#finna brosca

[faejilly]

Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as dwarves count such things, kill a guy, find a drunk guy, panic, fight some more guys (just trying not to get killed by your boss), boss tries to kill you anyway, leave your sister and best friend behind in the dust because they told you to, (and it's that or die, honestly, and you're not ready for that), get to Ostagar, meet a KING?!?, there's a fucking view with sky and distant trees and this is IMPOSSIBLE, you miss the fucking STONE and then some very very random nobody is all, "Maker watch over you, my lady"

Apparently you're a lady

what the actual fuck, Brosca's life is very weird

[faejilly]

Finna Brosca

I have no excuse for this collection besides the fact I laughed so I'm sharing:

1: Dwarves are short and Alistair is tall 2: Finna is round and Morrigan is Too Skinny (Finna is absolutely going to get her So Much Food & So Many Blankets)

3 & 4: Idk, Sten's huh face as he looks down at the dwarf that just opened his cage for the heck of it after one (1) quick conversation (she never did talk to the boss-lady in the chantry. because chantries are weird and she doesn't get it.)

5: They are both short and covered in blood and delighted with each other's existence: BFFs 5evar

[faejilly]

@annakie replied to your post “Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as...”:

LOVE IT, love her! I'm going to start my Pre-DA:V playthrough very soon, too!!

​YAY! <3 (thank you)

@servantofclio replied to your post “Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as...”:

I love her already, poor Brosca

people still keep calling her my lady when she goes places

she's not really complaining?

but wtf

every time it happens she kind of does this weird almost-jump and looks around, because either they have to be talking to someone else or she's about to get arrested for impersonating a non-duster

and then nope, they mean her, and everyone else thinks that's good?

again, this is not bad

but it is very very weird

and will continue to be weird

@genginger replied to your post “@chimericaloutlier replied to your post “Be a...”:

Finna: so relatable.

she is just.

so tired

why is everyone so melodramatic and complicated about everything? 😅

[faejilly]

@chimericaloutlier replied to your post “Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as...”:

Her whole life is the John Mulaney "This might as well happen" meme

​EXACTLY

It's especially hilarious to me, because Ingva was all heart-eyes at Duncan and Alistair, like, you got me out of Dust Town, I'm helping save the world, this is AMAZING! (Also, yk, Alistair made her laugh, which isn't a thing that had happened much in her life, so. Heart-eyes.)

And Finna is just: What the Fuck Is Wrong with every single person on the Surface? Don't get her wrong, she's not actually complaining or anything, yay, she's still alive, she's all for fighting Darkspawn, every one she kills is one less that might go back to the Deep Roads and add to Orzammar's problems, which is good for Rica and all, but still. STILL. How do these people ever get anything done? (No wonder Orzammar's been besieged for a thousand years, Surfacers make everything so damn complicated and then act like it's normal. None of this is normal. WTF people.)

[faejilly]

go to the Wilds, collect some super gross blood, find many different sorts of stupid dead people, (decide fuck no, you're not messing with Ancestor Spirits because you don't want to ALSO be a stupid dead people, so you skip the weird ash quest), meet actually not stupid but definitely Weird Witch Ladies, watch your new boss kill somebody (because that's what bosses do on the Surface too apparently), drink some blood, HAVE A FUCKING DREAM ABOUT A FUCKING DRAGON, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?, and then get told you, specifically you, the Duster and Newest Lowest Ranking Grey Warden are supposed to join your new murdery boss in a Meeting With A King.

Yeah. Life is apparently like that up here. Whatever.

Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as dwarves count such things, kill a guy, find a drunk guy, panic, fight some more guys (just trying not to get killed by your boss), boss tries to kill you anyway, leave your sister and best friend behind in the dust because they told you to, (and it's that or die, honestly, and you're not ready for that), get to Ostagar, meet a KING?!?, there's a fucking view with sky and distant trees and this is IMPOSSIBLE, you miss the fucking STONE and then some very very random nobody is all, "Maker watch over you, my lady"

Apparently you're a lady

what the actual fuck, Brosca's life is very weird

[faejilly]

This is Finna, btw.

And her continuing adventures!

-

Go climb a tower that's crawling with darkspawn, which is, after all, what darkspawn do, (crawl over everything), but apparently everyone else thinks they shouldn't be there.

(Surfacers are dumb)

almost die, get rescued by Weird Witches (possibly for the second time, really, considering they're the ones that found the treaties the first time?) and have one of them insist you adopt the other one

(you haven't adopted anyone since Leske, this is kind of nice actually)

Find out the Surfacers can't even follow their OWN war plans, almost everyone's dead, the horde's just wandering around doing whatever the fuck it wants, and Alistair is barely more of a Grey Warden than you are and doesn't actually know anything useful about how they do shit and thus needs you to adopt him too because he's a little overwhelmed.

(Honestly, that's kind of fair, if Duncan hadn't been there when you first left Orzammar you would have gotten eaten by a bear or something. At least you and Alistair didn't hit the 'lost everything and everyone and am very confused about the world' at the same time?)

So. Understandable, but it is not ideal, darkspawn suck and archdemons are terrifying and you have no idea how anything works but you're in charge now!

Which is The Ultimate Surfacer Nonsense, but whatever, at least you can ignore most of the stupid and focus on killing darkspawn which is the whole reason Orzammar let the Grey Wardens recruit you, so.

So.

Follow Morrigan and Alistair around because they at least know how to navigate above ground even if they're cranky about navigating together.

GET A PUPPY! Maybe Surface Shit Isn't All Stupid. The Dog Is Cool. You named him Runar.

Get to human town to regroup. Find stupid bandits and run them off. (Who tries to steal from the people who don't have anything? even the Carta doesn't steal from Dusters, that's just DUMB) This is apparently a good move, all the humans are pleased.

Find stupid merchant who is ALSO trying to steal from the people who don't have anything what the hell Surfacers aren't even good criminals, this is so exhausting. He leaves in a huff, you suppose one of these days you should figure out how to talk to people rather than just sighing and rolling your eyes at them because they're stupid, but historically you were just supposed to hit them, so this is not your usual skill set, and you really don't want to talk to people so maybe you'll just go back to stabbing them?

You found a very nice fancy dagger after all, might as well use it.

Meet a giant in a cage who apparently got locked up for murder, but come on now, who among us hasn't done that? And he's been there for ages and is still alive which seems useful when fighting Darkspawn, so you let him out & adopt him too so he can help.

He is pretty insulting about it, but he's still nicer than most of Orzammar was to dusters, so whatever. And it's clearly not personal, he likes insulting everyone even more than Morrigan likes insulting Alistair, so you don't care.

Adopt a weird chantry lady too, because she also seems to be good at the fighting people, even if she let Loghain's idiots run away. (To be fair, you let the stupid bandits run away an hour ago, so it's not like you're one to talk. You can't kill all the stupid people, there'd be no one left.) She is also batshit crazy, but again. That's kind of comfortingly familiar, no one who worked for Beraht was quiet or sane about much of anything.

Help some humans out, (and some dwarves! that was nice) because they are really bad at this being surrounded by darkspawn thing and it's kind of adorable.

Also when they like you they give you shit, and you're not about to turn down anything that might be helpful. (See above and adopting all the crazy surfacers.)

Kill more bandits and giant spiders and wolves and darkspawn again and even more dumb humans who did not learn from seeing all the OTHER people who tried and failed to kill you and thought they'd get a reward out of it, and none of this is changing your mind that Surfacers make things way too complicated and are also (even at their best) kind-of dumb.

But still.

You're not dead! You have some help! You own more shit than you ever did in Dust Town!

You have a dog.

(The dog's still the best part. And the only one with sense.)

Your barbarian mace with an extra stabby bit in the hilt is pretty nice too though.

Be a duster, don't even have a name really, not as dwarves count such things, kill a guy, find a drunk guy, panic, fight some more guys (just trying not to get killed by your boss), boss tries to kill you anyway, leave your sister and best friend behind in the dust because they told you to, (and it's that or die, honestly, and you're not ready for that), get to Ostagar, meet a KING?!?, there's a fucking view with sky and distant trees and this is IMPOSSIBLE, you miss the fucking STONE and then some very very random nobody is all, "Maker watch over you, my lady"

Apparently you're a lady

what the actual fuck, Brosca's life is very weird