#finally some rest and actual time to do whatever i want guilt-free!!

[honeyednights]

!!!!!!!

[banned-for-horny]

How Does That Make You Feel?

Robin needs therapy after the dock events. Dr. Harper is happy to help.

tw: noncon, terrible therapy advice, description of abuse/violence, Sorry Robin

I'm gonna consider this my final bit of robin whump to cap off the sorry robin save file before starting a new one lol. happy halloween!

The office is...cozy. Clinical, with its white walls and sterile smell, but softened by the yellow glow of a standing lamp and the giant couch that sinks under Robin's weight. It's different from the office that you described when you attended counseling sessions, but you also paid your rent on time and didn't need such comforts like this. You didn't feel the need to keep your back to a wall with your eyes on the door at all times.

"Are you sure you don't want a snack?"

Robin flinches, spine snapping to attention. "I-N-No, I'm fine. Thank you, though."

Across the room, sitting back in his own overstuffed chair, is Dr. Harper. He gives Robin a pleasant smile as a pen twirls between his fingers. "Of course. Remember, it's free. All you need to do is ask."

Robin tries to smile at that. It's a kind gesture, but taking food from strangers still doesn't sit well with him. "I'll...remember."

"Good. Now then!" Dr. Harper shifts, just enough to allow his left ankle to rest on his right knee. "Why don't we get started? How have you been since our last session?"

"I've..." Robin stalls, nails biting into his knees. "It's been...bad."

Dr. Harper's brows lift. "How so?"

"I-Well..." Again, he stalls, more out of guilt than actual hesitancy. He's gotten better at this, collecting his hazy thoughts and molding them into proper words. When he'd first had his solo sessions with Dr. Harper, it took him an hour just to stop sobbing. But those had been about the...the memories at the docks. This time..."I-I had a really bad dream. It's been...bothering me ever since."

"Oh?" Dr. Harper twirls his pen. "Describe it to me, if you can."

And, really, Robin should have been prepared for this. Dr. Harper likes to hear things in vivid detail. He says it helps ground a person to reality, keeps them from dissociating or avoiding the truth. It does help, but just thinking of what Robin is about to say makes his stomach churn. "I-It...It was about my friend." His gnawed nails scratch his palms as he pulls his feet onto the couch, tucking them under his thighs. "The one who recommended you?"

"Ah, I remember them," Dr. Harper says with a fond smile. You were an excellent patient, apparently. It doesn't make the knot in Robin's stomach any looser. "What happened in your dream that involved them?"

Robin hugs his stomach, slowly hunching over in some attempt at shielding himself. Phantom aches begin to throb under his skin, fists and rods and whatever toys they could find beating into his torso until he could barely breath. Details, he tells himself. Details.

Click!

"I-I hurt them," Robin forces out. "I would...We were in a room, a-and I was ch-choking them. I don't remember why, but-" But he was squeezing hard and tight, sinking his fingers deep into the back of your throat. Even now, he remembers the way your muscles convusled under his palms.

"Focus," Dr. Harper calls, followed by another click! of his pen. "What else happened?"

Robin's stomach only sinks. No matter what he did, you wouldn't stop thrashing. He remembers that. He tried to punch you, but pulling a hand away gave you to opening to get away, and when Robin tried to chase you, he-

Click!

"I-I was stuck." Robin's voice catches in his throat. "There was this-this chain and when I tried to follow them I couldn't run and they..." You didn't wait for him. You ran and ran and left him behind. Robin doesn't realize he's crying until the tears hit his pants. He grabs the tissue from its box and dabs at his cheek, struggling to breathe through his clogged nose. "I...think I woke up after that."

Dr. Harper hums, twirling his pen as Robin grabs another tissue. "It sounds like you have some budding resentment towards your friend."

"What? No," flies out of Robin instinctually. "T-They're my best friend. I-We've been together ever since I can remember."

"And yet you dreamt of hurting them. Why do you think that is?"

"I-I don't know."

Dr. Harper's smile thins. "May I posit a theory, then?" At the orphan's nod, the doctor sets his foot down and points at him with his pen. "You're upset at them because they're the reason why you were sent to the docks."

Click!

"W-What?" Robin recoils as Dr. Harper nods, apparently satisfied with his assumption. "I-That-it wasn't their fault. It was my own-"

"But they're responsible for you, aren't they?" Dr. Harper asks. "I recall you mentioning that they help pay your rent at the loft."

Ah, right. That little lie. Robin almost forgets that you and he had agreed to not tell the doctor about Bailey's payments to avoid even more threats on their life. Still, Robin nods slowly, massaging his legs. "Right. Why would I-I hate them for helping me?"

"I don't think they're really helping you." Dr. Harper frowns, now, apparently serious enough to open his eyes fully instead of remaining half-lidded, like he's finally awake instead of operating in a dream. "Let us change subjects for a moment: Why do you think you've been targeted more often?"

Because I'm weak, Robin thinks. His mouth falters, but from the way the doctor's frown deepens, he doubts he'll need to say it aloud.

"Perhaps," Dr. Harper says, "but in comparison to who?"

"To...my friend?" Robin guesses.

"Precisesly. Now, if you don't mind, could you stand?" Dr. Harper rises from his own seat in time with Robin. The doctor is quite small compared to him, but that is to be expected; Robin is one of the tallest orphans-actually, he's one of the tallest students in the school, beaten out only by Whitney and some upperclassmen. The only thing stopping him from really filling out his frame is his restricted diet courtesy of Bailey. "You make for quite the intimidating figure at first glance. Your friend, on the other hand..."

You're shorter than Robin. You're smaller than Robin. In fact, Robin knows he can pick you up easily and has done it plenty of times before. Outside of physicality, though, you...you trump him. You've put people in the hospital before. The police haven't been able to put you away simply because you had enough connections to get rid of evidence, and if the evidence can't disappear, then you just use your fists.

Click!

"They only target you because your friend is too dangerous to hurt." Dr. Harper lifts his pen and presses into Robin's sternum. All it takes is a single tap - with a click! of his pen, he pushes the orphan back into the couch. "You're kind, Robin. Too kind."

Robin's protests escape him when he lands. The doctor stares down with a frown.

"Your friend is supposed to protect you."

Click!

"And yet all of this has only come about because of them."

Click!

"Does that not annoy you?"

"I..." Robin wants to say no, it doesn't, but that smoldering heat he'd buried in his gut is starting to spread, eating away at the guilt until his fingers curl. "Y-Yes."

Dr. Harper steps back, twirling his pen as his brow lifts. "Yes, what?"

"It annoys me."

Click!

"Then why not tell them?"

"Because I can't," Robin says. The heat claws up his chest, circling the point where Dr. Harper had hit him with the pen and bleeding into his lungs. "T-They're just trying to protect me-"

The doctor frowns at that answer. "And they didn't do a very good job of that, did they?" He leans down this time to stare Robin right in the face, pen clicking behind his back. "How long were you at the docks, Robin?"

Robin's blood freezes. Five days. The sun rose and set five different times.

Click!

"What did they do to you, Robin?"

Hurt him. Beat him-no. Details. They started with treating him like bellboy on a cruise, made him walk around naked and serve the people while their hands scratched and slapped and punched. And when he dropped a bottle of wine worth £20,000, they forced him to kneel in the shards and clean it with his tongue. And after that, they used whips and rods and laughed when he couldn't keep count. Someone slathered him in some pink cream and taunted him when his cock felt like it was going to explode from how hard it pulsed. Before that, though, they used clothespins to pinch his foreskin back and after that they'd used ropes to strangle him and see how close they could get him to pass out before loosening up just enough to breath before trying again.

Click!

"And why did they do all of that, Robin?"

Because of you.

Ding!

Robin blinks as Dr. Harper's waist chimes. He reaches for his pager, grimacing at whatever notification flashes on his screen. "Seems we're having an emergency," he says and pockets the device. "I'm afraid we'll have to cut this session a little short."

"That's okay," Robin says slowly, thoughts still a mess of his own anger. He rises and clears his throat, massaging the ache out of his hands. "I-Um...what should I do next time? Or..."

Dr. Harper hums, tapping his pen against his lip. It stretches into a chipper smile that shuts his eyes and sends shivers down the boy's back. "Why don't you invite your friend to the next session? Sometimes it's easier to tell someone how they feel when there's a third party to intervene if something goes wrong."

-

Robin is a XX-year old male student with a prior history of social instability. He is an orphan with no known relatives. His legal guardian is the orphanage's caretaker. He lives in a flat with a roommate, who also lived in the same orphanage. Robin attends classes regularly at the local school and works part-time at a café. Recently, Robin reports feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, with the source of these feelings stemming from his roommate. Robin

Dr. Harper huffs, glaring at the report before him. He never was one for writing case summaries. Much of his work required direct, hands-on approaches and left very little time for him to accurately write down notes. He could have an assistant do it for him, of course, but...Robin is a special case.

"Rob-Ghck!"

Dr. Harper looks up just in time. Robin's right hand crushes your mouth while the other frantically claws at his shorts. Your knees are hiked, legs kicking, but whatever hits you land only spurs the orphan on. The curve of your waist bucks and twists, muscles taut under your exposed skin. Huh. Seems you really do have the better physique.

A muffled hiccup draws his gaze to your face. There are tears already spilling down your cheeks, hands clawing at Robin's wrist. His mad fervor begins to slow. The hand crushing your face begins to relax.

Click!

Robin's nails bite into your cheek, and the struggle renews in earnest.

Dr. Harper shifts in his seat, sitting up to ease the strain of his trousers against his erection. Where you have your strength, Robin outweighs you in his rage. He frees his erection in a few frantic tears of his shorts. He doesn't even bother looking for a condom when he sinks into you. It's not like those dockworkers would have used a condom on the poor orphan.

The pained wail that escapes you makes his blood sing.

Dr. Harper readjusts his clipboard to shield himself, then quietly unbuckles his belt. He doubts he needs to be careful, really, but Robin is a bit...tetchy. Best not to draw his attention right now.

Click!

He palms his erection just as Robin begins to thrust, each snap of his hip jolting your entire frame. The orphan's body nearly covers yours as he curls into you. Your legs have frozen around his sides - out of pain or fear or resignation, Dr. Harper can't tell. Your hips, though, jerk with each thrust, up and into Robin's own. You must be more into this than he thought. Perhaps you'd expected it earlier, when the orphan had yelled and yelled about his memories at the docks. After all, you are Robin's closest friend. It would only be the right thing to do after everything you put him through.

Click!

Robin finally releases your face in favor of caging you in his arms, burying his face against your throat and swearing with rage. You let out a pained whimper and scratch at his shoulders. It only leaves thin, red lines that, really, probably feels incredible.

"I-Hah-Fuck-" Robin practically crushes you beneath him, hips a blur. A pulse runs through Dr. Harper's cock at the sight, stomach knotting as he jerks his hand faster and faster. He pants between clenched teeth, a beautiful harmony to the melody of gasps and groans before him, and when your desperate, tearful eyes meet his, the doctor twitches and sends his cum splattering against his clipboard.

From the way Robin buries himself into you not a second later and moans, Dr. Harper can't help but chuckle. He tucks his cock away and slips an extra sheet of paper over the report. The cum begins to smear the fresh ink, but he sets it aside in order to lean forward with his pen.

Click!

Robin slowly unravels in your arms, muscles going lax as he pulls his hips back. His cock slips out of your stretched hole with a soft shlick, sending a jolt through the doctor's spine. Anger still simmers in his gaze when you start to sit up, pulling your shirt up to shield your bare chest. Dr. Harper's smile only grows at the sight.

"I think," he announces, "that should be good for today. You've made some excellent progress, Robin."

Robin's slow blink does little to clear the fog in his eyes while he smiles. "Yeah...that's good."

"As for you." Dr. Harper points his pen at you and smiles when you shrink back in fear. "Thank you so much. Robin really needs your support, and this was a huge help."

Click!

"You're such a good friend."

Your puffy lips part, waver, then seal shut, head bobbing in a tiny nod before turning to Robin. The boy is already dressed and ready to leave the office, a dreamy smile on his face as he offers a hand to you. It takes you two seconds too long to take it.

Dr. Harper clicks his pen, smiling when two different pairs of eyes land on him. "Same time next week?"

"That works," Robin answers with a happy nod.

Beside him, your knuckles tighten. The smile you show him doesn't quite reach your eye. "I-I think I'll be busy-"

"Nonsense." Dr. Harper waves his hand and scoffs, thumbing the top of his pen until it clicks. "What could be more important than supporting your best friend?"

Under Robin's expectant gaze, you shrink back and whisper, "Nothing."

"Exactly." With that, Dr. Harper rises from his seat and presses a hidden button on his pager, the ding! resounding through the cramped office. He makes a show of grimacing at the blank screen, then offers the same apologetic smile as before. "Well,  I'll see you two next week then. Take care."

Once the door is locked, Dr. Harper picks up the report and grimaces. For Robin's file...eh, he can have an intern pen it out for him. You, on the other hand...Dr. Harper smiles and fishes out a blank report sheet, mind abuzz with treatment plans. Your hesitancy, non-compliance, neglecting the needs of your friends? All the signs of a troubled patient in the making. Hopefully he'll be able to intervene before you end up like Robin.

[hell-drabbles]

Hi!!! I would like to apologise first for my bad english but reading through your blog made me think of something: How do you feel about an Angel! Companion not the angst one where they got angelification but as in God's creation. Companion is somewhat of an angel already on how they correct and guide Ra-on.

Angel! Companion who is a blank slate grew up with Ra-on and Minhyeok who later started to adapt human emotions.

Angel! Companion who died protecting Ra-on and causing him a mental break down.

Angel! Companion who after their death methamorphosise(?) into their angel form.

Ra-on who is feeling conflicted, happy to see his companion alive but at the same feeling betrayed/ in disbelief by Angel! Companion's secret.

Angels who are obsessed with regrooming Angel! Companion out of their humanity because they are not letting their youngest sibling not know about Angel Ethics.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I'm kinda obsessing over the whole wolf in sheep's clothing concept. I am sooo interested in your thoughts or HC about this.

Let's see... Well, I hope you don't mind if my thoughts go all over the place and in no chronological order.

Playing around with a concept like that, I would imagine that this Companion was essentially God's last creation before he vanished, a sort of incomplete creation at that because they had basically nothing. No role, no position or anything of the sort. Really, the only thing they have going on in their head is that drive to seek out God, if only to find out the reason why he made them this way. And so, without telling anyone, and without anyone caring, they simply wandered out of Heaven and went to the human world.

They wander, probably take on the form of a kid and end up meeting Ra-on and Minhyeok and the rest is basically history. While it's not official that the Companion is adopted, the Companion is either living with Ra-on or Minhyeok. Childhood shenanigans ensue, kiddos admiring the coolheadedness of the Companion, their big ol strength.

And, of course, the tragedy happens. Ra-on parents are killed. My angsty brain wants to have the Companion be there for that event. Death isn't new to them so they're not in a state of panic, but it's still incredibly unsettling to see the Companion covered in blood while curled over Ra-on as they blocked his ears.

I like to imagine that the angel that killed Ra-on's parents recognized the Companion as one of their kin and actually pats the Companion on the head for the sheer level of emotional manipulation they're doing on Solomon's bloodline. They'll come for Ra-on later, so make sure he doesn't die to something stupid. This angel is talking some real revealing stuff so the Companion has to block Ra-on's ears.

This type of Companion would have a different dynamic with Ra-on compared to the original, because this Companion would be more driven by guilt for intentionally keeping Ra-on in the dark about some heavy shit. Leads to a lot of avoidant behavior on the Companion's part and any anger would just, be pushed riiiight down because the guilt would come back. Then they'd just, disengage from any and all conversations and just, calm down. This does lead to Ra-on believing that he's a burden to them, that the Companion can't stand the sight of him anymore. He tries to close the deepening gap, but until the root of the problem is solved, it's only going to make things worse. Are they even friends anymore?

The answer is yes, and it is unfortunate that they're both controlled by deep shame of themselves. The Companion can and will risk their life for Ra-on, because how else can they make up for the fact that they've been lying by omission for all these years.

And so comes the time for the Companion to finally be free of that disguise of theirs. Whatever the circumstances, be it to save their own life or some sort of messed up rebirth, the Companion is back to how they used to look, and now Ra-on has to digest the fact they've been lying for so many years. But, as much as he wants to be angry, the Companion was then stolen away, back to Heaven.

Man, I really wish I had more information regarding Heaven and how it works. My brain can only create so much before it spits out not so good ideas.

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 3512 (chapter 47)

actually just got the best idea of posting next chapter on valentines day for all the singles here (myself including) ♥

also - minors do not interact !

47. All 'thanks' to the Devil

"So, what has Matt Murdock planned for the upcoming weekend?" You ask, leaving the office at almost 7 PM. The cases had you worked up until the late evening, with a shit ton of paperwork to sign and send back. The last few weeks had been hectic with courtrooms, new clients and trying not to go out of business with almost no income. All because Matt didn't want to take money from you. Or from his actual clients. You've tried to talking some sense into him, even getting Karen to help change Matt's mind, but he refused to listen. Eventually you just gave up and tried to ignore all the food that clients began bringing to the office, instead of paying with actual money. The food was good, yet it doesn't pay the electricity bills.

Matt lazily walks down the stairs after you, one hand holding onto the railling, the other carelessly swinging his briefcase. "What's happening this weekend?"

"You really don't know?" You stop on the last step and turn back to look at him, perplexed.

"No, what is it?" He stops one step above you, towering like a statue in the late evening.

"It's Thanksgiving." You lean on the railing with your elbow, just an arm's reach from Matt.

"Oh, that." He laughs, "I don't really celebrate."

"You're just weird, and not in a good way, you know that?" You huff, still looking at him from below. If Matt could see, he'd be met with your lovely doe eyes.

"Awh, you broke my heart, y/n." He teases. Those few weeks after sending Fisk to prison were almost like honeymoon - fewer criminals and more time to spend with you. Yes, he has been sneaking out at night when he heard screaming and fighting, but he always returned to you sleeping soundly in his bed. It was hard to keep up with this, the guilt Matt felt when he kissed your forehead and left the warmth of your body to put on the suit has been collecting in his heart the same way dirt collects in the bottom of a river.

"Not the first time, if I remember correctly." You say, cheekily placing your hand on his waist, just above the end of his shirt. Matt feels his breath hitch somewhere in his lungs, but the warmth from your touch calms him. "Listen, Murdock, I thought that if you're not busy, maybe you'd like to go to my parents' house for the weekend?" Your fingers hook on the loops of his trousers and tug him forward.

"To your parents' house?" There's a note of fear and doubt in his voice. He's never been away from Hell's Kitchen for long and the thought of leaving people in need alone was almost crushing.

"Yeah, you know, to celebrate Thanksgiving."

"Really? I thought you were finally going to introduce me to your parents." He smirks, hand resting on your shoulder for support. You both agreed to keep whatever was going on between you two a secret for as long as possible. Not only because of the way Karen was constantly sending Matt heart eyes, but you also didn't want to make things in the office weird, especially after Matt and Foggy called truce. And, secret romance was as exciting as winning a case. Meeting your parents would mean a new step in your relationship; one he was willing to take.

"Well that comes with the whole dinner for free package." You lean forward on your tippity toes, "and maybe breakfast, if you're good."

"I'm always good." His smile becomes even bigger when you tug at his pants again.

"One might argue." You laugh, still keeping your hand firmly on Matt's body, feeling the muscles move when he leans forward to kiss your forehead.

"Well, if one might argue, then one might decline the delicious dinner offer." He says after pulling back and feeling your hand drop. Like an animal close to catching his prey, he comes around in half-circle to stand next to you.

"Don't be a dick now." Your hands find his body again, slowly pulling him closer to you by his tie. "Let's leave this place and just forget everything. At least for a day." His face is just inches away from yours and you whisper, "I'll make sure my dad doesn't kick your ass."

"Oh, that's awesome." He huffs before you place a chaste kiss on his lips. "I might think about it." He murmurs before your lips connect again, this time more demanding. "I think I need a little more convincing." Matt smiles, playing the game with you, before you roll your eyes and kiss him again, tongue teasingly touching his lips and you pull away before he could breach his way into your mouth.

"I'll leave you to make the decision, handsome." You pull away, leaving him needy and in thought. "You better hurry, I might just leave you here."

As Matt closes the doors of your car, you lock them from the inside, much to his surprise and rising suspicion. Your hand rests on his body again, slowly getting under his jacket through the coat and stops on his chest, feeling the heartbeat speeding up. "What are you doing?" Matt asks, feeling cornered in the passenger seat.

"So, what is your answer?" You ask near his face, breathing hot air on his cheek. The air in the car was cold and the contrast made him shiver.

"You really didn't give me much time to think." He smiles, hearing you pout.

"I need to know tonight, my dad is going to the grocery store tomorrow." You kiss his cheek, dragging your lips along his jawline and stop when you reach his chin.

"That's very little time for such tough decision, y/n." He can't hide his smile when you squeeze his shoulder under all the layers and kiss him on the lips.

"I can be very convincing." Your hand drops from his shoulder and slides all the way down until you reach his crotch and can't believe that he's already half hard. "Very, very convincing." You rub your palm on him, intently watching him suck a breath through his teeth.

"Y/n, we shouldn't be doing this here." He mumbles before your tongue makes its way into his mouth, demanding and hungry. He gives into it, tasting your lips again like for the first time, finding it hard to focus on one thing with the way your hands are on him, pulling at his belt, trying to touch him as roughly as possible.

"We're alone, relax." You pull away, breathless from the kiss and using both hands, although, quite uncomfortably in this position, unzip his pants and Matt lifts up his butt so you could push his underwear almost to his mid-thighs. Your hand immediately wraps around his hard cock. He gasps instantly, feeling both relaxed and tense. "I could watch you all day." You whisper sultry in his ear and almost hypnotized look at the way your hand comes up and down, and the sight makes your stomach flip. Matt can't say a word, mainly because there isn't a single coherent thought in his head, just your hot breath fanning against his cheek, and your hand tightly stroking his dick. You kiss the corner of his lips before your hand leaves his erection and the instant coldness makes him shiver. He almost protests, wanting you to finish what you've started but then he hears shifting on the driver's seat and slight huffing as you struggle to make yourself comfortable with those suit pants. "What are you doing?" He asks again, the same question, yet different meaning, expectations high for a different answer.

You say nothing, finally comfortable on the seat, kneeling on the left side of Matt, heels pushed against the door. You lean forward, taking Matt's cock in your hand again and licking the tip. He almost cums on the spot, hands desperately searching for something to grasp and fingers finally tighten on the door handle. "Y/n..." he mouths without sound, eyebrows tightly knitted together, his left hand slipping into your hair and subconsciously pulling at the roots. You roll your eyes and refrain from making a sound at his action and start sucking him. At first, slowly, setting a pace and he pulls your head up for a moment. The hand holding the door handle comes off and he swiftly collects all your hair and one place, making a ponytail. You appreciate the action and continue your previously interrupted activity, hot tongue moving along his veiny dick faster and faster.

The gear shift is uncomfortably pressing into your breast, creating a strange friction; a grunt leaves Matt's mouth, so filthy and so desperate, his hands starts unconsciously pressing your head further on his dick, but he's not harsh. He doesn't want you to do things that you're not comfortable with. He's not one of those guys who needs to hear women choke and gag on their dicks, what difference it would make, if your hand, playing with his balls and the base of his cock that your mouth doesn't reach, does a perfect job? Of course, if you did, he wouldn't mind, but he certainly wasn't going to make you do it.

Lost in the rhythm of your mouth, he felt himself getting closer. Light shaking in his hips told you that he didn't have long left and you pull away, licking your lips. Breath knocked out of your lungs, breasts aching with desire and need to be touched, panties most certainly wet and knees hurting - you were a mess, just as Matt was a complete mess under your touch. You glance at his lower lip, tightly trapped behind his teeth, almost to the point of being bloody and flushed face and almost stop your hand from touching yourself. Awarding him with a kiss, you push your tongue into his mouth, wanting him to taste himself on your tongue, to feel the saltiness of the precum and the absolute desire that was possessing you. Matt groans, hands not letting go of your hair and your cheek; he inhales the air of the car, everything making him even hornier, if that was possible. He knew that your wet panties were sticking to your tight suit pants and if you wiggled your butt enough, you'd most certainly would've created some friction. He felt that in the air, you wanted to ease the tension, wanted to slip your fingers and rub your clit, yet you were almost punishing yourself with the way you solely focused on pleasuring him. He knew that even if his hand slightly brushed over your breast, you'd come undone.

"So," you say, hand slowly going up and down on his dick, calmer than before, but enough to drive him over the edge. "You've thought enough now?" You kiss his cheek, over and over again, purposely avoiding his lips, waiting for his answer. Matt laughs but doesn't say a word. "Are you coming, Matt?" You ask, holding him tigher and he sucks a breath in, "are you coming over, honey?" You ask again, your head against his, Matt's fingers tightening around your hair and you suddenly pick up a harsh, almost punishing rhythm and try to get him off quicker, mouth watering at the sight of your hand on his big veiny dick.

Matt grunts again, this time it comes out so dirty that you roll your eyes to the back of your head but manage to keep him on the edge, so close, but not close enough. "Are you coming?" You repeat your question, this time louder, still keeping the pace, he's almost there, you know from the way he takes short breaths and furrows his eyebrows. "Answer me." You demand into his ear and he finally nods, desperate for this to end. "I want you to say it. Say it Matt, are you coming?" He knows that this question is laced with double meaning, one obvious for this current situation down his pants, and the other - the unanswered question about the dinner.

It takes approximately 5 seconds for him to finally answer, the dominance of your actions and that tone - he was a gone man. "I am, I'm coming-" words get stuck in his throat when you, finally satisfied with the answer, wrap your mouth around his cock again, taking it all in and swallowing. He lets out a guttural moan, hips rising to meet your mouth, head thrown back and chest rising with every breath that he takes.

A moment later, you finally rise up and breathe heavily, a smile dancing on your lips. "Told you that I am good at convincing."

He feels weak, tired and satisfied at the same time. Matt's hand, stretched out, looks for your face and when he finally hooks his fingers behind your ear, you are pulled into a breathless, dirty kiss. He tastes himself again, but this makes the kiss even hotter. "Too good." He whispers when you pull away, knees already tired from this position and you slide down your seat, making yourself comfortable.

The windows of your car are fogged from the inside, hot air inside contrasting with the cold wind outside. Even if someone was passing, surely nothing could've been seen. Matt shivers, remembering that he's exposed at the moment, but doesn't hurry to pull his pants up. You open your eyes that you closed just a second ago and when his hand comes to squeeze your thigh, almost touching your core. You wanted him now - either his dick or his fingers inside you, but much to your own surprise, you push his hand away. "Don't get too greedy." He smiles, and reluctantly, pulls his hand away, finally pulling his pants up. You turn on the ignition, waiting for the windows to cool, "you'll get your piece when the time comes."

"Oh, is that soon?"

"Very soon." You say and touch his cheek with the back of hand before driving out of the parking lot.

*** Apparently 'soon' wasn't the next day. And not the day of your trip to your parents house. Matt felt slightly betrayed by the way you were giving him blue balls for two days in a row. But something told him that just the night after you dropped him off at his place and returned to yours, you definitely stuck your fingers inside of you and came, probably more than once to the fresh memory of him coming in your mouth in the front seat of your car. Just the thought of it made him feel a tingle down there and he shifted in his seat.

"Is it still cold?" You ask, noticing the slight movement in the corner of your eye and shift gears, "I'll have my dad to look over it, I swear something's wrong with the heating." He was right. You did masturbate when you returned to your apartment, almost immediately when you dropped all your clothes on the bathroom floor and turned on the shower. He was right, you came twice.

"No." Matt answers immediately, but then thinks again. "Maybe a bit."

"I knew I wasn't imagining it." You smile briefly when you hear one of your favorite bands on the radio. Muse. Their music had you in a chokehold throughout your entire highschool and it wasn't better when Twilight came out. Although it was a bit crappy movie, the scene with Muse's song made you close your eyes at the imperfection.

"So..." Matt turns to face you, the seatbelt digging into his shoulder, "what's your dad like?"

"Are you scared?" You smirk, adjusting your hands on the wheel.

"Should I be?"

"A bit, yeah." You sigh, "everyone keeps saying that I'm a lot like him."

"So we're going to get along just fine."

You can't help but laugh, glad to stop by the red light. "Your humor is admirable, Matt, truly."

"What? Is he really that bad?" Matt smiles, slightly confused.

"If you're a man, yes. Especially if you're my man." You tap your fingers on the wheel, letting the words sink in. My man.  Matt felt his heart flutter. "My ex has him wrapped around his finger. I curse the day I agreed to go to prom with him."

"Wow, then I'm up against a tough opponent."

"Yeah, believe me. What makes it worse is that Robert's a nice guy. Dealing with exes is not easy, right?" You briefly turn to look at him when the light changes to green. "What about you? Any woman I should worry about?"

"Uh... It's all in the past, so no." But Matt's words are not reassuring. Elektra. He hasn't heard from her since college, when she almost screwed up his graduation. But right now, he didn't miss Elektra at all. In fact, he didn't even think about her, when he had you, sitting by his side all the time, full of joy and life. So beautiful like a gust of wind on a hot summer's day.

"Hm." You only hum, not really feeling the need to discuss past lovers. What truly matters is the present. He's glad you're not asking questions and you fall into a comfortable silence.

*** 

Forty minutes later, you're already parking your car in front of your parents' house. The late November wasn't particularly grateful with daylight, and by the time you drove here, it was almost dusk. You get out of the car, inhaling full lungs of fresh air. Home. The house was still the same as you remembered, no different from the other brick houses on the street, but still so dear to you. 

"Can I carry something?" Matt's soft tone brings you back from your thoughts, and you turn around to look at him.

"Only the flowers." Of course, Matt insisted on buying your mother a nice bouquet of flowers on their first meeting. A true gentleman. You grab the apple pie you baked before leaving and with one final look at the last light of the sunset, you place your hand on Matt's elbow. His grip on the flowers tightens, the swing of his white cane is quick and almost enthralling. 

"Should we knock?" He asks, when his cane hits a hard wall of the house. 

"I'll do it." You knock gently, but loud enough for people inside to hear. Matt hears how the TV gets muted and a shuffling of slippers comes closer and closer to them. It felt like it was just the two of you against the whole world. Both holding onto each other tightly, afraid that if someone comes in between, you both might just fall apart like ancient heroes and their lovers, destined only to suffer. The doors open just a second later-

"I can't believe my eyes." A rough voice reaches Matt's ears, and his best guess is that your dad was looking at you as if he saw a ghost. "Y/n?" He steps through the threshold, embracing you in a tight hug.

"Hi, dad." You whisper into his broad shoulder, inhaling the smell of home. He pulls away and looks at Matt in question. Your mother appears, and her smile is brighter than the whole sky. You push the pie in your dad's hands and hug her with both of your hands. The faint smell of turkey and spices reminds you of all the times you celebrated Thanksgiving with your parents... And all the times you did not.

"So glad to see my beautiful daughter, just look how she glows, look Harold, isn't she just like an angel?" You mother's fingers gently pinch your cheeks, just like they did when you were little. Her eyes dart to Matt, standing just a bit behind you, small smile on his lips. "And who's this handsome?"

"Mom, dad, this is Matt. We wanted to make a surprise, so that's why I didn't tell you about us coming here." You say, and Matt quickly understands that you lied before when you said that your dad needs to know about this before his trip to the supermarked. Clever little fox you were.

Matt extends his hand, quickly folding the white cane and pushing it under his elbow. Your father is the first one to shake hands with him, one firm grip meeting another. Harold's eyebrows shoot up a bit, from the unexpected strength  from a blind man. "I'm Harold Y/l/n."

"Matt Murdock. Nice to meet you, Sir. I've heard a lot about your work in the force." Matt smiles, and your father's hand is quickly replaced by your mother's. "Mrs Y/l/n, pleasure to meet you. Y/n said that you might like these," Matt gives your mother the flowers and she sighs, delighted, "something smells very good."

"Fantastic sense of smell! I'm Camilla, and oh, the flowers are just beautiful."

You watch their interraction, somewhere deep inside afraid that this bubble of a perfect world might collapse soon. Your mother takes the flowers and turns back, urging you to go inside. "Murdock you say? I heard a thing or two about your father. One hell of a man he was." You faintly hear your dad's voice, before every bit of happiness washes away from your body when you see him standing in the kitchen, a stupid grin on his face.

"Hello, y/n."

[ladymorghul]

It's so confusing in every single post-episode interview, Ewan kept saying Alicent was Aemond's cryptonite, his soft spot, etc., and then, after the season finale, Geeta revealed it was Helaena all along. I don't have a clue why in the first half of the season they were making us believe Aemond didn't care about his sister (his reaction to BnC was going to the brothel where he had a good time and bragged Daemon sending assassin after him, he never mentioned Jaehaerys and didn't even brother to attend his nephew's funeral). Some were even speculating Daemon's notorious vision of Alyssa was , in fact, a mirror image of Aemond's secret desire to have sex with Alicent , who he was supposed to be obsessed with. Do you think there is a chance Helaena's actually the closest person to Aemond, just like Geeta said?

i totally get the confusion tbh.

i will get boo'ed for this but i do personally think they lowkey retconned aemond in s2 and in the first half had to diminish his story and involvement in the story to make space for aegon's and to gain aegon some sympathy through the writing.

it makes zero sense that aemond wasn't involved in the b&c aftermath, both with helaena and the rest of his family. daemon is only brought up once by him in the brothel and nobody speaks of him in relation to b&c outside of that at all. aemond is made to talk exclusively of luke when his nephew was straight up killed horribly. the only thing b&c related we have of aemond is something that iirc ewan mitchell came up with himself. the coin that he finds in his room, the one he fiddles with during the council. ewan says:

“i wanted to just remember that everything that coin represents very much lives in aemond's head rent-free. the idea that daemon got this close, and ultimately aemond's nephew paid the ultimate price, that's something that does haunt aemond.”

unfortunately unless you're someone who likes to analyze, maybe go back and rewatch, are good with details, this is something that can easily be missed. we have nothing else tying him to b&c and it is so sad they erased him from this plotline.

then there's also of course having helaena easily brush off the circumstances of b&c and having a significant part of the b&c plotline focus on alicent: her sex scene and her guilt, which helaena easily forgives.

i do think aemond craves validation from his mother, and even more love than whatever he got, and i do think he's affected by alicent's actions and attitude to a degree, but i'm not sure i would call her his "cryptonite"

that being said i know ewan talked extensively about alicent. then again, he also talked about loyalty to his family and we knew that was something to throw off the audience during promo season considering what was coming for rook's rest.

i do think geeta is right in that aemond has deeper feelings for helaena. personally, i think he always had them. on one hand i feel like he always had romantic feelings for helaena and also the bitterness that comes with being a second son not being able to be the one who gets to marry the sister.

as for "the closest person".. it's hard. if we look at it overall, he obviously had more scenes with his mother, however we also see a huge clash between who his mother is and who he is. the closeness they had in season 1 is definitely slipping in season 2. the problem here i think lies in the writing consistency and the actual lack of scenes of both aemond and helaena. hotd uses aemond a lot for promo but when you look at his screentime... i mean.... and the way they used that screentime in the first part of season 2 is especially lacking.

and i agree with geeta that aemond and helaena are definitely closer than aegon and helaena. phia says she doesn't live a married live, that this marriage was just to please her mother and never thinking about herself, but we saw in season 1 that she and aemond are closer, something that should have naturally spilled into season 2 with the aftermath of blood and cheese and how that would affect both characters and their relationship, but like i said... i feel like it was retconned to make space for aegon's story before he would be burned in rook's rest.

it's also not just geeta saying that aemond and helaena have a closer relationship, but also ewan mitchell and phia saban. and we can see that culminate in episode 8 when it's clear helaena is the only person who can get that type of reaction out of aemond thus far.

but the writers are pretty bad at showing this on screen consistently and building it naturally and it's not just with aemond and helaena, but other dynamics and plotlines.

[shortstrawberry]

I accidentally deleted a ask that was asking azutara headcannons. I'm so sorry annon!

Azutara is actually my favourite ship in ATLA! I made a hefty arranged marriage headcannons for them, please check it out here:

Anyway, moving on to some new juicy azutara headcannons!

Water and fire are opposites. One burns, the other soothes. But they are similar in one regard: protection. Fire will burn the world to protect you. And water? Water will freeze, flood, parch, to protect you.

This explains Katara and Azula's relationship dynamics very well, in a hindsight. Two years of time in asylum had left her in a precarious mental state. The nation she once loved considered her a lunatic who hallucinated her mother. Even her own brother, Zuko seems to give up on her. But then comes Katara.

Whether it's the guilt of putting Azula in such a state in the first place, or just her compassionate nature, Katara sought to help Azula out. At first, Azula spat on the offer.

"What? You want to have yet another victory on me! Oh, the great watermaster heals the crazy firebender!"

Katara, who was usually quick to anger, remained patient with Azula's many insults.

"Make up whatever conspiracy theory you want, Azula. At the end of the day, I'm here to help you, whether you like it or not."

It was like a unstoppable force meeting a unstoppable object. Eventually, Azula relented. And so started their sessions together. Azula expectedly freaked out when Katara's water entered her mind for the first time.

However, true to her word, Katara respected her privacy. Katara only soothed and cleared out the cogs and fog in her mind. She never poked where Azula didn't allow her. After four such sessions, Azula let her guard down.

"Have you tried the fried gizzard tongue yet?"

"The what?!"

"It's a delicacy here. My favourite."

Katara in her next visit brought fried gizzard tongue. They had their first meal together. Soon, it would become a daily routine.

Hell broke loose when Katara got to know how Azula was treated in the asylum. Katara had caught sight of Azula's nails, or rather the lack of. She put two and two together and stormed off, ready to confront the Fire Lord Zuko.

Azula doesn't know what Katara did, but soon her residence changed. She was moved to Katara's place, which didn't have any bars in windows or thin mattress bed. Katara assured Azula that she will make sure Azula never goes back there again.

Zuko one day showed up, after months of avoiding Azula. Both ended up crying, asking forgiveness from each other. War had made enemies of a brother and sister. Finally, they can heal.

Azula still suffers from nightmares. But now, she has Katara by her side, rushing to her side whenever she wakes up screaming. Sweet, protective Katara rubs her forehead with her soothing hand, promising Azula that her water will only protect Azula from now on.

Azula knows at this point she loves Katara. She thinks Katara loves her too. But like water and fire, they keep dancing around each other. It also doesn't help that Katara is still with Aang, even if Katara these days doesn't care much for him.

Rest would be continue in next part! If someone wants to take these headcannons up as fanfic ideas, feel free to do so!!

[samithemunchkin]

Keegan and Sage headcanons

ok ok I've finally sort of thought of few. Just generic headcanons and set in the fics I've written with them. Still have no idea what I'm doing, pls I'm so open for any questions, suggestions anything at all. Don't know if I should do a relationship headcanon one.

Keegan

Horrible childhood, still haven’t figured it out fully because I keep veering into the same ideas I already have for Mitchell and I wAnT iT tO bE different

Ran away when he was 15, he might have been lanky but already tall and being abused made him pass as an 18 year old so he could enlist

Operation Sand Viper was his first actual mission, kinda got assigned by accident but they were lacking manpower and didn’t look too closely who they sent

Pretty much had an absolute meltdown once the fighting died down and Rorke was the one who found him first 

Trauma bonding and admiration and boom, Keegan felt like Rorke acted way more like an actual father than his own ever had

Rorke found out his actual age but instead of outing him, he offered to find him a place in the Marines to get a few more years of actual training under his belt before he’d let Keegan join Ghosts full time

During Operation Return to Sender, Rorke had made Keegan attend some mandated Marine training, idk quite how it all works but completing it would make him a sergeant, hence why he wasn’t with the rest of them.

And boy did that leave him with terrible guilt/anger/even more trauma

Became more stoic and withdrawn after that

Man hasn’t probably eaten a single home cooked meal in his life, doesn’t know what healthy eating means, would probably hiss at vegetables and fruits. He’s lived fine on bland mush and MRE’s so far and would be a giant baby about trying actual foods

Craves physical touch, pats on the back, hugs, will inwardly melt at praise but doesn’t exactly know how to express that need

Human furnace

Hates his scars

Adores cats, will try to befriend all the strays at whatever base he’s at

Also likes dogs

Basically any animal tbh, likes how he doesn’t have to talk to them, just his attention and affections are enough

Does not want to lead, hates the pressure and responsibilities, it’s why he’s never wanted to raise in rank any higher than a sergeant

Touchy drunk but there are three stages of it, beer makes him loose and touchy, hard alcohol makes him touchy and horny, red wine will make him touch the ground because his legs stop working

Sage

Grew up on a farm, had a few horses and had fully planned to follow her parents’ footsteps and take over the farm at one point, even went to agriculture school and all

But after graduation she decided to enlist to the US Army

Little brother also in the army

Got injured pretty badly during one mission, haven’t really figured out the exact scenario but her actions saved her unit and/or civilians or something, while she was recovering Elias contacted her to ask her if she’d like to join his team

Whatever the mission was, it involved some bad people that still live so as to protect her family, she asks Elias if her file and all records of her service can be destroyed, hence why she only goes by her call sign

Quiet but friendly and sarcastic 

Analyses everything. And I mean everything, always thinking, observing, notices minuscule details

Quickly becomes someone who everyone go to for advice or just to talk

Likes to tinker and do things with her hands, if there’s any renovation needed to be done at any base they’re at she’s more than willing to help out on her free time

Is not used to touch but doesn’t flinch away from it either

Also loves animals, they had plenty of them on the farm

Has absolutely horrid circulation, is always freezing and it only gets worse once she starts taking medications for her ataxia

Has always been a bit of accident prone

Has a big indent on her right thigh from being kicked by horses on it twice. There’s just basically a hole in her thigh muscle with raised edges

Likes how the team feels like a family but it’s constantly vary that bad things can happen at any time to any of them so she’s almost afraid to enjoy it fully

No matter how much she drinks alcohol, she will not appear drunk. She can be black out drunk and none would be the wiser until she pukes or manages to pass out on her bed. Not a chance that she’d let herself pass out anywhere else

[spiteless-xo]

IM GONNA RAMBLE!! im so glad sasha was asking the real questions 😭 thats why she should’ve been there earlier 🤨 but anywho.. djshdh i was wondering since there’s 5 chapters left are we going to find out who she’s with on the final chapter ? idk i feel like based on this chapter it kinda sounds like it’s gonna be eren? but reader is so unpredictable it’s still not obvious to me.. OR WAIT 💡☝️ i don’t think you’re gonna answer that question so i’ll just theorize LMAO ok so i’ve seen other people mention this but maybe she IS gonna go on that little trip or vacation and then there’s gonna be a time skip because i do think at this point, the three of them need space from all this drama and to work themselves out. like maybe she shouldn’t be jumping into a relationship rn? IDK I THINK THATS WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN. maybe that’s also why eren didn’t answer, like she took too long deciding and he’s gonna be taking a break for himself too to actually work on himself.

i think throughout the story i started off as team eren and then i kept switching until the both of them made me go like 🥴. but that doesn’t mean i loved your writing any less. i think once i stopped being on “teams” lol i still appreciated that you made everyone with a lot of flaws and drama. eren would’ve been perfect minus the whole misogyny thing obvi. and if i HAD to choose only between him and jean, the only reason why i would choose jean rather than eren is because he at least wasn’t doing what eren was doing. but that’s the ONLY reason. jean just isn’t as charming or romantic 😭 he’s too dry for me (i’m sorry)

if this was real life, i don’t think anyone would ever forgive eren even if it was in the past or if he “changed” but bc it’s fiction i guess that’s why some people are being more lenient? omgjfgk but i wishh sometimes that we could have had a story with eren except not with this type of drama LMAO you wrote him being romantic TOO well. like i was in love *twirls hair, kicks feet* ANYWAYS GREAT CHAPTER AS ALWAYS tuesdays are my favorite days because of you! 🤍

omg ty so much for sending this in!! hehehe i loved reading all of it 🥰💗

tbaw ramblings below

yes, you'll find out in the final chapter! the final chapter is also ridiculously long in order to flesh out the endings for everyone. i thought about splitting it up into two chapters but there's not really a good "cut off" point. and i don't want to drag out the ending.

to me, it's like when the final episode is an hour-long special or whatever for the finale lol that's like the final chapter of tbaw. atm it's a little bit longer than the jean fucking kirstein chapter.

forgiveness is a really interesting concept to me. it doesn't really help the person you're forgiving (in this case, eren), because they still have to carry the guilt of what they've done, but it kinda frees you, in a way.

you can forgive someone without allowing them a place in your life. it doesn't mean you trust them or you like them or whatever, it just means that you're not going to let what they did continue to hurt you.

forgiving eren doesn't make him a good person. it's what he does and how he lives the rest of his life that determines whether or not he's learned from his past and reader doesn't necessarily have to be in his life after she forgives him.

idk if that makes sense? i'm also a generally pretty forgiving person, so i'm pretty lenient lol but i also understand that there are things that are completely unforgivable, but i'm just rambling now so i'll stop lol

anyway i'm glad you're liking the story!! 💗💗💗

[hakongin]

Finally got to finishing this one.

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

System default, sometimes Calibri, and sometimes Courier New. I’m basic.

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

Editing would be a lot harder for me but it would be possible. It’d just take longer and there would be a lot more spelling mistakes since when I write fast on paper, I skip letters lol

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

It’s cursed because it’s inconsistent. I just sit somewhere and go at it blindly, swinging into the night.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Good Feral: substantiate, cleave, resounding

Bad Feral: X Colour-haired/eyed + using male or female to describe a person (eg. Green-eyed male). Please don’t do this. The characters you write are so much more than being dehumanizing monikers and a single crayon colour lmao. The only way I will not immediately close your story tab and leave to read something less annoying is if you were writing through the eyes of a robot that has no other ways of understanding the world around them.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

My superstition is JUST DO IT. You are your only limit to success.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

That I’m misinterpreted or that I’m actually just bad at it all along

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

When the cute/awesome/neat stuff happens.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I’d love writing a story without dialogue that focuses entirely on setting up and executing a scene with atmosphere. Remember I really like Steinbeck novels lmao

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Yes, although the ones we get on YouTube and whatever are fake.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

By haunted I hope this means I think about a lot. There’s been lots that have. Herman Melville and Markus Zusak live rent free in this house. There’s been one fic I wrote that I come back to when I think about what I want to convey in the world. It just means I want to come back to expressing certain ideas/themes because they’re ideas/themes that are important to me. There was also a fic that got me interested in writing, but it’s been lost to the internet since it’s at least 20 years old by now.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Not necessarily. I find that my darlings I want to keep around because then I get to torture them some more. Rather, I murder my darlings’ friends and family :P Murder is so quick and easy- it’s so much worse to live with guilt for the rest of your life.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Focus to finish.

Clarity in voice.

Great sequences.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Everything’s hard :P. I don’t find anything particularly harder to write than others, it’s more about what I know and what I don’t. If somebody asked me to write something about a character I don’t know I’d have a terrible time with it until I learned about them.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

There are two copies of the Suikoden III manga I had that somebody else has, much to my infinite dismay. I won’t get them back.

I also have a copy of a book somebody gave me that I didn’t return, and now we’re not talking anymore lol.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

In workhorse copies, I dog ear pages, read with food in front of me, etc. I’ve highlighted old textbooks with zero shame (hooray buying most of your textbooks used).

However, if I buy a “nice copy” of a book, eg. One of those expensive hardcover collector’s editions kinda affairs, I don’t let anybody touch. A cheap softcover is a workhorse copy, and if I’m buying a sexy hardcover it’s because I’ve read it before and enjoyed it.

I don’t judge anyone on their habits if I can help it. It’s their property!

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Hotel keypass? Receipt paper? Shoelaces? Idk my choices are pretty tame.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I’m stuck working on a terribly worded and long-winded timeline to help organize events. It’s as detailed as I need it to be to just extract as much of the junk rolling around in my head and slamming it onto page. I don’t show it to anyone publicly though.

The other thing that I have on the docket is a spicier glimpse into an OC scenario. There’s no actual room for something like it in the narrative as it stands, but it’s nice to think about.

I also have a fic I drafted for my friend’s birthday that desperately needs a couple more context scenes to make it fuller and a couple rewrites. It needs distilling XD

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Passage:

Her unease from being watched gradually slipped away, replaced with the faint scent of his last cigarette and the sensation of his words falling down the length of her neck.

“It’s a pretty easy one, if you know what you’re looking for.”

I wanted to write something sexy without the actual sex stuff happening yet. Just an exercise in tension and all that.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I don’t have an exact time when I started. I was young, and I’m pretty sure it was for an elementary school project. I found my voice a fair bit later in my mid-teens (as many do) reading and writing bad fan fiction. There’s always been bumps as there is with anything. After an extended mania period where I wrote a couple hundred thousand words worth of content, I dried up for about 2.5-3 years. Rough time, but I’m working through it.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Eternal happiness. Because being happy means you have the safety and motivation to finish a WIP to whatever level you want it to be. Journey, not destination. :P

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

That 3ish year stint made me think I really had. But, it came back eventually. Thinking about stuff/postulating theories and all that is how a person understands the world. Despite not being well I never stopped thinking and wondering, and eventually that thinking got me to making stuff again.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I’m fairly organized with planning notes and i like to think I’m meticulous when it comes to organizing scenes.

When it comes to actually writing them down somewhere though, I am not organized at all. I’ve used any of the following to Get Shit Down: My phone (apps), my computer, taking pictures from notebooks I scribble on, taking pictures from post-it notes, carrying said post-it notes or notebook scraps around, backs of receipts, my hand(s) and at least one time I wrote on a plastic bus ticket and a napkin.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I write in two places.

In bed. I’ve varied from pulling the blankets up over my lap or just balancing my laptop or notebook on my legs while writing/editing. Most of the time it’s early in the day or in the dead of night. If I’m writing in the day I open the blinds to my right or I have them half open, and the colour from the curtains changes the tint of the light that comes in. At night, I’ll usually hear the overnight freight trains or cluttering/pattering from people on their commutes home or just staggering in. Sometimes I’ve heard groundskeepers drag their wheelbarrows, and they almost never are gentle when they pull it down the stairs by my window. My room has an overcrowded bookshelf because I’ve run out of space or haven’t gotten rid of the materials I don’t read as much or anymore; it’s well dusted and clean, but the shelves themselves are worn and have been banged up from whacking against walls or just getting hit on the bottom edges from the head of a vacuum cleaner.

At my desk. I have a kitchen chair I dragged out to the office because I can’t afford an office chair yet. It’s uncomfortable to sit in but I compensate by routinely standing if it means to stretch my legs every hour or two. The desk is too small to fit two people adequately but I make do by crunching up my body as much as possible to not take up space. The desk itself is a cheap knockoff of a more known brand that I bought off a discount website, and while it isn’t glamorous by any stretch of the definition and is way too hard to rest your elbows on because of its material, it serves its purpose. I don’t always have a drink next to me when I write here, but if I do it’s usually tea or water. I tend to sit here when it’s earlier in the day, just after breakfast and the sun has probably risen. If I’m here when the sun has already set, the lighting in the rest of the room is still not bright enough and I haven’t located a suitable desk lamp yet, so often the glow of the screens compensates and makes my eyes hurt.

24.How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

Prep? Do you mean writing outlines, storyboards, the like? I do lots of prep then. For any piece, short or long, I want to figure out what I want to express and roughly how I want to express it. This can come in a key phrase or keywords to theme the scene(s) around, or some kind of main motif I want to stick to. For longer projects I like to outline at least the order of scenes and a rough idea of how a scene begins and ends before transitioning to the next. Some side research might have to be done just to figure out the mechanics of how something actually works, especially if I can’t theorize it on my own. I really enjoy planning and doing research. Drafting I struggle with, but for establishing and building a narrative I have a great time doing this kind of work.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

I have no place to fit any of this in that isn’t a 3 second shitpost:

Raine really loves chickens and has a pet chicken.

Takumi is afraid of dogs.

Gen practices speaking in the mirror even though he hates looking at his own reflection.

Dwayne is actually really good at riding horses and ranching.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I never regret writing disturbing material, although there might be times I need to take a breather to not dwell on it for too long. Knowing me though, I have a hard time letting go so it can sometimes take several days unless something else knocks me out of it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

So once upon a time I wrote Castlevania hcs on this website. The experience and IRL events wrecked me so hard I can't enjoy it on its own yet. I'm hopeful I will, someday, but it's definitely not now.

For characters that are mine that stress me out, tbh none of them really do? There's ones I know less, but that just means I need to work on them.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

I’m fond of writing my two hyperfixations Raine and Dwayne. They're a good culmination of all the things I've enjoyed about other OCs in my library.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Media: Movies, Books, Video Games, Music. Life events. Stuff I’m preoccupied with. Current events. The exact thing I could be drawing from can and has varied. When I run dry in one direction, I start foraging in another. Am I running out of steam writing about the real estate crisis? Ok, time to look into atomic energy instead. Or space ships. Or Breaking Bad. :P

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I’ve had dreams that I write down if they were particularly interesting. I’ve taken some imagery if I can clearly remember it to see if that’s something I may want to develop more. It doesn’t really impact anything I’m doing all that much though, all things considered.

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

Do you read my stuff? Wow thanks. I’d appreciate it if you let me know if you liked it or not. And why, if that’s ok. I’m always up for learning more and feedback is good. Have a good day.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I had to double check on this one because the novel itself has so many solid bangers, but this one from The Book Thief rocks:

“A small but noteworthy note. I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me.”

It’s terrifying and true and I can’t tear my eyes away from it. I love that Death in the story carries this soft, solemn energy in everything he says. He’s seen it all (tm).

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I draw and do photography. I’m a very visual person so that always takes precedent before dialogue in my writing. I like setting the scene/framing a picture/building composition, etc.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

I prefer using it for the end of a list as it shows what is directly related to each item. If you combine the last two it could be interpreted as the last two items being counted as one unit. Could.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

I actually enjoy Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules for Writing lol

One of those rules is to avoid using adverbs to modify “said” when writing dialogue. I get why he’d say it, I just personally don’t believe in that one completely. Like don’t go overboard with adverbs only since you start losing track of what you actually want to say, but otherwise go nuts. Make it yours. Give your sentences flavour.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

I know enough about Diamond Hands that it causes me physical pain to hodl this information

I also know a decent amount about weaponry. The thing is though is that I am smart enough to know that I do not know everything about any subject whatsoever.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

“this guy really loves swords, women that can bench press a car, unhinged dirges on the decline of Americana, and space monsters” - a future historian, probably

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

I can and have storyboarded a scene if I’m having problems drafting.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

If I’m unable to paint a picture, I’ve only got words left to use.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

From ‘As I look Back’ by Jim Morrison:

After 4 yrs. I’m left w/ a

mind like a fuzzy hammer

Milton’s youth—

will I get a

chance to write my Paradise Lost

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[diedbrave]

Someone who had grown up thinking that he didn’t even deserve the bare minimum, Bill knew that look well. The feeling of guilt that sometimes came from something as simple as just being happy. Or planning a trip the way they were now. All he could do was hope that it wouldn’t put a damper on their vacation. If there was one thing that the author didn’t feel guilty about, it was spoiling Eddie. Nothing was too much for the man he loved and he couldn’t ever bring himself to feel guilty about doing anything for Eddie. Whatever his lover wanted Bill would provide. It was never an obligation for him, he just felt so lucky that he was the one that was able to do it.

“Schedule as much as you need to just as long as you remember to relax and have some fun while we’re gone, okay? No matter what, you won’t be back to square one.” Bill asked teasingly, grinning at the brunette. He didn’t take the other man’s work lightly, but he did think that his lover needed some time away. To take a break once in a while without worrying about what was going on at the office. Although he was acutely aware that worrying was a big part of who Eddie was. But maybe he could just worry about where they might eat for dinner that night or something. “I get wanting to be sure, babe, but you said it. You trust your team. They’re a great team because you’re a wonderful boss.”

Blue eyes remained fond as he took in the shy look on the other’s face. There wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. In all honesty, the writer thought it was cute. Mostly the look on Eddie’s face as he would happily eat anything sweet. That was the adorable part of his love for dessert. Grinning into the kiss, Bill watched dreamily as the brunette continued to enjoy his sweet treat. “And I am so happy that you allow yourself to enjoy it.” Because Bill knew just how much Eddie cared about his health and everything that went with that. He couldn't stop himself from leaning in for another kiss. “I’ll do my best to keep it that way.”

____________________________

“Okay, okay, but what if I schedule in some free time. Does that count then? Or is that breaking the rules, too?” At least if he figured out what times he would be available while they were away in order to just relax, he might actually follow through and do it. He knew that Bill was very much a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type, and he wondered how he could possibly end up with someone as neurotic as himself. Yet they made it work, they always had. The yin to each other’s yang. Eddie would keep Bill on task and stop him from fading into dreamland, while Bill would bring him down to Earth again. 

“I just know there’s so much I want to see. You’ve gotten to see a lot of it in your career, but I just saw so much smog and New York skyline. I don’t know how you’re going to hold me back from doing it all and running myself ragged.” He waved a bit of the cake that was on his fork in the air as he talked, but Bill knew exactly how to find his sweet spot - both figuratively and literally. And physically, but that was an entire different discussion. He stole every kiss that was given to him, fork finally forgotten as he wrapped his arms around Bill and crawled into his lap. 

“Maybe we should make a deal of some sorts.” He cooed, resting his head on the other’s shoulder, even though Bill was the shorter of the two. “Every time I start to go off the rails and stress out when I’m supposed to be on vacation, you punish me. Like....no sex for a week.” He hummed, though he backed up to look at Bill, poking him on the nose. “Pretty sure that would be punishment for you too, though.” 

@scribedhorror 

[inkandpen22]

Chaotic as The Sea (3/?)

Pairing: Jack Sparrow x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3k Warning: swearing, violence Part Summary: The Black Pearl arrives in Bimini and as any adventure with Jack Sparrow, there’s chaos

Masterlist

Two days later... 

Will

We arrive at Bimini as the sun begins to set. Y/N and Barbosa argue that we should wait until sunrise to explore the island. I argue that we can't waste another minute without trying to rescue Elizabeth. Jack, to my surprise, agrees that we shouldn't wait. Though, I think his reasoning is because he wants to see the fountain. 

Barbosa, Jack, Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel, Y/N, and I all hop off the boat to explore the island. Gibbs, Will, and Pintel all carry long torches for us as the only sources of light. 

"Okay, so I know the general direction, but unless you feel like risking the chance of getting lost, which I don't, I suggest we use the compass," Y/N announces. 

"I thought you were certain of the fountain's location," Barbosa remarks a tad agitated. 

"Every tree and speck of white sand look exactly the same. Next trip, I'll drop your ass in a jungle in the middle of the night and tell you to find your way out!" She snaps. 

"Okay, well then let's use the compass." Ragetti takes the compass of Jack's belt and hands it to Y/N. 

The device begins to spin in her hand and Ragetti peeks over her shoulder. Jack quietly moves to stand beside her, wishing to catch a glimpse of himself. 

Abruptly, Y/N shuts the compass and frantically tries to get rid of it. "Oh uh, no it's okay, Jack can take it." She tosses it to him. 

"Me?" He looks at her wide-eyed and panicky. "No, give it to Will! He wants to find the bloody place." He tosses it to me. 

"What's wrong with you two?" Barbosa yells in frustration. 

"The compass doesn't work for them," I state. 

"Seriously!" Y/N huffs. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Barbosa questions. 

"When Jack holds it the arrow points to Y/N," I explain pointing between them. 

"Who told you that!" Jack questions. 

Then, Jack and Y/N both glare at Gibbs. "Gibbs!" They bark in unison. 

The older man holds up his hands in surrender. 

"Well, why can't Y/N do it?" Pintel questions timidly, circling his hands together. 

"Why can't Will just bloody do it and we can move on!" The woman challenges. 

Jack nods. "I'm with her on this one." 

I sigh. "When Y/N holds it, it points toward whatever she wants so bad in New France." 

"But isn't New France North of here?" Ragetti questions. 

"Yes!" The rest of us answer in unison. 

His face scrunches together in confusion. "But uh-" 

Y/N elbows Ragetti in the ribs. "Shut it!" She's quick to change the subject. "Let's go! Will! I'll lead the way, you just act as a checker." 

_______________________________________________

30 minutes later... 

Y/N

As the seven of us continue to march through the thick jungle, Jack appears beside me. "After we're finished in New France. I say you and I pay a visit to Tortuga for old time's sake." 

I laugh. "Ha! Wish to relive our break-up?" 

"Think of it as a celebration of our reunion," he tries to sugarcoat it. 

I roll my eyes, laughing as I move ahead to join Will up front. "In your dreams!" 

Ragetti

I pick up my pace to catch up with Pintel. "I know something you don't know!" 

"What?" He eagerly asks. 

"When Y/N was holding the compass, the arrow was pointing toward her," I whisper. 

His face scrunches together. "Y/N desires herself?" 

"No!" I huff. "Jack was standing next to her!" 

He gasps, putting it all together. "So you mean-" 

"Yes!" 

He grins. "That's kinda sweet actually." 

Y/N

"Now be careful!" I announce to the men, watching my step as we get closer to the mountainside. "The natives made pit traps and other boobytraps-" 

Before I can finish my warning. Jack screams from the back of the group. When I whip my head around, Jack is nowhere to be seen. "For idiots like Jack," I sigh. 

"Does anyone see him?" Will questions, moving his torch around. 

"It's kind of dark!" Gibbs remarks. 

"Thank Jack and Will for that! They refused to wait until morning," I grumble, marching back to where I last saw Jack.  

"Jack!" We all call in a scatter as we search. 

"Captain!" Gibbs shouts. 

We all watch our steps, checking the heavily covered jungle floor and sky for any sign of him. He could be hanging from a tree in a net or in a hole somewhere. If it's deep enough and well covered, it'll be hard to hear him.

"This is ridiculous!" Gibbs huffs. 

"I say we leave him and tell the crew some natives got him," Barbosa suggests.  

"I have an idea," I announce as one pops into my head. "Give me the compass," I ask Will, holding out my head. 

"But how will that help?" He questions with a raised brow. 

I hold the compass in my palm and lift the lid. I watch as the arrow spins. Soon, each of the men are gathered around me in a circle, eager to catch a glimpse. Then, the arrow stops, pointing Southeast. The men break apart, allowing me to follow it. 

"Watch your step," I advise. 

I keep a close eye on the arrow, making sure it doesn't change direction. I'm about to take another step when Will suddenly grabs my arm. I glance ahead and realize there's a massive pit in front of me. Its edges were covered in leaves and brush. 

"Oh, thanks," I exhale deeply. 

"Captain! You down there?" Gibbs shouts down below, holding a torch above the massive pit. 

I kneel down beside the pit and await an answer. 

There's a faint, "Am I dead?" 

I giggle and shout back. "No, you're not dead you idiot!" 

"Pintel! Ragetti! Go fetch a rope from the ship!" Barbosa commands, sending the two off. 

I laugh, relieved that Jack is okay. Based on the distant swooshing sound, the pit is filled with water thankfully, not spikes. This could've been a recovery mission. I sit back on my knees and glance up to find the remaining three men staring at me with knowing grins. 

"What!" I sass, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Nothing," they all say, breaking apart to roam in different directions. 

I roll my eyes, such nosy people, pirates. 

____________________________________________

The men work together, yanking Jack up from the bottom of the pit. I remained to kneel beside the edge, holding up a torch so we can see Jack when he pops up. 

"Ho!" Barbosa calls out as they tug the robe. "Ho!" 

Soon, Jack appears from within the darkness and I grip his belt, guiding him to safety. The men release the rope and relax, releasing panting breaths. 

"You okay? Captain!" Gibbs questions. 

"Yeah," Jack flips onto his back, catching his breath, "yeah, I should be fine. How did you-" His eyes flicker about until his eyes land on the compass on the ground beside me. 

"Ah, now that's interesting." A cheeky smirk begins to form on his face as he lifts his gaze to meet mine. 

I shove him in the shoulder, frustrated. "I told you to watch where you were going!" He has no idea how worried I was. 

"I was a tad distracted by you, Love," he chuckles. 

My eyes fall shut as I release a sigh of relief. Thank God, he's okay. 

Jack places his hand on my thigh, capturing me by surprise. His dark eyes meet might and I place my hand over his. He flips his over and they interlock in my lap. His eyes soften at the sight. 

Suddenly, there's a series of yells from across the jungle. Each of us tosses our heads to the side and sees small glimmers of light in the distance. Jack flies up beside me from his laid position. 

"Are they with us?" He questions. 

There's the ring of a gunshot and the bullet hits the tree right by Barbosa's head. 

"Don't think so!" Will declares, his voice shaky. 

"Who are they?" I shout. 

"Wait! They're Black Beard's men! I remember one of them. He's the one who took Elizabeth!" Will determines. 

“How did they find the fountain?” Barbosa yells. 

“He knew you’d come and find me!” I comprehend and look over at Jack. “He’s been following us here!” 

Pintel and Ragetti immediately make a run for it. 

“I’m with them, time to go!” Will decides and starts to run back to the ship. 

Jack takes my hand and instantly brings me to my feet. We begin to run too, hand in hand. 

“Cowards!” Barbosa shouts and stands his ground. He whips out his gun and begins to shoot at the mob. “Come and get it you slimy gits! Ha!” He laughs. 

Running utterly blind in the dark jungle, there’s hardly any light other than that that can make it through the tree tops from the moon. We make it through the jungle and see the beach a few yards ahead. Will and the two morons make a bee-line for the ship, when they’re suddenly stopped by a cluster of Blackbeard’s men running from down the beach. Jack pulls me into his side and draws his sword.

 Suddenly, I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and I’m yanked away from Jack. He immediately whips around and his eyes grow wide. My back slams into someone’s chest and I struggle to free myself. More of Blackbeard’s men appear from within the jungle and begin to fight Jack. Two men begin to drag me off and I fling around, trying to break free. 

"Jack!" I scream. “Let me go you bastards!” 

Jack searches for me and when he finally spots me, he screams. "No!" He looks at me pleading and full of guilt. 

As more of Blackbeard’s men appear, we both quickly realize there’s nothing either of us can do. These morons are taking me to their ship, more than likely to see their captain and to be held prisoner. This is yet another reunion I did not request. 

______________________________________

After sailing out to the Queen Anne's Revenge a couple hundred yards from the island, the nasty men take me aboard and immediately drag me off to the captain’s quarters. They swing open the double doors below top deck and we enter a familiar red velvet decorated office. 

A tall man stands behind the desk with his back to us. "And who do we have here?" A familiar voice purrs. When he spins around, his grin falls to confusion. "Y/N?" 

"I told you! Idiots!" I huff and yank my arms free from his buffoons."Hi, Eddie," I offer a fake smile.

"Eddie?" The pair beside me repeat in unison. 

The captain pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "How many times must I tell you?" 

"You could hand me the Templar Treasure yourself, I won't call you Blackbeard. It's stupid," I laugh, approaching him. 

"Leave us," he commands his minions. Once we’re allow, he moves to stand the other side of his desk. He props himself against it with a grin. "So, you and Jack are back together again..." 

"No way in hell," I snicker, taking a look about his office. He’s changed it in the last five years. "He promised me he knew where the Templar Treasure was, I'm simply completing my half of the deal." 

"Which is?" He inquires. 

I stop my admiring of his decor to meet his gaze. "Showing him to the fountain." 

"You would honestly betray me like that?" He acts offended my placing his hand against his chest. 

"If it guaranteed me the Holy Grail? Yes,” I stand firm. 

"Your loyalties still lie with that treasure? You truly are a pirate at heart,” he smirks. He rises from his position on the desk to pour us chalices of wine. As he approaches me, his eyes travel up and down my entirety. "Dare I say, you look amazing." 

I accept the wine, but roll my eyes at his compliment. "Oh save it.” 

He pouts dramatically. "What happened to the spirited eighteen-year-old I first met?” He reaches up and tucks strands of my hair behind my ear. “You're bitter now." 

I lift my arm and knock his hand away from me. "It's called maturing." 

"Have you matured enough to conclude that I'm the better man than Jack?" He smirks, stepping closer to me. 

I move away from him and toward the book case against the far wall behind his desk. "I think I prefer neither of you,” I answer over my shoulder. 

"One point, if I recall correctly, there was a point where you couldn't choose between us." He narrows his eyes, taking a sip of his wine as he creeps closer to me again. "Do you remember those few months in Bermuda?" 

I shift of my heels, allowing my eyes to fall to the Persian rug beneath them. "It was always going to be him, Eddie..." 

Abruptly, he rushes toward me and pins me against the bookcase. My wine falls out of my hand and stains the rug. "I could've had you if I wanted!" He growls. 

I look him dead in the eyes with a clenched jaw. "You dare threaten me!” 

He laughs mockingly. "What? Going to curse me?" 

I grin. "That used to terrify you if I recall correctly." 

"You're all bark and no bite. I happen to know for a fact, you don't practice dark magic!" He challenges. 

"Just because I don't practice it, doesn't mean I don't know how to use it.”  

There’s a commotion outside and soon the double doors swing open to reveal Jack marching in, gun drawn. While Eddie is distracted I pick up a vase off one of the shelves near me and I knock him over the head with it. The vase shatters into a hundred pieces over his head and the man falls to the ground with a thud at my feet. My chest rises and falls rapidly as I meet Jack’s gaze. His eyes flicker away from the man knocked out on the floor and up to me. 

"I hate that I'm relieved to see you," I pant. 

He runs over to me and takes my hand. "Consequence of loving me." He guides me over to one of the windows and swings it open. “Can you jump?” 

I look at him as though he as three heads. “Can you jump? What kind of dumb question is that?” I mock. Then, I ask him a similar dumb question. “I don’t know Jack, can you swim?” I roll my eyes and climb up onto the windowpane and jump out. 

“Jesus, Mary, and the bloody camel sorry for asking!” I hear him grumble under his breath as climbs out the window and jumps in after me. 

___________________________________

Jack

We’re not sure how we’ll get Elizabeth back, but we will. Though, I suspect that he was never after the fountain. No, what he truly wanted was Y/N and the fountain was just a cover-up. I brought her right to him. For now, we just need to create some distance between us so we can form a plan. 

Y/N climbs the ladder above me and Gibbs helps her on board. She offers him a thank you and brushes herself down. The crew is well into their tasks, getting us far from this island as soon as possible. 

“Glad to see you’re safe, Miss,” Gibbs greets. 

“Did everyone make it back okay?” She questions as I climb aboard. 

“Yes, even I,” Barbosa announces with a proud grin. “Not with the help of you lot,” he adds. 

“Don’t exactly have a death wish,” she giggles. 

“There’s a change of clothes for you in the Captain’s office,” Gibbs informs her. 

She offers him thanks and begins toward my quarters. Barbosa and Gibbs break apart to return to their positions. 

“You! Hold it!” I call out. 

The two men glance in my direction, wondering who I’m speaking to. They follow my gaze to Y/N. 

She whips her head around, her gorgeous, long, wavy, Y/H/C flowing in the breeze. She crosses her arms over chest. “Excuse me?” She scoffs with a grin forming on her lips. 

I narrow my gaze at her. “I have one question.” 

Barbosa and Gibbs watch the interaction, their heads tilting back and forth between us with each exchange. The crew too watches as they attempt to multitask with their duties. Her eyes remain on the deck panels and anywhere else but me. 

“Did you know the compass would lead you to me?” I ask. 

There’s a pause and I can tell she’s reluctant to answer despite the amused expression she wears. Then, her eyes rise to meet mine with a sigh. “Yes... maybe...” 

I smirk, approaching her slowly. “Oh see now that’s interesting, don’t you think?” 

“What? Just going to gloat about the ship now?” She rolls her eyes, directing her focus in the distance away from me. 

I bring my hands up to her cup her face and make her meet my gaze. To my surprise and pleasure, she doesn’t move from her spot or shove me away. Instead, brings her fingers to hook through the loops of belt. 

“You stay with me from now on. No more hiding out.” I smirk. “That’s an order,” I tease quietly between us. 

“Whatever you say...” Her eyes fall to my lips and then flicker back to my eyes. She grins. “Captain.” 

One my hands slips behind her head to her neck and I bring my lips to meet hers in a needy kiss. Her arms fling over my shoulders, deepening the kiss. 

“Now they’re going to be insufferable!” I hear Barbosa grumble to Gibbs as he stomps off. 

Five years of searching for her, waiting for, wondering if I’ll ever see her again. What happened between us all those years ago is one of my greatest regrets if not the biggest. Our relationship has never been easy, in fact it’s exceedingly complicated and one giant headache. We haven’t stopped arguing since the moment we met and rarely agree on anything. Yet, we love as we do argue with each other, passionately and with everything we have. Now that I have Y/N back and I know she loves me in return, I’m never letting her go. God help me if I let Blackbeard anywhere near her. 

_______________________________

Masterlist

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[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

➴ are we supposed to share a bed?

pairings: sawamura daichi, ryūnosuke tanaka, koshi sugawara, tsukishima kei, tadashi yamaguchi, shoyo hinata, tobio kageyama, yu nishinoya, asahi azumane x gn! reader (karasuno boys)

warnings: none! pure fluff hehe <3

KARASUNO BOYS WITH THE FANFIC TROPE: THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED (...and a couch.)

KEI TSUKISHIMA

good luck on trying to get him to go to sleep comfortably on the bed.

“i’ll sleep on the couch,” he deadpans, and flops over onto the cushion that is clearly too small for him. tsukishima stays there, caught up in his thoughts for a while. tossing and turning on the bed, his head nearly falling off the arm rests and his ankles sticking out in an uncomfortable position. 

after a long day of practice, you nearly fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. the only thing preventing you from getting a good night’s rest is the sounds of the couch’s old springs shrieking and creaking. “tsukishima, you should just lie down here instead... it’s a lot more comfortable anyway.”

you can hear him scoff with his head buried under a throw pillow. “no.”

there was really no way of getting through to him, was there?

but the problem was, right before you were about to fall asleep, right as your eyelids got heavy and you were finally about to go into a blissful sleep for the first time in months, tsukishima would keep moving around

you didn’t mean to be this cranky. you were exhausted. “tsuki, c’mon. you sound uncomfortable. sleep here.”

tsukishima immediately stopped moving. for a moment, you thought he might come and join you. he doesn’t.

but eventually, when he’s so uncomfortable to the point where he can’t stop tossing and turning and you’re sound asleep, he’ll crawl into bed with you WAYYY later. no way is he going to snuggle in bed with you while you’re still awake.

instead, with his body heavy from lack of sleep, he lies down next to you, praying that you don’t wake up, and falls asleep like a light.

you wake up with his arms wrapped around you.

TADASHI YAMAGUCHI

precious!! little!! baby!!

tadashi will say he prefers the couch-- not because he doesn’t like you, he’s just afraid of the actual part of sleeping next to you. he’s watched enough movies to know what happens when the two characters fall asleep on the same bed. they wake up, hand-in-hand, completely flustered-- and tadashi is convinced that he’d combust if that ever happened. he just wants to make sure that you’re comfortable.

“are you sure?” you ask. “you worked really hard today... and your serves were amazing! take the bed. i’ll sleep on the couch.”

tadashi shakes his head. “i-it’s okay. really.”

“mm...” you think for a moment, but then smile. “you can always sit up here with me, if you want.”

tadashi immediately wraps his arms around himself. “n-no! it’s okay! really! i wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable...”

you smile playfully. “don’t worry about it. i don’t mind, i know you wouldn’t do anything weird. come on. i’m tired, you’re tired, let’s just go to bed, yeah?”

after a few more moments of talking and trying to let yamaguchi know that you genuinely don’t mind, you convince yamaguchi to sleep with you on the bed instead of him going on the ripped couch. 

he’ll be lightly hugging himself, afraid that if he outstretched his arms, they would wrap around you in his sleep. that was the last thing he wanted-- for you to feel uncomfortable around him.

(jokes on him, you two both wake up cuddling regardless)

SHOYO HINATA

without a moment’s pass, once you two settle into your rooms for the night, he throws his bags down, and DRAGS YOU DOWN WITH HIM ON THE BED

unlike the others, there’s no discussion on who goes on the couch and who goes on the bed. after games, hinata is always a little overly confident and ends up oulling you down on the bed next to him. he doesn’t even shower. he’s exhausted.

you laugh (his energy is contagious), “hinata-?? uherm don’t you wanna shower first?”

he laughs out loud, stretching his arms out. “but i’m exhausteeedddd!”

he fluffs the pillows in an insanely cute way and goes, “okay. i can sleep on the left side, you can sleep on the right so that we don’t crash into each other during the night. is that okay?”

you nod. hinata smiles before changing (and then he goes to rinse off) and plops onto bed, snuggling under the covers. he’ll casually get out his phone and scroll through the feed, maybe play a couple of games, and casually talk about his day with you, until he realizes that you didn’t respond.

he peered over, finding that you were sleeping.

he smiles softly, before the idea that he had actually JUST nonchalantly slept with you next to him, your face only a few inches away from his, and the realization finally settles in as his face burns against his pillow.

TOBIO KAGEYAMA

"I mean... If you want."

kageyama says that phrase at least ten times throughout the process of trying to figure out the idea of “only one bed.”

he’s trying his best not to be too aggressive or pushy around you, but it’s clear that he’s cranky and wants some sleep after a long day. his face is in a pout from exhaustion, his bags are sprawled across the floor and the last thing he looks like he wants to do is get a restless sleep on the couch.

“so uh,... do you want the couch or the bed-?” you ask. kageyama shrugs. but looking at how tired he is, his sunken eyes, and the way his knees were nearly unbuckling, you say gently, “i’m gonna take the couch.”

“okay.”

you take the couch and kageyama lies down on the bed, but exhausted as he is, a part of him is thinking with a twinge of guilt, “the couch must be really uncomfortable.. are they okay?”

so instead, kageyama peers over and finds you wrapping your arms around yourself from the couch, and he sighs, long and tired, and kind of just- STANDS over you on the couch like 🧍🏻 ...

“hey.”

you look up, confused and half-asleep. “...mmph?”

“sleep with me.”

the words tumble out before kageyama can stop them, but you’re just so heavy with sleep that you nod as if nothing had happened and flop onto the bed, your entire body sinking into the soft mattress. you wake up with a blanket wrapped around you, and kageyama on the floor from faling off.

RYUNOSUKE TANAKA

surprisingly, he has so much more respect and privacy for you than you may suspect. when tanaka enters the room, he’s lowkey kind of tense, but he sets his bags down and helps you, “uhem... do you need anything? tooth brush? tooth paste? extra blankets-?” he sees you as the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. the way he stares at you is something that no one else can compare to. 

you laugh. “nah, i’m good. but thanks!” you look around, pointing towards the couch and raising an eyebrow at how uncomfortable it looks. “you and i both had a rough day... how about we just sleep on the bed then? i-if you’re comfortable with it, that is.”

CONGRATULATIONS YOU BROKE TANAKA

this awkward blob who’s just insanely flustered because holy crow, his best friend AND crush is suggesting they both share the bed. he then flashes out a grin and a thumbs up, “alright! sounds good!”

you grin back as you two both get ready for bed and lie down.

and to confirm, he has absolutely no shame once he gets more comfortable and calm for cuddling you (with your consent BECAUSE CONSENT IS SO SEXY)

tanaka will talk about his entire day with you in such a free way. everything is so easy with him-- he constantly thinks that you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on and tries not to say it out loud every five seconds. tanaka will hold your hand and try to make you laugh multiple times just for the sake of it <3

YU NISHINOYA

"i-i can sleep on the couch! really!"

...he’s lying.

you know when you offer someone food, you know, just for the sake of being nice-- and this small part of you hopes that they don’t take the food?

that’s what nishinoya is casually saying, explaining that he can “sleep on the couch.” in reality, he just wants to cuddle next to you, hand-in-hand as you two casually talk about your day. he wants to play with your hair and kiss you and make you laugh. he wants to see you smile and cuddle you, wake up in the morning hand-in-hand as someone you can trust.

“uHmMM... okay, you can take the couch then,” you say, completely oblivious.

a small part of nishinoya dies inside with those words. “erm, okay. goodnight!!” he’s trying to sound cheerful for your sake, but he can’t help but feel disappointed.

that’s what he wanted, right? you stumble over to the bed, your legs tired and knees buckling after a long day as you pull your covers over yourself. “mm, goodnight, noya!” 

but later, you see that nishinoya is standing above the couch a lot like kageyama did-- contemplating whether or not he should speak out about wanting to go on the bed next to you or going on the couch. once he hears that you’ve stopped shuffling under your bed covers, he thinks you’re asleep and stares at you-- only to find your eyes staring into his.

he blurts the words out. “can i- i mean, only if it’s okay with you, can i sleep on the bed with you?!”

you hesitate, but then raise an eyebrow and your upper lip curls with a playful grin. “oh?”

nishinoya laughs and gives a small shrug.

“c’mere.”

KOSHI SUGAWARA

he's such a sweetheart.

sugawara knows that you work really hard to help the boys stay healthy. he knows the work you put into cleaning up and trying to decide what’s best for them and yourself. “you can pick! i don’t really mind. go ahead, do whatever you’d like.”

(a part of him is secretly begging that you choose to go with him instead on the bed. will he say that out loud? probably not, but he loves you so much and wants you to know that with every fiber in his body.)

“you can pick,” you say, for a change. there’s a moment where sugawara is surprised, but then relaxes and nods along with it. “i can, erm, sleep on the couch. if that’s easier for you,” he blushes and scratches the back of his neck. your stomach sinks. did he really want to sleep on the couch-

“but if you’re okay with it, we can both share the bed-”

“okay!” the words spill out of you before you can stop them. you clear your throat, trying to contain your excitment. “i mean. okay.”

sugawara laughs and takes your hand, and he props up the pillows (strikes me as the guy to have a playlist i am just saying) and asks you about your day. 

he will definitely end up cuddling you in his sleep. in the morning, you wake up on his chest with his arms around you, and when you look on the other side of the bed-- you’re no longer alone. a soft smile with friendly eyes is staring back at you.

“did you sleep well, princess?”

DAICHI SAWAMURA

GENTLEMAN GENTLEMAN GENTLEMAN

he knows that you're private about a lot of stuff, but he'll definitely be a lot like suga and make sure whatever happens is best for you. daichi will make sure that above all else, you feeling comfortable is top priotity. he’ll try to be a good guy for you and let you make yourself at home-- heck, he probably brought lights or something in case you were afraid of the dark because hE’S JUST THAT CONSIDERATE

daichi, out of all of them, will immediately address that he’ll take the couch first. “i’ll take the couch. it’s been a long day.”

at this point, daichi’s brain is on autopilot after so long and he just immediately assumes that you’ll take the bed. he wants you to feel as rested as possible for the next day, so daichi is just about ready to flop around the couch, when you say:

“daichi... you should take the bed-! i can go on the couch. or we could share.”

HE DOUBLE TAKES

HE DOUBLE TAKES AND ASKS YOU AGAIN

a laugh bubbles up insdie your chest (he blushes and prays you can’t see it in the dark of the night) and you drag his arm to the bed, fighting back the urge to kiss him on the nose. “sleep. you deserve it, team captain.”

he leans back, grinning. “alrighty then. get plenty of sleep. i’ll be sure to see you tomorrow morning, angel.”

ASAHI AZUMANE

HE'S SCARED

HE THINKS HES TOO INTIMIDATING OR TOO BIG AND THAT YOU'LL BE UNCOMFORTABLE

asahi is practically soluting as if speaking to a general. “i’ll take the couch!”

he’s well aware that it’s too small for him. but if it means that you don’t have to deal with the idea of sleeping in the corner of the room with cobwebs, that was good enough for him.

you nod slowly, smiling gratefully. the couch couldn’t be that bad... right?

as you cuddle into your sheets, there’s a moment wher eyou open your eyes and finally look at the back of the room, to find asahi in a strange position-- his head is falling off the armrest and his feet are dangling from the front.

he’s shuffling, changing positions, but it’s clear that he’s nervous and isn’t too sure what you think of him like this.

“come here, big guy.”

you outstretch your arms and pat the side of your bed, and he doesn’t look to sure. it’s almost beauty and the beast all over again-- just the roles are slightly edited.

“oh-hkay!” asahi smiles slightly, the tips of his ears turning pink. “are you sure?”

you nod. “sure i’m sure. now come here, ‘m sleepy.”

asahi laughs softly and lies down, trying to avoid going too much in the center in fear of taking up too much space. “hey, it’s fine.”

you wake up with his arm as a pillow and your head resting on his shoulder.

🕭 reblog | comment | like 🕭

did you take care of yourself today? you deserve to, no matter what you got done today. remember to drink water to nourish your sexc body and to give you strength!! i love you so much and i’m proud of you, and know that the hq boys would be, too! remember to get plenty of rest and do what makes you happy above all else. if you needed to hear it today, you’re valid. and you are not alone.

join my family!

tag list!!: @kirishima-my-beloved​ @xuxisushi-1​ @morias-ace @mrsbokutok​ @farfetchedparanoia​ @eunoianthia​ @missmorosis​ @tsumushima​ @moonhere​ @zatannas-wand​ @cookiewhoree​ @kozumegamecollection​​ 

☂ small little playlist for imagining scenarios in your head to help you sleep <3 ☂ 

© kirishimas-manly-eyeliner 2021. do not copy, plagerize, steal, or reuse any of my headers, themes, tags, formats or templates. please refrain from reposting onto other sites.

[bratkook]

not yet. jjk

not yet, almost, right now pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, some angst, pg-13 word count. 4.1k warnings. mentions of infidelity, some feelings come to light, unrequited pining, spur of the moment kissing, light grinding on the dance floor, jungkook pops a boner and wants to cry</3 summary. jungkook feels the pang of guilt in his gut when you spot your recent ex out with his new girl, and what better way to make the jerk hurt than to have him believe you were now dating him, the neighbor he had been insecure about your whole relationship note. this is based off a request sent a while back for numbers #43 and #67 from this prompt list! (i think this might turn into a small drabble series...mayhaps)

Jungkook can spot your discomfort easily, the occasional colorful light bouncing off your face showing him the flash of anger in your eyes. The only reason he’s not currently running for the hills, knowing very well how mean you can get when angry, is because your glare isn’t being sent at him. Not yet at least. 

Because of this, he allows himself to enjoy the cute way your nose scrunches up, lips twisting in displeasure as you stare at the crowd of people, eyes locked onto an unlucky bystander. Honestly, he wishes he could hear your thoughts, wanting to know exactly what has your panties in a bunch, ruining your mood instead of letting you enjoy the expensive fruity drink he had just bought you as payment for allowing him to drag you out of the house. Jungkook isn’t a mind reader though, so he decides on his next best option. 

“Who’s got you looking all sour?” he sighs, resting his elbow on the counter of the bar as he inches closer to you, head at your level in an attempt to match your line of sight. 

“Him,” you seethe, brows pinching together, showing those light wrinkles in between them, a product of how expressive you were and definitely something Jungkook always teases you about. 

Jungkook can only hum in question, eyes squinting in the low light as he attempts to find the him you’re talking about. With a slight turn of your head, you’re inches from Jungkook’s cheek, the obvious look of confusion etched onto his soft features letting you know he was absolutely lost. With a soft huff your fingers are gripping his cheeks and moving his face in the right direction, free hand pointing as discreetly as you could to the man in question. 

You know he spots him, you can feel his jaw tense underneath your grip. What you don’t feel is the sudden guilt that fills him up, sloshing in his stomach and mixing with the liquor he just drank until he feels a little queasy. Jungkook instantly regrets coaxing you out of your little dungeon with the promise of cheering you up. If he had known the spawn of satan–dubbed your ex boyfriend and also the reason why you were in a downward spiral–would be here, he would have just let you rot in your bed like you originally wanted. 

“Do you wanna go?” he mutters out, cheeks still squished by your slowly tightening grip, and he begins to accept the fact that you might just break his jaw right now. It’s fine, he thinks, he deserves it. 

“No,” you grunt stubbornly, fingers finally releasing him as you turn back around and choose to face the endless amount of bottles behind the bar. He may be the reason you were currently on a never ending cycle of watching sad, heartbreaking chick-flicks from the early 2000’s, dumping you with the lame excuse that you two were on different paths and he just wasn’t ready for commitment. It’s something you accepted, albeit jaw tense and eye twitching as you did so, but you figured you would eventually find your way back to each other. 

Your mind was warped, believing you were meant to be, that this was just a mere bump in the road that you would laugh at together in the future. 

That is, until he blocked you on all social media, and you had to hear from your best friend that he had moved on days later and was now with some blonde-haired, fresh faced, supermodel-esque woman that you could not get yourself to hate. Instead you took to endlessly scrolling through her instagram while you stuffed your face with milk chocolate and questioned why you had ever convinced yourself that you had a future with him. 

“Good, he’s a dick and you shouldn’t let him ruin your night.” Jungkook grumbles, slinging his arm around you as you hold your forgotten drink by your lips. He had seen your relationship with Hajoon play out from the very beginning, knowing slightly more intimate details than he would like considering you were next door neighbors and happened to share a wall between your bedrooms. 

The friendship you had with Jungkook blossomed right after you moved in four years ago, friendly neighborly talks morphing into actual conversations, and eventually inviting each other into your apartments where you would attempt to beat him at any game you had in your Nintendo switch. It was a great dynamic, providing the two of you with a sense of relief after your busy days at work. 

Unfortunately, the second you got with Hajoon was the end of any of those playful matches, your ex’s jealousy making you distance yourself in an attempt to keep your relationship at bay. 

Jungkook can’t say he didn’t see it coming, having heard the way you’d cry anytime you had an argument and your ex would leave, slamming the door behind him so hard Jungkook’s walls would rattle. It had become such a common occurence it was a shock he hadn’t marched out of his house, met Hajoon in the hall, and gave him a clean right hook in your honor. 

He was secretly hoping you’d break up with the jerk for your own good–and maybe for his own personal reasons too. Your ex was right in being wary of Jungkook, knowing the way a boy's mind worked, sensing Jungkook’s feelings for you in a way you were too blind to see. Jungkook wasn’t a dick though, he could tell you wanted your relationship to work so he kept his distance. 

When weeks went by without the sight of him he began to think you finally did it, a call for celebration that made him want to go over to your place to challenge you for a friendly match of Mario Kart like you used to. 

Until he ran into you in the hall and took note of what a mess you were, his smile falling from his face when he saw how defeated you looked. 

Your shameful confirmation that you had been royally dumped made his heart twist for you, his selfless tendencies urging him to help you feel better in any way he could. You were thankful for it, grateful that he was keeping you company while you moped around, providing you with just the right amount of distraction to allow you to breathe and slowly heal. 

Honestly, today would have been just another day if it wasn’t what was supposed to be your two year anniversary. The second Jungkook heard the telltale sounds of The Notebook starting up in your bedroom—something he hadn’t heard through the drywall separating your rooms in weeks—is when he knew something was up. 

Jump to: now. 

With Jungkook looking sheepish and wishing he had chosen another bar, and you gripping the cup so hard it was a shock it hadn’t shattered in your grasp. 

“He’s with her,” you whisper out harshly, head downcast, swirling the liquid around in your glass as you force yourself not to look back at them. The vision of them coddled up in the corner, her arms wrapped around his while she laughed at whatever he whispered in her ear had stung enough the first time, you weren’t jealous but the pain still lingered inside of you.. 

“Just try to ignore him. Don’t let it bother you,” he attempts to reassure you, the bass of the music muffling the way you try to deny the fact that you’re clearly upset, his attention now elsewhere. 

Jungkook takes a chance and looks back once more, eyes narrowed as he searches for Hajoon in the crowd. He spots him with more ease the second time, seeing the way he lazily drinks from his glass while the blonde rests her head on his shoulder, lips moving as she tells him something that makes him smile. 

“Oh shit,” Jungkook chokes, eyes widening slightly in shock when Hajoon meets his gaze. He’s been caught, too late for him to avert his eyes and pretend he wasn’t blatantly staring. He can only give him a tight-lipped smile that he hopes doesn’t come across as an invitation to come say hello. 

“What?” you question, turning to stare at Jungkook and seeing the look on his face, doe eyes swirling with a mix of emotions. 

“He saw me,” he speaks through clenched teeth, lips barely moving as he does so, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

“What?” you repeat harshly, setting the drink back down as your palms grow clammy, finger tugging at your shirt’s neckline when the air becomes thick and stuffy. 

“Oh fuck, he’s coming.” Jungkook throws back the remainder of his drink, grimacing at the burn lingering in the back of his throat before placing the cup down. “Just follow along,” he whispers into your ear, standing tall as Hajoon approaches the two of you. 

He’s ballsy, Jungkook will give him that, more so when he completely ignores Jungkook in favor of calling out your name. 

“Y/N, oh my god is that you?”

Jungkook can’t stop the way he glares at the bastard, not even the small jab to his side that you deliver with your elbow is enough to wipe the look off his face. Still, you pause to breathe, shutting your eyes briefly before plastering a look of surprise on your features as you turn around to face him. 

“Hajoon, what are you doing here?” Your voice has risen a few octaves, pitch surpassing the normal customer service voice and entering unhinged and borderline crazed territory. Hajoon doesn’t notice though, and neither does the girl strapped to his side, the two of them smiling at you and not giving Jungkook a glance. 

“Oh, we’re just celebrating our four month anniversary.” The girl finally speaks up, giving Hajoon a kiss to the cheek and completely missing the way your face instantly falls. Her innocent statement has you coming to the sudden realization that this son of a bitch had been cheating on you for the last two months of your relationship. 

Jungkoon spots it easily though, can sense the way your body tenses up beside him, no doubt will the rage flare up in the form of hot tears spilling over and onto your cheeks soon. One look at Hajoon’s pleased face is enough to not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the way he affects you. 

“Young love,” Jungkook sighs, long arm pulling you into his side obnoxiously, seeing the way Hajoon eyes the two of you carefully. “I can relate. We’ve been together for...what is it again babe, five months?”

Hajoon doesn’t even attempt to be discreet, eyes bulging out and fist curling at his side. He had hated Jungkook the second he met him, intimidated by his physique and the way he made you laugh with ease, threatened by him in every sense. It was the reason he told you to cut ties with him, his fragile ego not trusting your neighbor, fully convinced all Jungkook would have to do was beckon you over for you to leave him. 

Any man would feel threatened by him, just looking at him now with his long hair framing his face, the challenging glimmer in his eyes as he gauges the other’s reaction. Hajoon follows Jungkook’s arm, seeing how it snakes around your body and settles with his palms curling around your waist, fingers gently squeezing your skin. 

Jungkook chuckles when Hajoon meets his gaze once more, free hand adjusting the yellow tinted sunglasses perched on his head—something that should make him look like an A class douchebag, because who the hell brings shades to a fucking club. But like all things, Jungkook makes it work. 

All of this tied in with that small, white lie, makes Hajoon’s head spin in a jealous whirlwind. It was fine and dandy if he cheated on you but how dare you give him the same treatment, with your neighbor of all people. 

“Five months?” He bites first, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of you. 

The insecurity is written all over his face, it almost makes him shrink in size and for some reason it fills you with confidence. You stand taller now, sliding your own arm around Jungkook’s side as you nuzzle into him. 

“Almost six.” Those two words are the nails into his coffin of insecurity, probably increasing his trust issues for years to come, but considering it was no longer your problem, you don’t care. 

“Wow, almost half a year. That’s so cute, isn’t it?” His girlfriend coos, perfectly manicured hand placed over her chest, totally missing the way Hajoon looks like a kicked puppy. 

Now that he doesn’t have the one up, he’s no longer interested in sticking around, the gross green monster perched on his shoulder laughing at his misfortune. 

“Adorable,” he grunts out. “We should get back to our table. It was nice seeing you.”

He doesn’t wait for a response before walking away, his girlfriend giving you a small wave before following behind him. The growing distance between you makes your muscles relax, sagging in relief as you release Jungkook’s side and hunch over the sticky bar. 

“I think I'm gonna puke,” you groan out, eyes going crossed when you feel Jungkook rest two fingers against your lips, sending him a questionable stare. 

“Please don’t, that drink was expensive. You’re only allowed to hurl as the grand finale of the night, and we’re just getting started.”

Jungkook smiles when you shut your eyes and groan, your mood was already down in the dumps, and despite the small rush you got from putting Hajoon in his place, you were still craving the comfort of your bed. “Can we go?”

The bartender proceeds to place a glass of water in front of you, assuming your slumped state was due to intoxication and not the gross remnants of running into an ex-boyfriend. You grab the glass regardless, taking a big gulp of the cool liquid and sighing when it helps calm you down. 

“If you really want to go we can, but at least try to loosen up.” His smile is genuine, cheeks pushed out as he looks down at you with kind eyes. “We’ll stay on the opposite side, and if you’d still rather watch the Notebook for the millionth time, we can do that.”

With a half-hearted groan you nod, allowing Jungkook to order another round of drinks for you to enjoy before eventually dragging you out onto the dance floor. He knows how to keep the atmosphere up, goofy smile on his lips as he bobs his head along to the loud beat, hands clasped with yours and wiggling in time to the music. 

“You love this song,” he manages to say through the noise, pulling you closer as he settles into a spot on the decently packed floor. You couldn’t even deny it, he heard just how often you played it through the paper thin walls. That playlist full of hit 2000’s songs was your guilty pleasure, and it was the main reason he had decided to bring you to this club on their themed night. 

Jungkook was attentive, he knew so much about you and played it off casually, always listening to things you say you enjoy, storing them into a folder labeled under your name and shoved into a very important part of his brain. 

You knew he was trying his best to get you to enjoy yourself, so you give in, beginning to sing along to the lyrics of an old song that brought back a flood of memories that made you smile back at him. Jungkook feels the first burst of success bloom inside him, joining in with your singing, raising up your clasped hands as you begin dancing. 

The smile doesn’t leave his face as he stares down at you, the few drinks you’ve had loosening you up and allowing you to push the earlier thoughts away. He feels mesmerized, eyes locked onto you, the flash of colors painting your skin, illuminating you in alternating shades of purple and blue. His heart does that annoying thing where it skips and stutters in his chest, mouth drying up as you drop your head back and sway your hips, slowly loosening the grip in your hands and turning around until your back is dangerously close to his chest.

Jungkook’s hands hover in the air for a moment, panic over taking his brain as he tries to remain calm. He could do this—he has done this before—the two of you would go clubbing before you got with your ex, and dancing definitely played a big part of it. So why was his brain short circuiting?

Sure your ass was brushing up against his crotch with each sway of your hips, but you were dancing, so his mind and his dick could fuck right off. He shakes his head to clear any dirty thoughts as his hands loosely grip your hips, testing the water, and when you smile and look back at him he feels less wary and sways his hips in time with yours. 

You can feel his chest brush against your back, breath fanning along your skin from his close proximity, only getting closer when you lift an arm back and hold his shoulder to pull him tighter against you. The heat sticks to your skin, thin shirt dampening with sweat from the warmth of the bodies around you, everyone in their own state of drunkenness as the bass flowed through their chests. 

Going out like this had been something you missed, used to frequenting the bars and clubs by your apartment with your friends and Jungkook, something that came to a halt because your ex claimed he hated that kind of scene. Something that was clearly a lie considering he was here now, enjoying himself as him and his new girlfriend danced along. 

You didn’t realize when he made his way onto the dance floor, enough distance separating you, but now that you had spotted him you feel like he’s way too close for comfort. In a similar position to you and Jungkook, Hajoon is free to look around while his girlfriend dances on him, eyes locked onto you with a smirk that makes your skin crawl. 

Jungkook is too lost in the music to notice where your attention has gone, earlier effects of the alcohol settling into his bloodstream, warming him up in that familiar way he welcomes. When the song changes, flowing into the next bass heavy anthem, you turn around in his grasp, giving him a brief glance before your hands are gripping his cheeks and bringing him down into a messy kiss. 

This is definitely something he’s never done with you before.

A muffled sound of confusion is swallowed by you as he quickly falls into the motion, large palms gripping your hips, slowly sliding up your back before lightly tangling into your hair to deepen the kiss. Jungkook can taste the liquor on your tongue, mixing with his own as your tongue slips between his lips. He has no idea what came over you but his racing heart and buried crush don’t let him question it, soft lips smacking with yours, not heard between the thrumming music. 

Your fingers feel the warmth of his cheeks, how he blushes into the kiss but you attribute it to the alcohol pumping through him. Harsh breaths fan across your face as he groans, lightly pulling back for a gasp of air but you don’t allow it. “No, don’t pull away. Not yet.”

And who is he to argue with that, blindly letting you bring your lips back together in a messy kiss. Your small pleas for him to continue has all the blood rushing to his cock, the ache felt in his jeans when it starts to harden, pressing into the denim uncomfortably and only getting worse when you gently bite down onto his lip before inching back. 

“Is he still looking?” you question, breath jagged as you peer up at Jungkook’s dazed expression. 

“What?” he dumbly replies, lips swollen and shiny, eyes still focused on your own as he makes an attempt to reconnect your lips. But then your question dawns on him, like a bucket of ice cold water, it sobers him up instantly. Is he still looking?

This was all for show. 

“He’s on the far right.” You motion your head in the direction and observe his face when his eyes move over to check if Hajoon was in fact still there. He does spot him heading out in a hurry though, girlfriend trailing behind him as he exits the club entirely

“No, just saw him leave.” Jungkook clears his throat, fingers slipping out of your hair and settling down over your back just like before. He hopes his solemn expression isn’t amplified by the lights flashing across his face, trying his best to act unaffected, as if he didn’t just pop a boner on the dance floor over a revenge make-out session. 

Luckily you don’t spot his fallen expression, a wide smile spreading across your face in victory, happy that you had successfully put him in his place. 

“I’m so sorry for kissing you.” You gasp in realization, unknowingly pouring salt in the wound when you act as if kissing him was something you would never do if it wasn’t in an attempt to piss off your ex. 

“No, it’s okay,” he waves off and smiles, eyes glancing over to the bar once more. Jungkook needed a drink, maybe five—actually he wouldn’t mind going home and watching The Notebook now, that would surely give him a reason to cry with no questions asked. 

He starts to walk back to the bar with you by his side, the sad look you had earlier entirely gone, replaced with a giddy smile and a pep in your step, so he can’t say he's too upset. 

“God, you should’ve seen how mad he looked when he saw us dancing together,” you giggle, standing inches from him as he orders another drink. Before he can respond, you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him in for a hug. 

A hug, really?

Still, Jungkook sighs and wraps his own arms around your waist, a defeated smile on his face that he hides as he lets his chin rest over your head. The dip in his head makes the yellow tinted frames fall over his eyes and when he pulls back you snort at the visual, finger gently poking the bridge of them. 

“You look good in those.”

His drink gets placed in front of him then, giving him a good excuse to avoid stumbling over his words from your compliment, choosing to take a gulp of the hard liquor, wincing when it burns his throat. “Thank you,” he rasps out, grimacing at the taste and it just makes you giggle. 

“I should be thanking you. You need to be my fake boyfriend more often.”

Even more salt poured into his wound, topped with a dash of lemon juice in the form of your playful smile and nudge to his ribs, it stings. His heart ache in his chest, more so when he realizes his stupid boner was still going strong. Thankfully the dark lights prevent you from seeing it, the last thing he needed was further embarrassment. 

The yellow frames are placed back over his head as he takes another sip, nodding along to your statement with what he hopes comes across as a genuine smile on his lips once he sets his cup down. “Anytime you want Y/N.”

“I know this night didn’t end with the grand finale of me puking, but do you wanna go home and watch movies? No sappy romance ones, I'm not in the mood for crying anymore.”

He finishes his drink with ease, quickly closing his tab as he agrees. “Yeah, just let me go to the bathroom real quick.” 

You might not be in the mood for crying but he definitely was; he also needed to handle the situation in his jeans, and what better night to stoop this low than tonight. His own version of a grand finale coming in the form of jerking off in the dirty bar bathroom while maybe shedding a tear or two. 

“Okay! I’ll call an uber,” you announce cheerfully, allowing him to walk away as you settle onto one of the sticky bar stools. 

Jungkook’s chest feels heavy as he walks to the bathroom, slipping into the small room and locking the door behind him. His forehead rests against the dirty door, eyes falling shut with a groan. He wishes he had the guts to confess to his crush, needing to push the fear of ruining the friendship away from his mind, wanting to gather possible clues that could indicate that you might feel the same. 

One day, but not yet. 

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[spikesbimbo]

Drunk in Love

Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.

Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader

Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel

18+ Minors DNI

You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  

“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory

“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.

This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.

You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.

Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.

And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)

But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.

Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.

He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.

“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.

You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.

“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.

  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.

  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  

   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.

   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.

  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter

  “Fuck.” He muttered

  “Any’all got a light?”

  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.

  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.

  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.

  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.

  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.

You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.

You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.

 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).

You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.

  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.

  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.

  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.

  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.

  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.

  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.

    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.

  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.

 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.

You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.

"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.

“C’you make me a house?” He asks.

You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.

 “Thanks doll” He smirks.

“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.

He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.

His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.

“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.

“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.

  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.

You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.

“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.

He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.

When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.

He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.

“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.

“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.

He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.

Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.

 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  

Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.

 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.

You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”

You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  

You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.

  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.

“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.

But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.

“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”

“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?

“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.

He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.

“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.

But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.

  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated

  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.

  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  

You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.

But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.

  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?

  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.

  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.

You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.

Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.

I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters

    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  

  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”

  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.

  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."

  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?

  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”

He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.

“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  

He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.

 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”

“yeah” You start.

“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?

“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.

His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.

“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”

 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs

“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.

“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.

Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa

Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.

“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.

His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.

Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles

“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.

“So are you.”

He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.

  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.

“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.

“I got it that day you faked sick”

“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.

He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.

This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.

“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.

“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.

“You still with that other girl?”

“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”

“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.

“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.

“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.

But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.

“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.

“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.

“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.

“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”

“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.

“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.

“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”

He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.

“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.

He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”

He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.

“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.

 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?

“M’always wet.” you responded.

From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.

“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.

You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.

“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.

“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.

“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.

“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.

He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.

He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.

The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”

His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.

“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 

“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.

  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.

“Shh, just look at me, doll.”

You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.

He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.

“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.

Shawty, your body is so exciting

Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.

He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”

But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.

It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.

 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.

“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.

“Look how good you take it.”  

“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.

“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.

  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.

  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 

You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.

His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.

You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.

“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.

“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.

You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.

Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.

He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.

“Yeah…fuck baby”

I love when you get on top and you ride it

You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.

“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.

“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.

“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.

“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.

He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.

His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.

The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.

You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.

He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.

“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.

“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.

“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.

“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.

“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.

“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.

“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.

 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”

You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.

“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.

He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.

  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.

  “Shh baby im right here.”

  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.

  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.

“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.

  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.

 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.

“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.

“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.

  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.

  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.

  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.

“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.

“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.

  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”

© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .

[strawbearisamu]

eggs and other love stuff // 卵や他の愛のもの [summer collection: vol 1]

timeskip! sakusa kiyoomi x f! reader

genre: fluff

summary: your high school friend/crush moves in next door!

note: first of the summer collection even if it doesn't really have summery vibes bc i said so >:( also i have a slight affinity for naming fics w sakusa food-related

you don't expect to see him here. in this place. at this time.

you soak deeper into the bath, head submerging underwater as you let the warmth of the water engulf you. a slight ringing in your ear, only amplifying the thoughts that fill your head.

you reminisce the time, the early evening sky soaked orange, as you call him into an empty classroom, arms outstretched and in your hands, a letter with your heart poured out, and a bag of cookies you spent all night burning and remaking.

you notice him eyeing the little plaster on your pinky, and you make an effort to draw his attention back to you. "kiyoomi, i've liked you for a long time now..." you pause, his face is unreadable, but at least it hasn't contorted into a scowl. "i just hope you'll accept them."

sakusa does nothing but nod, a satisfactory response, he takes both in one hand and walks away, but not the response you wanted.

you were third years then, with much more important things to worry about, perhaps thats why you still thought about it so often, about him so often, wondering what it meant, what it could've been. you pushed against the sides of the tub, pulling your body out even as the water resisted it, goosebumps rising at the sudden coldness of the air.

you hear the doorbell ring and sigh, wrapping a towel around yourself, you trudge to the door, annoyed.

"it's me." you freeze. "kiyoomi."

"b-be right there, what do you need?" you shout at door, scrambling to your dresser to throw some clothes on.

"i um, i need some eggs," you could almost sense the slight hesitation in his muffled voice.

"alright i'll be a sec!"

you finally open the door, the sudden wind minty on your freshly damp hair, you're met with the same dark eyes that always held your gaze captive, the same mask he had always adorned and hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts- the only notable difference you thought, but it was summer now, he couldn't always wear a jacket.

"eggs right?" you call out leading him into the cramped kitchen area of your tiny studio apartment. you crouch down and open the door to the mini fridge, the cold blue light reflecting in your face as you reach in and pick out a few, "how many do you need?"

"actually...i couldn't get my stove to work, i was wondering if you're okay with me cooking here tonight." he peered down at you still crouching, his face as unreadable as always.

"sure, anything for an old friend." you swore you saw his eyebrow twitch, "but you'll have to make me some too," you said cheerily.

he rolled his eyes in feigned ignorance, smiling under the comfort of his mask, "we'll be having tamagoyaki," he paused as he plopped a heavy bag of something on your counter, "and mackerel."

"gasp kiyoomi, you know i never eat fish," you pout.

his arms crossed, "it's good for you, and you'll like the way i make it," because i've made this recipe a hundred times pretending it was for you, he thought, smiling again before playfully calling you over, "don't think you're getting off little brat, whip the eggs."

and just like that you guys fell into an easy rhythm as if you were never apart.

that was 3 months ago, your little late dinner rendevous became a daily occurence, and soon enough,

 in your balcony that was definitely too small for even two standing people, orange rays illuminating his curls, his face bathed in that sunset glow, he handed you his letter which contents' held his whole heart, and cookies he spent all night making, you eyed the small plaster on his pinky and raised a brow. "just to show you i remember," he explained, you smile, "y/n i've liked you for a long time now, i just hope you'll accept me."

"do you wanna know a secret?" omi whispered as you peered up at him, tucked under some blankets, cuddled in each other's embrace, the muted voices of some tv show filling the backdrop of your attention.

"sure omi."

"i had eggs that day, 2 full trays too," he looks straight into your eyes, no sense of guilt in his voice.

"you..." you pout.

"my stove was perfectly fine, perfect even. just needed a reason to see you again, you were always on my mind...plagued every part of me y/n."

"are you calling me a virus?" you pouted again this time he brushed his thumb over your chin, soon both hands caressing your cheeks as he took your lips in his, a long stretch of silence followed, only the soft sounds of some audience laughter and the two of you. you push against his chest a little, pulling away, once again finding yourself lost in the stars of his eyes, "and it never felt like home without you omi."

"but also you owe me a bunch of eggs."

he laughs kissing your nose and pinching your cheek, "and i'll spend the rest of my life paying you back."

sol’s comments: tonight was so nice and chill u guys, i swear i was in the flow for a solid 4 hours just getting stuff done <3 also i'm taking requests now but i'll probably put up the rules tmr since it's getting late :> hope yall have a great day or night or whatever besties 🥴💗

click me for the m.list! // summer collection

each and every reblop is appreciated ☻ (+ free hugs)