#anotherfiveyearsfic

[anotherfiveyears]

Epilogue: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

*September 2010*

"Annie?" he yelled into the quiet house, "Babe, where are you?"

He walked down the hallway that led from the garage to the kitchen, something he had done a thousand times before but always, always looked at the gallery of photos Anna had hung there. It started next to the laundry room with a photo of her dad's record shop, now two and a half thousand miles away in Virginia and would end on the other side of the refrigerator with a photo she had taken within the last month or so. The most current photo was of the two of them at a wedding in Hawaii, him in his suit and her in her gown, smiling happily next to the bride and groom.

"I love Katie, but why would she ask for black tie at a beach wedding?" Anna complained and poured a pile of sand out of her stiletto heel.  

Dave watched her fuss with her dress and shoes before giving up entirely and plopping down on the beach to finish her champagne. "Do you remember the first time we came here?" he asked, sitting close to her in the sand.

She laughed and looked at her wrist as if she were checking the time, though the only thing she wore was the bracelet he had given her for Christmas years ago. "You're early, kitten. We don't go home for another five days."

"So?"

"So... you always ask me the night before we go home! Like clockwork."

"Maybe I'm mixing it up this time."

"Oh, you are? You're not going to sit with me in the sand as we watch the sunset, ply me with expensive wine after a romantic night out, remind me of the first time we came here and then slip in the little insignificant fact that I still haven't married you?"

"Nope."

"You're not going to hold my hand and ask me to spend the rest of my life annoying the hell out of you?"

"Not this time," he grinned at her, watching as she pushed her champagne flute into the sand to keep it upright, then crawled up onto her knees.

"You're telling me you aren't going to kneel in front of me like this," she laughed a little when he held her steady as she struggled to pull one knee up in her long blue dress, "and say, 'All I'm asking is forever. Darling, will you marry me?'"

"Yes."

"You mean you aren't-," she stopped short when his answer finally registered in her brain and let her jaw drop. "What?"

"Yes, Annie. Of course I'll marry you. I thought you'd never ask."

He spun the ring on his finger, lost in the memory when a little voice jolted him back to the present.

"Daddy?"

He rounded the corner to the kitchen and found his daughters at the kitchen table halfway through their lunches. "Hey doodles, where's your mommy?"

"Upstairs," his eldest said through a mouthful of grilled cheese sandwich. Her long dark hair was a mess of tangles and her skateboard was leaning against the wall behind her. "She's sick."

Dave frowned at that and snatched a grape from her plate. "How sick?" She had been fine that morning, but he had been so busy cleaning out the garage that he hadn't seen her in hours.

"Mama?" his youngest daughter held up her hands from her high chair, completely covered in macaroni and cheese.

"Yeah, kitty cat," he fixed the cat ear headband in her hair, then lifted her out of her chair. "Let's go find Mama."

"Anna?" he called again when he found the double doors to their bedroom shut tight. A little tingle of worry snaked up his spine, knowing Anna would never leave the girls to eat alone and then lock herself in their bedroom unless something was seriously wrong. He set his daughter down in her playroom in front of her favorite Disney movie and slipped quietly into the master bedroom.

Despite the sunny LA afternoon, the blackout curtains were drawn and the room was dark except for the light coming from the bathroom where he found her laying on the tiled floor, still in her white cotton nightgown with a wet towel over her eyes. "Annie?"

She weakly lifted her hand in a wave but didn't offer much else in greeting.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he crouched next to her and felt her forehead, a little relieved when she didn't feel hot.

"Sick," was all she managed through concentrated breaths.

"You can't die on me now. Taylor's almost here and he needs your input on the kit acoustics."

"Yeah," she sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'll be down in a minute. Are the girls okay?"

"They're fine," he assured her. Dragging his eyes down her body, he spied the red welt on her ankle from a bug bite gained in Hawaii that refused to go away and moved to examine it closer. It had swollen up enough to keep her from the beach one day, though she had ignored Dave's request to take her to the doctor. "I still think you need to get this looked at," he muttered.

"Yeah," she replied, finally swiping the towel from her eyes and sitting up a little. "I'll go in about six more weeks."

He frowned at her answer, then did the quick math in his head. "You're kidding me."

"Honestly, David," she whined, laying back on the rug. "Does it look like I'm fucking around right now?"

"We didn't- ... the girls were with us the whole time!"

Anna shook her head, then immediately groaned at the sensation and covered her mouth. "At the wedding, dude. On the beach."

A slow smile spread across his face when he remembered them sneaking away from the wedding reception together, completely drunk on champagne and now officially engaged, then finding an abandoned resort cabana. He leaned over her, unable to hide his grin. "Three down, five to go."

[anotherfiveyears]

31: All My Love

*March 2002, Arlington, Virginia*

Dave hung up the phone and sauntered into the studio, ignoring everyone as he plugged his guitar into the amp and fiddled with the pedals at his feet, just waiting for Taylor to do or say something. He had been baiting him for almost a week at rehearsals, knowing that Taylor was beyond annoyed with him for delaying the album so many times.

They were finally back in Virginia, which was another source of contention with Taylor. He had wanted to leave LA months ago and start session work, but Dave refused to go until Anna was ready. He had kept Anna and Taylor away from each other, fearing Taylor would reveal that she was the reason the album was stalling and he just knew that would make Anna go home too soon. It wasn't until she mentioned missing her parents that he knew she could handle going back, but even then he wanted her to take things slowly.

Taylor didn't understand why Dave was so eager to put Anna's needs above the band's when they weren't even a couple, but Dave didn't consider that his problem. Besides, when he wasn't with Anna, he was out in the desert with Josh working on the new Queens album and loving every second of it. He had forgotten how much he loved being a drummer and Anna had found a certain kind of therapy in surfing, so there was no hurry on either of their parts to race back to Virginia just because Taylor was getting antsy.  Winter had come and gone, now Spring was winding down and they were only just beginning to hash out some potential singles for the record.

Chris shifted awkwardly on his feet, his eyes darting from Taylor to Dave to Nate and then back to Taylor again before he finally took a deep breath. "Hey, I can cut the tension in here with a fucking knife. What the fuck is going on?"

Dave kept his eyes down at his pedals, but widely smirked at Chris's remark. "I think Taylor used baking soda to cut..."

"What the fuck did you say?" Taylor hopped off the stool and kicked it backward, sending it crashing to the concrete floor with a deafening clatter.

"I said-" Dave spun around to confront him, only to watch Nate and Chris drop their guitars and head for the door.

"What is your fucking problem?" Taylor screamed in his face. "We finally get a chance to rehearse and you act like a fucking dick!"

"I'm a dick? You're the one breathing down my neck all the fucking time! I can't even get through a fucking phone call without you pounding on the fucking window!"

"That was Josh on the phone, wasn't it?" Taylor spat and Dave almost laughed at how much he sounded like a jealous girlfriend. "You spend all your time with them and every other second is spent with Anna while-"

"Don't you fucking dare, Hawkins," he warned with as much venom as he could muster. "She just went through-"

"And I didn't? Did you not just sit in some dingy fucking hospital room with me for weeks on end? Do you not realize that this is what's going to keep me out of the shit, Dave?" Taylor stepped back and waved his arm towards the instruments laid randomly around the room. "All I want to do is work, man. I want something steady in my life that I can look forward to so I don't have the urge to go back."

It was only then that Dave felt like maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he had put Taylor further back on the priority list than he deserved to be. "We can finish these sessions, but I'm already committed to Queens," he said honestly. There was no getting out of drumming on the album or the tour now.

Taylor nodded, his eyes never leaving Dave's. "No, man. That's cool. Once we finish the gigs, I'm out. I need something dependable."

Dave felt his heart sink and his blood boil all at the same time. Fucking drummers. "Great."

"Yep."

*

Dave stormed through the front door, slamming it behind him so hard that the pictures on the wall rattled loudly. Scooter's paws eagerly tapping on the hardwood floors greeted him, but when he came around the corner he took one look at Dave and slid to a stop, clumsily turning around so he could retreat back to Anna. Even the dog couldn't stand to be around him now.

Hurling his keys on to the kitchen counter, he began to search through the cabinets."Anna! Where's the fucking whiskey?"

The silence that greeted him sent him into a fury, slamming one cabinet door so hard that it splintered the wood away from its hinges

"David."

Her calm voice did nothing to sedate him."What?!" he yelled, only then feeling bad for taking everything out on her and looked over his shoulder to see her patiently holding the bottle he was looking for. They held each other's stare for a moment before she retrieved a glass from the cabinet beside her and poured him a drink, sliding across the countertop and into his hand. She waited until he had downed it, then pulled out the barstools for them to sit on along with another glass for herself. They sat together in silence, drinking half the bottle between them before he was ready to speak.

"Taylor quit."

The color drained from Anna's face and she took a long sip. "Why?"

Dave just shook his head, too scared to tell her the truth. If she knew Taylor was pissed about all the time he spent with her, she would leave again.

"Why, David?" she repeated.

"He's jealous! He's pissed that I'm working with Josh and not spending all my time with him and the band and the record and... He's just way out of fucking line."

"Is he?"

"What?" he set his empty glass in front of him and looked at her in surprise.

"You're asking a lot of them, David. Of Taylor and Chris and Nate. You wander off to party with Josh and company and now you're asking them to sit on their hands for who knows how long until you're done earning money for another group? How fair is that?"

"They knew that when they signed up for this gig," he spat at her. "They fucking knew I was in demand as a drummer."

"Good," she said sweetly and stood up from her seat. "Then you'll have no problems drumming in your own band now, cause you're sure as hell not going to find someone like Taylor before Coachella."

*April 2002, Indio, California*

"Would you just go talk to him?" Anna shoved him a little on the shoulder when he spotted Taylor's blonde hair in the crowd just outside the RV they had rented for the weekend.

"I don't wanna," he said petulantly, making Anna roll her eyes.

"Fine," she stepped around him and wrenched open the window. "Hey, Hawkins!" she screamed, waving when he spun around at the sound of her voice. "Get in here!"

"Goddamnit, Anna," Dave groaned and retreated back to the bedroom to try and think of what he could possibly say to fix this.

"Anna Banana!" Taylor yelled and bounced up the steps into the RV, throwing his arms around her in a tight hug. "I never see you anymore! Dave keeps you locked away like some..." He trailed off when Dave stepped out of the bedroom and let Anna go.

She stood between them, carefully gauging the tension before deciding they probably wouldn't exchange blows if she left. "Well, I'm gonna go catch The Vines. You two have fun!"

"How's she doing?" Taylor asked once she was gone and flopped down into a bench seat.

Dave slid into the booth across from him and leaned onto his elbows. "She's okay. She has her moments, but she's back to being Anna again."

"She's not wearing her ring... You guys make it official yet?"

"Nope," Dave sighed. "Still roomies."

"Aw, she'll get there, man," Taylor offered. "Just give her a little more time."

Dave nodded and began to fidget, scratching at a stain on the Formica table between them.

"So, how's Josh?" Taylor suddenly asked, making Dave groan.

"Come on, T. Let's not do this."

"I'm just asking as a friend, man! I miss that... us... being friends."

Dave's stare went from the table top to Taylor's face, thinking the conversation might be easier than he expected. "Yeah, me too," he started, then spoke quickly before he lost the nerve. "Look, T... I'm sorry. About the album and putting you guys off and all that shit I said in the studio... I was an asshole."

Taylor sat silently, then raised his eyebrows and waved his hand to get him to continue.

"... and I don't want you to quit. I really don't, but I have to finish this shit with Queens."

"Fuck, dude," Taylor whined and put his head in his hands.

"Dude, just... it would mean a lot to me if you'd watch the set tonight. We'll have a good time tonight, play the gig tomorrow and we can just... be done."

Taylor sighed deeply and threw his head back into the wood veneer wall behind him. "Yeah, okay," he said quietly.

*

That night, Dave channeled every ounce of anger and frustration he had accumulated in the past few months and threw it into the kit, earning a surprised glance from Josh during the opener and then an excited smile when the desert crowd exploded in front of them. The entire set was flawless and fun, and he was just beginning to think it wouldn't be so hard to break up the Foo Fighters when he saw Anna and Taylor at stage left, both of them grinning and nodding along to the music. The anger suddenly dissipated and he began to play because he loved it, not because he had something to prove.

During the party backstage, he felt the familiar buzz of the music industry discovering fresh meat and managed to corner Josh long enough to break the news that he wouldn't return for a second album.

"Is it Taylor? He's fucking pissed, isn't he," Josh asked and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Yeah," Dave sighed and ran his hand through his sweat soaked hair. "He's struggling."

"Don't worry about it, man," Josh shrugged and Dave thought maybe he was being sarcastic. It just couldn't be that easy.

"What?"

"Man, you did me a fucking favor by playing even one song on my record. If you gotta go, you go. We can get a session guy in for the rest of the tour."

Dave stared at him for a long moment, stunned at how chill he was about the entire thing, then almost tackled him to the dirt in a hug.

"You gotta promise me we'll doing something in the future, though," Josh said through his laugh. "Maybe we can score a Beatle or one of the guys from Queen."

"Yeah, I'd love that," Dave nodded and let him go. "But let's get one of the guys from Zeppelin."

They both laughed at how impossible that sounded and wandered back into the party.

*

When he and Anna finally made it back to the RV, he groaned and began to throw back the cushions around the table so he could turn it into the bed he had slept in the night before, but Anna pulled him upright.

"No," she said firmly and spun him around by the shoulders to shove him down the narrow hallway towards the bedroom. "You had a hell of a night and have an even bigger day tomorrow. You take the bed."

He fell forward onto the mattress, his voice muffled by the blankets, "I have to take a shower first."

"Do those six bottles of water you dumped over yourself during the set not count?" she laughed and began to pull off his shoes. "Taylor kept singing the Flashdance song."

Once his shoes were off, he rolled onto his back. "Did he say anything else? Did he like the set?"

She shot him a questioning look and pulled a towel out of a cabinet to throw at him. "He told you he loved it, David."

"Yeah, but that was to my face. I want to know what he really thinks."

"I think he honestly loved it. He knew the songs, sang a little and even air drummed along with you," she giggled a little at the memory. "He's got a great voice! Do you need help with your shirt?"

Dave smiled up at her, thrilled that Taylor had like the set. "Yeah, my arms are useless right now."

"'Kay, sit up," she straddled his knees and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head and then huffed when he got tangled in the sleeves. "You gotta work with me, David!"

"I'm trying!" he whined, then laughed when she swore in frustration.

Once he was free of the fabric, she tossed it aside and sat back on his knees to glare at him, but when his hands went to her hips the mood shifted from light to something very different. The music from the main stage drifted through the open window and Anna smiled down at him when she recognized Siouxsie and the Banshee.

"Just like old times, huh," she said softly and rested her hands on his shoulders.

He stared at her, wondering if he would have made it through the stress and anxiety of the weekend without her. "I'm really happy you're here, Annie."

"Me too," she whispered and leaned into him, kissing him softly at first before pulling away.

"Anna...," he started, searching her face for any clue as to what she was feeling but she only looked worried.

"Can we do this?" she asked, then shook her head a little realizing it was a stupid question. "I mean, do you still want... me?" The last word came out as a shy squeak and she looked down to hide her red cheeks.

He ducked as much as he could to see her face and squeezed his hands over her hips. "I never stopped wanting this, Annie. Not for a moment."

Her eyes snapped back to his and filled with tears, though he had seen enough of her tears in the past six months to know these were different. These weren't tears of anguish and anger, they were tears of relief. She pulled him to her and kissed him again, leaning into him until he was laying back on the mattress. He slid his hands from her hips underneath her loose t-shirt to unclip her bra, but couldn't find the clip... or a bra for that matter. He whined against her lips, in actual physical pain from wanting her so badly and she took mercy by quickly unbuckling his belt and slipping her hand down the front of his camo cargo shorts.

"Fuck, Anna," he moaned when her fingers brushed against him but they both froze when they heard the RV door swing open.

"Dave? It's Taylor!"

In one swift move, he sat up while Anna rolled off of him and onto the floor, laying perfectly still in the tiny space between the bed and the wall.

"Whoa, you okay, man?" Taylor asked from the bedroom door, unable to see Anna from where he was standing.

"Yeah, just tired from the set," Dave said quickly and leaned forward to hide any evidence that Anna had just been all over him. Cold showers, a kick in the nuts, that time Gus forgot a towel and wandered around in front of everyone totally naked, he thought, eventually calming himself down enough to stand and actually listen to what Taylor was saying.

"... you were really great up there, man. Can we... you know... talk?"

"Yeah... let me just grab a shirt and we can take a walk." Dave casually walked back into the bedroom while Taylor waited. He pulled a shirt out of his suitcase and felt Anna's hand around his ankle, looking down at her as she silently laughed from the carpet. Dropping to his knees, he covered Anna's body with his own. "I'll be right back," he breathed. "Don't go anywhere." She nodded and kissed him, making him hop up as fast as he could before he had to focus on Gus's naked ass again to kill yet another Anna-induced hard-on.

Taylor frowned when Dave shut the bedroom door behind him. "Hey, where's Anna? I thought she came back here with you."

"She wanted to catch the Siouxsie set," Dave offered. "She's been a big fan since she was a kid."

*

"Anna...," Dave sang her name softly into the dark motorhome but stumbled up the steps and onto the carpeted floor with a loud thud. "Ow! Shit!"

He heard her grumble and the bed squeak when she turned over, but she was still after that. Goddamnit, he thought. Of course she fell asleep.

He and Taylor had walked around the entire backstage area at least five times before they finally came to the conclusion that they would readdress Taylor quitting after the gig tomorrow, but regardless of the outcome they would still remain friends. With the last huge stress off his shoulders, he crawled down the narrow hallway to the back room and up onto the bed.

"Annie...," he whispered, tasting pure tequila on his own breath. Jesus, how many shots did we do? he thought.

"David?" she stirred and rolled onto her back. "Hey, kitten. How'd it go?" she gave him a sleepy smile and sat up a little, revealing her black push up bra.

"Is that for me, Annie?" he asked, reaching out to hook his finger under the shoulder strap.

"David...," she laughed and ran her fingers through his hair once he crawled close enough.  "You're drunk!"

"Only a little," he frowned, worried she might not want to fool around with him anymore, but she pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply, then giggled when he scrambled under the covers with her.

There was no way he would have said it sober, but the tequila swimming around in his blood thought it was the perfect comment to end the evening. "When are you gonna be ready to marry me and start on those eight kids?"

She hummed a little laugh against his chest then stretched against him so she could kiss his throat.

"Give me another five years, kitten."

[anotherfiveyears]

30: Let It Be

"What fucking happened?"

Dave had finally gotten enough of a hold on his tears to make a coherent sentence, but Anna obviously wasn't ready. She sharply shook her head and took several short breaths before collapsing in his arms.

Taylor suddenly appeared with a glass of water that she gratefully took, but didn't drink. She just kept gulping air like a fish out of water and it was scaring the hell out of Dave. "I can't- I can't breathe," she gasped.

"Panic attack," Taylor said, taking the water back and shoving Dave away from her. "Anna? Can you hear me?" he asked loudly.

Dave pressed his back against the hallway wall, completely terrified of what was happening in front of him. She nodded a little, but when her knees gave out, Taylor was there to catch her. He carried her into the bedroom while Dave remained motionless, staring down the steps at Scoots who was worriedly watching everything unfold from the lower level. The sound of water bouncing off the shower walls shook Dave from his stupor and he found Taylor standing under the steady stream with Anna still in his arms.

"This helped me in rehab," he explained, never taking his eyes off Anna's face. "She'll come around soon."

"What should I do?" he managed, looking around for something, anything that would make him feel useful.

"Towels... maybe get your bed ready for two people?"

The part of Dave's brain where he would throw a smart ass comment back at his best friend had been rendered disabled and the fact scared the hell out of him. Would anything ever be funny again? Would anyone give a shit about their music again? What would the world be like once the dust literally cleared? He darted around his bedroom laying out towels and throwing down clean sheets when Taylor came out of the bathroom in his dripping wet clothes to find him staring at a candle on the dresser.

"The fuck are you doing?" he asked tossing a towel over his hair.

"Would this help? It's lavender..." Dave asked, holding his lighter and feeling like a complete idiot.

"Smoke and fire are probably a bad idea," Taylor muttered. "I'll be across the hall with Scoots if you need me."

His feet made squishing noises on the carpet as he left the room and Dave suddenly feared being alone with Anna. What if she freaked out again and he couldn't help her?

"David?" Anna called from the bathroom, sending his heartbeat into overdrive. Hearing his full name was strange enough in LA, but seeing her leaned against the counter wearing only a towel and wet hair, holding his toothbrush was just bizarre. "Can I use this? I didn't really... pack anything except the dog."

He thought about the drawer next to her right hip that was the designated 'one night stand' kit. It was full of various condoms, hair ties, brand new toothbrushes, etc., and was something he once thought was incredibly cool and clever, but now felt completely disgusted by. "Yeah, of course," he said quickly, making a mental note to clear that shit out as soon as Anna wasn't looking.

"Thanks," she said softly, staring down at his toothbrush in silence long enough to worry him.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you?"

She nodded, her shoulders slumping a little in relief as she wet the toothbrush.

*

Dave sat back on the bed as Anna crawled in next to him wearing one of his shirts. She fell back against the pillow and frowned, looking up at him as he turned off the light.

"Did you change the sheets?"

"Yeah," he slid down in the bed next to her, careful to leave room between them. "I thought-"

She didn't wait to hear the rest before rolling into his side and throwing her arms around him. He was stunned for a moment, soaking up the feel of her touch as he rolled to face her. "What happened, Anna?" Her green eyes went wide as his hands went to her face, holding her just firmly enough to let her know that she was safe.

"I didn't know what else to do," she whispered. "I went into this horrible robot mode and I just... I just got in my car, went home and got Scooter and I drove here."

"You drove," he said bluntly. "You drove from Arlington to LA?"

She nodded, her eyes still locked on his. "I just needed to be somewhere safe and he told me to go to you."

He felt as if his heart had shattered in his chest. This girl, the girl he had known since he was just a kid, one of his best friends and at times worst enemies, the one he had resigned himself to always love, she had come to him in her time of crisis and he wasn't sure if he was man enough to be what she needed. Her response had already answered his most important question, but he needed to hear it from her.

"Anna...," he hesitated, scared of what her reaction might be. "Where is Aaron?"

Her eyes instantly unfocused from his and he felt what was left of his heart rip from his chest. "He went back in. He got me out and then he went back in."

"Jesus christ...," he pulled her to his chest, holding her so tightly that her breathing was labored and his arms ached, but neither of them cared.

"We didn't know what had happened," she went on, her voice against his skin and so far away at the same time. "He said it was an earthquake with the way the building just... boom and the alarms and the smoke... then we got outside and saw."

He let her talk knowing she had to get it out. She had just spent nearly 40 hours in her car with only her dog to talk to after experiencing one of the most horrific and disastrous events in human history, now was the time for him to shut up and listen.

"I fought him, David. He put me in the car and then tried to go back in, but I held on to him so tightly that I ripped his uniform and scratched his arm... and he didn't care. He said, 'Go to Dave' and-"

"Wait, what?" he pulled back to see her face again, alarmed that he had come up in such a moment.

"He told me to go to you. I probably would have ended up here anyways but he needed to know where to find me, I guess."

"How do you know?" he asked. "What if...?" What if Aaron walked through that door right now, smelling of smoke and stale coffee?

Anna shook her head, tears welling just above her lashes. "I got a phone call on the highway in New Mexico. The funeral is next week at Arlington."

The finality of it all tipped him over the edge. Aaron was gone and he had exited as a true hero, which wasn't at all surprising. He had saved Anna's life and probably several more, using his last words to his wife to tell her to find him. In the heaviness of it all, it was easy to look for the significance, the double meaning behind his words. Aaron had sent Anna to him so she would be safe, but it was an open-ended request that he not only placed on Anna but on him as well.

*

He woke up with a start, squinting against the harsh sunlight that bathed his bedroom. He had never put up curtains, finding he woke up early enough not to need them and it kept the one night stands from getting too comfortable, but now he was swearing as he covered his eyes with the blanket. In his sleep-fogged mind, he felt that blissful moment of innocence before the proverbial truck of recollection hit him.

Anna. Aaron. Arlington.

He bolted from his empty bed and ran down the stairs, skidding to a stop in the kitchen where Taylor was leaning against the slider door, staring out into the backyard. Anna was running around their little yard with Scooter, tossing a tennis ball through the grass for him to chase. Dave watched her for a moment, letting out a relieved breath when she laughed at the black labrador.

"She'll be okay," Taylor said softly. "There might be some long nights, but she's pretty fucking tough."

"Aaron... he...," he started but couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't doubt that she was tough, but this was a pretty fucking massive hurdle for her to overcome.

"Yeah," Taylor stared down at his bare feet and sighed. "She asked if we'd all go to the funeral."

[anotherfiveyears]

28: Love Of My Life

For two weeks, Dave diligently sat by Taylor's side. It was a blur of Anna and his mother coming and going from the room with food and coffee, and of tiny but important progressions in Taylor's recovery. A promising brain scan, a removed ventilator, a few twitches and hand squeezes that Dave definitely didn't imagine, they all resulted in one glorious morning when the doctors confirmed they would be waking Taylor up.

A flutter of eyelashes, then a pair of hazel eyes focusing and unfocusing on his face.

"Taylor," he choked out, tears streaming down his face in steady rivers. "Taylor... It's gonna be okay, man."

He groaned and tried to lift his head, completely disoriented and embarrassed by his helplessness. "Fuck off," he croaked.

Dave's face split into a wide smile and he dove across the bed to his best friend, kissing him firmly on the lips. Taylor weakly tried to shove him away, but Dave got what he wanted. That grin and that raspy, annoyed laugh lifted two weeks of stress and terror directly from his shoulders.

*

"Go, you asshole!" Taylor yelled and flung a plastic spoon full of green jello at Dave's head. "Go fucking eat something besides hospital food. We're starting to look like Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger."

Anna laughed from the doorway and Dave finally stood up from his bedside chair. "That would be a kick-ass collaboration and you fucking know it, Hawkins," he jabbed a finger at Taylor.

"We'll make it our life's work, then," Taylor yawned and settled back into his bed.

"We're just across the street, T. My number's on the board over there, just have the nurses call me if you need anything, okay?"

Taylor just rolled his back to them and waved his arm, effectively dismissing them.

"Let the poor guy sleep, David," Anna whispered.

"The love of my life's been sleeping for two fucking weeks! I missed him!" Dave didn't care what anyone thought anymore, he really had missed his best friend. He had been so close to death and he was so young, it had scared everyone around them into reevaluating their lives down to the very core.

"Go!" Taylor yelled again. "And bring me back something that isn't green," he added.

*

Dave and Anna waited for the elevator in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Now that Taylor was okay, Anna could go back home and Dave could resume his rock star life. There were a couple of girls back in the states that he had been talking to and he was busy trying to decide which one to call first when he realized Anna was waiting for him in the elevator.

"Something on your mind?" she asked when he slumped against the elevator wall.

"I haven't talked to Jordyn in like three weeks," he admitted. "It'll be a fucking miracle if she takes me back."

"Just explain what happened. I'm sure she'll understand."

The elevator doors slid open as Dave considered her words. Jordyn was quite a bit younger than them, she probably already moved on to someone new. The doors opened and they walked out onto the sidewalk when Dave was pulled from his thoughts long enough to register that Chris was calling his name.

"Hey, man! Is he up? Did they wake him up?" he asked eagerly, running up to him.

"Yeah," Dave felt his throat tighten and the tears threaten to return, he was just so fucking relieved that Taylor was going to be okay. "Yeah, he's up."

Chris dragged him into a tight embrace that lasted long enough to elicit an awkward chuckle as they both wiped the tears from their eyes. He glanced at Anna as she waited patiently, then realized she had never met Chris.

"Oh! Shit, sorry," Dave put his arm around Anna and brought her forward. "This is Anna. Anna, this is Chris."

"Hi," she said sweetly. "It's nice to finally meet you." In the two weeks they had been at the hospital, Anna and Chris had somehow never managed to cross paths.

"You too. I've heard so much about you," Chris shook her hand and pointedly looked at Dave.

Dave frowned a little, wondering if he was to blame for Chris hearing so much about Anna, then shook her shoulders a little. "We were just headed across the street for some dinner."

"You should come with!" Anna offered. "Taylor's napping anyways."

Chris looked between her and Dave, obviously trying to gauge if he was interrupting anything, but agreed when Dave flashed him a smile.

*

Anna and Chris stared wide-eyed over their beers as Dave devoured an almost obscene amount of pub food. He felt as if he hadn't eaten in two weeks, like he was in some sort of suspended animation waiting for Taylor to wake up. But that was all behind them now, now they could move forward.

"I know it's early yet, but do you guys have a plan for what's next?" Anna asked.

Dave and Chris looked at each other for a moment then shrugged. There weren't any plans, the shows were canceled with no obligation to make them up and they had an empty slate from then on out. Taylor still had a long road ahead of him, he needed to get healthy before Dave would even consider making another album, but he had some other offers to moonlight on friend's albums that he was seriously considering.

"The Gimmes want to make another album," Chris said quietly.

"Really?" Anna bounced a little on her chair, making Dave smile. She loved The Gimme Gimmes and it made Dave want to record more covers for their B sides.

"Yeah, you got any requests?" Chris asked.

Her grin practically lit up the entire pub as she rattled off her favorite songs. "... but even if you only do All My Loving, I'll be happy."

Chris laughed and nudged her with his elbow. "I'll call Joey in the morning. I'm gonna go smoke."

Once Dave and Anna were alone, she leaned close to Dave. "Hey," she nodded to the large wooden bar where several men were hunched over their after-work pints. "That guy keeps looking over here. Do you know him?"

Dave sat up straight and pretended to stretch his back, twisting his spine so he could get a good look at the man Anna was asking about. The moment he saw him, the edges of his vision tinged red and his blood ran ice cold. He felt Anna's hand on his and he turned to her. "Go get Shifty."

She didn't hesitate, just jumped up and hurried off towards the back of the bar while he tried to get a grip on his anger. Greg, that fucking roadie that had given Taylor a bad score, was sitting less than twenty feet away and all Dave wanted to do was murder him. Once he felt like he could make a coherent sentence, he stood and casually strolled over to the bar.

"Hey, man," he said smoothly, throwing down his credit card just in front of Greg for the bartender to swipe. "Haven't seen you in a couple weeks."

Greg shifted nervously on the wooden bar stool, looking everywhere but at Dave which was almost impossible with how close Dave was hovering over him. "Yeah, I had some family shit come up."

"Yeah?" Dave nodded and took his card back, shoving it back in his wallet. "We should go out back and catch up."

Surprisingly, Greg manned up and followed Dave to the alley where he lit a cigarette and lazily puffed on it, never taking his eyes off of his ex roadie. "So you almost killed my drummer."

Greg's head snapped up and his blue eyes looked terrified. "It's not my fucking fault he got greedy and slugged the entire thing into his arm."

On the surface, he appeared perfectly calm as he took a long drag and nodded his head, but beneath the facade, all control was gone. Dave suddenly lunged forward and shoved Greg as hard as he could against the brick wall. His head bounced, making a sickening crack before he crumped at Dave's feet. He pinched his cigarette between his lips and knelt over him, raining blows onto his former roadie's face while punctuating each one with words.

"You. Almost. Killed. My. Best. Fucking. Friend."

Greg was still trying to fight back, clumsily tearing at Dave's shirt, but never making any progress until the last thing Dave heard was a wooden chair splintering over his shoulders.

*

He heard her voice and felt her hands on his chest, "Come on, kitten. Come back to me."

He lay dazed on the cobblestones, his eyes focusing on her face and then the night sky beyond her. "What...?"

"You fought a junkie and his dirty fucking friends ganged up on you," she said bitterly, looking over her shoulder at something. "Can you stand?"

He tried to move, but his shoulders felt like they were detached from the rest of him and he groaned in pain.

"All right, hang on," she slipped her arms behind him and helped him up against the wall, then steadied him as he gradually made it to his feet.

"Fuck," he muttered, looking around at all the blood and broken wood on the ground.

"Yeah, you did a number on him," she replied and carefully put his arm around her shoulders. "There's a cab waiting for us."

"Where's Chris?" a sudden panic washed over him when he realized Chris was missing.

"He's... handling things elsewhere," she said quickly then began to walk him towards the street. "Hurry up."

Dave tried to look around for Chris, but Anna shoved him into the back of a black cab and slammed the door behind them.

The driver turned in his seat to face them. "If he bleeds on me seats you're going to have to pay, lass," he said, eyeing Dave like he was contagious.

"It's not his blood, man. Just drive," Anna snapped.

The drive seemed to take forever and every bump the cab went over sent shooting pains down Dave's arms and spine, making him gasp. Anna kept her arm around him, quietly reassuring them that they were getting close to the hotel.

When they finally locked his hotel room door behind them, she led him into the tiny bathroom and carefully pulled his shirt off so she could examine his back.  "Just a couple scrapes, but you're going to have one hell of a bruise in a few hours. You are so goddamn lucky your mother went home already."

He looked up into the mirror and winced at her pale face. "What did Greg look like?"

Anna was silent for a moment, then softly ran her fingers across his back making him shiver. "He'll be lucky to see in the morning," she whispered and slid herself between him and the counter. "Look at me." She held his cheek and studied his eyes, but she lingered a little too long for a simple concussion check.

His hands found her hips, holding her against him as he ignored the screaming in his shoulders. The quiet hotel room, her pulling him close and her eyes locked on his, it was too fucking much. He knew she was lonely; Aaron had been gone so much that she felt abandoned, but he couldn't be the one to initiate anything. He could never look Aaron in the eye again if he kissed her, but if Anna kissed him... that was a different story.  She brushed her lips against his and he felt her relax against his chest, deepening their kiss.

Everything he had held back for the past two years came flooding back. He had tried to pretend that he didn't still love her, but there wasn't any use in denying it anymore. Not when she had steadfastly been there for him during this ordeal with Taylor and especially now that she was pulling herself onto the counter and hooking her legs around him, it was all he could think about. Anna, I love you.

The moment the thought ran through his mind, she yanked away from him. Her hands splayed on his chest as she slipped off the countertop.

"Sorry," he whispered, stepping back from her.

"Yeah," she nodded, clearly freaked out by what had just happened. "Yeah, me too."

[anotherfiveyears]

27: For Your Life

August 2001

He sat at the edge of the hotel bed and stared at the phone sitting perfectly silent on the nightstand. The room was a disaster from his early morning haste, ripping through the drawers to find his things before racing to the hospital. He took a sharp breath and grabbed the phone, punching Anna's number in before he could overthink. It rang three times before she answered.

"Hello?" Fuck, she was sleeping.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat. A wave of terror washed over him and he collapsed in on himself, clutching the phone to his ear just to hear her breathing, his last grip on reality.

"Hello?" she asked again, this time with worry in her voice and Aaron asking questions in the background. "David?"

"Annie..."

"David... Where are you?"

He couldn't answer, he just choked back sob after sob.

"Does Jimmy know where you are?"

"Yes," he managed.

"Hang tight, kitten. I'm on my way."

*

Tap Tap...

Dave didn't even look up from Taylor's face. The nurses always gave a courtesy knock when they did their rounds, though they never sat next to him in the extra chair... he looked up expecting Chris or Nate, they tried to stop in as often as they could, but he was staring slack-jawed at his own mother. He hadn't told her about Taylor's overdose, though he had told her that he was worried about his friend's heroin usage just weeks ago. She carefully took his hand and held it tightly, looking over her son's best friend as the tears welled in her eyes.

"It's happening again, Mom."

"Oh, honey," she sighed and held him tightly, letting him soak the shoulder of her blouse with his tears. They sat like that for a long time, mother and son, just weathering the storm as best they could.

When he had finally exhausted his tears, he sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. "How did you-"

"Anna came and got me in the dead of night. We took the next plane over," she explained.

"Is she-?" he looked towards the door, hoping she would be standing there.

"She's in the hall. I'll sit with him," she pulled her chair close to the bedside and took Taylor's hand.

The sight of his mother keeping vigil at his best friend's side almost broke him again and he rushed out of the room. Anna was far down the hallway where she wouldn't be in the way of the nurses, leaning against the wall and worriedly chewing her bottom lip. She looked up from her coffee cup when he approached her and her face instantly fell. He probably looked terrible, he had barely slept much less showered or even brushed his teeth since he got the call about Taylor.

"Oh god, David," she whispered, her eyes spilling tears onto her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

He threw his arms around her and held her as she cried, a strangely welcome change to all the shoulders he had been crying on as of late.

"You brought my mom," he said quietly, his face buried in her hair.

"I thought she could help more than I could."

He answered by holding her tighter until her tears ran dry, then not knowing what else to ask settled on the customary, "Coffee?"

She nodded and gripped his hand, letting him lead her as she wiped the streaks of mascara off her face. The end of the intensive care ward held the most dismal room in existence, one that Dave would only venture into when he needed coffee then rush right back out of. It was the room where families would gather to receive the worst news of their lives and it felt like the misery was imprinted on the walls. Paintings of bible scenes and landscapes hung on the aging wallpaper in an attempt to soothe, but they seemed invasive and condescending like the watercolored eyes were judging the very reason they were there.

Anna perched on the edge of a chair next to Dave and took a tentative sip of coffee. "Oh, Christ," she grimaced and pushed the cup away. "That's just awful."

Dave inadvertently laughed, a noise that startled both of them. He cleared his throat and tried his hardest to keep the smile on his face. "Everyone here drinks tea it so the coffee goes stale."

"Until you get to it," she nudged his arm with her elbow and sat back into her chair with a sigh.

"Aaron had to work?"

In the two years Anna had been married, Dave and Aaron had become friends. Actual friends without having to force it and would often hang out together when Anna was at work. She would come home to the two of them half drunk, either trying to skateboard in the driveway or woodshedding their guitars then grab her own beer and join them. Dave was always more comfortable when she was around, he was still closest to her after all, but the three of them had fallen into an easy dynamic.

"Yeah, he wanted to be here so badly, but he's been asked to go in more often than normal lately," she replied, frowning down at her hands. "It always makes me nervous when he's working on something at the Pentagon that he can't talk about."

"Isn't he some top-level security clearance guy there? No wonder he can't talk about it."

"Sometimes I think that even if he knew the world was going to end he wouldn't tell me," she muttered a little bitterly.

"I'm sure he would if it were to keep you safe, Annie," he said, furrowing his brow as he thought about it. He wasn't sure how deep Aaron was in the Pentagon, he had never really asked, he just knew that the majority of Aaron's duties were considered classified.

"Yeah, it's probably just some incoming alien attack or something," she shrugged.

"Fuck," Dave sighed, "I wish."

Anna looked around to make sure they were still alone, then leaned into Dave's side. "What fucking happened? I thought Taylor was getting clean!"

"Me too," he muttered bitterly. He didn't want to be mad at Taylor, he knew this was a mistake, an accident, but it was a colossal one. "We went out after a gig and had a few drinks, then I went to bed..."

"Yeah, you called me when you got to your room...," she reminded him. He had asked Anna to check on the house on her way home from work.

"Then next thing I knew, our tour manager was pounding on my door like the fucking cops and I was on my way here."

"Do you know where he got it from?"

Dave gripped the armrest of his chair and shifted his weight to try and mask his anger. "Yeah, I have a pretty good idea." They had played so many festival slots that it really could have been anyone that had given Taylor the heroin, but Dave knew in his gut that it was one of their roadies. Chris and Nate had suspected the same guy as no one had seen or heard from him since Taylor was found unconscious, so he had been quickly wiped from payroll and locked out of his hotel room.

"Okay," Anna took his hand again and they sat silently together, wrapped in their own worried thoughts.

[anotherfiveyears]

24: Another One Bites the Dust

March 1999

Dave ripped open the glass door of the dive bar and held it for Jimmy and Taylor.

"Thanks, baby!" Taylor mocked and ran his hand across Dave's cheek as he passed, earning himself a swift kick in the ass.

Dave looked around, smiling to himself and finally feeling back at home. He loved that bar. It smelled vaguely of cleaning solution and fried food, the bartender had been the same angry old man for years, they refused to play any music made after 1987 and the beer was always cheap.

Taylor gasped in excitement when he saw the old Street Fighter game propped against the wall and bounced towards it like an eight-year-old with a pocket full of quarters while Dave poached a table and Jimmy ordered beers at the bar. Dave tried to remember the last time he was there, finally deciding it was the night before Thanksgiving with Anna and butterflies rose in his chest at the thought of her. Jimmy set down a pitcher of beer and three glasses while Dave worked up the courage to ask him about her. "Hey, man... have you-?"

"I saw her last week," he interrupted flatly. "She's fine, still hot as hell and no, she didn't ask about you."

Dave felt every single one of his butterflies die a slow and painful death as he poured himself a beer and began to suck it down.

"Who are we talking about?" Taylor appeared at the table after losing interest in the game and snatched the beer Jimmy was pouring.

"Nobody," Dave grumbled the same time Jimmy said, "Anna."

"Oh, that brunette that you talk about in your sleep?" Taylor looked between Dave and Jimmy as they exchanged glares and broke the tension by ramming his hips into a bar stool while laughingly moaning her name.

"Goddamnit, Hawkins," Dave flung a paper coaster at his head, then dove off his bar stool at him, tackling him to the floor.

"You have to get over her, man!" Jimmy yelled as Dave and Taylor wrestled around.

"I am over her!" he insisted, looking up through Taylor's hand that was splayed across his face. His voice wavered and his two best friends knew better. "Fuck both of you."

"Jimmy!" Right on cue, her voice pierced their conversation and Jimmy leaped up, sending his bar stool crashing to the dirty wood floor next to Taylor and Dave. He picked her up and swung her around before leading her directly towards the bar.

Dave sat up from pinning Taylor and narrowed his eyes at Jimmy's back, annoyed that he wanted to keep Anna as far away as possible. Probably because that short black dress she was wearing was a fucking killer and that Dave had absolutely no willpower around her.

"Jesus fuck," Taylor groaned as he sat up next to Dave. "Is that her?" Dave didn't answer, just dropped his head between his knees. He felt Taylor's hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little in support of his friend and helped him to his feet. They sat together, finishing the pitcher of beer while scanning the large group she had arrived with. They were all far overdressed for the tiny dive bar and had probably been out at the clubs before deciding to finish off the night closer to home.

"Weren't you two really good friends?" Taylor finally asked, interrupting Dave's sulking.

"Yeah, we were super close," he sighed and shoved his empty beer glass away.

"Well then go fucking talk to her. How could that hurt?"

She could rip my heart out and stomp on it like she did last time? he thought. There were a thousand different ways it could hurt, but Jimmy had been distracted by someone else and there was Anna, alone at the bar.

"Dude, go," Taylor coaxed.

Dave swore under his breath and gathered the courage to walk over, though all the beer he had consumed was quickening the process. He was almost there when she turned and saw him, a devious smile spreading across her face as she bit into the tiny straws in her whiskey glass. He quickly devised a plan, knowing he needed her in his life like he needed air. He'd follow the same old routine by somehow managing to weasel his way back into her life, but this time he was determined to end the cycle and keep her around for good.

He had moved back to Virginia to get away from LA and the chaos it caused. He had felt himself slipping into the madness, going out every night with Taylor, getting fucked up and screwing anybody that was willing, but the numbness to it all was becoming too much to ignore. He had woken up one morning, sent some redhead on her way with a signed NDA and taxi fare and realized he just wasn't feeling anymore. The fear that he was becoming as apathetic as Kurt had jolted him into action, rousing Taylor from his sleep in a panic to tell him they were moving as soon as possible. A month later they were blissfully barbequing on the back deck of his new house in Virginia and planning the basement studio.

"Look at this joker," she called to him once he was within earshot.

"Hey, gorgeous. Come here often?" he grinned and blatantly checked her out, knowing his trusty LA pick up line would make her roll her eyes and it succeeded almost immediately.

"Sorry, handsome. I don't date guys in bands," she laughed and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly for a lingering moment before letting go. "How are ya, kitten?"

"Good, now that I'm back home," he paused for a moment to order more beer from the bartender. "What's the occasion?" he nodded to her group of friends that were still filtering in from outside.

"Bachelorette party," she said through a lazy smile. She was drunk. Perfect.

"Oh yeah? Who's throwing their life away now?" He scanned the crowd, recognizing Amy and the rest of Anna's old punk friends glaring harshly at him from their table in the far corner.

Anna stared at him for a moment as she took a long drink of whiskey. "It's me, kitten. I'm getting married."

Time slowed, his ears began to ring and his breath caught in his throat, making him choke on his beer. "What?" he coughed, clearing his throat as he blushed from embarrassment. The last thing he wanted was for her to know he was still in love with her, but he couldn't take his eyes off the massive rock on her ring finger.

"You okay?" she frowned and set her drink on the bar, patting his back as if that were going to clear his airway of the devastation he felt.

"Yeah, I'm good," he lied. "Congratulations, Annie."

"Thanks," she said quietly. "So what are you doing back in Old Dominion?"

"I got sick of LA," he shrugged. "We're recording the next record here."

"David!" she shrieked, making him jump. "That's great! What studio?"

"Don't have one. I bought a board and we're installing it in my basement." He watched her hand some cash to the bartender and frowned. "Wait, are you buying your own drinks?"

Anna laughed, one of her loud, throwing her head back laughs that made his heart swell. "Yeah. My friends are... shall we say between jobs," she giggled.

He looked up at her friends that were still whispering amongst themselves and throwing him dirty looks. "Band didn't take off, huh?" he stared Amy down as she glared back at him.

"Oh David, you know those things never work out. No one ever makes an entire career out of being a rock star," she rolled her eyes and despite the pit in his stomach, he laughed.

"So when's the big day?" he didn't really want to know, but he was scared she'd find a reason to go back to her friends and walk out of his life for good. He just wanted to hold on a bit longer.

"A week from today. The tenth."

Fuck. That's so soon. "You ready?"

She shrugged and looked away, "I guess. I don't know if anyone is ever really ready for these things. I need a smoke. You wanna come with?"

He pushed away from the bar as an answer and followed her, but not before motioning to the bartender that anything she wanted would go on his tab. She led him out the back door to the deserted back parking lot where she slumped against the wall and pinched a smoke between her lips.

"So what's he like?" he lit her cigarette for her, idly imagining her beloved as some horrible beast so he could use Stockholm Syndrome as an excuse to rescue her. Shit, it had worked once before with William, he thought bitterly, but her bright smile and giggle almost killed him. She looked so happy.

"He's pretty great, kitten. He works with my mom at the Pentagon."

"A jarhead, Anna?" She didn't even need to specify, he knew the exact type, but he was surprised she had fallen for one.

"Well, yeah... but he was a professional skater and a guitarist before all that. He got into trouble and the judge gave him the old jail or Marines option."

"What kind of trouble?" He knew he was prying and he didn't care. He wanted to know everything about this fucking guy.

Anna shrugged, her sly smile returning. "Got caught underage with a trunk full of beer at a punk concert." His eyes widened a little before he realized she was kidding. That would be too much of a coincidence. "He was his high school's weed dealer," she relented with a laugh.

Dave nodded and wondered if maybe he knew him somehow when the back door opened behind him.

"Annie?"

She lit up like a fucking Christmas tree at the sight of him, knocking the wind completely out of Dave. There was no saving this, she was gone.

"Over here! Look who I ran into!" she reached for his hand and pulled him into Dave's line of sight, oblivious to his suffering. "Dave, this is Aaron. Aaron, Dave."

Of course he was painfully handsome. Tall, dark, built like a Marine, but with longer hair and tattoos. "Hey man!" Aaron smiled warmly and firmly shook his hand. "I'm a huge fan of yours!"

"Yeah, thanks," he tried to sound sincere but wasn't sure it came across that way.

"Annie told me all about the shenanigans you two used to get up to," he laughed and put his arm around Anna's shoulders.

Dave forced a laugh, "She was a terrible influence on me." Also, fuck you, I'm the only one that calls her Annie.

Taylor poked his head out the back door and spotted Dave, "Hey man, Jimmy's passed out."

Both Dave and Anna groaned. "I'll be right there," he called back. He just wanted a couple more minutes with her.

"We should probably call it a night, too," Anna said softly, then looked back to Aaron.

Dave felt as if he might lose it when she gave Aaron the smile she had given him so many years ago. He turned on his heel, unable to look at them anymore and rushed inside to find Jimmy slumped in the corner with Amy at his side.

"You really need to keep an eye on your friend here," she admonished. "He's gonna get himself killed."

"Fuck off, Amy," he snapped. He didn't have the patience to deal with her griping bullshit, he needed to get Jimmy in the car and get home where he could go to sleep and pretend none of this was happening.

"Can I help?" Aaron asked, kneeling beside him and looking at Jimmy with concern.

Goddamnit, go be nice somewhere else. You're making it hard to hate you. "Just need to get him to my car."

Aaron nodded sharply, then leaned into Jimmy and easily picked him up over his shoulder. "Come on, buddy. Let's go home." Oh now Jimmy's your buddy, too? Was everyone here a total backstabber?

Once out in the parking lot, Dave noticed Taylor making out with some blonde against his car and sighed in annoyance. Anna's giggle at his side surprised him. "Is that your friend?" she asked, gently touching his arm. "Cause he's got his tongue down my bridesmaid's throat."

"Yeah... and my new drummer, actually," he laughed in spite of how bad his heart hurt.

The mention of his drummer sparked something in Anna and her eyes almost instantly filled with tears. "Oh, kitten...," she looked around for Aaron and must have decided he was too close for comfort because she shook her head and stepped back, dropping her eyes to the pavement.

"Which one's yours?" Aaron asked, shifting Jimmy's dead weight on his shoulders. Dave kept his eyes on Anna, disarming the alarm on his new car as an answer. Aaron looked in the direction of the beeping and gasped, "Duuuude, no. Jimmy's gonna hurl at any moment, there's no way I'm letting him fuck up the interior of a brand new Audi." Dave didn't have time to protest before Aaron lugged Jimmy to a black pickup and carefully set him in the back.

"We'll follow you to your place," Anna said quietly. "Is it far?"

He could only shake his head, knowing his voice would break if he spoke. Watching her hurry to Aaron, him opening the door for her and helping her into the passenger seat... it so easily could have been him taking care of his drunk friend and looking forward to a spring wedding with Anna, but he had spent the last two years in LA getting fucked up, sleeping with anything that had a pulse and living the rock star life that Anna always rolled her eyes at. He couldn't even get the closure he needed with her, he had fucked it all up.    

[anotherfiveyears]

23: Stairway to Heaven

Dave climbed out of Jimmy's Camaro and looked up at the massive church. It was the one all his friends got married in, the one he tried to convince Jen to have their own wedding in... he wasn't religious, but he liked the large stained glass windows and how elaborate and grand it felt. It reminded him of home and had a way of making things feel official.

Jimmy nudged his arm and he looked over, almost laughing at his friend's ill-fitting suit, the same one he wore to everyone's wedding as he raided the open bar. "You ready?" he asked.

"Sure," Dave nodded, though he wasn't sure who was getting hitched. At that point in his life, there were several weddings each year. Par for the course when one hits their late twenties, early thirties.

They walked in the church's large front doors and were met with a large group of their friends, all milling about in the hallway quietly talking amongst themselves. He noticed several of Anna's friends as well and began to look over people's heads to find her, spying Amy against the wall with a withering glare fixed directly upon him.

He frowned at her and turned back to Jimmy, "Where's Anna?"

"In here," Jimmy steered him into the sanctuary which was eerily silent compared to the hallway.

Flowers lined the aisle and the altar, surrounding a white casket and a large picture of Anna smiling happily. Dave felt his heart stop and his legs buckle. This was supposed to be a wedding... someone was supposed to be getting married, Jimmy obviously took him into the wrong church. He went to turn back to the hallway, but Amy and her accusing stare shut the massive wooden doors in his face.

"Dude, come on," Jimmy urged, pulling on his suit sleeve.

Thick dread filled his chest the closer he got to the open casket. Anna's parents were in the first pew, leaning into each other and shaking with sobs. The sight of her father, one of the most affable and happiest men he'd ever known, overcome with grief was unnerving and terrifying. Dave hesitated, but Jimmy dragged him on until they were staring down at her.

Her casket was lined with soft pink satin and she lay peacefully atop a white pillow wearing the black velvet dress from New Years. Her hair was still wet, her skin had a touch of blue to it and Dave wondered why no one had taken the time to at least let her hair dry.

"It wasn't your fault, man," Jimmy said through his tears. "You were tired and just fell asleep. It could have happened to any of us."

Wait... what happened? Had he fallen asleep and...? Ben had told him to keep an eye on her... What the fuck was going on? He reached into the casket to take her hand but was startled when she spoke.

"David..." Anna's eyes were open, no longer the deep green he remembered but a foggy white. She reached for him, the bracelet he had given her sparkling in the light from the stained glass windows. "David?"

His eyes sprung open and fell on Anna as she lay motionless beside him.

Fuck. He stared at her in terror for what seemed like an eternity when her chest finally rose and fell. She cried out when he yanked her across the bed towards him, waking her from her deep sleep.

"David! What the hell?!"

He responded by kissing her, all at once relieved and thankful that she was alive and not caring that he had completely pissed her off by waking her up. Her anger was apparently shortlived as she pulled his arm until his body covered hers. It had been almost a year since they were together in the back of his car but it felt like they had never been apart. They laughed as he helped her pull her shirt off, both of them well aware that they were in Jimmy's bed and she was wearing his clothes. Then in the next moment, his forehead was pressed against hers as he sunk into her.

"You aren't wearing your ring," she breathed, meeting his eyes as they fell into a rhythm.

He only shook his head, knowing that's the only answer she needed. The divorce was finalized just before Christmas and while he was relieved, he was also a little sad. Nothing quite like the gift of getting the fuck out of someone else's life during the holidays. Desperate to clear his head of those thoughts, he skimmed his hand down her leg so he could throw it over his hip and suddenly remembered her ankle. "Explain your tattoo."

Anna's eyes darted up to his, "Now?"

"Yes, now." He knew it would drive him insane if she didn't tell him.

She smiled up at him and arched her back, encouraging him to keep going. "It's a ball of yarn and some drumsticks, kitten."

Yarn... kitten... drumsticks. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Anna-"

"Can we please talk about this later?" she stared up at him with pleading eyes as her legs began to tremble.

He relented, pushing the nagging questions to the back of his mind and focused on her, how her body responded to his and his to hers. They might have only been together a handful of times, but each time was more intense and ardent than the previous. He would whisper that he loved her and she would respond without words, kissing him deeply or dragging her nails down his back. This time however, he couldn't stop saying it. Maybe it was because this was the first time they weren't cheating on someone or because that dream had startled some sense into him, but he allowed the idea that he did love her to dwell at the front of his thoughts. He pushed her to the edge and watched her fall apart, kissing her when he was sure the entire house could hear her.

He silently moved his lips against hers, telling her one more time, "I love you, Anna."

"I love you, too, David."

He wasn't prepared for it and his mind reeled over her words while the rest of him shattered above her. She followed his example, kissing him to quiet his swearing until she collapsed back into the pillow.  

"Well, that's one way to cure a hangover," she sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "What the hell brought that on?"

"Fuck," he gasped, out of breath, "I dreamt you were dead."

"Still get those nightmares, huh?" she reached over and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Yeah," he swallowed hard. "Yeah, I guess."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," he pulled her to his chest when she scooted closer to him, trying to shake the memory of her lying dead in a metal box. "Here, put this on before Jimmy shows up."  He leaned over and grabbed his discarded shirt from the nightstand and handed it to her.

"Thanks for babysitting me last night, kitten. Sorry if I was a disaster."

"Better me than him," he muttered. The vision of her in a casket was replaced with her lying dead in a snowy ditch and he let out a shaky breath, rolling quickly out of the bed.

"Yeah..." she sighed and sat up against the wall. "Sorry about that, too."

They eyed each other warily for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say when Jimmy barged into the room.

"Holy shit!" he yelled and dove across the bed to Anna, "You're alive!"

She laughed a little and hugged him back, giving Dave a concerned glance as he fled the room. "Was there some notion that I wasn't?" he heard her ask as he ran down the steps.

He had to get away to think. Being with her in bed would only lead to more sex and conversations with topics that never seemed to be fully resolved. Stepping over several people passed out on the living room floor, he could smell the coffee in the kitchen and wondered if Jimmy had even slept. Pouring a cup of jet black coffee, he stood in front of the kitchen window and watched the snow fall softly in the backyard. He thought about asking Anna to come to LA with him. She could quit her job and they could find a place in Beverly Hills or Malibu or where ever she wanted, as long as she was with him.

He had just finished his cup when Anna pulled herself onto the counter next to him and poured herself some coffee. "Jimmy's being really clingy... What the hell I do last night?"

He turned away from the window and leaned against the counter opposite her, taking in that she was wearing his shirt so early in the morning and little else. "You passed out and scared the hell out of us."

"It was just a little nap, David," she laughed softly and took a sip of her coffee, staring out into the snow while he glared at her.

"It wasn't just a nap, Anna. Your hot shot boyfriend slipped you a goddamn roofie," he wasn't lying, necessarily, just expanding on the truth to ensure she didn't go back to that clown.

Her eyes darted to his over her cup and she shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the news. "He didn't slip me anything."

He took a sharp breath to explain in detail what exactly a roofie was because she obviously didn't know when her cheeks turned a suspicious color of pink. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" What the fuck?

"We were having a good time!" she insisted, "There was champagne, then someone had a bag of pills and I just wanted to know what it would feel like."

She couldn't have known, but she had just given him the exact excuse Kurt had used in Rome. "You could have died, Anna!"

"Oh, please," she scoffed and slid off the counter. "Now Mr. Rock Star is giving me the 'Just Say No' talk? How about the time you crashed my parent's anniversary party so far gone on acid that my dad had to talk you down from the roof?"

"That's different and you know it," he almost laughed at the memory of her father trying to coax him down with a raw steak, but he was too pissed off at her.

"Not sure how, but okay," she said flippantly and began to walk away.

"Goddamnit, Anna," he snapped, grabbing her arm and roughly spinning her around.

"No-," she shoved him off and backed up a few steps, anger written all over her face. "You can't just storm into my life like this anymore. I'm not your toy that you can pick up and play with when your fancy fucking rock star life bores you, Dave. I'm sorry if you think I led you on this morning, but it was clearly a mistake."

He stood stunned as she ran up the steps and slammed Jimmy's bedroom door, waking several of the sleeping party goers to greet their hangovers. Moments later she appeared again, wearing Jimmy's sweatshirt and some pajama pants, avoiding his stare as she stomped through the kitchen.

"Anna..., come on," he pleaded. This wasn't how he wanted this morning to go, at all. He watched her slam the front door behind her, then met Jimmy's stare as he stood on the stairs.

"You two back to your old routine, huh?"

Dave hung his head in defeat. The same old routine. See you in a few years, Annie.

[anotherfiveyears]

21: Christmas Time (Is Here Again)

Christmas Eve 1996

"Jimmy! Shut up!" Dave hissed. Jimmy was drunkenly trying to climb Anna's old skate ramp while wearing the bottom half of a Santa costume and a ridiculous white beard. Dave was wearing the coat part of the costume while retrieving the ladder her dad always stored on the side of the garage. He hadn't seen Anna since the night she heard Everlong, but he now had enough liquid bravery in him to give her the gift he bought her back in LA over a month ago.

"Why doesn't Anna have a hot sister?" Jimmy whined, then immediately slipped off the icy ramp onto the snow bank below.

"Because her parents got it right the first time," Dave muttered, positioning the ladder just below Anna's childhood bedroom window. "Wait here." He climbed the ladder, his heart beating harder with every rung and carefully removed the window screen. Glancing down at Jimmy as he lay in the snow bank, he softly tapped on the glass as his best friend gave him thumbs up. The pink curtains swayed a little then pulled back and Dave's smile dropped when he was met with a man around his age wearing only boxers and a ferocious glare.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Dave gasped and slipped on the ladder rung, catching himself just before he fell several feet into the snow beside Jimmy.

"Who the fuck are you?" the man snapped when he ripped open the window.

"Doesn't matter who I am, who the fuck are you?" he shot back, hearing Anna's gasp from in the room.

"I'm Anne's boyfriend and I suggest you get the fuck away from-"

"Send him down here!" Jimmy yelled from his snow bank. "I'll kick his ass!"

"Kevin, stop. It's okay," Anna threw the covers back on her bed and Dave felt only a little consolation that she was wearing the ugliest flannel Christmas pajamas he had ever seen. "Just give us a minute," she said softly and gently placed her hand on Kevin's arm. He huffed and glared at Dave, ripping his shirt off the bed before leaving the room.

"What are you-"

"Boyfriend, Anna?" Dave whispered harshly.

"Yes, boyfriend," she shot back. "What are you doing?"

"Bringing you your present, but you obviously already-"

She reached out the window and took his hand. "David! You're freezing! Get in here!"

"Hi, Anna!" Jimmy called from below.

She leaned out of the window and groaned. "Hi, Jimmy! Go wait in the car, okay honey?"

He shot her some finger guns and pulled himself out of the snow, immediately slipping and falling back into the bank. His voice muffled by the snow drifted up to them, "I'm okay!"

"Oh my god. How are you two not dead yet?" she whispered and helped Dave climb through the window.

He ignored her question, still focused on the guy that was just in her bed. "Who the fuck is that guy?"

"His name is Kevin and he's really nice," she fumed, putting her hands on her hips.

"His name's Kevin and he's really nice...," Dave mocked her with a high pitched tone and rolled his eyes. "Cute jammies, by the way."

"Fuck you, Grohl," she snapped. "Why are you even here?"

He reached into the red furry coat and produced a black velvet box with a silver bow, holding it out for her to take, but she stepped back as if it might bite her.

"How... did you know I was here?" she stammered, her eyes never leaving the box.

"You always stay the night at your parent's on Christmas Eve."

She looked up at him, the surprise and worry written all over her face. Realizing she wouldn't do it on her own, he opened the box for her revealing the delicate silver bracelet with the tiny infinity symbol charm. Her hand flew to her throat as she stifled a gasp and she lightly touched the bracelet with her fingertip.

"Because you like math," he said softly. "And... you know... forever."

She stared down at it and silently nodded, gently covering his hands with hers. He was beginning to think she hated it when a tear fell on his thumb. "Sorry, Anna... I didn't realize you had someone-"

"No...," she breathed. "No, I love it. It's... wow."

He quietly closed the box and handed it to her with a weak smile. He felt like an idiot standing in her bedroom in a fucking Santa coat, giving her a gift when her boyfriend was just on the other side of the door. "I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Wait..." she took his arm and sat him at the foot of her bed before disappearing into the walk-in closet. He tried not to think about what might have been happening in that bed before he interrupted but she quickly returned with a long, narrow black box and sat beside him.

"Here, Santa."

He searched her face for a second before taking the box. She had written in silver pen on the top, her beautiful calligraphy she had learned as a teenager announcing For David, Love Anna. He opened the box and was met with a picture of him and Anna as teenagers. They were walking away from the camera, hand in hand as Anna looked up at him. Even from behind, he knew she had a smile on her face. Jimmy had taken the picture after the Scream concert in Baltimore in the summer of 85, just before he joined the band, just before he and Anna broke up. Beneath the picture three drumsticks lay together in white tissue, one was broken at the grip and the others were dented beyond playable condition.

"Are these...?"

She nodded and smiled. "I grabbed them before we left your audition with Scream. I thought maybe they'd be worth something someday," she laughed a little bit. "Maybe some museum will want them."

Dave snapped the box shut and held it to his chest. "No. Mine."

She smiled and nudged him with her elbow as she stood. "You better go make sure Jimmy isn't frozen to my quarter pipe. I don't want to have to clean him out of the gravel come spring."

He sighed begrudgingly and went to move towards the window when he heard her laugh. "You can use the door, kitten."

She led him through the house, past Kevin still seething in the kitchen, and to the front door. Through the front window, they could see Jimmy waiting in his car with the engine running and Dave could only hope he had the heater on.

"Please don't let him drive," she whispered.

Dave nodded and went to open the front door, but couldn't bring himself to turn the handle. "Do you love him?"

She furrowed her brow for a moment, "Who?"

"Kevin," he replied bitterly and nodded towards the kitchen.

She hesitated, her eyes darting to the door and back to him. "It's just really new..."

He nodded in understanding and pulled open the door, "You know I love you, right?"

"I know," she whispered. "Get home safe, okay?"

"We will. Merry Christmas, Annie."

"Merry Christmas, kitten."

**

Jimmy's house was packed with people holding red cups. There were kegs in the kitchen sink, in a kiddy pool in the dining room, in a trash can in the garage and one in the bathtub upstairs. Dave and Jimmy were stationed next to the one in the garage, staring at a group of girls who were all waiting their turn to be lifted into the air for a keg stand. A tall girl with deep black hair and ripped Scream shirt made her way over with an equally gorgeous blonde, stopping just in front of the two with coy smiles on their faces.

"Hey stranger," the tall one purred and put her arm around Dave as if they were old friends.

He looked to Jimmy, but he was too busy with the blonde to notice so he shrugged and decided to go along with it.

"Nice shirt," he said, keeping his eyes on her chest as he took a drink of his beer.

"Yeah, I used to hang out with-" she was interrupted by a familiar voice and Dave swore under his breath. Anna stood just feet away wearing a men's suit jacket and a pair of heels.

"Amy?" she gasped.

"Annie?" the girl squealed and ran at Anna, throwing her arms around her old friend.

"Goddamnit," Dave groaned. He watched Anna blatantly ignore him and walk with Amy back into the house. Jimmy was already making out with the blonde so Dave cut his losses and went inside.

He walked right into Kevin who was holding court among his other equally irritating frat buddies. They were all in suits and their girls were in gowns, indicating they had been in the city at some fancy-ass New Years gala and had bailed to find some real fun. The entire group turned as one and glared at Dave as he tried to skirt past them to the kitchen.

"Hey, Rock Star!" one of them heckled, trying to gain his attention, but Dave just rolled his eyes and weaved his way around them. Fuck off, he thought. I could give a shit if you assholes buy my records.

Finally in the kitchen, he located the cabinet where the harder alcohol was kept and poured himself several fingers of scotch, which was terrible quality and tasted like jet fuel, but it got the job done. He went to see if anything fun was happening upstairs and made it to the second step before Anna appeared at the top.

"Oh, come on," Dave whined, throwing his free hand up in the air.

She had discarded the suit jacket with Kevin and was wearing a skin-tight black velvet dress with jeweled straps and low back, and Dave was pissed. She had no right showing up to his best friend's house with her new boyfriend wearing that dress.

"Jesus christ, sorry," she huffed, bouncing down the stairs towards him. "I didn't realize I was intruding on your little punk rock harem."

"Smart ass," he shot at her, causing her to stop when they were shoulder to shoulder. He noticed she was wearing a large diamond pendant around her neck and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Asshole," she shot back.

"You knew I'd be here," he accused.

"Yeah," a ghost of a smile pulled at her red lips and she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, showing off the bracelet he had given her a week ago. "That's why I wore this dress."

She lightly bumped her shoulder into his and left him in the staircase, her stiletto pumps clicking loudly on the tile floor of the kitchen.

Abandoning any idea of fun upstairs, Dave retreated to the driveway to smoke and think. He stood next to a tall, wood fence that surrounded the backyard and lit his cigarette, idly listening to a group of guys on the other side smoke weed and discuss their girlfriends.

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Probably on her birthday. I've already got my grandma's ring and my mom knows all the wedding dress designers. Bitches love that kind of stuff."

"Fuck that, dude. There are so many women here! You could pick the hottest one and she'd definitely blow you in the back of that car of yours."

The first guy laughed smugly. "I know, I know. But I'm 28 and I need to find a wife before the election season starts. Anne is fucking hot and her mom's connected on The Hill so she's the obvious choice. The wedding will be all over the DC society pages this summer, just you wait."

Dave found himself pressed against the fence, hanging on every word.

"Yeah, but-"

"I'll fuck all the other bitches after the wedding. Anne's too traditional to get a divorce. She's the perfect submissive trophy wife. She's a great lay, too. Pretty sure she'll let me do-"

Dave shoved off the fence and went to find her. She may hate him, but she needed to know what she was getting herself into. He spent fifteen minutes searching all over the house, barging into bedrooms and bathrooms, pissing off several other partygoers before seeing Jimmy at the bottom of the stairs with his arms firmly around the same blonde as earlier.

"Jimmy! Where's Anna?"

Jimmy shrugged and tried to lean the blonde against the wall, but she was too drunk to stand. "She just left with Kevin. They were both super wasted."

Shit. He ran down the steps, skipping two at a time and shoved several people aside, ripping open the front door so hard that it smashed into the drywall behind it. He skidded and slipped across the snowy lawn and in the direct path of Kevin's gold Mercedes just as he put it into gear.

"Get out of the fucking way!" Kevin yelled and honked the horn, but Dave stood firm on the icy road in front of them.

He squinted into the headlights and could see Anna's panicked face, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the dashboard as she spoke to Kevin. "Come on, Annie," he whispered to himself. "Get out of the car, baby."

Kevin's attention turned from Dave to Anna. They were clearly arguing about something with Kevin growing more and more agitated as she spoke. He reared back as if to slap Anna and Dave lunged forward, hitting the hood of the car so loudly that it startled its occupants. Kevin's hand connected with the steering wheel instead of Anna's face as he yelled muffled threats through the windshield at him and revved the engine. Dave held his ground, watching as Anna broke the pendant free from her neck and threw it at Kevin's head before kicking open her door.

"... the most insufferable, self centered, boring man I have ever met!" she screamed as she climbed out of the car. "And you couldn't find a g-spot if it had a neon fucking arrow pointing at it!"

Once she was safely on the lawn, Dave felt himself breathing a bit easier, but Kevin was now ripping his own door open and storming towards her. "Anne, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior-"

"Get back in your car and leave, dude," Dave called over the Mercedes. He struggled to stay upright on the ice while moving towards Anna, worried he wouldn't make it to her before Kevin did.

"Fuck you," Kevin yelled from the back of the Mercedes. "Get a real fucking job, you hippy."

"What, so he can be a 'future senator' like you?" Anna spat. "You're just a glorified coffee bitch for a low ranked representative, Kevin."

"Get back in the fucking car, Anne," Kevin yelled, now on the snowy lawn and trudging towards her.

"I wouldn't get back in that fucking piece of shit if you paid- oof-" Anna's back hit the snow as Dave tackled her, holding her body under his while Jimmy pointed his father's shotgun up into the air and pulled the trigger. She ducked into his chest and held him tightly as the boom echoed off the surrounding houses.

"Go back to Georgetown, motherfucker!" Jimmy yelled and leveled the spent shotgun directly at Kevin.

He scrambled on the ice, falling a few times in a flurry of swears and expensive suit pieces before dragging himself upright again using the car door. "You're ruined, Anne! You could have been the First Lady, but you fucked it up!" Once inside his car, he tried to speed away, but his tires just spun on the ice.

"You really know how to pick 'em, Annie," Dave muttered, still holding her tightly underneath him while watching over his shoulder as Kevin inched away.

"My mother actually picked that one," she replied, her teeth chattering and her lips blue even through her red lipstick. "Who the hell let Jimmy have a gun?"

"Come on," he laughed and moved to sit up, just as the party behind them began to chant.

"Five! Four! Three! ..."

Anna grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back to her, kissing him hard as the countdown ended and the party behind them exploded into cheers. She giggled when he planted an extra kiss on her forehead.

"Happy New Year, Annie."

"Happy New Year, kitten."

[anotherfiveyears]

20: For You Blue

*Virginia, The day before Thanksgiving 1996*

He pulled his rental car into the parking lot of the little strip mall in Alexandria and nervously shoved a couple pieces of gum in his mouth. The clock on the dashboard clicked over to 5:55 and he took the uniformity as a good enough omen to brave entering the record store.

The bells jingled happily above the door, intensifying his butterflies and her voice drifted from the back room. "Be right there!"

He darted to the Rock section, keeping his back to her when she emerged from the back room carrying a box of Christmas decorations. "Can I help you find anything?"

"Yeah, you guys have that new Goo Fighters yet?" he tried not to laugh as he stared up at a promo poster of him and the band from a photo shoot he didn't even remember being at.

"Foo Fighters or Goo Goo Dolls?" he could hear the twinge of irritation in her voice as she made her way over and turned to watch her flip through a stack of records. "The last Goo Goo Dolls was released a few years back, but the Foo Fighters..." she found his first album and held it up, gasping in shock when she finally looked at his face. "Goddamnit, David! You are such an asshole!" she cried.

"Happy to see you too, Annie," he laughed and dragged her to him, hugging her tightly and hoping he didn't have to let go.

"You cut your fucking hair!" she exclaimed, running her fingers through his chopped cut.

"Do you like it?"

"Um..." she wrinkled her nose a bit but giggled. "I think it's going to take some getting used to."

"Good enough," he decided, trying to hide his frown when she wiggled out of his arms. "Need help closing up?"

"Sure! You remember what to do?"

He nodded and let her take the cash tray in the back before moving behind the counter. Finding himself facing a wall covered in posters, pictures and other random memorabilia of his, he spotted a frame holding a collage of ticket stubs and pictures. Several Scream, Nirvana, and even two Foo Fighters stubs were positioned over pictures of Anna and her Dad, both of them happily smiling in front of the lit stage where Dave was performing. He heard Anna returning to the front and crouched to shut off the stereo.

"This is new," he said, tilting his head at the wall.

"Yeah, Dad's a big fan," she said simply and put the cash tray back in the register.

"I wish I would have known you were there..."

Anna leaned against the counter with a raised eyebrow, daring him to go on. He sensed her irritation and leaned against the wall, copying his cheesy grin on the poster behind him. "Can I take you to dinner?"

"I don't know, kitten," she replied with a half smile. "Can you?" Her eyes drifted to the silver band on his ring finger.

Fuck. He had meant to leave it in the car, but he had been too eager to see her. "As friends."

She snorted a laugh and tossed her keys at him, "Here, you drive. I just have to lock up."

Perfect. He hurried to her car and slipped into the driver's seat, pulling the demo tape from his pocket and shoving it into the car's stereo. He switched it to the CD player just as she hopped into the passenger seat with a bright smile. "So where are we going?"

*

"Sorry I couldn't make it to the west coast," she sighed and flopped onto the bar stool. "The holidays are just insane at work. Especially now that Clinton won again."

"Maybe you can come over in January," Dave replied, dragging a bar stool close to hers. He had taken her to a tiny dive bar that he and Jimmy frequented. It wasn't fancy, but he knew he wouldn't be recognized or bothered there.

She laughed a little and leaned her elbows on the bar. "I think I'm still hungover from your last birthday, David."

"Yeah, I think we both had a good time that night," he said quietly.

"So, how long are you here for?" she asked, trying to appear casual as she took her beer glass from the bartender, but he caught her smile.

"I have to be back in the studio January third."

Her eyebrows shot up as she took a drink. "That's a long break! Aren't you guys under a deadline?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "but the sessions are tougher than I thought they'd be."

"How so?"

"I don't know," he sighed and sat back in his chair. "It's so different than with Kurt and Krist or when it was just me and Barrett. Now these guys all look to me for direction and I have no idea how to give it without sounding like an asshole."

"Aren't you the one that writes all the songs?"

"Yeah, but..."

"They're just asking for guidance on how to play what's in your brain," she laughed and shook her head. "Your poor brain."

He stared at her profile, marveling at her obvious answer. That's exactly what he had done with Kurt when they recorded. His job was to interpret what was in Kurt's disaster of a mind and play the drums accordingly, why didn't he see it sooner? Between the divorce and the stress of the record, he felt in a fog. There hadn't been a neutral party around him in so long, someone that wasn't a band member or someone that didn't depend on him for a living and it was beginning to kill the pleasure in making music. Anna suddenly burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What's so funny?" He had forgotten how contagious her laugh was.

"Your fucking hair, David! Oh my god," she giggled.

They spent the rest of the evening sharing plates of fried bar food and beer, laughing about their younger days and talking about whatever was going on in their lives. Dave feigned ordering another beer at the rail so he could pay without her protesting, though he knew she saw right through him. She even leaned into him as they walked back to her car and he instinctively put his arm around her, wondering if maybe she would ask him to come home with her. Just as he was about to open her car door for her, he heard her stifle a laugh and felt her hand in his pocket, then she was gone in a breeze of giggles. He chased after her, catching her arm just as she made it to the driver's side door and pressed her into it. He held up the $20 she had shoved in his pocket before tucking it into her coat. She tried to glare, but couldn't keep a straight face.

"Sometimes I forget how much I miss you," she giggled.

"You should teach me how to forget cause I miss you all the fucking time."

*

Dave threw her car into park back at the record shop and sat back in the driver's seat. He wanted to talk to her more, just spend a little more time with her before they had to go their separate ways. Anna had held his hand all the way back from the bar, seemingly lost in her own head as she wasn't as talkative as usual.

"You okay?" he asked cautiously.

Her head snapped up and she forced a little smile. "Yes, just fine. Thanks for surprising me tonight. I had fun." Before he could reply, she was out of the car.

She reached out to brush her hand against his as they crossed paths in the beam of the headlights and quickly slid behind the steering wheel. He spun around and followed her, his heart in his throat knowing she was about to listen to his demo tape.

"Wait, Anna," he held the driver's side door open and leaned across her to switch the stereo from CD to tape. The tape clicked over and he knew he had exactly twelve seconds to say goodbye to her. "Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Of course," she nodded, confused by his behavior. "I'll be at my parent's all day."

"Great." He quickly kissed her forehead and shut the door, hearing the first riff of the song when he climbed into his own car.

Dave rolled his window down and watched her, knowing just by the look on her face that she was absorbing his words. She stared straight ahead at the circles her headlights made against the brick building, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. The song built and faded, then ended as she sat motionless. He began to fidget thinking she hated it, maybe she would think he was making fun of her, maybe he shouldn't have ever recorded the song when she finally appeared at his open window. Her face was neutral, maybe a little stunned when she took a breath.

"It's not even a word," she breathed.

He barked a laugh, that's what everyone said when they heard it for the first time. "Not unless you're leaving voicemails after half a rack of beer."

She gave him a forced smile and stepped back a little, "Will you come talk to me for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure," he said quietly, now totally convinced she hated the song. She was going to be so pissed when he told her it made it to the record.

Anna unlocked the record shop and the bells chimed loudly into the silence. She let him lock the door, putting distance between them as she hurried to the counter. They kept the lights off as the light from the back room was enough for them to see, but still hide any emotion they couldn't keep from their faces. Leaning her back against the counter, she faced him with a deadly serious voice. "How much of it is about me?"

"The song or the record?" he winced when her eyes went wide and she spun away from him to hide her face in her hands. "Just two songs, Anna," he lied.

"David!"

"Okay, fine. Four. Maybe five." It was six, but he wasn't about to tell her that now.

She took in a sharp breath and pushed off the counter, unable to look at him as she walked into the back. He found her in the stock room, sitting on an empty vinyl crate with her head in her hands.

"Anna..."

"No, David," she said sharply. "No."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, I don't know," she snapped. "Not write about my personal life for public fucking consumption?"

"No one's going to know it's you," he insisted, sitting across from her on another crate.

"Bullshit!" she cried. "You don't think there aren't entire teams of journalists out there trying to dig up dirt on you?"

His stomach dropped. "Have they gotten to you?"

She only stared at him, her lips a thin line.

"You know, most girls would love to have a song written about them," he regretted his words as soon as he said them, but he didn't know what else to do.

"Oh, dear," she cooed sarcastically. "Am I not showing enough gratitude-"

"... Anna," he warned.

"- for having my love life broadcast all over the world? My apologies, oh great one... Have I angered the mighty rock god? Was a virgin sacrifice not good enough?"

He sat back, her words feeling like a slap in the face. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with her. He had been looking forward to being with Anna for weeks, they were having so much fun earlier, but he had managed to ruin everything with a four minute song.

"Can you just understand why I wrote them?"

"Yeah! I mean, why would you ever keep something that private from the masses?"

"Cut the sarcasm, Anna."

"Cut the song, David."

He jumped off the crate, startling Anna enough that she fell backward. He grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet, gritting his teeth in anger. "What am I supposed to do? You're all I think about anymore, you're... Fuck, Anna! Everyone is on my back telling me I need to write something with meaning and then when I do, the only person I care about fucking hates it."

"I'm not-" she forced herself out of his arms and took a step back from him. "I didn't say I hated it. The song is beautiful, but you're fucking married, David! I don't want to be the other woman. Don't do that to me."

"It's already over, Anna! How many times do I need to tell you that?"

"You still go back to her, David. You live with her, you wear your wedding ring when I'm not around. For all I know, she's waiting for you at your mom's house right now. And when the record is released and people start digging, they'll find out it's me. Please... don't do this to me."

[anotherfiveyears]

1: Take On Me

*March 1985, Alexandria, Virginia*

"So you're the new kid?" The metal head in his mid-twenties slammed a cardboard box down on the orange linoleum flooring in the back room of the tiny record store David had just started working in.

"Yeah, man. I'm David," he eagerly shoved his hand forward, but the man ignored him.

"Great. Stock this box and the three over there," the man grunted himself into a chair and slapped a set of headphones around his ears while the debut album from Megadeath drifted quietly from them.

"... sure thing," David mumbled and picked up the first box, surprised at how heavy it was. The rattling inside told him it was full of cassette jewel cases and he immediately felt disappointed that he wouldn't be handling the vinyl on his first day. His best friend had pulled a couple favors and gotten him a job at a record store near his school, but so far it wasn't the dream gig he thought it would be. He had envisioned himself earning his weed money by sitting behind the counter listening to the newest records before any of his friends and bandmates had, but so far he was just crouched beside a lifesize poster of a-ha, restocking their shitty music. The bell over the front door chimed and he paused, wondering if it was his responsibility to talk to customers yet. He shrugged, assuming the ogre in the back would figure it out.

After a few moments of silence from the back, David decided he should maybe at least greet the customer, maybe try out some of the 'initiative' he had bragged about on his application. Heading back to the counter, he sized up the newcomer out of the corner of his eye. She looked like the generic popular girl at his high school, baggy MTV shirt, jean shorts and high tops, teased brown hair complete with a scrunchie big enough to be an air filter on his mom's Ford. She had a walkman clipped to her pocket and a set of headphones dangled around her neck. He gathered she was about his age, maybe a little younger, but he had to admit was pretty, even prettier when she smiled brightly at him while plucking a lollipop from the jar on the counter.

"I heard it's your restock day," she finally said when they were face to face.

Well duh, Kimberly or Amy or Michelle or whatever generic name you have. What the hell did you think I was doing over there? "Yup," he replied, leaning forward onto the counter.

"Anything good come in?" she shifted her weight to one leg and tilted her head, making him think she looked a little like those girls in the hairspray commercials. Bubbly and boring as hell.

"Well... the pop music is over here," he said, stepping around the counter and following the obvious signs to the 'P' aisle.

"Pop...," she said thoughtfully as she watched him, emphasizing the last 'p' by putting the candy to her lips. "Okay."

"There's some new a-ha," he said flatly, kicking the box he had left in the middle of the aisle, but she ignored him.

"Someday these two will join forces," she mused, running her hot pink fingernails over the vinyl covers, starting in punk and drifting over to pop.

"What?" he frowned, thinking that was the dumbest thing he had ever heard. Pop and punk would never cross paths, they were far too different. Pop went against everything punk stood for, it had an establishment and a hierarchy, things that punk was morally against. She obviously didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"They've just been stuck together for so long in all these record stores. Side by side all these years... it's inevitable," she said matter of factly and plucked a cassette from the shelf in front of them before wandering off towards the register.

He glared at her back, wishing she would just buy her stupid cassette and leave when the ogre in the back emerged. He took one look at the girl and waved David down. "I've got this one," he called. "Finish that stock."

Yeah, you stay up there and hit on that idiot, I'll be over here with my punk ethos.

"Hey Darryl," she said flatly, making David wonder if she was a regular customer.

"You got your braces off," the ogre said sweetly to her.

"Yesterday," she replied. They spoke quietly as they finished the transaction and David focused back on restocking the last of the cassettes before she interrupted him again, popping her head around the end of the aisle and grinning at him.

The stick of her lollipop jutted through her perfectly straight teeth as she called out to him, "Thanks for your help, David! Have a good day!"

He waved at her over his shoulder, relieved when he heard the bells chime on the door again. He set the last a-ha cassette on the shelf and gathered the empty box, joining Darryl at the register. "Are they all like that?"

"Like what?" he said distractedly, marking the inventory sheet with whatever that girl had bought.

"Pop princesses skipping in to spend their daddy's money," he watched her snap her new cassette into the walkman and adjust the headphones over her ears.

"Her?" Darryl pointed at her in surprise, then burst into laughter. He gave no explanation as to what was so funny before disappearing into the back again.

David frowned as she tossed a skateboard at her feet and effortlessly ollied over a curb into the parking lot. Curiosity got the better of him and he discreetly checked the inventory list, shocked when he saw Darryl had written The Germs on the last line.  

[anotherfiveyears]

15: When the Levee Breaks

*Fall 1996*

Dave folded himself into an office chair in front of the soundboard. Something was off on Monkeywrench and but he couldn't figure out what it was just yet. He stared down at the board, idly daydreaming about how great it would be to have a studio in his own house. If he were to have a model for one, it would be Bear Creek Studios. The couple that owned it was welcoming, the studio felt like home and being out in the woods away from the craziness of Seattle was a much-needed break. The band had been touring nonstop to support the debut album and the press being generated was surprisingly positive. He had assumed it would be dismissed as a fluff piece by the tragic Nirvana drummer, but now everyone was asking 'What's next?'. Nirvana was still the first thing anyone asked about, still what everyone wanted to hear and get the dirt on, but Dave was thrilled with the way the Foo Fighters were being received.

Anna hadn't come on tour like Jennifer and Kate had. Dave had been disappointed initially, but Kate had mentioned that she had been accepted into a masters program at UW and was neck deep in thesis work. It was some consolation that Anna was apparently happy and doing what she loved, but he missed her and could have used her unique brand of pep talk more than once to calm his nerves. They hadn't spoken or seen each other since the night at the Marine Building and William wasn't exactly being discreet about his liaisons with the girls Dave had politely turned down. There was a particularly unpleasant encounter when Dave went to go sleep off a buzz on the bus, only to find that William had corralled some poor girl there.

"Fuck, dude! Not on the bus!"

"Why not?" William asked, lifting his head off the back of the couch where a blonde was kneeling before him.

"Because we have to sit there! My wife is on this tour, man!" And because Anna is back home working her ass off to support you and doesn't deserve to be gifted with herpes when you get back.

"Just give me five more minutes."

"No, fuck that. Get up or I'm calling Anna."

"Band code, dude! You don't tell the girls back home what the girls on the road do. Basic manners. And her name is Anne, not Anna."

"You don't have to explain band code to me, Will," Dave glared at him, a little alarmed that the blonde didn't even falter from her rhythm.

"You can have her next if you want."

"Get off the goddamn bus."

Dave was torn from his thoughts by Pat when he leaned over the board and killed all the faders but the drum track. They listened for a while, frowning when the tempo sped up then died back a couple times without warning.

"There's your issue right there," Nate said quietly from his spot on the couch and Dave turned to look at him. He knew Nate well enough now to know that there was some tension hanging over from his previous band and just hoped it wouldn't be an issue in the future. Nate and Dave both jumped a little when William barged into the room wearing golf gloves and a scowl.

"This is cute," Pat laughed and tapped the ring that was hanging from William's neck.

"Yeah, thanks. It's for sale," he glowered, grabbing his sticks from the table.

"Uh oh!" Pat giggled. He loved nothing more than drama. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Not anymore," William laughed bitterly. Dave tried to look busy with the board, but he was listening to every word. "Anne took off last night."

Dave looked up when Nate muttered something under his breath and left the room.

"She was a fucking bitch anyways. She finally graduates and acts like she's hot shit... she loves to rub the money thing in my face, you know? But you know what? I bet she's probably fucking another broke drummer right now," he laughed bitterly and cracked his knuckles. "He can have her. She's a really boring fuck anyways."

Dave gritted his teeth, "Are you going to lay this track, man? We're not paying out the ass to sit in the control room."

Dave glared down at the board as the drum track recorded, his mind firmly on Anna. Did she actually sleep around like that? Why was William so callous about the whole break up? They seemed in love, at least enough to get engaged and he was wearing her ring around his neck like some lovesick high school kid. Kinda like the lovesick high school kid Dave had been with Anna. Maybe this was her thing, letting guys fall hard for her then running when it got too serious. The thought of her drifting from bed to bed was like a kick to the gut and he called a break, retreating to the driveway with his cigarettes. He was kicking the tires on his car when Nate quietly joined him, looking more than a little uncomfortable.

"Hey," he started.

"Hey, man."

Nate took a deep breath before the words came quickly, "I just wanted to explain my little outburst back there." Dave was confused for a moment. What outburst? Quietly leaving the room? Lucky stiff had never witnessed an epic Cobain outburst. He was about to assure him that everything was cool, but Nate went on. "It's just that Anna left William for a damn good reason."

"Oh yeah?" he tried to appear casual and disinterested, but every bit of him was on edge.

"She... look, I'm not trying to start a rift in the band here, but Anna and I were friends before I ever met Will."

"Okay..." Dave narrowed his eyes, concerned about where this was headed. Had Anna fucked Nate now too?

"And I know you don't know her, but she's really great. One of my closest friends, kinda like Pat and Jennifer... you'd love her, actually. She's hilarious and a sweetheart and-"

"Where where you headed with this?" Dave interrupted; he had come outside to clear his head, not be reminded of Anna's better qualities.

"Yeah, so... her and Will have been fighting a lot lately and Kate asked her to move in with us until she could get back on her feet. She showed up last night in bad shape, man," he looked at the gravel driveway and shook his head. "... bad shape."  

[anotherfiveyears]

14: If It Keeps On Rainin’

*February 1995*

"Is Anna not coming?" Nate asked when William finally appeared out of some back room.

"Nah, she'd rather stay home and watch X-Files," he muttered, his eyes darting around to avoid everyone's stare.

Dave shoved away his disappointment and went back to tuning his guitar. They were playing their first gig as a band, as the Foo Fighters at the Marine Building. It was pissing rain, as it always did in February in Seattle, but a large group of friends and family had braved the weather to watch them play. There had been several requests for them to play bigger venues right out of the gate, The Paramount and The Showbox being two of the most intense, but Dave wanted to start things out low key. At least, that's what he was telling everyone. Truthfully, he wasn't ready to be confronted with the old Nirvana gig posters and a marquee screaming that two out of the four living Nirvana members would be performing. Fuck that, this wasn't Nirvana. He was hoping Anna would be there to watch, but that apparently wasn't to be either.

They played through almost the entire album, adding B-sides Winnebago and Podunk just for kicks. Dave thought they sounded pretty tight and the crowd was totally into it, all in all, it felt great. The perfect foray back into the only life he knew and loved. Afterward, he stood around the keg with Nate, laughing loudly about someone's sister trying to crowd surf next to someone else's grandma when he felt a hand graze against his back and linger a bit too long on his shoulder. Looking back as they hurried away in an oversized hoodie, their head ducked low, even several drinks in he knew it was Anna. He made sure Jennifer was preoccupied with her glass of wine and ran to catch up when Anna darted out a side door. It led to an old shipping ramp that was littered with discarded tires and stacks of pallets, and when the door slammed behind him it was eerily quiet.

"Marco..." he called onto the empty loading dock, remembering all the times he and Anna had played in her parent's pool the summer they were together.

Her giggle echoed off the brick walls and he found her behind a wall of pallets waiting for him. "Hey," she nodded, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed them.

"Hi!" he yelled back, frowning when he realized he didn't have any volume control anymore.

"You're drunk," she laughed.

"Wasted," he agreed and took another drink of his beer while looking her over. "You decided to come after all."

Her eyes darted back to the door, but she smiled brightly. "You guys sounded great up there. This is going to be it for you."

"Nah, the last thing was it, but I'm happy you're here."

"Yeah, about that," she said quickly, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him behind the stack of pallets when the back door opened again. "If anyone asks, I wasn't here. Okay?"

"What? Why?" he searched her face, then tipped his head back when he realized. "Oh, I get it. You want us to sneak around behind Will's back!" He ignored the terror on her face and slurred on, thinking he was hilarious, "Now, I might look like that kind of guy Anna, and you would be exactly right. Where should we go? You have a car here?"

"No- David, no," she stepped close and put her hands on his shoulders to stop him.

"We don't have to sneak around, you know. I'll put an actual diamond on your finger, not...," he picked her hand off his shoulder and frowned at her tiny engagement ring, "whatever this is. I'll get a quick divorce and then we can get to work on those eight-"

"David! Stop!" she yelled, startling them both into silence.

"You're the only one here that calls me David. You're the only one here that knows me," he said quietly, reaching forward to tuck her hair behind her ear. He trailed his fingers to her neck, frowning when her hand flew up to stop him.

"You did so great up there, kitten" she whispered. "I'm so proud of you." The door to the ramp flew open again and Anna gasped, her eyes blinking rapidly at the sound.

"It's just a door, Ann-"

"No, I know, I know," she tried to laugh it off but moved back out of his reach. "Look, I have to go, but I just wanted to tell you... all... those things."

"Anna, wait," he tried to follow her, but she ran down the ramp and into the shipping yard.

"Have fun tonight!" she called over her shoulder, then disappeared around a tall metal fence.

[anotherfiveyears]

10: Carry That Weight

The long hallway gave him time to watch her as she walked ahead of him. She was definitely taller than he remembered her, though she was wearing heels. It was like she had grown into her body, the sharp angles were now soft curves and the young adorableness had morphed into the fox in front of him. He was staring at the way her ass moved in her tight dress when he noticed she was limping a little like she was favoring a hurt hip or leg. Had she fought off the swamp monster to get his wallet back and been injured? Maybe he needed to take her to get a rabies shot. He laughed at his own joke and she turned to give him a questioning look.

"You okay?" he asked, biting back his smile. "You're limping a little."

"Yeah, just a bit sore," she said quickly, then stopped in front of a door marked 2112. "You know it's funny, I totally thought of you when they gave me the Rush room."

"How the hell did you even get this?" She was only nineteen, there was no way they'd rent to her alone.

She shot him a wicked smile. "My ID says I'm 25."

He nodded at her but was still thinking about her limp. Had he hurt her when they... she wasn't limping before they... wait... oh fuck. Oh, fucking shit. Oh no. "Anna...," he asked carefully, his voice shaking a bit, "back there... at the club... us... was that...?"

She played dumb as she dug for her hotel keys in her bag, "Was it what?"

"Was that your first time?"

She cleared her throat and turned the key. "Sorry, I probably wasn't much fun," she said quietly.

He stood dazed in the hallway, replaying the night in his head. He had actually taken her virginity on some filthy desk in the back of a dingy dive bar and he hadn't been very nice about it. The sound she made when he was first inside of her rang in his ears, making him cringe.

"Are you gonna come in or can I close the door?" she asked.

He mechanically walked into the room, barely registering that she had lied about having two beds and slumped onto the lone queen sized bed. "Anna, I'm so sorry. If I had known..." he looked around as if the room would explain for him. If he had known he wouldn't have touched her, he would have left well enough alone and said his goodbyes then and there, let some other idiot have what he himself didn't deserve.

"Don't be sorry," she said, leaning against the bed to take her heels off. "I'm glad it's over with."

"But it wasn't... you know... romantic," he replied, feeling like an idiot when she laughed loudly.

"So it's not always like that!" she teased. "I'm gonna take a shower... unless you want to go first?"

He shook his head and waved her off, wanting to be alone with his self-loathing. The shower churned on and the sound of water splashing off skin drifted into the bedroom. He listened for a moment before thinking maybe he could make it up to her. Shrugging out of his clothes, he quietly slipped into the shower behind her. He felt his heart in his throat at the sight of her, but his stomach dropped when he noticed the wisps of blood circling the drain. She stared back at him with wide eyes, pulling her long hair off her back and over her shoulder to try and cover herself just a little. She looked scared and a little shy, but without all the makeup and tight clothes, she was his Annie again.

All it took was one arm outstretched for him and he was on her, kissing every inch of skin he could reach while she held him to her. This time he was gentle, holding her up against the tile wall and easing into her as if she were made of glass. Her nails dug into him again, though this time it wasn't from pain. He smiled against her lips, thinking he would forego a shirt at his next gig to let everyone see her scratches on his skin before remembering there were no more gigs for him. The band was done and so was he. Maybe he should forget Seattle and take Anna home. They could get married and start on those eight kids he had promised her so many years ago. But the thought of him being a washed-up musician at 21 made him falter and Anna gasped when he suddenly pulled back, setting her feet back on the shower floor.

"We should go to bed," he said quietly, unable to meet her eyes. He wanted to just go to sleep and get this hellish night over with.

"I guess I have a lot to learn," she tried to laugh it off while handing him a towel, but her smile didn't linger any longer than it needed to.

They dropped side by side onto the bed and lay staring at the ceiling for a while before Anna was the first to speak.

"Did I do something wrong?"

He groaned and lifted his hands to cover his face. "No..." If this wasn't the worst day of his life so far, it was definitely in the top five.

Clearly embarrassed, she yanked the sheets up and around her neck making him feel even more guilty than before.

"Come here," he muttered, hoping that just putting his arm around her would ease her anxiety. He was exhausted, but the moment he felt her against him he knew his body would think otherwise.

"David?" her whisper trembled a little. He answered by pressing his lips into her forehead, then wondering what in the hell possessed him to do so.

"I'm glad it was you," she breathed.

"Yeah, me too." He was glad that it was him for several reasons, most of them selfish. Tilting her chin up to kiss her lips, he wondered if there was a way to tell Craig Williams that Anna had chosen him after all.

In a fit of bravery, she threw her leg over his hips and trailed kisses down his neck to his chest. Fearing she would continue south he held her to him, mumbling something vaguely romantic about wanting to kiss her instead. Truthfully, he was scared she would show some skill in that field and he would always wonder who she had practiced on.

She surprised him again by sitting up and looking down at him with her bottom lip between her teeth. "Okay so how do I...?"

He couldn't help but laugh at her. She was so innocent, yet didn't feel the need to hide it. "Jesus, Anna," he chuckled. If she wanted lessons, he was now a more than willing instructor.

"Sorry," she giggled a little but her eyes went wide when he sat up, bringing them face to face again.

With one hand positioning himself beneath her and the other holding her arm, he guided her down until he was fully sunk in her. He watched her unsuccessfully hide the pain on her face and gently kissed her. "It won't always hurt," he promised.

Anna let out a long breath and smiled, careful not to move her hips too much. "Oh, thank god."

He shifted a little beneath her, watching her eyes close and lips part just so. He thought she couldn't be any sexier than she was right then because she wasn't trying. She let her damp hair fall in her face and he raked it back with his fingers, holding her head to pull her into a kiss while gripping her hip to guide her into a rhythm.

A shadow of a smile graced her lips as he dragged his thumb along her jaw. "Something funny?"

"Just trying not to think about what made you so good at this," her smile now a full grin. "Or who..."

"Whoever she was, she wasn't as sexy as you."

She raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical of his comment but also encouraged by it as she began to move at her own speed while shoving him back down to the bed. He watched her for a bit, letting her find a pace she liked and committing it to memory before copying her move and pushing her backward onto the foot of the mattress. Her hair fanned out around her as she giggled and a familiar sense of happiness spread through him. She might have been a virgin just a few hours ago, but he was new to this as well. He had never been with someone he actually cared about. All the times before it was a fleeting moment in some van or crash pad, once under the actual stage his friends were performing on, but they were never comfortable enough to laugh together or hold a conversation during or after. He resumed her original pace, hoping she was getting as close as he was.

"David...," she panted, her voice strained and tense like the rest of her.

He turned his head to whisper in her ear, "Relax, baby. I've got you."

She was hesitant but the moment she did as she was told, she hit her peak. Ever the heart of the rhythm section, he kept his steady pace as she rode out the storm raging inside of her. The incoherent moans gradually became decipherable and her words led him straight to his own edge. David, I missed you so much, I should have never-, I never wanted to-, oh, David. Where her words were ardent and lustful, his were sharp and needy. Fuck, Anna, I missed you too, I needed you, no one ever felt as good as this...

He didn't realize until the moment his hips ground to a stop against her that he wasn't just fucking his teenage sweetheart, he was making love to her. He waited for the regret that blindsided him earlier at the bar, but it never came. Just a sense of calm accomplishment that he was responsible for the dreamy smile on her face.

"What was that?" she whispered, staring up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes.

"You've never done that either?" he laughed and rolled off of her. Should have stuck with me, Annie. I would have shown you that years ago, he thought.

She shook her head, "Can we do it again?"

"You? Yes. Me? No," he might have been only 21, but he was spent. He curled up next to her and pulled her close, resisting the urge to kiss her again. "Can I ask you something?" he whispered. She shifted a little in his arms and he felt her nod against his shoulder. "Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you sleep with Craig Williams?" He was surprised that the name still felt like venom on his tongue. Jimmy had mentioned one night in a drunken phone call that Anna had been a few dates with him and that it looked like they were in love, resulting in David destroying his kit at a gig in Montreal.

"It just never felt right."

"And some dirty back room in a bar did?"

"It just...," she said softly. "You felt right. I didn't think this is how it would happen, but... I don't know. Maybe subconsciously, I was waiting for you to come home."

"Will you at least tell me why you never took my calls?"

She smiled sadly and traced his collarbone with her fingertips. "This is your thing, David. You're a musician and you belong out there, away from Virginia. We both know that girlfriends only stand in the way of that and we both know I won't be that girl."

"You couldn't have told me that at the airport?" he remembered how badly that hurt, pathetically waiting for her in front of his new bandmates only for them to tease him all the way to fucking Germany.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, finally meeting his eyes. "I couldn't break up with you at the airport. I thought it would be easier if I just didn't go."

He laughed sharply and rolled away from her, "Well you thought wrong."

"You've been okay though," she offered, propping herself onto an elbow. "You're in a great band, you've released an album... Dad can't keep it in stock at the shop," she added softly.

"He's not hiring is he?" he asked bitterly, staring up at the ceiling.

She was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Band break up?"

"Bassist ditched us this morning."

"So now what?"

"I have one option, but it's a long shot," he shrugged.

"I'm headed home in a couple days if you want to tag along," she offered.

"Thanks, but the audition is in Seattle," he suddenly remembered that she had retrieved his stolen wallet from the swamp monster. "Thanks to you I just might get there."

She smiled at that and leaned down to kiss his cheek, "They're going to love you."

**

He woke before the sun came up the next morning, wrapped tightly around Anna's heavily sleeping frame. Staying motionless as long as he could stand it, he soaked up everything about her even though he knew it would hurt like a motherfucker later. He gradually unwound himself from her, tucking her tightly into the bed among the pillows and blankets before getting dressed. It took everything he had in him, but he didn't look back before leaving and locking the door behind him.    

[anotherfiveyears]

6: School’s Out

"It fucking burns, dude!"

"Well, I followed the directions on the box!"

"Get it off my head!" David screamed, leaning over the bathtub at his house while Jimmy flailed around behind him.

"If we take it off now it won't dye!"

"Just the part on my head, then!"

He leaned into the tub while Jimmy rinsed the dye from his scalp, careful to keep the white bleach in the ends.

"Better?" Jimmy asked, helping him sit up to keep the water from dripping in his eyes.

"Yeah, thanks," David sighed. "Fuck, dude! How do girls do this shit?"

"What are you two morons doing?" Lisa asked, hurrying down the hallway to see what all the screaming was about.

"We're bleaching his hair," Jimmy replied, focused on re-reading the back of the box of dye.

"Shit," she groaned. "Does mom know?"

"No."

"Okay!" she cried, throwing her hands up and heading back down the hallway to her room. "I officially had nothing to do with this!"

*

"Oh... oh my god," Anna stopped short in the doorway when she arrived for her shift at the record shop. "David! What did you do?!"

"I'm a blonde!" he grinned at her, though it looked more like he was bearing his teeth.

Anna stifled a laugh with her hand as she made her way to him, circling him to get a better look at his hair. "Half blonde, at least," she snickered.

"Yeah, well... apparently, bleach is made of actual fire, so we decided against putting it on my scalp."

She burst out laughing at that, unable to contain it any longer. "It's all brassy! Were you going for Dee Snyder or Debbie Harry?"

"Neither?"

"Good, cause you missed both by a long shot," she giggled and ran her fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes at the feeling and leaned into her. "I did this for you, you know."

"You did not," she gasped, ripping her hand away.

"You said you liked blondes," he gave her the same grin he gave the cop the night before.

"David!" she cried, scurrying back to the counter.

"Anna!" he mocked.

"No, you know what?" she leaned her elbows on the glass covered table and coyly smiled back at him. "I love it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she nodded and watched him carefully as he got closer to her. "I love that it's different. If you're gonna be my boyfriend, you can't be boring."

"So I'm your boyfriend now?" he teased, feeling his heart pound in his chest.

"Sorry, kitten," she laughed. "After being so gallant last night you kinda have to be. You're just gonna have to get used to it."

"Anna honey, I need you to inventory the-," her dad stopped his interruption short and stared at David over the top of his glasses. "Dear lord, son. What did you do to your head?" He looked around in confusion when both David and Anna began to laugh.

*Early June 1985*

"Anne, the office is asking for you."

She looked up from her calculus final at her teacher and immediately gathered her things into her leather book bag before leaving class. She worriedly jogged down the hallway and into the office where she was met with the dean.

"Anne, your uncle is here. He says there's a family emergency."

She frowned at him and looked around, knowing she didn't have an uncle. Her mom had a couple sisters, but they were unmarried and living on opposite sides of the country. A man in an ill-fitting suit waiting just beyond some glass doors was staring hard at her and Anna turned sharply. "May I please leave my bag with you, Dean Morgan?"

"Of course," he nodded solemnly and took the bag from her. "Would you like me to walk you out?"

"No, no thank you, sir," she whispered, pretending like she was about to cry. "It's just that Gam-Gam has been so sick lately and..."

"I'm so sorry, Anne," he said, awkwardly placing his hand on her shoulder. "I've already rescheduled your finals, take all the time you need."

She kept her head down, darting out the office doors into the breezeway where her "uncle" was admiring a large mural painted on the brick wall. "Come on!" she whispered harshly and opened the doors to freedom. They ran down the front steps and dove into the little blue pickup idling in the drop off lane. Anna slid across the vinyl seat and under David's arm while Jimmy climbed into the passenger seat beside her.

"Go, go, go!" Anna yelled and David threw the truck into gear.

"I can't believe that fucking worked," Jimmy laughed once they cleared the parking lot.

"Where the hell did you get that suit?" Anna laughed, helping him out of the oversized sportcoat and tie.

"My brother," he shrugged. "Can we go get Melissa now?"

*

David and Anna waited while Jimmy ran up the walk to Melissa's house.

"So why'd you spring me?" she asked and leaned into him.

"It's a surprise. No one goes to school the last month anyway, you nerd," he shrugged and kissed her, dragging his arms down her sides to the top of her plaid skirt. "How is it that we've been going out for three months and I've never seen you in your school uniform?"

"Because it's a method of oppression meant to keep girls from getting an equal education," she muttered into his shoulder, sighing when he raised an eyebrow at her. "Because it's itchy and I take it off the moment I get a chance?"

David looked out the truck windows and around the quiet street they were on. "You have a chance right now..."

"Perv," she laughed and punched his shoulder, but let him kiss her until Jimmy returned with Melissa.

The four of them crammed into the bench seat of David's pickup, heading north on the parkway while blasting This Side Up, the latest Scream record Anna had scooped up for David just before it was released in May. He knew she was getting worried, they had been driving for an hour and were just on the outskirts of Baltimore, but he had cleared everything with her father already. "If you can get her out of class without getting caught, I'll buy all four of you hooligans tickets," he had said. The four Scream tickets were waiting in David's paycheck envelope that morning. He slowed down as they passed the venue in downtown Baltimore, an actual club, not some community center or crumbling military building they were used to punk shows being booked in.

"You're fucking kidding me," Anna whispered, reading the marquee. Her eyes slid to David when he only answered with a quiet smile and she shrieked loudly, making Jimmy and Melissa jump. She scrambled to kiss him, pulling his face towards her.

"Anna, I'm driving!"

*

Anna and Melissa sat at the crowded bar while Dave and Jimmy stood behind them, waiting for the support band to finish up. Both girls had fake IDs and had managed to charm security enough to look the other way when their boyfriends followed them to the bar. David had suspected Anna's school uniform had something to do with it and resolved to stick close to her for the night. In an educational setting her knee-high socks, plaid skirt, and white oxford shirt were fitting, but in a punk club, she looked like jailbait or an extra in a Van Halen video. "You guys should go get a spot in the pit now if you want a good one," Melissa said.

David and Jimmy exchanged a look and shook their heads. "Nah, we're fine here," Jimmy replied, though he didn't sound very convincing.

Now was it was Anna and Melissa's turn to share a glance. They had become close over the course of dating two best friends. "Like hell you are," Anna snorted. "Go. We're just fine up here."

"I'm not leaving you alone in a bar in that outfit," he muttered, then immediately regretted it by the look on her face.

"Well if you didn't want me to wear this, you should have gotten me a change of clothes before kidnapping me," Anna said the last words loud enough that several people turned to stare at them.

"Yeah, cause I totally could have walked in your front door and asked your parents to pack up your club clothes, Annie," he shot back.

She frowned and shifted a little on her bar stool. "Will you two just go and have fun? We'll meet you by the car if anything happens."

Melissa nodded and that was all Jimmy needed before setting his beer back on the bar. "Come on, man," he said, nudging David's shoulder.

David stole a glance at the pit which was filling up fast as people arrived for Scream and felt a small shove on his arm. "Go," Anna insisted, flashing him a confident smile over her beer. "Have fun!"

Scream was in perfect form, thrashing their way through the setlist with the kind of vigor that made David wonder if there was a major studio scout in the audience. He would occasionally catch a glimpse of Anna and Melissa leaning against the bar with smiles on their faces before returning to the mayhem that was the pit. Two hours later, the band left the stage and the crowd was screaming for an encore when David saw Melissa and Anna shoving their way through the crowd toward them. He furrowed his brow at the panicked look on Melissa's face and her urgent whisper once Jimmy put his arm around her.

"They do an encore, right?" Anna asked when she made it to his side.

"Everything okay?" he noticed her hair was a little messy but she seemed fine.

"Yes...," she leaned forward to look at Melissa and sighed. "There was a minor altercation at the bar, but it's handled now."

David whipped around to see several bouncers standing in a circle, staring down at someone on the floor. "What-?"

"Some guy wouldn't leave us alone and she laid him out!" Melissa yelled excitedly.

He turned back to Anna, but she was busy watching the band return to the stage. She held her hand up to show him her swollen knuckles and shrugged. "Like I said. Everything is handled," she said over the cheering crowd. *

Jimmy and Melissa had long since fallen asleep, leaning on each other in the tiny pickup cab. Anna rested her head on David's shoulder as he drove with one hand, the other one holding hers in her lap.

"Thank you, kitten" she whispered. "That was so much fun."

"Glad you liked it, lil' lady," he drawled. "Even though you had to get in a bar fight." He was so tired and hoping she'd stay awake to keep him company for the hour and a half long drive.

She laughed a little and turned to kiss his shoulder. "That's gonna be you up there someday." He stayed quiet at that. She was always complimenting his drumming and he never knew how to respond. "I'm serious," she went on. "You're way better than the guy tonight and he was getting paid!"

He snorted a laugh, "Yeah, probably just enough to buy gas to get home."

"You know what I mean. I think you should start auditioning for bigger bands, David. You have the talent. You're that good." Once again he stayed quiet. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles, tearing his eyes from the parkway for a moment to look at her. "I promise."

[anotherfiveyears]

2: You’re Lost Little Girl

"It's you!"

David glanced up from the counter at the familiar voice and fought the urge to roll his eyes. She skipped towards him and leaned against the counter, grinning at him. "Yeah, it's me," he grumbled, turning away from her to study the shelves behind him.

"Any requests?"

He spun back around to find her behind the counter, kneeling in front of the stereo system that was tucked under the register. "What are you doing? You can't be-"

"Making our work day a little more tolerable," she muttered, flipping through the 8" vinyl collection in a milk crate next to her. "You into Siouxsie?"

He hesitated for a moment, registering that she was the Anne on the schedule next to his name and that she was asking if he wanted to listen to new wave. "That's fine," he said coolly. The pastel blue of her shirt caught his eye as she moved next to him.

"I'm Anna," she chirped and held out her hand. "Or Anne, if you'd rather."

He stared down at the massive pink scrunchie on her wrist and shook her hand. "What would you rather?" he asked, knowing what it was like when strangers took the liberty to call him Dave or even worse, Davey.

She laughed, taking him by surprise. "Anything but Annie, but I guess I'd rather my dad not name me after the only woman to write a Led Zeppelin song in the first place. Anna is fine." He found himself smiling at that, thinking maybe she would be somewhat tolerable after all. "Can I call you Dave?" she asked.

Nope, she'd be insufferable. "No," he said flatly.

She gave him a little smile and shrugged, returning to the stereo system to load the Siouxsie and the Banshees record.

"So what did you think of The Germs?" he asked. He had gone home that night and listened to that album, trying to wrap his brain around the girl in the preppy outfit with the skateboard.

"Oh," she laughed a little and grabbed a feather duster from under the register. "I already had the vinyl I just needed something to skate to."

He narrowed his eyes as she bounced away from him. So she likes punk and skateboards, but she still looks and acts like a Wham! fan?

"So are you a musician, David?" she called back to him, dancing the duster over the tiny country music section.

"Yeah, guitar and bass," he replied, watching her carefully as she smugly nodded. "What?"

"Oh... nothing," she said sweetly, apparently enjoying her own little joke.

"What?" he insisted, making his way over to her.

"It's really nothing," she smiled. "You just don't see drummers anymore."

"I know my way around a kit," he insisted, annoyed at her smugness.

"I'm sure you do," she replied.

"Oh, like you're some new wave Bonham or something?" he snapped at her. Who the hell did she think she was? He was in a band. One that had actual gigs and fans! He was growing his hair out, for Christ sake.

"I know my way around a kit, Dave" she threw his words back at him.

"I'm sure you do, Annie."

"You know what?" she said, all semblance of sarcasm and joking gone as she slammed the duster down on the shelf. "I've only ever been nice to you. Did I offend you in some way or are you just an asshole?"

David stepped back in surprise. "You just... you don't look like you listen to punk," he looked her up and down as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm fifteen and my mom works on The Hill," she shot back, waving her hand to the east where the three branches of the country's government churned out oppression. "Do you honestly think they'd let me go around wearing fishnets and safety pins?" He crossed his arms, once again put in his place, but she went on. "Maybe tell your band buddies to start offering merch for girls. They'd make a killing." She brushed past him and returned to the counter, sitting on the high stool with a huff.

"So are you in a band?" he asked softly, trying to get back on the right track with her. They had all day together in that tiny record store and he didn't want to spend it immersed in awkward tension.

"Not at the moment," she said, distracted by the inventory list in front of her.

"Is your boyfriend in a band?" he said it before he could stop himself, but he was curious if she was seeing anyone. She was pretty enough and if she knew who The Germs were, that bumped her up to the hot category.

"Oh," she laughed a little and turned back to the inventory list. "I don't date guys in bands."

"Is that a hard and fast rule?"

"I like it hard and fast, but the rule is firm," she muttered, still focused on the ledger.

He was about to offer her hard and fast in the back room when a door slammed somewhere in the building, startling them both. "Anne!"

"Shit," she whispered before darting off into the back.

[anotherfiveyears]

3: Good Times Bad Times

David edged down the narrow hallway that separated the shop from the back room listening carefully to Anna argue with his hulk of a boss.

"Daddy, stop. You know damn well it's Darryl," she pleaded, her hands out to her sides.

"Watch your language, Anne. Darryl's been here longer than you two put together," he growled.

"And how long has money been missing?" she asked, now crossing her arms. There was a pause when the bells on the front door rang and Anna's voice drifted from the back room. "Could you get that please, David?" she asked sweetly.

He didn't hesitate before hurrying out into the shop, only to be confronted by a pissed off Darryl wearing a ratty Iron Maiden shirt. "Oh hey," David said smoothly.

Darryl only grunted and barged behind the counter, close enough that David could tell he was sweating and shaking. David stepped back and watched as Darryl opened the register and lifted the cash tray, sifting through the checks underneath when Anna's dad appeared in the doorway. "You," he snarled. "In the back. Now."

Darryl jumped upright and began to spew excuses, following his boss into the tiny office in the very back. Anna slipped behind the counter and gently put her hand on David's arm. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "He knows it wasn't you."

"I think Darryl's high," David whispered back, a little worried Darryl would put up a fight.

"Yeah, he's a junkie," she said, leaning back to make sure the back room was empty. "Gives me the creeps."

David was about to reply, but there was a crash followed by yelling in the back room before Darryl burst out into the shop. "You don't realize who I am, old man!" he bellowed. "You don't realize who my parents are! This place will be shut down in a week!" He stumbled back down the aisle and out the door, trying unsuccessfully to slam it behind him.

"Idiot," her father said, unimpressed by Darryl's empty threat. "Sorry, kids."

"It's okay, Dad," Anna said softly, leaving David's side to hug her dad.

"No, it's not okay," he shook his head and looked up at David. "I shouldn't have blamed either of you when the evidence was right there in front of me. The guys back on the force would love to hear about this!" he chuckled a bit and headed back to his office.

"I'm going to assume he doesn't mean the Star Wars force," David finally said once he and Anna were alone again.

She laughed at that, effectively ridding the room of the awkward tension. "No, though that would be way cooler. He was with Metro PD when I was little, then had a scare and my mom made him quit. That's when we moved out to Arlandria and he found this place."

"Yup," her father appeared in the doorway again with a goofy smile. "Got a couple bullets in my ass and decided to buy an old porn shop to turn it into a record store! Living the dream!"

"Oh my god, Dad," Anna groaned but smiled back at him as David laughed.

"Your mom's working late tonight," he said to her, turning to leave again, "Trying to pass that goddamn Reagan bill. Dinner's at six, though. Night, kids!"

"Did someone really shoot him?" David asked once they heard the back door slam shut.

"Yeah, he interrupted an armed robbery at a gas station," she shrugged as if everyone's father had been shot at their job. "He was buying me candy on his way home from work."

"Harsh," he replied, not sure what else to say.

"It was a long time ago, but I still think of it every time I have candy," she muttered, leaning across the counter to pick through the jar of lollipops.

They sat together behind the counter for the rest of their shift, discussing music and their families, school and their friends while listening to Led Zeppelin's entire discography. She was attending a prestigious private school just a few blocks from his public high school and was in several AP courses, on track to graduate early with honors while he had to be talked into getting the car every morning by his mother. They were so immersed in conversation that Anna gasped when she noticed the clock behind David's head.

"Holy shit we were supposed to close fifteen minutes ago," she giggled.

They went about their closing duties with Anna teaching David how to count out the till and how to work the safe. He was shutting down the stereo system when she came out of the back room with her coat and bag. "All set?"

"Yeah. Hey, what are you doing tonight?" he heard himself ask, not really sure where it came from.

She threw her purse over her shoulder and turned to him with a slight smile. "I've got plans. How 'bout you?"

David felt himself blushing and just hoped it wasn't noticeable. "Yeah, same," he said unconvincingly.