#finnougricweek

[kyuhu]

a quick sketchy thing for finnougricweek because I don’t have a lot of time lately ;v;

[scarlettlillies]

Hetalia- Team Uralic (Poketalia!AU)

I’m very late but I was really eager to submit something for Finno-Ugric Week! I ended up making a short Poketalia fic for Day 6: Fight Night Friday. I used the teams and names from my own Poketalia AU however I’m undecided if this is set within that same universe.

Basic premise for this fic is that the Uralic Trio set out to retrieve some of their stolen Pokemon.

Team Platinum is not a real team (yet but who knows in the future?) in the Pokemon series and was made up for this fic. Same with the admin character and grunts.

And for those not familiar with all the Pokemon mentioned, there’s a quick list with links for you at the end of the fic!

Enjoy!

“Do you think this is a good idea?”

“No but we're going to do it anyway.”

“You're so reckless Erzsi!” Timo replied nervously. “Shouldn't we have gotten the police involved in this?”

Erzsébet took a peek around the corner to see if any grunts were guarding the area. But the coast was clear and gave a signal to have her companions follow her as they ran down the brightly lit and almost sterile-looking hallway.

“By the time the police launch their investigation, my Haxorus, Ed's Vikavolt, and many other Pokemon will have already been sold on the black market. I'm not letting that happen.”

While Timo agreed with her ideals, this entire situation still didn't feel right to him. They were infiltrating an organization that was generally seen as a positive force globally. They had several facilities around the world to allow Pokemon to thrive in their natural habitat. They cared for injured and abandoned Pokemon. They had multiple departments where they studied everything there was to know about them. But in reality, it was mostly a front to commit crime behind the scenes. They were hiring criminals to steal Pokemon from trainers. Depending on the trainer's worth, a seemingly average Pokemon could fetch more than a million dollars. A rare Pokemon associated with a big name trainer could go for twice or three times more. They were mostly rumours but Erzsébet knew the truth. She followed the thieves to this facility where she saw a group of men being paid with a brief case full of money and drugs by a man and a woman in lab coats.

No one knew what was truly going on behind the scenes and that was their advantage. There was nothing was stopping them from calling the police on them.

“Eduard, you've been awfully quiet this entire time,” he said.

“I'm just here to make sure no one gets hurts and get back Vikavolt,” Eduard replied in a flat tone. His mind's in other places so Timo didn't press him any further. He hoped that everything would be okay in the end.

The group had arrived to a dead end but they were exactly where they wanted to be as they were greeted to a steel door in front of them.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Timo asked.

“I'm positive.” Erzsébet replied. One of her trusted partners, Breloom, had been out with them since the beginning and had been a huge help breaking down doors and destroying the security cameras. Breloom knew what it had to do and without hesitation it broke through the steel door using Brick Break multiple times. In the corner of Eduard's eye, he caught a glance of something in the wall to the left of them.

He gasped, “Erzsi! There's a camera in that wall!”

Erzsébet and Timo froze with shock as they turned their heads but Breloom jumped into action using Sludge Bomb. Parts of the wall disintegrated as did most of the camera.

“Nicely done Breloom! Now let's go.”

The group quietly entered the room and few lights were on, making it appear dark and gloomy compared to the rest of the building. The sight of Pokeballs went on forever as the space was filled with more than three dozen large bookshelves and the balls carefully placed on specially designed metal stands. Erzsébet suggested they split up; Timo to the left, her down the middle, and Eduard to the right. Before they parted, two more Pokemon joined their crew. Timo released his Dragonite while Eduard released his Chandelure. If they were to go alone, they at least had to be smart about it.

They went their separate ways and began glancing through the shelves. Every now and then they'd spot a camera or two and had them destroyed to cover their tracks. Their search was tiresome however as most of the Pokeballs looked the same with their traditional red-white colour scheme. But with a cry from the back of the room, Timo and Erzsébet ran as fast as their legs could carry them. When they arrived, Eduard was on his knees smiling gleefully with two Pokeballs in his hands and showed them off to his companions.

“I found them!” he said as he held out his hands. The Pokeball in his left hand was that of his Vikavolt's while the one in his right was that of Erzsébet's Haxorus. Both Pokeballs were unique in their designs as they featured traditional folk patterns of their homelands and made them easy to spot amongst the sea of items to find.

Erzsébet was emotional as she took the Pokeball from Eduard and held it close to her chest. Timo rubbed her back to comfort her. She was overjoyed that Haxorus was safe and sound. She couldn't imagine what would have happened has she had lost her for good. She didn't want to think about that. All that mattered was that both Haxorus and Vikavolt were safe and back where they belonged.

“You there! Stop right there!”

Their moment was cut short as a group of grunts spotted them from behind, a mixed batch of male and female members who were ready to battle. They had tried to flee but another group blocked them from other end. They were forced to huddle together as the sounds of heels clicking against the floor grew louder until a tall short-haired brunette wearing a lab coat joined the group of grunts. Erzsébet gasped as she recognized the woman from earlier. She was the one handing out a suitcase to the criminals who stole their Pokemon.

“You have some nerve breaking into our facility, damaging our property, and stealing our Pokemon.”

“Your Pokemon? Bullshit, these are far from yours. We came here to take back what is ours. I know you're stealing Pokemon to sell on the black market. Your organization is a phony.”

“Those are some pretty big accusations you're throwing out there,” she smirked. “Not like anyone is going to believe you.”

She cut through her group of grunts and slowly walked up closer to the three of them. She kept a bit of distance between herself and them. Breloom, Dragonite, and Chandelure all took their positions in front of their trainers and growled however she was not intimidated by their presence.

“I know who you are. Eduard Tamm, Erzsébet Héderváry, Timo Vainonen—all respected trainers from your home countries. Do you know how easy it would be for me to pick up the phone and call the police? What a joy it would be to see the headlines tomorrow! 'World champions arrested and charged in Team Platinum incident.' Your careers would be ruined and you'd get a stint in jail too!”

Erzsébet was not deterred and stood her ground. She would not let her words get to her head.

“You think you're tough but you hide behind your grunts who do your dirty work for you. Stealing Pokemon is not something I let slide and if you do it to me or my family, it gets personal. You mess with me, you mess with all of us.”

There was a brief pause but with a booming voice, she made herself appear powerful as she held out Haxorus's Pokeball, a sign of a challenge.

“You, Team Platinum, are no match for us, Team Uralic!”

The woman stared at them expressionless but a grin crept up on her face as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a Pokeball with the Team Platinum logo on it and out came a Porygon-Z. The rest of the grunts followed suit and released their own Pokemon—a mixed bag between Magnemites, Golbats, and Raticates.

“Let's see if your words match your skills. Don't be crying now if you lose!”

Erzsébet wasn't worried for a moment. She was strong. They were strong. With her cousins by her side, there was no way they could lose. They were level-headed and observant, never cocky. All they had to do was remain calm and do their best.

And their best was what they did.

Pokemon Masterlist - Haxorus - Vikavolt - Breloom - Dragonite - Chandelure - Porygon-Z - Magnemite - Golbat - Raticate

I should also make an important note before someone calls me out on it: Breloom can learn Sludge Bomb, but only as a Shroomish via TM. I figured that’s something Erzsébet would probably do to add some variety to its move pool.

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #6. (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: not our fault Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts Rating: General Warnings: denest mention, sufin mention, one swear word at the end

Sept 22th: Fight Night Friday

On the same line as Tiny Terrors Tuesday, but let’s throw in some Finnish snipers and some good, old, crazy competitions. Whether they are bonding by history or by competition is yours to decide!

A/N: AHH I’m late because my mother’s birthday was on Friday and due to that I’m just getting back in town and to my computer. I should have Saturday’s fic up either later today or tomorrow, hopefully today, that is if my computer stops being weird and telling me i have a virus when I don’t. This is just based off the fact that I thought this would be a funny little story and preceded to make it funny. No need for translations but the bottom does have some fun little information in it. 

Denmark started it, that’s how she’ll explain it tomorrow when Germany is yelling at the three of them for destruction of property and complete irresponsibility. But at the moment, she would focus on the competition… challenge?… fight? Shrugging, she wasn’t sure what to call what was going on at the moment, but she didn’t really care.

It had started with Denmark talking about his vikings, talking about the good ol’ days with Sweden and Norway and talking about how undefeated he was and how amazing his people were and as a former nomad country she could admit that his people were really amazing, but she also wished that he had the forethought to include the smallest of footnotes that his vikings – his and Sweden's and Norway’s and Iceland's – all lost at some point to Estonia’s beloved Oeselians. If he had, maybe Finland wouldn’t be throwing daggers at the wall of the establishment in order to see who was better.

“Come on!” She shouted as Finland stepped up to the line they had placed on the carpet. From Sweden and Finland’s shared hotel room to the business center in the hotel, the journey was not something that Hungary could fully remember, but she did remember collecting several other nations – it was why behind her she was hearing bets being taken by Prussia and Austria mumbling about behaviour and she turned sharply to fake whisper. “Shh, Germany can’t find out.” She slurred.

Drinking was not something she did often, but when she did, she often over-drank. She knew it was a problem, but it was something that her and her cute cousins all shared. Maybe it was in the blood?

“Elizaveta,” Austria said but she shook her head, turning back to the front.

Finland, even as wobbly as he was, managed to hit the bullseye, cheering loudly as he did so. He grabbed another dagger, tossing it again and hitting inside the circle, knocking his first dagger out of the wall. “I am the best!” He cheered as he turned, bowing slightly and nearly tipping over.

Sweden stepped forward to help him walk back to his spot and Finland muttered something in Finnish that had the larger nation blushing lightly. Hungary laughed loudly and then pushed Estonia forward, “Sword fighting!” She yelled, “To the death!”

“Not to the death.” Denmark yelled, “I’m not killing my sweetheart!”

“You lost against Eduard several times already, you’re not going to win now.” She said dangerously, her eyes glinting.

“Be careful, he stabs people randomly!” Prussia yelled and Estonia turned and frowned, muttering in his language.

She knew what it meant though, unlike Finland who never taught her the more saucy and fun words of his language, she had often heard Estonia threatening to stab Prussia again while living in Russia’s house. “Whoo!” She shouted, “War against Prussia!”

France, from his position as the Fencing judge, yawned and said, “Are we ready to continue, I wish to go back to sleep!”

Denmark grabbed the foil from Norway while she handed Estonia the foil that Finland had grabbed, “Kick his butt.”

Estonia wavered but nodded as he stepped forward, saluting Denmark with a small smile on his face. It was obvious that he was trying not to laugh and after a moment, Hungary got why he was struggling.

“What?” Denmark asked, confused, tilting his head as he lumbered forward. His eyes were bloodshot and she was sure that the vodka that they had been drinking finally hit his stomach. “What’re laughing at?”

“The swords reminds me of wands and Harry Potter and I drank to much.” Estonia somehow managed to say as he broke into laughter, doubling over. His words were slurred and barely understandable to anyone who wasn’t as close to the Estonian, but she understood and she broke out laughing with him, Finland joining in a second later. Denmark looked at the swords and then back at Estonia and joined in laughing, the room falling apart in seconds.

“Salute each other!” France yelled and Hungary realized that she should’ve gotten a judge that would not be so cranky.

Estonia waved off the cranky nation and then stood up straight, trying and still failing at keeping his laughter in. “Okay, saluting.”

They faced each other, holding their foils up and giving each other a small bow of the head before they turned and saluted Francis.

“En garde! Prêts? Allez!”

The Phrase started and Hungary watched intently – or as intently as a nation that was drunk off their rocker could – and cheered whenever Estonia managed to parry one of Denmark’s thrust. She watched as Estonia took the offensive, forcing the taller nation back. A grin grew on Estonia’s face as he lunged forward, making a hit on Denmark.

That was when Germany slammed the door open, being alerted of what was going on by the beleaguered staff of the hotel.

Hungary jolted forward, grabbing both Finland and Estonia and ran out the room, pushing past the German nation and throwing a “they started it!” over her shoulder as she did so. She’d explain better whenever she had the chance to but at the moment all that was on her mind was escaping the business center and hiding somewhere.

Half a mile from the hotel, which actually turned out to leave them around some park, they stopped, dropping behind a bush and lying down, breathing heavily. “Oh my god,” She laughed, “Oh my fuck, we almost died.”

“We could’ve taken him.” Finland said, “At least I could’ve.”

“What does that mean?” Estonia asked, sitting up and frowning. “I could’ve taken him as well.”

Finland snorted, “You could’ve not have.”

“You wanna bet?”

“Neither of you could’ve!” Hungary cut in, “But I can and I can take you both.”

She jumped on them, a smile on her face. She was the badassest of them three and she was going to prove it to them.

(Later when explaining this to Germany, she’d admit that wrestling in a closed park at quarter past three was irresponsible but also fun so she had no regrets. When her boss would yell at her, telling her that she was being completely reckless, she’d shake her head because no, having fun with family is never a bad thing – well, unless of course you get arrested, which they did, but still!)

A/N: Random Facts:

Oeselians were Estonian vikings and were pretty badass. Like ransacking and stealing and just badassery. They kicked major Nordic viking ass back in the day and really, go read about them. It’s also due to the Oeselians that they have found coin hoards in Estonia dating back as far as the 8th century. Pretty cool ,right?

Just assume Finland said something really saucy to Sweden, something about sex or something.

Also, Prussia’s line about Estonia stabbing him has to do with St. George’s Night Uprising, which ended with Estonia’s land being given to the Teutonic Knights and, in my own headcanon, ended with Estonia stabbing Prussia shortly after being handed off to him leading to their relationship being not the easiest. Honestly though I’m hoe for that ship so why do I shove all the angst in it??

Finnish sharpshooters amirite? No really, it’s a headcanon between my sister and I that Finland can throw knives, no real reason for it, but I thought I’d throw it in since I didn’t want to go bringing out the big guns. (bad joke ._. )

The scene in Harry Potter where Draco and Harry are dueling always comes to mind whenever I watch fencing videos and well, drunk Estonia is based on drunk me. 

It’s said somewhere in Hima’s notes that France is not the type of person who likes being awoken suddenly, which is what Hungary did and also left him just standing off to the side while they did other things since they hadn’t needed him yet. 

I don’t know how to fence, so if the information for fencing is wrong I’m sorry - and yes I know they’re not dressed appropriately, I just figured that being drunk allows for a certain level of stupidity. 

Also, Finland went up against Norway in knife throwing, Estonia went up against Denmark in Fencing and Hungary was going to wrestle Sweden who probably would’ve let her win regardless of anything. 

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #5. (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: hipsters Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts Rating: General Warnings: denest mention, sufin mention

Sept 21th: Hipster Thursday

This one is @kruspolska for the suggestion. There are one three countries whose official language is Finno-Ugric after all. Exclusive. You probably never heard of it before. Time to make this trio the Hipster Trio.

A/N: I, at some point, will release the sort of prequel to this fic but like right now it’s gotten so long that I had to just release this part. Also, the idea that these three get together to drink and have fun at every meeting is probably my favourite headcanon in the world. No translations, but a little information at the bottom. And yes, I do dress them in colors that belong to their flags, I have no shame in that.

She showed up to the world meeting in white cut-off shorts and a large green plaid shirt over a red tank top, a pair of glasses she didn’t need sat on her nose and her hair was done in the messiest braid of them all. The flower in her hair barely showed with how messy her hair looked and it looked as if she had slept in that outfit she wore. A Starbucks coffee cup held in one hand, she slid in her spot and looked towards the door, as if she was waiting for something, before she looked back towards England, who had been speaking before she interrupted.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” She muttered, her cheeks flaring up. “Continue, sorry.”

England cleared her throat but before she could speak, the door opened yet again.

Estonia walked in, holding the door open, wearing an outfit almost exactly similar to Hungary’s; white cut off shorts, large blue plaid shirt over a black tank top; the biggest difference was the fact that she was carrying her work binder under one arm and had her over-sized messenger bag hooked over one shoulder. Her own blonde hair was placed in a high messy bun and she was shouting in her own language at someone still in the hall. A second later, Finland popped up next to Estonia, her outfit, again, scarily similar.

(If one was to ask America, which none of them did, she would say they looked like hipsters, but since no one asked her that day and ignored all her words because they were being mean, none of them got that.)

Finland’s blue plaid over-shirt was messed up, hanging off her shoulder, while her tank top slid up her stomach when she yawned, reaching for the cups of coffee in the Estonian’s hand, her own blonde hair just a mess down her back. She muttered something in her own language before moving down to slide next to Hungary, forcing the brunette nation into moving over. Estonia sighed and moved to sit next to both of them.

“Sorry.” Finland said sweetly as Estonia handed her a binder from her messenger bag.

England glared at them three before launching back into her speech, the words going over most of their heads. Giggling was heard from Finland, Sweden giving her lover a look every time the noise grew louder than a whisper, people turning to look at the three of them all throughout the meeting. Hungary or Estonia would elbow the girl which would shut her up for a little. Of course, Finland wasn’t the only  one making noises that were slightly interrupting; Estonia would make disagreeing noises with almost everything England said while Hungary snorted several times.

Thankfully, England hurried through her speech and they were allowed to have recess. If it hadn’t happened when it did, America was sure that the British nation would’ve thrown something at the three of them. As it was, she did storm out muttering about ‘those bloody wankers’. America slowly packed up, watching as Sweden approached Finland, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek while Denmark approached Estonia, wrapping her arms around the smaller nation and leaning her head on the her shoulders.

Hipsters in love, she decided. Right as the North American nation was going to leave though, she spotted Russia approaching the table of Baltic and Nordic nations. She slowed, wondering if she would have to get in between any problems that arose from it.

Russia said something and Estonia shook her head. “You can’t sit with us.”

America inched closer so she could hear what Russia was saying and caught the tail end of the sentence, “...people speak Mari.”

“Yeah,” Finland said, “But that’s not your official language and our lunches are for nations whose official language is Finno-Ugric, not some of my people speak it.”

“What about the Mordvinic?”

Hungary groaned, “Yeah, but your main language is part of the Balto-Slavic language and we’re Finno-Ugric.” She replied, “So...”

“You can’t join our squad.”

“Um.” Latvia frowned, looking a little confused, “What about us?”

“Different squads, different rules?” Estonia shrugged, patting the little nation on the head, “You’re like family.”

“I want to go to lunch with you three.”

The three of them responded by rolling their eyes. “Maybe next time, but right now, it’s time for the Finno-Ugric meeting to commence.”

Holy crap, America thought to herself, how drunk were they? She could guess they were out all last night, she had heard them stumbling in at four given that her room was on the same floor as Finland and Sweden’s, but how drunk could they have gotten to straight up tell Russia they couldn’t join them. Also, what even was their little group about anyway? Shrugging herself, she realized she’d have to do some research. She hated being left outside the loop.

Walking on, she ignored their conversation. Hipsters had invaded the nations, and thankfully, it hadn’t started with her. Though, she’d admit, those shorts were adorable.

A/N: They’re not being mean, they let Russia join them sometimes - very very rarely though - but Russia just doesn’t understand that she doesn’t meet the requirements. The Mordvinic and Mari are language groups that belong to the Finno-Ugric language group and spoken in Russia but are not widely spoken throughout all Russia and are not official languages and as such does not count to our three hipsters nations. Honestly, this was/is much longer but I wanted to release this part at least because the other part is still in work because that started being worked on later. My sister mentioned that she wanted to know what they had been doing the night before the meeting and why they were late, and while so I started an individual story for that and it’s spun out of control. That’ll be released sometime soon okay. 

Also this exsist in a world where all the nations are girls and I don’t know why so let’s all just accept it. 

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #4. (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: language arguments Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts Rating: General Warnings: denest mention, randomness

Sept 20th: Whatchu Say? Wednesday While related, these languages aren’t really mutually intelligible. Estonia and Finland have words that are false friends all over the place. And then Hungarian got influences from entirely different countries. Time to miscommunication! OR maybe bond over the few words they do all share.

A/N: So this is again based on something that I used to do, this time based during my Spanish classes I used to take. My teacher would have us repeat the word back to our partner to make sure we were all saying it right and so I thought, hmm, what would be a great way to represent this prompt so I wrote this and then was like oh wait does this prompt even fit with this dumb story and then was like, well it’s midnight and i have a midnight picnic to get to. Which are things okay that really are nice when it comes to driving out of the city and getting to see all the stars and everything.Anyway, translations at the bottom, hope you all enjoy!!

“Yksi.”

“Ei. Üks.”

“Nem. Egy.”

“Ei onnistu. Mikä sinua vaivaa?”

Elizaveta frowned, “Hey!” She pouted slightly before shaking her head. “Két.”

“Kaksi.”

“Kaks.”

A snicker from Denmark in the background had them all turning to glare at the onlookers. This was quickly becoming their form of arguing, where instead of any mean words being said, they would just repeat words or sentences that sounded different but similar – well would if they hadn’t chosen the gosh dang number system that Elizaveta hated very much. She turned back to the other two, watching as they gave the tall Nordic nation a certain look before coming back to the conversation.

“Sajnálom, ilyen vicces.” She said shrugging lightly.

Eduard gave her a deadpan look, “Ei ole.” He muttered. “Kolm.”

“Kolme.”

“Oh come now, Tino, an added ‘e’ is superfluous!” Eduard argued, “That ‘e’ is stupid.”

“Her’s is három – why am I getting yelled at?”

“That’s an affront as well and I’ll get to that, but did none of you learn from -”

Elizaveta cut him off, “You lose round one, Eduard.” She said laughing lightly. “And my language is fine. Pick another subject.”

Eduard rolled his eyes a little, huffing a little breath before nodding. “Vesi.”

“Vesi.”

“Víz.”

“Jää.”

“Jää.”

“Jég.”

Denmark interrupted again, “It’s literally almost midnight, I’m bored and hungry – not Hungary because that’s her – and Norge won’t let us eat the picnic stuff until we get to the spot.” His voice a heavy whine as he leaned against the table, grasping Estonia’s hand and giving him a pouting face. “Please.”

Estonia blushed, “Oh, hästi ... jah, okei.” He muttered before turning to the other two, “I forfeit. We can finish this some other time.”

“Tino, explain to Denmark he can’t play the boyfriend card!” Elizaveta huffed, “I’m the winner than, since I’m older.”

“You’re not older.”

“I’m older.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Ughhh.” Denmark dropped his head on the table while the other three Nordic nations groaned along in annoyance. The three of them were far too much together.

A/N: Like I said, midnight picnics are fun. My friend lives on a large plot of land due to her parents being farmers and so I really like going out into the fields and just throwing a blanket down and watching the stars. Most of the translations came from the Finnic Ugric swadesh list on wikipedia, some of the Estonian came from the youtuber, Little Miss Squirrel and the rest came from google translate and several websites explaining how the grammar in Hungarian is. If anything’s wrong, I am so sorry. 

Translations: Yksi. Üks. Egy - the number one. [Finnish, Estonian, Hungarian] Ei - No [Estonian] Nem - No [Hungarian] Ei onnistu. Mikä sinua vaivaa - no way, what’s wrong with you? [Finnish] Két. Kaksi. Kaks.- the number two [Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian] Sajnálom, ilyen vicces.- I’m sorry, that’s [it’s] funny. [Hungarian] Ei ole - Is not [Estonian] Kolm, kolme, három - the number three [Estonian, Finnish, Hungarian] vesi.vesi. víz. - water [Finnish, Estonian, Hungarian] jää. jää.jég.- ice [Estonian, Finnish, Hungarian] Oh, hästi ... jah, okei. - Oh, well... yes, okay. [Estonian]

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #3. (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: tiny terrors Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts Rating: General Warnings: deaging fic, two mentions of pru//can that can easily be ignored, one bit of mild bad language

Sept 19th: Tiny Terrors Tuesday

OK, Finland wasn’t so much of a tiny terror. However Magyars and Osealians show that Hungary and Estonia were very much terrors of their own childhoods. Maybe Estonia even dragging along his life long Finnish friend along for the ride? It’s time for some fearsome children! Or maybe some history bonding. You can throw a certain “awesome” person in there for some good old the enemy of my enemy is my friend for Estonia and Hungary.

A/N: I am so close to being late and I feel horrible. I spent so long editing this because present tense is not my strong suit but i really wanted to write in it at the moment. They’re deaged to being small, no mention of how or why, just it’s what happened, but because of that, I misgender Hungary. I put this back before Hungary realized she was a girl and so both Finland and Estonia thinks she’s a boy and as such, Eduard refers to her as their older male cousin in his thoughts. Translations at the bottom for the random little language bits I threw in for no reason but to. Also just imagine them speaking their own little joined language. 

“Wait, what are you saying?” Prussia can’t exactly hear the words that the Swede is saying, Berlitz is barking in the background, that stupid bear has somehow rambled into the kitchen and Gilbird won’t stop pulling at his hair with his beak. He sighs and shakes his head, dropping the phone back on the base, tired and too annoyed to try and figure out what he was being told. He’ll get yelled at about ruining relations after his little brother comes back from visiting Italy (the north one, not the mean south one), but that’s a problem for next week him, not today’s him.

Dropping his head on the nearest counter, he slowly counts to ten. He hears the softest rustle and immediately groans because knowing his luck, it’s Berlitz getting the other dogs of his brother’s to rebel on him for not being as good as his brother.

“TÁMADÁS!”

He lifts his head up, but not quick enough because he was bombarded by water balloons and dirt and the little plastic arrows that almost everyone’s old bosses had given them as children. “What the hell?” He asks, his red eyes widening in surprise at the sight of Hungary as a little child flanked by both Estonia and Finland. His face is set in a confused look, wondering how they all turned into children before common sense jumps on his brain and he runs out the back door.

“He’s on retreat,” Estonia says, his eyes bright as the blue orbs follow the Prussian out the large window door.

Finland, the ever so sweet Finland, frowns, “Are you sure it’s okay to be attacking him?” Even though he was the one shooting arrows at the former nation.

Hungary, the coolest nation in the world and their cousin, nods his head, “Yeah, he’s a bully anyway.”

“But we already attacked Tanska-”

“Taani deserved it.” Estonia answers, his voice determined. “Him and Rootsi are very mean.”

“We seem like the mean ones.” Finland mumbles as they move out the large window door and to the area they saw Prussia standing around with a group of dogs and a small box held up to his ear. He was cursing in a weirder form of his old language.

“What is he saying?” Hungary asks, his voice soft as they stare at him.

Estonia frowns, tilting his head and scrunching up his face. “I can’t understand him. It’s a bit understandable but most of what he’s saying is just cursing.”

Hungary inches forward, watching as Prussia pulls back a few more inches. “He’s calling in the calvary probably.” He knows it’s what he would do. “It’s time to attack and then move onto the Ottoman Empire!”

They run forward, Estonia with his small wooden sword and Hungary with his sword and Finland with his bow and they watch as Preisimaa screamed, pulling the dogs along and into the back building, slamming the dark heavy wooden door close. They stare at it, frowning before deciding to continue to attack until he gave in. They besieged the door – throwing clumps of dirt, hitting it with their swords and their hands and cursing, screaming and calling for war, until finally, Preisimaa ducked his head out.

“What do you three brats want?” He asks angrily.

Hungary looks at them, huddles them together and starts whispering. “Freedom? Control of the entire East?” He looks so happy as he speaks that both Finland and Estonia nods with him. He turns on his heel, his semi length pony tail swishing lightly as he did so and repeated his words. Preisimaa scowled, held up the little thing to his ear again and repeated his words in his weird German.

“Give up while you have the chance!” Estonia yells, tossing another dirk rock towards the glass. It shatters and Hungary gives a cheer.

“Fine, fine, you all can have your freedom and complete control of the eastern countries.” He finally relents, his voice a sharp growl. “Go away now.”

The trio throw a few more items, bragging in their various languages, Finland joining in as if he didn’t have any arguments towards their sieges earlier, before running off back into the house, knocking everything over and laughing and whooping as they ran out the door again, ready to fight the Ottoman Empire. They are completely ready for it.

Prussia waits several minutes before leaving the shed, cursing as he realizes he has to get the window fixed before his brother comes back. Sighing, he doesn’t even want to enter the rest of the house, but knowing he has to before Birdie got out of the shower. That is if he hadn’t gotten out already already.

“Your kids are being assholes.” He says into the phone, heading inside. The horror is worse than he thought and he wonders if he can get the Nordics to pay for everything. Thankfully though, he thinks as he moves through the house and towards the open front door, nothing really expensive is broken. “Also they’re headed towards Turkey and I don’t think he’ll be as nice as we were when they go siege his house.”

Sweden says something, says that Norway has the reversal spell and Prussia can hear Norway in the background calling him an idiot for letting them get away, but Prussia doesn’t care, not as he stares at the mess those little terrors made. Thankfully, they weren't all together back when they were younger, he thinks, if they were, things probably would’ve went differently. “One of you guys have to pay for the broken items in my house.” He adds after a moment, “Your terrors, your problem.”

A/N: I also want to say I <3 you person who runs the apheehub for such wonderful prompts and being such a sweetheart in your tags - honestly these little prompts help so much right now as I re-entering the fandom and I can’t wait until Saturday because I have a big surprise for that day. Anyway, her’s the translations: 

Preisimaa - Prussia [Estonian] Tanska - Denmark [Finnish] Taani - Denmark [Estonian] Rootsi - Sweden [Estonian] Támadás! - Attack [Hungarian]

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #1.  (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: the warmth of a home Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts  Rating: General Warnings: mentions of nudity  Pairings: Implied SuFin

Sept 17th: Springs, Saunas, and Spas Sunday

Relaxing is good for the soul, and these three love relaxing steam and water. Hungary is home to more than 1000 hot springs, and Estonia and Finland love their Saunas. All wonderful places to treat yourself to a spa day. Let’s have them bond while relaxing.

A/N: So all the little things mentioned in this are information i was able to gleam from several websites about sauna-ing since i’ve never been to a sauna and that kinda sucks. My information came from HERE and HERE. If anything’s wrong, i’m sorry I had my sister go over it but we’re both human so mistakes happen. Human and Nations names used because I’m a crap. 

Cold air hit her as she opened the driver’s door, sliding out of the driver’s seat of Eduard’s very nice car and into the snow that blanketed the floors of Tino’s home. Normally she tried to make sure that Tino’s days landed during the warmer months so that she wouldn’t have to suffer the blistering cold that was his winters, but this time vacation time landed her directly at what she often called Tino’s Santa Workshop.

Rushing she grabbed her bags from the backseat and almost ran to the front door, ignoring Eduard’s laughter. She knocked, once, twice, three times before she stood, moving her feet ever so slightly. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to the cold, it was just that she didn’t like it. There were memories that were associated with the cold that she didn’t particularly like.

“Finny!” She called as she listened to the stumbling that came from someone klutzy walking around a cluttered room – aka her sweet cousin. “Hurry I’m freezing my butt off!”

Eduard came up behind her, still laughing lightly as he stopped beside her. “It’s hardly that cold.” He said, dropping his bag on the porch. She copied his action and waited.

Tino ripped the door open, a smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around them. He always grabbed them like they hadn’t seen each other in years. He laughed as they hugged, separating after a second. “I’m so glad you guys are here!” He said cheerfully. “Su-san has taken Peter and Erland away so we can have a proper Finno-Ugric weekend.”

“’Away’?” She asked, frowning as she bent back down to pick up her suitcase and following Finland into the house. “That sounds weird.”

“He’s with Denmark, taking the kids to Legoland.” Tino answered. “Now go put your bags up and change. I’m getting the food ready to take into the sauna.”

Hungary gave him a small salute before making her way upstairs and to her bedroom, the one she often stayed in whenever she did come up here. Across the hall, Eduard placed his bag on the bed, grabbing the blue, white and black beach towel flag that she had given him for Christmas two years ago. She pulled out her own nation flag beach towel and moved off to the bathroom to strip.

She used to be really insecure about the idea of sitting naked in a sauna, despite the fact that some of her hot springs were clothing optional, but after a while of just visiting the saunas that littered her cousins home, she had quickly rid herself of that notion. Honestly, it felt refreshing – almost as refreshing as a dip in one of her hot springs.

Wrapping the beach towel around her upper body, she left, meeting up with Eduard in the hall. She gave him a smile and began to walk, her mouth moving. “It is so nice to be able to just leave all the political drama stuff behind, isn’t it?” She asked, not expecting an answer. “I mean, the last world meeting was a complete mess and it’s nice to be able to get away.”

“You’re telling me.” Estonia mumbled, pushing his glasses up. “Thanks to this get away I was able to cancel a meting I was supposed to have with Russia.”

They both gave a small shudder as they came to stop in the bright blue kitchen entryway, Tino walking around in a towel of his own. The smell of his homemade apple cider filled their nostrils as they stepped further, the stark white tiles warm against their bare feet. They both sighed, a happy noise as they moved to sit on the white bar stools that were neatly in a row next to the blue and white island.

“Please tell me I can have some of that right now?” She said, listening as Estonia added, “pretty please, Tino.”

Tino shook his head lightly, “You can have some when we’re in the sauna, right now drink a glass of water okay?” He pointed a wooden spoon at them, giving a them a parental look. They both laughed, Tino joining in a second later, before getting up and getting a drink of water.

After a full cup of water, they helped Tino carry the stuff out to the sauna, thankful that Sweden had been sweet enough to clear a path for them. The heat that met them as they entered the sauna was immediate, the difference between the cold air and the hot was the nicest feeling she had felt in a while. As cozy and warm as Tino’s house was, it could never compare to the feeling of a sauna – even if it felt like one sometimes.

“Ahh,” They sighed in tandem.

Hungary quickly made her way to the spot next to the wall, pulling her towel down and across the bench as she sat, her back against the wood of the sauna. She sunk low, letting the heat wash over her. Estonia took the other wall spot, repeating her process almost identically, stretching his legs out a little. Tino laughed at both of them as he took the spot directly in the middle, across from the kiuas, leaving the food stuffs on the cabinet that sat beside it.

With the door closed and the dim lights, she could feel her problems slipping away.

“So, gossip.” She said after a few minutes of silence, “Tino you first with your area of gossip.”

This was part of the fun, she thought as she listened to Tino speaking. They had started it shortly after she and Eduard had escaped Russia’s house. At first it had been a way for Tino to catch them up on all the information they had missed while being stuck in a house where only things Russia’s bosses wanted them to know got in, now it had turned into a sort of ritual. She laughed as she listened to Denmark’s failed plan to get Iceland to admit to being his younger brother and she laughed as she listened to how Tino had been roped in - “I miss the days when Eirikur used to call me big brother!” - her heart going out for that poor kid. She felt sorry that he was born in such an eccentric family but at the same time, she knew that he wouldn’t want anything but it.

She held out a hand as Tino started handing out the cider, her mouth wishing she could get the recipe for it. She and Eduard had tried multiple times to replicate Tino’s cider recipe but they had yet to be successful, often times creating different, but pretty well, tasting ciders that they then sold to the other nations.

As soon as they all had their drinks, Eduard launched into his own gossip, most of it being adorable. Latvia got a bunny last week, Lithuania and Poland started going out again, Romania – she growled at the name of her rival – and Bulgaria had both gotten pranked by Prussia – again she growled – and Ukraine and Belarus had went out for a nice dinner but it was ruined when they saw Russia and Ukraine had run away while Belarus had jumped up to talk to him. Little things that made her happy. She felt bad sometimes for sticking Eduard with the old Eastern bloc gossip, but she never truly felt like she belonged in that group.

As soon as he was finished – ha! Finished, Finnish – she started talking about what was up with the Western Europeans; the fight that took place between Greece and Turkey at the EU, the talk she had with France the week before today, the fact that she was sure that England and France had started dating, but she wasn’t exactly sure so she had bugged their individual houses - “Elizaveta!” Tino had scolded while Eduard laughed, but she just shrugged, she had money on the line! - and she talked about how she was sure that Netherlands was hitting on another nation, she just could not remember which one and…

They talked for at least an hour, Tino constantly throwing water on the stones and steaming up the sauna, before a timer buzzed and she felt a small rush.

Though she hated the cold, she loved throwing herself in the cold water and even didn’t fully mind the hitting herself with the birch thickets. It was a refreshing feeling after the heat. She whooped slightly as she jumped in the pond cleared by Sweden as well, the cold hitting her and waking her up. She jumped out quickly though, laughing along with Tino and Eduard as they followed her back towards the sauna.

She watched, shivering slightly as Tino smacked himself lightly, the scent of the birch leaves filling the air. She copied him and Eduard, running back to her spot in the sauna, laughing, her brown hair a wet mess sticking to her body.

“Okay, no more cold air until tomorrow.” She said, grabbing her warm cider and a little tin foil roll off the stove. Her beach towel became like a picnic blanket for her. Her food sat in front of her, safely out of the way of her dripping hair. She sipped her drink and listened, contributing to the conversation whenever she had something to add.

Hungary loved spending time with her cousins, they always managed to make her forget that her days leading up to their visits often sucked. The time they managed to snatch for each other during meetings could not compare to the time they had carved out of the year for each other. Those days spending time in a restaurant, eating lunch made by someone else could not compare to the times that they made each other food and sat wherever they current sat, talking and speaking about any and everything. She could swear sometimes that they were closer than cousins, more like siblings.

Ahh, yes, she decided as the moon took over the sky and they carried their stuff back to the house as quickly as they could, the cold bitter night air hitting them in a way that was not comfortable, they were more like siblings then cousins.

[queenofdenest]

Finno-Ugric Trio Week Fic #2.  (AKA the secretly badass trio)

Title: music shop rock Author: MementoMoriPontifexMorts  Rating: General Warnings: it’s a human au. 

Sept 18th: Metal Music Monday

Finland is a metalhead. It’s not hard picturing Hungary as one as well. And Estonia still has a strong metal scene too. Why not have them bonding over metal music or maybe making it as well? Or if metal is not for you, how about folk music or pop or Eurovision? It is a day to bond over music.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE. I debated over and over if I should add something to it because I felt like it was too short and then I got sidetracked reading a book and just Mondays, amirite? Anyway, human AU with these guys opening a music shop. It’s taken a bit from a real life situation with my sisters and I where we sat around insulting each others music taste in good humor during my birthday last year. It was just fun and honestly just something these cuties would do. Translations

“Did you put the on-sale records up front already? I can’t find them back here.” Tino asked, popping his head out of the stock room, the stark white headphone cord tangling around the door knob as he did so. He frowned at it, cursing slightly as he pulled them away, looking back up at the other two working in the front. They had several hours until they actually opened the music shop for it’s grand opening but they were all working as hard as they could.

Elizaveta, stocking the folk music on the far left side of the store, paused and turned towards the front, “I don’t think so.” She replied, her own green and red headphones already pulled off her ears. She was the only out of the three of them that didn’t blast music directly in her ears as she worked, instead preferring to have her headphones resting on her neck like a chain while the music played loudly. She turned towards Eduard and shook her head, wadding up a piece of paper and tossing it at him.

“Oh!” He turned sharply, pulling his bright blue headphones off his ears, the loud volume that the song was playing at audible to both of them. “What?”

“On-sale records, did you move them up front?” Eliza said, crossing her arms, “Tino can’t find them.”

Eduard sighed, “Behind the counter, we moved them at three am.

Oh, Tino thought as he left the stock room, moving across the storefront to the front counter, noticing the boxes of old school records. “Oops,” He said softly, Eliza coming up to rest her hands on the counter while Eduard gave them both looks.

“Honestly though, those should probably just be donated to a museum or something.” Eliza said, leaning over the counter a bit to read the names off the covers. “That music is so old, I think Prussia was still a country when it was created.”

“Quit it with your history.” Eduard said. Tino had to agree though, Eliza had been making mentions of countries and their history during their everyday life ever since she decided that a music major wasn’t enough and started taking a few history classes to get a bachelor's in generalized history – it wouldn’t have been that bad but they had all graduated college two years ago. “What even is in there though?”

The music in the box belonged to their individual parents, things that they had brought when they had told their parents – all together at a family get together – that they were going to go to open a music store during a time when music stores were becoming obsolete. They’re parents were decidedly not enthusiastic about it, but when it came time for it, they did pitch in by sharing old records that they were never going to use again. It was their sort of way of saying, sorry for making a fuss about it.

“Things hipsters are sure to buy.” Tino replied, pulling out records he recognized. “Aww, Äiti used to play this for me.”

Eduard and Eliza looked at the words – written in scrawled Finnish and slightly scuffed by age – and frowned. “Wow, nénike played Finnish metal music at you when you were a kid?” Elizaveta said, laughing slightly, “That explains your music taste.”

“Hey!” Tino frowned, “My music is fine, tell her Eduard.”

“Your music sucks, mine on the other hand is best.” Eduard deadpanned, looking at the record in slight horror. “Really, tädi Aino couldn’t have picked something better-”

“My music is great!” Tino argued, cutting into the words Eduard was saying. “Finnish metal music is great.”

“I’m not denying there are some really good songs-” Eliza started, giving Tino a sweet smile. “but Finnish metal music a lullaby does not make.”

“A real lullaby is -”

“You don’t get to talk about music, Mr. my-mother-sang-suisu-surma-poole-to-me-every-night-when-I-were-still-a-baby.” Eliza interrupted, leading Eduard to roll his eyes.

“You messed up pronunciation again.” He teased, the words coming out sing-songed.

“Doesn’t matter,” Tino said, “your lullaby is about death.”

“So is ‘rockabye baby’ and no one argues about that song being sung to kids!”

“Yes they do!” Eliza and Tino broke out laughing as they looked at each other, Eduard joining a second later. As their laughter died down, Elizaveta moved over and grabbed the records, putting the box up on the counter. They were taking their much needed break now – if only to insult the others music tastes.

Additional Author’s Note: Suisu surma poole is an Estonian lullaby that’s a bit awkward. Here’s what I read about it:  The song type “Sleep towards death” (Suisu surma poole), represented with13 texts in our material, creates an awkward atmosphere where the singer is as if waiting or wishing for the baby’s death. The song is quite known and widespread, but it is not clear what the context for its use was. <-- this is a link to a pdf on traditional Estonian lullabies.

Translations:  Äiti - Mom [Finnish] Nénike - aunt/auntie [Hungarian] Tädi - aunt/auntie [Estonian] Aino - Tino’s fiction mom in this. The name comes from the Kalevala epic and was one of the potential brides of Väinämöinen but ends up drowning herself instead of marrying him. She later returns as a salmon to taunt him. Depressing right? Though from what I researched, she might’ve ended up instead as a nix which is a water spirit.