#finally finished writing my god just need to edit/proofread

[coffeeshib]

may i interest anyone in some agathario smut

[nolita-fairytale]

comfort & chaos | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter six: home

summary: takes place after 'make my heart surrender' ends (so if you haven't read the series, you can do so here). after surprising carmy at the restaurant, he has something really important to tell you. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)

warnings: time jump, fluff, 'i love you', smut (18+ mdni), no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language, not proofread -- will probably go back and make some edits

word count: 3.9k

listen to: no such thing - john mayer | you're the best - wet | pancakes for dinner - lizzy mcalpine | want want - maggie rogers

a/n: hi it's me! i'm tired of breaking my own heart are you tired of me breaking your hearts?!! if you're wondering what the heck happened between chapter 5 & 6, make sure to read 'make my heart surrender' or at least, this final chapter!

didn't think you were getting smut with this final chapter?! gotcha!! i had to take some DEEP breaths while writing this. thank you so much for all of the kind comments, external screaming, and dms about this series. i love you all sm. here's is thee much needed and well-deserved fluffy chapter where carmy finally says (redacted).

read: chapter five | masterlist

“God I fuckin’ love you.” 

Your words echo in Carmy’s head all shift, and he doesn’t know why he hasn’t said it back yet. 

The restaurant has been slow for lunch, and in every single moment he’s had to think about it, the words felt like they were on the tip of his tongue:

I love you. 

I love you too. 

I love you and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. 

But what was he supposed to do? Tell you in the middle of your mise en place? Follow you into the walk-in and tell you there? He almost regrets not just saying it back right then and there – the minute he realized that you and Richie were both pulling a prank on him. Carmy decides that telling you here, at the restaurant just won’t do – just wouldn’t be romantic enough – and he knows you deserve more than that. 

As you finish up your prep for dinner service, you eye Carmy carefully. He looks totally wrapped up in thought, and you can’t imagine what he must be thinking this hard about. You’re here. You can’t believe you’re here. And you could care less about anything else right now.

“How ya doin?” you ask him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

He doesn’t know if you can see it on his face – that he’s thinking way too hard about this. 

“Uh, I’m-. Just thinkin’ about strategy… for dinner service,” he lies, trying his best to throw you off his trail. 

“Okay,” you reply, unconvinced. 

But it’s clear that he’s not going to give you much more than that.  

“You should go home,” he blurts out. His response takes you by surprise, and as soon as he realizes it sounds like he doesn’t want you here, his face softens, quick to course correct. 

“I just mean-, you must be tired. From the drive. As much as I appreciate the help…” he trails off. “It’s been slow today anyways. You should take my key and head home. If you want. Get some rest.”

Home. 

You smile in response at the sound of it, knowing that, after today, Chicago is your home. 

“You sure?” you ask him. 

“Yeah,” he insists. “If it stays this slow, I may even be able to get home early.”

You’re sure you have the silliest grin on your face as you hear the word again. 

Because this is your home now. 

Because Carmy is your home now too. 

“Well, if you insist,” you say with a shrug. 

“I do,” he says back, a seriousness in his voice. 

“Okay,” you giggle in response, agreeing to his demand. 

Carmy’s always trying to take care of you. It’s one of the things you love the most about him. Whether he’s asking you if he can make you something or asking to walk you home, you’ve always known that this is how he shows his love. 

You and Carmy both wash your hands, and he follows you towards the locker area, watching you hang up your apron in the locker that will now be yours. He busies himself with finding his apartment keys while you gather your things. 

“I kinda missed this place,” you say, even though you’ve only been gone three weeks. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a light in his eyes as he watches you. 

It feels surreal: seeing you here, knowing that you’ll be at his place when he gets back, that he gets to keep you. 

“Yeah. And maybe even some of the people too,” you smirk, cheekily. 

Carmy blushes, taking a few steps towards you with his keys in hand. 

“Need the address?” he asks. 

“I remember how to get back there,” you reassure him, playfully. 

It hadn’t been that long since you walked home with Carmy the night that changed it all: the night he’d made you his carbonara, the night that feelings were revealed, the night you made love. You’d followed him back to his apartment two nights in a row after that, letting yourself surrender to this thing between you that you’d both spent over two years fighting. And you’d let him take you to bed each night, getting lost in the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way his skin felt against yours. 

You’re still in shock over how much has changed in your life in the last month alone.

It felt like heaven. 

It feels like heaven. 

And you wonder what took you both so fucking long.

At the same time, you know it happened exactly when it was supposed to happen – that anything before this wouldn’t have worked. 

As Carmy hands you his keys, you give him a goodbye kiss, the tension between the two of you palpable. It’s the kind of ‘I can’t wait to get you alone’ tension and you can’t wait till he gets off his shift – your thoughts filled with all the things you want to do with him when you finally do. 

It takes a while to leave the restaurant – everyone wanting to get in their hello or goodbye in – before you’re on your way home to Carmy’s apartment. On the drive there, you laugh to yourself about how the staff of The Bear have been betting on how long it’d take for you to come back. It fills you with a sense of warmth, confirming that this was exactly the move you needed to make. Since it’s close by, and you still have your stupid fucking U-HAUL, it doesn’t take long to get back to Carmy’s apartment. You make a mental note to find a good storage container to rent out so you don’t have to lug this thing around while you look for a place. 

By the time you get into his apartment, suitcase in hand, it’s clear to you that Carmy wasn’t expecting you. His home is messier than you remember it being when you left three weeks ago, but it’s not so intolerable that it’s maddening. 

You put something on the TV in the background, while you unwind, taking a shower then tidying up a little bit around the apartment. You let yourself enjoy the simplest of pleasures: your favorite pair of sweatpants that you can’t believe he’s kept, and a comfy bralette you’ve packed at the top of your suitcase. 

But it all starts to hit you as you start slowing down: after spending the night in Cleveland, you’d driven all morning to Chicago, jumped in on the line for dinner prep. You’ve barely had a moment to slow down and holy shit, are you exhausted. It doesn’t take more than a few episodes of Pasta Grannies for you to pass out on the couch. Carmy’s YouTube playback is set to autoplay, and as your eyelids become progressively heavier, you promise yourself you’re just going to close your eyes for a few moments… 

“Hi sweetheart,” you hear a voice say, causing you to slowly blink your eyes open. 

“Carm?” you mumble, only half awake. “Is it you? You’re really here?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Did I wake you?” he whispers, letting out a small laugh. 

You giggle as Carmy comes into your line of sight. He’s perched on the edge of the couch as you reach for one of his hands so that you can touch him. 

“Yeah, but I’m glad you did. What time is it?” you ask, becoming more and more awake by the minute. 

“Ten-thirty. Business picked up a ton for dinner.”

“Damn.”

“So much for getting off early.” 

You hum in response, sitting up momentarily to grab his hands, pulling him towards. Carmy smiles, laying his body over yours, before leaning in for the softest, gentlest kiss. 

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi,” he smiles back at you, the words just on the tip of his tongue. 

I love you too.

You pull him back in for another kiss, this time deepening it. You laugh again, as Carmy breaks the kiss, an inquisitive look plastered to his face. 

“What?” he questions. 

“Nothing. You smell like hot giardiniera,” you giggle as your lips twist into a smile against his. 

He laughs, “Yeah?’

“Uh huh,” you say. 

“I’ll shower,” he suggests, playfully. 

“No, no it’s okay. I’m kinda into it,” you reply, earning another chuckle from him. 

“It’s okay,” Carmy replies, shaking his head. He places a peck on your lips before sitting up properly, earning a groan from you as he pulls away. “I’m gonna hop in the shower. Maybe we can move this to uh… my bedroom?”

“Are you putting the moves on me, Berzatto?” you tease him, shooting him a playful look.

“No! I just meant-, since I know you must be tired-,” he stammers, a blush running across your cheeks. 

You shake your head, sitting up to reassure him with another kiss. 

“I’m kidding,” you say with a chuckle. “And I’m also starving. 

“Yeah?” he sounds. 

“How about this? Why don’t you jump in the shower and I’ll order us a pizza. I’m sure we can find something to do while we wait for it to get here,” you say suggestively. 

Oh. 

“Sounds great,” he agrees with a quick raise of his eyebrows. 

You watch as Carmy disappears into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling your ears, you scroll around a little for a good pizza spot nearby. You settle on something New York style out of habit, ordering a few things for delivery. 

By the time Carmy gets out of the shower, you’ve curled up with yourself in his bed, scrolling around on your favorite social media app. You let out a whistle as soon as Carmy enters the room with only a towel tied around his waist. You can tell he’s tried his best to dry his hair, running the towel through his perfect curls a few times. You’ve got all this pent up sexual energy, and seeing Carmy like this, all hot, nearly-naked, and wet is really doing it for you. 

Hell, he could be in a full hazmat suit and the man would do it for you. 

You watch as he rummages through his dresser, searching for a t-shirt and a pair of briefs, but there’s no fucking way you’re letting him get dressed. You toss your phone to the side, standing up from where you are on the bed.

As you approach, you snake your arms around his waist, stopping him in his tracks. He cannot believe this is real: that you’re here, in his bed, in the sweatpants that he knows you love. That you’re here to stay. That you’re here and you’re his. 

“Hey,” he says, his lips twisting into a smile as you begin to leave soft kisses across the back of his shoulders. 

“Hey, yourself,” you reply, nipping at the skin you’ve just kissed. 

Carmy hisses at the feel of your teeth, letting out a laugh that seems to rumble in his throat. 

“Can I help you with something?” he teases you. 

He feels your lips curl into a smile against his skin, smirking in response. 

I fucking love you too. 

But before he can say anything, your hands are pushing his towel down past his hips, desperately envious of the way the material clings to him. 

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think you know.”

He lets the towel fall to the floor, and Carmy groans as you wrap your hand around his hard on, hissing as he feels you pump him a few times. 

“Seems like you’ve been thinkin the same thing,” you say again, feeling how hard he already is. 

He bites into his lower lip, his eyes rolling towards the back of his head as he enjoys the way you touch him. 

“Been thinkin’ about this all day, sweetheart.”

“Well…” you trail off. “I’d love to hear more about what’s been on your mind.”

“Yeah?” he croaks out, the pleasure you’re bringing him causing him to short circuit. 

“Yes,” you sigh out, wound up with desire. 

Finally, Carmy turns around, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in for a passionate, lust-filled kiss. His lips are on yours like he’s been starving, as if nothing would satiate him the way tasting you will. You open your mouth, deepening the kiss, as you feel his tongue slide against yours. Carmy begins backing you up towards the bed, guiding you down to his mattress. 

“Had this on my mind since you left Chicago,” he mumbles, his pupils wide, fully blown out in lust. 

“Me too,” you manage to get out. 

He leans in once more, pressing his lips to yours once more. You drag your teeth against his bottom lip, before he breaks the kiss, his mouth and hands searching for real estate lower. Carmy leaves hot, open mouthed kisses along your breasts, your torso, and you’re practically pulling off your bralette like it’s burning your skin. 

“Been thinkin’ about this. You…” he admits, his voice hoarse. 

You gasp in pleasure as Carmy drags the sweatpants, along with your panties, down over your hips, tossing them who knows where behind him. 

“... tasting you.” 

You moan as he positions himself between your legs, kneeling on the floor, his chest pressed to the bed. Your legs quake with anticipation as you feel his hot breath fan over your core. Every moment he spends making you wait is killing you. 

“Carmy, please,” you beg, as he begins leaving soft kisses along your inner thighs. You can tell he’s making himself wait too, building the anticipation so that when he lets himself have you… 

“Carmen!” you moan. 

He practically groans against you as he uses the tip of his tongue to trace your clit.

“Fuck, I missed this,” he muses, before burying himself between your thighs again. 

His mouth is on you, tracing little shapes with his tongue, licking up and down your progressively wet core, while his hands keep your legs spread wide. 

All for him. 

He continues to eat you out, completely enraptured with the way you taste, the way your moans and gasps sound, the way you say his name, calling out for him and only him. As he slips a finger inside of you, you bury your hands in his hair, your hips thrusting up into his hand and against his mouth. 

“Holy fuck, Carmy,” you gasp, your mind completely taken over with the pleasure he’s giving you. 

He can tell that you’re close, adding another finger, taking note that you seem to like it even more. It’s as if he’s memorized every single thing you loved, everything that seemed to make you tick, and applied it to this time. 

“Carmy, I’m gonna-,” you cry out, your legs shaking as he brings you over the edge. 

You’re gasping, writhing against the bed, your legs still pushed wide by tatted hands as you begin to come down. You look down, tugging Carmy’s hair to bring him back up to you. When he finally looks back up at you, he’s grinning, completely satisfied with the pleasure he’s brought you. He makes his way back up, laying his very naked body over top of yours, leaning in for another kiss. 

You can taste yourself on his lips, and he doesn’t know if it’s possible to get harder than he is. 

“That’s what you were thinking about?” you whispered against his lips, spreading your legs to make room for him. You can feel his hard, aching cock against your wet center, and if you think you’ll die if he’s not inside of you as soon as possible. 

“All day.” 

He kisses you, nipping at your top lip momentarily, before continuing with:

“Haven’t stopped thinkin’ about it, actually.” 

That and something else. 

Three words he can’t seem to get out. 

Even though they’re begging to be said. 

You reach down, wrapping a hand around him, sliding his thick tip against you so that he can feel how wet and needy you are for him. 

“I can think of a few other things I want,” you beg him, feeling him shudder against you as you drag the tip of his cock over you again and again. 

“And what’s that?” Carmy asks you cheekily. 

Instead of answering, you guide him into you, earning a gasp from the both of you as he splits you open. Carmy takes his time pushing into you, making sure to pause when he’s fully seated inside of you. 

Your eyes are locked with his, allowing yourself to get totally lost inside of the pools of blue. You’re sighing out in pleasure, squeezing around him, your lips so fucking close to touching it’s near-painful. Carmy begins to slide out of you at a dangerously slow pace, thrusting into you, deeper each time. You’re pulling him down to you, and it’s as if you can’t get enough – enough of his mouth on yours, enough of him to hold onto – even though you have all of him. 

You’d let him consume all of you if he wanted to, you think to yourself, as he swallows your moans in his mouth.

It’s tangled legs, and tangled tongues, and whispered pleas. 

“God, you feel so good,” he grunts, burying his head in your neck as he speeds up. You can tell the both of you are close – that all the pent up sexual energy means that neither of you will last long. 

But you don’t care. 

You’ve got all the time in the world now. 

“Carmy,” you whine, desperate for him to let you cum.

You know you have his attention, as he raises his head, locking eyes with you again. 

“I want you to fuck me from behind,” you whisper, desperately. 

“Fuck. That’s so hot,” he groans, his eyes wide.

Unwillingly, he peels his body off of yours, letting you sit up straight. He thinks he may have died and gone to heaven as he watches you turn around, kneeling on all fours over his bed. His hands immediately go to your ass, dragging calloused palms over the curve of it as he kneels behind you. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he gasps, guiding himself back into you. 

He thinks the sight alone may send him to an early grave as you bow your back, your ass still high as you press your chest against the bed. 

“Your ass is fucking incredible,” Carmy says, pulling out slowly, before thrusting back into you with a force that makes you cry out. 

“Carmen,” you whimper, your legs shaking beneath you. 

This feels too good. 

“Hmm?” he asks, his hands smoothing over your low back, following the way your back seems to arch in pleasure. 

“Fuck me. Please.” 

He knows he won’t last much longer. His hands hold onto your hips, the pads of his fingers pressing into your skin as he begins to speed up. It feels unreal, incredible, being this deep inside of you. And he gets to watch: watch the way you arch your back, watch your body respond to every single thrust, watch you grasp at the sheets and pillows, searching for something to hold onto. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna last long, baby,” he stutters out, his thrusts becoming more erratic as you beg him to keep going. 

“Please, Carmen. That feels so goddamn good,” you plead with him, face down into his sheets. 

“Shit. Fuck,” he howls, his voice booming against all corners of the room. 

Carmy places the gentlest hand against your low back, as if it to ask you to lay down, laying his body over yours from behind. He pauses, because it just feels too damn good, and he wants to revel in this moment before this ends. Ever so slowly, he begins to drag his cock in and out of you at the most torturously slow pace. His mouth leaves small kisses against your shoulders, nipping at your soft skin as he continues to make love to you. 

“Faster, Carmy. Please. I’m gonna cum,” you pant. 

You’re not sure just how much more patient you can get here. You feel him begin to speed up, and you’re moaning into his mattress against, begging for him to make you cum. He can feel you squeezing around him, and the sight of himself fucking into you really isn’t helping either. 

“Fuck,” he manages to get out, his hips beginning to stutter against your ass. 

“Yes. Whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever you want,” he repeats, earning the most blissful ‘Carmy’ from your lips he’s ever heard. 

“Baby, I’m so close,” you whine. 

“Yes, me too. Yes. Fuck, I love you,” he calls out, shutting his eyes as he cums. 

He can feel you shuddering around him, as he fucks you through your orgasm too, completely unaware of the words that have flown out of his mouth. 

You’re both panting, breathless from what you’ve just done, as you begin to come down. 

“Holy shit,” he finally says, leaning his forehead against the back of your shoulder. 

“You can say that again,” you chuckle, trying to catch your breath. 

“Can we do this tomorrow? And the day after that?” you ask, playfully, turning your head to kiss him. “And the day after that?”

Carmy smiles, “Absolutely.”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to get cleaned up and back into comfy clothes. Carmy knows there’s no point in fighting you for your favorite pair of his sweatpants as he picks out another pair, remaining shirtless for your viewing pleasure. The pizza arrives shortly after, and you find yourself in bed, with the man you’ve loved for so long, getting a much-needed refuel break. 

“You know I hate eating in bed,” Carmy points out, watching you get crumbs all over his sheets. 

“Yeah, well I’m getting my own place so… that’s a future problem for you and me,” you answer, without a single care in the world. 

“For when we move in together?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

It’s almost as if he’s testing the waters – seeing if that’s something that’s still on your mind. 

“Right,” you confirm, confidently. 

But you’re in. 

You’re all in. 

It seems like you’ve passed whatever test he’s given you as the corners of his lips curl into the softest smile. 

“You know… you live in Chicago now,” he teases, in reference to your choice of pizza. 

You scoff in response, throwing in a playful eye roll for dramatic effect. 

“Oh fuck you.” 

He laughs. 

You eat quietly, enjoying your first night in Chicago as a resident. You watch as Carmy’s face changes, as if he’s trying to find the right words to say what’s on his mind. Instead of asking, you wait, knowing that he’ll bring it up when he finds them. 

“Hey uh…” he starts, hesitantly. “I just want you to know… that I… I meant what I said earlier.”

The more serious tone he uses piques your curiosity as you stare back at him blankly, unsure of what he's referring to.

“What do you mean?” you ask back.

Carmy takes another beat, pausing as he musters up the courage to clarify with:

“That I love you. I didn’t want you to think I just said it because… well you know.”

Because you were naked.

Because he got caught up in the moment.

Because he was inside of you.

He licks his lips, before opening his mouth to say it again: 

“I love you.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, his eyes are on you, watching your face for any kind of reaction.

But you’re beaming as you hear them and it all begins to make sense. It was something you’d said earlier, but the fact that he hadn’t said it back hadn’t been on your mind. Is this what he’d been thinking about all day? You just figured he'd say it back when he was ready.

You shake your head, a grin plastered to your face as you reply,

“I know, silly. I love you too.”

Fin. 

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos @blue-weekends @rexorangecouny @ridingthehotmessexpress @the-nursery@strawberryalicia @astronautelilanded @veryplatoniccircunstances @fonteyn @hlkwrites

[cowgurrrl]

OKAY WAIT

late night talks with college!joel - how reader and him came to date. they were studying they got distracted talking about something and stayed up all night taking. now joel can get her off his mind. 😉

thank you harry styles <3

I’ll kiss you on the mouth dude I love this idea

UPDATE: I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT AND IF IT WASNT FOR MY MELATONIN KICKING IN I WOULDVE CONTINUED IT

She’s got a book for every situation

Pairing: college!joel x fem!reader

Summary: this ask

Author’s note: typed in tumblr and not proofread so god speed slayers 🫡

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, Joel being The Biggest Flirt, June your BA in English is showing, I think that’s it??

Working at the writing center on campus has its perks. You get unlimited printing, editing experience, and free coffee. Granted, it’s from a pot that had been simmering for several days but it’s free nevertheless. You’ve even managed to get in good with a few professors who would recommend their students come to you if they need help. Normally, they don’t take the advice until finals week and they all scramble into your office all at once. So, when a tall guy with curly dark hair walks into your desolate lobby, you’re a little surprised. He looks lost with a stack of papers piled in his hands and visibly relaxes when he sees you peek your head out.

“Hey there. Can I help you?” You ask, approaching him.

“Maybe. ‘M from Dr. Phillips class and she said to come to the writing center and ask for…” He trails off as he glances down at his paper before saying your name. “Said she might be able to help me with my paper.”

“Yeah, I think she can help you with your paper.” You say and hold out your hand to grab the red inked paper. It’s a paper on Kerouac who’s never been your favorite. In fact, you wrote an entire paper about how pretentious and privileged Jack Kerouac actually was but that’s neither here nor there. The bottom line is that you know how to write a paper professors are looking for. You feel his eyes scanning your face as you read his thesis and try to ignore the blush creeping over your cheeks.

“I take it you’re the brilliant writer Dr. Phillips likes so much.” He says. You smile but don’t take your eyes off his words so you don’t get distracted by his presence.

“Dr. Phillips doesn’t like anyone.”

“She seemed to like you. Told me all about how smart you are,” he says. “Never mentioned the pretty part, though.” Finally, you look up and meet his gaze.

“Technically Dr. Phillips isn’t allowed to recommend one student editor over another. It’s against our policy and makes things a little fairer for everyone. So, can we keep this little secret between us…” you let your sentence end, realizing you never asked his name, and he holds out his free hand.

“Joel.” He says and you shake his hand.

“Well, Joel, I’ll tell you what. I’ll agree to help you get your paper in order if you agree to not get me fired. Fair deal?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He says politely.

You spend the rest of the day walking Joel through essay structures, grammar mistakes, and thesis issues. His argument is strong but it needs to be more concise and punchier. When you try to explain it to him in those terms, he looks at you like you’re from Mars. Eventually, after a little too much flirty small talk, he tells you about his dad’s construction company and you learn to put flowery, over dramatic writing advice into clean, neat boxes that he understands completely. Unfortunately, you don’t end up finishing the actual essay before the center closes.

“You’re free to come back tomorrow morning so we can finish this.” You say as you gather your things and stuff them in your backpack. Joel stretches in his chair, his shirt riding up just enough to reveal a gorgeous sliver of tan skin and you have to force your eyes away from the sight.

“D’you live far from here?” He asks, standing and throwing his own backpack over one shoulder. You waffle for a moment, unsure if you want to tell this almost perfect stranger where you live.

“Maybe a ten minute walk. It’s not bad for Austin.”

“Can I walk you home? Since I kept you so late,” he asks. Once again, you hesitate. Joel doesn’t seem like the typical frat guy you’ve come to fear since your time at school. He actually seems gentle and genuine. You turn the thought over a few more times before he throws his hands up. “‘S just an offer to make sure you get home safe. I’ll even carry your backpack for you if you want.” He offers and you smile. You take another second before handing him your heavy backpack. He slings it over his free shoulder and walks to the door to open it for you, keys jingling in your hand as you lock up the writing center for the night. The humid Texas night suffocates you the second you step out into the fading daylight.

“You always carry girls’ backpacks home?” You ask as you start walking in the direction of your apartment. Campus is mostly empty this time of night, everyone crawling home after class to pregame or cry or both. Squirrels patrol the sidewalks for any students who may want to hand them a piece from their bagel or sandwich. Someone honks their horn in distant standstill Austin traffic, and the sun slowly slides behind the Capitol. It’s peaceful.

“Only when I make ‘em read my shitty writing.” He says and you laugh.

“Your writing’s not bad, Joel. It’s actually very good. Essays are just the worst to write.”

“You like ‘em enough to work at the writing center.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s what I actually care about,” you shrug. “At this point, I’m a warm body with a clicky pen.”

“Woah there, Kafka. I think you’re a little more than that,” Joel laughs and you have to laugh too. Not only for the perfectly on brand joke but for the tone in his voice. The playful lilt makes your head feel fuzzy. “Alright then, if you don’t like essays and you don’t like Kerouac, what do you like? What do you wanna write?” He asks and you take a deep breath. It’s a question you’ve fielded more than enough times in your college career to know that not many people like your answer.

“I’m not sure yet. I like a little bit of everything.”

“Have you written anythin’ I would’ve read?”

“No,” you laugh. “Probably not.”

“Why’s that funny?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Because nobody wants to publish my work. It’s too… rough.”

“Rough?” He raises his eyebrows at you.

“Yeah. Publishers either want the next Great American Novel or nothing at all, and I am not next Great American Novel material.”

“How do you know?”

“Because nobody’s publishing me.”

“Maybe, you’re not lookin’ in the right places,” he says. “‘M just sayin’ someone as smart as you has to have somethin’ someone will wanna take.”

“Yeah, well, don’t go holdin’ your breath on me, cowboy.”

“Why do you do that?” He asks suddenly and you stop to look at him.

“Do what?” You ask.

“Try and play it off whenever someone compliments you.” He says with glaring honesty. It sets you back in your heels but you quickly recover.

“You’ve only known me for a few hours. How do you know I’m not just incredibly humble?”

“I guess I don’t,” he says. “Could I buy you a drink and figure it out?” It could be the way he, somehow, sees right through you already or the way his brown eyes look in the sunlight but you can’t stop the butterflies in your stomach. You purse your lips together and dare a step closer to him.

“Tell you what, if you get an A on this paper, I’ll let you buy me a drink.” You say.

“And if I fail?” He asks and you shake your head.

“You won’t fail.”

“But what if I do?”

“If you do, you have to…” you search your brain. “Carry my backpack home for me for a week.”

“You drive a hard bargain, ma’am.”

“But I take it Joel Miller’s a bettin’ man.”

“See, smarter than you think.” He quips and you roll your eyes.

“One thing at a time, lover boy.”

Joel ends up getting the highest grade on his essay out of anyone in his class. Dr. Phillips commends his dedication to bettering his first draft and tells him to keep up the good work. “Whatever you did to change this, keep it up.” She says when she places his graded essay on his desk. When he presents the A to you at the writing center, all you can do is applaud him and smile.

“I told you you’d pass.” You say, poking at his firm chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “Maybe I just needed a little motivation.”

“Oh, yeah? What was that?”

“I think I was promised a date.” He says cheekily and you nod.

“You were, and my mama raised me to be a woman of my word,” you smile. “Jenny, do you mind closing up for me tonight?” You ask the receptionist and she shakes her head.

“Not at all, darlin’. Have a good night.” She winks at you when Joel turns his back and you stick your tongue out at her.

Say what you will about the writing center but you think a date with a broad, tall, handsome cowboy is the best thing that could’ve come out of that hell hole.

[majesticwren]

here we go with part III. It's 12k of unhinged feral energy; be advised, this entire project is done solely for my pleasure, I am indulging myself so much with this. I just needed to write will and fletch and had to create this stuff. the angst that it carries (because yes there will be more coming - I am very good very evil) it's the energy I crave please don't come for me and trust the process I'll feed you smut. I am planning shit loads of fluff too but it will be a rollercoaster overall. it is edited but not proofread. enjoy. a/n: hi :) me again back at it. I didn't like the first draft of this so I finally went back in and made it a little extra poly/gay with some more chemistry between kyle and will because I needed it. thank you bye 💕

trigger warning/s: angst angst angst, poly relationship dynamics, reference to sex, reference to threesome, shit loads of misunderstandings and miscommunication, swearing, jealousy and mild possessiveness, OFC is unhinged and is her own trigger warning - she can't deal with her healthy relationship and leaps into self destruction, smut!, threesome, unprotected sex (kids, know your sexed! this is not an example is a fanfic use your condoms) daddy and praise kinks, chocking, dirty talk, binding, kyle is very dom and will likes to be called daddy but he is also a sub in here, don't come for me

<- part I | <- Part II prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist

The party was proceeding. She couldn’t say it was going well, but it was going. The two-dozen people they invited were enjoying themselves at least. They were mostly Mark’s friends, which included old colleagues from RevPro and a few other people they got to know in the years they lived in the city, plus a handful of Erika and Kyle’s friends, just for variety. Food and drinks served. Music and chattering filled the room as people gathered and mingled. On the surface, everything seemed good. 

It did feel like the longest time of her life though.

When Kyle and Mark arrived, she felt able to breathe for the first time. Grateful, mostly for the unaware support their arrival granted her, Erika leaped into her brother’s arms, clinging onto his solar, happy energy and protection to feel shielded.

Everything was fine, she kept reminding herself.

“I am so happy to see you,” she whispered into Mark’s ear as he lifted her up, bear hugging her. 

“I missed you too, little menace,” he chuckled. “Let me look at ya’,” Mark handled her like she weighed nothing, lifting her so he could look at her face, “Yep, still the same little gremlin.”

Erika hugged him some more, finding refuge into his chest. “You gotta tell me all about the news from back home,”

“Ah, you know, always the usual. Mum misses you so much, she cried a lot. It’s kinda hard to watch sometimes. Dad on the other side is unaware as usual. He has finished building the shed though!”

“Are you joking!? You mean the shed?” 

Mark nodded as a massive smile nested on his lips. “Oh, yes, baby. Fucking mental.”

“I knew early retirement would have done him good!”

“God,” Mark chuckled, “Brace yourself because now he needs a new project.”

“Oh, god,” she chuckled with him. 

Erika knew seeing Mark was everything she needed to feel better. Saying she had missed him wasn’t enough. She could already feel herself healing inside. Her pain wasn’t disappearing, but there was a light that was shining in her now. Mark was always able to pick her up in a way not even Kyle could. Her brother had always been her biggest support system and best friend. But he was more than that. He saw her growing up. Helped her through her lowest and loved her regardless, even when others had given up on her. He was the part of her family she couldn’t bear to live apart.

“Listen, listen, I’ve got a good one for you.” Continued Mark, excitement glimmering through his eyes. He was clearly equally happy to see her. “Auntie Janice has a thirty-two-year boyfriend. Which is weird. I’ve met him. Nice bloke. But he’s basically my age so, weird.”

“Ugh,” she shivered, trying to shake off the repulsive thought of her aunt in a relationship with a guy half her age. “She is mental.”

“Firecracker,” Mark chuckled, “Oh and Virna got married.”

“Virna? Your high school sweetheart and my babysitter Virna?”

“Yes.”

“The crazy Virna that still tries to hook up with you any time you are back home?”

“That’s the one!”

“Did you go break her heart?” Erika wondered pocking his cheek only causing Mark to melt in a loud burst of laughter.

“Of course I did, gotta keep up our family tradition of stealing hearts. Fucked her and then her husband-to-be,” Mark smiled all proud and unashamed, only causing her to shake her head.

“And you call me a menace, Mr?”

Mark was still laughing wholeheartedly as he put her down, to which point it was Kyle’s turn to pull her into a hug she didn’t refuse. She nuzzled into his chest, magnetically attracted to him. Erika inhaled his scent deep into her lungs, wishing she could travel in the future, to when everyone would be gone and she could find soothe in his arms.

“I am sorry for before,” he whispered to her ear before kissing her forehead. 

Erika shook her head sliding her arms around his waist, looking for contact in a way that was more than habit, by now. It was natural. “Don’t be. I am sorry.”

Kyle looked down into her eyes, cupping her face into his palms. His touch was soft and warm. He didn’t only pick up her gaze, but her entire spirit too. He studied her features with a gentle smile curling his full lips, “I love you.” He reminded her, “and you look beautiful,”

“Thank you, you are not bad either” she melted into a smile looking him up and down, “I love you too.” She then said, popping up on her tippytoes to kiss him.

“Everything ok?” He wondered after, checking the place out.

Erika nodded, lying, pushing all that had happened in the back of her mind. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Kyle answered looking for Will, who was taking his time to welcome Mark with a big hug and heavy pats on the back. “Welcome home, bruv. ‘Was starting missing you ‘round here.”

“I’m so back, mate. How the hell are you?”

Erika did her best to ignore their conversation. It was so difficult for her to hate Will when he was so affectionate with her brother. Or with Kyle.

After that, Erika spent most of her time hanging around Mark but would leave anytime Will approached them, granting him the chance to spend time with his best friend. She did the same thing when it was about Kyle, leaving him to have some fun with Mark and Will and just mingling with the rest of their friends. 

But she should have assumed she wouldn’t have been allowed to hide for long.

“What’s happening between you and Will?” Wondered suddenly Mark as she went for a refill on her wine. Surprisingly, she hadn’t given into the booze. But she did sip on some wine to grant her some liquid courage to survive the evening.

Erika choked and cleared her voice, looking up at her brother. “What do you mean?” She tried to play coy, smiling at the catering attendant who served her.

Mark read right through her pretending and whipped a wise smile, taking the piss out of her. “What would I ever mean!?” He wondered jokingly, “Do you think I was born yesterday, little one?”

Erika huffed and, taking a sip of her wine, she looked through the room, directly searching for Will. He was chatting to Kyle and a couple of her friends about something. They laughed. Will grabbed Kyle by the nape of the neck and pulled him under his arm, showing him off. They both had such a big smile printed on their faces, glimmering eyes and blushed cheeks. Her heart skipped a beat.

It was so unfair.

I wish l never met you.

Her own terrible words echoed into her mind, making her cringe to the thought of what their reality had become.

She was the extra piece. She was the sore, exposed nerve that didn’t work. Will had no problem with either Kyle or Mark and if she dared to explain what was happening between them, she was terrified of the consequences for the trio.

“Nothing.” She looked back, shrugging, “We just didn’t see eye to eye on something.”

“And for that reason, you aren’t talking or sharing the same square meter of space?”

“Yep.”

Mark lowered himself to her heigh and studied her features closely. “Nah. Don’t believe you. What did you disagree about?”

“The canapés.” She lied, pulling a kiss-ass smile. Mark read right through her, might as well not even try to make up a good lie. 

“Fuck off,” he chuckled, “I don’t believe you for a second.”

Erika pointed at herself and her big glass of white wine. “Do I look like someone who wants to talk about the only person I am avoiding at the party?”

“Oh, so you are avoiding him,” Mark looked back at Will, this time his curiosity was undeniable, whereas, for her, she had nothing but melancholy when she looked at him. 

This time, as if she had called him, Will was looking in their direction. They made eye contact. Erika didn’t look back, she challenged him raising her chin. He was going to be the one looking down if he so despised her. Though Will didn’t. 

Mark replied with something else but she wasn’t listening anymore.

Time slowed down while she was hooked on Will’s gaze and wasn’t able to let go. For only a moment, she thought she had seen the spark of interest in his eyes. But she was sure she was imagining things; it was gone in a heartbeat. Still, he didn’t look away either.

He smiled at one of the two girls. She had her hand on his bicep and was laughing at something he had said. Will leaned in, saying something into her ear. His gaze didn’t move from Erika's.

She had never been the jealous type. Never once in her life. But she was now. 

“That sure looks like nothing, dude,” Mark poked her, thought this time he wasn’t amused but puzzled. Erika quickly looked back up at him but he was busy scrutinising Will’s behaviour. “What’s going on, Erika?”

“Everyone’s favourite question,” she smiled sarcastically behind the rim of her glass, taking a sip of wine. “We argued. End of story. Let it go Mark.”

She should have known Mark wouldn’t have let it go, for the life of her. He was only able to fix things. Especially when it involved her. He was the protector, and knowing something was wrong wasn’t something he could ignore, ever. But he at least accepted her request momentarily. 

“Wanna do shots and then dig into those mini sausage rolls?” He offered instead. 

“Hell yeah, let’s see if I can still beat you at not making faces as I down straight vodka.”

“You are on, I’ve trained for this moment,” Mark rubbed his hands together.

“C’mon old man,” she giggled.

It was nice. Pleasant. For a little while, she allowed herself to celebrate her brother without thinking about the rest. 

They took two shots of vodka each and then proceeded to down countless tiny sausage rolls each, all the while Mark was ready to fill her up with stories from home. 

Maybe, if the evening had continued that way, she thought she’d be able to make it, after all. Sounded nice. Not the win she wanted but a win all the same.

“You should really consider popping back home as soon as your schedule clears,”

“I wish,” she huffed, “I’ve got back-to-back events from now to September with AEW, RevPro and Japan. Summer season is always busy.”

“Ok,” Mark nodded, “you do not have to take a month's break like I did. Japan is an awful close home if you want to pop down for a couple of days. Everyone would love to see you.”

She felt slightly uncomfortable with the idea. She loved her family, there were many reasons why she was grateful to them. But she was also a very different person now from the girl she was at nineteen when she left Australia. She didn’t like going back because it often reminded her about all the wrong she had done and everything she had messed up and missed because she was a difficult teenager.

Just like he could read her mind, Mark patted her back affectionately, “I know, I am sorry. I had to say it. Mum would love to see you.”

“I know, I know. It’s just I don’t know how to carry myself with pride around there. Here or while I work it’s different. But back home?”

“Back home you are one of the most famous people they’d know! Your name has been published, and the pictures you take are in magazines and on many companies’ socials and promos. There’s nothing you need to be ashamed of anymore.”

“Ah, on that I disagree.” Erika leaned her head on Mark’s shoulder, releasing a small huff, “But you are right. Maybe as soon as Kyle can take a couple of days off too.”

“Sure you want to bring him home with you?”

“Yeah? Why?” She suspiciously looked up at her brother, “They’ve known and loved Kyle for ages! What do you know I don’t?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he tapped his fingers on his chin. “Although mum wants grandchildren so expect the conversation from her.”

Erika chuckled and threw a soft punch at his shoulder, shaking her head. “You are unbelievable! Why do I have to have this conversation? I’m only a little girl! Look at you, thirty-two, strong, handsome famous and still a scoundrel.”

“Which is why the pressure is on you. You and Kyle have been together what? Five years now?”

“And we love our childless life, thank you.”

Mark raised his hands in the air, trying his best to appear as innocent as possible. “Hey, I am just the messenger. Talk to your mother. When she started this conversation with me, I yanked out of that place as fast as I could.”

“Fuck me,” she chuckled, pinching the bridge of her nose, “that woman never changes.” 

She hadn’t felt as light-hearted in a long time. Mark brought peace to her even then when she thought she was going to drown. Which was the main reason why, when they got interrupted, she wasn’t all that happy. She wished she could have just spent the rest of the event chatting with her brother, but she was aware that it would have been selfish and defeated the purpose of a social event.

Erika had felt her friend’s attention even before she said anything to her and immediately turned to her, pushing out a forced smile. The fact that she was the one who was standing a little too close to Will some time ago didn’t have anything to do with her sudden change of mood, of course.

“Hey bestie,” Beth’s smile was wide and full of promises and expectations. Her cheeks were blushed, she looked like she just come from a day at the beach. She was a pretty girl, talented too, they had met at the gym some months ago and took the habit of going out for a meal every now and then when Erika was back in London. Erika had always liked her enough, up to that very moment. “Hey Mark,” Beth chirped, “good to see you, how was Australia?”

“Good, thank you, but I am glad to be back.” Mark’s attention slid back on Erika, “I’ll leave you to it,” he said leaning to kiss her forehead fondly, “Just see not to cause trouble.”

“I’ll do my best,” when he slipped away, Erika turned to Beth doing everything in her power to appear as friendly as possible. 

She wasn’t even mad at her. She couldn’t be. She understood. Will attracted people, he had a talent like that, once you were in his orbit you couldn’t get out, he was a true star. If anything, she was even more upset at him because he had so much power over her to make her childish and jealous.

“Hey,” Erika pushed her thought in the back of her mind, “you ok?”

“Yes, thank you. Just wanted to say this is such a nice party, you always manage to get the best atmosphere!”

“Thanks, I think the people we invite are the ones who are the best at that,” 

���Amen,” Beth chuckled. “So, uh, this is a little embarrassing but I have a very quick question for you.”

“Shoot,” Erika nodded. 

“So, you know how I just recently got back being single, yeah?” Erika was already rolling her eyes before Beth could finish her sentence. “And I mean, he looks like a very good saddle to hop back on,” Beth giggled, looking back at Will. 

Erika bit her tongue.

She didn’t want to be mean. She had no right to be. Not one bit. But at the same time, there was a prime need taking over her that made her wish she could tackle the girl and slam her right through the little coffee table by their side. But then again, Erika put herself back into perspective and found herself being more aggressively angry at Will than anything else. He had no right to destabilising her that much and then just leave here there able to do nothing but just look at him from afar. 

It wasn’t Beth's fault, again, she understood. She was the first who fell into Will’s charm. And still, even when she had all the tools to make the right, thought-through decision, Erika still opted for confrontation. 

“So?”

“Well, he’s your friend, right?”

“He is. And if you expect me to put a good word in for you, you are a bit out of the way after you called him a saddle to ride.” 

Beth frowned, “I was obviously joking.” Erika knew that was bullshit. Beth paused and took a sip of her wine, immediately forgetting any reason to possibly be upset, “Anyways, is he single?”

Even though she didn’t want to, Erika felt obliged to tell the truth. She had no right even thinking she could do otherwise. “Yes.”

Beth purred, “Great,” 

“I mean, are you going to make a move on him?” Erika wondered damning herself for caring.

“I think he might. It looked like he was flirting earlier. God, I hope so,” Beth sighed, clearly getting lost in a fantasy. They both looked back at Will, “he looks so pretty and dumb, and at the same time like someone who would unapologetically fuck you stupid.”

Erika wondered when it happened that Beth thought she had all that freedom with her. Maybe she thought that because they were both girls and Erika was in a stable relationship with someone like Kyle then she was free to say the worse and still have her support. How wrong she was.

However, before Erika could say anything, she got lost watching Will interact with Kyle and Mark, and she forgot all about the problem at hand. They were talking to each other all holding a bottle of beer. Kyle was the tallest and stood in the middle of the group as his gaze hopped from one to the other of his friends standing at his sides. The seriousness of their faces only made her crave to know what had just been said. 

Mark raised a hand, explaining something and Will disagreed, shaking his head, so Kyle moved and brushed a hand on Will’s chest, trying to reassure the Brit. 

Erika frowned. What were they saying? She wished she could be a lip reader.

Will gaze traced back to her and caught her watching him. Again, she raised her chin up. He looked crossed, like he was ready to have a confrontation, thought she would bet money she had a bigger pride than his. If he had a problem with her looking at him, he could have just left her house.

Kyle and Mark too looked back at her. Mark kept being puzzled, he was studying the situation more than anything, trying to get an idea of what was happening, all the while Kyle just seemed defeated. 

Will said something that prompted Kyle to take his arm, calling his attention back to him. They exchanged a few words, and by then Erika could only see the intensity of Kyle’s gaze pouring right into Will’s. Kyle placed a hand on Will’s chest and the other on his face, still looking at him, talking and nodding. It seemed like he was trying to reassure him.

Erika damned herself. And damned Will. 

Everything could have been easy. No one needed to get hurt if only he hadn’t decided to go and be an asshole. And now, hell, how did it get to be that bad?

She didn’t even care about herself and her own disappointment and broken heart. She knew she could suffer and handle it. Kinda. But Kyle? She would have ripped her own arms off before letting anything happen to him. And she knew that sooner or later whatever was corroding her from the inside, splitting her and Will up, would have surfaced and impacted Kyle too. 

It was only a matter of time. 

If she kept lying and not talking to him, he would have only got hurt worse by her own hand. And for what? For her to try and prioritize his friendship with Will and protect the Brit!? But her alternative was much worse. She couldn’t, for the life of her, even think about the possibility of giving him any reason to lose trust in his dearest friend.

Kyle had only one family and it was her and the two men standing by him. He was too precious to be let down in any way by any of them.

Beth was still blubbering about Will, but Erika wasn’t listening anymore by then.

Erika cleared her voice, trying to put her thoughts in order. She crossed her arms, trying to find a way to feel secure when the floor underneath her feet seemed to suddenly disappear. Erika downed her wine, having an interior battle about how wise it would have been to go and get herself another glass. She was already feeling the effects of the booze warming her nerves and slightly slowing up her thought process. Was she really considering drinking more?

Yes. Maybe the answer was getting blackout drunk.

“Sorry,” Erika murmured, stepping back and away from Beth, “I’ll be back.” That being said, she turned over and left her empty wine glass on the kitchen countertop on her way to the door.

She needed to get out of there. She needed some fresh air. To clear her head.

Erika patiently waited at the till as her order was being processed. On the counter, already stuck in an anonymous white plastic bag, there was a bottle of whiskey she didn’t need and a snickers bar. Although her attention wasn’t on those items, she yarned at the tobacco and cigarettes dispenser behind the cashier.

Never like that evening, she had craved a cigarette since she quit smoking and yet that was the sole reason why she entered into the off-licence corner shop. She won on her craving though, opting for booze and chocolate. 

She didn’t even want the whiskey. She only bought it to pretend to have an excuse to leave the party. 

“There we go Miss Erika,” the cashier politely smiled, offering her a plastic bag of goodies. He was a sweet, little man just over middle age. She liked him and it sure wasn’t the first time she or Kyle ran to the corner shop for emergency supplies like booze, snacks, ice cream or cigarettes, when she used to smoke. “You look very pretty tonight, Miss.”

“Thank you, Mr Salim,” Erika smiled politely. She appreciated the compliment, but she also felt slightly uncomfortable. She did look completely out of place in her outfit there. But outside on the street, the air was too chilli for how short her dress was or how much of her skin it revealed.

“You are going to have to invite me to one of your parties one of these days,”

“I will when you decide to take a vacation day!”

“Oh,” he chuckled softly, shaking his head, “then, who’s gonna look after my shop?”

Erika picked up her bag, offering the man a small smile. “Then no party for you, Mr Salim.”

He chuckled some more and then shook a finger at her. “Don’t have too much fun, Miss. And give my best to Mr Kyle,”

“I will. Don’t work too hard Mr Salim, have a good night,” she said as she left.

The time she had spent outside her apartment wasn’t remotely enough for her to feel any better. But she had run out of ideas. She wasn’t ready to go back though, but her options were slim. She could have walked up and down the street a couple of times, freezing to death and looking like she just left a club too drunk to realise she wasn’t wearing a coat. Or, she could have gone back into her building complex and waited patiently on the stairs for some time to go buy. Having her sneakers. 

“Erika!”

She gasped and turned over, startled. Her heart missed a beat, as she looked in the direction the voice came from. She recognised him immediately and wished to be strong enough not to react to him, and yet, she wasn’t. 

“Jesus,” Will bent catching his breath, stopping a moment, before approaching her. He looked concerned. “Where did you go!? We got worried.”

“I-” Erika vaguely pointed at the corner shop, rattling the bag in her hand, as if that could be explanation enough. Then she sent him an inquisitive look. “Did you follow me?”

“Well, yes. You just walked out.”

Erika looked up into his eyes, confronting him. “I thought you were damning the day you met me. Funny that you also run after me.”

“I needed to talk to you.”

“Well?” She wondered opening her arms, “I’m right here, go on then. Bet this one can’t be any better than anything you had to say before.”

Will hesitated. He looked at her for a long second, studying her face and the longer he looked, the more puzzled his expression became. “Why are you this mad at me?” He wondered, dropping whatever reason he seemed to have to confront her. His tone was now just sad and soft. “What did I ever do to you to deserve what you are doing?”

Erika scoffed in his face, shaking her head. “What the fuck?” She was smiling dangerously, hovering so close to losing every drop of patience and maturity she had in her, “What am I doing? Let’s hear it.” She didn’t drop anything and went under him as if she was ready to physically take him on. “This better be good Ospreay. Enlighten me.”

“What did you say to your brother?” Will too was quick to heat back up. “For a start.”

“Nothing. What the fuck are you talking about!?”

“Why do I have to justify anything to Mark?” Will pressed on. 

“He’s my brother. I tell him whatever the fuck I want.”

“I have done nothing wrong.” Will plead. “If you dare to put Mark or Kyle against me on a whim of yours, then,”

“Then what, Will?” She snapped, “Are you threatening me?”

He seemed more confused than her. As if her words just made him realise what kind of boundaries he was breaking, Will took a step back, rubbing his hands on his face. “Fuck’s sake,” he murmured, “Just-” when he turned back to her, he looked desperate. His hurt hit her right in the stomach. “Don’t do this. Don’t put them against me. Mark is like a brother. And Kyle-” he chocked, “I love Kyle, you know that.”

He was hurting. She shouldn’t have cared. After everything, she should have ignored him or worse, she should have kept being enraged by his behaviour. And yet, something in her gut stopped her. It was impossible to her the idea of willingly hurting him. 

“Will,” she whispered, hesitating a second before taking a step closer to him. “I would never do that. Don’t you think I know what you guys mean to each other?

“You tell me,”

“Don’t you know me?”

“I don’t know what I know anymore,”

His words hit her deeper than she expected and showed on her face. Her eyes mirrored her pain as she looked right into him, unable to hide it any longer. 

“Why?” She wondered, her voice trembling, “what changed?”

“What do you mean what changed?” His gaze hardened.

Erika was on the verge of tears by then and she had decided she wasn’t going to hide anymore. Fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck her pride. 

“Why did you have sex with me and Kyle if you had to go and make it so awkward after?”

It was like she spoke another language. Will looked at her like she had just stubbed him right in the heart. “I don’t know. At this point, I don’t know why I did it.”

Equally, he hit her right back. 

She felt her chest squeeze, constricted by the freezing cold disappointment of realising she had been mistaken all along. There was no saving anything. No fixing.

“Do you regret it?” She wondered, turning away and catching a tear as soon as she started crying as if that was enough to hide away from him. She didn’t even care to appear pathetic anymore.

“I think I do,” he admitted.

“So, that’s it.” Erika looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. She let him see her and ignored how hesitation and doubt kicked in him. “Don’t worry,” she waved her hand, taking a step back, “I was wrong. I made a mistake. I won’t say anything to Mark or Kyle about this.”

It was over.

Now she had to find a way to keep that little amount of pride she had left up high and do everything in her power to find a way to not ruin her relationship with Kyle trying to protect him.

Before she could slip away, Will grabbed her by her shoulders and made her look at him. “Do you know why I regret it?”

She tried to escape him, “Please, Will, I said I’m done. I’ll leave you alone. Why do you have to be so cruel?”

Instead of letting her go, he cupped her face, making her look directly at him. 

Erika wished not to with every inch of her being but his touch was warm and she melted into it. 

“I’m going mad. Why are you crying like this?”

“Because you are a damn bastard,” she didn’t yell, she didn’t fight anymore, “You never noticed how much I liked you before? Do you think I’d invite any random guy to share a bed with me and Kyle?” She shook her head, “This is entirely on me, I understand my mistake. And I am not even upset about hooking up. I am upset because you just shut me out after. I understand why Kyle is more important to you, but seeing how nothing changed between you two and how everything changed with me-”

“You left.” Will simply said. “That morning, you left. I felt awkward with Kyle too as we woke up. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say or do. I wasn’t even sure if I could look at him. We had always been close but clearly never that close. It was a new circumstance for the both of us and you weren’t there,” he cleared his voice, his cheeks blushing, “but it’s pretty easy to sort out stuff between boys.”

“You think I left you!?” Erika paused, looking into his eyes. Something clicked in her mind and she felt like the ground had opened underneath her feet. Now everything that had happened, everything that had been said, suddenly assumed a different light. 

“I assumed,”

“You fucking dumb son of a bitch,” Erika punched his chest with no real intention of hurting him, “You assumed wrong. I thought you left me! I only went for a run because I woke up buzzing with energy and didn’t know where to put it. I felt awkward and scared and I needed time to think.”

“Think about what?”

“Why it meant so much to be with you, for one. And what it could possibly mean for me and Kyle. It doesn’t happen every fucking day I fuck two guys.”

“I-” Will choked through his words, still looking at her like she spoke another language. “It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why wouldn’t Kyle say anything?”

“Kyle didn’t know!” She gave Will another push but she was ready to fight him if he tried to get away from her, “I haven’t spoken to Kyle in a week. I couldn’t. Anytime he asked questions I’d shush him and fuck him. I knew that if I had told him how I was hurt he’d be crossed at you. I thought it was better this way.”

“Why you didn’t try to reach out?”

“Why didn’t you?” Erika’s words seemed to bring him some sense, to which point she nodded, “Can you blame me?”

“No.”

“And then tonight,” she started, shaking her head, “I thought I’d use the occasion to understand what the fuck happened but we just kept saying more horrible things to each other.”

“I hated to see how happy you looked like nothing mattered. Doing your thing in your little party with all your little friends,” Will bent his lips.

“You were my exact mirror. It looked like you didn’t care,”

“God,” Will pulled her to his chest in a hug she didn’t refuse. Maybe she should have fought a little longer, only to make him understand how much he hurt her, but she couldn’t, she was too tired for that and feeling his welcoming chest under her head, and his warmth surrounding her, was everything she needed.

Her pain was gone. She was still shaken and her pride was still bruised in a way she wasn’t sure she could fix because she now felt like the most stupid person in the world who created a problem and basked in her own grave after she dug it happily. But her chest was free. 

Erika slid an arm around Will’s waist, holding him solidly and pressed her face into his shoulder, letting him hold her tight. He pushed a hand into her hair, cradling her softly. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by what I’ve said. I didn’t mean it.”

“I mean it when I say you are a dumb son of a bitch,” she sniffled, looking up at him. She pulled a timid smile, while drying her tears off her face, hoping her make up wasn’t completely ruined. 

There was a small pause and then Will finally smiled, chuckling at her words. To her, it looked like seeing the sun shining bright in the sky after a long, long time of bad weather. 

“I am an idiot.”

“Yes,” she agreed.

Will cupped her face in his hands, taking a moment to enjoy feeling her in his grasp, his smile softened. “Can I kiss you? Please?”

“You better, Billy Goat, or I won’t speak to you ever again.”

He didn’t even let her finish her sentence before he pulled her into a kiss. At first, he only pressed his lips on hers, still slightly uncertain, but as soon as Erika slid her hand up his chest and around his neck, he warmed up completely, closing her in between his arms and deepening their kiss.

Erika purred when their tongues crossed and pushed her hand into his hair, feeling the need to cross her fingers into his curls.

“Never again,” Erika whispered against his lips, “you do not keep secrets from me. When something is wrong, you must talk about it.”

He nodded, pecking at her lips. “Yes, ma’am. I think you need to talk to Kyle now.”

“Yes,” she released a sad huff, “I feel so sorry. I didn’t mean to shut him out. Neither of you.”

“He’ll understand. He’s Kyle.” Will pulled a confident smile Erika couldn’t keep herself from kissing. 

“Will you stay tonight?” 

“If you want me to.”

“Please,” she pulled him into another heated kiss. Only the thought of having both him and Kyle to herself was enough to make her brain stop working completely.

Will let go of her only to press his forehead on hers, inhaling a deep, peaceful breath. 

“What’s in the bag?” He wondered sliding his hand over her arm and hooking his fingers onto the plastic bag.

“Just a snicker bar and some whiskey. I needed an excuse to leave. And I needed an excuse not to get a packet of cigarettes.”

Will took the bag off her hold as if it was something that weighed too much for her and then slid a heavy arm around her shoulders, pulling her under his side, and rubbing his hand over her. “Let’s get you inside.” Will softly kissed her temple.

“Okay,” Erika smiled, leaning against him and resting her hand on his chest, unable to let go. 

They rode the elevator in silence, just hugging, enjoying that moment of peace and then walked hand in hand back to the flat, although Erika stopped him a moment before he could go back in. 

She giggled as she pushed him against the wall. 

“Someone could see us,” he whispered not at all refusing her.

Erika tapped her fingers on his chest, tracing them up his neck and chin. “I don’t care.” She whispered pulling him into a kiss. “Did you know you made a conquest at the party?”

“Did I?” Will closed his arms around her waist, pulling her against him, widening his strong thighs so she could stand in between his legs.

“Mh,” she did to kiss him and then moved away last minute, making him want it. “My friend Beth said you have the look of a pretty, dumb guy who’d fuck you stupid.”

“Well,” he chuckled, “she isn’t wrong.”

Erika pulled him by the chin, brushing her lips against his. Tasting his breath on her tongue made her stomach vibrate and melt into a warm feeling that slid down into her abdomen. “I’ve never been so jealous in my life.” She teased. “I wanted to put her through a table.”

“I would have paid money to see that.” Will switched position, pushing her against the wall, trapping her lips into a kiss and pressing his body against hers. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Just saying,” she smiled, “that’s the expectation around here.”

“Yours?” Erika purred, answering to him with another kiss. Will smiled against her lips, nodding. “Noted.” He then pushed his face into her neck, assaulting her sensitive skin. “I could start now,” Will rested the plastic bag on the floor and then his hands ran quickly to her naked legs, reaching for the helm of her dress, “would you like that, love?”

His coarse voice vibrated low right through her skin sending a shiver down her spine. It was inebriating. They had been together only once and yet she had missed him like it had been a lifetime.

Erika stretched and bent underneath him, her hands trailing across his chest and shoulders, avidly feeling the edge of his muscles under her palms. She was eager to feel him move under her touch, craving to have him naked only so she could watch him move for her. She bit her lips shut, trying her hardest to suffocate a whimper, already struggling to keep quiet and he was barely stroking her legs. 

“This,” Will pointed out as his fingers followed the edge of her dress, “is a very tiny dress, love,” he pressed his smile just under her chin. “It was so hard being around you all night, it was.” Just like he had a point to make, Will’s hands traced up her body, following the edges of her dress cutting a low neckline across her stomach. He toyed with the thin golden chains that kept it together. “wanted me and Kyle to become madmen, didn’t you?” he teased looking down at her.

“I wore it for you,” she looked at him only pretending to be all innocent, biting her lower lip. 

“You are such a cheeky little tease, you are,” Will leaned in for a kiss. 

She would have lied if she said she cared in the slightest about being in her very public floor corridor, where everyone could walk by and see she was unashamedly making out with someone who wasn’t her boyfriend. But, besides her pressing desire to forget everything about their misunderstanding and just get lost in Will’s arms, Erika still pressed a hand on his chest. 

She huffed, trying to get a hold of her thoughts. “Hold on,” she pushed in the middle of his chest with more conviction, not because she didn’t think that he would stop at her words, but because she needed something to hold onto. And she needed air. She couldn’t think straight when her senses where so overwhelmed by him. “We need to talk to Kyle.”

Will’s gaze was soft as he crossed her face. He leaned his head to the side and raised a hand to her jaw, tracing it to her chin. “Yes.”

Erika raised her chin, looking at him right in the eye. “I know we have lots more to talk about to understand what this thing is,” she pointed between them, “but I do not want only sex from you.” She felt her cheeks blush and her heart pitter-patter in her chest as emotions flew across her. She wasn’t the shy type, never was. And hell, if she would have let misunderstanding get in the way of her and her happiness again. “Just so we are clear.”

“No?” Will pecked her lips softly, not hiding a big dumb smile curling on his lips. “And what is it that you’d like? Tell me, love.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still want you to fuck me stupid.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckled.

“But I think I’d like to try and date you.”

“I am pretty sure I can clear my schedule a little and find some space to take you out.”

Erika nodded, pulling a timid smile. “Do you think Kyle will be on board?”

“Considering he’d jump off a building for you and the fact that you Australians are fucking mental, I think it’s safe to say he would. Plus,” 

The way Will blushed and his eyes trailed off, as he shied away, made her attention pop. A big, teasing smile grew on her lips as Erika poked his chest. “What was that? What aren’t you telling me, Ospreay?”

“I mean,” he was still avoiding eye contact, hiding behind his stupid smile that made her go insane, “I think I won’t have a problem dating either of you.”

“What are you saying?” She wondered feeling his words sliding right through her and into her stomach, making her feel warm and comforted. She did understand what he meant already but wanted so badly to hear it coming from him.

“I mean, you know, Kyle is very special to me.”

“Is he?” She purred.

“He’s very talented, very kind and very beautiful,” Will pointed out, “Why would I have a problem with that?”

“Are you saying you have a crush on my boyfriend?” She smiled proudly, somehow feeling that information weight right in her belly, making her tremble under her own skin. 

There was something forbidden and tremendously beautiful to the idea that not only Will and Kyle liked her but they could also like each other. She was shaken by the need ok knowing, of seeing it happen. 

She had known them both a very long time and witnessed years of flirting, but always assumed it was innocent playing around. She would lie if she said she never fantasised about it. Actually, that was at the very core of her threesome fantasies, honestly, but never before she had found a reason to bring it up. Erika settled thinking that was just how things were between them. They all did it with each other. And both Kyle and Will had the same behaviour with Mark. But now she was starting to wonder if something may have been different all along.

“Maybe I do,” Will proceeded, glimmering eyes and rose cheeks popping up under his smile. He tapped his index softly on the tip of her nose, “but you sure are nosy, aren’t you?”

“I am not!” She chuckled, “But I am intrigued.”

“Ah, yeah?” He wondered leaning in for a kiss, “You like the idea that I might like your boy, uh?” he brushed his lips against hers, “does it turn you on, love?”

“God,” Erika exhaled, nodding even before words could come out. She felt her throat seal shut and needed desperately a breath of fresh air just to clear her head because what she was picturing in her thoughts wasn’t only improper, but extremely out of place considering they were supposed to be locked in a room full of people for the rest of the evening. 

Will puffed up his chest with pride and smiled. “You are so very bad, you are.”

Erika pulled him into another kiss with a smile on her lips and then forced herself to push him off herself with a chuckle. She wasn’t ready to go back to the party just yet, and especially when she couldn’t be all over him and her boyfriend, but the voice of reason reminded her they both had been gone a while.

“C’mon handsome, let’s go back before they’ll send a search squad.” 

Will nodded, “As you wish, love.”

As soon as they went through the door, most eyes moved on them. Most were puzzled as the flow of the party slowed. Erika wasn’t bothered by anyone else’s reaction; her attention was only for one person.

She smiled as soon as she made eye contact with Kyle, who looked over to them from the other side of the room, easily peeking above everyone else’s head. He was quick to assert the situation, studying her and Will and then a soft, large smile popped on his lips too as he deduced everything that needed to be said by their respective body language.

Before she could go to him, Erika slipped by the catering people, leaving her miserable bag of excuses on the open kitchen counter. “Don’t worry about this one, ok?” She instructed the girl standing the closest to her, who nodded willingly. “Thank you. You are smashing it,” she then added, showing her appreciation for their job. More would have come into the fat tip they would have left them at the end of the evening. 

The girl pulled a large smile nodding gratefully. “Thank you, ma’am, glad you are enjoying it.”

As Erika turned, she found Will waiting for her. She wished she could have better control over herself, but she still blushed under his eyes, unable to hide her interest. She brushed her hand on his abdomen as she passed him over. “You should mingle, now.”

“Or I could just look at you,” he whispered softly to her ear, “and think about all the things I will do to you once we’ll be alone.”

Erika was crossed by a shiver. “I hate you so much, Billy.”

“No, you don’t.”

She shook her head and had to gather all her strength and control to slip off him. It didn’t matter what she did, he had planted a seed into her mind and now she wasn’t able to think about anything else but what he had said. Her stomach was already trembling in anticipation. God, she was ready to kick everyone out, even her own brother, just to be able to have the rest of the night with him and Kyle already.

Erika managed to leave Will and cross the room, reaching for Kyle’s side. He was talking to a couple of the guys he and Mark met training. As soon as she was close, Kyle pulled her under his arm, dragging her naturally to his side, not losing the flow of his conversation. 

“Hey,” she greeted them wrapping her arms around Kyle’s waist.

She didn’t care too much about their conversation, it was loads of opinions about wrestling technicalities and she didn’t have the focus to get into it.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She wondered popping her chin on his chest, looking up at him.

“Of course,” Kyle kissed her forehead and then looked over to the other two, “Sorry boys, I’ll get back to you.”

Erika grabbed his hand and pulled him with her to the bedroom, seeking some privacy. As they crossed the room, she briefly looked back finding Will sitting with Mark on the sofa, they were clearly having a lively conversation with some other people. When she noticed that Beth was standing there between everyone, listening to whatever Will was saying with interest. Erika couldn’t help herself from whipping out a victorious smile. She was maybe being extremely childish, but knowing what the other girl wanted was ultimately hers fed right into her pride.

Erika found soothe into shutting everyone else behind her back, as she closed the door. The bedroom was nice and quiet, bringing her to release a relieved huff. “God, I feel like this party is going on forever.”

“Do you?” Kyle’s propped her chin up just so he could lean in for a kiss.

Erika immediately melted in his hold. Her hands raced up his arms and around his shoulders, as she took a long moment to enjoy being in his arms. As soon as their tongues crossed, Erika was crossed by another, powerful, hot shiver sliding down her spine and nesting into her abdomen, making her tremble. Kyle’s arms caged her. His hands slid on her body, feeling her curves.

“You,” she started, breaking her kiss, trying to catch her breath, “need to stop right now,”

“Or what, baby?” He backed her up against the wall, a confident smile printed on his lips and laser-focused eyes glimmering at her like the ones of a hungry wolf. 

Erika tried to keep her hands planted in the centre of his chest, keeping him steady, but she wasn’t truly fighting him off as Kyle leaned in looking for her lips again.

“We have guests,” she panted, trying to maintain some sense, unsure what strength was driving her, especially after she had been turned on so much by Will just a moment ago. “We can’t just disappear,”

“I am sure everyone who noticed we slipped away is thinking we are fucking.” 

Erika chuckled, sliding her hands through Kyle’s hair as he traced the line of her jaw. “Believe it or not I didn’t drag you here for a quickie.”

“No?” He sounded genuinely sad about it, “That is not very nice, babe.”

“Pretty please? I need to tell you something and it’s really hard for me to focus when you are all over me.”

“Seems I am still not doing a good job at it,”

“Shut up Fletcher,” she playfully pushed him off her, shaking her head. “When everyone is gone, and especially my brother. You can toy with me as you please.”

“I’ll keep you up on that.” Kyle looked down at her offering a cheeky smile. Then, he backed off, going and sitting on the edge of the bed. “So,” he started looking at her with interest, “you and Will made up?”

“About that,” she started stepping closer, “yes, we did. But before we talk about that I need to apologise.”

“For what, baby?” Kyle pulled her closer to him, making her stand in between his long legs. When he was sat, they were almost the same hight.

Erika rested her arms on his shoulders and tenderly stroked his hair, offering a small, soft but ashamed smile. “I didn’t mean to keep you out.”

“You never have to apologise to me.”

“No,” she pressed on, “I do. Please, be mad at me for once,”

“You want me to be mad?”

“No, I mean, take my apologise like you were.”

“Ok,” Kyle paused to process her words, “so tell me, now,” he looked up into her eyes, “tell me what it is you didn’t tell me all week.”

“I didn’t want to be an inconvenience. I didn’t want my problem to taint your relationship with Will. So, I couldn’t tell you how hurt I was when I found out he just left that morning and then didn’t reach out to me. I realise that if I had said something to you, this situation would have been easily resolved, but I didn’t, so I managed to convince myself Will was ignoring me just as much as he convinced himself about the same thing,”

“First, you will never be an inconvenience to me. Second, you convinced me too. I knew something was off, but because you didn’t say a word about Will, I understood it the other way around.”

“Like?”

“Like you wanted to forget that night. Which is why I didn’t bring it up ever again. Until today. I started to suspect I misunderstood just today.”

“I am sorry,” Erika shook her head, “I feel so stupid. This could have ended so badly.” Her breath was suddenly shaken as she looked away. “I know how much Will means to you and I couldn’t bear to be the sore nerve in the middle of your beautiful relationship so,”

Before she could continue, Kyle pulled her into a kiss, silencing her. “Don’t say it,” he whispered, “do not say what you almost did. Which, by the way, I wouldn’t let you do. I would never let you leave me. Not like this. Not until I am certain that’d be the only way to make you happy. But not like this.”

“See? You would have fought.”

“Hell yeah,”

“Why would you fight for me when I thought about leaving you,” Erika paused again, “I am so sorry.”

“Erika, baby,” Kyle made her look at him, “You aren’t thinking of leaving me because you are selfish or mean. I can see that everything you did, even if it may have been a degree wrong, you did it to protect my interest to the best of your abilities.” Kyle slid his hands around her face, stroking her cheeks. “I appreciate you. I love you. But don’t ever think I’d be happier without you.”

“I promise I won’t keep anything from you,” Erika pushed a hand on his chest, just above where his heart was, “No more secrets.”

“That would be wise,” Kyle chuckled. His smile was as fresh as the breeze, making her feel reassured, “Especially since I seem to be the voice of reason around here.”

“Then, coming to the most pressing matter.” Erika started, looking down again. Her cheeks were slowly blushing, “I want to date Will.”

“Are you leaving me for Billy Goat!?” Kyle placed a hand on his chest, pretending to look shocked. “I knew he was bad business,”

“C’mon, mate,” Erika gave him a playful push, “be serious you idiot,”

“Right,” Kyle nodded, “Am I invited to join this dating party? Or is it an exclusive?”

“No. I mean yeah, yes you are invited. I mean, you must be there.” Erika cleared her voice, just saying it out loud brought images into her mind making her thoughts all foggy and her stomach twist. “I would like to welcome Will in the couple, that’s it. Because I like him. I’ve been liking him a while,” she talked fast as if pushing out the words as quickly as possible could somehow hide her from Kyle’s reaction.

“Yeah, I know that babe,”

“So, what do you think?”

She didn’t even think about the possibility of his refusal. What if he was only interested in a one-night stand and didn’t care to indulge her? What if he didn’t like the idea of sharing all of that with Will?

Kyle shrugged, “I mean I am down for it. What did Will say?”

“He’s totally smitten by you. Called you beautiful, quoting.”

“I mean, I am beautiful, but that’s beside the point.”

Erika chuckled, “You are such a dumb prick sometimes,”

Kyle still blushed, even though he had just been cocky, “I’d like that. I mean it’s not a secret how much I feel for Will so,”

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between close friendship and romance,”

“Is there?” Kyle wondered, “Or maybe I just never openly admitted that I like him and that’s why we are so close. I mean, not that I have thought about it enough to put a label on it, but I wouldn’t oppose having him around more often. Equally, I have no problem getting on with the both of you.”

“Oh,” Erika chuckled, nodding, “that I know.” 

In her belly, Erika felt a warm feeling distending and sliding across her body, under her skin, lulling her into a new relaxed state. It wasn’t only finding relief after days of intense, nerve-wracking anxiety and dreadful sadness, it was also joy, deep and pure. 

She hadn’t planned anything to go the way it went in the past few days and certainly, she wasn’t expecting it to end up like a bloody fairytale happy ending. She had convinced herself of the opposite. But now she couldn’t think about anything but being grateful. 

If only she had known earlier that things would have turned out that way.

She then pulled him into a hug, pushing her face into the crook of his neck. Erika cradled him gently, assimilating the consistency of his solid body in her arms. “Whatever, you know? I love you.”

“I love you too, always.” 

Erika was completely taken by pleasure. She felt like she was floating. Her body didn’t feel hers anymore. She didn’t have weight or consistency. No thoughts, only emotions. She was only her pleasure, wrapped and moulded under heavy bodies, hot hands and hungry mouths.

Kyle kept her solidly pressed against his chest. He had one hand wrapped around her throat as his other arm twisted around her waist, just so he could have easy access to her clit, only intensifying her pleasure as she took both of them in. She was riding Will’s cock, as Kyle fucked her ass. 

“You are doing so good, pet,” he lulled at her ear. 

They were taking it extremely slow now, especially for the standards they were getting her used to, but it wasn’t certainly the pace of their night. The boys had been relentless and merciless, making her come countless times already and still keeping her pleasure rolling.

Erika thought she could snap and go insane. She had never cried because of pleasure before. She had heard of the event. Maybe even see it when watching dirty, hardcore porno but never experienced it herself. Up to tonight.

The first-time tears had started streaming down her face, both Will and Kyle froze, thinking they were hurting her somehow, only making her go more feral. Erika had to threaten them not to stop, ever. Unless she told them so. And they hadn’t ever since.

She had never experienced anything like what she was feeling that night. Not even the first time they were together the pleasure was quite so high. But that night was somehow hotter, and dirtier, the things they did and said to each other were more prohibited and inebriating. And none of the trio seemed to have enough of the other two.

Erika whimpered, too exhausted even to moan louder. Erika sat down on Will’s cock, slowly, accompanied by Kyle’s hand guiding her movements as the Aussie proceeded to slide back into her. It was like a synchronised dance between them, supposed to cyclically fill her up as much as possible. She had begged for it but could never be ready for the real feeling. She had experience with anal and even double penetration, as she and Kyle liked to play with toys, but her toys weren’t as big as both those boys fucking her. She felt like she was getting split in two, and loved every second of it. 

Their skin was a sticky mess of sweat, bodily fluids and lube. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Kyle’s pure satisfaction vibrated through his voice, making her purr.

Words escaped her mind just as easily as thoughts did, she was abandoned in between their arms, body and soul, Erika only managed to slowly nod at him.

She felt Kyle's sharp smile pressed on her shoulder as he looked down at Will and invited her to a holt. In her stillness, Erika took a second to catch her breath, relaxing her lower abdomen and adjusting to both men's sizes. 

She wasn’t at all mad at Kyle’s chosen pace. It gave her a chance to catch her breath – as much as still being fucked and held by the throat, hands tied behind her back could do. But she knew that Kyle’s slow torture wasn’t targeted at her, for once. She knew the Aussie's bright eyes were pointed at Will just as much as she was aware his sharp, challenging smile was for the Brit too, as Kyle had taken control over the both of them. 

And she was in with Kyle’s game. Hearing Will whimpering underneath her, begging for pleasure, made her go insane.

He too had his hands bound. He was trapped by handcuffs locked to the bed board and she loved to see how he moved and stretched underneath her. His muscles twitching and contracting. His big arms looked so good bent above his head. 

She had taken a mental note of how much she liked it and thought next time she would have tied down both boys, planning to take her time to play with both.

However, that wasn’t quite the only thing that sent her completely feral. The desperate insanity of her attraction to the two men she was sharing the bed with pivoted when Kyle silenced Will, staffing her panties into his mouth and gagging him.

“Do you want to fuck this pretty boy, pet?” Kyle wondered. His words were enough to make both her and Will tremble. Kyle had his large hand opened wide on her lower abdomen and pressed on her, making her move her hips ever so slowly, causing Will to twitch and huff. 

Erika smiled, turning her head to Kyle as much as his hold on her allowed movement, looking for a kiss. “Please,” she whispered against his lips. “I do.”

“Of course, you do, pet,” he cooed, “that’s what you like doing best, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” 

Kyle dangerously purred in her ear, “No, no, pretty one, don’t disappoint me now,” he pushed her chin up and head back just to make her stretch in his hold. “Say it. Let me hear it,”

Erika moulded under his control, “Please, let me fuck him,” she whined, “I am such a slut for you,” she continued and the more she said, the more she wanted to say just to please the Aussie. “I want you both to cum all over me.”

“That bad, uh?” Kyle pushed her head back so she could watch Will, controlling her hips to move in another painfully slow thrust. And then another, quicker this time. They all moaned. “Shall we milk every drop of what he has to give?” Kyle’s hand stretched over Will’s abdomen, causing the Brit to react to his touch, bending his back with a whine. Before she could even think about responding in any way, Kyle's soft chuckle in her ear gave her a shiver. “Or, I could fuck you some more myself and make him watch.”

Will grunted, impatiently twitching underneath them, trying to buck his hips into her to find some form of satisfaction, trying to lift himself up and fight the firm hold of his handcuffs.

That only caused Kyle to chuckle, “What was that baby? Daddy’s angry?” He guided another slow thrust. “Daddy should learn to be patient, don’t you think, pet?”

She nodded, rolling her head on his shoulder and letting a small moan out, not entirely sure she could think straight anymore. Almost out of habit, without thinking, she moved her hips, taking the initiative to thrust on them. Kyle let her. Her body was stretched like an elastic band ready to snap, pressed under her ever-grown hunger for pleasure that wouldn’t come. Kyle’s torture was making her go mad. 

“Please, Kyle,” she huffed, exchanging a desperate look with Will. They both begged to be satisfied. 

“Yes, pet? What is it?”

“I need-” 

Kyle suffocated her words and ripped a moan out of her as he made her slide up and down Will’s cock pushing himself back into her. Erika opened her mouth wide, rolling her eyes in the back of her skull. The pleasure of feeling them both inside of her was too much even for her to voice it.

“What do you need, baby?” his tone was now softer, more attentive, “Tell me, I will give it to you.”

“J-just fuck me,” she exhaled, “and let me fuck him.”

Kyle was ready to give her what she wanted. He exchanged a nod with Will, only so he would be ready and received a suffocated moan in return, as Will still tried to fight the handcuffs off. “Nah, big boy,” Kyle patted Will on the belly, “you are staying exactly like that.”

A shiver crossed Erika as she nodded, supporting the Aussie. “Daddy’s so pretty tied up.” She purred pressing a smile into Kyle’s jaw.

Will let his head fall on the pillow and bit down on the fabric in his mouth, suffocating a grunt, but the second he stopped resisting, Kyle rewarded him with what everyone wanted.

“C’mon, baby, be a good girl and take what you need from us,” he instructed, letting Erika move freely as she wished on Will’s cock, and respecting her rhythm with his own thrusts.

She stretched against him and rode the Brit. Now it was her turn to be merciless, but Erika had very little patience too. She had been toyed with enough and felt like she was going to implode if she hadn’t found release. She whined, her body already shaking as the wildest wave of pleasure started to grow inside her tummy.

Her fingers spread out on Kyle’s abdomen, touching as much of Kyle’s skin as she could, even though her hands were tied up. 

He kissed her neck, ear and side of her head, only for his hold to become stronger around her throat. “Inhale, pet. Take a deep breath and hold it in those pretty lungs.”

Erika whimpered. A shiver crossed her spine, shaking her. She would have done anything for him but that command, somehow, was groundbreaking. Made her want to drop on her knees and have a collar put around her neck. It made her stomach twist. Her thoughts dissipated; nothing was left but letting herself go in his arms.

She did as instructed, inhaling deeply, just so Kyle could squeeze her throat and choke her. His hold was hot but firm, suffocating her breath and voice into submission as their rhythm only quickened. With every thrust shaking her and her lungs constricting into her chest, Erika felt her caged self spiral towards an undiscovered level of pleasure. 

Kyle lulled sweet words to her ear, encouraging her to take it all. He softly kissed her neck and bit down on her shoulder, suffocating his own moans on her skin. The hand he had around her abdomen quickly moved down between her legs, where he could massage her clit only making her pleasure grow exponentially.

Will arched under her, growling like a rabid animal and grabbing on the bed board, making the entire bed creak under the pressure of his hold. Erika quivered, feeling the mindless need to feel that same strength on her own body, bending her and holding her down.

She so desperately wanted to scream. She wasn’t thinking clearly any longer. 

When pleasure hit her, rolling into her lower belly and exploding through her, making her shake uncontrollably, Kyle caught her and held her, releasing his hold on her throat and letting her breathe. “Good girl,” he praised, cradling her, not stopping for one second fucking her and not allowing her to slow on Will either. “Give it to us, baby,”

Erika cried their names as pleasure muffled all her other senses. Her quivering body squeezed on the boys as she abandoned herself against Kyle’s chest, letting him guide her movements.

Will came first, right after her, following the waves of her pleasure. Kyle moaned too, feeling Will’s dick release inside of her. “That’s it, big boy,” he praised, “fill her pretty pussy up.”

Will filled her up with his hot seed and, whining and groaning, pulled on his handcuffs leaving marks on his wrists. Feeling his pleasure pump inside of her made her feral. Erika was ready to howl like a dog, feeling pure satisfaction in the idea he had just branded her. 

As soon as he was done, Kyle propped her up and continued fucking her, following Will and doing exactly the same thing. He pushed her head up just so he could trap her lips in a famished kiss, suffocating her whimpers as he fucked her mercilessly until he reached his own pleasure, filling her up a second time. Rode his orgasm suffocating his moans in the crook of her neck, hands grabbing on her body like he was trying his best to hold onto something, not to get washed away in his own orgasm.

Erika was a quivering mess. Her mind was completely fogged up and disconnected, to the point she wasn’t entirely aware of the sweet things Kyle chanted in her ear as he untied her wrists and laid her down.

The first thing she felt other than the hot waves of deep pleasure sex just gave her, was the cold air tickling her sweaty skin as she felt completely uncovered for the first time. She had been naked a long time by now, but she always had one boy or the other, or both on her at all time, up to that moment.

Kyle climbed above Will’s chest, full of praising words for him too as he pulled her panties out of his mouth. “You are a good, pretty boy, you know that?” he wondered softly, sliding a hand across Will’s jaw fondly.

Will smiled, not hiding the pink blushing his cheeks. “Thanks, darlin’” he patiently waited for Kyle to unlock his handcuffs, only to sit up with the Aussie in his lap and grab him by the neck as soon as he was free. “Next time you’ll be the one begging for daddy,”

Kyle looked into his eyes for a long time and then, as he slid his arms on Will’s shoulder, they both smiled at each other.

Erika rolled to her side, looking at them with a warm feeling spreading in her belly. She wasn’t only smitten by them. It was stronger than that. She needed to touch them so bad it hurt.

“Just kiss already,” she hinted, stretching in the bedsheets, trying to find some comfort for her tired body. She was exhausted and yet had enough strength left in her to still offer a cheeky smile to the both of them as they looked down at her. “I know you want to,” she purred, looking at Will.

Kyle and Will looked back at each other. The Aussie cupped Will’s face, caressing his cheeks, making him look up at him. “Do you, baby?”

“Call me baby one more time and I’ll lick the floor for you, pretty boy.”

Kyle pressed his smile on Will’s lips. Just like it had been for her, Will took a moment to melt into that new embrace, but when he did, she slid his arms around Kyle, pulling him into a hug. Their kiss was quick to heat up. When she saw their tongues flick as they made out, she was sure she felt it in her lower abdomen. Hearing their breath quicken only made Erika quiver under her own skin. Pure lust flooded through her, lighting her body up once again. 

She pushed herself up and slid close to them, kissing Will on the shoulder and then leaning on Kyle’s. “You’ll drive me insane boys.”

Both Kyle and Will looked back at her, welcoming her in their hug. “Good,” Will kissed her forehead and Kyle her cheek, making her feel their affection.

She felt so grateful and lucky.

“You know what’s the funniest part of this entire thing, mate?” Wondered Kyle, hanging on Will’s shoulders.

“What, bruv?”

“You will have to tell Mark you are fucking his sister.”

“Ah, fuck,” Will let himself fall backwards into the pillows, only pretending defeat, as both Kyle and Erika laughed.

[madamairlock]

@divinemissem13 tagged me in this a bit ago and I am finally here to reply! Thank you for the tag--I'm so excited to answer this! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?: 167!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?: 825,443 😅

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly BSG, Star Trek, and Major Crimes, but I'm diving into House of Usher and had some forays into OFMD, Star Wars, and long ago Harry Potter. We're not gonna talk about Sherlock.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ignoring my Tumblr Drabbles collection, they are:

ABCs of Shandy (291)

Don't Need Wings (227)

Flowers and Dinner (189)

O'Dwyer Dance Co. (186)

An Empty Seat (180)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I didn't used to and I honestly don't know why, but I try to respond to every comment now to at least thank them for commenting and reading!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oooooh. That definitely Hours, when I killed off Sharon...... Is it too late to apologize for this?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think most of mine tend to have happy endings? But I suppose the happiest is Flowers and Dinner or In Among the Weeds. Hopefully Everything Professional, when we get there too.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a few stupid comments over the years, but nothing too extreme. Just disgruntled idiots.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I am a smut queen, thank you, and I'll write almost anything and everything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I'm not the hugest fan of crossovers, but I did an X-Files/Major Crimes one that still intrigues me to this day.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Just recently, actually! Thank you @lalalauraroslin!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Oh gods, just one? Just one ship? Right now, it's gonna be Spaceparents. I wrote too much about them and I'm too deep into two AUs to say anyone else.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I like to think I'll finish all of my WIPs one day, thank you.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm really good at plot and bringing things full circle, but also getting inside the character's heads.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing, proofreading, catching errors. Finishing things.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I think it's a great idea and feel like maybe I've done it, but honestly I'm not sure.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Either Harry Potter or Sherlock.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? I love all of my children equally, excuse you. Either A Sparrow's Warning or Everything Professional.

I tag: @allatariel, @bizships, @holy-ships-x-red-lips, @lalalauraroslin, and @mimine666 :D No pressure, of course.

[spaceorphan18]

fic writer 20 questions - ask game

Thank you @bitbybitwrites for letting me self indulge more.

i still have issues with tagging, but -- @wowbright or @redheadgleek or @coffeegleek wanna try - go for it!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

Right now - 59. But there are some I think I'm going to take down, mostly the MCU related WIPs I started and have no intention of finishing.

2. whats your ao3 word count?

899,883

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Right now - only Glee. But I started with The Office, and have written MCU related things, too.

4. top 5 fics by kudos

1. 99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story 417 2. The Accident 336 3. Chasing Pavements 312 4. Faking It 303 5. How I Met My Soul Mate - A Drunken Kurt Story 275

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do! But I get so behind. I'm finally caught up again, but I'll go months without responding (and I always feel bad). I feel like - if you've taken the time to write, I should take the time and thank you for acknowledging my work.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really have any that have angsty endings - I'm not big on that. I do have bittersweet and sad endings, though -- such as Things We Say in the Shadows, Scenes from December, and The End of the Story

7. whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooh, I don't know - maybe Chasing Pavements?

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I think I had one comment once that said they thought I needed more editing. (which, fair) and one that didn't like how I did vampires in Things We Say in the Shadows -- but since I know nothing about Vampire lore - I wasn't too worried about it.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Clearly, I do. But here's the thing about smut. I feel like - when you start writing, it can be like this scary thing, and then the more you do it, the more almost... routine it starts becoming? It's been an interesting journey...

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one youve ever written?

Not really? Only when it's kind of done in a cracky way. I wrote Scam School as a joke, which is a Glee/MCU crossover. And Blurring Lines is a RPF crack fic about Kurt and Blaine's reaction to Darren and Mia getting engaged.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Please let me know if someone has!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I had someone ask if they could translate my works into German! So they are!

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have! @ckerouac and I wrote a silly MCU fic about fake dating and @darriness and I wrote a cute one-shot together.

14. fave all time ship?

Hmmm, I don't know! I'm still having fun writing Klaine. I will always have a special place in my heart for Jim and Pam - and sometimes think about writing more of them. And there are lots out there that I enjoy - but I wouldn't necessarily write fic about.

15. wip you want to finish but doubt you will?

Idk about doubt completely, but I'd love to finish writing The CrossRhodes Saga -- it's a 40s noir mystery, and it's so fun.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Probably conversation -- also, the ability to weave in canon elements. Plus, I think I'm funny - I don't know if other people think I am though.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Details and descriptions. Also transitions. And probably mechanical things like where to use a comma. Plus, my inability to just proofread and clean it up before posting.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Make sure you know what you're doing? Or have someone proofread it? Idk - I've never done it.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

I mean, if you want to get technical, it'd be The Mighty Ducks when I was ten... but the first thing anyone read was for The Office.

20. fave fic youve written?

It's really a toss up between With Every Broken Bone -- which, was really a fic written for me and how to reconcile between seasons 5 and 6. I still will go back and reread that one. The month of June still manages to be one of my favorite things I've ever written. And 99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story which may have been a long, tedious journey to write, but it ended up being just exactly what I wanted it to be. I also have hopes for my current project: Head Over Feet but we'll have to see how that works out when I finish it.

[thedawningofthehour]

Hi, for someone who its just a beginner in writing fanfic do mind to share your process?

Oh god, I feel really bad when people ask me for advice because half the time shit just pops into my brain I had no input in really cultivating it. So when people ask me how I write dialogue-like, man, I don't know. There's a guy talking and I'm just taking down whatever they say.

Honestly, my biggest piece of advice is just to write a lot, and write whatever. Do you have a cool idea for a oneshot and you're not sure if you can pull it off? Write it anyway. You're thinking of a random scene in the middle of what should be a longer story? Cool. Write that. You think this idea is cringy and you would never want anyone else to see it? Write it and let it sit in your Google Docs. Write stuff and never publish it. Write stuff and drop it when it's no longer fun.

Seriously, I have so many Google Docs that are never seeing the light of day. Stuff that I never bothered to finish. Stuff that wouldn't make sense to anyone outside my brain. Weird horny stuff. Hundreds of hours I spent writing this shit. That wasn't wasted time because-well, for one, I had fun writing it, but I was learning what I liked, what sounded good. And don't worry about never having anything to show for it because you will in the process go "oh man, this shit slaps" with something. I've mentioned before that doth wasn't going to be publish originally. Literally every fanfic I have on AO3 started off as "I'm bored, let's get that idea that I've been thinking about while trying to sleep out of my head." Unlike all the other blurbs I've written, I wanted to return to them, hone them into something better, keep writing more. You can't force passion. It just kind of happens, and sometimes it won't happen. That's okay.

Another thing is: write badly. Seriously, your first draft is just a draft. Unless you're a professional author and it's the night before it goes to print, you can always change it. If you're sitting there thinking 'this is gonna sound so bad'? Write it anyway. Chances are it's not actually that bad. Even if it's not great, you have something to edit-you'll never have anything to make better if you never write it in the first place. And if you do come back to it the next day and realize that it's irredeemably awful-you can just delete it. Rewrite it later if you think of something better. But do not just sit around waiting to spontaneously think of the perfect execution for every scene, because it will never happen and then you'll be left with a blank document.

Oh, something I see a lot of younger, newbie fanfic writers do? Writing and posting the same day. I mean, I do it too sometimes, but generally you don't want to do that, even if you're not in the habit of going through multiple drafts. Your brain does get tired. At the very least do the final read-through on a different day. One of my teachers in high school said it was best to let a piece of writing sit for two days without even looking at it before doing the final proofread, because that's how long it takes for your brain to 'forget' what you wrote. You want to read what's actually on the screen, not what you remember writing. He was right. This is good advice for papers too, for all of you still in school.

Also, if you're planning to write fanfic in English then mad fucking props to you, I have a hard enough time speaking it half the time and it's the only language I speak and I have a fucking degree in it.

Writing is a hard thing to give advice for because everyone, and I mean everyone goes about it differently and wildly different stuff works for them. Some writers can only write first thing in the morning-I'm better at night. Some writers need to have a habit of writing X amount every day, no excuses. I can go between writing nothing and writing 4k words the next day-and those 4k dump days are typically where I do my best work. Nothing fits everyone. It's really a process of fucking around and finding out what fits you best.

Oh, and if you're struggling with anxiety or imposter syndrome? If you're too nervous to start the process, or too nervous to post? One thing that helps me is asking myself, what's the worst possible thing that could happen? Are planes going to fall out of the sky? Are you gonna die? Almost certainly not. What is likely to happen? I go through this pretty much every time I post a chapter. I think, "oh man, they've liked everything so far but this is the chapter where they Find Out and make fun of me." (find out what? I don't fucking know. anxiety isn't logical) I just think about all the other chapters I posted that I thought weren't up to snuff, where I thought people would judge me for it-no, they all liked them anyway. In some cases people even said that it was their new favorite chapter. So seriously, just push yourself over that hurdle. You will be glad you did. The most likely outcome is that some people will enjoy it, and the absolutely worst thing that could happen is that someone is mean to you. And honestly, that says more about them than you.

[homemoviess]

Back from the Grave

Hello! It’s been 90 long neck-breaking years—or just one month, but I’m happy to be done with this round of edits for my novel.

I’m currently in a mood of absolute hatred towards that cursed book, and I just want nothing to do with it, but that could be due to all the dissection and reconstruction I had to suffer through. When I usually write fanfiction, I’ll get the rough draft done, and then do one edit (if I’m feeling pretty spicy I might do two) and then I post and instantly reap the reward of being done with a chapter for good.

With my original novel not only am I going back and do edit after edit, but I need to do it over the span of 300 pages, 70k words, and no long breaks in between. When I say I have never felt so overwhelmed by writing, well, I’ve never felt so overwhelmed by writing. And the editing is not fun on top of that, not at all, and this isn’t even the last round I need to do! And after I finish my part I still need to get a line/copywriter and then the beta readers, and then proofreader…it’s never-ending!

But, when I finally get to the end, there will be no greater feeling. I’ll feel so proud, so accomplished, because I would’ve done it. I would’ve published my own novel, and that alone reminds me that all this torturous work is well worth it.

There will be a new post for Fawn soon. Getting this project done will allow me to let out a major sigh of relief, because damnit, if I could just get a single chapter of a comic done that would be super ultra amazing. Once I finish with chapter 1, I’ve been debating changing course and trying to create a comic rendition of my Sonic fic—but God, if my Sonic Character drawing skills say hell no! Let’s not even…

Oh! And I almost forgot to include a song.

[hareofhrair]

I literally worked as a ghostwriter, writing for these exact kind of content farms, from about 2015 to 2020 when pandemic burnout finally forced me to stop.

I have lost count of how many books I've written. At one point I was writing 6000 words a day, finishing three books for three separate clients concurrently every month.

There's a bookshelf worth of books out there that I wrote that don't have my name on them. I wrote sci fi romance, urban fantasy, paranormal romance, historical, a whole series of romance novels specifically about single mothers falling in love with arab sheiks? You name it I probably wrote it.

And I have to dispute that these books are never quality or well crafted, or that you can tell real self published work from ghostwritten because the former will be more polished than the latter.

First of all because I have seen plenty of genuine, non ghost written self published novels that any ghostwriter I know could write circles around.

And second because I poured my heart and soul into every book I wrote and it fucking killed me.

It was emotionally, physically, and mentally destructive in every way. But I couldn't physically stop myself from caring about the story and trying to do it justice. I'm a writer. I can't not be a writer.

I knew lots of other ghostwriters who were the same as me, writing themselves into an early grave putting everything into books a client would slap on amazon with a stock cover without so much as a second proofreading pass and immediately turn around and demand more.

The people publishing the books are assholes, but the people writing the books are writers, doing their best to make whatever schlock concept the client gives them a compelling read.

And it was always an exploitative racket. Starting pay was one cent a word, which meant a 50k novel (the most frequently asked for length) earned you $500 flat, usually paid in installments with every 10k words you turned in. $500 for a solid month of work. When I was killing myself doing this full time, writing three novels at a time, I was bringing home a whopping $1500 a month.

I did this work because as a disabled person I couldn't do anything else, and I wanted to write. But I'd come to accept I was never going to get published, because I can't network and I can't market myself. I just don't have the social skills. Self publishing was a dead end for the same reason.

But I felt like as long as I could be writing something, that was enough. And god knows I needed the money. And the one big upside this had compared to trying to get published was a relatively steady income. The client always wanted more as fast as you could crank it out, and you got a flat, reliable payment instead of the insecurity of royalties or advances.

It was as close as I could get to my dream job, which is that scene from the Star Trek DS9 episode where Sisko dreams about being a 20th century writer, working at a sci fi magazine with a bunch of other writers, and the editor just assigns the writers prompts and then edits and publishes whatever they hand in.

However, as much of a racket as it was, it's become worse since the pandemic and the emergence of chatGPT.

As much as I and the other ghostwriters cared about quality, the clients don't give a shit. Once they realized they could just have chatgpt write the book for free and then pay someone even less than they were paying us to edit it just enough to be coherent, most of the jobs vanished overnight.

The few that were left were paying, at best, half a cent per word, and they wanted you to come up with your own concepts and outlines for free on top of it.

Upwork, the best place to find these jobs, also decided to slam their dick in the car door by making it a fucking microtransaction to apply to jobs. You literally have to buy "tokens" from them to spend on just sending in an application, no guarantee the client will even look at it. The amount you have to pay to apply is also variable, and you can pay more to bump your application to the top of the pile so the client will read it before other people's, supposedly. And if that sounds like a winning business model to you, I've got a bridge to sell you.

There are maybe two creative ghost writing jobs of this kind up on Upwork now, and they're god awful. Maybe they've moved somewhere else, but I can't find them, and I don't really want to. Writing that way killed my passion for writing for a long time. It took me years to recover and be able to write reliably again.

I've gone off track, but I guess my point is this.

Don't assume something isn't ghostwritten just because it's good.

And at this point, you have a lot more to worry about from AI spam than ghost writers anyway.

And also op is right, anyone publishing more than a book a year is probably exploiting a team of criminally underpaid ghostwriters. Don't push yourself to try and meet that kind of impossible standard. It will kill your desire to write, destroy you physically, and it will never pay what its worth.

So, there's a dirty little secret in indie publishing a lot of people won't tell you, and if you aren't aware of it, self-publishing feels even scarier than it actually is.

There's a subset of self-published indie authors who write a ludicrous number of books a year, we're talking double digit releases of full novels, and these folks make a lot of money telling you how you can do the same thing. A lot of them feature in breathless puff pieces about how "competitive" self-publishing is as an industry now.

A lot of these authors aren't being completely honest with you, though. They'll give you secrets for time management and plotting and outlining and marketing and what have you. But the way they're able to write, edit, and publish 10+ books a year, by and large, is that they're hiring ghostwriters.

They're using upwork or fiverr to find people to outline, draft, edit, and market their books. Most of them, presumably, do write some of their own stuff! But many "prolific" indie writers are absolutely using ghostwriters to speed up their process, get higher Amazon best-seller ratings, and, bluntly, make more money faster.

When you see some godawful puff piece floating around about how some indie writer is thinking about having to start using AI to "stay competitive in self-publishing", the part the journalist isn't telling you is that the 'indie writer' in question is planning to use AI instead of paying some guy on Upwork to do the drafting.

If you are writing your books the old fashioned way and are trying to build a readerbase who cares about your work, you don't need to use AI to 'stay competitive', because you're not competing with these people. You're playing an entirely different game.

[chippedaxe]

yessss for karl?! omg yess please pleas please can you write a dom step sis! reader ruining innocent stepbro! karl!!

like she teases him and he just isn’t experienced at all and she just fucking destroys him, wanking him until the sensitive little bunny is crying and begging to stop from overstimulation

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Title: Silly Boy

Warnings: !TW: STEPCEST!, NSFW (Minors DNI), cursing, corruption ig, blackmail, degrading, teasing, humiliation, penis degrading, small penis, overstimulation

Pronouns: She/her Afab

Synopsis: The reader dominates Karl and knocks him down a peg.

Word count: 2k

Note: If this type of content offends you in any way then please just ignore it, I have tons of other content on my page that isn't stepcest content and you're able to blockout any stepcest content by blocking the 'tw sepcest' or 'stepcest cw' tag <3

- This prolly isn't what u wanted but I thought of this and wanted to write it! also this hasn't been proofread and it hasn't been edited at all!

*Btw Veruca Salt is a spoiled kid that gets everything she wants, from Charlie and the chocolate factory.

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Your eyes glared down at the younger boy, towering over him to show dominance "S-sis, what're you doing?" Karl asked "Trying to scare you, is it working?" you leaned down and kept eye contact with the stammering boy "u-um not really.." he stuttered out "then why're you stuttering over your words? You're obviously intimidated." you placed your hands on your hips.

"Well why're you trying to intimidate me? I'm just trying to read this book!" he groaned "Because someone has to knock you down a peg, you think just because you're younger that you can get everything you want? Well not if I can help it!" you were furious by the boy.

"What're you on about? What've I done to you?" Karl asked worriedly "You've been asking for a whole lot this week, veruca salt!" you threw your arms in the air and started pacing around him and his chair "What? Like what?" Karl was utterly confused "You've been asking for non-stop rides to your friends houses, and you've been leaving your laundry around for mother to do!" you cross your arms.

"You're overreacting!" Karl complained "Oh I'm not done! You've also been taking money from mom's purse!" you called him out "What- how did you know about that??" Karl immediately became tense "Oh you look so stressed dear brother, just relax- don't worry... I'm not gonna tell her-" Karl sighed in relief "Oh thank god" and got cut off by you finishing your sentence "-If you promise to be a good brother and listen to what your stepsister says!" you finished.

"WHAT? No way! I'm telling mom and dad!" He began to stand up but you pushed him back down "Oh no no no, you're gonna tell them what? That you stole the $200 that mom presumed was stolen by a thief? You gonna explain that to her after she already called authorities and had someone sent to jail?" you spat venom at him.

"You're evil!" Karl shouted "Me? Evil? I'm not the thief here" you grinned mischievously "Although I could be- if you don't wanna have to do everything I say then just give me something precious you own" you held your hand out expectantly "What am I supposed to give you? My soul?" Karl questioned "If you can bare to part with it then yes" you gave a mean smile in response to his sarcasm.

"I have literally nothing!" Karl exclaimed "You have your phone" you suggested "Dad would kill me if he found out I'd given it away!" He shouted "he'd kill you if he found out about that money too" you reminded him "I- I could give you... I'll let you date one of my friends!" Karl smiled nervously as he hoped you'd agree "What friends? You're a nerd, no one would want to be friends with you" snickered.

"S-Sapnap! He's strong, he loves animals, he has big muscles!" Karl said "The brute with dark hair? He's cute but not my type" you yawned "U-m.. Quackity?" a bead of sweat dropped down his face "He's super cool, really funny!" Karl was starting to worry as he was already running out of friends to pair you with "No.. My type is nerdy boys that I can dominate, ones that get nervous a lot and stutter over their sentences" you hinted.

"Oh- like Wilbur? I'm not really his friend but I can try something!!" Karl wasn't getting the hint "No, I was thinking more specifically towards someone like you." you finally told him "M-me? But I'm your brother!" Karl was in disbelief "Step-brother. And I don't really like you, I just think that you're pitiful and if you're gonna be selling someone's body to me in exchange to keep your secrets safe than it may as well be yours." you explained.

"But- Well- I've never done that before!" he put his hands up defensively "Well obviously, who would want to touch a greasy nerd like you?" you sighed. "Well- No, that's wrong!" he shook his head "Well I'm not gonna make you, just give me something else then and I'll be on my way" you told him. Karl looked down at his feet for a moment as he mulled over what was happening and what decision he was gonna make.

Karl lifted his head and made eye contact with you "Okay." he replied "Okay what? Okay you're gonna give me something?" you asked "No- I mean- okay I'm gonna give you my body" he mumbled quietly "Gonna need to speak up, can't hear you over the sound of our parents crying over having such a disappointing child" you ridiculed him.

"I'll give you my body, damnit!" he yelled "hey- quiet down, our parents are only just down stairs!" you made him shut up. "Whatever" he leaned back in his chair and slumped down "Karl. You need to give me your full consent, you can't just go 'yea whatever' and expect me to be fine with that!" you furrowed your eyebrows "Why?? What- do you need me to beg you for it?!" he was getting aggravated.

"Actually yes, I do" you decided to torment him a little bit "Big sis, please please please fuck this desperate loser" he put his hands together to make a praying gesture as he mocked you "That's more like it, runt." you grabbed his chin and forced him to face you "We can stop at any time, if you choose not to speak up then that'll be your fault" you made sure he was fully aware that he had a say even though he wasn't in control.

"Thanks. Now- how do we?" Karl was now confused on what you were gonna do, and he was having some type of delusion that he was gonna be the one in charge dominating you. "I think I'm just gonna have some fun by jerking you off, is that okay bunny?" you teased "W-what do you mean you're gonna jerk me off?" Karl asked nervously "I'm gonna stroke your dick, never done that before?" you bullied him.

"N-no, never even thought about it.." his face became red and flushed, you slowly slid onto his lap and straddled his leg "No? You haven't? Are you lying to your big sister? That's not very nice you know, Mom always told me that you shouldn't lie (Unless it's to your dad) " Karl glanced away from you and tried to hide his face "Aw you can tell me the truth, I'm a good listener after all!" you encouraged him "I haven't.." he persisted.

"Well then let me introduce you to the pleasure that is being jerked off, slide your pants down" you instructed "What? Do I have to.." he was clearly embarrassed "No. I guess I could just palm you through your pants" you shrugged. Karl sighed in relief and let out a small breath, tilting his head back in the chair and waiting for you to do what you wanted.

Your hand dipped between his legs, your palm rubbing his growing bulge "H-Hey that feels weird" he told you "So what? You want me to stop?" he shut his mouth, encouraging you to keep palming him. "This would feel a lot better if you let your cock free, instead your trapping it in your tight pants and strangling it.." you frowned "F-fine.." Karl blushed as he slowly pulled his pants down.

You watched in delight as he released his penis "Oh is this what you were worried about?" you stared down at it "O-Oh god-" Karl felt humiliated and went to put it away but you stopped him "It's cute.. I wouldn't expect a nerd's penis to be big anyways" you told him. Karl's little cock twitched at your words, moving slightly on its own "oh. my. god. You LIKE when I'm mean to you! That's why you never argue back! It all makes sense now.." Karl looked down to avert eye contact.

"That's perfect Karl, you love when I'm mean to you- and I love to make fun of you! Win Win!" you felt a small rush of excitement. Your hand wrapped around his cock which forced a choked out moan from him, his hands moving to cover his face "you're acting quite rude Karl. Look at your big sister when she's talking to you!" you ordered.

Karl slowly revealed his face, revealing how much pleasure he was having. "F-Feel's weird, let go!" he ushered you to let go of his penis, even though his body disagreed; his hips bucking up into your hand to help finish him off "Trust your big sister." you said as you continued to pump your hand around his cock. "Fuck! Fuck you!" Karl's whole body shuddered as he was having an orgasm, his penis twitching in your hand.

"Wow Karl, that was rude." you huffed and narrowed your eyes, your hand still lingering on his crotch "A-are you done now?" Karl panted as he was trying to catch his breath "Done? I've barely even started!" you laughed maniacally as you began to slowly stroke him again "Ah- no no no, that's too much!" Karl whined. "You want me to stop?" you asked him "Yes!" he exclaimed so you let go and pulled away "What?" Karl was confused and a bit upset "Hm? What is it?" you asked "You're just.. done?" he looked saddened.

"You told me to stop!" you explained "yeah but.. I didn't really mean it.." Karl's cheeks were dusted red "Well come back here then" you grabbed his hips and forced him back down onto his chair. Karl was already eager and bucking his hips up against you, your hand grabbed him again and started to jerk him off "Ah!- Ah-" Karl tried to keep quiet but couldn't help the escaped noises that came out.

You placed your free hand over his mouth to try and muffle his moans, his voice vibrating against your hand "You can never be quiet! Always have something to say, don't you?" you rolled your eyes at him. Karl clenched his eyes shut and tapped the chair repeatedly with his hand to let you know he was ready to cum again, you let him release his load yet again but you didn't remove your hand.

"A-Again?? I can only take so much.." Karl whimpered and whined "You're feeling this way already? But I've only just started!" You frowned "Well I guess I can give you a break now but there won't be any breaks later on when our parents go out to dinner." you stood up and got off him. "T-Thanks.." Karl huffed "For what?" you asked "Thanks for um- pleasuring me?" you scoffed and walked back to your room, ready to return at night time when you had Karl all to yourself.

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*guys lemme know if u want a part 2 bc I could certainly make one of the reader x karl at night time after their parents have left.

[cacalowee]

𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 || 𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆 || 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓

azriel x rhysand’s sister [ y/n ]

synopsis : at their mating ceremony, y/n reminisces about their time together so far [ bonus ;; az's pov ]

warnings : fluff, mentions of trauma, cursing, alcohol

word count : 2,783

notes : this is meant to be a sweet, fluffy chapter of just pure love memories <33 but I don't know how mating ceremonies are like in prythian, so I'll just try to make it as whimsical as possible lmao [ also ignore the weird title, I'm feeling very disney ] also I'm so sorry I didn't exactly like writing the nervous 'bride' trope but I literally had no idea what I was doing and made it up as I typed

this is me finally finished with writing and I think I managed to write and share a theme that I really needed before [ at the end ] i hope this story reaches you well and I hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you <33

[ also im lazy so this isn't proofread or edited. i may go back in to change a few things but I'm so so sorry if there are any grammatical or spelling mistakes ]

cal xx

"Oh my fucking gods, I'm actually doing this," you breathed, already out of breath. You wiped your sweaty palms on the skirts of your flowy dress and tried to shake out the nerves.

Feyre offered you a warm smile, "You look so beautiful." Your eyes flickered to the mirror propped up against your bedroom wall and scanned yourself up and down. Your black satin dress had a slightly modest neckline and long, mesh sleeves draping off your arms. Your dress came down past your ankles where the tips of your silver heels peeked through the fabric. Silver glitter had been dusted on the hem of your skirt and sleeves, giving off an ethereal feeling to your mating dress. Your hair had been pulled half-up, your thick strands of hair forming a crown around your head.

"Do I?" you asked nervously, terrified that you looked different in the eyes of others.

Mor nodded in agreement as she dusted sparkles over your cheekbones and gave you a dazzling smile. "You look amazing. Now, stop moving around so much, I still have to fix your hair." You quickly switched your energy to bouncing your leg up and down, ignoring Mor's huff of amusement.

"Don't be nervous, y/n," Feyre said, placing a crown of burnt flowers in your hair, the dark shade of them matching the ebony dress.

"I'm not nervous, exactly. More like absolutely petrified because I'm sure I'll piss myself and then die," you answered, muttering the last bit.

Feyre gave you a pointed look, "You won't piss yourself or die. You'll walk down that aisle, and offer Az your best fucking meal in the history of food."

You stayed quiet for a few seconds, adding quietly, "I can't cook shit."

"I warmed up soup for Rhys, you're fine," Feyre said, a slight smirk gracing her features.

"OhmygodsnowIsoundneedyIneedtoshutup," you muttered, letting your thoughts swirl around your head instead. Azriel hadn't dared propose the idea of officiating our mating bond. Only a few weeks ago, you had planted the idea while extremely drunk at Rita's. Azriel had been hovering over you, being overprotective as usual and making sure you didn't drink too much. It was endearing, truly, but at some point, you were sure you had just snapped and slurred, "We're not mated yet, stop being a busybody." After that, he had fallen silent and you had asked the question. Want to mate me?

And here you were, trying to convince yourself that you hadn't imagined that entire conversation in your wine-addled head and were now dressing up for nothing.

Because that would be a shame. Especially after sitting in this damn chair for over two hours.

You subconsciously rubbed at your arms, feeling the silky mesh material glide across your skin. You started playing with the sleeve and as you twisted your arm around, you could faintly make out the white outlines of a large scar you had earned by being dumb.

You turned your arm back over and stared directly in front of you. You focused your gaze and could've sworn you saw the air particles moving around in the space in front of you.

You let your eyes unfocus and small stars appeared in your vision. There were streaks of white across the walls that reminded you of the night when the mating bond snapped into place. Azriel had been dumbfounded at first, freezing on the spot and staring at you with wide eyes. The bond had shone brightly, illuminating your mind with its light. Neither of them dared to breathe the words aloud. We're mates.

You had stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. When Azriel's eyes had filled with tears and he collapsed against you, you held him as he held you, both of you understanding and yet not saying a single word.

A few weeks later, both of you laying next to each other on the roof, watching the stars twinkle against the dark sky, you had shared a special thing.

After hours of talking about everything that was important to you and him, your gazes interlocked and he looked so beautiful at that moment. His eyes were glowing and a smile twisted his lips upward, warming his features. He stared at you with love shining in his eyes and you felt your lips curve up into a smile to match his own. His breath hitched and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Your smile had faltered slightly, the words coming out of a different mouth for a moment before you were back in the present. "You're absolutely breathtaking," you responded.

His gaze was so understanding and empathetic, that you had no other choice but to move closer so that your bodies were only an inch apart. You didn't remember who moved first, but you both angled your faces toward each other and brushed your lips together. The soft touch made your heart clench at the gentleness he was offering and you leaned in further to press your lips firmly against his own.

He draped an arm over your waist and pulled you in closer, sharing a beautiful moment for all of a few seconds before it was over and you were both smiling stupidly at each other.

"y/n?" Mor asked and your head snapped up. "Stand up for me real quick, I need to adjust the hem."

You tilted your head and did as she said. "You don't have to help me, y'know. I don't want this to be a big thing."

She smirked at you and shook her head, "Small thing or not, you're going to look fucking gorgeous out there. I don't care if you fight me every step of the way, I am going to fuss over you. I didn't get to do this for Feyre, and Nesta had her sisters." You couldn't deny her when she made it about herself.

After a few more minutes of absolute torture, you were ready for the ceremony at dusk. You hadn't wanted a normal ceremony, you wanted to break out of the box and be unique, all for the fact of not being confined to society's rules.

You had worn all black instead of white, your silver shoes being the sole exception, and held a bouquet of dead roses. It had taken a lot of convincing to make this all happen. Convincing yourself and others. You didn't say anything, but you wanted this ceremony to double as a funeral for the person you once were. It was stupid, honestly, so you kept quiet.

You stood in front of the double doors to the roof, mentally preparing yourself for the embarrassment you would feel when you tripped and fell flat on your ass in front of everyone.

You took a deep breath and opened the door slightly, knowing the Inner Circle sat on the other side.

You tentatively took a step down the aisle created by the parting of chairs and heard Cassian whoop enthusiastically. You grinned at that, feeling the fear leaving your body. Only slightly. You continued down the walkway, avoiding any and all eye contact, though furiously scanning the perimeter of the roof for anything amiss.

When you reached the altar and the priestess was waiting there for you, you nodded at her and offered a small smile of thanks. Your gaze swept out over the blurred crowd and you swallowed, feeling the fear rear up again. You clenched the bouquet of flowers closer to you, knowing for a fact that no matter how hard you squeezed, you wouldn't damage the roses.

Movement from your peripheral vision caught your eye and you automatically zoned onto the double doors where wisps of shadows were seeping through the cracks and joining you on the altar. They curled over your wrists and the cooling brush of the tendrils helped calm your heart rate.

The doors opened and Azriel stepped out dressed in all black, as per usual, but instead of leathers, he had donned a silk tunic and trousers that perfectly fitted his figure. His wings were flared out behind him and your gaze drifted to his face. You found his eyes already on yours and you felt your heart stutter. His eyes softened, just for you to see, and the tips of his lips tilted up in a reassuring smile.

For him. For Azriel.

You took a deep breath and watched as he made his way toward you. When he turned to face you on the altar, the priestess took that as her cue to start the usual bonding words. You zoned out slightly, your mind running over all the different scenarios that could occur where you would screw this entire thing up.

A calming shadow curled around your ear and you heard a faint song with lyrics you couldn't interpret. When the priestess took a step back, you reached your arms forward for Azriel's and as you clasped hands, shadows slithered down your arms, meeting where your hands were joined. You held Azriel's gaze and felt a slight tug on the bond. A surge of happiness and love followed and you were almost felled by the potency of the emotions.

In return, you quieted your thoughts and pushed the words, I love you, through the bond, hoping he could hear the message through the pounding of your heart.

"Do you accept Azriel as your mate for the rest of eternity?" the priestess asked, interrupting your silent conversation with Azriel.

You smiled, letting your happiness show on your face.

"I do."

azriel's pov

His breath caught, the impossible words filling his head as you smiled up at him with all the love in the world. You were beautiful. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. He couldn't believe he was standing in front of you, with his ruined hands entwined with the most unbelievable female he'd ever met.

"And do you, Azriel, accept y/n as your mate for the rest of eternity?" the priestess repeated. Your gaze swiveled to meet his eyes and he couldn't help the pang of anger when he saw that hint of doubt in your eyes. Anger at everything in the world that had taught you the curse of doubt.

He made sure you were looking at him, letting all his walls down and letting you see all the emotions crossing his face.

"I do."

Your face betrayed no negative emotion, but he felt a slight stirring of relief through the bond. He gave another reassuring tug and clasped your hands tighter.

"Then, y/n, you may present the food," the priestess said, breaking and adding to the moment all at once. You let go first, the shadows twining around your arms breaking as well.

Your face was flushed as you turned and offered him a plate of homemade brownies. "You said you like chocolate, and I don't know . . . "

Azriel stretched out his hand to take a brownie and took a large bite, not hesitating for a second. A dazzling smile graced your features and he would've fallen onto his knees at the sight of it were it not for the events that would come after. The sweetness of the chocolate erupted in his mouth, and it was the absolute best brownie he had ever had.

"I now pronounce you officially mated," the priestess said, a small smile spreading across her face at the pure joy hanging around in the air. And Azriel felt that joy, felt everything. He felt undiluted happiness as he stood in front of his mate, her face glowing and full of love. He had never thought he would've experienced this day in his entire 500 years of living, but all that pain was worth it to be here. With you.

y/n's pov

Azriel turned to face you completely, his eyes softening with love and gratitude, something only meant for your eyes and you smiled at him, trying to convey what words couldn't: how much you loved him.

The shadows swarming around both of you erupted as Azriel stepped closer and cupped your cheek, bringing his head toward yours. He gently pressed his lips against yours, his other hand going around you to hold your waist. You arched into the kiss, your hands reaching for his hair. You smiled against him and you felt his lips tilt as well, both of you eventually dissolving into snorts and chuckles.

When you pulled away, you grinned at him and held him tight.

When the priestess moved to step off the slightly raised podium she had been standing on, Rhysand and the others stood up immediately to rush at you both.

"y/n, my precious little, baby sister," your brother greeted as he wrapped his arms around you, giving Azriel a pat on the back. The two males grinned at each other, Azriel more carefree than you had ever seen him.

Cassian swung an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug. Feyre offered you a warm smile and you reached for her hand, clasping it gently. Cassian whooped with joy for you and his brother. Even Amren gave you both a smile, the expression on her face showing more emotion than normal.

"Alright, let's all get stupid drunk and then pass out!" Cassian hollered, heading straight for the drinks set out on a table near the edge of the roof.

In small groups, the Inner Circle broke away to lounge on the chairs set around the roof as they all celebrated Azriel's and your mating ceremony.

You turned toward the rising moon and found Azriel standing by your side like he always would from this point forward.

You reached for his hand, holding it tightly. When he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, you pulled his hand up and pressed a kiss to his scars.

"I love you so much," he whispered, his fingers moving to twine with yours.

"I love you more," you returned, wrapping your arms around his waist, hands still linked together.

"I'll be with you forever. From here on out until the Mother claims us. Beyond that even," he promised, leaning down to kiss your hair. You tilted your head to lean on his chest, squeezing tightly.

"And I'll always treasure you, my precious, sweet, chicken leg," you muttered against his black tunic.

Azriel pulled away slightly to look you in the eyes. "Chicken leg?" He asked with a deep laugh.

"I don't handle on-the-spot decisions well. How about you try thinking of something, right here, right now," you retorted.

"Easy, starlight," he said, his voice soft.

You released a huff, "You got a few seconds to think."

"Yes, that's why," he returned, voice dripping with sarcasm. He wrapped his arms tighter around you held you even closer than before if that was possible.

"I'm glad I'm back. I'm glad that I managed to find you even when I was trying to kill Rhysie," you admitted, glancing at the stars that twinkled in the night sky like small bursts of reassurance.

"I'm glad you're back too. Even though the circumstances which we met through were questionable," Azriel replied. You hummed in agreement, averting your gaze from the stars to his eyes. They were liquid honey, absolutely beautiful, and truly Azriel.

"My beautiful, handsome, absolutely perfect mate," you breathed, staring deep into his soul. You saw everything and held no fear. Azriel was by no means perfect, but he was perfect for you, scars and all. The blood on his hands was there from protecting his High Lord and Court. And you couldn't fault him for that. Hell, you've tortured and killed before. You've tried to kill your brother. Both of you had endured so much as well. Under the hands of his brother, Azriel had suffered, but he was alive. He was alive and living. He didn't let what happened to him affect him. He was as strong as an army of thousands.

And despite everything that had happened to you, from your mother's death to the torture of the King, you lived as well. And when two halves of a whole, both merely surviving met each other, you learned to thrive together. Because that was what you were doing. Both of you had learned to thrive and found love where you thought had been impossible.

The Mother has some strange plans, you thought. But truly wonderful plans.

Incredible plans, actually, because throughout the course of her plan, you had met your mate and you were currently being held by him on the roof overlooking the night sky, surrounded by your family and friends.

Life sucks for sure, but in the end, there is always a turn of destiny and something truly wonderful awaits you.

→ violet dreams masterlist || complete masterlist

taglist : @sassybluebird ,, @starrstrucked ,, @hideing ,, @moonslattess ,, @goldentournesol ,, @eat-cake ,, @owllover123 ,, @imnotsiriusyouare ,, @winnie-the-shoe ,, @xxgenderenvyxx [ striked-out names couldn’t be tagged unfortunately ]

[silkiemae]

The Book of Azrael by Amber Nicole

The Book of Azrael by Amber Nicole My rating: 1 of 5 stars I've done it. I finally finished this book. It only took me like a month and a half but I finally battled my way through and boy do I have a lot to say. Strap in folks. This review will be filled with spoilers. Well, we start strong with the name of one of Amber’s islands being misspelt in the book blurb. It’s Erioa, but in the book, it’s Eoria. So that right there should tell you all you need to know about the overall quality of this book. The editing is like that through all 841 pages. It took me, so long to finish this tome of a novel. I stopped it several times but my compulsion to finish things kept gripping me by the back of the neck and forcing me back. I am always wary when debut authors release an 800-page tome for their first novel. I know this book was traditionally published by Rose and Star but it reads like a first draft. It’s very watt-pad tier writing. It’s marketed like a self-published novel and reads like someone who couldn’t be bothered to take the time to edit or proofread. The first 50% of this book could have been removed, and you probably would not have missed a thing. Every flashback could have been scrapped. The first 15 chapters could’ve been condensed and combined. The whole sleepover saga with Gabby could’ve been cut. Nobody cares about the weird face masks they’re wearing or the sappy romance movies they’re watching. No one CARES. I understand she’s trying to build a relationship with the sister to show us how much she means to Dianna, but she tells us about 85 times in the span of three chapters that she never gets to see Gabby, and this is such a rare occurrence. Like, okay, I GET IT. THANK YOU. Shut up about it, for the love of god. There’s a scene where they go to a nightclub to meet up with Gabby’s current fling, and this is after Dianna has been going on and on about how she never gets to see her sister and she’s so glad to see her and blah blah blah. Some guy comes up to hit on her, and she says, and I quote, “But I was here with Gabby, the sister I rarely got to see.” I swear to god, if you tell me one more time, I’m going to lose it. So she rejects the guy because she never gets to see her sister….and then immediately leaves the bar without her sister?????? WHAT? Honestly, a majority of the book felt like filler material. Nothing actually happened that was important. Dianna and Liam banter a lot, but none of it is relevant. Most of the things we learn are in flashbacks or weird robotic conversations. I didn’t buy their relationship. Everything about it felt juvenile as well as the majority of this book. There is so much telling in this story, and I’m so tired. The writing itself is C-Grade mediocre, but I see the potential. I won’t shit on Amber entirely and say that she can’t write at all because there are some good lines, but unfortunately, all the bad ones overshadow it. Not to mention the editing issues. Some paragraphs repeat within pages of each other, word for word like she just copied and pasted them. An editor is credited, but uh…what work did they even do? Because I can’t find it. All the world-building reads like info dumpage. A review says here that all the world-building is given with ‘no info dumping at all!’ And I’m here to tell you that that’s a lie. Every bit of narration has the POV ranting and raving about their feelings, but they repeat it over and over again to the point where I could not care less. Whenever I think something is well done, it gets overdone. An editor could’ve helped with that if an editor had actually gone over this book. It reads like she was trying to fill space, but you didn’t need to write an 800-page book, Amber. You could’ve told the same story and probably a better story in 400 pages. Let’s talk about the dialogue. Everyone speaks the same, like a robot. Every conversation reads like Siri responding to you. The contractions are super awkwardly placed and never at the right moment. It would make sense for Liam to talk stiffly and for the language to be strange since he’s been living away from humanity for however long and had to learn English when he returned. But literally, EVERYONE talks like this. Here, enjoy these treats I’ve gathered. * - with obvious male interest * - his ablaze blade ( it sounds so stupid, I can’t breathe) * The hair on my legs and vagina had gotten a little out of control. — This should have been 10000% scrapped. What the hell was she thinking? * - satisfaction and male hunger flaring in his eyes * - as the aggressive male power in the room increased * I glanced at him and nearly stumbled, the male beauty of him taking my breath away. * In the logical thinking part of my consciousness, I knew it came from a place of caring, but there was so much he did not know. (AMBER JUST SAY LOGICALLY, WTF??) Amber created her own pantheon and her own world, I guess. I’m not sure what she based her pantheon on, but I can say that Unir is basically Odin. With his prophetic visions and golden spear, aka Gungnir. The whole ending part of the book reminded me of the first Thor movie where Thor goes off and kills off a bunch of frost giants, and his dad and all the gods are furious with him. Well, Liam does the same thing with the Ig’Morutthens, thinking he’s fixing a problem and doing what a king would do, but everyone is mad at him. We’re told they speak these weird old languages, but Liam randomly calls his mother ‘madre’? Ma’am, that is Spanish…you had me believing they were saying these unheard-of languages, but no…it’s Spanish. Most of the gods’ and island names read like keyboard smash to me. Ig’Morruthen, are you joking? What is that? We’re constantly told that the fall of the celestials(or gods, can’t remember for sure) destroyed the fabric of the mortal’s world, right…but we are never actually shown how it was changed. We’re never shown any dystopian world where people live in rags because the celestials destroyed everything. No, we see people going to carnivals and The Modern Grill, watching TV, talking on cellphones, and going to the International Airport. So basically, it’s our world? Nothing is different about it save for the inclusion of these creatures. That’s it. Like a plague happened but we don’t get to see any of those results aside from Dianna and Gabby being monsters or whatever now. So Dianna and her sister died or were dying in a desert at some point, and Kaden showed up to save the day. In return for saving Dianna's sister, he turned her into an Ig'Morruthen; now, she's immortal and a super-powered badass. She can wield fireballs, lick people's blood and see into their memories, change her form into whatever she wants, and have super strength! It seems like Dianna was given all her power but never earned any of it. And by that, I mean her rank at Kaden's side. Sure, he sends her to complete all these tasks for him, which she does marvelously, but as the reader knows, she was automatically given the second rank right after she was made. As a human, did Dianna ever do anything notable to prove she deserved such a position? Also, we’re told that Dianna (assumes she) cannot die unless her heart is removed and destroyed, and Amber starts the book out, trying to make her seem invulnerable. But there are several instances when she is poisoned and is supposedly close to death, so Liam has to feed her his blood?? She can eat human food to sustain herself but has to eat humans to maintain her powers? How often does she have to eat humans? Will she die if she doesn’t eat humans? Or will she just be powerless? Could she revert to a human without eating people? Why doesn’t she just….stop eating people? So if she stops eating people, she stops regenerating or something? But also, like she rips her own heart out, Liam just…puts it back in her chest. Lmfao. So Dianna just can’t die. I appreciate the apparent inner conflict regarding Dianna and Kaden's relationship. Like clearly, it's very toxic. Kaden made Dianna into an Iggy monster(I cannot be bothered to spell that out anymore, sorry) to save her sister’s life, and now she has to, like…bone him or something. I’m not sure if that was part of their deal or if that was like a thing that naturally occurred and was somehow mutual(but it would still be coerced if Dianna felt she needed to do it to keep her sister alive) or if Kaden raped Dianna. It just became a regular thing, or what? But it’s still clear that she has conflicting emotions for him. They’re decently explained so you can empathize with why she continues to humor and sleep with him, etc. But then it gets to a point where it’s overkill (sensing a theme here). It’s unnecessary to tell us what Dianna thinks and feels about every little thing. The creatures of the Otherworld are, for the most part, well done. The dream eaters sound scary as fuck. But please, for the love of god, explain to me how they can speak. Samkiel/Liam’s PTSD is well done, but it becomes overkill. Like I’ve said about a dozen times, this book is too long. We’re told information repeatedly in the same chapter; things are over-explained to the point where it becomes redundant, and it’s all for what? Filler space? You could have created a much better novel if this was 400 pages. Honestly, with the number of things that don’t happen, it would’ve been better as a 300-page book. This book was advertised as two villains who fall in love or something like that; I can't remember exactly, but I know Dianna was announced as a villain, but she's not. She's not a villain. She's doing 'evil' things as a means to an end, and that means is to protect her sister. That doesn't make her a villain. Drake and Ethan even say that she’s not evil. Amber tricks us into thinking that Dianna stooped to killing one of her only friends on Kaden’s orders; the guy even turns to ash, and Kaden catches it all on camera, yet SOMEHOW this guy didn’t die. It was all a ruse. In some convenient ass magical loophole, Dianna only killed the ‘image’ of Drake. So right there, she just erased the only ‘evil’ thing Dianna has done in this book. Threatening people without meaning the threat isn’t evil either. The romance is so poorly done. The first 400 pages involve Liam and Dianna glaring at each other every single paragraph(literally, the word glare/glared/glaring are mentioned like 72 times.) while talking like robots and Dianna making a joke that’s not funny at all and giggling. It’s so juvenile, especially for these people who are supposed to be hundreds of years old. Then one night, Liam has a nightmare, and Dianna decides to talk to him about it and comfort him, and things flip around immediately after. Suddenly, they’re flirty and have all these intense longings toward one another. And then Drake and Ethan make a gross comment about Liam sleeping with Dianna, and it just goes right back to being awkward and uncomfy. I felt like I was just reading awkward conversations between these two the whole book while having info dumps on every aspect of this world thrown at me. Also, the minute Liam insinuated Dianna was dressed like a slut and magically changed her dress for her made me mad as hell. I HATE when men won’t ‘let’ their girlfriend wear something because he deems it too revealing. First of all, Liam isn’t even her boyfriend. Second, IT’S HER BODY. Third, instead of getting mad that Liam essentially called her a slut, Dianna starts swooning over the special dress he made just for her. Kill me. I’m sick of reading about their annoying af miscommunication bullshit. Dianna is all butthurt because Liam stopped sleeping in her bed. After all, Drake and Ethan( you have no idea how hard it is not to write Drake and Josh) made a lewd joke insinuating they’re boning. Liam apologized a bunch, but Dianna continued to choose to be mad. He explained to her over and over again that she does not repulse him, and he’s mentioned he finds her attractive, yet she keeps whining about how repulsive he finds her. Like, shut up, Dianna. You are so pathetic at this point. This book was advertised as spicy, right? Like, I’m positive it was advertised as spicy and yet I am nearly 600 pages into this book and Liam and Dianna still haven’t boned. All the sex scenes have been in dreams and have been vaguely worded with gross phrases like ‘my cock was buried deep inside her’ because that’s like….the only thing these ‘spicy’ authors can think to say. Liam’s jealousy over Drake is so juvenile, as is Dianna’s jealousy over Camilla. Why shouldn’t she realize Camilla is hitting on Liam to get back at Dianna? The thing that had me ripping my hair out in frustration was that this book is about finding the Book of Azrael(aka, the cat from the Smurfs), right? Nine hundred pages of filler space, all to find a book that Liam continues to insist does not exist. Well, this witch Dianna used to bone claims to have the book; all she wants in exchange is a kiss. This is the laziest way to create tension between Dianna and Liam I have ever read in my life. First, Dianna immediately assumes Camilla meant she wanted Dianna to kiss Liam, which is the most self-centered thing ever. Like why would you just assume that? Nowhere did she say I want you, Dianna, to kiss Liam. It was obvious as hell that the kiss would have to be between Camilla and Liam since it was THEIR DEAL. And then Dianna is all possessive suddenly and like NO, YOU CANNOT KISS HIM. Like…you’ve spent all these months looking for this book, and you know Kaden plans to use it to destroy the world…and a kiss is where you draw the line? Because you’re jealous? What happened to being in an open relationship with Kaden? Wouldn’t she be used to things like that? And then Liam kisses Camilla, and they have a full-on make-out session. Like I’ve said a million times before, I’ll say it again, JUVENILE. In this make-out session, Camilla gives Liam all the answers they need magically somehow, and there’s some betrayal stuff, Dianna gets shot in the head, and then they end up shouting in the forest at each other like a bunch of high schoolers because Dianna was jealous. Then we get cockblocked by some gargoyles, excuse me, Irvikuven. I’m nearly 80% of the way through now, and still, there is no spice—oh, just kidding, right at 80% is where the magic finally happens. And the magic was only some foreplay that reminded me of the scene in ACOMAF when Rhysand and Feyre share a bed, he finger bangs her, and then they go to sleep. If you were reading this book hoping for spice, I’m here to tell you there are two chapters of ‘spice’: some finger banging and a really uncomfy blow job. And that’s it. I was just begging for the book to end at this point. I was entirely unsurprised by every single person betraying Dianna. It became repetitive after the third betrayal, like how shocking, yet another person betrayed them! Wow, I am so surprised! Dianna crying and constantly whining about being a repulsive monster was so exhausting. I was so sick of listening to her and Liam whine over one another and everything else. I wish this book was cut in half, ripped to shreds, and put back together several more times before it was released. Because, as I’ve said before, I see potential in bits and pieces, but it’s just so poorly written that I cannot give it more than one star. There’s an actual part where she says this as a sentence ‘Logan having the same deposition toward him as I.’ First of all, that’s not even a complete sentence. Second of all, DEPOSITION? Do you mean DISPOSITION? There are about a thousand more things I could say at this point, but I’m running out of space, and I want to touch on the plot twist ending that everyone was so surprised by. Please explain to me how. The whole Dianna/Gabby relationship was so heavy-handed. It was so thrown in your face how much Dianna loves her, and honestly, my thought process was, okay, this book has been advertised that Dianna is a villain. Still, she’s not, so I bet Gabby, her only reason for doing all this will get killed, which will be the catalyst for Dianna becoming an actual villain. And lo and behold, I was right! Predictable. Like good god, that was a month and a half of my life I will never get back. View all my reviews

[atlafan]

The Real Him - One Shot

a/n: I’m not sure where this came from...a lot of this is sort of how I feel about writing, and reading, and how my brain works???? Hope you enjoy cause it’s fun! Book Writer!Harry x Y/N (not proofread) 

Words: 9.6K

Warnings: Fluff, wee bit of angst, and smut

Books weren’t things Y/N found interesting. She hated reading the assigned books in high school for whatever English classes she had to take. She often would just read what she needed on Sparknotes, and that was enough. Then, in college, even if she wanted to read for leisure, she didn’t have the time. She had to read articles and academic journals constantly. By the time she was done for the day, the last thing she wanted to do was read.

Now, as a young adult living in the city, she noticed her anxiety was always worse at night. She lived alone in a little studio apartment, it had a wonderful view. She would watch TV or scroll on her phone until she fell asleep, but the screens were too much for her eyes. She knew it wasn’t good for her. Much to her friends’ shock, she texted them asking them for book recommendations. Y/N didn’t want to think too hard, she didn’t like scary stories, but she also liked a little bit of world building and romance. Fuck, if there was anything she loved, it was a good romance. Her friends told her about this young author they discovered whose stories were enthralling.

She took their word for it, and ordered one of his books off his website. He was self-published, which she found to be interesting. How good could he be if a major publication didn’t want him? She trusted her friends’ opinions though, so she went with it. He had this series called, The Unicorn in the Farmer’s Pool, that they raved about. She told herself she’d start with the first one and see how it goes. Sometimes Y/N had a hard time concentrating to even read a book, so she didn’t want to buy too many.

The title of the book itself was odd, but when she read the description she understood. Apparently, it was about this young woman, new to town, who was going for a walk with her younger sister, and one day they come across this beautiful old home and large farm. There was a pool in the back with one of those big unicorn floats, which they both found odd. They see the farmer outside, and the woman inquires about it. He explains that it’s his daughter’s. He and his wife were divorced, and she moved out to the city. Unfortunately, she passed away, so his little girl came home to live with him.

It was a certified slow burn, so when it came in the mail, Y/N couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. There was only one picture of the author, Harry Styles, on his website. The book, however, had a lovely picture of him on it. He even named his publication company after himself, trademarking HES Books. He was handsome, there was no denying that.

“Alright, let’s see how well this guy knows how to write thing from the perspective of a woman.” She says as she settles into her bed with the book.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N found a book that she just couldn’t put down. Sure, she passed out with it on her chest, but she’d get right back to it the next night. She was ripping through it. Her heart would race anytime the farmer and the woman had a scene together. She cried when he spoke about his divorce, and how he never slept knowing his daughter was so far away. He’d never wish his ex-wife ill, but he felt like it was fate to have his daughter home. He’d give her anything she wanted, even a giant unicorn float for the pool. Something she couldn’t have in the city. His daughter would paint his nails glittery colors, and he didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought of it. Y/N could feel her heart pounding as the woman slowly fell for him. They became fast friends but it was clear they wanted more, but they were both so scared.

“Oh, you son of a bitch.” She says to herself when she gets to the end of the book, it was a cliffhanger. They hadn’t even gotten together yet. They were caught in a rain storm, about to kiss, but they were interrupted. “Goddammit.” She groans and grabs her laptop to buy the rest of the series. “Welp, Mr. Styles, you now own my ass, I hope you’re happy.” She sticks her tongue out at his picture on his website.

By the time she finished the third book, she was inconsolable. It thrilling, but she knew it couldn’t be the end for the two who were now so in love with each other. She also couldn’t believe how well written their love scenes were, a little shocked there was a small dash of smut. She looked on his website and saw he was set to release the fourth and final book of the series soon, and there would be a big release for it. He would do a reading and signing. Y/N texted her friends and they all agreed they needed to go. They still couldn’t believe how much Y/N liked the series. It consumed her soul, she couldn’t get enough. She even bought his other standalone novels to read until the release.

Eliza: hey! HES just released the first book on audio, and he narrates it! Should hold us over until the release ;)  

Y/N: holy fucking shit! Literally about to go download it, thanks!!!

Now this was a way to fall asleep, she thought. She plugged her earbuds into her phone, turned her light off, and hit play. She gasps the second she hears his voice.

“He’s British?!” She says to herself. “Dear god.”

His voice was deep and sultry, and sounded incredibly crisp through the audio. Each night for the rest of that week, she fell asleep to the sound of Harry’s voice; it was euphoric. She felt sort of weird for becoming as big of a fan of him that she was. It was like she was in high school again having a crush on some unattainable celebrity. She couldn’t even talk about him to anyone at work. It was like this big secret between her and her friends. Instead of listening to music in her office, she started listening to interviews or podcasts he was involved in. Anything to just get a better understanding for who he was or how his mind worked. She found that he was incredibly private, only tweeting or posting on Instagram from promotional purposes. A PR person most likely running the sites for him.

“Okay, I think I’m obsessed with him, like, it’s bad.” She tells her friends at brunch one Saturday morning. They would all try their best to get together a couple times a month.

“Welcome to the dark side.” Eliza says.

“I knew if we didn’t push you that you’d come around at some point to ask us for a book rec.” Melinda says.

“You could have just showed me his picture, he’s so handsome! I can’t wait to go to the signing. I wonder what type of suit he’ll wear. Maybe all black?”

“I heard he’s into florals lately.” Eliza says. “I’m glad we got our tickets when we did, it’s going to be packed.”

“Yeah, like, at least we’ll have seats for the reading.” Melinda says.

“I can’t believe we’re going to hear his voice in person. That audio book? Oh my god.” She pretends to fan herself. “I’ve been enjoying his other novels too. He has such a way with words, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a book this much. Maybe The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” She chuckles.

“Didn’t you read that in high school?!” Eliza laughs.

“Yeah!” Y/N laughs, and Melinda joins in. “I fucking hate reading. I wonder if he’ll ever sell the rights and have it turned into a movie or TV series.”

“People have been begging him. He said maybe once the fourth book has been out for a bit. He didn’t want to feel pressured, like, you know how with Game of Thrones the books didn’t come out fast enough for the series?” Melinda says.

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I think a TV show would be good. Then they could take their time with it. The only thing is I can’t picture someone playing the farmer other than him.” Y/N sighs.

“Agreed.” Eliza says. “I can really only see him.”

“So, how are we dressing for the signing? I don’t wanna look desperate by dressing up too much.” Melinda says.

“Melinda…” Y/N starts chuckling. “You have a girlfriend.”

“I’m aware.” She swats a hand at Y/N. “But damn, Harry is too fine.”

//

Y/N curls the ends of her hair on the day of the signing. It was finally here, and she couldn’t be more excited. She found a cute yellow top to wear with some high waist jeans. She does some simple makeup, but makes sure to have her eyes pop. The rules were that people could only bring one book with them, so she grabs the first in the Unicorn series. She fully intended to buy the new book as well, and they said he would sign all new purchases too.

She meets Melinda and Eliza outside the bookstore where it would all be happening. They get in line to buy their new books, and head to their seats. They were able to snag tickets for the second row. He would be reading the first few chapters of the first book, and then would spend the rest of the time signing books.

“I’m so excited.” Y/N whispers to both of her friends.

A man comes out shortly to check the crowd of people waiting, and soon it’s announced that Harry would be coming out. Everyone stands up and claps for him. He was wearing a sleek black suit, and his hair was pushed back off his face. He looked bashful as he smiled out to everyone, and stood at the podium provided. Everyone sits back down as he clears his throat.

“Thank you all so much for being here. Whether you’re a new fan or if you’ve been with me for years, I appreciate your support. It feels surreal for this series to be over. I’ve loved these characters so much, and when I finished the final edits, it felt weird saying goodbye. I also want to say thanks for all the support with the first audio book. I fully intend to do one for the rest, it just takes a lot of time and editing, so hold tight for me, alright?” The crowd giggles, and his dimple grows deeper. He takes a sip of the water provided, and opens the book. “Let’s get started shall we?” He looks up at the audience who was waiting patiently. He makes eye contact with Y/N. It’s brief, but he looked at her…or at least she told herself he did.

His voice was just as smooth in person as it was on the audio. Y/N was swooning, barely paying attention to the words, but more so watching the way his lips moved. The way he’d lick his lips after getting a sip of water, and watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. It all felt like a dream. He ended up reading five chapters instead of three, as a treat, until his manager came out to remind him to wrap it up.

“Right, well, I’ve been told I’m done speaking.” He chuckles. “I just need about ten minutes and I’ll be able to sign all your books. Thanks so much!”

He leaves as everyone claps for him again. Everyone gets in line and waits for him to return. There was a table waiting for him to sit at and a ton of markers.

“I wonder how long we’ll get with him. Like, a minute, right?” Eliza asks.

“Make every second count.” Y/N says.

“I’m gonna try to take a selfie.” Melinda says. “Then I’ll really remember it forever.”

As the girls got closer to the front of the line, Y/N felt herself getting nervous, and her palms were starting to sweat. She tries to wipe them on her jeans before she gets to him.

“Hello, love.” He smiles at her. “Whatcha bring f’me?”

“Huh?” She was so taken aback.

“Well, I know you didn’t come here to have me sign a body part…unless you did.” He shrugs. “Although, I don’t think my manager would appreciate that.” He winks at her and it makes her giggle.

“I have the first back, and the newest one.” She hands them both to him. “I have to say, I’m not really a big reader, but this really drew me in. I think I’ve fallen in love with reading for the first time in my life.”

“That’s like…I mean…wow, what a compliment, thanks.” He signs both of the books. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He repeats as he continues to leave a nice note in both of her books. “You know pictures aren’t allowed, but if you turn around and happen to take a selfie they can’t stop you.” He points to the few guards.

Y/N turns around and takes a selfie with Harry. She turns back around and chuckles as she takes her books back.

“Thank you so much. I can’t wait for the next audio books.”

“You liked the first one?”

“Loved it.”

“So, it wasn’t weird listening to me for that long?”

“Not at all…” She starts blushing. “Your voice is sort of, um, soothing…I have a lot of anxiety at night, and, well, reading, and evening listening has helped me sleep a lot better. So, thanks again.” She smiles at him and he smiles back.

He wished he could hug her. He looks back at his manager, who just sighs at him and nods. Harry stands up from the table and walks around. Before she knew it, his arms were being wrapped around her. She got a whiff of his cologne, and she swore it was her new favorite smell in the world. She barely got a chance to put her hands on him before his manager said it was enough and Harry needed to get back to it.

“Sorry, that was just so endearing.” He lets go of her and sits back down. “Thanks for your support.”

Y/N steps aside and looks at her friends who were waiting for her to finish up. She looks back at Harry who was already talking to the next person. She sighs, knowing she was long forgotten already.

“Oh my god, I took a picture of him hugging you.” Eliza says. “What was it like? All he did was shake my hand.”

“He smelled so good.” Y/N whines. “Girls, let’s go out for drinks tonight. I need to get some energy out.”

“Great idea! We can drink and then dance the night away.” Melinda says. “What did he write in your books?”

“I don’t wanna look yet, I wanna save it.” Y/N smiles and holds her books close to her.

//

After grabbing dinner and dropping their books off at Y/N’s place, they all head to their favorite dance bar. They all get their drinks and stand near the bar to drink them. Y/N was happily sucking on her straw, swaying along to the fast beat of the music.

“Look, they actually roped off the VIP section.” Eliza points out. Y/N and Melinda turn to look.

“I wonder who’s here. Once in a while someone cool shows up.” Melinda says.

The group in the VIP section erupts into laughter, and the girls’ eyes grow wide. Harry was standing up from the booth, looking much more casual. He still had his dress pants and button up on, but his sleeves were pushed up, revealing his tattoos. He strides up to the bar as he shakes his head back at his friends. He brushes right by the girls, bumping into Y/N, causing her to spill her drink.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, love.” He says to her, and then he looks her up and down. “Do I know you?” He slurs slightly.

“Um…we…we met earlier today. You signed my books.”

“I signed your what?!” The music was really loud, he must have thought she said something else.

“Books, books!” She really enunciates the k sound.

“Oh!” He bursts out laughing, and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I was gonna say, that sorta thing isn’t really my style. What are you drinking, I’ll get you a new one.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. There’s still plenty in here.”

“Don’t be silly, I feel terrible. In fact,” He looks at Melinda and Eliza, and then to the bar tender. “Their next round’s on me. I also need another bottle of Patron for my table.”

“Coming right up!”

“Lost a bet with ‘em.” He rolls his eyes. “So the next bottle’s on me.” He shrugs.

“We’ll bring it over to you.” The bar tender says as she puts up three new drinks for you and your friends.

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“S’the least I can do. Your support is the only reason why I can afford what I have. I should buy your drinks all night.” He smirks.

“Y/N.” Melinds grabs her shoulders and whispers in her ear. “Go for it, bitch, go for it. He’s hitting on you. We’ll be over there.”

She lets Y/N go and drags Eliza with her over to another part of the bar. Y/N grabs her drink and smiles at Harry.

“Your name’s Y/N, right?”

“You must have seen hundreds of people today, how’d you remember?”

“I’m really good with names.” He grins. “Do you want to join me and my friends?”

“What?!”

“Come on, seems like your friends are busy anyways.” He nods over to Melinda and Eliza where Melinda was working as a wing-man for Eliza. “They’re bringing over the Patron, you’ll love it.” He grabs her wrist and brings her over. One of the body guards raises his eyebrows. “I’m baacckk, let us in Mike.” Mike lifts the rope up and lets Harry and Y/N in. “Everyone this is Y/N, she’s got to be one of my biggest fans, so she’s joining us.” He pulls her down into the booth with him and puts his arm around her shoulders.

He was drunk, this was very clear. No one seemed bothered by her presence. Everyone was just happy to have refills for their drinks. Harry takes a shot of the Patron along with everyone else as Y/N sips on her drink. She felt bad, Eliza had to be a bigger fan of Harry, or at least she had been a fan longer…

“So, how’d you know he’d be here?” Harry’s manager, Jeff, asks.

“I didn’t.” She blushes. “My friends and I come here all the time.”

“Right, like we haven’t heard that one before.” Jeff smirks. “Some of you fangirls-“

“Oi! Don’t make fun, she’s cool.” Harry defends her.

“I can prove I’ve been here plenty of times.” Y/N takes her phone out and shows them her Facebook page. “There, you can see how many times I’ve checked in here. I only live a block away, so this tends to be the spot.”

“See, Jess, this is the spot.” Harry smirks, and knocks back another shot. “We’re being rude, here.” He slides a shot over to her. “Have as much as you like.”

“That’s okay, I have this.” She points to her glass.

“Oh, I knew I liked you, you’re so nice.” He pulls her a little closer to him. “But really, if you want any, you can have as much as you want, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Y/N sort of just sits there and tries to listen as each person talks, but the music was so loud, and she was itching to dance, especially now that she had a couple of drinks in her. She was drumming her fingers mindlessly on the table.

“Do you want to dance?” He whispers in her ear. A shiver goes up her spine. She looks up at him and nods. “Alright, let’s hit it then.”

She gets out of the booth and he quickly follows her out to the dance floor. At first it’s just light and playful, he keeps one hand in hers, but keeps a respectable distance. If Y/N was dancing with her friends right now she’d probably be popping her ass no problem. She sort of wished they were still around. She couldn’t remember the last time she danced with a guy. She looks at him and feels a little bold, so she hooks an arm around his neck and dances close to him. His hands move to her hips as she essentially grinds on his thigh. When the next song starts, she turns around to grind her ass against his pelvis. He presses forward against her and she can tell he’s very happy to be dancing with her.

“You said your place was only a block away?” He says into her ear, and she nods. “Wanna head there?”

She stops dancing and turns around to face him.

“Are you serious?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, too forward?”

“No…I just…um…yeah, let’s go back to mine.”

He smiles and throws his arm around her shoulders. He looks over at Jeff who was still sitting with their friends. He waves off to him, and heads out side with Y/N. Harry whistles for a cab, and one pulls up almost right away. They both get into the backseat, and Y/N gives the driver her address. Harry rubs circles into her shoulder. She rests her hand on his knee, as her leg shakes with nerves.

“You alright, love?”

“Mhm, yeah.” She doesn’t look at him.

“No need to be nervous, babe, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

She looks up at him now and smiles. She wanted to do everything with him. It was like every fantasy she had was coming to life. She had dreams about this, but never thought it would come true. The cab pulls up in front of Y/N’s building and they both get out of the cab. She keys into the front door and she leads him to the elevator.

“I’m surprised you’re not exhausted, must be draining to meet so many people.”

“Caught a second wind.” He winks at her. She giggles as they get off at her floor.

She leads him inside as she flips the lights on.

“It’s just a studio.”

“It’s nice, just enough space. You’ve got a great view.” He says as he walks over to the window.

“Yeah, I got really lucky.”

“Mind if I pull the curtains?”

“Not at all.”

She watches the muscles in his back flex as he reaches to pull the curtains closed. He turns to face her and walks over to where she is. He cups one of her cheeks and she leans into his touch.

“I have to be honest, I don’t usually do this.” He says.

“Do what? Hook up with a girl from a bar?” She smirks.

“No, hook up with a fan…” He sighs. “But what you said to me earlier about your anxiety and how my books have helped you, it stuck with me all day. I’m really glad I ran back into you. I got kinda nervous when you didn’t message me.”

“What? Why would I have?”

“I wrote my number in your book.” He lets go of her and steps back. “You didn’t read my notes?”

“No, I…I was saving them for when I was feeling down.” She admits, a little embarrassed. “Why did you put your number in it?”

“In case you ever needed someone to talk to…if you ever got sick of listening to the same story over and over. It was a little impulsive, but no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“I’m surprised by that.”

“Usually people just tell me that they enjoyed it, or they try to flirt or something. It’s usually pretty hollow.” He shrugs. “But you…” He takes her hands in his. “Well…if you noticed, I didn’t really hug anyone else.”

“I did notice. You made me feel really special, Harry.”

“I’d like to keep making you feel that way…”

He releases her hands, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Her hands slide up through his curls, and she gets up on her tip toes while his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close. His lips brush over hers, and she pulls his face closer to hers to deepen the kiss. She smiles against his lips which makes him smile and pull back.

“What is it?”

“I just…I can’t believe this is happening…” She presses her hips closer to his.

“You’ve thought about this before, with me?”

She nods her head yes and he smirks.

“Is that weird?” She asks, cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

“Who am I to judge what helps someone fall asleep at night?” His voice was low now, eyes darker than they were moments before.

Maybe this wasn’t something either of them should be doing while inebriated. But from lack of better judgement they start kissing again. His hands slide down to cup her ass, and his large hands give her a squeeze. She groans into his mouth, giving him the perfect excuse to lick into her. Her tongue molds to his, and she starts pushing him to walk back towards her bed. He happily lets her lead the way.

The back of his calves hit the bed, and he almost loses his balance. He sits down and brings her with him so she’s straddling his lap. Lips only breaking for a moment to get some air until they’re on each other again. Her hands lace through his hair and he groans when she tugs on him. His lips move to her jaw and then to just under her ear. She gasps when she feels him suck on the tender skin. Her hips roll down over his, and he smirks against her. He licks over the spot he was sucking on, and goes back for more. She grinds herself against him, feeling his bulge press up against where she needs it most. His lips move back to hers so he can nip at her bottom lip before looking at her.

“You want this?” He asks.

“Wouldn’t have said yes to coming back here if I didn’t.”

“You could have changed your mind between the bar and now.” He tucks some loose strands of hair behind her hair. “I meant what I said earlier, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to, do you?”

“I certainly didn’t change my mind.”

She smiles and leans in to kiss him again before getting off him. She reaches behind him quickly to snag one of her throw pillows to put on the floor. She sits up on her knees before him and reaches for his for the button on his dress pants. She looks up at him as he widens his legs for her. He wasn’t expecting a blow job, but he wasn’t one to turn it down. She pops the button and undoes his zipper. She reaches into his pants and palms him through his boxers first. His palms were flat on the bed, his arms keeping him up, but he can’t help but let his head fall back from her touch.

“Harry, look at me.”

He immediately does as she says so he can make eye contact with her.

“Is this okay? Can I take it out?”

“Yeah, please.”

She smiles and tugs his pants and boxers down slightly, he lifts his hips up to help her. He unbuttons his shirt while his dick slaps up against his lower stomach. She gazes up at him. Once his shirt is off, she can’t help but look over all his tattoos.

“You’re so…pretty.” She chuckles.

“Not as pretty as you.” He runs his hands through her hair, giving her a little encouragement to get started.

She blushes as her eyes fall to his hard cock, tip swollen and ready to go. She licks her right hand and gives him a few pumps first. He grunts as he watches her. She licks a stripe up from his base to his tip before she wraps her lips around him. His eyes flutter closed for a second, but he didn’t want to miss anything so he does his best to keep his eyes open to watch her work on him. She already had small droplets of spit rolling down her chin. Sloppy, he thinks to himself and he smirks. She sinks a little further down on him, testing herself to see how much she can take. He thrusts up slightly to meet her halfway and she gags on him, needing to pop off for a moment.

“Sorry, been a while.” She mumbles, and gets back on him.

“No worries, doing great, love.”

He helps keep her hair back as she starts to bob up and down on him. Her warm mouth felt so fucking good around him. She swallows around him before really hollowing her cheeks to suck on him. Her mouth moves up to his tip so she can lick away at his slit. She wraps a hand around him to pump him as she does this.

“Baby, baby, hold on.” He pants, and moves her face away from him. She looks up at him with big, innocent eyes that were slightly watery now. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.” He sounded almost out of the breath. She nods and stands up. His hands grips her hips and then slide to the button on her own jeans. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” She says, taking off her shirt. He looks up at her and kisses on her chest as he undoes her pants.

He yanks them down her legs. He smiles at her mismatched set of underwear. She had worn a white bra with her yellow shirt, and a simple pair of blue panties with her jeans.

“I didn’t think, um, I would be…it was a girl’s night, and-“

“Do you really think I care about your underwear not matching?” He raises an eyebrow at her as he smirks.

She smiles and rests her hands on his shoulders as he kisses on her lower tummy. He stands up to kick his pants away, and lets her get on the bed. She lays on her back, propping herself up with her elbows. He crawls onto the bed and settles between her legs. His lips find hers as he grinds himself against her covered center. She bites her bottom lip, just wanting her underwear gone. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra. After a few seconds of fumbling he gets it, and watches the bra loosen around her. She pushes it off her shoulders, and tosses it to the ground. His hands cup her full breasts immediately. He kneads them and tweaks her nipples. She grinds her hips up towards his as they continue to move against each other. He dips his head down to kiss on her chest, and he rolls a nipple between his teeth. He works his way down her body and slides her underwear down her legs, tossing them aside where he feels like. She parts her legs for him.

He dips his down and licks from her center to her clit. He does this slowly but with precision. Her hips buck up towards him, encouraging him to keep going, so he does. He licks all around her until his lips are around her throbbing clit. He nibbles and sucks and flicks his tongue while his fingers explore her folds. Her hands were in his hair. She kept thinking she was going to wake up. Any minute now she would snap out of her dream. She would pinch her eyes closed and expect to see the morning sun creeping through her windows, but not this time. When she opened her eyes there he was, head between her legs, lapping away at her. The clouds covering the moon and night sky. He had her whimpering and tugging at his hair. He wanted her to come, but not yet, just get her to the brink. She pouts at him when he lifts his head. He licks his lips and smiles at her.

“Got any rubbers?”

“Mhm, in the bathroom, I can-“

“I got it, just tell me where.”

“The box in the cabinet below the sink.”

He pecks her lips before going into her little bathroom. He smirked to himself wondering how he might shower the next morning. He was taller than the showerhead. He bends down to open up the cabinet and spots the box of condoms. It was opened, but not many were missing. Not the he was one to judge. Harry hooked up a lot. He grabs a couple, just in case they feel like getting frisky again later on, and heads back out. He rips the foil packet open and slides it on over his length. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation.

“Tell me something,” He starts as he gets back on the bed, between her legs, hovering over her body. “When you had me in your thoughts was it ever like this?”

He rubs his tip against her clit, getting her to moan out. He pushes into her entrance but doesn’t go much further until he gets his answer. His eyebrows were raised, looking at her.

“This is usually the part when I’d wake up.” She whispers. “Before anything good could really happen.” She cups his cheek and runs her thumb over his cheekbone. “Please.”

He kisses her as he pushes the rest of the way inside her. They both groan. She was so wet, even with the condom on, it still felt amazing. He was nice and snug inside her. He moves slowly at first to not hurt her. He hooks an arm under one of her legs to bring it up a little higher. He wanted to get in as deep as possible. She clutches at his shoulders as he drives it in.

“Oh my god.” She gasps as his tip brushes her g-spot. “Jesus Christ.” She grits her teeth.

“Ever had anyone like this before?” He says into her ear.

“Never this deep, shit.”

He sits up and puts both of her legs over his shoulders. His fingers press bruises into her thighs as he holds onto her. She looks up at him as her mouth falls open. He was ramming into her and it felt so good to fuck like this. She didn’t want to be treated delicately. What he was doing was amazing, but her clit was missing the friction, so her hand slides down to rub at it.

“Fuck.” He breathes as he watches her touch herself. He lets go of one of her thighs and moves her hand aside so he can rub it for her. Her head rolls back the second she feels his thumb on her.

“Just like that.” She pants. “Don’t stop.”

He grunts his response as he continues to fuck her. He could feel her tightening around his cock and he knew she was close. He rubs her a little faster, and watches as her body contorts under his.

“Let go, come on, show me how you do it, Y/N.”

That pushes her over the edge. She cries out as she comes around him. He rubs her still, but slows his pace to help her through it. She tightens around him again as she comes down from her bliss. He drops her legs and pulls out. He sits up against her headboard and pulls her into his lap. He doesn’t have her face him, though, he has her sit on him facing away. Her head rolls back against his shoulder once she sinks down on him. She uses her knees to push herself up and down on his cock. He bites down on her shoulder, licks up to just under her ear to suck on the tender skin again. His hands find her bouncing breasts, and he kneads them.

“Harry.” She groans.

“Feels good, love?”

“So good.” She turns her head and sticks her tongue out slightly so he’ll kiss her. His tongue meets hers and they practically slobber all over each other as her pace quickens on him.

His hands slide down to her hips to help her. He thrusts up into her to get into a rhythm. He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of his spine.

“Fuck, oh my god.” He moans, which makes her moan. She tightens around him. He wanted her to come again, to come with him, so he rubs her clit while she continues to bounce him.

“Shit, fuck, Harry!”

They come at the same time, both of them crying out form the intensity. He gives her a second to catch her breath before he lifts her off of him. She gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom to clean herself up. He goes in after her to rid himself of the condom. She was about to throw on a t-shirt when he comes back out.

“Don’t bother.” He smirks.

“What do you mean?”

“It’ll just come off again.”

“Oh.” She blushes and puts it back into her dresser.

He gets on the bed with her and pulls her close to his chest. His fingers run up and down her back lightly, causing goosebumps to raise on her skin. She rests one of her legs on top of his, and wraps her arm around his torso. She wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy to fuck him again so soon, especially when the rhythm of his heart beat was lulling her to sleep. Her eyes flutter closed. He looks down at her and smiles when he sees her lips parted. He kisses the top of her head, and slowly falls asleep himself.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up cozy, head stuffed into her pillow, blankets wrapped around her. It was darker than usual. Her eyes flutter open and see the rain falling down. She hears it tapping delicately against her windows. It was a normal Sunday morning, or it would have been if she hadn’t completely forgotten there was a warm body wrapped around her. She rolls over slowly not to disturb the stranger. She gasps to herself when she sees it really is Harry Styles, not just some guy that looked like him. She really took him home with her and she really fucked him. He pulls her closer to her and she sighs.

“Your bed’s comfy.” He mutters.

“Thanks, I’ve got one of those foam pads under the sheets. Makes a world of difference.”

She feels his chest rumble as he chuckles. She feels him press a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling away slightly.

“Mind if I grab a shower?”

“Not at all.” She smiles up at him. “If you don’t mind smelling like my fruity shampoo, that is.”

“You’re funny.” He chuckles again and stretches as he sits up. He rubs his eyes, and gets out of the bed. Y/N couldn’t help but ogle his naked body as he walks away. He pops his head out of the door frame to look at her. “Are you coming?”

“Oh…you wanted me to-“

“Obviously.” He scoffs. “Wouldn’t mind fucking you again, either.”

Normally she’d wrap herself in a blanket, but if he was going to be bold, then so was she. So she gets out of bed and struts over towards him. She brushes her teeth quickly as he uses some mouth wash. She gets the water in the shower going.

“Does that head detach? I don’t know if I can crouch for that long.” He laughs.

“Yeah, it comes right off, don’t worry.” She pulls back the curtain and they both get in.

She helps him wash up, scrubs her nails over his head as she washes out the shampoo, and once they’re both clean, he hoists her up against the wall, and kisses her. She was plenty wet for him, and he smiles against her as he slips a finger inside her.

“You were ready f’me, hm?”

“Guess so.” She nips at his bottom lip, which delights him.

“Mind if I just slip it in like this and pull out after?”

“That’s fine.” She smiles. “Wouldn’t mind actually being able to feel you.”

“Christ.” He groans, and then pushes his hard cock inside her. Her head rolls back against the tile as his lips attack to her throat.

It was a nice, passionate morning fuck. When they’re done she gets him a towel, and wraps one around herself. He watches as she runs around to make her bed back up. It was a small apartment, so any clutter just made it look even smaller. He grabs his phone out of his pants pocket, and sighs.

“Alright?” She asks, sitting on the edge of her bed. He comes to sit down next to her.

“Yeah, just a ton of missed calls and texts. Thought I made it pretty clear to Jeff I wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel last night.”

“Do you have a plane to catch or anything?”

“Not today, tomorrow though.”

She watches as he types away to respond to the dozen or so texts he had form various people.

“Would you like any coffee or anything? Juice?”

“Just a black coffee would be perfect if it’s not too much trouble, love.”

“Coming right up.”

His eyes flicker up to watch her bum and hips sway as she walks into the kitchen area. She fills up her Keurig to get his coffee going.

“No cream or sugar, just black?”

“Please.” He smiles. “Thanks.”

She nods and gets a mug down from her cabinet to place under the machine. She thinks he’s talking to her for a moment, but when she looks over she can see he’s on the phone.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’m well aware, thanks.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m allowed to go out and have some fun.” He crosses a leg over the other so he can rest his elbow on his thigh, propping his chin up with his palm. “She’s making me a cup of coffee, is that alright? No, I don’t just carry those in my back pocket…” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll take care of it. Alright, bye.”

She comes over to him with a mug for him, and one for herself. She added a bit of cream to hers. She just couldn’t do black coffee.

“Thank you so much, feel like I’m about to get a headache.” He says, taking the mug from her, smacking his lips after he takes a sip.

“I have some aspirin if you need some.”

“Caffeine should work just fine, but thank you.”

“So, uh, not that I was listening in or anything, just, small space and all, but what don’t you carry around in your back pocket?”

“Oh.” He chuckles. “An NDA, that’s all. Jeff’s gonna email one over to me any second I’m sure.”

“What do you need an NDA for?”

“It’s not for me, it’s for you.”  She looks at him deeply confused. “I’m a very private person, and not that I think you’re the type to go around spouting your business, it’s just, well, you’re a fan and…”

“You need me to sign an NDA so I won’t tell anyone we fucked?”

“Basically, yeah. Sorry if that makes things a little awkward. It’s just to keep my personal life personal, that’s all.” He takes another sip of the coffee. “This is really good, what brand is this?”

“Green Mountain Coffee…it comes from Vermont.”

“It’s delicious, I’ll have to look into it.” He smiles, although she can tell she’s starting to feel uneasy. She’s painfully aware that this was just a drunk hookup, a one night stand. “Are you alright?” He puts a hand on her knee.

“M’fine, just a bit groggy.” She sips her own coffee.

“Well, I’m starved, you’ve gotta be too, right? What a good place to grab some breakfast around here?” He stands up and starts looking for his clothes.

“Um…there’s a place right down the street.”

“We’ll have to take a cab unless you have a really big umbrella.” He smirks as he pulls his boxers on.

“Do I have to sign an agreement saying I won’t talk about breakfast too, or?”

Harry sighs as he pulls his pants on. She looks at him as she sips her coffee.

“Guess I’ll find out when I read the fine print.” She stands up and walks back over to her kitchen area. He follows her there with his mug and sticks it in the sink.

“Why is it such a big deal?”

“It’s not, I just…I mean…what do you think I’m going to do? Go onto a blog and spill every detail about last night? As if I could remember every little thing.” She scoffs and rinses out her mug.

“You easily could. You have to understand, sometimes when stories slip or people feel like they know things about you, it’s harder to get deals or make business decisions. I want to be taken seriously, so I don’t post personal things on social media, and I have the people I hook up with sign NDA’s.”

“Well, maybe I should have you sign one for me then.” She says, crossing her arms. He raises an eyebrow at her. “How do I know our night together won’t be inspiration for your next love scenes? You’re quite descriptive in your works. You must take from real life when you’re writing those things.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll text Jeff and have him email me two, one for each of us. I won’t talk about you and you won’t talk about me. Now, can we please go get some breakfast?”

“Why do you even want to go anywhere with me if you’re so scared of people finding out?” She walks over to her dresser to pick out an outfit she wouldn’t mind getting wet in the rain.

“It’s one thing to be seen with someone at a diner, it’s another to have what you’re like in the bedroom aired out to millions of people.”

“It’ll be obvious we slept together. My neck is littered with kiss marks.” She taps over one of the spots. He watches as she wriggles a pair of panties up her legs, and then a pair of jeans. “You’re also wearing your clothes from last night.” She tosses him his button up.

“I don’t suppose you have a large t-shirt I could throw on?”

“I’m sure I could find one.” She find a bra and t-shirt of her own, and then rummages through her pajama drawer for one of her larger bed shirts. “Here.” She hands him the shirt. He puts it on and looks down at it.

“Cute.” He smiles. “You can keep mine, and I’ll keep this one, how’s that sound?”

“Guess I’m just glad that’s not my favorite one.” She grabs her raincoat and umbrella. She furrows her brows and then remembers where her rubber boots on. “Could you order an uber or something?”

“Sure.”

They get down to the street, and head into the car he ordered. The diner was busy when they got there, but since it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to wait long to be seated. Harry’s phone pings with the email from Jeff.

“So…I just need to digitally sign it?”

“Mhm.” He hands his phone over to her so she can read over everything. He rests his chin on his palm. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone read over it so diligently before.”

“I’m a lawyer.” She mumbles.

“No shit.” He sits up, suddenly even more intrigued with her. “Good for you.”

“Well, I’m in law school, and I work as a para at a law firm, but I’m getting there.” She says as she uses her finger to sign her life away. “I’d like to read the one he sent to you for me.”

“Just swipe to the next email.”

She nods and looks it over. It was the same as her. She hands him back his phone and watches him sign it.

“I’d like both copies emailed over to me.”

“Alright, what’s your email?”

“I’ll put it in.” She takes his phone back and puts her information in, sending herself the copies. “There.” She crosses her arms. “Happy?”

“Yes, actually.”

A waitress comes over to them, and they both order scrambled eggs with bacon, potatoes, and toast. It’s quiet between them for a few moments. She looks out the window to watch the rain fall, and then looks back at him. He was twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He looks up at her.

“What am I doing here with you? You could have easily slipped out this morning, even last night…”

“I’m not that kind of guy.”

“So…what is this, a consolation before we never see each other again?”

“No.”

“Then what is this?! I feel like I’m not even looking at a real person. I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, and I would have killed for the opportunity to sit down and have breakfast with you. I have so many questions about your work, and-“

“So, ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me all your questions. What can I answer that I haven’t already in an interview? You wanna know my thought process? Where and what I get inspired by? How long it takes me to write a book, a chapter even? I only have bullshit answers, to be honest. I keep notes on my phone for when I get inspired, and then when I’m able to be at my computer I’ll type for hours without stopping. It’s like I blackout or something. It feels like I didn’t even take a second to blink. I’ll work on multiple projects at the same time too. I have three other books I’m currently working, all with completely different topics and characters. I can’t shut my brain off, ever. I don’t know why I’m like this. Even when I go on a vacation to unplug, I have to keep a notebook with me to write things down. I started writing because I just needed to get everything out of my head. I feel a huge sense of relief when I’m done with a piece so I can just move on from it. I had to start my own publication because my content was going to be put in the same category as Fifty Shades, and I didn’t want that. Luckily, Jeff went to school for PR, and he helped me out, and now he’s my manager. He’s the best there is, but sometimes it would be nice to fuck a pretty girl and take her to breakfast without having to worry about every little thing.”

Before Y/N can respond their food is brought over. They both thank the waitress. She picks her for up and plays with her potatoes before looking at him.

“Not to mention, said pretty girl told me how much my work means to her, how it helps her sleep at night. Fuck, I mean, I thought I was going to melt into a fucking puddle right there. My anxiety gets bad at night too, I knew exactly where you were coming from, babe. I can’t tell you how many nights I try to go to sleep and can’t, so I just get up and go back to my computer until I pass out in my chair.” He blinks at her, as she still says nothing. “Are you…not going to say anything?”

“I’m not sure what to say, I’m trying to take in everything you said and match it to the person you were yesterday at that signing. It’s an act, right? Your cool demeanor?”

“I have a stage presence for sure.” He sighs, and takes a bite of his bacon. “What am I gonna do, get up there and tell everyone that the fourth book took so long because I had to have surgery for carpal tunnel?”

“For someone who likes to be so private, you’re sure telling me a lot of personal things.”

“You signed something saying you wouldn’t discuss any of this, so I feel a little freer to explain myself. Have I totally ruined your perception of me? Is this a never meet your hero sort of moment?”

“Not at all.” She smiles. “You seem comfortable with me, which is nice. I like that I’m seeing this side of you, you’re more than just the suave guy I’ve seen in interviews, or listening to on podcasts. You’re a person, just like me.”

“Exactly, so you understand why I might want some privacy.”

“I do.” She nods and finally takes a bite of her food. “I’m sorry if I got a little pissy about it.”

“Don’t be, it’s always an awkward conversation to have.”

“So, how many women do you hook up with exactly? You’re making yourself sound like a player.” She chuckles.

“I mean…I’m a guy who has needs. I’m not gonna lie, I probably do it a little too much, but I don’t usually spend this much time with the person, or if I do…well…it’s not usually like this.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to actually have a conversation with you.” He shrugs. “You peaked my interest.”

“Clearly.” She smirks.

“At least I’ve never rubbed one out to the thought of a famous person.” He smirks back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you consider yourself famous?” She grins at him. “And I haven’t rubbed one out, it’s usually just a dream. Don’t flatter yourself, Harry.” She shakes her head.

“My bad, so I’ll just assume you get that wet for every guy you hook up with?”

Where was this conversation going, and why was it happening in such a public place? Was he trying to rile her up?

“I don’t think this is appropriate to talk about right now.” She whispers harshly.

He smirks and continues eating. They look at each other occasionally as they eat. The waitress comes over with the bill, and Harry throws some cash down on the table.

“Let me pay the tip at least.” She says, reaching for her purse.

“Don’t be silly, I put plenty down for the tip. I’ve got it.” He puts his hand over hers. “Seems like the rain’s stopped, wanna walk back?”

“Do you not need to be anywhere?”

“Nope.” He smiles. “Today’s my free day, isn’t that nice? I’ve got a plane to catch tomorrow morning, and that’s all I have to worry about. So, I’m more than happy to walk you back home.”

She nods and follows him out of the diner.

“So, do I only get your email, or do I get your number too?”

“Why, so you can hit me up whenever you’re in the city?”

“Precisely.” He nudges her as she laughs. “Come on, I gave you mine.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t even look…I would have been so embarrassed, you would have forgotten all about me. I don’t even know if I would have even had the courage to message you.”

“I wouldn’t have forgotten you.”

“Did you manager know you just gave your number out like that?”

“God no, he’d murder me.” Harry chuckles. “Jeff’s great, but he’s way too serious.”

“So, maybe I’ll message you sometime.”

“I prefer chatting on the phone, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Anyone can send a text, but a phone is, like, I don’t know, it’s romantic.”

“Romantic?”

“Yeah, like, a phone is something you really need to make time for.”

She pouts at him and looks at him with big eyes. They stop once they’re in front of her building.

“I come back to the city in two weeks, I really would like to see you again.”

“What are you coming back for?”

“Another signing. This one sold out, and I felt bad. I think anyone who wants to see me should.” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have anything that I do if it weren’t for the people who supported me.”

“That’s sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, I guess we could see each other again.”

“Great, just make sure you call me, okay? Then I can call you, and we’ll just be two people calling each other sometimes.” He blushes.

“Why are you so romantic?” She laughs and wraps her arms around his waist.

“I wish I knew. It’s a blessing and a curse, I think.” He sighs and cups her cheeks. He leans in and kisses her, she happily kisses him back and pulls him closer.

“Do you, um, need to go back to your hotel now?”

“Not necessarily, what’d you have in mind?” He raises an eyebrow at her. She leans up and whispers in his ear, making his cheeks grow hotter. He looks at her, a little stunned. “I definitely have time for that.”

“I figured you would.” She winks at him and yanks him into her building.

She wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. Everything still felt like a dream, only better. Even when Harry had to go off to his next signing, she slept better than she ever had. She called him late one night, much to his surprise, and they spoke for hours. She didn’t have to listen to the same words over and over to fall asleep, she had him, the real him.

[crown-anon]

@hearts1ck my beloved

November 1st

CW: explicit; more CWs under the cut

format: one-shot

people: GeorgeNotFound

pronouns: he/him; reader has male anatomy; more specifics under the cut

edited 14 March 2021

anonymous asked

consider. okay. CONSIDER. consider masochist george. okay?? okay. okay LISTEN.

I think I have a problem with gimmicks also. because. because. ever since strawberry milk george, I. I have not stopped thinking about strawberry flavored lube. because! listen okay hear me out.

(this is absolutely 110% a response to discovering that you share a birthday with him. what of it?)

I know everyone likes pillow princess george and. that's okay. that's FINE. these are not mutually exclusive.

george looking up at you with The LookTM wearing some pink strawberry milk lingerie. not even lingerie really! just something cute like that

& him being like. "I know you love me 👉👈 but I need you to fuck me like you don't"

so I was. thinking. that brat george is the exact kind of person to say (playfully & consensually) "but I don't wanna give you head, I just wanna fuck >:(" after you've got him worked up, maybe from teasing him throughout the day, or edging him a little. but you still need some type of lube. so you go to apply the first bottle you see and he's pink when he asks you "😳 is that ... strawberry ... ?" and you're confused like ??? bro you just asked me to fuck you into next week why're you interested in the flavored lube

but. but listen. he would get so enthusiastic about it. at first it's just "maybe I can stand to eat them out just a little bit before ..." and then after you come the first time it devolves really, really quickly into the need to just. take care of you. and it stretches on until you've come three or four times, and you're still shaking, and he's just. completely gone in subspace

hmm ... george climbing up onto your lap when he's done with you, going in to give you a kiss, and he tastes like strawberry. and he ends up moaning right into your mouth because he's been so horny but so? understimulated?? that he outright jumps as soon as his dick grazes your thigh. it would only take a couple stuttery grinds before he's finishing on both of your stomachs

and he's just so cute when comes, or when he bites down on your shoulder to keep himself quiet. and it's your birthdays. so, you decide you'll give him a reason to cry. and he'll finally get put in his place! it's a win-win for both of you!!

istg every time I send you an ask I discover something new about myself. you. you have made a dreamteam simp out of me. I am but a shell of the man I once was. I think I should thank you? [👑]

hearts1ck

i say this nearly every time you send stuff in but...... by god you own my soul. all of it. this – i – first of all, the implications of masochist george losing his fucking mind when you’re rough with him? guhhhfjklgjgf. and ,..d,,f,,, ,, ,, george in pink lingerie. i. i . a... pink satin slip maybe or .... ohghfd; oh my god those. that cat panty/bra set. im ascending im losing my brain as i type this i cannot –

okay im back on earth. he’d get into that rhythm and settle like liquid while he gets to work on you, and his subspace face is so self-satisfied and nearly smug so he’s just having the time of his life,,, and he makes such a loud noise when his dick twitches against your thigh and maybe... JUST MAYBE he whimpers extra watery when you drag his hips to grind against where you’re wet and dripping/your spent cock as if he’s the one who’d get overstimulated by it. when he finally leans away, eyelids heavy, you gently fit your hand over his jaw and ask, “did you even ask? it’s one thing to come without permission, but not even caring to ask? georgie, i might just be offended,” and he whines “green”s against your neck before you even check-in

and because u made it abt both of our birthdays ,,,, spanks for each year we’ve been alive methinks ??? and then the scratch down his ass gets him hard again and he’s so embarrassed by it, ,,, , ,, ,, ,, ,, ,

also thank god you’ve joined the george boat. i’m so proud of myself for hopefully being part of the reason you got dragged over here HJFKDHSKD

#👑 anon #(my beloved) #keep #anon thoughts: george #redsick #SHAWTY WANT THE WHOLE CREW SHAWTY BAD

as soon as you said birthday spanks I decided I had to write more about this. and I was going to leave more snippets in your askbox like the fucking gremlin creature I am, but then my thoughts started. actually having structure? and then I started writing it. and I tried to do homework and write on study breaks only but. I just kept coming back to this. this is the polar opposite of writer's block. I think I'm cursed or something. so here I am rushing to finish this so that I may rest in peace!!

yes I've been writing nonstop since I sent you that ask. what of it. what the fuck of it.

when I said I discover something new about myself every time we interact, I. I'm serious. I think I might be insane or something. I'm way too sadistic. you'll see. what the fuck is this? what the fuck did I just write??

this would have done so much critical psychic damage if I had posted it on November 1st in real life, but mental illness says I can't let my horny thoughts rattle around in my brain for that long. so!! it's you guys's problem now xoxoxo

I'm not fucking proofreading this. love you though 💗

I did end up proofreading actually. oops! looks like posting at 23:00 isn't always a good idea.

November 1st

CW: explicit, anal (kind of vague), bondage (collar + leash), corruption, domspace (I think??), edging, handjob, humiliation, masochism, oral, praise, sadism, spanking, subspace, swearing. I call George a whore and a slut at least once. and also, George calls yellow at one point. this one kind of surprised me so just. Be Careful. I cannot believe I wrote this. I don't know where this came from.

format: one-shot

people: GeorgeNotFound

pronouns: he/him; I use the word "sir;" reader has male anatomy; I use the words "cock," "dick," and "head;" reader can ejaculate

—

dawn shines through drawn curtains, illuminating the tile floor and your robed figure reflecting off it. batter sizzles in the skillet as you flip the last pancake over. this side looks golden brown, like honeycomb or caramelized sugar. that delicious, freshly-baked fragrance mingles with scented candles. it's perfect, you smile. he's going to love it.

you lift the pancake with a spatula, stacking it on top of the others on his plate. you bring it to his seat at the table, along with the butter, the syrup, the honey, the jam…and you go to pour him a drink.

"hey baby," you greet warmly to the sleepyhead rubbing his eyes in the entryway, still clinging to a pillow. his hair's a mess, only wearing socks and a sweatshirt that reaches down past his thighs. you reckon he'd only just crawled out of bed.

"morning…" he yawns, stumbling past you to take his seat.

"milk?" you ask, he only nods. "did you sleep okay?"

he hums affirmatively. "I…can we…"

one track mind, you joke inwardly. but you don't blame him. "of course," you open the fridge.

you hear him pause. "…is it too early for that?"

"no, no!" you give him a lighthearted laugh. "I kind of expected it, to be honest…I want it, too."

he's silent under the noise of you rummaging through the fridge. "I—"

"sorry—it looks like all we have is strawberry milk. is that alright?"

"yeah…yeah, that's alright. I…actually…wanted to try something new." you shut the fridge, he's fidgeting in his seat.

"hit me with it," your expression is gentle. you pass his cup off to him, but he holds his hand over yours a little too long, looking up at you.

"fuck me like you hate me."

you don't know if it's hearing him swear, or the way he said it so calmly, or how he closed his eyes and swallowed hard before his tone could dip down into something lower. but like a match in an torrent of gasoline, suddenly you're burning up.

you only realize you're staring when he bites his lip and looks down. you start to say something, but the words don't form.

he laughs nonthreateningly, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "is that a yes?"

you laugh with him. "I…yes, absolutely yes." you turn back around to make your own stack of pancakes. "you should eat first, though."

"what?" he teases. "will I need the energy?"

you smile. "yeah. I think you will." you can practically feel him open his mouth in protest, but he stays silent after that.

and it stays mostly silent while you cook your pancakes. you hear the clinking of his fork on his plate, but it isn't very disruptive. it sounds like he's hurrying to finish his food.

when you go back to the table with your own platter, he's already done eating. he's red down to his neck, fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt, looking at you expectantly. you spot a pair of tassels peeking out from under it, just below his hip bones. is that…

he pulls the hem up just a bit, holding your gaze. he smiles, apparently satisfied watching your face heat up.

"I—you should go…go get ready," you manage. he gets up before you even finish your sentence, only stopping to give you a quick kiss on the cheek.

except it isn't quick, when he slides his hand down to rest firmly on your collar, and leans in to trail kisses down your neck. "a-and leave that on," you stutter.

he pauses, just under your jaw. "leave what on?" he murmurs.

your breath catches, you shut your eyes. "whatever the fuck it is you're wearing under there."

he's hardly grazing your skin, but you can feel how hot he is next to you. it takes all of your willpower not to shiver.

he pulls back quickly, only his hand lingering. "I don't know what you're talking about." and just like that, he disappears into your bedroom.

you reach up a hand tentatively to your collar, hot to the touch. I'm in way too deep, you decide, and force yourself to take a bite of your food despite your nerves.

—

"that," you hiss. "that fucking outfit. that."

"oh, this?" he bites his lip, hooking his thumb in the keyhole. "this's just what I went to bed in last night."

"fuck you. we both know that isn't true."

he tugs gently on his top, pulling it a little to the side. "what's the big deal? can't I wear something special for my birthday?"

"it's special, all right," and you leave it at that, opting instead to slot between his legs where he sits waiting on the edge of the bed. you bring up a hand to cup his jaw, brushing your thumb across his cheek. you'll never get enough of the way he looks at you, like you're intoxicating.

…? you frown.

"is something…missing?" he perks up instantly at "missing."

"what…?" he chooses his words carefully.

"the collar—your collar. where is it?" you turn away to start going through your bedside table, but the way his lips quirk up into a sly smile isn't lost on you.

that's lube…that's a vibrator…where the fuck is it…? "w-what collar?" he stumbles over his words.

your mind jumps to say, the collar that came with that outfit, or I know you know what I'm talking about, but you won't give him the satisfaction. you decide to speak a little darker, only a firm "George." you hear him swallow.

"w-well," his voice is shaky, "you only told me to leave on whatever I was wearing under my shirt. and…I wasn't wearing that collar at breakfast…s-so technically…"

you stop looking immediately. you turn to take him in, legs crossed, stance confident, but expression showing uncertainty. you can see the regret on his face. "get up." he takes a shallow breath. "get up."

"I'm—"

"don't I'm sorry me," you snap. "you look for your fucking collar on your own."

he slips off the bed, looking ashamed, but starts digging through the drawer all the same. "I really am sorry," he murmurs. you take his place sitting on the bed. he finds what he's looking for rather quickly: a simple white leather collar with a bell, and a leash. he hands them off to you shyly. "um, here…"

"good boy," you praise. "kneel."

he shuts his eyes and does as he's told. you can see the bliss wash over his face just at being ordered around. his lips part a little as he lets out a heavy breath. if only I knew what this would do to him, you muse, I'd have done this ages ago.

you fasten the collar, revelling in how he shivers at the gentle sensation of cold leather hanging around his neck. you leave it a little bit loose, but still comfortable, and hook the leash in its place. he sits obediently still on his knees, looking deep in thought.

"Oh, I know what I'm gonna do to you," you bait. "how old are you today?"

"mmm. twenty-five." he looks down.

you smile, holding tight onto the leash. "I'm gonna edge you. twenty-five times."

he flinches away immediately, yet hums in pleasant surprise when the leash snaps taught. the bell jingles stiffly. "no way. that's way too much."

"I think you should've thought about that before you wore that to breakfast," you decide, tugging a little. he's caught off-guard and stumbles forward, stopping himself by leaving a clumsy pair of kisses on the inside of your thigh. the metal and leather feel refreshingly cool against your feverish skin. "we've got all day, baby."

you expect to hear some kind of protest, you're crazy. or a playful taunt, I'm better off doing this by myself. but he knits his brows and openly moans at the thought. "all day…" he repeats.

he looks up at you, almost pleading, and you can hear the resignation in his voice when he whispers "alright."

"get up here," you command. "on top of me." as he climbs up into your lap, a little too eagerly, you add, "and take your dick out."

you shrug your robe off your shoulders while he's working on his panties, and without thinking, you ask, "color?"

he stops, leaving his head poking cutely over the waistband. he looks up at you again. "…what?"

"um…color," you explain. "like, how are you doing? is this okay? I don't actually want to hurt you. uhhh…green means good, yellow means slow down, and red means stop."

he stifles a laugh. "you're such a nerd. I'm okay."

"alright." you blush a little. "we can stop whenever you need to. this is for you…" you think of something horribly unsexy to say. "…birthday boy."

now he's really laughing, with his whole body. you think the way it makes his collar jingle is cute. "oh my god. shut up. just shut up," his expression turns serious, and he drops to a whisper, "and fuck me."

that got you hot again. you pull him by the leash into a kiss, you bite his lip, you eat him up. and you grab the both of you together with your other hand, you moan in tandem. you can feel how you took him by surprise in the way he twitches under your thumb, the way he leans into you with his whole body. you part from the kiss and he leans back on his heels, panting hard, holding on to your shoulders for support. you can feel him shaking a little.

when you move your hand all the way up the first time, you squeeze both of your heads gently, and he practically falls into you. muffled in the crook of your neck, he begs, "god, do that again."

so you do. again. and again. what was a string of stuttered breaths turns into a single broken moan as you jerk the both of you off. when you think you're getting close, you let go of yourself to focus all your attention on him.

"fuck, sir," he whines—hahaha, that sir made your cock leak a little. he shut his eyes tight. "I-I-I think—I think I'm—"

just like that, you stop, and he goes slack, practically laying on you. but he doesn't grind back, or even move to touch himself. that won't last very long.

you let him come back down, knowing edging takes a lot out of you; maybe even more so than actually coming does. slowly but surely, his breathing steadies. you rub between his shoulderblades affectionately, still trying to ground yourself, too.

once you've found your voice again, you question, "are you gonna count for me?"

he makes a sound against your skin, somewhere between excitement and fear. "…o-one." you revel in how fucked-out he sounds already.

"one what?" you prod.

he seems at a loss, like he's forgotten himself, what he said. after a minute or two of pondering, he catches on. "…sir."

it's your turn to moan. your dick jumps at the honorific, still mostly untouched against your stomach. "good boy." and you dive back in. twenty-four to go.

—

it's noon. you're working on nineteen. and your partner's getting much more…expressive. he's started biting his hand to keep himself quiet, but he's still…

"I-I—oh fuck, I'm—fuck, I-I'm—I'm—" he whimpers through his teeth. and he yelps, whole body shaking, bell jingling incessantly, when he comes all over your hand and stomach.

you take your hand off him immediately, and this time he does try to reach down, ride through it, but you grab both his wrists to stop him. he grinds down uselessly against your thigh and your dick. although you're still hard, and only a hairline trigger away from coming yourself, it doesn't stop you from keeping this brat in line. you only bite your lip and close your eyes.

he leans his forehead against yours, moving in to give you a kiss, but you push him away.

"did you never learn how to fucking count?" you growl.

he winces. "I-I-I-I'm…I'm sorry—"

you scowl at your hand, covered in come. "here, slut," you raise it up to his lips. "clean this off for me."

he tears up a little, but takes your fingers into his mouth all the same. pretty quickly, though, he spits them back out.

"it doesn't taste good…" he complains.

"oh? oh, it doesn't?" you mock. "but it felt good, when you came without my permission, like a cheap fucking whore."

a couple of tears spill over, roll down his cheeks, yet he says nothing, only moving back in to lap his come off your hand. you can see it in his expression that he's not very happy about it, but he doesn't protest further.

"is this good enough, sir?" he asks, when it seems that he's gotten it all. it looks clean enough, you agree. you grab him by the chin, hooking your thumb in his mouth. you don't even have to tell him to suck.

"you come without my approval again, and it's over. you can go back to playing minecraft—or what-the-fuck-ever—with your friends for your birthday. do you want to sleep on the couch, Georgie?"

if he wasn't crying before, he's definitely crying now. he doesn't shake his head, but he circles your fingertip with his tongue enthusiastically, as if to say, I'll be good, I'll be good this time, looking up at you doe-eyed.

"bend over for me," you demand. "across my lap."

he does so immediately. he slips a little bit while he's changing positions, you hear the bell ring, and he scrambles to correct himself. he settles with his ankles crossed and his head in his hands, propping himself up on his elbows. you feel a little bad, you admit, but you won't budge; he has a safeword, you trust that he'll use it.

"let's try that again," your tone softens. "I want you to count for me, okay?"

he nods.

you pull his panties to the side, pause briefly, and bring down your hand with a satisfying smack.

"ohhhhhh—" he moans, jolting a little. "—holy shit, did you just spank me?"

your stomach drops, you go to rub him gently where you just hit him. "is that okay—?"

"it's hot, it's so hot, fuck," he shifts in your lap. "um, sorry…one."

seriously, something about hearing him swear awakens something in you, every time. you're fired up. you spank him again.

"mmm—two…" is he…? "three…"

you pause to massage his ass again, and to speak. "you're…you're hard again, aren't you?"

you didn't even spank him yet, but he lets out a moan. "fuck, I—I just. I want you. I want this. so, so much."

you wonder if this is actually the same George who was fidgeting with his pillow in the dining room this morning.

"you're so bad, getting turned on by something like this," you tease. he only moans in response.

"four—five—six—seven…" he chokes out. "it's starting to sting…"

you take a break, kneading the skin where your angry red handprint is starting to take shape.

"eight…nine…but god, it hurts so good…" he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "ten…"

at ten, you linger for a moment, holding a handful of his ass. "does it?"

"yes—yesyesyes," he buries his face in the pillow, and shivers. "fuck, eleven…twelve…"

you pull his panties down to his knees, and switch sides. he lifts his hips up, so I can reach him better, you guess. you don't miss the telltale glint of a butt plug, but you'll get to that later.

"thirteen—fourteen—fifteen—sixteen," he moans between slaps. he's gripping the pillowcase so hard his knuckles are white.

in this new position, the way he jumps with every hit makes his cock brush against yours just right. fuck, you're still hard from earlier. this time you're the one who whimpers.

"seventeen, eighteen," he pauses, breathless. you pull gently on his leash, he arches his back and moans, "n-nineteen." his bell jingles.

he grinds down, just for a moment, and the friction is delicious. you're a little dizzy, you think you might've thrust back. you both sigh at the feeling.

"…t-twenty…see? I-I can count…I'm a good boy…I'm good for you…aren't I?"

"you are," you murmur, but you aren't sure he hears you. "you're so good…"

"twenty-one—twenty-two…I-I feel like I haven't done anything right today…twenty-three…"

"…George…?" you hear a muffled sob.

"twenty-four…" he mumbles.

"George?" you start to get concerned. he just keeps crying. "hey…" you whisper. you gently prompt him to turn him over; the pillow's a little wet. you pull the panties off all the way, and get him out of the bra, which had a little stray come on it. you help him sit up in your lap, and pull him into a hug.

"am I really just a whore…?" he asks brokenly.

"you've been so good for me, baby. you've done everything I've asked." you wipe his tears away with your thumb. "are you okay?"

"but I—" he coughs. "—I came too soon, I came without your permission…"

you kiss his hair, and hold him to your chest. "you've been so patient. I'm proud of you."

he finally wraps his arms around you. "I-I'm sorry."

"nonsense," you reassure. "your comfort takes priority. are you okay? color?"

"I…" he searches for the words. "I dunno. yellow? I…that hurt, I think. being…degraded?"

you comb through his hair with your fingers. "I understand. thank you for telling me. I love you."

—

you stay like that for a minute. you grab him a snack and a drink, but for the most part, you just enjoy each other's company, tangled-up together. you don't bother putting your clothes back on.

it's later in the evening. you're straddling him, peppering his shoulders with kisses, and he's giggling underneath you. he turns over to give you a short and sweet kiss.

"baby?" he says, looking expectantly.

"what is it?" you sit back on your heels.

he hesitates. "…I wanna keep going. from earlier."

you're serious again. "are you sure you're okay?" you grab his hand, bringing it up to kiss his fingertips. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm alright," he assures. "I remember you promising me an all-day thing, though."

you blush, a little surprised by his forwardness. "of course. I think…I…" you laugh. "I wanna fuck you."

"yeah?" he smiles, leaning up close. "show me how much."

you hold his jaw while you kiss him, biting his bottom lip between your teeth. he tastes like the coffee and cream you made him earlier. you feel his breath hitch. he reaches up to hold your shoulders.

you pull back. "hey, blow me first."

"what? why?" he giggled.

"it's been a couple hours, I'm not hard anymore," you coax. "I thought you liked taking orders?"

he cringed. "but come tastes gross!"

you slid off him and hopped off the bed, opening the drawer. "suit yourself. you get to watch me jack off, then."

"fine by me, I think you look good when you masturbate."

"ohhh, I forget, you're too blissed-out to pay attention to how I look when you're getting fucking owned."

"I am not!"

"you are too!" he sticks his tongue out at you.

you open the lid, pouring a little on your hand, a little on your cock. it's translucent pink, seems a little fragrant. you give yourself a couple of strokes with a sigh.

he's quiet for a second, then, shyly, "um…is that…strawberry flavored…?"

you bite your lip. "I thought you weren't gonna give me head?"

"I was just curious." it's a weak lie, but you say nothing.

your eyes are shut, but you can feel him moving around a bit on the bed, you hear his bell ring a couple times. you feel a hand on your thigh, so you decide to peek. and holy shit.

your partner's made his way to the floor, on his knees between your legs, holding his leash in his mouth, his fucking mouth, what the fuck. his thumb's rubbing circles on the inside of your thigh. the half-lidded look he's giving you should be criminal.

"you—I thought you said you wouldn't…" you can't find the words. you reach out and take the leash from his mouth. you see your hand shake in front of you.

"I'm just watching…" he whispers, looking up at you, mesmerized.

you're only able to get a couple of pumps in before he's joining you, hand over yours as you get yourself off. just the extra sensation of somebody else's touch is enough to make you bite back a moan.

"fuck—!" you jolt when he licks a stripe up the underside. he mouths over the head, jerking you off on his own now. you move to grip the sheets in one hand, his leash in the other. and you come without warning. you see it end up on his hand and your stomach before you shut your eyes tight.

he's quiet while you're coming down, just helping you ride it out, giving you kisses on your thighs. when you look back down at him, he's got two of his fingertips in his mouth, licking them clean. he stands up abruptly, it startles you a little. you see his bell ring. and he grabs you by the hips and leans down to your midriff.

"…I don't think I cleaned you off all the way earlier…" he breathes, and he starts to lap up the mess of his and your come that's been on you since this afternoon.

what the fuck. why is this so hot? why is he so hot? all too soon, your spent cock twitches in interest at your lover. he cups it with a hand, smiling against your tummy. you're so sensitive it hurts. you think you mean to say something, but nothing comes out.

"hmm…?" he bites his lip. "you still want some more?" all you can do is whine. at this point, you don't know if it's in protest or invitation.

you don't get the chance to find out either, because fuck, he's really going down on you now. you don't know what the fuck he's doing with his tongue, or where his gag reflex went, but at this rate you're gonna come again.

"George—George, baby, I—slow down, I-I'm—" you plead. his leash slips out of your hand, you tip your head back.

he swallows.

—

the last thing you remember is coming harder than you ever have in your life. you think you held him by his hair. you might've fucked his mouth a little. he's never let you come in his mouth before…fuck…

it's nighttime now. he's riding your thigh, got one of his legs slotted between yours. the friction between his knee and your overstimulated cock feels embarrassingly good. you're so dizzy, all you can articulate is a loud moan. you don't sound at all like you remember. his bell keeps ringing and ringing and ringing as he grinds against you.

he leans down, one arm holding your hip, the other keeping himself propped up. he bites your shoulder, hard, hard enough to bruise. he comes on both of your stomachs.

"George," you beg. you're losing your voice.

"mmmmmmsir," he slurs. "fuck me."

"George, I…" you don't know what you're saying. the end of your sentence turns into a whimper.

"you need me to get you hard again? you need me to rile you up?" he turns to kiss your jaw, feeling around for your dick. "like this?"

"George," you sound urgent, until he squeezes right around the head, and you forget what you were saying. you're pretty fucking close to forgetting who you are entirely.

he sits up on top of you, grinning. "love the way you say my name, sir."

that name. all it takes is the way he says that fucking name and you're ready to go again. you flip the two of you over, so that you're towering over him instead. "you still didn't. fucking. ask me. if you could come."

he giggles, a little crazed. he hooks his arms around his knees, hugging them to his chest.. "so what? so what? you gonna fuck me 'till I behave?"

"yes," you reach down, "I think I will." and you pull out the butt plug he (probably forgot he) had in all day.

"fuck—" he sobs. you watch his dick bob. precome drips into a pool on his stomach. "—green—green—so fucking green."

you're still sensitive from coming twice—you're pretty sure he is too. you lean down to give him a kiss, you moan into each other's mouths. he tastes like strawberries and his and your come. it is a little gross, you admit. but he's so tight and so fucking cute that you can't bring yourself to care. you part, and there's a line of salvia connecting the two of you.

"wait—" you say, but it comes out like a growl. "roll over."

he gets on his hands and knees, reaching back and spreading himself open for you. fuck.

you fuck him like that, holding the leash tight, loving the way he arches his back into the bed. the bell on his collar jingles incessantly.

you spank him, one last time.

"th-that's twenty-f-five—oh, fuck, sir," he growls, clinging on to the blankets for dear life.

you pin one of his hands in place and reach down to touch him. he starts laughing again.

"mmmmmmay I please come, sir? I—fuck—I'm so close, soclosesoclose," his breath stutters, you can hear the breaks in his voice. he buries his face in the blankets.

I'm close, you think, but the words don't make it out. "you're so good—you're so fucking good—come for me—fuck, come for me."

—

you're a mess. there's some drying solution of come and lube on your stomach. not to mention whatever the fuck's going on with your hair. your robe is discarded haphazardly on the floor. you think you've got a hickey, but you can't remember where.

actually, you're both a mess. he's also covered in come, sweat, and lube. he's got a red ring around his neck where you pulled him by the leash a little too hard. he's just covered in bruises. he clings to your arm, still fast asleep. you both passed out pretty quickly after…whatever that was, but you got back up a couple hours later. it doesn't look like he did, though.

actually, your whole bedroom is a mess. a blanket or two ended up discarded on the floor. there's an empty bottle of edible lube somewhere around here. your kitty lingerie set, still dirty, somehow ended up hanging in the closet. the first time you woke up you were both cuddling with a butt plug that you misplaced in the heat of the moment.

you don't think you've ever seen him like that. you can't even put it into words. you've never spanked him. he's never called you sir. you've never come in his mouth. he's never…begged for you like that before. you've never been so exhausted after coming that you both just, just fainted.

you feel lightheaded, and dead tired. you know you both must have gotten back up and gone at it at least a couple more times, but it's blurry, you can't remember. all you know is your vibrator's missing, and you feel…unusually empty, like you do the morning-after getting railed a little too hard.

last night…what the fuck happened last night?

you contemplate getting up, slipping your arm out of his embrace, pulling the covers back up around him, leaving to make breakfast. you're kind of disgusting, several hours after sex without cleaning up properly. you want to get yourselves some washcloths, maybe take shower together, or run him a bath. you know he's gotta be way more sore than you are.

you catch yourself staring, lost in thought; he just looks too cute when he's very clearly roughed up, but still sleeping soundly. and with the way he wanted…the way he needed you yesterday, you don't think he would want to wake up alone.

maybe it's okay if we sleep in a little longer.

you stroke his hair and whisper, "happy birthday, baby boy."

—

edited 14 March 2021

[jaefluenza]

A Roadtrip with a Stranger | J.jh

one important rule: do not fall in love 🍑

🔅 4,831k words

🔅 fluff, overseas student!characters and more fluff!!!

🔅 youtuber!jung jaehyun x reader

🔅 warning: i didn’t proofread this :(

Hey! It’s been so long since I write on this platform. I hope you guys still like my work cause I’ve been working hard to get the desire to write again. Things has been rough for me mentally that makes me kinda lost the feeling of writing. But I decide to write again, yay! Oh and this work was inspired by an admirable travel vlog by Valspire Family where he went on a roadtrip with a stranger. I’ll put the link to the video at the very end of this work. Hope you like it, and I’m sorry that it’s not gender-neutral but you can use your own imagine from this one i guess :) love y’all.

Jaehyun swam through his e-mails. Okay, no more AdSense pouring in... He wondered. It seems like he needs to create a new content. So, Jung Jaehyun right here is a travel youtuber, where he often travels from place to place, all by himself. He loves traveling. He did it even before he discovered a whole new thing called YouTube. Yeah, that time, he travels by the help of his parents. As an abroad student, he relied a lot on his parents back in their hometown. So he saved some money to travel from close places to places before he eventually wanted to travel overseas as well. Jaehyun learned that he can’t keep using his pocket money to travel forever, he needs to look for a better way.

So when his friends told him to start a YouTube channel, he didn’t even hesitate. As luck sides with him, he started to look through his old memory card where he put all of his videos and photos of his traveling journey. He was so glad that he kept all of them, even though he would reminisce on how he almost drop his camera on a cliff while doing a cheap vlog. Jaehyun uploaded the videos that he edited at 2 am, after doing the assignment he got from college. Such a model student, indeed... And guess what? People love him! His first video got 10,000 views and 167 comments about how he captured the moment beautifully. He even gained 450 new subscribers on his first day of being YouTuber.

Now, after two months of uploading his old local travel videos, he gained more than 23,000 subscribers and thousands and thousands of views, he finally gained independent money from all the ad-sense he received from his videos. So, he’s ready for a new level of adventure, of course, on his own. “Where would I go....?”

He dives through the mailbox again as he only looks randomly at the screen, and suddenly a notification pops up to his surprise. “Y/n (surname)?” He clicked the new e-mail right away, unbothered to look at the subject line first.

“Hey, do you want to go on a roadtrip with me, I guess? this my number, 0xxxxxxxxx text me 🤙”

“Holy shi-” Jaehyun almost cursed before he closes his mouth, shocked by the new thing he discovered on the Macbook screen. A stranger, asking him to go on a roadtrip? Wait, is this real? Well, it has been one of his goals to travel with a stranger, but when he actually goes through it, his head feels like falling into the floor.

He typed the number on the dial pad and add the new contact on his phone. He clicked the message app but before he’s even able to type what he’d want to say, his hand shakes in nervousness. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s talking to a stranger. He has several moments where he needs to ask some other students he doesn’t know because he has to finish the group project given, but this one feels so different. The thought of going with someone you don’t know if it’s a he or she, spending time with them in the coldness of the night, holding hands with them when you reach the top of an abandoned tower, or holding on an urge to kiss them when it gets too warm in the car... Well, Jaehyun is now thinking so hard when he doesn’t need to. “Okay, okay, let’s get this done. Ask her what’s up and you’re done,” He reassured himself.

“Hey, it’s me Jaehyun. I saw your mail. What’s up?” Sent.

“Okay, okay. That’s good, you did it. Now let’s just eat some chips before they actually reply-” A familiar notification pops up and he can’t push his head away from his phone anymore.

“Omg hi! That was such a fast response! Thank you so much for texting me, I’m such a fan! Uh anyway, i’m (y/n). I want to know if you’re interested to go to the national flower festival with me which is happening in 10 days and if we’re heading there by a van it will be a 4 days travel and we still have 5 days to prepare and tour around the city.”

“Fantastic. Sure. So when do we meet tho?”

“Tomorrow, I guess?”

“Sure. See ya!”

“So, what makes you so excited today, Mr. Jung? I’ve never seen you this cheerful around college since the first day of your youtuber life.” Johnny chirped at the young man. “I’ll be meeting someone new today,” he replied. Johnny rubbed his ears together to listen more carefully simply because he doesn’t believe that his friend’s gonna meet, possibly a new girl?

“I don’t know, john. They could be a he or a she. They only sent me a mail.”

Later that evening, Jaehyun finds himself waiting in the restaurant where she told him to meet up. He glanced at his watch as he waits patiently and he naturally feels like he’s going on a blind date. He holds himself not to order anything until the person’s arrived.

“Oh my god, it has been only 15 minutes but why do I start to feel like I’ve been scammed?” Almost a minute after he said that, a cheerful young lady walked towards his table and asked, “Jaehyun Jung, am I right?” Damn. This is real. “Uh yeah. Hi! Nice to finally meet you, (Y/n.)” He nervously reach out his hand for a shake and she gladly shakes his hand in return. 

“So, guess we now have to set some plan, do we?” Jaehyun said. Afterall, suggesting a plan making seems to be a meaningless idea because when the girl explained the route plan to the festival, he only got mesmerized, lost in her excited eyes. “Hey, are you listening?” Her gentle accent got him right back into his senses and he only laugh while scratching his nape awkwardly. “Woah, I can’t believe a famous travel youtuber like you aren’t that prepared for a kinda long roadtrip like this. Are you even experienced?” She teased him a smile.

“Hey, that’s mean,” he pouted. “I’m ready, more than ever, if you would know. But, well, this traveling with stranger thingy is kind of new to me so... bare with me, please?”

She smirked, “Hell yeah. It’s my first time, too.”

The two then decided to go buy the things they would need in the van. (Y/n) was the one to rent the van and it was decided when the two agreed that they can only afford an old small camper van fit for two people to sleep in the back seats. So they got almost everything such as blankets, sleeping bags, some little decorations to set the mood, and of course, some snacks and beverages. “I’m surprised that you hate redbulls.” Jaehyun teased the younger lady. 

“Dude, me being overly happy doesn’t mean that I drink redbulls... I only drink eight shots of coffee.”

“Damn, that makes sense, too,” he replied with a cheeky smile.

On the first day of a long drive through so many lonely highways, things weren’t going awkward, thank goodness. She comfortably talks to him like he’s an old friend, and he only replies with grins and smiles. It’s all good, until things got deeper as the sun emerges down the ground.

“Alright, let me set my other camera before we grab dinner.” Jaehyun shot up from his camping chair to the van after he set the campfire to warm them both. “Sure, indie boy.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“But you are.. an indie boy.”

“Okay, you won’t stop calling me that, huh?”

(Y/n) put her hand under her chin, looking blankly at the fire, reflecting so hard about how she actually starts to enjoy this trip, when she only meet him yesterday. “Hey, what makes you look so serious like that?” The man sat back on his chair after he successfully brought her back into her senses real quick. 

“Nuh-uh, do you really want me to think out loud?” “Oh, no thanks. Now I regret for worrying.” She chuckled lightly. 

“You know what, when I told you that I’m a fan of your channel, I really meant it. I’ve been a subscriber since you only have, uhm, from what I remember, 242 subscribers, I guess? And fun fact, I’m actually in the same major as you but you won’t notice me, anyway. I’m too quiet.” Jaehyun nearly drop his foldable cup when he heard that. “What? Seriously? You’re in the same college- no, same major as me? How could I- Oh don’t worry, I also am way too quiet for my own being. I don’t really make a lot of friends at college. No one really knows who I am if it’s not for my public channel.”

“I can see that you have such a nice personality. I always love how you expressed your hidden feelings through your vlogs. They’re beautiful.”

“Is that a way to say that I’m pretty?” He winked. “Oh come on, (Y/n). Just diss me like you’ve been doing for the past two days of us knowing each other better.” Again, she laughs.

“Do you know what’s the coolest thing ever in this trip?” She asked. “What is it?”

“It is how I made one significant rule in this trip, that is... to not fall in love with each other.” And somehow, Jaehyun lost his smile for awhile. “Oh, really? Well, it’s not quite hard,” he faked a smirk. “You’re mean.”

“Huh, actually, what makes you think that?” He asked sheepishly. He doesn’t want her to catch what’s happening, like how he actually doesn’t really agree with the ‘significant’ rule. “I don’t know. It’s just, my actual purpose of this trip was just to... you know, gain a friend. And that friend turns out to be you! And falling in love means you’re going to lose someone at the end and I hate to lose a friend I just gained from this trip.”

“Ah... that makes sense. But love doesn’t always goes into an end, Y/n.”

“It does,” she smiled with a visible hint of pain, and Jaehyun hates that. “I had the experience. I’m not trying to act like a sad bitch or something, but falling in love sucks. It means you’re ready for a freaking goodbye and farewell.”

He was going to say something but she cuts him up by getting off her chair, possibly ready to cook instant ramen for dinner. “Alright, my stomach’s grumbling. I’m boiling the water, and you, mister, help me open up the packs, please?” And when he looked at her pair of watery eyes, he decided not to say something and replied with a smile. “Yes, maam.”

The night gets colder and now both the youngsters are heading to bed– the back uncovered seats in the van. “So, this is where we’re going to sleep. As you can see, (Y/n) over here is alread inside her sleeping bag. This is going to be such a great sleepover, I guess?” He snickered. “Don’t lie, Jung. I’m gonna put a bug inside your bag tonight when you’re asleep.”

He turned the camera off and lay down beside her sleeping bag, dropping more blankets around him to cover his body better. “This is our first sleep, you know?”

“That’s true. We might wake up like dead.” She said something gibberish after that along with a yawn. “It’s getting hot in here.” She added. (Y/n) wriggled out of her sleeping bag to get more cool air but Jaehyun only looked at her with a weird look. “I’m curling my body into a ball like a caterpillar and you said it’s getting hotter? You’re unbelievable.”

“You clearly haven’t found yourself getting stuck in a snowstorm in Everest, have you?” “I am not that experienced yet. Have you either?” “Nah, I would die.” “Gosh.”

Jaehyun keeps his glances trained at the younger lady, wanting so much to feel the warmth of her body next to him, to warm him- or maybe each other. “Are you sure you’re not cold?” He asked. “Yeah, I’m getting comfortable- not really, actually. Urgh, what am I talking about...”

He chuckled. “Come here. There’s only both of us here, so practically, I am your heater. Besides, it kinda sucks that we cannot afford a van that has a cool heater inside. Uhm.. what I mean is.. do you want to cuddle?”

(Y/n) turned her body to face him. She actually shifted closer but Jaehyun caught the signs that she actually doesn’t want to show her consent. “Come here,” he said gently. “B-but, what about the rule?”

“Cutie, we cuddling doesn’t mean that we’re falling in love. We only need warmth.” Jaehyun put his arm around her without hesitance and she accepted his secure arms. She found herself getting sleepier than ever and now the screen in her sight went black. Jaehyun smiled at the peaceful sight, and he carressed her cheeks gently, not wanting to wake her up, as he says, “Now I’m actually glad that we get this non-heater van. I can become your warmth everytime.” That night, he slept with a smile plestered on his face.

The sun rises on sight better than yesterday as it prisms over the medium-sized windows of the van and light starts to fill in the narrow space, replacing the coldness. She wakes up first, feeling the ray hits her face warmly. Oh my, it’s already morning...

As cliche as it looks like, when she wants to get up she could feel a pair of strong arms securing themselves around her body. Well, she’s not that stupid to not realize who’s the owner, the only guy she has been with over the past few days. She wanted to wriggle out of his arms, but her brain failed to command her body when the heart does what it wants. And it gets what it wants.

(Y/n) feels something different when she’s about two centimeters away from his face, and it surely feels so different when it comes to only seeing him through her iPad screen. But she doesn’t get it. Why is he... so gorgeous? She was about to stare longer but then he opens his eyes beautifully. “Why are you staring at me?” She flinched, not because she was shocked when he woke up, well actually that’s one of the reason, but, actually, because of his raspy morning voice. They sound kind of.. angelic.

“Wake up, let’s see the sunrise.” She finally wriggles out of his arms and goes to open the door. The cool breeze started to hit her lightly, almost makes her flying aesthetically, as she wished that she could wake up breathing this kind of air every morning. “Well, I didn’t know the sun could look this pretty, and we paid for nothing at all.” Jaehyun stood behind her while doing some stretches because his arms were stuck cuddling her last night, not something he could complain about, though.

“Get your camera out, bud. This will definitely get you hundred thousands of view, I’m sure.”

They ended up playing under the warming sun around the van, the camera only watching them. It feels like they are owning the world and she feels so wonderful. She feels so blessed, and it amazes her that she could have this happening with a complete stranger, a young man that starts to fill in her empty insides. She was reassured that impossible things could happen.

“So where are we heading now?” Jaehyun put the camera on the dashboard while he stole a glance at the driver besides him. “We’re passing a small city near here and we’re gonna walk around to see if there’s anything fun to visit.” (Y/n) was so glad that she’s the one driving, otherwise she wouldn’t have any other reason for not looking back at his eyes.

“Or maybe we can just rely on Google.” Jaehyun added. “Nah, that’s just not fun. We still have 14 hours of free times before we have to catch up to the festival.”

“So, yeap. I think we’re being super rebellious right now, slowing down our trip, or maybe (Y/n) right here loves to stay longer with me- Ouch!”

They drove past the yellowish trees and even though it’s in the middle of the day when the sun’s supposed to be up right above the van, the yellowish sky around them doesn’t support the cool breeze Jaehyun feels whenever he put his hand out of the window.

“Okay, I’m trying to wake myself up! Ready?” Jaehyun chuckled before he wobbles his head lightly, preparing himself to press the play button. The girl nodded excitedly, trying a little bit hard to not get so excited because she’s driving. Jaehyun pressed the button and the rock and roll song starts to fill in the car. She laughed at how he vibes so hard to the song, and honestly, she never had anything like this. Chilling past the long highway with yellow trees and the hidden sun makes the whole day so calming. She truly feels so blessed.

“Hey, look!” Jaehyun pointed at a petite tea shop across the street when they both walked around the small city to take a break. The little shop looks very nice with a cute vintage look interior which is visible from the outside. “Do you want to have some tea, like the british?”

“Nah, we should just take some pictures there. I’m going to go get redbulls.” “Seriously?”

After nearly four hours of driving, the both of them finally comes to the hours of the sunset. They pulled over and set the camera to the angle where they can get better view of them chilling under the sunset, or maybe just playing around the van like they did in the morning.

“You know what, I think it’s gonna be pretty cool if we climbed on top of the car and pose to get some footages?” Jaehyun suggested. “Are you crazy? We can’t scratch the car, otherwise we will get charged,” she argued.

“Nah, who the hell cares? It’s not like they will bother themselves by checking all over the car. Come on, I’m gonna go first.” Jaehyun climbed through the back of the van and she only laughed as a response. Sometimes, he’s unbearable.

“Okay, you should climb up now.” Jaehyun reached out both of his hands to help her get to the top of the van, and when she did, she didn’t regret doing his suggestions at all cause, the view is so goddamn pretty. “Woah,” she murmured. They both sat down and try to enjoy the view despite the less time that they have right now.

“What made you want to go on a roadtrip with a stranger?” Jaehyun asked. “Um, I’ve taken a semester off this year, and I don’t really have any friends at the moment to spend time with, so... decided I could go out and gain some randomly.” She chuckled bitterly. “I wanted to do something fun. I wanted to go on a roadtrip, but that’s not very fun alone. So I was like, who is the most spontaneous person I can think of... and so I asked you.”

Jaehyun laughed with his whole heart. “It’s really crazy.” His dimples are showing through and she swears, they are driving her crazy. “And you followed through!”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” “I know!”

Jaehyun encouraged himself to look at her, this time with deeply moved eyes, and he now realizes that he really admires her young and free figure. “So, are we friends now?” She asked.

When she turned at him, there she goes, with those pair of eyes, looking through his eyes in return. Jaehyun flinched, shocked by how mesmerized he is by her every movement. Like how her hair moves along with the evening breeze, and how her eyelids stutter beautifully, also how her lips turned into a little smile when she opened her mouth. And he smiled back, “Yes, we are.”

Three days have passed and now they are gonna arrive at the city which is the final destination where the national flower festival will be held, how amazing is that. They visited random cities while taking a break, grabbing lunch at a motel in the middle of nowhere, and stopping by at midnight just to lay down on the empty big road to see the stars. 

As strangers, both of them have been going through a lot of things together, only in a few days. Though the ‘significant’ rule was not so forgotten throughout the trip, they can’t help but feel flattered by each other. The young man, who has been broken inside, admitted deeply inside that she had never experienced anything like what she has been doing with the complete stranger, and neither does the young man. 

Jaehyun knows that she is straight up serious about what she said. It was that one significant rule that keeps him held back, to not fall in love with each other. It kinds of frustrating him that he couldn’t touch her like his brain told him to. He respected her without a doubt, and breaking or hurting her would be the least thing he ever wanted during this trip.

The most ironic thing Jaehyun has ever think of is, how his main goal of this trip was to gain a friend. Now he doesn’t want to be just friends. He wishes for more than that. He fell in love with her.

“I can’t believe it! We’re almost there! I can’t wait to see all the beautiful flowers!” She holds the camera up to his face as he drives to the final destination in the city. “Do you really like flowers that much?” He asked.

“Yeah, they’re beautiful, calming, and entertaining. Whenever I pick one, I always got reminded that wherever you are and whatever you’re being, you can still look pretty and graceful. I mean, sometimes people step on some petite flowers on the street but that doesn’t mean they’ll look uglier and unworthy.”

“That’s true. I mean, look at you, still shining even though your surroundings are dark.” He instinctively moved his fingers to the side of her face, gently brushing her hair aside and she only stuttered nervously.

“Jaehyun,” she faintly murmured. “Okay okay, I know that you have made the one significant rule in this trip and I want you to know how much I respect you for that. I’m also very glad that I’m able to gain a friend like you but... during this trip,” he sighed. “I can’t help but think about you... more than I think I should do.”

She keeps her mouth close, not knowing how to respond to the sudden confession. It’s not like she didn’t expect this to happen, anyway. When it comes to the first time she saw him at the cafe, her insides turn upside down. However she kept it in her heart that she signed up for this not to look for a boyfriend or someone to sleep with, but a friend.

“What if I do the same too?” She replied with her consciousness. With that one sentence, Jaehyun steps on the brake so hard that their things in the back almost sprung themselves to the front and (Y/n) cursed. “What the heck, are you trying to get us dead?!”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly before pulling over in the middle of the long road. “Gosh, what did you say earlier?”

“I said, are you trying to get us dead?”

“No, the other one before that,” he pleaded.

“Huh? W-what if I do the same too?” She tilts her head.

“So you’re saying... that you like me too? No, that’s too soon. Are you thinking of me too?”

She can’t help but chuckle when she saw his eyes grew big with excitement and... a little bit of expectation. “Yeah,” she replied. There’s a long silence after that and doubt starts to grow inside her heart but then... “So, can I?”

“What-”

He immediately attached his lips to hers, heart pounding so hard that it feels like he’s going to die because of the thrill. For the girl, his lips taste like... excitement? Happiness, and perhaps love?

A few people that she thought would give her sunshine and happiness actually have never been anything like this. She’s actually glad that his kiss made her close her eyes to the feel. No matter how much she keeps saying it, never in a way that it gets her bored to say no one has ever made her experience something like this. Kissing in the middle of nowhere, under the burning rays of sun, nothing other than the camera witnessing what’s happening between the two of them and it really, really feels like they are owning the world.

Nice. Now they’re in a motel near the festival as tomorrow is the exact time they would open the gate to all the flowers collected from all over the world. (Y/n) loves flower so much that she decided to check into a motel that has a flower pattern on its wall.

“You can’t just choose this one just because they have a flower pattern on the room’s wall! The review is just so-so!” Jaehyun complained.

“Hey, didn’t you say that wherever I go, you’ll go, and wherever I’ll be, you’ll be?”

“But I won’t be at the same place as you if it’s not guaranteed that they don’t have any bugs at all.”

Booking a room for two which has a twin bed, both of them entered the room, though Jaehyun had to insist to book a room with a queen bed, but failed miserably.

“I’m going to shower first.” (Y/n) goes to prepare her bathing kit and of course, her clothes. “Yeah, sure.”

While she showers, the man wondered if he should officially ask her out, since she said she’s gonna transfer schools soon which means that he might not seeing her again after the roadtrip so maybe an official relationship will make it easier for him to contact her often.

“Should I really do it, like, tonight? I don’t think I should,” he kept the promise ring he bought yesterday at a little jewelry shop when they stopped for a restroom break. 

Before they went to sleep, they spare some time to get a little cute footage for Jaehyun’s travel vlog. “So this is my bed, and that one’s (Y/n)’s bed. I chose this one because it’s quite far from the bathroom since I hate bugs. But you know, I don’t really trust her with keeping me from bugs and- Okay! Okay! I’m sorry don’t hit me with the pillow!”

“Pffftt! Pillow fight!!”

“No! Don’t- my camera!”

A goddamn eyecontact. Hands tangled against each other, eyes both stuttered in shock, as the girl with the pillow accidentaly fell on him. Jaehyun’s free hand instinctively hold her to prevent her from getting hurt, though his brain listens better to his heart, as he feels his heart pounding like crazy against her body.

“I’m... sorry.” “That’s okay.”

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He asked, and later that night, the idea of booking a twin bed room seemed to be a meaningless idea, either.

“So everyone, here we are today aaat... not the exact final location we wanted to go to at the first place, let me tell you the story. When we checked out from the flower pattern motel we immediately leave to the national flower festival which was supposed to be held just 15 kilometers from where we stayed the other night, aaaand guess what?” he paused and you can hear her faint laugh in the background. “Yeah, there is no festival at all. HAHAHAHHAHAAA- Ouch stop hitting me! Are you that embarrassed?”

“That was what happened, everyone. It turned out that the festival was held at December 16, 2019 and before we started this roadtrip, she read only the date and the month, wow. How can you be so cute and stupid at the same time... I am sooo mad!”

“Well, they put the year 2019 sooo small and my minus eyes couldn’t see it- stop giving me that look!”

“Okay, so because miss (Y/n) over here was quite angry that-” “Really angry.” “Okay, she was really really angry for not being able to see the flowers so, I decided to take her to somewhere as an alternative destination. Am I being too good for you?”

“Yes, you are,” she replied with a smile. “Stop paying attention to the flowers! I’m also here, yo,” he pleaded, somehow nervously. “Why-”

“And this is why I kept insisting to take you to a place with lots of flowers... to pick one among all the pretty petals out here, the prettiest petal I’ve ever seen. So, be mine, please?”

the end of video.

a/n: thank you for reading. honestly, I didn’t know whether to post this one cause it’s really been a long time since I write and it really worried me about how much you guys will like it... also, i’m really really sorry for those who put a request into my ask box since I haven’t completed all of them, like trust me, it worries me every single day bcs I feel like I have a debt to pay lol but don’t worry, I promise you I will complete all the requests but please give me a lot of time! once again, big thanks from me.xoxo

Valspire Family - I Went on a Roadtrip with a Stranger

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[numptypylon]

Hey, so uh, your writing is god-tier and I was wondering if you has any tips for self-editing? Because it's not my strong suit and I would love to improve it in any way I can. I see your work and find no flaws, so I thought you might be a good person to ask.

Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear you think so highly of my writing, I DEFINITELY don't often do that myself, haha!

A warning that my editing process is pretty chaotic (stop reading here if you don't want to know how the sausages are made XD), and if it sounds nuts, maybe it won't work for you and that's okay! Everyone works differently.

I write very rough first drafts, because I brainstorm and write simultaneously, letting the story grow in the writing of it, letting the characters 'talk' and seeing where it goes. So I frequently have a real mess to work with come editing time, disjointed and missing pieces and transitions. But at that point, I SHOULD have a good idea of what the chapter should look like in the end, but I frequently move things around and restructure the chapter during multiple rounds of edits.

What I pay most attention to in editing depends on the story, it's what's important to the given chapter. Do I strike the tone I want or is my grade school au getting too angsty (yes, is inevitably the answer to that XD)? Is everyone sounding in-character? Do I hit the character beats I want to hit in the chapter? Do I impart the information I need to impart for the future story? Etc. etc., depending on the story. Identifying issues you want to fix or things you want to expand on, gives you an objective, in editing, which makes it easier for me. If a chapter isn't working for you, it's easier to fix that if you know why.

Once I'm at an almost finished stage, where nothing major is missing and the structure is how I want it, I do a final round of tightening up + proofreading.

I leave coded notes for myself in my wip docs, for editing purposes.

[Square brackets contain a brief description of a missing scene or transition]

Red text needs fixing.

Blue text is a tangent I may or may not use

Sub-headers denote key points or places I've been stumped in chapters so I can find them quickly when the inspiration strikes

It's not that unusual for me to have a chapter double in editing, because my roughs are so rough, so there's a good amount of overlap for me personally, between editing and writing. But editing-writing (with a purpose) is different to me than first-draft-writing (exploring and trying to discover the story/theme).

Kill your darlings is a clichee, but it's true. Sometimes a line or a section will be amazing but not fit the chapter or the character. So it needs to go and it feels freeing to be rid of it and not try to fit the rest of the chapter around it. Just don't DELETE your darlings! I put all offcuts into their own reject pile 'chapter', and I might repurpose them later.

Make sure you're not SCARED to change things in editing. I always copy the chapter I'm currently editing to a separate doc, so I can be destructive and then backtrack if I regret it. I don't even know if I HAVE ever regretted it, but my brain needs to know it's working on a copy, I'm more efficient and less timid, like that.

The thing with editing is that everyone's brains works differently. Not every process will work for everyone. My editing process works for me, but I know other writers who produce super polished works who barely edit at all, or edit as they go, during writing.

Feel free to ask more specific questions, if you have them!