#fine you don't have to believe me
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I used to smell absolutely ripe even an hour after showering because all I did all day was rot in my bed and be depressed. Now I'm a farmer and I sweat all day, and even if I only wash my bits and not my pits for days, i don't have any BO whatsoever. Life is good.
#yes i should shower more than every couple of days#I'm just so tired from farming#but it's okay#cause I wash my junk and my face#and i swear to fucking god I smell like nothing#you're reading this like ummmmmm honoey you DO smell you just can't tell#fine you don't have to believe me#I know#try it#be a farmer#Yes I'm still depressed but it's way harder to be depressed when you work in the sun all day#manual labour and mindless tasks like hoeing and broadforking or even doing the dishes are considered the poor man's emdr#who could have guessed doing hard things makes life easier to bear if they're the right hard things for you#you don't have to be a farmer#like i said earlier#just find the thing that makes you feel this way iike doing people's nails or making art or canoeing or doing marathons#i recommend some form of moving your body within your capacity and talking to people#there's microbiology behind the BO thing by the way I'm not just talking out of my ass#the ass that I wash#I started washing my butt all the time and anytime I want#even outside of the shower#and it changed my life btw#join the butt washer's club it's very fulfilling#my roommate is in the club#and my roommate's mom overseas#and a lot of other countries actually
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Seastone negates devil fruit abilities.
#tony tony chopper#monkey d luffy#hito hito no mi#chopper#i have been thinking about this idea for a while#chopper is fascinating to me and i believe we should lean into his animal-ness more rather than make him a baby#i hate when people treat chopper like a baby#don't worry they'll both be fine#the crew is on the way#before you come after me about devil fruits not working like this#this is a fun speculative little thing and reactions to seastone in OP are inconsistent anyways
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WHERE IS HE D:
(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇♂️🙇♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)
#HARRY NO#CROWLEY THIS ISNT FUNNY#CROWLEYYYYYYYY#this was hilarious in my head#it's even more hilarious now#don't worry Harry is safe#Crowley is just simply in the mood for giving his angel a teensy weensy heart attack#or maybe he's just processing the question#maybe he's trying to locate the rabbit by using his ✨snaky sense✨#nahhh he knows where the rabbit is he's just messing around#(he had to watch Aziraphale practice his amazing magic tricks for the entire week leading up to this)#(can you blame him for doing some ✨magic tricks✨ of his own)#(he's a fast learner okay)#(he sure can make rabbits disappear)#(THE RABBIT IS FINE I SWEAR)#(YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME)#(WHEN HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU)#(AM I NOT TRUSTWORTHY GUYS?????)#Crowley what do you mean “blelele”#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable idiots#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#harry the rabbit
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what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?
it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".
i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.
the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.
it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.
tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.
#ramble#ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared#this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops#sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news#i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION#because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans#so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong#i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong'#but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't#especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything#i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people#all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain#i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused#nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns#anyway this was long. that's the story
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Have you seen the recent comment made by Jelly Fish Field on your itch page for Project Hadea. I just read it, and found their view really interesting and extremely important criticism on how you've decided to write certain reactions. I love your writing a lot, so it was extremely eye opening what they wrote. What i'm getting at is, I would just like to hear your feedback on that specific comment! all love, and I do hope this won't be taken the wrong way!
I've seen it, yeah. and... okay, I've discussed my reasons for not using rape as a content warning before, and I stand by them; I'm not revisiting any discussion on what does and does not constitute rape. the content is warned for, by specifics of what occurs in the text, to give people the chance to make the most informed decision they can about whether to play. that's it.
as for the rest of it... there's things in there that I understand. I get being frustrated that you can't fully explore the extent of the operative's trauma, yet; I get feeling like the rest of the crew don't trust you, or like rohan is a bitch. they don't, and xe is.
the thing that I find disagreeable about a lot of these criticisms (and similar ones) is that I think they betray a fundamental misreading of the text: the operative is a war criminal. they are heavily armed, unstable, and trapped on a ship with civilians. they kill multiple civilians in chapter one; they might well attempt to kill rohan in front of everyone, and later succeed in doing so. they are a confirmed murderer, who by and large refuses to tell the civilians why they are so angry with rohan. this is by design.the focus of this story is very much about coming to terms with your trauma - from long before you meet rohan! you've been medically experimented on, had your personhood denied for a long time, and had any kind of human empathy stamped out of you. part of the point of the game is for me to explore how trauma can be expressed in ways that are deeply unpalatable - the operative is not a "perfect victim" (a phrase I loathe) and their trauma impacts the way they move through the world, drawing out reactions that aren't wholly sympathetic or empathetic, because their actions are often unjustified and cause real harm, or seem that way to those who don't have full context.
this is why joia is important, this is why your relationships with the crew are important. the crew aren't intended to be author voices, they're not the moral compass here or audience stand-ins: they aren't supposed to represent the "correct" approach to dealing with other people's trauma. no character in this situation is intended to be seen as perfect, but as a way to shine light on different facets of the story.
the operative is built a very specific way, for very specific reasons: this is intentional. they are a person who has been deliberately dehumanised, used as a weapon, who volunteered and fought for the right to be a scientific guinea pig for the war crimes company, in order to be of greater use to said company. they have had their bodily autonomy violated so habitually, for their whole career - they have been coercively used as a test subject by their employer - that they can't see it as an abnormal violation. this isn't to say it is justified, or to diminish the traumatic impact rohan has, but... it's not the operative's first rodeo here, even if it's the player's.
they're bad at processing their emotions. the operative Does Not Cry: this is a character choice I have made. this is because they have had that emotional response beaten out of them. the operative isn't capable of taking their own trauma seriously, because they're not equipped to deal with it. they can't look at it head-on.
likewise, nash isn't capable of being a gentle, reassuring, sympathetic person, much as they might want to; a big part of that relationship is the idea that the pair of you have to relearn to how to relate to one another in your new contexts, and that isn't a smooth process. nash also has reasons to be reticent with you that are yet to be explored - this relationship is undergoing development, with both of you as violent people who commit violent acts, and who relate through violence. your relationship is built on your capacity to commit violence together. they are not equipped to deal with violence affecting you in the way it might someone else, because you've both spent the last ten years being conditioned and trained to assault other people. part of the theme of this game is to explore the way these people might experience a uniquely traumatic violent event, and the effect this might have on their own capacity to endure and process violence again themself.
I understand that it might not be the way people want to play their characters, but it's the way the character is written, and I am doing that on purpose. all I'm asking is that you trust me when I say that this is not going to be swept under the rug, even in the least volatile relationship you can have with rohan. if that's not possible for you - if you can't trust me to do this - then you're welcome to stop playing.
#honestly i think a lot of the criticisms in that post come from wanting to play a different game.#if you don't like joia: this game is not for you#if you dislike all the characters: this game is not for you#if you believe wholeheartedly that sex under false pretences is always rape. then it is in fact warned for#i always appreciate feedback but this was so comprehensively complaining about every aspect of the game that i have to assume#that they just didn't like it#which is fine! but i'm not going to change everything about it; especially the things that are very intentional and thematic#anon#long post#sorry. got away from me
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is this a safe space to admit i really don't even like the lines in lucanis' first romance scene where he says something like "perfectly gathered clouds of doom" . but that does not stop me from loving him very much. i'm choosing to see this as a guy who is the terrible combo of reads romance novels, has never had a romantic relationship before AND his definition of 'good flirt' is synonymous with 'illario' so he's got an incorrect definition of what's actually romantic. the less lucanis is specifically trying to be romantic the more he becomes irresistible but i don't think he's caught onto that yet
#like . LIKE. it makes sense to me that this is him trying extremely hard to make his attraction known before he overthinks it and leaves#as always i find a way to sneak illario into this conversation but the point stands#like the romance line is not corny if theres a reason that he's being so wildly corny. i have to believe this#i am also saying irresistible > romantic because he has some crazy lines in the romance#thats not romantic. but its genuinely like oh god here comes the yearner he's going to yearn all over the place#the discussion after the first part of act 3 for example.#'i thought i was never going to see you again' 'you're here. you're really here. i swear'#<- that is not lucanis flirting. that is lucanis being so unbelievably earnest with those stupid brown eyes that it just gets you#and the 'i've got you don't i?' 'you do' in act 3 too#<- and i dont even think this one is romance specific#theres a point to this .i just dont think he's naturally romantic#buuut. some of the more 'innocuous' lines that are part of his romance that are not overt flirting have such incredible acting/animation#which allows me to expand the mind palace. and he digs himself a little deeper into my heart#lucanis dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#dav#txt#'ur walking a bit too close to the edge 😈' and tyche's first thought in her mind is VIRGIN? but she likes him for him so its fine
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TLDR
Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.
"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.
"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"
Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.
"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.
And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.
And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!
You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.
#I can't believe some of ya'll are making me a BillDip Shipper again for your horribly cruel takes#Gravity Falls#BillDip#Dipper Pines#Bill Cipher#Billford#and I am not tagging both ships to start 'drama' or mock anyone#this applies to all ya'll right now#This is probably what gets me hate mail finally#but i have to say it#I'm a proshipper#and I'm sorry but I think a lot of you don't actually understand what that means#And I'm really sick of some of the stuff I've been seeing recently in the Gravity Falls tag#If you wanna block me or unfollow me#that's fine#just please think what I've said through before you decide to say something mean#Rant#Rant Post#I admit I'm scared to post this#but I'm also angry enough to have written it down
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companionship and understanding happy pride from my beloveds!!
open for better quality | no reposts
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#genshin impact#fanart#myart#doodle#at first i was like 'i hope yall don't get tired of me posting so often' and then i remembered this other artist whose art i enjoy-#and they post often too but i love having so much of their art to scroll through so. i'm not worried anymore hahaha#i actually struggled so much w/ the composition here!! but i let it sit for a day and came back to change the frame and now it's fine#and i know i've drawn angst before but when i draw smth like this i always make it a point to depict a kaveh that is exuding happiness#it can be hard to accept yourself and your identity and at least in these pieces i want kaveh to be proof of queer joy#or more specifically. aromantic joy#bc sometimes it can be hard to believe it exists but maybe seeing it can help you believe it's out there#i also don't think i've ever went into detail about my kaveh and why i hc him as arospec? maybe i should do that sometime
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imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#This is very much not what I would have wanted to see in the show because that episode was perfect to me#But I do think it would have been funny#And hey if you wanted to go the angst route and follow sandman comic lore of 'people stay in hell because they believe they should be there#Then you could have Edwin who has come to terms with who he is and Simon who is starting to forgive himself thanks to Edwin#Getting out of Hell just fine while they're being chased#And Charles 'im scared I'll end up like my dad' Rowland. Charles 'i could never be good enough' Rowland. Charles 'rage issues' Rowland#Who doesn't think he deserves to get out. Even if the thought is deep down and buried#Edwin's reaction to that would be. Woof. Yikes. Delicious#Don't get me wrong Charles would absolutely not stay in hell because I love him too much for that#And so does Death and you absolutely cannot change my mind about that there's no way she doesn't know about the boys#So yeah he'd get out fairly quickly#But just. The potential. The pain. Chef's kiss
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This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:
Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.
#'but gaza' trump wants TO OBLITERATE THEM. HE LITERALLY WANTS THERE TO BE NOTHING LEFT OF GAZA AT ALL. WHY DO YOU THINK#I DON'T WANT HIM IN POWER?????#yeah I said I wouldn't election post I lied sorry.#I know most of you don't actually care what happens to american citizens because we're all Violent Hypocrites who should kill ourselves#and somehow every single civilian is responsible for the actions of a military and government that comparatively few of us are actually par#of but FUCKING HELL. You don't care about THE PEOPLE OF GAZA??? Because that's what you're telling me if you're in favor of#doing anything OTHER than the most likely path to get trump out of politics. which is voting for the candidate DIRECTLY OPPOSING HIM.#the thing about america being an empire that needs to die. is that before it dies. it is still affecting the rest of the world.#I can't make you care about me and my loved ones. but I am IMPLORING you to have some fucking compassion for all the people#who are going to be DEEPLY negatively affected elsewhere if trump gets into power.#THEIR HARM. THEIR DEATHS. ARE ON /YOU/ IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO FACILITATE TRUMP'S VICTORY IF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.#I don't believe most of you actually have any amount of the sympathy and compassion for others you claim to have.#I don't think any of the causes you throw yourself behind are actually meaningful to you. I don't think any of this is based on a#genuine desire to build a better world. I think you just want your Internet friends to think you are a Good Person.#if I see anyone. ANYONE. acting like a trump presidency is what we 'deserve'. or that it's necessary to 'teach [xyz] a lesson'#I am NEVER speaking to you again I don't care how long I've known you.#us politics#I am a disabled queer woman. almost everybody I love is also disabled and queer. you think we're acceptable collateral damage fine.#but don't cry that I'm being a bitch if I say that that makes me not trust you and not want to have anything to do with you.
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imagine if sif was having a period during the loops and didnt notice until after act 6
daily 16.5: me and my stupid blinding looney tunes gender be like
#hey i know this is personal. but fun fact: i didn't notice when i was on my first one#yeah i somehow powered through that. just oblivious as all hell. don't know how i didn't really notice what was going on#and yes i still have trouble differentiating them from stomachaches at first. so i can believe this happening#yes i saw you sent in two suggestions. yes i'm taking them as suggestions. yes i am drawing them both. can't stop me teehee#and finally yes i AM going to tag this as spoilers. it's without context but like daily 16 it's minor enough that it's fine to post#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time siffrin#isat fanart#siffrin#isat#isat siffrin#siffrin gimmick blog doodles#siffrin gimmick blog suggestions#can u tell i really like big unhinged grins :>
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i don't buy that lloyd would get over his fear of the restoration of fate that quickly. he was doomed by the narrative for years and now he's supposed to shake it off in less than two weeks? absolutely not, he literally tried to kill himself in order to avoid it, ain't no fucking way he just stopped being scared about it in a couple days i don't believe it
anyway. this is my way of saying that lloyd refused to cross dimensions until he made javier swear that he would kill him with his own hands if there was even a hint of the restoration of fate starting up again. he wouldn't consider going back if it meant putting his family and home in danger again even if it meant being left behind in a place he would've rather died than stay at.
and they both know that javier would fall on his own sword before hurting lloyd but they also know lloyd would take his own life before allowing him to do that or to let his existence put his loved ones in danger again. they know lloyd doesn't really need javier to kill himself, not if he's really committed to it. he's done it before it after all.
him asking javier this is. a warning. of what he's planning to do if the restoration of fate starts again. it's his way of telling javier that he cannot promise things will be okay if he comes back. that he must be ready to lose lloyd again if necessary because lloyd won't allow anything else.
it's also maybe... an indulgence on lloyd's part. he's felt himself die so many times now. and so many of his deaths were painful or terrifying or surrounded by his enemies and sometimes all three at once.
but he remembers a sunset, a coat over his shoulders, shaky yet reliable hands holding a sword. a quick, peaceful death on his own terms, done by someone lloyd trusted with something far more important than his life.
and he knows it's selfish, he knows it's cruel, but if he has to die, for real this time, can't it be at the hands of his best friend? if he has to be killed, can't it be done by someone lloyd knows cares for him? if he has to close his eyes and never open them again, can't the last thing he ever sees be the face of the person he loves enough to die for as many times as necessary?
and javier agrees because. what else can he do. he spent so long hoping lloyd would finally trust him enough to tell him what he was planning so javier could help him in anyway he was able to and now. now lloyd is asking this of him.
he desperately doesn't want to say 'yes'. but he cannot say 'no'.
what else can he do.
what's the point of being the most powerful human on the world if he can't even protect the one person he swore to protect above all things. what's the point of him if the only thing he can do is promise to kill his best friend because he has no other way to protect everything they've worked for.
how can he promise lloyd that everything will be okay, that things will work out, that if needed javier will die for him before letting anything happen to him, when he already failed before.
what else can he do
anyway. i don't think any amount of end spoilers and confessions to the jewel of truth are enough to soothe the terrified, paranoid and utterly traumatized part inside lloyd's chest that goes tight any time anything goes even remotely wrong for a good while. it takes a couple months, maybe a few years even, before lloyd stops going cold every time there's even a hint of trouble around him. before he stops reflexively looking to javier's sword to calm himself down whenever things don't go perfectly right in every way.
it takes a while. but it does happen. and things aren't perfect, that's not how life works, but they're good and even when they aren't, lloyd can finally face them and believe they're not his fault. that his existence is not an obstacle for the happiness of the people he loves.
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#fucking two weeks. be for fucking real.#ch 402 my beloathed. there are no limits to my contempt for you :/#ANYWAY. i think lloyd should be a lot more fucked up about everything that happened than he is in canon#my man genuinely believed that everyone he loved would be better off if he died. you don't shake that off so easily.#nor having to see yourself die many many many times.#or having your death be your go to emergency plan#like. my god. what do you mean he was marrying two weeks after all of that.#he needs sooooo much therapy. and a good retirement. and being surrounded by the people he loves and love him back.#NOT A FUCKING MARRIAGE WITH SOMEONE HE BARELY KNOWS#i'm fine i'm fine i'm good i'm not angry about it anymore i promise#tw suicidal idealization#tw suicide#<- i think. that's probably accurate. ask me to tag in case something else is missing.
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You can't say "Penelope is the one with the braincell in OdyPen" and then proceed to not have Athena favoring her. To NOT "take her under her wing" as well. Braincells are literally Athena's whole thing. Why would the goddess of wisdom ignore the woman who is constantly praised for being clever, wise, and godlike?
If Penelope has the braincell, then Athena favors her and loves her as well. That's just logic.
#like yeah. my OdyPen are likeminded and both are chaos gremlins in their own way but for people who have Penelope be the#“brain cell” and then have Athena Ignore her??? like...you're not only wrong. but also I'm sure you don't like Penelope so therefore#I don't like you :3#if you're having Penelope with the braincell BUT also have Athena favoring her don't worry :3 that's fine.#you're safe from my. odysseus'. and athena's wrath :)#like either way. Yeh. Penelope is Athena's pet as well#Otherwise you can admit that YOU don't like Penelope and that's why you don't have Athena favor her#Or you can just say that “hey. Athena doesn't favor me and that's why I believe Penelope isn't favored.” :P#seeing more young Penelope hanging out with Athena will fix me.#penelope of ithaca#penelope#Mad rambles#athena#epic the musical#odyssey#the odyssey#shot by odysseus
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very excited to announce this!!!!
envy, wrath, sloth, gluttony, greed, lust, ao3
this is part one of what will be the
Seven Deadly Sins Series (NSFW 18+)
pride (noun) - inordinate esteem for one’s own excellence. It is a habit or vice that disposes us to think more of ourselves than we ought.
The Hair.
King Steve.
Pretty Boy.
Steve is no stranger to objectification. He’s well acquainted with the way girls blush and giggle when he smiles their way in the halls. The way guys seem to puff out their chests when they speak to him.
In fact, his physical appearance has become so much a part of who he is at this point that he’s probably single-handedly keeping Farrah Fawcett spray on shelves across the nation.
But the thing about being naturally attractive, Steve learned the hard way, is that humility is what really gets under people’s skin.
Blushes go pinker when his response to a giggly “You look handsome today, Steve,” is looking at his shoes with a quiet, “What, this? Thank you.”
Other boys look less ready to throw a punch or an insult his way when they sprinkle their gametime trash-talk with “Pretty Boy” and “King Steve” if he just laughs and keeps playing.
Humility is what really does it.
For most people.
In the past few months he’s been dating Eddie Munson though, he’s realized there’s one exception.
It's not that Steve doesn’t think he’s attractive. It’s not that at all. He knows he’s good looking, spends an inordinate amount of time making sure he highlights it daily. Loves it about himself actually.
He doesn’t usually let people know that he knows, is the thing.
But Eddie loves when he’s vain.
Loves the way he primps in the mirror before they go out.
How he spins around to make sure his best assets are on display.
Steve’s honestly lost count of the number of times he’s been talking to himself in the bathroom, staring at his reflection saying “Damn, I look good in this outfit,” before arms are snaking around his waist and squeezing at his hips. A gravelly, “Fuck yeah you do,” in his ear.
That’s why, with a Herculean effort, Steve pulls himself away from Eddie’s lips where he’s in his lap on his couch.
They’re both breathing heavy, lips swollen, and eyes glassy. But Steve has an idea.
He rubs his thumbs over Eddie’s cheeks and breathes a laugh when he turns to nip at one of them. Can’t help but to lean in and kiss him again.
“Can we try something, baby?” He whispers into the barely there space between them.
Feels Eddie nod and hands grip at his thighs.
“Anything you want, Stevie.”
He trails a hand back to tangle in Eddie’s curls and shifts to bite at his ear and whisper, “Want you to fuck me in front of the mirror. Wanna watch.”
When Eddie pulls back from him it’s with a wicked smirk and eyes darker than Steve’s ever seen. He bucks Steve up and off and smacks him on the ass when he turns to leave.
“Yeah baby. Let's go watch how pretty you are.”
He knows his smile is blinding when he laughs back over his shoulder.
*****
Steve always thinks he’s hot, but he thinks he’s prettiest when he’s kneeling and sitting back on his boyfriend’s dick with tear streaks down his cheeks and drool down his chest.
He’s so spacey, and so stuffed full that he’d agree with almost anything Eddie said.
Currently it's a litany of, “Look at you baby, you’re so hot,” and “My sweet baby. Prettiest angel,” and “Look how pretty you are, huh,” with every punch of his hips and bite to the side of his neck.
Between Steve’s punched out breaths and whines he’s nodding. “Mhm. ‘M the prettiest. So pretty when I cry.”
His agreements have Eddie groaning and wrapping the hand not digging into his hip around the front of his neck and dragging him backward into a bruising kiss.
He’s smiling and Steve can feel him laugh when he whimpers against his mouth. “Tell me about it baby. Tell me what’s pretty.”
Gasps from deep in his chest when Eddie wraps his hand around his cock and tugs.
“Tell me.”
Steve whines once and squirms under the attention. Loves it.
“My eyes,” he gasps. Eddie hums from behind him and slows his hips to a deep grind. “My eyes look really green when I’m crying. I like them.”
A soft kiss dropped to his shoulder and two sets of eyes on him in the mirror.
“My hair. Like it when– when it's messy,” a hiccup and eyes squeezed shut when Eddie shifts inside him just right. “Like when it’s messy from your hands.”
He slides his own hands up his thighs and squeezes at the hand Eddie still has against his hip.
He meets his own gaze in the mirror and his face breaks into a smile as his chest heaves.
“Like my lips when they’re swollen. People can tell I just kissed you. Want ‘em to know.”
In a second Eddie’s got a palm flat against his back and has his shoulders shoved down into the carpet, his head twisted to see himself.
He knows he’s falling fast because he giggles when Eddie grips at his hips and pulls him back onto his dick. Giggles even more when Eddie looks up at him in the mirror and smirks when he pushes in deep.
“Pretty when I’m ass up for you,” he smiles and his eyes finally stray away from his own reflection to meet his boyfriends gaze, fucked out and cocky.
Eddie lands a sharp smack to his ass and squeezes. “Hell yeah you are baby. So pretty when you’re on my dick.”
One of his hands slides up Steve’s spine and presses down on the back of his neck and pulls a gasp from his lungs.
“But you know what baby?”
Steve hums with his eyes locked on the way his ass bounces with each meeting of Eddie’s hips.
The hand snakes back around to tug at his cock again and he knows it won’t take much more when Eddie grits out “Prettiest when you come for me.”
His legs shake and he lets out a high whine as he spurts into Eddie’s hand.
“That’s it angel. God you feel so good, Stevie,” is all Eddie can get out before Steve feels his hips stutter and his breath leave him in low groan.
Steve knows he’s attractive is the thing.
Knows he’s pretty and loves it.
People tell him all the time.
But one of his favorite things to hear is when he’s coming down from his orgasm high, his boyfriend lists the things he finds prettiest.
“Your smile.”
“Your laugh.”
“Your heart.”
“The way you love people.”
“The way you love me.”
“The prettiest is the way you love yourself.”
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie smut#seven deadly sins series#pride#these are all going to be smut#and filthy smut at that#therefore#minors DNI#or get blocked im so serious#joey don't yell at me this was my writing reward for making progress on my big bang#stay tuned for the other six#can you tell I have catholic guilt be honest#y'all won't believe what I was watching while I wrote this#okay fine I'll tell you#it was shark tales#this is probably ooc#good thing idgaf#gin writes
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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IF NOT IN LOVE THEN WHY COLOR COORDINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i've decided aun is actually divorcing from his wife but he hasn't said anything to ton yet because he doesn't want to bother him with this#can't believe they had THEE ROMANCE right here and they didn't go with it#it's like directors see normal 30-something-years-olds with normal jobs trying to navigate their normal life and say mh no that's too boring#IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!#I PROMISE YOU IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!#i promise you you don't always have to put crazy mafia bosses where they don't belong just to sell a more 'adult' relationship!!!!!!!!#normal dudes with kids are just fine!!!!!!!! INCREDIBLE EVEN#anyway. god please at least give me the poly im begging#the rebound#the rebound the series#aunton#m: txt
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