#fingerprickingood

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First time for everything

So for the first time today I stupidly injected way too much for the amount of carbs I was going to eat for breakfast.

I woke up with fasting blood sugar of 200 mg/dl (11.1 mmol/L to the rest of world) so I injected... but I didn't eat quick enough and didn’t eat nearly enough to counter balance.  Lately I just haven’t been as hungry as I normally am and I’m putting it down to how bloody hot and humid it is at the moment in Dubai.

So anyway, my stupidity cost me my focus at work for the half of the day until I could get a grip of myself again which wasn’t until well after my lunch time. It just felt like I was walking against an invisible weight. So heavy. So exhausting.

I couldn’t wait to get home and relax and get my shit together to do it all over again tomorrow.

P.S I definitely learnt my lesson

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Could not love this more

How perfect is this? Isn’t it amazing how small that space is where we get to feel normal, and how hard we have to work just to fit into that tiny space? Baffling. 

[mabgravesart]

#mabsdrawlloweenclub Day 3: Vampire This one goes out to my #sickgirlsclub too 💕My little Tallulah. Just like humans, 9.4% of Vampires have diabetes too. You don’t normally hear about it, but it’s true. Before she eats (or anytime she starts feeling woozy) Tallulah checks her blood sugar. Her sister Farrah sewed special pockets in her skirts to carry her meter and insulin. She used to be scared of needles, but her best friend Sue taught her how to do it and was so brave, now Tallulah knows how to prick her finger like a pro! #diabetesawareness #mabgraves #drawlloween #vampire #diabetesempowered For an awesome diabetes support page follow @fingerprickingood. Big love to all my #sickgirlsclub pals 💕💉💕

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Ch-Ch-Changes!

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The real reason I can’t have nice things

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For the first time since I fell sick and diagnosed, my boyfriend took me out for dinner at a beautiful restaurant. It’s got to be close to two months. 

He has tried to get me out many times in between then, but I’ve always put it off either because I’ve been feeling tired and/or sick or because I just don’t feel like myself. I put on so much weight in the year since my symptoms really started, reaching almost 89kg at peak of sickness.  Due to Ketoacidosis, I shed 6kg in 15 days (not ideal obvs), and since then have lost 2 more kilos. I’ve felt so proud of myself for losing this extra weight in a healthy way and it’s starting to give me a fresh feel about myself.

We put on nice clothes, I washed my hair. I looked like a proper human being.

I decided that I would try to get on the wine train since my usual go-tos, being ciders and spirits are full of extra sugars and carbs that I ideally want to avoid when I can. Unfortunately I just can’t get my head around wine, but I’m going to persevere in the hope that my taste buds eventually give in (if anyone has any tips or recommendations about getting into wine, let me know).

We had a beautiful meal, I drank half a glass of wine (achievement), we talked and enjoyed just being together for the first time in a while. It was so refreshing. I even indulged in a chocolate soufflé! 

It all felt deliciously normal and for the first time ever, I actually feel like I’ve got this.

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Catch ups

It’s been ages since I’ve written anything here. 

I’ve been meaning to, but sometimes I still find it hard to put all feels in words.

In terms of blood sugar, the instability is still in the same place, but I feel like I’ve been able to trust my judgement a lot more. I’m pretty good at being able to identify my symptoms early enough to treat it before it gets too serious.  I really feel like this has helped me become more confident when at work as well, even though I have at least one low a day, I know I can push through still and do my job. Yes I’m tired. Yes I probably don’t look ok. But I can still do the job with a smile on my face.

I decided to do something drastic to my hair since the last time I wrote anything. When I first met my hairdresser she said to me,

“when a girl changes her hair, it means she’s about to change her life” 

It really stuck with me since then (thanks Gem). So as I sat down in the chair and looked at myself, I made a conscious decision to take a deep breath and make peace with all the shitty things that have been happening in my personal and professional life, let go of what I can’t control and make best of the situations that I can.  When she revealed her magic work, I looked so different. It made me feel fresh and renewed and ready for my new outlook. 

I’ve also had my first Hb1c tests done recently, when first diagnosed, my levels were over 10, my first results since then came back as 6.3! I was pretty happy with it as I was expecting the number to be much higher.  I’ve been making a real effort to eat well and often. I’ve been losing weight slowly and healthily. I used to feel so yucky all the time - extreme tiredness and always bloated, but now even though I always feel tired, I feel like I have more energy than before.  I’m also so much more patient and relaxed like I was before I began showing symptoms for diabetes. I feel like I’m evening out a lot more and I hope it keeps getting better from here.

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This is the highest I’ve been in weeks.

Usually I’m on the hypo side of the spectrum since being diagnosed and since being in my honeymoon period I’ve had relatively good levels (being between 90-120).

Tonight I didn’t really think about taking any extra insulin before eating a slice of my birthday cake and eating a baked potato and a swig of soft drink since I’ve been pretty low all day, being 90 mg/dl before eating. I was wondering why I was getting a headache so decided to take a test and BOOM! 

But being hyper doesn’t scare me as much as hypos do though. I don’t experience them often, but what I usually do if I’m high is sit in the bath for 20 minutes which will bring me down at least 50 mg/dl quickly or I’ll go for a 20-30 minute walk that will bring me down even more at a pretty steady pace (though at this point I might do both tonight to be on the safe side).

It’s times like these that proves to myself that I really am T1D and that it isn’t a huge mix up, and even though I’m in my honeymoon period I still have to think bout my choices (if it’s a special day I should still be considering the sugar content in what I’m eating and bolus for it).

P.S the cake was worth the sugar spike 

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Quarter of a century

Yesterday was my birthday (May the Fourth be with you)

It was a difficult day for me, filled with anxiety and fluctuating blood sugar for the first time in 5 days.

But on the plus side, I got to spend it riding my golden girl, Bodima and later having a BBQ with friends and family. 

AND I got to eat my first bit of ice cream for the first time since my diagnosis ;)

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Story of my life

Why is it that sometimes I can feel a hypo coming on, I take my blood and I’m at 101? 

Um excuse me body, but you f*cked up and let my pancreas die, the least you could do for me is be accurate in telling me when my blood sugar is dropping. Kindly get your shit together please.