#first of all it’s crazy that they needed only an hour to basically give Daniel the seat

[rickybaby]

How Daniel Ricciardo's AlphaTauri return happened and what it means for Sergio Perez

[phanfictioncatalogue]

5k-10k Words (9) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight

10x10, a hundred images of loving you | 9k | (ao3) - silentOrator

Summary: Dan and Phil at Christmas through the years.

A Dance With Death | 8k | - botanistlester

Summary: Dan is the God of Death, who helps people to the Underworld when they pass. One day, he randomly pops up at a masquerade ball for Prince Philip's coming of age ceremony. He doesn't know why he is there, but it's hard to focus on his job when the prince asks him to dance.

As He Comes, So I Come | 8k | (ao3) - cloej88

Summary: Dan and Phil have just returned from Chicago, where they finally sorted themselves out. They’ve slept a full ten hours under their own roof, and now they have an uninterrupted afternoon to rediscover one another’s bodies.

The companion piece to As He Goes, So I Go, in which they have proper reunion sex after they haven’t fucked for ~a year. It's basically just smut. I would apologize for the title, but the opportunity was just too good to pass up.

As the World Caves In | 7k | (ao3) - cosmic_angel_writes

Summary: Dan and Phil vs The Zombie Apocalypse

All I Want for Christmas is You. | 5k | (ao3) - scifi (orphan_account)

Summary: it’s almost christmas and all it takes is a cup of mulled wine for dan to realise he has been in love with phil all along

All Signs Point to Us | 6k | (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven't learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize thAt he fallen in love with the younger boy.

Babylon | 6k | (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: Just a little story about two boys realizing that they can make their own rules, and even if it's hard, they are worth it.

backstage, baby | 5k | (ao3) - baroquen

Summary: Dan's a theatre kid doing his first show at university, Phil does theatre tech, and they fall in love backstage.

Bear | 5k | (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: As a child, Dan was easily frightened and needed comfort; that was when his Nana first gave him his Pooh Bear plush, as something that could keep him safe. Over the years, the plush became his absolute comfort, even into adulthood. When Phil comes into the picture, he makes Dan even more comfortable; through the good times and bad.

Boys on Fire | 5k | (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan is visiting Phil for the second time ever and a little Buffy viewing session turns into sexy times.

Buffy Movie Nights are Life Changing | 5k | (ao3) - angelbats

Summary: Things get steamy between Dan and Phil during their nighttime Buffy streaming session in 2010; featuring a confident yet bashful Phil and a shy Dan who learns how to drive Phil crazy.

Coffee by Chappell Roan | 9k | (ao3) - danswideslit

Summary: someone on tumblr mentioned needing a dnp fic with the narrative from coffee and I felt inspired because I love that song a whole lot

Dad Wars | 9k | (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Or, 5 times Dan and Phil fought over one dramatic school year, and one final battle that would change them forever. Probably.

Daydreams | 10k | - placingglaciers

Summary: Nothing like a Christmas-in-July party can’t fix for two shy office crushes!

Don’t be scared | 5k | (ao3) - danisnot3131

Summary: Before agreeing to go on Tour for Interactive Introvers, Dan is hit with the realization that he’s been in love with Phil for years.

Don't Blame Me | 9k | (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: When Phil gets a new job at the Tops Only Bar, he's just looking to make ends meet over the holiday period. He doesn't expect how he'll feel about one of the performers or how hard that'll make his job.

Electronics and the Phil’s that break them | 9k | (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident.

Experience is key | 7k | (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: On a fateful late-night walk, Dan happens across two oddly familiar young men in the park.

Help Taking it Off | 5k | (ao3) - cats_with_no_tails

Summary: I don’t know if Dan helped Phil pick out the phlonde-launch outfit, but I certainly imagine he helped take it off.

—

Set the day of Phil’s blonde hair announcement - Dan comes home to him in that cunty little midriff and wants to devour him.

Hotel del Luna | 8k | (ao3) - writingfunstories

Summary: A mysterious hotel for ghosts. What can go wrong?

(i'll give you) anything, anything | 5k | (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: It’s just something he’s never really thought about all that much, because it just became one of the things they do over the years. He’ll offer Dan bites of his food most of the time, really, and it does always make something spark a little in his chest when Dan lets him feed him, but it’s– it’s a normal thing, normal couples do it all the time, and he and Dan are. Well. Not normal by any stretch, really, but that’s hardly the point.

(Maybe Phil likes feeding Dan more than he should. Maybe he always has.)

i’m electric, a romantic cliché (me and you were meant to be in love) | 6k | (ao3) - nardfx

Summary: “i really don’t know if i can do this.”

“you can do this.”

“okay, but what happens when everyone’s eyes are on me and they all know all of my secrets?”

or

dan and phil go to prom

In this moment, you are everything | 9k | - wavydanrises

Summary: Dan was just wasting time on the Internet when he stumbled upon a post that might mean a change of plans for the holidays, for the better.

just a little bit closer | 5k | (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil have a deep conversation, leading to them trying something new together.

(Set during the week Dan spent up north at Phil's house in December 2009.)

Lester87 | 10k | - placingglaciers

Summary: In which Dan works as a part-time online fashion stylist to pay for university and he’s determined to get to the bottom as to why his favorite client continually needs first-date outfits.

names of collision in the dark | 7k | (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Of enemy kingdoms, Prince Dan and Prince Phil meet one fateful night, leading to a surprising friendship that evolves into something more. As the looming threat of a major battle grows stronger, both princes grapple with their roles and the burdens of leadership, all while their growing bond forces them to confront their own kingdoms’ expectations and the possibility of peace in the chaos.

(aka the dan and phil royal au fic they wrote for the gaming channel but taken seriously)

"oh great, now im a furry" | 5k | (ao3) - cloej88

Summary: This is a fic about Dan getting off on his giant teddy bear… Yeah. But it’s also a fic about trust and connection and vulnerability!

so I will share this room with you | 5k | (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil hadn't meant to end up here.

an exploration of the aftermath of meeting your soulmate when you're still so impossibly young

some of the most normal pictures | 5k | (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil took many photos of Dan. It was second nature. To capture this life that they shared and this man that he got to share it with. Each moment precious, captured when Dan was his most relaxed and at ease. And they're completely normal. Of course.

SPI: A Dan and Phil Paranormal Investigator AU | 5k | (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: So I made a TikTok where Dan and Phil were Paranormal Investigators, and I decided to make an AU based on it. (my TikTok is @nothoughts_onlytrance if you wanna check it out!)

the angel in the marble | 6k | (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: “Can I just say,” Dan says, pulling away to look at Phil. His hand has drifted from Phil’s jaw to his hair again, because of course it has. “I took a risk with the angel thing. I didn’t think you’d like it that much.”

Or, Phil dyes his hair blonde, Dan calls him angel, and neither of them can get any work done.

the only way to make it to ohio | 7k | (ao3) - buskingalbatross

Summary: A coincidental concoction of events catalyzes a series of abnormal dreams for Phil Lester.

[residentlesbrarian]

The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist. 

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great! 

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything. 

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on.  They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations. 

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold.  She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links: 

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all. 

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many. 

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[lauras-collection]

More Than I Know [Part 3]

Tom Holland x female Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Dinner with Tom and your family is an emotional rollercoaster.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: swearing, nothing else I think (let me know if there is anything in there that I should add)

A/N: This part was a real struggle. I’m sorry it took so long but I had to write a term paper and I was stuck with this part because I kept having ideas for later on in the story :D The next part should be a little easier to write *fingers crossed*

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2

As expected, the pictures from your date were circling through the tabloids again. They even managed to take some photos of the two of you inside the restaurant. But the picture you liked the most was of you looking at Tom with the biggest smile and him returning one just as big, your hands intertwined. You couldn’t deny it, you guys looked cute together. You saved the picture to your phone, edited it a bit (just a little colour correction) and set it as your lock screen. That’s what real couples do, right? 

You and Tom were going to your parent’s house for dinner tonight and you’d rather be safe than sorry. 

It had been relatively easy to find a date where everyone was available to have dinner. Secretly, you had hoped that it wouldn’t work out. But apparently Tom wasn’t as busy as usual this week and your parents always made an effort to have dinner together anyway. Kate and her fiancé Daniel would be there, too. So you had to play your part well. 

You were picking up Tom this time, you didn’t want him to be the one driving you around the whole time. You couldn’t sit around in your flat any longer so you drove to Tom’s place earlier than you needed. So now you were standing in front of Tom’s flat waiting for him to open the door. When he did, you were immediately greeted by Tessa, Tom’s staffy. 

“Can I pet her?” You asked Tom crouching down before looking up at him. He seemed to be freshly showered, his hair still wet, a few strands falling in his face. He was wearing a black shirt and black jeans, as usual. His arm was leaning against the doorframe. He looked so good you had to tear your eyes away from him, looking back at the dog in front of you.

“Of course, just let her smell your hand first.” You do as Tom told you and then petted her head making her walk towards you, her head rubbing against your thigh. “She likes you.” Tom smiles “You wanna come in?” 

You took a moment to answer still caressing Tessa’s fur. “Yeah, sure.” You stood up from your crouched position on the floor and entered Tom’s flat. The living room was spacious and he didn’t seem to care much about decorating. The only thing hanging on the wall beside a tv was an Avengers poster. You sat down on the sofa and Tessa immediately joined you making Tom let out a laugh. 

“Well, seems like she likes you more than me now.” Tom sits down next to you, his arm on the back of the sofa, and suddenly you were very aware of his presence. 

You took your phone out of your pocket to show Tom your lock screen. “I saw the pictures today and since we don’t have any cute couple selfies I figured I’d use one of those.” You laugh while Tom looks at your phone screen. 

“Why don’t we take some selfies now?” He proposes and moves a little closer to you. 

“Only if Tessa’s in the picture as well.” You try to hide the blush on your checks as you pet the staffy again. Tom laughs and pats the spot between you and him so Tessa hops over your lap. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiles at you and you hand him your phone because his arms were longer and you didn’t want to sport a double chin on a selfie with Tom. While Tom was holding your phone with his right hand, his left arm pulled you closer, resting around your waist his hand on your hip. You leaned your body against him while Tessa looked between the two of you. Tom took some selfies where you were just smiling at the camera before moving his face closer to yours, placing a kiss on your cheek. You were surprised but your smile only widened. When you moved your face to look at him, his face was still so close your nose was almost touching his. 

If this had been just a normal date or if Tom had been just a normal guy you would’ve kissed him. But this was fake. You were taking these picture to convince your parents that you were dating when in reality you weren’t. He didn’t give you that kiss on the cheek because he likes you, he did it for the photo.

You were so consumed with your thoughts that you hadn’t even noticed that Tom’s eyes were flickering between your eyes and your lips. His arms had been lowered after taking one last picture of the two of you staring at each other. You cleared your throat and moved away a bit your eyes finding Tessa again. “Any good ones?” You asked nodding towards your phone in Tom’s hand. 

“Uh, yeah... Of course, Tessa is in them.” He chuckled and flicked through the photos. “Is it okay if I send them to myself?” You told him that it’s fine so he went to your messaging app and sent himself all of the pictures he had just taken. As he handed the phone back to you the sound of the front door opening caught your attention. A blond guy entered the flat and Tom sat up a bit.

“Haz, mate, you’re home early.” Tom almost sounded accusing and you had to suppress a smile. 

“I didn’t know you had a visitor.” Harrison smirked at Tom with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah... this is Y/N.” Tom introduced you and at the mention of your name Harrison’s eyes widened. 

“Oh, hi Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He shook your hand and you didn’t know how to react. Did he know that you and Tom were just faking it or did you have to pretend in front of him as well? 

“He knows.” Tom mentions as if he had read your mind. Relieved, you let out a breath. 

“Thank god!“ You laughed. You were not ready to start acting right now. You knew you had to eventually, but you still had a bit of time to prepare.

“Nervous? Tom told me he’s meeting your parents today.” Harrison asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, unlike other people,” you looked at Tom “I’m not a professional actor, so I’m afraid I’ll blow it the second I enter my parent’s house.” You shrugged your shoulders and Tom rubbed your back in reassurance. 

“Don’t worry, as you said when we first met, just pretend you’re into me.” Tom smirked and you rolled your eyes. That would be easy, not a lot of pretending necessary. 

Half an hour later you and Tom were waiting for your parents to open the door. Tom held your hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You sent him a smile and when the door opened, your mum’s eyes were practically sparkling she was so excited.

“Tom!” she exclaimed “It’s so nice to meet you. Come on in. I’m Y/N’s mum. You can call me Mum too if you want.” and with that, she crushed Tom in a hug. Tom was taken aback at the number of words that left your mother’s mouth and her enthusiasm but he smirked amused greeting her as well. You could only roll your eyes at her behaviour.

“Hi, Mum.” You gave her a hug and she ushered the two of you inside where your dad was already waiting. He wasn’t as thrilled as your mother but he greeted Tom in a friendly manner. As long as his daughters were happy with their partners he was happy as well. No need to be the overprotective father, not yet anyway. 

Kate and Daniel were sitting on the couch in the living room as you entered and you could tell that Kate was super excited to meet Tom, she was basically bouncing up and down before she jumped up from the couch with almost as much enthusiasm as your mother when greeting Tom. 

“Hi, Tom. I’m Kate Y/N’s sister.” She shook his hand vigorously. “Such a pleasure to meet you. And I’m not saying that because you’re-... well you. But because I’m so excited to meet Y/N boyfriend! Who would’ve thought.” Tom just nodded along. He didn’t want to show it but he was a bit overwhelmed by your family. He never would’ve thought that it would be so nerve-wracking to meet your fake girlfriend’s family. But it sure as hell was. “I’m so excited for you guys to come to our wedding and-“ She was interrupted by Daniel.

“Kate, love, why don’t you let the two of them sit down.” He put his hands on Kate’s arms and she stopped talking and took a breath letting go of Tom’s hand that she was still shaking. You don’t know how he did it but Daniel always managed to calm your sister down. 

“Oh, of course. Sorry.” She stepped away from Tom a bit, realising how close she had gotten in her excitement. 

“I’m Daniel.” Daniel reached out his hand for Tom to shake. You smiled at Daniel thankfully as he greeted Tom.  

After the initial introductions were over you sat down at the dinner table where your mum had already prepared everything. The dinner itself was pretty relaxed and both your mum and sister managed to keep their questions at a minimum. But you knew that as soon as all the dirty dishes were in the dishwasher the interrogation would begin. It had been the same when Kate brought Daniel home for the first time or any of her previous boyfriends.

Tom had moved his chair back a bit, his right arm placed on the backrest of your chair, the ankle of his right leg casually resting on the knee of his left while his free hand was playing with a napkin on the table. 

Your mum was currently questioning him about what it was like to be a celebrity and you weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed. You were sure that Tom got these questions all the time he was probably so bored of answering them.

“It’s great most of the time. You do get a lot of amazing opportunities and get to see a lot of great places but sometimes it gets a bit much.” He looked at you for a moment. “I like to keep my private life just that, private, but as we all have seen I don’t succeed all the time.” He chuckled lightly. “I really would’ve liked to keep Y/N out of the tabloids. It’s not pretty what happens when they get their hands on someone. Some fans can get a little crazy, too. I don’t want that to affect her. Or us.” He looked at you with such warmth in his eyes that it took your breath away and you couldn’t deny the fluttery feeling in your stomach.

He was good. 

Your mum sighed and your sister was holding her hand against her chest. They were both touched by Tom’s words. And you would be lying if you said you weren’t. 

“But we can’t change that now, can we?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“No, we can’t. And who knows, maybe we wouldn’t even know you guys were dating because Y/N didn’t tell us anything before we saw those pictures.” Kate looked at you accusingly. 

“Hey, I told you I was going on a date, didn’t I? I was going to ease you into it. You know you would’ve had a heart attack if I had just shown up with Tom, telling you that he’s my boyfriend.” You took a deep breath shaking your head, a humourless laugh leaving your lips. “And have you thought about the fact that I maybe wanted to keep him to myself a bit? You two are always all over anybody that just shows the slightest interest in me. Even if it’s just a damn stranger on the street!” You were getting agitated and Tom could feel it, hr moved the hand that was resting on your backrest down to hold yours. You calmed down almost immediately. It was similar to the time he held your hand in the restaurant. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t know it was bothering you so much.” Your mum looked at you with a guilty expression. You took another deep breath.

“It’s okay, mum. I’m sorry I snapped like that.” Your mum sent you a warm smile and reached for your hand.

“But that’s all in the past. You’ve got Tom now.” And just like that, the sparkle was back in your mother’s eyes. 

You excused yourself to the bathroom just to get a break from the situation. When you got back Tom was in an extensive conversation about golf with your father and Daniel. 

You stepped behind Tom’s chair resting your hands on his shoulders while he was listening to a story about your dad’s last trip to the golf course. Without taking his eyes off your father, Tom reached for your wrists and pulled your hands down so you were now hugging him, your face next to his. 

“Are you ready to go?” You whispered not wanting to interrupt your father. 

“Yeah, I’ll just finish my beer and then we can go.” Tom’s eyes moved over your face and you realised that he was looking at your mouth before looking back into your eyes questioningly. 

“Okay.” Your voice was so low that no one could hear you but if they did it sounded like you were answering to Tom’s statement. Only a second later his lips were on yours in a simple peck. You didn’t even have time to close your eyes fully before the kiss was over. One corner of Tom’s mouth lifted into a smile and you gave him another peck before sitting down in your chair again. You tried to blame the feeling you got from that kiss on the fact that you hadn’t kissed anyone in a long time, but deep down you knew that it was because of Tom.

You shoved that thought down as far as possible, you couldn’t be thinking about Tom in that way.  

Part 4

Taglist: 

@jackiehollanderr // @alicethestral // @snowxbarryxendgame // @van-horn-dashner // @sltwins // @yeahimcrying // @ohhhotstan // @heathera101x // @xxnomercy // @bbyxk // @infamousmany // @zabdisamor // @i-show-you-my-world

Let me know if you wanted to be added or taken off :)

[itsalwaysagirl]

Of Memories and Revelations

Fandom: S.W.A.T.

Words: 1552

Characters: Daniel “Hondo” Harrelson, Jessica Cortez

Summary: After a long day, all Hondo could do was think of her.

Thank you to @naimalove143 and @ragdoll-in-command-14 for reading, giving me feedback and telling me I should share it!!!

Read on AO3

“Jessica seems very smart, very pretty,” his mom said as she opened the bag of pastries. “What was wrong with her?”

Hondo brought the cup of coffee over to the table. “Nothing was wrong with her.”

----------

It’s been over a year. Over a year since Hondo saw Jessica. Over a year since she left to work with the FBI. 

He still remembered the breakup, the mornings after hitting the heavy bag until the bruises started getting too painful.

He remembered some nights when he would almost accidentally send her a text asking if she was busy, or getting halfway to her place before noticing where he was and having to turn around.

He would sit at home alone some nights and remember the time they would spend in the firing range together, engaging in easy conversation and friendly competition.

The nights they would go out for drinks, the nights they would spend at his place, the nights they would spend at hers, Hondo remembered them all. And he misses her, more than he would admit to anyone.

----------

It had been a long week, catching a case on Monday and finally solving it on Friday. Monday and Tuesday were busy days, the team chasing down leads, but Wednesday and the first half of Thursday were slow. The case seemed to hit a roadblock. Hicks called them all back in Thursday night when one of Deacon’s old informants contacted him with a tip. They raided the house Friday morning, killing one and arresting the other three suspects. Friday afternoon was spent interrogating the suspects, doing paperwork, and debriefing with Commander Hicks. He still hadn’t found a replacement for Captain Cortez, so Hondo was stuck doing the debrief and extra paperwork.

Hondo was on his way to his car when the thought crossed his mind. Hicks was still trying to find a new captain. Hondo knew that whoever the new captain would be would definitely not be like Jessica. The next captain could be a woman, with soft eyes, a dazzling smile, and have a slight accent. She could be kind and care about every officer in S.W.A.T., but she’d never be Jessica. She could never be the woman Hondo fell in love with.

----------

He showered as soon as he got home. As he scrubbed the last slightly over twenty-four hours from his skin, his mind wandered to his former captain again. He thought about their ‘non-relationship’ before he was promoted to team leader of the 20-David squad. He did not want to call it a relationship, but she did. How different would things be now if they followed the department’s policy and reported their relationship?

Hondo quickly exited the shower and threw on some clothes. His mom had decided to invite his father to her house for dinner for the first time in a long time, and Darryl was working the night shift at his job.

He wasn’t really in the mood for takeout, and he did not find any of the food in the refrigerator appealing. He decided to start cooking. The first thing that came to mind was gumbo. He gathered the ingredients and began cutting vegetables.

“I miss your gumbo,” Jessica said to him once. He was making some for the family placed in S.W.A.T.’s protective custody.

“Whenever you want some you just gotta say the word.” He had replied with a smile. Hondo shook his head with a chuckle as he recalled the memory.

He traded texts every once in a while with her. She would ask him how he’s doing and he’d ask her the same. Phone calls were few and far between. Both of them were busy, but if they did get a chance to speak, they only could for a few minutes before one of them got pulled away again.

That’s how he found himself sitting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees. His eyes were trained on the phone in his hands. Well, specifically the phone number he had dialed, but he hadn’t pressed the ‘call’ button yet.

He stared at the phone for fifteen minutes, contemplating if he should call her. He sighed and was about to press the ‘call’ button when there was a knock on the front door. It wasn’t Darryl, he had his own key. And his mom had a specific knock.

“Coming!” he called, getting up and sliding the phone into his back pocket. The knock pattern stayed in his thoughts as he walked to the door. It was tentative, almost as if the person was not sure if they even wanted to knock in the first place.

Hondo peered through the peephole and froze when he saw who was on the other side. He took a few seconds before opening the door.

She was standing on his doorstep, a suitcase behind her. She ran her left hand through her hair as she stood there.

“Jess.” Hondo’s voice made her eyes look up into his.

He opened the door the rest of the way as he gestured her inside. He grabbed her suitcase and closed the door behind her.

“Your gumbo.” was the first thing she said. She pointed to the two pots on the stove, one with the gumbo and the other with rice.

“Want some? I already ate but I made extra.”

She decided she was tired of waiting and basically jumped into his strong arms. She rested her head on his chest, taking a deep breath. He held her close, reveling in the feeling of having the woman he loved in his arms.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes again, her own filling with tears before she wordlessly walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Hondo stood in the hallway, stunned. He shook himself from his thoughts when he realized she would not be in there long.

She sat down at the table as he poured the gumbo on top of the rice.

“What are you doing here?” Hondo asked as he placed the bowl in front of her.

Jessica ate a few forkfuls of the home-cooked meal before answering. “I just got back from a long mission. I landed from New York about an hour ago.”

“You came straight here?”

Jessica nodded. “I’ve missed you.” She looked up for a moment before finishing the meal. Hondo took the bowl and placed it in the sink. “And before you ask I broke up with David before I went undercover.” Hondo slowly turned around and returned to his seat across from her.

“You did?” Hondo questioned softly. “How did he take it?”

She sighed. “He was disappointed, but he knew that I knew what’s best for me, and it wasn’t his fault.”

“So why did you come straight here then?” Hondo murmured.

“I, um, I needed to see you.” Jessica paused, gathering her thoughts. “When I finished the mission and was told to go home, you were the first person in L.A. I thought about. Not seeing you drove me crazy. Especially when we tried to contact each other but kept getting pulled away.” She stopped again, peering into his brown eyes, with tears filling her own. “I still love you.”

“Maybe down the road, it could be right? I believe that.” she asked softly after they just verbally ended their relationship.

Hondo nodded. “Yeah maybe.” They stared at each other for a moment before he started for the door.

“I never said it before but…” He turned around as she spoke again. “I love you.”

He thought about his next words. “I love you too.”

“Okay.” she whispered with a soft smile.

Hondo stared at her, taking in her appearance. She had on a tank top and jeans and her hair was tied in a ponytail, but she had a cut right above her right eyebrow and looked like she had been crying. He still could not believe that she was here, in his house sitting at his table, after not seeing her for what felt like forever. His heart clenched. “I- I still love you too.” He stood up and moved to her side of the table, extending a hand to help her up into a hug. Sobs wracked her body, and Hondo led them over to the couch. He kissed the side of her head, whispering into her ear. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

Jessica wiped some of the tears off her face, blinking a few times. “I’ll still be working for the FBI, but I’ll be here in Los Angeles for the foreseeable future. If you want, do you think we can catch up before we try ‘us’ again? I don’t want to move too fast.”

Hondo took her hands in his. “I think we can work that out.” She came straight to his place after getting off a six-hour plane ride. He thought about how he was the first person she had wanted to see. Now that they don’t work together anymore, he knew that they could try again. He still hadn’t found anyone to possibly be in a relationship with after the fallout with Nichelle, and he now only wants to be in one with the woman sitting next to him.

He pulled her into another embrace, holding on tightly.

[temilyrights]

the case of us (chapter two)

Summary: The search for Samantha Walden, Readers former best friend, continues! Jack Sloane x Reader.

Word Count: 3880

A/N: Who’d of thought I’d get the second chapter out in less than two weeks? Not me! Anyway, hope you enjoy! Feedback is of course always welcome :) This chapter isn’t as Jack filled as I’d like but I promise that in future chapters you’ll get a lot more Jack/Reader content! 

Read on AO3

Chapters One, Chapter Three

“Finally! I’ve been in here forever.” Florek complains the second you enter interrogation with McGee. You roll your eyes. The man hadn’t even been sitting there for 15 minutes. Neither of you says anything as you make your way to the table, sitting down and dropping the case file. You glare at Florek and he shuffles slightly in his seat. “What’s this about?”

“Why don’t you tell us?” McGee prompts and Florek just narrows his eyes.

“You’re the ones who dragged me away from my sick mother's bedside!”

“Robert Moore” You speak and Florek grounds his teeth, fist tightening in anger on the table. “You know him?” You smirk, opening the case file you begin to slowly flick through it before stopping suddenly. “Oh, that’s right. He’s the man who sent you to prison.”

Florek doesn’t say anything but you can hear his foot tapping from underneath the table. You pull out the letter Sloane had thought could possibly be from Florek and place it in front of him. “Seems like you have a lot of anger about it.”

Florek barely looks at the letter, “I didn’t send that.”

You point out a couple of lines. “And yet these are almost an exact copy of the words you shouted at Moore when you were found guilty...Anyway, it doesn’t really matter if you admit to it if you were ever even in the vicinity of that letter our forensic scientist will find it.” Kasie had actually already looked over the letter and there was no DNA evidence connecting him to it, but he didn’t need to know that.

Florek shuffled in his seat again looking between the two of you. You just raised your eyebrow at him.

“You had to make him suffer right? I mean he sent you to Prison.” McGee begins. Trying to goad the man into saying something incriminating. “He’s the reason your wife left and took away your children.” Florek’s fists tighten harder and he glares at McGee.

“Damn right. Asshole deserves to have a little fear in him.” Florek smirks proudly. Gotcha.

“So that’s why you kidnapped his daughter right? To teach him a lesson.”

Florek’s eyes widened in surprise “Whoa! What? No way! No one said anything about kidnapping!”

“I mean I understand wanting to make him suffer. It’s ok...You just need to tell us where she is before this goes any further” You soothe.

“Are you guys crazy! I didn’t kidnap anyone!” Florek’s spluttering now, desperate for you both to believe him.

“Then tell us where you were at around 2 pm on Sunday.” You cross your arms across your chest, leaning back in your chair.

“I was at the hospital like I am every day! There’s gotta be cameras, there right? You can check that! I didn’t do this!” It was your turn to ground your teeth in annoyance.

--

“Fuck sake!” You shout, wringing your hands, as the door to interrogation closes behind you.

“There isn’t a guarantee he’s innocent. We’ll get Kasie to check the footage.” Bishop tries to soothe you as she exits the observation room and comes to join you and McGee.

“You saw his face. He’s innocent and now we’re back to having zero suspects!” Bishop reaches her hand out to your arm, but you step away. “I’m going to go see if Kasie has anything.” You’re already walking away but you still hear the sigh McGee releases.

Kasie’s office is empty when you get down there, all the lights and computers turned off. You frown, pulling out your phone to text her.

Hey. I’m here for an update on the phone? Where are you? 

The reply is almost instant.

Gone home. The phone was a lot more damaged than I expected. Turns out it had fallen into a puddle. Leaving it in rice overnight. Should have an update by the time you get to the office tomorrow. 

You sigh, jamming your phone back into your pocket and head back to the bullpen. It’s just after 7 now and the office is basically empty apart from the team.

“Alright. Everyone home. We’ll pick up tomorrow.” Gibbs speaks as you enter. The other three go-to move but hesitate when they see you.

“Go home? Sam’s still out there!” You protest outraged. How many times has Gibbs made you all stay here all night with a case like this?

“There’s nothing else to be done tonight.”

“We could go through records-”

“It’s all been done Y/N. Go home. Get some rest.” Gibbs is turning off his own computer now and the rest of the team begin to do the same.

You shake your head. “Unbelievable.” Turning off your own computer and grabbing your stuff you run off to the elevator and descending before the rest of the team can move.

--

You toss and turn the whole night unable to relax. Memories of Sam play through your head continuously and you end up pulling out an old photo album and looking through photos of the pair of you from back at college. All it does is make your heart hurt and before you know it your sobbing deeply, hardly able to breathe.

All of this was too much. You didn’t know what you’d do if Sam wasn’t found. But when she is, what will the fallout be? Seeing her again...you didn’t know if you could do it. You wish none of this had happened.

You eventually put the album back away and try to go back to sleep. You only manage a couple of hours before you’re awake again. You give up on sleep, instead deciding to get up and shower. It’s not even 6 am.

There’s no point in hanging around your house so you instead go to work, stopping at your favourite coffee shop on the way to grab a drink and your favourite breakfast snack. You're ridiculously early so you aren’t surprised the rest of the team isn’t in, but you spot Kasie’s car and after dropping your bag off at your desk, and throwing away your now empty coffee cup, you head to the lab.

“Morning Kase.” You smile at the woman who was currently drinking her own coffee.

“Hey! You’re here early.” Kasie jumps slightly turning around to face you.

“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep.” You shrug ignoring the sad smile Kasie offers you. “Could say the same for you.”

“Wanted to get the phone sorted, and you’re in luck by the way!” Kasie turns to the phone sitting on the table in front of her and you come and stand beside her. “Samantha’s been getting a lot of hang-up calls over the last month and there was this…” Kasie clicks a voicemail on the phone. It’s quiet but after a second or two, you can hear deep male breathing.

You frown and Kasie pauses it. “Yeah, it’s just that for a minute or so before it disconnects.”

“So, you are thinking a stalker? Any way to track it?”

“It seems possible.” Kasie shrugs. “The phone is turned off but if it does turn back on again, we’ll definitely be able to.”

You thank Kasie and head back up to the bullpen. You’re just sitting down at your desk when your phone rings. You don’t recognise the number.

“Special Agent Y/N.”

“Hey Y/N.” You instantly still, swallowing roughly at Felicity’s voice. “Sorry for phoning so early but do you have an update on Sam?” You can hear the anxiety and tiredness in her voice, and you know she probably got even less sleep than you last night.

“We ruled out a few people. Did Sam mention getting hang-up calls over the last month?”

You can hear the surprise in Felicity’s voice when she speaks. “No, she never mentioned anything. Do you think it could be connected?”

“It’s definitely a-”

“Oh, would you shut up!” Felicity hisses and your eyes widen in surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“That wasn’t at you, sorry. There’s been this weird beeping noise around the house the last week or so and I’ve got no idea where it’s coming from.” Felicity sighs.

“Did anyone ever come and check your house?”

“No. Honestly I'm sure it’s nothing, just batteries that need changing somewhere.”

“Let’s be sure ok? Once the team gets in, we’ll come over and do a sweep.” Felicity agrees and ends the call. You spend the next half hour finishing the report on Daniel Florek’s interrogation yesterday and it’s not long before people start filing into the building.

Sloane appears first not at all surprised to see you sitting at your desk. She passes you a cup of fresh coffee. “Didn’t know how you took it, so I brought milk and sugar sachets too”

“Thanks” you smile, taking the outstretched sachets, you tip in one milk and then three sugars and then look to Sloane who’s perched herself on the side of your desk.

“Ah! A fellow sugar lover” The blonde laughs. “I was sure you’d already be here. Did you get any sleep last night?” She asks laughter now replaced with concern.

“A few hours.” You answer truthfully, rolling your eyes as her concern increases. You both continue to chat for a bit, and it isn’t long before the rest of the team begins to file in.

Torres is just putting down his bag, the last to arrive, when you tell the team about your conversation with Felicity and also Kasie. “Ok. McGee, Y/N. Let’s go.” Gibbs signals, standing from his desk. Torres breathes a sigh of relief flopping into his chair and Ellie just rolls her eyes at him.

“Mind if I tag along as well?” Sloane looks between you and Gibbs.

“Whatever Jack” Gibbs shrugs. The blonde mutters something under her breath. You don’t quite catch it, but you see her roll her eyes which prompts you to smother a laugh. She looks at you, her face lightening into her own smile before tapping your desk and standing up. “Ok. Let’s go!”

--

You were grateful they’d moved to a new house, unsure how you’d cope with going to a place that held so many memories. You all separate through the house; you take the living room and Felicity stands by the door as you search.

It’s a lovely house, simplistic with lots of flashes of bright colours and so very Sam and Felicity. You can’t help but walk over to the photo frames filling one of the walls. Your eyes widen in surprise when you fall on an old photo of you and Sam at graduation. That ache in your chest is back and you quickly look away, clearing your throat and focusing properly on the room.

You start looking through the shelves and you frown noticing a small camera hidden in amongst some trinkets. Just as you grab it McGee shouts from another room “Got a camera!”

After everyone’s finished searching there’s a combination of 7 devices, mostly cameras but also a couple of listening devices as well. Each one is bagged up and McGee heads back to base to get them to Kasie.

“I can’t believe it…” Felicity’s in shock and Sloane reaches out, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

“Can you think of anyone who had access to your house over the last few months?”

“That would do this? I’ve got no idea!”  

“Fe” You sigh and then immediately clear your throat at the use of her nickname, Felicity’s eyes snap to yours and she offers a weak smile “Just think...it could be anyone? Have you had any work done in the house recently?”  

Felicity’s eyes light up “Oh! We had a plumber a couple of months ago. He came over two or three times because he had to do work in our bathroom, but I never met him, Sam dealt with it all.” Felicity begins to rummage through a filing cupboard. “I should have something with their business name on...Ah-ha!”  She pulls out a letter, bringing it over and handing it to you.

“Brody’s Plumbing” You read “Ok, we’ll check them out.”

You turn to leave “Wait!” Felicity speaks and you turn back to face her. She bites her lip nervously “A-are you sure you’ve got all the devices?”

Your gaze softens “Yes but go stay with Robert if you don’t feel safe here.” Felicity nods “Do you want someone to wait while you pack a bag?”

“No, it’s fine” Felicity shakes her head. “Just go find her.” You reach out, squeezing the woman's hand lightly, before turning and following Gibbs and Sloane out of the building.

Now with only one car as McGee had taken the other all 3 of you head to the plumbers. You text McGee to let him know and he tells you he’ll get Bishop and Torres to start looking into it, he’s just got back and going to join Kasie with the cameras.

--

It’s a short drive and when you enter the building you find an employee straight away “NCIS” You, Gibbs and Sloane all-flash your badges. “Who is the manager?”

“You’re talking to him! Brody Kilmer” The large man holds out his hand to shake, a wide smile on his face. “How can I help you guys?” The man leads you all to his office.

“We need to speak to one of your employee’s. The man who worked on Samantha and Felicity Walden's house a few months ago.”

“Sure, let me look it up.” The man turns to his computer and you begin to tap your foot impatiently. Your eyes turn to Gibbs who gives you a look that clearly says calm down. Your foot freezes and you turn back to look at Brody. “Ah” The man finally says, and you notice how he clears his throat awkwardly “Stephen Humphrey is the man you’re looking for, but he no longer works here.”

“Why is that?” Sloane speaks from next to you.

“There was an issue a couple of weeks ago, a client complained that they’d caught Stephen going through their bedroom. I’d confronted him about it, and he flipped out. I fired him.”

“Were there any other incidents like this?” Gibbs asks.

“No, but if I’m being honest, he did give off a creepy vibe.”

“Do you have his address?” Brody looks it up on his computer, reading it out to you all. You search up the location in your phone and discover its only 30 minutes away.

-- Your phone rings just as Gibbs sets the car to drive. “Y/N” You answer.

“It’s McGee. We’ve traced the cameras to the house of-”

“Stephen Humphrey. Yeah, we’re heading there now. Humphrey was the plumber.”

“Right” McGee chuckles. You hear Kasie’s distorted voice over the line and McGee then changes to speakerphone.

“Stephen Humphrey. Never been arrested-” You set your own phone to speakerphone so Sloane and Gibbs can hear “-although he has multiple restraining orders. The most recent one being from an ex-girlfriend last year.”

“Any reports of violence?” Sloane asks from her seat in the front.

“None but he’s known to have a temper.” You say goodbye to McGee and Kasie and end the call and not long later you’re pulling up outside Humphreys house. Guns drawn Gibbs instructs you go around the back of the house in case he tries to run, Gibbs and Sloane will enter through the front.

“Stephen Humphrey. NCIS, open up!” You hear Gibbs yell. There’s no response and you can’t see or hear any movement from inside. Gibbs knocks in the front door and you do the same to the back door. You hear Gibbs and Sloane both shout ‘clear!’ as they check the house.

You enter the last room, the bedroom, and falter in shock at Humphrey’s walls. You quickly clear the room, shouting out ‘got something!’ and going back to standing in the middle of the room to focus on the wall. The whole wall is covered with surveillance photos of Sam. They’re in a range of locations, her house, school, just on the streets and even a few from the outside of Robert’s house.

“Oh wow,” Sloane says when she enters the room, Gibbs is behind her and looks equally stunned.

“He hasn’t been here for a few days,” Gibbs says, and you lift your eyebrows in question. “Gone off take-out and the mail’s started to collect.”

“Right cause they can never make it easy.” You sigh. The three of you make quick work of photographing and collecting the evidence. There are more photos dotted around the house, also the hard drives and computer where he’d been storing all the surveillance footage from Sam and Felicity’s home.  

When you get back to the office it’s lunchtime. Sloane disappears back to her office and you stop in the break room to grab a snack from the vending machine, it would have to do for now. You’re just arriving back to the bullpen when Gibbs barks “Update” He’s got coffee and you’re wondering when he had the time because it’s not the shitty stuff from the office. You walk over to stand next to him as you all congregate around the screen and Gibbs shoves another cup of coffee into your hands. You smile up at him gratefully before turning your attention to the screen as McGee begins to talk.

He informs you all that the BOLO had been issued and that him and Kasie had finished going through the cameras, they didn’t get any new information, just proof that they were Humphrey’s as his fingerprints were all over them and also that they’d been filming for about 8 weeks, so from when they hired him to fix their bathroom. Bishop confirms the hang-up calls started the same time as when Humphrey was fired from his job, probably the trigger for the escalation.

“Family?” Gibbs asks and Torres quickly begins to speak.

“No siblings and his father died 10 years ago to cancer. So just his mother, however, she’s living in a care home in DC. She moved there last year but before that, she was living with Humphrey.”

“No other properties?” You ask, biting your lip anxiously.

“There’s a storage unit the mother owned but unsure if it’s still hers. Waiting for the business to phone me back...” Gibbs just stares at Torres “...Or I could phone them again now.” Torres spins around and grabs his office phone.

While Torres is doing that Bishop informs you all that he owns a handgun. You didn’t find it at the house which meant it was almost definitely with him.

“They own the storage locker, the man on the desk said he’s seen Humphrey going back and forth over the last week,” Torres speaks, hanging up the phone. Everyone quickly jumps into action then and less than 5 minutes later you’re on the way to the storage unit.

You all quickly make your way down the aisles of units, silently stopping around the corner to see if you can see anything. The unit door is closed but you can see it’s unlocked. McGee and Torres get ready to lift the door, while the rest of you stand to the side just in case.

“NCIS” is shouted as the doors open and immediately a bullet flies forwards, it hits the wall missing you all. You finally turn the corner to see the room and your eyes immediately fall to Sam who whimpers, tears falling down her face. Her wrists and ankles are strapped to a chair. You can’t see her injuries too well from the lighting, but you can tell she’s covered in bruises and there a deep bloody wound on her head.  You can tell she’s been trying to fight back the entire time.

Humphrey is crouching behind Sam to avoid giving any of you a line of shot. He’s got a gun in one hand pointed towards all of you and a knife in the other held tightly against Sam’s throat.

“Put down the gun Stephen. We can all walk out of here alive if you put the gun down.” Bishop speaks, As you and Torres try to shuffle to the side of the room in hopes of finding a better angle.

Sam’s only half-conscious, her head wobbling side to side. You just needed her to drop her head and you’d have a line of shot. Humphrey notices Torres moving closer and turns the gun to him. “Stop moving. I’ll shoot!” Torres stills but you take another step forward. The man turns to look at you before holding the gun to the ceiling and shooting. “I said stop!”

Everyone stills and Bishop is back to soothing the man and you can see him beginning to calm down, the knife in his hand has lowered slightly to the base of Sam’s neck. Humphrey still has the gun trained in the direction of the team. His head pokes to the side of Sam’s, giving Torres and McGee a line of shot.

One of them shoots. Humphrey jerks, his hand tightening on the knife and slamming into Sam before he falls backwards. Sam screams and blood exits her mouth causing her to choke. You run towards her, belting your gun and fall to your knees, your hands apply pressure around the knife still in her neck to try and slow the bleeding.

There are tears streaming down your face. “I’ve got you, Sam, just stay awake ok? I’ve got you.” Sam's head begins to roll forward and you abandon your hold on her neck to her head to stop it from falling and hope the movement doesn’t make the damage worse. She’s still choking on blood and your hands shake as she struggles to say your name.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” You repeat over and over again in a mantra. Someone has untied Sam from the chair and her hand reaches out to weakly grip your arm. You bite your lip hard to stop a sob escaping your mouth.

What feels like hours, but in reality is only a couple minutes, someone grabs your shoulder and tugs lightly.

“Let go Y/N. The EMT’s have her.” You shakily stand up and step back, a hand immediately coming to replace your own around Sam’s head.

They stabilise the knife in a neck before transferring her onto a gurney. You turn around and realise the person who’d been supporting your shaking body was Gibbs, his hand drops from your shoulder.

“I’ve-I’ve...” There are still tears rolling down your face, and your hands and clothes are covered in blood. You don’t know what to do as you stutter looking between Gibbs, your own hands, and Sam, who the EMT’s are beginning to wheel from the room.

“Go.” Gibbs nods. You needed to contact Felicity and Robert. “We’ll call them. Go Y/N.”

You nod weakly and run after the gurney. Swallowing deeply as you jump into the back of the ambulance, you grab Sam’s hand squeezing tightly. She’s passed out now. “You’ve got to make it Sammy. Ok? Fe and Dad, they need you.” Sam starts coding and you jump back in your seat as the EMT begins CPR. Tears continue to stream down your face as you try to choke back your strangled sobs. She had to make it. She had too. 

[rockcfellers]

 /   let  me  introduce  you  to  a  prized  member  of  our   student government   ,   arden rockefeller .  this   cisfemale  virgo   has  been  a  student  at  our  institution for   seven years   and  is  currently  a  21  year  old   junior.   through  the  halls ,   she  has   always  reminded  me  of   danielle rose russell  ,   but  there  is  always  more  than  meets  the  eye ,   like  the  fact  that  she managed to get somene’s admission to cape coral deferred a year for her own benefit .  coral  cape  has  made  their  future  just  as  bright  as  their  smile ,   i  assure  you .  ʼ      (   muse 10 ,  adri ,  19 ,  cst ,  she/her   )

go on, replace me, when you’re craving something sweeter than the words i left in your mouth, go on and spit me out

NAME — arden olivia rockefeller.

NICKNAMES — n/a? 

PRONOUNS — she/her.

AGE & DOB — 21 & august 23, 1998.

PLACE OF BIRTH — new york city, new york.

NATIONALITY — american.

MAJOR — psychology & political science.

EDUCATION — cape coral international school.

CLUBS — student government, unicef campus initiative, and lacrosse.

* background overview !

arden is twins with her brother, neels, both first born to this half of the rockefeller generation (he’s older by several minutes, but she’ll never attest to that) they’ve always been kinda close but never attached at the hip.

you know, i honestly feel like she had a fairly decent? childhood? like nothing was really wrong, just that her parents were always busy and never really gave the attention they should’ve to young children. 

she was typically always very bright and cheery to everyone, evoking a “your daughter’s so sweet” from most people she met, which felt like the biggest compliment to her, because it meant that someone thought she was nice even if they disliked the rest of her family for any given reason, kind of like a twisted self worth?

her parents definitely would’ve preferred she did something that seemed more feminine, but arden found a love for kickboxing and later lacrosse, the two sports a great place for her to channel her energy into, letting her mellow out when she’s going through her day to day routine.

arden’s still figuring out how to be both who she’s expected to be and who she wants to be without facing any real repercussions, but hasn’t quite gotten that part down yet.

it was always known she could come to cape coral, considering her family, but she’s lowkey really grateful that she was given the opportunity to study what she wanted where she wanted. 

that being said.... she’s still kinda a bitch. i mean, someone she knew from outside of cape coral wanted to applied and had gotten accepted, but arden had worried that they would interfere from her getting idk maybe a spot in the student government or accepted into her research program etc etc, so she talked to her grandfather and had their admission deferred a year so that her studies wouldn’t be affected.

* personality !

okay so,,,she is New so i’m still working out all the kinks but for the most part, she’s just.. neutral

before, she used to be like aggressively happy and cheery and nice. probably to compensate for the fact that everyone around her just seemed so mean.

she’s always hated being seen as weaker than or less than anyone else, which is partially why she’s taken up lacrosse and boxing, much to her grandfather’s distaste. 

now she’s more focused on herself and is capable of being able to brush off any kind of comment that comes from people she doesn’t feel like directly affect her, which isn’t a great mentality to have but neither is caring too much about what other people think

the part of her that was very kind and viewed life with a sweet naivety is there, but heavily guarded and buried. she just feels like, it’s not something that’ll do her much good rather than leave her looking a mess or fool when someone takes advantage of it.

she’s like,,,the person that isn’t afraid to knock you down a few pegs but will do so with the sweetest smile on her face to really seal the deal. 

she found an interest in politics, actually hating the way things were run but really enjoying finding out why people did and voted and favored the things they did, so she’s double majoring in psychology and political science

she tries to do everything on her own and hates asking for help, like even when she really needs to, but it’s mostly because really needing someone makes her uneasy because she’s always wondering if they’re going to leave her eventually or if they’re just using her or if they really don’t care about her the way she cares for them

that being said, she’s loyal as all hell to her loved ones. like will literally help you get away with murder if you asked her for help, once you’ve reached that point you are absolutely important to her.

* character tropes !

so she’s basically the maiden in the sense that she’s typically overly self confident and finds herself in positions where she’s stuck and needs help, whether it’s being in too many things at once and being too spread out or like in actual danger. arden heavily takes after her parents in the sense that she wants to be wholly capable of taking care of herself, the feeling of being dependent on someone making her uneasy. because of this, she finds herself in situations that could’ve been completely avoided if she had just taken a step off her high horse and admitted or realized she couldn’t do it on her own. the confidence she exhibits today was a learned trait however, arden getting her heartbroken by someone she had really loved taught her how to be comfortable with herself and just be a Badass, but protect the softer side to herself from then on.

* playlist !

wasabi — little mix:

stick like toffee, sip like coffee wake up, change your mind and drop me love to hate me, crazy, shady spit me out like hot wasabi lick me up, I'm sweet and salty mix it up and down my body love to hate me, praise me, shame me either way you talk about me

arden’s a strong believer in the quote by william shakespeare “love me or hate me, both are in my favour. If you love me, i will always be in your heart… if you hate me, i’ll always be in your mind.” she’s really aware of how she can come across as, but is really selective in who she cares to spend time showing her full self to. everyone else and every other opinion gets taken with a grain of salt. she’s definitely had friends that only used her for her name and then dropped her once they were done,she wasted no time moving on.

hold me while you wait — lewis capaldi:

i wish you'd cared a little more (hold me while you wait) i wish you'd told me this before (hold me while you wait) my love, my love, my love, my love won't you stay a while? (hold me while you wait)

a few years ago, she was in a relationship where she had cared a little bit too much about what they thought of her, finding herself seeking their approval for everything, truly believing this person was the sun. she fell hard and fast for them and they took advantage of this and cheated on her, thinking that they would get away with it… and they did for a while. arden tried to excuse it because of how much she loved them, but was starting to feel like she was never going to be good enough for them, but staying with them until things ultimately came to an end, still holding onto the hope that things would change. eventually she realized that she couldn’t keep holding onto that relationship forever and things ended.

winter — relic:

where am i going? i can’t see nothing but the road that’s out in front of me i think it’s snowing

arden’s the worst at multitasking and it shows even in her life. she’s very one track minded and knows what she wants out of it, but only sees one way to get there, so everything that’s the tiniest bit off her track, she gets thrown off completely and needs someone to just nicely push her back in the direction she was headed.

* aesthetics !

candle lights, the breathlessness felt when seeing big city skylines, scrunchies, tart strawberries dipped in sugar, iced coffee in mason jars, long swooping cursive, high-waisted jeans, half opened jewelry boxes, setting a new pen against fresh paper, standing outside during the middle of a sun-shower, tucked in shirts, a hand reaching out to catch you when you fall, golden hour. 

* wanted plots !

i’m the worst at coming up with things but,,,,, here’s a few 

general friends: honestly some from childhood, some from high school, others from college, give me New friend with the people coming on scholarship, anything

best friends: someone that’s been by her side for years, someone she’d literally trust with her whole life

ride or dies: honestly what it says, maybe like two or three of them that have been through the thick and thin of it but still have a really strong friendship in the end?

confidant: honestly, probably someone she’s close with, but doesn’t see on a regular basis? maybe they just box together from time to time to blow off steam? it helps if they’re not someone she’d see all the time, that way she’s not constantly staring her admission in the face

bad influence: someone who can teach her to let go and get out more, care even less about what others think, especially her parents. even if that’s taking her to parties or drinking/smoking alone in a room

exes ( good, bad, anything in between ): you know the drill, hit me with the good angst. (male, female, nb)

roommate ( probably a cape coral student ): arden doesn’t like needing people but that doesn’t mean she wants to be alone, they probably have a pretty nice place together ngl. i picture it being really cozy and nicely decorated?

hook ups: you also know this drill, sometimes you gotta blow off steam. (male, female, nb)

[head-full-of-things]

‘With Great Power...’ teaser, a secret santa gift

Hey guys! I'm in @bazwillendinflames LIS2 Secret Santa.

I got the amazing Stef aka @ladyofthecreed. Your request was for wholesome Daniel and Sean on the road to Karen's comminity after ep 4, but I saw how sad you were after ep 5 and Redemption so I wanted to cheer you up, as well as all of us who got it, with something more fun.  Of course it started as fun and then I actually started writing and it also made me cry haha

The basic premise is 16 year old Daniel post Redemption, who decided to use his powers for good and becomes the superhero of Beaver Creek! This is a scene, a sneak peek if you will, from the fic. I'm posting the sneak peek here for you guys, and when the full fic comes up I'll post it here as well as on AO3.

And @bazwillendinflames thank you so much for organizing this! It's a really cool activity for the fandom. Oh and for giving me a gift fic of course

I hope you'll like it 😊

Note - before this scene Daniel saves his classmate with his powers.

-----

It was the longest, most confusing three days of Daniel’s life, as he had to wait until Tuesday, which is visitation day, to finally talk to Sean and tell him what happened. He spent them doing what he usually did—schoolwork, hanging out with Chris (who kept asking him to repeat every detail of what happened, writing it all down in his notes app), and helping his grandparents. But while usually it was more than enough to fill his days, now he found it couldn’t calm this feeling that was threatening to blow up inside of him. He saved Jason’s life. This brought him back to when he was thirteen at that school trip, when he lifted the school bus enough for it to get away from that cliff. It’s strange, when he first got these powers, on the run with Sean, he used to thinking about them as mostly as a way to destroy or attack. Sure, in his time in Haven Point Lisbeth told him it was a gift, that he was meant to do good in the world, but that woman was badshit crazy so it doesn’t really count. And after he got back to Beaver Creek, he did his best to hide them. But now he used them for good, and he really liked this feeling. 

So yeah, he couldn’t wait to tell Sean, but he also felt terrible fear washing over him every time he thought about actually telling him. How is he supposed to just go there and say: ’Hi bro, remember how you sacrificed the best years of your life so that I wouldn’t be in trouble with the law? Well funny story…’

And so he waited for Tuesday to come but also hoped it’d never come.

Time worked as usual though. The day arrived, and Daniel once again took the bus to prison. When he met Sean he kept quiet. Sean didn’t seem to notice his nervousness though, they spoke for a few minutes, about Daniel’s school life and how the big test went. Then Sean told him a joke that he heard from his cell mate Carl four days ago. He kept laughing as he was trying to tell it. Daniel thought that still laughing about a joke four days later seemed like too much. But who knows, maybe he was just too stressed at the moment to appreciate it.

He sneaked a look at the guard, who again was completely immersed in his game on the phone and not paying attention to anything that went on in front of him. This was his shot. He leaned closer to Sean and spoke quietly: “Listen, I gotta tell you something.”

Sean’s eyes lifted. “Yeah?”

He told him the events of what happened, and as he did a big smile rose on Sean’s face. Daniel expected shock or maybe fear from him, but certainty not the amused look he gave him.

“Wait… You don’t look surprised.”

“Well, we had a TV hour at the cafeteria. ’Local teen saved under mysterious circumstances. Only clue to the identity of his saviour is a drawing of a wolf found at scene.’ Dude that shot with the drawing on the floor was on loop the whole day,” he said with a laugh, keeping his voice low.

Daniel grimaced. “Oh man. So why didn’t you tell me you knew? Let me talk about the Algebra test for an hour like an idiot.”

“Look I just… Didn’t want you to feel you have to tell me. It’s your superpower after all. You’re grown now, and I know I’m not that much a main figure in your life anymore, with me being here, and....”

He frowned. “Don’t. Say. That. Ever. Do you hear me? We’re the wolf brothers remember? It’s forever. Plus you know that if it wasn’t for your help with my power back then, I wouldn’t have a clue how to control them in the first place.”

Sean gave him half a smile.

He smiled too. But he had to ask him a question, and he did, barely getting the words out of his mouth. “Sean, are you disappointed at me?”

Sean’s eyebrows went up. “What? Why?”

“I mean, you practically gave up everything in order for me to have a normal life, and here I am putting it all in danger. I mean look at what happened, I wasn’t careful enough and now I’m all over the news.”

“Why would I be? This is the most publicity a drawing of mine ever got,” he laughed, but stopped when he saw Daniel’s very not amused face. “I’m not disappointed of you Daniel, I’m proud, because you put your secret in risk to protect someone who needed help. You’re a good person.”

He let out the air he was holding.

“You know, when we were on the run and I found out you had this crazy power, I have to say I was terrified. Not of you, but… Of the responsibility, I guess. Remember when you took that hula doll from Brody? I understood then that you were looking to me on how to behave. I was so busy with keeping you alive and well taken care of that I didn’t even realise that with Dad gone, I also need to teach you those kinds of things. And with the… Added flavor of you having a power that could blow up anything in the thirty feet radius, I knew that if I fucked that up, it would have bigger consequences than when other people do a bad job raising their kids. But at the end of the day, I did a pretty good job if I can say so myself.” He smiled and let a small laugh. “And what you did yesterday? It just proves that to me even more. And it also proves to me that I made the right choice that day… At the border.”

That day at the border they almost never spoke about it, and when they did Sean always said it in a hushed, soft tone. Just hearing these words brought back the feeling—the heat on his skin from the bright sun, and the tears on his face. The sound of the sirens that didn’t fucking stop to let them think, or say goodbye properly. And more than anything, the great love he felt for Sean, that his body was almost too small to contain.

It was their last moment together alone, without an annoying person standing a few meters from them to make sure they don’t get too close. 

Sean gave up everything for him, and hearing that he doesn’t regret it… Shit he didn’t realize how much he needed to hear it until now. He felt tears stuck in his throat as he said “All this time I was so afraid Sean, that you…”

“Shh, it’s ok,” Sean said. They leaned forward so that their foreheads touched, and stayed like this for a while. While still being like this, Sean continued speaking softly, making sure the guard still doesn’t hear them. “Daniel I need you to know, that I didn’t do this for you to have a normal life. I did it for you to have your life. I knew you needed a family, a stable environment and school. A friend like Chris. I wanted you to not have to fight anymore, or use your power for me or anyone else. Only if you do it by your own choice.”

He nodded, lifting his head to look at Sean with tears in his eyes.

“I also told you that day to remember who you are. Remember? So don’t try to be what Grandma wants you to be. Don’t even try to be what I want you to be, ok enano? Be yourself.”

He let out a bitter chuckle. “I’m not even sure I know who that is anymore.”

Sean looked him straight in the eyes. “Not anymore. Yet.” When they noticed that the guard saw them being so close and lifted his sight from his phone to watch what they’re doing they separated, Sean’s sending a hand to ruffle Daniel’s hair a bit as he pulled away.

“You guys got 5 more minutes!” the guard called, and they both sighed. There was something else that he had to tell Sean, so he had to say it now. “Sean, I think I liked it. Using my…”—He had to be careful in what he says now—”Skills for good. I want to do it again.” Now that he said that he realised that, In a way, he knew this since the moment he saved Jason, or maybe somehow all these years in Beaver Creek.

Sean leaned forward. “Alright, what do you want to do then?”

“Well I’ve been thinking, maybe I could take a tour around the town once in a while, see if anybody needs help. And if they do, help them in a sneaky way so they won’t see me.”

“Like superhero patrol?” ??

He laughed. “Yeah, or something like that.” He thought about it for a second. “Man, Chris is going to freak out when he hears this. But imagine if Grandma finds out, she won’t let me leave the room for maybe… A whole year.” 

“Don’t worry, it was pretty easy for me because I know about your powers. You can count on one finger really the amount of people who even know about your power,  not to mention that you live here. As long as it stays like that you’re safe. Just… Promise me that whatever superhero shenanigans you’re doing, you’ll be more careful from now on, alright?”

They’ve had their share of promises between them on the year of their journey to Mexico. Every promise Sean made to him he tried to keep, so Daniel was going to take this promise seriously. He nodded. “I promise.”

They stood up and hugged, Daniel once again trying to take as much of Sean as he can, and as Sean went back to his cell, being led by the guard, he turned around and told him “I believe in you enano. I love you.”

“Love you bro,” he yelled back.

On his way out of the facility the sky was black but full of stars. Grandma always said that you can see the stars here in a way you simply can’t in the big city.  Karen said it was true, but you can see a lot more in the desert. But today Daniel focused on something else. As the bus got to the station and he took a seat, he spent the whole ride smiling and looking at the distant lights that he knew came from Beaver Creek, the town he was going to protect.

[writehardwhumpharder]

Carson vs. Low Blood Sugar

Set in the past when Carson was in college and had a class with Daniel which is how they met. They are 22 and 21 here. I basically just wrote this because I’m going to university now so Carson is back at uni too.

When the professor asked them to form groups of four for the upcoming project, Carson naturally partnered up with the only person in the class he'd spoken two words to - Danny. The weird guy that still sits next to him despite all the other open seats and Carson’s obvious discomfort. But Carson was quick to believe the lie that the open seats were farther back and he wouldn't be able to see the board as well. Sure Carson could move, but he was far too stubborn for that.

The room erupted in groans when the teacher announced the group project. Everyone assumed everyone else was just going to slack off and force them to do the work of all four people. Daniel wasn't too sure about being in a group with Carson himself because even though he was studious and had good grades, it was entirely possible he'd sleep through every group session and just shrug it off later.

Two girls who sat in the row in front of them asked to join since it made the most sense. They introduced themselves as Kelsey and Ava and smiled shyly at the two guys.

Carson's interest in them ended at, "Sure, whatever." And Daniel's interest ended at Carson. Unfortunately it didn't seem like they would be spared any of the awkwardness that came with group projects.

"We should exchange numbers, so we can make plans to meet up." Kelsey suggested.

"Yeah and we can meet at the library, there's a cafe there too if anyone wants food or coffee." Ava chimed in.

"Sounds good," Daniel said. Then they passed around their phones sharing info. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't secretly happy to be handed the perfect excuse for getting Carson's number. Daniel had been thinking of asking him for the last few weeks but figured he'd be shut down with something like, "Sorry man, I don't have a phone number" while quickly shoving his iPhone into the pocket of his hoodie. If he wasn't so God damn cute Daniel would have given up already seeing what a piece of work he was. Eventually he'd find out why he was so cold to people.

After each group was formed and picked a topic the professor let them go half an hour early. Carson put in his earbuds and prepared to make a run for it but Daniel subtly blocked his path.

"So what do you think of this project?" He asked.

Carson paused and sighed, "Shouldn't be too hard if everyone has read the assigned reading. You did do the reading right?"

Danny rubbed the back of his neck, "Of course I did." He said unconvincingly.

"Good." With that Carson left.

--

The group made plans to meet two days later at the group study rooms on the fifth floor of the library.

Saturday was surprisingly beautiful. The weather was nice for Fall and Carson could feel the sun on his skin as soon as he stepped outside. Too bad he'd spend the whole day working on a stupid project about the popularity of tragedies in Shakesperian Era writing.

When he got to the library Danny was standing outside leaning against the building. He pushed off when he saw him and pulled something out of his pocket. Carson reached for the door but stopped cold when a printed copy of a news article was thrust in front of him.

Daniel looked at him excitedly, "Is this you?"

Carson stared down at it and had to quickly restrain his reaction. He recognized it immediately. The article was from his local paper when he was 14, the title read, "Local Boy Defies Physics Stopping Car from Hitting a Child."

Daniel had spent the previous night cyberstalking Carson after he finally finished all the assigned reading. There was absolutely no trace of him on social media but he did find several odd news articles. His name was also listed by the college as a Graduate of Human Biology.

"Yeah that's me, but every word in that article is false. I hope you didn't waste too much time reading it," Carson said dryly. He sidestepped him and walked into the library. It was practically deserted. Not having an actual excuse for the claims in the article, Carson really hoped he could avoid it altogether.

"It says that a car was heading towards an eight year old girl when it suddenly stopped, the front crumpled in like it hit an invisible wall a mere foot away from collision. There's even a picture. The car is stopped in the middle of the road with nothing else around it but it's beat to shit. Then that looks like you, kind of, maybe."

Carson's eyes dulled like this conversation was utterly exhausting. "If you're that curious, the car in the picture swerved to hit another car to protect the child crossing the street. The first car drove away in a hit and run. And if you want the real gossip, I'm pretty sure it was my history teacher." Carson said. Everyone in his town knew what he was and jumped on the chance to blame him as often as they could so he got used to lying on his feet.

"Really? I guess that makes sense. But why does it say that you passed out on the scene and got taken to the hospital. I mean, there was a whole car accident and you were the only person that got hurt?" He laughed.

Carson shot him a murderous glare, "It was very surprising." Daniel looked down at the ground in shame.

"Sorry..."

"Kids came up with a lot of rumors and bullied me until the rest of the town believed them. I bet this isn't only paper you found making crazy accusations."

Once inside Carson headed towards the cafe instead of the group study rooms.

"Well, sorry to hear that. So were you bullied a lot in school then?" He asked curiously. Daniel was determined to figure him out and he couldn't do that without striking a nerve or two.

"You sure ask a lot of questions."

Carson got in line with Daniel following closely behind. He finally went quiet after that last remark. It was already a few minutes past the time they were all supposed to meet but knowing how long they could be working, it was too much of a risk not to get coffee first.

He felt around in his pockets when he got to the register. "Oh shit, I don't think I brought my wallet." Carson said, giving Danny an expectant look. He figured he had him feeling just guilty enough to buy him a cappuccino.

"Ugh, fine," he pulled out his old leather wallet and handed the lady a 5.

Carson laughed, "that's such a dad wallet."

"What does that even mean?"

--

When they got up to the fifth floor, coffee in hand, the two girls were nowhere to be found. Figures. Daniel used the group chat to ask them where they were. After all it was possible they were simply late.

"We went to the desk but they wouldn't give us a room, so now we're wandering." Daniel relayed the message to Carson who frowned in thought.

"Tell them to come back up. I'll get us a room."

Looking suspicious enough already this was probably a terrible idea but he was impatient and little pissed off to be honest. He quickly turned towards the rooms, hoping to make it to one before this Danny guy so he wouldn't see him open it.

"Wait how are you going to do that? The help desk is that way," he asked, jogging to catch up. Great.

If the desk lady wouldn't give those girls a room then she probably wouldn't give him one either, also he just didn't feel like dealing with that. Daniel made it clear he wouldn't be too easy to shake off, getting rid of his plan to just open the door with magic. Instead he got out his student ID and pretended to swipe the scanner next to the door. The red dot turned green as he did.

"Woah. Do you have special access or something?" Danny asked.

Carson just hummed vaguely and sat down in the first chair he saw. He'd been doing such a good job not doing any magic since he moved out that even a little trick like that was tiring. Carson didn't want his reputation to follow him to university, but now that he was almost done with his Masters degree he found himself caring less and less.

Pulling out his own phone, Carson texted the group chat, "508."

Danny still had that childlike look of amazement on his face when he looked up again and Carson groaned internally.

"Where else can you get into?" He asked excitedly.

"Wherever I want. Wake me up when they get here." Carson pulled his hood up and laid his head down on the table. He wasn't really going to sleep, he just needed a break from talking. God this was going to be a long day.

Carson heard Kelsey and Ava talking long before they made it to the study room. They clearly knew each other before taking this class.

"Hi, how have you been?" Kelsey walked in first, carrying her own coffee cup, she looked at them both, her face pinching in thought, "Daniel and... Carson?" She struggled to put a name to the back of Carson's hood.

Now for the most interesting part of any group project, seeing who would take charge first. Carson finally straightened back up as they sat down on opposite sides of the table, putting Ava next to him.

"So, Tragedy, where do we start?" She asked.

Carson sat back and waited while everyone looked around awkwardly.

"Hey how did you get a room anyway that bitch at the counter made up some policy about needing a professor's permission for these rooms." Kelsey commented.

Daniel's face lit up again, "oh you should have seen it. Carson just swiped his ID and opened the door like magic."

Thank god Carson had just swallowed his coffee because otherwise he'd be choking on it at the mention of "magic".

"This is a library, not a bank. I just opened the door," Carson said lamely. "Anyways, we need to divide up tasks before we do anything else, and come up with a central theme so we're all on the same page. I think we should address the political implications of Tragedies written around that time. They were widely popular but very controversial."

Everyone stopped and stared at him. Either he'd completely lost them or he'd gotten more antisocial than he thought if that was a shocking amount of words to come out of his mouth. Internally Carson was cursing himself for accidentally taking on the role of the leader. He'd have to work even harder to pawn off that responsibility now.

"Right. I think the professor wants us to use quotes from the literature in the project but he also expects us to do a little research and come up with a thesis, not just a word by word analysis of the reading," Ava said. Meanwhile Kelsey was muttering something under her breath about the professor having a stick up his ass.

It looked like they were finally getting on track when Ava stopped suddenly, "hey what happened on the first day of class?" She asked.

Carson's blood turned to angry sludge. He was really tired of explaining himself. "Nothing, happened, I'm just clumsy."

He shot Daniel a look who thankfully tried to smooth things over, "Yeah he just tripped into the desk and it made a lot of noise, they ought to just nail them down." Ava hummed in response, not quite satisfied with that answer but ready to drop it.

--

After coming up with ideas for their individual parts they did some quiet work. That way they could have an outline done to share before they leave. The longer Carson strained to read the tiny text in his book the more he realized he was getting a headache. Not a migraine, but he didn't feel great. They'd been working on this for hours now, Carson checked his phone to see just how long it had actually been. They got to the library at 3pm and it was now closing in on 8pm. The worst part? He'd woken up late, gotten dressed, then came straight here. Meaning he'd slept through breakfast and forgotten lunch. Typical. You'd think after living alone for a few years a person would learn to take care of themself.

Daniel gave him an odd look, "Did you leave the oven on or something?"

Carson frowned. How the hell was this guy always so good at reading him? "No, it's nothing."

He really, really wished that it was nothing and he could just go back to reading but his body was making itself clear that it would not be neglected so easily. A dizzy feeling flowed through him as the blood rushed through his head. He felt sick.

Low blood sugar, it had it's own unmistakable brand of awful. Carson quickly shoved his hands under the table so it wouldn't so obvious that they were starting to shake. His brain frantically searched for solutions. The cafe? Closed. Snacks? Didn't pack any. Vending Machine? Yes. He had enough change in his jacket to get something from the vending machine he'd spotted near the bathrooms. It would look less suspicious if he waited a few minutes then left casually but a sudden churning in his stomach decided for him. The time to leave is right now, or better yet, five minutes ago.

Carson pushed way from the table clumsily then stepped around it to get to the door. Daniel followed him with his eyes which were now pinched with concern. He wanted to follow him and ask if he was okay, but valuing his life, he decided to just let him go with no further comment.

Carson was visibly unsteady on his feet. He wasn't diabetic so low blood sugar wouldn't kill him but it sure felt like it could. A general numbness spread through his body. Next was the mysterious cold sweat that he could distinctly feel despite knowing his skin was completely dry and the clammy feeling was just in his head. His body had a tendency to wait until the very last second to alert him of a problem which was why all the symptoms seemed to slam into him at once.

"Just make it to the vending machine and get a snack. You just have to make it that far." Carson urged himself as he wove between tall bookshelves. He was starting to feel a bit light headed too. Perfect.

The vending machines came into sight in front of him, tucked into their own little alcove. He was so close, so close, so... nauseous. Gonna throw up. Change of plans. He walked right past the machines and into the men's bathroom, his heart sunk as he did. But throwing up in the hallway was simply not an option. He dove for the furthest stall and just barely got the door locked before dry-heaving over the toilet. After a few unproductive minutes of that he coughed up some the coffee he had earlier and his stomach finally seemed satisfied after rearranging its contents. Carson leaned against the wall heavily, sliding down to sit on the tile. Why am I like this? Oh right it's because I'm forgetful, irresponsible, and stupid he chided himself. Closing his eyes, Carson focused on regaining his strength so he could at least buy some food then come back to this spot. He was finally about to stand up when the door swung open. Carson froze.

"Carson, are you in here?"

It was Danny, of course.

"Yeah," he replied. It would only seem more weird if he didn't respond.

"You've been gone kinda a long time. The girls were starting to get worried." He said tentatively.

"Well I'm fine, so either take a piss or get out, would you?" Carson snapped impatiently. He wished Daniel would just shut the door already so he could suffer in peace.

Daniel rolled his eyes, "It's getting late so everyone wants to wrap up, make sure we all know what to work on, and go home. So are you coming back now?" He asked. Usually his line of questioning would be more like "Are you okay?" "What are you doing in here?" "Do you need any help?" "Are you sick?" but with Carson he'd learned the beat around the bush a little knowing he wouldn't answer any direct questions like that nicely.

Carson tried to push himself to a stand up but ended up tripping over his own feet somehow, ending up on his hands and knees. Guess that answers that question. "No," he said plainly.

"What'll it take to get you out of this bathroom?" Danny sighed, still standing by the door. He'd heard shuffling just now but still didn't really know what Carson was doing in there.

With a grimace Carson swallowed his pride and asked for help, "Um, a bag of crackers would be nice."

Daniel's brows furrowed at the strange request, but even more so at the small voice it was requested in. Crackers? That was really what he wanted right now?

"Okay, wait here."

A moment later he came back in with a small bag of cheezits and bent over looking for Carson's feet to see which stall he was in. He was surprised to see that he was most likely sitting down against the furthest wall. In the back of Daniel's mind he noted that being on the ground was a bad sign.

Meanwhile Carson was cringing with every fiber of his being. He hated being like this. If Daniel had just left he probably could have gotten them himself and avoided all this. But truthfully he still felt a little dizzy and sick.

"Um, so what did you want crackers for? You're not going to eat them in here are you? That's unsanitary." Daniel called out before sliding the bag under the door.

Just seeing the bag ignited a gnawing hunger in him. Whatever half-formed insult he had on the tip of his tongue was quickly forgotten in favor of food. Sweet, sweet sustenance. Carson tore open the bag and threw a few into his mouth, careful not to eat them too quickly.

"You know this is super weird right?" Danny asked.

"Whatever," Carson grumbled. His voice was muffled by the crackers.

"Wait a second," he paused, "were you hiding in here... because you were hungry? Seriously?" Daniel scoffed. As tough as his deskmate liked to act, he was surprisingly childish.

"Well you don't have to be a dick about it. Low blood sugar is a real and serious condition, asshole," Carson muttered. There was no real anger to his words though. He just had a habit of swearing more when being defensive. Daniel stopped laughing.

There was a rapping on the door, "Um, it's Ava. What the hell is taking you guys so long?" She called out.

"We'll be back in a minute," Daniel yelled back.

"That's what you said when you left ten minutes ago," she said impatiently.

Carson scooped out the last of the crumbs from his bag of crackers and got up. He still felt a little off but the threat of throwing up or passing out upon standing was no longer there so that's good. He reluctantly unlocked the door and walked past Danny to get to the sink.

"You look, not-healthy."

Carson scowled and took a look at himself in the mirror before splashing some water on his face. Daniel was right, despite being a lot steadier there was still a sickly paleness to his face.

--

They walked back to the study room where Kelsey and Ava were already half-packed up and ready to go. Carson sat back down in his seat and glanced at all the papers scattered across the table.

"So here's the plan..." Ava gave a detailed description of everything they'd decided since he left. It was a solid outline. And if anyone had any more questions they could just text between meet-ups.

"Oh look, it's already pretty dark outside. I hadn't even noticed," Kelsey said peeking through the blinds. "Now I'll have to have walk home in the dark."

"College campuses have some the highest rates of sexual assault." Carson said absentmindedly.

"Why would you say that right now?" Kelsey shivered.

Carson looked up at everyone's mildly horrified faces, "What? It's true, it's dangerous out there. People need to be careful." He defended.

"Well now you both have to walk us home, since you kept us here so late doing whatever the hell you were doing." Ava said crossing her arms.

"You say that like I wasn't already going to walk you home," he said. Good job Carson, real smooth. Ava's expression turned blank and confused for a second before going back to it's previous tense, subtle annoyance.

"Fine, let's get going. It would make sense to walk with whoever lives closest to each other. I live off campus."

"Same," Carson added.

Kelsey and Daniel both lived close to the dorms so it made sense for them to go together.

[dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade]

Sound of Nature- Part 2

Warnings: language a little bit, nothing serious Word count: 1,8K+ A/N: It has been so fun writing this, and I want to thank everyone for the feedback so far! Also, I want to mention that any critiques and comments are welcome. If you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask or DM me. Enjoy! P.S.: Sorry the upload is late, I just got back from the cinema and forgot to upload it before I left oops

Josh Kiszka x (female) Reader

Part 2 - Sunshine

Josh just looked at you, in complete silence. You knew you fucked up. You shouldn’t have said that. The look in his eyes didn’t change at all, they were still unreadable. You could tell you caught Josh off-guard.

“Y/N…” he started softly and put his hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him, sadness in your eyes. “You and I are both kind of drunk. I think it would be better if we have this conversation tomorrow, what do you say?”

You just nodded sadly. You knew that Josh was a good guy and he didn’t want to get your heart broken. “I am going to stay outside,” you answered him as you sat up and put the fire out.

“Take care, darling. I promise we will talk first thing in the morning,” he ended and walked to his tent.

You remained outside. The sky was still dark, but with slight hints of the sunrise coming in the next hour. You were surrounded by a deafening silence. You could hear your heart beat as you laid down on one of the logs, face up, observing the sky. A thousand thoughts passed through your mind in those first moments, but slowly you reached the eye of the storm.

Your eyes slowly closed and drifted temporarily to a space worry and stress-free.

~

You opened your eyes at the soft poke on your arm. It took you a moment to see who was next to you, but you immediately recognized Danny.

“Hi,” you muttered, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes.

“Hey. What’s up? Is everything alright with you and Josh?” he asked, while you sat up and fixed your Y/H/C hair. You just stayed silent, remembering the events that took place few hours earlier. Daniel’s eyes got a hint of sadness after they followed you for a couple of moments. He understood the look on your face. “Come with me, let me tell you something,” he said and you just followed.

You slowly walked over to the lake in the approach of your camp. The sun was up on the sky; you unfortunately missed the sunrise. The wind was softly blowing your hair off your shoulders. You were too lost in your thoughts to notice Danny’s worried look.

You two got on the shore of the lake and sat down at the end of the wooden deck that extended for a couple of feet over the crystal-clear water.

“Look, Y/N, I can see something is wrong, do you want to let it all out?” Danny started.

You just shook your head in dismissal. You knew Danny had good intentions, but you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone about anything.

“That’s okay then. But let me tell you, since I believe that it is something between you and Josh – he is a good guy, Y/N. You know that no matter what happens between you, he can’t stay away from you. All the time we were away he talked about you and the memories you had together. He really cares about you,” Danny spoke. His words made you smile sadly. Deep down, you hoped that would be the case.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for quite some time. You loved how Danny was the peacemaker in any situation. He has been a good soul only with good intentions since day one you met him.

“Danny, thanks,” you smiled at him.

“No problem, kiddo!” he smiled back and threw a splash of water onto your face.

“Kiddo? I am older than you!” you laughed it off and stood up.

Danny stood up as well. “But you’re so short, so kiddo it is!”

You laughed loudly, the sound of your voices echoing through the woods and over the lake. From behind you, you could hear footsteps approaching. You turned around to see a tired looking Josh. You could tell he had had a rough night. With just one look from Josh, Danny understood that the two of you needed to have the talk in private, so he left back to the camp, where the rest just started to wake up.

“Morning,” Josh spoke softly, his voice giving away a little bit of the emotion in his heart.

“Hey, listen Josh, I am sorry, I didn’t want to scare you off, you’re my best friend and I don’t want that to change over a stupid thing that I said,” you defended yourself before even being accused of something.

“A stupid thing? Y/N, I said I wanted a sober conversation about it. I wanted to tell you that I feel the same way about you. But I didn’t want to say it last night, because drunken conversations on this matter won’t always end up good, talking from experience. Do you consider it only a stupid thing?” Josh spat out in a rush.

His words left you speechless. You could feel a slight itch in your eyes, the tingle before the tears and you could feel your heart drumming against your chest without any particular rhythm. “No- I didn’t mean that- I mean that I shouldn’t have just came to you out of the blue and said it like that and I am sorry.”

“Well I am not sorry you said it. But I want to hear the truth from you,” Josh started as he gradually got closer and closer to you, looking you straight into your Y/E/C eyes. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes, I do,” you stated in an instant. You could feel as if a heavy weight had just been taken off your heart. You didn’t know what was coming next, but for the moment you were relieved you managed to finally give away your feelings for Josh.

A smile spread across Josh’s lips, and you could see the happiness creeping into his tired eyes, that finally got back their familiar glow. “In this case, may I kiss you?”

You blushed at his words and just nodded. You felt like a teenager again, but it made you happy, so who cares?

Your eyes closed in anticipation, and soon, the awaited moment was there. Josh gently pressed his lips onto yours. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy from this. He made you feel this way and you loved it. Your lips pressed harder together and when Josh pulled away, he was basically shining from happiness and so were you.

“Y/N, thank you again for being in my life, you’re like a light sent from above during nighttime, you are guiding my way through life,” Josh whispered softly as your foreheads pressed together.

He grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers. You could feel his soft skin against yours and you could feel his thumb drawing soft circles on your palm. You looked at him in awe.

“Before anything else, we are best friends, Y/N, right?” he asked as he looked at you.

“Best friends,” you answered him in a whisper.

Josh pressed his lips onto yours once again and once he pulled away, he lead you to the edge of the deck you were on.

Both of you sat down and took of your shoes. You dipped your feet in the cold water as you let your head fall onto Josh’s shoulder, while he held you close with a protective arm around your waist.

“It is so peaceful here,” you whispered, trying not to disrupt the silence.

“This is the sound of nature, sunshine,” Josh whispered back as he took in the whole situation. “Nature speaks a wonderful language, you know, but people need to observe and feel it.”

“And what language do you think it speaks?”

“I think that the language of love,” Josh whispered as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “Nature has love for each and every single one of us, and when it feels that the world is aware of the wonderful feeling that is love, it gives you as a gift, what you have always wanted.”

“And do you think we are worthy of this gift as you call it?” you ask as you look at the mountains’ reflection in the clear water.

“We already got it. This- this is our gift. Each other, in this wonderful peace, in a state of love.”

You smiled and looked up at him and cupped his cheek with your tiny hand. You got lost in his gaze. It was true after all, eyes indeed are the mirror of the soul. His eyes gave away a mix of feelings. You could see the way he looked at you, all the love and all the harmony that came your way was almost too much to take in.

“I love you,” Josh whispered as he got closer to you. Your heart fluttered at his words and you couldn’t believe that there you were, with the man of your dreams, sitting on a deck and confessing your love for one another.

“I love you too,” you whispered back as your lips got closer. The both of you were caught in a kiss that slowly got more and more passionate. You could basically feel the love that Josh was emanating and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Both of Josh’s arms slid around your waist and he held you close to his body.

“You are my sunshine, please don’t ever leave,” he whispered more to himself as he pulled away.

Your heart melted at his words.

You suddenly heard voices, coming from the other end of the deck. Both you and Josh, still caught up in your embrace, turned around to see the owners of the voices. To no surprise, they were Sam, Jake, Danny and Vic, high-fiving and grinning at each other.

“Josh’s got a girlfriend!” Jake shouted, a shout that echoed all around you.

You had no idea for how long they have been staying there, but little did you care.

Josh helped you stand up, while still holding an arm around your waist. You waited for the boys to approach you.

“Yeah, you’re right. She’s my girlfriend!” he smiled, showing you off and looked at you as if you were indeed, the light of his life.

The boys cheered and congratulated the two of you. Danny winked at you, as if to say “See I was right earlier”. You smiled at the whole situation, you couldn’t have asked for better friends.

“Now, let’s have some fun!” Sammy shouted and pushed both you and Josh into the cold lake, as he followed by jumping in fully dressed. In the next moments, everyone was in the water, shouting at the impact with it.

At first, you felt so cold, but soon it all went away. Sam splashed Jake and Danny, and soon the two of them joined their forces to splash Sammy back. Vic was observing them and joined in.

Josh swam to you, his usual soft curls now all wet, but he had the same adorable smile on his face. He reached for your hand underwater and held tight to it as he pecked your lips. “Don’t you ever forget that you are my sunshine.”

Tags: @myownparadise96, @jeordinevankiszka, @littlegeekwonder, @songbirdkisses

[slxyangel]

Pain and Noise (Duff x Reader)

Summary: I was fed up with just about everything that constituted my life, so I started playing.

Warnings: Unprotected sex, mentions of violence, swearing, panic attack.

Wordcount: Almost 5k

A/N: First fic I ever write, I am nervous and this was originally in Spanish, so be nice with my best try of a translation. Enjoy :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

Masterlist: https://slxyangel.tumblr.com/post/189625800403/masterlist

The pain in the back of my hands was intense, searing, and growing worse with every minute I spent holding the drumsticks and unloading my rage over the drums in the studio. The accumulated tension stiffened my fingers, the muscles in my arms were numb and it had been a while since I started feeling my nails spiking my own skin because of the pressure I was putting on it. I didn’t care; I preferred to feel that rather than the anguish that had been threatening to rip off my chest these last few weeks. I don’t know how much time I spent like that. What I do remember is the pain. And the noise.

I also remember sitting on the stool during a little while the guys were out, I’m not sure what for, maybe to grab some food or take a break. They had been working on the album for months, and these days of polishing, re-recording, fixing and tuning everything up for the final version were being especially hard; they deserved a breather. “And so do I”, I told myself while I held Steven’s drumsticks and gave it a second thought, maybe it wasn’t a good idea. He, as any other percussionist, didn’t like it when someone else fiddled with his instrument, not to mention if it happened without him being around to control it. I could only hope that he didn’t show up in that very moment and caught me, because I don’t think I would have the strength to explain him every thought that was circling my head the moment I decided to play his drums, and even less not to drown the whole story with my tears. I mean, come on, it was only going to be a little while.

I had been working with the band practically since the recording process for Appetite for Destruction began. I was in my last year of university, and needed an internship to complete my learning agreement, and, I still can’t comprehend how, my best friend’s father got me plugged-in in Geffen Records. They were the ones who decided that the best option for an audiovisuals student was in the recordings for a young rock band’s debut album. This is how I ended up being Mike Clink’s personal assistant and hanging out with Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff and Steven. The chemistry had been practically automatic, I got along with them pretty quick and, even though I started being basically the coffee girl, I was always very comfortable in such a creative and carefree environment.

I remember those first days in which Mark, my boyfriend, used to drive me to the studio in his car. I could drive, of course, but my new job seemed almost more exciting for him than it did for me, so he insisted in getting me there, picking me up and making me tell him every little detail of my brand-new work life. He was thrilled when I told him how I had spent twenty minutes of my first day talking with Slash and he had shown interest about my studies, my reasons to be there and my general life. “If we’re gonna work together, we might as well be friends”, he said. The guy told me that he had a snake, that his parents were artists and that’s why he had always been so involved with music. He also said he got his first guitar when he was 15 and that he and the guys ended up together out of sheer coincidence, but they had realized they were the perfect combination, so they were really excited about their new project. It was there that I realized I was in the right place and, even if, worst case scenario, the rest of the band hated me, at least I had a new friend.

However, my worries couldn’t be any more unfounded. Once I had talked to Saul, the rest of it went smoothly. Axl was quite a character, for instance, a guy you felt like looking at. Wherever he was (because he couldn’t stand still for a second), your eyes would be glued to him. He had an enviable magnetism no matter what he did: singing one of their songs, bringing order to the mixing desk, finishing off half a liter of Jack Daniel’s… He was the kind of person who seems out of reach from every one of us mortals but, deep down, is a cinnamon roll. Our first interactions (mostly his, let’s be honest) were filled with double intentions. In any case, now that I see it in retrospective and compare it with the way he treated other girls, I came to think that this was his way to know women in general, his default mode. Actually, those anecdotes of conversations I had with the vocalist were worth a fair dose of laughing for Mark and me during our more than usual supermarket-pizza, Ben-&-Jerry’s-ice-cream dinners in the flat we shared. Over time, Axl’s phase of blatant flirting with me faded away, making room for a really close friendship between the two of us.

Izzy, on the other hand, treated me almost as if I was an experiment. Do you know the feeling when you arrive to a new school but the year has already started and everybody is curious about you? Well, that was more or less how the guitarist reacted to my incorporation. He had never been too talkative, or, at least, not as much as the rest of them, so my first days with the brunet can be summed up to him joining conversations between me and someone else, to learn a bit more about me without having to ask directly; to my hand-waving gestures and his responses raising his chin or his eyebrows; or to him offering me drags of his cigarette from time to time, while we waited for the rest of the guys to record their tracks so we could all go partying together. It was interesting. It was entertaining. It was even funny to see us unfolding, adapting to each other until we gained full trust. We could argue that his more reserved, almost wary personality and my own, more explosive and versatile, complemented each other as two puzzle pieces; one had what the other lacked.

And, while Izzy complemented me, Steven understood me. We were two peas in a pod: energetic, chaotic and jam-packed with energy. Basically the kids in the team. Like two naughty twins, we loved to terrorize the studio. We threw stuff at each other, we laughed like crazy, we yelled from one corner of the room to the other the dumbest, most absurd shit you could imagine… One of the activities I enjoyed the most was to scare away the chicks from him. Some afternoons when he was chilling on the couch, unaware and concentrated on hitting on whatever girl he had just met, I arrived, seated next to him on the couch and went full on clingy-ass-girlfriend with him: handsy and unbearable. I interrupted the groupie and put up with Steven’s deadly glares until, after a while, the girl took off, sometimes walking towards one of the other guys, sometimes straight to her house. The drummer always got mad at me when I did this to him, but his anger never lasted for more than ten minutes.

And then there was Duff. He was something else, something different. I had never had such a connection with anyone, and even less with anyone I had met for so little time. Duff had his own light, like an extremely bright star, and I was flashed by it but, at the same time, he irradiated a delightful kind of warmth, too nice for me to voluntarily step away. He was fun, he was compassionate, he was sensible, he was a little bit mad and he made everything unspeakably easy. The rest of the band spent their days saying that we should have sex or betting on whether we were or weren’t conscious of the sexual tension they assured was too obvious between us. At first, we either told them to fuck off or went along with it, but without giving it much of a second thought. At the end of the day, I was dating Mark, who I adored, and Duff knew it. We were nothing but friends, like the rest of the guys.

Weeks went by and I kept getting closer and closer with the bassist: we talked about everything and anything, we told each other countless anecdotes from our lives before arriving to L.A., and he even sometimes helped me with the paperwork. More than once, even though smoking was allowed in the studio, the two of us stepped outside to do it, and a break that was meant to last for 10 minutes ended up being one hour long. When this happened, Slash had to come out for him, wielding his guitar and threatening to smash it on his head if he wasn’t back inside in the following fifteen seconds. In fact, some of those days when it took me longer to finish my job he would stick around and offer me a ride home before he headed to the club, so that Mark didn’t have to come pick me up that far that late.

Of course, it was all being too good to be true. The first day this happened, when I arrived home in “some other dude’s car, instead of a fucking taxi”, Mark’s own words, I found a version of my boyfriend that I didn’t like one tiny bit: wary, silent and mean. When I asked what his problem was I already saw the answer coming, but I just refused to believe he was going to get all possessive over such a nonsense, he had never behave like that. That night we went from yelling at each other to the silent treatment in a matter of a few hours, and the next day, when I got to the studio in my own car for the first time since the guys knew me, that place looked like goddamn press conference. They took less than two minutes to notice I was a little bit off, and less than five to tell me “Dump him, fuck Duff”. I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t broken up with Mark, we had just argued; I would speak to him and we would fix things; that’s what couples did. Bitch, you thought.

For the next few days everything seemed to have turned back to normal: my boyfriend and I were okay, he said he was sorry and begged me to let him apologize by being my chauffeur again. I didn’t quite feel like rocking the boat after that night, so the idea of not driving myself to work didn’t seem that bad, until the days Mark started arriving a little earlier each day. Five minutes, fifteen, half an hour before my cutoff time, as if he had to make sure I went back home with him, as if he had to keep an eye on me. In fact, one of the days in which he arrived with a bigger margin of time, he decided it was a good idea to wait inside the studio while the band was recording, and argued that “it would be a lot more boring to wait in the car”. Over the last days, the guys had noticed how pissed it made me the fact that he was chasing after me, behaving like an asshole and little more than tying a leash around my neck, so Axl stepped up and asked him to leave, since the guy wouldn’t listen to me. I have to admit I was surprised with how calmly the vocalist took the intrusion, taking into account his normally short temper. He told Mark that “it wasn’t his problem if he wanted to be his girlfriend’s chauffeur, but he couldn’t simply burst into a private property as if it was his house, and even less when they were working.” To be honest, that was one hell of a comeback, because if the singer had exposed the real reasons why he wanted him out, the other one would have clutched at straws to the philosophy “She is my girlfriend, you don’t get a saying on this.” But on his argument and on his turf, Axl had the upper hand.

Despite all the efforts, Mark told him to mind his own business and that, if the redhead kicked him out of the studio, he would be behaving like a total dick. Then, as if the destiny was trying its best to fix things, sarcasm be sensed, Duff showed up in the anteroom where we were. As soon as my boyfriend saw him, his eyes started blazing, and it only took the bassist telling him he had to leave and that I was still in my working hours so I wouldn’t go with him, for his fist to connect with Duff’s jaw in a nasty jab. And hell was fucking raised.

Axl pushed Mark, who was holding my arm with the same hand he had punched the blond with two seconds ago. Not letting go of me, he tackled the vocalist, mumbling something I can’t remember. Then he walked towards the front door, grabbing me with him. “Let’s go. Now”, he ordered. His fingers dug into my skin with such anger and despair that I could already feel the bruise forming underneath, and I was half shocked, half scared shitless. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to get in the car with him and I didn’t want any more punches either, but in any case my limbs were not responding to the commands my brain tried to make, whichever they were. It was then that, halfway across the room, before reaching the door, Mark stumbled and fell, finally releasing my arm. The first thing I saw when I lifted my eyes was Duff standing there, with his mouth covered in blood, shaking his right hand once and breathing heavily.

- If you ever touch her again like that, I’ll kill you.

While Mark was trying to get up, Slash stormed in from the recording room. He had seen the events of the last two minutes from his position behind the glass, and he wasn’t going to take any more of that shit. Right before the other one went ballistic attacking the bassist and blood started to hit the fan, Saul grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kicked him, literally, out of the place. Once the metal door had closed between Mark and us, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I vaguely remember I started hyperventilating, on my knees, on the floor, and the sound of punches hitting metal on the outside was all but helping me calm down. As tears streamed down my face and I frantically run my fingers through my hair, a hand started trailing my back. It was a soft touch, slow, really slow. Making its way upwards and then going back down, over again. The noise level had considerably decreased, and now all I could listen to were whispers, the sweetest whispers coming from the mouth of one single person. “Shhhh, easy. You’re having a panic attack. It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here. Breathe.” Little by little my quick and superficial breathing became steadier, and after a few minutes I was able to stand up to sit on the couch. The beating on the door had stopped, and I realized all the guys were surrounding me, worried look on their faces, as Duff, seating beside me, still had his hand in my back.

_________________

It had been two weeks since that day. After the incident, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be under the same roof as Mark, and even less with the fight still recent. Who knows what he would do to me as soon as I crossed the threshold… The guys profusely insisted that I could stay with any of them, but they let me use their phone to call my best friend when I told them I would be in very good hands with her. Laura received me with a warm hug the moment she saw me, and that night, at her home, we cried, we ranted and we ate ice-cream until we couldn’t take any more. I have to admit that, given the circumstances, she managed pretty well to get me into bed feeling kinda happy. But of course, nothing lasts forever. I was about to graduate, with no home (the foster-bed in Laura’s house didn’t count), no boyfriend and no plans of work, projects or future in general; ahead of me there was a massive precipice with seemingly no ending. Besides, the production process for Appetite was coming to an end, and so did my internship and the months of togetherness with the band. Now was the time for press conferences, concerts and, if it all went well, the tour. To be honest I was super happy for them. I had seen the birth of that album, and I was blindly certain that with such a masterpiece they were bound to success. It was inevitable. But in any case, that meant the end of what had given me the most joys in the last four months and, if apart from all the financial and emotional stability I had gained during my college years, someone took that away from me… what did I have left?

__________________

After that much time hitting the drums, I had ultimately interiorized the beat so much now I was just reproducing it on loop, with my eyes closed and breathing heavily. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t realize the door had opened and someone had stepped into the studio. Suddenly I felt how, behind my back, two hands softly landed on my shoulders. I didn’t stop playing. My arms moved now with less vigor to the beat I had marked from the beginning, while those fingers gently traced small circles in the back of my neck, comforting me.

Duff.

It had to be him, I was certain.

Little by little I reduced the speed of my movements, gradually, until I completely stopped playing. When I left the drumsticks on the snares and turned around in the stool I saw him. He was standing there, right in front of me, asking with his eyes, a calm and expressive look on his face. An almost imperceptible sigh escaped my lips. He was worried about me.

- Good thing it was you who entered, and not Steven – I said, half jokingly, as I stood up, hoping to relax the tension built up between us.

- Yeah – he laughed softly. – Had it been him he would have ripped the drumsticks off your hands and hit you with them.

I laughed too, quietly, bitterly. This was too much for me. The words we never said were floating around, like a thousand needles falling into a tailspin above us; eventually, they would have to land. The worst part was that I didn’t know if I craved that moment or, on the contrary, dreaded it.

It looked like he had read my mind when he slowly, almost asking for permission, held my hands. I startled a bit with the contact, but I let him go on. Duff looked at them for a second before he noticed the tiny wounds I had unconsciously inflicted on myself digging my fingernails too hard a while before, at the drums. Without saying a word, he started caressing them very softly, as if he wanted to calm, more than my physical pain, the sentimental one. He was breathing deeply and slightly frowning. He was concentrated in trying to make that feeling disappear, the confusion, the guilt, the fear… the stream of emotions that had been threatening to break me for some time now. He looked me in the eyes. In that very moment, the temperature inside the room raised a few degrees. We were really close. So close I could feel his breath on me, listen to his heartbeat accelerating with every second that went by, see how his lips lightly parted, practically not at all, only a hint of the thought that filled our minds in that place, in that moment. Then, almost involuntarily, as an instinctive reflex, I stretched my neck upwards. That was the only sign he needed to make the already scarce distance between our lips disappear, and kiss me.

The contact was slow, sweet and full of longing. Our lips moved rhythmically, perfectly fitting on each other’s. Duff was still holding my hands, and I could feel my breath accelerating progressively. I released one of my hands and placed it on his neck, stroking the hair on his nape and helping myself keep balance in my tippiest toes. He saw my struggles and moved his free hand to my waist, firmly holding me so that I wouldn’t fall. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to be closer to him, even more. Everything that I hadn’t been able to do and that had bottled up inside of me was now too overwhelming, and I didn’t want to fight it anymore. Our kiss intensified, we hungrily enjoyed each other, panting. The next thing I knew was that Duff had placed his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned my arms on his shoulders, so I could keep kissing him while he crossed the room and sat on the leather couch, with me straddling his lap. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, slightly lifting the hem of my dress, as if he was testing some boundaries that I hadn’t set and, at this point, I didn’t plan to.

I was euphoric, nervous and loaded with desire. In a burst of braveness or lust, I’m not entirely sure, I started to buck my hips, back and forth, following a slow path at first, which progressively accelerated. The friction of my underwear in direct contact with his leather pants was about to drive me mad, and I couldn’t stop. His hands, which a moment ago were on my hips, guiding them, started moving over my lower stomach, tracing the edge of my panties in painfully slow motions. His breath was also heavier, somehow ragged, and I felt him hardening beneath me. His lips were stuck to the base of my neck, lightly sucking as I, with my eyes closed and lips parted into a silent “O”, gently pulled his blond hair. My core grew more sensitive by the minute, and when I thought I wouldn’t be able to hold the moan trapped in my throat anymore, his fingers touched my most sensitive spot, turning my steadily rocking hips not that steady for a moment.

In a matter of seconds, and with his hand working wonders between my legs, I got rid of the dress, which only bothered, and the perspective of my almost absolute nudity on top of his entirely dressed body made me shake with arousal. His free hand took care of my breasts, now exposed, as I dug my nails into his shoulders, underneath the sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

-  Take it off – I managed to blurb between gasps.

-  What? – Duff seemed confused, too concentrated on something else for having been able to follow the road of my own thoughts.

-  Your shirt, take it off. I want to touch you.

A shit-eating grin lit up his face right before he separated in a quick motion from that piece of clothing and threw it somewhere else. Immediately after, in a total change of the atmosphere, he laid back on the couch and, placing his hands behind his head, said:

-  Then touch me.

I didn’t hesitate for a single second. My hands flew to his shoulders, his arms, his shoulders again and went down his chest as I peppered kisses all over his lips, jaw, neck, collarbones… I took my sweet time while swinging my hips against the fabric that separated my pussy from his erection, and my nails traced a descending path down his torso, really slowly. I could notice how he was growing desperate; I felt his breath, now turned into a subtle growl, against my hair; I realized how shortly he had managed to keep his hands off me, since now he was caressing my flanks, my back and my chest. When I reached the cord of his pants with my fingers, I slowly undid the knot that tied them together and slipped my hand underneath, without stopping my hip motions. The very moment I found the base of his length, a soft grunt escaped his lips. He was driving me insane.

After a while arousing each other, we couldn’t stand the teasing any longer and Duff took the first step to getting rid of the clothes that were still around. I stood up and took off my sandals so that he could slide my panties down my legs, grazing my skin along the way. He also let go of both his pants and sneakers, tossing them on the carpet. Our moves were clumsy thanks to eagerness and anticipation. I once again sat on top of him, in our initial position, only now there were no clothes in the middle of the road. I could feel him against me. Touch. Friction. Desire. His expert fingers moved now freely over my core, as he left little love bites under my left ear. I kept on rubbing his cock, fully hard and a bit wet, while, with my other hand, I held on to his hair for dear life. We were close, really close. It felt as if every centimeter of my skin was on direct contact with Duff. He was everywhere, every corner, every goosebump, every scar… With all this overstimulation, my moans filled the room, and I didn’t have enough sanity to realize anyone could come in. I was a mess.All of a sudden, right when I was seconds away from cumming, his hands disappeared from my core. Even though I couldn’t see myself, I was sure in my eyes one would be able to read the anticipation and confusion.

-  Wait – he said in a desperate whisper -. I want to feel you, I want to be inside of you.

If he hadn’t stopped touching me a moment before, I am sure that sentence would have sent me to the wildest of orgasms, but it wasn’t the time for my sweet release. Not yet. He put his hand right next to mine, on his cock, and, with an almost unbearable slowness, he brought the tip of it to my entrance. A trembling sigh fell from my lips and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I gently let my hips descend on his lap, and he completely slid inside of me, letting escape an unearthly growl that gave me chills. He had dropped his head back, leaving his neck and collarbones exposed to me, but I had my eyes closed as I tried to control the delightful contractions that were about to take over me. I felt him inside of me, extremely deep. As if we were two pieces of the same puzzle, as if we had been manufactured specifically to be together. Now THAT was overstimulation. Once my body had adjusted to him, I started motioning my hips up and down, holding on to his shoulders so that I didn’t lose the limited balance I had left. He once again was looking at me, with his hands on my waist as I kept the path. Close, very close. His arms slid around me and I kissed his lips eagerly. Our moans died in one another’s mouth while the movements became faster, erratic, frenetic. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep my sanity, I was almost raving with pleasure, and the moment our lips broke away to take air and we looked at each other, nose to nose, without stopping for a moment, I couldn’t hold it any longer. I came with a flashing intensity, pronouncing his name countless times, asking God knows who for this moment to last forever. I couldn’t stop screaming, and when Duff begged my name and I felt his liquid warmth filling every bit of me, I saw white.

_______________

His hand stroked tenderly my naked back while my breath came back to normal against his neck. The same as that day, but at the same time entirely different. I was still on top of him, he was still inside of me. I hadn’t yet gathered the strength to pull him apart from me, but he didn’t seem willing to get separated either, so we stood like that for a while, I don’t even know how much, but I don’t care. This felt utterly intimate, intense, extremely ours and totally apart from the rest of people, from the rest of things. It was a parallel universe inside of a crystal ball. It was the embodiment of all that was right. What we had been, without knowing or admitting it, even to ourselves, waiting for all this time.

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny Sor Framagucci Robinson Character Sheet 

Dear Mom and Dad, I'll send money, I'm so rich that it ain't funny It oughtta be more than enough to get you through - (x)

Archetype — The Creator 

Birthday — January 17, 1980

Zodiac Sign — Capricorn

MBTI — ENFJ-A (The Protagonist — 93% Extroverted, 56% Intuitive, 60% Feeling, 60% Judging, 83% Assertive)

Enneagram — Type 3w2 — The Charmer

Temperament — Sanguine 

Hogwarts House — Slytherin Primary, Hufflepuff Primary model, Gryffindor Secondary

Moral Alignment —  Lawful Good

Primary Vice — Pride

Primary Virtue — Charity or Diligence 

Element — Air

Song —  A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Overview:

Government name  —  Darareaksmey Francine Sor Framagucci Robinson Name  —  Franny Robinson/Franny Sor Robinson Mother — Sophea “Sophie” Sor

Father — Adrien Framagucci (stepfather, legally adopted her), Peter Boyd (biological father)

Mother’s Occupation — Restaurant owner 

Father’s Occupation — Construction worker

Family Finances — grew up in poverty, insanely wealthy now

Birth Order — Youngest

Brothers — stepbrothers Gaston and Art Framagucci (mother legally adopted them, if you say ‘step’ Franny will kill you), claims no others but has biological half brothers from Peter Boyd; John-Curtis “JC”  Boyd, Timothy “Timmy” Boyd

Sisters — claims none, but has biological half sisters by Peter Boyd; Sarah Boyd, Stacy Boyd, Shyann Boyd 

Other Close Family — spreadsheet

Best Friend — Daniel Maitland, Molly Vaughn (deceased)

Other Friends — Lora Lopez, Serghei Anton, Delia Weiss, Vanessa Pham, others

Enemies — most men on principle 

Home Life During Childhood — It was a good childhood. Working the restaurant was normal to Franny so she didn’t realize it was abnormal at first. Her parents tried not to let the kids realize how poor they actually were. 

Town or City Name(s) — Payne Lake, Georgia

Any Sports or Clubs — In high school she was in drama, show choir, orchestra, National Honor Society, and on the quiz bowl team

Favorite Toy or Game — Franny honestly loved hide and seek well into her teenage years because she was small enough to fit it the weirdest places to hide, and in the 80s and 90s in a small town in Georgia there wasn’t much to do so her friend group played Extreme Hide and Seek. Everyone wears all black like some kind of cult. Turn off all the lights in the house. Go crazy. 

Schooling — K-12 in Payne Lake, Georgia ; B.A.s. in Musical Theatre Performance and Jazz Studies at NYU; M.A. in Jazz Studies at Pride U

Favorite Subject — Anything that wasn’t math or chemistry 

Popular or Loner — Popular, has always been magnetic 

Important Experiences or Events — Her first time on stage, getting enough scholarship money to justify going to NYU, quickly growing to love the nerd she hit up to buy her waffles and never letting him go, the accident that changed her life, marrying Cornelius Robinson, finding the magic singing frogs, adopting Wilbur, discovering the severity of her fertility issues in 2008, 

Nationality — American-Cambodian (born American, given Cambodian citizenship in 2019)

Culture — Franny identifies most strongly with Cambodian, followed by broadly Southeast Asian sometimes with Buddhist attached, and that’s tied with ‘Rural Southern (USA)’ sometimes with POC attached. Franny feels pretty detached from “American Culture” in general. She more closely would identify with Southern USA culture in general than with general American with no modifiers. She also feels a little detached from Asian American culture in general because even though she grew up right outside of Atlanta and is familiar with Atlanta, she didn’t grow up in one of the big hubs of Asian American culture like LA, San Francisco, or NYC. White American and Black American culture surrounded her, and the Asian cultures surrounding her were immigrant or first-gen cultures that hadn’t really developed an American flavor yet. Franny understood more about Vietnamese and Thai culture than she did about general Asian American culture for a long time, because immigrants straight from Southeast Asia were the only Asians she grew up around. And she grew up in the 80s and 90s where Asian representation was yellowface and Long Duk Dong. She didn’t meet any Asian Americans who didn’t speak or at least understand their heritage language until college. And the experience of POC as a whole in the South is very different to the experience of a white person, so sometimes Franny feel disconnected from her white southern neighbors and more closely relates to black or non-white Latinx southerners in ways she doesn’t relate to white southerners, or Asian Americans from LA or NYC. 

Religion and beliefs — Buddhist

Languages spoken— Khmer, English, Vietnamese, French, Italian, (less fluently) Portuguese, Spanish, (can understand some) Thai, Lao, (impressive tourist) German, Dutch

Physical Appearance

Face Claim —  Elodie Yung

Complexion — Tanned skin, pale brown 

Hair Colour — Black

Eye Colour — Brown

Height — 5’5

Tattoos — Yes, a few. Wilbur’s adoption date over her heart, most notably

Piercings — Lobe, upper lobe, tragus, helix, and cartilage on both ears, and an anti-tragus on her left ear. And a nose piercing she got in college

Common Hairstyle — typically keeps her hair long and done nicely but she cuts it and donates it from time to time so will also rock short hair

Clothing Style — vintage-inspired but not proper vintage

Mannerisms — Biting the pads of her thumbs, gesturing wildly, narrating her actions sometimes in song, if she’s looking for scissors she walks through the house making a scissors motion with her fingers

Usual Expression — she’s got resting bitch face 

Health

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — No, her immune system is the real MVP and when she does get sick she’s like ‘I’m dYING’

Physical Ailments —  Infertility 

Neurological Conditions — Depression, Cyclothymia (rapid cycles of depressive and hypomanic episodes)

Allergies —  none 

Grooming Habits — Typically rinses her body daily, uses soap on the armpits daily, but proper washes her body every other day. Washes her hair every two or three days as needed, but if she was extra sweaty that day it gets washed. Waxes leg hair and eyebrows. 

Sleeping Habits — she generally gets a decent amount of sleep but it isn’t usually all at once. She’s a champion power-napper, and if she has three days cleared she’ll often sleep mainly all at once except have like a 2-3 hour period of wakefulness and productivity and then go back to sleep for two more hours, then take an hour nap later in the day.  

Eating Habits —  She’s a grazer. She doesn’t usually sit down and eat three times a day she’ll sneak like five small meals a day

Exercise Habits —   works out at least three days a week somewhat because she’s really sensitive to when people comment on her body so she’s afraid to give people a reason to say a negative comment. Like. She’s body positive, big supporter of you don’t gotta be skinny to be beautiful or healthy. But when people say things like “oh Franny you got a little jiggle in those thighs” it’s never said like a good or neutral thing. She had a lot of body image issues throughout high school and college, and came dangerously close to developing an eating disorder freshman year at NYU but kind of logicked herself from the ledge  

Emotional Stability — generally emotionally stable, like for someone with her mental illnesses she does great 

Body Temperature — runs hot 

Sociability — A social butterfly

Addictions — None; did abuse adderall in college but when she quit cold turkey she didn’t like. Suffer cravings. She wasn’t addicted, but she did abuse it to the point she realized “oh I need to...stop”

Drug Use — occasional use of drugs to make her trip, like acid, shrooms, but this is very rare, she doesn’t do it at home, usually if she’s on the road with other musicians or has gone to LA or NYC or London for a few days to have a songwriting session, the group will sometimes partake. Even then not every time. Used to experiment with drugs more in college, but still it was never...a TON. 

Alcohol Use — More than occasional less than frequent

Your Character’s Character: 

Bad Habits — swearing, next to no filter, temper when it comes to perceived injustices, tends to overload herself 

Good Habits — Keeps a detailed planner, is a maniac about drinking lots of water, is vocal about her needs and boundaries 

Best Characteristic — her warmth! She really is friendly and easy to get along with and wants to be nice. But she will not be walked over and will not allow her kind, marshmallow husband to be walked over so she will flip a switch to protect herself or her boys. 

Worst Characteristic — unforgiving

Worst Memory — it’s a tie between her experience with sexual assault, and the time her biological father’s wife found out Franny was his biological child, and came into her mother’s restaurant when she was visiting with her pretty new HUSBAND, and Nancy Boyd proceeded to beat up Franny and her mother

Best Memory — Adopting Wilbur! It WAS marrying Cornelius but sorry Neil it’s her baby boy now

Proud of — Her husband, she is so proud to be Cornelius Robinson’s wife. She proud to be her mother’s daughter. And she’s proud of her accomplishments in music and philanthropy 

Embarrassed by — Nothing, she’s great

Driving Style — Oh, aggressive. She’s an offensive driver. Cusses. 

Strong Points —  she doesn’t quit, she’s the walk through hell and keep going type of person

Temperament — generally she’s pretty even-tempered. It’s easy to set her off in an instant though if you’re being racist, sexist - any type of shitty person tbh, or being shitty toward her husband or son, but for the most part she’s pretty chill. She deff has crazy bitch energy just under the surface though and you can tell

Attitude — Franny’s not particularly bitchy, but you know, she can be

Weakness — can’t do basic math, very overly self-critical, perfectionist

Fears — Something happening to Wilbur tbh. That’s her greatest fear, losing her son. 

Phobias — Franny does not throw up. She refuses. She will literally feel nauseous and horrible all day to avoid puking. It makes her so anxious, she will nOT. 

Secrets — None really? Like she doesn’t blab her life story to everyone but Cornelius knows everything about her. She has no secrets from her husband. 

Regrets — Not adopting more children when she and Cornelius got married knowing they both wanted a big family; ever meeting up with her biological father 

Feels Vulnerable When — She cries in front of people. Franny hates doing it. She’d rather die tbh

Pet Peeves — when people are rude to wait staff 

Conflicts — She sometimes feels a surge of resentment for her husband during her depressive episodes because she kind of feels like she’s pulled most of the weight in their marriage from Day 1 as far as running the home, and feels like although he purported to also want a big family he never even offered to take HIS turn pulling back from work so they could adopt a second child when it became clear it wasn’t gonna happen for them biologically, but then Franny hates herself for that because Cornelius is the kindest, most loving, most wonderful husband and father and she feels so privileged to call herself his wife and...yeah they just need to have a long talk about it tbh

Motivation — to be the best at everything she does; to force space for herself where she and people like her have previously been excluded, to be so great that you can’t ignore her

Short Term Goals and Hopes — have a baby, but she’s 40 now and knows its not gonna happen 

Long Term Goals and Hopes —she’s...kinda done everything she ever set out to do other than have lots of children

Sexuality — Bisexual, leans toward women, but had more experience with men because compulsory heterosexuality in the US in the 90s and early 2000s, and genuinely fell in love with a man are has been with just him for twenty years now

Exercise Routine  — Doesn’t spend much time on cardio because she gets enough cardio walking around town and Pride U. Mainly works on her core, legs, and strength training so if a man tries to grab her she can kick his ass

Day or Night Person — Would be nocturnal if she could be

Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist — She’s naturally pretty cynical but she’s worked for like twenty-five years to have a more optimistic outlook on things. It’s 50/50 now I’d say 

Likes and Styles:

Music — there isn’t really a genre she doesn’t like - like her initial fame was in jazz, but she has an equal affection for jazz and bluegrass/classic country/folk music. She also is in an indie band, Seoul Hanoi’d. And like rap music - usually old school Atlanta rap, but she likes Kendrick Lamar and some other current rappers.

Books — She likes to read or listen to audiobooks about pretty much any subject except music and musicians.

Foods — Cambodian food!!

Drinks — She likes sweet tea, aaaand her alcohol of choice is Anything

Animals — Possums :3 She wants a pet possum so bad, she follows pet possums on instagram and cries at their cute posts

Sports — She played tennis in high school, that’s the extent of her sports knowledge

Social Issues — all of them. Climate change, racial justice, intersectional feminism, VACCINATE ALL THE CHILDREN UNLESS THEY MEDICALLY CANNOT BE, de-mining, Green New Deal, punch Nazis, hey maybe don’t put children in cages, Myanmar can you please not do that genocide you’re doing that would be swell, poor people deserve access to healthcare and education, housing-first approach to homelessness, the good stuff 

Favorite Saying — “Hoes mad”, usually said dismissively when she receives a death threat after a political tweet, or after a racist one for just being an Asian woman in the public eye

Clothing — Franny prefers skirts, dresses, and jumpsuits/rompers to shirt + trousers

Jewelry — She never takes off her wedding ring. She’s married af

TV Shows — Schitt’s Creek, Kim’s Convenience, a lot of Canadian TV she really thinks is funny

Movies — She’s a big nerd that loves a good documentary or otherwise educational movie

Greatest Want — More children, including one biological child because her mother always talked about pregnancy and childbirth like it was the most humbling and empowering experience she’d ever had, and Franny wants that. But she’s 40 and knows she won’t have that. 

Greatest Need — a baby lmao

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — In a big-ass house in the wealthiest part of town, maybe even the biggest house 

Household furnishings — Not overdecorated. A lot of people live there, but Franny’s very much the lady of the house, and even more so than her husband is the head of the household. She’s not a dictator, like her mother-in-law and other relatives have added their touches to the home decor, but it is very much Franny’s Home with notes of the others. She’s very particular about her kitchen, but is very flexible with the rest of the common spaces. 

Most Cherished Possession — Family photographs of her mother and her family before the Khmer Rouge. Franny bears a striking resemblance to her Aunt Kesor, who was the older sister her mother had idolized, but who died during the Khmer Rouge years. Franny only knows of the resemblance from photographs.

Neighborhood — The rich people part of town 

Town or City Name — Swynlake, England

Details of Town or City — lol

Married Before — Cornelius is her first and only husband and unless he cheats on her she’s never ever leaving that man

Significant Other Before — nobody important 

Children — Wilbur Robinson, wants/wanted more

Relationship with Family — Close! Both to her in-laws, biological maternal family, and stepfamily

Car — 2020 Nissan Qashqai

Career — Singer, song-writer, musician, composer, musical actress, actress, university music professor

Dream Career — Musical actress

Dream Life — Married to Cornelius, with lots of kids, living her best life

Love Life — Happily married to the love of her life, her sunshine, the jelly to her fish, Cornelius Robinson

Talents or Skills — music, cooking, acting

Intelligence Level — High? Like she can’t do basic math but everything else. She’s a musical genius, is good with languages, and is pretty perceptive

Finances — Loaded

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — restaurant worker, event staff

Past Lovers — nobody worth mentioning 

Biggest Mistakes — “I don’t make mistakes”

Biggest Achievements — Grammys, induction into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, being the first Cambodian person to win a Grammy, International Bluegrass Music Association awards, ASCAP awards, and being awarded the national medal of the arts by Barack Obama in 2015 

[valentines-in-london]

I Need Fire (Part 2)

Gif by @robwiethoff

Previous chapters: Chapter 1

Next Chapter: Chapter 3

Summary:  Rayne moved to LA a few years ago and has never really fit in.  While most of the Sunset Strip girls were movie star beautiful, with thin builds and blonde, Rayne stood at 5′10 in flats, had curves that no diet would make disappear and had big red curly hair.  The only person that ever made her feel normal was her best friend and room mate Jo.  In this chapter Jo tries to play matchmaker…

Authors Note:  Hey there, thank you all for coming back for chapter 2!  Spread the word tell your friends, as always my asks are open for suggestions, reviews, what you like, what you don’t, etc, etc<3</p>

Word Count: 3,297

Taglist: @triplehaitches  send me an ask if you want to be added!

Chapter 2

It was a hot weekend in Los Angeles, today alone was going to hit 88° according to the local news.  So what were two girls to do?  Of course, lounge by the pool and catch some sun!  The apartment complex that Rayne and Jo lived in had a giant pool that no one ever seemed to take advantage of, it was always a ghost town.

Rayne brought her boom box to the pool with a stack of cassettes.  First she put in On Through The Night by Def Leppard and pressed play.  “I know you’re gonna say I listen to this too much but the guy at the record store knocked it out of the park with this suggestion!  This band is gonna be big.”

“I mean you certainly have had much worse phases.”  Jo giggled from her lounge chair as Rayne took off her baggy t-shirt.  “Oh Rayne if I looked like you I would wear a bikini!”  Jo complained upon seeing Rayne in an emerald green one piece.

“You’re crazy!  I love my curves but no one wants to see me in a bikini.”  Rayne scoffed while laying back in the reclining chair sliding sunglasses over her eyes.

“Oh I can think of one person who wouldn’t mind seeing you in less than that.” Jo teased taking a drink of her iced tea.

���Huh?” Rayne asked propping herself up on her elbow.  "Who?“

“Well I saw Vince the other night and he told me that his drummer has been talking non stop about some bombshell red head he met the other night at the apartment.  He described you to Vince and then said you left with some blonde who was there for Vince.  Vinny later put two and two together that you must be my friend.

"Oh God!” Rayne put a hand on her forehead in exasperation.  “Of course he’s your fuck buddies friend.”

“You know Tommy is pretty sexy.”  Jo pushed the issue.

“Jo he ate a girl out in the middle of a room full of people.  I’m pretty sure her cum is on the walls.” Rayne slid her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose.

“Well at least you know he’s good at it!” Jo laughed before shoving Rayne’s shoulder.  "Oh come on, you deserve to have a little bit of fun!“

Rayne thought about it, maybe she did deserve to have some fun.  But was someone like Tommy worth the trouble he would undoubtedly bring with him?  "I don’t know Jo, I don’t think dating a musician is worth it. They tend to be like leeches.  Remember when Danielle dated that dude from Ratt and found out he was just using her for groceries?”

“I think this band is a little bit different Ray, they sell out every show they play on the Strip.  They’re making money. Vince says he thinks they’ll get signed soon, they have a label executive trying to convince the label to sign them.  And besides, who says you have to date, just fuck him and leave him.”

“If they’re making money why does their apartment look like a bomb went off in it?  God I can’t believe you fucked Vince in there!” Rayne laughed, not even wanting to justify the second part of her friends statement.

“Oh my god it’s awful in there isn’t it?” Jo agreed clenching her hands into fists in front of her.  "I think I saw a cockroach crawling on the floor when Vince had me bent over the bed.  But at that point I didn’t care.“

Rayne gave a loud sound of disgust and threw the sunscreen at her friend.  “Ew!  That’s so fucked.”

Rayne adored moments like this with Jo, where they could just get down to straight up girl talk.  Back home she never had friends that she could talk honestly with, most of her girl friends said that she had no tact and was more like a guy in that way.  Rayne would never forget the first time she ever met Jo after answering a want ad in Recycler magazine for a room mate.  When Rayne entered her hopeful future apartment she was greeted by a disheveled looking Jo, her blonde hair a mess, partially up in a pony tail and an off the shoulder loose fitting top.  Within two minutes of them talking Rayne watched as a guy walked out stark naked, her jaw dropped when he asked if Jo had a pair of pants he could borrow.  The blond smiled at Rayne with a megawatt smile, “I thought he was going to be gone by the time you got here, but I think I wore him out.”  As strange as it sounds Rayne knew in that moment she had met a kindred spirit, even if Jo made Rayne look like a prude most of the time.

The two girls sat by the pool for a few hours gossiping about new bands on the strip, new girls on the strip and every now and then going into the water to cool off.  That night they were going to the Roxy. No bands were playing that they were particularly interested in but the Roxy played the best music when no bands were on and the girls were friends with the DJ who would be spinning there.  Little did Rayne know that Jo had told Vince they were planning on going. If Vince was going that undoubtedly meant that the rest of the band would be there. Jo joked with Rayne that she needed to get laid, and it was all in good fun, but she truly didn’t want the white collar world to suck the fun out of her best friend.  Maybe a bad boy would be just what the doctor ordered.

Later that night the girls entered the Roxy and music already blasted out of the speakers, specifically "Fashion” by David Bowie.  Jo shouted in Rayne’s ear, “I’m gonna go find Robbie.”

Rayne nodded her head making her way over to the bar to grab drinks.  She smiled when she saw that her favorite bartender David was behind the bar. “My love!”

“Hi David.” Rayne smiled hopping onto the bar giving her friend a big hug.  "I keep missing you! We don’t come to the Roxy as much because you guys haven’t been doing live music as much.“

"That’s all going to change soon babe.” David said happily.  David had been working at the Roxy since Rayne moved to LA he was a typical bartender in that he was charming and worked for his tips, he also made a damn good drink.  "What can I get you?“

"I’ll just have a Cardu neat.  Jo is saying hi to Robbie, but let’s get her a vodka cranberry.”

“You got it sweets.” David winked.  After a few short moments he pushed two glasses across the bar.  

Rayne slid a twenty dollar bill back at him telling him to keep it.  "David, would you mind keeping an eye on our bags behind the bar tonight?“

"Always.” David reached his hand out to grab onto Rayne’s leather purse.  "Save me a dance tonight.“

"Oh I don’t know about that.” Rayne smiled and winked.  Rayne crossed the club floor weaving in and out of people to find a decent spot.  She and Jo had become strip rats so to speak, they went out basically every single night, mostly for live music but in that time they had made a little family of friends.  You go out to the same places enough you start to see familiar faces, and you either get along or start to mark your territory against those you didn’t like.  Working her way through the mass of people she spotted Jo coming down from the DJ booth through the crowd of people towards her as Metal Guru by T. Rex started to play.  "David will take your bag for the night, and here’s your drink. Drop your purse and come out and dance with me!“

Metal Guru could it be you’re gonna bring my baby to me She’ll be wild you know a rock and roll child, oh yeah Metal Guru has it been, just like a silver-studded sabre-tooth dream I'II be clean you know pollution machine, oh yeah

The two friends danced to the music singing with each other as they danced.  Swaying her hips to the music, Rayne lost herself in the music she absolutely loved.  T. Rex and Marc Bolan, even if in real life she would have towered over him, were huge influences on her music taste.  T. Rex wasn’t changing the word but they did change hers.  When Marc Bolan died Rayne vowed she would get to the UK one day and pay her respects in some way.

Metal Guru is it you, yeah, yeah, yeah!

The girls sang the lyrics to each other as the song faded into All The World Is A Stage by Slade.

"I thought that was you.” Rayne heard a male voice from behind them.  Spinning on her tiger print heel her stomach flipped when she saw Vince, Tommy and two others with them.  One being the guy who lit himself on fire the other night and the other Rayne hadn’t seen before, he was slightly shorter had long black hair and was wearing aviators, even though we were already in a dark club.  Tommy’s eyes were locked on Rayne causing her stomach to do flips.

“Babe!” Jo shouted jumping onto Vince wrapping her legs around his waist.  The two kissed and Jo mouthed I’ll be right back to Rayne, leaving her alone with the other members of Vince’s band.  Thanks for being my wingman Jo, Rayne thought to herself.

“You like T Rex?” The fire guy asked.

“I love them, they’re one of the greats.  Too bad I never got to see them live.” Rayne smiled genuinely at him.  "What’s your name?“

"I’m Nikki.” He tilted his head upwards in greeting.  Rayne looked down at the shorter man with longer hair.

“And who’s Mr. Way Cool?” Rayne said jokingly to the man wearing aviators.

“Mick.” He said, short and to the point.  "The sunglasses usually make people fuck off.“

"Have you found that works?” He simply nodded, Rayne smiled approvingly.  "Well if that’s the case I might have to start wearing sunglasses when I go out. Not that many people take notice when I’m out with Jo.“

"They should take notice.” Tommy quickly interjected over the music, his dark eyes hadn’t left Rayne since she had turned around upon hearing Vince’s voice.  She saw Nikki roll his eyes and she was sure Mick did behind his sunglasses.

“I need vodka.” Mick said.

“I need a bump.” Nikki quickly said after.  Both of them heading in opposite directions leaving her alone with Tommy.  Fuck, everyone’s leaving me!

“You have to tell me your name.  It’s driving me crazy.” Tommy spoke his eyes begging like a puppy dog.

“Why should I tell you?”  If she was being honest with herself, Rayne kind of enjoyed this game of cat and mouse the two were playing.  Rayne wasn’t used to being chased, in fact since moving to LA she had gone on three dates, just three!  None of those resulted in anything longer than a few weeks and a few free meals.  For the life of her though she really couldn’t figure out why this good looking drummer was showing any interest in her.

“Because you’re fucking beautiful.  You’re a knockout. A ten!” Tommy said enthusiastically.  He certainly had a magnetic energy about him.  His dark hair was fluffed and teased but still maintained its shine.  He was in his leather pants again but this time wore a top with holes cut all through it.  He looked like he was ready to go on stage in this outfit, the other night he seemed more casual, even with the leather pants.

“Look, I appreciate that I really do.  But I am not the kind of girl you want.” Rayne said politely, pulling out a cigarette, offering one to Tommy which he happily took.

“Why not?” Tommy questioned pulling a lighter out igniting a flame for Rayne to use.  Rayne put the cigarette between her lips and leaned into the flame the end lighting up like a cherry.

“I’m not my best friend Jo.” She exhaled gesturing to the ladies room where her friend had gone off with Vince.  "I’m not going to fuck you in the bathroom of a club.“

Tommy flashed a smile before exhaling a stream of smoke, "Oh just give me some time.” As soon as the words left his mouth he closed his eyes and made a face.  "I can’t fucking believe I just said that.“

Rayne chuckled while reaching up and wrapping both her hands around Tommy’s neck, her fingers lazily playing with his hair.  "Don’t worry about it Tommy boy. I’m sure you and the fire hydrant will be happy.”

Tommy had a confused look on his face before it clicked, she was talking about Bullwinkle.  "No she’s not my…”

Rayne pulled one hand away from his neck taking a deep inhale of nicotine, “Yeah, yeah I know.  She’s not your girlfriend. That’s just the point I’m not that girl.  And you guys in bands enjoy being with those girls.”

“Oh so you think you know what we all want?”  Tommy narrowed his eyes.

“I’ve been around enough of you to know it is what you want.  That or I’m a bet between you and your buddies, which has also happened to me before. Good looking guys don’t go after the big girl.  They go after girls like Jo.” Tommy’s eyebrows shot up.

“So you think I’m good looking then?” He smiled wide resulting in Rayne playfully shoving his shoulder.  He’s a beautiful idiot, Rayne thought to herself.

“Oh fuck you.” She laughed, pushing his shoulder slightly.  Rayne had to give it to him he was charming.  His eyes were chocolate brown and strangely kind, if she didn’t know better Rayne would have thought he was being genuine with her.

“Come on!  Have a drink with me?” Tommy motioned over to the bar.  Her heart wanted to, badly. Her mind on the other hand…

“You never give up do you?”

Tommy leaned in close, so close that Rayne could feel his hot breath against her ear.  "Not when I see something I want.“ His response was simple and resulted in an electric shiver to coarse down Rayne’s spine.  Tommy reached down to take her hand in his and Rayne thought the two would catch on fire from the sparks she could feel between them.  She’d never experienced anything like this before.

Just when Rayne was about to open her mouth and say something, she was almost tackled to the ground by an excited Jo.  "It’s our song!!!”

Jo’s approach had snapped Rayne out of her Tommy fog and she realized Stay With Me by The Faces was blasting through the speakers of the club.  "Let’s dance!“ Jo led Rayne away from Tommy to a clear spot on the floor.

Red lips hair and fingernails I hear your a mean old Jezebel Let’s go up stairs and read my tarot cards, c'mon

“That’s you girl!” Jo smiled at her best friend pointing to her hair.  "I bet Tommy wouldn’t mind going upstairs and pulling on that hair.“

"Shut it you perv.”  Rayne laughed while continuing to dance.  She occasionally stole a glance over to Tommy and Vince who were watching the two girls intently.  She knew she’d regret it later but she definitely danced a little more seductively knowing Tommy was watching her.

Hours flew by music, smoke, drinks and swirling lights surrounded everyone in the club.  It was so easy to lose yourself along to the music, it was intoxicating.  Surprisingly Tommy left Rayne alone for the rest of the night, in every way at least except his eyes.  He couldn’t take them off of her. The way she moved, her smile, the way she’d get excited when a song she liked came on, and that mass of curly hair swaying back and forth.  Her hair was a shade of red that resembled fire, a mix of copper and wine that Tommy just wanted to run his fingers though and pull on.

“Tommy if you keep staring at her you’re gonna burn a hole in her ass.”  Nikki said sitting down next to Tommy at the bar pouring out a line of coke.

“It’s great to look at though dude.  I’d like to do more than look at it though.” Tommy smiled at his best friend as Nikki dipped his head down snorting up the dust.  "I’m just drawn to her. I don’t know why, I’ve never felt this way before.“

Nikki sat up and rolled his eyes at the statement, "Really Tommy?”

“Dude!  I’m fuckin serious!  I’m getting a fuckin boner just from watching her dance, that hasn’t happened to me since I first started getting boners.”

“She hasn’t given you the time of day, forget about her and take a look at the sweet thing over there who’s practically drooling at the sight of you.  She’ll definitely relieve the blue balls induced by red over there.”  Nikki spoke gesturing toward a blonde girl at the end of the bar. She wore a hot pink string bikini top and pursed her lips when she saw Tommy look at her.  "I think we could have a threesome on our hands man.“

"Or a two-some, just you and her.”  Tommy laughed clapping his hand on Nikki’s shoulder before his eyes went to his beautiful red head on the dance floor.  He turned back to Nikki and simply said,  "She doesn’t even compare.“

"Well, T-Bone turning down pussy.  I think you should see a doctor man.” Nikki smiled before getting up and approaching the blonde.  Tommy stared down at his drink until he heard a voice from heaven next to him.

“Hey David, we’re heading out for the night can you grab our bags?”  Rayne spoke from beside him. The bar was packed so he could feel her pressed against him as she leaned over the bar.

“You’re just cruel you know that?” Tommy said shaking his head in disapproval looking up at her from his seated position.

“Am I?”  Rayne asked flirtatiously leaning into him, he could tell she’d had a few drinks.

Tommy spun on the stool fully facing her, taking a risk and resting his hands on her hips.  "Let me take you on a date. Come on.“

Rayne’s green eyes drifted to the ceiling in thought.  "Tell you what rockstar, if you can find me this week before your next show that I’m sure I’ll be dragged to by my best friend.  I’ll go on a date with you.”

“You promise?” Tommy smiled up at her leaning in to try for a kiss, his hands sliding down to her ass.

“Oh no you don’t.  I’m drunk but I’m not that drunk.” Rayne grinned grabbing Tommy’s hands and putting them in his lap.  He looked like a kid that was just told he couldn’t have cookies before dinner.

“Come and find me.” Rayne huskily said leaning in and kissing Tommy on the cheek, leaving a stain of red lipstick behind.  When she pulled back she broke eye contact. “Thanks David, see you later.”

And with that she was gone in a sea of people.  Tommy turned to the bartender that had handed her bag to his red haired beauty, gesturing for him to come over.  "David,“ he called him by the name she had used, "let’s talk you and I.”

Tommy punctuated his statement by pulling out a $50 slamming it on the bar.

***

Song Inspiration for this chapter: Def Leppard-Rock Brigade T. Rex-Metal Guru Slade-All The World Is A Stage The Faces-Stay With Me

[sevenringsblingbling]

Sienna and Colson part 3

Word count: 5,921 (Damn Daniel!)

I sat there in shock reading Jade’s message. How does one respond to something like that? This is the same woman who kissed me and saw my bare tits not only that but she complimented them! How will I face her now? “It's Jade isn't it?” Colson asked with a smirk on his face. “Yeah.” I sighed. “What the fuck do I say?” I showed him the message. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and started typing. I was worried about what he would say. He was smiling the whole time. “Babe don't embarrass me. She's gonna think that’s shit I'm saying!” I tried to grab the phone from him, but he just moved around keeping me from getting it. “Girl after the crazy shit that went down last night, she probably feels embarrassed too.” He's right she's probably is feeling awkward too. Besides we were all consenting adults. I could handle this like a big girl. I think. He finally slide my phone over. I braced myself.

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*Later that evening*  

“This steak tho. It's awesome. I'm not really keen on red meat but this hits.” We were sitting down at some fancy French restaurant. Finally I had gotten what I'd been asking for since we got here. No It wasn't the original place I had wanted, that place was booked solid but right across the street from it was this. The food was pretty good, hell it should be at these prices. Can you believe it a hundred and fifty-two dollars for a steak! That's not even including any sides but seeing as how it was our last night in Vegas might as well do it big. “Here let me try a piece.” He took the knife and cut off a huge slice of steak from my plate. As much as I wanted to, I didn't say anything after all he was paying for the whole thing. I should be grateful to have a man such as him. He’s got a lot of fucking money, a poppin ass career, he’s sexy, and has a big dick. I'm a lucky bitch to even be in his presence.  

I tapped his hand on the table. “Thanks again for that thing earlier.” He raised his brow and smirked “Babe you don't have to thank me. You can suck me off whenever you want.”  “Not the thing we did in the shower.” I smiled. “I’m talking about the thing with Jade.” I grabbed my wine glass off the table. He put his utensils down on the table and looked at me. “Oh, my bad. No problem. I've known Jade for a while now. She’s understanding. Besides she’s got to be to be Marco’s assistant.” We both laughed. I took a deep breath. “Yeah babe. I'm still fucking nervous about facing her but I'm just glad she was cool about the whole thing.” I pushed the steak around on my plate. “Babe did she ever mention her and Marco being fuck buddies? That seems odd.” “What do you mean?” He asked. “I mean they both work together it's got to be weird sleeping with the same person you work for. She made it seem like she hated working for him. Why sleep with someone you hate?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Well that's they business.” Turning his attention to his cell phone.

When Colson and I first started linking up he would always go into these rants about the industry and industry etiquette. He said that I was fresh meat and that he knew what was best for me. “These fuckers are vultures just waiting to pick at your flesh. Trying to see what they can get from you all the while pretending to be your friend. A lot of fake shit.” As things started to progress in our relationship Colson would give me a list of rules to follow when I was with him. One of the rules that he would repeat often was the ‘myb.’ Minding your business. I’d been to a handful of events and so far I hadn’t seen anything too crazy. Men would approach me and try their best pick up line. When I would reject their advances, sometimes they’d offer me drugs, camera time, basically anything to get me to say yes.  

At first, I remember thinking ‘Wow these rich guys are so persistent.’ I’d left these events feeling flattered that these men had taken a liking to me. They’d must had seen something in me that I didn't see in myself. I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room nor was I a celebrity, so I figured that maybe I did have a certain ‘it factor’. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have stepped out on Colson, but it felt nice to know that I could still turn heads. “Don't feel special. Like I told you your fresh meat. Any woman riding out with me ain't gonna be no weak bitch. These idiots ain’t got love for you. Remember that.” The night he said that I felt all the air leave my chest. So I wasn't special? Did I not turn heads? That insecure little girl inside of me had crept up again trying to takeover but then I remembered simply that Colson was a vet in the game. He knew the truth and was only trying to protect me.

By no means was he ‘perfect’, yes he’s got a temper along with some anger issues but that's just because being in the industry can change people and most of the time it's for the worst. Also considering how his childhood was I shouldn't hold it against him. Colson was able to accept me and all my flaws why shouldn't I be willing to go the extra distance for him. I don't want to make him sound all bad. We’ve had some happy moments together. Sometimes where we actually agreed on a few things. “And so, then I told the guy I wasn’t doing no fucking club appearance for some wack ass twenty-five. I need at least forty-five. Like bruh I've got a family to take care of. I need all my fucking money.” I hadn't noticed Colson was talking this whole time. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts. “Right babe.” I responded hoping he wouldn't notice that my mind had wandered off. He shook his head. “You wouldn't understand. This industry shit is all fucked.” I always tried to comfort him as best I could. “Babe don’t worry everything will be taken care of.” Fuck! Sienna is that the best you could come up with. I could sense he was getting agitated. “Hey how about we order a yummy desert?” I asked the waiter for a menu to change the subject and lighten the mood. “Well let's see here.” I looked over it. “The tiramisu looks good. They've got your favorite babe, Cheesecake.”

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Once we got in the car to go back to the hotel babe didn't say much to me. He blasted music from the stereo system while smoking. Which I didn't mind much it gave me time to think about us. Think about our ‘relationship’ I'm not even sure if that’s what I could call it. I had been introduced to everyone as his ‘girl’ and a lot of people didn't even know my fucking name less I spoke up and told them. There were no formal introductions, no first name last name oh you two are so cute how’d you meet situations. “You wanna hit this?” he held out the joint to me. I took it and inhaled as far as my lungs could take which ended in a coughing fit. “You alright?” I rolled down the window a bit and nodded. Often I had wondered just what he really thought of me.  

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Two a.m.

Sienna rolled around on the bed after a restless few hours of sleep. She awoke in a pitch-black room. Colson’s side of the bed was empty. No surprise to Sienna Colson rarely slept and if he did it was only for a couple of hours. She called out his name but of course no answer. She thought perhaps he’s just in some other part of the place and can't hear her. She got up to retrieve her cell off the chair and laid back down. Zero missed calls. Zero text messages. Nothing new about that. Sienna didn't have much friends and the ‘girlfriends’ she thought she had made weren't contacting her anymore for whatever reason. Colson told her that would happen. That sooner or later the women she had become cool with would distance themselves. Something about them being green. She didn't really understand it, but he usually was right about stuff like this, so she accepted it.

She had checked her social media just to see what was going on in the world. What butt hurt celeb would be going off on a troll in their comment section. What/who was trending. What fashions were trendy now. Things of that nature. In her recommendations she stumbled across a post that read ‘MGK gets lit at a Vegas nightclub.’ It had been posted 45 minutes ago. As she slid through the photos there were pictures of him arriving, inside the club, drinking and dancing, standing on top of the counter top rapping his songs. Giving a whole live performance while she was tossing and turning half the night.

“Is he serious?” I screamed into my phone hoping that somehow this was fake and that he really wasn’t at the club on our very last fucking night here! I needed a drink asap, Flung the fridge door open and picked up a random bottle of wine and drank it straight out the bottle. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Okay think bitch. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. I didn't call because I knew he wouldn't answer. I didn't text because I know my man, he’s probably high out of his mind flirting with every dress in the building. I had no choice but to wait for him to come home...if he came home at all. I turned on the tv in hopes it would distract me. I channel surfed for a bit and settled on the cartoon network. A little while later my phone lit up with a text message from no other than Ms. Jade. I rolled my eyes. She was the last person I wanted to talk to. I was already pissed at Colson and this bitch was going to get the wrath of how I'm feeling right now if she didn't back off! Besides what the fuck could she possibly want to talk to me about this late at night.  Jade: Hey hon. Hope you’re feeling better food poisoning is no joke :( anyways your guy is too lit lol rn. But don’t worry he’s getting to you in one piece.  

The fuck? Did this fool really lie and tell her I had food poisoning. All I could do was shake my head. Truly I had no one else to blame but myself. I chose to be in a relationship with a fucking rap artist and this was the price to pay. I paced back and forth in the living room laughing while drinking my wine. “This shit is not what I signed up for. I swear I can’t pick a good man to save my life.” I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions just then I heard the key card ding and a voice other than Colson’s on the other side of the door. Dressed in a bra and boy shorts I ran into the bedroom and threw on one of his t-shirts to cover my body. The door was opened. I just sort of stood there not sure what to expect. There was a big guy helping Colson through the door. “Ayy hey baby.” His words slurring waving at me. I rolled my eyes. The big guy helped Colson over to the couch. “Alright bro you’re home now.” He shook his head. “Need to stop all that drinking man. I can't keep holding up your tall ass every time you get drunk. I'm out.” As he was walking toward the door, I stopped him. “Hi. look, thanks for getting him home safe. Wait something for your trouble.” He put his hands up in protest. “Nope I'm doing this. Don't try and stop me.” He put his hands down. I walked over to Colson and dug in his pants pocket pulling out a wad of loose bills and threw it on the coffee table. I figure he’s drunk and high it's not like he’ll remember any of this shit tomorrow, besides he owes this guy for getting him home on one piece. A fifty-dollar bill won’t break the bank. I handed it to him and sighed. “Looks like I'll have my hands full tonight. Thanks again.” He took the crisp bill and placed it in his pants pocket. “Oh no, thank you ma'am. This fifty going towards some flowers for my wife. I should've been home by now.” we said our goodnight and I shut the door behind him.  

I looked over at Colson slumped over on the couch. I was so upset at this man I should leave his ass just like this and go back to bed. But deep down I would've felt terrible doing him like that. Sucking my teeth, I walked toward him, knelt down and pulled his boots off. “I'm fucked right now.” He laughed. “I know. You sneaked off to the club and had fun, didn’t you?” He nodded. Inside I was boiling but I kept a calm demeanor. I helped him take his jacket off and put it on the kitchen chair. I’d spotted my to-go container from earlier on the counter. Perhaps a little food would sober him up. “Okay babe open.” I tried to feed him some of the leftover fried rice, but it just ended up falling on the couch and carpet. So much for that idea. “Damn baby your skin. Its fucking soft.” His head was in my lap touching my thigh. Compliments won’t help you Colson. I rubbed his head trying to figure out how the fuck I was going to get this man in bed without breaking my back. I couldn’t let his tall ass sleep in the couch. It would've been too small for him and he already complains about neck problems. “Babe lets go to the bedroom.” I stood up and pulled him towards me trying to help him up. He stumbled off the couch. “Colson don't fall on me! Please baby be careful.” I was deathly afraid this big tall ass man would fall on top of a little five-foot one Sienna and I wouldn't have been able to lift him off me.

The time seemed to drag on as I helped him through the hall. I had to stop every couple of seconds to catch my breath and readjust. Colson may seem light but trust me he weighs a hell of a lot more than I do. I wasn't used to this. When we got to the bedroom I sat him up on the edge of the bed. I unbuckled his belt to get his pants off. “Oh shit. I'm finna get a blow.” He looked at me smiling. “No baby I'm trying to help you get comfortable. Help me I'm struggling.” He pulled his pants down to the knee waiting for me to do something. Shaking my head. I swear men are different creatures. I pulled his pants through his legs leaving them on the rug. He fell back on the bed, eyes closing. I straddled him and unbuttoned his shirt. He grabbed my ass rubbing it. I felt that big ass dick starting to stir in his boxers. “Baby when can I fuck this juicy ass. You've been holding out for too long.” My flesh was weak, but I was still pissed. Seriously now is not the time to try and get me to have anal. I put my hands on his chest. “No babe. Stop.” I looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Its four in the morning. We sleep now.” He sighed. “That's the perfect time to do the freakiest shit.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah sure it is. Look baby it's late. I'm tired. Sleep honey.” Kissing him of the forehead I lifted off him and pulled the comforter on top of us hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.

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Periodically he’d get up and go to the bathroom, sleep for a bit, hold me, watch tv, walk out onto the balcony. I was certain his hangover was creeping up on him. Shit that's what he gets for sneaking out to the club and drinking like a fish! I mean I kind of felt sorry for him every time he held me. But then I remembered he lied about me to Jade telling her I had food poisoning. Really Colson that's the best lie you could have come up with? Honestly, I wasn't sure how to get my emotions in check. And to top it all off he didn't even apologies last night to me or that kind gentleman that got him home safely.

By eight o’clock I was up and ready to take on the day. I had taken my shower got dressed in some black leggings and a Fendi crop top (courtesy of babe) and was cooking some breakfast in the kitchen. Colson was still in bed sleeping. He’d had a rough few hours fighting that hangover. He told me the worst part of it was the nausea, so I had poured him a cup of orange juice and picked up one of his joints laying around to take it to him. I walked over to his side of the bed and sat down putting the cup on the nightstand. “Goodmorning baby.” I said with a cheerfulness in my voice. His eyes squinted open. “Ah fuck. Close the fucking blinds baby, too much fucking light.” I shook my head and got up to close the blinds and shut the door making the room dark inside. I sat back down on the bed. “Are you okay?” I asked him. “Look at me, does it look like I'm okay. My stomach feels sick and don't talk so loud.” But sir you're yelling but whatever.

Okay so someone definitely has an attitude this morning. “So I got you some orange juice. Actually, I made breakfast nothing too heavy just some fried egg, toast, and oatmeal.” He thought about it for a minute. “I'll take the toast, and can you get me that bottle of iced coffee out the fridge.” I simply nodded and went to get it. When I got back, we just continued our conversation. “I found this joint laying around. I figured it might help with the nausea.” I hit it up with the lighter that was on the floor and passed it to him. “Thanks babe,” He tongue kissed me then planted another on my chin and forehead. “That’s why I keep yo pretty ass around. You always know what daddy needs." I flicked my hair back. “Yeah whatever, you say that to all ya lil hoes.” He was such a player and could sweet talk any woman he met. I knew that because well first he did it to me and second, he flirted with women when he was out with me, so I had witnessed this first hand. His charming, smooth talking ass got on my nerves I swear.  “Yeah I do but you're my favorite hoe.” He smiled at me blowing smoke out his mouth. I gave him the finger and snatched the joint out his hand. We smoked in the room talking and laughing for another twenty minutes before he got up out the bed to take a shower. “Our flight is at seven. I know that's late as fuck but I don’t have a show on Monday so shit.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Okay babe I'm gonna get my shit packed and we’ll figure out something.”

I'd realized that most of our shit was in the living room all sprawled out everywhere. Clothes on the floor, the coffee table had jars of weed and rolling papers all over it. The kitchen counter had liquor bottles and shot glasses galore. Looking around you’d think our vacay was lit and honestly looking back on everything that took place it really was though. I had cleaned up everything and had my stuff packed up an hour later. Colson was dressed and feeling much better than how he was earlier. He played music from the sound bar while he smoked some more. I joined him on the balcony outside. It was a sunny day but there was a nice breeze hitting our skin. “You’re feeling better I see.” He was dressed in a black merch shirt and a pair of grey joggers looking like a mutha fucking snack.  

“Yeah I'm at a eighty percent.” He yawned and threw his arms up to stretch. “Only a eighty baby?” I questioned. “Yeah my fuckin head just feels clouded can't think straight.” Well that’s what happens when you go out to party and drink like a fish and lie and say I have food poisoning, I just smiled. “Poor baby. Well I gotta go lay down seeing as how I have food poisoning and all.” I glanced at him and got up from the table. He grabbed my arm in attempt to stop me. “Whoa baby, I need your help with something.” He looked me up and down gawking. “Oh please! Lotion is in the bathroom. I'm sure the hub has a nice selection of videos for you to choose from.” “Why would I do that when I’ve got a real live fucking mermaid in front of me.” He pulled me onto his lap. I could feel his haed dick. I sucked my teeth. Damn him and his charming good looks. “Please baby. Just help me feel better.” He looked at me with those beautiful eyes. How could I deny him in this state?      

I dropped down to my knees and began pulling at his joggers freeing that big juicy dick from its confines. It slapped me in the face, but I liked it so much. I felt like a total slut, but it was worth it. I looked up at him and spit on his dick head twirling my tongue in all that pre-cum and saliva. He threw his head back in ecstasy. “Oh fuck. You dirty little slut.” I smiled back up at him and took that dick so deep my throat his balls were almost touching my chin. I pulled my top up exposing my breast. My nipples were hard, the cool air touching them just made them even more sensitive. I deep throated him while pinching my nipples. He looked down at me in disbelief at how deep I was taking his meat. I had practiced with bananas and popsicles for a while now so I'm just glad it was finally paying off.  

“You like that daddy?” i jacked his dick with both hands leaving a trail of spit from my mouth to that dick. He moaned. “God damn baby yes. Play with that pussy while you suck me.” I nodded and put my right hand in my leggings, my cunt was already soaking wet. Sucking dick really turns me on. I put two fingers inside myself and went to town. He reached down to play with my nipples while I had my mouth full of his cock gagging on it and loving it with my throat. “Baby that mouth is incredible.” He grunted out. Next thing I know he pulled me up and tongue kissed me then went down my neck whispering dirty things in my ear. “You are such a nasty little girl.” Kiss. “That pussy is mine.” Kiss. “I own you.” Kiss. “Soon I'm going to fuck that ass too. Just think, when you're on your period you can please me and keep me satisfied,” Kiss. “And these tits...” He left a trail of kisses from my neck to my hard nipples and started sucking and biting them. Alternating from the left to right.  

My breath quickened. I just realized how much I loved my nipples being sucked, such a turn on. He went to biting them harder it did hurt but the pleasure was amazing. I couldn't wait any longer I needed to be fucked hard and deep. My pussy was throbbing so hard I could feel my heartbeat down there. “Please fuck me.” I moaned. He put his hand in my panties rubbing my slit gently putting two fingers inside. “You’ve got the wettest cunt. I swear.” He was working those fingers inside me. I could hear my wetness sounding like someone stirring macaroni. I whined and moaned. It felt so fucking good to have something buried in my cunt. “Taste yourself.” When he pulled those fingers out of my panties, they were coated with my juices. It was so thick and creamy. I gladly sucked on them tasting myself. “Oh fuck baby what's that pussy taste like? Hmm tell me.”  

He was so amazed by me sucking those fingers I could tell my man was in pure bliss. “Mmm it tastes sweet daddy.” All this teasing was just turning me on even more I just wanted to be fucked already. “Pleasee fuck me.” I bit my lip and put a pleading look on my face. At this point was just waiting to be penetrated no matter what hole he wanted to use. I just needed to be filled up. I started playing with my pussy in front of him and licking my own juices off. He just watched me in disbelief, I'm sure he couldn't believe I was being this nasty for him outside on a hotel balcony thirty-seven floors up. Something in his eyes changed suddenly they got dark. He balled up his fist and continued watching me. I was about to suck his dick again when he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom and threw me down on the bed hard. “You little teasing bitch, I'll teach you a lesson.” I felt scared. I wasn't sure what he was going to do to me. What he was going to do to my body. He yanked my leggings and panties off in one swift motion. I sat up on my elbows to get a good view of what was going on. He spread my legs open exposing my pussy to his eyes. “I’m gonna fuck your face and you’re going to like it.” He pulled the rest of his clothes off. I smirked up at him playing with my tits. I was so ready for this.

“Wait come lay across my lap first. Crawl over to me and keep those sexy ass heels on.” I did as I was told feeling so anxious about what was going to happen next. I laid there in silence hoping he would do something to ease the aching between my legs. “I don't want you to make a sound. You’ve been such a tease with that little slut body.” He spread my ass cheeks open so he could get a good look at my pussy and asshole.“Hmm you're really fucking wet.” His thumb glided over my clit rubbing it in circles then he went up to my asshole putting my juices on it. I tensed up. “Relax baby. I’ve got something special for you.” I couldn't see what was going on behind me, but I heard what sounded like a plastic bag and something clanking with the rings in his finger. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out my chest. Colson has never fully penetrated my asshole with anything besides his finger and honestly, I wasn't sure if it would hurt or not. I had watched anal porn and thought it was erotic but to actually put something back there I was too nervous.

“What's going on?” I asked knowing fully well what was about to take place.  “Shh calm down.” He rubbed my back. “You trust me Sienna?” Of course I trust you but this was all happening too soon. Vaginal is one thing but my ass was sacred. “Yes baby but I'm nervous, this feels like losing my virginity all over again. What if it hurts?” He reassured me. “It might hurt for a little while, but I promise it’ll start to feel really fucking good.” He slipped the toy in my pussy and started fucking me with it. I was so pent up with emotion I came instantly. “Yes..yes...I want it. Fuck that feels amazing.” I moaned and yelled out. “Good girl. Okay now relax.” I inhaled and felt that toy go right into my ass. “Oh god!” The feeling was odd. Definitely nothing I've ever felt before. I wasn't in as much pain as I thought I would be. Though it did sting a lot! “Fuck that looks so sexy.” He slapped me on the ass and stood me up on my feet. “Come look in the mirror baby.” He led me over to a wall mirror next to the T.V. “Oww. It stings a lot baby. Please take it out.” I groaned putting my head on his chest. He kissed me on the forehead. “Shh it's okay. Give it a few minutes to get adjusted.” I nodded.

“Suck me off while you wait.” I squat down in front of him. Trying to fight through the stinging in my asshole. He held on to the back of my head guiding me to his dick. It was glistening with pre-cum. I took all of it to the back of my throat. Gagging and slurping on it like a true queen of sucking dick. “Sienna baby...:” I looked up at him. “Ah I'm never leaving you.” He panted. “That throat is fucking gold. C'mere come sit on it.” He laid down on the bed and waited for me straddle him. I gently put the head of his dick inside and bounced up and down on it. “Yes ride that shit baby, get it.” His eyes rolled in the back of his head grabbing my ass. I went faster. “Cum for me daddy. I want your cum.” “Okay baby. How's your ass feel?” “It feels better.” The stinging was slowing starting to fade away and was replaced with a fullness and felt tight. Maybe this whole anal thing wasn't as bad as I thought. “Only better?” He moaned. “Hm I think I like it baby.” He smiled and whispered in my ear. “Can I fuck your juicy ass next time?” He kissed me and I nodded. “Mm thank you baby. I want to cum on your pretty face.” I hopped off and assumed the position my body was spent.    

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After everything that took place with this crazy ass Vegas weekend I was just so glad to be back in L.A. don't get me wrong Vegas is lit but there's nothing like being back home. Marco had sent Colson a text to let him know we were welcomed back to his club and home anytime. He said and I quote “Don't worry about the couch. Things like that happen all the time.” That just made me feel even more dirtier than I already was, but Colson assured me he was just joking. Hm I had doubts. Jade facetimed me on the way to the airport. We talked everything over, and she insisted we get together soon for an all-girls trip. That she was friends with some cool down to earth women, and I agreed seeing as how I needed to make friends already. I was tired of going out either by myself or with Colson.

Monday was such a chill day I unpacked and just settled back into daily life. I cleaned up my apartment before I left so I didn't have to worry about that. My car however was a different story. I had a bad habit of leaving bags of clothes in my backseat. There were magazines everywhere, just a bunch of junk that needed to be brought inside. One of the perks of dating a celeb was that they always got goodie bags of merch whenever they went to an event. Colson would just throw all the stuff in my car and forget all about it. He didn't care about that crap anyways so I took full advantage. Just last month he got a free California king bed courtesy of some movie he was shooting as a thank you and guess what he didn't even want the damn thing! He gave it to me as a thank you for treating him right. I happily obliged.

Colson went back to his house and did whatever he does. I didn't much care for The Boulevard. I mean the name says it. People over all the fucking time day and night. It could be five in the morning and I swear folks will still be posted up kicking it. Not to mention all his bros were living there and shit is just awkward. I couldn't even walk around in a big t-shirt and panties because I never knew when one of them would just pop up while I'm fixing a bowl of cereal or some shit and Colson would not ask them to leave under any circumstances. It was thier home just as much as it was his. All I can do is respect it.  

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“And then she did what!?” Slim sat forward on the couch letting Colson finish his story. “Mannn I'm telling you I had that bitch doing everything I said. Bend over, suck me, all that shit. My bitch so fire Jade even wanted a taste.” Colson stood around with a beer in hand talking. “Nigga you lucky as fuck.” Slim got up to throw his beer in the trash can shaking his head. “All I'm saying is Vegas was lit and I'm a muthafuckin player!” Colson screamed out loud. All the guys laughed. “Ayy hook me up with one of her sisters.” Slim asked. Colson shook his head and took a sip of his beer. “She’s an only child so good luck with that.” In his mind the Vegas trip was a sucess. They had spent time together, went to the club, had a lot of fucking sex. It was everything that a Vegas trip was supposed to be.  

“Bro i went to the club got so fucked my security had to drive me back to the hotel.” Colson laughed. “Shit was so crazy. All the hoes was dancing on me. Man after a few vodka shots I don't even remember what the fuck.” He sat down on the couch putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Damn all that and Sienna ain’t say shit?” “Nope.” He thought about it for a moment. “Well I don't know. She seemed cool but I can’t call it. She's so damn good at hiding her emotions sometimes.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Ah bro looks like you’ve found the female version of yourself.” Slim explained. All Colson could do was agree in silence. Sienna did have some of his characteristics.  

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A/N: Ladiessssss part 3 is up. What y'all think? I wanted to focus on getting some background info on S+C but trust me there is always more to the story *Big ass smirk on my face while Birdman hands*. I’m like 80% sure I know where I want to take this couple but ya know things never end up how they start. I really hope y’all have been enjoying this series. I swear they my mf babies. <3. 

[twistednuns]

December 2019

Maxim calling out of the blue, inviting me to the Mine concert later that month.

Stumbling upon great inspiration for plant-based buddha bowls.

@shitgothssay memes.

Zotter salted caramel chocolate.

Finding out about the fact that you can just add the letter A to some words to transform them into adjectives. Like aglitter or aglow and aglisten.

Ayurvedic Kapha tea with some black tea, honey and milk. Sonnentor Gute Laune tea. Green tea with toasted coconut.

Isana shower oil. Works wonders for dry skin. Such a smooth and creamy texture. Great for shaving, too.

Winning the pub quiz - again! I played with Maggie, Dennis, Daniel and Steffen (Team name: Three geese in a trenchcoat) and we won 178€. However, the best thing about this was when I finally solved the anagram after thinking about it for 10 minutes. It was Greta Thunberg! Winning is lovely, of course, but solving the anagram is already a personal win for me each time.

Tuesdays. Coming home early, sleeping it off.

Being super rested after a nap, cooking a huge pot of veggie stew and my ratatouille signature recipe, even preparing a batch of butter bean hummus and salad dressing. Listening to folk music, singing along, even dancing at some point. Standing there, peeling the potatos… Happy moment.

Signature manicure. Always. This time: bluish iridescent lilac with the obligatory black dot.

A personal realisation. I’ve been massively out of touch with myself. I’ve stopped journaling, stopped doing things for myself because they’re beneficial and not because they’re convenient and numb everything. And why is that a good thing? Well, only being at this point and realising what’s wrong with me makes it possible to do something against it. To come up a self-care plan. To make myself feel better.

Semi-deleting Facebook.

Spending time with Manu for the first time in three months. Watching a documentary about black holes and a cheesy Christmas movie. Ordering south Indian food, cuddling up in bed. Sometimes I don’t know why I keep isolation myself. Being around people can be really lovely and soothing if you can be yourself around them. It’s just that I often feel the presence of other living beings drains my energy.

The best massage I ever had. From now on I’ll always request Yaya as my massage therapist. She is SICK. Strong, merciless, forces me into weird poses and makes my back crack.

Also: the chocolate-filled mint hard candy they hand out at the massage studio. I used to hate mint-infused chocolate but somehow I think these are delicious. Perfect after-torture-treat.

Persimmons. Obsessed.

My eye colour in artificial light. A dark moss green with caramel-coloured speckles and a dark rim.

The National playing a 2-hour-long concert and including some of my favourite songs from the High Violet album. Fangirling with Anika.

The smell of cold. You know, that whiff of cool air you get when you’re sniffing a jacket that’s been hanging on the balcony for a few hours to air out.

Learning more about Claire Saffitz from this article - she likes arts and crafts, is a homebody and has degrees in history and literature! She basically enrolled in culinary school because she was bored after graduation. She’s an enigma of a quirky kind. Not brilliant and scattered, but determined and aimless. Not brave and rebellious, but anxious and creative. She hates change yet pursues it, wants order but trades in chaos. She’s loved because she hates stuff; performs well because she can’t perform. And above all, she’s aggressively regular—and something about this makes the crowd go wild.

Fresh laundry smell on my blankets and pillows. And my new gravity blanket. It weighs 11kg which feels crazy heavy when you carry it but the weight evenly distributes over the body when you’re lying down. Apparently the pressure triggers the release of stress hormones. So far I’m sleeping like a baby and I don’t seem to wake up or move much at night.

Stephanie Madewell. I love everything she writes, her blog is such a godsend of beautiful, important, eclectic ideas. One thing I especially like are her imaginary outfits.

Princess Margaret’s limerick contest with President Lyndon B. Johnson in The Crown. Pure comedy. “There was a young lady from Dallas / who used a dynamite stick as a phallus / they found her vagina in North Carolina / and her asshole in Buckingham Palace.”

Little pieces of string in the corners of a duvet cover. It’s the first time I’ve seen those. So practical for big blankets!

Mental health days. I needed this. So much. Mornings in bed, reading for hours. Drinking a whole pot of tea.

Partner yoga. Chanting the closing mantra together.

Making vegan energy balls for my brother. I adapted the recipe and made my own versions so I ended up with a batch of pistachio/cherry and mango/sesame.

Freaking out whenever I see a cute cat. Damn, I really need to spend more time with animals. My highlight: breakfast in bed, watching a video of an adorable cat giving birth. I cried. Yup.

Going swimming for the first time in, man, I don’t even know. Forever. I didn’t swim for a long time, maybe half an hour, but muscle memory kicked in immediately. Water is totally my element. And, as if it had been destiny: I chose the day they cut the hanging plants in the main hall and the guy gave me a variety of five different cuttings to take home!! He made me a very happy girl.

The ink blue sky right after sunset. / The morning after the full moon in Gemini (the moon still bright and huge, visible in the bluish-grey Western sky). / When the sun suddenly comes out after a very dark and gloomy morning.

Buying a new phone. The old one was broken beyond repair. I even got a nice cork protective case. How could I ever live without an uncracked screen? The battery now actually lasts for more than a day. Nice.

Odd bits of knowledge: A galanthophile is an enthusiastic collector and identifier of snowdrop (Galanthus) species and cultivars. (Wikipedia) // Scientists theorize the Universe might have cracks in it: long thin boundaries that formed as space cooled after the Big Bang. 95 billion lightyears long and a few femtometers thin, these wrinkles in space-time would hold enough energy to bend light and destroy entire planets. (PHD comics) // the word to bloviate (German meaning: schwafeln, langatmig vortragen) // In Japan we have three rituals: HANAMI, TSUKIMI, and YUKIMI. HANAMI is watching the flowers. TSUKIMI is watching the moon, YUKIMI is watching the snow. It’s a beautiful tradition when you invite people to watch with you. I remember them all. (Yoko Ono) // In linguistics, prosody is concerned with those elements of speech that are not individual phonetic segments (vowels and consonants) but are properties of syllables and larger units of speech, including linguistic functions such as intonation, tone, stress, and rhythm. Such elements are known as suprasegmentals. Prosody may reflect various features of the speaker or the utterance: the emotional state of the speaker; the form of the utterance (statement, question, or command); the presence of irony or sarcasm; emphasis, contrast, and focus. It may otherwise reflect other elements of language that may not be encoded by grammar or by choice of vocabulary. (Wikipedia) //

I know I mention this a lot but the first olfactory whiff of a freshly cut open passion fruit is one of the best smells I know.

When my breakfast tastes like a candy bar. Which it immediately does whenever I add almond butter and cocoa nibs to porridge.

Yoga at home on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I’m often too lazy to get out my yoga mat but whenever I do afterwards I’m always so glad I practiced. Also: going to yoga class despite being extremely stressed out. It actually helped me silence some of these tormenting thoughts in my head.

Cutting my own hair. It’s kinda ridiculous and layered but I love the new bounce.

Michael Nyman - Musique à grande vitesse x // feels like it makes my pulse quicker, it’s urging and forceful.

My adventures in psychedelia - an article about the therapeutic effect of psychoactive drugs. I’m going to get Michael Pollan’s book about the topic from the library next week. So interesting.

People who are still writing letters.

My pupils. I realised that some of them have become very fine people. Open, compassionate, motivated, interested, bright, polite. Like the students who attended our first school magazine meeting in their spare time - on the last school day before the Christmas holidays - and had all these amazing ideas. Victor, being able to hold a conversation like an adult. Marks cuddling that dog in front of the supermarket. My tenth-graders being really reasonable, managable, easy to talk to.

Liza Weil’s role as Shy Baldwin’s bass player in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It took me three episodes to recognize her.

A little embroidery set. I love keeping my hands busy when I’m watching movies.

Making vegan walnut lebkuchen and a very good batch of crisp bread in one go.

Roast apples with candied almonds and marzipan for Christmas dinner. Some buckwheat chocolate cookies. Actually helping out my mum in the kitchen.

Sitting at the piano with my brother, singing tunes from our childhood series, Disney songs, pop songs… We both had sore throats afterwards.

Visiting Sash’s parents over Christmas. Her mum cooked a pretty great lunch and we played board games.

Learning how to make a monkey fist knot.

Finding a new spot I like in my apartment. The chair right next to the window at the kitchen table. It’s nice and warm because you can sit beside the heater and while you have breakfast or browse through a cookbook you can see what’s going on outside.

Seeing the incredible gobelins at Kunsthalle / Fäden der Moderne exhibition. I loved the Le Corbusier ones.

Visiting Manu at his parents' place. Playing board games together, his mum feeding me with parsley potatoes and a weird _bird's milk_ dessert. Lying on the sofa, watching old movies. It's weirdly nice to be part of a normal family dynamic once in a while.

Andre saving my New Year’s Eve at the very last minute. Out of the blue he suggested a trip to Czech Republic right after midnight the day before. I was like… okay, let’s do this! So I met up with him and three people I had never met before in Regensburg and we drove to Český Krumlov, checked into our fancy hotel and walked down to the city centre. Czech food for dinner, a band playing at the city square. We climbed up to the castle for the turn of the year. This must have been the first year that started out with a proper New Year’s kiss. Afterwards we went to a weird music bar and - apparently - one of the best clubs in the country. I had a lot of fun. Even though getting Andre home was quite a challenge.

[keepseaveyweird]

Requested: yes- a blurb with Zach where you’ve been getting blown off by him so you’re spending a lot of time with jack and he takes you to get a tattoo and Zach gets jealous of how much time you’re spending with him

Word count: 2469

a/n: hi I haven’t written in 79 years so I hope you like it!!! It’s definitely a bit longer than i blurb so if you’re into short ones I’m sorry, but if you like em longer (I have the brain of a child) I gotchu :)

“I can’t babe, I have to go into the studio today.” He told her over the phone, a frown once again taking over her face.

“But Jack and Corbs aren’t going in today?” She asked him, almost hoping to catch him in a lie.  She knew it wouldn’t work, knew even though he had been blowing her off for different reasons each day, he’d never lie, never cheat.

“We’re recording ad libs and a couple of solo parts, they don’t need to. I’m sorry love, but tomorrow I promise.” Zach said, but she knew that tomorrow would mean next week, or that tomorrow meant a measly Facetime call instead of being together.

She wasn’t sure what had happened, if she had done anything wrong or said something to make him distance himself, but she could feel the tension between her and Zach, a tension that hadn’t ever been there before. When they first met, it was an instant connection. The giggles never stopped and the conversation was endless but now it was a different story, it was small one word texts or filler conversation while they caught up with each other. It was almost as if they had lost their spark, except y/n hadn’t. y/n felt the same love for Zach she felt the first time she told him, but she was beginning to think Zach no longer felt the same.

“Oh, okay well-” her phone buzzed, interrupting her as she took it away from her ear to see a call from Jack coming in, “I gotta go Z, I have to take this call but I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, bye babe,” he said before hanging up, forgetting or intentionally not saying ‘i love you’.

y/n answered Jack’s call, a sigh escaping her mouth.

“Hey,” she said glumly.

“Okay, what’d he do this time?” Jack questioned, hearing the sadness in her tone. As Zach had been pushing her away for the unknown reason, y/n had begun to confide in Jack. Jack, who answered every call, who had the right thing to say for everything. Jack who was so good at listening it was scary, who could make even the saddest person’s day so much better, as he was quite literally the personification of the sun. Jack, who was always there for her and quickly became each other’s best friends. They had been spending a lot of time together ever since Zach started acting weird. They’d have sleepovers, go shopping, Jack taught her how to skateboard and she in return taught him how to cook his favorite meal. The inside jokes they shared brought them to tears and they held no secrets back from each other, they told each other everything, which made Jack the perfect person to rant to.

“It’s just… he did it again! Made an excuse and before he hung up, didn’t say ‘I love you,’ or give me a chance to tell him and I don’t know what to do!” she exclaimed, a pool of tears welling in her eyes. But she refused to let them fall, refused to let him do that to her.

“Okay, come over. He just left for the studio and we can hang out,” he told her, in which she agreed and quickly sped over to the boy’s shared house. It was quiet, too quiet to be the boy’s house, but Zach was gone and Jonah, Corbyn and Daniel were hidden away in their rooms. As y/n walked in, unlocking the door with the key Zach got her for their one-year anniversary which was two years ago, she found Jack at the kitchen counter, a notebook and pencil in front of him.

“Whatcha doing there,” y/n smiled as she watched her best friend deep in thought while he stared at the sketch.

“I’m getting my next tattoo tonight, wanna come?” He grinned, knowing she wasn’t big on needles being repeatedly and speedily stabbed into someone skins over and over and over again. She didn’t understand the addiction behind it, why people liked the pain, why people would cover their entire bodies in ink. Though she didn’t understand, she loved Jacks. Loved that they were tasteful, original and had meaning behind almost each and every one.  

“I mean sure…” she drifted, taking a seat in the stool next to him, “what is it?”

“Okay it looks and sounds stupid, but once the artist does it it’ll look sick, I promise,” he slid his sketchbook in front of her, showing off his half-decent drawing of five lights forming a star.

y/n raised her eyebrows, wondering if she should take back the admiration for Jack’s tattoo’s, “what’s it mean?”

“Well,” he began pointing to four of the bulbs, “these four are for Corbs, D, Jo and Zach. But this one is for the Limelights. I wouldn’t be here without any of it, something to remind me if for some reason my head ever gets a little too big” Jack smiled.

And y/n took everything back she had once thought when she saw the sketch, because picturing the reaction of the boys, the reaction from the fans and smile that would capture Jack’s face once it was done was enough to convince her that it was perfect.

So a couple hours later when she found herself sitting next to Jack, who winced now and again when a needle hit a soft spot on his arm. While the artist shaded each bulb, each detail, the two friends discussed Zach.

“I mean, I literally haven’t heard from him since he hung up,” y/n checked the time, nine pm, “I mean it’s been almost twelve hours!”

“Love, the studio is literally a time warp, a casino. You walk in thinking it’s been two hours and it’s been two days.” Jack told her, looking up at her from the table.

y/n sighed, “it’s not just today though, it’s been almost a month since we’ve gone on a real date.”

“You’ve been together three years? You still need a proper date?” Jack asked.

“No, I don’t need a proper date, but I need effort and he’s not putting any in. I know he’s busy, but so am I. I have school and a job of my own but I still find time, still make time for not only him but for you and the other three too.”

Jack thought for a moment, the only sound being the buzzing of the tattoo gun against his arm.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him, he’s been quiet around us too. Maybe it’s just stress? Or he could be having a man-period, lord knows he’s basically a girl when it comes to his mood swings.”

His comment earned him a slap on the thigh, causing the artist to laugh as he winced in pain once again.

“Okay, I deserved that one,” he laughed, “but I really think it’s just a phase. I mean it’s Zach, he’s crazy about you. Has been for almost three years and I don’t think that’s changed or will change anytime soon.” He told her, a zap of confidence surging through her body.

The conversation died, and silence took over once again, as y/n got up from her seat to look at the designs posted on the walls. Flowers, snakes, crosses, naked ladies and quotes scattered all over the walls had her mesmerized. The detail of a horses mane and the line work of simple quotes made her fascination for tattoos grow with each one that crossed her eyes.

“You thinking about getting one?” the tattoo artist asked as he washed up Jack’s tattoo, applying a bandage over it so it can heal and be admired all at once.

“Oh, no. God no,” y/n laughed. Jack laughed with her, standing up from the table.

“I think you should get one, you’d look like a badass,” he told her, an arm wrapping around her as she thought about it.

So after almost a half hour of fighting, she sat there on the table, getting the transfer of her favorite quote onto her collar bone. It was truly beautiful, a handwritten cursive font, thin but elegant, the perfect first tattoo.

There weren’t many things she was sure of that day. Wasn’t sure what was going on with Zach, wasn’t sure he was okay, that they were okay. But she was sure that this tattoo was what she needed, to push herself and to remind herself whose in control.

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul” she whispered to herself as she looked in the mirror to make sure the position was to her liking.

“Does it look good?” she asked turning to Jack, her grabbed his best friend’s arm and shook her excitedly.

“It looks so good!” he exclaimed.

And suddenly it was happening, the slight sting of the needle making contact with her skin. The artist dragging it a short distance before taking a break to stretch the skin and get a better angle. As he went on, creating words along her bone, she came to realize why everyone who got their first tattoo never made it their last. Because though it was uncomfortable, the pain of the needle, she liked it. It was a different kind of pain, one that didn’t hurt her heart like the recent pain she had been dealing with, the constant uncertainty and the constant push away. She knew the pain of the needle was temporary, as she didn’t love the needle. But she loved Zach, and she wasn’t so sure the pain of Zach blowing her off was necessarily as temporary as she hoped it was.

When they got home, the house was still quiet, not a boy insight as they made their way to the couch to watch a movie. They were close, too close some would say, but that was them. They would cuddle and share blankets as their hands brushed past each others in the popcorn bowl and they knew it was nothing but platonic friendliness. They all knew it; Daniel, Corbyn, Jonah, their families, the fans, Zach. But Zach wasn’t so sure when he walked through the door, coming home from his studio session to find Jack hovering over her, lightly brushing his hand over y/n’s chest on the couch.

“What the fuck?” Zach said, slamming the door behind him and throwing his keys on the dining table as the two of them looked up.

“Oh hey dude,” Jack said waving with a smile, oblivious to Zach’s anger, still too close to y/n for his liking.

“Don’t ‘hey dude’ me. What the fuck is this?” he raised his eyebrows, as y/n and Jack looked at each other confused.

“You don’t like it?” y/n asked, and Zach’s eyes popped out of his head as sped around to the other side of couch, blocking the view of the movie.

“What is your problem?” Jack asked, standing up to face him as y/n repositioned herself between the two still on the couch.

“My problem? My problem! My problem is that you and y/n have been spending so much time together and now I walk in to see my best friend on top of my girlfriend! Is this why you two have gotten so close lately? Going behind my back? Thinking I haven’t noticed how much alone time you guys share? I’m stupid, trust me I know, but I’m not an idiot Jack!” Zach yelled, causing the three other band mates to peak their heads around the staircase.

Jack and y/n looked at each other, eyes wide as it clicked in both their heads. It was why Zach was so distant, why Zach was acting strange, why he was blowing her off. And they couldn’t help but collapse in laughter, tears streaming down their face as he stood their confused and the other three made their way into the living room to investigate.

“Oh, so now you’re laughing? You think this funny?” Zach boomed, suddenly becoming angry again. It only caused more laughter as their stomach began to cramp, Jack rolling on the couch and y/n already on the floor.

“N-n-no,” y/n cried, a hand on her stomach, “it’s just.”

“What?! Someone please explain to me why cheating is so fucking funny!” Zach yelled.

“SHE’S NOT CHEATING ON YOU, YOU MORON!” Jack laughed, his face against the couch cushion, “no offense y/n, but Zach, us? Together? Are you crazy? She’s like my sister!”

“Yeah? Well then what the hell did I just walk into then?” Zach questioned, crossing his arms.

“Z,” y/n said, still giggling as she moved her white v-neck to the side to show him the bandage that had pooled with blood around the ink. His eyes widened, moving quickly and sitting beside her to look at it more closely.

“You got a tattoo? You hate tattoos?” Zach said, lightly grazing it like Jack had been doing when he walked in. Suddenly it clicked in his head as he repeated the same actions, snapping his head to see a smirking Jack.

“You were just checking it weren’t you?” Zach sighed, his head resting on his girl’s lap.

“That’s exactly what I was doing,” Jack laughed.

Zach grabbed a hand of each of theirs, squeezing it hard as regret coursed through his body, “I’m so sorry, I feel like an idiot. I should’ve known nothing was going on.” he confessed, doing the quick handshake with his band mate before wrapping himself around y/n as Jack left the room still laughing.

“I’m so sorry babe, I should’ve trusted you, I don’t know what came over me. I guess I just saw how much fun you and Jack had together and I started to distance myself, thinking the worst possible situation. I’m an idiot.” He told her before capturing her lips with his. Gags came from the kitchen, as Corbyn, Daniel and Jonah sat in the kitchen, but not for long as they all rushed back upstairs like little kids who still believed in coodies.

“It’s okay, I should’ve realized how it looks to some other people, but you’re it Z. You’re it for me and I love you so much,” y/n told him with a smile.

“I’m glad, because you’re it for me too and I love you more,” Zach kissed her once more before looking back down at her new addition to her body, “I really like that, it’s so sick.”

y/n laughed, “I think you should see Jack’s, I think you’ll like his a lot more,” she smiled, as Zach replaced him on the couch to watch the rest of the movie, making up for the lost time.  

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