#fic: mattdrai

[cheddaryouthanme]

Hockey RPF writers being known across fandoms as literary masters

When I first started reading MattDrai fics on AO3 I remember thinking “wait what the HELL is going on why is this the most consistently well-written fanfiction I’ve read in any fandom? Is this a thing? Do people know??” And apparently it is and they do.

[fleurywiththesave]

I said I would write today

Later, Matthew will be thankful to learn that the cameras cut away before he and Leon reached each other in the handshake line. No words exchanged. He just tries to put everything — years of everything — into a touch lasting less than two seconds. Leon doesn’t meet his eyes. Matthew doesn’t expect him to.

When he hugs his teammates, when has the cup in his hands, when his family is finally on the ice, he lets himself float in the moment. Brady catches his eyes drifting back toward the visitors’ tunnel once and raps him on the head.

“No,” he says firmly. “Not right now. Don’t miss this.” It’s good advice and Matthew listens. Mostly.

It’s radio silence for three days. And yeah, maybe Matthew checks his phone a few more times than he should in between the bursts of celebration, but he doesn’t push. He’s got more than enough to do and Leon will come to him when he’s ready.

“When he’s ready” turns out to be about two o’clock in the morning. It’s the first time since Monday that everybody in the house has been asleep at a semi-reasonable hour, something Leon must have anticipated, because he texts I’m outside instead of using his key and potentially scaring the shit out of someone (Matthew. The someone would definitely end up being Matthew).

He walks in when Matthew opens the door, but immediately hovers just inside the foyer. He’s shaved — Matthew can see his whole face for the first time in months. He looks exhausted. Matthew waits.

Leon takes a slow, deep breath, looks Matthew directly in the eye, and says, “I am so fucking proud of you.”

Matthew melts. Seriously, he’s a puddle of goo on the floor. Leon lets himself be pulled into a hug, or maybe engulfed in a hug is more accurate, as Matthew tries to get as close to him as he possibly can. He can feel Leon shaking where he’s clinging to Matthew’s neck.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs.

Leon shakes his head. “No. This is about you, not me.”

“It’s been about me for three days,” Matthew scoffs. “I can make it about you if I want to.” Leon sighs, shuddering and sad.

“What if I never win?”

It’s a whisper, almost too quiet for Matthew to hear, and it makes his heart ache.

“Then I’ll still love you,” he says. “Your family will still love you. Connor will still love you. My family will still love you.” Leon presses his face into Matthew’s cheek and Matthew can tell that he’s trying not to cry.

“You’re going to win,” he continues, because he believes it. He can feel it in his bones, that it’s a matter of when, not if. “But if you don’t, it won’t change anything about who you are.”

They stay like that for a while, until Leon takes another deep breath and pulls away.

“Okay, enough of that for now. This is about you. I want this to be about you.” He cups Matthew’s face in his hands. “Tell me everything.”

Matthew’s not an animal. He kisses Leon first. Once for welcome back, once for reassurance, and once just because he can.

Then he tells him everything.

[saywhatyouwillbut]

i do not personally watch the panthers, the flames, or the oilers, but the one thing i have learned from approximately one week of reading mattdrai fic is that leon is the palace knight on a quest to trace down this rare artifact who gets set up by a guy he has a one night stand with who manages to follow him covertly and steal the artifact out from right under his nose, leaving him to certain death at the hands of booby traps various, only for leon to survive and have to chase him down, catching up to and running into him in many silly and perilous scenarios where matthew (the thief, obviously) keeps accidentally falling into his arms and saying, “we have got to stop running into each other like this”

[offside-the-lines]

MattDrai Fic Recs

So @irrelevanttous and @puckthisshift sent me the ask meme prompt for "what my favorite Mattdrai fic is" and I went on a JOURNEY lemme tell ya. I ended up figuring out how to download my AO3 history (in which I discovered that in the last year, I've read like literally 50% of all the MattDrai fics ever written) to help me figure out what my faves were. So here are some (most? I hope?), split into categories.

General Faves:

head above water by yourblues (@msmargaretmurry) 🔒 (E, 91.1k) This might be one of the best pieces of RPF ever written; it's a classic. I have visited this fic literally 21 times. It has everything: stupidity, pining, incredible sex, falling for each other, also more stupidity. Chapter 6 literally rips my entire soul out every time. I think this fic permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's a perennial re-read.

only fools rush in by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 94.9k) This is another fic that is a Must Read for HRPF as a whole. The entire time, I just want to reach through the screen and wring both of their necks for being so incredibly dense. And I love everything about this, especially just the way it's written is so incredible.

Growing Into Someone by @blaahaj 🔒 (E, 46.5k) God, I love this fic so much, I come back to it all the time. I think this must've been one of the first Mattdrai works I read. But I just love how natural the initial tension is, and how inevitable their falling in love is, and how the climax happens and resolves is just so incredible.

Undo Falling for You by crookedsilence (@csblogs) 🔒 (T, 16.1k) This is an AU I guess? I put it in this section because it's Hanahaki, so like only kinda AU. Either way, I am obsessed with this! It is just emotionally perfect. Highly recommend.

rough dream? by reticent 🔒 (M, 7.2k) So, this fic is probably the most "out there" suggestion because of the warning (I'll get to that part) but this fic is literally the most perfect microcosm of what Mattdrai fics tend to have: pining, lack of communication, falling in love while being terrified of falling in love, etc. This is a time loop fic where Matthew is stuck in the time loop but it's told from the perspective of Leon. It is absolutely incredible. I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. The warning is for a suicide, but no "actual" character death because the time loop resets.

i'll tell you when to stop by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 39.6k) (McMattDrai) This is the real answer to 'what fic do you send people if they want to get into MattDrai'. I have sent this to so many people because it is perfect. Everything about this is perfect. Matthew's internal dialogue and his anxiety, and his perception of what's happening. The second half of the fic is so well-written and suspenseful. Something I feel it will give me a heart attack even though I've read it like 10 times.

Future Fics

Saving the Best for Last by @puckingtrash 🔒 (E, 100.1k) This is the fic that made me obsessed with Future Fics of current rivals. There's just a level of camaraderie and understanding that happens after that many years in the same league; it doesn't matter how much beef you had. And this fic is just so incredible. I love thinking about what these guys do after retirement. A must read IMO.

home by now by daisysusan (@hopetorun) 🔒 (E, 102.3k) Probably one of the best fics. I love the way this builds up and keeps you on edge. It really mirrors how Matty feels, just this general unease of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The laying of the pining with the hurt and confusion is just so well done.

back to where we lasted by @ohtemporas 🔒 (E, 34.4k) Trade fics are always so interesting with these two. Especially in the situation where they are exes. And one of them (Leon in this case) has fucked up greatly, and they need to figure out how to get past it because neither of them are over it. Or in this case, figure out how to do it again, but properly.

Old Flames Burn Brighter by @cisumox (E, 25k) I love this fic so much because of the way they are both clearly affected by what happened and how much they still want to love each other. I think about this one al the time. Warning: this does involve a career ending injury.

settle down in the Sunshine State by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 14.7k) This has my fave Mattdrai trope where one of them is a fucking idiot, and is so in their head about it. And they have absolutely no idea what literally every single other person knows. In this case, it's Matthew. I absolutely love this fic. I read it all the time.

gather your broken lessons and move by rumandwhine 🔒 (E, 30.5k) This one is super interesting because it doesn't involve a trade, or them in the same place. It is the same as it was before, but different. How are they doing to figure out what went wrong and how are they going to make sure they don't make the same mistakes? They are older now, but are they any less stupid. Keep reading to find out. (Also featuring an absolutely hilarious situation with Drai and his rookie).

AUs

linger by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 65.5k) (Omegaverse) This is another all timer. It is so incredible: the way they are just so inexplicably drawn to each other, and obsessed but so worried about their obsession. And the way Leon treats Matthew as something really special from the beginning (and how Matthew just doesn't seem to pick up on that). The way that things build towards the climax, with the ASG 2023 moment (which makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time; it HURTS). It has all the best parts of omegaverse and explores their relationships with their dynamics so thoughtfully.

whatever promises I made by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 360k) (Omegaverse) Yet another all timer for the genre as a whole. The way that omegaverse is explored here is so interesting. It was the fic that really got me on board with the AU. It is so core to the way the characters interact with each other and the world, and the inherent traumas it brings really parallels some of the experiences of populations in the real world (e.g. women).

so is the longing by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 44.7k) (Omegaverse) When I tell you I have read this fic sooooo many times. It is so so good (and so hot). Matthew is so incredibly oblivious and Leon is pining so hard and down soooooo bad. I think Leon's love for Matthew can be seen from like Alpha centauri and yet Matthew totally misses it (among other things). This is SO good.

Egos and Eligibility by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 91.1k) (Regency & Omegaverse) I will continue to suck up to my good friend Iris LOL. But seriously, I read this before I even knew it was her and I love it so much. I adore Regency Matthew and the way Leon is literally ever MMC from the era (Mr Darcy) is so funny to me (why so pissy Leon). Regency is such a perfect setting for the Omegaverse tropes of courting and, also again, exploring the societal impact of having these dynamics in play. I think the part where Matthew goes into heat is SO funny and well written. Bridgerton wishes.

Royal Pain by lavender_hazyy 🔒 (E, 48.9k) + Sequel Rules of Engagement (E, 37.8k) (Medieval/Royalty/Bridgerton/Robin Hood) That sounds like the most bonkers combination of things, but it's truly so so so good. I recommend this one SO much. It's so much fun to read, and their interactions are so funny. Poor Connor is always experiencing the Horrors in the background. Everything about this is perfection. THE FUCKING LOVE LETTERS OMG.

bittersweet and strange by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 53.4k) (Fairytale Curses) Will I ever stop thinking about this? Probably not. :) I think so much of this is a metaphor for the "beast" that Matthew portrays himself to be (maybe believes himself to be) irl. Also, I will never get enough of Taryn as a character; she is just incredible. I will literally never forget the reveal at the end (and ever villain I ever write will be henceforth inspired by you). (Also, curly haired tiger Matthew, you will always be real to me. Leon + me *handshake emoji* wanting to tough Matthew's fur).

I honestly don't even think this is ALL of the Mattdrai fics I think about regularly/reread regularly. But these are at least a lot of them. There are also so many good recommendation lists on this website when you search for "mattdrai fic recs" that will include even more fics than the ones I've selected.

Legitimately, thank you to all Mattdrai writers out there for being the fucking GOATs. I don't know what I would be reading if not this.

[drysaladandketchup]

for the "things you said" writing meme -- matthew/leon, 12 :)

Thank you for the request <3 I realised very quickly I have no idea what constitutes a 'mini' fic. I struggle to write 'mini' anything lol. Hopefully this still satisfies :)

12. things you said when you thought i was asleep

It takes all of Matthew's willpower not to reach over and smash his phone just to shut off the alarm. All that saves his wallet and an awkward trip to the Apple store is the split-second realisation that the shrieking in his ear isn't his usual alarm.

It's a ringtone. Not his own, either.

He pries his eyes open to find the world through the window is still dark. One of the balcony doors is still ajar, letting in a cool night breeze. He's lying on his side in his own bed, the end of the all-star weekend memorialized by several aches and bruises.

His hips and ass are a little sore too, but that's unrelated. Technically.

The ringing stops. Someone huffs behind him.

Someone. Yeah, no, Matthew knows who it is. They may have met up at the bar once the media was done swarming, but Matthew was far from drunk. Painfully sober, in fact. If he's being honest with himself, he was hoping things would turn out this way.

One more time. One more moment. Because it's been a long time since they were them. Longer still since the sex was just sex, since hate became want. Matthew is strong in a lot of ways, but not against this.

"Davo." Leon's voice is low, and still gruff from sleep when he answers his phone. He sits up on his side of the bed, trying not to disturb Matthew, pulling the covers back up over Matthew's shoulder like he thinks he'll freeze to death in this balmy Florida winter.

Usually Matthew's a heavy sleeper. But never when Leon's around. He makes it impossible for Matthew to completely relax, to let time slip by. Leon's just too big of a presence, almost too much to bear. It was more important that everything linger, to bask in the strange comfort of their relationship, whatever it was. They had so little time. Even less, now.

"I know it's late. No, no, I'm not at the hotel. I'm... I'm with Tkachuk."

Leon says his last name like it's wrong, like it's rotting on his tongue.

When he corrects himself, says, "Matthew", it's better, lighter. Like it's ambrosia.

Matthew remembers when Leon Draisaitl saying his name wouldn't have meant a damn thing to him. When that simple act didn't fill him with fondness.

In the silence, Matthew can hear McDavid talking on the other end, but can't quite make out what he's saying. Matthew tucks up under the duvet, breathing quiet and even, trying to focus instead on the distant sound of waves and the ticking clock on his wall.

Ticking. Always ticking. Time bleeds out when they're together.

He doesn't even remember falling asleep last night, but he wishes he hadn't now. He wishes he'd stayed awake longer, just to... just to see him. To look Leon in the eye, to talk about everything and nothing until dawn, to feel big, too-warm hands on his body more and more and more. He wants to make sure he'll remember how Leon feels, sounds, tastes.

"Connor," Leon says, a warning, followed by a sigh. "I know. I know, okay? It was stupid, but..."

Maybe it was. Matthew has a good thing here in Florida. Better than ever. He was happy to leave Alberta behind and start over. So why did leaving make him feel like a coward?

Because leaving was about Calgary, and the Flames. About his career and his future. It wasn't about Leon. Leon was the wrench in the gears; the one thing he didn't expect to have to say goodbye to, the kind of hurt he never could have accounted for.

"I needed to see him." Leon sounds helpless. He's not the only one.

The only time he's heard Leon so lost was after his team was knocked out of the playoffs last season. The Oilers meant nothing--Matthew was pretty fucking glad considering they'd beat out the Flames--but he never wanted to hear Leon like that again.

He definitely never wanted to be the cause of it. Not like this.

Leon is still mumbling into his phone. "Yeah, I'm fine. He's... we're good. He's happy."

A hand settles on Matthew's head. Fingers play with his curls, nails scratch his scalp. A thumb presses just behind Matthew's ear, stroking the soft skin where only hours before Leon had put his lips, whispering sweetness and filth in equal measure.

It takes everything for Matthew not to groan, to whimper and surrender, roll over and climb on top of Leon and take all over again. Beg him to take something--everything--from Matthew.

"I don't know," Leon says then.

It's easy to guess what McDavid asked.

He's happy. But are you?

"I can't even tell him I still love him."

Still. Matthew didn't even know there was a before, let alone a still. Leon never said anything. Fuck, if Matthew wasn't busy trying to remember how to breathe, he'd roll over and punch him.

Then again, what did Matthew ever say? They never talked about it. Never let those closet hook-ups and slipping out back doors and little drinks and dinners and overnights excused as practical necessity be anything more than that. A bunch of chirps and half-truths and aborted discussions because it was all becoming too much. There was too much uncertainty. Too many ways it could go wrong.

It did go wrong. It became something. It became real.

Maybe that would have changed something. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything at all. It doesn't matter now. Matthew left, and neither of them said a word about things like love, because it was easier to hope it would shrivel and die with distance and time.

"I know I'm being stupid." Leon pauses when McDavid interrupts, then huffs. "No, I am. Fuck, I really thought I'd get over it. Maybe I will. Eventually."

Don't you fucking dare, you piece of shit, Matthew wants to scream.

"Not sure I can, though." Leon swallows so loud Matthew can hear it. Then quieter, like he's not sure he's even allowed to admit it, he says, "I don't really want to."

He's still playing with Matthew's hair, occasionally dragging a finger over his bare shoulder or down his back, tracing imaginary lines across Matthew's flesh. Like he's something to be memorized and cherished.

They're both so fucking stupid. Matthew bites his lip and tries not to choke on the lump in his throat. Could be his heart, climbing right up and out of his mouth. He clings to the sheets with shaking hands.

"I'm not going to fuck up what he's got here," Leon says tiredly, voice thick with tension and pathetic resignation.

Leon's not here to drag him back. He wouldn't do that. So why is he here? Just to torture them both? Being with him doesn't feel like torture. It feels like winning. It feels like defiance and decadence and too much and not enough. It feels like what could have been and what could still be.

He didn't find Leon at that bar and bring him home out of pity, or nostalgia, one last fuck for old times sake. It was... it just was. Not an ending. Not some final goodbye. Proof maybe there could still be something. Getting over it was never an option, Matthew knew that well before he stepped onto the ice as a Panther and found himself staring Leon down all over again.

Matthew's vision is blurring. His eyes sting, warm and wet. There's blood pounding in his ears, and a hand clutching his heart, a vice around his lungs. He hardly remembers how to breathe.

He doesn't catch the rest of Leon's conversation, except something about meeting Connor back at the hotel tomorrow. Meaning he's staying the night, at least. He's staying.

When Leon hangs up the phone, Matthew finally comes up for air. He relaxes his shoulders, listening to the soft thump as Leon taps his phone against his forehead over and over. Then it clatters on the side table. Leon sighs, sniffs, and sinks back under the covers. He tucks right up against Matthew's back, still burning like a furnace, soft muscle and skin brushing Matthew's spine in all the right ways.

He throws an arm around Matthew and finds one of his hands, worming his fingers through the gaps to hold it. His palm is sweaty, not that it matters at all to Matthew. He can't help squeezing Leon's hand a little, but if Leon notices, he doesn't say a word.

Not until he's wrapped tight around Matthew, near suffocating, like any part of them that isn't touching is a sin.

"Love you," Leon mumbles, barely more than a whisper, pressing his lips right to the base of Matthew's neck. Matthew's body can't seem to decide whether to shiver or melt under the heat.

Leon says it like it's inevitable. Painful. Pitiful.

What he's saying is, I'm sorry I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before. I'm sorry I don't know how to say it now. I'm sorry it's too late, it's the wrong place, the wrong time.

Like he doesn't think Matthew could ever understand. And that's the worst part of it all. They're still not on the same page. Tearing down what they never built.

If Leon's only brave enough to say it when Matthew's asleep, then Matthew will just have to be brave enough to say it in the light of day. He doesn't run, and he won't now that he knows he doesn't have to.

He stares into the night outside his window, listening to Leon breathe, feeling his heart beat through Matthew's chest like that's where it longs to be.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow maybe they can stop chasing time long enough to make the most of what they have. To make up for what they've wasted. And whatever happens after, well, maybe they can stop being afraid of that, too.

[pemguims]

hrpf fic recs!!!!!

hello hello! i have been meaning to do this for so long but i am finally here with my list! i've tried to keep some of the more 'obvious' choices off here (for example top kudos pieces like king and lionheart) but some will slip through bc. i like them <3

i will mention main trope / trigger warnings on each fic but read tags before u read etc etc etc

also i love ABO and generally prefer long fics so srry if that doesnt align w ur interests! i also will read any and every pairing under the sun, so a lot of these are just random pairings :3 also i haven't tagged th writers tumblr accounts bc that ? felt odd to do for some reason ? but if u would like to be tagged lmk !!!!!! <3

sidgeno:

the biblical sense by sevenfists - word count: 57,896 ✷Sid, I’m so—I’m sorry,” Geno said. “My stupid—I’m ruin everything, I—” “Shut up, Geno,” Sidney said, already intensely weary of listening to Geno’s self-recrimination. “You’ve barely even done anything.” Geno’s voice dropped what sounded like an entire octave. “But I want to.”✷ (ABO, canon setting)

th first hrpf fic i read which got me into hockey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leave the lights on by coricomile - word count: 17,692 ✷"Okay?" Geno asked groggily. Sid snapped out of it. Cold sweat broke out across the back of his neck. He inched away, tucking his hands under his thighs. He wouldn't have- Geno didn't deserve to be hurt. Sid would never- "Your head?" "Yeah," Sid choked out. Geno leaned forward and soothed a big hand over Sid's hair, his lips twisting at the corners. His eyes were painkiller bright, glazed over enough that they looked like marbles. He left his hand on Sid's head as his eyes slid shut. Sid sat still as Geno dozed and counted his breaths.✷ (TW: OCD, mental health issues. canon setting)

anything that touches by saysthemagpie - word count: 48,578 ✷Sid knew how to smile. He knew how to make the muscles work, how to soften his face into something less rigid. Geno liked him happy. If he wanted Sid easy and pleasant, here at the end, Sid could give him that. Geno asked so little of him.✷ (TW: Sexual assault, prostitution, abuse, trauma. canonish-AU)

probably one of my top 10 favourite fics ever ngl. so so good so beautiful so sad i have such a vivid memory of reading this for the first time at like 11pm hunched in bed trying to cry rlly quietly so i didnt wake my bf KSBDBKJ. one of th most harrowing pieces of literature i think i have ever read <3

blood from the stone by saysthemagpie - word count 80,903 ✷It wasn’t the prospect of pain that frightened him. Zhenya was a hockey player: he was used to pain, even to violence. But this wasn’t like a fight on the ice—tempers boiling over, hot rage spilling out everywhere—cathartic, necessary, even if it got him sent down the tunnel. This was different. There was nothing here to push back against, no way to assert his own will. In a little while Crosby would come to him, and Zhenya would open the door and let him in. Crosby would feed from him, taking what he wanted from Zhenya’s body. And then they would be bound.✷ (Vampires, forced bonding. canonish-AU)

another banger another harrowing tale!!!!!!!! sidney crosby u will suffer!!!!!

morning to wake you by oflights - word count: 54,104 ✷I've been calling this The Sexual Misadventures of Sidney Crosby forever, and that gives you an idea, but just in case: in which Sidney wins a gold medal, has sex (a lot), falls in love (twice), and breaks a bunch of rules.✷(canon setting)

swallow the fire by cascara_soda - word count: 6367 ✷“It’ll be okay. It’s my choice,” Sid said, and it was only sort of a lie. Or, the 1989 Super Series Winner’s Room AU.✷ (canon AU setting)

life is wine by coricomile - word count: 9414 ✷"I see you watch him," Geno says, leaned in so he's talking directly into Jamie's ear. Jamie tenses, but Geno doesn't move away. He drops his arm over Jamie's shoulders and it shouldn't feel like a trap, but it does, even if Geno doesn't do anything other than hold on. "Is hard not look, I know." Sometime after Jamie got distracted by Sidney's ass, Hags had left the booth and subsequently left Jaime alone with Geno, abandoned except for the clutter of empties.✷ (canon setting)

ache by pheobus - word count: 4079 ✷Sid wasn’t an omega, but just once he wanted to be selfish. Maybe Geno would realize that this wasn’t how things were meant to be, or that there was simply no way Sid could be anything other than who he was. His thoughts were all twisted up, stuck in overwhelming cycles of what-if. Sid liked who he was, what he was. He didn’t want to be an omega. But dear God, he wanted Geno to mount him like one.✷ (ABO)

more than anything by getoffmyhead - word count: 17,011 ✷Sid and Zhenya had been together—officially together—for three years when it happened. Three years of normal, committed relationship sex. They hooked up plenty before that, too, without ever veering into anything weird. They didn't have a sex dungeon. They didn't own nipple clamps. There was nothing in their history that could have prepared Zhenya for the thing that came out of his mouth the first time he and Sid slept together in Miami.✷(canon setting)

i think abt this fic all the time

mattdrai:

so is the longing by dog juice - word count: 44,669 ✷After being forced to take suppressants for a year, Matthew's body is a mess. He has an excruciatingly painful heat every two weeks, and there's no medication to help him.To make matters worse, he's been traded to the Edmonton Oilers. Now, not only does he have to deal with his collapsing body, he also has to contend with Draisaitl, who has made it pretty clear he hates Matthew's scent. If the universe could give him a fucking break, that'd be great.✷ (ABO)

mattdrai fic of all time. in my opinion.

sea change by andthreequarts - word count 33,596 ✷“Wait, is that what’s happening here?” Matthew pushes forward, gets close. “Is that why you were being weird?” “Shut up,” Draisaitl growls, backing up. “Oh no,” Matthew laughs. “This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. Leon Draisaitl, an alpha’s alpha. Who would have guessed it, you’re into an omega with barely any scent?”✷ (ABO)

misc:

vince dunn / adam larsson (seattle kraken) serenity in those deep waters by angry_geno_is_score - word count: 114,312 ✷In his second season playing for the Seattle Kraken, Vince Dunn becomes sick with drop withdrawal. When it comes out that he's lied on his paperwork and hasn't had a Dom for over a year, he has no choice but to accept being assigned to a Dom on the team or risk giving up hockey.✷ (TW: past abuse. BDSM AU)

love!!! i love bdsm au's so much!!! ive reread this fic multiple times :3

nicklas backstom / alexander ovechkin (washington capitals) you and me, drenched in green by xihale - word count: 17,710 ✷Nicky’s an omega with a heat problem. Ovi volunteers as tribute.✷ (ABO)

jamie drysdale / trevor zegras (anahiem ducks) caught up now by canary -word count: 20,261 ✷“I do want you to bite me,” Trevor corrected. “And I also want you to hit it raw.”✷ (ABO)

morgan barrson/josh morrissey (winnipeg jets) win some and lose some, baby by symphony7inAmajor - word count: 11,223 ✷“Morgan,” Josh says, his voice sharp and firm. There’s a glint in his eyes that Morgan doesn’t recognize. “Sit.” If Morgan thought his face was hot before, that’s nothing compared to the fire that scorches his cheeks now. Sit. Like—Like he’s a—✷ (canon setting)

this author has sm rlly good other fics as well!!

travis konecny/nolan patrick (flyers...i guess!) Someone Else's Solid Ground - Linsky - word count: 21,757 ✷Nolan’s body has never been his friend.✷ (canon setting)

matthew tkachuk / leon draisaitl / connor mcdavid i'll tell you when to stop - dog juice - word count: 39,640 ✷Matthew is too reckless to be responsible for his own heart. Fucking and falling for Leon? Stupid. Fucking and falling for Connor? Idiotic. Doing that one after the other without either Oiler knowing? Yeah. Matthew's fucked.✷ (canon setting)

rewired my brain a little ngl

gen - san jose sharks & washington capitals catch and release by McSpot - word count: 23,805 ✷If a player gets forced onto the opposing team's bench during play, that player officially becomes a member of their team. There's a whole system to catching players, with strategies determining who the prime targets are and the best way to catch them. Nobody expected Mario to be caught.✷ (canon AU setting)

how this fic doesnt have 100000 kudos and 1000000000 spin off fics i have no idea

sidney crosby / claude giroux unless you wanna come along by anonymous - word count: 8677 ✷"We beat you," Sid says, high on the sheer triumph of it. "Yeah, and how much of the game did you spend begging the refs for it?" Claude jeers, quiet and vicious. "Hardly a fucking win, when you've fucking acted like that, whining and bitching and moa—" Sid kisses him, cutting off the stream of venom.✷ (canon setting)

leon draisaitl / Artūrs Šilovs go ahead and try a little crazy on me by lagerlout - word count: 4062 ✷Leon huffs out a laugh before he can help himself. Goddamn, this fucking goalie is cute. He doesn’t know if he’s trying to be cute but he is.✷ (canon setting, winners room)

fic that makes me go YEEAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also now has a sequel which slaps

jonathan drouin / nathan mackinnon (colorado avalanche) but this is how it is by bruinss - word count: 103,314 ✷The universe gives, and the universe takes, and Jo is left at the end of ten years with a lot less than when he’d started them.✷ (BDSM AU, canon setting)

this author has a lot of really very very very good jo / nate fics i recommend every single one of them !!

sidney crosby / jaromir jagr (pittsburgh penguins) summer to your heart by deastar - word count: 200,575 ✷When it seals, Jaromír feels the old, familiar tug of a soulbond for the first time in years. It feels like having a dislocated joint reduced: a relief, and a sense that something missing has been replaced. But terribly painful at the same time. Sidney is curled up into Jaromír’s side, sinking fast toward sleep. Some impulse Jaromír can’t explain makes him ask his new bondmate, “You feel the bond?” “Mm-hmm.” Sidney’s eyes are closed – his eyelashes look very dark and soft. “How does it feel?” “Good,” Sidney exhales, and just before he drops off, Jaromír catches a psychic whisper of It feels like not being lonely. “Oh, kick me in the balls, why don’t you,” Jaromír says under his breath.✷ (soul / psychic bond, canon AU )

hrpf of all time. i think. in my opinion. there is also a sidgeno fic set in the same kind of AU by this author which is very good but this one...........oaugh....

okay thats it bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[solitaireseven]

when my dad says he wants to see Florida and Edmonton in the finals for like, hockey reasons and I'm in it for the potential fic

[rattkachuk]

💛 mattdrai after the scf

💛 reunion kiss / relief - ao3 link !!!!!

It’s a late summer in Ontario, and golden sunshine filters through the curtains through one of Connor and Lauren’s many guest rooms, bird song accompanying the breeze through an open window. Leon is sunburnt and its a few days out from Connor’s wedding, and with the amount of events and activities he’d been a part of as one of the groomsmen it was almost enough to make him feel as tired as he was during hockey season. He had to allow himself an hour or so to just do nothing but mindlessly scroll Instagram in the quiet of his room.

He’s pretty sure everybody staying here is doing the exact same thing, there’s some faint voices from the dock on the lake, someone might be watching TV out in the living room, the doorbell rings (probably another McDavid-Kyle family member) and Leon hears a single set of footsteps go to answer the door. It’s all muffled background noise and several minutes pass without Leon thinking much of any of it, until a text pops up on his screen from Connor.

Connor: hey. don’t be mad. he wouldn’t take no for an answer and he rly wants to see you.

There’s no time to process before there’s a gentle knock at the door.

Leon’s fight or flight kicks, seemingly cancelling each other out so he feels like a deer in the headlights and can do nothing but sit still on the bed. “Yah?

The door handle turns and Matthew is standing on the other side. Fucking perfectly endearing smile on his face, and Leon feels his heart twist.

“Hey,” Matthew speaks first, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder as he rocks back and forth on his feet in the doorway.

Leon blinks, finally finding words, “What are you doing here?”

“Uh. Connor’s wedding?”

“Connor didn’t invite you.”

“I was supposed to be your plus one.”

Leon bites his lip and gives a slight shake to his head before making himself get off the bed, walking over to tug Matthew in by the elbow of his sweater—a Puma sweater that Leon had been missing for months now.

The door clicks shut and Matthew lets his bag fall to the floor, “You don’t want me here?”

“Matthew. I don’t know.”

“Okay…well, you haven’t answered a single call or text from me since June, and I already had the tickets booked, if you didn’t want me here you should have fucking said something. How am I supposed to…I don’t know what to do either, this is new territory for me, too, y’know? But I can’t keep waiting around. I need you to talk to me, Leon. So, I'm sorry if this is the only way I can get a conversation with you.”

Leon walks away to create distance between them, going as far as the walls of the room will let him as he buries his face in his hands. His chest hurts while his head is swimming, and an ache that hasn’t left since that final game 7 buzzer surges to the surface and it makes him feel sick. Underneath it all, there’s the bitter taste of regret like bile in his throat. He wasn’t there for Matthew. Wasn’t able to be a normal fucking partner and celebrate with him because he was too busy nursing one of the worst pains he’d ever felt. Something so gnawing and deep that left him feeling empty most days, and so distant from those he loved. So distant that even with Matthew here in front of him, it's hard to look at him.

When he turns back towards him, there’s tears in Matthew’s eyes and he’s not even trying to stop them as they track down his cheeks.

“I’m not sorry for winning,” Matthew tells him, voice thick.

“No. Matthew. You shouldn’t be,” Leon sniffs and takes a minute to choose his words before continuing, “You deserved it, you deserved every second of it. It just. It hurts. You know?”

“I do know,” Matthew looks towards the ceiling and laughs, dry and devoid of any real humour, “This whole time I just kept thinking about how special it would be to celebrate this whole fucking with you, and I can never do that because I know exactly what it feels like.”

“Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Matthew agrees with pursed lips.

Guilt raises it’s hand for a turn in Leon’s sea of emotions, bustling to the front of the line as he thinks about Matthew’s unanswered texts in his phone. The strings of ‘I love you’s’ from that week of partying with the cup, the ‘just checking in’ and ‘i miss you’s’.

“I’m sorry I haven’t answered you,” Leon says, looking down at his feet as the shame burns hot on his neck, “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to be what you need. I still don’t know if I can be or if…if we…”

Matthew is the one to close the distance, his hands on Leon’s shoulders causing him to look up with a shock.

“Hey. Stop. I just need you, Leo. I don’t need you to be anything more than you have been, not right now,” Matthew moves a hand to the side of Leon’s face, and there’s desperation in his blue eyes, “We’re getting through this, though. And we’re doing it together now, okay? Come on.”

Something drains from Leon a little as he watches Matthew’s eyes, and the ache under his skin grows. Grows until he feels like he needs to pull away again, hide in some dark corner of the world where Matthew can’t find him until he can fix himself, but then Matthew’s hand gives his shoulder a gentle shake and a different sensation starts to dull the hurt. The touch spreads some rays of warmth to his soul like the forgiving sunshine that curls around them both.

There's a new feeling that he can place almost instantly. Relief. He thinks that maybe the cure for all the hurt and the pain was the exact thing he was avoiding. It was Matthew, of course it was.

Leon kisses Matthew, slow and quiet and different than it had ever been before. He pulls him into his arms and Matthew sighs against him, the lines of their bodies pressed together. Matthew had always carried some infectious energy, always able to crawl under Leon’s skin and make a home there with his smug smile and caring heart. It seeped into him now, making Leon feel the warmest and most content he’d been all summer.

When he pulls back, Leon hides his face on Matthew’s shoulder while the other runs his fingers through Leon’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Leon breaths quietly against Matthew’s neck.

Matthew’s arms tighten around him, “Me too. We’ve got this, yah?”

Leon nods, and he believes him.

[fleurywiththesave]

just had to write a silly little something

The call comes sooner than Leon was expecting. He's just made it through the door of his hotel room, hasn't even dropped his bag yet, but he answers anyway.

"That was a lame-ass punch."

"Not like yours was any better," Leon points out, grinning despite himself. "I never fight, what's your excuse?"

"I'll have you know that I have become a model citizen both on and off the ice," Matthew says haughtily. "People even complain about it on Twitter."

"It's X now, Matty."

"Yeah, that's fucking stupid, I'm not calling it that."

Leon shucks off his game day suit while Matthew keeps rambling about what a bad business move it is to change your company's name after it's become successful.

"Are you home yet?" he asks when Matthew pauses for a breath.

"Haven't even left the arena. I had to do team media and an interview for Amazon. Did they let you off the hook tonight?"

"I made Connor do it, but now I have to let them follow me to the grocery store." He can tell that Matthew is making a face even though he can't see him.

"Buy something wildly out of character just to mess with their heads." He draws in another breath, but doesn't say anything else.

"Matthew?"

"Sorry. I just—I wish you could be there when I got home. I'm not saying you should be," he continues in a rush before Leon can remind him why they decided it would be a terrible (horrible, awful, worst ever, Davo and Barky would team up to kill them) idea to stay with each other right now, "but it's still a bummer. You're in Florida, you're supposed to be there."

"I know," Leon assures him. "I'm going to feel the same way in Edmonton." Matthew hums agreeably and Leon feels a tiny bit of tension he didn't even realize he was carrying relax. They can do this, they can get through this. It's going to suck and not in the good way, but at some point on the other side of it, they'll be just fine.

"Good game," he says. "We'll kick your asses next time."

"Tell Connor the bandaid looked stupid," Matthew responds.

"Love you, Matty."

"Love you too."

[three-headed-monster]

who cares if the oilers or the panthers win, this is a win first and foremost for the hockey rpf writers out there

[sincerelymarner]

insp. / photo credit: gerry thomas

[drysaladandketchup]

5 mattdrai for the writing meme please

I wasn't entirely sure how I wanted to handle this prompt, but I hope it's still to your liking, anon :)

5. things you didn’t say at all

"Hey."

Matthew really isn't in the mood for this right now. He was having a good time being back home in St. Louis for his first All-Stars, talking to some of the best players in the league, watching the skills competition, going out with the guys, and now the game is in a couple hours--

"Tkachuk."

Yeah, no, he's real. That's Draisaitl yelling at him. Well, he isn't yelling, but since he apparently is so hard pressed to even be around Matthew, it'll probably escalate to that soon.

I'd probably get off the ice.

Even if it was a joke--and maybe Matthew is willing to entertain the idea that it had been, coming from mister 'taken out of context'--it makes sharing the locker room awkward.

The thing is, he kind of likes Draisaitl. Admires his game, anyways, even if he is playing for fucking Edmonton. If Matthew had actually been drafted by the Oilers back then, like he thought, they probably could have been friends.

If he's being honest with himself, he kind of likes Draisaitl beyond hockey, too. Because he'd watched Leon's interviews, checked out his Instagram a little--he was curious, sue him--and because McDavid talks a lot when they're training at Gary's. Also, come on, Matthew's not blind. He hates the concept of him in Edmonton, but it's not fair to say Matthew genuinely hates the guy.

Right now though, this may be the first time he's heard Draisaitl ever actually say his name, and he wishes it was anyone else.

"Hey. Hang on." Draisaitl is in front of him now, stony and unreadable, and only then does Matthew realise like a fool that he has actually stopped. They're face-to-face, alone in one of the maintenance halls, the hustle and bustle of the arena a distant hum.

Matthew stares at him, not unkindly, because his mom taught him some damn manners, but not openly friendly, either. Not until he can get a gauge on what Draisaitl wants. Leon. It's Leon. That feels like the only thing Matthew really knows about the guy, sometimes.

"Did you want something?" Matthews asks coolly, leaning against the bricks with his hands shoved deep in the pocket of his sweater.

Leon glances down the hall, up to the buzzing florescent lights, running fingers through his hair. It's hard not to follow his tongue when it pokes out to wet his lips. Damn it, he has no business looking this good.

"I wanted to talk to you," he finally says, and even after all this time Matthew is still caught off guard by how soft he sounds.

"Talk to me?" Matthew narrows his eyes. "I didn't think you'd even want to be seen with me."

Which is a shame, because they'd look pretty damn good together. In his opinion, anyways.

Leon doesn't take the bait. "I saw that interview you did."

"Buddy, you're going to have to be more specific. I've done a few lately. It's the All-Stars."

"Before the break. I don't remember with who. NBC, I think? They asked you about me. What I said."

He doesn't need to elaborate. Matthew raises a brow, scratches the sudden itch at his neck. The air in the hallway is stuffy and warm.

"What about it? I said you were a great player."

"After that, though."

Leon doesn't need to elaborate on that, either. The intensity of his stare does the job well enough.

What did Matthew say again? I probably can't answer that or he'll get mad at me.

Yeah, because the only thing running through his head when he heard what Leon said was, Well damn that sucks because I wanted to find out if he fucks better than he fights. He remembers biting his lip because his brain unhelpfully supplied him with some tempting ideas that were not exactly family friendly. He's twenty-two, he's got hormones, what's he going to do?

But he was pretty sure declaring he wants to fuck a rival player wasn't going to win him any favours with anyone, let alone Leon. And maybe that comment irked him a little in the moment, but no one's opinion matters to Matthew more than his own. Accidentally outing himself during an interview was not high on his list of career moves, so he'd played it safe, locked it all down, and assumed that'd be the end of it.

"I didn't say anything," Matthew says.

This feels strange. Leon doesn't look pissed, he looks curious. Piqued, like he's waiting to hear something specific.

"I know."

"So what's your problem?"

"What were you going to say?"

Matthew cocks his head. "What, you thought I was going to burst into tears because the German Gretzky doesn't like me?"

Except he knows Leon's not an asshole. Not all the time, anyways. Not off the ice. Which makes it fucking hard to just blow him off.

"You were all over us that game," Leon says. "Kass was pissed. You're a fucking pest, what the hell did you expect me to say?"

"Is this you trying to apologise? Because if it is, you're doing a hell of a job."

"You never hold back on anything."

"Why the hell does it matter?" Christ, it's like Leon is trying to pick a fight.

"You looked like you had something to say." There's a hint of suspicion--of implication--in Leon's voice that makes Matthew tense.

"You think I'm an asshole, so I don't know why you care."

Maybe this is a prank. Maybe he figured it all out and he's waiting for Matthew to break down and declare, I think I could fall in love with you if you let me.

Leon shuts his eyes briefly, shoulders rising and falling as he takes one long, deep breath through his nose.

"I didn't mean it how it sounded."

"Yeah, I heard." Matthew's stomach rolls in ways it shouldn't. "I don't know what other context you want me to take it in, though. It's not even a big deal, anyways. I mean, yeah, it kind of sucks finding out a guy you like thinks you're a piece of shit, but it's whatever, right?"

"I didn't call you--I don't think you're--"

Groaning, Leon thumps his head against the wall and drags a hand down his face. He takes a minute to compose himself, staring up at the ceiling, then down between his feet, face screwed up in thought. Finally, he looks back to Matthew.

"You like me, eh?"

It's been a long weekend; Matthew's too tired to backpedal and try to make up some excuse. Part of him just wants to drop it out in the open and be done with it. Just come out and say, Yeah, the 'I want to take you home' kind of like. The 'I want you to make me scream' kind of like.

Just to see what Leon would do. At the very least, he probably wouldn't punch Matthew. He's not a glove-dropper, after all, and he's not so scary without a stick in his hand.

He tries to imagine Leon's wide eyed, slack-jawed expression. Maybe the little 'Oh' that would slip through his lips. Because yeah, 'Oh' would be about right. It would be the most embarrassing conversation of Matthew's life; more embarrassing than when he came out to his family and Brady asked him to rank his favourite players by 'fuckability'.

"It doesn't matter." Matthew shakes his head, clears his throat, looking anywhere but at Leon. "Look, man, let's just go back to beating each other up on the ice and pretend this never happened, okay?"

"No, hey, don't"--Leon grabs Matthew's arm as he pushes off the wall, fully ready to disappear and never talk about this again--"It does matter. Tell me."

Matthew would rather go dunk his head under the sink and rub the embarrassing flush from his cheeks. He's hot all over, from the beating in his chest to the blood in his veins. Where Leon's touching tingles with an intimacy they've never had. It may be the first time they've touched without the aggression of a game to justify it.

And damn, Leon's looking at him like he can read Matthew's mind, or trying to get Matthew to read a little of his own. It's all heat and intensity and a look that says, I don't think you hate me, and I don't want you to think I hate you.

"What do you want from me?" Matthew says. "Why's this so important to you?"

It's possible he imagines the way Leon's eyes flit down and back. They're pressed almost right against each other now. That must be why Matthew's overheating, struggling to catch a full breath.

"i just want to know..." Leon swallows the rest of his words as he takes half a step closer; a little too close to be innocent. That brick wall of a chest is pressed up against Matthew's arm, nearly crowding him against the wall.

"Know what?" Matthew barely gets the words out.

It's scary to wonder. Ideas are forming in his head--excited, hopeful ones. Matthew won't pretend he's never wondered about Leon; what he could do with him. To him. How his mouth tastes, how his hands feel, what it'd be like having him over and under and around and inside.

And Leon is looking at Matthew like he genuinely cares how he feels. Like maybe, just maybe, he's thinking, too. Wanting.

Wouldn't that just be the biggest fucking drama of Matthew's life?

There's still too much they're not saying.

Neither of them gets the chance.

Something clatters down the hall, followed by the echo of voices.

Leon lets go abruptly, hand dropping to his side. "Shit, sorry. I should, um... Never mind. Just... forget it."

He spins and walks away, just like that, shoulders hunched and hands shoved in his pockets. For a guy who never backs down from a challenge, it looks a little too much like running away.

But it's not like Matthew can call him a coward when he can't even get his own voice to work. Breathless, he slumps against the wall and tries to piece together what just happened, how they managed to say everything and nothing. It feels like he's been through a tornado.

Fuck, he can't deal with whatever this is right now. He cannot be thinking with his dick come game time, let alone worry about whatever the hell his heart is doing.

He stands alone in the hall for a good five minutes, waiting for his nerves to settle, until he finally has the courage to head back, falling into the bustle of players and staff and media.

He avoids Leon in the locker room as best he can. On the ice, too. They don't talk and they keep enough bodies between them on the bench.

Once this is over, they can crack open that can of worms again, figure out what's going on. But there's more important things right now.

They play the All-Star game like they're bitter rivals.

Matthew feeds him a slick pass that turns into a goal.

He skates off without a celly, and Leon gives him a "fuck you" with a smirk and a tongue between his teeth.

But it's fun. Really fun. And despite it all, they're both smiling at the end. Leon's smiling at him.

And Matthew wants to believe that means something.

[claraxbarton]

Gold Rush

(yeah I decided fuck it, just post it)

It is DONE. POSTED. COMPLETE!

Thanks everyone for all the support and comments and messages and notes over the last EIGHT MONTHS???? Cannot believe you or I had the patience for that.

I'm setting that verse aside for now - there are obvs opportunities for future epilogues and things - but I've got a few other WIPs to focus on.

(That said, I DO have requests open and will totally write things requested)

Thank you again everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeee

[solitaireseven]

draisaitl making all these boneheaded blind passes because it hurts too much to actually turn around and see matthew chewing on his mouthguard

[rattkachuk]

whats your comfort go to mattdrai fic

so hard to pick just one! these three are ones that i often go back to reread and are absolutely comfort material at this point. i think about mattdrai in these universes so often you don't even know <3

"Saving the Best for Last" by puckingtrash - the first mattdrai fic i ever read and it holds a sweet little spot in my heart. my life can be separated into who i was before reading this and after. "head above water" by yourblues - literally changed my brain the firat time i read it. a. work. of. art. matthew's headspace in this story!!! "collide the spaces that divide us" by bropunzeling - the equivalent of being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold evening, it just makes me feel soooo mushy gushy and i adore it

[fleurywiththesave]

for your Tumblr request Matt/Drai story on AO3, can you do one that has Leon telling Matt about his fantasies for their future - marriage, babies, etc.

Or one seeing the other with their baby and it gets them hot

First of all, I am weak as hell for sweet conversations about the future, so jot that down. I love this prompt, thank you for sending it! This is basically a sequel to my little post-game 7 ficlet.

They’re still out by the pool. The rest of the family started calling it quits one by one a couple hours ago, but Matthew doesn’t want to miss a single second of this. He can sleep after the cup’s been picked up in the morning, to be spirited away to Benny. For now, he’s more than content to be exactly where he is – lying on his back listening to the sounds of a St. Louis summer night, feet dangling in the cool water, looking at Leon look at the Stanley Cup.

He’s been very careful not to touch it. Someone had almost accidentally nudged him into it earlier in the day and Dad absolutely barked at them, then stonily informed everyone in the vicinity that Leon would be winning it next year and nobody had his permission to interfere with that. Leon had turned bright red. Matthew had furtively texted Davo to make sure he knew his marching orders.

He still isn’t touching it, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off of it in awhile. He doesn’t look sad, or regretful, or jealous. He looks thoughtful.

“Would you two like a moment alone?” Matthew asks. Leon reaches out and gently swats him on the face without looking away.

“Says the man who would’ve made out with it at center ice if there weren’t guys still waiting to lift it,” he snarks. Matthew catches his hand before he can pull it away and twines their fingers together.

“I want to put a baby there,” Leon tells him.

Matthew pauses.

“Well, Gads might not notice right away if we borrow one of his,” he says.

“Matty.”

It’s quiet, amused, long-suffering, loving. It makes Matthew’s chest go soft and light. He rolls over so he can see Leon better.

“Tell me more,” he says softly.

Leon is still looking at the cup, but his hand tightens around Matthew’s.

“It doesn’t have to be a baby. It could be a kid. Or kids.”

“Yeah?” Matthew can feel the smile stealing over his face. “How many?”

“Three,” Leon says immediately.

“That’s a good number,” Matthew agrees. “Keeps everybody on their toes.”

“One offense, one defense, one goalie.”

“And who exactly is going to take responsibility for raising a goalie?” Matthew asks. Leon laughs.

“We can call in reinforcements for that one.”

God, Matthew loves to hear him laugh. He loves to watch the way his eyes crinkle. He loves how surprised people sometimes seem to be by the fact that Leon is capable of laughing.

Matthew stopped being surprised by him awhile ago, for the most part, but he can’t say he saw this particular conversation coming. He scoots over and lets his head rest in Leon’s lap. “What else?”

Leon picks up Matthew’s left hand and traces his ring finger. Matthew shivers, just a little bit.

“I was thinking Mallorca,” Leon says. “That way everyone has to travel, so they can all complain equally.”

“At the house?”

“Or on the beach.”

The beach at sunset, Matthew thinks. Taryn would love an excuse to be barefoot for a wedding. So would Dad, for that matter.

“No tuxedos,” he murmurs. His eyelids are finally getting heavy, despite his best efforts.

“Of course not,” Leon says, combing his fingers through Matthew’s hair. “But we’ll make sure Brady and Emma’s baby has a bowtie.”

Matthew doesn’t sleep. He drifts, the most content he’s ever been in his life, while Leon paints him a picture of their future.