#fighting off the death flags with my life rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tartagliaxx · 3 years ago

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first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗#inazuma spoilers

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blackasmidnightcats · 5 years ago

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Continued discussion about Sophie's "redemption arc"

Original post from @agathasarmy

@agathasarmy I've moved this to a new post cause I have a lot of feelings and still want to continue this discussion and I hope you don't mind

So anyways...

(this wouldve been also a great way to introduce the concept of legacies, especially with the past vs. present. vs. future theme and it would also parallel tedros’ storyline as they’re both dealing with the fallout of carrying their predecessor’s glory)

YESSSS

All of them have big shoes to fill because of the people who've nurtured and believed in them

One thing I really hated in the camelot years was the lack of mourning that Agatha and Sophie did for Callis and Lady Lesso respectively.

That is the kind of anguish that I was looking for. Just them being children and missing their parent/parental figure and wishing that they could still be someone's child who could look out for them and motivate them when they needed.

Like Sophie remembering that Lady Lesso believed in her the way that Sophie could never do and Agatha remembering how her mother would have wanted her daughter to live out her life with with love and adventure.

Let's not even get with Tedros (that's a whole other meta in itself)

so far all i got was lesso and hester being the best examples of it, but what i also got from them was that Evil wasnt being cruel but serving as the balance to Good like ok???? what exactly does that entail??

Exactly, I'm really frustrated about this because as much as Soman has tried to make us understand that Good and Evil are equals, he has never actually shown us how equal they can be since all the Evil figures that we have are usually helping Good.

I'm really pissed that the Coven's quest involve them finding a new School Master when they have absolutely no need to do that. They should be doing their own stuff instead. It's the one thing I shame Prof Dovey for.

that was what I expected the series would be: Tedros and Agatha as Good because Good always stands stronger together, and Sophie as Evil because Evil is best alone, but not lonely

I stand behind your point about "Alone but not Lonely" quote because if that does not describe Sophie's biggest problem than I don't know what does. She can have all the fans that she wants and build the whole School for Evil in her tribute and pretend that she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man but she'll still feel the loneliness seep through if she doesn't have a closure with her insecurities and envy

instead Soman subverted our expectations in the worst way possible since GoT S8 (dont @ me)

I will stand by you with the hate for GoT s8. That was a trainwreck so badly done it imploded on itself. Recently, writers that have big productions have been having a hard time gracefully ending their stories

EXACTLY I JUST KNOW SOMAN’S GONNA BRUSH IT OFF OR BARELY MENTION IT WHEN THIS KIND OF DIALOGUE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO THE MESSAGE OF THE STORY THAN SOMAN RANDOMLY INSERTING DOVEY AS TEDROS’ GODMOTHER OR REAPER BEING KING FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I WILL NOT STOP BEING SO FREAKING BITTER ABOUT IT.

Soman was off with a good start on that one. I would have been more interested with Sophie trying to handle her narcissistic desires vs her need to actually be a decent Dean to all the new students just like how Lady Lesso was for her. Her understanding how to be Evil and be herself would have been a nice read.

if soman had to bring back a trope from the last era, it would be the discussion of dichotomies i.e. Good vs. Evil, instead of the evil lover trope cos aint nobody got the time for that

YESSS

It's still technically the school for GOOD AND EVIL SERIES even if we go to a new era I was hoping that Soman would still have these as the roots but NOOOO.

His obsession with Sophie obsessing over boys that obsess over her is a strong one apparently.

like at this point it’ just really blatantly obvious how much Soman favors Sophie and I wouldnt be that bothered if he didnt sacrifice the plot or the other characters’ brain cells to go along with it cos to this day I refuse to believe that people really would just accept Rhian like that after reading The Tale of Sophie and Agatha

EXCATLY. I HONESTLY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND SOME OF THE DECISIONS OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS ABOUT THIS.

Like did no one still understand that not everything is what it seems?!

I am baffled with how easy they trusted a comeplete stranger over Agatha who has proven over and over and over again that she fights for the good of EVERYONE and is perfecrly willing to sacrifice her happiness for theirs.

Like at this point I'm thinking that her fairy tale propably does not do justice for everything that she's been through cause if the other people of the Woods read her story the way we did, there would be no doubt that we would stand behind Agatha for a lifetime

like cmon people we went through this already?? a random hot stranger coming out of nowhere??? ITS THE RED FLAG

In defense with them, (and I am saying this very, very off handedly) Rhian did come around saving everyone's asses and was a pretty decent guy (NOT).

WHAT I AM REALLY SURPISED ABOUT IS THAT THEY WANT A PIECE OF HIM AND HOW EASILY THEY TRUSTED HIM WITH EVERYTHING

I THOUGHT THE POINT OF THIS SERIES WAS TO SHOW THAT ROMANCE WASN’T THE ONLY HIGHEST MANIFESTATION OF LOVE, BUT A LOVE BETWEEN FAMILY OR A LOVE FOR ONE’S SELF WAS JUST AS IMPORTANT????

One of my biggest beefs with Soman's writing. He highlights romance too much compared to platonic and self love. I want a moment with Sophie like the one in TLEA where Agatha was getting stressed about letting Sophie and Tedros grow closer and Soman managed to pretty realistically portray that; Agatha was being insecure and possessive and jealous but she let herself reflect on her actions. She made peace with it and faced it with bravery even though it really hurts her. Because she understood that she would never have closure for this if she didn't let it happen.

AGGIE IS THE BEST. I LOVE HER

Why the hell can't Soman write something similar like this for Sophie.

WHY SOMAN PUTTING THIS AMATONORMATIVE BS IN THIS STORY AGAIN LIKE WE ARE TIRED

In fairness, Sophie getting into ANOTHER romantic relationship I will PASS SO HARD.

But for everyone else that deserves some romantic love (TAGATHA PLS) I will accept crawling

also I like your ideas on what could’ve happened instead, with Rhian being more proactive towards Tedros and Agatha instead of Sophie - it would play well into the Camelot myths and themes that I was really expecting in the new era

I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!

If Soman could only just get over his Sophie Obsession, then he would understand that Tedros was the perfect target for Rhian's manipulations and Sophie was the perfect target for the downfall.

I have no idea how the hell did Rhian think (but apparently it worked because soman plot) that seducing Sophie would win him the love of the Woods.

plus it wouldve been a chance for Sophie to actively help them instead of tearing them apart like in the last 3 books?? like she’s kinda doing that rn but it would’ve been nice if she didn’t have a hand in stealing their happiness like she’s always done too

Well...for me she doesn't seem like she's tearing them apart anymore but I stand with your point about her stealing their happiness.

This could have been good, good character development for her. Her realizing that she keeps making tagatha miserable and stealing what belongs to them and the complexity that comes with her inner struggle between her envy vs love for her best friends.

PLUS CHADDICK DESERVED TO LIVE INSTEAD OF BEING KILLED FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE LITERALLY IT’S THE WORST DEATH IN THE SERIES NOT COS IT’S SAD BUT COS IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE AND MAKES FOR TERRIBLE WRITING IMHO

"NOT COS IT'S SAD BUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE"

SCREAM IT A BIT LOUDER SO SOMAN CAN HEAR IT AT THE BACK!!!!

Soman, I will never forgive you for doing this to this boy.

You could have made Tedros and Chaddick have a falling out. I mean the last time that they interacted was during AWWP and Chaddick treated Tedros as crap. I know that all of us headcanon that these two are each other's best mates but they've barely had significant interactions for me to consider that a case.

They'd be so pressured about not followong the legacy of Arthur and Lance that a small problem could propably tear these two apart.

also, on another point, you would think Sophie would be more sympathetic to Tedros situation given that they’re both leading populations, essentially

plus Sophie learned to understand Tedros’ mind better in awwp??? where the hell did that relationship development went (even if she was Filip at the time)??

I am honestly more suprised at how viciously Tedros seems to treat her.

Like it wasn't that long after TLEA that Tedros was perfectly willing to let Sophie stay in Camelot and even asked her to visit but come his coronation (which was like less than a day after) he keeps on proclaiming about how happy he is with her out his life and in aCoT his distrust for her was off the roof.

Then there is the Handbook ordeal with Sophie just completely roasting Tedros like what happend to the two of you?

I don't even understand Soman's decision about this. It doesn't even affect the actual storyline in anyway. It's just Sophie and Tedros at each other's throats.

Tedros has been treated the crappiest out of the main trio (let’s be honest) as if the game was built to oppose him, meanwhile Sophie gets major Soman privilege and is given the role ONCE AGAIN that could change the game

THIS

It's the reason why I can't even read AWWP anymore. It hurts too much to have to read at how badly the other characters treat him. Just reading the first line of that book gets me anxious.

And PREACH THAT SOPHIE HAS MAJOR SOMAN PRIVILEGES.

This is why I was actually suprised that Soman shared that he planned on killing Sophie off at the end of TLEA but we'll never how that story went

like if the School Years was for Sophie to realize and accept her Evilness, couldnt Soman have decided to give Tedros and Agatha the deciding roles this time around given that, you know, it’s called the CAMELOT YEARS ERA???

Honestly, I just want Tedros to have the most agency out of all the characters. Like make his decisions actually matter to the plot. Make him the center of the plot and revolve Rhian's plans around him instead of being against him cause that's exactly how Agatha's role in the school years era was for Rafal.

The basic formula goes like this;

Sophie important to the Rafal's/Rhian's/Japeth's/hell even Evelyn Sader's plan

Agatha/Tedros are in the way of that plan so they have to go

Agatha/Tedros saves Sophie's ass

Sophie making the big decision

Like didn't Soman say that he didn't want to be that repetitive writer? That's why he changed the ending of AWWP because it was too similar to the first book?

WTF SOMAN?

she’s still out here wanting someone to look at her the tedros looks at agatha (honestly big mood right there) but I wish this didn’t have to be her main conflict

This is actually why I'm not that mad that Sophie fell for Rhian. Because at the end of the day Sophie will be Sophie.

But I agree I kinda hoped that she wouldn't be as guilible

the girl is smart and knows her worth so I can’t really understand why she decided to get ENGAGED to the next person (Hort obviously cant count cos plot) who tells her she looks pretty???

NOW THIS. THIS IS MY BEEF WITH SOPHIE.

I can understand why she'd date him but MARRIAGE?! That was going a little bit too far.

You'd think after her engagement with Rafal that she'd be TRAUMATIZE for the next one.

And honestly it would have been hella funny if she did feel this way. Imagine Rhian nearly getting all that he needed but Sophie just straight up leaves him on the stage cause she's still got issues with it.

Would have been my favorite scene

And Hort, poor boy, he needs character development of his own. I'm not his fan honestly and currently, he's not winning me over.

ALSO THE FACT THAT SHE ENDS UP BEING CONSIDERED FOR THE ROLE OF QUEEN OF CAMELOT INFURIATES ME SO MUCH COS WE WENT THROUGH THAT SHIT IN TLEA???? WHY ARE WE BRINGING THIS UP AGAIN????

THIS. THIS IS MY BEEF WITH SOMAN

Can he not understand that she would be crap as QUEEN?

A parallel I noticed with Rhian and Sophie is that they both completely remodeled their respective castles in their image. Not even considering anyone else. And they both treat their faculty as crap.

Kinda tells us that she really would be crap as queen.

At least the Camelot citizens had enough braincells not to fall for this crap

Every other kingdom in the Woods though. They better be budgeting gold to Tedros and Agatha once they're back on the throne.

(and im so so tired of Sophie stealing Agatha’s Ever After from her, indirectly or not, like cant she just be happy for her best friend and move the plot in some way other than this???)

I really do believe envy is only one of the things that Sophie needs to sort out. The fact that she admitted at the end of TLEA that she does, in fact, feel envious that Agatha gets to be a queen and her little episode in the Ever Never Roundtable about how she's the one with the official title of queen and that Agatha isn't even a princess says a lot.

I wouldn't have minded if Sophie had a slight blackout and just lost it and saying mean things about Agatha but instantly regreting it because no matter what, deep down in the foundations of her soul, she loves Agatha with everything that she has. And is she has the be in a constant battle with herself about this fact then she's willing to keep on fighting. That would have been satisfying to read.

I mean just imagine if Sophie was there when Agatha was leading her army and Hester mentions that Agatha is Queen in the School, in Camelot, or anywhere elsse in the Woods. They would follow her. Willingly.

Sophie would have had a panic attack.

This girl needs to learn that she can't force people to be loyal and follow her by making every physical reminder of how amazing she is but instead she needs to lead and make some sacrifices of her own because she's doing these sacrifices in the benefit of Evil and its future instead of herself.

Sophie appreciating people?? Not only remembering them when she needs something from them??? Like @ soman im not asking her to be the next Mother Theresa but I’ll take this character development pls and thank u

I am all in for Sophie appreciating everyone. If she can't do it for other people, then she better do it for Evil.

#sophie #sophie of woods beyond #sge #the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #soman chainani #tagatha #love you too♡♡♡#pls #let us continue our discussion

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hey-zozo · 6 years ago

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ALL OF THEM

The meaning behind my url:it zozo

A picture of me:just go to like tagged/me

How many tattoos i have and what they are:one! dashed line on my left wrist

Last time i cried and why:god i don’t even remember i cried a lot

Piercings i have:just two ear piercings

Favorite band:uhhh rn none specific

Biggest turn offs:being genuinely rude

Top 5 (insert subject):YA DIDN’T GIVE ME ONE

Tattoos i want:i mean god i can go on forever about this

Biggest turn ons:being respected and listened to

Age:22

Ideas of a perfect date:fast food and probably like a secondhand store of some sort

Life goal:outlive my haters

Piercings i want:maybe a nose stud????

Favorite movie:hhhh currently detective pikachu

A fact about my life:i’ve only broken one bone so far

Phobia:storms

Middle name:ana

Height:5′7″

Are you a virgin?lmao

What’s your shoe size?7.5 US

What’s your sexual orientation?god i wish i knew

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?THE ONLY HIGH I GET IS THE HIGH OF FRIENDSHIP

Someone you miss:my old girlfriend

What’s one thing you regret?not doing more sooner

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:i don’t???

Favorite ice cream?death by chocolate

One insecurity:everything about me

What my last text message says:usage (to a bot my provider has)

Have you ever taken a picture naked?lmao

Have you ever painted your room?not recently

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?honey do i look straight to you

Have you ever slept naked?yes???

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?absolutely

Have you ever had a crush????yes????

Have you ever been dumped?haha yeah

Have you ever stole money from a friend?nope

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?sorta??

Have you ever been in a fist fight?one. i won.

Have you ever snuck out of your house?current house? no. previously? yes.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?yeah

Have you ever been arrested?nope

Have you ever made out with a stranger?nope

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?yes

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?yeah

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?nope

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?hell yeah

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?yep

Have you ever seen someone die?sorta

Have you ever been on a plane?yes

Have you ever kissed a picture?nope

Have you ever slept in until 3?yeah

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?haha yeah

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?yeah

Have you ever made a snow angel?i...don’t know

Have you ever played dress up?yes

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?YA KNOW IT

Have you ever been lonely?yes

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?yes

Have you ever been to a club?not a club-club

Have you ever felt an earthquake?nope

Have you ever touched a snake?yeah

Have you ever ran a red light?bold of you to assume i can drive

Have you ever been suspended from school?nope

Have you ever had detention?nope

Have you ever been in a car accident?that’s how i met lumberjack jesus

Have you ever hated the way you look?do you mean: all the time

Have you ever witnessed a crime?yes

Have you ever pole danced? no

Have you ever been lost?any time i leave the house

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?yeah and i wanna go back

Have you ever felt like dying?yeah

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?every night until i moved out

Have you ever sang karaoke?yep

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?ABSOLUTELY

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?no

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?yep

Have you ever kissed in the rain?no

Have you ever sang in the shower?no

Have you ever made out in a park?yes

Have you ever dream that you married someone?probably

Have you ever glued your hand to something?no

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?no

Have you ever gone to school partially naked?no

Have you ever been a cheerleader?nope

Have you ever sat on a roof top?yes

Have you ever brushed your teeth?????yes???

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?bitch i can’t watch scary movies period

Have you ever played chicken?idk???

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?i’ve fallen in fully clothed

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?yeah

Have you ever broken a bone?one

Have you ever been easily amused?yeah

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?yeah

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?nope

Have you ever cheated on a test?uhhh yeah

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?all the time

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?lumberjack jesus!

Give us one thing about you that no one knows.i’ve taken ice skating lessons

#serraphima

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ldoismoving · 6 years ago

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ok so the rest of the drama story from the last post

Uh yeah

Things have been good but a little I think toxic is the word with Loki the past two months. I've had two world breaking things happen the first was my Mothers death on thanksgiving (I sensed something bad coming thirty mins before she passed part of my oracle status I guess) and then being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and the after math of all this and the after math is still happening and now my dog decides to get sick but I digress. He warned me that getting closer to Christmas something was going to happen and boy was I so not prepped for it.

Now back to the high school drama

I was hella depressed and messed up mental a few days ago because of having to clean out my mothers horder house which btw is a bio hazard and I lived in that house from age 10 till she passed so 11 years literly half my life. Anubis showed up and calmed me down from my panicked state but Set showed up and uh well let's just say he's kinda known as a bit of a horn dog in Kemetic circles and things happened and Loki was not pleased about that cause the next night he busted into my room with Thor and ran Set out.

Their energy was oof and made me uncomfortable and they just would not leave when I ask then commanded so Sehkmet showed up and picked them up by their collars and belt and tossed them out the door (my interacts with the divine is never anything but drama central) I didn't even call her. Anubis also showed up again and just death glared Thor (and the face Thor made was one I've never seen on him). So Thor and Loki were just standing out my door try to get back in eventually Thor walked off pissed (apparently he hates Set btw). Loki just stood there scratching at the door very upset. I'd say Thor was trying to be protective and was just pissed and Loki was more jealous and heart broken (I think I don't lean on him as much as I should I guess) than anything.

The whole interaction along with my feelings and the red flags and mostly Lokis behavior I was so upset and angry I snapped at them and tbh more at Loki (this wasn't the only time I've fought with him but this was the last straw) I gave him my mind about his actions and how of relationship has been sour and toxic and that I need my own autonomy cause as much as I love the bastard I felt trapped and part of this was the oath we had. He tried to argue but eventually he saw I was right. And he broke the ring of runes that repped our oath and the look on his face. I didn't like that face it was so heart broke that I instantly want to take everything back and hug him and be like don't be sad as I hate hurting ppls feelings.

The next night and a little bit of the night before he tried to convince me to take him back. He was doing puppy eyes but it was like his whole body (he also kept trying to lay on me like when your dog knows your sad and tries to cheer you up.) and he was saying he knew messed up and wanted a second chance but I wasnt having it I told him to stop and leave that I was still mad at him. Eventually he did and I won't lie I want to forgive him right then and have our relationship again but I couldn't live with my self if I forgave that easily. He seems panicked

Last night I expected him to show up again but he didn't and I was kinda sad at that but I guess he thought I wouldnt listen or talk to him and idk if I would have. I've told him multiple times during this that after this goes away he can pop up and visit but I think he just wants to stay my patron and be a friend (I guess we are a little more than just friends but still) I think I should try reaching out we need to fix this, the both of us

So I feel I need to clarify our relationship. You see Loki refuses to allow the words worship, devotee/God be labeled to our relationship ( rn now as I type my body is shaking and losing control of my emotions and starting to try and cry. I'm an extremely emotional person) he actual gets mad when I use those terms. Our relationship is more that of friends, good friends who've seen hell and back. I know most or it seems like like ppl here see him as goofy,crazy loud . Kinda memey trickster side of him the most if only that part. I personally see mostly his “blue” side the one that's used and abused, had see his kids tortured and caged and tied, the on earth that bound by his sons inners and burned by acid. The version o Loki that just wants to be loved and liked and that's the point I think we really bonded one other than our chaotic brains. Yeah he still pranks and be silly but there's a lot sitting in silence and talks in the dark. He always comes at night and early morning. We show each other our scars and vent about our bullshit and relax around each other for the most part though it seems it's been five year and I still get tense around him sometimes but maybe it's because I haven't forgotten that he is a god and he can't be controlled easily if at all. He can be dangerous as a wild fire as a riot if he wants too. He's a world breaker and even though I almost never see it I haven't forgotten.

The bastard has my heart and I call him a bastard lovingly. I think I have his too

One point before this I tried to take a break and separate from him and I didn't last 3 hours before my body just started screaming and the chest pain started and I came back to him crawling. My body reacted violently to being removed from him.

I also have this toy fox that's connected to him and acts a physical extension of him and when I don't sleep with it I can't sleep. I toss and turn and wake up multiple times in the night. Like after this fight I didn't sleep with the fox. I woke every three hours from my sleep all night. I usually sleep with fox on my chest or next to it over my arm and under my chin. I basically sleep with it near my heart

I wonder if he's watching this? Ian he reading it?

#lokean #lokideity #shit this was a long ass post

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helensmomma1975-blog · 8 years ago

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Domestic Violence Colunm

Domestic Violence occurs every minute of every day. It has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S October is only the month dedicated to the Awareness. It is a cause which I am truly passionate about. It is because of domestic violence that I lost my daughter and granddaughter. I will never forget that tragic day, or the emotions I felt the days, weeks and maybe even months after I received the phone call informing me my girls had been brutally murdered. I will forever carry them with me in my heart. I would like to take the focus off myself to share the stories of two other victims in the area, stories that have made a huge impact in my life and touched my heart at the deepest level. Tammy Parker is both a victim and survivor. Her story is one of the most horrific cases of domestic violence I have ever heard. Immediately upon hearing it, I knew I had to interview this courageous woman for this piece and get to know how she dealt with the atrocities, first hand. The director of a local Victim’s Resource Center, placed me in contact with Tammy and she graciously agreed to meet with me. Suffice to say I liked her the instant we greeted one another. Surprisingly, Tammy was candid, weaving a graphic tale of assault and battery. In the winter of 2005, Tammy was beaten mercilessly by the man who vowed to love, honor and cherish her. Married less than two years, however, wedded bliss faded. On a cold, February afternoon, Tammy’s husband became angered over a trivial ‘offense’. Anger quickly turned to rage. Tammy never knew what hit her. The man she loved threw her to the basement floor, then proceeded to smash her face repeatedly onto the concrete. Mercifully she blacked out. It wasn’t until seven months after her husband was arrested that the full details of the event came to light. Tammy was initially rushed to Clifton Springs Hospital by the very person who inflicted her life-threatening injuries. Due to the massive amount of trauma she sustained, Tammy was transferred to Strong Memorial Hospital, in Rochester. The injuries were extensive: broken jaw, cheekbone, crushed nose, broken teeth, several herniated discs in her cervical spine, and fractured socket of her right eye. Since that tragic day, Tammy Parker has undergone upwards of twenty-two reconstructive surgeries to her neck and face. Even though she was near death’s door, amazingly Tammy’s husband was granted an astronomically low bail. It was set at five-thousand dollars, which he quickly posted using their joint credit card. How does something of this graphic nature and life-altering affect a victim? Like many violent acts, it will depend on the one living it. I can honestly say Tammy is a fighter. She refuses to be viewed as a victim. In her words… “I am a survivor, and I will stand up and make it.” Does that mean every new day is better than the previous? That is unrealistic. She still has days where it is extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning. But, talking with this resilient, kindhearted woman, one would not believe anything was wrong. What I saw before me was a remarkably strong individual having tremendous courage and fortitude. Tammy chooses not to let what has happened define who she is but uses those negative experiences to educate others to not become victims like herself. From 1983 until that tragic event, Tammy worked in a busy pediatrics office. In 2007 she went back to earn a degree as an RN. This was between the many, extensive surgeries. Today, she works closely with the local domestic violence agency; speaking at colleges, tech and rehabilitation centers, churches, jails, and anyone with a willing ear to listen. Truly she is a remarkable woman. Shannon Pepper’s story is equally tragic. Over a two-day period, she was severely beaten. Her head swelled to twice the normal size. Shannon’s injuries included eight broken ribs, upper and lower jaws, both eye sockets, punctured lung, and severe trauma to her brain. To illustrate the sheer brutality, her attacker nearly ripped the lips off her face. She remained in a coma for three full weeks. The only recognizable feature by which her parents could identify her was the tattoo on her arm. Ironically, Shannon once told her mother she may need that someday to identify her. Miraculously, Shannon pulled through. A short time after She was released from the hospital, still struggling with her injuries, she called Senator Cathy Young and was told about Brittany’s Law. Shannon wasted no time. She immediately petitioned, getting as many signatures as she could to get the bill passed.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck, again. In her ensuing depression, Shannon turned to alcohol. Like many victims, she could not cope with what had happened. The attack had left the beautiful, young woman disfigured. Shannon passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand and died in the ensuing apartment fire. Shannon wasn’t concerned with how she looked when canvassing neighborhoods for signatures. She was determined to see the bill become law, especially after hearing what had happened to my granddaughter. Her parents, Linda and Thomas Randolph are just as committed as Shannon was. Although she didn’t die directly at the hands of Anthony Navone, the Randolph’s and I believe Shannon’s death was indirectly the result of the initial attack and injuries inflicted. Had “Brittany’s Law” been passed, we believe she would be alive, today. Shannon had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship and there is no doubt she would have checked into Navone’s background. Linda and Thomas Randolph have since picked up with the fight where Shannon left off in her memory. More of Shannon’s story can be found on the Brittany’s Law website. See the link at the end of the article. These are just two of the ‘cases’ of many involving domestic violence. Thousands of women visit emergency rooms across America, each year at the hands of their abusive partners. Out of fear and shame, a great deal go undocumented.

Some important Red Flags to look for considering domestic violence: When your dating partner … Believes in male/female roles Was violent before you met Is often angry and or has a bad temper Blames others for what he or she has done Deflects to take steer the focus away from them self and place blame on another Grew up in a violent/abusive home Is jealous Lies compulsively Is highly possessive Violent mood swings

Some vital statistics: • While domestic violence also affects men, for obvious reasons eighty-five percent of the victims are women. • Every nine seconds in the US a woman is assaulted. • Globally, one in every three women is beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused during their lifetime. Often, the abuser is a member of woman’s own family. • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women - more than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. • Studies suggest that up to ten million children witness some form of domestic violence annually. • Nearly one in five teenage girls who have been in a relationship stated a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup. • On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. **Waiting to hear from Ramona • Annually, domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work in the US alone -the equivalent of thirty-two thousand full-time jobs. Many ask why women stay in such volatile relationships? It is essential to stop blaming the victims of abuse. Victim blaming only makes the abused feel more ashamed and afraid to seek help. We must remember every situation is different. Abuse usually starts gradually. Many reasons exist as to why victims do not leave their abusive partners: financial, children involved, thinking how to provide for them, isolation from family and friends, and, most importantly, fear of retaliation. Some victims also believe they can do no better than whom they are with. It is long overdue. We need to hold abusers accountable for their actions. No one deserves to be abused: verbally, mentally or physically. So, where does Brittany’s Law fit in? Currently, it is the only bill introduced offering preventive measures against domestic violence. Most laws and programs in place help victims once abuses have taken place. In other words, the damage has already been done. Nine states have similar laws in place. What is Brittany’s Law? --- A bill which would create a registry stating any man or woman convicted of a crime relating directly to domestic violence. Once paroled, the newly released felon would be placed into an electronic database. Similar to Megan’s Law, the registry would have three tiers: third being reserved for the worst offenders. The level of the offense would determine the length of time the offender must be registered.

Many know that I have been working diligently with Senator Mike Nozzolio and Assemblyman Brian Kolb the past 7 years trying to get Brittany’s Law / Domestic Violence Prevention Act become law. I have also worked on occasion with Assemblyman Bob Oaks, Senator Cathy Young, and other key legislators in Albany. The bill has made it through the senate six years straight with overwhelming support only to see it stall in committee in the State Assembly. What prompted me to pursue this legislation? In November 2009, my thirty-four-year-old daughter, Helen Buchel, and twelve-year-old granddaughter, Brittany Passalacqua, were brutally murdered by Helen’s boyfriend John Brown. Significant flaws were exposed. Had the laws which initially governed parolees been enforced, this tragic event may not have occurred. For example, parole officers had been told by their superiors not to re-violate parolees. This practice was implemented to alleviate overcrowding in prisons and save tax dollars. This at the expense of Helen, Brittany, and countless others. I was informed that John Brown was not allowed anywhere near his biological children from a previous marriage. Yet he was allowed to move in with my daughter and her underage children. Had the system performed the way it was initially intended, my girls. Were their lives less precious in the eyes of the division of parole? This has been a question that kept nagging at me! John Brown went before his parole officer, the day before he killed Helen and Brittany to discuss his continued violations. On this visit, it had been decided John would be given a “Get-out-of-jail-free” card if he were to work for them as an informant once his parole had been completed. In my opinion, something was seriously wrong with the system. Drastic changes needed to be made. I decided to act. After a few emails, Senator Nozzolio contacted me to discuss the details of what had taken place. Knowledge is power. The Senator and I both felt that the citizens have the right to know all sex offenders around us, therefore, we need to have the tools to access a felon’s violent history as well. Some suggest that these felons have served their time, but victims and family members never get that opportunity. Those injured and or who have perished at the hands of violent felons do not get the luxury of parole. Their fate is permanent. This past legislative session, we honestly believed there was a good chance of finally getting this bill to the assembly floor for a vote. As this was Senator Nozzolios last year in office, he was finally given a reason for the constant stall in the assembly. The Democrat majority believed the term “violent felon” was too broad. To appease them, we decided to go with their wording of the bill they were pushing. The original bill from 7 years prior had been was chopped considerably. The bill, as written now, pertains to anyone who committing a crime directly related to domestic violence, even though the percentage of violent offenders to abuse their partners is in the high seventy percentile rate. If this is what it took to get this law on the books we would settle with what the Democrats wanted, anything to get this law on the books. It is often mentioned by State Legislators that citizens are already able to access a felon’s history on the New York States Department of Corrections website under” Inmate Lookup.” In order to accomplish this, you will need not only their name but their date of birth. Once accessed the information is vague. In my daughter, Helen’s case, when she sought information on John Brown the description only stated “Felony in the 2nd “. There was no mention made of what the charge or felony conviction was. John Brown told Helen he was in prison for getting into a bar-room brawl protecting a woman. He made it sound as if it were a commendable act; a protector of woman. It was a blatant lie to make himself look good in the eyes of my daughter. While in prison felons become masters at lying and manipulation. I know of two others who have used the same line. They know the right buzz words to use. The actual offense John Brown was convicted of was throwing his infant child into a wall causing irreparable brain damage. There was no mention of child abuse either. Had she have had the tools to be privy to this information, my daughter would never have dated this vile individual. Senator Nozzolio and I were confident that Brittany’s Law was going to get passed into law. It was his last year in office, and six and half tireless years of making necessary and unnecessary adjustments, Brittany’s Law was finally going to be law. Then the unthinkable happened…

An official memo was released by the New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (NYSCAD). In bold letters it stated… Protect Rights. Promote Justice. Prevent Domestic Violence. The memo went on to state why they were against Brittany’s Law and were lobbying against its passage. Why after all this time were they speaking out against it? Why would they not want to join forces and get Brittany’s Law on the books? Not only was it the first time the coalition spoke against the bill, it was also the year Speaker Sheldon Silver was no longer there to block it from going to the Assembly floor for a vote. Without his power and influence, it would seem NYSCADV was nervous about getting their funding cut. NYSCADV gets taxpayer dollars from the State of New York to house and care for victims of abuse once the abuse takes place. It then redistributes funding to various counties, according to needs. It is an organization which deals with victims after the fact. It does not prevent them from occurring. From the memo, I will quote two of the main reasons given for not wanting Brittany’s Law passed. 1st quote: “Strongly oppose the Senate’s proposal for the creation of a domestic violence offender registry. A registry would create harmful unintended consequences for the victims and their families and would DIVERT FUNDING away from survivor support systems.” We called the members of the Senate that voted no on the bill, with the drastic change in the bill the members could no longer say the bill was too broad, this year everyone who voted no quoted this line “A registry would create harmful unintended consequences for the victims and their families” except for the clause “Divert Funding”. What the NYSCADV failed to mention to the members of the assembly is that the threat already exists for the victim. Any time a victim calls 911 or requests an order of protection the victim fears retaliation. Fear of being beaten or even death. For this reason, I proposed to Senator Cathy Young, who will be taking over the bill in the 2016-2017 session, that we make an amendment to the bill to enforce stiff penalties for any type of retaliation upon the victim. 2nd quote: “Support the Assembly’s proposal to create a NYC family eviction prevention housing supplement program that includes survivors of domestic violence.” New York City was mentioned twice in their memo. They seem to have forgotten Upstate NY even exists. I’m not suggesting the NYSCADV does not do good things for victims of abuse. What I am saying is that all their programs are for post abuse, not preventative. Housing victims of abuse are commendable, however, there isn’t enough being done to prevent it from happening in the first place. Education and tougher laws are key to ending domestic violence. Also, the NYSCADV has asked the State of New York for fifty million dollars for supportive housing projects. Will most of these taxpayer’s dollars be applied to downstate projects? Is it that the NYSCADV is afraid of losing funding if Brittany’s Law passes? Most, if not all shelters in the state are only able to house victims for up to three months. That is not enough time to break the cycle of abuse in a woman’s life. After the time is up, where is she likely to go? Back to the abuser she left, especially if children are involved and she has no car and no sustaining employment. The only thing some woman accomplish after three months away is angering their attacker. The vicious cycle worsens. To read Senator Nozzolio’s response to NYSCADV click here: Where does the bill stand in this new legislative year? As in previous years, we must start from square one all over again. In the Senate, it must pass through both the Codes and Finance committees before going before the full Senate for a vote. Unfortunately, because of the additional committees, it’s usually early June before it gets the vote of the Senate. It isn’t unheard if a bill is voted on after the session closes, but the Assembly Speaker would have to surpass the committee where the bill always stalls. How may you help? Below is a list of Assembly members to contact to voice your support for the bill. If there are victims out there that would like their story told, please email me at the link below. Your name would never be released without your consent!

Assembly Speaker Carl E. Heastie [email protected] 718-654-6539 – NYC 518-455-3791 – ALB

Assemblyman Daniel O’Donnell [email protected] 212-866-3970 – NYC 518-455-5603 – ALB

Assemblyman Brian Kolb [email protected] 315-781-2030 – GVA 518-455-3751 – ALB

Assemblyman Bob Oaks [email protected] 315-946-5166 – Lyons 518-455-5688 - ALB

For more information, please visit our website. The website will give you more information and another view on the response from NYSCADV. You can click here to go to Brittany’s Law website.

I would like to thank Senator Mike Nozzolio and Assembly Brian Kolb for the unyielding work they have done to bring this bill to law. Mike’s determination has been relentless and everlasting, and no matter when it gets passed he will be considered an integral part of the passage of the bill. As Senator of our region, he will be missed greatly. Even though his term is near to the end for him, he is still in contact with his colleagues about this bill. Because of a recent conversation he had with Wayne County Sheriff Barry Virts, we now have Wayne County Sheriff’s Department on board with our fight. I would also like to thank Sheriff Barry Virts, and Brittany’s Paternal grandmother, Joan Tandle for all the help she has given, and Thomas and Linda Randolph for all the work they have done for the past two years and Chris and Kevin Retzer. There are too many members on social media who have stood by me and pushed me along when at times I felt like giving up. To all of you, thank you doesn’t seem adequate. For the hotline number of your local domestic violence program call the New York State Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-942-6906. This is a multi-language number. For the hard of hearing or deaf call 711.

#Brittanys Law Domestic Violence Brittany Passalacqua Helen Buchel NYS Senate

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