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paperstarwriters · 1 year ago

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Sleep

Muriel x Reader

Warnings: Sleepy reader, a kiss is used to shut the reader up. Muriel manhandles reader a bit

Summary: It's late. You're tired, and Muriel is too. All he wants to do is bring you to bed.

[A/N]: Reader is currently me rn. I should really head to bed lol. Also, if this looks familiar, this is the file "A bed and a book" from that WIP Wednesday I did a while ago. (I'll link it tomorrow lol. I need to sleep...)

Masterlist | The Arcana Masterlist

Word count: 2,021

─────── ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 ───────

Muriel watches you amidst the growing cold of the hut.

He watches you tremble and shiver, as you work, too focused to notice your own quaking limbs, or too busy to give it any attention. The fire dies in the fireplace, and though there was plenty of firewood that he could easily restock the fire with, a roaring fire with no one to watch over it only ever spelled trouble.

Usually he didn't even let the fire keep going this late at night, but you needed it while you worked.

You also, however, needed sleep.

"It's late."

You hum, continuing to scribble as you mutter something about a fleeting idea before you respond.

"I know. Just let me finish this."

Muriel huffs. That's not the first time you've said that and he knows full well that it won't be the last either. He pulls himself from the warmth of the bed, where he had been waiting for you, and plants his feet on the cold floor. The feeling makes him flinch for a moment, and he decides with a sigh, that he would give you one more chance.

"No. It's really, really late."

"You don't have to wait up for me."

In another moment, in another context, Muriel might have blushed at being caught caring for you. At being caught waiting or anticipating your return to his side. Currently however, a streak of frustration, fleeting but hot, burns in his chest. He "doesn't have to"? If he didn't wait up for you, you'd waste yourself away working on your projects. If he didn't wait up for you, he'd have to fall asleep and wake up to empty arms as you sit there just within reach and yet so far away. If he didn't wait up for you, would you ever sleep at all?

Muriel scoffs, and he wonders if you can hear it through your work. He wonders if you can hear him stand from the bed, and stride over towards you. Hearing you gasp as he wraps his arms around you, he figures you didn't, which only serves to target the selfish and greedy part of him—the part that makes his frustration flare all the more at the absence of your attention, the absence of your body pressed against his own.

The look you give him, wide eyed and filled with a startled awe, serves to soothe him for a moment, easing that need for attention, but it brings back to his focus the dark circles under your eyes, and the tremble of your hands hovering over your paper. It's a horrible combination really. The selfish and greedy need for your attention, for your skin against his, made virtuous through his concern for your health and your desperate need for sleep. It made it all the more hard to tell the line where he was being greedy, and where he was being concerned. Yet, if he wanted you to be happy and healthy by his side, could that even really be called greed?

As shock melts into confusion, Muriel can feel your trembling body melt against his, relaxing into the offer of sleep and rest that you continue to deprive yourself of. Greed, Muriel decides, is a kind and necessary thing to indulge in if it means you get to rest.

"It's late," he reiterates.

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you glance around the room, clearly not believing time to have slipped past you so quickly. Knowing you’re delirious with exhaustion, he doesn't trust you to realize that he had stocked the fireplace earlier that day to burn late into the night, and that no, he did not do anything that may speed up the burning process in any way.

Instead, he drags his hand down to your own, trembling as you grip your pen as if you feared it might be ripped away from you in any given moment. Though the temptation to do so is there, he knows full well how ineffective that would be. Instead, he trails his hand down your forearm. The rest of your arm is still pinned down by his in a half hug, but he doesn't even need to exert much pressure to keep you in place—your exhaustion doing most of that work for him.

Fresh from the confines of the bed, his hand and body still cling to the remains of warmth, a sharp contrast to your own, left night-chilled in the absence of the fireplace. It's clear, with the trail of goosebumps and shivers that appear in the wake of his touch, that you're freezing right now, and in desperate need of blankets and warm, warm cuddles.

His hand makes his way down to yours eventually, and he can see the twitch of your fingers as you're tempted to drop the pen to take his hand into your own. Pressing his thumb to the seam of your wrist and your palm, Muriel feeds the temptation, massaging the tender skin as best he can manage despite his calloused fingers. He’s careful not to seem too desperate for you to relax and drop your work to follow him back into the warm embrace of the bed. Up and down, he works his thumb from the centre of your palm to your pulse on your wrist. Little by little your hand sags in his hold, your pen drooping and slipping from loosened fingers, until it finally falls and leaves a splatter of ink on the wood of the table.

Your eyes dart down and your hand tenses up prepared to apologize and clean up your little mess, but Muriel refuses to let you fuss over something so trivial when your own health is at risk. His face dips into the crook of your neck, his lips spattering kisses against your skin luring you further into his embrace until your eyes flutter closed and your head bobs against his shoulder, fighting a futile battle against the urge to sleep.

Letting go of your hand, and slipping his hand instead beneath your legs to scoop you from your seat, Muriel realizes that he too must be a little delirious with sleep. Blush grows against his face, while he continues to press kisses against your skin, but he doesn't have much energy left to care about how embarrassing his affections may be. Instead, he sighs his lips still pressed against your skin as he pulls you into bed.

"Next time, I'm dragging you to bed the moment the sun goes down," he blurts, uncaring for any embarrassing connotations you might derive from his words. Instead, he focused on holding you close against him, in his arms where you belonged as you wormed your own arms around him, finally settling into his embrace.

At least, he thought you were settling into his embrace.

Despite how your body was nearly a puddle of boneless goop in his arms, exhausted and ready for sleep, you try to turn looking back to the table where your pen and papers lay.

"my pen—" you try to argue.

"it's fine," he mutters, his voice a bit gruff with his own exhaustion. "Go to sleep"

"But the ink—"

"it's fine," he grumbles again, squeezing you tighter in case you tried to slip free. "Go to sleep"

"But—"

Muriel sighs again, loud and irritated and tired, before he leans in and seals your lips with his own. He knows that tomorrow, if he thinks to long about the events of last night, he'll burn himself with how hard he'd blush, but today, all he wants is for you to go to sleep and get some well deserved rest. He's willing to sacrifice a little embarrassment if it means you sleep.

Even if he'd find himself embarrassed tomorrow, he hopes that it'll be washed out with the pride he feels in the moment, burning bright and making his chest tight, as he feels you sag in his arms. You’re melting from his kiss alone and that makes his heart soar. The effect he has just from kissing you is wonderful sure, but it's the evidence that he knows you that makes him feel the warmest. He knows how to get you to relax. He knows how to make you feel comfortable enough to finally go to sleep. Pulling back, he settles himself back into the crook of your neck, grinning from accomplishments, as he feels you finally seem to drift of to sleep.

Of course, seem is the word of focus here. Since, moments later, Muriel can feel you once again trying to squirm free from his embrace. Though he keeps his eyes closed amidst your little struggle, he holds you tighter, muttering in a sleep raged voice for what seems like the hundredth time.

“Go to sleep.”

You fall limp at his request, though he's more than awake enough to realize what you're trying to do. Waiting and biding your time for him to fall asleep before you. He sighs at the notion, and changes tactics.

"What's wrong?"

You're silent for a moment, still feigning sleep even if he can feel your heartbeat's staccato rhythm from where you're pressed against his chest. He doesn't push though, almost hoping that you'd fall asleep while pretending to do so, but he still waits for your reply, whether it comes or not.

"I just... I have an idea I want to write down."

"You can write it down tomorrow."

"But what if I forget?"

Muriel pauses. The temptation to wave away your concerns with a simple argument like, "if it's important you'll remember tomorrow," sits on his tongue, but he can't help but reflect an answer onto himself. Perhaps it was the constant wash of affection that you'd give him, or how you were often so eager to denounce whatever quiet self-deprecating thoughts he might voice aloud, or maybe it was just how often he was spending time outside of himself, and with you, or Asra, or the others. He doesn't know what exactly caused it, but he knows how it affects him now. He's important, and yet he was forgotten. To you, this project is the same.

This matters to you. Denying its importance will get him nowhere he wants to be.

"You can tell me," he offers, "I'll remember it."

"You're already half asleep."

Muriel cracks an eye open, "you are too."

Your attempt to refute his statement falls short when you yawn, which makes him yawn as well, though his is half muffled around his smile.

"alright, fine," you mutter eventually, tucking your face against his chest. Your arms squirm from their place trapped beneath his own, this time though, rather than escaping, you wrap your arms around him as you finally settle in his embrace for good.

He listens as long as he can, to you talk about the solutions to the puzzle you have noted down in your book, but you're mostly talking to yourself, thinking through the issue, refuting your own claims as you drift off, voice growing weaker and weaker before you finally sag against him, and Muriel can finally settle in against you, able to fall asleep now that you're in his arms, and he is in yours.

Before he settles however, he takes a moment to appreciate his reward, pressing a kiss against your eyelids, before he leans back and appreciates your relaxed and sleeping expression, whispering. You deserve rest like this. You deserve to relax. You've been so busy lately, he doesn't want to see you in pain.

When he finally tucks himself by your side and presses his cheek against your skin, Muriel can't help but chuckle at the chance to just fall asleep just like that. He knows it clings to him now. That falling asleep would be just as easy as that, but it hadn't always been. Sitting up forced to deal with swirling thoughts alone had once been the bane of his existence, but now, curled up with you by his side, he could talk if he needed to, just like you needed to earlier.

Now, falling asleep is as easy as one... two...

....

In the dying moments of his consciousness, Muriel continues to stare at you, pressing another kiss against your sleeping face, as he whispers precious words, fully aware you can't hear him. It doesn't really matter anyways. He'll tell you them all again tomorrow night. And if you can't hear it then, he'll tell you the next day, then the day after that, and the day after that.

"I love you," he mutters. "Goodnight."

#the arcana #muriel #x reader #reader insert #Muriel x reader #Muriel the arcana #Muriel #the arcana muriel #the arcana muriel x reader #muriel of the kokhuri #muriel x mc #muriel x apprentice #Paper Tells Tales

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manicpixiefelix · 1 year ago

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 8.

Summary: The fallout of arguing with Oliver, not fighting with Farleigh, Felix hooks up with your not-girlfriend, and so you provide comfort to his sort-of-ex.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: someone makes a move on the reader while they're very very drunk and the reader is far more sober, but it doesn't go past kissing, if that's something you're possibly concerned about.

A/N: 5424 words. welcome back. this one goes many different places in the span of one night. the farleigh of it all. the annabel of it all. im worried this one might feel OOC so id really like to hear if there's anywhere i could improve on my characterisation, what worked, what didn't?? as always unedited, and as we're nearing the end of the term (in the fic) we only have a few chapters left at oxford before we get to go to saltburn!! LOVE YOU ENJOY!!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

"Didn't have to do that," Felix sighed from his desk, head bent low over his textbook. It's the first thing he'd said since Oliver left. You, still on his bed, picking through a textbook for a class you both share, found half-shoved under his bed, look up.

"Do what?"

"That thing with Michael What's-His-Name's file," it almost sounds like guilt in his voice, but he still isn't listening to you, "you could get in real trouble for having that."

In swift movements he stands, and you catch the sight of his scowl despite how he doesn't turn it upon you. Once again he's sitting on the floor, back to the foot of the bed, lighting up another cigarette, legs crossed in front of him.

"I'll put it back tomorrow." You're not used to Felix disapproving of you, it's a kind of discomfort you want to shake as quickly as you're able to. After a moment you add, "I know it's not really Ollie's fault, I shouldn't have -"

"I don't want to talk about Ollie right now." He's focused on balancing his ash tray on his knee, watching it with such intensity it's as if he's trying to define life's secrets from it.

"Should I go?" Murmured, almost like you're afraid of anyone hearing it, even Felix. It hangs, golden in the hazy heat of the afternoon.

"'m not the boss of you," Felix mumbles softly, head low, again his words coloured almost with guilt. You know he will never shake the quiet shame he sometimes is hit with when he remembers the way people often perceive the relationship you two share; too close, too loyal, too imbalanced.

But you've never cared; you will never treat him differently, never want for anything but his happiness, never beat the canine allegations. One day you hope you'll convince him that's okay.

So instead of leaving, you close the textbook and stretch yourself out across his bed, laying the on your belly with your head resting at the foot, by his. Your hand rests on his head, running your fingers through his hair.

Felix breathes out a lung full of smoke. He doesn't look at you. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes. The moment is a quiet one, tension thick and choking and full of things neither of you can talk about.

It's the strangest afternoon you share in a long while, one full of silence and the slow, mind numbing sound of pages being turned and the scratch of pen against paper.

"I'm gonna get ready to go out tonight," you say softly, finally breaking the silence when the courtyard outside is every shade of gold and orange in the sunset. Felix just hums in acknowledgement from his desk, "Fi?"

"Yeah," he huffs, dismissively, still looking at his notes. You've got the file in one hand, doing up the buttons of the shirt you'd forgone in the afternoon heat of his dorm room, but had to wear back to your own.

"You want me to text Oli?" You watch him grow tense at the name alone.

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know," he mumbles, almost forcibly nonchalant, despite the hard line of his shoulders that hadn't been there moments ago. Then, as if to clear the moment, he sits up straighter, turning to you in his desk chair with a look of determination in his eyes, "India still into me do you think?"

"I know India's still into you," you can't help but snort, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Would you be totally cut up if I -" he doesn't even need to finish before you're rolling your eyes.

"She'd be thrilled," but your smile softens a little, even as you shake your head with exasperation, "she's all yours, Fi."

Perhaps it's the fondness with which you acquiesces to his arguably selfish request that makes him take in the full exchange that had just passed. Felix takes a moment, tension and expression dropping as he turns pensive for a moment, unable to look you in the eyes. After a beat, you turn to the door, fully intending on letting the moment pass, but you hear Felix stand.

He doesn't say anything as he approaches you, still wearing that rather grim, thoughtful expression, but he wraps you up in a hug. He holds you as close as he's able, and after a beat of surprise, you gently drop the file to wrap your arms around him in return.

I love you. I'm sorry. All the tension from the afternoon drains away in this hug, in him pressed against you, leaning into you, breathing deep and even and steady. Pressing your face against his shoulder, you give him a brief kiss against his warm, golden skin, and hope he can feel your smile too.

The hug breaks, but still he holds your face for a long moment. He's smiling again. I love you. Thank you. He kisses your cheek quickly.

"I'll catch you at the King's Arms, yeah?"

"'course, Fi," you assure him with a warm smile of your own.

Back in your own dorm, that single moment of warmth unfortunately can't overwrite the entire afternoon of sickly tension. Looking at Oliver's name in your contacts, you frown. You should text him, invite him, Felix told him he would -

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know."

You don't text Oliver.

Annabel also isn't at the King's Arms that night. Of course you know why, the answer sits across from you with his arm around your not-girlfriend, but part of you still kind of feels bad for if the sweet redhead ever finds out.

"What are you sulking about?" Farleigh's smug voice in your ear, Farleigh's arm around your shoulder, Farleigh's cigarettes you keep stealing, Farleigh who you've tucked yourself up against for the night.

"'m not," you try insisting, frowning at the lighter that's clearly out of fluid and refusing to relight your cigarette. He gives your shoulder a squeeze.

"You sure, Peter Pan? Where's your shadow?"

"You don't give a shit about Oliver," you snap a little too quickly, both frustrated by the situation you're trying to ignore, and the useless lighter, but Farleigh reads right through it and practically cackles. Still, he wraps his other arm around you and squeezes you against his side with glee, even as you try to protest.

"Ooh~" Farleigh teases, poking your side with a wide, fond smile, "trouble in pauper's paradise?"

"That's fucking mean," you rib him none too gently, but he actually snorts with laughter. The lighter still won't bloody well start.

"I feel like you're fucking edging me with that lighter, fuck," Benji, from Farleigh's other side, smacks your lighter out of your hands and holds out his perfectly working one.

"Thank you, Benny, that was pissing me off," Farleigh says with a satisfied smile, his laughter having died down. You, finally take a draught on your cigarette, grateful for the warmth, and the nicotine as it hits.

"Could kiss you, Benj," you finally let yourself smile, "someone remind me to get a new lighter," you add, leaning across Farleigh without hesitation to plant a kiss squarely on Benji's lips after he'd wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, teasingly at you at your comment.

"We'd fascinate psychologists," Farleigh chuckled, but his voice is warm and fond, and Benji turns back to his conversation with Alicia and Jake on his other side once the moment had passed.

"Probably," comes out distracted, however as your teasing mood drops and you look to your phone. Should I have called Oliver? But when you look up, across the table, you see warmth and fondness in the way Felix looks at India, enraptured by whatever story she's telling. With one arm around her shoulders, he lets her distractedly play with his other hand, leaning into her, all attention on her. Making her feel like the centre of the universe, the way only Felix knows how to do. India glows in a way you've never seen before, lighting up under his direct affection, beautiful and elated, maybe even a little bit flustered.

There's not even a hint of jealousy at the sight of them. All you know is how much you love your friends, and how happy and beautiful they look together in this moment. There is contentment, satisfaction, like a job well done... Farleigh might have a point about the psychologists.

Speaking of - Farleigh grabs your chin and tilts your face to look at him. Immediately you smack his hand away.

"Stop that! What is that? What are you doing?" You squawk at him immediately. Again, he grabs your chin, frowning, intent upon gazing intensely into your eyes. This time you let him.

"I'm figuring out what this is," he mutters like he's deep in thought. You let your gaze roam for a moment, hoping he gets whatever this is out of his system. You wiggle your chin in his grip, and it's enough to prompt more of an explanation, "if you're not sulking, then I don't know this -" rolling your eyes, you smack his hand away.

"Fuck man, I'm not sulking," you insist, remembering your cigarette and taking another puff, glad it hadn't gone out.

"You've been weird lately; angry - ranting," Farleigh made sure to stick to your cover story despite having seen through it the minute you'd tried out the other week, "you and Felix have had some weird vibes," he takes the cigarette from you, and you settle yourself against him further.

"Fi and I always have weird vibes," you pointed out with a little smirk, keeping your voice as low as he was, glad he didn't feel the need to publicise this discussion too broadly. Farleigh snorted, but shook his head.

"You, sure," Farleigh conceded, handing back the cigarette, "but," he leans in, leans into your with a knowing, dangerously sharp smile, his hand coming to rest on your thigh, "Felix has been weird about you," his voice slides along the word weird as his hand slides up your thigh, as if to prove a point, before sitting back. Giving you a moment to recover, Farleigh sits back up like nothing happened, letting go of your thigh and taking a drink. He gives you a squeeze, arm still around your shoulders, "or hadn't you noticed?" Back at regular conversation levels like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Across the circle of your friend group, Felix's gaze momentarily flicks to you as India's in the middle of some kind of enthusiastically rambling. Gaze briefly passing to Farleigh, he then looks back and raises an amused eyebrow in silent question. The smile you give him is instinctive and warm, a silent answer. He mirrors the smile for the briefest moment before his attention returns to India.

Of course you'd noticed the change.

"Of course I've noticed." Your gaze dips; you become fascinated with your drink for the moment, trying to brace yourself for whatever comment you knew Farleigh had coming.

"Surprised he hadn't put you on a leash."

You elbow him hard in the ribs. He retaliates by flicking you repeatedly in the forehead. Its a blurry mess of frustration and elbows after that, pulling hair and wet fingers in ears and trying to sink nails into each other's soft sides, all squabbling and cursing and insults not made for polite society.

"- you put your fingers near my mouth I'll bite them off!" You holler even when he's got his arm around your neck in a kind of choke hold, which is around the time the two of you are pulled away from each other.

The rest of the table is staring at you both, while you and Farleigh straighten yourselves up, a little flustered at the many incredulous stares you were getting.

"The fuck was that about?" Felix, of course, is the one to voice the question the others all had. You look to Farleigh, his expression mirroring yours; no malice, no frustration, like nothing had happened.

"Bit of horseplay," you shrugged easily, meeting Felix's eyes, tone bright and chipper. He looked unconvinced.

"Just two dudes being guys," Farleigh's tone was light and breezy as he settled back into the booth, and you alongside him, letting him once more sling an arm around your shoulders.

"Guys bein' pals," you agreed with a nod. Farleigh pats your head for emphasis. The group thankfully decides that they've had enough of the weird moment to go back to their own conversations. Felix was the last to focus back on the conversation he'd been having with India and Alicia, narrowing his eyes as he looked between you and Farleigh.

Before turning his attention entirely away, his gaze fixes on you. There, in the very slight tilt of his head, the look in his eyes, the way his jaw tightens, you see his concern for you. You lean your head back on Farleigh's shoulder and let yourself relax, let yourself give him a genuine, reassuring smile. It's enough.

Farleigh clears his throat.

"It was either that or tell him you said that," you explained under your breath, to which Farleigh nodded in understanding, hand running up and down your shoulder idly as he reached across the table for the communal fries, bringing the basket closer to you both.

"And you don't want to tell him because you know I'm right," Farleigh is back to smug, but at least this time you can join him in his amusement.

"No, but I'm humouring you because I'd like to talk about how good I'd look in a collar," picking up a chip, you eat it with a grin as Farleigh rolls his eyes. After a moment, however, he comes back with this contemplative look, still amused, but eyes narrowed and searching like they had been earlier. You eat another chip and tell him to put his eyeballs back in his head, "seriously, quit looking at me like that, Farleigh -"

"He has been weird-weird," Farleigh says like he's agreeing, though you tell him you have no idea what the fuck he means. Taking a deep breath like he was ramping up to something, Farleigh looks across the group to Felix, before looking back at you with a kind of put-upon smile, "I say this only as someone who's know you for like, more of my life than I'd like to admit -"

"I love you too, go on."

"- so I kind of think that it might not look that different to anyone else, like they don't know it's not your usual brand of weirdness," he wets his lips, giving you a look like he's not even sure if he's meant to be saying this, like he might be letting you in on a secret you're not supposed to know, "he's been really hot and cold with you."

Of course you'd noticed.

"I slept with Oliver."

Beside you, Farleigh appears to go through all five stages of grief at once.

"You make it very hard to be friends with you sometimes," he says, shaking his head. You, however, are focusing on how many chips you can eat in a rush rather than think too much about the topic at hand.

"That mean," you tell him flatly, mouth full of potatoes, "you're being mean again."

"You chose to sleep with Oliver, that is a choice you made; I'm gonna be mean about it, you've earned it, you know you have -"

"Remember," you gave him a shit-eating grin, "how the next time we went drinking after that costume party, you spent a full half hour in the beer garden ranting about how stupid you thought Ollie's costume was," you ate another chip while Farleigh narrowed his eyes at you with barely concealed contempt, but you powered on, "and it turned out that you thought the costume didn't do him justice, which then -" your grin grew wider, "became you ranting about how his eyes are too blue, and why does he dress like that when we can all see his arms, imagine if he wore a shirt that fit!" You gleefully recounted, even as Farleigh's mouth flattened into a thin line, like he's bitten on a lemon, but he couldn't look you in the eyes.

"Hey, that's not what I -"

"And then -!" You spoke over him, "you forgot where you were and tried to take an angry nap in the bushes."

"I don't -" a flustered Farleigh squirms for a moment in his seat, unable to look at you, "remember that, and," he turned a faux serious look upon you, "if you tell anyone I said that, I'll tell them you're lying."

"I'm just saying," you shrugged, "don't act like you don't know part of the reason why I slept with him."

"Fine," Farleigh rolled his eyes, allowing his flustered frustration to ease. After a moment of contemplation, of watching Felix, he hums quietly, thoughtfully, "that can't be it, right?"

"What can't be it?"

"If Felix was going to start being jealous it wouldn't be over Oliver."

"See, that's what I thought."

"So he is jealous?"

"I don't know," you say quietly, still not quite sure how to feel about it; Felix had taken the news fine when you'd told him, he hadn't seemed any different, but of course there'd been a change. Why now?

"That's really stupid of him," Farleigh finally says, dismissively.

"It is, isn't it?" As you try and laugh, your heart's not in it. You look at your phone again, another wave of that strange discomfort that you'd been feeling lately washing over you again. You can't stay.

Everyone's surprised by your early departure as you say your goodbyes. You cite the need to study hard tomorrow, giving hugs and kisses as you start the short journey back to your dorm. Felix murmurs that he loves you and a cheeky thanks in your ear and you know he's talking about India. You kiss his cheek, and then you head off.

Nothing had seemed off when you'd told Felix.

"You look like you're about to burst into song; what happened to you?"

"Something happened!"

"Am I meant to guess?"

"No, no- I mean, like how nothing happened between me and Ollie a few months ago; something happened!"

"Something happened between you and Ollie?"

"The something that didn't happen last time -"

"I don't remember last time, Y/N, you're being so cryptic, I love that you're excited but -"

"Yes, Ollie and I slept together. Finally!"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"No, good 'oh', promise!"

"Didn't sound like a good 'oh', Fi; is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course, sorry Y/N, I promise, I'm just... I don't remember you being this excited about a hook up... and I don't think I was excepting it to be Ollie, you know? Was he really that good?"

"Let me put it this way, it was the kind of good that none of our other friends would believe if I told them."

"Fancy that, Ollie knows what he's doing; good for you."

"Great for me."

It wasn't particularly vulgar or explicit, you'd had far more in depth conversations about your various hook ups, Felix had seemed as happy for you as he always did with these kinds of stories. But he'd started looking at Oliver different, you'd noticed it. That too is when he became the clingiest. Farleigh was right; on nights out with Oliver around, Felix threw out any pretence of subtlety or person space. Felix acted like your boyfriend.

But then, any other night, any other group situation, it was like any other day. Sometimes he'd barely even glance at you. Hot and cold.

You're so in your head on the walk home that you barely register someone sitting at your door until you all but trip over them.

Annabel.

She'd been crying.

"Fuck you." Is how she greets you.

"What are you doing here?" A twinge of pity, a twinge of guilt, to see her obviously distraught at your doorstep. She gets unsteadily to her feet, swearing at you again. Reaching out to steady her, she surprises you by lunging at you, grabbing you.

"You were there, weren't you? With the rest of them," Annabel's gripping your collar, makeup smeared with tears and eyes red-rimmed, "with him," lips still inches from yours, her gaze unfocused but searching, "I can fucking smell it on you- you- you and rich boy-" but she stops for a moment, expression falling to confusion, "Farleigh?"

"Annabel -" you ease her hands off of your collar, partly confused, but mostly pitying.

"Why do you smell like Farleigh?" She sounds almost like a lost child, refusing to let go of your hand as you pulled out your keys. God she looks so helpless, tears still welling in her eyes, vodka bottle mostly empty by her feet.

"Why are you so good at telling what Farleigh smells like?" You countered with, swinging the door open. At this, some of the righteous indignation fires up in her again, flouncing into your room.

"You all went to the same boarding school, you've all got these same habits, and same but different scents you cling to," she's scowling at your dresser as you picked up the vodka bottle and brought it into your room, shutting your door. You watch her for a long moment, see how she analyses everything you have there, perfumes, colognes, makeup, skin care, little bits of paper rubbish - she picks up a bottle and flicks off the lid, not caring where it landed amongst the rest of the things there. When she sprays it, she seems to almost relax amongst it's mist. Of course. It's Felix's favourite, Felix's scent as she'd so aptly described it, for when he'd spend the night.

"Of course you have his too," she says faintly, almost derisively.

Allowing your attention to finally drift from her, you start getting ready for bed, heading to your closet to hang up your jacket.

"You all need to mark your territory," she spits, out of your peripheries, you see her move away from your dresser and pick up her vodka again, "need everyone to know who you own, who we all belong to -"

"Anna, that's not -" you sighed, unsure of where any of this was going, but not liking it either way. As you search your drawers for pyjamas, you felt her gentle hands on your hips. Jumping at the sudden touch, when you spin she braces herself against the drawers with hands either side of you, while your hands become trapped, the last bit of resistance between her chest and yours.

"I smelled like you both for weeks," she murmurs, gaze roaming your body, almost hungry, landing back on your lips, "you remember that? I should- I should- should have been fucking sickened," she admits, voice a low whisper, the hunger turning needy, turning into almost a whimper, "the things I want you both to do to me make me sick to my stomach," her lips inch closer to yours, shared breath, heat in the air, "of course I know what the fuck you all choose to smell like, I can't get it out of my fucking head," you should lean away but there's something intoxicating about her rage, her desperation, her desire, "Our Annabel, that's what he'd called me, what you'd -" and she kisses you, vodka still wicked and bitter on her tongue, all but panting into your mouth as her hands find your hips again.

But it can't continue, you can't let this go on. As you lean back to free your arms, to hold her back, she takes advantage of the opportunity to slide her hands beneath your shirt, cold and nimble against your belly -

"Could've been my Felix -" she mumbles, as if in a trance, eyes hazy and full of both tears, like she was looking into a memory. The minute her fingers find your fly you grab her hands firmly. It takes you a moment to regain your composure, to remind yourself that she wasn't in her right state of mind, that she probably didn't even know what she was doing or saying -

My Felix flares bright and hot and possessive in your mind. My Felix.

"Ow," Annabel's noise of pain brings you back to reality, but thankfully it seems the shock to her system brought her back too. Looking down at your vice-like grip on her wrists, she looks back at you as you let her go, embarrassment in her eyes as she perhaps realises some of what she'd been doing.

"I'm not sleeping with you tonight, Anna," still, your voice is gentle. She huffs an embarrassed little laugh, starting to sniffle again. Again, you remind yourself that this poor girl just got her heart broken by your best friend, and decided to deal with that by drinking an entire bottle of vodka. You'd committed to showing her some compassion tonight.

"I know." The tension drops, and she just leans her head forward to rest her forehead on your shoulder. You can't help but hug her, feeling the heavy way she sighs as you're giving her a reassuring pat on the back. The two of you stay like that for a very long few minutes until you hear her start crying again.

"Do you wanna borrow some pyjamas?" You ask softly, and feel her nod.

The rest of the night is quiet after that, taking care of this distraught young woman who got her heart broken by your best friend. It reminds you of nights you'd spend with Venetia back at Saltburn.

Annabel sits on your bathroom counter patiently, ankles crossed, watching the way you focus as you wipe off her makeup with meticulous care. When you take off her necklace, you coil it delicately on top of the nice clothes she'd been wearing, now sitting on top of her shoes by your door. At first she tries to wave you off when you offer to brush out her hair -

"There's -" she hiccups; the full bottle of vodka has finally hit her, but still she tries to shake her head, "too much hairspray, it'll be a hassle -"

"I'll be gentle," you told her softly, assurance in your eyes and a warm smile on your lips, "if you'll let me." Annabel melts under that gaze, sitting in borrowed pyjamas, face clean, cross-legged on your bed in the lamp light. You treat her with the gentlest care, brushing out her hair while you can still hear her occasional sniffles; she sits as primly as she's able, only apologising once at the start for it's length. You assured her it's fine.

"You scare me sometimes," Annabel mutters into the quiet, voice watery. For a moment, you pause.

"Me?"

"Both- both of you. You and Felix," she sniffles again, "and Farleigh too now, I guess," you can tell she swallows thickly, voice catching in her throat. When she tries to dip her head, she can feel the way you're still holding gently, still working, and she apologises faintly. Carefully, quietly, giving her space to organise her tipsy, upset thoughts, you continue to brush out her hair.

"Never met anyone like you, you know? Didn't think people like you guys existed. You're always everything; the most without even trying," she takes a deep breath, but it's undercut by a faint sob that's almost a chuckle, "I kind of think you don't even know what I mean- you especially, you know?" You... don't.

You brush, only giving a faint apology, but all she does is fidget, the words spilling unrehearsed from her, things she's clearly been bottling for far too long -

"Felix is everything everyone wants, and you're everything everyone wants him to be," she says it so forlornly, "the sun and it's fucking warmth," then, almost disgusted as she spits it under her breath, "I think about how he's never going to fuck me the way he looks at you while he's shitfaced, how sick is that?"

With a few more strokes her hair is brushed out, and without even thinking you start to braid it. Annabel's dissolved into tears again, her face in her hands, but you're just careful not to tug on her hair too hard as her whole body shakes with them.

"He never gave a proper shit about me, did he?" Annabel sobs as you're tying off the braid. The minute it's done, she turns and throws herself into your arms, sobbing against your chest, "I'm just another fucking girl to him!"

"He still loves you as a friend, I'm sure; you know how Fi is-" you pet her shoulder carefully as she clutches your shirt for dear life.

"I don't wanna be his fucking friend! I gave him my fucking heart and now he's probably got his dick in that slag India, who said she was my friend!" Spitting her words with fury, with venom, she looks up, but only sees a look of pitying apology in your eyes; she's probably right. Lip curling, she throws herself back on your bed, hands covering her face once more, "he doesn't fucking care," she groaned, fury turning poisonous with resignation, "I know he doesn't care; if I thought he truly cared I would have fucked Oliver -"

"What?"

"- Felix is so fucking fickle, god, seems like he doesn't even care about Oliver anymore, I should have- should have -" she continues on, but breaks down crying again. Getting off the bed, you leave for the common room for half a moment, filling it with water.

"Drink this," you instruct, sitting next to Annabel on the edge of the bed. She scowls, but follows your orders easily, even if she can't properly look you in the eye. The water seemed to have at least helped, as her crying quiets down as you refill the glass in your bathroom sink.

"I feel like shit," she mumbles, watching you come back into the room and place the cup on her bedside.

"Well you look pretty," you tell her teasingly, trying to lighten the mood even a little as you gently pinched her cheek. She does not appear to find the humour in the moment. Still, you turn off your lamp and climb over her into the bed, "please don't throw up in my bed or on my floor."

"I know where your bathroom is."

The two of you kick off the neat duvet but pull the thin, luxurious sheet over you both.

"Thank you..." it sounds begrudging as she says it. You tell her it's no stress, sitting up for a moment in order to open your window a crack, let a breeze in overnight, but still hear her when she says, "you're a bad friend."

Still sitting, you take a deep breath, sighing as a silhouette in the moonlight.

Annabel is more astute than you possibly gave her credit for in this state; amongst all her felt injustices, she'd never once asked about how you felt about Felix fucking India, your well established not-girlfriend. Because somehow she knew, perhaps even that you gave your blessing. You'd never been a cruel person as long as you could help it, but you'd made peace with your priorities too long ago to start apologising for them now. So yes, you'd taken Annabel in for the night, but she knew in her heart that you were partially at fault for her despair in the first place. You both knew.

Enabling Felix was never really about making anyone else happy.

"I know."

Something about your admission seems to be enough for Annabel, however. When you lay back down beside her, she curls up against you, tucks herself all along your side, arm around you, head on your chest.

The next morning, Annabel moves silently around your dorm. When you wake up, all that's even left of her presence is the empty cup of water on your bedside. No kind of note, no text, she'd made sure she didn't even wake you before leaving.

Fucking Christ, what a bloody week did yesterday feel like, is all you can think as the mid-morning sun slashes through your barely parted curtains and paints your chest with light.

You consider sleeping in, consider that you'd definitely earned it after yesterday, but then your phone starts ringing. It's Felix. He sounds grim.

"Hey, can you get over here? We need you."

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton x reader #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick imagine #felix catton x y/n #oliver quick x you #oliver quick x y/n #felix catton x you #felix catton x you x oliver quick #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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subarashiihibi · 8 months ago

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WIFE IZAYA ORIHARA!!!!!!! 🥰😘👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😭😎🔥🫶🩷

i can't quite put into words what exactly izaya has meant to me over the past 8 years. one, it sounds really corny and i go off into at least 30 different tangents about all the little things that make him so endearing to me, but also i just dont really know how to sound eloquent and stuff. that being said, a lot of the person i am today is (for better or for worse) thanks to izaya, so i think if i leave it at that you can at least get it a little bit. ^_^

i was really excited to set this year's display up. i changed the room i used this time, since i got a new desk, and it was...kind of a challenge at first, but after moving around a bunch of furniture and whatnot, i made it work...!

i had to forego putting up a few other things... namely the rest of my bromides and postcards, but also all my shikishi. i need to invest in some way to display them... i also had two(!!) dakimakura... i had to leave out this year. </3 and the cardboard cutout i made when i was 16. 😭

as usual, i have a lot of stuff to say about this entire thing and the stuff around it, so i... will leave my rambling under the cut. (^□^)

my god putting this thing together was hell. i said 'challenge' earlier no this shit was like a fucking war omfg. the clear files kept falling i was miserable and praying to god (im not even religious). and then i had to tape behind the big izaya balloon poster cause it's covering my doorway and it kept getting pulled back to the door...? and it looked stupid. 🤦‍♂️ i wasn't originally gonna put the tables in here either. i really wanted to be able to fit the bed sheets on the walls. but i couldn't... and i needed more room to put the pillows and stuff, so it ended up working out perfectly.

(the only reason i didn't want to use tables was cause i didn't want something covering up izaya's sexy exposed feet in the china poster... 😟)

i was (finally) gonna get a cake this year, but after having the stress of two exams back to back this week and exams next week, i...was too exhausted lol. hopefully next year i won't have an awful overnight job or school making me miserable. (as if i'm not still gonna be a student next year☠)

the amount of durarara merch that's come out the past few years has left me feeling so spoiled... i hope they do a mail order for the 20th anni merch... i want all the izaya stuff without the crazy markups from resellers online🤬

also plz don't judge my toploader deco skills too much... i am not very experienced... and i also don't have a lot of stickers to work with... 🥺

at any rate... at this exact time last year, i was suffering inside the confines of my local walmart... i was working overnight, and my break was at 12am, so as soon as it hit, i ran out to my car to excitedly celebrate the date changing to may 4th...!

and then during my lunch break, i drove to the whataburger next door and did another 10-pull on the izaya birthday kuji while in the drivethru.

i didn't realize this until i started taking stuff down in my room (this is my bedroom... i can't realistically keep two large tables in here and a poster covering my doorway. i had to crawl under the table just to get in and out. my knees still hurt.), but... i actually forgot something i wanted to include... my izaya lightstick... 💔💔💔 it's okay. i will live. i'm happy with my setup as a whole so i have no qualms with this. i just need to make sure i don't make the same mistake next year.

on a (slightly) unrelated note, yesterday (may 3) was the 19th birthday of my favorite album ever from my favorite band ever, fall out boy's from under the cork tree! i was so happy when i found out it's right before izaya's birthday cause fall out boy as a whole has so many izaya coded lyrics it's crazy. (btw, their debut album tttyg came out on the 6th as well...!)

and then tomorrow is cinco de mayo... it's not a coincidence... latina izaya truthers rise up...

anyways...! i'm finally learning how to draw properly. the reason i was always so miserable when i tried before was cause i never knew what i was doing. i didn't know where to start from. because...i didn't use references...so hopefully i can draw something cute for izaya's birthday next year. ^_^

that's all i have to say...! i woke up early this (yesterday) morning at 9am so i could be there at 10am when midnight hit in japan, and it's already 3am on the 4th, so i'm exhausted lol...

i was so excited seeing all the izaya bday fanart on twitter though. all the beautiful artists making beautiful art...

but i've spoken too much now. sorry. i'm going to spend the rest of my night listening to fall out boy before i eventually pass out. bye bye !!!! ^_^

#drrr!!#izaya #durarara!!#izaya orihara #durarara

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itsohh · 2 months ago

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Despite Part 2

A/N: Female reader, posted on mobile so rip formatting.

Summary: Trust is a two way bond. It only makes sense that after you look after him he looks after you.

Warnings: None

Word count: 2218

AO3 Part 1 Part 3

A light touch shook you awake and your eyes crept open. It took you a few moments to realise who had woken you. “Not very professional to be sleeping at your desk, Doctor.” Your head rose from your arms and you turned to look at your Captain. Your brow cocked and his words slowly sunk it. The gears moved in your brain and you figured out he was teasing you. Wesker of all people…

“Well, it's not very professional to show up at your employee's house uninvited.”

“Redfield insisted.”

“I didn't realise you took orders from Chris now.”

“You were unresponsive while on call, it was a wellness check.” Those sunglasses bore into you and you rolled your eyes to the side. There was a small side smile on your face, the motion hadn’t been a disrespectful one but rather a playful one.

“Alright. Sir.”

“Are you planning on sleeping here all night?” He asked.

“No, I was just resting my eyes. What time is it?” You looked towards the computer that was in screensaver mode and moved the mouse. It woke and you saw that it was only an hour til midnight. You cursed under your breath, so much for just resting your eyes. “I'm surprised you're still here.”

“I had work to do.”

“Everyone's doing their reports tomorrow.”

“I had other work as well as the reports. I don't have the luxury of pushing it off until tomorrow as I won't be in.”

Your brows shot up. “Oh? Busy?”

“Sunday is my day off.”

“You have days off?”

The question had him let out a laugh and your breath hitched at the sound. It was an unheard-of sound, a low chuckle that had blood rush to your face and heat it up. “Of course. Did you assume I worked every day?”

“Well, you’re the Captain. So yeah.”

“Overworking can lead to mistakes. I do not make mistakes. I thought you of all people would under this, Doctor.”

“Who keeps this place from falling apart without you?”

“Marini can manage for one day of the week.”

Your mind went to the Bravo team’s Captain. Despite him working in the same department, you often forget the man was a police Captain. Wesker was the one with the ‘fancy’ office, he was the one to usually call the shots and he was the one you looked to for direction when needed. Not Marini, but then again, you didn't interact with the man very much.

“Have you finished your work?” Wesker asked and you glanced back at the computer.

“Yeah, I just need to turn it off.” You moved the mouse to it shutdown.

“Good, we can leave then.”

You froze for a moment before you glanced over your shoulder and looked at him. “We?” You asked.

“Unless you have other plans I presume I was to give you a ride home.”

“Oh, Captain, you don't have to do that.”

“You rode with us to the station, your bike is at home. It's far too late for a taxi or the bus and you live on the other side of town. You're my employee, it's my job to take care of you.”

His words had you stunned momentarily. Even though he said the facts in such an obvious manner you couldn't help the way that they made you feel warm inside. It was nice knowing he was looking out for you.

“I guess you're right. You really thought this through, thanks.”

“If this is your standard of thinking things through then I suggest against spending so much time with Redfield. The bar is too low.” He took a step back from your desk and gave you enough room to get out of the chair.

You let out a snort and put on your jacket. Your vest and medical kit had long since been retired to their homes elsewhere in the building. “Did Chris tell you where I lived?” You asked as the pair of you walked together.

“No, it's in your file.”

“You looked up my address in my file?”

“I memorise everyone's files. They aren't long.”

Your mind went back to when you were in his office with Chris and how he almost immediately knew whose number Chris had paged. “Wow, you have a great memory.”

“The small things make all the difference between life and death.”

The statement had you sombre up slightly and you looked towards the ground. You knew that painfully well. Recognising and remembering even the smallest of symptoms could mean the entire world of difference when it came to what treatment a person received.

“Hey, Captain?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you take this job?”

At your question, he briefly glanced at you. “Why do you ask?”

“No offence but I would expect you to be something… more?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned towards you. “You believe this work is beneath me?”

“I mean uh-” You stumbled for a moment to recover yourself. “You're a smart man Wesker. Really smart. Hell, you're more precise and perfect than a machine. I mean I get paid my value but this work is hard sometimes. Long hours, the shittiest cases and a world of accountability and pressure. Someone with your skills could easily find employment somewhere easier with better pay.”

Wesker continued to stare at you. It was as if he was trying to figure out if your words were genuine or if you were just sucking up to him. You knew better than to try and correct yourself more, the last thing you wanted to do was overthink the situation and say something you would regret. Every second was agonizingly slow and eventually, he cocked his head slightly to the side, his deduction complete enough to answer.

“You’re right. I could. And I probably will eventually but for now it's the exact fulfilment I need.”

The answer had you slowly nod and he returned his own question. “Why do you ask? Are you thinking about leaving?”

“No, just interested in what motivates my Captain.”

Despite the fact he stood still you could have sworn the lights got a little darker around him as he continued to look at you. “And why is that?”

“Finding out someone's core values is integral to any relationship. For example, Jill respects determination. If she's had anything near to close to what I experienced being a woman in this day and age I can safely bet she's been given a lot of hurdles in life and most likely given where she is today, overcome them.”

“You think a lot about this.”

“Understanding my team helps me bond with them and bonding creates trust. In the field, I need my team to completely trust me without a doubt so I can do what I need to do without hesitation.” You explained.

“I see. You analyse people. Why not analyse myself to find out the answers to your questions?”

“I have. I'm not sure if you have noticed but you're rather a closed-off person. Not only with your private life, which I respect, but also for who you are. Sometimes the best approach to a matter is the more straightforward one. If you answer me, I receive an answer, if you don't…”

“You continue to watch me?” His voice sounded almost amused. “Wait for any slip-up?”

“No. I'd respect you on the matter and let things go.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. I'm a reasonable woman Captain, I’m not stubborn when I don't need to be. I can respect a boundary.” You smiled at the man and for a second you could have sworn his lips curled ever so slightly.

Wesker turned and started to walk again and you followed his pace. “What motivates me is humanity.” He spoke a few moments later as the pair of you left the building. The nightsky shone above the pair of you, illuminated by the giant moon above.

“Humanity?”

“I wish to see humanity evolve. We have a lot of potential as a species and I would see that potential fulfilled.”

The wording of his statement was a little strange to you and your pressed your lips together while you tried to figure out his exact meaning.

“Is that why studied biotechnology. It's in your file.”

“You looked up my qualifications in my file?” He asked, his words parroting your own.

“I may not memorize everything in people's medical files but I do and try to memorize the important things. Yours is rather interesting.”

“How so Doctor?”

“No allergies, no disabilities, no long term injuries. Nothing. No offense but your kind of a freak of nature especially how quickly you heal.”

Wesker let out a loud chuckle and the pair of you reached his BMW. “Freak of nature?”

“In a good way, I promise.” His lips curled upwards at your reassurance but you only got to bask in it for a moment as he unlocked the car with the turn of his key. You pulled open the front passenger car door and stepped into the car. “Spacious.” You praised the car and looked around it. It was immaculate. Clean and neat just like everything else about Wesker.

You did your belt up and heard the click of Wesker do the same before he turned the key in the ignition. The car immediately hummed to life without hesitation and the lights soon flicked on.

Your eyes couldn't help but focus on the way that his hands handled the steering wheel. The veins on them were rather predominant and you pressed your lips together. They would be so easy to take blood from. You shouldn't have been surprised at the size of them, he was a big man, yet you were slightly. Never had you really focused on them before.

“More questions Doctor?” He asked without turning to face you, his gaze still on the road as he pulled out from the car park. No doubt he could feel your heavy gaze.

“Not at the moment. I do appreciate you not making a fuss about…” You swallowed and looked away from the man. “What I do in my spare time.”

“What or who you spend time with is non of my concern so long as it doesn't affect your performance at work. From the way you worked today I can confidently assess that it doesn't.” Wesker paused for a few seconds. “Should we allocate two more seats for the Christmas party?”

At his question you choked and your head snapped towards the man. His lips were curled in the corners and he glanced towards you. Tease.

“No, no, gods no. It's not like that. We aren't in a relationship or anything. Casual thing. I didn't know we were going to have an office Christmas party. Didn't think you would be for them.”

“I'm not.” He sighed. “But Redfield and Frost have been adamant that it's necessary.”

A groan escaped your lips which made him chuckle.

“My thoughts exactly.”

“It's not compulsory is it?” You asked.

“It will be held during work hours. Any proper work will take priority.”

“Never thought I'd say this but please assign me to any emergency that pops up.”

“Not a fan?”

“I don't drink in my spare time, let alone with co-workers. They didn't mention anything about a secret Santa did they?”

“They did and have been persistent about the matter. I have been against the matter.”

“Captain please be the biggest killjoy you can possibly be.”

He let out a loud laugh, one that had all words die on your tongue. It had that warmth return to you but instead of flooding your face it grew in your chest and you practically basked in it.

“You don't like exchanging gifts?”

“Our team is very good at what we do, we work together well as a team and I respect everyone. Doesn't mean I want to extend that relationship to anything more. For most of the people at our work I would very much enjoy keeping the relationship the way it is.”

“Most?” He caught your wording.

“Despite my efforts Chris has managed to wormed his way into my personal life and sometimes I don't dislike it. Other than that? I think you're the exception I admit. You're an interesting man.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

The car pulled up outside your apartment complex and you were a little surprised. The streets had been empty but you didn't notice how quickly the pair of you had arrived. Did Wesker speed? You couldn't feel the speed very much in the car, the ride had been soft and comfortable the entire time.

“Would you like me to walk you to your door?”

“There's no need, I've taken up enough of your time.” You opened the car door and got out. The sound of Wesker's window opened. When you got around to his side of the car and on the footpath on the other side of the road you turned to face the man. The road wasn't very wide, it was more of a thin driveway than a proper road.

“Thanks again for the ride.”

“No need. Our conversation has been enlightening. I'd enjoy furthering it sometime even with a different subject.”

“Yeah, that would be nice. Oh and Wesker?”

“Yes?”

“Enjoy your day off.”

#albert wesker x reader #wesker x reader #resident evil x reader #re x reader #albert wesker

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shiorimakibawrites · 1 year ago

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One of Those Days

Okay, fair warning, this was written in a rush and is largely unedited. And I might have made Frank Castle out of character since I don't have a firm grip on his character yet but @bellaxgiornata isn't having the best day and was looking for Frank fics.

This is only a very short one-shot but I hope it helps you feel better, Bella.

Well, got to get back to writing Alley Cat.

Summary: You have a bad day but Frank makes it all better.

Pairing: Frank Castle x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Frank possibly being out of character

One of Those Days

You were having one of those days.

You had overslept and had been late for work. Your boss was in a fool mood and while he didn’t fire you for your lateness, he did yell at you in front of everyone. In front of her. That woman that shared your office space. The one who had taken one look at you, decided she didn’t like you, and proceeded to make your life miserable. Judging by the little smile on her face, she enjoyed watching you get humiliated.

You wanted to quit but you couldn’t. You needed this job. The rent wasn’t going to pay itself. So you swallowed your embarrassment, blinked back tears, and moved to your desk with as much dignity as you could manage.

Work was more tedious than usual. The computer had hiccup that corrupted the entire file you had been working on and forced you to re-do the entire thing. Which wasn’t difficult but was time-consuming. Which only irritated your boss further.

You ate lunch at your desk, trying to type with one hand while you ate with the other. And of course, ended up with mustard on your blouse. Somehow you managed to finish your tasks by the end of the day, which only earned you an annoyed ‘finally’ from your boss.

You had taken some pain relievers earlier but you could feel your headache sulking behind the medicine, threatening to turn into a migraine the moment said pain-killers wore off.

It decided to start raining when you were walking home. And not a little rain either. A massive downpour that had you soaked down to the skin within minutes. Because you had been in such a rush this morning, you had forgotten to grab your umbrella.

By the time you reached your apartment, you were tired, wet, cold, and really wanting to cry. Your hands were shaking so much that you couldn’t get your key in the lock. That was the last straw. You gave up fighting your tears and let yourself cry.

You didn’t know how long you stood in front of your door, bawling like a baby, before it swung open.

“Honey?” asked a familiar deep voice. Frank. Who wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow . . .

“Got done early,” he said, making you realize that you had said that outloud. “Thought I’d surprise you with dinner.”

Now that he mentioned it, you could smell the distinct odor of garlic and tomato sauce wafting out of your apartment. The thoughtfulness after such a terrible day did nothing to stop the tears but Frank seemed to understand that you were at the end of your tether.

“Come ‘ere,” he said, drawing you into a hug. He ignored your weak protests that you were going to get him wet, just wrapped his big arms around you and pressed you against his body. You gave in, buried your face against his chest, and sobbed.

Again, you don’t know how long you stood there. Frank didn’t complain, acted perfectly willing to stand there all day if that was what you needed. But when you squeezed, Frank loosen his hold enough to shepherd you into the apartment. He lead you to the bathroom before letting you go to turn on the shower. After adjusting the knobs, he stripped you out of your soaked clothes and gently encouraged you under the spray. The hot water felt so good that you almost started crying again.

“I gotta check on the food but I’ll be right back,” he said. You slowly nodded in agreement.

True to his word, Frank was back within five minutes. In his hands were a bundle of clothes that he sat on the counter.

“Do you want to wash?” he asked. You thought about it and then nodded your head. You watched as he striped out of his clothes, normally something that would have you getting wet in a different way but today, you were too emotionally wrung out for sex.

Frank seemed to sense this because he didn’t touch you that way. Just soaped up the washcloth and helped you clean the day off of your body. Just washed your hair and gently massaged your scalp, which eased the still pouting headache. He wrapped you in the biggest, fluffiest towel you owned before he dried himself and changed back into his clothes.

You were feeling steady enough to dry yourself off and start to dress yourself. He had picked out your most comfortable clothes. But with your pile of clothes was one of his hoodies. You sent him a questioning look as you held it up.

“Put it on, honey, it’ll keep you warm,” he said. What went unsaid that he knew you loved wearing his hoodies. Being loose on him and all his muscles, they were way too big for you but that’s why you loved them. That and they smelled like Frank.

You smiled at him. It was a little thing, barely a smile, but it was first one that you had all day. He smiled back and said, “There’s my girl. Let’s go eat.”

Frank claimed that he wasn’t much of a cook and maybe it was the stress of the day but it was the most delicious spaghetti that you had ever eaten. After you had eaten your fill, Frank had taken care of the plates and otherwise cleaning up the kitchen, ignoring your protests that he had cooked, you should be the one to clean.

“Pick us out a movie, honey,” he said, shooing you out of the kitchen.

Realizing there was no point in fighting him on this – especially when you didn’t especially want to do the dishes after a day like this – you settled on the couch and started strolling through the streaming options. You had picked one, a romance that you had seen a dozen times, when Frank came into the living room with one of your blankets.

Through you knew perfectly well that romance was not his favorite genre, he just nodded at your movie choice, and encouraged you to snuggle with him under the blanket. Warm, comfortable, and filled with good food, you fell asleep about halfway through the movie.

The next morning, while having coffee, Frank casually mentioned that he knew of a law firm that was looking for a new office manager. No pressure, just something to consider. After the day you had yesterday and how much you were dreading today, that little white business card he left with you was very, very tempting.

#fan fic #the punisher #frank castle x reader #fluff

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pictureamoebae · 1 year ago

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hi!!! hope you're doing well!! i was wondering if you had any tips on how to use relight, i downloaded it for gshade and i even got the older version of gshade that people have been saying relight works on but i am so lost, i have no idea how to work it :( thank you for all of your tips and help with reshade and such, you're a godsend!!

Hi! I'm doing well thank you. I had my annual flu shot yesterday and my arm doesn't hurt so that's a win, and I'm having a takeaway tonight (I allow myself one a month) while the neighbourhood lets off fireworks (in the UK it's Bonfire Night tomorrow, so the whole weekend is full of fireworks) so things are pretty sweet. I hope you're having a great weekend too!

So, onto ReLight. Assuming you've got it installed correctly (the main shader and the fxh files that come with it), and that you've turned the shader on in the ReShade menu, you should see repeated sections in the settings for numbered lights. Each one will have a checkbox next to it. Turn on one of those checkboxes.

You should see a big circle pop up on the screen (make sure you have 'Visualize light sources' checked at the bottom of the settings). This is one of your new lights.

Under the section for that light there are 3 rows of settings.

The first row controls the position of the light. There are 3 boxes. The one on the left moves the light from left to right. The one in the middle moves the light up and down. And the one on the right moves the light toward the camera or away from the camera, backwards and forwards.

The second row controls the colour of the light. I never touch the 3 boxes there (they represent RGB - red, green, and blue colour channels). Instead I click on the little colour box on the right of them, which brings up a colour picker. I find it much easier to choose the colour I want from there.

The third row controls how bright the light is. By default I think this is set to 1.000. That's really, really bright. You'll probably want to bring that value down quite a lot. I don't think I've ever used a value above 0.4, and usually have it set somewhere between 0.03 and 0.2 depending on what I'm illuminating.

You can turn on 4 separate lights at a time to use together, or just 1 if you prefer. Each has its own section as above to control colour and position and brightness independently of one another.

You'll need to set up your screenshot before you start placing your lights, because they 'stick' to the screen coordinates. This means if you place a light in the bottom left corner but then move your camera, the light will still be in the bottom left corner, it won't stick to the object you placed it near.

So, set up your scene, get your camera where you want it, and then turn on your lights. Do one at a time, so they don't confuse each other. Turn down the brightness a bit, move it into position, get a colour you want, keep tweaking the position to get it just right. Pay attention to how light might naturally fall, what you want it to illuminate, and how you want the shadows to fall. Do any final tweaks to brightness. Then you can set up your next light if you want.

Once you've got all your lights set up as you like, go back down to the bottom of the settings and turn off the 'Visualize light sources' box, and the circles will go away. Then you can see how it looks and if you're happy with it. If you are, go ahead and take your screenshot.

It sounds like a lot of work, I suppose it is, but once you've done it a few times it becomes pretty quick to manoeuvre the lights into position.

I hope that's been helpful for you. If you need other help with it, let me know!

#pastelesque #reshade faq #relight faq

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terrence-silver · 9 months ago

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Jack Blaylock with a detective!beloved 👀

---

I can envision Jack convinced that if his Detective (emphasis on the his) has been tailing him for as long as they have, it is entirely with a reason.

That their paths were meant to connect. Converge.

In the infinitely complicated pattern of life, with every murder, assassination, unresolved case or mutilated carcass Jack Blaylock leaves in his wake, his beloved, who has been on his track for months, maybe even years to no avail, keeping on eye out on his handiwork with every newly opened police file his killing sprees puts up for investigation, coming so close to catching him and connecting the dots, but never quite managing, following in his shadow dragged forward by the red thread of fate and not even realizing that same piece of string leads back to him every time. How could they, after all? They don't know him. Not the way he knows them, having observed them and the devoted work they've been doing. As a result, I almost imagine Jack killing with the intention of keeping his beloved hooked on these cases. On bringing the perpetrator to justice. Playing a one-sided game of cat and mouse. Case shut.

It's his profession, but it can't mean it cannot prove to serve multiple purposes.

He wants them to come forward. Research crime scenes he leaves behind. Take photographs. Pin up newspaper clippings of the incidents. Write meticulous reports. Swap notes back and forth with Forensics. Dedicate time and effort to uncovering the culprit. Work overtime. Be passionate. Be frustrated when there's no clear-cut answers. Get drawn into the gruesome mystery. Get drawn into him long before they ever even know it's him who's doing all of this. Long before they have a name or even a face to go off of or any sort of concrete evidence. He supposes it's meant to be. A karmic connection. That they know each other from somewhere and that's why they're drawn to each other like this. That's why Jack feels he has the compulsion to do this. That's why he's convinced beloved wants to bring him to justice as badly as they do even before he started remotely encouraging that trait in them.

Instant recognition. From a past life, it seems. Regardless of circumstances.

Every slice is for them from there on out. Every beheading. Backstabbing. Shot at point blank range, execution style. Jack does it with beloved in mind, envisioning their shock at his brutality, their abject sadness, even their professional facade suppressing their personal feelings so they wouldn't lose their mind when faced with the gore --- everything --- he ponders the diligent hours dedicated to precise analysis, lab results, their antiseptic latex covered hand lingering on every slash he made. Every wound. Every scar. It'll be as close to touching him personally as they can get. It's like being together, in ways. It's a love letter to them. He might tactically meet them at some bar downtown as a perfect stranger once they're tired from all the work he's been putting them through needing a weekend break and he might just introduce himself, offering to buy them a drink, no strings attached. Everyone needs to blow off some steam, right?

The evening will blur into a fog of pleasant, noneventful conversation.

Fueled by a little bit of alcohol (his treat, of course), slow swaying on the club's dancefloor and a lot of unwinding (after all, Jack knows what he's been dragging them through), they could just share a tiny kiss or a little bit of affection because Jack seems to say all the right things at all the right moments, getting under beloved's skin seamlessly, appearing like not much more than an entirely normal guy. He might even disappear before the night is over and leave beloved wondering where that guy they just met has gone off to without a goodbye or without leaving any discernable contacts behind now that the weekend is drawing to a close and they have to get back to the usual routine of their job tomorrow morning at the station, never even catching on to how close they got to the man who has possessed their every waking work hour of the week or the person who's been leaving a trail of blood behind engulfing the better portion of beloved's career.

Naturally, Jack will never stop.

At least not until he decides he and beloved should meet face to face.

Without pretenses this time.

Or at least until beloved figures everything out on their own.

After all --- if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

#jack blaylock #ulterior motives #ulterior motives 1992 #jack blaylock x reader #jack blaylock x beloved #detective!beloved #tw; assassination #tw; murder

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macawritesupdates · 4 months ago

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WRITING UPDATE 8/21/2024

Felt like a good time for a writing update on all the projects! Been busy getting back to work, so there is a slow down in projects/chapters getting out right now, but still moving ahead!

JUJUTSU KAISEN FIC UPDATES

Spouse Wanted: Experience Not Needed: This fic is getting a third chapter as I felt it better to end the second part at a certain stage for narrative break c: next chapter is coming out soon!!

Broken in the Ways No One Sees: Next chapter is in the works! Trying to get it done tonight so can edit it tomorrow, but it is very sweet.

Lessons in Accidental Seduction: Next chapter is halfway completed! It is a fun one to write and eager to get it out there to all of you <3

Who's a Good Boy?: getting a new chapter soon because like to do a few quick updates to a new fic to help it get its legs under it

Malevolence of Love: Going to be working to finish this story up next so expect some rapid chapter posting once I get a few other near done chapters out of the way. Just want to bring this one to a conclusion before JJK ends! I don't know, feel like this one needs to be done before then, so who am I to deny the brain weasels?

Can't Help a Cuddle: Next chapter is in the works, just takes a while to blend all the reader ideas into one coherent chapter outline <3

The Yuuji Files: On a slow road to update now as ran out of steam on where the next chapter is going, but still planning on sitting down and working through it!

Careful What you Joke About: Working ever so slowly on next update. Just have been a struggle but making small progress!

Mirrored Lives: just want to get it going again but it is being a difficult mother fudger to write >. > Might go and tear it up and rehash the plot to see if that helps! MY HERO ACADEMIA Jealousy is Not a Good Friend: New chapter is in the works! I usually update this one at the same time I update Can't Help a Cuddle since they both are the interactive fics c:

Unsung Heroes: STILL WORKING ON IT AHHH! I want to write it so bad but want to finish up some other projects too?? NGHHH!

A Rut Time of It: Next chapter is in the slow cooker c:

FUTURE FICS PULL ME AHEAD: Deku and Bakugo one-shot still marinating but It has about five hundred words done 8'3

LAW MEETS DISORDER: It is still simmering, working on the outline of it still. Realized I never actually fully outlined the first chapter and am having a mild scream over that. But it is slowly getting there.

THE DRAGON AU: This one is now in pre-production and being worked on! I can't wait to share it!

CULTURALLY INAPPROPRIATE: The sequel to Historically Inaccurate. This one is going to cover the details of the Culling Games (which is a delayed event in this continuum) and Yuuji and Sukuna trying to work things out...while also being exposed to others who share a complicated possession.

SILLY BARELY PLOT WITH PORN: Another ochako/Eijirou fanfic that follows silly mishaps that leads right into maybe feelings? Something fun and light-hearted.

REQUEST FICS I don't know when I will get back to these, but I got a backload of over 100 since April, so if I don't answer your ask/prompt right away, there is a line and that line is slower than the DMV 83

#maca updates fics #So much to write and so little time #Don't look at me about requests #I'm trying 8'3

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tastydoge · 6 months ago

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OBSESSED W YOUR MODERN AU CAN WE GET MORE OMG. maybe of wx & wilson doing weed together…. it’s up to you i just rlly love your modern au

IT TOOK ME . TWO MONTHS. BUT I DID IT.

“We should smoke weed together after your shift tomorrow,” says Wilson, leaning over the checkout counter of the gas station he works at. He’s not currently clocked in, but WX-78 is.

“WHAT? HELL NO. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO DO THAT?”

“Aw, c’mon! It’d be fun,” begs Wilson.

“I REFUSE. NOW GET AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I PRESS THE ‘CALL FOR HELP’ BUTTON.”

“Why not?” he asks, putting on his best pleading face.

“I DO NOT WANT TO,” WX-78 says, and they reach under the counter where Wilson knows the button is.

“Wait! I’ll buy it,” he says, and they pause.

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYONE THAT SELLS WEED?” They ask, and he bites his lip.

“Well, no. I was hoping you would?” He asks, punctuating the statement with a sheepish grin.

“ARE YOU NOT ASTHMATIC?” WX-78 asks, and Wilson wonders how they even got that information, because he indeed is asthmatic.

“BEFORE YOU ASK, IT’S ON YOUR FILE.”

“Oh. Hm, I guess you’re right,” he mutters, looking down, and then he perks up again. “Ooh, we could make brownies!”

WX-78 rolls their eyes, but Wilson is too deep in thought to pay it any mind.

“Oh, or we could make cookies! But my oven doesn’t work,” he mumbles to himself, stroking his chin.

WX-78 sighs loudly, interrupting his thoughts. “YOU’RE JUST GOING TO KEEP ASKING, AREN’T YOU?”

Wilson feels his face heat up. “Well, um.. I-–”

“GIVE ME ENOUGH MONEY FOR THIS, AND TO REPLENISH MY STASH, AND I WILL ALLOW IT.”

Wilson beams. “How much?”

They think for a moment.

“ABOUT TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS.”

Wilson’s jaw drops.

“Seriously? There’s no way it’s that expensive!”

“MARIJUANA IS NOT EASY TO GROW AND IT IS NOT LEGAL TO SELL. OF COURSE IT IS THAT EXPENSIVE.”

Wilson frowns. “Alright, alright. Fine. Do you have PayPal?”

WX-78 gives him a deadpan look.

“I NEED IT IN CASH, WILSON. ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID?”

He flushes again. “No, but you could just go to an ATM or something.”

“WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO GO TO AN ATM WHEN I HAVE YOU TO DO IT FOR ME?” They ask, and Wilson scowls.

“Whatever,” he says. “What about the whole smoking thing?”

“UGH. SO PICKY,” WX-78 says. “I SUPPOSE EDIBLES ARE AN OPTION.”

“As I said, my oven doesn’t work. Sorry,” he says, and WX-78 leans onto the counter with both elbows. They place their head in their hands.

“I SWEAR I WILL REGRET THIS..” they mutter. “WE CAN USE MY OVEN–”

Wilson beams. “Great! When can we–”

“BRING ME THE MONEY WHEN YOU CLOCK IN TOMORROW. I WILL HAVE IT BY FRIDAY.”

Wilson falters. Tomorrow? He thinks. I probably won’t get this chance again. Ugh. I think I’ll regret this.

He nods. “Uh.. sure. Yeah. I’ll have it by tomorrow.”

Behind him, Wilson hears someone clear their throat loudly.

He stiffens and then high-tails it out of the store, back to his car, leaving WX-78 to deal with the (presumably) pissed off customer.

Link to the full story:

#lel #dst wx78 #dst wilson #wxson #dst #tasty fics #tasty reqs #cw drug use

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oonajaeadira · 1 year ago

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State of the WIP Address

Nothing like a deadline to get a thing done, amirite? I'm just amazed that I got my Secret Santa fic done a whole 24+ hours ahead of posting time. I truly thought I'd be up all night sweating it. I guess all I needed was the SO to be gone for the evening so I could make it happen.

Think I might start cracking the whip on modern dom!Pero tonight too....

Tasty teasers under the cut.

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I’m actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it’s at: It's finished!!! I'mma post it tomorrow with all the other Secret Santas. I really hope my giftee likes it. I really hope anyone likes it. If not, I get it. It is a bit of a downer. Tasty teaser:

He only sat long enough to watch the churchgoers file out of mass, many of them with people they loved, humming, happy, cheeks glowing in that way when one steps into a fresh cold after being an hour or two in the warmth. And once the square was empty again, he stood, gave only a fleeting look to the river, and then walked resolutely down Yaëlle’s street. A little house with a red roof and a candle in the window. He stayed for supper and came back many nights after. And then one night he never left.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it’s at: Playing the wip game this week and answering Leslie's ask about this really zinged me into full gear and I have to admit that I had to tear myself away from it to work on my Secret Santa piece. But. The feedback and comments actually helped a lot and I need to rework a couple of sections before I dive back in, but I think I'm ready to rock on it, so expect this one soon. Tasty teaser:

“Did I…Did I do something wrong?” You don’t know where it comes from, this sudden neediness for him to clarify what just happened. When he turns you notice first the way he looks you over, matter-of-factly. “No, of course not.” And then you notice something else…that he’s physically aroused. He doesn’t move to hide it, nor does he seem to let it otherwise affect him. “This is not the place. I won’t take advantage of you here. Another place and another time. When I can worship you properly.”

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it’s at: Again, the wip game did wonders on my motivation on this! And knowing that Birdie is out there enthusiastic about it makes me want to get it going again. I'm focused on Pero at the moment, but I'll be back at this one soon enough. I have one little thing I really need to figure out, but other than that, I'm confident in bringing this one around. My favorite scene so far is reader's first heat, and my second favorite is the moment where everything goes terribly wrong. So get ready for more sweetness and angst I guess. Tasty teaser:

You’d sat smiling out of the car window on your way to another weekend at the Gutierrez compound, knowing full well that you’d return with a mark on your throat. You’d need to remind Javi to bite hard, to make it last. He was gentle enough that it might not take at first.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it’s at: I think I stepped away from this one too long. It's okay. The outline is solid. I just have to get Pero and Javi taken care of and then I can start working on this one again. Tasty teaser:

“Ellaria? Thank you. This is very kind.” Slowing in the courtyard and wearing the sunshine like a shimmering cloak, she returns to you once more. “It is you who are the kind one here, Pet.” “Me?” Her nod is slow, suddenly vulnerable. “You called me Lady. There are not many from outside these walls who would do that when they know who I am.” “But…you are very much a Lady.” She smiles, allowing this, turning to go. “And you are a guest. Even so, the Princes would want you taken care of. I am merely at their service. And yours.”

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it’s at: The asks are all sorted, and Shell is coming up next.... Tasty Teaser: I don't have anything written yet, but one of the asks I'm answering in the next installment is: "Does Preciosa ever get jealous thinking about Pats' other clients?"

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it’s at: I've been daydreaming about it, so that's a good sign. I did slap down some dialog that came to me the other day. Ellie's gonna get mad. No teasers for you. Get ready for some darkness.

#state of the wip address

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thatssonanii · 7 months ago

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Things We Have to Lose Pt. 2

SVU Fic

A/N: Been holding onto this for a month. Figured I better post it before your surgery so I can get it out.

Carisi and Peach stood over their now one year old daughter in her Bluey toddler bed. As a part her birthday gifts, Carisi had her room made over as a gift to match her newfound love for Bluey. Sunshine slept peacefully after spending her birthday weekend with both sides of the family and friends.

"She's knocked out. Long day of bossing everybody around," Carisi whispered, pulling his wife closer.

Peach laughed softly. "Long weekend of bossing everybody around you mean. But I'm glad she enjoyed her party."

"So am I. I'm just," he sighed softly, "I'm worried about what's gonna happen tomorrow when you go back to work."

Peach turned on the bluey light projector and the baby monitor then pulled her husband out of the room with her closing it up a bit. She led him to the living room, both sitting down on the sofa. Peach pulled her legs under her and faced him.

"What are you worried about?"

"You know like I know Amanda is not happy. She hid it well for the most part but we all knew," he explained. "I don't care about her not being happy but I care about what that could mean for you."

Peach watched her husband, noticing his nervous ticks and reached out to hold his hand. "Babe, she's probably just gonna be a little snippy and ask questions. I don't mind answering some of her questions but I'm not gonna let her get invasive."

"You know like I know she's gonna get more than a little snippy. I just don't want her being her to get you into trouble."

"What can she do? McCoy already knew and we told Garland last week. We've handled all cases correctly. There's nothing she can do."

He sighed again this time staring at his wife. "BiBi, listen ... I'm talking about her pressing your buttons and you reacting. There's only so much Liv can do."

"It's been a whole 24 hours since the party and we've heard nothing from her. She would've called or texted you by now. Right?"

"Yeah but," he started. Peach cut him off with a finger to his lips.

"No buts. We're not gonna worry about her. If anything goes on, trust your wife enough to handle it the right way. Okay?"

He smiled softly at her. "Okay, Bibi. Okay."

"Now," she smiled as she got up from the sofa, "There are some files in the bedroom I need you to look at, Mr. ADA."

"Files?"

"Yup ... files," she winked before disappearing down the hallway.

Unable to shake the events that unfolded the night before at Sunshine's birthday party, Amanda left Hasim with her girls citing an emergency meet up for work. She found herself at Peter's condo, knocking hard on the door not thinking about the late hour. Minutes later the door was snatched open, revealing an annoyed Peter.

"I'm not gonna ask if you know what time it is because I know you know," he complained leaning against his door. "But let me remind you in case you forgot, it's eleven almost midnight. What do you want?"

She rushed into his condo without waiting on an invite much to Peter's dismay. He closed the door behind her following her to his living room. She paced the floor a bit, trying to get her thoughts together.

"I'll ask again, what do you want, Amanda?"

"You knew."

"I knew what?"

She sucked her teeth, rolling her eyes to the heavens. "You know what I'm talking about," she exclaimed. "You knew about Peach and Carisi."

He sighed, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants. "What does it matter whether I knew or not? Its all out in the open now."

"It matters because you let me believe that Sunshine was yours! I did all of this and you just let me look crazy, Peter!"

Shaking his head, Peter straightened his posture before addressing her. "I didn't do either of those things, you did that, Amanda. Let's get this straight right now. I told you to leave it alone, I told you to mind your business, I told you not to mess with Peach. So don't go putting this on me."

"You could've told me!" She yelled throwing her hands up. "I was truly worried about you not seeing your daughter! Or the girl I thought was your daughter!"

"Cut the crap, Amanda. You've got some issue with Peach and you were trying to stick it to her. Save your martyr act." He admonished. "And anyway why does it matter if Carisi and Peach are married and have a kid? If memory serves me correctly you're with Hassan, are you not? And you didn't want Carisi or am I rememberingthat incorrectly?"

Her pacing stopped. She stared at him. "I don't want Carisi. I'm upset because he's my friend and now he's stuck with her."

"And that's his choice. Not yours, Amanda." He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to calm himself down. "What Carisi does with his life is none of your concern. You didn't want him, remember? Leave. Him. Alone."

"He's my friend! I care about his well being which is gonna suffer with her."

"Has his well being suffered in the two years they've been together? Because from what I gather, she's been great for his well being. And since being around them, I can vouch for that."

"You really believe that?" She asked giving him an incredulous look.

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter what you or I believe. It matters what Carisi believes."

She shook her head. "Can't believe this. I've gotta talk to Sonny."

"Listen to me ... leave this alone before you do something you can't take back."

With those final words, Peter watched Amanda storm out slamming the door behind her. Going back to his spot on the sofa, Peter grabbed his phone to send Olivia a text about Amanda's impromptu visit and then sent one to Nikki Stains. Although he should regret even getting involved in any of it, he didn't at all.

The next morning Olivia read through her texts while she rode the elevator up to the squad. She let out a harsh breath thinking of what could possibly unfold during the work day. Being as Amanda hadn't made a scene at the party, she hoped that her detective wouldn't do it at work either.

Olivia saw Fin and Kat at their desks while the other two sat empty and she feared the worst.

"They're just late, Liv. Rollins got stuck in traffic," Fin informed her reading the look on his friend's face.

"And Sunny had a little melt down when Carisi was dropping her off to Nick's mom so Peach had to go help so he could get to court," Kat added not looking up from her paperwork.

"Okay," Olivia breathed out, "Good. Did the two of you hear anything?"

Fin leaned back in his chair. "Quiet on my end."

Kat scratched her head still looking down. "They haven't spoken of that's what you're asking, Cap. Only thing I heard was that Carisi is worried."

"That makes two of us but no news is good news. I need you two to pay close attention to them, intervene if you have to no matter how small or big. Okay?"

Both Fin and Kat agree and Olivia goes to her office, closing the door behind her. Moments later, Amanda rushed in going straight to her desk.

"Traffic was a bitch this morning two wrecks right after the other. Had to go all the way around," Amanda complained while putting her things away. "But I'm here, I'm here."

Fin smiled at her. "It's all good, Amanda. What matters is that you weren't in either of them."

"Right. You're here and safe." Kat added taking a brief look up.

Hearing that felt good, felt to her like her friends hadn't completely betrayed her. She pulled a file from her desk with notes she needed to look over.

"What did you all do yesterday?" She asked flipping through the papers.

Kat shrugged. "Was here for a bit to catch up on paperwork I didn't finish Friday and went to dinner last night."

"Phoebe had me helping her pick new furniture out. We spent all day in ikea." Fin answered twisting side to side in his chair. "Had pizza and went to bed. What about you?"

"All that sounds fun except the paperwork, Kat." She laughed. "Uuh took the girls to the park, Hasim made dinner. I did go see Peter for a bit."

Her admission made Kat look up, she made eye contact with Fin before they both turned to look at Amanda.

"As in Stone?" Fin asked.

"The one and only. Just a quick chat then went back home." Amanda shrugged. She tried to judge their reactions but came up empty.

Peach breezed in, she hugged Kat then went to her desk collapsing in her desk chair. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh my gosh, I've never been so happy to be at work," she laughed.

Amanda eyed the other woman with anger in her eyes. The look didn't go unnoticed by Fin but he kept quiet not wanting to agitate the situation.

"Don't do my niece that way."

"Kat, you're saying that because you didn't have to pry her out of her dad's arms and endure crying for 20 minutes straight," Peach sassed. "I should've just taken her myself but no."

Fin chuckled. "She's probably still tired. She partied pretty hard Saturday. My son said Jaden was the same way this morning."

"Yeah well she should've went to bed when I told her to last night instead of playing with Bluey," Peach joked. "Good morning, Amanda. Thank you for the gifts and bringing the girls."

Fin and Kat held their breath watching the interaction.

"Hmm? Oh you're welcome, I hope she enjoyed them. The girls had fun as well."

Peach smiled at her. "She did enjoy them. They did? I'm so glad to hear that. I know the girls slept good that night between our nephew and nieces running them around and all the food and sweets."

"Our," Amanda mumbled before recovering. "Did you redecorate? Sonny's house, I mean."

"Here and there. What did you think of it?"

She shrugged going back to her notes. "Mmmm, it's okay. I like it better before but you're the one that has to live there."

"That's right, I am and I love it." Peach laughed softly.

"Hmm I bet you do."

Fin's phone ringing interrupted their conversation. He answered it quickly taking a few notes then hung up.

"We got a push in rape. Rollins, you're with me to the hospital. Peach," he called out standing up, "You and Kat go to the scene."

Figuring he needed to send more than a text, Peter went to Carisi's office. After speaking with his former (and Carisi's current) assistant, Peter enter his office closing the door behind him. He took a seat in front of the desk.

"Sorry to interrupt but figured this deserved a pop up." Peter explained reaching to shake his hand.

"I would say it's nice to see you but I don't think this is a good visit."

"You're right it's not," Peter admitted. "But first, how's the little princess?"

Carisi leaned back in his chair a soft chuckle escaped him. "She's not too happy with me. She didn't wanna leave me this morning, she went to sleep pretty late last night."

"She was still on that birthday high," he chucked, "Did you hear anything from Amanda?"

"No but I'm sure it won't be long now. Why?" Carisi frowned a bit.

Peter proceeded to recount the events of the previous night, making sure not to leave anything out. Once it was all out, Peter sat quietly letting Carisi digest everything. The ADA rested his elbows on his desk taking a few, slow breaths.

"I don't get it. For years before BiBi got to svu, I tried with Amanda and embarrassingly enough I got shot down every time. So I gave it up. And now ... now," he hissed softly, "She's trying to save me. It's bull."

"Trust me, I agree with you. She didn't want you but she also doesn't want anyone else to have you." Peter deduced with a slight chuckle.

Carisi nodded, squeezing his fists closed right. "And because she had such a problem with BiBi, it's even worse."

Peter learned forward in his seat. "Speaking of, what exactly is the problem?"

"Honestly, I don't know the exact reason that started this. All I know is they never got along and it's gotten worse since," he explained, running his hands through his hair. "And between you and me I'm still not convinced Amanda didn't put Bibi being a UC out on purpose."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah. Fin, Bibi and Amaro went undercover and towards the end it got out, some of the guys jumped on her. Thankfully Fin intervened and they were able to spin it."

"Wow," he uttered. "I would hope that she didn't but she doesn't have the best track record. Sandbagging is her go to when she doesn't like something. She did it to me twice."

Carisi nodded trying to make sense of it. His daughter's birthday should still be taking up majority of the space in his mind but instead it was this.

"While it's just us, we should talk."

Peach glanced at her best friend from the road. "Uuh okay. About what?"

"Amanda."

"First Sonny, now you," she complained, "My baby just turned one and all anyone seems to wanna talk about is her. I don't care if she's mad, I don't care if she's sad. I don't care how she feels about me, my husband or my child."

Kat put a calming hand on her shoulder. "Hey, wait, I'm on your side here. When I said Amanda I didn't mean her feelings, I meant about her possibly retaliating."

"I didn't mean to snap at you but I'm done walking around on eggshells for her. She needs to get the hell over it. "

"I agree, Peach. I do. But listen, you know she's gonna try to do something to get back and when she does you can't let her win. Don't give in." Kat coached.

Peach agreed just like she had with her husband. Getting back to the squad, Fin and Amanda had beat the best friends there and were already giving Olivia a briefing on what they had.

"Okay, follow those leads," Olivia turned to Kat and Peach, "And what do you two have for me? Please say good news."

"Okay so the building does have cameras in the lobby, those were sent over and we found out that this guy tried to do this two weeks ago to another tenant." Peach explained. "She wasn't home, we sent officers to her job."

Olivia pulled her glasses off, "Okay let's see if we can find a report on it. Anything else?"

Amanda cut in, "Did you ask about a boyfriend or if she has multiple people in and out?"

"We asked and they said female friends are often there," Kat shrugged going to her ringing phone, "They said nothing about men. Tamin?"

"Did she say something to indicate that there maybe a boyfriend or a man she's seeing?" Olivia asked.

Amanda shrugged going to look at their board. "She didn't but I get the feeling there may be."

"A feeling?" Olivia pushed.

"Yeah, a feeling, Cap."

"Fin, did you get this same feeling?"

Fin looked between his partner and the captain, he thought for a moment on his answer. Peach and Olivia waited on his answer while Kat continued her call.

"I didn't get that feeling. She was rattled, scared and nervous," he shrugged. "I didn't feel like she was hiding anything."

"I had a look through her phone when she asked me to call her mom she had quite a few pictures of herself and other men, dating apps, afew messages about meet ups." Amanda bought up unashamedly.

Olivia frowned a bit. "You went through her phone? Without permission?"

"Technically I did she asked me to call her mom."

Kat quietly returned to her spot beside Peach. They listened to Olivia and Amanda's conversation. Olivia was more worried about the breach of privacy without consent and Amanda was steadfast about her hiding things.

"The tenant, Alicia, is on her way, Cap." Kat slid in.

Olivia barely acknowledged the information carrying on with Amanda.

"Cap, all I'm saying is we asked about her seeing anyone and she didn't speak up about any of them. She's hiding something."

"Maybe she didn't think any of them were relevant or maybe they're not current," Fin suggested.

Olivia nodded. "And as we all know victims always withhold something. We'll talk to her again and see what comes of it."

The officers entering with Alicia cut their conversation short, Olivia allowed Fin and Kat to take her statement. She stood with Amanda and Peach on the outside listening in. Her story sounded consistent with the current victim outside of the actual rape which was thwarted by her live in boyfriend.

"At least her and the boyfriend got a good look at the guy so they can ID him when we catch him," Peach acknowledged softly. "Rollins, did the vic get a good look at him?"

Amanda ignored the question, keeping her eyes trained on her co-workers and Alicia. It was nice not having to interact much with Peach, she hoped it would have lasted the rest of the day. Peach glanced around Olivia to Amanda noticing the stoic look.

"Rollins," she called out a little louder, "The vic ... did she get a look?"

Once again, Peach's question was met with silence. The adolescent behavior annoyed her but she wasn't going to show it. Olivia nudged her detective, nodding at Peach.

"Oh uh she saw him but not a really good look. Sorry I'm trying to listen," she answered without looking in their direction.

Peach kept her remarks to herself, not wanting to start an argument. She remembered the promises that she made her husband and best friend, wanting to make good on them.

"It's being recorded, Amanda. Relax." The captain assured gently.

Amanda chuckled. "Relax? Yeah okay, Cap."

Olivia switched the speaker off turning to the blonde. "Is there something that you wanna get off your chest, Rollins?"

"Not at all, Captain."

"Are you sure? Because it sure sounds like you have something to say." Olivia pushed.

Amanda huffed loudly, "I'm sure. Can we get back to this?"

While on a lunch run, Peach met up with her husband to make sure he got food as well. They sat at a table while they waited on both of their orders. Peach showed her pictures from Nick's mom.

"She has so much fun over there," Peach gushed. "And gets fed well, even though she gets it all over herself."

The smile on Carisi's face slowly faded a they came to the last picture. "She does. And she's learning Spanish. She speaks more language than me."

"Between you teaching her Italian and Nick's mom with Spanish, she gonna be a well rounded little girl. And sassy in three different languages," Peach joked. "I noticed that you were frowning when you got here. What's up?"

Carisi sighed grabbing ahold of her hands, kissing the tops. "Peter came to see me today to tell me about a visitor he had last night."

"Uuuh... that made you frown?"

"Yeah. The visit it was Amanda." Peach tried to pull her hands away but he held onto them. "BiBi, stop and listen. I'm telling you so that you know." She frowned but mumbled for him to go on. "Thank you. He said that she was enraged with him and us when she came. She stormed in going on about us and wanting to fix it."

She looked her husband in the eyes as she spoke. "She's been fine, Sonny. A little snippy but fine. You and Kat worry too much."

Back at the squad, Olivia called Amanda into her office. She had her detective wait until she finished a few messages and emails. Since Peach had gone to get lunch, the detective had been vocal about her displeasure of the handling of their current case, sliding in subtle jabs at their missing coworker.

"I think you know why I called you in here, Amanda."

She raised a brow. "Actually I don't. What's up, Cap?"

"I know that finding out about Carisi and Peach on Saturday did not feel great for you. I know that it disappointed you and it upset you." Olivia stated. "But regardless of that you still have a job to do. I need to know that you can work with Peach and Carisi without their being an issue. If you can't then you need to tell me now and I'll find you somewhere else to go."

The blonde scoffed at the insinuation. "Why do I have to leave? I've been here longer."

"I'm telling you the same thing I plan on telling Peach, Amanda. I would like an answer."

"You know what? I need to think about it." She retorted. "For the last two years the people that I've trusted with my life before she even got here have been keeping this secret from me. Going on with them, celebrating or doing whatever while I sat in the dark."

Olivia clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "If that's how you feel, Amanda, then take some time to think about it. But while you are working as you come up with an answer, be professional or I'm going to take the decision away from you. Is that understood?"

"Got it, Cap. Anything else?"

"Watch your mouth and you know exactly what I mean." Olivia noticed Peach walk in with food and cleared her throat. "That's all. Send Peach in here."

After having a similar, albeit calmer, conversation with Peach, Olivia took a much needed break. She left Fin in charge while she went to get air. The detective ate and discussed the case amongst themselves.

"Oh this is my little baby, she must be about to nap. I'll be back." Peach rushed away into the crib to answer her facetime call.

Amanda watched her leave then started to mumble to herself. She had been texting all day with Nikki Stains to tell her about the situation and to call her off from helping Peter. She was upset with how things had unfolded, they weren't going in her favor.

"I have to know." She blurted out. "Kat, she's your best friend so I get it but Fin, we're partners. You knew and said nothing. I mean got God's sake, I was his partner too. Why?"

Fin and Kat exchanged looks as he dropped his fork onto the plate. "I was respecting their wishes, Amanda. I'm sorry if you're upset that we knew but you should know why they didn't want to tell you."

"I should know?" She repeated sarcastically. "I should know why they didn't tell me they were dating, they they were having a baby, that they were getting married? Well, I don't, Fin. Why don't you tell me?"

"Look at how you're acting," Kat interjected. "You're acting like it's some wild injustice against you and it's not. They're happy, that's all that matters."

Amanda threw her hands up, laughing. "That's not all that matters here. It's not."

"Then tell us what else matters," Fin pushed.

"Nothing. Nothing. Forget it. I'm thinking about leaving anyway." She pushed her chair back and got up, walking away from them.

She went to the crib, easing in quietly. From where she stood, she could see and hear the facetime call. Carisi had joined the call, his smile wider than she had ever seen aside from at the birthday party and for some reason it bothered her. Sunshine's giggles and words mixed in with her gibberish almost bought a smile to Amanda's face but hearing Peach's voice quickly ruined it.

"Oooh is that a yawn? Big girl is ready for a nap," Peach asked in the baby voice she used for her daughter.

Carisi chuckled at the yawn. "Yeah, Princess Sunny is tired. Take a nap and Daddy will be there to get you after. Okay?"

Sunshine spoke her gibberish through another yawn. "Kay. Buey?"

"Yeah, Sunshine, we can watch Bluey. Night night, big girl. Daddy loves you."

"Mommy loves you too, big girl."

Sunshine blew them a kiss at the instruction from Nick's mother. After she hung up, husband and wife spoke for a few minutes about what they would have for dinner and weekend plans before hanging up.

"You're eavesdropping." Peach called out looking down at her phone. "That's rude."

Amanda was startled by her, not sure how she had been heard. "I came in to get away, didn't realize you were in here."

"And once you did, you didn't leave." Peach shot back sliding her phone into her pocket. "But I'm leaving, it's all yours."

When Peach went to walk out the door back onto the floor, Amanda stepped in front of her. The latter staring into her coworkers eyes with disgust and anger.

"Excuse me, Amanda." She said as politely as she could.

"What is it with you? You came in charming everybody and making everyone love you, fall at your feet even." Amanda sneered. "But not me. You're a conniving snake."

Peach laughed. "I'm a snake? Me? Which one of us damn near blew the other's cover and got them beat up? Which one of us tried to undermine the other?"

"That was an accident and I can't help if you're wrong."

"I am your superior and I'm ordering you to move out of my way, Detective Rollins. Now."

"Oh yeah, my superior," Amanda laughed. "Explain to me again how you got that promotion to sergeant again. Garland does seem to be fond of you. You sleep with him too?"

It was Peach's turn to laugh. "Are you serious right now? Too? I guess you're counting Sonny. I got my promotion because I passed my test, something you failed to do so no I didn't sleep with Garland. I'm not you."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say your reputation exceeds you, Amanda. Now please move."

"Of all the men you just had to have Sonny. You knew he was gullible, you knew he was vulnerable and you preyed on him." She accused poking her shoulder. "I knew that night I called and he was taking you home that you were gonna seduce him. He wanted love. You saw an opportunity, swooped in and took him."

"Do not touch me again." Peach warned. "To take him that would mean he belonged to someone, namely you, which he did not and does not."

"You're such a bitch. How did Sonny get stuck with someone like me?"

"Someone like me that loves him, cares for him and treats him like a person and not a burden. Someone like me that allows him to be himself, someone that doesn't belittle him. Is that what you mean?"

"No," she snapped. "No, I mean someone like you that sleeps with who she needs to just to get what she wants. I talked to your last partner. He told me about you and your captain. You got what you wanted then you were gone."

Peach stared at the blonde wanting to lash out. "Amanda, I keep telling you to mind your business. You don't know what you're talking about. Get out of my way."

"Oh, Bianca wants to run away now. Not so much to say now? I wonder what Carisi would think about you and your ex captain."

"You're pushing something that you shouldn't. Leave me alone, Amanda. All of this over a man you didn't want," Peach warned through gritted teeth. "You decided as soon as you saw me that you didn't like me and ever since then you've done nothing but be a bitch to me."

"I'm not scared of you. I know you're secret and I'm gonna tell everyone." Amanda smiled, clearly proud of herself.

Peach took deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. "I'm trying to respect the captain's wishes and the promises I made my husband and Kat but you're making it very hard. Get out of my way."

"Move me, Bianca. Come on, you're not so big and bad huh?"

"I know that the captain gave you the same option that she gave me. You don't have to think, since it means so much to you to have them all to yourself then I'll leave. I'm not doing this with you anymore." Peach stepped around Amanda going for the door.

"Wonder what Sunshine's gonna think about having a whore for a mother? Hmm ... maybe she'll be just like you." Amanda called behind her with a sinister chuckle.

With her hand in the doorknob, Peach dropped her head counting to ten in her head. She could ignore nearly everything Amanda said but this was too far. Peach knew that Amanda was trying to press any button she could but this is one she should have left untouched.

"Let that be the last time you speak on my child."

"Truth hurts, huh? It's sad to think that your daughter is gonna be a whore just like you." Amanda taunted approaching her coworker. "It's gonna break Carisi's heart. Not only is his wife one but his daughter will be too."

Turning to face the blonde woman, Peach tried not to see red. She clenched her fists so tight that she was sure her nails were digging harshly into her palm. Her unwanted memories were floating back to her, she hated Amanda even more for being the reason they were back. That on top of her daughter being mentioned outweighed the promises she made.

"Say whatever you want about me but leave my daughter out of it. I don't talk about your kids."

"So tell me how was it? You know with your ex captain?" Amanda asked enthusiastically. "I wanna hear your side, see if it lives up to the story I got."

"Fuck off, Amanda."

"Oooh language. You're a mother, remember?"

While they continued their argument, Olivia walked back into the squad clearly refreshed from her break. She noticed the two empty desks.

"Where are they?"

"Peach went to take a call and I'm not sure where Amanda is," Kat answered.

"But they can't be together. For a long ass they've been gone we haven't heard any arguing."

In their arguing, Amanda had moved closer to Peach once again. She taunted her disregarding the warnings. Feeling herself become enraged again about the marriage, Amanda slapped her. Peach held her cheek for a moment.

"You deserve more than that but it felt good! You came in here trying to take over and I'm sick of you!

Outside in the squad, the trio heard the slap and the yell. Each having a delayed reaction before heading that way. Amanda's rant was cut off by Peach punching her in the mouth and stomach. She was going for a third hit when the others ran in, stepping between them.

"Did we not talk about this? What the hell is going on in here?" Olivia asked looking between them.

Peach checked her lip for blood. "She was eavesdropping on my call and then she wouldn't let me leave. She slapped me."

"Rollins, that true?"

Amanda groaned softly wiping the blood from her mouth. "She could've left."

"You were standing in my way! I asked you to move several times, I ordered you to move and you still didn't! Don't lie!"

Amanda smiled through the pain in her face and abdomen. "Don't leave out your little secret. You couldn't take it so you pushed me. That's why I slapped you."

"Liar," Peach tried trying to get to her only to have Kat pull her back.

"What secret?" Fin asked seeing the stressed look on their captain's face. "What is going on?"

Peach snarled at her. "You better fucking not."

"Her old partner told me she slept with her captain for perks," Amanda announced, "Oops. Sorry, Bianca."

Kat frowned, "Wait, no. Amanda, you didn't."

"I told you to mind your got damn business! You talk so much, you don't even know what the hell you're talking about, Amanda! You're so lucky she's holding me back!"

"See, Cap? This is the real her. I'm so glad you all get to witness what I already knew." Amanda tried to move closer but Fin pulled her back. "Nice to see the real you."

"Enough!" Olivia yelled, silencing both sides. "Until Garland and I can get to the bottom of this the two of you are suspended indefinitely. Leave your gun and badge. I will call you when you can come give a statement. Until then you two will not interact with the other. Is that clear?"

"Crystal. I wanna press charges. She assaulted me." Amanda announced.

Fin shook his head at her. "You do that and you're going down too. Don't be like that."

Peach pushed her best friend off of her and walked out of the crib. She tossed her badge and gun onto her desk and snatched her things up before storming out of the squad. Olivia went to her office slamming the door behind and Fin went to get Amanda some ice leaving Kat and Amanda alone.

"I hope you're proud of yourself, Amanda."

"I told you guys she isn't who you thought she was. I'm just happy it's out now."

Kat shook her head. "You have no idea what you did. Let me guess you talked to her ex partner, right?"

"Yup."

"And you didn't even bother to check behind him. You know I always tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but you are the evil bitch I was told you were." Kat fussed. "She did nothing to you and you went digging for dirt on her but you ended up getting it all on you."

Amanda rolled her eyes, "What are you talking about?"

"You'll find out. But if Peach is out of here and you stay ... so am I."

The only place Peach could think of going was to her husband. She knew he was probably busy but she just washed to be with him. The promise she had made was broken but she couldn't take it. If this is what she was going to have to deal with, she wasn't sure if she wanted to keep working there.

Getting to his office, she walked right in closing the door behind her. He smiled, extremely excited to see her until he saw the tears in her eyes and the bruise on her cheek. He met her halfway, pulling her into a hug letting her cry on his chest.

#svu fic #carisi & peach #sonny carisi

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