#ff: ofcosmicwonder

[maidenxfmight]

closed starter for @ofcosmicwonder​

“Look, look, look!” Kara practically fell against Donna as she plopped down onto the couch next to her. She spun the bracelet against her wrist, the blues and golds shifting in the light as it went. Her chest felt full. It was like the first time she’d seen someone alive after pulling them from peril. It was like poetry and friendship and love and all of those things that made her want to yell from rooftops. She leaned her head against Donna’s shoulder and sighed, instead.

There were so many things about Earth that hadn’t settled yet, but that moment felt right. “I’m...gosh, is it weird that I’m nervous? No regrets, just...an actual, Kryptonian courting.”

She wished her dad was there.

Everything was in place. Almost. “Now I’m all settled. We have to get you figured out. Tell me...” She hesitated, still so unsure. “Tell me about Illyana.”

[kxtepryde]

@ofcosmicwonder​ sent “i’ve missed you.”

“Stop.”

Kitty couldn’t tell if she meant it, or if it was a reflex. Years had passed where the thought of Donna made her teeth clench, had her pacing the room, made it hard to swallow around all the questions. Once upon a time, Kitty would have crossed the space between them with a laugh and an ‘I’m right here, silly.’ Once upon a time she didn’t feel a sharp pain in her chest when she thought of her.

All the storybooks spoke of heartbreak between two lovers. So few wrote about what it felt like to lose a friend. Somewhere between tucking themselves into the corners of comic book stores and ducking around wannabe villains, sharing their hopes and their dreams, the ties that bind wound just as tightly in friendships as they did in any other relationship. Donna would laugh over Kitty’s latest Peter, and Kitty would lament over Donna’s latest loss, and the two of them were friends. The knife that severed those ties was as sharp as any heartbreak.

It wasn’t just a reflex. It was self-defense. It was hurt, and anger and loss and confusion all in one. Because it only took one night leant over various superhero comics in DisComics talking about right and wrong and the in betweens, and Kitty knew Donna was good. She thought she understood.

“Do you remember when we use to hang out in the comics shop after closing? I’d gather up all the Yoda plushies and...” Kitty flipped her phone around in her hand over and again; it was liable to fall right through her. “I miss that. I miss you, too, Donna. I just...don’t know who I’m missing, anymore.”

[maidenxfmight]

@ofcosmicwonder​ sent “ if you think you got some obligation to be here, you don’t. ”

“I...I know.” Kara looked up, brows pulling together. Her fingers tugged at her sleeves, and she tried to see Donna, honestly see her, but it had been feeling harder. She could see miles, through walls and dirt and stone. But her abilities meant nothing when it came to her friends. There was something in the way Donna moved, in the way her voice curled over words in ways they wouldn’t normally. There was something, and Kara couldn’t see it.

She leaned back against the counter, facing Donna entirely. The kitchen was something of a mess, a testament to Kara’s latest baking attempts. The apartment was cluttered in a way that felt like home; blankets scattered across the couch, her favorite throw blanket tossed on the recliner, a mug of cooling coffee on the coffee table. This should be a comfortable moment, and granted Kara had been zipping off to Cincinnati more often than she cared to admit, this was still home.

She still belonged there. With Donna. Donna who had always been there for her. Donna with her smiles and her jokes and her smirks that Kara hated but loved all the same. Donna who was her friend, who was obviously going through something.

“You know you’re not an obligation to me, right?”

[maidenxfmight]

i will not bow

Tagging: @ofcosmicwonder, @daisyquakes, @ofalexdanvers & Kara When: The day the siege started Where: Central Park What: Donna tries to buy time for Alex to cure Kara. Donna loses. But so does Kara. Warnings: Violence, injury.

KARA: It wasn't enough, it wasn't enough it wasn't–

Kara's feet hit the pavement with a resounding crack, bricks and dust lifting up around her. She'd always been so concerned with restraint; carelessness led to destruction. Destruction led to fear. At one point in time, that might have meant something to her. There were those who proclaimed her a god, not to which they should pray, but rather contain.

They were the same people who wrote slurs on signs and screamed "roaches go home" from street corners. The very park in which she stood had played host to protests and anti-protests, to those who held up petitions and canvassed for hate. She'd once stood by the fountain with a notebook and asked for their thoughts and now all she wanted was to see it burn.

Dust and steam and melting bronze as the Angel of the Waters collapsed into the pool below. Her eyes lit red and she took one step forward before someone landed in front of her.

(No, not Donna. Just leave, just go, you don't want to–)

"Move, Donna."

DONNA: The tide of the news rose overnight and then the dam broke. Supergirl flying proud above the ruins. Destruction and chaos caused by the same hands that held a brush and painted with gentle strokes the beauty of a long-dead world. Something dark had infected Kara. Something dark like the demon Darkchylde that had controlled Illyana. Alex told her that it was some kind of kryptonite and the older Danvers sister had been working ceaselessly with Lena Luthor to find some way to reverse its effects, but time was running out. Each passing moment led to more violence inflicted under the crest of the House of El, and Donna knew each moment would only push Kara farther from her reach.

Donna had to reach her, or Donna had to stop her.

Shield strapped to her back, silver bracers on forearms, the same black and silver uniform that she'd first donned when fighting Darkchylde. Her lasso sat in pieces on the shrine in her room. The sword still hung on her wall. Whatever was happening, this was still Kara, and she would never raise her sword against Kara. No matter what the cost might be.

Donna landed as Kara's eyes glowed with a fire darker than any she'd seen before in the crystal blues that had always held a kindness and love deeper than any she'd seen in another. Even her voice didn't sound the same.

"No." A breath. "I can't. I won't."

KARA: Donna stood defiant and Kara burned. Her hands shook, her foothold on the Earth tentative at best.

There'd been something burning inside of her for so long. It had lit the moment her mother had but her on her pod and said go, even as the words 'let me stay' danced silently on the end of her tongue. She'd smothered it, stuffed it into every small space she could. She'd tried to shape it into something more suitable, let it out in bits and pieces every time her fist connected with a training mannikin, or the unfortunate villain of the week.

Donna helped temper it, once. She pushed and she gave in just the right amounts. She learned her language, said she loved her. And it always meant something, even if the pronunciation would never be quite right. They were sisters.

(They still were. Kara scrambled for purchase, even as her body took another step forward. She clawed at any logical thought she could find because ukiemodh w rrip eh donna and she always would. It mattered that Donna tried. Her traditions didn't have to be everything, so many of them were wrong. And Donna was right, Donna was– )

No. Because Donna didn't get the pronunciation right, she signed the Accords, she didn't get it. She only ever played at understanding, and Kara was done accepting it as enough. She was done accepting any of it as enough. Anger coiled hot and restless in her chest and there was no reason to hold it back anymore.

"Then I'll go through you." The heat behind her eyes pooled and released, uncaring that Donna was between her and the fountain.

DONNA: Kara took another step, but Donna held firm. An Amazon knew when to give and when to take, and now more than ever, Donna needed to be an Amazon -- with a strength of heart worthy of Athena's calling. It had been so long since Donna prayed, but now she prayed to the gods, to the Titans of Myth, to any deities that would listen... she prayed that they would bring Kara back to her.

The heat of anger rising from Kara was one possessed by Ares and his wars. Donna understood anger and war and lashing out against the ones held closest to your heart. She remembered a fight with Diana turned so physical that it had left their knuckles bloodied and chest heaving from the fire burning in each of them. She remembered other fights too -- ones not of this realm and universe. She remembered a world where her arm lay severed by her sister's sword. She remembered hurling Dick through a wall. She remembered the unseeing eyes of Teen Titans, dead by her own hands. She remembered the collapse of a universe and being alone, alive in its wake. She remembered a moon and a crest and being worshiped by mortals. A name humming in each reality: Troia.

No.

Donna noticed the shift as Kara spoke and her hand reached instinctively for the shield at her back, rolling to the side in order to narrowly miss the beams of heat shooting from Kara's eyes. She lowered the shield in front of her body as she stood firm, even as she felt the intense heat of the water now steaming around them, obscuring her vision to whoever may have been in the background. She had eyes only for Kara. "Kara," she shouted. "This has to stop. You're angry? Okay. Then, we go somewhere and crush cars, and if you need to hit someone, then you hit me. You don't tear down the Brooklyn Bridge!"

KARA: "Okay." Kara laughed, something high and not quite right, before she launched herself at Donna. She imagined her shoulder driving through the shield, their bodies hitting water and steam and cement. She didn't think much at all when she felt herself connect, focused only on driving forward.

The laugh melted into a yell, and if somewhere, somewhere she was crying, the water rising up around them would hide it.

"You don't get to tell me how to be angry." She thought of Cat, of James and his cars. Of train yards with Peter, and the way she always shoved it away. Hid it in small corners like it didn't exist, swallowed around it as Lena offered up devices disguised as humanitarian efforts, and when Clark flew away again.

She'd been so angry for so long and she hadn't realized how much it hurt until she'd landed in that office with Erik.

"No one does." The words ground out, breaking just around the edges, and she tried to focus on driving forward. On getting her hands on the obstacle (on Donna, it was Donna, Rao just remember who you're–), "Not anymore."

DONNA: No one dared come close to this fight. Humans made movies and talked about what they thought the 'clash of the Titans' might look like, but they had no idea. They could not really understand. An unstoppable force. An immovable object. Two impossible extremes.

The Teumessian Fox and the Laelaps. Dionysus once set the giant fox upon the city of Thebes as punishment for their crimes, a beast to devour their children... one deigned to never be caught. The King of Thebes charged his general Amphitryon with finding the impossible solution of stopping the monster, and he found one: the Laelaps, a dog destined to always catch its prey. One, a fox who could never be caught, and one, a dog who would always find its quarry. A paradox for the gods.

Kara's shoulder slammed into Donna and she let herself be pushed back, water spraying up like a wave around them until she dug in her feet and brought them to a stop, shield pressed tightly against her body. Steam surrounded them like a cloud, cutting them off from the rest of the world. Just the two of them for the first time in weeks. Perhaps Donna had waited a few weeks too many. "Then, tell me!" Donna shouted back, pushing the shield out and gritting her teeth, forcing an imperceptible space between them so she could look Kara in the eyes -- eyes reddened from anger and pain and loss. "Kara, just tell me." Not yelling anymore but firm in her resolve of buying time of doing something, anything to help Kara.

KARA: The steam shrouded around them, and suddenly Donna felt close. It seemed like it had been so long since the two of them had taken a moment for just them. Their apartment was a revolving door of visitors, her cousins, Jean, Scott, Cassie, even Olivia. Lar knew when to give them space, but he was still there.

It almost felt like it did with Alex; there was a careful distance neither of them had meant to create, but had created all the same.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" Kara moved away in a blink, water trailing up in her wake. Her eyes still glowed red in the steam. "Let's talk, then. What about how I sat by your side as you almost bled to death, and we still haven't talked about why."

She moved right, her eyes dimming. "Or how you're sleeping with the woman who almost killed you, even though you've admitted it doesn't make you happy.

"No, we don't really talk. If we did, you wouldn't have to ask me to tell you anything." Kara moved forward again, only far enough to send a wave of water Donna's direction, pulling in a breath and releasing until the water turned to ice. It arced in shards towards–

It's still Donna. It's Donna and Kara ached, but she couldn't bring herself to stop.

DONNA: She knew she deserved it -- every word of what Kara said. The two of them hadn't talked the way they used to in so long, and that was down to the both of them. But if Kara was so desperate for them to talk, then this wasn't going to be how Donna would have it. Now, the only words spewing from Kara's mouth were words intended to hurt.

And they did hurt. But they hurt even more knowing that wherever they were coming from was just the tip of the iceberg of what was truly wrong with Kara right now. Kara. Her best friend. As close to a soulmate as Donna could understand...

A wave roared toward her and crouched down and lifted her shield, holding her breath in expectation of a flood. Instead, she was met with shards of ice slicing through the uniform at her calves like dozens of tiny little razors coming for her. Donna grit her teeth and plucked out the few that had stuck in her legs before standing back up and facing Kara once more. Small cuts would heal, but this wasn't stopping. An immovable object. That's what she had to become. If Kara was the Laelaps that would always catch its prey, then Donna had to become like the Fox, illusive and uncatchable.

She just prayed that Zeus wouldn't see it fit to bring about an end to this infinite loop of paradox before Alex and the Luthor found a cure for whatever plagued Kara's mind.

"If we're going to talk, then let's talk. But not like this Kara. Not like this." Donna could only brace herself for what was inevitably going to be another attack, and maybe the fog in her vision wasn't just from the steam surrounding them now. Maybe the mist also came from her own eyes.

KARA: Not long ago, Kara may have listened. She would have put it off, waited for a more opportune moment. Or bottled it up, shoved it down and down until–

Rao, she was so tired. Tired of fitting herself around what others expected; tired of shoving things down until they were crammed so tight they hurt. It wasn't a feeling she'd felt all the often with Donna. But then there were signatures and colors, dreams and swords and lassos shattered. Suddenly there was so much about Donna Kara didn't know, and yet she stood asking her to bare all.

Bottle it up, let it out in a controlled trickle. But Kara had no interest in light rain, she was a hurricane, gathering force as it approached landfall. Donna thought words could temper her as they had before, but she was wrong.

Kara laughed, just as cold as the shards of ice Donna was picking from her legs. "Then how, Donna? Over text? When I've finally pushed enough? You want to take this over tea in our apartment while we pretend we're the same? I'm not interested, not anymore."

(They are, they are. There was so much they had in common, and their differences were always understood and celebrated. Donna bled the same. Kara loved her, she loved her, she–)

She dropped her shoulder and charged forward. If Donna wanted to try to be an immoveable object, Kara was going to show her how she could plow right through her.

DONNA: Her eyes had lost their reflection. Where blue used to reflect the moonlight, red swallowed everything around them. Red veins and red eyes and what was next? Were horns and hooves going to appear like that had with Illyana? Was Kara that far gone? No. Donna couldn't -- she refused to believe that. Because if that was the truth, then there was a sword and a duty to something she could never bring herself to do. The unstoppable force and the immovable object. The fox and the hound.

And then Kara pushed, shoulder lowered and enough force to send any man through the nearest building across the park. But Donna wasn't human, and she couldn't pretend to be one. Her shield raised to take the brunt of the force, sliding through the water a few feet before Donna planted her feet firmly and felt the ground CRACK and cave until they came to a jarring stop, calf-deep in splintered granite. Donna grit her teeth. This wasn't what she wanted, but it was what she had to do. She had to buy Alex and Lena enough time to finish the cure. Letting out a grunt, Donna pushed back to create enough space to escape the damaged ground and float up before bringing the shield back and slamming down on Kara's face. Donna had to hope... because that's what Kara would do.

KARA: She couldn't stop, she couldn't stop, she couldn't stop.

Donna didn't even reply, she took the hit and followed it with one of her own. The shield landed home on her face and for a moment the world spun wildly around her. If anyone could pack a hit that would actually hit, it was Donna. Invulnerable was an adjective given only by those who didn't actually know Supergirl. The hit landed, the world spun, and Kara knew they were done talking.

They'd never actually talked. All there was left was the burn in her chest and the obstacle in front of her. Someone standing between her and a home, someone asking her to temper herself when all she could feel was rage. Any hesitation left, thoughts spiraling, morphing hurt into anger.

She'd been holding back since the moment she landed. Be less, Kara. Too much and you'll break something: crashing through walls, plates shattered, cutlery bent around her fingers. Too strong to hug Eliza or Alex, to pet a cat. No more. She was done holding back.

One hand wrapped around Donna's shield on the follow-through, trying to use Donna's own momentum to yank it to the side as she brought her other hand around in a swing of her own.

DONNA: Blood sprayed across her face as Kara’s fist collided with her nose. Fuck. Her roommate held none of her strength back and Donna grunted as she held in a cry of pain. Fuck. The world feared them — feared those with powers to be like this. Unfettered and unleashed on a world that hated what it could not understand. Alien, meta, mutant, Amazon. Raw power wrapped in skin and bones and roaring to be set free. The man Hercules had enslaved the Amazons out of fear of what they could do, and the warriors, once free, had made him pray the price for his persecution of them. A bloody price. Donna remembered sitting on Hippolyta’s lap as her adopted mother recounted the tale behind the bracelets they wore. Bracelets of submission: as a reminder of the time when they were enslaved but also to remind them of restraint. Vowing to settle with words first and fists second.

Donna grit her teeth and wiped the blood from her crooked nose as she staggered back from the blow. “I can’t let you do this!” She shouted as her boots sloshed through water, the mist setting an eerie haze around them like a wall keeping the world outside of this moment. How she wished that the world would never see or remember this Kara, knowing that the Supergirl in front of her was the image that Kara fought with pen and paper to tear down — a being to be feared, not a hero. Donna had sworn to care for all those that Kara cared for, but in this moment she hated Lena Luthor for having any kryptonite in the first place because maybe then Magneto wouldn’t be able to use her friend like this. “Magneto is just using you! This isn’t the way, and you know it.” Donna circled Supergirl, tensed for the next attack that was bound to come. Because while Donna played defense, the Fates string pulled Kara along as the ever hunting hound — the Laelaps in relentless pursuit. If Donna could only be as cunning as the fox, maybe she could get in close enough to knock her best friend out until Alex could bring a cure.

KARA: "He's promising me a home!" Her voice broke on the last word, falling into the noise of the water and her hand scraping against Donna's shield. It broke because despite the red snaking through her veins and way her worst thoughts plowed over every good thought she tried to throw in their way, it still came from somewhere deep inside of her.

She wanted the Fire Falls and the Jewel Mountains and for dragons to be more than a marvel but an accepted normal. She wanted Alura's arms around her before bed and her family prayers and Zor-El's laboratory while Kara snuck underneath tables and between his various experiments. Kara wanted normal, she wanted it so bad it felt like it would consume her (it was, it already was). But she was never going to have normal. The best she could as for was a world that didn't fear her simply for being who she was. It was as close to home as she would ever get.

(But Alex, but Eliza and Donna and Lar. But Kon and Jon and Kal. There were so, so many reasons Earth was home, if she could only hold onto them for more than a fleeting moment, thoughts slip-sliding over each other to make room for all the reasons it wasn't.)

"He's promising me a home, Donna." It was so much easier to fall back into her anger. Everything else was too hard to hold onto. She gripped the shield with both hands and drove forward, pressing it with all her strength into Donna's chest, pushing them both down into the water. Her eyes glowed red, close. "And you're in my way."

DONNA: "A home?" Donna's voice broke on the same word as Kara's had. "Then what have we been living in together for months?" The tears threatened to choke her. Donna would go to war if she thought it would give Kara a home, but this wasn't it. Because a home for Kara couldn't be found in the violence. It was in the quiet moments when she could hear Lar and Kara whispering stories to each other in their bedroom while Donna hummed contently while stirring a pot of noodles. It was found when she came home from a long day of volunteering at the community center when her heart was breaking for these kids that didn't have a home to go to and Kara was sitting there waiting with re-runs of House Hunters queued up on the television and a bowl of popcorn just for the two of them. It was found in texts in their native languages because even if they couldn't always spell things the right way or the grammar was just a little imperfect -- the words were still there and they tried.

When had that stopping being enough?

Kara slammed into her with renewed vigor, with a dark fire in her eyes that drowned out all reason, pushing Donna down and into the foundation of the fountain. A snarl formed on her own lips and reared forward, slamming her head into Kara's to stun her long enough to flip their positions -- this time Donna driving Supergirl back with the force of her shield. "If you think this is the way, then you are spitting on Krypton's grave. This isn't you. Whoever did this to you -- I won't let them get away with it."

KARA: No, no no!

Donna's head struck hers and for a moment her vision blurred. Her fingers went slack and her head spun, water settling around her. For a moment, just a moment, her eyes met Donna's. Actually met. Her face was wet and her chest felt like it was caving in on itself, hollow and empty.

That was it, wasn't it? Everything broken down into one simple sentence. Rao, she'd never asked to be the last. She'd never asked to be the only one left to honor her family, her traditions, her culture her world. She'd been pushed into a pod and told to do great things. Her home had turned to dust and she hadn't been given a choice.

At thirteen cycles old, Krypton was her grave to honor, and she'd never once been asked. All clarity left in a moment.

"Don't–" She struggled against the shield pressing into her, movements increasingly jarred. "Don't tell me how to honor my people! Don't–"

The words came out cracked around the edges. There was nothing left but the burn in her chest. She worked to get her hands free, shifting underneath Donna and getting nowhere. The water rose and splashed around them, and she couldn't move, and she didn't want this, she didn't want this (she really didn't want this). "Don't talk about Krypton!"

Her eyes lit red and released with a scream.

DONNA: She held the line, shield locked against her body as she pressed down and back against Kara like she'd been taught to as a youth on Themyscira alongside the fiercest race of warriors. An immovable object. But Kara was like the unstoppable force of the hound and something had to give -- one of them had to snap.

Energy pooled within her body until she no longer felt that her body was her own. Every fiber of being connected together until shield became an extension of muscle and became part of bone. A perfect unity even with the water foaming around them as Kara lashed back in frantic and stuttered movements. The moon reflected back at her and Donna felt its pull, calling out something deep within her. A raw energy in the dark that pulsed through her veins until she could feel pressure rising in her blood, rushing and pushing her. Every beat of her heart saying to consume and shatter and break the alien in front of her. Donna could see herself pulling at the moon to control tides until the fox became the hound. The hunted became the hunter. A white light of the moon shining through her eyes and stars dancing in her hair and the strength of a thousand gods coming forward to --

No. Donna closed her eyes and let out a yell, just as Kara screamed and a red so bright burst forth that Donna could see even through closed eyelids. A pain like a hammer hitting an anvil struck her body and suddenly she was flying and landing with a splash, eyes fluttering open for a moment so that she could see the stars. There. There they were in the night sky. The punishment for creating an ultimate paradox was mutual destruction, and the gods struck Laelaps and the Teumessian turning them both to stone and placing them in the sky. Canis Major and Minor. Donna smiled for a second through the pain before her eyes fluttered shut.

The unstoppable force had won, so maybe the gods would be kind and let the one still live.

KARA didn't feel, not anymore. Nothing but the fire that raked red hot through her veins. Her vision was bathed in orange and the only thing that mattered was getting up. Was wrapping her hands around the force that held her down and wrenching it in half. It didn't matter that it was Donna.

(It was, oh Rao it was Donna.)

Everything pooled into her eyes and then Donna was gone, the pressure released. Her breath left her in a rush, her throat raw, her lungs aching. She stood with water dripping down her temple, off the ends of her hair into the uneasy waters of the fountain. It was dusk when they started, now stars reflected bright off the pool around them. The glow of her eyes faded as she stepped forward, listening to the sound of Donna's heart beat once, twice...three times.

Pause.

For a moment she was left with only the sound of the water as it settled, small waves lapping and broken stone. Somewhere a helicopter beat a steady staccato against the night sky. And nothing. And nothing.

Kara felt like she was collapsing in on herself. A moment of clarity rushing over her as her eyes widened, her breath stalling in her chest. What. What. Her eyes glassed over and she wasn't sure if it was with fear, agony, or anger that she began to reach forward, praying to Rao for the next beat of her best friend's heart.

Thump.

DAISY: She had seen it by chance. A glimpse at a television that still had power in the city. A glimpse was all it had taken — a scrolling line of text at the bottom. Kara was fighting Donna. Daisy hadn’t wasted a second, she had given her companion a nod and an excuse that he understood — people were important. And Donna was important to Kara, which was why Daisy couldn’t wrap her head around what she had seen. She didn’t get a lot of what had happened, Kara destroying the bridges and keeping people trapped in a city that was burning — Kara cared about people. In a selfless — almost self-destructive way, so, what happened? What changed?

There was no time to waste, Daisy propelled herself into the air with her powers, she hadn’t quite perfected this, but there was no time like the present. She landed on a roof and then quickly traveled, jumping from roof to roof with the assistance of her powers, a careful balance of enough power to throw herself forward and not leave the building she had been on in ruins. (The Stark made gloves helped reduce the reverb, but knowing her limits? Daisy wasn’t particularly skilled at that yet.)

Flinging herself into the air again, once she was close enough to see the fight, she hit the ground with some buffering from her powers, a circle of cracked Earth formed around her. And Daisy inhaled as she stood up straight, eyes shooting up to see Donna lying on the ground a short distance from her. Unmoving.

Kara moved forward and Daisy immediately jumped between her and Donne. “Kara,” she said in warning, a hand up, her palm pointed towards Kara’s chest. A threat. Silent, but clear. Kara knew what Daisy could do if she wanted. “I don’t want to do this.” Don’t make me. Daisy kept her gaze locked on Kara, the expression on her face — she looked distraught... then why had it gone this far? What could have possibly happened here to lead to this. “But I will if you don’t stand down.”

KARA: She didn't even see Daisy, not at first. She only saw Donna, how her eyes fluttered closed, how the twitch of her fingers stilled. She waited and waited and Daisy was saying something, but Kara couldn't hear a thing. Not until Donna's heart gave another thump, and another. The pressure in her chest eased, and she could think, she could–

No no no it was all wrong. She was supposed to find a home on the other side of the flames. They just had to let her get through them. They had to.

Somewhere behind her, friendships were piling up, tattered and torn. It should register that this wasn't one of them. Daisy was spilled ink and confessions neither of them truly meant to make, but accepted anyway. She was once-a-week text messages, and stumbling over acceptance she deserved, even if she didn't fully understand it. Kara had chosen to love Daisy.

And Daisy was choosing to be another obstacle.

"Move, before I make you." Red snaked across her face, fire crawled beneath her skin. She didn't even wait for an answer before stepping forward; she was done with words.

DAISY: She had never imagined her friendship with Kara coming undone like this. She never thought that she’d catch Supergirl on TV beating her friend half to death — she never imagined that Kara would fall so far from the person she had been in that cafe, carefully keeping her composure while masking who she was. A broken pen the only show of force that Daisy could claim to have witnessed.

Every other moment had been touched on with kindness, with a softness — a gentleness that Daisy could have never have claimed to have earned. A whisper of family. The talk of value — that they mattered to each other. But Daisy was looking at Kara with this feeling building in her chest. A red glow just under Kara’s skin, a flicker of the color in her eyes. (A different meaning of seeing red. Or maybe the same... just more plain.)

Was this Kara? Or something else? Something like Hive? Crawling in her mind, drawing out the ugliest, meanest part of her soul?

Standing her ground, Daisy could feel Donna’s pulse behind her, the familiar beat of her heart — the quiet vibrations of her body that said that she was alive. (Would she make it? Daisy couldn’t claim to know that.)

“No. You’ve done enough.” The words came out harsher than Daisy had intended, but she didn’t back down. Kara took a step forward and Daisy... she couldn’t risk it. Daisy couldn’t wait for Kara to come ot her senses, couldn’t let her get any closer to Donna without risking Donna’s life. That had always been the line for Daisy. The lives of others. “Stand down,” Daisy commanded before focusing only one hand on Kara, holding back a fraction of her power, not wanting to kill Kara. The air around her hand shifted in a visible way, waves surrounding her hand and cutting through the air until it pushed into Kara. Strong enough to make each step Kara took more labored, but not enough to still her completely. “This is your only warning. Is this what you want, Kara?”

ALEX: It had taken longer than Alex would have liked to find a cure for the Kryptonite that Kara had been affected with. First she'd had to go over the research about the creation of the Kryptonite that Lena had brought her, then she had to find a way to reverse the effects it'd had on her sister. Blue Kryptonite was what she was testing now, it was the molecular opposite of green, which Alex had made by reversing the ionic charge of green Kryptonite, hopefully this would work because honestly she was out of ideas. Donna was trying to distract Kara, buy Alex some time to find a cure but from the updates her agents were giving her it didn't seem to be going her way. She'd just gotten the results back when one of her agents came into give her the latest update, Donna was down, they weren't sure if she was alive, but someone else had shown up to confront Kara now.

Alex knew she was running out of time with this cure, though the test results of the blue Kryptonite seemed to show it would reverse what Lena's Kryptonite had caused. It was liquid instead of a solid form so she would have to use a syringe with a green Kryptonite needle to inject it into Kara. Once the cure was in the syringe and the needle had been replaced by one of green Kryptonite Alex changed into Green Lantern and flew towards Central Park. It wasn't until she was there she saw who the other person was, Daisy, who seemed to be holding Kara's attention for now, she still had to be quick though if she was going to be able to get the cure to her sister. She landed behind Kara, moving to inject the blue Kryptonite into her neck hopefully before Kara realized what was happening.

KARA: "Yes!"

Kara tried to take a step forward, but her feet rooted to the ground. Her very bones rattled, her vision blurred. Why couldn't anyone just leave her be? She just wanted a home, she just wanted to be free. She didn't want to be hated, or revered, or held on a perfect pedestal where feelings didn't matter. She wanted to feel, Erik had allowed her to feel so much.

(Of one thing, of one thing, Kara.)

This was what she wanted, and Daisy was trying to stop her. Like Donna, like Jon and Kon. Her words fell into a scream as she tried desperately to step forward. Her eyes lit red, and–

Something pricked at her neck, and suddenly everything hurt. The fire in her veins pulling out like thousands of needles, like kryptonite. A red mist lifted from her and she had a moment, just a moment. A moment of thank you, and finally, and she could think, she could feel for the first time in days. She was Kara, and there was Daisy, and Donna.

And Donna. Her chest seized and she couldn't breathe and everything went black.

[maidenxfmight]

all we do is hide away

Tagging: @ofcosmicwonder, @cfvalors, & Kara When: One week post-siege Where: Sanctuary What: Lar and Donna remind Kara she needs to come home Warnings: None.

"Is there anything with which I can assist you, Lady Zor-El?" Kara looked up at the small Kelex hovering eagerly at her feet. Her back was pressed against the bottom of her control panel, feet stretched out in front of her. The small fortress was stunning. Crystals jutting in each direction, red light reflecting off clear walls dancing with the movement of the ocean around her. It should be wonderful. It was a little piece of home.

It felt so empty, though. Her chest felt hollow, her eyes dry. She hadn't slept since she'd woken up with Alex beside her, since she'd heard Donna was alive, but not okay. Since she'd listened for Lar's heartbeat and heard nothing.

Sanctuary was beautiful. Kelex was a faithful companion. Kara didn't deserve any of it.

"No, Kelex, thank you." She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin between them. Sanctuary blurred and she shut the rest of the world out. This was home now, right? She'd given up everything for it, after all. It was funny how in her clarity, she remembered even crystals from Krypton were just crystals without her friends and family there to make them mean something.

"Set the entry phrase to Stardust, dim ambient light."

"As you wish." The lights dimmed, and she buried her head.

The thought of Sanctuary  had been floating in the back of Lar's mind for the better part of a week. It was a nagging feeling deep in the pit of his stomach that knew that's where she was but rather than think about that, rather than say it and watch the Donna's eyes light up only to be wrong he had busied himself with fussing over her to the point where she had taken to just throwing objects at him rather than be asked if she felt okay, if the lighting was irritating her eyes, if her pillow was fluffed correctly, if there was a glare on the television, Donna you should really drink more water, hydration is important--

He was even driving himself a bit off the wall. And, if he was being completely honest with himself even learning a new idiom didn't fill him with the same swell of accomplishment and joy without Kara's excited nod at its proper usage.

He missed her, had begun missing her the second their apartment door had clicked shut softly behind him and hadn't stopped since.

And Donna felt the same way, sending him everywhere from New Zealand to Alaska to listen for their missing roommate's heartbeat. But he had passed over the Atlantic and he just knew.

But the thought of Sanctuary could have never compared to the reality of it. His eyes widened as he took in the glittering crystals. He could do it. She would know he was there as soon as he left the water that surrounded him. Press his hand to the wall and beg her to let him in, if not for his sake than for Donna's.

Maybe explain himself. Apologize that he wasn't there when she needed him most.

But he couldn't bring himself too. He turned, his eyes squeezing shut as he jettisoned himself out of the water and into the sky, his cape fluttering wetly behind him as he flew as fast as he could toward the apartment.

He crashed into the apartment, so surprised by the shut window that he rolled sloppily across the floor, the smell of the ocean lingering though the flight had long since dried. 

"I know where she is," He said, breathless as his head rolled to glance up at Donna, "you feel okay enough for a swim?"

They were lost without her. Donna could see it in Lar's glances toward the window when he thought she wasn't looking or how he would make just a little bit too much of Donna's favorite dish because they were both so used to cooking for three. Missing Kara hurt more than any wound ever could and Donna couldn't do a damn thing except sit propped up in bed or try to stiffly walk around the apartment when Lar was off flying to find some evidence that Kara still existed in this universe. She had to. Kara had to still be here. Because Donna swore that some part of her would know if she wasn't.

A crash startled Donna and she stumbled out of bed, reaching for her sword that hung on the wall but stopping when she saw Lar's disheveled figure sprawled across the living room floor. "Did -- did you just break our...?" The question died on her lips as soon as he spoke. Gods forgive her, but nothing else mattered when he mentioned her. It didn't matter that she could hardly sleep without rolling over and waking up to a flare of pain. Somehow, she knew that just wrapping her arms around Kara would make a world of difference. "It doesn't matter how I feel. We're leaving. Now."

LAR: He was up in a flash, brushing off the shards of broken glass that clung to his suit as he marched toward Donna with a single-minded focus. She was still weak, regardless of what she said, and a swim to the bottom of the ocean was no easy feat, even for the likes of them. The last thing he needed was for her to pass out halfway down.

"Sorry, Donna." He muttered, hauling her into a bridal carry he knew she would argue against and flying out of the apartment with a boom. It was times like this that he said a silent prayer of thanks to Brainy for developing the flight rings, wherever he may be.

But there wasn't time to think about that now, not when he could practically taste the salt of the ocean as they flew. He came to a sudden stop, his eyes squinting as he tried not to jostle Donna. "It's right below us, she has to be in there. I saw it and, well it's definitely Kryptonian."

He looked up at the sun, the warmth of it slowing his heartbeat to a steady crawl as he took a deep breath, floated a little higher and then torpedoed himself into the water with a mighty splash, his arms tightening around the Amazonian in an attempt to get her to stop squirming.

It was beautiful, really. No less breathtaking a sight this time as it had been but thirty minutes before. If anything it looked like it had grown in the short amount of time he had been gone, the crystals somehow more imposing than they had been, the light bouncing off of them more brilliant than it had looked through the filter of murky deep sea water. He hadn't dared breech the barrier of water last time but now he squeezed his eyes shut and stepped forward, his eyes shooting open as he entered the serene space. It felt untouched and precious because of it.

"Here," he whispered, allowing her to slip from his arms as his eyes darted around wildly. Finally they focused on the structure, his jaw tightening before he stepped forward to slide his palm against the crystals.

He glanced back at Donna briefly before turning to press his forehead against the cool surface, his voice soft as he whispered a prayer. He needed to steady himself somehow, calm the rapid beat of his heart. "Kara," he said, "please."

Donna frowned, not sure what he was apologizing for until her legs were being swept from underneath her and she let out a yelp of surprise. She opened her mouth again to protest but they were suddenly zooming away. (Great Hera, if only she'd realized how disorienting such an experience was... she would have never teased Roy about his reaction to being flown when they were younger.)

"Lar Gand, if you don't let me go right now--" The threat died on her lips as the water rushed up to meet them and Donna became occupied with the sudden business of holding her breath.

The moment they broke the water barrier, Donna coughed, gasping for breath for a moment as she got her footing. She hated feeling this weak, but nothing could keep her from being here, and Lar was a wise man to not argue otherwise. Not if here was where Kara was. And it was. Her senses were dulled from her injuries, but even then, her heart knew, as if she could somehow sense the very essence of Kara embedded into the crystal structure around them. In another time, Donna would have paused and appreciated the beauty of the space. It was something so foreign to anything she had seen before on Earth, yet there was a beauty and serenity about it. But, the second that Lar uttered Kara's name, a determination possessed her.

She slammed her palm against the crystal wall. "Kara Zor-El Danvers, if you don't let us in, then I swear by the gods that not even Hades himself will be able to stop me from breaking through this wall to--" Donna's voice cracked and her vision blurred. Her hand swiped at her face and she recognized that tears had mixed with the saltwater of the Atlantic. "Kara, please." She echoed Lar's earlier plea. "Please, come home."

KARA: "New entry, Lar Gand, Donna Troy."

Kara's head lifted from her knees and her breath caught in her chest. She heard the quiet breach of the water barrier followed by the quick thump of heartbeats before the robotic voice even triggered the arrival, before the sputtering and the yelling on the other side of a wall of crystals. She would've known them without Sanctuary's help. She would know them anywhere.

Her fingers curled into her palms and for a moment she considered keeping the wall between them. Donna shouldn't have made the trip, and Lar...how could either of them stand to be there? Where in there hearts had there been room for them to still offer her home?

But they were there, and there was a crack to their voices that pulled Kara's heart to the floor. They were there, and she loved them so much, and there was hope. There was always hope. She stood and made her way a few feet from where the crystals would lower, where she knew she'd see two of the most important people in her life. "Sanctuary, lower entry one."

The crystals separating Kara from Donna and Lar sank into the ground with a quiet hiss, and for the first time in a week she spotted her friends. They were sea-damp and ruffled with red-rimmed eyes. Tired with hearts racing and...Kara could hear the rapid-fire of Lar's heart; she could trace the lines of fractures in Donna's ribs, where the skin had charred from the heat of her anger.

"Your ribs, I–" A sob lodged itself in her throat, one had lifting to cover quivering lips. Her eyes filled and spilled over; there weren't words or actions strong enough to fix this. She'd destroyed her home in searching for one. Everything in her wanted to step forward, to wrap the both of them up and never let go again. To whisper 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' until the bruises were gone. But for the first time she didn't know if they'd want that, and she wrapped her free arm around herself instead. "I'm so sorry, I'm–oh Rao."

There was a rumble and then a hiss and Lar's eyes shot open as the crystal seemed to sink into the ocean floor. His jaw dropped, his soft "wow" swallowed by the rapid fire beat if his heart at the sight of Kara, shoulders dropped and eyes glassy...

She had been crying, that much was obvious, and there was a small indent on her cheek that, even in all this, he couldn't help but find heartbreakingly endearing. It looked like she had gathered her knees to her chest and buried her face there and a large part of him wanted to do nothing but pull her into his arms and whisper that it would be okay because now they were all together.

But a small part of him could only hear the echo of her words the last time they had spoken. He couldn't stop hearing the crumple of paper as her hand pressed solidly against his chest.

It had been so simple, once upon a time, when he was just another face in the park and she was just a girl wearing a familiar crest.

They had been strangers, and then friends, and then family and then he had woken up one day and his eyes fluttered open to meet a blue that was both impossibly deep and impossibly clear and for the first time in his life he felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

He had imagined what it would be like to see her again. Spent a majority of his nights over the last week staring at the speckled ceiling in their living room, squeezing his eyes shut and hoping, praying, that she would just be there when he opened them.

He blinked slowly, his eyes never leaving hers as they filled, and then overflowed with tears.

He hated it. He hated that circumstance had made her soft heart hard and her warmth cold, even for a weekend. Hated that she even had a concept of self-loathing. He hated Magneto and he hated himself for not realizing that something had been deeply, terribly wrong. Then her arm snaked it's way to wrap around her body and it so much looked like she was trying desperately to keep herself together and something in him snapped. He rushed toward her in a burst of speed he didn't know he could produce, his cape slapping wetly against his calves as he wrapped his arms around her.

He shushed her, "I'm sorry I'm wet." He laughed softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head absentmindedly before realizing what he had done. He stepped back with a shaky smile, his hands clasping respectfully behind his back, "Thank Rao you're alright. We were so..." he shook his head, "fucking terrified. I couldn't hear you anywhere and you didn't come home. Donna's sent me just about everywhere on the planet."

Donna Troy stood at a loss for words. Seeing Kara like this, surrounded by the soft unearthly glow of a crystal sanctuary in the bottom of the Atlantic, hit her in a way that she hadn't expected. A sadness weighed so evident on Kara's shoulders that Donna wanted nothing more than to lift the burden and take it upon herself. How long had it been sitting there without Donna noticing? How much longer would Kara have endured in silence if the truth hadn't been forced out of her? They used to tell each other everything, but somewhere that had changed. Not somewhere. Some-when. The Dark Angel. That's when this had all started for Donna. A thousand lifetimes of tragedy and Donna had thought that if she slowly shut Kara out then somehow that tragedy wouldn't touch her best friend. Instead, it had come back tenfold.

Lar was the first to move and all too soon he was pulling back. Donna was done holding back.

She pushed past him, tugging at his hand as she did so that she could somehow be connected to both of them at once as she flung herself into Kara, almost collapsing into her as she wrapped an arm tightly around Kara's neck, her other hand still lingering in Lar's. "Don't ever leave us like that again." There was no threat in her words. Donna was so tired of fighting now. Her head tucked in the crook of Kara's neck and the faint sound of Kara's heart beating in her chest. Lar's calloused artist's hand holding onto her own. This was all she needed to be home.

KARA: She didn't have a right, but the moment Lar wrapped her up she leaned into him, tilting into the press of his lips on the crown of her head. It was warm and safe and familiar and gone, just as soon as it came. Kara felt the absence like each empty room of Sanctuary.

She only had a moment to feel cold in his absence before Donna took his place, one arm held tight around her neck while the other anchored Lar to the both of them. Kara could feel her heartbeat against her chest and the heat of her breath as she pushed her face into her neck. It felt so much more like home than the towering crystals of Sanctuary had in a week, like something slid back into place with the three of them sharing the same space once more.

"I won't." She pressed close to Donna, the arm she had wrapped herself wrapping around her friend instead. If Donna meant disappearing for a week to the bottom of the ocean, or the days that had come before that, when everything about herself had shifted and twisted into something ugly, Kara didn't know. Both held true. Kara had left long before she'd pressed a crystal into ocean sand; perhaps she'd been leaving before red kryptonite burned through her veins. "I won't, I promise."

The words fell out quiet and choked, her fingers wrapping into the damp fabric of Donna's shirt. She hoped both of them could hear it. She wanted to tug Lar close as well, and remember exactly what home was supposed to feel like. But the distance between the three of them may be bridged by apologies and understandings, but it wouldn't be closed until they talked. Until everything that had spilled out in the three days Kara had completely lost herself was addressed. Kara wondered if the distance could ever be fully closed. If Lar stepping away was a precursor to the weeks to come, and Donna only held tight in the moment.

She pulled in a breath and pressed closer. For now, she had them, and that was enough. "I'm sorry I forgot what home was."

[maidenxfmight]

closed starter for @ofcosmicwonder​

Kara learned too young that time wasn’t linear. It didn’t run forwards or even backwards as though on a set of rails. It bent and it folded, twisted and turned and laid back on itself. And in the middle of all its criss-crossing lines there were voids. Sometimes, things fell into them, these big, empty, silent spaces even time itself couldn’t touch. Sometimes they were placed there as a punishment, and sometimes, sometimes they stumbled in by chance.

Kara would give anything to have missed her chance. There were a lot of things she would have done differently. But she’d been short on choices, hadn’t felt like she’d had much at all. 

“I’ll be brave, Mother.” Bravery felt like nothing in the face of an eternity.

Her back pressed against the wall behind her, tucked between her bed and her bedroom wall. Or was it the seat of her pod? It had never been built for comfort, it was built to take her from Krypton to Earth. It was small, and quiet. Her own breathing seemed to bounce back off the glass, if she held it in there was nothing. Just the silent press of space around her. Her hand hit the glass just for noise, or was it brittle drywall?

She always knew this was going to happen. She knew it. Somewhere Krypton had died, or was dying, or would die, because she’d never actually caught up to time. She’d never actually left. Everything would always be the Phantom Zone, and she was naive for ever believing she’d made it out. There was no Donna, no Eliza. No Alex. They were all gone, or they never had been, or they never would be. She wrapped her arms around herself, pressed her face into her knees and tried to remember to breathe, names half-formed on her lips.

Time wasn’t linear. There were voids. Kara would know, she lived in one.

[maidenxfmight]

closed starter for @ofcosmicwonder​

Why did she always end up on a rooftop? It was almost always with someone important, always burning another memory in the back of her mind. The last had been Helena, a desperate visit fueled by much more gruesome memories that Kara would rather lay well to rest. Long before that it had been Barbara, and Kara wasn’t sure if she could think about that. Not yet, not when her phone was still steadily silent in the wake of that final ‘lose my number.’

Donna was different. Kara hoped Donna was different, that she wasn’t just another person to lose. The universe was very fond of taking them. Kara was hopeful, but there was only so much she could take before she started waiting for the other shoe to drop. Donna was steady, and passionate, and kind. She’d supported her without even asking why, out of pure trust, and it meant more to Kara than she could express.

Not that she was expressing much of anything. Her boots hit the roof and it trembled beneath them, her hands worked in and out of fists at her sides. The flight had helped marginally, but there were only so many times she could cut across the Pacific before the air just smelled like salt. “I’m sorry.” She settled after a moment moving from one side of the roof to the other. “I’m not mad, I’m just– Ugh, could she be any more dumb?”

[maidenxfmight]

closed starter for @ofcosmicwonder​

It was getting harder to find places where off-worlders could gather. Many of them were mobile, or simply so hole-in-the-wall you had to know someone to know where it was. Kara led Donna to the latter, pushing her way through a heavy, rusted metal door into a small but rowdy bar. As soon as it slammed shut behind them, Kara grinned and let the excitement override any unease. She didn’t even drink, yet somehow a bar could feel closer to familiar than anywhere else on Earth.

“Okay, so–” She led the two of the through crowded tables surrounded by beings of all shapes and sizes until they made it to the bar. Pulling out her own stool as well as Donna’s, she pivoted to face her friend. This had been a little spur of the moment. But Donna had seemed upset, uneasy, and if she was going to let herself go for just a night, there was no better reason than to cheer up someone about whom she cared a great deal. “There’s a lot of drinks here that will be more than enough for both of us, but I suggest we start with the Zakkarian Ale. It’s enough without putting me under the table.”

She wondered which of them had the higher tolerance level. Then she wondered if it was worth finding out.

[maidenxfmight]

closed starter for @ofcosmicwonder​

Kara was two-thirds of the way through her second burger, and surrounded by pictures of Elvis. It wasn’t important, but it was kind of obvious. He was staring from every wall, and really she should have expected it. One didn’t walk into a tin-silver retro diner and expect to eat dinner to soft jazz. It was still something she noticed, just barely, beyond the cheddar cheese and secret sauce.

And Donna, of course. It was becoming something of a tradition to catch up in retro diners, of which there was no shortage in New York City. It usually came on the tail end of another close call, or when either of them had managed to snag a half-decent lead. The current case was the former. She’d sat down at the table with her fingers fidgeting together, thinking back over every interaction she’d had that day, hoping for a familiar face.

“Do you ever think about how weird retro diners are?” She glanced around the restaurant before looking back to Donna, “It’s basically a shrine. An Elvis shrine with good shakes and fries.”

[maidenxfmight]

@ofcosmicwonder​ sent [ betrayal ]

"How could you?”

Cool air rushed over Kara’s face as she stared at a cold expanse of nothing. She wasn’t one to feel the chill, but in that moment she could feel it to her very bones. Her heart felt as empty as the space before her, open and aching. She was intimately familiar with the sting of betrayal, with how it burrowed beneath her skin and burned right through her. It never made it any easier.

Alex would say she trusted too easily, was too open to love and friendship. That it would come back to bite her some day. But this was Donna. Donna knew her better than anyone, second only to Alex. Donna knew to wake her up slow in the mornings she slept in, and to always put at least five tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. They were friends, a team, as close as Kara had ever found to a soulmate.

This betrayal was too much. It floated over her in the air laden with ice crystals. It made her voice shake, her hands clench until they were almost too tight, plastic creaking.

“Donna, you...you ate the last of the Rocky Road?”

[maidenxfmight]

@ofcosmicwonder​ sent [ braid ] Donna giving Kara an Amazon princess braid

Kara’s entire apartment had been moved box by box through the exosphere for expediency. She wasn’t sure what Donna had expected, maybe not ‘completely moved in within the hour,’ but then they’d known each other long enough she should’ve expected as much. Donna’s apartment – their apartment – morphed in small ways into something more representative of the both of them. It was the little things, like Kara’s red throw blanket across the back of the couch, scattered knick knacks from Midvale. Her mismatched chopsticks were dumped into the silverware drawer and she hadn’t failed at cooking yet, but rest assured she’d christen the ceiling with smoke before too long.

The process had been quick, and it settled Kara in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. Her back was pressed against the couch, situated between Donna’s legs with her hands running gently through her hair. It smelled like Kara’s apple cinnamon Scentsy because it’s still winter, Donna, and everything felt right. Her sketchbook rested against her knees and she was tracing the curve of Donna’s smile when she’d first shown up with a box of art supplies in red pencil. As long as nothing else creeped through their door, as long as the both of them were right upstairs to help Fatima, everything could stay right.

“What’re you doing with it?” There was a small tug on her hair, and Kara wondered. Whatever it was felt intricate, a braid but not one she’d ever managed herself.