#ffs why was it such a STRUGGLE

[altruistic-meme]

*crawling out of february covered in dirt and soaked in blood*

i finally finished my event fics <3

[pleaseinsertwittyurl]

There are always 2 sides.

The discourse around Louis and Lestat being a victim and abuser and nothing more drives me insane.

Something i don't think enough people remember is that the very same reason the fight began in 1×05 (lestat grabbing claudia by the throat when she tries to "take louis away") we see Louis himself do to her in 1×07 when she tries to get Louis to burn Lestat.

They BOTH would harm her rather than live in a world without the other. They are both guilty of abusing her and each other.

There is an implication that a good deal of time passed between Louis and Lestat meeting and the church. Louis expresses that he shares himself with Lestat in a way he only had with Paul. I would assume that goes both ways, to a degree. We know Louis knows at least enough about Nicki to discourage Claudia poking that wound. He also clearly knows that the threat of leaving is his most powerful weapon against Lestat.

Mental abuse is abuse. And Louis abused Lestat mentally for years. Shaming him, ridiculing him, shutting him out, manipulating him into making Claudia (a traumatic moment for him, whether Louis understands the depths of it or not) by promising to give him what he's being denying him, promising to never put him through what he fears the most.

Louis admits to purposely making Lestat suffer. He admits he was warned that Claudia would suffer and he wanted her anyway because he needed to feel redeemed. He is not innocent. He is not a trapped, weak victim. He made choices to hurt both Lestat and Claudia time and time again.

Does this justify Lestat's actions in 1×05? Obviously not. But we now know Louis was not willing to stop the fight. He taunted Lestat the same way he taunted the Alderman. He was unleashing years of frustrations just as Lestat was. His priority was not to protect Claudia, it was to hurt Lestat, consequences be damned.

I hate the drop scene as much as the next person and Lestat has admitted he will never earn forgiveness for what he did. But if you view Louis as some squeaky clean victim who was manipulated, trapped, and abused by Lestat you are missing so much of what this show is conveying.

We will always tend to paint ourselves as the hero of our own story. It is hard to accept your faults or that you hurt people you love. It is much easier to shift that blame on to someone else, to frame them as the villian. But life is not usually that black and white. Claudia had harsh words for them both in her diary, even before they got to Europe, for a reason. They both made hurtful mistakes with her, both treated her like a pawn in their relationship instead of a person, both harmed her, took away her choice, never prioritized her.

That is the great tragedy. That she never had a choice and was not allowed to be her own person. And in the end, they both are responsible for her misery and her death. That's what makes the reunion scene so important. They have been grieving her and carrying that guilt alone, all the while longing for the comfort of the other for 70+ years. Louis has found clarity in his memories, he has accepted his role in their suffering, he has seen Lestat's perspective more fully. Lestat is broken, totally consumed with that guilt and grief. Both know that although they cannot change what they've done, they can forgive the other, even if they can't forgive themselves. They can love each other despite everything they've done to one another because they cannot stop loving each other. But now they can try to rebuild that love from the rubble.

[johnskleats]

hey so do you guys remember how zuko was deemed worthy and blessed with the true nature of fire by the guardians of light themselves and became 100x the firebender he was after, with a newfound understanding and oneness with his element

kind of like how katara handled the moon and ocean spirit with her own hands and was blessed with unmatched waterbending power and oneness with her element and also spirit water but get this, also the healing ability to bring someone back from certain death

y'all remember that

[ragnarssons]

people out there pretending the watcher dudes are struggling wittle poow artists having to live by capitalist rules :((((( to justify their dumb ass move... y'all are cute, i guess.

[katsdynam1ght]

… bkdk oneshot soon… if the stars align… bkdk oneshot…

[the-golden-comet]

I should be sleeping but my OCs are running around in my brain at 3:00am like a cat performing zoomies.

[fulminatethesun]

"Dont punish people for asking questions" "I am brainwashed!" "Nobody taught me-" at some point ignorance does become insulting I think

[uriekukistan]

nothing going my way today i fear

[iamthepulta]

i did it u_u

[leoluvsgreenday]

*sighs*

yknow what pisses me off?? people who give me dirty looks. like bitch? the fuck did i dooooo?? okay so this afternoon, i was minding my own fucking business and this old man was staring at my hands, because i was stimming, and frowning at my keychains and green day shirt. BRO WHAT THE FUCK. old people are always like "dont stare!" but as soon as they fucking see a scene/emo/lgbtqia+/not caucasian person its okay for them to stare? LIKE DUDEEEEE WHAT THE SHIT IM MINDING MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!!! the side eyes and double takes i get from wearing green day merch, eyeliner, pins, stimming and literally just being me are fucking crazy. like more than half the time theyre old white people.

also, completely unrelated but my grandma slapped/hit my little brother and told him to stop being rude for blocking his nose when she farted. she couldnt smell her fart but then again she cant smell her own fucking perfume so she puts on so fucking much its not even funny and everyone in the room is dying its so intense and overstimulates me ngl....

[immortalsins]

ive never had such an emotional rollercoaster of a day what the fuck

[pluto-00]

I hate when i’m interested in a character/fandom and I go on tumblr and they have 0 black reader fanfics.

gonna start writing them myself atp.

[jtl-fics]

i feel that FF is too fucking anxious to even consider sex, with anyone. like... 'oh my god someone would have to see me NAKED for that? what if i make a weird noise or i finish too quickly and they make fun of me? what if i do it wrong and they hate me?!' haha i love this poor sweet fool so much. -@stabbyfoxandrew

FF isn't even going to KNOW he's DATING someone until like a year in and by then he's like "WHAT DO I DO???"

Depending on any awakening feelings the options are:

He's brave about it and says the truth: might result in either the world's most AWKWARD conversation, a slap to the face, and maybe a reputation as a Lady Killer that he is unaware of.

He's a coward about it and tries to keep going until Andrew pulls the full high school with Aaron model out of his back pocket and gets the other person to give up. Andrew thinks that person was just pushing their feelings onto FF (which they were because FF at no point was like: "yeah we're dating") and maybe saw one too many instances of that person trying to initiate something FF was not comfy with so he MAY have gone a little overboard

He actually has feelings for them and prepares to NEVER mention it EVER again but basically has a freak out because "FUCK WHAT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY?"

When / if sex comes up in his relationships I think his performance anxiety would absolutely play a part in it and he goes to the most pro-sex person he knows for advice.

It's just that....that person is Nicky Hemmick.

His plight will never end.

[witch128chick]

So i was watching Castlevania today

And this line literally SCREAMED "i'm a Blight"

I hope it's not just me-

[kenmahive]

stumbled upon a ship from a pretty old fandom and ive reached the point of looking into fanfiction.net because they dont have enough fanfics in ao3

[zroqravity]

My mother watched a few episodes of a dating show about autistic people and decided that she is now qualified enough to tell me that I am, infact, NOT autistic because I am "not weird enough" and "too high functioning". Keep in mind this is like 30 minutes after I had an autistic breakdown due to her and my father not understanding ( or even trying to understand) what I'm trying to say to them ( for like the 5th time in the past few days) WHICH THEY PROBABLY DONT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?! MY BRAIN WORKS DIFFERENTLY FOR THEIRS