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Wu2iwksjehowjdl
To Serve or Indulge
Summary: Your sensitivity to darkness leads you to a path of vices.
A/n: Saw a tweet that said that Sith should seduce Jedi to the dark side with lust and I thought that was so true. Canon isnât real to me so reader is a Jedi Sentinel who specializes in being a shadow agent. đ€
Warnings: Allusion to dubcon smut, freaky foreplay dreams, JediShadow!Reader, a slice of whatâs to come⊠đ€«
TahâNuhna. Cold, peaceful, neutral. The order kept a close eye on the TahâNuhnans. You were lured there for a reason.
Neutrality meant they never picked sides. It also meant it was a safe haven, for light and dark alike. The darkness was pungent as you wandered the streets of the crystallized city.
The penetrating reflections of the structures shine onto you and make you wince in irritation as you were led to your temporary quarters
The same darkness youâve tracked has kept you up at night for months. It infiltrates your dreams. It would envelope you every night, making your heart pump, your skin dew in anticipation.
A red flame would catch your eye and before you knew it a heat was upon your neck like a bolt.
Youâd wake up with fear and your hands would tremble to your side instinctively. Youâd forget that your blade was stored at your bedside.
A shadow can only make itself known with light. Some of your companions would question the existence of your sect. You would question their own devotion to the light.
It was a necessity to act ruthlessly in order to snuff them out. Amulets, talismans, and artifacts of the Sith were still passed and traded throughout the galaxy.
Less so after a millennia of Jedi intervention. But the danger of Sith influence was always a concern to the council.
Despite what they might discuss with others.
Oftentimes, extreme measures were taken to disrupt the spread of Sith knowledge and teachings. Some would die to keep their secrets and you werenât one to deny them that wish.
Trained to be sensitive to darkness seemed counterintuitive. It threatened to envelope you and shroud the light at times. It was dangerous to be so close.
The exposure of temptations, of power, fear, and anger, some would say, would make you a hazard among your peers.
A spy is what they call you, with their lips pursed and eyes narrowed in slight disdain. You didn't wear the same golden robes they did; you often mimicked the attire of an old Sith.
Dark muted colors served to deter attention, but the saber at your hip was a reminder to those keen enough to look you over that you were part of the order spread over the republic to maintain peace.
A puff of condensation escapes past your lips, the market was full despite the deep chill that morning. Your robes didn't help from the cold shivers passing through your body.
But you had a feeling the discomfort was more than the frigid temperature.
The dark lured you in. Your efficiency in identifying depended on the innate attraction to it. You could feel the air shift.
You stop mid-step, a deep burning dug into your ribs, your cheeks pinched and your skin puckered. It was calling to you. The crowd around you grumbled as you blocked the middle of the path.
Your hand braced against your saber as a hooded figure roughly bumped past you. So rough your shoulders twisted you out of your stoic composition. Their fingers had skimmed right over the clip of your handle tauntingly.
You pause as they look back, revealing the face of a man with a teasing smile, his hair parted along the sides of his face messily. His eyes roamed over your form, analyzing you for a moment before pursing his lips in contemplation.
He turned and rushed away.
It was then that you realized, as he turned the corner. Your heart sunk to your stomach and your lungs stopped mid breath.
He was coated in it, plunged and dripping. But he was looking for something. He was lured by the same darkness you've been sensing the second you landed.
This was a new challenge. You had to find the Sith remnant first.
âŠ
It should start off the same. You wake up inside the temple of Coruscant, soft footsteps litter outside your door. Low whisperings pass by. The room smells of paper, ink and linen.
It was simple, a window, a desk, and a bunk. There was enough space in your drawers to have changes of robes and civilian clothes.
Nothing unnecessary. You reach beside you disoriented, already knowing where the dream was going to lead.
The tips of your fingers barely reach the familiar metal of the handle of your saber. Your relief was cut short.
Your head pounds. In a blink of an eye the room darkens, it was raining, and your window howled as if the water burned its frames.
The tunic and loose pants that you wore plastered against the front of your body, your arm moves to block the stabbing droplets of cold rain from your face.
Then a flash of red blurs your vision, the corner of your eye catching it briefly before you wince heavily from the heat of it.
You feel it at your throat, your eyes are closed in anticipation of the threat of the blade's proximity.
You tremble and stand frozen as firm muscle snakes up your waist and torso, holding your stomach in place against a broad chest.
It has never gotten this far. You always wake up as soon as the heat creeped up your shoulder and to your neck. Another heat creeps up beside your head, it leans against your temple and rests there.
Strands of dark hair fall beside your face and you shiver. It was him.
He smells like fresh wet dirt, green cuttings and a hint of metal. You can feel the exhale of his breaths warm the top of your cheek.
The buzz of the saber taunts you, unmoving.
âInspiring. Isnât it?â
You open your eyes to find yourself in a cavern surrounded by stored relics and antiques. All Sith memorabilia. Your mouth is dry as you speak. You were in a daze of confusion and sleep. Even as you dread to admit it, you were struck with fear.
Your mind could barely catch up.
âWhat?-â
âShow me where this is,â his voice echoed throughout the stone walls, it made you squirm against his chest.
Your eyes widened, your mind was clearing, and you recognized where you stood. A select few knew where shadow agent's findings were kept.
You stiffened and he could feel you prepare yourself to disarm him. He didnât want that.
His hold on your stomach tightened, the fabric of your tunic twisting in his grip. His temple pushes against yours and his lips skim past the shell of your ear, shushing gently.
Your heart races, something curls in your stomach as he tsks at your weak attempts at escape. You blame it on exhilaration, notâŠ
You close your eyes tightly and shake your head with a thick swallow. He was clouding your mind somehow. All you could feel was the beat of his heart, the strength of his hand rising underneath your shirt and touching the skin of your belly.
You were surrounded by darkness, locked in and trapped like a loth cat sinking in tar. You had to resist and yet you didn't have the strength to.
He puts his weapon away, his other hand glides atop your arm until he reaches your hand, turning it upright until he could cup it in his palm.
You felt⊠weak. You can feel him smile against you. The same smile he had in the market.
âYou feel it too, donât you?â
Your ears ring, his lips graze over the soft skin of your neck.
âLet it win," he mutters as he nuzzles against your skin. Your eyes flutter and you exhale shakily.
His hips press against the small of your back. He sucks, you whimper as you shake your head pitifully. You can feel him smile, a hum making your skin erupt in tingling bumps.
He was enjoying watching you squirm weakly, so wavering, so conflicted.
His mouth continues downwards, lightly pecking over the swell of your breasts, returning to their ferocity along your collarbones.
This was only a dream, you repeated in your own thoughts. The hand creeping down your hips, the dark locks you thread your fingers in with acceptance of the pleasure he was giving you.
It had to be a dream.
Fingers slipped underneath the cotton band of your pants. His palm cupped you and flexed. The deep groan of satisfaction he gave, finding you aroused and wet, rumbled through your chest.
His head lifts, his nose bumps into yours and his eyes flicker to your lips. For a few seconds your eyes connect, he smiles playfully.
âIâll find you.â
The bed springs creaked loudly as you sat up quickly. Your hand went up to your throat, the area feeling sore.
Your skin was tingling, alight by the visions in your dream. With a wince you stand, feeling an ache on your hips from where you were held.
The door to the quarter's restroom slid open loudly enough to make you jump. As you felt around your chest, you could feel more tender spots.
The memory of the mysterious manâs hands flash through your mind. You could almost feel the heat of his mouth, the intention of his touch again.
Shame fills you, these types of interactions were frowned upon, much less with someone so far gone into a path of chaos.
You splash water over your face, the towel feeling rough on your skin. Refreshing. You take deep breaths in, your mind was finally calming.
You almost chuckle from how absurd your night was, you finally look up above the sink.
The reflection on the mirror made your heart stop. Small splotches of raised red and purple were scattered along your neck, your collarbones and over your breasts.
Succumbing to the floor you place your hands over your mouth, trying and failing to will the image of his grin out of your head.
âŠ
A/n update: Reblogs and comments keep authors going, por si no supieran! Please support fics and authors you want to see more of! đ«¶â€ïž
#Qimir x reader#The Stranger x reader#Qimir fanfiction#The acolyte fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#ficx
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see a list of prompts here. send a request here. see my previous work here, here, here & here. thank you! i don't currently take anons for my own safety and sanity, but if you have a private request feel free to message me and i can post it without using your url! notes: word count is 1,644. austin is your coworker, you're both working side by side on the bikeriders. he helps ground you after a ptsd episode. tw for mentions of sa/assault/past abuse. dedication: this one shot is dedicated to my gf @vintagecherri may we always be able to comfort each other in our darkest times. thank you for teaching and reminding me to always be gentle with myself, even when i feel i have failed the most. xoxo
safe here with me | austin butler x reader
"And cut!"
You sucked in a deep breath, your eyes fluttering closed and then open again as you tried to regain your composure. That scene had really gotten to you, and you'd nailed it on the first go. You almost had forgotten about the man sitting in the same room as you. His eyes grew from vacancy to attentive, searching your face for some sign that you were doing okay. Your breathing became a bit jagged as the director told everyone they'd done a fantastic job and that they'd be moving on for the day.
The man across from you was your co-star, Austin. And you two had been getting to know each other for quite some time, especially since arriving in Cincinnati to film a movie about a biker club from the 1960s. You played his wife, he played your husband - a wild, crazy, pained young man who got a thrill out of doing the most dangerous things and not caring what anyone thought about it. You'd learned, in time, that Austin was the complete opposite. Most of the time anyway. You'd developed a friendship, although sometimes it seemed like more. You knew he looked at everyone like that, like they were the world's greatest treasure in his eyes. He had a way of captivating people and making them feel as if they were the only other person on earth.
"Hey, Y/N," a low and gravel-y voice asked, and you'd realized he'd been saying it for a few moments at least. Your eyes had glazed over, your hands were shaking as you wrapped your arms around your frame. "Are you okay?" the blonde man before you asked, his eyes filled with worry as he saw the way you'd reacted since the day had been called. "I..yes," you finally mustered enough courage up to answer. "Yes. I'm fine." You took a very shaky breath, running both hands through your long hair. "Completely fine." Austin finally stood, holding his hand out to help you up, and you took the help. He led you back outside to his trailer, holding the door for you and you felt inclined to join him, to follow.
"Hey, you know," he tried to begin saying, a little unsure of his own words. "You know, I don't have to tell you that I wouldn't necessarily react the way my character would to anything said or done." And with that, he walked to his mini fridge and got you out a cold water before taking a seat. You nodded, still a little jumbled up with your words. "I know, it's acting," you responded knowingly. Austin nodded, reaching beside him to pull a cigarette from his pack, placing it between his lips and lighting it. He took a deep drag into his lungs, flicking the ashes away into one of his own homemade ashtrays. You still felt small. You always did when topics like that would come up.
"I know that scene was a little heavy," he said, the smoke billowing around him in a cloud. "Yeah, I mean, it's okay," you said easily enough, with a tiny shrug of your shoulders. "I'm more than capable of handling serious scenes." Sure, you hadn't had too much practice before this with acting, but you'd done well enough to nail the part and you'd been doing a fantastic job. "Oh no, no, Y/N. I wasn't trying to insinuate at all that you aren't meant to be here. You are, you are the best scene partner I could ask for. I've loved getting to know you and becoming your friend," Austin explained, pausing to take another puff of his cigarette. You weren't sure where he'd been trying to go with this conversation. "I couldn't help but notice the way you mentally checked out after that scene, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
--------------------------------------------
"Don't you, get away from me!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. Your chest burned, your stomach throbbed, everything inside you felt torn apart and hurt, broken and unfixable. And even after you'd received medical attention it still hurt. For days, for weeks, months, even years. You had residual pain that wouldn't go away, you'd been to the hospital and you'd seen doctors, and you had the nightmares that would wake you up in tears some nights. The assault had made your life a living hell, one that you often hadn't wanted to wake up from. You'd thought of countless ways to end it, to stop the pain from continuing.
--------------------------------------------
Big hands moved over your shaky ones, holding them in place. "Hey." His cigarette had been put out since you'd involuntarily closed your eyes. Your breathing became uneven, you were having trouble catching your breath. "Hey, hey, hey," he said, softening his voice, calming blue eyes filled with worry. "S-sorry," you managed to stutter. If you could think straight you would've been so embarrassed. Having such a massive panic attack in front of your new friend and co-star, not to mention a guy that you were absolutely smitten with was mortifying for you. It had been years, you thought you'd been "over" this. Austin placed a hand on your cheek, moving his thumb over your jaw and checking you over. He reached down and over, taking your wrist gently between two fingers and counting in his head. He did that for a moment or two before shaking his head. "Come sit next to me," he said, holding his arm out for you to come closer. "Please." You shakily moved to sit beside him and didn't protest when he pulled you in against his chest, your ear pressed against his heartbeat. "You're safe," he assured you in a low tone. He hadn't the slightest idea of what you'd gone through, but he knew what a panic attack looked like and what trauma looked like - and he knew you'd experienced something horrendous in your past. Austin worked to keep his breathing and heart rate steady, wanting to help to ground you as much as he could. You could hear the gentle lub-dubs in his chest, the soft beating that kept him alive. and it did soothe you unlike anything else had before. You felt his hand on your back, rubbing in gentle circles, breathing loudly as to remind you that it was okay to breathe and that filling your lungs with air would be a good thing, maybe the best thing for you right now.
After some time, he took your pulse again wanting to make sure that your heart rate had come down some. "There we go, slowly making its way down," he murmured, keeping you close to him, still pressed against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat grounded you and you thought maybe youâd be able to talk a little about what had happened during that scene. âReminded me of something that happened a few years back,â you began. âWith my ex-boyfriend. Hadnât been dating that long or anything and,â she said, shaking her head a little. âHe, he told me heâd stop,â you whispered, giving him a heartbreaking look. âHe promised he would stop before he even started but he didnât,â you whispered, beginning to cry again. âHe broke my trust. He didnât stop and it happened. And, and,â you said, your lungs aching from the gasps you were making. âI, and I,â you tried to say, but you could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your head spinning. You could feel yourself back there again as your breathing became more and more labored. âSomeone took advantage of you,â you finally heard the deep voice say. âYes. Yeah, my ex-boyfriend hurt me. And that scene reminded me of that. Iâm sorry, Iâm a professional. I, Iâm so embarrassed,â you whispered.
It didnât surprise you when you felt his fingers against your wrist again, searching for the magic number of beats per minute, wanting to help bring you back down to earth if he could. âHey, take a few deep breaths, okay? Iâm so sorry that happened. Iâm sorry that he took advantage of you, and I want you to know I will never hurt you like that.â The two of you hadnât even spoken about a romantic relationship, aside from the flirtations that happened after filming and sometimes on set. Austin leaned back some against the couch in his trailer, bringing you with him cautiously. âThere you go,â he whispered, moving one hand to your back and making sure you were pressed up against his chest again. You allowed yourself to focus. You could feel his breathing against you, the rise and fall of his abdomen and the soft puttering of his heartbeat. âThere you go,â he said, combing his fingers through your long hair, attempting to soothe you. âThere we go,â he said again, dancing his fingers over your back. âDeep breaths, after me.â And with his help, you were able to catch your breath. âYouâre safe here with me, okay?â He pressed a kiss to your head, wanting to comfort you and relieved that your body seemed to be relaxing. âIâm sorry that triggered these feelings and memories for you. And when youâre ready, you tell me all about that, as much as youâd like to, okay? Iâll be here. Iâll listen and Iâll hold your hand to help it keep from shaking.â You took a deep breath and opened your eyes, your ear still filled with the sound of the manâs heartbeat. âYou mean that really?â You asked, almost shocked that someone would take that kind of time to comfort and learn you. âYeah. I really do.â You took another gentle breath and allowed your eyes to close, snuggling in comfortably against Austin. Youâd never felt such comfort in your life, and looked forward to being in his.
#austin butler#austin butler imagines#austin butler x reader#austin butler x you#my ficx#angel dream.
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have u ever considered squirrel smunker....or was he always meant to be a skunks.....
i have considered squirrel sona! squirrel is a cheye animal i feel, ive jst never done it bc people regularly confuse smunker for a squirrel anyway
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my haley brain rot is terminal, sorry
#stardew valley#haley stardew valley#haley stardew valley pls answer my dms#\(^ăź^)/#allergy medicine makes me eepy... makes my hand wobbly#idk im tired#and my hands are shakin#if that wasnt obvious i guess? my brain dont be working sorry girls#haley could ficx me#mwah mwah#idk how to draw anymore#go easy on my handwriting writing with a mouse is not easy#(my handwriting just isnt great to begin with but um not the point)#anyways i just saw someone simping for baldi from baldi's basics so imma log off#night night sleep tight treat the bedbugs right
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AAAAGHHHHHZJOSAHWUIEKSJKS
â SENSORY DEPRIVATION with QIMIR/THE STRANGER
wc: 1,328 | content: sexual descriptions of the force (??), fingering, might be bad idk i was drunk writing most of this
ââput it on.â he didnât hold the mask out to you, or drag you to where it sat on the table and force it on. just gave you a command.
âwhat will you do if i donât?â
ânothing at all.â
his careless response frustrated you. you wanted him to give you a reason why, something you could use as an excuse for why you wanted to put it on, even before he said anything. and he gave you nothing. he only watched you.
he watched you as you fruitlessly searched for a way out of this and gave up far too quickly. he watched you as you slowly moved towards the table, as you sat face to face with his mask. as your fingertips reached out to touch the cool metal, the entirety of your palm flattening against it shortly after. you could feel something tugging at you, and you looked at him.
âput it on,â he repeated softly. you waited for a moment, and you did.
now, you let the darkness envelop you, take over your mind. youâre wearing the mask that he wore when he killed your friends. when he nearly killed you. and now you knowâ the whole time, he saw nothing.
all you can hear is your own heavy breathing. was this how he felt when he cut them down? when he made you think he was saving you for last as he tossed you aside with a flick of his hand?
âhow does it feel?â he sounds far away and directly in your ear at the same time.
you see flashes, lightsabers clashing, your friends dyingâ
âthis was a mistake.â your hands grip the sides of the helmet, but before you can lift it off, his own hands cover yours.
âclear your mind. breathe.â his thumbs brush your knuckles. âitâs overwhelming, i know.â
you let out a shaky breath. âyou donât see anything.â
âno,â he says, moving his hands to your shoulders. âand that allows my other senses to be heightened.â
you focus on his voice, on the feeling of his palms warming your skin. âand you prefer it that way?â
âitâs better this way. just you⊠and the forceâŠâ he pauses, runs a finger along your collarbone. âand whatever else you⊠allow yourself to feel.â
his name is loud in your ears when you say it. âwould you show me?â
instead of responding, his touch leaves you. with your hands dropped to your sides, youâre left completely vulnerable to him with his mask obscuring your vision. but you can hear him, his breathing, the shift of his weight, the steps he takes to get closer to you. his hand cutting through the air between the two of you to slide up your top and flatten against the plane of your stomach.
âfeels different, doesnât it?â he hums.
âyes,â you breathe.
itâs like you can sense every atom that makes him up, the force flowing through him in a way youâve never been able to feel, not even within yourself. your hand covers his underneath your top. the power hums, pulses, fills you with the insatiable urge for more.
âfeels good.â
itâs not a question. you nod in response all the same.
âi know,â he whispers. âi know it does.â
his hand begins to slips lower, and you let it. your breathing hasnât calmed, but you donât hear it anymore, just the hum of the force as he uses it to undo your pants and allow himself access to the part of yourself that you havenât explored.
your years of jedi training are screaming at you from outside the barrier of cortosis around your head, telling you to stop this, to take the mask off, hurtle it at him to catch him off guard, because this is an attack, heâs attacking your very being and this merits retaliationâ
and you ignore it, refuse to let it distract you from qimirâs breath on your chest, his hand cupping the heat between your thighs.
âthey would never let you feel this. not just this,â he punctuates the word with pressing a finger inside you, and you choke on air, jaw going slack, âbut this power, this energy. this is how i felt you, on khofar.â
you gasp when he adds another finger, his movements more insistent as the force between the two of you thrums, building as you draw him closer.
âthatâs how i knew it was you. the one iâve been looking for. youâre different than the jedi. more powerful.â he laughs breathlessly when you grab the back of his head, dig your fingers into his hair. âcome on, use your words.â
âso⊠so good,â you pant, torn between wanting to remove the mask to see his face, to see if heâs as affected by your touch as you are by his, kiss him, and wanting to never take it off so he can just continue to have his way with you.
though, you think he might have his way with you regardless. even worse, you think youâd let him.
âyouâre such a good listener,â he praises, grinding his palm against you as his fingers thrust harder, more insistently. âyouâll make an excellent pupil.â
ân-no,â you stammer, unsure how you even manage to say it with his fingers inside of you and his lips teasingly dragging along the heated skin of your chest.
âno?â you hear him scoff, and can practically see the raised-brows look heâs giving you.
âyou donâtââ
âunderstand?â he pulls the word right out of your mouth, pausing his movements and ignoring your cry of disappointment. âyou can feel me. here, now, in the force. feel me, and try to tell me i donât understand.â
youâre desperate, you realize as he slowly resumes pleasuring you. for him, for the release heâs brought you so close to, for answers as to why he is the way he is.
you reach out to that power in his body, feel the way it moves and slides and aligns with yours. itâs different, it has been for a long time now, but you feel its beginnings. it has the same ones as yours; was once a youngling at the jedi temple.
âitâs hard to walk away. but itâs easier when they donât leave you anything to walk away from. youâre here. youâre with me. and iâm not going anywhere.â he says it like a promise, his tongue laving the skin of your neck like he can taste your need. ânow give it to me.â
and even though heâs technically the one that didnât leave you anything to walk away from, you believe him. you let it all go.
your doubt, your worry, your half-baked plans of escape, your distrust, your fear. it rushes out of you with your orgasm and you yank him into you, feel the hard plane of his chest against yours, rising and falling with his own labored breaths as he removes his fingers, leaving you shaking with sensitivity.
you fumble with the mask, pushing it off your head with a gasp when the light of the cave sears your eyes. you bury your face in his neck, the both of you letting his mask tumble to the ground as he returns your hold. you donât know if heâs doing it because he wants to, or if he just knows itâs what you need from him. your jedi master never held you. never gave you the connection that you craved. qimir has given you that and more.
âi want you to teach me,â you whisper, letting yourself melt into the comfort of his arms. âteach me everything.â
he pets the back of your head, strokes your hair. âthis was your first lesson, my acolyte.â
you need to know every facet of him, every bit of wisdom heâs gained, no matter how long it takes. you wonât grapple for excuses. you wonât think twice.
you will only ever do what your master wants.
m.list
© qimirdiary 2024. do not repost without permission.
#qimir x reader#qimir x you#qimir imagine#the acolyte x reader#the acolyte x you#the acolyte imagine#star wars x reader#star wars x you#star wars imagine#the stranger x reader#the stranger x you#the stranger imagine#ficx
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i wont explain
#but im right. look at a secretary bird. absolute freak shit. just like spader!#adventure time#wizard city#spader#blaine#digital#its laundry day for spader. blaines supervising#the spacing in the first pnael is allll messed up...OH WELL! too late. not ficxing it
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i am,. the saddest and loneliest creatuer on the fuckign plantet. tbh. i wan to sob
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Did nobody tell me there was a keyboard shortcut to make your background on Tmblr light blue or was I just supposed to find that out by attempting to type in the messenger bar myself?
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mmmmmmm tghe violent urge to do some redesigns for more accuracy.... vs im almost done sids ref.........
#i guess i coul;d probably slide by just modivying like. a SMALL bit of her outfit and that wouild mostly ficx it.....#anyways while looking up pictures of ref imasges for her veil i found out that most nuns wear a scapular as well as all their other things#i mean i GUESS its technically accuratew because the woman in the photo reference i used to origianlly desgin the outfits ALSO doesnt have#scapular#ren rambles#not art
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can I please request austin butler for the prompt comforting after a panic attack: I canât I canât and/or you never thought your presence would soothe them - thank you <3
yes, you certainly can! thank you for asking and reading. <3
grounding you | Austin Butler x reader
notes: wc is 686. your boyfriend, austin helps ground you after a major anxiety attack. tw for anxiety/panic episodes
Your heart pounded in your chest. Each beat felt like a wave crashing against your ribcage. You couldn't catch your breath and nothing was helping. You were somewhere around the world - far, far away from home and visiting your boyfriend. He was at work. He was busy doing important things and filming for an upcoming movie. Your hands shook as you tried to steady yourself, but you simply couldn't. You heard a knock at the door and couldn't even move your head to look up. You willed yourself not to pass out from the immense anxiety that you were experiencing for seemingly no reason.
"Hey - don't wanna scare you. Just forget my bag -".
He stopped in the doorway, his brow furrowing and a look of concern over his face. "Baby, are you okay?" he asked, although he knew you were anything but. He'd dealt with this all his life, he knew all about the anxiety attacks, the masking, the breakdowns. He knew about waking up with a pulse so fast that you thought you'd go into cardiac arrest. He knew about the ticks and triggers that others without anxiety couldn't quite fathom. You tried your best to breathe, but ultimately failed. He darted over to you on the bed and took a seat beside you. "Shh," Austin whispered, rubbing your back gently in a small concentric circles. "Baby, hey - listen to me, meet my eyes," he instructed, his raspy and deep voice commanding you to listen. He put a finger under your chin and moved your head so that your eyes would meet his. "Hey. You're here. I'm here," he reminded you. "Feel, feel the bed. Feel my hands," he said, holding his hands out in front of you. He took your hands in his large hands and rubbed circles against the back of your hands. "Smell, smell the daisies in the corner of the room." He glanced at the bouquet of daisies he had gotten for you the day before. "Hear, hear my voice. Hear my breathing," Austin reminded you, taking a deep breath. "See, see my chest rise and fall," he said, taking a few more deep breaths so you couldn't miss it. "Taste, taste the cherry lip gloss," he spoke, knowing you always had it on. You managed to lip your lips. Austin saw the subtle movement of your tongue and brought you in close to his chest, holding you protectively. You began to cry softly, so tired of all the mental health frustrations you'd been dealing with. You saw therapists, you'd taken the medicine and nothing seemed to give your mind a break from the constant nagging and worrying about things that turned out to be nothing. "Baby," he whispered, stroking your hair. "Come back to me. Come back down to earth. It's only us." You closed your eyes, trying to follow his voice. Austin took one of your hands and led it to his chest. You could feel the mostly steady thump of his heart against your hand and like clockwork it grounded you.
You took a sharp breath and opened your eyes, beginning to cough a little. Your lungs hadn't been able to have proper air in thirty minutes. It was one of the longest anxiety attacks you'd ever endured. "Austin," you whispered. "I - I'm so sorry that I'm like this," you began, your hands shaking uncontrollably over his chest. "Babe, baby, hey. Look at me," he said, his crystal blue eyes meeting yours again. "How many times have you had to help me like this? Countless. Countless, babe. Please don't worry about a thing, I understand completely," he assured you, placing his hand over yours. "I'm just glad I could be here when you needed me. I know I'm not always the most available." You shook your head slightly, beginning to regain your breath. "You're busy, but thank you for staying with me during this. I don't know what I'd do without you," you replied gently. "Of course, my love." He paused to run his fingers through your hair. "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be than grounding you."
#thank you! enjoy#austin butler x reader#austin butler imagines#austin butler fic#Jesus take the wheel#my ficx
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@strkamand
STAR TREK: VOYAGER // S5E10 Counterpoint Impressive. You gave a masterful performance. I'm the one who's impressed. With your selflessness, your humanity! It made all this so much easier. Oh, but what about your selflessness?
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Is anyone else in Ao3 hell or is it just me?
Can't get it to load anything.
Dying of fic withdrawal.
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I CHERISH that new zoro kinktober ficx, UEHAHAHAHAAGHHHHHR if he don't visit again I'm gonna go crazy jaw (dropping as ever Fy..
-đŁ
MANIFEST THAT HE WILL!
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blog update! all hex codes will now be ]lowercase ]to ]help ]me ]with ]legibility ](capitals ]look ]too ]much ]like ]numbers)
also ]my ]keyboard ]is ]broken. ]i ]don
t ]knwo ]how ]to ]ficx ]this. ]help.''''''
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rage only fills me maybe pain juice will ficx
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I think it's pretty natural we see less bojere interaction nowadays, as they are both busy and living in different countries. I personally would find it stranger and even fake, I guess, if they were constantly shoving their friendship to the public. Now the crumbs we do get seem more genuine. And I also feel like, even though things are quieter, we still get some crumbs almost constantly, so I highly doubt there's any kind of divorce going on. The only thing that makes me a bit sad, is that if the bojere part of the fandom ceases to exists, there won't be any new fanfics and I so desperately need my fix. đ
This was pretty much what I was trying to say, thank you for putting it so well.
And yes, please don't everyone leave, we need our fic fix!! (ficx?)
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