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setoangel01-fanfiction · 2 years ago

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To You, I Will Always Return

Fandom: Final Fantasy 16, Final Fantasy XVI

Pairing: Clive Rosfield x Jill Warrick

Rated: T

Story Summary: Thinking all was lost, Jill wept. The world had been saved, but at what cost? What good was a world if Clive wasn't in it to share it with her? …But even as Metia's red light flickered out, the sun still rose the next morning, bringing a shining light back into her darkened world.

....

MAJOR SPOILERS for the ending of FF16! Stop reading now if you haven't finished the game!

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The agony was unbearable.

Akin to a festering open wound on her chest that had her heart locked in a vice grip. The grief of it all had her gasping for air, choking for oxygen amidst the myriad of uncontrollable sobs she poured out into Torgal's warm fur.

No…

It couldn't be.

…Clive couldn't be gone…

Yet as she witnessed Metia's star fade completely from the sky, it was as if her heart was ripped completely out of her chest. All the hopes and dreams she threatened to picture spent at his side all turned to nothing but ashes scattering amongst the slightest breeze. The dark bearing clouds that plagued the sky faded and dissipated before their eyes, the world had been restored and renewed…

But it didn't matter.

Nothing did, for she had lost him again…

This time for good.

A crescendo of grief overtook her body, shaking uncontrollably as her legs finally collapsed underneath the sheer magnitude of her intolerable grief.

"C-CLIVE!" Jill sobbed brokenly into Torgal's furry neck. The sound muffled little of the echoes of her shattered voice amidst the throngs of silent people witnessing her heart's destruction. Lost in a chasm of darkness, the lack of her light, the truest of friends and only true love she'd ever known…

It was insufferable.

Jill's fingers fisted into Torgal's fur, pulling the large wolf against her chest and allowing her howls to join his own. Visceral, broken, like her very soul was being wretched from her body to join his wherever he went.

The wolf's howls soon tapered off into a soft whine, whimpering as he nuzzled his face against her hair in commiseration of their shared misery. And with such precious little left of her heart, she held the last piece tight against her chest, feeling as if she'd let him go, she'd shatter into a million pieces.

…Torgal was all she truly had left now…

The gaping hole underneath her sternum where Clive's light resided felt as cold as Shiva's Diamond Dust. The other half of her soul vanquished as if it had never been there. This chasm of black, of nothingness, where there once remained so much light, happiness and absolute love had been extinguished as Metia went dark.

No...

It was not supposed to end this way…

Closing her eyes, two more tears joined the many salty warm tracks lining her ruddy cheeks. In the serene darkness behind her eyelids, she once again watched the moment Clive had said his goodbyes. Warm heavy hands upon her shoulders, his confession of love, his sweet kiss and that wonderful hug she that never wanted to pull away from. His warmth, his smile, his smell, the taste of his mouth that still lingered faintly on her tongue…

…Never would she experience them again…

Clive was gone - he was dead…

Oh Founder, how could this happen?

Lost in agony, the despair so visceral she was almost numb. The pain of his loss far exceeding any physical wound or emotional trauma she'd ever sustained. Clive had been her world ever since she was a child. All her aspiring hopes and lofty dreams lay nestled within in those dark blue eyes and loving arms. Losing him those egregious 13 years was absolute hell. Yet as he walked back in her life, it was like the sun out came from behind the clouds, shining on her face and she was finally able to bask in his radiant light…

But not anymore…

Even if their world was saved - hers was over.

For a world without Clive Rosfield in it was not a world she wanted to live in…

Clive had given his all, his everything. Had fought, sweat and bled tirelessly to save those who didn't even want to save themselves. He worked his fingers to the bone to finish the work his father and Cid had started. To give everyone, Bearers and Non-Bearers, Princes and Paupers alike, something precious few ever had in life - a choice. A choice to live and die how one wanted. To do more with their existence than merely scrape by to survive til the next passing day…

Clive fought for true freedom and he won.

Yet the cost to gain this freedom was far too steep.

It was Clive who paid the ultimate price. He fought for them all, yet who was supposed to save him? Giving him Shiva, all the other Eikons and their seemingly limitless power joining Ifrit's chosen…and it still wasn't enough to bring Clive, Joshua nor Dion home safely…

It wasn't fair!

Not one bit…

But then again, when has life ever been fair for them?

With nothing left to do - Jill wept.

Cold bitter tears that stung her flesh as even her Eikon Shiva's power began fading much like the others - along with the crystal that shattered in the sky - taking her heart along with it.

Clive had made a promise to her. He promised that he would always return to her. In turn, she made him a promise that she would always be waiting for him no matter how long it took…

...This was the first promise he'd ever broken.

Yet as she pressed her face into her last remaining tie to the past, Jill swore she would keep hers. Fruitless as it may be. She would wait for him until her dying day, she'd wait forever if only to see his face once more at the end of it all.

"…Oh, Clive…" she whimpered his precious name into Torgal's fur. Hands weakly shaking as they clung to the final piece of their shared past, of the future that was free from the crystals and their magic that now felt so utterly bleak. She told Clive before he left that she would only cry when the clouds disappeared and the sun returned. So she did just that.

Openly, she sobbed. Rivers of tears soaking into Torgal's pelt as the wolf howled and whimpered in obvious grief. Time seemed inconsequential in those moments. So numb and utterly broken, shattered with no hope of repair; as if a stray wisp of wind would shatter what remained of her soul.

"Why? …Why did you have to go? W-Why, oh why didn't I go with you or make you stay?" she sobbed brokenly into Torgal's throat. So many questions with answers that would never come.

All her dreams, all the new memories she'd wish to make with him were nothing more than dust and ashes. A future she was unsure of but the only certain thing she'd wanted was him always beside her…

Torgal suddenly tensed against her. His haunches rising and Jill was shaking as she pulled her face from the divot of salt water and snot she'd pressed into his fur. As if in a trance, her crystalline eyes opened and her heart ached fiercely when upon opening her eyes, she was met with the sunrise.

"No matter how dark the night, the dawn will always rise…"

Those words she spoke felt so paltry in the face of her grief now. For what was a sunrise without Clive to greet the new day with her? To wake up next to him with his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. So many mornings she left him snoozing in their warm sheets while she left to grab a quick cup of coffee or tea to share. Her laughter tickling her lips upon returning to the room to witness Clive fruitlessly trying to tame his sleep-ruffled hair. Without all the leather, metal and armor, he looked so unbearably soft in the dawning light. Cobalt eyes sleepy and hands warm as he greeted her with a tender smile, pulling her in for a hug and kiss every single sunrise. Those precious few times they were able to quietly make love before anyone would be knocking at his door would do nothing but haunt her now.

The room they shared would remain as a memorial; his tomb. Four walls only serving as a painful reminder of everything, and everyone, she had lost.

Clive and Jill would share no more mornings on the deck or her sipping wine as he chugged lager late into the evening. No playful sparring matches with either their swords or elements in the afternoons nor shared kisses in the gardens they'd come across in their travels. There would be no more new adventures awaiting them on the horizon nor stories from their childhood to reminisce about as they grew older or to one day tell their children and grandchildren…

Jill's lips trembled as more tears felt like molten lava down her cheeks and quivering jaw.

All she had left of Clive were mere memories now. Such precious few moments that would fade in time until she would hardly remember what his face looked like or the timbre of his calming voice. With time, her mind would forget the sensation of being able to witness his radiant warmth of his smile or laughter. Never again experience the greatest love she'd ever known.

It was gone.

The brightest light she'd ever known snuffed out as easily as a small flame upon a frayed candle wick.

...Clive was never coming home…

"RUFF!" Torgal barked loudly and Jill backed up as the frost wolf shook her arms free. Her trembling fingers fell from his fur as she could do little more than flail as she fell onto her rear as she lost her grasp.

"Torgal?" she whimpered. "W-What is it, boy?"

It was only that moment when she realized everyone in the Hideaway was speaking, some even yelling. A cacophony of noise that her grief had been blocking out. Jill's heart pounded in sudden fear, with the final crystal gone didn't mean safely. All too aware of the increasing possibility of an invasion here at the Hideaway, especially now that Clive wasn't here to protect them...

A calm swept over her unlike any she'd felt before.

No.

Clive died to save the world, to save this place, and she would rather join him in death than let anyone tear down all he had worked tirelessly to build. Clive's sacrifice would not be in vain, for she would do everything in her power to make sure the home and life they built together would survive til the next sunrise.

Jill's tears instantly quelled for those could wait until after it was all over.

Knees shaking, Jill stood to her numb feet. Reaching down, she grasped her sword that lay discarded at her side, ready and willing to face whatever hell was coming to their shores. Jill wiped the tears from her blurry vision before peering quickly at the horizon. Silently awaiting a hoard of sea-faring monsters or that damned god Ultima taking whatever precious remained to her in this realm.

Icy blue eyes remained steadfast out for movement on the ocean's edge to see what fate had in store for them when she heard Gav suddenly bellow out in a broken sob, "C-C-CLIVE! IT'S CLIVE!"

A full body shiver went through her body as she looked at the man, the eyeglass contraption Mid made falling from his hands and she followed where his trembling finger was pointed.

Jill's sword made a harsh clank as it hit the wooden deck and she ran.

Never in her entire life had she'd run so fast before. Heart throbbed and pounded against her sternum as the dawning light scattered across the shape of the boat slowly drawing towards their man-made shores. Old Man Obolus was standing near the moor and he didn't even say a single word to stop her as she untied his beloved boat from the dock. Torgal and Gav like fire chasing her heels as they jumped into the boat beside her.

Without even speaking a word, Jill and Gav gathered an oar each, both in complete sync as they quickly paddled toward the figure on the horizon like hell himself was on their helm. Jill wasn't even aware she was crying again until she had to choke back another sob. Gav wasn't faring much better, the two sharing such grief and loss that this shining hope seemed far too good to be true. The hope she was certain had been extinguished was a flickering candle flame that grew into an inferno as the man shadowed by the bright light of the sun grew ever closer.

Torgal was barking something fierce, the wolf looked ready to jump and swim the rest of the way if need be.

Jill shared the sentiment.

"Could it really be him?" Gav spoke next to her, his only remaining eye overflowing with equal portions of grief and hope. "I'm not just seeing what I wish to see. Am I, Jill?" A sob left his mouth, his eye growing hazy with so many conflicting emotions. All the years sharing nights and drinks. His encouragement. The fact Clive called him his brother... The baby boy Edde delivered named "Clive 'Cid' Dominique" in their infirmary was a testament to the effect Clive had on them all.

"I don't know..." Jill gasped.

Only moments before, they were both so certain that Clive's story was over. His chapter was done and now they would have to go on and pick up his mantle. To live the legacy he left behind yet as the figure became clearer and clearer, it appeared his story had still to be finished.

It was really him…

"CLIVE!" Jill wailed out his name, throat aching against the sob that leeched out her throat as she let go of the paddle and ran to the stern. She nearly tripped at the sudden jar to the left before Gav quickly took both oars in his hands to put them back on course.

He drew ever nearer and this close she saw Clive was only rowing with one hand while the other oar was tied to his forearm with a cloth. Suddenly worried he was horribly injured, Jill gathered whatever power over ice she still retained and used it to push them closer to Clive's boat. Heart hammering as his blurry features cleared into that face she loved so much - one she swore she'd never see again.

Clive looked towards the both of them, the softest smile gracing his face as he let go of the paddle to wave at them.

Jill couldn't wait any longer.

No further hesitation, Jill leaped out of the boat, her feet causing small patches of ice to form as she bolted the small distance to him. As she got within only a few arms length away, Jill stumbled. Leather boots, pants and the bottom of her dress sinking into the saltwater before she found herself suddenly in the most wonderful place in the world - right into Clive's arms waiting arms.

Jill fell apart. "Clive…" she screamed his name into his skin, "Oh, my love. I- I thought you were…" she couldn't finish.

Tears she swore had run out streamed in currents down her face as she wrapped her arms across his shoulders and wept into his chest, Trembling hands placed between his shoulder blades as she memorized the sensation of his beautiful heartbeat against her palms. The proof that Clive was here - he was alive. Sweaty, filthy and bleeding, but he was alive…

So wonderfully alive.

"Jill, oh, milady. I missed you…" his voice was sweeter than the most talented choir as he held her close. The smell of sweat, leather, blood and sea salt leeching heavily from him - she never smelt anything so wonderful.

Torgal barked, the large wolf jumping into their boat, rocking them back and forth and soaking them with sea salt water droplets from his fur and his flurry of slobber as his tongue lapped furiously at Clive's bearded face.

Jill's sobs became tearful laughter at his nauseated expression that melted so quickly into fondness as he pulled the sopping wet dog into their hug. In her peripheral vision, she saw Gav finally approach and park next to Clive's vessel, the tears leaking down his good eye didn't deter from the smile on his face as Clive reached towards him and pulled him into their group embrace.

The few minutes of pure utter relief and bliss didn't last long though.

"Wait… W-Where's Joshua and Dion?" Gav's sudden question was like being plunged into a bath of ice water.

As if realizing his brother nor the Prince had returned with him, the small smile that had taken refuge on Clive's face suddenly faltered and fell. An anguish so deep overtook those cobalt depths as tears welled and finally slipped down his scarred face.

Instead of a verbal answer, Clive merely shook his head in grief and absolute misery. His lower lip trembled as his eyes slipped down to his feet and it was obvious by his expression alone what had taken place.

The sudden euphoria at having Clive back in her arms suddenly felt soured for Joshua and Dion deserved just as much as a happy ending as the rest of them…

It was in those few moments of silence when Jill suddenly noticed the strange parlor of Clive's left hand. Shivered upon seeing the bone white skin and stiffness like stone. The curse of a Bearer, a Dominant, of magick leaving another form of its wretchedness upon Clive's skin.

"Oh, Founder, no…" she whimpered, hand reaching out to touch the hardened hand. Squeezing the unforgiving flesh between her fingers in the hopes that this wasn't happening. If Clive returned only to be taken by the dreaded curse…

"Don't worry. It's only the hand…" Clive explained. Tears still leaking down his face, Clive smiled at her and Gav. Showcasing the grief that lay in those weary eyes, he still continued to smile. "It won't spread. I promise."

"But, how, what…" Gav's words tapered off as Clive pressed his only working hand on Gav's shoulder and squeezed.

Clive's eyes flickered out into the waters, to the sky where the crystal once resided but was now gone, "Dion sacrificed himself. He bravely kept Ultima occupied while Joshua and I escaped to the inner crystal. The Prince died a hero's death to save us. And J-Joshua… He - Joshua saved me… I was nearly dead but he used whatever power remained in him…so in turn that I could fight for us all." Clive whispered and all Jill could do was rub his back as his breath hitched and his words faltered. "They were both so brave. A-After Ultima fell, I… I was certain I would follow them in death. To destroy the crystal once and for all, I had to absorb Ultima to obliterate what was left of the magick."

"Fuck…" Gav gasped.

"I… I was so sure that I was dead, or dying. All I remember was light before I somehow washed up on the beach. Hand turned stiff from the curse, I could do little other than merely lay there on the sand. Waves lapping at my feet when I found myself looking at the moon…and at Metia…" Clive's cobalt eyes found her icy blue, "I was asking you if you could see it too… Then I closed my eyes, fully expecting to never open them again…"

Jill's lip trembled, "Oh Clive…" she whimpered, trembling as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek and soft sweet mouth before pressing her forehead to his and shaking against his fragile strength.

Torgal whined softly, his head buried in Clive's lap as he nuzzled his body fully between Clive's legs.

Gav reached over and pressed his forehead to Clive's temple. "I'm so glad you did…"

Clive wrapped his arms around both of them, "When I woke up, I was at the same beach. Barely a moment had passed since I had closed my eyes and yet there sat a boat that I swore wasn't there before and I was only a short ride away from home. ...So strange. It was almost as if nothing happened or changed." Clive lifted his stiff hand, "other than this…and this…"

Jill watched with bated breath as with his remaining functioning hand, Clive pulled out a glowing phoenix feather from his satchel.

The ethereal light leaching from the otherworldly feather bathing Clive's face in an array of warm colors. All different shades of amber and burning flames leaving ghostly imprints on his skin as the power inside of Clive lay dormant and nearly powerless reacted to its warmth regardless.

All was quiet for a moment before Clive suddenly screamed out his brother's name in a heartwrenching sob.

Broad shoulders trembling like a leaf and Jill immediately wrapped her arms around him. Pulling his face into her breast as she allowed him to fall apart for the brother he so desperately loved and so tragically lost. Clive pressed the feather to his chest, weeping and sobbing as if he would never stop. His sodden tears soaking her shirt as he grieved for the life Joshua would never get to live.

All Jill could do was join him in his misery.

Tears slipped down her face as she recalled that kind-hearted young man who fought so valiantly and ended up dying for them all. Remembered him also as the sweetest little boy she watched grow up in Rosaria. The little boy who always had a smile on his face and such joy in his eyes even as he was always physically hurting and sickly. To witness the bond Clive and Joshua shared, the unbreakable chain that tied them together remained steadfast even the years they were apart. Only for Joshua to bravely give up his life so that his beloved brother, his first Shield, could live on.

Gav bit his lip, hands reaching to Clive to comfort him yet he pulled away. Biting his lip, he wiped away the tears remaining in his eye before grabbing the discarded oars in his hands. Without a word, he began steering them back towards the Hideaway - back towards their home.

"I'm so sorry…" Jill sobbed into Clive's hair, the flecks of blood, sweat and sea water brushing against her cheek only made her hold him all the tighter.

Clive cried, his breath hitching as he burrowed into her warmth as if she was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth. His lips trembling against her collarbone as his tears soaked her skin. All she could do was run her hands over his back, his head, through his hair in comforting circles. The rocking of the boat as Gav made for the Hideaway allowing her to cradle Clive closer as he cried. The heartwrenching sobs eventually fading to gasping cries, his body lax in her hold as he finally grew quiet in her arms.

Clive pulled back from her slightly only to adjust so his head rested comfortably on her shoulder. His arms wrapped and resting on the small of her back, his cursed addled hand slightly digging into her spine yet she would never have him move it. Jill looked at his face, her thumb brushing across his cheeks to wipe his numerous tears that leaked from his half-lidded eyes. The grief was suffocating but in those deep blue eyes she'd loved her whole life, there was still a spark. Glowing Phoenix Feather resting against Clive's heart as he set his gaze towards the rising sun.

The vision of its gentle rays much like the spread wings of a beautiful Phoenix rising from the ashes and pulling itself further into the sky in order to watch over them all from its perch in the heavens.

"...J-Joshua…" Clive whispered against her skin, eyelashes fluttering before fanning out against his scarred cheek as his eyes slipped shut. "Thank you, brother…for everything…"

With only a few more whimpered gasps leaving his lips, Clive had fallen asleep.

Jill's eyes rested on Clive's face for a long moment. Merely enjoying the warmth of his breath, the smell of his skin and the heartbeat pounding against her own.

Her prayers had been answered. Clive was here - alive. Never again would she want for more…

Holding Clive all the tighter, her icy blue eyes slid to the sky. Taking in the sun resting its comforting rays on their shoulders, its light warm like a gentle hug and always steadfast presence that would never leave.

The Phoenix Feather on Clive's chest suddenly glowed and Jill smiled.

"Yes. Thank you, Joshua…" Jill whispered, the words carried into the breeze and hopefully to wherever his spirit resided. Thin pale fingers slipping through Clive's tangled raven locks as he slept against her chest. "Thank you for bringing him home…" Tears slipped down her face as she pressed her cheek against Clive's warn hair and quietly wept for the wonderful friend and brother that had been lost to such blind hatred. She closed her eyes and prayed that Joshua would find peaceful rest, would reunite with his father and know that he was so loved and would never be forgotten.

Joshua deciding to lay down his life brought Clive back to her and Jill swore that she would never take that for granted nor forget his nor Dion's ultimate sacrifice.

None of them would…

As the Hideaway grew closer and the varying emotions from the faces of all their awaiting friends showcased relief, happiness, grief, and hope all in equal measure, Jill merely held Clive's sleeping form tighter against her chest.

Joshua Rosfield gave them all a second chance, and this time, none of them were going to take a single day for granted.

#ff16 #ffxvi #final fantasy 16 spoilers #final fantasy 16 fanfiction #ff16 fanfiction #clive x jill #joshua rosfield #fanfiction #spoilers #warning

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kuromikuma · 10 months ago

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Rekindle | Joshua Rosfield x reader

(Rewritten version)

I want to do another longer part but I always have trouble with it so this seems very incomplete

"There's someone I think you would like to see." Joshua's brows furrowed in confusion at his brother's words.

The infirmary room door opens again, and a familiar girl walks in. "Y/n?" Joshua stands and the girl walks quickly to him and into his arms for a hug. He stands still for a moment in shock before he wraps his arms around her. While traveling with Jote he has thought a lot about what had happened to Y/n, where would she be.

Y/n pulls away and Joshua takes the time to study her. She has the same dark hair except it reaches past her waist now. The same golden eyes that would look so bright when they played outside together as children. She's of course taller compared to her nine-year-old self back then, she reaches up to his chin.

Y/n keeps her arms around his neck and plays with the tips of his blond hair. She smiles, "Your hair has gotten longer."

Joshua returns her smile equally as excited about seeing her again after so long, "My hair, look at yours," he runs his fingers through the ends of her hair, "It used to reach your shoulders." Clive and Jill stand at the door watching them interact after so many years.

#final fantasy 16 #final fantasy xvi #joshua rosfield #joshua x reader #joshua rosfield x reader #final fantasy fanfiction #final fantasy fanfic

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rune-writes · 1 month ago

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Snowdrops

Fandom: Final Fantasy XVI

Word Count: 8053

Rating: T

Pairing: Clive Rosfield/Jill Warrick

Summary: Jill was a slave of the Iron Kingdom. A girl barely of age who had just awoken to a power larger than herself, she was subjected to cruel treatment as befit a Dominant in Haearann. She'd lost everything: from her home, to her family, and the people she loved. And when she thought she would lose herself too, light called out to her.

Notes: written for Moongazers: A Clive/Jill Fanzine! tw: canon-typical violence, slavery.

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Her carriage jostled from side to side—although, to be more precise, it wasn’t a carriage per se. An iron cage held her, hoisted over a wheeled, wooden platform and pulled by two beasts of burden. The first thing Jill sensed was the heat. It emanated from everywhere around her, as though she had been shoved inside a box of burning hot coal. Sweat beaded her forehead and she could feel the dampness of her clothes. She groaned, quiet, barely above a whisper. Her neck was stiff; cold metal bars bit into her back. As her consciousness slowly rose to the surface, the backs of her eyelids glowed in a dim orange light.

Heavy iron cuffs weighed her collar, wrists, and ankles…

Fetters—

A half-formed thought emerged in her mind, but it was enough to jolt her awake and inform her of where she was now. No— She scrambled, desperately grasping at the retreating darkness. Take me back! Take me back to—

Where?

She couldn’t recall where her mind had been, only that it had been warm, and light. Sunny. Her heart had soared as she rushed across a field of flowers, trying to catch up to…

The carriage jolted to a stop. A low guttural voice ordered her to wake up. She stayed still, pretending to be asleep. Her senses were returning and she could hear distant chatters and murmurs, the clanging of metal on forge; felt the heat of fire.

Feet shifted on both sides of her, and Jill fought against the tremble. She recognized those heavy steps. They approached her, stopped right next to her. Foul breath filled her nostrils.

“I said,” the Commander breathed into her face. His thick Haearanni tongue made her skin crawl, but Jill remained silent. “Wake. Up.”

He yanked open the door and shoved her off the cage, off the platform, until her shoulder banged against the hard, rocky ground and her body skidded several steps away. The force of the Commander’s shove should have pushed her further, but the chain around her neck stopped her short, gagging her. She gasped for breath. Jeers erupted from the soldiers as Jill coughed and reached for her collar.

“That is why you wake up when I tell you to, witch.” The Commander kicked her hand away, then kicked her chest for good measure. Tears welled in her eyes as Jill groaned and wheezed, feeling the fetters tightening around her neck like a noose.

“That is enough.”

When a bone-chilling, familiar voice boomed from across the hall, the chatter immediately died. The fires and forges went still. Jill froze, her coughing ceasing as her eyes whirled then fell on a black robe swishing around bony ankles. Primordial fear gripped her heart and she kicked her feet, pushed her back as far as she could away from this predator of a man; but she had no strength. Her kick was too feeble. Jill cursed herself for the weak whimper slipping out of her lips as Imreann stopped not far from where she lay. Jill averted her gaze, but even then she could feel his repulsive eyes rake through her body. She felt filthy.

“Congratulations, Commander, for your victory in battle,” the Patriarch said.

The army commander bowed at the waist. “You are too kind, Your Excellency. The battle would have been won far quicker if not for the witchling’s impudence.”

“Pray, explain.”

“She refused to prime. We had to make an…example of what it means to disobey us.”

“I see.” Another glance; this time with mild annoyance. She heard the click of a tongue. “I would have thought killing her handmaid,” —Jill outwardly flinched— “had taught her a lesson, but it seems that wasn’t enough. I should’ve kept her alive as a hostage.”

Jill shut her eyes. She didn’t want to imagine what he meant by that.

“Take the fetters off her neck. She can’t breathe like that. Remember, Commander: she is our weapon. I will not have her dying so soon.”

Feet shuffled then rough fingers slipped through her hair and reached around her neck. She felt them brush her raw, sensitive skin before she heard the clink and the metal ring fell off. Jill didn’t dare breathe a sigh of relief, not when the monster was still in front of her. Perhaps he knew what she was thinking, because then Imreann scoffed.

“Take her to her cell,” was all he said before he, along with his entourage, turned on their heels and headed back inside the mountain. The moment he disappeared, activity around the hall resumed. The Commander barked orders at two of the soldiers, who then grabbed Jill on both arms and lifted her to her feet.

“Walk,” one of them said.

As if she could, with her ankles still clasped and chained. Ice pierced her body, but she wasn’t sure whether it came from her magick or the dread of being cooped up far beneath the surface again. But perhaps, that was better than here, better than Imreann, better than outside where her weakness had cost her another child’s life.

***

Some people thought she was a lifeless doll—a puppet, made to move only under the beck and call of her master. They’re not wrong, Jill thought.

In a lonely dark cell, Jill lay, bone-weary, on the cold stone floor. No light dared disturb the darkness here—the farthest glow came from a dim torch nestled into the wall some handful yalms away. Not even sound could perturb the stillness.

Her gray eyes gazed unseeing at her small diamond-shaped pendant clasped in her hand. It had been a gift, or perhaps a memento. When the decision to send her to Rosaria had been made, her father had gone to her room to slip the necklace around her neck. A family heirloom, she was told. To remind her of home.

A faint hum of a melody drifted into her consciousness, along with a remnant of a familiar voice.

What’s that song? Someone had asked. That song you just sang.

On a quiet night, Jill had stood on the balcony of a castle. A boy had been with her, looking at her with stars in his eyes.

This? she’d asked, humming the melody again. The boy had nodded. It’s a song from my hometown. My parents taught it to me.

A memory of bygone days penetrated her mind, drifting aimlessly before it was pulled back into the blanket of obscurity.

It told of Shiva the Ice Queen. They say she would come to her people in their time of need and deliver salvation.

But Shiva had come and no salvation had been delivered. Part of Jill wondered if the legend had been nothing but a bedtime story meant to lull children to sleep. She had certainly fallen asleep to one of Shiva’s tales, dreaming up the Ice Queen and her legion of crystalline armies.

Perhaps even her necklace was a fraud—

Jill stopped herself.

She closed her eyes. Even the utterance of an apology to her father, her mother, her ancestors, took too much energy that she failed to muster. The pulsing warmth she had always sought in her necklace was nowhere to be found. It lay cold in her palm, offering neither solace nor reassurance that everything would be alright.

How could it be when everything had gone up in a blazing inferno three summers past—all her dreams, all her hopes?

She had no one else…

Chill seeped into her skin. Jill barely registered the cold—barely registered the fever that was settling in her bones. Her thin, ragged robe hung in tatters, barely covering her ankles that were covered in blisters and now chained to the wall. Yet still, her chest rumbled as the tune so familiar to her heart fought through her parched throat and dried lips.

I like that song, Clive had said. Will you sing it again?

Her thumb brushed over the dim onyx jewel nestled at the center of her pendant. In the stillness, Jill hummed, though she sounded weak and broken.

***

“There you are!”

Jill looked up. Clive stood at the door, half-turning, the tips of his raven hair painted silver under the moonlight.

For a split second, Jill couldn’t remember where she was or what she had been doing. A faint recollection of heat and pain shot up her arms, but the sensation quickly faded. A headache persisted, but it, too, disappeared after a brief shake of her head.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Clive crouched in front of her. “What’s wrong? You disappeared soon after dinner.”

Jill blinked then gazed around. She was at the Rosalith castle garden, concealed in the shadows of a shrub just outside the castle wall. It wasn’t quite hidden per se. The entire garden was swathed in moonlight that night. The otherwise dark corners were lit by magick-infused torches. If Jill had sought to hide, she could’ve looked for a better place.

“It’s nothing,” she eventually said. She shook her head, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Clive’s concern turned into a frown.

“If it’s nothing, then what are you doing here drawing circles on the ground?”

Jill dropped her eyes.

“Tell me.”

The softness in his voice prompted her to speak but when Jill opened her mouth, the words wouldn’t come. So Jill shrugged, then continued drawing circles. He sighed.

Jill didn’t stir when his shadow moved and settled next to her. While distance remained between their shoulders, she could still feel the heat radiating off his body. It calmed her, grounded her.

“Joshua was worried,” Clive began. “You seemed down and then excused yourself early from dinner. Did something happen?”

Jill didn’t say anything, and neither did he. The silence stretched for a while, until Clive spoke:

“The moon’s beautiful tonight.”

Unwittingly, Jill looked up—

—then realized halfway that, again, Clive had managed to coax her out of her shell. She cut a glance at him when she heard his chuckle, finding one corner of his lips tugged into a small smirk. Jill’s own features fought between a frown and a sigh before settling on a little wry smile of her own.

“How do you do that?” she asked.

“Do what?”

Jill remained quiet for a moment. Her gaze flicked from his face back to the circles she’d drawn on the ground. The stick she’d used lay loosely in her grip. She dropped it, then folded her arms around her knees.

“You always know,” she said. “When I’m feeling down. I never say anything, but you always know how to cheer me up…how to make me talk.” She giggled softly. “Like that time you took me to Mann’s Hill.”

“I would take you there again if it would brighten your mood.” She glanced at him, and he smiled, shifting his eyes upward. “Except it’s already night, and Mann’s Hill is nowhere near the castle. It wouldn’t just be Murdoch who would flay us this time.”

That prompted a quiet laugh from her. Clive brightened at the sound. In the periphery of her senses, she sensed him reach for her, stopped, then changed course to her head. His gentle pats felt like a salve that soothed her wounds. Jill’s breath shuddered in contentment.

“Will you tell me what troubles you?”

She pursed her lips and closed her eyes.

An image of a cold, dark cell flashed across her mind. She lay alone, shivering, with chains on her neck and around her blistering ankles. For a fleeting moment, her heart seized. Her throat closed and she struggled to breathe.

“Jill?”

The image dissipated as quickly as it had come. When Jill blinked, she found herself back at the garden with the full moon and a worried Clive sitting next to her. Warmth radiated from her hand, where Clive was holding it, anchoring her to the present.

A dream, she told herself. Or a nightmare. Would he laugh if she told him she was afraid of boogeymen?

“Can I ask you something, Clive?” she asked instead. “Why did you want to become First Shield?”

She knew part of the reason was because of Lady Anabella. The Duchess’s scorn for her firstborn was not a well-kept secret—not that the Duchess had done anything to keep it secret. Everyone knew—from the handmaids to the kitchen hands, the stableboys and even the soldiers. Jill had also been on the receiving end of such contempt on more occasions than one. Perhaps, that was why they were drawn to each other: two children seeking their place in the world.

Yet despite all the derision he received, Clive still aspired to become First Shield—the Phoenix’s protector—and had been training for it throughout all the years Jill had lived there.

She lay her head on her knee, gaze locked at their connected hands. “How did you find the strength to stand when all others expected you to fall?”

Clive stared at her. “Did Mother say something to you again?” he asked, and Jill almost flinched. His hard gaze bored into her. It was one thing, it seemed, for his mother to disregard him, and another when the same thing occurred to Jill. While Jill couldn’t deny that the Duchess Anabella had made more scathing remarks, that wasn’t the reason behind her question, so she shook her head. It took a while before Clive could be convinced.

He let out a frustrating sigh and slumped back against the wall, withdrawing his hand in the process. The absence of his warmth made her skin tingle uncannily in the cool evening air. She curled her fingers and tucked them closer.

“While it is true that I had hoped to earn Mother’s approval,” he said, “the reason why I wanted to become First Shield is simply because I wanted to protect my brother. The Phoenix is our symbol of hope. While Joshua safeguards our people, I shall take my place beside him and shield him from harm. That, at least, is what I hope to achieve. Come what may, I train so that one day I may have the strength to do just that.”

“You’re already strong, Clive,” she said.

Clive scoffed under his breath. “If I seem that way to you,” he said, then paused. A furtive glance at her followed by a sheepish smile and a clearing of his throat before he looked away again. “I think that’s because I have you with me.” He scratched the back of his head. “You’re always there to pull me up and hold my back.”

Jill blinked, stunned.

Before she could comprehend the meaning of his words, Clive had already pushed himself off the ground. He gazed at the star-speckled sky, where the moon hung low and bright.

“When things start to go dark around me, I look to my light to show me the way.” The moon lined his profile in silver, and for a moment, Jill thought he looked ethereal. Then he turned and held out his hand. “So when you find yourself in a similar predicament, Jill, look for your light.”

***

Sharp, piercing whispers penetrated the barriers of Jill’s consciousness, along with a pounding headache that almost jolted her awake. She groaned.

The owners of the voices didn’t seem to hear her. They kept arguing, their frustratingly loud yet hushed voices grating on her ears.

Jill cracked open an eye and found the rim of a crude bowl next to her face. Odd, she thought. Odder still when she spotted a glass and a tray behind it. Her eyes traced the edges of the tray to the gray stone floor, farther still until they rested on what looked like metal bars standing on their side. The word “cell” came to her mind, but her sluggish brain failed to follow it with a meaning. Her thin drenched garment barely kept the chill away. Jill shivered.

Ah…I want to go back.

The thought came unbidden. It made her pause. Back, she asked herself. Back where?

Back there. To him.

Him…who?

The boy. With the blue eyes.

But he’s…

Gone.

A sob tore out of her, except—her body was too weak to let out anything louder than a whimper. So Jill lay on the floor, a crushing weight pressing down on her ribs as she took one deep shuddering breath after another.

Look for your light—

But there was no light. The cell stood dark and dank. Freezing. The only heat came from the guard’s torch, because yes, that was a guard. She was in prison, deep in the bowels of Mount Drustanus, where they housed the cruelest, most wicked of their felons: a Dominant.

Jill’s senses were slowly coming back to her. Fetters bit into her skin and cold stone pressed hard against her bony cheek. She tasted salt. Another odd thing. But her jaws moved; she lapped her lips. They…weren’t as parched as she’d thought. She eyed the bowl. Gruel? Was that…dinner? But who…? No one should’ve entered her cell and placed her dinner inside, let alone feed her.

She lifted her head just in time as the voices finally made sense to her:

“I am telling you that your precious weapon is ill. If you do not treat her and she dies, whose head do you think will roll?”

The torch lit the speakers’ faces just enough that Jill recognized the messy bun, brown smock, and plump features.

“Lady Marleigh…” Jill croaked.

She hadn’t meant to call—she didn’t even realize she had strength to speak—but her voice was heard, and Lady Marleigh gasped. Marleigh turned, eyes brimming, then pushed past the guard and entered the cell. “Oy—” The guard attempted to grab Marleigh’s arm, but Marleigh was too quick on her feet. Her already feeble energy spent, Jill fell to the ground just as Marleigh arrived at her side.

“My lady.” The older woman reached over and pressed a hand to her cheek. Even in the dark, Jill could tell how the lady frowned.

Marleigh reached to her pocket then withdrew a small, thin packet.

“My lady, please drink this. ‘Tis medicine for your fever.”

“Hey—” The guard pushed his way inside the cell then grabbed Marleigh’s arm before she could administer the drug. Big as he was—like all other Haearanni—he easily pulled Marleigh up in one swift motion. Jill watched the medicine spill out of the packet as it fell. Marleigh wailed in agony. “How did you get that medicine?” the guard demanded.

“Let me go, you big brute! That was for my mistress and you made me waste it!”

“Answer! Where did you get the medicine?!”

“If you won’t treat her, then I will—”

He shoved her down. Lady Marleigh’s shoulder connected with the floor with a sickening crack, enough for Jill to fight through her pain and languor and scream—cracked though she sounded—“Lady Marleigh!”

“Thieving rat! Did you steal from the Patriarch’s storage?” The guard spat. He made to reach for Marleigh again, but a command from Jill made him pause. The guard looked over his shoulder.

Jill had propped herself on her arms. Ice surged through her veins—ice that fought and wrestled against the crystal cuffs that kept it at bay. For one split moment, fear washed over the guard’s face as he took a trembling step back. Then the magick abated, and Jill gasped, slumping onto the ground.

The guard barked a hideous laugh. “You have no power here, witchling! Not as long as you wear those fetters.” He might have thought to give her a kick, but whatever power Jill had about to unleash remained in the air, and it was enough to make him reconsider his next move. The guard ended up grunting under his breath, hoisted Marleigh by the arm, and dragged her out kicking and screaming as the lady attempted to return to Jill.

“Shut it, you!” The guard hissed. He closed the cell, clicking the lock into place. “You’d be lucky if I didn’t report to the Patriarch.”

With as much bravado as Lady Marleigh could muster, she looked the guard square in the eye and said, “Try me.”

The guard pushed Marleigh forward. Jill watched them leave along with the light and the heat. Once, Lady Marleigh dared to look behind her shoulder before the guard shoved her forward again. Jill closed her eyes, listening to the patter of their footsteps, growing weaker and weaker, echoing in the empty chamber. Faraway, a door creaked open. A distant bustling cacophony slipped out before the door closed once again, shutting Jill away from the world.

***

Sometimes, when Jill closed her eyes, she would find herself back in Rosaria: the hustle and bustle of early morning preparations, the chatters and laughter in the servants’ quarters, the shouts and warm camaraderie of the barracks. She might not have been born there—she had only been a simple ward—but the Archduke had treated her like a daughter, and everyone—or, most of everyone—had welcomed her in kind.

See, that was what most people probably didn’t know. She remembered light. She remembered kindness.

She remembered the first day she arrived there.

The sun had risen high and the trumpets had blared. The grandest of welcomes if Jill had ever seen one. While the Archduke and his knights had been the most hospitable, being in a strange land all by herself had given Jill nothing short of apprehension, least of all with the Duchess’s disdain following her every step. Savage, she’d called her. Jill had shrunk into herself. She probably would have locked herself in the room designated to be hers if Clive hadn’t come and asked her to play.

‘Play’ might not be the exact word, though for a six year old, being taken on a tour of the castle then playing hide-and-seek with the servants had counted as playing. The handmaid assigned to her had looked so disgruntled as she asked Jill not to disappear like that.

A distant memory surfaced: of a body, broken and spent, tossed in front of her like a limp ragged doll. It left as soon as it came before Jill could make sense of what it was, and then she was back at the castle hall with her handmaid staring down at her. Jill cast her eyes down and shifted on her feet.

“She’s not harmed.” Clive, his hand holding hers, stepped in front of her. “See? She’s alright. I was just taking her out to see the garden and—”

“My lord—” Her handmaid plastered a strained smile, but before she could say anything else, a hand flashed and smacked Clive on the head—lightly. Clive yelped, then whirled around, ready to fight. Only, a glaring Murdoch stood behind them, looking stern, and Clive paled.

“I heard your lordship skipped his lesson,” the general said.

“Murdoch, I—”

General Murdoch dropped his eyes to their linked hands and let a quiet sigh slip through his nose. “I appreciate your lordship’s efforts in welcoming our new guest, but you do have your studies to attend. Or do you not wish to be First Shield any longer?”

It wouldn’t be until a couple years later for Jill to learn the reason Murdoch’s question had provoked Clive so, but back then, she remembered the guilt she had felt for taking much of Clive’s time when he should have been somewhere else. Clive seemed to notice it because then he promised to see her again after his lesson. Perhaps during dinner, or—

“Or you could come to the barracks—”

“Clive,” Murdoch warned. “Barracks are no place for a young lady.”

Clive shut his mouth, then promised again that he would come see her later. Later on, when Jill was safely back in her room and her handmaid was brushing her hair, she apologized for making her worry, and her handmaid told her she had nothing to apologize for.

“I should have expected he would come visit your ladyship. The young master is quite… sociable, if a little unpredictable. Truthfully, I’d feared he might have taken you out to see the town unguarded.” Her handmaid offered a wry smile. She set down the brush and patted Jill’s now-sleek hair. Then she took a step back, hand neatly folded over her lap. Not a speck of dust on her dress or strand of hair out of place, even when it seemed she had turned the castle upside down in search of Jill. “Would you like some refreshments, my lady? I brought you bread, and some fruits.”

But Jill couldn’t think about snacks at the time. Instead, a growing curiosity gnawed at her, so she asked, “What kind of person is the young master?”

Her handmaid blinked, before a smile bloomed across her face. “Aside from the small unpredictability of his actions, he is a sincere and hardworking boy. Kind, and caring, above all else.”

Kind and caring. Surely that was it. Surely that was why, time and again, Jill had felt her heart stir every time he directed his smile at her—the steadfastness of his gaze, his unwavering conviction…

In the first few months since her arrival, he would spend every spare moment he had with her. He kept her company, brought her to all the places within and without the castle grounds—of course, with a healthy entourage keeping watch. He did all that and more until Jill could say with all her heart that Rosalith was home.

If Jill thought about it now, she could remember everything fondly. Like through a rose-tinted glass: the light warmer and the smiles brighter. Walking down the pavement of the castle town with Torgal in her arms, she’d watch merchants holler their wares and a boy her age running down the street, trying to catch his chicken that’d just fled its coop. Men swept the stairs in front of their shops and women tended to their gardens. Once, she heard someone call her name and saw that it was the flower lady from whom she’d bought a bouquet of blooms just the other day.

“Out by yourself, milady?” the flower lady asked. “I see Ada’s not with you today.”

“No, Clive is here—” Jill turned, but her supposed escort was nowhere to be seen. They were older now, so Murdoch had given them leave if they’d wanted to explore the town themselves. Her handmaid, Ada, hadn’t been so relenting, until Clive assured her that Rosalith was probably the safest place in all of Rosaria. No harm should come to them.

“Besides,” he’d added, “I’m pretty good with the sword now.”

Or so he had said. Now the boy had disappeared and part of her wondered if she had gotten lost and not him. She exchanged a glance with Torgal, who only whined quietly and cocked his head to the side in confusion.

The florist giggled. “You two make such a lovely pair. Why, I remember just a few summers ago when the two of you would come to my stall escorted by a guard each. And Lady Ada too, of course. You wouldn’t let go of his hand even when I handed you a flower.”

Jill flushed red, then cleared her throat. “We’re not children anymore. It is not proper for a young lady to hold a young lord’s hand.” She attempted to change the subject—to the snowdrops she had bought the day before. But the florist was still grinning and Jill had to abandon the idea of moving the topic along. As much as it made her giddy to hear that she and Clive looked lovely together, a part of her knew they could never be. Talks had been made to marry her off to another House. Jill had always been just a pawn here. The place she had finally come to call home was never truly where she belonged. Her time here had always been fleeting. She should spend it the best she could with the people she loved.

“Ah, speak of the devil.” The florist’s quiet exclamation broke through Jill’s reveries. Her teasing smile sent a thrill fluttering in Jill’s stomach. “His lordship is here.”

Jill turned in time to see Clive break free from the crowd, looking extremely unsettled as he scanned the street. When his sapphire eyes found her by the flower shop, the lines of his face crumbled in palpable relief. But he kept his posture and strode to her side.

“There you are!” A soft reprimand, though he looked more pleased than angry. “I was looking everywhere for you.”

“You’re the one who disappeared.”

“You should have stuck close to me. Imagine what Murdoch will say if he finds out I actually lost you.”

Torgal, for whatever reason, growled at him. Clive looked surprised; the pup had never shown his fangs at him before. But Torgal quickly lost his irritation when Jill petted his head.

“See?” she said. “Even Torgal said you’re at fault here.” Clive pursed his lips. Jill laughed. “Clive, you said so yourself. We’re still only in the castle town. What could possibly go wrong?”

Except, everything did go wrong.

On the night after Clive, Joshua, and the Archduke had gone to Phoenix Gate, the castle burned.

For the most part, Jill had purged the memories of that night from her mind. In fact, if she were to recall, she would fail to recount every detail that had happened between then and now. All she remembered were the screams and the fire—the flashes of steel—the blood.

And Lady Ada—

The image of a body sprawled on the ground flitted across her eyes. Jill lurched forward and gasped.

Hot, glaring light pierced her eyes almost immediately. Jill had to blink several times before she could see where she was. She looked around, but the sight she beheld made her pause.

She wasn’t in her room, nor was she anywhere near a town. A swath of white flowers blanketing the entire land as far as her eye could see, undulating under a brilliant gilded sky. She shook her head, then shook it again, but the thick impenetrable fog that shrouded her mind refused to lift.

Where was this, she asked herself.

Jill rose to her feet, rather unsteady at first, but soon found her footing on the firm ground. She wore no shoes. Her toes curled on the damp earth. How long had it been since she last felt the touch of soft grass? Jill felt her skin prickle, her body seeming to whisper, Hello, old friend.

Like a response to her greeting, a gentle breeze came to kiss her face. Hello, it said.

A shiver ran up her spine. Jill crouched and held her palm to the little blooms sprouting on the ground. White teardrop-shaped petals hung like pendulums from thin green stalks. She recognized them. She’d seen them before—

Home.

A vanguard of spring, her mother used to say. One that braved the bleakness of winter as it heralded the coming of change. They’d called them snowdrops for the petals that looked like drops of snow. Jill remembered picking them and weaving them into a crown. They rarely grew in Rosaria, so when she’d spotted them in a stall at the market, she had instinctively bought them for herself as another memento of her homeland.

Jill expected the flowers to fade or for her finger to pass through them, except she found them solid and somewhat fragile—soft to the touch, yet real nonetheless. As real as the ground she was standing on or the dress she was wearing.

Yes, it was a dress she wore, not the ragged robe they’d haphazardly thrown on her. A simple white sleeveless gown that fell to her ankles. She had no blisters, no fetters, no lithification. Nothing that bound her.

She was…free.

For the first time in years, Jill felt an all-encompassing giddiness that made her bounce on the balls of her feet. Along with it was a familiar freezing heat that surged from within her, burning every tether, every vein until her chest swelled and magick brimmed just beneath the surface of her skin. And then it burst, showering her in a million tiny crystalline snowflakes that glinted silver in the light.

Jill’s quiet gasp sounded more like an exhalation of the breath she had been holding. The icy crystals landed on her palm and didn’t melt at her touch.

How—

This couldn’t be real. She’d cast magick and yet no stiffness crept up her flesh. She looked at the snowflakes still floating around her. Then she looked at her hands. From the deep well of her power, Jill drew another trail of magick, letting it manifest in a stream of icy fountain from her open palm.

She felt no pain. No petrification.

This place wasn’t real.

A place as beautiful as this, where one could evoke magick without prompting its excruciating rebound effects.

A place very much like a dream.

The thought had just settled in her mind when Jill caught a voice drifting in the wind. Familiar, but not quite so. It sounded deeper, rougher, as though the owner had grown out of his boyish tenor.

Jill turned, and her world stopped.

Clive stood a few yalms away in a loose white shirt and dark pants. For a moment, she couldn’t recognize who he was. His hair was longer, somewhat more unruly than the last time she had seen him; a stubble had grown around his jawline, and he was taller—much taller—with a broader chest and sharper features. Yet those eyes: the same stark blue she had always loved looked at her so kindly.

“Jill,” he called, soft. The edges of his mouth quirked into a familiar easy smile that pulled at her heartstrings.

Before she knew it, the dam she had been holding back for nigh on four years burst. A sob tore out of her in a sky-shattering wail. Jill kicked her feet against the ground, skipped over rocks and undergrowth, and leapt into Clive’s open arms.

And she wept.

Jill wept and wept, one shuddering sob after another. The solid thrum of his heartbeat drummed against her cheek; his breath fanned her ear as he whispered her name again and again.

“You’re alive,” she murmured. He was real. “They told me you died.”

The moment she heard that the two princes were lost in the fire, Jill’s world had turned upside down. She couldn’t believe it—didn’t want to believe it. For a time, she had refused to give in. Clive wouldn’t have wanted her to. He was alive somewhere in the world, biding his time to reclaim his rightful place and set everything right again. But being a prisoner of the Ironbloods put a toll on both her body and mind. The light she had religiously relied on slowly dimmed. When a broken body was tossed in front of her, the light sputtered out.

Jill’s arms tightened around him. Warm leather and sweet cinnamon—his familiar scents washed over her. He was here. He was alive.

If she could only stay—

But then Clive called her name, and his tone carried a sense of foreboding that made a tiny crack form on the surface of her dream. Memories flowed fresh into her mind. She clung onto him, digging her fingers deep into his back and refusing to let go.

He tried again. “Jill.”

Jill shook her head, pressed herself deeper into him. She wanted to disappear; wanted to leave that awful world.

Let me stay, her heart begged. Let me be with you.

But Clive held her shoulders. With one gentle push, he dislodged her from him. He peered into her face, but Jill looked away.

“Jill.” The tenderness in his voice threatened another sob to break free from her. “Jill, your place isn't here.”

“No.”

“Jill—”

“No! Don’t make me go back.” She whirled her eyes at him, found him pained, saw him grimace. “Don’t make me return. Not there. Not to him.”

A muscle twitched along Clive’s jaws.

“They killed her, Clive; right in front of me—Lady Ada…” Her breath hitched. She remembered: the sight of her handmaid’s broken body in the bowels of Mount Drustanus.

Heat coalesced in the large circular hall of the inner chamber. They’d brought Jill in, cuffed and chained. Jill couldn’t have guessed why they’d taken her there, but when she noticed the figure on the altar, her blood had run cold.

Lady Ada had lain motionless on top of the slab of stone beneath the crystal mound. Her clothes had been bloodied and torn; her empty eyes gazed almost unseeing. As Jill approached, she’d sworn she saw a flicker of recognition cross her handmaid’s features. Through her parched, cut lip, Lady Ada had whimpered.

Jill had realized then what they’d been about to do. She screamed; kicked her guard and attempted to run—toward Lady Ada—but the guard yanked her chain and Jill fell back. In one fell swoop, the Patriarch’s blade pierced Lady Ada’s chest. A deafening cry erupted from Jill’s throat.

Should you fail to follow my command, the Patriarch had drawled, such is the fate that awaits every woman and children from Rosaria.

Her breath now shook. She could still see their faces: the children who'd been taken as hostages to make her comply. Their fear was etched in the lines of their faces—their utter horror before the blades slit their throats.

“It would’ve been better had I died with you.” A fervent wish she had never dared to speak aloud, yet it now slipped from between her lips in a whisper so weak, so strained…

Jill’s knees buckled from under her. Clive held her upright; his strong arms the haven she had always remembered them to be. He patted the back of her head—a familiar gentle touch, stroking her hair.

“I have no one else, Clive,” she whimpered. “I have nothing else to live for.”

Silence fell between them, a comfortable sort that enveloped her like how she imagined a parent’s embrace would feel like. The wind picked up. The petals rose and danced around her—idly, intoxicatingly—carrying a sweet scent that brought her back to a time of peace and tranquility.

“Then what about Lady Marleigh?” Clive spoke. “Or the other women and children still trapped under that mountain. Do you not have them?”

“They would be better off if I died.”

“You know that’s not true.” Clive’s voice was stern. Jill dropped her gaze. “Had you died, the torment they go through would have been far greater than whatever they have to endure now. But you’re alive, and you are blessed with the power of Shiva. Do you remember, Jill? When you asked me for my reasons to become the First Shield, do you remember what I said about the Phoenix?”

Jill wished she had forgotten, but the memory was seared into her mind, it was impossible to forget. But she refused to speak it. She didn’t want to make it real—to make her hope in a world where hope had perished in flames. Yet Clive was looking at her so imploringly. He cupped her face and stroked his thumbs across her cheeks.

So she said, “You said it was a symbol of hope, that it gave us the power to safeguard our people.”

“And is that not why Shiva has chosen you? To protect yourself and the women and children in captivity?”

No, she wanted to say, but part of her knew that Clive spoke true. Of all the people in the world, why had the Ice Queen chosen her—in the precise moment when her future and the death of her soul would have been secured? Had she been more pious, she would have thought it was a message from the Gods; and perhaps, that had been her thinking, for a while. But there was only so much a person could endure. The strongest man in the world would break under an endless onslaught of despair.

She looked into his eyes, so bright and alive. Jill reached out and touched his temple, trailing a line down to where his stubble had subtly grown. Real, but not real.

“But you’re not there anymore,” she murmured, even as she felt her heart hardening into resolve. “How am I supposed to look to my light when I can’t find you?”

He chuckled then. He took her fingers and held it between his hands. “Light…doesn’t always have to come from one source.”

A quiet sob escaped her lips. Clive drew her into his arms again.

“You are strong, Jill. You have strength in your heart—unfettered and unseen. If you cannot find that light in yourself, then look for it in the people who believe in you, the way I found mine in you.”

For the briefest of moments, Jill felt the featherlight brush of a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes, held onto him, and willed him to stay, but like every dream, she felt him slip and fade. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

I’m always with you, Jill.

A gust of wind tugged at her dress, flapping it around her ankle and pushing Jill off balance. As her feet fell a step forward, she opened her eyes, and found snowdrop petals fluttering on the space where Clive had been.

***

Jill wasn’t quite sure what roused her. It could be the quiet footfalls dragging against the floor that her ears picked. It could be the unfamiliar warmth flickering beside her. As her consciousness returned, Jill found that her hair was damp with sweat, as well as the thin robe that covered her body, and she realized it might as well have been that too.

She groaned, then the shuffling feet fell into silence. An unfamiliar ceiling greeted her eyes when she peeled them open. Stone ceiling, still, but it wasn’t the dark and dank cell that she remembered. A warm brown color, lit by torches set in intervals. A lantern lit the cell on a table beside her. Jill stirred and realized she wasn’t on the floor but on a cot—hard, but covered in bedding still—with a blanket over her and a towel on her forehead.

“She’s awake.”

“Lady Marleigh—”

“Should we inform the Patriarch?”

“Shh!” A voice rose above the whispers. Footsteps approached her and Jill looked to see a familiar figure crouching beside her bed. Lady Marleigh’s features broke into relief, pulled tight by a cut in her lip and a nasty bruise above one eye. “My lady Jill,” she whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“Lady Marleigh…” Jill croaked.

Her throat hurt just to speak. Marleigh reached for a glass and helped Jill to a half-sitting position, bringing the rim of the cup to her parched mouth. Jill downed the water in large gulps. In the periphery of her senses, she heard sighs and a quiet sob which the others shushed.

“Thank you,” she said, settling back onto the bed. “But where are we, Lady Marleigh? What happened? Why are you hurt?”

Marleigh didn’t respond. She only smiled as she took the towel off Jill’s forehead and pressed her hand to Jill’s face. “Your fever’s gone down a bit, but you’re still not fit to be up.” She waved her hand and one of the other women stepped forward. “This is your physicker, my lady. The four of us have been taking turns keeping watch.”

“Keeping watch?”

The physicker—a woman who seemed to be a handful of years younger than Marleigh—grimaced. “The Patriarch did give us leave to tend to you, milady, but we cannot trust those brutes to guard, not when you’ve been out for several days—a week, at the most.”

A week…

Seeing her confusion, the physicker smiled. “Truth be told, I was afraid we couldn’t save you, milady. Thank Great Greagor that you decided to return to us.”

“Hush,” Lady Marleigh hissed, “don’t speak of such nonsense.”

The physicker bowed. “I shall get your meal.” She excused herself and, along with the other two women, stepped out of the cell quietly. They looked right, then left, before heading away.

Jill looked at Marleigh, who was already dipping the towel in a bowl of water and wringing it dry. The older woman dabbed Jill’s face and neck, wiping the grime and the sweat away. “Do you suppose you could take some dinner, my lady?” she asked. She pulled the blanket away and began washing Jill’s arms, one after the other. “If not, we could start from something light. Soup, perhaps?”

“Am I still dreaming?” Jill couldn’t help asking the question. Marleigh’s brown eyes flicked to hers, perplexed. Jill sighed then looked at the ceiling. “I was never allowed such an extravagant meal, Lady Marleigh. Tell me true: did you plead with the Patriarch? Is that why you have a bruise on your face? Did he hit you?”

Lady Marleigh didn’t respond. After finishing with Jill’s arms, she went on to offer Jill a change of clothes—drenched as they were now in her sweat. “A new set of robes has arrived. And don’t worry, I did not swipe them from the laundry.”

Lady Marleigh attempted to laugh, but her joke fell on deaf ears. Jill looked at her, worried and fearful for the kind lady’s action. Marleigh pressed her lips together, and then sighed. She went on to dip the towel in water again, wringing it before dabbing at Jill’s face.

“‘Tis nothing for you to be concerned of, my lady,” she said. “My actions are my own, and if they would see you hale and whole, then there is nothing more I would ask for.”

“Lady Marleigh—”

“I have nothing to lose. My family is dead. I was brought here under the cover of night along with dozens of my people. I thought I would die within the first week if not the first day. But then I saw you, my lady. Terror etched on your face but you refused to back down. You may not know it but a lot of the girls here look up to you.” She smiled at Jill’s apparent astonishment. “Take Ella, for example—the physicker you just met. She was heavily pregnant during the capture and soon lost her child. You soothed her and offered a flower made of paper for the non-existent grave. Beatrice, one of the other girls, once tripped while bringing a meal to the Patriarch’s chambers. She would’ve been beaten to death had you not stepped in and quickly handed her a new tray. She was inconsolable when she heard you’ve fallen ill.”

“There are more stories to share and I would regale you each and every one of them had we the time, but you see, my lady,” Lady Marleigh went on, “you are not alone.”

Jill blinked, felt tears already welling in her eyes, felt her throat already closing. Her breath hitched, and she looked away, burrowed herself deeper into her cot, but there was nowhere she could hide. The blanket was paper thin; it could not cover the quake overtaking her body as a sob slowly broke out of her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, brought her hands to her face. “I’m sorry, Lady Marleigh.”

She’d wanted to die—had wished to disappear. She’d prayed for it so fervently in the depths of her dream, for death to come quick and silent in the dead of night. And perhaps then, she would be free.

Free…like how she had been in the field of white snowdrops—flowers that now gave her strength the moment she thought of what had transpired there.

Clive was right. Shiva came to her and blessed her with the power to protect these people from harm. Even should she be bait to keep the Patriarch’s attention on her, if that allowed her countrywomen another day to live, then she would do it.

She held out her hand and grasped Lady Marleigh’s fingers. “Help me get up, Lady Marleigh.”

“But, my lady, you’re not yet fit—”

“I shall have the change of clothes, and I shall have what dinner my stomach can tolerate.” Despite the quiver in her voice and the tears streaming down her face, she sounded firm—firmer than she had ever felt before.

She had strength in her, burning and unbridled. If she should sacrifice herself so her people could live, then so be it.

I will find my light.

~ END ~

#clive rosfield #jill warrick #cliji #warfield #ffxvi #final fantasy xvi #final fantasy 16 #ff16 #final fantasy #fanfiction #ff fanfic #ff16 fanfic #zine piece #ff fanzine #ff16 fanzine #cliji zine

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dragonsoulage · 1 month ago

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✨Rules✨ & What I write ✍🏻

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I am like really shit in doing this stuff, but I have the feeling as a blog you kinda need to do it? Like to make it over all more accurate and idk feeling like a blog ?🤣💀 It’s not like I ever had a blog where I had structure, just like my life ✌🏻 But we will try to make some rules and some clarification for what I write in general ✨

•———•———•——✨——•———•———•——•

✨Rules✨

// When it should happen that you place a request, please be aware that I won’t do any OCs, the reader always will be (Y/N) although I try to avoid writing it like this. The character is always just described vaguely so anyone can imagine themselves how they like it ✨

// I am always writing about a fem!reader not that I dislike a gn!reader or anything but writing fem!reader is simply this what I am used to since I identify myself as female. It makes things easier for me and I am doing fan fiction for fun 💜

//when you send me a request it will maybe take some time even when I don’t have any other requests to do. I think we all know the feeling when we need to ✨feel✨ the scenario to actually write it. When I won’t do a scenario you send me I will tell you. It doesn’t mean that your scenario you requested is bad or anything but maybe I don’t feel good enough to write it or simply don’t know how

//sending me ideas is always welcome, especially for smau ✨ or any wishes you might have when I should add a character into another smau etc. I am happy to make it happen when I can 💜

//when you simply don’t like my content that’s fine with me but pls don’t write comments like: who does this and that? Makes no sense to me…blah, blah, blah. Then just scroll further and that’s it. Of course when you have a suggestion what would have made it a little better for you or what I could’ve add this is totally fine, as long as it is respectful. ✨

//pls don’t hint at my damn writing mistakes like grammar and spelling. I really, really try to avoid them as good as I can. But English is not my first language. I use different spelling and grammar tools but I guess some things are still not correct since I don’t pay for a full version for these tools. Like b*tch I pay for 4 streaming services, I have my limits 💀🤣 and for my smau stuff, I take a look and mostly I discover them when I already uploaded I am really sorry for this 🥲

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What I write ✍🏻

//I totally write fluff for you, so when you have an cute ideas I am so damn down for it 🤌🏻 fluffy fluff is balm to my soul 💗

//I am fine to write angst for you, especially for co plex characters that have a certain depth to them. And even when the char maybe is acting goofy I am still up to write something angsty. I enjoy making heartbreaking things. And I am just a girl I like listen to Sleep Token and be all melancholy and depressed ✌🏻

//I would write smut for you without blinking an eye 👀 I mean writing smut is kinda new to me. But I enjoy being a little smutty and I qm honest I am proud to have a straight face while reading smut in public 🤙🏻 when you have a request with something I won’t do, because I don’t feel comfortable I will tell you. But since I just don’t have enough experience to tell you exactly what I won’t write like any kinks or something, we need to find out but then I will add it here 😊

//I am ok with writing about darker themes, of course I will put trigger warnings in these posts. For example when domestic ab*se is mentioned or r*pe it’s always in a traumatic situation never to enjoy. Like for angsty stories. Just to make this clear. So I won’t write a smut with abusive content but I am ok with writing about these topics over all to make an angsty story.

//when I have anything more to add here I will do it ✨💜 I am simply new doing these serious blog stuff, idk even know what to write into that at all but well this here turned out. 💀✨

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What I write for✌🏻

I watched a lot of stuff I guess but not everything lol 🤣💀 probably I forgot something but well I still can add things 👀🤣 when I watched something new 👀

Demon Slayer

Jujutsu Kaisen

Naruto

Attack on Titan

Death Note

Tokyo Revengers (I am just done watching season 1 so well I just feel bold enough to write for characters that were presented in this season)

Hellsing (sorry but Alucard is like my favorite vampire but when you want to request another char like Pip that it fine with me too)

The Apothecary Diaries

I probably watched more that I guess I could write for but, then there are anime I watched, like Overlord but don’t have the urge to write anything to it, these are not listed of course xD But just for your I for your Information I didn’t watch One Piece or Bleach. These are animes that are still on my list ✌🏻

Since I like some specific games and I can count some as JRPGs I would write for these games too. So when you want to place a request for this I am more than happy to oblige 💕✨ even when I mostly post about anime but sometimes even I feel the urge to write the cutest Cloud Strife fluff I can think about. Or when you are into indie horrorgames like Sally Face I would be so happy to write for you💜

Final Fantasy 15

Final Fantasy 16

Final Fantasy 7

Sally Face

So I think we have everything, this was completely improvised and I am writing this like 2 in the morning 💀 well thank you for your attention when you made it this far 🤣🤌🏻 here a cookie🍪 for you and for the special ones a bubble tea 🧋because I am obsessed with bubble tea 🌚✨

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thevikingwoman · 5 months ago

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FFXIVWrite 2024 - Prompt 9

Emmanellain has some doubts about his capabilities. As usual I have lots of opinions about how his family treats him

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV | Words: 613 | Read on Ao3

Meryta Khatin (wol) & Emmanellain de Fortemps | HW patches Rating: Gen. friendship, support, expectations, past Meryta/Emmanellain

Lend an Ear

Meryta is surprised when it’s Emmanellain who greets her at Camp Dragonhead. Though he’d done his best to prove himself in combat, it’s not his strong suit. Trying to live up to Haurchefant – that’s a fool’s errand. All said and done, she’s happy to see him. Aymeric concludes his business, and they have to be on their way, but she lingers.

“Emmanellain – how are you? Truly?” she asks, once everyone save Honoroit has left.

“Meryta, pretty girl. I could use an ear, my friend.”

“I can stay and listen, Emmanellain.”

They’ve worked out whatever awkwardness they felt around each other after she ended their fling, and their friendship has been a steady growth since. She still feels her cheeks heat with pretty girl, but it is surely better than old girl.

“Honoroit, fetch the mulled wine after all. It’s blasted cold here.”

He runs dutifully runs off. She’s glad he’s here, though she wonders of the burdens on his shoulders. Then again, kids are more capable than anyone thinks, as long as you let them.

She seats herself in front of the fire with Emmanellain, and tries not to think of the last time she was here. She waits. Emmanellain starts talking soon enough.

“Do you really think the Garleans will come here?”

That was not what she expected. She shrugs.

“I think once we march on them elsewhere, they will probably worry about that first.”

“Yes. Of course. Surely.”

Honoroit comes back, and pours mulled wine for them both. It’s hot, and she warms her fingers, and blows on it. Emmanellain takes a big gulp, and for a moment she wonders if steam will come out of his long ears.

“Thank you Honoroit. Pray leave us alone.”

“Of course, my Lord.”

Honoroit runs off, leaving the mulled wine. Meryta takes a small sip.

“It’s not that I’m worried you know. Well, mayhap a little.” Emmanellain pours himself another cup. “I’m determined to do my best to lead everyone, but you see, Meryta, I’m not – him.”

“You’re not, Emmanellain. And you shouldn’t be asked to be.”

“Surely. I – do you think…” he pauses, frowning. “I have really endeavored to train and – but I’m afraid I’ll muck it all up.”

She reaches for him. It truly isn’t fair, making Emmanellain in charge here. The soldiers – like everyone – loved Haurchefant, and he is missed. Even was Emmanellain even the most skilled of knights, he’d still be unfavorable compared. She wishes Edmont would have asked him to do anything else. Given how well he’s taken care of Honoroit, she wonders if he would be better suited as a teacher. He shouldn’t have to be a warrior just because that is what his father wants – but that’s not a useful thing to say.

“I’m sure you will do fine, Emmanellain. No, I mean it. You have both been practicing your fighting but what’s more, running a garrison is also about the people here. Having the right people do the right thing. Figuring out what everyone needs.”

“I guess – I guess I can do that.”

Emmanellain looks at the drink in his hand. Meryta pats his knee again.

“You’ll do well enough.”

“I’ll do my best. I would like him to be proud of me.”

He doesn’t specify if it’s Haurchefant or Edmont, or even Artoriel. It doesn’t matter.

“I know you will, Emmanellain. Truly.”

“I’m glad hearing that, pretty girl.” He smiles at her and puts his mug down, bouncing back in his usual fashion. “Yes, of course I will. I will be the best – ah, mayhap the second best – commander this garrison has ever had. Now, off with you to Gridania. I will manage matters here.”

#ffxivwrite2024 #ffxiv #ffxiv fanfiction #final fantasy 14 fanfiction #ffxivwrite #emmanellain de fortemps #meryta khatin #ahh I have so many things to say about how he keeps being asked to do things he's unsuited for #i love emmy so much #writing about meryta #viking does ffxivwrite2024 #viking writes #published 9/16/2024

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ffxiii-et-al · 10 months ago

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My contribution to Phoenixflare week!

A wild take of Joshua Rosfield and Dion Lesage abducted after the Remembrance Ceremony. I always wanted to know what would've made Joshua trust Dion like he does in the game. I figured it would have to be big!

A far fetched little AU but I make no apologies! If you want a wild little adventure with these two as children, buckle up!

Released on the "Free Day" of Phoenix flare week in 2024. Not my most common ship but I LOVE them together! Not tagged as romantic on AO3 because they're nine and still believe in cooties!

#final fantasy xvi #ff16 #ff16 fanfic #Joshua Rosfield #dion lesage #final fantasy 16 #the Remembrance ceremony #final fantasy fanfiction #A03 #Phoenixflare #Phoenixflare week 2024 #free day #Dion ff16 #Joshua ff16 #phoenixflareweek #mine

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runicmagitek · 8 months ago

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A thousand years ago, a devoted knight bids his prince farewell. A thousand years later, Terence is assigned a group partner for his college history class—someone he knows quite well and hasn’t seen in a decade.

Until Next We Meet is a modern day reincarnation AU that @taxkha and I have been cooking up for a while! So excited to share these boys being absolutely stupid together as they reunite after years apart (in multiple ways) and face a new challenge: trying not to swoon for each other while getting that group project done!

[read chapter 1 on AO3]

#teredio #dion lesage #sir terence #final fantasy xvi #final fantasy 16 #fanfiction #WITH FANART!!!!#my writing #fanfic: until next we meet

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gloomy-kitty · 1 year ago

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𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 | 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞

warnings : suicide attempts/thoughts, death, angst, violence

notes : female reader, probably is best read on wattpad solely for format issues like stuff being emphasized bolded etc but it’s okay on here! also i have all the chapters written will be publishing the first two today and each one every. :) this is revised shorter version of my other Joshua fic hope you like it!!

Love...you did not understand the full meaning of that word when you were a child nor did Joshua Rosfield. You would tell one another how much you loved each other but never knew the full weight those words carried. So much happiness was shared between you two. Innocent childhood romance blossomed between you and the Phoenix. It was rumored you'd be married into the Rosfield family. Dominant of Leviathan married to the Dominant of the Phoenix; a prince of Rosaria and princess of the Crystalline Dominion. You hadn't fully understood what marriage meant instead you saw it as a chance for you two to never be apart. The last time you saw Joshua was the night before he left to go to the Phoenix Gate. You made a pinky promise to him you'd come see him again soon but alas that promise would never be fulfilled. It was not until your dearest friend—love left your life when you were but a mere nine years old. It was like a dagger in your heart you barely hard time to process your grief before the news had spread across Valisthea that the Phoenix had died; but to you Joshua Rosfield was more than the Dominant of the Phoenix he was you're only truest dearest friend and the love of your life.

A great sorrow soon followed once you learned the news of Joshua's fate. It seemed like your parents did not care—were incapable of dealing with your immense grief. Only months passed before your parents told you that you'd be married to the Prince of Sanbreque; it was political marriage to help protect the Dominion; no it was to protect your parents pride. You, the Dominion of Levithan were to be married off to the Dominant of Bahamet; your young mind did not understand what exactly was being said to you until you were on a carriage riding off to Oriflamme. Screaming and cries followed behind your wake as you begged for your parents to save you, of course it never came. Oriflamme was a grim place despite its beauty you wanted nothing more than to pass away and live alongside Joshua in the afterlife. Prince Dion seemed to sympathize with you but you closed off your heart to not allow anyone else in despite Dion's kindness towards you.

~•••~

After a particularly hard day you stumbled out of your room onto the private balcony that laid just outside your uncomfortable room. You sobbed uncontrollably as you climbed on top of the way railing shakily standing to you feet as hot tears streamed down your young face. You maintained your balance as you took in your surroundings. Drake's Head blue hue glowed warmly against your soft skin in the dark night. Oriflamme was beautiful but it was no place you wished to be. You wanted nothing more than to die. End this nightmarish life you had been forced to live. Stepping closer to edge you looked down. You were dozens of stories above the city, it would be painless death no doubt. Taking a deep breath you accept your death and stepped off the edge closing your eyes tightly. You waited and waited for death's sweet merciful embrace—for the wind to flow through your hair wildly as you fell to the ground but yet it never came. Instead you felt a tight grip on your wrist, you toppling backwards into a firm chest. "Please _____, don't do that. He wouldn't want you to do that." A gentle voice begged. You turned around to see who had damned you. Your ____ eyes met gentle teary amber hued ones. It was Prince Dion. "W..why?" You cried out. Dion shook his head, "I know things are hard for you right now but in time your heart will heal. I'll always be here for you." He smiled softly. You sobbed collapsing into his arms.

Years passed and Dion's words had not come true yet; your heart still ached but you only got better at masking the pain that haunted you. Dion and Terence quickly became your main support system, they were really the only people who you could trust and rely on. You had become a respected solider, fighting alongside the Dragoons and using your Dominant abilities whenever required. The people of the Holy Empire had come to finally adore you. they no longer saw you as an outsider or just a weapon to further the Empire's power; you were the beloved Princess of Sanbreque to be married to the beloved Prince Dion. Your kindness was know far throughout Storm.

It did not take long for your reputation to spread all the way to Dhalmekia. Joshua had been keeping up with your life as best as he could. He was alive and longed to see you once again but knew he couldn't expose his identity. So he lurked in the shadows getting information about how you were doing from second hand sources. It was barely enough to satisfy him but it was enough for the time being. When word about you had spread to a small Dhalmekian village he was passing through he perked up eavesdropping into the conversation between two merchants. "Princess _______ she's a good girl but she's a fool fighting for the Empire. Doesn't she know that Lord Kupka would destroy her? She's challenging him right now on the boarder." The gruff merchant spoke. "Ha! When I was passing through Sanbreque I got stopped by the boarder guards for lookin suspicious. But the Princess was there and told the guards to leave me alone I just had food. So the guards let me go. The damn bitch didn't realize I was carrying weapons for our soldiers. She's an idiot lettin me through." The scruffy merchant laughed loudly the other laughing with him. Joshua felt his blood boiling hearing them talk about you in that way. He marched over, "Don't talk about her like that!" He shouted angrily his fists clenching. The two merchants exchanged a look with one another before turning back to him laughing, "Or what boy? she your girlfriend or somethin? You look like you can barely hold a sword!" They laughed. Joshua without thinking punched one of the merchants across the face sending the man stumbling back. And before Joshua knew it he was fighting multiple men. The market ensued into chaos as they fought. Joshua easily outmaneuvering the older merchants knocking them to the ground. It wasn't until a scream broke the crowd causing them all to stop. "Stop it! You're making yourself look awful!" Jote shouted as she ran into the crowd pulling Joshua out. Jote shouted apologetically as she guided them to their chocobos before the pair quickly left town and did not stop until they were back into Sanbreque territory by then it was nightfall.

After much scolding from Jote as she patched up his wounds Joshua finally spoke. "Jote they were calling ______ degrading names. I couldn't stand by." He tried defending his actions. The brunette shook her head as she finished bandaging his knuckles, "I understand where you are coming from Your Highness but you mustn't act so recklessly. Things could of turned out bad back there." She sighed softly. Joshua frowned, "Yes but—"

"No buts your highness. Just use restraint next time." Jote cautioned before standing up to finish their dinner. That night Joshua spent gazing at the far off Drake's Head wondering if you and him were sharing the same sight tonight.

~•••~

Your arrival back to the capital city, Oriflamme was met with celebration. You had successfully faced off against Titan pushing back Dhalmekian forces further into their territory. It was only your second battle against another Dominant—your first being against Shiva's Dominant when you were only sixteen years old. You rode on top of your white chocobo waving gracefully at the people of Oriflamme. "All this just for pushing back Kupka?" You asked looking at Dion who rode by your side. The prince chuckled shaking his head, "It's to also celebrate your birthday on top of your victory at the boarder." He reminded. You gasped completely forgetting what the day was, your twentieth birthday. "Princess Princess! Here for you!" A young girl shouted as she ran beside your chocobo holding a pink flower. You took it from the girl giving her a warm smile, "Thank you my dear." You said the girl squealed excitedly before running off no doubt back to her mother. Once you finally got to the castle gates you hopped off your chocobo walking towards the crowd to personally thank everyone, Dion joining you. Babies were held in the air as mothers begged for you or Dion's blessing. It was strange still, how highly regarded you two were in the kingdom. The people truly loved both you and Dion. As you began to walk away from the crowd into the castle a man maneuvered his way through the crowd, "______! My lady, a gift for you." He called out handing you a bouquet of flowers. The casualness in which he called out your name made you pause. You took the bouquet and looked up to thank the man but he seemed to already be leaving the front of the crowd. Though you met his gaze for a few seconds before being ushered through the castle gates by the guards.

Ocean blue eyes...messy blond hair...and a smile you'd never forget. He mouthed something to you but you couldn't catch it. Your eyes were widened in shock...it felt as if you just saw a ghost. That man looked so much like Joshua...at least what you'd expect him to look like now. "Are you okay _____?" Dion asked suddenly snapping you out of your trance. His thin brows knitted together in concern, "You look like you just saw a ghost." He chuckled. You laughed nervously nodding, "Yes I'm okay. Forgive me I must just be tired." You tried to play it off.

That evening after the celebrations were over—at least for you they were, most of the city was still celebrating and would be all the way into the morning, you headed off to your room after a warm bath. Your room was adorned with the gifts you had received but only one stood out to you, the bouquet the man gave you. You walked over to it gently sliding off the paper that was wrapped around the stems. A note dropped out fluttering to the floor. Leaning down you set aside the flowers to grab the note. As your eyes read the note your breath hitched in your throat and you choked back a sob. 'I'll always be with you, my love. -J' It read. This is some sick fucking joke! You thought as you ripped the note in half and grabbed the flowers throwing them across the room. Joshua was dead...that man had purposely pulled this sick joke on you. Perhaps he wanted to see your reaction in person which is why he disappeared into the crowd so fast. You dropped to your knees sobbing. Life was so cruel.

The next couple of years were uneventful at least until the night that Drake's Head fell. It was destroyed, you had your suspicion on who had done it since the Crystal had been threatened once before by Ramuh but Dion had quickly taken care of it. It was a calculated attack since they attackers made sure both you and Dion were not in Oriflamme at the time. It did not take long after until you were back home...in the Crystalline Dominion. Though you felt even more miserable there, your parents had fled the city and into obscurity once the Empire took control over the city. You couldn't bring yourself to care that they had left you again, you were relieved in a way that you wouldn't have to talk to the very people who sold you to Empire. It did not take long before you and Dion were sent off again to separate boarders though the event that happened had left you bed bound of months nearly dead.

A horrific encounter with Odin had destroyed more than half of the army that were brought with you to the front lines. He attacked unexpectedly at night, leaving you no other choice but to transform into Leviathan. Despite being near the ocean you were absolutely dominated. As fell to the forest floor slowly reverting back to your human form Odin followed you. It wasn't enough that he humiliated you in Leviathan form he took it a step further and humiliated your human body beating you bloody. Though you never understood why he did not finish you off. He left you with the words his strong gripping your chin harshly as he forced you to look him in the eye, "I wanted to see how strong this Leviathan was and you disappointed me. You must grow stronger Princess, for Mythos." Then he dropped you to the ground walking away. A dragoon had found you and you were immediately escorted back to Oriflamme where you began the long healing process. King Barnabas haunted your dreams you were incapable of returning back to the front lines for nearly a year.

~•••~

You sat in your old room gazing at Drake's Tail boredly. The moonlight and crystal encasing your room in a soft light. "_____, may I come in?" There was a gentle knock at your door. "Mhm." You replied back. Dion stepped in clicking the door shut, "It's ridiculous isn't it?" He muttered. You raised a brow looking at him, "What ever do you mean?" You asked. "Father. Claiming that child is the reason why we annexed the Dominion." Dion spoke with utter disdain his words coming out like venom.

You shrugged, "Olivier is quite a creepy child. Your wicked step mother isn't any better either." You smirked lazily at him. Dion groaned, "Was she always so corrupt?" He asked taking a seat next to you on the window sill. "She was always nice enough to me, because I was a dominant I presume. And she was always kind to Joshua albeit she was overbearing..but to anyone who she deemed lesser then well...you know how she treats them." You said. Dion sighed not too content with your answer something else weighed on his mind. "What is it?" You asked. "we're being sent off to the front lines once again. Seems like Lady Annabella doesn't want us around. So get some sleep and I'll have Terence come fetch you in the morning." He said standing up. You froze eyes widened, "No I can't." You began. "Don't worry we'll be together this time. I promise." He tried to reassure you. Standing up he paused placing a strong yet gentle hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "Don't stay up too late reminiscing about the what ifs ______." He mumbled softly before leaving you be. Dion could always read you so well.

You hated the front lines but for once you were actually relieved to be back on the battlefield. Away from the negative memories your associated with the Dominion, the nobles were beginning to think ill of you for being so weak that you couldn't return to the battlefield but they were wrong you were strong you could persevere . "My lady." A solider spoke as they ran into your tent getting to a knee. You jumped in surprise accidentally pressing too hard on your pen, the ink splattering across the canvas. You groaned, "What?! I told everyone to leave me be while I map out our strategy. This better be good—" you began to rant but were cut off by the soldier. "My lady I apologize. His highness needs you immediately." He said. You raised a brow and quickly stood to your feet walking to Dion's tent. Pushing the curtain open you ducked your head slightly as you walked into the tent, "This better be impo—" you began.

"_______, look who came back from the dead." Dion motioned with his hand towards someone unfamiliar. You followed his movement and gasped, no it was impassible. You felt your head spinning and you struggled to find your footing, "Wha...no. No...this is some sick joke." You began to mutter holding your head with one hand trying to stabilize yourself. But it was too much for you to handle and you collapsed. The last thing you remembered was being held tightly in someone's arms, "______ it's me." The blond man spoke with a warm smile on his face.

As you came to your senses you groaned, your eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. "J..Joshua." You whined out. "I'm right here ______. It's okay, just lay down." The voice from earlier said gently holding your hand. Once your vision adjusted you met those familiar calm ocean eyes. It really was him, you weren't dreaming. "I...how are you here?" You asked in disbelief. Though you didn't wait for an answer, immediately pulling him into a hug. You had to confirm he was real—physically here by your side. Once he wrapped his arms around you, you felt the tears stream out. This was too good to be true.

Joshua held you tightly as he felt your body shake from your sobs and he couldn't hold it back anymore. He sobbed alongside you muttering apologies and sweet words in between cries. You kept asking him why..where was he but it was hard to even form a thought no less a sentence. Finally you two were able to calm down and slowly you pulled apart. Joshua's calloused hands cupped your face as he pressed his forehead against yours, "______, I have dreamed of this day for so long. I've missed you so much." He said with a shakey breath his eyes closed. Tears silently streamed down his perfect face. You cupped his face and nodded, "I have too. I felt like I had died the day I heard of your death, nothing felt the same anymore." You sniffled. Your hands reached into his hair as you ran your fingers through the golden locks. "I'm sorry I couldn't see you sooner. I had no other choice it was to protect us both my dear." He explained slowly pulling away from you so he could take a good look at your face. Though he held your hand gently, he felt as if he stopped touching you you may disappear from him. You didn't care why he had suddenly decided to show himself. You did not care how he got to Dion. Whatever the reason was it could wait.

You gazed into each's other eyes taking in every single feature. You noticed new moles that lightly doted his face. You noticed his chiseled features. He looked so grown; far different from his baby like features you once remembered. Joshua couldn't help but notice how ethereal you looked, you looked as beautiful as the day he first laid eyes on you albeit you were grown now—matured. He noticed the faint scar that graced your cheek, the beauty mark that had appeared on your face, he noticed every single detail and he loved it—you.

You broke the silence as you gazed into his eyes, "Joshua...I love you. Please don't leave me again." You confessed with a sob. Joshua couldn't help but cry once again and nodded, "I love you too ______. I always have and always will." He confessed pulling you into a kiss. But you couldn't help but notice he didn't promise to never leave you again.

next chapter ->

#fanfic #final fantasy 16 #final fantasy xvi #joshua rosfield #writings #ffxvi #joshua rosefield x reader #final fantasy fanfiction #ff16

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browniefox · 7 months ago

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Anyway here's a some FFXVI Recs for anyone who's interested.

A Lesser Dragon by ScribeOfReaper

Dragoon's learn many things from their namesake. Many of their techniques and traditions are derived from the dragons. Pride not least among them. A shame that no one told them; pride cometh before a fall.

It's really a shame that so little is done with Clive's Imperial Slave name. Like, what was the purpose of it? Why did it never come up again? How did he get that name? This fic provides answer to at least some of that, and is just a fun and well-written fic!

to kill fate by godblues

Ifrit is not the only thing that awakens on the night that Phoenix Gate burns, and bonds of consciousness manifest in ways Ultima never expected.

Unfinished :( but, still fun to read! I love big messy soulmate bonds, which is more or less what this is - all of the eikons have this kind of mental link to each other. It's inspired by Sense8, which I've never watched but know the general premise of. The relationships I feel are really fun and interesting, including some pairings I've either never considered or liked done in a different way.

Chains of Fate by ScribeOfReaper

In the Aftermath of Phoenix Gate, Anabella finds a most precious treasure. One that will not only guarantee her position as Empress and ensure the preservation of her line, but one that proves the power of her noble blood. For who else can lay claim to being the mother of not one, but two Dominants.

Unfinished but updates ~weekly. A very good and clearly well thought out alternate version of events where Clive is taken to Sanbreque with Anabelle bc she knows he's a dominant. The politics are so fascinating to read about! The different sides only grow more interesting, and the author just very clearly knows what they're doing - my best memory is getting to a part and feeling like ':( man this is hard on Clive I wish he had at least *some* support' AND LOW BEHOLD HE GOT IT RIGHT THEN!

These Things Are True by nightspear

After surviving the tragic fire that killed his father and brother, fifteen-year-old Clive Rosfield moves in with his mother and her new husband, the CEO of Bahamut Industries. Following a report from a concerned doctor six months later, Clive is taken into foster care and sent to stay with a man named Cid Telamon. Injured and grieving, Clive struggles to find his footing in a new home while his mother and stepfather fight for his return.

Top tier. Unfinished but updates ~weekly, and I *think* it's finished, just being posted spread out. One of those fics that could be read by someone with no knowledge of the fandom and you'd still get an amazing read and experience out of it. These kind of fics make me think of BDG's explanation of the commedia dell'arte, where the characters names foretell the role and relationships they'll have in the story, but again you could read this w/o having played FFXVI - And you should! Golden characteriation, relationships, distinct voices for each character, I'm eating this up and every update I am screaming and cheering and tearing through it!

my opus, daughter dearest by shepherd

The girl snuffled, trembling and pale and waiflike enough that Cid half expected that she would be carried away with the fading autumn leaves – and when Cid hoisted her up and placed his hand against the small of her back, it almost swallowed her entirely.

Short but cute oneshot of Cid finding Mid. There's a tragic lack of Mid fics, and it was just so nice to read one about Cid getting wrapped around her finger immediately <3

Second Flight of the Fledgling by Ghostline

As Joshua surrendered the Phoenix to his brother he felt the cold of death upon him, and Clive's fiery wings were the last thing he ever expected to see. He did not expect to wake in his brother's arms 18 years earlier, prior to the Night of Flames. Whether by Ultima, his brother, or Metia's divine grace, he had been gifted a chance to right the wrong that had torn his brother from him.

Unfinished by a couple chapters. There's a great many time travel fics in the fandom, but I am also rather picky when it comes to time travel, and this is the only one that's really scratched the itch I've been looking for. It's told mostly through POVs that are not Joshua, which I feel like works very strongly in its favor. The reactions of other characters is exactly what you want them to be and does not disappoint. Also has a great explanation for 'time traveled character in their younger counterpart, which one are they' that will stick with me forever I think and influence how I write some time travel fics.

Queen of Blood and Snow by AnxieteaAndCake

Jill approached the table, putting on the guise she resentfully called “the pretty little doll”. She walks, she even talks! She rarely thinks for herself, however, and never ruffles feathers! And so pretty! It was a cloak she’d donned many times in her life: in Rosaria, on the Iron Islands, even at the Hideaway before she’d finally become comfortable there. She hated it. It was like putting on rancid animal skins: unpleasantly slick on her skin and cloying in her nose.

A good fic that plays with two things that the game should have and never did: the fact that Gav is also a Northerner, and that Jill presumably still has a family or at least Kingdom that she could visit, if not try to make home once more should she wish. In general, Jill's situation with the Rosfields and how that'd impact her and her family is underutilized. This fic utilizes it! There are some things I'd change or tweak, and I can never get enough Gav, but I still think it's a great exploration of Jill going home - if it can even be called that anymore.

Encore by BrownieFox

Joshua wakes up in the Year of the Realm 860, confused but with knowledge of the future he should not have. With time, he will find that he is not the only one. or One by one, the dominants in the past come to remember a future that will never exist.

Wh-what??? How embarrassing, how did this get here? But of course I'm gonna rec my own fic. Have you ever read a time travel fic and were like 'gee, I wish this only focused on each character remembering the future and their immediate reactions to that kind of knowledge', then you're in luck bc that's what this is! It does have something of forward momentum, as there's a short time skip between each chapter, and you get to see how some things change bc of the Dominants remembering things.

#browniefox speaks #ffxvi #ff16 #final fantasy 16 #final fantasy xvi #fic rec #ficrec #fanfiction #brownies fic recs

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mydisenchantedeulogy · 2 years ago

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Pacify Her || Cidolfus 'Cid' Telamon

A/n: I couldn't help myself with this one. It was on m mind. I'm also considering writing a bratty reader smut piece for Cid too. If there are any suggestions for prompts for him please let me know. Enjoy.

Warning(s): oral (f), female reader, stress, semi-public sex (oral), Cid being a tease.

Stress is a silent killer.

You groan in frustration as you read over the requests again. Kenneth, the cook, needs more ingredients for his meal plans, and Tarja is almost out of herbs, among a hundred others amassing around the Hideout. With Clive and Cid out doing fuck knows what, there is no one to send on quests. You don't know how Otto deals with this day in and day out.

I made a promise to give him a break, so I need to figure this out.

You stand from Cid's desk, walking over to the Stolas across the room perched near the open window. The best you can do is send word to Gav to return. This sort of quest isn't his specialty, but you need urgent help. Once the Stolas is sent, you return to the desk to organize the requests. The dangerous monster-related quests you choose to hold for Clive, as he's more suited to them.

Fast at work, you hardly notice the door open until the sound of footsteps interrupts your thoughts. You glance up to notice Cid walk in, but you ignore him, returning to your work.

"No words to welcome me home?"

"You are not welcomed…not after leaving me with all this," you retort, lifting the requests to emphasize your point.

Cid snorts and walks across the room, standing behind you. His warm breath on your neck brings goosebumps to your arms.

"The kid can handle these, no issues."

You agree with a nod.

"I had that in mind when I arranged them. Gav isn't too engaged either; he can take a few requests to aid Clive."

"That's my girl," Cid states with a laugh. His gloved hands rest on your shoulders, adding enough pressure to make you hum.

As much as you want him to continue, you know there is work to be done.

"Be as it may, two is not enough to complete every task. Time is not on our side…so if you have nothing to do, take your arse to Martha's Rest."

"I have plenty to do," Cid retorts.

His thumbs press into your shoulders making you groan.

"Like what?" You ask softly.

Cid startles you as he suddenly yanks the chair back. You toss him a glare but he ignores you and stands between you and the desk.

"Pacifying you," he answers.

Your face heats up as you understand what he implies. Cid undoes your pants, helping you to remove them before he parts your knees and leans down between them.

"What if someone walks in?" You ask in concern.

"Best hope they don't," Cid retorts with a grin.

The coolness of his gloved fingers bites your bare flesh as he positions you, hooking one leg over the arm of the chair and the other over his shoulder. Leaning in, his warm wet tongue slides up your outer lips and teases your clit. A surge of pleasure shoots through your body making your muscles tighten in response.

Fuck, you needed this. It's been a long afternoon. You are desperate to come undone by this man.

Leaning your head back, you shut your eyes to take pleasure in the teasing licks that Cid gives you, tracing your outer lips like the arse he is. He has no idea how much this drives you insane, having every nerve touched on but the one that you need the most.

"Cid…please–"

A soft whine interrupts your plea as two leather-clad fingers sink into your wet heat; the chill causes your walls to tighten. As he fucks you briskly with his fingers, his tongue moves in unison, flicking your clit up and down. You can hardly move. Your muscles are so tight, begging for release. Desperate and needy moans pour from your open mouth as the warm pleasure in your stomach grows, slowly consuming you.

It starts as a tickle, then relentlessly an orgasm surges through your trembling body like a bolt of lightning. Your hips rise in response, but Cid holds them down as he encourages your release. It's too much. Your eyes flutter open, blurry with tears as you attempt to control your spasms.

When at last the moment fades and your body relaxes in a tired heap, you slide your weak hand into Cid's hair to stop him.

"How's that, lass? Suit you?" He asks with a wink.

You shiver as his fingers abandon your walls.

"I don't…fuck."

"Take a moment, then it is back to work. Lots to do," Cid orders with a grin.

He stands and leaves you in the chair, taking what papers you have organized and rummaging through them. You are speechless and more exhausted than before.

But at least this time it's in a good way.

#final fantasy xvi fandom #cidolfus x oc #final fantasy xvi #cidolfus telamon #final fantasy 16 fanfiction

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talysfics · 10 months ago

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Clive has a tendency to save Gav from falling over a few edges when they're on mission together.

Gav caught his gaze. "Oh, come now, it's just us men. No big fuss, right?" "Right." Clive tore his gaze away. "We should both get some rest." He started working on removing his own clothes, the usual routine of undoing clasps and fastenings.

Aka i'm still on my quest to get Clive railed by as many people as possible.

[Clive/Gav - Rated E - 2,615 words]

#final fantasy xvi fanfiction #final fantasy 16 fanfiction #ff16 #ffxvi #clive rosfield #clive #gav #clive/gav #what's their ship name? i don't think i've ever seen it #i know people ship them i just don't think i heard a portmanteau #one shot #talys's crazy fics

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 2 years ago

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Forevermore

Rising From the Ashes - Chapter 6 - (PREVIOUS CHAPTERS)

Rated: T

Fandom: Final Fantasy 16 Final Fantasy XVI FF16, FFXVI

Pairing: Clive Rosfield x Jill Warrick

Story Summary: Clive was alive. To Jill, it still felt as if she'd been thrust into a lofty dream by having her love back in her life. Yet saving the world didn't mean all their troubles ended there. Now with rumors of Joshua's survival spreading across the land, it seemed there was more work to be done than ever before.

Chapter Summary: After endless months of searching for his brother, Clive finds himself on the cusp of giving up. Yet, after following up on a breakthrough lead provided by Gav, Clive is instead given the chance to reunite with Joshua once more.

<<<<<>>>>>

The first knock came and went unanswered.

Clive's heart pounded ferociously as he knocked on the door for the second time.

The sheer anxiety threatening to choke him as he awaited for an sort of response from whoever was on the other side. The desperation to find out if all this seemingly endless searching had been for naught was leeching away in his chest and had him completely on edge. Heart hammering away in his chest as if he'd just beaten off hoards of monsters single-handedly yet he was standing completely still.

This was truly it…

All of the months Jill, Torgal and himself had searched; not to mention all of the inquiries done by Gav, Jote and the Undying's efforts came to this. After all this time searching nearly every nook and cranny in Valisthea for even a mere hint of Joshua's presence, had finally come to this single moment that would ultimately decide everything.

Clive was completely stricken.

Deep in his heart, he knew it had to be Joshua behind this door.

Yet, after those thirteen years of believing his brother was dead (by his hand no less), and being reunited only to be torn apart by fate once again - it felt almost too good to possibly be true. The more pessimistic side of himself he tried not to cater to was petrified that perhaps it wasn't his brother behind the door. That these past two seasons spent searching every inch of the realm chasing every lead was a mere wild goose chase. How perhaps he'd completely upended Jill's life once again to pursue a wraith in some blind, desperate hope when it made more sense for Joshua to have perished, lack of a body or not.

No matter what the outcome, Clive needed to know. He needed closure, one way or another.

As tempting as it was to simply give up if this all was for naught, Clive knew he would keep searching regardless. Continue looking for Joshua until he took his dying breath if that's what it took for him to even have a mere chance of seeing his brother once more.

Taking a shaky deep breath, Clive patiently waited.

All was silent for a extended moment until the abrupt sound of soft footfalls on the other side of the door had him tensing up. Clive listened closely and it was only all the years of a life of nothing but combat and survival that his ears even picked up the alarming sound of metal scraping along wood. Right hand twitched automatically as if gripping for his sword yet Clive forced it to remain still and away from its desperate want to reach for the blade upon his back.

No.

Clive would sooner get run straight through his heart than ever yield steel against his brother.

Even if it was only the smallest percentage that it was Joshua behind that door, Clive would rather take the risk than ever needlessly putting Joshua's life in danger from his bloodthirsty tendencies. All those years of fighting, killing, and doing everything in his power to simply survive another day, were being completely ignored even as his instincts screamed for him to do otherwise.

"...Forgive me, Jill…" Clive whispered under his breath in case this foolhardy idea ended with his life taken by a stranger's sword though his chest.

There was muffled shuffling before the sound of movement greeted him once again. Ears prickled at the sudden noise of softened footsteps that continued forward before halting right in front of the wooden door. Clive mentally prepared himself for what awaited on the other side while listening to a metal latch being unlocked.

It felt like years later before the door began to slowly open with a loud creak.

Time froze and Clive was certain his heart did as well, when instead of being run through by sharp metal, the face that greeted him between the cracks of wood was none other than his missing brother.

Clive gasped and could do nothing but stare in shock at Joshua's face.

What he saw made his heart positively ache.

Joshua's face was pale and thin, nearly gaunt, from deprivation of food and lack of sleep. His expression was a cacophony of so many emotions all at once. Shock, grief, abject misery, and it was if Joshua had seen a ghost with the way his already pale complexion quickly shifted into an ashen tone. Reddish gold hair lay limp and unkempt, messy and longer than he remembered it being. Frail frame positively swallowed by that familiar brown robe, not unlike the hooded man that haunted his life, the same ghost he'd chased for thirteen long years.

A search that was now finally over…

"...Joshua?" Clive's breathed out the name, merely mouthing the word for as little as his voice remained mute behind the roiling of overflowing happiness, alleviation, and this strange sense of grief growing rapidly in his heaving chest.

Yet, it only took watching Joshua's eyes rolling to the back of his head and his brother completely collapsing that tore him asunder from the sudden spell he'd fallen into.

"JOSHUA!" Clive yelled out as he lunged towards his brother as if he'd reacquired the Phoenix Shift upon witnessing his brother's abrupt descent to the floor. Only his years of fast reflexes provided him the ability to safely catch him before Joshua became acquainted with the unforgiving stone. Clive's arms shook as he safely cradled him against his chest. Emotions welling up instantly upon feeling his dear brother lying so limp and lifeless like he'd done when he'd died in his arms.

It was too much for him to take.

Clive could do little more than pull him against his pounding chest and hugged him as tight as he dared. He cried brokenly while pressing his face into the worn brown cloth covering Joshua's shoulder. It was only then as he sat kneeling by the open door with the scent of stew, the warmth of the fire and seeing his little brother alive, yet unconscious in his arms, did his broken heart begin to finally slowly piece itself together again.

Cursed hand remaining stiff yet steady upon the small of Joshua's back as his right gently brushed the long bangs out of his sleeping face. Staring at the brother he swore he'd never see in this life again. Clive didn't even dare dream he'd live to see this day…

Fully absorbing his brother's warmth and life, he pulled Joshua into the cradle of his arms, hugging him to himself he whispered around a guttural sob that he cried into his shoulder.

"Oh, Joshua. My brother, I f-finally found you…"

<<<<<>>>>>

After some careful maneuvering, Clive stood up with Joshua cradled in his arms.

Holding him like this, an adult though he was, reminded him of when Joshua was a mere toddler always following him around. The small boy happily protected in his older brother's shadow and grasping for his hand to hold. Those wonderful long days of playing in the gardens when Joshua would suddenly tire and sleepily rub his eyes as the sun grew closer to the horizon. The ten-year old Clive would pick up the two year old Joshua and place him on his lap where he'd fall asleep safe and happy, nestled in the circle of his embrace, as if he never wanted to be elsewhere.

Overcome with sudden emotion, Clive pulled Joshua closer before pressed a soft kiss onto his brother's crown. Entering the small cabin and closing the door with his foot, he made his way inside. Dark blue eyes fell upon the worn couch, and with little other options, he gently placed Joshua's sleeping form upon it. Lying his head gingerly against the worn threadbare pillow and covering him with the newer quilt nestled at his feet, Joshua slept on. Clive stood there for a long moment just gazing down at his brother. So tempted to pinch the flesh of his arm to be certain this wasn't some lofty dream…

But it wasn't.

Joshua was actually here…

Against all odds and reasoning, he was alive.

Suddenly, it was as if all the weighed burden that had been chained upon Clive's shoulders abruptly disappeared into the aether. The stress, worry and sleeplessness that had plagued him every second of every day these past seven months was finally gone. Vanished, as if it had simply never been there at all. Yet even so, his heart kept hammering fitfully in his chest, hands and flesh trembling from restless energy with nowhere else to turn. As if he'd been adrift at sea for so long that landing upon the sandy shore only served to make him more disoriented.

It was maddening.

There were so many questions he had that had yet to be answered. So many scenarios of how Joshua could have survived plagued him, scared him that he left his brother there alone and afraid with nowhere to go. Essentially abandoning him to his fate, allowed him to believe that he'd perished and left him alone on a floating, crumbling platform to fend all for himself.

The abhorrent pain he put his brother through without even knowing the other had lived on…

Taking a deep breath that sounded suspiciously like a broken sob, Clive nearly collapsed yet caught himself at the edge of the couch. Breath unsteady and head spinning, he forced himself to sit down before carefully coming to perch near his brother's hip. The thought of Joshua all alone, terrified and broken enough that he refused to show himself tore something precious from Clive's heart. Joshua had spent all that time since hiding himself away like a hermit, scarcely living on bare essentials, even going as far as to build him a grave next to their father.

For Joshua to be so broken to decide his only option was it best to remain in obscurity for the rest of his days…

And to think he would have if he'd never found him…

It broke his bloody heart.

Clive let out a trembling breath, didn't even bothering to wipe away the myriad of tears that tracked silently down his cheeks and dripping off the edge of his nose and bearded chin. He watched silently as the small droplets landed on the worn wooden flooring between his feet before dissolving into the grains.

So overcome, Clive wept.

"I'm sorry, Joshua…" he sobbed, trembling hand reaching out to gently rest upon Joshua's shoulder. Clive held onto him with shaking fingers gently grasping the brown cloth, utterly terrified that if he left his brother's side, he would merely disappear as if this was all a dream.

So there Clive sat and waited for him to awaken.

It may have taken quite some time, but eventually, Clive's heart calmed amidst the comforting sounds of the crackling fire, his brother's warm body pressed against his hip and the sound of his slumbering breath. With nothing else to do but wait for his eventual return to consciousness, Clive's gaze finally left his sleeping brother to began looking around the cabin. Dark blue eyes roamed curiously around the long-abandoned property Joshua had recently called home.

Yet another refuge where he continued to hide away from the world he helped save.

It broke Clive's heart all over again when it appeared Joshua had been living off only the barest of essentials he could afford with the little gil he must have saved.

A small cooking pot, a worn tome regarding topography resting upon a damaged table, a few articles of cheaply made clothing all stacked neatly by his peeling leather traveling pouch. The latter of which hung on a worn nail by the door and a measly blanket looked to be among most of the entire possessions he'd acquired in an entire two seasons of being on the lam.

"Oh Joshua…" Clive shook his head before burying his face in his only functional hand and did his damnedest to not fall apart again.

Recalling speaking with Jote about the Marquess and her travels those thirteen years, she confided in him about his brother's struggles. How he'd felt adrift, unwelcome, unneeded after so many years of running and hiding. And it didn't hit Clive until now that Joshua truly hadn't had a genuine home since he was a mere eight years old when they lived back at Rosalith Castle.

To think Joshua hadn't felt like he'd truly belonged anywhere for nearly two decades just made this all the worse. Joshua had been running from his past and his future most of his life it seemed. His reasoning for doing so was to keep one step ahead of Ultima and keeping Clive safe with little regards to his own needs and wants… Now after everything, he had been exactly doing the same. Hiding and running from place to place to stay hidden, but with the threat of Ultima completely vanquished, Clive couldn't understand why…

Even if he'd ultimately had perished from the fight, that was no reason for Joshua to stay sequestered away like this…

<<<<<>>>>>

It could have been seconds, it could have been days that Clive stayed still, mind adrift in equal parts relief and utter sadness. His hand holding tightly onto Joshua's as if to ground himself, their fingers loosely intertwined, as he clung to the warmth and reality that his brother was indeed here and alive.

Clive was suddenly torn from the reverie of his silent vigil by a small, broken voice.

"...A-Am I dreaming..?"

Clive got a pinching pain in his neck for how quickly he turned back to look at the source of that voice. His brother's gentle cadence bastardized by grief that hurt to hear yet the sight that greeted him cleanly cleaved his heart in two.

Joshua sat partially upright on the couch. The hand that wasn't holding his was a shaking fist atop his chest as if shielding his heart from further hurt. He stared up at Clive, his expression beckoning, tears glistening in the reddish lashes before careening in silent streams down his ruddy cheeks. The absolute misery lacing those baby blues was one Clive immediately wanted to take away from him. His little brother who'd always held his hand and wanted nothing more than to be at his side - Clive had failed him so many times and it appeared he'd already failed him again…

But not anymore…

Clive shook his head to answer him; his own grief stifling as he didn't even bother holding back the wetness that began leaking down his face when he finally was able to utter out a response, "No, J-Joshua. This is not a dream. Not unless we both are…"

Hand shaking in Clive's loose grip which felt muffled by the leather separating them, Joshua's other suddenly reached towards Clive's face. Clive stayed still as those thin trembling fingers got so close to pressing against his skin yet still refused to touch.

Joshua looked terrified - as if mere contact with his flesh would make him suddenly vanish…

Clive knew that feeling all too well…

Joshua's lips were trembling and his face contorted into abject misery. An expression Clive remembered brushing away when Joshua was so, so small. A misstep, a small rock, that was all it took before the wobbling Joshua to fall and scrape his knee in the gardens. Those large eyes welling with tears as he looked to Clive for comfort as tears began dribbling down his chubby cheeks and he began wailing. Clive remembers pulling the small toddler into his arms immediately; his voice soft and soothing as he carried him inside with a handkerchief tied sloppily around the injury. Even in the infirmary, Joshua's tiny hands refused to let Clive go, so there Clive sat, holding his brother tight as the royal physicks healed him.

Joshua had always turned to him for help and protection, so why should that change now?

Clive watched in trepidation as Joshua began pulling his hand back away and he could take it no more. Ever so gently, he reluctantly removed his hand from his brothers loose grip to reach out and gently grasp at his brother's pale trembling fingers. Joshua gasped, his chest heaved as he watched as Clive pulled them towards his own face to rest Joshua's palm against the scarred remains of his Bearers Mark inflicted upon his cheek.

Feeling his bother's warm skin beneath his hands must have broken the spell that had fallen upon him. "...Clive…?" Joshua whimpered when his pale fingers pressed to the thick scarring. Digits shaking as they clumsily trailed across the familiar features as if memorizing them all by touch. "I-I-Is it really you?"

Clive swallowed a sob back before answering with a nod and soft, "Y-Yes, I'm here, Joshua."

"You're really here… You're alive…" Joshua sobbed, a wane smile pulling at his lips as if witnessing an unforeseen miracle. Perhaps he was…Perhaps they both were. "You're alive! You really are…"

Clive lent forward to wrap his arms tightly around his brother's trembling shoulders and pulled him into a protective embrace. Their foreheads pressed firmly together as he peered into his brother's teary eyes. "I am. And so are you…"

"...and that's all that matters…" Joshua finishes with a whimper as he immediately wraps his thin arms around his brother and sobs brokenly into his shoulder.

<<<<<>>>>>

Joshua feels as if all the air in his lungs is burning like Hellfire. Gasping, choking on the guttural cries that leave his parched throat as he buries his face into his brother's chest and sobs and sobs and sobs.

There's this ache, this hurt, so deep it nearly leaves him keening in agony. Terrified this is is merely some hallucination, some vision of happiness that will be somehow ripped away from him when he wakes up, Joshua clings to Clive all the tighter in sheer defiance. Fingers aching as he grasps for a firm hold upon his brother's clothing as if he'd merely slip away from his hold.

How many times had Ultima ripped Clive away from him?

Deathly afraid like all those years they were forced to remain apart to keep the other safe. Who's to say it wouldn't happen again if he let go now? That this peaceful surrender he'd found himself suffused in wasn't just another vision or wishful thinking? That this was perhaps a fantasy brought upon by his seemingly constant grief that plagued him relentlessly since that day he swore he watched his brother die in front of him?

…Yet with his head resting on his brother's warm chest, Joshua found those fears gradually waning.

Clive was somehow alive right here and right at this moment…that's all that mattered, right?

All the hows and whys seemed so insignificant as he buried his face against the warmth of his brother's breathing chest and steady heartbeat. Recalling that small pile of ashes he'd sobbed into all those months ago. How in his desperate grief, he fully believed that was the closest he'd ever come to holding Clive again. Now it all merely seemed like a terrible dream he'd been thrust out of and thrown into the warm blinding dawn. To finally awaken to this new reality that his brother had lived, had found him, and the sheer relief of it all had him sobbing all the more.

…He'd never felt safer in his entire life…

Sobs abating slightly, Joshua merely melted into his brother's embrace he missed so much and never believed he'd experience again. Clive's heartbeat was a soft pulsating reassurance against his cheek, his comforting murmurs whispered into his hair, the tear droplets wetting his scalp, arms heavy and tight around him and Joshua could do little than go limp against his brother's broad chest.

If this was all a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

Yet as soon as that thought flickered in his subconscious a sudden physical pain had him reluctantly shifting. All those thoughts of this being a dream suddenly vanished when a sharp pain erupted on his hip. Shifting the brown robe aside, he noticed the handle of the butcher's knife digging into his pelvic bone leaving an red indent in his pale skin. Never had the rush of pain felt more welcomed.

Joshua's sobs soon turned to relieved laughter that sounded on the cusp of hysteria.

"...Joshua?" Clive asked gently, lowering his head slightly to look into Joshua's blurry eyes where he'd hunched over on himself as the laughter gave away once again to breathless sobs. "What's the matter? A-Are you alright?"

Afraid his voice would break should he speak, Joshua nodded shakily. The young man still lingering within his brother's space and resting his head upon Clive's shoulder where he'd gently pulled him closer almost instinctively. Clive had always looked after him, and no matter how old they were nor how many years passed between them, that would never change.

Joshua looked up at Clive and merely rested in his loose hold. It hit him now that Clive looked just as exhausted as he felt. That his brother had indeed been searching for him all this time. How all fruitless this felt in the face that his brother had lived and here Joshua was unknowingly causing him even more grief.

"I'm sorry…" Joshua whimpered, pressing his face into his brother's throat, "I'm so sorry…" he muttered against his skin yet instead of being admonished, Clive merely held him closer until his sobs petered out into silent tears.

Joshua's head comfortable on his brother's sturdy shoulder, Clive peered down at him with a sad smile. Leather clad fingers gentle as they wiped away his tears, Clive spoke, "There's nothing to apologize for, Joshua. Nothing at all, you hear me? You're here and you're alive - nothing else matters anymore. …Alright?"

Joshua nodded.

"Good. That's good." Clive muttered into his hair, his breath maneuvering Joshua's wispy reddish gold hair where his chin ultimately came to rest. His arms a sturdy foundation where they still wrapped around him to shield him from the world. All was silent for a long moment when Clive's face suddenly filled with apprehension and the slightest bit of hesitation before the words Joshua had been dreading left his brother's lips.

"...Forgive me, Joshua, but there's something I need to know," Clive took a steadying breath, "…What happened…?"

<<<<<>>>>>

The two brothers sat side by side on the couch.

Joshua still heavily leaning on his brother's stronger form as if lack of touch would make him disappear. Also, the months on end of disregarding himself, plus a lack of sleep finally taking their toll on his weary body, didn't help matters in the slightest. And as worried as Clive was about his frail condition, he stayed silent and patiently waited for Joshua to speak.

The Phoenix's Chosen took a deep breath, breaking the silence that had fallen like a cloud of fog over the room. His baby blue eyes peered over at Clive's gentle countenance before he ultimately spoke.

"...The first thing I remember after I died was waking up. I didn't expect that…" Joshua chuckled mirthlessly, trembling fingers wrapped tightly onto Clive's only functional hand. "I was barely there though. My eyes stayed closed. It - It felt like that moment between sleeping and waking up. I was in a fog yet the most shocking thing was that I felt no pain. That never happened before, and while I thought perhaps I was merely in some afterlife, I quickly realized I wasn't…"

"I couldn't move, I could barely open my eyes yet everything was blurry. All I saw was lights, shapes, sounds…" Joshua's voice tapered off before he looked over at Clive beseechingly.

Clive felt sick listening to his brother speak. After he'd healed Joshua, Clive had walked away without realizing what using the Phoenix powers on Joshua had done. Not only bringing his brother back but leaving him there… All the pain he'd caused his brother without even knowing he was alive…

"I heard your voice," Joshua whimpered, "You were speaking and I-I tried to move, but I couldn't. It seemed like forever until my vision was finally clear and I saw you walking away from me." Joshua's voice trembled. Hands now clenched in fists, shaking as he stared into the fire and the long-forgotten pot of stew he'd put on what felt like a lifetime ago.

Clive wanted to reach out, to pull his brother close to comfort him, yet he needed to know what happened…

That didn't halt the guilt that was slowly devouring him alive…

Joshua's face screwed up as if he was in pain before he quoted, "...It seems Ultima's Power was too great for this Vessel all along. Perhaps I can use it to set things right… and see Ultima's Legacy - Bearers, Dominants, Crystals, Magick - consigned to the flames."

Clive's breath caught as his own words that were stated back to him verbatim.

Recalled those desperate moments of wanting it all to end. For this hell to finally be over! He'd already lost his brother and Clive was ready and willing in those moments to give up his own life to save his love, his family, and friends at the Hideaway and the rest of Valisthea from the same fate… All the while, not even knowing his resurrected brother had heard the whole damn thing.

He peered over at his brother and witnessed the glassiness of Joshua's eyes overfilling with fear and grief that nearly stole his breath with its intensity. Clive knew the words he spoke that were coming, an agony of knowing what that statement meant to his barely conscious brother…

"I tried to scream your name, Clive. I… I finally got my mouth to open and all I intended to do was to try and get you to stop! That you didn't have to go through with it… but nothing come out. I - I couldn't even speak! I…" Joshua opened his mouth, closed it with a sudden sob that had him nearly keeled over as he gasped out the last words he believed his brother had spoke, "Than you said, 'E-Even if it means the end of me… These…These are our terms…'" his voice tapered off as he pressed his mouth into his hand and let out a muffled sob into his palm.

All was silent for a long time other than Joshua's trembled breathing.

Clive never recalled being left completely speechless before… Yet what could he say in the face of yet another of his failures?

"Joshua…" Clive whispered brokenly, his shoulders slumping in abject misery.

Yet his brother wasn't done.

"All I saw were flames, Clive. The heat was so intense yet I couldn't move. For the first time in my life, I could take a full breath without pain yet it didn't bloody matter because you couldn't hear me! I was thrown across the room! I could do nothing! Not even open my eyes to watch because the heat and the light became too intense…and I just remember lying there, feeling so damn worthless and helpless! The sounds of flames, the crystal cracking and shattering…You were screaming…" Joshua whimpered, grasping yet again at his brother's hand and gripping it til his knuckles turned a bone white.

"When I was finally able to open my eyes, you fell on the ground. Yet before I could do anything to help, your body was completely consumed in the flames. It was so damned hot, all I could see was flashing white. I - I must have blacked out for only a moment and when I came to, I was finally able to scream… But you never answered me." Silent tears leaked down Joshua's face, "I crawled to where I'd last seen you, but there was only a pile of ash and dust remaining. What I believed was all that was left of you."

Clive remained completely silent.

Joshua peered off at nothing. Once overtly bright blue eyes were now listless, an old empty pain plaguing his chest. The younger man suddenly scrubbed at his face and the sparse ginger scruff growing where there was only baby soft skin before.

All of a sudden, Joshua's eyes were staring into his own, "You were gone, so was the crystal, Ultima, the Dominants you held, everything… I didn't feel you anymore. I still could sense the aether flickers of Jill and the Phoenix resting inside myself, but that was all." Tears began leaking in rivers down his pale cheeks. "I knew then in that very moment that you'd used the rest of the power I'd given you to heal me, gave me back the Phoenix you'd been blessed with… then you were gone. Dead."

"...Joshua…"

"No! You were dead, Clive! I swore you were!" Joshua screamed, bottom lip trembling. "You traded your life for mine. I felt you take my sickness, my injuries and put them upon yourself and destroy the last MotherCrystal and all its magick completely on your own. All while I laid there completely helpless and could only watch you being swallowed in a cyclone of flame and turned into ash…"

Clive whimpered, "Joshua, please…"

"No, Clive! I couldn't fucking bear any of it… So like the bloody coward I am - I ran." Joshua was panting for air, his breath distorted with sobs as his face was a horrible combination of vitriol and pure misery.

The only thing Clive could ask was a whispered, "…but why?" Clive's hand was trembling, the stone one remaining stiff as always in its leather prison as he forced his hands to remain at his side worried any comfort he offered Joshua at this point would be refused outright.

Joshua let out a breath, his eyes leaving Clive's face to instead peer off once again at nothing. He then spoke in empty tones, "The Phoenix, in his dying breaths, must have taken me out of there once I blacked out. I woke up utterly alone in the forest. So, I ran, brother. I couldn't face what happened, I couldn't face my failure and all those who worked so hard at your side… I didn't deserve to live when you weren't."

"None of that!" Clive seethed, grabbing at his little brother and pulling him as tight as he could against his trembling chest. "You saved me - you helped saved all of us! Don't you dare even start with that…"

Joshua tensed in his arms, the room falling as quiet as a graveyard for a long moment before Joshua began openly weeping; his thin frame shaking like a leaf against Clive's much broader form.

"I couldn't face anyone, alright?!" Joshua wailed, voice mumbled into the leather upon his shoulder. "I couldn't fathom seeing anyone, especially Jill, without you! All those at the Hideaway who look up to you, all you built, all you worked so damned hard for…You were the one supposed to save them! To protect them…it was never supposed to be me… Why do you think I told you all those things before I gave the Phoenix to you!? These people look to you for guidance and protection! I didn't deserve you as a Shield nor a brother! The world needed you more than it ever needed me, don't you understand that!?"

Clive shook his head, words failing him as he could do little in the face of the seething self-loathing etched in his brother's tone.

"So I did what I do best, Clive - I fucking ran from it all! It's all I've been doing most of my life. To hide, to slip away like a ghost. I never intended to be found. I couldn't face it. I couldn't face anyone without you!"

"B-But why though!? How could you possibly believe you hiding yourself is better for anyone!?" Clive finally broke, breath unsteady as he pulled back and stared at the misery-laden face of his brother.

Joshua remained silent for a long time, his eyes downcast before they lifted and the pain laced in them had Clive's heart feel as if it was being crushed by Garuda's merciless talons. "...You're the one they believe in, Clive." he said like it was the easiest thing in the world, the words echoed like that night at Phoenix Gate. "You've always been the one people believe in."

Nostrils flaring, Clive gripped Joshua's shoulder with his only functioning hand and stated, "You're wrong. I never asked for it either, Joshua. You think I want to be responsible, you think I wanted to fulfill this destiny I never asked for? I only did it because of father - because of Cid - …because of you!" Staring into his brother's disbelieving eyes, Clive continued, "I'm only strong because of those who surround me. Because I have something to fight for…" Clive's hand was shaking as he reached out to cradle his brother's cheek. Foreheads pressed together as the tears dripped in torrents down his face. "Do you know what that is?"

Tears slipping down his face, Joshua shook his head.

"It was you…" Clive whispered, "For all those years, you were the only thing that kept me going… That kept me breathing when I wanted nothing more than to throw myself off a cliff and hope the rocks at the bottom would be sharp enough to end my wretched existence."

Joshua shook his head in misery until Clive stilled it with a firm hand.

Clive waited until Joshua met his eyes once again before he continued, "It was you… It's always been you, Joshua. You're the reason I found any reason to continue this fight at all. So don't feel for one second that you're not worth the pain I went through. I would do it all over again, I would carry these burdens if it meant finding you and being with you once again… So don't you ever think of yourself as unworthy because you mean more than the entire world to me. Do you understand that?"

"Oh, Clive… I'm sorry..." Joshua wailed and Clive instantly wrapped his arms wrapping around his brother's shoulders and pulled him against his chest.

Clive held Joshua closer, hand resting on the back of his brother's hair and gently cradled him to his chest. "Like I said already, Joshua...there's nothing to forgive."

<<<<<>>>>>

Some Time Later...

Joshua let out a sigh, "So...Since you got a question, I feel it only necessary I get one too."

"Of course."

"...How did you find me anyway?"

Clive chuckled, rustling his brother's hair playfully before resting his head back against the top of the couch. "You didn't make it easy, I'll tell you that much. You're as slippery as an eel it seems."

"Rude," Joshua muttered but laughed anyway, his head refusing to lift from its comfortable perch on Clive's shoulder.

Clive remained silent for a spell before he replied, "It wasn't Jote if that's what you're wondering."

Joshua looked confounded before Clive clarified.

"It actually was Gav."

Joshua's brows lifted, "...Really?"

"Mm-hmm. He'd been following rumors in Rosaria and even some small parts of Sanbreque but what put this one over the edge was the fresh flowers you placed on Father's grave…and my grave apparently." Clive flashed him a broken smile. "I'm so sorry, Joshua…If only I'd known that you survived, I never would have left."

Joshua looked stricken. "Me too…" he muttered.

Eyes falling to his lap, fingers grasping at his brown robe as he got lost in his own world it seemed. Instead of allowing his brother to commiserate alone in grief, Clive pulled him to rest on his shoulder. The young man curling up to place his head upon his brother's chest like he did when they were children. It was different now than when they were kids, with Joshua being taller by a mere inch, yet Clive didn't mind. Merely guiding his brother to lay his head on the hollow of his throat as he perched his cheek upon Joshua's reddish blonde locks.

No words were necessary as they basked in the moment.

Joshua in his misery, in his certainty, that he was indeed completely alone. And Clive, who strove so hard and nearly gave up the search only to find his brother yet again in a place he least expected.

It almost felt too good to be true, but for once, it seemed sometimes that miracles do indeed happen.

<<<<<>>>>>

The peaceful calm that settled over the small interior of the rundown cabin was suddenly interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

Clive started slightly and Joshua flinched from where he'd been peacefully beginning to doze upon his brother's shoulder. The two remained silent for a moment before they heard the all-too-familiar whines of Torgal muffled from outside.

Shaking his head fondly, Clive gently squeezed Joshua's shoulder before calling out, "Doors unlocked. Come on in, Jill."

The door creaked open, and in a blur of grey fur and slobber, Torgal burst in through the open gap and immediately ran towards the two brothers seated upon the couch. The massive puppy barked happily, his tail wagging and knocking upon the furniture as he excitedly greeted them both. Those beguiling golden eyes beseeching Joshua for affection which he fondly acquiesced.

Jill was much more demure as she slowly walked inside the cabin. Hesitant and hoping she hadn't interrupted a conversation Clive and Joshua needed to have, but it had been well over an hour since she'd left him and couldn't bear the wait no longer. Torgal and his lack of patience didn't help either.

Regardless, there would be plenty more time for the brothers to speak later.

Icy blue eyes couldn't help but peer around the surroundings before resting upon Clive and Joshua, the two brothers resting shoulder to shoulder on the worn couch. The ease and comfort in which they leaned against the other had her shoulder's deflating. It appeared all was well after all.

Jill smiled tenderly at the scene.

"Reunited at last…again," she hummed kindly while approaching. Smile so fond as she watched Torgal resting his large head on Joshua's lap begging for pets. The younger man in question was quite noticeably thinner than she remembered and appeared utterly exhausted, but underneath it all, there was a happiness and relief in his eyes that simply couldn't be faked. The rest could easily be remedied with time, sleep and food.

Joshua chuckled suddenly as Torgal pressed his cold wet nose into his stomach, rubbing at the wolf's head and smiling so wide his cheeks hurt from the strain. It all felt so perfect now. Torgal's easy affections, the warmth of his brother's body a tether to this reality and Jill's kind smiling face had him choking back sudden tears he couldn't help but bury against the wolf's grey and white pelt.

The relief and happiness of it all was simply overwhelming.

Instead of tears of sadness, these were of pure relief.

Clive's hand was shaking as he rubbed comforting circles on Joshua's back. There was still much to talk about, lots of baggage to unpack, but Clive knew it could wait. His eyes slipped from Joshua to the love of his life standing nearby. Jill's ever-present steady smile and presence had him feeling a sense of calm she always exuded. No matter how hard life got, Jill had always been his rock and it seemed even in cases of unbridled joy, it was much the same.

It took a few moments, but Joshua pulled back from Torgal with a beaming radiant expression. His thin pale hands cradling the hound's jaw and smiling and laughing in such a carefree manner as Torgal licked the tears from his face.

"I missed you too, boy," he whimpered as Torgal nuzzled his face in his neck. "So, so much..."

Tears lingering in her lashes, Jill slowly approached the couch and wordlessly bent down in order to pull the seated Joshua into a hug. Hands grasping at his brown robe and holding his thin shaking form to her chest. So many words she wanted to say in this moment to the young man she'd always loved like a brother, yet they all felt hollow in the face of the joy of simply having him here.

"It's so good to have you back, Joshua," Jill whispered, quickly kissing his cheek before she stood back up. "Ooh!" she gasped lightly when Clive abruptly pulled her to sit upon his lap to keep her close. Clive winked before flashing her a mischievous grin that she couldn't help but return.

There they sat, all four of them huddled closely like when they were kids…

Together.

Where they should always be.

Clive couldn't help but smile. A real one that had been so hard to fake these past two seasons now resting upon his lips as easy as it was to take another breath. Gently holding his cursed hand upon Jill's waist and her slight weight resting on his thighs, she leaned down to rest her tired head upon his shoulder. Clive pressed a lingering kiss into her soft dove locks and let out a breath it felt he'd been holding in for nearly a lifetime.

A true breath of pure relief.

"...So, where to now?" Jill asked against the shell of Clive's ear.

Clive smiled, pure contentment filling his heart when Joshua looked over at him with Torgal acting like a giant puppy while trying to lay himself upon Joshua's lap. The young man laughing as the wolf somehow succeeded.

It had been nearly two decades since this journey of theirs had started. The lives they knew upended at the tragedy that befell at Phoenix Gate until they found themselves together again in this derelict cabin. All of them going through their own personal hell with nary a glimmer of hope to latch onto until fate allowed them to reunite once more.

All the struggles, loss and pain that constantly filled their lives lead them to this very moment.

It wasn't until now that all of the misery they had to endure finally felt worthwhile.

"Home." Clive said, a tear of pure happiness slipping down his face as he wrapped his arm around Joshua's shoulder and pulled him into their group embrace, "We're going home…"

The End

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