#finished crying over it hhh

[hunxi-after-hours]

Hello! I love your ORV posting. I do have an embarrassing question; can I ask how heartbreaking the ending is? I've tried reading it a large number of times, but have had trouble getting past the chapters in the 300s; I'll reread it up til that point over and over again, but can't continue. Not because I don't enjoy it, but because I get so swept away by the emotions, and all the characters go through is agonizing. I know it's not real! But my heart aches all the same, in a way I've never experienced this with a novel before, and I feel like a child LOL (It's also extremely funny-frustrating because I realize how thematic this is to the story itself). I'm not worried about the characters Kim Dokja is fighting for, but given the patterns in the story and how it seems to be told, I'm too afraid to keep going. I know I could just look it up, but at the same time, I don't want to spoil all the mysteries; just if my heart can rest easy. TLDR, if it's not too spoilery, is there any light for kim dokja in the ending? or is it a tragedy through & through?

(If this is a dumb question, please feel free to ignore this)

oh boy anon, I've been sitting on this ask for a hot second because it's hard to answer! so I will attempt to talk around it in a way that will hopefully (?) avoid spoilers

as I see it, the nature of orv's ending (broadly writ) is additionally complicated by the fact that there are approximately four(ish) endings:

1) the ending at chapter 516

2 + 3) the ending(s) at chapter 551

4?) the side stories

the ending at chapter 516

this is probably what many people would characterize as BE, but I'd personally compare it to the ending of my love, my life, 《琅琊榜》 Nirvana in Fire, in that the ending may be "sad" (broad air quotes to vague-ify whatever "sad" entails) but it feels earned. it feels right. it feels like the logical conclusion of what the entire book was building up to. some may consider it a tragedy, but it's not a hollow, meaningless tragedy — it feels correct. this is the note that the novel officially ends on, but is then over(?)written by the existence of—

the ending(s) at chapter 551

Kim Dokja's Company looks at the ending of ch. 516 and says "aw hell no" and sets out to rewrite that ending. after 35 chapters of epilogue, we've unlocked an OE — an open ending, that concludes the moment before the HE/BE ambiguity will be resolved. schrodinger's ending, except you, the reader, get to choose what you believe — and I do think the epilogues are written beautifully to get you here (they implicate the reader in a wonderful and deeply empathetic way). and from what I've seen, the vast majority of the fandom chooses to take the offered HE option and run with it; everyone lives happily ever after together in a big house, a million domestic post-canon fics will attest. this is the closest, I'd say, that would come answering your question of whether Kim Dokja has light in his future with an emphatic, loving "yes"

(I also think it's worth mentioning that the epilogues add a lot to the story; they fill in narrative lacunae and tie up loose threads that aren't answered in the original 516 chapters, so I don't consider the epilogues as "separate" or "extra." the epilogues aren't a fix-it tacked onto the end of the narrative; they serve and enrich the narrative in a way that would actively reduce the luster of the story if lost)

the side story

a few years down the line, Sing-shong have returned to the text to tie up "a few more loose ends." the side story is currently being serialized, and more or less picks up from where chapter 551 left off. this necessarily chooses among your OE options as detailed above; whether the side story will end happily, or with "light for Kim Dokja," currently remains to be seen as it is still ongoing. I've fallen off the bandwagon and have been meaning to catch up, but from what I've read so far I think the side story is an interesting and worthwhile addition to the text. Sing-shong continue to innovate and develop upon the worldbuilding and narrative they have already created, and we have met a new cast of characters that have rapidly become as dear to us as the old (the old cast of characters are also here, don't worry). if I were a betting person, I would say that the side story is headed in a more-or-less HE direction; the side story is currently engaging with and complicating themes of (self-)identity and (self-)worth through the many lenses of Kim Dokja, and while it remains to be seen how it resolves, I am tentatively optimistic that it will, if nothing else, be satisfying

TL;DR the ending(s) of ORV can be variously construed as HE, BE, or OE, and the elements of tragedy woven into the narrative and characters are inherent to the text. however, no tragedy is meaningless in ORV, and all of the endings feel earned

[cherry-writes-yanderes]

COD: MW2 Yandere Headcanons (Ghost, Soap & Price)

A/N: so down bad, y’all- (also i was inspired by @yeyinde​ , especially for the Price stuff bc hhh- anyway ily and your writing is phenomenal <3)

as always: like & reblog if you enjoy my work~

cw: gender neutral reader, spoiler free, drugging, stalking/night stalking, Ghost goes on a panty raid (but it’s just your toothbrush), jealousy, kidnapping, abuse of power, murder, blackmail, manipulation, noncon touching (non-sexual), Price’s part gets a lil steamy bc i am feral but that’s what we want amirite babes? ;3 (nothing nsfw tho so it’s okay <3)

Simon “Ghost” Riley

The Stalker

The yandere you never see coming. Ever.

Of course you never see him coming, he knows you too well to let you see him

He’s a hardcore watcher when it comes to obsession, choosing to protect you from afar

For now.

He’ll look up from whatever he’s doing to watch you from across the room, barely able to hear your voice but enough to see your form

The famous Ghost isn’t proud to admit it but... he has come into your room before...

While you were sleeping...

Did you know you mumble a bit? He finds it cute~

The touch-starved man will kneel at the edge of your bed, rubbing your lips with his calloused fingers almost as a subliminal plea for you to fall as deeply for him as he has for you

He’s taken things from your room before as well

Nothing too crazy, though! A shirt that he knew for sure you wouldn’t miss, a bracelet, your toothbrush

Anyways-

When you engage in a conversation with him, he is over the fucking moon istg

He acts all serious and stoic on the outside, but on the inside his heart is beating so fast that he feels like it’ll burst out of his chest like a wrecking ball

These interactions don’t happen often, but they do fan the flame immensely, to the point where he decides to take action

Indeed, the yandere you never see coming... until he gives you some tea

A gruff “drink” command tumbles off of his tongue

He’s staring you down as you bring the cup to your lips, innocently sipping away

He adores how much you trust him

Soon enough, you’re falling right into his arms

Right where you always belonged.

John “Soap” MacTavish

The Killer

I feel like Soap’s not one to fall easily for people, but when he saw you for the first time he just fucking melted

He’s kind and genuine to you, although still just a bit rough around the edges

Especially when others are around when you two are talking

You notice right off the bat how tense Soap can get when others speak to you, and you chalk it up to him just being a bit overprotective; with his line of work, that wasn’t surprising

You were indeed oblivious to the fact that he was working to protect you right under your nose; and he adored that you never found out until it was too late

I strongly believe that Soap is one of the only ones to turn to murder rather quickly, opting to protect you in more ways than just with his physical form being near

Keep in mind, people are the next target even with the wrong wrist movement; a side eye to your form, or even a stare too many

The people you talk to regularly start to dwindle down gradually

Until it’s just him that you turn your face to, which he is so, so happy about!

His favorite part is looking into your pretty eyes

When you caught him cleaning up a certain mess... Your eyes got so wide!

He thought it was so cute!!!~

Soap tried to approach you, but you kept questioning the blood on his face

“Why are you askin’? It doesn’t matter, that guy was bothering you!”

You started to cry and fight, but that was okay!

He can just wrestle you down in that chair over there with some duct tape, and you can take a breather while he finishes up over here! After that, he’ll take you home, don’t worry!

Blood is very hard to clean... but his namesake is for a reason, right?

John Price

The Manipulator

This man knows what he’s doing.

Which is obviously good for him, but absolutely not for you

It starts small at first

He calls you close to speak with him on trivial matters, ones that don’t mean much by the end of the day

This is mostly just to observe you, to watch what makes you tick and fidget

What makes your cheeks heat up...

Soon enough, those same things are playing against you

Within a week, he’s got you sitting on his desk, his warm hand gripping your thigh and his tongue deep down your throat when you’re supposed to be on duty somewhere else

You try to convince him that this is wrong; that you’re here to do your job, and this relationship was most likely against the rules

He’ll only chuckle lowly at your antics, knowing full well that you’ll always come back to him

He’ll brush your side during meetings with the group, just to see you get flustered in front of everyone

He finds you just so adorable, he can hardly stand it~

And when you decide to stop coming to see him, obviously he needed to take action

After a week of you doing your best to avoid Price, he calls you in and says it’s “urgent matters”

You rush into his office, thinking that it was a comrade’s fall or a family member on the phone for you

But no.

Price is sitting in his chair, heavy boots on the desk and a thick cigar in his hand

Your confused look is met with a deep, gravelly laugh and a short and sweet explanation

It seems that - since you decided not to listen to your superior’s orders - you were to be discharged immediately under the discretion of Price himself

Before you could even get a word in, the taller man pushes you into his desk and traps you physically as well as mentally

“What now, love? Hm...?” He asks softly, his lips brushing softly against your throat

You didn’t want to leave, this place and the people here felt like home!!

It didn’t take long for you to be begging Price for forgiveness

And, as a gracious Captain would, he grants you mercy...

Under his rules, of course~

[milkywaydrabbles]

"Let’s go home” “I’m already home” from the fluff thing for Eren?

A/N: ahh ty for the fluff prompt! I turned this a bit angsty bc AoT got hands in that department hhh. Def not canon compliant Eren has me all the way fucked up if he thinks I'm writing the accurate ending please 😭 I hope you enjoy it anyways! Mwuah

CW: angst

"I'm already home" x Eren

The war has been long. It's been long and arduous and too many soldiers have fallen at the hands of the titans. Too many have fallen since invading Marley. Too many nights have you fallen asleep worrying about Eren, if he was going to have a successful mission, if he was going to be used as a pawn against the world, if he would even make it to see tomorrow. But the war was over, and there was finally time to rebuild.

And yet, Eren hasn't been seen. You held onto hope that he was okay, that they just hadn't found him yet. You hoped that somehow, somewhere, he would be alive. The longer the days went by, the less you hoped. Mikasa and Armin were there to console you, as you all consoled each other. They had lost their best friend, same as you had lost your lover. You all still had a job to do. The war was over, and you still had to rebuild.

A soldier, from the survey corps (or what used to be) came running through the barracks, yelling something that you couldn't quite make out yet until he got closer. "He's here! He's back!" Your heart stopped. It could have been anyone, you knew it could have. But your heart was telling you to run to him. The way Mikasa and Armin looked at you when they heard the same sentence solidified what you all knew: Eren was back. You ran through the halls, practically shoving people out of the way until you came face to face with the brunette that was once thought to be missing in action. His hair was pulled back, messy. He was bruised, a little worse for wear. But he was back. He looked at you for a best, before giving you a small smile and opening his arms.

You looked up at him, confused, before he cupped your face into his hands, and leaned down for the most gentle kiss. It was full of all the love and adoration he had felt for you throughout all these years. It was slow, deliberate, like he wanted to make sure you knew exactly how he dt about you. When he pulled back he leaned his forehead against yours and looked lovingly into your eyes before speaking again, just loud enough for only you to hear.

You didn't give it a second thought before you flung yourself to him with a cry, clinging onto Eren for dear life. You didn't know if he would ever come back, you couldn't bare to think about how life would be without him. All the years of friendship through childhood, all the restless nights through young adulthood, you couldn't breathe without him. "Eren," you started with a hiccup "Eren I can't believe it, thank God, I thought I lost you, I thought—" you cut yourself off, not even able to finish the sentence. He held onto you tightly, hushing your soft cries. "I'm sorry for worrying you, sweetheart, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." He reassured you with kisses to the crown of your head. You nodded with a teary smile, wiping away the droplets that stained your cheek. "Yeah..yeah you're right. Come on, let's go home." You started to tug at his arm, before getting pulled back.

"With you, I'm already home."

The war was over, and now you can finally rebuild. With him.

[17snifflesandsnzes]

Okay, here's part 2!

I Guess You Could Say We're Inseparable (2)

Dino pov:

I turned to Seungkwan. He had both his hands hovering in front of his face, his chest rising and falling with desperate gasps. “hh'KtChuhHH!’ hh'kTShuhhH!- Hhh…hh'ItChUhhH!- Ugh.” He blinked irritated tears away from his eyes, sniffling before he turned to me. I silently walked up to the speakers to turn on the music. As we danced, I could feel Seungkwan struggling to keep up. He looked so utterly exhausted that I felt bad for making him dance in his sick state. While dancing, I thought about last night again. Fighting with Seungkwan was almost like second nature to me and sometimes we hurt each other while doing it. But right now, not talking to him was definitely hurting me more. And seeing him so sick and tired just made me want to forget everything and hug him. He hurt me, sure, but he deserved comfort too. I was hurting him by ignoring him the entire day too. I was pulled out of my internal monologue by Seungkwan, who had stopped the music. I saw him cup his hands over his nose and mouth and he whined as his eyes fluttered shut, breath hitching desperately. “hh'hTShuHh!- hh'KtChUhhH!- Ugh… Hhh…hh’KtChUhH!-” He sniffled wetly as he let out a sigh. I sighed too, turning towards him. “Seungkwan-ah, are you okay?” He looked at me with watery eyes and I felt my chest tighten. “I'm okay. You don't need to worry about me.” Okay, that actually did break my heart. I walked closer to him. “Kwan-ah, why do you not want me to worry about you?” A tear rolled down Seungkwan's cheek and even though he immediately wiped it off, it didn't get past me. “Because I hurt you yesterday! I said shit I didn't mean and I hurt you! I almost made you cry! And I don't think I can forgive myself for that…” His voice broke at the last sentence and I immediately pulled him into a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around him. I could feel Seungkwan shaking with sobs in my hold while I comforted him. We stood there for who knows how long, Seungkwan's sobs dying out as I caressed his head. When I was sure that Seungkwan was finished, I pulled out of the hug to look at him. As he made eye contact with me, I could see his eyes fill with tears again. “I'm so sorry, Chan-ah! I never should have said anything like that! You're an amazing vocalist and you've improved so much and I've seen you grow and I'm so proud of you and I know I messed up and I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean it, I swear! I'm really sorry, Chan-ah! I'm-” I cut off his desperate rambling by putting my finger to his lips. I saw his eyes widen and I smiled softly. “Shh. I know, Kwan-ah. I know you're sorry. I forgive you, okay? I hurt you too by ignoring you for the entire day today. I'm really sorry too.” As I said that, I could tell that Seungkwan was gearing up to apologize. Again. So instead, I pulled him into another hug. 

Seungkwan pov:

Even though I was slightly mad at myself for crying (in Chan's arms for God's sake) even though it was my fault, I'm so glad Chan forgave me. But even after he pulled me into another hug, I still wasn't convinced. “But I hurt you! I said that you weren't skilled enough even though you work so hard. And I'm sorry! I really am sorry.” As soon as I finished saying that, Chan tightened his grip on me. “Listen to me, Boo Seungkwan. I forgive you, okay? Seriously, I know you didn't mean it and I forgive you. And I'm sorry for hurting you too.” I relaxed a little after that and he smiled brightly at me. “I'm still really sorry, okay?” I said and he sighed softly. “Stop apologizing, Seungkwan-ah.”

“But I'm sor-”

“Stop apologizing, Boo Seungkwan.” He looked so determined that I laughed lightly.

“Sorry.” Chan rolled his eyes exasperatedly and I punched his shoulder, albeit lightly. That resulted in him laughing loudly in surprise and oh . I had missed that sound so much. But of course, the moment had to be broken by the irritating tickle at the back of my sinuses. I felt my start to hitch again as my eyes fluttered shut. I turned away from Chan and cupped my hands over my nose and mouth. “hh'KtChuhHH!- Hhh…hhkTShuhHh!- hIH'ItShuHhh!-” I rubbed my wrist against my nose and turned back towards Chan. He looked at me, worry evident in his eyes. “Bless you. You need to rest, Seungkwan-ah.” I nodded immediately, tired out by everything. I internally thanked the universe for the lack of schedules we have for today. And tomorrow. Chan called out to Jeonghan hyung who had been waiting for Joshua; everyone else had left. “Hyung! Seungkwan hyung's sick. Can I take him home to rest?” Jeonghan looked up from his phone.  “Yeah, of course you can. Take care, Kwannie!” I nodded and smiled at him before gathering my stuff and walking with Chan out of the company building. The air outside was insanely cold even though it was only late September. I shivered involuntarily but since Chan's body was pressed against mine, of course he noticed. “Are you cold, hyung? I could drive us home if you don't wanna walk.” I nodded, slightly sheepish but Chan didn’t seem to mind. He decided to drive one of our company cars and I got into its passenger seat. As soon as we got in, Chan turned on the heater and patted my thigh, urging me to sleep. And I would've fallen asleep if we didn't reach the dorm so quickly (courtesy to Chan driving as fast as he could so that I could rest). After we entered the dorm, Chan immediately put a hand to my forehead. “You have a fever, Seungkwan-ah. Is that why you were so out of it today?” He asked and he looked slightly guilty. He felt guilty for ignoring me the entire day, I realized. I smiled at him. “I guess so. Don't worry, I'll be fine.” Chan sighed. “I know that. That doesn't mean I can't be worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, smiling fondly. “Well, if you're that worried about me, make me some kimchi jjigae!” Chan laughed loudly at that. “Okay. You go shower, I'll make you some kimchi jjigae.” “Deal.” I nodded at him before going into my room, getting some clothes and hopping into the shower. The shower did help with the pain all over my body but it also made the tickle in my sinuses grow by tenfold. When I got out of the shower, I saw a bowl of kimchi jjigae waiting for me on the table. I quickly took a seat, Chan following soon after. I ate in silence, too tired to actually say anything but Chan didn’t mind. After I finished, Chan cleared the table and led me into my room. I turned to him before entering. “Do you wanna cuddle with me?” I asked tentatively. Chan laughed, the sound echoing through the apartment. “Of course! Come on, hyung.” We lay next to each other on the bed, Chan's arms around me because of his annoying (read: endearing) habit of hugging things while he slept. Just when I was about to fall asleep, the tickle in my sinuses returned with full force. I tried to move away from Chan so as to not sneeze on him but before I could, he tightened his arms around me. “What is it? Are you gonna sneeze?” I nodded, my breath starting to hitch. Chan felt the bedside table near him and quickly took out a box of tissues. He took a few out and handed them to me. I took them gratefully, sitting up, as my eyes fluttered shut, breath hitching desperately. “hh'HiTkShuhHh!- hh'ItkShuHh!- hh'KtChuhHh!-” I groaned and blew my nose into the tissues before throwing them away and I swear I could hear Chan giggling as he wrapped his arms around me again. “You're gonna get sick.” I said to him and he pouted. "Bless you. And I don't care! We didn't talk the entire day today, the least you can do is let me cuddle you.” I laughed at his cheesiness and he laughed with me, pulling me back into a sleeping position.

Oh well, I guess you could say we were inseparable like that.

[kitishsnzes]

For context of anyone isn't familiar with the show: 

Georgie and Mandy slept together, she got pregnant, but they aren't "together" but throughout the show their relationship grows stronger. This is set after the baby is born and their relationship is really starting to grow. 

Mandy p.o.v 

I groaned softly hearing the baby cry. I opened one eye and saw that Georgie was already awake. I sighed softly, appreciating that he was trying to not wake me up. I climbed out of bed and followed the sound of crying and saw Georgie frantically trying to get the baby calmed down. "I think she's hungry" I said, startling Georgie. "Yeah, sounds bout right" he said softly, he passed the baby to me. "Sorry for wakin' you" Georgie said, his voice quiet. "It's fine. It was probably time for me to wake up anyways." He smiled, "I'll make breakfast" I smiled as I watched him leave. 

After I finished feeding the baby I went to the kitchen where Georgie was. He was standing with his back to me, I was about to call his name when he suddenly ducked towards his elbow, "hgtchh- eghtch- ngtch- hnktch" the sneezes were forcefully stifled and painful sounding. "Bless you" he flinched, "ah thank you" he said, sounding strangely almost guilty. "Are you okay?" He nodded, "doin fine" he smiled, but his face changed, and his eyes went unfocused, "hngxtch" I noticed him wince slightly, "that sounds painful" he shrugged slightly, then his eyes went crossed again, "maybe try not to stifle them" I suggested, trying to keep my voice gentle, he nodded, his breath hitched, "heTchu-hh-Ttchu- ehhtchu" 

"Bless you" 

"Thank you" he said, he sniffled and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "You okay Georgie?" He nodded, "just snf allergies" he said simply, he took a paper towel off the roll and blew his nose on it. I cringed slightly, "Allergies to what?" 

"Nature" he said with a laugh. "Did you take anything?" 

"Nah, don't do much" he said, he sniffled and took another paper towel off and held it to his face. "Ehtchu-! Hhh- ehh- hhh- Tchu-hhtchu" 

"Bless you" I gently patted his arm, "why do you stifle them, your sneezes aren't loud" 

"I don't know" he kinda laughed, "just always have. Sheldon used to give me hours of lectures on why it's bad for me." I laughed, he smiled. "Maybe you should just spend the day inside" I softly suggested, "can't, got work" he said, he sniffled, "You boss is your grandma, I think she'll understand" he shrugged, "I'll be fine. Used to it. Been happening every spring since I was a kid" he sniffled, his breath hitched, "ehh-tchu- hhtcHu- ektchshu! Tchu-" 

"Bless you" I patted his shoulder. He sniffled "breakfast is ready by the way" he said, "promise I didn't sneeze in the food." I smiled, he's adorable, I found myself thinking. He fixed a plate and set it at the table, "for you" he said with a cheeky smile. "Thank you" 

"You're very welcome" the two of us ate, the baby sat giggling in her highchair, waving around her doll. "She's adorable," he commented, looking at our daughter. I smiled, just like her daddy I thought, "she is" he leaned over and kissed her cheek, she giggled. He smiled at her, then looked at me, he smiled, "I gotta get to work. I'll see you this evening" and to my surprise he leaned over and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "Have a good day Mandy" he went to the door and slipped his shoes on. I was stunned. I didn't expect it at all. 

Georgie p.o.v 

I groaned and rubbed my nose as I stepped outside. I got into the car, before I started driving I took a napkin from the glove compartment and blew my nose, which triggered a handful of sneezes. I tossed the tissue into the ground and made a mental note to pick it up later so Mandy wouldn't chew me out for a messy car. I put the car into drive and drove to the laundromat. I pushed the door open. "Hey Georgie" my Meemaw said when she saw me, "hey!" I smiled and waved at her. My eyes were itchy and swollen. "Oh Lord, Georgie, it's that time of year?" She said, noticing how swollen my face was. I shyly nodded. "Why don't you go home?" 

"I can't. I need money. I'm tryna raise a child" she shook her head, "you go on home now" 

"But-" 

"No no, get your ass back home" she nudged me towards the door. "Alright" I sighed, I went back to the car and drove back home. I pushed open the front door, Mandy looked up from her book, "you're home early" 

"Meemaw sent me home" I explained, quickly grabbing a napkin as my nose twitched, "ehh-tchu- hhtcHu-ektchshu" 

"Bless-" 

"Not do-hh-hne-etchu ktChSh kiTsch"

"Bless you! You alright?" 

"I'm okay. My allergies aren't usually quite this bad" he said, he brought a fist to his face and sneezed twice. "Have you taken anything yet? I brought my hand up and gently rubbed his back. "It doesn't work" he said, his voice heavy with congestion. "Why don't you just give it a try. Especially with how much they're bothering you" I said softly. He sniffled in response. I frowned in sympathy. He looked so cutely pathetic with his red nose and puffy eyes. I kept one hand on his back and with the other I grabbed a few tissues from the box I found for him. I handed the tissues to him. "Thangs darlin" he said softly, he took the tissues. He blew his nose and rubbed at his eyes, which were red and swollen. "Mandy darling, can you do me a small favor." 

"Of course"

"Can you go to the bathr-hh-htchhu! Ehktchu- ktChSh snf bathroom and get my allergy medicine. It should be in the cupboard above the sink" I frowned, if he was feeling bad enough to ask me to get it for him he must be pretty miserable. "Sure I'll be right back" I went to the bathroom and found the medicine. It was exactly where he said it was, I brought it back, he thanked me. He took two pills out and swallowed them down, "I'm gonna wa-hh- arn- HhKtchu- TchHu- hheh-ktchuH-

"Bless you"

"Thanks. But I'll warn you, I get super tired when I take my allergy medicine. Makes me super sleepy" 

"That's fine"

"But I need to help with the baby, make food, and take care of you." I smiled, "it's okay Georgie. You're allowed to have off days or days when you're not at your best." 

"I know but-"

"No buts, you should go get some rest. You look dead in your feet." He glanced at the floor, "kinda feels like it too" he sniffled. "Go on and shower. Get all the pollen, dust and anything else off of you then go lay down" 

"Thanks Mandy" 

"No problem" 

[welcometogrouchland]

for the character ask, Willow and Amity!!!

Willow!

favorite thing about them: I love a lot of things about her! But for now I'll be a bit general and say her arc of continuing to get back up and prove people wrong. I wanna call it perseverance or strength, but it's more like stubbornness lmao. In the early episodes she's prone to defeatism and that's such a far cry from who she is now. She gained hope and belief in herself and leant into the righteous anger she felt watching people she loves be treated like dirt! AUGH I love her

least favorite thing about them: ooh not sure. Maybe that early episode defeatism? Both in an encouraging way where I want her to get back up but also in the sense of "GIRL THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT NOR THE END OF THE WORLD. TALK TO SOMEONE ABT THINGS!!!" You can see it a bit in for the future too where she interprets hunters ambiguous response ("I don't know") as negative. It's the warped self perception for me /j

favorite line: GRRR THAT'S HARD!! I'm not in encyclopedia mode rn but rn I'm thinking of some lines from Understanding Willow ("you said I was hurting Willow? I was just finishing what you started!" And "it's...a start"). uhh there's also "not if I never look down!" and "it'll be 52 weeks before Caleb's next day off"

brOTP: JUST ONE??? SHE HAS SO MANY GOOD FRIENDSHIPS MAN!!! But either her and Luz or her and Gus

OTP: sigh. Huntlow (I am predictable)

nOTP: her and Boscha. I wasn't in the fandom much during season 1 but I really never got it even back then. That is not a girl who's mean bc she likes you that is a highschool war criminal

random headcanon: OUGH I'VE HAD SO MANY OVER TIME AND NOW I'M BLANKING! Uhh would like magical girl anime (cardcaptor sakura and sailor moon specifically I think). Likes hyperpop and riot grrrl bc it releases her repressed rage and scratches her brain

Unpopular opinion: OKAY I get it. I also want willow to go apeshit, to have her catharsis and maim and kill. But some people characterize Willow as a lot more bitter than she is to compensate for this and I personally don't care for it, lol. It's Awful or anything it's just Not My Girl. She would not fucking say that

song i associate with them: CRIES. SO MANY!! Mona Lisa my mxmtoon

favorite picture of them:

^ this Dana pic!! There's more but I don't wanna make this any longer

Amity!

favorite thing about them: probably how far she's come from being a lonely, image obsessed girl who lashed out at others to a pretty silly but ultimately very emotionally mature person. She takes care of people more often now, while still having learned her lesson about respect and boundaries from labyrinth runners. Also her design/aesthetic

least favorite thing about them: bit wishy washy but a lot of the early season 1 scenes of her bullying Willow, Luz and Co are like. Hard for me to watch sometimes lol. Same with her and Willow in labyrinth runners. Mean girls just hit too close to home sometimes lol.

favorite line: ECLIPSE LAKE SPEECH HANDS DOWN!!! "There are people out there who won't make you feel worthless" SO PROUD OF HER. CRYING RN

brOTP: probably her and Willow since they have the most developed platonic relationship! But also her moments with Matt in for the future lmao (also Gus and Raine. In my head)

OTP: sigh. Lumity (I am predictable. Again)

nOTP: ooh I'm not sure I really have one! At least one that's based in personal squicks/opinions and not stuff like. Shipping her with men. If that's the case though, Amity/Hunter. Gag

random headcanon: she used to play piano as a kid! Was decent at it too even if she only got to play classical. But when she committed to abominations her mom cut her off of her lessons and pushed her away from it since there was no "practical use" for it anymore, not like Amity was going into the bard track. She gets back into it post-canon though :] would also like to jump off that starting point and play bass

unpopular opinion: hhh okay. While I think they could've made things more explicit/dwelled upon/whatever in order to communicate more clearly to the audience, I'm overall fine with the direction they took in Amity's "redemption arc". Bc like. She's just a highschool bully who's already being punished by her family when the audience can't see her. The solution to this would not be to punish her more. Maybe she should've gotten to talk things out more, somebody once pointed out that, in the main big redemption arcs in TOH, nobody really says sorry (ON SCREEN. Apologies are very much implied), just makes a gesture and does better, which I understand but also I like apologies they give closure. But overall I prefer them just giving her the chance to follow through on her promises.

song i associate with them: Babyface by fresh maybe?

favorite picture of them: I DONT HAVE IT RN BUT THE FACE SHE MAKES WHEN BOSCHA GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE IN FOR THE FUTURE AND SHE GOES "heh????" IT'S SO FUNNY

[cerebrobullet]

Sharpe's Prey Daily Book Report:

(my libby account is suffering rn lmao, because aaaaall my books on hold have been coming in but i know i will not be able to read anything except sharpe books until i've finished the series.)

new week, new book! very excited to see where this goes, since we start of pretty early with sharpe holding himself back from committing to a "manslaught it is" solution to his problem. just so he can trade that for a different, better manslaughter plan.

and now going to the workhouse, hhh wow, ok. so this book is just going to give me everything i've ever wanted in seeing sharpe face his childhood. that's... dhhf good. this is fine. even as an adult having killed and survived just So Much Shit, one fucker can make him freeze, just for a moment, because of how much Sharpe is being flooded by horrible memories. *chef kiss* thanks for the good food, cornwell.

of all things, my next planned fic specifically deals with Sharpe having to face down an old trauma in the worst way possible so i'm excited to have this as a frame of reference to help me make him handle it in an even more unhinged way.

also still a big fan of sharpe looking after children for any amount of time ;u;.

in gonna fucking bite and shake baird's spine like a dog toy for snapping at sharpe for crying over his dead wife and child.

haha i know lavisser is evil and manipulating sharpe through his grief over grace but also let the baby boy cry pls?

[cantalooprat]

The Disabled Tyrant's Pet Palm Fish

What I Liked

at the core it's just a simple story abt how being a good person can bring about good changes and a happy life, a very fairytale-like sort of story. it's very happy and idealistic, a smooth feel-good read.

how mu tianchi also gained the ability to turn into a fish and they r an entire happy fish family swimming in their gigantic fishpond... what a sweet ending, it's what they rly deserve.

li yu is just such a good kid. it's like, he's an ordinary kid with no particular abilities but he's a good, kind-hearted kid and his sincerity rly got through to the "tyrant". he's kind of dumb but at the same time i can see why mu tianchi rly fell in love w him.

mu tianchi... one of the most loving doting sort of gong i've encountered. sometimes i feel like he's way too good for li yu but like also li yu is most definitely his treasure for basically turning his life around so i can def see how he fell in love. all in all these two make a v sweet couple, the love story just makes sense n it's a lovely read.

im always happy when the transmigration is uh "explained", the visit to the modern world was a sweet finishing touch ig, even if it does seem a wee bit rushed. i appreciate that they both also got to greet li yu's dead parents and grandparents, and mu tianchi got to experience firsthand li yu's original world.

hehe the merman scene when li yu showed off his beautiful silver gold tail and entranced mu tianchi all over again... his merman form is rly definitely beautiful, like even i felt that when reading... n then they even boned like man this couple sure is kinky

happy feesh family...

no rly im super happy that mu tianchi also gained a fish form. i wonder if they get up to naughty things in their fish forms... how does that even work...

also the little bit abt qiu-shi and her cat piao xue... i think this author just rly likes animals or sth, but i like that bit abt how she prob tried to release piao xue to give it a better life but piao xue chose to come back to her bc it loves its owner!! n that she took revenge on chu yanyu bc he tried to harm her cat. i like that it makes her seem more humane, like even the most evil ppl have their bottom lines.

What I Disliked

LI YU BEING SILLY sometimes i wanna smack this guy over the head bc he's rly so dumb sometimes lmao

it felt strangely draggy at times, like 150 ch is like 50 ch too long for some of the plotlines??? like theres no fillers but somehow i feel like it's a bit too long for sth so smooth sailing. but like most plot threads r wrapped up well i think, so it's not rly an issue.

how perfunctory the author was abt li yu's background lmao like the dude rly is super ordinary, he's just an orphan w no real ties to his "current" life so he's perfectly ok transmigrating into a fish and marrying n uh birthing the tyrant's children...

Notes

it's a very happy story but for some reason i cried at the end. even though it's very happy. or should i say... precisely it's because it's very happy? or mb i just cry too easily at stories these days hhh there rly is nothing to cry abt in this wn tho? it's so sweet.

[nonsensical-twistedriddles]

21 - noctambulist

hello hello ! i’m happy to see that you like my writing style and, of course we could be buddies (us newbies gotta stick together) o(TヘTo) くぅit took me a while to figure out the flow of this piece so hopefully you’ll end up liking what i’ve scrounged up for you ! good luck with yours too and stay safe! i’m worried i rushed the ending again hh

📝to note: this is a repost because the initial post somehow got deleted ! the “you” in this story will be taking up the mc role ! also, we’re past 100 followers for this blog ! thank you so much to everyone who’s been supporting me and reading my work, this means a whole lot to me・゜(。┰ω┰。).・゜i don’t have anything in mind right now for a special so, if it’s alright with everyone, i’d like to ask for a few suggestions in regards to this |ω；｀) i haven’t much of a clue on what to do to be honest since this is my first time having a writing blog｡

【 𝔫𝔬𝔠𝔱𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 ; malleus draconia : “ do you, too, dream of me ? “ after returning you to your world, malleus can’t help but feel as though he has lost something. 】

★ warnings: angst, post-overblot ★ 🎵  playlist - i handpicked a few songs for you all to listen to while you read !  ★

━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━

“You’re the only one who can do it,” the wind was playing with your hair, obscuring your face from his eyes though he knew that you were smiling at him. You always smiled at him. “I don’t-,” he starts but cuts himself off. His face scrunches up in pain and reluctance, making him look away in fear of seeing you disappointed. He tries again to tell you but every word in his mouth tastes like goodbye. His expression closes and suddenly he realizes he’s shaking.

Gingerly your fingers reach out to him, pausing when they’re merely inches away from his arms as if hesitating; thinking he’d break at their touch, until you’re finally pulling him into your warm embrace and he presses his cheek onto the top of your head. “I know,” you say tenderly. “I know,” Your arms squeeze him, telling him that you did know. The very thought of that makes his breath hitch and soon the tears he’s been trying desperately to hold back run down from his eyes and into your hair. 

“I know.”

——————————⋆

Memories came to him in half-formed faded dreams, leaving him bleary eyed and distant in the morning. He tries to keep going; attending his classes, eating lunch with his dorm members, doing and finishing his homework, wandering off into the abandoned parts of the premises; everything he did before, but his eyes muddle the world around him, giving him the impression that he’s not actually there but instead drifting into the undulating waves of a cold endless sea.

How are you?

The only time when he’s feeling alive is when he’s sleeping and dreaming. Most of them were about you or, well, how you were to him when he saw you and talked with you. He realizes now that, despite spending a lot of time with you in school, he didn’t know you as much as he thought he did. He could easily tell anyone what you looked liked if asked and deduced from the way you’d go out of your way just to hang out with him that you thought of him as your friend.

Was he your friend?

The question plagues him for days. Along with it, the subtle pressure to move on. Both are heavy weights on his shoulders and yet, he stubbornly refuses to entertain either, in fear of uncovering some dark twisted truth inside that’ll uncoil and taut the only connection he has of you left in him. 

Would you tell him?

——————————⋆

The panic comes to him in slow suffocating chunks, consuming his every breath until it tastes of nothing but ash and brimstone. He bellows as the world splits open, thrusting him into a cold and silent brightness that he can longer fill with the crying of his heart. Frightened by the emptiness and filled with a raging hellfire, he unfurls his shimmering leathery vans and lets the ground from under him crumble with a single beat. Thorns sprout out from the cracks, twisting, turning and slithering its way into the surrounding area, abetting the reverberating voice inside his head that dragooned him into engulfing the world in darkness, flames and thunderstorms.

As chaos ensued, he lets himself look up to the sky as if in search of something, or someone. “If I cannot transcend this emptiness and touch your hand一,” another voice, so broken and soft, whispered to him softly, “-then there is no need for this world to exist.”

——————————⋆

Hyperemotionality was a part of human composition. Nearly all of the fairies, believing themselves to have a higher sense of logicality when compared to their weaker counterparts, viewed this as nothing more than irrational detritus to be disposed of in order to keep the rationality and correctness of the mind but as time went on, converts started emerging from the masses with their strayed beliefs from the old philosophies, declaring that love (the most prominently destructive of all human emotion) was not something to be cast aside in arrogance and fear of the unknown.

He used to scoff at these nonconformists, thinking them foolish for fighting for something that inspired deformation of structure and irregularities— but then, he met you.

You were someone who let his guard down with gentleness and trust and made him experience things he has never experienced before.

He fell in love.

He slams his hand onto the wall, thump! There was no need to think of you now, not with the risk of him unwinding his thorned heart. Wiping out his mind of thoughts of you, he lets himself revert back to the shell of a living being he was left as and continues on with his day.

Can I come see you?

——————————⋆ 

Gentle hands press against the rough edged surface of his face, reaching out to him in his haze. “Malleus.” 

The voice is familiar, though for some reason he wasn’t sure where he’s heard it before. It calls to him again, louder and closer, enveloping him in warmth. He searches for its source frantically, afraid of losing it in the vastness until finally a shape emerges from the darkness. He blinks, his green beady eyes fixed on your relieved face smiling at him with tears running down your cheeks. “Y/N.” Your name comes out of him more like a question than a statement; his voice uncertain. You laugh as you press your forehead against his. “Yes.” you say, bringing his face closer until your noses touch. A moment passes before he exhales, laughing as you do with tears brimming the corner of his eyes.

He falls to his knees before you, shakily taking your hands and holding them to his face. The world blurs and mutes, leaving him with only the sight of you in front of him and the sound of your voice in his ears. He says your name again, this time easing himself into the recognition of the sound of it and knowing that there was nothing in the world beyond you and him in this moment.

——————————⋆ 

He was grateful for Lilia and the others for always being there to assist him. Their normalcy was an anchor that kept him from straying into the waters of contemplation. 

“Urgh, I think I’m coming down with something,” Sebek says from across the lunch table, looking undeniably pale and queasy. Silver flashes him a look of concern while Lilia, who was beside Malleus, perks up at this and smiles at Silver. “Is that so? Well, we can’t have you up and about now can we,” he says, “Why don’t you just call it a day and rest in your room. I’ll make sure to take care of you later and bring you some soup!”

Silver chokes, as if abruptly reminded of something. “You know what,” Sebek smiles nervously, “I was about to do that but now I think I’m starting to feel a little better.”

Sebek’s words, ‘-starting to feel a little better’ ring inside his head. It startles him at first, unsure of what it would do, but soon he lets out a small smile, for once feeling unbothered by the thought of it.

Are you feeling better as well?

——————————⋆ 

He emerges into a street filled with strange looking multicoloured vehicles in between what seems to be heavily windowed buildings that reflect him in all of his monstrous and scaly glory. He lets himself be awed by the peculiarity of its glaring surface for a moment before looking away and craning his neck around in search of the man you showed him with your memories. People around him point and shriek, some with phone cameras pointed at him, though he pays them no heed. You did warn him that his kind was not something regularly seen prancing about.

When he finally spots him in the crowd, gaping, not at him but at the figure in his hands, Malleus bends down and slowly reverts back in front of him with you sleeping peacefully in his arms. He didn’t know who he was; whether he was a familial relative or a friend or your lover but calmly, he walks up and brings his arms out to him. “They’re tired but okay,” he says, staring at the man before him who was already crying at the sight of you. Without needing to ask, Malleus gently hands you over to him. He thanks Malleus, though it was barely understandable with all the sobbing that he was doing, then brushes the hair out of your face. He watches the two of you for a while, letting the ache and regret sink in before closing his eyes and reluctantly turning away. The portal opens almost immediately, much to his dismay and expectantly swirls in front of him. He wonders, as he steps into it, if it was truly better for him to leave without saying goodbye. There was little chance that he’d see you again but some part of him didn’t want to hear you say it.

Concluding that their was no longer any reason to think about the what-ifs, he grants himself one last time to see you and smiles bitterly. “Take care of them.” he says before the portal shuts.

——————————⋆ 

Memories were as addictive as emotions. It was hard for him to accept to have loved and missed you, especially when you continued to plague his dreams. Sometimes, he even wished that he could be reborn again and again, just to see you in the days of the past. As time went on, he let the knot in his chest unravel and the weight on his shoulders lighten with the thought of you happy and enjoying life in your own world. 

It’ll be okay

He can almost hear you say it.

I wonder, he thought to himself, do you, too, dream of me?

He may never know the answer to that question but, one thing’s for sure, that was going to be alright with him.

[a5tr0n0m1cal]

You ever find a fic where the concept is so intriguing, the story is rich and full of detail, and everything is so good and you’re super excited to see what happens next and....oh...that’s it...and it was last updated THREE YEARS AGO-

[vakonawaa]

made my friend watch the deathnote musical the other day so i have brainrot again anyways im going to draw L

[violexides]

I FINALLY FINISHED LOVESICK

[nctsplug02]

in need of tattoo artist yuta smut

[7:02pm]

genre: fluff and smut

as you let out a sigh, yuta sits up and giggles.

“finished.” he says turning the machine gun off and admiring his work.

you exhale deeply, your eyes were so droopy from how long he took. “can i see what you did?” yuta licks his lips and takes a quick picture.

he hands his phone to you with a smuggly smirk.

“yuta?!” you yell when seeing the tattoo he did on your ass. “yuta?? you—?! ugh, you asshole!” yuta giggles while wrapping your tattoo up.

“what?? isn’t it cute? i think it’s hot.” yuta says placing the tape down on the wrap.

“property of yuta??” you say what the tattoo said once and yuta laughs. “property of yuta?! this is what i get for letting you pick my tattoo out!” you groan— more like cry out.

yuta smacks your ass that wasn’t tattooed. “it’s hot—you have to admit it, it is.” he helps you up and pats your head when seeing your pouty face.

“oohh, if i was able to tattoo, i’d tattoo a dick on your forehead!” yuta laughs with his jaw dropped. “over that?! baby, yours isn’t even bad!” he protests, pulling your waist.

“yeah yeah, shut up.” you rolls your eyes, pushing yourself off the man and then going to the body mirror where you then checked yourself out.

you tilt your head, glazing over the tattoo. “i guess.. i guess it isn’t too bad.. it’s kind of cute.” yuta laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. “you.. hhh, i told you.” he sighs.

——

smack.

“property,”

smack.

“of,”

smack.

“yuta.”

he finishes with another harsh smack.

“no— no more, yuta!” you cry out as he smacks over your healed tattoo several times. “awwee, why not, baby? cant handle a little pain?” he teases then continues smacking your ass again, adding another hand print on your already reddened ass.

your hair drooping in front of your face as yuta pounds into from behind. “property of yuta..” he whispers, thumb brushing over your tattoo.

“property of yuta.. fuck, baby.” yuta gets so turned on by the tattoo and starts pounding into you more.

you. the property of yuta.

[inkyquince]

hhh okay, deep cleaning bUT

just briar... You were assaulted during your performance. You're not badly hurt but you're crying as you stumble back towards the dressing rooms, the other workers unable to do anything other than patting your shoulder.

You sit, slumped in your seat, tears ruining the makeup your colleagues insisted you wear, saying it brought out your eyes, and made your lips look... "perfect for cock sucking", to quote directly. Guess they did their job too well.

You sniff and drag your forearm over your lips, smearing it further, mixing the color with the opaque cum spattered across your face.

"Wonderful performance, darling. Next time, maybe, try to get them to pay you." Briar's rich voice startles you. He's mocking you. As per usual. "My, the sight of you."

Briar swaggers closer, his robe fluttering slightly behind him as he walks closer. His fingers pinch your chin, yanking your face up to him. His teeth glint in the low light as he surveys your face.

"Come now, darling. The show must go on."

Briar picks up the eyeliner and cups the side of your face, leaning down slightly to admire the ruined make up before drawing over it, letting the water marks stay as he simply reapplies the color. It irritates your puffy skin but you don't move. You just watch your boss, his dark chestnut hair framing his face beautifully.

After finishing the eye make up, the delicately sets it back down before his fingers skim over your colleague's make up selection.

"She's an idiot." Briar muses. "That color did nothing for you. I always thought this... This one is far prettier for those lips. Pout for me, darling."

He rubs his thumb over your mouth, rubbing the smeared make up off a bit more before applying the new color.

"There." He smiles as he finishes.

Briar cups the back of your neck and leans down, pressing his own soft lips against yours, bitten and traces of cum still on them. His mouth slots perfectly with yours, as his thumb strokes the nape of your neck. He pulls away, your lipstick now mirrored on his lips. He looks beautiful.

"Pretty thing." He murmurs. "Cone to my office, baby. Let's get you cleaned up."

Briar ducks his head once more, kissing you his teeth barely grazing your swollen bottom lip.

[sluttywonwoo]

oh my god that sub vernon sub reader double ended dildo ask... jesus Christ... just imagine seungcheol being the one to dom you both and he orders you guys to make out and rub against each other as he watches and jacks off !!!! ah !! vernon & reader end up crying from begging and not getting enough relief HHH pls i need help

vernon would be crying out of desperation, begging cheol to let him fuck you. and you’d be in a similar state, humping vernon’s thigh like your life depended on it. you’d both be so needy and seungcheol would just be smirking cruelly down at the both of you, enjoying the power he had over you way too much. he’d finally give vernon permission to fuck you, but warn you both not to cum without asking him. he’d sit in the armchair across from the bed and take his cock out, stroking it lazily as he watches the scene play out. when you notice him you’d beg him to join you, to use your mouth, but he’d refuse, insisting that you could only handle one cock at a time. you don’t think that was true, but you wouldn’t argue with him because you wanted to cum so badly that you couldn’t risk talking back. vernon would be babbling nonsense at this point, tears streaming down his face from the effort it was taking not to cum. he’d be trying to slow you down, but you would be too desperate and caught up in your own pleasure to listen to his pleas… bouncing on his cock was hard and as fast as you could. finally cheol would tell you both that you could cum and it’d hit vernon immediately. he’d tense up underneath you and groan as he came in your pussy and you’d play with your clit until you were cumming with him, throwing your head back as you cursed cheol’s name. seungcheol would make you watch as he finished himself off, asking you to keep vernon’s cockwarm while he did. poor vernon would be so oversensitive that feeling you clench around his cock as you watched his leader jerk off would be too much. the tears would well up all over again and he’d be torn between begging you to stop and begging you to keep going

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 14

(...) some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. it's crazy to me that laurent probably wouldn't even have gone violent over this, if it had happened

As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. well, okay, damen doesn't seem to agree with my assessment above lol

jord is probably the least hateful person in all of the kingdoms <3

In the men’s eyes the feat was reflected as the wild, impossible thing it was—their Prince vanishing for two days, then appearing out of the night with a sackful of prisoners thrown over his shoulder, tossing them at the feet of his troop and saying: You wanted them? Here they are. honestly, laurent and damen both sound terrifying lol

'Thirty to one, at least,’ said Damen. love how he made sure to mention that hhh

Paschal snorted. Then he said, ‘It’s a good thing you’re doing, standing with him. Staying with him, when you have no love for this country. i really don't think i'll be able to handle laurent finding out who damen is :(

It would not be like this again. man, damen makes me so sad. i know he wants to be home more than anything, but it also feels kind of wistful, the way he thinks about these past few weeks. as usual, my heart aches for him

'Here,’ said Damen. ‘Let me.' damen recognizing how exhausted laurent is and immediately offering his help... i'm crying

'Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. "casually"... right

Laurent said, ‘The soldiers in Kastor’s army are trained in massage?' haha he's so lippy

'Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. i love this <3 but also, damen does not think of himself as having suicidal impulses? "i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart" was literally the first thing he said to laurent lol

i wish laurent could let himself be comfortable :( obv i know why he can't, but i feel so sorry for him every time he tries to hide all of his emotions/physical reactions/etc.

ohhh damen is such a softie

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.' (...) oh god. i love him so much. i forget sometimes that he's... 19? 20? and he's been entirely on his own for so long, left alone with his trauma that he hasn't had the chance to work through because he's been preoccupied with trying to avoid being killed by his uncle... it's painful to think about why he is the way he is

'Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”' i don't know how to express how much i love this sentence

'I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time. (...) I LOVE THEM. i love their conversations so much. never a dull moment, so much angst, so much pain, but they match each other so well that there's always a bit of hope for a better future for both of them too <3

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.' does damen ever think about what he wants to do before he does it???

'No. Wait. I . . . wait.' laurent is SO different around damen that sometimes i genuinely can't comprehend that this is the same laurent from book 1

'What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.' auguste !!! (also, what an abrupt change of subject...? interesting. and, of course, fuck govart and the regent and anyone else who's ever burdened laurent with all of these stupid rumors. how fucking gross of his uncle, when it was him all along, to lie like this. plus, if he's using i*ncest/p*edophilia as a means to ruin laurent's repuation, then that means he knows what he's been doing to all of these boys is disgusting, so...???? i don't get it. he's the fucking worst and i want him to die.)

'I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.' i am about to cry. these books are ruining me :(

(...) 'You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed. WHAT. WHAT????? oh my god i AM crying lol

this is so fucking sad i feel so horrible for laurent

also, what a HUGE compliment????

incredible that all this time, laurent has been beginning to really appreciate damen and damen didn't even realize :((((

i had to put this book down for a moment lol

Laurent said steadily, ‘I have your oath that you will see this border skirmish through to its end? Then you have mine: stay with me until this thing is done, and I will take off the cuffs and the collar. I will release you willingly. We can face each other as free men. Whatever is to fall out between us can do so then.' i am SO sad. i don't want them to separate and i absolutely do not want them to fight each other :(

god. what a chapter.