#fine he'll forgive you (it's not like he was ever going to stay mad at you when he gets a second chance)

[seoafin]

is there anything you can tell us about the alucard fic? no pressure to post!

yeahh!!!!

in my fic i think alucard is understandably hurt by your sudden disappearance. he spends the next 200 years thinking you abandoned him, while simultaneously grieving your death and nursing a bitterness, torn by desire and a betrayal he thinks he has no right to feel. you were never his. he entertained thoughts of you staying but he never expected it. yet it hurt more than he anticipated. he literally puts himself to sleep because he can't deal with it lmfao. during the reunion scene in nocturne he's surprised by how quickly it all melts away. every single horrible feeling. he's still in love with you. he feels like the fumbling dhampir who had watched you take the flowers he had gotten you, breath bated. you're alive. and you don't look a single day older than the last time he saw you, bathed in moonlight on his bed. he's confused. but also still down crazy bad. i think once you tell him the truth about everything he very very very very reluctantly accepts it (he'll find you in the future aka during his fbi agent era). the conversation is predated by a very uncomfortable conversation where you have to tell him that you're leaving. again. (after he tells you that he'll never forgive you if you leave him again and/or turn you into a vampire if you die). anyway after you leave, all alucard wants is to go to sleep until he can meet you in the future. but people keep on making him wake up to defeat world ending evil smh. (he can't meet you if the world ends before then right?)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

hello, finn here, resident one piece "insane tag" writer.... im doing my duty to defend mr. smoker. smo-yan, if you will.

what are my credentials in commenting on this matter? Well. Glad you asked. I've been a onep fan for admittedly not that long, but in that time (like... 8-9 months?) i've messaged one of my close friends. hm. discord receipts.

681 times about him. also you know that one post? yeah from "smoker. smo-yan." to "i fucking love him good god" that's all me. glad we've established my expertise here

2. look at him. first of all, im raising my eyebrow at you anon because woahhhh looking 60 is fine for me. just perfect, actually. they grey/white hair is fucking wonderful to me personally considering i also love rayleigh and beckman.... also just like. every other part of him. he has huge boobs that he refuses to cover because he's allergic to shirts for some reason. he has leather gloves (would suck on any day). when also jacketless, he wears his jitte with a thick strap over his chest that is So droolworthy. he has a Fat Ass. search up stampede smoker because that's like his peak look. his face scar is endlessly sexy. the slicked back hair (more recently) and the more messy spiky look from earlier in the series both serve in contributing to his bad boy persona, which leads me to my second point: the dichotomy of personality.

3a. part a - the bad boy delinquent persona. if you only take him for his surface level actions and words, he seems a little bit mean. like every gruff, rough-around-the-edges mad dog delinquent type. just look at him as a marine cadet, head shaved and frowning. look at the illustration oda did of him as a kid, holding a nail-imbedded bat. he's loud and brash and commands a whole marine squad, he's big and always has a frown on his face and he's arguing and cursing and you just expect him to be unkind. but. But.

3b. But he's not. he's not unkind at all. He's not nice, maybe, but he's so kind. when tashigi has her crisis about justice vs the marines vs "doing the right thing" are often, actually, at odds with each other, smoker supports her in his own gruff way. tells her he'll be there to support her. and. the scene of all time;

4. la pièce de résistance - his character introduction. oda does character introduction SO well in general (see: mihawk, zoro, galley-la shipwrights, countless others) but the smoker intro is my top intro of all time, it's SO good. to recount to those who don't know, we basically see this big scary gruff guy - shirtless, obviously strong, all spiky hair and big stompy boots - and a kid bumps into him and spills their ice cream all over him. He obviously has a reputation as a powerful guy, because the villiagers around all beg him for forgiveness, ask him not to hurt the kid - and yknow what he does? He says to the kid "looks like my pants ate your ice cream," drops a few coin into their hand, and tells them to buy more scoops next time. that's the most attractive thing i've ever seen. he does masculinity like NO other. gods.

5. strong moral compass - doesn't often agree with general marine guidelines. he's pretty shit at being a marine, honestly. tells the brass to go fuck themselves often. follows his own sense of justice, and even though he hates pirates.... temporarily allying himself with them is not off the table, not if it means more justice (in his eyes). he doesn't like innocent people being killed. in stampede, even as everyone attempts to leave the island in light for abuster call, he stays because there must be something he can do. hina sighs and calls him stupid for it, but takes tashigi koby and helmeppo away anyways, showing that this has happened before, likely multiple times.

6. can he stub those cigars out on me. please. please. plea- [comically large piano falls on me, cutting off my speech]

For context, they are responding to this post about Smoker

It's always the last paragraph that pushes it into horny jail territory every time

And he does have one of the best intros. I hope they keep it in the live action

[shmowder]

Yeah marrying pathologic characters is fun and all but what about divorcing them? Just how petty would an ex-husband Daniil be.

Maybe it was his long overnight stays at Thanatica which was the final straw for you to hand it the divorce papers, or maybe it was a bunch of little disagreements that piled up until you decided enough was enough.

Whatever the reason was, your ex-husband never forgets nor forgives. Each time the two of you would coincidentally end up in the same social event or gatherings, he'd feign forgetfulness and still refer to you with the last name 'Dankovsky' before staring you in the eyes then correcting himself and offering a dry apology.

He's totally over it. What do you mean petty? Him? Never. He just doesn't get why you're suddenly so eager to attend to all of these gatherings when you used to complain whenever he took you to Thanatica's chairty events and networking parties. What's he doing here? Well, that's just none of your business, is it? Yeah, he never liked them either, but... something urgent came up, and now he's here.

Ex-husband Daniil, who's totally not bitter when you let other people flirt with you, especially when they get into your personal space and think they have the right to whisper in your ear so openly. Or maybe that's what you like? After all, Daniil was the perfect gentleman, or so he thought. Opening the doors for you, lending you his coat whenever it was windy, bringing your favourite treats after working overtime at the labs. And sure, his tone may have been less than ideal, not to mention his attitude, but his actions are what matters, right?

He'd scoff, walking up to them and rudely interrupting the intimate moment. Eyeing their arm wrapped around your waist with disgust, making his annoyance clear to the other person while hiding his insults under the pretence of a normal conversation.

What? He's not being unreasonable. He's just fascinated by their clothes and wants to know who was the mad tailor.

Actually, what are their qualifications? Any degrees? Which college did they attend?

Calmly sipping on his glass while keeping a civilised appearance as the other person gets more and more annoyed by his proding by the minute until they snap and storm off. Daniil feigning innocence as other people mumble around about how rude that person was to behave this way while talking to one of Thanatica's lead researchers.

Now, if the two of you end up at the same town during the events of the game? It's the closest Daniil has ever gotten to believing in fate. All he has to do is cure this plague, so you'll realise just how important his job is and that he wasn't neglecting you on purpose... and maybe get a second chance. But he'll never admit it out loud, but how about the two of you work together? Maybe you can help him focus... you know, like you did during his college days, maybe even stay in the same room?

You want to work alone? Are you insane? Did you go senile after the divorce? Whatever moment of softness he may have shown when trying to get you back is immediately washed away by his infamous venomous tongue, reminding you of why exactly you wanted a divorce in the first place. Fine, go walk to your death! He doesn't... goddammit, he deeply cares. Listen, at least come see him each morning so he is sure you aren't in danger. It is mandatory.

Daniil, who sends you a letter each time you make progress in finding more information about the plague, saying what you're doing is meaningless and stupid. It's especially worse if you decide to help the Haruspex make a panacea or encourage Clara's antics and believe in her powers. He's criticising your every step, writing it down on paper, and then mailing it directly to you. Addressing you by the same endearment names in his letters when the two of you were still together, "To my dearest love." Signing his obnoxious name at the bottom each time, "Yours forever, Daniil."

Having the audacity to still invite you over to show off his progress on the vaccine at the end of the letter. He still takes your account when buying groceries or rationing immunity pills and antibiotics, making sure to leave them in a package at the front of your doorstep if he's too busy to drop by. Ex-husband Daniil, who gets more irritated with your stubbornness, the more dire the situation in town gets, with danger lurking everywhere you're still the sole person at the front of his mind. Who tries to make a deal with the Kains or Alexander Block for a way to get you on a train and far off from this town.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Perfectly Normal Schoolgirl, part 4

Read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 too! (Look at me posting while hopped up on 15 different meds)

“I'm a fool for doing this, aren't I?” Dane didn't look up from where he sat, cross legged on the ground. His shirt was opened to reveal the runes I'd scrawled on his chest and throat.

I drew the circle around him wordlessly. Nothing I said would help him now. The candles were lit, casting the otherwise dark room in flickering shadow and light, darkness dancing just outside our pentacle. The ointment was smeared across his face, glistening like his soul leaked through his pores. The stage was set, and it was time for him to dance.

Stepping back from my handiwork, I glanced at the clock. Right on cue, it struck twelve. “Was something supposed to happen?” Dane tried to crane his neck to look at the clock. 

Worried as I was, it brought a smile to my face. I snapped my fingers and watched as his joints locked up, body going ramrod straight. This was something I'd seen dozens of times before. Sometimes they made it out alive. Sometimes they didn't. Either way, it was up to him now. Some battles could only be fought by a single person. I settled in an armchair and pulled a book out from his bookshelf.

It wasn't long before someone showed up. A man, resplendent in a golden top hat and cloak. He knocked the door seven times. I ignored him every time. “Katherine,” he said, voice clear as bells, “I know you're in there.”

Of course he showed up now, at the worst possible time. With a sigh, I hauled myself up from my armchair. “L,” I hissed. “You're not welcome in.”

L laughed. “Goodness, Kat. You'd think I was trying to st-” I pressed my finger to his lips, reaching past the boundary of the door as I did so.

“There's a security camera nearby,” I warned him. “Be wary.”

“A camera! And you still went through with that thing? Are you trying to get yourself caught again?” L folded his arms against his chest. “Fine. Won't you at least invite me inside, so I don't have to discuss matters with you next to a deathtrap?”

“It's not my home to invite you into. And its owners are currently indisposed.”

L peered into the house. “A boy,” he remarked. “You have gone soft, haven't you? Since when did you do that for mere mo- children?”

I shrugged. “I owe him one. Why are you here?”

“Come on, Kat! You know damn well why. You've been hiding out in the middle of nowhere, pretending to be some dingy little student, and letting yourself get pushed around by lesser beings. The others are mad at you, but they're not that mad. They'll forgive you if you come back.”

He just didn't get it, I thought grimly. Then again, none of them ever did. “L, do you know why I chose to stay here?”

“Will you stop deflecting? I'm telling you: Come back!”

Ignoring him, I continued, “It's warm here. The humans are nice. They have these things called gelatos, and it tastes like nothing else I've known.”

There was a dangerous look in L's eyes. I had grown familiar with it, being the sort of person who tended to inspire mind-numbing rage in others. “Seriously, Kat! Stop it. My place is warm enough for you, and humans are nice wherever you go, and we can bloody well get gelatos at home!” He tried to grab my wrist, but I pulled it back through the doorway, into the boundaries of Dane's home.

“The best thing about this place, though? The cameras. It's a surveillance state. Nobody tries anything here. Nobody dares to. Not even you.” I moved to close the door in his face, then paused. “Go home, L. I won't.”

There was heartbreak mixed in with the anger on his face. I didn't want to look at it anymore, so I shut the door. But L had to have the last word, as he always did.

“He'll die, you know. They all do.”

Then I was alone with Dane. He twitched, raw terror etched onto his features. The poor boy was walking through a living nightmare, and I could not help him. If he died… I did not want to think of that. I had watched more than my fair share of dying children, and it would attract Death. I had no wish to meet him ever again, kind though he was.

The book held no respite for me, and pacing the room did me not good. I settled just outside his circle and stared into his unseeing eyes. He moved again, desperately trying to break free. There were tears streaming down his cheeks.

Was it worth it? I had known those who said yes. The ones who didn't make it out had no chance to disagree. His suffering would make him stronger, the theory went. The rules said merely not to break the circle while he tried to break free. The faith he'd held in me, that I would protect him, compelled me to disobey.

Flopping onto the floor, I let out another heavy sigh. What the hell… I'd broken enough rules already. What was one more? 

With one finger, I smudged the circle, and Dane came free with a shriek. Before he could fall over and break the circle entirely, I caught the air around him, twisted it, and pulled it back. He toppled over in his panic, and landed squarely beside me. “What the hell?!”

I smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. “You looked like you were in pain,” I admitted. “So I broke you out.”

“But what about the boon? I need it… Don't I?” Dane frowned down at me. “How else will I be strong enough?”

Silly boy. Silly me, too, to risk so much for him. “You did receive the boon,” I told him, beaming. “I caught it before it could leave.” Presenting the glittering air trapped between my fingers, I revelled in his surprise.

“I thought you said the rules forbade outside help?” Dane took the air from me nonetheless, cupping it to his chest. He sat up, and I followed, the two of us facing each other.

“I break rules for fun, kiddo,” I said with levity I did not feel. “Don't worry about me. Besides, I promised to help you out, didn't I? Can't have you dying on me before I grant your wish.” Man, was I dancing on the line today. One wrong move and we were all doomed. It gave me a thrill like no other.

“You're right,” Dane said. “So what's our next move?”

I laughed. “We strike first, and hard,” I told him. “Mrs C and her little friends won't know what hit them!” And more to the point— Neither would the cameras. 

Dane nodded. “So we meet at school early? Say, 6am?”

I considered it. “That would work, yes. But I've got a favour to ask of you.”

“Ask away! You know I'd do anything for you, Kat,” he told me, the earnestness on his face palpable. I wanted to pick him up and stuff him somewhere safe and far away.

“Can I stay here tonight?” The odds of running into L again were low, but I did not trust him not to try to spirit me away. Safest to be within a home tonight.

“Of course! You can use my room,” he assured me. “I'll take the couch.”

“Isn't there a spare bedroom?’ I could've sworn I'd seen one.

Dane froze, a pained look creeping onto his features. “That's my parents' room,” he whispered. “I can't…”

He couldn't bring himself to use it. “I understand,” I told him, and pulled him to his feet. “Take your own bedroom, I don't really need somewhere to sleep.” 

Dane gave me a grateful look. “Kat, do you really think we can… You know, save my parents?”

I ran my fingers through his hair, and hugged him. “I promised you, didn't I? And I always keep my promises.”

Taglist:

@coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch

@ramitola, @urnumber1star, @fortunatetragedy, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west

@finicky-felix, @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn (Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[joprompts]

chess (musical) starters. part one. *starters from the musical. adjust as necessary.

everybody's playing the game but nobody's rules are the same. nobody's on nobody's side.

all men have a weakness: his is that woman.

no one in your life is with you constantly. no one is completely on your side and though i move my world to be with him, still the gap between us is too wide.

no one can deny that these are difficult times.

knowing i want you, knowing i love you, cannot compare to my despair, knowing i've lost you.

they're not too polite.

who needs a dream? who needs ambition? who'd be the fool in my position?

don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining.

that's the problem. he's a brilliant lunatic, and you can't tell which way he'll jump. like his game, he's impossible to analyze. you can't predict him, dissect him, which of course means he's not a lunatic at all.

i've been a fool to allow dreams to become great expectations.

how can i love you so much yet make no move?

one of these days--and it won't be long--he'll know more about me than he should.

if it were love, i would give that love every second i had.

wasn't it good? wasn't he fine? isn't it madness he can't be mine?

i'm on the case, can't be fooled. any objection is overruled.

pity instead the careless mother, what she missed, what she lost when she let me go. i wonder, does she know?

pity the child who knew his parents.

if i knew from the start, why am i falling apart?

i'm not getting rich. my only interest is in something which gives me the chance of working with the best.

you have caused such grief i can't forgive this evil thing you've done.

if you walk out on me, you're really betraying your father. were he alive now he'd surely be dying of shame.

you're on nobody's side, but your own.

there will be days and nights when i'll want you more than i'll want to.

you and i, we've seen it all.

this is the one situation i wanted most to avoid.

the one i should not think of keeps rolling through my mind and i don't want to let that go!

what's going on around me is barely making sense. i need some explanations fast!

what if he saw my whole existence?

what we've just seen's a pathetic display from a man who's beginning to crack. he's afraid. he knows he isn't the player he was and he won't get it back.

once i had dreams now they're obsessions. hopes became needs. lovers possessions.

maybe it's best to love a stranger. well, that's what i've done. heaven help my heart.

who'd ever think it? such a very pretty setting. tell me what's the betting, very pretty plotting, too. no matter--i've done all your work for you.

i want to talk chess.

how'd we ever get this far before you showed me what you really are?

never lose your heart, use your head!

looking back, i could have played it differently. won a few more moments, who can tell?

not much is known of early days of chess beyond a fairly vague report.

where's daddy? dead or in the KGB?

when i was nine, i learned survival, taught myself not to care.

pity the child who twenty-five years on, finds her confidence gone!

how you've hated my success!

it's the only thing i can stay true to.

you got your tricks, good for you, but there's no gambit i don't see through.

there must be more i could achieve but i don't have the nerve to leave!

how can you let mediocrity win? you have one chance left. win for chess. you were five one up. now it's five all. get a grip.

i don't see anything outrageous about demanding what i'm worth.

chasing our hearts' desire, but we go on pretending stories like ours have happy endings.

did i plan doing all of this for the love of a man?

[shadowyinfluencercloud]

SUPERMODEL

Jonathan Bailey x male reader

ANGST → FLUFF

SUMMARY: In which Marcel (he's back yayyy) feels complexed by Jonathan's status.

A/N: Inspired by Supermodel by SZA

A/N: Jonathan; Marcel

❗ English is NOT my first language so be kind.

❗Every interaction is (sadly) purely fictional.

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

→ it's pretty late. you said you'd be home an hour ago

→ sorry, love. I just got caught up with the after party. I'll be home in three hours . I promise

→ fine.

→ don't say that. you know i wanted you to come with me.

→ you know I couldn't. I have to go to work in the morning.

→ that's a thing us, celebrities, don't have to worry about

→ if it makes you so happy, stay there until they kick you out

→ darling you know I didn't mean it that way

→ oh, fuck off

"Heavens, I'm screwed." , Jonathan groaned in his hands.

"Why? What happened?" , Jon, his director, wanted to know.

"I just...made someone I really, really care about really, really upset." , Jonathan said, on the verge of crying.

"Hey, don't breakdown. I'm sure whatever you've done can be fixed." , Jon tried to calm him down.

"No it can't. Not when I've done it repeatedly." , Jonathan said.

"Care to explain this repeated mistake?", the director asked.

"Are you married, Chu?" , Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, with Kristin. You've met her before."

"And you'd ever tell her that she wouldn't understand you because you're famous, unlike her?"

"What?! Never."

"So I'm the only piece of shit. That's just great." , Jonathan mumbled.

"Look, I know what you did is bad, but I'm sure if you apologize to your boyfriend, he will forgive you more easily than if you sit on your ass, eating catering food and drinking free alcohol." , Jon told him.

"It's not that easy. You haven't met him." , Jonathan answered.

"Then tell me. How's he like." ,Jon asked.

"He is... extraordinary. He's a lawyer. I met him at a trial involving the company my father worked for. Something about trademark...I didn't care at the moment.-"

"Oh, please!" ,Jon scoffed, "Any nerd who survived 4 years of law school is a lawyer."

"Not him. I can leak the whole Wicked 2 right now and he'll make sure I'm safe and sound."

"Okay. I'll take your words for granted." ,Jon chuckled. "One more question: He loves you?"

"I think so, I'm not the most understandable person to be around." , Jonathan answered.

"Do you love him?" ,Chu wanted to know.

"That's two questions...", Jonathan rebutted.

"Do you?"

"Yes, I love him more than I can love anyone else."

"Well I can assure you that your boyfriend is mad at you, but if you explain it to him, he can forgive you."

"Thank you!" , Jonathan sighed relieved, hugging the director. "Now I have to go."

"Aren't you staying more?"

"Sadly no." , Jonathan said, looking for his car keys.

"Are you sure you had too much champagne to be able to drive?" ,Jon asked.

"You're right..." , as he opened his phone to text Marcel.

"Calling a cab?", Chu teased him.

"Yeah, something like that.", Jonathan retored him, in the same tone.

→ darling, I know you're mad at me and you have EVERY right to be so, but can you please come pick me up from the after-party? it's too late to get a cab

→ send me the fucking address

→ *address*

Jonathan is waiting outside the location for 25 minutes, contemplating what he should say to his boyfriend to make up for what he'd said nearly 3 hours ago, when he sees a Bentley Bentayga EWB at the front entrance.

He hops in the car, only to see his beloved, in a "drink your milk" t-shirt and one of the many pairs of sweatpants he wears when he goes to the gym.

"Hey, sweetheart. Don't you look ravishing." , Jonathan says in a flirty tone.

"That's what happens when your famous boyfriend wants you to be his taxi driver, when you just wanted to watch The Shining. I put on whatever I could find." , his boyfriend stated.

'Liar! You hate that t-shirt. You wear it because it smells like me.' , Jonathan thought.

"My love, about what I'd texted you a few hours ago-"

"Can you please drop it? We both know how this shit will go on. You fuck up, not that's the first time and surely it won't be the last, then you say some shitty apology you made up ten minutes and I'll forgive you." , Marcel said. "Look, I know I'm not a supermodel. I could be your supermodel, if you see it in me."

"My lovely, intelligent, handsome man I have the privilege to call my romantic partner" , Jonathan said as he held his boyfriend's hands- good thing it was a red light. "Don't ever think I'll love you any less because you're not like the celebrities I hang out with. Don't think I could not love you in the first place. You're not only my supermodel, you're the center piece of this fashion show called life."

"I don't know how you do it, Jonathan Stuart Bailey, but I can't stay mad at you for more than 10 minutes when you say stuff like that.", his boyfriend finally said as the traffic lights showed green.

"I don't deserve you, you incomprehensibly... lovely person." , Jonathan stated, lovingly.

"Just shut up" , Marcel said as he held Jonathan's right hand in his left one. "I hope you're hungry, I made a cheesecake."

'That in the Marcel-ian language means that you're forgiven.'

"That sounds perfect, love.", Jonathan answered.

——————————————————————————

The End

——————————————————————————

[kitsuneoftheorganization]

Vrains: Valentines Day

A/N: this is a week late shhhh... (pretend it was posted right on time) i just wanted to edit a few things and somehow added several paragraphs, and it's now nearing 4am... aha ;-;

(also forgive me for characters not being on here, i haven't gotten through the entire show yet and wanna do them justice :] )

characters: Ai, Playmaker, Skye, Varis

warnings: none!

Ai

• you best prepare for every cheesy pun he can possibly think of involving his name

• clingy clingy clingy (i mean, think back to his joke in duel links "love me touch me feed me hot dog sandwiches!") he's gonna be wrapping around you like a backpack so get used to not getting any alone time the entirety of the day, or not going out without an eldritch monster clung to your shoulders like a witch and their familiar

• when you finally convince him to stay in his smaller form to be less conspicuous, he'd substitute holding your hand by holding your fingers since he's stuck in the duel disk, and constantly asking you to log into vrains so he can "properly hold your hands".

• there's something comedic about a tiny ignis with his hands on his hips and an exasperated look pouting about holding your hands... you keep saying you're busy to tease him and this frustrates him greatly, but it's so cute you can't help it

• anytime you bring your wrist with the duel disk attached near your face, or check it for some reason, he'll reach over and (comically because he's so tiny) try to kiss you

• but even though his puns, cheesy jokes, and constant talking can get a bit annoying, how can you stay mad when he's giving you the sweetest looks ever and smiling like the adorable lil creacher he is? he'll look away whenever you catch him though, and insist he was looking at something else... very unconvincingly

• he also wants to make up for all the things he didn't get to express to you beforehand, what with everything that went down and being tracked by the hanoi, and today's holiday is a good ice breaker for that topic

• before he confessed to you, he'd look extremely squirmy and anxious all the beginning of the day especially when you ask Yusaku why he seems so awkward and tense

• you had been friends and allies for a long time, fighting alongside Yusaku and the others to protect his fellow ignis as best as you both could, so there was no reason you could think of for him to be nervous around you

• Yusaku would just sigh exasperatedly and give a glance to Ai, who would immediately try (and fail) to look natural, leaving you very confused

• little did you know, he'd been talking with Yusaku for weeks about how he'd go about telling you while simultaneously roasting him for being no help and having no experience... leaving Yusaku to question him why he was asking in the first place. if only you could overhear their banter...

• he'll hack into your duel disk later on to talk to you, and look as though he'd be sweating bullets if he could

• just... stares at you silently for a solid minute leaving you like ???

• finally after a second he sighs and unloads all of it on you at the speed of a commercial actor reading fine print

• once he slows down though, he gains his confidence and is actually very eloquent explaining his feelings. you can hear the sincerity in his voice and tell he's being completely serious

• when you told him you returned his feelings, the tone switches in an instant and oh boy his old self is back in a flash

• "hah, i knew you could never resist this hot bod!" and now he's posing dramatically on your duel disk... and you immediately wish you had the power to mute him

• afterwards, he'll try to catch you off guard by kissing your cheek every time your face is near the duel disk, or making heart eyes to fluster you

• it would be endearing and fluffy having this little creacher so head over heels for you but it's incredibly flustering when you remember he's also a six foot tall, incredibly attractive, peircing eyed, fancy-vampire-extravagently-dressed tumblr sexyman that towers over you and is very intimidating

• even though he jokes a lot, he's incredibly smart and does care deeply, so i can imagine him setting something up somehow, whether it's ordering something to your door, hacking some big screen in the city for a message that would confuse other citizens but that you'd recognize, or leading you to cyberse cards he created to put in your deck because to him it's both a gift and a way to always be present with you and remember him by, and shows you're his using his cards

• if he has access to a soltis body, he'll want to do things he didn't get to do much before, to just go out for a walk and see the city with you without the whole pretend-i'm-a-villain-to-save-the-future thing going on

• will grab your hand and kiss the back of it because he saw it in a drama and wanted to try it

• you end up seeing a video later from someone in the area that had seen you both holding hands...

• "who's vampire lookin ass boyfriend is this lmaooo"

• it's all you can do to stop him from angrily replying with 10 different accounts he made...

• after all that though, I think he'd want to make cookies together at your home, or just something fun and domestic, since originally when he was left at Yusaku's apartment he was always bound to the duel disk. will probably throw a little bit of dough at you when you aren't looking though (he'll swear it wasn't him despite you being the only two there)

• probably tries all the things he's seen in dramas that he watched with roboppi in Yusaku's apartment, and it's very obvious (let him have his male lead moment okay)

• at the end of the day, he actually becomes somewhat uncharacteristically shy for once when he asks if you'll watch tv and play games with him

• if he's in his soltis, he'll put you on his lap and wrap you both up in a blanket, his arms around you, with his head just in place to whisper in your ear...

• he leans in close, lips right next to your ear, his hair brushing against you, sharp amber eyed gaze firmly on you, breath on your skin and...

• "do you and Yusaku actually think hot dogs are sandwiches"

• you cut him the most deadpan look ever, even putting Yusaku to shame while he laughs in complete satisfaction, locking his arms around you when you tried to get up

• even if he isn't in a soltis, he'd be in his monster form with his arms completely engulfing you, and head laying on your chest as you both watch dramas he insisted on

• will pout unless you let him kiss you, even though that form has a mouth full of sharp jagged teeth

• he's actually really warm, and his closeness is comforting, the only issue is that he's so tangled around you getting up would be a monumental task

• eventually if you fell asleep, he'd stay with you the rest of the night, as close as he can possibly be while going into whatever sleep state it is that ignis are capable of

• he'd let you use one of his arms as a pillow, and if you tried to move or get out of bed to get water or anything, he'd tighten his grip and dramatically whine about you "leaving your poor ignis"

• tells you he loves you after he thinks you've fallen asleep :>

Skye/Aoi

• considering her brother has sheltered her to an extent all her life, I think she'd want to do fun things with you!

• especially on a day like valentines, she'll want to do something thrilling

• in real life, she's someone who doesn't always have the confidence to do what she really wants to, to say what she really means

• though you met each other through VRAINS, you had become a huge support to her in real life, and helped her in ways you weren't even aware of. she never told you, but when she'd log out of VRAINS and leave her persona, and the confidence that accompanied it behind, your words and encouragement stayed with her

• did she really deserve it? if you knew the real her, would you still say the same things? she didn't know, but she knew that she could at least log in and have your presence waiting for her each day, something to look forward to

• even though she was the duelist in the public eye, personally, she admired you highly, not only for your dueling skills but for who you were and what you stood for, and what you would say to her

• it may have been in passing for you, but it echoed in her mind for hours

• that she mattered, not only as Blue Angel, but that her life was inherently valuable and meaningful no matter who is behind the mask, that though you'd been through many things, at the end of the day no matter where we find ourselves there is always more than it appears to life, that you can choose your destiny, and that there is always light even if we can't see it at the moment

• sure, anyone could pass them off as cheesy and forget it, but when things got to her and she felt alone, like no one knew her truly, and like she'd be in the cage her brother's concern had made for her forever, on the lonely late nights when no one was home... they comforted her. she desperately wanted to believe she could choose her own destiny, considering her and her brother's lives had so far felt like leaves being blown in every direction by the wind of circumstance

• you were a friend who treated her like a person instead of a celebrity, and didn't try to use her for internet fame, and so she had begun to feel like she truly could trust you

• the free spirit in her envied the fact that you were someone who had no leash unlike her, fighting the hanoi, going wherever you pleased, holding your own against the threats to VRAINS

• the longer you remained friends though, she'd realized that she'd begun to develop feelings for you beyond friendship or idolization

• even when you both had finally met in person, she'd never had the guts to say anything, too afraid she wouldn't measure up or that upon seeing her real self you'd think less of her than as Blue Angel and never think of her in that way

• little did she know you had grown to care for her strongly as well

• when she'd finally gained the courage to confess to you, she'd texted you with a friendly invite to go grab a snack since you were both alone today, and you both occasionally would do things together (Akira felt she was protected with you, thankfully)

• at least that way, she could back out if she got too nervous and let things between you remain the same

• she messaged you to meet with her at a cafe in the city, somewhere she liked, to eat something tasty and unwind after the stress you'd all been through

• you'd thought nothing of it, since you were just friends after all... you supposed you were lucky to spend time with her, even if it wasn't under the circumstances you wished it was

• you had kept your feelings quiet, not wanting to place any more pressure on her, so if friendship was what she needed, so be it

• you'd notice there was something on her mind, but as you're both finishing your food, you'd see some spark of confidence rise in her eyes and she'd grab your hands that were sitting on the table, take a deep breath, and start to explain the real reason why she met with you there (surprise bitch, this is a date!!!!)

• it takes you a moment to take in her words, because THE Blue Angel wants to be with you, THE Skye, the Skye you've been friends with for so long... the fact that she saw you the way you saw her was enough to make your soul jump through the roof

• she's overjoyed when she learns the feeling is mutual, and a streak of excitement and energy comes over her, thinking of all the things she wants to do with you

• this was the real Skye, you felt, someone with energy and spirit and that spark of adventure in her eyes that was shining through in this moment

• you'd agree to go to an amusement park straight afterward, something she'd always wanted to do but had never been able to since her brother was always busy and would've never let her go alone

• somehow, you'd fit almost every ride into the few hours you were there, from rollercoasters to the ferris wheel overlooking the city, and you both tried all the out-of-the-ordinary foods they had at stands

• she holds your hand on every ride, and everywhere you walked through the park as if you'd melt away if she didn't feel you beside her <3

• if you're a bit nervous of rollercoasters, she'd sit beside you and let you hold onto her... definitely doesn't try to get you on one again for that specific reason

• after you rode a bunch of rides, i think she'd like to just walk with you and see the sights of the park, talking about everything that's happened so far, her hopes for the future, and about how she's determined to try and find aqua if there's a chance she may have also been revived, and how cute she thinks you look holding the cotton candy you'd both gotten and the sunset illuminating your features ;>

• later when you got home, she'd invite you to come over, and you'd both log into VRAINS and either sightsee on a board, or speed duel with each other, and then meet up with the others to talk and because she wants to tell everyone about your relationship

• no one is surprised, because you both complimented each other so well even before and they could sense your chemistry

• being basically a celebrity duelist, i think she'd like to announce that you're together by a duel, if she's gonna introduce you it has to be perfect

• everyone else agrees and cheers you both on, wondering who will win

• if you were anxious about all the publicity though, she'd understand and would keep it on the low until/if you want to or are ready :)

• if you do though, at the epic conclusion of your duel, she starts to speak up in front of the reporters who had caught on and started filming, and everyone in the crowd is watching with baited breath to see what she'll say

• she announces that you've not only been her friend and a great support to her, but that meeting and being with you has been a new freedom and adventure she thought she'd never get to have

• and then she kisses you, above the city lights of VRAINS, riding on the wind, with the cheers of everyone surrounding you

• after all that, when it's really late, you'd both have a bunch of late night snacks and make cookies together, occasionally checking people's posted reactions to you being together, or if you didn't anounce it, see people's speculations on the hot mystery person she dueled with ;] and then play video games until you both got sleepy

• overall, i feel like her love language would be experiencing freedom and fun with someone she loves, letting loose with no restrictions

• you'd both end up asleep on the couch leaning against each other, game controllers still beside you both

Playmaker/Yusaku

• yusaku is a man of very few words, but he's someone who you know means every word he says, and you'd always admired that about him

• he also is someone who expresses things through actions moreso than words

• i think Ai would push him to confess to you on a day like valentines, something Yusaku would never do by himself, but Ai would annoy him to no end about not acting on his feelings until somehow he finally got him to do it

• I think Yusaku is someone who on the inside would want to be physically close, but the walls he's put up keep him from giving in, and his focus has been on a singular goal for a very long time, so a lot of what he does is based on protecting himself

• you had piqued his interest initially due to you seeming to also posess something akin to link sense, always sensing situations that he could feel too, which was what led to you two crossing paths often

• since you respected his privacy and didn't try to fight his battles for him, he came to respect you

• you'd eventually offered to aid him, and despite your skills and similarities, he was firm in going about his business alone. as time went on though, all your small acts of kindness and silent way of being there for him in the background without prying or invading his boundaries started to chip away at those walls a bit

• he'd catch himself with a strange feeling of curiosity when you'd leave after mopping the floor with the hanoi, watching as your figure would dissappear, finding himself deep in thought.

• Ai had of course taken notice of this and teased him relentlessly for it, and though he denied it repeatedly at first, maybe there was some truth to his teasing...

• once he wasn't so single minded in his goals, and had more time to think about things, it really hit him just how much he did appreciate your company, and he found himself forming something of a friendship and bonds with you and the others

• outside of VRAINS, he'd catch himself absentmindedly wishing he would run into you, or wondering if he'd see you in person somewhere, hoping to find you somehow, but telling himself it was strictly because he wanted to know your motives and connection to the situation at hand. yes, you were friends now, but you both didn't fully know each other's motives, much less what your appearances were in real life

• when Ai couldn't take it anymore and knew he wouldn't make the first move himself, he came up with a plan, which Yusaku only begrudgingly agreed to after a long back-and-forth

• you'd received a message to meet Playmaker in a certain spot outside VRAINS, which came as a shock, but you were also excited to meet him in real life, if it was indeed not a trap set by the hanoi

• you'd showed up, cautious at first, but immediately recognized the hot dog stand you were familiar with, having visited it once, and though you didn't know it was him at that moment, Yusaku was sitting by the food truck, outwardly calm, but you could see he was a bit stiff, as though internally nervous. He was talking to the man grilling the hot dogs, and as you got closer you noticed just how handsome he was... that he had familiar green eyes, and finally the unmistakable aspect you could always identify him by: the yellow eye of the ignis on his duel disk.

• It was a bit awkward at first, but after you had approached the seats and spoken up, he introduced you to Kolter and himself formally now that you were all in person

• you both talked for a while, speaking about your goals, your hopes, and how you both had a shared interest in protecting Ai and the ignis from the hanoi

• eventually, Kolter had given him a knowing glance and made an excuse to go "run and grab something he needed from the shop close over"

• Yusaku seemed to mentally facepalm at the obviousness of his actions, but had nevertheless turned to face you after he left

• "There's something i've been wanting to, uh... ask you about." he'd said awkwardly, and it was almost strange to see someone so usually stoic and confident be as unsure as he was now

• He'd stated how he was wary of you in the beginning, but that he was glad the two of you were friends despite his initial coldness, that he trusted you now and could tell you had a good heart.

• by now your cross between flattery and confusion was growing, and as he continued to speak, jt seemed as though he was dancing around what he actually wanted to say

• after a shared look between himself and the ignis who was now standing on his duel disk and glancing between you both (in... anticipation? entertainment? you weren't sure) he sighed and looked you in the eye.

• "I... wanted to ask if you would... stay with me," he paused momentarily between words, seemingly flustered as he spoke. "And there are three reasons why".

"One, you're a good hearted and skilled duelist who adapts well, and have a connection to the network that proves a valuable aid. You're a very strong ally in this regard. "

"Two, you've been incredibly kind and respected me despite my being wholly dedicated to revenge and not exactly being friendly in return. You're understanding, and you've been there for me on multiple occasions, putting yourself in danger even when I assured you it wasn't necessary. I thank you for this."

"Three, because after some time, I can't help but find myself deep in thought every time we encounter each other. I can't help but catch myself wanting to stop you every time you leave, but never knowing exactly what I wanted to say, and I've found I... enjoy your company. So, I-"

• He was cut off by Ai, who by now had his arms crossed and an exasperated look on his face

• "what shakespeare here's trying to say is that he's got feelings for you and he appreciates that you put up with him and care about him, but he's too cool and grumpy to say that outright. Also, he thinks your dueling skills are hot, and he's been like a puppy secretly hoping to run into you everywhere we go. And he should be thanking me as his brilliant, intelligent wing man who helped him with getting this far because he was never gonna pull you by just staring at you all mysteriously and brooding all the time and never saying anythi-"

• Yusaku shot him a glare that could've fried the rest of the hot dogs in the stand were it pointed that way, and Ai dramatically fell over and ceased talking, though he had a satisfied, smug look across his face

• taking a sigh, he spoke up again. "I'm saying I want you to be with me." he was now directly looking into your eyes, piercing green filled with hope, and behind that it seemed, anxiousness

• when you replied that you felt the same way about him, he'd done something he's rarely ever done with anyone: hugged you. it was slow and sheepish (you knew he wasn't one much for talking, much less any physical contact, so you were flattered by the gesture), and you could feel a thousand emotions through it: relief, shyness, and his muscles relaxing against you after a moment, like it was something he'd long needed

• the whole time, Ai was cheering as though he was watching the moment in a drama

• the rest of the day, Yusaku wouldn't initiate much physical contact, but he would often have his eyes on you.

• it's something very new for him to have mutual feelings of this sort, as he's always focused on other goals, so it would take a long time for it all to sink in for him, and considering he's always on guard, keeping his eyes on you feels like his way of keeping you safe

• he'd want to do things that were usually soothing for him with you because it would feel as though it's sharing a part of himself with you. having dealt with the trauma of the Lost Incident, he's extremely guarded and private, and so to include you in the things that ease his worries is an incredibly huge gesture

• he doesn't exactly have much money. his apartment isn't the most comfortable, and he isn't always able to eat well either, much less go to restaurants, but the gift he later gives you is something far more meaningful and thoughtful than anything a store could offer on a day like today, something from his own knowledge and skill that he had made himself

• he had coded you a modification that would attach to your duel disk and would cover all your tracks in VRAINS, protect you from viruses, and keep your identity secret, similar to the programs he used with Playmaker, that he had started making a few months back for you and not mentioned

• he'd be extremely shy giving it to you and would deny any thanks or compliments with a blush

• he would want to spend the rest of the day calmly in your company, just able to enjoy the peace for once

Varis/Revolver

• like Yusaku, he's someone who's very guarded and honed in on his goals, and he has the world on his shoulders in his belief that he should also be responsible for the situation his father created

• though you had opposed his views on the ignis, you also understood his motivations, and that he was caught in the trap of his father's shadow, no matter how hard he insisted that it was purely his choices

• the fact that you two had somehow formed a bond despite being enemies was something neither of you could explain, nor something either of you would mention verbally. having investigated as many secrets of the hanoi as you possibly could had helped you gain a better understanding of why he did what he did, though, and discovering he was a pawn in his father's chess game had changed your view of him

• after a handful of encounters, though, you could tell by the way his eyes would soften when they landed on you, the way he almost seemed careful to never place you in danger, and the fact that you had noticed less and less members of the knights of hanoi trying to duel you unprovoked, almost as if they had been ordered to do so, meant something was going on

• while you were concerned that he was dedicating his life to someone else's cause, he was concerned that you were endangering yourself by associating too closely with the ignis

• every situation with him was tense, but not in a negative way. In fact, your run-ins with him whether his trying to get information out of you on Ai's whereabouts, or your challenging him to deter the hanoi, there was something unspoken in the air between you two

• it came to a head at one point during an intense duel, where the building you'd both been standing on in VRAINS had been engulfed by a stronger than usual data storm and crumbled beneath your feet

• you'd both scrambled to catch your boards in an attempt to avoid falling, but yours had slipped from your grasp at the last moment

• and then the next thing you knew you were being suspended in midair by Varis balancing precariously on his board, his arms having curled around you just in time while you were both whisked into the storm

• you'd met his eyes for a moment, and there seemed to be a million thoughts and emotions swirling, before he closed them and sighed as if resigning himself to something he'd been battling internally

• when he'd reopened them, the expression he gave you was uncharacteristically caring and concerned

• it was over as quickly as it happened though, as in the blink of an eye you'd been set down on a building nearby, and he was nowhere to be seen, leaving you to wonder what had just happened

• you'd not seen him for a while after that, leaving you confused and mulling over the situation, thinking you'd just overthought it or misinterpreted his actions

• a couple months later, though, you'd been stopped in your tracks by a knight of hanoi, but to your surprise, it wasn't to challenge you. it was extremely strange: they'd calmly handed you a message and monotonously informed you "this was to be delivered to you", and then disappeared without another word or trace

• you'd worried it may have been a trap, but cautiously opened it: a message straight from Varis himself, reading, "I need to speak with you. you likely know why. Meet me at..." followed by what seemed to be coordinates. he was asking to meet you in person.

• when you had gone to the specified location the next day, having had to find the directions by phone, it'd led you to what appeared to be docks

• there was a young man at the end of one pier, turned toward the ocean, hands in his pockets. he was tall, and the breeze was tousling his white hair gently

• once he heard your footsteps approaching, he'd turned to face you, and you immediately knew it was him, steel blue eyes softening as they fell on you

• you couldn't deny how handsome he was, and seeing the real him, without his avatar's outfit, without the mask, was almost like seeing him without chains: this was him as him, not a pawn of his father, not the leader of the hanoi, but-

• "Roken" he'd broken you out of your thoughts, his voice softer than the usual stern roughness he usually spoke with in VRAINS. his gaze was locked firmly onto you, flustering you slightly, and you'd told him your own name in return

• the conversation that followed was less awkward than you had expected, but you could tell after a few minutes of talking he had decided to face the inevitable and address what you both knew but had thus far left unaddressed

• he was calm and collected, but you couldn't help but feel your heart pounding since you'd both tiptoed around it for so long, being enemies. it was easy that way, always being able to hold that subject second to you and your friends' rivalry with him

• he'd bluntly asked you if you had feelings for him, and stated coolly that aside from your stances he respected you as a duelist and had come to care for you, that he'd wanted to meet you in the real world, to see the real you outside of the "fake world" of VRAINS

• upon hearing you returned his feelings, he'd stepped forward and wrapped you in a firm embrace. his head came to rest on your shoulder, and you could feel his heartbeat

• "I'm... speaking not as Varis when I say this, but I do want you to stay away from that ignis. I know you have noble intentions, but you're in real danger every moment you accompany it. I know you will not agree with me, but I'm asking you to focus on this... My heartbeat, my arms around you right now, my breath on your shoulder. We are real, this is what's real. This world matters. That world is a world of facades, and those ignis within it will only endanger this world. I'm not asking you to be on my side, but I'm asking you to at least protect yourself. I don't want to see you hurt because you chose to protect those A.I."

• His words had touched you, but you'd replied that not all the ignis were as dangerous as he believed, that their free will meant no simulation could ever predict how things would turn out, that they were not the enemies he perceived them as. You asserted you would not back down from your stance, and that you wished he would not remain a prisoner of his past and his father and open himself up to you and your friends' perspectives

• Though you both disagreed, there was no argument, instead he'd tightened his grip around you, and you both stayed silent for a moment

• "I just want you to be safe."

• for the rest of the day, you'd just be walking with him through the city, places he must frequent when spending the little time he has away from his position as the leader of the hanoi

• there's a mutual acknowledgment between you that you are enemies and the entire situation is complex, but that you do indeed mutually want each other's safety

• he'd not realize what day it was, because despite wanting to deep inside, he's never really paid too much attention to holidays. he feels too much responsibility to his father's wishes to pay too much attention to "frivolous" things like that, but in reality, i think he'd want that normalcy. he's just too caught up in everything that's been dumped onto him to enjoy things as he should be able to

• nonetheless, the rest of the day he would want to spend time with you, walking through the city and stopping to get food, a chance to be Roken, and to talk to you without your opposition in the way, if only for a while

• like Yusaku, I feel he'd be the protective type, one who keeps his eyes on you a lot, but respects your abilities, skill, and personal space at the same time. unlike Yusaku though, I feel he'd be more open to physical contact, and would hold your hand in public

• part of why he admires you, is because he doesn't see himself as a good person. he carries around a lot of guilt, and can be quite ruthless, but he views you as someone who very much is good hearted, just from his view on the wrong side of the ignis situation

• so i feel like he would feel as though he doesn't deserve you deep down, and that's part of why he maintained distance for so long. deep down, he seeks atonement, and doesn't want you swept up in the midst thought you've chosen to be

• even though he is still seemingly cold and gaurded on the exterior in person, it feels as though he lets you in in his own ways. he doesn't talk much, but he can communicate his feelings best through eye contact and the way he holds your hand, and his actions, the way he holds you against him like the words could flow through touch

• you'd part your ways at the end of the day, wondering what your next encounter would be like, the feeling of his hand still lingering in your thoughts

• when you got back home, you'd realize in addition to your keys, there was something else that had been added to your pocket: a small note and a duel monsters card: one from his deck.

• the note read, "This may serve you well should you find yourself in particular trouble... Don't let your guard down with that ignis. I trust you will do the right thing should the situation come. Until our paths cross again, - Roken."

• it was his way of extending an olive branch and simultaneously protecting you - expressing through action what he couldn't through words.

[frogsare-friends]

I'm Not Built for Helping Myself

chapter index | chapter 3 (you're here)

- CONRAD -

"Hey man, Jere's sick so they're gonna stay here," Steven tells me as he comes down the stairs, looking sick himself.

"You okay? You look like you're gonna pass out." I worry about him, somebody has to.

"He threw up, I thought I was gonna throw up. Long story."

"That was a really short story, actually."

"Shut up, man. Jere said we should still go, have fun and all that."

That throws me off. Why would he want us to leave? How sick was he?

"I'm gonna run to the store and come back here, Steve-o. You have a good night though, yeah? I'll pick you up from Liam's if you need a ride. Just text me!" But I'm already walking out of the house. I've missed this place all year. Our dad is coming next week and I'm pissed. And since I'm pissed at dad, Jeremiah is pissed at me. He's pissed at me all the time, I don't know what he wants from me. I don't know why all I ever do is mess everything up. I don't know how to fix everything I've ruined. Sometimes I'm glad Jeremiah has it all figured out — when I can get over how jealous I am of it — at least one of us isn't a total fuck up.

I grab him some saltines, his stomach is always super sensitive when he pukes, and we don't have any at the house. He's very adamant about not eating plain toast, and he can't handle butter or jam.

- JEREMIAH -

I feel so pathetic. Belly is holding me, letting me be the little spoon because she knows I love it. She's combing her hands through my hair, deep in thought. She's so beautiful, always has been. And so is her mind, she can get lost in it for hours and I don't want to admit how much I'd give to get lost in there with her. I want to know everything about her, then I remember that I already do. Even her favorite candy — it used to be Swedish Fish, but since she got Covid she told me they taste like candles. I've loved every part of Belly, every summer-Belly, every text from fallwinterspring-Belly, now-Belly. I think now-Belly might be my favorite version, not because of how she looks, but because I get to love her. Not in secret, and not from behind anyone else.

"Adam's coming next week…" she stumbles through her sentence, as if I'm gonna start crying again.

"Conrad's mad at him. Can't he just… hold off for one week? He can hate him the week after when they aren't both taking it out on me." I know Conrad doesn't mean to put me in the middle of it, but I can't do it anymore. I'm pissed at him. Dad's a dick, we both know it, but he's trying. At least he's trying. Maybe not well, and maybe he'll never actually get any better, but trying means a whole lot more than just wanting to try. I shouldn't say this, shouldn't even think it, but Conrad only ever wants to try.

He thinks I forgive Dad after all the shit he put Mom through, all the shit he put us through. I don't, but I can't tell Con that. He never fucking listens. He thinks something and decides it's the word of God, or something. He doesn't care if it's true, or if you're offering the truth. He acts like some victim, like he's not lying in a bed that he put together. Hell, he wrote the manual.

I can't blame him though. I get it. That feeling that everything is out of control and all you need to do is control it but you just can't.

I wonder if Conrad thinks about me like I think about him. I wonder if every shitty thing I've ever said to him replays in the back of his head constantly — even if it'd be the same 4 things over and over, I was never quite as good at hurting as he is — if he would give just about anything to be me, if he's mad at me because he can't even be mad at me.

"What happened with you and Conrad?" Belly asks, and I know what she's asking: Who said it? Who said the thing neither of us can take back? I know she's wanted to ask for years.

"What are you talking about?" I can at least try to pretend I don't know, though.

"Your freshman year. You left and it was fine and you came back and I thought you two were gonna kill each other. What happened?"

"We had a fight." I really don't want her to know what I said, what he said. I can't handle her being mad at him for something he said over 3 years ago. And, secretly, I don't know what I'd do if she told me how much of a bad brother I am for what I said, for starting it.

"You guys had fights before that. Why was that one different?" I'm trying really hard not to just get up and leave, but the bed is so warm, and her arms feel so safe.

"It just was, Bells. Drop it. Please?" He's not mad at her, he knows she just wants to make it better. But it's not her's to make better.

"Okay," she says, a bit disappointed, but not mad. I hope it's not me she's disappointed in, I don't know how I'd live with myself if I disappointed her.

I almost ask her if I did, but decide against it. She's a lot like Mom, she's only a little mad until you ask her if she is, or apologize for what you did. Then she'll make sure you know how disappointed she is. She pulls me in closer to her, this time my head is resting on her chest. I start drifting almost immediately.

Someone knocks, and I think that if it was Laurel, she would've just walked right in and told us to keep the door open.

"Come in," Belly grumbles, clearly upset our nap was interrupted.

"Hey, I got you some crackers, Jere. I know they make you feel better when you're sick." Conrad is walking in, handing me a box of saltines and some NyQuil. I keep myself from telling him that NyQuil is for colds and flus, not throwing up. I know he means well, I won't take it out on him just because I'm feeling bitchy.

"Thank you," I whisper. I'm not sure why. I have a headache, but not severe enough to warrant whispering. It's almost like I'm scared of breaking the moment, scared of saying something that will set Conrad off. And when Con gets set off, so does Belly. And I've heard them going at it all week, I really don't need to right now.

"Of course, man. I'm gonna go hang out in the living room. Come down if you feel better, yeah?"

"Mhm," I answer, already turning back into Belly's warm body. Anxiety wears you out. That's the last thing I think before I finally drift off.

[feisaru]

Hello!

I'm so happy to see there is still people out there who loves people from the future!

Tell me, what do you think about the future of the Second Stage Children? Do you think Saru would really takes this vaccine without resistance ? How the adults treat him and Feida now that it's done?

Did Fey still hold some kind of grudge about Saru? His father?

I hope you can understand me, english is my second langage...

Have a good day and thank you for sharing your art I love it!

Hi anon!! I understand what you're saying just fine. Your questions flatter me (esp since it's the first time this is happening to me,,), but quick disclaimer: for whatever reason, I get a little nervous about posting thoughts that are dear to me all texted out online where people might find them. Which is a little funny since I actually write and analyze a lot, but alas. My go-to for expressing my hcs is drawing them out, as that feels less direct but still helps me get it out of my system. I usually talk about my stuff more directly with people I'm close with, as I feel like they get it more. I'll answer those, but much less elaborate than I could heh

Saru and vaxxing, huh... Saru had his fair share of doubts about it. Doubts that were breakdown-worthy, even. People have always just seen him as an SSC, not a person but a monster, so at some point he started to tie his own self-worth to his powers too. The list of insecurities is sheer endless. I don't wanna say anything I will not agree with in hindsight here, so I'll just go with the vaxxing itself went without further complications from his side (spare the semi-canon phobia of needles he has, according to the manga), but that he still had his fair share of head in hands moments beforehand, and that his now-lack of powers is something that is gonna weigh him and his recovery down for another few years.

He'll never forgive El Dorado for how they've treated him and what they've done, how fucked up they are. And neither is the world at large going to forgive him for what he's done. He's going to stay a man with many enemies. Even walking around the city casually will become a pretty dangerous thing, which is why neither him nor Fei are supposed to do it. El Dorado keeps monitoring him in the beginning so he doesn't try anything funny. His "fuck you" approach towards them pretty much stays the same. Even if Toudou wanted to strike a deal with him, he'd want nothing to do with it. He'll never trust anything they do.

I don't think Fei was ever really mad at Saru. If anything, he was disappointed and sad that Saru always kept on doing the same thing and pushed him away. They're working on that post-CS, just like they're working on everything else. About Asurei though?? OHHHHHHH boy there's a LOT unpack there. Fei does not immediately forgive him. He resents him, and it takes another few years until he actually becomes more open towards fixing their father-son relationship. And even then, it never quite becomes perfect, but at least it turns out okay.

Last but not least, thank you a lot, you're very sweet<3 You reminded me I ought to post here. Good day to you too!!

[fcdcdmcmories]

"AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE TO DO THAT? hm? because last time i checked, your father owns the police station and probably the lawyers and as far as i'm concerned, the whole damn town! he's not letting will go. and now? he'll make sure we know that too." how did she not see that this was not a good thing? that she was putting herself and them all in danger by behaving like this? pederson would make her pay - he'd make them pay and god, he didn't get it. how could she want to make him even more mad? "no," shaking his head. "there are things that need to be done that are unpleasant. SURE. but getting back there? back to being like him? someone that cares about no one except herself? NO." for the first time in a very long time, he was glancing at her like he was afraid. afraid of who she could become and afraid of all of this and did he even know her anymore? did he? "is that what you think that i'm doing? hiding away like a coward? i wanted to go after him. remember that? i wanted to kill him. you were the one that said no. you were the one that stopped me. maybe you shouldn't have," because she would have been fine and because she would have safe and maybe he would have been dead, but that would have been fine. anything was better than this. anything. he scoffed, shaking his head. "you have a horrible way of showing that, then. you don't lie to the best thing that's ever happened to you. nor do you play him for a fool, time and time again, because you know he loves you too much and that he'll just.. forgive it. always does, right?" shaking his head and moving a little further away. "it's what needs to happen. before one of us or both says something that can't be taken back. we.." he didn't even realise he was crying until his vision blurred, because.. no, this was not easy. not at all and how could it ever be? "we need some time. apart and away from each other, so.. i can try to fix this mess and you.. you can decide if this is still what you really want. in the meantime, i... i'll go and stay at a friend's place. it's for the best." he turned around, about to head for the door after stealing one last look at her, but.. it was that name. that name that stopped him where he was, because.. it was in his head ever since that fucker had said it. "paul, huh? your new best friend? you know.. your dear uncle? the one that this was all about and that you seem so keen to protect? he has a theory about why you two are so close out of a sudden. one that he was all too happy to use to mock me. and i wanted to say.. hey, cecilia wouldn't do that. i know my wife. she wouldn't do that to me, but.. that's not exactly true, is it?" he didn't want to believe it. deep down, he knew it and he knew that cory had been bullshitting him, but.. it wasn't just that. it had gotten tangled up in this mess and he couldn't tell a truth from a lie right now. "and yet, you somehow made it worse, hm? but very well. i'll go over and i'll drag that fucker here so he can do whatever you want him to do. IF IT BLOWS OVER AND GETS US ALL KILLED? OH, WELL. RIGHT? WHO CARES ANYMORE?"

@xtinyslip

cecilia didn't want this to become what it was steadily turning into. she really didn't. it was why a lot of what was being said, was left unanswered but there were CERTAIN elements of this that she wasn't going to be silent for. "maybe my move was reckless but if it works? it's going to be a move that he doesn't see coming. his attention will no longer be solely focused on will. we can get him out and make out that it was our plan all along for him to find out his way." she wasn't ashamed of the plan she'd created. she was perhaps bothered that he had to find out this way but he needed to remember who he was talking too. she wasn't a fucking idiot. "maybe me becoming that person again is how we survive this." did she mean every part of who she used to be? no. of course, not but again... they weren't going to survive this by being good people. at least, not good to other people. she hoped they were going to be good to each other but she seemed to have already fucked that up. "hiding like a coward, waiting for him to discover the truth on his own isn't going to go unpunished by him either. there's no fucking winning with the man, you know that." he knew that better than anyone because he'd been there more than anyone else ever had been."i wouldn't blink at using a kid if i thought it was going to have the affect that we need it too. he would watch him die screaming before he gave up what HE wanted." and what would that get them? a dead kid to clean up and dispose of. no, that was hardly ideal. besides, said dead kid was actual family. "because i see who i am clearly now…" that's how she could say that to him. SHE STILL DIDN'T THINK IT MADE SENSE FOR SOMEONE AS GOOD AND WONDERFUL AS HIM, TO LOVE SOMEONE AS FUCKING HORRIBLE AS HER. that was how she could say that. "i think of you what i always have, p. i may not have said it enough in the past, may not have shown it but you are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me." he was. hands down, he was and they were fighting… all this shouting and she didn't really know what the fuck this was even doing. when he said he didn't know her anymore, it was her turn to very quickly turn away. simply so he didn't see what that had done…. what him thinking that could do to her because it fucking hurt. parker had always known her, he knew her when she didn't even know her. when he asked if that was what she wanted from him, whether it was SPACE she needed. he may not have seen it but she was immediately shaking her head at that. "i don't care if you don't like me right now, i don't care if you want to stand here and fucking shout and cry all night but leave? you try to walk out that fucking door when we're like this? AND WE'LL HAVE A REAL FUCKING PROBLEM!" why couldn't she just ask him to stay like a normal person? because she wasn't a normal person and because she was damn hurt, and she was damn angry that he couldn't UNDERSTAND this. "i'm a difficult, terrible, selfish bitch that most people who find impossible to love and fuck them. that's on them but i've really been trying to own up to my shit, p so please, hm? believe me when i say that starting this plan alone was less about you and more about me. i was literally going to bring it to you as soon as i got the all clear from paul that cory was going to do it. i wanted to contribute again, bring you something GOOD to the table with all this. you have done so much, i wanted to show you and fuck it ; MYSELF that i was still just as capable... if not more than i used to be." and that was the hand on heart truth. she didn't know she was still crying until she sniffled, realising just how puffy her eyes must be. "don't turn around now, i must look dreadful." a soft tease, not that it was much of one, using her fingers to rub any tears that were still adamant on falling. @fcdcdmcmories

[bemylord]

ꜱ/ᴏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʟɪɴɢʏ │ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇꜱ

↳ characters: satoru, itadori, megumi, toji, nanamin, sukuna.

↳ warnings: it's fluff part, so there's no angst or hurtful things [some parts might be spicy].

↳ butler's remark: finally have dropped the last part of this angst theme.i don't know what kind of dr#gs i used when i was writing the last three.

↳ part one;

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ:

he'd be very sad and angry at himself for screamed at you. he didn't mean to push you away because of his fatigue. as he recalled the phrase you dropped before leaving: 'i'm gonna cuddle with megumi-kun' this phrase goes on and on in his head as he runs into your room. he knocked first, hoping you're alone. he knocked again, but there's no response.

'my baby, i'm so-so-so sorry, baby.' he just jump to the bed, wrapping arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his body. 'no, don't cry because of me, i'm the worst boyfriend ever.' he kisses the top of your head.

yuuji will cry with you if you'd continue to sob your nose, burying your face as deep as it's possible in itadori's chest, unable to deny his necessity. he's comforting you in his arms, whispering praising phrases about you.

'i was a fool, y/n, please forgive me.'

'promise me you'll never scream at me like that.'

instead of words, but kissed your lips, nodded his head. yuuji will show his love and affection by kisses and hugs, holding you tight to keep you from running away.

'y/n, i love you.'

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ:

you've decided not to leave but stay home, waiting as long as his malice calm down. you were waiting for him in the bedroom, still grieved by the last words. you know megumi wasn't serious - he hates being beaten up by todo or satoru, you also know that he'll be a puppy right after a bath.

he showed up in the room in the home shorts, aimlessly rubbing the back of the neck, breathing out what caught your attention.

'i shouldn't have let the anger gets the best of me, y/n.'

bruises and abrasions are coaxed on his upper body and face as it brings the pain when he sits on the bed. he again rubs the skin, nervous to ask you to heal him.

'i-i would like..'

'i'll heal you, 'gumi.'

he smiles, seeing you tenderly how you treat wounds. he thought you were going to kill him after the acuteness, but here you are, helping your lover.

'i don't deserve you y/n, you always have been so kind to me. i'm sorry for being a moron, my angel, i didn't mean it.'

you took him of guard by a quick, yet lovely kiss on the lips.

'i will make it up to you, i will change.'

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ:

you may think it'll take days or weeks for him to the realization of what did he do. you were a naive one by leaving the gold wedding ring on the table, thought he won't notice.

'i am not a servant or errand girl, i'm his wife!'

perhaps, you thought he won't sniff as you're leaving the house, silly. he has a perfect hearing to hear where you're going and what you left.

'what a jerk i fell in love for, had the misfortune to marry that...'

'to marry that?'

he finished your sentences, turning your body by your arm.

'need a woman to meet your needs, toji? i've had enough.'

his strong arm didn't let you a chance to leave the place you stand, only pulling you by the chin to look into the loving eyes.

'fool, you're my woman, my wife, and the mother of my future children.'

'regret?' he gasped into your lips before kissing them, nibbling lightly on your lower lip.

'i'll do anything to make you forgive me. should i ea-?'

'home, toji, home!'

'by the way, if you ever take the ring off, ohh. doll~'

ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏᴜ: [i think i was h1gh, no hate on me after]

i heard about the woman that have called her boyfriend about thosand or more times, so.. it's satoru. satoru has been calling you since you've left the house, maybe, you'd pick up the phone if you weren't be fury at your boyfriend.

you were walking in the park where gojo first confessed his love. your first kiss and something more than a kiss. that place you will always remember is the tallest and oldest tree in the park. noticeable and stately. as you came to the tree you heard someone behind you.

'you knew it's my place, y/n!' what? is that a touchy voice?

'whatever i'm leaving.'

'where do ya goinnng~~'

'home.'

'fine, i'm walking home too. take you home?'

'we live in the same house.'

'that's better! wanna watch netflix and chill?'

i'd say you're mad at him, but i'll lie. he's so funny and cute, how can you resist?

'don't act like a clingy, gojo.'

'you began first. ok-ok, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.'

you had to gag him with a kiss because he would have continued talking nonsense. acting like a child. he lifted you by the waist, kissing you and whispering sweet phrases.

'i love when you're clingy, my baby, i was- i feel so bad due to the work, my angel. soon we'll be going on the mission.'

he lowered you to the ground, kissing you on the tip of your nose.

'let's pick some flowers and make a wreath, shall we?'

'we'll get arrested.'

'you can run, y/n.'

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

you were taking a bath on your own, drowning in the tears - as you've mentioned you're overly clingy and vulnerable and nanami had had known this. he knew you could be sticky when you haven't seen him in a few hours - but does it badly? he knocked twice on the door, waiting for your response.

'darling, mm-' he hesitated as if you'll reject him. 'may i come in?' you only made a quiet mumbling sound, but it was enough for him to enter the bathtub.

he took off his suit, joining you. no matter how much you try, he will see your weeping eyes.

'i shouldn't have yelled at you over a hard day. darling, come to me, tell me how your day went.'

'not before you tell me about yours.'

you sat on his lap, massaging his sturdy, tired shoulders, helping him relax.

'taking a bath like that with you after a day's work is what i like best.'

he kisses your lips as your palms still find themselves on his shoulders. anyway, nanami doesn't want his future wife to cry over him - he'll be the best husband.

ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ:

it has been weeks since you didn't interact with the king: neither you didn't come to his domain nor answer on his questions. when his sudden mouth appeared on yuuji's cheek, asking you to immediately come to his domain, you didn't feel the need to respond sukuna, irritating him.

you were waiting 'till the king will utterly be pissed off by your behavior, taking the possession of the vessel body to finally have a conversation with you.

'y/n, do something! sukuna has been so furious that i can hardly restrain him.'

'the king wants to see the stupid girl?' you crossed arms over the chest, letting out a sigh of relief - finally. 'i'm coming, sukuna.' you touches yuuji's chest to find yourself being instantly on sukuna's lap.

'you've been ignoring me for weeks, woman.'

'i wonder why? because i'm stupid and clingy?'

sukuna pulled the loose strands of hair out of your face carefully, so as not to hurt you with a claw. he cups your cheeks, making you stare directly at him in the eyes.

'i won't say it twice, so hear me out.' he kissed your lips with fondness, which was not characteristic of him. 'i'm sorry, okay?'

from now on, you can show off that the king of curses said sorry to you. be proud of yourself, 'till his eyes are cast dark hue, palms found themselves on your hips.

'i've been alone for days and days, y/n,' you could feel something raising underneath you. 'and why through all bastards you've chosen satoru?'

someone is jealous..

however, i have a feeling that there will be some sort of sequel...

tag my cuties <3

@monisi @herhappyplace @h3artfiilia @din0plushie @giaduuh @schleepyflocci @creammy0 @rmjace @whogonprayformee @wwholesome-vibes @blacckkwiddow @sivaneeee @deepcowboywerewolf @royaltyofwinterfell @bakugo1819 @electroniclightjudgeghost @alexganes @tonks221 @spn-obession @superbheropeachtrash @strwbrry-lia @sterieshinso @daynada @butyfigers @lonely-dreamer @adorenoya @fluffymarshmellowcat @cloudsinthecosmos @itsonyxpected @itspastellemons @kingdomblvck @lovliecs @doodledee-png @neo-lucien @fl4mepillar @musichime07

↳ back to the main master list.

[thesoulesscollection]

Hello. New to Tumblr, and thought of a fun ask.

It might be a bit tricky, but might I request a story about any of the surviving Museum Staff after TK/T4L? Some of them feeling guilty for not stopping Henry ultimately leading to the Orbital Station going up and Henry effectively ruling the world? I feel there’s a good amount of angst potential there and it’s always fun seeing the hardly discussed characters get some attention.

Heya, it's nice to see a new face so I hope your stay here is great and that you have fun. Thank you for the prompt request. My ask box is always open for anyone to flood it with anything. Apologies if this took a while, one-shots take me a while to write. 

Tw/Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Supportive Friendship, Minor Violence, Mild Language, Mild Mature Content, Ambiguous Past Relationships & Ambiguous Ending (Maybe Hopeful?)

Character(s)

Kurt Dietrich 

Johnny Panzer (In my interpretation or at least, for this one-shot, he's still alive) 

In a run-down, dingy, local bar in town there were two men, friends since their mid teens, sitting together in a booth drinking their feelings, stresses, and overall anything they didn't want to experience down with rich alcohol.

"Can't believe that bastard went into space?" Kurt cursed, head laid on his palms, watching the TV and what's on screen nearly angered him to the boiling point. "Even the military couldn't stop him, it seems. That fucking blows" 

A recent raid done by the Toppats with another failed attempt by the Military to stop them which made Kurt lose faith in ever seeing an end to the madness on earth. 

"I know. But there's nothing we can do about it now. We should just leave it to the military. Hopefully they can handle that ordeal" Glancing at the taller man who was still in uniform he irritably huffs as the other continues in seemingly good spirits, "There has to be an end. You see the clan never had luck on their side for too long? More so especially with their leaders. One day their newest leader has to slip. Sooner than later, I believe" 

Tensing then relaxing it was hard to believe. Henry Stickmin, known for his luck, would ever slip up. It's near damn impossible. Kurt knew this from past experiences leaving a sour taste in his mouth worse than the cheap booze he drank. What he soon felt was regret though he'll never admit to it. 

"We could've. I should've at least. I had that stinken' chance and blew it. I could've lost my job, livelihood over this and he was right there so reckless in the museum" 

"It's not your fault though, Kurt. Nor was it anyone else who'd worked there either. It just happened. You did your job as you could've in that situation. That's all that anyone can hope for" Johnny went to explain, shrugging his shoulders, taking in a small hesitant sip then recoiling at the bitter taste. 

With his free hand, Kurt motioned over to the TV screen up above where it showed a quick shot of the Toppats' current leader, "I guess. But look at him. That Stickmin is a fucking smug ass dick thinking he owns the damn world" 

"He doesn't. One day he'll simply trip over it and maybe hopefully be caught. Even better he will get punished for all his crimes" 

"I can only hope. He could've seriously hurt someone. He's doing that anyways right at this very moment. He almost killed you by the way and I simply can't dare to forgive him for that neither" 

"But I'm fine now. A little scar on the forehead"  

"It could've been worse-" 

"I get it. Jeeze. That's all I hear, y'know. You're almost as bad as my dad. All that happened is I got knocked out by a ROCK while chasing him in the cruiser"  

Biting at his tongue Kurt gulped nothing then the musky air filling the constricting bar, looking down at his half empty glass contemplating something in his head. 

"I care about you as a friend. Sometimes I really wish things were different. If I acted differently. If I hadn't been so damn brash and rude like I didn't care about literally anything or anyone. Maybe he'll still be here. Mushy as that sounds, I get it" 

There was a slight painful understanding between them, they didn't intend to push too further on it as Johnny just shifted in his seat opposite to his friend. 

"He's out there somewhere. Doing better,  I hope. I know for sure that Dave doesn't truly hate you. Upset perhaps and another point he can't truly hate anyone" He calmly reassured. 

Nodding silently, Kurt finished his drink in one, large gulp, "Hm. He was such a nice guy even if he anxiously chatted a mile a minute. I felt like he was desperately trying to get close to me, like he needed a friend or something, however I pushed him away in annoyance. I bet that's why he left soon after that whole Stickmin incident among the obvious reasons of course"

"Again. Don't worry about it too much. You go into a downward spiral again. He's doing fine most likely then not and maybe you didn't act nice at the time but you've changed. You're doing better too" 

"Suppose so" 

"One day, Kurt. Everything will change for the better. There will be a time where you'll feel satisfied. Happy even" 

One day Kurt truly hopes. It may seem far fetched in his cynical eyes although he can still wish. Dream of a better life with the people he truly finds himself caring for, opening up entirely to without shame, and for once starting to live out a more fulfilling life. Though he tends to stay realistic, taking one baby step at a time. So he called it a night, not drinking away his issues when cracking an amused smile at his old friend. 

"Yeah. One day" 

[keity-devil]

I have this idea like, two days ago, and now it's here.

Context.

From @breathlessmorro beautiful SCP (Ninjago) Au.

--

After Nine Days After Suffocation

--

The first day after suffocation.

Morro was waiting, he didn't know what he was waiting... Oh, Kai. He still felt awful after that.. suffocation.. that he was forced to do to Nya. He didn't want that, but it happens. It was awful, he didn't think he was ever going to do that to anyone he cared about ever..

Half the day had passed and no sign from Kai. Morro's wind had become choppy, as had his form of air. An equally agitated smile had appeared on his face, a hurt one.

"It's okay. It's with Nya. It's okay.. H-he needs space. To calm down. Yes.. A day or two is fine. Mhm. I can resist.."

The day after suffocation.

Morro felt suffocated, smiling in pain. He flew slowly from one corner to the other, looking at the bars with sadness every time, after at his hands. Transparent.. wounded.. Criminal.

"..With these hands that possess power I made her unconscious.. I hurt her.." His voice broke at the end. "I'm really a monster."

The third day after suffocation.

"I'm sure he'll come tomorrow, I'm sure of that!" He was lying to himself. He knew deep inside, but he still hoped... a lot.

He could feel the soul that was still in him alive, breaking in two. It was painful how the person he cared about so much, loved him with all his heart, trusted him... to hate him, not to talk to him, not to want to look at him at all. It hurt terribly. He could feel a terrible pain in his heart, causing him to fall into a dark corner of the cell and lie there for the rest of the day.

The fourth day after suffocation.

He had not appeared.

Morro listened in horror to the silence around him, from the same place where he had fallen the day before.

'I lost him... he hates me..'

The wind had become cold, sharp, beginning to hurt him, making visible signs on the human side of him that could be seen a little in its incomplete form of wind.

'I deserve it... fully.'

He closed his eyes, letting the depressing, brutal wind in him to hurt him.

The fifth day after suffocation.

A sphere created of sadness, despair, hatred of oneself and other thoughts and feelings that Morro could not decipher, is created overnight in that cell filled with pain.

The wind became uncontrollable and brutal minute by minute. No one touched him or approached at all. They did not know what was happening to him if he had succeeded, but they were interested in his evolution, in the evolution of his inexplicable pain for them.

Surprisingly, Kai hadn't found out about this. He hadn't heard anything about it. If he had, he would have been with him already.

The sixth day after suffocation.

"It's ok.. it's ok! I knew this relationship will not stay.. It's OK!! It's ok..! It's ok..!"

If you went inside, you could feel yourself running out of oxygen. He was cold, sharp, brutal, full of sadness and other negative emotions in him. You could tell that his condition was slowly getting worse. A broken heart is the deadliest, it can kill you easily, slowly... but lethally.

The seventh day after suffocation.

The wind stopped a little. The sphere slowly evaporates overnight. Morro now possessed wounds on his skin, and others would soon accompany them.

The eighth day after suffocation.

The wind subsided, leaving a windless owner with no strength or hope in him. He stared blankly into the outside of the cell.

"Heh.." A small shattered smile appeared on his lips. "He hates me.. hehe.. he..."

However, some of him zealously refused. In his mind.. come as if by a miracle the desire to go to him the next day, at least to see him..

The ninth day after suffocation.

Morro had had enough, having the courage to escape containment. There had been gusts of wind. The gusts were sluggish. They were not fast and agile as usual, they were wounded and easy to catch.

Crossing the hallways to Nya's cell, there.. he had seen Kai with his sister. Morro felt himself suffocate again with fear, but he was also calm that Nya was better.

He approached her, slowly playing powerlessly with her hair.

Kai felt something strange suddenly enter the atmosphere of the cell. He look around for that. Nothing. When he returned, he could see how his sister's hair was lightly beaten by the wind.

He sighed.

He realized who was, it wasn't that hard. He was trying to remember/count how many days he hadn't spoken and seen Morro. Nine days.. nine days. There were many. What if Morro hadn't appeared now? Would he have continued to avoid him?

He sighed again.

"Morro, I know you're here. Come out. You don't have to hide." He said calmly.

The Soul of the Wind perishes for short seconds. It didn't matter how calm or gentle Kai's voice was, how he was.. he was scared. He become visible.

Kai looked at him for a while. Something was... off. But he didn't know what. He couldn't see what was it.

"Morro, I.. I'm sorry I didn't stop by your cell. I wanted to calm down.. I knew that my sister's suffocation was not intentional, it was forced.. but I felt like I was getting mad there."

'Because of me... It's my fault!'

"Angry that you were forced to do this and because Nya was in pain, not at you." He finishes, now looking at Morro's own scared and guilty eyes. "No... don't tell me you thought- Morro.. Oh no, no, no! I'm not angry at you, hey."

Morro could no longer control his emotions. No longer hearing the voice of his love, he wanted to cry there, to run, to disappear from the face of the earth. That's not because of his destabilized emotions.

The wounds were visible. Kai hadn't noticed them, he was too worried about Morro's emotional state. But Nya.. YES. She put her hand to her mouth in shock, she couldn't believe what she saw.

"Morro," Kai continued.. until he looked closely at Morro's appearance. "What.. what happened to you..?! Why- " He had taken his hands, still looking at the wounds. "You would... no.. you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that. Right? Morro, right? Right?!"

Morro looked down, nodding. Kai felt that he had made a huge mistake to stay away from his love for so long, especially after what happened...

"Nya.. can I.."

"Of course. Go." Nya understood what he wanted to say, and she agreed. He also wanted Morro to be emotionally well.

"Thanks."

He took his boyfriend from one place to another. Kai sat down, and Morro sat down next to him. He would usually put his head on the fiery shoulder and hold his hand. But now Morro was afraid to do it. What if it hurt him too? He would not forgive himself till his death.

Kai took Morro's hand in his, squeezing it slowly. "Hey, I love you. I'm not leaving you, I'm here.. with you."

Morro stared at him, feeling that pain in his heart again. He leaned over Kai, slowly tucking his head under his neck. The gusts of wind were just as weak.. but gentle.

"Everything's fine.. okay?"

Morro approves with a kiss, after.. they start to enjoy each other..

After Nine Days After Suffocation.

[dottiechan]

ICEBREAKER Pt. 2 & 3

Read on AO3 (link in bio)

Part 1 | Part 2&3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader x Hunter

Wordcount: 2060 (Pt. 2); 2050 (Pt. 3)

Summary:

Pt. 2:  Three are awake on the Marauder. Two are holding onto one another. One is barely holding on. (Hunter-centric chapter)

Pt. 3:  You can only keep saying no to your old addictions for so long before they return with full force. (Crosshair-centric chapter)

Warnings: cursing, smoking & implied nicotine addiction

Part 2

The stars streak and melt against the abyss of space, unsteady and bleeding. You miss the stationary points of light, precise and dependable and easy. Stars make constellations that guide you, that show you the way even when you're lost. Hyperspace just confuses you, chills you to the very bones, makes you feel more lost than you already do. Which, to be fair, is not too difficult right now.

Having left the ice planet behind after the successful elimination of a remote Separatist research centre, you're en route to Kamino once more. What's more, you have the cockpit all to yourself, and you sit with your knees up, head rested back, throat exposed, undone by the comfort of solitude as you allow yourself to lower your guard. It'd be peaceful on any other day.

But your mind is plagued by Tech's revelation.

Your rational side knows he must have made a mistake. After all, what's the chance of either of them liking you? And why would they? You're fighting together, and you're bleeding, and sweating, and trying, and maybe even dying together. But that's nothing more than what's expected of you, of each soldier of the GAR, clone or otherwise. You're coexisting now, but you could be reassigned at any moment really. You try to convince yourself that you wouldn't feel the change, that working with a squad other than the Bad Batch wouldn't chafe you terribly, but you see through your own lies.

Of course you'd hate it.

Where would you be without Tech's advice and sage-like aura? Without Wrecker's enthusiastic support? Without Crosshair correcting your stance when you shoot, without him always watching your six? Without Hunter's hand on your shoulder, saving you from dangerous situations, but also, and maybe most importantly, even from yourself?

It would be easy to answer those questions. But you don't have the power to do so now.

So you sit back, wishing for simpler times, times when your greatest worry was Bracca and thinking they hated you. You'd rather they hate you than... than what Tech said. Somehow the idea of either of them liking you in an unprofessional way, even remotely, sends your head spinning. It makes your throat constrict, it makes you feel unworthy and angry and confused beyond belief. The idea of both of them liking you at the same time - as outlandish as it sounds - just makes you absolutely lose your mind.

So you try not to think about them, you try not to think about Hunter's softness, and Crosshair's piercing gaze, and what it would be like to let them close to you. They already feel closer than what you're comfortable with. Maybe they are already closer than you know.

But they can't get any closer. You can't let them, and you promise yourself to shut them the fuck out. No, you don't deserve this, you don't deserve them fucking up whatever respect you've built up with the squad. And you don't have the right to mess up their friendship either. They belong with each other, all of them, and no matter how much you like calling them your boys inwardly, they'll never be yours. They'll always be a family, with or without you. And just who are you to tear it apart?

You try so hard to fit in, but it all seems too much, as if the four walls around you were pressing closer and closer until you suffocated, and you breathe in shakily, afraid of your doubts manifesting into anxiety.

But the slight tremor in your fingers is a telltale sign you can’t ignore. You are good at repressing emotions in the heat of battle, but you weren’t engineered to feel no stress. Nature formed you to thrive on it.

...

He's been awake ever since you refused to turn in and insisted on staying in the cockpit. Hyperspace en route to Kamino is the safest possible space travel for the squad, but he doesn't argue with you. At some point, Crosshair is up - he knows it's him from the very specific way his feet touch the ground. He skulks about the ship for a while before returning to bed. And then it's just you.

He's trying his very best to ignore you, he presses his pillow over his head and bites down on his lower lip so hard it almost draws blood. He hates the power you have over him, he hates how he can't have anything to himself anymore that isn't tainted by thoughts of you. And apparently, he can't even fucking sleep without knowing you're okay, calm, quiet, dozing off, hopefully dreaming about him.

But your next breath, it really sounds disturbed, almost gasping, and his heart clenches in his chest. He'd protect you from your very own thoughts too if he only knew how, but he grows shy whenever he sees an opportunity to really be there for you. All he ever wanted was to make you happy, and he doesn't know how it ended up like this, how his own happiness ended up being intertwined with yours so irreversibly. His own breathing grows a little more restless, chest rising and falling with your anxiety, throat tightening with your worry, mouth running dry with your confusion. And he'd take it all from you if he could, he'd drain you of all of your worries and pains if he knew you'd feel better.

He says he hates the power you have over him, but what he really hates is his inability to fight it.

He slips out of his bed, carefully and quietly to not wake the others, for once in his life grateful for Wrecker's loud snoring as it covers the sound of his footsteps on the metal flooring.

Before opening the door leading to the cockpit, he looks down at himself in his blacks, bandana abandoned with his gear back at the crew's quarters. He runs his fingers through his long curls in vain, fighting the urge to turn back and make himself more presentable, someone you could like. He's not doing this for himself, he scolds himself, but his insecurities keep buzzing in the back of his mind as he presses the button on the control panel and enters.

You've been crying.

The red rims around your eyes shatter his heart into a million pieces almost instantly, and he struggles to say anything for a second as you stare back at him wide eyed, startled. You're beautiful and sad and Hunter just wants to undo your pain any way he can. He'd be your collateral damage if you'd only let him.

"You should be resting," you say suddenly, the heels of your palms flying up to your tear streaked cheeks in a futile attempt to hide the fact that you've been crying. He wishes you wouldn't, he wishes you were comfortable with just being unapologetically yourself around him, sharing whatever sorrows and joys you had in your heart with him.

"I couldn't... You..."

"I'm fine." The little lie is so soft, almost like a caress against his cheek, a plea to let you wallow in your own misery. He'd never forgive himself for walking away now, and he can't understand why you want him to treat you so shitty.

"As your superior, I have a duty to make sure you're alright." He wants to wince when his words escape his mouth - he sounds so strict and stuck up and distant, and he wants to take it all back when a sour smile appears on your lips for a split second.

"I'm not crying as a soldier."

Hunter wills himself to sit, and forces himself to keep holding your gaze even though he wants to retreat. He's afraid, he's never been so close to breaking around you, but that damned shine in your bloodshot eyes doesn't let him back down. He knows he's already started down his road. Maybe it was time to commit to it.

"Well, I'm not asking as your sergeant then. I'm asking as your-"

"Friend?"

"I'm whatever you need me to be."

"I can't talk about it," you say after a short pause, looking away, leaving Hunter wonder whether that flush on your cheeks is because of him or not. He's disappointed you don't trust him, but he can't really be mad at you. He probably wouldn't trust himself in your place. And yet he can't stop yearning and wanting and tripping over his damn feet to make you feel better.

"That's okay. I'm still here, if you need me."

But maybe you don't need him, he thinks, his heart sinking, as he watches the colours of hyperspace reflect in your silent eyes. He stands, a hand stretching out towards you. He grabs the leather of your seat, digits sinking into it with helplessness before letting go completely, of the headrest, of your sadness, of you, and allows his own hell to swallow him up completely. He'll go back to his cot, and Wrecker snoring, and Tech mumbling in his sleep, and he'll listen to your misery in silence, suffering along mutely with every hitched, disturbed breath of yours. If that's how you want it to be, then he doesn't have the strength to change your mind.

You grab him in the corridor, catching him off-guard. He's always been off-centre around you, but so far it was only your retreats that unbalanced him. Your proximity is another intoxicating distraction, and for a moment, he feels like he can't move, he can't swallow, he can't reach out to touch you.

But you're hugging him, and how could he not return it?

Change comes slowly for him. First, it's his fingers that find your hair, and they tangle themselves in it at the nape of your neck tentatively. Your face is turned away from him, but your cheek is pressed firmly against his shoulder, and your arms have him locked in a tight hug, your ice cold fingertips seeping in his own heat. Hunter can't think straight, but he knows he's your lifeline now, and he slowly warms up, and tightens his embrace around you, and eventually holds you as if the world was ending, and you seem to need it. If only he could make your problems disappear simply by squeezing you against himself tightly enough.

It's unprofessional, so unprofessional, and yet nothing felt more natural to him than you in his arms, his nerve endings singing with the joy of your proximity. Now that he knows how sweet having you this close can truly be, he doesn't know how he's ever going to go entire days without your embrace. As if he needed anything else to prevent him from sleeping peacefully. He doesn't think he's slept well ever since you joined his team, and he doesn't seem to find it in his heart to regret it. It's bad, and destructive, and unhealthy, but it's also out of control, and Hunter promises himself not to stand in its way anymore.

No more swimming against the tide.

He just wishes, so desperately wishes he didn't have to hurt Crosshair in the process.

...

Fucking hell, he knew it'd hurt, he knew it'd come, inevitable and destructive like a tsunami, but he never actually believed it would be this bad, this paralysing. He hates it, he just wants it all to stop, he just wants to get out. But loving you doesn't seem to have an exit, and just like with breathing, the only way he'll stop doing it is when he dies.

But what's even worse than all the repressed anger and helplessness and loneliness is the hope, small and fragile but blinking steadfastly amidst the darkness of his feelings. The hope that - despite you being in Hunter's arms right now - somehow you'll still end up falling in love with him. It's false hope, Crosshair knows, but he just can't help holding onto it like a fucking lifeline.

He leans his head against the doorframe for a second, dizzy and momentarily overcome with sickness. Then he turns and lays down, curling up alone. Crosshair can't watch another second of this, of Hunter acting out all his forbidden fantasies until there's nothing left for him anymore.

He squeezes his eyes shut, but all he sees is Hunter's fingers tangled in your hair.

Part 3

You glance sideways, head propped up on your hands. He's surveying the street once more through the scope of his rifle. You consider yourself a rational person, someone who's not gross and would never violate any lines of decency, but there's something so unbelievably attractive about Crosshair as he aims his sniper rifle that you have a hard time restraining yourself from staring too much. Well, maybe you're willing to cross a few lines for him, but what the hell.

This stakeout is lengthy and has you stretched a little too thin anyways. Might as well pass the time with something.

Crosshair seems bored as well, more restless than usual. He lowers his gun and slings it over his shoulder, and you observe his lazy but meticulous movements, hoping to catch his attention before the silence drives you absolutely crazy. He comes to sit beside you on the rooftop as you watch the busy streets below you. You both know the rhythm of this place by heart now. First, there's a great bustling crowd in the late afternoon, mostly the poor workers of the adjacent factory fighting their way over to the beaten up shuttlebus station, and the merchants packing up shop and going home, leaving their stalls behind for the night. Then there are a few odd stragglers later, mostly seeking out the cheap watering hole on the other end of the street. And then around midnight, your separatist spy would finally show up to drop off his intel in the form of old, harmless looking datacards in a seemingly abandoned alley that ends in a cul-de-sac.

And then of course you'd alert the squad before the intel was retrieved, and Tech would make copies and start tracing the spy's sources, while Hunter would inform Commander Cody about the developments. Because there's a war on the other side of the planet that your information can help win, and while things look sad and boring here, at least this dusty city hasn't been bombed into oblivion yet.

"I can't wait to finally get the jump on this guy."

"Tech says we ought to wait a few more days," you remind Crosshair as you stretch your feet out in front of you.

"We're wasting our time here. There's a battle to be won on this very planet. So why are we stuck with this boring job?"

"Don't you like spending time with me?" you tease him, but you're scared of his answer, so you don't give him enough time to respond. "This is important. We're saving lives, Cross."

He bristles at the nickname, but nods reluctantly in the end. You hope it's the job he can't stand, and not you, because deep down you like this, you like not being shot at, you like having the upper hand, you like spending time with Crosshair, away from Hunter's suffocating lingering heavy with expectations posed towards you. You're none the wiser since you had that conversation with Tech some time ago, but you're all the more confused, and you're trying even harder to get back to how things were before. So maybe taking a page from Crosshair’s book and outright ignoring Hunter wasn’t the smartest idea, but you don’t have a better one yet.

"And who's going to save us before we die of boredom?"

From somewhere he produces a cigarette, and he flicks his toothpick off the roof before placing it between his lips. You raise your eyebrows, and he catches your eyes and smirks. He knows you've been trying to beat your own addiction, he knows how Hunter fucking hates the smell of smoke lingering about you, and maybe at this point he's only doing this to spite him, but he lights it, takes a drag and offers it to you.

"I really shouldn't," you wince, your rekindled craving suddenly running rampant in your veins. "I've been off it for a few months now."

"I've only got the one. But suit yourself," he shrugs, and takes another drag, smoke curling past his parted lips so enticingly that you lean closer involuntarily.

"I can't let you ruin your lungs alone." You break, and extend your hand. He chuckles, his fingers brushing against yours as he passes you the lit cigarette. You inhale the smoke, and you remember why you used to be so hung up on this shit as the nicotine soaks in your blood. Then you look at Crosshair, sweet and angry and oh so bitter Crosshair, and you soak him in too, unsurprised when he triggers the same reaction in you as nicotine does.

You remember why you used to be so hung up on him and you swallow hard, because all you can think about is what Hunter would say if he knew.

...

"I think I'm getting some sleep."

"Knock yourself out."

"I don't get how you're not tired."

"I am." If only you knew just how tired he really is, with all the pretending he has to do, with all the looking away whenever Hunter is by your side, hands drawn to you as if you were magnetic. But you are magnetic, you fucking are, he knows, he has a hard enough time to tear his gaze away from you constantly. He dreads to even think of what it would be like to have to keep his hands away from you too. He'd probably go mad.

That's why he never touches you, he avoids you, he withdraws like the losing party he is.

"Well, spyboy has already made his appearance tonight. It wouldn't be characteristic of him to come back again," you shrug. “Maybe we could both turn in for the night.”

"You really don't understand the concept of a stakeout, do you?" A snort and an adjustment to his posture later he's back to being mean to you because he needs to reinforce those walls he's pulling up between you. He'll be as cold as ice and you will burn your fingers and pull back and never come close to him again. Or at least that's the plan, he can't account for all times he's slipped out, all the times you made him laugh, made his heart race, made him wish he was more bite than bark with you. "There's a reason why we need two people here, remember? Someone needs to watch the street while I'm resting. Otherwise it'd be pretty difficult for me to do my job properly."

You take the bait so easily, and the pout and the crossed arms almost makes him smile. "Oh, so that's all I am here? Your backup? Your sidekick? Number two?"

"Pretty much." It clearly hurts you, but you deserve it a little. After all, he's your number two as well.

"It's such a joy working together with you."

Satisfied, Crosshair turns back to the street, ignoring the ache in his heart. He goes against his own wishes, but he's always taken care of himself, and he knows what's best for him. And pining after you like a lovesick cadet is not it, he can do so much better than that. You'll go now, probably pick a spot on the roof that is far away from him, you'll curl up on your mat and fall asleep, angry with him for the rest of the night.

But damn you, you're probably right, and the spy's not coming back again.

When you sit next to him, he's blinking in confusion, blank, nothing witty coming to mind. You sigh, annoyed but already letting it all go. Your elbows are touching, and he's too afraid to move.

"Do you have another cigarette?"

"You think I was lying when I said I only had the one?"

"Yeah. I think you were planning on waiting for me to fall asleep and then smoke them all alone."

"Smart girl."

The praise awakens something feral and primal in you, but Crosshair is too busy fishing out his pack of smokes to see it. You're sitting under the stars soon, ducking behind the half wall to hide the burning tips of your cigarettes, arms pressed together as you lean into his side more. You flick the ash off absentmindedly, and he watches your fingers, knowing he couldn't possibly look into your eyes now without feeling things he shouldn't feel.

"I don't mind being your sidekick."

And there you go again, fucking up his plans once more as he has nothing smart to say. He just sits, and smokes, and ignores the drumming of his heart in his ears as he focuses on you being so close to him. Just one last slip-up, and he'll do better tomorrow, he'll chase you off, he'll make you fucking hate him. But tonight is his, selfish or not. Tonight he will steal from Hunter, and then he'll never insert himself into your life again.

By the time you've put yours out, he's already lighting a second cigarette, and you blink slowly, exhaustion creeping up on you. Crosshair is about to shove you, about to tell you to fuck off finally and get some sleep, but then you put your head on his shoulder and he shuts up.

He's too scared to move, to ruin this moment. Tomorrow, tomorrow he'll stay true to himself, but tonight, he'll stay true to you.

...

"They've missed their check-in."

"Actually, they haven't. Crosshair gave me a status update not long ago. Looks like it’s all quiet - we won’t be seeing more of our spy tonight.”

While Tech is busy tracing the origins of the spy’s latest intel, Hunter paces up and down the abandoned cellar they established as their momentary camp. This temporary imprisonment has them all restless and stupid and twitchy, and he blames his own jumpy nature on being so understimulated. Listening to nothing but Tech’s datapad and Wrecker’s whining all day in the dark and damp confinement of these four walls is enough to drive him positively mad.

It has nothing to do with not seeing you or hearing your voice for days on end, no. Nothing to do with not catching a whiff of your scent in the mouldy air underground. Nothing to do with knowing you’re up on a rooftop, exposed, with no other than Crosshair.

Hunter trusts him to keep you safe. But he’s being irrational and jealous even though it is totally unwarranted.

Because he loves you.

It was a hard labour, to give birth to that internal confession, but he’s never felt so relieved ever since he’s done it. He finally has a name to put to all the yearning and pain and hope he’s harboured for seemingly endless months. But you’re not ready, he knows that. And maybe he isn’t ready to say those words out aloud either, and yet he knows the day will come. Because in the corridor of the Marauder those few weeks ago, while the rest of the ship slumbered, the two of you shared a moment that meant something.

You’ve been careful not to repeat it again, and he’s respected your wish, but he sees the way you look at him. Sees the purposefulness in your avoidance of him. Hell, he can practically smell your confusion. So he backs up as much as he can to give you the much needed time and space to hopefully figure out how him wanting to be close to you makes you feel.

But he likes to keep an eye on you nonetheless, not necessarily just to keep you safe, but also for that. And allowing you to tag along with Crosshair on a stakeout doesn’t exactly help him do that.

So he paces, dragging along his love for you with every step, ignoring his festering jealousy. Crosshair doesn’t even seem to like you anymore, he’s been vocal about it lately too, so there’s nothing to worry about. Despite it being an irrational fear, he still dreads leaving you alone with him, but he won’t have it. He knows you and his brother better than this. He knows. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

And as Hunter paces, Tech occasionally glances up to check on his sergeant, his friend, heart heavy with worry not just for him, or you, or Crosshair, but for the future of the whole squad in general.

[sweetaesuga]

in your heart | his fridays

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: fluff, angst(?), established relationship, fratboy jk, ex-fuckboy jk, bookworm reader!

warnings: language, implied drinking, these two are crackheads basically

word count: 1.1k 

synopsis: your fridays without jungkook.

timeline: takes place after the events of in your eyes. 

↳ masterlist

a/n: my posts aren’t showing up under the tags :(((( so sorry for posting this many times. i tried linking a card of current issues going but it’ll hide this🥺

Something doesn't feel right.

It's surely the empty seat besides you where your boyfriend would usually reside but not today. He decided to go to a party his fraternity was throwing. He deemed you would hate him if he was to go to one ever since you started dating which is why he hadn't gone to one in so long. Jungkook even took you out for dinner. 

The whole night consisted of him being sweet to you, way too sweet. Not a jokingly insult was hurled your way how you two normally act towards one another. He took the chance to ask you if he could attend the party. 

The question struck you a bit. You didn't want him asking you permission to go somewhere, you never wanted to be that couple. You didn't want to eventually become the girlfriend who hogged all of his attention. You just wished he wouldn't bail out on you all the time like he used to. You assured him that he didn't have to ask you permission to go to such places yet he still felt awkward. 

Jungkook💓: are u sure about this??

Jungkook💓: i can always not go u know

Jungkook💓: if ur not ok with it 

sugar mama🥺: I'm fine with it!!! 

sugar mama🥺: Go have fun just don't do anything stupid without me

Jungkook💓: ok i luv u

His response threw you off. You've only been dating for two months and none of you have ever told each other you love one another. You don't dwell too much on the topic, simply brushing it off as Jungkook just being excited and he didn't genuinely mean it.

You sat on your couch, searching through Hulu. You contemplated whether or not to watch Rick and Morty, the show you two watch together. Knowing your boyfriend, he would whine about you watching it without him. You exited and scrolled through Netflix. Your attention was divided, one on the movie you were watching and the other on Jungkook's text. In the end you selected a random movie, choosing to just have it as background noise to swallow the silence in the room that was normally filled with Jungkook and you. 

You explored through your Instagram. Reloading your page again, your heart stopped. Taehyung had uploaded a picture. He was taking up most of the picture but Jungkook is still seen in the edge, grinning like an idiot with a bottle of beer in his hand. The others are a blur. 

You felt guilty for going ease from the sight of no girl nearby. You were still insecure despite his comfort. 

You liked the picture, reading the caption before going on to the explore page. You find yourself looking at memes, sending the funniest ones to Jungkook. You didn't care that you sent him twenty-two messages and he'll probably respond the next morning as long as he sent you twenty-two texts back instead of a singular response. 

It's around one in the morning when you receive a thread of messages from your boyfriend coming all at once. You were half awake, body threatening to enter slumber. You frowned with squinted eyes when your phone screen shined. Tiredly, you unlocked your phone. 

Jungkook💓: hiiiiiiiii

Jungkook💓: i miss u i'm sorry for not being there with u

Jungkook💓: forgive me🥺🥺

Jungkook💓: i think i'm drunk but not really

Jungkook💓: thank fuck autocorrect gets me cuz i'm like typing the wrong shir rn

Jungkook💓: i'm in my bed rn :((((

Jungkook💓: n i miss u so much like

Jungkook💓: so so sos osos osos odiosos much

Jungkook💓: wtf my keyboard just wrote that

Jungkook💓: is that spanish???

sugar mama🥺: Idk 

sugar mama🥺: R u ok???

sugar mama🥺: How much did u have to drink?? 

Jungkook💓: idk they just kept common u know??

Jungkook💓: fuckhdn i meant comming*

Jungkook💓: wait but like did u mist me too🥺🦆🥺

sugar mama🥺: Ofc i did🙄

sugar mama🥺: Now go to bed ur gonna feel like shit in the morning

jungkook💓: bet 

jungkook💓: IMG_3725.JPG

jungkook💓: dont my toes look prettyyyyukjd

sugar mama🥺: Stop we said we weren't into this feet shit n go to mf bed

Jungkook💓: ooooooo someone's mad that i got prettyer feet than them😌

Before you can reply to him, his name flashed over your phone screen. You swiped across the screen, bringing your phone up to your ear. You regret doing so as Jungkook screamed into the phone that he has more beautiful feet than you which you can not deny. There's a hiccup before he continued. "I'm like so fucking drunk right now. I miss you so much, I wish you came," his speech is a little slurred but you don't mind. "But I know you hate being surrounded by a lot of people, claustrophobic bitch."

You laughed into the speaker. Jungkook enjoyed every second of it. "You know what? At least I'm not afraid of a microwave." 

You heard him gasp on the other line. "Microwaves have the potential to blow up and shit! Why the hell are you afraid of a spider that's not even half your size?" Jungkook shook his head, remembering how last week you forced him to kill a spider in the corner of the room. He tried to convince you to leave it alone but you weren't having it. 

"They're fucking spiders! Almost everyone in the world is afraid of them even your mom!" he stayed silent for a second. Right when he was ready to defend himself he suddenly realized his mother does have a fear of spiders. "Aww, cat got your tongue, bubba?" 

Jungkook giggled, laying out on his bed. An empty spot next to him where your body would occupy it. He doesn't say anything else, choosing to listen to your breathing. You call out his name, wondering if he dozed off. Jungkook hummed into the speaker. "I think I'm going to have to cut this short and go to bed. I love you," he smiled only to be met with silence. His cheeks burned in embarrassment and he was ready to open his mouth and drunkenly take everything back. 

"Goodnight, don't think you're going to remember in the morning but I love you too," your voice was quiet. It almost drove Jungkook to tears from how small you sounded, almost as if scared to confess to him. 

He hung up first, falling asleep quickly despite being disturbed by the void place besides him. You don't fall asleep right after. In fact, you don't sleep the whole night. Your mind too focused on your conversation. 

Jungkook💓: HOLY SHIT HOW MUCH DID I DRINK

[papiliona]

On another note, Ranboo theatre fan truthing because this was definitely inspired by the song 'Confrontation' from Jekyll and Hyde (which is very cool actually!)

JEKYLL:

It's over now I know inside no one will ever know...

The sorry tale of Edward Hyde,and those who died...

No one must ever know.. (Ranboo feels like the things he did are his fault; he's panicking, and that's why he wants to hide the things that he thinks he's done wrong)

They'd only see the tragedy,

They'd not see my intent,

The shadow of Hyde's evil...

Would forever kill the good that I had meant... (his character means well, he wants the server to be at peace but his demons/Dream/suppressed evil are influencing him into thinking that the other characters, like Tubbo and Techno and Phil, will not forgive for things or believe him when he explains his actions)

Am I a good man?

Am I a mad man?

It's such a fine line between a good man and a... (morality crisis pog? :((()

HYDE:

Do you really think

That I would ever let you go?

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say,

It simply isn't so.

You will never get away from me! (Dream, or the Dream inside Ranboo's head, is an immortal, untouchable being as far as we know. He has no way of defeating the evil that he brings, and no way of healing his demons either.)

JEKYLL:

All that you are

Is a face in the mirror!

I close my eyes and you'll disappear!

HYDE:

I'm what you face

When you face in the mirror!

Long as you live, I will still be here!

(Pretty self explanatory; Hyde is part of Jekyll, as Dream is part of Ranboo right now. Ranboo subconsciously views himself as being evil and equivalent to Dream)

JEKYLL:

All that you are

Is the end of a nightmare!

All that you are is a dying scream!

After tonight,

I shall end this demon dream!

HYDE:

This is not a dream, my friend -

And it will never end!

This one is the nightmare that goes on!

Hyde is here to stay,

No matter what you may pretend -

And He'll flourish, long after you're gone!

JEKYLL:

Soon you will die,

And my memory will hide you!

You cannot choose but to lose control. (the actions he commits when blacked out are out of his control, it posseses him. And 'my memory will hide you' ; If Ranboo doesn't remember the truth about his actions will presumably be erased)

HYDE:

You can't control me!

I live deep inside you!

Each day you'll feel me devour your soul! (we see Ranboo is getting increasingly panicked, increasingly guilty; the dark part of his character is 'devouring' him in the sense it is consuming his integrity and ability to be confident in his own morals)

JEKYLL:

I don't need to survive,

Like you need me!

I'll become whole

As you dance with death!

And I'll rejoice

As you breathe your final breath! (looking for a way to remove Dream's voice and the dark part of his character. Like I said, Ranboo means well)

HYDE:

I'll live inside you forever!

JEKYLL:

No!

HYDE:

With Satan himself by my side!

JEKYLL:

No!

HYDE:

And I know that, now and forever,

They'll never be able to separate

Jekyll from Hyde! (Dream's voice is convincing Ranboo he is evil; he is consumed by guilt)

JEKYLL:

Can't you see

It's over now?

It's time to die!

HYDE:

No, not I!

Only you!

JEKYLL:

If I die,

You'll die, too! (maybe Ranboo has to die in order to get rid of whatever is causing him to do these things or think he is doing these things? If he's taking influence from this song then it could be interesting to loose a Canon life willingly in order to remove a kind of possession)

HYDE:

You'll die in me

I'll be you! (Dream might slowly be making Ranboo come under his will... Trying to fully turn him into the unconscious version of himself?)

JEKYLL:

Damn you, Hyde!

Leave me be!

HYDE:

Can't you see

You are me?

JEKYLL:

No!

Deep inside-!

HYDE:

I am you!

You are Hyde!

JEKYLL:

No - Never!

HYDE:

Yes, forever!

JEKYLL:

God damn you, Hyde!

Take all your evil deeds,

And rot in hell!

HYDE:

I'll see you there, Jekyll!

JEKYLL:

Never!

Okay so I really hope Ranboo's story doesn't end the same way as Jekyll and Hyde. I like his character he deserves to be happy! But yeh also angst 👀👀. I have nothing else to add but please watch the shitty Broadway version of this song its so fucking funny.