#fighting for my life here. feeling like frogger.

[wavesofwisteria]

being a pedestrian in a city in a nordic country is like: it's 5pm and it's pitch black. there are hardly any street lights or shop lights on because everyone's trying to conserve energy. it's raining. everyone is wearing black. there's a sidewalk, a bike lane, two lanes for cars, and a tram line. none of them are moving at the same speed. there are five crosswalks to get across one intersection. also there's a giant hole in the ground next to you from construction so you have to walk in the bike lane. you fear for your life at every moment

[mischiefandspirits]

Doppelgänger (10/?)

Previously on Doppelgänger ~ Masterlist ~ Next time on Doppelgänger

Danny, Sam, and Tucker were just 14 when they took a look inside the portal Danny’s parents had built. From there, everything changed. They woke up with white hair, green skin, and powers they could learn to control. They were hybrids, halfas.

They were the hero Doppelgänger.

{Life Lessons, Part 2}

“Regretting your life choices yet?” Sam asked as Danny scowled down at the still crying sack of flour.

“I've been a parent all of one day and I’m probably already down to a C-.”

“Life could be worse. You could be that guy,” Sam said, pointing to where the Nasty Burger’s mascot was being terrorized by a bunch of kids.

“Oooh! Nasty Nat! Let's get a family photo with him.”

“You're taking this way too seriously,” Sam said as Tucker pushed her and Danny towards the mascot.

Sam glared off the kids while Tucker asked for a photo, which Danny took for them.

“You want me to take one of you? Family photos help boost your grade.”

“Not without Val here,” Danny said, passing Sam the camera and rocking his still crying sack. “I don’t want to give Tetslaff the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea being the fact Valerie stuck you with all the work?” Sam asked.

“We talked about it. She has a job, Sam.”

“So she says.” When Danny shot her a look, she said, “Right, sorry. Giving her a chance.”

Danny sighed and looked down at the sack. “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a dad.”

“Try supporting its top more.” Danny looked up at the muffled voice to see Nasty Nat standing near him. He gestured awkwardly at Danny’s arms.

Danny shifted his arms so its head was held up by his elbow and it started to quiet down. “Wow, uh, thanks, dude.”

The mascot nodded and waddled off.

Just in time as the trio’s ghost senses went off.

“Beware!”

As one, they groaned and shouted, “Not it!”

“We should really learn that that’s not going to work anymore,” Tucker chuckled.

“I’ll go,” Sam sighed and headed towards the back of the restaurant. “You two can manage the sacks.”

“You sure you’re not sticking Tucker with all the work?”

She turned around to walk backward and pointed at Tucker. “That’d be a good burn if it wasn’t for the fact he actually likes this stupid assignment.”

Danny chuckled and rocked the baby, smiling as she finally quieted down.

Then the explosions started. They looked up to see Sam fighting Valerie.

“Oh no,” Danny said. “Tuck, can you watch the kid for me?”

“Only because I don’t want Sam to get killed. Go stop your baby mama.”

“Sam’s right, you are taking this too seriously,” Danny said, handing over his sack.

He started to run off, but an explosion in front of him threw him back.

“Danny!”

He looked up with wide eyes to see the Nasty Burger sign falling.

Valerie grabbed him and pulled him out of the way just as Sam swooped down to hide Tucker’s intangibility.

“You okay?” the ghost hunter asked.

“Yeah, maybe be a little more careful with the missiles next time,” he said, shifting so he could kneel on her board.

“Sorry. The ghost kid was in one of their slow moods so I wanted to try and take them out before they could pick up speed. Besides, I’m only on a five-minute break.” Val set down behind the Nasty Burger and Danny hopped down so she could fold up her board. She pulled down her mask and looked him over. “Where’s the baby?”

“Tucker has her. I was, uh, about to go to the bathroom so I asked him to watch her.”

“Alright. You sure you’re okay?”

He smiled and set his hand on her shoulder. “I’m fine, really.”

She smiled back.

“Valerie?”

“Oh crud, that’s my boss,” she whispered and retracted her suit.

He glanced at her uniform. “You work at the Nasty Burger?”

“Tell anyone and I end you,” she hissed as she stuffed her guns into her backpack.

“I won’t. But why the secrecy? What do you do?”

“None of your business,” she said, elbowing him playfully. She looked down at him as she stood up straight and there was mischief in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Have fun with the kid, honey. I’m headed off to work.”

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth.

“Well now, this is unexpected.”

The two spun around to see Skulker floating behind them, a gun charging. Neither could react before it fired.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny groaned and sat up. “What hit me?”

“That would be me.”

The half-ghost scowled and turned to see Skulker standing over him. His breath caught as he noticed the cage bars between him and Skulker. He looked around to see he was in a steel cage that was glowing dark blue. And he wasn’t alone.

“What’s with the cage? I thought you wanted our pelts. And why’s Valerie here?” Danny growled, getting to his feet and marching towards him.

“There’s been a change of plans. You should be grateful. I had planned to have one of you fight to the death with the huntress, but knowing she is your mate makes you far more appealing for my collection. The pelts of your other sides will have to do.”

Danny gaped at the hunter ghost. “Okay, first of all, no one is ever going to be grateful to be in a cage, you creep. Second, Val is my friend, none of us would have killed her. Third, please tell me you mean mate in the British sense, because if Johnny and Kitty have been telling people I’m dating Val I’m going to kick their butts. Forth, gross dude.”

Skulker just smirked at him. “You cannot hide your relationship from me, ghost child. I heard you speaking about your child with your mate.”

Danny hit his head on the bars. “We’re fifteen. We don’t have a kid. Our school just makes sophomores partner up to take care of a flour sack. Teach us responsibility and stuff. We were joking about the assignment because we got paired up. Val and I are just friends.”

Skulker eyed him for a moment, then frowned. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“Teenagers,” Skulker growled, running a hand over his face.

“Sorry to inconvenience you. Now if you could just let us go.”

Skulker snorted and turned to leave. “Welcome to your new home.”

Danny glared at his back and tried to push his hands through the bars.

“And before you get any ideas, that cage was made with you halfas in mind. No phasing through it for humans or ghosts.”

“You know Sam and Tucker are going to come to get us!” Danny yelled as the ghost moved out of sight.

Skulker didn’t respond.

“Stupid frog.” Danny turned to the bars and tried to summon the energy for an ectoblast, to no avail.

After trying and failing to use the rest of his powers, he sat down next to Valerie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m going to tear that stupid ghost apart, then put him back together so I can take him apart a second time!”

Danny stared at the ceiling, not bothering to respond as it was the one hundred and thirty-seventh time Valerie had said those words, or at least that’s how many times she’d said it since he’d decided that counting would at least give him something to do.

And Sam thought zoos were bad. At least they gave the animals something to do.

They also gave them food.

“Hey Frogger, you do realize humans need food and stuff to survive right?” Danny yelled, cutting over Valerie’s one hundred and thirty-eighth rendition of her threats. “Also, do the words animal enrichment mean anything to you?”

“Don’t call us animals,” she huffed.

“Technically humans are still a type of animal. And I’ll call us whatever I have to to get something to eat. I know you feel the same.” If Danny -- who could partially sustain himself on the zone’s ambient ectoplasm even while in human form and had just eaten when he’d been grabbed -- was hungry, then Valerie -- who was fully human and likely didn’t have a chance to grab something after school with her job -- had to be starving.

“I won’t give in to a ghost.”

“Meh, I prefer to show rebellion through stupid nicknames and punny taunts rather than by denying myself the basic necessities.”

“You’re being far too calm about this,” she huffed, moving to stand over him.

He shrugged. “Panicking never helps and I already did the anger thing before you woke up so I’m mostly just bored now.”

“So you’re content to spend the rest of your life here?”

“You say that like it will be a long time, which it won’t because Skulker doesn’t seem inclined to feed or water us.” When she met his joke with a glare, he sat up. “We’ve already established neither of us has the skills or equipment to pick the lock or bend the bars, so escape’s not happening. Skulker wants to keep us, which is very creepy, but at least means we aren’t going to die. So all we can do is wait out our rescue.”

“You think someone will rescue us?” Valerie asked, sitting next to him.

Danny pulled out his phone. “It’s been fifteen hours since we were grabbed. Skulker can be sneaky, but someone still might have seen him bringing us to the portal. And even if no one human saw us, invisibility doesn’t work in the zone. We were definitely seen and gossip is crazy in the zone. Doppelgänger will hear about this soon enough.”

“So?” she snorted. “We’re Red Huntress and a Fenton. Why would they help us?”

“The ghosts might not know that,” Danny said, thinking quickly. “All Doppelgänger would probably hear is that two humans from their territory got taken.”

“I guess that makes sense.” She laid down and Danny followed suit.

He stared up at the ceiling, then his lips twitched up. “Want to know what I’m really worried about?”

She hummed.

“Is getting kidnapped by a ghost a good enough excuse in Tetslaff’s book for not taking care of the baby?”

There was a beat of silence then she laughed. “Oh my god! She’ll probably make us redo it from the very start!”

“I mean, I left her with a responsible sitter. That should count for something.”

“Tucker, responsible?”

“I mean, he’s working with Sam. She’ll kick his butt if he goes off the rails.”

“That makes more sense.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valerie eyed the food the ghost had thrown into their cage suspiciously. Her stomach felt like it was eating itself, but…

“How do you even know it's safe?” she asked, looking over at Danny, who was halfway through his own Mighty Meaty Cheesy Melt.

“Like I said, he doesn’t want us dead, so it’s not poisoned. And there’s no ectoplasm in it. Even if there was, that whole eat of the dead, become of the dead thing only applies to specific ghost fruits, which aren’t on here because he clearly stole it from the Nasty Burger and, again, no ectoplasm.”

“How do you know there’s no ectoplasm?”

“Ectoplasm has this strong citrusy taste that can’t be covered up with anything but mounds of relish, and there’s no relish on the burger.”

“Ho-How do you know that?”

“My parents aren’t as careful with pure ectoplasm as they probably should be.”

“That’s…”

“I know. Sam and Tucker refuse to eat over anymore unless it’s takeout and we bring it straight to my room. Really though, the food’s fine. Nothing weird in it, promise.”

“I don’t know if I can trust you to know what’s weird anymore,” Valerie said, but grabbed her burger anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Val closed her eyes as she sunk further into the water. “I don’t know if I should be impressed or concerned that you literally annoyed a ghost into giving us a bathroom.”

“Grateful?” Danny suggested from the other side of the curtain that hid the toilet and bath from the rest of the cage. “It’s a gift, really.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny snickered at Valerie’s glare.

“If I had my weapons…”

“Calm down, Val. They’re not doing any harm.”

“They won’t GET OFF!”

“They like you,” he chuckled and plucked off one of the blob ghosts.

He wasn’t sure how, but his usual swarm had found them and were now drifting about the cage. Some had attached themselves to the top like bats. Others had burrowed into their blanket nest. A few had made a home inside his jacket or atop his hair. A lot had decided Valerie was a very nice spot to sleep and had latched onto her.

The ghost in his hand vibrated, almost like it was purring except it sounded more musical.

“I’m going to smash them!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How does your phone even still have power?” Valerie asked as they watched Thor cut Thanos’s head off.

They were cuddled close in their nest of blankets with Valerie’s head on his shoulder so they could both see the small screen.

“Tucker upgraded it so it would run on ectoplasm for convenience’s sake.”

“Ectoplasm is convenient?” she chuckled, idly scratching one of the blobs curled up in her lap.

“It is in my house.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valerie gave the beast sitting on the other side of the cage a death glare.

“Yap!”

“You are so lucky I don’t have any weapons.”

Cujo rolled over onto his back and wagged his tail.

“Danny, make him leave with your annoying powers!”

The boy just reached over and rubbed the dog’s belly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valerie was tossing the rubber ball Skulker had given Danny -- and by given, she meant the ghost had thrown it at his head after four hours of constant complaining of being bored -- for Blobert to fetch when a soft sound reached her, almost like someone was shushing someone else.

“Hello?”

There was quiet for a moment, then a blue-purple flash came from around the corner. A second later Doppelgänger poked their two heads out, smiling. “Valerie!”

“Yep. You here for the show or are you actually going to help us?”

They scowled and looked at each other. “Can’t we just leave her here? We’d never hear the end of it if we did. She’s the ghost hunter, let her figure her own way out.”

“I can hear you, you know.”

“We know,” they chirped.

Valerie sat up. “Listen here, you little -”

She cut off as she was reminded that Danny had been laying with his head on her stomach by a soft whine. She looked down to see him blinking up at her, his head now in her lap.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” he yawned.

“Ghost kid’s here. They’re arguing with themself about if they’re going to help us or not.”

Danny stared at her, processing, then sat up and glared at the ghost kid, who raised their hands with guilty smiles.

“We were only kidding.” They flew over to the cage and looked it over.

“It’s ghost and human-proof,” Danny told them.

“How’re we supposed to open it then? It’s got a manual lock. We need to stop living in the digital age for once. Shut up.”

“They’re always like this,” Valerie whispered to Danny as he chuckled at their antics. “I don’t know if it's a ghost thing or if they’re just messed up in the head.”

“We think aloud, jerk,” they snapped as one came forward and pulled a pair of bobby pins out.

Danny moved closer as they knelt next to the cage’s door. “You know how to pick a lock?”

They smiled at him and pushed up their goggles to give him a wink before they squinted down at the lock and started fiddling with it.

Valerie was surprised their eyes were yellow. She’d assumed they’d be green like their goggles.

“That’s a lot of blobs,” they said, the one not picking the lock looking over the cage.

“Just over three dozen and they all have names,” Danny said cheerfully.

“They’re just random pun names based around the word blob,” Valerie chuckled.

“Blobbington. Blobby. Blobin. Blo-”

“We get it,” the ghosts snorted, cutting Danny off.

It took a few moments, but then the ghost kid was floating back and the door swung open.

“Freedom!” Danny cheered as they left the cage. He turned to the blobs and made shooing motions. “Alright, you lot, back home with you.”

The swarm made sad ringing sounds, but flew off in various directions.

Meanwhile, the ghost kid that had picked the lock fixed their goggles back into place and put away the pins as the other passed Valerie her backpack and pointed at the wall across from them. “Go straight that way. We’ll meet you on the other side.”

“You want us to go through the wall.”

“Humans can be intangible in the ghost zone. Just try, you’ll see,” they said before heading back the way they came.

Danny walked up to the wall and stuck his arm through. “They’re right.”

“I guess that’s what Skulker meant by human proof,” she said as she followed him over and tried it for herself. “He must have done something to the cage so we wouldn’t slip right through.”

“Guess so. Ladies first?”

She rolled her eyes and stuck her head through to make sure no one was on the other side. They continued like that until they reached a wall that only had a void on the other side. She put on her suit and they jumped through. She summoned her board before they could fall too far, then looked around.

“We should leave now while we have the chance.”

“Great idea. Which way do you think the portal is?” Doppelgänger asked with a snort as they flew up.

She sent them a glare.

“Thanks for the help,” Danny said, setting his hand on her shoulder. “Can you show us the way out?”

They turned to her, crossing their arms.

She crossed her own arms and stared back.

“Can we please save this for after we’re far away from the ghost who locked us in a cage for eight days?”

“We’re not the ones who got locked up,” Doppelgänger reminded them.

“Maybe so, but you are the ones who are going to be stuck in a thermos for an hour if you don’t knock it off,” he said. “Can we just agree to a truce until we get out of here? Please?”

“Fine,” they said and one held out their hand.

Valerie shook it. “For now. Get us out of this ghost zone, and we'll see how long it lasts.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry this has been a while. Hyperfixations are a B. I'm going to post what I have and hopefully, that will rekindle enough for me to finish this.

[currently-shushing-birds]

Selfishness VS Selflessness thoughts as I watch without context as to where I am in the video

(Anything put in parentheses was added the next day :) )

the opening is so cute

voices??

They're happy to see him

..ew

Hence the marriage

HE FAILED

THE INTRO (the intro had me litterally screaming)

"ApRiL 13tH" mocking us

PATTON

I love Patton so much

Yeah Thomas watch your language

F

ROMAN

SONG

HOLY SHIT SONG

Loving game Roman's hair

I'm shaking :))

"But you're gay.."

Language Roman

Roman is smart okay

He's not having second thoughts

"Hind sight is 20/20" stop

Thomas knows his friends okay

I genuinely feel really bad for Thomas

FERAL CATS!?

The laugh-

PATTON

Where's Virgil and Logan I miss them

Ugh Catholics (edit: I should add that I was realised Catholic like Thomas)

Patton is such a sweet angellll

I just saw how long this is damn

"N o"

Karma IS a bitch though

"Why does their complexion matter?" Icon

I want a new side

"Roman that-"

Thomas you are a good person-

Leave Patton alone

ROMAN BE NICE

"You're welcome :)" he's so proud

"A BAGEL!?"

GamessssstORE

F r o g

Frogger is an icon

Stop with the PUNS

I love Patton have I said that yet

"16 GRAPHICS :D"

Damn Roman

Ugh the "encounter" was not a new side

I adore Leslie Odom Jr so fucking much I've met him :)

Feed him >:(

"Liquid lipstick of Shakespeare"

6am sharp

Fight him

"Please don't tell me you're going to wrestle Tony award winning actor Leslie Odom JR"

Patton's smile increases my life span

LOGAN

"Whatcha Doooooin logan"

I missed Logan :(

Damnit nevermind

Roman...n o

"You shouldn't press other people's buttons" okay that one was okay

"Holy hera" Percy Jackson

"One more time Roman-"

Excuse me Logan spoke

Did y'all notice Patton is a terrible lawyer

Roman knows he's a jackass at times

NO

"I dont think it matters w h y you do something" knew it

Typical tuesday

....does that imply leslie has ass??

That's not correct...ACCORDING TO THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF-

"I was just blanking in the word Guy but sure"

ROMAN IS A GOOD PERSON STFU

How am I supposed to read Logan's lowdown while true talk fuck (edit: I ended up pausing)

I'm with Patton

Thank you Patton

Roman's hair looks nice

Thomas also looks dapper look at him

That train sound scared me

WE DONT LIKE TO USE THE T WORD IN THIS HOUSE

He apologised for it I cant

"rIGHT!?"

Jesus Logan's acting weird

THE BLINDS PATTON

DID YOU BREAK MY BLINDS

...is he okay I love him

He keeps gesturing to his nose poor guy

He's in love with Logan

Was that accent okay-

Thomas is so relatable

The signature Thomas look

I'm not to commenting on the serious things because I'm paying close attention sorry

I dont believe Roman is a bad person he just doesnt have the right motives

Give Roman a hug

I agree with Thomas

ROMAN APPRECIATION

...Patton what

Buff Thomas?

Logan!

Where's Virgil :((

ME TOO THOMAS ME TOO

"I completely agree with ya...but I really dont see how that applies to what we're talking about" he's always nice

All these metaphors are throwing me off tbh

That short sigh

"Correct me if I'm wrong"

"I- uh- YOURE WRONG"

...oo you're really (edit: I seriously have no clue what I meant to put here but okay-)

PATTON

Oh my god

Give patton help

This is freaking me out

I'm only 31 minutes in

It's almost unsympathetic Patton and it...scares me?

"It's up to you" is said so creepily and makes me super uncomfortable

THANK YOU LOGAN

....deciet's theme

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG

I hate Deciet

I hate him

Kinda...he's ok

Wtf

Nice put Padton

So okay serious right now. Deciet was misleading Patton's conscience to things that would throw him off thus throwing his moral compass into orbit. Patton isn't thinking straight, it cant be a fair fight can it?

Word weapon because words hurt

It's hard to focus when their characters are so cute

Patton is thinking straight since more

Thomas...

Battle of the sides

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit

I hate that I love Deciets outfit but it's dope

Patton..

Roman is me

There's still 20 minutes left wtf

What are these analogies

Evan hansen vibes

ACTUAL LOGAN

Hey we care Logan

Logan dont be an ass

Wait so when did Deciet take over the Lowdowns

I'm going to assume it was when the text was on scene without speech

THAT FUCKING F A C E IM ROLLING

I dint know whether I hate deciet of appreciate him he's hard to like but very helpful

Roman's gay he cant do math

Deciet is a bitch

Okay but is Thomas okay?

Deciet has a point

Living for the video game music

I just noticed Deciet's (edit: got caught off guard by Deciet's name and I forgot what I was typing)

WHAT NAME?

J-...Janus

ROMAN N O

Ohhh that's..that's rough

Remus and Roman are completely different but Deciet has a damn good point

Oh gee Roman

Patton is so gentle towards Roman I'd kill for him

Roman...

No

Patton and Roman needs hug

LESLIE HE'S SORRY

Wait that's a c t u a l l y Leslie Odom JR

"This is Sanders Sides not Odom sides. I'm not threatened at all"

Everyone clapping is iconic

The background music is honestly amazing

Deciet I know you're That Bitch but stop

Patton is just so kind and he tries so hard

Look he's going to check on him

Thank you Janus

Is Deciet truly the mom side

Damn

Okay I like deciet but just...he can really make me freak out

SNAKE BOY

SNAKE ICON

He's right

Thomas said self love in a new way and I'm dead

That wink was super sweet

Oof

Thomas

DOOR YELLING IM SCREAMING

....he- okay thomas

Brunch Tuesdays

Patton made that pun

Patton and Deciet are hangin out

I'd watch Odom Sides

Okay that's all :)

[bilgisticallykosher]

Selfishness vs. Selfishness Redux

Pre-episode thoughts. I don't think they're going to address the dark side Everybody-already-knew-that thing right away. I'm still thinking Deceit's gonna be Virgil, but I'm also not so certain that's going to wind up going down. Because there's a lot of other stuff to get into. We know from the first Asides that stuff between Virgil and Patton is growing, and simmering. It's coming, and while that's in the future, there's probably going to be more build-up here. Is it that Patton knew about Virgil's past? Is it something else entirely? This is going to be a two hour episode, geez. 

Also, I can't believe he's actually going to the wedding. Idk. All those people saying he got the date wrong, though? First of all, Logan is in charge of the schedule, he'd never let that happen, how dare? And also, I always double check dates and invitations for stuff. I really doubt Virgil wouldn't have looked at the invitation and checked the information again. Watch me be totally wrong now. 

I don't know who I think the cloaked figure is. Could be Deceit ("like a freaking Scooby Doo villain"), could be Thomas himself. Probably not Organization XIII, but I'm not completely eliminating the option, let me have this. 

Things I'd like, but am 99% certain won't happen; Deceit's name (which I'm both hoping and expecting to not start with D), a new side, Remus and Deceit interacting on camera, or really Remus at all. Except for that green score of BOOBS, I maintain that's Remus's contribution. 

ALRIGHT, LET'S GO, I'M NOT READY!!!!

First impression of the thumbnail. You vs. Yourself???? Oh my gosh. Ohhhh, I'm freaking out. Patton looks so apprehensive, and I don't know if that's on general, or because of Roman or in response to Roman, because Roman looks so annoyed at Patton! He's so angry oh my gosh. I mentioned I wasn't ready, right? Okay. Okay. So their sprites are different styles, which is cool. Patton's looks risk-based stroll around town type of RPG, Roman's looks fighting style. 

The options for the character select???? Oh my gosh, that's. Hi, Remus. Anyway, uh, I don't know what this means, but there's three character options on top and- DARK SIDES ARE SEPARATE FROM LIGHT SIDES! Oh gosh, I was thinking maybe it was something to do with specifically Logan. Ooh, Deceit's in his lawyer outfit, nice touch.  THERE'S AN EXTRA BLANK PLAYER OPTION. I don't know if that means he'll be revealed this episode, or just that he exists. I mean, we just had Deceit's logo, Remus's reveal and name reveal… here goes.

IT STARTS WITH THE VIDEO GAME??? THIS IS THE INTRO????? THE WEDDING??????!!!!!!! Oh hey word crush. Oh hey, it's the couple! Starting to think this is a dream or fantasy, btw. Also, Lee and Mary Lee sound like...Esteban and Valerie? Maybe? Idk. Omg, Life is pain. 

This is awkward, beautiful. Pfft, hence the marriage. Photographer is great, no idea who he or the emcee are. Ooh. Crushed. 

INTRO??? EXCUSE ME??? Oh was SvS originally on 3/31? Yeah, good, play a review like all of us haven't been obsessing over what happened last time. "APRIL 13" I'm just going thi pause forever now. Oh this is going to be the angry walk in that was previewed in the bloopers, I can tell. Oh no. OH NO! And it is at night and he seriously freaking actually went to the wedding????

Oh my gosh he's so angry. Ohhh, Patton rethinking his phrasing, nice. You should never→I'm surprised that you etc. Oh Roman! Oh, maybe we should… not review. Oh boy. 

Oh there's Patton's avatar. In then guitar hero thing. Oh, Thomas is associated with the color white, confirmed??? I like how they did the notes there. So much detail. The talk sprites are great, but the expressions on the dancing sprites are worth paying attention to. Okay, Patton's still very, um, defensive, I guess is the word? Thomas is angry and bereft and confused and full of doubt, and Roman's heavily on the confused side (ha) about him aligning with Deceit. This is why he stole his hat. Great animation work, everyone, that was fantastic, artists! 

"Why didn't I just talk to them before the wedding?" THOMAS. Also, because Deceit specifically prevented Logan from being too close to the courtroom scene by benching him and not asking him what his idea of a compromise was. "I brought that up," well, you did, but Deceit kinda made it seem like you were suggesting lying to them, so you got shut down. Sorry, Ro. Listen, I love Deceit, but the boy's a manipulator. 

We learn to predict the future!!! Roman, no. Woah, Patton's just being completely dismissive. I mean he's been through some hard times the last few episodes, minus LNTAO, but damn. Oh. Roman's very much defending Patton. This forebodes very badly. This is going to explode terribly. Oh no. 

Okay, so, the thing with the feral cats. Is Roman okay? Did someone do this to him? More importantly, did he do this to me? Also, on a serious note, I'm super shocked Deceit hasn't come in yet, because he (and Thomas, and arguably Patton) is obviously regretting going to the wedding. I mean, Virgil's not coming in right away because of the reveal at the end of DWIT, but- hey where's Logan?! Logan and Deceit should both totally be here! *gasp* Except in the one on one episodes (Heart vs. Mind, My Negative Thinking, Logince; the argument) it's always primarily been the two sides that are featured with the others either not there or off-screen or making small cameos. But Deceit was and is an important part of this decision past, present, and going forward! 

Oooh, I like the Lee and Mary Lee backstory. Hm. Patton does bring good points, but. I still agree with- oh, Thomas just solidly saying no made me snort. Okay, so speaking of the coin bleeping, why the video games? I know there's more to come with it, how do they come into play? Oh okay metaphor. 

That was clearly not the good ending, Roman. Bringing up Is Thomas A Good Person again. OOH xylophone, is he a-comin'? Oh he's directly blaming Patton. Wow, Roman. 

A BAGEL?! Oh, game sssssssstore. Really? Frogger, Pat? 16 graphics. Oh there's the hotdogs. OH and there's the cloaked guy! Smashing our theories. That does not seem like Sondheim. 

The puns, oh my gosh, brilliant. Getting to the meat of them here. Gosh these graphics are fantastic. 6AM dull. 

Oh. Hm. Technically, he does not have to give him the 'dog. The building tension is fascinating. 

HI, LOGAN! Patton looking real uncomfortable at "regret." I mean, they all know they regret it now, right? Roman making fun of behoove, that's so funny, I have no idea why. Seriously, whoever's doing the art, I'm dying at Logan's expressions. Woah good thing viewers have the pause button. I'm all for not buying X-mas decorations. I'm doing my part, goyim. 

I'm counting "it's not like Kingdom Hearts" in lieu of that having been Organization XIII. Oh boy, Patton. Right thing vs. Feeling good vs. Feeling good about doing the right thing. This is falling apart. Patton's noise. 

BOOBS omg Deceit is Bowser. I love that painting in the background! Scutes! Time went from limited to being lost to poorly spent to wasted! I'm standing by the purple being Virgil. Fyi, in Judaism, doing a good thing for the wrong reasons doesn't matter, because you're still doing the good thing, even if it's just for the reward. There's a thing about it with Avraham and a King.

Roman's getting close to breaking. Reptilian rapscallian guy. And who's to say he can't be doing it for the reward and to help people? 

"... an individual's happiness and the amount of selfless acts…" that should be number, not amount, Logan! Can't judge good deeds only by how good you feel when you do them. 

Okay, here we go. How do we know what's Right? Killing and stealing is illegal everywhere, yes, Thomas, what are you doing, Thomas???

Oh my gosh, not the trolley problem. They're referring to Deceit as Denial and Roman as Passion! Oh gosh, that looks like Joan, Talyn, Dot, Valerie, and Terrence, and Leo by himself, maybe? Oh geez, I jolted. Logan index carding for trolley problem. 

Unus Annus is right, the trolley problem is stupid. Oh my gosh, Logan's giant wall of text physically pushing Patton back, I spit all over my screen. Skip All. 

Roman's… blaming himself? Oh!!! Are we getting Roman's insecure arc???!!! This is a complex issue, and Patton's having a hard time backing down, and everyone's feeling bad.

Scared?! I hear music! NO. Why is he scared, oh my gosh?????? That's not a tired metaphor. Oh! I've heard of hypoxia! It was hypothesized (and disproven) to be the reason for a specific Bermuda Triangle incident. 

Good point, Logan. Regarding theory and in the moment instincts. Remus mention with intrusive thoughts! Shocked that Logan is arguing for leisure time. Logan's self satisfied smirk at the self-sacrifice. GLITCHY! Oh he's a frog. Lilypadton. 

Oh my gosh I'm getting so stressed. Yes, thank you, Logan for the scream. I… don't. The conscientious comment. No, it's not. This seems… Deceit-y. IT IS! SHARP SIDE OH MY GOSH! Oh, he didn't rise up, he popped out in the freaking dialogue box, NO, FRICK IT WAS RIGHT THERE! And the Nietzsche and the specific examples that he used!!! I'm so angry! I DIDN'T THINK HE'D TAKE LOGAN'S PLACE AGAIN! I MISSED THE SIGNS! 

Hey guys, look, it's Deceit. Bull… frog. Lord of the lies. Oh! 8-bit Deceit theme. Okay, the first thing Deceit said about him not doing it on purpose was nice, but yeah, those words striking him is accurate. Yeesh, harsh. 

Is Patton eating his own words? Oh, uh, is anyone going to acknowledge he hit Thomas? Is that telling of the situation instead of just being a funny background event? 

The crick in Thomas's neck is so funny. SNAKES ON THE PLANE!!! ...Hm. Happy that he brought that up. Oh my gosh, Deceit's spluttering, he's like so bad at things sometimes, I love it. 

Logan! No, don’t do that, everybody appreciates you! Double curse? Pffffft, Logan. Deceit…definitely smiling at Logan's logic. Deceit is interesting here. Oh wow, yikes. He's really fascinating here. Legitimately complimentary? Oh, no, kind of not, maybe. Roman looks distressed.

"...Trees?" Roman's super pumped up. Good for him! Ha, his imitation. Deceit looking confused? Patton looking all sorts of things, I really think that Deceit is being genuine here- NAME?! I'D THIS HAPPENING? Why is he stripping? His, no, what does his glove have to do with his name? 

………. Janice? Did he say Jenus or Janice. It sounded like Janice. Deceit. No. Oh, burn, Roman. Damn, he almost got me. His name is not Janice. No. It's not. Don't even. Deceit was being so straight(ha)forward for the past couple of minutes. Awww, Roman. Insecurity addressing time? Wait, why is Deceit nodding at the hero thing? His lip is trembling, his voice is cracking and oh no! Roman just sank out.

Don't call him Janice, that's not his name. Oh he's being genuine again. Patton's talking about himself. WAIT WHAT. He had a five second cameo, omg. 

Yeah, those are the easier questions. No, Deceit, bad Deceit. Man, his facial expressions in this episode. Fractionally fiendish fibber. Oh, I like the reasons for Deceit being a part of him! That's… cute? Oddly cute, maybe. So, freaking how far in the future is the Asides? 

Stop calling him Janice, that's not his name. Oh, Deceit and Thomas bonding. That snort, oh my gosh. Oh, serious Deceit again! That reaction to "you're right" is oddly similar to that fake laugh at the end of Embarrassing Phases. 

………. Virgil's not here yet. His reveal isn't being addressed. Accepting Deceit. That's why he's so pissed at Patton in Asides. The next episode proper they're going to reveal that Deceit's accepted, more or less, and Patton was a big part of that, hugely changing his mind, that's why he's so pissed at him!!!

April 30th? Oh is this Lee and Mary Lee? I was wrong on the voices. Door-yelling! Hm. I mean. It's nice that they're acknowledging him, but I really don't think that sways the situation one way or another. Cute more background, and Thomas being awkward. They. This could have been instead of the wedding. Kingdom Hearts again! 

Oh hi, Patton and Deceit. He seems annoyed at the situation. Patton and Deceit bonding. Hi again, Leslie. Wild. 

This video really didn't go at all how I thought it would. Roman was barely miffed at Patton. Oh man, this was intense. I. Oh man. I need to process a lot. But I think we're on the right path, here. Janice is not his name!

Okay, I went on tumblr and two seconds in, I saw Janus, which I looked up and that makes way more sense. Another, more condensed post to follow. And several thousand reblogs.

[ohmytheon]

Ok. I’m not sure if my suggestion for TodoOcha posted for you to see because my phone might’ve glitched.😂 It was about that one picture with Todo, Iida, Deku, Uraraka, Baku, and Tsyu at that burger place.🙊

It didn’t glitch. I was just trying to figure out some inspiration behind it and then got caught up in my other writing. I’d started and stopped it a few times, but then kept getting stuck. I was abruptly hit with some inspiration the other day when I came across some Todochako art that had nothing to do with this prompt and, well, two days later, here we are. It’s MUCH longer than I anticipated and the burger doesn’t even feature until the very end, so hopefully that makes up for how long it took me to get this up. (Also, yeah, I’m basing the arcade on what it’s like in the States. Now I wanna go to one, but they’re expensive and I’m about as cheap as Uraraka.)

Most of the time, everyone was too busy with their homework, hero training, or extracurricular activities to go off campus and actually do something for fun as a group. It was hard enough to pencil in time to hang out on campus, much less off, and there was so much they had to do. They were only in their first year and yet already the work was building up. It would only get worse. At this point, they’d be doing their homework and eating meals at the same time by the time they were in their second year. Uraraka already had dreams about school.

However, with some perseverance and more than a little frustration, they managed to find a time where they could all take a break and go off campus for a little. While they were all very much focused on becoming heroes, Iida had insisted that even an hour or two would give them the relief to push themselves further when they got back. Pushing themselves constantly was great and all until they hit a wall.

In the end, they had decided to go to an arcade. It would just be some light fun before getting back into the swing of things. Only a handful of them were going. Uraraka wasn’t sure why Bakugou was coming with them, but he had grumbled something about Kirishima and Kaminari coming later and she wasn’t going to question him on that. The last time she’d pointed out something to him, he had looked like he was going to have a conniption. It was best to just leave him be and let him do his own thing.

Uraraka and Deku were apparently the most excited about their adventure. She loved arcades, but didn’t go to them often. Growing up, it had been fun to beat boys her age and older at the games. They’d get so worked up over the idea of getting beat by a girl, sometimes even accusing her of cheating. When she had been ten, one boy had pulled her hair in anger and she’d floated him to the ceiling. Sure, she’d been the one to get in trouble, but the scared look on his face had been worth it and he’d never bothered her again.

In the middle of excitedly explaining one of her favorite games to Tsu as the arcade came in sight, Todoroki let out a thoughtful hum to himself. “I’ve never been to an arcade before.”

Uraraka spun on him quickly. “What? Never?”

Todoroki shook his head. “It wasn’t exactly something that Endeavor would allow. A waste of time better spent training.”

“That’s a travesty!” Uraraka exclaimed. A determined spirit came over her. “I’ll show you the best games to play.” She grabbed him by the wrist without thinking and hurriedly dragged him ahead of the group so that they could get inside the arcade first. Honestly, what kind of kid didn’t go to the arcade at least once? It was like a staple of childhood. “You’ve seriously been denied something important.”

“Are you certain?” Todoroki eyed the dark room and the flashing lights of the arcade games. It was loud inside in every way, the outside deceptively quiet because of the thick concrete walls and tinted glass. “It doesn’t look like much, to be honest. Those prizes look like they’d be cheaper to buy than spend a bunch of money to get tickets.”

Well, he had a point there. Uraraka had spent plenty days as a kid mourning over that fact. Still…

“That’s not the point,” she told him.

“Then what is it?”

“Winning, of course!” Uraraka smiled up at him. “You like to do that, don’t you?”

Bakugou came up from behind them, his hands sunk in his pockets and a glower on his face as he scoffed, “You wouldn’t know that judging from the Sports Festival.”

Before Todoroki could even respond, Uraraka poked Bakugou in the side and nearly made him yelp. “We don’t need your commentary.” Bakugou gave a look between furious and flabbergasted, which caused Deku to slam a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. He didn’t do a good job though and Bakugou ended up chasing him through the arcade all the way to the token machine.

By the time she, Todoroki, Iida, and Tsu got there, Bakugou and Deku were already in the middle of a playing a Tekken game closeby. Deku wore a look of intense concentration on his face, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, while Bakugou shouted every single thing he was doing, including, “Die!” whenever he went for a specialty move. Todoroki watched them with faint interest as all of them converted their money to tokens.

Once they got their tokens, Uraraka turned to Todoroki. “So what do you want to play first?”

“I’m…not sure,” Todoroki admitted, scanning the place. It was hard to tell, but he looked kind of overwhelmed.

Now that they were here, it was obvious to tell that he’d never been in a place like this. When they had all begun to play video games in the dorms when there was a moment of downtime, he had been confused as well. Being reminded of the fact that he hadn’t had a normal childhood made Uraraka both sad and determined. He deserved to experience some of this stuff before they were neck-deep in the throws of their jobs as pro heroes.

“Okay, we’ve got racing games, fighting games, shooting games, sports games, trick games, old school games, virtual reality games,” Uraraka listed, lifting up a finger with each one. Todoroki blinked. She pointed in Iida’s direction. “His favorite are the racing games, but there’s different kinds. You’ve got cars, motorcycles, planes, and more.” She pointed to Tsu. “Her favorite are the old school arcade games. She’s really good at them. They look easy, but they aren’t.”

Tsu beamed proudly. “No one can beat my score in Frogger.”

“What’s that?” Todoroki asked.

“Basically, it’s a game about a frog trying to cross the road without getting squashed by a car or over a river without falling or getting eaten by an alligator,” Uraraka explained.

Todoroki turned to Tsu. “Isn’t that kind of cheating?”

The two girls laughed. They knew that he was actually being serious, but it was close to being a joke as well. He was slowly figuring out his sense of humor, but honestly, the funniest moments were unintentional. Luckily, he never took offense when they laughed. She opened her mouth to apologize, but then he didn’t seem bothered at all, so she decided against it.

“Let’s try one of the shooting games,” Uraraka decided. “We can play as a team and I can help you out.”

While it had taken Todoroki some time to figure out the gaming system, these arcade games were a better fit. It was easier to play a game where the controller was closer to what real life would be instead of just a controller. She let him pick the game, so they ended up playing one where they had to shoot aliens. He picked it up quickly, even if he’d held the fake gun awkwardly at first. To be honest, once he figured out the few basics, he was even better at the game than her, but then shooting games had never been her forte.

He did jump when an alien popped up right in front of him and she laughed again. It was just so…innocent.

They both sucked at sports games, so Uraraka didn’t feel so bad. Their equally abysmal scores at the baseball game were enough to make Bakugou cackle. He bumped Uraraka to the side so that he could play Todoroki and “show them how it was done”. Despite Todoroki’s attempts to try harder, Bakugou creamed him. Uraraka pat Todoroki on the back and then glared at Bakugou as he swaggered away smirking.

Todoroki was decent at the old school games, though he wasn’t on Tsu’s level. Even then, Uraraka thought he liked them more. They were simple and required the same movements repeatedly, but once he got the hang of them, they were easier to play. It took him a multiple tries and he played a few different ones, but she caught him smiling while playing. Even if he didn’t like anything else, this little moment felt like an accomplishment. He should’ve been able to experience this before, but she was happy to have been able to give him this.

“What’s that?” Todoroki prompted after he finished playing a Donkey Kong game.

Uraraka turned to look where he was pointing and her eyes lit up. “It’s Dance Dance!” Unlike the other arcade games, it was a lot more interactive. The platform was raised so that whoever played the game felt like they were on a stage. He gave her a faintly curious look. “It plays songs and you have to follow the movements of the dancers on the screen.” She laughed. “It’s a workout!”

“Did you…want to play it?” Todoroki asked. She raised her eyebrows. “You seem excited about it.”

“Oh, I’m not that good,” Uraraka replied, blushing a little. She did love it and her eyes kept getting drawn over by the flashing lights and bubbly music, but it made her feel self-conscious too. “And you probably won’t like it.”

Todoroki shrugged his shoulders. “You’ve been playing games that I’ve picked out. It’s only fair. I can just watch this time.”

Just watch. Right. Like that made things any better. Still, he was trying to be nice and accommodating since she had been going out of her way to help him and she did want to play…

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Uraraka latched onto Iida, who happened to be passing by her at that moment. “Let’s go play Dance Dance!” He was startled by her sudden exclamation, but agreed. It was better to play with someone else anyways. That way the attention wouldn’t be all on her and she wouldn’t look so foolish. Just because she liked the game did not mean that she was any good. It was mostly just a game she played for fun and to be silly.

After picking one of her favorite songs, she and Iida set about getting ready with Iida loosening up his limbs like he was about to go for a run. She should have known right then and there that something ridiculous was going to happen, but when Iida had started to bust out near perfectly matching moves to his avatar on the screen at record speed, she was left gaping for a moment, causing her to lose points. It still made him look absurdly goofy, but Uraraka was thrown and left trying to catch up with him in a way that did not make her feel like a flailing giraffe.

Once the song over, Uraraka leaned against the bar behind her, panting heavily, and wiped off some sweat. “How are you so good at this?” she complained.

“It’s all about speed and precision,” Iida replied, as if that made any sense.

“You did a good job still,” Todoroki pointed out, acknowledging her decent grade on the screen.

Uraraka huffed. “He still kicked my butt.”

“I bet you’re better at it than Bakugou,” Todoroki told her.

“What the hell did you just say, Icy Hot?” Bakugou demanded, peering around the corner of a shooting game that he was currently playing. It was as if hearing his name set off a warning sound in his head and caused him to pop up wherever it had been spoken.

Todoroki did not blink in the face of Bakugou’s fury. “It just doesn’t seem like your type of game, is all.”

“Every game is my type of game,” Bakugou declared, abruptly dropping his current game and stomping over towards them. He jumped onto the platform and shoved Iida to the side. “Step aside, Engine Legs.”

Uraraka gawked at him. “You’re gonna play Dance Dance?”

Bakugou popped his neck and then stretched his lower back. “Yeah, what of it?”

Honestly, Uraraka could lose terribly to Bakugou in this round and she still would consider it a win. She forgot that insinuating Bakugou couldn’t do something almost automatically made him do it in order to prove that he could and they were wrong. Todoroki had pushed that exact button. She didn’t think he’d done it on purpose – it had been more like his attempt to comfort her – but it had had the effect regardless. Deku had appeared next to Todoroki, biting his lip and clearly trying not to laugh.

“Pick the song,” Bakugou told her.

Eyeing him for a moment, Uraraka turned to the game and, after careful consideration, picked the girliest, poppiest, most ridiculous song on it. He knew it too, judging from the glare that he shot her. She smiled back at him innocently. “Reconsidering?”

Bakugou didn’t respond, which told her that he was. However, he couldn’t back down now. If he left without playing, then he would look weak in his eyes. It would be embarrassing. Playing this game was humiliating, but backing out was something he considered way worse. He’d dug his grave and he’d dig further before he tried to climb out. Honestly, Todoroki had somehow managed to make this the best day ever with that one throwaway comment. She wasn’t about to forget this.

As soon as the song started, Uraraka had to use all of her focus to not break down laughing. She had to win, if only because it would make this moment that much sweeter, but seeing Bakugou attempt to play Dance Dance would be one of her favorite memories for the rest of her life. By the time they were finished, both sweating and panting, Uraraka leaned over with her hands on her knees, Deku and Tsu were laughing while Iida clapped for them.

“You chose the dumbest song,” Bakugou growled.

“What…?” Uraraka gasped for air in between giggling. “What were you doing over there?”

“I was dancing!”

Todoroki shook his head. “Even I know that wasn’t dancing.”

“You looked like one of those flailing balloon figures!” Uraraka burst out.

“Well you looked drunk!” Bakugou shot back.

Uraraka couldn’t even get bad at him for that comment. It hadn’t been her best work. Still, she grinned smugly when their scores came up and it showed that she’d beat him by ten points. He scowled and stomped off, going back to the shooting game that he’d been playing earlier. This time, when the game started up, he shot with a lot more aggression and vengeance.

“You did good,” Todoroki said as she hopped down.

“Thanks!”

“But you’re right. Definitely not my type of game.”

It was clear that he didn’t want to play it and Uraraka wouldn’t force him. She couldn’t deny that Dance Dance was an embarrassing game and it required a level of grace that she was only just now figuring out thanks to using her quirk on herself more. Still, she was pretty happy having played it. She was glad that Todoroki had brought it up.

When Todoroki expressed interest in trying a racing game, Deku dragged him over to one of the motorcycle games. They were a lot more interactive than the racecar ones. Plus, it had four different ones that were connected so that they could race each other. Uraraka took the one of the left end with Todoroki on her right, then Deku, and finally Iida. Being a racing game, Iida was determined to come in first, but it was anyone’s game. She wasn’t the best at racing games – Deku and Todoroki both had better coordination than her – but she wouldn’t go down without a fight.

Even though the fake motorcycles were wobbly, Todoroki was smooth on them. She didn’t think that he’d ever driven a motorcycle before, but he was able to move side-to-side with a balance that seemed impossible. It must have come from the way he used the ice half of his quirk – how he could skate around on the ice when the rest of them would’ve been slipping and falling over.

When Todoroki came in first, Deku exclaimed, “You’re really good at this!”

Iida ogled him. “Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

“Positive,” Todoroki replied with a shake of his head. He and Iida were tall enough to sit on the fake motorcycles with their feet pressed flat against the ground. Deku was leaning hard to the left, one foot on the ground while the other was propped up on the side of his bike. Uraraka had to lift her leg high up and hobble off awkwardly. She would’ve probably crashed to the ground if Todoroki hadn’t reached out to grab her by the arm. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah!” Heat rushed to Uraraka’s cheeks. “I’m just short. Should’ve floated myself over.”

“You all hungry?” Deku asked. “They’ve got a little food court here.”

All of them agreed to wanting something to eat. They’d been wandering around the arcade for over an hour and it was around the time they would’ve eaten dinner at the dorms. After finding Tsuyu and Bakugou, they made their way to a brightly lit side of the arcade that had a few tables. There wasn’t much in the way of food and no doubt it would be greasy, but Uraraka never minded cheap food. She’d grown up on it. In a way, it kind of reminded her of home, as silly as that was.

However, when Uraraka opened her wallet, her heart dropped. Normally she was so careful about watching what she spent when she went out, but there was something about being in an arcade that had made her forget. The expense of playing these games could catch up. She’d bought too many tokens. Of course she’d had fun and she didn’t regret it, but now she only had enough money to buy a drink. Well, she did have enough money for a meal, but it would mean dipping into her funds that she saved for other important things.

“What do you want to eat?” Todoroki asked her. He was up next at the counter after Deku finished his order.

“I wanted a cheeseburger, but…” Uraraka shut her wallet and slid it back into her back pocket. She gave him a bright smile, determined to not let her disappointment show. “Now that I think about it, I’m not really that hungry. I’m gonna go outside for some fresh air.”

Without waiting for him to respond, she turned on her heels and walked out the side door. Not having enough money was embarrassing and she didn’t want to sit around the others while they ate. She hated being reminded of that, especially when she was around Todoroki or Momo. Not that they ever humiliated her or bragged about it, but they did have money. Having the number two hero for a father did come in handy, even if he did seem like a moody asshole most of the time. By the time she came back in, they’d be finished eating and she could pretend like nothing had happened.

Wandering over to a small fountain, Uraraka sat down on the edge and relaxed. The sun was starting its decent down, casting a beautiful orange glow over the city. They’d probably head back to U.A. soon, but she wanted to enjoy the night out a little longer. She had a few tokens left, so she’d figure out how to best spend them (probably play her favorite games, Dance Dance not included) and turn in whatever tickets she had for a prize.

In her attempt to give Todoroki the best first experience at the arcade possible, she hadn’t played a lot of games that gave tickets in return, so she’d probably only be able to get some candy, but it was better than nothing. Again, she didn’t regret it. She’d had fun and, more importantly, she thought he had too. They all had.

“Hey, Uraraka.”

She looked up and found Todoroki standing in front of her. Seeing him out here was surprising enough, but then he held out a cheeseburger and her eyes widened further. “Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” He must have seen her looking at her wallet in dismay. Now she was really embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to do that though, so she wasn’t mad at him or anything.

“I wanted to thank you for tonight,” Todoroki said, still holding it out to her.

“It wasn’t anything, honestly!” Uraraka said. When her stomach growled, she connected eyes with Todoroki for one embarrassed second and then took the cheeseburger. She could deny being hungry all she wanted because of her lack of money, but her stomach wasn’t about to turn down free food.

Todoroki sat down next to her. “I wasn’t planning on coming out tonight, but Deku insisted. He and Iida said it would be good to get out and have some time off training.” He had a drink, which he passed between his hands, one hot, one cold, and she realized that it must have been a nervous habit. It was an odd realization, seeing as how she’d never seen him display one before. “I was…embarrassed, by my lack of experience and understanding, but you went out of your way to help me and I appreciate that.”

A soft smile appeared on Uraraka’s face. “I’m glad you came out.”

“Me too,” Todoroki said, stilling the drink in his hands. “The least I could do was buy your food.” He peered at her sideways. “You had fun too, right? I didn’t mean to be a hassle.”

“No, I had a ton of fun!” Uraraka insisted. “Plus, you got Bakugou to play Dance Dance. I’m never going to forget that. It was hilarious.”

Todoroki nodded his head. “He did look really…foolish.”

“Totally,” Uraraka agreed.

“There you all are!” a voice shouted. Uraraka and Todoroki looked up to see Deku and the others walking towards them, even Bakugou, who was texting furiously on his phone. Kirishima and Kaminari had been no-shows, so he was probably chewing them out. “We were wondering where you two went.”

“It feels much nicer out here,” Todoroki replied, although it had little bearing on why they’d been outside. She had just wanted to escape an awkward situation and he’d followed her out here to thank her.

“You still shouldn’t just leave without saying anything,” Iida scolded. “Something could have happened!”

Todoroki nodded, but said, “We would’ve had each other.” The throwaway comment made Uraraka blush a little more than he intended, but luckily no one seemed to notice.

It was nice out, so the others agreed to eat outside. They sat down on the fountain edge as well, digging into their food. Todoroki only had a drink in his hand, so she offered him the burger that he’d bought her. He hesitated, but then took it from her to take a bite and then hand it back. She smiled happily as she began to eat. Yeah, it was just as cheap as she’d expected, but it was the thought behind it that counted and she was more than content. She was also hungrier than she’d realized so she munched down a little faster than was appropriate, but whatever.

Tonight had been really fun. She didn’t spent a lot of one-on-one time with Todoroki, but it was nice to get to know her other classmates more. It was important to her. And it had been a big deal to her that not only she have fun, but everyone else too. Putting a smile on people’s faces was a part of being a hero too, wasn’t it?

Too distracted by eating, Uraraka missed the way Todoroki was watching her sideways, as if seeing her for the first time, and how relaxed as he was hunched over in his seat next to her. In the beginning, he had always been so tense and cold, but in this moment, as the sun set and everyone was chatting and laughing while they ate, he looked…at peace. Yeah, it was a good day.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 11]

We have made it to post-game!

Sort of!

The plot done away with, now is the time to explore the rest of the map and wrap up the entire run with one last go at the Elite Four in their final form!

Our main contestants are

still spoiler tagged!

for maximum worrying.

Let’s get marching.

Back in the room where it all began. I wonder if this beginning will also start with my friends running in unannounced and starting a battle with me. ...That would be bad, it’d better not.

...Looker. I’m gonna level with you.

I don’t wanna be a junior detective.

He’s still on the trail of Team Plasma, and has decided to assign us the task of tracking down the Seven Sages. He also gives us a Super Rod. I don’t think we could fish before this, which is kind of an odd feature for a pokemon game.

Looker’s a nut, but an endearing nut.

Ah yes, my besties.

And hey, Professor Juniper’s dad shows up to upgrade my pokedex! Half my team will no longer be without numbers!

So. Now what.

Which really means, do I let Buzz Fly me to Nimbasa or Opelucid?

I think the Nimbasa route will contain a bridge.

We’re going on the bridge.

Though before we do that, I want to check out the train area again to see if the IV person is there now that I’ve beaten the plot. I’m probably just misremembering their entire existence, but I could have sworn someone was down there.

DUDE! LOOK AT WHO’S RIGHT!

Okay okay okay we’ve got to give this a full check.

Frogger is above average, with fantastic Attack and Special Attack. Rojo is decent, with very good Special Defense. Tock is above average with very good Special Attack. Fido is above average with HP that ‘can’t be better.’ That explains a few numbers. Batman is above average with fantastic HP. Palm is above average with fantastic Speed.

Rojo, you poor, useless legendary.

You are still one of the most broken things on the team, and I love you for it.

That’s more rounded than I expected, honestly. I figured a few of them would just be terrible, and maybe one would be extraordinary, but it’s above average across the board. Which is. kind of average. Pokemon NPCs are kind people.

APTLY NAMED BRIDGE. ALSO KNOWN AS A NEW ROUTE, LET’S GO FEATHER DROPS.

The dude offering me a Magikarp to buy does not count as the first encounter. Also, I did not buy it. It is not randomized, and as we all know that means it’s awful.

That’s pretty much my reaction, word for word.

Ghetsis told them to give me the Adamant Orb. And the Lustrous Orb. And the Griseous Orb. I think those are... Diamond and Pearl’s legendary special items?

Then the ninja zoom away after telling me we’ll never meet again.

That’s one lazy way to get rid of ninja. I could have sworn I fought them once... wait, did I? That seems like something I could go back and check. Eh, whatever.

Speaking of lazy things, was Team Plasma having a giant castle ever explained? I feel like it wasn’t. I’m okay with that, I just want to know.

The inclusion of the wings you can pick up on bridges were really helpful to EV training. I don’t know how many hours I would spend biking on bridges, and frankly the answer would likely depress me, but picking up all those feather things was so useful.

Of course, I have no real use for them at the moment. I’m trying to find a pokemon in those shadows.

I found one!

Look at you, little adorable guy. Oh, girl.

Quick Ball, then faint if that doesn’t work.

Caught her!

What’s your name, though... gotta go with something musical... I dub thee Pink.

Some girl in the gateway area wants to have a Rotation Battle with me. Like a fool, I say yes, and--

Oh shit.

I was kidding when I called myself a fool, but no, yes, that classification stands. Ahahaha. Um. Okay so after this, I’m gonna. Gonna go to Opelucid instead, maybe.

I didn’t even look at Pink’s level when I caught her. It was all Quick Ball action and ignorance. Could I have been forewarned?

This is bad.

Rotation Battles in general irk me. Rotation Battles that place me at a considerable level disadvantage are. something else. Oy.

Um.

I think the Alomomola might have Water Absorb. But Frogger is the most likely to survive whatever awful thing is about to happen. So that limits me to attacking with Mud Shot or Hyper Voice until the Alomomola is downed. It’s a Normal move. It isn’t going to do much against a Steel type, and it doesn’t do much against Beheeyem either, but I think one of those probably has Levitate for their Ability.

Frogger should not be in front.

He is staying in front.

So far, none of these things are using an actual attack, which I’m grateful for.

As I say that, Alomomola uses Hydro Pump. Frogger’s still green, so. Yeah.

Frogger just keeps using Hyper Voice. He’s going to run out of PP for it. Oh well.

Next Hydro Pump gets him low enough to warrant a Hyper Potion.

Beheeyem uses Power Split. Beheeyem’s not bad and this one is a higher level, so I’m not sure how bad that is.

Good news! Nothing has Levitate, and the Klinklang is defeated!

Alomomola is also defeated!

Beheeyem is defeated!

Yikes.

That only went so well because the other trainer almost never used attacks. It was all status stuff except for Hydro Pump, which missed twice. Something would be dead if a human trainer had been guiding those move choices.

I think I’m going to go outside and check what the wild life is like. It’s possible that the huge level difference is an artificial thing with this one trainer, rather than the norm. I mean, her AI virtually never attacked me. So I’ll hold off on going to Opelucid until I get a look at what other people have.

It could also be that I am underleveled for post-game life.

One thing at a time.

Exploring time.

Oh. That guy’s a trainer. He has a level 62 Gulpin.

Okay, so I’m not comfortably leveled for this, but as long as I don’t fall into a Rotation Battle or a Triple Battle, I have items, and the exp will be worthwhile. I think I’ll keep going, with special attention paid to caution. Maybe something in the grass can help me out with some mild grinding.

I biked all the way back to a Pokemon Center.

That is how much confidence I am feeling.

Something should have a Lucky Egg, but I don’t even know if it’s safe to be here, let alone who my front runner should be.

...Fine, it’s Frogger, never mind.

I’m sorry Frogger, I have no idea why I’m so uninterested in cultivating you. I should be better about not taking you for granted and appreciate that you are the one true survivor of this squad.

It’s just you’re also level 60. So not the thing most in need of exp.

Hello possible new friend. It’s level 48, so I think it might be that the post-game sections just have a level jump for trainers. Delightful.

Quick Ball ftw, Baltoy is now Woody.

Munna’s also in this grass. I can’t help but notice these things are not great for grinding.

Trainer with a level 65 Altaria.

I think Rojo might need to try to handle it before anything more creatively unfortunate happens. Altaria’s a Special Defense pokemon, and I think has a few really great Defense-boosting stat moves. If I let it, it can sweep.

It might also be able to kill Rojo in one hit already, but.

Argh, I hate this, lol.

Rojo, go in, if something happens I’m sorry in advance.

Yeeeeeah this Altaria is doing what I thought it would and I don’t care for it. Dragon Dance plus the Cotton thing that drastically raises Defense. .I am afeared. It uses another Dragon Dance.

Oh good job Rojo. Critical hit for the save. Good job, good job.

Abomasnow is up next.

Fido, you’re up.

Fido eats it.

You know. I like this better when I’m not chronicling every single fight out of the fear of imminent death. The next trainer looks like a Fighting one, so Tock is moved to the first slot.

Are you fucking kidding me.

New plan!

We’re murdering legendaries for breakfast!

Because exp!

Side note: Air Slash has 95 accuracy. Why is it always missing.

...Oh fuck.

I hecked up. Badly. Oh fuck. no.

I thought. Tock would out-Speed. Which I would have realized was a stupid thought if I had actually spent any time thinking about Tock’s features and the fact that the Hitmontop has eight levels on him.

I thought about healing him. Those missed Air Slashes left a lot of damage.

You know what also leaves a lot of damage.

STAB Close Combat.

Stop. thinking. “oh I’m sure it will be fine.”

-cradles head in hands-

I am so sorry Tock.

I.

Fuck, this was not supposed to happen. I shouldn’t be allowed to touch Flying pokemon. Ever. Or fight Fighting pokemon. The fact that this keeps happenings suggests some underlying stupidity.

Damn it.

Damn it.

This. Tock. Buddy.

ALL THOSE FUCKING SLUGMA.

FUCK I JUST REALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EMOTIONS. I DIDN’T USE TOCK AGAINST N OR GHETSIS. ALL OF THAT EV TRAINING. ALL OF IT. FOR NOTHING BUT RANDOM FIGHTS.

ALL

THOSE

SLUGMA

IT WAS A LOT OF HOURS.

I. Hell, I am so sorry Tock. I did everything wrong for your final moments. You would still be alive (assuming Close Combat wouldn’t have killed you in one hit regardless, which... I will never get to know) if I had just been more careful and less stupid. Five seconds of common sense would have put you out of harm’s way.

I am just. so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.

You have such a sweet, innocent face and I...

I am upset?

I can’t even pick someone else for the team yet. It can wait. Nothing can really replace Tock, and I can’t act otherwise.

I can take Bandit for a walk, though. There are boulders nearby.

-eliminates Reshiram with no joy in heart-

Hell.

I think this place has more uses if you are not playing on the computer.

It has grass. That’s the important thing of the moment.

Hey little guy.

Quick Ball go, Quick Ball get.

I don’t know what to call you.

So. I’m gonna go with Tick.

FOR THE LOVE OF SOMETHING, STOP SPAMMING THE A BUTTON EQUIVALENT THROUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE I DID NOT WANT A TRIPLE BATTLE BECAUSE THAT IS LIKE THREE TIMES THE CHANCES OF DEATH AND I AM NOT DOING WELL WITH THE NORMAL CHANCES.

It works out thanks to the typing.

But geez self. Show some learning.

See, okay, the kid standing above her also wants a Triple Battle.

Now, what are we going to do?

Go to the Pokemon Center, and then say absolutely because my guys need exp.

I’m not a greatly intelligent human.

Not even a little.

It works out, though. Exp gained, no one dead.

New route.

This trainer has a level 68 Purugly.

I think. I really need to drop everything and grind for a little bit.

Frogger has fallen in love with the Purugly. He is also now paralyzed. After a turn of that, thankfully, he uses Hydro Pump and it hits.

Frogger.

I’m judging you a bit.

Level 68 Espeon. Followed by level 68 Lapras. Good grief I should not be in this place.

.

.

.

THAT ONE WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

This.

Fuck.

Uh.

So uh. There was this Future Sight Batman took. I made the executive decision that it was safer for her to be in there for it than Palm, and. I stand by that. Except then a critical hit Hydro Pump hit. And it’s a level 68 Lapras. So.

So.

You killed Boeing. By catching you, I took away your ability to kill. But I always knew you could still die. You were the terror. You were the knight.

You were Batman.

You deserved to be enshrined forever in the Hall of Fame.

But this is where we part, my friend.

Farewell.

Uh.

...4x STAB Leaf Storm.

I.

This was meant to be the grass encounter where I caught one of them?

I was focused on that?

I did not think a level 59 Petilil could kill Frogger in one shot?

This is.

Bad?

There is also a chance the Petilil is too dangerous to live?

But I catch it, so yay?

Petilil’s new name is Battousai.

And.

And.

This has been the longest hour of this run.

I am in so much more trouble than I was.

Frogger. You were my second pokemon.

You saved the day against the Elite Four.

You were dependable, and I never learned to depend on you.

I did not see us ending this way.

I am so sorry.

...

Hello.

Darkness my old friend.

I’ve come to cry at you again.

So uh.

Guess who. needs a new team.

Ahahaha I am in hell.

...

You know what. I. am going to take a break. This has been an excruciating hour. I don’t care for it. I don’t know what I should put on my new team. All I know is that this is very sad and I continue to be worse at this game than I thought.

So that’s great.

[next session start]

Alrighty then.

-stares blankly-

My party has Rock/Fighting, Fire, Grass/Fighting.

I, uh. Need to fill it.

With stuff.

Piglet (Spoink). You’re coming with. Buzz and Bandit will come along with HMs. I’ll see if I can hit the other routes, then figure the rest of this mess out.

Right. Lesgo.

On the comforting side, the first trainer we see has a level 65 thing too. So the side picked didn’t severely change the outcome of. things.

The first thing I see is Lairon, but I have an Aron.

-considers-

Let’s see if I can catch you.

Score, I can. I forgot the Quick Ball, but damage lined up to make it a clean catch. I’mma name you Daffy.

I think. I need to grind more than anything. My surviving team is very much at risk, and Piglet is wholly untrained. Both of those things need fixing. Hopefully it won’t involve chasing down Slugma.

To Dragonspiral and Jellicent, I guess. One step at a time.

(Bandit learned Surf, by the way. Because. Something needed to know that.)

Piglet is evolving! Form of... Grumpig!

Bodacious.

What EVs does Reshiram give? Because if it’s Special Attack...

That’s worth investigating.

Cue nothing but Baltoy. ...I also don’t know what Baltoy gives. ...Or Snorunt. Snorunt is also here. Along with Piplup.

Reshiram gives Special Attack.

I’m taking this as confirmed based on recording several levels of Piglet’s stats attacking nothing but Reshiram. A wild extra point of Special Attack appeared. That makes some things so much easier. I don’t know the exact numbers on what I’m looking for out of Piglet (I think maybe max HP, some convenient split of Special Defense, Defense, and Special Attack), but. Geez this is a relief.

Looking at the numbers though, Piglet isn’t going to be able to pack much of a punch no matter how many EVs I pour into him. I need to focus on tank power.

Maxing HP, then whatever’s left will go to Special Defense and Defense.

Only not in that order.

My memory being what it is, I’m not sure, but I think Relicanth might have Defense and Attack EVs. So I’m just here for Cloyster. I’ll down twenty, then go back to HP grinding. Simple.

Cue no Cloyster.

I should level up Bandit so I start getting better stuff with all this walking.

[one hour later]

This is still boring. I should have figured out my other replacements so I could do this all at once. At least one would have to have similar EV desires, right?

But then I’d have to figure out the other two.

My guess is it will be Yanmega and Jellicent. Fluttershy and Peanut.

But.

I want to wait. Just. Just in case.

Also, screw it, Bandit gets the other Exp. Share. I have two, I’m going to use them. I’m also going to use some PP Ups on Fido’s Flamethrower. Healing after every fifteen fights is. No.

[many hours later]

Okay. HP handled.

Sigh.

The journey continues.

[another hour (okay maybe not really)]

Yay!

I think what I want to do right now is level up what I have rather than focus on training any other new ones. I need to watch those exp bars zoom to the moon. It will sustain me in my grief/exhaustion.

Since I’m in Opelucid anyway, I’m just going to go right and hang in the grass until I’m slightly more confident in the ability of my team to not die.

Wild Pichu are not that helpful in that endeavor. Nor are Mime Jr. Granbull. You are our only hope in this arena.

...

I miss Tock [’s Shadow Ball] so much.

The fear of death is omnipresent. Too much has happened. Where once there was confidence, now there is only dread. Recovery is a faint glimmer of a dream off in the distance.

Neat. Kingdra is also here.

-tilts head-

Yeah, repeats. But still.

I wonder if anything helpful’s in the water.

Well. There’s a level 35 Surskit.

Leaning towards a hard no.

Oh wait, what am I doing. It should be all legendary murdering all the time.

It’s so frustrating, because I just keep thinking hey, I can go fight the trainers along the path for more exp! Then the rest of me remembers that I should not do that.

I don’t think I checked out the dark grass in the route I found Reshiram. I’ll check that out for a quick look. It will possibly be followed by running away as fast as humanly possible, but eh.

That’s not too bad.

...Ah. Levels 58 and 57.

Their danger levels and their exp levels sadly do not line up. Gonna stick with the Reshiram grass.

...Also gonna check what’s in the water of the route with the level 68 hellbeasts.

NO I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU TURNED AROUND.

-deep breath-

-deep scream-

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

Level 64 Primeape, Piglet gets switched in. ..And survives a Close Combat crit.

So then, Piglet is at 23 HP thanks to two Thrashes, and now Palm is out to hopefully do away with a level 64 Scrafty. Yes, because Palm is Palm Wonderful. Last one is a level 64 Poliwrath. Palm gets a crit because Palm loves us.

Piglet learns Power Gem because I don’t have the guts to use Rest as a real strategy.

All right. Lived.

Super Rod leads to Palpitoad. That’s not a bad thing to know. Regular Surfing leads to Wigglytuff. That’s better than the Reshiram grass for leveling if it’s the only thing in the water. But then there’s Shellder.

New area!

Undella Town and Undella Bay are different places, so I must take care with Surfing for my new friend.

This is the town’s choice. I throw a Quick Ball. Metapod caught. Now if only he had a name. Hm.

You can be Crystal.

And this is the choice of the bay. Another Quick Ball is thrown. A Hoothoot is caught. Her name is Winnie.

I’m fast approaching the end of new areas. The map is almost completely lit up.

I think it might be okay to face trainers in the water, because I have Palm. So I’m going to try that, and hope I don’t soon have reason to cry like a baby again.

Level 63 Staryu.

You know, my new question is why that one girl had level 68 monstrosities.

There’s a Quagsire here that we don’t get to catch. ;-;

Oo, and Electrode. I’ve always loved Electrode. It smiles.

I have the HM for Dive now! Yay?

RUN

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

RUN.

-severe whimpering noises-

We are not in any way, shape, or form ready for post-game Cynthia. I have memories of grinding against her and others in this house thing, but those teams were allowed to come back after dying.

I will fight her before I fight the Elite Four. Because if I can’t beat her, I have no business facing the Elite Four again (...I think).

Okay, moved up to Route 13 because I don’t actually have anything that can learn Dive. New area. Time to see what we get.

Hmmmmmmmm. Quick Ball get.

Finneon’s new name is F9.

I can’t help but notice that other trainers don’t walk around with level 68 pokemon. I guess that means I really am exploring the entire map before I start training another pokemon. That is possibly misguided, but I really just... am not ready to finalize my final (I hope) team.

Um.

I.

Wait, what the fuck?

I. I was typing.

WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS TYPING. PALM TOOK A HEX BUT HIS HP WAS STILL GREEN AND THEN.

WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

It uses Hydro Pump against Piglet, so if I were to guess...

How is this still getting worse.

Palm.

Palm Wonderful.

I have no words.

I am distraught.

I will miss you so much.

I no longer have the option of being cute about this. I can’t be walking around with three pokemon in an area where I’m losing them at this rate. I guess the simple fact is that things are now high enough level to know seriously dangerous moves, and there is no truly safe option except for absurd over-leveling.

I need to select three new ones.

I have Fido, Rojo, and Piglet. Fire, Rock/Fighting, and Psychic. I can basically pick whatever I want. And as much as I hate to say it, Palm’s loss keeps me from being overstocked on Fighting. So. If I wanted...

But what do I want?

I want to stack the deck. How do I do that.

IV checker. Everything I might consider using is getting a free checkup.

It’s a sea of “above average”s. With a few “decent”s here and there.

Maybe I should try something different. Maybe I should just select the pokemon I love most. That’s the point of a Nuzlocke, right? Getting attached? In terms of Type coverage, there are things I can do, but. I don’t wanna do that. I want to pick the things I love most. If it has good odds on ending horrifically no matter what I do, I want to have as much fun as possible.

Swiper and Wagston are in. As for the last one, that remains to be seen.

If memory serves, Riolu evolves into Lucario with good happiness during the daytime. So I should start walking. He will also be given a Soothe Bell. I think I’ll spend my time leveling up what remains. Rojo can kill a million Reshiram and become a demigod in addition to a legendary.

Oh, and sportsball. Let’s go do today’s.

Baseball! Baseball is fun.

Have I been here since finishing the plot?

I have, right? There isn’t going to be a huge level jump?

This level 65 Persian staring me down says I’m a moron.

-paces-

I should not be here. I should leave. Straight away.

But Piglet is a tank. Everything I uses in battle is over 60.

This stupidity is now on record. I’m going to try to beat the baseball peeps.

This level 66 Simipour makes me miss Palm so terribly.

Wow, I should not be doing this.

And yet.

There are a lot more trainers here now.

Level 64 Conkeldurr vs level 64 Piglet. My future nightmares start this way.

Piglet is victorious, and we continue this horrible decision!

...

You know what, this is stupid. Piglet hurt himself in confusion twice, then I used a Lemonade to get him back to full health, then the Unfezant’s Sky Attack did. That.

So. This is going badly.

Piglet, I swear I’d say sorry, but I’m mostly just dwelling on how amazingly screwed I am. So. Uh.

So.

tfw I have two usable pokemon!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #55

whoa.  random surge in followers overnight.  uh.  hi.  i’m here to disappoint.

have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? yeah. chels and i were up two nights later than that because we couldn't sleep. the last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? mom, they're brown. do you own a trench coat? i wish. they're cool. are you currently in a smoking environment? no, you're not allowed to smoke in my house. have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? i'm afraid to call anyone who isn't my mom. the last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? yeah. i'm two seconds from fighting with her right now because she knows exactly how to be an ignorant bitch. are you scared of anything irrational?  is pregnancy an irrational fear? how about whale sharks? can you do a cartwheel?  nope. never have been able to. do you watch the super bowl just for the commercials? i don't watch the super bowl period. the only time i ever did was on my 16th birthday because i was at jason's house and the giants were playing, his dad's favorite team, and the whole family was over. first time i kissed jason on the cheek was when they won. how often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? why? i've actually never done that. have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? of course. i didn't believe it would have anything to do with being a crumbling piece of shit. i thought i would be fearless, responsible, and just overall prepared. have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? i mean i guess i have, since i've committed myself to a mental hospital more than once? and i really do a mix of both... just depends. do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one?  i have no tumblr friends, i have one rp bd, i have a number on deviantart... if you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? if you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? it's usually an "oh, that's cool." nothing cool. when you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? i mean, mildly i guess. do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today?  one day, sure. do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? if i feel i look pretty, sure. and yeah, bc i feel happy that they took a picture of themselves that makes them feel gorgeous. are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? what about films with shady directors or plot points? how do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? the song that immediately comes to mind is "bitches" by hollywood undead. i DO NOT know why i like it, but i do. as far as liking artists go, it doesn't affect whether or not i'll enjoy them. it's just expression, the way i see it. what is your opinion of protest marches? what about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? what do you think is the best method to actually enact change? i have no problem with protests, but i'm more iffy when it interferes daily activities, like if you do shut down a highway. i think the best way to enact change is by exposing a person to the issue, but sometimes that isn't enough, anyway. do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? no, i don't believe in parallel universes. what if you died in your sleep tonight? maybe it'd be a good thing, honestly. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? more than once. are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? i'm certain. name one person you wish you could fix things with? jason, period. when was the last time you completely broke down? not even an hour ago. colleen pissed me off beyond belief. have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem? i mean, i've drunk to forget about them for a while, but not to solve them. what are you listening to right now? sleeping with sirens' cover of "iris" has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? not pretty enough to keep him around. what do you think of therapists? i've seen no less than ten, and for the most part, they want money and to shove medicine down your fucking throat. would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? no. i really don't know how i feel about artificial insemination. if a little kid walked up to you and asked, “are you goth?”, how would you respond? "maybe." does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”?  no, because heartbreak is a very valid, serious emotion. why aren’t you talking to the last person you kissed? because he fucking hates me and i'm pretty sure i'm one word from a restraining order, survey maker. are you mad at someone right now? pretty sure i'm eternally stuck in a mad state towards jason's girlfriend ashley. because i'm a child. has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? hm. funny. he's not here anymore. has a laptop ever burned your legs?  so bad that my stretch marks there are burned into the flesh, yes. when at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap?  nope. do you want to be friends with your recent ex? if he's with anyone but me, as selfish as that sounds? no. i'd rather die. what did you hate most about your last relationship? i "hated" nothing about it. do you understand the true meaning of “loving someone so much it hurts”? hello, darkness, my old friend. i know it too well, and am experiencing it now. i have a terrible headache and feel sick to my stomach. has true love had a way of showing you that it can conquer anything? no, because it can't. sorry to crush your fairytale. did you ever play frogger when you were a kid? fuck yeah. i could only ever beat the first level tho lmao. do you love deep? too deep. can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? yes, easily. the only problem being is i'm well aware i'd have MASSIVE trust issues for a while. what's your favorite vegetable? broccoli, i guess. where would you like to be in 5 years? with a job. with someone i sincerely love. what was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? jason leaving me. it, literally, scarred me for life. would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? depends on the beliefs that vary. ex., i will date someone of a different religion (depends on the religion though, really), but to be totally honest, i wouldn't date someone who was, like, pro-choice. it really depends on the belief, because your beliefs portray important, certain parts of you. what did your last relationship teach you? that literally anyone will hurt you. what do you think of online dating? i honestly don't know. i don't think it's for me personally, even tho i'm on one... do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? what do i prefer? both. but guess who's the only one doing the chasing in this scenario... do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? i mean it has a potential to ruin them, but at the same time, if you're with the right person, it'll only make yours stronger. would you relocate for love? for a new relationship? no. for a long-term partner? yeah. have you seen the person you love/like recently? how is he/she doing? no, and i don't fucking know. what color is your jewelry box?  oh no... sigh. my jewelry box is black with gold trimming. it's very intricate and beautiful. jason got it for me one christmas. can you solve a rubik’s cube? nope. have you ever watched porn?  no, and i don't plan on it. have you ever sleep walked? no. what would you want to be written on your tombstone? maybe "she joined the black parade"??? lol i saw it on pinterest once and loved it. would love to incorporate my taste of music on my tombstone. mom wants "my body lies, but still i roam" from "wherever i may roam" by metallica on hers. do you like carrots? noooo. have you ever worn lingerie?  no. what is your favorite profanity? "fuck," because there's usually so much emotion behind the word. have you ever masturbated?  no, the idea's just... really gross. i don't care how clean i am. would you rather be hated or forgotten? i know what it's like to be forgotten. i'd rather be hated. spit or swallow?  ... i'm going to just go along with this and let my mind be dirty like you want it to, and say it's not going in my mouth to begin with, sorry. what was your first rated r movie? "scary movie," i think. who was your favorite musician as a kid? do you still like them now?  i think my first true favorite band was green day, and yes, i still love them. have you ever gotten ‘bullied’ over social media? was it anonymous or not?  not via social media, but rather on a forum. it was not anonymous. if you could get a piercing anywhere, and not have to worry about it healing, where would you get one?  my favorite piercing overall is a labret lip piercing, so i guess that. i'd get my back dermals pierced if i didn't have to worry about the possibility of them ripping out. if you could only have one type of sex for the rest of your life, would you choose anal, vaginal, or oral?  anal grosses me out, oral grosses me out, so vaginal. who or what do you love unconditionally?  jason, my mom... what is something you have done that you’re proud of?  many small things, really. what’s your blood type? a what was the last thing you giffed?  i've never managed to make a proper gif when you go out to breakfast, what do you order? pancakes, eggs, bacon or sausage is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? in some cases, i tend to whisper, "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? no. what’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? "love." it's so sincere and sweet. would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? duh. have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? yup. ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? i knew jason was leaving me like a week before it happened. kept asking him if he was going to leave me, he kept saying no. fucking liar. what do you check out first when you check someone out? i don't really check people out. it's lustful. i mean i may see someone i think is attractive, but my eyes don't linger. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? no, honestly. i'm not a baby. i'm a woman. do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships? if you're not tight on money, i guess i do. it shows you're serious. but like i just mentioned, if you're not very blessed financially, just stick with the engagement and wedding rings. can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? no. why were you last frustrated? now. my best friend is ridiculously close-minded. how much have you changed in the last year or so? i've only gotten more and more depressed. do you have a favorite name? what is it? yeah, alessandra. what was your favorite disney movie as a kid? is it still your favorite? the lion king, and i think so. or finding nemo. when did you first start using the internet often? idk what age, but i know it was when i got into neopets. have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? yes, actually. have you ever been called vain? do you agree with them? no. do you believe prayer really works? you know, i don't really know. don't get me wrong, i'm a christian, but i have prayed enough, and it hasn't done jackshit. ever dated someone you were best friends with first?  i'm not sure i would've called him my "best" friend, no. last person to take off your pants, besides you? jason. think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? too. many. times. what’s something you really want right now, be honest?  i want jason, honest to god. who was the last person to yell at you? colleen, i think. what motivates you to go to school? i really shouldn't answer this right now... have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? already far out of it. does your animal sleep with you? no, mom doesn't let him, because he's old and has accidents. do you own a robe? no. i found a bat one on pinterest tho that i really want. do you bathe your pets regularly? not as often as i should, to be fair. i try to give him a bath once a month. do you own any Batman movies? no, despite really liking the dark knight and the dark knight rises. i'll never be able to own them, because jason loooves batman. thus, ptsd trigger. do you believe vampires are real? no. are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? i... honestly do. this didn't start up until jason left, and after thinking through it, i realized i do this because by him leaving, a part of me feels like all my interests were like, de-validated or something, like it made them so they were "wrong" and "unlikable?" i mean i even do this to my best friend. she doesn't know half the shit i enjoy. do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? you mean they don't do that anymore?! when was the last time you babysat, if ever? did anything bad happen? YEARS ago for my neighbor. nothing bad happened, but she did run around naked when i was changing her diaper lmao. do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? or is that weird? NONONOONOONO TOO SHY how many people have you kissed in your lifetime so far? who were they? romantically, i've only ever kissed jason. do you know anyone named alyssa? if so, elaborate. yes. old forum rp partner. still a decent friend. she's probably markiplier's biggest fan and even has a warfstache tattoo. i worry about her occasionally, though, from some of her facebook posts. would you ever take a pole dancing class? hmmm. i wouldn't rule it out completely, because i really appreciate dancing, but realistically, no, i don't think i would. especially at my weight. when is the last time you pulled an "all nighter" (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? what was the reason you did so, and was it worth it? the last time i stayed up purely all night was when "world of warcraft: legion" released, so that was uh, september i think? to be totally honest, i did it mostly out of nostalgia; when "wow: warlords of draenor" released, back when jason and i were still together, we stayed up all night for that, too. i mean, i guess it was worth it. that game was once very important to me. what is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven't (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? conversely, what is one life experience you've had that most people around you haven't? at my age, definitely sex. people are so surprised when i reveal my virginity. one life experience i've had that most haven't is just living with a mental illness. do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? what's the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you've given an animal? i'll call teddy a variety of things... "teddy-boo," "my boo," etc. name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. why is it so egregious to you? what should happen to someone who does it? rape. there is literally no reason to do it, that's why it pisses me off so much, and it's beyond degrading to the victim. honestly? i almost support the death penalty when it comes to rape. if you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home? canada or germany, i guess. i'd prefer germany, but if i really wanna be in an english-speaking land, then canada. what's the last time that you were really happy? what were you doing? who were you with? what made that time so special? i would say when i was drunk a few days back, but i dunno if you'd consider that true happiness. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? yeah. i'm not skinny, so. who were the last people you saw besides from family? chelsea do you only wish the best for your ex? you want the honest truth? i don't know what i wish for him if i'm not going to be with him. i guess if i really thought about it, i don't, considering i don't want him to marry or have kids with anyone but me. all other things though, i mean yes, i wish him the world. do you think that once people get married, they eventually fall “out of love?” no! have you ever been called a tease? teehee. when was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? new year's when chelsea showed me this video meme related to jimmy neutron. i was tipsy though and normally wouldn't have laughed that hard. have you ever been stalked? no. which band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? hmm. otep, i guess. the last person you kissed, were they a good kisser? he's italian, baby. do you throw things when you’re angry? no. do you hit things when you’re angry?  i've punched my headrest before. are you missing school yet?   literally the only thing i miss about it is jason. your ex calls wanting to hang out. what do you say?   ever seen a woman fangirl?  because that's what you'd see.  anyway, i'd try to be really calm and say, "of course!" would you get back with your last ex if they asked you?   fucking YES, if he apologized to me for all that happened and i believed he truly meant it. do you want someone dead?   ... yeah. are you the one that normally makes the first move?   with my history, i guess i kinda am. when was the last time you sang along with a song? which one was it?   i believe it was earlier today when i played "this is gospel" by p!atd what’s your favorite type of cake?   red velvet where did your first kiss take place?   jason's bed can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you?   my mom comes with me how long is your average shower?   like eight minutes do you like pineapple on pizza?   no. do you want a tattoo?   i have a pinterest board of about 100 ideas i'm highly considering, lmao. what posters do you have in your room?   in my current room, i only have one; it has a unicorn seeing a therapist that's saying "you need to believe in yourself." my old/real room, i have uhh... metallica, marilyn manson, various silent hill, illidan, and other posters. what was your elementary school’s mascot?   bulldog what was the last job you applied for?   i don't know.  i did a mass application months ago. do you use your turn signals when you’re driving?   of course. how tall is the last person you kissed?   5'9'', i think. are you wasting your time on the person you like?   i'm sure i am. have you ever watched a movie in another language?   not a full movie, no. are you afraid to answer sexual questions?   not really. what is your favorite type of cat?   ummm i love persians, sphynxes, and fuck i'm forgetting one... do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? why or why not?   no, and honest to god, fuck you if you've got a problem with it.  GUESS WHAT BOOBS ARE FOR???  FEEDING HER OFFSPRING!  sorry to sound so volatile, but holy fuck i'm passionate about this. name one of your ex’s mother’s names?   virginia.  i miss her.  a lot. have you ever been prescribed narcotics?   xanax, yes.  i'm going to talk to my doctor about putting me back on it, because it actually fucking worked.  i was taken off of it because it was a narcotic. have you ever had a concussion?   yeah.  i passed out in my shower and banged my chin against the floor, leaving a deep gash. is there an animal that you’re afraid of?   WHALE SHARKS, maggots, some spiders. what is your favorite eeveelution (evolution of the pokemon eevee)?   OHHHH GOD DON'T EVEN.  lmao honestly i'm tied between espeon and umbreon, i really love them both, but i guess if it was like choose or die, i really like espeon.  she's so majestic.  out of the original three, i like vaporeon the most. which part of your state/province do you live in[upper,lower,middle]?   eastern, like two hours from the beach. do you chew on your hair?   ew, no. do you eat more home cooked meals or more ‘quick n easy’ type of foods?   quick 'n easy, i guess.  like mom will usually buy pre-packaged hot dogs, chicken nuggets, ground beef for hamburgers, etc. do you eat even when you’re not hungry?   i wouldn't be overweight otherwise.  in my defense, it's because of my depression.  i feel so fucking empty and i confuse it with hunger. do you go insane without music?   i mean, not really.  don't get me wrong, i love music, but i don't go insane if i'm not listening to it for a while. is there an upcoming concert you want to go to?   carolina rebellion, yes.  cr is where TONS of rock and metal bands play at the same concert over the course of a few days.  korn's coming to this one, who i'm really keen on seeing. is technology outsmarting humans?   in some ways, certainly. how often do you use mouthwash?   like never, but i wish we had some. what is your favorite musical?   i don't like musicals, honestly. do you like the smell of burning leaves?   noooo. do you tend to laugh when people get hurt, even when it’s serious?   if i think it was serious, i never laugh, i honestly gasp and panic, but if you just like, trip, i admit, i'll laugh if i know you, but i'll still ask if you're okay. are you procrastinating something right now?   kinda. have you tried those new banana creme oreos?   no, sounds gross.  i usually hate banana-flavored stuff. when was the last time you went out of state?   last summer for ashley and nick's wedding.  we drove just barely into virginia.

[ecotone99]

[TH] The Window

It sits in the far corner of my bedroom. The glass itself is thin and old; not quite as old as the stained panes of cathedrals, but bottoms thickened corn syrup from standing upright over time. I always found it interesting that glass is not a solid, but in fact a super cooled liquid. If you think about the amount of time we spend behind it, and how much is around us, it's almost as if we’re swimming in a way. Drifting through crystal seas that reflect us back at ourselves. My super has asked a million times if i'd like it to be replaced to keep the heat in and the cold out, but I've grown quite attached to it.

Standing 7 feet high, almost floor to ceiling, with beautiful, ornate molding, it has become my big screen. The molding is probably crown, but I don’t know terms like this, and I certainly don't care. I just think it's beautiful. The frame, as the walls in my apartment, are painted white and are just as distressed as the glass. Cracks and fissures caressing the delicate woodwork like spider webs, fine and barely visible.

I sit there every day on my chair and sip my coffee. Stare across at the building adjacent, the sky, or street lights and sidewalk. Everything seems brighter through that translucent portal. I watch the people below me scurry across the street, hurrying to their jobs, and their lovers, their babies and friends and parties. I imagine sometimes I’m a Queen bee watching all of my worker bees buzzing about and doing my bidding for me. Commanding the upkeep of the hive to ensure the survival of our species.

Today was special though, and my window did not disappoint. Today was the day I watched them move in. So full of love and life and laughter. I imagine that it was quite difficult hauling that overstuffed couch up 8 flights of stairs. I happen to know that the building across from mine has no elevator. The entire reason I now sit in awe of this beautiful couple hauling boxes into their bare boned living room. Sweet kisses and caresses, a brush of the hair here, a slap on the ass there. There's no doubt they must be newly in love. Just moving in together. I think back to a time when that was me, and smile at the reverie. Different now, but not for the worse. Memories of passionate sex and equally passionate fighting flood my mind. Late nights, chinese take out, cheap bottles of wine spilled on even cheaper thrift store carpets because the floor is just slightly uneven and could never properly support a table with legs. Making love to Him against the wall in the hallway because we couldn't make it in the building that one time. They laugh together as she trips over a box, and he catches her. I watch her look up at him and he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. My doorbell rings, I hear the delivery boy call out and I sigh audibly at the interruption of my private show. Hurried, I paid him, put a plate together, and settled back down on my chair to full blown porn. He has her up against the wall now; her long, lithe legs wrapped snugly around his back. Looking at her face, I feel like she's faking it, there's just the slightest twinge of pain there, but hey, maybe it's just me and she's into that. I am just looking at them through a window.

I bore quickly and walk away. I’ve seen enough sex in my life to know how this ends. Taking my plate into the kitchen I scrape it into the garbage pail that's just a bit too big for this galley of mine, and glance at the clock. 7:38.

I wander back into my bedroom, and settle back down into my chair. I love this chair. Given to me by my grandmother, it's got a grace about it that i truly feel you don't find in furniture anymore. It's classy and elegant. Eggplant purple and upholstered in a super soft suede slightly faded by years of use. I imagine sometimes it sat in the corner of a speakeasy, and has stories of moonlight liquor and torrid affairs hidden deep within its silked fibers. The couple has every light on in the apartment now, and for a brief second I wonder why I didn't move there in the first place. Vaulted ceilings leading to a master suite, and then I am reminded of the 8 floor walk up that I just did not want to brave. The energy has shifted now, I can feel it, and I tilt my head as I scan their windows for them. The living room has wall to wall glass, but the bedroom and kitchen do not, and I frantically look for bodies to continue this peep show. You should always put up curtains first.

That’s when I see her. Stunning in an all black dress, her light brown hair flowing over her shoulders, she was a dark Jessica Rabbit running through toon town. I watch her walk up to the window, her face reflecting something sad. I watched him walk out, Shirtless with a belt in his hand. My jaw dropped as I watched him walk up to her. Ok he's going to comfort her... Wait? What? Respectively, He put the belt around her neck, she reached up to pull it off and I lifted my phone to call 911, my vision blurring and hands shaking as I frantically scrambled to unlock my phone. I blinked rapidly, my heart pounding and tears already forming in my eyes. And then He was gone. It was just her. I rubbed my eyes and looked harder as if the window was obstructing something. But no. Just her, and no dress. No belt. No psychotic boyfriend.

I caught my breath and contemplated closing the curtains for the night. The clock read 9:15. The city was lit with life, and I love to sleep in the warm glow of it, so pushing that thought aside, I climbed into bed and turned the TV on, but I couldn't help myself. I turned it back off and walked to my kitchen to pour a glass of wine. When I walked back in, I felt the glass slip from my hands as I looked at a pool of red velvet spread across the hardwood floor in the apartment across the way.

No.

I snatched my keys and raced out of my apartment, only remembering my phone when I was half way out, but it was too late for that. Sliding down the stairs because the elevator would not be quick enough. When I got to my lobby and out the door,, the air was crisp, but not too cold, and felt soothing on my burning lungs that were screaming to support my out of shape body. I was just in no position to worry about the weather as I played frogger with the traffic and burst into the door of the building across the way.

8 floors. Each step screaming into every fiber of me. Move faster, get there. My legs carried me two at a time until I got to the apartment door and banged. Running into it with my shoulder, it exploded open, and I fell into emptiness with a clutter and thud of a thousand warriors. I quickly composed myself and stumbled to my feet, racing into the living room, and screamed. No boxes. No furniture. No beautiful girl laying in a placid pool of her own life. My eyes darted around, unsure of what it was I was looking at and what I had watched, literally, all day. I could feel the hot sting of tears well up in the corners of my eyes.

This can't be right.

I searched the entire apartment. Top to bottom. Not a trace of a human soul was to be found. Petrified, I left, sure to close the door behind me. That's when I noticed the broken yellow crime scene tape. I reached down to lift it with my hand, and it gently fell through and fluttered to the floor. Like lightning, my body jolted....

They say I was killed by an Intruder. That I had been getting ready for a night out with my lover. I was dressed and waiting for him. At first they thought it was BDSM gone wrong. We were into that, until they realized that the woman across the street had seen everything, and called the police. Too late, but she tried.

She happened to be looking out her window.

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[tak4hir0]

“Perspective is worth 80 IQ points.” Alan Kay This quote is meaningful to me as I’ve often struggled with a problem until an insight from a user test “changed my perspective”. I had this intuition that video games would also change my perspective. They seemed so much edgier, playing with deeper and more experimental UX techniques. I wanted to go well beyond classic “gamification”. That was all the rage a decade ago where apps used toys like “achievements” to encourage app use. Of course, given what we’ve learned in the last few years about the overuse of mobile phones and social media, it also seems irresponsible to make our apps “sticky” or “addictive”. I was looking for something deeper. Games felt more visceral to me and I wanted to understand them better and see where it took me. I’m an avid gamer but they felt a bit foreign to me as a UX designer. For example, one of the first game terms I learned was “juicy”, which refers to the amount of video effect you get for any action. Juicy games feel just a bit overwhelming but in a good way. This might be fun but likely counter productive. I wasn’t looking to overwhelm the user. My other concern was that games create tension. When you approach a fight in a game, you need to master a range of skills or your character will loose. If you were to ask any competent UX designer to design the perfect flow to beat a monster they would simply have a single button “Beat Monster”. That’s the paradox I was facing. Games felt like they were about sparkles and tension. Great app UX is about minimalism and simplicity. Fortunately, I found Raph Koster, the author of A Theory of Fun. Raph is known as a “Game Grammarian” and deeply deconstructs how games are made. His book is a very game-like exploration of how games work. Much like how Understanding Comics is a comic about how comics work. I met with Raph several times over 8 weeks where we took his book apart, applying it to my world of UX design. He was energetic and excited to find a parallel world that could benefit from his work. I’ve been in UX design for over 30 years and I was a bit, well, set in my ways. Raph was patient and in a good-natured way enjoyed skewering my misconceptions. This article is my journey fighting through these misconceptions. Misunderstanding 1: Just copy cool tricks The game Horizon: Zero Dawn has an amazing heads-up-display UI. It just seemed obvious to me that there was potential for mobile apps. Raph’s point was that video games create these new UIs all the time. It would be a never ending list if I just copied what games are currently doing. His advice was to go a bit deeper and first understand how games create these types of UI. Misunderstanding 2: Games are linear and plot driven Games have the ability to force situations, such as running into a canyon and having nowhere to go but up a ladder. Apps on the other hand, usually have the opposite, offering a broad toolkit of choices. Games, I thought, can exploit narrative to force situations which made their life easier. Raph said yes, games do use plot (they are a form of entertainment after all) but his point was that great games go so much deeper than just plot, usually working on low level mechanics first. You only have to appreciate the 12 ways to jump in Super Mario Odyssey to appreciate his point. Misunderstanding 3: Gamers practice over and over. Games have it easy Raph laughed when I said this. “You realize”, he said patiently, “that most games fail?” This made perfect sense the moment he said it. Of course, only the best games reward practice. You have to design a great game to get people to have the confidence that practicing is worthwhile. The upshot is that the Raph convinced me to forgo any quick and easy ‘cookbook of tricks’ approach to this problem and go deeper and understand better how games are built, from the bottom up. His book covers a wealth of material and I encourage you to read A Theory of Fun for more detail. But we came up with six “lenses” that cover the transition of his book to UX design. The six ‘lenses” of Video Game UXI want to be clear that video games are not exactly like applications. The goal here isn’t to copy games but instead be inspired by them. Many UX designers devour Edward Tufte’s books on information design not because they expect to visualize complex data sets themselves but more by the joyful intellectual insight that comes from understanding data patterns he describes so well. Lens 1: Story vs Narrative The first point Raph made felt a bit overly specific, calling out the difference between the words “Story” and “Narrative”. They felt quite similar to me but his point was that “Story” is author generated while “Narrative” is user generated. Game designers create a series of events (A-B-C) you have to pass through but what users actually do is often a surprising pattern of: staying on on step A for a very long timeskipping step B entirelycircling around step C multiple times. At first I thought he was just describing classic user testing. Of course users go through your design in ways you didn’t expect, all experienced UX designers know this. But his point was deeper: it’s not the journey, but how users recall the experience. Users will always create narrative. It’s just human nature, they will go through any experience and remember it by constructing a narrative. This is what game designers understand deeply. If your story has huge gaps and doesn’t lead the user carefully then users can’t help themselves, they will create their own narrative that fills in the gap. Most apps today will just “throw” 5 new features into an app with little connection between them. Users however, will create a narrative to help them understand what they are seeing, even if none exist. What narrative could they construct? They are likely making up stories that would frighten you. Anyone who has done user testing appreciates this. Users ‘connect the dots’ in ways that will astound, often creating mythologies that were never intended. APPS Just throw in a bunch of features into a pot. GAMES Understand everything is a journey. Work hard to make everything a closely connected arc of events that help the user create a narrative that matches the overall story. EXAMPLE 1: The best example of this is the original 1984 Macintosh boot sequence. Every PC of it’s day had a simple power switch which just ‘beeped’ when turned on, followed by a bunch of streaming and confusing text. The Mac booted into a startup screen showing only a pattern with a smiling Mac. Nothing more, no text, no gibberish. Eventually the desktop appeared but it was just a tiny variation, the same desktop but with an added menu bar, a disk icon and a trash can. The boot sequence started with a promise that resolved into a working desktop. The Promise The Delivery Not only that, but the corners of the display were rounded which made it look more like a desktop ‘blotter’ which were popular back then. Even more, the trash can added depth to the illusion by getting ‘stuffed’ when you put something into it. The Mac took a very hardware driven concept, turning on your computer, and turned it into theater. Yes it had the boot sound, but it then showed a promise, a compromise of the final desktop and as it booted, ‘inflated’ that promise with the final working model. Why people loved the Mac is often misunderstood. I’d claim that it’s this dedication to taking people on a carefully crafted story, one which allowed users to craft a compatible narrative, that is at the heart of this devotion. EXAMPLE 2: Another more modern example is this landing page for Paypal. Notice how the page clearly invites you to choose. Are you a “Personal” user or a “Business” user? As you mouse over each section, the story unfolds, expanding your choices, offering you things you can easily understand and identify with. Each branch has a clear call to action. This is a beautiful story telling sequence that pulls you in and gets you to become an active part of the on-boarding process. Lens 2: Games are fractal Raph uses the game Frogger to explain what he means by “Games are fractal”. This single screen is composed of several levels. At first you are in a safe starter area at the bottom where you can move back and forth freely with no risk. Second is the street, where you have to dodge cars followed by a river which is a bit trickier as both the road and the ‘cars’ are moving. Finally you get into a ‘parking’ area where it’s easy to get into the first one but progressively harder as they fill up. But he literally means ‘fractal’ in that the game isn’t a simple linear “cross the road, cross, the river, and park your frog sequence. Of course, at the surface level, that’s true but his point is that it’s a nesting cascade of discoveries.  To win the level you must first cross the street. To cross the street requires that you move the frog. To move the frog requires that you understand joystick timing. Each of these sub levels have their own feedback considerations: Street: the cars movementFrog: How it moves, how far it jumps each timeJoystick: Direction and speed of movement (it’s quite slow actually) Games understand that each of these levels has their own set of feedback, motivation and learning that must take place. This level of deconstruction, in a 30 year old game no less, blew my mind. Games were complex! They really paid attention to detail. There was a lot here to understand. Compare this to app designs. For very good reasons, we try very hard to fall back on guidelines. We work very hard NOT to reinvent the wheel. While this makes sense, we can’t just fall back on guidelines forever now can we? Maybe this is a bit obvious, but we’re not going to be using today’s phone UI designs 30 years from now. How do we evolve and create new UX patterns? What’s inspiring about games is that they are trying to evolve all… the… time. While clearly this would be a chaotic with commercial software, I still find it inspiring that games are built on this core belief that they rigorously unpack each action. Everything you do is multi-layered and must be unpacked, improved, and most importantly, taught to the user. While we may not want to emulate the speed of how games change UX patterns, we can certainly learn from their deep commitment and dedication to detail. APPS Follow your guidelines, be consistent, don’t rock the boat. GAMES Rigorously unpack everything, don’t worry if you sink the boat. EXAMPLE The computer example here is desktop menus. “Selecting a menu item” is actually a fractal cascade of skills where you first start horizontally browsing the menu bar, with a click, you shift into a vertical mode but keep the same basic highlight approach. For hierarchical menus, you need to understand the graphic hint that there is something deeper and then navigate over to reveal and then select that menu. Anyone who has taught beginning computer users the menu system knows how hard it is to master hierarchical menus. It’s takes practice to find, reveal and track over to that menu. There is a fractal cascade of skills required. Lens 3: Learning Loop The Learning Loop is a basic concept in psychology for acquiring any skill. You start with an intent such as “shoot the laser”, you take an action, such as pushing a button, and you see the result, the canon powering up and shooting a beam of energy. This loop is fundamental to learning as you have a model of how things work, then interact with the affordance in front of you and the resulting feedback then loops back and updates your mental model. Far from being a dry academic model, this is the foundation of how learning happens in games. Raph has a great quote in his book for this: “Fun is just another word for learning”. In order to have fun, you must learn. I find this inspiring as app design wants your users to learn but we’ve rarely appreciated this could be fun. Games understand that in order to learn you must start thinking in layers. Begin with a basic skill and slowly add more, getting better one layer at a time. But the key insight is that these layers are built one on top of the other. The classic example is Super Mario brothers.  You start off locked behind a pipe, in a safe zone much like Frogger. Here you move and jump, getting nowhere until you figure out how to jump on top of the pipe. You’ve just learned the first basic ‘Loop”: jumping. As you move to the right, a low ceiling appears and it’s very easy to jump into the ceiling, which hits one of those “?” bricks and a prize drops. You’ve learned your second variation of the loop: Hitting. Finally, when you encounter your first monster, it’s not a far stretch to assume you can jump onto them, and “Tada!” you just zapped your first monster. Loop 3 is attacking. There are clearly 3 distinct versions of jumping going on here: Initial jump. Simple button pressLong jump. Long button pressLanding jump. Timed jumpWhat’s so interesting here is that there is only one ‘thing’ you’re learning: jumping. But by stressing subtle aspects of how to jump, the game builds up variations of it. A basic jump gets you over things, a long jump can “open” and landing a jump can “attack”. A boring app designer like me would assume you’d need 3 different verbs/buttons for this but Super Mario does this with a single “Jump” action. Each jump has their own triggers but to the user “it’s just jumping”. Crafting a careful learning loop enables people to learn a range of tasks under a single concept. Nintendo is the master of this, doing it not only for Super Mario Bros but for all of it’s games from Super Mario Odyssey, to Splatoon, to even Luigi’s Mansion (which I doubt any of you have played). Shigeru Miyamoto, the esteemed director of Nintendo games has this amazing quote: “That’s how we make games at Nintendo: we get the fundamentals solid first, then do as much with that core concept as our time and ambition will allow. As for the courses and enemies, those actually came at the very end. They were done in a single burst of energy, just thrown together, almost.” Shigeru Miyamoto(Nintendo Games Director) This blew my mind when I first read it. What do you mean both the game levels and course were just ‘thrown together’! That’s insane. But it shows how much Nintendo focuses on the core building blocks. It’s what makes games work. I think there is a huge lesson for us here. APPS Each feature is in isolation, how it is done usually has little relation to other features (other that using a style guide). GAMES Build a game through a single, mechanic that grows in expressive power by adding modifiers like time, special keys, or timing. EXAMPLE 1: In a somewhat ironic twist, when the Mac first shipped in 1984, it used games to teach users how to get started!  The goal was to start simply and teach the first loop: moving the mouse. It then progressed to clicking, menus, dragging, and even shift clicking. What struck me was how deep and varied the loops are for desktop. This rich input model allows for much more sophisticated positioning of the cursor, better text selection, and input control. While we all agree that the Desktop UI can be overly complicated for some users, it’s important to appreciate how rich and detailed it’s loops were. In our discussions, Raph specifically called this out, saying that mobile has a lot to learn from desktop. EXAMPLE 2: But mobile does have a few tricks. People often think of “tap” and “pinch” as separate gestures but they really are just variations on the same loop. Here is an example showing both in Google Maps: Notice how when the user pinch zooms in, they can still drag the map around like they do with single tap dragging? Pinch is just a high order loop on top of drag.  Lens 4: Affordances Affordances has a classic definition in UX, popularized by Don Norman in his book the Design of Everyday Things. Games have a subtle spin on this: affordances prompt the things you already know. Let me use a few examples from “Breath of the Wild”, one of my very favorite games. Like many exploration games, you’ll get a clear and obvious prompt when you stand next to something: This “Take” prompt will occur thousands of times throughout the game. You clearly learn how to pick up an item fairly quickly but this prompt also gives you a clear indicator when you can pick it up as well. There is a more subtle version of this when fighting. In this case, the robot will always swing wide before it attacks from the side, signaling when to dodge. This is something that you need to learn in order to get good at fighting robots. But once you learn it, it’s a very regular pattern you can count on. But my favorite example was one of the core innovations in Breath of the Wild: the stamina wheel. It is a simple circular gauge indicator of how much ‘stamina’ you have. When you start climbing, the gauge starts to empty. If you don’t get to the top before the wheel runs out, you fall. What’s amazing here is how the wheel was implemented. At a simple level it’s “just a gauge” but it’s far more sneaky than that. If you climb, you’ll notice a range of feedback on this affordance: The character leans in when climbingWhen stopped they lean out and the wheel stopsDuring a steep section, beads of sweat appear and the stamina drains faster. In addition, they lean in and appear to be ‘trying harder’This basic example of ‘just climbing’ shows how subtle game affordances can be and how clever they are at using varying types of feedback. At a basic level, they really aren’t that complex, showing a simple resource: stamina. However, it’s by having the next level of detail, showing, in effect, the second derivative of stamina usage, the game is teaching you to take the less steep route. That extra bit of feedback, the leaning in and the sweat, helps you understand that you’re using up stamina faster. I had played this game for over 100 hours, and had clearly learned to take the less steep sections when climbing but here’s the key point: I had no idea I was doing it! The game taught me without me knowing I was learning. This is serious Jedi mind trickery.  This level of detail is what makes games so intriguing. Raph talks about the many types of affordances in his book, but I’d just like to focus on five types of affordance feedback that apply to app UX: Multi-variantRealityMultiples MixedGrace-notesMulti-variant Games work hard to give you lots of feedback hidden in the action. From the sand particles flying out when Mario runs, to the cloud trail he leaves behind, to when his arms fly out at certain speeds, Super Mario Odyssey works hard to give you all sorts of variables in subtle ways. This was exactly what happened with the stamina wheel above. By encoding things cleverly, the user can pick up on multiple aspects of the game. Reality Games work hard to map the right actions to the correct aspect of the controller, which has a rich selection of triggers, analog and digital joysticks, to simple buttons. Like Desktop, games consoles have a rich set of input loops to use. Mobile in contrast just has tap, drag and pinch. Mobile is impoverished compared to games and even desktop: we are a prisoner of our flat slab of glass. And don’t get me started on long-press, it’s very existence is proof that mobile has an expression problem (making me feel like old-man Simpson). Multiples  Games work really hard at using visual, audio and haptic feedback in games. Why don’t we? The obvious answer is that users often don’t like it but we have to ask ourselves, how can games get away with it and we can’t? Yes, games have it a BIT easier as the volume is turned up but it’s worth asking, what is it about games and how they do it that it feels obvious and fun whereas we do it and everyone hates it. It’s arguable that we’re being a bit too heavy handed. We need to be a bit more subtle and nuanced. Mixed Styles Games work very hard to mix graphic styles. The good guys in Mario are soft and rounded while the bad guys are sharp and pointy. In the game Horizon Zero Dawn there are two very different graphic styles: The more ‘cave painting’ style represented the main character, which came from a primitive tribe, and the sharper more technological style was for the items in the environment she could ‘see’ with her heads up display. It works well to give you a “me vs the world’ feel to things on the screen. How could we use this? Here is simple web page example: Use “Mixed Styles” to better separate navigation from contentThe title bar is clearly visually distinct from the body but stops there. There should ALSO be a visual difference from the left nav and the actual body content. The left nav should be a lighter blue so it ties into the title bar. It would give a clear visual style about the title being most important, the nav next, and finally the content. Grace-notes This is the last and most playful example. Games create small light moments to add ambiance to a game but also to drive learning. In Breath of the wild, grasshoppers fly out of the grass when you run through it. This is just atmospheric but later when you learn to ‘cut the grass’ you can actually find those grasshoppers before they fly. In Half Life, you can flush the toilets. It doesn’t do a damn thing, there is zero value to do it but it does make the world feel more interactive. That way when you walk up to a closed door, you’re more likely to try opening it, I mean the toilets flush, why not try? This is clearly a very subtle but powerful tool that games use to not only give you a better ‘sense of place’ but offers you ‘baby interactions’ that prepare you for other parts of the game. I’d love to find some examples of Apps doing this but I honestly can’t find any. If anyone does think of one, please let me know! APPS Prompt as little as possible. GAMES Prompt all the damn time (they’re just really subtle and sneaky about it). Lens 5: Hintiness Hintiness is something completely unique to games. Unlike affordances, which reinforce the current Learning Loop you’re on, the whole point of hintiness is to move you to new loops. Not moving to new loops is a critical problem for games and they have a specific term for it, “Bottom Feeding”. This screenshot is from World of Warcraft. If you’re a level 3 character and really good at killing spiders that’s great, but when you try to kill something bigger like a crocodile and get killed immediately, most players have a predictable response: go back to killing spiders. This is “bottom feeding”, just taking the easy route and remain at the same level over and never progressing. It’s comfortable, but it’s also boring. It also kills games. Game designers really want you to learn and get better so you stay engaged. There are all sorts of ways to do this. In Super Mario Odyssey there is a type of navigational hintiness called “Moon Chains”. You’re encouraged to collect these Moon objects in the game but every time you collect one, you can ALWAYS see another one. It hints at where you need to go.  In Breath of the Wild, the walls are usually smooth stone so when you see one with a broken pattern, it’s a clear sign that something interesting is behind that wall. But for App UX, hints are exactly the opposite, usually dialog box prompts in your face that stop you dead in your tracks! Games on the other hand, are subtle and usually seen over and over before you finally get it. They are the exact opposite of Microsoft Clippy. That’s part of the discovery and delight.  The video game approach is just so different from Apps. So many of our users “Bottom Feed” getting stuck in a current simple level of using our apps. If you’ve ever done user testing on your app, you often find that some users will write critical steps down on post-it notes as they keep getting lost. This is a UX tragedy as they don’t understand the Learning Loops well enough so they write down the exact steps every time they need to do something. How can we use hintiness to keep our users from Bottom Feeding? APPS Assume users are at a constant skill level. GAMES Use hints constantly and patiently to move users to the next level. EXAMPLE As there aren’t any good examples in App UX, let me make one up: creating a guide in a drawing app. I’ll use Photoshop, but Sketch or Figma could just as easily use this. There is a “Beginner level” way to create a guide just by using a menu and dialog box: It’s simple and it works. But most power users know to just drag it out from the bar. How could we use hintiness to help users discover it? One way would be to add a quick, lightweight animation. When the user try the dialog box to add the guide, instead of simply appearing, add an animation ‘sparkle’ in the ruler area and then animate out the guide to the position they asked for. Fast, quick and subtle. The user might not even notice it but after they see it a few times, they might just wonder what was going on and try it themselves. That is what games try to do, get you pulled in and copy what they are showing you. Lens 6: Pacing Pacing is critical to the overall story in games but a specific aspect of pacing for games that applies to App UX is “where to start?”. Remember the “Narrative vs Story” section? It was about games creating a tight coupling between experiences in the game to help users create their own narrative: Games know that a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. It’s critical that users know how to get going, get into the flow well before they understand everything. The classic example here would be World of Warcraft, a very complex game that ultimately has dozens of commands for you to learn. But you start with just 1 attack spell. There isn’t much to learn and it starts off pretty easy. As you level up, things are gradually added so you grow into the interface. What do most Apps do? They show you EVERYTHING at the very beginning hoping you’ll get it all in this one shot. Of course, we all know what happens: skip, skip, skip…. A colleague of mine at Google, Luke Wroblewski, discussed this at Conversions@Google 2018 where he talked about a finance app that instead of a “help overlay” they offered one single clue: how to create an expense item. Of course, the app could do much more but once the user knew how that, they were on their way.   Of course, the difficult part is for you to figure out what your “first thing to do” is. This is why games are so interesting, they spend so much time figuring out what we think of as a small, trivial point. APPS Tend to offer users a large toolbox and let them figure out how to get started. GAMES Have a clear understanding of the journey and say “Start here first”. Bringing it all home The six lenses we’ve talked about: Each provides a window into how games think and design. But it’s not just a simple linear list. The first three lenses are about breaking down your game (or App) into much more concrete chunks: Story vs Narrative (Think in terms of story arcs)Games are fractal (Break up the journey from big to small to tiny)Learning loop (figure out your core mechanic)And then the following three lenses build things back up: Affordances (Prompt for known loops)Hintiness (Move to new loops)Pacing (Be sure to start here)It’s really shaped more like this: These games lenses have been eye opening to me. I feel some of those 80 IQ points Alan Kay promised as I’m thinking about UX design in fundamentally different ways. In this post, I’ve given examples throughout on how this can provide valuable insights in ordinary, every day apps. It’s certainly helped me. Much of my work at Google uses these lenses to break things down fractally, look for loops, and figure out ways to hint at new loops. I’m not building games, but I’m being inspired by them. I hope they inspire you as well.

[goatfederation]

In the dream, we keep leaving but we never get anywhere. In the dream, Melissa and I load up the car and we pull out of the driveway. There’s a cutscene and we’re in the Port of Tacoma in the near dawn and she asks me to get out. There’s another cutscene and I’m running alone through the port, barefoot now. I’m sprinting for the water’s edge. Airborne, windmilling towards that polluted water, stained a baby blue by the morning sky. I ploosh into it and I’m deep down beneath it and Melissa is calling to me from the surface and when I dig my way back to it, I’m in the living room and Melissa is telling me I need to load the car. That we need to go. In the dream, we do it all over again.

Dreams like that change the way you see the world when you really do come to the surface. Sitting in the car on the freeway bound for the airport, waiting for the cutscene that will leave you barefoot running for open water. There is no cutscene. Just you and your wife and the road and a plane and new cities and new beds. Just travel and all the ways it wears you down and polishes you up.

We’re going to Cartagena, Colombia. One of those trips that fights its way to fruition at the end of a Northwestern winter. The clouds like a Tupperware lid, sealing in the darkness, the moisture. Sealing out the sun. Just a rippled sheet of foamy grey and the maddening drizzle going tick-tick-tick in the gutter. Three months of it and you think, sunshine. I. Need. Sunshine. But then, once all the planning is done and the arrangements have been made, it’s almost spring. The flowers are blooming and the temperature is crawling towards tolerable and Colombia feels like a long way away. Trip Advisor posts about robberies. Just the word Colombia on your lips gets stranger’s eyebrows jumping. But the tickets are already bought. Confirmation emails received. It might be a hectic trip and could be a dangerous trip, but it would definitely NOT be a refundable trip, so we were definitely going.

We slog our way through cruise season security at the airport, punch a bunch of caffeine and airport food into our faces and Alaska airlines flings us across the country.

There is food that night, found hastily, walked to confusedly and shoveled exhaustedly. There is a brief trip along the river in the perfect night air with the boat lights shimmering on the placid water and the smell of seawater on the merciful breeze. And yet, even when it’s pleasant, even with a mouthful of salty pork, or beer bubbles tickling my nose, even in twinkling lights with a sea breeze at my back, there is that feeling of disconnection. That vague sense of unrealness. Of running barefoot on a loop. That night we drift off to a fitful sleep in the semi-darkness. Late into the night, the sounds of Saturday night mayhem and youth in all its indecipherable wildness.

The next morning finds me wandering the streets in search of coffee. It’s too early again, and again I didn’t sleep well. I live a life of cutscenes. Up and down the street, trying doors, shuffling down the way. Starbucks in my hand. Starbucks in my mouth. We call an Uber to get us to the airport for the second leg of our flight. A man named Jeff whips a red Lexus around the corner and for all the moments between him opening his mouth to greet us and him screaming out his window at us at the airport he is an East Coast Angel with solid cheese halo.

He asks us all about our evening, points out some of the local attractions as they slip past the windows, New Jersey thick in his voice. My boilerplate question about best places to eat in his city elicits an extremely non-boilerplate answer.

“My buddy Brent owns the best Italian place in the city,” he says. He’s reaching for something in the center console. “Mention my name at the register and receive an appetizer valued at $18.99 free of charge.”

And I start to laugh, as he hands me a business card for the Italian place with his name in Sharpie on the back.

He sounds like Joe Pesci when he says it and even though he’s hustling at me, shamelessly, it’s not off-putting. We talk about Colombia with him. Tell him it’s not as dangerous as it used to be. That there’s peace there now. He nods his head, but he’s not assuaged. Tells me to keep an eye on my valuables.

Say, “I’m going to keep my phone in my front pocket. I figure if someone manages to sneak something out of my front pocket without me noticing, then they earned it.”

He likes that. At the airport, we thank him and tip him. We’re walking to the security line and his voice goes booming through the terminal, Joe Peschi on a bullhorn. “YOUR PHONES IN YOUR BACK POCKET!” He’s screaming through his passenger window. “ WATCH OUT!”

Another airport, more caffeine and calories on the end of a tamp. We board a small, old plane with creaky seats and scuffed overhead bins. There are TV’s on the backs of the seats that might as well have glass tubes in them. They flicker in and out in turbulence. I am squished into yet another center seat beside yet another gargantuan man. Like many of the discomforts of adult life, it’s no one’s fault and there’s nothing to be done about it. After a brief and sobering delay involving a stewardess with a family emergency that was most likely far more pressing than middle seats or spotty television, the pilot guides us to the runway and flings us across an ocean to Colombia.

We skate over a sheet of clouds that mostly cover Cuba and Jamaica, start to spiral down to Cartagena, through the fluff to the country below. Holding onto our armrests listening to the old plane groan and rattle, the giant to which I am stuck turns to us and says, “First time in Colombia?” He says it in Spanish and Melissa gathers it up carefully and tells him it is.

“Its very nice,” he says. “Be smart. Take off your watch. Don’t walk around on your phone. Don’t keep your wallet on you. Keep bills loose in your pocket.” He mimes pulling a wallet stuffed with cash out of his pocket,  pretends to sort through imaginary money, wags his finger at us.

“Don’t do that.” He says. He takes a pull from the plastic glass of whiskey that he filled from a bottle that he took out of a duty-free bag, says, “Don’t buy anything. It’s all fake.”

We nod like disciples and the plane makes a sound like OOF coming down on the ground in a whole new world. “Have a good time,” he says.

Stepping off the plane is like stepping into soup. There are clouds overhead, but neither of us is upset about it because they protect us from this foreign sun that made the earth so hot. The sounds of car horns and alien birds.  The vague pangs of apprehension.

I am awake.

Customs gives us a cursory jostling and then releases us into the world. At the curb in front of the airport we hail a cab, agree to pay him 3 or 4 dollars for the 15 minute ride to the airport and then he lurches off the curb with us, tearing through the streets of Cartagena. The traffic is a tornado that has passed over a junkyard and we are in the grip of it. Our driver flicks at the gear shift, spins the wheel. He honks the horn for everything and for nothing. It is a greeting and a warning. Here, you hear horns that are so worn out they hardly make a noise anymore. A hoarse hooting beneath a battered hood. People step out into the streets on 8 lane roads, froggering past busses, between bumpers. On two separate occasions, I see people texting while driving a motorcycle helmetless. Our driver drifts between lanes, honking all the while. He veers around a man pushing a cart full of mangos in the street, forces a motorcycle between two busses. The cycle honks. The busses honk. The mango cat pusher whistles like a train horn, drowns them all out. We slip past squat houses with wrought iron gates. We hurtle by concrete tenement buildings with laundry drying on the balconies. Massive palms, dogs and cats all in a blur beyond those smudged cab windows. We pull up at the hotel, sweating from the heat and from the ride. He takes our money and lurches off into the fray, again.

The concierge at the hotel buzzes us through a  gate into the lobby and we drop all of our needy luggage in the sparkling oasis of air conditioning and silence that is our room. The sheets are white and the tiles on the floor are sandy blocks with seashells pressed into them. There’s a TV on the wall and a pool on the roof and we’ve had a long day.

“So,” Melissa says, “what do you want to do?”

Outside, there is a man screaming sweet nothings about the mangos on his cart. A flock of alien birds rip past the window.

“Let’s go out there.”

May 13th, 2018. You fire “Restaurants” into the search bar of Yelp, “Cartegena, Colombia” into the location and the mighty Goliath of half-assed evaluations from underqualified users heaves a sigh and falls silent. No suggestions, No reviews. Google offers some help and TripAdvisor has some advice, but ‘comprehensive’ is not a word that I would use to describe them. Footpaths in a vast forest. Aerial imagery over deep woods. We do our best. The hotel burps us through its gates and we point ourselves in what we hope is the right direction and walk.

Wide-eyed through bustling streets with narrow sidewalks choked with people. Houses like a pastel crayon box with flags spread out between them. A man wants to sell us a hat. A lone dog barking at an iguana, who doesn’t seem very concerned about it. Out of our neighborhood beyond a park and a tangled mass of traffic We find the entrance to the walled city. It was built in the 1500’s by the Spanish to keep pirates out. 20 feet thick in some places, bristling with old cannons that point out to the ocean. Within those walls, streets like spaghetti on a plate, designed by military engineers to disorient any invaders who actually managed to make it ashore. Your sightlines are limited to the end of whatever block you’re on. Streets meander north and then wander their way back around to the east.

There are no spaces between the buildings, no vantage point to get your bearings. Fortunately for us, pirates have become far less of a bother, and so the security is a bit more relaxed. The government ordered that all the buildings be painted a variety of colors (which helps with the feeling of claustrophobia) and now there are landmarks abound. We zig and zag our way past businesses and restaurants full of colorful goods and memorable features. 10-foot tall doors with lion’s head knockers and courtyards bursting with tropical fauna. A bar named KGB with a Russian flight suit in the window and a massive pastel cathedral. All little pins on a winding map and by the end of the day, I can look at a spot on an aerial photo of the city and navigate us there without consulting it again. We arrive at a place on the north end of the walled city called Quero Arepo, grab up seats by the door.

The waitress brings us laminated menus and Melissa orders eloquently in Spanish that she has worked for years to perfect. The waitress nods at her, turns to me and I sputter,

“I… Need… This…. One…” in a collection of broken syllables like a man who should have a bandage around his head. An amused smile splashes across her face and then a burst of language from which I pluck the word for “drink”.

“I…Need… This … One.” I point at a beer on the menu and if she wanted to, she could insist I was already drunk and ask me to leave and anyone who heard our little back and forth would have a really hard time persuading her that I wasn’t. Instead, she takes our menus and heads into the back.

“Quesiera.” my wife says through the palm over her face.

“Huh?”

“‘Quesiera’ is a more polite way of asking for things in Spanish.” She says.

Dually Noted. The waitress brings the beer that I ‘needed’ and I gulp at it because it is cold and nothing else is. A breeze oozes in through the door. A horsedrawn carriage clomps up the street with a  man giving a tour from behind the reigns of it. A few minutes later, our food comes out. It’s spectacular. Fried dough wrapped around a mound of chicken, beef, cheese, and avocado.

  I moosh it into my face with the same grace I used to order it. The salt and the fat and the tang of it. The crunch and the chew and the soft of it. I am present for every bite. For every step along the streets. For every word past my lips. For the wind on my skin at the top of that ancient wall. For the sunset over the Caribbean. I am awake. No cutscenes. No loops. Just a notebook in my back pocket and a whole new city to fill it with.

The Travelogue Part One: Waking up in Cartegena In the dream, we keep leaving but we never get anywhere. In the dream, Melissa and I load up the car and we pull out of the driveway.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 2]

Here we are in Part 2, where I have maybe learned a thing about how to keep these from being dreadfully boring. Part 1 saw us defeat the first Gym, as well as my dawning sadness about the HM state of my available pokemon.

Now we move into the Badge 2 phase of the game.

Breathing Pokemon:

Boeing (Latios)

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Timon (Tepig)

I think I will be ignoring the Cut problem until I absolutely can’t, which will be in about five minutes.

I don’t know why I didn’t walk left earlier, but I didn’t. Is there grass here? Can I catch something? My team is basically just Timon and Frogger. I love Boeing, but he is not made for this rough life. He likes relaxing and eating. Not fighting.

And the answer is that the Professor’s scientist friend has supplied a plot barrier. Sigh.

Welp.

....

I can’t even pretend to be surprised. Dang it, Boeing.

I don’t want to use anything outside the confines of the challenge if I can help it. The idea is not, “win all the fights” under these conditions, it’s beating the game.

Congratulations, Boeing.

You’re temporarily useful.

Grass! Beautiful grass!

Also Team Plasma.

Cut is so much more useful than Psywave and I am very sad.

Team Plasma dealt with, obligatory plot detail I wasn’t paying attention to dealt with, we are now free to pursue the grass.

Or will the grass pursue us.

I can’t remember how Tangela evolves normally, or how it evolves given the settings of the run, but I do think that Tangela probably could have learned Cut just fine, and I can’t remember if the Move Deleter costs anything, or even where it is in this version.

But that’s only a concern if I catch a thing that can learn Cut. Let’s do this, Boeing.

Sleep Powder is hypothetically useful. I don’t think it has ever hit when I try to use it.

Two Poke Balls and nothing. I think I am going to sacrifice the Great Ball some random NPC gave me.

Victory!

Good job, Boeing. See, isn’t life more fun when you’re useful?

You know, I don’t normally nickname my pokemon. They just keep the same name every edition of them in the wild has, and that’s perfectly fine with me.

Your name shall be... Grape.

Because look at all those vines writhing... writhe... wrath? Grapes!

Such thought. Much wow.

I think it’s time for healing and grinding.

Oh, but first, Grape! Let us find something out about you.

He is Brave and quick to flee. His Speed suggests that he isn’t that great at fleeing.

Other pokemon we could have gotten from the HM grass spot of doom include Sudowoodo and Beedrill. Tangela looks to be rarest of the set, so I suppose we can add lucky to Grape’s list of traits. There’s a Potion and a Parlyz Heal lying about that I go grab, and until the plot brings us back later (probably sometime after we get Strength), this area is just going to be a grind station.

Until I get bored after about three minutes and want to go back to exploring. I’m not sure I’m made for a Nuzlocke.

...Why is Constrict a move? It’s about as useful as Splash, only with the false hope of being capable of dealing damage.

Yeah, I don’t have the patience for this. I’m going to go left again and see what there is now that the plot isn’t keeping me trapped. ...Only after I talk to Fennel again. Apparently just letting her collect the whatever thing is not enough, I have to listen to her discoveries.

I do not. Button mashing away, we now have our C-Gear and Pal Pad. I think the first of those will end up having uses. I mostly remember all these different event skins being available for the gear.

Now I should be able to go.

Ha. I have conquered the plot barrier.

Since this is a separate section from the garden area, I think once I have some kind of rod or Surf I can come back and nab something from the water. ...I wonder if grass vs water even matters in a randomized run. Are they all completely random, or random within water? I should know these things.

My guess would be completely random. I cite the level 4 Salamence on Route 2. But either way, something to come back to.

Aw, how cute. I’m gonna demolish you (I hope).

It looks like battling is going to happen before finding out what pokemon belong to this route. In the interest of learning how to do this better bit by bit, I think I’ll limit capping battles unless something truly ridiculous happens. This early in the game there shouldn’t be much tension.

I will probably keep track of how many times Psywave misses if I use it, though. That obviously falls into the realm of Importance.

I will also say that Lillipups continue to be terrifying. And that I am so temporarily glad that Boeing knows Cut. Consistent damage. That hits.

I can’t believe this game encourages taking preschoolers’ pocket money. I know I’m only ten, but wow.

Ah, but the nice thing about beating up preschoolers (’ pokemon) is that they have a teacher around very used to healing pokemon up. Walking back to centers to heal is one of the not so fun aspects of

Whoops.

So it’s a good thing I only did grinding, because I clicked the load file option instead of the save file when I was trying to save. Good grief. I am become error. Will return momentarily. With one fresh water short, because I was stupid and a Beedrill almost murdered Timon. Also Timon now knows Flame Charge.

Okay.

Back to making forward progress, hopefully.

Let me go in the grass, Cheren. You’re supposed to be one of my two best friends. The fact that I had to be reminded by a professor whose name I also couldn’t be counted on to remember myself does not take away from our friendly bonds.

There really are a lot of non-NPC duels at the start of this version.

Okay, let’s go squad.

Boeing and Timon do a good job taking down his Meganium. I think I’ll let Frogger take the Purrloin. As the one on the team who did not need grinding, he hasn’t been used in a bit.

And that’s that. Cheren is sad/frustrated because we have the same number of badges, his starter is fully evolved and useful, and yet he still can’t win. Of course he can’t; the run would be over if he did.

But before we can celebrate and get into the grass, the plot arrives.

Team Plasma please. At least I have the option of going into the grass before getting the little girl’s pokemon back. Which I will take.

Let’s see what we get!

...Another thing that doesn’t need my help to evolve. Sigh.

As ever, that only gets a chance to annoy me if I catch it, so time to see how that train goes. I’m going to try throwing my only Great Ball. Psywave got it into the red, so...

!

Awesome! Based on videos I have seen recently most people aren’t that lucky when it comes to catching these things. Now I can sulk about having a fully evolved team (except for the treasured Timon) in peace.

What the heck do I name you, though? You’re a dinobird... Oh, I know. I’ll call you Ptera. Welcome to the team, Ptera. Let’s check you out.

He has a Mild nature, and he’s proud of his power. I feel like that Defense is going to end up making me cry, and I don’t think you’re a Special Attacker, so the Nature is pretty much all flavor. It’s nice to have something that can Fly; hopefully he’ll be around to use it.

...Oh geez, that Ability. Ptera Ptera Ptera... You are going to make me so sad.

The good news is he can kill his wild kin in one hit. So that’s convenient.

I’m sorry, what.

This is the exp grass now. Other finds include Octillery. Grape eats them for breakfast.

...

Oh.

It knows Aurora Beam.

It got a critical hit.

Grape was only a few points off of full health.

There was no way to know.

This is really sad.

I am so sorry Grape. You were a valued member of the team. You were only with us a short while, but you knew Grass moves. You balanced everything out wonderfully.

The exp grass is a dangerous place.

Maybe if I had just gone after the little girl’s pokemon...

It’s too late.

Grape is a raisin.

In the process of going after Team Plasma, it looks like Chimecho might be replacing Audino in the rustling grass. Maybe once, maybe always. Who can say. That would take paying more attention when messing with the settings.

A place to find Grape’s replacement. It would have been where we’d finally have a team of six, but...

Oh hey we found something already.

Okay, I can roll with that.

......Surprise, Ptera is stronger than expected. I knew enough to use Wing Attack, not Rock Throw, but I guess Ptera is just that good. Filed away for future reference. No new pokemon. A fitting tribute to Grape’s absence. The slot may remain empty for a little longer.

We get some Heal Balls from the little girl, and those could actually really come in handy. Assuming I ever properly catch a new teammate again.

One battle against an NPC later, and I think it’s safe to say Ptera is the new Frogger. He is overpowered for this section of the game.

You know what wouldn’t be overpowered? A Slugma.

I forgot about the darker grass. Route 3′s has Minccino, Teddiursa, Quilava, and Emolga.

Boeing could you please just learn something good. Please.

Whenever I see an Octillery now I’m just going to be filled with so much hate. I will kill every one that comes across my path. Unless I screw up and it kills me again, which is an absolute possibility.

We’ve made it to the next Gym city. Normal type. That shouldn’t cause any particular problem, but I do remember this fight packing more of a punch than I was expecting the first time I played, so cue the grinding montage I’m not going to screencap.

As well as the exploring the town montage I’m not going to screencap.

One of the NPCs asked me what I started with, so like a fool, I said Snivy, since that’s what Boeing replaced.

Now I have a Miracle Seed. And nothing that knows Grass moves.

Grape casts a long shadow already.

New area means new pokemon. Ones I have no plans to murder, but might very well anyway.

!!!!!

It’s. Grape’s replacement.

I love Shroomish and Breloom. One of the best pokemon in any gen, and I would dearly love one to follow me on this journey.

Yesssssss.

Let’s see. How about Palm, because your design reminds me of a pomegranate.

Palm has a Calm nature, and is somewhat of a clown. I’m pretty sure that is not the combination I want, since Breloom is more of a physical attacker, but hopefully it won’t matter too much. Poison Heal is a useful Ability to have.

Other things we could have caught in Pinwheel Forest: Vileplume, Froslass, Klink, Clamperl, Bellossom, Glaceon, Ducklett, and Metagross.

Wow. That’s a nice collection.

Oh hey and this happened.

Timon is now a robust Pignite, and has a move that will be of great use in the Gym!

We’re just going through the forest and annihilating everyone, but I spared a moment to commemorate Palm’s moment.

Tympole confused him, and he still used Absorb twice in a row instead of hurting himself. Then he snapped out of confusion and won. Contrary Nature aside, I am liking our new addition very much.

Especially since the fight against the next Tympole followed the exact same script. Good job, Palm.

The rest of this is basically all grinding, which is fun for me since I don’t have to come up with something clever to say when nothing much is going on. That is one benefit of doing this in this format.

My usual rule of thumb for these games is ten levels per gym until that much grinding becomes unbearable. Everyone’s currently level 18 (Ptera’s 16 and trying to fix that almost resulted in a Glaceon murdering him), and I’m thinking I might have hit that point.

...Yeah, I definitely have. I’ll just hit the Gym and let Ptera nom some things. Boeing will probably have to sit this fight out, because as we all know, what Normal type really means is Lillipups that know Bite. Those are not things for Boeing to face.

It is amazing how many different patches of grass suddenly have pokemon when I’m trying to leave a place, good grief.

Hello, am I fighting you again already? Or are you just doing your mysterious thing?

No, yeah, we’re doing a battle. And he opens with a level 13 Pidove to my level 17 Ptera. I don’t think he’s going to win this one. N, of course. Ptera has it in the bag, because I think it’s fair to say I have overleveled myself.

Palm was continuing his great streak of not letting Tympoles make him hurt himself, but sadly he did hurt himself once in this fight. Still, not bad, and much better than I usually get saddled with.

Ptera fighting the Timburr might be an incredibly stupid idea. He can one-shot them, but if they get a Rock Throw crit, it will be bad. This has been learned from the Fighting trainers in the wild that I didn’t screencap.

Those guys were at level 16, though. N’s level 13 is nowhere near the same brand of problem, and Ptera cleans up.

Alright, that settled, can I enter the gym now?

I forgot about the museum in front. Lenora’s got good taste.

Another Fresh Water for me. This one I don’t plan on using up. I don’t think I’ll need to, based on N’s levels. I really overtrained for this whole badge, probably. But that’s okay. I don’t like worrying about my pokemon dying every fight. Steamrolling is fine too. The main fun with all of this is finding out what I’ll end up with and raising them.

Then the very first trainer has a level 17 Patrat.

I feel less silly in my decisions.

Followed by a level 17 Herdier.

This is where I would consider doing more grinding, except by the time I’ve decided to stop grinding, I am generally not going to start again for a while.

The trainer with more than one pokemon starts with a level 15 Lillipup, so the Gym Leader’s are probably around 17-20. That should be okay. I’m healing before I go forward anyway, and Ptera’s going to grow another level beforehand just by beating this last trainer.

I really like Lenora’s Gym. It’s educational and has a secret staircase. I don’t think you can ask for more (though if memory serves, some of these get pretty wild this version).

Heals, then fight. This should be fine.

I want this office.

Ready... FIGHT!

She’s opening with a level 18 Herdier with Intimidate. Sigh. I forgot that was an ability. That might make this a little more awkward than I want, but Ptera is still part Rock. If things are going to go wrong, they should go wrong slowly enough for me to switch.

Take Down with a Leer boost only does 12, so yeah, this should be okay.

She uses a Super Potion, it takes three of any of Ptera’s attacks to down it, but Ptera gets a crit, and it’s Watchdog time!

I remembered she had this one.

For the sake of safety, I’m going to let Timon and his super effective attack handle this one. I think the Watchdog likes to sleep things.

A level 20 Watchdog. Do not want. But I believe in you, Timon. Go for it.

Uh.

Huh.

Fuck?

That’s. Wow, okay.

Watchdog with Retaliate. Awesome.

I don’t trust Ptera’s Defense to withstand whatever comes next, so Frogger... please do not die. Please. I need you to be alive and useful, because I just lost one of the greatest helps to this run.

Of course it has Hypnosis.

It’s so red. So close.

Retaliate does 30 damage without the fainting teammate ahead of time, and now Frogger is asleep and in the red. He needs to get out of there now, but I think Pursuit could be one of Watchdog’s moves.

I have one Soda Pop. He’s asleep anyway, so I’m willing to try it.

Geez this is scary.

tfw Watchdog also has Crunch and now Frogger’s Defense is lowered.

He isn’t faster, I don’t think. Even if he wakes up...

Switched to Palm and now Palm’s asleep.

Switching back to Frogger.

Frogger takes two Crunches, needs a Fresh Water, the next Crunch is a critical hit, and Frogger is still asleep. I have two Super Potions, now one, and Frogger is still alive and still asleep.

What in the fuck.

I know the sleep counter gets reset if you pull it out, but come on.

He finally wakes up, and because Watchdog only needed one more hit, victory is achieved.

Not worth it.

Lenora I don’t like you anymore.

And before we can end this segment, Team Plasma attacks the museum. Yay, plot. Plot to distract from the pain. The horrible, sad, awful, pain.

I can’t even remember their excuse for stealing the skull. Was there one?

I don’t know and care even less.

So we are assigned to search for the thieves with Burgh, Castelia’s Gym Leader, while Cheren and Bianca stay at the museum. Bianca is playing Fennel’s gopher, so we now have Dowsing Machine (MCHN) we will never remember to use, but if you’ll excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to.

...Bye.

I know the screenshots don’t show it, but you did a great job. Nothing else would have survived the gym if you hadn’t made training in Pinwheel Forest so straightforward. You did good, Timon.

Next Gym gets grinding. No complaints.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 3]

It’s time for hunting for thieves with Burgh! Long may no one else die in the process!

Team headcount:

Boeing (Latios)

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Ptera (Archeops)

Palm (Shroomish)

I’ll also throw the Miracle Seed on Palm, since I forgot to do that last time.

Hm. This is technically part of the same route Palm came from, but it’s a different area. I think if the randomizer considers it part of a different area, I will too. So if it has something from the outside part, I won’t catch it. If it turns out they both happen to have some things in common, and the first one was one of those, oh well. It was the first one in the area.

Stepping forward to find out if we get a new one or not.

I don’t want it.

This might be a bad idea, but I think I’m going to let Palm just murder it. I do not want an Octillery, and then I’ll still only have one thing from Pinwheel Forest. It might be something I end up regretting, because as of right now, if my team wipes, I have nothing eligible to start over with, but.

Exp gotten, Grape avenged one more time.

So far there is nothing in this forest except for Octillery. What is this hell.

I do not like the Patrat line. I might never like it again. Appropriate that Team Plasma currently seems to do almost nothing else.

Okay, so for future reference, the insides of Pinwheel Forest are counted as a different area by the Randomizer. That future might not be so far off, depending on how this goes. The important thing is that something besides an Octillery can exist in these woods.

I have photo evidence.

Without it, even I wouldn’t believe at this point.

Awesome, recovered the skull. Considering the size, I am not sure how a boy my age manages to do anything with it but not be crushed by it, but thankfully the plot is uninterested in such complications. Skull get.

I have no memory of what that means. I assume it means that if I live long enough, I’m gonna beat you up.

Oh good, we give the skull to Lenora. She’s someone I have faith in to be able to lift it. She is very mighty, and when I don’t think about the consequences of our battle I still am highly appreciative of her.

I basically don’t do anything for the next twenty minutes but run around and let Ptera kill stuff. I am overusing Ptera because Ptera can one-shot everything into oblivion, and that’s a comfort.

But.

There is good news after I remember I have other pokemon.

Boeing

no longer has Psywave.

I’d never really bothered looking up the accuracy, I just was sad when the damn thing never hit. It turns out, in addition to having variable damage, Psywave has 80% accuracy.

I have never hated a move so much.

It’s gone now.

Boeing can murder things.

Together, friend. We will make it to the end of this.

Oh, the bridge! This is the one with the bridge! Bridges, even!

Best part of this generation for sure.

Now we’re in sections I think I remember a little more about. Mostly in relation to how often I ended up lost in this place. It’s not really that difficult, but for many, many years all of the towns and other locations were nice and neat 2D things. You might not know where to go next in some spots, but having trouble figuring out where you were wasn’t really a thing.

Along comes Castelia City, and it’s all “hold my drink,” and I, a mere ten-year-old, trip down back alleys trying to find out what in the heck I’m meant to be doing.

Now I, a mere ten-year-old, will probably do much the same. With an active interest in seeking out any grass.

The real question here is which evolution stone I want. I can’t use Panpour. So I guess... hm. I might as well go with the Fire option? I think I mussed with the evolution settings, so I’m not sure if I need them or not (I shouldn’t need to trade anything to get it to evolve, but past that, it’s one giant shrug). I also don’t have anything in my party that needs a stone yet, and there is no way to guess at what I might find in the future.

What I do know is I have a Grass and a Water pokemon, so let’s just round that out. That’s what the chimp options are there for, after all.

Fire Stone get.

I have zero memory of what’s up with the ship, but boats usually mean trainers to fight. Whatever the case, it is presently plot-locked.

We’re going through the city to try to gather all the Dancer trainers for a squad, which basically means beating up more of the Pan-squad, and a guy in the alley jumps out and gives us Flash.

Pokemon games are the best.

Dance squad assembled. Now that I think about it, I think this might be the version where rotating battles are introduced. I also think that might not be the right name, but the important bit is that three pokemon are participating at once and you can rotate through. I bring this up now because I’m wondering if talking to these guys again will set one off.

...Nope. I do get an Amulet Coin, though. Those are always good to have.

A building full of trainers I didn’t remember! That’s much better than running back to Pinwheel Forest or going ahead for grinding. Too bad this resource doesn’t renew itself.

Oh, nice. The guy to our right gave us Quick Balls and Timer Balls. Those are some of my favorites.

I’m not touching the Gym until everyone’s 30. I already regret that decision, but you know something else I regret? No longer having a Fire type. So yeah, this is the program and we’re sticking to it.

A Hyper Potion and Revive are also in this building. One of those has no use to us, so yay free money. Here’s hoping that we don’t use up the other one right away. I’m already imagining the horror that is the Elite Four.

Also, since I never play these games with the volume on (ancient suspicions about battery life from the era of AAs), can I just say how wonderfully spooky the Scientist theme is?

Heeeeeey. That is a good thing to have.

Time to check if I’m able to go forward, or if my grinding has to be stuck at Pinwheel Forest. As much as I like the bridge, let me tell you my preference.

Forward enough, anyway.

I think there will be some sort of roadblock ahead, but I should be able to come across my next teammate first. And some Fishermen.

Palm enjoyed meeting the Fishermen.

First encounter spotted.

Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever used one of these in a game before. The evolution is never worth bothering with unless you’re shooting for the pokedex entry, and I think by the time you run into its first form, you’ve already got most of your team arranged already.

The real question is if I have something that won’t kill it...

I think Cut might be the answer.

...I am the worst trainer ever, fml.

So. Uh.

The Escavalier is caught.

Apparently it knew something besides Fury Attack and Leer. Funny story, that.

Boeing is dead.

Ahahaha. Wow. I do not want you. You murdered my best friend. You are also now more necessary than you were. So. You need a name.

You’re a dark knight.

First girl on the team is named Batman.

Batman does not kill.

The real challenge of this game is going to be whether or not I can ever have six usable pokemon at a time. Dang. This is much rougher than anticipated. Boeing was one of those beasts I thought would be with me until the very end.

Of course, the same can be said for all that now lie here. I was definitely arrogant enough to assume that I could go through the game with none of you dying.

Serves me right, I suppose.

I really hope I don’t need to teach something else Cut now.

Goodbye, Boeing. We had four levels of being useful together. You taught me to hate Psywave, and your sacrifice brought Batman to the team. In time she will learn to honor that.

Batman is Adamant and loves to eat. That is about the best Nature I could ask for. She isn’t going to be very useful at the moment, but she has the Exp. Share now, so. We’re going to change that.

This run just got much harder. Again.

Apparently Bug is the theme of this desert.

That is one definite disadvantage to starting with a Psychic pokemon. Bug hurts. It doesn’t help that I almost constantly forgot what Boeing’s typing was.

Huh. Geodude also frequent this area.

It’s funny. Out of what’s available, so far I’ve been pretty darn happy with what I’ve ended up with. I mean, I would prefer Batman being a little weaker so I still had Boeing, but Escavalier is not awful. And I’ve never used one before. All praise the randomness.

You know what else is funny?

All the wild Escavalier here need multiple hits even with moves that are effective. All those turns I spent Cutting Batman down to size, allowing room for Boeing’s death, were unnecessary.

Haaaaa. Live and learn.

Unless you’re Boeing.

Frogger’s just going to murder everything in this route while the meager party slowly grows to level 30. Once more I feel my boredom setting in, but at this point I don’t think being less cautious is really a good idea. Getting six pokemon in my party has become something to strive for instead of the expectation.

-checks in an hour later-

Someone save me from this hell.

I think when the time comes, I’m going to take Ptera and Palm back to Pinwheel. The level differences aren’t that great, and ALL the Blaziken kills would probably do them both some good. Ptera can probably take the things in the desert, but his Defense is terrible if something goes wrong (which it easily might) and I’m not so sure about Palm. Either way Palm’s getting the Exp. Share for it, and that’s probably still twenty minutes away, because grinding.

I really wish I hadn’t accidentally killed Timon and Boeing.

You never realize what a useful tool letting pokemon faint is until you can’t. Sigh.

I am going to giggle like a small child every time that question pops up. My only good decisions in this run are their names.

Fun fact: Grinding is boring.

Batman and Frogger are all set, so I did make my way back to Pinwheel Forest in the hopes of helping Palm’s unfortunate Nature out with some better EVs and just generally having him and Ptera fight against things they could kill in one hit.

That’s working out.

This is taking forever.

I refuse to do this for the next gym. Isn’t failure the spice of any challenge?

I don’t even know what the next Gym is... Wait. Is it the electric model one? I think it might be. I remember liking her. I like her pokemon less. Flying electric squirrels are hardish to kill.

Ptera learned Acrobatics. So that’s neat.

Two. More. Levels. Come on. Bring on the massive surge of wild Blaziken.

Have I already pointed out that this is one of the generations where exp is calculated in part by level differential? The more I need the less I get.

At long last. It is done.

In your memory, Timon.

Dude, c’mon. It was going to be touching. I was going to murder all your Bugs and be like, “this is for all the things I accidentally got killed on my way here!” and now you’ve gone and ruined it with your plot interruptions. Sigh.

I’m supposed to go to one of the piers. If I’d been reading the text instead of mashing buttons I probably would know which one, but walking down each option and trying them all in order is fun, right? Right.

It’s always the last one you check.

I remember just enough of the story to say that was one heck of a mistake they done made.

Oh wait, Bianca’s pokemon? Oh. That’s much sadder.

Team Plasma grunt shows up, and it’s time to run after it. After all, I am ten. I am the most reliable aid anyone could ask for in a situation such as this.

I say, brilliant deduction, Burgh!

There is probably art of Burgh and Looker somewhere on the internet. They solve crimes.

Guess who has thirteen levels on Team Plasma like a boss. It is all four of my remaining pokemon. Yay.

They keep bringing up the Seven Sages, and I keep not remembering any of them except for one. My memory was that there was the one guy. And even that guy was pretty blurry. Now there are seven?

I just wanna catch stuff and pick fights hurry up plot.

The plot hears my requests and punishes me with an infodump about pokemon mythology of the region. Why this.

For my current purposes, I don’t care, but I actually like Black and White’s background for Unova. I like stories about heroes and dragons, and having the cover legendaries being relevant in things that aren’t just glamorized sidequests. It’s a fun game.

The monsters are just so much funner.

Let us try this again!

I love all the gyms in this generation.

Our first victim starts with a level 20 Sewaddle and a level 20 Venipede.

Ptera covers his claws in their blood.

...Okay, that one’s a little too dark. The opponents’ monsters aren’t actually dying, just fainting. My guys are the only ones who can die, adding new weight to Batman’s name. She will go into battle for justice, never inflicting lethal damage, yet she might one day fall.

Burgh’s pokemon are probably mid-20s. It’s fair to say I didn’t need to grind as much as I did, and it’s also fair to say I’d do it all over again because the last Gym was traumatic.

I wonder if part of how they decide Gym Leaders is asking them what they’ll do if they get their own building and carte blanche to design it. That should be the new Sorting question: What Type would your Gym be, and what are your thoughts on its interior design?

I think one of them this gen has you being shot through the air with cannons.

We look so serious.

Burgh does not.

First up is a level 21 Whirlipede. I feel fairly confident in saying that Ptera is up to the challenge.

Following that is a level 21 Dwebble. It does not have Sturdy.

Last is a level 23 Leavanny, and if you think these short sentences are a really uninspired way of describing such an epic fight, you’d be right, but they did not have much to work with. Ptera took everything that didn’t have an Ability preventing such acts down in one hit.

His prize.

He has the option of learning DragonBreath, and I normally wouldn’t bother with it, but considering how worried I am about whether or not I’ll manage to have six pokemon in a party at once, AncientPower with its 5 PP taking up a move slot is... maybe not what I want to go with.

On the other hand, Ptera’s a physical attacker and DragonBreath only does 60 with no STAB.

We are abandoning the way of the dragon, Ptera.

That was Boeing’s realm.

Badge get! Now, are we going to be able to leave the Gym without the plot calling?

No. The answer is no.

Look, it’s free exp! I mean one of my best friends!

With that invitation received, our time in Castelia comes to a close. This segment saw our most painful loss yet. Hopefully that has taught me a thing or two about being careful, but those lessons tend to be really temporary with me and video games.

Until next time.