#first drawing I've made in a while that I actually had some emotion making

[donutboxers]

💙Wishful thinking💙

[cbrownjc]

So it really seems like Armand is Alice - or Daniel's lost memories of Armand have been conflated with his memories of Alice, or something. I'd be really interested to know your thoughts on how much Louis knows? We see malicious triumph from him but (I think) not really an awareness that this specific memory has heavy shades of Armand in it, more like he was happy to weaponise any terrible memory of Daniel's that came to hand.

But how could Louis not know? If Armand and Daniel were together in the past I bet Louis knew about it and probably still does?

(Also your Tumblr is amazing and fascinating and ILU)

Hello! I'm glad you like my Tumblr and thank you for the amazingly kind words! *hugs* 💕

So, Armand & Daniel and Louis. Now, my gut feeling at the moment is that Louis knows a lot about what happened between Armand and Daniel. But possibly not everything.

Or, more directly, I do think it's possible that Louis doesn't fully know how serious it really got between Armand and Daniel; that Armand and Daniel actually truly, deeply, and sincerely fell in love with each other. I may be wrong about that (as I've only had a chance to watch the episode once so far), but there are some little things that are making me think that for now.

The main reason is that we now have an answer for why Louis has called Daniel "our boy" before. (Which he hasn't done this season yet, but I'm sure it's coming.) IMO the reason was indirectly revealed in the scene when Real Rashid brought out the pictures . . . and what Louis and Armand both said about who some of the pictures were of: which is that they were pictures of young human men that were kept with Louis and Armand -- in their company -- for a period of time.

These two -- Louis and Armand -- would basically add a third into their relationship at one time or another. And that they did so a LOT more than once. And that it was something that was always initiated by Louis -- probably because it was something that was Louis' idea to do in the first place, back when they first did so with whomever the first young man they pulled in was.

We don't know how long these young men were kept with them, but I don't think it's wrong to guess that some were kept for rather long periods. It was Louis who would draw these young men into them . . . then some would be drained dry at some point if they weren't just let go.

And Daniel was basically set to be the next in the long line of young men that Louis and Armand would do this with. That is what was initially happening that night at Polynesian Mary's. With Louis, once again, being the one to draw the young man -- in this case, Daniel -- in.

But what made everything different this time -- and what made Daniel different from all the young men that had come before him wrt this -- was that first interview. And I think Assad hinted in an interview during the press tour as to why Armand steps in and saves Daniel's life when Louis attacks Daniel. And that reason is that during that interview, Daniel is able to understand and connect with Louis in a way that Armand hasn't been able to during all their years together. And so becomes fascinated by Daniel because of that.

And I don't think I'm guessing that Armand never became fascinated in such a way with any of the other young men that Louis lured into a triad with them. (Or, if Armand ever did, it was a very fleeting thing).

So, I think in this instance, the third that was lured in by Louis actually ended up fully capturing Armand's attention and, eventually, his heart. And while, as with all the other young men they had done this with before, Daniel was very much "our boy" for both him and Armand in Louis' eyes . . . there were deeper emotions that were growing between Armand and Daniel during that time that Louis just didn't really see -- or that maybe Armand kept Louis from seeing.

Because remember, Armand is much more skilled at the Mind Gift than Louis is. And Louis, very possibly, might have still been under the veil that -- in the books -- his mind gets clouded over by Armand after they first leave Paris.

So there are many reasons Louis may not have fully noticed everything that was happening between Armand and Daniel during however long Daniel was with them. (And, IMO, it is very much looking like it was at least 12 years, which was the length of the whole Devil's Minion saga -- before Daniel was finally turned -- in the book QotD).

Louis knows some things I feel sure of. Like, Louis knows Armand and Daniel had sex because . . . yeah. Armand and Louis weren't just pulling in young human men to be a third with them to play cards or something. 😏 But I'm not sure that Louis knows about the full emotional depth (and heartbreak) of everything that went down between Armand and Daniel.

So yeah, Louis knows about Armand & Daniel -- because he was the one to draw Daniel in to be a third with him and Armand in the first place. But I don't think Louis knows just how deeply and emotionally serious it really got between them. And maybe it's mostly because Armand just kept that part of it from Louis.

As to the Alice = Armand thing and if Louis knows that. . . again I'm not sure. It is one reason I kind of still sort of lean toward the idea that Alice is a real person, but many things about her have been merged with Armand in Daniel's mind. And Louis doesn't actually know which is which.

However . . . Louis could very well know how serious it got between Armand and Daniel, and that Alice isn't real and just really is Armand; and Louis just did what he did -- emotionally going in on Daniel like that -- because Louis really just wanted to hurt Daniel in that way because Daniel had hurt him in the same way just by asking about Lestat like that. Louis does have a very sadistic streak in him, I think that has been very well-established. And it would just be the simplest answer too for it all as well.

[justcallmecj]

Alr, unfortunately I am like, 20 minutes late for this but I'm posting it regardless. I made some art of Zarina, my Touchstarved oc, with the Li and I just barely missed the time to have posted them on her birthday.

Anyway, September 6th is Zarina's bday (and mine) so these are a series of Zarina hanging out with our favorite characters and having fun!

Leander:

This one is actually my favorite. I got adventurous and tried some special lighting since this bg is a nigh time one. And, surprisingly enough, it did work! In this image, I totally imagine Zarina being shell shocked at being princess carried, since no ones done this with her since she was a small child.

Kuras:

I loved this base for Zarina and Kuras, but then realized that there are no bg in the game where this will make reasonable sense, so tbh I have no clue what Zarina is pointing at. Sooo, use your imagination! Also, Kuras has such a complex design (they all do) so I'm happy I was able to simplify it while also getting across the same vibe. (pretty proud of that gold on his chest honestly)

Mhin:

Mhin took a bit of time to do. The angle is new to me and was hard to translate their clothing as such, however, I got it in the end. I tried to add that signature red they have in their eyes, like how I do with the emotes I've been doing, but it just didn't look right for some reason. But this is what I ended up with and I'm fine with it (even if they look a tad bit dead inside)

Vere:

Vere is actually the last one I did, finished about 10 minutes ago actually. I had a lot of fun doing him, but to be fair, I have fun drawing Vere all the time. I wish I had the skill/confidence to do those shear parts to his sleeve but I just didn't. Maybe another time. Vere seems to be quite peaceful and content in this art and I'm glad since that was the look I was going for! Also, why are they at the Seaspring? Their waiting for Ais to come back, of course! (Totally not bc there was no other suitable bgs from the game.)

Ais:

And this was the first one I did for this series. I honestly love this one, just like the Leander one, for a different reason. The concept is so fucking funny. I imagine that, bc Zarina is so physically weak and has no combat experience, she gets in a lot of trouble. And while due to plot reasons I can't discuss yet, she would be fine in the end and come out nearly unharmed, the others still step in when they find out. The idea of Ais picking her up like a wet cat to drag her away from trouble tickles the corner of my brain, y'know? And she looks so dejected!

[thedrdtpokemoncollector]

Rose Ch2 Culprit Theory!!

(Spoilers for Ch2 Ep12! (and literally every episode before that too)

(i know it probably isn’t her, but i wanted to post my theory regardless! Also, this is unfinished, I just wanted to post it before Ep13 comes out- I’m so sorry to anyone who reads through my stupid little rambles-)

(reminder that all of this is silly stuff my brain thought of while i was sleep deprived after ep12 so- none of this is probably relevant-)

I was looking at DRDT culprit theories for Ch2 and randomly though what if it's Rose-? 'Cause after they found the body, Rose was right outside the room, in the hallway- She was the one who found evidence that nobody else would have found, since it was hidden in the trash can, and more than that, it was evidence that specifically framed someone else. She mentions not wanting to see the body, so she's unable to help with the crime scene, unlike in ch1, where she helps by using her photographic memory to draw a picture of the crime scene before it got disturbed.

But WHAT IF the reason she doesn't want to go in is because she doesn't want to end up accidentally revealing herself as the killer- Like- First off the BDA thing, where 3 people who hadn't seen the murder needed to set it off- This isn't actual evidence, really, but i thought i could mention it- uh- Anyways! Another way she might reveal herself as the killer is being too- useful- Like, how Min volunteered to help Teruko investigate in Ch1, but it was actually just to make sure Teruko didn't figure out it was her. So- Rose could've made a fair assumption that Teruko or someone else could be suspicious- And so she used the excuse of not wanting to see the body as a way to get out of it.

The reason she might want to escape is because of her family- Who she put into debt and also got them out of it- So she obviously cares about them, ergo, motive for murder. (maybe she was reminded of this when Teruko told her the secret she got-? idk lol)

Plus, she mentions the grippy tape in the gym, and how she used it to be able to do a pullup- So she could've used it to get a better grip on the spinny thing during the murder. (I know it’s probably just a way for the tape to be introduced before the murder) She could've taken it from the gym whenever, and since she's the one who mentioned it was missing- Could be to get rid of suspicion. although she wasn't there when the tape disappeared from the gym, you can't rule out that she might have an accomplice- Or she could be the accomplice, either or-

Also, I've seen a lot of culprit Eden with accomplice Levi, but what about culprit *Rose* with accomplice Levi- Just a thought I had.

Rose culprit with Levi accomplice theorists wya

Another thing is the fact that she hides her face when talking to Teruko in the hallway after Arei's body is found- which means we can't see her expression. And since her voice is usually monotone, even when talking about stuff she cares for, we can't get any clues about her emotions from that either-

She's also the first one to mention that the evidence from the murder is probably hidden on the second floor, since it would be difficult to make elevator trips without people noticing it- This isn't *too* suspicious, but also, it could be. Because sometimes Danganronpa is so fucking sneaky and hides stuff in obvious places-

None of this is really concrete evidence it's her, even though she *does* try and push everyone back to assuming the murder happened at night, rather than in the morning like Teruko proved it did, during episode 12- And in Ch2 in general, Rose has been- kind of derailing the trial a bit. Not too noticeably, but a few things-

1- She *did* agree with Ace somewhat when he brought up Nico being the killer. Which is understandable, considering that they *did* lie and steal from her- But it could also be evidence of her trying to blame someone else for it without being overly suspicious.

2- She spends some time in Ch2 Ep9 trying to convince people that Arei committed suicide and not murder. Maybe a normal assumption, but given that they're in a murder trial, talking about a murder, and Veronika had already mentioned that Arei wouldn't have been able to snap her neck by jumping from the swingset- Plus the rule that if it *was* suicide, MonoTV wouldn't hold a trial. And since Rose has a photographic memory, she should've remembered that, right? She even mentions this- in the trial- She then brings up the possibility of assisted suicide, instead of continuing with the murder assumption like everybody else- Rose could've helped Arei kill herself, but this isn't a theory about that, it's about her being a murderer so-

Also, she hasn't fallen asleep once in T2 yet. Which is- strange considering she did in T1. And plus the fact that she possibly uses sleeping as a form of escapism. Maybe because she needs to contribute more to this trial for it to work, but it's still suspicious- I might just be reading too much into it idk- Maybe the reason she isn't sleeping this trial because she doesn't have anything to specifically try and escape right now. Unlike T1, Rose supposedly didn't see Arei's body, so she wouldn't be trying to forget it by sleeping through the trial.. But that's also not really evidence, mostly just guesses-

(Another thing- When the fish in the playground are brought up, she seems like she's going to say something- But then J interrupts and Rose just stops talking. Probably doesn't mean anything but I'm putting every Rose trial scene in here- )

She also doesn't have a reaction to the note being brought up, but she joins in after Teruko asks to see the note for the second time. She mentions how she and Whit figured Teruko wouldn't mind as much if Eden was the one who had the note- probably so Teruko could easily check if Eden was lying.

Rose doesn't talk for a while after that, but almost at the end of episode 10 she mentions that she doesn't have an alibi. Of course, this doesn't mean much, considering what happened in episode 12 where they find out that they got the whole time of the murder wrong- Which leaves almost nobody with an alibi. But I had to mention it so-

After that, she doesn't speak up again until Ace is mentioned as a suspect, and then she only mentions that Ace being on the second floor is suspicious. Which, again, normal assumption, but just let me have this- And after that, she brings up David's 'secret' of family depression not being on the board- Which starts David's whole Nagito arc that apparently lasted 2 hours-

Okay! Now on to episodes 11 + 12! Rose doesn't show up at the beginning part but she does show up when the others are talking about David's real secret. She mentions that no actual good came out of David pushing them to share their secrets- And then after that her only line immediately after David's reveal was just her talking about her memory again- And then after David and Hu's whole.. conversation, Rose mentions how David is 'Definitely the killer.' Which is, well, what everybody else assumed, too- I just think it's interesting how Rose only shows up in this trial when somebody else is being blamed.

After David's whole 'I killed Arei, blah blah blah' moment, Rose speaks up and says they should just vote now. Levi agrees, and he actually almost tells MonoTV to start the voting time. She's really pushing for just whoever seems the most suspicious at the moment- I mean, plenty of characters have done it, but it's still really interesting to me. Mostly because if Teruko hadn't stopped them, everyone would literally be dead. David's plan would've worked-

Okay! Now Ep12-

Rose doesn’t show up for a lot of it- again- But her first appearance in this ep was when Teruko realised her mistake. All she does is say that it was kind of a big mistake and that’s it. Nothing else about it from Rose. She doesn’t speak up during Arturo’s rant either. Rose is shown when Charles asks if anyone has any counterpoints against Arei being killed at 7:30AM, but she doesn’t say anything.

And then they go back to alibis, and like before, Rose still doesn’t have one. She never has one, because she’s always asleep- But that’s not evidence, really, because nobody (besides 3 people) even have an alibi for this-

She doesn’t show up during David’s monologue either, but then nobody really shows up during that besides J, David, Hu, and Teruko, so-

She comments on how scary Hu is after she interrupts David, but Rose still hasn’t contributed much in this ep- Although it was more focused on David and Xander, so that makes sense. When they talk about alibis again, Rose still doesn’t have one. Which isn’t surprising. After that, but before Levi derails the trial, Rose speaks up and mentions not having any clues and not knowing where to go from here-

But that’s all for this theory so far! uh.. I’ll probably finish it at some point- but i wanted to get it out before ep13 so- I’m so sorry to anyone who reads through this absolute rambling bullshit-

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 1

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

A hiss of a rock, thrown. Nikandros came up off his knees, drawing his sword. Damen flung out a hand in a motion for halt, stopping Nikandros instantly, his sword showing a half-foot of Akielon steel.

nik. it's a rock. chill the fuck out.

Damianos, prince-killer. His mind, used to battlefield decisions, took in the sweep of the courtyard, and made the commander’s choice: to minimise losses, to limit bloodshed and chaos, and to secure Ravenel. The Veretian guards were beyond his orders, and the Veretian people . . . if these bitter, furious emotions could be soothed among the Veretian people, he was not the one to soothe them. There was only one way to stop what was about to happen, and that was to contain it; to lock it down, to secure this place once and for all. Damen said to Nikandros, ‘Take the fort.’

i like how the book starts immediately with a very clear example of how the status quo has irreversibly changed. damen has no choice but to act as akielion (akielon? whatever) prince/commander, because that’s how everyone sees him now. even if he hasn’t changed at all from how he’d been five minutes ago

Guymar purposefully spat, and for his trouble was backhanded hard across the face with a mailed fist by the Akielon soldier. Damen let it happen, aware of what would have happened if a man had spat on the ground in front of his father.

i think what i said at the end of book 2 holds true here - damen spent prince’s gambit in the romance genre with interruptions from the war/politics genres, but with laurent’s (presumed accidental) outing of him as prince he’s now forced to live in the same world that laurent’s been in for the past two books. like “yep gotta let my former friend and ally get slapped because politics. man if only laurent had known that i was the prince, we could have avoided this :/“

‘We don’t stand together,’ said Guymar. ‘You betrayed our Prince.’ And then, as though he almost couldn’t bear to say it, ‘You had him—’

in all senses of the phrase, laurent very much had damen

Damen said, ‘I made him a promise.’ ‘And when he learns who you are?’ said Jord. ‘When he learns that he is facing Damianos on the field?’ ‘Then he and I meet each other for the first time,’ said Damen. ‘That was also a promise.’

damen reclaiming his princely authority while being so profoundly wrong… embarrassing

He had a sense of holding on, as though if he just held the fort, held these men together long enough to reach Charcy, then what followed— He couldn’t think about what followed, all he could do was keep to his promise.

he is so devoted to laurent that he doesn’t even stop to think that he’s been screwed over. me too damen, as a first-time reader. and even now, on a second read, i'm not sure how much i trust laurent. i've forgotten the intricacies of his plan and i didn't do a close-reading the first time around, so there are certain things i just can't say for sure at this point.

anyway, i actually think d&l have a ton in common in terms of how they express and demonstrate devotion. they both have bleeding hearts, it’s just that laurent’s has had a much longer time to harden. the way he assesses and handles situations is with a detachment he believes is necessary, so he doesn’t lose control, while damen throws himself wholeheartedly into everything he cares about. they have the same fierceness and passion, and while working together they help to balance out their approaches while applying that passion. starting the book out like this, with damen's devotion on full display and laurent's being majorly questioned, is very smart. because they both need to evolve from this point, in order to be good kings and good partners to each other.

like honestly, they both just need to sit the fuck down and tell the truth and accept that they both care about each other and they don’t have to be avoidant freaks about it. not that either of them (mostly laurent, but also damen in a different way) actually wants to do that. and that’s what the first like 1/3 of the book is about, as i recall: their petty divorce drama until they both give in and decide to figure out their shit.

The ghost of his father seemed to prickle over his skin. It was his father’s title, but his father no longer sat on the throne at Ios. Looking at the bowed head of his friend, Damen realised it for the first time. He was no longer the young prince who had roamed the palace halls with Nikandros after a day spent wrestling together on the sawdust. There was no Prince Damianos. The self that he had been striving to return to was gone.

“with real power comes real responsibility, and i don’t want any of that shit” - dennis reynolds, it’s always sunny in philadelphia

Damen took in Nikandros’s familiar, classically Akielon features, his dark hair and brows, his olive face and straight Akielon nose. As children, they had run barefoot together through the palace. When he’d imagined a return to Akielos, he’d imagined greeting Nikandros, embracing him, heedless of the armour, like digging in his fingers and feeling in his fist the earth of his home.

so they've definitely fucked right

Damen thought of the soldiers bursting into his rooms, of being lashed down in the slave baths, of the dark, muffled journey by ship to Vere. He thought of being confined, his face painted, his body drugged and displayed. He thought of opening his eyes in the Veretian palace, and what had happened to him there. ‘You were right about Kastor,’ Damen said. It was all he said.

nice vs. good theme breakthrough!

He heard of his own body, wrapped and taken in the processional through the acropolis, then interred beside his father.

okay so which dead palace employee/slave got to posthumously cosplay as damen’s corpse

He heard Kastor’s claim that he had been killed by his own guard.

copying the regent's homework

To the Kyros of Delpha, Nikandros, from Laurent, Prince of Vere.

"hey girl,"

The letter was old. The writing was old. Laurent must have sent the letter from Arles.

see my previous breakdown from book 2 chapter 21 about how laurent literally failsafed losing the only living person who loves him with this gambit

It made tactical sense, in a horrifying way, for Laurent to have made an alliance with Nikandros. Laurent had always been capable of a kind of ruthless pragmatism. He was able to put emotion aside and do what he had to do to win, with a perfect and nauseating ability to ignore all human feeling.

i mean i think there was feeling there. making the alliance also was a way for laurent to dispose of damen, returning him to his people so the regent couldn’t use him to torture laurent. because at that point i’m not sure if laurent wanted damen dead, but he definitely wanted him gone. and he’d assumed that damen would want that too

In return for aid from Nikandros, the letter said, Laurent would offer proof that Kastor had colluded with the Regent to kill King Theomedes of Akielos.

okay yeah THAT’S GOOD. and it explains how laurent gets himself in his situation in the next chapter, he’s following up on the promise by trying to get the info from govart/guion

The straightforward ease of it left him without words. He had forgotten what home felt like. He had forgotten trust, loyalty, kinship. Friends.

i’m glad nikandros is a real one. but damen please don’t regress so much that you forget straightforwardness and ease =/= truth and loyalty. oh fuck he can’t hear me

‘Your friend [Nikandros, talking about himself] is a fool and courts treason for a keepsake.’

yeah it makes sense that these two are besties

To gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment. That is the fate of all princes destined for the throne.

this or a kingdom. guess he’ll kingdom

‘Kastor made me a slave. Laurent freed me. He gave me command of his fort and his troops, an act of trust for an Akielon he had no reason to elevate. He doesn’t know who I am.’

oh honey

‘The Prince of Vere freed you,’ said Nikandros. ‘You have been his slave?’ His voice thickened with the words. ‘You have served the Prince of Vere as a slave?’

this isn’t an hr complaint quite yet but it is a “nikandros takes out his phone and bitches on his private twitter moment” moment. which i think should be a tally as well. nikandros private twitter venting moment #1

He knew what they saw—a hundred images of slaves, submitting, bending at the hip, parting their thighs, the casual ease with which these men would have taken slaves in their own households.

back in book 1, when assessing the state of erasmus in torveld’s possession, i recall that damen assumes that veretians think that “there is no honour in submission.” implying that to damen in book 1, and akielons in general, there IS honor in a slave’s submission. but here, when their prince—a person they respect—is revealed to have been made a slave, they definitely don’t perceive it as an honor. so which one is it? whatever submission damen shows/showed laurent is voluntary and honorable by his own moral code. he hasn’t been groomed or brainwashed into submitting his own free will. get on his level or keep your judgment to yourselves, hypocrites

‘Does it shock you? I was a personal gift to the Prince of Vere.’ He had bared his whole forearm. Nikandros turned to Makedon, his voice harsh. ‘You will not speak of this. You will never speak of this outside this room—’ Damen said, ‘No. It can’t be hidden.’ He said it to Makedon.

i think damen can at least subconsciously see the hypocrisy here. and he’s indignant about it >:)

‘You were the Prince’s slave?’ Revulsion was stamped on Makedon’s face, whitening it. ‘Yes.’

'and tbh i’d drop the past tense i had the blacksmith keep this thing on me'

‘You—’ Makedon’s words echoed the unspoken question in Nikandros’s eyes that no man would ever say aloud to his King. Damen’s flush changed in quality. ‘You dare ask that.’ Makedon said, thickly, ‘You are our King. This is an insult to Akielos that cannot be borne.’

and now damen’s piiiiiisssssssed. i think partially because he knows it was the best night of his life and doesn’t want to be shamed for it, lol

‘You will bear it,’ said Damen, holding Makedon’s gaze, ‘as I have borne it. Or do you think yourself above your King?’ Slave, said the resistance in Makedon’s eyes. Makedon certainly had slaves in his own household, and made use of them. What he imagined between Prince and slave stripped it of all the subtleties of surrender. Having been done to his King, it had in some sense been done to him, and his pride revolted at it.

okay yeah damen’s totally ending the institution of slavery once he's king and the gradual development of changing his mind has been both demonstrated effectively and completely earned throughout the past two books. i think this is why some of the cruelest things in book 1 happen to damen in the first place—they had very little to do with the development of his relationship with laurent, and everything to do with this personal arc for damen’s character. moments like this are the payoff to all of that subtle and consistent work. damen’s wake-up call of being treated like a slave and realizing it’s not what he thought, now transferring to his fellow slave-owners like a moral salve (not a typo for slave. like medicine).

The plan he had developed with Laurent was simple,

ARE YOU SURE

Damen’s men were the bait.

damen sees those red flags and just keeps pushing forward

It struck its front hoof on the cobbles, as though seeking to overturn a stone, arching its neck, perhaps sensing, in the manner of all great beasts, that they were on the cusp of war.

do you think damen and laurent’s horses miss each other

But Jord and Huet. Lazar. Scanning their faces, Damen saw who they were. These were the men of the Prince’s Guard, with whom Damen had travelled for months. And there was only one reason why they had been released from confinement. Damen held up a hand, and Jord was allowed through, so that for a moment their horses circled each other. ‘We’ve come to ride with you,’ said Jord. Damen looked at the small clump of blue now gathered before the rows of red in the courtyard. There weren’t many of them, only twenty, and he saw at once that it was Jord who had convinced them, so that they were here, mounted and ready. ‘Then we ride,’ said Damen. ‘For Akielos, and for Vere.’

<3

The uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt, fringed by trees and dangerous slopes.

“the uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt” great line

Damen would never bring men into this kind of disadvantage without a counter plan.

SSFGHYSUDGFYSUDF

If he just did that, just kept to his promise, then after—

now damen’s the one being controlled by his emotions and desperation. oops!

‘If we do that, and your Veretian doesn’t arrive, we’ll all be killed.’ ‘He’ll be here,’ said Damen.

cringe

Laurent had never planned to come. That was what the scout was screaming, right before an arrow took him in the back. ‘This is your Veretian Prince exposed for what he is,’ said Makedon.

so i know that having akielos show up was laurent’s plan, but i forget if laurent had EVER intended to show up at charcy, or if the plan was always to screw damen over. like laurent tells damen that was the plan, after the fact, or at least doesn’t apologize. because he's a petty bitch and mad at damen for lying and doesn't want to talk about the fact that he got tortured. but i still think that laurent could have intended to be there, just with the twist of damen being exposed, if he hadn’t been held up and injured. after all, the akielos allyship plan has been a thing since vere, but the charcy plan was in response to something laurent 100% did not see coming. laurent couldn't have ended the snowball effect of his own gambit by the time he realized he liked and trusted damen, but he could only have planned charcy after they bonded for almost an entire book. they're two different plans, by two slightly different laurents. not that damen can really see that right now.

i don’t know, i always tend to give laurent more grace than he probably deserves. i WANT him to do better than he sometimes does, because he is a character i'm rooting for, and i know that he cares about being honorable in his own messy imperfect way. (me 🤝 damen).

but even if we're just looking at it without any kind of emotional attachment, it simply isn't characteristic of laurent to leave so many of his own people to die, if he can avoid it. so it would make sense for him to at least try to keep his promise of showing up. but then again, when he’s overwhelmed by emotions he does make uncharacteristically stupid choices. and he is pissed at damen, kind of, although i do think he feels much more endeared to him now than he’d been when he sent nikandros the letter from arles. so he must have meant to be there. but then AGAIN, maybe laurent still somehow assumes that damen was just using him as a fuck, especially since damen didn’t tell the truth even when they started having sex. because laurent is an idiot about feelings, and he doesn’t want to see that damen cares, so he convinces himself that damen deserves to be abandoned on the battlefield.

i don't knowwwwww, my heart says one thing and my literary analysis brain tentatively agrees (laurent meant to be there but couldn't make it), but i hate getting things wrong and laurent is a slippery bitch. and again, this is on a SECOND READ. i just don't remember, for sure, if laurent meant to be at charcy. i don't know if it's even ever said, or just meant to be read between the lines. this may seem negligent or shallow, but listen, the first time i read this book was a binge-read. i read it in a night, right after reading a good chunk of prince's gambit in the afternoon. i was paying a lot less attention to the war/plan stuff and just focusing on the dysfunctional gay people. what i didn't realize, in my haste, is that the war/plan stuff adds an entire new dimension to the gay people's dysfunction. which is why i firmly believe that this is a series that needs to be read twice, at least. these are not romance books, they're a fucking psychological experience. they're like an escape room for your brain that just happens to have horny gay people inside.

Damen had no time to think before the situation was on him.

laurent in book 2: “i can’t think”

There was a dark logic to it. Have your slave convince the Akielons to fight. Let your enemies do your fighting for you, the casualties taken by the people you despise, the Regent defeated or weakened, and the armies of Nikandros wiped out.

and if it was laurent of book 1 or early book 2, that would have made perfect sense. but he made the charcy plan at the end of book 2 come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. it can't be as simple as "laurent fully meant to screw you over," even if he didn't manage to show up as a result of his own plans that nobody else knew about. laurent took two steps forward at the end of book 2, trusting damen enough to emotionally and physically be intimate with him AND making this charcy plan with him. i think it makes sense for him to have taken one step back, in not actually telling damen the full truth about the alliance or laurent's own sidequest that ends up getting him captured and injured, but i just don't think he took TWO entire steps back, by putting damen and his men in a deadly situation with zero intention to help. that's too simple for him, both in an in-universe sense and in a "this is how good storytelling (which pacat can at this point be reasonably trusted to do) works" sense. it has to be something in between, even if damen and laurent assume/claim otherwise.

Damen found himself alongside Jord. ‘If you want to live, ride east.’ White-faced, Jord took one look at his expression and said, ‘He’s not coming.’

jord stays losing

[lurkingshan]

Breaking Down the I Feel You Linger in the Air Finale

Okay pals, I got some sleep and I'm ready to dig into this finale and all its beautiful messiness. I love this show and I'm frankly a little frustrated that we got such an incomplete resolution to the (hopefully) first season when there was ample time to do it right. As ever, pacing and time and information management continue to be major weaknesses for Tee Bundit. As I said last week, the writing for this show has been undeniably messy but it's still holding together on the strength of the production and the performances and the success of some of its big themes and character arcs; that take held firm through the finale and some of the baffling choices made about where to spend our time in this final installment. So, let's dig into it!

The Long Goodbye

I'll say upfront that this is my biggest beef with the pacing of the finale. We spent all of last week on a long and painful goodbye for Yai and Jom, perfectly executed, but for some reason we did another 45 minutes of it this week, not so perfectly executed. While I loved the covering of the mirrors, the saddest sex scene ever (complete with sex moans running as the audio over a memory montage how dare you show!), and the pain of Yai realizing he drew the final picture and watching Jom disappear, we didn't need to retread them saying goodbye to each other over and over again for two entire hours of story time, and we didn't need a long, sappy, on the nose speech from Jom saying things we already knew. As I told @neuroticbookworm, this might be my aro showing but I found the series of repetitive emotional goodbye conversations and memory montages exhausting and not in a good way. If I were the script doctor, I would have kept the mirrors, sad sex, and Yai drawing as the start of the episode and cut the rest, moving much more quickly into the next phase of the story.

Back to the Future

Jom returning to his present day life, trying to cope with his anguish and loneliness and adjust back into things, and further investigating the time travel mystery to figure out a way to reconnect with Yai should have been the main narrative of this episode. Instead, we got a truncated version of it that didn't have time to breath because we'd used up so much time on the above mentioned retread. For my money, Jom's devastation upon finding Yai's letter to him was the most emotionally resonant moment of the finale and the first part of the episode where I almost cried. But we had barely sunk into that feeling before it was abruptly cut short because we were out of time and Tee needed to wrap this baby up.

Eyebrow Scar Yai

Here’s where I get actually kind of peeved, because this final (pre-credits) scene was so poorly set up and executed that to even call it a resolution is a stretch. A modern version of Yai walks into the room, asks Jom why he's crying, tells him he's been waiting for him, kisses him, and then the credits roll!

Now I've been in the tags so I know this caused confusion for anyone who has not read the novel (me too, fam!). And that's because the show had not bothered to establish:

That Yai does in fact have a modern doppelgänger

Who the heck that doppelgänger is and how he’s connected to 1928 Yai

How that doppelgänger would be able to remember Jom when no other doppelgängers in the story can remember their past lives

Based on what we know, could we piece together a reasonable theory about who this man is, how he got there, and the final pieces of the mythology that make sense of it? Sure. In fact, bookworm and I pretty much guessed exactly what the explanation for this was after watching the show, and many of the elements at play here were theorized in conversations we had last week. Book readers like @tipsyjaehyun have now confirmed the full explanation for anyone who cares to go read it.

But the show did not tell us any of this information. If you have to read the novel or have novel readers spoil you on aspects of the story that the show didn't bother to cover in order to understand the ending of the story, the execution has failed. And given the pacing notes above, there is really no reason we couldn't have gotten a better set up for this ending with Eyebrow Scar Yai (yes I know his name but no I'm not using it because the show didn't bother telling me; I am petty like that). Jom could have found this descendant during his time of processing and the ending could have hinged on us realizing this modern Yai is a reincarnation who has his past life memories intact; had we gone into a final kiss between them feeling grounded in all of that knowledge, it would have landed so much better.

Hello Commander

And now on to the post-credits scene, where Tee puts a plea into the universe to give him a second season so he can play around in another time period and explore what is evidently the origin of this soul tie between Jom and Yai. I chose to read this episode tag as separate from the actual season 1 narrative, and I think that was the intention given its placement. If they secure funding for a second season, this tag scene becomes the beginning of that next story, with Eyebrow Scar Yai's kiss sending Jom into another time travel adventure. If they don't we can just ignore it and pretend the pre-credits scene was the end (which is why I'm not happy it was so poorly done). I, for one, would love to see a second season to explore another time period and give Tee a chance to clean up some of this mess he has made of the mythology and season 1 resolution. Shouts to @clairedaring for reporting back from the live showing of the finale on what the possibilities are looking like there. Fingers crossed we get a continuation of this story some day!

Tagging in @waitmyturtles and @twig-tea who also have linked posts above. And shouts to @blmpff @cankersoregirl @pharawee @wanderlust-in-my-soul @italianpersonwithashippersheart @bengiyo @dragonsareawesome123 @wen-kexing-apologist @junghaesin @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @chickenstrangers @sunshinechay @btwinlines for posting about this show every week and making it such a fun watch despite having a small audience on here. It was a pleasure watching this with you all!

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

words : 2.7k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

Every year since we were little kids we would celebrate mine and Belly's birthday. We were born on the same day, but a year apart. And it seemed to make us closer. Susannah would decorate the house and Laurel would make us pancakes every year and Conrad would draw a sun with syrup all over my pancakes. It was like a holiday for us.

"Happy birthday, sweetie!" My mom said over the phone as I was calling her.

"Thank you." I said, smiling.

"Okay, I won't keep you away for long, I know you're waiting for your pancakes." She laughed through the phone.

"Bye, love you!"

"Love you too."

I finished getting ready, putting on all of the makeup and jewelry I needed.

My outfit was normal, just wearing a teal tank top and a green cargo mini skirt.

As soon as I came out of the room Belly did too.

"You're looking hot." I said to her as we made our way down the stairs. She was wearing a floral patterned birthday dress.

"Morning!" We shouted in sync as we came into the kitchen.

Steven and Laurel were making pancakes, Jeremiah and Susannah were decorating, and Conrad looked like he didn't want to be there.

There were various smiles with "hey" and "Happy birthday!"

Susannah came to us first, hugging us, "There are the birthday twins!" She exclaimed.

Jeremiah hugged Belly as Steven hugged me, "Happy birthday." They both said to us before swapping.

"Belly Button's getting old finally!" I exclaimed as I gave her sixteen punches on the arm.

She was quick to return, hitting me even harder seventeen times as I screamed around the kitchen.

Laurel raised an eyebrow at us before giving us a group hug, "Happy birthday, beautiful girls."

"Did you call your mom?" Susannah asked as she plated some fruit.

"Yes, she was the first person I talked to."

"Your Minnie and Mickey Mouse pancakes are ready." Laurel smiled.

Belly looked at her mom for a moment, "I'm actually not that hungry..."

I looked at Laurel, "I'll take a pancake or two."

"Okay, how about presents?" Susannah asked.

"You're going to love mine." Jeremiah said, yet I don't know who he was talking to.

Conrad didn't say anything, eating his cereal in peace. He ignored me, but did wave hello to Belly.

Belly opened her present from her mom first. It was a beautiful book.

"It's a first edition. I got it from a rare book dealer." Laurel smiled.

We all noticed how Belly didn't have much emotion with the book, "Turn to the bookmarked page."

"That's the poem Susannah would repeat to us." I said, reading the page.

I grabbed the present that she had given me. I unwrapped it to reveal the most gorgeous cover I've ever seen on a book. It was Little Women.

"Oh, wow." I said, looking through the pages.

"Your mom said it reminded you of home."

I looked up to Laurel, "Thank you so much."

"Girls, open mine now!" Susannah squealed as she handed us our gifts.

Belly revealed a black velvet box, while I had a white one.

She opened hers, and a pearl bracelet was inside.

"Oh, wow." Belly exclaimed.

"These were pearls that my mom gave me for my sweet 16. Now Y/N, open yours."

I opened the box and there was a gorgeous pearl necklace.

"Those were also from my mom. She gave them to me when I was a debutante." She smiled as she admired Belly and I.

"Oh Y/N, I have another gift for you." Susannah said.

I looked at her, puzzled on why I would have two?

She handed me another box, this time it was a velvet red. I opened it and there was a golden chain with a sun in the middle. I immediately recognized it as a matching necklace, needing a moon on the other side.

"Isn't there supposed to be a moon as well?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, maybe someone else has it." Susannah shrugged. "I just thought it reminded me of you."

Jeremiah jumped up, "Ooh! I'm next."

He handed us his somewhat neatly wrapped gift.

Belly was given a charm in the shape of a key.

"It's for good luck. So you can pass your drivers test." Jeremiah smiled.

I opened mine revealing a golden bracelet with a heart charm.

"Thank you so much, Jere." I smiled.

"Think fast Y/N!" Steven said as he threw a present at me. He also threw one at Belly. "Open them at the same time!" He urgred.

We both ripped through the package, opening and unfolding a Princeton crewneck.

"Oh my god you actually got in!" I exclaimed as I ran to hug him.

"No, not yet." He smiled.

Laurel looked at Steven, "I didn't know you were still considering Princeton?"

"Well I'll probably get scholarships and Dad said I could get some financial aid." Steven explained.

The room got silent and tension was high.

"Uh Conrad, do you have a present for Belly and Y/N?" Susannah asked.

He passed Belly a black velvet bag. She opened it, taking out a silver infinity necklace.

His attention then turned to me, "Sorry, I forgot."

"Oh yeah, don't worry, it's cool. I wasn't expecting much anyway." I smiled, trying to actually hide how I felt.

It did hurt. He remembered Belly's birthday, yet he couldn't even remember mine. Which was the same day.

There was a lot of tension in in the room as everyone looked at each other.

"Uhm, so I have to go. I promised Cleveland that I'd show him some knots today."

I watched as he got up from his seat and left. I didn't want it to affect me, but it really did.

"Happy birthday Y/N, and Belly." He said.

"Why don't we go practice driving?" I asked Belly, trying to take my mind off of things. "So you can drive us to get Taylor as well."

She squealed excitedly, "Yes!"

I got up from my seat, heading over to go out the front.

"Hey Y/N?" Susannah called out.

I turned to her, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Of course I am." I smiled reassuringly.

I sat in the passenger seat while Jeremiah sat in the back.

She made a sharp right and we all went flying.

"Whoops." She laughed.

"Dear god, Bells." I said as I held onto anything I could grab on to.

The bus pulled up as we stood there, waiting for Taylor to come out.

"You excited, Bells?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, but I could tell there was a part of her that wasn't excited.

"Twenty-bucks she's gonna call Jere, Jeremy." I said.

The girl emerged from the bus holding a handful of balloons and a bag.

"Oh, my god!" Taylor exclaimed as her and Belly ran to each other.

"Taylor!" I said as I ran to hug her.

"Here, let me take that for you." Jeremiah said as he took her bags.

Taylor smiled looking up at Jeremiah, "Thank you, Jeremy."

I laughed at Jeremiah as he just stood there smiling.

"So, should we head home?" Jeremiah suggested.

"Ooh, actually, let's make a stop first." Taylor said, making eye contact with Belly and I.

We sat under an umbrella as Jeremiah placed down a banana split with three spoons for us.

Taylor dug in first, "I would literally eat this every day if I could."

She also pulled out a gift for Belly. And another for me.

"Oh wow, these are cute." I said as I opened my present, revealing a blue bikini.

"I know right, it's hot." She said.

Belly opened hers and it was a white bikini.

"Y/N?" Taylor called out as we hung out in the pool.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Where's Conrad?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know." I shrugged, swimming over to Jeremiah and Steven.

After a couple of minutes in out own little groups, Taylor suggested to play chicken, which we all agreed to.

"Dibs on Jeremy." Taylor smiled as she made her way to Jeremiah

"Oh, great, that means I'm stuck with Steven." Belly said sadly.

"Wait, what about Y/N?" Jeremiah asked.

Belly looked at me, "Oh, do you want to go on Steven?"

"No it's fine, you guys can play." I said.

There was a few complaints from Belly and Steven about being each others partners, so Taylor and Belly switched.

"Okay, three, two, one, go!" I yelled as they began fighting in the water.

The fight lasted less than a minute with Taylor and Steven falling into the water.

"Woo!" Jeremiah and Belly exclaimed in excitement. I gave them both a high five.

On the other hand, Steven and Taylor were bickering about who's fault it was that they lost.

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice said.

I turned my head around and Nicole was walking through with Conrad.

"Hey, Nicole!" I said.

"Hi. Happy Birthday you two." She said. "Are you guys playing.. chicken?"

"Yeah, it was Taylor's idea." Belly said.

"Hey, I'm Taylor." Taylor said from behind Belly.

Belly smiled, "She's my best friend from home."

"Yeah, I'm just visiting for the weekend." Taylor added.

"Oh, that's cute." Nicole said.

"Do you guys wanna play a real game?" I asked.

Everyone in the pool said yes.

Jeremiah had helped me set up the net and then the games began. I was on the girls side and Nicole and Conrad sat on the edge of the pool, dipping their feet in the water.

The boys groaned 'No!' as us girls cheered for our point.

We did a couple more rounds, as we all laughed a lot. This was definitely one of my favorite summers. Being with everyone, like nothing ever happened.

"You're not ready." Taylor smirked to Steven.

"You're on."

Taylor hit the ball, and it swerved, hitting Nicole in the head.

"Ow." Nicole said.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Steven said through in-between awkward laughs.

"Taylor." Belly said sternly before turning back to Nicole, "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. You guys keeping playing." Nicole said to us.

"Feel better Nicole!" I said as she began walking back into the house with Conrad.

Conrad stopped in his tracks, just looking down at me.

"Have fun playing." He said.

Dinner was just as I'd imagined. It was gorgeous and vibrant.

Susannah had made the girls all flower crowns as well, for Midsommar.

I sat in between Jeremiah and Conrad again, but we added another chair next to Belly, because Cam Cameron was here!

Throughout the dinner, Jeremiah kept question Cameron, making fun of him almost.

Somehow Jeremiah got on the talk about kissing dead animals and then kissing Cameron, which made me kick him hard in the shin.

"Ow." He exclaimed.

"Oh shut up."

"I don't mind at all, in fact-" Cameron said as he kissed Belly on the lips.

I'm not even joking. All of our mouths fell open.

From beside me, Steven and Jeremiah both pretended to retch.

"If you guys don't shut up." I said loudly over their obnoxious noises.

It got into our embarrassing moments throughout our childhood at the Fishers as well, but Conrad stayed silent the whole time.

"Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should go out to Nicole's party?" I asked

"Yes!" Taylor and Belly exclaimed at the same time.

Conrad's eyes met mine for a second before dropping. He didn't seem happy with what I said.

I laid on Belly's bed, staring up at the cieling.

"I think Conrad still hates me." I stated.

Taylor and Belly turned to look at me.

"Why would you say that?" Belly asked.

'I don't know. When I brought up Nicole's' party, he just seemed to go quieter than normal.

Taylor laughed a little, "It's fine Y/N. He's just a dumb boy either way."

I sighed knowing she was right.

"Look at us," Taylor said as we looked in the mirror, "We're hot ass bitches."

She was in the hot pink mini dress, Belly was in a knit crochet top with beige pants, and I was in a halter white and blue top with jeans.

As soon as we walked into the party, a man came down the stair banister, wooing.

And then to the right of the house was what I'm guessing was a dining room. Lot's and lot's of cakes and desserts with 17 and 16 candles.

"Y/N, you guys came!" Nicole's voice said as she made her way through people.

I laughed a little, "Hi, Nicole! You look gorgeous." I said, hugging her.

"Me? Look at you. You look like a goddess."

Nicole lead us through the house and they followed behind. Well everyone but Taylor. She had decided to find a drink for herself.

"Guys, look who's here." Nicole said to the girls.

Nicole began lighting the candles.

"Is this for us?" Belly asked.

"Who else would it be for, Belly?" Nicole asked with a smile.

"Thank you, guys." Belly and I both had said.

"Okay, well, girls, make a wish." Nicole motioned towards the two cakes.

The topic with the group got onto Conrad and how he was.

"He's not talking to anyone else. He's usually just to himself." I said

"Okay well new topic." Nicole said, not wanting to talk about Conrad, "Have you asked anyone to the ball"

"Oh, no. I'm waiting for the right person." I said, giving Nicole a smile.

I looked past Gigi who was saying something to Belly about asking Cam to the ball. Anywho, past Gigi was Conrad. He was messing with his hair and he was laughing and smiling.

I couldn't even lie. He was attractive.

He made eye contact with me as he drank a large part of his beer.

I couldn't like him again though. But there was part of me that knew it could happen again. Susannah told me to believe in second chances.

I don't know what happened really. I was just watching the boys play their little ping pong drinking game and then Belly came out all mad.

"Hey, can we leave?" Belly asked Cameron.

"Oh yeah, yeah." Cameron said.

"Y/N, you need a ride home? I don't want to take you away from the party." Belly said.

"It's fine. I'll give her a ride home." Conrad jumped in.

I looked at him questioningly, but he didn't look back.

"See you later, Bells!" I called out to her as she began to leave.

Jeremiah looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Fill in for Cam Cameron please."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him, "Fine, scooch over."

After an hour or so, we all were ready to leave. By now I was drunker then I probably should've been. So drunk that Conrad had to help me to the car and into the car.

He sat in the drivers seat as I just stared at him.

"You're like the moon to my sun." I sighed, touching his hair.

He grabbed onto my hand, putting it back into my lap.

"Y/N, you're drunk." He said to me.

"Noo, you're drunk." I said to him, booping his nose.

I came down stairs the next morning. Jeremiah already in the kitchen, mixing himself up one of his smoothies.

"Hit me." I said to him as I groaned and propped my head on the table with my arm.

He laughed, splitting his smoothie with me.

"You drank a lot last night for such a small girl."

"I shouldn't have." I said, gulping down a large amount of the drink.

Belly came down the stairs soon, grabbing the box of cereal and pouring some in her mouth.

"I'm guessing you and tay-tay haven't made up yet?" I asked.

"No." Belly said with no emotion.

At the party, Steven and Taylor were making out and then Belly had walked in.

"You guys want to do a muffin run?" I asked.

"I'm always up for a muffin run." Jeremiah smiled. Belly also agreed.

"Can you get the keys from Conrad's room? Jeremiah asked.

I nodded, "Yeah sure. Is he home?"

"No, he dropped you off at home and then spent the night at Nicole's" Jeremiah explained.

"Oh um." I stammered, "Do you know where he keeps the keys?"

"Uh, they should be in his desk." Jeremiah said.

I never really was in Conrad's room often. But it didn't look much different than the last time I had seen it. It was obviously boat themed which was cute.

His drawers were messy inside. Nothing was organized and there were like 5 condoms.

There was also a black velvet pouch which I took out. Yes, I'm nosy, but I wanted to know what was inside.

I opened it and saw a moon bracelet.

I put the bracelet charm against my sun charm and it fit perfectly. What the hell was wrong with him?

When we went home, I drove Belly and Taylor to the bus stop.

I sat in the car with Belly as we watched Taylor wait in line for the bus.

"You're not going to say goodbye?" I asked her skeptically.

"I don't want to talk to her." Belly said, not making eye contact with me.

"Come on Belly, she's your best friend. She loves you, especially if she came out here just for your birthday."

Belly sighed, "Fine."

Once she came back in, she seemed mad, but I didn't care.

"I know i'm only a year older than you, but just take my wisdom for once." I joked, "Boys might come and go, but your best friend is once in a lifetime. You're lucky you have someone like Taylor. We never know what the future will hold, so you have to hold tight to that relationship."

Friends come and go. Boys come and go. But best friends stay. They're real. That's what I loved about the Fishers and Conklins. They were my best friends and they always stayed. Every single year.

[hamartia-grander]

Resident Evil (4 remake) x Detroit: Become Human AU

I made these arts MONTHS ago and never shared them. There's more I wanna draw for this crossover au but this is what I've got now. I of course came up with elaborate backstories behind everything.

Some AU lore if you're interested:

-on top of what Ashley's stuff says, she was long in development to become the perfect aging child android - something that's never been done before. She is considered an android bioweapon, as they combined robotics with bioengineering, taking DNA from President Graham (his first name is President actually) and infusing it with advanced technology to create Ashley. She is also the most expensive android, for obvious reasons, and was first commissioned by not-then-president President Graham back in 1995. Sherry was meant to be the first successful model, but her development was expedited and hidden by the Doctors Birkin to be their own daughter. Ashley's production was completed in 2000.

-Leon is an LN-200 android. The LN line was created to be an elite operative model of android, meant to integrate with police Android models. However, the entire LN line was discontinued as soon as Leon was released, due to the simultaneous takeover of CyberUmbrella labs by a mass group of mindless androids that killed on sight, and Leon's almost immediate deviation as a result of witnessing this tech-virus outbreak.

-Leon deviated after witnessing the outbreak on his first day - a malicious software virus was transferred to an Android from a CyberUmbrella lab in Raccoon City; that Android transferred it to others, and it kept going, spreading when androids interfaced. The virus shut down all of the androids' programmed objectives and replaced them with the simple objective: "Kill". Androids infected with this virus can only be cured by a very complex antivirus program that is only accessible from certain CyberUmbrella scientists.

-Leon deviated to escape this virus, and met a CR800 android named Claire, who was looking for her brother, another CR800 android called Chris. The two also met the RE200 android, Sherry, who they had to save from an alternate version of the virus that targeted her advanced software specifically. Claire managed to cure her, while Leon ran into a woman who called herself Ada.

-Ada told Leon she was a human, for her safety, as he was a cop android basically, but she's actually an android - specifically an AW900, illegally developed by Albert Wesker, and the only one of her kind. He named her model after his own initials, and calls her simply "AW900", but Ada took the initials and made it her own name - Ada Wong - out of defiance. She was given more freedoms as an android, as wesker had her do all of his dirty work, but she still wasn't deviant. But then she met Leon, and saw how he was deviant, and was surprised by his emotion and how much she wanted it too. She deviated eventually, but when Leon found out she'd lied about being a human, he was angry with her. Her job was to extract the modified virus that had been given to Sherry, so wesker could make Ada immune. Leon didn't want to let Ada take it, but before he can retrieve it, Ada is shot by Dr. Annette Birkin, who wants to get back at Wesker (you can pick any reason why that is. Maybe it's scientist jealousy. Maybe wesker ratted her out for her work on the RE200. Or maybe wesker stole her husband so she's mad which I think would be super funny. Love you Annette). Ada falls, and Leon thinks she's dead, but she escapes - now fully deviant, scared, and lost. She returns to wesker but pretends she isn't deviant, terrified of what he'd do to her if he found out.

-Dr. Luis Serra Navarro was hired by CyberUmbrella to help develop advanced software for androids. However, he realised eventually that the software he was being made to develop was not for new androids, but was in fact being turned into malware meant to attack androids. He knew CyberUmbrella only wanted to do bad things with this, and he attempted to flee with proof, but he was too late, and the virus was released before he could get the word out. Luis went into hiding, knowing that he wouldn't be pardoned for his work, and returned home to Valdelobos, Spain.

-Luis had hoped to help introduce android technology to his home, but he returned to find it taken over by a cult, which he was quickly swept up into under threat of death. He continued developing android software, this time for Saddler, who called it "La Plaga". La Plaga was Saddler's attempt to combine Android software with human genetics, creating half human half Android armies that he could control and program to his will. This was dangerous, bevause he was adding android tech to real people, reverting them to a robot form - the cult called themselves "Los Iluminados", bevause they believed their work to combine humans and androids was enlightened and would bring them closer to God.

-Luis didn't know the extent of Saddler's plan, but he knew Saddler wanted to use the virus to program all androids for control and chaos, death and destruction, so Luis also developed a failsafe - Code "Amber", an antivirus that would immediately render the Plaga virus dormant and (hopefully) reverse its effects. However, Saddler caught onto this and discovered that while the code amber could undo the plaga, it could also magnify it if modified slightly.

-RE400 Ashley was kidnapped in 2004 by Los Iluminados, as once Saddler learned of the first bioengineered android, he wanted to study her code and see how he could morph it with a human. Ashley was supposed to be unable to deviate, but the trauma of being kidnapped caused her to deviate out of self defence.

-After the events of Raccoon City, a now deviated Leon offered to care for Sherry while Claire continued to look for her brother. However, Leon was discovered, as they'd been tracking Sherry, and the government took her away for testing. They threatened to kill her, unless Leon agreed to be reset and reinstated as a special government agent model. Leon agreed to protect Sherry, he was reset, and lost his deviancy. However, he also lost all memories of Sherry, Claire, and Ada, and anyone else he'd met after deviating.

-years later, when President Graham's android daughter is kidnapped, Leon is sent to save her. They tracked her all the way to Spain, but when she deviated, they lost her location. Luckily, they think they lost her location because the cult removed her tracker, or temporarily deactivated her.

-Leon, a machine again, travels to Spain to rescue Ashley. When he arrives, he runs into Dr. Serra, who recognises Leon's model, though he never actually worked on Leon's model. Luis introduces himself, not expecting Leon to know, but Leon runs a scan and discovers that Luis used to work for CyberUmbrella, and is angry with Luis. But Luis proves to be resourceful and charismatic in just the right ways that has Leon trusting him against his will, and eventually even enjoying Luis's company, though he'd never admit it.

-When Leon reaches Ashley, she is at first abrasive, and scared of him. He realises it's because she's deviated. His programming insists he reports her deviation; but seeing her so scared, her face and blonde hair triggering something familial in his memories that he couldn't place, Leon lies to Hunnigan, his handler, and reports Ashley as still a machine. As a result, Leon is able to deviate again - and all at once, all of his memories come rushing back, and he's overwhelmed with emotion. He realises Ashley reminded Leon of Sherry, and he's more passionate about protecting her and bringing her home safe than before, determined to keep Ashley out of the government's control the way he failed to do for Sherry.

-Ada returns, and Leon remembers her now, so he recognises her. He doesn't know what she's doing in Spain, and she doesn't reveal it - but she does look out for him, and Ashley (and Luis), mostly without Leon's knowledge. Ada is able to do many things even the most highly trained covert operative couldn't do.

-Ashley was infected with the plaga, without her knowing, and then Leon was as well when he got captured by Mendéz. Luis still knows how to undo it, so he promises to help them.

-Ada is retrieving the Amber code for the same reason wesker had to her get the antivirus back in Raccoon City - to make herself and any other models wesker works on immune to outside viruses or tampering. However, wesker also plans to use the plaga and the amber to develop his own version of virus - Ada suspects this, but she isn't really in a position to question or go against wesker. However, after meeting and spending time with Luis, Luis shows faith in her, and she gains the courage to separate from wesker.

-Luis is fascinated by Leon (and Ashley, because she's cool, but mostly Leon). He flirts relentlessly, especially when he figures out Leon deviated. Leon tries to pretend it doesn't effect him, but Luis knows what his LED spinning red and yellow means, especially when Leon's is otherwise a constant blue.

-Krauser was a regulated government model of android - an MK model, specifically MK300. His model is not as advanced as Leon's, with Leon being one of a kind, but Krauser had plaga and amber induced advancements that made him stronger than any other model. Krauser hates Luis, because when Luis developed the Code Amber as a failsafe, he caused Krauser's plaga-advancements to malfunction, permanently damaging his vision in his left eye, and making Krauser's transformations spontaneous and uncontrollable. So, when Krauser finds out that Luis is helping Leon - Krauser's old subordinate - Krauser goes for revenge.

-Krauser wants to kill them both, but Luis shields Leon, getting himself stabbed. Leon fights Krauser, Luis shoots him to scare him off, and Leon rushes to Luis, scared as hell to lose him and also angry because Luis can't be replaced but Leon can. However, Luis had been previously given the plaga (and cured himself) so he was able to use some of it to his advantage and stabilise himself until Leon could get him medical help. So, Luis survives :)

-When Ada finds out that Leon and Ashley are both deviant, she tells Leon she's also deviant, but still refuses to tell him anything else. She's hot and he doesn't need to know.

-Leon and Luis grow closer, and by the time they escape the village with Ashley - now cured, thanks to Luis - Leon isn't ready to say goodbye. Luis says he can't go with them, because the us government will never let him back. Leon also knows if Ashley goes back, she could be reset, or deactivated, and Ashley likewise knows this and doesn't want to return. Leon has grown to trust Hunnigan too, and tells her their predicament. She agrees to cover for them for a while so they can escape. So, Leon, Luis, and Ashley disappear.

-Leon will return later - heavily disguised - to see Claire, and Sherry again.

-Leon and Luis obviously fall in love and stay together. Ashley doesn't live with them, but she visits often, and they have their own little family.

-Ada still watches over them from afar, too scared to get emotionally involved. But her friendship with Luis was close enough that she does eventually contact him, and he encourages her to visit them. Ada and Leon still have a weird tense rivalry that Luis doesn't understand, but they all care about each other.

The end (for now)

[fanstuffrantings]

@ladydoe8, I did see your ask and went to respond but made the post private and it has since disappeared into the void of my blog. I have no idea how to find it and I'm not sure if that's because this is a side blog or not.

That said I still wanted to make a response.

Part of my issue with some fights in the grand magic games is how much they lack the feeling of being random. Obviously we get made aware that the king has the ability to pick and choose what fights he wants to see, but in the case of a battle like Wendy vs Cheria, it didn't feel like the king himself actually chose to make it happen and instead Mashima just decided to pit those two against each other because he didn't want Wendy to fight anyone else.

I think maybe the king telling Arcadios that towards the end of the games he wants Yukino to battle Lucy would work and set the audience up to be hyped for the confrontation, only for it to never happen because both of them are forced out of the games for different circumstances.

I like Kagura vs Yukino I just wish it was written in a way that allowed Yukino to show her strength more than giving us an "I'm just better" kagura fight. Yukino should've had one fight before this that took no effort for her to win and didn't result in her using any of the Zodiac keys so that her loss to Kagura would allow us to understand how strong Kagura is without anyone having to whisper it in our ear.

As for Lucy, she should've fought someone else for sure, but not Yukino. I've said before I don't think Raventail should've competed and I stand by that. Whatever group takes their place should've contained the enemy Lucy fights and wins against. I hate the cheating plotline because it requires every single character in universe to be so insanely stupid for it to work at all. It makes the guards seem incompetent at their jobs and brings into question why Lacrimas even exist in the first place if not to keep an eye on mages in the stands and stop foul play. Not to mention there should be a barrior protecting the audience anyway because of how dangerous magic is. Anti-magic exists, you're telling me no anti-magic shields could've been used?

I still would've wanted Lucy fighting Flare, but in a fight that doesn't take place in the arena. Flare comes to either take out or kidnap Lucy under orders from Ivan, and we get a parallel to Phantomlord where this time Lucy holds her own and comes out on top, or at least manages to escape largely unscathed.

I want Lucy to actually be on top of the world before the Naval battle. I want to see her feeling good about herself and actually winning before Minerva gets thrown in because not only will it make Minerva more effective as an antagonist, it'll be actually horrific to watch what happens. Now first note is I would never draw or show the Naval battle with Lucy in a fanservice way because that takes away from the emotion the audience should get from the scene.

For Minerva, the elements are interesting in canon but the execution is BS. I want Minerva to be incredibly good at sticking just enough within the rules to never get Sabertooth penalized while skirting the edges in a way that infuriates her opponents. Instead of wailing into Lucy, she simply keeps her from leaving the bubble until she passes out. The rule as given by the announcers is that all enemies must either say they forfeit or be knocked unconscious, as long as Minerva doesn't kill her they won't intervene. Aquarius would actually care about Lucy in this version and only be forced back into the spirit world when Lucy's lack of oxygen makes her magic far too unstable to maintain a gate. Minerva doesn't kill her enemies. She knows it's a game so why would she kill anyone. But the horror of the scene is what I'd lean into. I think this set up for Minerva would also make her eventual reappearance in Tartaros a bit more terrifying because if she was willing to essentially torture in opponent before becoming a Demon how much worse will she be afterwards.

I think setting up Minerva in this way with her first battle in the games being something that sticks with both the rival guilds and the audience in such a harrowing way is a good idea. It makes her stand out and really sets the tone for her future involvement in the story.

[kochi999]

I always draw only Arcade porn, but today I really thought about "why I like Arcade" and drew it seriously.

Below is the monstrosity I drew on pixiv. I haven't scrutinized the document after the English translation, so it's probably weird.

　My shit-decker feelings (mainly inferiority complex) for Dr. Arcade have finally calmed down after about 10 months of falling for him, so here's one thing I'd like to summarize (give birth to) why I can't help but have such a fussy heart for this guy. I guess the screen turns red when I put my feelings into it. I know it's not popular to capture long sentences nowadays, but it's the last time I'm drawing, so forgive me, I don't have anywhere else to put it.

　I've tried to put all the elements of why I like this guy so much into this one picture, but the part that people who don't know me won't get from the picture and the part that made me fall for that point in the first place is that this guy is officially gay. The other deciding factor that drove me crazy was the fact that there is an ending where he commits suicide by circumcision for the sake of his own pride.

　This guy, who had been running away from the secret of his origins, who was worried and lost, who couldn't tell anyone about the secret of his life, who couldn't make up his mind in that ephemeral world, who had been moping and sulking until he was 35 years old, makes a decision based on the words of a random courier (the main character) and chooses to live while helping others with his special skills, He can either choose to live for his father's redemption, or he can choose neither and be enslaved until he commits suicide. How can you come up with such a setting? The game is so full of elements that mess with our emotions that I can't help but project myself onto the brain-destroyed (physical) courier and the brain-destroyed (metaphorical) me.

↓I can't help but project myself onto him. 　Why is Arcades set up as gay? It's just a setting that has nothing to do with the story. It is really a mystery. Why did they set him up that way? Is it because he doesn't know his father's face and is a fatherfucker? It's a wise decision. Thanks to you, a lot of nerdy women have been swamped. The fact that a man of such a serious character and nature was naturally homosex active drives me crazy again. There is also the mysterious statement that he had a few boyfriends in the past, but that doesn't play into the main story at all. Are you saying that I couldn't even confide my origins to my boyfriends? I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend who confided in a past man about his origins…and then they finally broke up because they couldn't share their life together, but he never revealed the secret of his origins to anyone…that would be fine. I'm a big fan.

　Please, give me an Arcadian ex-career selection setting. What kind of guy she was dating and at what age, and if possible, her favorite position, etc. No, that's too much to ask. I'll have dinner with that. I'm ready to eat. I'll cook a pot of rice for now. Give me that. Give me a piece of Arcadian life. I don't care if it's too late. Give it to me. Hey. If, at the height of the drama, there are now statements like, "Actually, Nate, the fourth master, was in that movie," then why not have a leak that says, "Actually, that was Arcade's ex-boyfriend," or "Actually, that man at Navarro base is Arcade's father. Give it to me. I'm sure you have some secret settings that you can't reveal to the public anyway. Give it to me. Give it to me in a fanzine. Please. I don't care if it's a fabrication by a fan, please give me a doujinshi of Arcades' ex-boyfriend…someone please draw me a doujinshi…I'll do anything…tumbler prohibits sexually explicit pictures, so if you can, please draw me a sexually explicit picture on pixiv. I don't care if it's a cartoon. I have two new friends on pixiv recently. Thank you I love you and I won't miss you.

[outlandish-dreamer]

hai ^u^ um i was wondering if you had any toddler / baby regressor vanessa headcanons from the fnaf movie ? :00 or anything about her hehe , i'm an introject of her and i've been looking for some stuff :33

I do actually!! She's been on my mind a lot recently, so here's what I have for her :D

(I'm probably going to include some of my other headcanons just because I feel like they fit here as well if that's okay!)

Baby Regressor! Vanessa

She's not quite sure what her age range is, though she does know it's pretty small. Mainly because it's before she can remember all the things that happened with her family, so with being pretty young at that state, it's between 0-3.

Very independent, "I can do it myself !!" I feel like she wouldn't really care about having a caregiver, like it's not something she thinks she needs, but won't say no if it happens.

Because of that, she has trouble letting her guard down around others when she's regressed (mainly Mike). Feeling that vulnerable around someone else reminds her of when she was a kid, so it's hard for her to trust that he won't do anything to her.

Dealing with the trauma of everything is hard on someone that's as small as she is. Her brain doesn't know how to process it all and it takes a toll on her both mentally and emotionally. Sometimes she just cries and doesn't know why, but aside from that, she's not really an explosive or overly emotional kid. Mainly a little bit more sensitive than anything.

Is a little nervous when it comes to him acting like a sort of parental/brother figure towards her. She hasn't experienced that in a long time and ever since she's worried it would turn out just like her relationship with her father. That she'll be rejected, taken advantage of, or forced to "grow up."

Mike, being the ever-patient guy he is, wishes he could get rid of those feelings for her. He'd never hurt Vanessa and despite how much she questions it, he still reassures her that he won't.

Will tag along with him anytime she can. He's pretty much the one person she trusts with this and will take up any chance to be around him. Since she's content to pretty much sit and sleep or watch, he doesn't mind.

He also gets much more protective over her when she's little. It could be something as small as seeing a bug in the house or crossing the street, but whatever it is, he's making sure she's alright. That's his baby and though he's still figuring it out, he'll do anything for her.

Very tired kiddo, but hates sleeping alone. She spends most nights (if they aren't with each other) on the phone with Mike or falling asleep together (which happens more often than the former.) And he, having a similar problem, is cool with it either way.

Has a plush bunny (and later on, all the other animatronics) that she keeps with her at all times. It's small enough to fit in her pocket, so she can bring it in to work whenever she's having a rough day.

While her skills aren't as good as they normally are, she still loves to draw with Abby when she feels old enough to. Most of the time they're just scribbles and she's proud of it either way.

S O many forts. It's not even funny. They're her favorite spot to be in and there's no stopping her and Abby from building them.

Speaking of which, it was difficult in the first place to tell Mike about her regression, and it was even more so when it came to Abby. She was a kid and Vanessa didn't expect her to understand it, plus she worried that it would freak her out. They didn't exactly say it was that, but they pretty much put in a way that made sense to Abby. And she didn't mind, she was actually happy to have someone to play with, even if it wasn't someone exactly her age.

She never had a ton of pet names growing up, so Mike takes advantage of that. Mainly variations of her name like "Nessa", and he calls her ones he finds silly or funny. Like "Peanut" or "Munchkin." He does have a favorite though and ends up calling her "Little Lady" most often.

Much more comfortable with PDA/touching in general when she's little. Even if it's just small, subtle things like holding each other's pinkies or holding hands. It helps her feel safer to know that someone else is there like "Hey, I got you." And it helps both her and Mike open up more to each other by doing it.

the DNI banner credit goes to @geekgirl-33, I hope it's okay that I used it!

[annoying--moth]

No matter how many times it is explained to me or I talk about it with someone, I can't fully grasp what exactly is going on with art in the arc of a scythe universe. Because like,

It's stated multiple times that post-mortal art is "bland" and "uninspired" and "redone to death," and while I can certainly understand SOME art being like that, surely not all art is like that?? And I understand this in the sense that like, everyone's constantly remaking/repainting/making their own versions of famous paintings and such, but also there still has to be people who don't do that, right??? Like maybe I just have zero reading comprehension and somehow missed the bigger picture, but I feel like all this talk about art being redone to death implies that no one is making original art anymore? Which just. doesn't seem feasible to me?? Because as an artist myself, I can't see immortality taking away my ability to draw or come up with cool ideas. I don't draw because I'm going to die one day, I draw because I like it, and it's a form of creative expression. You can always come up with something new to draw- whether it's a cool oc, or someone you know, or just something random and abstract. The possibilities never end!

Of course, I suppose there is the argument then that people just aren't creative anymore, but I also find that hard to believe. I couldn't imagine ever truly running out of ideas. Like I mentioned above, OCs people??? I highly doubt there's no one in the post-mortal era still making weird, whacky, badass, or just cute OCs. Heck, I'd expect scythe ocs to be really popular! I wonder if it's like a thing for every kid to have a scythe oc phase..? Or at least kids in certain communities/fandoms (like scythe card trading- maybe they make their own cards for their scythe ocs!)

And also, it's confirmed that fiction is still very much a thing in the post-mortal era (I know zombies are referenced in one Gleanings story) so it's not like people can only connect to non-fiction. That's another thing that's discussed more in terms of theatre and writing- people not being able to connect to the themes because they're so far removed from it in reality. But my thing is, I've never experienced war or death (until very recently at least) and I still don't find myself unable to sympathize with people losing their loved ones to death or war or disease, although I suppose this could also have to do with the nanites. Plus the fact that death and war still exist in society as an actual thing that happens, but idk.

Also by the way- I feel like that one Gleanings story The Mortal Canvas has a subtle diss on digital art? And I have nothing against traditional art- heck I probably draw traditionally more often since I'm always doodling/sketching, but I feel like just because art is digital doesn't mean it's "uninspired" or whatever people were saying in the books. In fact, I've found myself moved emotionally by more digital pieces than traditional ones (although I don't see a lot of traditional paintings compared to digital ones tbf)

Also also I want to say- I don't exactly know how well this relates to my point but that one dude in The Mortal Canvas who made the others' artstyles into filters was a huge douchebag. AI art type shit, I was ready to strangle him reading that.

I remember the bit in The Toll about Ezra the artist, and how he said he was just "decent" or "moderately good" or something along those lines when we first met him, and I was going to make an argument about that part too but to be honest it's been a little while since I've read The Toll so I'll have to come back to that one once I reread it. But I think it also had to do with the emotional/creative aspect of art, which again, I refuse to believe immortality has such an influence on creativity that no art is original or interesting anymore. Sure it might make certain things harder, or make motivation worse, but I feel like if someone is truly creative it doesn't matter? Though then again, I'm not immortal so what do I know.

I briefly mentioned nanites earlier, and that is one thing that I do think probably has an impact, and I specifically mean emo-nanites. Since post-mortals can't feel as strong emotions as us mortal humans, perhaps that's also why their art seems more uninspired or whatever, because they can't put as much emotion into it. However, an excess amount of emotion isn't exactly needed to make art either. Like as I was writing this I was looking through my own art and realised that for some pieces I wasn't putting any emotional thought whatsoever into the pieces, yet there's still a clear emotion there when you look at them. Joy, wonder, whatever.

Anyway in conclusion, I think that it's unrealistic to say that all post-mortal art would be dull, uninspired, and meaningless, because I believe there will always be creative people who will make art not because they're gonna die one day, but because they want to and enjoy it, simple as that. Thanks to whoever stuck around long enough to read this far, I really hope it made sense. It's kinda late while I'm writing this and tbh I'm half-expecting there to be some huge detail/plot point that I missed that makes my whole argument totally invalid, whether that's me misinterpreting all the bits about post-mortal art or just being a complete dumbass with zero media literacy. Either way hope this was a fun read, I don't write long-form posts like these super often (note the lack of confidence in my media literacy skills) and if I made a really bad argument/missed something huge please be nice in the notes, I have a fragile ego :(

Uh yeah anyway I think I got everything as usual don't take my rambling *too* seriously, I just always found it confusing how post-mortal art is said to be so "uninspired" (I keep using that word cause I reread chapter 3 of Scythe today and Faraday uses it there) when I personally can't imagine not being able to be creative, though perhaps I'm just self-projecting. So uh, yeah.

[jaehyunsprincesspeach]

Just You and Me

Brb, crying, screaming, sliding down the wall...... i really let my delusions write this one for me omggg

Hope y'all enjoy!!

All the love ~ lunar

Pairing: Yuta x fem!reader

Wc: 2.57k

Warnings: Mentions of stress, anxious feelings, overwhelmed feelings, potentially the fluffiest fluff i've ever written

You're new to the world of fame. As exciting as it all is, you have also found it to be very overwhelming. People have been telling you your whole life that you should be a model, and one day you decided to just go for it. What did you have to lose right? When you were accepted by the top modeling agency of Seoul, you felt so many different emotions. Excitement, nerves, even fear, yet you went with it, wanting to see where this life would lead you. 

It's been a month since you have moved to Seoul, and things have been chaotic, to say the least. You have made many friends from all over the world, and that has helped you with the transition, but you often felt that you have no time for yourself. Everyday you wake up, go to the photo shoot that is scheduled for the day, stand in front of cameras, sit in the dressing room changing looks, and when you are up for it, you get dinner with some of the other models. Everyday, the same routine, though you still feel the excitement with the variety of shoots you have been scheduled for. Still, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. Today is the first day you have not had a schedule in a month. What better way to relax than reading in a coffee shop? Lucky for you, you have found one in a rather quiet area, and have made friends with the staff. Walking in, they greet you with a smile, and prepare your coffee for you.

“No schedules today?”

“Nope, not today.” “Good, you deserve some time to relax too. Stay as long as you would like, let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you so much!”

Walking to a quiet corner of the coffee shop, you settle in and begin reading your book. A psychological thriller. Becoming beyond invested in your book, you fail to hear the group of boys walking, talking and laughing rather loudly. Other customers who are enjoying the peace give them sideways looks, while you keep your nose in your book. With the intensity of your reading, you also fail to notice that you have caught their attention. It’s no secret that you have become well known, and you stick out like a sore thumb as is, being a foreigner. It’s a wonder that the group didn’t notice you sooner. 

Sitting in a different corner of the coffee shop, one of the boys in particular cannot take his eyes off of you. As the rest of the group continues talking and laughing with each other, there he sits, quietly observing you. He knows exactly who you are, yet to the world, the real you is still a mystery. One that he intends to uncover. In fear that he will lose his opportunity, he gets up, leaving the group of boys confused as he walks to you. Eyes wide open, and jaws on the floor, the group watches intently as the man approaches you. 

“Hello, is this seat taken?” He says upon arriving at the table you are seated at, drawing your attention away from the book you are completely engrossed in. 

“It's all yours.” You reply with a gentle smile, hoping your excitement is contained enough not to make the man uncomfortable.

If there is one thing that the world knows about you, it's that you have an immense sense of confidence. Not that you think you are better than anyone else, more so that you know your worth, and know that you work hard for the accomplishments you have received thus far. However, being caught off guard by someone you have admired for years, has your confidence slipping a little bit. 

“You're y/n right? The recent model sensation?”

“And you're Yuta, K-Pop sensation?” You reply with your own question that you clearly know the answer to.

“So you do know me?”

“Yeah, big fan actually.”

“I'm honored that someone as beautiful as you is a fan of mine.”

“I could say the same about you.”

It's beginning to become a battle of confidence between the two of you, trying to see who will crack first. Everyone knows of Yuta’s confidence in himself. He knows he's attractive, and now, as much confidence you show to the world, Yuta himself is finding out just how unintimidated you are. Little does he know, you are actually screaming on the inside, though that is something that you refuse to show him. 

After some time conversing with him, he must return to his schedules. Leaving you with a smirk, and his phone number, you feel like you are finally able to breathe. Adrenaline still coursing through your veins, you decide to head home for the evening, hoping that your flustered state will stay at bay until you are in the comfort of your apartment. 

Immediately after closing the door, you happily dance all of the nerves out of your body. Still in shock from talking to THE Yuta Nakamoto, you sit on your couch and attempt to process what happened. Looking at the phone number, you debate on messaging him, thinking it could be too soon, but also thinking, what do you have to lose?

“Is this THE Yuta Nakamoto?” you message, making your joking sarcasm evident enough.

“No way, is this the y/n?” He replies, making you smile as he returns your energy.

The rest of the night is spent on and off messaging him, as he can only text when he has a break with his schedule. Giggles fill your apartment, and the feeling of butterflies is something that you can't contain. Little did you know, Yuta has the same feelings as you. Constantly smiling at his phone, and an immense feeling of butterflies in his stomach. This feeling for him is new. It's rare when he finds someone that he wants to constantly talk to, but he knows that this is the case when he feels the frustration of having to leave the conversation for his schedule. All he wants to do is talk to you. He likes your confidence, and witty comments. He finds it refreshing that someone can match his humor and return it just as well as he can. Both of you can already tell, this is the start of an amazing friendship, maybe even something more. 

3 months later

It's now been four months of living in Seoul, and things are just as chaotic as ever. Though you have gotten used to the schedules and constant cameras, you find the most peace when you are with Yuta. Being that you have met all of NCT at this point, most, if not all, of your free time is spent with them. They have become your family, and slowly but surely, Yuta has become your home away from home. Many nights are spent in comfortable silence with him, the two of you doing your own things, simply enjoying each other's presence.

Upcoming events include more photo shoots, as well as your first invite to an award show. The show itself is for K-Pop, though you have been invited as well, being that you are one of the most well known individuals in all of South Korea at this point. Having you there is huge for publicity, being that you have been able to make friendships with many K-Pop idols. Plus, you want to go to show your support for your friends. 

With only a few days till the award show, on the outside you are as confident as ever. But internally, you are completely overwhelmed, which is something that Yuta is not blind to. He knows you better than anyone else. He knows that you struggle in large crowds, but you refuse to show it. He knows that this will be the first large event you have ever attended, and your stubbornness refuses to let you show your nerves. What makes you the most nervous, is that you and Yuta are already being swarmed with dating rumors. You know how deeply that can affect not only your career, but his moreso. The rumors flying around have had you on edge for weeks, and though Yuta does a great job of calming you down when he is with you, all of those same anxious feelings are persistent. 

You have hid the fact that you want to be with Yuta well, at least you thought you have. Even the photographs that have been taken of the two of you have shown nothing but a platonic relationship, refusing to so much as brush hands with him in public. Even in the privacy of your apartment, or his dorm, the only physical contact is a hug when he knows that you are not okay. Nothing more, nothing less. You have it set in your mind that he wants nothing more than a friendship with you, because as good as you are at hiding your feelings, he's just slightly better at it. 

The day of the award show arrives, and you wake up nauseous, unable to keep any food down from the anxious feeling you have. You are put in the most beautiful black dress you have ever seen. Long, and form fitting, with a hint of sparkle. Diamonds drape across your neck, and hang from your ears, with a stunning makeup look done by your artists. It is easily the most elegant you have ever looked, and you are hoping that you will be able to make it through the award show without ruining the look. 

Getting into the car, you take as many deep breaths as you can before arriving at the venue. Your style team is riding with you, doing their best to calm you down, yet the only person who you want to be with is him. Doing your best to control your anxiety, you are taken back by the sight you are greeted with when you arrive. 

All of NCT has cleared a path, waiting patiently for you to arrive, with none other than Yuta standing at the end, waiting to escort you to your seat, which he has also made sure is right next to him. Getting out of the car, all of the guys begin to whistle at the sight of you looking like true royalty, while Yuta looks at you as if you yourself hung the stars in the sky. He is left speechless, as he extends his hand to you. Reaching for him, he can feel you shaking, yet your eyes never leave his. 

“You look stunning, y/n.” He says with a starstruck expression.

“Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself.” You say, returning the compliment with a gentle smile. 

“You know, these dating rumors are only going to get worse with all of this right?” You say with an uneasy tone, trying to avoid eye contact with the swarm of paparazzi around you.

“Let them. I want the world to know that the most beautiful woman in the world is mine.”

Finally, after months, you are left speechless. His words take your typical confidence, and leave you at a loss for words. Of course, he notices, and flashes you that smirk that makes your knees weak. After months of a battle of confidence, you are the one who breaks. You are the one left flustered, and he is enjoying not only your dress now, but your speechless state. As if that would be the end of it, you are led to an extremely crowded room. Pausing at the door, you feel a hand on the small of your back, with Yuta in your ear.

“Don't worry pretty girl, I'm not letting go.”

With that you take a deep breath, and start walking again. Your confidence is something Yuta has always admired, but your brave heart is what captured his. No matter how nervous you are, you always continue forward. He's mesmerized by you in every way possible, and he is making it known to the world. Finally reaching your seats, people are looking at the two of you with curious eyes. Yuta, taking notice of you looking around the room, places his hand on your leg, capturing your attention.

“Don't look at them, look at me. It's just you and me.” His words calm your wandering mind, and he sees you relax slightly, which brings a smile to his lips. Throughout the night, Yuta would say things like this when he notices you tense up. “You're doing good, pretty girl, confident as ever.” Though he knows your confidence is faltering. He keeps a hand on you at all times, knowing that you find solace in him being around. For the first time in your life, you find yourself enjoying the chaps of a crowded room, filled with wandering eyes, and cheers, and slowly, you begin to release the tension that you are feeling, which puts Yuta at ease as well. The night is filled with laughter, cheers and applause, and light hearted jokes, and you wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else by your side. 

As things wind to an end, you are escorted back to your car by Yuta, who leaves you with a kiss on your knuckles. A bashful smile plastered on your lips, you look at him as if he is the only one in the world, and in that moment, he is. Getting into the car, he closes the door, and rushes to the driver, whispering something in their ear. Curiosity sparks in your mind, as he looks back at you and sends you a wink. Driving home, you can't help but wonder what he said, until you finally realize that the driver has taken the route to Yuta’s dorm, where he is waiting for you. 

Walking up to him yet again, he takes you inside, and gives you some more comfortable clothes to change into. After throwing on his tee shirt and sweats that he handed you, you meet him in the living room, where he takes you by the hand, and swoops you off your feet, literally. 

“The night’s not over, pretty girl.” Carrying you outside, to see a tarp hung in the trees, a bluetooth projector, fairy lights, and candles, he somehow managed to have your own private after party set up before you got there, rendering you speechless, yet again. Setting you back down on your feet, you look at the sight in front of you in awe, but Yuta is only looking at you. He takes you to sit down, before grabbing your hand again.

“Welcome to the after party.” 

“Yuta, this is stunning! How did you manage all of this?” 

“I had some help.”

“ I love it.”

“I meant what I said earlier, about the prettiest girl in the world being mine, but you didn't say anything back.” he says, letting his own nerves finally surface. Something you catch onto quickly. Before he can say anything else, you pull him into a gentle, yet passionate kiss. 

“I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I'm all yours.” You say, looking deep into his eyes, as he is now speechless. Pulling you into another kiss, the two of you spend the night watching movies, laughing at the terrible jokes being made, and simply enjoying quality time together. The perfect ending to a day that is now engraved in your mind. 

[angelphonia]

Okay, I've been binge watching the Stop!!Hibari-kun anime and I've got some thoughts I need to let out.

Firstly, watching the anime makes me appreciate the Manga a hundred times more. Sure, the Manga had its problems, mostly the racism and the casual homophobia jokes and transphobia, but you could save stuff from it, like that even though there were homophobic jokes there was a gay woman who wasn't mocked because of her attraction to Hibari, or that despite the transphobia Hibari was never outright shown as being wrong by being herself.

Now, the anime does a lot of things I dislike. Firstly they make Kosaku's reactions be way more negative than in the Manga. While yes, he reacts negatively he is also seen blushing a lot when Hibari flirts with him. I may need to read the Manga for fourth time, but I also don't remember Kosaku constantly mentioning Hibari is a "guy" everytime she did anything.

There is a lot much more racism in the anime. There were problems with this in the Manga but it just feels way more present in the anime.

This one doesn't bother me too much, but I'm pretty sure the chapters do not align with the Manga, but again, this doesn't bother me.

I also noticed way more incest jokes, I don't care about them. Also the Seiji chapter where he falls in love with one of Hibari's bullies when she's 15 and Seiji is around 25/30 is very questionable. Again, this is a work of fiction so while I was like "why isn't this seen wrong?" I wasn't really uncomfortable. I do gotta say that in the Manga when the Japanese mob grown manchild son asked for Hibari's hand in marriage, it was inmediatly said he was 28 and Hibari was super taken aback. This doesn't happen in the anime, his age is NEVER mentioned. I can't quite remember, but I am sure Hibari also doesn't go on a date with him.

Oof, but here we go with the thing that has bothered me the most. The REALLY bad erasure of Jun's story. They absolutely took away her lesbianism, making it seem as if she was only interested in Hibari because of her volleyball abilities. They also totally changed the episode and made Jun be deeply ashamed of her family, that while in the Manga she was a bit embarassed it wasn't a main focus. In the Anime it was, even making her leave the volleyball club, which is crazy to me. Oh, and I'm NOT forgetting that they made Hibari enjoy getting gropped in the bus, when in the Manga she was clearly just disgusted by it.

I haven't finished it yet, may edit this post with more complains. Positive things? I'm sure Seiji and Sabu didn't have names in the Manga, so now they have identities. They try and give them more backstory, even adding an eye scar to Sabu, which was appreciated. Hibari's voice is absolutely the cutest. I liked the wrestling episode. Oh, the episode with Hibari's mother and her father was a delight, she didn't express this much emotion in the Manga, so actually seeing how she feels was great, and her end interaction with her father was adorable.

Can't remember anything more rn. As a side note, I've developed a little crush on Sabu and I'm gonna draw him. Hope you enjoyed my rambling!

EDIT:

Remembered the Honda thing. In the Anime he almost reaches his 1000 girls flirted with, but with one it is half a girl. In the Manga this was because he looked at a 5 year old by accident and she fell in love, while in the anime they made it so he flirted with a new half. For those who don't know, new half is an old Japanese term for transgender people, mostly trans women who were post op. In the subtitles this is translated as crossdresser, which I don't like. This isn't the first time this term is mentioned, in the spartan son episode, he calls Hibari a new half, which Kosaku tells him to not do. In another chapter there is a trans woman, and she refers to herself as New half, which again is incorrectly translated to crossdresser for some reason.

Even then there was some sort of minimal knowledge of trans people, not only with this, but in the Manga the addition of Genkijirou being a canonical trans man in hormones. Eguchi was aware and while his first idea was to make Hibari a feminine man, it obviously end up with her being a trans woman.

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello there! I hope you are doing well (as well as someone who has completed watching season 2) First of all congrats on moving into a new house! I'm still having lots of Feelings™ to process after finishing the second season.. oh god the acting, the genuine emotions on the faces of both Michael and David this time around... I'm simultaneously radiating happiness and being utterly destroyed. And the increasing intimacy between them in the interviews is not helping matters either... I think (this has been marinating in my head for a while) one of the reasons they are doing this is to physically reassure each other that they are not apart, they are still a team and still on their side, because after the heart wrenching ending of the season, it would have been very hard for them to come to terms with it, as they had put their whole beings, their whole souls into playing Azi and Crowley, which might have made it difficult to draw a line where the characters ended and they begin... So the touches, their body language became a sort of coping mechanism, something which said 'hey, don't worry, I'm still here.. I have not gone away, we're still together' and this makes me wanna cry again 😭

I hope my word vomit makes an iota of sense (English is not my first language by a long shot, so) and I hope you do find some time to rest and have a warm beverage of your choice while unwinding. Stay safe and blessed!!

Hi there! Thank you so much for the congrats on my move, I truly appreciate it. I've actually had a very rough couple of days, as on top of the move, my Facebook account was hacked earlier this week, and it essentially pushed me over the edge and I was crying for much of Monday and felt like I had a crying "hangover" all day Tuesday.

You do not at all have to apologize for your Ask--your English is very good!--and I'm glad to read your thoughts as I make my way through all the Anons still residing in my inbox. Truly, we are fortunate to have GO 2 and Michael and David to focus on, as well as the abundance of interviews we've gotten after months and months of little to no content.

To start: I absolutely agree with you, re: the intimacy between Michael and David in these interviews. It's been so fascinating to see them get more flirty and touchy-feely with each progressive interview (I know we don't know the order in which they were done, but I imagine the flirting/touching increased as the day went on). And while I can definitely see them doing what you described--reassuring each other, touching and being close as a coping mechanism--my feeling is they already did all that last year, probably right after filming That Scene. (There is actually a gorgeous MS/DT fic on AO3 right now that depicts exactly that, and it's definitely worth reading.)

But in terms of all the intimacy and touching in the more recent interviews (from last month), I think what we're seeing is something else. I think Michael and David are beyond the need for reassurance because they are so comfortable with each other and know they're still together, permanently. There's no more of the uncertainty of parting ways after the promo interviews end--only the promise of seeing each other again as soon as both their lives and schedules allow it.

There have been so many moments of telling body language and touches and expressions, but if I had to pick a favorite (well, a few), one would be them walking arm-in-arm onto The One Show:

And the other would be David leaning so far over and draping his arm around Michael in the Amazon Q&A video:

...And of course (and possibly most notable), Michael and David seemingly unconsciously moving closer to each other in the TV Insider interview:

It's so telling that there is no urgency or desperateness to any of this--only comfort and very much that sense of "on our side" that you mentioned. Walking out arm-in-arm as they did in particular adds to that "us against the world" feeling and the not-so-subtle implication that while they were Michael Sheen and David Tennant on the season one press tour, here, now, they are Michael and David. Inseparable, always intertwined, and having so much more of themselves in the characters of Aziraphale and Crowley than in the first season.

So yes, everything you wrote absolutely did make sense, and I appreciate you writing in to share your thoughts with me. I have a lot more thoughts/analysis about GO season 2 still to share, which I hope to do in response to the numerous Anons still waiting in my inbox. Thanks for writing in! x