#finding videos of conventions
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Another The French Mistake type of episode but we see how unwell Jensen is about Dean and that fucking scares Dean. And oh boy, I'm sure it would be a hilarious episode.
#just imagine#dean going into jensen's trailer#finding jensen's notes about dean's character#sam going on jensen's computer#researching about jensen ackles like in the real episode#finding videos of conventions#where jensen talks about dean#how much he loves him#how he celebrates dean's birthday#how he wishes to be like him in some ways#dean would freak out#sam would joke about it and tease dean by saying that that jensen guy has a crush on him or something#but then they'll both look disgusted at that thought because dean and jensen look alike and that would be weird#do you see what I mean? can you see the vision?#dean winchester#jensen ackles#supernatural#spn 6x15#The French Mistake#sorry jensen but I love how crazy you are about dean because I am too#my random thoughts about spn#and while we're at it#it would be even funnier to see his reaction to the last crazy things misha said#just picture him hearing someone looking like cas saying all this shit#he would blush and then black out and fall on the ground with his nose bleeding#sam would be shocked and eventually would go find some help for dean#misha collins#destiel#deancas#my random thoughts about destiel
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental â near-existential â that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) â the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him â that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist â but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...đđđ. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room â the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him â and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there â at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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did a thing...
(bare with me, I have bad camera quality)
ian looked me in the eye & i'm still recovering
#im still recovering from the whole thing#everyone was so nice#and so freaking hot plz#the vampire diaries#tvd convention#tvd con#tvd con arlington va#daniel gillies#nate buzolic#candice king#michael malarkey#michael made my mom and i cry#and nate and riley were super fun#paul and ian were ofc perfect#ian had a hole in his jeans and my mom has a video of him finding it#candice is a gem#and daniel looked so good i was scared to approach him#also michael trevino was there and was great#i did not pay attention to the legacies kids lmao#ian somerhalder#paul wesley
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I don't remember ever having a crush on Tate from AHS and I think that makes me normal
#I did have a long lasting obsession with the Rosenheim Mansion tho#and when I found the blueprints online#I was so disappointed to find out that the kitchen wasn't really the kitchen from the actual house#only the pilot was filmed in the mansion#the rest of the season was filmed in a studio#the house also has an extension that must have been some kind of lunchroom#i think it was built when they turned the mansion into a convent#as well as the chapel#you can't see those things in the show#the house is actually not that spooky#the house was on the market for a while and there were so many real state videos and photos available#i think they're still around#anyway#it's just a house#but I can't be normal about it
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if you play music or videos out loud in public for longer than like 30 seconds you should be put to death by firing squad I think
#ven.txt#someone has been like playing videos in the hallways outside my class for almost an hour#and Iâm on the verge of finding them and crushing their head like a soda can#like even with the door closed itâs audible and Iâm on the verge of violating the Geneva convention Iâll be real
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u know that whole "theres a whole world out there we're unaware of" thing that usually gets applied to like, unheard of network tv shows, the zynternet, suburban family trends, etc? thats how i feel when i hear about like, in person events or whatever via some random reel, like showing some massive hyper specific event with like hundreds of people doing some activity or at some place w zero context or explanation, seemingly in america just like me, that i have never seen or heard of in my life. like where did this come from? was this always a thing? is this a thing that only popped up in the last 3 years like a lot of weird specific trends? im not judging im just confused đ
#like i just saw a reel of what seemed to be a rollerskate? dance battle? rave??? festival? with like. hundreds of atendees#and a specific term used to describe them that ive never seen or heard before#or there was some college party festival thing i saw vids of last yearish where everyone was wearing fringed pants and there were like 100's#of ppl dancing outside a gas station??????#but i do expect that w college sport culture somewhat#or when someone brings up a restaurant/club as if everyone had heard of it#idk if this stuff has always been a thing and social media just illuminated it more#or its just stuff u find out about as an adult and the whole time ive been an adult theres been a lot of bullshit going on#OR if its rly stuff that popped up post covid whrre ppl were trying to come up with events#like im pretty sure those massive interactive art events are a new thing#or the meow wolf stuff#selfie museums are also new but not post covid#but like idk ive heard of those things#its kinda like#yknow that video of all the cybergoths dancing under that bridge????#that was like an expected amount of people for that imo#its like theres anime convention level events happening for niche hobbies#i think in theory its cool im always just confused and apprehensive when ppl bring up stuff as if its a given#w absolutely zero preambe#*preamble#which isnt anyones fault except my own for having autistic childhood trauma based insecurities#this is me working out in real time why these things throw me for a loop#OR the very real knowledge that a lot of people are desperate to become influencers & grifters and sell u bullshit#and catering to a hyper specific market is one way to do that#anyway do u know what i mean or was this always a thing and these r just the ramblings of an insane person
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hey y'all. i'm pretty sure y'all have noticed i've been jumping around a bunch when it comes to interests and hyperfixations, while posting much less at the same time. mostly it's because i'm just waiting for smiling friends to come back from war and my brain is very understimulated so it's just grabbing onto anything (đ) but it's also because i'm currently getting through a pretty jam-packed final semester of college. once i get through these last several weeks of school, i will have a LOT more time to do stuff on here, as well as work on my upcoming webcomic oaksport (follow @the-oaksport-comic!). i really wanna do more on here but i'm just too understimulated and busy with school. i've been thinking of rewatching shows i used to be obsessed with like ducktales or regular show to get some more energy in me and on this blog, but for now it seems to be dreamworks taking up pretty significant room in my brain. sorry to anyone who followed me for smiling friends, my brain has been all over the place for this entire year due to my last main special interest (caddicarus) taking a backseat.
#mel rambles#i'm one of those people who constantly has to have a hyperfixation get fed for it to continue uninterrupted for years#onward lasted like 2 and a half years for me because of the sheer amount of awesome fan content + the bond with my friends in that fandom#during my first run with caddicarus there was so much content coming out all the time#and during my second there was constant convention trips and social media content to keep me stimulated between the months-long video waits#but when those came to a halt i had to find other things#i had lots and lots of fun with smiling friends but the fandom ended up overstimulating me lol#when season 3 comes out i might stick more to myself and my small group of friends
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January Unboxing /Shopping Haul
youtube
#youtube#unboxing video#shopping haul#online shopping#target haul#hello kitty#sanrio#cvs#after christmas#etsy finds#small business#fan art#anime convention
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Where to find me: Updates
https://karenjcarlisle.com/2024/11/13/where-to-find-me-updates/
With all the upheavals around the world, social media is changing, so I thought it was time to update where you can find me.
Connect with me on Social Media:
Connect with Karen via Tiktok, Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky and Mastodon.
Iâm most active on Tiktok and Facebook (for the moment). Iâve dabbled on Mastadon, but sometimes it gets a bit clunky. Iâve just signed up for Bluesky. So far, it seems a stress-free forum. Iâve found many other writers, creators, and existing friends there. So, it seems this may be the Twitter replacement Iâve been searching for. (Though I still have a Twitter account, I rarely post there. Itâs just too toxic, and I donât need that. Mostly, youâll find reposts from Patreon or my othe socials.)
Support me on:
You can also support me on PATREON or Ko-fi.
If you love supporting the arts, and indie authors, then you can buy me a cup of tea on Ko-fi. If you want more exclusive sneak peeks, and supporter only info and behind the scenes, support me on Patreon.
Book / Review sites:
Visit Karen at her at Goodreads or Storygraph (reviews welcome),
Take your pick. Both have book list and book challenge functions. Goodreads is owned by Amazon. Storygraph isnât.
Want monthly updates?
Sign up to my email list for her monthly newsletter Tea & Tidings HERE to get news on upcoming books, events, behind the scenes, tea of the month, and more (including occasional giveaways of latest projects). You can also get the exclusive eBook short story Portals and Portents (book 0.5 in The Aunt Enid Mysteries).
Forums/ Messaging apps:
You can also find her on Discord â username: karenj_katdb
If you prefer message board forums, I have a Discord channel. Check out the #keeping-count channel, where I share (not-so-daily) word count updates on various projects (in place of NaNoWriMo â find out more about why in this post). You can also check writing progress on my âWorks in Progressâ page at https://karenjcarlisle.com/works-in-progress/Â
Videos:
https://www.youtube.com/@Karen-J-Carlisle is mainly for my writer/author stuff (and various interests like D&D, steampunk, and tea). You can find past events and book trailers there.
https://www.youtube.com/@thepurplefiles-krakencreations concentrates on my art, maker diaries and videos (including book trailers, book covers, crochet, costumes etc).
Photos/Images:
Pinterest.
Lots of pictures. On pinterest you can find images covering both my writing, art, costume, and steampunk. Thereâs writing book mood boards, as well as inspirational pictures, and more images related to my books and writing.
Need to contact me?
Website: www.karenjcarlisle.com
information on how to contact Karen.
#behind the scenes#books#conventions#Events#ideas#links#list#news#newsletter#Patreon#processes#short story#social media#thinking#updates#video#where to find me#writing
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Not everyone likes my book, and I'm OK with that. There are many classic children's books some people just don't like because of their message or how they portray it, but I love them because they offer something a little different.
I made something straight from the heart and took a big chance on it. It caters to no one and breaks many conventions you find in children's books. I wanted adults to be able to enjoy the story as well, so it's not afraid to get a little sad. There were a few children's book bloggers I had emailed who wouldn't review it because of that reason. And there were Read Aloud YouTube channels who wouldn't make a video on it because they didn't like the ending.
But there were also many people who absolutely loved the book. They got what I was trying to do, so I know there is an audience for this sort of thing. The more secluded you feel you are from society the better the chance you'll like it. This isn't the case for everyone but just a trend I noticed. Reviews on Amazon have been overwhelming positive, and hey, my mom liked it too. And the book has sold almost a 100 copies in its first month.
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But then again, I also get these drive-by reviews from window shoppers. This is just the reality of trying to do something a bit different with a kid's book. People absolutely judge a book by it's cover.
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I know how to write things that are guaranteed to sell and make money, but this ain't one of them. Doing what is guaranteed to work gets boring after a couple of years. It's too safe. It's fulfilling work to make a product that people need but also empty at the same time.
This was a complete gamble. I have been publishing on Amazon for the last 8 years now, and I haven't felt this excited since I released my first book. And thinking back on it, that first book was also a bold gamble as well. And it sold very well. Maybe then, that's just the secret to success.
Anyways, the book is on Amazon. You can also find the full story and illustrations on YouTube for free as well. If you would like to support the book, a quick rating on Amazon or Goodreads is one of the best ways to do so.
#books#childrens books#reading#creativity#deer#furry#illustration#artists on tumblr#queer#lgbtqia#art#therian#transgender
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this twitter account is my only true friend during these fraught and trying times
#finding fob concert videos is harder than being in war#the fact that I have to check twitter for them is a crime more unforgivable than violating the geneva convention
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It's so funny that Palpatine is also a skilled lightsaber duelist and fighter, enough to take on 4 Jedi masters / war veterans at once and easily kill 3 of them (everyone except Mace Windu almost immediately gets wasted), and then to go on to beat Yoda too later. Like, it's funny to think about the logistics of it all. Who exactly has Palpatine been practicing with here? How often has he been hitting the gym in the past 15 or so years?
Up until that point in "Revenge of the Sith", it looks like Palpatine's main skill is manipulation. He doesn't really look like he's sunk a lot of points into melee combat. Supposedly, he trained Darth Maul, but Maul got wrecked by Obi-Wan Kenobi as a padawan and has been "dead" for over a decade by the time Palpatine is confronted by the Jedi and suddenly opens a can of whoop ass. Dooku is a skilled duelist, sure, but Dooku has been running the other side of the war, so he's not sneaking into Coruscant on a regular basis to be Palpatine's evil gym buddy.
Also, when is Palpatine finding the TIME to train that fiercely? He has a desk job! He has TWO desk jobs! He's the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and also secretly running both sides of the war, all to slowly build up his Galactic Empire. His schedule must be packed. His time management skills are the real legendary dark powers here. He has to regularly be going straight from meetings with Republic Senators and the Jedi Council into video calls with General Grievous and the Trade Federation. Where on his calendar is this man putting his evil workouts where he waves around a red lightsaber?
I really don't like the idea that Palpatine is just so formidable in the Force that he doesn't ever have to worry about spaceships falling from orbit or keeping in shape. He's definitely not a normal guy, but he is also just a guy, given that Darth Vader eventually throws him off a Death Star bridge to kill him (temporarily, if we're going by the sequel trilogy, which I... don't). I understand that at this point in time, Palpatine is possibly super-boosted by the Dark Side thanks to the sheer weight of misery he's inflicted on the galaxy thanks to the war, so he's feeling GREAT, strong and fast and ready to rumble, but I don't think pure power in the Force alone should necessarily translate to staying flexible despite your desk job and having refined sword skills?
So, I guess I have to assume that Palpatine has a collection of personal dueling droids somewhere that regularly get wrecked by a lightsaber or something? Is there a gym maintenance droid somewhere rebuilding these other droids and chugging happily along learning every week (it gets its memory wiped on a daily basis) that the Supreme Chancellor secretly likes to play with lightsabers like a Jedi LARPer? Not an uncommon hobby! There are fan conventions for that!
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April 28 - May 1, 2024 - the CW sniper is dead.
Supernatural trends following the passing of the CW sniper. Whilst no official confirmation was published regarding their death, Misha Collins made a statement regarding destiel and since he's still alive, we can conclude that the CW sniper is no more.
The Cross Roads 8 Supernatural convention is currently taking place [x]. As usual, things have been said. There was one statement however which caused the tag to trend and it was (unsurprisingly) by Misha Collins, in response to a question asked by our bravest soldier @sunglassesmish [x].
"If the CW wasn't so homophobic, Dean and Cas would've been balls deep for sure." [x] [x] [x]
Whilst this may not be the exact quote (I haven't been able to find a video yet), this was enough to cause a destiel revival. More things have happened, and people on Twitter are posting under #CR8 in case anyone's interested. Multiple Supernatural tags are trending there as well [x].
RIP the CW sniper, you will not be missed.
#i haven't seen misha say it himself and i can't find any videos from the conferences but based on what's happening across twitter and tumblr#it's quite safe to say that the quote is genuine. i'll update this post if i find any video sources#why is supernatural trending#apparently he also said 'i fucked you hard and raised you from perdition'? but i have very few sources on this one so can't be certain#spn#supernatural#misha collins#destiel#deancas
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There was lots of concern about AI and deepfakes spreading misinformation this election cycle, so let's check in on that!
A lot of right-wing accounts are trying to prove that Kamala Harris' crowds are fake - that all the photos of them are generated with AI. We'll get to that, but let's look at the most...amusing example first.
There's lots of people pointing at an image of a crowd that's obviously been generated with AI, due to extra arms and gibberish writing.
So obviously someone generated this image with AI. Who was it and why? Well, we can actually find the origin pretty easily. It was...
A right-wing satire account. Who put "unexcited Kamala Harris crowd" into a AI image generator to make a "wow, crowds are electric!" joke.
An image their own side generated as satire is now being spread by the right as something Harris/Walz created as proof they're doing the thing they're doing. Incredible. Just a masterclass
Now let's look at the dark stuff.
By and large, AI isn't being used for hoaxes. AI is being used as a excuse: people aren't being tricked by AI images, they're being tricked by accusations real images are AI.
So this hoax went around recently...
This image is old. It spread in 2017, it spread in 2020, and now it's spread in 2024. The Harris/Walz rally wasn't even in the Phoenix Convention Center, or in Phoenix. But it's now a core part of the "no one's attending their rallies!" campaign going on now
This may seem strange if you experience the news by non-conservative media, where you can't escape stories of Kamala Harris filling up massive stadiums & of Trump rallies full of empty seats. All evidence in reality points to Kamala Harris being extremely popular and to Trump's campaign faltering.
But in MAGA land, Kamala Harris' crowds were generated with AI.
Their claims: the crowd isn't in the reflection, and uh, the arms look weird. But also that there "aren't any other images".
But? There are? There was a livestream of that very plane landing (starting at 25)!
They're subjecting what they think is The Only Image of this rally in long Youtube videos and on Twitter and TikTok, and just...don't realize there's full, uncut, commentary-free video of it that was broadcast live. So why don't they realize that?
Well, I did a search for this rally on Fox News' website and guess what? They reported it exactly twice: once a interview with her while leaving that slammed her for "not taking press questions" enough, and a few clips of the Palestinian protestors at it, but not many, bc if you don't follow the far right they're trying to frame Kamala Harris as, like, a radical pro-Palestinian (or, as they say, "pro-Hamas") activist who wants to destroy Israel which, uhhhhhhhh
But another thread I found debunking this, by a former Trump-voting evangelical conservative turned critic of the same, gets at the heart of it
People who said AI and deepfakes would be used to mislead the right were missing how misinformation actually works. Fox News et al don't suppress information by confusing the audience with misinformation; they suppress information by never letting them see it in the first place. They know that they have a captive audience who doesn't watch non-right-wing news (unlike the left, who are constantly aware of what's going on over at Fox).
They can just never mention or show Kamala Harris' rallies, or do so only in close-up, and they can frame Trump to only show shots where a crowd has gathered & make it seem like that's the norm, and their audience just has no chance to find out the truth. They're so propagandized that they just accept that there are no other images of that Kamala Harris rally, because, well, they were told there weren't, and would the news personalities they trust really lie to them?
And if any stray bits of reality float into the bubble, well, it was just AI. You know, how they have AI these days? AI's most important role in all this isn't as a vector for misinformation, it's as a rhetorical device for claiming real images and video are misinformation. You don't have to make images full of people with weird hands if you can get people circling real people's hands in red and pointing at it to prove reality was made in a computer.
These people don't know how popular Kamala Harris is. They don't know she's polling eight points higher than Trump. They don't know Harris is leading in right-wing biased polls. They're being told she's hiring actors at rallies, that her crowd photos are generated by AI, that Trump rallies are popular and hers are desolate.
This only likely to increase as we near the election because, well, Trump '24 is a shitshow. His campaign started out less popular than '16 or even '20, he picked maybe the worst VP pick in history, and he hasn't made a single effective attack on Harris/Walz. They were banking on facing Biden, and then on a chaotic open convention, but instead everyone closed ranks around Harris, and she instantly became the most popular Democratic candidate since 2008. We are cruising towards Trump/Vance not only losing, but losing in the closest thing to a landslide that's possible in our current system.
They're already laying the groundwork for, in the likely case of defeat, playing the "she stole the election!" card. Last time it was ad-hoc, because Trump thought he'd win. This time, they're already making "all her rallies are fake, all of her supporters are AI, they've already rigged it against Trump" a key strategy, and, I have to assume, their primary strategy as it gets closer to election day and the polls get worse. They've always lived in a bubble, but now it's a bubble designed explicitly to cause another January 6th. By claiming real photos have weird hands, and must totally be AI
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I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.
...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli
(Pt 1 for description rant)
#diary#personal#i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call#cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions#and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun#idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations#but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays#like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate#idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown#yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont#i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too#i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting#and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?
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SoftDom!Suguru
Geto Finds Your Fanfic X Reader|Birthday One-Shot
the deets: uh, oh...girl, your boyfriend found your smut đ¶ w.c: 12.3k (look...it is what it is) tags: fem!reader, fanfic indulgence (reverse uno, reader is an ADDICTâSHOCKER), mention of smut which is so ironic, delulu reader has all her dreams come true with the dreamiest fucking boyfriend in the history of boyfriends, soft-dom power dynamic, clitoral and vaginal masturbation, spanking/impact, edging/orgasm denial, fingering, forced orgasm, mention of breath play, gagging and throat fucking, mention of wax play, rope/restraint play, overstimulation, use of vibrator, P in V, creampie, readerâs brain is scrambled as sheâs fucked into oblivion and âspaceâ (if you know you know), and most importantly, đđđCONSENT AND AFTERCARE IS SEXYYYđđđ angelâs note: i almost named this 50 Shades of Geto chat đ§đŸââïžâŠ|a SoftDom!Suguru inspo pic i came across while writing đ„Ž earworm đ: Freak in You|PartyNextDoor [Hoe|Jhene Aiko in video header]
Is this really the life I'm living?
Stifled moans threatening to spill over your puffy lips say yes.
That's less noticeable than the sharp, cool air kissing your aching nipples, though. Cute, little buttons that make your boyfriend's dick jump when he thinks about pinching them.
But neither compare to the coarse feel of the rope wrapped around your dainty wristsâcompeting for your attention and burning into your skin the more you grapple with it.Â
Remnants will be there for days. Intricate lines of art that mark your body and make your slutty little mind smile.
But only fear lives in your eyes looking into Suguru'sâhis face smug but stern.Â
A slight grin graces his lips as he raises his hand. âEyes on me.âÂ
And you hold your breath, knowing that itâll be 100 times worse if you look away, and wait for theâ
Holy fucking coW, this is not a drill this is nOT A DRILL.
You squealed watching the mail truck drive off from the post you'd been stalking for hoursâbarely containing yourself from tearing the package to shreds the moment it's in your hands after rushing back inside.
Weeks had gone by, WEEKS, waiting for the beauty so gracefully wrapped in a shimmery tulle. Delicately peeling it away, you practically creamed yourself the second you pulled it from its satin bag.
It was finally in your hands, your fingers tracing over the glossy cover and raised title, not believing you were finally witnessing it in all its glory. And God, that new book smell was like crack.
Isn't It Sweet?
You nodded, biting your lip, agreeing with one of your favorite authors of all time as you marveled at their latest limited-book release.
One of only 1000 copies.
You remember how shaky your hands were when you ordered it, having set 4 or 5 alarms to make sure you didn't miss out on the drop. But you probably should've won an award for the world's fastest order the way you secured the bag with the quickness. And after daydreaming about it for days, you wanted nothing more than to hug it into your chest like a newborn babe.
Anyone who knows you would agree and say you're an avid reader (as if your overflowing bookshelf isn't enough evidence.) Still, you would say you were maybe just slightly above averageâonly spending about 5 to 6 hours a day gluing your eyes to books and words. Fully immersing yourself in endless lives, worlds, and universes was nothing as long as the life was worth living. And you're no stranger to all kinds of genres.
The classics. Sci-Fy. Horror. Smut. Occasional non-fic and self-help because it pays to be well-rounded. Romance is often hit or miss, but it has its moments.
What?
Oh ya. That's right.
That said smut.
And oh baby, does it have its claws in you.
Especially when it comes to fanfic.
Are you the world's biggest nerd? Maybe not (that's a lie; you've cosplayed and been to a few conventionsâyou're too far in the trenches, beloved, and it's okay), but the second someone mentions anime, you almost break your neck to listen in. Waiting to see if your favs are mentioned.
With most of them, you come for the action, laughs, and often heartbreak. Your latest fav was a great example of all of the above and taking the anime world by storm. The storyline and PTSD you get from watching it are part of the reason why, but truth be told, it's mostly because of the real gems you get if you stay. Gracing the screen from the first episode to the last.
Drop-dead gorgeous fictional daddies.
Being ate up around the world for being too good to be true. And there are more than enough of them to build a harem all wrapped up in a cute, gory little bow.
And you're the baddest of the down bad.
But you're not alone.
Oh dear love, very, very far from it.
The simps are everywhere.Â
And you're the queen of Delulu Land, full of edits, cosplays, AUs, and art galore of anything you could ask for. And who could forget the stories?
Just the sheer amount of raw, raunchy, unsolicited smuttiness you get out of those is enough to make anyone sweat like a sinner in church. And you keep coming back for more.
It amazes you, the quality of content you get from those fandoms written by everyday people that even rival popular published works. But God, you can't even begin to imagine the sheer amount of batshit-crazy and unhinged energy it must take to think up and create such toe-curling filth.
Be there you were. Holding your second hardcopy fanfic that managed to make it off of the internet. About to shamelessly indulge your tastes once again.Â
It didn't help that the cover was positively delish. It had a dark and mysterious air that you instantly recognized and made you feel a little funny. The infamous style belonged to one of your fav fanfic artists, and you couldn't believe the collab of your dreams was real.
Your bath was about to be one for the books, and you wanted to wait until you were simmering in the tub to open it, but you just had to get a sneak peek of the author's note at least.
You laughed, expecting nothing less as you read the gaggorific but true words. They're so unserious.
But this bath was about to be.
Rosy scents filled the bathroom as you lit a few candles and drew your bath, sprinkling salts and tiny petals into the bubbles.
Anyone on the outside looking in would think you were preparing for a date, and in a way, they would be right, but this solo ritual was routine anytime you got your hands on a good, smutty story.
Sighing, you sank into the cloud of bubbles, your muscles instantly relaxing in the hot, steamy water as you exhaled your cares away and let your head fall back against the fluffy body pillow.
The water felt amazing, and you could spend forever soaking in paradise, but slowly, your face began to warm. Not just because of the sweltering bath curling waves of steam around your body but also because of the heady thoughts that floated through your brain when you remembered why you were there. And so you pulled the caddy into the tub, your heart fluttering as you set up your book and dove in.
Fruity notes coated your tongue as you sipped a new wine between scenes, warming not just your tummy but also your core. Desire steadily built as you flipped through the pages, eyes soaking up the words as the scenes played in your head like you actually had the privilege of being a voyeur of such vulgar moments.
Your hand absent-mindedly drew small circles on your neck the more you imagined and read about your fav fictional daddy. Hearing his voice, trailing your finger down your chest as you envisioned his sharp, sultry eyes. That face he makes when he's being a big, tough, serious guy and somehow your hand ended up between your thighs, fingers lightly tapping your gradually pulsing clit.
And fuck were you jealous.
Your fav warned you about being in her bondage and restraint era, but the OC was going through itâmanhandled and dealt with in a way that made your pussy throb until you couldn't take it anymore and slipped your fingers in to feed it.
Mewling, your fingers flexed inside you, feeling so warm inside your walls that ached so much you could feel a heartbeat when you dove in and outâmoaning and working to sync with the story's vulgar pleasures.
But no matter how romantic the atmosphere was or how turned on and desperate for release you were, your dainty fingers, as cute as they were, were simply no match for the level of smut between those pages, and soon you found yourself drunk and pouting. Failing to properly reach those deliciously sweet spots inside you and leaving you unsatisfied and craving the only thing you knew could actually give you what you needed.
Your boyfriend.
And you knew if the day ever came when he did even a smidge of the things you'd seen in that book, you'd absolutely fall apart in his hands while blubbering âthank youâ.
If only you weren't too chickenshit to just open your mouth and ask your angel of a boyfriend for it.
Suguru is such an, oh Godâ(insert animalistic noises)âyou could eat that man for DAYS.
But truth be told, you weren't the usually overly confident bad bitch that made boys fall to their knees with Suguru. In fact, when you first saw him around, you were actually very intimidated.
Right off the bat, everything about him was different, way different.
His casual but cunty style screamed curated but careless when he walked around looking like he was fresh out of a Japanese street-style magazine. Often dressed in dark, baggy clothing that added to his mellow, mysterious auraâonly to quietly flex on niggas by adding minimalistic but expensive layers of jewelry and accessories.
But what really made you weak the first time you saw them are the crown jewels that tie his look togetherâhis piercings. The one in his eyebrow made it look sharper when he raised it, and whenever he tucked a strand of hair, you'd notice his cuff earrings fitting snugly on his cartilage that perfectly complimented his gauges. Andâfuckâyou could go on and on for days about how you constantly had to resist the urge to smash your lips onto his just to feel his snakebites.
You were doomed.
There he was, this tasty but nonchalant, cool guy. Reserved. Exclusive. And picky.Â
Never ever ever in a million years did you think you could bag a walking piece of art like that.Â
Donât get it twisted; you are THEE shit and always the prize, but this time, it was less about looks and more about personality. And compared to Suguru? You were like a baby Powderpuff, sweet and bubbly, while he was a panther: sly, magnetic, and quick to ghost anyone who tried to get too close.Â
Hot and impossibly hard to get.Â
No wonder everyone wanted him.
Even without the competition, you were sure he probably had a thing for someone more his vibe, like big titty goth bitches, and you wouldn't blame him. Because sugar and spice just do not mix.
But fate had a funny way of humoring you, and one day you were unexpectedly thrown into each other's lives in a way that couldn't have been anything but the stars aligning.
The Panther and the Powderpuff.
Who knew you two would be a recipe for...perfection? And to your surprise, it was Suguru who latched on first, finding you simply addicting.
You were this vibrant, unapologetic good girl, sugary sweet and full of life, while he was this introverted yet magnetic loner, secretly craving someone to satisfy his sweet tooth.
Everyone else had been mere distractions, superficial, and a waste of his time.
But when the universe suddenly dropped you right into his lap, everything he thought he knew about loving someone changed.
The chemistry was undeniable and Suguru was selfish, wasting no time taking you off the market after only a few dates because the thought of you with anyone else made his stomach twist. But honestly, he had you hooked from, "Hello, my name is...", and ever since, you still find yourself unbelieving your luckâand the way he treats you.
From the unconditional princess treatment to every small or large sentiment you could wish for, Suguru does it all without hesitation. Knowing you deserve nothing less and leaving no room for anyone else to even try to compete. Often making you blush like a little schoolgirl who doesn't know what to do with herself because of his cool candor but loud love. Leaving you gagged and absolutely feral for him.
But it was simple for Suguru. He never questioned his instinct or need to have you. He just knew what he wanted, what he needed.Â
You.Â
You stir something deep in him, and heâs simply a slave to that insatiable urge to care for you in ways only he can.
Your sweet, raven-hair simpâalways waiting and ready for you to pepper his blissful face with kisses every time you love on each other. Leaving you with no doubts that heâs yours and youâre his.
And he constantly reminds you that he can and will match your freak as his hands never seem to be able to stay off of you just as much as you think about sinking your claws into him. Â
You practically jumped at any opportunity to have your way and slut out that man in all his panty-dropping gloryâwhen he lets youâbut you firmly drew the line at vanilla.
In a perfect world, you could live freely as the truly unhinged and slutty succubus you were and let this man dictate your every waking moment, body, and soul however he pleasedâjust like many of the books you obsess over.Â
But you couldnât risk scaring off your dream man with your Freak-a-leek fantasies.Â
You had to be quiet with it.Â
There was no way Suguru would be into that stuff.
Besides, itâs not like you were missing much.Â
Suguru and Satisfaction go hand-in-hand, and your oh-so-thoughtful boyfriend is damn-near dedicated to making sure you spend your nights repeatedly moaning his name. Whether itâs by slurping you up with his tongue just for a taste or slow-stroking your insides until you soak the sheets before fighting over who's sleeping in it. Naturally reading your body with ease and filling you to the brim with butterflies until you claw his back then milk him dry.Â
But every now and then, you couldnât help but wonderâŠwhat would happen if one day he just happened to tap into that subtle but smug big dick energy and took the reins?
Alas, youâd rather sneak away every blue moon and submerge in the depths of smut than confess. Settled and content with getting your fix when you could, but that night, you found yourself growing more frustrated the longer you tried.
No matter how hard you concretrated, no matter how detailed and lewd the images and sounds were in your head, you were hell-bent on shooting stars into your eyes with every trick you knew in the book yet failing to bring yourself rapture with such feeble fingers.Â
Eventually, with a final but not yet defeated groan, you decided to stop toying with yourself and return to Earth. Slightly disappointed but relishing in the fact that you always had access to the ultimate trump card, no matter how your smutty escapades went. You might not get to play 9 and œ Weeks with your boyfriend, but he always guaranteed to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you and give you everything you need anytime you get all dolled up for him.
Your hand glided down your silky thighs, feeling smooth like butter as you caressed them, and you nodded. Mhmm, you were gonna get tore up tonight.
After finishing your bath, you dressed your body in your favorite lotion and serum combo before slipping into the silky lingerie Suguru randomly bought you a few weeks ago. He had been doing that more lately, coming home with all kinds of catered gifts and this one was by far one of your favorites and fit so perfectly. Now, all that was left to do was wait for him to get home and peel it off.
Heâd been out most of the afternoon hanging with the guys while you did a few chores and stalked your mailbox. Suguru said it was supposed to be chill, but with the sun setting soon and knowing that Satoru was invited and without a doubt responsible for why Suguru was still not home, nine times out of ten, they ended up playing basketball.Â
Your boyfriend is already pretty active, but anytime Satoru comes around, he gets turned up times ten and things get real competitive, real fast. Almost always against Suguâs will, but heâd rather entertain Toru to make him shut up and eat his words than back down. And like a good girlfriend who knows all of her boyfriendâs dumb little weaknesses, you were exactly right. Â
You missed the sound of his umbrella as he came through the front door, smoothing back his hair from the rain you didnât hear while in the bath.
âIâm home, Love,â he calls out, and his gentle yet sultry voice paired with your pet name always makes you blush.
His natural scent was the first thing to hit your nose when he entered the bedroom, mingling with the wine steadily warming your body. Expecting you to nearly tackle him with a hug as you usually do after hours of being apart, he braced himself, but when he found you poised on the bed, relaxed and waiting for him, his mouth dropped, his heart once again racing even though he was sure he burned through his adrenaline playing basketball.Â
You looked downright delectable.
âHi, baby,â you laughed, smiling at his expression as you crawled towards him. The silky fabric draped in soft folds over your body, shifting and riding up just enough to reveal tantalizing glimpses of skin as you movedâclinging to your curves like a second skin. Everywhere he wanted his hands to be.Â
Imagining you in it when he picked it out was one thing, but seeing you in it, right in front of him, well fuckâyou looked so perfect now, heâd probably die seeing it around your ankles later. Â
He drew a breath, unable to believe his luck or imagine a better view than the one of looking up at him with doe eyes while on your hands and knees. Just for him.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, the soft blend of rose and vanilla flooding his senses as you pulled your body close before realizing he was soaking wet.
âAhh! Babe!â You jumped back. âYouâre wet.â But his warm hands had already settled on your waist, firmly holding you in place. He smirked and stole a quick peck, and the familiar tease of his lips soon made you forget all about how cold and drenched he was as you melted into his touch, his lips making you more and more needy every time they met yours.Â
He smiled against your lips, noticing you were more excitable than usual as you deepened the kiss, your heartbeat thudding against his chest as you pressed closer.
âYouâre going to *peck* ruin your lingerie, Pretty,â he teased. But you clearly didnât care, and he softly chuckled, having to reel it in for the both of you as he gently pulled away. âLet me hop in the shower first, ya?â
But when he looked into your puppy-dog eyes as you knelt before him, the thought of walking away felt nearly impossible. You wore that little frown and plea in your eyes that silently begged him not to leave, and any other time, heâd give right in. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, sending warm tingles to your tummy and making it just a bit easier for both of you. With your patience recharged, you perked up and switched gears, asking about his day as he settled in.
He casually shrugged, saying everything was cool. Yu called him, Toru, and Kento over to try out the latest 2K game, and though Toru was always down to hang, he spent the entire time groaning because, surprise, surprise, he was awfully bad at itâno matter which version he played. After losing one too many 1v1s to Suguru and the others, he let his butt-hurt ego get the best of him and suggested they ditch the âbaby gameâ and play some real basketball.
Suguru knew it was just a cop-out for Toru sucking, but he also knew Toru wouldnât stop whining until he got a chance to redeem himself. At least the day was nice enough for Suguru to humor himâuntil their Opp, Toji, showed up trying to start shit and ruin a good time as per usual. Lucky for him, the rain came in out of nowhere and cleared everyone out just before the gang could pop off, and blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff.Â
Suguru sounds so lovely when he talks, but you were only half-listening, completely mesmerized as he pulled his sopping, wet shirt over his head and revealed his toned body and tats.
No one would ever guess that his chest and sides of his torso were inked unless he showed you. The intricate dragon tattoo weaved across his shoulders and down the full sleeve of his arms, but that was the only evidence that heâd taken a needle to his skin. Itâs like a special little surprise reserved only for those he wants to see, and you never get tired of drooling over itâor him, watching him shyly smile as he noticed your gaze and gave you a playful wink before disappearing into the bathroom.
You sank into the bed with a pout but managed to distract yourself as he showered. Suguru loves a long, hot one, and he definitely took his sweet time that night. You figured he deserved it after such a hectic evening and told yourself that the wait to quell your fire was just a little bit longer.Â
But your impatience would cost you, as you failed to notice that in your haste to get ready for Pound Town, youâd forgotten to do something very important.Â
Suguru came out whistling, a cloud of steam pouring into the bedroom as he stepped through, a towel wrapped low on his hips. His long, slightly towel-dried hair clung to his face in cute, messy stands, and he shot you a soft, knowing smile as he crossed the room. You were so adorable, waiting on him like a pup, shamelessly following his every movement with your gaze.
He laughed, âYou look comfy.â
âIâve been waiting for you,â you pouted. âYou were in there forever.â
Suguru grinned, reaching for the towel draped around his neck. âYeah? I guess I got a bit distracted.â He moved toward the dresser, lazily pulling it open. âDid you have a good day?âÂ
Suppressing the urge to be frank, you nodded. If only he knew. âIt was okay. Nothing special.â
âOh, real?â He raised an eyebrow, glancing over his shoulder. âYouâre in such a good mood, though. Didnât get into anything exciting?â
Just failed to get off to one of the smuttiest fics ever written.Â
âNope,â you quickly replied, chewing on your bottom lip. As thoughtful as it was for Suguru to be a loving boyfriend and ask you about your day, you wished heâd chat less and fuck your brains out more. Fuck the clothes, fuck the pleasantries. And it was painfully obvious by the way his sharp, purple eyes took in your antsy body.
Pulling out some clothes, his lips curved into a smile. âYou seem a littleâŠeager tonight. Did my girl miss me?â But he didnât really need to ask. He knew that you were practically in heat and only added flames to the fire by casually throwing on his favorite PJs that hung loosely around his v-section and slipping on a black wife-beater that hugged his torso(I know, that's a CRAZY name for an article of clothing).
Your pussy clenchedâYes God, YESYES STOP THE TORTURE!âsilently screaming for him to just stop teasing and give you what you wanted before you exploded, but all you could manage was a whimper and frantic nod, knowing you were just seconds away from showing him exactly how much you did.
Suguruâs smile deepened watching you struggle, amusement dancing in his eyes as he sauntered towards you. âHow âbout we burn off some of that energy then, hmm?â His weight sank into the mattress as he crawled onto the bed, closing the space between you and softly pecking your lips with every word. âWith. A. Game.â
But the way heat flared in your chest as you helplessly fell under his kiss, you didnât know if you could handle whatever his mischievous little mind was thinking. Still, you felt your body betray you, naturally unable to resist him and growing curiousâno, needingâto do just about anything he asked if it meant he would continue kissing butterflies into you.Â
With heavy-lidded eyes, you asked what game, growing breathy as you imagined every raunchy coupleâs game you could think of. But your anticipation quickly turned to confusion when you felt him pull something from behind his back.
âLetâs read something new tonight,â he grinned. And you damn near went into cardiac arrest.Â
With your mind solely focused on getting your hands on your boyfriend, you had completely forgotten about your book, leaving it in the bathroom to be discovered by Suguru the moment he stepped inside.Â
And, oh baby, was it insightful.
You gaped, too stunned to speak as he pulled you toward the end of the bed. He settled on the bench and patted his lap, inviting you to sit, but you were frozen in place, absolutely mortified and refusing to believe this was real life.
You were caught, your mind filling with millions of thoughts all wondering how the hell your own carelessness after months of being âcarefulâ ended up outing you, and it took him firmly calling you again before you finally found the courage to move, your brows furrowing as reality hit you.Â
Now your boyfriend definitely knew how much of a menace you wereâone of those Godforsaken BOOKTOK GIRLIES, of all thingsâand shouldâve been running for the hills.
But he only looked at you lovingly, gently guiding you into his lap and making sure you were comfortable before his arms settled around your waist. He cleared his throat and held the book in front of you. âIâll start,â and he began where you left offâon one of the smuttiest scenes in the story.Â
âTaichi had seen what your mouth could do.â Oh no. âNever failing to command everyoneâs attention before you cleared a room with just your words. Now, as his thumb softly traced over those same desirable lips that held so much power, his cock jumped at the idea of them wrapped around it.âÂ
Holy shit.Â
Reading it was one thing, but being forced to hear from the last person youâd expect in the most naturally seductive voice imaginable was absolutely killing you in more ways than one. Especially when he was leaning right into your ear, his chin softly resting on your shoulder as if he were reading you a lullaby.Â
Heat flooded your face, but Suguruâs voice was steady and calmâcompletely unbothered as if he werenât reading about your smuttiest innermost fantasies and making your embarrassment skyrocket. You felt so vulnerable and exposed and dirty and like you couldnât get enough air and fuckâyou didnât know what Suguru was trying to prove or if this was his wicked way of trying to embarrass you before breaking up with you, but the torture was too much, and you had to get out of there.
Panicking, you tried to get up, but no-noâhe wasnât about to let you slip away from storytime that easily, and his arm snaked around your waist and secured you against him with a gentle but unyielding grip. His legs followed suit, quickly wrapping around yours and locking you in place, and you gasped in disbelief when your thighs effortlessly parted and exposed your pretty, clothed pussy.
Helpless whines escaped you, and he tsked, smiling at your sudden innocence. Like you couldnât believe this was really happening. Like you couldnât believe that the same filth you craved, obsessed, and dreamt over was now spilling from your boyfriendâs pretty mouth, sounding like a limited-edition audiobook Fanfic girlies could only dream of. And if you thought there was no possible way to make the situation worse than it already was, Suguru decided to take things up a notch and bring the book to life.
His lips lightly brushed your shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin as he nuzzled your neck and inhaled your scent. Pressing kisses to the back of your neck, he stole a breath from your lungs when he nipped your ear. Perfectly mimicking the storyâs peak and leaving you completely at his mercy as the lines between fantasy and reality blurred.
His hand around your waist trailed across your stomach with a deliberate slowness, traveling down until he grasped your inner thighs, knowing this was one of your most sensitive spots and drawing possessive lines that made your clit begin to tingle and swell through your panties.
Inching closer and closer, the sly smile in his voice grew, and your breath grew shallower until it hitched, sparks igniting when he ghosted over your clit. Your thighs trembled, but his voice remained smooth and unwavering.
Suguru noticed a twisted sense of satisfaction growing within as he felt you squirm, simultaneously struggling to close your legs even though you throbbed like crazy for more. You were caught between sheer embarrassment and undeniable arousal. Not knowing which to give in to.
He pressed his cheek to yours. âYouâre so cute when you blush,â he murmured, becoming distracted by your reactions as he poured out endless praiseâso flustered, so sickenly distraught and overwhelmed, but it only made him smile.
You always get so shy when he compliments you. His usually confident girl easily coming undone with only a few soft words and a glint in his eyes. And he loved itâthe way you always tried to pretend you werenât seconds away from completely unraveling when he flirted.
He hummed thoughtfully, wondering how long you could keep it up this time. And what it would take for you to fold.
âFinish up for me, pretty girl,â he decided, and handing you the book, his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your panties and brushed your soaking folds.
You stiffened, the sudden warmth snatching your breath and making it impossible to get a single sentence or objection out.Â
âCâmon baby,â he kissed your shoulder, fingers stilling right on your clit. âYou have such a pretty voice.âÂ
The fucking Devil.
You let out a shaky moan, not knowing whether you hated or still loved him in that moment, but either way, you sure as hell werenât going to let him see you crack, and you drew a breath.
Clearing your throat, you swallowed thicky and mustered up the steadiest voice you could to prove you wouldnât just be a victim of this wicked game of his. And you were doing so well, for a sentence or two. Until his slick fingers started to call your bluff and gradually began to draw slow, precise circles right on your swollen bud.Â
And God help you, you couldn't stop the stutter.
âSm-smeared mas-sc-scara ran hah down y-your f-face.â You paused and closed your eyes, wetting your lips before continuing. âYouâd p-pay for your ah used andâŠand b-br-bruised t-throat in the morning bUT,â you yelped when he squeezed your waist. âIt-it was a small price to p-pay to taste a c-cock sss-so d-delish.âÂ
Suguru chuckled lightly, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. But it wasnât enough.Â
He needed to see you completely fall apart.Â
His free hand glided upward and fondled your breast, his thumb taunting and brushing over your nipple. You instinctively arched into his touch, a series of soft whimpers escaping your lips as he rolled them between his fingers until they were sensitive and hard.Â
Your body couldn't decide which overwhelming sensation to focus onâthe weight of his fingers just sitting and taunting your clit or the jolts of pleasure running to your core with each pinch of your nipple. Both sent messy moans tumbling out of your mouth.Â
He grinned against your shoulder. âYouâre so responsive tonight,â he said, adding to the heady mix of lust and frustration. Building you up and bringing you down in a vicious cycle as every time you crept closer and closer to losing it, he was quick to slow and remind you to keep going.
But your thighs kept quaking and your breath kept hitching and you could only squirm so much trying to rock into his touch and steal Heaven, but his fingers were light and easily kept you right on the edge. Touching only your clit and leaving you distraught as your poor, neglected walls began to ache.Â
But your desperation was too loud to ignore, and knowing you wouldnât give up, he smirkedâlike boyfriend, like girlfriendâand he nipped your ear, pulling back the hood of your clit before he strummed his fingers over it. Fast. âGo for it,â Suguru whispered.Â
And fuck, it took all of 2 seconds for your legs to become a vibrating mess and made him wrap his tighter, your breath going light as you rose up on your toes.Â
Whimpering.Â
Heart racing.
Eyes drawing closed as you mentally sang his praises for allowing you to finally cum. Walking you to the line of release and rapture with every flick of your hot clit and every breath on your skin right up until he stopped.
You let out a defeated scoff.
You werenât getting off that easy. Â
He pulled the long-forgotten book from your hands, and you yelped, suddenly being lifted and bent over his knee. He gave you a second to adjust, then secured you with an arm around your waist, rolling up the hem of your dress before his heavy palm settled on your ass, fingers languidly massaging your cheeks.
You felt so plush as he caressed your skin, gripping you lovingly between his fingers before he delivered a heavy slap.
âWhyâd you keep this from me?â
A shriek died in your throat, a million things instantly flying through your head. Shock from this stranger you called a boyfriend, how you ended up here, how no one couldâve ever convinced you that this situation only found in books and on the internet would actually happen to you.Â
Endless things to think about but nothing to say.
âOh, weâre being shy now?â Any other time, you would spend hours yapping Suguruâs ears off about one thing or another and heâd dote on every word. But now they were escaping you.Â
*SLAP!*
And he gripped your cheek to soothe the sting, fingers running over the raised marks the rings he never takes off left on your skin.
He hummed, eyeing the soaked patch on your panties, biting his lip seeing youâd gotten even wetter since he bent you over his knee.
His fingers couldnât resist gently dragging over your clothed folds, just light enough that it felt like a ghost and made you shudder. You pushed back, trying to chase it, your mind borderline broken and desperate to quench your insatiable thirst, but found it impossible to move.Â
âLetâs try this again.â And he delivered a slap even harsher than the last, making you squirm under his tight grip.Â
Obviously, you hadnât learned your lesson from earlier, and when you tried to get away, Suguru swiftly pinned your arms behind your back and didnât skip a beat, landing another series of slaps on the same spot since you wanted to be so damn difficult.Â
You knew you couldnât escape but neither would your words, silent screams building up as you just had to lie there and take it. Emotional turmoil churned within, leaving you questioning everything you thought you knew about Suguru who was promptly lighting your ass up. Bringing to life each hot sting that youâve fantasized about in stories, on TV, and in the dirty thoughts of your boyfriend maybe one day warming up to the ideaâbut not like this. This was so sudden. Too much. So overwhelming to the point that nothing came out of you but feeble whines and stuttering breaths until you were on the verge of tears when âIâm sorry!â finally slipped from your defeated lips.
Suguru froze.Â
His heart thumped.Â
And in the span of a few seconds, Suguru learned a few things about himself.Â
1. He hadnât expected himself to be able to break you so quickly. Youâre as tough as he is, hell, even tougher sometimes, and only admit defeat when you absolutely cannot fight anymore.Â
2. He hadnât expected to fall head over heels in love with the sound of your cries and heavy breaths as you tried to gather yourself.Â
Knowing he was the cause and this was the effect of you being worn out and surrendering made his dick thump against your stomach.Â
He rubbed slow, soothing circles on your flushed cheeks.
âItâs ok baby, itâs ok,â he shushed, and you felt so pitiful yet turned on that you could cry. But as much as he wanted to relish in your punishment for keeping secrets, he also needed to reveal one of his own. âBecause Iâve known for a while.â
âYou wHAT?â Your voice cracked. If you could look him in the eyes, you would just so he could see how utterly flabbergasted you were because there was no freaking way. âHow??â
âCâmon babe,â he snickered, âYou watch DevilBoy Games, a lot, and Toru told me how you DBG girls are, Iâve seen you drool over that crazy guy with bags under his eyes.â
âHeâs not crazy,â you huffed, âJust misunderstood.â
He laughed, lightly squeezing your thigh. âHe kinda looks like me.âÂ
âGet over yourself.â And youâd cross your arms if he werenât still holding them.
He tsked. âAre you really surprised, love?â he asked, smirking before completely reading you, mentioning that there was no way you thought he wouldnât notice the nights when you would stay up late, blushing at your phone.Â
Never once wondering if you were talking to some other guy or anyone else, but putting two and two together pretty early on when you said you were having reading time on your favorite social platform known for itsâŠcontent. Scrolling the site for hours just to soak up pure filth.Â
As secretive as you tried to seem about it, the obsession never stopped you from being bold enough to do it in bed.
Suguru pouted. âSo, you donât like me enough or what?â he asked, his tone teasing yet laced with genuine curiosity. He often wondered why you didnât just say anythingâhow you could be so close to him and dive into your fantasies but not act on them.Â
Your face instantly heated. âItâs notâŠitâs not like that at all!â you stammered, struggling to find the right words. âI justâitâs different, okay?â
He cocked his head. "Different how?"
âI donât know IâŠâI honestly didnât think youâd be into that stuff,â you admitted, feeling more vulnerable than ever and even a little guilty. You deflated. âI thought youâd think I was weird.â
"My baby? Weird?â He chuckled softly, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin. "That canât be it.â And he leaned close. âOr maybe you just thought I couldn't handle it," and his eyes gleamed.
Your stomach dropped, eyes going wide as you were once again left shocked and speechless. But Suguru let go of your arms, satisfied enough with your confession and ready to play now, for real.
Your pussy practically swallowed your drenched panties that clung to you as he pulled them to the side, the cool air kissing your folds before you felt his warm fingers swirl over your glistening vulva.
He smiledâyou were so sensitiveâbucking at the languid strokes as he gathered your slick. Heâs always been gifted with his fingers and quick to make you fall apart from the slightest touch.
He bit his lip, unable to resist lightly dipping his fingertips in just to bring them to his mouth and give you a taste.
âSo fucking good.â He could play with you forever. Licking his lips, he parted yours, transfixed on your walls that clenched around nothing. Desperate to take his fingers that teased desperate whines out of you.Â
âYou gonna keep any more secrets from me, baby?âÂ
You shook your head, desperate to do or say whatever, which Suguru knew, but he needed you to mean it.Â
Heâd been edging you for almost half an hour now and his own dick was just as strained and blue-balled as your pussy, but he could and would hold out as long as he had to to make sure youâd never feel ashamed enough to hide any parts of you ever again. He just needed to hear the words, and he dipped just the tip of his finger inside you. âSay it.âÂ
âI promise, Sugu, never again,â you pleaded, your voice shaking. "Iâll never keep anything from you again, just please, Iââ you almost choked. "I need you so badly.â
The words spilled out you, sounding so pretty when you begged. And when he finally believed you, your mouth fell open, but nothing came outâa breath catching in your throat and eyes fluttering at that familiar stretch as he slowly pushed in. Walls finally sucking in the fingers theyâd been so hungry for.
You couldâve came right then.Â
âFuck,â he swore under his breath. You felt like home.Â
Your spongey walls squished and pulsed around him like a heartbeat, his fingers sinking in slow until you drew a sharp breath, your leg twitching.
Right there, he smiled, almost instantly finding that gushy spot of yours that makes you see white.Â
He whistledâthis mouth-watering position not only gave him an immaculate view of your ass he wanted to sink his teeth into but also let his peace fingers perfectly angle and beckon your gspot.Â
His other hand slowly spread you wide, and he cooed, marveling at how easy he slid in and out, his fingers hooking with each dip as he took advantage of the easy access and sent sparks to your toes.
Your teeth tugged at your lip, brows drawing together. He was pushing so sinfully into you, his fingers flowing like waves with the full intent to draw your orgasm out of you as heâd done millions of times before. Always leaving you breathless, heady, and unbelieving how natural it was for him to bring you to absolute shambles.
His pace was agonizingly slow, plunging in and out with a deliberate rhythm that had you trembling and your lip sore from biting and stifling your pathetic moans. His dick painfully throbbed against your stomach, the heat of it branding your skin with each ragged breath you took trying to contain yourself.
After keeping you on the edge for so long without mercy, he was about to send you plummeting into the deep end, his own restraint slipping with every passing second as his pace gradually increased, your slick beginning to pool around his fingers when you felt your orgasm coming on.Â
Your muscles tightened around him as he pushed you towards your peak, the sound of his fingers fucking into you rivaling macaroni but had to battle your fat mouth spilling out moans like a starving slut.Â
âSsh ssh ssh.â His hand slipped over your mouth. âI wanna hear her, she sounds so pretty.â And without restraint, the squelches of your pussy fucked the air, your drool slipping through his fingers and dripping down the side of your mouth. And just as you felt time slowing, he quickly swapped fingers, his middle and ring fingers angling down and furiously hitting that blinding spot that sent your eyes rolling.
Forgetting how to breathe, your cherry-O raced around the corner, aiming to crash right into you. Slowly, you began to arch your back into his hand, core tightening. And when you drew a deep breath, eyes screwing shut as you held it, his voice was deep and low to reassure you. âItâs okay baby, let it out.â And he racked his fingers until the pressure of your orgasm burst open.
"ohoHfuckfuCKFUCK SUGUSUGUSUGUOHMYGODIMCUMMING!" You clutched his calf and toppled over, your fluids spilling around his fingers and down your thighs, making a complete mess on his pants.
âGooood girl, just like that,â he said almost desperately, biting down on his lip to stifle his own moans, but his fingers didnât slow down, jiggling into you until you were writhing and begging for relief. He just had to make sure he got it all out, his silky fingers swimming deep into your sopping and noisy pussy until he wrung out all your shudders then slowed until your breaths somewhat returned to normal. Â
You came down, releasing your grip on him, your calves sore and aching from being on your toes.
Suguru smirked and licked his fingers clean, impressed by the sight of you lifelessly hanging over his legs: pathetic, spent, and cute.
After a moment of just holding you, he leaned down, pressing a kiss on your slightly reddened cheek before giving you an unexpected but quick lick of your pussy that made you twitch.
Yup, good and sensitive, just like he liked it.
Gently rubbing your back, he hummed. âIs my little slut satisfied?â
âSuguru!â Un uhânow he was calling you names?? You barely managed to open your eyes, still in a daze as you tried to look at him.
âWhat?â he shrugged. âJust making sureâŠthe author said you wouldnât be,â he cocked a brow with a playful smile. â...Right?â
âŠthe godforsaken authorâs note.Â
âFor all my sluts whoâd rather be fucked by fictional men than real ones.â
You ran your limp noodle of a hand over your face and groaned. Just when you thought the night couldnât get any more humiliating, your fave author doubled back and helped you stumble into more trouble.
But Suguru wasnât offended, not even a little bit. If anything, he looked amused, a slight smirk gracing his lips with a flicker of something else in his eyes.Â
Heâd been waiting for an opportunity like this and bided his time. Now, every little secret and hidden desire you thought youâd keep forever buried in those books was out in the open and his for the takingâand he was ready to tear them apart.
âSuguru, IââÂ
âItâs ok,â he shushed, his thumb brushing your bottom lip as he tenderly cupped your face. But the hairs on the back of your neck stood up when you saw that sly grin spread across his face before he said, âWeâll see about that.â
Things were a bitâŠdifferent..after that night.Â
It wasnât something either of you discussed outright, but there was definitely a shiftâan unspoken understanding that lingered in the air between you.
At first, it was like you were meeting for the first time all over again, and you slipped back into that shy, uncertain girl you were when Suguru first came into your life. Every knowing look he gave you, every slight touch, had you blushing, anticipating. As if you, once again, had no idea how to handle himâor how he would handle you.Â
He was slowly unveiling the quiet power you never knew or expected him to possess. And he was making sure you wouldnât dismiss it again.
Now, it was you who hesitated before speaking, nervously fiddling with your fingers any time he asked you something even slightly suggestive before your eyes would dart away in embarrassmentânot knowing that Suguru was absolutely loving this budding dynamic.Â
He would tease but never pushed too hard because he was patient. Always patient and watching with that soft, amused smile anytime you fumbled for words or tried to play off how flustered you were. Gradually coming to terms with the fact that your boyfriendâthe same one who always gave you a gentle look and treated you like you were more than preciousâwas more than willing to cater to and control you until you creamed and cried.Â
But honestly, not much had changed for Suguru. He still carried that same calm, subtle soft-dom energy that had always drawn you inânow there was just a label for it.
But there was a subtle shift in the way he handled you, like a quiet reminder that he knew you nowâall of you. And he made one thing clear and made sure you understood itâclosed mouths donât get fedâand it was a lesson you had to learn quickly, especially after you promised not to keep any more secrets. And whenever youâd shy away or fall into your usual silence, Suguru would tilt your chin and hold your gaze with those piercing, violet eyes. âUse your words, Pretty,â heâd say, and your cheeks would burn with embarrassment, but youâd still push through because you knew he was right.Â
So you stayed true to your word and began looking for all the ways you could experiment and get what you wantedâŠin the only way a little gremlin like you couldâŠby getting him riled up. And for a minute, he would just take it on the chin. But then he discovered breath play.Â
You were really getting on his nerves one day. Â
But you felt like you would actually die if he left you to hang with the boys when something in you was practically begging you to crawl into his skin. He was about to leave out wearing your favorite hoodie of his too, the one that's slightly cropped and hangs just above his midriff, and you sulked because you knew that any thirsty bitch in the vicinity would try to be on him like white on rice even when Suguru never paid them any mind.Â
Besides, he had already fucked you silly that morning and had been pampering you with kisses all afternoon, so he didnât understand why you were being so clingy.Â
But you were craving something else. A bit of something to eat.
And instead of just telling him that you wanted his dick down your throat and past your tonsils, you decided to block the front door, cross-armed, scowling, and staring at the appetizing outline on his basketball shorts. Jealous that they got to hold his heavy balls all day instead of you.
His fingers snapped, âBabe,â the sound pulling you out of your silent tantrum and making you look at him with wanting eyes. âWhatâs up with you?â he asked, his tone a mix of amusement and exasperation.Â
But you just couldn't bring yourself to say it, so you deepened your silent pout until he pinched his nose and sighed.
âThen move,â he started, stepping closer, but you shook your head and widened your stance like a toddler.
A smirk played on his lips as he loomed over you, taking in your pettiness before his hand thudded next to your head.
You jumped, but your defiance didnât waver, your eyes lifting to meet his. His smug expression only deepened as he shifted, the heat of his coveted dick pressing against your thigh in a way that made your breath hitch. Â
âMove,â he repeated, but you just pressed your lips tighter, your eyes challenging him.Â
His other hand slid up, fingers gently curling around your neck and thumb brushing over your pulse. "We doing this again?" he asked, low and laced with threat.
What could you say? Old habits die hard.Â
But he knew what you wanted. The way you thickly swallowed and wet your lips, eyes darting to the growing tent between you, spoke volumes even when you wouldnât.
âFine,â he said, and before you knew it, your knees were hitting the ground, his hand settling on your head and making you slink to the floor. He tilted your chin. âOpen that pretty mouth since you donât want to use it.â
And at his gruff command, your tongue lolled out, unapologetically.
He tsked, tucking his lip under his teeth at your display.Â
Youâre the most difficultly-easy person he knows next to Satoru, quick to make the simplest things complicated sometimes, and this time, he was going to give you exactly what you were asking for, but not without reprimand.Â
His thumb landed on your pink tongue, pressing and holding your gaze.
âYou want it?â You caught a subtle thump, and he palmed his shorts. âOi, up hereâ He held your jaw, cocking his brow.
His smirk was devilish, a knowing glint in his eye watching you grow needier by the secondâunable to focus on anything but the desperate need for him to turn your throat into a daycare.Â
Tongue trapped under his thumb, you finally answered him in the only way you knew how, and he watched with parted lips as yours closed around his finger with an eager nod.Â
You were going to be the death of him.
With a tug of his shorts, your fat reward sprang forth, almost brushing the tip of your noseâalready leaking stringy globs of precum for giving him such a hard time.
Your eyes sparkled. Suguru has such a pretty dick. One of the prettiest youâve ever seen thatâs girthy, long, and perfectly made for your greedy throat.Â
It was heavy on your tongue as he tapped it, teasing your palate and holding it out for you to give it a taste.
Less was said, and you gladly accepted your meal, the taste of him coating your tongue as you swirled around the tip before sucking it into your mouth. Â
Suguruâs knees almost buckled as you lapped at him like ice cream, your tongue tracing up and down his shaft before placing gentle kisses under his tip. His face went warm, his fingers threading through your hair as he fought to maintain control. âDonâtânghâtease. Suck itâmmphâproperly.â And with a firm press to your bottom lip, he coaxed your mouth open before pushing in and filling it completely.Â
You gagged, and a deep exhale left his lips feeling your warm mouth finally wrap around him, your eyes watering as the weight of his dick fully seated on your tongue and made your lips stretch to savor every inch.
âThatâs itâmphmâtake it all.â
His hips automatically moved at the feel of your throat, his head softly falling back feeling you relax and hum around him. He couldnât help but gently thrust, his spongy tip kissing the back of your throat and making you blink back tears as he tested your limits. And you only made it harder for him to hold back with the way you ate him up like candy.Â
Even though head is a game, you never play. All day, youâd been torturing yourself, once again denying yourself of your insistent need to swallow his kids in the name of shame, but once the reins were off, you wasted no time satisfying your cravingâknowing exactly how to get Suguru to blow his load.
And fuck was it a losing battle for him to try to keep the tendrils of his orgasm at bay while also trying to remember that he was supposed to be teaching you a lesson.
As he said, closed mouths donât get fed, and he started pulling away with a satisfying âpopâ every time you got too greedy. Rubbing his dick over your lips with a grin before snaking back in and taking you further and further down each time.Â
He groaned watching you take him, your eyes meeting as you looked up. The new cut in his brow made them look even sexier when he bunched them, complementing the low and husky look in his eyes youâd never seen before you sent them rolling when he wrapped your hair around his fist and pushed in to the base.
âHah.â His breath hitched as you swallowed. Once. Twice. Holding you down a sec before he pulled out with an exhale. And as he watched your heavy breaths, struggling to collect yourself but looking up at him with a starry-eyed but fucked out gaze, he got an idea.Â
âWhy do you act so innocent all the time?â he huffed, pushing back in. âLook at you,â his thumb stretched your lips, âChoking on my dick and loving it.â Always the innocent ones, he thinks, full of frills and freaks.Â
And you couldnât deny how the slow and lewd way he fucked your throat made your pussy drip like a waterfall, uring you to rub fast circles across your throbbing clit, but he knew you would try.Â
You were a cock-drunk slut, after all, always getting off when he stretched, used, and abused your throat to his satisfaction, so he knew he would have to lock your hands away to keep your mouth open and you focused since you wanted to taste him so badly.
Still fucking your throat, he said, âTake a breath, baby,â and soon after, you gagged when he leaned over you. âHold it,â and he pulled the string from his hoodie and began counting. âOne, two, three.â Bringing a flood of tears to your fluttering eyes as he sank deep into your throat and tied your wrists behind your back.
Air. God, what is air?? Your lungs screamed for it, stomach tight, but your pussy clenched so sinfully tight from the lack of it.Â
You didnât know it then, but this was an accidental deep dive into something youâd both come to love. The control, the discipline, the trust. The skill you had to possess as a certified throat goat. And most of all, the uncertainty of never knowing when he was going to allow your next breath. Every time counting down until you were squirming for air before pulling out with an exhale as if he were breathing with you.
He ogled at the messy evidence of effort plastered on your face, strings of spit connecting from your lips to his pink tip. His dick twitched at your huffs and tear-streaked face and he rubbed your puffy lips. âFuck, youâre so pretty, baby,â and the words went straight to your swollen clit before he continued playing with you.
He loved how your throat closed around his dick when you swallowed, like you were trying to milk him for every drop. Sucking, blowing, and swallowing til your throat knew every vein and his orgasm was coming and coming fast. His stuttering hips and tightening grip on your hair were enough evidence if the low moans competing with the sloshes of your throat werenât.Â
Heat pooled in his stomach, brows furrowing as he locked eyes with a borderline whiny look. He licked his lips. âReady for me to cum for you, baby?â he asked in that breathy voice he always does before he unravels. And your dick-drunk nod, knowing you were about to earn your meal, was all he needed to cup your jaw, making sure you looked him right in the eye as the coil in him snapped.
âFuck, hah, Iâm cumming,â and he groaned, biting his pierced lips and slipping all the way to the base til your nose brushed his tufts of hair and he filled your throat.Â
Ropes of cum poured out of him, and he went dizzy, his mouth falling open with shaky moans watching your spaced and gone face as he came down your throat. Your wrists strained against the tie as your throat constricted, but you swallowed his throbbing cock with ease like it was the only sustenance you needed. Pumping you full until he was a soft and empty gummy worm in your mouth.Â
He shuddered and collected his breaths, slowly pulling from your lips with a sigh. You hummed and licked themâmost of your lunch had gone to your stomach, but remnants remained on your tongue, warm and delicious.Â
"ThAnk," you cleared your throat. "Thank you," you huffed, throat raw and voice cracking, but he just shook his head and smiled. You were above asking for what you wanted but never forgot to be grateful when you got it.
He swiped your chin with his thumb. "You're a brat," and you beamed, lifting your chin. Because he didn't know how right he was.
And while that was just the beginning of your exploration of power dynamics, it quickly became a very slippery slope. Because while you might've thought you were the expert in all things whips and chains and excitement, Suguru had been quietly doing some research and taking hellah notes. And taking one directly from you, he soon began to make a few secret purchases of his own.
Suguru has his hobbies.Â
He likes to read, play sports to stay fit, and enjoys spending time in nature when he can. Outside of that, heâs pretty simple.Â
But thereâs a little-known fun fact about your beauâheâs a secret artiste.
Itâs rare that heâll break out his paints and easel, but once every blue moon when his inner Picasso strikes, heâll sit for hours, brush to canvas until it all pours out of him.Â
You always find yourself in a trance watching him in that elementâhis quiet intensity as he gets lost in space and creates galaxies. But even though Suguru isn't loud about his talent, heâs actually very creative and always looking for different ways to release and create. Never shying awaying from trying new things and always looking for new mediums. And canvases.Â
You slightly winced, then moaned.Â
Wax is hot in more ways than one, and itâs just perfect for when Suguru wants to creatively get his hands on you.
He loves creating delicate patterns on your back, savoring every moment and watching your face twist between pain and ecstasy as he skillfully lets the wax drip. Never too much at once, the hot lines spill and cool across his favorite canvasâyour skin. There's a world of difference between paper stretched across wood, and the softness beneath his hands, and your skin is far lovelier, simply irresistible.Â
His hair brushed your skin as he leaned down, his lips tracing down your back and between the patterns. So soft against his lips. All of you, from your neck to your chest to your tummy, softly mold under his fingers like clay when he worships you like art, and sometimes heâll drip hot lines down your inner thighs and plush cheeks just so he can melt his lips between themâfeeling so lucky to have the privilege to feast on a masterpiece.Â
Your own little van Gogh, drowning his nose in your folds and bringing curses to your lips.
You knew Suguru was a modern-day Michelangelo with a paintbrush, but now your once shy and reserved man was having too much fun exploring all the unconventional ways he could create artâand slowly crossing over into a world of kinky debauchery.Â
And at the end of every session, he never forgets to take a Polaroid picture to show you and keep for himself. A little testament to his sentiments and sensuality. It wasnât all just about whips and chains after all.Â
You also neededâ
Buzz!Â
Your eyes screw shut and you tense but canât move because of the
ârope.
âHey,â Suguru snaps. âI said keep your eyes on me,â and you shot daggers at him because how the hell could you when youâve been overstimulated for hours and have already cum, twice? Â
Eyes softening, you whimper, but your heart sinks when he just rolls his eyes.
Fuck.Â
You really did it this time.Â
Your boyfriend has a lot of patience, a thin line for everyone else but a lot for you. But God, do you know how to fucking tap dance on it sometimes.
âDid you think you were cute?â his face screwed. âDancing in sections and on bars. Guys?â The vibrations increase, and you double over whining.
In all fairness, you did beg him to come out with you and your girls earlier, but your boo has been working on a big project lately and was understandably beyond tired. Still, you complained, eventually giving up and still going out without him, but you didn't expect a play-by-play of your night and mini rebellion to end up all over your equally drunk friendâs Snapchatâor for Suguru to see it.Â
You picked a hell of a time to act out too, because, after weeks of secretly practicing his newest obsession, Suguru had finally perfected it: the harness prayer tie, and watching your wrists struggle against his work was the most satisfying confirmation of his skill he couldâve asked for.Â
The skill and intricacy of restraint and rope play was the perfect balance between tapping into his creative side and reeling you in when you got out of handânow proving very useful after you had fully pissed him off.Â
Leaning down, he grips your face. âYou wanna act like a slut so badly, Iâm gonna treat you one.â
But he didnât just give you the dick youâd been acting out over right away thoughâhe hardly thought you deserved it.Â
Instead, a vibrator has been nuzzling your clit for hours after he woke you up the following morning and went to work with his tieâyour blubbering whines falling on deaf ears as he overstimulated you until you felt ruined and raw.
Sniffling, you plead, âIâm sorry, Sugu.â
âYouâre always sorry,â he bites back, his hand wrapping under your jaw. âAnd so fucking greedy, you know that? I bet you still want me to fuck you stupid like the cock-thirsty slut you are even though youâve been begging me for a break.â And your stomach pangs, a fresh wave of arousal pooling between your thighs despite the rawness because he was more than right.Â
âYou want attention so bad, you want me to fuck you so bad,â he pulls your hair, making you look straight at him. âThen beg,â and the serious way he looks at you makes you actually start to feel bad for upsetting him so much.
Swallowing your pride, tears prick the corners of your eyes. âPlease,â you whimper, âIâll do anything just pleaseâŠplease fuck me.â
And the words had barely left your lips when fear shot through you, his eyes darkening as you quickly realized that you shouldâve been more careful with what you wished for.Â
Without warning, he placed you on the bed and flipped you over. Gripping your hips, he hastily pushed you down into a grade-A arch and tucked his tee between his teeth, springing his cock free before knocking a breath out of you with one swift thrust.Â
You both gasp, every muscle tensing as your Earths shatter.
Suguru nearly collapses. Your tight pussy that's been dripping and yearning for hours is easy to slide into yet struggles to accommodate his fat girth, but that doesn't stop him from reeling his hips back and pushing in even deeper.
You nearly draw blood from your lip as he begins to thrust with a pent-up intensity that's been building since last night, nearly blue-balling himself to take care of you in your drunken state and fighting the urge to say fuck it and punish you right then and there.
But now that you were good and sober and overly sensitive, he could finally ruin your dick-starved pussy and fuck you blind.Â
His hold on you tightens, his knuckles turning white as he fucks into you with a primal urgency. Not caring if you can take it or not because he needs his dick burned into your brain in a way you wouldnât forget. Besides, who could possibly hold back when you feel so fucking good wrapped around him? Mind-numbing in a way he can never get enough and desperately needs more, and he grips the divots of your waist and pulls you closer, making struggled whines fall from your mouth as he makes you simply take it.
The nerves of your pussy are on fire as every inch of him stretches and hastily fills you, the persistent vibrator on your clit still buzzing and sending you spiraling.
The way he's manhandling you, the soreness in your wrists, and the relentless rhythm of his hips all blend into a rush more intoxicating than anything you had last night until you're overwhelmed and bucking to get away.Â
âUh-uh, donât run.â And his hand wraps around your neck, pulling you up and back against him, two fingers hooking in your mouth and making you arch so deliciously that every kiss of your cervix sends spasms through your walls and coaxes his cock for everything heâs got.Â
"You feel that?" he snaps. "I fucking bet you do." And your breath grows lighter and lighter until your head goes dizzy, your body turning to Jell-O and slowly melting into the bed, but he follows you down and deepens his stroke. You lose your arch, but with one quick thrust, your nails are digging into your palms. He slaps your ass, punishment for making him mess up his rhythm, before hiking you back up and resuming the brutal pace.
Your mind goes blank and his hair falls from its neat bun, sticking to his sweat-slicked forehead from how hard he's fucking you and leaving you caught between begging for mercy and craving more of this delicious torture.
"Look at you," he growls, "Fuckin' bratânghâthis is what you wanted, right?" And you can barely form a coherent thought, let alone speak, your reply coming out as garbled moans, but Suguru is having none of it, his hand sliding from your neck to your hair and pulling your head back. You cry out, the sound muffled by his fingers still hooked in your mouth as he bottoms out inside you. "I asked you a question," and the room fills with obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin and fumbling 'yeses' from your mouth as he bullies your cervix.Â
"Fuck hah," his brows furrow, "you drive me crazy, you know that?" he says, voice strained. "You wanted attention?" he breathes, "Well, now you've got it. Every. Fucking. Inch of it." and each word is punctuated by his leaky tip, making your overstimulated pussy clench and draw a sharp hiss from his lips.
"That's it, baby," his rhythm slightly falters. "Squeeze my cock. Show me how sorry you are." And his hand slips from your lips and snakes around your front, pressing the vibrator even harder against you until the delicious stretch of his cock and the merciless buzzing becomes too much to bear.
Your vision blurs, your thighs quaking and trying to draw together, but there's no escape.Â
"You right there?" He pushes through the familiar clench of your walls. "Then cum for me," Suguru commands, and the words are the final push you need for your orgasm to rip through you like lightningâyour body involuntarily arching as waves of hot, white pleasure crash over you.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," you helplessly choke out, walls spazzing and gripping Suguru's cock like shackles, pulsating around him until it forces his own to come chasing after yours.
He struggles for breaths, "Where do you want it, baby?" But it was just a formality, a silly question really, because there was no way he could pull out of your vice-grip. He just needed to know you wanted it as badly as he wanted to fill you up.
"Inside, please, inside me, please," you stammer, still reeling from your own orgasm before he sends you into another, pulling you taunt by the rope and flushing you against his waist.
"Take it," and his moan is low and guttural, his fingers digging into your hips and locking you in as his body tenses, his hot seed flooding and filling you to the brim.
Your eyes meet the top of your head as you cum again in tandem, bliss rippling through your bodies.
"Fuck, c'mere." His lips crash onto yours in a searing kiss, plunging his pulsing cock deep into you one more time as he rides out the last waves of his orgasm, pumping out the last of his seed until you're both panting and trembling and he feels his cum oozing out of you.
Slowly, Suguru releases his grip on your hair, deeply exhaling as he gently lowers the both of you to the bed, his softening cock still nestled inside you. You whimper at the still buzzing vibrator, and he finally switches it off, tossing it aside.
He presses soft, soothing kisses to your shoulder. "You did so well, baby," and he carefully unties the rope, his touch tender and apologetic as he massages the faint marks and kisses your wrists.Â
Out of everything you do together, inside and out of your newfound dynamic, this is his favorite part of all: putting you back together after breaking you into pieces.
His unwavering desire to care for you never changes, even when you do the absolute most just to get his attention and show him that you're just as obsessed with him as he is with youâyour private but unmistakably commanding Panther and his secretly kinky Powderpuff princess who was now hanging on to life by a thread.
He softly laughs, slinging your limp arms around his neck and pulling you lovingly into his chest as you breathe. His fingers trace lazy patterns on your rib, his lips peppering your head with kisses as he sighed, feeling your heartbeat slowly sync with his.
But after a few moments in each other's arms, a curiosity that's been living rent-free in Suguru's head for quite some time now rears its ugly headâand he just has to know the answer.
"Sooo," he drawls, "... Taichi or me?" And you almost snort, a smile tugging at your lips as you nuzzle his chest. You look up at him with a playful gaze only to find him deadassâfiguring that after a day like today, there would be no better time to officially find out if he's finally settled the score with your anime husband.
Your eyes smile, and you reach up with the little strength you have to gently stroke his face and softly kiss his jaw.
You contently sigh. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, babe.â
extended angel's note: oh god what can i say...
i can confidently say that this took me the entire month of september to write and it's definitely the hardest pieces i've worked on so far god bLESS
y'all have no idea how much word count RESTRAINT i had to use just to keep this reasonable (i do have a slightly extended version just for myself tho đ€)
this was supposed to drop on my bday (unironically the day JJK ended) but life is life đ€
anywho, thanks for reading 12k words of pure unadultered, unhinged smut. i hope it was worth it đ«¶đż
#bluuharem#SoftDomSuguru#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk geto#suguru geto#geto suguru#jjk x y/n#jjk imagines#suguru geto x you#suguru geto smut#jjk suguru#suguru x reader#suguru x y/n#suguru x you#geto x you#geto x y/n#geto smut#anime fanfic
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