#first of all poor jane lmao 😭😭

[franklyimissparis]

i think this quote from the lyrics is perhaps one of the craziest paul quotes ever:

Yet again, just because I was involved with Jane at the time doesn’t mean this song is addressed to, or about, Jane. When I’m writing, it’s as if I’m setting words and music to the film I’m watching in my head. It’s a declaration of love, yes, but not always to someone specific. Unless it’s to a person out there who’s listening to the song. And they have to be ready for it. It’s almost definitely not going to be a person who’s said, ‘There he goes again, writing another of those silly love songs.’

[thatdeadaquarius]

About your language brainrot. I see your "Reader's writing can't match tyvat's long and flowery writing" and bring you "Tyvat isn't used to books over 50 pages long so a short story to the Reader is a whole dictionary to tyvat readers".

Seriously, have you seen how thin the books are? They don't wrote novels, they write short chapters formatted in the way really old stories are. As in, summarizing all the events down into one smooth story then adding a few quotes. Fanfiction writers are insane. They will willingly sit down and write hundreds of words at a time. To them, a proper modern day story of maybe, oh 10k words or so, would probably be like the Oddessy itself.

If we were to combine the two headcanons. It would end up as many historians being intimidated by this insanely long written scripture in the language of the forgotten.

I'm going to take this a step further and say that if the creator asked some people to proofread their things, it would establish a hiarchy of who is able to actually finish the book the creator read and who isn't.

NOW THIS, THIS IS MY FUCKING JAMMMM

I'm so sorry this is so old!! u probably all know this by this point that I've really slowed down as the year has gone on, but I graduated university and then got my first job so its been pretty crazy!

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: dash of all the book/nerds of Genshin, heavy on Sumeru?

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing, 16+ Mature Audiences, Spoliers for Sumeru Archon Quests/Scaramouche, & Trigger Warnings: mention of shipping/characters shipping themselves with you.

Comment if any missed, please.

☆

FULL STOP.

THE AKADEMIYA, FONTAINE RESEARCH INSTITUTE, HAVE BEEN WAITTTINNGGGG ON YOUR ASS LMAO

You fall from the fucking sky like a 5 star, or pop out of the Irminsul or whatever

and immediately are mobbed by scholars. LMAO jkjk (not really, bc that's what it’d feel like)

can you even imagine the dread older stories(”the classics” to them), that was instilled in the poor students around Teyvat??

id like to think ur works are the most preserved over the thousands of years of Teyvat archeologists excavating them, in comparison to other authors (teyvat just likes you more, suck it William Shakespeare)

also, bc I cant resist language differences/world building I'm sorryyyy 😭 😭

the vocab of Genshin lang vs. ours, has significantly less vocabulary like their actual dictionary is 1/3 the size of ours type of energy

(Omfg all ur fanfics being considered like insanely long realistic romantic classics or tragedies like Jane Austen-level, and only the richest and biggest play companies put on plays about ur stories bc the script goes on for hours)

(ur plays only get put on for rlly big events bc of this, like Lantern Rite or like a Summer/Winter festival/your birthday, which is, yes, an international holiday)

dude the sheer power move of anything you’ve written being essentially “Journey of the West” to them, like Damnnn.

endless like adaptations, plays, Teyvat-short stories condensing it, (THEIR OWN FANFICTION ABOUT UR STORIES)

the power is, in fact, going to your head every time another scholar both deflates at how long ur stuff is, but also lights up bc they get to read it

speaking of scholars… you know who snatched you up first. you know. you don’t even need to read the next line.

Alhaitham.

sneaky bastard he is, absolutely manipulated, mansplained (and manwhored bc he knows he’s handsome, cheeky little shit) his way into getting you to sit down with him and interview you about both translating other classics, your own, giving your own analysis of others works and ur own, and picking ur brain apart of how/why you wrote urs, etc. its fucking endless,

Kaveh had to come rescue you bc u were starving to death after getting stuck with the Haravatat scholar in his office for nearly 7 hours of interrogation discussion about literature

and Alhaitham wasn't even nearly done, he’d informed you as you left that he already had another appointment for later conversation scheduled (how?? you don't even know ur own schedule??? you have a schedule???) and was looking forward to more of your “creative and enlightening input” :)))

(you’re never going to escape him, not even Nahida herself can save you from his stubborn ass)

On another note, Xingqiu is quaking when you agree to autograph his copy of your stories (of which he has all hard covers of the first edition translations)

Zhongli/Rex Lapis is known for having a near-lifelong passion for searching for your works specifically, and learning how to translate them better into Teyvatian vernacular

like the same way he can absolutely speak on Rex Lapis facts/rocks/adepti info, is the same confidence he speaks about knowing ur work lol

(yes he did also ask for several autographs and another sit-down talk about the works, tho a lot more sneaky then Alhaitham bc he just casually gets u guys into it during dinner)

Barbatos/Venti has written some of the most famous songs based on your stuff, he has his favorites too,

but he always claims the best songs are any that have been written in the story, like either when a character sings something, or there are like quotes from songs ur fanfics are based on lol

(he also demanded to hear what they actually sound like from you, yes, you have to sing them for him lol)

Venti also can surprisingly drunkenly ramble the entirety of at least one of ur stories, like, word for word lmao

(Diluc gave in and did give him a drink on the house for that one, just once, Venti doesn’t remember it lol)

(I forgot to mention, u guys still speak the same language, just like, different versions of it)

ur works being one of the few things all the Archons can freely talk about with each other, like it’s neutral ground bc they’re all fangirling about it lmao

Furina and Neuvillette have had like,, fierce debates over the decades about character dynamics and the general drama of ur stories, they’ve gotten into it enough they’ve stopped talking to each other for a couple days a few times lol

Albedo, Sucrose, Kokomi, Yae Miko, Ei, Raiden, have read every single work they’re gotten their hands on in Teyvat (it took them like a literal year or longer)

Albedo drew you fanart for every single story, bc he’s hyperfixated on everything related to you ngl,

Kokomi had commissioned smaller pocket versions of ur works (which later got popular thanks to Yae Miko) both the OG and the Teyvat shortened versions

THE HARBINGERS ARE THE MOST DOWN BAD LMAO

Childe has literally tried to recreate battle scenes from ur works lmao

and gets especially riled up about fighting someone who resembles any characters from them (esp villains, what a cutie)

You cannot fathom the amount of research throughout Teyvat that has been secretly or indirectly funded by Pantalone/Tsaritsa

from the experts to analyze them, to funding play companies to act them out, to actually excavating places to get more of ur stuff unearthed

(the Harbingers absolutely are the first group of people that got to read several of ur stories first bc of this, like the world’s most exclusive secret book club lol)

Scaramouche used to clown on Childe all the time about how he was too impatient to even “sit down and read the King’s classics”, and he was downright insufferable when he found out about Tartaglia’s habit of recreating battle scenes/that being what motivated him to fight sometimes lol

that being said, Wanderer surprisingly never forgot ur stories.

Even when his memories were wiped for a bit, he found comfort in these fantastical epics still sticking around, even when his old names did not

(he mayyyy or mayyy nottt have secretly namedhimselfafteroneofthetragicprotagonistsherelatesto- )

oh btw, Nahida also found joy and comfort in ur stories when she was trapped, they also helped her literally grow as a person bc she had ur stories to help her sort of process the world/what life was like outside of her dreaming prison 🥺💔❤️‍🩹

◇

OMFG

ANYWAY FULL TONE SHIFT LMFAO-

the ABSOLUTE SPIRAL-RED-STRING-CONSPIRACY-THEORY-BOARD ENERGY IF THIS WAS A BLUNT LANGUAGE AU LMAOOOO

like specifically how Teyvatians like to give all the context ever thru their words, but older deities/beings like you just do simple phrases that can have deeper meanings (whereas teyvat just explains all the meanings behind their words)

STOP there’s like an official display at the Akademiya and Fontaine Institute of red string theory boards 😭😭 (look what you’ve done to themmm LMAO)

for like every story of urs, INCLUDING THE FANFICS STOP

IMAGINE THE SHIPPING WARS IF U EVER WROTE ONE THAT WASNT EXPLICIT OR LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTERESTS HAD CHEMISTRY WITH OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAA

that's actually what Akademiya scholars argue about the most viciously, it’s like politics you can’t just bring up ships from ur stories casually in regular convos 💀

(poor Cyno has to deal with a shipping war once a year bc someone always makes the mistake of reading ur work for the first time (without being told to not talk to others abt ships lol) and it starts an all out brawl in the cafeteria every time LMAO)

Also yes.

Cyno is a fanboy.

(he has read Creator x Reader-insert fanfiction.)

(As have most of the characters mentioned, and those not lol)

…

(I'm gonna make a whole Creator x reader fanfic post one day i stg lmao)

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :0

ok but real talk…

wtf do you guys wanna see for new years!!

i didn't do a inktober/october days thingy bc i felt too unprepared (and bc id wanted to post that 1000+ followers eldritch au for Halloween)

but now i kinda wanna, at least for a few days :o

ill post a poll in a minute, so check it out!! but still, please feel free to comment some ideas here! :)

Safe Travels Deafening Dreamer,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Now that my secret identity has been revealed (by me) I shall bravely soldier on like nothing has changed and scream into the void.

Wynn! I know subtlety is not your strong suit, but damn.

Look at them! They're actually just talking and not arguing! I'm so proud.

Guys, I'm gonna be real honest. They've been talking for like 10/15 minutes now and I don't really know whats going on, my brain is so tired. I tried relistening. Absolutely nothing was retained. I might have to do this episode again, or maybe just not and see how big of a issue this will be.

So far I know that the sabat is attacking and they are debating what to do.

Johnny asking Miles to be his date. 👀 We all. Know Miles is saying hard to get.

😂😂😂Britta idk what you were expecting they'd say, but I know you didn't expect them to go oh okay no problem, because you're smarter than that.

Britta you cannot stay with Eden, there are people who would be upset. Here in the real world.

I mean Britta or someone needs to reach down deep inside her, if you know what I mean. 😏

This is hard though, because I totally get what Johnny is saying, but my social anxiety is agreeing with Britta. Tbh I'm surprised she hasn't just walked into the sun.

Neil, sweetheart, baby, love of my life. What is going on with you and the obsession with Britta? Like you are grilling her way too hard, and this is not the first time. Is this because she was kidnapped? Idk it's very strange, I can't place it.

Poor Britta, so much has happened to her that I had completely forgotten that Shaw had promised to 'give' her to some Bruja.

Johnny you don't know the half of Britta and Pendragon.

Wynn, you're a goddess for offering to go with Pendragon.

NEIL?!??! WHAT THE FUCK???? Idk if this is confirmation bias or what but you're being so weird about Britta!

Wynn: can we let Britta choose how she comes (to this). 😏 I'm so sorry, I am Really tired.

Neil: Britta, how do you wanna come?😂

Omg Wynn: I like mouth stuff. 😂😂 Thank god I am not alone on this train.

Do aunts and uncles usually talk about sex at thanksgiving???? That feels very unamerican.

Aw Britta I get you, being scared is the absolute worst. And having to do smth you're scared of sucks.

Wynn being her guidance councillor self.

Wow look at Johnny being all tactful and doing this dividing the invitation.

Neil, goddamn that is so sad. Why would Johnny just tell you good luck?? Dude you are a part of this coterie! When will you get that into your thick skull?

Wynn immediately catching it. She had a full time psychologist job with this coterie damn.

Miles just being a shithead: I heard you got invited to a ball recently.

Miles: I am used to being hated. (😭 what is going on you guys??? Youre the best!)

Miles actually thought that Wynn hated him now. Goddamn Wynn, I hope you charge by the hour.

Hell yeah, Britta!! I know this is all under duress, but if you can stop yourself from fleeing the scene when Pendragon shows up (which I wouldn't blame you for, let me be clear) the you're going to do a great job at this rave!

What if Delgado brings Carmen and Britta is going to get sucked into some bisexual maelstrom.

Neil!!! Sweet lord, why does it sound like you exactly know what's going on and yiu just want to hear her say it. Calm down.

Johnny getting a new jacket for Britta without question. 🥰

Neil omg are you seriously going to steal that jacket back??? Is this a weird Britta thing? Or a weird ownership of stuff thing? Or both or neither?

We all knew it, but it's still gratifying to see Miles being a great boy toy.

I don't think anyone has called a Bruja rave a soiree before. Lmao

Lmao Neil being pulled around by Jane.

Okay say what you want but this Rave is making everyone look good!!

Lmaooo Jane just collaring Neil without explanation. 😂

Wait what diablerist?? Ohh because of the trial??

Jane is the best, I love her.

I know it's such a small thing overall, but I love the mount of detail we always get clothes wise. It really helps me visualise, even though my visualisations are often wrong and offend people (see: Johnny's shaved head and Britta's light blonde curls)

Whethers is such a dream boat!

Johnny doing his iron heart thing. 🥰 I know he has done it a few times alrwady but it always warms my heart.

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: ncis: hawai’i from 1x15

been a hot minute since i’ve watched this show but i’m back 🫶🏻

— 1x15

gracie is being so rude to jesse ☹️

oh shit??

tennant better pick up her phone omg

WOAH

lucy facing her fear of the ocean for jesse 🥹 that’s family fr

aloe vera really can be used for anything damn

i bet the boat’s gonna be empty

well.

i feel like this rebecca woman is gonna have something to do with this..it seems like she’s hiding something

“if someone i knew were in trouble, i’d want you to be the one looking” 🥹

“not you” oh shit they’re probably gonna use grace against jesse

i knew that woman wasn’t telling the truth

WAIT JESSE STARTING THAT FIRE WAS COOL AS HELL

at least rebecca isn’t in on it

damn jesse got his ass kicked

“she’s mine” that had no business sounding hot

lucy and pike going with jesse aw🫂

tenant and jesse’s friendship is something that can be so personal

— 1x16

“i know a guy” and it’s gonna be his dad lmao

oof the fight between kai and his dad was rough

not daniel trying to control what college alex is going to…jane better shut that shit down

oh my God that kill was brutal

jane’s facial expressions while lucy’s snapping at kate are sending me

lmao poor kate she can’t win in this situation

kai’s being so damn obvious it’s only a matter of time before he’s caught

…or fired i guess lmao

i can’t wait for the chef to find out who kai really is

daniel being pissed that jane doesn’t know what’s going on is so stupid cause it’s not like he’s trying to tell her. he just magically wants her to know 🙄

“she doesn’t know you like i do” aw

DAD?!

that was insane

— 1x17

woahhhh

ERNIE???

poor kate she’s trying her best and i feel bad for her but i get where lucy’s coming from too

well shit

mike bowen?!

“sometimes there’s no nuance, it’s just right and wrong” hm i don’t think she’s just talking about the ransom anymore

OH SHIT

“what a jackass” ernie’s face pls 😭

kacy ☹️

“we were just about to rock” what the helldjgjgjfns

wow i didn’t see that coming

i love ernie so much 🥹

the hug aww

— 1x18

so i ended up having to watch the first part of the crossover cause i was hella confused 🙃 the og ncis isn’t actually that bad i’m kinda surprised

he’s GONE?!

lmfaoooo they didn’t even know about the rumors

matching tattoos 😭😭

this woman is terrible at her job

well his body’s for sure gone

i love jessica and ernie’s dynamic

this episode’s kinda boring

seems like whatever happened in orlando wasn’t as great as everyone’s making it out to be

— 1x18

“i haven’t had a baby in about ten years” “daniel, you never actually had a baby” pls 😭

oh no, alex :(

ernie’s so sweet, i love him

the hawaiian lion king?? 😭

PEPPER LMFAOOO

jane’s friendship with jesse 🥹🫶🏻

pepper’s so freaking cute

jane has really good kids, they’re so lovely

ernie loves lucy so much 🥹

lucy and jesse teaming up to tease kai pls

damn jane kicked ass

aww alex visiting his baby brother

kai and melanie are so cute

baby nate 🥹

— 1x19

what the hell?

lmaooo poor kai all he wants is to eat his sandwich

jesse looks so fine

lil wayne 😭

the woman’s probably holding blake hostage

oh lucy was gay panicking bad and kate loved it 😭

3 dead people?? what’s her issue…

his wife is dead ☹️

“because i loved you, kate” my God.

oh i love this for ernie

lucy’s def not over kate

lmao poor jane all she wants is a bath

i love kai so much he’s such a good guy

— 1x20 & 1x21

omg he stabbed him

jesse’s british accent is so bad pls

jesse sense? this show is so unserious 😭

“do you think these shoes go with this shirt?” “ the question is, do you?” lmaooo

pike’s so freaking funny

he meant a date 😭

oof kacy in this interrogation

i knew that wasn’t gonna end well

woahhh they both died? omg

these last two eps are kinda uninteresting

we deserved to see more jealous lucy before her and kate got back together

OH SHIT

“oh God, i wasn’t being literal” 😭

everyone cheering for lucy and kate aw 🥹🫶🏻

[valssecretshit]

🤒😩🌸🕯😭🍵🎤😔📝

sl/ender and/or spl/endor

HOLY SHIT MY SCREENTIME RECORD IS ABOUT TO SKYROCKET

i’m doing both of them for every question cus i LOVE sple/ndor <3

🤒 slen/der doesn’t get sick often, i’d say maybe once every few years. the max he gets sick is maybe once a year, that’s if his luck runs out with immunity. sple/ndor is the same but the minimum is maybe once every two years. slender catches flus more often than colds and splendor actually catches colds on TOP of stomach bugs, more often than not. which if you know what a cold or allergies on top of a stomach flu is like, it fucking SUCKS.

😩slender tends to sneeze only once, maybe twice. it doesn’t depend on the cause usually, his body just decides for itself. splendor tho sneezes in small fits of 2-4, if it’s over 4, he’s probably come into contact with an allergen he’s sensitive to, such as incense for example, one of his weaknesses. fits aren’t common for slender at all and if he has one it’s a cause for extreme concern (and a need for earplugs), splendor again it depends on if he’s allergic to something in the air or not.

🌸slender isn’t allergic to any plants or pollen at all, splendor is weird with it, it’s only certain plants. strongest one being hibiscus flowers, and another being pine trees since if i’m not mistaken they attract pollen easily. with the hibiscus flowers it’s both the pollen and the smell of them that gets him. hibiscus flowers and pine trees set him off into those fits of more than 4, usually 5-6.

🕯slender CAN be set off by dust but it would have to be a dusty ass room that hasn’t been cleaned in 50 years, otherwise it won’t be enough. pretty much any strong synthetic perfumes like ones from bath and body works, victoria’s secret, even axe body spray or old spice, literally ANY body fragrances can set off splendor. especially if it’s a huge amount. sally may get a hold of jane or nina’s perfumes and might want to spray them around the house, and splendor will just lose it. nothing outta the ordinary.

😭y’all obviously know what i’mma say for this one lmao. slender is pretty quiet about it, doesn’t try to HIDE the fact he’s sick (as it’s very noticeable when he is) but he insists he can work through it. splendor, not being much of a whiner or complainer, doesn’t downplay it at all and will admit it if he can’t do certain things because he’s not feeling well. he won’t make his illness everybody else’s problem though, not even slender’s.

🍵YESSS THEY ARE TEA WHORES. slender prefers irish black tea with lemon and honey, as both help sore throats and phlegm which is what he struggles with a lot when he’s such. splendor is on the sweeter side, liking more floral or fruity teas such as raspberry tea or rose tea, def with a LOT of honey, since slender doesn’t like him having a bunch of sugar when he’s sick since he gets those stomach bugs. splendor would accept water and so would slender if they had no tea left, they won’t like it, but they have to deal with it.

🎤slenders voice changed a bit when he’s sick, it develops a decent amount of rasp and if he is having a bad cold you can hear a deep congestion when he talks. splendors voice gets a lot more congested than raspy, but he’s also a very quiet sick guy when he’s like that. doesn’t like to talk as he’s afraid of hearing his voice, so really we wouldn’t know too much.

😔slenders a weird one. he can either sleep in an extra 5 hours, or he can’t sleep at all. both are concerning factors. he doesn’t become irritable or aggressive with anybody at all as he’s naturally a very patient guy, but he also is still a talkative guy. probably won’t talk first but he’ll talk if you have a question. splendor again doesn’t talk much and would also kinda withdrawal from people without even wanting to, but his brain just needs space and quiet alone to itself when he’s sick. he won’t be a super horrible crybaby but poor guy breaks into sobs when he has to throw up or if he sneezes a little too much and he can’t breathe or gets a migraine from the pressure on his sinuses. he’s a very emotional guy.

📝UHHH UHHH OK imagine like splendor gets super sneezy and he’s just firing rapid fits after another, so so exhausted and so congested but also confused because he’s not anywhere around an allergen, to his knowledge, til slender immediately puts away a cologne he was trying on and tries to get splendor to settle down, feeling super bad for forgetting to close the bathroom door before trying out the spray. takes splendor a good mother 5-6 minutes for the sneezes to stop, by now the hanky he was covering with is VERY much used up, but they just have this back and forth “i am SO sorry oh my god-“ “nonono i’m sorry i tried to just suck it up-“ “that’s not good i’m sorry i really should have waited til you left” “nooo now i fEEL BAD-“ “SERIOUSLY IT WAS MY FAULT-“

[pastafossa]

Hello dear pasta. I’ve come to scream about jane and matt, because why not??

Jane almost dying after swallowing a random memory from foggy? Iconic. I hope the memory was something good though. Maybe something silly like him trying to ride a bike as a four year old and failing miserably, or the first time he ate sushi, put too much wasabi on it and had to drink copious amounts of liquid to soothe the burning!!

But, i feel very bad for matt too. This man can’t catch a break with people he’s on the brink of losing, can he? So i get his overprotectiveness tbh, but oh man do i love jane and her backstory. If you sold this as a standalone book id definitely buy it, like ive never heard about such an eloborate backstory in a fanfic??? God bless that you walk along us mere mortals on this earth pasta!!

(Jane is not only spitting rocks, she’s spitting bars too with those arguments with matt. <- yes i laughed when i thought of this lmao. I feel like such a dad)

(Also i think tumblr has been eating my asks *raises fist* tumblr gods, rest assured my vengeance shall be coming upon you soon!)

- @buckysbiota

HELLO AGAIN MY FRIEND!

I do feel after this, at least for a little while, Jane can reign as queen of the, 'Weirdest Way I Almost Died' club, because yeah, choking on Foggy's memory and almost dying because of it? They'll have to work to beat the strange factor. I can also confirm it was a good memory, cause if you're gonna choke to death on one, may as well be a pleasant one, even if it doesn't feel that way when it's stuck in your esophagus. 😂

Matt really does have sorta shitty luck here, yeah. He's got a history of losing people and these people he loves just keep winding up in danger, or almost dying in ways he doesn't quite expect them to. It naturally ends up putting him a bit on edge, like you said, especially with something like this with Jane where it is such an unknown, and something he can't really fight against. There is no going into the thread to haul her ass out of the water, there's no shoving his hand down her throat there to pull that stupid rock out, so he's just kind of... stuck waiting to see if she makes it out of whatever she's fighting. Poor guy.

And thank you SO SO MUCH! 😭 I tried to make all the backstory and plotlines just as elaborate and detailed as I might a book series, so I could practice what I'd learned about connecting plotlines, laying out clues, and building it all up slowly. I really do want to get published one day, so ya'll are getting every trick and lesson I've ever picked up over the years, and I am endlessly grateful for the response TRT's gotten! 🥰

(sweet jesus, I spat water, the Dad jokes are here! 😂😂😂)

(IT DOES EAT ASKS, I LIVE IN ETERNAL FEAR I'VE MISSED SOME??? Did I miss it? Is it buried in the backlog of asks I haven't gotten to yet? Did it get eaten? HELLSITEEEEEE.)

[seghs24]

Watched the first part of Stranger Things S4! My thoughts:

I have no idea why but something about this show..... I can never remember anyone's fucking name. Every time I watch a new season it's like "Which one is Mike again? Who's that kids older brother? Who is this?"

I really straight up forget that this is a horror themed show! Every time I think about it I imagine it as a Sci-Fi Action type show and then I watch a new season and go Holy Fucking Shit That's Terrifying. Why did they crack that girl apart like that.

I love Joyce and I would die for Joyce

I really hope Jane gets to fucking destroy her bullies with her mental powers. Rip those bitches apart girl!!!

God I'm so fucking in love with Steve. Also him immediately trying to become Robin's wingman? He's so fucking adorable

Man Mike's such a pussy "omg El what did you do!?!?!?" bro she bashed her bullies brains in??? Your girlfriend is a badass and that bitch deserved it

Eddie is insane but I love him and his wild af hair

At this point it's insane that everyone doubts Joyce. She's right about literally EVERYTHING. EVERY TIME.

Also lmaoooo Hopper just fell and she left his ass there without even checking. Just went "Damn he must have evaporated 😭" girl you didn't even look!!!

I love that Nancy was running around yelling for Fred? Freddy? And the cops didn't even fucking notice and when she went to the officer he was like "Fuck you're still here?" Yes? You didn't see her or hear her? Hello???

On one hand I hate that dumb meathead jock for immediately falling for bullshit propaganda but on the other hand, despite his girlfriend being killed, he still took the time to grab Lucas and comfort and reassure him and tell him his sister was fine.

But also if he hurts Eddie I'm gonna reach thru the screen and kill him myself

Love that Joyce has like, 40k just lying around in her bank. We love a rich queen

Johnathan and Nancy this season are just the "Clown to Clown Communication" meme. Or rather No Communication. Jesus Christ use your words and speak to each other!!! Jane's churning out letters like no ones fucking business and ya'll are just sitting there

Also...... Can people just please be nice to Will for like ONE episode. Just one. Holy fuck that poor dude. Also please someone fix his ugly ass hair what the FUCK is that shit

Lucas noooo honey you can't just pull the bullshit "Lying to your friends to impress people you want to make like you" trope 😭

I love Robin I would let her ramble to me all day.

I love that Steve became the Designated Mom Friend of the group and is in charge of all of the kids

Fucking Hopper is like 5 seconds from freedom and he's like "Fuck you I'm doing it MY WAY" bro! Stop!

Fuck the cops that questioned Jane I want them to die <3

Also I love how she learned to talk relatively "normal" but whenever she's anxious, nervous or upset her speech becomes more stilted and janky again. Really neat detail.

Honestly I always forget how weird looking teenagers are until I watch a show like this and I'm like..... Damn teenage boys really DO look fucking weird. No offense kings you'll grow out of it but in your teen years you really do look like one of them Japanese spider crabs

If Vecna hurts Max I'm gonna go fucking insane apeshit savage

Nancy and Robin bonding over possessed serial killers <3

Fucking Max's letters Jesus Christ. Bawling my eyes out at her letter to Billy

Okay that scene? With the music? Brilliant. Perfect. Amazing. Superb. Also love that no one fucking caught Max on the way down, just let her ass drop like a bag of potatoes

Also love that Vecna is apparently made out of wet tissue paper. Max just ripped a chunk out of his shoulder with no issue lmao???

NO NOT THAT FUCKING GUY AGAIN. HATE THAT GUY. EL KILL HIM FINISH HIM OFF.

Reaaaally fucking don't like that he makes all the kids call him "Papa". Really creepy bad vibes from that.

Someone please get Steve a girlfriend he's so fucking lonely

Love that the asshole jock guy was moments away from catching the guy who he's been hunting but completely stopped to make sure his buddy was okay because he stopped swimming. He's definitely not okay but it's nice he at least stopped!

Saw the description for the next episode and said something about "Steve takes one for the team" hmmm don't like that! Don't fucking like that! Bad fucking vibes from that!

Love that Murray and Joyce immediately started flipping switches and hitting buttons in the plane even though it was flying perfectly fine. Like...... They could have just sat there and figured shit out instead of fucking going apeshit

Damn no wonder El killed all those kids they were shitheads

But oh no that hot guy that was helping her :(

Antonov is really growing on me I love him. Also love Hopper stealing the guards lighter and making Antonov laugh, which made him laugh even harder. They're being friends 🥺

Also love that Hopper called Antonov's son slow and Antonov immediately went "NUH UH HE'S THE TOP OF HIS CLASS! >:(" That's adorable he's so proud of his boy

FUCKING STEVE. FUCKING STEVE. IDIOT STEVE. I WANTED TO SEE THOSE BAT THINGS UP CLOSE BUT NOT LIKE THAT! At least everyone else immediately went in to rescue his ass, that was adorable.

What the FUCK is going on at Susie's house lmao. Cornelius is funny as fuck.

LMAOOOOOO Dustin and Lucas talking about how hairy Steve got and Max immediately grabbing the binoculars like "LET ME SEE" Girl same 😭

Holy shit Murray is a badass

I love that Steve almost passed out from blood loss before going "Fuck it I'm biking seven miles get out of my way" you go dude!!!

That scene in the trailer was so cool, love those funky physics. Also oh my GOD Eddie what is up with that mattress

Love that despite Steve's severe injuries everyone was like "Move you're going last" lmaooooo poor dude

I remember as soon as that guy started talking about One I was like "Haha what if HE'S one lol" and. Well. Yeah.

Also the fact that he was Viktor's son? Amazing. Love it. Love that twist.

Also love the fact a bald child got so pissed off she turned him into a fucking interdimensional portal. Me when I have an autistic meltdown.

Fucking Third Wheel Antonov standing awkwardly in the background while Joyce and Hopper reunite

Also fucking annoying Love Triangle bullshit. Just let Steve, Johnathan and Nancy date each other. Boom problem solved.

I wonder if Will painted a picture of all of their D&D characters???

[idk-my-aesthetic]

(Why tf do I have so many comments??? Sorry for the spam lmao)

Ben shakes his head like a dog/beast when he gets out of the water

The way mal throws the rock is so funny

“I don’t know what love feels like” girl u have a gf and 2 bfs open ur eyessss

Ur about to have a gf and 3 bfs but still

Who thought it was a good idea to ambush these kids with their parents???

Tfw u get upset bc mass murders and child abusers make fun of you by getting the vegetable in ur story wrong.

Actually I think both pumpkins and eggplants are fruit....

Carlos bouncing dude is so cute

Good for u Carlos for speaking up to ur mom!!! G-d I wish I was that brave

Jay puts his arm on Carlos’s shoulder

Dude is already wearing a little vest

The thing where they’re all looking at what makes them happy makes me so sadddd

Carlos gives Evie Dude so he can go eat chocolate

They didn’t wanna do it and then family day happened and they felt like they had no choice agsggfhfgdgg

I need to know how Belle and the beast can think the vks are evil while Carlos and jay are covered in chocolate and Evie is holding a puppy

Carlos is running around with Dude while the others play

Evie is talking with belle in the background!!!!! Yay !!! Accept her please she deserves a good mom

Again Disney I will smite you for how u wrote Audrey.

Why are you yelling at the children for what they’re parents did?????? Fuck offffffff

This is a 16 yr old literally fuck off

I already have a rewrite of this drafted and I need to finish it and fucking go off

Did they think the vks killed Chad???

Adam “this is ur fault” literally fuck off. It’s y’all’s classest asses faults

Mal looks so sad poor bby

Carlos is away from Dude for the first time since he got him after family day. :((((((

Okay even though they’re acting like total bitches Audrey and Jane are holding hands..... gay

The walk they do in a line makes me really gay

I highkey hate this version of Snow White

The fact that all the Auradon kids have clothes like their parents is cute

The fact that eq and Maleficent are all proud of the girls would b cute if they weren’t child abusers. Like sit the hell down and step away from the children

Mal watching ben’s parents be supportive and obviously wanting that for herself 😭😭

The kids in the choir look so bored lmao

This is such a blessedly short ceremony

The base of the wand has a mini version of Cinderella’s carriage

Jane ur so pretty put the wand down

Don’t steal the wand your so sexy ahaha

Ben going to protect mal is the bestttt

Everyone cheering for jay and his little smile when mal mentions tourney 😍😍

The sad little awe/oh from the crowd when Carlos mentions how mad their parents will be.....

Just relized the wand stopped sparking for mal bc she has more control of her magic compared to Jane

Chad: I’m not gay

Also Chad: grabs onto Doug in his fear

Lmao none of the extras look scared

Mal crying makes me cry

Maleficent step away from the children

Good boy dude for attacking her

who thought it was okay for Maleficent to go full pedo mode on jay???????? I can and will kill her

Mal standing in front of the others ❤️❤️❤️

“The strength of evil is good as none when stands before 4 hearts as one” I-

❤️❤️😭😍❤️😭😍❤️❤️😭❤️😍😍😭❤️❤️😍❤️😭😭❤️😭😭❤️

Tiny Maleficent cowers away from mal

Step on her babe

The little beast like moments with Ben are real cute

Also him picking up and spinning mal

Also!!! Carlos Still bouncing Dude in the background 😍😍😍

1) mal has a quick gay moment with both Jane and Audrey

2) ARORA IS FUCKING IN THE BACKGROUND STANDING BEHIND AUDREY

The group hug I’m 😍😍😍😍

I swear I usually don’t use this many emojis I’m just trying to pretend to have a personality

Doug and Evie dancing is actually really cute

The little rap Carlos and jay do plus how they sit next to Jane makes me so happy even though I don’t ship janelos

This song always always always makes me cry even the first time I saw it

Jay and Audrey pretending to be hetro together.....

Unfortunately I’m really gay for both of them

I lowkey wanna post a vid of me singing the songs from this movie lol

The little forehead touch is so soft

IM SORRY CHAD LIFTS DOUG AND SPINS HIM IN THE END???

they’re gay harold

There’s little green and purple nailp lolish next to the book

I love this movie even if it isn’t perfect

Let ur self love things that aren’t perfect y’all you’ll be much happier

I’m rewatching the first descendants and Cruella keeps deadass petting Carlos and I’m like.... how bout u get ur hands off him.... this is the woman who canonicaly abused him and tried to murder puppies for their fur and she keeps touching/petting his hair.... like hands off the child right now b4 I call the cops