#fight but I WAS WEARING THE CLIMBING GEAR IT WAS ALREADY AN ARMS OUT KINDA LOOK !!

[ashenberry]

honest to god looking at people talk about the ganondorf fight im surprised i did so well as someone who could not Flurry Rush or Perfect Parry for shit

[citrinesparkles]

cat part three.

jason todd x gender neutral, cat lover (or tolerater) reader. 1,066 words. notes: part one here, part two here! (edit: part four here) brief snippets of cat life. warnings: food is discussed, animal illness (but everything ends up fine, i promise)

it was nearly four in the morning when you finally heard the window slide open.

unfortunately, it was accompanied by the sound of him moving- which usually meant he was hurt, too hurt to move silently.

so you set your phone down, climbing out of bed and making your way into the dim living room just in time to see him close the window and- hear his jacket start yelling?

interesting.

"so," you started casually, not bothering to hide your amusement when he stiffened, "your jacket meows now?"

"oh, why aren't you asleep?" he all but whined- which, filtered through his helmet, was not only adorable but also hilarious- falling forwards to gently thump his head against the wall.

"my boyfriend ran late at the office," you teased. "you know how it is."

the jacket meowed again, and he just groaned.

"are you going to introduce me to your guest, or should i pretend i didn't notice?"

he took a deep, slow breath. "fine." he pushed back from the wall, turning to flick on the nearby lamp.

now, you could see the obnoxious bag covered in cartoon pineapples and flamingos slung over his shoulder and his signature leather jacket wiggling slightly in his arms.

he gently shifted the jacket, revealing a tiny, sleepy face.

one that immediately meowed again.

"this is cat," jason said, exhaustion lacing his voice. "a friend asked me to take care of it until it's well enough to go back out into the world."

"cat? really?"

"please don't start."

-

you took cat, setting its litter box up in the corner of the living room while jason took a shower.

cat was tiny and friendly, running its head into your ankles and purring whenever you acknowledged it.

the meowing, loud and persistent, began again as soon as you opened a can from the ugly beach bag.

cat was in desperate need of a bath and a careful brushing, you realized as it ate, but both could wait for the morning. for now, you did your best to make a bed out of spare blankets and get it to drink some water.

-

soon after, jason found you on the living room floor and all but fell into the space next to you.

cat immediately stood up from its makeshift bed and climbed up into his lap.

"i'm not keeping it," he said firmly, dropping his head to your shoulder.

you hummed quietly, watching as he scratched the cat's chin. "so what's the plan?"

"vet tomorrow-" he yawned- "find out what its deal is, get it healthy, figure out somewhere it can comfortably live out the rest of its days." he paused, and the sound of cat's purring filled the space between you. "sorry for springing this on you."

"a warning would have been nice, yeah, but it kinda looked like your hands were full."

"it just wouldn't. stop. meowing." he squished its cheek gently, making you laugh and cat look up at him with wide, innocent eyes. "yeah, you. you just don't know how to shut up, do you?"

it meowed.

-

he took cat to the vet that morning, and came back with it- her, you learned- in an actual carrier, along with a bottle of pills and a bag of pill pockets.

"antibiotics," he explained as he opened the carrier and released her into the living room. "she's got some kind of infection. vet said to give her one of these-" a shake of the bottle- "with dinner for two weeks and make sure she drinks lots of water."

two weeks.

yeah, no way he'll ever get attached in two weeks, you thought, watching her jump up onto the couch to glare at him and the carrier.

-

you came home the next day to an obviously recently-deserted living room.

jason's favorite blanket (which, 'coincidentally', cat had also taken a real shining to) was tossed haphazardly over the arm of the couch; a bowl of half-eaten popcorn rested on the coffee table; and a young mark hamill was on tv, frozen in an unflattering pause.

"c'mon, chewie," you heard jason grunt, dragging your attention to the other end of the apartment. "no- ugh, come here already!"

you followed his voice curiously to find him- or, more accurately, his legs- on the bedroom floor.

as soon as you stepped through the doorway, he froze and swore quietly.

"does that mean you named the cat?"

"no, she named herself," he grumbled from under the bed. "kept meowing every time chewbacca started talking- talking, roaring, whatever."

"oh, of course, my bad." you leaned against the doorframe with a smile, arms crossed over your chest. "so where is chewie, honey?"

"hyperspace, last i checked."

"right, right," you nodded, fighting back a laugh. "so what're you doing down there?"

"hopefully avoiding this conversation."

"jason. is the cat under the bed?"

"...maybe."

"and why is that an issue?"

he sighed. "she stole the remote, okay?"

this time, the laugh won.

-

you woke up to an empty bed, jason's quiet voice floating down the hall.

"that's right."

"mrow."

"uh huh."

"mrow."

"you're a genius, truly."

"mrow!" you heard chewie hit the ground, presumably jumping down off of the back of the couch again.

"tuna for lunch. of course. i've never heard a better idea."

you smiled, rolling over and going back to sleep.

-

this time, you came home to a quick note on the counter. it said that jason had run to the store but would be back to make dinner, and there was a small pizza slice doodled in the corner.

it made a little burst of warmth flood your chest, and you plucked the note up to put away for a rainy day.

on the way, you caught sight of his jacket on the couch.

that was interesting. when he wasn't wearing it, it was always hung up carefully, tucked away with the rest of his gear where it wouldn't be stumbled upon unless someone was really looking.

you quickly got an explanation as chewie, curled up into a content donut shape on the sleeve, peaked one smug eye open at you and purred.

interesting, indeed.

you were dating a giant sucker.

[hyunjilicious]

what is and what should never be [bucky barnes]

A/n: ok, so. Im really fucking insecure about this. I literally poured my heart into this fic. I'm genuinely unhappy with the beginning, but I promise you, it gets better!! I don't have it in me to rewrite it for the 4th time. I really hope you'll still like it though. If you ask me, this is the best fic idea I even had. Please, please, if you enjoyed it, let me know!!!

Summary: It was you and Bucky. An unlikely couple that shared equally disturbed pasts. When you get a day off, your paradise turns into hell as Bucky's nightmares return, leaving you alone to deal with The Winter Soldier. (FLUFF, SMUT, ANGST) 12k

Warnings: 2 smut scenes - they're graphic but not extreme, fluff, angst, violence, mentions of death and suicide, blood, a fight scene - also quite graphic but it was written to serve the angst. I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you really connect with the characters, you will not hate me!!

This day had been long awaited. After months of back to back missions and endless efforts to climb up the greasy pole of US social standards, words failed to describe how ecstatic you were to know, that for the next 24 hours, your whole schedule would fully be in your hands.

You had the freedom to do just about anything you wanted, and the simple fact that the rest of the avengers left to deal with some paperwork excited you to no end. You woke up when it was time for them to take off, and made a snarky remark about heading to the gym - something along the lines of having a productive day centered on self development.

Just about 20 minutes later, you and Bucky, now also alone in the Stark Tower, decided to start off your day on the right foot. He offered to make protein smoothies as you changed into something comfortable and fitting for a workout, but neither of you got their job done.

You had no idea how that happened, but before you knew it you were wearing your sports bra and still had your pajama pants on, moaning on the counter of Tony's kitchen as Bucky had lodged himself between your legs, hungrily exploring the heated skin of your neck, peppering you with bruise marks that represented his adoration for you. "You heal fast anyway" he shrugged, pulling you closer and digging his teeth into your flesh, sucking profusely and eliciting an erotic moan from your lips. 

With every new hickey he left, another one would disappear, which in turn would make him even more frustrated, “The hell should I do? Tattoo hickeys on you!?” he groaned, moving up your neck. You caught his cheeks into your palms and kissed him back, smiling as he kept getting more and more aggravated. 

It didn't come as a surprise when the blender went berserk, splattering fruit pulp, almond milk and protein powder all over the pristine walls of the room - both of you have long forgotten about it. 

The way Bucky cleaned the mess was the epitome of not giving a shit, and you couldn't find it more endearing. He bitched and whined his way through the whole process, and tears formed at the corners of your eyes at the ridiculousness of the half assed job he just did. 

You eventually reached the gym - of course, against all your pouting and begging to put off this session. "Doll, you're the only avenger who can't fight. A punk on the street could snap your purse and there would be nothing you can do"

Wrong, he was not. You couldn't fight - but at the same time that didn't mean you were defenceless. It was your immense power that for months on end made your teammates consider you a liability. The energy that surged through your veins had been too great for you to handle, and in fact, it still was, but now, thanks to the joined efforts of Tony and Bruce, there was a way for that power to be contained. Their solution came in the form of two massive shackles wrapped around the length of your forearms. They were made of dimeritium and kept all kinds of energy from leaving your body. But, even so, that energy was in full form, buzzing inside every fiber of your being. And so, while wearing them you couldn't attack anyone, but there wasn't a way for them to harm you either. That field of energy protected you from every kind of damage and wounds you had ever encountered, ranging from fist fights to automatic rifles to guided grenades.

"I'm the only one that doesn't need to know" you huffed and puffed, annoyed but still determined to get this first training session done with.

But that never happened. Halfway through your warm up rounds, your teasing side awoke and it took you about ten minutes to go from batting your eyelashes and flaunting your ass, to nonchalantly cupping his cock into your hand.

No one could blame Bucky for not even trying to stop you. Bless him, he did everything he could, but he was never able to resist you. And probably never will be.

By the time you were done at the gym, both your bodies were coated in lecherous layers of sweat, no of them being from actually working out. It was only a matter of time until you managed to break his self control and he had you sprawled on all fours in the middle of the boxing ring, moaning your soul out as he pounded your pussy. 

The momentum made your whole frame rock back and forth, your hair falling around your face, "Holy fuck-" 

The room vibrated with the vulgar slaps he afflicted on your bare ass. You arched your back and cried his name out loud, "Come on, Bucky- I- harder please-"

"How are you already so needy?" he chuckled, caging your waist between his strong arms and pulling you up until your back reached his chest. "I ate this pussy this morning before we got out of bed"

"You know I love your tongue-" you giggled out of breath as you tried to look at him over your shoulder. "But it doesn't compare to your cock"

"What does?" Bucky rhetorically questioned before picking up his pace. He kept slamming his hips into yours, fucking you at full force as with each thrust, his cock rammed against your walls hard enough to make you see stars.

"I'm really fucking close, Buck" you whined, feeling your knees start to refuse to maintain your weight any longer. 

"Don't cum yet" he panted, "Wait for me"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you cried out loud, liquid pleasure seeping out of you in the form of fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. "Please-" you whined, "I can't hold it anymore, I'm-"

"Not yet, baby" Bucky groaned, easily stopping you from wiggling around in his hold. His thrusts became sloppy and the orgasm got the best of him. He buried his face deep in your shoulder as his high forced guttural moans to rip from his throat. 

As he filled you up with his cum, as much as you wanted to comment about him making you wait and then not even bothering to tell you you could cum, you couldn't. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your chest heaved as the spiral of bliss seemed to go on and on, tons of ecstasy propagating in long painful waves across your body.

"Fuck-" Bucky panted as helped you up, "I could get used to days like this. We should retire"

"I'm not retiring-" you teasingly shook your head, "not until you find a way to give me a baby"

"I'd give you all the babies" he retorted, tugging your hand.

It caused you to lose your balance and stumble into his chest, "I love you"

"Love you" Bucky kissed the top of your head and spun you around. With his palms on your hips, he started guiding you towards the door, "Let's get you cleaned up"

And then, another wave of unproductivity followed. You showered, ordered pizza, whined about how there was still some smoothie left on the floor, and after you warned him about it, your face fell as Bucky stepped directly in the middle of the puddle of almond milk. He was fuming, the incident wiped any traces of happiness off his face. He mumbled something about that being the last pair of comfy socks he had left and something about Tony's devices being a constant pain in the ass. 

He went on and on until you ambushed him with kisses up his neck and shoved your hands under his shirt. In an instant his bickering turned into soft giggles as he innocently relaxed under your touch. You eventually cleaned up the mess and tried to make yourself busy. Nothing worked, you weren't in the mood for anything and at the same time, even though you did absolutely nothing all day, you felt a wave of tiredness envelop you.

At about 4pm, and you Bucky had already been lazily laying in bed, a mess of tangled limbs under the fluffy duvet. Your conversation started from the tactical gear he swore would look better on you than on him and then wondered how you didn't know how to sow.

"I'll hit you" you threatened.

"I'm sorry" he laughed, holding onto your forearm as it was resting on his chest, "But you know how much I love it when you get angry at my misogynistic jokes"

"It's rude" you scoffed - you didn't mean his jokes, but the fact that when he grew up, women were not anywhere near where they are today. 

"You know I don't mean it"

"I know you don't" you laughed, "Otherwise I'd have actually hit you"

"Don’t worry" Bucky said, "I'd hit myself if I was that stupid"

"Cute" you smiled, kissing his shoulder. Looking up at him, you promoted your chin against his chest, "Do you miss it? The 40s i mean"

He thought about it for a second. "Nah" there was a bit of nostalgia in his tone, but you believed him. "I've kinda made my peace with the fact that everyone from my old life is gone. I wouldn't want to go back now. I got you. I got all of you guys. I'm good now, really good"

"I'm glad" you beamed, feeling yourself warm up from the inside just thinking of the progress he made. After a few seconds, you spoke up again, "But what about the society? Like the day to day life? How do you like the 2010s?"

"I can't lie" Bucky laughed, "I liked Romania better. Much simpler."

"You lived in a dead beat apartment, hiding everyday" you scoffed, "How was that better?"

"I don't know… maybe it was the simple life. Apparently I'm all about that"

"You'd move back there?"

"If you came with me?" he questioned, looking down at you. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes and a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn’t even think twice"

"Maybe one day" you sighed with content. You snuggled back against his side, and closed your eyes. "We're not done avenging yet" you mumbled.

He didn't say anything to that. You didn't know whether he was getting lost in thoughts or if he was starting to drift off, but you would have been fine with either. When he spoke up again, you didn't expect the conversation to take this route.

"About Romania…" he sighed, "What made you come with Steve back in 2016?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" he muttered, rubbing his light stubble, "I know why Steve came-" Bucky chuckled, "And Sam's all up his ass, so there's that. But what about you?"

"I-"

"I'm aware of the rift I caused between you guys back then. So that's why I'm asking. What made you stand by Steve from the beginning?"

"I knew how much you meant to him. And I know how this is going to sound, but I felt sorry for you, Buck. I know what it's like to be alone, to have everyone turn against you. You deserved better"

"Love-?" he called softly, his voice nearly breaking. "What do you mean you know what it's like to have everyone turn against you?"

As you maintained the eye contact, you felt tears prickle, "I know it wasn't fair of me to keep my past a secret, but-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-" he said softly, his eyes warm. The pain was readable on his features, he hated how your whole demeanour changed.

"It's not that I don't want you to know, it's just that I hate talking about it. Gives me nightmares."

"Then we can just drop it" Bucky murmured, gathering you closer.

"I wish you could know without me telling you" you laughed, "You make everything better and easier. I should've told you, I know. It isn't fair to you. We've been together for almost two years but as far as you're concerned I didn't exist until I joined the avengers. I don't even know how much they know. We never talked about it"

"Love, listen to me. I'm here whenever you want to talk about it. You didn't do anything wrong. There are a lot of things about me that you don't know either. We're not those people anymore. No one can blame us for trying to escape out past"

"Yeah, you're right" you sighed.

Gathering your power, you pushed yourself up and settled beside him, with your legs crossed. You grabbed his hand pulling it into your lap, and intertwined your fingers with his as you spoke.

"Forget the official story, there's no truth to it anyway"

"I really didn't believe your mum was a criminal and that you were in a mental asylum" he joked.

"Good-" you smiled, his words lifting the atmosphere a bit. "Truth is, I don't know anything about my parents. But I have my assumptions. I grew up in that soviet facility so I never met them. I was told it was owned by a group of socialite scientists who wanted our help"

"Our? Who's we?"

"There were 7 of us"

"Did they have the same power as you?"

"Approximately. When we were younger, we used to comply and do everything we were told but as we grew up, things started to change. We weren't happy. Who could be? Considering we were being held in cells and studied like lab rats. We started to act differently and some might even say we tried to rebel, but that didn't work obviously, and that's when the restrictions began. For the last 3 years I spent there, there hadn't been a day where the temperature passed 0°C." 

Your skin crawled as you recaled the endless nights you spent shivering your way to sleep. Everything around you was ice cold. But it wasn't for the sole purpose of torturing you. It was your only weakness. As the temperature dropped, so did the movement of the atoms that made up your body - eliminating your powers to the point where you were barely alive. 

"One day, as spring came, we wanted to break out. We made a plan, and figured that as soon as we were out, we'd be fine. We were wrong. We were off about the weather and they got us before we even exited the perimeter. That's when the avengers heard about us."

By now, Bucky's eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, his mouth agape as he took in the information you provided. With every word you spoke his grip tightened around your fingers and his eyebrows gathered even further. There was discomfort and anger in his features, but he didn't interrupt you once.

"After that, the restrictions got tougher. We realised there was no way out. A lot of things came together in that small time frame. I realised what that place actually was days after we tried to escape. My friends - or that's what I thought they were, figured out another plan. Why fight when you can just eliminate the premise?"

Bucky moved his lips but no words came out. He cleaned his throat and sat up a bit, "What- what do you mean?"

"They tried to kill me" you said, plastering a sympathetic smile on your lips, hoping it would make it easier for him to hear.

"What the fuck. Why?"

"I think my dad used to be part of that team. And I think he made me the way I am. Now I don't know why he wasn't around anymore, but that team wasn't trying to get us to do anything. They were trying to make more of me. So if I was dead-"

"There would be no reason to keep the other kids…" Bucky finished the sentence for you.

You nodded.

"And what happened?"

You bowed your head trying to find a way to put your words together. Bucky didn't rush you, just reassuringly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, waiting. When a tear from your cheek slipped and landed on the back of his hand, you looked up and took a deep breath. "I killed them. All of them."

He didn't say anything. Didn’t move a muscle, as he waited for you to continue. 

"I didn't even want to do that, Buck" you sobbed, breaking down. "I killed over 20 people because I was afraid. I didn't even move. I was in the corner of my room the whole time, but everyone who approached me was fried to death. I don't even know how I did that. I was just scared"

"Oh, baby" Bucky cooed, pushing himself up to wrap his arms around you. You fell against his chest, crumbling in his embrace. "I hope you know that was not your fault, ok?" he asked, rubbing your back. "You were just a kid, alone and afraid. It breaks my fucking heart, those bastards. Please don't feel sorry for them"

"I feel sorry for the other kids"

"They tried to kill you, Y/n" Bucky countered, "If you hadn't killed them, I would've gone after them. All of them"

"They were desperate..."

"So were you!"

"I can't help but feel like a monster sometimes, you know? Like I'm reckless and out of control. There are times when I'm all happy and excited about what tomorrow would bring, and then i remember what I did, and I have a hard time fighting away the thoughts that try to tell me I don't deserve that"

"What you deserve is the fucking world ok?" Bucky said, tilting your chin so you could see just how serious he was. "This past couple of years, you saved hundreds of lives and I know for a fact you did it out of the pure kindness of your heart, not because you wanted to make up for anything in the past. You're a fucking angel. You're the embodiment of good, you hear me? I know you. You'll never understand how much respect I have for you, and how in awe I am with the kind of person you are. Please, don't ever think less of yourself. Ever, ok?"

Tears rolled down your cheeks as his words proved to be much more than you were able to hear at that moment. "Thanks, Buck. That's sweet of you to say-"

"It's not sweet of me to say, it's the fucking truth" he scoffed, but he somehow managed to make it sound loving. "You didn't even fucking try, but just being around you made me feel like a person again. You're amazing, Y/n. We're all lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

"You're gonna make me cry" you sniffled, curling yourself into a ball against his chest, "I know you were in a dark place when we met. I'm glad I managed to help you through it"

"You pulled me through it" he sighed, tightening his hold around you. "I went from wanting to die, to thinking that I didn't even deserve the easy way out. Look at me now."

"Buck, stop"

"I love you so fucking much" Bucky laughed. 

His whole frame shook as he pulled you back down, safely holding you between his arms, "You're amazing" he added, kissing the top of your head, "Perfect"

"I said, stop" you chuckled, slapping his side, "I get it, you like me, can we-"

"I adore you" Bucky cut you off after grabbing the sides of your face between his palms. "And thanks for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about your past, so thank you. I'm always here for you. If there's anything ever, I got you, ok? Forever"

"I got you too" you added, kissing his cheek and then moving along his jawline, "No matter what happens, you'll always have me on your side. I'm all yours, Bucky"

"Yeah, you are, doll. All mine"

After that talk, how you managed to fall into a deep sleep will always remain a mystery. Nightmares didn't make their way into your mind, and you settled for a dreamless slumber, actually fully content for the first time in a long while.

But not everybody processed grief the same way. And if Bucky mentioned earlier that he was lucky to have you, as you were pulled out of your sleep, you realised that he wasn't as lucky as you were when it came to the mysteries that creep up on you when you least expect them.

-

"Wake up sunshine"

The sound reached your ears, but it wasn't Bucky's voice, so you just groaned in response and rolled over to the other side, completely pressing your face into the pillow.

"Buttercup, it's time to wake up"

The voice seemed uneasy, as if the person speaking was actually terrified. You opened your eyes wearily, and were met with the usual, complete darkness of your room. 

"Come on, Y/n" they spoke again. You turned to see one of Tony's maintenance robots hovering above your body, one small screen lit up on its front. Blinking a few times to rid yourself of the sleep still lingering in your eyes, you managed to make out the faces of Tony and Steve, both staring at you.

"What's going on?" you mumbled.

"You've got incoming," Tony announced, and then shook his head at whatever someone next to him had said. The microphone wasn't performant enough for you to hear what the other person said, but it was not like you cared.

"Incoming what?" you questioned, still confused out of your mind.

He turned his attention back to you, "The asshole"

You frowned and Steve scoffed, "Y/n, it's Bucky. He's not well"

"Wh-" you mumbled, your head snapping to the side, only then realising his side of the bed was empty. You shuffled your arm around the sheets, still warm. "What- what happened?"

"He's gone rogue, Y/n" Steve announced, genuine worry and guilt audible in his voice, "You need to make sure he doesn't leave. You need to stop him"

Tony's workstation. You needed to get the shackles off your arms if you wanted to stand a chance, "Tony? How do I take these off?" you asked, pointing to your cuffs.

"Already taken care off" he nodded, "Get to my desk, it's unlocked. All you need to do is actually get there. If you can"

"If I can-?" you began asking, but a loud explosion sound cut you off, causing the bed to shake as a wind blew through your room. "What the fuck!?"

"He may have found the grenade launchers" Tony smiled bitterly.

"Y/n," Steve called for you, "Please, be careful. And call us. Me and Nat will take the jet but I don't know-"

"Don't worry" you shook your head, jumping off the bed and rushing to your closet. You chose the first clothes you saw laying before your eyes and put them on, ready to go look for Bucky. "I got this, I promise"

"Oh, and Y/n?" Tony said, making you turn to him at the last minute, "Try not to fry my tower"

You nodded and refrained from making any promises you didn't know you could keep. 

As soon as you walked out the door, the sound of automatic rifles going off became deafening. Stepping over piles of broken glass, you made your way to the emergency staircase, heading to Tony's lab. You did so with maximal caution, knowing that if you were spotted, there would be no going back.

Descending the last remaining flight of stairs until his work station, a rush of adrenaline surged through you, knowing just how close you were. Silently rounding the corner, your eyes landed on Bucky's frame, easily holding one of the remaining SHIELD agents up by the neck.

He turned to look at you, eyes cold and empty. Not even rage. There was nothing there. No expression, no empathy, no feeling. It was as if he was dead. This wasn't him. 

"Buck-" you panted, raising your hands up in the air, signaling surrender. You eyed Tony's desk, determined to stall him until you managed to free yourself of the cuffs.

You took a cautious step to the side, hands still up in the air. Bucky watched you as the man struggled against his hold, legs spasming uncontrollably as he kicked and squirmed, even though it was so clearly in vain.

"Don’t mind me-" you smiled, sweat flooding your pores as you slowly approached your destination. "I'll just-"

"You'll just what-?" Bucky groaned, flinging his victim with impeccable ease. The agent's body flew across the room, crushing into the only device that had the power to help you get through this. As the work station crumpled under his weight, so did your hopes of getting out of this. 

"Bucky, hey-" you mumbled, afraid of pissing him off, "I-"

"Who the hell is Bucky?" he frowned, starting to march towards you. Your blood ran cold, knowing you didn't have what it took to keep up with him. You were never able to dodge anyone's blows, let alone his. When he reached you, his hand instantly reached around your neck, lifting you off the floor, "SHIELD?" he asked after taking a look at your attire. Although not carrying the emblem, it was probably the only explanation that made sense to him.

"Well, um-" you huffed, holding onto his wrist in hopes of not running out air, "No, not SHIELD"

"Then who are you?" he growled, tightening his hold on your windpipe.

"Fuck-" you gasped, kicking your legs, even through he didn't even flinch when you hit him. "You're not gonna believe this but, um-"

"Try me"

You looked into his eyes, hoping it would serve as some kind of a memento, that maybe he'd remember you. "You know me, Buck. It's Y/n, I'm- your girlfriend?"

Even saying it made you feel weird. This killing machine, apparently hell bent on wrecking havoc, was not the man you loved, and you cringed just imagining his reaction to hearing your words.

And it did turn out to be worse than expected, as he spun around, doing a complete 180° with your body before slamming you down on the floor. The wood cracked under your bones, knocking the wind out of you. The pain of the impact was excruciating, propagating along your body in waves of some physical agony you had never felt before. The sound of your bones cracking made you sick to your stomach. Your ears caught the sound of your arteries being torn as your organs collapsed.

And if you felt every inch of your body being shattered and destroyed, it was God's way of making you pay for your parent's mistakes, as when your wounds healed mere seconds later, the pain did not go away. Your nerve receptors still registered damage to the tissues, and no matter whether you were actually as good as new, your brain couldn't process that.

What consumed you the most was the fact that as you struggled to stand up, the pain of broken limbs lingered on. But you fought through it, gathered yourself and stood up, facing him again.

You winced with every muscle contraction, but eventually your eyes met his. He showed curiosity, along with something else. Something else which you wished wasn't determination to finish you.

"Can we-" you whimpered, extending a hand, "Can we talk?"

"Talk!?" Bucky raged, grabbing your wrist and twisting your arm to the point where he spun you around, your back pressing against his chest. "Not here to talk" he growled into your ear.

The hairs on your body stood as you heard his voice. Even though it was technically the same voice you loved more than anything in the world, it made you now shiver with a fear you've never experienced before. 

You didn't get a chance to sink too deep in your thoughts before Bucky raised your arm, dislocating your shoulder and busting your humerus into pieces. The pain cut your legs at the knees and you screamed in agony, falling to the floor at his feet.

"Stand up" he commanded, slamming his foot into your side. The momentum made your body roll away, until you settled back on the ground, face deep in the rubble. Your muscles pulled you to your feet with ease, but the pain coursing through you was immense, nowhere near close to what you thought bearable. You felt the skin being ripped from your body and when you looked down, your clothes were torn, soaked in blood, but your skin was intact. It was what you needed to keep going - to get inside your head the fact that you were fine, because at this point, the pain was one bruise away from making you faint.

"Bucky, please-" you cried.

"Stop calling me Bucky!" he yelled, starting to approach you again.

With every step he took, you slowly backed away. "Please, listen to me, just a second, please!"

He shook his head no, a demented smile on his lips as he closed in on you.

"Bucky-"

As a reply to your question, his fist flew up, slamming into your jaw, hard enough to throw you to the ground, "Why do you keep calling me-"

"What else do you want me to call you, huh?" you yelled at him, vision blurred under too many layers of tears. "Tell me, and I'll do it if it'll get you to listen to me."

"I don't want you to call me anything-" he cocked his head to the side, unstrapping a handgun from his thigh. He loaded it as you barely managed to crawl away, "You can take the pain. I respect that. Let's see how well you do with these lead bullets"

You saw them in slow motion, barely managing to duck your head behind the remains of what once was a heavy wooden bookshelf. The bullets missed your chest and face, but you saw them, felt them penetrate your skin, ripping through your muscles. 

The sound of your tissues being pulled to shreds made you feel sick to your stomach. As the bullets left your body, your wounds closed back up, leaving you a crying mess on the floor. Your throat constricted due to the wave of shock that hit your body, and your lungs started hyperventilating. Lightheaded and gasping for air, you struggled to crawl away from him, tears marching down your face and ending up on the floor, nothing but diluting the droplets of blood that had fallen from your body mere minutes before. Your heart was in overdrive and your vision blurred as every fiber of your being threatened to let you down. "Please-" you screamed, your voice breaking as you raised your hand for him, "Let's talk, please. That's all I want. Give me a minute"

But he didn't. He didn't even consider it. Instead, the force that controlled the body of the only man that ever managed to make you feel safe, tortured, destroyed and consumed your body for what felt like the better part of an eternity.

You had been thrown through walls, shattered windows, had glass shards lodged into your body from all angles. He unloaded cannon after cannon on you, used up all the ammo he had on him, only growing more and more annoyed when you refused to give up.

There was no way to know how much time had passed. Now you were standing by the window, inches away from the spot where two nights ago, you and Bucky clicked your glasses, smiling at how far you both had come. He laughed, saying he wouldn't have made it without you. And then he kissed you, confessing that the thought that maybe you couldn't have made it without him either, was what kept him going. 

And then there you were. 48 hours later, again, just the two of you. But now there weren't any champagne glasses between you, just his metal arm, wrapped around your neck, this time, as he said, for the last time.

"I don't get it-" he scowled, teeth gritted and frustration in his voice, "Why don't you fight me?"

"I can't fight you" you whimpered as your tears poured down against his cold hand, "And even if I could, I wouldn't."

"WHY?" Bucky screamed, and for a second, you thought you saw a crack there, a glister of emotion hidden deep in his otherwise beautiful eyes.

"Because I love you" you cried.

But there was none. He rolled his eyes and pushed you back, your body slamming into the window. You should've thought faster, been more witty and considerate, but terror washed over you and in the heat of the moment, you grabbed onto him for dear life, pulling him down with you, plummeting to the ground from what looked like the 70th floor of the Stark Tower. 

If until now you had been afraid of what you'd have to endure, it was now that you met true terror. You'd survive the fall, but he wouldn't. 

Even in the air, approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, he kept fighting you. Even in this state, you admired his determination - he had a job and wanted to get it done - even if that job was killing you. A man of his word.

By now, the pain was unnoticeable. If you wanted to keep him alive you had to act fast. Clinging to his body despite his vicious protests and ruthless blows, you used your momentum to turn the two of you around. And you did so at the last second, as before you knew it, your bodies crashed into the boulevard below, sinking down into the asphalt as it crumpled under your weight. 

The impact cut your breath away and there was a gnawing feeling all over your body, as if you had blades under your skin, pulling your body apart fiber by fiber. But you snapped out of it.

"Bucky!" you yelled, slapping his cheek.

He had fallen completely on top of you, his head pressed against your chest. He didn't move and the continuous buzz in your ears made it physically impossible for you to tell whether he was breathing for not.

"Bucky, please-" you cried, trying to move him so you could see his face. 

Nothing.

"No, no, no!!" you screamed, "You can't die, baby, please! Not like this, love. Please come back to me, Buck, I'm begging you!!"

You remained there and wailed, with him glued to your chest. Your arms had wrapped around his motionless frame, keeping him as close as you could. Nothing could have gotten you to stop. Tens of people gathered around the crater your fall created around your bodies, police showed up, cameras were pointed at your faces, but you didn't care. If he died, so would you. 

"You're all I have, baby-" you muttered, voice hoarse and dry from all the wailing and crying, "Please, you can't leave me. This can't be the end of us. Please, I don't know what to do, Bucky, please!"

You were soaked. In blood, and you didn't even know whether it was his or yours. God, how you hoped it all belonged to you, how the pool of blood you laid in was all yours. Tears soaked your face, pouring down your temples as your whole frame shook with your sobs, that was the true agony. You'd rather spend the rest of your days fighting for your life if it meant he got to see the sun again. You wished he'd hate you, rather than not feel anything at all ever again.

"Please-" you said again but this time your voice didn't even reach your own ears, you didn't hold that power anymore, "Please, you need to come back! You deserve so much better than this. You're the best man I have even known, you can't die like this, not today, Bucky. Not today!"

By now, the people around you had scattered. They knew your identities and for all the wrong reasons, feared you both. You were grateful for that now, you were alone with him again, as the sun began to set and a chilly New York night began to settle. 

Still, you didn't move. You still had faith. Or you were just stubborn. There was no way you'd pull away until someone either pried him off of you against your will, or someone that you trusted showed up promising they'd help.

None of them came, and you remained there, cradling his frame to your chest begging whatever God was listening, to bring him back. You didn't know if one of them heard you, or if it was just blind luck or fate, but you only realised his metal arm was lodged under your body when he moved it.

"Buck!" you cried, cupping his cheeks in your bloodied palms as literal life cursed through your veins. "Oh god, you're ok, you're alive!! You came back to me!"

You managed to hug him close one more time, before he pushed himself off of you. In the process of standing up, his eyes met yours for the briefest second. Again, nothing.

He gathered himself to his feet, wordlessly bending down to grab your hair. He forced you up and you instantly obliged, following him back into the building.

Once inside, he knocked you through a glass door, your body once again absorbing his fury. The pain had dissipated into a dull ache, and this time, you stood up faster. "I can do this all day" you sighed, the lie slipping past your lips with such ease, as if the energy inside your core wasn't running dangerously low.

"What did you just say?" he questioned.

He seemed taken aback, "I said that I can do this all day"

"Who are you?" Bucky yelled, marching towards you, determined to get answers out of you through nothing else but brute force. He slammed you back onto the floor, only to straddle your thighs and pick you up by the collar of your shit. "Why won't you just fucking die!?"

Circling your fingers around his wrists, you searched for his eyes, "Wanna know what keeps me alive?"

"Are you stupid enough to tell me?"

"I might be" you shook your head, "but I'll still tell you"

"Why?"

"Because I know you won't kill me" you cried, "I know you know me. I know you're in there somewhere. The man I love. I know you don't have it in you to kill me"

"Try me" he laughed, drunk with the power you were so willing to give him.

"These-" you panted, raising your arms in the air to show him your cuffs, "These are what's been keeping me alive but I know you won't-"

But you never finished the sentence. He didn't even think twice before ripping them off your arms and throwing them onto the floor, along with all the other mess you two had made.

You never thought he'd actually spare you. So it wasn't a surprise when the first thing he did after freeing you, was reach for his knife with the sole purpose of driving it through your chest.

But you were faster. You framed his face into your palms, releasing the energy from your body and allowing it to flow through his. It felt weird, wrong and chaotic, and the power surge wiggled itself out of your control, until a blast between your bodies sent you both flying back across the room, falling down onto the floor.

And this time none of you stood up.

-

"I leave them alone for what, a day?" Tony sighed, walking out of his Iron Man suit. 

"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, his knees betraying him as he tried to rush to you.

"No, wait!" Nat stopped him, "You can't wake them up until we get them somewhere safe. We need to make new cuffs for Y/n, and find a way to keep Bucky contained in case, you know… he's still not Bucky"

Steve was fuming with anger, nostrils flaring, "These are my friends you're talking about!" he exclaimed, pointing to your bodies on the floor, "Your friends too, Nat. You see them like this and the first thing you think about is restraining them!?"

"We need to make sure we're all safe" she sighed with sympathy, grabbing his hand for a comforting rub.

"You make sure you're safe-" Steve scoffed, "I'll make sure they're alive"

"Hey-" Nat stopped him, "If you touch her and startle her in any way, you die!"

Her words hurt him but he knew you never would. Steve felt his heart shutter just imaging what you must have gone through. He was ablaze with pure determination to prove Nat wrong, and to do right by you and Buck. "I carried her in my arms while she was passed out when we rescued her from that facility-" he fummed, pointing at you, "She never knew a man that didn't try to hurt her before. And when she woke up, she was afraid. Scared for her life. She cried in my arms and begged me to not let them take her again! She was never anywhere close to hurting me! She's good. So good. There's only good inside of her, I trust her to not hurt me more than I trust myself, ok? If I'm wrong, so be it. I die. I don't care. She deserves someone to look after her. If I had to chose, saving her would be the way I'd want to go"

His rant left Nat speechless. She just gave him a simple nod and stepped back. 

Carefully, he picked you up and carried you upstairs, as Tony put his suit back on and carried Bucky.

-

Never in your life had you woken up this fast. Your eyes snapped open and you sprung to your feet. 3 pairs of anxious eyes watched you, all of them ready to jump into action in case the situation called for an intervention.

"What-" you gawked, scanning the room, "Where is Bucky? Is he- is-"

"He's fine, Y/n" Steve assured you. He stood up and slowly approached you, arms outstretched. Your first instinct was to go for it, but when you reached him, you placed both your hands in his, and looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Are you sure?" you whimpered, "Can I see him?"

Sympathy took over his features, but Tony jumped in, "Absolutely not"

"What-" you turned to him, "Why? Did I-?"

"You didn't do anything wrong" Steve hummed, engulfing you in a hug even though you remained stiff in your spot. He rubbed your back, eager to soothe your worried mind, but you were too out of it.

“Can I just go?” you whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could see how serious you were, “I need to see him, please”

“Are you mad at him?” Nat asked with caution and your face fell.

“No!” you gasped, stepping away from Steve’s embrace, “No, not even one bit. I know that was not him, I know it’s not his fault. But when Bucky wakes up-”

“If he wakes up-” Tony sneered, roaming around the room. He nursed a glass of whiskey, as a mixture of disgust and exhaustion was readable on his features. 

“When he wakes up!” you spoke through gritted teeth. Determination coated your words and the hairs on your body stood as you refused to even think of the alternative. “He will wake up. And I have to be there”

“What if the Winter Soldier wakes up?” Nat asked.

“That didn’t stop me last time”

“Oh, no!” Tony butted in, stepping in between you and Nat, arms outstretched, “You know I’m not one to cry after money, but you and your pal left me with $37 million worth of damage. You two are one broken cup away from getting thrown into the streets”

The sum he mentioned made the skin on your back crawl. You didn’t even have $37 dollars to your name, but it made sense. Your body alone crashed through three TV’s, one gamma ray projector and if you thought about it, you remembered Bucky pulling apart one of the Iron Legion robots, and only the thought made you flinch. 

“So-” Tony said, “You two? Never in the same room again!”

“Take these off then” you suggested, pointing at the cuff on your wrists.

“Ha” Tony exclaimed, “A big chunk of that money comes from you frying all my electronics up until the 12th floor. Absolutely not”

“Tony, I’m serious” you whined, “He will hate himself. I need to be there! I need to make sure he doesn’t take all the blame on his shoulders”

He frowned, and sighed. He wasn’t an unreasonable man, and you hoped that core deep inside his chest really made up for a heart. And… it did. None of them were happy about it, but they finally accepted. Nat and Tony would have never probably given up if it wasn’t for Steve - right now, like so many times before, he really did seem like your guardian angel.

They ended up monitoring the room, and Tony waited for your signal, one hand on his cigarette, the other on the Iron Man suit. He was all talk - if anything was to go down and you would actually be in danger again, he wouldn’t even think twice before tearing his towers into pieces if it meant he could get you out alive.

And so you left, thanked them in the form of a simple nod, and headed down the dark hallways.

Oh, how you hated this.

What consumed you now had nothing to do with the pain you had endured in the past 24 hours. Its source was not physical, yet your whole body ached. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - and in some way, it was - Bucky was your whole world, and the fear of losing him breathed down your neck.

It had been about 20 minutes since you stopped in front of the door that led to the room he'd been confined in. When FRIDAY announced that Bucky woke up, you rushed over, only for a hazardous sense of anguish to stop you dead in your tracks. Judging by the way he sat in the corner of the room, his fingers aimlessly tracing every indentation in the handcuffs Tony had restrained him with, you had no problem telling which one of him woke up. He broke your heart. His room was equipped with 5 different cameras and 2 microphones. Completely unaware of them, he sat inches away from one, and your heart shattered, sinking 3 stories below when you heard him whimper.

It was soft and quiet. His whole frame shook as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. He was hunched down, brown hair covering his perfect face, but still, his sadness brought you to tears. 

You heard him again. He sniffled as he laid back against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, lips almost white and dry as his chest raced up and down. His muscles clenched and his feet bounced against the metal floor, it was a sight you never wished you see ever again. 

Softly, you raised a hand, and thought twice before finally knocking.

"Go away," Bucky called, voice all hoarse and dry as it broke halfway through.

You were able to see him on the small screen next to the door, but he had no idea who came to visit.

Out of instinct, you knocked again before typing in the password and ever so slowly walking inside.

Instantly, he looked up. He was surrounded by an air of darkness and despair, ever so obviously tormented to the peak of his capability.

He stared at you for a few seconds as his eyes watered, and then he gathered his lips into a straight line, shaking his head. "Please, go"

"Bucky, I-"

"Please" he cried, head falling forward as he toyed with the metal edges of his prosthetic arm. He shook his head, "Please, don't do this. Just, go"

You took a deep breath, only then entering the room far enough to actually be able to close the door behind you. Slowly turning back to him, your palms sweated as you had no idea what to say to him. 

"Can you talk to me, Buck? Please?"

He chuckled, "About what?" 

"About whatever it is you think you did wrong, I-"

As he heard your words, his hands instantly flew up to cover his face. He was, however, stopped, as the cuffs on his left wrist kept him from moving too much. While a new row of tears flooded his cheeks, his eyes met yours, "Look at me.. I need to be restrained while you're alone with me"

"Those cuffs would literally do nothing to stop you from escaping, and you know it"

"Maybe it's just a sense of reassurance"

"To who?" you scoffed.

"To them" Bucky responded, nodding his head towards one of the cameras. "I'm a monster" he added, wiggling his cuff restrained hand, "I'm a danger to everyone"

"Oh for fucks sake" you rolled your eyes, marching up to him. With absolutely no remorse, you grabbed his hand and harshly pulled apart the metal that had him restrained to the bed. Before he got a chance to say anything, you bent down, unclipped the microphone from the foot of the bed, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it, until it was nothing but a small pile of shattered plastic.

And you kept going, destroying the second microphone along with the 5 cameras on the walls as Bucky watched you with surprise. You finished by going for the door and locking it from the inside. "You think I'm afraid of you?" you asked softly, "For 6 hours you did your best to kill me and failed miserably. Look at me, I'm unscathed"

"Did you hear yourself?" he cringed, shaking his head, "I tried to kill you"

"Ok, I know I said that you did your best-" you said, mentally scolding yourself for the error in communication. "We both know that wasn't you. That wasn't you, Buck. It was Hydra. It was the winter soldier, not you. My Bucky would never-"

"Y/n-" he stopped you, "I know you don't see things the way I do-"

"But I see them the right way"

"Listen-" Bucky sighed, driving his hands through his hair. For the first time that night you actually saw his full face, his cheek and signature scowl, his blue eyes and the tilt of the corner of his mouth - your soul melted when you associated the picture with the words that came out of his mouth. "I can't blame you for being here. I can't. If the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. But, holy fuck-" he sighed, pausing to gather his thoughts. Bucky looked you up and down. His lips quivered and his head fell to the side as a sad smile appeared on his lips. "Remember this morning? How we talked about our hypothetical child?" he laughed and shook his head, "Even if I know we could never have a kid because we're both sterile, it was still the most beautiful thought that ever crossed my mind, Y/n''

"Mine too, Buck-"

"And what did I do?" he dismissed your empathy, "Two hours later I was unloading an AK-47 into your stomach, like the brainwashed maniac that I am!"

"Don’t say that!" you exclaimed, "Don't you dare think about things like this!"

"Why wouldn't I?" he threw his hands up in the air, "What does it matter whose fault it is? I get to live with the consequences."

"But-" you breathed out, "We can work through this. You did it before. You can't let something that hydra did dictate your life, Bucky. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy!"

"I tried to kill you!" he screamed, for the first time losing his calm and standing up to be at the same level as you.

"That was not you!"

"So what?" he huffed, "I was there, Y/n! I will never, NEVER get the feeling of crushing your bones out of my head! I felt your neck snap! I choked you with my arms! That is not something I can live with! I can't live a life by your side if every time I look at you I'm reminded of those horrible things I did to you!"

"Buck-" you cried, looking at him from behind too many layers of unshed tears, "Please, don't say that"

"I'm sorry" he responded in the same fashion, his pain coating every word he said. "When I close my eyes I see you laying in a puddle of blood. I can't stop hearing your screams of agony. Agony that no matter how you put it, was caused by my hands. That's not something we can live with, Y/n. You were not made for this. You really do fucking deserve someone that won't wake up one day and try to murder you in cold blood"

"And what do you deserve, Buck?" you quietly asked, searching for his eyes, "To live your life alone? Forever? If you had been with anyone else, this would have turned out so much worse. That cute barista three blocks down that always scribbles a heart on your coffee cup? She's cute, yeah. You deserve to be loved by someone, but if that someone was her, you wouldn't be drowning in guilt right now, Bucky, you'd be mourning her. Yes, you got troubles. Yes, you've got a past more fucked up than anyone else I have ever heard about. That's the kind of shit you can't change. But whatever you do from now on, is in your fucking hands and yours alone. Don't try to tell me you're not worthy of having someone, because that's the fattest load of crap I've ever heard. You're a good man! With a fucked up past! And a dark side that you need to fight! And you have me! I don't care you dropped Tony's piano on my legs, apparently I can take it! I'm here for you no matter what! You don't want to be with me anymore? Fine. But don't you dare push me away, thinking that a ruined future makes up for a ruined past"

"Who's to say I won't try it again?" he asked, "I don't know what triggered the transition. But what if once a week I end up trying to kill you-"

"Apparently you can't!" you laughed bitterly.

"Ok, so I can't" he nodded in approval, "Is that what you want? I should be your rock, your best friend, I should always be there for you. Do you want to have your whole world turned upside down whenever my brain decides to go berserk?"

"See, Buck" you sighed, "Of course I don't want that. I can't fucking stand here and tell you that I do. What kind of credibility would I have then? But you know what I want? You. You and whatever nazi shit that comes along. I want you. To help you. To have you with me. To see you everyday. If every Saturday at 10am you decide you want to kill me, you best believe I'm sacrificing my morning coffee just so we can kung fu around the living room"

He looked at you for a long second, the corners of his lips fighting a hard battle against the hint of a smile that started to show on his features. Eventually he caved and chuckled, shaking his head, "That was a bit funny"

"And fucking true," you cried, going for his hands and bringing them up to your chest. He winced, but you spoke up again, determined to not let his mind torture him.

"I love you, Bucky"

"How do you not hate me?" he choked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can you seriously look at me and not get even the slightest instinct to run away?"

"Bucky..." you breathed out, cupping his cheek. "How could I run away when I've never seen you in more pain than right now?"

"You're an angel, you know that?" 

"I've been called a lot of things" you giggled, "Angel isn't one of them, but if that's what you want, I'll take it"

"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around your frame. He had you nuzzle against his chest, his hold keeping you tight and secure. His heart beat against your cheek and your eyes watered again. There wasn't one thing in the world you wouldn't do for that heart - to make sure it keeps beating, and that it keeps the man you love alive. And content, above all. All you wanted right now was for him to accept the things that happened. You wanted to take whatever weight he was carrying on his shoulders, and put it upon yourself. "I love you so much, Bucky" you cried against his chest as your hold tightened around him, "I hate to see you torn like this. I don't want anything to ever happen to you. It terrifies me. I love you with all that I am. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve the world, baby"

"So do you" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

You felt his chest shake, a deep rumble echoed from the depths of his lungs. You looked up to see him fight back a sob, his eyes wide open, glossy and red, trained down on you, "I love you too much to do this, Y/n. I'm sorry, I don't think I can"

"No!" you gasped, pressing your face back against his shoulder, "Don't do that. You can't do that. No"

"We won't work, Y/n" Bucky said as he brought you even closer, "I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you without dying inside. You don't want to live with me like that"

"Yes, I do!" you sobbed. "I'll work with anything you give me, I swear there is nothing more I want. Just you. Just you and me. Bucky, please don't do this"

He held you close for what felt like half a second, but rationally speaking, your legs were getting numb. You just stood there, clinging to his body, taking in his scent and listening to his breathing even out until he pushed you away. Oh, how you didn't want to let go. Ever. But you did, and choked back a sob as soon as you felt the cold air of the room brush against the part of your body that had been pressed to his.

"We should get some sleep, Y/n"

"Are you coming with me?" you whimpered, afraid of the answer he might give you.

Bucky shook his head, "I think I'll just sleep here tonight"

That broke you. The shock and terror cut your breath away. It felt impossible - the feeling of losing him. The amount of pain that surged through you. At that particular moment, you felt like cracking your chest open to grip your heart into your hand and pick apart the broken parts. But not even that felt good enough, you were fairly sure you'd be left with nothing. It felt like a slap across your cheek, like a cloth had been placed over your mouth and your legs cut at the knees. It felt like the end. 

Optimistic by nature, not even you could deny the reason he wanted to sleep alone. It was clear as day.

"If-" you mumbled, tears coating your face at their own free will, voice shaking as you barely managed to articulate the words over the violent sobs that ripped their way out of your throat. "If I promise to not do anything to try and convince you to stay… can you promise me that in case you decide to leave, you'll come and tell me first?"

"Oh, doll" Bucky broke down all over again, throwing himself at you again. He collapsed on top of you, molding his body around yours. "I promise, angel"

You just nodded. That was all you could do. It took another few moments for you to gather yourself and stop wailing, but you did, and then, with nothing else other than a sad smile, you left. 

Your feet carried you to your room, and you were ready to collapse on top of your bed. Eager to cuddle into his pillows. They smelled like that shower gel you got him and you hated it. You wanted his scent. Not even caring how ridiculous it sounded, you padded over to the chair in the corner of your bedroom, the one Bucky uses to discard all his worn clothes. 

You wanted to find a shirt he wore, one that smelled exactly like you knew him, but before you reached the clothes pile, your attention was drawn to the window.

Steve was standing there, facing the busy streets outside, hands in his pocket and his head turned in your direction.

"I didn't see you, sorry" you gasped, as your eyes accommodated to the darkness.

"It's fine" he shook his head, "I just figured you'd turn on the lights, you know, like the normal people. Didn't think I'd scare you"

"Yeah, sorry" you sighed, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "I did even think about turning the lights on"

He didn't say anything, but you saw him nod. He knew your pain. He lost enough in his life, and seeing his best friend sink back into his darkness was surely not easy for him either.

"Is he ok?" Steve eventually asked.

You shook your head, "He's too good of a man to be ok"

"That is Bucky" he laughed, and you couldn't help but do the same. The irony.

Steve's curiosity was palpable in the room. Words could not describe the appreciation you had for him for respecting your boundaries and not pushing you in a moment like this. But he deserved to know.

You opened your mouth to explain to him what happened, but as your mind processed everything all over again, you broke down. "I think he's gonna leave-" you cried.

Steve was quick to gather you in his arms, engulfing you in a bear hug, helping you stand on your own two feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, concern tracing his tone.

"I understand him, I do. And I promised I won't try to get him to stay if he doesn't want to. But- but I should've done more, Steve. I should've shown him somehow how much I love him. But I'm afraid he'll leave, and I don't want to live-"

"Hey, hey, hey" Steve hurried to stop you, petting your head softly before urging you to look up at him. "Bucky loves you more than I ever thought possible, ok? There's no question about it. I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I think he'll postpone it anyway"

"What?"

"The man wants to marry you, ok?" Steve smiled, "He asked Tony if he had any work for him so he could raise money. Can you imagine how that went down? He was red like a tomato, but he didn't think twice. James Barnes used the computer to look for rings for you. The Bucky I know? Never would've done this. You brought to life a part of him that no one else has seen before. He loves you. With all that he is. And trust me when I tell you, he won't stand to be away from you. You're his whole world, Y/n. He's my best friend, trust me when I tell you this is something you'll work through. I'll help, we'll all help. You're not gonna lose him, Y/n. He's so beat up about all of this because he loves you this much. He's all yours. If he decides to leave, I need you to be strong because he will be back. I got him back 70 years later. You just need to trust him. Trust his heart, ok?"

"Oh my god" you cried, "I don't know what to say"

"Don’t say anything" he chuckled, "We've been through so much together. All of us. Even if we try, nothing pulls us apart, ok? How many times has Loki died, hm?"

"God, Steve!" you scoffed somewhat amused and pulled back just to hit him, "Did you seriously compare Bucky to Loki!?"

"It got you to smile, didn't it?" he laughed. "But I'm serious. You've both been through so much worse than this. You'll get through this one too. And in case you ever feel like you won't, I'm here, ok?"

"Ok…"

Funny as it all was, it worked. He calmed you down - to some extent. Gave you hope you didn't know existed. If it wasn't for Steve, you probably would have not been able to fall asleep. And even though dreams didn't visit you, and you never relaxed enough to actually get some rest, you just dozed off. All clothed and curled diagonally on the bed, you cuddled Bucky's pillow to your chest as your eyes slowly fell closed.

When you opened them again, it was still dark out. You had no idea what pulled you awake as you struggled to sit up on the bed, but then you heard Bucky's voice again, from the doorway.

"Y/n?"

“Buck?” you gasped, turning around. Only his silhouette was visible, head hung low and hands deep in his pockets. He was leaning against the doorway, silently awaiting your response.

Right then and there, you felt your world collapse. Steve’s monologue made you actually fucking believe things would be fine, but here he was, keeping his promise. In the buttcrack of night, he kept his word, bidding you a much feared farewell.

“Is-” you sobbed, jumping out of bed and rushing towards him. You almost knocked him off of his feet when you flung yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate, caging you between his arms. “Is this it? You’re leaving?”

He didn’t say anything which frankly made everything worse. You broke down even further, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only source of oxygen keeping you alive - it sure felt like it.

“Look at me” Bucky urged you, tilting your chin up, “Please?”

You slowly lifted your head, your eyes meeting his.

“I’m sorry, I will make it up to you” he whispered, a frown settling above his tired eyes, “You’ll see”

“What does that even mean?" you questioned, tired and sick of this ongoing conflict that should not even have been an issue to begin with. "You don't have to make up for anything"

"I know you see things like that" he cooed, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. He spoke softly, his breath fanning against your skin, somehow, even in this situation, managing to calm you down. "But you can understand me too, right?"

"I don't want to" you shrugged, "I don't care. Why does it matter if I understand you or not if you're gonna leave anyway?"

"I'm not leaving, doll"

"What!?" you beamed, pulling away from his hold and grabbing his face in your palms, "You're not- but you're-"

His whole frame softened, "I'm not here to say goodbye, Y/n. I'm not going anywhere"

"Oh god" you gasped.

"Come on, come here" Bucky chuckled softly, bringing you back into his hold, "I'm staying here. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. You're the most badass woman I know and I managed to break you"

"I love you, Buck" 

"I love you more, Y/n" he sighed, "I'll make everything right, I promise"

"Oh, fuck" you breathed out relieved, "Just do whatever you want, I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters."

"And we also need to teach you to fight-" he added, "For real. And find a way for you to take those goddamn shackles off in case this happens again"

"Tony won't be too happy about it" you laughed.

"Fuck if I care-" Bucky said strenly, pointing at you, "Next time, you need to be able to stop me. And fast"

"Maybe it won't happen again"

"Maybe not" Bucky nodded, "But if it does, we need to be ready"

"Thank you" you said, "I know I didn't play this right. I know I literally dismissed everything that you must have gone through today. I'm sorry"

"You don't get to be sorry" Bucky stopped you, "Not after-"

"Then you don't get to, either!"

"Meh" he shrugged, "We'll see"

"Bucky!"

"I love you" he laughed, bending down to pick you up. He planted his hands on the back of your thighs, picking you up with ease and walking you over to the bed. You plopped back against the fluffy mattress with a huff, and giggled as he crawled his way on top of you. Instantly, his lips met yours. It was exhilarating, the kind that made your chest ache. You moaned against his lips as love transpired through his touch. It was overwhelming and the first happy tears of the day streamed down your temples as you arched yourself against him.

"I'm so weak for you, fuck" Bucky groaned, his right arm reaching around your back and pressing you against his chest. "You're everything" he added as he kissed his way along your neck, "I'm all yours forever, Y/n. I love you too much"

"I'm here, baby" you moaned, hiding your face into his shoulder, "You're mine, Bucky. All mine."

His lips didn't leave your body as he pushed himself up just enough to be able to reach the buckle of his jeans. The sound made your core ache, and your mouth watered.

There was no patience in his movements. He barely pulled his jeans down to his knees before ridding you of your pajama pants. He lodged himself between your thighs, his mouth instantly back on yours again.

"Come on" you panted, steading your arms against his strong back. Your legs found their way around his frame, ready to pull him closer.

When Bucky guided his hands between your bodies to align the tip of his cock with your opening, you whimpered in anticipation. Agonisingly slow, he trailed his tip along your folds before reaching your clit. With a blissful moan, he reached further up, tapping his cock against your bare cunt a couple of times before returning his attention back to you. 

"I got you, baby" he hummed, pecking your lips. "You ready? Is this ok?"

With eagerness, you nodded and wiggled under his weight, your pussy aching for him. "Yes, yes"

When you felt his cock push past your folds, you moaned out loud, your voice cracking with the pure pleasure that took over your being.

He eased himself in, going all the way until he all but knocked the breath out of you, and he stopped. Bucky reached down to kiss you again, his cock motionless, balls deep inside of you.

He bit down on your lip and you giggled.

"Felt your pussy clench around me, doll" he laughed, "You're good to me"

"You may be all mine, Buck, but I'm all yours too"

"Holy shit" he panted, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if you weren't real. He'd have pinched himself, but if this was a dream, he really did not want to wake up. So he kept going.

Nibbling at the skin of your neck, he started to pull himself out of you. The slow pace was driving you insane. Your need grew so strong you felt everything. His breath, the way his hair tickled your chin, his strong around around your shoulders, his massive thighs rubbing against yours, every small vein along his cock that drove you closer and closer to the sweetest bliss you had ever known. 

He got you all worked up at an agonisingly slow pace, before his thrusts became more and more aggravated. You moaned with each thrust despite your struggles to keep quiet.

"You know how much I love hearing you, doll" Bucky shook his head as he drove himself back inside of you all the way, "Moan for me"

"Fuck, ok" you gasped, and closed your eyes as you started to fall apart. You gripped the bed sheets into your hands and pulled as he kept fucking you, deep and hard.

"You're so good, baby" he groaned, "So, so good for me"

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, fervently sucking deep, maroon marks all ice your skin. Gutural grounds betrayed his air of self control as a plethora of curse words escaped his lips. "Taking me so fucking well. I can't keep going like this, you're too fucking tight-"

"Cum, baby" you encouraged, voice low and tender as you spoke against his ear, "Cum for me"

"Don’t have to tell me twice" he chuckled.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and irregular, as his eyes flew closed. You missed the blue of his eyes, but his mouth was slightly agape as he panted his way to an orgasm.

His chest heaved against yours, "How do you feel so fucking good?" Bucky cursed, eyes still closed as he barely managed to mumble his words between the numerous grunts of pleasure that forced their way out of his throat.

You gave him no answer, instead just clung to him tighter, "Fuck, Bucky, I'm close-"

"Come on" he encouraged, hurrying to rub your clit. His fingers found your bud in an instant, working experienced, familiar circles that almost drove you over the edge. "Cum with me, ok?"

You nodded, gathering your lips between your teeth. He kept fucking you, harder and faster until he had turn limp under his weight. You came as his name rolled off your lips, and he followed seconds after, pumping his juices deep inside your pussy. 

You felt his absolute pleasure as he breathed heavily against your shoulder. He kept going until you were both spent, and then fell down beside you. 

"Bucky-" you whined, turning over and curling into his side, the lack of contact making you more needy than ever.

"Yes, darling?" he panted, tapping your chin.

"Nothing. I just love you"

"Love you too, doll" he huffed, spinning you around so you laid on your back.

He effortlessly helped you out of your shirt and plopped down on top of you, his head resting on your bare chest. His warm, right hand cupped your breast as he closed his eyes. He wrapped himself around you, "Hold me" he muttered, "please"

"Always, Bucky" you said, engulfing him in the tightest hold you could muster. Only then did you feel him calm down completely, and there was nothing in the world you could ever ask for.

-

If you liked it, please reblog and tell me what you thought? :)

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

Hey~~ could you write Annie x reader? What I had in mind was towards the end of s1 when Annie was trying to climb up the wall, could she try and take reader with her because they always talked about being together? Kinda like when Ymir took Historia in s2, and I really love your writings 💕 thanks~

TAsdfhjksfadh you didn’t specify whether Annie made it over the wall with the reader or not so uh I just kinda picked one lol hope you don’t mind

Also, sorry this is a little late, I've been feeling just a little sick for the past couple of days.

Prove It

(Annie Leonhart x Reader)

AU: Canon

Warnings: Season 3 spoilers

Category: Mostly angst, little fluff

Summary: When Annie was outed as the Female Titan, she didn’t have a lot of options on where to go. And, as the fight between her and Eren progresses, it becomes clear her best option is to flee. Yet, there’s just one thing she can’t leave without. And it seems the feeling’s mutual.

Words: 3.1K

That wicked laughter.

It rung through the empty streets of Stohess, abandoned specifically for this military operation.

The goal? To lure out the suspected Female Titan, Annie Leonhart. Your girlfriend.

At first, you were violently against participating in the operation. You weren’t going to incriminate her, that would be incredibly faithless. Really, you wanted nothing more than for her to be vindicated, and to prove the the world the the “heartless” Annie Leonhart is a loyal soldier, not the traitorous snake they started to make of her.

It got in your head, most certainly. Within hours of the first discussion, ‘Annie Leonhart’ and ‘Female Titan’ had become synonymous with each other, and you hated every bit of it. You always defended her fiercely, because you could only hear so much distasteful talk towards her before you started to broil over with rage.

So, you agreed. You were going to lure Annie down in to the tunnel and prove once and for all that she wasn’t a monster. You could clear her of suspicion, and the two of you would go back to your ordinary lives with each other.

And oh, if only that was what happened.

But you watched in horror as Annie refused to go down the tunnel. She laughed, laughed, when you pleaded with her to follow you, that all she needed to do was come along with you to be unshackled from the scrutiny and doubt.

But her feet remained planted in her rigid stance of defense.

“Y/n...” She slurred out, laughter finally subsiding. “I’m glad I could be a good person to you.”

The slope of fear seemed to lose it’s steadiness, and the drop-off into the pit of empty horror occurred when she held up her hand to her mouth, preparing herself for the bloodshed to follow.

“You’ve won your bet. But this is where my bet begins...!”

The signal flare fired, and the countless soldiers waiting in ambush jumped from all angles. You watched, wide-eyed and frozen, as they restrained her and gagged her, like muzzling a dog. But, it was no use. Her ring, the silver ring she never let you touch, sprung up a spike out of it’s side, and a quick slide of her thumb across the tip opened up a bloody gash in her finger.

And then came the lightning.

Mikasa had thrown her arms around you and Armin, dragging you down into the tunnel to get out of harm’s way of the transformation.

You knew she had finished her transformation when the thundering stopped, and chunks of debris rolled to a stop at your feet, stirred dust slowly settling itself back onto the stone ground. For a moment, everything stilled, and only the ragged breaths of Armin and the sheathing of Mikasa’s blades were audible.

And then something moved.

You weren’t sure what it was, until around the corner, the light was consumed by a large shadow, growing closer and closer and absorbing more of the sunlight until it rounded the corner.

A fingertip. Then the finger. Then the hand. An arm—and it was traveling down the hallway, fingers frozen in a pose as if it were trying to grab onto something, something it couldn’t see.

“Shit!” You let out a terrified yelp and took off running, Mikasa hot on your tail and Armin stumbling closely behind.

It sought after the three of you, until a distant thump could be heard. You whipped your head around and stopped running, noticing the hand—ever present, it’s finger stretched desperately in an attempt at grabbing something, but it was no use. You caught a glance of it’s upper arm, flush against the wall of the curve.

She couldn’t reach any farther.

You let out of a sigh of relief, falling to your knees and gazing at it. It’s shaking fingers stopped, finally, and went limp into it’s palm in defeat, before slowly pulling itself out. You had no clue whether it was trying to grab you, or Armin, or Mikasa, or if it was planning on killing you or not. Bottom line, it was unsuccessful.

But then more thunder.

It seems Eren finally got his cue, because the signature yellow hues of transformation shone even into the dark abyss of the wrecked tunnel.

The three of you took a deep breath and shared a collective glance. Before long, the unsaid instructions were followed, and the three of you scurried out of the tunnel to witness the action.

And action it was—the first sight you were greeted with upon exiting was that of Annie delivering a decisive punch to Eren’s jaw, sending him flying backwards into the streets of Stohess.

Eren returned to his feet as fast as he could, and let out a menacing roar as he charged at Annie, arms low like a football player preparing to pounce on something.

He charged, but her feet remained planted, arms bracing for impact.

You watched as the two of them brawled furiously. You didn’t even notice that Mikasa and Armin had left your side—you hadn’t moved. You couldn’t find it in your heart to fight Annie, but neither were you going to fight Eren. No, all you could do was watch, helpless.

The battle continued fiercely, absolutely wrecking the city in the process. Building were destroyed and crumpled, streets of stone completely upended as one or the other got helplessly tossed around.

It came to a head as the fight eventually progressed to a wide, open space of stone, and the two of them were fighting hand to hand, both of them looking worse for wear. You shot your ODM gear into the roof of a nearby building, watching the fight with a slacked jaw. You had no clue how Eren was even standing a chance to Annie, since you yourself had seen how skilled she was in martial arts.

Soon, though, a decisive kick to Annie shin sent debris and rocks flying everywhere. Annie lost her footing, tumbling to the ground with a thump.

And you had been so fixated on Annie in that moment that you failed to notice the debris, and it was headed right towards your face.

Something—rigid and powerful—collided with your head, and you fell to the ground instantly.

Your vision was already fading, and you watched as tiny streams of crimson flowed over the shingles and down the roof—no doubt stemming from the newly opened gash on your scalp.

The distant clinking of the rock as it tumbled down the slope of the roof was the last thing you heard, and the world around you faded to black.

---

Through the darkness, a memory flashed through your mind.

---

It was dark out, of course it was. Shadis would never let you have leisure time at all when the sun was up.

You leaned against an lone oak tree, fingers brushing through the soft grass idly. The air was cold and crisp, and a soft breeze flowed through the air, just barely enough to rustle your soft hair.

Annie sat silently next to you, shoulder brushing up against yours. Slowly, she slinked her hand over yours, hesitantly grasping at your hand. You entwined your fingers with hers, and she looked away shyly.

She often had bouts of insomnia, lying awake at night for hours, unable to get her body to relax. And, the first night she tugged at your nightshirt, waking you up to go outside with her, she fell asleep in your arms due to exhaustion almost immediately.

So, it had become an unspoken ritual from that day on. She couldn’t sleep, she’d wake you up, the two of you would go outside, and talk or busy yourselves until sleep inevitably caught up to her.

But today was different. For whatever reason, something had been keeping her up for a lot longer than usual. You knew something was weighing down on her heavily, but you weren’t going to pry it out of her.

Deciding to break the tense silence, you squeezed her hand gently, getting her attention before you spoke.

“It’s nice out, isn’t it?” You observed. You weren’t talking about the weather per-say, but the thousands of white speckled stars that dotted the sky, and the bright, full moon that illuminated the grass and dirt beneath you.

“It’s cold.” She said bluntly.

You chuckled softly, her bleak attitude was so characteristic of her.

“I guess that’s true.”

More silence.

And then she sighed, bringing your hand into her lap to cusp it in both of her palms, clinging onto it as if it were grounding her.

“What do you plan on doing later in life, Y/n?” She huffed, leaning her head backwards against the back of the tree and gazing up at the sky. “You don’t possibly plan on staying in the military your whole life, do you?”

“No, of course not.” You sighed.

“Then do you have plans afterwards?”

You paused for a minute. She raised a good point, you didn’t really think of anything after the military. Deep down, perhaps you understood that by joining the Cadet Corps you didn’t have much ahead of you. You can only survive so many brushes with death before it’s your turn to go.

“I guess not...” You hesitated, deep in thought. You swallowed a lump in your throat before changing the subject. “Why, do you?”

Even through the darkness, you could feel the shrug of her shoulders against you.

“Not really.” She muttered. “Just... stay with the MPs, make a living wage, retire somewhere in the interior, and... relax. I just wanna... find somewhere to relax.”

She paused for a second. Clearly there’s something tugging at her mind, something she wants to say. So, you sit back and wait for her to find the confidence.

“Do you promise me that... sometime, after a while in the Scouts, that you’ll come back to be with me?”

The future between the two of you was always painted with uncertainty—whether the two of you could ever truly stay together. It would be difficult, between soldiers, to be able to settle down and stay together no matter what, especially from different regiments. But you could always try.

She exhaled shakily, struggling to get the words out of her throat.

“I just can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you. ‘Cause... if anything ever happened to you in the Scouts...” Her voice trailed off near the end, and you assumed she was trying to plan out her next words carefully, until you heard a small sniffle pass her lips.

Surprised, you turned to face her. She was trying to fight off the tears at the corners of her eyes, lip trembling as she struggled not to cry. It wasn’t until now that you realized just how tightly she gripped your hand.

“Annie- Annie it’s alright.” You stumbled, trying to comfort her. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was upsetting her—she was scared of living a life without you.

You hooked an arm around her lower back, pulling her closer to you and putting your other hand on the back of her head and guiding her to your shoulder.

“I promise you, no matter what, I’ll live. And one day, we can spend all our time together. I’ll go wherever you go, I swear.” You ran your hand through her hair, undoing the bun she kept it in and evening it out over her shoulders.

“You promise?” Her voice sounded shaky and weak, a vulnerability to it that she rarely showed. “No matter what happens to me, you’ll trust me and stay with me?”

“I promise. Of course I do.”

---

Warmth.

It was the first thing you noticed upon waking up. The second was darkness. You sat up, noticing how wet the surface beneath you was. And how how fleshy.

Your face paled in realization. You were in a titan's mouth.

You raised your arm up, cringing at the trail of saliva that connected you to her tongue.

Immediately, you searched for a way to get out. You didn't plan on leaving her behind, but you'd rather not be stuck in a place as slimy and dark as this either. However, your efforts were pointless, since her jaw was clamped shut, her teeth caging you in and preventing you from escaping. Your heart dropped a little, wondering if she didn't trust you not to run away.

Suddenly, you felt a large thump, the unexpected movement causing you to grab desperately at anything that would keep you grounded in one spot.

But then, another thump. And another, and another. It felt like running, almost, but far too slow. You pondered it for a moment, before you realized what was going on.

She was trying to climb the wall.

But then, the thumping stopped. She wasn't falling, thank god, but all movement has seized.

Hesitantly, her jaw started to open, giving ample space for you to squeeze through. A sudden thought came to you—she needed your help.

With no hesitation, you drew your blades and burst through the skin of her cheek, not even waiting for her to part for lips. Adrenaline pumping through your veins, you immediately search for the source of the problem. And you found it in the brute of a soldier, Mikasa Ackerman.

The girl was perched on Annie's nose, staring down at her. A quick glance to your side and you realized, with horror written all over your face, that Mikasa had cut off almost all of Annie's fingers—one more and Annie would easily lose her grip.

You understood, as soon as Mikasa drew her blades towards Annie's hand, you only had one option.

You shot your ODM gear towards her, not even caring when the hook dug into Mikasa's shoulder, causing her to yelp in pain as she turned to you.

She wasn't even given a moment to process as you came hurtling towards her, colliding with her shoulder and sending both of you flying through the air and towards the ground—fast.

Despite the small voice telling you that it would be easier to just ditch Mikasa, to release your ODM gear and let her fall, you shot the other hook into the wall, and your momentum halted to a stop.

She peeled her arms away from their protective guard around her head, processing that the two of you had stopped before looking up to you in surprise. You looked back down at her, an expression of sorrow in your eyes. It hurt you to betray her, and all of your comrades, like this, but you knew as soon as Annie placed her trust in you by opening her mouth that you only had one choice.

"Y/n what are y—!"

"I'm sorry Mikasa!" You yelled, trying to put aside your emotions for the time being. "I can't... I can't leave her, I promised I wouldn't!"

You took a deep breath, positioning on your finger on the trigger, preparing to release Mikasa from your ODM gear's bloody grip in her shoulder. "I'm sorry..." You muttered, before pulling the trigger, watching Mikasa tumbled towards the ground, her betrayed expression still glued helplessly on her face.

You decided that it would only hurt you to look at Mikasa—engraining that image into your head would certainly plague you later on.

You finally turned to look back at Annie, and your heart picked up a couple paces at the sight.

Her head was turned to you, watching—waiting—for you, her hand outstretched in your direction. You smiled, firing your ODM and flying into the palm of her hand, quickly climbing up onto her shoulder to allow her to finish her ascent up the wall.

You turned back one last time, looking over at the destroyed city, and the furious and betrayed faces of your comrades. You sighed, turning back around. That's in the past now, you thought. It doesn't matter. I... made a promise to Annie, I can't betray her. I can't...

---

The line of trees in the distance grew closer and closer as Annie jogged forwards, having made it over the wall and all the way to the forest inside Wall Maria.

She slowed down to a walking pace as she neared the trees, kneeling on the ground before releasing herself from the nape of her titan. Steam flowed from her body as she immediately collapsed forwards, and you instantly lurched forwards to catch her exhausted body in your arms.

"Grab on." You instructed, waiting for her to securely wrap herself around you before you flew through the air and onto a tree branch, making sure you were safely out of the reach of any mindless titans before you let go of her.

She took a deep breath, leaning against the wooden trunk of the tree to recollect her strength. After all, even as a titan, the fight had done numbers to her body.

You sat there in comfortable silence for a little bit, waiting for her to catch her breath while you idly readjusted the straps to your ODM gear.

Finally, she reached over to take your hand, grabbing it in both of hers just like she had during your conversation with her years ago.

"I'm so glad..." She sighed, voice weak and wavering. "I was so scared when I opened my mouth that you would just... run off without me."

Slowly, she shifted, wrapping her arms around your neck and leaning her entire body weight on you. You could feel some of the tension leaving her body as she sighed against you, burying her nose in the crook of your neck.

"I was terrified that if you found out my real identity, you would just leave me. I don't know how I would've handled it. I was just..." She took a shaky inhale as she continued, and you felt a few wet tears against your neck. "Scared. So... So scared..."

You set a comforting hand on her back, hugging her tighter in an attempt to sooth her.

"Annie..." You cooed in her ear. "I promised you, remember? I would never leave your side. I'm gonna stay with you for the rest of my life."

Her breathing started to calm against you, your words managing to ease her worries.

"Yeah," She sighed, pulling away from you. "I shouldn't have doubted you, sweetie."

You smiled and placed your hands on her shoulders, bringing her in for a quick kiss before wiping her tears with the back of your hand.

"It's fine. Just remember," You leaned in and hugged her, exuding a warm feeling that made Annie's heart swell with love. "I'll always be on your side, no matter what."

"God, I love you so much, you dork." She muttered, heat rising to her cheeks with a content smile.

You chuckled, "I love you, too."

MAN THIS IS ASS

This is what happens when you force yourself to write with a headache whoops haha

[wintervvidow]

apricity pt. two

apricity - the warmth of the sun in winter

warnings: angst, blood, violence,

pairing: bucky barnes x female oc

word count: 2,956

A/N: part two is here! I did unintentionally rush through this chapter because I am so excited to start the civil war segment of this story. feedback is welcomed, let me know how you are liking it! thank you for reading!

MASTERLIST

Bucky’s cheek stung after the third slap from Pierce, the flesh bright red and warm to the touch. He continued fighting his restraints as he had been for the past hour. He had just been wiped, HYDRA needed to start fresh. Sweat trickled from his hairline to his jugular as he yanked and squirmed in the chair.

Alexander lost his patience an hour ago, Bucky hadn’t stopped talking about the girl on the bridge, “She doesn’t love you! If she did, she would have come back for you. We’re trying to correct the world, and we need you to do that. You want to be useful, don’t you?”

Bucky stared ahead emotionless, ignoring Pierce’s words. She loved him. Her eyes told him so, the look on her face from the bridge continued to haunt him even after being reprogrammed. He knew her. She was good. She was home.

A hand came down against Bucky's face again, harder than the last, “You are an asset. She is what we are fighting against. The world deserves freedom and that is what HYDRA is doing. You don’t do your part and I can’t do mine.”

Bucky softly murmured, voice raw from screaming, “But I knew her.”

Alexander clenched his fist as he stood from his chair placed in front of Bucky, “Wipe him again.”

Soon the air was filled with Bucky’s screams again, torturous and raw. Brock Rumlow looked on in silence, taking in the sight before him. This, he could work with.

~

The team consisting of Florence, Steve, Natasha, Sam, Maria, and Fury were littered throughout the vacant underground room, lights dim and the air heavy with stale humidity. Steve and Sam stood while the remaining few were seated at a long conference table. Fury had documents scattered in front of him, Maria with a laptop, typing away intently.

Fury held an image of Pierce from the ’80s in his hand, “This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said peace wasn’t an achievement, it was a responsibility.” Fury threw the picture onto the table, “See, it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues.”

Natasha speaks from her chair next to her fellow redheaded friend, a solemn expression on her face, “We have to stop the launch.” Alexander was planning on using Project Insight, which consisted of three helicarriers that patrolled the Earth to eliminate threats, deployed after the Battle of New York, only this time it was being planned to be used as a way for HYDRA to eliminate any threats to themselves. The operation was now turned against them.

Fury looked at Natasha with an eyebrow raised, “I don’t think the Council’s accepting my calls anymore.” He flipped open a briefcase, revealing three data chips.

Behind Florence, Sam spoke with arms crossed tightly over his chest, “What’s that?”

Maria flipped her laptop around, showing the team a diagram of data, “Once the helicarriers reach 3,000 feet, they’ll triangulate with Insight satellites, becoming fully weaponized.”

“We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own.” Fury gestured to the case in front of him.

Maria flipped her laptop back around, “One or two won’t cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work because if even one of those ships remains operational, a whole lot of people are gonna die.” The entire team grimaced.

All eyes were on Fury as he spoke, “We have to assume everyone on those carriers is HYDRA. We have to get past them, insert these server blades. And maybe, just maybe we can salvage what’s left.”

Florence and Steve shared a look, Florence knew Steve wouldn’t let that happen, “We’re not salvaging anything. We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick. We’re taking down S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Fury snapped back at Steve, “S.H.I.E.L.D. had nothing to do with this.”

“You gave me this mission, this is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s been compromised. You said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose and nobody noticed.” Steve’s face was set, his entire body taking on the posture of command.

Fury gestured around the room with his hands before setting them back on the table, “Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed.”

Steve’s face remained cold, “How many paid the price before you did?” Florence read between the lines, she knew what he was asking and it felt like a punch to the gut.

Fury bowed his head as Florence looked away, “Look, I didn’t know about Barnes.” No one did.

Steve scoffed, “Even if you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? Like Florence.”

“Hey, she did what she had to. You did not go through what she did.” Florence looked to Fury with kindness in her tired eyes, silently thanking him.

Steve interrupted the tender moment, continuing his speech, “S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA, it all goes.”

“He’s right. It all has to go.” All eyes darted to Maria, a silent understanding that Steve was right. This was the beginning of the end.

Fury looks around, eyes landing on Sam, “Don’t look at me.” Sam nods his head to Steve, “I do what he does, just slower.”

Steve stood at the head of the table, staring at Fury as he leaned back in his chair, “Looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain.”

The team was given their tasks, parting their separate ways before the mission.

Florence found Steve outside, standing on the bridge lost in thought.

Florence sided up next to him, “Hey, I know you probably hate me right now, but-”

Steve cut her off, turning to face her, “I don’t hate you. I don’t. I’m just struggling to wrap my head around the fact that he’s been alive this entire time and you haven’t told one person. Not even me.”

“Steve, I tried. After I ran, I tried to go back for him but he wouldn’t let me; told me to run and to never come back for him. So I had to go into hiding. Seventeen years Steve. It’s not like I could walk into a government building and tell them without HYDRA catching wind. Hell, I could have been walking straight back into HYDRA. You have to understand that everything I��ve done has been to protect him. Everything.” By the end of the redheads’ speech, she was choking back tears, hands trembling at her sides. She bit her lip to quell the emotions running through her.

Steve placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Silence fell over the two friends as both reminisced on the past, staring off into space.

Flashback:

Florence climbed the stairs behind Bucky and Steve to Steve’s family home. The mood was somber, Florence’s black funeral dress grazing her ankles as she stepped up the last step, standing next to Bucky.

“We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.” Bucky’s tone was soft as he spoke to the heartbroken Steve.

“I know. Kinda wanted to be alone.” Steve stared at the ground as he spoke, never making eye contact with either Florence or Bucky.

Florence cocked her head to one side, gaze softly inquisitive as she looked at the small-statured man in front of her, “How was it?”

“It was okay. She’s next to dad.” The blonde’s tone was monotonous and quiet, understandably so.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “I was gonna ask-”

Steve cut him off as he reached his front door, hands fumbling in his pocket for the key, “I know what you’re gonna say, Buck, I just-”

“You can put the couch cushions on the floor, like when we were kids. It’ll be fun, all you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.” Bucky reached down to move a brick, grabbing the key to the door and handing it to Steve, “Come on.”

Steve took the key, finally looking him in the eye, “Thank you, Buck. But I can get by on my own.”

Florence looked to Bucky, silently telling him to comfort their friend. Bucky nodded, speaking again, “The thing is, you don’t have to.” Bucky’s large hand clapped Steve on the shoulder, “Cuz me and Florence? We’re with you till the end of the line, pal.”

The moment was broken up by Sam, approaching the two old friends, “He’s gonna be there you know.”

“We know.” Both Steve and Florence were painfully aware of that fact.

“Look, whoever he used to be and the guy he is now, I don’t think he’s the kind you save. He’s the kind you stop.”

Steve looked to Sam, “I don’t know if I can do that.” Florence knew she couldn’t. Everything she has ever done, Bucky has always crossed her mind- how to help him, save him, protect him; always concerned about his well-being. And now she was forced to go against him.

“Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn’t know either of you.” Sam twisted the knife with his last sentence, Florence and Steve grimacing at one another.

Steve spoke, looking at Florence for a last time then at Sam, “He will.” The blonde looked over the bridge, “Gear up. It’s time.”

The team changed into their gear and split up to where they were appointed: Natasha infiltrating a meeting with Alexander as a congresswoman with Fury as backup and releasing all HYDRA files, Maria preparing to order the attack to bring down the helicarriers, and Steve, Sam, and Florence to board the helicarrier to replace the targeting blades.

Sam called out to Steve as he walked away, "Wearing that?"

“No. If you’re gonna fight a war, you have to wear a uniform.”

~

Florence ran through the ship deck as fast as she could, doing her best to not get shot. Her earpiece kept her up to date, Natasha had just started releasing all of the files; her and Natasha’s secrets were now public along with the rest of HYDRA’s. Steve had already made it to the helicarrier, the redhead had gotten caught up with a HYDRA agent on the ground.

Florence was late to the party, Steve, and Bucky already furiously exchanging punches. She got to the top of the carrier as fast as she could with the help of Sam, her feet moving without thought. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Sam deploy his parachute after being kicked off by Bucky, now he was grounded.

Steve and Florence were on opposite ends of the carrier, Florence quickly making her way toward the two men.

Bucky threw Steve off of the top-level, Steve landing below with a thud, shield long gone in the Potomac beneath them.

Florence stared ahead, Bucky finally noticing her arrival. Both looked at the other in silence, gauging the situation at hand. His eyes were void of all emotion, this was not Bucky. The Soldier had a mission to kill her and Steve. Florence had a mission to keep Bucky alive, no matter the cost. If he was alive that meant there was hope to save him. You can’t save a dead man.

The silence was erupted by Florence, her mouth moving before her brain could stop, "Bucky, don't do this. You don't have to do this."

Tears welled up in her eyes unwillingly, the dam threatening to burst. Even if she knew deep down that he had been alive this entire time, a sliver of her always thought he was dead. Maybe her subconscious came up with that thought to protect herself, to make herself feel better about not being able to get him out. And she did try to get him out; she tried like hell. The first five years of her seventeen-year stint of being on the run was the worst. She was constantly moving locations, barely sleeping. And when she did sleep, she dreamt of Bucky- he was always screaming at her to go, save herself, and leave him behind. That was a detail that she would never tell Steve; if they even made it out alive of this situation. Steve wouldn’t understand, he was too stuck in his ways, he would have tried to get him out anyway. He would disregard any command in order to save Bucky even if the demand came straight from Bucky’s mouth. He would never truly understand why Florence did what she did. Maybe it was better that way.

He furrows his brow, lines etching themselves between his steel-blue eyes, "You're my mission."

A single breath is taken before he swings at her, metal arm glinting in the light as she dodges his punch, sweeping under his outstretched arm. She wasn't going to fight back. She couldn't.

Bucky turns violently, eyes hard, set on her. He lunges again as her weapon clatters to the ground of the helicarrier. Now Florence was defenseless. Although it's not like she was fighting back anyway. She'd let him kill her. If that kept him alive, she'd do it. It's not like he remembers her anyway, you can't mourn a person you don't remember.

She takes three steps back, her back colliding with the wall behind her as Bucky stalks forward. His breath fans across her face as he stands in front of her. She notices a stall in his motions, practically seeing his brain malfunction. His head was fighting with his heart.

A fist flies next to her head, Bucky purposely missing as he punches the wall again. His face twisted in pain, he was fighting himself. He couldn't do this. He knew her. His body knew her, pieces of memories played through his brain as he continued to punch the wall, a ring, her hand in his, dog tags being placed around her neck, all of it hurt. Florence was frozen in place as Bucky's fists continued flying next to her, "Go! You need to go!"

He remembered her.

Just as Steve ordered Maria to fire at the carrier, Bucky shoved Florence, causing her to tumble over the edge, joining Steve at the bottom of the carrier as it went up in flames. The carrier was under fire from all sides, jostling violently, causing Bucky to fall along with her. He landed away from Florence and Steve, being pinned under the debris.

Steve got to his feet, swaying as he stumbled over to Bucky who was struggling under the weight of the metal beam. Steve wedged the beam up, freeing Bucky. The girl remained on the ground, curling into a ball from the pain of the impact of the fall.

Florence rose to her feet as Steve told Bucky that he knew them. Bucky’s metal arm reeled back, punching Steve in the face as he screamed, “No I don’t!”

“Buck, we’ve known you your whole life.” Florence’s voice trembled as he hit Steve again, effectively knocking him to the ground.

Steve stood again, “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

Bucky punched Steve in the face for a final time, the force knocking him off the carrier and into the river below. Florence scrambled to stand in front of Bucky, making him really look at her. To truly see her, to see what he was doing. Her face was bleeding, soot smudged across her forehead, sweat mixing with tears and blood flowing down her face.

“I’m not gonna fight you. I love you.” Florence’s body shook with sobs as Bucky tackled her to the ground.

His frame towered over hers, his body heaving as he spoke, “You’re my mission.” His fist flew next to her head, once, twice; never actually hitting her. Florence could see the struggle in his eyes. He was a broken man without a home.

“You don’t love me. You left me!” Bucky’s fist continued flying next to Florence’s head, the plexiglass cracking. Pierce’s words looped in his mind, she didn’t love him. She left him. She abandoned him. She was his mission.

Florence took a heaving breath in, “Yes I do, I do love you. I tried to get you out, I did, you wouldn’t let me, I tried, I-” Bucky interrupted her by pressing his flesh hand against her throat and applying pressure.

He leaned down, only inches between their faces as he applied more pressure around her throat and choking her. He grit his teeth as he choked her harder, brunette hair dangling in his face. This was it. This was Florence’s last chance, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I love you, it’s okay.” If these were the last words Bucky would ever hear from her, she was okay with that. She needed him to know that it was okay. He was doing what he had been forced to do, it wasn’t him. She needed him to know that she understood.

The hand from her throat disappeared, Bucky leaning back above her, staring at her with glassy eyes. Florence struggled for breath as she watched Bucky process her words. Debris fell around them, Bucky hovering over her to protect her from the falling particles. A large engine fell next to them, shattering the glass and sending Florence falling straight into the Potomac, Bucky hanging onto the carrier from a beam as he watched his lover fall into the water below.

Bucky dragged Steve out of the water with his metal arm while the other balanced Florence against his shoulder, ignoring the burning pain of his flesh arm as her head rested on his neck. He placed the two unconscious Avengers on the riverbank, taking one last look at them before he disappeared, becoming a ghost yet again.

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED. IF YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE REBLOG!

taglist: @tanyaherondale   @lilyviolets   @jckie94

[noisyalmonddreamer]

Holiday special

Word count: Idk a lot  (a/n): Someone come save me I’m tired this took my soul away this is also unedited because I’m to tired for that

Percy:

-This boy LOVES Christmas

-He get's into the feeling like right after thanksgiving

-Decorates his cabin like there's no tomorrow

-But he wont spend Christmas eve or day at camp, he's with his family

-He also goes to his family's house to help decorate

-Snowball fights? you will not BELIVE how excited he gets for them

-He loves hot chocolate and demands his has marshmallows in it

-be careful if you guys make cookies together he WILL eat the batter

-"Percy stop you could get sick!"

- "but it's so good!"

-"IT HAS RAW EGGS"

-he wears Christmas sweaters and Santa hats

-He invites you to come to his mom's house for Christmas

-On Christmas day itself he's supper excited but from how he was acting you'd think he was an actual responsible adult

-but really he just really wanted to make it special for Estelle so he was just being giddy on the inside

-He gets you something that would remind him of you

-Something he finds beautiful

~~~Scenario~~~  (lowkey feel like I wrote him out of character I'm really sorry)

The sounds of soft snores filled your ears as you woke up. The sun reflecting off the bright snow seemed to magnify the sun's rays. You turned over to see your boyfriend, Percy, sound asleep with a little bit of drool sliding past his lip. You giggled as you took the blue blanket and wiped it away causing him to stir a little.

"Percy, It's time to get up" you nudged him lightly trying to wake him. He groaned pulling the cover up more. You rolled your eyes before an idea came to mind "Percy wake up it's Christmas."

The gears in Percy's head seemed to move for a second before his eye's popped open "OH MY GOD'S IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He popped up from his position. You smiled before leaning over and kissing him on his cheek "yeah it is, now you might want to put a shirt on before-" your sentence was cut of as Percy looked at the window.

"Oh my God's (y/n) look it snowed!" he got up from the bed and excitedly went to the window pretty much vibrating from excitement. He looked like a little kid, his eyes shining bright and a giddy smile on his face "I know Perce" you laughed as he pouted at your comment "As I was saying you might want to put on a shirt before Estelle comes in."

Percy laughed and threw on a sweatshirt before climbing back into bed with you "what are you doing?" He looked at you and smiled "pretended you're asleep she'll want to have woken us up." He kissed your head and laid back down.

Percy was, of course, right. Moments later you heard two little feet barreling down the hallway and tiny squeals of excitement. The door opened and a little girl hopped onto the bed trying to wake the two of you up "GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!"

Estelle shook the two of 'awake' and you yawned "good morning Estelle. What can we do for you." You smiled at her as the little girl squealed with excitement. "It's Christmas! Mama and Papa said we couldn't open present's till you two woke up! Percy Percy get up!"

Estelle dragged the two of you out of bed into the living room where Sally and Paul had hot coco waiting. You sat on Percy's lap as you watched as Estelle rip open her presents, along with handing everyone there's "here Percy this is yours and this one's yours (y/n)!"

Percy smiled at her and ripped open the present, quickly, ones he saw what it was his eyes brightened as another big grin decorated his face.

After opening all the presents up Paul, Sally and Estelle went down the hall for a few minutes so Estelle could give a present to her friend.

Percy pulled you into his room and got something from inside his cabinet. He handed you a small box rapped in blue rapping paper. "I know I already got you a present but I went out swimming a while ago and found this and I thought of you" he rubbed the back of his neck as he blushed.

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek before opening the present. You pulled out a necklace that looked similar to your camp necklace except it had a single pearl on it. You smiled and wrapped your arm's around him, pressing your lips to his, you were met with the slightly salty taste of his lips. He smiled into the kiss as he pulled away for a second "so you like it?" he asked looking at you.

"I love it thank you Perce"

"Merry Christmas (Y/n)"

"Merry Christmas Percy"

Jason:

-Again he hasn't had a 'real' Christmas in a while

-Mr. Series Roman Praetor  has watched over people for Christmas making sure no one get's to out of hand

-My boy hasn't gotten to have fun for so long

-So when you're like

-"TIME FOR FUN CHRISTMAS"

-He's trying hard! But that series 'gotten make sure things are running smooth' skin is hard to get out

- "Don't drink to much eggnog it has raw eggs you could get sick. Don't have more than a cup please"

- "FIGHT ME"

-I'm kinda kidding but he is kinda stiff about it all

-Sidenote: Someone *cough* Leo *cough* placed a mistletoe above his desk and put a stapler next to him so he was under the mistletoe with a stapler

- "You think you're so funny huh?"

- "Pretty much yeah"

- "It was pretty funny though"

- "(Y/N)!"

-I have said that I think he has a secret sweet tooth

-He drinks his hot coco super sweet

-No one can know though

-Except you maybe

-He decorates a tree with you

-straight up gets tangled in the lights while you guys are decorating

-Send some help for our very own blond super man

-He'll also probably get you something he had found during a quest

~~~Scenario~~~

You placed two steaming mugs of hot Chocolate on a side table. They looked quite nice, if you say so yourself, you had added chocolate shavings atop the whip cream and crushed up peppermint canes.

Looking up you were met with electric blue eyes looking at you intently, holding a Santa hat in his scarred callused hands.

"Do I really have to wear this?" He asked holding out the bright red hat. "Yes of course you do! We're decorating!"

He looked down at you again. "Okay okay I'll wear the hat sweetie but why the entire cabin? We already have a tree do you think decorating the whole cabin is.... excessive?" You rolled your eyes at him "I don't expect you have had that many fun Christmases because you're so,,, Roman so you have to do it! I didn't make the rules bub!"

You skipped over to him kissing him on the cheek than going over to the box of decorations you forced him to fly to camp half-blood. You also got him to carry a Christmas tree that you got from the Stoles, though they didn't tell you were they got it from.

You opened up the box and pulled out a few blankets and pillows.

"What are those for?" Jason stood behind you taking sips from his hot coco watching you. "Decoration! What do you think we're doing here right now?" You threw the pillows and blankets onto the couch

Jason rolled his eyes, walking up to you "I already have pillows and blankets but whatever." He said, his voice held a teasing tone, he knew what he was doing.

You glared at him "I will take away your hot chocolate and not make anymore." You pointed a finger out, trying to prove your point. Jason's eyes widened before he placed his mug on the coffee table and swiftly walked over to you.

"Alright so what do you need?"

"Just take these." You handed him some fake acorns and stuff, pointing at a wall "Place them like over there."

Jason took them into his hands and began working. About thirty minutes in he tapped you on the shoulder. "What about the tree?" You looked over at him "Oh yeah we do that last just give me a sec and you can start detangling the lights." You pointed at the box that had the Christmas lights.

Jason nodded and walked over to the box, pulling out a giant clump of lights. He looked at it, a bit concerned wondering how he would be able to detangle it all.

~~~time skip~~~

Jason ended up being right, he couldn't untangle them. Every time he thought he had gotten another tangle out it led to another, then when he thought to follow a single cored it was stuck in other cords. This is all to say that in thirty minutes Jason managed to tangle himself in the lights, yet he still didn't ask for help or even call out for you.

He didn't want you laughing at him so he decided he would get himself out. Which also didn't end up well because he fell with a loud thud.

You had went outside to hang a few more lights and decorations on the porch when you head it, a loud thud followed by a groan of pain. You hurried inside to see the son of Zeus himself, Praetor of New Rome, Hero of Camp Jupiter, laying on the floor tangled in Christmas lights.

"It's not funny!" He yelled when he had heard your giggling. This only turned your light giggling into full on laughter you clutched your stomach in pain as you laughed.

"It's so funny! How did you even manage to do that?" He looked up at you "Can you please help me?" You bent down to his level "of course on one condiction"

"Yes anything!"

"Let me take a picture."

Leo:

-Burns the coco because he's impatient

-He also puts candy canes into his hot coco

-Along with like 3 hand fulls of marshmallows and like a giant whip cream mountain

-He also lowkey doesn't like eggnog

- "It tastes like sweet eggs!"

-You can bet your ass he is going to force you to wear matching PJ's on Christmas eve

-While setting up the tree he get's very frustrated with the lights

-"THIS IS SO DUMB I'LL BUILD MY OWN LIGHTS!"

-He does end up doing that and they look very cool

-May or may not end up breaking some of the ornaments

-"What was that?"

- *Sweeping away a broken ornament* "Nothing babe!"

-He makes all his presents himself

-Like 2 months before he's haled ass up in bunker 9 making presents

-At some point he made a Christmas robot

-It's called that but it's main purpose is to peg snowballs at people

-He does bring a Christmas tree inside the bunker but forgets to water it then it catches on fire because it's dried out

-He will also pull mistletoe out at random time's claiming you have to kiss now

- "You just pulled that out of your tool belt. We're not even near ceiling"

- "Hmm? What? I don't know what you're talking about. But time for kiss! Who are we to break tradition?"

-You force him to dress up as an elf and give presents to kids

- "Why not Santa!? I'm making the toys!"

- "You're to short to be Santa plus your pointed ears!"

-He builds you something is that even a question

-It's a charm bracelet with a few different charms, one of them actually is magic and will pull out a shield  

~~~~Scenario~~~~~

You were stood outside bunker 9 on Christmas morning waiting for Leo to change. You shivered as a cold wind felt like it pierced your skin, both Leo and yourself had gotten up earlier then you normally would have but you two wanted to have your own thing before joining the rest of the camp.

You breathed out, a puff of smoke leaving your lips, as you turned around and banged on the door. "Leo come on! We're gonna be late and we still have to drag the presents to the bonfire!" you yelled through the metal. "This is ridiculous! Why am I dressed as an elf! I made the presents! This is humiliating!" His voice sounded whiny, you could practically hear him pouting.

"Come on Leo think about the children! They'll be so happy!" You heard a reluctant sigh leave him before the iron door opened reveling Leo in an adorable elf outfit.

"I feel ridicules." As he walked towards you the bells on his shoes jingled, making you burst out laughing. "Oh you have got to let me take a picture!" You grabbed Leo by the hand and pulled him towards the slay he had built. "Alright Mr. Elf let's go!"

"Don't call me that!" His whiney complains were only halted as you pecked his cheek quickly. "Now if you want more then let's go!" Leo's eyes widened, he grabbed the leads  and rushed towards the bonfire.

~~Time skip. Like only 5 minutes~~

As the slay slowed down to a stop you heard screams, you looked over your shoulder to see most of the younger camps, in their pajamas, running up to the slay with an excited look on their faces.

You looked over at Leo who had a bright smile on his face already grabbed a piece of paper with each kid's names and which toy they got. "You ready?" you whispered over to him, adjusting your hoodie. "Hades yeah I am!"

You hopped off from the slay in front of the kids, they all stopped and looked at you, pretty much vibrating from excitement. "Alright kiddys! Are you ready for your presents?" You question was only answered with shriek's of excitement and maybe one or two 'YES!'s.  

"Mr. Elf has each of your presents all the way from the north pole! But you have to wait to be called on can all of you do that?" The kids again in unison nodded their heads.

Leo popped up next to you startling you a bit, a big dopy grin still decorating his face "Alright I'm looking for a Gogo?" A little girl came running up to Leo, bouncing up and down with a plush in her hand, "Here you are Gogo" Leo handed the little girl a nicely wrapped present, the girl took it before bolting to her siblings yelling out a "THANK YOU!"

One by one Leo listed off the kid's, each one yelling out a thank you, and joining their siblings. As the last kid ran away Leo looked into the present sack. "Oh what do we have here?"

You looked at him with a questioning gaze "Did you forget someone? That was the last kid so I don't think you did." You looked around to see if there was any stragglers before Leo cleared his throat.

"Well why don't we have a looksie here and...Oh...it look's like this is for a certain...(Y/f/n)." You looked over at him again. "I didn't ask for anything..." you trailed off. Before you could say anything else Leo plopped the present into your hands, kissing you on the cheek. "Merry Christmas bebita."

Nico: -"Christmas is coming up?"

-Boy doesn't even realize

-I headcanon Nico secretly has a sweet tooth so I think he would like egg nog and super sweet hot coco

-I also think he can cook so he makes cookies with you

-But he will act like it's a pain and out of his way

-"Do I really have to?"

-"If you don't want to I'll just go get Leo or someone to help me!"

-"...Pass over the flour"

-He constantly has a candy cane in his mouth

-He legit eats so many you have to take them away from him

-Putting a Santa hat will anger him but he'll wear it because he loves you

-Unless someone comments on it then he'll take it off

-He really likes cooking with you, he finds it domestic like you guys are normal, so during the Christmas season he may act reluctant but you guys make stuff together a lot

-But baby boy also kinda has a sensitive mouth so hot food burns his tongue really quickly

-That combined with him kinda being impatient...he burns his mouth a lot

-He asks you to kiss it better

-He would probably get you something he found on his travels

-Or a stygian iron dagger

~~~Scenario~~

You finished tying up your apron, looking over to see Nico hadn't even tried, just letting the apron hang off his neck while he was reading a book he had found in an old library a few weeks ago.

You groaned walking over to him "Nico!" He only hummed in response, bobbing his head and continuing to read. You looked at him for a moment before placing your hand on his shoulder "NICO!"

Nico jumped slightly, looking up from his book at you. "What?" You glared at him for a moment, he rolled his eyes and booked marked the page, placing his arms around your shoulders.

"What's up il mio tesoro*?" He grinned stupidly down at you. "Oh don't 'il mio tesoro' me Mr! You're just avoiding what we said we would bring to the party in hopes we wont go!"

Nico laughed, raising his hands up in defense "Alright alright you got me! But I still don't get why we have to go to the party!" He pouted, crossing his arms.

You walked over to the counter rolling yours eyes "One, because we said we would and Two they're your friends and my friends it would be rude not to."

Nico slowly walked towards you, a small pout on his lips. "But I just want to spend the time with you!" He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his vanilla scent filled your noise. You blushed pushing him away.

"Just help me with the cookies then we can make some hot chocolate!" Nico's eyes lit up at the mention of hot coco. He placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, tying the apron and rolling up his sleeves."

Ten minutes into cooking you almost regretted trying to cook with Nico. He was great at it but he was such a control freak! "No No! It said 2 cups of chocolate chips that's to much!"

You stared at him "It doesn't matter!" He groaned pushing you out the way "here let me do it!" You watched as he carefully folded the chips into the batter, wrapping the top with plastic wrap and placing it in the fridge.

"Alright it's gonna rest like that for 2 hours, it makes everything even more delicious!" He looked over at you with bright eyes. "Time for hot coco!"

You walked over to him, kissed his forehead before pulling the milk out the fridge. "alright just measure out the amount of milk we need." He nodded grabbing two mugs and filling them then dumping them into the pot.

He stirred the milk lazily "Why isn't it going faster?" He went down to turn the heat up "Nico no! You're going to burn the milk!" He looked at your tiredly "you don't like when it get's the skin on top and neither do I so lower the heat please!"

Nico rolled his eyes, lowering the heat to the second lowest setting then staring at you "happy now?" You nodded, grapping the whipped dream out the fridge and shaking it while Nico continued to stir the milk till it steamed.

The smell of warm milk filled the room as you heard Nico pour the steaming milk into the mugs.  You walked over to Nico, who was sitting on the couch you saw he had already stuck another candy cane in his mouth.

Grabbing the whipped cream bottle you made two small hills of whipped cream in each mug and waited for it to cool down. Nico, however, instantly grabbed his mug bringing it to his lips.

"Don't your gonna burn your mouth." You told him, watching him roll his eye. "No I'm not you're worrying to much."

He took a bug gulp then letting out a yelp, placing his mug down. He stuck his tongue out reveling a nasty red burn. You let out a small chuckle "see I told you!" He pouted at you "It really hurts!"

"Will you kiss it better?"

Frank: -Baby LOVES Christmas

-He takes you to canada

-He takes you to the Christmas market's and stuff

-He's also one who will get tangled in lights

-Along with that he isn't allowed to touch the breakable ornaments, like the delicate ones

-He also LOVES hot coco

-Frank makes like perfect hot coco's

-Like a nice whip cream swirl with chocolate and a few marshmallows

-It's very nice looking 10/10  

-Will also make maple taffy with you in the fresh snow

-But since you have to boil the syrup he isn't allowed

- "Frank baby, can you get the snow?"

- "Oh umm y-yeah!"

- "Alright here you are Frank, don't burn yourself"

- "I wont"

-He WILL wake up early on Christmas day

-He will also force you to go outside and have a snow ball fight

-istg he's just a nervous child in a giant's body

-Frank makes SUPER good eggnog also

-He LOVES getting a hot cup of coco and cuddling up with you next to a fire

-Especially after being out in the snow

-Also this boy really likes making snowmen

-and he's so good at it to

-Like he can make snowmen and like animals out of snow

-Hard to say what he would give you

-I want to say a sweater but that's not really like boyfriendy

-SO IM GOING TO SAY MATCHING SWEATERS

-More like a hoodie you had been wanting for a while and he got himself a complimentary one so you could match (And wear his because he knows you. You're not sly)

~~~Scenario~~~(Before anyone says anything I know he lives in Vancouver which is a city but just pretended you guys went to a cabin or something lol)

The cold winter air felt like it was ripping through your skin as the coldness from the snow made it's way through your boots and mittens that Frank at bought you the other day.

You looked over to Frank who was packing down snow on the last little bear cub, completing the bear family he was making. He smiled back at you, his nose and cheeks a light pink from the cold. You trudged over to him, the snow sinking slowing you down slightly, and wrapped your arms around his middle.

"Hey Frank I'm getting pretty cold can we head in soon?" You asked looking up at him. He smiled again, nodding his head "Yup! Just let me finish with these-" He grabbed the stick he had been using to adding details to all the bears and drew on some eyes and a mouth. "and done! Alright lets go in. Want to make some hot coco and eggnog?"

You nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the house. You pulled off your mittens, boots and socks and walked into the boiler room where they could dry.

"Hey Frank can you grab some wood? I'm gonna start a fire, it's kinda cold" Frank nodded, walking into the room where the wood had been put as you began getting the ingredients for eggnog and hot chocolate.

A moment later Frank walked into living room in his arms he held a few logs of cut, dry wood. He placed them on the hearth and began to collect kindling, starting the fire. "Hey I said I would do that Franky!"

Frank took his gloves off as he walked down the stairs "It's fine! I already had the wood so It's fine"

You pushed the hot coco ingredients to the side knowing it would take less time when you felt a pair of strong arms make their away around your waist and felt someone's chin on your shoulder.

"You got cloves honey. You need nutmeg" He placed a kiss on your cheek, grabbing the cloves and placing them into the spice cabinet, pulling out nutmeg. "Is there a difference?"

"Of course there is! I don't know it but you use nutmeg in eggnog, honey, not cloves." Frank stood next to you, grabbing the carton of eggs. "Can I separate the eggs?" He asked smiling brightly, jumping up and down a little. You smiled up at him, chuckling at his childish antics "Of course you can baby!"

About 10 minutes later you had unusable egg whites with pieces of egg yoke broken into them plus an almost empty carton of eggs. Of course you could just run to the store for more eggs but you had no interest in heading outside during a storm.

"Okay Fraky baby I think maybe I should crack the eggs but you can whip them okay?" He nodded, looking down and backing away from the counter leaving you 5 eggs.

Ones you finished with the eggs you began finishing up the eggnog without any other mishaps. You placed the eggnog into the fridge to let it get cold. You turned to start making the hot coco before Frank stopped you.

"You go put on some soft pajamas I can finish making this!" You went to rebuttal but he had already pushed you into the room you were sharing to let you change. You let out a sigh and pulled on some comfortable clothes along with the hoodie Frank had gotten you.

You walked into the living room and started tending to the fire. You sat down for a moment before you felt a blanket engulf you along with the feeling of being pulled into someone's lap. You felt Frank nuzzle into your neck, smiling.

"Merry Christmas honey"

"Merry Christmas baby"

Will:

-My oh my does this boy love Christmas

-During campfire this boy will sing ALL the Christmas songs

-ALL. OF. THEM.

-He also helps decorate around the camp

-He also really likes picking out Christmas trees

-Wears what he says are "really nice looking" sweaters...because sure they are

-Will also replaces the lollipops from his candy jar with candy canes

-He will scold you if you eat to much cookie dough

-Will also force you, and a bunch of others, to take vitamins during the winter

- "I don't want you getting sick!"

-"Fine I'll take them!"

-"But remember to take them everyday because if you forget to take one day then you'll forget like three days then you'll never take-"

-Kissing him gets him to shut up don't worry

-When he makes eggnog he makes sure that the eggs are pasteurized, so there's no chance of salmonella

-Also this sneaky son of a god will take you to places that he has hung mistletoe to get kisses

-He would definitely get you a music instrument he helped customize  

~~~Scenario~~~

You watched pearlescent puffs of smoke left your mouth, fading into the dark sky. You shivered as a cold wind hit, taking another sip of your hot coco.

Chiron rarely let it snow in camp, preferring to keep camp on the nicer side so everyone could train, save from the times he lit it rain. But today was a special occasion, Christmas eve.

You watched as Will stood in front of the camp, with his siblings, singing jingle bell rock a dopy grin on his face. Sure he looked a little tired, he had been working more than normal due to cold and flue season along with helping decorate camp, but over all he looked bright and happy.

You let out a cold sigh, pulling the hoodie Will had given you closer to your body. You stood up heading to the table with more hot coco, the song in the background had changed to some other song.

You were poring yourself another cup of coco when you felt a warm pair of arms around your waist, pulling you flush agents someone's chest. A small chuckle came from your lips as you put down the cup of coco, placing your arms over Wills.

"You feel cold." He placed a kiss on the nape of your neck, nuzzling there for a second before resting his chin on your shoulder. "It's cause it's cold dumb dumb" you ruffled his hair, glancing at him for a moment seeing a small pout on his lips. "You sounded good up there." You said turning around, plopping a handful of marshmallows into your drink.

"Thanks but I got a bit tired, plus I wanted to hang out with my adorable s/o, who I haven't seen all day." He placed a quick kiss on your forehead "You took your vitamins today right? I know you forget sometimes so I just wanted-" you cut him off with a kiss "yes yes mother I took my vitamins."

"Good " he smiled, lacing his fingers with yours, kissing you again "That hot chocolate is good I should get a cup" he turned around, his fingers still with between yours. "Your fingers are really cold." He looked over at you while poring a cup for himself.

"C'mon" he started pulling you towards the infirmary "Why?" He looked at you for a second before sighing and letting out a small chuckle, a smile decorating his face "We're getting you some gloves and an extra coat I left in the infirmary. C'mon"

Will walked ahead of you leading you to the infirmary. The breeze hit you like a knifes, hugging yourself to keep warm. "(Y/n) c'mon. It's really getting cold out" you looked up to see the open door to the infirmary, Will's voice calling from somewhere inside.

You stepped in, closing the door "Where are you?" you asked, dusting off the small bit of snow that you hadn't even noticed to have fallen. "In the back, hold on a sec I'm grabbing two jackets for us."

You sat on a waiting chair for a moment before Will's candy jar, filled with candy canes caught your eye. You smiled, standing up from your seat, quickly grabbing a candy cane and popping it in your mouth.

"Alrighty I got- Hey those aren't for you (n/n). You have already stolen half a jar." Will laughed as he watched you eat the candy cane. "What can I say they're delicious." You flashed him a smile, only to be crushed in a giant coat. "Don't want my sunspot getting cold now do I?"

You pulled the jacket around yourself and watched as Will do the same. He grabbed your hand pulling you out of the infirmary only to stop in the door way.

"Will what is it?" He smiled, pointing up towards a bundle of mistletoe. "Time for a kiss. It's tradition" he smiled brightly, placing his hands on your cheeks. You pouted, crossing your arms "You did that on purpose." Will laughed, pecking you all around your face "hmm maybe but are you gonna complain?

Magnus: -Boy hasn't had a real Christmas in so long

-so when you're like "CHIRSTMAS!!!"

-He's like lowkey uncomfortable

-But he does get over it

-He kinda doesn't like Christmas songs that much

-Mostly because Jack sings them 24/7 for like 2 months straight

-If he hears Jingle bells one more time he will loose it

- "JINGLE BELL-"

-"JACK I SWEAR TO THE GODS IF YOU DON'T STOP"

- "JINGLE BELL JINGLE ALL THE WAY"

-"(Y/N) PLEASE NOT YOU TOO"

-He LOVES hot coco, egg nog, cookies, pretty much any food really

-But he sucks at making them

- "I BURNT IT!"

-"YOU DON'T COOK EGGNOG!?!??!?!"

-ngl Christmas with him will be stressful but hella fun

-He SUCKS at ice skating

-Like this boy has no coordination or center of balance

-Falls every like 5 seconds

-Promise him some hot coco after

-Jack laughs at him after falling so many times

-For a present I think he'd make you matching bracelets with stuff he has collected on the hikes you guys have gone on

-He's saved a few things from each one, for the memories so he makes a bracelet out of them for you  

-I'm very series when I say that he straight up cherishes the little things he has saved

~~~Scenario~~~(If you're bad at skating....Shhhh)

You looked over to Magnus to see him struggling with tying the laces of his skates. You let out a chuckle before bending down and swatting his hands away. "How do you suck at tying your laces?" Jack's voice could be heard from above you, Magnus blushed "Shut up! The strings are really long! You don't even know how to tie laces!"

You laugh in amusement, looking over to see a few people watching Magnus in bewilderment. You tapped his shoes indicating you were done and he could stand. You stood up in front of Magnus, waiting for him to join you.

He shakily got up, grabbing onto you for support. "This isn't gonna be some cheesy romance movie scene about ice skating is it?" You laughed only to be cut off my Jack "OoOoOoO If It was I could serenade you to!-"

"NO" you both stumble slightly as Magnus yelled. Rolling your eyes you pulled Magnus towards the ice, stepping on was a bit hard as he refused to let go of you but he eventually let go, replacing you with a wall. "Magnus you have to let g-"

"No way! I'm gonna fall straight on my ass if I let go!" He continued to inch further along the wall as you stood still, watching him. About 3 minute later you got bored and decided it was time to take a lap or two around the ring.

"(Y/N)! Where are you going?" Magnus looked up to see you about 10 feet away from him. You turned around in time to see him fall straight onto his chest. "I was just gonna do a lap or two. I'll be back in a minute enjoy your date with the wall." You winked at him, wiggling you fingers, before skating up ahead more.

During the two laps you did you watch Magnus fall a bunch more times, he did at least try to get off the wall a few times, before fall straight on his ass and hanging to the wall again. You sighed, skating up next to him.

"Give me your hands" He looked up at you shaking his head rapidly like a child "no way I-"

"Oh my GODS Magnus just do it I'm trying to help you!" He pouted at being yelled at for a second then put his hands in yours. You pulled him away from the wall, his legs shook as he tried to stay balanced.

"Bend your legs, yeah like that. Have your feet kinda go diagonal, no the other way" He continued to wobble a little. A few minutes later Magnus was able to stand for a little on his own, he didn't get very far, but he could do it.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! LOOK IM DOING IT!" He waved over at you, even though you were a few feet away, causing him to fall. He groaned, rubbing the side of his jaw. You went up to him, bending down to his level. "Oh no Maggie, my baby! Are you okay?"

He pouted again, moving to sit normally. "Maggie?" He didn't move her look at you "If you continue to sit like that your pants are gonna get wet." Magnus's eyes widened before he scrambled trying to stand up, only to fall hard on to his hands, letting out a soft whimper.  

"Can we please go get hot coco now?" He stood up more cautiously, nursing his hurt wrist as he leaned agents the wall. Your eyes widened in realization that he was actually hurt. You skated to him, lacing your fingers with his. "Of course we can Maggie. We can even go to that cute little bakery we passed by on our way here and get freshly baked cookies! How does that sound?"

Magnus smiled and kissed you on the cheek "that sounds amazing."

"...can we get falafels after?"

Hearth:

-Again he doesn't really know what Christmas is

-Like he knows around winter people start buying stuff more and he sees trees, being sold but he doesn't understand why

-he's never really asked. Of course he's seen stuff advertised for Christmas so he makes the connection that they are connected

-So when you find out he hasn't had a Christmas like...ever you have to break that

- "here wear this!"

-"Why?"

-"Because it's festive c'mon! "

-You end up dressing him up like one of Santa's elfs and he feels really silly

-He's also lowkey offended when he sees what elf's look like in Santa world

-"This isn't accurate at all. Why are they all so happy and nice?"

-Helps decorate Blitzen's shop and the apartment

-Still doesn't understand the tree though

-"But....why a tree?"

-"I don't know babe but it's festive so come on!"

-He sucks at making cookies, its the sad truth

-He isn't good at picking presents lol

-He'd get you something you had been wanting for a while, a book or something

-Also would ask Blitz to help him make you a matching scarf

~~~~scenario~~~~

You walked into the apartment you shared with your boyfriend and best friend, the bag on your shoulder holding presents for the two. You kicked your shoes off and took of your jacket as you walked into the living room. A box of Christmas decorations was left waiting to be opened as you looked over to see the boys setting up the tree all three of you picked out.

"Hey!" your voice alerted Blitzen who turned around and saw you in the entrance "welcome back how was your shopping?" you sighed, shrugging your shoulders "It was alright I might have found a thing or two." The smile on your face gave away the bluff but Blitz laughed and rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen to get a drink.

You walked up behind Hearth, hugging him around his middle, barring your face in his back. He tensed up for a second before turning around and seeing you. He smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Hi sweetheart" he smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your frame and nuzzling your neck. After a few seconds you pulled away from him "Did you guys wait to decorate the tree?" Hearth nodded before pointing at the kitchen. "We also waiting to make cookies."

You turned around in Hearth's arms to see the ingredients of chocolate chip cookies and gingerbread waiting to be prepared. You kissed Hearth on the cheek before tapping his hands to let you go. Reluctantly he agreed letting his hands drop, only for you to grab one and pull him into the kitchen.

~~~time skip because shhhh~~~~

Hind sight you probably shouldn't have left Hearth by himself to make the cookie batter, but It was almost lunch and all three of you were hungry so you and Blitz went out to grab lunch and come back. Maybe on the way you bought Santa hats which delayed you but you didn't think about what could happen!

So Hearthstone stood in front of you, covered in flour, cookie batter in hand, the kitchen somehow relatively clean. Next to you Blitzen looked like he was about to die from laughter as you continued to stair at Hearth, your mouth a gap.

"What happened?" you slowly signed at him, still in slight disbelief. He blushed and put down the bowl , freeing up his hands "You said to follow the instructions, but I didn't know what a teaspoon was and then I spilled the flour on myself." Hearth stared at you for a for more seconds before you took a deep breath and grabbed his hand.

"Hey Blitz can you start up a new batch? I'm gonna get him cleaned up" Blitz nodded, still looking like he was holding in laughter, as you pulled Hearth into your shared room.

"Hearth go take a shower and I'll put your clothes in the wash, I'll also leave out some more clothes to change into alright?"  He nodded, blushing deeply still "I'm sorry about ruining the cookies"  you laughed, waving him off "No it's alright, Blitz is making a new batch now, just get yourself cleaned up."

You walked into the kitchen and started helping Blitzen make the cookies.

Ten minutes later Hearthstone walked back into the living room area, clad in a Christmas jumper and comfy pants you had set out for him. You walked up to him, kissing him on the cheek "You look cute now come here" he followed you to the kitchen bar stools, where you sat down and held a bit of cookie dough in front of him "You can have some it's really good."

After finishing up rolling out the cookies, and eating more dough then you should have, Blitzen popped them into the oven. You turned to Hearth "We can start decorating the apartment in a few minutes if you want" he nodded, pulling you into his lap, hugging you.

"Do you guys always have to be so lovey dovey?"

"Just wait till I hang mistletoe"

Alex: (I feel like I got Alex's characterization wrong for the scenario so I'm sorry about that :/)

-Alex hasn't really had a 'normal' Christmas even before being kicked out on the streets

-His/her parents were terrible to her/him

-So I doubt Alex has a really good Christmas

-But Alex still really likes the season

-Will do makeup with a green and read theme at least ones

-Also I feel like if there was a ugly sweater party on floor 19 Alex will straight up in a sweater dress that ISN'T ugly

- "Alex the theme was ugly sweater!"

- "I look hot as hell I'm not changing!"

-Never leave Alex alone if you guys make cookies together be s/he will eat ALL of the cookie batter

-You can't even get away with the 'You're gonna get sick!' because...

- "We're both dead"

-Also really loves hot coco

-drinks to much ngl

-and burns his/her tongue

- "Oh no I burned my tongue will you kiss it better" (Did I just use that twice? yes leave me alone)

- Will also hang up mistletoe and makes a big show of it if s/he get's stuck with someone other than you

- "I have to kiss T.J??? Why???? Oh Gods??? WHYY???"

- *T.J. legit just trying to go get lunch* "...But why"

-Will be even more extra if you get stuck with someone else under the mistletoe

-if you do you better hope to the GOD'S it isn't Magnus

- *EL GASP* "(Y/N)!! HOW COULD YOU! I'LL KILL MAGNUS ON THE BATTLE FEILD! YOU HEAR THAT CHASE??"

-Drag him/her away before s/he get's into a real fist fight

-S/he will take you on a slay ride

-Just because I think that Alex is secretly a hopeless romantic

-I could see him/her giving you two gifts

-Just because floor 19 opens gifts together and s/he doesn't want the others to know how whipped s/he is for you

-One gift, the gift s/he gives to you in front of the others, is probably something kinda mundane, a sweatshirt or something

-The one s/he gives you in private is actually really romantic

-It's a locket with a picture of the two of you, both your names in graved  

~~~Scenario~~ (he/him pronouns)

The sound of freshly fallen snow crunching under your boots as the sound of bells filled your ears. This place was quite beautiful, the pretty fairy lights strung up, the snow covered trees, the bonfire crackling behind you made you feel quite relaxed. Before you could get lost anymore in thought Alex tapped you on the shoulder.

"Hey where'd you float off to?"  You looked over your shoulder to see Alex, two cup of something steaming in his hands, bundled up in warm clothes.

"no where just thinkin'" Alex hummed handing you one of the cups. "Where did you hear about this place Alex?" Alex only smiled, placing a delicate kiss on your cheek.  "Why don't we keep that a secret." He winked at you, placing his arms around your waist.

"So you still haven't told me what we're doing here." You looked over your shoulder at him, a playful smile on his lips. He grabbed your hand and started walking towards the cabin that you both had walked through to get to this area.

Ones you both got into the cabin Alex guided you out of the front door where a burly looking man with a white beard stood in front of a wooden sled 6 deer at the front.

You looked over at Alex, mouth a gap, you where about to say something when the man cut you off "Ride for Alex to the frozen pond?"

"Yup!" He smiled brightly popping the p. The man nodded his head, heading to the front of the slay while Alex held your hand, helping you into the slay "my dear your chariot awaits" he said in a mockingly fancy tone. "Alex this is a slay." You laughed while climbing into the seat.

"Oh hush I'm trying to be romantic!" He climbed in next to you, cuddling into your side. You sat there for a few seconds before the slay began moving, almost sending you forward, only for Alex to grab you around your waist and pulling you towards him.

"You really are a klutz huh?" He laughed, rubbing his nose agents the side of his face. "Oh shut it" you smacked his hand causing him to laugh. After a few moments the slay went into a trail in the woods decorated with lights and ice sculptures, the freshly fallen snow decorating the trees.

You looked at the scenery in amazement "Alex isn't this so breath taking!" You smiled pointing at the tree that looked like it had ice drops hanging from the leaves. "Yeah it is" his voice sounded airy a light, you didn't even notice he wasn't looking at the forest.

~~~haha look another time skip~~~

The sun was already setting as the slay slowed down stopping at a clearing in front of a frozen over pond, a hot fire crackling with benches that looked freshly cut from wood.

Alex hopped out the side, holding his hand out to help you down. He scurried over to the fire, taking a log bench that was a bit more secluded yet still kept warm by the fire. "Other people will be here later but I wanted to be here first!"

You nodded at him, slipping your hand in is, bringing both your hands into your pocket. You leaned your head on his shoulder and began talking about random things a book you were reading, a new pot Alex was planning on making, killing your floor mates. That is until an interesting topic came up.

"What do you mean this is like your first 'real' Christmas?" You looked at Alex as he shuffled closer to you "Well I never really had a 'real' Christmas back with my family, then I was on the streets and everything and since being in Valhalla we've been kinda busy"

You looked at him shocked "If you told me I would have gotten you something more special!" He waved you off, kissing you on the cheek. "No no it's fine really." He pulled his hand away from yours, moving them to your face.

"I'm just happy to spend my first 'real' Christmas with you."

[plaidbooks]

Red

A/N: Hey, remember that made-up fic title game where I made this up and then an anon asked for it and I said I was already kinda working on it? No? Me either. But here’s a fic about Rafael being kidnapped. I’ve always wanted to write a darker fic where reader gets to go ham, so I did! I also love the idea of shooting someone while they’re posturing, and hate that it doesn’t happen in shows/movies. Lemme know if you want a part 2 or not!

Edit: I forgot to mention that this is dedicated to @prurientpuddlejumper, who wanted so bad for me to stab Rafi

Tags: kidnapping, murder/death, guns, whump (but not really until the end?), allusions to torture by knife/stabbings

Words: 3890

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @barbasimp @dianilaws @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

“Rafi, what the hell is this?” you asked, arms crossed, and eyes narrowed. You were inside his office at One Hogan Place—what was a happy surprise was slowly turning into something more—glaring at the desk. Everything was in its place, undisturbed, except for an open letter laying innocently on the wood. You couldn’t see the handwritten words, but you could make out the crest that acted as a signature—the emblem of the BX9 gang. You had seen it multiple times in your career as detective in Manhattan’s homicide department, usually spray painted at a crime scene, or tattooed on a member. Or carved into someone skin with a dull knife in more extreme cases.

Rafael came up behind you, glancing over your shoulder at his desk. He sighed. “Just a thinly veiled threat, hermosa. Nothing to worry about—”

“Nothing to worry about?” you spat. “BX9 is threatening you and there’s nothing to worry about?”

He grimaced at your tone. “Cariño, they’ve been threatening me since I became an ADA—it’s background noise at this point.” He kissed your cheek, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I promise you; it’s fine.”

You melted against his solid chest, but you didn’t uncross your arms. “It doesn’t feel fine, Raf…what if something happens? What are they even threatening you about?”

His lips moved to your neck, kissing the soft skin just below your ear. “Remember that conviction I got last week on Alfonse Romero? Well, he was a high-ranking member of the BX9…. They want him released,” he explained.

“That’s…a serious threat, Raf,” you murmured back. You moved your head to the side, giving him more access to your neck as your body started to relax under his touch. “Do I need to have unis watching you?”

Rafael bit down on your neck and you let out a whimper. “No, and I don’t want to talk about this right now. Right now, I just want you,” he whispered, kissing and sucking at you. He was impossible to resist, and you let him push you towards his desk, his hands groping at you.

 ******************

Ever since you learned your husband was coming under threats, you started wearing your vest everywhere under your shirt, just in case. BX9 were ruthless, and it wouldn’t surprise you if they went after you to hurt Rafael, whether you were a detective or not—they didn’t have qualms about killing cops. You wanted Rafael to wear a vest under his suits as well, but he refused, thinking it ridiculous. Even so, you snagged one that was his size from the department, and headed home, intending to force it on him. You’d rather him safe, if uncomfortable, than dead; fuck his pride. It was the weekend, so he was off, relaxing on the couch last you saw him that morning.

The elevator doors dinged open and you walk towards your shared loft but stop short. Even from here, you could see that the door is slightly open, the wood in the frame splintered. Your heart in your throat, you hurry to the door, unholstering your gun as you go. You push the door open, aiming you gun inside.

“Rafael?” you called out, taking a few steps in. The coatrack by the door has been knocked over, and there’s flecks of red on the carpet. Blood. Rage and fear coursed through you, and it’s with shaky hands that you step over it, moving through the quiet loft, searching every room. But there’s no sign of anyone there. Holstering your gun, you looked for something, anything, that could be a clue as to where they took him. There was no doubt in your mind as to who took him, and you closed your eyes, sending a silent prayer that he was still alive, fear and nausea overtaking you for just a moment before you shoved it down.

There was a piece of paper on the coffee table in the living room, and you could see the familiar crest of BX9. You glanced over it, your eyes scanning it quickly as you read it once, twice, your breath coming in sharper as you absorbed the words.

“Release our Captain Romero to us by 9am tomorrow morning, and we’ll trade back the lawyer. Fail to give us Romero, and you’ll find the lawyer’s corpse. -BX9”

You clenched your hands into fists. The good news was that Rafael was alive. The bad news was there was absolutely no way you could get Romero released, especially by 9am…it was already 1pm—you had less than 24 hours. There was an address at the end of the note; the meeting place for the exchange. You snapped a picture of it on your phone, then left the loft. You had some favors to call in, but one thought kept coming back to you; if there was so much as a scratch on Rafael Barba, you were going to kill everyone involved.

 *********************

“BX9 owns this warehouse,” one of your informants, Johnny, relayed to you. “I’ve seen a couple guys going in and out recently.”

You nodded. “But you didn’t see the ADA?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “But I did find a back door that seemed unguarded.”

That caught your attention. “Show me.”

It was 10pm, and your resolve had only hardened with the passing time. You had less than 12 hours to find your husband. After going to the meeting place and finding it deserted, you had sent out every druggie and rat that owed you a favor to track down BX9 hubs. You had then busied yourself with gearing up—making sure your vest was on tight, your ammo in your handgun full, an extra clip on your hip. You also grabbed your trusty pocketknife, and finished your ensemble with a fully-loaded, pump-action shotgun strapped to your back. You didn’t plan on taking hostages—BX9 would extend the same curtesy to you. It was all about who could pull the trigger faster. And you didn’t plan on losing.

Olivia Benson, head of Manhattan’s SVU, who Rafael worked with constantly and considered a friend, had tried to contact you after finding your home broken into, but you had ignored her calls. No distractions. You were going to find Rafael, and there was going to be hell to pay. There was a good chance you were going to lose your shield for this, but you didn’t care. You just didn’t want to drag anyone else into this. If you lost your job protecting your husband, then so be it. You didn’t need the self-righteous Lieutenant, nor her loyal lapdogs, holding you back.

 *****************

The warehouse seemed dark, abandoned…except for the one or two men in black, trying to look nondescript. They were doing inconspicuous laps around the place, or would lean against the front of the building, smoking. It made sense why the back door was unguarded, though—the warehouse was on the harbor, the back of the building against the water. You’d have to swim to get there. Not a problem.

“Thank you, Johnny,” you murmured. “Keep your eyes open for other hotspots, in case he’s not here.” He nodded, and you waved your hand, dismissing him. You were on a separate pier, gazing across the black waters to the warehouse that most likely held Rafael. As Johnny left, you looked around, trying to see if there was an easier solution than swimming; it was already 40 degrees outside, and the cool breeze would chill you to the bone if you were wet. Plus, you had your gun and a shotgun slung across your back that wouldn’t work if waterlogged.

Luckily, you found a small, rubber raft attached to a boat, oars laying on the deck next to it. You grabbed an oar, gently tossing it down to the raft below, then climbed down the ladder. One foot in the raft and taking out your pocketknife, you quickly cut through the ropes that tied the raft to the boat, then fully sat down inside. Silently, you paddled against the light current, heading towards the back of the warehouse. The two men never thought to check the water, their vigil consisting of only the front doors. It was an almost 30-minute fight across such a small expanse of water, your arms burning as you made it to the other side, but you felt none of it, your anger fueling you.

You carefully climbed up the ladder onto the pier, heading to the back door on silent feet. The door was locked, and you squatted by the locking mechanism. You popped open your pocketknife, shoving it into the keyhole. You fiddled with it, jerking it this way and that, trying to brute force your way in—you didn’t have anything else to pick the lock…besides the shotgun on your back. But that wasn’t really silent.

With a satisfying click, the keyhole turned. You tried the doorknob, and it turned, opening the door as the blade of your knife snapped inside the keyhole. Glancing at your broken pocketknife, you closed it, tucking it back into your pocket before entering the warehouse. A broken knife is still a sharp object, and the blade was still good for cutting ropes or tape.

It was silent inside as you crept along, gun held at the ready. You weren’t nervous, you weren’t sad. All you felt was a cold, simmering rage that was barely being contained within you…and the smallest kernel of fear that Rafael may be severely injured or worse. If he was truly dead, then—no, you wouldn’t finish that thought. He couldn’t be dead. You weren’t quite sure what you’d do if he was, and that scared you more than anything. But you took that fear and shoved it deep within yourself, letting anger and instinct take over. There’d be plenty of time for fear and stress later.

Gun drawn, you made your way down a hallway of open doors, the rooms small and empty, when you heard a muffled groan from behind a closed door. You holstered your gun, taking out the shotgun—if this room was like the others you had passed, it was small enough for the shotgun.

Holding the shotgun at the ready, you made your way to the door, then knocked harshly, taking a step back and aiming. As the door opened, you looked a member of the BX9 in the face before you pulled the trigger, blasting him backwards.

“What the fuck?” a voice yelled from inside the room. You kicked the door open, and it bounced off the dead man’s leg. You wedged your foot against the bottom of it, propping it open, and shoved the barrel of the shotgun towards the other man standing there. He jumped back in shock and fear, putting his hands up, a bloody knife falling from his hand and clattering to the floor. Between you was a man strapped to a chair, his back to you. But one look told you it wasn’t Rafael—he had blonde hair and his shoulders weren’t as broad. The man in the chair let out another groan, but you didn’t look away from the other BX9 member.

“Where’s Rafael Barba being held?” you asked, voice dangerous.

“Yo, he’s the one we tradin’ for Romero, right?” The man asked, voice shaky.

You gripped the shotgun tighter. “You have until the count of three to give me a location. One—”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t part o’ that hit! I was here, with—”

“Two—”

“I…I can find out! Lemme just text Jose—”

“Three.” You pulled the trigger, the shotgun blast deafening in the small room and silencing the man, splattering his blood on the wall behind him. You moved into the room, squatting down and reaching into the second dead man’s pocket, pulling out his cell. It was an old flip phone—a burner cell—so you didn’t need him to unlock it for you. You thumbed through the contacts until you found Jose, shooting him a text, asking for Rafael’s location. As you went to leave the room, you glanced at the poor man slumped in the chair, whimpering and groaning in pain. Using the burner cell, you called 911, requesting an ambulance, before leaving the warehouse. If Rafael was in the same shape as that man…you were already clenching your fists in rage.

 ****************

Jose didn’t text you back until almost 6am. Needless to say, you were furious, waiting for information, checking other BX9 hotspots, but finding no hint of Rafael there. At least he gave you an address instead of wondering why you were asking questions. So, with less than 3 hours remaining, you made your way to the destination, shotgun on your back and handgun on your hip. You felt no exhaustion from the sleepless night, having kept busy searching the city for your husband, your anger fueling you like gas to a flame.

You were across the street from where Jose had told you; it was an empty lot, a chain-link fence surrounding it, a rusted-out shipping container in the far end. Either Jose had completely fucked you, or they were in that shipping container. The only problem with the second option was that if you shot your gun—either one—inside there, you’d probably burst everyone’s eardrums, including your own…and Rafael’s, if he was indeed in there. But how to lure them out?

You made your way through the gate, your eyes never leaving the shipping crate. The opening was facing you; even though you could only see darkness inside with the barely rising sun casting shadows, you were sure they could see you just fine.

“I got your Captain out here,” you lied, your voice echoing along the buildings. “Show me the counselor.”

You heard scuffling inside, and a low voice saying, “go check,” before a man stepped out into the light.

“Where’s Romero?” he asked gruffly, coming to stand in front of you.

“Safe. Where’s Rafael?” you shot back, flexing your hands. The man had a gun in his waistband, but you knew you could draw faster.

“Safe,” he parroted back. “Show me Romero, and I’ll show you the lawyer.”

You stared at each other for a long time, sizing each other up. His hand twitched and you drew your gun, shooting him once in the chest. He had only made it halfway to his waistband before he was falling to the ground. You heard a scrambling inside the crate, and you aimed at the opening, waiting.

“Show me the ADA,” you called. “Or you all die.” You didn’t know how many there were, but you were following your own rationale—they wouldn’t fire a gun inside the container. Though there was still the option of stabbing Rafael…and you were praying they wouldn’t give up a chance at getting Romero back that easily by killing him.

A burly looking man came lumbering into the open, but you paid him no attention, your eyes instead locked on the man he was half-dragging with him. Rafael looked barely conscious, blood leaking from his temple and nose, his polo shirt torn and splattered with red. It looked like he had multiple stab wounds and cuts, and his legs were shaky beneath him. You clenched your teeth, your heart in your throat, but you didn’t lower your arm, gun still aimed at the man. You were seeing red as your eyes went to the gun pressed against the side of Rafael’s lolling head, then back to the man holding him up.

“Drop your gun, or he dies,” the man commanded.

A rush of adrenaline pumped through you, but you willed yourself to stay calm, unblinking as you stared the man down, unmoving. “I’m only going to say this once; let my husband go, or I’ll make you let him go,” you muttered, voice barely audible.

The man laughed. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do—” He was cut off as you pulled the trigger, hitting him between the eyes. As he fell backwards, Rafael stumbled forward, his legs buckling beneath him. You rushed forward, dropping your gun and catching him as he fell to his knees.

“Babe, look at me, are you okay? We gotta get you to a hospital,” you murmured, all the anger and rage that had filled you for the past day instantly leaving you. All you felt now was concern for your husband, and a profound relief that he was alive…plus an all-encompassing exhaustion that quickly filled in where the anger had left. You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you through fluttering eyelids.

“…[y/n]? Wh-what happened?... I’m so tired…” Rafael mumbled, unable to keep his eyes open.

“Stay with me, baby,” you replied, suddenly afraid that he may not survive. You pulled out your phone with one hand, calling 911 for an ambulance, while lifting his shirt with your other hand, checking his injuries. He had various cuts and stabs on his torso, but they all seemed old, the blood dried. You grit your teeth as fleeting anger washed through you once more, wishing you left the bastards alive so that you could shoot them again.

Helping Rafael to his feet, you half-walked, half-dragged him out of the lot, laying him on the cool concrete. You murmured encouragement to him while waiting for the ambulance, trying to keep him conscious, your heart straining. The police showed up first—someone must’ve called in the gunshots. You flashed your badge, telling them that the two dead were with BX9 and were killed in self-defense. Not a full lie, but you also weren’t telling them the full truth, either. They didn’t ask too many questions, and you surrendered the shotgun instantly, your handgun laying in the lot still.

The ambulance finally came just as Rafael lost consciousness. You waved the paramedics over, watching with bated breath as they loaded him onto a gurney.

“I’m riding with him,” you said, climbing into the ambulance with your husband, clutching his hand.

 ***************

Rafael slowly awoke a few hours after being admitted to the hospital, his hand still clutched in yours. You had yet to contact SVU—or IAB, for that matter—wanting to let Rafael and yourself relax before being subjected to all the visitors, all the questions. The various cuts and stab wounds were shallow, and only a few needed stitches. Thankfully, he didn’t have anything too serious done to him physically—probably because they were afraid that they wouldn’t get Romero back if they fucked Rafael up too much.

“Hey, honey. How’re you feeling?” you asked, voice soft.

He blinked groggily, eyes slightly unfocused. “Like I was hit repeatedly by a car,” he groaned, trying to sit up.

“Relax, dear. Don’t strain yourself,” you said, but he didn’t stop. So, rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you helped him sit up.

Once up, you poured him some water, then helped him lift the cup to his mouth. “What happened? I…I remember getting attacked from behind at home. They knocked me out…and then I woke up in a metal room…” he trailed off, and you could see the pain in his eyes.

“I found you in a storage container in an empty lot—they wanted to trade you for Romero,” you explained, eyes hard. You both fell to silence for a moment before you said quietly, “if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears. You know I won’t judge you.”

Rafael was silent for a long time, eyes downcast. He wasn’t one to talk freely about his emotions or thoughts—something that you learned to live with—but he was getting better about it with you. “When he stabbed me the first time, all I could think about was you…about how I was never going to see you again. I was sure I was going to die in that box….” Tears clouded his vision, and your heart shattered. “They didn’t tell me why I was there, why they took me. I…I didn’t know what was happening—”

“It’s okay, baby; you’re safe now,” you muttered, squeezing his hand. “I got you.”

Rafael sniffled. “I…should’ve listened to you about the threats. You were right—I should’ve had protection—”

“It’s in the past, Rafi. We can’t change it now.” It broke your heart to see Rafael like this, so shaken up. “Besides, I don’t think the BX9 are going to come anywhere near you anytime soon.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you. “Why not? You didn’t give them Romero, did you?”

“Of course not. But….” You weren’t positive how to tell him, but you also couldn’t lie to him. “I was so…enraged when I found you were taken…. In the process of tracking you down, I may have…taken out some members….”

Rafael blinked at you. “You…you killed people?”

“Technically, yes, I did. But—”

“Are you crazy? How have you not been arrested yet? What’s going to happen—”

“Calm down, Raf. They were all done in self-defense. I won’t be arrested…though, I may lose my shield for it,” you explained.

Rafael fell back into silence as he thought about this. You were a little embarrassed about it, guilty because you knew how he felt about murder. But you wouldn’t feel bad about protecting your husband, and that’s what you had been doing. You weren’t sure how IAB would come at you, though, but you also weren’t too worried about it; you were a decorated detective with a clean record. Plus, there were no witnesses to what happened…except that one man in the warehouse. There would definitely be questions about why you left him strapped to a chair, bleeding out. And you didn’t think it would go to trial, but you were already wondering if “not guilty by mental defect” applied, since you were out of your mind with worry and rage at Rafael being abducted.

You shook yourself, pushing all that from your mind. “I do still want to have some protection put on you…just for a little, okay?”

Rafael nodded vaguely, gaze not quite meeting your eyes. “How long am I stuck here for?”

“I’m…not sure, but it shouldn’t be too much longer. They were waiting for you to wake up, but your injuries aren’t severe…. Speaking of, did you want me to find a—a therapist—”

“Absolutely not. I’m fine,” Rafael cut you off. You figured as much; he’d never admit something wrong with his mind, even when he had tough cases wearing him down for weeks, months. He just powers through it; that was his way. But you were afraid that this time may be different…for both of you.

You squeezed his hand once more, and his eyes softened as he looked at you. “Okay, love. Let me go find your nurse, see if I can take you home. I’m making you your favorite dinner tonight, and then we are sleeping in.”

Rafael gave you a soft smile, bringing your hand up, his lips brushing your knuckles lightly. “Thank you, mi amor. Te amo.”

“Te amo, Guapo,” you replied, standing and making your way out the door, reluctant to leave him alone, to take your eyes off him, even for a second. But Rafael was safe…for now…as safe as he could be.

[jennsmischievousmind]

Fucks not Found

Die Hard

Ch1 Ghosts | Ch2 Florence | Ch3 A Matter of Seconds | Ch4 I need a Backdoor | Ch5 Die Hard | Ch6 White Flag | Ch7 Haunt the Living | Ch8 One, but not done [end]

“I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest. Five you got any band-aids?”

“Here we go sarcasm, can’t you communicate like a normal person.” One turned to you

“He’s kidding me, right? you look at the others - You’re kidding me, you’re the master of sarcasm, prendila in culo da un ciuccio imbizzarrito!”

“And Italian now, see, no communication skills,”

“Stop bickering like an old couple!” Five argued 

“How many times do we have left?” Two asked Seven in the cockpit “About 3 hours.” She rolled her eyes.

“Green lantern sucks that’s all I’m saying,” You sat back, hands up defensively.

“Seven hold me back!” One feigned to stood up

“Ok you two, TIME OUT!” Five threatened you with her index, you mimed zipping your lips.

Two hours later you were finally on solid earth, you met up in a market to eat something and review details about the extraction. 

Three and Two were acting weird, when Seven implied something happened between them in Vegas, you carefully looked at Four. One intervened, you gulped, he could kick you out the team in a second. He asked them if it was a matter of love, or just sex. Two insisted it was only sex. One approved her answered. Four gently kicked your foot under the table in a reassuring gesture.

The night fell slowly on Asia's World City, you geared up for Murat’s extraction. The plan was to use the sky’s crane to go from building to building, gas masks for a grand entry on the main hall, and a zip line for extraction. You look at yourself in the mirror, wearing all black and suit up like a spy, you kinda liked it, damn you were far from Italy and your barista job.

Before that you met Four in his room.

“You be careful up there, okay!”

“Yes m’am,” he cockily smiled, while packing his abseiling equipment. “By the way .. about what One asked Two and Three...,” you let the question hanging.

Four’s lips closed in a thin line, his green eyes searching yours “We…,“ loud knocks on the door scared the shit out of you two, followed by Three’s voice telling Four to move his ass. 

 Your post was at the end of the zip line, laptop on top of a barrel, One was supposed to meet you there later to pick up the target.

Four and Seven on the cranes, Five in the lobby, Two and Three waiting for their go-to.

“Team set – Target set – it’s your call One.” You announced on the comm. You felt like a fucking MI:6 agent or something.

“Hit it, guys!” One spoke.

Five launched the laughing gas, Two and Three entered the lobby a minute later, heading for the lift.

“Five, I got a transmission, someone is calling the police from the security post!” you heard her groaned preceded by a loud bang.

“We’ve got 13 minutes from now!” She cursed , you launched a chrono on your laptop.  

Four secured the zip line on his side, One arrived to secure it not far from you. Murat’s bodyguards became agitated because of the crane overhanging the penthouse.

Two and Three were on their way up. While Four decided to take a dip to avoid the bodyguards. One ran to the other side of the building.

“Skinny dipping” you let out snorting.

Focusing on the chrono you realized 60 seconds had passed and Four was still underwater.

“One … have you ever seen Le Grand Bleu? Four ain’t the main role!” you stated with a warning tone.

“That’s a good movie.” Two intervened shortly

Seven insisted Four was going to drown, but One stayed radio silent. Biting your lip, you became agitated; until Seven took over and shoot in the pool glass near Four, allowing him to breathe through the bullet hole. You let out the breath you were holding; shit One what the fuck man, you thought!

Police Sirens were being heard in the distance, the bodyguards left the pool area, you gave Four the go-to.

“How you doing over there? You having fun yet?” One asked Four on the comm, whom was abseiling and installing high intensity speakers on the windows’ penthouse. “Anyone ever asked you dumb questions when you’re ninety stories up?”

You sighed “Don’t distract him please, he has already lost time,”

“Yeah mom” One sighed “You care way too much for the boy, Eight,”

“Mate, Four cut One, you’re really ruining my flow right now, you know that?”

Neither of you came up with a smart answer, fortunately One moved on pretty quickly. 

Time came for the second hit. One launched the audio in the speakers, the THX synthesized crescendo, you saw the glass shattered because of the high frequency. And then it was the 4th of July without the pretty colors. Gunshots were fired from the entire penthouse. At some point you wondered if from where you stood you could receive a bullet, so you curled up a bit behind your laptop and the barrel. 

Apart from Three being under nitrous, everything was going as planned. Four had the target in no time.

“Bad news, I got a lift with 3-armed douchebags coming up. And more guys that were on the floor below, coming up the stairs, also armed .. for whatever that’s worth.” Switching the view cams, you saw Two and Three stuck at the stairs.

“15 minutes, time’s out” Five called out.

“Shit, police are crowding in the lobby,” You look around for One for direct advice, but he was nowhere to be seen until you look above “One, what the hell are you doing on the crane!?” you asked over the comm. “That’s ..that’s high,” was all he said.

They were surrounded and Seven for the second time tonight ended up saving their ass, maybe he wasn’t that bad after all you thought. They obviously got so mad at Seven for exploding the pool and drowning the all penthouse, almost killing Two.

You heard some screaming, looking above your screen like a meerkat you saw Murat Alimov sliding down the zip line. You detached him at his arrival, but he started running away, leaving you wondering but seeing Three hot on his tail you understood, this latter tackled the target to the ground. You groaned flinging your arms up “And now you’re hitting him, really!?!” Two landed next to you, followed by One.

“Your toy boy is stupid” you grabbed Two’s carabiner

“Tell me about it.” She sighed, reloading her gun

“Can’t one of you stop this dumbass!?!” One pointed at Three still beating up Rovach’s brother

You both shrugged.

“You've picked this dumbass.” Two said

One excused Three’s behavior to Murat Alimov, he asked you to take him quickly to the elevator.

“Sir, this way” you held his arm urging him forward the lift.

“Come on Four. We’re moving,” One came running behind

“Just go, I can’t get across. They cut the zip line,”

You stop dead in your tracks, still holding Murat.

“Four ...,” your voice was low even though everyone could hear you in the comm.

You heard gun shots and Four cursed.

One stopped behind, talking to Four, you were processing your next move. Shoving Murat to Two, you grabbed the pearl handle-gun Three stole and ran the opposite direction.

“Hey that's mine chiquita!”

One swirled on himself seeing you run “We're not waiting for you just so you know.” One voice echoed; you heard the elevator’s door closing.

“Four what’s your location?” you asked while running.

“Eight, go!”

“Where the fuck are you?!”

He sighed “I’m going for the crane!”

“Meet you there,”

You arrived at the crane’s feet, hardly breathing, “Shit I need to work on my cardio,”

“Eight!” you heard from above, Four jumped down next to you.

“See, you got out!” you slapped his chest for worrying you. Voices from the crane distracted you.

“Run!”

Four started running followed by you, but it wasn’t just a run, it was full parkour shit and you had no choice but to follow him.

Soon your charger was empty, 2 guys were down, 1 got thrown over the edge by Four, meaning only 3 left.

“Why are we climbing!?” You yelled at Four as he started running up the ledge.

One of the assholes started throwing grenades at you, like it wasn’t enough. Then you look ahead, Four jumped on 4 pylons and turned to you.

“Shit, Shit, Shit!!”

“COME ON!” The adrenaline took over, your legs jumped, feet joining on the 5 square foot platforms on top of the pylons. Four got a hold on you when you reached him.

“Shit!” you let out nervous laugh. “I’m a newbie in parkour remember?” But immediately you felt trapped, the douchebags were shooting at you. Suddenly a loud explosion had you two look up, your eyes widened as a bunch of I-beams fell from the sky crane.

“WHOA!!” Four yelled, shoving you inside the pylons corner, shielding you with his body, you grabbed onto him as hard as you could, trying to shield him as well. You tried focusing on something else than the heavy metallic sound the I-beams were making. Directing your attention on Four’s deep voice cursing and breathing loudly.

Screwing your eyes shot, you felt Four’s arms tightening at each thunder like sound. All of sudden the rattles sounded far away, a white silence filling your ears except for your heavy breathing. Locking eyes with Four, he pressed his forehead on yours. “Let’s go,”.

You resumed your escape, climbing down the pylons, without being seen, calling out the squad to give your position. Four was leading the way, but a shadow caught your eye. Before you could say anything, Four had been ran into by the biggest bodyguard, propelling the both of them into the empty. You froze, an image of your brother dead at the wheel flashed in your mind - not again - Until you heard a loud bang and Four cried out, he was alive, you ran to the edge, and saw them like 6 stories under, on a net, fighting.

"No, no, no" you look around, trying to come up with something until you saw a rolled fire hose.

"Big Mclane energy" grabbing the hose you tied it up to your waist, not thinking any longer in fear your brain you’d stop you, you jumped. Screaming like hell on your down, until the hose came to an abrupt stop, the knot immediately untying under the pressure letting you free fall 2 meters. Slamming on the metal net, the shocked knocked your airway for a second.

You groaned "..Never again!" propelling yourself up with difficulty. The adrenaline kicking in you ran to the big guy, jumping on his back and tightening his neck. It didn’t last long till he threw you off him with one arm, going on with punching Four. Between Four’s grunts breaking your heart, you heard the team arguing on the comm’. Seven yelling he’ll not let the both of you behind. Crawling back to Four, the big guy pushed him over the edge, himself falling a bit backward, a gasp escaped your dry throat. Fortunately, Four’s foot got stuck in the orange plastic net, you no longer cared that the big guy was still there, you had to go for Four. The big guy was determined to catch Four to crush him himself. 

“GRAB MY HAND!” you extended your arm over the edge, facing the void, his left hand grazed yours, but a foreign hand slide around your neck.

“NO!!” Four yelled, writhing trying to reach the ledge. 

The fall had already knock out your lungs so it didn’t take long before your vision became fuzzy. As the guy chocked you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your mind drifted to your brother, his warm hug before he got on that green car, his cheeky smile never leaving his face, his hand in yours at your mother’s grave.

“It’s only the two of us now.” A tear rolled down your face.

Sixth chapter White Flag

A/N: don’t forget to double tap if you liked it 🙏 

[pyrewrites]

Thirteen Days

Entry number 2 into the @bechloe-week Weekley Bechloe mini-challenge. This for the prompt ‘quarantine’.

Ao3

Thirteen Days

It was only day 6 of lockdown but LA already had a death toll. The rising count statewide was actually what finally got the state government to act. It was scary as hell but Chloe was in lockdown with her favorite person in the entire world. Her roommate, up and coming musician, and the girl she had been in love with for nearly a decade, Beca Mitchell.

Chloe suspected that she would have been in a much worse state of mind if not for Beca. Chloe was suffering from information overload on a near-daily basis before lunch. Beca had on more than one occasion hidden both of their phones and laptops behind the locked door to what had originally been designated as Chloe's bedroom but quickly became a guestroom/Beca's home studio space, and removed the batteries from all the remotes except for the blu-ray player that had Netflix to keep Chloe from looking up any more doom and gloom. And Chloe was grateful. Yesterday had been especially bad. Chloe had come across a pair of reports of deaths that blew a hole the size of the 405 in the claims that 'only the elderly and immunocompromised had to worry'. The first was a college athlete without a single health problem. He was the same age Chloe had been the day she met Beca. The second was a 13-year-old girl. She had spent hours curled up in Beca's arms alternating between crying and having panic attacks as the reality of the situation set in. Beca had run a marathon of Disney movies in their shared bedroom the whole rest of the day until Chloe had drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Chloe was making a sizable breakfast of all of Beca's favorites to bring her in bed to thank her for everything she did the day before. She glanced at the clock figuring she had enough time to finish before Beca woke up. She had just finished plating the food and was turning to the fridge to get the orange juice when her entire world stopped at the sound of a violent coughing fit coming from the bedroom. Her mind immediately flashed back to the last time they had gone to the store to stock up when the rumors of the lockdown started getting serious. The store had been packed. Despite all the talk of social distancing, Chloe would have been shocked if there was a total of six feet of open space in the entire store. That had been a week before the lockdown order had been given. Thirteen days ago.

Chloe sprinted to the bedroom. She slammed the door open to find Beca doubled over, still coughing. The covers on the bed had been kicked away from her body. Her face was flushed, which could have been attributed to the coughing fit. But the sheen of sweat over every inch of exposed skin Chloe could see was not the fault of coughing.

“Oh god no,” Chloe whispered. She rushed forward nearly jumping onto the bed. “Beca!”

Her coughing continued. She tried to speak only to cough again before she could form any coherent words. Chloe placed a hand on Beca's forehead only to yank it away from her burning skin. Chloe ran into the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cold water. After a few moments of searching, she found a bottle of cough syrup and a digital thermometer. She dashed back to the bed. She opened the bottle and handed it to Beca then started running the cold washcloth over the back of Beca's neck as she tilted her head back swallowing probably more than the recommended dosage.

“Thank you.” Beca croaked as Chloe wiped over her forehead and face, then down her chest and arms.

  “I'm calling the doctor,” Chloe said. Not saying '  to find out where to get tested'   out loud. But Beca saw the panic growing in her eyes. She turned on the thermometer and waited for it to chime ready. “Open.”

Beca dutifully opened her mouth and closed it again around the annoying plastic and metal probe. As soon as it was in place she watched as Chloe tried her best not to run from the room to get her phone. After several moments she could hear Chloe's voice but couldn't make out what she was saying until she shouted.

“I know the symptoms! They are all over the news and the internet! The last time we were out in public for any reason was thirteen days ago!”

Chloe's voice dropped again but it was obvious she was coming back to the bedroom just as the thermometer beeped.

“Yes, she is running a fever,” Chloe said as she walked up to the bed and plucked it from Beca's mouth. “Shit. It's 100.8, we need to come in today. As soon as possible.”

Beca watched as the tension in Chloe's face started to relax.

“Yes. Both of us. We went to the store to stock up two weeks ago and have been in close contact with each other in our apartment since.” Chloe paused. “Ok. Thank you very much.”

Chloe took the thermometer and the cough syrup back into the bathroom. She swung the door closed behind her so she could lean against the counter and try not to burst into tears. She only managed to stay quiet when she did start crying.

“Chlo?” Came Beca's scratchy voice from the bedroom after several minutes of Chloe not returning from the bathroom.

“Yeah. Just a second.” Chloe called trying to keep her voice even. She wiped at her face and almost considered doing her makeup, but decided that would make it even more obvious since they had both stopped bothering days ago. She slowly pulled open the door and started towards the hallway. “Just stay in bed. I'm going to bring you the breakfast I was fixing.”

Beca started to shuffle pillows around so she could sit up. She had gotten herself set up by the time Chloe returned with her food. She made another trip to get her own breakfast and climbed into bed with Beca.

“What was this for?” Beca rasped.

“I was thanking you for yesterday and all those Disney movies without complaining even once.” Chloe smiled.

“You didn't have too. But I'm glad you did.” Beca said before coughing a few times.

“Our appointment is at one. They have a mini drive-up testing center set up to keep from exposing other people that have other reasons to go to the doctor right now.”

Beca just nodded, not wanting to talk much more than she had to with her throat hurting.

Chloe turned on the tv and started searching Netflix. She turned on something light and kinda mindless to watch while they ate.

After they finished breakfast Chloe went digging in their closet. At the time the lockdown order had gone into effect they hadn't had any orders about wearing masks in public yet, so Chloe hadn't gone looking since they had stocked up enough food for at least another week and a half. She found what she was looking for tucked into a side pocket of her suitcase. She and Beca had joined the Beale family ski trip last year over Christmas. Chloe had gotten them a pair of 'neck warmer ski masks' that looked like a turtleneck that had been removed from its shirt. It could be pulled all the way up over your nose to keep your face warm and Chloe figured that much fabric would be much better than cutting up a t-shirt like the internet was suggesting. But given they weren't even going to have to get out of the car to get tested they might not even need them at all.

Chloe made them some sandwiches and packed them both a lunch because she had no idea how long they might be waiting despite having an appointment. She gathered a clean change of clothes for Beca, who hadn't gotten dressed yet since waking up. All of this in-between sessions of panicked pacing in the living room.

Once Beca was dressed Chloe changed into clothes that were more acceptable to wear in public before hustling Beca out to the car. She ran back inside to grab their packed lunch and took a long slow look around the home that they had built together, fighting back tears again.

Chloe barely heard the music playing in the car as she drove. The trip took less than a quarter as long as she was planning. There were virtually no cars on the road.

  “Is it just me or does it feel like we are in the opening scenes of some post-apocalyptic movie and we are like the last people left on earth?” Beca was the one to say it, which itself said how deserted the roads were.

They pulled up outside the doctor's office at 12:15, a full half-hour earlier that Chloe had expected. She saw a small tent in one corner of the parking lot and every other parking spot around that corner blocked off. She drove over and was waved down by a person in essentially a hazmat suit holding a clipboard. Chloe opened the window less than an inch, just enough to communicate.

“Do you have an appointment?” The person said.

“Yes, we do. Mitchell and Beale for 1 o'clock. Sorry we are early, I honestly didn't give any thought to how little traffic there would be.” Chloe said.

“Don't worry about. Everybody has done the same thing. We will get you taken care of as quickly as possible. Just wait in the car and we will hold up a sign with your name when it's your turn. Go ahead and park over there.” The person pointed to the end of the row in front of them. “Should be about 10-15 minutes.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said as she put the car back in gear. “How are you doing Becs?”

Beca shrugged and reclined her seat a bit before curling up.

Chloe watched as Beca nearly dozed off then turned her attention to the team working their way through the few cars waiting. They moved with a practiced efficiency that both impressed and frightened Chloe. She zoned out watching their movements until the person with the clipboard waved to get her attention. They held up a small whiteboard with Mitchell-Beale written on it. Chloe's heart skipped a beat.

Chloe pulled up to the spot she was directed to and rolled down both windows. The workers checked their temperatures with laser thermometers, that Chloe thought were pretty cool. They had both of them stick out their tongues so they could check their throats. Then they performed the test, which was very unpleasant. Before they let them leave they did a second swabbing of their throats.

“We will call you when the results come in. Good luck.” One of the workers said as they stepped back from the car to let them leave.

Chloe could barely bring herself to smile at them as she rolled up their windows. She didn't say a word the entire drive home.

When they got home they both changed back into more comfortable clothes and Beca crawled back into bed and took a nap. Chloe wanted to climb into bed and just hold Beca, but instead, she quietly closed the door before retreating to the living room, turning on the tv for some sound, and began crying again.

Chloe jerked awake at the sound of metal clanging in the kitchen. She looked around in confusion. The sun was setting outside. A blanket slipped off of her as she sat up awkwardly trying to move with a sore back.

She shuffled out to the kitchen to find Beca setting a pot of water on a burner.

“What are you doing?” Chloe said, her voice still thick with sleep.

“I woke up from my nap and you weren't there. I found you asleep on the couch so I covered you with a blanket and watched some tv for a while. Then I was in the mood for ramen. So here we are.” Beca said. Her voice still rough but it was better than it had been that morning.

“Go sit down,” Chloe ordered. “You are sick. I'll fix your food.”

Beca looked like she was going to object right up until Chloe shot her a look that said Beca wasn't going to win this argument. She stepped away from the stove and headed for the living room.

“And thank you for the blanket,” Chloe whispered as she placed a light kiss on Beca's cheek.

The next two days went much the same. Beca slept a lot. Chloe cried a lot and tried not to think about the sore throat she was starting to develop. Beca continued to be stubborn and tried to take care of herself as often as possible. And Chloe almost as often either ordered or, on three different occasions, physically carried Beca to the couch or bed to get her to stop.

The afternoon of the third day, after an especially bad coughing fit, Chloe broke. She started crying in front of Beca for the first time since she woke up sick days ago.

“Hey hey hey. It's ok Chlo.” Beca said as she gathered Chloe into her arms and started stroking her hair.

“No. It's not ok Beca.” Chloe's voice cracked. “I can't do this without you.”

“Can't do what?”

“This! Everything. My whole life. I can't lose you.” Chloe said between sobs.

“You aren't going to lose me Chlo.”

“You don't know that! And I don't want to live the rest of my life without you.”

“What the hell Chloe?”

“Beca I am trying to tell you that I'm in love with you and I don't want you to die!”

Beca stared opening and closing her mouth for what seemed like an hour.

A phone ringing startled both of them. Beca reached over and picked up her phone from her nightstand.

  “Hello? … Speaking. … I see. … Both of us? … Ok. … Yes, the one on file. … Yes. Thank you.” Beca hung up. After she set down her phone she took a slow deep breath. “Chloe. I love you too. I'm  in   love with you too.”

  “On no. Nononononono.” Chloe started crying again. She grabbed her own phone and started furiously started typing. “Fuck!”

“What?” Beca asked as Chloe started typing again.

“Apparently the courts aren't considered 'essential services' right now. Maybe they haven't locked down Vegas yet.” Chloe said distractedly.

“What are you talking about Chlo?”

“If one or both of us is going to die in the next few weeks I want to die knowing I got to be married to the love of my life.” Chloe looked up at the sound of Beca gasping. And found tears running down her smiling face.

Beca slowly reached out and took Chloe's phone from her.

“How 'bout you take me on at least a few dates first? But first, you need to make a run to the pharmacy at the Ralph's down the street.”

“Wha...but the internet says there's no treatment yet.”

“They ran a preliminary test here, but they have to send it to the CDC to make sure.”

“And...?”

“They came back negative for both of us. The test that came back positive was for strep throat.”

“So you're going to be ok?” A smile started spreading across Chloe's lips.

“Yeah. After a few more days of this fucking sore throat. And you're probably gonna get it too so they sent prescriptions for both of us to the pharmacy.” Beca grinned. “Maybe you can pick up some pizza while you are out and we can have that first date. Unless you still want to jump right to getting married.”

“After all this time it still surprises me that I am in love with such a pain in my ass.” Chloe laughed.

“'All this time'? Just how long have you been in love with me?”

“Think I'm going to let you wonder about that for awhile. I have to make a trip to the store.” Chloe said as she hopped off the bed giggling.

“Now who's the pain in the ass?” Beca called after her as she skipped down the hall. The sound of Chloe's laughter echoed back into the bedroom and it was the most beautiful thing Beca had ever heard...so far.

[kashimos-hajime]

viper | s.r.

summary: you would laugh at the irony — bucky is the one telling you the love of your life is gone — if you didn’t feel like this.

WARNINGS: angst, swearing, they kiss n stuff so ig its cute sometimes, civil war discourse, guns, unstable reader, also TREAT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS RIGHT or ill come beat you with a BAT lmk if i missed anything pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!enhanced!Reader word count: 12.5k

a/n: written for hann over @sunmoonandbucky​!! and i’m so sorry this is late! this is a stand-alone kinda prequel that occurs in the same universe as come undone so sorry yall steve is still an asshole and this ain’t up to snuff but i was having trouble keeping it a reasonable length (like maybe less than 15k???) my prompt was “i bet they have a sex dungeon” but i reworded it just a tiny bit. gif not mine

It begins with “Maybe I can get Thor to come down,” and “Only if you call your blondie first.” (You add you could pretend to put a gun on Jane and he’d instantly come down in a blaze of white and rainbow light — Jane retorts with the fact that Steve Rogers bought a bouquet of roses on your first date a week after you began being her shadow and writes you hand-written letters every second week. The instant you call, he’ll come running)

It begins with a friendly competition between Thor and Steve, who are not even present, but love the women there just as much (Thor would say he loves Jane more than Steve loves you because everything’s a competition on Asgard — Steve would say he loves you in some poem he wrote on the flight over with pink cheeks and a shy smile)

It begins with jokes and smiles, “I bet there’s a sex dungeon,” and laughter. (Jane comments that the abandoned warehouse is full of cobwebs and the readings are off the charts — you tell Darcy under your breath that that’s something you hear everyday and it’ll take more than that to interest you)

It ends just the opposite.

It ends with Jane Foster pulling your smoking body from the ashes of an abandoned warehouse. (Her hands nearly burn as they grab at bits of melting leather — your veins glow beneath your paling skin in bright, unearthly red)

It ends with a call to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Steve Rogers being pulled out of Washington, D.C. (Darcy makes the call because Jane doesn’t want them involved — they’ll end up doing what’s best for them rather than the best for you)

You end.

And something else begins.

.

It’s 2010.

You’re assigned to shadow Tony Stark alongside the Black Widow. You’re fresh-faced and chirpy, someone who whistles when they make coffee in the morning, the type of girl who’ll dance like no one’s watching and belt out the lyrics to her favourite song. Someone who believes that the insurmountable can be an anthill if you only look at it with a new point of view.

You wear combat boots and three thigh holsters and knives to work, but you love wearing makeup and sundresses and taking walks on the beach at sunset.

Essentially, if the Black Widow is the night, you are the day. 

Essentially, if you ask Natalia Romanova her opinion of you, then you’d get that you’re annoying as fuck, but if she catches anyone looking at you the wrong way, there’s no doubt they won’t live to see another day. That is, if she gets to them before you do.

Because before the sunshine girl Natalia affectionately calls a pain in her ass, you are the Viper. 

And vipers never strike twice.

.

It’s 2002.

Budapest is cold at this time of the year, but you’re only here because you owe Yelena a favour and if you don’t pay it back, she is going to kill you.

Whether that is a figure of speech or not, TBD.

Anyway, you figure you’re going to die anyway when your tires are shot out as you speed across the Liberty Bridge. It’s your last night in Budapest after killing whoever you’re meant to kill, and although it’s spring, it’s still fucking cold.

So, there you are, appropriately panicking internally because you do not want to plunge into ice cold water. You’re already shifting gears as you try to gain control of your car and you hear cars beep at you, but it’s two in the morning and you’re exhausted and you think maybe you can pull it off. Then another tire blows.

You fail miserably.

Swerving off the road, you let out a short yell before you’re sinking into the Danube, and the night air weaves underneath your tac suit before the freezing cold of December currents slams into you. You cut yourself free with the knife strapped beneath your dashboard as another wave of river water laps at your waist. Sucking in a huge breath, you fight back the freezing cold and reach up to your sunglasses department.

“Yelena, I’m going to kill you,” you mutter between your shivering as you grab the automatic center punch and press it against the glass. The glass shatters near instantly and you take a deep breath, climbing out through the window as your car sinks deeper into the river. The water nips at your cheeks and you fight off the urge to gasp at how bracing it is. Pushing yourself to the surface, you suck in a gaping breath and glance for the closest shore before swimming as hard as you can. An odd sensation of something burning you from the inside out fills your arms and legs as you paddle to shore, and you drag yourself onto dry land, wet dripping, squeezing out with every press of your body against the ground.

“Fuck.” Wiping off the water from your cheek, you roll onto your back and suck in a cold breath that is somehow warmer than you are. Closing your eyes, you let the breath shudder in your lungs as you try to pull yourself together. A list of names runs through your head as you push yourself up on aching limbs. You cross off a name one by one of those who’d want to kill you and instead rub your arms, trying to get some warmth back into you. You’re quite sure a mighty bruise is gonna bloom along your arms and ribs in a few days as an arrow lands at your feet.

“Stop.”

A voice, American, male, makes you turn around and you know immediately it is the one who shot out your tires.

“What do you want?” You look up to see him, a blur of dark violet and black as he propels himself down and lands a distance away. His bow folds back into a compact black rod that fits on his back, and he lets go of the rope as another figure appears at the top of the bridge. A flame of red hair and a black suit that looks a lot like yours drops to the ground and you gasp, lips barely parting and this time, it’s not from the cold.

“My name is Clint Barton, I’m with S.H.I.E.L.D.” The man smiles. Your eyes drag warily back to him, a hand on the pistol strapped to your back, along the line of your waist. The woman with red hair steps off the rope, shaking her head when the water laps at her feet. Pebbles crack beneath her feet and your breath rattles as your eyes dart back to her. “You’re who they call the Viper, right?”

“Yes,” you murmur, hand still on the gun. 

“Well, me and my partner here were tasked to kill you, but we’re thinking of making a different call.”

“We’ve been tracking you for a while now.” Her voice. The smirk you can barely see and the way she tosses the hair out of her face. Even the way she walks is the same

“Natalia?” Your voice bursts from your throat and you feel breathless at the sound of her name. The woman with red hair looks up jerkingly and your eyes widen as you soak in her face. She hasn’t aged a day, and you almost want to cry. “Tali, it’s me.” Her body goes limp, her arms swinging by her sides as you let go of the gun at your waist. Taking a tentative step forward, you press your lips together in a desperate attempt to smile. “Nat? Natalia?”

“No…”

“It’s me.” Your eyes burn now and you take another few steps, your knees weak and shaking. “I thought you were dead. They… they told me you were dead.”

“Well, clearly I’m not.”

“Fucking funny, Talia,” you spit, unable to help the tears clogging your throat as Natalia Romanova takes a step towards you. “It’s… it’s fucking… it’s really fucking funny.” You let out a sharp, chilling breath just as she opens her arms, and you glare at her, half-hoping she melts into a puddle at your feet.

“Come here,” she whispers and then you are flinging yourself into the Black Widow’s arms. Melting in her warm, dry embrace, you bury your face in her neck. You wrap your arms as tight as you can around her and squeeze, eyes closing shut. “Oh, god, Vipe,” she breathes out, and then she murmurs a Russian prayer of thanks you haven’t heard since you were five. Joining her, you can feel the smile beginning to pull at your lips at the familiarity of a sister’s hug.

“I feel like I’m missing something here,” Clint says, “but it’s a moment, so I guess I’ll let it slide.”

.

It’s 2012.

And there is a god on the loose.

“Can I just say that I hate this? For the record, that is,” you chime in helpfully, and Tony rolls his eyes at you through the screen as he fixes his mask and you sigh, stuffing another one of Peter’s pair of pajama bottoms into a duffel bag you’ve brought with you. “I don’t think we need to move Peter out of New York when Loki’s going for Stark Tower.”

“Just make sure Parker’s good. I don’t like the thought of us losing as much as the next person, but if we do lose, you know it’d be good if I didn’t get another Parker killed.” Tony’s voice echoes and you press your lips together in half a smile, wry and tired. 

“What happened at StarkExpo two years ago wasn’t your fault,” you say, but he merely shakes his head as you rifle through the closet for day clothes. The moment Peter is back from school, you’re taking both Peter and May to Tony’s place in Malibu for the weekend. “Ben Parker did what he thought was best.”

“Hammer drones killed him and they were going for anyone with the mask, Vipe.” Tony sounds exhausted, and you pause, glancing over your shoulder at your phone propped up on a stack of Peter’s textbooks. Sighing, you momentarily abandon your task of packing Peter’s bags and instead head to grab your phone. “If it weren’t for you, Peter would be dead, or worse—”

“You’re the one who saved him, Tony,” you murmur, sitting on the bed. You know he’s spiralling despite how put together he is externally, and you wish you could be there. You wish you could just reach over and hug him. But you can’t. Not yet. “I just made sure he stayed safe.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“I know.” You pull a strand of hair away from your face. “Tony, please don’t do anything stupid.”

“Cannot be guaranteed, Little Miss.” Rolling your eyes at the nickname as playfully as you can, your small smile tugs at your cheeks. Tony barely has the goggles on his face, holding them by one hand as the blowtorch sparks in every direction and you lean on your knees, just watching him at work. It’s always been something so intriguing to you, watching Tony make a suit, but now, it just makes you tired and sad.

“Then, at least put on your goggles,” you whisper, and it is at this volume that Tony finally looks at you. He blinks, squints at you with those dark, wet eyes and absorbs your sagging frown, the bags pulling underneath your eyes. “Tony.”

“Yeah. I will.” He sets down the blowtorch to pull the strap over his head before glancing up. “I’ve gotta go, Little Miss. I’ll see you on the return trip.”

“Bye, Tony.” You smile and he manages one of his own forced grins before you end the call and let your hands drop, leaning heavily on your knees as your head hangs low. The weight of the situation has always been on your shoulders, but for the first time, you feel like you have something to lose now. And it isn’t just Tony.

Coulson wasn’t the only one who ‘watched Captain America as he slept.’

You know everything there is to know about him, but you wish you knew Steve Rogers half as well you knew his alter ego.

So, when Steve Rogers asks you out on a date the old-fashioned way in the middle of the airport, you want to say yes. There are a ton of reporters around, snapping pictures of Captain America in his domestic life, and you’re tanned from your weekend in Malibu. Peter is clinging onto the luggage cart even though you’ve told him not to. May’s gone to the bathroom, and your eleven year old companion interrupts Steve’s no-doubt-memorized speech on how much he likes you with coughs he refuses to acknowledge collectively as a symptom of a cold.

“You always come with the extra set of arms and legs?” Steve asks when you don’t respond right away. He jokes to ease the tension, and you grin, just glad to see him in one piece. Unexpectedly, Steve smiles back and you feel your heart beat faster. You think you might just be a little in love with that smile as May comes back.

“Uhm, no. Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think Peter wants to go on a date with us,” you quip and he chuckles. “I’m being reassigned in London, so maybe I could put a rain check?”

“Of course. I’m going to Washington, too, uh, since Fury said he has some work for me there.”

“Perfect.” You smile and he brushes hair away from your face, a bit shyly. A delighted pink flush swells in his cheeks as he turns, walking to the cart. He begins to push and you blink as he sets off in the direction of the exit. A protest builds up in your throat — you can push your own luggage — but Steve is already off with Peter clinging onto his back, and you’re left with May.

“He’s good with kids,” she hums and you agree. “You two would have cute kids.”

“I just said yes to a date,” you admonish, much to her amusement. “May!”

“I’m just saying!” She throws her hands up in the air, walking after Steve and Peter who are being chased by reporters, and you let out a frustrated groan. You’re sure your boys are already playing a game of Tag with the paps chasing after them.

Wait.

Your boys.

Oh, you’re fucked.

You fall head over heels in love without a second look back.

.

It’s 2013.

After New York, Steve was reassigned to Washington as the newest S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and you to Jane Foster on Phil Coulson’s secret, special command. He owes Thor a favour.

So, you shadow Jane Foster as her bodyguard of sorts and you don’t say from who but you have enough charisma to lay down some heavy hints.

After all, Phil’s supposed to be dead. But he isn’t.

And the moment you touch the black cube, some part of you knows you’re supposed to be dead, too.

But you aren’t.

When you wake up — and you’re surprised you wake up —  you can taste the blood pooling in your head that feels like it’s splitting open and the drying tears on your cheeks. The sky is too bright and it’s pitch white, red and blue spiralling at the edges of your vision as a high-pitched siren rings between your ears. A violent push forces you into a sitting position and a scream tears itself through your throat as you cough, hot smoke spilling out of your mouth.

It curls in your lap, black as sin and silky between your thighs as a hand lands on your back, warm, heavy and familiar. 

“Doll? Hey—” You jerk away, the mind-splitting agony causing another round of tears to burn at your eyes. The hand wraps around you and a hot rush surges down your fingers as something snaps. “Hey, it’s just me.” Your hands plant themselves against the pavement, the roughness grating against your skin as lips brush against your ear.

“S-Steve?”

“That’s right, baby girl. Just me.” You blink, face twisting as the pain begins to melt away. It flows down your spine, nests at the base of your skull as the hand runs up and down your back. “Hey, you got yourself into some trouble, huh?” You raise a trembling hand to your face as you pry your eyes open and you let out a choked sob at the blood running down your wrists. 

“Steve, I’m… what happened?” Your words slur and echoes in your skull as you screw your eyes shut again. “Everything… hurts.”

“I know, doll, I know. Just hold on for a moment, okay? You’ve been out for thirty hours. S.H.I.E.L.D. set up a perimeter, but it’s…” He lets out a breath in a whistle and your eyes flutter open. 

“Where’s… Jane? Is she okay?” As your eyes begin to adjust, you try not to let your tears overflow. You run a hand over your face. Blood smears over your cheeks and Steve hushes you quietly, taking gentle hold of your hands. “What?”

“You’re bleeding. Just… let me take care of you, okay? Let me take care of you.” His words whisper over your skin and you turn towards him, raising your chin just enough to catch a glimpse of his sapphire eyes. The moment his gaze meets yours, it’s like a shock runs through your system. You’re all at once aware of how cold you are and you shake your head slowly, turning to examine your surroundings.

A white tent has been set up around you, and it’s where you lay now, on wet pavement beneath the ceiling you know now is not a white sky. The police sirens swirl along the walls, flash through the tarp flaps, and you feel something tug at your arm. 

“Don’t pull on your IV,” Steve murmurs, and you blink, dazed. Looking down at your elbow, you spot the IV that runs up to the stand and frown at how many marks there are there along your skin, as if some amateur did it. “They asked me to keep you hydrated, but I did a pretty bad job.”

“Where is everyone?” you ask, turning to look at Steve again. He looks exhausted, plum half moons staining beneath his eyes, his blond hair barely shining in the darkness of the tent. The whole tent is drowned in shadows and you feel him rub at your hands with a rag. Glancing down, you watch him tug at your fingers, slowly coaxing the red off your hands. 

“No one could touch you. Every time someone tried, it was like something lashed out. Whatever you touched inhabits you. Like that movie you made me watch when I came over to visit last Christmas.” 

A chuckle builds up in your throat and you let it spill, a smile tugging into your cheeks as you sniff. 

“Alien. It was the Chestbursters,” you whisper and he laughs against your cheek as he runs his hand through your hair. 

“Right. Well, it was sort of like that,” he continues and you nod, burying your face into his shirt and you breathe in the smell of sweat and blood as he wraps an arm around your waist. “But you’re safe now.”

“Steve—” The words catch in your throat. It feels like layers of you have been peeled away and you can taste whatever it is that squirms beneath your skin as you fling your arms around him. Holding onto him as tight as you can, you bury your face into his neck and let out a shuddering sigh— “Thank you.” 

“You’ll have leave, and be reassigned to a facility back in New York. Tony will love to have you back,” he says and you pull back. Quirking an eyebrow, you try to make yourself look as attractive as you can — as the sunshine girl Steve knows and maybe even loves, but you find yourself failing at how gross you feel. Like there’s something inside your body, sharing you, taking over. You feel like vomit. Not like vomiting.

Like stomach acid and day old corn, beef, potato salad, stale water and foul air.

And it makes you want to cry at how uncomfortable you are in your own skin.

“Christmas is just around the corner,” you say weakly and Steve chuckles as you poke his cheek. Wetness meets your fingertip and you blink, for the first time noticing the tears streaming down his face. His cheeks blotchy, eyes red-rimmed, he looks like hell took him and spat him out.

“You scared the life outta me, doll,” he murmurs when you plant your clean hand against his cheek. “Shit, you scared me.”

“Didn’t mean to, Stevie,” you mumble and he sighs, almost like he’s exasperated and grateful and half-in-love before he pulls you tight towards him again. Steve’s lips press into the juncture of your neck and shoulder before he hugs you tighter and you let out a wheeze. You raise your hand, the other clean one still flat against the ridges of his back, and marvel at the way the siren lights play with the dark blood streaking across your skin.

And as you focus on the warmth flowing through your body, swirling in your stomach and ebbing down your arms, red sparks at your fingertips.

“Everything used to be normal,” you whisper, closing your fist tight. Crescent moons imprint on your skin as you close your eyes. Steve’s arms tighten around you and you let out shuddering cry. “What happened to me?”

“We’ll figure it out, alright?” He pulls you back by the shoulders, makes sure you meet his eyes because they are sure as stone. They anchor you and you cup his face, feel his heat. He feels so real.

You nod. The sirens stop and you can hear people walking, murmuring to each other, words you can hear that they might as well have screamed in your ear. Freak accident, crazy, broken.

“We’ll figure it out,” he repeats, hand tilting your chin up as he half-smiles. “We’ll figure it out, and I love you, and I promise you I will fix this, okay?” Your eyes widen and you suck in a helpless breath as his smile shrinks. “What is it? Are you hurt?” He looks down at your body, still sopping wet and freezing, but you can barely feel the numbness tingling at your feet. Heat shoots through your veins as you fling yourself at Steve again, wrapping arms around him. 

“You love me?” 

And he laughs, laughs and laughs against you until all you know is the sound of him in your ears and the feel of his heart against your chest. “Of course I do.” He turns your face so he can kiss you and you smile into his kiss, a wet smile that he doesn’t care about because any smile of yours is… priceless. 

“I love you, too,” you utter and he smiles against your mouth, eyes closing. “I love you so much.”

“That’s perfect, ‘cause I plan on staying around for a while.”

You roll his words in your head before smiling to yourself. Melting into his arms, you press your ear against his chest as red wisps curl coyly around your fingers and you look into your lap, stained with the black you’d coughed up and the slick of blood. 

“Thank you, Steve,” you whisper above the sirens. You can barely hear yourself think, but Steve merely holds your head to him, supports you in ways you cannot.

“Anytime.”

.

It’s 2014.

You pace the length of the glass, pulling at the electrodes connected to your head while Thor, Steve, and Jane all yell at you through the intercom to stop. It’s been twenty four hours and you haven’t slept in any of them. Instead, you refreshed yourself on French, Croatian, and Finnish.

Instead, you’ve recreated your room to look like scenic Sweden in the middle of summer and you’re strolling through the streets of Stockholm.

It’s a neat little trick, that.

“Look, if this Malekith wants to come get me,” you say, planting your hands on your hips as a bird flits past your head, “he can come get me. Can I at least get a breath of fresh, non-filtered air? It tastes stale.”

“Sorry, doll, but no.” Steve’s voice filters through the speakers in the room and you let out a frustrated groan, your fist flaring up as you throw him a glare. Or at least where you think he might be standing. The illusion burns away by red flames and you face the mirror and pale white walls you can see in the reflection. Your boring test chamber. Prison. “I know, it’s New Year’s, but—”

“Steve, save it. It is New Year’s, and Tony and I were supposed to go to Peter’s party because I promised him.”

You haven’t seen Peter in months. You wonder how he is, and you think it would be enough to hear voicemails, but instead it isn’t. Your phone is flooded with voicemails from him, voicemails you’ve saved and listen when it gets hard to sleep, and you want to show him the newest thing you’ve learned in your detention. The hopeful smile he’d have… the one full of wonder and his eyes…

Thinking of him just makes you miss that boy more, and you want to scream at the top of your lungs, but then Steve would tell you to be quiet and that Malekith can hear you, and whatever it is — the Aether — will flare up and you’re just so sick of sleeping in a glass cell like a test subject. 

Whatever.

“I’m sorry. I have no idea how to make this easier for you, but you just gotta look on the bright side.”

Not whatever.

If anything, you’re so sick of false promises. You’ll be out once we’ve run some tests, you’ll be okay, whatever’s inside you isn’t hostile and Viper, Viper, Viper, someone wants to come in and do another round of blood tests, maybe your chemistry has changed and— 

You want to snap.

“You’re right! I’ve only been here ever since you guys found me passed out in London. I can’t leave, I have fucking powers I can’t understand and apparently I can make anything I want become reality.” Whirling around, you spot the croissant you haven’t touched from breakfast yesterday and grab it as a surge of energy flows up to your palm. Immediately it flickers in your hand like some hologram, distorting until a croissant no longer rests in your palm, but a rich red apple. You show it to the three watching you, show them the fruit of your labour. “See that? I’m doing great controlling this thing, huh.”

“Doll, stop. Power spikes might tip off Malekith on your location and—”

“You know it’s real,” you comment, cutting off Steve coldly. Biting into the apple, flavour bursts on your parched tongue and you swallow down the fruit before you toss it in the air. Letting it land in your hand like a baseball, you look down at it. “Or, I think it is. It tastes real, and at this point, any type of reality feels better than this, y’know?”

“My lady, you must control your temper.”

“Thor’s right.” Jane’s soft voice makes you pause and you rip your gaze away from the bitten apple in your palm to the mirror. You can only stare at yourself, at how much you look like some insane asylum patient. The electrodes, the issued white jumpsuit in a white room with a white bed and everything burning white or silver, the ankle tag in case you walk out of your cell, because everyone knows you can.

After all, if you can literally turn water into wine when you want to, what else can you do?

“Thor’s right,” you repeat dully, a terrible smile etching itself into your face. “Yeah, he’s right. ‘Cause I’m crazy, right? And some dark elf is trying to kill me, but I should stay the sunshine girl, right?” If your every word was corrosive, you know the glass would have melted. Would’ve been fitting, and for half a moment you are tempted to burn the whole building down.

The searing heat singing in your arm balls at your wrist and you glance down to see bright red smoke spiralling down to the floor, kissing at the apple you have dug fingernails into and juice leaks down between your fingers. You let out a heavy breath when the heat is blown away, cool conditioned air puffing against your bare skin. At how everything is regulated, even the temperature, what you eat, your calories, your oxygen levels, everything tiny little thing you don’t know about.

A knot in your chest twists harder and you want to throw a bed across the wall or shoot something, or just go for a round of sparring but instead you settle for throwing the apple hard enough it splatters on impact. Bits of fruit go everywhere and you watch the juice track down your reflection as apple seeds clatter around you. You didn’t try to break glass, but you think you can hear something crack as you close your eyes.

“We could give you a few hours,” Jane says, apprehensive for a potential galactic war, maybe, worried about your sanity and her safety, definitely, “right?”

“Malekith will take any chance he has to reach the Aether. There is no time for whims of the one,” Thor says.

“Doll, I’m sorry—”

“No, shut up! I miss kissing you, Steve, okay? I’m horny! And I’m supposed to be normal, you know? As normal as I can get!” You fling your arms out to the side and you spin around from the bed where you have a tray of food that was pushed in the flap in the door resting atop your blankets. You slam a hand against the glass, red smoke running along the surface. Your breath comes out ragged and you look at your own reflection, eyes wide and your shoulders heaving. “I’m… I’m supposed to be Natalia’s pain in her ass, and I’m supposed to wake up in the morning next to you and bring Tony his coffee or tell him to sleep because Pepper’s out of town or help Peter with his homework. 

“I’m supposed to be there for him,” you whisper, eyes closing as a burning in the corners of your eyes track down your skin. Pressing your forehead against the mirror, you swallow down the lump in your throat. “I’m… I’m supposed to be figuring out whatever the hell they did to me with you, Steve, not… not alone. Not as some lab rat for S.H.I.E.L.D. to poke and prod.” Your hand runs flat along the cold surface and you look up at your own reflection, at the mess your hair is, at the paleness in your face and how gaunt you look. At the red that seems to flow through your veins instead of blue and how utterly witch-like you look. “I’ve had enough of that in the Red Room, and I thought I switched sides for a reason.”

“I’m right here, okay?” Steve murmurs through the speakers and you sniff, trying to imagine him on the other side of the glass. His blue eyes staring back at you — eyes you have not seen in months. His blond hair swept off to the side and maybe he’s wearing a white tee-shirt and that dark jacket you bought him as a parting gift when he got reassigned to Washington. “I swear, we’re going to get this son of a bitch, but for now, you’re just a walking dart board, and I know they won’t miss. I miss you so much, but I can’t lose you.”

“Steve.” You slide down onto the ground and it’s almost as if you can feel his heat. If you close your eyes tight enough, maybe you can imagine him just on the other side of glass you’re not too afraid to break. “I miss you, too.”

“We’ve had quite a courtship,” he teases and you chuckle, pressing your cheek against the mirror. “Long distance, then London, isolation, and hell, I promise I’ll take you wherever you want as soon as this is done. I’ll take one of Tony’s jets and we’ll go, fix this, find someone who can fix you. Marry you, if that’s what you want.” Red smoke flares brightly at your fingertips and you shove them beneath your thighs, snuffing it out.

Some part of you wants to feel grateful.

Another part of you wishes he told you there’s nothing to fix instead. Wishes Steve can just accept that this is who you are now, as you have.

“A wedding sounds nice. Like a jailbreak party,” you whisper and he laughs, crackling over the comms. “But I need a ring first.”

“Give me a few hours.”

When dinner rolls around, the door beeps and swings open to reveal Steve Rogers in sweatpants, one of his hoodies he bought in some Brooklyn corner store, and dinner.

You smile and invite him down to your cot where a TV hung on the wall plays Aliens.

“What do you say to a movie night?” He pulls the hoodie over your head. Tucking hair away from your face, he kisses you sweetly. He tastes like sugar and heat, and you plant your hands flat against his cheeks. 

The hoodie smells ripe of him and you dig your nose into the collar, inhaling deeply before looking up at him. “It’s sweet but how’d you convince Coulson to allow you in here?” The blond doesn’t respond except for another few quick pecks and you pull away from his seeking lips with a scandalized gasp. “He doesn’t know?”

“Would it kill you if I said no?” he mumbles and you laugh into his next kiss as he sets down the tray of food on the floor and plucks something off it. He slides off the bed, sinking to one knee before you and you rake hair away from your face, the elated smile freezing on your face as he cracks open a velvet box. “‘Cause it would kill me if you did.”

“Steve?” His name stutters in your throat as you stare at the diamond ring way above your pay grade. You have a sneaking suspicion that Tony had something to do with it but it sparkles, glimmers in the artificial light. “Steve, I was joking—”

“I wasn’t.” In sweats and a grey hoodie, Steve has never looked more like a god. The white light plays in his hair, turning it silver-gold and his eyes are alight with pure hope that you nearly melt as you sit on the edge of your bed, just… speechless. “I love you, and I’m here for you. Sickness and in health. So… what do you say?”

“Yes, but also, we can’t get married here,” you warn and he laughs, leaning over to kiss you as he picks the ring out from between the cushion of velvet. Sliding it onto your finger, he pushes you over against the bed and wraps an arm around your waist. Draping himself over you, he kisses your chin, your lips, down your neck and you giggle, outstretching your arm as the red mist curls around the ring, curious to what this new thing is.  

“Doesn’t have to be now, ‘s long as I got my yes,” he mumbles and you close your eyes. All of a sudden, the walls in your prison have pushed themselves out by three inches. Letting your hand fall back, you run your fingers through his hair. “And what was that again? You said you were horny or was that my imagination?”

“Rogers,” you warn, but you can’t help the way he chases away the weights sitting on your chest as he brushes kisses up and down your neck. “C’mon, they’re watching.”

“Oh, no, they’re not.” His fingers poke teasingly into your sides and you let out a squeak as he chuckles, lips meeting yours again. “Forgot how ticklish you are, doll.”

“Steven Grant Rogers—”

“Shhh,” 

“But dinner—”

“Can you forget about the stupid dinner? I’m trying to take your clothes off.” You wiggle beneath his body, hair splaying beneath your head and he growls, nipping lightly at your jaw just as his phone vibrates and he jerks back. Bracketed between his legs, you prop yourself up on your elbows and frown, the joy slipping away like oil. Weights crush down on your shoulders as Steve’s eyebrows knit together and you reach up to cup his cheek just as your vision flickers.

Like a faulty TV, it breaks with red and you blink at how Steve’s face seems to fizzle as your fingers meet his cheek. His blue eyes meet yours immediately, drowning away the red and you let out a sharp breath.

“Steve?” Your voice catches and he flinches back, stung. “Steve, what happened?”

“Something in Washington,” he whispers and he stumbles off the bed as you sit up. The heat of him leaves a chill on your body and you stand up. He texts furiously on his phone and you walk after him as he gets the door to open. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Can I help?” You reach for his arm and you can’t help yourself from wondering what on Earth is this important. You know Tony’s in town and Natasha can handle Washington. Hell, S.H.I.E.L.D. is based in Washington and whatever it is, surely— “Captain America doesn’t need to go, does he?”

“Look, I have to go.” He shakes off your hand and hurt slams into you like a truck at how he doesn’t so much as spare you a glance before he pockets his phone. “I’m sorry,” he says and you think he almost means it by the way his blue eyes widen inconsolably. “I’ll be back.”

“Steve!” He pushes you back deeper into the room just as everything flickers red and you let out a gasp as something digs into your brain. “Steve, wait!” Your hands clutch at your skull as you fall to your knees and you squeeze your eyes shut. The pain blisters, pulsing like a heartbeat inside your spine before it drains away as quick as it came, and you let out a shaking breath.

When you open your eyes, you see everything outlined in blood red, their edges flickering like TV static. The ring on your finger burns cold and you rip it off, flinging it into the glass.

It cracks, shatters your reflection, and you turn away so you do not see your own tears fall.

.

It’s 2015.

You breathe new air for the first time in ages and your lungs spasm in your chest as you feel the sun on your face. With your bags packed and ready, you stand at the entrance of the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound and wait.

Sokovia was two months ago and you have some new teammates to meet, apparently.

“Steve said he’d come pick me up, right?” you ask the agent standing next to you. He’s swiping on some datapad but turns to look at you with a smile. “A hundred percent?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Cool.” You twist the ring around your finger and pretend not to notice the imaginary ants you have crawling on your boot. It’s not like you’ve told Steve. You know he’s been busy with whatever made him run out on you the first time and you know he said he might be a little bit late picking you up, but you didn’t think Captain America believed in being tardy. Not really.

A part of you wants to be angry that he’s a hero, and another part of you wants to just go home on your own.

Thirty minutes roll by.

“Do you have any cars I could borrow?” you ask. Sighing, you don’t wait for an answer and pick up your bags. “I’ll just drive back on my own. New York isn’t too far from here.”

“Of course, ma’am.” The man smiles and you half-smile before you fish out your phone. “I’ll have someone bring one around to the lot.”

“Thank you for waiting with me,” you call and he merely nods before heading back in. A disappointed pang hits at your stomach as you walk over to the lot, and you try not to let it bite at your heels until you’re bleeding.

You’re sure your heart already is.

You drive back to the Avengers facility where Tony’s working with Bruce on something and the welcome you deserve resides in Tony’s arms. Nearly two years since you’ve seen him and some very exhausted part of you jumps at the sight of him. Even if he’s visited, you know nothing will ever compare to seeing the exhausted eyebags beneath his eyes.

“Welcome back, Little Miss!” he cheers and you grin, holding onto his neck tight. “Welcome back to society.” You nestle your head against him, holding on for a second more before pulling back. 

“Hey, Bruce,” you whisper, turning to hug him quickly and he smiles like how you think your dad might’ve when you came back after an unruly tussle when you pull back. Or maybe that was the Red Room and how the madame would smile when you beat every opponent in your class. Parts of Bruce’s face stretch too wide, and his eyes narrow when you blink, and you wonder if it’s your mind playing tricks or he really looks like a stone-cold killer behind warm brown eyes.

You don’t even want to think about it.

“Cap didn’t pick you up?” Tony asks and your gaze darts to him warily. His face flickers red and for a moment, there’s two of Tony in your field of view before it’s gone. “You okay?”

“Yeah. A lot’s happened, y’know?” you say with a slight smile and he smiles, then, too, sad and bittersweet. “Uhm, can you show me to my room, Tony?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He claps and the lab lights turn on systematically, revealing more than what’s illuminated on the table Bruce turns back to. “Bruce, if you could work on the… the thingy.” He doesn’t stop to hear the answer, guiding you out of the lab. 

“So…” You descend down the steps, your sneakers slapping against the tile as you pull yourself together. Red wisps, barely there and faint as steam, play at your fingers as you try to come up with a reason Steve just… disappeared. You’re getting good at that, making up excuses. “Steve didn’t pick me up, and I was wondering if you knew where he was?”

“Steve didn’t come?” Tony’s eyes land on you and you press your lips together as you shake your head. Shoving your hands in your pockets, you turn to look at your friend. “I—”

“It’s fine. Two years — basically — of solitary confinement and he just… doesn’t come to see me out. It must’ve been important.” You shrug then, and Tony frowns. “It’s okay, Tony. I love him, like not-crazy love him but close enough, and I know it had to be something important because we’re getting married, y’know?”

“Yeah, congratulations to the happy couple,” he says but it’s half-hearted. “You give Cap too much credit,” he adds under his breath and you frown, blinking as you look at the floor. Stomach the soil, seeds of doubt are planted deep in your gut as you run Tony’s words through your head. “He didn’t even text you?”

“Maybe it was a mission.”

“And he didn’t take Wilson?” Tony shoots back, and you look up jerkingly, eyes flashing to the man beside you as you stop at the lounge. He walks around to flop down on the couch and you nearly cringe at the crumbs littering the glass coffee table. Tony leans back, kicks up his feet, and slaps the space beside him.

“I still have to meet Wilson,” you mutter, crossing your arms across your chest and walking onto the carpet. Sitting down, you nearly sink into the cushion and let out a yelp. “Shit, this is comfortable.”

“Haven’t had luxury in a while?”

“I was in a detention facility, so no,” you retort and you lean in towards Tony’s heat. “I’m just gonna wait and maybe it’ll be okay, y’know?”

“Right.” Tony claps again before resting an arm along the back of the couch. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you show Vipe where her room is?”

“Right away, boss.” You sit up, tucking your feet beneath you just as the elevator dings. Looking towards the sound, you watch as the doors open and your mouth drops open as a blond and a redhead step out. “Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Rogers have returned.”

“From where, exactly?” Tony calls out and Steve immediately whips around to the sound of his voice. Natalia is basically sleepwalking as she rubs at her eyes and you stand, grabbing an empty cup from the coffee table. Red smoke fills up white porcelain as it fills with warm tea and you rush over to her, offering her the drink. 

“Hey, Tali,” you whisper as Natalia looks up sharply, blue eyes wide and sober. A face-splitting grin on her face, she knocks the white mug to the ground, hot tea spilling everywhere. It shatters, a sharp cacophony, and white shards go everywhere, hot tea splashing against your shoes.

“You’re out!” Her arms wrap around you tight and you let out a wheeze when she lifts you up but the smile dies as you meet Steve’s gaze. He looks stricken at the sight of you, but the corner of your mouth quirks up as your sister puts you back down. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“It’s okay. I drove myself back,” you whisper and you cup her face, relishing in the warmth of her smile before a yawn on her part breaks the moment and you grin. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Promise,” she agrees and she heads up the stairs before you turn to Steve. Tony jogs past you, climbing the stairs after Natalia and you turn to watch them go before looking into his stricken face.

“Where were you?” you ask quietly, trying not to sound hurt. But you feel hollow, and everything is red when you’re not with Steve. “I really missed you these past few weeks.”

“Sorry. It got really busy with the new assignment,” Steve says with a shrug and you nod, pressing your lips into a smile as you open up your arms. “It’s really good to see you.” He walks into your embrace and you melt into his hold. “God, I’ve missed you.” His lips press against your hairline and you close your eyes.

“I love you,” you murmur and you tilt your chin up to look at him. His blue eyes are dark, tired, and he’s barely able to keep them open as you card your fingers through his hair. Just looking at him makes you feel so empty and whole at the same time that you know it has to be real. To feel such a paradox, such an oxymoron that you can’t even describe it, it must be real. “I love you, so it’s okay and you can tell me why you didn’t pick me up.”

“I needa tell you about Bucky,” he says and you thumb his cheek, feeling the soft swollen bags beneath his eye. He takes your wrist carefully, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of your wrist, eyes meeting yours beneath the hood of his brow.

“Tomorrow,” you say and he sighs against your palm. You step closer, your other arm wrapping around his waist as you tilt your head. “Whatever it is you need to tell me can wait. For now, shower and get some sleep.” The blue of his gaze lightens and he leans down to press a gentle kiss against your mouth. Breathing him in, you nearly sob at how soft his lips are, the smell of him so overwhelming — the smell of sea salt and smoke — that you feel your sinuses sting.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and you pull back with a nod. As he goes, you let your hand drop with a shattered sigh. Turning to watch him ascend the steps, you feel something inside you ache.

He looks as hollow as you feel.

.

It’s 2016.

“Couldn’t they put this as a PDF or something,” you murmur, trying to get a hold of the thick-as-fuck Accords. Words spin in your head as you flip over another page and Steve, with his arm around your shoulders, ignores you to argue with Tony. You sneak an arm around his waist, running it up and down his side as you scan the next few lines. “Save the trees.”

“I really don’t think that’s the U.N.’s priority right now,” Natalia comments from across the way and you sigh, setting it down in your lap. You can’t help the weird feeling in your stomach as wisps of red weave between your fingers. They seem to want to drag your hand back to the Accords and keep reading, but your head spins. 

“No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”

“That’s good. That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”

“Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose,” Steve exclaims and you look up warily. Tony’s eyes meet yours for a moment before you turn your gaze back to the Sokovia Accords. “What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go?” You unweave your arm from around Steve’s waist and stand, tossing the Accords onto the glass table between them. Wanda and Vision, sitting on a bench, reach for it. “What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

“Steve, I really think you need to read this,” you begin and razor sharp azure meets your eyes. “Look, if this doesn’t happen now, on our terms, they’re going to do this to us. That’s not going to be fun for any of us.”

“You’re saying they’ll come for me,” Wanda begins, and you whirl around to face the girl. She holds the Accords, too large for her slim frame and her eyes glow as red as your veins do. 

“We would protect you.”

“Look, Vision, that’s sweet, okay, but it’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“There are weapons of mass destruction in this room,” Tony continues, “and the government’s not going to allow a couple of nukes to walk in downtown New York. Ross had a point. Do we even know where Thor and Bruce are?”

“No.”

“Maybe Tony’s right.” Natalia sounds certain, and you turn to her, surprised as she breaks like static. Blinking, you see color other than red once again and try not to let it show on your face. Other than the fact that going from red-vision to full-colour still makes you surprised, you hadn’t expected her to pick a side so soon. You cross your arms as you sit down next to Steve once more. His arm falls around your shoulders as you tug at the skirt of your sundress. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off—”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?”

“What?” You look sharply at your sister who shrugs helplessly. Shaking her head, she looks at Wilson with a fierce stare.

“I’m just… I’m just reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”

Something vibrates against your leg and Steve’s arm slides from your shoulders. You turn to look at it, distracted as Steve grabs it and you slide your arm along his shoulder as he reads whatever message he was sent. Running your thumb over the curve of his shoulder, you rest your head on his shoulder just as he gets up. Your arm falls flat and you catch yourself just barely.

“I have to go.” Steve’s voice cuts clear across the tension and you watch the man leave, throat knotted. You feel something inside you twist and your eyebrows furrow as you try to come up with some reason, some way you can follow.

“I’m going to, uh, go see what that’s about.” You clear your throat, getting up to follow after him and you hear his footsteps echo as he descends the steps before stopping at the landing. “Steve?” He leans against the banister and bows his head with a heavy sigh, and you come up to him with gentle hands. “Steve, what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Steve, is it Bucky?” You lean in beside him, trying to get a read on his state as he pockets his phone and you sigh softly, trying to figure out what to say. “Is it the Accords? Because you seem pretty adamant on not signing.”

“And you are?” 

“I could’ve been the person who killed the Wakandans.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Someone did.” As soon as the words leave your lips, Steve’s head twists towards you, a frown pulling at the corner of his lips. He looks whole in your eyes, not a flickering edge in sight and you sigh at how much relief it brings you. “I’m not saying Wanda meant to do it on purpose, but she’s a kid and kids need supervision.”

“She had it.” Steve crosses his arms tight across his chest, and you turn to him, planting a hand on the rail and another on your hip.

“Did she? Because I read the report, Steve.” You throw up your hand, turning back to lean against the rail again as you try not to let your anger simmer. Your brow furrowed, your chest begins to tighten. “Rumlow said Bucky and suddenly, nothing else mattered, did it?” 

“Doll—”

“And… it feels…” You trail off, and you have no idea why. You think you’re softening the blow for him, but maybe you’re softening the blow for yourself.

“What?” Steve’s voice, sharp as daggers, sinks into you and you drag your gaze towards him. He looks shocked, pale as a sheet with rosy lips barely parted as you let out a soft exhale. 

“It feels true.” You shake your head before meeting his eyes. “Look, it doesn’t matter. What does is that I’m going to sign. Because we may not be kids, but we are dangerous and we need oversight.” Fingers reaching for his, you’re stung when he pulls his hand away. Clenching your jaw, you try to keep your voice hushed.  “Steve, I don’t want to fight.” 

“We can barely agree on when to get married, doll.” When he looks at you, it’s almost as if he stares right through you. “I don’t see how we can’t fight when we can barely make the small things work.”

“This isn’t some small decision! This isn’t choosing a winter wedding or a summer wedding, or whether the napkins should be folded in a Sydney Opera House or a lotus. This is whether or not we allow ourselves to get arrested or we play our cards right.”

“I’m not trusting a panel who won’t care about the people we’re supposed to be protecting.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s happened before.”

“Okay, but this isn’t S.H.I.E.L.D.” Your voice sharpens and you bite your tongue. “This is something we can give input to. What do you think they’re going to do when we disagree? Restrain us?”

“It isn’t that simple! Just because you see everything black and white doesn’t mean I have to. We can’t just choose to give over our rights and be okay with it.”

“You’re the one who’s seeing things black and white! Because this is a fucking grey area and we are drowning in it. This is… It’s not easy to just hand over the keys to people who don’t know us but we need this.” You struggle to find the words. “Steve, open your eyes and just… just understand that I want us to stay together. And if you do this, it’s almost as if you don’t care.”

“I’m standing up for what I believe in. I thought you could respect that,” he whispers harshly and you hold back a groan in frustration. Planting a hand on your hip, you look at him with narrowed eyes.

“And you don’t believe in family? In staying together? Because we can make changes. I promise, and you can still search for Bucky, I just—” Your breath hitches in your throat and Steve looks at you, eyebrows quirked. “Bucky.”

“What about him?”

“It’s Bucky. It’s always Bucky,” you whisper so quietly under your breath you don’t know if you even said it. “Natalia told me that—” You turn to look at the top of the stairs desperately. You can’t begin to describe how much you want to run up the stairs, down the hall and never look back. But you’re an optimist.

You always have been.

“Told you what?”

“That I’d never be your first choice.” The words come out bold and burning, and you can feel the ash it has left in your gums as you clench your jaw. You can still hear your sister’s voice echoing in your skull, whispered in confidence the day after one of Steve’s secret missions when he was looking for Bucky. Specifically, the mission that caused him to miss your birthday. You can still taste the bitterness, the tears that pressed bruises into your throat. “And I think he’s part of the reason why you won’t sign the Accords. Because you’re afraid they’ll issue sanctions if you go on your secret, unauthorized missions.”

Steve sighs, and his eyebrows knit together as you wrap your arms around yourself. You stare at him, wait for him to deny it, but you know he won’t. Because you’re in love with a man who supposedly loves you, but clearly doesn’t love you enough.

“Ever since Bucky came back into your life, it’s all you ever think about,” you continue, leaning against the banister once more. You cross your legs at the ankles, and turn to look at him. Your eyes immediately soak in the shadows that play across his face, the way the pale blue light of the sunroof has cast him a god of wind and sea. “And even though I’m talking to you… you’re not even here.”

Steve’s gaze darts to yours and you hold it, searching for someone who you haven’t seen in years. 

“I love you,” he insists and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down so you can breathe in his scent. He smells cool and clean, like sleep, and you want to go back to yesterday, last week, last year. You want to go back to when you were too afraid to break a bubble that you lived in, when the Accords didn’t exist. “I’m in love with you, but I’m so damn sorry.” His whispered words push into your mouth as you kiss him chastely, a barely-there kiss that makes your heart mend and break. His forehead knocks into yours and you hold him there for a moment, just watching the tiny little twitches of his face. Burning him into your head.

“It’s okay,” you say, hand stroking over his face and into his hair. His eyes half-mast, he just watches you as red runs beneath your palm, through your veins. His hands are shoved in his pockets, and it just makes you all the more aware of the hole he has carved in the shape of pieces he took from you. He won’t even touch you. “I can’t compete with what you and Bucky have.” 

“I don’t want you to. You’re the only one I want—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you murmur and he closes his eyes pulling away to stare at his feet. He grips the handrail and you stare into your palms, red playing against your flesh. The silence is thick and you swallow, trying to think of something to say — anything. Your chest is smashed to ashes and an ache spreads in your lungs as you close your eyes, hot tears sliding over your cheeks. “Steve—”

“I’ve got to go,” he mumbles and you’re not quite sure if the salt on your lips is yours or his as he presses a quick farewell kiss to your mouth and pulls away. He wipes at his face with a sleeve, and you wipe at your cheeks with the back of your hand as he turns away to hide his red-rimmed eyes and sniffing you can still hear. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Yeah, you always do,” you murmur and you watch him go as he bows his head, sleeve to his face. Sucking in a cold breath, you lean against the banister and tilt your head back. Closing your eyes, you try to ignore the migraine digging into your skull.

But you can’t. It only grows when you sign, and with the deadline to bring in Steve Rogers, and nearly tears you apart as you fly to Germany.

“Are you okay?” Peter asks as you walk to your position in the airport. He looks good in his new suit Tony had designed and you smile tiredly as he fidgets with the mask. You ruffle his hair, leaning over to kiss his forehead before trying to reinforce your weak smile.

“Yeah, I am. Watch yourself out there, okay?” you add and he nods as he opens up his mask. “If May finds out Tony smuggled you into Germany, my ass is going to pay for it.” He half-laughs, and you nudge him towards his hiding spot. “Go kick some ass.”

And you do, and he does, and you think maybe team Iron Man might make it work bringing in a rogue Captain America without J-SOC.

That is, until the giant.

“Okay, anybody on our side hiding any shocking and fantastic abilities they’d like to disclose? I’m open to suggestion.” Tony’s voice echoes in your ear, adding to the headache balling up between your eyes as you throw yourself at Clint. The man catches you by the rod of his bow as you wind yourself around his waist and flip him over.

“Would it kill you if I said I have untapped energy potential?” you ask into your comms and Clint sends you a confused look as you roll your eyes through the pain. Everything is hazy red and red mist spills from your hand as you stop Clint from swinging at you with a baton.

“No, I like that idea.”

“Tony, it’s not a good idea.”

“It was a joke, Stark,” you growl, flinging Clint away. The rod of his bow skids a few feet away and you scramble towards it, snapping it open with a sling. As you pull the string taut, an arrow forms between your fingers and you let it fly, following after Hawkeye with a barrage of arrows and keeping him busy running. “I’m trying not to kill anyone today.”

“Understood, Madame Secretary,” Tony teases and you squint an eye, letting another arrow fly just as Clint jumps onto the walkway leg. It nearly tags him in the ankle and you draw the string once more, black metal materializing between your fingers just as someone tackles into you. You’re slammed into the ground with a hard groan, your head snapping back into concrete. You hear something crack and you groan as Sam Wilson’s voice rattles in your ears. 

“I got her, Steve. It’s a go from me.” 

Steve… you repeat in your head, dazed. Turning over, you watch as Sam takes off after a jet and you try to get up. When you blink, your world is covered in red film, breaking like faulty holograms and you let out a sharp breath, trying to rub it out. The roar of the jet echoes in your heart, weaves into your chest as you reach out a hand. Red energy curls against your palm, soothing a nefarious drilling digging deep into your brain. Steve is getting away, and I can’t stop him. No, no, no— 

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together — to know Steve’s the one who put a target on your back. Blood shoves its way up your mouth as the ball of pure agony in your head explodes. 

“They’re getting away.”

“Get up, Viper! Come on, get up! You can stop them!”

You can’t get up. You can barely see as you plant your hands against the ground. Blood slick against your palms, you roll onto your stomach as you try to push yourself up. Shockwaves shake your bones and you let out a painful groan when your head tips you over. Landing on your side, you feel something warm dribble down your chin.

“Vision, I got a bandit on my six.” 

“What’s happening?” Peter’s innocent question makes you turn blindly towards him and you reach out just as strong arms hoist you onto your knees and you try to open your eyes only for white light to seep into your irises. “What’s happening? Are you okay? Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?”

“Vision! You copy? Target his thrusters, turn him into a glider.”

“Pete.” His name is thick in your mouth as you pat blindly and you come into contact with his face as you cough, black dotting the edges of your vision and you let out a groan when the blood pooling in your chest sloshes against your lungs. “It hurts. Shit, it hurts, Pete, it hurts so bad.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Oh, god, what do I do? Is there some way I can make it better?”

“Pete, you gotta go. You needa go, you needa go.” You can feel his arms holding you up as your hands trace down his cheeks and onto his neck, streaking blood all over his skin. You can barely see him but you know that he is smiling through his tears, tears that run over your knuckles and you think, brave boy. A brave boy who shouldn’t be here. “Pete, go.”

“I’m not gonna leave you here alone! You’re hurt, and I don’t know what to do. What do I do? Where does it hurt?”

“Rhodey!”

“Everywhere! Fuck, my head, Pete, you need to just… go. It hurts, it hurts. Make it stop,” you whimper as a ripple of agony travels across your skull. Jerking back, you rake your hands through your hair, trying to keep your eyes open through the tears. Everything is blinding white and red as you catch a glimpse of Peter’s face, brown eyes wide and tears dripping down his face as a double of him flashes before your eyes. A jackhammer digs into the center of your mind and you let out a scream, a pulse thundering through your body as you flare scarlet red.

“Tony, I’m flying dead stick.”

“No—”

“Leave me alone.” The words slip out of your mouth, incoherent, barely audible as voices begin to echo in your head. You half-recognize some of them, and others you barely know as frost sinks into your limbs, paralyzing you. Your whole body rigid, you fall to your elbows and knees as Peter’s hands hover around you. You can feel his warmth, every single molecule of his being, the racing of his heart and the soft whomsh of his blood. His breathing echoes in his ear, and you can hear his fingers twitching, the blink of his eye, the thickness in his throat, the roar of the quinjet and the sound of a body whistling through the air, falling faster and faster, too fast, and two men desperate to catch him—  

You can barely hear your own thoughts and your breaths come in sharp, painful gasps as you try to sort through the storm in your head — your thoughts from whatever it is that lives inside you, or changed you, or whatever it did because you can hear voices in languages you don’t understand and everything turns red, static and breaking apart as your reality crumbles to pieces around you.

“Let me help—”

“Leave me alone!” Pushing him away blindly, a surge of heat sinks its teeth down into your bones as everything inside you breaks. You pitch forward, bones snapping as voices echo in your head, and the ground splits beneath your hands.

“RHODES!”

.

It’s 2023.

You wear a black sweater because Pepper said it’d look nice and the heels Tony bought for you after the Civil War that’ve been gathering dust in the apparent five years you’ve been gone.

A part of you wants to toss the heels into the lake when the service is down, and you want to see if you can siphon what is left of the energy you have to bring Tony back to life. But you can’t. So you don’t try. You sit at the edge of the lake as the water laps at your feet, and you send gentle wisps of red over the soft waves as they lap at your feet. Tony’s last message echoes in your head, and you can picture him so clearly. And Natalia too, her last words to you— 

“Don’t go—”

The wisps take shape, mere figures of shadows of Tony and you and Natalia, memories playing like puppets on strings, jagged and sharp and all too wrong.

“Hey.” 

The figures vanish, sink into the water, and you flinch at the sound of his voice. Putting on a smile, you turn around and he stands there, hands shoved in his suit pocket, face pale and swollen around the eyes. Wiping at your own tears, you stand up and clear your throat.

“Hey, Steve.”

“Natasha’s service is tomorrow, so I was thinking we should all get some rest,” he says and you nod, turning back to the lake. He steps up to the shore beside you and you try your best not to look at him, no matter how much you want to. Your ring seems to cut off the blood to your finger as he breathes in quietly. “How are you?”

“I’m alive,” you reply softly. “Guess that’s what matters.”

“Doll—”

“Don’t call me that. Just…” You turn to him and stare into his glossy blue eyes, eyes that you haven’t seen in so, so long. Your heart nearly snaps in two as his lower lip trembles and you throw your arms around his neck, embracing him so tightly you can barely breathe. “I missed you so much, Steve. Oh, god, I miss you.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers hoarsely, and then suddenly his arms are around you, squeezing the life you’ve just gotten back out of you and you run your fingers through his gelled hair. “Germany, I— I never meant for that to happen.” Cold water douses whatever warmth you feel and you pull back, face pulled back in a terrible mask of an empty smile. “I never meant to leave you in the middle of one of your breaks.”

“Steve, that was apparently seven years ago and… it was for Bucky. You’d do anything for him. Do anything for anyone from your past, apparently,” you whisper and he tries to smile, but even he can now see how finished you are. How you’ve given up, and you wonder if that can scare him any more than it scares you. “And it’s sweet, and admirable, and that kind of loyalty is rare. I wish someone was like that with me, but… it’s just… you were always the only one who could stop me and in Germany… in Germany you were the reason it happened.” His arms fall away and you step back, clearing your throat. “But it’s in the past, now.”

“Doll—”

“Steve, fighting Thanos was the fucking scariest thing of my life, and I wanted to kill him so badly I tore open what Stephen Strange thinks is a multidimensional tear. Because I lost control, and I didn’t want to come back.” You can still recall the feeling — like free falling and knowing the clouds will catch you — as you just let go of everything holding you up. Of falling into the darkness and just barely snagging the last of the light so you can pull yourself out again if you wanted to.

And you didn’t want to until it was over.

Until Tony was dead.

“Everything from the past doesn’t matter, because I have more important things to fix,” you continue blithely. Steve barely has time to open his mouth before you lean up to kiss his lips. “I love you, Steve.” 

“I need to tell you something—”

“I’m not in the mood to talk, Steve. My best friends are dead, and it’s permanent. I’m not so lucky as you.” You force a smile onto your face and run a hand up and down his arm in farewell. “I’ll see you at the cabin.”

You don’t.

It is Bucky who tells you the man is gone.

You would laugh at the irony — Bucky is the one telling you the love of your life is gone — if you didn’t feel like this. Like your world is ending and like you’re not good enough and like the ring on your finger was just a cheap way to keep you around. 

Instead you thank him, and go to Natasha’s funeral. Because that’s what you do.

You look to the future. You are the sunshine girl after all. The Viper who can shed her skin and move on.

The Viper who is searching for someone. Who doesn’t know yet, but someone who doesn’t want to fix her, because she is not-fine-but-accepting of the way she is now. Who isn’t searching for someone else, someone from their past, someone you aren’t and can never be.

And you find him, weeks after the Battle, in one of New York’s finest bars.

Because if Steve Rogers is a loyal golden retriever, then Quentin Beck is the snake in the garden.

[missfay49]

Session 1a - Making Friends

This is a retelling, not a transcription.  I realize it may seem overly confusing, but none of the characters have introduced themselves yet, so if Patton doesn’t know their names, you don’t know either.

Word count: ~2,445

Relationships: platonic Moceit

Warnings (may contain spoilers): space, aliens, alien planet, fighting, cursing, disease, venom, exhaustion, mind-control, blood, hostile wildlife (request more tags if needed)

Starfinder words to google for your own clarity: kaukariki, yaruk, vesk, lashunta, ysoki, vracinea

Characters, for clarity: Patton, his brain slug, a human, a Vesk, two Lashunta, and a Ysoki

AO3

Prologue Next Chapter

******************

Patton is in the jungle. It’s not a bad jungle, as jungles go. Birds are tweeting, kaukarikis are chattering, and insects are prevalent.  He kneels beside some tracks, taking notes on his wrist comm.  

A faint baying sound is rumbling in the air, but he doesn’t pay it any mind until a truly cacophonous crash about a klick to the right brings him to his feet just in time to see a cloud of birds erupt from the jungle canopy.  He stands still watching the horizon for a minute, but no other sounds come forth.

“What do you think?” he asks the creature in his brain.

“Well, we’re certainly making quite a lot of progress here, wouldn’t want to ruin our streak of good luck,” they drawl.  Pat can feel the sarcasm pressing behind his eyes.  “Could be something interesting.”

“When you’re right, you’re right,” Pat agrees silently, shifting his pack and headed toward the ravine on his map.

~~~

Peering through the foliage, Patton spies a ragged group of people, panting and bandaging their wounds between some trees.  Two native Lashunta, an android, a Vesk, a Ysoki, and a fellow human.  The birds are just starting to settle back down and restart their conversations.  A few yaruks can be heard bleating on the other side of the ravine nearby.

“Let’s help them!” Pat starts to walk forward, but finds his muscles no longer obey his commands.

“No.”  The creature scolds him.  “Wait.”

They glance up to see a few kaukarikis watching the group as well, with more gathering by the minute. Curious.

~~~

They aren’t the only ones to notice the growing crowd.  Among the strangers, an android stares up at the monkey-like creatures in the trees.  Bright pink polymer hair and neon green accents decorate the robot.  They stick out against the foliage like a poison frog.

“Less than medium size, red faces, webbed forearms, stingers on their tails.  These are-”

“Sting bats!” one of the Lashunta break in.  They’re wearing survival gear and a pistol on their hip.

“-Kaukarikis,” the android finishes.  It seems like they might sigh if they had lungs.  “They’re venom causes a slow paralysis.  One is no threat, but several…”

Everyone looks around, including Pat who realizes an angry looking kaukariki is glaring right at him.

“Then again, safety in numbers and what not,” the voice concedes.

Patton steps out into the open.

“Y’all having a picnic or something?”

~~~

“Who are you!”  An intimidating Vesk stands up to face him, rifle drawn.  A large hammer is strapped to their back.

“Sorry, I heard the, uh, bridge collapse, apparently.”  Patton gestures vaguely beyond the group at the now impassable ravine, huge gouge marks leading toward the edge.  He was going to have to update his map.  “I came to investigate.

“Oh, yeah,” the Vesk glances back.  “You missed out on a fun stampede.”

A string of squeaky curses can be heard coming through the android’s comm, and they turn away to talk quietly into it.  The whole group of strangers tighten up and whisper amongst themselves for a couple minutes.  Patton waits and watches the kaukarikis grow increasingly more agitated, ears twitching from their treetop perches.  Finally, the huddle breaks and the android approaches him with a blank face.

“We are members of the Starfinder’s Society,” they explain.

“You out here alone?” The larger Lashunta asks him, this one with a pistol and a knife.

“Oh, you know, it is dangerous,” Pat responds smoothly, “but sometimes I go solo on the smaller jobs to save money.”

The human grunts and pipes up now.  “I appreciate your honesty.  At least you’re not blasting us with nose sounds.”

“Ah, you agitated the yaruks, then?”  Patton smiles knowingly.  The native herd animals could kill with their calls alone.

The group exchanges some indecipherable looks between each other.  The Vesk speaks up.

“We're kinda on a mission here.”

“Oh, sorry, I don't mean to intrude, I just didn’t expect to run into anyone out here!"  Patton puts his hands out in front of him in polite defense.  "Guess I just wanted to take advantage of some socialization while I had the chance.”

The sting bats are hooting and howling now, the trees are riddled with them.

“We should leave,” says the android.  The smaller Lashunta eyes Patton’s get up.

“Leaving you alone out here would be akin to murder, so…”  They look around at the others.  The Vesk grins wide, scaly skin stretching back to reveal their sharp teeth.

“I guess you're coming with us!”

Pat doesn't need the added motivation of the kaukarikis growling behind him, but they growl anyway.

"Alright!” he says. He enters the perimeter of the group, keeping one cautious eye on the trees.

~~~

Pat and his new travel companions start walking through the jungle to try to leave the kaukarikis behind and to get closer to something they call the “rune obelisk".  Much to Patton’s dismay, the human fires a warning shot into the trees every once in a while, scattering the creatures.  This only seems to incite them more each time.

The kaukarikis are agile, hollering and posturing at the group as they continue on.  It’s a tense couple of hours, but the creatures will grow tired eventually.  Right?

A distinct square pillar rises up over the horizon.  Stones along the path turn into ruins, hundreds of years of wear evident in the crumbling structures.  The group enters a clearing, and the kaukarikis are positively enraged. They’re pushing each other forward, as if goading each other to attack.  Several jump down from the trees.

“Can I ask, uh, why we’re entering the scary sting bat territory?”  Patton doesn’t take his eyes off the creatures.

“We have to,” the human grunts.

“Okay…”

“Also,” the android adds. “They appear to have followed us, which is strange.  I doubt we could lose them at this point.”

At least six of the kaukarikis have dropped down now and are creating a vague perimeter around the group.

“Their behavior is abnormal.”  The android says as they extend two additional arms from their torso and take a defensive stance.  Patton spares a glance at the neon colored marvel but goes positively bug-eyed when the knife wielding Lashunta charges at the nearest kaukariki and starts firing their pistol.

They hit one on the first try and all hell breaks loose.

“Oh, good.  They’re idiots,” the slug whispers to Patton.

Kaukarikis are swarming them now, stinging tails bashing against tempweave armor amid animal calls. Random expletives, including “fuckin’ monkey!” rise up over the din.  Patton dodges a stinger as machine gun fire goes off a few feet away and he slaps both hands over his ears.  The other human just nearly shot him!  

At least two of his new friends have already been stung and, knowing what comes after that, Patton steps back and joins them in firing on the wildlife.  This needs to end fast.

Laser pistols and pulse cannons are firing in all directions and one of the Lashunta is stumbling from the venom’s effects.  They trip and fall for a second but drag themselves back up and keep fighting somehow. The animals howl at them from the trees each time one of their fellows falls to gunfire.  

In a few seconds, it’s over. Their attackers are dead and the rest of the creatures still in the foliage don’t seem like they’ll be coming forward any time soon.  The android sinks to their knees beside him, sparking.  Patton kneels and inspects their dented panels.  Everyone takes a few minutes to catch their breath amid hostile hoots and growls.  The midday sun is bearing down on them.

~~~

Minutes pass and the rest of the kaukarikis have backed off by now, booing the group.  They are wary and watch from a safe distance.  Patton feels like they just won an important battle, but not the war.  He sets to work trying to administer some first aid to the others.  Unfortunately, anti-venoms had been deemed unnecessary during his last resupply.  

The effects of the sting bats’ venom are apparent now, as somehow only Patton got through the fight unscathed.  Even the android took some hits but, of course, for them the issue is not the venom, but the dents to their plating.  The smaller Lashunta is breathing hard, laying on their back on the ground and trying not to throw up.

The larger Lashunta wanders the perimeter and starts scaling a tree.  Everyone is too tired to stop them.  If they get lost in the jungle, that’s on them.

“Look what I found!” They climb back down a degree later and reveal two scuffed serum capsules.  “The other group, they must have passed through here.”

“We could just leave, you know,” the slug reminds him.  “This lot is trouble.”

“The wildlife seems a little hostile right now.  Strength in numbers, right?”

“Another group?” Patton asks, eyeing the capsules. “Do your lot often fight with the wildlife?”  

“Only when there's wildlife,” the human gives him a dangerous smirk.

“When they start it!” The Lashunta shouts at the same time.

“Didn't one of us fire first?”  He blinks innocently at the big loud, knife-wielding, tree-climbing Lashunta. They squint back at him.

“So, what’s up with this obelisk?”  The Vesk interrupts their contest of wills.  The Lashunta joins them to stare at the pale grey pillar.

“Halkueem Zan, didn’t he talk about this obelisk?” the Lashunta reminds them.

The android studies the monument from afar, analyzing it aloud.

“It is not a rune obelisk. It must have had a physical function at one time.  It’s tall, perhaps a watchtower?  There may be a room inside.”

Patton stays close behind them, keeping one eye on the sting bats.  The Vesk up front surveys the area for signs of the other party passing through.

“We’re on the right track,” they confirm, straightening up from the ground.

The big Lashunta spies something sparkling in the ruins.  They begin crossing the field, looking all around only to pause as a strange sensation pulls at their mind.  Almost like a forgotten smell.  They shrug it off.

“Smells weird over here, y’all,” they shout over their shoulder.  As the others explore the edge of the ruins, Patton pats the smaller Lashunta on the shoulder, telling them to stay put and goes to join the large one.  Glancing up at the obelisk, he catches sight of a deep green vine trailing up the stonework.  Next thing he knows, he’s running full speed toward the monument.

“Stop.  What are you- I said, ‘stop’!  What’s happening!”  The slug screams at him, but he can neither hear nor obey as he runs headlong into the ruins.

“Hey?”  The Lashunta calls out to him as he sprints past, their arms stuffing a bag full of found items.

“HEY!”  Patton screams back at them, only stopping once he gets to the monument’s edge.  The vines are thick around the base and prevent him from getting any closer.  Not that he wants to.

Patton stands before the vines, gazing deep into the foliage.  The compulsion fades, but he finds that he’s frozen to the spot.  The scent of pollen is heavy in the air.

“Patton!  I command you to move away from the obelisk this instant!”

“I can’t!  Why can’t I move?!”

Several yards back now, the other human is eyeing the newcomer, brow furrowed.  They take a few slow steps forward, reloading their gun and glaring at each tree in view.  The android sends a still image of the scene to an unknown third party with the message, “we made a new friend”.  The large Lashunta is still calling to him.

“You okay, bud?”  They look down at theirself, but, yeah, everything feels fine.  It’s only the new guy that’s acting weird right now.

The only response is the sound of birds and sting bats chirping in the trees.  The Lashunta approaches him where he stands like a statue, knees and eyes locked.  They reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, tugging lightly, then shaking him when he doesn’t react.  His body wobbles like a mannequin.  They grab his other shoulder now, too, and try to physically drag him away.  

They barely get an inch.

The Lashunta realizes the vines beneath them are moving.  Strands shoot up, whipping the ground.  A wild jumble of vines and tiny flowers flail around them, followed by a large bulb barely balanced above the mass.  Spiny teeth line both sides of the plant’s ‘face’.  Horrified, the Lashunta watches it move fast and inexorably toward them and engulf Patton’s head.  They make no move to protect theirself as their body locks up just as Patton’s had before he was eaten.  The hungry lobes of the plant are down to his shoulders now.

“We’re being eaten!”

“I can see that!”

“Do something!”

“You do something!”

The slug examines Patton’s brain frantically.  Synapses are firing wildly, stinging like static shock.  Histamines are being sent to the sinus cavity autonomically.  All the muscles are screaming, locked tight by an involuntary flex.

“Fuck!”

Outside the maw of the plant, people are closing in.  Guns are firing at will and someone is yelling.  The android’s analysis is the only calm thing heard over the scene.

“Vracinea.  This native carnivorous flora lures its prey over with a yet unexplained compulsory effect, then paralyzes them with spores and digests them.  It is not particularly weak to any form of attack.”

“There!”  The slug locates the cluster of newly formed neurons in the hippocampus and slams into them.  Metaphorically speaking.

“ARGH!”  Patton nearly collapses from the sudden release of his muscles and wrestles the plant lobes off of himself, the spiny cilia tearing at his skin.  He trips and scrambles away over the writhing vines all around.  When he joins the smaller Lashunta by a tree a safe distance away (when did they even come over here?), he has only a second to notice the being is transfixed by a dark red flower deep in the vines.  Another puff of spores shoot out from it and Pat realizes the Lashunta is paralyzed, too. They’re trembling slightly, muscles tight and a thin sheen of sweat on their green face.  Looking back at his attacker, the other Lashunta is also just standing there, trapped under the beast.  

His heart is pounding and Patton realizes he's hyperventilating just as a fuzzy feeling slows his racing thoughts.  His limbs begin moving without him, turning him to face the threat.  He hardly notices; the blanket in his mind is too tempting.

"I'll handle this," the slug tells him, pushing his consciousness fully under the wave.  The scene around him feels more like a video now, and he turns his mind away from it.

"Thanks, Janus."

Prologue Next Chapter

[mattzerella-sticks]

The Silver Lining, Destiel Christmas/Hospital fic

Castiel expected to have a regular Christmas, the same he's had for all his life. Spent with family, exchanging presents and good cheer. Basking in the warmth of unconditional love. However, a twist of fate and a prank gone wrong leads him to experiencing a few new firsts.

His first trip to a hospital.

His first Christmas celebrated in a different location.

His first meeting with a certain man, suffering from a horrible case of food poisoning.

Of the three, he hopes the third is the first of many, many more. Is their encounter as rare as a Christmas miracle, or is it the gift that keeps on giving?

Cold. Wind races past his collar and sends shivers down his spine. “Stupid Gabriel,” he growls, shuffling the ladder until it aligns securely against his house. Castiel huffs a foggy breath over his trembling hands, rubbing them together for warmth. “How he can see tangled lights in this weather…”

Snow buffets him on his way up, Castiel pausing at times so he won’t fall off. Halfway up the ladder, Castiel’s common sense tugs at his nerves. Warns him from moving any further in fear of endangering himself. But then Gabriel pops in and strangles the thought, gratingly reminding him that decorations need to be perfect so close to Christmas. “It’ll only take me a second anyway,” he says, climbing another rung, “In and out.”

He reaches the roof, gripping the edges for balance. Squinting, Castiel scans the decorations amassed for the error Gabriel saw. Neck straining from the effort. Finding no fault in the perimeter Castiel checks the larger display. Leans further onto the roof and blindly gropes for Santa and his sleigh of reindeer. His hand slides around a hoof and Castiel squeezes it, smiling.

Suddenly a window rushes open, slamming. Castiel flinches, the ladder teetering underneath. “What? No, no -”

“Merry Christmas Cassie!”

“ No !”

Castiel falls, plastic and metal scraping across his roof and drowning out his screams. Before he hits the ground, Castiel sees Rudolph flying into a nosedive. Hurdling closer until the reindeer is all he sees. He blinks, and the world fades.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Tentatively, Castiel opens his eyes. Fights against the ten pound weights stretched across his face to re-enter consciousness. He groans, first from the overly bright lights shining above him and next because of a dull ache biting into his side. Castiel tries to rub his eyes, except he can barely find the strength to do so.

“Well… look who finally decided to join the party,” a voice drawls from the left, “It’s about time, really.” It takes too much effort for Castiel to turn his head so few inches. He scrapes together the energy and, in the process, answers important questions knocking around his head.

Like where was he? A hospital, no doubt, given the sterile white walls and medical equipment lying around. And the hanging television playing holiday reruns of, ironically, Doctor Sexy. Unfortunately his smolder doesn’t evoke any of the warmth and comfort it usually does. Pain takes prominence, especially when he moves. Castiel cannot glimpse the damage, but the amount radiating from his right worries him. What he can view are tubes criss-crossing around him and the sickly man hunched over the bed to his left: the owner of the voice. In need of a distraction, he focuses on him.

He watches Castiel with curiosity and tired amusement etched into his features. Pallored skin glistening with sweat, each freckle prominently on display like stars above a city suffering a blackout. The man wears a similar dressing gown to Castiel’s, accessorized with a bucket clutched tightly in his lap. “Hey,” he says, lips trembling, “you feeling okay?”

“I feel like shit.” Castiel’s gravelly voice sounds more so from disuse, croaking the reply. The other man chuckles from nearby, agreeing with his amateur diagnosis. Laughter becomes hacking, and his face disappears into the bucket for a moment. When the echoing coughs stop, the other man emerges. Castiel continues, “How long…?”

“Not sure,”  he shrugs, “I was rolled in earlier because they had nowhere else to place me…”

“Place…?”

“There’s not really a wing for food poisoning victims,” the other man explains, “they had to stick me where they could.”

Castiel skews his head to the side, stuffing it further into the pillow. “Food poisoning? You’re in the hospital… for that?”

He glares at him, wrapping his arms tighter around the bucket. IV scooting closer from being tugged. “Listen, pal, I didn’t think I had to be here either. But apparently I’ve got the white blood cell count of a newborn so… here I am.” His head falls back into the bucket. “Be lucky you missed the massive crap volcano that erupted out of my colon.”

“I doubt it was because of luck…”

“True,” his roommate sighs, rising from the bucket once more, “being under for most of it was more drugs than luck. Kind of grateful, though, because then you didn’t hear me yell, grunt, and curse throughout it all… Until…” He blanches, fingers dipping past the rim, “until I just told you.”

Castiel arches a brow, smirking. “Why did you?”

“Because I had no one to talk to this whole time and I hate silence,” he tells him, “Been narrating the past few lonely hours.”

“You’re… not tired?”

“Too nauseous to sleep, really.”

“Even after all that shitting?”

The man rolls his eyes, feet kicking freely underneath him. “It was some pretty rotten eggnog,” he says, “and Sammy promised that vegan crap was all kosher… didn’t see him or Eileen drinking any.”

A little bit of energy jumps into Castiel as he digests the tidbit of information. “Vegan eggnog put you in here?”

“Vegan eggnog and a bad case of the flu,” he defends, “I’m usually made of stronger stuff.”

“So am I,” Castiel says, “Hardly ever sick… once my entire family got bogged down by a nasty virus and I was the only one who managed to remain healthy. Was their nurse for an entire month… schlepping from one house to the next making sure they were feeling better.”

“Then I guess they can return the favor,” his roommate offers, “especially since what happened to you trumps any cold.”

Castiel’s good mood dips low, and his body sags with the reminder of their situation. “Right,” he says, “Uh… exactly what happened to me?”

The man pauses, grin slipping into a tiny frown. “You mean you don’t know? Or… remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Hell I doubt I’d ever be able to forget if that happened to me…”

“What are you talking -” Castiel chokes, dam bursting and the memories flooding over him. He shivers immediately, hospital gone and replaced with the blustery winds from outside his house. Snow falling in clumps from above, doing their best to bury him. Already he thought a blanket of white crushed his chest.

Then Hannah’s face pops into view. Scared, speaking in a way that Castiel cannot fully understand. She’s on the phone, gibberish grating to his ears. So he lolls his head to the side and watches his other sister, Anna, shove at Gabriel with a monstrous expression on her face. The one she wore when it meant their brother dug a hole so deep he couldn’t climb out of it. He remembers smiling, a few of the words cutting through the ringing in his ears to reach his brain. ‘Idiot’, ‘thinking’, ‘killed’, and ‘prank’ are all he heard.

Nearby the burgeoning fight, his friend Kelly tries her best to talk to Jack. Castiel’s nephew won’t tear his eyes away from him. Lazily he shooed him off, trying his best to help. That only brought more focus onto him.

“No, Castiel,” Hannah said, clear for the first time. She wrangled his arms to the ground with haggard breaths. “Keep them lowered to stem the blood flow.”

“Blood flow?” he asked, “What do you mean, blood -”

Blood. So much of it, trickling from where an antler punctured his side.What he thought was snow revealed itself as the broken figure of the reindeer that fell from Santa’s sleigh alongside him.

Face intact, torn from the body at the neck, its black, plastic eyes trapped him. Made it impossible to look away. Even when the paramedics finally arrived and began asking him questions, he answered in a daze. When they removed the decoration, Castiel followed the head with his own until it disappeared from sight.

The next sequence of events plays in pieces. Being patched and carried into the ambulance, Hannah choosing to go with him. Her answering questions for him. Any allergies? Only to shellfish. Medical history? Until now, spotless. The calm, automatic doors at the hospital that betray the urgency of any situation. Doctors and nurses in festive gear descending and doing their best. A prick in his arm and the fuzzying of his senses.

Waking up in a strange room, with a stranger affected by serious food poisoning who has gotten up and leans way too close.

“...come on man, I’m so sorry,” he says, “I thought you knew. I didn’t know - when I asked she said you should be fine. They fixed you up really good, able to save the kidney -”

“My kidney?” Castiel gasps, “It… it hit my kidney?”

“Punctured it in three different parts,” the man tells him, “all clean entries, plastic intact, so no serious problems.”

His mind recovers from the panic, gripping onto the facts presented like a crutch. Thankful for the assurance, but also curious. “How do you know this?”

His roommate’s face shifts from pale to deliriously red, and he shuffles a few steps back. “I… I kinda asked the nurse when she came to check on me?” he winces, “you were still out cold and… there’s nothing really on TV except Christmas specials. If you ask me the last thing I want to be reminded of is Christmas while I’m stuck here…”

Dosed again with a bruising reminder, Castiel finds his injuries doubling and heart plummeting. “Stuck in the hospital on Christmas… it is Christmas, right?”

“Well…” the other man shrugs, “almost. It’s Christmas Eve, but in a few hours…”

“So I’ve been out for an entire day?”

“Seems like it. At least you’re up, from how the nurse put it you were going to be under for awhile - at least until after the holidays.”

Castiel scoffs, “A Christmas miracle…”

“Hey, could be worse.”

“How?”

“Imagine waking up alone,” the man says, squeezing his shoulder, “without this handsome face to greet you.” He winks, charm sparking like a flickering lighter. One that fails easily since a disturbing gurgle cuts through and makes his flirty expression shift into disease. Flies away from Castiel towards the bucket on his bed and bends over it, exposing the festive boxers hidden under his gown. While aware of what his roommate does, it can’t dull the warmth caused from his wink nor the sight of his shapely snowflake-covered ass.

Castiel squeezes the blanket, averting his gaze when the measured pace of the heart monitor picks up slightly. Careful not to disturb the tube he’s sure is lodged to help him pee. Measures his breaths and thinks of horrid things to stem the blood and direct it elsewhere.

Finished, the other man flips and wipes at his mouth. “Here I thought there was nothing left in me,” he gasps, “Sorry you had to see me like that.”

He shrugs, cheeks burning. “You needn’t apologize, you couldn’t help it.”

“Yeah… but I mean, I at least know the names of the guys who I ralph in front of.”

“You mean you didn’t ask for my name when you did my medical history?” His roommate stumbles slightly, tripping over his words in a rush to defend himself. Castiel savors the brief awkwardness before paving over it. “Castiel. My name’s Castiel.”

“Castiel?” The man’s eyes gloss over while processing the name, a look Castiel was oft familiar with.

“It’s… not the most common of names,” he grins wryly, “My father named me - and all my siblings - after characters from his favorite book.”

“What books was that?”

“The Bible.”

Nodding, his roommate drums his fingers against the bucket. A different sound since it’s slightly full. “I mean, it is a good book. The good book.”

"Exactly."

Silence drifts over while they awkwardly bait the other to continue the conversation. Castiel wins, patience one of his virtues. Not the first he waited someone out, and it won't be the last. “So was he one of those religious guys?” he asks, tapping the form of a cross, “Or a… religious guy ?” The balled fists stacked on top of each other, like holding a sign, is easy to interpret.

“Neither,” Castiel tells him, “he got wrapped up in this cult when he was younger, the one Rose McGowan was a part of. When he finally left, he didn’t really give up on the faith. And… well, he already named half my siblings after angels. It’d be stranger if he stopped after Anael -”

“Anael?”

“She found a workaround,” he says, “Anna. Better than my brother Lucifer who chooses to go by his full name. The only one who lucked out was Hannah who got the most normal name of my siblings. Why he couldn’t do the same for me I’ll never know.”

“Hey, Castiel’s a cool name… bet the angel you were named after was a badass,” his roommate smirks, “ I was named after my grandmother, Deanna.”

“So your name’s Deanna?”

“ Dean ,” he purrs, the name curling perfectly under his lips. Teeth flashing in a suggestive manner like its done probably hundreds of times in the past. “Dean Winchester.”

“Well,” Castiel mirrors his expression, “it’s nice to officially meet you, Dean Winchester .”

Dean wiggles his bucket, bowing slightly. “Likewise, Castiel…”

“...Shurley -”

“Shurley. Castiel Shurley, right right right.”

He giggles, enjoying the full body production Dean performs. Attempting a casual facade, crossing one leg over the other while he leans on one hand. The other firing an imaginary bullet from his finger gun. Except he forgets the hand leaning was perched on the bucket, and Dean starts tipping. Vomit sloshes inside the bucket and, after precarious teetering from both parties, both Dean and his bucket remain standing. No mess, but tons of stress.

“Any chance you can pretend that didn’t happen?” Dean asks.

Castiel shakes his head. “Trust me, Dean, on the list of embarrassing things you’ve done tonight this hardly ranks in the top ten.”

“Well shit,” Dean sighs, hopping up onto his bed, “At least it means I can’t make anything worse.”

“The night’s still young…”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cas.”

They laugh, only stopping when the pain in Castiel’s side nastily barges in on their merriment. Reminds him why he and Dean met in the first place. He hisses, vision blackening for a moment. When it returns, Dean is perched on the edge of his bed with worry. “Dean -”

“Are you okay?”

Castiel tries to reassure Dean he’s fine, but another current of pain shocks him. His knees buck up and the heart monitor beeps too loudly and the injured side feels like a meteor burning up in the atmosphere on its path towards crashing into the Earth. Sweat pours down his forehead and his limbs twitch in aborted movements. Dancing like a marionette, controlled by the intolerable cramping.

Minutes flash by like pages from a comic book. A cool touch brushes against his head, drawing one eye open. Its Dean. He appears calm while speaking to Castiel, but the fear is evident in his shiny eyes and trembling lips. In the throes of his pain it plants a seed of comfort, and he focuses on tending to that while dealing with it all.

Then someone rushes in, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum flooring. She removes Dean from view, taking up space and asking questions Castiel cannot answer. When it’s apparent, she switches tactics and scans his station. Finding what she needs, his savior calls to another person who was waiting by the door.

They dip into the hallway, returning moments later with a full bag of clear liquid. The woman who first ran in takes it from the one who brought it, fiddling above Castiel and out of sight. When she crosses his gaze again the full bag is empty. She shoves it into the hands of the nurse. Barks a terse sentence and orders her out.

Time returns to its normal pacing while Castiel’s body melts into the bed and the pain recedes into nothingness. His mind sharpens into awareness briefly and then dulls considerably with each second.

“Is this okay Mr. Shurley?” she asks, pressing around his wound, “Are you feeling anything at all?”

Castiel giggles, her actions tickling the focal point of his trauma. “Not a thing.”

“Perfect,” she sighs, flicking the full bag hanging from the stand in front of her. “So sorry that you had to experience that. A nurse should’ve been by to swap your morphine drip hours ago.”

“My morphine…?”

“Yes, your drugs,” she tells him, smirking, “what’s making it possible for you and I to have a conversation where you can contribute freely instead of in panted moans and grunts.”

Another round of laughter forces its way from his chest and makes his cheeks stretch awfully far. “I like morphine,” he says, “Can I take it home with me?”

“If only it wasn’t highly addicting,” she sighs, swiping at his nose with her finger, “Unfortunately no, but at least you won’t be leaving us so soon you’ll have to give it up right away.”

“Awesome...”

“If that’s all.” She nods, turning to Dean. “Thank you for paging me, it could’ve been much worse had he been alone.”

Dean sags against his bed, grin as large as Castiel’s. “Makes this food poisoning worth it, Doc Masters.”

“Silver lining to everything,” Masters winks. The doctor waves farewell, paying extra attention to Castiel. “Sweet dreams, Mr. Shurley.”

“Bye bye…” Castiel says, head lolling towards Dean, “What did she mean by that?”

“By what?”

“Sweet dreams?” he slurs, “Does she think I’m going to fall asleep?”

Dean’s expression softens, and he drifts closer to Castiel once more. “Yeah, you will. Morphine’s already pumping strong… shouldn’t be long until you’re back under and I’m… I am alone again .”

“ No ,” Castiel whines, throwing a tantrum. Not a good one since his limbs fly without his input, wiggling like jelly. “I don’t want to go to sleep.” Dean calms him, guiding his wrists to the bed.

“You don’t have a choice in it, Cas,” he says, “but… it’s nice to hear you want to stay with me.”

He agrees with Dean, heating up again in a delightful way. “You’re very nice… even if you throw up a lot and can’t handle vegan eggnog.”

Dean scoffs, “I can handle it, when it’s made well. But it’s not my first choice. Give me meat any day.”

“I love meat.”

“We have that in common, then.”

“Do we?” Castiel asks, skewing his head to the side, “You enjoy intercourse with two penises or more, too?”

He chokes, grip on Castiel’s wrists wilting. Dean gapes at him, color draining from his face for an entirely different reason.

In the seconds between his outburst and Dean’s answer, Castiel mulls over what he said. Clarity shines through his foggy mind and he realizes how personal a question he asked his roommate, a practical stranger. His high fades under the sweltering self-consciousness, Dean’s proximity less intoxicating and more anxiety-inducing.

His heart monitor either beeps too fast or not at all since he can’t tell if the ringing in his ears is from it or borne from the screams he refuses to release.

Thankfully Dean starts talking, and the voice inside silences. “I… I’ve never had the opportunity for more… my experience cuts off after two.”

The fuzziness resurfaces with a vengeance, strengthened by Dean’s answer. Caught off guard, Castiel hums. “Oh, well… it’s fun. But, also difficult.”

“I’ll bet.”

“Are you interested in leveling up your experience?”

“Actually,” Dean’s gaze dips towards Castiel’s lips, trailing up to his eyes slowly. “I’m… I’m more of a two-dick guy. Mine and… I don’t know?”

“You don’t know?” Castiel frowns, “that’s depressing.”

Dean laughs like a sad, twinkling bell. “Yeah, it sucks not knowing which other dick you want your dick to spend the rest of your life rubbing up against.”

Castiel nods, “Even more when you’re the only one without a second dick or a vagina to love you unconditionally. And no matter how successful your life is your family looks at you like an awkward throw pillow. They don’t know what to do with it or where to put it.”

“Exactly how it feels,” Dean says, “I… it’s not easy being lonely. Especially around this time of year.”

“But we’re not lonely,” he tells him, “we have each other.”

“That we do Cas… that we do.”

Potential sparks to life in Dean’s eyes, fascinating Castiel. He stares intently into them, watching the verdant fields in the other man’s gaze burn. No intention in calling the fire department to douse the inferno. Castiel wants to watch it forever.

Every blink becomes heavier, harder to remain open with the weights sliding across his eyes. “I don’t want to go to sleep.”

“You need to,” Dean says, “so you can get better.”

“But won’t you be alone again?”

“Nah,” Dean smirks, “it’s like you said. We have each other.”

“Good.” Castiel yawns, stretching far enough his toes peek past the blanket. “I… I really think I should go to sleep now.”

Dean agrees, peeling himself off of Castiel. He shivers with his absence. Castiel stops fighting against the morphine and allows it to drag him into unconsciousness. Dean’s face the last thing he sees when his eyes shut for good.

--------------------------------------------------------------

When Castiel wakes up again, he’s surrounded. His family sit on an assembled pile of chairs, chatting in festive gear while he stumbles into awareness.

Jack notices first, clapping on his mother’s lap and smiling with missing teeth. “Uncle Cas! Uncle Cas!”

Conversation stalls, and every face in the room turns to him. He smiles weakly, waving his hand off the bed as far as he can. “Hi,” he croaks, “how’s everyone doing?”

Gabriel laughs tiredly, scrubbing at his face. “Shived by Rudolph and he’s still thinking about others. Doesn’t that just jolly your holly -”

“Zip it Gabriel,” Anna whacks his chest, “you more than anyone else don’t get to make jokes about this.”

“Oh come on!” he cries, “The doctor said it was a non-threatening injury!”

“Because we called the paramedics,” she says, “and, by luck , your dumb prank only managed to cost him a kidney.”

“Not even! They said it would heal -”

“Guys!” Hannah interrupts their bickering, “Can you save it for later? Maybe after Castiel tells us how he feels?”

Reminded of his presence, his brother and sister sheepishly offer apologies. Castiel forgives them easily, especially his brother. “While it was stupid, I’m not dead.”

“Glad to hear it -”

“But,” Castiel continues, smirking, “I do expect a lot of attention and care… just because I’m willing to forgive doesn’t mean it’s easy to forget. Or move… or pee, I’m guessing.”

Gabriel huffs, crossing his arms. “Should’ve seen this coming.”

“Oh be glad,” Kelly says, “out of everything that could’ve happened, this is the best you could ask for.”

He relents, accepting his fate for the present. Satisfied, Castiel relaxes in bed while conversation resurges. This time filling him in on what happened while he was stuck in the hospital. From muted celebration on the Eve to a rapid exchange of presents in his house so they could arrive when visiting hours started.

“We might have left a few to open when you came home,” Anna admits, “So you didn’t miss all the fun.”

“Thank you…” Castiel holds his tongue, preferring the others to continue without his input. Finds comfort in how bright and cheerful the room feels with their presence. Reminded of a similar feeling, adjacent to the one overtaking his heart, Castiel looks to the other side of the room.

Only Dean’s bed is neat and empty. Not even the bucket was there.

“Wait,” he says, “where’s Dean?”

“What?” Gabriel asks, following his gaze, “Oh? Is that who that was? Didn’t know you got so chummy with your roommate, Cassie.”

“Where is he?”

“He left,” Anna shrugs, “Doctors came in an hour after we arrived to give him the news he was free to go.”

“And he left with this giant of a man!” his brother says, “it was terrifying, truly, seeing someone that massive.”

“He was really cool, Uncle Cassie!” Jack says, bouncing, “He bought me a candy bar!”

Kelly sighs, trying to contain Jack’s energy. “So nice of him…”

“So that’s it?” Castiel asks, frowning, “he just… left?”

Hannah reaches across and squeezes his hand, mirroring him. “There wasn’t any reason for him to stay longer, Castiel.”

He deflates at his sister’s care, her good intentions like a needle to his ballooning happiness. Castiel sighs, tugging his hand free of her hold and folding it over his stomach. “Yes, I… I guess he didn’t.”

No one dare speak, the adults in the room trying to process how Castiel’s mood shifted. His usual defense, to cover disappointment with a carefully constructed mask, doesn’t rise up inside. Whether from the remaining morphine swimming in his system or overall tiredness, Castiel prefers allowing his feelings to play freely across his face.

Memories from last night are fuzzy, but he remembers the important things. How friendly Dean was, and caring. Comforting him when it wasn’t necessary, when he had his own troubles to deal with. The possibility he represented, created thanks to the unguarded confessions brought about by drugs.

He’s drawn from his memories of Dean’s smile by a knock on the door.

Doctor Masters stands there, a smile on her face and a stuffed bear in her hands. Castiel squints at the gift, a heart in its paws and a Santa cap on its head.

“Why hello there Mr. Shurley,” she says, stepping into the room, “glad to see you’re awake again. And not in pain.”

“Thank you,” he says, “I… Am I going to be in pain again?”

She shrugs, “Not likely. I checked up on you an hour after we switched your drip to make sure it was all okay. Got to talking with your roommate and he said you were doing fine until the pain became too much to bear. So I’ve decided to start weaning you off the good stuff, and giving you enough to not feel much but still be present.”

His face softens. “Exactly what I want.”

“Speaking of presents…” she smirks, fiddling with the bear, “someone asked me to give this to you once you woke up.”

Gabriel immediately teases him, shaking his shoulder. “Cassie, you sly dog. Did someone ‘While You Were Sleeping’ you?”

“I, I don’t -”

“Why don’t I leave this here, and you can process it without me,” Doctor Masters says. She places the bear on his lap, walking towards the exit. “I’m only the messenger. Besides, there’s a lot more people in this hospital besides you.”

He misses her goodbyes, examining the bear. Studies details like the red and white scarf wrapped around its neck and the poof ball at the end of its hat is shaped like a plus sign. The red heart has a message on its surface, ‘Get Better Soon’, and one between it and the bear.

A white envelope, easily lost in the white fur of the bear. Castiel frees it, giving the bear to a waiting Jack. He reads the name on the front and his stomach flutters with butterflies emerging from their cocoon.

CAS

“Well,” Anna urges him, “you gonna read it or what?”

Flipping it around, he sees the envelope is barely held together by a piece of scotch tape. It opens with no trouble, the card slipping out and into his hand.

The cover has a replica of the bear drawn on, holding its heart forward. Words tattooed to the heart in the stuffed animal balloon to the top of the cover, taking up a lot of the tundra scenery.

Castiel passes it, more interested in what’s written inside.

Dear Cas ,

Merry Christmas! I wish I could be there to see you wake up, but I know today is supposed to be spent with family.

Thank God it’s only one day a year.

If you want to meet during any of the other three-hundred, sixty four, here’s my number. I hope you call, because I think I’ve found the second penis I want to spend the rest of my life with .

He closes the card, dragging it to his face to hide the blush and skin-splitting face threatening to add more definition to his chin. His behavior only fans the flames of his family’s intrigue, both Anna and Gabriel leaning too far forward in their seats.

“Well,” Anna starts, “who’s it from?”

Castiel waits for his face to cool, and then says, “It’s from a friend.”

“A friend ,” Gabriel chuckles, rolling his eyes, “Like we’ll believe that.”

“He is a friend!”

“He’s also a Christmas miracle!”

His family laughs, and Castiel finds himself joining. Too filled with joy to find their antics annoying. Instead he jokes alongside them and, when they’ve calmed down, explain the night’s events and his secret Santa. Counting down to when visiting hours end and he can make use of the number inside the card.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

[shesawriter39049]

|FAMILY TIES| M| MAFIA AU| 2

SMUT/ANGST 

SUMMARY: A powerful alliance made up of 4 families spanning over a decade, is suddenly turned on its head when one family has a new leader after an unexpected death. Well let’s just say he’s not down to follow the somewhat civilized rules your families have inforced. Sooo now, it’s game on…

THIS CHAPTER IS VERY STORYLINE HEAVY AS FAR AS LUXX & TAE ARE CONCERNED.... BTW

15k 

WARNINGS: HMMM, DIRTY TALK, ORAL( M/F GIVING AND RECEIVING) SLIGHT LINGERIE KINK, LIGHT CUMPLAY, OVERSTIMULATION LIGHT DOM TAE, FACE RIDING, CAR SEX...KINDA LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His eyes were studying yours his whole aura seemed..different…the way he looked at you was a lot softer now as his touch also changed, it was more so him needing to make sure you were calm. As his hands rubbed light circles along the small of your back, he could feel you start to melt into his touch. Yes, this was your life..the only one you knew but that didn’t make shit like this any easier. 

Letting a deep exhale release from your lungs, your hands found their way into his hair reconnecting your lips to his taking advantage of the moment. He could feel you smile into the kiss and that let him know you were good. He chuckled lightly against your lips ,still not breaking the kiss, the way he caressed you in his arms just screamed “That’s my girl”.It was like..he could sense that you were at ease, because he was there, and you had his back, down to start a fire the minute he was. 

His hand snaked up your neck, pulling you in tighter, as he deepened the kiss. Mr.Kim couldn’t control himself around you tonight, and you weren’t complaining it was rare, that he got like this and you loved it. letting himself get completely out of his head and just live in the moment with you. But the moment came to an abrupt halt once as your body jerked from a sloppy ass turn the driver took a low grunt leaving both of your lips in aggravation as you tried to keep your cool. Not a smooth driver by any means, shit it felt like you were a second away from slamming into the door. Currently questioning if you were in a game of bumper cars to be honest, because that would make a lot more sense. 

In all honesty he was driving like he was nervous, another rookie mistake. Neither of you would ever feel uneasy by one of your driver’s skills,even if they were doing 130 down a dead end they were always smooth. Also, as the driver sometimes you don’t know what happened or why your picking someone up. The less you know the better, that way if ever questioned, the honest response is “I was just told to drive”. So with that being said, your driver wouldn’t speak without being spoken too, which so far is the only rule this rookie is following properly.

Taehyung called it off rip …he was just probably some guy, who was broke and needed some cash. He’s not valuable to Marco, he doesn’t know much, and on top of that he’s terrified, not only of fuckng up but more importantly his passengers.The two of you were known to do some pretty serious damage together if need be. You could go from danity and vulnerable to heartless and lethal within seconds. Which is why it was crucial for him to go undetected, if the two of you caught on he didn’t stand a chance. Little did he know he blew it the minute Taehyung got in the car. You watched his brow furrowed in frustration at his ammature driving, the grip on your waist tightening, you could tell by the look on his face he was beyond pissed. Ready to snatch his ass right out of the driver’s seat, and end this pathetic excuse for a kidnapping or whatever the fuck it was..he wasn't impressed to say the least. As bad as Tae’s temper was,he wasn’t a loose canon. Even though this guy seemed like a complete cake walk, unless you two were in immediate danger there’s no way Taehyung would make an impulsive decision like that with you in the car. Even the slight risk of you getting hurt because of something he did would ruin him. He hid it well, but him being protective over you goes way deeper than just the family business. 

Knowing he had to find a distraction so he could stop envisioning repeditaly bashing this man's head into the window until his skull was in dicetable pieces. I guess he’s lucky his favorite lady was already on his lap.. Reclining your back to rest against the driver’s seat with a mischievous smirk which he read you clear as day..you two were about to give this rookie the ride of his life. One of his favorite things about you, no matter how girly you were..hair, nails,makeup, high heels..you weren't afraid to play dirty.  

“Oh, by the way I bought you something…” his hands roamed up your sides as you kicked your brow up out of curiosity. Your dynamic had changed over the past almost 6 months, all of the built up sexual tension finally came to a head after the two of you closed a pretty dangerous deal is Sao Paulo. The leftover adrenaline coursed through your veins as he had you bent over a balcony 20 stories up. Hand around your neck, he fucked you until you couldn't even see straight, and once your legs gave out he laid you on chaise lounge and kept goin… But that’s about all it was, Taehyung somehow mastered the art of not getting in his feels,but every once in awhile his heart would pick a fight, and lately it’s been knocking him on his ass. 

You knew he was just trying to make small talk..but he’s never just randomly bought you something, unless it was like food,liquor, or a hotel suite “I actually bought it a while ago,but ya know, you just had to be a fuckin brat” His words came out almost in the form of a growl as he coyly reached in the pocket inside your coat, sliding your 9..down your sleeve. Which drapped on the floor, cradling it in your hand, due to your jacket hanging off your shoulders, the gun and your hand were completely covered.

Rolling your eyes not even bothering to actually verbally give a response,which only made him chuckle. He really wasn’t phased by you he’s known you damn near your whole life, he just..ya know.. wanted to choke your bratty ass sometimes that’s all.

“Clearly you still haven’t learned your lesson..” You felt a hard smack on your ass but you knew it was coming, keeping your eyes trained on his as you just shrugged nonchalantly in response. Trying to play it cool but he left one hell of a sting, already feeling the heat start to pool between your thighs.”But I feel like I’d be torturing myself more than you …” Adjusting his tone slightly, the arousal dripping from his lips clear as day, it as insane the cast that hung over the two of you right now. The energy that radiated between you did not reflect the situation you were currently in whatsoever! God you loved the way he looked at your body, as he massaged up your thighs it was like you could physically see the affect you had on his own, as he slowly let himself go piece by piece.

 “When I saw it I knew you’d look sooo sexy...while your pretty little mouth was wrapped me…ass up…wearing my favorite pair of Louboutins” The smoothness in which he delivered that you honestly couldn’t even be pissed at him assuming he’d get his way. He definitely had a lingerie kink and you knew It was a piece from Agent Provocateur, it was one of his favourite brands and he wasn’t shy to pick out what he liked. But typically it was while you were already ordering, he’d never done it on his own before! On the surface the two of you may appear to be 100%  lost in your own world, completely unaware of your surroundings. All the random side turns this twat rockets taking down side streets. But Nah, you were well aware, just waiting until the time was right, while having a little fun in the meantime. 

 You weren’t going to let him know how genuinely happy the idea of him lingerie shopping made you, not the way your ego was set up. “And who says that you’ve been good enough to have my lips wrapped around your dick Mr. Kim?” Cocking your head to the side slightly capturing his gaze with yours, as a cocky smirk landed across his lips. Lacing his tongue against his plump bottom lip as he readjusted your position on his lap, rolling his hips up into yours. 

“We both know, especially tonight …I’ve been more than good my baby …” Fuck how was it possible for his voice to get deeper, digging his nails into your ass through the thin fabric of your dress. Signaling for him to scoot closer he leaned in for a kiss,the grip on your waist got tighter as he already knew what was coming. Slowly creeping your hand up the back of the driver's seat strategically placing your gun between the gap in the head rest causing the hammer to make a slight clicking sound as the muzzle hit his neck . Granted this was not an ideal position but you’ve done this long enough, were you could make it work.

Your tongue still hadn't left Taehyung's until you both felt the car come to a complete stop, as he gasped in utter panic once he realized what was happening and at that point Taehyung had enough. “Alright, fuck this..”The whole car jerked, while he gently removed you from his lap, it still amazed you how quick he could switch gears. He went from caressing you to slowly fumming in the matter of seconds you watched him grunt, rolling his eyes in frustration as he quickly climbed over the seat hopping into the passenger side as you adjusted yourself still keeping your gun at the back of his neck. “Keep drivin…” Surprised by how relaxed his tone was in comparison to the look on his face. Taehyung searched him quickly before taking his own gun in one hand and his phone in another .

“Amature move number 10 sweetheart, you never. stop. driving…” you whispered out boldly against the skin of his neck as your lips brushed his ear. Tae couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you ,he thought you were the sexiest thing he’s ever laid his eyes on . Even if his pride wouldn’t let him admit it this man was becoming so consumed by you it’s unreal! Accidently catching his gaze, it felt like your heart stopped for a moment when you realized the way he was looking at you. The moment was short lived though, regardless of the situation you were currently in. You should’ve known better than to think Kim Taehyung was allowing himself to actually fucking feel more than a orgasm.

 “She’s right, for all you know she could’ve just been fuckin with you. None of my men would’ve stopped driving, or jumped when I gouged at the seat nor would they have made that sloppy ass bang around the corner…..so I‘m only gonna ask this once...and don't you dare lie to me. I’m really not in the mood for games tonight, what fuckin’ character sent you?!“

Lucky for the driver in the midst of all this one of Taehyung’s men called, so he was temporarily distracted leaving you to deal with it.Signaling to you with his gun, which let you know he wanted you to continue his interrogation, while he was preoccupied.  His delivery was just..fuck..…it always did something to you when he was doing business he was so stern and such a fucking man!! He never had to yell for people to know he wasn’t to be fucked with! He’s a pretty boy who likes designer things, yet It was so effortless for him to balance the two, he could look like a Blue Blood or a guy from The Dot, and have respect from either party. 

Before you even had a chance to open your mouth, his eyes shot back in the driver's direction, I guess the nano second of silence was far too much for Taehyung to handle ”Did I not just say, I’m not in the mood for this shit? The fucks the matter with you?”Grazing the hammer with his index finger, cocking his head to the side while his tongue grazed his teeth. His accent that sat typically mild on a day to day basis, always grew even thicker once he got frustrated. Even faint, in combination with the deep rich tones of his voice..you were ready to get on your knees whenever and wherever he wanted. Granted this probably shouldn’t be running through your mind while you guys are technically in the midst of being kidnapped with a gun to a man’s head.  But that’s the kinda shit that runs through your mind regardless of the situation when your dealing with Kim Taehyung.

Believe it or not, this man was either stupid or..just..well stupid because he still stayed quiet , which at this point you assumed he was playing the same game they all did and you weren’t in the mood . “Oh for fucks sake, spare me with the “I’d rather die than talk” bullshit please ! Trust me this mother fucker doesn’t give a fuck about you, it will get you nowhere!” Your tone was cold as all hell reflecting no type of emotion, you’d been through this far to many times for you to even be slightly amused. 

Suddenly the energy around you felt suffocating..something just didn't feel right, and in that moment...all your patience flew out the window. Knocking the muzzle against the back of his neck even harder this time, causing his head to jerk a little when you still got NO response. You flicked the lock with your finger until it clicked which immediately got Taehyung’s attention because that sound meant you were about to release from your register “Your a second away from your organs being splattered along the dash kid” Raising your tone out of pure frustration, but it didn’t take you guys long to realize that it actually sounded like he was almost…crying? Well, fuck, clearly this wasn’t going the way you anticipated, completely dumbfounded who the hell kidnaps someone..and then has a mental breakdown!? 

The look on both of your faces mirrored the same level of confusion, I.E WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON!?

 “Jesus kid are you crying, seriously!?” Ducking his head down slightly trying to get a better look at his face “Seriously?? Am I getting punk’d or something!? How old are you?!?” Pulling the drivers hat off ,flicking the light on. To your surprise the tone was, calm, and warm actually,complete contrast to how he originally approached him. An almost sympathetic sigh left his mouth when he looked over at him, this kid looked like he was barely 18!  The word “kid” was used very frequently in Boston, but buy no means did you actually think he was actually barely legal!

“Of fucking course!” You whispered out low in frustration and slight disbelief, shaking your head, as it now was all starting to make since. He wasn’t just a rookie he was a child, you guys didn’t do business like this..unless they were  in the family you didn’t involve kids. Even though you felt bad you still didn’t remove the gun, deep down you knew this wasn’t some trap, Marco just didn’t give a fuck, but you were trained to never underestimate anyone! Just wanting someone cheap … that was easily impressionable, and disposable.

This life wasn’t for everybody that’s for damn sure, on the surface it looks great, the money ,cars,planes, trips you name it. But it does something to your spirit, after some of the shit that you see in this line of work. I know it sounds cliche but it's true..your never the same…God forbid your in a position where you’re the one deciding if and when someone will take their last breath. You gotta have a strong ass heart,and a lot of the time you almost gotta act like you don’t have one at all, and it’s hard still…even for you two. Mr. Kim could attest to that better than anyone…

In this moment not caring how young he was…Taehyung was getting pissed that he hadn’t answered his question! Like I said there's a time and place for everything, he didn’t expect you to worship the ground he walks on. But in a situation like this when Kim Taehyung asks you a question you answer, simple as that.You watched his head cock to the side, eyes extremely focused on the divers mannerisms, you couldn’t tell if he was enraged, or concerned, as he was still on the phone with one of his men. All you could do was hold your breath and pray he didn’t do anything crazy

.“Alright, you know what?  I‘M done, I’m done with this conversation! I don’t care who fucked up were..just fix it! Jhonny,put me on speaker..” pausing taking in a couple slow breaths, using his index and middle finger to pinch the bridge of his nose, almost indicating the conversation was giving him a migraine and knowing Taehyung’s lack of patience..it probably was  

“Alright boss..” 

 “If you guys are smart, you’ll make sure nothing else goes wrong tonight, I’m not in the mood for this amateur bullshit! Oh by the way you mother fuckers literally let me get kidnapped by a kid that can’t even grow fucking facial hair! Get your shit together!”  Tossing his phone down on his lap, letting out a deep sigh in aggravation as he ran his fingers through his hair. His phone went off almost instantly once he hung up, probably sending him directions. 

Still, in the midst of all that he stayed dead silent in the drivers set, jaw cinched ..trying to look tough, yet you could see how glossy his eyes were, they were probably burning from him trying to suppress his tears.  “Alright, well now that i’ve clarified my men are incompetent and you’re probably not even old enough to buy cigs..pull into this parking lot, then your gonna pull out…bang a uey, and we’re going in the opposite fuckin direction.”

His delivery was so chill it was almost comical, there wasn't even a hint of concern in his voice, already well aware the driver would follow his instructions. You watched his shaky hands pull into a lot of what appeared to be a diner . Pulling out, and doing exactly what was instructed of him “Good boy …” He coaxed and it seemed to put the kid at ease “Make a left at the next light. “ . Taehyung knew what he was doing, purposely waiting until the driver seemed a little calmer before he started to ask him questions.. “Ok. I’m gonna say this one more time, and if you don’t respond I’ll revert right back to that motherfucker I was when I first got up in the front seat . You're already pushing it because my biggest pet peeve is repating myself...yet here I fuckin go soudnig like a damn parrot!”

 He kept is tone low and stern but still he wasn’t yelling, it was rare he did. “If I’m being honest I don’t care how young you are I’m not the one that hired you.  At the end of the day the job you accepted put her life in danger and that alone is enough for me to bash your fuckin head in.” Cocking his head to the side leaning in a little closer as he tried to read the kids expression. Barely centimeters away from this kids face, a knot forming in your own stomach just from observing..you heard him sniffle and clear his throat .

“I-I didn’t do anything to your driver by the way , I actually don’t know where he is ...the car was empty when I got in it” He paused needing to focus on the road but you also knew he needed to calm down. 

“After you make this turn your going to stay straight for a while . Then hang a right into the gas station…Keep goin..” The combination of warmth in his voice and of course pure fear encouraged him to actually continue 

”I’m- I’m 18, he comes to the packie I work at, I just turned 18, and the day I did my foster mom put my ass right out! I -He asked if I wanted to make some quick cash …he just said I’d have to drive a car. I had an hour to get you guys to someone else..”  It hurt more than you thought to hear this young kid say what the both of you already knew, which is that he was just a pawn in Marco’s game. But both of you became slightly intrigued the more he spoke, he knew Marco probably didn’t deal with him directly but did he know a name? A location? ANYTHING!

“Shit I’m screwed , I had one job ! One FUCKING job ……then you get paid..that’s all I had to do…that’s all I had to do..” you heard him whisper out the last part,actually almost sounding like he was outta breath. Repeatedly it like a prayer, both of you zoned in on him, making sure in his sudden panic he wouldn’t suddenly try to do something irrational. This was all in a day’s work ..at the end of the day he had a job to complete and so far he hasn’t, at a 9-5 that could get you written up or fired..in this line of work it could get you killed.  

You watched Taehyung’s expression change slowly, he felt bad, really bad. “Shit man, “ Tae huffed in frustration running his fingers through his hair “You know there’s a chance he’ll kill you if you don’t bring us in right?” 18 or not Taehyung wasn’t going to sugar coat it he’d rather you be braced for the worst then leave you in the dark . His eyes glanced over at him and he just nodded.

”Yeah, but I don’t have much here, never have it wouldn’t be shit for me to use the money I have and hop on a greyhound or something..” He was trying to sound strong but you two saw right through it ,he probably barley made $10.00 a hour. All the money he had would probably only cover the bus ride and one night in a motel .

  “Pull in here …” he instructed as calm as ever noticing his blacked out Jaguar parked behind a semi. You could feel the car start to slow up, before actually coming to a complete stop right in front of the driveway, he was having second thoughts, I mean not that you blame him. “I really wouldn't do this If I were you” you heard a deep slow exhale leave Taehyung’s body as he adjusted his gun in his hand “Don’t push me, would you prefer I just let you pull the trigger yourself? Because you essentially digging your own grave right now, pull. in.to .the driveway...now.”  Taehyung’s voice was barely above a whisper but the authority behind it spoke volume as his eyes cut over to the drivers, You felt a knot form in your stomach..praying the driver wouldn’t do anything stupid. You watched his grip get tighter on the wheel, knuckles flushing the palest shade of ivory,  the headlights caught Taehyun’s men’s attention.

Two of them started walking over..trying to see what was taking so long now it was 1 against 4. You watched his eyes flutter as he let out a low defeated sigh while putting the car back in drive, once pulled in Taehyung’s men were quick to yank him out the car, slamming him against the hood “HEY! Mazda..chill he’s just a kid..leave him be…I got this…I got him…”  shoeing him away as he stepped closer. Once Mazda released him you watched him drop to the ground it was almost like his entire body caved in.

Taehyung walked over, opening your door “Hey,Can you go stand by my car baby doll? I just need to have a quick word with our little buddy over here..” 

Your brow immediately arched so much attitude laced across you face as you crossed your arms against your chest..for one..the pet name threw you off..and two since when are you not allowed to be in on business conversations? Incase he forgot you were BOTH kidnapped, he detected you weren’t pleased letting out a deep huff, leaning down sliding his tongue into your mouth effortlessly. Forcing his way in with such ease..it was so quick you were almost confused it happened, yet somehow he was able to explore what felt like every inch of your mouth.Causing you to moan against his tongue, it was crazy how easily he could get to you now.

”Please, I need him to talk and I don’t want the two of us tag teaming him...promise I’ll fill you in once we leave...” His plea came out in a low whisper.. As his hand massaged the back of your neck…how could you say no when he just kissed you like that, more importantly he was right. This kid was fragile It was clear that Tae cracked his shell a little, in more ways than just utter fear. Letting out an exaggerated huff as you hopped out of the car, but of course because your, you a dramatic exit wouldn’t be complete without you rolling your eyes at him. In which he just chuckled while you swayed past ,placing a quick pat on your ass as you headed towards his men .

Taehyung crouched down in front of the kid, that was now sobbing. Planting his hand on his shoulder “Hey..” his tone was somber trying to get his attention ..”I’m gonna help you out a little..you can keep the car, my men will give you a new plate and some cash…but I need you to help me out first…” His eyes widened..after hearing that. In all honesty he probably did not have the money for a greyhound, and if he had a car…he could maybe sleep in that instead of a motel and save money. 

Nodding his head eagerly in response “What the fuck was this about?” Pausing for a moment not sure if he was having second thoughts or just trying to get his thoughts together, so Tae thought he’d try to coax him along “Listen, If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done it already…and I still can, Not to sound like a total dick but what happens to you once I pull out of here has no affect on my life.” 

Pausing purposely really wanting that resonate with him, making sure he understood that Taehyung really didin;t have to help him.

“I’m trying to help you, but I need you to help me too..do you understand?“ Still keeping his voice calm even though at this point he was about out of patience this boy had about 2 seconds to speak…and it was clear he picked up on it 

“Yes….” His almost passive response was met by Taehyung's unforgiving glare, play time was over..he needed answers. “I-honestly don’t know the reason…the guy who comes into the packie they call him Zeb, but I don’t know if that’s his real name. it’s-it’s not like they told me hey we’re planning a shoot out, but I was at the party the whole time as a server. They told me to go in and interview, I guess they were hiring more people for just that one event .I -I did have a que to leave..it was prior to the shootout..so I guess that technically clarifies they were in on it.” 

Taehyung’s eyes studied him as he talked, watching his mannerisms, his eye contact..eye movements..even the way he was fidgeting. Trying to see if he seemed..genuine or rehearsed “Only other thing I know is Zeb is usually always with someone, but the day he brought me my clothes the car was different. Memorable I guess? Typically he was always in something I don’t know more low key..this one was an old school candy apple red corvette…I don't know if that helps but..that’s all I got, a possible name and a car...I’m sorry. I’m just really sorry...” Throwing his hands up while letting lout deep exhale,body still trembling slightly but Tae could tell he felt relieved to get that off his chest. To  be honest, it didn’t really help, the problem is..Marco probably had new men because none of Leos would help and Tae didn’t know any of them yet. But the car was definitely something to look out for, and he could also do some snooping on Marco’s soilders at a later date.

Giving his arm a squeeze before standing up with a slight smile,abruptly signaling  for his men to come closer “Jhonny, Benny search the car first, make sure there isn’t anything we need…before he leaves. I want a full z30 on this bitch, head to toe! Twice if you have to, run over it with a BL when your done to double check, also leave him with a envelope…” Finally bringing his gaze over to this child, not even asking him,what his name was. I guess Taehyung felt he deserved to keep that to himself, he was already thrown into way more than he bargained for. He seemed so overwhelmed by it all, I don't think it really set in until now. “Take care of yourself kid! Use the money wisely…just lay low for a little Im sure this will all pass ” 

The boy sniffled and nodded, “Thank you!” Was all he was able to croke out before turning back to Jhonny for further instruction.

While you stood posted against his car, you were actually too far away to hear what was discussed, his face had you curious. A couple guards, were sprawled around you after what happened earlier they’d be damned if they let you out of there site.  Walking up to you, grabbing your waist pulling your body into his, massaging your ass in his palm, fuck it felt so good to have him like this. To have him this close outside of sex…don’t worry you still knew better but fuck it felt good. 

 “Were about to head out,you wanna run in there and grab yourself something to keep you Preoccupied before we go?” Waiving a 50 in your face, with a slight smirk. Snatching it right out of his hand like a big kid as you skipped into the gas station. His eyes immediately shot over to one of his men, in which they took the hint with the quickness to follow you into the store. The minute he heard the door close behind you, the base in his voice echoed throughout the almost empty lot, he was cutting into his men, hard. While you were picking out all of your goodies you heard a couple loud thuds outside not even wanting to know what was happening .

The sound clearly startled the clerk as he went to check outside, and you knew this wouldn’t be good. Both yourself and his guard ran out behind him, only to find Tae, striking the icebox with his fist. Each grunt that left, his chest subsided little by little. “Hey! what the hell do you think your doin man!?” 

Shit, shit shit, he actually yelled at him,  clearly he didn’t know who he was dealing with.. I mean yes obviously Tae is destructing his property so he has every right to be upset this just..fuck this  wasn’t a good time to address him in that tone of voice. “Nothing to see here man I’m just leavin..” His tone of voice was alarmly calm in contrast to the blows he was taking to the iceox as well, as his bruised,slightly bloody knuckles. God he had such nice hands why did he have to fucking attack the icebox!  His eyes gazed up at the clerk jaw tight, while his hand rested on his hip, suit jacket, no I’m sorry let me specify his Versace suit jacket was on the ground in front of him. 

The sarcastic chuckle echoed across the empty parking lot “Are you fucking kidding me!? You’re damaging my property and your bitch over here has a bunch of shit in her hand she didn’t pay for..” You went completely wide eye and actually speechless at the derogatory slur as you honestly didn’t realize you had the stuff in your hand, before you could even say anything you found yourself distracted by Taehyung. You watched his expression change it was almost like he backed out, strolling towards the clerk slowly..too slow actually “You know what man..your right I’m sorry let me pay you for the damages..” None of you expected that..his tone even changed..it as lighter..a slight smile moved up is face, as he cranked back decking the clerk dead in the face. He was literally on the ground, blood oozing out his nose, while Mazda reached over to grab Taehyungs blazer off the ground. 

Tae singinally for you to come in his direction with his middle finger and you followed. Purposely stepping over the “gentleman” as you walked, lightly digging the heel of your red bottom in his abdomen as you amouvered over him. You heard he rasp our the word “Bitch” causing to to turn around, pressing your heel firm against his throat, until he was damn near crying “I’m sorry  what was that!? Yeah like I thought, who's the bitch now!”  Tae’s grip on your arm was damn near the only thing stopping you from legitimely gouging his adam's apple out with your shoe!

“I really should come back and unload a good 15 rounds through this bitch!” Pausing slightly..letting his eyes scan the perimeter of the gas station “Actually..meh..I still might..oh have fun getting that nose realigned, you got a bit of a hump anyway..maybe they can even that out for ya!!“ Turning away slowly taking his time strolling back to the car, hands stayed connected to your  waist the entire way, his grip was firm, wasit flesh to your ass.  As dysfunctional as it may sound, seeing each other in this element was one of your biggest turn ons you’d consider it a knink but I dont ink there a “mob/mafia” kink list.  Both of you guys equally powerful, and dangerous in your own right. He felt just as secure with you as you did him!

The plan was standard...simple, Taehyung would drive you two himself, but one of his men wouldn’t be more than 10 feet away as you guys commuted through the city. The drive from the gas station to the bridge was about 35 minutes. Upon crossing the bridge the other 3 cars would tail him as he crossed into the city.  The driver that would ghost him the whole drive had a very standard car, just a black chrysler 300 nothing that would seem suspicious or draw attention, under the hood it was a damn monster but he the surface it was low key. Taehyung on the other hand, he was a different story, not sure why they brought this particular car for him. It was a matte black Jaguar F type, it had racing tires and a turbo engine and sat lower than it’s supposed to. Point being it looks like a race car, you just felt like it would draw attention to him, not too familiar with who ran this territory as well as how clean there cops were. The car just screamed “Money..” so you knew he would catch people’s attention just out of curiosity. Taehyung’s tires alone were enough to get him flicked, but he was a drifter, so more than likely he asked for this one.

All four cars pulled out together and actually stayed in a straight line a good 3 miles. So much had gone on you didn’t even know what time it was, the party started early..around 5..so between that and the commotion it was only pushing 11 at night. Taehyung’s hand found a firm grip on your thigh as he drove.. Not saying much, and you were fine with that, you knew he had a lot on his mind right now. You felt his palm starts to massage your thigh, slowly making its way higher, and higher..eyes fluttering over in his direction while his stayed focused on the road. The sound of some form of R&B floated through your ears in the background, you were tensing your thighs not giving him what he wanted. You could feel, his nails digging into you until you spread your legs the way he wanted. 

“God your so damn sexy....” Always down to give you endless amounts of praise.

Letting his index finger sooth up your slit and your eyes glanced over at him, his jaw laxed and his neck reclined, there was nothing sexier than the way he reacted to your body. You could’ve sworn he was the one getting pleasured with the form of euphoria he was in. His fingers rocked up and down your clit  ,rubbing gentle circles, you could phsycaly hear how wet you were …his fingers were damn near sticking to you. “Tae..” Reclining back in your seat, letting your eyes flutter shut as you spread your legs even further, the needy cry left your lips as he slid two fingers in.

 “Baby, your already soo fucking wet, fuck, goodamn” His voice was so calm., and so smooth, as it laced through your ears, it was almost like you could feel every words course through your body. Going in knuckle deep making you slouch down completely in your seat, tightening your walls around his fingers “I know you fuckin love it when I get angry, You were standing over there with no fucking panties on just dripping down your thighs weren’t you baby? This pretty little pussy was just throbbing for me..” He continued to work you with his fingers, adding a third, as he curled them against you.

“Yes, fuck you already know how much I love it..oh my god you feel so good!” He continued to work you, while you felt yourself run down your thighs and his custom leather seats ..until you heard the GPS cut in letting him know he’d be turning in a half mile. You knew at that point once he entered a main road he’d need to focus. Needing him to stop before you got any closer you took a firm grip on his hand pulling his fingers away and lacing them into your mouth with a moan, purposely as you knew how much he loved that…a hiss left his lips as he watched  a slight chuckle leaving your lips as you pulled away. His hand landed right back on your thigh, still keeping a firm grip on it,, almost as if he didn’t want you to forget what he could do at any second..You watched him approach the fork in the road and you knew that’s where they’d separate. The road was quiet..didn’t seem like there were too many business on this side of town slightly rural.

While stopped at a light you both watched a black car pull out a lot and turn into the lane to your right, it was a standard cadillac, the windows slightly tinted . Neither of you seemed concerned Taehyung’s eyes did cut over quickly just out of habit, once the light turned green the car hesitated, it was almost like he purposely waited to go, wanting to be a couple feet behind Taehyung . It didn’t take long for one of his men to notice as he creeped up his speed a little to lock in the space behind him, incase this guy tired too. “Who the fuck are you..” you heard him whisper out to himself, he didn’t seem concerned, moreso intrigued.

 ‘Don’t worry boss I see’em” The voice that came through the speaker was Mazda, Johnny and himself are Taehyung’s right hand soldiers and he was also one hell of a driver. Taehyung sped up purposely to see if the other driver would react and he did. The grip on your thigh got tighter and you already knew you needed to make sure your seatbelt was buckled as tight as it could. “Once the light turns green, I’m blowing all of em the next 4 miles ..” He spoke into the speaker , Mazda didn’t verbally respond but you heard him pump his gas a couple times, causing a mischievous smirk to move up Tae’s face “Thatta boy..”.

The minute the light went green, he eased into it..staying at a steady 40 for a minute before quickly moving up towards 90. Blowing through the next 2 lights, as he approached the 3rd he clearly had a split second decision “Hold on love” He was still pushing 90 when he cradled the wheel in his hand, making tight, tightttt turn, completely spinning around in the center of the road. No other car would be able to handle a turn like that, thank God the road was pretty much dead or else you probably would have shit a brick with how fast he whipped that turn. Driving back in the opposite direction, before making a quick right down a side street. You heard tires screech and a slight thud, which Taehyung ignored if anything, the caddy hammered the break trying to keep up with Tae and whip that turn and Mazda purposely tapped him to give you guys time to speed off. His eyes glanced down at his Gps, noticing 2 streets down, was a dead end residential cul de sac. Easing down on the gas he turned down the side street. Upon approaching a stop sign he knew he needed a place to lay low for a couple minutes. 

One if his best skills is being quick on his toes deciding he was  going to his left,pulling up just enough to turn around. Shutting his headlights off heading down the side street, in reverse,not even sure if you could breathe at this point. Bagging into the driveway of the house at the end of the street. All the lights were off but it as clear people were home, fingers crossed know one looked out there damn window. “Where did you go!!?” Mazda finally spoke out probably tired of trying to find him. Taehyung had a tracker on the car he was driving but no one had one on his. Not trusting the possibility of someone snatching one of his mens work cars.

“I see you, stay where your at..I’ll be….” Pausing mid sentence watching a car creep down the opposite end of the dead end,but he actually had his lights on, another rookie move. You could tell by how slow he was driving he look for you two. “There ya go..keep drivin’ buddy..”  you felt his hand massage up your thigh, just trying to keep you calm. Squeezing his hand a little to let him know you were still good, even though your stomach was in 23422 knots you were still good. “Find me a busy Main rd, now! Unless you want to just start firing rounds at every damn car that looks suspect , so yes that means I’m firing rounds at every fucking black car I see …” you could hear it in his voice , he was tired, cranky,and fed up ! In his mind there’s no reason he should’ve been in this position to begin with. You watched his GPS reroute him, keeping his lights off until he made his way out of the subdivision. Once turning onto a back road, you watched Mazdas car pull into the left lane and it wasn’t long before that Cadillac was back.

“Alright buddy you wanna run , we can run !” Taehyung pressed on the gas , he could see a pretty busy intersection approaching at the end of this backroad.“How much do you trust me ?” He quickly glanced over at you honestly not sure if you wanted to respond.

 “Ughh, Fuckkk, more than I wanna admit ,why?” He could hear the timidness in your tone, not responding just smirking down at you with a dark chuckle that made your stomach turn. Reaching down to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers with his, he could sense you were nervous..pulling your hand up to his mouth leaving a couple delicate kisses. Fuck who was this man!?? Because this is not at all what your use too..Once the arrow turned green to approach the intersection he hit the gas to damn near a hundred and so did the Cadillac “Fuck Tae!!” You gritted our through clenched teeth. This street was busy really busy, as he weaved his way through lanes . In and out, in and out until he got were he needed to be, at this point the cady couldn’t keep with his his speed, skill or the aerodynamics of Tae’s car which allowed him to do this so effortlessly. There was only one turn needed before it was a straight shot to the bridge . The light was yellow , and you guessed it he blew it , turning red right as he was turning , taking a tight grip on the wheel spinning, damn near doing a burn out into the turn lane. “Kim Tae-fucking -Hyung” you damn near  screamed at him and all he did was laugh as he barely merged you two in between a truck and a semi that was also pulling into the lane from a gas station. 

It felt like your heart was in your damn pinky toe as you waited for the light to turn green. The minute the tail of his car pulled into the lane a truck blew by, if he miscalculated even by an inch you two could’ve been dead ! He smiled his big boxy grin back at you , and you couldn’t help but laugh “Shit Tae I almost pissed myself! What the fuck!” Punching his arm playfully even though in all honesty he deserved it . Leaning over placing a ton of messy kisses all over your face as you tried to swat him away, to be honest you did love the adrenaline rush, it didn’t take long for your yelling to turn into laughing!

Remember how I said he wouldn’t make impulsive dangerous decisions with you around? Well that was only if he wasn’t the one in charge, Taehyung was genuinely calm the entire ride. He knew how skilled of a driver he was and how much his car could handle. Even if it didn’t feel like it to you he was in control the entire time. The ride to the bridge the rest of the way was smooth . His men all tailing him when needed, the drive into the city was still another half hour though, the windows were cracked while Taehyung’s playlist streamed in the background  the cool airbrushing  over your skin made you doze off at some point. Glancing over at you periodically as the wind dusted over your body, you looked so beautiful and so peaceful, he literally wanted to scream, he found himself squeezing the wheel tighter than usual. Almost purposely wanting to inflict more pain on his already pulsing hand. How did he let himself get to this point with you? And why can’t he snap out of it tonight? It seems like everytime he catches himself, he slips right back into it.. He spent the entire drive home trying to wreck his brain, to rationalize what happened today. There just didn’t appear to be a point, it all just seemed like a waste of money and what was accomplished? Between the shoot out, ,the attempted kidnapping, AND who the fuck was in the Cadillac, and the red Corvette? Was this maybe a distraction for something bigger? Or was Marco just really this incompetent? Or were you two wrong was it even Marco? Who the flying fuck is Zeb!? The fact that nothing made sense..was unsettling to say the least, maybe that was the point…to make everyone feel uneasy…

Waking up to a couple airy kisses on your neck “Come on baby…” He whispered against your skin as your eyes fluttered open, you almost thought you were dreaming actually. He never used the pet name outside of sex, clearly he must be fucking delirious and exhausted … vision still a little blurry as you watched him walk over to open your door. Then you realized where you were, Taehyung owned a gentlemans club a really nice one actually it was in a 3 story brick loft, he had a secret penthouse apartment on the 3rd level. That only certain people knew about , it looked like something straight out of Aricturtial Digest . But due to the location Tae never kept anything..of value here, which may sound mind boggling as this place was lavish as all hell but the nice couches, the custom bed, full bar, walk in glass shower and blah blah blah, that didnt mean shit to him. Important stuff he stored, like pictures of his mom and family, gifts from his parents, family airlumes , that’s what mattered. Which he kept at his house which was gated , completely isolated and heavily watched. At the end of the day, yes this man loved a good Gucci suite but he knew what really mattered in life, and it wasn’t all this material shit. There was a separate closed off entrance to the building..it took you down alley..which was sandwiched between the club, and a packie that was beneath a small apartment complex. Your families owned the complex under a alailas LLC name as well, a lot of Tae’s soldiers lived in that building.  There was “secret” back entrance ,a double sided iron gate, you walked through to a covered courtyard esque walkway that lead to the back door of the building in which you were both greeted by one of his guards.

 “Bengie’s here by the way!” ..Bengie..short for Benjamin…slang for $100 bills..Bengie’s real name was Hoseok, he was there best launders, money, drugs, you name it, you figured he must’ve been here to either do a pick up…or a drop off on a run he just complete. He wasn’t to be fucked with, as he was also one of there cleaners if need be. Meaning if things got messy and someone had to be taken out….Bengies your man. Which is insane that he dose such a gruesome job because when this man smiles your face literally feels compelled to do it with him, like you don’t have a choice.

You two walked down the hallway,this wing of the building is where all the business that did not pertain to the actual club took place, The smell of expensive cologne and cigars hit your nose“ Hey, I need to make a couple calls, hang out here for a minute then will go upstairs for the night okay?” His tone was almost somber has he stroked your face, he knew you were tired..just nodding in response, as you continued to stroll down the hallway. Upon looking to your right you spotted a familiar face, the room was guarded instantly stepping aside once you go closer “Damn, they actually let your ass back over the border!?” Leaning against the door frame with a slight smile on your face as he glanced over at you. Always in black and always wearing sunglasses. He was tall. Not super skinny either, had a pretty good build on his, Dark locks that typically sat parted to the side, occasional falling in his face. Like Taehyung his skin also always kept a warm olive complexion but Hoseok in contrast to Tae, held a much thicker accent when he spoke. “Hi lovely” Smiling back at you as he strolled over giving you a warm hug. He always smelled amazing and he was fine, damn fine, but unlike Jimin and Namjoon, he was someone that could call Taehyung Tae Tae and he would answer. So you’ve never even entertained the thought no matter how good he looked! Also more importantly he had a lady..her name was Lola, but you all called her Bunny. On the surface she was a ballet  instructor but behind closed doors she was one of the accounts within the circle.  

Unlike Taehyung, he wouldn’t live in fear, no he didn’t broadcast it but it wasn’t necessarily a secret either.“I heard you two had an interesting night..” 

Scoffing in response as you ran your fingers through your hair“Yeah something like that, I still don’t get what really happened, just seemed like a damn mess to me ”

“I literally wanna rangle his throat, I can’t stand the kid, I already told Tae next  time I see him I’m knocking his ass out, bottom line!”  You watched him stuff some packages in a black leather YSL overnight bag.

 “Where ya headed?” 

“Hong Kong, then I’m stationary for a little bit. Thank God Bunny’s ready to kill me..” Smiling over at you as he continued to pack, still blew your mind that he did the type of work he did..he just doesn’t look like the type. But that’s what makes him perfect for the job.

‘Hey Luxx? V said he’s ready when you are!” Almost jumping at that offer god you were so ready to get in bed.

 “Okay tell him I'm on my way..” The guard nodded before stepping out and you walked over giving Hoseok one more hug before you left. You hugged him tight, you always did, he had one of the riskier jobs and you just never know..you never know. As cynical as it may sound, in this line of work, nothing promised, nothing.  

He chuckled a little once he felt the grip you had on him “Don’t worry sweetheart, I always find my way back home..You know this! I got too much to come back to, to go down without a hell of a fight!” Glancing back at you with a wink before giving you one of his infamous big smiles, that again it was impossible not to do in return.

~~~~~~~~

The two of you made you way up to his apartment, ironically it always seemed like you ended up here around the same time frames . After 10 when one or the both of you were feeling needy. Like I mentioned it was beautiful the man had great taste. You could either take the stairs or a private elevator both were key coded, and I believe his apartment door was literally bullet proof. Not that it mattered there was always a guard posted outside the door. It was a very open floor plan, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, a walk in closet, full bar, gorgeous hardwood floors with high ceilings, exposed brick throughout.Taking your coat and shoes off you sat on his plush California King, when you watched him stroll over in your direction, only removing his suit jacket at this point slowly placing his hands on your waist “So, I know I said we could go to bed..” the minute he said that you rolled your eyes…already knowing were this was going “ Butttt…I gotta meet with Hoseok before he leaves for Hong Kong…” You couldn’t help but pout, you understood but you were feeling selfish you didnt care you needed him your thighs were still throbbing.

 Picking up on the oblivious pouty lip he climbed on the bed hovering over you, letting his lips brush over yours “But, go get in the shower, relax a little and when I get back up here….” He started leaving kisses down your neck, sucking down on the already bruised skin from earlier in the night. “ You know I’ll take care of you, I always do. I’ll eat your pretty little pussy until you come so hard you can’t see straight..” He breathed out against your neck as he hand crept up your dress, Teasing your slit with his middle finger as you arched into his touch.

 “Tae..” The breathy cry left your lips, as he slowly slid two fingers in , rocking them back and forth..pulling out to lace his tongue around them. Licking your juices off his fingers like it was the best thing he had all day “Soo fuckin good” . A cocky smirk left his lips as you whined once he pulled away

“I promise I’ll be back baby! I’m gonna turn on the shower for you before I go, if you need me call me, but Brice is posted outside the elevator if you need him.” You heard his voice echo off the marble walls of his bathroom. Placing a quick kiss on your forehead before heading out the door.Far too tired to dissect the sudden subspace he seemed to have crept into were he actually acted like he had feelings. 

Rolling out of bed you walked into his bathroom, it was all gray and white marble, his shower big enough to fit about 10 people and it had 4 shower heads,. Throwing your hair in a bun you stipped down before stepping in the shower. Just sitting down on the bench letting the water and steam consume you as you tried to relax. You stayed in there for maybe a good 20 minutes the sinks were on the opposite side of the room behind a wall, wrapping a towel around your chest you walked over wanting to brush your teeth before getting in bed you noticed a familiar box. It was from Agent provocateur, you felt like a kid on Christmas. Who didn’t love surprises, you honestly we’re not sure if he was serious or not when he said it in the car. it was really sexy that he wasn’t afraid to pick out what he liked. It was a 4 piece set, a bra, suspender, panties and thigh highs for the suspenders to hook through. All 3 clothing pieces had black trim, the actual material was a mesh tuell, so the bra panties and suspenders were completely see through with slight black and silver glitter throughout. The underwear were a cheeky fit, and the bra had amazing support , the pieces just hugged every inch of your body perfectly.. Taking your hair out of the bun, lathering your body in lotion before putting the pieces on, giving yourself a couple one overs in the mirror. You couldn’t even deny it, you looked good, damn good! Walking out of the bathroom, strolling into the bedroom you were too focused adjusting the straps to the suspenders to notice was was standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and you instantly snapped up, eyes meeting his with a slight smile as your ran your fingers through your hair, strolling over to the bed slowly, making sure to let your hips sway as you walked. He watched your every move carefully  as you readjusted on the bed, reclining on the bed slightly keeping your eyes locked with his.

You’d never get over the way he looked at you in moments like these, it’s what kept you coming back. When the two of you had sex, all his walls came down that’s when he was vulnerable and affectionate, the first time he ever called you baby was when he buried deep was inside you, hand around your throat making you cum. Typically that’s the only time you heard that name until tonight.. You watched his eyes trace over your slowly , letting his tongue trace over his bottom lip taking in every inch of you. God you looked even better than he imagined . Still leaning against the door frame, hand in his  pockets, head resting against the wall he hadn’t said anything yet and it was killing you . It was like he could sense it though the minute you went to speak up “I don’t know why you’re staring at me like that you know what position I want you in . You’re only torturing yourself I’m sure your already soaked, lay the way I want you…” His voice was so calm, yet so assertive, and he was right you were already soaked, the sound of his voice alone did things to your body that you couldn’t even explain. You could tell the mood he was in tonight, not wasting any time your rolled over,  crawling up the center of the bed. Getting down into one of the deepest arches you could! You heard a deep growl leave his chest as he walked towards you . 

His hand soothed up your ass slowly before slamming back down on it hard causing your whole body to jerk. “Don’t make me have to tell you what to do next time, you already know what I like..” You felt the bed shift as he crawled up the bed , lips finding their way up your back as his hands massaged your shoulders, Letting his hands palm your hips and he gently grinded his clothed body into yours, just teasing you for the hell of it. Digging his thumbs into your sides “Fuck your so perfect, god. Look at you.” The sound of his voice almost like he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe he got so lucky. Marveling at how amazing you looked in the mesh material, how confident and sexy he could tell you felt in it. His hands moved up the front of your body, massaging your breasts through the thin material as they traveled. Letting one hand find a place around your neck, With a firm grip he pulled your body against his, making you flesh with his chest. Reclining your neck against his shoulder as he sucked on the skin beneath your ear. His other hand teased your bottom lip as he watched you suck his fingers into your mouth, a slight moan leaving your lips.

“Your so damn sexy you know that? ” his words coming out almost as a moan as he rocked his hips against your ass, sliding his fingers out, creeping past the hem of your panties to  massage your clit. Digging your nails into his arm your neck rolled back on his shoulder, grabbing the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.  He kissed you hard, lacing his tongue against yours as you moaned out into his mouth, deepening the kiss bringing his hand up to cup your face, while his other left your core to squeeze your ass. “Bend over for me baby..” Re adjusting your body in the same deadly position ou started in, like he said earlier he loved you ass up , lingerie. Grabbing both thighs he let his hands roam your body, starting by massaging your hips as kissed his way up the back of your thighs. Slowly making his way over to your ass alternating between kisses, and digging his teeth into the sensitive skin leaving small little reminders that every inch of you was always his regardless.

Breathy moans left your lips and your hands palmed sheets in anticipation “Baby , have I ever told you how perfect your pussy is ?” Before you could even respond you felt his finger hook the material out of the way.. his lips kissed up your folds . While his hands massaged your ass, you could hear him moan against your core. Always sounding like he was genuinely enjoying pleasing you at first they were just simple kisses, the feeling of his plush lips along your core. Then suddenly his tongue got involved and your whole body jerked away from him  , as you were caught off guard by the sudden feeling causing his hand to slam down hard on your ass again . Rule number one when he was in control he was in control unless he told you to move you didn’t move. 

“Tae..” the cry left your lips so faint as you face meet the bed, keeping his tongue flat and complete extended from his mouth he made multiple slow long, strokes up and down your slit, occasionally teasing your entrance with his tongue. The grip on your ass got tighter , your body was still subconsciously jerking away from him, it had been literally almost 2 months since he tongue was on you like this, and you were so sensitive. “Be a good girl, you can take it..” Letting his tongue roll against your clit before sucking it in his mouth completely , while he effortlessly slid two fingers in, you were already dripping down his face.

 “Oh fuck.” You felt your body jerk again but this time you accidentally slid further down on the bed, which was a mistake because it actually gave him better access.  It felt like your mind went blank when he touched you, nothing else mattered all you could focus on was how fucking good you felt. As he continued rocking his fingers against you, long enough to hit all the places you needed while the moans leaving his mouth sent vibrations echoing through your entire body.

“God you have such a pretty pussy, always gets so fucking wet for me, taking my fingers so well..” He praised against your folds, which only made you tighten your grip around him “Arch up more for me baby, come sit your pussy on my face..” God the sound of that set your stomach on fire , flipping over on his back, he reached out for your hips. Placing you right were he wanted you. He always preferred for you to ride his face from the front, because then he could see every expression on your face. He had you your body slightly elevated so his fingers could access you as well. Snaking his hand behind your thigh sliding 2 fingers in slowly curling them upwards as he wrapped his tongue around my clit . Sucking in slowly and your entire body immentially tightened around him, thighs already starting to spazz.

Rolling his tongue up…and down ending the motion by wrapping his lips around the tip of your clit suctioning his lips around the nerve humming out, radiating vibrations through your core. . Treating your clit the same way he did your mouth, his tongue, licked, sucked, twirled, it’s way around every inch of your most sensitive area.“Oh-myyyy-fuckkkkk” it felt like you were straining to get words out, your body reacted to him like its been years since you been touched..like this. 

Arching back slightly letting your hands roamed up the front of your body before finding their place in your hair as you started rolling your hips up into his mouth. Which he fucking loved, this man lived for you to ride his face. Reclining your head back,as your eyes fluttered shut .It felt like he placed his entire mouth on it , his tongue moved slow but wide …it was like he was getting in …every inch of you. Placing his tongue directly on the head of your clit ,flicking it…toying with you a little giving you the sensation of anticipation, your body jerking against his tongue every time. Occasionally teasing at your opening siding his tongue in:..and out …”God yes, fuck baby…”you were starting to grow more and more sensitive as he let his tongue mercissily attack your clit.

Thighs trying to clench around his head involuntarily, you could hear him growl against your dripping folds as your juices ran down your thighs and his face , as he’d yanked your legs apart so you weren’t restricting him. His hands steady massaging your thighs, moving to cup your ass so he could push you closer into his mouth.,You could feel him start to slow down and you wanted to cry you were so close and you knew exactly why. Looking down eyelids heavy only to find him looking up at you as he rolled his tongue against your core . He loved  eye contact …every time  you’d look away he slow down or smack your ass.. “Good girl” His words came out gravley against your center as he slid his hand back under your thigh to continue working you with his fingers. The base in his voice sending waves through your body “Fuck ..baby dont stop, don’t-“ As your msucles started to tense, his motions got more Intense sliding his finger out making you sit completely against his mouth before just applying steady pressure . Sucking on your clit until your entire body unravled above him and he didn’t stop .

Your body collapsed down on the bed over him as you clawed at his sheets, not even able to cry out anymore while your entire body trembled. Your mind was still hazy,you almost felt high you were on such a wave right now.His hands found there way to yours  intertwining your fingers with his, but don’t be fooled this endearing moment was also a way to keep you put.  He could feel how hard you were shaking and he didn’t ease up, keeping his lips pressed against your clit as he left faint kisses up and down your core, wiggling his fingers free, his hands roamed up and down your back as you tried to remember how to breathe. Wiping his face with his hand, as he smirked up at you.. Rolling you over gently he hovered over you, kissing your forehead, while massaging your thigh. Leaning down letting your lips connect to his, the taste of your juices fresh against his tongue as you moaned out into the kiss. 

Panting against his tongue, while your chest felt like it was collapsing..thighs still spazzing even as you laid flat on your back “Breathe, baby breathe..” breaking away from the kiss to press his lips over every inch of skin he could reach in an attempt to calm your body down. 

The moment was great until outta nowhere you heard a loud bang on his door the two of you couldn’t help but jump as his apartment was completely silent prior, “You have got to be shitting me..” He rolled of the bed beyond furious grabbing his gun off the table before walking over to check the monitor to see who was at the door. It was one of his guards and…Namjoon? You heard slight conversation but you couldn’t make it out, your body too weak to care honestly.

“Hey Luxx? Can you come out here for a second? “ Jumping of the bed, almost falling actually as your legs still felt like mush, grabbing a robe before tilting your head out of the room 

“You have got to be shiting me! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for your ass!? Why is your phone dead!?Do you realize I could be sleeping or,getting fucked right now!? Instead I’m not I’m here but clearly you did so at least one of us are happy!” He was furious,But Taehyung and yourself couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at how angry he was.. and then it clicked, you kinda sorta forgot to call your dad. You stared back at him completely blank, I mean what the fuck was there for you to say? You fuked  up.. 

“Really luxx? You know the way Sunny is! Are you trying to get my dick cut off?Have you forgotten how much you beg for this thing?!You heard me tell him I’d-!” Even Though his tone was slightly playful he was serious, he promised your dad he’s get you out safe, so it wasn’t a good look by any means that it’s going on 230 in the morning and he hadn’t heard from you. He was honestly probably planning Taehyung’s funeral as we speak. 

“Shit, I know, I know,I’m sorry, I’m really sorry tonight was just..a mess! Joonie  call my dad please.“

  ‘Sure..” His tone was beyond dry he was officially done with you for the next few days at this rate. Placing the call on speaker you heard it ring, and your stomach turned 

“Talk to me kid, did you find her?! God I swear If not I’m gonna kill Tae-” 

” Hi dad…” Trying to sound as sweet as possible but that shit wasn’t flying…’

“Are you fucking kidding me !? God your lucky your my baby girl because if you were my son I’d bash your head in in right now, I’ve been having a heart attack! If it wasn’t for Taehyung having the common sense to at least call HIS father. I wouldnt have a clue where you were! Shit Y/N..I’m just..” The more he talked the calmer he became...originally his tone was on 10..damn near screaming through the phone “I’m glad your okay especially after what happened with Park Jr tonight!! I just- I’m just glad your okay…!”  his tone now went from calm went  to almost..exhaustion but the more important thing in all of this ..what the fuck happened to Jimin!?  

All three of your faces reflected confusion and concern “Dad…” Your tone indicating you needed him to go into greater detail…there was a slight pause before he continued which only had you more concerned .

“He’s fine, at least in comparison to the guy who tried to hit a lick on him. I don’t know for sure..he got a phone call from someone who he thought was one of the caregivers…but apparently it wasn't…” Your brow furrowed in, in frustration, and confusion honestly. He was being very vague which was frustrating to say the least 

“For what? Tree? ‘ Taehyung cut in. Your father let out a deep sigh it was clear he didnt wanna get into this tonight.

 “It was laced, purposely it was a special batch that was intended to go overseas..actually it’s one of the batches that’s supposed to go with Hoseok…Which I’ve already dealt with by the way.”   You all still stayed quiet, there were too many missing pieces to this story. But more importantly, somethings wrong..really fucking wrong how are people suddenly infiltrating your circle so easily!?

“Alright, well with that being said, meet at the ferry at 1..were going to the Island to meet Dino for dinner..please don’t call Jimin let him rest, he’s still a little bruised up, he will be there tomorrow! Luxx, baby I love you, Taehyung, thank you! ..thank you..Joon, sorry she wasted your night! “ He hung up after that, abrupt and in true Sunny fashion, granted it was pushing 3Am though. Still he didn't even wait for any of  you to respond, because he didn't want one. Not in the mood for a million questions while you 3 just kinda stared at each other mind fucked. 

Dino was Leo’s brother, the island was private property and you guys owed a ton of land over there, and ran some of your business on that side of town. The air stayed silent until You heard a morbid chuckle come  Namjoon’s direction “Tomorrow’s gonna be fun..well, it’s late, as hell and I’m exhausted so I’ll see you guys at 1 ….apparently! Lux I’m still mad at you..but I’m just glad your okay!” You smiled back at him,. Reaching over to give him a quick hug mouthing out “I’m sorry” as you pulled away.

  “V, always a pleasure man!” . Once he walked out, Taehyung’s eyes cut over to you, He was pissed, his word was all he had, so he still wasn’t happy that you never told your dad you two were okay..even if it wasn’t until you guys back to his apartment that’s still been damn near 2 hours! He didn’t say anything as he grabbed a glass off the counter, that had some sort of Bourbon as he walked over to have a seat on the couch.

You let out a whiney sigh before following  him, crawling over to straddle his lap, he wasn’t happy, not even a smile in site “Baby I’m sorry..I’m sorry…” 

Taking the last sip of his drink his brow raised in slight amusement of your whining “Mmm,you’d be really sorry if one of your uncles showed up here with a gun to my head huh?” His tone was stale, fuckk you were in trouble..You were pouting and he didn’t care, he straight faced the hell outta you. Leaning down you nuzzled your lips in the crook of his neck, while your fingers worked the buttons of his dress shirt, leaving kisses down his neck to his collarbone. Once his shirt was unbuttoned your hands went to work his belt buck, he still didn’t say anything eyes trained on yours,.Pulling the zipper down, you started palming him through his boxers.

“You can look at it all you want but it’s not gonna suck itself” There was no sense of warmth in his tone at ll yet, for some reason that turned you on even more.  He lifted his hips a little so his pants and boxers weret adding pressure, he was already semi hard, which isn’t surprising. Damn near everything you did turned him on “Don’t even think about..” you looked back at him in confusion as to why he would stop you from sucking him off “Take your damn robe off..you know better” How could you forget again..ass up, untying the rob letting it fall where it landed “If your good maybe I’ll play with your pussy while my cocks in your mouth, I’m sure she’s still soaked,  probably actually getting wetter as I speak…” His tongue laced his bottom lip as he watched your every move.

Lowering yourself, placing your tongue right at the base licking up slowly, lapping your tongue around the tip and back down the other side .Repeating the motion until he was completely coated, breathy moans started to leave his lips as his hand found the back of your neck. Once you knew he was lubricated enough you took half of him in your hand and the rest in your mouth. Placing your lips on the tip, going as low as you could before you started to gag “Fuckkk, that’s it baby…” Pulling back you spit slightly on his tip letting it drip down as you started to work the base in your hand, bobbing your head, letting your lips touch your hand every time so every inch of him was covered. Moaning out against his cock as you honestly enjoyed pleasing him hearing his low gravely moans because of you were one of your biggest turn ons. You felt him start to palm your ass with his opposite hand, still keeping one in your hair. His fingers started teasing your slit which was still drenched “Fuck baby, your still so fuckign wet, you like sucking me off baby? Does it make your pussy wet knowing how good you make me feel ? Fuck you take me soo well.” He started rocking your body as he worked you clit causing you to bob your head harder but he wasn’t too rough so you didn’t mind, as he slightly rocked his hips into you. 

“God, I love fucking your throat” Your moans against him got even louder as he started rubbing your clit more aggressively before sliding two fingers in. You keep bobbing your head and working him with your hand, as you got closer to the tip you’d suck down a little harder knowing that was his soft spot. Your eyes fluttered up, just in time to watch his close in pure pleasure as he sunk down deeper into the couch.You could feel him pushing harder and harder against your tongue and you knew he was close. Pulling back you swirls your tongue around his tip a couple time before fully deep throating him. Letting him hit the back of your throat everytime he actually loved hearing, and feeling you gag around him. You knew your limits though, almost able to take all of him in once you were warmed up enough, throat completely relaxed.

“Fuck, keeping going baby, make me cum, I’m so close Y/N fuckk..” You couldn’t even believe the sound of his voice right now it was soo deep, and breathy he was so vocal tonight and fucking loved it. You felt the grip on your hair get tighter and you swatted his hand away from your clit, you knew he was close and having him working you while you worked him was too distracting while trying to get him off. Too fucked out to even care as he looked down at you with hooded eyes. Taking him back in your hand while you worked the tip with your mouth, applying more pressure towards the tip you feel him start to throb repeatedly and you knew it, he…was cumming “Fuckkkk” he looked, and sounds so good when he comes, the words coming out in a low breathy moan as you watched his chest rise and fall. Not pulling away until you made sure you took all of it, not leaving a single drop. Releasing him from your lips with a loud “POP” as you smirked up at him, gripping your waist he yanked you up on his lap. Gripping the back of your neck, crashing his lips into yours. Taehyung  actually loved the taste of his own cum, your tongue lathered along his was the only thing he wanted while his body was fully coming down from it’s high.Grinding our hips into his as he kissed you even deeper, he was still moaning into your mouth , and you felt like you could come all over again just from that alone.

You felt him start to laugh into the kiss before pulling away “I’m still mad at your bratty ass.” A snarl left his lips as he swatted your ass, just plopping your head down on his chest, not even bothering to respond. You just sucked the life outta his dick he’d get over it. Wrapping one arm around your waist the other found you hair, gently running his fingers through the strands. Before you knew it you fell asleep,his first instinct was to move you, it felt ..too good to have you that close to him like that. But he didn’t, to be honest he needed it because he couldn’t sleep, way too much on his mind. They found his driver and he was pretty banged up. “Justin” is just a generic name for the driver, trying to keep them as close to a John Doe as possible.., he actually wasn’t sure which one of his guys were picking him up. It was Andre and he was 19…the youngest person on the team and the ONLY reason he’s involved is because he’s one of his father’s guards son. 

To make it worse it was his first and probably his last job,due to him technically getting car jacked that’s a pretty legit and unfortunately common thing so he was taken to a regular hospital. All Taehyung could think about, was due to Marcos ignorance two young kinds got fucked..he was furious ...and now Jimin. He may have technically been one of your fathers men but you guys all worked together..it took everything in him, not send his men to drag Marco back to him by the balls! It also didn’t help that he couldn’t figure out who was tailing him in that car. The one thing Taehyung always had was control…and it seemed like that was slipping away away between work and you, he just couldn’t shut his mind off. After getting zero sleep he decided to make a trip to the hospital around 6am to see Andre!

Not sure when he put you in the bed, but clearly it happened at some point also removing the lingerie  as he knew it had to have been sticky and uncomfortable by now. You were woken up by the sound of your phone having a seizure as your assistant was calling. Once you looked down you noticed it was a quarter to 10 “Yeah..” Your throat was raw as you spoke, you could blame a combination of Taehyung and lack of sleep 

“What are you doing about clothes? I’m assuming you don’t have any with you sooo..am I bringing this rack over and your makeup?” Rolling over on your back letting out a deep so breath, fuck you were still tired “Ughh..hold on a sec” You could hear the based in his voice from across his apartment, you knew how iffy he was about just anybody knowing he also lived here. So you thought you’d ask if he’d prefer one of his guards to grab your stuff. Placing the call on mute you through on a rob as you were completely naked and you didn’t wanna run the risk of someone being out there, making your way to the spare bedroom you knocked on the door frame. It was open but out of respect for his call you wanted to give him a heads up, he was speaking in his native tongue and you were pretty sure it was his father. 

Due to doing a lot of business in Korea you understood it a lot better than you spoke it, you could already tell from the tone of the conversation it wasnt good. Smiling up at you he signaled for you come in, placing whoever on hold “Yes?.” you could tell from his voice and his eyes he was stressed and tired, dressed in a all black, black fitted bomber jacket, black veck, black skinnies, black boots, and a black hat. To be honest his outfit choice was kinda casual for him, granted everything was designer and still probably 2 grand on his body but..you just knew he was in a mood, and this was going to be a long ass day.

 “I need, my clothes and stuff, well actually I guess I could get ready at my place…”  Having a split second decision as you honestly didn’t stay over long after sex not that he’d ever put you out.But let’s just say you’ve been there done that and it typically dosen’t end well. Yet his face almost looked annoyed once you said that..

“Actually I just sent Jhonny to get you breakfast from you favorite little cafe up on 22nd he can swing by a pick it up.. You had a long night.. Just relax…”  Pausing for a second as you clearly didn’t expect that, and you weren’t complaining .

“Oh..okay..thanks..so that means you got me waffles?” Your tone showed you were uncertain and he just scoffed rolling his eyes 

“Yes..” While in contrast he was clearly saying “No shit!” without actually saying it 

“Well you know I like Powdered su-” 

“ Really? Luxx get outta here I know what I���m doing!” Swatting you out the room as he stepped back on his conversation, and now you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, taking the call off mute “Hey..yeah Johnny’s gonna come get it, so just pull a couple pieces off the rack, and grab my makeup bag, the big one with the standard LV monogram has everything I need in it..k..thanks!”

Your curiously got the best of you as you lingered by the door, from what you can make out it sounds like a distributions went south. You guys dabbled in a ton of trades one of your most successful outside of drugs? Counterfeit goods, especially luxury ..the irony in that right? All the people that buy  high quality “designer” things on Amazon and AllieExpress and etc that know there knock offs, or from The Alley in LA. There's a good chance they came from your shop one way or another..even if your just the person that provided the connect..that still came at a fee. Both of your fathers owned a couple shops that produced the goods. It seems something went wrong with one of the freight trucks but you couldn’t really understand it. But since it’s business you were also involved in first hand you knew you’d hear about it so you gave up on trying to translate, heading back to his room, deciding you’d shower, brush your teeth and curl your hair since you at least had your flat iron here and hopefully by then you’d have clothes and food.

Before hopping in the shower you tried giving Jimin a call but he didn’t respond, you couldn’t help but get concerned when a couple minutes went by without him reading your text. Part of you wanted to send one of your men by his house, and or the dispensary but you decided to stop acting psycho and wait  until you saw him at 1!Halfway through doing your hair, Tae came into the bathroom, you had your headphones in so you didn’t even hear Johnny come back. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror in nothing but a sheer pink bra and panty set, of course you had a ton of lingerie here if nothing else. His hands cupping your ass as he entered the room, already having your waffles on the plate, Whipped, creamed, powdered sugar, and strawberries already on top. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he got your order right, but you weren’t going to say anything but thank you, this man’s ego is big enough. 

“Yeah I know I’m the shit, now stop doing you hair and eat, because you know if it gets cold you won’t eat it!” He was right you hated cold food and you weren’t a fan of microwaving shit either. 

“But I’m doing my hair, this is a process if I stop I won’t wanna finish..” Rolling his eyes and he leaned against the wall 

“Right, but again, your bratty ass does not eat cold food Luxx, what the hell do you want me to do? Feed you?” You actually hadn’t thought about that but it didn’t sound like a bad idea, You shrugged batting your lashes at him, a dramatic sigh left his lips and he walked towards you “Oh fuck me” you could help but laugh at his angry mumbles

 “Wow, wait till all the guys hear about what there boss did…” Smirking over at him as he picked up a waffle on the fork, eyes meeting yours completely unamused 

“If you tell anybody I did this I’m never giving you head ever again! Now open your damn mouth” Almost choking on the first part of that but you knew he was all talk he’d actually cave first.

He stayed pretty quiet at first while he fed you a couple pieces while you finished your hair, but you could tell something was on his mind  “Hey, umm about last night, -” You already knew where this was going, letting out a deep sigh as you rolled your eyes,.

“Kim Taehyung if your standing here about to apologize for actually being human for once and just living your life.I’ll burn your ass.” 

“Luxx-” He tried to cut you off, and he got off the counter..stepping back from you a little.. tone surprisingly calm in comparison to how harsh yours was but you weren’t having it.

“No dude FUCK THAT, I thought we squashed this shit MONTHS AGO!!” Your voice echoed off the walls, you were literally screaming, you never yelled at him before, not even if it was work-related. 

“ I’m so tired of this, I guess I must just be real fuckin’ stupid for repeatedly putting myself through this!! I’ve known you for damn near 17 years ! Okay, neither of us has ever said he wanted this to be an actual thing, but fuck! You’re exhausting…how can you keep switching gears!? You literally bought me out a $500 lingerie set, just because. Yet we’ve never gone to dinner, or even hug out... just the two of us without you having to relate it to business. “Oh let’s go out to dinner to discuss this new deal..” Yeah sure Tae let’s go out to dinner at 11 at night half drunk to discuss fucking business!” 

Your eyes shot over in his direction surprisingly he gave you direct eye contact, jaw tight..letting you have your moment. But to be honest, for some reason it only made you angrier ”Or fuck just remove me from the equation, in general, your like this with any girl you’ve ever entertained!  In case you forgot the night your mom died..mine did too! I felt the same fucking pain as you and I watched my dad crumble the same way! But I didn’t let that fucking tarnish me, believe it or not I’d still wanna fall back in love one day! We can’t change the life we’ve grown up in, and in all honesty, for the most part, were pretty fuckin lucky! But as strong as you are with everything else..it’s almost  like you’re so terrified of your life that you won’t let yourself Live it fully..”

It didn’t even feel like you took a single breath while you spit all that out, not having the energy to continue at the volume you were originally. “ I mean shit It’s almost like having a sugar daddy at this point..” The minute you said that his eyes cut over to you, the look he gave you was cold, he didn’t ike that ...at all.

“You know exactly what I mean Taehyung, No emotion right? The only time you let me feel something is when your balls deep in me! The way you were yesterday…I’ve only gotten that once in a blue moon and that’s fine if that’s the way you want this to be. But you need to get your shit together stop playing games..it’s either black or white because clearly, shades of grey stress you the fuck out!”

Whipping your flat iron across the room, not even caring that it splattered along with his marble.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this...I don’t know how it got to this point...” He was looking at you but he wasn’t really looking, damn near looking straight through you...

 “It’s not even just that, It concerns me, with everything you deal with that your so closed off, maybe ‘i’m being naive and assumed because you at least show me more affection even if its brief….  than you’ve showed anyone that I’m..like…I don’t know.. fucking special or something and you’d-” A dry scoff left his mouth as you said that, instantly pissing you off as you weren’t even sure how to interpret that! Was he agreeing you were naive? Was this secretly how he treated other girls? 

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Your tone was stale, and lacked emotion at this point because why should you be the only one showing any? The room fell silent for a moment and to be honest, the silence was awkward, to say the least. Clearing his throat as he walked towards the door, leaning against the frame…

“It means as a man, it’s my job to keep the people I care about safe and I can’t even do that right now.” You watched him fiddle with the two Cartier rings on his fingers Clearing his throat again before continuing “ I can’t even keep my men safe right now, and I hate it!  It was Andre by the way..he was the driver who was supposed to pick me up..now he’s probably going to spend his 20th birthday in the hospital having fucking surgery, because of me. That alone kept me up all night, now imagine if that was-” He cut himself off, shaking his head, almost like he was telling himself to stop, not even wanting to continue that thought,you watched his nose twitch as he huffed in a deep breath. 

Your mind couldn’t help but wonder where he was going with that.. Yet as frustrated as you were you felt for him when he said that and you were sure your facial expression probably reflected it. Regardless of the fact that his father still ran their circle along with his brother over the past year Taehyung has been given a lot more authority to run his own trades. So with that being said his men weren’t his father‘s responsibility they were his and I guess you don’t really think about it because you’ve been treated like an adults your whole life but most of the men calling him boss are old enough to be his father. Yet in his eyes it’s his job to keep them paid and even though a lot of them are technically his security he feels like it’s still his job to try to not put them in positions where they have to risk their lives for him constantly. 

At the end of the day regardless of how smooth it was running you guys don’t just own a couple Dunkin Donuts and call it a day,it’s still drugs, weapons,counterfeit goods and even the occasional “Hit teams”. So yes, granted Taehyung should be a little heartless and removed when it comes to business, but not his personal life and that’s where he was struggling.

 “Again, I’m sorry about yesterday, your right, I can’t do shades of grey, I was...I was just having a moment. Were different people Luxx just because your so willing to subject yourself to that kind of pain..doesn’t mean I am… I can’t!..And I won’t apologize for protecting myself…I’m not my father…” His voice broke slightly as he finished his thought….

“Like you said it’s either black or white, we both knew what this was when it started and somehow it drifted away from that. It’s on you, if you wanna take it back to how it was…or let go...” 

Your jaw clenched involuntarily  as those words left his lips, he was right, shit had shifted, and you’d prefer if you were both on the same page. You just couldnt wrap your head around the fact , that that’s where he took this..so willing to disreagred that fact thst theres clearly so much more than sex here..so much more! Damn fear held that much power over him huh?!

He was also very mono tone as he spoke, no emotion came through, he looked fuckng exhausted. It was clear everything that was going on was eating him up…regardless that broke your heart.

“Okay?” There was a slight inflation in his tone for the first time...you silence catching him off guard.

“Yup, I got you…”There wasn't even a word to describe the amount of sarcasm and pettiness that left your lips right now.

“Y/N-”

“I said, I.Under.Stand….V I got you..” The slight change in the way you addressed him has his eyes bulging out of his sockets. Ya know he actually had the nerve to look somewhat hurt? A dry scoff leaving his lips. A ring on his cell pausing any additional conversation. 

“Alright, well, I’ll be downstairs let Brice know when your ready to go….” He wouldn't even fucking look at you, It was crazy how he already seemed emotionally disconnect from the conversation. Yet no matter how pettie you were being you actually wanted to cry. 

You heard him walk out of the apartment. About 10 minutes went by of you just sitting on the counter, sobbing actually, it just felt like everything was sitting on your chest. To be frank you weren’t sure exactly what made you breakdown.., your head hurt, actually correction your entire brain hurt, from Marco, to Taehyung, to the distribution truck, Jimin now Jordan ..it was just a lot! You finally pulled yourself together though, you didn't have a choice, your original plan was to get all glam and wear a dress and thigh highs but the ambition for that went out the window, If you didn’t look like death from your previous night you wouldn’t have put on makeup. Throwing on a pair of blacked out aviators letting Brice know you were ready to go. To your surprise once you got in the blacked out Escalade Taehyung was also in the backseat. He didn’t say anything , and neither did you, the ride to the ferry was silent but luckily for both of you having business to attend to on your phone not as awkward as it could’ve been. You got one glance at him,  as his eyes cut cross to your window once a red corvette drove by… the look in his eyes were different, his eyes looked more prominent. They actually looked slightly puffy..had he been crying!? You knew better he’d rather shank himself then cry…but it definitely looked like it!.

Upon pulling up, you were confused to say the least  “What the fuck” Both breathing out in unison actually, which is the first thing you two had said to each other since your argument. The state trooper was there, and so was damn near everybody else..what I mean is, all 3 of the families involved, anybody that worked close within their circle was there. Meetings never went down like this,,,usually they’d just get conferenced  in. There was a good 35/40 people waiting to load this ferry, expect Leo’s, you figured they were already there since Dino called the meeting.. Fuck even Hoseok was there..why the hell was he not on his plane to Hong Kong!? 

Then you also noticed Namjoon, Jimin,Bunny..shit was serious if they were all here. “Yeah because this doesn’t look sus or anything!” You breathed out in sarcasm, while a low chuckle left his body yet he still hasn’t said anything else to you. Both exiting the truck going seperate directions. Hoseok’s lady noticed you right away running over to give you a hug “Luxx!!” Squeezing you tight, before descending into casual conversation which you were only partially listening too. She was a complete sweetheart, and honestly perfect for Hoseok! But your eyes couldn’t help but trace Taehyung. He just seemed like he was on an extremely short fuse today, didn’t matter that you were upset with him you still cared, always would. As you all waited for the Ferry to load, you watched a red porsche pull up  which didn’t mean much to you at first, then you recognized it. That was Leo’s it was his prized possession actually he rarely..rarely drove it!

Marco and one of his men stepped out the car “Fuckk..” it came out as a low whisper while your eyes immediately shot over to Taehyung, luckily Hoseok wasn’t far behind. It was clear Marco wasn’t invited though, some of the guards appeared to be asking him to leave. Originally blocking him from everybody else but Tae pushed his way right through the line, he didn’t need or want security right now.“Nah please let him through,so we can welcome him to the family properly..” Hoseok breathed out with a sly smirk and you knew this wouldn’t end well, these two were trouble together, have been since high school. Believe it or not Hoseok had an even shorter fuse than Taehyung. Everyone started to crowd around them them, blocking your view, which only gave you fucking anxiety.. As you started walking over in that direction..”Fuck yeah, where’s your boy from last night!? How’s his face feelin? Ya know if need be and he’s in a lot of pain I know a guy who has great bud!” You couldn’t see him but you could hear him, Jimin found his way over there.You could hear voices bouncing off of each other but it was getting harder to tell who was who until…

“Did you really show up here today? Are you really that fuckin stupid?!” You knew his voice anywhere..the base shot through everyone else and all you could hear was him, followed by a loud eruption of pure chaos..

There ya have it! Lol sorry it’s long hope you enjoy..

part 3 is up 

[going-dead]

Ice Cold

     Jazz checked Danny's room, her room, their parents room, the bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, and even the OPs center but she couldn’t seem to find Danny. She hadn't checked the lab yet but Danny usually avoid the lab if he could when their parents were home. She glanced out the window at the snow storm raging outside, and prayed Danny was in the lab and not anywhere outside. What if he went out to fight a ghost but it was too cold for him to get back home? He was only half ghost after all. She made her way downstairs wincing at the loud sound of her parents tinkering. She quickly glanced around the lab not seeing Danny anywhere, only her parents. The ghost portal had been closed since the morning for maintenance, so there was no way he was in the Ghost Zone. “Hey mom, dad? Have you seen Danny anywhere? I can’t find him anywhere.”

     “Can’t say I have honey, we’ve been down here since the morning.” Maddie said looking up from her current project, raising her goggles off of her eyes.

     “Have you checked in the Ops center Jazzy-pants?” Jack asked aiming the newest prototype of the ectogun at a target. “Maybe he’s at Sam or Tucker’s house?”

     Jazz crossed her arms, “yes I checked everywhere in the house. I guess I can ask those two though.” The only problem with that is Danny always told him if he was actually going to his friends house, so she knew if he had to cover for a ghost fight or just let their parents know he wouldn’t be home for dinner. She climbed the stairs and decided to text Sam and Tucker to ask if they knew anything. She anxiously waited for their replies. They both denied knowing anything stating he texted them a few hours ago stating how pretty the snow was but that's the last time they heard from him. Jazz froze Danny wouldn’t go out in this weather, would he? She shot a concerned look out the window the storm only seeming to grow. Jazz clicked on the tv and turned to the news.

     Lance Thunder was on screen, even he was in the news station instead of his usual place reporting in the midst of any weather Amity Park might experience. “Record lows are reaching all across the midwest, our own Amity Park is expecting to reach a low of -50°F and a high of -15°F. That's right folks you heard me correctly, -50°F and a high of -15°F. Make sure to bundle up and avoid going outside if possible at all costs.” Lance stood behind a live radar that showed a huge winter storm rolling across the country.

     Jazz worried her lip and her eyes darted over to her coat and gloves and her heart dropped when she saw Danny’s coat still there but his shoes were gone. She grabbed her coat and put the rest of her winter gear on. She scrawled down a note to her parents telling them that she went out to find Danny. She grabbed a (normal) thermos and put coffee in it to attempt to stay warm and shot Sam and Tucker a quick text. She was halfway out the door when she decided to grab Danny’s coat to bring with her so she could help warm him up if- no when she found him.

     Jazz covered her face from the sudden biting cold as she stepped outside. When she reached the sidewalk the snow was up to her knees and it was only the start of what they were supposed to get. She trudged through the snow, the freezing weather felt like it was reaching into her bones and turning them to ice. She took a sip of the coffee she brought it gave a little warmth but didn’t do much to fight off the cold. She had hardly been outside for ten minutes but her fingers and toes already felt numb, despite the layers. Jazz wrapped her hands in Danny’s coat and was debating if she should drink more of the coffee or leave it for Danny, because he surely needed it more. “DANNY!” she yelled out still not seeing a sign of her little brother. What would happen if she never found him? She had only been out for a few minutes and was finding it hard to continue out in this weather and she had on full snow gear, how was Danny fairing? No she can’t think like that. She quickened her pace as much as she could in the snow, her shoulders hunched trying to bring her outer extremities close to her warmer center.

     Her nose was running and her eyes were watering from cold and the harsh wind. Jazz pulled her hood closer to her face. The few cars that passed stopped and offered her a ride home, but she refused, simply lying and telling them that she was almost there, while only walking farther away. She was constantly checking her phone to see if Tucker or Sam found any new information, or even a text from Danny. But they all were silent. Jazz looked up and saw someone in a large black jacket sitting on some steps. Her heart filled with hope. “Danny?” she called out.

     “Jazz? What are you doing out here?” But it wasn’t Danny’s voice, it was Sam’s.

     “I’m looking for Danny, what are you doing out here? It’s way too cold to be out here.” Jazz said trying to chastised Sam.

     Sam gave Jazz a look, “I’m also trying to find Danny, and you’re one to talk Jazz you look deader than the residents of the Ghost Zone.” Sam stood up brushing off snow from her pants. Jazz looked Sam up and down, she could tell that the goth girl was freezing, she could see the outline of her veins, her teeth chattered when she talked, and her lips were blue.

     “Come on Sam you look like you’re about to get frostbite.” Jazz said taking the other girls hand. “Let’s go to my house, it’s closer. We can come up for a plan to find Danny later. First let’s make sure we don’t die in the process.” Jazz started walking back along the trail she made in the snow getting here.

     “Oh, wait! I need to text Tucker he’s out here too.” Sam took out her phone and her fingers struggled to punch in the password with her numb fingers. “Oh Tucker just texted me.” Sam paused to read the text, “he found him!” Sam shouted out.

     “What where?” Jazz asked in a rushed voice.

     “Just a block away from here. He just saw him, he said hasn't approached him yet. But apparently he just has jeans and a t-shirt on and is just laying in the snow not moving.” Sam said worried and already walking to the location Tucker sent.

     Jazz on the other hand ran kicking snow up and doing her best not to trip. Jazz turned the corner and rushed past where Tucker was standing. She ran over to Danny’s body laying in the snow his eyes were closed not even wearing a jacket a few yards away. She slid the last few inches on her knees. “Danny oh my god!” She said in a panic she checked his pulse it was really slow, was that normal for him? She started shaking him before she even really got good look at him.

     Danny simply sat up and gave Jazz a weird look. “Shouldn’t you be inside? It’s supposed to be in the negatives out today.” He looked over her shoulder and saw Tucker and an approaching Sam. “Why are Sam and Tucker with you? You all look like icicles who got frostbite.”  

     Jazz gave him an incredulous look, “Shouldn't YOU be inside? You only have a t-shirt on for god's sake!” She said jabing at Danny’s chest. “How are you okay in that outfit out here? It’s below zero, and your pulse is so slow how can you just sit up and act like nothing is wrong?”

     Danny looked down at his shirt then back at Jazz before standing up and pulling Jazz up with him. “Umm I’m half ghost remember? The ectoplasm in my blood kinda makes my heart beat slower for some reason.” He shrugged turning his hand invisible then visible again to make a point then scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

     “Yeah and you are also half human Danny, you can’t just go out in subzero temperatures without even having a coat!” Jazz would have thrown her arms up if she wasn’t so cold. She realized now that the panic of Danny missing was gone and the adrenaline left that she was shivering and her teeth were chattering.

     “I also have an ice core, remember that Jazz?” He pointed out creating an ice crystal in his hand. “Plus this weather actually feels kind of nice to me, a lot like the Far Frozen actually. It’s surprisingly comforting,” Danny noted. “But let's get you three home before you freeze to death. I’m the only one who gets to die in this group, and that's only because i’m a professional at it. Don’t try it at home, probably won’t turn out well.” He laughed but stopped once Sam threw a snowball at his face. “That’s cold Sam, that’s real cold”

     “No, this weather is. Can we go now, before we end up in the Ghost Zone not as visitors?” Tucker asked taking the thermos from Jazz’s hand and took a big drink. He then passed it to Sam who did the same. The three non-ghosts continued passing it between each other to try to stave off the cold.

     They all arrived at the Fenton’s house and all embraced the warmth of the house. Jazz made a beeline to the coffee pot to make more for everyone and turned up the thermostat. Danny lingered outside the door looking out at the snow smiling and taking a deep breath remembering the feeling of the cold wrapped around him. He walked inside after Tucker yelled that he was letting all the cold air in. Danny decided he would go up on the roof once night came around, and look up at the stars while laying in the snow. Or if the clouds were still hanging in the sky, maybe just play with his ice power to see what shapes he could make in the snow. He smiled and walked over to join his sister and his friends who were now all snuggling under a big blanket to get warm.

     “Nuh uh ice boy, you aren’t getting anywhere near us until we warm up.” Sam said.

     “Yeah, you’ll just make us colder.” Tucker added.

     “How about you go and be a nice little brother and bring us some snacks, we did just risk our health to find you.” Jazz called to him laughing. Danny stuck his tongue out at the three but complied with Jazz’s request. Thanking whatever good was out there for having such a good sister and friends.

[anotherfiveyears]

6: School’s Out

"It fucking burns, dude!"

"Well, I followed the directions on the box!"

"Get it off my head!" David screamed, leaning over the bathtub at his house while Jimmy flailed around behind him.

"If we take it off now it won't dye!"

"Just the part on my head, then!"

He leaned into the tub while Jimmy rinsed the dye from his scalp, careful to keep the white bleach in the ends.

"Better?" Jimmy asked, helping him sit up to keep the water from dripping in his eyes.

"Yeah, thanks," David sighed. "Fuck, dude! How do girls do this shit?"

"What are you two morons doing?" Lisa asked, hurrying down the hallway to see what all the screaming was about.

"We're bleaching his hair," Jimmy replied, focused on re-reading the back of the box of dye.

"Shit," she groaned. "Does mom know?"

"No."

"Okay!" she cried, throwing her hands up and heading back down the hallway to her room. "I officially had nothing to do with this!"

*

"Oh... oh my god," Anna stopped short in the doorway when she arrived for her shift at the record shop. "David! What did you do?!"

"I'm a blonde!" he grinned at her, though it looked more like he was bearing his teeth.

Anna stifled a laugh with her hand as she made her way to him, circling him to get a better look at his hair. "Half blonde, at least," she snickered.

"Yeah, well... apparently, bleach is made of actual fire, so we decided against putting it on my scalp."

She burst out laughing at that, unable to contain it any longer. "It's all brassy! Were you going for Dee Snyder or Debbie Harry?"

"Neither?"

"Good, cause you missed both by a long shot," she giggled and ran her fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes at the feeling and leaned into her. "I did this for you, you know."

"You did not," she gasped, ripping her hand away.

"You said you liked blondes," he gave her the same grin he gave the cop the night before.

"David!" she cried, scurrying back to the counter.

"Anna!" he mocked.

"No, you know what?" she leaned her elbows on the glass covered table and coyly smiled back at him. "I love it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she nodded and watched him carefully as he got closer to her. "I love that it's different. If you're gonna be my boyfriend, you can't be boring."

"So I'm your boyfriend now?" he teased, feeling his heart pound in his chest.

"Sorry, kitten," she laughed. "After being so gallant last night you kinda have to be. You're just gonna have to get used to it."

"Anna honey, I need you to inventory the-," her dad stopped his interruption short and stared at David over the top of his glasses. "Dear lord, son. What did you do to your head?" He looked around in confusion when both David and Anna began to laugh.

*Early June 1985*

"Anne, the office is asking for you."

She looked up from her calculus final at her teacher and immediately gathered her things into her leather book bag before leaving class. She worriedly jogged down the hallway and into the office where she was met with the dean.

"Anne, your uncle is here. He says there's a family emergency."

She frowned at him and looked around, knowing she didn't have an uncle. Her mom had a couple sisters, but they were unmarried and living on opposite sides of the country. A man in an ill-fitting suit waiting just beyond some glass doors was staring hard at her and Anna turned sharply. "May I please leave my bag with you, Dean Morgan?"

"Of course," he nodded solemnly and took the bag from her. "Would you like me to walk you out?"

"No, no thank you, sir," she whispered, pretending like she was about to cry. "It's just that Gam-Gam has been so sick lately and..."

"I'm so sorry, Anne," he said, awkwardly placing his hand on her shoulder. "I've already rescheduled your finals, take all the time you need."

She kept her head down, darting out the office doors into the breezeway where her "uncle" was admiring a large mural painted on the brick wall. "Come on!" she whispered harshly and opened the doors to freedom. They ran down the front steps and dove into the little blue pickup idling in the drop off lane. Anna slid across the vinyl seat and under David's arm while Jimmy climbed into the passenger seat beside her.

"Go, go, go!" Anna yelled and David threw the truck into gear.

"I can't believe that fucking worked," Jimmy laughed once they cleared the parking lot.

"Where the hell did you get that suit?" Anna laughed, helping him out of the oversized sportcoat and tie.

"My brother," he shrugged. "Can we go get Melissa now?"

*

David and Anna waited while Jimmy ran up the walk to Melissa's house.

"So why'd you spring me?" she asked and leaned into him.

"It's a surprise. No one goes to school the last month anyway, you nerd," he shrugged and kissed her, dragging his arms down her sides to the top of her plaid skirt. "How is it that we've been going out for three months and I've never seen you in your school uniform?"

"Because it's a method of oppression meant to keep girls from getting an equal education," she muttered into his shoulder, sighing when he raised an eyebrow at her. "Because it's itchy and I take it off the moment I get a chance?"

David looked out the truck windows and around the quiet street they were on. "You have a chance right now..."

"Perv," she laughed and punched his shoulder, but let him kiss her until Jimmy returned with Melissa.

The four of them crammed into the bench seat of David's pickup, heading north on the parkway while blasting This Side Up, the latest Scream record Anna had scooped up for David just before it was released in May. He knew she was getting worried, they had been driving for an hour and were just on the outskirts of Baltimore, but he had cleared everything with her father already. "If you can get her out of class without getting caught, I'll buy all four of you hooligans tickets," he had said. The four Scream tickets were waiting in David's paycheck envelope that morning. He slowed down as they passed the venue in downtown Baltimore, an actual club, not some community center or crumbling military building they were used to punk shows being booked in.

"You're fucking kidding me," Anna whispered, reading the marquee. Her eyes slid to David when he only answered with a quiet smile and she shrieked loudly, making Jimmy and Melissa jump. She scrambled to kiss him, pulling his face towards her.

"Anna, I'm driving!"

*

Anna and Melissa sat at the crowded bar while Dave and Jimmy stood behind them, waiting for the support band to finish up. Both girls had fake IDs and had managed to charm security enough to look the other way when their boyfriends followed them to the bar. David had suspected Anna's school uniform had something to do with it and resolved to stick close to her for the night. In an educational setting her knee-high socks, plaid skirt, and white oxford shirt were fitting, but in a punk club, she looked like jailbait or an extra in a Van Halen video. "You guys should go get a spot in the pit now if you want a good one," Melissa said.

David and Jimmy exchanged a look and shook their heads. "Nah, we're fine here," Jimmy replied, though he didn't sound very convincing.

Now was it was Anna and Melissa's turn to share a glance. They had become close over the course of dating two best friends. "Like hell you are," Anna snorted. "Go. We're just fine up here."

"I'm not leaving you alone in a bar in that outfit," he muttered, then immediately regretted it by the look on her face.

"Well if you didn't want me to wear this, you should have gotten me a change of clothes before kidnapping me," Anna said the last words loud enough that several people turned to stare at them.

"Yeah, cause I totally could have walked in your front door and asked your parents to pack up your club clothes, Annie," he shot back.

She frowned and shifted a little on her bar stool. "Will you two just go and have fun? We'll meet you by the car if anything happens."

Melissa nodded and that was all Jimmy needed before setting his beer back on the bar. "Come on, man," he said, nudging David's shoulder.

David stole a glance at the pit which was filling up fast as people arrived for Scream and felt a small shove on his arm. "Go," Anna insisted, flashing him a confident smile over her beer. "Have fun!"

Scream was in perfect form, thrashing their way through the setlist with the kind of vigor that made David wonder if there was a major studio scout in the audience. He would occasionally catch a glimpse of Anna and Melissa leaning against the bar with smiles on their faces before returning to the mayhem that was the pit. Two hours later, the band left the stage and the crowd was screaming for an encore when David saw Melissa and Anna shoving their way through the crowd toward them. He furrowed his brow at the panicked look on Melissa's face and her urgent whisper once Jimmy put his arm around her.

"They do an encore, right?" Anna asked when she made it to his side.

"Everything okay?" he noticed her hair was a little messy but she seemed fine.

"Yes...," she leaned forward to look at Melissa and sighed. "There was a minor altercation at the bar, but it's handled now."

David whipped around to see several bouncers standing in a circle, staring down at someone on the floor. "What-?"

"Some guy wouldn't leave us alone and she laid him out!" Melissa yelled excitedly.

He turned back to Anna, but she was busy watching the band return to the stage. She held her hand up to show him her swollen knuckles and shrugged. "Like I said. Everything is handled," she said over the cheering crowd. *

Jimmy and Melissa had long since fallen asleep, leaning on each other in the tiny pickup cab. Anna rested her head on David's shoulder as he drove with one hand, the other one holding hers in her lap.

"Thank you, kitten" she whispered. "That was so much fun."

"Glad you liked it, lil' lady," he drawled. "Even though you had to get in a bar fight." He was so tired and hoping she'd stay awake to keep him company for the hour and a half long drive.

She laughed a little and turned to kiss his shoulder. "That's gonna be you up there someday." He stayed quiet at that. She was always complimenting his drumming and he never knew how to respond. "I'm serious," she went on. "You're way better than the guy tonight and he was getting paid!"

He snorted a laugh, "Yeah, probably just enough to buy gas to get home."

"You know what I mean. I think you should start auditioning for bigger bands, David. You have the talent. You're that good." Once again he stayed quiet. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles, tearing his eyes from the parkway for a moment to look at her. "I promise."

[bucky-barfs]

Escape

Escape (1/?): An Iron Man Fanfiction

Relationship: Tony Stark x Reader

Summary: Tony Stark meets you at a party while you’re trying to work. You two decide to escape together.

Warnings:  Drug mention, Alcohol Mention, Sex mention, Angst, Murder mention, reference to brainwashing/abuse. 

Word Count: 3,372

Author’s Note: This idea has been swarming around in my head for a while. The next part will be smut. I think in total I’m going to write four parts, but I’m not entirely sure.

You were sitting by the bar when you noticed him, Tony Stark in all his glory was just down the bar from you. You briefly allowed yourself to examine him, taking in his classic black and white suit, complete with bowtie. He looked good, even prettier in person, news articles and magazines couldn’t capture the devilish twinkle in his eye.

 You wanted to shake yourself, tell yourself to snap out of it, but instead you simply brushed some of your hair behind your ear. You were not here to ogle Tony Stark. You had work to do. Discreetly you took in the room, making note of the exits and windows. You had already cased the place, more than a week ago when you were first assigned.

 You were looking for someone in specific, specifically one Jeffrey Hammond, a House Representative from Colorado who was lobbying for stricter gun regulations and more drug control. Unsurprisingly, he had a staggering amount of support. Which, by itself wasn’t much of a problem. However, he had met with your boss a few weeks ago and voiced his disapproval of your program. He had been brought in because your boss thought he could trust him, clearly that was the wrong decision.

 Instead of simply returning to his mundane life of sitting in a chair and saying yes or no he was trying to find a way to shut your branch down. Something about it being ‘inhumane.’ He was already making rounds, so far you knew of twenty other Representatives who planned to back him. Which in the grand scheme of things was a very small percentage, but word traveled fast and if it got out to the public, you would be over.

 That wouldn’t do. Therefore, it became your job to discredit him.

 There you sat at the bar, watching him from across the room, a young blonde reporter with her hand on his arm laughing at something that probably wasn’t funny. You made it look like you were adjusting the pearls on your neck, when in reality you were making sure the makeup covering the barcode on your neck was still perfectly matte. It was.

 So, when the bartender handed you your glass of wine you slipped off your stool and slowly meandered towards the other side of the gala. To be fair, you had time. You still had two weeks to complete your mission, but you liked finishing as soon as possible. Today must not have been your lucky day, because when you were within three feet of him someone appeared in front of you.

 Tony Stark had stopped you in your tracks and had immediately started babbling. “You know, it’s rude not to thank the host.” Well, he must really rely on looks and wealth if that was all he was bringing to the table in the flirting department.

 “For what?” You cocked an eyebrow, leaning back slightly and holding your wine glass by your collarbone. If you weren’t in a room with hundreds of people you would knock him on his ass, you sincerely doubted that Iron Man could actually fight hand to hand without his suit.

 “Giving you an excuse to wear that pretty dress. Looks good on you, but I think it’d look better on my hotel room floor.” He clucked his tongue and proceeded to wink one eye at a time.

 You stifled the urge to roll your eyes. “Who are you again?” You knew that in any case that would most likely only serve to egg him on. Oh well, your target had shuffled away, now heading back to the bar. Luckily, you had already insured that your mission would be carried out one way or another. You could allow yourself a few minutes to chat with Iron man.

 “Ouch,” He shook his head in mock disappointment and placed his hand over his heart. His playfully wounded expression quickly turned to a smirk, “You better learn my name soon, since you’ll be screaming it all night.”

 “I’m more of a bite the pillow kinda gal, Stark.” You said with a wink before turning on your heel and heading back for the bar.

 “I knew you knew my name!” You heard him cheer from behind you.

 Your perfume had lavender in it, which made you smell vaguely like an old lady. Actually, it was quite pleasant the lavender mixed nicely with the citrus notes. However, there was a reason for everything you did. Hammond had a minor allergy to lavender, so as soon as you got within a foot of him his nose wrinkled up and he sneezed, and sneezed, and sneezed.

 “Oh!” You exclaimed, dramatically gasping. “Are you alright? Would you like a tissue?” You feigned worry as you leaned closer to him, reaching down to dig into your clutch so you could pull out a pack of Kleenex.

 “That’s very kind of you, thank you.” He murmured, smiling at you and he plucked several from the pack.

 The Kleenex, had been heavily sprinkled with cocaine, however they were the kind of tissues with lotion in them so the powder had been absorbed. As soon as the tissues hit his nose trace particles were already seeping their way into his system. It was never good for somebody who so strongly rallied for cleaning up the streets to have drugs in his system.

 “I really admire what you’re trying to do. Cleaning up the streets, that’s very noble of you.” You said demurely, sitting your glass on the counter for a refill. You had been nursing the one glass all night, and it was actually not wine at all. When you had reached into your purse, you had also pulled out three little white pills and easily tucked them between your fingers. As you pulled your hand back, you dropped them into his half-empty glass. The bartender refilled both of your glasses without even looking before scurrying away.

 Hammonds smile was genuine, you did think what he was doing for the streets was good, but it wasn’t your job to agree with him. “Thank you, we’re truly saving lives.”

 You smiled, a flirty smile gracing your red painted lips. “To saving lives.” You cooed, raising your glass.

 The two of you clinked glasses, him easily downing a third of his glass. Soon, the Lisinopril would take effect and he would be running to the bathroom. Now you had to set the rest of your plan into motion. After a brief conversation with Hammond, you excused yourself and headed for another face you recognized, a very well-known journalist from a paper that loved spilling the dirty laundry of politicians.

 “Morty Brown! I’m a huge fan.” You squealed, taking a seat next to him. You did the same thing, complementing his work in order to distract him from the fact that you were slipping pills into his drink.

 He talked about himself, quite a bit, which made your job easier. It meant that you didn’t have to explain yourself or introduce yourself. If only he knew that you cleverly crafted a majority of the scandals he wrote about, he’d probably buy you dinner.

 After escaping his droning, you watched your target shuffle from foot to foot. Clearly, he needed to use the bathroom, but couldn’t escape from the crowds of people thanking him for doing ‘Gods work.’ Poor baby.

 You sent a silent thank you to whoever for the fact that this was going so easily before heading towards the bathroom closest to him. Once you had checked that it was empty you pulled a little white baggie out of your purse and smudged some on the counter before smudging some into the top three paper towels on the counter. Luckily, for you this was not a venue that had employees in the bathroom. The final touch was pulling your roll on perfume out your purse, rolling it on the stall doors, and climbing onto the counter so you could roll it onto the vent. He would definitely need to blow his nose when he got into the bathroom.

 Quickly you slipped out of the bathroom and went to stand towards the opening of the hall, back into the throng of people. Your target bumped into you, allowing you to slip the remainder of the white baggy into his inner coat pocket. With glee, you watched Hammond run into the bathroom, a few minutes exiting with clear white marks on his nose. At the perfect moment, Morty Brown scooted past you, bumping into Hammond as he headed for the bathroom.

 “Ah! Hammond, good to see you- ah you have a little something on your nose.” Morty said, and you could already see the gears spinning in his head. A minute later, he’d walk into the bathroom and see the smudged white powder on the counter, there’d be a headline by the end of the week.

 You smirked lightly before heading toward the exit, for tonight you were done. Of course, you couldn’t just be left alone to leave and head back to your hotel to take a well-earned hot bath.

 Tony Stark stopped you once again; actually, you stopped him seeing, as you’re the one who bumped into him.

 “Leaving your own party so soon?” You asked licking your lips, as you looked him over. He really did look good enough to eat.

 “Oh, wonderful, is it time for us to go?” He asked, grinning as if he had just won a prize.

 Screw it, you decided. The tub in his hotel room was probably bigger than yours and he’d have to pay for the food.

 “Yes, it is. Let’s go, I’m driving.” With that you easily took off towards the exit, not bothering to wait for him to follow, you knew he would.

 He easily caught up, strolling casually beside you. “You know I have a driver right? Which means we can have some backseat fun.”

 You rolled your eyes, “I wasn’t aware this was prom, shouldn’t you have gotten me a corsage before taking me to the backseat of your mustang?”

 He chuckled, shaking his head lightly. “You’ve got quite the mouth.”

 You gave him a wide smile, fully showing off your pearly white teeth, including your canines that happened to be slightly more pointed than was typical. “You have no idea.” You purred, stroking his arm as you stopped in front of the valet and handed over your ticket.

 “So, what kind of car do you drive? Some cute little sport coupe?” He asked, tapping his foot as he looked around and waited for the valet to return with your car.

 You stifled a laugh. “Yeah, something like that.”

 On cue the valet appeared, very hesitantly maneuvering your car over to the pickup area. You chanced a glance at Tony to see that his jaw had dropped. You didn’t even bother trying to hide your smirk. You gently reached over and cupped his jaw before gently pushing his mouth closed.

 However, Tony Stark was not known for being quiet.

 “That’s not yours.” He insisted as the valet stumbled trying to exit your car. “That can’t be hers, there’s no way. You have the wrong ticket.” He said to the young man who looked incredibly overwhelmed.

 You plucked the keys from the confused man’s hand and headed for the driver’s side. “She’s mine. Get in.”

 The giant all black, lifted GMC Sierra purred to life as you slid your keys into the ignition. You giggled as Tony less than gracefully hopped into the passenger seat. Climbing into your massive beauty with ease was definitely a learned skill, you one had perfected even in five-inch heels.

 “So, my hotel or yours?” He asked, already toying with the keycard in his hand.

 “Neither. We’re going on an adventure.” With that, you pulled away and headed for the nearest taco place you could think of. It was open late and was right next to a park, it was perfect.

 “Buying me dinner first, you trying to get me to put out?” He asked teasingly as you ordered your food. Of course, he didn’t actually let you pay, but the joke still stood.

 You quirked an eyebrow as you two picked up your food from the order window. “By the end of the night I fully expect your legs to be more open than an all-night drive through.” You replied snarkily, gently bumping into his shoulder.

 After you and Tony had picked up tacos, truly incredible tacos, you meandered back to where you parked your truck and arranged your spare blankets on the bed. You two looked ridiculous in your black tie attire sitting in a puddle of blankets eating tacos from Styrofoam to go containers on the bed of a truck. It was peaceful, despite the fact that Tony hadn’t stopped making quips all night.

 Your current burner phone, vibrated lowly with a notification of a news report. You had a feeling you knew what it was but you want to check anyways. Sure enough, a new article had been posted about Hammond being arrested for speeding, drug test results were pending.

 Two days prior he had his car cleaned and serviced, you had posed as part of the staff and tinkered with his odometer. Forcing it to say he was going slower than he actually was so eventually he’d be picked up for speeding. Your plan was going perfectly and you couldn’t find it in yourself to be happy.

 You let out a low growl as Tony gently plucked the phone from your hands and set it beside him. You immediately caught yourself, reminding yourself that you needn’t be aggressive. You were safe right now. You weren’t working right now.

 “You never told me your name.” He said accusingly in an effort to revive the conversation.

 He looked cute, with his hair slightly ruffled and cotija sprinkled in his facial hair.

 “I don’t give that information out.” You said simply before taking another bite of your potato taco.

 The billionaire analyzed you for a minute, his brow furrowing as he tried to figure you out. “Fine. What do you do for a living?”

 “I don’t give that information out either.” You answered, raising a brow as him as you curled your legs up.

 He tilted his head at you, “How did you get into my gala?

 Now that was definitely a question you were not going to answer.

 So you decided to answer one of his other questions. You gave him a name similar to yours.

 Normally you would give him a fake name that couldn’t be farther from your actual name, but you did actually plan to have sex with him so you decided to keep it to something that felt almost right.

 He repeated the name, looking suspicious. “That’s not your real name is it?”

 You shrugged and looked away.

 “Eyepatch didn’t send you to keep an eye on me did he?”

 You snorted at that, your hand flying to your mouth as you started laughing like a lunatic. “Nicholas J. Fury wishes he was lucky enough to employ me.” Maybe you had just given away your job, but you didn’t care. He relaxed at that, not seeming to care that you were in the same line of work as Fury.

 “What are you looking for tonight?” He asked curiously, his hand rubbing the satin fabric covering your thigh.

 You chewed your lip for a minute. You’d been working tirelessly since you were nineteen; you were twenty-eight now. “An escape.” You murmured, leaning into him to connect your lips. His lips tasted like cilantro and the faint traces of salsa on them caused your lips to buzz.

 “Let’s escape back to my hotel room.” He murmured against your lips.

 Instead of answering, you slid from the bed of your truck, tossing your trash into a nearby trashcan and moving the blankets from the bed of the truck back into your backseat. You both quickly climbed into your car, you easily steering out of the parking lot.

 He gave you the address of his hotel; luckily, you already knew where it was. Two minutes into the silent drive, he spoke up. “Be you tonight.” He murmured his voice slightly hopeful.

 It surprised you that he was being so vulnerable; of course, he was cocky as all hell but traces of the broken man within kept shining through. If you remembered correctly, it was just over a year ago that he had put a nuke through a wormhole. The man clearly had some issues going on and he needed this as much as you did.

 “Okay.” You said slowly. You weren’t sure where to start. You had spent nine years being broken down and turned into someone else, something else. You didn’t have feelings anymore, you weren’t allowed to.

 “Do you listen to music?” He asked, gently helping you.

 You hesitated before nodding; your hand blindly reaching out for the iPod you had hooked up to your center console. Tony gasped in indignation at the sight of your iPod, clearly offended that you weren’t sporting Stark tech. In your line of work, you used burner phones, if you used phones at all. You weren’t supposed to be traceable.

 Music flowed through the speakers and for the first song, you left it on low, not even acknowledging what song was playing. The next song brought back memories, memories you had been trying for 9 years trying to forget. It reminded you of your teenage years, watching local bands with your friends and driving around all night after.

 Who were you now? You decided to find out.

 Your hand aggressively turned the sound knob, the music suddenly blaring. 1985 by Bowling for Soup exploded from the speakers and surprising yourself, you started singing along. Just like you used to.

 Then Tony joined in, which surprised you because according to the media he listened to nothing but Metallica and Black Sabbath.

 Both of you shouted the lyrics, making stupid faces and hand motions along with the music. Without care, you tossed your hair to the music, dancing in your seat and allowing yourself the freedom you hadn’t had in years. You pulled up to a stop light right as the song stopped in the middle, on cue both you and Tony started dancing again as the music started up.

 When the song ended, you turned the music down, both of you out of breath and laughing. You carelessly ran your hand through your hair; it didn’t matter if it was messed up. Nothing mattered anymore.

 “My friends and I used to sing this when we were younger.” You said breathlessly, a laugh following. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, you were defying every order you had ever been given right now and it was exhilarating.

 “What do you even know about 1985?” Tony wheezed.

 The words escaped your lips before you even realized what you were saying. “That’s the year I was born.”

 That was something you shouldn’t have told him, now he knew too much. He could potentially figure out who you were, and then it would be over. Everyone and everything you had worked so hard to protect, it would all be for nothing if he found out who you were. Your boss would punish you for slipping up, you’d lose everything.

 A hand on your leg brought you out of your daze; you hadn’t even realized you had been functioning on autopilot for several minutes. Tony must have sensed your change in mood, if the somber expression on his face was any indication.

 “Be yourself.” He said, shooting you an award-winning grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

 “You have to be yourself, too. Don’t give me that practiced paparazzi smile.” You said accusingly, crossing your arms as you parked in front of the hotel valet.

 “Hi, I’m Tony Stark. Nice to meet you. Shall we go back to my hotel room and have copious amounts of filthy sex?” He said cheekily.

 You laughed. “What’re you doing?”

 He gave you a genuine smile this time, “Escape. Remember?”

 You played along and introduced yourself, but this time, you gave him your real name.