#fids deserves the world

[thegaysatanist-blog]

I just *approaches wall* don't understand *grabs wall* why the fuck *leans back* he's so ADORABLE *bashes head into wall* This is a grown man *bashes head into woll* how is he so cutee *bashes head into wall* pookies eyes shine with the light of a thousand suns *bashes head* and he's doomed to have that light extinguished *bashhs hed* by thb ons hed truds thr moss *babses heab* i jst wana squish hid fase *cashes had* fricken cutie

[29121996]

.

[bleeezie]

Hi everyone. I want to take a minute to tell you about my best friend.

Her name is Fidget, and she's a 5.5 year old lab mix that I have had since she was about 2-3 months old, and she's been with me through some of the most difficult times of my adult life. She is the self-appointed mom and bath-giver to our cats and other dog, and has never met a person that she doesn't immediately want to rush up and meet with tail wags, kisses, and snuggles, and her personality, flare for drama, and insistence on being covered with a blanket at all times leaves an impression on everyone who meets her.

Simply put, she deserves the world. I haven't been able to spoil her with the world, but I have certainly been able to spoil her with love. Unfortunately, love isn't going to be enough to help her at this time.

A couple months ago, I found a lump on Fidget, and decided to keep an eye on it. Once I realized it was getting larger and I began to feel a couple more lumps in the area, I got her into the vet to get them looked at. The vet isn't sure what the lumps are yet, but he wants to do surgery to remove the lumps and also perform a biopsy on them.

Between the surgery and the biopsy, the bill is going to be somewhere near $700, and that's just not something that I'm able to budget for at this time. While the surgery date falls on a pay week, that would still use a little more than half of my paycheck, and will make the following two weeks incredibly tight financially.

I know the holidays just ended, and money is tight for everyone right now, but any little bit would be highly appreciated. I just want to get my best friend the care that she needs and deserves.

Thank you all for the help.

Take care of yourselves and each other

[futureailist]

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[lis-likes-fics]

His Little Songbird (Niklaus Mikaelson x Reader)

Chapter 11: The Kiss Summary: She's the poor girl he saved in the field, he's the hero who saved her, and things could not have been better. Except, that was centuries ago and things have long been changed. Now it's her turn to save him.

~~~~~

Y/N stared at him for a moment longer before moving the car to the side of the road and stepping out of it. Her hand lingered on the door before she finally closed it and continued to watch Klaus.

He licked his lips as he tried to decide what to say to her. He was conflicted. What was he meant to say?

He took in a breath and made himself look at her as he spoke first into the long silence, "I'm sorry." He slowly looked her in the eyes as he took a few steps forward, still quite far from her.

"I first met you and I fell in, what I believe to be, love. That night you left with us, Henrietta told me to take care of you, I promised I would. The night we danced at that ball, I knew I had to finally have you as my own. When you said you weren't ready, after being together for so many years, I started to wonder if you'd ever be ready. I doubted that you actually ever loved me. So I pushed you away to protect myself," he told her, looking at the ground a little.

"I never wanted to hurt you. When James said you had betrayed me, I wanted to believe it so that I could push you away I hopes that my feelings for you would disappear. Obviously, that didn't work. We've been...a thing of a mess without you," he muttered the last part to himself.

"I didn't realize how much I missed hearing you sing, especially that melody. I missed it so much. It had always been a reminder of how I felt about you, and when you stopped singing it, I truly felt that you moved on and that I would need to as well.

"That doesn't make up for what I've done to you, everything I've done to you. But I want to apologize to you because that's what you deserve from me. I'm sorry about pushing you away, I'm sorry for taking you from your home, I'm sorry for all the harm I've caused you. I'm sorry for everything."

She caught him by surprised when she rushed over and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her as she sighed. Silent tears came to the surface and he held her back after coming to terms that he wasn't dreaming.

They stayed like that for a moment as the world stilled around them. They missed holding each other in these intimate hugs when they were close. They didn't realize just how much they missed each other.

She pulled away slightly, examining his face as her eyes darted from his to his lips. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth before mumbling, "I'm... I'm ready, Niklaus. I'm sorry I wasn't ready before, I was scared. I was scared I'd been wrong and that if I kissed you, I would end up hurt. You weren't the only one pushing people away. But I'm ready now."

When she finished her last word, his lips crashed onto hers in a searing, world shattering kiss. Their lips moved in sync with each other, the kiss ultimately deepening as they poured their over two centuries long love into it. Niklaus' hands cradled the back of her head, her arms pulling him closer.

In the next second, Y/N's back was pushed up against a tree as Niklaus kissed her, his innocent love turning into hungry passion. She grunted slightly and his hands traveled down the side of her body, gripping the back of her thighs and boosting her up. He pressed into her to support her as her back was held up against the tree.

Her arms found his neck, keeping him close and giving herself extra support and reassurance that she wouldn't fall.

When they pulled apart for air, they were a panting mess. Her eyes opened to see his face so close to hers. She kissed his lips briefly before admitting through her loose lips, "I love you."

He stilled and opened his eyes to look at her. He sighed contently before connecting their lips again in another fiery kiss.

Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging on the strands and earning deep groans of pleasure from him. He fiddled with the button of her jeans, undoing them and pulling them down her body. He had to set her down on her feet just so she could kick them off.

He pulled her shirt from over her head, leaving her in a bra. He smiled down at her breast, kissing just above them as her head leaned back against the tree. She pulled his shirt off, it wasn't fair that she was half naked and he still had all his clothes on.

Her hands roamed his bare chest, his eyes fluttered closed under her touch and she kissed him again. She bit his lip, tugging lightly before releasing it from between her teeth. Niklaus smirked as he moved his hand and began rubbing circles over her panties and against her clit.

She moaned and threw her head back, hitting the tree but not having much care about it. "Oh, Niklaus," she sighed, grinding against him. It was his turn to moan, adding pressure to her clit and rubbing faster.

"How can you be so lovely?" he questioned before kissing her again.

Her core ached for him as he continued to rub her clit, pushing her further and further toward her release. She continued to grind against him.

She reached a hand down and went to unbuckle his belt, eager to feel him inside of her. She needed him so badly. Her body felt so hot and her panties were soaked through at this point. She was more ready for him than she'd ever been before.

"Please, I need you," she begged, kissing his neck gently.

"Say it again," he ordered.

"Please-"

"Not that."

She smiled, "I love you. I love you so much."

He smiled back and pulled his hand from her panties. She whined slightly but stopped when he pulled himself from his confines. She looked down and was left breathless by the length of him. "Oh my god," she mumbled under her breath.

Niklaus distracted her again, kissing her as he pulled her panties to the side. He paused just as he began lining himself up with her. He broke the kiss and looked at her deeply, "Are you sure you're ready?"

She kissed him, this time it was slow and sensual as she told him, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, Niklaus. I want you."

He smiled and kissed her again before pushing his whole length inside of her in one go. She broke the kiss and her mouth fell open, her eyes squeezing shut as she clenched around him. He sighed, pressing his lips to her neck as he allowed her to adjust to his impressive length.

"You're so tight, darling," Niklaus groaned.

She gasped, "You're so big."

She took another couple of moments before nodding, "Keep going." He slowly pulled out of her before pushing back inside, her legs wrapping tighter around his waist. He picked up his pace and pressure before he ended up fucking her into the tree.

The tree bark scratched at her back, but she didn't care much. It felt so good, he felt so good. She was in pure bliss as he pushed deeper and deeper inside of her with each thrust. "Oh, Niklaus... so good."

He smirked as he continued to groan in her ear, her walls clenching around his cock. He didn't even know if he would last if she continued to squeeze around him so much.

Niklaus muttered Y/N's name next to her ear, kissing and nibbling the skin over her pulse. "Bite me," she sighed, "Please, bite me, Niklaus. Make me yours."

That was an order he didn't mind taking. He bit down into her neck, her warm blood trickling in to his mouth as he drank. She grabbed one of his hands and he secured his other one farther around her waist. She kissed his wrist gently before sinking her teeth into it.

It was euphoric.

She had never tried blood sharing before, it was an intimacy she only ever wanted to share with one person, and here he was experiencing it with her with his cock buried inside of her cunt.

She could feel how good he felt as he just fucked harder into her, each thrust getting deeper than before - if that was even possible. Her cunt fluttered around him as she felt herself getting closer.

"Fuck, I need to cum," she sighed after pulling away from his wrist. The wound healed in the next second and Niklaus pulled away from her neck, blood dripping down his chin and matching her.

He kissed her, returning his hands to grip her hips hard. He steadied her and positioned herself better against the tree. The position better allowed him to fuck into her. Her mind went blank as she practically fell limp in his arms.

"Fuck!" she cried out, gasping deeply, "I love you!"

"Say it again," he demanded.

"I love you so much, Niklaus!"

He was so close, his cock twitched inside of her. He wanted to cum with her so badly and her words were driving him insane. "Again!" he ordered.

"Fuck, I love you!" she cried out, "I love you so much. I love you more than I can ever express! Please, Niklaus!"

"Fuck, come now," he told her, rubbing hard circles over her clit as both their orgasms hit them like freight trains. She cried out his name, he pressed deeper inside of her. He yelled her name into the air as his sweet release raked through his body.

They rode out their highs together, slowly coming down back to Earth with their heads spinning. She sighed and laid her head in his shoulder, gently kissing his neck.

They stayed like that for a moment before Niklaus spoke, "Y/N?"

"Hm?" she asked lazily.

"I love you, too," he confessed. She sat up and looked at him, a smile spreading over her face as tears pricked at her eyes.

His own smile graced his lips as he looked into her eyes and examined her face. He kissed her gently before finally pulling out, earning a delicious whimper from her.

"I've loved you since the first time I saw you. You were beautiful then and you're somehow even more beautiful now," he told her gently. He set her on her feet, and she looked up at him lovingly.

He glanced at the ground and bent down, picking up at flower that he spotted growing nearby by and weaving it into her hair expertly. His smile grew, "Now you look exactly like her."

"Who?"

"The innocent girl I met picking flowers and singing when she was human," he responded.

She snorted, "Yeah, I'm not innocent anymore."

"Not with me around, you aren't," he snickered. She kissed him quickly before bending down and picking up her clothes, putting them back on and dusting the dirt off.

As Niklaus put his own clothes back on, she turned to him, "Just for the record, I love being your little songbird."

He smirked, "Good, because I love my little songbird."

"And she's always loved her keeper."

~

She was accompanied by Niklaus when she went to return to Mystic Falls for her things, especially Cora. When she knocked on Caroline's door, Niklaus standing next to her with a smug smile on his face, she rolled her eyes.

"You could have stayed in the car, you know," she muttered. He merely smirked and let a chuckle roll of his tongue before the door opened.

Caroline had Cora in her arms, her hair a slight mess. Cora probably made her chase her. "Hey, Care. Thanks for watching Cora."

She looked between her and Niklaus and asked, "So you guys worked it out?"

"That is quite so, Caroline," he smiled, "How have you been?"

Caroline looked down at the cat in her arms, then back to Y/N and him. "I've been better."

She handed Y/N her cat, who fussed as she flailed around in her arms. Y/N rolled her eyes and shifted her to Niklaus, who she cuddled to as she purred.

"Thanks, again, Care. I'll repay you," she smiled.

"Damn right, you will," Caroline said, "This cat is a menace."

Y/N chuckled, hugged her and fiddled with her fingers as she told her, "I'll be moving back to New Orleans. Living in Mystic Falls is great and all, but I really miss home."

She nodded, "I know, I know. It was fun having you here though."

They hugged again and Y/N left with a wave and promises of visits. As soon as the were in the car and away from prying eyes, Niklaus went baby mode on Cora. "How are you, my little demon spawn? Did you miss me? I bet you did because I'm your favorite, aren't I?"

Cora meowed happily, adoring his praise and love. Y/N laughed as she drove to her place to pack her things.

~

Moving back into New Orleans was probably one of the best things you'd done all year. You missed this city so much, being back with your friends and family made you so happy.

"You owe me three months of happiness." Y/N was quick to remind Niklaus. He bent down and kissed her, "I'll give you lifetimes of happiness."

"You better."

When she moved back into her room in the Mikaelson compound, the siblings were more than happy to have her around again. She walked into her room, expecting to see the dead flowers that had been in there last time she saw. Instead, she was greeted by multiple vases and bouquets of flowers, given by many different people.

There were three cases from Elijah (her lovely flower giver), another vase with four different types of flowers from each member of her favorite band (Tito, Robbie, Joe, and Jacky), more bouquets from each Mikaelson sibling, some from Davina, Marcel, Josh, Cami, and Vincent. She smiled at the lovely gifts. It seems quite a few people missed her. Where the hell would she put them all?

She walked farther into her room, setting her things down, and then turned to the door. Niklaus was standing in the doorway with a smile on his face, and there was a large painting standing against the wall. It was a flower, slightly wilted but still in wonderful bloom. It was beautiful.

"Did you...?" she trailed as she stepped closer to it, touching the canvas gently. He nodded, "Of course."

He trailed off a little, watching her admire the artwork with tears in her eyes, "I painted it the day you had me watch Cora while you were gone. The day I sent you away."

She looked at him then, smiling and hugging him tightly. "Thank you. It's beautiful, I love it."

His arms wrapped around her body, holding her close to him, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Over the course of the next couple of years, more "I love you"s were exchanged. With those, came "always and forever", a sentiment she was so happy to have reached with Niklaus. Their sacred vows to each other being given to her made her truly happy.

Not long after, there was the question everyone wondered about. They never knew if it would be asked or not. When he finally asked the big question "will you marry me?", there was a collective "it's about time" from everyone the pair had ever met.

The wedding was grand, having been planned by Niklaus and Y/N, no one expected otherwise. Naturally, there were flowers everywhere you turned. Her dress was unnecessarily large, even she complained. But Niklaus definitely wasn't complaining when he saw her walking down the isle in white, with diamonds and flowers to compliment the look, her eyes shining and her smile bright.

They both had tears in their eyes as the music played and the vows were given. When the "I do"s were said, they were quite surprised they didn't full on cry at that point. They were pretty sure everyone was.

The reception lasted quite a while as it played on, friends and family giving congratulations. At some point the pair snuck away for a break from the guests and a little release.

Then the party came to a close as they drove away in their limousine, smiles on their faces and kisses on their lips.

Their honeymoon wasn't in Paris, or London. They didn't even leave the country. They went next door over to Texas, the place she was born and raised.

She visited some of Henrietta's family, catching up with them happily before reaching their honeymoon spot.

Y/N had inherited the house she grew up in via Henrietta. She made sure to maintain the house over the years, so making that their honeymoon spot was perfectly fine. The house looked the same way it had before - with the inclusions of modern times, of course.

Even her flower fields were still there, growing beautifully around the house.

Their honeymoon was sweet, long, and nostalgic. Returning to Texas was a good idea.

Their vacation lasted a month and a half before they finally returned to Louisiana, the king and (now) queen of New Orleans missed their kingdom too much to stay away for too long.

Years passed and they continued to declare their love to each other. She spoke, screamed, whispered, vowed, promised, and sang her love to the world.

And he sang right back.

Niklaus and his little songbird loved each other deeply forever, and they never turned back.

[chaekkung]

:(

[azlovesem]

Nobody has fans in tampa so dont worry. Fo tbtell me youve been to that shothole too along with kentucky for some reason. Id stay in feance fuck those people. Ive bern there ha ga ha ha ga ahh hee hes hed ha ha both fuckn idiot fuckn mother fuckn places! enough to kill someones in both spots! I forget what yhat fuckn guy said to me to set me off but only someone from Kentucky could say something so stupid as that guy said to me. So i duckn murdered hos stupid ass and buried hom in a shalloe grave face doen next yo the interstatw 75. But not everyone was so bad i met this wonderful girl there. We fid lovrceach other. Shecwas a goid gorl really funny. But no matter what after awhile people see me staring off into nowhere and the dakness in my eyes shows and its over. Same story over n over again after that. Im too much for most people i guess.people want comfort cozy nonsrnse and somethinv they saw on tv not live in most vmcases. Hence all the divorce. If thake right people got together to begin with the world woukdnt be fucked. Emma im hete to fight a war. Ive alreasy killed more people than you can imagine. They got what they deserved all of them. This is the end of man not the beginning.

"beauty and the beast" interview | 2017

[fictionkinfessions]

Literally everyone in my source: Please tell us the truth we want to help you!

Me: *opens up and is honest about my trauma exactly once to exactly one person other than my bf, who I asked not to tell anyone*

The mother fucker: *tells everyone what I told her*

Everyone: Stfu, you're lying, you're an asshole, how could you accuse him of something like that, even if what you said is true you deserved it cause you suck (proceeds to treat me almost the exact same as him just minus the constant assault and sexual abuse)

Awesome. Thanks for showing me I was right to never trust any of you with that kind of information. I'm glad I didn't tell you everything. I hope you all suffered right till the fucking end. You fucking deserve it. (How's it feel having your own words thrown back at you fuckers) you never wanted my honesty, you just wanted my complacency.

I was never the original threat. He was. But it's only fitting I became what you said I was, isn't it.

I'm a monster now and I have no shame in that. All the shame should be felt by you because you created me. You created me in your own image. It's not so nice looking in a mirror when you're so fucking wretched is it?

I hope you're scared of me now. I hope you feel even the faintest inkling of what I felt every fucking day I was surrounded by you all. I wish you all lived longer, I wish I was there to see your downfall, I wish you suffered more.

The things I did to you all, they're nothing when compared to what you all did to us. Because at least I don't lie, at least you actually did something to deserve it, I didn't do it just because I could, not because it was fun. At least I felt empathy and compassion for everyone in the beginning. I tried to understand you all, I really fid. I tried to stand it but you made it all so much worse.

I don't show emotions anymore and that's what you wanted right? An emotionless punching bag. It didn't help your case that you were all adults by then too, most of you were over 25 by that point. I'm pretty sure all the younger ones were gone by that time. But me and him, we were just traumatised teens. You knew better, you knew you were wrong.

At least I admit I'm a piece of shit, infact, I advertise it so people know what they're getting into when they decide to interact with me. At least there's still that small amount of good in me. At least, even though I'm such a piece of shit, I care enough to help others, to not judge them for things they cannot help.

Are you happy? Are you proud of destroying me? I wish I could've seen your faces when you realised that you were the ones that made that all possible. To watch you crumble as your world caved in around you like mine did. I think it would've been fun. For me. Not for you. I hope it sucked for you.

I will apologize to one person and one person only, and I hope he will know it's for him if he ever finds this.

I'm sorry you got swept up in my plans. that was not intended. I'm sorry you became their next target after I died, I hope it ended quickly and that you're safe now. I would give you the world if I could, but all I gave to you was pain, even despite my love for you.

I don't want your forgiveness, I don't deserve it. I just wish I knew you were finally safe. The thought of you suffering through that sickens me. I'm sorry that I was to blame for it.

I honestly doubt you're angry with me though, because you knew me, you understood me, and you still loved me even after what I became. I wish you were angry at me though, not for my self depreciation, which seems to be the only thing you get angry about, but for what I did, even just the slightest bit. I deserve it.

I wish you would stop loving me. You deserve so much better than a piece of shit like me. Someone who can love you and tell you about it. Someone caring. Someone the opposite of me.

I love you so much. I hope you're happy now, genuinely. I hope you're safe and loved and cherished like you should be. You were the best thing to ever happen in my life. I'm sorry I was one of the worst things to happen in yours.

[ila9182]

PLS DON'T HATE ME. I found some angsty prompst that I tought you might like for a new fic. They are "I’m not the same person you fell in love with" “You’re going through a rough time. You’re hurting. But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.” and “I know why you stay with him. You think you deserve the pain. You want it. And he’s all too happy to give it. But this isn’t healthy." Could you come up with something with these? Thank you!!

Hey everyone! I know it has been a while, but I’ve finally managed to write a prompt and I hope I will slowly be able to write all the requests you’ve sent me. It may take some time, but I’m working on it! ;)

So here’s the first story I came up with, mixing three prompt lines. Thank you so much @allons-y--spaceman for sending me this ask! Since I know a lot of you like my Closer AUs, here’s another one that is set somewhere during season 5 of The Closer. The flashbacks (in italics) are set 2-3 years prior.

I hope you will all like it! To make it up to you all, this prompt is rather long!

Warnings: alcohol, coarse language.

As always, mistakes are all mine.

----------------

“I’m not the same person you fell in love with.” + “You’re going through a rough time. You’re hurting. But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.” + “I know why you stay with him. You think you deserve the pain. You want it. And he’s all too happy to give it. But this isn’t healthy.”

Her mid-length floral dress fluttered in the late summer breeze as the sound of laughter filled the air. She ran gracefully, her dress swinging from side to side, uncovering her legs even more. She turned to look around and giggled when she noticed he was right behind her. She felt him circle her waist with his arms and she giggled even more, her green eyes shining with happiness. She pecked his lips and smiled at him before she set herself free and bent down to take off her sandals. She could feel him staring and when she met his eyes again, she realized he was watching her in awe, a loving smile on his face. She wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at her with so much love, desire and admiration at the same time.

She started jogging again, swinging her sandals by the strap, and smiled when she felt the soft sand under her feet. It didn’t take long for him to join her and wrap her in a tight embrace. She turned in his arms and stood on her tiptoes, locking her arms around his neck. She stared into his eyes and smiled, her cheeks lightly flushed, her green eyes sparkling. He leaned down and when his lips were only a few inches from her face, she caught them in a tender, but passionate kiss. She was careless. She was happy. She was in love.

-----------

Sharon felt someone sit on the stool next to her. She told herself that she wouldn’t be polite anymore if this someone would turn out to be another man trying to hit on her and offering to buy her a drink. Sharon sighed and kept staring at her almost empty glass of wine, wondering how the heck she had managed to drink it that fast. She swallowed the last sip of wine and put the glass back on the counter a little too forcefully.

“Another one, please?” Sharon asked, her words a little slurred, as she slid the empty glass toward the bartender.

“I think the lady had enough for tonight.” A familiar voice echoed next to her.

Sharon noticed a hand take the empty glass away from her and she groaned in frustration. She didn’t need to look to her right to know who was sitting next to her. She wished he would mind his own business and leave her alone. She kept staring right in front of her, ignoring him as she replied in a sharp tone, “It’s not up to you to decide.” She then met the bartender’s eyes and repeated, “I want another one, please.”

The bartender glanced at the two people in front of him, unsure of what to do. Andy shook his head and flashed his badge, “I got this, thank you.” He told him politely. The man nodded and got himself busy with other orders.

“You don’t get to flash your badge like that.” Sharon told him sharply as she finally turned to look at him, an annoyed expression on her face, “This is an inappropriate beha-…”

“Oh you can’t play the FID card with me right now, Sharon.” Andy cut her short firmly. “We’re not at work and you’re drunk, so let’s not talk about what is appropriate and what is not.” He added, challenging her with a look.

“How dare you?” Sharon hissed, leaning towards him. The last thing she wanted was to make a scene; she definitely didn’t need that kind of attention. “I’m not drunk.” She snapped, even if she was aware that her breath said otherwise.

Andy shook his head and sighed. He had been in her position countless times before; he knew how much damage alcohol could do to a person’s life. He just wished that it wouldn’t happen to Sharon, of all people. Maybe tonight was the first time she had drowned her sorrows in alcohol; he would definitely make sure it would be also the last. He locked eyes with hers and replied, in a surprisingly soft tone, “Sharon, I’m just trying to help you…”

“No one asked for your help, Lieutenant.” Sharon shot back, using his rank in an attempt to mark boundaries and to push him away definitely. “Go away.” She ordered, emphasizing each word slowly.

“And what?” Andy retorted, fighting to keep his anger at bay. He looked around and gestured nervously with a hand, “Leave you here with a bunch of men just waiting to take advantage of you?”

“This is not your business.” Sharon muttered through clenched teeth. “I can take care of myself.” She added, her words a little slurred.

Andy arched an eyebrow and sighed. He stood from his stool and took her gently by the arm as he whispered, “Not tonight, Sharon.” She didn’t move at first and glared at him, but when he tugged at her arm firmly but gently, she slowly and reluctantly stood as well even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. She felt like she had no control over her body anymore. Maybe Andy was right after all, but she would never admit it out loud. “Come on, I’m driving you home.” He told her in a soft tone as he left money on the counter. He then turned his attention back to her and urged her to follow him. Sharon felt him tighten his grip on her arm as she took a few hesitant steps, his voice sounding like a distant whisper when he reassured her, “It’s okay, don’t worry. I got you.”

----------------------

His lips rested against her hair as she sat between his legs, leaning her back against his chest. She closed her eyes and hummed contentedly as he kept his arms wrapped around her, his thumbs stroking her belly gently. She covered his hands with hers and squeezed them before turning her head lightly and nuzzling into his neck. She took a moment to breathe in his cologne and then dropped a few kisses down his neck. He shivered under the soft touch of her lips and tightened his embrace on her, brushing the side of her face with his lips. He kissed her temple softly and she pulled away, looking up to meet his stare. She smiled at him and her smile only grew wider when she felt him cup her face with both hands and whisper to her, “God, Sharon, you’re beautiful.”

She looked away, blushing. The sincerity in his eyes and tone still caught her by surprise, even if it wasn’t the first time he had told her so. She felt his thumb gently lift her chin and her eyes slowly met his again. He offered her a soft smile and she couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I love you…” She told him, her voice above a whisper.

“I love you more, babe.” He replied with one of his renowned grins and she melted. She felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush and she couldn’t help but think that she was ridiculous. The thought crossed her mind only for a few seconds though as her smile grew wider and she leaned in to kiss him tenderly.

They resumed their previous position, as she leaned her back against his chest. They stayed silent for a little while, enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms, rocked by the sound of the crashing waves and the evening summer breeze. She shivered lightly against him and he started running his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to keep her warm. She hummed softly and snuggled deeper against him. She shivered again, this time not because she was chilly, but because of his warm breath tickling her ear as he leaned in to whisper, “You’re cold, Sharon. Let’s go back to the car and go home…” He felt her stiffen against him and he rubbed her arms soothingly before adding in a reassuring tone, “Together. You’re coming home with me, babe.”

She relaxed in his arms again and he stood slowly. She instantly missed the warm of his body and shivered. He offered her his hand and helped her to her feet, his arms immediately pulling her close. She cuddled against his side as they walked back to the car. When she stumbled slightly in the sand he tightened his grip on her and whispered, “Don’t worry, I got you.”

---------------------

Sharon freed her arm from Andy’s grip with a scoff. “I can walk by myself.” She grumbled as she walked slowly to her car. She kept her eyes on her feet and tried to walk nonchalantly, as she felt his eyes on her, studying her every move. After a few seconds, Andy shook his head, sighed and followed her in silence.

Sharon reached her car and started rummaging in her purse. Andy leaned his back against her car, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched her dig through her purse, looking for her keys. He could feel her edginess, he could notice how tension stiffened her back. Sharon finally found her keys, but before she could even open her car, the keys glided out of her hand, hitting the ground with a loud clank.

“Dammit!” Sharon muttered through clenched teeth. She tried to bend down to pick them but stopped halfway, as dizziness flooded over her and forced her to lean against the car for support.

“Hey Sharon, easy!” Andy exclaimed and he took hold of her arm, holding her steady. Once he was sure the dizziness had passed, he let go of Sharon and picked the keys from the ground. “Come on, Sharon. I’m driving you home.” He informed her, opening the car door for her.

Sharon didn’t speak nor move. She merely glared at him, her arms crossed over her chest defiantly. Andy held her stare for a while, leaning against the open car door before he shrugged and sighed, “Fine, grab a taxi then, but there’s no way you’ll be driving home tonight.” He told her, jingling her keys in his hand.

Sharon threw him a death stare and scoffed before she neared him reluctantly. Andy didn’t move, his arms resting on top of the car door, as he studied her every move. She glanced at the passenger seat and was about to lower herself into it when she stopped. She stood between the seat and the car door and she hesitantly met his gaze.

Andy sensed her hesitation and he suddenly got a glimpse in her eyes of the vulnerability she had tried to hide all along. “Is he at home?” Andy asked softly. He didn’t need to say more, they both knew who he was talking about.

Sharon’s eyes hardened. She scoffed. “Do you think I would have ended up drinking my weight in alcohol if he were?” Sharon snapped, her tone a mixture of pain and anger. She didn’t move and kept staring at Andy as she barked, “He left, okay? He left for good a few weeks ago. So go ahead, tell me I told you so and leave me alone!”

Andy looked unfazed, his tone was still soft when he replied, “I’m not here to gloat…” He looked down and sighed before meeting her glaring eyes again, “I hate that he did this to you…” He paused and added with another sigh, “again…”

Sharon was a little taken aback by the sadness she could read in his eyes and hear in his tone. He seemed genuinely concerned, but before she could let her mind dwell on that thought, she shook her head and said coldly, “Well this must be what I deserve.”

“No, no, no.” Andy replied immediately, his hand instinctively reaching for her arm to comfort her. He refrained from touching her when he noticed Sharon taking a step back hastily. His hand hovered briefly in the air before he let his arm fall back to his side. “You don’t deserve it, Sharon…” He told her softly and she met his eyes again hesitantly. “You don’t deserve any of this.” He repeated. There was once again something in her eyes, some kind of vulnerability Sharon wasn’t able to fully hide, at least to him. Andy wasn’t sure Sharon believed his words, but he knew she needed to hear them. He knew she needed them to prevent her mind from spiraling into the world of unworthiness and inadequacy Jack had made her fall into. “But believe me, Sharon…” Andy spoke after a few minutes of silence and stares between them, “the drinking isn’t a solution here.”

There was no reproach in his voice. He wasn’t judging her; his tone was oddly… broken. Andy’s voice trembled lightly as he said those words, and he didn’t try to hide it. He hoped she would understand that he was hurting just as much as her, that seeing her like this was tearing him apart… that he felt helpless. Sharon stayed silent and kept staring at him, her usually mesmerizing green eyes now building up with tears. Her lower lip started to quiver and she drew in a few shaky breaths. Andy slowly walked around the open car door, but before he could reach her, Sharon blinked a few times. It all happened in a flash. Her tears were gone, the quivering of her lip stopped, her features hardened. She turned toward Andy and shot back, “Oh well, the Husband and Father of the Year has spoken. I should definitely take the advice.”

Andy shuddered but said nothing. The look in his eyes however spoke volumes. Sharon knew the moment her words left her mouth that she would hurt him deeply, but she couldn’t stop, just like she couldn’t stop her next words, “Not everybody is weak like you, Andy.” Sharon told him defiantly, “I am not an alcoholic. I know when to stop.”

“Oh really, you do, Sharon?” Andy shot back harshly, his patience growing thin. “Then tell me why you can hardly stand on your feet tonight?” He asked her mockingly, looking at her from head to toe.

“Fuck you.” Sharon spat, glaring at him.

“I used that answer a lot as well when I didn’t know how to reply anymore.” Andy merely told her and Sharon glared at him even more. “Come on, let’s get you home.” He added, as he took her by the arm and helped her lowering herself into the passenger seat, ignoring her protests and huffs.

Sharon reached for her seatbelt nervously and tried to fasten it, groaning as she struggled with it. Andy leaned in and reached for the seatbelt, buckling up Sharon in a blink of an eye. When he looked up, he immediately met her glaring eyes and realized her face was only a few inches from his. He could feel Sharon’s intoxicated breath tickling his skin when she muttered, emphasizing each word, “I hate you.”

“Yeah, well don’t worry…” Andy let out, pulling away, “I’ll drive you home and then I won’t bother you anymore.” He added in a defeated tone as he closed the passenger door.

---------------------

The quick, sharp sound of the knife chopping against the board resonated through the silent house. He put the knife down and arranged the freshly cut fruits on the plates before he stirred the pancake batter in the bowl. He grinned when he felt arms circle his waist and a warm body press against his. She rested her head against his back and tightened her embrace as her fingers brushed the skin of his belly gently. He shivered under her soft touch and whispered, “Hey there, you’re already up?” He turned around slowly, sliding an arm around her and pulling her closer against his chest. His grin grew wider when he noticed she was wearing his old t-shirt. “This is my t-shirt…” He pointed out teasingly.

She hummed softly and looked up to meet his gaze when she replied, “I woke up and you weren’t there… I was cold…”

“Sorry about that.” He answered, giving her a tender kiss. “I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.” She kissed him back and hummed softly, her hand caressing his naked torso. When they pulled away, he looked at her from head to toe and told her with a bright smile, “Mmm, this looks better on you by the way.” He ran a hand over the fabric of his t-shirt and added, “You can keep it.” He stroked her back lovingly as he pulled her against him again.

She lifted her head from his chest and looked at the kitchen counter. Her face lit up when she asked, “Pancakes?”

“Yes, babe. I was about to make them.” He noticed she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could speak, he pecked her lips and added with a smirk, “Yeah, I know. One single pancake for you.” She rolled her eyes at him and patted his upper arm playfully before he caught her lips with his in a lingering kiss. Their lips were still brushing when he muttered, “Go back to bed, I’ll be there with the food shortly.”

She smiled happily and stole another kiss from him before she walked away with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips. He stared at her in awe until she disappeared in the bedroom and he then resumed preparing breakfast with a foolish grin on his face.

He joined her in the bedroom after a couple of minutes, holding a tray with a proud smile on his face. She smiled back at him, her eyes shining with happiness. He reached the bed and sat down delicately, careful not to spill the coffee on the sheets. She helped him place the tray on the bed and when he settled against the headboard, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly.

“Thank you.” She whispered with a bright smile.

He returned the smile and stroked her face with a hand, “It’s just breakfast.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

She shook her head and looked away, her eyes now focused on the tray when she whispered, “It’s more than that…”

He wasn’t sure he understood what she meant, but he looked at the tray as well and moved lightly to reach for her plate. He handed it to her and told her jokingly, “Here, your lonely pancake.”

She rolled her eyes and giggled as she took the plate from his hands. She leaned her back against the headboard, her legs tucked under her as she watched him take the second plate and resume his position next to her. She looked up to meet his gaze, unable to stop smiling and he motioned for her to start eating. She cut the pancake and brought the fork to her mouth gracefully. She hummed softly as she chewed her first bite of pancake and he couldn’t help but smile at how endearing she was.

She could feel him staring at her and the corners of her lips turned up in an amused smile as she kept eating her breakfast. He seemed too lost in his contemplation to even notice she was looking up at him. She leaned in and dug her fork into a slice of peach on his plate before quickly bringing it to her mouth. It seemed to get his attention because he exclaimed, “Hey, no stealing Captain!”

She giggled as she kept chewing, mischief dancing in her eyes. “Sorry.” She added with a grin before she leaned in and pecked his lips. He rolled his eyes at her and they kept eating their breakfast in silence. Once they were done, he took the plate from her hands and placed it back next to their empty mugs on the tray.

“Mmmm… thank you, it was delicious.” She said as she lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling with a bright smile on her face.

“Anytime, babe…” He whispered as he lay on his right side and propped his head up on one hand. He gazed down at her, the fingers of his other hand playing with the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing. “It looks much better on you, it really does…”

She diverted her gaze from the ceiling and turned her head to meet his eyes. She smiled brightly, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush before she looked away and whispered, “I could get used to this…”

“You should, babe. I’m not going anywhere…” He replied softly, his hand stroking her thigh gently.

“Isn’t it what everybody says?” She whispered wistfully, her eyes focused on the ceiling.

“Mmm, I’m hurt.” He told her with a pout, faking offense, “You should know by now that I’m not like everybody else.” He added jokingly.

She giggled and his face lit up when he heard her laugh. She turned to face him, lying on her left side and reached for his face, stroking his cheek lovingly. “You sure aren’t.”

He closed the gap between them and kissed her tenderly. She kissed him back, running a hand through his hair, pulling him closer, as she pressed her body against his. When they pulled apart for air, she was nearly on top of him and he rested his forehead against hers, ���I love you so much…” he murmured.

She hummed softly and pecked his lips quickly. “I love you too.” She cuddled against his side and rested her head on his chest, an arm wrapped loosely around him and their legs intertwined. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and tightened his embrace on her. She hummed contentedly and repeated against his chest, “I love you so much, Andy…”

------

She never thought she would make it home. Sharon stumbled at the front door, kicking off her high heels frantically and dropping her purse on the floor in a very uncharacteristic way. She walked hesitantly to the bathroom, her hand brushing the wall in case she would need some support. Andy’s eyes followed her silently, as he considered whether he should leave or stay to make sure she was okay. He heard the bathroom door bang a little too forcefully against the wall and he sighed. He closed the front door behind him and quickly made his way to the bathroom.

Sharon just wanted to get rid of her work clothes and splash some cold water on her face. That was the plan. Too bad she didn’t even make it to the sink. Without a warning, she felt dizzy again. A wave of nausea wrenched her stomach. Her whole body tensed as she realized what was going to happen. She quickly knelt down and leaned over the toilet, flipping up the toilet seat. She gasped and choked as she tried to hold back the first rush of vomit, but she couldn't contain it. Her fingers gripped the toilet hard, her knuckles turning white as she threw up. Just as a second, harder wave hit her, she felt Andy kneel beside her, pull her hair back with a hand and wrap his other arm around her. She wanted to push him away, but she didn’t have the strength to do so. She didn’t even have the strength to keep her eyes open. Why the fuck did she have to drink so much? She wasn’t twenty anymore. She would deal with this hangover for days.

“It’s okay…” Andy whispered soothingly in her ear. Sharon wondered how he could stay so close to her and not being disgusted by the smell, or by her. “Don’t worry, I got you.” He added, his chin brushing against her shoulder. Her body was trembling lightly against his as she was fighting the urge to vomit again. “Just don’t hold back, you’ll feel better after that…” Andy told her softly.

Sharon gagged and threw up again, more violently this time. She leaned back heavily against Andy, her head resting against his shoulder. A cold sweat dripped from her forehead as she muttered, out of breath, “Fuck…”

“Yeah, I know.” Andy whispered sympathetically, “This part always sucks.” He added, holding her against him.

Sharon closed her eyes as she tried to catch her breath and to suppress another wave of nausea. “Your driving… s-still sucks.” She managed to say in a shaky tone before she gagged again and threw up for the third time.

Yeah, right… My driving... Andy held back from making a comment and rubbed her back soothingly as she leaned over the toilet, gagging and coughing. Sharon crashed her body hard against Andy’s, worn out by the strain of throwing up. She kept her eyes closed as silent tears streamed down her cheeks.

Andy let go of her hair and slowly sat on the floor, his back leaning against the shower, pulling Sharon against him. She didn’t protest, not that she had any strength left to. He gently rubbed her arms as they sat silently on her bathroom floor. He stood after a few minutes and helped Sharon leaning against the shower wall for support as he walked to the sink and ran a washcloth under the cold water. He knelt down in front of Sharon again and put the washcloth on her forehead. She jumped slightly and opened her eyes, immediately meeting his. His touch was delicate as he moved the washcloth down her cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” Andy asked her softly, concern in his voice.

“Like shit…” Sharon whispered, her throat hoarse from throwing up.

“Understandable.” Andy merely replied, wiping her tears away with the washcloth. He then brushed it over her lips, rubbing the corners softly. “Do you think you can stand?”

Sharon nodded and Andy helped her to her feet. She was still a little unsteady and reached for the wall in support. Andy noticed it and held her by the arm gently. “I’ll prepare you something to drink to ease the nausea… Why don’t you freshen up and change in some more comfortable clothes in the meantime?” He suggested. “Do you think you can make it?”

“Of course, I can.” Sharon immediately replied, a hint of pride in her tone. Andy knew how much she hated depending on people and asking for help. She had made it clear to him a thousand times. It was a wonder she hadn’t kicked him out of her condo already.

Sharon sighed loudly, interrupting his train of thought. He looked at her and noticed she was fumbling with the buttons of her blazer. He halted her movement, covering her hands with his. She met his eyes and glared at him, but she didn’t move away. “Let me…” Andy murmured softly, unfazed.

Sharon sighed again and freed her hands from his grasp. He stared at her, waiting for her to say something, but she merely nodded. Andy started unbuttoning her blazer slowly, feeling her gaze on him. He then helped her out of it delicately, brushing his fingers on her bare arms, before he draped the blazer over his arm. “I can leave some fresh clothes for you on your bed…” Andy offered, hoping he didn’t overstep.

Sharon nodded. “Second drawer in the closet.” She merely said.

“Second drawer in the closet.” Andy repeated, nodding as well. “You’ll be okay?” He asked her, locking his eyes with hers.

“Yes.” Sharon replied firmly and Andy knew it was his cue to leave. He nodded and walked to the door. “Andy?” She called to him hesitantly as he was about to step out.

“Yes?” Andy asked, turning around to look at her.

“Thank you.” Sharon told softly, offering him a faint smile.

Andy smiled back and stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He looked around her bedroom. The room was just as he remembered it, even if he hadn’t been in there in a long time. A loud sigh escaped his lips without him even noticing. He walked to her closet and opened her second drawer. He felt a little uncomfortable going through her stuff, so he quickly picked some black yoga pants and was about to grab a simple white t-shirt when something caught his eyes. He stared at the t-shirt for a few seconds, a soft smile crossing his features. His fingers reached for it hesitantly, caressing the fabric of the familiar clothing, memories coming back to his mind. He picked the old t-shirt, closed the drawer and placed the clothes on her bed before he left her bedroom.

-------------

“I’m glad you could make it…” Andy told her after he opened his front door, a bright smile on his face. He leaned down to kiss her, but Sharon pulled away as his lips were about to touch hers.

“I can’t stay, Andy.” Sharon told him firmly.

Andy arched an eyebrow, taken aback by her tone. “You got a call during the drive here? You have to go back to work?” He asked. “Come in, let me fill you a mug with some coffee if you’re going to have a long night.” He offered with a smile, taking her hand and tugging at it.

“Andy, no.” Sharon replied, freeing her hand from his and standing on the doorstep. “I’m not going back to work, I’m going home.”

Andy frowned, a confused expression on his face. “Sharon, what’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes studying her worriedly. She looked different. Tensed, stern, distant. He didn’t remember the last time he had seen her like this.

Sharon took a deep breath and shook her head, “We can’t keep going on, this has to stop.” She told him coldly. When she noticed Andy staring at her with a blank expression, she added sharply, “It’s over, Andy.”

“Over? W-what? Sharon, come on…” Andy fumbled, a look of panic on his face. This didn’t make any sense. They were happy, they were doing so good together… “W-where did I go wrong? W-what…” He sighed and took a deep breath before he tried to form a coherent sentence, “At least, can we talk about it?”

“There is nothing else to say, Andy.” Sharon answered coldly and he couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. He didn’t recognize her anymore. “It’s over.” She repeated blankly.

“Oh yeah?” Andy told her, irritation getting the upper hand, “You wake up one morning and decide with no reasons to call it quits? That’s it? That’s how Sharon Raydor does it? That’s how you throw away someone’s love?” He shouted back, his voice shaking lightly.

“Stop it!” Sharon shot back angrily, stepping inside and closing the gap between them. She jabbed his chest with a threatening finger, “You don’t get to talk to me this way, Andy! You have no idea what’s going on, okay?!”

“Then tell me!” Andy barked, slamming the front door shut. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down as he repeated in a softer tone, “Then tell me, talk to me Sharon. I am here, I am listening.” His tone was almost pleading. “Whatever it is, we can fix this, Sharon. Together.” He added encouragingly.

“No, we can’t Andy.” Sharon shook her head, taking a few steps back. She turned her back to him and repeated more firmly, “We can’t.” Sharon drew in a few shaky breaths and closed her eyes. She couldn’t allow the tears to fill her eyes, she couldn’t let him show how hard this was for her. She knew very well that he wouldn’t let her go so easily. He loved her too much to do that. She reopened her eyes and bit her lower lip, already hating herself for what she was going to do, but she had no other choice. She turned around and met his gaze. The half hurt, half worried look in his eyes almost made her give in. “Can’t you see it, Andy?! I needed a distraction, you were a distraction. Nothing more.” Her heart ached with every word she said to him, but the lump in her throat got tighter and she nearly choked on the words she was about to say next, “I don’t love you, Andy. Never did and never will.” She added sharply, looking away.

“Sharon, please, don’t do this to yourself…” Andy told her in a begging tone. “You know very well that this isn’t true. What we have, there is no pretending. It is real and you know it. I love you, Sharon and you love me, I know you do.” He went on, locking eyes with hers, “You told me so the nights I held you close after a tough day. You told me so during our breakfasts in bed, our lazy Saturday mornings when we cuddled in bed. You told me so every time I held you tight against my chest after we made love.” Sharon stared at him, the lump in her throat getting so tight she almost couldn’t breathe. Tears welled up in her eyes and she had a hard time at keeping them at bay. “You told me so that day at the beach. You told me so almost every day the last six months of the year we’ve been together. What we have…”

“What we have is nothing, Andy.” Sharon cut him short, forcing her voice to sound firm. “Nothing!” She repeated louder. “Can’t you understand? It was convenient, Andy. I was lonely, I needed someone around and you were here.” She looked away, unable to hold his gaze anymore as she added, “It was convenient, now it isn’t anymore. My husband is back and I need to be there for my family.”

“What family, Sharon?!” Andy exclaimed, dumbfounded. “You brought your kids up alone. You’ve been a hell of a mother, and a father figure to them as well. You three are a family, you don’t need him back in your life.”

Sharon met his eyes again and sighed. He was right and she knew it, but she couldn’t let him understand that. Her features hardened and she shot back, “If you would have fought harder for your family you would have understood how important it is for my children to have a father, regardless of how old they are.” She wanted to take her words back the moment they left her mouth and she read hurt in his eyes. She should have stopped there, but somehow the words kept coming out of her mouth and she was making no effort in stopping them, “But how could you even know? You gave up.”

Sharon didn’t think she could have reached such a lowest point. Andy was staring at her silently, taken aback at her painful words. When she noticed his eyes glistening with tears, she felt like her heart stopped beating. Pain shot through her chest, but she knew it was nothing compared to the pain she had caused to him. She felt so disgusted with herself. Andy deserved someone better than her.

Andy blinked the tears back quickly and clenched his jaw nervously. He glared at her and told her harshly, “Are you seriously going to sacrifice your happiness for a man who doesn’t give a fuck about you? A man who will leave you again as soon as he gets what he wants? A man who comes back to you because he doesn’t have any of his bitches to fuck at the moment? In the name of what are you doing this, Sharon?” He asked her angrily. “A family you will never be able to put back together. Never!”

Angry tears rolled down her face. She wiped them away hastily as she neared him quickly and slapped him across the face. Andy didn’t even react when she snapped at him, “You’re an asshole.” She took a few steps back, her teary eyes still focused on him as she added, “I have no intention to stand here and to listen to you offending me.”

Sharon turned her back to him and made her way back to the door when Andy grabbed her by the wrist, “Sharon, wait.” He said in a calm tone.

“Andy, please, let me go.” Sharon begged him in a shaky voice. They couldn’t keep going on and hurting each other so deeply. She couldn’t take it and she knew he couldn’t neither.

Sharon was already at the door when Andy halted her movement, covering her hand with his on the door handle. He gently turned her around so she could face him and kept his hands on her waist. Sharon tried to take a step back, but she realized she was trapped between the door and his body. Andy stared into her eyes intensely and Sharon was taken aback by the love she could read in them, even after all the pain she was causing to him. Sharon felt overwhelmed. She couldn’t hold his gaze any longer and lowered her head.

Andy cupped her face with both hands delicately, his thumbs drawing soothing patterns on her cheeks. Sharon closed her eyes briefly, her upper lip quivering lightly as she tried to hold back her tears. Andy lifted her head slowly towards him and leaned in until his lips nearly brushed hers. “Tell me again this relationship means nothing to you, tell me again I mean nothing to you...” Andy told her softly.

“Andy…” Sharon whimpered.

Andy kissed her with a gentleness that nearly had her broken down in his arms. His kiss left no doubt about how he felt about her, about how important she was to him. She held back from kissing him back and telling him that she loved him just as much as he did love her. She couldn’t. A tear escaped her right eye and rolled down her face until Andy wiped it away with this thumb gently. His hands went back to cup her face as he leaned down again and whispered to her, “Tell me you don’t love me…”

Another soft and lingering kiss. Another couple of tears streaming down her face. Sharon placed her hands on his upper arms when he murmured, “Tell me you aren’t happy with me…”

Andy was about to kiss her again but Sharon turned her head to the side. “This isn’t about me anymore, Andy.” Sharon replied in a soft broken tone as she met his eyes again. “I have to do what is right for my family.” She blinked back her tears and told him, her voice above a whisper, “If you’ve ever loved me, Andy…”

“I love you more than words can say, Sharon.” Andy answered right away, his voice breaking as he pronounced her name. Sharon would have normally teased him about how sappy he was. Now his line broke her heart even more.

“Then let me go.” Sharon told him in a choked voice as she freed herself from his embrace and turned to open the door.

“I can’t lose you.” Andy said in a broken whisper.  

“I was never yours to lose in the first place, Andy.” Sharon replied faintly. She didn’t look back and walked away from Andy as tears kept running down her face.

-----------

Sharon was sitting on the chaise lounge on her balcony, her knees pulled to her chest. She rested her left cheek on one knee and closed her eyes, as she felt dizzy again. She heard the glass door slide open and turned her head towards the sound. Sharon saw Andy step out on the balcony with a mug in his hands.

“Hey there…” Andy whispered softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better…” Sharon murmured and thanked him softly as she accepted the mug he was handing her.

“Ginger tea.” Andy told her. “It helps with everything. Nausea, hangover… trust me, I know.” He added with a small smile.

“Of course you know.” Sharon replied and realized the implication in her words only once they had left her mouth. She sighed and looked down at the warm liquid in the mug as she whispered, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Andy reassured her, shrugging, “It’s true.” He added with a sad smile as he sat at the end of the chaise lounge, making sure there was enough distance between them and he wasn’t invading her personal space.

Sharon glanced at Andy over her mug, but said nothing. She couldn’t understand why he was still there after everything that had happened between them, but she was somehow glad he didn’t leave. She slowly and carefully sipped her ginger tea, closing her eyes as the warm liquid slid down her throat. She let out a satisfied sigh. This was just what she needed. Sharon took a deep breath, a spicy scent hitting her nostrils, and stared at the smoky liquid.

Sharon could feel Andy’s eyes on her. She glanced over her mug again and noticed he was studying her cautiously. Andy looked away immediately, a little flustered that she had caught him staring. When he met her gaze shyly again, Sharon offered him a faint smile. He smiled back at her as she kept sipping her tea. They stayed in silence for a while. No words were exchanged, but both were oddly comfortable in that silent situation.

Once the mug was empty, Sharon put it back on the small table next to her chair. She hugged her knees to her chest, resuming her previous position when she whispered softly, meeting his eyes hesitantly, “I’m not the same person you fell in love with.” Sharon sighed. “That Sharon is long gone, Andy…”

Andy studied her silently. He shook his head, a soft smile appearing on his face before he went back serious and replied, “You’re going through a rough time.” Sharon swallowed hard and looked down when Andy added, “You’re hurting.” She wished he had lost his ability to read her like a book, but here he was, forcing her to face the turmoil of emotions she had tried to keep at bay lately. Unsuccessfully. Andy shook his head and looked down. A soft sigh escaped his lips when he said, his voice above a whisper, “But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.”

Sharon drew in a shaky breath upon hearing his confession. How could he still love her after everything she had done? After all the pain she had caused to him? She felt tears well up in her eyes, pressing against her eyelids when she tried to blink them away. “I sent you away.” Sharon whispered, forcing her voice to sound firm despite the lump in her throat.

Andy met her eyes and smiled sadly, “I know, but I also know you thought you were doing the right thing.” He placed his hand on the chaise lounge, closer to Sharon. There was hesitation in his eyes whether she would welcome a physical contact from him. He looked down at his hand as he brushed the chaise lounge’s material with his thumb. “You always want to do the right thing, Sharon and when you do so, you hardly think about yourself.” Andy added, slowly locking eyes with hers.

Sharon swallowed painfully. He knew her too well. She looked away, focusing her gaze on the empty cup on the small table. “I had to try, I couldn’t tear Jack from my children’s lives.” She said quietly. “They needed their father.”

“You see Sharon…” Andy told her gently, “This is not by staying with Jack that he’s going to be a father to your kids. Sadly, you can’t make this decision for him.” He added, shaking his head slightly. “Sandra and I are divorced. We barely talk to each other, we know nothing of each other’s lives now, but I’m still a father to my kids.” He explained quietly, “I’m trying, I’ve found a way to be there for them even if Sandra wished I was long gone.” He sighed, briefly looking down before locking his eyes with Sharon’s again. “She has no intention of helping me in rebuilding a relationship with my kids, but I can’t blame her. I’ve destroyed our marriage, I’ve hurt her more than words can say…” He whispered, regret in his voice, “And some days my kids don’t want to see me, but it’s fine. I keep being there for them, I keep trying. I’m not giving up on them any time soon.” Andy paused and ran a hand through his hair. He placed his hand back on the chaise lounge and stared at it for a few seconds before he looked back at Sharon and went on, “I’m not telling you this to hear you say what an amazing father I am. I am not.” He sensed Sharon was about to interrupt him and he raised his hand to stop her. Andy shook his head and added, “A good father wouldn’t have screwed up in the first place.” He let out another heavy sigh. “But I am here and I’m trying to fix my mistakes. I’ve found a way, but this way doesn’t include Sandra sacrificing her happiness to stay with me.” Andy studied Sharon, looking for a reaction but she kept her features neutral. He went on hesitantly, “I know it’s hard to hear, Sharon… you can even be the perfect wife to Jack, but he’ll never be a father to your kids if he is not ready or if he doesn’t want to…” Andy let the words sink in and noticed Sharon was about to say something, but he cut her short, “And before you say it, you can’t make him change. You can’t guide him in that direction… it’s his choice, as wrong as it may be.”

He was an amazing man instead, maybe she should have just told him that, but Sharon kept staring at him, the words dying in her throat every time she tried to speak. She was trying her best to blink away the tears that started to build up in her eyes. “This is complicated, Andy…” Sharon finally whispered, her voice shaking a little.

“You know, my mother used to say: life is simple, we are the ones who insist on making it complicated.” Andy replied gently, a soft smile gracing his features.

Sharon sighed. She ran a hand through her hair; her head was throbbing. Why on earth did she think that drinking that much was a good idea?

“I know why you stay with him.” Andy told her quietly. Sharon looked up to meet his gaze and frowned. “You think you deserve the pain. You want it.” Sharon frowned even more and Andy added before she could interrupt him, “And he’s all too happy to give it.” He didn’t need to say more, they both knew who he was talking about. “But this isn’t healthy. Why are you punishing yourself like that, Sharon?” Andy asked, sadness in his voice. “How can you believe you deserve this?” He wondered, not expecting an answer from her. “Maybe he made you believe this, but it is not on you if he’s a drunk, it is not on you if he has a gambling addiction. This is what addicts do; they put the blame on someone else. I was like this as well…” Andy admitted embarrassed, his voice above a whisper, “I was too weak to even acknowledge I was destroying everything.” Andy sighed and slowly met Sharon’s gaze again. “Sharon, it is not on you if he has chosen not to be there for his kids. They have grown up to be amazing young adults and this is all because they have an incredible mother.” Sharon’s breath hitched in her throat upon hearing Andy’s words. She swallowed painfully, holding back her tears. “You should take pride of a job well done, you should be proud of the strong woman you are, Sharon, because hell, I am. I am proud of you, of your dedication, of your strength, of your sacrifice…” Sharon stared at him with teary eyes, unable to say a word. She wasn’t sure she had heard anyone speak of her like that. “But now it is time to think about yourself, Sharon. Life isn’t over. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy.” Andy told her with a gentle tone.

Sharon looked down and shook her head. “I don’t know if I can…” She whispered, her voice shaking lightly as she hugged her knees to her chest tighter.

“Of course you can.” Andy reassured her with a soft smile. “You just need a little more time, but you’ll get there. You need to learn to trust again, you have to believe that good things can happen for you as well… because they can, Sharon.”

Sharon rested her chin on her knees and closed her eyes. She hugged her knees even tighter as her lower lip started to quiver. Andy hesitantly reached out, caressing Sharon’s leg delicately. She opened her eyes again and whispered in a trembling voice, “I’ve made a mess, Andy… I-I… that night…”

“We both said things to hurt each other that night.” Andy interrupted her gently, “But tell me something, Sharon…” He went on hesitantly. “Were you happy with me?”

“Of course, Andy…” Sharon quickly let out in a choked up tone. “I-I… The time we spent together…” She drew in a few shaky breaths before she added, “These moments together were some of the happiest moments of my life… The things I’ve said to you that night… I didn’t…” Her voice trailed off before she could even finish her sentence.

“I know…” Andy told her softly.

Sharon looked up, trying to blink away the tears. “I was so close to give in…” She murmured, her voice above a whisper.

“I wish you did…” Andy replied, sadness in his tone.

“I wish I did too…” Sharon agreed, sniffing softly. She looked away, unable to hold his gaze anymore. Her eyes were filling with tears and she didn’t feel like she could hold them back anymore. Her lower lip trembled, but she couldn’t bring herself to cry in front of him.

Andy noticed her struggling and he whispered soothingly, “Hey Sharon… Come here…” He scooted closer to her on the chaise lounge and opened his arms for her.

Sharon stared at him for a few seconds. Andy could sense her hesitation and he was ready for her to push him away. He was surprised when Sharon slid slowly toward him, closing the gap between them. Andy wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight as he felt her cling to him. Sharon buried her face in the crook of his neck and he stroked her hair soothingly. This was all it took for Sharon to break down, a soft and steady stream of tears trickling down his collar. Andy shivered slightly and tightened his embrace on her, his hand stroking her hair and then rubbing her back soothingly.

“I’ve made a mess…” Sharon whispered again once her tears stopped, her face still buried in his neck. Her breath tickled his skin and Andy’s hand went back to her hair, caressing it gently.

“It’s nothing that we can’t fix…” Andy reassured her. “It’s okay, Sharon…”

Sharon pulled away slightly, enough to look at him in the eyes, her own eyes still glistening with tears. “I don’t deserve this, Andy…” She murmured and looked away.

“I know.” Andy merely replied and Sharon felt her heart sink. “You deserve way better than me.” He added sadly.

Sharon snapped her head up and answered immediately, “No, Andy, no…” She cupped his face with both hands and told him in a pained tone, “You deserve way better than me. I hurt you so bad, Andy. You’ve been nothing but amazing with me and I pushed you away…” She drew in a shaky breath and went on, “And after all I’ve done… y-you’re still here…”

“I will always be here for you, Sharon…” Andy whispered, his voice slightly trailing off.

A sob racked her body and Sharon looked away, her hands still cupping his face. “What I said that night…” She paused and shook her head, a few tears escaping her eyelids. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Andy…”

Andy’s hand reached her cheek and he turned her head delicately, so she could face him again. “Good thing…” Andy told her with a small smile, “Because I’ve never stopped loving you as well.” He added truthfully.

Sharon smiled at him wanly, her eyes still shining with unshed tears. She wrapped her arms around him again and Andy hugged her back tight. They stayed in silence in each other’s arms for a while, enjoying the feeling of their newfound closeness.

Sharon rested her head on his shoulder, stroking his chest with a hand when she whispered against him, “Where do we go from here, Andy?”

Andy looked down at the woman in his arms. Their eyes met and he smiled softly at her, “How about we take it slow? We’ll figure this out one step at a time…” He proposed gently. “Together.” He added, his hand caressing her hair delicately.

Sharon hummed contentedly and snuggled deeper against him. She felt Andy drop a kiss on the top of her head and tighten his embrace on her. A smile graced her features. “Together…” She repeated after a few minutes of silence, as if she wanted to test how the word sounded, “I like that.” Sharon pulled away to look at Andy. The smile that lit up her face said more than a thousand words.

[alnazxr]

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

How is your character wrong? What misconceptions about the world, others, and/or themselves do they have? Do they ever work past these misconceptions?

Oof, heavy questions alright, let’s go with my Tracker from the interactive fiction Greenwarden by @fiddles-ifs who handily wins the position of most messed-up MC I have.

The mind of Jay Barrow is not a nice place to be in- canon PTSD, canon depression, canon implied self harm. Extreme self-loathing to the point that she’s definitely tried to commit suicide before deciding that she doesn’t even deserve the peace of death; and that she must pay for her existence by continuing to suffer until the inevitable death-by-monster occurs. Pretends that she only lives to spite PIRA who treats her like she has no further use beyond proverbial canon-fodder, because anyone with more self-respect would be outraged at that treatment. It’s one of many masks she wears, and this one is to cover up the fact that she thinks they’re right- but only about her. Only she is worthless. And that is how she is wrong.

Jay acts like an asshole with sarcasm, crude words, and aggressive behaviour (towards those she knows can take it) as a defence mechanism. It’s an effective in-your-face persona that distracts from the fact that she’s suicidal and has next to zero self-respect. A shield that hides how lonely she is. A wall that she secretly hopes someone will climb, or smash, or burrow under because underneath everything is a woman with a grain of hope that there is something in her worth saving as well - enough that even one person will fight. And the observant will because beyond her crafted persona that serves to isolate herself, she is highly empathetic and still cares. Because it’s not true that she works herself to the bone just fall into her grave that much sooner, even if that’s what she’s convinced herself is the truth. And it’s her actions that speak to that, silent, not to draw attention away from the facade. Jay Barrow underneath years of trauma and hopelessness is a woman who wants to save anything that can be saved.

Does she work past the misconceptions that are somewhat contradictory - that she is somehow simultaneously worthless and an irredeemable monster? There’s a small part of me that leans towards the catharsis-through-(fictional)-tragedy ending for Jay, which is very very rare for me. But! Ultimately the answer is yes, eventually she gets the support she needs and will be seen for her best? better? self; because luckily the people around her are highly perceptive, supernatural aids or not. But her recovery would realistically take a long time, most probably beyond the scope of the Tracker’s story Fids has planned.

[irispublishersagriculture]

Iris Publishers - World Journal of Agriculture and Soil Science (WJASS)

Effects of Calcium with and without Surfactants on Fruit Quality, Mineral Nutrient, Respiration and Ethylene Evolution of ‘Red Spur Delicious’ Apple

Authored by Esmaeil Fallahi

Foliar fertilization is a common practice to supply crops with mineral nutrients, especially under limited soil nutrient availability conditions [1]. However, foliar-applied nutrients must overcome the barrier properties of leaf surface to be absorbed by plants. Various pathways are reported to explain the penetration of foliar nutrients through the leaf tissues. Meanwhile, beveled that air humidity is one of the main controlling factors in this process since it controls both the actual nutrient concentration on the leaf surface [1] as the driving force of absorption and the permeability of the leaf surface. Postharvest and pre-bloom foliar nitrogen sprays are applied to enhance flower bud vigor, and calcium (Ca) is applied directly to fruit during the growing season to reduce fruit susceptibility to physiological disorders. The cuticle serves as the prime barrier to penetration of different solutes [2], and numerous studies have focused on cuticle structure, composition and penetration by components [3-6]. Epicuticular waxes are known to reduce cuticular penetration by a wide range of solutes [7]. However, growing evidence suggests that cracks might provide a pathway for Ca penetration into apple fruit [5, 8-10]. Therefore, modifying the epicuticular wax without altering its protecting properties may allow increased and more uniform Ca uptake. Surfactants alter energy relationships at interfaces, thereby reducing surface tension [11] and enhancing foliar absorption of biologically active compounds [12]. In this experiment, we studied the effect of calcium with and without two surfactants on fruit quality, fruit minerals, ethylene evolution and respiration of ‘Red Spur Delicious’ apple.

Materials and Methods

Eighteen years old ‘Red Spur Delicious’ apple trees on M.7 rootstock, planted at 3.65 x 6.71 m spacing at the University of Idaho Parma Research and Extension Center were used for this study. The experimental arrangement was a complete randomized design with four treatments, each with five single tree replications. Four different treatments in this experiment were as follows: control (no spray), Calcium (Ca) alone as 1.17% Calcium Metalosate) (v/v), 1.17% Calcium Metalosate plus 0.8% Regulaid (v/v), and 1.17% Calcium Metalosate plus 0.8% KALO surfactant (v/v).

For fruit mineral analysis, fruits were randomly sampled from each tree on October. Samples were washed with a mild solution of Ligui-Nox detergent (Alocnox, Inc., New York, NY), rinsed in deionized water. Each fruit was peeled and cut longitudinally to collect flesh and peel tissues. They were dried at 65 °C, and ground in a grinder (Cyclotec 1093, Teactor, Inc., Hoganas, Sweden) to pass through a 40-mesh screen. Nitrogen concentration of each sample was measured by LECO (FP-528, LECO Corp., St. Joseph, MI). The concentrations of calcium (Ca) and magnesium (Mg) were measured by atomic absorption spectrophotometry (Perkin-Elmer 1100 B, Norwalk, Connecticut) as described by Chaplin & Dixon [13].

To determine fruit qualities, fruits were harvested on October 3, weighed, and their color was rated visually on a scale of 1 = 20% pinkish-red progressively to 5 = 100% pinkish-red. Soluble solids concentrations (SSC) were measured by temperature-compensated refractometer (Atago N1, Tokyo, Japan). Fruit firmness was measured by Fruit Texture Analyzer (Guss, Strand, Western Cape, South Africa). After fruits were cut equatorially, they were dipped in I-KI solution and the starch degradation pattern (SDP) of each fruit was recorded by comparison with the SDP standard chart developed for apples [14].

To measure the effects of treatments on postharvest characteristics of fruits, apples were weighed and then placed in the closed chambers (Postharvest lab in Pomology Lab, Parma, Idaho) for 23 days. Each day, concentrations of evolved ethylene and carbon dioxide (respiration) were measured by Gas Chromatograph (Hewlett Packard 5890 Series II, Lionville, PA) using Flame Ionization Detector (FID) and a packed column (HayeSep Q, 80/100, Alltech Inc., Deerfield, IL). Data was analyzed by SAS statistical package and means were separated at 5% level, using LSD test [15]

Results and Discussion

Kalo surfactant did not have effects on any of the fruit quality attributes of ‘Red Spur Delicious’ apples (Table 1). Also, mineral concentrations of flesh and peel of the fruit had no statistically differences among treatments (Table 2)

 Fruits treated with 1.17% Calcium Metalosateplus 0.8% KALO/ surfactant had significantly lower respiration rates (Figure 1) and ethylene evolution (Figure 2) than those on other treatments. Since Ca absorption was not significantly affected by KALO surfactant, the respiration and ethylene differences cannot be due to Ca. By application of KALO surfactant, growers can postpone the harvest to obtain better fruit color without advancing fruit maturity. The reason of this phenomenon it is not clear and deserves further investigation. It is possible that KALO surfactant retards precursor compounds for ethylene synthesis, which is very interesting. This subject deserves further study as slowing ethylene and respiration can have a major positive impact on apple growers

 To read more about this article: https://irispublishers.com/wjass/fulltext/effects-of-calcium-with-and-without.ID.000598.php

Indexing List of Iris Publishers: https://medium.com/@irispublishers/what-is-the-indexing-list-of-iris-publishers-4ace353e4eee

Iris publishers google scholar citations: https://scholar.google.co.in/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=irispublishers&btnG=

[sebsallowapologist]

Pothos: 3

Thank you to everyone who continues to read and share what they think! Everyone enjoying it really makes me want to write more and more. 

Enjoy!

***

“So should I leave?” He asks and the blood drains out of my face. Surely I wasn’t strong enough to will him back if he decided to really leave again. “Why?” I choke out and the teasing smile stays plastered on his face, but behind the eyes he looks tortured, like he’s in pain.

“Traditionally a gentleman comes by to pick up his date for dinner, leaving her time to get ready. If I'm not mistaken, I am pretty rusty at this. Perhaps times have changed?” He asks and I bite my lip. “I don’t go on many dates, so I wouldn’t know. And we have so much catching up to do and it’s still early.” I breathe and he nods, leaning back in my dining room chair. How was my $12 Ikea plastic chair keeping this Greek god up?

“You’re right, we do have lots to talk about. So do you enjoy your job?” He asks with a smile and I shake my head. “You don’t?”

“No, I do. But don’t you think I deserve to go first, questions wise?” I ask and Edward’s lips become a tight line. “Ah. Yes, what are you curious about?”

“What have you been doing the past... seven years?” I asked. “Where did you go when you left?”

“I haven’t settled down anywhere. I spent some time in the South, then South America. All over.” He explains and I sigh, not the answer I was looking for. “What were you doing in all those places? Anything important?” I ask, when I really want to know if whatever he was doing was worth ripping me to shreds.

He doesn’t answer and I roll my eyes, moving to stand up from the table. I didn’t wait 7 years to be lied to, or have things hidden from me. “No. Don’t.” He says and lighty places his cool hand on top of mine. It feels like fire ran up my arm and I was waiting for a burn that didn’t come.

I sit back in my chair and he takes my hand in his, playing with my fingers, refusing to look up at me. “I was hunting- not for food but- I was hunting Victoria.”

“Victoria? As in James’ Victoria?” I ask and he nods, turning my hand over to look at the scar that James gave me, the scar I’d become so attached to. Proof of a world that had disappeared. “She did not take it well when I had to kill James, I read that in her mind and I was never sure- but I had to be certain she wasn’t coming after you.”

“Did you find her?” I ask and he shakes his head, chuckling. “Turns out I am a horrible tracker.” I doubt that. He wasn’t horrible at anything.

“So where is Carlisle? And Esme? Were they with you?” I ask and he shakes his head no, still playing with my fingers. “They’re in New York, upstate but close enough to the city for Carlisle to work at a major hospital. He loves the intensity. Esme loves the museums and Alice is going to FID.” He smiles and I nod. Yes. The forever young repeating high school and college over and over and over again.

“They miss you.” He tells me and I nod sadly, “I miss them too.” I missed being 17, I missed my old life with all of them in it. I missed being taken care of. “Why are you sad? Is your head alright?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah- Yeah I’m just- reminiscing I guess.” I sigh and finish my water.

“May I ask you some questions now?”

“Sure.” I give in, I was too overwhelmed. I couldn’t figure out which question I wanted to ask next.

“Why Los Angeles? Because it’s warm?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah, warm. Big city. I like the distractions.” I answer and he nods. “Do you like your job?” He asks and I blush. It was like him asking if I liked his gift.

“I like my job. Well I like writing, answering to people isn’t as fun but it pays the bills and I could be doing a lot worse.” I smile and he laughs a little. “My parents get your magazine sent to the house. They’re very proud of you.”

My breath catches in my throat. “They are?” Didn’t they know they’re the ones that bought me the job, bought my education too.

“Of course.” He breaths, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “Aren’t Charlie and Renee?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah of course they just don’t- know.” Don’t know that I never earned that job- never earned anything I’ve had myself.

“I’m proud of you too.” He says and I scoff a little, my eyes pricking with tears. “Don’t cry.” He begs and stands up from the table very slowly. He grabs my side and lifts me off the chair, giving me all the time in the world to tell him no as he sets me in his lap.

It’s cold and hard, and it should be uncomfortable, but he molds his body around mine to fit me perfectly. “Why does that make you sad?”

A lot of reasons, I was sad because until today I guess that he never thought about me, or thought about me much. I was sad because he didn’t seem to realize that his gifts, the things that made me a successful person, brought me so much pain. Pain in that I never earned them. Guilt because I was taking them from someone who so badly deserved it.

“I was really hoping that something had changed, and that I’d be able to read your mind now. I should have known better.” He smiles and I laugh a little, it’s horse and broken. “Thank god you can’t read my mind.” I smile and he smiles back at me, “I do wish you’d tell me what you’re thinking.” He begs and I bite my lip.

If he knew how ungrateful I was for what he’d done for me- he’d leave again. Who wouldn’t?

“Tell me what you’re thinking first.” That would buy me enough time to think of something else to say.

“What I’m thinking? Well I’m thinking a lot. I haven’t felt this whole in years- so I’m celebrating that. You’ve somehow gotten more beautiful. I didn’t know that was possible.” He smiles and I feel the blood rush to my face. “Ah- even more so. You might be out of my league now.” he smiles and brushes his hand over my cheek. “I got old.” I mumble and he shakes his head.

“You’re 25, that is very far from old.”

“I’m older than Carlisle.” I remind him and Edward rolls his eyes. “No you’re not.”

I laugh a little and use some courage to brush his hair out of his face. “Now what are you thinking?”

“I’m just overwhelmed.” I sigh, which wasn’t a lie. “I’m so- I haven’t been this happy in a very long time. But I’m scared, I'm hurt. I’m a little mad. But I don’t even know if this is all real. It’s truly a lot for my little human brain.” I joke. I catch another cringe. God I hated seeing him so hurt over what’s become of me.

“Would you like to yell at me? Perhaps beat me up a little?” He asks, trying to keep it light.

“Ha! Well I have been taking boxing lessons.” I tell him and he looks surprised. “You have?”

“Mmhm. Charlie got real nervous when I went to UCLA and he begged. I did it to make him happy but I figured out that I really like punching things.” I smile.

Turns out, this is the funniest thing that Edward’s ever heard. He lets out a bellowing laugh and holds me tight as he curls over a little. “What!?” I ask and he shakes his head, trying to stop laughing. “It’s just- I can’t picture it.”

“Hey!” I huff a little offended. “I don’t have super human strength, excuse me, but I could hold my own.”

“I’d like to see that.” Edward smiles. I giggle a little at him. That settles and he taps my outer thigh with his hand. “So what would you like to eat tonight?”

“There's this Taco place that's really good around the block.” I tell him and he shakes his head. “No, I would like to take you somewhere nice. Alice sent me here with a suit. I think I have to use it.”

I roll my eyes at my former best friend. Sent him with a suit. Stupid “Well it’s Saturday. Anywhere good is going to be booked up.” I tell him and he shakes his head. “That's not a problem, where would you like to eat?”

Oh he thinks he can just take me anywhere? This was LA this wasn’t Forks. He couldn’t possibly just get a table wherever. “The Nice Guy.” I smile. A little challenge.

“Wonderful. What type of food is that?”

“Italian.” I laugh and he smiles. “Everything comes full circle doesn’t it?” It really did. “I should be going, I have to go get that suit and I should give my date time to get ready.”

My color leaves my face again. “You don’t have to do that. You can stay.”

“Bella.” He breathes and stands us up, placing his hand on my face. “I promise I’m coming back.”

“What if you don’t?” I ask. Because, god. What if this was just a wellness check? I couldn’t handle that. “Bella.” He makes my name sound like honey. “I came back because I couldn’t live another day without you in my life. I promise I am coming back.”

I guess if he did he did- and if he didn’t he didn’t- and I was going to have to deal with it either way. “Alright.” I sigh. He leans forward and places his cool lips on my forehead. “I’ll be back at 8:00, my Bella.” And just like that, he’s gone.

***

If Edward was going to come back, I was going to give him something that made him want to keep coming back. I was no longer the pubescent teenage girl I was when I knew him. I was older now, for better or for worse. I had a few gray hairs that most humans couldn’t see- but I’m sure he saw them, and I had a small wrinkle on the right side of my mouth.  

But I had curves now, and I finally knew how to dress. Alice would be so proud at my small but well thought out closet. I got rid of the idea that dressing nicely and wearing make up was a sign of weakness and had fun with it.

I had one nice dress- my close the deal dress. Black with thin straps, it went to just above my knees but it hugged every curve I had. I kept the hair and make up simple, doing what I knew how, curl my hair and do some basic make up. Tonight wasn’t the night to try something new.

At 7:45 there was a knock at my door and my heart jumped into my throat. Oh thank god. I slip my black heels on. “Coming!” I rush to the door, throwing it open without bothering to look at the peephole. The anxiety I’d felt since he left melts away and I’m just standing in awe of him, of all his glory as he stands in my doorway holding a dozen roses.

“I said you didn’t have to get me flowers.” I laugh and he shakes his head. “I’m speechless.” He breathes and I smile. “Speechless, huh?” Never heard him speechless before, that's for damn sure.

“You look-” He just blinks. “There's not a word in any language I know that properly describes how you look.” he says and I shrug. “Good I hope?”

He scoffs, “Good doesn’t even begin to describe it.” I blush and take the flowers from him, walking to my kitchen to put them in some water.

Once I’m done with that I grab my phone and my purse and smile. “Should I call an uber?” I ask and he shakes his head, “I came prepared.” I hold my hands up in defeat. “Alright, let’s go to The Nice Guy with no reservation.” I tease.

“We have a reservation.”

“You’re- wild.” I laugh and follow him out the door. I turn around to lock up and when I look back up Edward’s standing on the curb, holding the door open to a very fancy car. “You know this is a city, people have eyes around here.” I warn and walk to the car. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiles and holds out his hand to help me into the car.

An Aston Martin. Wow. He’s in the driver’s seat before I can finish a thought about the impressive car.

I didn’t forget what an insane drive Edward was, but I think my memories had dulled the intensity of it. We weaved in and out of cars on the busy street and I start to rethink honking at every douchebag who’d ever cut me off in an expensive car. Were they vampires too or just stupid humans?

I grab the door and Edward laughs a little. “I forgot you drive like we’re 30 minutes late for something.” I breathe and he smiles. “We’re not late, I just don’t like wasting time.”

“Wasting time with things like speed limits and red lights. Got it.” I breathe and he chuckles, “You’re so funny.”I want to tell him to look at the road but I know it would fall on deaf ears.

We make it to the valet at the restaurant and the man opens the door for me while Edward walks around the car at a human pace. He walks up to the hostess and smiles. “Cullen.” He tells her and she nods, looking him up and down. I was having insane flashbacks, but at least this time I knew I was hotter than the hostess at the front stand. So at least we were off to a better start self-esteem wise.

She leads us to a table near the back and Edward makes a show about pulling my chair out for me. I had only been on a few dates in my life, but of course Edward blew them all out of the water. He picks up the menu and I giggle a little bit, “What?” He asks and I shake my head. “Nothing. What looks good?” I ask and he shrugs. “I was looking over the wine list, what were you thinking about ordering for your meal? We can get a bottle that pairs well.”

“We do not need to order a bottle of wine.” I laugh. “I can order a glass.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t like to get fall down drunk when I go on dates with an ex-boyfriend, and I assume you won’t be drinking with me.” I smile and he nods. “A glass or two it is.” He smiles “You know I’ve been drunk before.” He smiles, proud of himself and I gasp, “Edward Cullen? Drunk?”

“Yes. My seventeenth birthday I stole some of my father’s whiskey. I can’t say I remember much else.” He chuckles and I smile. “I can’t picture it.” I shake my head and he nods. “Did you smoke pot in the 70s too?” I ask and he shakes his head no with a laugh.

I liked keeping it light, we had so much to talk about but I knew all the heavy topics were going to do nothing but hurt me, so while I could I was going to stay in the light.

The waitress comes by and asks for our order. “I’ll take the chicken with a glass of the beaujolais.” I smile and hand her my menu. “I will do the mushroom ravioli with a glass of the same.” He says with a smirk in my direction and she nods, writing it down, taking our menus.

“Aren’t you supposed to drink white wine with chicken?” He asks and I roll my eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to drink blood?” I counter and he nods with pursed lips. “Touché, but the pasta is for you, I couldn’t not order something, it would be rude.”

“So rude.” I tease and he chuckles a little.

[aimfor-theheart]

Coin toss rant bc it was so good but so painful. I binged it yesterday and it still haunts me bruv. So many questions that have tragic answers.!!.!BC WHY FID SHE FEEL MORE COMFORT NOT BEING HERSELF AND SACRIFICING HER TRUTH TO BE A HERO. Being sacrificed and taken advantage of?? to have a true home ig? Like ik why but it hurts. I saw it as her knowing that they (hero side) love her conditionally but being ok w that. But whyyyyy. Like tomura was offering her the world and she so obviously wanted it but felt wrong for wanting it!?:!.$:$ the bottle breaking scene was like the clearest thing bro she knew she wanted to destroy the system but she couldn’t accept herself like that ig. I cried. I’m crying. And they so obviously loved each other. I hate that she left him. She understood all the villains so well as people but sacrificed her relationship w them to be w something more socially and probably mentally comfortable. Ugh. She deserves sm better 💔💔 I HATE TOMURA FOR DECAYING THE HOMEWBDBBDBSS I’m feeling rn. But seriously one of the best series I’ve ever read on here. You’re insanely talented and I can’t wait to see more from you even tho my chest aches rn.

i mean!!! a lot of those questions are defs up for you to interpret!! i guess i was coming from the angle of like—sometimes conditional love is good for us, ya know? it keeps us trying to be better, honest, kind people! that is, imo, the harder choice the reader ends up making in that one! but you’re right ab a lot of this, tomura would give her the world! and she kinda did want it!! the empathy she has for villains could easily allow her to become one, but it also makes her a good hero, being able to empathize with others, even villains! it was a really tricky ending for me to write for all the things you’ve brought up!!

but thank you so much 🥺🥺 thank you for reading and thank you for coming by to rant in my inbox ab it!! it means a lot to me and just makes my day to see this!! thank you!! 💕💕

[cawcawpeasants]

Hello, i hope you have a good day ! I read your post for really sad scenario and, sorry in advance for your poor heart, could you do, please, a scenario with Fuegoleon who have to accepts that Nozel is dead because he disappears in a mission two months ago ? And he comes back a little times after that in the house ? And act like if all was normal ? (I actually don't know if you're going to find it sad, but me yes, maybe because i'm hyper sensitive XD )

First of all: Q.Q

Second of all: Sorry for the long wait, real life kicked my ass.

Third of all:

It isalways difficult to adapt to changes. The extremer they are, the harder it isto uphold normality.

Sometimespeople start to take up to new habits to try to do so.

As forLeon, he started to stay up late, staring out into the night, counting thestars, hoping to find something new.

Also, hemade a habit out of lighting a few lamps on the outside before he heads to bed,making it easier to land at night.

Other thenthat he sucked up every kind of information, every rumour, every lead thatwould lead him to his goal.

Finding outwhat happened two months ago.

At first,it was all he could think of, driven by immense guilt and grief. He neglectedhis works, his looks, his life.

“How can Ineglect it, if my life was taken from me?” He’d answer to all who came to scoldhis behaviour.

He was seton finding it again

Finding himagain.

NozelSilva, his partner, his significant other, who disappeared 2 months ago withoutanybody knowing where he went. It was supposed to be a dungeon conquering mission,probably taking some time, eventually dangerous. Reports came back in steady rhythmsfrom the Captain, but suddenly nothing. All contact broke off and nobody couldfind any trace of them.

The publicthinks of him as dead. Deceased in the line of work.

At firstLeon fought them publicly, he believed in his lover’s strength and abilities.He couldn’t believe that people could ever think of something like that.

Then he startedto get anxious. Weeks went by without a word. Nozel disappeared into thin air,not even Julius was able to make him out. It was like his Mana left theKingdom, and all the others, too. He was still hoping for Nozel to come back,to just land at their home and be there.

He wastired and at the same time restless, he couldn’t fall asleep without thefamiliar body next to him. He couldn’t go about his days the same without thesnarky remarks, the little tiffs and spats, the intelligent eyes, the raresmiles.

He couldn’tstand human interaction at this point. He felt judged and pitied wherever hewent, so he relieved all personnel of their service for an undetermined amountof time.

A monthwent by, and books about eagles started to collect dust. He felt like he did,too, so he started to take up his work again.

Another weekpassed, and he started to collect the Silvas left behind clothes and storedthem, so they wouldn’t be eaten by moths.

Anotherweek, he was barely there at the meeting of the captains, where they discussedwho would take over the order of the silver eagles.

Anotherweek, and a proposal from the House of Silva came in, asking him if he wouldlike to help planning the former Heads funeral. If he would like to hold theobituary.

About twomonths had went by since all contact to Nozel Silva had vanished, and Leon wasadapting to his life without him. He wasn’t happy nor that hopeful, and he couldn’tleave the letter with the proposal left unanswered much longer. But still…

He wasstill going out to the roofs, looking out for a sign that Nozel would come back,like he did in his dreams. He was still lighting the lamps, so Nozel could safelyland when he would come home.

His heartstill hurt when he tried to fall asleep without him.

The peoplearound him were trying to talk him out of these new things, they wanted him tobe normal, like he was before. He understood their concern, but he couldn’t letgo entirely.

Well, atleast so he thought.

Anotherweek went by and he caught himself slipping. He neglected the lights and staredat the proposal longer. He was intently pondering about what to do, whatdecisions to make.

He did soright now.

He sighedand leaned back. His eyes were strained from reading the letter for what musthave been the 1000th time already. He knew every word by heard, butit did not lighten the weight of its message. His own family had given theirhopes up, and they wanted to move on already.

He wasn’t surehow long thy were going to wait for him to be likeminded, but he did know thathe would never forgive himself if he wouldn’t honour his beloved by beingpresent at his funeral.

This would be so much easier, if Nozel were hereto give me advice…

He blamed thesudden burning in his eyes on the strain. He had cried enough for a lifetime inthe last two months, especially given that he wasn’t build that close to thewater.

He took adeep breath.

It’s time to decide.

Over two months no signs, no messages…

But also, no bodies found

He could be alive, but isn’t it more likelythat he’s dead?

He would have come back to us… to me.

This will never come to a conclusion, will it?So, I should be so kind and offer his family, his knights, his kingdoms andeven myself an end to this painful hoping. They deserve their peace, as doeshe.

In the morning, I willanswer the Silvas.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

He hadn’t realized,he’d fallen asleep in his office chair, so he was confused at the uncommonsurroundings when he woke up.

Than heremembered why he had woken up in the first place.

Theentrance door fell into the lock.

There wheresounds coming from the ground floor, and Leons heart started beating.

There stillwas no staff, he was the only living being in the building at the moment, Mereowas out in the woods still and Leo had to be at the order. It was long pastcurfew.

Well, asidefrom the worlds most stupid robber, it seems.

Who thinks of breaking into the house of acaptain while he’s still there? Do people really think of me as so vulnerableright now? Well, I will show them what happens when you wake a lion.

He silentlyfollowed the noise and found the source currently wreaking havoc in the kitchen.At least it sounded like that.

He took hisgrimoire out and started to look for an appropriately intimidating spell, thatwould not damage his furniture too much.

He thenentered the kitchen.

He was metwith a mess, ripped open packages, open drawers, a robbed fridge.

He made outa pair of legs in ripped clothing rummaging through the cupboard where theteacups were stored, upper body and head hidden behind the opened door. The burglarjust continued looking through his stuff without a care in the world.

Leon felt nerveson his forehead twitch in irritation.

‘You haveten seconds to explain your presence here. And also, what exactly are you doinghere right now?’ He all but yelled at the busy bee trying to fid somethingworthy to steal.

Themovements halted, then a head looked out behind the door.

It wasfamiliar, even though it lacked the usual hairstyle.

‘Well, asfar as I can remember, I live here, but that doesn’t seem to account foranything, because I also remember employing servants, but apparently none ofthem are here right now. Due to that I am making myself a sandwich and some tea,but I cannot find my favourite cup it seems. You wouldn’t remember seeing itanywhere, no?’

Leon juststared at him in shock.

Nozel wasthere, while he was supposed to be dead

And he’s looking for a teacup?! 

Unable toreact appropriately to all the annoyance and confusion and happiness inside of him, he took a seat at the ruined kitchentable.

‘Leon, haveyou seen my cup now? Leon?’

He can’t be real. This is just my brain messingwith me because I can’t handle the fact that he’s dead.

He felt awarm hand on his shoulder. He looked up and was met with the concerned face ofhis dead Love. He grew a stubble.

‘Dear, areyou okay? You look awfully pale. Do you want me to call a doctor?’

This is my mind telling me I’m needing help,isn’t it?

He smiledat the familiar features and wanted to run a hand over them, wanting them to bereal, but he was afraid he would wake up from his sweet nightmare.

‘I havegone mad, I am afraid. Are you my consciousness?’

Nozel furrowedhis brows.

‘A doctorit is then. I shall go fetch one first thing in the morning, but right now youshould go to bed. Maybe you can sleep it off, whatever it is.’

‘You can’tsleep when you are already dreaming. You should know that, we share a brain.’

TheNozel-who-couldn’t-be-Nozel took a step back.

‘Or I’ll goget a doctor right now. But nice to know that I am an object of your dreams. ’

Nozel grabbedone of the things he called sandwiches and started to eat. Leon couldn’t believethis normal, well nearly normal, sight.

‘Of course,I have dreamed of you. For two months now, maybe more. Even before that, if I amhonest, but those were dreams of a different nature. The last dreams were allabout you being exactly like you are right now. Home, Alright, Uninjured andjust…not dead…I-‘

Leon’svoice broke and he felt tears well up. This was just cruel.

Nozel stoppedeating his monstrosity and looked up in confusion.

‘What do youmean I am dead?’

Fuegoleonlooked back at him, equally confused. Nozel went over to him, now slightlyirritated.

‘I asked,what do you mean, when you say that I am dead.’

‘Well, thatyou are dead. You disappeared two months ago while being on that Dungeonmission, and nobody could find any remains of you, nor a sign that you werealive. You were declared weeks ago. I- I was asked to hold a speech at your funeral.And now I am imagining you being here to deal with the fact that you are longgone.’

Nozelsshock and disbelief at his current official status was plain to see on hisface, but he also was hurt, seeing his partner at such a loss.

He softlycupped the Vermillions face.

‘So if I amdead-‘ he said while inching his face closer to Leons ‘-how come I can do this?’

And then hekissed him, showing him how much he missed him and just how very, very real hewas.

When he drewback to catch his breath he looked at Leons face. The latter hadn’t opened hiseyes yet, but Nozel could make out the tears caught in the eyelashes, and hehad the urge to kiss them away.

So he did.

The administrationson his face filled Leon with a warmth he thought he had lost forever.

‘What- Whathappened? Why did you take so long?’ He asked quietly.

Nozel, whohad halfway crawled into his lap already, still caressed his face while he toldLeon about his mission.

‘Well, itwas a normal Dungeon. It took me about two weeks to reach it, and a bit less toget back here, it was very well hidden in one of the grand magic zones. I justwanted to step into the entrance hall to get a feel for the place, but apparently,I fell victim to a spell cast on it. I stepped in in broad daylight, felt themana of the place and went out again, only to find that it was already night-time.Then I decided that this was either a time manipulating or mind-altering magic,so I headed back here to talk over my findings with the emperor. This sort of spellis way too dangerous to deal with alone. But, as I promised you, I wanted tocome home first, eat something, check up on you, all that. And here you are,thinking I am dead and telling me the one day I thought I lost-‘

‘Wasactually nearly two months.’ Finished Leon the sentence.

Nozel feltLeon’s arms sneak around his middle, pressing him close in a make-shift hug. Helooked at the head pressed against his stomach and smiled. That must have beenquite a hellish experience for his man. He didn’t want to think of what he hadbeen going through, thinking he was dead and all.

Reminds me…

‘Hey Leon, howdid everybody react to my death? I am kind of curious.’

He got noanswer.

‘Leon?’

A trademarksnore erupted from the sleeping man, who still had him in his clutches. Nozeltried to loosen the Grip, but it had the opposite effect. So, he settled to takinga more comfortable seat and wait for him to wake up. He kissed the top of theother’s head.

He must have been very tired.

Better to let him sleep.

Then heyawned.

I should, too.

[underthebluerain]

Watched Thor: Ragnarok yesterday. Some of it I liked, some of it I loved, most of it was a mess, some of it I hated. The things I loved made me really emotional and saved it from being a wholly bad experience. The things I hated are the reason I am really glad I didn’t spend money on it.

Fair warning, this "review” is as messy and disjointed as the film. Also long.

-The moment the movie started with Thor’s monologue it was clear it was 100% off tone with the Thor universe. Like what.

-The first woman we saw in Thor was Jane Foster doing scientific research. The first women we see in Ragnarok are two unnamed fanservice extras who are presumably skurge’s conquests and are there for the guy to show off to, with barely any lines, no important role and (I think) never seen again. Just a thought.

-I will admit, I did fid some moments funny and genuinely enjoyed them. Others were just ridiculous, a sign they completely ignored the kind of story and especially characters they were showing. And the moments that should’ve been dramatic but that were played in a funny way, even worse. Like Thor and Loki’s reunion. Thor thought he was dead, again. Honestly. Take away all the emotional depth why don’t you. (Yeah I still laughed but it was a Robbed Angst Moment).

-Not to be That Guy but... Loki’s in-universe The Dark World play has Lady Sif and the Warriors Three in a bigger role than they had in it (since they are present at Svartalfheim) and also has Jane in it so 1) it’s keeping both Sif and Jane UNLIKE THIS MOVIE and 2) how shitty is that the in-play acknowledges these characters and the film proper doesn’t. I am so tired of Marvel’s self-referential “haha let’s lampshade the fact that the women are missing but not actually do anything to remedy it!” also unashamedly used in AOU and Antman.

-The bit they showed us about the play I liked in general though, it had plenty of Bro Feels. And Odin!Loki mouthing “I didn’t do it for him” lol but also aww. Also interesting that Sif and the W3 were included (just like in his deleted TDW imagining. He really wants Thor’s friends to like him damn) worried about him and Sif was sent to get help...?? They are not helping me forget about sifki tbh

-Also I shouldn’t be surprised that something serious like Loki’s origins was mentioned only to be funny but like... what?? He seriously decided to let everyone know?? Really?? And is this play seriously how he decided to do it?? When was this?? Was everyone chill with it?? When did he become cool with it?? 

-Was Jotun!Loki called a blue icicle or did I hallucinate that

-Literally the only mention of Jane is of how she dumped Thor and him saying he dumped her instead. Besides Jane being missing, several reasons why this is shitty: 1) again, only one mention of her in the entire film 2) the only mention has her referred to only insofar as her relationship or lack thereof with Thor goes 3) Thor wouldn’t be trying to save face regarding the breakup, he’d just be sad about it 4) it isn’t a good enough reason to have her missing, fuck you.

-Thor to Strange: “Who are you and why should I care” lmao same

-Hela being Odin’s daughter is so out of left field. The backstory regarding her helping Odin win the realm even more so. What?? Just what??

-On the other hand, nice to see the fishiness about Odin and Asgard’s treatment of other realms acknowledged as shitty. But they still had Odin’s only scenes  being good to his sons...?

-I am conflicted about Hela’s design because on the one hand I am gay and find it sexy but on the other I kind of resent they gave her the Black Skintight Catsuit™ of Sexy Female Characters.

-The W3 didn’t deserve those sudden deaths and Thor didn’t deserve to not find out about them.

-I SO loved Thor and Loki’s interactions. I'VE MISSED THEM SO MUCH

-The mural with the family was nice. I didn’t like how frigga was depicted lower than her husband (and this even though she’s taller...) and looking at him/the ground while the men are looking forward, but it does make sense given Asgard’s sexism (as established in other movies, because apparently now they have an all-women army. Ok then why was Sif being the only female warrior a big deal?? Answer: this movie doesn’t give a shit about continuity)

-So... Odin was ashamed of how he got the realm... but he still made a hugeass mural about it??

-I do like hearing Odin get called out. also Odin manipulated history, who else isn’t surprised?

-Again with the humour being used to reference a tragic past event: Loki’s apparently telling the Sakaar gang (whom he barely knows) about how he let go of the Bifrost. As if it’s a funny anecdote. They all laugh. What.

-Just let Hulk stay there and rot Thor

-Hulk is an asshole, I didn’t need more reasons to hate him but they gave them to me

-They didn’t just made an AOU reference they actually had the gall to show me ooc!nat and fucking brutasha AGAIN EW EW EW WHY FUCK aaand I officially hate Taika Waititi. I am SO glad I didn’t go see this movie in a theatre can you imagine giving more money to be traumatised with the same shit again omg

-Lmao they literally threw in a line in just to give Banner more degrees than Jane, Phd’s actually, so his are more important right? The male ego truly is astounding

-I thought we’d see more of Valkyrie’s backstory and her grudge against Hela, but at least we got something. Also her name wasn’t revealed?? Was it in the credits? She is cool though. I liked that her introduction was not at all dignified (falling off the ship bc she’s drunk? lol. Wasn’t expecting it tbh) but she got her dignity back. I’ve seen it mentioned that her story of “badass warrior leaves after traumatic battle and becomes jaded drunk who pretends not to care about anything but eventually finds it in herself to come back and fight for what’s right” is a story usually reserved for men and it’s great that she got it.

-I feel so defeated that Asgard had to be destroyed.

-The rock alien was quite funny.

-Thor has literally lost his home, his girlfriend, his mother, his father, several of his friends (not that anyone told him) and his fucking eye give this boy a fucking break

-Thank god Thor didn’t end up believing Loki was dead again bc I would’ve gone there and killed him myself tbh

-I think one of my main problems with the film is that I actually enjoyed the adventure, some of the humour and few emotional moments, but it ignored and/or glossed over so much that was important that it’s not as gut-wrenching as its predecessors. To sum up: this movie was a good fic, but not a good enough Thor movie, you get me? Especially given how this is probably the very last Thor movie.

-Even without watching the Infinity Wars trailer it’s obvious Loki’s taken the Tesseract you little shit. I hope Thor knows and is like “take it out let’s see what we do with it hmm?”

-Fuck, I really enjoyed Loki and Thor’s relationship in this movie. On the one hand, the movie robbed them of several emotional moments (Thor finding out Loki’s alive, their reunion, a longer confrontation), but on the other the humour gave them several great scenes of sibling banter and backstory that I loved so much (even if some of it didn’t make sense like the snake anecdote: cute, funny but nonsensical). And despite the movie’s light tone not fitting with the other films’, I... feel like it did kinda fit their relationship here? The film made it work. I still wish we’d gotten more emotional scenes and arguing and angst, but I did like to see that it’s been quite some time since their grievances and that has sort of caused them to cool over a bit, so things are calmer, lighter. And that allows Loki to act less like a “I’m gonna betray you” (which is still there, but he doesn’t play it up so much), and above all allows Thor to say, “look, this has been fucked up for a few years, I don’t think trying to stay together will work”. Which I think is both sincere and reverse psychology. Sincere because Thor has been through a lot of pain and he knows Loki has too, so he doesn’t think he can handle having Loki there but not being able to trust him, and if Loki wants out he’s not gonna force him to stay. And reverse psychology because he’s hoping so bad that he’ll want to stay, that he’ll choose to. Freely. And he knows that the only way he will make a free choice is if he thinks Thor has made his and that it’s to stop pursuing him. I AM EMOTIONAL

-AND LOKI DID COME BACK TO HELP AND THOR FUCKING BELIEVED HE WOULD OKAY

- “IF YOU WERE REALLY HERE I MIGHT HUG YOU” “I’M HERE” GFHXKCJDLKLXKS

-WHAT THE FUCK WHERE IS MY HUG

-AND THEY DID END THE MOVIE TOGETHER SIDE BY SIDE WITH THOR AS KING AND LOKI AS ADVISOR AND GOING TO EARTH AND FACING WHATEVER DANGER IS COMING TOGETHER AND I AM VERY EMOTIONAL OKAY

[petstutorial]

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NUTRO Ultra Dog Food Benefits The formulation of the NUTRO foods is for the overall wellbeing and health of the dog. Some of the recipes have formulations specifically for certain health conditions that include the health of the coat and the dog’s skin. Others are formulated for weight control and the health of the joints while others take care of the dog’s sensitivity to certain ingredients. The health benefits of the food are Promoting a healthy skin and coat Promoting strong bones and teeth Promoting stronger muscles Promoting leaner body mass Improving the digestion system Top Products Of NUTRO Ultra Below are some of the most popular recipes from the Ultra-dog food blends NUTRO Ultra Dry Dog Food – For Adult Dogs [amazon box="B006HKBWBI" grid="1"] Every dog deserves to enjoy god and nutritious food just as much as you do because a healthy dog is a happy dog. With NUTRO ULTRA Adult Dry Dog Food, you can rest assured that your dog will not only get a nutritious diet but will not have to compromise on taste too because everything is top quality. The recipe contains ingredients that nourish and satisfy the dog at all times. This particular recipe is one of the most popular dry foods or Adult Dogs. Ingredients The first major ingredient in the recipe is real chicken accompanied by other high quality and nutrient rich proteins. The second major ingredient is chicken meal and the third is brown rice. the other important ingredients in the recipe are brewers rice, rice bran, lamb meal, chicken fat, salmon meal, natural flavor, sunflower oil, oatmeal, flaxseeds, pea protein, chia seed, tomato pomace, beet pulp, kale and selenium yeast among many others. The meal contains no chicken by products, soy, corn or wheat. It is also free from artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and fillers. The high quality protein ingredients have a good flavor and they are tasty which makes it easier for the dogs to enjoy every bowl. The ingredients contain all the food nutritional values that a dog would need which include, omega 3 fatty acids, soluble fiber, vitamins, dietary fiber, minerals, natural yeast and proteins. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/31qu2AQ" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] NUTRO Ultra Puppy Dog Food – For Puppies Aged 12 Months And Below [amazon box="B005VSUTDY" grid="1"] The puppy recipe from NUTRO food is another holistic super food that contains a quality mixture of lean protein ingredients. Besides the proteins, the recipe also contains vegetables healthy oils, whole grains and antioxidant rich fruits that all blend well to give the puppies the strength they need for good growth. Formulated for growing Puppies aged 12 months and below, the recipe meets all AAFCO set nutritional levels for all the dogs’ life stages. The lean proteins in the recipe provide the body with amino acids that help to promote lean, strong muscles. The whole grains in the recipe help to promote a healthy digestive system that helps in proper absorption of nutrients, the fat and proteins in the recipe help to promote the energy levels of the growing puppies. The recipe also contains antioxidants that help to maintain the puppy’s immune system, improve the brain and keep the puppy’s heart strong at all times. It also contains calcium that ensures the bones and teeth grow as strong and healthy. The recipe contains no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives as all the ingredients are natural. Ingredients The main ingredient in the meal is chicken and the other notable ingredients are chicken meal, brewers rice, whole brown rice, chicken fat, rice bran, oatmeal, lamb meal, pea protein, potato protein, natural flavor, fish oil, flaxseed, beet pulp, salmon meal, sunflower oil, dried coconut, blueberries, spinach, dried carrots, rosemary extract, vitamin D3 supplement and many others. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/32yunTi" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] NUTRO Ultra Senior Dry Dog Food – For Senior Dogs [amazon box="B006TJVNXO" grid="1"] Aging Senior Dogs need nutritious food just like other dogs. Even with age, dogs are still very active and in order to keep them strong and healthy, all their meals should contain high quality ingredients rich in nutrients, vitamins and minerals. NUTRO Ultra senior dry dog food provides senior dogs with all the nutrients they need and much more. With every bite of the senior dog recipe, the dog gets a radiant skin and a likewise radiant coat. The recipe also ensures that the senior dogs keep growing and maintain strong muscles and a strong immune system. The ingredients of the recipe also ensure that the senior dogs maintain healthy joints and a sharp vision. The meal is ideal for dogs with the age of five years and above. Ingredients The main ingredients in the recipe are chicken, lamb meal, chicken meal, whole brown rice, rice bran, brewers rice and salmon meal. other notable ingredients are natural flavor, whole grain oatmeal, pea protein, dried beet pulp, chicken fat, whole flaxseed, fish oil, sunflower oil, dried egg product, dried coconut, tomato pomace, dried coconut, blueberries, spinach, dried apples, rosemary extract, folic acid, vitamin supplements and many more. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/32vMTeZ" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] NUTRO Ultra Dry Food- For Small Breeds Adults [amazon box="B005KSOXJG" grid="1"] Small Dogs need as much nutrients as all the other dog types. The main recipe for the smaller dogs contains easy to chew kibbles made especially for them. This Nutro ultra small breed dog food contains a rich and quality blend of proteins and superfoods. The small dog food is also one of the highest quality kibble for dogs. The high quality ingredients provide the dog with a complete balanced nutrition that promotes quality growth and body strength. The recipe contains no chicken by products no corn, no soy and no wheat. It is also free from artificial preservatives, flavors and color. The recipe has an unforgettable taste and flavor that the dogs love and after feeding them with this diet, you will enjoy to see the benefits. Ingredients The formulation of ingredients in this recipe targets small dogs with large personalities. The premium kibble recipe features a trio of proteins obtained from chicken, lamb and salmon. The first major ingredient in the recipe is chicken. Other notable ingredients in the recipe are chicken meal, brewers rice, whole brown rice, rice bran, chicken fat, lamb meal, and salmon meal. The other notable ingredients are 15 superfoods that include sunflower oil, whole grain oatmeal, pea protein whole flaxseed, dried plain beet pulp and natural flavor. Other ingredients are niacin supplement, dried spinach, dried kale, pumpkin and blueberries, dried carrots vitamin e supplements and many more. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/33IWrna" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] NUTRO Ultra Large Breed  Puppy Dry Dog Food [amazon box="B005KSOXBO" grid="1"] Ultra Large Puppies feed more than the smaller puppies and there is need to give them a meal that has ingredients that build their large bodies with ease. This particular blend from NUTRO Ultra specially formulated for large puppy dogs contains wholesome natural ingredients that provide the dog with stronger muscles, a stronger immune system, a healthy coat and skin and a better cognitive development. The recipe contains among other ingredients DHA, which helps with the dog’s cognitive development. The all-natural large puppy recipe features proteins, vibrant superfoods and other essential and quality ingredients that help to promote healthy growth and brain development. Ingredients Tailored to cope with the large puppy appetites, this recipe features a trio of quality proteins obtained from chicken, lamb and salmon. The first major ingredient is chicken, formulated specifically for larger puppies. High quality ingredients make the dog kibble balanced and easy to chew. Other notable ingredients in the recipe are chicken meal, whole brown rice, rice bran, brewers rice, whole grain oatmeal, chicken fat, lamb meal and salmon meal. Other ingredients are pea protein, natural flavor, sunflower oil, dried plain beet pulp, dried flaxseed, fish oil, potato protein, dried egg, coconut, kale, pumpkin, blueberries, apples, carrots and spinach. The recipe also contains tomato pomace, whole chia seeds, niacin supplement, vitamin e supplements and many more ingredients. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/2qqasHX" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] Nutro Ultra Toy Breed Adult [amazon box="B007CRDSV2" grid="1"] Many people love the pint sized Toy Breed of Dogs. They come with a certain appeal that even kids love. They are playful, very active and so full of life. Small breed dogs also have needs that are more special than those of larger breed dogs are. the Ultra-toy breed adult dry food takes care of the pint size dogs nutritional needs by providing them with a recipe made up of quality all natural ingredients. The recipe features three lean proteins that help to promote the dog’s muscles. The dog kibble is of the highest quality and the recipe contains no artificial preservatives, flavors or color. It does not contain wheat soy or corn. Ingredients The trio of proteins in the recipe is chicken, lamb and salmon with chicken being the first major ingredient. Other ingredients in the mix are vibrant superfoods of chia seeds, dried kale, blueberries, spinach, apples, pumpkin, carrots, coconut, and egg. Others are tomato pomace, citric acid, sunflower oil, whole brown rice, rice bran, whole grain oatmeal, whole flaxseed, chicken meal, lamb meal, salmon meal, dried plain beet pulp vitamin e supplements, selenium yeast and niacin supplement among many others. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/2J4T4PA" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] NUTRO Ultra Weight Management Adult Dry Dog Food [amazon box="B006HKAEO4" grid="1"] Some dogs just like some humans have weight problems. For dogs, weight problems occur when they do not get enough exercises or feed too much. Just as being overweight is a health concern for humans, it is a health concern for dogs too. Dogs can develop problems such as breathing and arthritis due to being overweight. It is therefore of the utmost importance that you provide your dog with Weight Management diets to ensure that they live a healthy life. NUTRO Ultra weight management adult dog food is one of the best products in the market for weight loss the recipe of the food contains high quality proteins that also feature 15 vibrant superfoods. The grain free recipe comes with an amazing flavor that make every mealtime a joyous occasion for the dog. The ingredients are non-GMO, contain no artificial preservatives, flavors or color and they come with balanced nutritional value. Ingredients The trio of the main ingredients contains chicken, lamb and salmon with chicken being the main ingredient. The recipe contains high quality chewable kibbles that are easy to digest. other notable ingredients in the rich blend of ingredients is chicken meal, lamb meal, salmon meal, rice bran, whole brown rice, brewers rice, whole grain oatmeal, natural flavor and chicken fat. Others are pea protein, sunflower oil, flaxseed, beet pulp, dried blueberries, supplements, rosemary extract and many more. [su_button url="https://amzn.to/2P0zesv" target="blank" style="default" background=" #fe8d2e" color="#ffffff" size="5" center="yes" radius="square" icon="icon: thumbs-up" rel="nofollow"]CHECK LAST PRICE[/su_button] Wrapping it up NUTRO Ultra dog food is by far one of the best dog food in the market. The ingredients are all-natural and of the greatest quality. Going by the customers reviews on the same, who gave the recipes star ratings of four+ out of five; you can tell that it is the number one dog food line of products. The formulation of the recipes covers all types of dogs ranging from small puppies to the senior adult dogs. NUTRO Ultra is a line of products I would highly recommend for the healthy growth of your pet dog. [amazon bestseller="NUTRO ultra dog food"] This post has appeared for the first time in https://petstutorial.com/nutro-ultra-dog-food/?feed_id=147&_unique_id=5e2dacca8c599 #pets_tuttorial #jane_brody #pet_blog #pet_training #pet_products_reviews #best_dog_products #best_cat_products