#finnish music sounds so good to my ears

[loeewenzahn]

I purposely stayed away from a lot of finnish media in the past years because I knew how sexy the finnish language is and it wouldn't take much to tempt me to learn it. Fuckin hell, now I really want to learn it, I shouldn't have joined this fandom 😭

[puuta-heinaa]

Joker Out, Paris (Café de la danse) 22.3.2024

I arrived at the venue around 14ish, and was third to last in the EE queue. However queueing is part of the party! I exchanged sooo many bracelets and met amazing people, some of which I just met that day, some I knew from Discord or tumblr or earlier gigs, couldn't have been happier. Got selfies with Bojan and Jan?? Hug from Bojan??? HELLO. That would never happen in Finland. I described his hug as jämäkkä and turvallinen, which roughly translates to sturdy and safe.

Some of the bracelets I made for the concert!

Met someone in the queue who had hawk's eyes and who encouraged me to go and ask for a selfie with Jan, and later on she spotted Bojan on the street 100 m before everyone else did. I had a chance to give Bojan 3 2 ananaslonkero -bracelet that I'd made, with a tiny drink charm. If the main joke in fandoms is that a hug from your blorbo would cure you? well it's true. Getting a hug from Bojan removed some stiffness between my shoulder blades that I didn't even know was there. It was literally easier to breathe after the encounter. I also kept vigorously shaking for 3-5 minutes afterwards, so much that some people asked if I'm ok. Just released years worth of trauma ig. Also LOTS of happy hand stims throughout the day, my autism was showing lol.

Jan was outdoors SMOKING!!! And Bojan had charmingly dirty hair! He was taller than I had thought.

ANYways the gig !! I ended up on Jance side, which was nice as I was on Kris' side in Helsinki. Whole stage was about as wide as K-18 section at Kultsa, and I think they suit better on smaller stages.

We got Vem da Gres and Gola in soundcheck! I was wearing Vem da gres -bracelet that I got in Helsinki a few weeks ago and thought about that person for a few seconds!

Gola was ok. Bojan got disney mickey ears, and he was wearing my 3 2 ananaslonkero bracelet. Bojan also got a maca plushie that he was NOT scared of, he even made it fly.

Kris left the stage as soon as the last notes of Gola were over, other boys stayed jamming in accelerating speed for couple of more minutes. I showed them my UM sign that only read "I want to sing UMAZAN" at that point. :')

20h02 was ok, didn't connect with their music at all though. JC Stewart seemed a bit sick, but sounded good nevertheless. Finished my sign.

They started with Katrina and Bele Sanje, and people were singing even guitar riffs along. Dopamin hit like dopamine followed by Ne bi smel, Nace was staring at me several times during those songs.

Liinu's superb edit of staring sc Nace and struggling Kris and Arcti's edit about Jan's forgotten library books made my day

People were already singing along to Sta bih ja, and Bojan was sooo happy (and sweaty. We were all very sweaty, the concert hall was ridiculously warm.). Kris disappeared for a moment in the beginning of Sta bih ja, and Bojan looked like a lost puppy (wait, where is kris?? about 5-10 seconds into sta bih ja). Bojan said Kris didn't like how Jan played the riff and that's why he left the stage :P. Jan flipped a bird to him.

Decibels raised by about 20 when they played Ona and Demoni. Turns out they might be the easiest to sing along for absolutely everyone, not just for people who speak Finnish. Bojan looked me directly into eyes during second verse of Demoni for several seconds, and I felt so seen (in a good way). EE was definitely worth its price.

In Helsinki I felt like the setlist was over before it even started, but in Paris it felt more like we were really dancing and playing until the stars fade. I think it had something to do with how much they interacted with each other and with the public during each song. In Helsinki they seemed like they had forgotten how to be on stage, and there was just TOO MUCH SPACE, whereas Paris had Nordic Tour energy.

They all moved a LOT on stage!! Kris was on jance side several times! Nace had a mating dance thingy going on with Kris at least twice, Jan once. Jan interacted with the public on Kris's side a few times. Bojan almost run into Kris at one point - no wonder he caressed Kris's arm to let him know he's there before grapping his hips?? and dancing behind him??? during Behind those eyes. It's cafe de la danse after all.

Def thinking "THIS is how we'll trend on tumblr tonight" right after the famous dance

Everybody's waiting and soooooo many people raised hands when Bojan asked in his spiel before the song if anyone here suffers from panic or anxiety attacks, and I think it made everyone feel less alone. He sang I'm the problem it's me -line to make things a bit lighter before proceeding to the song.

We got Omamljeno Telo and I felt SOOOO HAPPY (but also sad for Moonu) but also SOOOO HAPPY it was on the setlist, I think I screamed VITTU JES on top of my lungs (manifesting it for Ruisrock huh). Famous water spray on Jan during OT, and it shows I've grown old, because instead of "yeeeess I want Bojan's spit on me" I went "rat disease, why am I not wearing a mask".

Everyone sang along during CD, not in French though even if there was a fanproject French translation published a whole 28 hours before(....). Plastika hit like a hammer once again, but I think I was already waiting and stressing for UM, so I didn't mosh for example. Which, good idea, because my neck was soooo sore after Helsinki.

Bojan announced the karaoke song, and asked which versions we have today. He saw my sign, asked "Slovenian version?", to which I "said" (from 4th row on Jan+Nace side) Finnish version, and he heard it and corrected himself and said perfect. I was not afraid at all even if I knew I'm probs going to sing in front of about 500 people in 5ish minutes???? How??? I'm usually a ball of anxiety but here I was just proud and excited to sing my version of it.

I loved the Bretogne/French version (I've still no idea what were the words, but it rhymed super well and she sang well, but that was def NOT paris region French), cringed at some of the "translations" because they did not fit the lines and did not rhyme, sang along to Slovenian versions in Finnish, felt bad for one of them as the karaoke singer started at the wrong moment and Bojan spent most of their special moment trying to orchestrate the band.

When Bojan approached with "I think we still have a Slovenian version, OH NO, A FINNISH VERSION" I chortled, and felt the last bits of nervousness disappear. (Cue "some boat, titanic, oh no".) I had my ACTUALLY finger pointing moment, which, on point with my personality, telling him it's a hybrid version. I don't know what he meant with SUOMI SAA, but it was NOT full-on Suomi SAATANA, that much is certain. I quite like the idea/interpretation he was making a pun with SAA(tan)Are you ready? But who knows. Sad about missed chance to answer "ArE YoU???" now that I think about it, but at least I wasn't the only one who failed the moment :') . Speaking of cursewords though, a histronic youngster next to me did shout vittu though! I loved my spot but she was super annoying throughout the evening.

The Finnish version is in the beginning of this one, and the Arabic version right after Finnish version is AMAZING. The French version is on the first part, as well as Bojan going "uuu Finnish version? perfect".

Started in Slovene, which made him have a Ok?? face, but when I switched to my own Finnish version that rhymes with the Slovene version, he raised his brows and seemed so impressed that I just nodded to him, sending telepath(et)ic messages that yes, our languages match and rhyme, about time you collaborate with Jere. I think he remembered I asked for a hug in the afternoon, because he did not hug everyone during karaoke. Afternoon hug was better btw.

I love his little surprised smile right when I finish the first Finnish line on this one

I usually think quite a lot about how other people perceive me, but now I didn't give a single fuck, just enjoyed being the main character for 20 seconds, having this interaction with my blorbo. Forever grateful for the 4 different angles I received from friends I made in the queue, and 1 from a random guy who asked me after the concert if I'd like to receive a video he took of me singing. Even Vita was filming the whole thing with her big light + camera + phone ensemble. I often sing in my car, and even IMAGINING i'm singing karaoke makes my voice suddenly tiny and weak and compressed, so I'm overflowingly glad it went this well, you have no idea even if I've just bragged about it for 4 paragraphs.

I later realised I was the only one who didn't hold the mic themself, this is a clear example how I objectify the boys, seeing Bojan just as a mic stand.🫣😵‍💫

I got fluent Kiitos from Bojan, that guy needs to move to Finland he speaks Finnish so well. Also LMAO I forgot to sniff him in the afternoon, now I'm praying the snifff I took after karaoke wasn't too evident and doesn't show on Vita's video……….. Jere is wrong, Bojan does not smell like shit, but there were no parfume smell either? He just smells like nothing in a pleasant, pheromone rich way lol.

my translation: Sanje so tvojega okusa Aamuihin taas tuoksusi Neula ei haarukassa Sieluni on hukassa Etsimäss�� tietään luoksesi

I haven't figured how to translate the first line. I've been playing with "Makus' on tarrannut uniini", but it does not rhyme with the og well enough. Otherwise super proud of my version. Neula and haarukka are parts of compass, basically saying the compass is layed on the map the wrong way. 🧭

This is how small the place was??? I was in 3/4th row, and the hat guy in the right corner was right behind me during the concert so the club truly was tiny.

Apparently bubbles were not allowed on stage in Cafe de la danse? But some people had brought their own so we had bubbles anyway.

Jure exchanged his drumstick to a breadstick. I laughed because a) it was a clever pun and b) such a stereotypically French thing to bring a BAGUETTE wrapped in a napkin to a concert. Also no wonder boys are always sick, I don't even want to know how many people touched that bread before it was on stage.

Life is pain (in mouths)

We waited for the boys after the concert outside the venue in the rain, and they walked past quite quickly. Bojan stayed for 30 seconds to take a group selfie. <3

Honestly so happy I traveled there and met amazing people and surpassed myself on so many levels.

I feel like 2004 again, because that's when I last made a post this long on livejournal and also when I last was this hyped about a group.

I loved band's AMAZING OUTFITS in Café de la danse, everyone had some idrija lace on them, and I'm afraid my next special interest will be bobbin lace.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Ccommd IV 2002 IDM / Abstract

Continuing this foray into the now-ancient, pre-social media days of online music community building with this highly ephemeral, half-decent IDM comp from 2002 that was made by the message board denizens of the website of Warp Records. Warp itself had long carried the torch of being the world's premier IDM label, and the folks who contributed to this album seem to have been highly inspired by a bunch of their own acts, like Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, Autechre, Boards of Canada, and a whole bunch of others.

And knowing that these musicians loved Warp to the point that they'd be regular contributors to its own message board kinda makes me feel that, while listening to this, I am myself someone at the label who's constantly seeking out fresh talent and wades through neverending, enormous piles of demos that they've received. And I've just happened to pop this Ccommd IV CD into my changer to see if anything might catch my ear 🤞.

Except, in reality, I didn't actually find this one on CD, because apparently, virtually no one can. It's not currently for sale on Discogs, it's never been sold there, and only 4 users on the site claim to own a copy right now. Super rare!

But thankfully, although it's been long out of print, the UK-based collective that was responsible for putting it out originally, TEFOSAV (The Electronic Foundation of Sound and Vision) records, has made it available on their own Bandcamp site for free, which is where I was able to come across it 👍.

So what we have here in the fourth installment of this Warp-inspired series, as is probably somewhat average for someone who gets tasked with listening to demos, is a comp with a good deal of half-baked clunk on it and a few nice gems too. The album hits back-to-back with Sktbx's "Wikal - Butcheredcetacea Mix" and Orange Dust's "Bitmap Sunset," both of which should have you feeling like you've come across a pretty sweet, nearly-lost-to-the-y2k-Internet-sands-of-time IDM goldmine. But most of what then follows that beginning turns out to be pretty underwhelming 😔.

That is until the grand finale, with Autofire's "Boots Akid (Nautilus Remix)," which is one of those songs that specializes in the art of splicing together multiple split-second samples of various bits of sound in order to construct melodies and rhythms out of them. I especially love when people do this type of stuff because I feel like it's such a meticulous process to make these collages in the first place, and it also happens to throw up a big middle finger and shit-eating-grin to the absurd copyright police, who can't sue you if the provenance of the minuscule bit that you've sampled is actually unknowable 😁. That said, though, I'm pretty sure I can hear the distinct voice of a very prominent TV character in this one. Not gonna give it away for fear that some big, evil, corporate web scraper comes across this post and files a cease-and-desist and/or lawsuit because of me—these posts show up in Google searches, folks!—but I'm pretty sure I'm hearing that voice. And Nautilis, by the way (yes, I know, I spelled it as Nautilus before, because that's how it was written on the tracklist!), had already made his first release on Mike Paradinas' (µ-Ziq) Planet Mu label the year before this album itself was released.

So, I had a feeling that I knew what I was getting myself into with this from jump, because most comps of this type aren't likely to consistently knock it out of the park, but given that fact, this album was still able to satisfy enough. So far, this little online y2k-era archaeology project of mine's been fun, even if a good portion of the music's ended up leaving a bit to be desired.

And for more posts like this one, check out Finnish label Luumu's Into the Core of Luumu and this double-disc that was made by folks from the ambient mailing list of pioneering online electronic music resource, Hyperreal, too ✌️.

Highlights:

Sktbx - "Wikal - Butcheredcetacea Mix" Orange Dust - "Bitmap Sunset" Pro(xy) - "D.C.K." Autofire - "Boots Akid (Nautilus Remix)"

[eurovision-del]

Finland have definitely become one to watch in recent years, so going into Eurovision season they were one of the countries I was most excited for! With UMK happening this weekend, here's my ranking of the competing songs:

Mikael Gabriel & Nublu – Vox populi

Sini Sabotage – Kuori mua

Jesse Markin – Glow

Cyan Kicks – Dancing With Demons

Sexmane – Mania

Sara Siipola – Paskana

Windows95man – No Rules!

Despite being just seven songs, this was a super hard selection to rank – honestly you could ask me tomorrow and I’d probably switch them around again. This is a very even competition in my eyes - every song is good in its own way and I enjoy them all, but there's no standout. I was in a weird position after my first listen through all these songs when they were released where I felt really positive about this selection, but then struggled to recall any individual song. A couple of weeks to get familiar with them all has definitely helped.

Right now, I think my favourite is Vox populi. It’s a super fun track, their style of Eurodance with the slightly rockier guitars and drums creates this fantastic energy – it’s great pump up music. It’s also pretty cool that it’s bilingual, with a rap verse each in Finnish and Estonian. In fact, we’ve got a fair amount of rap and hip-hop here which I love to see, since I feel they're genres that go underrepresented in Eurovision and national finals in general. Even better, they’re all very distinct from each other. Kuori mua is another rap track, but it couldn’t be any different, with the attitude it exudes and its super slick beat. I love the sharpness of it all, and how it mixes in the piano in the second half to create a more positive sound, lifting some of the tension but keeping all the energy.

The overall production level in all these songs is great – this whole selection is high quality and just sounds good to my ears. The one slight exception is No Rules, which I feel goes a bit too heavy on the fake eagle screeches, although it very much fits the overall tone of the song. This one slight annoyance, and the fact that I preferred Vox populi when it comes to Eurodance, was what made it end up at the bottom of my list, but I honestly feel bad about it – it’s still a very fun song and does what it’s doing  well. I didn’t want to rank any of these songs last!

Because the songs are so even, I couldn't even suggest what deserves to win this Saturday. It's going to all depend on performance for me. Finland are never going to do better than last year's Eurovision result, but UMK has honestly become one of the best national finals over the past few years, and I hope this is enough to keep up the qualification streak they're on.

[black-arcana]

BATTLE BEAST's NOORA LOUHIMO Says Health Scare 'Was A Good Wake-Up Call': 'I Really Appreciate Life More Now'

In a new interview with Argentina's Global Legends, BATTLE BEAST's Noora Louhimo opened up about her recent health scare. The 35-year-old Finnish singer revealed in November that she had been diagnosed with a ruptured left carotid artery, causing the postponement the band's tour.

"Well, definitely it scared me a lot, and other people as well," she told Global Legends about the diagnosis and how it has affected her life (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET). "And like the doctor said, this can happen to anyone. So if you are coughing too hard… I heard this example that there was a person who was coughing too much and both of the veins got ruptured. This can happen to anyone, but because I really want to — how do you say? — avoid having this again, I have definitely started doing more warm-up before any singing and warming down and taking care of my overall health even more than before. So, actually, the accident was also kind of — it was a good wake-up call for me, because even though I was already on a good path with the lifestyle and how to eat and how to do the sports and stuff like that. But still I noticed that there were some things that I need to concentrate more into and kind of put more effort. So this was actually a really good kind of wake-up call. And also I really — how do you say? — I really appreciate life more now. I'm thankful for each and every day and every moment that I get to live, I get to love, I get to see. I get to see people. I get to be with my loved ones and with my animals here at home. And now I get to tour in the places that I've always dreamed of. And it's not something that you should take [for] granted."

When Louhimo first revealed her diagnosis five months ago, she wrote on her social media: "I went to be examined because of a weird pain in the left side of my neck, throat, ear and chin. At ultrasound examination the doctor found the rupture that had already started healing, and he saved my life. I was hospitalized for more exams and finally got confirmation of the situation. I was ordered to have a break on everything that might stress or increase my blood pressure for the next month. Otherwise, I could have a stroke. As you know how passionate I am as a singer and performer, the blood pressure getting high is a guarantee. So, I did not want to take the risk to die with my boots on, not quite yet".

Louhimo joined BATTLE BEAST in 2012 with no previous experience as a metal vocalist but quickly acclimated herself as the replacement for Nitte Valo (a.k.a. Nitte Vänskä).

Less than two years ago, Noora, who in 2021 released her debut solo album, "Eternal Wheel Of Time And Space", under the NOORA LOUHIMO EXPERIENCE banner, admitted publicly that she had been struggling with eating disorders and her weight since she was "a little child" and said that she was "still trying to find a balance." She added that she had "been depressed and anxious sometimes 'without a reason'."

In an interview with Metal Divas, Noora explained how she ended up fronting BATTLE BEAST: "[In] September [2012], I got a call from [then-BATTLE BEAST guitarist] Anton [Kabanen] that they want me to join BATTLE BEAST. I had heard their music and loved the sound and the vocals, so the next day I called Anton and said I'm in.

"Anton found me by accident on YouTube when he was searching for the new vocalist," she continued. "He had been looking for a vocalist — male or female; [it did not] matter. The only thing that mattered was can that [he or she could] sing his songs without compromises.

"I've been singing since I was four years old," Noora added. "While being a huge fan of heavy metal of '80s and a teenager, I had some classical singing lessons when I was 16 years old. Then at the age of 19, I started studying music in pop/jazz line. At the same time, I started doing some jam sessions at bars. There I found my first band (ADMIRAL OCTOPUS) in the blues bar. We used to play rock and blues music from '60s-'70s and Janis Joplin was the reason I got the rasp in my voice. After ADMIRAL OCTOPUS, in 2011, I took part in a singing competition ('Wanna Be A Rock 'N' Roll Star') at Henry's Pub of Tampere and won it with Janis Joplin's 'Piece Of My Heart'. That's how my single 'Relax' was born."

Photo credit: Terhi Ylimainen

[badhockeymom]

I was tagged by @thejawsoffate thank you! I got the tag I-don't-know when but now I'm in the mood so :)

Last Song: I didn't put this on myself but sung happily along to Akun Tehdas by Eppu Normaali (one of my top 3 faves from them)

Last film: Olavi Virta

Currently watching: Nothing really, just occasional episodes of reality/lifestyle/music shows like Masked Singer Suomi, garden or house shows. Very non-fixated on stuff.

Currently reading: A novel in Finnish by Riikka Pulkkinen, I keep forgetting the title lol. Paras mahdollinen maailma? Sounds about right. It's driving me insane and not in a good way, it's well written but it's a little too-- clean and pretentious, the main character has TOO much of a main character syndrome, and the characters are all so... artistic or semi artistic, urban hyper european actors and academics and, uh, sipping wine and smoking cigarettes and pining and having poetic vanilla sex and dialogues that are like from witty plays or movies. But at the same time I want to know what happens. I listened the first half of it as an audio book and it worked better for me in that format, but then my app time expired and i got a physical copy from the library.

Current obsession: I'm not really obsessed with anything right now, my interests are kinda superficial and well in balance.

I wish I knew who to tag... hmm @violasmirabiles @vangoghs-other-ear @freya-deathstalker @nonametis and anyone who feels like doing this!

[anotherghoul666]

I think Half God Half Devil by In This Moment, and maayyyyybe Hardcore by Beast In Black? If I had to pick a Ghost song, Little Sunshine (you're a very comforting presence)

Such interesting choices!

In This Moment is one of these bands where I should like this, like, in theory is has a ton of elements I love, but when you put it all together, I don't like them at all. I've tried many times over the years and I just can't get into them. A decent part of this I know is Maria Brink's voice. She's an absolute vocal powerhouse, she is such an impressive vocal artist, her capabitility to emote and switch between vocal extremes is so solid, but man I just don't like the sound of her voice, it's so grating to my ears I can't sit through a song XD I recognize and respect In This Moment's influence and creativity as a band, but it's not my jam. Which, now that I think about it, is rather fitting cause "should love this in theory, can't love this in practice" is basically how I feel about myself XD Aaaah issues. I do enjoy the lyrics of Half God Half Devil, the duality of it, plus the sacrilegious vibes of the song and of In This Moment's visuals as a whole. We know they love to twist religious symbols and I am always here for some good ol' blasphemy. I can appreciate this choice!

Hardcore by Beast In Black I didn't know of so I went and check out the clip. And OH MY GOD when I tell you I DID NOT EXPECT FUCKING POWER METAL TO COME OUT OF THESE GUYS WITH THE LOOK OF THE INTRO OF THE VIDEO XD I laughed out loud when the intro synth riff kicked in cause this was just so unexpected and left field XD So I had a massive amount of fun with that video, but I just have to ask, what the fuck?? XD I was not expecting it to take such a turn, and the another turn which I liked better honestly xD But like. Wow. That's so euro, I loved every secong. Had these guys been around 12-13 years ago I would have been all over this shit. I was deep in my power metal / super melodic phase at that point and all my favorite bands were from Finland. And this song could not sound more Finnish if they tried xD I love it. Nowadays I don't connect with that vibe of music much anymore, it's too chipper for where I'm at, but it definitely brings back good memories of my power metal days.

Little Sunshine as my Ghost song is also interesting because it's one of my least favorite Ghost songs. Mostly it's because of a negative association with an ex-partner tho. I feel I have a visceral negative reaction to it (hearing it live version was different enough with the extra backing vocals it saved it from being a sore point in the show). With this lovely comment of yours I'll try to reframe my approach to it as being a song about a comforting presence instead! So thank you for potentially redeeming this song in my mind ❤️

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me these!

[vanillabeenflower]

I'm scared of looking at the replies/comments specifically because of my fear of psychic damage, so if anyone sees this tell me if I should be scared or not. Anyway here are some music recs, I put a rating to show how much I personally like them (I will put most of these under a page break):

Foreign & black music recs from my own likes:

Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha��(Finnish) ☆

I found out abt this from a cover by Caleb Hyles, but this song is a pretty good one, and it's apparently a Finnish song that got 2nd place in Eurovision 2023

girlfriend - hemlocke springs ☆☆☆

I found this song incidentally and I wasn't expecting to like it so much. The song feels very homemade and fun to listen to, it has a nice tempo, and it's much easier on the ears than most of my music lol

BUTCHER VANITY - Vane Lily (Chinese) ☆☆☆

BUTCHER VANITY BUTCHER VANITY BUTCHER VANITY BUTCHER VA

Tuned In Freestyle - Megan Thee Stallion ☆☆

Obvious warning b/c it's meg.

Super Shy - NewJeans (Korean) ☆☆

Most of this video isn't the actual song but it starts around 0:41

Outside the Box - Snoop Dogg ☆☆☆

A (from my knowledge) lesser known song by him

Mesmerizer - Satsuki/32ki (Japanese) ☆☆

I found this song only a few days ago and it's GREAT, there's also a lot of details in the video that you'll mostly likely find on your 2nd watch

How You Like That - BLACKPINK (Korean) ☆☆

listen, this song is great idc what anybody says

Welcome to Kitty City - Cyriak (British) ☆☆☆

I won't lie, this song is one of my favorites because of how circus-like it sounds. I often hum to it (which is hard to imagine w/ a song like this but at least pretend you get it)

With Them - Young Thug ☆☆

I found this from a meme

i hate this sites music taste so much its literally Racism The Music Taste site. you guys dont like rap you dont like jazz you dont like country you dont like blues you dont like ska you dont like reggae you cannot CONCEPTUALIZE listening to foreign artists you dont even know what turbofolk is you cant conceive of music existing out of anglosphere you think that mcr is punk and its the end-all of definition of "punk" for you i hate everyone here like WHAT music do you people even listen to what the fuck is left

[rpf-bat]

Thunderstorm with Joel/Niko?

Here you go! It wound up being 795 words. ⛈

Niko’s eyes snapped open. At first, he wasn’t sure what had woken him.

Then, he heard it - another clap of thunder. The rain was pounding on the windowpane, in the corner of his hotel room.

He sat up in bed, and glanced at the bed to his left. He’d been paired up with Joel tonight, and he wasn’t surprised to find the other vocalist awake.

What did surprise him, was that Joel had his hands pressed tightly over his ears. He had his hood over his head, and his eyes were shut tight. He appeared to be shaking.

“Joel?” Niko called out, flicking on the lamp on the bedside table. “You alright, man?”

Joel’s blue eyes opened when he heard his name. Another clap of thunder boomed outside, and he jumped.

“What….What do you want, Niko?!” Joel cried, clearly frantic.

“Dude…are you scared of the thunderstorm?” Niko asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“N-No,” Joel mumbled. It was an obvious lie.

“Then why are you fucking trembling?” Niko demanded, as lightning streaked outside their window.

“Don’t make fun of me!” Joel snapped.

“I wasn’t going to make fun of you?” Niko blinked.

“When I went to hockey camp i-in middle school,” Joel stammered, “I cried when there was a thunderstorm, and all the other guys laughed at me.”

“Joel, you’re twenty-nine,” Niko sighed. “You can’t stay upset about things that happened when you were fifteen forever. But…I got bullied in middle school, too, you know. I wouldn’t do that to someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel apologized, pulling the hood off his head, so he could see the other man better. “I just…I know it’s a stupid thing to be afraid of. We’re in here. The storm’s out there. But it’s so loud, and…”

“Where are your AirPods?” Niko interrupted. “Couldn’t you just listen to music, to drown out the sound?”

“I think I lost my AirPods at the last venue,” Joel confessed.

“What?!” Niko snapped. “Joel, you need to be more careful with your stuff. Those are going to be really expensive to replace!”

“I know, okay?” Joel sighed. “Please don’t yell at me…”

“I’m sorry,” Niko said, his tone softening. “This wasn’t the right time for me to be the angry CEO. Right now, I want to help you. Why don’t we turn the TV on?”

“I had thought about turning it on earlier, as a distraction,” Joel admitted. “But, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Well, I’m awake now,” Niko shrugged. He got up out of bed, and grabbed the remote. “Let’s see what’s on.”

He remembered, too late, that they were in fucking Spain, and that all of the television programs here were in Spanish. No matter how many channels he clicked through, he couldn’t find any English broadcasts. And here in Barcelona, they certainly weren’t going to find any TV shows in Finnish.

“Just give up,” Joel sighed. “Turn it off. It’s fine.”

But as soon as Niko turned the TV off, another thunderclap boomed. Joel dove under the covers, covering his head with a pillow, to try and block out the sound.

“You’re not fine,” Niko sighed tiredly, as he went and sat down on Joel’s bed. “But I don’t know what else to do.”

Joel sat up to look at Niko.

“Just go lay back down in your own bed, and go to sleep,” Joel suggested.

“I don’t want to,” Niko insisted. “It’s clear that you’re still freaked out, so I don’t want to just abandon you…”

BOOM.

Thunder struck again, and suddenly Joel jumped, flinging himself forward, into Niko’s arms.

It was an impulsive action - purely instinct - but now all of a sudden he was cowering against Niko’s chest.

“I’m sorry!” Joel yelped, when he realized what he had done. “I’ll move!”

“You don’t have to,” Niko whispered, pulling Joel closer. “Sssh. It’s okay.”

He started absentmindedly stroking Joel’s blonde hair, while the taller man’s face was buried in the fabric of his shirt.

He didn’t want to admit it, but having his arms wrapped around Joel felt good. The problem was, that it almost felt too good - it was tempting him to do something he shouldn’t.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Joel asked, picking his head up. “It’s helping, but I don’t want to bother you…”

“It’s more than okay,” Niko assured him. Impulsively, he leaned down, and connected his lips with Joel’s.

Why did I do that? he thought. Fuck…

But then he realized, that Joel wasn’t fighting it. In fact, Joel was kissing him back.

There was another loud sound outside, but this time, Joel didn’t shake. He was so caught up, in the feeling of Niko’s lips on his mouth, that he almost seemed to not notice the thunder at all.

[eurotastic]

Eurovision Reviews: Semi final 2 2022

1: Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel

Sending The Rasmus is the most finnish thing Finland could possibly do - after getting fantastic results last year with an imitation of 2002 rock music, now they're sending the real thing. I love how dedicated Finland is to rock music, this song slaps, and I really hope they get good results.

8/10

2: Israel: Michael Ben David - I.M

He's the gayest man in Tel Aviv and I love him for it. The lyrics are just a mishmash of Rupaul's drag race catchphrases, except for that one line about middle east sex appeal, that one's new. I know this isn't strong enough for the competition but I think it's so much fun.

6/10

3: Serbia: Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano

I have to be honest, at first, I really disliked the Meghan Markle namedrop at the very beginning of the song. Sure, it grabs your attention, but the reference feels instantly dated, in a way that works against the rest of the song, which feels timeless yet undeniably modern. Despite this one problem, I have come to really love this song, it's truly unique, both in sound and lyrical content. Konstrakta comes across as less of a singer and more as a genius performance artist.

8/10

4: Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade To Black

It's Azerbaijan going back to their usual schtick - A competent song sung by a competent singer, with competent staging, there's probably a couple of competent Swedish songwriters in there somewhere. It's fine, I don't hate it but it's so hard to get excited about it. It goes into one ear and out of the other. Cute staging though.

5/10

5: Georgia: Circus Mircus - Lock Me In

I love it when Georgia gets weird. I heard a rumor that they are going to have an actual puppet show on stage, and if that's true, I'm going to lose my mind, this entire band is a weird acid trip. Also, I'm really glad to see Nika Kocharov in Eurovision again, he represented Georgia in 2016 with, Midnight Gold, which is probably the most underrated Eurovision song in recent memory as well as one of my personal favorites.

8/10

6: Malta: Emma Muscat - I Am What I Am

Who is this for? No, really, who is going to feel inspired by this? It sounds like pop music for really religious kids who aren't allowed to listen to real pop music.

2/10

7: San Marino: Achille Lauro - Stripper

There's a gay Italian cowboy stripper riding a mechanical bull surrounded by nuclear grade pyrotechnic explosions, who cares about the song? Jokes aside, this song was in my top 10 even before I saw the staging - It's a fun rock song that doesn't take itself too seriously, and sometimes that's all you need.

10/10

8: Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not the Same

I'm not a big fan of self-empowerment songs that sound sad and tragic, and I can't find a single positive emotion in this song, it's all misery and desperation. His voice is incredible, his stage costume is absolutely beautiful, but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel listening to the song. I should probably be moved to tears, but I have no idea if it's supposed to be happy or sad tears, so it ends up being neither.

5/10

9: Cyprus: Andromache - Ela

The Greek language is so beautiful to me - I have really missed hearing it in Eurovision over the past few years. The song sounds the way being on a Mediterranean island vacation feels.

7/10

10: Ireland: Brooke Scullion - That's Rich

It's like if Michelle from Derry Girls tried to be a popstar, so that's fun. It's pretty ironic that a song called "That's rich" sounds so cheap.

6/10

11: North Macedonia: Andrea - Circles

This song is just nothing. It goes on and on and on for what feels like three hours, and absolutely nothing happens.

2/10

12: Estonia: Stefan - Hope

It's Avicii's cowboy era with some added Morricone inspiration - the production sounds flawless. I can't understand a word he's saying though, I think he's slurring his words to sound more like a cowboy.

Also, I'm sad that we won't get to see the intended staging for this - the desert landscape would have been exactly what this song needed, but I guess we're getting a black hole instead.

7/10

13: Romania: WRS - Llámame

It feels like something from Eurovision 2009, even though the song is pretty modern. I really like it, it's pure eurovision camp, but it's a little bit mediocre.

6/10

14: Poland: Ochman - River

He has the best vocals of the year, hands down. They have definitely taken some inspiration from Gjon's Tears - I get it, he won last year's jury vote so it's probably a smart move. It's really modern and beautifully produced, but the songwriting is just good, not great. His vocals are making the song sound a lot bigger than it actually is.

8/10

15: Montenegro: Vladana - Breathe

I wish it wasn't in English, because I wish I could unhear these lyrics. It tries so hard to be important and dramatic, but it just falls flat.

2/10

16: Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You

I like how we're getting this one song that feels like American rnb - there is room for that in Eurovision! With that said, it's pretty forgettable, and I'm worried about his live vocals.

5/10

17: Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer

I think this is Sweden's best song since Euphoria, and it's the most genuinely emotional song Sweden has sent in my lifetime. There's zero artifice, but it's still an expertly written pop song. I love the perfectly imperfect vocals, they're not for everyone, but it feels great to get something potentially polarizing from Sweden, just this one time. It's the authentic Swedish indie pop that fans have been asking for for years, and it deserves all the hype it gets. It's the right song at the right time, pun intended.

10/10

18: Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off

This song is doing everything right - the production is great, the staging is exciting, the song is catchy - but I keep forgetting that it exists. I can remember how it goes, but I can't remember that it's in the competition. I like it, don't get me wrong, but I can't call it a favorite.

6/10

[loeewenzahn]

So I finally decided to rank the UMK songs. None of them stood out phenomenally but they grew on me after a few listens. I had a really hard time ranking these

Sexmane - Mania: It’s a strong song, I could listen to it on loop. I love his voice and how the meaning is mirrored in the intensity and desperation of the music and singing. I can’t get enough of it. Extra points for Finnish language. I wish this could go places in Eurovision but unfortunately I can’t see this in the contest. But the ranking is not about that. This is by far my fave

Jesse Markin – Glow: I would have placed this way lower when I first listened to it because it sounds a bit more bland at first glance, but it’s because it’s a bit more subdued than the other songs. The artistry is in the details. I actually quite like his voice and the rap flow. The chorus sounds like a few songs I’ve heard before, not that original to my ears unfortunately. There are some unconventionally pronounced verses and words as well as some dissonance within the melody which add to the vibe.

Sara Siipola – Paskana: I LOOOOOVE her voice so much! Same as with Glow, I like the verse on this one more than the chorus, which doesn’t feel that unique musically, unfortunately. It falls a bit flat for me because of that and leaves me a bit more disappointed than I want to be. Powerful lyrics, also +1 for Finnish language.

Cyan Kicks – Dancing with Demons: The genre is very much up my alley and I couldn’t get the song out of my head after I first heard it. I just wish they’d left a bit more grit in the song. I’m not MAD mad at the pop-ification of it, but it makes it less memorable to me. Sadly the song faded a bit for me as time went on.

Windowsman95 – No Rules: The song that screams Eurovision to me! For a parody/joke/fun entry it’s surprisingly good!! I don’t know what it is but the composition feels a bit flat to me at points I think.. or rather the transitions between different parts of the song? Can’t put my finger on it. I also can’t say no to hairy sexy thighs and a good amount of homoeroticism. I put it that low because I can’t see myself listening to it on loop, it gets a bit tiring and repetitive. Also -1 for only English

Sini Sabotage: I love her presence and sass, I could look at and listen to her all day. I don’t mind the song, but it’s nothing groundbreaking. Unfortunately, I don’t like the lyrics and it cheapens the song for me, there’s just nothing clever about it imo. Nothing wrong with singing about food and sex, I just don’t think it’s well done. It has meme potential though. I saw someone’s comment along the lines of ‘if they light the piano on stage I will vote sini’ and I can agree with that

Mikael Gabriel x nublu - Vox Populi: It pains me a bit to put this last, but what I heard of this guy through the grapevine just confirms the unease I had about the lyrics from the start. I love this musically and I want to put this higher because of the Estonian and Finnish, but I can’t. I hate the lyrics. Vox Populi – ‘we are the voice of the people’ yet you don’t really say anything and what you say could be some really misguided take on politics. It’s just not that clever and doesn’t tell me anything. This song disappointed me the most.

Now don't ask me how I think they will do at the competition, I have no clue. But I imagine it could be a tight race between a few songs. I'm curious to see how all the artists are live tho. I think I would love to see Windowsman95 & Cyan Kicks at Eurovision, but literally any of the songs could surprise with a banger live performance.

[dustedmagazine]

The Old Normal: Derek Taylor 2021

2021 marked my twenty-third-year writing about music. Across the avocation, I have taken hiatuses. One must, I think, to remain engaged, inspired and hopefully, relevant. Late September signaled another sabbatical and the good ship Dusted sailed on without my association. Reviewing for this publication and being part of its community of writers for the past two decades has been a pleasure and a privilege. It is a pursuit that I plan to resume in earnest in early-2022.

In the meantime, here is an annual tradition of trawling through the vast musical treasures released over the past twelve-months to construct a semblance of a list of those that sound elevated to these ears. There is so much in the world designed to deaden, diminish, and deter one’s faculties, but artists and the music they create past, present, and future continue to persevere and endear. Despite the tenacious primacy placed on self-interest in this country, we are still all in this together.

Wadada Leo Smith

Doyen Wadada Leo Smith was steadfast in celebrating his ascension to octogenarian early, opting to embrace the entirety of the year through a series of opulent and edifying releases on the Finnish TUM label. The pandemic pushed back, delaying several until after his December 18th birthday. The titles in the world as of this writing are all nigh essential, including the three-disc solo, Trumpet, the mix-and-match Sacred Ceremonies with Milford Graves and Bill Laswell, The Chicago Symphonies, conceived and scored for his all-star Great Lakes Quartets, and A Love Sonnet for Billie Holiday, which enlists pianist Vijay Iyer and drummer Jack DeJohnette in an album-length paean to the star-crossed chanteuse. The remaining titles are thankfully set to drop in February.

Joe McPhee

McPhee has an invariable and inviolable place on this list, year-end, year out. The passing of his brother Charlie in June 2020 was the biggest blow that year, but he kept a busy release schedule into the next across a variety of projects including the sensibly solo Route 84 Quarantine Blues and a handful of exciting ensemble ventures, among them: Flow Trio’s Winter Garden (ESP), the Blue Reality Quartet with Michael Marcus, Jay Rosen and Warren Smith, and The Sweet Spot, aptly titled in its assemblage of McPhee, Fred Lonberg-Holm, Michael Bisio and Juma Sultan, who turns 80 in April and appears to still be going strong.

Julius Hemphill — The Boye Multi-National Crusade for Harmony (New World)

Physical box sets are still plentiful and popular these days; this one managed to easily match the ask of its exorbitant price with the copious riches of its contents. Curated by the late Hemphill’s erstwhile student Marty Ehrlich, it is an “inside baseball” survey of the maestro’s work from the invaluable perspective of previously unreleased recordings. Vintage duets with musical soulmate and cello wunderkind Abdul Wadud? Check. String ensemble reimaginings of Charles Mingus compositions? Check. The list goes on, and Hemphill shines with scintillating consistency in every context, whether he is playing notes or not.

John Coltrane — Love Supreme Live in Seattle (Impulse)

It is hard not to harbor ill will towards the late Joe Brazil, who sat on the tape source that yielded this release for 43-years and subsequently left hungry listeners the world over in the dark as to its treasures. Yes, the balance is suspect, preserving Elvin Jones’ drums in stentorian clarity while recessing Coltrane to something of a muted, off-mic guest on his own gig. And yes, it is sidemen McCoy Tyner and Pharoah Sanders who subjectively shine most brightly in their respective solo features. But this is still very much a late-period Coltrane concert and one of plum circumstance and topical focus. The titular devotional suite receives a singularly expansive reading, one steeped in energy music extrapolations that set it starkly apart from both its earlier studio and Antibes renditions. Essential listening.

Stephen Riley

Another regular in these end of annum assessments, Riley’s now my depending-on-the-day favorite under-fifty saxophonist, simply because he aged out of the under-forty bracket. I Remember You astutely teams him with an old teacher, guitarist Vic Juris, who lamentably passed away several weeks post-session. Original Mind is similarly incandescent in its capture of a duo concert with pianist Ernest Turner at a Canadian patron’s home. Both deliver on the deep listening, colloquial improvisation that is not as common as it should be given the immense possibilities such intimate engagement accords.

James Brandon Lewis

Science no longer carries the pervasive cachet in public consciousness that it once did. Lewis’ music exists as an exhilarating rejoinder to this depressing directional turn. Inspired and shaped by the intricacies of molecular biology, his working quartet with pianist Auran Ortiz, bassist Brad Jones, and drummer Chad Taylor is proudly egghead on their sophomore album, Code of Being (Intakt), completely sidestepping pretentiousness for an abiding soulfulness and improvisational cooperation. Jesup Wagon (Tao Forms), is a sister project in that regard, working from a broader palette trading piano for cornet, cello, guembri and mbira in aural homage to African American scientist/inventor George Washington Carver.

Cecil Taylor

Taylor’s been gone almost four-years, but the archival wing of his discography is still yielding riches. Lifting the Bandstand (Listening Foundation) applies attention to a dynamic quartet as diverse in membership as it was in sound. Göttingen and Music for Two Continents – Live at Jazz Jamboree ’84 (Fundacja Sluchaj) feature two large ensembles: the first a sprawling variation on Taylor’s workshop venture, the second an iteration of his Euro-American orchestra bolstered by the heavy horn firepower of Frank Wright, Enrico Rava Tomaz Stanko. Corona (Corbett vs. Dempsey) frames a 1996 reunion duo with Sunny Murray with vocal choir while Live in Ruvo di Puglia 2000 (Enja) unearths a solo first set from a momentous concert with the massive Italian Instabile Orchestra. The master’s legacy lives.

Haasan Ibn Ali

A half-century’s worth of whispers and rumors finally came true this year with the release of two archival repositories returning pianist Haasan Ibn Ali to the limelight. Metaphysics dusts off his long-thought-lost quartet session for the Atlantic label with a twenty-something Odean Pope bringing Philly tenor heat. Retrospect in Retirement of Delay takes a deep and welcome dive into the solo side of Ali’s ivories-gilded expression through an extended program of standards and originals. Both are essential post-bop documents, indicative of a fiercely original improvisor who died tragically absent his due.

Fresh Sound

Strange that the most consistently satisfying jazz reissue label is this Spanish one that operates largely independent of stateside copyright considerations and still manages to produce product that frequently puts its domestic counterparts to pasture. This year signaled the launch of another series, “Rare and Obscure Jazz Albums,” which is absolute truth in advertising, returning seminal sides by the likes of reedist John La Porta and the Sandole Brothers (older sibling Dennis, a teacher of Coltrane) to circulation in two-fer form. Bassist Vinnie Burke, guitarists Jimmy Gourley and Arv Garrison, vibraphonist Bobby Montez, and pianist John Dennis (a contemporary of Haasan Ibn Ali) received similar regal treatment through their regular reissue line.

NoBusiness

This Lithuanian label is similarly persistent and dependable in its mission of balancing new free jazz and improvisation releases with impeccably curated archival editions. Most ambitious on their docket this year, Joel Futterman’s Creation Series: five densely packed discs of solo performances by the improvising pianist, doubling sparingly on curved soprano saxophone and creating arrestingly involving worlds of sound. Undulation, a fifth entry in the ongoing Sam Rivers archival series, documents a regrettably truncated fusion-infused tributary of his discography, while the Chap Chap series, revitalizing the work of key Japanese and Korean improvisers, highlights historical performances by saxophonist Mototeru Takagi and brassman Itaru Oki.

Ezz-thetics

A passing of torch in remastering engineers from the prolifically nonpareil Peter Pfister to the so-far worthy Michael Brandli, did little to decelerate the latest iteration of producer Werner Uehlinger’s Hat Hut label. The purview is still a balance of new recordings of creative improvised music and modern classical proponents and carefully refurbished and curated combinations of classic free jazz sessions from labels like ESP, Impulse and Fontana. Vocal detractors may question the legality and ethics of retooling these sacred texts, but there is no denying the proof of the enhanced fidelity on projects like New York Eye and Ear Control and Celebrating Bird at one hundred, the latter which adds further luster to iconic concert and studio sides by centenarian Charlie Parker.

Ches Smith’s We All Break — Path of Seven Colors (Pyroclastic)

Ches Smith had a cultural appropriation problem. Certain audience members started attributing the Vodou rhythms laced inventively through his music as his own creations. The drummer addressed the erroneously assumed authorship head on, forming a band with the Haitian musicians who had inspired him. This handsome, but still economical, box documents two of the ensemble’s iterations separated by a span of a half-decade and the outcome is one of the finest cross-cultural collaborations of improvised music in recent memory. Smith’s kit is a frequent fulcrum, but the singers and percussionists that surround him in both settings are on equal, if not more prominent footing in the figurative and literal dances that ensue. Everybody wins.

Natural Information Society with Evan Parker — descension (Out of Our Constrictions) (Eremite)

Originally released on vinyl, but beyond my scope in that format for reasons noted below, the CD edition of this double album as licensed by Eremite to the Aguirre label brought the music into my orbit and it has never really been absent since. Josh Abrams first assembled the ensemble back in 2010 and like the “ecstatic minimalism” it espouses, there’s malleability to both instrumentation and direction that feels simultaneously deeply organic and mesmerizingly optimistic. Recorded at London’s Café Oto in the summer of 2019, the concert finds Evan Parker augmenting the core instrumentation of harmonium, drums, bass clarinet and Abrams’ anchoring guembri. It is an inspired addition, as the saxophonist mostly sheds his usual acerbic accoutrements for a sonorously sustained euphoniousness that’s utterly disarming.

Joni Mitchell Archives, Vol. 2 (Rhino/Warner Bros.)

More of Joni as I tend to dig her most. Just a guitar or piano within reach and a repertoire threaded with both originals and folk covers that serves as a means of reciprocal satisfaction between her and audience(s). This second dispatch from singer/songwriter’s dusted-off and voluminous archives leans more to the former stripe. Delicate pathos and winding turns of veiled phrase and phrasing are still populous and personal no matter their sourcing. Fidelity is expectedly variable, but surprisingly listenable across the coffee house stages, TV and radio studios, living rooms and Carnegie Hall. Joni is vulnerably and venturously Joni throughout.

Baligh Hamd — Instrumental Modal Pop of 70s Egypt (Sublime Frequencies)

An invaluable hour-long survey of one of the undisputed innovators of Egyptian orchestral pop music, this assiduously assembled compilation still only scratches the surface of Hamdi’s vast discography. Similar to Salah Ragab in his openness to Western music forms and instruments as additives to a fundamentally Arabic musical foundation, Hamdi’s reach was wider, deeper, and more prolific. The sides gathered, sourced from 1970s albums, revel in intricate quarter-tone constructions and grand ensemble gestures that also benefit from the presence of ace instrumentalists like guitarist Omar Khorshid, organist Magdi al-Husseini, and accordionist Faruq Salama to interpret them. It is the kind of keenly programmed teaser disc that begs for an expansive box set follow-up.

Pastor TL Barrett & the Youth for Christ Choir (Numero)

A Chicago spiritual staple, Pastor TL Barrett recognized that rolling with the idiomatic changes instigated by soul music and proactively involving youth in his vibrant Southside ministry were crucial strategies in successfully spreading the gospel. Barrett recorded a string of albums in the 1970s that are optimal candidates for the royal Numero Group treatment. This CD edition gathering four of the finest of them along with a fifth disc of extras is an effective antidote to the “exorbitantly-priced vinyl blues.” The music is keenly indicative of that contemporaneous “Trojan Horse” tactic of cloaking religious teachings in musical trappings popular with secular circles to create a supercharged alloy equally appealing to audiences suited to both Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings.

Smokey Hogg — The Texas Blues of… (Ace)

Texan Smokey Hogg left a lot to be desired as an accommodating bandleader. Ruled by an idiosyncratic rhythmic compass that rivaled the likes of Jenks “Tex” Carman or John Lee Hooker, he often left his sideman struggling to conventionally accompany him. Keeping up with and catering to his quixotic whims just came with the gig. This compilation, the fifth from the UK Ace imprint, captures more of the weirdly satisfying gestalt Hogg was miraculously able to maintain much of the time. His vocals and guitar spill and slosh over valiant, often futile, backing and somehow stay compelling through a confluence of swagger and ad-lib invention. Solo sides confirm the scrupulous method undergirding his outward-facing arbitrariness. File under music ill-suited for fence-sitters.

V/A — Shake the Foundations: Militant Funk & the Post Punk Dancefloor, 1978-1984 (Cherry Red)

The UK-based Cherry Red imprint has cobbled a cottage industry out of curatorial box sets that also serve as enlightening aural textbooks around musical genres and idioms. This three-disc set applies a research lens to a loosely defined species of funk-influenced post punk that sprang up in British clubs at the cusp of the 1970s. Backbeats and corpulent, rolling bass lines abound, vying with jangly guitars, staccato synths and the occasional compact horn section to express attitude and anomie without sacrificing the vital supremacy of epic grooves. Simple Minds, Jah Wobble, Vicious Pink, Furniture, Perfect Zebras and forty-four other bands get single track opportunities to impart their parts in shaping the scene.

Dollar Vinyl

It is a not-so-secret secret that I have lived nearly the entirety of my adult life without a turntable. That has not precluded the procurement of vinyl, but it has necessitated playing it on borrowed equipment. The reasons behind the admittedly odd abstention fall to spatial considerations and spousal appeasement, but my wife signaled a sea change when she reversed past proclamations and gifted me a record player for my 50th birthday. Since then, it has been self-determined limitations of selectivity and a preference for dollar-priced vinyl with specific priority placed on vintage belly-dancing and Hawaiian/country steel guitar recordings. The specimen below is an especially enjoyable envoy from the first category and made all the better by the presence of a surf-meets-Anatolia guitarist in the accompanying band who arguably was on a steady diet of Omar Khorshid albums at the time.

Unleash the Archers

As a writer who professes a wide purview when it comes to ingesting music, I can still be stubbornly parochial towards certain genres. This is true of metal, where dabbling in unfamiliar bands is something done only rarely and sparingly. Unleash the Archers came to my attention during a lapse in defenses. Initially chafed by their sci-fi-meets-sorcery bombast and theatrics, these traits, amplified through unabashed earnestness that feels gloriously grounded in their British Columbian roots, are now aspects I unreservedly adore. Iron Maiden and Queensryche are indelible antecedents, but Brittany Slayes’ stratospheric pipes, twining melody-musclebound guitars, a Spinal Tap-style, revolving bass chair, and the math-meets-meteorological event that is often Scott Buchanan’s properly pummeled cans make for a reliably engrossing, fist-pumping, power metal result.

Twenty-five more in loosely stochastic order:

Roscoe Mitchell & Mike Reed - Ritual & the Dance (Astral Spirits)

JD Allen – Queen City (Savant)

Nicole Mitchell/ Tomeka Reid/ Mike Reed – Then There’s This (Astral Spirits)

Ben Goldberg – Everything Happens to Be (Bag Productions)

Roscoe Mitchell/ Sandy Ewen/ Damon Smith/ Weasel Walter – A Railroad Spike Forms the Voice (ugEXPLODE)

Claire Chase – Density 2036 (Corbett vs. Dempsey)

Jamie Branch – Fly or Die Live (International Anthem)

Lee Morgan – Complete Live at the Lighthouse (Blue Note)

Roy Brooks – Understanding (Reel to Real)

Ray Russell – Forget to Remember, Live Vol. 2 1970 (Jazz in Britain)

Sun Ra – Lanquidity (Philly Jazz/Strut)

Lloyd McNeil – Tori (Baobab/Soul Jazz)

JR Monterose – JR is Alive in Amsterdam (HSM/Ultra Vybe)

Spontaneous Music Ensemble – Question & Answer 1966 (Rhythm & Blues)

Juju – Live at 131 Prince Street (Black Fire/Strut)

Don Cherry – The Summer House Sessions (Blank Forms)

V/A – Zanzibara 10: First Modern Taarab Vibes from Mombasa & Tanga 1970 – 1990 (Buda Musique)

V/A – Edo Funk Explosion, Vol. 1 (Analog Africa)

V/A – Habibi Funk Vol. 2: An Eclectic Selection of Music from the Arab World (Habibi Funk)

Costantinos Kostas Bezos – Jail’s a Fine School (Mississippi)

Bad Brains – Rock for Light, Original 1983 Mix (ORG)

Keith Hudson – The Black Breast Has Produced Her Best, Flesh of My Skin, Blood of My Blood (Mamba/VP)

Neil Young – Way Down in the Rust Bucket (Reprise)

Reverend Robert Ballinger feat. Willie Dixon – King’s Highway (Bear Family)

Waylon Jennings – Singer of Sad Songs/ The Taker & Tulsa/ Good Hearted Woman/ Ladies Love Outlaws (RCA/Morello)

[randomwriteronline]

The trees were very small. Which was weird, because they were pine trees, and last time Eska checked he could not tower on pine trees by just standing. The treetops were a few inches beneath his chin, and  he had no clue where he was.

A small voice reached his ears: “Hey, you up there!”

His back scrounched as he bent between the pine needles to greet whoever had called him.

A little man dressed in green, with a large wide hat, a big backpack, a strangely shaped nose and a relaxed look in his eyes looked up at him: “Say, is it dawn yet?” he asked nicely.

Holy shit, Eska thought. That’s Snufkin from the Moomins.

“Hm.” he nodded.

“I should probably hurry up then,” Snufkin from the Moomins said, “My good friend Moomin is waiting for me. He misses me a lot during the winter, you know.”

“I know.” Eska replied.

“Oh? Have you already been to Moominvalley then?”

“No. Tiny brother told me.”

“How nice of him. My sister Little My is probably already at Moominhouse by now - she quite likes to stay over.”

“I know.”

“Well then! I better be off, Moominvalley is a long way from here. It was nice meeting a giant for the first time. Have a good day!”

As he started leaving Eska hummed a whine to keep the little creature around for a moment more, and Snufkin turned towards him again.

The factotum fiddled with his overalls a moment: "Can I come too?" he finally asked, gravely voice rumbling through the trees.

"I can't see why not." Snufkin replied. "But you'll have to walk slowly, as my legs are much shorter than yours."

"Have an idea," Eska offered.

He grabbed the little man carefully, with both hands, and raised him into the air so that he could sit on the skeletal shoulder. The Snufkin wiggled his arms about for a moment before regaining his balance, and held tight onto the worn fabric and brown hair so that he would not fall.

"This is a good idea indeed," the little one concluded as he watched the horizon from above the treetops. "With your long steps we'll arrive in no time. There, I can almost see the river to Moominhouse already!"

Following the direction the little finger was pointing towards and taking care not to accidentally destroy any pine tree on his way, Eska began walking.

It wasn’t long before the blue building appeared on the newly green backdrop of seemingly endless pastures, and from the distance it looked just like a well-crafted wooden toy he himself might have sculpted. It  brought him a strange sense of familiarity, as if he had been coming over for years, always at this time. It was nothing like recognizing something from the cartoon or a commercial: it was like walking back home, or slinking through the vents, or curling on the couch; it was like thinking ‘this is the place: this is where I am and where I like to be, and I am right where I should be when I come back here’.

The Moomins did have that effect on people.

On Tove Jansson’s characters more often.

Was he a Tove Jansson’s character? Probably not (because he didn’t have paws or tails or lovely weird Finnish names), but he wouldn’t have minded if he was. He liked them a lot. It would have been fun to live in Moominvalley. He just had to hope Mymble Jr didn’t fall in love with him, or that would have been a sad deal for her, poor thing. Otherwise it would have been fun.

“Do you mind music?” Snufkin asked, fetching his harmonica.

The answer was a grunt that sounded like ‘no’.

“Good! I would have played regardless, since the weather is good for a song this morning. Maybe Moomin will hear it as well and come to meet us.”

Moomintroll running out to see a just returned Snufkin would have had to brace himself, Eska thought while the Mumrik played a ditty and the distance between them and their destination shortened and shortened, because he highly doubted the little white thing would have expected to see a lanky skeleton bear about the size of his house. Would he have freaked out? Usually people freaked out even when he wasn’t the size of a two story house. Hopefully he wouldn’t. He would have liked to touch a Moomin. They seemed really soft. Maybe if Moomin didn’t freak out he would have held him in his hand.

The harmonica sang near his ear, and he hummed softly in tune, shaking the earth beneath him.

By the time they stopped at the bridge that led to the blue house a little round snout had already appeared from the tallest window, disappeared from it, and darted as fast as it could on its little white legs to greet them.

So Moomintroll didn’t freak out. Or if he did he was very good at hiding it.

“Snufkin!” he called very loudly. Snufkin waved at him and began climbing down on his own; eager not to see the little anarchist splat on the ground by accident Eska got a hold of him and crouched horrendously into a vaguely box-shaped squat, making the green clad lad land safely on the fresh grass.

The troll hugged his friend dearly, overjoyed: “I’m so glad to see you!”

“I’m glad to see you too,” the other replied, calmer yet just as giddy.

Moomin’s attention turned to the placid gigantic corpse still sitting by them and basking in their friendship: “Is this a friend you met on your travels?” he asked, a little intimidated.

“You could say that, I guess,” Snufkin replied: “He was in the forest around the valley, just standing between the trees, and he asked if he could come to Moominhouse with me. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not really, but I wonder what Mamma and Pappa will think.”

“Oh, there’s nothing to worry about. He doesn’t look like he’s one to cause trouble - and he’s rather quiet anyways. I even forgot to ask for his name.”

“Eska.” the factotum rumbled helpfully, making the ground under himself shake from the vibrations of his voice.

Moomintroll offered him a careful paw: “I’m Moomin,” he said. “And this is Snufkin - if he didn’t tell you before.”

Eska shook it with his finger: its palm was the softest of things. ”I know.”

“Would you like some breakfast? Mamma makes pancakes at this hour. They might be a little small for you, though.”

“ ‘s fine.”

Eska laid across the river like a gargantuan lizard and pulled his legs back inside his ribcage once he was no longer suspended over running water; Snufkin and Moomin just used the bridge, because they were of a reasonable size and not as long as an Aztec feathered serpent god.

“What is that?” a tiny voice that seemed like it should have come out of a rachitic old lady asked.

“Hello Little My,” Snufkin greeted back. “That is an Eska.”

The little bastard that was his half-sister ran on her little legs all the way to the factotum’s hand and looked at him up and down, as if evaluating him. If he had grabbed her she might have disappeared in the folds of his palm, but also she would have bit him bloody, so he just let her do  her thing.

“You don’t look like much!” Little My grinned at him, ignoring the human skull-shaped mask on his face.

“You look like Tiny Brother,” Eska replied, ignoring how Thaische looked nothing like the young Mymble.

“I’ll go ask Mamma if she can make some langer pancakes for you,” Moomin distracted him briefly, thus allowing Little My to start climbing all over him. “Please don’t mind Little My. She’s a menace.”

“I know.”

“And don’t try to crush her,” Snufkin added as he followed the troll inside: “It’s very much useless.”

“I know.”

By the time the two came back outside with their plates and Moomin’s curious parents in tow, Little My had tried to poke his eyes out twice, scavenged all of his pockets, slipped into his bib thrice, and almost gotten lost within his hair.

When he had fished her out of it she had asked: “Why do you have so much, anyways?”

“Keeps warm,” he had answered, and she had immediately tried to drown in it again like a little mischievous weasel.

Moominpappa looked at him with a hand under his snout: “What a curious thing you are,” he said pensively, “I’ve never seen such a creature before.”

That was a common thought for people to have when looking at Eska.

Moominmamma handed him a carrier tray full of very small flat circles:  “I’m afraid none of my pans were big enough to make larger ones,” she apologized nicely, “I hope you will still enjoy them.”

He would have picked up the whole tray and slammed the whole thing in his mouth in one go, inedible parts included, but the object was probably the only one the Moomins had. So he picked the minuscule pancakes one by one and nibbled onto each individual one.

They were so good.

“They’re not very filling, I’m afraid,” Moominmamma continued, blissfully dragging around a trembling Sniff trying to hide behind her with his long ears held so far back that they seemed to join on his nape.

Eska gave a long purr that gently shook the entirety of Moominhouse: “ ‘s fine,” he rumbled delighted while his hands began kneading dough on his knees.

His knees seemed much softer... Their texture like that of a duvet.

The air was warm, warmer than spring.

A not necessarily large paw slapped his face.

Ah, he thought with a sigh as he dived into the clicking mass of grey and white fur that was Søppel while she pestered him to be fed.

He felt around for the coffe table where his mask was sitting to slip it on his face, stretched his horrendously long limbs out of his big warm blanket, and slowly emerged with a loud murp. While the opossum wrapped around his neck, an unspecified amount of lizards climbed all over his skeletal frame and into his hair (it was getting so much longer already, he would have needed to trim them again) and little Burkāns snuggled against his side really hard so that he would pick her up. Luna Gealach yelled a goodmorning at him before perching on his head and alerting the whole house by screaming some more.

Perhaps it was the hooded crow’s wails that was stunning him stupid, perhaps the fact that he was already holding a bandicoot in one arm; either way, as soon as Thaische appeared before him to go have breakfast, he swooped them up in a one-armed hug, rumbling for LG to quiet it down (which she did afterwards) and stumbling towards the kitchen like a very strange chimera.

Thaische did not object to the treatment.

“Dr’m’d ‘bout Moom’ns,” he mumbled to his little sibling, who hummed in reply. “W’s big ‘s Moom’nho’s’. ‘n’ Sn’fkin tal’ed t’ me, ‘n’ I tho’t, holy sh’t, ‘s Sn’fkin from th’ Moom’ns. ‘n’ ate... P’ncak’s.”

“Make those.” Thaische said.

“Hm-hm.”

Eska settled down the whole zoo at the table (only exception being Søppel, who permanently resided around his neck at any and all times), leaned his head forward until it was sustained by the wall, and got to making pancakes.

He was about a dozen in when Kim appeared with his hair undone, which meant practically blinded by his own curls.

“You didn’t have to...” his father mumbled.

“Dream’d ab’t Moomins,” Eska replied without stopping. “Snufkin took me to eat p’ncak’s at Moominho’se. There w’re Moomin an’ Little My too.”

“Did she look like me?” Thaische asked.

“She did.”

Kim yawned out a sigh, dark hand covering his mouth because politeness is one hell of a habit to break: “Sounds like a good dream...”

Big corpse pale arms wrapped around his middle, and his wife’s forehead rammed itself right into his ribs as she wasn’t nearly tall enough to reach his scapula. He held  her back as lovingly as their half-asleep state allowed him while she grumbled some kind of affectionate greeting to her adopted sons.

“Met the Moomins tonight,” her oldest repeated while mindlessly keeping on making hordes of breakfast disks.

Niamh’s face peeked from behind her husband: “I think they were the lizards crawling in yer duvet,” she asserted sleepily.

“Met in dream,” Eska rectified. “Snufkin took me to eat pancakes. Am making them now.”

“Ah... I’m glad ye had fun,” his mother opened her eyes fully and looked at the stack of soft round sweets he was readying. She counted thirty-six of them as the vaguely humanoid creature finally came to a stop.

Ah, fuck it.

Saturday breakfast can be insane.

As a treat.

[poodlejoonas]

Joonas - A Hero’s Welcome

For @bcfanweek​ Day 3: Joonas Porko

Words: 1,431

Description: You meet the band at the airport, and you decide that you and Joonas need a date night in. 

Notes: Joonas Porko/Reader (gender unspecified)

You stood in the airport arrivals terminal, watching the flight data tick onto the screen. The boys were going to be home any time now, and you were itching to see Joonas again. Your shared bed was far too empty for it to be comfortable. It was an absolute joy to watch him live it up on TV, but now you were ready to have him back.

You knew just how much it meant to Joonas, and the rest of the band, to have the opportunity to perform for such a large international audience. They’d been itching to go back on stage since the beginning of the pandemic, and their song was bad ass on top of it all. He called you once a day to update you on all the crazy things that had been happening in Rotterdam. He seemed to be having a good time, and there was nothing you wanted more than the chance to go with him. But thanks to COVID, you stayed home and watched the contest on TV, cheering for them every time they were on screen.

You kept the house comfortable for Joonas for his big return home. You knew that he would be undoubtedly exhausted, but you kept a trick or two up your sleeve. The entire place was spotless and his favorite comfort blanket had been washed and dried that morning. It wasn’t much, but it was a nice treat for him.

No surprise, but you were not the only one eager to greet the band at the airport. Several fans lined up on the side, and there were newspaper cameras everywhere. You could barely see the entrance, but you knew when they walked in by the commotion blowing up.

Niko, always the hype man, riled them up with his hands the same way he did during their performance of Dark Side. Joel followed next, running through with a little bit of a bounce in his step. You patiently waited until you could see Joonas, who greeted the waiting crowd but looked around for you. A smile lit up on his face when he could see your hand waving above the crowd.

Until he could join you, he gave a few answers to some on-the-spot interview questions. They greeted the crowd, who soon dispersed and went their separate ways. You waited at Starbucks, sipping your iced coffee and guarding Joonas’ drink. You were so deep into your phone that you barely noticed him walking up and nearly knocking you over in a hug.

“I missed you so much, kulta,” he shouted, probably because he thought he wasn’t loud enough through his mask. The rest of the group followed him while he sipped his drink and thanked you kindly for ordering it for him.

“Thank God you’re here, he refused to shut the hell up about seeing you again,” Joel said with a laugh. They’ve been friends long enough for you to know that there was nothing but teasing behind that statement.

You gathered your things and followed them out of the airport. Joonas grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers in yours, and began swinging your arms with glee. He’s an affectionate man, but you didn’t realize that he was this attached to you. Either he wanted cuddles or sex, and you knew that you were in for a long night regardless of the option. 

Everyone began to pile in their separate cars and discuss plans for meeting again in the studio on Tuesday morning. You silently complained; such a long week behind them, and they couldn’t even take a break to recover? But it was understandable that there was so much energy to follow up on, and none of it should have been wasted.

You cranked up your car as he opened the door, still talking to Joel who chatted on and on about their studio plans. You wanted to get him home so you could begin your stay-in date night together.

Finally, he closed his door and returned his attention to you. With a smile on his face, he cupped your face with both hands and gave you a soft kiss. “I really did miss you, so much. How have things been at the house?”

The airport traffic died down a bit, just long enough to get you safely on the road. “Lonely, no surprise,” you laughed. “But I have a couple surprises for you to make it nice and cozy.”

Joonas smiled and looked out the window. “I can’t wait. I had just started getting homesick.”

“Even through all of that partying?”

“Yes, even then.” It looked like Joonas had an amazing time with his boys, but you couldn’t be happier to have him back.

You arrived home after a short drive through light traffic. You offered to help Joonas take his bags inside, but he adamantly refused, insisting on doing it all himself. He rushed inside and you smiled, eager to see his reaction. 

He dropped his bags and took a deep breath. “It smells great in here,” he commented. “Did you do something different?”

“I cleaned the whole place. It wasn’t bad, but I thought you’d like that it feels fresher in here.” You also lit some lavender and vanilla candles to leave a fresh, comforting smell for both of you to relax.

Without another word, he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. “It’s lovely, thank you so much.”

He made his way towards your shared bedroom, where another surprise awaited him. While he was away, you decided to treat yourself to a day at the mall. There, you found two pairs of fleece pajamas - one in your favorite color for yourself, and one in black for him. The fabric was impossibly soft and relatively inexpensive for their quality. You decided it would be perfect for a lazy night in.

Joonas picked up the bundled pajamas and ran his fingers over them with a smile. “Matching pajamas, really?” he said with a laugh, but he gratefully scooped you up in a hug. He ran off to take a shower, and while he was away, you placed a delivery order for a pizza and sat down in the living room. You barely even noticed Joonas was finished with his shower until he came springing into the room with his new pajamas on. They were a little smaller on him than you thought, but the few tight spots hugged his body adorably. 

You went to take a shower yourself so you could be clean and matching together. He waited patiently in the living room and smiled from ear to ear when you came back. “How do I look?” you asked him, to which he only replied with a chef’s-kiss motion.

The only thoughts on your mind right now were pizza, a double-feature movie night, and cuddles with Joonas. Once the pizza arrived, you started with his movie choice, Captain America: Civil War. Normally he would love to babble on about trivia on his favorite movies, but he was too preoccupied with his half of the pizza to say anything. His movie finished and you took a 15 minute break before starting the next one.

You chose a classic musical-comedy from the 1930s, a much different beat from a recent action flick. It took place on a cross-Atlantic cruise from Italy, about two aspiring opera singers in love and three madcap opera house employees who help them get into their first show in America. You were lucky enough to find a version of it with accurate Finnish subtitles for Joonas because even you thought the 30s slang was sometimes hard to understand. 

This time, popcorn and hot cocoa were involved. Joonas was in the middle of a sip when he coughed some of it up laughing at a joke in the movie. “I’m okay!” he managed to mutter, checking to be sure that he didn’t spill cocoa on his new pajamas.

“Be careful, love!” Once his cocoa situation was over, he sat back and buried his head on your shoulder. One hand mindlessly went up to his hair to play with his curls that were finally dried from his shower earlier. Joonas has such a beautiful head of hair, and you hoped that he would never cut it again.

“Kulta, keep playing with my hair like that and I might fall asleep.” He sounded half-asleep already. Even if he fell asleep during your movie choice, you understood why. He worked so hard last week, and he deserved all the rest and relaxation he could get.

Endnotes:

In case anyone’s curious, the second movie mentioned is A Night at the Opera (1935), starring the Marx Brothers. I picked it because it was the first movie that came to mind and I know almost every word to it.

[lilallama]

hello! i reaaaaally really reaaalllllyyyy love your writing! I'd like to know how both clubs would react to their beloved texting them? it could be anything you want! I trust your creative mind:D i hope you're doing well~(´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

[Thank you so much, cinnamon bun ❤ that makes me really happy ^^. I'm doing very good, I hope you do too. Hobis picture didn't fit on here (TT), so I will post it by itself. 💕🍑]

Hoseok

The young boy layed on his silk sheets, on his four thousand dollar mahogany bed, while drowning in the sounds of his best friend. On his phone he kept repeatedly playing the recordings of their calls. Hearing their voice felt like heaven to him, if he could he'd make them talk forever just so he could dwell in the sound of their voice. Suddenly his euphoria was interrupted by a notification.

Y/n 💕

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He sat up and put on his glasses. Yes, it really was Y/n. Although they consider him a best friend, Hoseok still cannot stop his heart from racing in his chest. He quickly typed an answer and jumped up to send them a picture of his finnished work.

Seokjin

With his soft black hair pulled back my a fluffy, pink headband and him wearing an evenly fluffy but white bathrobe, he sat in his private bathroom and applied his expensive skincare products. He hummed and sang a bit [I love you, Y/n~] before being interrupted by his phone notifying him that he got a message.

Prince/ss 👑

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He immediately threw his fifty dollar "protection and hydration, for a longer lasting youthful look" cream away and hurried to type back. Why should his love have to do homework, when he'll have one of his butlers do it for them. Silly Y/n.

Yoongi

The newest Rap music blasting in his ears, Yoongi hugged a photo of Y/n, his gorgeous [not yet] lover, to his chest. He dispises most of the new music. It's all money, sex and parties, none of which has anything to do with him. He's an anti social virgin, who has to work two part time jobs to be able to provide for himself and his alcoholic mother. But in that moment he didn't care. The sobs escaping his mouth got interrupted by a notification, no one ever texts him.

Angel 🎶

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

His red, watery eyes widen. They actually wrote him. They noticed little, boring him. Without thinking he typed a response and made his way to give them what they asked for.

Namjoon

The sound of a pen scraping against paper, leavibg behing dark blue, inky lines that are formed into neat writings. As student council president, Namjoon made sure to set an example to everyone. Diligent, devoted, intelligent, responsible Namjoon. Just as the last sentence was brought to an end, a notification popped up on his phone. He was going to ignore the message, but then spotted the name of the sender.

Darling ❤

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

His pen rolled out of his hand and hit the polished floor of his room. His love just texted him. They asked for his help! Is he dreaming? He must be. Oh, how he longed for such a moment. He can finally be useful to his darling.

Jimin

The music came to a stop and so did Jimin. He pushed his pink hair out of his sweaty face, while whiping some of the sweat away with his already soaked shirt. The white fabric sticking uncomfortably to his body as he tried to catch his breath. After all there's no time for breaks, he has to impress his baby with his skills! But before he could start the music again, his phone buzzed in his backpack. He walked across the practice room with an annoyed look on his face.

Baby 🥰

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Jimins vision went hazy for a second and he lost balance. Now on the floor, he still stared at the message. His face flushed even more than before while thinking about their cute face, distraught at having forgotten the homework. He smiled and took a picture of him winking, making sure to take it so they could see his sweaty shirt, stuck to his back in the mirror. He'll send you it once he gets home, until then how about you talk for a bit?

Taehyung

The artistic boy kept his eyes on the canvas before him. His apron had multiple dried up colour stains, while fresh paint coated his fingertips. Some of the paint got smushed on his face as he brushed his bangs aside, while sone of the paint also got stuck in his locks as he tied them into a small bun. He stepped back, the painted face of his love smiling back at him made him break out into a lovestruck boxy grin. But then his phone buzzed and his smile immediately disappeared.

God/dess 🌹

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

With his mouth slightly agape, his almond eyes stared at the slightly stained screen. Was he imagining things, was his god/goddess really giving him the chance to serve them. After a few seconds he snapped out of it and hurried to grab his homework.

Jeongguk

In the dark of the night, Jeongguk slouched through the streets. He just got in a fight, boxed the guy so hard that he broke his nose, arm and maybe a rib, just to leave that pathetic, shaking pile of shit whimpering on the ground. As the streetlights softly shone down on him, illuminating his face, he received a message.

Spouse 💍

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He stopped in his tracks. A cold wind surrounded him, messing up his hair even more. A bright smile appeared on his face, revealing his bunny like teeth. After jumping around and twirling once or twice he stopped to reply. He couldn't repress the laugh that escaped his dry throat. Now he only has to hurry home!

Jennie

She was feasting with her parents at the gisnt dinner table, but they completely disregarded her existence, only having eyes for each other. She chuckled and cleared her throat, catching her parents attention who bashfully laughed along with her. Jennies parents are exactly how she wishes her future marriage to be. They started talking when her phone notified her of a message.

Y/nie 😘

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Before her mother could scold her on her lack of etiquette, she squealed in a high pitched note, that her Y/n just texted her. Of course, her parents knew about you as well as her feelings for you, they were the exact same when they were younger. They sighed lovingly and huddled together while their daughter excitedly texted her love.

Jisoo

Just a few minutes ago, she was busy going through all her Y/n pictures that have she took these past months [5732, not counting her digital copies]. She was just brushing her silky black hair when her phone let out that obnoxious tone. Jisoo snapped around to her phone on her bed, her 20th one this month [her phone keeps running out of storage room from all her photos, yet she refuses to delete any. So she just gets a new one once her current runs out if storage]. She looked at the screen.

My Muse

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

As soon as she read these messages, her expression brightened. He brush was thrown into a corner of her big room, making a clack sound as it hit the tiles. In a matter of seconds she typed her answer and send you the homework, as you requested.

Chaeyoung

Soft, gentle fingers stoked the strings on a wooden guitar, filling the room with a sweet melody. An angelic voice joined the guitar play, creating a fairytale like song. As it slowly came to an end, the girl to whom that angelic voice belongs, leans over to her nightstand, grabbing her phone. With longing eyes she stared at the screen while muttering please under her breath. Just then, she received a text message.

My Lovely Y/n 😊

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

She jumped up, placing the guitar on her bed while dancing around. Her eyes, filled with love and adoration, focused on the text. She took a screenshot and replied while singing out of happiness.

Lisa

After she had finished her last pirouette for the day, she scated off the ice to remove her scates. The young girl sat on the cold bench, letting her hair out of her bun, to flow over her shoulders in smooth waves. While removing her skates, she received a notification on her phone.

Sweetheart 🌸

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Lisa smiled as she exchanged her ice skates for a pair of warm boots and placed them back to where they belong. While texting her love, she walked out with poise and flipped her hair back. Of course her love would rely on her. She is the most trustworthy person after all.

[arans-princess]

I wanna play

Sakusa-nii x reader x atsumu

Degradation, rough sex, spitting, cnc, this gets dark yall, light somno. Poly relationship

-  Omi-nii doesn’t like most people except you, you are the only exception, he loves his little sister to death. He would do anything to keep you happy. 

- He doesn’t like bodily fluids unless they come from you, everything you do is so adorable to him, you’re his Imōto

- The way you whine as he eats out your cute little cunny, music to his ears

- The way you claw at his back as his thick cock splits you open, is so sweet. He knows his dick it too big for you, but the way you tell him you’re a big girl and you can take it, any thing for nii-chan; makes his cock throb. 

-  The way you babble and drool as he fucks you silly, your eyes rolling back as he bounces you on his dick, one large calloused hand around your throat using it as leverage. The other holds you at your hip with a bruising grip as he plows into you. 

-  The bathroom sink is frigid on your feverish body, but it does nothing to quell the heat inside you. He applies just enough pressure to your neck so that you're looking at yourself in the mirror. 

- He gladly pounds your third orgasm out of you, his hips unrelenting as the post game adrenaline has flooded his veins. Gosh, when they said he was a part of the generation of monsters they weren’t kidding. 

“Omi-nii, ugh, fuck I-I Im gonna cum!” you babble through strangled moans, your pulse pounding in your head as his thick fingers press against the sides of your throat, cutting off blood supply to your brain. Drunk off the pleasure, you can feel your head swimming, drowning in the sensation of his fat cock brushing against your sweet spot, the cold counter digging into you adds to your pleasure. 

“Yes, you can y/n-chan, yes you can. C’mon, be my good girl, cum on for me, cum for your nii-chan.” he bends down, leaning into your neck and bites. Leaving a trail of marks from your collarbone to your ear. “Just a little more for me, baby” the hand on your hip travels to your clit and rubs tight circles on your overused bud. His hips still as he increases the pace of his fingers. “You're clamping down so hard, baby girl, you gonna squirt for me?” he looks up at your blissed out expression, your legs are trembling, arms desperately clinging to the arm attached to your throat. 

“Omi, please I wanna taste you.” You mewl out clawing at his forearm, nails digging deep into his veiny flesh. Somehow, he takes you to heights unknown as his cock throbs in your wet heat. Now that he stopped thrusting you can feel your cunt pulsing, your slick is dripping down your ass onto the sink below making your ass slippery; you would have slid off, if not for you big brother supporting you, such a good brother. The hand on your throat migrates to your chin gripping it harshly, prying open your mouth. His face draws closer to yours as he gathers a glob of saliva and plops on to your tongue. You hold it in there waiting for him to give you permission to swallow, both of your fluids mingling in your mouth. Tongue twitching in anticipation, your eyes meet his in a silent plea. 

“Swallow princess. Be a good girl and squirt for me, c’mon” he coos while looking at your fucked out face; eyes rolling back, mouth open in a silent scream. With his encouragement you let go of the knot building in your belly, and all at once fluid gushes out of your cunt as he continues to rub your clit, working you through this mind numbing orgasm like a good big brother. Not even the groaning coming from one of the stalls can snap you out of this bliss.

“Holy fuck Omi-kun, I didn’t know she could squirt!” Both of your heads snap in the direction of the voice in search of the owner. Omi is shocked to find the owner, it’s Tsumu, his teammate. Oh fuck. “Poor little y/n-chan too fucked out on your brother's cock to care? Look at you. You look so fucking pathetic. You like when your big brother uses you like a toy? Don’t you?” Tsumu teases while inspecting your used body, he’s right. You’re covered in drool, cum is seeping out of your puffy cunt. You’re a mess. But you’re Nii-chan’s mess, right? “So this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to play with your toy. You can watch or leave, I don’t really care. Unless you want me to tell the press you fuck your baby sister like a whore? You can kiss your career goodbye. Yeah it would suck to have you off the team but; rumor has it, this Kyōtani Kentarō kid is being scouted for the team next year. I would love to set for him. Hate to see you go though.” That damn smirk never leaves his face, and he doesn't take his eyes off you, not even for a second. You can feel nii-chan stiffen between your legs as the realization hits him. He has to comply if he wants to keep your lives from derailing. 

“Fine,” Omi spits, “can I finish here first? I'm still hard.” his question is harsh, you can practically see steam coming from his ears, his face that was already red from the exertion deepened. His chest is still heaving, but you can't tell if it's from anger or not. It most likely is. This anger is only intensified with blond’s response. “ Yeah no. I want my payment now.” the blonde chuckles, looking very pleased with himself. Omi’s grip on your body tightens immensely, painfully even, yet somehow through this exchange you have not come to terms with what's happening quite yet. It's not until Omi withdraws from your heat that you understand the gravity of the situation. Your relationship has been found out, after years of being so careful, this is what happens. All because you couldn't keep your greedy little hands to yourself. You should feel more responsible but you can't bring yourself to. You're too far gone, trapped in your own mind, locked away in subspace. 

Next thing you know Tsumu plunges into your heat roughly and sets a brutal pace from the start. His cock isn’t the same and nii-chans, it's not as long. It doesn’t hammer into your cervix, but it's twice as thick, and the stretch burns. It’s not a good burn, it hurts. You dont like Tsumu fucking you. You're not his toy, you belong to nii-chan, not his teammate. You look over at Omi and see him standing in the corner. His cock is still hard and throbbing, the tip is a bright red, and he looks so ready to burst. ”Nii-chan, make him stop, I-I don't like him inside me. H-hurts, it hurts.” you croak out, attempting to reach out for him. The sight breaks his heart in two, he wants nothing more than to fling that shit-head off of his precious baby sister, but he can’t. He takes a half step towards you then stops himself, knowing if he interrupts his career is over, and with that so is your life of comfort. He simply can't have that. Omi swallows his pride and tries to tune out your wails of anguish as Tsumu defiles you, but your cries only get louder and louder as he continues. 

“Such a slut, aren't you y/n-chan? This little hole just weeps for anyone doesn't it?” Tsumu questions while leaning in your face, breath fanning over you. The rank smell of coffee assaults your nostrils, making you try and turn away, but he roughly snatches your face back to look at him. His fingers are roughly digging into your cheeks and the pressure forces your jaw open. Your eyes widen in fear as you realize what is about to happen. He hocks a fat glob of spit inside your pliant mouth, the look in his eyes tells you to swallow or risk harsher treatment. So with fat tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, you do as he asks. The pounding never ceases as he beams brightly down at you. His smile, one you once found endearing, now makes your stomach turn, and you close your eyes and hope for him to finnish quickly. 

“Aht aht aht, c’mon princess, look at me. Look at me and be grateful that someone is stuffing your stupid little cunt at all.” he chuckles as he thrusts harder into your womb, the stretch doesn’t burn like it did before, as your body finally adjusted to his massive girth. Reluctantly you open your eyes and look at his figure looming above you. He’s drenched in sweat and his face is flushed with exertion. He looks almost appealing like this, with his eyebrows furrowed, eyes blown wide in lust and some other emotion, hate? No, it doesn't bite the same. Its- its love. 

Love? He loves you? Oh yeah that's right , when Omi joined the team and brought you around to meet the team, he made it a point to keep Tsumu far away from you. One time Tsumu had managed to snag you away from the group, and while you don't remember much about that night, you do know that Omi was really mad about it. Omi said he was flirting but you didn't even realize it. The whole time you only had eyes for your Nii-chan. That must be why he was lurking in the bathroom. Now that you’re thinking, Atsumu was always around when you two would run off, and you always felt another set of eyes watching you… oh yeah, that’s right… You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you feel a pressure on your clit. The rough pads of his fingers circle your clit, you can feel the calluses on your sensitive nub throwing you over the edge into yet another orgasm. You claw at his back, unconsciously pulling him into you. The way your pussy clamps down on his length makes him gasp, professing his love in your ear as he shoots his load into you. But they dont say he is a part of the generation of monsters for nothing, he doesn't stop his relentless pace, pushing all of his cum out of you. Your vision starts to get blurry, between the tears and the haze of overstimulation taking over. You can hear Omi get angry somewhere in the back of your head, but it sounds far away, like he’s yelling underwater. 

You feel your body tense up for yet another orgasm and then your vision cuts out. When you come to, Atsumu is still fucking you, but the pleasure is gone. It’s too much, and when you register this you start fighting back, pushing his face off your neck, shoving his shoulders back to try and dislodge him. Then you hear him chuckle darkly. 

“Don't worry y/n-chan, I'll be done shortly, I was able to cum a few more times when you went to sleep on me. Did you know you cum even when you pass out?” he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. You look over to the side and see your big brother sitting in the corner. You look in his eyes and see barely contained rage. The fire in them looks like it could melt a diamond. Tsumu lifts your shirt to take a nipple in his mouth as he cums, sheathing himself in your heat completely, filling you up beyond what you thought was possible. 

Your legs start to give out and Omi notices this, he rushes to your side to hold you up-right. “ATSUMU, I told you to be more careful with her! We can't break our princess. Well at least not somewhere so public. Come here baby girl, Nii-chan will take care of you.”

“I’m sorry princess, I got a little carried away. Here, let's get you home. We can cuddle and watch some movies. And up you go!” Tsumu looks at you sheepishly as he apologises, then he lifts you up and pulls his hoodie over your head. He carries you out of the bathroom, uncaring for the strange looks you three get. Your face is buried in his neck and your legs are wrapped around his waist. Omi glares at anyone who even thinks about asking about your identity. 

Your relationship might be a little unorthodox, but it’s yours and everyone is happy with it. More importantly you and Omi have realized what happens when Tsumu feels left out.