#femslash big bang

[femslashbigbang]

Announcing the Femslash Big Bang for 2025!

This is a pan-fandom celebration of all things femslash ✨🪻

More information will come shortly, but in the mean time please check out our AO3 collection for past works :)

I'm also on the look out for additional mods, so please get in contact if you're interested!

follow the blog + check the tag #ffbb2025 for updates. More Good Things coming soon!!

[mushi-shield]

[femslashevents]

Wip big bang art claim is open!

...& many more! (These are just the screenshots of some femslash fics that haven't been claimed yet) Full List | Sign Up

[mirandyevents]

Hello and welcome, all 100 followers!

If you have any Mirandy or DWP related event going on, or multifandom events open to it, feel free to send the links our way to share them :)

& all Mirandy bloggers who aren't on the masterlist yet, reblog/reply to the post and you'll be added!

[wipbigbang]

The final round of art claims is open at @wipbigbang! We have all sorts of great stories left in multiple fandoms, and we'd love any type of fanart for them: traditional art, digital art, fanmixes, moodboards, fic covers/chapter headers...any kind of art you can imagine!

The synopses are located at https://wipbigbang.dreamwidth.org/173272.html

The form is located at https://forms.gle/yyxkCxyXJopMTyUs8.

The Last Binding (Freya Marske)

#151

Title: The New Blythe Traditions

Pairing/Characters: Maud Blythe & Robin Blythe, Robin Blythe/Edwin Courcey, Maud Blythe/Violet Debenham

Rating Teen | T

Warnings/Tags: No Warnings apply

discussions of period-typical homophobia

Summary: After the events of A Marvellous Light, Maud worries that her brother is not telling her something important. When she finally asks, she is surprised to learn about his relationship with Edwin. But she sets out to get to know the man her brother cares about. Upon her return from America, it is her turn to have a surprising conversation with her brother about her relationship and introduce both Robin and Edwin to Violet.

[mcytblrsource]

YEARLY MCYTBLR RECAP: 2024 EDITION

MCYTblr is a very large space if you see any missing events, exchange, or something else please send us an ask!

JANUARY

EVENTS:

FitPac Week Hermitcraft Rare Pair Week Wormman Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event MCYT T4T Week SpiderBit Week Treebark Title Swap MCYT Fanfiction Appreciation Week MCYT Physical Disability Week

ZINES AND MAPs:

Flamekeeper Zine Limited Life MAP Tribute to Jellie MAP

FEBRUARY

EVENTS:

MCYT Build Month Etoiles Week Fitpac Valentine's Drabble Fest Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Love Month Techza Week MCYT Yuri Week - Valentines Vylenix Week

GIFT EXCHANGES: (Based off of the beginning of posting period)

QSMP Secret Valentine QSMP Valentine's Gift Exchange MCYT Valentines MCYT Dead Dove Kink Meme Driving After Dark 2

ZINES AND MAPs:

Empires Rainbow Zine Convex Matryoshka MAP

MARCH

EVENTS:

QSMP Month Dream SMP Eras Event SMPLIVE Bingo Shubble Support Day QSMP Language Day Decked Out 2 Writing Challenge Week MCYT Aro Week Skizzleman Week SpiderBit Week Vitalasubzam Week Grumbo Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Themes Month MCYT Underdogs Event

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Recursive Dream SMP Rarepair Big Bang

ZINES AND MAPs:

Isla y Ovos Zine

APRIL

EVENTS:

Mumscarian Week The Bright Side of Life Series MCYT-Fem Slash Treebark Week Katecinda Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Angst Month

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Horror Gift Exchange

ZINES AND MAPs:

Hermitzine 8.5: April Fools edition The Minecraft Speedrunning Tarot Project Hermits Zine: Geminitay Edition Desert Duo Tongues and Teeth MAP

MAY

EVENTS:

Hermit-A-Day May HideDuo Kiss Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Duos Month! Fish Donna Week Hermitcraft Guess The Author QSMP AU Week

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Drabble Exchange

ZINES AND MAPs:

Hermit Coloring Book Mianite Zine

JUNE

EVENTS:

MCYT Omegaverse Month Voices For The Blade MCYT Trans Week Scarian Summer Smooch Fest MCYT Subversion Week Niki Nihachu Summer Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Pre-Canon Month

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Multilingual Big Bang

ZINES AND MAPs:

Boatem Village Zine Trafficzine Edition 5 Flowers in the Desert: A Desert Duo Zine

JULY

EVENTS:

MCYT Co-Create Event Gem Pearl Week MCYT Aspec Week Hot Scarian Summer RedScape Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Post-Canon Month fWhimmy Week HideDuo Week MCYTblr Fandom Crossover/AU event

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYTBLR AU Fest MCYT Fic Fight Driving After Dark 3 QSMP Big Bang

ZINES AND MAPs:

Petals of a Rose - Hideduo Zine Fairytales from the SMP: Volume II

AUGUST

EVENTS:

MCYT Musical Bingo Event QSMP Month(s) Hypnotizd ship week Skizz Week 2 FelPac week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Crack Month

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Summer of Yuri MCYT RPF KinkMeme

ZINES AND MAPs:

Chronicles: a QSMP Egg Zine MCYT Sapphic Zine Empiropedia Hotguy Comics Zine Hermitzine 9: H is for Hermitcraft Bread Hermitcraft MAP

SEPTEMBER

EVENTS:

MCYT Non-POV Event Your Cubito, Your Culture Event Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Places Month Sausage September

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYTblr Fluff Gift Exchange MCYT Jukebox Bonanza Event

ZINES AND MAPs:

Hermitcraft Season 9 Zine The Hermit Arcana The QSMP Story- Animation Collab

OCTOBER

EVENTS:

MCYT Aro Week 2 Weekly Hermitober + Life Series Spiderbit/Guapoduo Fluff or Fright Scarian Autumn Smooch Fest fWhimmy Week QSMP Halloween Fanworks Event Hideduo Trick or Treat Week ImpSkizztober GTWScartober2024 Rats SMPtober Hermittober Team Ranchers Week Weekly Hermittober Pisstober MCYT Femslash: Vampires VS Werewolves Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Limbo Month 7 Holy Nights of Jeremy

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Horror Gift Exchange 2 MCYT Yaoi Exchange MCYT Trick-Or-Treat MCYT Halloween Gift Exchange

NOVEMBER

EVENTS:

DoubleHearted-vember Sixteenth Day Event: Memory Month MCYT Fan Fundraiser: Art Showcase

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYT Prompt Exchange

ZINES AND MAPs:

The Reason is You Zine [SpiderBit]

DECEMBER

EVENTS:

QPR Kersuma Week Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Festive Month Bedrock Bros Prompt Months MCYT Christmas Prompt List Shadowrot Week Fuga4 Week Zedaph Week Felps Weekend Event MCYT Advent Solstice Social Collaborative Fanwork Event

GIFT EXCHANGES:

MCYTblr Holiday Exchange Rivals Duo Holiday Gift Exchange MCSR Mini Gift Exchange MCSR Winter Big Bang MCYT Playwriting Festival

ZINES AND MAPs:

Treebark Zine Coloring with Hermits The Heart of the Ouroboros - LifeSteal Zine Views of Hermitcraft 2025 Calendar Moonrot-Pearleo Zine Hermit Heartthrobs 2025 Calendar Morning Star Zine Double-Hearted : DDVAU Holiday Zine

[1dficfests]

Fics:

📚Zayn's Album Fic Fest @zaynsalbumsficfest (ao3)

📚1D Rom-Com Fic Fest @romcom1dficfest​ (ao3)

📚1D Soulmate Fest @1dsoulmatefest​ (ao3)

📚Dirty Thirty Fest @dirtythirtyfest (ao3)

📚1D Song Fic Fest @1dsongfest​ (ao3)

📚Girl Direction Femslash Festuary @girldirectionfest (ao3)

📚Not Just Smut Fic Fest @notjustsmutficfest (ao3)

📚Omega Harry Fest @omegaharryfest (ao3)

📚One Direction Big Bang (ao3)

📚1D Dystopian Fest @1ddystopianfest​ (ao3)

📚​Comfort Fic fest @comfortficfest (ao3)

📚Wankfest @wankersday (ao3)

📚1D Omegaverse Fic Fest @1domegaverseficfest (ao3)

📚1D Mpreg Fic Fest @1dmpregficfest (ao3)

📚1D Astro Fic Fest @1dastroficfest (ao3)

📚1D Aro/Ace Fic Fest @1daroaceficfest (ao3)

📚1D Teamwork Fest @1dteamworkfest ​ (ao3)

📚1D Taylor Swift Fic Fest @1dtaylorswiftficfest (ao3)

📚1D Alpha Louis Fest @1dalphalouisfest (ao3)

📚One Direction Folklore Fest @onedirectionfolklorefest (ao3)

📚1D Wordplay Challenge @wordplayfics (Nest, Tight, Carry, Press, Interference)

📚1D Watersports Fic Fest @1dwatersportsficfest (ao3)

📚1D Flower Fest @1d-flower-fest (ao3)

📚Bottom Louis Fic Fest @bottomlouisficfest (ao3)

📚Top Harry Fic Fest @topharryficfest (ao3)

📚1D I Do Fest @1didofest (ao3)

📚Louis Rare Pair Fest @louisrarepairfest (ao3)

📚Larry After Dark Fic Fest @larryafterdarkfest (ao3)

📚1D Trick Or Treat Fest 2024 @1dtrickortreatfest (ao3)

📚Second Time's A Charm Fest Collection @newsecondtimesacharmfest (ao3)

📚1D Neglected Tags Fest @1dneglectedtagsfest (ao3)

📚Girl Direction Fest @girldirectionfest (ao3)

📚Wanksgiving Fest @wanksgivingfest (ao3)

📚Omega Harry Fic Fest (ao3)

2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017

Last updated: 30th December 2024

[medusapelagia]

Other events: General, Rare Pairs, Character Centered Events - May Update

Stranger Things Big Bang ( @strangerthingsbigbang) The authors sign up are closed but the Artist sign up is open till May 11! Event info

Strangers Things Monsterfucker May challenge (@aidaronan) An event for the monsterfucker lovers! Event info

Hawkins microfic ( @hawkinsmicrofic) Here it is! Get ready to challenge yourself with a prompt and a defined number of words. May prompt is: Eyes - 528 words Event info

Billy Hargrove Big Bang ( @billybigbang2024) Billy Big Bang is back on under a new management! Join us! Writer Sign-Ups Close: May 15 Artist Sign-Ups Close: July 6 Event info

Stranger Things Sapphic Mini Bang ( @sapphicstevents) Writers Sign Ups are closed, but Artists Sign Ups are open till the 14th of June Event info

Corroded Coffin Fest ( @corrodedcoffinfest) This even will take place from July 1st thru July 31st but there are going to be some warm up events! MAY 15TH - GET A JOB JUNE 15TH - BAND ON THE RUN Event Info

A Stranger Summer ( @astrangersummer) A Strange Summer it's finally started! Have fun with some weekly prompts through the months of May, June, July, and August! Event info Prompts list

Summer Things Fest ( @summerthingsfest) A prompt base fest open to all ships! Prompts open on the 26th of April Claim from from the 10th of May Event info on AO3

BUCKLEWAY APPRECIATION WEEK Do you think it was a pity that Robin and Heather never got time together on screen? Here is your occasion to make it happen! Run from MAY 19 - 25 Event info

Metalsandwich Movie Mania ( @now-showing-at-the-hawk-events) Post-2000s Metalsandwich Movie Mania will take place June 9th-22nd Pre-2000s Metalsandwich Movie Mania will take place November 10th-23rd!  Event Info and prompts!

Eddie Munson Big Bang ( @eddiemunsonbigbang) It’s still a bit early but get ready to sign up to the most metal Big Band ever! Sign ups open on July 1st, 2024 and close on September 9th, 2024 Event info

Stevie week ( @stevieweek) A week were all Stevies are welcome! Non-binary, genderqueer, cisgender, gender fluid etc. From the 4th of July to the 10th of July Event info

Metal Sandwich Bingo ( @metalsandwichbingo) The bingo will take place 1 Oct - 31 Dec, 2024, more info closer to the event! Event Info

Steve Harrington Big Bang ( @steveharringtonbigbang) Finally we have some info about this Big Bang that was postponed to 2025! Sign Ups Open -- January 01, 2025 Sign Ups Close -- March 21, 2025 Event info

Stommy Big Bang ( @stommybigbang) It's still a work in progress but keep an eye on their page for more info soon!

StrangerThings Reverse Big Bang ( @strangerthingsreversebigbang) This year Big Bang was such a huge success that I can't wait for the next one! Sign-ups opening September 2025!

As always feel free to reblog and add other events!

Under the cut the past events if you want something to read!

Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang @strangerthingsreversebigbang Here is the AO3 collection !

Rare Pair Roulette ( @st-rarepair-roulette) Find all the fics in the AO3 collection!

Stranger Things Femslash ( @strangerthingsfemslash) Here is the AO3 Collection

[fazedlight]

Supercorp Fic Trends

I was inspired by the femslash stats to take a look at supercorp fics, and graphed the history of supercorp fics created per month for the past 4 years. It looks like supercorp used to average about 330 fics/month, and now averages around 130 fics/month.

There are some very clear peaks like:

The S6 mid-season finale (May 2021)

Supercorptober 🎃 (run by @kmsdraws) every year

Supercorp Big Bang ⚡ (@supercorpbb) is creating a spike now!!

There's definitely fewer new fics these days compared to years ago... but the show has been finished close to 2 years at this point, and we're still getting an average of 4 new fics a day? We're still running events and getting excited on twitter about the actors?? I think that's very cool!

(There are plenty of ways to crunch data and we can debate on what gives the "best" view, but this is the least error-prone way I could think of. The trend line is exponential as the rate of change seemed more meaningful than the change itself.)

Anyway, was mostly curious, both as a supercorp author and an incurable nerd. The fandom may be calming, but we're nowhere near done 💗

[chadsuke]

Feng Xin has always struggled with being the only female Martial God - but Mu Qing has never been one to taunt her for that. Mu Qing has seen Feng Xin's struggles, and keeps her secret tucked deep inside. Why would she wish to subject herself to such?

Written for the @tgcf-reverse-big-bang, for @/biancaboop’s lovely art, which you can find here on bluesky and here on Twitter! Gender feels and Fengqing Femslash~.

[femslashbigbang]

[crawling out of my cave] what if......we make a comeback 👀

[rnmevents]

2024 RNM Fandom Events Calendar

Below, you’ll find an always-being-updated list of events going on in the RNM fandom throughout the year as they are announced:

RNM Big Bang

Signups open: April 3rd

Sign ups CLOSED

RNM After Dark

Dates to be announced

2019 calendar || 2020 calendar || 2021 calendar || 2022 calendar || 2023 calendar

Questions? Concerns? See an event missing? Send us a message!

past 2024 events:

Sunrise on CrashDown

January 13th-15th

Kyle Valenti Weekend

February 9th-11th

Liz Week

May 13th-19th

Hatch Day Party

June 14th-16th

RNM Femslash Exchange

June 24th-30th

Isobel Evans Weekend

July 26th-28th

Max Evans Weekend

September 27th-29th

RIP Roswell

October 31st-November 3rd

RNM Big Bang

ended December 2024

RNM Secret Santa

December 22nd-24th

[patron-saints]

For the big bang asks! What got you into Royai?

What is your favorite headcanon? Least favorite?

hi anon! thank you for asking!

i watched fma for the first time last year in march, and i loved so many aspects of it to pieces (i generally make content for femslash rareships lol) but! there is just something about the dedication and sheer drift compatibility of royai that Compels me lol. also, @iztopher asking about them on a poll blog (on anon!) helped me to see them the way i do now (queerplatonic) and that really made me fall harder for them, esp after the promised day!

i answered favorite here which is ofc, interpreting their relationship as queerplatonic! another favorite would probably be that they're both kinda shit at self-care, but they're good at taking care of each other, so it balances out into one functional person.

not the biggest fan in the world of when people characterize them as ed & al's parental figures, i love it when people can have different kinds of relationships with the adults in their lives - and i like royai as like, mentors or older cousins/aunt & uncle for them. izumi and sig are their most significant parental figures for me!

thanks!

[abarero]

ao3 wrapped 2024 [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? 258,855

How many works did you publish this year? 10

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Cross My Heart {and Hope to Die} because I got way outside of my comfort zone with this one and I still think I’m doing pretty well with it. 

What work of yours has the most hits? Kamihama Ultra Beast Files with 962 

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Uhhh basically any of them. I love comments and going from older big fandoms to tiny femslash fandom has definitely made it rough. So anytime I get a comment I’m thrilled.

Favorite title you used Cross My Heart {and Hope to Die} and Do Androids Dream of Falling in Love? Both of which I think are fun plays on a familiar saying. 

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? No lyrics this year. 

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Touka/Nemu (can’t let @chairteeth have all the fun)

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Mikoto/Hanna. They are THE blorbos and I really enjoy playing with their dynamic in different settings. 

What work was the quickest to write? Probably my last minute speedrun for Snow-Kissed Christmas, which I did while sick. I started it the 21st and had all 4 chapters ready to post by the 25th.

What work took you the longest to write? Cross My Heart {and Hope to Die} always takes me the longest because I’m usually doing like eighteen tabs worth of research for historical stuff on each 10k+ chapter.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? 4, two continuing and 2 new

What’s your longest work of the year? Kamihama Ultra Beast Files at 118,046 words

What’s your shortest work of the year? Reverse, Repeat, Resolution at 500 words

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? KUBF and CMH

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Canon Compliant and Romance

Your favorite character to write this year? Mikoto, Nemu and Mitsune (also Phichit and Emiri). Mikoto is just so earnest, Nemu has more layers than an onion, and Mitsune has hilarious speech quirks (lol). The other two are just fun side characters which I got to enjoy writing. 

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Alina because I know zero Italian so I have to cross reference terms and phrases every time she speaks. 

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Mikoto/Hanna. Because they’re my blorbos and I cannot get enough of writing them. But I’m also looking forward to some Emiri/Hinano and other side pairs in CMH.

Which work of yours have you reread the most? someone will remember us (even in another time) got me through MagiReco EOS like a balm on my soul.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 82

Which work has the most comments? KUBF. Thanks to my loyal commenter 🙇‍♀️ 

Did you do any collaborative works this year? Both KUBF and CMH have associated fanart from amazing artists as part of the Mini Bang projects. 

Did you write any gifts this year? 5/10 were gifts or some part of an exchange/event! 

Did you receive any gifts this year? Yes, 4! (Two by @harocat and two from Yuletide)

What’s your most common category? F/F (do it for Sappho)

What do you listen to while writing? MagiReco OSTs

Favorite work you wrote this year? Cross My Heart {and Hope to Die} for being so different than anything else.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?  

“Must be a Christmas miracle then.”

Touka snorted. “Is that what we're calling this?”

She leveled her with a look as she handed over a mug of hot chocolate.

“If you, at any time, call our relationship a Christmas miracle, just know that somewhere, someone deeply religious who hates lesbians is probably having an aneurysm.”

Touka grinned. “All the more reason to do so, I think.” This one from Snow-Kissed Christmas because I am very proud of it.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?  Mostly surprised by myself when it comes to CMH. Previously if you told me I’d be writing a fic with technically all (MCD is but isn’t there bc they are vampired) the Archive warnings I would have thought it highly unlikely, but here I am. 

[wipbigbang]

This is Round Three of the Artist Claims for the 2023 round of WIPBB. You may claim as many fics as you want this round. If you want only one fic, please fill out the form once with your top choices. If you want two fics, fill out the form twice with your first choice in the first form submission with one unique ID and the second choice in another submission with a different unique ID. If you want to claim three or more, fill out the form each time with a unique ID.

The synopses are located at https://wipbigbang.dreamwidth.org/172787.html

The form is located at https://forms.gle/RLv3ZuRYyJYMPB6c7.

Round three of the art claims will go on until July 8th.

Marvel Cinematic Universe (Wandavision)

#080

Title: the season of the witch

Pairing/Characters: Wanda Maximoff/Agatha Harkness

Rating Explicit | E

Warnings/Tags: No Warnings apply

Older woman/younger woman. Power imbalance.

Summary: Salem witch trials AU. Agatha is bored until Wanda enters her life.

[autisticandroids]

14 & 22 for the end of year asks :-)

[questions here]

14. Something new you tried this year

so this was a big year for me for longform explorations of non-destiel pairings. which i haven't really done before.

first was wink, which was kind of in many ways now that i think about it, a trial run for what the year would become. it was shorter and not really on an external deadline in the same way (the other two were for bangs, which are pretty serious, but wink was for @spntoxicfemslashevent, which is as far as i can tell pretty lax about "deadlines" and such) and i think most importantly it was about a character who i didn't have that many pre-existing ideas about? like fundamentally wink is a character study of cassie and i just don't feel like i know cassie that well, so writing it felt like a process of getting to know her, rather than a process of trying to translate thoughts i already had into plot and character beats. i could shape the character i was understanding her to be around the necessities of having an arc and a story, i wasn't constrained by a predetermined specific set of personality traits and prior experiences that i was deeply invested in conveying.

obviously that comes with its own minefield. one reason that i'm often hesitant to play in a supernatural femslash space when it comes to other people's fic is that characters can end up voids of personality, squashed into the same five or six pre-made molds like dolls wearing different wigs. and this goes triple for single episode characters like cassie. so i did work really hard to ground cassie in her canonical appearance. i grounded her arc in the death of her father which is like, the main thing we learn about her in the show. i grounded her in cape girardeau (i actually researched some stuff about the city. not much but a bit). i grounded her in her job. i grounded her in the fact that she was willing to have her skepticism shaken by new evidence. i tried to work hard to produce a character and personality actually based in the character and personality we saw in the episode. but there's still only so far you can take it.

and there were other things that made wink simpler to write. it's got a straightforward horror arc which is really where i prefer to play. actually if you're wondering why so many of my pwp fics play out Like That it's because i use horror arcs a lot. like in the end that's just a very simple style for me to write in.

it's also more a character study than a romance. i spent more time with cassie than actually trying to make you buy cassie/meg, which is much easier for me.

and then of course, i know meg very well but i didn't need to bother to really dig into her or show her complexity at all, so that was easy. plus it was a treat to play in a meg 1.0 space, i never do that. a meg who is actively possessing meg masters and whose father is alive is an interesting doll to play with.

but also in the end meg is straightforwardly the villain of this piece. which means she's a convenient rock to throw at cassie. i didn't have to invent any rocks to throw at cassie i already had one built in.

so that's a lot of reasons wink was a lot simpler than the other two fics i want to talk about.

the second one i wrote was not him/not her/not me and this one was actually the hardest! i'm honestly still not totally happy with it, there was a lot of... i guess... meaning that i wanted to put into it that i just don't feel like got conveyed. i'm happier than i thought i would be, though, i think. if i rewrote this, i don't actually know if i would add any scenes, just make the ones in it longer, maybe. i don't know, maybe have more scene repetition. spend more time with cas' guilt towards her.

anyway, i hear you, you're saying megstiel? megstiel was your most difficult fic of the year? megstiel? the megstiel you've ALREADY written a fic for? that megstiel? and to that i say: yes. the thing about a post-canon megstiel is that... they actually lack a lot of tension? a lot of the tension in their relationship was circumstantial, not actually internal really. things kept happening to both of them to cause problems but they didn't really cause problems for each other. certainly not once they were both on the same side.

and if there were problems, it was cas causing problems for meg. like, she's the one who's embarrassed to have squishy little feelings for him. she's the one causing problems for herself to help him. and she's the one who feels left out in the cold when he goes running after sam and dean. so if one is writing from her perspective, there are rocks to be thrown. but for cas? meg has legitimately been pretty much nothing but a positive presence in his life. which means that the conflict basically has to be externally generated. and i wanted to be in cas' head. so.

the other thing is that, like. this was a reverse bang, right? it was for the @spnangelsanddemons-rb. and i saw this super cool art of cas and meg in the empty by @hawkland and i was like okay fab i love to think about cas and meg in the empty. cas and meg afterlife hangouts has been a frequent topic of contemplation for me since i read this fic. and i was fresh off writing he's gonna take my files for the @deancas-stabfest and i felt like there were still meat on those bones. specifically i had intentionally omitted cas' non-dean related memories from that fic for various reasons, but i felt like if i chose a theme to vamp on, instead of just "general bad memories," i could successfully venture outside that limited scope. but the thing is i didn't realize that putting a different spin on a similar premise is like. really hard. especially because like. personally i honestly think he's gonna take my files is really good? like it's a fic of mine that i like a lot. and i think that set me up for dissatisfaction with not him/not her/not me.

i also struggled with my theme? like the sort of direct parallel [parent figure (evil version) -> replacement god -> each other] was fun in theory but it was hard to make it work. mostly actually because differentiating between meg's relationship to azazel and her relationship with lucifer is kind of hard.

and then also while i was working on this fic i wrote the fic dog pit, mostly because i was already playing in that space for not him/not her/not me, like that's where dog pit came from. and that worked really well but then i had to find a way to not just basically rewrite dog pit for nhnhnm (<- good lord look at that acronym i've never typed it out before).

so really stressful and hard fic experience, like just much more difficult than you might expect.

then of course i also wrote every relationship has its stuff. which was somewhat less difficult than nhnhnm but a lot more work, obviously. it's the longest fic i've ever posted to ao3, which isn't that long, just 10k, but it was a lot for ME.

i ended up having a lot of similar experiences working on erhis as the other two. it has a kind of similar basic premise to wink in that it's about two young people dating in [a twisted version of] a pretty normal way. erhis was actually harder in this regard because at least in wink they were kind of doing girlbestfriendisms? erhis was kind of hard to create meaningful romantic tension because jack was quite literally doing exactly what people expected of him at all times. it's hard to make it clear what he wants and what he's just doing because he assumes he's supposed to because he's literally doing what he's supposed to. the furthest he steps outside that boundary re: harper specifically is 1) lying about her to tfw in the first few scenes and 2) being into it when she gets scary.

and then of course erhis has some intensely similar themes to nhnhnm. they're both basically immediately oedipal stories. they're about how the main characters are doomed to recreate their own worst parental relationships throughout their adult lives. except erhis is more constrained than nhnhnm because i don't really bring up jack's history. (man, that was also like crazymaking. i had to keep repeating trust your audience trust your audience to myself so that i could convince myself that people would like, remember the vibe in season fourteen and get what i was doing).

i've talked about this but it was often a struggle to write the harper scenes because like. i've already talked about this above with cassie, but she's a one episode character. except with harper it's hardmode because 1) she's not the main character of the fic so i have way less opportunity to draw her out, 2) i am trying to actually make her appealing. whatever else is going on in erhis i do want it to be in some way legitimately a romance fic, so i need harper to charm both jack and the audience at least somewhat? in a way meg didn't need to in wink because in the end that's horror. she's the villain. and 3) relatedly i needed harper to be more complex than just like. evil crazygirl. i wanted her to have personality beyond that and also to be grayer than that. in the end it's important that despite the fact that jack is kind of dating a little copy of dean in a lot of ways, he's also kind of getting his freedom through doing that. it's more complex than plain replication and it is a place where jack has power in his life. despite how much dating harper replicates his formative household lol. and i also, like nhnhnm and unlike wink, wanted there to be a degree of mutuality. as much as jack is the guy that went on a second date with the girl who kidnapped him for a first one, harper is the girl who went on a third date with the guy who infodumped to her about killing people with guns for a second date. as much as there is a specific kind of toxicity coming from harper that jack is specifically drawn to because it reminds him of dean, they are both the children of serial killer dynasties and there is a kind of sick innocence to their mutual derangement. neither of them really comprehend the idea that it's bad to kill people on an intellectual level, even as both of them exhibit visceral disturbance reactions to the reality of violence.

anyway writing harper and jack-and-harper was often a struggle. i frequently found myself feeling like the scenes between jack and his dads were tasty little treats to keep me going between the scenes of jack alone in his room or interacting with harper, which were a lot harder. like sam, dean, and cas are all rocks to throw at jack and i know them very well. i couldn't let harper just be a rock to throw at jack she needed her own stuff going on. also this was kind of a low conflict fic.

i want to compare it to i fold in half so easily, because there's definitely a similar vibe there in terms of a quiet domestic holding pattern fic where it's mostly about underlying sickness in relationships, but things are way more understated in erhis, for a lot of reasons. one is that the primary source of rock throwing and the love interest are, y'know, different, so you can't just have every love scene double as a rock throwing scene, lol. another is that i've, y'know, become a better writer. i look back on ifihse and it feels overblown and obvious in a way that makes me cringe, as much as i have a lot of affection for it. so i wanted to be subtler. and then of course there's the fact that in a destiel fic you expect dean dean to be a good guy, you know? he gets some benefit of the doubt. so there is some complexity lent there by virtue of him being the main character of supernatural. but harper is less the villain of erhis than dean is of ifihse, and harper is a minor, one episode villain in the show. she's exactly the type of character a fanfic writer would cast as unequivocally evil. so i had to work harder to avoid that assumption, you know?

anyway that's the new thing i did this year.

22. An idea you had that didn’t make the cut

this is hard because generally speaking an idea hasn't "failed to make the cut" until i've forgotten it, it's just been postponed. however, squeeze, which reached its final incarnation this year when i published it as a fluffy normie destiel smut fic, started out its life as this fic. the one i posted about in 2021 where i was like imagine if it was established destiel but cas told dean he'd watched dean and lisa fuck. but i just couldn't make it work so that fic it still in the pipeline.