#first post in the entire tag <2 and I had to re read the title AGAIN TO TAG IT. WHY ISN'T IT AT LEAST ARCHETYPAL FORCE?

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 19/10

That's true - we don't know for sure that Trollian can fully emulate Sburb's surveillance capabilities.

If the trolls were sufficiently motivated, though, they wouldn't actually need to. Sollux could probably hack one of the kids' computers, to gain access to their Sburb viewport - although if he did, he wouldn't need a camera to snoop on their messages.

Is there a paranoia Aspect? I think I've finally found my calling.

anonymous asked: heya! ive just finished re-reading your ENtIRE liveblog and i to send asks about some stuff but i waited to finish so im sendind everything at once! (im gonna send stuff in a bunch of small asks so cat can stop just one instead of the whole thing in case of accidental spoilers) (aslo hi cat!) (also its ninnoy, havent sent an ask in a while but i changed my pfp to something slightly more spoilery so im in anon now) [...] the jade pen pal thing, do you have any new theories on who it could be?

None! I'm sure that it's someone derived from Grandpa Harley, but everything else is a mystery.

I have no particular theories about who he is, how he knows Jade, where he got his hands on so many endgame weapons, or why he's got such an antiquated accent if he's watching movies from the 80s. I assume time travel is involved, but that doesn't really narrow anything down in a comic like this. He (she? they?) is a complete enigma, and I'll just have to wait to learn more.

ALsO WHEREs YOUR sONAs? we havent seen them in so long im afraid sahlle might have actueally died of meteor strike (joking of course) also have you realized that "sally" and "cat" are both one letter of from a valid kid name? you could lend her one of your "L"s

I've actually been workshopping some Quest stuff for Sahlee this week! I suppose I'd need to figure out her Title first, though, and for that, I'd need to get a more solid idea of her personality, and how her experiences on Alternia have shaped her.

in one of your last posts you seemed to imply that the multiverse exists inside the timeline, but ive always read it as the opposite, the timeline inside the universe that would explain why the trolls can pick any time from the humans universe to talk to them but cant have private conversations with their own futute/past selves, its not an inherent part of trollian, they are just outside the human timeline (the memos are still trollian being time fucky) dont know if that makes any difference but its a thought also i realize the tag may be unecessary due to my quirk, but its too late to stop now

(NOTE: quirk omitted for readability, but the substitutions are [t -> 7, s -> 2] - sort of a variant of Sollux's quirk. I actually don't think we've seen any quirks which add a 7, so the voice here is distinct from any trolls we've seen so far. I like it!)

Originally, my assumption was that each timeline contained a duplicate of the entire multiverse. Doomed timelines don't seem to let you communicate with other universes/dimensions, though, so they don't need to contain other sectors of reality. I'm currently of the opinion that doomed timelines only contain an instance of the dimension they were doomed in. The only timeline which contains the entire multiverse is the Alpha.

This mechanic keeps doomed timelines simple, but in-universe, I don't know why it exists. Much like the Alpha itself, it's a mystery I can only speculate about.

has the shipping chart been updated since the last time we saw it? also you (at some point) said that equius<>feferi was a controversial ship so i had to go back to check the notes and i was the only person i found talkig about it so i guess im the whole controversy? if thats the case i would like to thank you for recognizing me as the equius<>feferi number 1 hater (all jokes of course)

I got a few skeptical asks about Equius<>Feferi, but you're the only one who discussed it on the post itself. I guess by some measures, you are the most dedicated hater, because your hate was posted publicly! 🤣

I could make one or two changes, but I don't want to post a new chart until the kids meet the trolls in person, hopefully at the end of the Act!

The Scratch, naturally - but I'm also looking forward to seeing exactly how WV was Exiled. He's currently on Skaia, and Jack has lost interest in him, so who's actually sending him through the portal?

Tavros is barely a presence on the Land he's ostensibly the hero of, and all of his actions are being dictated by a third party who can physically control his body. This third party does not acknowledge or respect Tavros's own desires, effectively forcing him to play the game in a way that she personally approves of.

She claims it will make him stronger.

@bladekindeyewear submitted: That was a long, thorough, and fantastic response! It's fascinating seeing your opinion on these things-- and I'm glad to see that considering the questions we've given you seems to have made you more paranoid. But I'm just not entirely sure you're paranoid ENOUGH. Not yet. Much like how you just found that "BREEZE" quote in your Breath research, back at around the time you've now reached in the comic, we had dozens of theory-miners combing back through everything that had been said and shown in Homestuck, over and over again, searching for anything we might have missed that might have been of some importance. [...] So, uh….. how do I put this… Would you prefer to strictly handle that sort of thing all by yourself, as you've said? Which I'd agree is still the best way that you should keep to, for the most part? Or would you mind if I gave you just a CRUMB of an example, only one? A tiny bit of text that we in the theory community only found at about the time you've reached in the comic, even though it was more than a thousand pages earlier?

Shit, this is such a dilemma. I'm honestly really torn.

See, I'd probably find old fandom theories absolutely fascinating to analyze. I'd love to know how closely my ideas align with those of the early Homestuck fandom, and whether I'm saying anything really out-of-pocket. My analysis of Sollux's ~ATH script was apparently an original theory, and it's honestly one my proudest moments.

But that's also sort of the problem, isn't it? If I dive too deeply into other people's fan theories, they'll start to affect my own - and if I'm introduced to a really compelling fan theory, it could end up replacing any homegrown theories that I could have developed in lieu of it. If someone had send me a well-reasoned ~ATH theory before I did my own analysis, I'd probably have been less motivated to make the analysis in the first place. After all, many of my questions would already have been answered by a clever theory I just read.

People are free to send me their own off-the-cuff opinions on what's happening in the comic, or their own takes on any meta I write. I get a lot of asks like that, and they're some of my favorites. There are also asks which spoil a little too much, but I'm still interested in their takes, so Cat's saving them for later. We don't really delete asks - we just delay the ones that aren't necessarily appropriate for a blind liveblog.

Obviously there's a fine line here, and whether a given ask is a theory or just an opinion is a little subjective - but in my opinion, the influence that asks and submissions have had on my analysis has been relatively minor. I don't think many of my theories have been spawned from an ask, or killed by one.

This is a little different, though, because it's part of a theory that was crowdsourced over several years. It doesn't sound like something that could be inferred by an individual, so I'm not sure if it's something an individual liveblogger should necessarily know about? If I start crowdsourcing my analysis, my theories will be less Wertsearch and more fandom consensus, and I don't think I'd enjoy that as much.

I really want to know, but I think I'll enjoy the liveblog more if I don't. When I finish the comic, I'll gleefully analyze any fan theory that anyone sends me - but for now, I'll just have to wonder, and come up with theories of my own!

Yeah, we've really been getting into it with Vriska lately. I've enjoyed trying to explain and predict her actions, and I'm glad people don't think I'm going overboard when trying to analyze her.

When a character does something interesting, I don't like to move on until I have a theory about why they did it. Sure, it may be refuted later, but it needs to be something that's consistent with what I currently know about their personality.

Vriska takes a particularly long time to puzzle out in this way. Her motivations are derived from a complex web (lol) of factors, including Scratch, Spidermom, her rivalry with Terezi, her horrendous relationship with Tavros, classism, teenage hormones, quadrant politics, highblood society and the Alternian culture of violence. They all inform her decisions, and any combination of them could have been the catalyst for the latest Vriska Incident.

I want characters to make sense to me, and Vriska is written to deliberately challenge my attempt to achieve this. Her meta is fun to write, so I'm glad it's also fun to read!

[lololollywrites]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @discordantwords!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 10 as of now (7 for Sherlock and 3 for Harry Potter, though the HP fics were either begun or completed in 2012 (first posted on ff.net)... in other words, before I knew about JK's raging transphobia. I finally finished a HP WIP in 2020 that I had abandoned years ago, after my resulting disillusionment, because I decided that my work didn't deserve to be in vain. I'm so glad I did!

2. What's your total A03 word count? 168,333

3. What fandoms do you write for? On AO3, just BBC Sherlock and HP, though I have Smallville, Supernatural, and even a Gilmore Girls fic on my ff.net account (the earliest of them written in 2006) that I will NOT be linking here. 😂

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? (Since I've only been posting Sherlock fics on AO3 since September 2021, there's not a ton of variation between these):

The Waning of Withdrawal

Of Sweat, Sociopathy, Scars, and Secrets

Never Been Better

Pressure Points

Genius is a Star Whose Light (is Soon to Sink in Endless Night); I think I may change the title soon since it's so unwieldy)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! Mainly because I love when authors reply to mine - it acknowledges my gratitude and can open a line of communication. Plus, I just get so excited by every single comment notification that I need to squee and send hearts to the sender.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None of my Sherlock fics have angsty endings, though that was my original goal for Never Been Better. It originally ended with Chapter 1, but I added two more chapters upon popular demand to fix things. :) It's a classic Sherlock-leaves-John's-wedding-early fic, so I'd intended to explore what may have happened within canon as sort of a missing scene/character exploration. Ultimately, however, I decided to throw a bone to poor Sherlock and disregard canon events.

However, my Harry Potter fic The Burn of the Phoenix, which I migrated to AO3 in 2020 after it's huge reception on ff.net back in 2012 (it's a 13k-word oneshot with 273 reviews and 951 favorites, though I'd definitely not write it the same way today), is definitely angsty. The end is hopeful, but ultimately... I killed Harry Potter. So. 😂 The ending, as it doesn't miraculously entail Harry coming back to life, can certainly be considered angsty as well. The entire fic is from Dudley's perspective as he learns of Harry's death (an alternate version of canon) and attends his funeral.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? As described above, all of my fics have happy endings! Though I'd say the one that's most unabashedly happy with minimal lingering pain and turmoil is Cold Inside. Genius comes close, but Sherlock is horrifically injured even despite happy news that comes in the last chapter so there's still an uphill battle ahead.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, though I did get a very direct comment on The Waning of Withdrawal - the first time I ever wrote smut - that said the following (the "At all" was particularly harsh):

"I loved the fic and the way you formed everything with the comforting,and the understanding,the guilt and stuff and angst in the main part of the fic but I'm not a huge fan of how much detail went into their love part and stuff.. Not saying it's bad! I'm sure some people absolutely love it but I'm personally not a huge fan of the sex scene. At all."

(Luckily, two other commenters jumped in to my defense!) It seems innocuous enough, but I'd included an A/N that said it was my first time writing a love scene, despite it being brief, so "please go easy on me". The rating and tags were appropriate, too, so it seemed a bit out of the blue. That one little comment knocked my confidence for a while and made it impossible for me to re-read the fic without cringing.

9. Do you write smut? Just two of my Sherlock fics so far are rated E for smut. The Waning of Withdrawal, as described above, and Cold Inside, which has a lengthy sex scene in Chapter 4. It was so much harder than I thought to write - there's nothing quite like meticulously editing writing comprised of graphic depictions of anal sex, haha.

10. Do you write crossovers? No, nor do I usually enjoy them. I really admire the creativity, but tend to prefer fics that are plausible and in-canon; it's just a preference (with exceptions, of course!) That being said, crossovers that could happen between comparable universes - such as Sherlock and Hannibal - really appeal to me in theory.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I'd be so thrilled!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, nor do I have a beta. I'm sure it could improve my work, but I feel horrifically self conscious during any editing process that involves another person. It's something I need to work on!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Sherlock & John and Arthur & Merlin are pretty neck-in-neck. I don't have many Merlin bookmarks, as it was my prior obsession before Sherlock, but I've been delving more into the Merlin fandom lately. Writing for it just seems harder for me - accounting for historical accuracy (though the show isn't historically accurate at all, it's just an entirely different universe) and the bounds of Merlin's magic would be tricky. Maybe one day.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? HAHAHAHAHA so... I did use to write more than one fic at once, waaaay back in the day, but have long since learned my lesson. I refuse to have true WIPs anymore - I only develop one idea at a time - and don't even publish a story until it's complete or almost complete (and fully outlined). Why? Well, there's one WIP I will NEVER finish. It's a Supernatural fic on ff.net with 6 chapters (out of a planned minimum of 10), first published in March of 2007 and last updated in February of 2008. Ooops.

It most recently received a review in 2015, which reads as follows: "WOW! ...update any time soon?...PLEASE...k"

Yeah. So. Never again for me.

16. What are your writing strengths? Based on the comments I receive, I think my strengths are characterization and dialogue. Oddly enough, these are two of my insecurities, but I think that my hyperfixation on both (knowing that I need to consciously work on them) has led to vast improvement.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I often have a difficult time coming up with the initial premise, and am not nearly as creative as many of the writers out there I admire. Ideas usually come without me trying - such as late at night or in the shower - so I jot them down whenever that happens. That's all that seems to work for me. FTH was great in that it took a bit of the burden off and allowed me to elicit prompts from bidders instead.

I also struggle to weave incredibly complex stories. I don't think I'll ever be one of those writers who can write 100k-plus fics full of twists and turns. My plots tend to be more narrow, focused, and immediate.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? As cool as this is - and I may be able to do this with Spanish, as it was my university minor - I wouldn't want dialogue to read as clunky or unnatural to a native speaker or to impede the flow of the prose (I'd want to add translations when possible in parentheses so as not to discourage readers who are not bilingual, unless the dialogue is short and can be translated in an end note).

In Genius, I have excerpts here and there in Serbian, but I ultimately use English to express longer Serbian dialogue (between <brackets> rather than "quotation marks" to indicate the difference in language being spoken and with the acknowledgement that translations are never 1-1. For me, this also helped preserve Sherlock's personality and ensure it could shine through.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Smallville! Way back in 2006. It was terrible; I killed Clark in an alternate version of S5's Hidden. I'm not sure what used to be the appeal of character death to me. You'd never catch me writing it now.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? It's hard to choose, but I have two answers for different reasons. The fic I'm most proud of writing is Genius. I worked SO, SO hard on the story outline, plot, and the symbolism and clues thrown in throughout. It's my longest and most complex story so far at 51K words, too.

The story I believe to be my best is Never Been Better; specifically, its first chapter. I don't think I've since written a more in-character version of Sherlock or a starker portrayal of his emotions.

I also have a huge soft spot for my Harry Potter fic The Truth at Last, which is the first fic I ever posted to AO3. It marks a huge improvement in my writing from when I first started it in 2012, as I was able to return to it in 2019/20 with a more mature perspective.

I'll tag anyone who hasn't yet been tagged and would like to join! (Sorry for the lack of creativity there - I'm always afraid I'll forget someone).

[millennialdemon]

One of the unfortunate things about watching the lowest rated anime I can find is that there’s a large chance that I have to watch them in a resolution of approximately, ehh, 100 pixels?, give or take. 

That being said I don’t have many screencaps of Archetypes Forces -- and considering its appearance perhaps that is for the best -- but I do have some impressions of it.

Archetypes Forces is a 20 minute long sci-fi OVA from 2002 that is rendered completely in CGI. It is about a nameless crew of 3 aboard a cargo ship that is, unbeknownst to them, carrying containers of… some sort of genetically engineered, formless, mutated monster that is initially in the form of yellow liquid (???) that can seemingly shapeshift into any living thing it touches. It kills the soldier on board and assumes his appearance in order to get close to the others and try to kill them as well, but the captain finds the corpse of the real soldier, and figures it all out in the nick of time. The monster reveals itself and the captain shoots it dead, but then there’s an emergency notification -- the whole cargo hold is being flooded by this evil yellow liquid!

The captain and his crewmate start running down a very, very long corridor that comprises the majority of their ship for some reason, and the monster, now in the form of a… giant baby head with tentacle appendages, chases after them. No, really.

(Makes you wonder, if this thing transforms into beings it has killed, then…? A baby? When? And why just a giant, glistening head? What about the mouthed tendrils, is that just its true form? But then what was with the liquid--)

Anyway, there’s a chase, and the captain and his crew member hold it off behind one of many huge doors in order to don their little mecha suits, to make for a longer and more epic chase when the monster inevitably breaks through. After shooting the monster a lot and not really slowing it down at all, the captain throws a grenade at one of the walls behind it on purpose, so that the monster gets sucked out into the vacuum of space. He narrowly avoids getting drawn in himself as the monster grabs his ankle for a few moments, but his crewmate gets a hold of him so he can shoot the monster until it lets go. They hang on to eachother until uhm… the vacuum of space just, stops, and gravity returns to normal as they stand on the edge. Just a little windy for a bit there, I suppose! You know how space is.

Unfortunately for them, an identical baby-head tentacle monster shows up immediately after they recover and the chase continues! This time the captain decides to just detach the whole damn corridor -- why there is a lever you can pull to detach 80% of the ship is beyond me, but I guess it isn’t being used for anything anyway? It’s completely empty and there are no rooms coming off of it -- and again, he barely manages to grab onto the ledge as the monster’s tentacle wraps around his ankle. But this time, it injects a sharp claw into him, and his eyes turn black like the soldier’s before he turned, so his crewmate lets go of his hand and he falls into the void of space with the monster. 

The crewmate despairs for a moment before she notices a trail of blood going into a room behind her. She follows it and finds… her own corpse! The OVA ends with her asking, “Who am I?”

You might be thinking this whole premise sounds kind of familiar. Yes, I have also seen John Carpenter’s The Thing, the iconic sci-fi horror film about a malicious alien life form that kills people and assumes their form to the ends of eventually killing them all, and perhaps everyone else on earth, if only these particular people weren’t so bent on never letting it escape this isolated place. This concept of alien deception isn’t exclusive to The Thing of course, but there is imagery in Archetypes Forces that does evoke that film specifically, such as the imposter soldier’s head splitting in half to reveal tendrils and a big toothy mouth.

There are a few scenes in this OVA that remind me of scenes from Alien movies as well: The queen xenomorph being dragged into the vacuum of space and grabbing hold of Ripley’s ankle to hang on for just a few more moments at the end of Aliens, and the scene in Alien 3 where the prisoners run from the xenomorph through corridors, and frantically smash buttons to close the doors behind them.

Archetypes Forces doesn’t do anything other than simply evoke the imagery of these films, of course. Beyond looking like a PS2 era cutscene with its plastic-smooth skin textures and uncanny valley faces, the OVA does not feature an especially fleshed out plot or concept. With OVAs it’s expected that you’re not in for a well developed narrative I suppose, but one does expect something else in return: interesting visuals, exciting fight scenes, a gripping tone or atmosphere. But Archetype Forces really doesn’t contain any of these compromises either -- it is just an ugly sci-fi horror that isn’t scary, or exciting, or at least unique. 

Its ending is meant to be ambiguous and existential, but it just confuses things. The crewmate had already been turned before this whole thing happened? Literally, how? The OVA opens with them receiving the cargo from another ship, so when was there an opportunity for her to be killed and cloned? And since she was an imposter the whole time: Why did the imposter soldier try to kill her? Why did she fight against the monster and try to save the captain various times? How did the monster not know it was a monster?

There are only a handful of things that Archetypes Forces does that I can comment on positively, and they aren’t things that are done well so much as they are things that are done competently enough to get by, or just done at all. It had normal character designs, wasn’t offensive or depraved, was tonally consistent, and was directed competently enough as to be easy to follow.

2/10

Oh, and I hate the title. It is so forgettable that I had to keep scrolling to the beginning of my own post to remember it nearly every time I mentioned it afterwards.

[outerbankies]

new light — rafe cameron

this is now part 1 of a series, check out the rest here: new light series masterlist

summary: you’re home from college in the OBX, and so is your eighth grade crush, rafe cameron.

pairing: rafe x kook reader

warnings: drinking, swearing

a/n: i think we ALL have that one high school crush that we would, to this day, drop anything and risk it all for. not canon rafe. title/lyrics/concept kinda based off of new light by john mayer. already have ideas for a part 2 so let me know

my writing

but if you give me just one night, you're gonna see me in a new light

rafecameron replied to your story: Are you in town rn too?

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion when you first saw the Instagram notification. You couldn’t remember the last time you spoke to Rafe Cameron, or even saw him for that matter. Both you and Rafe had moved away to different colleges after high school ended, and even in high school you were never too close. You didn't find yourself back in the Outer Banks often these days, but when you did, you'd see Rafe around sometimes. The two of you would usually exchange quick ‘hello’s in passing at parties, occasionally talking about college or internships on boat days.

Back in high school, you were closer to his friend Kelce if anything. Rafe was always causing trouble, acting like he owned the entire island. Which, he kind of did.

You even had a fleeting crush on him back in eighth grade. That was before you all grew up and Rafe really became Rafe. You were still attracted to him, but his bad boy persona had effectively put you off any serious pursuit. You were just friends from that point on, which is why seeing his name on your phone had surprised you as you were sat scrolling Tik Tok in your childhood bedroom.

Rafe was tall, broad, cuter than anything, but just a bit outside your comfort zone when it came to romantic interests. And if he wasn't messing around drinking and picking fights at parties, Rafe was always dating someone, talking to someone, or actively hooking up with multiple someones. You played your cards close to your chest when it came to boys.

You sigh, re-reading his message over and over; just a simple six word reply to the picture you had posted of the sunset from your parents' backyard. Location tagged, so there was no denying. You tell yourself to just get over it and type out an earnest reply, just to see what he wants.

y/n: i am! you as well?

rafecameron: Yeah, Sarah's graduating this week

That's right, your little brother and his little sister, Sarah, were in the same grade at school.

y/n: nice, that's why i'm here too

y/n: my little brother’s graduating

rafecameron: I guess I'll see you there

rafecameron: Unless you'd be down to get a drink or something this week

Your first instinct is to roll your eyes. You type out a rejection immediately, but something strange happens, when you falter momentarily.

Of course you were curious. Why was Rafe Cameron asking you on a date? Was he at all?

He is pretty much the only friend you knew was home this week, all of your mutual friends were still away in their college towns. Would it be that bad if you just saw him for one drink? It'd beat just hanging out with your family all week. You ponder it for a second or two before shaking your head in finality.

What were you even thinking?

y/n: i think i'll just see you at the academy on Friday, Rafe

You start to wonder if that was a bit too harsh, but his quick reply puts you at ease.

rafecameron: Had to try. See you then 😊

—

Over the next couple of days you spent at home, you found yourself thinking about Rafe more and more. More than you had since high school, maybe more than you had ever.

"Had to try" was burned into your eyeballs at this point, based on how long you had stared at the message, trying to find a deeper meaning. Coming back to it sometimes, when you thought about it again.

Everything had reminded you of him now. Running into Ward while you were with your dad on the golf course, you found yourself way more disappointed then you should have been when you noticed Rafe wasn't with him. Your younger brother needed a ride to Sarah's graduation party, and you blushed when you noticed Rafe's truck in the driveway of their house. You swore you even passed by the Druthers out on the water one day.

You're embarrassed to admit that you had spent that entire night Rafe messaged you scrolling through his Instagram. There were some pictures you remembered seeing when he first posted them; cheesy ones with his frat brothers on a golf course, even a few with his baby sister. Those were your favorites.

No girls though, you can't help but notice.

You had scrolled all the way back in his feed to the high school days, sifting through douchey boat pictures with Topper and Kelce, only to find yourself in one picture.

Way back when, Kelce had asked you to senior prom, and you went in a big group with all of your friends.

But imagine your surprise when you and Kelce had showed up at Tanneyhill to take pictures, only to find that yours and Rafe's outfits had ended up matching better than either of yours did with your dates’. Rafe pointed it out to you first ("nice taste, Y/l/n"), and all of your friends teased you mercilessly.

His step-mother Rose had insisted the two of you got a picture together. You vividly remember being shocked that that was the picture he chose to post later that night—all of your friends, including Kelce, messaging you screenshots, teasing you even more.

Rafe had just texted you the rest of the pictures Rose took and left it at that. Then came graduation, and college, and here you are, being hit up like some old fling that you never actually were.

The two of you looked so young to you now, but you could admit it was still a great picture. Rafe had sensed you felt weird about the picture, and whispered some joke about Rose in your ear that made you break out into laughter and hit him on the chest.

He had caught you against him, hand on the small of your back and a wide smile on his lips as he looked down at you. Rose had snapped the picture at just the right moment.

Looking at it gave you butterflies now, and you started to wonder if you were too eager to reject him.

You tried to push him out of your mind while you ran errands for your family today, getting ready for all of the graduation festivities to come that weekend.

High school graduation wasn't monumental for families that lived in Figure 8, but any excuse to throw a party.

You had just pulled up to the health food store, cold brew in hand, when someone called out your name in front of the store.

And then a tall boy in a white t-shirt and a baseball cap was waving and walking towards you. Long legs strode toward you, tan skin and cologne invading your senses.

Rafe Cameron stopped just in front of you, and this close to him, you start to notice the details: his hint of stubble, the unruly hair flipping up a bit at the ends from under his cap. College had clearly been treating him well.

“What’s up?” he asks, a hand reaching up to scratch the top of his other arm a bit awkwardly, gaze never leaving yours.

“Not a lot.” You turn to pull a cart out of the stack, setting your coffee inside and leaning against it. “Just doing some errands for my mom.”

"Nice," he says immediately, nodding. The silence stretches to the point where it gets a bit awkward.

"Um, what about you?" you ask.

"Yeah, same—well, for Rose, but," he says, awkwardly holding up the bag of groceries he has, still nodding his head. "You know."

You nod at that, not really knowing what to say next. Although you weren’t sure it was the right decision anymore, especially standing here in front of him today, you’d really hoped he’d let you walk away with out bringing the DMs up.

"Yeah. Well, good to see you." You move to start pushing your cart inside the store, but Rafe grabs the side of it, halting your movements easily. You pretend not to notice the way his muscles move under the sleeves of his shirt. Had he always been that built? Fuck.

"Wait."

You stop pushing the cart, leaning against it in a way you hope comes off as leisurely.

"I just wanted to apologize if I overstepped the other night," he says sheepishly. "I don’t know if you have a boyfriend or whatever at school, but..."

He trails off, shrugging, trying and failing to suppress a curious and expectant look.

"I don't."

You say it immediately, because it's the truth. Why didn't you just pretend you did, though? It'd be easier to reject Rafe with a viable excuse, like a boyfriend back at college.

Maybe you didn't want one.

"Sorry... I just. You know," you finish awkwardly.

Rafe nods in understanding, and then he laughs a little.

"I know," he says, swinging his bag of groceries around. Again, you try not to notice. "I forgot that none of the guys in the Outer Banks were ever good enough for Y/n Y/l/n."

Your mouth drops open a little bit, your entire body flushing with heat.

"What? Don't play dumb," Rafe chides at your shocked expression. "You can't act like it isn't true."

"It's not! Sorry I don't just come home to hook up with my high school friends," you say firmly, rolling your eyes and beginning to push the cart past him.

"Who said anything about hooking up? I asked you for one drink," he reminds you. He still hasn't taken his hand off your cart. You scoff.

"Now who's playing dumb?" you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

A nanny wrangling 3 blonde triplets walks by the two of you. You begin to consider just getting another cart.

"You seriously thought I was just sliding into your DMs to fuck you?" Rafe said, voice dropping to just above a whisper. He says it quietly, but it snaps you back to reality. His demeanor has shifted, from friendly and playful to serious. And if you look too closely, maybe even a little bit of hurt. "I'm not the seventeen year old prick I was when we left here."

"Why else would you invite me out?"

"I don't know," Rafe said. "To talk to you, catch up for one night.”

“You expect me to believe you just wanted to catch up with me? ‘Talk?’” you ask, using your fingers as sarcastic quotation marks.

“Is it that hard to believe I just wanted to see you?” he presses.

"What—where is this even coming from?" you question.

Rafe is looking back at you with a completely blank stare. But you watch as recognition slowly takes over his features.

"Oh, you’re serious?" he asks.

"I..." You trail off lamely, because you have no idea what to say anymore. Rafe scoffs again, picking his hand up off of your cart to ball it into a fist, then bringing it back down to tap on the cart. Fidgeting.

"Y/n, I had the biggest crush on you," he confesses. "For like, all of high school."

That's the point at which the air leaves your lungs, your mouth falling open again.

Rafe has a blush dusting the tops of his cheeks now, but he still grins at the expression on your face.

"I thought I was obvious," he claims, shaking his head. "You really didn't know?"

"No, Rafe, I—wow," you stutter. "Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"But you were with—”

His laugh cuts you off, and you can tell he's a bit embarrassed. That hadn't been your intention at all, but you feel bad anyways.

"Well, not anymore. So," he shrugs.

You just nod, looking down to where you'd chipped off part of your fresh manicure during your conversation. Your mom was probably going to kill you.

"Rafe, I really didn't know," you say quietly.

"Now you do," he says simply. He takes his hand off of your cart then, making to move past you and finally leave. "I'll see you on Friday."

You don't watch him as he retreats, still staring down at your nails.

Shutting your eyes, you throw your head back and sigh in resignation. You weren't letting him walk away.

"Rafe, wait!" You turn around towards the parking lot, seeing that he hadn't gotten too far. He turns around just as he's about to approach his truck, the same gray one he's had since high school. "Just one night?"

His smirk is immediate, and it almost makes you regret your choice.

"I'll text you," he says, unlocking the door to his truck. "Same number?"

—

You met Rafe at some swanky, new rooftop bar near Figure 8 that had opened since you left the Outer Banks. It intimated you, but at least it wasn't a dive bar on the Cut. You knew he had frequented those back in high school.

He's standing tall at the bar when you come in, looking cleaned up nice. He still had his jeans cuffed and some god-awful boat shoes on, because some things never change.

And he’s wearing his trademark wayfarers, one high school tradition you're glad he'd never ditched because it definitely still worked for him. You can almost picture the look in his eyes behind those polarized lenses as he scans the bar.

You wait for him to see you, standing there in a lilac slip dress with the pair of platform sandals you brought home to wear to your brother’s graduation. You didn’t want to seem like you were trying too hard for a drink with an old friend, but you couldn't help yourself wanting to look good for him. For Rafe Cameron.

He clocks you then, beaming and beckoning you over with a wave of his hand.

“You look beautiful." Rafe watches you approach, pulling you in for a hug when you’re within arms reach. “What do you think of this place?”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you compliment, making a show of looking around again. “It’s gorgeous up here.”

Rafe is back to leaning up against the bar, watching as the bartender brings back your drinks—he had already ordered.

“What have you been up to at home?” You move in a slight daze as Rafe opens a tab on his black card, hands you a drink and places a hand on the small of your back to guide you somewhere less crowded.

You can’t suppress a blush when you noticed that your holding your go-to drink. How had he remembered?

You have to remind yourself to stutter out a reply.

“It’s been good,” you say, nodding again. “My parents are like, freaking out that their baby is graduating high school. Dylan doesn’t seem all that concerned. But you know how it is—always good to be home.”

Rafe’s smile gets a bit tighter at that, but he covers it up well as he pulls a chair out for you.

“What about you?”

“It’s...” he starts. His sunglasses are off now, and you have the strangest urge to reach over and smooth the line in between his eyebrows for him. You don’t, though. “I’m happy for Sarah, and I’m glad she wanted me here.”

You can tell it's still a sensitive subject, his family. Throwing him a bone, you set your drink down and change the subject.

"It's weird being back here like this, isn't it? Adults, legally drinking in public."

He huffs a laugh at that. "How would you know, Y/l/n? You were such a goodie two shoes back then."

—

Over the next few drinks (you’re on number three, which is two more than you’d promised him), it’s like you’re getting to know Rafe all over again. He’s different, yet still the same as you remember in so many ways. In the good ways.

He tells you about his life at school, his relationship with his dad, and everything in between.

But the distance from the Outer Banks had clearly done him good. He seemed more mature than you remember, more laid back but still confident. It was like this part of him that had always been there, that you had only valued now that you were seeing him in a new light.

Constantly flickering in your mind throughout the entire night is a movie highlight reel of all the moments Rafe had shown you he was worth the time of day. Eighth grade, when he dissected the frog all by himself and let you copy his lab report because you couldn’t even bare to look at it. Or Midsummers sophomore year of high school, when a waiter spilled a drink down the back of your dress and Rafe had wrapped his suit jacket around your shoulders without a second thought, driving you home after even though his license was so new he wasn't supposed to have anyone else in the car with him.

When you were both about to move to college, and Rafe threw one last get together for all of your friends that August, he’d hugged you so tight when you showed up with your girl friends, looking shocked you decided to come. Or the first time you saw him since moving away, when Kelce had thrown a Thanksgiving Eve rager. You almost hadn’t recognized Rafe in the smoke filled house, but he had moved to you eagerly like he’d been waiting for you all night.

And now you realize, he probably had.

You couldn’t look back on any one of those memories, and not have it immediately tinted by a new pair of a rose colored glasses.

He's asking about your major, your plans for the future. He even remembered Dylan's going to school for volleyball. This version of Rafe wasn't concerned with messing with pogues and pissing off his dad for attention like he had been years ago.

He's just concerned with you.

The sun had long set, string lights and the moon now the only thing illuminating both of your faces. There’s a lapse in the conversation, and you swirl your spritzer with the cocktail straw.

“Alright, I have to ask,” you say finally.

“Oh boy,” Rafe answers, his head resting in one of his hands.

“Were you serious? When you said that back at the store...” you trail off. Saying it out loud, you feel a bit silly.

“Said what?”

“That you had a crush on me back in high school,” you answer.

“Of course.”

As the bar got more crowded and the volume had increased, Rafe had pulled your chair closer to him under the pretense of being able to hear you better. It really hadn’t gotten that loud, but you weren’t going to object when he placed a strong hand under the bottom of your chair and gently yanked you closer to him. Your knees bumped constantly and his arm was hovering on the back of your chair.

But up close like this, you could see the earnestness in his eyes more clearly. And you could tell he was being truthful.

Rafe was always there, right in front of you, waiting for whenever you’d want him one day.

“I believe you,” you rush to say, placing a hand on his arm. “I guess I just thought you never really noticed me.”

“How could I not?”

Your cheeks are absolutely burning now.

“Then how come you never made a move?” you blurt.

“You didn’t seem interested in having anything to do with me,” he laughs. “Like, at all.”

You feel a bit bad when he puts it that way, even if it was true. You never thought he noticed.

“I was really shy back then,” you defend weakly. He’s looking at you fondly, like he appreciates your attempts, but can still see right through them.

“And I was an asshole,” he counters. He places a rough hand on your knee cap then. “It’s okay, Y/n/n.”

“You were intimidating,” you claim, but he just looks at you in indignation. You squawk, still thrown off by him calling you by your old nickname. “You were!”

“I was a kid.”

“Yeah, so was I,” you state incredulously. “Rafe, you ran this place. You had everything that you could have wanted.”

“Not everything," he says.

Your heartbeat picks up at his words, your eyes focusing intently on his own. He’s not unaffected by his own confession, opting to look out at the night sky rather than face you.

"I liked you too, you know," you confess. "In middle school."

He turns to face you again, eyes wider than they had been before.

"No fucking way."

"Way, Cameron," you smile. "Do you remember the frog?"

"Of course I remember the frog," he says hastily. "I-I can't believe you remember the frog."

"So I guess we were both clueless, then," you say.

"No," Rafe shuts you down, jokingly. "It's definitely not the same. You gave up on me, I was invested in the long game."

“Then what changed?” you ask, finally placing a hand over his. “Why now?”

He’s scanning your face now, looking for any signs of hesitance before sliding a warm hand to rest on the back of your neck. He strokes his thumb leisurely over your nape.

“It was kind of a shot in the dark. The timing felt right,” he says simply. “Couldn’t wait any longer, just never knowing.”

"I'm glad you did." You can feel your heartbeat in your ears now, almost missing his next comment.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, Y/l/n,” Rafe whispers, moving to lean in halfway. Everything is up to you now.

You nod eagerly, leaning in to meet him in the middle.

Kissing Rafe Cameron is different than how you had pictured it would be back in middle school. At 12, you couldn't anticipate that kissing the boy would immediately overwhelm all of your senses, taking you completely by surprise as it did. The years of history, the weight of his confessions this week, the fact that you were just having such a good time tonight—it all washed over you in waves. Waves of Rafe and his touch, his kisses, the way he’s holding you so carefully, like he’s afraid the moment will shatter with one wrong move.

Your head is positively swimming by the time Rafe pulls back from you, his hand on your knee coming up to your face, brushing his thumb along your bottom lip.

Your eyes open, re-focusing on his face at this distance. His skin is flushed pink, from the kiss, from the drinks, from the North Carolina humidity you thought you'd never miss a day in your life. But now, seeing its impact on the boy in front of you makes you more than thankful it exists.

"See, I knew sliding into your DMs would work."

You wipe the stupid smirk off of his face with one more kiss.

"Be honest, how did you know my drink?" you inquire.

Rafe flushes crimson, kissing you again, downing the remainder of his drink and offers a hand to you, standing up to take you home.

"I texted Kelce half an hour before you showed up."

—

rafecameron tagged you in a photo: had to try

[the-land-of-eternal-winter-novel]

I posted 136 times in 2022

That's 136 more posts than 2021!

78 posts created (57%)

58 posts reblogged (43%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tzarina-alexandra

@dalriata-propaganda-department

@scarvenartist

@the-land-of-eternal-winter-novel

I tagged 135 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#the land of eternal winter - 114 posts

#my novel - 91 posts

#draft 1 - 62 posts

#anatoliy - 21 posts

#gintare - 13 posts

#sveta - 12 posts

#scene - 9 posts

#radek - 8 posts

#afanasiy - 7 posts

#draft 2 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#the chapter was named something like the country in which winter never ends or something less spiritual sounding than land and eternal

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Now that I finished posting the chapters I can finally post my latest illustration

This depicts the very first scene of the very first chapter. You can read it by searching #chapter 1

I have re written the first scene a little, although I haven't gotten round to the entire chapter

_______

The prince rushed down the hallway, with a determined look, heavy, steady steps and a large pile of newspapers. Entering the main dining room, he didn't even bother to sit down before slamming the papers against the table. He pointed his finger to the title of an article and told his brother-in-law next to him:

"Read that!"

“Maksim Vladimirovich Sokolov died in a fire in his own laboratory, only a day after having been found guilty of his parents’ poisoning. ”

"As he very well deserved!" he exclaimed, full of confidence.

"What is it that you want from me, Tolya? You arrive late for breakfast, you don't greet me and now you desperately want me to read this 25 year old newspaper. You weren't even born then!"

"Sorry, Radek, but this was rather urgent. You didn't believe me when I told you of lab-made diseases, so I did a bit of research on that. If they existed then, they also do now. Read the other articles as well, you'll find everything you need to know about that 'scientist'.”

Radek looked at him in confusion for a second, then widened his eyes in disbelief. It was only now that he noticed Anatoliy was dressed the same as the previous day, and he was pale and with dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you stay up all night just to prove me wrong? It wasn't that serious of a debate either!"

"I knew you wouldn't take me seriously, so I went to the archives immediately after finishing yesterday's breakfast in order to do some research. I was certain I would find much information, and as you can see, I did."

Radek placed his palms on his forehead and sighed, then continued:

"Please, stop now. (...)"

______

I may be insecure about other parts of my writing but I am very satisfied with the opening for this novel, I think it sets the stage well in terms of mood and characterisation.

4 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

As I have mentioned many times both here and on main, I have already written and posted draft 1, and I am now working in some capacity on draft 2, which is going to contain smaller or greater changes.

Please refer to these links for future reference:

Description of the plot:

All LoeW art posted ever:

https://www.deviantart.com/tzarina-alexandra/gallery/71744393/the-land-of-eternal-winter-art

All draft 1 chapters:

https://www.deviantart.com/tzarina-alexandra/gallery/73346611/the-land-of-eternal-winter-draft-1-chapters

Main tumblr: @tzarina-alexandra

4 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

🖊Your main character

Thank you for the ask!

The main character of my novel is Anatoliy, the son of the emperor (but not the heir; he is the middle child).

In terms of personality, he is a very passionate person, both for the better (he puts a lot of attention and care into his interests and his loved ones) and for the worse (in modern times he would 100% be diagnosed w/ OCD, being unable to let go of his fears and worries). His main quality would be honesty and his main flaws would be stubbornness and recklessness. He thus perceived by others as rather immature (he's almost 22 in the first chapter) and a bit of a conspiracy theorist, but he is well loved by his family despite the disagreements.

In terms of values, he is very religious (but it would be accurate to say that he tends towards legalism). What he values the most in life is justice, but to the detriment of forgiveness, and honesty, to the detriment of grace.

In terms of relationships, he is the kind of person to put people into two main groups: friends vs enemies. Towards people he considers to be friends he is very kind and loyal, but, as he in fact does in the first chapters, he would take matters into his own hands if he thought somebody harmed his loved ones. As it stands, his circle of trusted people is rather small, consisting mostly of his family members (father, two sisters, a brother-in-law, 3 nephews, uncle and as of recent his wife and newborn).

The main plot involves him assassinating the neighboring king because he believed him to be guilty for his father's death, and only afterwards does he learn that the man was innocent.

(#anatoliy for pictures or posts about him)

5 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

The Land of Eternal Winter - Political Compass 9×9 - ultimate character sheet + worldbuilding masterpost

Auth-Left

Including actual communists but generally just working class people and their adjacent labour unions, political parties etc

See the full post

6 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wanted to draw her with a candle for some time because I thought it would be symbolic, as the meaning of the name Elena is something along the lines of candle

11 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[stillness-in-green]

Ahistorical, Absurd, and Unsustainable (Introduction and Part One)

An Examination of the Mass Arrest of the Paranormal Liberation Front

INTRODUCTION

The title states my premise here: the breezy way My Hero Academia presents and resolves the mass arrest of the Paranormal Liberation Front is ludicrous. If taken as presented and allowed to stand without being further addressed, it serves as a breaking point from which the series will be incredibly hard-pressed to recover. Why, you ask?

From a logistical standpoint, it strains credulity. From an ethical standpoint, it suggests deeply troubling problems with the state of Hero Society. From a thematic standpoint, it unravels whole portions of the narrative’s spine. I’ll be looking at each of these facets in turn to discuss the questions they raise which My Hero Academia has not yet seen fit to answer. Many in fandom don’t seem to be thinking about it too hard, so I’d like to lay out—in exhaustive detail—all the reasons I find this plot element so wildly out of touch with causal reality.

Please note that while they are discussed when relevant, this essay is not principally about the named characters in the League of Villains or the erstwhile high command of the Metahuman Liberation Army. The sorts of consequences Shigaraki Tomura or Re-Destro would and should be facing in a courtroom are orders of magnitude beyond what Random Liberation Warrior X would be, but it’s the mass numbers of Random Liberation Warrior Xs that this essay is most concerned with, as they are the ones most in danger of being swept under a rug and forgotten by the series in its current state.

Further, be advised that this essay in its full form is both very long (about 21K words excluding Sources and Further Reading) and will contain extensive discussion of real-life Japan—comparisons to historical events, minutiae of its legal and carceral systems, and general cultural views on criminality. This will include references to imprisonment, government oppression, and incidents of terrorism both real and in the context of My Hero Academia.

Being as it is about quite a recent event in the series, it will also contain heavy spoilers all the way up through the most recent chapter as of this writing, Chapter 310. It likewise contains spoilers for the spin-off series My Hero Academia: Vigilantes up through Chapter 95.

The essay will be posted in parts on tumblr and in full on AO3. For the tumblr posting, I will provide links to other tumblr posts as I reference them; however, as I would like this to actually show up in the tags, outside links containing my sources and further reading will be provided in a separate post following the conclusion of the essay.

Lastly, I spent an entire month writing this as a fan who is sympathetic to the villains in general and the MLA in particular. If your response to the very concept of this essay is anything to the tune of, “Who cares what happens to a bunch of disgusting quirk eugenicists?” know that you and I have radically different views on the MLA, and the role of the justice system in general. You are, of course, welcome to read the essay anyway, but, having said my piece about the MLA and their relationship with quirk supremacy elsewhere, I will not be engaging with arguments or gotchas on that subject here.

PART ONE: The Facts at Hand

Before we get too deep into things, let’s lay out the basic facts: how many people are actually involved in the arrest, as well as some comparisons to real-life events to contextualize that number and provide some referents for the issues the arrest raises.

Re-Destro gives the numbers of the Metahuman Liberation Army as 116,516. A lot of people go on to die in Deika, though we’re never given a solid count. The biggest batch we see killed in a single go are the press of sixty or so people Shigaraki decays, then the sixteen-ish Toga drops, though some of those might possibly have had quirks that allowed them to survive. Any number of people certainly died as well simply in the moments we didn’t see, and who even knows how many were caught in the radius of Shigaraki’s last attack.

Further, there may well have been a measure of organization bleed when the MLA became the PLF (though I imagine trying to leave was a very dangerous proposition, giving an additional reason to stick it out on top of the general cult-like mindset the MLA displays); likewise, I find it hard to believe that there wouldn’t have been some deaths at the Gunga Villa, be it from Gigantomachia’s departure, Geten cutting loose, or combatants—be they hero or comrade—overcompensating somewhat in the middle of a chaotic melee.

I suspect it’s overestimating the depletion, but for the purposes of simplicity, let us call it 115,000 remaining members at the time of the raid.[1]

We are told that, in all, 16,929 people were captured at the villa—just about 17,000. 132 escaped in the confusion; this is a fairly negligible number, save for the fact that it includes high-ranking advisors, but not Machia and those of the Front that were with him.

We are further told, and I quote, “Their bases scattered around the country were hit too, and the sympathizers rounded up.” Horikoshi did not provide any solid numbers for this,[2] but if we’re to assume that it is just the rest of the group (more on the logistics of that bit of spycraft later), “the sympathizers” would be 98,000 additional people.

However, 98,000 may be a significant underestimation. It’s based, after all, on a number Re-Destro cites to describe “warriors lying in wait, ready to rise to action.” This begs the question: is Re-Destro quoting the entire membership of the group, or only those who actually are ready to take action? In other words, does his number account for non-combatants? Is he counting young children? I tend to assume the MLA doesn't have a retirement age as such,[3] but if they do, does his number account for the elderly?

How many more people might be “sympathizers” to the PLF insomuch as they are e.g. the six-month-old infant daughter of an MLA couple? What about the ninety-year-old man in the retirement home whose only real act of war these days is tying up the phone line at City Hall to complain about repressive quirk use laws? How about the fired-up fifteen-year-old that was going to get their official code name next month, just in time to join the first wave of attacks? If he’s being literal in his usage of “warrior,” the actual count of the MLA could easily be twice as high as the number he actually gives.

But okay, maybe Re-Destro’s number does include absolutely everyone. Maybe he’s just being rhetorical—maybe, in his mind, even the six-month-old is waiting to rise to action; she’s just going to have to wait a bit longer than the rest, is all. For simplicity’s sake, let’s stick with the numbers we have: a low-end of 17,000, a high-end of 115,000, captured not merely in a single day, but allegedly in the span of a few hours.

I’m sure I don’t need to stress that that is a lot of people. But how many people is it, practically speaking? Is there a precedent? Anything we can look to for guidance on how this kind of thing would go in real life?

Comparative Analogues

The PLF is tricky to categorize for the purposes of real-life comparison, especially compared to how they’re treated in-universe. In some lights, they resemble a protest movement; in others, a terrorist group. Just looking at the way the government reacts to them—and certainly in terms of their combat capabilities—they might as well be an all-out insurrectionist uprising! Below, I’ll examine a handful of historical incidents that cover that spectrum; they will continue to provide useful reference points throughout the rest of this essay.

The March 15 Incident

In the first half of the 20th century, Japan saw a huge uptick in socialist and communist activity, much to the general dismay of the ruling powers. In response, they passed a series of laws commonly referred to as the Peace Preservation Laws, designed to better enable authorities to suppress political dissent and freedom of speech, particularly that of leftists and labor movements.

The Japanese Communist Party was founded in 1922, but outlawed in 1925. This merely drove members underground, however, from which position they pointed supporters towards the numerous other parties with more legally tolerated leftist policies that had cropped up in the wake of the JCP’s dissolution. Following the February 1928 General Election (the first in Japan held with universal male suffrage), those parties supported by the JCP saw enormous gains in representation in Japan’s National Diet. Alarmed, the Prime Minister declared the mass arrest of known communists and suspected communist sympathizers. Accordingly, on March 15, 1,600 people were arrested throughout Japan.

Over the course of twenty years, some 70,000 people would be arrested under the auspices of the Peace Preservation Laws, the majority of them in 1925 through 1936. The laws would eventually be repealed by American occupation forces after WWII, and the JCP allowed to operate openly once again.

The Rice Riots

In 1918, an inflation spiral had driven the price of rice out of control, exacerbating economic insecurity and hardship. Farmers were being paid a pittance of the market value of their crop by rice buyers and government agents, while urban consumers were being charged an exorbitant price for the staple food, as well as a great many other consumer goods, and their own rents. In response, a series of riots ripped across Japan in late July through September. Beginning with peaceful protesting in a small fishing town in Toyama Prefecture, the unrest escalated to involve riots, strikes, looting, even bombing in demonstrations that reached major cities like Tokyo and Osaka. The scope was and remains unprecedented in modern Japanese history, seeing some 25,000 people arrested.

The Sarin Gas Attacks

If you’ve heard of any of them, it’s probably this one. On March 20, 1995, members of the cult Aum Shinrikyo released sarin gas on five different Tokyo Metro trains in the middle of morning rush hour. Thirteen people were killed and over 5500 injured, about a fifth of them moderately to severely so. If not for small errors in the production of the gas and the rudimentary distribution method thereof, loss of life might easily have been catastrophically higher.

Aum Shinrikyo was a doomsday cult, but the motives for that particular attack were much baser than bringing about the Apocalypse: at the time, the organization was under police investigation for its involvement in the kidnapping of a public official. Its leader, Asahara Shoukou, hoped that the attack would divert police’s attention from a planned raid.

It did not do so; police executed raids on numerous of the cult’s compounds, arresting many of its senior members both immediately and over the course of the following months as the investigation unfolded. In all, over 200 members were arrested of an organization that counted its membership prior to the attack as numbering 11,000 people in Japan.[4]

The February 26 Incident

There have been a significant number of uprisings and violent protests in Japan’s modern history; when looking for a representative example, I focused my attention on the military coups of the 1930s and 40s, largely because they took place in what was closest to the modern Japanese legal context.[5] Of that subset, I chose the February 26 Incident for the severity of the government response. The others disintegrated before they could be properly carried out or were met with sympathy for the dissidents despite the obvious illegality of their actions. The February 26 Incident, however, was when they finally became too troublesome to dismiss, and the Emperor himself ran out of patience.

In this period, the Japanese military had become drastically factionalized into two main groups—an ultra-nationalist group, largely powered by a group of young officers, which supported the Emperor and wanted to purge Japan of Western influences, and a more moderate group mainly defined by their opposition to the above faction.[6] Occurring in 1936, the February 26 Incident involved the young officers, believing that they had tacit approval from higher-ranked officers of their own faction, launching assassination attempts against the nationalists’ most prominent enemies in the government (six assorted Ministers and former Ministers in the Emperor’s Privy Council and the Diet) and a bid to seize control of the administrative center of the capital and the Imperial Palace, after which they planned to demand the dismissal of more officers and the selection of a new Cabinet.

The seven ringleaders had convinced eighteen other officers to lend their forces to the attempted coup, a total of around 1,500 men, calling themselves the Righteous Army. Several of their assassination attempts failed, however, and while they succeeded at taking the Prime Minister’s residence and the Ministry of War, they did not manage to secure the Palace. The outraged Cabinet demanded the Emperor take a hard line with the rebels, and by the 29th, the Righteous Army was surrounded by 20,000 government troops and 22 tanks. In this hopeless situation, the officers dismissed their troops; two committed suicide (a third attempted it unsuccessfully) and the remainder were arrested by military police.

International Examples

For obvious reasons, I prefer to limit my examples to events that happened in Japan. However, I will also be briefly referring to a few international incidents of mass arrest, taking place in India, the U.S., and Egypt, respectively.

In the following parts, I'll use these facts and comparative analogues to take a closer look at what readers were told became of the Paranormal Liberation Front.

Part Two

-----------------------------------------------------

Footnotes (Part One)—

[1] Over three months’ time, they likely gained some new blood also, simply in the course of their usual recruitment tactics. You don’t get an underground organization that size by sitting back and waiting for people to come to you, after all. I don’t know a practical way to calculate that, though, so just bear it in mind for when I talk about new members later.

[2] Possibly because he was aware that 17,000 people captured in one fell swoop was difficult enough to swallow without adding on more than five times that number.

[3] We do, after all, see some very aged people fighting in the streets of Deika.

[4] They were considerably more international than you may have heard. They had 50,000 members at the time, some 30,000 of them based in Russia.

[5] The Meiji Constitution was ratified in 1889; universal suffrage (for men) was granted in 1925. The modern constitution was enacted in 1947.

[6] More moderate, mind, in the context of the Imperial Japanese military. Neither of these factions had any time whatsoever for leftist movements, hence all those suppressive crackdowns.

[my-sherlock221b]

Supernatural Rewatch Ramblings: Bloodlust

2020-21 has been a huge transformative time for many of us. Whether we wanted it or not, we have been forced to stop, switch gears, rethink, reflect, let go, make new priorities, discover who we really are and who we want to be in the face of adversity.

One of those transformations for me has been giving up on control and finding a way to surrender to the power of the universe. Another has been to not let perfection be the enemy of good.

You may well wonder---What does all this have to do with the Bloodlust rewatch and review??!

Probably nothing LOL except for the fact that I still have to write up my review on Bloody Mary and have been unable to write for various reasons. And then because the Bloody Mary review was still incomplete I could not write about the next one etc etc etc.

So when we watched Bloodlust two days ago in the continuing re-watch, I decided that I am going to re-start the review, and from exactly where I am right now!

If time and life permits I might fill in the gaps later. If not, well, life is unpredictable and weird and we keep calm as it carries on….Thank you for coming to my Philosophy talk….:)

Read below for the Boodlust  review, Season 2 episode 3 and look out for the post from @soulmates-for-real​ on this rewatch too!! 

The opening scene is the perfect switch and bait because we as an audience have been trained to latch on to types and identities and representations.

Woman in white night gown screaming and running--victim

Person who brutally beheads her—villain.

A few minutes into the episode we realize that we were wrong.

A good few minutes later we realize that we were wrong about being wrong.]

Haha.

We are idjits, swept away on the eddies and currents of this masterfully written and directed episode. Thank you Sera Gamble and Robert Singer!

The acting and the mesmerizing beauty of the two leads is worthy of an entire essay of its own but in order to have a life and finish this review I shall only say this—Oh my goodness HOW gorgeous is Jensen Ackles?!!

It is sometimes impossible to look at him in this episode because my eyes didn’t know where to land! That perfect face? The lips? Those eyes?? The quirk of the eyebrows? Those micro expressions that are constantly weaving across his face? The smile? The way his lips move when he talks?? His hair? The Samulet?

And then the shot pans out and includes his hand and the ring and honestly it’s a miracle I could follow the plot at all.

So the images I am going to include in this review, much as I love Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, are all of Dean Winchester. It’s a criminal waste to not do so when the man is just an ode to perfection.

*

Sheila O’Malley’s review of this episode is in itself a work of art and a thing of beauty so I will direct you most enthusiastically towards it and only add here my little pennyworth bits. Do click on this link but be prepared to sink into a one hour read which will make you feel like you were dropped into the episode itself.

https://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=87187

Here is a quote from her review which is so insightful.

These are the details that a director like Robert Singer never misses, and at this point his relationship with Ackles and Padalecki would be almost telepathic (it’s probably 100% telepathic now). He has said before that he and Kripke were such a good team because Kripke’s primary concern is Plot/Gore/Horror and Singer’s primary concern is Character/Relationship. And they both end up in the same place. It’s a good mix. If Singer were also Plot/Gore/Horror focused, we wouldn’t have the depth of relationship which is the real point of the show, its real hook.

*

For a much briefer and far less technically adept and analytical review, read on here!

*

The opening of this episode shows us the Impala from every possible angle. Gleaming, gorgeous, road -worthy. This is mirrored by Dean. He is also gleaming, gorgeous and roadworthy. He is in a happy mood that not even Sam’s little brother snitty comments can deflate.

Here is the soundtrack of this episode for those who are interested.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0835248/soundtrack

Here is some random but fun trivia:

Dean tells Sam in one scene "If it's     Supernatural, we kill it." One of the rare times the title of the     show is actually spoken in the dialogue.

This is the first episode where Sam began parting his     hair down the middle, the hairstyle he'd keep the rest of the series.

( I didn’t like his hair too much in this episode honestly but then again I could barely see anyone beyond Dean :D)

During the filming of this episode Jared injured his     hand when he fell badly during a stunt. He thought it was merely sprained     and went straight into filming the next episode without having it checked.     But it got more and more painful and finally he went to the doctor and     discovered that his hand was, in fact, broken. Because he had already     begun filming, he couldn't bandage the hand until filming for that episode     was finished. The writers ended up writing in an accident for Sam and his     line "I think she broke my hand" to explain the fact that for     the following few episodes he would be wearing a cast.

When Dean kills a vampire, blood is sprayed on his     face, mostly on his right cheek. In the next shot the pattern is     different, and notably the right cheek is almost clean. Furthermore, his     mouth was agape when he made the kill, risking the blood getting into his     mouth and turning him into a vampire. While the brothers didn't yet know     how a vampire is made at that point, Gordon did and should have been     alarmed that Dean might have gotten some of the blood in his mouth.

*

A random behind the scene shot from the episode:

Guess who she is? Apparently this is Jensen’s sister in a super brief role in Bloodlust!

* 

On to the review, or rather some of my thoughts during the re-watch.

The first scene with the Sheriff they are interrogating him about the cattle mutilations is hilarious. The way they bluff their way into the morgue is hilarious. Dean always leading and Sam following.

Random trivia: When Dean enters the morgue with Sam and sees the name tag of "J Manners", it has been thought the name was to honor Jeffrey Dean Morgan and series producer Kim Manners. Dean guesses "John" - Jeffrey's character name - and the intern corrects with "Jeff"

*

It a testament to the way Supernatural has trained its audience that we barely blink when they pull out a decapitated head in the morgue, squabble over who is more chicken, dig into the mouth and eventually discover vampire fangs.

Yes, of course they do.

*

Next scene: Two hot guys walk into a bar…..

…….where the adorable Benny, who is not Benny in this episode but a random dude ( spoilers—later we find out the dude is a vampire), gives them directions/ mis- directions to a possible vampire nest.

We see the first glimpse of Gordon Walker, amazingly played by Sterling K. Brown, and making us worry about and dislike him almost right away. The way he is shown with the light and shade bars on his face from the window blinds is so menacing.

The next few scenes continue to build that sense of unease where the Winchester brothers, apparently telepathically, decide to double back and catch him following them, then he shows them his car and his weapons, where he references their dad and then refuses their offer for help.

The scene where he shows them his car is like a painting. (The car by the way is just as inconspicuous as the Impala –which is to say NOT AT ALL!! How do these people stay below the radar of the regular law enforcement is a mystery….).

The dust highlighting the rays of light, the two brothers on one side of the car and Gordon at the other, it’s all so consciously set up for a few seconds worth of screen time. Impressive!

Next comes a truly brutal kill, at Dean’s hands, which we don’t even see except as a spray of blood on his face. Poetic! But it is Dean’s expression that makes my stomach clench. His eyes are dead and he is somewhere deep that even Sam can’t reach, as we can see from the distress on Sam’s face.

Gordon of course is all chipper and full of bonhomie and offers to buy them drinks.

That following scene is the one which gives Wincest brother-wives vibes like 100%.

*

Sam plays the role of the disgruntled ‘wife’ to perfection. No one but hubby is allowed to use the nickname. He hates the male bonding going on with Gordon and the more Gordon seems to slip into Dean’s inner circle, the more uncomfortable Sam gets, until he finally decides that he just cannot physically be there any more.

Dean’s smug expression when Sam tells Gordon off for calling him Sammy, his instant worry at Sam going back alone, his hand raised in exasperation to convey to Gordon—look what I have to put up with-- the tossing of the keys to his car----it is all a symphony of Dean playing his part in the brother-wives orchestra.

The last line?! ‘Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you later.’ And Sam’s expression at that? That’s exactly the way a bullying /abusive husband would react to a nagging wife who doesn’t like his toxic friends and wonders how he can be so blind as to not see them for the bad influence they clearly are.

( Bad Dean!!!)

Sam goes back to the motel and does his due diligence by checking with Ellen, gets kidnapped by vampires, released and on his return is disgusted to find Gordon inside their motel room.

*

The next scene is where Dean erupts, having clearly had enough of the shifting power dynamics between them over the evening. Sam has been silently judging him since the kill and Gordon has managed to ‘other’ Sam and make Dean feel validated in his own bloodlust as a hunter.

Dean clocks Sam one.

Wow. I did not see that coming. And what shocked me at this re- watch is that Sam just takes it.

Like an abused wife, he just takes it. Not only that, sometime later in the episode he tells Dean to hit him again if it is going to make him feel better.

NO Sam! NO!!! This is NOT healthy and this is NOT the way to deal….ugh. Sigh.

*

Then the second half of the episode swings in and the moral dilemma they face becomes clear when the victim and villain switch roles and Dean is shook enough to question his dad’s judgement!

Dean is still kind of trying to give Gordon the benefit of the doubt even though he sees him literally torturing the vampire. But of course all bets are off the instant he touches Sam. Dean pulls his gun on him. I was surprised that he didn’t shoot him just on principle later simply because he hurt Sam even if it was a small cut.

That is Dean’s definition of monsters-- Anything that hurts Sam. 😊

*

We don’t know it at this time, and spoilers ahead, but maybe Dean has been so annoyed and violent with Sam at the idea that he is standing up for MONSTERS is because he might also be one….and the way he looks at the end when he realizes that his whole life’s philosophy has been upended.

There are the details about the vampires who drink cattle blood so they don’t harm humans and therefore want to be treated as the good guys. Of course it is all about the inherent struggle between who you are and what you do—something that shows up hugely magnified in the later seasons when Sam is struggling with his own demon blood addiction and the knowledge of the demon blood inside him.

He needs desperately to believe in this as the utmost foundation stone of his life and its purpose—what you DO is more important than what you ARE!

So even if you are a monster, if you don’t behave like one—that is your redemption.

But it’s not just anybody whose faith he wants in his struggle to prove to himself that he is not a monster. He needs it from Dean.

Remember the dialogue from the panic room “Don’t you say that to me. Don’t YOU say that to me.”

And the fake voicemail set up by Zachariah exploits this at the time of the breaking of the last seal.

*

Of course he doesn’t know any of this yet, but that’s Sam fucking Winchester for you –always purer and better than his circumstances allow. Always struggling to do better, be better.😍

*

It is fascinating how the visuals and the roles these two play are of rugged handsome men, badass heroes-- Dean of course super macho role playing all the time. But there are so many layers upon layers and honestly if it wasn’t for Jared and Jensen’s fine nuanced and impeccable acting adding depth to the characters, the show would not have held our interest for this long.

We are shown Sam as the brains with his lore and research, but then in the very next episode (Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things), we see Dean connect dots faster than Sherlock Holmes.

Dean is shown as the instinctively violent one with the gun under his pillow, trigger happy, and in this episode even that brutal kill of the vampire on the docks. But then please remember the way Sam kills Gordon finally. Or the insane way he bites himself to get blood for drawing sigils. Or the way he just simply shoots the crossroads demon point blank!

We see Sam as the soft hearted one and he does rescue kids once in a while, but he is never shown to bond with them even a fraction of the way Dean does—so effortlessly. Also the ladies of course, all of whom have a soft spot for Dean. The exceptions being Sarah and Madison, both of whom completely ignored Dean. Oh and that doctor from Sex and Violence.

Dean has had his share of bad dates of course with Cassie, the woman who gave birth to his magical superfast growing daughter ( who was killed by Sam), and the whole Lisa arc, but somehow we are shown Sam as the one who is invested in relationships. Hello?! Sam was planning to marry Jessica without having told her a thing about his life while Dean told Cassie the secret as soon as he thought he was in love and wanted a relationship.

So anyway, just to say that a rewatch is so brilliant because we know more about them at this point than they do and the character arc is such a thing of beauty to see unfolding!

*

That last scene where Dean is in a thoughtful frame of mind, the sun is rising overhead ( as a metaphor for him seeing the light, maybe?)--that insanely gorgeous shot of Dean with the ring of fire and light and his absolutely perfect face in a close up…sigh.

Then he thanks Sam for pushing him to see this grey area and for the first time in that episode Sam finally smiles.

His big brother is back with him.

And then he commits to Dean too. Ah…how it warms my heart to hear this dialogue!

 DEAN I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.

SAM What do you mean?

DEAN Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM Okay.

DEAN What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...

SAM Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM You didn't kill Lenore.

DEAN No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.

DEAN Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a pain in my ass.

SAM Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

DEAN Thanks.

SAM Don't mention it.

Transcript here http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=2.03_Bloodlust_%28transcript%29

 Guess Sam does stick around for the next 15 years to be a pain in the ass 😊

Some quotes from the writers about this episode: 

·  "The episode was really about what Dean would become if he didn't watch out: that Gordon was Dean in ten years if Sam didn't ask the difficult questions and keep him from getting too militant." - Executive story editor Sera Gamble

· "We set out to create a monster episode where you weren't entirely sure whether these monsters should be killed." - Eric Kripke

· "For me, the show is at its best when the supernatural story reveals something new about the brothers, or forces them to change in some way. Sam and Dean's realization that they've basically been raised as 'monster racists' was really meaty stuff. Exploring these characters' flaws is just as important as showcasing their heroism - these are the things that make them human, that make us invest in them." - Raelle Tucker

Check out this site for more amazing trivia and stuff

http://www.jonescave.com/supernatural/Episode/Episode.php?s=2&e=3#PopCulture

I have already finished watching the next episode ‘Children’s Shouldn’t play with Dead Things’….so let’s hope I get around to writing a review sometime soon !

[jenivi7]

First Lines Tagging Meme

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TAGGED IN THIS TWICE!  Thank you @ink-flavored and @clyde-side !! (I almost just did this on my own too because I love babbling about my own fics...)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

Now pinned and under a cut because it became a really long, really good introduction to me and my stories! 

Hello!

Unnecessary and overly wordy introduction/personal musings: I love opening lines so much. When I worked at a bookstore, I used to open books and hardcore judge them on their first lines. I had barely any free time to read at that point so if it didn’t grab me in the first line or two, I put it back. The first Harry Potter book is actually in my pile of really good openers. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” (Subtle alliteration, HELLO??) So I'm super excited to see if my own first lines come even close to the standards that I apply to other people lol. MY OWN MONEY IS ON NO. I have the feeling that I'm so frantic trying to get the story down on paper before the good words disappear from my head that I'm not actually paying attention to the first line. BUT LET'S SEE, SHALL WE.

So just straight up going backwards, I've written and posted TWO BRAND NEW THINGS after being away from fandom almost entirely for 10+ years! They're drabble length but they're shiny and new! <3 (All available fics are linked!)

1. Tango:

She teaches them to dance so that they can dance with her but when Atem gets that mischievous smirk on his face and pulls Yugi into his arms, their bodies spark and the dance floor smolders at their heels.

(The fic is so short that this is a full 1/5 of it but actually, I think I crammed all the good stuff right into that first line. This already might be my favorite. Like it says there in the line itself, Puzzleshipping.)

2. No Betting:

Anzu sat at the kitchen table writing carefully calculated answers onto sticky notes before attaching them to a fourth-grade math worksheet.

(Peachshipping! This one doesn't pop off until about line five so here's the rest of that bit:)

She had the same arrangement with her spouse as most parents had. When the kids were good they were hers. When they were bad, they were his. And when they were winning at games because they picked up rules with uncanny speed and read their opponents with more insight than ought to be available to a child, they were definitely, definitely his.

3. If you wanted honesty that's all you had to say (working title):

When he realized that the figure sitting under the game shop display window and smoking wasn’t Ryou, the physical body response was as though it had discovered a coiled snake not two feet away.

(This one! It's a NEW half finished(?) WIP. I actually started this one before the drabbles but wanted to finish before posting it. Then it got out of hand, then work got out of hand, then I started a couple more projects and well. I keep putting words on it though and eventually there will be a Kleptoshipper that turns into Puzzle and Tender for your reading enjoyment. Also, fair warning - don't use song lyrics as a working title. Every time I look at the document I get the song stuck in my head.)

Now we have polished up reposts of old stories for their move to AO3, where I'll basically keep my master archive. Not full re-writes but I fixed a bunch of typos and awkward sentences and they're much stronger for it. Most of these are from a pairings contest way back when so LOTS of different pairings and lots of AUs!

4. Human:

It was like a bad noir, the thought crossed both of their minds.

(Scifi AU, Rivalshipping. That one's not bad for a first line. Actually no link at the time of writing cause the re-edit is going up in like, a half hour? an hour? a half day? It's my next project after finishing this, finishing up the edit and posting it on AO3. Now with link!)

5. Blood:

Fingers through midnight black hair, whispers in his ear, touches that sizzled along the skin, awakening nerves and senses. 

(Dungeonshipping, Pegasus x Otogi, vampires AU. Oh that’s a nice first line! <3)

6. Crazy for You:

The keys are too large and too heavy for the doctor more used to more modern facilities but she doesn't say anything, just follows the orderly as he pulls the large door open.

(Manipulashipping, Anzu x Marik, Psychward AU. Still one of my favorites from that era. Big bold warning though, THIS ONE CONTAINS NON-CON)

7. Finality:

“What are you doing here?”

“Saying goodbye.” Bakura’s translucent arms swept across the graveyard. “Is this not an appropriate place for it?”

(First two or so bits of dialogue as the first first is a generic question. You can tell this is one of the really old ones just by that but it's a sweet, sad little Tendershipper that still has a special place in my heart.)

8. Pieces of You:

Glitter caught the light, leaving shimmering trails in the air as it got everywhere.

(Glittershipping, Anzu x Kisara. Another one that's special to me. Kisara is my girl and my first writing muse. <3)

9. Cambodia:

“It was summer of fifty three...”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, it can't have been fifty three. You might be that ancient but I'm not. It must have been sixty three.”

(Jiishipping. Yes. Sugoroku x Arthur. HEY, IT CAME UP IN THE RANDOM DRAW FOR THE SHIPPING CONTEST OK. And my writer's brain hasn't backed down from a challenge yet... Another one that takes 4 lines to pop off but it's a good start. Actually, here's the rest of the bit just because I cannot get enough of these two bickering:)

“What do you mean it must have been sixty three? You don't even know what story I'm trying to tell.”

“Am I in it?”

“What?”

“So you're deaf now as well as daft? AM I IN IT?”

“Of course you're in it, y'old coot. Don't know why I'd tell a story without you in it when both grandkids are sitting here.”

10. Coffee and Cigarettes:

"Cigarettes and coffee? That's not a very healthy lunch." 

Mana crossed her legs and took a refined sip of her own coffee even as her company was not. 

(Mischiefshipping, Mana x Thief King Bakura. Oh this one I'm actually sad that it doesn't immediately sparkle in the first line cause it's one of my absolute favorites of everything I've written. And I think it's the only time I've ever written Mana but I LOVED IT AND HER. Oh no! I lied, I've written her at least one other time though I don't think that one quite captures her sheer chaos energy like this one does.)

11. A Million Missed Chances:

Somewhere along the line, someone made a choice.

(This one. THIS ONE. I think this is by far the most epic idea I've tackled. I still don't know if the sheer scale of the thing came across in the actual fic but in my head it was massive and I remember pounding away at my teeny tiny laptop late at night because the whole thing hit me maybe a day or so before the story was due for the pairings contest. We only had a week to write each fic and my really good ideas never came to me before the very last minute. T.T Conquestshipping, Mai x Valon.)

12. A Fear of Falling:

She drove.

Like she always did when something bothered her.

(Oh the first chapter on this is also one of the really ancient ones. Like one of the very first things I wrote. That first chapter really shows its age and is a little shaky but the others are better and the last one is what fits into the chorological order here. Polarshipping, Jou x Mai. One of my very first ships. Probably THE first actually <3)

13. What Our Creators Make Us:

"Well, well." The match flared, scattering dark shadows until it was blown out and the only light that remained was the red glow from the cigarette end. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

(Psychoshipping, Marik x Spirit of the Ring Bakura. With a bit of Bronze, Angst and Tender in the follow up. Old but I'm ridiculously proud of it, hence it's place in the master archive. Ahaha you can tell how old it is though by how clever I think I am. I thought it was funny to make my audience figure out who was talking and not reveal the characters for a good fourth to third of the fic. Ahhhhhhh. Sorry about past me.)

14. A Revolution of the Spirit:

It wasn't fair.  It just wasn't.

That they were close was understandable (you don't get much closer than sharing headspace) but that even now, after deals were made with gods, endless arguments, compromises and the ultimate guilt trip that he had only been a teenager when he willingly sacrificed himself for all of humanity, things she had only half seen and only partly understood even though they had all been there to witness, that even now Atem continued to invade Yugi's personal space as though he belonged there got on her nerves.

(Woah Nelly! That third sentence should probably be three, four and five. Even if I just split it in half we'd continue the pattern of things popping off in the fourth line. I think that's one pattern that's emerging! A really good bit takes me about four lines to set up and deliver! Oh, the challenge was Revolutionshipping, Anzu x Atem, but the fic is actually Spiritshipping, Anzu x Yugi x Atem.)

So confession time, I haven't been out of fandom completely, I just hadn't written my own standalone stories in a very long time. There are a few (ok ok more than a few) long-running rps that @miss-moberg and I have been adding to on and off over the years. I can't resist throwing in a couple of these.

15. Cafe!

The door shut behind them with the soft click of the latch and the exhale of a breath long held.

(This opening line was from December of 2020 when we rebooted a very old Prideshipper and that is a damn good opening line if I do say so myself. I can definitely see the difference now between the newer works and the older ones. I've gotten better, she's matched me pace for pace and eventually something will be finished, I'll work up the courage to ask permission to post it and the whole internet will get to see how brilliant the two of us are together.)

16. Treasure Hunt!

"Ryou, I think you're going to regret letting me tag along on your adventuring this time."  Yugi didn't bother turning away from the airplane's tiny window to see if his seatmate was paying attention.  He was more thinking out loud with his friend playing the role of a convenient sounding board.  "Because I think this trip is the only thing I'm going to talk about ever again."

(One more from RP because it's got that fun, four line punch that we've discovered is a pattern for me! Opening entry is from 2017.)

Also, in truth, my count is a little off when I say I'd been out of fandom 10+ years. I've been away from YGO for that long but I did spend a brief stint in Homestuck where I read a ton of fanfic, flirted with a couple group RPs and even wrote a tiny bit. 9 years without writing a new fic isn't as impressive as saying ‘over a decade’ but it is a little more accurate.

17. What You Will:

In the land of fair Illyria, along a small, sandy stretch of its rocky shore, a ship has come to ruin and one lone woman lies still as death among broken wood.

(The beginning of a Homestuck/Twelfth Night crossover that I'm still determined to work more on someday. It's only got a single chapter but it's magic though now I'm concerned about not being able to recapture that. Not a bad first line though. The style is so different it took me reading it a couple times before going, oh yeeeeeah, that's pretty good!)

18. Relentless:

You pull him to the deck and then across it by the remains of his shirt. Let him say one last goodbye. His ship pillaged, his crew murdered, his hands bound behind his back and at your mercy.

Funny word, that. Mercy.

(The first line is pretty decent but there's that four line combo again! Five but I could basically fix that with a comma. Featuring the troll ancestors Mindfang and Dualscar because every time Hussey introduced new characters they were instantly my favorite.) 

19. Black:

There is dark and there is dark and there is dark and then there is black. She is black. Licorice and coal. She is hate and resentment and everything that tastes bitter, the kind of black that coats the tongue like oil, drips down the back of the throat and keeps going.

(Oh wow. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? A Terezi/Vriska drabble that I'm putting as much here as I think I can get away with because it's so good that it fucks me up a little going back and reading it.)

And here it gets tricky because I think the more recent of the old, old fics are in the Drabbles and Shorts collection on ff.net and I can't see a post date. So I'll just pick a good one to end on.

20. Two Princes:

It was inevitable as the rising of Ra's chariot after a long night, as the flooding of the river banks every spring, and Atem always knew that Yugi's kiss would be as warm and gentle as the evening breeze in the summer that brought relief from the scorching day. It was.

(How about the final honor going to more Puzzle/Blind? This probably has the strongest first line of its era. Actually I'm not sure when it was written. It was just hanging out in my writing folder and, thinking about it, I probably wrote it when I was fading from fandom the first time around but still trying to hang in there. No wait! That’s too sad, we can’t end on that! Lets add one more to the list for the sake of personal narrative!)

21. Linger:

The world doesn't need him anymore. It doesn't need his sword and it doesn't need his pen.

(A tiny Princess Tutu afterward that I wrote for myself. Nice one-two punch in the opener. Also it rounds out the personal story that accidentally developed here with a line later in the fic, "Words, however, never stray far from a good writer..." Like, wait, stop. Past me, how did you know T.T)

Did that take a sudden emotional turn for anyone else or was that just me. Can I offset that a little with an honorable mention? Let’s do that while I collect myself. Here’s one more.

Honorable mention: Ryou and the Thief

There was a storm gathering and too much magic in the air. Much more than occurred naturally and magic at this level was never a good thing.

(I can’t have a list of things I’ve written without having Ryou and the Thief on it. If you click on this one though, BEWARE, it’s old, it’s silly and it has a ton of explicit gay sex that… would be written very differently if we were handling it today I’m sure! This is the first RP @miss-moberg and I ever did together and our excuse to Gemship and Puzzleship turned into us running the boys through a whole adventure based on the Osiris myth. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever completed and I’d still consider it kind of my legacy.)

And that’s the last 21(+1!) stories that I’ve written! 

The clear winner of best first line for me is 15. Cafe! It’s short, elegant and manages to contain a whole mood even without the context of what’s going on and who’s involved. (Spoilers: It’s Seto and Mokuba making an AU escape from Gozoboro.) Close second is Tango, the most recent story. It’s neat to see just how much better I’ve gotten and also really cool to see that even if the first line itself doesn’t contain a punch, it’s usually because there’s a nice, strong idea being set up and delivered in the first four lines (or so). What a pleasant surprise!

AND WOW, this whole tag thing didn't need to be so long! Or personal! Seriously, if you get this tag from me the challenge is only to list the first lines to 20 stories and maybe try to draw one or two conclusions from them. You all thought I was joking when I said I loved talking about my own writing! But actually, I guess it’s fine like this as I ended up using it as a way to re-introduce myself. Like, "Hey, I used to live here a long time ago and oh my god I love what you've done with the place!" Rather than being someone who's just popped up out of nowhere a few weeks ago to creepily bother all your best of the best creators so....

^///^ Hello!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Tags! I think I've seen most of the authors I follow do this already but on the off chance you haven't been tagged yet: @elexica (checked your blog to see if you'd already done the tag and saw that you're another person returning to writing fanfiction after 10+ years. Same! Hello!!), @danieco, @draconicmaw, @nedjemetsenen (has someone tagged you already?) and two shots in the dark, @miss-moberg and @edmondia (I'm so sorry you two. T.T Please feel free to block me forever.) And please, anyone else who wants to babble about their own writing! Do this, it was so much fun. <3

[the-boys-from-ba-sing-se]

Top 5 fics of 2020!

Tagged by @khashanakalashtar to post my five favorite works I made this year.

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works  you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them  below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1: The Sun Will Be Guiding You

Spymaster Sokka

This was the first fic I made for this fandom, and it’s without a doubt the thing I have put the most effort into. My longest ever fic, my most coherent plot (though it was mostly stolen of course!), my first proper fight scenes, my first fic with chapter titles, my first time working with beta readers, the whole shebang. I also received so much lovely feedback from readers, and I have to say it is gratifying to be on the other side of the frustrated angst-related screaming every once in a while!

2: Plum Blossom [Podfic] (by @zukkaclawthorne)

Hanahaki AU

While this is not the first or the best podfic I have made for this fandom, it is probably my favourite. This was recorded on my phone, and the first time I uploaded it I accidentally left a few mistakes in and didn’t find out for over a week until I was listening back to it in the kitchen! I was mortified and quickly edited and reuploaded it, but not before over 100 people had streamed and downloaded it. I read this fic just before going back to uni in September, and the intensity of emotions hit me so hard, I knew I wanted to inflict it on other people! This is probably the first fic in which I successfully managed to distinguish between characters’ voices, and the fic in which I solidified my characterisation of Zuko. This slightly came back to bite me in the arse in the sections with heavy dialogue between Zuko and Toph, because having to switch rapidly between a deep chest register and a high chest register was pretty straining! I guess I only have myself to blame, and I’ve definitely improved since then.

3: Locked down with you ain’t so bad

Quarantine fic

I couldn’t not include this fic on the list. It has been literal years since I had sudden writing inspiration strike in the middle of the night and I had to type something out rapid-fire on my phone, but that’s exactly what happened. As some of you may remember, back in mid-September I was having a crisis as I found myself in the middle of slow-burn friends-to-lovers fanfic trope with my best friend and housemate, and I proceeded to yell about it all over discord. Then, probably to no one’s surprise but my own, I ended up with a girlfriend and a happy ending. Of course I ended up writing aboiut it, and this fic is a pretty much entirely faithful re-telling of the events that led to my relationship, but with Zukka instead, of course.

3.5: You Okay?

Post-quarantine smut

This is of course the PWP sequel to the above fic, hence the 0.5 numbering! It was, up until about a week ago, my A:tLA fic with the most hits (now overtaken by TSWBGY), you dirty little freaks. I actually wasn’t going to put this on the list, because while it is my own writing, it’s not exactly high art, but then I remembered, fuck you, I do what I want. Also, this fic has been pretty important to me in its own way. This was my first time writing (serious) smut, and while this fic is not directly autobiographical, I do just like soft Sokka being the Consent King.

4: Baby Hotline, please hold (me close to you) [Podfic] (by @engagedzukka)

FBI Zuko

I love this fic so much. I have probably re-listened to this podfic the most out of all my podfics (yes I listen to my own work, there’s not a lot else out there, someone else please make some more podfics!). Again, this is one of my earlier podfics, but at this point I was using a proper microphone rather than recording on my phone, and the difference in sound quality is very noticeable. Shoutout to my housemate (cast as Toph in my lockdown fic!) for lending me their mic! I think I managed to get the tone of this one down pretty well, and it’s probably the fic I had the most genuine fun recording and putting together.

5: Boy Problems [Podfic] by burnt_oranges

Arranged marriage/misunderstandings

This is my most popular podfic. It doesn’t have the most hits on Ao3, it’s actually sixth down, but it has almost twice as many streams and downloads than most of the ones above it on Ao3. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but it’s probably good, so thank you! It’s my longest one-shot podfic, and I recorded it in one day, over two sittings. Ouch! This is also the fic where I fully committed to giving OCs regional accents lmao. Bear witness to my shame as I attempt to make Zuko’s assistant/bodyguard Welsh and the noodle shop owner generic Scottish.

@ohmyzukka, @khaleeseas, @bisexual-atla, @jetruvius (any of y’all), @zukkaclawthorne, @macdenlesbian, @theobliviouswriter, @sword-over-water go!

[ilkkawhat]

fav fic titles

[Rules: List your 20 favorite fic titles, whether they're story titles or chapter titles!  They can be funny, creative, eye-catching, whatever makes them your best.  :)  If you don't have 20 favorites, or don't have 20 stories, just do however many you want!]

tagged by @impossiblepluto and believe or not, 237 fics and I really don’t have many.

1) Half Past Midnight - my first re-emergence into writing and publishing CSI fic after many, many years (though honestly I don’t count a lot of my teenage stuff cause it was hot garbage anyway) and I didn’t actually even notice until I think I posted the first or second chapter that technically, when the team is watching the feed for the first time, it is a little half past midnight so. that was just cool to sort of subconsciously gather lmao

2) The All In series: Atrophy, Agony, Augury - Alliteration, pure and simple lmao very satisfying and esp in my most recent graphic series for it. It’s all about that Suffering

3) Agony Ch. 26: Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve - The longest I’ve written for any of my multi-chaps to date, this chapter means a lot to me on so many levels and I feel like it’s title is due in part to my own bout of agony going on with some pretty severe depression so. Yay self projection

4) Specimen Stokes & its chapter titles - Even before the shrinking twist I was giddy about dubbing Nick a “specimen” just for the like. idk, human experimentation aspect and because he’s super hot. The chapter titles are all composed of things you’d find in a lab which has actually started to become a little tricky for me (and I super want to name this one chapter “Feed My Frankenstein” but it’ll break the trend lol) but I had a dream recently about a chapter called “scissors” and I know exactly what would happen in it. Whether that’ll be this story or the sequel, I’m stoked.

5) First Flight - It originally had a double meaning but I scrapped half of the fic’s plot for reasons but recently I figured out how to restore that double meaning with a brand new twist that wasn’t necessarily gonna happen. I also have a tentative chapter called “no cake in the breakroom” that’s gonna be the most angsty, gut wrenching thing I ever write and I’m weirdly excited for it

6) Finder’s Fee - Out of all of my episode-related titles I actually think I like this one the most? and by that I mean where I either twist the name of the episode (i.e, Assume Nothing > Everything Assumed) or take a line from the episode as the title. This was another “means a lot to me” fic too (coughSelfProjectioncough)

7) For Your Viewing Pleasure - Okay this was another episode related one and I just like it cause it was a super underrated creepy ass line in Grave Danger and I wrote an entire fic about it in a week. out of nowhere.

8) Last Breath & its chapter titles - Mostly composed of song titles, I tried to choose things that would kinda give a clue/set the tone for the chapter. I’m a sucker for Evanescence’s knack for angst in their lyrics lmao

9) Hollow Heart & its chapter titles (specifically “The Rescue”) - My first lemon fic! Angsty lemon!!!! Really kinda harder on the angst than the lemon aspect esp since I’m (still) not that good at writing smut but! I thought it turned out pretty good.

10) Stone Heart - Grave Danger AU, so naturally love it because of that, but it’s a reference to the lyrics of Outside Chance and something I actually want to get tattoo’d some day (I’m thinking a tattoo of the tape recorder, a pair of glow sticks, and a ribbon that reads “stone heart” on it)

I swear I do actually love more of my fic titles but these were the ones that resonate with me right now.

Also bonus, some titles of unreleased fics (subject to change) mainly just an excuse to gush over my WIPs that I actually have a name for cause otherwise I legit have documents titled “shock waves word vomit” or “attempt at writing word vomit hospital meat jekyll shit::

Bonus #1 The Violence in the Pouring Rain - Nick/Naomi (OC), one of my favorite uses of lyrics from Halsey’s “Hurricane” cause yeah. They’re trapped in a hurricane. Also a dream fic.

Bonus #2 Augury Ch. 1, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight - I’m gonna be taking a real dangerous leap with this chapter into a territory I’ve never written before and feel a little idk not uncomfortable but just. worried about doing BUT...I feel like it’s gonna be one of my best in terms of build up and action and how the chapter ends. (and if you’ll notice, I used that song for the “trailer” I made even though I gotta finish Agony first LMAO)

Bonus #3 The Pancho Problem/The Sanders Solution - The Pancho Problem was one of the earlier CSI fics I posted when I started publishing in 2018/2019 but unfortunately I had a moment of weakness and deleted what I had going for it. I do want to revisit it one day and re-work what I thought was wrong and one of my chapter titles for the Pancho Problem was “The Girl with the Flower Tattoo” which at the time, I thought was fucking amazing.

Bonus #4 The Beast You Made of Me: More Nick in captivity, but think of The Most Dangerous Game for the human hunting aspect, and idk other creepy shit like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for torture. Basically I’m gonna make Nick into a feral human beast by the end of it. With long hair and a scraggly beard. And literal shit thrown at him. Eventually finds his way home after a full on YEAR to find out...he doesn’t have one anymore.

Bonus #5 The Day the World Went Away: The assclowns haunted mansion fic I promised for years lmao. Combining inspiration from Twin Peaks, Silent Hill and my own dreams, I hope it ends up being done in time for this year’s Halloween lmao (or earlier)

Bonus #6 Nick + Jack + Nick: DaltonStokes + Nick Corelli. Cause we need to give Nick Corelli some love dammit.

[palimpsessed]

So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Prinxiety: A Beginner’s Guide

Hello, and welcome to the Sanders Ships: A Beginner’s Guide series! 

Back when I was new to the shipping world, I had no way of knowing where to go. Heck, I didn’t even know multi-shipping was allowed. 

This led to me rushing headlong into AO3 like a blind rhinoceros, and accidentally discovering some fun treats, like an E rated Padme/Jar-Jar fic that single-handedly peeled away what was left of my soul like an orange rind. 

Anyway, things that haunt my nightmares aside, I kind of wish I’d had some sort of guide to the ships of the week and their flavors! And I’m currently obsessed with Sanders Sides, so that’s what this series is going to be about.

I’ll be discussing the ships based off of Canon Moments, Popularity and Reputation, Fanon Interpretation, and Acclaimed Fics, as well as providing some links to fan-art.

And now, without further ado, PRINXIETY!

Canon Moments: 

Prinxiety is one of the larger ships largely due to the abundance of Canon Moments. Here are some highlights*:

Roman: If you had to have a New Year’s Resolution, what would it be?Virgil: Probably to find darker eyeshadow to match my soul.            Roman: You are an emo nightmare.                                                      Virgil [taking it as a compliment: Thank you.                                              (A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!!, 6:26.)

Pretty much their entire sinking out scene in The Dark Side Of Disney (beginning at 5:14)

And the end-credit scene of The Dark Side Of Disney (5:45)

Pretty much all of The Dark Side Of Disney, to be honest.

Roman: What’re you laughing at, Hot Topic?                                              Virgil: Aww, you think I’m hot.                                                                      ALLOW ME TO REPEAT THAT                                                                  Virgil: Aww, you think I’m hot.                                                            (This momentous event occurs during Alone On VALENTINE’S DAY!, 7:34)

The end credit scene of Alone On VALENTINE’S DAY!, beginning at 8:18. THEY HOLD HANDS.

Roman calls Virgil his “Chemically Imbalanced Romance” at 1:07 of Am I ORIGINAL?

Yogurting                                                                                                       (Am I ORIGINAL?, 3:52)

“You’re just too darn cute!”                                                                            (Making Some Changes!, 6:14)

Everyone Loves The Villain, the figurehead of this ship.                       (Becoming a CARTOON!, 5:23)

Roman: Anxiety is the fairest of them all!                                                     (Becoming a CARTOON!, 7:28)

Roman’s “You Make Us Better” speech in Accepting Anxiety Part 2            (7:07)

“You...rescued me!”                                                                                      (Accepting Anxiety Part 2, 8:35)

MOVING ON, Part 1, 12:28 (it’s an overlooked one, but a good one)

Roman’s FACE when Virgil sings his line in The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! (8:46)

When Virgil tells Roman that no one hates him in Learning New Things About Ourselves (28:12)

When Roman says that making fun of things is how he shows his love in the first Sanders Asides and then you re-watch everything and scream internally because he’s in love with Virgil (and also Logan, but that’s another story for another day)

Finally, Sally’s Song existing on Virgil’s playlist (although that has also been interpreted as Anxceit).

Popularity and Reputation:

Prinxiety is the #1 most popular ship in this fandom at 4,200 fics on AO3 (the runner-up is Logicality at 3,331 fics). 

The combination of Prinxiety and Logicality are considered the biggest ships of Sanders Sides. They’re often the first ships to be shipped for a new fander as well as the overall most popular.

As with any popular ship, there are people who will dismiss it as “basic”. Though it is often the first step in a fander’s shipping journey, some people will choose it as their only step, and that’s fine! 

Pizza’s a basic food too. Pizza’s also a gift from the heavens! (Although if you don’t like pizza, that’s okay too. Don’t harass people for liking or not liking pizza, kids.)

Fanon Interpretation:

Here’s the Fanon Recipe™️

3 cups of Rivals To Friends To Lovers

1 1/2 tablespoons of Nicknames (additional witty banter can be added, it’s up to taste and how witty the author is feeling (by which I mean “Did The Author Get Enough Sleep”))

1/4 teaspoon of Height Difference (can be for either of them, often Virgil)

2 teaspoons of Watching/Debating Disney Movies Together (add Virgil bringing up Black Cauldron and Roman laughing about how much of an emo nightmare he is to taste)

A couple pinches of One Is Popular And One Is Not (be warned: this is a volatile ingredient. Use with caution. Or just toss an entire container of it in, because it’s fanfic and there are no rules)

Add Belief That Their Love Is Unrequited Due To Misunderstanding to taste

Acclaimed Fics:

When I say “Acclaimed”, I mean that these are the fics that have received the most public approval. That doesn’t necessarily mean that any of these fics are better than less recognized fics (they could be, but that’s unconnected to the public viewing). 

Anyway, these are the five most kudoed fics!

#5, Keep him Safe: This fic seems to be some kind of detective au based off of the description. At least, there’s definitely crime involved. 

It is 34 chapters long and a work in progress that was last worked on on May 12th.

IT IS RATED E, KEEP THIS IN MIND. I have not read the fic, only the summary and tags, and so cannot tell you exactly why it is rated E. However, I can tell you that it is tagged with Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Abusive Relationship, and Rape/Non-Con Elements. 

Basically, proceed with caution. Read it HERE

#4, To Make A Home: This seems to be a high school AU.

It is 29 chapters long and a work in progress that was last worked on on August 22nd.

It is rated M. Keep this in mind. It is tagged with warnings for Eating Disorders, Minor Character Death, Car Accidents, Panic Attacks, Underage Drinking, and Attempted Sexual Assault. Keep these in mind.

I’ll also note that it’s tagged as Angst, yes, but also Angst With A Happy Ending. 

Read it HERE

#3, Powerless: I have to say, this fic kind of has a reputation as The Fic of this fandom. And you know what? It deserves the title.

Sorry. As someone who’s supposed to be presenting fics based on acclaim instead of quality, I should be objective. But it’s just....it’s stuck with me.

Anyway, it’s a Superhero AU where approximately 0.04% of the population doesn’t have superpowers. Surprise, surprise, a good chunk of the main characters are Unabled. 

It’s 21 chapters long and a completed work. It is rated T. 

Read it HERE 

#2, Probable Theorem: Read it HERE, this fic is a sequel to the #1 fic on this list, which is [drum-roll please]

#1, A Lesson In Practicality: This fic is also a Superhero AU (those are a bit of a theme for this ship).

It’s 25 chapters long, and a completed work. 

It is rated T, and tagged with Graphic Depictions Of Violence.

There’s some Logicality on the side, and it’s the slowest of burns.

Read It HERE

Fanart

Here’s some links to fanart**!

FANART, FANART, FANART, FANART, FANART, AND MORE FANART!

In conclusion, Prinxiety is a widespread ship with lots of canon moments and a fun rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, buy Prinxiety today!

*All of these are more shippy when watched than when transcribed. Thomas is very good at showing emotions in his face.

**I wrote this fairly quickly, and so have not contacted the artists of these works of art. If you find your fanart on this post and would like it removed, tell me and I’ll remove it, no questions asked.

[bearly-writing]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by the amazing @scandalsavagefanfic you can read her post here!

(Also sorry for any weird formatting in this. Unfortunately I have to post this on mobile).

Name(s): BearlyWriting

Fandoms: Almost entirely Batfam/DC. I did write quite a few Voltron fics and do have a couple more that I’m planning to write left over from my BTHB but I doubt I’ll do much more in that fandom.

Where you post: AO3, although I usually post a link here on tumblr as well! I suck at remembering to do that though.

Most popular one shot (by kudos):

Overall: Bite the bullet

From this year: Suffer the Little Children

Most popular multi-chap (also by kudos):

Overall: where have all the young men gone

From this year: also where have all the young men gone (I’ve only had my AO3 account for two years haha)

Favourite story you’ve written so far: This is such a hard question! I would say Kiss with a fist is probably my all time favourite. It’s the first longer fic I did and I really enjoyed writing it! Bite the bullet (linked above) is also one I really enjoyed writing and it got a great reception. I’ve probably re-read where have all the young men gone (also linked above) the most and it was another long fic that I’m really proud of. I also really love Beneath the Hood - I need to write more Bruce/Clark. This got kind of long but to be honest I like almost all of my fics! I’m definitely a self-indulgent writer.

Fic you were nervous to post: I don’t normally get that nervous about posting fics but I guess with any fic I’m writing in response to a prompt (BTHB and DC kinkmeme usually) I do worry a little about whether the original prompter will like it. I was a little nervous about Take my whole life too because it was the first really explicit fic I did. I suppose I was nervous about Kiss with a fist because it was my first longer fic - I was a little worried it wouldn’t get any feedback and I’d be posting into the void haha.

How do you choose your titles: Uh not easily. I’ve only ever had an idea of what I want to call it early on with a couple of fics (Suffer the little children and where have all the young men gone stand out to me). Otherwise I just pick whatever’s on top of my head when I think about the vibe or content of the fic which is why some of my titles are so shitty.

Do you outline: Not really. I’m definitely more of a pantser than a plotter. I usually have a vague idea of what I want to do with a fic and roughly where each story beat will fall but I never have it fully planned out.

Complete: 32 on AO3 but a couple of them are likely to be continued. I have two fics completed for an event that I haven’t posted yet as well.

In progress: On AO3 only 2 of my fics are officially WIPs, although two or three of the completed ones might get continuations. Not on AO3? Probably about 10 although it could be more - my organisation is shocking.

Coming soon/not yet started: I actually do intend to finish my BTHB card at some point so I still have a bunch of them to do. I have about 3 kinkmas treats that I haven’t started yet that I’d definitely like to get done. I’m planning to do some fics for some other events too but I haven’t even started to think about those yet!

Prompts: As I said I still have a bunch of BTHB prompts in my inbox that I need to clear out! I’m open to prompts but I have a lot of fics that I need to get out of the way before I’d have a chance to do them. If my schedule ever clears up a little I’ll definitely make a post asking for some!

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I’m really excited about some of the kinkmas fics I’m writing! This is the first exchange I’ve been a part of so I’m super excited to see everyone else’s hard work too! There are a couple of other fics that I’m excited to post too but they probably won’t see the light of day for a while.

I’m tagging people I don’t think have been tagged before - no pressure if you don’t want to do your own though! And if anyone else sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged! @sun-moon-stars-jedi @gavotteandgigue @elidebrey @nightwang96

[stxphxn-strange]

First Line Meme !

(except let’s be real probably 90% of the lines are gonna be from the same AU which you should definitely read)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag your favorite authors! ty for the tag @stark-strange-love2 💓 tagging @chocopiggy and @taruyison and whoever else wants to join

1. “Pepper you’re so amazing... you’re a godsend” (truth tea)

2. “Good evening, Doctor.” ([no] rest for the innocent)

3. The past few days had seen Anthony waking up early, both to get some things done before the day really started and to take some extra time for himself. (you and i? we’re good together)

4. Anthony yawned, leaning his head against Stephen’s shoulder. (i’d love it if we made it)

5. Today felt like the world’s longest deja vu episode. (spun sugar)

ok now things get dicey bc i don’t remember my most recent stories in order, so i’m j gonna share another 5 i kinda like

6. Stephen was hit with overwhelming relief when he finally got home, the clock singing her melodic chimes to announce the changing of the hour. (human error/i don’t expect perfection)

7. Stephen could tell, even without seeing his boyfriend’s expression, that Anthony was lost in thought. (you don’t have to hurry, you don’t have to try)

8. Technically it wasn’t the 18th anymore. (it is your birthday.)

9. Of course they could talk without saying anything out loud. (will you hold this? [it’s my heart])

10. In a disorderly clump, the entire friend group as well as various other family members and friends (of both brides) walked to the outdoor venue. (what? a beautiful wedding? pt. 4)

i tend to start my fics w dialogue and in the middle of a conversation, so i guess that counts as in medias res, but i also kinda like to start with a character reflecting on whatever they’re going through, idk. of this list, i think my favorite opening is today felt like the world’s longest deja vu episode from “spun sugar” just bc it’s a little dramatic and i think it kinda sets up the rest of the story (all 19 pages of it) p well? 

also yeah i just didn’t want to post 20 but i do want to share some things i’m working on, so here are some opening lines from 5 WIPs (idk if all of these are gonna be written, i’m working on what now? and confusion in tandem bc i might combine them, fun fact)

1. “it’s a nice day, seasonal allergies aside” (pending title: what now? i just can’t figure it out)

2. “Tony, you told me you were going to wait for me after lunch!” (pending title: your majesty, oh wait you dropped this King)

3. “Can I bug you for just a minute, I have a really quick question.” (pending title: confusion)

4. The stakes were higher than ever before, the pressure to succeed and the unwillingness to fail were locked in battle, and everything was upside down. (pending title: why did you deceive me?)

5. The first time Sam met shrimp gremlin villain!stephen was way before stephen left the avengers and even before stephen joined them. (pending title: a new beginning)

[faejilly]

I was tagged by @la-muerta​ & @facialteeth​ & @thedivinemissema​ for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN  by @shadoedseptmbr​ @msviolacea​ & @ravenclawnerd​ for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic  au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

[bettsfic]

Hey! I was just wondering if you would soapbox a little about your creative process. I absolutely adore your writing advice but was wondering a bit more about how your ideas form and how you choose which to pursue and do finished products look like you want them to? What's a bad habit you're trying to break? No obligation to answer, especially cause an anon is like tell me your secrets! But thank you for all you've written, you are so helpful and kind

thanks for the great question anon! i wrote a bit about my drafting process here but that doesn’t encompass the idea building side of things (also i’ve made some changes to the process so i was thinking about writing a more cohesive, updated version at some point).

i tend to think of project ideas as piles of aesthetic, and usually i only begin writing once the pile has toppled over and i can’t not write it. that’ll make more sense in a moment. 

i’ll walk through 2 examples of my idea generating process, from how they started to where they are now. 

1. Vandal

Vandal is a novel i’m working on that i really have a lot of hope for. i’m about 60k words in right now and 75% finished. it’s about a teenage girl (sierra) who casts a spell on her hot, helpful neighbor (frank) to bind them together. the spell ends up working but backfiring when he becomes her foster father. then, in his custody, sierra gets jealous and casts a spell on his girlfriend (jenny) to break them up, but that backfires too: sierra gets taken out of frank’s custody and placed with a manipulative and abusive foster brother (leo). frank more or less kidnaps sierra and they have to Run From The Law. throughout the novel, sierra is inwardly battling Vandal, an immortal archangel that has possessed her and is trying to get her to kill herself so he can break free of the prison of her body.  

the idea for that story has a looooong breadcrumb trail and a huge aesthetic pile. since i couldn’t manage to get Baby traditionally published, i had a lot of that dynamic i could adopt into something else. i wrote at length about where that idea came from but i can no longer find that post (UPDATE: here it is). it’s somewhere in my training wheels tag. in short, i spent an entire summer watching/reading age gap stories and the male perspective in them bothered me a lot, so i wanted to write a story from the younger party’s perspective, and do the reality of those situations justice. i wrote that story, though, so i didn’t want to rewrite it. 

then, in december 2019, for reasons i don’t remember, i started reading snape/hermione fics. i really liked the dynamic, but it was a little too angsty for me, and none of the fics gave me the catharsis i was looking for, which was basically Grouchy Soft Boy Takes Care Of PTSD Weary Girl. being unable to find anything that fit the exact no-conflict, angstless dynamic i was looking for, i decided to write it myself using an A/B/O reylo idea i’d been kicking around for about 8 months but i could never land on, because i didn’t know if i wanted ben or ren. that fic turned out to be Reclaimed.  

to answer one of your questions, Reclaimed didn’t turn out the way i wanted it to at all, and i’m still kind of shocked by the traffic it has. i felt bad about writing it, because i was setting down so many other things to work on it, and it was a struggle from start to finish. at the time (and this is a major theme of my process), i thought it was a waste of energy.

but it opened a very important thematic concept to me, which is the idea of voicelessness and trauma, and recovery through finding one’s voice.

fast-forward to february, i’m headcanoning with @star-sky-earth just days before i have to head to nebraska for a writing residency. she and i are talking about a certain male celebrity who shall not be named, flirting with his younger female costar who shall not be named, and i said something along the lines of, “wouldn’t it suck to get a crush on a dude like him, only to find out he likes you back, and then you realize he’s actually kind of shallow and boring?”

i remember distinctly saying, out loud, “god fucking dammit,” because, right then, an aesthetic pile had toppled over, and an entire novel unfolded itself in my brain. i pound out an outline. it’s garbage. i play around with a vocal gauge. it’s not quite right. then, two days later, i write an opening scene that i don’t think is great but i send it to some people and they’re like, oh this is fire. 

the aesthetic pile looks like this:

lolita, where dolores is the one in control

delusions of grandeur born from a major traumatic event

obsessions with fairy tales and the escapism they provide

the consequences of extreme neglect

forced voicelessness as both a theme and a major structural constraint

a lot of wolf imagery

non-chronological timelines

i proceed to spend the next two days driving across the country brain-writing. by the time i reach nebraska, i hit the ground running, and write for basically 30-40 hours a week for 5 weeks. then, because pandemic, i decide to stay 2 more weeks, but i hit a snag. i write about 14k of really boring drivel and realize my outline has failed me. i toss the 14k and re-outline and try again. then, my attention is rattled by a crush on a composer who has no interest in me. 

i go home and fall into my annual summer depression and i lose focus. so, that’s where i’m at. i really miss vandal but it’s gotten super dark and i’m finding it difficult to manage darkness with everything going on. which brings me to my next aesthetic pile that has recently toppled over.

2. Eden

that’s not the title but it’s the project name. i’ve begun writing a YA sci fi comedy with an ensemble cast. this aesthetic pile took years to build before it toppled. it started with Elixir of Erised, hands down the best fic i’ve ever written by a huge margin. i reread it this past winter and was kind of amazed i’d written it. 

i really liked the idea of a potion showing you your deepest desires, but until recently have not had the patience to build an entire world around it. so, for the past 3.5 years, i’ve kept a document of “if i WERE to a YA SFF book with the themes of EOE, what would i want to include?” over those 3.5 years, here’s what the list became:

dark academia vibes

heist plot

soulmates

that list is not really conducive to an entire universe, and i never had the motivation to sit down and think through it. 

then i watched breaking bad, and a lot of things started clicking. at the same time, i was talking to my buddy kyle about my fallen knight archetype schematic, and i began fleshing out all the archetypes that went with it. i came up with 12. i built a database. i thought, wouldn’t it be cool to write something with ALL 12 ARCHETYPES?? haha but who would be dumb enough to do that?

me. i would. 

with breaking bad as the missing plot piece (which introduces the idea of conflict around the MANUFACTURE and DISTRIBUTION of addictive substances, with an ensemble cast of morally grey characters, which leads to a war), i had enough to get started. 

i wrote an outline. i wrote another outline. i wrote a third outline. i stopped to write some histories of this place i’d built. i wrote a fourth outline. gdocs became a mess so i downloaded scrivener and taught myself how to use it. i wrote a gauge of the first chapter and landed the voice on the first try. then i did a rough sketch of how a trilogy would go. then i outlined each book in the trilogy to make sure my character trajectories were on point. then i did a lot more worldbuilding. now i’m working on my fifth outline, which breaks the entire novel down scene by scene. 

and for Reasons, i’m tasking myself with writing the first draft in 6 days across two weekends. it’s a high-stakes adventure story with a very tight timeline, so i think it’s conducive to being written quickly.

which brings me to another question you asked, which is, what bad habits do i want to break? i always, always slow down at the halfway mark. sometimes i even give up. i have no idea why. no matter how much preparation i do, no matter how solid my endgame is, at the halfway mark i either slow to a crawl or set the whole project down and pick up something new. i do this with reading books, too. i can only ever read the first half of books. then i either skip to the end or put them down forever. it’s definitely something i have to figure out because at this rate i’ll never finish anything.

okay this took way longer than i thought it would to write but i hope it answers your question. tl;dr i follow aesthetic and thematic interests until they lead me to a point where i can’t not write the stories that develop from them.