#find out the goblin matriarch is missing
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good news everyone, my character has been presented with an opportunity to get railed
how to bring up to your dungeon master that your character might be better if she got railed
#so we're in this city#where the population is made up of gnomes halflings and goblins#we need to go murder a councilman in the gnome part of town#but he's under house arrest or something#so we need a distraction to draw away the guards#and things in the city are Tense between the three groups#and we were like 'well if we blow something up to cause a distraction#the goblins are gonna get blamed for it#so maybe this all goes easier if we get the goblins on our side and get them to actually cause the distraction'#we start bar hopping in the goblin district#find out the goblin matriarch is missing#and her granddaughter is fixin to cause some shit#we hunt her down#our barbarian and wizard strike out on convincing her to help#our cleric decides to win the bar over with food#she has a magic seasoning set that has some interesting effects#one of which causes the creature to be charmed by the first person they see after eating it#and! if they are of a species and gender that the affected creature is attracted to#they are convinced that the creature is their true love#for ten minutes#of course the party sends my paladin to take our one last stab at getting them on our side#of course the goblin leader is a funky little lesbian#the charm did wear off of course but there was nothing in the description that said they'd know they'd been charmed#or would react negatively towards it#and Ariadne had managed to get her pretty well on our side#so smashing might not be off the table#we had to wrap our session before we got to taking a rest for the night but uhhhhhhh 😏😏😏#for someone who's intensely rule-following my paladin appears to have a type and it's hot-headed rebel leaders#also my paladin is like a 6-foot aasimar like we've got some dame aylin bullshit going on#and this is a like 3-foot tall goblin
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BG3 diary: Underdark, part 1 out of ?
I am finally level 5! Leveled up after the big fight with the duergar (had to look up how to spell it) and spent a lot of time later sorting everyone's abilities and hotbars.
I am so, so broke. I spend all of my gold on filling out Gale's spellbook. I have about a thousand gold's worth of spells queued up but I have no gold to pay for them.
Clearly I'm not attuned to this game's manner of environmental storytelling, because I spent the entire Arcane Tower mildly confused and thinking "Is this going somewhere?" From the quest giver's description, I assumed that the owner of the tower had locked herself in there, but the place seems to have been abandoned for years. I had to read the wiki page about Lenore to have the story pieced together for me. I didn't realize all of the lightning equipment I'd been picking up had been made by the same person! (I'm already trying to plan how much of it is going to be worn by my lightning mage when I play as her.)
There's a bit of companion reactivity to the environment, but it doesn't feel enough:
Lae'zel has two lines when you first meet Omeluum and can explain the githyanki disc for you, but she doesn't have any further reactions to you asking an illithid for help and even drinking his dangerous potion. Does she hate all mind flayers no matter what? Does she respect him for breaking free? Does she resent him for still being nostalgic of his people?
Gale had a couple of lines about wizard towers. It didn't seem to interest him that the wizard was a cleric of Mystra.
Shadowheart was inspired by me destroying the moonstone that powered the defenses of the Selunite outposts, but didn't have a single line about anything in it.
Speaking of Omeluum: to end the quest and open the trading option, you have to accept the ring that, he says, is hiding him from the mind flayer hive mind. Does that mean we're putting him in danger? I tried to refuse the ring, but the quest just remains unfinished in that case.
The journal was clearly not programmed to account for the order in which I was doing things. I went to the Underdark via the Zhentarim hideout, did a bunch of quests there, and only then circled back and discovered the Selunite outpost. I had Lae'zel super-jump onto the wall and discover the waypoint inside, then teleported the rest of the party in. In the middle of the outpost, under the big statue, was the orange-bordered book that suggested where to look for the Nightsong next. To my surprise, there were no cutscenes or journal updates in reaction to that. Then I walked up to the far wall of the outpost, and the journal updated to say that the trail to the Nightsong went cold (when in fact the opposite just happened...) I clicked on the ladder there, and it made me climb up to the Selunite puzzle in the goblin camp which I had completely forgotten about, then updated the journal to say I found the way to the Underdark. And I couldn't exit, because the devs didn't put a lever on the inner wall. So now I am stuck in that room and can only go back down or teleport somewhere.
After that, I realized that I'll have to backtrack to the surface to do several things I've missed... I didn't do the temple puzzle; I didn't do the spider tunnels and the spider matriarch fight, and it seems like I can't get up there from the Underdark; I didn't find the mechanic for Karlach in the grove and I've no idea if he is still in there or already left with the tieflings; I now have the sussur bark for the masterwork weapon, whatever that's supposed to be. Oh, and I'll have to go to the creche eventually, but I thought I'd finish the Underdark before that.
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Sometime the best present is presence.
Hey y’all. Happy holidays guys, this is my participation in @toomanystoriessolittletime Christmas story challenge. I am not a super happy happy joy joy kind of a holiday person, so I hope maybe some of my fellow “I can’t handle forced holiday cheer” people can relate to this a little bit.
The prompt is with Henry Cavill and last Christmas by Wham.
Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC Ellie
Word count: 2600
Content warning, language, adult situation, the least smutty smut I could manage, talks of infertility treatment, pregnancy, depression, I’m sorry if I missed anything.
Picture found on google
There were two things that Henry knew for certain to expect from his lover once the Holiday season rolled around, the first was that he knew that their shared kitchen would almost always smell like sage and cinnamon, and that her depression would take a nose dive. This was going to be their fourth Christmas together and he was prepared. Every year since she moved over to the UK to be with him, Christmas Eve, they would go out and grab a pizza, come back to the house, and spend the evening watching Christmas movies in new pajamas. Henry would keep the hot cocoa flowing and the snacks supplied. Christmas morning, Ellie would make the most amazing breakfast, things from his childhood and hers, the three of them (including Kal) would open presents and the afternoon would be spent in Middle Earth with take out for dinner. Boxing Day was spent with his mom and dad. The break would be carefully planned for as few social obligations as possible.
Life was running full tilt in its normal chaos, Henry was filming for the next few weeks and Ellie went back to working on her novel. One of the techs on set told him about a game that he and his friends were planning on playing this holiday season. Henry looked up from his phone and asked about the rules. It seems simple enough. The game will be just enough of a distraction to keep her mind off the doctor’s appointment pending that he knew she was concerned about. And maybe his mum would come up for a couple of days to help keep her occupied. The matriarch was nothing, if not considerate of his partners mental health.
When he came home that night, the smell of her cooking hits him like a ton of bricks. The warm earthy scents of caramelizing onions, roasting garlic and he knows some kind of bird… it wouldn’t be duck. Is it Cornish game hens? But there are definitely potatoes involved as well. He swears that he can get some kind of hint of apple pie.
“Baby, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He asks as he comes into the warm kitchen. Out from the oven, she pulls out Brussel sprouts with thick batons of pork belly, seasoned with roasted garlic, and another serving dish of crispy potatoes was sitting on the counter. On the stove top, was a concoction of apples and onions, browning together in butter and fennel. On the table, making Kal ignore Henry all together, was a beautifully roasted chicken, spatchcocked on her favorite wooden cutting board, the skin was a deep golden brown. Had anyone else made that array of of food, he would have thought they were crazy, however he had thought that Ellie had the Force or something like it when it came to cooking. She could pull a bizarre array of foodstuffs together and create a hero’s feast. She had managed to turn instant noodles into a meal fit for a king before his eyes in their early dating months. Amazing meals were her super power.
Her face lit up as he walked into the kitchen. “Well, it was a good brain day.”
“I’m glad, my darling,” Dinner was set a few minutes later. Sitting together at the table, they dug into their feast.
“I will never understand how you can get the skin so crisp, but this meat is so juicy. What kind of witchcraft is this?” He asks after half the chicken has been picked clean by him alone. “And you have absolutely ruined me for other peoples sprouts, you know that right?”
Ellie leaned back in her chair, smiling like the cat who caught the canary. “I’m glad you like that, it was the last of my smoked pork belly though. Some time in January, I want to make some more again. Maybe cure my own bacon again.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Knowing that if she was planning on smoking other meats that he could probably talk her into smoking some ribs for him. “So speaking of good ideas. I want to challenge you to a game.”
“A game, you say? What kind of game?” She raised her eyebrow in curiosity.
“A survival game, the best kind of survival game in fact, because we can challenge our friends to it and this will go on in perpetuity.”
“Go on.” Looking at him like he’s going mad, but loving watching him get animated like this.
“It is called, wait for it… Whamagedon.” He says with the biggest smile.
“Whamagedon?”
“Yes, Whamagedon. Do you remember Rick Rolling? It is like that, but with the song “Last Christmas,” by Wham.”
“What are the rules?”
“I want to set a group text up, me, you, my brothers, fuck it we can even add Ben to it. Maybe even your sister. When we go out and about, the idea is if we hear the song we are out of the game. And the best part is after you are out of the game it is called Whamhalla and we can try to sabotage the others. And it can only be the Wham version.”
“It would get us in and out of the stores faster, probably.”
“I view that as a bonus.” He said leaning back, satiated by dinner and the idea he had been brewing all evening. “What do you say?”
“Sounds good to me, but we can not sabotage each other.”
“Absolutely not. Although I might make an Instagram post if I’m out of the game before Christmas Eve.”
“You are a chaotic goblin, you know that right?”
He just nods, his face is lit up like a child in on a secret. “Now what do you say if we go run ourselves a nice hot bath before bed. I feel like this cold is seeping into my old man bones.”
***
It was the beginning of December when Henry came home from the grocery store that afternoon, he heard the sobbing as soon as he dropped off the bags in kitchen. He rushed through the house to find her in the bathtub, Ellie was cradling her head in her hands. Kal whined, nudging her with his cold wet nose and slowly wagged his tail as she whispered, “I know bud, I love you too. Mommy is just sad today baby, it’s okay.”
Kal looked at his daddy in the doorway, he looked like he was trying to say ‘Dad, fix her.’ Ellie soon looked up too. The face he adored more than any others was puffy from crying. “I’m sorry hun, I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Elle, what happened?” he asked, sitting down on the floor next to her. Henry smiled a little at her, he planted kisses on the back of the hand that he held.
Ellie tilted her head down, and the tears started again. She said it so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her. “Miranda just found out she’s pregnant.”
“Your friend from back home?” Without looking at him, she nodded once. “Do you know how long they were trying?”
“They weren’t. She called me this morning and told me the news. She’s so happy, its all she’s ever wanted. And I really am so happy for her.” Her voice cracked again. Henry rubbed her back as she struggled to take a deep breath. “About two minutes after she hung up I started cramping like I’m about to start my period. I… I feel like I’m failing you. My body is failing you. I even do the fucking thing that I was made to be able to do.”
She started to sob, curling herself into a ball, and wrapped her arms around her knees. His heart ached for the woman he loved.
“My darling, my sweetling, you have not failed me. Your body has not failed me.” He lifted himself up off the floor, “I’m going to go put the things that need to stay cold away, and I will be right back.”
Moments later he was back and stripping off his clothes from the day. Elle gazed upon him in love and awe. “Get that water nice and hot again, I’m coming in.”
She started draining the currently tepid bathwater right away. Henry handed her cold bottle of her favorite beer, and had one for himself. She then stayed in the middle of the tub as he climbed in behind her. He dropped a lavender, chamomile and vanilla scented bath bomb between her legs as he settled in. She leaned back against his body, as her ran his fingers against her soft skin.
“What if I can’t give you a baby, Hen?”
“We could steal one. We will find a mummy with more kids than she can keep track of, and I’ll drive the car by really slow and we will lure one of them in with the promise of sweeties and puppies.” He teased her. The resulting giggle was worth the dark humor occasionally.
“I’m being serious, ya dick.” Her laugh was always magical to him. She took a long swing of her beer.
“Who said I wasn’t being serious. Would I love to have a mess of children, yes. However, I love you more than whatever hypothetical situation I’ve had before we met. You make me so incredibly happy.”
“Even on the bad days like this...”
“Yes, even on the bad days. Are you worried about going back to the clinic?” He kissed the back of her head. This would be the fourth round of IUI treatments. The shuddering breath she let out let Henry know he was correct. “We don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to.”
“If we are not successful this next time, I think I want to take a break from trying. At least for a while. I need to do something to help myself. I don’t think I can handle it on my own.”
“Okay, my love. We will get you the help you need.”
“I hope so. But in the mean time, I want to just spend the night being bummed out. Is that okay?”
Henry lathered up her wash cloth with her favorite smelling soap, getting the silk smooth suds down her back, tracing her shoulders and down her chest. “Does that mean we are having Chinese for dinner?”
“You know me so well.” She sighed, resting her head on him as he ran his hands up and down her body. She had stopped shaking but the tears still ran down her face. She nuzzled her face into his neck so he decided to rest his cheek on her head. He lovingly washed her body and while the water was still steaming she rolled over to face him. Straddled on his hips, she ran her hands over his body, leaning into giving him hungry kisses.
The love he poured into her was always returned to him. His body asked hers to show him how much she needed him, the tears on her cheeks this time were from pleasure as she came. He followed her into bliss shortly after.
“I need more of you,” he whispered between kisses. They drained the tub, and dried each other off with soft fluffy towels. He picked her up from her hips and carried her to the bed, placing her down on their bed. If the first session was strengthening their connection, this time was carnal pleasure. Throaty I love yous whispered to one another, sealed with passionate kisses.
Afterwards, still a tangle of legs and sheets, they placed an order for their favorite take out. The two cocooned themselves from the world until their dinner arrived. Ellie, although absentmindedly pushed her food around with her chopsticks, seemed alright for now.
My love, please don’t go where I can’t follow. He thought. Please, don’t push us all away while you suffer by yourself again.
***
Since the beginning of December, his plan worked. She would tease him about close calls. They would go in and out of stores as quickly as they could. The group chat they had going would go off sporadically and half the family was out within the first week. When he wasn’t working, he noticed that Ellie was sleeping more than normal, but he didn’t want to say anything to her. She sometimes wouldn’t text him back for hours if she took a nap in the middle of the day. Her publisher however seemed happy with the revisions they were making towards the high fantasy novel. Her second book would be published that coming spring. His mom had come up and visited, helping Ellie get some of the house ready for them to go back to Jersey until after the new year. They ran errands together, she helped Ellie with her annual purge for donations around the house, and generally just tried to keep her busy.
Their last day in London was also their appointment with the fertility doctor. Getting all set up in the exam room, Henry held her hand. A nurse came in to take a blood sample and made small talk. Very faintly in the back they could here Christmas music coming from the reception area. Henry could already tell that the next half an hour was going to drag, and Ellie’s hands were starting to shake harder from the anticipation. It was maybe ten minutes in when suddenly his lover groans in disgust.
“Well fuck...” She mutters. And then the lyrics of some of the music starts registering to him.
With a note saying, "I love you, " I meant it Now, I know what a fool I've been But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
“oh, of fucking course it plays now.” He chuckles at her. Henry starts to giggle a little bit. Seeing him lose composure, Ellie starts to as well. The giggle morphs into laugh then into hysterics. The two of them were cackling like hyenas when the nurse popped by in, wiping tears from their eyes and he knows one of them snorted.
“The doctor is running a little late, she wants you to get into this paper gown, she’s going to have to do a pelvic exam.” The nurse tells them quickly, dropping the items off, clearly not impressed by the two of them.
“I don’t I have had an exam for one of these before.” Ellie thinks out loud still laughing. She undressed quickly, throws on the gown and sits on the exam table. “We needed that laugh, though. I feel a little better.”
“Oh yeah, this has been stressful.” he nodded.
The doctor came in and did her formal greetings. “So I have a sinking suspicion but I want to take a look at you first.”
Henry politely averts his eyes while the doctor performs the exam, until she started talking again. “Well it looks like we aren’t going to be giving you the injection to stimulate your ovaries today, Ellie. The blood test showed that you are pregnant, I want to feel your uterus and yeah, you have a fetus in there. You are about three weeks pregnant. Congrats guys, you beat the odds.”
Ellie and Henry sat in the exam room in shocked silence until the doctor left.
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Come Find Me
Come Find Me
by rons-hermiones
Summary: Unplanned, Hermione is forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow due to her grandmother falling very ill. After being ignored by Hermione for weeks, Ron is determined to show her how much she means to him. Just before he gets the chance to tell her, Bellatrix Lestrange shows up with other plans for Hermione. Can Ron get to her before it's too late? (Ron/Hermione Half-Blood Prince AU)
Rating: M for language & dark themes in later chapters.
Chapter Eighteen
“It’s him.” Harry says for the second time in such a brief amount of time as he wiped the sweat off his brow.
Ron stands from his own bed and hurriedly makes his way to his friend, desperate for answers.
“Was she there? Did you see Hermione?” He asks before he can help it, mentally kicking himself for not checking to see if Harry’s alright. “Are you alright mate?” He hopes it doesn’t sound like an afterthought.
Harry waves him off, moving to swing his legs off the bed, “Hermione was there.” He admits after catching his breath for a moment.
“And?” Ron asked impatiently.
The chosen one shakes his head frantically from side to side, “he got angry with her. Really angry. I-” he pauses, “I felt it.”
“Why? Why was he angry?” Ron’s becoming panicked as well, his hands roughly grasp Harry’s shoulders as he rocks him back and forth.
The dark haired boy closes his eyes as an attempt to remember, “half blood,” he breathes, “she called him a half blood.”
And they both know Hermione’s the last person to have problems with such a thing, after all, Harry is one himself. It’s Voldemort who’d snap at such a statement.
“Blimey.” Ron says, hands slipping and going slack from their place on Harry.
They fall into a tense silence. The pair of them are breathing roughly as the consequences their best friend must’ve paid for such a thing. Harry, though, looks as if he wants to say more.
“Ron.” He starts rather shakily.
With round petrified eyes, the ginger looks to him, already afraid of what’s to come.
“She tried,” Harry pauses to clear his throat, “Hermione, she spoke to me.” It comes out more even than before.
“What?” He asks bewildered, unsure what else to say.
The Boy-Who-Lived, exhales, trying to calm himself down before speaking. “This thing between me and him, whatever it is, it works both ways.” It’s hard to explain something you don’t understand yourself.
“Meaning?” Ron’s voice doesn’t sound like his own.
“I didn’t even mean to,” he begins but Ron still looks puzzled. “Tap into his mind I mean, it was a theory really. Earlier when it happened, I was just concentrating so hard on Hermione about what he wants from her and suddenly I was there like I was in the room. I thought maybe if I tried again, it might work.”
“And it did.” Ron breathed, sounding hopeful, thinking that this could be a good thing, maybe Harry could figure out where she was.
“Ron listen,” the chosen one begins, seeming to have caught his friend's train of thoughts, “it was hard enough the first time, when it was an accident. It was near impossible the second time, Vol-” he pauses, “he could sense it, he tried blocking me.”
“So you can fight it.” The ginger argues, “wouldn’t be the first time, right?”
“I’m not an expert, I’m not even a legilimen. I only got through cause he was caught off guard, I doubt he’d let it happen again.” Potter was skirting around the real reason he wasn’t willing to try reaching out again. He wanted to spare the other boy the details.
“He wouldn’t expect you to do it again so soon,”
“Ron-”
“Maybe if Dumbledore or someone like Snape,”
“Ron!” Harry snapped, finally shutting him up.
Wide blue eyes meant guilt ridden green ones.
“Hermione, she paid for what I did. He didn’t like that I did it, made it worse when she figured it out and tried to take advantage of it.”
There’s a tense silence for a moment as Ron stumbles back and begins pacing the expanse of his room. “Paid for it?” His voice is shaking.
Harry sighs, “sometimes it’s like I’m in the room watching, but sometimes, sometimes it’s like I’m him,” their eyes meet before The-Boy-Who-Lived looks away in shame, “this time I was seeing it from his eyes. I could feel him, he was angry, more angry than I’ve ever felt, even before Hermione said something.”
“What did she say?” Ron asks desperately.
“She called out my name, said she didn’t know where she was then, Ron,” he paused nervously, “She said your name, told me to tell you something, she never got to say what.”
Tears stung the corners of Weasley’s eyes.
“It was so blurry but it was like I was him and one minute he was reeling from what she had said, the next thing I know, he was looking down at his foot. When things focused again Hermione was in a ball, crying in pain. That’s when I lost it.”
Tugging roughly at his hair, Ron flopped back onto his bed, resisting the urge to punch something. Instead, he buried his face in his hands trying to think of something, anything, to prevent him from being irrational.
“There’s one more thing.” Harry says quietly, barely audible.
His blue eyes snap from where they were buried in his palms, pleading his friend to finish.
“He said if it happened again, that someone was going to die.”
Fuck.
...
“Dumbledore told me you know,” Ron breaks the silence that’s been heavy in the hair for a half hour, “about those things,” he drops into a whisper, “horcruxes.”
Harry nodded, then opened his mouth to speak, until the redhead stopped him.
“I don’t think we should talk about it. What’s the use right? Only she knows how to destroy them anyway. I don’t wanna risk You-Know-Who cracking into your head and finding out we all know.” He rumbles.
Ron then notices the look of guilt plastered over his best mate's face at the idea of Voldemort finding out and punishing Hermione for it. Maybe even worse than punishment...
“Out of sight out of mind? That’s what they say innit.” Ron tries to lighten his tone but it’s hard.
Harry speaks after a minute, “yeah, you’re right. Good idea Ron.” He praises weakly, still a little ill at the thought of that playing out.
“I reckon we should go downstairs. They’ve had to have come up with something and we’re no use up here.” Harry can tell Ron’s trying to employ distraction as a tactic to keep his anger and guilt at bay.
Without a word, the chosen one stands, signaling to the door. As the pair venture from the attic, voices float up the steps, confirming the remnants of a plan being formed.
“Weasley you can get ahold of the logs down Gringotts can’t you?” Mad Eyes gruff voice asked Bill.
“Yeah.” He responded.
“I don’t see what that would do.” Molly protested.
“Those goblins down there will do anything for a shiny sickle Molly, but the magic in the building logs every transaction. It isn’t by name, but if there’s a big one we may be able to trace it. Could tell us if the Death Eaters are planning on moving somewhere.” Moody tells the group, “just being cautious!”
At this, Harry and Ron exchange befuddled looks before descending closer to the kitchen, where the noise was coming from.
“Where’s that letter that came for Granger yesterday? We better check it’s not a fake.” Moody said next.
Ron had just about enough. He wouldn’t let them check something so personal.
“You’re one to talk about fakes professor.” His voice broke out angrily, causing all heads to turn.
“Hedwig’s smart enough. She wouldn’t bring us something like that.” Harry justified his voice calmer.
“Oh dears, you’re awake, did you rest? Did the potions help some?” Molly asked fussing over her son and Harry.
The two boys exchanged a quick look. Harry thought it best to not inform them about connecting with Voldemort again. He was worried Dumbledore may not let him try it again or push him too hard. Both would result in pain, especially for Hermione.
“Yeah, it kept us down for a bit.” The chosen one settled for.
The Weasley matriarch offered a weak smile, “good, I’ll prepare you boys something to eat.” Neither had the heart to tell her they weren’t hungry.
Noticing eyes on them, Ron clears his voice, “if we found Dolohov, Lestrange, even any random snatchers, they could lead us to her. To Hermione.” It took all his energy to not let his voice waiver.
Next to him, Harry nodded in agreement.
“Death eaters like Dolohov and Lestrange, they’re not easy to find Ron. We’ve been doing double time since the Department of Mysteries, but we’re no closer than we were.” Kingsley informed quietly from a corner of the room.
“Well we have to start somewhere don’t we?” He retorted.
“We?” Bill repeated with a cocked eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Ron’s voice rose with anger,” Harry and I are helping anyway we can, with or without the lot of you.”
“Ron,” Molly turned from the stove.
“Mum, this is Hermione, so whatever you’re gonna say, save it. I need to do this,” he pleaded with her before turning to the aurors present, “I’ll do anything.” He states strongly.
Everyone stands silent for a moment until Dumbledore steps forward and eyes him carefully, “you can help by acting as if nothing has happened.” The old man decided.
“What?” Several voices sounded at the same time, those consisting of more than one Weasley, Harry, and even McGonagall.
“The plan right now is for everyone in the room to make everyone believe they are going on as they would. If Voldemort knows we are searching mercilessly for Miss Granger, he’s more susceptible to use her as some sort of leverage over Harry. Panic would only ensure her importance.” Albus looked to Harry, indicating to him about the Horcruxes with a simple look. “Until then, all possible leads will be checked quietly. Any snatchers or death eaters in question will be subtly investigated. From there, we can hopefully get leads on locations that may match what you saw Harry.”
At this, The-Boy-Who-Lived nodded in agreement. He even dared to spare a glance at Ron who appeared red in the face.
“It is my understanding that the Granger’s are to return from France after the New Year. Besides them, no one who is not within the confines of this house is to know of Hermione’s true reason for absence. Not even your classmates at school.” The headmaster looked at the pair of Gryffindors.
“School?” Ron spat, how was he supposed to just return like nothing happened?
“Yes Mr.Weasley. If we are to keep up this guise that nothing has occurred, you are to return to Hogwarts. If anyone asks, Hermione had a family emergency so she’s at her home in London.”
“Rubbish!” Ron exclaimed, stomping out of the room before Dumbledore could go on any further.
Instantly, Harry stumbles after him.
Albus’ lips pulled into a thin line before he turned to Bill, “I feel it’s best that you and your brothers are the ones to inform the Granger’s. I have no doubt both Ron and Harry feel they should deliver the news and you’re the best man to escort them.” It was unsaid, but the Granger’s would be most comfortable with Bill, having met him prior, being on occasion he’d retrieve Hermione to floo.
And to everyone’s shock, Molly simply nodded in agreement, knowing Ron would want it to be this way.
“Perfect,” Dumbledore said, “now shall we discuss current leads in Azkaban?”
Elsewhere, Ron and Harry had stepped outside for a breather. The air had become too stiff at Dumbledore’s plan for them to return to Hogwarts.
Neither has said anything yet, instead just inhaling the cool winter chill, hoping to ease the tension working its way through them.
“Do you reckon they’ll let us go to the Granger’s?” Harry almost whispers.
Ron’s head snaps over to his eyes wide.
“That’s what you want isn’t it?” The chosen one asked. Harry knew he wanted to go, felt it was his duty.
“It’s not really a question Harry, I’m going, you’re going. End of story.” The ginger said surely, “anyway, if they wanna ship our arses back to Hogwarts, then you can bet they won’t say anything about us heading to London.” Ron knew taking Harry to frolic around the city probably wasn’t wise, but he also knew he could use a visit to the Granger home as a bargaining chip to agree to attend school after holiday.
“It’s not a terrible thing you know, going back to Hogwarts.” Harry says, not completely believing the statement himself.
“How’s that?”
“Well surely we’ll have more access to books, for research,” the dark haired boy can’t help but smile at the words, Hermione would be proud, “you’ll also have time to get things sorted, so that way when Hermione comes home you’re set.” He said the second part stiffly.
“Get things sorted? What things?” Ron pushed, the statement bewildering him.
“Well uh,” he gulped, “Lavender.”
Suddenly, Weasley’s entire body tensed, “right, well, I handled that on the train.” He mumbled.
Harry shook his head, “I know how you feel, but Lavender she’s a bit uh, persistent. I just mean now you’ll have the chance to really show her it’s done without Hermione scrutinizing the whole thing.”
Ron pulls his lips into a thin line, Hermione’s disappearance somehow weighing heavier than before, “I still wish she was around though. I’d honestly have her the way things were then not at all.” He admits almost shamefully as he picks on a loose thread on his jumper.
“I know,” Harry agrees softly, “it’s killing both of us that we can’t fix this and get her back, so what I mean is that if you can fix one thing, then do it Ron. For her.”
He nods in agreement, looking at snow topped hills, eyes briefly meeting the worn oak tree. At the sight, a cry builds in this throat, but he soon swallows it.
“For her.” He whispers to no one in particular.
#ron x hermione#ron weasley#ron and hermione#rons-hermiones come find me#hermione granger#romione fanfic#romione#hp#hp fanfic#sixth year
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Death eaters were dying. They weren’t being spent on his goals, they were having very suspicious “accidents.” “Catastrophes.” Apparently being “randomly” targeted in “violent acts.”
In short, the self styled dark lord was losing his minions to activities that his minions should be performing. Not falling victim to. Worse, he had no idea who or what was getting them. Possible leads vaporized like smoke in the dark of a new moon. On the surface, the war was going extremely well for his side. He outright controlled the ministry, Severus had controlled Hogwarts, now the Carrows did...but they suspected McGonagall held the wards. When Severus died she also disappeared. One of their spies had tailed her to the seventh floor where she vanished and hadn’t been seen since. But the school itself wasn’t cooperating. The daily prophet and WWN were mere mouthpieces for he and his minions...and yet a full 50% of his marked forces were either dead or had vanished. Not ran, he would know thorough their marks. They were gone. He fully suspected they were dead, but had no evidence beyond suspicions. When he first noticed his agents were going quiet he thought that the Order and/or Potter had gotten lucky a few times. But as his losses mounted at an alarming rate he knew there was a new player on the field. One he didn’t even have a name of. Death eaters were afraid to walk down Knockturn Alley! They owned that alley for longer than their movement had existed, and somehow, now, if they were in the open their heads may explode without an apparent curse having been fired. Fenrir went that way when he thought to make an example of a child that had ventured too near the Diagon Alley entrance. Others were found dead in the shadows without a mark upon them beyond a look on their face of surprise or shock. Initially the killing curse was suspected but St Mungos said they, to a man, had had their necks expertly broken. They weren’t all even in their Death Eater garb. The Parkinson matriarch was last seen in an evening gown for a ministry gala. Poof. Gone. Severus was killed in an apparent dragon attack through the window of the headmasters office. But nobody saw or even heard a dragon. But what else could burn that hot? He had to find out what was going on. And soon. The true scope of the losses only he knew but it was getting hard to conceal. Only their fear of his wrath has kept them from asking too many questions.
It reminded him of events from September of ‘79 to his unfortunate sabbatical in October of ‘81. By all appearances the war was going well then too. The light thought that they were on the ropes. But his forces were being worn far too thin by eerily similar occurrences. He had to track this menace down.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
From her “nest” in a bell tower 2000 yards from Knockturn Alley, Emma Granger quietly cleaned her rifle and contemplated the last year. Her husband Dan was quietly making his way back after dispatching his last two “appointments” for the day. Their having “awoken” from an unscheduled vacation in Melbourne has thrown both of them for a loop. For all their Spec-ops training they were both blindsided by their own daughter erasing their memory. They hadn’t seen it coming at all. Apparently they’d been living the life of a pair of mild-mannered dentists for a couple of months already when a routine medical exam to her brought it all rushing back when the couple was asked about her internal scarring and if she had lost the baby. The 17 year old girl that they’d forgotten they had. Now, they had no idea where she was, but within 24 hours of recovering their memories they were back in country and were put in touch with the M division of the Organization and soon were looking at case files that both thought they’d put to rest 18 years ago. Three times this Riddle guy had nearly killed them both. Three times they’d defied the odds. The first they both believed to be random chance. After that they were on his radar and he didn’t like to miss. The last time had nearly caused Emma to miscarry, giving birth to Hermione nearly a week and a half early instead of the end of September. They started this campaign of eradicating him and his followers then until Halloween of ‘81 when Emma managed to put a bullet through his head as he stood in a nursery in Wales. She couldn’t get a shot before he’d killed two more victims that night. The only strange thing was the green flash she’d seen in her scope as her bullet made the journey. Seconds later his heat signature was just gone. Not on the floor and cooling as the adults were. Gone. She and Dan had been read in on the magical world that night. But since it wasn’t their area, they didn’t work it. Until now. Their daughter and future son-in-law Harry were right in the middle of this mess and both had disappeared. And Dan and Emma were going to find them. And soon.
A Thermite RPG into the headmasters office of the school killed Snape.
After the parents find the kids-The Horcrux in Bellatrix’s vault the goblins refuse to “help” with...they won’t let anyone not authorized into another customers vault. But they can certainly give a tour to potential customers. And if potential customers happen to be informed where Bella’s vault is for targeting information and it gets hit with a bunker-buster dropped through Borgin and Burke’s thereby incinerating the contents and melting them into a pile of slag that the goblins have really no problem recasting into coin... well so be it.
Yes. This long winded thing is a prompt. Sorry it’s so long. Use none of it. Use part of it. Use all of it. I don’t care, it just struck me today and I had to share it. Basically, Hermione (as in Canon) wants to protect her parents and Bolivia tea them and sends them away. She it basically the daughter in the movie “True Lies” and has no idea who her parents really are or what they’re capable of. September is the 7th month of the Roman calendar and I think I also came up with enough to throw the prophecy into ambiguity that it could even be Hermione that is the chosen one. And NOBODY knows it.
Have fun with it.
submitted by @harmonyeveryday
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Adventure In Stormheim Part Five: Hello Orgrimmar.
**Sylvanas story set during legion, I do not own this character but I do own the OC. This might be part of a series of adventures when Sylvanas is off on her own either heading to or coming from missions. Possible AU. This story will soon take a new turn as it leaves the broken isles. This story will take on a new title soon but im not sure, it takes a new turn for new adventures. They will probably be in Orgrimmar for awhile so the title may change to fit the new adventures.**
Summary: Sylvanas is called to Orgrimmar and takes Luthiene with her, she feels out of place at first as the culture is so different in the Horde capital. We also find out a little more of her background when Sylvanas has a talk with her.
The warmth of Orgrimmar was new to the small elf when the airship reached its destination. Luthiene liked the ride as she had never been on an airship before and loved the feel of the wind in her long red hair, her ears twitched when she heard Sylvanas speak to some of the Dark Rangers. “I am taking the girl with me, she is my responsibility.” They merely nod and depart as Sylvanas approached, “This is Orgrimmar little Ranger, it is where you will be staying for awhile if you choose to.”
Luthiene nodded, she wasn’t sure she liked this red and brown desert but she wanted to stay by the Warchief’s side. Sylvanas had taken the time to explain her role in the horde as their leader, she also explained her role as Dark Lady of the Forsaken and added, “If you stick close to me at all times, I may take you to the undercity.”
“You have alot of jobs,” Luthiene said as she packed her supplies which included, water, snacks, hunting knife and her bow and quiver.
“I do, I take them very seriously so I may not be able to spend as much time with you, you do get a chance to see some of the leaders of the horde and meet them. Please be on your best behaviour.” Sylvanas said in a tone that was more of an order than a suggestion, the little elf nodded. I wonder if there is places I can explore? She wondered to herself. She looked out at the dry looking place she would call home for awhile and sighed, “Doesnt look like there is much to do.”
“You say that now, lu lu but I am sure you will find something, I only ask you be careful and take a ranger or two with you understood?” Sylvanas had taken the girls chin into her hand gently so that her azure eyes met the banshee’s ruby gaze.
“I will...” Luthiene sounded annoyed at that, she was starting to feel like her friend was turning into a mother. She had what she considered a mother once but that was long ago.
The Banshee Queen and little ranger both exited the ship and rode to the gates of Orgrimmar, it was a large imposing gate with metal spikes that made the near thirteen year old gulp nervously. She looked to Sylvanas who nodded reassuringly, “you will be fine young one” She nudged her undead horse forward and rode into the city, it was bustling and dusty, and there was more red and brown tones. The little girl moved her horse closer to Sylvanas’s own and felt a little more at ease.
The bustle and shouting were from goblin merchants trying to sell their wares, booming tauren voices saying that some of the items were overpriced. Orcs were telling war stories while trolls tried to sell their trinkets, she also saw blood elves as they were called elegantly navigating the crowds as though in a dance, and forsaken hobbling through the streets, cursing the intense heat. The crowds did part for their Warchief and the strange Quel’dorei child riding next to her as they made their way to Grommash hold. Sylvanas helped Luthiene off her horse then ushered her inside, she could see the girl getting overwhelmed, I knew this would happen, she sighed. The girl clearly was not used to this many people in one setting, sylvanas placed two gauntletted hands on her shoulders, “you did good today, I am going to meet with the leaders today, do you think you can handle it?” She asked expecting a no but luthiene only nodded, “You are a brave and bold one I will give you that, should you feel overwhelmed squeeze my hand got it?” Another nod, “I know you can handle this.”
“Thank you, if you have time, can we go horseback riding?” She asked.
“Perhaps, if everything goes to plan. Now come, you will see how the warchief conducts her business,” Sylvanas motioned for her young friend to follow, is she a friend now? Sylvanas asked herself. Friends were not easy to come by and she barely trusted anyone but Luthiene was an innocent girl who was lonely and looked up to her, her opinions and views were not shaped by horde or alliance. She likes me anyway, I guess I do have a friend in her. Sylvanas felt a pain in her chest and made sure the child did not see her wince.
Luthiene took Sylvanas’s hand and looked into the older woman’s eyes, so trusting...naive...innocent...this made the Warchief want to protect the girl with all she had even if she did not openly express it.
The two elves entered the room where the different racial leaders waited; Lor’themar Theron, Lady Liadrin, Baine Bloodhoof, Varok Saurfang, Gallywix, Rokhan, and Ji Firepaw. They all awaited her to sit and start the meeting, “this is my little assistant, Luthiene, she wanted to see how things are run,” Sylvanas explained. They all nodded and at once Lady Liadrin spoke up, “Warchief, I wanted to update you on the growing situation in Suramar, there seems to be a rebel faction within that will work with us, we just have to help them liberate Suramar.”
Sylvanas nodded, “these nightborne? What are they like? I hear they have a wealth of arcane knowledge.”
“They do, if we help them out, maybe they can become our allies,” the Blood Knight Matriarch suggested.
“They would be a great boon in our fight against the Legion, work on this, I will send what rangers I have see that you offer any support you can.” Sylvanas thought of the farstriders, her dark rangers, and the blood knights, yes they could be useful allies, “Help them in anyway you can.”
“Yes, Warchief, it will be done,” Lady Liadrin’s dedication to the horde and the Sin’dorei was admirable, Sylvanas also liked her straight to the point, no nonsense attitude.
Baine then spoke up, “the Highmountain Tauren could be of some use as well, they are strong and know the surrounding area well, however my scouts report they are embroiled in some conflicts that might be legion influenced, with your permission I would like to send aid to them.”
“Their strength would be a useful arrow to my quiver, you have my permission. Should they choose to ally with us, let me know,” Sylvanas’s authoritative voice was more of an order again than a request.
“Thank you Warchief, I will set out for the broken isles when the next sun rises,” the high chieftain saluted her dutifully and waited for anyone else to speak up. When no one did they were all dismissed, as they filed out they caught a glimpse of the girl squeezing the Warchief’s hand, clearly she was feeling a little overwhelmed by all of this.
“Seems the warchief made a new friend,” Saurfang observed.
“Where did she find that child?” Baine asked inquisitively.
“I wonder if her parents know whos she's with,” Lor’themar said warily, he did notice the girl seemed relaxed in Sylvanas’s presence.
“I think if the warchief wants us to know she would tell us,” Lady Liadrin said hinting that they should stop their gossip and do their duties as assigned.
Sylvanas waited til they were all gone and pulled luthiene in her lap, “wasn’t so bad was it?”
Luthiene did not answer instead she buried her head into Sylvanas’s shoulder and cried.
“What is wrong?” the concern was now evident in the banshee’s eyes.
“I feel alone here, its so big and...lo-lots of people...” she said between sobs.
“You are not alone, you are with me, you are safe child. I understand it must be daunting, I have seen you handle worse...why don't we go ride horses, Azshara lies north of here, trees, hills, an ocean...sadly there is also naga but I think you can handle it.” Sylvanas rubbed the girl’s back and kept a low tone, she should have known such a culture shock would affect even the strong heart of her little ranger.
“I haven't felt this safe since...” luthiene grew quiet for a moment, she didn’t know if she should divulge yet.
“You can tell me, I will not tell anyone, I promise,” Sylvanas wanted to know more than anything about this girl’s background and what she was doing in Stormheim of all places.
“I won’t tell you everything yet, only that I had caretakers my real parents are dead, they found me and looked after me for awhile but..then those demon things came and killed them.” Luthiene explained a little but not too much, she wasn’t ready to reveal what she could remember, she had been told of her heritage and what her parents were trying to escape, they also told her of the scourge invasion but bits and pieces were missing.
“Fair enough, I will not pry further, now come on, lets get our horses,” Sylvanas wiped the tears from her eyes and lead her to the stables, the girls first day in Orgrimmar was sure eventful.
To be continued.
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Movies of 2020 - My Pre-Summer Favourites (Part 2)
The Top Ten:
10. TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG – Justin Kurzel has been on my directors-to-watch list for a while now, each of his offerings impressing me more than the last (his home-grown Aussie debut, Snowtown, was a low key wallow in Outback nastiness, while his follow up, Macbeth, quickly became one of my favourite Shakespeare flicks, and I seem to be one of the frustrated few who actually genuinely loved his adaptation of Assassin’s Creed, considering it to be one the very best video game movies out there), and his latest is no exception – returning to his native Australia, he’s brought his trademark punky grit and fever-dream edginess to bear in his quest to bring his country’s most famous outlaw to the big screen in a biopic truly worthy of his name. Two actors bring infamous 19th Century bushranger Ned Kelly to life here, and they’re both exceptional – the earlier half of the film sees newcomer Orlando Schwerdt explode onto the screen as the child Ned, all righteous indignation and fiery stubbornness as he rails against the positions his family’s poverty continues to put him in, then George MacKay (Sunshine On Leith, Captain Fantastic) delivers the best performance of his career in the second half, a barely restrained beast as Ned grown, his mercurial turn bringing the man’s inherent unpredictability to the fore. The Babadook’s Essie Davis, meanwhile, frequently steals the film from under both of them as Ellen, the fearsome matriarch of the Kelly clan, and Nicholas Hoult is similarly impressive as Constable Fitzpatrick, Ned’s slimily duplicitous friend/nemesis, while there are quality supporting turns from Charlie Hunnam and Russell Crowe as two of the most important men of Ned’s formative years. In Kurzel’s hands, this account of Australia’s greatest true-life crime saga becomes one of the ultimate marmite movies – its glacial pace, grubby intensity and frequent brutality will turn some viewers off, but fans of more “alternative” cinema will find much to enjoy here. There’s a blasted beauty to its imagery (this is BY FAR the bleakest the Outback’s ever looked on film), while the screenplay from relative unknown Shaun Grant (adapting Peter Carey’s bestselling novel) is STRONG, delivering rich character development and sublime dialogue, and Kurzel delivers some brilliantly offbeat and inventive action beats in the latter half that are well worth the wait. Evocative, intense and undeniable, this has just the kind of irreverent punk aesthetic that I’m sure the real life Ned Kelly would have approved of …
9. JUST MERCY – more true-life cinema, this time presenting an altogether classier account of two idealists’ struggle to overturn horrific racial injustices in Alabama. Writer-director Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12, The Glass Castle) brings heart, passion and honest nobility to the story of fresh-faced young lawyer Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) and his personal crusade to free Walter “Johnny D” McMillan (Jamie Foxx), an African-American man wrongfully sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman. His only ally is altruistic young paralegal Eva Ansley (Cretton’s regular screen muse Brie Larson), while the opposition arrayed against them is MAMMOTH – not only do they face the cruelly racist might of the Alabama legal system circa 1989, but a corrupt local police force determined to circumvent his efforts at every turn and a thoroughly disinterested prosecutor, Tommy Chapman (Rafe Spall), who’s far too concerned with his own personal political ambitions to be any help. The cast are uniformly excellent, Jordan and Foxx particularly impressing with career best performances that sear themselves deep into the memory, while there’s a truly harrowing supporting turn from Rob Morgan as Johnny D’s fellow Death Row inmate Herbert, whose own execution date is fast approaching. This is courtroom drama at its most gripping, Cretton keeping the inherent tension cranked up tight while tugging hard on our heartstrings for maximum effect, and the result is a timely, racially-charged throat-lumper of considerable power and emotional heft that guarantees there won’t be a single dry eye in the house by the time the credits roll. Further proof, then, that Destin Daniel Cretton is one of those rare talents of his generation – next up is his tour of duty in the MCU with Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings, and if this seems like a strange leftfield turn given his previous track record, I nevertheless have the utmost confidence in him after seeing this …
8. UNDERWATER – at first glance, this probably seems like a strange choice for the year’s current Top Ten – a much-maligned, commercially underperforming glorified B-movie creature-feature headlined by the former star of the Twilight franchise, there’s no way that could be any good, surely? Well hold your horses, folks, because not only is this very much worth your time and a comprehensive suspension of your low expectations, but I can’t even consider this a guilty pleasure – as far as I’m concerned this is a GENUINELY GREAT FILM, without reservation. The man behind the camera is William Eubank, a director whose career I’ve been following with great interest since his feature debut Love (a decidedly oddball but strangely beautiful little space movie) and its more high profile but still unapologetically INDIE follow-up The Signal, and this is the one where he finally delivers wholeheartedly on all that wonderful sci-fi potential. The plot is deceptively simple – an industrial conglomerate has established an instillation drilling right down to the very bottom of the Marianas Trench, the deepest point in our Earth’s oceans, only for an unknown disaster to leave six survivors from the operation’s permanent crew stranded miles below the surface with very few escape options left – but Eubank and writers Brian Duffield (Jane Got a Gun, Insurgent) and Adam Cozad (The Legend of Tarzan) wring all the possible suspense and fraught, claustrophobic terror out of the premise to deliver a piano wire-tense horror thriller that grips from its sudden start to a wonderfully cathartic climax. The small but potent cast are all on top form, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick (Netflix’ Iron Fist) and John Gallagher Jr. (Hush, 10 Cloverfield Lane) particularly impressing, and even the decidedly hit-and-miss T.J. Miller delivers a surprisingly likeable turn here, but it’s that Twilight alumnus who REALLY sticks in your memory here – Kristen Stewart’s been doing a pretty good job lately distancing herself from the role that, unfortunately, both made her name and turned her into an object of (rather unfair) derision for many years, but in my opinion THIS is the performance that REALLY separates her from Bella effing-Swan. Mechanical engineer Norah Price is tough, ingenious and fiercely determined, but with the right amount of vulnerability that we really root for her, and Stewart acts her little heart out in a turn sure to win over her strongest detractors. The creature effects are impressive too, the ultimate threat proving some of the nastiest, most repulsively icky creations I’ve seen committed to film, and the inspired design work and strong visual effects easily belie the film’s B-movie leanings. Those made uneasy by deep, dark open water or tight, enclosed spaces should take heed that this can be a tough watch, but anyone who likes being scared should find plenty to enjoy here. Altogether a MUCH better film than its mediocre Rotten Tomatoes rating makes it out to be …
7. ONWARD – Disney and Pixar’s latest digitally animated family feature clearly has a love of tabletop fantasy roleplay games like Dungeons & Dragons, its quirky modern-day AU take populated by fantastical races and creatures seemingly tailor-made for the geek crowd … needless to say, me and many of my friends absolutely loved it. That doesn’t mean that the classic Disney ideals of love, family and believing in yourself have been sidelined in favour of fan-service – this is as heartfelt, affecting and tearful as their previous standouts, albeit with plenty of literal magic added to the metaphorical kind. The central premise is a clever one – once upon a time, magic was commonplace, but over the years technology came along to make life easier, so that in the present day the various races (elves, centaurs, fauns, pixies, goblins and trolls among others) get along fine without it. Then timid elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) receives a wizard’s staff for his sixteenth birthday, a bequeathed gift from his father, who died before he was born, with instructions for a spell that could bring him back to life for one whole day. Encouraged by his brash, over-confident wannabe adventurer elder brother Barley (Chris Pratt), Ian tries it out, only for the spell to backfire, leaving them with the animated bottom half of their father and just 24 hours to find a means to restore the rest of him before time runs out. Cue an “epic quest” … needless to say, this is another top-notch offering from the original masters of the craft, a fun, affecting and thoroughly infectious family-friendly romp with a winning sense of humour and inspired, flawless world-building. Holland and Pratt are both fantastic, their odd-couple chemistry effortlessly driving the story through its ingenious paces, and the ensuing emotional fireworks are hilarious and heartbreaking in equal measure, while there’s typically excellent support from Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine from Seinfeld) as Ian and Barley’s put-upon but supportive mum, Laurel, Octavia Spencer as once-mighty adventurer-turned-restaurateur “Corey” the Manticore and Mel Rodriguez (Getting On, The Last Man On Earth) as overbearing centaur cop (and Laurel’s new boyfriend) Colt Bronco. The film marks the sophomore feature gig for Dan Scanlon, who debuted with 2013’s sequel Monsters University, and while that was enjoyable enough I ultimately found it non-essential – no such verdict can be levelled against THIS film, the writer-director delivering magnificently in all categories, while the animation team have outdone themselves in every scene, from the exquisite world-building and character/creature designs to some fantastic (and frequently delightfully bonkers) set-pieces, while there’s a veritable riot of brilliant RPG in-jokes to delight geekier viewers (gelatinous cube! XD). Massive, unadulterated fun, frequently hilarious and absolutely BURSTING with Disney’s trademark heart, this is currently (and deservedly) my animated feature of the year. It’s certainly gonna be a tough one to beat …
6. THE GENTLEMEN – Guy Ritchie’s been having a rough time with his last few movies (The Man From UNCLE didn’t do too bad but it wasn’t exactly a hit and was largely overlooked or simply ignored critically, while intended franchise-starter King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was largely derided and suffered badly on release, dying a quick death financially – it’s a shame on both counts, because I really liked them), so it’s nice to see him having some proper success with his latest, even if he has basically reverted to type to do it. Still, when his newest London gangster flick is THIS GOOD it seems churlish to quibble – this really is what he does best, bringing together a collection of colourful geezers and shaking up their status quo, then standing back and letting us enjoy the bloody, expletive-riddled results. This particularly motley crew is another winning selection, led by Matthew McConaughey as ruthlessly successful cannabis baron Mickey Pearson, who’s looking to retire from the game by selling off his massive and highly lucrative enterprise for a most tidy sum (some $400,000,000 to be precise) to up-and-coming fellow American ex-pat Matthew Berger (Succession’s Jeremy Strong, oozing sleazy charm), only for local Chinese triad Dry Eye (Crazy Rich Asians’ Henry Golding, chewing the scenery with enthusiasm) to start throwing spanners into the works with the intention of nabbing the deal for himself for a significant discount. Needless to say Mickey’s not about to let that happen … McConaughey is ON FIRE here, the best he’s been since Dallas Buyers Club in my opinion, clearly having great fun sinking his teeth into this rich character and Ritchie’s typically sparkling, razor-witted dialogue, and he’s ably supported by a uniformly excellent ensemble cast, particularly co-star Charlie Hunnam as Mickey’s ice-cold, steel-nerved right-hand-man Raymond Smith, Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery as his classy, strong-willed wife Rosalind, Colin Farrell as a wise-cracking, quietly exasperated MMA trainer and small-time hood simply known as the Coach (who gets many of the film’s best lines), and, most notably, Hugh Grant as the film’s nominal narrator, thoroughly morally bankrupt private investigator Fletcher, who consistently steals the film. This is Guy Ritchie at his very best – a twisty rug-puller of a plot that constantly leaves you guessing, brilliantly observed and richly drawn characters you can’t help loving in spite of the fact there’s not a single hero among them, a deliciously unapologetic, politically incorrect sense of humour and a killer soundtrack. It got the cinematic year off to a cracking start, and looks set to stay high in the running for the remainder – it’s EASILY Ritchie’s best film since Sherlock Holmes, and a strong call-back to the heady days of Snatch (STILL my favourite) and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels. Here’s hoping he’s on a roll again, eh?
5. THE INVISIBLE MAN – looks like third time’s a charm for Leigh Whannell, writer-director of my current horror movie of the year – while he’s had immense success as a horror writer over the years (co-creator of both the Saw and Insidious franchises), as a director his first two features haven’t exactly set the world alight, with debut Insidious: Chapter III garnering similar takes to the rest of the series but ultimately turning out to be a bit of a damp squib quality-wise, while his second feature Upgrade was a stone-cold masterpiece that was (rightly) EXTREMELY well received critically, but ultimately snuck in under the radar and has remained a stubbornly hidden gem since. No such problems with his third feature, though – his latest collaboration with producer Jason Blum and his insanely lucrative Blumhouse Pictures has proven a massive hit both financially AND with reviewers, and deservedly so. Having given up on trying to create a shared cinematic universe inhabited by their classic monsters, Universal have resolved to concentrate on standalones to showcase their elite properties, and their first try is a rousing success, Whannell bringing HG Wells’ dark and devious human monster smack into the 21st Century as only he can. The result is a surprisingly subtle piece of work, much more a lethally precise exercise in cinematic sleight of hand and extraordinary acting than flashy visual effects, very much adhering to the Blumhouse credo of maximum returns for minimum bucks as the story is stripped right back to its bare essentials and allowed to play out without any unnecessary weight. The Handmaid’s Tale’s Elizabeth Moss once again confirms what a masterful actress she is as she brings all her performing weapons to bear in the role of Cecelia “Cee” Kass, the cloistered wife of affluent but monstrously abusive optics pioneer Aidan Griffin (Netflix’ The Haunting of Hill House’s Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who escapes his clutches in the furiously tense opening sequence and goes to ground with the help of her closest childhood friend, San Francisco cop James Lanier (Leverage’s Aldis Hodge) and his teenage daughter Sydney (A Wrinkle in Time’s Storm Reid). Two weeks later, Aidan commits suicide, leaving Cee with a fortune to start her life over (with the proviso that she’s never ruled mentally incompetent), but as she tries to find her way in the world again little things start going wrong for her, and she begins to question if there might be something insidious going on. As her nerves start to unravel, she begins to suspect that Aidan is still alive, still very much in her life, fiendishly toying with her and her friends, but no-one can see him. Whannell plays her paranoia up for all it’s worth, skilfully teasing out the scares so that, just like her friends, we begin to wonder if it might all in her head after all, before a spectacular mid-movie reveal throws the switch into high gear and the true threat becomes clear. The lion’s share of the film’s immense success must of course go to Moss – her performance is BEYOND a revelation, a truly blistering career best turn that totally powers the whole enterprise, and it almost goes without saying that she’s the best thing in this. Even so, she has sterling support from Hodge and Reid, as well as Love Child’s Harriet Dyer as Cee’s estranged big sister Emily and Wonderland’s Michael Dorman as Adrian’s slimy, spineless lawyer brother Tom, and, while he doesn’t have much actual (ahem) “screen time”, Jackson-Cohen delivers a fantastically icy, subtly malevolent turn which casts a large “shadow” over the film. This is one of my very favourite Blumhouse films, a pitch-perfect psychological chiller that keeps the tension cranked up unbearably tight and never lets go, Whannell once again displaying uncanny skill with expert jump-scares, knuckle-whitening chills and a truly astounding standout set-piece that looks set to go down as one of the year’s top action sequences. Undoubtedly the best version of Wells’ story to date, this goes a long way in repairing the damage of Universal’s abortive “Dark Universe” efforts, as well as showcasing a filmmaking master at the very height of his talents.
4. EXTRACTION – the Coronavirus certainly has thrown a massive spanner in the works of this year’s cinematic calendar – the new A Quiet Place sequel should have been setting the big screen alight for almost two months now, while the latest (and most long-awaited) MCU movie, Black Widow, should have just opened to further record-breaking box office success, but instead the theatres are all closed and virtually all the big blockbusters have been pushed back or shelved indefinitely. Thank God, then, for the streaming services, particularly Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, the latter of which provided a perfect movie for us to see through the key transition from spring to the summer blockbuster season, an explosively flashy big budget action thriller ushered in by MCU alumni the Russo Brothers (who produced and co-wrote this adaptation of Ciudad, a graphic novel that Joe Russo co-created with Ande Parks and Fernando Leon Gonzalez) and barely able to contain the sheer star-power wattage of its lead, Thor himself. Chris Hemsworth plays Tyler Rake, a former Australian SAS operative who hires out his services to an extraction operation, under the command of mercenary Nik Khan (The Patience Stone’s Golshifteh Farahani), brought in to liberate Ovi Mahajan (Rudhraksh Jaiswal in his first major role), the pre-teen son of incarcerated Indian crime lord Ovi Sr. (Pankaj Tripathi), who has been abducted by Bangladeshi rival Amir Asif (Priyanshu Painyuli). The rescue itself goes perfectly, but when the time comes for the hand-off the team is double-crossed and Tyler is left stranded in the middle of Dhaka with no choice but to keep Ovi alive as every corrupt cop and street gang in the city closes in around them. This is the feature debut of Sam Hargrave, the latest stuntman to try his hand at directing, so he certainly knows his way around an action sequence, and the result is a thoroughly breathless adrenaline rush of a film, bursting at the seams with spectacular fights, gun battles and car chases, dominated by a stunning sustained action sequence that plays out in one long shot, guaranteed to leave jaws lying on the floor. Not that there should be any surprise – Hargrave cut his teeth as a stunt coordinator for the Russos on Captain America: Civil War and their Avengers films. That said, he displays strong talent for the quieter disciplines of filmmaking too, delivering quality character development and drawing out consistently noteworthy performances from his cast. Of course, Hemsworth can do the action stuff in his sleep, but there’s a lot more to Tyler than just his muscle, the MCU veteran investing him with real wounded vulnerability and a tragic fatalism which colours his every scene, while Jaiswal is exceptional throughout, showing plenty of promise for the future, and there’s strong support from Farahani and Painyuli, as well as Stranger Things’s David Harbour as world-weary retired merc Gaspard, and a particularly impressive, muscular turn from Randeep Hooda (Once Upon a Time in Mumbai) as Saju, a former Para and Ovi’s bodyguard, who’s determined to take possession of the boy himself, even if he has to go through Tyler to get him. This is action cinema that really deserves to be seen on the big screen – I watched it twice in a week and would happily have paid for two trips to the cinema for it if I could have. As we look down the barrel of a summer season largely devoid of big blockbuster fare, I can’t recommend this film enough. Thank the gods for Netflix …
3. PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to the truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all. It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering some deeply troubling answers. Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s veritable good luck charm Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two cents together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity. Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the young Kims contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically. But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon. This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head, to stunning effect. The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn which is at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon. This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away. Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with so far, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade. Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …
2. 1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed. Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed. The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of a film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that it’s impossible to tear your eyes away from. Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league. It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack). They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos. That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DoP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is totally immersive and simply STUNNING. I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same. Either way, this is the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I’ve had at the cinema this year (so far) – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …
1. BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number one right now is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen. It’s been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year so far getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it’s been done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than Wonder Woman). It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that this time round they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one hell of a talented psychiatrist. Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to. Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the supposed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about. Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what has to be the year’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, aka the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action heroine potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain. Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discovery her warrior origins when the DCEU gets around to introducing Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy. My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most truly inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a truly ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT. Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, aka the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (currently my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz. This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster yet – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms. It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!). It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists. Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date (Wonder Woman 1984 has got a MAJOR job ahead of it beating this one), and my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020 (so far). Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.
#movies 2020#true history of the kelly gang#just mercy#underwater#onward#the gentlemen#the invisible man#extraction#parasite#1917#Birds of Prey#birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn#awesome sauce
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The Shiitake Hills and Drake Lands - D&D Super Mario: Races and Setting Notes
So after the Mario and Luigi posts I did before, I wanted to sort of expand on this loose concept of ‘Super Mario as a D&D Setting’ that I’ve had kicking around while I was suffering from chronic online college. :P
Now, this isn’t a coherent post, this is just a bunch of notes of how I’d convert the general concept of Super Mario games and some races. This would probably need full on World Anvil in order to turn these loose ideas and concepts into a proper campaign setting. And this is under the premise that my would-be players would be outsiders coming into this setting either by plane walking or by travel.
But, hey, if this can be used as a springboard for others to use for their own campaign, then be my guest! I wouldn’t put it here if I so badly wanted to keep this private! But this’ll be a long post, so continue at your own risk.
The Shiitake Hills are the stand in for the mushroom kingdom. These long rows of Hills are home to various farm lands and small villages. There’s very few cities. Mushrooms are mostly cultivated for the consumption and export-you’d be surprised how many recipes there are for cooked toadstools. But rest assured, mushrooms aren’t the only foodstuff you’ll find, but their cultivation for food and magical components is so common that even the most ignorant of school child or even someone who’s never even seen a mushroom would know how to cultivate enough edible fungus to never miss lunch.
The capital of this kingdom is Toadstool City, a glorious city. It’s not perfect, but magic is practiced in the open-it’s regulated, but not too restrictive and controlling. So long as your not raising the dead or raising a stink, you can practice most forms of magic in relative peace.
The Shiitake Hills were founded originally by Elven Druids, who had left their original home in order to escape prosecution from another clan of Druids. On their sailing across oceans, they’d come across a community of Halflings, whom were under the rule of a tyrannical wizard. The Head of these Elven Druids would take on these Halflings as fellow refugees.
This trip lasted 1000 years, with 800 of them spent with the Halfling survivors. Their culture would meld together, to the point where there was no way of knowing what custom originated from which group, but it mattered not. Both sides had developed a mutual relationship.
When The Shiitake Hills were founded the family of the Head Druid would lead colonization of the land. They would also introduce the various Elven Gods that the Druids worshiped.
Avus, God of Fatherhood, Life, and Light. A father should be a guiding light for the family. To be strong and nurturing. A father who is not in their child’s life is often struck by Avus.
Mater Goddess of Fertility, Birth, and Motherhood. Avus’s wife and the reason he gained the ‘Fatherhood’ title. Preying to her is often done when an Elf is about to give birth.
Natus God of Knowledge, Teaching, and Fire. His legends speak of him being the original cultivator of fire, and gifting his spark of knowledge down to the Elves who worship him and spread it. Knowledge is never to be hoarded, it’s to be spread and shared.
Frater God of Strength, War, and Courage. When thunder booms, it means he’s fighting and he wants his followers to also be prepared for the heat of battle. Never fear death, for only glory waits for those who races into battle!
Soror Goddess of Sisterhood, Art, and Battle. The sister to Frater, she gives strength to her female followers to follow their dreams and passions, but to always have a knife at the ready to defend what’s yours.
Puer God of Tricksters, Brotherhood, and Nature. He teaches his followers to use nature to their advantage, to use ingenuity and wits to defeat larger foes, but to never use your trickery to back stab your brothers-in-arms.
Avanculus God of Wisdom, Harvest, and Water. Knowledge is knowing the best way to farm with new techniques. Wisdom is understand the old ways still work when they fail.
And the Matriarch of their Pantheon, Astrum, Goddess of the Sun, Moon, and Stars.
But over the boarder of the hills is The Drake Lands. The land was originally a beautiful Dwarven Kingdom of glorious mountains. But then, two dragons razed the lands, a Red Dragon and a Green Dragon, who used the mountains as a battle field! Fire and Poisonous gas drove out the Dwarves underneath. The mountains burned and the poison killed almost all other life that didn’t escape. Nobody knows quite who won this fight, but whatever the result was, the two dragons eventually mated and had a child that would make the ruined lands their domain.
This Dragon is known as Oghoid, A Lawful Evil God of Conquest, Battle, and Gold. His descendants would be known as the Royal Clan who would turn these barren lands into a somewhat liveable place.
The Dwarves would’ve raced to the Shiitake Lands as refugees. The Elves and Halflings welcomed the Dwarves. They integrated into society, but their culture is still regularly practiced. Dwarves keep many Gods, but they had no trouble also incorporating the Elf’s-what’s 1 or 8 more to the pile? The Dwarves also brought expert stone cutting and construction. Many constructions are built mostly or even entirely by Dwarven hands.
Boy, that was a lot, but time to get into the Races. And please not that I’ll label them as ‘Good, Neutral, and Evil’ races for the sake of convenience. You can take a Good Race and play them evil and vice versa.
Good Races - The typical Good Guys and regular residents of the Shiitake Hills.
The Humans of the Super Mario series are split into 3 Types for the setting: Normal-Types, Mario-Types, and Princess-Types.
Normal-Types are the New Donk City citizens we see in Super Mario Odyssey. These are Humans, no doubt having come from various traders from outside of the kingdom and might’ve stayed and become full citizens.
Mario-Types are Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi-oddly proportioned humanoids. For this setting, they’re Dwarves-yes, even Waluigi. He’s just an oddly tall Dwarf. It happens. Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are plumbers and have no trouble going underground and fixing things.
And finally, Princess-Types. Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline-oddly tall, and still have odd proportions, but look less like Mickey Mouse and more like Jessica Rabbit. They’re represented by Elves. Elves are usually in the upper class of Shiitake society.
Yes, they could all just be variant humans of some kind, but shush. :P This is suppose to be a big mass of races living on one continent and want to mix them all together.
Toads, if you couldn’t guess, are represented as Halflings. Why? Well, not only are they short, but what do we usually see Toads doing? We see them mostly in domestic roles, with only a few outliers. Halflings are mostly homely folk who want to be left in their homes and just enjoy their quaint lives.
Neutral Race - Not inherently Good Nor Bad, Just Folk
Yoshis in this setting will be played by Lizardfolk. I know that this is a pretty big stretch-Yoshis are cute and colorful and Lizardfolk are written as cold, calculating ‘survival of the fittest’ types. But I take the official text of WoTC as more like suggestions.
Evil Race - Typical Bad Guys and residents of The Drake Lands
So naturally, this sections will have Koopas, but how do we divide them? Well, I think there are 2 Types of Koopas. Regular Koopas and Koopa Rexes.
I percieve ‘Koopa Rex’ as essentially Bowser, his son, and the Koopalings-and maybe Boom-Boom and Pom-Pom, depending on how you see it. They would be Dragonborn.
Regular Koopas are essentially the rest. Koopa Troopas, Hammer Bros, Magikoopas, so on and so forth. They’re Tortles.
Okay, this is where I start to REALLY stretch the limits of what can be what...
Goombas will be classified as Kobolds. Why Kobolds? Well, honestly, I guess no real reason, but I think it makes sense for Bowser’s army to have the ‘Minion Races’ in the ranks.
Speaking of , Shy Guys are Kenkus in this setting.
And Boos, Goblins. Okay, this one, a bit of a stretch, but what do Boos do? They sneak up on you, right? Well, Goblins can use that tactic too!
Well, yeah, they could just be Ghosts. But, like, I hate using Ghosts in D&D. They’re too much of a pain in the ass to deal with. And, if you can’t tell, this isn’t meant to be a 1-to-1 thing.
And finally, the Bob-Ombs are Warforged-possibly one that you could give the ability to ‘selfdestruct’ upon defeat or something.
And that’s about the end of my notes. This took, like, two hours to write but I wanted to put this all down somewhere and here it is. Nothing here is final and if you wanna use any of it for any reason, go right ahead~
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Okay think with me.
You are transported into another dimension, turns out you are the missing daughter of some serious royalty and you’ve been set up to marry multiple men to join kingdoms. You’re pissed because you’ve been betrothed without your knowledge.
At your first introduction into the world you are in a village of goblins. Lovely people, they’re kind and they welcome you, you share everything and it feels like an instant family… but they have to break the news of your betrothal.
According to them it is only so that the kingdoms with have a combining matriarch. You get wealth land and resources and you just have to marry a few guys right? No kids necessary but during your travels you get to thinking and that leads to doubt and then you just feel like everyone just wants to dump their work on you and you don’t truly feel appreciated or loved or even wanted, but the longer you travel the better you get to know your goblin friend you met at the beginning.
They’re short, they get soft from how you fuss over them, making sure they eat and don’t get sick from staying up late to watch over you. They have these long sensitive ears, they’re glowing bright hopeful eyes, these wonky teeth pointing all over the place and they squirm when you fix their clothes or push back an out of place hair. They lean into your touch hold your hugs for blissfully eternal seconds longer than normal and they learn about human things like action, slang, behavior. You learn about their culture too, how they’ve been mistaken as thieves for their sharing nature and children wandering off to borrow witches brooms or selfie coats. The only thing you could bring yourself to dilute is that No matter what you feel, goblins only fall in love with the perfect person. And this eats at you because eyou truly felt enamored by them. They where kind, caring, involved hard working focused on you and yet even though you could marry all of these princes, you would never have the one person in the world you truly and utterly loved. when you have all of the kingdoms joined and you have one moment alone they find you crying.
You where trembling, tears like a fountain in the basin of your hands. Your shoulders slumped and your mouth couldn���t just stay in the normal stiff line. Your nose ran and you whimpered and it didn’t take long for them to find you thanks to their keen sense of hearing.
“Y/n?” They asked peering in through the barely opened door. “Y/n what’s wrong!” Their voice is hushed but filled with worry, almost pain as they see you there on your bed.
There was an attempt to hide your outburst of such an ugly emotion but they where quickly wicking away your tears, your face in their hands as they held their forehead to yours and they held you close
You held their shoulders. “How am I supposed to do this? I have to take care of all of these kingdoms, I could barely care for myself in the human realm how am I supposed to protect my people? I didn’t even know I had people until a year ago! I don’t know what to do, I didn’t exactly have someone to learn from. my parents didn’t protect me they just shoved me aside and plucked me back when it was convenient. What am I supposed to do? I’m screwed!” You whimpered.
They where shocked by your words after having seen everything you’ve done for their world “But you take care of everyone. You held your husband’s hands, listened to them, talked to them about how they could help each other and maintain peace and work as a team. You solved food and trading issues, you’ve built houses and started farms. How could you not do this?” They couldn’t see you give up after seeing how excited you where for this chance at a better life.
“Those where just simple things. You’re just saying that to be nice.”
“No such thing. I would never lie to you. You simply deserve to know you are perfect.”
“Why are you so sure? How could I be perfect?”
“I am telling the truth. It’s simple because youry a natural Y/N. Your parents where shitty yes, but you still defy all odds and act as an amazing leader. You defend your people, do whatever it takes to protect them and (while I don’t exactly encourage it,) you’d put your life on the line to save them. You are amazing in every sense of the word and you let a few dumb people make you forget that you are perfect.”
“How are you so sure?” You asked chancing a glance at them.
“We’ll…goblins can only fall in love with the perfect person.” His eyes are filled with adoration for you. They’re tender and soft and make you feel warm and loved and appreciated after having doubted yourself for so long. That’s probably why you felt so stupid. This entire time after not having a single fairy tale ending where you could live happily ever after with any of the princes you’ve been wed to, you realize you over looked your frog. Only this kiss simply showed you how princely there where and they lost nothing. Not their ears, Their cute uneven teeth, their big eyes or dumb smile. Now you had all of that to yourself. And that is not a loss in the least.
As you pull away you see their goofy grin, their eyelids drooping blissfully and their face burning brightly.
“I was wondering what the best way to kiss you would be my love.”
“What d you mean?”
“Well after dating all of this time, I was worried I made you unhappy. I don’t expect a simple reminder of how perfect you are to end so sweetly.”
“We’re dating?” It toon a few exasperated moments of explanation for you to realize they’ve been a showering you with nicknames, doting and flirting this entire time and at the end you both lie in a pile giggling incessantly and holding into each other tightly and happily.
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Favorite Reads 2017
2017 was, all in all, not the greatest year for books (for me personally). A few follow-ups to series-starters I loved disappointed me; there was a lack of new historical fiction that was truly compelling; YA was very hit or miss. But there are always exceptions to the years unspoken “rules”, and I found myself reading more thrillers than I had before. Maybe the bright side of my usual categories (I don’t know that they’re all genres) failing me is that I had to get a bit more adventurous.
In no particular order, my top ten favorite books of the year were as follows...
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. Rachel is an ABC--American Born Chinese. Smart, practical, and successful, she’s dating Nicholas Young, quite possibly the man of her dreams--but there’s a bit of mystery about him. So when Nick brings her to his family home in Singapore to attend his friend’s wedding, she’s shocked to discover that he’s the heir to a fabulous fortune, hailing from one of the most high-profile and wealthy families in Asia, or perhaps even the world. Everyone is out to break up Rachel and Nick, it seems; but especially his mother, the conniving and clever matriarch Eleanor. This is one of the most addictive books I’ve ever read, and the rest of the trilogy thankfully measures up. God, I was hooked; and it’s nothing like what I expected. There are vapid characters, sure, but this isn’t Gossip Girl--the book is wickedly smart, and Kwan seems to make great insights about “crazy rich Asian culture” without ever seeming sanctimonious. The characters are great--you root for Nick and Rachel’s romance while falling in love with his Machiavellian mother, and for that matter his tragic It Girl cousin Astrid. Unfortunately, this book has been categorized by some as trashy... and sure, at times it is. But it’s also one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.
Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones. In nineteenth century Europe, Liesl is a gifted composer. But she’s overshadowed by her brother Josef, a musician, and their beautiful sister Kathe. As a child, Liesl knew the Goblin King; and she meets him again as a young woman, stealing her sister away from the mortal world. Liesl makes a bargain with the Goblin King: if he returns Kathe, Liesl will become his bride. The Goblin King--enchanted with her music--whisks her away to his realm, creating a world of delights that’s hard for Liesl to resist. This book is basically everything a grown woman could want Labyrinth to be. Liesl and the Goblin King do have a captivating romance, but it’s not so much insta-love as I would say it’s a sexual awakening. I don’t think she’s starry-eyed; she’s more attracted to him physically, and experiencing the thrill of having someone return that attraction for the first time. So much of the book is about passion--the Goblin King’s passion for Liesl, their shared passion for her music, the Fair Folk’s passion in general for things that they can’t have. It’s a melancholy, haunting book with just the right side of indulgence to make it impossible for me to resist.
Final Girls by Riley Sager. After surviving a massacre that took all of her friends during a college cabin trip, Quincy is a part of what the press calls “the Final Girls”. Lisa survived a sorority girl slaying, while Sam was nearly murdered at the motel she worked at. But the three don’t really interact, as Quincy is determined to live a normal life. She doesn’t even remember what happened to her on the night of the Pine Cottage murders. That all changes when Lisa is found dead of a supposed suicide, and Sam shows up on Quincy’s doorstep. Quincy needs to remember what happened all those years ago--before it’s too late. This book is far from your run of the mill thriller, with unexpected twists and a feminist slant. It’s almost a satire of slasher tropes--except the plot is a bit too coherent for a satire, and everything is a little too real. I blazed through it, and wasn’t exactly sure of what happened until the very end.
Warcross by Marie Lu. Teenager Emika Chen makes her living as a bounty hunter--specifically, tracking down people who illegally bet on Warcross, the virtual reality game that’s taken the world by storm. Of course, Emika’s hacks in the game aren’t exactly legal either, so when she’s summoned to Tokyo by the game’s creator, billionaire Hideo Tanaka, she assumes the worst. But Hideo has a proposition for her: if she can find out who’s at the heart of a dangerous security glitch in the game, the payout will be huge. But as Emika competes undercover, she realizes that the stakes--personal and professional--are much higher than she thought. This is one of those books that really surprised me. You don’t have to be a gamer to follow “Warcross”--which also, surprise, has a great romance to go along with it--but the parts of the story that pertain to the game are just as compelling as the bounty hunting plot. What pleased me most, however, was the ending; nothing is as it seems in this book, and the characters are much grayer than you might imagine.
Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust. This retelling of Snow White focuses on the relationship between Lynet, our princess, and Mina, her wicked stepmother. Lynet is the living embodiment of her dead mother, and recently made the queen of the southern territories by her father--which displaces Mina, of the southern territories and devoted to her homeland. What Lynet doesn’t know, as we’re told the story of Mina’s past, is that she was made from snow by Mina’s alchemist father--who, using the same magic, saved Mina’s life by making her a heart of glass. Mina believes herself incapable of love, and despite her closeness to Lynet, she grows increasingly threatened by the girl. This fairy tale is decidedly dark--but it’s clear that this isn’t darkness of the sake of darkness. Rather, we see the good and bad in both Mina and Lynet, two women driven apart by the machinations of men--but perhaps not permanently.
An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson. The painter Isobel caters to a specific clientele: the fair folk. Incapable of “craft”, they treasure Isobel’s paintings, but are feared for their predatory and capricious ways. Isobel’s always been careful around the fair folk, but slips up when she paints the autumn prince, Rook, accidentally depicting sorrow in his eyes. This creates a great weakness for Rook, who takes her on a journey to the autumnlands, so that she can stand trial and dispel the notions of any mortality in Rook. Of course, there is the issue of their attraction to each other--because if a mortal and a fairy fall in love, their lives will be forfeit. This is a lovely fairy tale, with a romance that is much more hard-won and realistic than what I expected from the summary. While Rook is just as fanciful as you’d expect a fairy to be, Isobel has her feet planted in reality, and I love a story in which the main character really, really doesn’t want to fall in love. This book depicts the fair folk with just the right balance of fear and whimsy, and I dare you to read it without falling for the world.
Flame in the Mist by Renee Ahdieh. The daughter of a samurai, cunning Mariko is on her way to meet her betrothed, a prince. Along the way, her party is attacked by a group of bandits paid to assassinate Mariko--killing her servants along the way. Disguising herself as a boy, she infiltrates the bandits’ group--known as the Black Clan--determined to find who was sent to kill her, and get revenge. This retelling of “Mulan” takes on gender roles in a fantasy realm influenced by Japanese history, with Mariko standing as a strong female character, but also a girl. Renee Ahdieh is great at building these history-based fantasy worlds--and she’s not too shabby when it comes to the romance department, either.
Caraval by Stephanie Garber. Scarlett and Tella live a sheltered existence, dominated by their abusive father. Scarlett--the responsible one--has always dreamed of going to Caraval, the magical circus-like show that sucks the audience into the game. In an effort to make her sister relax, Tella takes Scarlett to Caraval, only to get swept up in its magic. The object of this year’s game? To find Tella. So Scarlett joins a host of people looking for her sister--but the line between reality and fantasy on the island is blurred, and Caraval may turn out to be just as dangerous as it looks. This is the sort of dreamy fantasy that is just delicious to read, especially during cold weather.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Unknown journalist Monique is stunned when she’s selected to interview the notoriously private movie star Evelyn Hugo, famous for her beauty, talent, and seven husbands. As Monique is drawn into Evelyn’s story, she becomes more and more curious about why Evelyn chose her, and who the real love of Evelyn’s life was. Evelyn is clearly based on Elizabeth Taylor in some ways, but the story is really all her own. While Evelyn’s tale is obviously more compelling than Monique’s, they satisfyingly come together in a way I didn’t quite expect. Really, at its heart this is a love story; but it’s also quite the piece of Old Hollywood glamour, with all the gossip and controversy that you’d expect.
The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo. This anthology of fairy tales is set in Leigh Bardugo’s grishaverse, but all take a little bit from those that you might be familiar with. They’re dark and sensual, some of them a little gory. But what really got me is that these are stories I can really see the characters from Bardugo’s other books telling. The world feels fully realized, the morals complex but solid and a little dated, but with reason. Read this if you want to be transported and a little spellbound.
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A Quest for Vengeance: “Memories”: A Short Story
Hey everyone! Time for another episode from my A Quest for Vengeance Series! In today’s episode both slavers and captives contemplate their positions and recall the lives they had before The Arena claimed them all.
(Distant Memories: Mirrodin Beseiged) (Art by Karl Kopinski)
Gather `Round! It’s Story Telling Time!
Marius stands upon New Phyrexia’s surface, boots against the alien metal ground and grass, and gazes upon everything the five suns illuminate. Lumbering, mechanical, sentient, hulks methodically tear down the remnants of an Auriok village and toss the scraps onto carts. Once upon a time humans, leonin, and loxodon lived happy lives here. Pretty soon every evidence that they once existed will be scraped off the ground and turned into fuel for the very war engines that wrought their doom.
Even one of these war engines could lay waste to Marius’ home garrison and hardly be worse for the wear. Spinning, flaying, gleaming, blades of death churn the wind as though it were in a rush to outcompete it. This creature was a mockery of what would be called on other worlds a wurm, a flightless and wingless dragon. Mockery isn’t the right word. No. Rather, all other wurms were a mockery to it. Coils of metal, living, muscle churned like waves over the ocean, even while at rest. This…this… Wurmcoil Engine would be worshiped as a god on planes across the multiverse.
(Wurmcoil Engine: Scars of Mirrodin) (Art by Raymond Swanland)
This was but one Wurmcoil Engine. Phyrexia had at its command thousands upon thousands of these creatures. Among their assorted varieties of death bringing armies, the Wurmcoil Engines are but one kind of unit. Marius had heard that Mirrodin was a lost cause. But he wasn’t prepared for this. In his mind, a ‘lost cause’ was an uphill battle that could still be fought. He was wrong.
He was told that Mirrodin had been invaded and overrun by horrors from within. Which, in truth, was little different from what Emrakul did to Innistrad. But this…? This wasn’t an invasion. Mirrodin hadn’t been overrun. No… it had been brushed aside like a stray particle of dust on an expensive jacket. Insignificant.
Marius awakes in a cold sweat, trembling, eyes wide and frantic, and finds himself in a dimly lit cell and a collar around his neck. As his eyes focus to the dark surroundings he sees a figure on a pile of hay in a corner of the room. Marius reaches for his sword, tries to call upon magic, but neither are available to him. That creature sleeping on the heap of hay is a Phyrexian.
The Phyrexian stirs and lifts its snouted head, steely strands of hair covering up the spots one would naturally assume its eyes would be. “Marius. You are unwell. What is wrong?”
All at once Marius’ recent memories return to him. Zerriko’s invitation to Theros to join his team of planeswalkers to fight against Heliod. The fight with Thaclel in the arena. Capture at the hands of Snatcher and his crew. Relocation to this cell from the dungeon where they had previously been kept. Marius squeezes his eyes shut, runs his hands through his shaggy brown hair, and breathes deeply.
Thaclel sits up, her unreasonably long slender arms draped over her knees as she reclines against the wall. “You dream of Phyrexia.” She says. Not a question, a statement.
“Not a dream…a nightmare” Marius replies still calming his breath as he backs up against the wall beside his cot. “
“Phyrexia and nightmare. The letters vary but the meaning is the same.”
“Do you dream of Phyrexia?” Marius asks.
For a moment Thaclel is silent, turning her face out toward the hall. After several more seconds she responds, “Yes, Marius. I dream of Phyrexia…”
Marius, finally calm, lets himself fall onto his back on his cot. Arms crossed behind his head and staring at the ceiling, he asks. “Do you miss that place?”
“No.” Thaclel replies immediately. “I do not. Phyrexia has fallen and the Ineffable is a failure. I have no home now. No family.”
“What do you mean?” Marius says, propping himself back up on an elbow. “What about New Phyrexia? That place where Mirrodin-“
Thaclel stands up, like a bolt, and approaches Marius, bringing her face up to his far too closely for the human’s comfort. “What New Phyrexia? Are you telling me there is another?”
Marius realizes the depths of his mistake in mentioning it and stammers for a moment, trying to think of what to say, when Thaclel continues, “Answer the question, Marius.”
“Yes! There is a place called New Phyrexia. I- I thought you knew about it.”
Thaclel walks back over to the other side of the cell, presses her back against the wall, and slides herself down with a sigh. “I thought Phyrexia was gone, Marius.”
“You’re not thinking of going there are you?” he asks sliding himself to the edge of his cot. “I should not have mentioned it…”
“If there is a New Phyrexia I must go and see what it is like without the Ineffable guiding it with his hate-filled heart.”
Marius stands up and sits down on the floor beside her. He presses his hand against her shoulder and says, “Don’t go, Thaclel. That place offers nothing but evil. They exterminated the entire plane’s populace. Literally nothing is left of the world once known as Mirrodin.”
“It is something Phyrexia has dozens of times, Marius. How is this different?”
“Because you don’t deserve to see what is become of your heritage!” Marius snaps. “The person sitting here beside me, you Thaclel, has earned for themselves a life beyond Phyrexia. You don’t have to follow the path that others have laid out for you. You are defined as the person you choose to be, not as the person you are told to be. And you have chosen to be your own woman. Not Phyrexia’s.”
Thaclel taps one of her enormous blade-like claws against her needle-like teeth, considering his words. “Perhaps you are right. Perhaps it is the Ineffable’s persisting influence that yet draws me toward it. Understand Marius…I have to go see it. But perhaps…perhaps I do not have to stay. We shall see.”
Tom-Tom walks around the outside of The Arena, running his hand along its smooth granite exterior. Every morning for the past eight years he has made this journey. Already there is a footpath well beaten into the sandy dirt along the building. Neither of the two suns ever set, but rather they sink low enough along the horizon that the illusion of sunrise and sunset gives Tom-Tom a chance to go outside and clear his mind. When he first came to this place it was as an engineer. The Matriarch had found him and instantly realized his genius. Within days of meeting with her, he already had his own private workshop.
‘I have given you all that you will need to cultivate your talents. But you have always been exceptional. This is your chance to prove it to yourself. Make me proud, little goblin.’ She had said when she handed him to keys to his workshop. Hers was the only voice he had, and has, ever heard, for when she spoke it was directly into his mind. And true to her promise, there had never been anything that Tom-Tom asked that he had not been given. Over the years, Tom-Tom had invented a great many marvels and sent them to his family. Now the village where he was born was a font of prosperity. His people had proper schools. Advanced agriculture and healthy livestock. Steady supplies of clean water. They had medicine and electricity. And every little goblin born with a disability was given everything they needed to become the person they were meant to be. The blind were given eyes, the deaf ears, the underdeveloped the time, space, and technology to fully come to live.
The somber goblin walking along The Arena exterior still remembered that days before all that. Goblins were born into a harsh world. Enemy tribes, hunger, disease, thirst, wild animals, even the weather and climate all limited who they could become. Though born deaf in that harsh world, Tom-Tom knew that he needed to endure. Out of spite. That awful world had deprived his people of so much potential. Tom-Tom needed to prove to his people that there was hope. And then the Matriarch came and offered him that chance. Already Tom-Tom had made great strides in improving the lives of everyone in his village. All The Matriarch did then was give him the tools and supplies to make his world a better place.
In return she only asked that Tom-Tom give her the blueprints and schematics to all of his inventions, designs, and discoveries. A fair exchange. Many times Tom-Tom had been given leave to visit his home. And each time he went he saw how much his whole world was improving. When it all began, only his village was given the boons of his creations. Now, his whole world was changing. It was all because of him. How many lives had he saved? How many people had he given a second chance to? There are many ways to fight for those who feel weak or feel they cannot fight for themselves. Tom-Tom had found a way to enable those people. To show them and give them the tools to fight for themselves.
At first his people tried to offer him parades and statues in his honor. But Tom-Tom turned it all down. All Tom-Tom wanted was to visit the hospitals and see the newborns. Inside each and every child brought into his world was the potential for something great. For someone who could make a change in the world. That was all Tom-Tom wanted. To give them a chance to be the person they were meant to be.
Tom-Tom is bumped out of his thoughts at he walks into the door to The House. Dominique was making breakfast. The goblin takes a deep sniff. Maple sausage, buttery biscuits, and scrambled eggs. Yum.
Ellis stares at the food on his plate with suspicion and at Kheve, who seems content to eat his meal at a leisurely pace.
“What kind of slavers feed us this?” Ellis asks, ignoring the rumbling of his stomach. “This kind of breakfast is far too good to be given to us. How can you eat it so calmly?”
Kheve, lounging on his cot and munching on a sausage link shrugs. He swallows his bite and says, “You were out cold while they had you under that net thing. But in the meanwhile they fed me some reasonable stuff. A stupid thrull had to feed it to me. But this? So good. And I get to eat it with my own hands. Win-win.”
“But we’re still captives, Kheve!” His stomach growls and Ellis glances at the breakfast before him with mixed feelings and watery eyes. “What’s the good news?”
“Well. You can be a captive and go hungry…or you can be a captive and enjoy a good meal. Either way, as soon as we bust out of here, we’re not gonna be captives anymore.” Kheve takes a spoonful of scrambled eggs into his mouth and says around it, “I choose to be a not-hungry-soon-to-be ex-captive.”
That was all the convincing Ellis’ pride needed to step aside.
“Calm down there.” Kheve says a few seconds after Ellis starts. “You look like a juvenile Sand Wurm over there, swallowing whatever’s in your mouth before you even notice something’s there.”
Ellis finishes his mouthful then gives Kheve a toothy smile. “Sand Wurm? Please. More like Sand Dragon.”
(Greater Sandwurm) (Art by Steven Belledin)
“There are no much things as Sand Dragons, Ellis.”
“Are too!”
Kheve sets down his fork and crosses his arms. “Prove it. Name a plane you’ve been to where there are Sand Dragons.”
“I will.” Ellis says around a mouthful of food. “As soon as we escape this stupid place.”
“Where do you wanna go once we get out of this place?” Kheve asks, now somber. “Like…is there somewhere you can go back to?”
As though struck with a bolt of lightning, Ellis cringes and sets down his now nearly empty plate. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Kheve.”
“I was born on Arangar.” Kheve says, ignoring Elli’s tone. “But I don’t wanna go back. The people with whom I was raised and with whom I fought for turned out to be bad people with a bad agenda. I don’t want to see what has become of their plans. Plans I inadvertently perpetuated for so long. It’s not something-“
“You can stop right there. I’m sorry to hear your story, Kheve, but don’t expect me to go whining about my life to you.”
Kheve quickly sets his plate down beneath his cot, stands up, walks up to Ellis and shoves him, scowling the whole time. “No need to be a jerk, dude. I was sharing something personal with you. I wasn’t whining, I wasn’t asking for-“
“Whatever, Kheve.” Ellis says frowning and turning his back to his cellmate. “It doesn’t matter. Why is this so important to you? It’s in the past, dude. So why take it all serious?”
“Me? You are the one who got so defensive so quickly. Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Kheve grabs Ellis by the shoulder and throws him on the floor.
“What is wrong with you!?” The Gruul clansman shouts, scrambling up to his feet. “Don’t you dare do that to me again!”
Kheve sets his hands on his hips and searches Ellis’ eyes until the younger man looks away. “Who hurt you, Ellis? What could have caused you so much pain that you refuse even the memory of your world?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ellis mumbles, shouldering past Kheve up to the cell bars and gripping them tightly. “I’m fine, Kheve. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need anything.”
“Was it your mom? Your dad? A sibling maybe?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past, Kheve. Just drop it.”
“Fine.” Kheve says with a frown. He walks over to his cot and throws himself down on it. “Whatever dude. I thought I was good at pushing people away.”
“It’s none of your business Kheve!” Ellis shouts, whirling around. “Why do you even care?”
Kheve closes his eyes, crosses his arms, and shrugs. “I thought it was what friends were supposed to do. But I guess neither of us have a whole lot of experience in that area.”
Ellis turns back to face the cell bars and presses his forehead against them, breakfast well forgotten, and sighs.
Janice walks into the kitchen and leans against the archway to the dinning area and sets her head against it. “Look at you,” she says to Dominique, who stands at the sink doing dishes and wearing an apron. “Domestic skills are an attractive quality in a man.”
He grins at her sheepishly. “I’ve been doing this since before we met. Now you feel like it’s time to comment?”
She shrugs, “Learn to take a compliment, Dom.”
Dominique looks her over. “You gonna change out of your pajamas? It was strange enough to see you at breakfast in them. All soft and pink is a hard contrast to your usual dark leather.”
“Distracting?”
“A little.”
“I know it is. You almost glanced more at me then at your own meal.”
His blood rushes to his cheeks he turns his attention back to the dishes, furiously scrubbing away at the pan in his hands.
Janice grins at him. Teasing him is so much fun. “It’s the big day, Dom. The captives get to see The Arena at last.”
He huffs, mood turned 180 degrees. “You say that like it’s an honor, Janice. Nothing about this day is grand. I am proud of the work we do for The Matriarch. But I am disgusted of the purpose.”
“You know what they’re fighting for in there.” She snaps. “Don’t downplay the importance of their efforts or devalue everything you and I had to go through to escape that wretched place.”
Dominique sets down the pan in his hand and glares at her. “I’m not saying I don’t understand, Janice. All I am saying is that I don’t have to like it.”
For a moment neither of them say anything, each of them contemplating the people they have become in the ten years since their release from The Arena.
After a pause far too long for comfort, Dominique says, his voice almost a whisper. “Do you still dream of their faces?”
Janice curls a lip in distaste and waves her hand, as though to brush off the question, “It’s done and past, Dom. No point in bringing it up. It doesn’t make a difference if we still dream of them.”
He lets out a huge sigh and looks at this soapy dishes in the sink somberly. “It does matter. I still dream of them Janice. Not every night. Sometimes, months go by and I nearly forget what they look. But they always return. That’s why I feed our captives the same meals I feed you and Tom-Tom. You and I…we were in their place once. I remember how I longed for a meal half as savory as the ones I give them now.”
She smiles at him. Not one of her usual cruel teasing smiles. Not a happy feel-good smile. Janice smiles at him, reflecting his warmth. “You’re just a big ol` softie, aren’t ya? Underneath that hard muscly exterior there is a four –chambered organ of bloody mushiness.”
Dominique twitches at her description. “You’re mixing your metaphors with your facts again, Janice. It’s…unsettling.”
Now she gives him her usual teasing smile. “I know.”
He lets out a breath and rolls his eyes. “You’re impossible. Go check on Tom-Tom. He should be done with his morning walk by now. It’s time to get the captives ready for their first fight.”
“Who are we pitting against each other today?”
“Today we’ll let them practice. We’ll let The Matriarch decide who gets to actually fight when she gets here.”
Finn and Saria wake up in a dimly lit cell, each in their own cot on opposite walls. Along the back wall runs a gutter with clean flowing water and around the middle was a curved rack with a curtain. Considerate of their captors to give them at least a little privacy while excreting… whoever they were.
Saria sits up on her cot and rubs her temples. “Where are my weapons?”
“Looks like someone has their priorities set straight.” Finn mumbles as he pulls himself upright and runs his hand over his faceplate. He lets out a silent sigh of relief, grateful their captors had let him keep it. “How about we start with where are we?”
“Do you remember what happened? All I remember is a brilliant flash of light and an overwhelming boom.”
“Pretty sure it was a Flashbang. Crowd control and pacification explosives.” She glances at him with an arched eyebrow. He shrugs. “We got creative with our attempts to slow the Phyrexians.”
Saria nods, recalling the various tactics her tribe had tried using. “Can you warp us out of here? Or at least find out where we are?”
Finn shakes his head and taps a bracelet tight against his wrist. “Azormithuim.” He explains. “Shuts off all connection to mana. We’re not getting out of here any time soon.”
(Vedalken Shackles: Masterpiece Series: Kaladesh Inventions) (Art by Svetlin Velinov)
“You’ve seen this before?”
“Once.” Finn explains. “Let’s just say that the Azorius on Ravnica are no pushovers. They might seem like stuck up pricks…but their control magic and technology is just phenomenal.”
“Yeah,” she says, nodding her head. “Ravnica’s an interesting place. Nearly joined the Artisan Guild there. I didn’t see the Azorius much, but I learned to treat them seriously.”
“Wait. Hold up. You’re telling me that you nearly joined The Rakdos Cult?”
“What? It’s not a cult, Finn. Like…ninety five percent of the guild is consisted of manual laborers and artisans. I clearly wasn’t joining the entertainment side of the Rakdos.”
“I think you’d make a great acrobat.” He says, smirk concealed behind his faceplate.
“Yeah. Right. And you’d make a great Gore-House usher.”
Finn stands and stretches his arms, walking up to the bars of the cell door. “I’m glad they didn’t take my Faceplate.”
Saria chuckles, “What happened to priorities, Finn?”
He turns his head to her and grins behind his faceplate. “Please, Saria. No plane in the multiverse is ready for this face yet. It’s for their own good that they didn’t take it off.”
She tosses the thin pillow on her cot at him. “Seriously though. We’re in trouble here, Finn. What are we supposed to do now?”
In a swirl of blue and green mist, Zerriko materializes on the other side of their cell door. He’s frowning.
Finn visibly shudders, “Cheer up a little, man. You look like you’ve just been thrown into a prison cell with no explanation of any kind… No wait. That’s us. So why are you upset? Let us out already!”
Zerriko shakes his head. “I can’t do that.”
Saria stands up from her cot and approaches the cell door, gripping the bars, “What do you mean you can’t let us out?”
“This is The Matriarch’s doing.” Zerriko explains somberly, not meeting their gaze. “I’m sorry…this is all my fault.”
Finn crosses his arms and nods. “Ah. I see now. That sure sheds a lot of light on the situation. Like. I’m going blind here. Wanna dial back the whole light shedding thing?”
The Dominarian huffs and glares at him. “This isn’t a game, Finn. The Matriarch is no one to be underestimated.”
“Hey!” Saria growls. “You wanna start being clear with us? This whole ‘mysterious benefactor’ thing you had going on is wearing my patience out a little. In case you’re a little too cool and distant, let me explain the situation to you. We. Are. Prisoners. So why aren’t you letting us out?”
Zerriko rolls his eyes and turns his back to them. “Because now that we’re here we might as well solve this loose end. I’m going to need your help.”
Finn places a finger against where his mouth might be behind his faceplate and strikes a pensive pose. “Where is here? Can you define loose end for me please? What you mean by help? Who is this you from whom you are requesting help from? Questions questions.”
“The Matriarch has captured you.” Zerriko explains, rubbing his temples. “And I need your help to shut down her operations. Long ago I helped her set up a network of connections among planeswalkers throughout the multiverse. I thought it would useful in case I ever needed it in the future. There is no way I could expected her to set up an interplanar slaving operation. Like… who does that?”
“Such Beautiful irony, Finn. We wanted to be heroes. And we wanted to escape the feeling of oppression and manipulation. And look where we are now. Oppressed into being heroes. Isn’t life great, Finn?”
Finn turns to Zerriko. “You’re going to bust us out of here. And we’re never going to meet each other again.”
Zerriko crosses his arms and scowls at Finn. “You’re in no position to make demands of anyone. Right now, I’m your only ally. You don’t want to-“
“Ally?” Saria spits. “You call yourself an ally? Really?”
“Fine.” He responds with a shrug. “I’m an interested party. But at least I’m interested in keeping you alive. That’s more than these people,” he waves generally at the cell and the hallway, “want for you.”
“Frankly, we don’t want your help.” Finn says. “I think we’re done here.”
Saria presses her face up against the bars, her golden crown clinking against them. “You’re not my ally, Zerriko. At this point, you’ll be lucky if the next time we meet I let you live.”
He waves his hand dismissively, “Whatever. Look. Whether or not you want my help, I’ll be giving it. For now, stay put. I have to find out exactly what The Matriarch has planned for you all.”
“You all?” Finn asks, noticing his word choice.
“Yes.” Zerriko grunts, wrinkling his nose. “All six of you.”
Saria bows her head chuckling “You mean-you mean to tell me that you’ve gone and put your entire planeswalker party in prison now?”
Finn corrects her, holding up a finger. “Planeswalker party as slave prisoners. Can’t miss that important detail.”
Zerriko scowls at them and blue-green mist starts swirling around him. “Good luck getting yourselves out of prison now, you ungrateful-“ His last word is cut off as he completely fades away.
She turns to Finn and asks, “You think it was a good idea to antagonize him? It’s one thing to dismiss him. Another one to deliberately antagonize him.”
He shrugs, palms up in the air near his shoulders, “Eh. Worth it.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “I’m not sorry about it either. You and I were doing just fine without him before this whole mess.”
“So…what now?” He asks, looking around the cell tapping his fingers against his chest. “We, uh, don’t have a plan.”
“We’re survivors, Finn.” She says, throwing herself on the cot. “This won’t be the end of us. If Phyrexia couldn’t kill us, I doubt whoever this Matriarch can.”
@confused-phyrexian @askkrenko @foilmountain @vorthosthewillis @actualborossoldier @nantukohunk @baldore-of-the-boros @verumlumen @animar-smol-of-elephants @inudono @yawgmoth-lord-of-sin @shorewall @triumviratethree @brotwurst-lobby @fogothefighter @jolly-ob-saint-nixilis @weasel102
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The Interim: After the Hypnos Scandal, Before the Fracture
A Summary of What Follows...
After the Hypnos Scandal, occurring during the Year of Growth in the Cycle of Acolytes, tore the Clarus Clan apart, they struggled through a slow recovery. Leadership passed from grandmother to granddaughter while the daughter, the cause of all the Clan’s strife, was imprisoned deep within the Willow’s roots.
Clarity returned to the Clan, and they followed Aria and the three Clarus Councils into a new era. It was a time of peace, of joy and love - and it would not last long.
Soon enough, throughout the Cycle of Goblins, dragons began to disappear from the Clan territory without a trace, one after another - this included Nighttide, Siera, Talisa, Kelp and Nagi. Others in the Clan were uneasy about these disappearances, and several dragons were no longer comfortable living by the Willow. Paratu, Maganda and Tethys all left the Clan at this time, moving on to other parts of Sorneith.
With the absence of several important Clan members - including one of the Willow’s Guardians, several guards, and the caretaker of the nursery, security in the Clan was weak. The new matriarch, Aria, rallied her dragons in the hopes of stopping these disappearances, and a few new dragons joined the Clan in order to, as Aria claimed, help protect the lair.
One dragon in particular is key here. Nighttide’s daughter, Carina, took over her mother’s duties in the nursery (although she was not as kind to the hatchlings as Nighttide was) and even transformed from a soft-skinned Tundra to a fierce Mirror in order to better protect her Clan. She refused to allow more dragons to disappear - to be taken - as her mother was. Over time, Carina slowly realized what had caused the earlier disappearances, and who - no, what - many new dragons to the Clan really were. Non-Dragons. Fair Folk. Fey. Sidhe. Imposters.
The Clan did not listen to Carina at first. She was loud and aggravating, and a threat to the unsteady peace which Aria was hoping to maintain. Carina nearly refused to care for a few hatchlings placed in her care, because they were of some strange creed but Aria was not lenient to Carina’s temper-tantrums.
It wasn’t until a year or so later, in the Year of Gales, when the Sidhe made themselves known to the whole Clan - confirming what Carina had been saying this whole time. She roared and raged, spouting hate: You can’t trust these creatures! They are selfish and cruel! They will kill us all! However, the leader of the Sidhe promised Aria they meant no harm, only wishing for a home by the Willow, which had called out to them.
After several day’s conference, the Sidhe promised that no more dragons would disappear to make room for the faeries. There was no way for the missing dragons to return from wherever the Sidhe had taken them, but there would also be no new Sidhe joining the Clan beneath the Willow. The dragons agreed to this, and the Treaty of the Sidhe was signed before the season was out.
It seemed the Clan could move forward with peace between the dragons and the non-dragon... until, at the end of the Year of Gales, more dragons began to disappear. The Clan was in an uproar, and Carina was too angry to say “I told you so!” The faeries insisted they had no hand in this foul play, but Aria was insistent that faeries were at fault here - the disappearances were the same as before. The Treaty was in tact, the Sidhe leader promised, but it was possible a stranger was the culprit; although, many faeries in the Clan were confused, for they had not noticed strange Sidhe passing by the territory. Still, the disappearances continued, and the dragons in the Clan grew distrustful and wary of their non-draconic Clanmates.
The dragons who disappeared this time include: Arista, Marcel, Ves, Etna, Alice, Emelin, Swiftstrike, Allora, Majestas, Castor, Pollux, Dosa, Sunship.
The Clan was struck down at the loss of their healer, Marcel. This was the second healer the Clan had lost since they had been founded.
When Dosa disappeared, Sonnai fell into disarray - she had lost not only her Charge, but also her unrequited love, one whom she had never even spoken to before. Now she never would. Nothing would bring Sonnai back to light and happiness...
And when Sunship disappeared - inside the dreams of his mate, the dream-catcher Jassu - Jassu was devastated. Jassu blamed himself, for how could he know what truly happened? That a spirit deep underground was awakening, and disrupting the lives and dreams of the dragons who lived above it... That the disappearance of Sunship’s soul into the dreamworld - a disappearance which was unlike the others, but still related to the power of the Sidhe - would mean Jassu could only ever see his partner again while asleep, and even then, Sunship would be forever changed...
Arvale, Pascal and Minato all left the Clan due to the tension in the Clan, and in Arvale’s case, heartbreak at losing his mate Arista. Minato, a Sidhe himself, was growing weary with the happenings of this Clan whom he had adopted for a short while. For him, it was time to move on to different streams, and so he flowed down the Gladeveins to find a new home.
The Clan was falling apart.
And soon, they would know why - for it was nearing the end of the Cycle of Goblins, and the Year of Tides was upon the Clan. Two full cycles since the Clan had been founded, two full cycles as the Willow grew with Ashlesha’s careful guidance, and two full cycles since the dragons had settled beneath the Willow.
Two full cycles during which the Clan had never known this truth - there was a spirit in the Willow beneath which they lived, and this spirit had been trapped by the Clan, a prisoner, a slave. The Willow was Ashlesha’s Charge, but the same Guardian magic which helped shape their home tree also kept the spirit from ever living freely.
And finally, she had fed on enough dragon energy to break free. There was only one dragon who knew this truth, and unfortunately for the others, she was a prisoner herself, in the roots beneath the Willow... and, regardless, Adagio had no desire to help her birth Clan.
When the spirit escaped her bitter bastille of bark, the camp exploded into an unbidden battle. Earth erupted as roots sprang from the ground, out of Ashlesha’s control, strangling dragons all around. Branches blazed with a power that had been dormant for far too long. Fronds whipped through the air and left bloody streaks on the hides of the dragons, caught off guard by this attack.
When the Sidhe who had been living in this Clan saw what happened, they immediately understood: The Willow had called them forth from the far reaches of Sorneith and beyond. The Willow had drawn them to this corner of Sorneith, to gather together. The Willow needed their support to free herself, and the faeries - who had once promised peace to the dragons - would fight on her behalf, because she was of their ilk. And the Willow was the one responsible for the disappearances which had broken the Treaty.
The Fair Folk could not continue their peace with the dragons knowing that she was their prisoner, even though the Clan had no idea of her existence. The Willow called for violence and vengeance, and the other faeries would give it to her because, even dormant, her power was much stronger than many of theirs, filled with her element and her rage.
Some faeries, like the chaotic Iele, enjoyed the battle against the dragons. Any chance to cause destruction, even against those whom she had once called family. Others felt guilty at such betrayal, but they could not ignore the call of their kind.
The battle was ugly, and the dragons who lost their lives in this event were many: Marcus, Aurora, Tzarel, Aquarelle, Tana, Opalina, Aurel, Caspian, Berem, Kage and his mate Midnight, and even Ashlesha. Marcus, the Clan’s ambassador and a strong root of the Clan’s foundation, also lost his life to the vicious faeries. The Clan’s secretary, Aurora, was not made for battle - although she defended her home even with her last breath. Tzarel and Opalina died side by side, fighting together until the end. Berem was filled with the grief he carried from his father’s disappearance, and with the strength of all the Striders in the Labyrinth, but even he fell victim to the violence of the faeries. Kage and Midnight were killed unjustly, for they were visitors to the Clan, where they laid a clutch of one single egg... an egg left behind in the fury of the battle.
Ashlesha was killed by his own Charge, strangled to death by the Willow. It was at this moment when Aria called for the Clan to retreat - even as Sonata and Dusk cried with pain to see their oldest friend fall - fleeing from a battle they could not win, from the only home many of them had ever known.
From then on, the future of the Clan was rocky and uncertain.
From Neva’s archival records:
Cycle of Goblins, Year of Tides, 8th of the Plaguebringer's Dominance Let it be known that on this day in the North of Sorneith, deep within the Gladeveins of the Western Labyrinth, the Clarus Clan has Fallen to the tides of the Sidhe.
May you go with clarity.
@jadedragons @glowing-globe-fr @clan-dark-woods @serthis-archivist @fr-crobbin @hyracia @ashpinewidow @fletcher-fr (if you’d like to be added or removed from this pinglist, please let me know! thanks for reading! <3)
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