#fenrys x y/n

[throneofsapphics]

track 32

Fenrys x Reader x Lorcan

Summary: Cursed to fall in love, only to have everything ripped away from you, moving on to your next life already feels like a drag, only things don't quite follow their usual patterns.

Warnings: discussions of death, Maeve, brief description of torture, happy ending

Word Count: 8077

A/N: the HAPPIEST of birthdays to @whisperingmidnights <3 I hope you have an amazing day (& thank you to @rowaelinsdaughter for your help)

You tumbled into your new body. Again. At least this time the Gods let you skip through the childhood years, instead flooding your mind with memories of your new past. You could only be a toddler so many times before truly losing the last grip on your sanity. 

You’d think so much pain and suffering would flood together, the lives all melting into one giant messed up pot but instead each experience remained distinctly painful to you. Distinctly full of suffering and sour memories. You, obviously, hadn’t survived a single one and your trek across the multiverse was written in blood. 

It took you up until life 15 to really stop holding onto so many grudges, especially considering you seemed to be destined to fall for the same people each time. Not the same types of people, but the actual same person. 

Whoever put a curse on you had been clever. If you were cursed, perhaps you were just really damn unlucky. But right now you needed a bath, a hot meal, and a good night’s rest. Of course you were drunk. Fresh in from a night out on the town with one of your friends, but you had good some good fortune in this life - your own apartment. 

Tossing clothes off as you walked, you beelined towards where you knew the bathing room was. You were pretty certain you’d stayed in this exact apartment building before, and if you remembered correctly each apartment had near identical layouts, the entire building cheap and designed for efficiency. In this life, you’d made it your own more than in the previous ones. 

You stepped into the tub, let the cold water hit your toes, partially sobering you, rivulets of now psycho-somatic grime and blood streaming from your body to pool in clear water at your feet. 

A mind healer would have a field day with you and you knew it all too well. 

Plugging the drain, you adjusted it to reach the perfect temperature. Yes, an efficiency building but still had hot running water. It was odd, but you didn’t question it - you were a creature of comfort after all. 

You wondered when you’d see them again. You wished you could say that tall of your interactions started off on a fresh beat, that you had it together enough not to judge them based on versions of them in a different universe, but you weren’t. 

Having it together? Maybe, certainly not on that level though. Having it together enough to appreciate their presence at this moment? Hell no. 

After last time. 

“We’re done,” he mumbled, not willing to make eye contact with you. 

“Then say it to my face,” you glanced between both of them. 

Heads down. Eyes downcast - first time you’d seen them like that. 

“Then I really meant that little, didn’t I?”

“No,” one said - you could barely distinguish who through the raging steam in your ears and tears down your cheeks. 

“Yes,” the other said. You didn’t know or care who said what. It didn’t matter. Later, just before the death took you you’d find out who made them do it and realize it still didn’t matter. She may have forced them to lie, but they didn’t have to be quite so convincing. 31 lives had taught you logic had no place in heartbreak. 

The memory hit you like a physical blow to the chest, a stinging and pressure left in its wake. That heartbreak had killed you the quickest of them all. 

Three days. 

It was part of your curse, you’d figured out. To always know. What life you were on, the details of your past lives, how long it took you to do, what the death felt like, every little detail was committed to memory all because you’d dared to love someone a little too much, and ended up stealing them away from a wicked witch. 

Well, the story didn’t go quite like that but you thought it sounded better in your head that way. In reality, you’d fallen in love and done something stupid, as all people in love do from time to time. 

You and Lorcan had agreed you should try to get Fenrys out, that although it would be more difficult to get him released, Fenrys needed it more. You didn’t have the guts to tell him you needed both of them like you needed air, but there hadn’t been time for that. All of your moments were stolen and borrowed time. 

“Will you please release him from your service?” You were on your knees, begging. “Please, Majesty.” 

The harsh flooring dug into your knees but you kept the same subservient pose. For someone with so much pride, this was humiliating and your Queen knew it. 

“No.” 

One flat and toneless word. 

“No?” You repeated. 

Wicked red lips curved into a smile. “That is what I said.” 

You had several choice words for her after, and she’d responded with a fucking curse. Cursed to always love, but to never have it stick, cursed to die from heartbreak. 

Even after all of these lives the word ‘curse’ was still ugly in your mouth, still made your stomach heave and back seize at the memories. The times you’ve run into the Queen she hadn’t recognized you, but you knew she was still untouchable. Frequently made that way by the ones you loved. 

The breeze sneaking through the poorly insulated window highlighted how water already chilled around you. You didn’t miss that part of this building, the tub held next to no heat and your bathwater always ended up cold in less than fifteen minutes. 

You were tempted to stay still and prune, but there was no use in it. A new life, new things to do. 

Dragging yourself out of the tub, you dried off as efficiently as you could make yourself, scrounged up some comfortable clothes and headed to your desk. Grabbing a notepad and pen, you began writing. 

number thirty-one. 

It was a ritual of sorts, perhaps your imaginary mind healer would be proud of you for it, for getting all of your pain out on paper as soon as possible. 

Right before you burned it. 

Tossing the five sheets of paper on the flames felt good.

Running into them happened far too quickly for your liking. It always did. Life always started and finished too damn fast. 

You glanced in the mirror, at what you’d chosen to wear for the night out with your not-really-new friends. The dress fit you perfectly, and showed just enough to leave you feeling bold without being uncomfortable. The gold wrapped around your wrists helped too. Not too much to look rob worthy, but enough to make you feel like some extra type of sheen was thrown over you. Maybe, just maybe this life would bring you a little luck. Was gold supposed to be good luck? You didn’t know, but maybe you’d figure out how to look it up later. If you remembered to. 

You felt something warm in your chest, not unlike the flush from the first sip of whiskey. Closing your eyes you could’ve sworn it tugged, dragged you towards another. 

No, not in this or any life. It wasn’t possible. 

No matter how many times you fell in love and in how many ways, you’d never found a mate and were convinced you were destined not to. 31 lives was enough time to find a mate, a life partner. You should’ve had that done in by life 10. 

It was funny, how you’d started measuring your existence in lives rather than years. After all, it fit your circumstances. Permanently destined to be a temporary existence in others lives, and for their existence and influence to end yours. If there was a way out of this, a stopping or breaking of the curse you figured you would’ve found it by now. 

A loud pounding on the door and you hissed as the brush slipped, you barely moving your wrist away in time to save your face from a large black streak. 

“Gods,” you yelled, “hold on a damn moment.” 

“We’re going to miss the bard,” someone - Ella? Yes, Ella, shouted back. 

“Alright,” you groused loud enough for her to hear, “one moment.” 

One more swipe of kohl and you looked ready. A few deep breaths and you felt ready. 

Shoving the cosmetics to the back of the counter, you swung yourself around the doorway, grabbing your coat off the hook and flinging open the front door, finding your friend posed with their fist menacingly mid-air, probably about to break your door down. Memory clicked in, reminding you they can be a tad aggressive on a mission. 

Their mouth curved into a too-satisfied smirk, probably that their threats had work. Rolling your eyes, you shoved past them into the hall, quickly locking your door. 

“Anyone else for tonight?” 

“Just us,” they looped their arm through yours and started for the stairs. 

Ugh. Last time in this building you’d been on the ground floor, and you’d definitely miss the convenience of that, but at least you had a pretty balcony view here. It’s all give and take, you supposed. 

“Copper for your thoughts?” Ella’s voice interrupted you. 

How long had you zoned out? Was that a habit in this lifetime? You couldn’t remember. 

“Do I really look that broke?” You deflected. 

It worked, she laughed. Maybe it would’ve been nice if she pushed a little. 

-

Fenrys breathed in the fresh air. Maeve had sent him on a mission. Alone. Staking out Varese for several months, observing, but she didn’t exactly tell him what to look for. It was perhaps the most exciting and infuriating mission he’d been assigned. Infuriating, because he truly had no idea what in Hellas’s name he was supposed to do, exciting because he had months to spend doing whatever he thought ‘observing’ looked like. 

Yes, he knew it was a mockery of freedom but right now he’d take the gods-damned mockery over what he’s stuck in every day. 

Walking through the street, although he stuck to the shadows, unnoticed to the masses, it still felt like each face was sent there to tease him, remind him of the invisible leash tying him to that bitch for the rest of his life. He didn’t know how Lorcan, the bastard, did it with such glee and joy. At least Whitethorn had shown a measure of discontent at some point, he’d even seen a hint of it on perfectly loyal Gavriel’s face. 

Something caught his attention. Someone. 

Arm in arm with your friend, strolling down the street, exuding pure confidence. Someone aware of their place in this world and what they meant to it. The light in your eyes matched his own. Dimmed, flaring when necessary and just enough to keep up appearances. 

Only a fellow fraud would recognize it. 

He had to follow. It was insanity, but he needed to see more of you. 

That’s how he ended up nursing a drink in the corner of the bar, shadows wreathed around him, cloak pulled up to cover his face. He matched some of the many body guards of nobles around, and through some blessing not a soul had recognized him or even shot him a second glance. Perhaps Friday’s were quite a popular night for the elite to pretend, that or he’d gotten better at blending in. He didn’t know which to put his money on. 

Someone, however, caught all of the attention - including his, even when he tried to ignore the magnetic attraction tugging him towards you. Throwing your head back in a laugh, you danced along with your friend, clothing absolutely sinful and fitting right in. He loved it. Every part of your energy felt like it was tugging at him, urging him closer, closer, closer, and he realized just how dangerous that made you. 

Dangerous to him, and to yourself through him. 

No matter what, she hung over him like a storm cloud. 

Anything he might try to pursue with you would end before it could truly began, love or relationship cut off at its knees without a chance to truly blossom. Did he actually want it to? Could Fenrys actually be that selfish? 

Yes, if it came to you. He glanced down at his pint. Still half full, and rather weak shit. He wasn’t drunk but still managed to think complete nonsense. Nothing could happen, but for now he supposed it couldn’t hurt to imagine a fantasy life with a stranger he’d never see again live in the corner of his mind, so long as it it stayed there. He was so, so wrong. 

-

Lorcan Salvaterre knew about sacrifice. In fact, he was an expert at it, at this point. But, every bit was worth it for her. His Queen. The only female he’d truly loved to the point where he’d do anything and everything. 

Perhaps other love could have come his way, but it had never been the right time. Timing, in his opinion, shouldn’t matter. He’d always make the time for Maeve, and everything he’d done since meeting her had been for her. When she ordered him away, he left. When she kept him by her side - but never her bed - he stayed. Maeve said jump, he asked how high. 

That's why Lorcan was trying to figure out when in Hellas he’d become so disillusioned, starting thinking things so unlike him. He couldn’t tell her, couldn’t tell anyone. Lorcan didn’t have any friends or confidants, that wasn’t something he dealt in. To him, there was no purpose in friends when his entire life’s purpose was bound by blood to servitude. 

The closest thing he had to friends was his blood brothers, and like hell he’d ever tell them of this ... treachery waging war inside of his mind. 

Lunch swirled unpleasantly in his stomach as he thought of the word. Treason. 

When Maeve called him to the throne room, when he knelt before her, he mentally prepared himself for his immortal life to end rather early. She must know. She always knows. 

Instead, he needed to figure out how he’d pissed her off because she’d sent him off for some kind of torturous punishment. Keeping an eye on Fenrys, currently loose in Varese. 

“Anything I should watch out for in particular, majesty?” He was quite proud of how he kept the bitterness from his tone. Or thought he did. 

“You’ll know if you see something off,” she dismissed him with a wave. “Consider it a vacation, of sorts.” 

Blood sworn didn’t get vacations, he wanted to protest. He didn’t want - or need one. Had he really been slacking that much? The journey would provide adequate time for reflection, for him to dissect and figure out exactly where he’d gone wrong so he could prevent those mistakes in the future. That was essential. This trip however, like most things with Fenrys, would probably turn out to be a complete waste of his time. Time that could be spent doing much better things. But ... he supposed if this is what his Queen wanted him to do, it was exactly what he’d be doing, regardless of his feelings on the subject. His feeling always had been, and always would be inconsequential.

He was here. Already. Fuck. 

It was day 2, and you couldn’t catch a break. Is there such thing as a resting life? One where you could go through without any relationships, just peace and enjoying your moments of solitude? No, not for someone like you. 

Running away from them never worked, they would haunt your every movement until they consumed every last bit of you and scattered crumbs on the wind, only for the crumbs to reform and drag you back towards them. 

Do you embrace fate or run away from it? It was inevitable, what was the point in fighting anymore? You were so tired of it. Exhaustion rippled from you in waves, you were surprised everyone around you hadn’t noticed as soon as you walked in. 

Even if you wanted to, Fate, in the form of the most gorgeous man to exist, all bronze skin, onyx eyes, and golden hair, didn’t give you a choice. He slid into the bar stool next to you. 

You didn’t smile, at first, but your traitorous heart warmed in his presence. 

“Have we met before?” He said, jokingly. 

If only he knew. 

“Maybe in your dreams,” you slid your hand across the bar and grabbed your glass, drinking deeply. He winced. 

“Am I that bad of company?” 

“You’ve been here for,” you glanced at the clock pointedly, “a minute. It has nothing to do with you.” You’d tried every approach in the past to get them to see if it would deter them enough for them to circumvent fate, but nothing worked. Each version of you was destined for tragedy with each version of them. 

“That’s fair enough,” Fenrys replied. You reminded yourself you didn’t know his name. 

“What do they call you?” The words came out, regardless of your internal wince, knowing you were setting him up for a ridiculous line. 

“In b-”

You held a hand up and his mouth clamped shut. “No, no, none of that.” 

He laughed, deep and rich, a sound you ... had you heard that laugh from him before? Perhaps not, at least not in a few lives. Recently things had been so depressing. 

“I like you,” he nudged you gently with his elbow, your heart ached. 

not again not again not again. 

‘Yes,’ a cruel voice from red lips whispered in your mind, ‘again, again, again. Forever. This is what you deserve.’

Someone cleared their throat. Fenrys. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, glancing at the bottom of your nearly empty glass. Empty. Fuck. You couldn’t handle this sober. Were you sober? Your friends were long gone, all found partners for the night while you nursed your worries at the bar. “What’s your name?” You took the last sip of your drink as the last syllable left your lips, ideally it could hide any signs of a lie from him. 

“Fenrys,” he leaned back enough in his stool to extend his arm to you, rather formally. When you placed your hand in his, intending to squeeze it to death, he deftly rearranged your hands and raised your knuckles to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there. “At your service.” 

“Charmer,” you rolled your eyes but softly pulled your hand away and replied with your name. 

He said your name quietly, extending the vowels, as if testing how it sounded on his tongue, how it might sound in other - 

You chided yourself, pulling your mind out of the gutter. With the situation you knew he was always in, that was the last thing you needed to be thinking about. Or that he needed to be. You might not escape him, but you certainly wouldn’t do anything to make this harder on yourself. At least thats what you’re saying now. 

“Last call,” the gruff barman said, scowling at Fenrys before shooting you a smile. Your mind rattled through details. Right, you regularly shut this tavern down and always left a good tip. 

You leaned over to Fenrys and whispered low so the other male couldn’t hear, “he’s easy to win over. A good tip, manners, and easy orders.” 

Fenrys hid his snort in his drink, draining the last droplets. “Thank you for the advice, love,” he whispered conspiratorially. Asshole. 

“Whatever,” you mumbled and left your usual amount, sliding off the stool. Just because you were fated to make each other’s lives hell didn’t mean you had to deal with him being rude. Maybe you were just sensitive. 

A ‘wait’ followed you but you ignored it. Inevitable.

He caught up to you on the street, calling your name again. 

Something else struck you. He was alone in Varese. When did this happen? This was odd. Out of all of your lifetimes nothing had followed this pattern, never meeting so quickly and certainly not with Fenrys on his own with his leash rather loose for what the bitch prefers. You needed to figure out more. 

“Want to come back to my place for a drink?” You said, slowly turning to look at him. 

If he was surprised by your quick change of tune, he didn’t say a thing, only nodding and linking your arms together. Like he’d been waiting for a friend. The pain in your chest was physical as much as it was emotional. 

-

Lorcan was here to keep an eye on Fenrys, and if that meant sitting in the shadows on a rooftop, peering through a beautiful female’s stupidly open window then so be it. You walked around and even acted like you didn’t give a damn whether you lived or died, but he could tell you were smart, based on how you’d handled Fenrys. 

He’d ended enough lives to have an appreciation for it, and the way you were so gods-damned careless with yours pissed him off. 

Lorcan should be questioning why his feelings towards you are so strong, but instead he’s observing every little detail of the interactions between you and Fenrys. For his report, of course. He always paid attention to detail, there was no other reason than being thorough. At least he kept telling himself that. 

It wasn’t because he liked the way your hair moved, or how you rolled your eyes frequently at his blood-sworn brother, followed by a barely there smile that he only noticed because the shadows danced around it, as if you repelled the darkness. 

Maybe you could repel the darkness in him. 

What. The. Fuck. 

Lorcan hadn’t drank, and even if he had he never entertained thoughts like this. 

Refocusing, he committed to memory every detail of what Fenrys was doing, how he reacted to you, how attached he might be and how you might already be used against him by his Queen. 

An unfamiliar feeling settled in his stomach, tainting him. 

Guilt. 

He didn’t want to use you. 

But if it came to it, he wouldn't have a choice. He never really did. 

-

Fenrys whistled lowly on his way home, through the empty streets. Still aware of his surroundings, also aware that none would dare approach him - not with the steel and the stature he carried himself with, proof he knew how to use it. 

All he’d done is sit and talk with you for hours, in fact the dawn was currently beginning to crest over the city. Hours of sitting and talking felt like mere minutes with you, and he found he had more fun in that time than he had in years, perhaps decades, perhaps since entering Maeve’s service. 

It was sad, really, that you could only be a temporary fixture, for your own safety. 

Still, his mind rattled with ways to do the impossible, with how he could be with you forever without ... it was useless, really, to even ponder it. The false hope and ideas would only taint the present he had, for however long Maeve let him stay here in his ... his fantasy, he supposed. 

He could imagine many fantasies with you involved but the biggest was your friendship. The way you hadn’t hit on him, made any kind of sexual innuendos or advances, thats why he followed you out of the bar. Because you made him comfortable in a way nobody else had in so, so long. Like you’d been doing it for lifetimes. 

The scent hit him. The male wanted him to know he was there. His entire body stiffened, posture straightened slightly, pleasant after buzz from your intoxicating presence gone just like that. 

Lorcan Salvaterre. His commander. 

“Who was that?” Lorcan wasted no time and matched pace with him. 

“None of your business,” Fenrys snapped. Aware that he could be punished for it, but he didn’t care, he looked the male right in the eyes. 

Lorcan ... Lorcan didn’t push him. At all. Instead, something like understanding passed through his eyes. Had Lorcan needed to protect someone from Maeve before? 

Probably not. He was a cold hearted bastard through and through. 

“Keep her away,” the words were whispered on the wind - there and gone. Just like Lorcan, who melted into the shadows. 

Away from who? Lorcan didn’t say ‘keep away from her,’ and Fenrys knew everything the bastard did was intentional. 

Lorcan Salvaterre was here. You knew it, having caught the faintest hint of his unfortunately familiar scent, trailing after you like a hound. 

The fact that he was following you made you nervous. Yes, similar situations had occured before but everything about this time seemed so different that it filled you with mixed emotions. 

What are the odds there’s actually something good in store for you? Slim, you decided, based on history and reasoning, and you knew Lorcan Salvaterre stalking anyone was bad news, but especially for you when you had ... history with the Queen he so lovingly served.

Someone whose head deserved to be ripped right from her neck, you cast the thought into the universe and hoped it landed, hoped she felt a phantom prick in the side of her neck. 

Maybe she regretted cursing you to some kind of eternal half existence, always in and out of different worlds. Doubtful. More likely she tired of whatever game she decided to play for you and set the person who she knew would hurt the most to kill you. Even you could admit you were extrapolating. 

Maybe an attitude change could fix everything. A tad less drama. 

You glanced out the window, at the rain currently pouring down, at the moisture leaking into your apartment. The weather certainly didn’t match up for life changes, if anything it read of staying right where you were. 

Accepting it wouldn’t happen today, you saved the attitude change for the next sunny day. Those practically screamed change in fortune. Or you hoped they did. 

A week passed. You saw Fenrys each night at the Tavern, and scented a weirdly careless Lorcan on your trail each day. 

Your attitude may not have changed with the next bout of sunshine, but you had a plan. It was rather simple, to somehow draw Lorcan out. However, there was a difference between having a plan and knowing how to execute it. You supposed that made your plan an idea more than anything. 

Fenrys had mentioned business meetings he’d be attending one night, and you decided that was the perfect to do it. The perfect night to pretend to get sloshed, and you had the help of your favorite barkeep. 

Knowing Lorcan, he probably had questions for you, and wouldn’t miss the opportunity to get some answers while your inhibitions were ‘lowered.’ Arrogant males like him wouldn’t let opportunities slide by, but Lorcan Salvaterre stayed Maeve’s commander for a reason, and you knew your acting skills had to be top notch to keep him from becoming suspicious. 

-

“When will you stop pretending to drink those?” Lorcan asked gruffly as he slid into the stool next to you, his hulking frame towering over the bar and casting a shadow over you. You were a good actress, but he was better, and caught on after the first couple of drinks and exchanged looks between you and the barkeep, who you were on very friendly terms with. 

The obsession with you, the flares of irrational anger when another man trailed too close, Lorcan knew what this was, and knew he was screwing both of you over with it. Fated for misery and doom, no matter how the cards played out. He’d be stuck with her, Lorcan noted how she was demoted in his mind, and you’d be ... free. 

All those years he’d spent making fun of those males now served to make him feel like a lot of an asshole because he gotit. There was a crack in his armor, a weakness in his resolve, and nobody knew about it. He intended to keep it that way until you were far, far away from him and his ... his Queen, and then as long as possible after that. His stomach clenched at the thought of what she might do to you in order to help keep him in line. Nothing good, and everything bad. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answered primly, turning away from him. Why had he come over here again? 

He laughed, low and harshly. “Sure you don’t, sweetheart,” he exaggerated the last word - turning it into an insult. It didn’t feel right. His entire being flared against any insult to you, even coming from him. 

But ... the little flash of anger in your eyes, the way your nostrils flared, that was amusing. He liked the fire in you. “What did you call me?” 

He shrugged. 

You scoffed, muttering an insult he chose to ignore under your breath. “Nothing to say to that one?” You pushed when he didn’t answer, letting your elbow brush against his, “I thought it was creative. If you need me to I can keep going, there’s plenty where it came from.” 

“It was well done,” perhaps he wasn’t particularly in the mood to be insulted all night, and he got the sense you were more than capable of doing just that. 

“Well done,” you echoed, and he nodded. Your mouth curled into the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. 

-

In the future, you might just deny it ever happened, but Lorcan Salvaterre ended up in your apartment that night. You ignored the fact that he seemed to know the way there. There had always been plenty you were willing to ignore when it came to that male, and that hadn’t changed over the last however many lives. 

Once Lorcan - once he’d found his Queen, you’d been second. But before that, he’d made you his everything. You never could blame him for leading you to beg Maeve that first time, that cursed time. 

Still, on the nights when you were alone, when the rain or a pretty mountain outline reminded you of him, when everything felt too much, it was easier to pin it on him, even if it made you a horrible person. Horrible, even for an ex-lover, but then again you were always an expert at self-depreciation. 

Looking at the male now, like a statue of a God carved from granite, you knew he’d be the death of you. Again. But how could you fight him? You never had the strength to in the past. Maybe you weren’t trying to survive hard enough ... 

Things had never moved this quickly in the past, they’d always been at a pace just slow enough to be torturous with your knowledge of your impending doom. 

Maybe this time you needed to really try. 

For Lorcan. For Fenrys. But mostly, for yourself. 

The door closed behind you and you slipped back into reality, into the new situation you found yourself in. 

“Drink?” You asked over your shoulder, heading right for your kitchen. 

He caught your hand, spinning you back towards him. 

“I had something else in mind,” he said roughly, and dipped his head towards yours. 

You knew he could be patient, he could be gentle, he could be kind, but you got none of that now. 

His hand gripped your jaw, tight enough to keep you still but not harsh enough to hurt, his mouth moved fervently against yours as you matched his pace. It was the collision of a thousand stars, a world breaking and re-forming into something new and beautiful and wonderful. It was everything and more. It was the multiverse coming together into a single moment and screaming yes! this is what you were waiting for. He slowed, softened, as if some kind of guilt caught up with him. You wouldn’t have that. Couldn’t. You gripped the back of his hair and pulled him back closer to you, pressing your body against his. 

He would be yours for the night, but little did he know you‘d already been his for eternity. 

-

You owe him nothing. You owe him nothing. You owe him nothing, Fenrys reminded himself as he walked out of the bar, spotting you teasing Lorcan. He’d finished his business meetings early and thought he might see if you were still haunting your favorite spot at the bar. 

Still, he wanted to rush up to you and ask you if you knew who the hell you were tangling with but ... he supposed he was like Lorcan in that way, one of Maeve’s Blood Sworn, and to have two of them shown publicly taking an interest in you was nothing short of deadly and he refused to subject you to that. So Fenrys left. 

And hated himself for it, but self hatred was nothing new to him. 

Fenrys wasn’t sure how he found Lorcan’s rooms, considering the male probably didn’t want to be found right now. Probably wanted to bask in you. Your beauty, the time he sp-

He stopped himself from thinking of it. Even thought of shifting now, to a body where emotions were simpler and didn’t drain quite so much. Fenrys rarely shifted voluntarily when away from her, not after she kept him in that form so frequently. ‘Where he was easier to deal with,’ she’d said once, and the words still stung as His Majesty, he thought the words mockingly, intended for them to. 

The door swung open. 

Lorcan didn’t speak, just stood there with his arms crossed and jaw clenched. 

Fenrys felt young, and not in a good way. What was he? A jealous lover? Concerned friend? Idiot? 

Then it hit him. 

The scent. 

Yours. 

His. 

Entwined. 

Without him. 

Rage, pure and strong filled him. The scent was particular, and he’d seen it just a few times before. Lorcan, intelligently, had a shield around himself before Fenrys he was on the verge of some kind of burst. 

“Not fucking possible,” Fenrys backed away, “we can’t have the same mate.” 

Lorcan’s eyes widened, but he was looking beyond him. Fenrys whirled around. 

You. 

“I can’t have a mate,” you said quietly, desperately. “I never have before,” then to yourself, “it’s never been like this,” you switched your gaze to the window, he watched you try to angle your face so they couldn’t see the tears in your eyes but they were evident. Everything was evident when it came to you. 

“Get inside,” Lorcan said roughly to both of you. 

He had a point, it wasn't exactly the space for this conversation. A hallway where anyone could be walking by and overhear. That’s the last thing he wanted, anything that might put you in further danger. 

When he didn’t instantly move, Lorcan grabbed his shirt, tugging him inside. There was a knife at Lorcan’s throat before the male could blink. 

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me,” Fenrys hissed, slowly sliding the knife away and sheathing it at his side. 

He was surprised his commander hadn’t caught it, but then again he was staring at a pretty female in the hallway, your gaze still distant and fixed on the window. He called your name, just loud enough to carry across the distance. Your head snapped, you blinked a few times. He tilted his head towards the room. 

An over-exaggerated sigh, probably for their sake more than anything, and then you followed them inside. Each step seemed to make you shrink further into yourself, he noticed, that confidence and bravado fading and leaving someone vulnerable behind. 

It took a strong hand to tamp down on instincts rising, telling him to eliminate any immediate threats to you. The main one being Lorcan, but also any other males and possibly females in the vicinity. It was absolutely ridiculous, the way he was feeling even if he wasn’t acting on it. At least he hadn’t acted on it. Yet. If only because he was well aware it would piss you off. 

-

“What did you mean, ‘it’s never been like this?’” Lorcan asked and you read the skepticism in his eyes. Not quite distrust, but an interesting mix of confusion and concern. That had the potential to change quickly. Could you even speak about it or would you drop dead? You’d always assumed you couldn’t but ... 

“I’m cursed,” you started. They exchanged a brief glance, and for some reason that irritated you, but you kept going. “We’ve met before. Many times,” you knew that would grab and probably keep their attention, at least for a little while. You held a hand up when their brows furrowed in concern, “just hear me out before you write me off as crazy.” 

“I would never write you off,” Fenrys murmured, and you shot him a thankful look but he kept his mouth shut after that. Perhaps it had something to do with the glare on Lorcan’s face. 

The words were difficult. 

Each one felt stilted and awkward, but they watched and listened as if each word you said was pure gold and something about that made you feel powerful. They went through the emotions with you, although it was a tad more difficult to tell with Lorcan, but you struggled together in a way. For some reason, it started to feel like this might turn into a goodbye and you weren’t quite ready for that. After all, you didn’t know how anyone could stay with someone ... someone with the kind of tainted past you have. 

“Why would she do that?” You finished. It a was rare chance to ask two people who probably have more insight than any others into how the mind of the Queen works, not that you believe she’d let anyone truly understand her. 

“Cruelty,” Fenrys said. 

The same time as Lorcan said, “jealousy.” 

“Makes sense,” you huffed, eyes rolling towards the ceiling. It was stupid. 

“How do you end up reincarnated?” Lorcan asked. The question you were hoping to avoid. 

“I die.” 

“Of old age,” Fenrys said, but didn’t sound as if he believed it. 

“No,” you said sharply, exhaling. “You’ll laugh at me.” 

“Try me. Believe it or not, I don’t find your death very funny,” Fenrys said dryly. Lorcan was watching with apt attention, eyes watching you like a hawk. 

“Heartbreak,” you grunted, quickly whirling towards - fuck. You’d meant to look out the window, but saw the mirror instead and the twin faces of horror behind you struck something deep inside of your heart. 

“I -” your throat closed up, the words not quite getting out. 

“What is it?” Fenrys curled his fingers inward, and despite a slight internal cringe you let him beckon you, let him take your hands, let him give you this kind of comfort. 

“I wish you remembered,” you whispered, glancing at Lorcan too, who’s eyes and face told you, yes he knew you were changing the subject, and no the conversation was not over yet. 

-

“I don’t -,” Lorcan Salvaterre stumbled over his words, perhaps for the first time in his life, “I don’t mind making new memories, as long as they’re with you.” 

You beamed. Fenrys laughed. He debated how upset you would be if he killed the other male. 

Other male. 

He knew, already, that he’d have to share you. 

For you, Lorcan could and would make anything work. You were worth everything, absolutely everything. 

Maeve, a voice whispered in his mind. He pushed it down, ignored it for now. That was an ... his Queen would never be an issue, but a situation he could deal with at a later date. 

He swore to himself he’d never make fun of a mated male again. Technically he wasn’t mated yet, but he would be ... soon, he had to be. Being your mate felt like an irrevocably necessary part of his soul, like he might die without it, without having that bond with you to tether him to this world and give him meaning. Meaning he’d been lacking his entire life. 

He didn’t know or care if Fenrys felt the same way but he supposed he should. He had an obligation to his mate’s mate, after all, outside of the fact that Fenrys is his bloodsworn brother. 

Bloodsworn.

His bones and blood chilled. He couldn’t be yours, not really. The realization threatened to bring tears to his eyes, but he couldn’t cry, not here - not in front of you. You needed him strong. 

He stood, abruptly, but didn’t care. He jerked his chin to Fenrys. “We need to talk,” he let his eyes say the rest. 

He found he didn’t like how some of the shine left Fenrys’s, how they dulled at the implication of their Queen’s existence. Too bad, for now. 

“Great. Secrets,” you muttered, and a slight smile threatened his lips, but you still waved them away. Perhaps you understood secrets better than anyone else. 

Lorcan led Fenrys to an adjacent room, and their shields went up at the same time. To keep any nosy females from overhearing. The more she knew, the more danger she was in. At least they were on the same page. 

“Where is safe for her?” Fenrys started. 

At least he had his priorities straight. 

“Antica,” Lorcan answered. Maeve didn’t dare touch the southern continent, yet. “For now,” he added for honesty’s sake. “The curse won’t break until Maeve is ...” He didn’t, couldn’t bring himself to, speak the words out loud, it felt too much like treason. 

“Dead,” Fenrys said for him. He had no problem with it, apparently. If Lorcan had been as insolent as the male in front of him, he would’ve been put to death long ago, and he knew that. Perhaps Fenrys didn’t, but it wasn’t the time for that conversation. “So we spirit her away, and then what? How do we keep her from dying?” 

“A blood promise.” 

“Like what?” Fenrys leaned back against the wall, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. 

“When the curse is broken, we will find her.” 

Antica. Hot, miserable, mate-less Antica. In truth, it wasn’t that miserable, but you'd be enjoying yourself a lot more if your mates hadn’t shipped you off here as quickly as they could. 

All in the name of keeping you ‘safe,’ you grimaced in the mirror, brushing down your hair, now frizzy slightly from the rare rain that breezed in the day before. They're and gone like a phantom, almost. Almost like their presences in your life. 

You could still remember their touches from that last night, firm but gentle, still tentative like new lovers can be. You thought you knew everything about their touch from the past, but even they kept some surprises across multi-verses, or maybe it had just been a while since it had been the three of you and your memory was getting poorer. 

Probably that. 

You pushed the door open, throwing yourself into the throng of people making their way to the one of the several monthly markets in the city. Throng of people, you thought. It was awfully busy. 

‘War,’

‘Sending us-’

‘Saved the princess,’

‘Foreign lord.’ 

The whispers hit your ears one by one like a drum. A war. Against who?

You stopped casually at the closest table, and sure enough the seller was chittering to the person who came before you about it. A war, and the khaganate would be marching for Aelin Galathynius. 

You rolled the name over on your tongue, it being vaguely familiar. Perhaps you should have kept up more with politics throughout the ages, you probably could’ve made a load of money betting, but that felt a tad too immoral, and you did fear the judgement of your own conscience. 

As soon as the intrigue was there, it was gone. You’d heard of several wars over the last two decades, the longest you'd lived so far, and none of them had brought your mates back to you. You seriously doubted this would be the one. 

You refused to acknowledge the ugly truth. They’d probably already forgotten about you. 

-

In the lonely and mindless hours stuck in his Wolf form, Fenrys thought of the beautiful female in Antica, and dreamed of a life without Maeve, however impossible it was he never stopped hoping.

The female screamed on the table in front of him, but he was frozen in time and space. All he could do right now was bear witness to the horrible crime in front of him. Aelin Galathynius deserved someone to bear witness to her pain and her strength. 

The female who should’ve been his Queen, and the female who was his mate had so much in common. Not necessarily appearance, but your attitude and the way you carried themselves. So much that being with her for those months had felt like an even larger blessing. It wasn’t infidelity, not by any means, but perhaps a bit wrong he was using Aelin as a proxy for you. 

The screams in front of him distracted him from his thoughts and dragged him back to the present. She’d passed out, he was waking her with some foul smelling cloth. Each day, he thought he’d reached the limits of what he could bear without closing his eyes, but somehow - because he knew you would do it - he managed to watch. Witness. Wait. It was all he could do now. 

- 

Lorcan Salvaterre knew he was a miserable male to be around, but traveling through Varese had turned him downright sour. At least internally. 

He knew he needed to get to Aelin, and he knew he needed to get to Fenrys. For the bond they shared with each other that they’d never told a soul about. If he didn’t get to him, you’d never ever forgive him. 

He might be too much off a coward to tell you, but he would know in his soul and that’s enough. He’d find Fenrys, get her away from him, do whatever it took. 

-

You woke up one morning with an unusual lightness, a ‘pep’ in your step, so to speak. You’d never understood that phrase until then, when you felt like all of your burdens and issues had been freed in a spare moment, like nothing could weigh you down right then. 

As usual, you got your gossip through the market, and it all made sense. 

Doranelle has a new Queen. 

Queen Maeve was killed in Terrasen. 

You were free. 

You tilted your head up towards the sky, and let the sun shine down on your face, not caring you were stopped in the middle of the park. From the corner of your eye you spotted an older woman copying your movements, not in a mocking way, but in a yes the sun is quite nice today way.

The flip side of your freedom meant your mates would be coming soon. They’d be coming soon. 

To Antica. 

To you. 

You scrambled back to your apartment to start packing. How long did it take to get from Terrasen here?

You paused halfway through throwing your closet onto your bed. 

A letter would’ve arrived by now, but you’d received no such thing. 

That night you fell asleep on top of your clothes. 

The next day you built the courage to put them away. 

You didn’t know where in the world they were now that Maeve is gone, and perhaps with the curse lifting they felt they no longer were obligated to be with you and love you, and maybe -

A familiar scent hit the same time as a knock on your door. 

You rushed to it, throwing it open finding ...

Both of them. Your mouth parted, words not quite leaving your lips. Finally, you managed a lame, “you came.” 

“We promised,” Lorcan said “Can we come in?” 

Yes, they obviously could, you swung the door wider and ushered them inside. 

“We came as soon as we could,” Fenrys promised. 

The silence was awkward for a few moments as the three of you tried to figure out how to navigate this. But, it was easy enough to break as you threw yourself at both of them, managing to catch each of them in a hug at the same time. 

“I forgot to tell you before I left,” you started, muffled in the shirts but knew they heard you. You’d memorized these words long ago. “I spent so long looking for all of the things that would kill me, I forgot the ones that made me feel alive. Both of you made me feel alive. Thank you.” 

[shadowdaddies]

Hello!!! Can I please request a Fenrys x reader fic where they realise they’re mates during the war and all that but reader and Aedion are twins so Gavriel is also obviously her father and just how they deal with the messiness of the situation but also with lots of fluff from all sides? Thank you so much 💚💚💚

I LOVE this request; it took me a minute to figure out how to make it fluffy just because Empire of Storms is so intense but this is such a cool idea; I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it💜

Reunited

Fenrys x Reader (ft. Daddy Gavriel)

Your world flipped upside down when Adarlan conquered Terrasen. Managing to escape with your brother, Aedion, the two of you formed a plan to infiltrate the Kingdom of Adarlan, developing rebel forces for when you were reunited with your cousin, Aelin.

Aedion took over as general of the Bane, filling his ranks with those who sympathized with your cause, while you worked your way up in the palace as a servant. Your duties, ranging from cleaning rooms to becoming a handmaid to the Queen, provided great intel for Aedion that allowed the Bane to stage battles. 

When Aelin returned, you aided in her rescue of Aedion, joining her and Rowan on their journey to Skull’s Bay from that point. 

It was in Rolfe’s office when your world turned upside down. You stood alongside Rowan as Aelin pitched her deal to Rolfe to join forces against Erawan. And then the door opened, revealing two males who made your heartbeat stutter for different reasons. 

You recognized your father immediately, and he you, when your tawny eyes locked with his. He stumbled forward, a gasp leaving his lips as you stared at each other. Rowan stepped protectively in front of you, one hand on your wrist as he stared down the famous Lion, the legendary member of Maeve’s cadre, Gavriel.

“Please, let me see her,” Gavriel pleaded with Rowan, his gaze struggling to meet yours around Rowan’s hulking form. 

“Rowan, it’s fine,” you whispered. You hadn’t held the same animosity towards your father as your brother, Aedion had, as you always believed he had a reason for leaving you. This was your opportunity to learn it.

Rowan turned to you, his gaze softening at the hope in your eyes. “He is blood-sworn to Maeve. He can only deny her will to an extent, and I will not let him hurt you.”

Your eyes flicked to the other male in the room, losing your balance as you stumbled backward at the look in his eyes. Fenrys watched you, awe etched on his face as he, too, moved towards you.

Rowan growled, Aelin leaping up from Rolfe’s seat where she lounged as they moved in front of you in a protective stance.

“It’s okay,” Fenrys promised, his gaze never leaving yours. “She’s my mate.” Tears formed at your eyes, the instant connection you felt towards the striking male in front of you breaking your guard down.

“Please, Row,” you tugged against his grip, desperate to meet the two males you were sure would be the most important in your life.

Rowan looked down at you, pure fae instinct in his eyes as he turned to the members of his cadre, every bit the legendary warrior as which he was known. “What are your orders from Maeve?” he demanded.

Gavriel spoke first, his voice like something from a long-lost dream, a memory from a past life that you longed for. “We were ordered to find Lorcan and kill him. If you can help us fail in finding him, we can assist you for as long as possible. Please, Rowan, Aelin, let me meet her.”

After a long, tense moment, Rowan and Aelin nodded to each other, parting ways as you now saw clearly the two males ahead of you. Your father moved towards you first, his dark tattoos in contrast to his golden hair the first thing you noticed as you rushed towards each other. He was warm, broad, muscular arms pulling you into his lithe form as you wrapped your own around him. This is home, you thought, holding back the tears as you allowed yourself to simply feel. 

Gavriel didn’t move, waiting until you reluctantly pulled away enough to look up at him. “I have so much to explain to you. So much that I wish I could take back...”

You shook your head, a small smile gracing your lips to silence him. “We will get to all of that - later. For now, I just want to know you,” you whispered, leaning up to press a kiss to your father’s cheek before turning your gaze to the male in the corner.

Breathing was difficult as you took in the extraordinary beauty of him. Blonde curls fell around bewildered, onyx eyes that locked in on you. The world spun around the two of you as his gaze held you in place. “My mate,” you whispered, moving towards him slowly, as though your feet moved of their own accord, your body drawn towards him.

Fenrys simply nodded, swallowing as his chest moved with each deep breath. A chuckle from where Rowan and Aelin stood drew the two of you from your trance, and you turned to see the amusement written on Rowan’s face. “Fen, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you so stricken,” he teased.

You turned, enjoying the blush on the handsome male’s face. Biting your lip, you dared to bring a hand to the golden-brown skin of his cheek. With a slight giggle, you joked, “it’s nice to meet you, Fenrys.” He nodded, transfixed on you.

Gavriel cleared his throat, clearly refraining from his fatherly protective instincts as he leaned backwards slightly. “I’ve never... scented a mating bond quite so strong,” he noted, lip slightly curling as his glance flicked to Rowan and Aelin. They nodded in agreement, smiling encouragingly at you as they held their hands up, covering the scent from their noses.

“A strong bond, indeed,” Fenrys spoke softly, stepping forwards towards you as his fingertip grazed your jawline. A slight shift in movement from your father drew you out of the moment, stepping back as you giggled nervously at your newfound family, and mate.

Rolfe rolled his eyes, shooing the group of you out the door as Aelin sent him a wink. “Let’s go figure this out elsewhere,” Rowan grumbled, guiding you outside. The group settled at a pub downstairs, where you sat in between Gavriel and Fenrys, a deep peace settling through you as you enjoyed the presence of two males who cared about you more than you’d ever dreamed.

[mira-s-bookclub]

MASTERLIST

ACOTAR

Azriel

Beneath a Veil of Shadows

Y/n knows very well how Azriel feels for her; detest. What happens when Rhysand sends Y/n alongside Azriel on what was supposed to be a "normal" check?

^ Beneath a Veil of Shadows Part 2

^ Beneath a Veil of Shadows Part 3

^ Beneath a Veil of Shadows Part 4

Past Time Nightmares

Being mates means sharing a lot, including trauma.

Throne of Glass

Fenrys

Revelations at Court

'Rowan and Lorcan shared females', was what Aelin had told Y/n, but what if they shared -even after the female had gone?

OCs

-Coming Soon-

. . . . . ╰──╮ ╭──╯ . . . . .

To be added to the Taglists, comment:

All ACOTAR - 🌹

All Azriel - 🥀

All TOG - 🌼

[fanwarriorfictions]

Help Me, Help You - Part Six Sneak Peak

Series Masterlist

Her eyes shuttered, he wasn’t sure if it was from his words, or his touch.

Tag List

@emma-andrea1 , @mgchaser , @anxious-study , @lees-chaotic-brain , @girl-math-aint-mathing , @mali22 , @nikt-wazny-y , @theworthlessqueen , @cynthiesjmxazrielslover , @lethargicluv

[erisvansserra]

Follow You Fenrys x Reader x Azriel

Summery: 30 years ago, Y/N fell through a portal and woke up in Prythian naked an afraid. She counted herself lucky that she was found by the shadowsinger and his high lord, who took her in and gave her a home. Despite their hospitality she dreamed of her home and the mate she left behind, Fenrys, who searched for her until one day.. he finds her.

AN:- GUYS this fanfic has legit been keeping me up at night so I thought I would share it with you all hahaha!!.

The light of the morning sun edged its head between the crack in the curtains, Azriel knew you were still asleep in the bed you shared, still snuggled between the sheets. He cursed himself for not coming through the door and choosing to fly straight to the balcony after work, spy work. Slowly he pushed the door open and poked his head inside. Relieved to see he hadn't wakened you up, he walked inside, spreading his wings to block out the rising sun from your face. Closing the door he walked over to his side of the bed, sat down and started kicking off his boots when he heard you stir behind him. "You're home late" You groan as he tips his head over his shoulder to look at you "Did something happen?" you continue and shuffle along the bed to make some room. "No, just had some reports to write up" Azriel answered as he slid into bed and wrapped you in his arms. Smiling softly, you nuzzled into his chest, still cold from riding on the wind to get home. You hummed sleepily and allowed yourself to fall back into that familiar comfort he offered you and began to dream.

30 Years Earlier Terrasen, your home as wild and free as your queen, Aelin. You sat at the dining table with Lysandra and Aedion as they spoke softly to their adoptive daughter. You hummed to yourself as you worked on the jewelry in your hand, slowly needling little diamonds onto it. You were so deep in concentration you didn't notice your mate's approach until his large hands landed on your shoulders, jolting you slightly. "Fen!" you yelp turning in your seat to look back at the golden male. Fenry's smiled down to you, his large canines making his smile look a little more sinister than he attended. "Did I scare you?" he chuckled, sliding into the seat next to you after placing a small kiss to the top of your head. "No" you lie and continue working on the necklace you're working on for Lysandra. You felt him move closer to you, his nose buried in your hair as he inhaled your sent "why don't we go for a swim? get your mind off this" he purred, his hand coming up to cover the necklace in your hand. You felt the want for him almost immediately, the hot pool in the pits of your stomach started to raise its head at his tone of voice. "There is a child present" Aedion snapped from the other side of the table, drawing both sets of eyes to him. Both you and your mate chuckled and decided to leave the room, together.

Fenrys was your typical fae male mate, he never left your side unless he needed to, he was territorial and protective... but what you loved most about him was he was fun. His golden hair was tied back in a bun, showing off his high cheekbones and sharp jaw line that made him look delicious. His onyx eyes slid to yours as a small smirk rose on his lips " like what you see?" he asked as he wrapped a toned, golden arm around your waist. "Always" you answer matching his smirk with your own. Your answer made his smile grow into his normal shit-eating grin, you roll your eyes playfully and rest your head on his shoulder as you continue making your way outside. The warm air kissed your skin as you opened the door to the courtyard, it was a beautiful day.

You and Fenrys skinny dipped in the lake not far from the keep, splashing each other playfully while swimming around in the cool water. What neither mate realized was this was the last day they were going to spend together, the last happy memory they would share before you were stripped from his arms in the middle of the night.

And dumped in Prythian.

Present Day

Mate, mate, mate, mate.

You miss your mate. As the dream rattles you awake you realise that Az is still asleep next to you, guilt hits you so fast you run out of the room and into the bathroom to throw up. As you retch into the toilet bowl you hear Az approach the bathroom and knock softly from the other side of the door. "Another dream?" he asks as he enters the room and crouches beside you to rub soothing circles on your back. "My mate" you answer as you peer at him between strands of fallen hair. He nods slowly, understanding the pain you feel and tucks some strands behind your ear. "Did you dream of falling again?" he asks, his voice as soft and gentle as silk. You nod once in response as your gut twists again threatening to spill more into the toilet bowl. Azriel was the most understanding person you had ever met, you weren't always with him, you were friends first. He was the one to find you that day, laying cold and naked on the forest floor. He took you to Rhysand, where he looked into your mind and saw everything, your home, your family.. Fenrys. It had taken some time for both sides to trust you, but in those years that Rhys was under the mountain you had grown close with the inner circle. Particularly Az. He knew your past, knew of the mate that you had been ripped away from... but he loved you all the same and was willing to give you the time you needed.

So here you both sat in front of the toilet bowl for the thousandth time in your relationship. Him giving you soft soothing words while you mourned the loss of your mate and your life. After some time, he scooped you into his arms and placed you back into bed. ......................

Later that day you sat in the living room with Feyre and Nyx, laughing as you watched the young lad learn to walk but failing. A warm cup of tea sat in your hands, the heat slightly burning the sensitive flesh of your palm, but you ignored it. Azriel had been called on by Cassian, something about a disturbance near the Illyrian camps they had to check out. He placed a warm kiss on your cheek before he flew off with his brother. "Any improvement?" Nesta asked as she walked into the room and plopped onto the couch next to you. "Hardly" Feyre answered as she took the babe back into her arms and planted kisses all over his face, making nyx scream in laughter. You and Nesta smiled as Nyx's fits of giggles filled the room, you looked to Nesta and offered her the cup in your hands. "its still warm" you prod as you hand the tea to her, she sips it then hands it back to you.

You and Nesta were best friends, she was a huge bitch to you at the start but recently... she's been the only person besides Az that understands your pain, your longing for home. She's also the only person in this whole house that reads dirty smut books with you.

"Bleh, I hate peppermint tea" she croons as she pulls a face, looking at the cup in your hands. "But its good for you" you jest and give her a sweet smile, bringing the tea back to your own lips. You and Nesta spend the rest of the afternoon talking and watching her nephew rise and fall. Feyre is about to out Nyx down for a nap when Rhysands voice fills your head.

"Come to the forest at once"

You and Feyre share a look, obviously she had been given orders to winnow you there. She quickly explains this all to Nesta then plops her son into her sisters hands, you hadn't had time to say anything to Nesta before Feyre grabbed you and winnowed away to the forest. Snow crunched under your feet as you landed behind the three warriors. Cassian, Az and Rhysand all had their weapons out and their backs turned to you. The wind hit your body so hard it almost knocked you backwards, the smell of pine and snow filling your senses as you tried to blink away the stinging in your eyes. "I don't want to fight you" came a rough voice that didn't belong to the three males in front of you, but did belong to someone you knew. Rowan, your oldest cousin and longest friend. Stalking forward you pushed through the three males that shielded you, you could have fell to your knees as Rowan's eyes met your own. A hand flew in front of you protectively, but you knocked it away as you ran to him, calling his name over and over. "y/n!" Rowan shouted, dropping his sword so he could wrap you in his arms. "How? How?" You asked as you buried your face into your cousin's neck, your body shaking as he held you against him. "Aelin, she worked it out" he explained as he pulled you away from him, his eyes darting from one side of your face to another taking in everything you were and everything you are. The Night Court stood behind you in complete shock, their faces blank as they watched the scene unfold in front of them. Azriel felt the pull to go and comfort you but held strong, not knowing this male and how he would react. Then a crunch of twigs caught their attention, a small blonde female emerged from the forest surrounding them, a small ball of fire danced in her palm as she walked towards you and rowan. You looked to Aelin for the first time in 30 years, she looked slightly older but unchanged from the Aelin in your memories. You didn't even shout her name, as she approached you fell to your knees and placed your head on the snow below you. "Aelin, forgive me" you pleaded to her, to your queen "I tried to come home but-" you continued but your words hitched in your throat as you felt her body call over yours. "Don't apologies you idiot" she said against your skin, slowly you raised and hugged her back while rowan stared down the night court still behind you. "Should we introduce ourselves?" Cassian mumbled to no one in particular catching your attention. You take Aelin's hand and help her stand; you walk her and your cousin over to your friends and make introductions. "This is your cousin?" Cassian asked, nodding his head to Rowan as he stood with Aelin, a protective arm wrapped around her waist as he held her close. You nodded in response and looked up to the white hair male, his green eyes still darted between each person in front of him. " He is a bit of a brute" you say as you turn your attention back to the night court, earning a small smile from Feyre and a chuckle from Az. It hit you then, Azriel was here and had watched you reunite with your family, your court. You took a few steps toward him, but he held up his hand stopping you from coming any closer, confused, you nodded and stood still. Rhysand invited Aelin and Rowan to stay in the townhouse while the night court discussed their next move, they obliged and allowed Rhy's to winnow them away. "You must be happy" Feyre said coming to your side and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "I am" you said smiling back to her " I could go home" you continue softly. Feyre looks over her shoulder to Az who stares emotionless into the distance, she sighs and then turns her head forward again and whispers "he will miss you". You feel that guilt from earlier pang around in your chest again, you don't dare to look back at the shadowsinger, you and he both knew that your time together had just come to an end. " I will miss him too" you confess as Rhys winnows back to the forest.

"Come on, I will take you to be alone with them" Rhy's says and extends a tanned hand to you, smiling you leave Feyre's embrace and fit your hand in his. Not looking back as he takes you to the family you have dreamed of every night for the last 30 years.

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.1 (Azriel x reader, eventual Fenrys x reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terassen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

A/n: hey everyone! so this is my first work on here and I just hope you will enjoy it. Please do not hesitate to comment whether you like it/want more of it or if you have some good constructive criticism to give! I will give some clarifications at the end of this chapter as to not give away any spoilers beforehand:)

Being a female Illyrian with wings was never meant to be easy. Growing up and not knowing your parents was perhaps the greatest pain a child could endure. Especially if that child grows up in a cruel place like the Illyrian camps. For the first 20 years of her life, y/n knew nothing but pain, mistreatment and hatred as she spent her youth at the cruel hands of an old Illyrian bastard. Of course, what y/n went through was never kept as a secret but it is not like anyone cared anyway. This was Illyria, the mistreatment of females was not a surprise. In fact, the vile monsters who called themselves warriors, encouraged it.

And just like any other female unlucky enough to be born in Illyria and have wings, y/n had to get her wings clipped. Even after all those years, that moment that changed everything for y/n is still so vivid in her mind...

The leaves in the forest crunched as his boots kept stepping on them while dragging her through the maze of trees.

"Please, please I beg you do not take my wings!"

He kept on ignoring her. She called him a 'He' because y/n would never willingly say his disgusting name. Not when he was the cause of all her trauma and illnesses. She kept thrashing, begging and trying to get away but it was useless.

"I beg yo-"

Her words were cut short as a slap was delivered to her face.

"Shut you mouth! you useless bitch"

She never begged. No, y/n was strong, even then, at her weakest she was strong. She never begged. Not when he would burn her hands, not when he would whip her back, not when he would beat her up because she forgot to do a chore. But now she begged. She begged for her only form of freedom, her precious wings. At that moment y/n knew what had to be done. This was the last straw.

"Stay like that on your knees and do NOT move, or else you won't like the consequences."

As he turned around to search for his tools, y/n sat there on the ground in the middle of this dark forest just outside the outskirts of the village and knew she could not go down like those before her. For 20 years she submitted to his every will but not now, not again. Weak coward is what she has been and now it was time to change that.

When he turned around, y/n was holding her only form of protection, her pocket knife that she would always hide under her clothes. When he was close enough, y/n gave a final prayer to the mother and attacked him with a sloppy move that would result in either her freedom or death.

"It is time to truly make you bound to me you bi-"

He did not get to finish his words as the knife he did not see in the dark, found its mark in his throat. Crimson red blood was everywhere as that monster choked on his own blood like a damn fool and finally, slumped to the ground.

The rest? Well, the rest became history as y/n left that night with his blood still soaking her own clothes and body and his fresh corpse laying on the ground. She would never let anyone ever dictate her life again. Never would she be weak again. And so, for the next 80 years of her life, y/n went from one place to another and taught herself how to fight and be like a warrior. Her name began spreading around like wildfire, as people started talking of the Illyrian female who not only managed to keep her wings but also killed her abuser.

She helped hundreds, by recruiting victims of different horrible events and teaching them how to fight and protect themselves. Y/n became a legend especially in the eyes of female Illyrians who tried to follow her lead. This was also the reason why y/n one day opened her door to see the High Lord of the Night Court waiting for her. The smile on Rhysands face was blinding as he praised y/n while also telling her about how it was a dream of his to get rid of the old Illyrian traditions and rules set against the females. It was on that eventful day that the High Lord also offered y/n to join his court and make a very impactful visit to Illyria after all these years to help him make those changes.

At the time, it was a huge step for y/n as she delegated her role as a trainer to her first-best student who was more than honored to continue y/n's job in the training academy. When she came to Velaris she was in awe of its beauty and comfort. The inner circle welcomed her with open arms and although y/n was a little distant at first, she soon got along well with everyone and especially Cassian as they trained daily together. It was also the time when the first seeds of her crush on Azriel were planted.

Therefore, by the age of 100, y/n was an official member of the night court, a legendary figure who started to make her changes during her visits to the Illyrian camps. This time, she went in not as a weakling, but as a feared and well-respected fighter, female and most of all, Illyrian. But even with all of the fierce titles that she got, y/n still felt like turning into a small, shy and meek girl whenever Azriel was around. Rhysand sending them together on constant missions did nothing to ease her increasing infatuations with the famed shadowsinger either.

Unfortunately, they got closer during the darkest of times when Rhysand sacrificed himself to protect his court and city from Amarantha. It was then that, Azriel and y/n shared their deepest, most raw and intimate moments with one another while also doing their best to protect the city in which they were locked in thanks to Rhysands wards. Those moments were what led y/n to confess her true feelings to the spymaster during the 4th year of what would be Amarantha's 50 year reign of terror. After that day, they truly became lovers in all aspects that mattered. Even though that unmistakable bond of a mate did not appear, y/n knew it was only a matter of time before they both felt it. There was no other way.

Today, sitting here on her lovers chair in his office, y/n felt proud of herself and her loved ones for overcoming so much. Rhysand and Feyre under the mountain, the war against Hybern, Nesta and Elain becoming high fae, and the attack on Velaris all left many scars both visible and invisible on everyone. Knowing that everyone has finally found some form of happiness and that her lover is safe with her should have made y/n happy, excited even. But as of late, she could not bring herself to feel anything because Azriel was not the male she once knew.

For a very long time now, the shadowsinger has been distancing himself from y/n in favor of spending more time with a specific redheaded priestess, Gwyneth. What was once called the hour of reading by y/n and Az in the comfort of their home, turned into reading with Az and Gwyn in the library. Even during training, Gwyn would respectfully decline y/n or anyone elses offers to train her and would instead ask Azriel to teach her. He would always happily oblige, leaving y/n alone as Cassian trained with Nesta. At first, y/n tried to understand and reason by thinking that since Azriel was the one to save the priestess from facing a terrible fate in the library of Sangravah, it was only fair that she felt safe around him. However, the other priestesses were also saved by Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand and yet, y/n never saw them be as clingy as Gwyn was towards Azriel.

The final nail in the coffin came when Azriel started coming home late and locking himself up in his office and leaving early in the morning. This meant that y/n never saw her lover, let alone kissed or made love to him. That is how it led to her finally coming to his office to wait for him and get some answers to her questions.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?"

That slightly nervous voice drew her back into reality as y/n looked back from the window showing the beautiful city, to see Azriel standing in the doorway with dishelved hair and a sort of scared look in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to not show it, y/n knew him like the back of her hand. Being together for 52 years does that to you. This was not a good sign then, for Azriel never showed such a shameful expression and his shadows were nowhere in sight.

As y/n got up from the chair and started walking towards him, her mind and soul clinged onto that last thread of hope that the male whom she loved was not unfaithful to her, that he would explain everything and she would see that she was making silly little assumptions out of nothing.

Unfortunately, all that hope came crashing down as y/n got close enough to him and smelled that scent of another female, that scent that belonged to...Gwyn. And if the small dark marks that were peeking above the spymasters shirt were any indicator, they did more than just read together.

Y/n felt like she was drowning, like a huge mountain just crashed down on her and she was left under all that rubble to suffocate and die. She was frozen in her spot, unfeeling and unmoving as she felt her body shut down completely. Clearly, this only meant that she would shatter soon enough but not here, not in front of him. Never would she ever be weak infront of any male. And so, with a voice that conveyed no emotion, she asked, "How long?"

"Y/n ple-"

"How long, Azriel."

Azriel sighed as he looked anywhere but at her when he said, "Since the first time Nesta brought her to train with us."

"But that was 2 years ago."

After seeing him nod very slightly, she reigned in her tears that were burning the backs of her eyes, and asked one simple question,

"Why?"

Now it was the shadowsingers turn to look as emotionless as he could while saying, "Because she is my mate y/n."

Mate, mate, mate ofcourse he would have a mate, no matter how many years they were together, neither of them ever felt that bond snap. Foolish, so foolish to think, to hope that they were destined to be, that their bond would snap any moment. But how cruel can one be to hide the truth for 2 years, To go behind her back, even if Gwyn is his mate, and be unfaithful? To not admit the truth as if y/n wouldn't understand. And Gwyn? how could she never once mention it to y/n during all those moments spent together? How, how how..

As if that pain was not enough, Azriel confessed, "I am sorry y/n but truly, did you think we were fated to be? I always knew what we had was temporary, that we were never going to have a happy end as the cauldron would give us both our own mates. My love for you has always only been platonic...have you not noticed that I never once said 'I love you'? I saw you as a friend, a companion in whom I could loose myself for a while as I waited for my mate to come. Truly, you were good, so good to me, kind and caring and yet, so foolish. You imagined and expected too much of us y/n...for you I was a male whom you desperately loved but for me, you were simply someone who I could spend my time with until my mate arrived. I love Gwyn, I have taken her to the house of wind multiple times and made love to her there, I have spent my time understanding and creating as many memories as possible with her. From the moment I saw her 2 years ago when Nesta brought her, I felt this pull towards her and now...now I could never get enough. I do not say this to hurt you, but to make you see the truths that we were never what you wanted us to be."

Y/n took a deep inhale, the only indicator of her emotions at the moment while still processing his words and asked her final question while still staring at the wall behind him, "Who knew?"

Azriel was confused for a minute because after all that he had just confessed, she only asked that? Not to mention how much it was killing him to not understand her current emotions and expressions as y/n stayed completely unflinching, staring at the wall and expecting an answer from him. So, with a shameful sigh, the spymaster replied, "Everyone knew."

At that moment, y/n knew 2 things with clarity. First, never should you trust someone, no matter how close you are with them. Never should you give your heart to someone because in the end, they shall shatter it anyway. In this life, you are always on your own. Y/n has always been alone even after joining Rhys, y/n walked her own lonely road. Second, her "family" were traitorous liars. For the past 2 years as y/n descended back into her depressive moments, as she got flashbacks of those horrible times from her youth spent in the Illyrian village, as her panic attacks and insecurities started to resurface, the inner circle did nothing to pull her out of it. But what else would you expect from them? of course they would protect Azriel and his actions, no matter how disgusti-

"Y/n? please talk to me, I am going mad here with your lack of words and emotions. Please sweetheart." as Azriel's hand made contact with y/n's wrist, it was as if an electric shock brought her back to life.

Y/n slapped him right across the face as she said her next words in a tone so cruel and unfeeling, her enemies did not even hear that tone before meeting their death's at her hands, "If you touch me again, my knife shall find it's mark between your eyes, so unless you do not want to leave your precious mate a widow so soon, I suggest you get the fuck out of my sight, shadowsinger."

"Y/n ple-"

"Oh and, since you are such a loyal dog to him, do tell your rotten high lord that I am leaving his rotten court. I shall be gone by sunrise."

As she turned to leave his office throught he backdoor, Azriel did something that Y/n had never known him capable of doing. He fell on his knees as tears threatened to spill from his eyes and begged in a voice so shaky, y/n could only think whether he was even real.

"Y/n I beg you, let us talk properly, Gwyn kept telling me how I must let you know. That she hates being a secret but I was such a coward I-I..plea-"

"I do not care what Gwyn has to say. Save your tears and pleas for someone who cares Azriel, you are right, you are a coward and perhaps you always were one for playing with my feelings in such a cruel way. Do not come after me or I swear I won't hesitate to end you with my bare hands."

With that, y/n turned her back on the male for whom she would once move the mountains for, for whom she would sacrifice herself for. The male whom she loved so much and yet, this whole time he toyed with her, he saw her as a placeholder. What a blind fool have you been y/n.

The second y/n made sure that Azriel left the house, she broke down in tears. For the first time in a very long time, y/n cried unstoppable tears. But that moment came to an abrupt end as she heard a voice. Whether it was within her mind or from somewhere else she did not know and did not care because even though the voice sounded so far away, she got this immediate urge within her soul to go find it.

Deep down, y/n knew she should let it be, that she is possibly imagining things and that she should start packing now but that urge within her tightened as if wanting her to go find the source of the voice. So, with a final wipe of her tears, y/n stood and leapt through her window, spreading her wings and following that string to reach the distant voice.

As y/n began nearing the source of the sound, she realized that it is coming from the house of wind. She should have turned around and left at that second because seeing this house now only brought back Azriels words about how he spent his time here with Gwyn. Atleast that is what the y/n who was not possesed by an urge would do. But alas, this thread only grew stronger within her, leaving her no other choice.

As she began walking down the halls of the house, y/n looked back on all her memories with the inner circle here. Once, those memories would have made her smile fondly but now, they only make her feel anger and disgust. They knew this whole time...such liars, such tra-

No...this could not be it. The urge within her must have been playing a foolish trick because no way was the voice coming from this room. But that urge within her had died down as if finally only the double doors in front of y/n were stopping her from getting to the voice. But this room wasn't just any room. It was the warded room containing all 3 objects of the Trove AND the Book of Breathings.

From here, she could clearly hear the ugly, hissing voice of the book saying, "Welcome, The Terror."

"Why are you hesitating? Open the door child, open it."

As if on cue, the wards around the room disappeared and the doors opened for her. Y/n could only be confused for a second before an unknown power forced her to walk into the area. And there it was, that book sitting on the circular table in the middle of the room, beckoning for her to come closer.

"The Iron Phoenix, you finally came to learn your destiny."

Y/n scoffed as she looked at the silly book from a distance and said, "Did you truly waste my time by making me come to you so that you could spit your nonsense at me? I have enough to deal with already, I do not need another headache from you."

As she turned around to leave, the book hissed loudly, "Do not mock me you fool, I know your deepest secret Winged Fury, a secret so precious not even your once beloved lover knows."

At that, y/n turned around with a shocked expression all over her face and asked, "How? How do you know of it?"

"You can not know more than me, Valkyrie, I am the one who knows it all."

It seems today was the day when y/n had to find out just how little she knows about everything. She had enough, and this stupid book will be the unfortunate one to be the outlet of her emotions. Furious, she took quick strides to reach it as she began, "How dare you?! you call me here to spit nothing of value at me while I just went through the wo-"

A sudden wave of power hit her as y/n felt like she was stuck in one place right in front of the book. Her walls, her mental walls they...they were being melted down as she felt her mind fall into some hypnotic spells.

With a voice so beautiful and eerily soothing, the book says, "Open me, open me Braveheart and see your true destiny."

Somewhere, the last sane part of her was telling y/n that this was wrong, that whatever will happen once she opens the book won't be good. Unfortunately, y/n seemed unable to follow that voice as her fingers made contact with the cover of the ancient book and flipped it open.

The book started flipping its own pages until it landed on the one with language so old, y/n knew that it was not remembered within the past history. Her mouth began moving against her will as she began saying the words on the book in such an experienced manner, it felt as if the ancient object had posessed her.

At some point, y/n could hear distant voices...was that Rhys? Az? Cas? or no, no maybe that is Nesta or another female who is screaming? Y/n could not move, could not think, as if her sole purpose was to finish the spell. She could distantly feel her body loosing its physicality. Was she disappearing? Was she becoming a ghost?

As she was saying the final words of the book, y/n turned around to find everyone from the inner circle in the room trying to get closer to her. Despair was all over their faces but it was Azriels tear striken face that y/n saw for the last time before darkness welcomed her.

"You are home now, Stormbreaker, you are home."

"Now, you shall unfold your true destiny."

With a jolt, y/n shot her eyes open and got up from...was this a grassy hill? as she turned to look behind her, there was a small lake with a white...is that a deer? What is this place? Where was she?

But y/n did not get to explore anything else as she felt the cool edge of a knife press into her throat from behind as a male voice said to her, "You move, you die."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Damn this was fun to write! What secret does y/n have? I did leave a very tiny clue on that for anyone who might find it;) Anyway, I know most of you were maybe expecting Az to cheat with Elain but i am a Gwynriel shipper through and through and just could not think of Elain being such a homwrecker. Of course I am pretty sure Gwyn isn't one either butttt just for the sake of plot ya know. This won't be the last time we see the acotar characters as they will appear hopefully in the later chapters. But for now, sit back and watch y/n's new journey in this new world.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Send out an army to find you

request: can i please request a lorcan x reader where maeve kidnaps reader who is pregnant. She wants lorcans child because he left her service snd she wants someone sith his powers so she tries to keep reader until she gives birth but she is saved by him.

warnings: blood, implications of death, capture, pregnancy. The good stuff.

In other words your girl got carried away....

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Lorcan felt as if the ground had cracked beneath his feet. He fell as if he was freefalling as if he knew that the only fate that awaited him was painful death. He sensed the panic through the bond while he and the rest of the cadre had been training in the woods. The sheer amount of it had made Lorcan's knees buckle. And then he ran. He ran like he had never run before. Body moving on its own, fully trusting his instincts. He didn't care that the house might be crawling with whatever creatures had managed to get inside. The sight of the door barely hanging on its hinges was enough to make bile rise in his throat, yet he strode inside.

"Y/N", he called, going from room to room. There was broken glass everywhere, the chairs in the dining room were broken to pieces, and the utensil drawer was open. All Lorcan could smell was panic. Pain. Fear. His heart was beating so fast, he could feel it all over his body. "Y/N", he shrieked once more. He smelled you still. And that could mean two things: either he was just a heartbeat too late, or you were still here. He prayed for the second. But when Lorcan darted upstairs to see handprints of blood all over the nursery, everything around him froze for a second. The worst fears dance freely in his mind. He didn't even realize when he had started roaring. Or when all of the darkness possessed by him manifested. Drowning out all the light, making all the greenery wilt.

Lorcan felt firm hands holding onto him, trying to pick up the mess. "Let go of me", the male roared. But that wish wasn't granted to him as other sets of hands gripped his face. "I'm going to kill...", Lorcan stated. "Who will you kill? Who, Lorcan?", it was Gavriel who stood right in front of him. Paler than before. Worry laced his features as well. "You need to think", Fenrys added from the side of him, making Lorcan grit his teeth as he spat, "I'm thinking! She's gone, she's...and the baby, that's...", Lorcan felt another wave of panic rush through him. Fear when he realized that he couldn't hold onto the bond that connected you both.

"Breathe", it was Rowan, whose cold wind twirled around Lorcan now, the male trashed in the grip of his friends. "No, you don't...", Lorcan's voice broke. "Breath, Lorcan", Rowan said softly again. Lorcan knew that Rowan, of all the males, knew how painful this felt. He had lost his pregnant partner. They had all watched him fight the demons that clouded his will to live after that. Lorcan sank to his knees, ripping at his chest in hopes of feeling at least any sense of warmth from your side.

The cadre had never seen Lorcan like this. Sure, you had cracked the deepest parts of the male. You had made his presence a lot more bearable. Maker, he smiled even. Smiled from his heart during the family dinner. His prickly side was pushed aside almost fully. Saved only for scaring people away and inflicting panic on the enemy. You were his everything, and to miss that would have been impossible. Rowan clasped Lorcan's shoulders. Yet no one dared to say a single word about what this could truly mean.

You slowly drifted back to consciousness. Frowning slightly once the unfamiliar surroundings began to emerge. Your hand immediately went to your bump as you looked around the stone cell. The sound of the metal shackles made you look down; your hands and ankles were chained. You instantly tried to pull on your mating bond. To call for Lorcan... But a pained cry left your mouth as you found it lifeless. No, you thought to yourself, they wouldn't have managed to kill Lorcan.

"Oh, how lovely to see you awake", the voice dripped venom, and your wild eyes looked at the queen you hoped you'd never have to see again. "What did you do?", You moved to sit up slowly. "I just wanted to see you. You have someone I want", the way she whispered made your body shiver. "What did you do to Lorcan, Maeve", you hissed, hands wrapped around your bump. The motherly instinct was on high alert. The queen smirked, "He used to be my best. You do know what an attentive lover in bed Lorcan was to me". You shook your head. You knew how she treated them all. How she played with them. She twisted her powers to make puppets out of them. Lorcan had never loved her. He had never cared for her.

"It was so hard for me to do this to him", Maeve purred. The panic swirled within you. She wouldn't; you told yourself, she wouldn't have. "I'll make sure the wound of losing him will heal", her voice pierced right through you. "No," you breathed out, "He's not dead. You're lying, bitch". The sympathetic look on her face made you sick. "No, what did you do? What did you do?", you launched forward, chains ringing as you pulled at them. "Now, now... You can't be doing all that. You're pregnant", the queen stepped forward. Her cold hand moved to touch the round swell forming. You tried to move your hands so you could claw at her face, but her magic kept you at bay. "The babe growing within you is like no other, dear", she said, slowly sweeping your tangled hair away from your face. Silent tears that rolled down your cheeks were the only indication of your real emotions that bubbled within. "I'll raise a one-of-a-kind worrier out of that, babe", her nails dug into your face, "You took Lorcan away from me; now your debts will be paid." You tried to scream, but she seized your consciousness, sending you into the dark, oblivious.

Every moment that passed was a moment too long for Lorcan. A heartbeat was wasted. He still didn't know if you were alive. He hoped for it. You had to. Rowan had explained the power that Maeve had when it came to twisting bonds between mates. Maeve. To think that his beautiful, sweet, pregnant wife was in the hands of that sadist. Lorcan knew that you could stand your ground, but he knew that Maeve would not hold back.

He let Gavriel and Rowan plot the plan. His brain was everywhere at the moment. Lorcan clutched the baby blanket you had knitted in his hand. He had been holding onto it for the past two weeks. Only managing to slip into restless sleep if the scent of you was close. "Do you agree, Lorcan?", Gavriel's voice made Lorcan stiffen. But the lion knew that he wasn't listening. "Let us handle Maeve. I know that you want to kill her", Gavriel's voice was calm, but Lorcan let out a bitter laugh, "Want? Want doesn't even come close to it". The lion nodded. "I know, we know, but it's best if you find Y/N in the castle and get the hell away from it". As sweet as revenge tasted, Lorcan knew that this plan was the only one. Because even he didn't trust himself to not get carried away.

You had no way to tell how many days had passed. You had tried to refuse all food and water, but your baby needed it. And as much as you had no will to carry on, the little kicks and squirms within you were the only things making you feel anything other than the void that painted your chest black. You were curled into a ball at the furthest corner of the cell. Holding onto your bump as you hummed slightly.

You hoped the rest of the family would come looking for you. You hoped that this void was just one of many twisted things that Maeve loved. But at this moment, you knew that it was only you. Only you could protect your unborn child from that sadist. She had told you all about it. How the baby would be hers. How she would take it under her wing and raise it as if it was her baby. You gritted your teeth.

The cell door cracked open. You stilled, gripping the metal plate you had filed against the stones, turning it into a somewhat makeshift weapon. You doubted it would be enough to kill her. But you were prepared to try anything by now. You counted the steps, bracing yourself for the blow.

Your hit, however, was met by a strong grip. You were ready to swing one more time as the warmth flooded your heart. "Y/N", you had never loved the sound of your name more than now. Your eyes met the familiar dark orbs. A breath hitched in your throat. Lorcan was standing right in front of you. Your mate was standing right in front of you. You couldn't help but let out a cry.

Lorcan's strong arms wrapped around you instantly. He wasn't expecting to find you here. He was about to turn around when his ears caught on to that familiar heartbeat. Your baby's heartbeat. Steady and strong. And so he leaped down the stairs into the dungeon. Only to find you in this damp, forgotten place.

"Look at me, does anything hurt?", his voice was sharp and calculated. Lorcan looked over your face at the scab on your cheek, yet you shook your head. "She told me...", you muttered. "Listen to me. Is the baby okay? You're feeling okay?", he was close to shaking; you had been dead in his mind for weeks now. He had mentally prepared to find your lifeless body. "Lorcan...", you choked out, sinking into his arms.

"I've got you, dove. I'll take you home. I will never let anyone take you or our baby away from me", he wasn't sure at this point if he was saying this to soothe you or himself more. You barely nodded as Lorcan leaned to scoop you up into his arms. You heard him mutter something else, something about staying awake, but your body was too tired. Your mind was too fried from all the lies that Maeve had told you. So you let yourself drift away.

The crackling sound of the fire woke you up. The room was dim, but in a comfortable way. It was warm, and it smelled of freshly made food. You blinked a couple of times. Your gaze followed the pressure on your thigh. A messy set of black hair met you. Lorcan was holding your hand, his head resting on your thigh as he slept, his free palm resting on your round stomach. You doubted the position was comfortable, and his shoulders, without doubt, would kill him once he woke up.

You reached down to brush his hair away from his face. You smothered the lively bond in your chest. Soaking in the warmth of it. "You have no idea how nice it is to feel you through the bond", Lorcan's voice was groggy, his eyes still closed. You gave him a sad smile, "I'm afraid I do... She told me that she killed you", you muttered. Lorcan rose slowly. His face looked grim. There was a sign of anger still there.

"I'm going to take my time when I...", Lorcan growled but you quickly clasped his hand, "Lorcan... promise me you won't go after her alone", you pleaded. You could tell that he wanted to argue back but his shoulders slumped as he let out a sigh. "How are feeling? The healer looked you over but... You can...", he broke out into yet another rant, and you reached out to him, cupping his cheek, "I'm okay, we're okay. Happy to have daddy back with us", you muttered, feeling your eyes filling up with tears.

Lorcan leaned into your touch before he clasped your hand in his, kissing it a couple of times. "I would raise armies for you and fight gods if I had to", he said, and you knew he meant all of it as he leaned closer, pressing his forehead against yours. "And I will always find you, both of you. I'll look till my very last breath", Lorcan's voice was barely a whisper as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I know, my love, I'd fight for our family with bare hands if I had to", you muttered, leaning into your mate so you could kiss him lovingly.

[morganwrites12672]

Can I request a Rowan whitethorn x f-reader

Lots of fluff and comfort from rowan reader is overwhelmed and overworked but is such a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no to people and rowan steps in and also helps reader with everything and helps her realx

Rowan Whitethorn x Reader

Summary: (request)

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Y/n groans as she opens the door to her apartment. Her bag hits the floor with a dull thud as she haphazardly tosses it on the floor. She would properly deal with it in the morning. It could wait, she was exhausted from a busy day.

It had started simple enough. She was only supposed to be doing simple tasks in the Wendlyn village. She had already been exhausted, having recently returned from a trip to do scouting in another country for Maeve.

It hadn't ended that way though. She had wound up unable to tell anyone no. She had helped everyone that had asked. How was she supposed to turn down Fenrys when he asked for help with some stitch work? How was she supposed to say no when she was called down to Mistward to help for the day? She couldn't. That seemed to be the issue.

Y/n snapped to attention as she noticed something unusual. Rowan was sitting on her couch. He wasn't supposed to have returned from his travels for another two weeks.

Her lips quirked up in a smile, she quickly walked over to the couch. She curled up on the couch next to him. Allowing her eyes to flutter closed as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I thought you were taking it easy after your trip," Rowan says quietly. The sound of his voice makes Y/n open her eyes. She looks up at him before speaking.

"I was... In Mistward." She groaned. Rowan would pry the truth out of her no matter what she tried to tell him.

Rowan shifted so that Y/n was practically laying half in his lap. She gave him a tired smile and he sighed. His eyebrows here drawn together, in concern. He was always worried about her.

"Why were you in Mistward?" He asked, his voice more irritated than before. His eyes practically pierced through her skin. It felt like he could see through her.

"It was busy. There were quite a few new half faes that entered recently. They all need training, I was just helping out a little bit!" She said, trying to defend her actions.

Rowan shook his head, looking away from her. She could feel the irritation radiating off of his body. The air in the room suddenly felt thick with tension. Rowan had told her many times recently, she needed to stop taking on too many things at once. Especially whenever she was already exhausted.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," He said finally. He looked back at her, his green eyes meeting hers. "Look at you! You're exhausted. And let me guess, you are already planning on doing more tomorrow."

Y/n sat up, frowning. He was right.

His gaze softened, "I'll say no for you. We can spend tomorrow in, together." He said softly, pressing a kis to her forehead.

She nodded, leaning back onto him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. She let her eyes fall closed, she felt peace. Being here, with her lover, was the only time she ever felt true peace. Rowan was the exact same way.

"I love you. And you're doing so much more than you need too. You take care of everyone else. Let me take care of you," He said.

She smiled against his shoulder, "I love you too." His words made her feel worlds better. She always felt like she wasn't doing enough, that she had to take care of everyone else.

It was nice for someone to take care of her instead.

[danikamariewrites]

Heyy back with another ask bestie🤭 ok so how about a cadre g**g b**g where they are in a war camp with reader and lorcan comes up in there bickering with her which gets the attention of the other cadre and row row comes in like “ik what would shut her up”😈 (they are yummier than the bat boys i stand by that😤)

Cadre (SMUT)

Lorcan x Rowan x Fenrys x Gavriel x f!reader

A/n: hey bestie! I also may favor the cadre over the bat boys at times lol. This concept has me feral so I hope you enjoy this. I left out Connall and Vaughan bc they were so left out of the books so I don’t know their character at all.

Warnings: fivesum, praise kink, degradation, name calling, and some light choking

You pushed back the canvas of the tent, Lorcan on your heels, fuming that you once again didn’t listen. “You’ve got a serious issue, you know that?” You turned, smirking at him. “Lorcan, if I listened to you we’d be dead right now.” Steam practically came out of his ears at your tone.

Before he could start screaming you both spotted Gavriel and Fenrys watching you from their seats at the war table. Fenrys was wearing a feral smirk, nothing brought him joy like watching you and Lorcan spar with your words. Gavriel kept a neutral face. As he assessed the situation and was working through how to intervene should it get physical.

Opening your mouth to say something that would send Lorcan over the edge, Rowan came up behind you. He pressed his sculpted chest into your back. Rowan held your chin in his strong hand, tilting your head back to look up at him.

His long white hair creating a curtain so it felt like it was just you and him having in the room. You flashed him a sweet smile, “Hi Rowan.” You and Rowan had been having a casual fling for some time now. Sex with no strings attached, but whenever he was around it was like you were instantly relaxed.

Rowan smirked back at you, “Hello sweetness. Are you giving Lorcan attitude again?” You feign innocence, “Me? Never.” Rowan lets a hum that let you know he saw right through your bullshit. He looks to Lorcan, keeping your head tilted against his chest, “I think I know how to make her behave. Just need some sense fucked into you huh sweetness.”

Your eyes go wide at Rowan’s boldness in front of the Cadre. He liked to keep things private between you, but you could sense something was different. You decided to play along, just to see what Rowan was scheming. You arched your back, grinding your ass into Rowan’s crotch, letting a small moan past your lips. “Yes sir.”

You could scent the arousal coming from the other Fae males in the tent. Mixing together it was overwhelming you. You didn’t know Rowan had an exhibition kink and if he was going to fuck you as the three of them watched you weren’t one to complain. You could feel your slick almost dripping down your thighs at the thought.

Rowan leans down placing wet, open mouth kisses all over your neck. “Now,” he said against your neck, “since Lorcan told us about the danger you put us all in, we’re all going to teach you a lesson. You gonna be a good girl for us?” Your heart was pounding in your ears. You had dreamed of each of these big strong males manhandling you, but all at once? You were going to pass out.

You hadn’t noticed Fenrys and Gavriel join your little circle until you felt Gavriel caress your cheek. Your attention snapped to him. “He asked you a question y/n.” Your mouth was suddenly dry. Your mind was empty as you wracked your brain for words that wouldn’t show up. Fenrys’ deep laugh had your eyes on him next. “Seems like the thought of having all of us has already caused her pretty little head to go dumb. That right baby?” You nod letting out a soft uh-huh.

“Good girl,” Lorcan purred. Rowan picks you up and brings you over to the large bed, the rest of the cadre follow. Putting you down, Rowan starts taking your leathers off, leaving you bare. He strips and slips behind you, wrapping you in his arms, leaving kisses on your jaw, neck, and shoulders. The others strip and watch you and Rowan with intense stares.

Rowan nips at your pointed ear. “The one treat you get tonight is picking who goes first, baby. Who’s it going to be?” You look at Lorcan, Gavriel, and Fenrys, meeting their hungry gazes with your own. You let out a hum as you think. “Lorcan,” you say in a seductive tone, a smirk playing on your lips.

Lorcan growls as he grabs you from Rowan. You wrap your arms around his neck, meeting his lips in a heated kiss. Your teeth and tongues clash as Lorcan fights for dominance as you push into him. You let him win as he pushes you down on the bed, pinning your shoulders.

He slowly moves down your body. Making sure to nip and kiss and lick every sensitive part of you. You shudder under his touch getting lost in the euphoric feeling of Lorcan dominating you. You caress his broad shoulders. Lorcan was quick to grab your wrists and pin them with one hand.

“Uh-uh baby. The only teary you got was picking me. You don’t get to touch.” He growls. Lorcan let’s a bit of his dark magic to wrap around your wrists, tying them to the bed. You whine as you try to move but the dark shadow like tendrils don’t give. Lorcan let’s out a dark laugh.

He moves to dig his fingers into your hips so hard your sure bruises are already forming. Lorcan drags his canines down one of your breasts, his tongue circling your hardened nipple. He looks at you through dark lashes wrapping his mouth around you and sucking hard. A high pitched moan leaves your mouth. You push your chest into his face. He lets go with a pop leaving a kiss to the top of your breast, a purple bruise forming near your nipple.

Lorcan keeps kissing and dragging his teeth down your torso while still keeping you in a death grip. He leaves teasing kisses on your clit and one tiny little lick. You buck your hips as best you can trying to move closer to his mouth. He tuts at your movements and runs a thick, long finger through your soaking folds.

“Fuck baby, so wet. That all for us?” You nod, looking at him through half lidded eyes. Lorcan lines himself up with your entrance, teasing you with the head of his thick, long cock. “You’re gunna be a good girl and take what I give you.” He grunts as he pushes into your tight cunt. You moan in unison at the feeling of him sinking inside you down to his base.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe he was so deep inside you. Lorcan gave you a second to adjust before he started thrusting into you at brutal pace. His thickness felt so good rubbing against your walls. You could do nothing but writhe beneath him. He was fucking you so good that you just went limp as you felt your orgasm approach.

Your moans got louder and louder as Lorcan pushed down on the bulge of him in your stomach. Your walls twitched around him. “Fuck-Lorcan feels so good.” “Yeah baby. You gunna come for me? Gunna come all over my cock?” You let out a pathetic whine in response. “Are you going to listen from now on? Be an obedient little slut?” You nod your head rapidly chanting yes and his name over and over.

With a few more thrusts your back is arching off the bed, your eyes screw shut as your vision goes fuzzy from the intensity of your orgasm. Your left breathless as he finishes inside you and immediately pulls out of you.

Giving you no time to recover Lorcan pulls you up by the shoulders, pulling his magic away from you. Fuck, you’re so out of it you barley feel his hand wrap around your throat. He pulls you to his chest and his lips meet your in another intense kiss. “If only I could have you all night. You’d never have a bratty attitude.”

Before you could respond Fenrys was pulling you from Lorcan’s grip. “Now Lorcan, be nice. Look at her,” Fenrys pulls you onto his lap, snaking his arms around you and rubbing soft circles into your skin with his calloused thumbs. He softly kisses your temple and you relax into him.

“She was so good for you. Don’t you think she deserves a reward?” Lorcan rolls his eyes as he adjusts his position at the foot of the bed. Fenrys gently lays you down and your eyes flutter shut. He smoothes your hair. Your eyes flutter open and wrap your arms around his neck, lazily playing with the strands of his long golden hair.

“You can hold on to me. You’re going to need to baby.” Fenrys kisses down your neck but quickly picks up the pace. Your energy comes back, spurred on by Fenrys’ eagerness to be tracing your curves for the first time. Fenrys wastes no time with you. You tug harder at those perfect curls as he slips into your already stretched out cunt.

Still sensitive from the fucking Lorcan gave you, you knew you wouldn’t last long with Fenrys. His thrusts were long and deep. Exploratory and full of curiosity. You held onto each other as his pace increased, your legs wrapping around his waist. Heels pushing into his back.

Without warning, your walls spasm around Fenrys and come. He keeps going, as he chases his own high. He looks down where you connect and he moans. Your release mixed with Lorcan’s is leaking from your hole. “Shit baby, look at you. Such a mess for us. You feel so good. I never wanna leave this pussy. So warm and full.” You bury your face into his neck and moan, his scent wrapping around you.

“Fuck, you can take another can’t you? You want my come don’t you baby?” “Yes Fenrys! Fuck, please, please, please!” Two more thrusts and his release paints your walls. You once again go limp as Fenrys collapses on top of you. Both of you panting. “So good.” He whispered into your chest.

Gavriel pulls Fenrys off you and rolls him to lay on his back next to Lorcan. Rowan is lifting you again. He turns you to look at him. You settle on your knees, steadying yourself by laying your hands on his chest. “Think you’ve learned your lesson sweets?” Gavriel kneels behind you, his chest pressing into your back.

By the grace of some god you still have the strength to look Rowan in the eyes and give him a smirk that says “not a chance”. He sighs. Looking to Gavriel, Rowan motions with his chin. Rowan move back to lay against the pillows at the headboard, spreading his legs and stroking his cock.

Gavriel moves you both back down the bed a bit then he pushes you to bend at the waist, elbows resting on the bed. Rowan fists your hair “Lets use that mouth for something other than talking back, hmm.” Rowan hummed. He pulls you down to swallow his cock. Making your head bob. Using your hands to cover what you couldn’t take in your mouth you set an acceptable pace for Rowan. “That’s it, just like that. See you can be a good girl. Just needed to give that mouth something to do.”

As you kept sucking Rowan off you felt Gavriel lightly running his fingers over your ass. He moves down to your pussy, sinking two fingers in. He curls and pumps them a few times before pulling out. Gavriel brings his fingers to his lips and licks them clean, moaning at the taste of you mixed with Lorcan and Fenrys.

“Such a filthy slut. But like Lorcan said, just for us to play with.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. As he leaned forward you felt his hard cock poke your thigh, your eyes rolling back at the thought of taking him and Rowan at the same time. Gavriel places soft kisses down your spine, so different from the way he was just talking about you.

He kisses down to your ass and finally lines himself up with you. He slowly sinks into you, letting you adjust to him inch by inch. Not like you need to after having Lorcan and Fenrys absolutely abuse you. But Gods above he feels good. But he’s taking too long.

When Gavriel finally starts to move you hum around Rowan causing him to his, his hands flying to grip your hair again. Gavriel fucks you it’s like no male has ever fucked you before. He’s taking the time to learn every inch of you inside and out. What parts of you are extra sensitive right now. You don’t know if you can go back to just having Rowan after Gavriel. The others were good, but holy shit. Gavriel was great.

You felt his fingers on your clit, rubbing it in small circles. As the pace of his thrusts picked up so did his fingers. You started to choke on Rowan’s cock and he was once again tightly grabbing your hair, controlling your movements.

You’d never admit this to any of them but this felt good. Not being in control. Being pleasured and used by them. You were in heaven right now. You felt your third orgasm on the night creeping up on you. That knot in your stomach tightening. Your eyes rolling. Your moans muffled and squeaky.

With a pinch to your clit and a few more perfectly angled thrusts from Gavriel you come undone one last time. His own orgasm following immediately after. You heard him swear above you as he pulled out of you. He kept your legs spread watching the mess between your legs drip down your thighs and onto the sheets.

Rowan pulled you off of him, finishing in his hand so you could catch your breath. As soon as he let go of your hair you collapsed on the bed, breathing deeply. You felt the four of them staring at you. It felt tense for some reason. You slowly flipped onto your back, stretching as best you could.

You let out a small hum, “Holy shit.” Fenrys let out a laugh. Rowan and Gavriel were pulling you up the bed, tucking you between them. Now that your punishment was over all they wanted to do was take care of you.

“You ok sweets?” An mmhhmm sounds from you followed by a yawn. You turn snuggling into Gavriel’s chest. He wraps an arm around you. Rowan gets up searching for a cloth or spare shirt to clean you up with. When he returns and spreads your legs you whine. Rowan quickly shushes you rubbing your thigh. “I’m just cleaning you up sweets.” He whispers.

You relax letting him wipe between your thighs. “There you go. All done.” He kisses your forehead and slips next to you again. Lorcan and Fenrys head off to their own beds after seeing you content in Rowan and Gavriel’s arms.

“Goodnight y/n,” Gavriel whispers. A cold wind rushes through the tent. Turning out all the lanterns and cooling your heated skin. You were glad it was Gavriel and Rowan holding you. You drifted off thinking what it would be like to be with them for eternity.

[readychilledwine]

Breathplay

✨️Kink Education with Elizabeth✨️

If you're looking to add danger to your sex life, look no further.

Erotic asphyxiation, or breath play, is one of the most dangerous kinks in the BDSM community. Breathplay is the act of cutting off air supply during sex with the goal of achieving a more intense orgasm. There's mild forms of breathplay (hand or elbow around throat, closing partner's nose off during oral), less mild (forcing head into pillows or objects, hoods specifically designed for breathplay), to extreme (use of plastic wrap or plastic bags, waterboarding, forcing your partner's head into a body of water) and none of them are 100% safe.

Breathplay is dangerous for anyone, but if you have an underlying health condition, especially one involving your heart or lungs, it's best to possibly avoid this form of play. You can enjoy a hand necklace without the pressure, don't worry.

This form of kink play is not recommended by any medical professional nor sex therapists.

Please play safely💜

💕Peep the Valentine's Day list here💕

As always, NSFW below cut.

Rowan Whitethorn x Reader

Warnings - I picture Rowan as a mean daddy dom with a masochistic streak, oral m receiving, p in v, reader passes out, references to her being passed around the Cadre, references to forced submission, hints of degradtion, unedited because I was running a little behind today 🫣

Rowan’s head fell back, a soft grunt falling from his lips as he seated himself all way into your throat. One hand had you back the back of your neck, forcing you where he wanted you for as long as he wanted you.

Breathing was becoming difficult, vision blurring slightly as you did everything you could to take a deep breath with your air way constricted the way it was. “Struggling whore?” You felt yourself clench at his words, at the deep graveled tone of his voice.

Rowan was never gentle with you. He was strict, demanding, and a masochist. He enjoyed watching you struggle, seeing you in pain and begging. He loved watching you cry as he pounded into you withholding orgasm after orgasm until you were so over stimulated you could do nothing but lay there, pliant to his pleasure.

You knew he cared for you, but you were his small fraction of peace in this fucked up world. One he so desperately was fighting tooth and nail to make better.

You weren't a warrior, you weren't blessed with healing magic. You were just a simple fae female. Well, as simple as a female capable of shifting into any form could be.

You were his spy. A spy damn near useless for anything but scouting, but still a spy.

Besides, he found use for you. So many uses actually.

His personal lap pet.

His personal whore.

His personal toy he could loan out to his brothers when they needed stress relief.

Right now, though, your biggest use was being his.

He pulled out slightly, grip on the sides of your neck tightening as his other hand came to hold your nose shut. “If you are struggling this early, how am I supposed to have fun with you?” The lack of air was getting to you. You knew you could tap his leg twice, and it would stop, but you wanted to desperately please him, to be of service. “Such an eager slut. You are lucky I can tell you need to breathe, y/n.” He pulled out completely, letting go of your nose. He forced you up, hand moving to the front of your throat as you gasped for air.

Precious life giving air.

He pulled you to his lips, a messy harsh kiss cutting air back off for a second as his grip tightened again.

This wasn't fully what you had in mind when he said he wanted to try something new, something Fenrys told them he had tried recently.

You would have to talk to the wolf about his reckless endangerment of himself later.

Rowan turned you, letting go long enough to force you down on the bed, forcing you hips up slightly. “Such a pretty cunt,” he slapped your core, watching in sadistic glee as as you screamed and wiggled, wetness now spreading and dripping. “All mine, isn't she?” He shoved your head into the pillow, forcing you into shocked silence.

Forcing you to be unable to answer him. “I asked you a question. Is this pussy mine?” You could hear the smirk in his voice, hear him planning on how he'd punish you.

You felt the slaps land. Three consecutive slaps right to your aching needy center.

Your moans were muffled by the pillow. You tried taking a deep breath to still your body and calm back down, but your airways were mostly blocked again.

4 more slaps came before two thick fingers plunged into you. Rowan growled behind you. “Wyrd, you are so tight. You'd like after this long we would have ruined your holes by now.” He began pulling them in and out at a blinding speed, hand still holding you in the pillows.

Your vision was going black again, mind racing as it pleaded for oxygen.

His fingers curled, and out of nowhere, an orgasm tore through you, ripping a scream of his name and the rest of the oxygen from your lungs. Rowan was silent behind you, hand moving to your hair to pull you up.

“Status?”

You shook your head, throat so sore and body needing air so badly you couldn't answer. You tapped the bed once, a code you normally only used when your lips were wrapped around his throat to indicate you needed him to slow down.

“I figured. You have never done that. You have never come without my permission.” Rowan removed his fingers from you, wiping them on the bed. He went behind you, holding your hips in his hands.

You knew he'd be gentle for a bit as his cock entered your soft walls slowly inch by inch. He took you slowly, a finger playing with your clit until you were calm again, body welcoming and swallowing him.

You relaxed, enjoy each roll of his hips as it sent a wave and wave of pleasure through you. Of the Cadre, he would always be your favorite. His length filled every inch of you so perfectly, so snugly, sex with him felt more like a puzzle finally finding its last piece than it did the obligation you were actually sent to them to fulfill. "Daddy," you moaned out, hips meeting his in a practiced dance. "So good, Daddy."

He groaned behind you. "I know, princess. Daddy's cock always makes you so wet." His hand found the back of your neck again. "Take a deep breath, princess."

He was pounding into you with in second, head forced back into the pillows as he did. You felt your hands curling at the sheets as you writhed moaning and crying below him.

It felt so fucking good. Better than normal, actually. It was as if your body was too lost on where to focus, fighting for air or relaxing and enjoying the way Rowan was ripping you apart.

You felt yourself becoming lightheaded, body softening. Rowan, misunderstanding, smiled, thinking you had fallen into his favorite overestimated dick drunken state. Your vision was filled with black dots, mind focusing on the sounds of him above you. Of his moans, his groans, the growls.

Rowan felt the moment he lost you, pulling himself out of you and flipping you as quickly as he could. "Fuck! Princess, I need you to come back to me," he started rubbing your sternum, eyes wide as he took in your face.

Your beautiful face where blood vessels had ruptured as your body struggled.

Struggled because of him.

He had almost killed you.

And you had almost let him.

He didn't know if he was angry, aroused by your complete trust in him, or just scared, but that first breath, that gasp you took before your body shook in his arms, tears falling. He laid you back down, hovering above your face and stroking your hair back. "Deep breath, y/n. There you go. Good girl."

You were met with light and green eyes staring down at you. "What happened?"

Rowan kissed your brow. "You did not use our fucking safe word or tap system is what happened. I almost fucking killed you."

You smiled below him, eyes closing again. "Felt so good. I wanted you to keep going."

Rowan’s forehead fell to yours, a rare full smile on his face. "Only you would pick dying with my cock inside of you over having to take a quick break."

He heard you moan, lips tugging up at the idea. "I would die a happy female if I died on your cock. Seems like the best way to die, actually. You buried so deep inside me, using me, body spent from pleasure."

He kissed your temple. "You will be punished for this later. Rest, my love."

"Are you sure you want to wait?"

Brows went up as he shook his head at you. "I will be bringing help with me to keep your mouth shut. Rest and prepare, princess."

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[gotham-at-nightfall]

ABC's of the X-Men

A is for Apocalypse

B is for The Brood

C is for Callisto

D is for Deathbird

E is for Exodus

F is for Fenris

G is for Goblin Queen

H is for Hellfire Club

I is for Imperial Guard

J is for Juggernaut

K is for Krakoa

L is for Legion

M is for Magneto

N is for Nimrod

O is for Omega Red

P is for Proteus

Q is for Quicksilver

R is for Reavers

S is for Sabretooth

T is for Toad

U is for Upstarts

V is for Vertigo

W is for Wendigo

X is for X-Cutioner

Y is for Yuriko

Z is for Zaladane

By Joel Furtado

[throneofsapphics]

14 with fenrys please? :)

14. “get on your hands and knees, right now”

warnings: references to trauma, implied sexual content 

for my one year drabbles celebration

“You’re just … kind of soft sometimes,” you egged him on.

It was a half truth. He could be a harsh bastard, especially in defense of those he loved, but he’d expressed a desire for more … intensity, in the bedroom and he asked you to help push him and you trusted him enough to advocate for his own boundaries, just as you did with your own. 

This is what you came up with, gentle teasing and pushing, seeing if it might unlock anything inside of him, or if there’s anything he doesn’t want unlocked. 

Trauma is tricky. You both know that. 

“Soft?” Fenrys tilted his head, a predators gaze in his eyes. You ran your fingers through your hair, watching him from the mirror. Stalking up behind you, your breath caught as his hands landed on either side of the dresser, his chest pressing up against your back. 

Teeth nipped harshly at the nape of your neck, followed quickly by a gentle kiss, followed again by a moan from your lips. 

His lips grazed over your ear, “get on your hands and knees, right now.” 

Before you could fling a smart retort at him about being stuck, he stepped back and cleared the path to the bed. Onyx eyes met yours in challenge. Asking for more. 

“Why don’t you make me?” 

[shadowdaddies]

May you please write Manon x sunshine girl reader where she begs Manon to take her with her to one of her meetings in terrasen maybe and Manon eventually says yes and the whole time they are in the meeting Manon has her on her lap and def glares at anyone who looks too long lollol

Literally everyone (Aelin, Rowan, Dorian etc.) is like shocked because they didn’t know Manon has a mate and how this ray of sunshine is with a whole man eater lolol

this is such a cute prompt 💜 love Manon with a sunshine gf

Golden

Manon x Reader fluff

“Love, would you please let me join you in this meeting?” you pleaded, tugging Manon closer by her hands, giving her your best doe eyes as you batted your lashes at her.

With a wry smirk, Manon brought a hand to your hair, running her fingers through as she moved to cup your cheek. “Why would you want to go? I don’t even want to go. It’ll be boring political talk-“ she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Gods, it’s stressing me out just thinking about it.”

Pulling her hand away from her face, you smiled brightly, rocking back and forth on your heels in eagerness. “Exactly! But I can be there to make it less terrible. And I’m happy to go wherever you go,” you murmured, twining your fingers with hers as you leaned close, lips almost brushing.

“That does make for a tempting offer,” she murmured, golden eyes shimmering as she leaned forward, lips brushing against yours tenderly. 

You followed Manon down the hall of the castle towards the room where the meeting was being held, rushing forward to take her hand in yours, rubbing your thumb against her skin in comfort. The beautiful witch maintained a stern expression, but you felt her muscles relax under your touch as the two of you entered the room.

Four heads turned towards you, all of them standing around the table. Each of them wore curious expressions, and you watched as the striking blonde’s turquoise eyes flicked down to your joined hands, an amused smile on her full lips. Her eyes slid to Manon, grin broadening into something mischievous.

“Manon,” she purred. “I don’t believe I’ve met your friend.” Manon sighed, rolling her eyes as she gestured towards the people around you.

First indicating towards the blonde, Manon drawled, “this is Aelin, her husband, Rowan,” and turning towards the two men next to them, she continued, “and this is Dorian and Fenrys.” 

Dorian reached out a hand towards you, but you ignored it as you charged at him, wrapping your arms around the man in a warm hug. “I’ve heard so much about all of you! It’s so lovely to finally meet you!” you gushed, hugging each of them, oblivious to their shock and amusement.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Manon interrupted, prompting everyone to take their seats. Pulling out her seat, you instinctively took a spot on her lap, curling your legs up as you wrapped your arms around her neck. 

Resting your head against her chest, you listened quietly as the Erilean rulers discussed politics and trade. You couldn’t help your proud smile as Manon spoke, the sheer authority she exuded. Absentmindedly, you braided her long white hair, admiring her beauty and the soothing timber of her voice as she spoke. 

You’d nearly drifted off to sleep when something bumped against your foot, rousing you from your half-wake state. Looking down, you saw a dog with golden fur and caramel eyes staring up at you. 

“Oh, aren’t you beautiful!” you cooed, jumping to the floor as you petted the pup, giggling as she licked your face. 

“That’s Fleetfoot,” Aelin spoke, a fond smile on her features as she watched the dog lean its head against your shoulder, nudging you in request for more scratches. 

“Fleetfoot, what a sweetheart,” you murmured, letting the dog rest her head in your lap as you continued showing her love. 

“She doesn’t usually take to strangers so quickly,” Rowan noted, Aelin nodding in agreement. 

“It seems like you have a talent for earning affection from... those less inclined to affection,” Fenrys teased, throwing you a wink as Manon glared at him. 

“I’ve had enough of all of you for tonight,” Manon grumbled, standing up from her seat as she reached for your hand. You took hold of hers, leaning into the witch’s side as you bid the others a good night.

“Your friends are so lovely, Manon! We should get a dog,” you noted, practically skipping down the hall back towards your shared bedroom.

“They are not my friends. And we already have Abraxos,” Manon retorted. 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you flashed her a playful grin. “Sure, those aren’t your friends,” you said in a sarcastic tone. “I had a wonderful time. Thank you for letting me join you,” you continued, eyes turning soft as you became more serious.

Manon stopped, pulling you to her as her hands threaded in your hair. “Thank you, for being there for me. I love you,” she whispered, leaning down as she began peppering kissed along your jaw, down your neck.

A whimper escaped you, the need to have her alone suddenly the only thing on your mind. Breathlessly, you tugged her away only to pull her along with you down the hall. “Let’s go back to the room and I’ll show you just how much I love you, too.”

[mira-s-bookclub]

Revelations at Court

Fenrys x Reader

Note: It wasn't supposed to be so looong, but here we are :3

Warnings: Poison, suggestiveness, hint of past trauma.

Summary: 'Rowan and Lorcan shared females', was what Aelin had told Y/n, but what if they shared -even after the female had gone?

Words Count: 3,3k

. . . . . ╰──╮ ╭──╯ . . . . .

“I think Rowan and Lorcan did it.”

“Did it?”

“You know,” I say, smiling, “it.”

Fenrys laughs. “You think they fucked?” And when he says it like that, I falter a little. Laying on the warm edge of the castle wall, eyes closed against the hot feel of the sun on my face, my head in Fenrys’ lap; he stops his play with my hair. I open my eyes, finding his frowning down at me. “We would have known.”

I sit up, “You know they shared a female before?” My mind hadn’t given that a rest after I had found out from Aelin, even keeping me up at night wondering what else those century old bastards have been doing. What maybe even Fenrys have been doing. My body heats.

His eyebrow quirks up. “So I’ve heard. But I don’t know why that interests you so much, Dove?”

I huff.

“Enlighten me,” he grins, stroking a mischievous hair behind my ear. “Do you think a lot about what other males tend to do when aroused and no females are there? Or when females just don’t -scratch that ick?” he purrs. My cheeks redden, as they often do whenever Fenrys opens that dirty mouth. I did have a sense for experimenting.

“I think,” I try to keep my voice steady, “that perhaps they continued to share, after, the female was gone.” I couldn’t keep my thoughts from trying to make this make sense. They had a sense of familiarity that they didn’t share with the rest. I had thought it came from their age and being in the same cadre through the years. But perhaps it came from a whole other reason? Perhaps, because they knew each other inside and out, literally.

“We need to investigate that, you know,” Fenrys makes a move to stand up.

“Where are you going? We’re not needed until midday -I don’t want to miss a couple hours of free time.”

“We are going to find Aelin.” He drags me up and towards the archway and inside. “And you talk as if your job isn’t voluntarily,” he chuckles at me. I shrug, working in a kingdom with plenty of gold seemed to have its advantages. “I work best with breaks and vacation.” Walking along one of the many passageways placed throughout the castle, I take a deep breath.

Finding Aelin would mean telling her about where my mind seemed to lie lately. Which could end two ways; she would laugh in our faces, never letting us forget at one time we thought her mate was banging her late enemy, or she would be on board with the thought process and help us to expose the males. They were proud males, and I so desperately needed to embarrass them a little as they have gotten too comfortable here at court. They are slacking. And a big secret that the two big brutes who never would dare to show love, were softhearted lovey-doveys with each other? I knew I was overreacting, but gods it would feel nice to catch them unexpectedly. Lorcan had caught Fenrys and me one time in a meeting room, during a…heated encounter after we had been separated for two whole weeks. He hadn’t let us live that down.

A shoulder knock into me. “Where did you go?” he asks.

I don’t answer that, instead, “Do you know where she is?” She could be anywhere, anywhere from the throne room to the theatre down in the city. I knew she loved that theatre, having been the first new thing built. She could also be on her way to another kingdom entirely; no one really knew with that female.

He looks up at the sky, at where the sun lay. “The courtyard, she and Lysandra should still be lunching at this time.” He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers and I turn my head for a kiss. “We could still make time to scratch that ick, you know? I’m sure they will wait for us.”

My heart stumbles and I roll my eyes playfully. “Gross, I don’t have sexual encounters.” His laugh is rich and full, knowing that its often me who start things between us. I’m sure we have time.

The courtyard is full of greenery, a small fountain placed in the center. Trees and bushes line the farthest wall, shading the place from windows and curious spectators. On the left side of the fountain, under a cherry tree, sits Aelin and Elide.

Holding Fenrys’ hand, I smile, and they wave us over.

Elide, holding a tray of crackers and cheese, smile at us. “We thought you might have disappeared on us for a second, taking up Dorians offer to vacation while he works in Eyllwe, just to get some sun.”

“Ha,” Aelin said, stuffing another cheese laid cracker in her mouth, “the suns too strong, she’d burn before getting there.” She winked. I walk past her, ruffling her hair and stealing the plate with crackers, taking a bite I find a chair opposite Aelin. Fenrys keeps to standing behind me.

“I’m not the one who has to keep to the castle at all times during Spring,” I say the last bit imitating her voice, “because ‘I’ve suddenly developed an allergy to flowers.’”

She laughs and Fenrys coughs. “Oh right, yea we came here for a reason,” I say, taking the cheese.

“Figures.”

I look up at Fenrys, hoping he would take the hint. I make a cheese cracker. Sighing, “What do you know about Rowan and Lorcan’s relationship?” he looks around, as if hoping neither were here.

Aelin looks confused. “I know they’ve known each other centuries,” she stops, drinking her wine, “I know they were crime buddies, back in the day.”

“But what if they were more?” the question comes out of me without thinking and I get nervous. If she’s not on board, then this is where it ends, and I will never find out if the two warriors indulged in each other.

“Like lovers?” she sounds sceptic.

“You once said Rowan had told you of a time where they would even share females, together, do you think they might have done so too without others?” I look to Elide, knowing that I am talking about her mate too, and while Aelin and Rowan had a tight bond, it was different compared to Elide and Lorcan’s. Rowan would follow Aelin wherever, but he would also heed her command to stay and protect her kingdom should it ever come to that; Lorcan would not. Elide’s face was red as I say, “do you Elide?”

Her deer eyes crinkled and she smiled brightly, “Oh gods, how I wish that true,” she said, “it would be brilliant.”

I smile and Fenrys asks, “So, he has never given any indicator?”

“No, nothing I can remember right now,” she shook her head, and I turned back to Aelin who seemed to be staring off to another world.

“Aelin?”

She looks at me, “I have a plan.”

Shaking the vial in her hand, Aelin grins at me. “This is going to be fun.” I shake my head, kind of regretting the whole thing, feeling embarrassed.

“Will the potion reveal…other things as well?” Elide asks from her place on Aelin’s bed, Lysandra having taken to the gardens with Aedion.

We had retreated to Aelin’s bedchambers after hearing her plan, I must have gone through it a million times before Fenrys finally convinced me. It wasn’t that it was a bad plan, quite the opposite, it was brilliantly simple. We are going to wait until night falls for Rowan to retreat to bed with Aelin, and when he’s not looking; Aelin will put a few drops of her soothing medication she got prescribed after the war in his tea. The vial, which on the back states quite clearly ‘Unwanted side effects with careless use: Honesty’, would help loosen Rowan’s tongue. I think I am afraid it is unmoral.

“I honestly don’t know. Perhaps.” She gives the vial another shake before putting it in her dress pocket. “Now shoo, before Rowan comes,” waving us away.

Out the door I turn to Fenrys, seeing Elide and Lysandra walk through the nearest balcony door from the corner of my sight. It was getting heated inside the castle at this point.

“You worry.” I turn my gaze yet again to him. “Rowan will be fine; Aelin knows the male good enough to know his principles and not to cross his lines. They will be fine.”

I huff. “I know.” He takes my hand in his, kissing the top knuckles.

“Then why do you worry?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh, grabbing his hand and set my course to our chambers to wait for night. “I think I’m afraid I’ve crossed a line,” I confess. “What if they don’t want to be exposed? What if this was a pure, loving relationship -And I just crashed the nostalgia?”

Fenrys kisses my cheek, smiling lovingly down at me. “They put up a statue, quite expensive one too might I add, of you and me in a…compromising position up in the queen’s gardens for all to see, just last moon.”

Oh gods. I remember Fenrys’ face when we arrived at the Spring ball, the guests had clustered around the newest statue decorating the fine garden. I had never turned so fast around. “Yeah, I’m not so worried anymore.” We might have lost that battle, but the war is still ongoing.

One.  Two.   Three drops would do it. Putting the vial back in her pocket, Aelin turns to Rowan sitting at her desk. “I talked to Y/n today.”

“Along with Fenrys I take it?”

“Yes, they look quite well, might I add.”

Rowan huff, amused. “That boy follows her around like a pup, I haven’t seen them at training in weeks.”

She smiles, putting the tray on the desk, and taking the seat opposite Rowan as he takes his tea. She had taken the rest of the crackers to serve along with the tea to make it less…obvious. “I think they find other ways to keep in shape.” Rowan turns that piercing stare to meet hers.

“Perhaps we too need to keep in shape, we have been lacking,” his grin shows off his canines. The canines Aelin can feel like a phantom against her neck. They hadn’t been lacking by any means, but she would show him.

“Yes.” And Rowan smirks as he drinks, one, two, three, and the glass is empty.

A knock at the door startles her. “Coming,” she yells.

“We are expecting?”

“Yes. And I need to ask you something.” Another set of knocks, this one harder, from a bigger fist.

“Better be fast, or the people on the other side of the door might break in should they knock any harder,” he says, his voice high for the ones outside the door to hear. Quitting the knocking.

“Are you comfortable answering a couple of questions…honestly?”

Rowan furrows his brows. “When have I not answered honestly?”

“It’s not that, but do you mind?” Already on her way to the door, she turns to watch his answer. Holding her hand at the doorknob.

“No, I don’t.” Lifting his brows, “What have you gotten yourself into now?”

She opens the door in answer.

Fenrys’ hand was stopped in the air, about to knock yet again when the door opened, revealing a very proud Aelin and a confused Rowan at her desk.

We filed in one by one.

Aelin pulls another chair to sit beside Rowan’s but takes a seat across from him, I do the same, leaving Fenrys to sit on the bed to the left along with Elide, I smile at the male in front of me. “We are questioning you.” Which was a fine way to say it.

Rowan keeps his expression calm, “Am I aloud to ask about what?”

I share a look with Aelin who nods, “About your late affairs.”

“You want to ask about Lyria?” he looks to Aelin for answers, raising a brow.

“No,” she grins up at him, “We want to ask about Lorcan.” Rowan’s face consorts into confusion.

“What would Lorcan have to do with my affairs?”

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think.”

And just when Rowan opened his mouth to speak Elide interrupts; “he’s here.” They’ve always had a close bond, seemingly close enough to feel each other’s presence. I look to Fenrys who smiles at me, and I smile back.

 My chair screech as I leave the table to open the door, revealing a sweaty Lorcan, whose eyes find Elide in less than a second. Striding past me towards Elide he says, “I was all the way across the city training the new recruits when I got your letter.” He lay a hand around her neck and pulls her into a kiss, “And you,” he turns to Aelin, pointing, “need to invest in better messengers.” She shrugs.

Sitting back down I point Lorcan to the chair beside Rowan. “Sit.”

“I am not yours to command.”

“Don’t be cross, do as you’re told.” He questions Elide with his gaze, who lets out a small laugh at my words and nods. He sits down.

“We’re to be questioned, hopefully without the usage of…other methods,” Rowan watches Aelin, who has helped herself to the crackers on the tray before them.

“Mmf,” came out of her as she chews, swallowing, “I haven’t fully healed yet since last time I came in contact with such horrid practices.” And the room fills with a tense sort of silence. Lorcan shifts in his seat. Rowan keeps his focus on Aelin, a question in his eyes. But Aelin glances at me, knowing we both share some past we cannot forget.

I glimpse the stars outside her window, shining brighter by the minute. I grin at Aelin, “Let’s start, shall we?”

The chamber is lit up by a singular lantern burning on her desk, casting the room in shadows. Fenrys has moved to seat himself beside me, keeping a hand on my thigh and moving his fingers in circular motions, making me flustered.

Rowan moves to put his forearms on the desk, setting his focus on me. My breathing quickens.

“Do you remember telling Aelin of your affairs?” I question. I keep going as he nods. “Specifically, affairs shared between you and Lorcan?”

“Yes.” Lorcan whirls his head to Rowan who looks a little surprised by his own answer. “You told her about that?” his brows drew together, and he looks to Elide.

“As if you haven’t also.” Rowan comebacks. And I hope he has, because I’m not sure I could live with myself if I caused some stride between anyone because of this. Fenrys, sensing my distress, drags his hands up my thigh, closer to that warm point between my legs. My breath hitches and he lets out a soft laugh, I catch Aelin giving us a small smirk.

“Let’s set some things straight,” Fenrys says, looking only at Rowan, “We know you fucked females together, is that right?”

“Yes,” Rowans voice was a stark contrast to the quiet in the chamber.

“Did the sexual intercourse continue after the departure of the female?”

“Yes.”

And the room goes eerie quiet. The answer to my months long revenge is laid before me.

“Rowan,” Lorcan seethe, looking between all of us, setting his eyes on Elide at last.

But Rowan watches Aelin, “you drugged me,” amusement lighting his eyes. He seemed unaware of the secret let out, proudness shone through his face.

“I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t necessary.”

“And this you call necessary,” his brows lifted, “good to know.”

My chair screech as I stand, laying my palms on the table, eying Rowan and Lorcan. I grin at them. Fenrys follows my lead and I feel his presence behind me, keeping a hand on my lower back. “Everything said in this room will be used against you both as a means to win, and end, this months old war between us. I will proudly take your surrender at present time, should you wish to keep this a secret.”

Lorcan narrows his eyes at me, and I thought Rowan would be the one to surrender first, but as Lorcan shares a look with Elide, I change my mind. “Go ahead.”

“What?”

“Go. Right. Ahead.” His smile is sinister. I look to Elide, who I thought would be at least a little uncomfortable that Lorcan would keep something like this from her, but looking in her eyes right now all I can see is an apology.

“You knew,” I conclude. We wouldn’t have needed to go to such extents if she would have told me.

“I promised to never share with another soul,” her voice is soft, a smile lining her face, “I did try to hint it, albeit secretly.” She looks to Lorcan. “I wanted you to know, since you seemed so set on the idea.”

And my face redden as Aelin barks out a laugh. As everyone seems to laugh. I slide back into my seat, my back slumped as Fenrys lays his hands on my shoulders. Kissing the top of my head, “Now we know, Love. Think you can sleep at night?”

I sigh, “Yes, now bring me the wine.” I wave.

“Your wish is my command,” Aelin says, bringing me a generous glass filled to the brim, it doesn’t take long before I refill.

Rasing my glass I toast, “For Rowan and Lorcan.”

“For Rowan and Lorcan,” echoes through the chamber.

Fixing the wrap, I set the book down on the pillow in the middle of the bed, trying to not ruffle the careful packing. “Do you think they will appreciate it?”

Fenrys laughs, “yes, but if they don’t then know that I do, enough for a lifetime.”

It had been two weeks since the revelation and somewhat truce between us. I still didn’t feel like I had gotten quite the revenge I deserved. It had taken many midnight talks and discussions between me and Fenrys before we came to the conclusion wrapped in a silk dressing on the bed.

“They’ll be back soon,” Fenrys said. At the door I turn around to look at the result, my face brightening. We had already been to Lorcan and Elides bedchambers at the castle, lastly having to sneak into the Queen and consort’s. It had worked out just fine. We had concluded that we didn’t need to announce this to the world to win, but perhaps only to those who looked for it. What better way to ensure this never is forgotten than write it into history. We had done just that.

It had taken some letters and visits, finally I had cashed in a favor, resulting in the rewrite of one of the most popular historical books in Terrasen, who luckily was placed in the Royal library. The two book I had gotten were only two of the few that would be sent out to the other kingdoms. In a century, a small paragraph could be seen on page 874, part 2, detailing the relationship of the Queen of Terrasen’s two favored court members. Taking a last glance at the book, I walk out with Fenrys. Finding our way back to our chambers in a comfortable silence.

Back in our room, I make a move to take of my sweater, feeling clam and hot. “Y/n.” I turn to find Fenrys’ eyes on my face, his pupils dilated. He grabs me by the waist as I lay my arms over his shoulders, pulling into a kiss. Backing until I feel the bed hit the back of my knees. I feel my body heat at the touch of his, the remembrance that he is mine and I am his. Before I can deepen the kiss, he stops, holding his forehead to mine, nose to nose I breathe him in. “I love you, more than you know,” he smiles. I close my eyes, “oh I know.” And we tumble back onto the bed.

. . . . . ╰──╮ ╭──╯ . . . . .

To be added to the Taglists, comment:

All ACOTAR - 🌹

All Azriel - 🥀

All TOG - 🌼

[fanwarriorfictions]

Help Me, Help You - Part Eight

Fenrys x F!reader

Summary- The reveal of Y/n’s powers leave both her and Fenrys reeling in the aftermath

Warnings- Panic attack(this is very dramatized, not exactly like a real panic attack), angsty as hell, I’m sorry

Series Masterlist

Part Eight

You’re a healer.

Two voices blending into one. One face, dark and covered in the blood of his own father, another face, golden and staring at her with a mixture of confusion and horror.

One, her brother, the one she’d just met, the one who’d saved her from the cold grip of death, who’d tried to hold her back the moment she’d seen her parents, slaughtered in her living room. Had watched in horror as she’d crawled through their blood, screaming for them.

One, Fenrys, the male who stood there, unnaturally still, only his eyes moving between her and the reflection of his face, where a scar should have been. The one that had been on his cheek, the one she’d felt below her palm when his lips had been stealing the breath from her lungs.

The scar had been severe, made by the brutal lashings of a dead queen, had stayed because he wished it, hadn’t let any of the talented healers from the torre, not even Yrene, touch the wound. He’d done that for a reason, Fenrys hadn’t told her but she could guess, and she had taken it away, at least a majority of it.

The section above his eye remained, only just beginning to heal into the smooth skin that matched the unmarked side of his face. It looked like a scar that had been healing for years, not months.

“You’re a healer,” Fenrys breathed again, not a question but a statement, “A healer.”

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing she could say, choking on the words, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, Fenrys, I’m sorry.”

Fenrys finally moved then, flinching away from his reflection, away from her. He turned, on unsteady feet, as if he would make a run for the door.

She felt like collapsing, “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Fenrys asked, finally finding more words, he searched her face as if he didn’t know who she was.

“I- I couldn’t,” she tripped over the words, how would she explain this to him? “She could- I wasn’t. I didn’t mean to.”

Fenrys seemed to connect his own dots, “It’s why you avoided the Torre, why you were so scared of it.”

It was the simplified reason, but yes, the tower of healers had nearly paralyzed her in fear when she’d seen it. And the idea of stepping foot in the white stone structure had her shaking with terror.

Y/n couldn’t stop the flow of tears down her face, and she almost sobbed when Fenrys lifted a hand to his cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried again, a broken sound tearing from her chest, a guttural moan of pain.

Fenrys looks completely torn, as if there was a raging war inside his mind, she couldn’t tell what side was winning. The horror, at what she’d done, or whatever feelings he might have had for her.

“Gods, y/n,” Fenrys said, and he took a step towards her, stopping when she cried harder, louder, “It’s okay, it’s fine.”

It was far from fine, the lie was evident in his voice no matter how much he tried to hide it. She’d taken away his scar, taken away his choice, it wasn’t alright, none of it was.

“Please, I didn’t mean too,” she sobs, “Fenrys I swear, I didn’t-“

“I know, kitten, I know. It’s okay, I’m okay.”

She could feel it now, how her whole body was trembling, violently shaking as she took a step away from him, as if she could hide from what she had done, what she’d revealed.

It’s alright, stop it, come back, they’re gone, what are you doing, stop, you’re a healer, a healer, healer.

Her brother’s voice from all those years ago slammed into her. The memories of her mother, dead in her father’s arms, his blank lifeless eyes staring at her. The way it had felt to lay her healing hands on them to find nothing left to save.

“Breathe, Y/n,” Fenrys told her, “You gotta breathe.”

You’re a healer. Stop. You can’t bring them back. Healer. You can’t use your power. Healer. She’ll take you.

“Kitten, calm down,” Fenrys ordered her, his voice sounding like a wall of glass was separating them, “You gotta breathe.”

Healer…She’ll hurt you…

Who will?

“Hey!”

Maeve…

And the world went black.

Fenrys had panicked, when he’d seen her eyes roll back, seen her body collapse to the floor before he’d been able to catch her, screaming for help despite the late hour.

A guard had rushed into the room, he hadn’t even had time to speak before Fenrys was snarling at him to grab a healer, that he didn’t care if he had to rip one out of their bed in the Torre.

Fenrys had cradled her head in his lap, off of the hard floor. She looked near lifeless, if it wasn’t for the shallow rise and fall of her chest. He monitored her closely, counting the seconds between each breath, counting his own.

Fenrys was still reeling from the shock. Seeing his face, his brothers, healed again after nearly a year. He’d almost forgotten what he truly looked like without it, had resigned himself to never see himself again, was happy of it, deserving of it.

But it was gone, most of it at least, the section above his brow had remained, still carving its path towards his hairline, a the edges softer, less jagged.

It had begun to heal, the edges smoothing over, but she’d stopped before taking the whole of it away.

A healer, she was a healer, and a powerful one at that. To take scars that were already set by his fae healing, and make them disappear without a trace, without even thinking, completely on accident.

She was nearly as powerful as Yrene, maybe even stronger due to her fae heritage. And she’d hidden it away, clearly terrified of her own magic.

And that was the strangest part. He couldn’t figure out why she would be scared of it, the gift of healing was renowned, was one of the most sought out powers in the world, but she was terrified of it, ashamed of it.

When the poor tired looking healer had arrived, he let her look over Y/n, moving the female to the bed instead of the floor. Once she was safely settled on the soft mattress he moved back just far enough for the woman to do her evaluation.

“She’s alright, a panic attack,” the healer said simply, “hit her head when she fell but she shouldn’t have much more than a headache when she wakes, I-.”

“When will she?”

The healer gave Fenrys a patient smile, like she found his fussing amusing, “she may sleep the rest of the night, she may wake in a few minutes, let her rest.”

It was the last thing he wanted to do, he had to many questions, to many things he wanted to say, wanted to do. He wanted to know why she hadn’t told him, why she was so scared of her power, he wanted to tell her he didn’t blame her for taking away his scar, didn’t hate her for it despite the raging storm of emotion in him, he wanted to kiss her again and feel her soft lips on his own.

“What happened?” Sartaq’s breathless voice reached him, the prince searching the room with wide eyes, “Is she okay, what-“

And then he stopped, his eyes flaring wide as he took in Fenrys. Took in the smooth golden skin.

“Gods,” the prince breathed.

“Everything is fine,” Fenrys says, struggling to keep his chin up, to not duck his head down, to hide.

“You may go,” Sartaq turned to the healer and the guard who had brought her, “Thank you for your help.”

“It is my pleasure,” the woman bowed her head to the crown prince.

Sartaq waited till the healer and the guard had left before he spoke again, “Fenrys, what happened? Are you okay?”

Was he okay? Truly? With the scar he’d chosen for himself nearly gone? With the female who had taken it laying unconscious in his lap from the sheer panic and agony from doing it?

“No,” Fenrys said simply, “I’m not, but it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter, my friend,” Sartaq argues, “Of course it matters.”

Fenrys shook his head, “She didn’t mean to, she didn’t know why I kept it, it’s not her fault.”

It wasn’t, how was she to know that he kept that scar as a punishment, not from Maeve, but from Connall. Kept it as if the knife he’d driven into his chest was what carved the wound into Fenrys’s face. As if his brother had spoken his final scathing thoughts and branded Fenrys with them.

“What do you mean?” Sartaq looked between them, asking again, “What happened?”

“She’s a healer,” Fenrys whispers, suddenly worried that he would wake her, and that the word would cause her to panic again, “She didn’t meant to do it, she was, we were-“

Sartaq seemed to connect the dots, “She wasn’t exactly in control of herself, was she?”

Fenrys hadn’t even been in control of himself, he’d been so caught up in her that he’d been seconds away from taking her to the bed she now laid unconscious. For months, he hadn’t been able to even think of taking someone to bed, but he’s almost done it, almost crossed that invisible line, for her.

“Did you know?” Sartaq asked.

Fenrys only shook his head, “No, I didn’t.”

Violet eyes she’d never seen before, staring at her, claiming her.

“What do we have here,” the voice, young yet ancient, wicked and enchanted.

“A little cat from the west,” she said, circling, stalking, “Hiding under my nose, beneath the wings of one of my soldiers.”

Paralyzed, unable to move, she could only watch those eyes as they trailed over her.

“Where is big brother now?” the creature asks, “No longer protecting you, hiding you beneath his wings, no one to save you now.”

Alone, she was entirely alone in this world.

“I will have you,” the queen said, “my little healer.”

“No!” She cried out, “No, no, no!”

Scrambling away from those eyes, finally free from whatever invisible chains held her down.

“Woah,” a voice, not the creatures “Hey, you’re alright, Y/n, calm down.”

A warm hand around her wrist, a shackle, a captor. He was with her, she realized, he served the queen, he would take her.

“No, no, no,” she sobs, “please, please let me go, don’t touch me, please!”

That hand ripped away from her like it had been burned, as if her skin was aflame, she wished she’d been born with fire in her veins instead of healing, she’d be able to fight her way out of this.

“Hey, you’re alright,” that voice said again, softer than before, “you’re alright, kitten, it was a dream.”

That nickname broke through some of the haze, she recognized it, felt the golden warmth that came with it.

“It was a dream,” he said again, “it’s okay, kitten, you’re okay.”

Her eyes finally took in her surroundings, the ornate room, the massive bed, the male sitting before her, another by the door.

She shied away from the second man, not quite familiar with him compared to the golden male before her. His onyx eyes were comforting, searching her own with intense curiosity.

“It’s okay, kitten,” he said, that nickname stirring her foggy mind, “you’re safe.”

“Fen?” Her mind finally supplied the name, “I- I don’t-“

“You’re okay.” Fenrys shifted closer to her, “You had a panic attack, passed out and bumped your head, you’re okay.”

Slowly, the memories started to right themselves, as if her brain had finally caught up with her. Riding with Kashin, arguing with Fenrys, kissing him, oh gods, kissing him, and healing him.

Her eyes snap to the smooth surface of his cheek, she’d taken his scar away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

His eyes shutter for only a moment, telling her all she needed to know. She’d taken away his scar, taken it without thought, and none of it was alright, she’d ruined everything.

“It’s okay,” Fenrys says, interrupting her spiraling mind, “Kitten, I swear, I know you didn’t mean to.”

“But I did it anyway,” she says softly, her voice broken.

Those onyx eyes keep searching her, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The fear wrapped around her chest, binding her, restricting her lungs. A warm hand around her wrist, a comfort, a friend, a tether to keep her from drowning.

“I was scared,” she gasps, drawing in a large breath, “I’ve been scared my whole life, since the day Vaughan rescued me from that lake.”

She realized that the crown prince was still standing by the door, his eyes averted but body still, listening. She wanted him to leave, didn’t want to share this with anyone but Fenrys.

Y/n forced herself to keep talking, “Since the day he realized I was a healer, when I’d crawled through their blood and tried to heal my parents, murdered by his own father.”

Fenrys gently squeezed her wrist, a quiet reassurance that he was there, that he was listening, that he understood that pain, that she was safe.

“Maeve was known to collect healers, keep them like pets,” Y/n says shakily, “Vaughan knew that she would take me too, he’d already been serving her for a century by that point, he knew what she did to her pets.”

The hand at her wrist shook a little, and she knew that he’d been one of hers, didn’t know exactly what she had done to him, beyond what he’d told her of his brother’s death, but she knew there was more.

“We hid my powers, hid me,” she continued, “No one in Doranelle knew I existed anyway, to keep me safe, he kept his visits short, he didn’t speak of me to anyone, and I hid in that village, in the cottage my parents died in, by the lake I’d almost drowned in, terrrified that the queen would come and take me at any moment. I never used my power, even by myself, over time, I guess my fear of Maeve turned into fear of myself, of healers.”

She didn’t blame her brother for any of it, but she recognized that her fear, her lack of control, was because of him hiding her away, locked in that little village by herself for nearly a century and a half.

The last time she’d seen him, she had begged him to stay with her, to do anything to keep her from losing her mind. But he’d refused, to keep her safe, away from Maeve, and she’d told him to never come back.

And she’s spent the last twenty years by herself, hoping he’d come home, and when he didn’t, even after Maeve had been slain, she knew he never would.

“She’s gone,” Fenrys said gently, his free hand lifting to her cheek, “she can’t hurt you anymore, I swear it, kitten, I drove the sword through her chest myself.”

She wondered if he told himself those words everyday, if that’s why he kept the scars, as a reminder that no matter what she’d done to him, he was the one who survived. And the creature that haunted both of their nightmares was dead, and never coming back.

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[erisvansserra]

Follow You

Fenrys x Reader x Azriel

Summery: 30 years ago, Y/N fell through a portal and woke up in Prythian naked an afraid. She counted herself lucky that she was found by the shadowsinger and his high lord, who took her in and gave her a home. Despite their hospitality she dreamed of her home and the mate she left behind, Fenrys, who searched for her until one day.. he finds her.

A/N: OMG thank you for all the love I've received for this fic!! I literally did not expect it and I'm so happy you all like it! You can read part 1 here.

You awake in the middle of the night and turn in bed to reach for Azriel, your hand skimming the covers in search for his warmth. When you feel nothing but cold sheets you open your eyes and look to where he should be, nothing. As you begin to wake from the early morning brain fog you realise you're in the townhouse, your friends had returned, and you were going home.

......

Hours later you're sitting in the living room with Rowan and Aelin, their presence and laughter bringing you such comfort, for the first time in 30 years you feel truely at home. Aelin was in the middle of telling you about Lysandra and Aedions wedding when the inner circle walked through the front door. Your eyes met Azriels the moment he walked through the entry way, his face a mask of indifference that made you feel uneasy. You stood from your seat on the couch, unsure if you should make the steps toward him, seek the comfort in his touch.

"Hi" you say in a soft voice, the world dripping away like melting ice as you and the shadowsinger stare at each other "Hi" he responds in a voice just as soft. His smooth voice encases your body in goosebumps, his hazel eyes took a quick sweep of your body checking for any injuries making you smile slightly. "Can you two stop being so.. weird and hug?" Cassian's loud voice breaks through the tension, making your smile grow and a blush spread on your cheeks. Azriel smiles as well and makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You feel a new type of tension enter the room as Rowan and Aelin stiffen from their spots on the couch. "What's this?" Aelin asks, her posture changing from casual comfort to regal royal with the snap of her spine. You feel that stomach twisting guilt begin to suck you in again as you look between your friends. "She's my partner” Azriel answers with a slight growl as he brings you closer to his chest, tucking you in under his chin protectively. Aelin goes to open her mouth bur Rhysand raises his hand to interject "may I show you something?" he asks. Rowan and Aelin look at each other cautiously before nodding, slowly Rhysand uses his powers to enter their minds and shows them what happened that night they found you in the wood.

30 Years Ago

You fell from the sky, the limbs of trees smacking your naked body as you crashed to the cool ground. You screamed in pain as your plumet reached its end, hitting the ground so hard you swore the earth shook. With a broken arm that you cradled with care you began walking around the unfamillar woods, the air smelt different here, your keen eye sight couldn't pick up on anything that reminded you of home. You walked for about 15 minutes before a winged male landed before you. You yelped and began running in the other direction, your legs full of scratches that burnt and bled as your legs pumped under you. Before you got the chance to escape another winged male landed and put a knife to your throat. You whimpered and fell to your knees before him, your broken arm still pressed to your chest as you quickly submitted to the winged male. You felt the tip of his knife under your chin, slowly he lifted your face to his, all you could see in the darkness was those light hazel eyes. "Who are you?" he asked, his voice as harsh as the ground you kneeled upon "y/n" you answered. The male from earlier now stood behind you, their weapons within reach if they needed it.

The memory changed, a new memory coming to view.

It had been 18 months since the night court took you in, tried to give you a home, tried to replace what you lost. Azriel was at your door, a fresh bowl of soup in his hand as he knocked and waited for you to answer. After a few moments he let himself in, you were in bed, depression had taken its toll on you. Your hair was knotted, your skin blanched and dry, your eyes red and puffy from the lack of sleep. Azriel tried to get you to talk, but all you could mutter was his name "fenrys" over and over again. .

The memory moved forward again. You sat in the grass 6 years ago, your skin starting to give a healthy glow and your hair long and healthy. Azriel watched you as you shook your hair out of your face and laid in the grass, sweeping your hands over the blades as you took in the sweet spring air.

He approached you, his boots flanking either side of your head as he peered down to look into your eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be training with Cassian?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. With a click of your tongue you answer “I don’t want to train today, I want to enjoy the first day of spring”. A small smile threatens to creep along his face as he nods, considering your statement.

“Well” he starts, turning his head to look out towards the house of wind, like he could see Cassian sitting there still waiting for you to turn up .“What would you rather do today? If not train” he finishes, his eyes sweeping over to you once more.

You inched your head slightly closer to his left boot, cocking your head as you looked up at him. The sun cast his face in shadow, making his features look sharper and his warm eyes glow ever so slightly.

“Maybe I could do some spy work with you?” You ask, his eyebrows jump up in surprise.

“Really?” He says with a warm chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine “I’ve been here 24 years and never left this court, I’d like to see more of this world” you answer. His face drops slightly at your words, his brother has been locked under the mountain for some time now, prythian was no longer safe. He couldn’t risk losing someone else he.. cared for, not now, not ever. But when he looked at you, saw the hope in your eyes and watched as you held your breath, something in his chest cracked.

“Okay, you can come with me to the edge of our court” he relents but smiles as he watches you beam up at him.

Neither of you knew it, but this was the first stepping stone towards your relationship now. Love slowly blossomed between you in the following year, but he knew deep down you still loved your mate and that was something he was willing to live with if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with you.

Present day

Aelin and Rowan jumped back in their seats as Rhysand left their minds “what the hell was that?!” Aelin shouted, her hands coming to cup each temple of her head.

Rhysand took a moment to explain and apologise for his power, that he was showing them Azriel memories in hopes it can better illustrate your situation. You stepped away from Azriel and walked over to Rowan, kneeling before your cousin you took his large hand in yours.

“I mourned Fenrys for 25 years cousin, I still mourn the loss of him now…” you say as Rowans emerald eyes flick to yours, his mind still reeling from Rhys power.

“I know you of all people would understand the guilt I feel, Rowan, please do not pass judgement too harshly on me” you continue, your voice threatening to convey the very guilt you feel as it tremors slightly. Rowans eyes soften at your words, he doesn’t look towards Aelin as his hand tightens around your own. He gives you a small nod in understanding, his eyes flicking between your own, the pressure lifting from your chest slightly.

Releasing a shuddering breath you rise in front of him and look towards Aelin, you know her and Fenrys are close, you knew it was her judgement that would affect your standing in court. Her eyes pierced you in your place, not a friend but a queen sat before you now. her eyes rake up and down your body before she says “Fenrys has been in his animal form the last 30 years searching for you”.

“Show me” you say looking to Rhysand, his expression unreadable as his eyes shift to Aelin, she nods in acceptance and you feel Rhys power enter your mind.

You see a white wolf, from Aelins POV. It laps at the lake you swam in in your dream, its fur greying and matted in some places. Her eyes skim over its emaciated body, ribs poking out from under its skin.

“You have to eat Fen” you hear Aelin coo to the wolf, it doesn’t even look at her before it plods off in the opposite direction, off to continue its search.

Rhysands power leaves you again, you feel the bile racing up your throat as you turn and sprint through the inner circle to make it outside where you throw up over the balcony railing. Azriel sighs and leaves to comfort you as he always has.

Back in the living room of the town house Rowan shoots Aelin with a glare, clearly upset she chose that memory of Fenrys instead of one where he looked a little less disheveled. “How often does she react like this?” Rowan asks the group as he stands from his seat.

“When she first arrived it was everyday, now it’s… every other day” Cassian answers looking over his shoulder to where you stand beside Azriel as he rubs soothing circles on your back. “I know she is mated to your friend, I know you want to protect him” he continues, his voice soft as he looks back at Rowan. “But she does grieve him, do not think that because she has found Azriel she has forgotten her mate”.

Rowan looks out to you now, his chest threatening to concave on itself as he sees you, his cousin and best friend lost in a fit of grief. He places a hand on Cassians shoulder as he walks past him to the balcony where you and Az whisper to each other. At his arrival you look over your shoulder, your eyes red and puffy from the tears that you’ve shed.

“When was the last time you shifted, cousin?” He asks as he places a hand on your shoulder. “Rowan I-“ you begin but his warm share cuts you off, you sigh before you answer him again “I haven’t shifted since I’ve been here”

Rowan hums in response, then lightly pats you back, he walks around you and the shadowsinger, down the garden steps and waits at the bottom.

“Come on y/n let’s have some fun” Rowan says as he shifts into a hawk. Azriel looks to you in disbelief, he takes a few steps away as the rest of the inner circle make their way outside to investigate the bright light they saw when Rowan shifted. You look at each of their faces, then back to the bird that flies impatiently around the townhouse.

“What animal do you think is faster?” Aelin asks no one in particular as she joins the rest of the house. The inner circle look to her as you decent the balcony and give your body a quick shake as you prepare to shift. A bright light engulfs the garden again as your body bends and transforms into a black panther, your sleek body and coat shine in the sun, you move your paws along the grass feeling the earth beneath you.

Looking over your shoulder your eyes meet Azriels who stares in disbelief, but in this moment you don’t care about anything but the primal call in your heart. The call to run, to hunt, to stalk. The hawk swoops from above you, its sharp talons clipping your ear warning a growl from deep in your feline belly. As the hawk shrills in warning you take off, running away from the townhouse and down the streets of velaris.

A/n: sorry If this chapter seemed super jumpy, I wanted to give more back story to Azriel and y/n while also capturing Aelin and Rowans discomfort. I hope you liked it!!