#finley vents! 💔

[finleyforevermore]

Vent with religious themes, themes of trauma, suicide, assault, abuse, murder, and depression under the cut. Please, I beg of you, do not read if you are sensitive to any of these topics. Thank you.

Dear God (no, for real this time),

If what has happened in my personal life during this month/late last month has told me anything, it's that either:

A.) you are real and are just very bad at your job

or B.) you AREN'T and I've been praying to a wall for most of my existence

If A is the truth, I've got some words for you. Since you see all or whatever the fuck.

I've questioned your existence many times but I think this year is just it for me. Because looking back on it, you've done nothing of use for me or family this year.

I'd already been pretty committed to seeing things realistically but you letting Radio be taken away from me was the kicker I guess.

Radio/Simon, or @5ampuppetshow for those who aren't aware is currently inactive because its mom found their Tumblr and is now monitoring him. I don't know if/when he'll be back.

You really expect me to believe that YOU, the Almighty, allowed two of my dear friends to be taken away from me a month between each other?? Emory's (@wantmeifyouwantme) parents found his account and now I've lost my virtual big brother, and now you've allowed Simon to be taken away from me.

But why stop at just that? No no we've gotta allow 99% of some of the greatest people I've ever met to be traumatized, suicidal, have low self-esteem, or depressed. Because isn't that delightful? Isn't it so fucking wonderful to have people you love so much be traumatized and suffer beyond belief and lead the boy who has nothing but pure love for them to have many a breakdown over this? /sar

My mom and nana watch these crappy videos from "prophets" talking about "the end" and how everything and everyone is secretly wicked and selling their souls to the devil.

Well riddle me this, Big Guy Upstairs. Where the fuck were you to send me a vision or a sign that Liam was going to fucking kill himself? Where were you to send my friends a prophecy before their Tumblrs were taken away from them? Where were you to stop my friends from being assaulted? Where were you to stop my friends from being abused? Where were you to stop 99% of my friends from having such horrible, unbelievably terrifying trauma? Where were you to stop George Floyd's murder? Or Nex Benedict's? Or Ryan Gainer's? Where are you right fucking now to stop the ruthless murders taking place daily in Palestine? Where were you to stop my mother from marrying my father and save her from 14 years of torture? Where were you when my mom got breast cancer (she's cured now, her doctors were amazing)? Where were you when my father was born? You smited firstborn children in Egypt, you couldn't have killed my father?

My father will remain the worst man I've ever known and will ever know. But putting religion and other beings into the equation, that spot goes right to you.

For my entire life you have done nothing for me. You've done nothing for my family. You've done nothing for my friends. You've shown me utter indifference my entire life.

With every fiber of my being, I hate you.

See you in Hell, I guess,

Finley

[finleyforevermore]

Dear God,

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

~ Finley

[finleyforevermore]

all of my friends are fucking dying.

[finleyforevermore]

Turns out I know FIVE people with sexual trauma!

Wooo! /sar /neg

[finleyforevermore]

I swear Liam must be a cursed fucking name-

One Liam's passed away and now another one has gone inactive and may have potentially killed themselves

I'm so sick of this

Back to listening to Epiphany on loop until I feel better ig

Listening to that song isn't gonna bring either of them back

I guess there's no point in even listening

[finleyforevermore]

Wowww you wouldn't have invited to your stupid little friend server unless the friend you treasure more than me asked you to? Wowww thanks you fucking asshole. /sar

[finleyforevermore]

Nothing quite like having a breakdown to Epiphany from Sweeney Todd am I right

[finleyforevermore]

Not to mention the amount of times the f word that rhymes with rag and "monkey" were used by the class. I think I may actually explode if one more kid calls another one a monkey, knowing good and damn well the history behind that use of the word-

Hate this generation of kids so fucking much. Why did my peers have to be homophobic racists?????

Feel like crying.

Lost my platonic partner for at least some time and now I have to interact with a bunch of racist, immature teens. Today is gonna be rough, I can already tell.

[finleyforevermore]

PS: Had a dream I was able to contact Simon again (yes I miss it that much, but wouldn't YOU in my position?). Apparently YOU are the one responsible for giving people their dreams.

What a cruel motherfucker you are.

Maybe this is your way of getting payback for this letter. Do your worst, I guess. You've shown me that you're a horrible father already, all this crap is just furthering my beliefs in that. Keep up the horrible work, you're not helping yourself at all.

Vent with religious themes, themes of trauma, suicide, assault, abuse, murder, and depression under the cut. Please, I beg of you, do not read if you are sensitive to any of these topics. Thank you.

Dear God (no, for real this time),

If what has happened in my personal life during this month/late last month has told me anything, it's that either:

A.) you are real and are just very bad at your job

or B.) you AREN'T and I've been praying to a wall for most of my existence

If A is the truth, I've got some words for you. Since you see all or whatever the fuck.

I've questioned your existence many times but I think this year is just it for me. Because looking back on it, you've done nothing of use for me or family this year.

I'd already been pretty committed to seeing things realistically but you letting Radio be taken away from me was the kicker I guess.

Radio/Simon, or @5ampuppetshow for those who aren't aware is currently inactive because its mom found their Tumblr and is now monitoring him. I don't know if/when he'll be back.

You really expect me to believe that YOU, the Almighty, allowed two of my dear friends to be taken away from me a month between each other?? Emory's (@wantmeifyouwantme) parents found his account and now I've lost my virtual big brother, and now you've allowed Simon to be taken away from me.

But why stop at just that? No no we've gotta allow 99% of some of the greatest people I've ever met to be traumatized, suicidal, have low self-esteem, or depressed. Because isn't that delightful? Isn't it so fucking wonderful to have people you love so much be traumatized and suffer beyond belief and lead the boy who has nothing but pure love for them to have many a breakdown over this? /sar

My mom and nana watch these crappy videos from "prophets" talking about "the end" and how everything and everyone is secretly wicked and selling their souls to the devil.

Well riddle me this, Big Guy Upstairs. Where the fuck were you to send me a vision or a sign that Liam was going to fucking kill himself? Where were you to send my friends a prophecy before their Tumblrs were taken away from them? Where were you to stop my friends from being assaulted? Where were you to stop my friends from being abused? Where were you to stop 99% of my friends from having such horrible, unbelievably terrifying trauma? Where were you to stop George Floyd's murder? Or Nex Benedict's? Or Ryan Gainer's? Where are you right fucking now to stop the ruthless murders taking place daily in Palestine? Where were you to stop my mother from marrying my father and save her from 14 years of torture? Where were you when my mom got breast cancer (she's cured now, her doctors were amazing)? Where were you when my father was born? You smited firstborn children in Egypt, you couldn't have killed my father?

My father will remain the worst man I've ever known and will ever know. But putting religion and other beings into the equation, that spot goes right to you.

For my entire life you have done nothing for me. You've done nothing for my family. You've done nothing for my friends. You've shown me utter indifference my entire life.

With every fiber of my being, I hate you.

See you in Hell, I guess,

Finley