#fifty shades of K

[motsenvractmblr]

*An excerpt from our love story that exists only in my imagination*

Dear Kristian.

As a sort of love, I'd be the one who enjoys watching your features while you're sleeping, tracing the soft lines of your face with my eyes, memorizing the way your lips curl into the faintest smile even in dreams. I'd be the first one to kiss you in the morning, gently brushing my lips against yours, waking you with a tender touch that speaks of my endless devotion. _"I’d be the one who enjoys gazing at those beautiful eyes of yours"._ I'd be the one to enjoy being your partner in everything, the one who walks beside you through the mundane and the magical, finding joy in simply being by your side.

I'd cherish the moments when we’d laugh together over the smallest things, our shared glances becoming secret codes only we understand. I'd love the way your hand feels in mine, a perfect fit, as if the universe conspired to bring us together. I'd enjoy doing and sharing every detail in my day with you, from the first sip of coffee in the morning to the quiet moments before sleep, where our conversations would weave together the fabric of our life.

I’d take delight in the little things—like the way you absentmindedly hum your favourite tune or the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. And in the silent moments, when words are no longer needed, I’d hold you close, feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat as if it were the only sound that mattered in the world.

In this imagined love story, I'd be yours completely, giving you all of me, not because I have to, but because I want to, because loving you would be the greatest joy of my life. And in my dreams, I'd hope that somehow, in some way, you'd feel the same, that this love, though it exists only in my imagination, would one day find its way into reality, where we could live out this story together, forever entwined in each other's hearts.

Dear blue kris,

I love you. I'm deeply in love with your eyes; they hold the entire universe within them, and every time I look into them, I lose myself. I want to keep you away from the eyes of the world, to shelter you from anything that might take you away from me. I'd take you away from everyone, hide you away in a place where only we exist, just to keep you mine, just to ensure that nothing ever comes between us. You are my everything, and all I want is to you. Kristian. 💙

- By: mots en vrac / H.H.B -

[angelamelia111]

my p💋ssy tastes like pepsi cola

my eyes are wide like cherry pies

i got a taste for men who are older

[myravenkafka]

Need someone to treat me like a fifty shades movie, like right now🩶

[lynxindisguise]

35 & 56 wolfstar!

bathtub fic + awful first meeting… hehe

remus is a ravenclaw prefect taking a lovely little soak in the prefect’s bathroom after a full moon. he falls asleep, and when he wakes up, the gryffindor miscreant sirius black is in the bath with him! he panics and flails and nearly drowns, and sirius just laughs at him :( he tries to make him leave because he is definitely not a prefect and this is against the rules and also his collarbones are very distracting, but sirius is like “make me ;)” and he nearly drowns again.

trope mash-up

[debauched-devotee]

Ended up in a fifty shades of grey scenario but instead of it being sexy I got drunk and had a mental breakdown😋

[padreisdaddy]

This is one of my favourite positions

bellum omnium in omnes

[kslyricdiary]

[enchanting-ambi]

[sweetteainthesummerx]

it's nice to have a friend !

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

nhl masterlist !

pairings: jack hughes x shy!reader, jack hughes x bsf!reader, nico hischier x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader

warnings: mutual pining, fluff

summary: you gain a best friend and a lover, all in one !

song: it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift

word count: 3.3 k

notes: I love me a reformed bad boy! this is based on this request: here. I hope you like it!

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

school bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow, lost my gloves, you give me one

"are you okay, miss?" a voice asks from behind you, and you jump.

it's a boy. he's real pretty, features the perfect balance between masculine built and delicate feminine.

you're so sure that you're fifty shades of red right now, but he smiles kindly at you.

"sorry, it's just you look really cold." he points at your hands, and the fact that your teeth are chattering.

you realize that you're still silent.

you hate that you're so painfully shy. it's especially hard after you moved from your hometown for work, where the little amount of friends had to bid you goodbye with worry.

sure, you talk to your coworkers, but it's not the same.

"I-i'm okay." you try to smile, but it comes out more like a grimace.

jack, you find out his name is, was raised by his mother to never leave a lady in distress (you almost laugh at that). he offers you his gloves, still warm from his own hands. you thank him quietly, and he grins wide, "you're welcome, sweetheart."

the sidewalk is still covered in snow, but he walks you back to your apartment building, where the two of you find out something else you have in common: you're practically neighbours.

he lives only 4 or 5 doors down from you.

he drops you off, brushing your fingers with his own bigger ones as he tells you to come find him if you need anything at all.

as he watches you enter the safety and warmth of your own apartment, he frowns.

why would he do that? normally he wouldn't care about this kind of stuff, but you looked so cold and down.

so when you offered him that sweet, shy smile, he melts despite the cold jersey weather.

it's weird, because you're very pretty, but he doesn't have the itch to fuck you and leave you.

he wants to know why you're here, what you do, you're favourite colour.

his phone dings with the notification of some instagram model he met up with a week ago. he sighs, turning back from his own door to go meet her.

for some reason, he doesn't want to go.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

"wanna hang out?", yeah, sounds like fun, video games, you pass me a note

you bite your lip, and retract your hand once more. you want to knock, but you...

just do it! you tell yourself, and you knock quickly, wincing.

a boy who is decidedly not jack answers the door.

"uh, hi?" he's tall, with curly hair and a lanky body.

you freeze up a little.

fortunately, jack pops up from behind.

he calls your name, with excitement and surprise. it makes something warm bloom in your chest.

"I brought you guys cookies?" it comes out more like a question, "I brought you guys cookies, because you walked me home last week."

normally, luke would be teasing his older brother - and the fact he was cheesing like an idiot still - but he smells the cookies first.

to your surprise, the younger boy grabs you by the wrist to drag you into the apartment, thanking you for the baked goods.

he offers you a hug, introducing himself.

you're a bit unnerved, but he's so cute, like a little puppy that you hug him back, patting his shoulder while stifling a smile. he reminds you a bit of your own little brother.

jack pouts. no way luke got a hug before him. so he sidles up to you, tucking you under his arm.

"wanna hang out with us? we're playing video games."

you don't know much, but you do know you like how he's looking at you, all soft brown eyes and crooked smile.

so you tuck yourself into the couch.

you find out a lot about both of them: they're brothers who play for the same nhl team - impressive - they can finish a whole batch of cookies in 20 minutes, and they have lots of friends.

people start popping up into the apartment, nico, johnny and so many more large, kind boys who hug you in greeting.

you almost don't mind, especially when jack texts you from across the room.

he's watching you from the kitchen where you're speaking in choppy german to nico. he's worried, because the first time he met you, you were so shy and shaking in your boots.

you all good? I can walk you home if the boys are tiring you out

you look up, a small grin on your face as you shake your head at him.

you look so at home on his couch with his friends, that something blind and unfamiliar stirs in his stomach. he ignores an incoming text from the instagram model he met up with, in favour to watch nico explain german grammar to you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew, twenty questions, we tell the truth

jack thinks you're an angel. he'd come back to the apartment after a really hard game, battered and bruised. you show up to his door like you have been for a while, sometimes when it's just the two of you, sometimes when many of the boys are there.

this time, you're holding a bag in your hands. he sighs as he opens the door, falling into your arms.

"oh-! jack, you're too heavy!" you exclaim, trying to hold his weight. he pouts, leading you to the couch. he pushes you down gently, and you let him.

he snuggles up to you, head cradled by your chest.

he waits for you to coo and fuss over him, because you're just so kind and he finds this unprecedented comfort in you.

you feel like home, despite only knowing him for a few months.

"you okay?" you ask, and he pushes his head into your hands. you smile, getting the message.

you finally scratch his head, and he practically purrs. he settles into you, full weight like a thick blanket as you push through his hair with your nails.

"there you go," you murmur, quiet and loving. he thinks you'd be a good mom someday, and his heart twists when he thinks of you with someone else, making a home.

"can you scratch my back?" he knows he's being whiny, but you brush your thumb over his cheek and nod.

you're about to slip your hand under his shirt, but he sits up, tugging it over his head and returning to you like he always seems to do these days.

he slides his arms under your back, rubbing his head to your stomach.

you flush red, something unfamiliar spiking through your blood. he's all thick, soft muscles, unlike the vanity ones you see on some guys. raw, simple strength to take the hits and deliver them in his sport.

he's so handsome.

you scratch your nails down his back and he shivers.

"cold?" you hum, but he shakes his head.

after a while, he lets you get up because your legs are numb.

"you're too heavy," you grin again, and he complains that you're calling him fat.

he's ridiculous, with his abs under soft skin and big biceps. he still hasn't put his shirt back on.

"so, what's in the bag?" he asks, and you brighten up.

you dump it out on to the couch: it's face masks, eye masks and skin care.

"I like to relax with this, so I thought maybe you would like it?" you ask shyly, "we don't have to-"

"no!" jack exclaims, throwing everything into the bag and standing, "I want to. see what the hype is about."

he's seen the cute couple pictures online with the girl doing the guy's skincare; something about you suggesting it makes his feel ten feet tall.

so that's how he ends up with you on his bathroom counter, himself between your legs as you rub shaving cream onto his face.

"you better not slice me up," he pokes your tummy, and you giggle.

"don't worry, jackpot," you use his nickname, "cant' have the fans mourning your pretty face."

you carefully shave off his stubble, eyes concentrated.

you're so close, and you smell you, and you're so careful with him he wants to kiss you and give you his heart.

you hold his hair back as he washes his face. the act is so intimate, and the whole scene is so domestic that it makes him homesick for something he's never had.

"okay, so I'll put the eye masks on you first, then the clay one."

it's actually pretty relaxing, he has to admit. the eye masks are cool, and the clay mask is a little tight, but he likes to see you smooth it onto your own face, matching his.

he takes his phone, and you slide under his arm, linking yours around his waist.

the both of you smile wide for the mirror selfie, and he makes it his lock screen.

after both of you wash the masks from you - admittedly smoother - skin, he orders a pizza, and you make your way up to the roof.

the light pollution is too bad and he knows that the stars won't be visible, but the pink-inked sky is pretty as your smile.

the two of you talk about everything and nothing: some trick he managed to pull during practice, your co-workers pending divorce, something funny his mom said.

he wishes he could stay here forever, with you.

you, with your soft hair and smile, his too-big hoodie over your shoulders as you lean on him.

he likes seeing you all sleepy and vulnerable, answering his questions quietly.

"do you want a boyfriend?" he asks as the sun goes to bed.

"of course I do," you murmur, "but I just want the right person, at the right time."

he smiles at that. he wants to be that person for you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

you've been stressed out lately? yeah, me too, something gave you the nerve, to touch my hand

"oh, shit." you swear softly, and sophie, your co-worker turned best friend - don't let jack hear that - apologizes.

"sorry! sorry! don't move, bro!" she rubs where the curling iron touched the back of your neck.

"that's gonna leave a mark. I'm sorry, sweetie." she fusses, and you tell her it's okay.

luke and jack are having a party for new years at their place, so you and sophie take that chance to dress up for once.

your makeup is done, so is your hair. you have to admit, sophie's done a real good job.

"yeah, dude. we look hot."

you're wearing a pretty red dress, with thin straps and material that clung to your body.

you were unsure, but Sophie hyped you up enough for you to put it on, and you felt really confident.

except you were a little scared at how short it was.

"hey, girl!" luke exclaimed when you entered their apartment. "you look great. hey, soph!"

he handed you both a drink, scurrying off to greet someone else.

the two of you link hands, trying and laughing while bulldozing through the crowd to get to the living room.

some guy catches soph's eye, and you encourage her to go off and talk to him.

nico finds you, being pushed around by the throng of people, and tucks you under his arm like your a football.

you giggle a little as he manages to navigate the way. jack's sitting on one of the arm chairs, and his eyes brighten when he sees you.

"special delivery!" nico pats your head like he would to his little sister, and you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

the only thing between you is many half-drunk hockey players and drinks on the ground. nico is about to pick you up like a cat, but jack hops his way over, swatting his hands.

"I got it, precious cargo, after all." he slips one hand under your thighs, and another arm wrapped round your waist so you're pressed against his vertically.

you cling to his neck as he makes his way back to his seat, turning you in his arms to fit you onto his lap.

"you look..." he breathes into your ear, "you look gorgeous, baby."

"thanks, jack."

the night continues like normal, until between the sheer amount of people in the apartment and jack's chest pressed against you is making you over heat. as you laugh at one of johnny's jokes you sweep your hair over your shoulder to let your neck breathe.

you feel jack tense beneath you, and he lifts you to stand.

"I-i need a drink," his eyes are panicked and shaky. he bolts, and you stand to go after him. nico and Luke call after you, concerned.

you find him on the roof, leaning over the banister, shoulders shaking.

"jack, honey?" you ask, slipping a hand between his shoulder blades, "do you feel sick?"

the cool air makes goosebumps rise on your skin, even more so when he turns to you, teeth grit.

"no, m'fine. go back to the party."

"not until you tell me-"

"why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?" he blurts out, refusing to look at you.

"huh?" you ask.

"why didn't you tell me? I thought we told each other everything."

"what are you-"

"you don't need to pretend. I know-" he shudders, like it's painful for him to say this, "I know you're..."

"jack-" you start, but he grabs your hands, new determination in his eyes as he draws you close.

"you should know that I'm in love with you. so you have options, baby." his lip is quivering, and his eyes are rimmed with red.

"I-"

"I could treat you better than he could. and I wouldn't hide it, either. we would be so good together..." he's rubbing the length of your arms now, trying to warm you up.

"we already work so well together. we're best friends and you make me laugh so much. you make me feel safe and tethered."

he continues, "and...jeez, baby, you're fucking gorgeous. I just want to press you against a wall and..." he's talking low and heavy in your ear, and you lean closer to him.

"please, just consider me. I wouldn't just leave a hickey on your neck behind your ear and not celebrate new years with you."

"what?" you asked, surprised, "no, that's not a hickey. sophie burnt my neck while curling my hair."

jack colours a brilliant shade of fire work red.

he just got all in his head, seeing you dolled up and loose, that when he saw the mouth sized mark on the smooth nape of your neck, his only thought was: that should've been me.

"fuck."

you've got a teasing smile on your face now, "you loooove me!"

"I am a dumbass."

"a dumbass who loves me." you grin, cupping his neck, smoothing circles over the skin there.

"my offer still stands," he tells you, winding his arms around your waist.

"yes. I love you too, you idiot." the people throughout the apartment building are starting to chant.

3, 2, 1, happy new years!

"happy new years, baby." he says, and he presses his lips softly, and sweetly to yours.

he's so delicate, trying to make sure everything is perfect.

and it is, because he's with you, with the promise of more forever.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

church bells ring, carry me home, rice on the ground looks like snow

"yeah, mom. I know, I've been eating good. my girl's taking care of me."

you hear jack's voice from where you're measuring rice in the pantry. he definitely thinks that the pantry doors are thicker than they are.

you smile, because he takes such good care of you too: he washes your hair in the shower, he carries and stocks your groceries, he always makes sure you're fed and warm when you're too stressed.

and he takes care of you in other ways that makes you warm and all liquidy.

"I'm gonna make her my wife, mom. she's...she's the one. yes, I'll bring her to the lake house for the summer, but I'll have to ask first. okay. bye. love you too."

by that time you've made it out of the room, closer to him. when he says wife, you drop the whole bowl of rice you were holding.

"did you hear that?" jack's ears are pink, but he's got a cheesy smile on his face.

"yeah. you have a really loud voice, honey."

"call me that again." he asks, as you come to stand between his legs as he sits on the barstool of the kitchen counter.

"loud voice," you tease.

he laughs, and when the two of you quiet down, he rests his head on your shoulder.

"I mean it, y'know."

"we've been only dating for like a month," you protest weakly.

"and I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle to me."

"will you cry?"

"no," he lies, even though he's getting a little teary just thinking about it.

"hmm." you kiss him anyways, and Luke finds you there 10 minutes later, still wrapped up together with rice all over the floor.

"you guys are weirdos." he rolls his eyes, making a face as jack kisses your lips again.

"watch it, mister. you're talking to your future sister in law." you joke, and luke jumps, reaching for your hand.

"dude, were you fucking with me?" he whines, "I got all excited too."

jack hollers something insulting his intelligence as you laugh, watching the two boys.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

feels like home, stay in bed, the whole weekend, it's nice to have a friend

jack kisses your forehead as he hands you a plate of food. you bite his cheek as he shrieks.

you laugh, sitting up so he can see his shirt that's practically falling off of your frame.

you and jack had a slow morning, the sun streaming over your naked bodies as you simply enjoyed each other's presence. around noon, he finally got up to shower.

you refused to join him because "no, the two of us showering together would not save water, it would probably waste more."

so he showered, sad and alone, and made breakfast after you went to clean yourself off.

now, watching you eat toast and watch his past game highlights from last weekend, he knows.

he knows it's going to be you, no matter what.

he knows it's you he wants to grow old with, and have three kids - two boys, one girl, he has the names all planned out - and that picket fence shit.

he knows it's you who'll take care of him with your soft hands and heart at the end of the day, and you'll be the one he'll protect and provide for too.

he knows that he loves you like the back of his hand.

and he knows you're his best friend, the love of his life.

so he knows that he wants to make you his wife.

he leans over to his bedside drawer and pulls out a box.

he got it the weekend after the two of you got together, and he's shaking as you turn to him with wide eyes.

"I love you. you're...you're it for me, baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I promise to keep you safe and warm and always finish your plate when you're full," he knows you too well, because your left overs are already on his plate, "and I just want all of you. will you marry me?"

"yes," you breathe, tackling him into the bed with a delighted whoop.

there's no other words to describe it, it's so nice to have you.

it's so nice to have you forever, now.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

[shadow4-1]

Interchange - Call of Duty BodySwap/UniverseSwap!AU (SFW)

(A mission goes awry and you end up in a place quite dissimilar from your own.)

“Johnny no!”

You threw your entire weight against him, throwing him off balance. With a gasp he fell off the metal platform backwards, his gun clattering loudly to the ground. You fell with him, hitting your knees against the grating, still atop the platform. You tried to crawl off the edge but it was too late.

A bright, swirling heat began to emanate from the sensors above you. They bathed both you and Johnny in an alien light. You winced, almost completely unable to see the man in front of you. He tried to stand but he wasn’t quick enough to even get up on his knees. Somewhere in the room Price was screaming your name.

Something told you that whatever was about to happen was going to hurt.

You called down to Johnny over the few feet between you. You got one last good look at his bright, now scared, eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

The white light that had enveloped you faded away enough for you to see.

You blinked and blinked at the white spots still dancing in your eyes. You were still on the metal platform, nearly hanging off the edge. You could breathe again and so you greedily panted in the warm air. A trickle of sweat dripped down your brow and you blinked it out of your eyes.

“Ay, love!” Johnny yelled, now on his feet. “C’mere, I go’ ye.”

Your ears were still ringing from the loud hum of whatever energy had been released. Johnny sounded like he was talking through a filter. You tried to look down at his face but everything was still hazy. You reached an arm out to him and he took it. Uncharacteristically, he jerked your entire body forward, causing you to fall off the platform.

Something was off.

Instead of falling to floor, you managed to easily right yourself midair and land on your feet. You felt lighter, more agile, than before. It felt like maybe you’d lost fifty pounds except, well. You patted your hip curiously. You most certainly hadn’t lost any weight.

“Y’ broken?” Johnny asked again, his voice rougher than before. He patted the same section of your hip and you winced from his sudden touch. Even through the white haze still filling your vision you could still see his eyes widen in pure concern.

“Wh-Johnny!” You squealed. He hoisted you up in his arms and began to run at full speed for the exit.

Men were yelling and screaming at each other while attaching explosive charges to the metal equipment in the room. You blinked, and the texture of everything in the makeshift lab seemed far too grimy. The place had been spotless a second before the machine had gone off.

“J-Johnny…” You mumbled, feeling your stomach began to twist in knots.

Something was wrong. Something you couldn’t put a finger on.

“We’re almost out, love.” He panted, still running, both of your kits clinking with each footfall. “I go’ ye. I go’ ye.”

He kicked open a door with decidedly too much ease. Judging by how many men were swarming around tactical equipment and hurriedly loading up convoys you realized this had to have been the port of operations you’d come in from.

Except…everything was completely wrong.

The tactical gear the men wore were old, several iterations old in fact. The last time you saw that shade of camo had been on your father in one of your earliest memories. Most of the tech they were packing up was also older, and completely obsolete by your standards. Hell, one of the technical pads a man was holding, you’d played with as a kid. Even the convoy trucks were dated and beat all to hell.

You began to hyperventilate. This was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be here. Where were you? It was like before but not.

“‘Ey, easy now.” Johnny breathed, placing you down next to a truck. You leaned back against it for support. You looked down at your shoes.

Nothing you wore was as it had been before. You too were decked out in old fashioned fatigues with shit versions of your nice toys stashed into the pockets of your kit. Out of desperation, you tried reaching for your dad’s pocket knife.

“Woah! Easy there, love!” Johnny huffed. He grabbed your hand out of your pocket and pushed you up onto the hood of the truck. The way he touched you felt far too intimate for your liking. You tried to fight him but he was far too strong. “Hit yer head too? Y’ feelin’ alright? Y’ know m’ no’ gonna hurt ye, love.”

The white haze was thankfully beginning to clear up.

Despite your clearing vision, everything still looked wrong. The room was darker, dingier, and all around not the way it had been before. You tried to look around Johnny to see more but he grabbed your face in one of his hands. He forced you to look up at him.

“Look a’ me.” He demanded.

You did, and you gasped.

He was Johnny, it was no doubt about it. The same breadth of his shoulders, the same freckles and lashes and jawline. But he was different. Instead of the usual, almost baby face of your colleague, this man was chiseled with more pronounced cheekbones and slightly fuller lips. An unfamiliar scar ran down the left side of his face. He still had the same haircut and facial hair, although it was better maintained, slicked down and trimmed closer to military standards. The scent of him was still peppery and warm.

This Johnny used his gloved hand to pull down your bottom eyelids to get a good look at your eyes. He must’ve seen something that worried him.

“Oh no. No no no.” He tutted, his same blue eyes slanting in that way he did when he got nervous. The only difference were the heavy bags circling his lower lashes and turning into small, very uncharacteristic wrinkles.

“Garrick!” This Johnny screamed. “Medical now!”

“Johnn-”

“Yer gonna b’ fine, love. I promise.” He huffed.

With that, he took a quick glance around. Deciding the coast was clear he leant down to peck a soft kiss to your lips. He did it so quickly you almost didn’t even recognize the gesture. He’d made sure his body covered yours so that no one saw him do it either.

“Johnny what the fuck!” You squeaked, feeling complete caught off guard.

While you’d fucked around with him before, it’d always been under the watchful supervision of your lieutenant. After all, you were Ghost's, first and foremost. It was nothing official, but Johnny new better than to cross your superior by going behind his back and kissing you.

You tried to push him away but he had no give. An intense emotion of hurt washed across his face but it was quickly replaced with complete concern.

“GARRICK!”

“Aye, sir!”

You spotted a familiar figure trot over. He was dressed from head to toe in tactical gear, but you could recognize that blue hat anywhere. You began to sob and reach for him. Thank God, it was Gaz. He could probably tell you everything that was going on.

“Gaz!” You cried out, feeling delirious. “What’s going on, mate? Where am I?”

The man stopped dead in his tracks. He pulled off his goggles to get a better look at you. Come to think of it, you’d never seen him wear those before. You blinked away the haze. He was wearing a balaclava and he wasn’t wearing kohl. The skin surrounding his eyes, not covered by fabric, was a tan shade of pink.

That wasn’t Gaz.

You screamed bloody murder.

Before Johnny could grab you, you threw your entire weight backwards. Because of your newfound agility you had no issue in falling over the hood of the truck and landing on your feet. You were still screaming, even as you began to take off in a sprint. You chose a direction and ran.

No. No. No.

This was wrong. Everything was off.

These men you knew were imposters. It was them but it wasn’t them. This was some kind of cruel mindfuck.

You were sobbing and screaming and all noise was suddenly cut out at the source. You were jerked back so roughly the air was knocked out of your lungs. You tried to gasp for air, but a broad arm had wrapped itself around your throat. You choked, your legs began to buckle. Black spots began to form in your vision.

“M’ sorry, love.” This Johnny huffed, his voice breaking with emotion. He continued to choke you out until you faded into complete unconsciousness.

“M’ so sorry.”

[dspd]

daycare au where Jon decides to become a daycare teacher because of the daycare teacher who helped him process his father's, and his mother's death in the cold care of his stern grandmother, but he's got social anxiety and a touch of the 'tism and - according to his field supervisor - doesn't know how to relate very well to other people and needs to learn how to be more polite.

Anyway, on his first day, he finds out he's not just a new employee but head teacher for the cactus room. Thankfully, he already knows two of his new co-teachers, who graduated from the same prep program a couple years ahead of him. Thankfully, Sasha and Tim were transferred from other classrooms and have a bit of experience.

The last co-teacher, though.

If it weren't for the certifications in Martin's file that he's triple checked, he'd think the guy has even less experience than him. In the first hour alone, the useless ass ruined snack time, music time, and tripped into the little fish pond at the edge of the playground.

So ensues Jon practicing communication techniques with tiny humans, dealing with snotty crying toddlers, figuring out how to make shift schedules, and learning that parents are fifty times worse than the kids...

...and somehow falling in love with one Martin K. Blackwood who's neverending positivity, bottomless spill-proof tea mug, and morning person energy both annoy and impress him.

...

....

...

And maybe everyone else in the classroom ships it so Tim and Sasha conspire with 4 year old Amy Patel when she was in her "everyone needs to get married and have babies" phase while her mommy was pregnant with her little brother, ending up with everyone agreeing that the kids need to practice throwing the rice and Tim and Sasha are the only ones tall enough to hold the handmade flower arch up so Jon and Martin have to be the ones to get married which ends with Martin turning a frankly embarrassing shade of magenta pink and while Jon determinedly stares at the bridge of Martin's nose to please the kids who have worked their way into his heart while trying to pretend he didn't have a scarily similar dream a couple months ago.

[abisbookcase]

100+ songs that remind me of buddie: the ship between evan "buck" buckley + eddie diaz from 9-1-1 (tv show)

photograph - ed sheeran

sucker - jonas brothers

fix you - coldplay

clarity - zedd & foxes

everybody talks - neon trees

earned it (fifty shades of grey) - the weeknd

cardigan - taylor swift

august - taylor swift

the 30th - billie eilish

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex

sweet - cigarettes after sex

K. - cigarettes after sex

love of my life - harry styles

i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys

the way i loved you (taylor's version) - taylor swift

everything has changed (taylor's version) - taylor swift & ed sheeran

fine line - harry styles

watching him fade away - mac demarco

jealousy, jealousy - olivia rodrigo

apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

sofia - clairo

we fell in love in october - girl in red

ribs - lorde

i love you so - the walters

until i found you - stephen sanchez & em beihold

golden hour - JVKE

crush - cigarettes after sex

karma - taylor swift

bags - clairo

getaway car - taylor swift

don't blame me - taylor swift

issues - julia micheals

heavenly - cigarettes after sex

memories - conan gray

lay all your love on me - ABBA

head over heels - ABBA

ceilings - lizzy mcalpine

all i wanted - paramore

i love you - billie eilish

heather - conan gray

what a time - julia micheals & niall horan

make up your mind - florence + the machine

look after you - the fray

sparks - coldplay

king of my heart - taylor swift

false god - taylor swift

rumour has it - adele

the great war - taylor swift

maroon - taylor swift

gorgeous - taylor swift

lovers rock - TV girl

why'd you only call me when you're high? - arctic monkeys

beautiful boy (darling boy) remastered 2010 - john lennon

daylight - david kushner

halley's comet - billie eilish

can't feel my face - the weeknd

shameless - camila cabello

ME! - taylor swift & brendon urie of panic! at the disco

all too well (10 minute version - taylor's version) - taylor swift

this love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

enchanted (taylor's version) - taylor swift

midnight rain - taylor swift

the 1 - taylor swift

kiss me - ed sheeran

mine (taylor's version) - taylor swift

lavender haze - taylor swift

hits different - taylor swift

afterglow - taylor swift

lover - taylor swift

red (taylor's version) - taylor swift

i don't wanna live forever (fifty shades darker) - ZAYN & taylor swift

style (taylor's version) - taylor swift

"slut!" (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

daylight - taylor swift

wildest dreams (taylor's version) - taylor swift

how you get the girl (taylor's version) - taylor swift

you are in love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

golden - harry styles

say yes to heaven - lana del rey

lover (remix) - taylor swift & shawn mendes

training wheels - melanie martinez

scott screet - phoebe bridgers

glue song - beabadoobee

kiss me - sixpence none the richer

something just like this - the chainsmokers & coldplay

still into you - paramore

those eyes - new west

can't take my eyes off you - boys town gang

angeleyes - ABBA

because i liked a boy - sabrina carpenter

sleep it off - niki & gabi

never felt so alone - labrinth

chemtrails over the country club - lana del rey

only love can hurt like this - paloma faith

my love mine all mine - mitski

moment in the sun - sunflower bean

you're losing me (from the vault) - taylor swift

paris - taylor swift

the lucky one (taylor's version) - taylor swift

snap out of it - arctic monkeys

labyrinth - taylor swift

starlight (taylor's version) - taylor swift

company - justin bieber

never really over - katy perry

i lived - onerepublic

the night we met - lord huron

heart to heart - mac demarco

rises the moon - liana flores

about you - the 1975

fight or flight - conan gray

deja vu - olivia rodrigo

you found me - the fray

paris - the chainsmokers

murder on the dancefloor - sophie ellis-bextor

want to want me - jason derulo

hands to myself - selena gomez

late night talking - harry styles

astronomy - conan gray

the only exception - paramore

can't help falling in love - elvis presley

the boy is mine - brandy & monica

last dance - scratch massive & maud geffray

ur so pretty - wasia project

34+35 - ariana grande

good days - SZA

falling in love - cigarettes after sex

keep on loving you - cigarettes after sex

marry you - bruno mars

walk me home - p!nk

people help the people - birdy

now that we don't talk (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

suburban legends (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

open arms - SZA & travis scott

movies - conan gray

let the light in - lana del rey & father john misty

margaret - lana del rey & bleachers

need you now - lady A

i miss you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams

sex on fire - kings of leon

end of beginning - djo

21 - gracie abrams

only you - cheat codes & little mix

mr. loverman - ricky montgomery

lust for life - lana del rey & the weeknd

saturn - SZA

lover (live from paris) - taylor swift

dress - taylor swift

waiting room - phoebe bridgers

kiss you - one direction

someone to you - BANNERS

little freak - harry styles

i hear a symphony - cody fry

do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys

till forever falls apart - ashe & FINNEAS

1 step forward, 3 steps back - olivia rodrigo

like real people do - hozier

out of my league - fitz and the tantrums

somewhere only we know - keane

when we were young - adele

maps - maroon 5

young and beautiful - lana del rey

touch tank - quinnie

i found - amber run

invisible string - taylor swift

epiphany - taylor swift

daylight - taylor swift

ivy - taylor swift

sign of the times - harry styles

adore you - harry styles

sunflower, vol.6 - harry styles

let me love you (until you learn to love yourself) - glee cast (version)

somewhere only we know - glee cast (version)

yellow - coldplay

pretty boy - the neighbourhood

the beach - the neighbourhood

whatta man - salt n pepa & en vogue

endgame - taylor swift, ed sheeran & future

delicate - taylor swift

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored - ariana grande

forever winter (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

wish you were gay - billie eilish

ivy - frank ocean

i like me better - lauv

toothbrush - DNCE

best friend - rex orange county

no control - one direction

here is the link to the playlist on spofity: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mpIWOTplXGR7vR4gT34Yi

if you have any other recommendations for songs please let me know and they will go straight into the playlist. also, please don't be disrespectful and this is a reminder that these are my opinions, i hope that you enjoy the playlist!! 💌🤍💋

[crippleprophet]

Hey Mac! Do you have any crip books or resource recs for crip sex/sexuality?

Feel free to delete if you're uncomfortable answering :]

do i ever! i actually did an essay for my master’s in disability studies on the topic of disabled people’s access to sex so a lot of these are sources from that (feel free to dm me for my paper!) & others are things i’ve collected for leisure (hah)

i’m bolding my favorites and italicizing ones i haven’t read but have been recommended / have on my list; as with everything, having read a piece + recommending it is not an uncritical endorsement, & i have various contentions with all of these pieces ranging from minor nitpicking to outright disagreement.

feel free to send an ask or dm if you want my thoughts on a particular work or need help obtaining a pdf!

books

Sex and Disability ed. Robert McRuer & Anna Mollow

The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells and Dominic Davies

Unbreaking Our Hearts: Cultures of Un/Desirability and the Transformative Potential of Queercrip Porn by Loree Erickson. York University, dissertation submitted 2015.

McRuer, R. 2006. Crip theory: Cultural signs of queerness and disability. New York: New York University Press.

Kinked and Crippled: Disabled BDSM Practitioners’ Experiences and Embodiments of Pain. Emma Sheppard. Edge Hill University, dissertation submitted 2017.

Love, Sex, and Disability: The Pleasures of Care by Sarah Smith Rainey

intellectually disabled people / people with learning difficulties’ right to sex

Hamilton, C. A. 2009. ‘Now I’d like to sleep with Rachael’ – researching sexuality support in a service agency group home. Disability & Society. 24(3), pp.303-315.

Hollomotz, A. 2008. ‘May we please have sex tonight?’ – people with learning difficulties pursuing privacy in residential group settings. British Journal of Learning Disabilities. 37, pp.91–97.

Vehmas, S. 2019. Persons with profound intellectual disability and their right to sex. Disability & Society. 34(4), pp.519-539.

Significance of the attitudes of police and care staff toward sex and people who have a learning disability by A. Bailey & D. Sines. Journal of Learning Disabilities for Nursing Health and Social Care (1998), 2(3), pp.168-174.

sexual facilitation & making sex accessible

Bahner, J. 2016. Risky business? Organizing sexual facilitation in Swedish personal assistance services. Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research. 18(2), pp.164-175.

Linda R. Mona (2003) Sexual Options for People with Disabilities, Women & Therapy, 26:3-4, pp.211-221.

No Pity Fucks Please: A critique of Scarlet Road’s campaign to improve disabled people’s access to paid sex services by Tova Rozengarten and Heather Brook. Outskirts vol. 34, 2016, pp.1-21.

Julia Bahner (2013) The power of discretion and the discretion of power: personal assistants and sexual facilitation in disability services, Vulnerable Groups & Inclusion, 4:1, 20673.

BDSM, paraphilias, & alternative sex

Goldberg, C. E. 2018. Fucking with Notions of Disability (In)Justice: Exploring BDSM, Sexuality, Consent, and Canadian Law

Hollomotz, A. 2013. Exploiting the Fifty Shades of Grey craze for the disability and sexual rights agenda. Disability & Society. 28(3), pp.418-422.

Reynolds, D. 2007. Disability and BDSM: Bob Flanagan and the case for sexual rights. Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 4(1), pp.40-52.

Tellier, S. 2017. Advancing the discourse: Disability and BDSM. Sex & Disability. 35, pp.485-493.

Sheppard, E. 2018. Using pain, living with pain. Feminist Review. 120, pp.54-69.

Tyburczy, J. 2014. Leather anatomy: Cripping homonormativity at International Mr. Leather. Journal of Literary & Cultural Disability Studies. 8(3), pp.275-293.

Sheppard, E 2019, 'Chronic Pain as Fluid, BDSM as Control' Disability Studies Quarterly, vol. 39, no. 2.

other articles

Finger, A. 1992. Forbidden Fruit

Fritsch, K., Heynen, R., Ross, A. N., and van der Meulen, E. 2016. Disability and sex work: developing affinities through decriminalization. Disability & Society. 31(1), pp.84-99.

McKenzie, J. 2012. Disabled people in rural South Africa talk about sexuality. Culture Health & Sexuality. pp.1-15.

Shakespeare, T. 2000. Disabled sexuality: Toward rights and recognition. Sexuality and Disability. 18(3), pp.159-166.

Shildrick, M. 2007. Contested pleasures: The sociopolitical economy of disability and sexuality. Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 4(1), pp.53-66.

Wentzell, E. 2006. Bad bedfellows: Disability sex rights and Viagra. Bulletin of Science, Technology & Society. 26(5), pp.370-377.

“‘Like, pissing yourself is not a particularly attractive quality, let’s be honest’: Learning to contain through youth, adulthood, disability and sexuality” by Kirsty Liddiard and Jenny Slater. Sexualities 2018, Vol. 21(3), pp.319–333.

non-academic texts

Andrew Gurza’s blog - andrewgurza dot com / blog

Disability After Dark podcast

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability by A. Andrews

Cripping Up Sex with Eva

my cripsex tag, which i’ll add to this post, has other relevant content, & i welcome any additions from folks! all the best to you 💓

[saltyyuuri]

🖋️Writers Block 🖋️

Iso x fem! Reader

Part 1

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7

Words; 6400

Warnings; mentions of NSFW and vulgar language . This will be copy pasted on every chapter.

Authors note: ... I know I just said I have no mental capacity to write. And that I had a writer's block. Well guess what- my God damn idea is really a goddamn writer's block. Enjoy 😭. ALSO I HAD TO BALL PARK AGE TIME LINE SO PLS GO WITH IT TY ILY

ps2- this fic is roughly 32k words total- i think i have a problem. I wrote this is 2 days. k bai-

🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️

"Okay everyone; this is my niece (Y/n), she's going to be staying with us for some time." Brimstone announced a bit absently, his mind was on something else completely. He had some paperwork to finish up but he still wanted to take a small moment to introduce you to the agents. "She's not a radiant or an agent, so don't mess around her too much. She just needs inspiration." Brimstone said before heading off- of course his lack of details on your mysterious arrival was going to leave everyone puzzled-and also going to leave you to explain it all.

It's not like you really have the time anyways to tell him he could have been a bit more precise- he was already gone the moment you were going to open your mouth. Your gaze turned to look over the group of young adults in front of you-all agents looking very confused your way. The barrage of questions didn't take much time before happening.

"Wait Brimstone has a niece?" "Inspiration? For what?" "Why is your face mildly familiar-?" "How long are you going to stay?" All the questions were coming in faster than gunfire-making you a bit dizzy on the spot. You were trying to keep track of all the questions and trying to see which one would be best to answer first- and you didn't even get a second to introduce yourself before a blue and yellow haired girl, who looked way too hyper, yelled out.

"OH GOD WAIT I KNOW WHO SHE IS-!!!" The woman yelled out pretty loudly. The other agents effectively shut up with their questions but also flinched at the sheer volume of her voice. "Neon, jeez, tone it down a bit-" A white haired girl said, a small grimace on her face as she spoke. Neon, the bi colored hair woman, smiled sheepishly before sprinting towards you.

You jumped a bit; not expecting the speed at which she was coming. You were still pretty new to all the radiants - so seeing powers in action was still strange to you. "Your the author of the book series 'That night in Tokyo ', right??" She asked excitedly, just wanted to confirm for suspicions. "Yeah, that's me-" you said a bit sheepishly-definitely not expecting someone to even recognize you to begin with.

The women in the room all collectively had a moment of realization- a look of complicity seeming to take over. And of course; the guys just look confused. "Oh damn- Brimstone's niece is the one who wrote that?" Jett said with an impressed look-but also a slightly mischievous one.

"If I'm being honest with you-I don't think he ever read one of my books." You giggle out - you caught on to that look of complicity that was starting to form, knowing damn well what was going to go on. "I don't think he would have said it so casually that you were here for inspiration if he did-" A woman with a Spanish accent and half pink hair spoke up, a smirk on her face.

And she wasn't wrong; it was obvious that Brimstone had never opened one of your books or at least read one entirely- because if there's one thing to know about the stuff you write, is that no matter if it's a one shot book or a series; there will always be erotic scenes. You weren't ashamed of it- actually that's how you got your fan base. There was always something steamy going on; but not constantly throughout the story- you didn't want it to look like Fifty shades of Gray either.

It was just mixing your creativity for writing stories no matter if it was fantastical, romantic, a police like series or even a horror book- you would find a way. And anyone who read your books knew it was going to happen - at this point it was almost your trademark.

Of course, the men in the room just looked very confused- no one knew who you were. It was a funny scene; looks of confusion all over every guy's face- and looks of complicity on every woman's face.

"So ... Wait, you're here for inspiration?" Neon said- her face shifting slightly to a slightly smug look. "Yeah; I got a bit of a writer's block recently. I just figured that if I went in a new environments, I'd get a few ideas. My uncle Liam- er- Brimstone - said I could stay over for some time." You briefly explain, chuckling slightly.

"Oh boy- you know, now I am curious to know how this goes." The Latina spoke up once again, a smirk on her face. Pretty much every woman in the room nodded their heads, once again that look of complicity going around. That was until one of the guys decided to speak up- a man with caramel colored hair wearing a suit and glasses.

"Well, chérie, if it's inspiration you're looking for, look no further~" He said smugly, smirking as he spoke. There was a short silence in the room before pretty much every woman started laughing, you included. The man looked confused, wondering what had everyone laughing so much, maybe a missed joke he didn't catch on to? "What's so funny-?" He asked, trying to read the room and understand what's going on.

The white haired woman, still snickering, spoke up to answer. "Well- you're... You're probably not quite the type of inspiration she's looking for, quite frankly." She snickered out, grinning widely. "Well, unless she writes something corny- never know!" Neon said, laughing a bit harder. You giggled along, shaking your head. "Oh god no- I learned my lesson pretty fast not to write corny stuff. The Press didn't like it-" you said with a giggle, remembering what had happened last time you decided to write something a bit corny. Your fans definitely made their voices heard not to do that again-

🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️

You got set up in your dorm pretty rapidly, it was a small cozy thing; and your uncle had been nice enough to get you a good desk setup so you'd be comfortable when writing. You had asked him for a double monitor setup and specifically an adjustable desk- plenty of little details you want too sure if he would be okay with, knowing that you were probably demanding a bit too much.

But you were pleasantly surprised to see that everything you asked for was done. You made sure to thank him properly, promising to take him out for dinner, all expenses paid by you as a thank you.

You quickly set up your laptop, already trying to get comfortable and ready to start typing- but once again the writers block persisted. You had no idea what even to start with, not even a brief idea for a story. You had an Excel spreadsheet open, that's usually how you kept track of your story, the timelines, any advancements on certain chapters, the amounts of words written already etc.

It felt odd to not have anything come to mind, you just needed an idea- you could go so far off of a small idea. But nothing.

You had already been introduced to pretty much everyone, a few exceptions considering that some agents were out on missions right now. But it was definitely nice to meet most of the women agents, knowing that most of them recognized you the moment someone mentioned one of your books. It also seemed to become a slight game in headquarters- where the title of some of your books gets mentioned but no one mentions what's it about. The guys just look very confused while the women understood it.

You decided to head to bed for the time being, hoping sleep would help you come up with an idea or two. You have been to bed and snuggled in the comfortable bed sheets- falling asleep surprisingly quickly the moment your head hit the pillow.

The next day you woke up at the crack of dawn- deciding to go and walk around headquarters and get a bit more familiar with the place. You were given a brief tour, but nothing too in depth. So, you took it upon yourself to explore bit, deciding to bring along one of your notebooks and a pen, just in case an idea came through.

So there you were, walking around in jogging pants, a sports bra, hair up in a clip and wearing glasses, walking around protocol with a hardcover pink strawberry printed notebook and a pen clipped onto your sports bra. You were walking down Halls at random, just looking around with curiosity.

That was until you reached the practice range. Curiosity got the better of you and you pushed open the doors, peeking inside the part of the building. At first you saw nothing- and decided to just walk in. You looked around the multiple training rooms, one being set up like a gym, a few others looking like target practice for shooting ranges- and a few that looked empty but had some fancy consoles in front of them.

You never been in a place like this, so you naturally looked around quite a bit, curiosity getting the better of you once Again. You we're in the far back of the training facility when someone else came in, not hearing the door open or close while you were looking at some scrapped robots.

What did however make you flinch was someone speaking up behind you- you hadn't heard them approach either, so it caught you by surprise. You let out a small yelp, turning around almost instantly as they were speaking. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" Is what the man behind you said- a tall Asian man with jet black hair and lilac eyes spoke.

You took a short moment before speaking - not only needing a second to get over getting scared shitless all of a sudden, but also to get over his looks. He was definitely handsome - but you had to remind yourself you weren't here for sightseeing. "Oh- uh- sorry- we haven't been introduced yet- I'm (Y/n)" you spoke clumsily, looking for your words every few seconds.

Sure, you could blame it on the fact that I was early morning and you weren't too used to waking up this early- but that would be a bold-faced lie. The man looked at you curiously - but his face stayed neutral. "I see. I'm Iso." He replied pretty simply, his hands being shoved inside his hoodie pockets.

"So, are you like .... A new agent here?" He asked you as he tried to keep a conversation, and you were realizing since you haven't been introduced he doesn't quite know you yet. You felt a bit stupid for not being a little more precise on your introduction, letting out a small sheepish laugh.

"Oh! No- sorry, I'm still waking up so I'm a bit slow haha... But no I'm not an agent, I'm Liam- I mean- Brimstone's niece, I'm only here for a temporary stay." You briefly explained, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly. "I'm a writer and I'm having a bit of a writer's block at the moment. I figured if I changed environments I might get an idea."

"No worries." Iso hummed out, nodding a bit as you spoke. "So an author looking for inspiration... In a base full of radiants that are constantly dealing with attacks and protecting this world's fate? That's... A choice." He said, slight amusement in his tone as he spoke, small smirk starting to form.

"Look, I already did quite a lot of different genres, I just needed something new. I really can't come up with an idea these past months, so... Doesn't hurt to try." You hummed out, smiling as you spoke, shrugging slightly. Iso nodded, once more letting out a small hum. Silence settled, and then he seemed to decide to move along with his day.

He simply sidestepped you, heading to one of the training rooms that looked empty but had that fancy console in the front. He tapped a few times on the console before walking in, taking a small gun out from its holster under his hoodie. It seemed to be a custom-made, it was purple, red and black, the purple parts almost looking like they were glowing.

You decided to walk over to the glass, wanting to see what goes on in there, once more curiosity getting the best of you. The was was that suddenly appeared, making you flinch at the loud noise. Then, robots of various sizes that also seem to have guns we're starting to rush through the maze of metal walls, Iso seeming to keep a rather unfazed look on his face.

He moved swiftly, avoiding most of the robots, holding his pistol at the ready. Whenever he got a clear shot he took it without hesitation- and you watched as one by one the robots dropped to the ground. He seemed to do some fancy thing with his hand before a purple shattered light left his hand and touched a few robots. He swung the corner, shooting rapidly and watching us these robots dropped with only a bullet.

You were in awe, you had never seen radiant powers in action before- you were leaning forward and looking for the bulletproof glass with a lot more interest now. What seemed like a habit for him was all new to you, and it had you captivated. You probably watched him train for 15 minutes, both impressed by his powers and impressed by his aim.

That was until a few more people entered the practice range building, most that you recognize. They thought it was a bit funny to see you so awestruck by simple radiant abilities - but not holding it against you considering you never were exposed to this type of world before. A few agents taunted you to come and watch them, and you couldn't resist. Seeing so much powers all at once was an experience - as all the things you saw in this training range were only things you thought happened in cinema.

It amused the agents, but they could also understand your reality that to you- a regular citizen- this type of thing wasn't a regular occurrence. Even the non radiant agents, just seeing what they could do and the technologies they had, once again that was only things you assumed would happen in cinema. You ended up spending the day in the practice range just observing everyone, looking like a child with stars in their eyes.

When most of the agents were pretty much done with their trainings, some would come by and tease you a bit once again- notably Harbor, the agent who seem to have control over water. He had decided to splash you slightly, sending a spritz of water on to you. You ended up tossing your notebook so it wouldn't get wet- and he kind of realized his error afterwards.

Jett was the first to swoop in as Harbor apologized- grabbing your notebook for you and giving him a smack behind the head while shooing him off. "What a dick- I swear he does that as a joke every damn time." Jet said, shaking her head as she raised her hand, creating a small gust of wind, nothing too strong- just strong enough to help you dry off of it. Even though you weren't too happy about getting wet-the situation just felt out of ordinary if not out of this world, so you weren't mad either.

"If I was an agent I probably would have been pissed- but everything about this is just so. .. wow." You said, looking once more in awe at the powers on display. Jett chuckled, smiling widely. "Understandable - you're pretty new to all of this. Trust me- what you see here is nothing. If you would see this shit we do on the field- it's so much cooler." She said a bit smugly. "Buuut... You can't really come on the field anyways. You'd probably be shot dead within seconds-" she giggled out softly, lowering her hand to cut off the gust of wind she was blowing your way.

You were practically almost dry already, taking back your notebook from her and tucking it back between your arm and hip. "Yeah, most likely. I never touched a firearm in my life-hell I don't even think I could defend myself even with a knife." You hummed out softly, smiling as you spoke.

"You never shot a gun?" Jett repeated, looking surprised. "You literally wrote scenes with so much precise descriptions on shooting a gun- ... Wait, were you never curious to even try?" She continued, her head tilting a bit to the side. "The joys of internet, you can find people giving the most accurate descriptions so that you don't have to figure it out yourself." You giggled out softly.

"Makes sense." Jett responded, a look of understanding on her face while she shrugged. "Well- do you want to try? You are in one of the best places to try it out if you do want to-" she said with a growing smirk. "I don't know if my uncle would be okay with that-" you started off; soon to be interrupted by the man in question.

Brimstone had just walked into the practice range himself, and the moment he overheard the word 'uncle', almost as if it was a spider sense, he was making his way over. "What would your uncle not be okay with?" He asked sternly as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking over you and Jett with a stern expression.

"Can (Y/n) try shooting a gun?" Jett asked, seeming completely unfazed by the stern look he had. Your eyes widened a bit- you didn't necessarily ask to try either, and you didn't want to get in trouble for being insinuated that you were. Before you could even argument back, Brimstone let out a small laugh. "Sure, but not with you, Jett. We all know you give little to no explanation on gun security when you're in charge."

You didn't expect him to say yes this easily- though Jett was pouting for being a bit called out. "I can make an effort-?" She tried once again, though her attempt was a bit sheepish. "Nope, last time you said that, Phoenix nearly shot himself in the head because you didn't tell him how to put the security on the gun." Brimstone said, shaking his head once again. You shuddered a bit at the thought-a bit shocked at how casual he was when talking about it.

"It was one time-... You okay there?" Jett cut herself off from her weak argument, seeing that you looked a bit pale. "... How are you guys so casual when talking about someone who nearly shot themselves-" you uttered out, baffled as you spoke. The two of them looked at each other, a short moment of realization once again hitting them- of course the type of conversation looked insane to you, once again you weren't from the same world that they were living in- your own reality just consisting of living normally.

"Oh, sweetheart - it's a normal occurrence here-" Brimstone started off a bit roughly. "But- don't worry too much. We have healers, and one of them can resurrect the dead. It's fine." Brimstone said casually, waving his hand around a bit. "Say fucking what now-" you instantly retorted back- once again looking absolutely baffled at the news.

It was at this moment that the two realized that you would need a lot of getting used to when staying here- Brimstone and Jett sharing a look for a short moment. "Anyways... Let's get back to the radiant powers later-" Jett said, trying to change the subject back to the previous one. "So- shooting guns? Whatcha say, (Y/n)?" Jett asked again, making finger guns your way as she tried to get your mind off the radiant powers for a moment.

"Uh... Sure- yeah.." you replied in a slightly baffled voice, only halfway paying attention to what she said. Brimstone chuckled, then quickly checked around to see who was still around the practice range, seeing if somebody who he trusted was going to be capable enough to explain how a gun worked was still around.

He spotted Iso, who was still in the simulation room doing his training. Even though he was a bit unimpressed by the fact that Iso had been training relentlessly all day once more- he was some with glad that he was still here. Brimstone made his way to the simulation room, pressing the button to stop it. Of course, Iso instantly looked up confused, wondering who cut off his training and why.

Iso made his way out of the room, opening the door slightly, peeking his head out. He was pretty sweaty from the relentless training- but that was just the type of thing he did quite often. "Is there something wrong?" Iso asked Brimstone, catching his breath as he spoke. "Other than you still not learning to take a damn break- no. Just wanted to know if you'd show (Y/n) how to shoot a gun."

Iso paused for a short moment, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with his sleeve. "Yeah, I can show her. But I thought she wasn't an agent?" He said- putting away his Sheriff into the gun holster around his waist. "She isn't, she just never shot a gun in her life. Its more out of curiosity than actual training. I just don't trust Jett to show her- and I'd rather not have my niece traumatized on day one." Brimstone Snickered out, a grin forming on his face.

"Makes sense." Iso hummed, finally walking out of the simulation room. He grabbed onto the water bottle he left just outside the door, taking a few large sips. "Great, thanks. Just- do us all a favor and don't talk about radiant powers yet. She's still trying to understand that Sage can resurrect people, and she's just looking at Jett like she's crazy." Brimstone said with a snicker once again, but this time he walked off to his own training room.

Iso nodded, looking up at confused but not questioning further. He took another short moment to catch his breath before making his way towards you and Jett. Jett was talking pretty animatedly beside you while you still look a bit pale, but nodded along to what she was saying. Iso cleared his throat, catching both of your attentions.

"Ah damn it, of course you're the favorite child. Fine - I see how it is- the pretty boy gets the rights to teaching." Jett mocked him lightly, all in good fun of course. Iso rolled his eyes at her, but a small smile tugged at his lips. "I was the only one still available, mind you." He said, his tone casual. Jett snickered out Softly, then gave you a pat on the shoulder to encourage you.

"You'll be in good hands- Iso is one of our best shots on the team! But to be fair he was an ex assassin - so he had to be a good shot whether he liked it or not-" Jett casually dropped once again, as if this was just regular common knowledge to have. You choked on air- "fucking what-" you mumbled out through your coughing, Jett once again realizing that maybe she spoke a bit too fast.

Iso facepalmed, giving Jett a half glare before waving her off, wanting her out of his hair before she started saying more stuff that would catch you off guard. You looked back up at him, this time with a slight unease. It wasn't personal- but considering you were still new to everything, to their reality where this type of thing was just normal- it made you just slightly uncomfortable.

And Iso took notice pretty fast. "I-... Look, it was an old job-" he started off up at awkwardly, but then realizing trying to explain it was pretty futile. He let out a sigh- she would just have to wait for you to get used to this a bit more, whether he likes it or not. "Just... Just follow me." He mumbled out, starting to walk towards one of the target practice ranges.

You reluctantly followed- stunned into silence. You were realizing just how much seem to be going on in their reality- just how different your lives were. You were definitely going to need a minute after all of this to collect your thoughts- but for now you just followed along. He stopped at a certain range that seemed free- opening a heavy metal cupboard that was at the entrance.

There was multiple different types of guns hanging inside the cupboard, ranging from pistols all the way to heavy snipers and machine guns. You've never seen this many guns all at once, even less had the choice to even touch one. You didn't know if he was trying to offer you quietly a choice or if he was going to pick one for you.

Iso took the hint- deciding to just start off with a pistol. He figured it would be best just to give you something small to begin with. He handed you a ghost, one of the smaller pistols that was easier to control and didn't have any knockback. "Here, we'll start small." He said, handing you the gun. He showed you the proper way to hold it and to make sure the security was on- then invited you to go inside the practice range. He walked in behind you, shutting the bulletproof door.

"Alright, since this is your first time shooting, I'm just going to show you how to properly hold and aim the gun." He briefly explained, walking up beside you. He was nearly in front of you, just correcting your posture quietly, readjusting your grip on the gun and how your arms were up, using one of his feet to gently kick yours to spread your legs up a bit more. Then he finished off by adjusting your shoulders a bit- taking a step back to make sure he didn't miss anything.

"... Looks good to me. Take the security off when you're ready and fire away." He said, stepping back to be behind you this time. You nodded, pressing on the side button that deactivated the security on the gun. When you heard the click-you know the moment you pulled the trigger a bullet would actually fly through. You had a sudden Rush of an adrenaline, not sure if you should actually pull the trigger or not.

Your hands were a bit sweaty and you tried not to get shaky- then let some excitement through and pull the trigger. Since the ghost had a silencer on it, it didn't resonate as loudly as you expected- but you still flinched. The gun still had a small knockback in your hands that you didn't quite expect, taking a moment to get over the small adrenaline rush. You fumbled a bit, since your hands were a bit sweaty the gun had slipped when you flinched, and you were trying to hold it back up properly.

Iso came up to you once again, this time staying behind you since the security was off. He simply wrapped his arms around you to fix your posture once again- making you tense up slightly. He didn't say a word as he did so, only taking a step back once you were back in the correct position. "There you go." He hummed out, going back to lean against the wall behind him.

You took a few more shots with the gun, the first few just aiming wherever as you got used to the weapon, then you actually tried aiming at the targets- but of course not being that good at it. You ended up emptying a whole mag, only realizing once you pulled the trigger again and there was just a simple click. You lowered the gun, still feeling some adrenaline from it, you instinctively put the security back on even if the mags are empty.

"Good reflex." Iso noted, his head nodding towards the gun. He didn't even need to tell you to keep the gun pointed to the ground if you weren't aiming it or to put the security back on once you were done- a smile on his face as he was proud you just did it without asking. "Thanks- I mean I read a lot about shooting again before- so I already had a brief idea of gun security-" you rambled on a bit, forcing yourself to bite your tongue at some point to not look like an idiot.

"... That's definitely an interesting thing to read about-" Iso said amusedly as he took the gun back, a small smile still on his face. You realize that just dropping that information casually probably sounded a bit weird- immediately trying to backtrack. "I wrote scenes where there was usage of guns- I just wanted to write something exact without looking like an idiot-" you muttered out - once again biting your tongue. But this time not because you didn't want to ramble on about gun security-more like you didn't want to ramble on about the other stuff you wrote.

Because you may or may not have taken extra time to read about gun security for... Other reasons than shooting. But you were definitely not going to rat yourself out like that. Iso didn't seem to question it further, just looking amused. He brought the ghost back to the cupboard, looking like he was taking a moment to ponder before pulling out a different gun. This time it was a bit bigger-walking back in the room with it.

"This is a specter, its an SMG with low penetration, it also has a silencer and-" He started to say, then taking a short moment to pause. He realized that getting too technical with guns would probably serve no purpose, considering you weren't actually training. He instead decided to be more vague. "It's an automatic gun, it shoots fast. It does not that much knockback, but you're still going to want to hold it tightly against your shoulder."

You nodded, and he once again place the gun properly in your hands. He took the time to correct how you held it to make sure that you wouldn't have any issues- pressing it comfortably on your shoulder and once again just kicking your feet slightly to be positioned correctly. "... There. Now remember, hold the gun firmly on your shoulder. If it's not firm enough, the knock back is just going to hurt." He said, once again stepping back to lean on the wall behind you.

You were nervous once again, not that you had a bit of a bigger gun in your hands, you weren't too sure how to feel about it. But once again curiosity got the better of you, taking off the security and deciding to pull the trigger. You weren't expecting much- and the gun immediately went upward with the few bullets you shot. "Woah-" you let out surprised, taking your finger off the trigger instantly to reposition.

"Automatic guns do tend to do that, just try to expect it- and shoot a few bullets at a time, not all at once." He instructed behind you-arms crossed in front of his chest as he patiently explained it to you. You were thankful that he was being so patient-taking one step at a time. You nod and try again, trying to take his advice. It was easier said than done- you had no experience controlling this type of gun, and no matter how hard you try, you ended up emptying the mag while shooting generally above the targets the whole time.

Once more, you put the security on the gun while pointing it out the floor when you were done, handing it back. "Yikes- gun shooting definitely isn't for me. I'll stick to typing-" you said a bit sheepishly, hands still sweaty from the adrenaline of getting to shoot a weapon. Iso chuckled out softly, taking back the gun as he led you out of the target room.

He went to put it back away, securing it in the cupboard before shutting it, putting the lock back on. "Understandable. Don't worry about it too much, you're just trying it out anyways." Iso chuckled out softly, turning back to look at you. You were picking up your notebook, tucking it back in its spot between your hip and arm.

"When did you start using firearms?" You ended up asking curiously, looking back up at him. He paused for a brief moment, looking like he was thinking about it. "Hmm... Like since I was... 16?" He said, not sounding fully sure with his answer, looking like he was trying to recall exactly.

You try not to choke once again- surprised to know that he was handling firearms before being an adult. "Oh-... And how old are you now-?" You asked again, trying to give yourself a brief idea of his experience. "I'm 24." He replied, this time confidently. You we're trying to give yourself a brief idea of his life- considering the tidbit of information that was given to you earlier.

You got a bit lost in thought, and Iso quietly observed you for a few moments. He could see the gears turning in your head, at first just letting you trying to figure it out on your own, then deciding to speak up. "You can just ask, you know. I don't have much to hide." He said, a small smirk on his face as he spoke nonchalantly.

You flinched slightly in Surprise, your free arm going up to your neck to rub it sheepishly. "Oh- uh- ... Well then- ... How long were you a... Well- hitman?" You asked awkwardly, once more trying to not sound too weird when talking about it. This was all still new to you and you were trying to wrap your head around it without sounding disrespectful in any way.

" About 5 years. Started at 17, finished at 23." He said, nodding along as he spoke. You gave a slow nod, almost as if realization of his reality was slowly sinking in. 5 years where his job was to ruthlessly kill people? And yet he looked so nice- it just didn't want to register in your head. You once again quieted down- this time not staring his way to not look like you were oogling over him uncomfortably.

Iso once more broke the silence. "You know that pretty much everyone here has killed for a living before- or has to kill for a living now? Like the whole point of valorant protocol is to constantly fight-which inevitably means killing people." He said, cocking an eyebrow as he spoke in amusement, watching as you had a moment of realization.

You gave another slow nod, observing the information as you could. "Yeah... I'm realizing that now." You mumbled out with another slow nod. He chuckled out softly, amused to see you in this state. "Well, if you're going to be staying for a while, may as well get used to it." He said, smirking as he spoke.

"Well... On the bright side- can't have a better place to ask about realistic ways to write certain deaths-" You said, trying to lighten your mood by joking around a bit- letting out a small laugh as you spoke. Iso chuckled along, nodding with his smirk. "True. If you need ideas, you can ask. Or ask anyone- you'd be surprised the amount of people who've been assassins here." He said nonchalantly, shrugging. You simply nodded, trying to brush off the fact that there was more than just one Hitman in the group.

"What do you usually write about anyways? Would it be like police novels?" Iso asked, taking a small guess on what you could be writing-considering you talked about ways to kill people and gun security, he assumed you wrote police novels. Or at least, something in the lines of that considering it was what made more sense.

You didn't want to rat yourself out of course- and since you did technically write police novels (of course with your well know erotic twist in the novels), you just nodded. "Yeah, I wrote some police novels... I do a couple of different genres." You said, staying vague. Thankfully you didn't need to find a lame excuse to escape this conversation- your stomach loudly growled just after you spoke, reminding you you haven't eaten anything today.

"fuck- I'm sorry, I think I'll just head out to eat. I just realized I've been here all day- it's just now hitting me." You said, one of your hands instinctively going to your stomach as you could already feel a small cramp starting to form. Iso nodded in understanding, giving you a small wave. "No worries, go eat." He simply said, watching as you bid goodbye and left.

🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️

Back in your dorm, you ate something small and light, not much in the mood to have a heavy meal considering you didn't have anything else to eat all day. You ate a chicken salad, sitting on your bed with your open notebook, taking small notes. You didn't have an exact idea yet, but still, you thought it was interesting the things you heard about today, and you were noting it all down in hopes that maybe it could be used in your new book.

You continue taking notes until pretty late at night, just letting your mind go Haywire on the paper as you wrote-both taking note of all the things that Iso had said, keeping things in a reference from when you shot the guns, even noting some of the powers that you've got to witness by just observing the agents train today. All of it- you just took notes and hoped that at some point you'd have an idea.

When you looked up again you saw that it was 2 in the morning, forcing yourself to shut the notebook before taking a quick shower- getting through with your night time routine and then heading to bed. You ended up falling asleep around 3 am after all of that; meaning you were knocked out until pretty late in the morning the next day.

[lovingsylvia]

!A VERY EXCITING NEW RELEASE!

Title: The Collected Prose of Sylvia Plath

Editor: Peter K. Steinberg

Publication date: 12 September 2024

Publisher: Faber

Pages: 848!!

Image source (cover & description):

https://www.faber.co.uk/product/9780571377640-the-collected-prose-of-sylvia-plath/

About the book:

The complete edition of Sylvia Plath’s prose including much unpublished and previously uncollected material.

The Collected Prose stands alongside the Journals (2000) and the two volume Letters (2017 and 2018) to support a more complete understanding of Sylvia Plath’s ambition and achievement as a writer. Expanding on the selection published as Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams (1977), this volume draws together all of Sylvia Plath’s shorter prose, much of which is previously uncollected and unpublished. The volume embraces her experiments with the short story and pieces of non-fiction from the 1940s through to her more polished compositions of the fifties and early sixties, including fragments of fiction as well as her journalism and book reviews. Themes and associations become apparent as the volume offers new, intertextual ways of reading across Plath’s oeuvre, colouring and shading our understanding and appreciation of her extraordinary talent.

[alaskan-wallflower]

unpopular opinion but i guess i can see where people are coming from when they say they simp for a sp character. i mean, you see absolutely no fanart of the boys that’s of canon age (unless it’s in the south park style) and all of the teenage stan/kyle stuff is usually just matt stone and trey parker in the 90s. personally k don’t feel this way, but when teenagers see fanart of other teenagers, they’re gonna think it’s attractive. and i guess personality is something to go off of too. you could say you like kenny’s personality and like the way he looks in aged up fanart.

idk. it’s not my cup of tea but i can see where people are coming from. i prefer to write them aged up personally because it’s my way to rebel against the fandom and write high school fics that aren’t ’south park; fifty shades of gay’, but like…i guess i can see the appeal. if you take their personalities and stick it to fanart of them aged up then you get smth teenagers may find attractive. idk.

it’s still kinda odd for me to see people simp over posts with no indication of age because i always assume that means you’re simping for a 9 y/o but i guess it makes it somewhat better if it’s specified ‘i simp for aged up/post covid kyle’ y’know? it’s nothing that people should be shamed for unless they’re talking about themselves being with their canonical aged versions. i can see where those people are coming from.