#femorafreack

[spiralingguitarist]

canwc but i and our caliborn are stuck in our corrupted homes (im stuck in my home post-sburb entry and hes stuck in a crudely drawn felt manor frozen in a time before the INTERMISHIN' happened) and were trying to gnaw our way out before its too late. he uses his weird evil lord of time powers to change things and bend the timeline and i, who has become a muse of mind, am trying to do an universal mindey thing to turn everyone "back" to normal. weve been talking to each other for like a month readying up to fuse our powers together and end this nightmare already but hecka jef and femorafreack and everyone else are just so bent on keeping things as they are theyre comstantly thwarting and sabotaging and ruining our plans to the point in the end we get nothing done and resign to a horseshitty life of suffering and infuriation

[mspaintundertale]

SEASON 2

(send in requests now)

[judgesabo]

Player 4 Theory

Cool and New Web Comic is a story about “4 kids habv play a game to make a unaverse and some other thigns hapen too.” Naturally, we all assumed at first that this would be the B1 kids from Homestuck, or at least their corrupted forms, but this is clearly false, as Dabe is out. Instead we now have Jhon Ebgret, Rose Lalonde, Hecka Jef, and someone else.

o has been taunting us for a while about player 4′s real identity. This is very abnormal to say the least, even by CaNWC standards, as we are now three acts in and we still don’t know who our fourth main character even is. He’s been able to get away with this thanks to the unique Sburb system he’s introduced into CaNWC. Jhon Ebgret was able to join seemingly without a server player at all using the “RollerCoaster Tycoon mode” of Sburb, and player four is likely to join by some equally contrived method.

This leaves several possible candidates for our new mysterious character. I’ve held off on making this theory until we have more solid information, and that... hasn’t changed. We still have very little.

So here it is.

Germy / The Big Man

Jhon, Rose, and Hecka Jef were all created through the process of ectobiology, so it would make sense for player 4 to have been created in a similar way. /u/MaidofMemes created a family tree to demonstrate these characters relations, shown above.

Of these possibilities, only one group doesn’t have a player, the far left. If we eliminate Femorafreack, Dadd, and Obana as ancestors, that leaves us with Germy and Big Man.

Both of these candidates face some problems though.

Germy prototyped himself and became Hecka Jef’s sprite, so he is less likely to be a player now. Granted, Aradia prototyped herself, so there’s nothing against the rules for players doing this, although she did it for her own kernelsprite.

Still, Germy seems to be fairly dedicated to his duty as a sprite, and certainly isn’t taking any initiative to abandon this and become a player, and now that he’s been prototytped with WQ and Fresh Jimmy, it seems even less likely.

The Big Man works as a candidate, but the problem is he doesn’t seem to be in the session itself. What happened to Big Man is actually quite the mystery. As a baby, he went through the same defense portal as Dabe’s Bro and Swet Bro’s Momi, which should make him an adult and therefore not one of the four kids. Considering Hecka Jef is a fan of him as an athlete,  this is almost certainly still the case. Although, if he is now hundreds of years into the earth’s future, he’s no doubt done some time traveling, so it’s possible he’s still a kid. However, now that he’s missing his right leg, this is certainly after his basketball career. Big Man is more likely to be involved in Caliborn’s story, considering his missing right leg and his connection with Lil Cal.

Each candidate also faces the problem of not being female. Although not an official stated rule of Sburb, every session in Homestuck seen so far appears to try to maintain an equal number of male and female players. The A1 and A2 troll session have 6 males and 6 females , the B1 and B2 kids sessions had 2 males and 2 females, and the Cherub session had 1 male and 1 female.

On the other hand, if Sburb is really focused on “balance” in general, Germy or Big Man might be picked so we would have two characters from Homestuck and two from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

It is also not necessary that Player 4 have been created through ectobiology. Caliborn and Calliope were created through the natural cherub reproduction process, being born from an egg. It’s therefore entirely possible that Player 4 was not created by Dadd at all.

Swet Bro’s Momi

We know very little about Swet Bro’s Momi, even whether that’s the official name we’re going with, so she stands as a possibility. Like Germy and Big Man, she would work as a second SBaHJ character to balance out the player list, but would also work as the second female player.

The fact that she’s an ancestor instead of a descendant is a fairly strong point against her, but the entire ectobiology process for Hecka Jef is pretty messed up to begin with.

BEAUTIFUL WONAN

I don’t know. Why not.

Jaed

Jade was of course the player 4 of Homestuck, so she seems like a natural choice. She would also work as the second female player, but her role as the crucial space player has been replaced by Rose. Now that she’s Quen of Prostit, she’s also got a solid role in the story. She’s likely to keep this position for a little while longer, at least until Blapck Quen or Germysprit comes to take it.

Swet Bro

Death is usually just a minor, temporary inconvenience in Homestuck. Swet Bro actually has a fairly close parallel position to Jhon. It’s unclear how Jhon became a member of this 4 player session with a server player. Likely it’s either because he (1) connected to Rose before and disconnected, or (2) he started playing within the session. If it’s the former, then Swet Bro would be the logical candidate, as he was going to play with Hecka Jef. If it’s the latter, he’s out of luck. All the more so now that both sprites have been fully prototyped. His death is probably too important a plot point to simply overturn like that too.

Kanaya Maryam / Caliborn

The reasons for and against Kanaya should be immediately obvious. She would balance out the gender ratio, and will certainly be working with Rose from here on. The fact that she’s not only not human though, but already a member of an entirely different session is a solid argument against her. CaNWC has opened the doors for lots of different characters, as should be obvious by now, so Kanaya might not be entirely dismissed on these grounds, but it would be very awkward to say the least.

Caliborn similarly would be very hard to get in. From the look of the Felt, he is going to be normal too (assuming he is still Lord English), but who can say how that will affect his motives. Would he actually enjoy living in Homosuck? We’ll have to see.

At this point we could basically just start guessing every single character that exists. Germy seems like the one who at least fits the pattern of everyone else the most, but even the best case then is fairly strange. Seeing as how it’s being teased, it’s almost certainly going to be some huge unexpected twist though, maybe even some character that hasn’t been properly introduced yet.

the squirrel... has his game

Okay, that’s enough.

[mspaintundertale]

The End. 

[mspaintundertale]

Friskcest

the friskcest

[mspaintundertale]

Sans X that cop

sans x femorafreack

[judgesabo]

Judge’s Masterpost

This is a post to keep track of my various Cool and New Web Comic theories and posts, as well as any other fandom related theories I may or may not develop. I will update it accordingly as new theories come out.

Cool and New Wiki

A wiki I made for all canonical CaNWC information.

Heavily inspired by the MSPA Wiki.

Classpect Analysis

I predict that Rose will be the Lord of Space and try to analyze what this says about her and Hecka Jef’s role in the stories. Hecka Jef guides other characters to advance the plot, indirectly causing major events, while Rose will conquer creation by fighting the corruption.

Who is o?

I discuss the in-comic identity of o, who he is and who he isn’t, favoring the argument that he is a future Hecka Jef.

Corruption Theory

I present the idea that the shittiness of this universe is actually its natural state, and normal characters have actually been “enhanced”.

Troll Theory

I argue that because Bec Noir doesn’t exist, the trolls never ran to hide in the meteor, leaving each one in their hive. However, things were different even before this, as Vrasky never died and rose to god tier. I also speculate on why Kanaya didn’t seem to notice the corruption, tying this into the enhancement theory that they slowly become aware of it while they shift.

Troll Theory 2

I argue that Vrasky and Eridan, or Feferi and Nepeta are the two trolls most likely to not be players. I suggest that the Ultimate Reward door in Lord English’s vault is either an exit to Alternia from the troll session, or the troll’s own door, stolen from them, leaving them stranded. I speculate on why the Blapck Quen didn’t become Snowman.

Covers new information gained between Bunnie Time to the end of the Intermishin’.

Why do people like CaNWC?

I analyze the basic appeal of Cool and New Web Comic.

Are Dadd, Femorafreack, and Momi blind?

After Dadd said he was blind, I analyzed the implications this had on other characters, mainly Femorafreack. I suggest he might have a connection to Terezi, and suggest that Germysprit and Terezi might get shipped.

Player 4 Theory

I explain a theory of the real identity of Player 4, or more accurately, explain why I have no idea who player 4 is and go over the pros and cons of the candidates.

A Year of Theory

My one year anniversary post. Here I give an update on my previous classpect and troll theories, and give a new analysis of the Boss of Wheels classpect, new information on the trolls, Rose’s time powers, and the identity of the Demons of Color and Darkness.

[judgesabo]

Are Dadd, Femorafreack, and Momi blind?

{s]every one; enter dadd: investigaet meteor

you try to look aroud but you cant see any things because you loosed youre face many a years ago in a tragic face accidant

So this post will be a bit more speculative than usual, but I wish to raise the possibility.

According to the panel shown above, Dadd is explicitly stated to be blind because of his lack of face. So in most comics, this would be a settled question. Yes, Dadd and everyone else who suffer such face accidents are blind. For CaNWC, it’s less clear.

o is very strict about maintaining canon, even with jokes, as the “face accident” itself should prove. What was once an off-hand comment or joke was made a real plot point. If we are to believe that these characters have all been blind though, it raises a few questions and answers some others. Not everything fits. As per usual though, if these characters really are blind, then that just becomes part of the joke.

For Dadd himself, there seem to be two main inconsistencies if he is blind.

Firstly, both Dadd and Femorafreack can drive, something that would presumably be impossible and/or illegal for them to do if they were really blind. Femorafreack especially should be thought to always be obeying the law.

Femorafreack also seems to be able to see to some extent. Literally the first thing he does is comment on how nice Dadd’s lawn looks except for “all this red stuff”, which he pulls out a magnifying glass to identify.

Similarly, he’s able to identify Germy’s “redwashing” when he was prototyped.

In spite of these instances however, Femorafreack does seem to be at least somewhat visually impaired.

When femorafreack was offered a bug for sale, he was struck with indecision between the purple and blue one, and when Germy suggested he pick the purple one, he picked the blue one by mistake.

Femorafreack is also consistently a poor shot. He completely miss Jhon in {s]every one; enter and he blames missing the Bug Stand Man on his gun not being for “LONG RANGS”, yet Dabe was able to use this exact same gun to kill Fresh Jimmy.

Momi also seems perfectly capable of sight honestly. She was at least competent enough to spot Jack’s ship as it was coming to crush Rose.

Honestly, if it were not for that one line from Dadd, it seems like the possibility of these characters being blind wouldn’t even come up, but since it has we would be remiss if we did not consider how this might connect to our other blind character with a special love for red things.

We know that the trolls have been in contact with the humans for quite a while, at least long enough for Jhon to consider Vrasky his daddy. It doesn’t seem too far fetched to think that “Terezi” taught her smell-based vision system to some of the humans.  Why would Terezi do this though?

My thinking is that she holds flushed feelings for either Femorafreack or Germysprit. Femorafreack is a just, upstanding, well dressed officer of the law. As his deputy, Germysprit is also a man of justice who also happens to be almost entirely red.

Might be a solid ship down the line.