#find the hidden aroace flag | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cupofdirtandworms · 1 year ago

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I'm tried of being scared to do mogai shiz

I highly suggest people don't just use he/they pronouns and refer to me with and neo pronouns as well (includes emoji pronouns)

Flags in first panel

Uranic, ace, myr aro heart, trans loop, paraboy loop, non binary ribbon, agender ribbon, disability crown

Flags in 2nd through 5th panel

Aroace and trans

Flags in final panel

Cryptidmothman- a Subterm in the CryptidGender gender system, where one is a mothman like cryptid, a cryptid who is mothman, both cryptid and mothman, etc. (Coined by @Blood-moon-night-coining) Cryptidboy- to identify outwardly as a man, but inwardly as a crypid-like entity (coined by @m4lwareangel ) Mothmangender- gender connected to mothman (including it's aesthetic, or moths/crypids in general) in some way, shape, or form (coined by @mogai-gallery) Mothmancomfic- a gender relating to being comfortable in mothman and/or having mothman as your comfort crypid (coined by queermogaigremlin, flag by @sunshinesolaic) Acrptigender-a gender related to cryptids, the forest and mysteries. It feels very faint and can be confusing, like it barely there. It's inherently genderless due to the unclear nature of cryptids (coined by @genderyboy) Mothmanic- a xenogender that feels related to mothman this gender can feel hidden or cryptic (coined by @xenogender-flags) Raincatgoric- a gender relating to cats, rainbows, neon colors, gore, black cats, and/or rainbowcore (coined by @snas-is-ness) Mothmascic- a gender that is masculine in nature related to/effected by moths or mothman (coined by @thefolklorecollective) Crypmagian- gender connected to crypid magic. This may apply to witchcraft or fictional magic. (Coined by @pupyzu) Shycatgender- where ones get feels timid or shy yet also related to cats in a way (coined by @novas-writing-rambles) Starrylavendercatgender- a gender relating to starry nights, lavender, and cats (coined by @chaotically-an-emilyy-deactivat) Sillycatboygender- when you gender's just a silly catboy (coined by @genderstarbucks) Catboygender- (flag by crispnuqqet)thi Tomgender- a xenogender fully identifying as male and catgender. (Coined by @bubblez-is-sour) Catboygamergender- cannot re-find it please help if you can Six eyed gender(name might not be correct) cannot re-find this one, I know it's when your gender is like a six eyed monster. Please help if you can Eldritchine- a xenogender connected to eldritch horrors in some way (coined by @nebularomantic) Transmasc Paraboy Non binary Agender Uranic Asexual Myrromantic ADHD autism Annulian Catgender

Sorry if citing the original coiners in unnecessary I just want to me sure. Please tell me if any of them is wrong.

#lgballt #xenogender #catgender #trans #gender go brrrrr #pronouns #digital art

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rjalker · 2 years ago

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Aroace lesbian pride flags! Because I couldn't find any until after I'd made them and that one was made using an aroace flag created specifically to exclude mspec lesbians, and in this house, we do not tolerate exclusionism and bigotry. Mspec lesbians are lesbians. So are trans lesbians! So are multigender lesbians! End of fucking discussion!

These are public domain, meaning you can use them for anything you'd use a pride flag for, no credit or permission needed. You can download the HD versions from the web archive here.

My only request if you use them is that, whenever possible, you include an accessible image description, meaning in plain, non-colored, non bolded or italicized or tiny text, not hidden under a read more, ect.

The orange, white, and blue stripes on each one are meant to be the top part of the orange and blue aroace flag, with an extra orange stripe in between the first orange and yellow to show more variety of experiences.

Please feel free to change the colors or saturation, and make more variations if you want! Use it for literally anything you'd use a pride flag for!

These flags are inclusive of all lesbians. Yes, all of them! Do you identify as a lesbian? Congrats! You are welcome to use these flags!

= = =

Aroace lesbian flag:

[ID: Two versions of a pride flag. The first is shaped like a square the second is a wide rectangle.

The pride flag has nine stripes of: Dark orange, orange, pale yellow, white, sky blue, white, bubblegum pink, berry red, and very dark berry red. End ID.]

Femme aroace lesbian flag:

[ID: Two versions of a pride flag. The first is shaped like a square the second is a wide rectangle.

The pride flag has nine stripes of: Dark orange, orange, pale yellow, white, sky blue, white, pale pink, bubblegum pink, and dark purple.

End ID.]

Butch aroace lesbian flag:

[ID: Two versions of a pride flag. The first is shaped like a square the second is a wide rectangle.

The pride flag has nine stripes of: Dark orange, orange, pale yellow, white, sky blue, white, tan, burnt orange, and dark brown.

End ID.]

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clotpolesonly · 3 years ago

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A Promise In Purple

so my writing mojo hasn’t been great, but i was determined to get SOMETHING written for AroAce April Bingo (actual bingo card at the bottom under the cut), so have another heaping dose of fluffy ace!Derek and supportive!Stiles uwu

(also on AO3)

There was a pencil topper on Derek’s coffee table. A little sparkly purple rubber thing that looked like it had been stolen out of a tween girl’s backpack, sitting innocuously in the middle of Derek’s loft like it wasn’t bizarre for it to be there.

It smelled like Stiles.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Derek snatched the thing up, shoved it in his pocket, and headed right back out the door. It was only mid-afternoon, so Stiles was in his room when Derek hoisted himself up to the window. There were textbooks spread out in front of him like he was doing homework, though Derek would bet money that he was really just fucking around on the internet. He jumped a foot in the air when Derek tapped on his window, though he moved to open it readily enough.

Before Stiles could ask why he was there, Derek perched on the windowsill, pulled out the pencil topper, and said, “Stiles, are you buying every purple thing you can find as a way of flirting with me?”

Stiles’ face went red. “Psh!” he said. “No! Of course not, that would be—”

Derek raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe. Yes. Why, is it working?”

The glitter in the pencil topper sparkled in the sunlight. The stickers that Stiles had left taped to the loft door had been glittery too, hearts and shapes and words of affirmation that had nothing in common except for their color. The purple mug he’d found in the front seat of his camaro had been blessedly matte, though the kitten logo on the side was a bit garish. The purple t-shirt neatly folded and left on his doormat had been tie-dye. The teddy bear’s fur wasn’t sparkly, but the heart stitched to its hands had been.

All of it placed conspicuously where Derek would find it. All of it sans note but with Stiles’ scent all over it. And all of it purple—the same shade as the asexuality pride flag, only a week after Derek had finally worked up the courage to tell his pack how he identified.

Derek stared down at the pencil topper, something so ridiculous and that served no purpose whatsoever other than as a gesture of affection and support, and he smiled.

Only someone like Stiles would think this weird magpie-like gift-giving would qualify as a flirtation. What did it say about Derek that it was so effective? That he had all the gifts in a pile on his bedside table? That he’d caught himself thinking about them and smiling to himself throughout his day, pleased by the mere memory of the silly, useless trinkets hidden away in his room and wondering if he would find another one soon?

It probably said that he liked Stiles. And it wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah,” he said, “it kind of is.”

Stiles’ full body flail of triumph carried him out of his seat and into Derek’s space, hands landing on Derek’s knees. He leaned his weight on them, beaming. Derek held the most recent gift up in the scant space left between them.

“This thing?” he asked. “Really? Where did you even get this?”

“CVS,” Stiles said, without an ounce of shame. “It was in one of those little discount baskets up by the checkout.”

“Of course. And the others?”

“I think the stickers were from there too,” Stiles said, fingers tapping on Derek’s thigh. “No! Those were Wal-Mart. Pencil thingie, CVS, stickers, Wal-Mart. The mug was from Etsy. The little NSA man that lives in my phone fed me the t-shirt in a well-placed Facebook ad ten seconds after I mentioned wanting to find you one—thanks, NSA man—and the teddy bear was from one of those claw machine things at Dave & Busters.”

“We have a Dave & Busters?”

Stiles stared at him. “Oh my god, Derek, have you never been to Dave & Busters? Dude, you have to go! We have to go! Fuck it, that’s our first date right there.”

Derek laughed. Honestly, that sounded like a fantastic time, and a “yes” hovered on the tip of his tongue. But there was something else he needed to know first.

Rolling the pencil topper between his fingers, Derek said, “You know, we’ve known each other for over two years and you’ve never flirted with me before this week. I didn’t think you…”

Liked me. Not like this.

“Well, I didn’t think you—” Stiles’ grip on Derek’s knees tightened as he swayed another inch closer. Color flooded his face again. “I was pretty sure that you weren’t interested in me. I may have had Scott sniff you a few times, discreetly, to check for pheromones or whatever. He said it didn’t smell like you were attracted to me, so I sort of wrote it off as a lost cause, you know?”

Derek did remember Scott hovering around him a few times in pack meetings. He hadn’t been discreet at all, actually, but Derek hadn’t really cared what he was looking for at the time. He gave the pencil topper another squeeze and bit his lip. “And now?”

“Now,” Stiles said, a grin inching back onto his face, “I know that the lack of pheromones isn’t personal and does not, in fact, preclude romantic interest. So I figured I’d give it a try, on the off chance you might be up for it. Can’t score if you don’t shoot your shot, right?”

Derek raised one eyebrow. “To be fair, you’re not gonna score either way.”

Stiles’ laugh burst out of him immediately, so intense that he snorted. “Oh my god, dude, there is a whole new world of punnage available to us now! Can I make ace jokes too, or just you? Would it be weird for me and the pack to joke about it? Would you mind?”

Dazed but smiling, Derek shook his head. “I don’t mind.”

It took a minute for Stiles to get his giggles under control. When the worst of them had passed, he wiped at his streaming eyes and then fixed them on Derek.

“Man, I am gonna date you so hard.”

Derek’s smile grew. “Yeah? Even with…?” He held up the purple pencil topper and gave it a little shake.

Stiles snatched it from him, tossing it up in the air and catching it in his fist. He said, “Yeah. Even with. And you can bet your ass, I am gonna win so many tickets at Dave & Busters and buy you every purple thing I can possibly find in that prize section. I will even spend another two hours fighting with that damn claw machine to get you more purple teddy bears.”

“It took you two hours to get that thing?”

“Damn right it did,” Stiles declared. “And it was worth it.”

“You’re crazy,” Derek said, marveling. It was his turn to blush.

Stiles bit his lip, eyes squeezed closed for a moment. “Derek, I need you to know how much self-control it just took me to not immediately respond with ‘crazy about you’. I was so close.”

“I appreciate your restraint.”

“Good, now get out of here before my self-control runs out and I kiss you prematurely.”

That statement did nothing to quell the heat in Derek’s cheeks. Stiles said it so casually, so confidently, as he finally released his grip on Derek’s knees. He stepped back to put space between them, cold air—not cold at all, really, but compared to the warmth of having him close—rushing in to fill the gap, but his eyes never left Derek’s face.

Heart racing in a way he was very glad that Stiles couldn’t hear, Derek slipped back out of the window as instructed. It wasn’t until he was halfway back to the loft that he realized Stiles had kept the pencil topper.

That was okay. Derek had a pile of other presents waiting for him at home, and the promise, now, of a dozen more.

#aroaceapril #Sterek #Derek Hale #ace!Derek #Stiles Stilinski #Teen Wolf #fanfiction #fics by me #this is my 7th posted ace!Derek fic adflkgjh #i'm love him ok

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aceadmiral · 2 years ago

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Hello, hope you are well

I've been reading your (at time of writing) most recent post regarding the sunset aroace flag. Thanks for making it first off, it's really important to raise

Nonetheless, I'm messaging because i wanted to ask what you're referring to with asexual elitism. There's absolutely no obligation to reply or expend energy explaining this to me, but you write as though its an established thing, so I've clearly missed something. I've done some research, but I can't find anything particularly recent, and I am unsure as to how what I have found relates to the sunset flag, so I'm not sure if I'm on the wrong track entirely or if I'm just missing the connection?

Again, no obligation to reply and I'm sorry if this causes offence or isn't something you want to answer.

Hi anon! Thank you for reading my post, and sorry for the delayed response to your ask; I wanted to makes sure to give it the time and attention it deserves.

For the tl;dr inclined among us, "asexual elitism" is a construction of a hierarchy among aces based on the person's proximity to normative romantic/sexual relationships, with the type of people being referenced with the "sunset" flag at the top of the heap and classes below variously including sex-favorable aces, aces who have or have had sex, "libidoists" and/or people who masturbate, non-aromantic aces, and most especially gray-aces particularly demis. These beliefs typically originated in a resentment of and/or disdain for sex (and by extension non-asexual people) as base, animalistic, dirty, etc.; aces who were not like them were "tainted" by this baseness as well. The outcome of such attitudes could range from unconscious expressions of derision towards those aces they considered to be "less than" to full-on exclusionary and gatekeeping behavior.

I'm not particularly surprised you weren't able to find any recent sources, though, because the main time period of this conflict was in fact quite a while ago, reaching its apex in the latter half of the 2000s. That's why I framed it in the context of community memory; it was an active problem with an active reaction (directly pushing back and/or creating explicitly non-elitist communities) that has been essentially eclipsed by other concerns, both internal and external, that popped up in the 2010s. However, I agree with Talia in their 2012/2013 essay "Asexual Elitism is Alive and Well"** that while we did a pretty good job against overt elitism, there remained a passive (or, as they say, "hidden") strain that persisted. The fracturing of the community and consequential lack of strong community norms has, I believe, led to the situation we see now where people are reproducing these beliefs with little critical examination.

I think it's relevant to bring up specifically asexual elitism and not a more modern alternative like "exclusionist" or "gatekeeper" to include that behavior that doesn't necessarily rise to the level of saying "this person is not a 'true' asexual" and remind people of how destructive it can be and has been in the past. Especially because I also see an pattern of people recently taking stock of all we've lost to harassment from outside our community but concluding that all of our ills are their fault. While I certainly would assign them the blame, it's prudent for us to recognize the ways the lingering effects of elitism and its ilk shaped our reaction and rhetoric.

Hopefully that is a helpful explanation! But if not, I am happy to clarify. Thank you for the question!

**BTW, as a little but of trivia, I believe this is the essay that finally coined the term "sex-favorable." If you want to read the AVEN thread Talia references in the piece, it's here. In googling it for the link I also came across this contemporaneous reaction as well.

#community #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #replies #anonymous #history

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aroclawthornes · 3 years ago

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Blooming Brilliant, an Aroace Willow Park Manifesto

[id: a gif of a heart locket opening. One half of the locket displays a picture of Willow Park from The Owl House, winking and making peace signs with her fingers. Blue and yellow stars surround her. The other half reads "willow park my beloved." /end id.]

Greetings! It’s me, User Aroclawthornes, and instead of working on all the time-sensitive homework I have I sat down and wrote an essay explaining why I think Willow Park OwlHouse could plausibly be read as aroace, and why it would be a thematically enriching interpretation. I’ve never written anything like this before, so it’s oddly formal, a little pretentious, and contains a lot of qualifying language, but I'm confident that it gets my point across. I’m not intending to speak over other interpretations of Willow or assert that it's the only true way to read her, but it's a headcanon I find interesting, and I think there’s a lot of evidence to back it up, between certain elements that Willow’s arc employs to some good old overanalysed symbolism. If you're aspec, I hope this is validating; if you're not, I hope it's interesting; if you don't care, scrolling past it is quick, free, and easy.

Some disclaimers on terminology: I’m speaking from an aroace perspective, and so when I say “aspec coding” I’m generally referring to both orientations as a catch-all - a lot of the coding surrounding Willow could go either way. I’m also going to be talking about commonly accepted “aspec” narratives, but I’m aware of the limitations of this insofar as my experiences are only a single facet of the diverse range of aspec people in this world, so anyone who wants to add or argue anything - respectfully - is encouraged to.

Analysis below the cut!

The Thing About Plants

I’m not going to pretend that an association with plants is historically indicative of aspec coding, because, frankly, there haven’t been enough aspec characters to establish it as a convention, and it’s also a fairly wide-reaching branch of symbolism. However, I am going to propose that lighthearted comparisons between asexual people and plants (however misguided on functions of plant reproduction they are) are fairly common elements of budding ace teenage humour, as are related quips about photosynthesis.

[id: a screenshot of Willow from "I Was A Teenage Abomination", depicting her sitting on the ground while casting a spell over a small, pink flower. /end id.]

I’m also not going to claim that the colour green Belongs To Aromantics, and therefore that All Plants Are Belong To Us, but in tandem with everything else I’m about to cover, the connection between Willow and plants seems like a fairly plausible nudge to a relatively common element of aspec humour.

“Half-a-witch” Willow and the Late Bloomer Experience

[id: a screenshot of Willow with glowing green eyes, from "I Was A Teenage Abomination", depicting her summoning a mess of thorned vines. /end id]

Willow is literally nicknamed “half-a-witch”, in reference to her supposedly incomplete state - this is a sentiment eerily reminiscent of the pressure to find one’s “other half”, which affects aspec - especially aromantic - people particularly profoundly. She’s considered a late bloomer, someone who hasn’t reached the societal milestones of growth at the expected age, and who is derided and considered immature as a result of this perceived failure. However, we quickly discover that Willow is, in fact, an exceptionally competent and powerful witch - taken out of the restricting frame of the Abominations track, she’s able to grow into her own, “complete” person, therefore proving that she was never really lacking in anything in the first place. Like real-life aroace people, she was perceived as limited and immature based on the expectations and judgements of other people, but Willow was never deficient in anything, least of all herself.

[id: a screenshot of Willow and Luz from "I Was A Teenage Abomination". They are holding hands - the former is laughing with her eyes closed, and the latter is grinning, while covered in abomination goop. /end id]

As far as symbolism goes...the track Willow is initially put in literally requires her to conjure up another humanoid entity, with the expectation that she will therefore prove herself to be a whole and mature person. Only with this ability, she’s told, will she be successful and happy as an adult. The shapelessness of her attempts at conjuring an abomination reinforces this connection in my mind - if I may reference this quote from Ducktales 2017‘s (absolutely stellar) A Nightmare On Killmotor Hill, in which the protagonists explore their own subconscious fears via. the dream realm, for a second:

“I think that’s supposed to be my romantic interest, but I’m too threatened by the concept, so it never takes shape.”

A lot of young aroace people find themselves in situations where they attempt to convince themself of their interest in someone in an attempt to be “normal,” or end up lying in response to family members or friends’ questions about crushes. While Willow’s abominations, first and foremost, represent the expectations from her school, classmates, and family to be a successful, “complete” witch with a profitable future, I think that with an aroace interpretation of Willow they could also very easily be read as representing some latent insecurities over a lack of attraction, or pressure to find a significant other.

(I’m not condemning Willow’s dads, by the way - they seem like perfectly lovely fellas, and I’m confident that they were doing what they thought was best for her. They’re certainly very quick to drop everything to assure her future in Escaping Expulsion, so obviously they care about their daughter very much.)

Greens, Blues, and Yellows: Colour-Coding Willow Park

A while back, I made this post comparing Willow’s palette to the aromantic and aroace flags:

[id: a screenshot of a post depicting the aromantic and aromantic asexual flags, colour-picked from images of Willow in her Hexside uniform and casual dress respectively - these are overlaid on top of the flags. The caption reads "observations on willow park". /end id.]

The grey-and-green aromantic flag has long been the accepted mainstream symbol of aromanticism, and, as the above post - and many others - demonstrate, Willow’s palette reflects it near-perfectly. This could easily be a coincidence, owing to the palette of the standard Hexside Plant Track uniform, as well as her hair and eye colours - which are obviously supposed to be reflective of her plant-related abilities. However, given how fond of employing hidden meanings The Owl House has shown itself to be, I don’t think it’s far-fetched to claim that there’s at least a chance that her palette was constructed with the flag in mind.

The latter is...a bit more problematic for me, although it’s fun to joke about. The blue-and-yellow aroace flag was only created in December 2018, relatively late into The Owl House’s initial production, and it’s still relatively obscure, although on the rise in popularity as the accepted aroace flag (I only recently started using it myself), so I don’t know if Willow’s casual wear is enough to verify the presence of any deliberate subtext. I think it’s a fun coincidence, however, and (as was pointed out in this post) it’s cool that these blue and yellow stars surrounding Willow occur in the same frame as Luz’s bisexual decor:

[id: a photograph of Luz, Gus, and Willow, all surrounding a disgruntled-looking Principal Bump. Luz has flowers in the colours of the bisexual flag decorating her hair, while Willow is surrounded by bright blue and yellow stars. /end id.]

also seen above: powerful bi/aspec solidarity

Conclusion:

Do I genuinely believe that Willow is being deliberately written this way? If you’d asked me, say, two months ago, I’d have said probably not - as far as queer representation in kids’ cartoons has come, it has a ways to go, and focusing on transgender characters seems like a more obvious (and equally invaluable) route to go down. I can name maybe five explicitly aspec characters off the top of my head, two of whom have been written as alloromantic and/or sexual in adaptations or continuations of the source material (I have...some grievances with 2005 Doctor Who). But the emergence of Raine, an explicitly nonbinary character on Disney Channel, has given me a little spark of hope, and so, even if it’s never confirmed, it’s comforting to be able to see a character with such strong elements of aspec coding and think to myself, just maybe, that there might be some intent behind it.

I also...really want to see interesting things done with Willow. We’re halfway through Season 2, and despite some promising setup for her arc in the Season 1 finale, she’s sort of been left by the wayside lately in favour of developing the more “plot-relevant” characters, such as Luz, Amity, Eda, and Hunter. Frankly, I think it’s a disservice to her Season 1 development, despite how much I adore all the characters I just listed - beyond any personal motivation, the prospect that Willow could be aroace adds a lot of sorely-sought depth to her, and, as detailed, a lot of this has already been set up in her earlier episodes. I just...I think it’d be neat. Rarely do you get a kids’ show so brazenly queer in its themes as Owl House, and aspec people deserve to be included in that.

Willow would also be great aroace representation because, well - those five or so aspec characters I mentioned being aware of are all white or “raceless” (...also written as white, basically), and so an aspec Asian character would be a really lovely step forward in this area. Additionally, all the characters I referred to are also conventionally skinny, and Willow is not only fat, but written in a way that doesn’t treat this feature as a caricature. People who are more knowledgeable on these topics than I are absolutely free to make additions, as is anyone who feels like I’ve left certain details out.

tl;dr: Willow’s association with plants could be read as a cool nod to aspec humour, her “late bloomer” narrative is eerily reminiscent of some common aspec experiences, her palette speaks for itself, and it’d be really cool if we could diversify the so-far fairly bland sphere of aspec representation.

I’m going to conclude this by linking Rose by The Oh Hellos, because they’re my favourite band, they share The Owl House’s initials, and I also think it’s a good Willow song. Peace out.

youtube

#the owl house #willow park #pspspspsps you will read my 1.5k word aroace willow essay #hooting #meta #willow #aroace willow manifesto #fuck it. this is getting posted

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mylasttwobraincellsandi · 2 years ago

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I have no idea when any of this happened. Most likely because I got on Tumblr in 2020 and because I am too young. But it is horrific.

Even with none of this, I struggled with internalized aphobia when I initially figured out I was aroace. It took me years to become comfortable in my own skin. But even then, I still have days when an existential crisis hits (usually it resolves itself after spending 10 minutes with allos.).

But ever since then, I have always looked for ways to express my identity as an aroace person only to find that there is painfully little to do just that. The aroace flag is not as easy to find as the others. I didn’t know about the rings (although now that I know, I like to believe my partiality towards black rings comes from the subconscious knowledge of being aroace. People constantly question my identity (one person even asked if I was aroace due to past trauma. Which I found incredibly saddening. My identity is so hidden away that people can’t associate it with happiness. And on that note, what trauma someone may or may not have had in the past should have NO relevance to your ability to respect their identity in the present.) and often express pity or disappointment. Other queer people don’t even know what the term aromantic or asexual means. As someone who identifies as queer, I am expected to know about many identities. But no one returns the courtesy. The proud allies who think they know everything still fail to know what my identity is.

I hate it.

I am happy. I don’t need sympathy. I am real. I am NOT broken.

What I want is respect. Additionally, growing up in a conservative country was actually helpful for me. My identity was so rare that people didn’t know how to be homophobic about it. This meant I could talk about it freely. I saw the fear my bi and lesbian friends had about being outed. I saw their fear and felt their pain.

I hope the forgotten aroace culture grows again. I want an active community. Whenever I meet another aroace person online, the excitement I feel is inexplicable. I want the feeling of being part of a loving community that other identities get.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

#aroace

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braveblackbutterfly · 2 years ago

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Before I call it a night, I wanted to make this post.

I think I'm going to drop my demisexual label. Which kinda sucks because it was the first thing I came out as before accepting that I was (also) bisexual. And I have this huge ace pride flag hidden away in my closet underneath my bi pride flag which is a tiny bit smaller.

Deep down, I kinda knew I didn't truly belong in the ace community, despite doing a ton of research on asexuality. And I do still want to see more aroace representation on TV and books.

I won't get too detailed on this post, but I do find myself getting attracted to some people a little before I make a strong emotional connection to them. And despite never been in a relationship, I really do want a relationship that includes a little of everything: hugs, kisses, other things. But! I still need to work on myself first before I can begin a relationship with someone.

So yeah, my labels will just be bi and queer from now on.

#bbb butterfly

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aromagni · 7 years ago

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Feel free to ignore this if it's too personal, but I saw your post on the arogender flag and your tags saying that you relate to that label, and I was wondering if you could elaborate? How does being aroace interact with your gender identity?

(For anyone curious, the post mentioned can be found here)The single most concrete example I can think of about how being aroace affected my gender is that 15yo me deliberately switched from feminine clothes to wearing “neutral” clothes, citing that feminine clothes were generally more tight/revealing and I didn’t want to feel sexualized. In hindsight, I realize that a lot of this probably had to do with me not feeling like a girl and that hidden in my discomfort with “being sexualized” was also the dysphoria I felt. In this way, my aroace identity kinda obscured my agender identity, but simultaneously it allowed me to explore my gender expression, by adopting a generally queer aesthetic and cutting my hair short because I “didn’t want to look straight”. I am Aromantic, Asexual, and Agender, which puts me in an interesting position where my identity is primarily defined by what I’m not, rather than by what I am. It can be difficult to realize what you don’t feel and even harder to define it, which for me was especially the case with my gender. Gender is rather ambiguously defined, perhaps because it differs a little for everyone. However, I think a lot of masculinity and femininity is expressed through how people experience their attractions, or at least it was a lot more difficult for me to find explanations of what gender felt like because many were dependent on romance and such. So while being aroace made me accustomed to examining my identity and whether or not I felt something, it also made it much more difficult to understand gender enough to determine whether or not I feel it.I really like the term arogender because if I had seen it 2-3 years ago, I would’ve been able to confidently identify with it rather than continuing to procrastinate the whole gender thing. I’d been considering agender for years but was never sure because definitions are so confusing (and it was only the recent realization that answering “She/Her” as my preferred pronouns felt like a lie which had me finally identifying confidently as agender). So basically I identify as agender for simplicity because it is accurate, but I very much consider arogender to be a more precise term for my gender and thus I use it as a modifier to describe the way I experience being agender.

#aromantic #arogender #aroace #agender #triple a #nonbinary #my post #magni's thoughts #thanks for asking!#feel free to reblog #I don't consider the question too personal it just took me a few days to be on my computer and have time for it because school #acemindbreaker

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