#feral kratos best kratos

[the-shy-artisan]

where are my greek era kratos enjoyers at? i need to know i'm not alone here, haha ;;

[thydonutart]

AU in which Heimdall attempts to use his sword as a sword.

[whackk-kermitt]

Relationship with Kratos

Genre: Headcanons

Warnings: None

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Kratos will never be the first to make a move.

He’s too afraid.

You’d have to say something, but once you do he won’t hesitate to be honest with you.

Once Kratos is close enough to you to admit his romantic attraction to you, you’re his.

It will still take a while for him to say “I love you”.

You will likely be the first to say that as well.

Kratos is not a very physically affectionate person.

At first…

The more you touch him, the more he will be willing to touch you.

He’ll still take a while to warm up to Intimate affection.

Hugs and cuddles are always welcome.

Kratos is a gentle giant when it comes to you.

His favorite thing is when you cuddle up to him and draw patterns on his chest while he plays with your hair.

He loves it when you approach him for a smooch or even just a hug.

Not really the kind of guy for PDA..

He’ll let light stuff slide in front of Atreus and Mimir, but no more then gentle touches here and there in front of others.

Kratos will demand you hunt and train with him.

He will always want you near to insure your safety.

He absolutely will spare with you until he is certain you can protect yourself without him around.

Yet he will still get upset if you’re ever in a situation where you actually have to defend yourself while he isn’t around.

Cue arguments about you not being careful.

He will always get quiet after any kind of argument with you though.

He will feel guilty about yelling or getting angry.

He will almost always (unless you really screwed up) be the first to apologize.

He's scared he’ll chase you away if he's ever too much.

Kratos is a man of few words(obviously), so he will likely apologize with acts of service first, then he will do his best to communicate.

He's trying, give him a break.

He will not leave your side until you are happy again.

Forgive him or he'll cry.

No really.

Kratos will sit alone and shed a tear or two.

He will tell absolutely nobody, but he has so much self-hatred that if you go to long without forgiving him, he will literally cry in shame.

But he almost never upsets you that bad; you know he's just scared of you getting hurt.

Plus his puppy dog eyes-that he swears he doesn't have- are so hard not to forgive.

And there will be a day he uses them to get something from you.

Puppy Dog eyes for extra attention please!

If you are ever hurt, he will go absolutely feral.

Spartan rage on anyone and everything that is between you and safety.

He loves to watch you with Atreus.

Absolutely adores you with him, secretly hopes to have another child with you one day.

He will whisper his marriage vows to you as you sleep.

It helps him fall asleep.

He has trouble sleeping without you after a point.

That's all I got for now..

•Kermitt Masterlist•

[user1286]

AUUGH It’s like theres no god of war content rn so here are my headcanons on gow if it was a musical

Kratos would have a singing style similar to Hellfire in Hunchback of Notre Dame

Some moments in the games I think he would have a song in would be the scene where he’s asking Faye what to do abt the baldur situation in gow 2018, and he would maybe have this small conflictive duet with atreus in that “grieve how you will and I will grieve my own way” scene. Think of a duet like On The Open Road from A Goofy Movie, but obvsly, more sad, angry, maybe a lil quiet, and definitely shorter lol.

Uhhh Atreus’ singing style would be smthn similar to Ciao Papa from that Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio movie. At least in the 2018 game. He DEFINITELY has his own like short but explosive number for when he kills Modi, AND his own actual first number by the time he spreads his moms ashes.

In Ragnarok, that’s where Atreus’ singing ability is RLLY shown, i don’t have any ideas atm for that tho lol

OHOHOHOH FREYA’S SINGING STYLE IS GRIZABELLA THE GLAMOUR CAT FROM THE (1988) CATS MUSICAL YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND UGGHH T THAT ONE PART IN THE SONG “YOU SEEEE THE CORNER OF HER COOOAAAAT IS TORRN” THAT PART THAT PART IS THE SAME EXACT WAY FREYA SINGS WHEN SHE TELLS KRATOS SHES GONNA GET REVENGE A N D WHEN SHE HOLDS ATREUS AT SWORD POINT IN RAGNAROK YOU BITCHES CANNOT CHANGE MY FUCKING MINDDD

MIMIR’S INTRO SONG WOULD HAVE TO BE TITLED “Worlds Smartest Man Alive” AND IT WOULD BE FUCKIN BANGIN AND THE WHOLE SINGING SEQUENCE WOULD BE TRIPPY AS HELL LIKE THAT ONE SOMG FROM DUMBO. LIKE MAYBE HES LIKE PROJECTING BACKGROUND DANCERS AND SINGERS WITH HIS BIFROST EYE, AND THEN THEY SAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN “WORLDS SMARTEST MAN ALIVE” AND THATS ALL HE TALKS ABT IN THE SONG AND ATREUS BEING A KID, IS ENJOYING HIMSELF AND THE SONG, AND KRATOS GETS ANNOYED AS HELL AND THEN THEN MIMIR ASKS KRATOS AND ATREUS TO TELL HIM THEIR QUESTION, AND THEN KRATOS IS LIKE “Why does the son of Odin hunt us?” AND THEN THE SONG AND PROJECTIONS FROM MIMIR’S EYE STOPS AND THEN YOU GET THAT LINE “OK there are a few gaps in my knowledge” OWJDOWHDOHSDIWJDKS. Mimir would just sing some definite bangers i just KNOW it IENDKEHD

AKAHSKD ALSO RANDOM THING I REALIZED, FAYE’S THEME SOMG, or ‘Memories of Mother’ THAT WHOLE SONG IS LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE A NORDIC LULLABYE AND IM ABSOLUTELY HAVING THOSE SCENES WHERE FAYE GETS HER FACE REVEAL IN RAGNAROK JUST BE THAT SINGING STYLE, SHE JUST HAS THIS SOOTHING KIND VOICE BC HHRHRJEVDJWGDKE IM GOING ABSOLUTELY FERALL KSJDKSJD

HEIMDALL ABSOLUTELY has his own song that has a tone similar to Mother Knows Best from Tangled KSNDK He would just be SO asshole-ish with his singing idk thats the closest song I can think of where the singer is just an asshole KSJD

UHhhHHhH thats all I’ve got rn i am VERY open to hearing others’ ideas do Tell do Tell pls pls plssss KWJDKSJ HEHEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE

[angstandhappiness]

DUDE

@perfectharmonyloveschaos #kratos being afraid that he will influence his son to be like him: is a distant and somewhat neglectful father#his son: is so much like him only a smaller ball of rage that neither realise he also inherited from his mom#i love this so much#i wish there was an option to have blood in the game rather than it always vanishing#it would be so cool#gross#but cool

@butlerkitty this scene made me feel So Much... poor atreus. little boy :(

@the-awakened-insomnis This scene wasn't bloody enough in game. I like this drawing really scary. Also Atreus fuckin eyes💀

@aussiepineapple1st Just about It was exactly like that

@lovecraft-enjoyer kratos' eyes went through the 7 stages of grief

@tamanbunga123 Which scene is this

@dmzira @tamanbunga123 when Kratos is in the light of Alfheim, for him its a few minutes but in reality it was much much longer and Atreus had been fighting the elves by himself until he pulled his father out of the light. Kratos was mad (I dont remember why but I think he was pulled out just as he started hearing Faye) and Atreus snaps back that Kratos abandoned him again and scream asks why he doesn't care. The wording and realization of how long he had been 'gone' seems to shook him a lot

@the-support-character You draw Atreus so Skrunkly it makes me happy

@cutietears This scene is my abandonment issues/trauma fr :(

@dessertwaffle The way you drew this is just so Right. Thank you so much. I’m alive. Love you. You’re doing amazing.

@threi @dessertwaffle thank youuuuuu 😭

@renatogpadilla The EXACT moment Kratos knew how much he fucked up.

@starcourts #.jpeg#this shit fucking hurt !!!!#thinking abt the interview w sunny where he says he cringed at his performance in the og game bc he feels like he could do better but then#there were scenes like this that were so ….

@lacm-ac Ah kids...#just kids being kids haha

@fruitstealer #this was messed up i agree atreus

@anathash #gods same same#it was traumatic though 🫠

@forgedobsidian #oh that child is TRAUMATIZED traumatized

@just-in-the-nickleback-of-time #drawing Atreus as a little Creature TM is correct

@blackrabbit-megapig #Atreus yelling at his father about how much he wants Kratos to love him#while they’re surrounded by the piles of bodies of dead elves Atreus killed#will never not be funny to me

@peiskos-and-apricity #I become absolutely feral every time i see this scene somewhere#just absolutly tearing things apart while I scream#that child just murdered thousands of dark elves and was more concerned about his dad not coming back#like BRO#how are you not FUCKING DEAD#absolutely insane#i love him#also love how perfectly you captured his 'tiny pathetic wet cat of a child' and 'literally covered in the blood of his enemies'

@candlesofthebog #So Atreus? Still giddy to wield the axe?

@livingbythecreed #sunny's voice acting in this is just wow... broke my heart

@mayormimii #even covered in blood he’s the 🥺 emoji#okay but jokes aside that line stuck with me and i’m glad someone else seems to be thinking about it too#angsty 2018 atreus….my beloved

@botopsy #and then kratos just like NOT TELLING HIM WHAT HAPPENED#bc he's just Like That#u love to see the character flaws as they grow

@fandom-blackhole #just played through this part#and i mean atreus was a little scary during that scene ngl#but also like i just wanted to give him a hug bc fuck he went through it

@theholytoaster #god i love this#its so true#kratos get your stoic ass and get EMOTION OUT

@gaysparkler #GOD WHEN HE PULLS YOU OUT OF THE LIGHT AND YOU SEE ALL THE BODIES AROUND#AND THEN KRATOS TRIES TO CONNECT WITH HIM BUT ATREUS PUSHES AWAY ANY ATTEMPT HE MAKES#baby boy. baby.#kratos is trying so hard#HE CARES!!! HE DOES CARE!!!!!!!! HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT#i need to replay ghjkdshgjshgjk#op your baby atreus is truly one of the best depictions of him i've seen

@k4ik4yk04 #// HIS STUPID GOOFY EYES GO GET HIS ASS . BOY !!!! this is so good

@ixorahh #top ten crazy moments tbh#tiny atreus literally bodying every enemy BY HIMSELF in order to protect his dad

@majjiktricks #ohh hes a fucked up little guy!

@changelinghearts #i forgot how bloodthirsty atreus was in gow 2018#my man was a little menace

@chorkless #nah atreus was valid for that#this fucks byw i love this

@bird-wells2144 #i think about this scene so often#something something metaphor something something

@ronsenboobi #the Horrors!!!

@aggressivekeyboard #wish the scene had been as fucked up as this#give that boy the Horrors#but this slaps

@acute-octogon #ooof pain#hug him and build a lyre with him please

@din-skywalker #this is why you need to hug your son more#and he does in r :)

@the-poorgroomsbride #love this scene#boy really let it all out#loved this whole chapter tbh#except the dark elf king guy he kicked my ass royally the first time#took me like two hours to beat him#and I was REFUSING to lower the difficulty#I was at the balanced level#do you have something to say boy#I SAID THE ONLY TIME YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME IS WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING#god tier

@sapphcon-ic #fucking sick#wanna see a flashback of atreus defending himself against dark elves so bad

favorite scene

[quietwingsinthesky]

Rate your blorbos on how good they are at sex and why

I'm assuming, anon, that in coming to a spn blog, you will not be insulted if the majority of these are spn blorbos. I'll go from best to worst. Also, can't tell if you mean "objectively good at sex" or like "good at sex in my opinion." I'm gonna assume the latter because it's funnier.

Gomez & Morticia Addams - 20/10 - They would both score very high separately, but you cannot separate them. That's illegal. Canonically they are hot and they are fucking. Probably use knives in interesting ways, and that's on vanilla days.

Nick spn - 15/10 - I feel like Nick should not be up this high?? i'm sorry, i'm not immune to sad pathetic wife man. Again, canonically? he fucks. Pros: i could definitely top this man and he would be very into it. Cons: is in love with the devil? I mean, that's not so much a con to me but ymmv.

Kratos (God of War) - 13/10 - Oh! My newest blorbo! Look at him! He's huge! He's got big muscles! He is capable of both cutting someone's head off with a ax and also great gentleness! I REPEAT: CANONICALLY FUCKS! FUCKS SO WELL HE LANDED A HOT GIANT LADY!!!

Agnes Montague - 12/10 - Okay. Here me out. In the thirty seconds before all the flesh melted off your bones, Agnes Montague would blow your mind. And then, yes, literally blow your mind. But it would be so, so, so worth it. To me.

Raphael - 10/10 - I should be clear that I'm not rating Raphael so much on actual skill as on like. Vibes. Did you see that lightning? The drama? Imagine that, but during sex. Would you end up with some weird scars? Maybe. But the experience would be worth it.

Gabriel - 9/10 - Objectively probably pretty good at sex. He's been around a long time. However, it would also be extremely weird. This man thinks lava lamps set the scene. Sex is half a performance and half an experiment. And you know what? I love that. I want in. I wanna see what weird shit he'd get up to trying to be sexy.

Sam Winchester - 9/10 - Ruby/Sam sex scenes awoke something in me and I haven't been the same since. 'Nuff said.

Will Graham - 7/10 - Definitely cries during sex. This is not a con to me. He is weird and feral, and I dig that in a man. Probably gives good head.

Cersei Lannister - 5/10 - She is blonde and scary. Also, has a lot of experience. Canonically fucks? Taking points off for most of that experience being with her other family members, but I Am Not Immune To A Hot Mess On A Throne.

Lucifer - 4/10 - Canonically fucks (derogatory.) You can't tell me that sex with him would not be awkward as all hell. Best case scenario is that he's a bossy pillow princess. Worst case scenario is that you get exploded into very unsexy meat chunks. However... that tongue tho....

Blue Oak - 3/10 - Let's just say, I don't think their sex lives is what's holding the Blue/Red Alola marriage together.

Michael spn - 2/10 - Has the same problems as Lucifer except he's just regular bossy. Will present you with a spreadsheet describing how well you performed afterwards.

GLaDOS - 1/10 - No. No. Absolutely not. Well, maybe- NO.

Jonathan Sims - 0/10 - Canonically does not fuck. Good for him. Probably a terrible cuddler, too.

Michael Afton - -100/10 - That's a corpse, sir.

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

Oh, and, um, just to tak on to the blotlings idea (if you want to use it), maybe they could all have different forms depending on whose magic they were made from? (Dragonoids were made from Malleus, Snakes from Jamil, Sea Monsters from Azul, and maybe...Cards? For Riddle?? Idk for Vil and Idia tho..)

I loved this idea!

So, all blotlings would basically look like you and the dorm leaders child.

Riddles are wrapped with thorns and roses, some have heads, some don't. They use the roses that grow wherever they walk to attack, usually going for the neck, and very hard to catch.

Leona's are basically more lion like and feral, using physical based attacks to fight, best to fight them at a long range.

Azuls use magic or tridents, some look more human while others have oceanic vibes, but are fairly weak and rely on your magic to function, so they stay close to you.

Jamils are nagas, or humans with snake like features. Very fast, on the offense, and venomous. These are probably the second hardest to kill, after Malleus' blotlings. Don't touch their ink.

Vils are made of glass, fragile, and use magic to fight. They also stay close to you as well, and need your magic to attack, though a good hit can have them shattered into pieces. The glass is made of magic mirrors and all contain heavy amounts of said magic. Once the fight is over no one can let those pieces go into the wrong hands.

Idias are like nymphs and spirits, disruptive to any technology, and are few and fat between. Very stealthy and hard to kill due to this. Their flames are very hot, keep your distance.

Malleus' basically look like a more feral version of draconic Fae. They attack from the sky, and the only way to kill them would be God of War style, like how Kratos kills the Valkyries in the game. Beware of literally everything about them, and be extra cautious when you catch one, because the rest will come to aid the one in your hands.

[greensolivagant]

Fandom Masterlist

The Masterlist will be updated as I post.

The Witcher

+ Touch-Starved Geralt - Geraskier

+ Short and Sweet - Geraskier

+ Alternate Universe - Geraskier

Outlast: Whistleblower

+ Canon-Compliant - Weddie

+ Alternate Universe - Weddie

Supernatural

+ Alternate Universe - Wincest

+ Canon-Compliant - Wincest

+ Sam and Dean Fics To Cry Over - Gen

+ Rare Parings - Multi

Our Flag Means Death

+ Protective Blackbeard - BlackBonnet

God of War

+ Best Dad Kratos - Gen

Teen Wolf

+ Feral Derek - Sterek

Hannibal Extended Universe

+ Spacedogs - Nigel/Adam

[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Tales Of Arrival Chapter 2

Welp, I was gonna update Heroes After All next but I ran out of steam after that had a constant stream of updates for a while. So I decided to work on this fic instead. Here is where things start picking up: 

Chapter 2: Seeking Feeling

Kratos woke up on the bed he was provided. He checked himself quickly. Still was stuck in the form this strange "Noibat" creature. It wasn't a dream. He still had no clue what was going on. He sighed.

He heard a knock on the door. He went over to check and opened it.It was Edbark. 

"Hey Kratos! I gotta show you around!"

Kratos sighed. "Please, show me around."

Edbark dragged him by the wing, taking him everywhere, explaining everything too fast for Kratos to fully process - the sleeping quarters they came from, game rooms, strategy rooms, the guildmaster's quarters - wasn't he just here yesterday? - the storeroom for equipment, the storeroom for food and items, sentry posts, the infirmary - he was also there yesterday - the vendors outside, bathrooms... 

Finally they came to a mess hall, attached to a kitchen and a bar. In the kitchen a strange apple-pie-dragon was busy cooking despite his squat body while a spiny purple rhino-rabbit handed drinks to thirsty Pokemon. 

"And this is where everyone eats and drinks! Oh, you probably need breakfast, don't you?"

"I-"

Kratos' stomach rumbled. It seemed this new body needed food more than his angel one. 

"...Yes please."

"Okay! Come on we'll get you something."

Edbark and Kratos headed over to the apple pie dragon, who was shovelling mush into bowls from atop a platform.

"Hey Chef Bramley! What have we got today?"

"Oh, Edbark!" said Bramley, his ear-like eyes perking up to take a look. "And... a new friend?"

"This is Kratos! You're serving your special spiced oatmeal porridge today yes? We'll have some!"

"Oh, of course! Coming right up!"

Using his mouth to manipulate a ladle Bramley scooped oatmeal porridge into two bowls he sprinkled strange colorful beans on top of before pushing toward the two.

"With complimentary Gummis. Enjoy!"

"Thank you!" said Edbark.

Edbark carefully manipulated the bowl with his paws, moving it twoards a table. Kratos gripped the bowl in his wing claws and followed, finding a purple rat in loose bits of clothing and armor already there. 

"Hey Edbark!" he said. "'Bout time you got here!" He raised an eyebrow at Kratos. "Who's this?"

"Hey Ricki! This is Kratos!" said Edbark. "I found him unconscious with barely any memories outside of town... Only knew he wasn't a feral by his weird coloring and the belts he was wearing."

"Yes, that's me, the poor poor amnesiac," Kratos said.

"Ow, geez, that's rough," said Ricki. "Well you can sit with us, we'd appreciate the company!"

Kratos noticed the three of them were sitting far away from any other Pokemon, save the ones at the bar.

"Why are you two by yourselves?"

Riki rolled his eyes. "We haven't formed a proper Adventurer Squad yet. They think they're better than us."

Edbark looked to a small blue canine sitting across from them a fair distance away.

"Uh, hey, Stella? You can still totally join us!"

Stella gave them a look before scooching further away. 

"Why do you even bother trying to convince her, Edbark?" said Ricki. "She's cold as ice. Stick in the mud. She's never wanted to even acknowledge us."

He looked over to Kratos. "You rescued this guy right? Recruit him instead!" 

"What? Hell no!" said Edbark. "He's got amnesia! I can't ask him to be on an Adventurer Squad! And even if I did the Guildmaster would never allow it!"

"Well, why would you need me?" said Kratos.

"Every new Adventurer Squad needs to be approved by the Guildmaster himself," said Ricki. "And he won't approve of just me and Edbark by ourselves! We've tried!"

"So we've been looking for a third mon to hopefully convince him we've got what it takes," said Edbark. "But no luck."

"It's stupid is what I tell you," said Ricki. "Stoakes has approved two-person Adventurer Squads before! It's like, the minimum, and he recommends three or four, but still."

Kratos thought to himself. Did he really need to babysit a bunch of children again? Especially when neither of them were his son?

"Well, good luck with that," said Kratos. 

Edbark sighed. "It sucks... The opening ceremony of the Seeking is tonight! If we don't get our act together by the time everyone sets off for it we'll have to wait another year!"

Kratos raised an eyebrow. Didn't Stoakes mention that? "The Seeking?"

"Oh no no no," said Riki, "don't get him going he'll-"

Too late. Edbark turned toward Kratos, eyes sparkling. 

"The Seeking is the most wonderful thing! Everyone gets together for a big festival! The queen of Spectroma - that's the nation Rainbow Wing City is the capital of - shows up! Ho-Oh himself shows up! And then shooting stars called Reality Shards fall out of the sky and Adventurer Squads have to gather them all for a big ritual to stave off the darkness!"

Kratos barely stopped himself from frowning. Something about this seemed familiar in a way he didn't like.

"I see. Fascinating."

"Ha! Kratos gets me!" said Edbark.

"Whatever," said Ricki, nibbling his oatmeal porridge, making sure to eat the strange jellybean-like items along with it. Kratos poked at his.

"What are these beans?"

"Those are gummis!" said Edbark, eating some himself. "They're what makes Poke-society go round!"

"How so?" said Kratos.

"Oh no you're going to get him going again with the expo-"

"They're one of the things made from the leftovers of a Mystery Dungeon! They make a Pokemon's brain less feral, so Pokemon can live and work together without, you know, trying to kill or eat each other!"

Concerning. "Mystery Dungeon?"

"They're these big warps in reality that turn the surrounding area into a hazardous dungeon! They spread like a disease and can only be destroyed by going to the bottom and destroying the core!"

Kratos disliked what he heard about this world the longer he stayed here.

"I see, thank you."

"Can we eat now?" said Ricki, looking at his porridge longingly.

"Yeah, I'm done," said Edbark, "Unless Kratos has any more questions.

"I know all I need to for now," said Kratos.

He started hesitantly eating his porridge and Gummies. He felt he was going to get involved in something eventually. He just wasn't sure what.

And that? That scared him.

-----------

In a dark throne room, a Decidueye sat, looking around from her throne. Mainly because she was bored, waiting for something.

Finally something did come, in the form of a Steenie, in a uniform, looking very nervous. The Decidueye leered down at her.

"Are the preparations ready?"

"Y-yes Empress Nyra, they're all ready for tomorrow."

"Good. The Seeking is tomorrow. We must make sure it all goes exactly as planned."

The Steenie shifted awkwardly. Nyra rolled her eyes. "Yes?"

"Since I helped get this done, Empress... Would you put in a word for me to advance in the ran-"

Thunk.

The Steenie froze in place as a shadowy arrow stopped just shy of hitting them.

"No. Your boldness entertained me so I let you off light. You'd best get out of here before I decide on more painful ways of using you for entertainment."

The Steenie yelped and exited the throne room as quickly as she could. The door closed behind her with a bang.

Nyra slouched and gave a bird smirk.

----------

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Kratos was now being dragged from the Adventurer's Guild By Edbark, Ricki in tow, to a public stage in the middle of the city built around an altar. The trio sat in special nooks built into the stands as more Pokemon piled in.

There was murmuring among the crowd. Then cheering as a strange pastel witch-like Pokemon wearing jewels on her "hat"  and a lemur holding a cane came up to the altar. 

"Look! It's Queen Ceridwen! And her assistant Pari Passu!" said Edbark. "Come on, Edbark, I'm sure even Mr. Amnesiac knows them!" said Ricki.

"I don't, actually," said Kratos.

"...Carry on then," said Ricki.

"People of Spectroma!" said Ceridwen. "It is time once again for the grand festival of all realms, the Seeking!" 

The crowd's applause became even more raucous. 

"Tonight, the stars shall fall, lighting a path for our brave Adventurer Squads... And joining us for this event..."

A rainbow glow. A flapping of wings. A massive orange and gold bird with iridescent shimmering feathers alight upon the altar. Kratos sensed great power emanating from it, greater than the angelic power he once had.

Then it looked straight at him and paused. Kratos could feel a tingling down his tiny bat spine, as if this bird's eyes could see who he truly was.

"Who... Is that?"

"Ho-oh..." said Edbark, entranced.

"He's the patron Legendary of Spectroma," said Ricki. "He's like, a god..."

A god? Kratos remembered the lies of Cruxis, the ones Yggdrasil spun, the ones he partook in. What qualified as a god was rather nebulous to him. Yet this Ho-Oh, at the very least, felt like one.

"Greetings, all of you," said Ho-Oh. "It is an honor to be with you all. May your strongest hearts, souls, and minds be ready for the Seeking... and for the rest of you to be ready to celebrate!" 

He gestured a wing toward the starry sky. 

"But let us watch and wait for the Reality Shards to fall!"

The crowd fell into utter silence as their heads looked up at the stars. For a while - Kratos couldn't tell how long - everything was dead silent.

Then a sparkling green streak soared through the sky and touched down far away. Then another. And another. The cheering resumed as more and more kept raining down.

"Are those..." said Kratos.

"Reality Shards!" said Edbark. "They say Arceus themself makes them!"

"Arceus? Who is tha-"

There was a rumble. A red and purple shooting star far different from the others careened through the sky and landed somewhere distant with a boom. There were gasps of horror and shock as the crowd - and even Ho-Oh, Cerwiden, and Pari Passu started panicking.

"Is that not supposed to happen?" said Kratos. "It is definitely not supposed to happen!" said Ricki. "What was that thing?"

Then Kratos felt it. Not only was Ho-oh staring into his very being again, Cerwiden was too. Pari Passu, meanwhile, was trying desperately to calm the crowd.

"Everyone! Calm yourselves! It's probably nothing! Maybe! Oh, of all the times something goes wrong it has to be the Seeking..."

-----------------

The group had made it back to the Adventurer's Guild. The Pokemon around them were murmuring to each other in worry.

"How did this happen?"

"Is this an omen? Of what?"

"Did the Empire do this?"

Kratos' sharp ears picked up on the empire thing but did not act on it. He was too focused on Ricki and Edbark.

"What are we gonna do?!" said Edbark.

"We can't do jack shit!" said Ricki. "We have no clue what's going on!"

"Easy, you two," said Kratos. "We'll figure something out..."

Kratos felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. It was Guildmaster Stoakes.

"Er? Kratos? Unusual request at a time like this but... You have an audience with the Queen. And Ho-Oh himself."

Edbark and Ricki gasped. "Wow really? Cool!" said Edbark.

"What does she want him for though?"

Kratos sighed. He should have seen this coming.

--------------

Kratos was led by Stoakes and his two assistants, to the second castle, through winding hallways, to a throne room where he saw quite the menagerie. 

Queen Cerwiden was there. Pari Passu was there. Ho-Oh, sitting on a gilded perch, was there.

"What do you all want with me?" said Kratos.

"My apologies for dragging you in so suddenly," said Cerwiden, "But Ho-oh sensed something strange and powerful about you, I did as well, and given the situation... We needed to investigate."

"We sensed something unusual about him as well," said one of the Metang.

"Yeah!" said the other Metang. "Like his brainwaves were giving off real freaky vibes!"

"Ferrite, Pearlite, you could have told me that earlier..." said Stoakes, crossing his arms.

"Point is," said Ho-Oh, "Kratos. Who are you? And what do you know, if anything, about that meteor? Is it the Empire's doing?"

"Who I am is complicated. But I do not know anything about this meteor. Nor this empire."

Kratos felt his mind being probed from multiple directions.

"He is telling the truth." said Ferrite.

"No lies here!" said Pearlite.

"What did I tell you two about probing people's brains without asking?" said Stoakes.

The two slunk back in shame.

"Sorry..." said Pearlite.

"We won't do it again." said Ferrite.

"So you are a separate debacle from the meteor and the empire..." said Pari Passu. "Regardless, Lord Ho-Oh's question of "who are you" still stands. We can deal with "complicated"."

Kratos sighed. Then he told them everything. The last four thousand years or so, Mithos, Yggdrasil, Yuan, Anna, Lloyd, Lloyd's friends, the quest they all went through... the only thing he left out (since he did not feel the probing Psychic presence of Ferrite and Pearlite) was any mention that none of those involved were Pokemon. By the end of his very long tale the jaws of all the other Pokemon had dropped in shock.

"Incredible... You're a Legendary from another world and you were sent here..." said Cerwiden. "But why?"

Legendary? Kratos certainly wouldn't describe himself as such. "Your guess is as good as mine. The voice didn't tell me."

"This voice could still be affiliated with the Empire!" said Pari Passu. "It could be part of their plan!"

"It could be," said Cerwiden, "But this Kratos gives off a feeling he is not against us. He could help."

"Well what do you suppose he do?" said Parri Passu.

"Hmmmm... Perhaps he could help us investigate the meteor," said Ho-Oh.

"That's a good idea!" said Stoakes. "Given what he's been through he'll be well at home in an Adventurer Squad."

"Hmph," said Pari Passu. "Well Kratos? Are you up for it?"

"I accept," said Kratos.

"See, he's not up for it, time to find someone el- wait, really?"

"As Stoakes said I'm... Qualified."

"We are grateful for your assistance, Kratos Aurion," said Cerwiden, bowing.

"Alright!" said Stoakes. "I'll get you signed up with one of our most skilled Adventurer Squads straight away!"

Kratos thought a bit. About Loyd, Genis, Collete, Sheena, the others...

"Actually," said Kratos. "I want Edbark and Ricki's help."

Stoakes' eyes widened. Ferrite and Pearlite looked at each other in disbelief. "Those two?" said Stoakes."They aren't fit to form an Adventurer Squad just yet!"

"Not by themselves maybe," said Kratos. "But as you could ascertain from my tale I have seen young people like them do great things. And if I were to help them..."

Stoakes put a paw to his chin. "Now you mention what you said about your son and his friends I can kinda see your logic. Hm..."

He nodded.

"I think we can make this work."

-----------------------

Some time later, back at the Adventurer's Guild, Edbark and Ricki stared at Kratos and Stoakes.

"So wait," said Edbark. "Kratos is being sent on a big mission to investigate the meteor during the Seeking... and he wants our help?"

"He said he thinks you two have potential!" said Stoakes. "And honestly, about time I give you two a shot at the Adventurer Squad life."

"...Holy shit." said Ricki. "We made it!"

"Woo!" said Edbark. "Finally! Thanks a ton Kratos!"

"Don't start celebrating just yet," said Kratos. "The road ahead will be hard. I was assigned partially to prepare you for it."

"Right, right," said Ricki, nodding.

"Also! Before I forget..." said Stoakes.

He produced three small badges with a Rainbow Wing insignia on them.

"These are your Guild badges! If you need help, use these to Teleport back to the guild anytime from a waypoint or inside a dungeon!"

Edbark and Ricki took the badges eagerly, Kratos less eagerly. 

"We won't let you down Guildmaster Stoakes!" said Edbark.

"Or at least we'll try not to!" said Ricki.

Stoakes chuckled. "Well at the very least I and Kratos have your back. But... don't you all need a team name?"

"Oh! Oh, uh, this is hard..." said Ricki.

"Hey! Why don't we let Kratos pick?" said Edbark. "He's the reason we're in this team in the first place."

Kratos did a headtilt. Then thought. And thought. And thought some more. Until something finally came to him. 

"Team Symphonia."

"That... actually has a nice ring to it," said Ricki.

"We'll take it!" said Edbark.

Stoakes nodded. "Alright, we gave Kratos some instructions on where to go to start off with but you two know the maps better than he does, so help him if he gets lost, okay?"

"Got it!" said Edbark.

"Well, you three best get prepared. Good luck out there. May Ho-oh's wingbeats guide you."

Ricki and Edbark nodded and waved Stoakes off as they left, Kratos following. One thought was on his mind.

Something was inevitably going to go wrong. Probably multiple somethings. He needed to be prepared - and he needed to prepare Edbark and Riki.

****

At last our heroes are on the move! But what will they find? Find out next time! ...Whenever that is. 

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #23: Favorite Bad Movie Monster

Alright, so most of these movies aren’t really all that bad; they’re just kind of ‘meh’. But they would have been a lot worse without these cool and/or goofy monsters.

1.       Jabberwocky (Alice in Wonderland 2010)

I am prepared to disclose that Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland was not horrible, but 60% of that opinion stems from the Jabberwocky. (The remaining 40%is 30% the other monster designs and 10% lesbian subtext.) The Jabberwocky has always been my favorite part of the Alice mythos (surprise surprise), and not to sound petty, but I have dropped Alice movies just for not including the brilling beast. Burton’s Jabberwocky might not be my favorite, but it has a lot going for it. The way they treat it is basically as Wonderland’s Tarrasque; a living WMD, a legendary kaiju, the ur-monster in a world teeming with dangerous and crazy creatures. The way it wakes up is even a direct nod to Chernabog from Fantasia; they are literally equating this thing to the Devil.

Second off; Christopher Lee.

Finally, when the Jabberwocky meets Alice to fight, he says this thing about meeting his ‘old foe’, ‘the vorpal one’, in battle again. It is made explicitly clear that he is talking about the vorpal blade, not Alice. And that just… I don’t want to say that that changes the entire movie, but yeah, it kind of does. The implications here are that the vorpal blade and the Jabberwocky have fought each other countless time before in the past. The history of Wonderland is just the history of a dragon and a magic sword fighting. Is the vorpal blade sentient? How many times have these two fought? This kind of transforms everything about the setting the movie has established for the last hour and a half. It’s just so filled with so much potential to me.

2.       Torgo (Manos: The Hands of Fate)

Y’know, when you’re in a dark place, you have to find your own light. A source of motivation, something you can cling to to pull you through to the other side. Maybe that’s a dream, a goal at the end of the tunnel, or maybe it’s a hero, someone you can look up to. I’m not saying that Torgo is a hero, but he inspires me. There are weeks at work where I just don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I come home at night to an empty room and fall asleep alone. It gets hard, is what I’m saying. But you know who never stopped trying, even though he hated his job and was lonely too?

Torgo. That’s who.

Everyday Torgo gets up, throws on his blazer and hat, and he goes out there and busses a haunted motel for a boss he hates. But he does it, every day. And if Torgo can do it, you can too. So you’ve got to get out there and be the best damn lackey you can. You’ve got put in the work to make it to tomorrow. And when the good times roll in and come shining down on you, you take a minute to remember the man who helped you get here. Take a minute to remember Torgo, looking down on you from Cloud No. 9, shedding a tear.

3.       Radu (Seventh Son)

The Last Apprentice series is actually a pretty cool (and grim) series of dark fantasy/horror young adult novels, kind of like junior’s first Solomon Kane. The Seventh Son movie based on the series has piss-all to do with it, and its only redeeming features are some cool monster designs and Jeff Bridges. Of those cool monster designs, the stand-out for me is Radua aka Muslim Dragon Kratos. He’s one of our villain witches chief thugs, and is unnecessarily cool for a side-character. He’s got this whole Nosferatu Zodd code of honor thing, and wields these two chain blades and probably could have been the villain in his own movie.

Now that alone would have been a neat detail, but then he can turn into what I honestly consider one of the more interesting dragons in recent cinema. I talked before about how one archetype of dragons was of being these unholy, scavenger type wilderness monsters, and that’s kind of the vibe I get from Radu’s dragon form. It’s all lanky and feral looking. It has too many limbs, and it walks around like it doesn’t know how. It’s another unnecessarily cool design for such a generic movie, and it’s definitely worth checking out.

4.       Krakensaurus (Jack the Giant Slayer)

I don’t want to be mean and discount Jack the Giant Slayer as ‘discount Ray Harryhausen’, but thems is the breaks, as the saying goes. The movie is kind of charming in how earnestly it plays to being a 1960s fantasy movie, with princesses in pink dresses and warlocks with goatees and a rhyming leprechaun. The movies stop-motion monsters don’t really live up to industry standards, though. But I can’t sit here and lie and say that I don’t have a special fondness for the sea monster at the end. The movie’s penultimate scene sees our heroes trying to escape the warlock’s castle, so the villain summons a two-headed giant (or ettin, if you know your monsters) which looks suspiciously like one of Ray Harryhausen’s cyclopes. Trapped in a sea cave, the rhyming leprechaun trapped in a bottle (roll with it) summons a sea monster to deal with the problem.

Sometimes it’s the little things in life, like watching two weird looking monsters fight to the death. Our sea monster is a blue-green mixture of kraken and allosaurus, and I’m pretty sure its toy had more detailing than the actual moving model. When this guy showed up on the screen, six year old me was hype enough to punch through a wall. I spent the next week drawing pictures of him so I wouldn’t forget him. This movie has 100% more sea monsters and singing leprechauns than The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, and that almost makes up for its deficit skeleton warriors.

5.       Queen of the Lair (She Creature 2001)

Stan Winston was on the helm for this little lady’s monster design, and it shows. A mermaid queen, it’s hard to tell if her monster form is her real shape or just something she can morph into. Even her basic mermaid form is pretty interesting; the split tails remind me of sirens or tritons. Her monster shape, though, is pure Stan Winston gold. There’s more than a little bit of the xenomorph queen in there, between the crest and the fangs. Someone threw it into a blender with a sea serpent and a viper fish and what comes out is the most badass mermaid to ever slink across cinema. She rips people’s heads off, her tail is covered with bone spikes, and she can sing a siren song to summon up her mermaid swarm. Oh, and psychic impregnation powers. That part’s kind of important.

6.       She Creature (She Creature 1956)

Aforementioned sea monster queen was part of a series of horror films based on old b-movies, so this is the original She Creature. Even today, this is one of my favorite designs from the 1950s. Paul Blaisdell might just be the king of B-movie monster suits, and belongs up there with Ray Harryhausen in the great monster hall of fame. The she creature looks like the sum product of an orc, a lobster, and a scorpionfish. It’s a shame you only see her in monochrome, because her color scheme is a startling mix of green and pink. What I find most fascinating is the concept that this is supposed to represent some parallel evolutionary stage of humanity. This is supposed to be a different version of Homo sapiens that never left the sea. Stan Winston’s mermaid queen is great, but I would still love to see an updated and more articulate version of this design.

7.       Vampire Spawn (Van Helsing)

This raises so many questions. So the crux of Van Helsing is that Dracula needs Frankenstein’s monster to power a force-field that will allow his swarms of vampire spawn to survive past infancy. I bet you thought vampires reproduced by biting people, right? Well, apparently they also have egg-sacs. Just, massive, Aliens style egg-sacs full of bat/human fetus monsters hungry for blood. It’s so stupid that I love it. These things are horrible and adorable; they remind me of chupacabras. I want one as a familiar, or at least statted up for a tabletop roleplaying game. Just really try to avoid thinking about the whole egg-sacs thing and all the implications that brings to vampire mythology.

8.       Emperor Tyrannus (Attack of the Super Monsters)

I don’t… I don’t think I have the strength to really get into Attack of the Super Monsters. When I watched it, liquor was involved. Describing it reads like a parody of Japanese media that involves anime, men in monster suits, and giant robots meant to sell collectible toys. But it’s real, and the realest shit ever is Emperor Tyrannus. Emperor Tyrannus is literally a giant tyrannosaurus rex who is the evil mastermind of an underground civilization of dinosaurs. The dinosaurs talk, because shut up, and Emperor Tyrannus in particular talks with a villain voice that I just can’t really convey through text. I think the closest I can get is saying that he sounds like someone doing an imitation of Brian Blessed while having a stroke. Emperor Tyrannus shoots laser beams from his eyes that mind control the other dinosaurs into being evil, and watches them fight a hermaphroditic cyborg superhero in a drill/airplane. Look, you need to see this for yourself. I’m not doing this justice. Get your friends, find the DVD, and strap in for a wild ride.

9.       Witch Tree (The Last Witch Hunter)

The Last Witch Hunter is another guilty pleasure move where Vin Diesel brings what I’m pretty sure is one of his D&D characters to a movie and somehow ropes Michael Cain and Elijah Wood into it with him. Our villains are, in a surprising twist, witches that cook up some fairly grotesque magic. One of the creatures meant to act as the witches’ guardians is a magical sentinel, and it just goes so hard and so dark for what amounts to a stick golem. It’s the fine details that make this construct stand out. The extra limbs let it move faster and have extra attacks, the jawbones around the front form a crude mouth, and the branch rib-cage makes it look like something that used to be alive instead of something that was just magically summoned. There’s so much work poured into this one monster, and it’s definitely a treat to see it at the end of the movie. Rethink your golems, kids; treat yourself better.

10.   Giant Leeches (Attack of the Giant Leeches)

I used to be pretty intensely leech-phobic when I was younger (and by younger, I mean a couple of years ago), but even then I knew the giant leeches were lame. Incredibly lame. Like, honestly kind of pathetic. I kind of like them out of a bizarre sense of pity. Giant leeches should scare me, but these guys are just goofy. A leech isn’t a hard design; it’s a tube with a sucker on each end. But I am almost convinced that the person who designed these monsters had never actually seen a leech, or possibly even a worm. But the movie still treats them with all the dignity and awe of the Creature of the Black Lagoon. There are prolonged sequences of these guys swimming underwater, floating around like hungry garbage bags. These things are not, nor were they ever, leeches; they are some kind of aquatic octopus or confused anemone. That’s why they need our love, our protection; because they’re too stupid to survive by themselves.