#feminism for men

[uncle-fruity]

I think part of the issue is that when I say that men have issues that also need to be talked about, I am talking about the full system of oppression and the role the patriarchy plays within that system of oppression, and how those things impact men & boys for better or worse.

When I say that men & boys need a place within feminism to focus on their issues from a feminist perspective, I am saying so because understanding the full picture is vital to defeating the Patriarchy, not because I think men need to be centered in every conversation. Even if we went to the extreme point of view that men aren't suffering in any way from our current system, we would need to listen to the experiences of men & boys and include their needs when we work to reform the structure of our society. Any failure to consider half the population while building a safer, fairer, more compassionate society is not just a minor fuck up, but rather a massive oversight that *will* lead to the failure of that goal.

The reason I am so adamant about not dehumanizing *any* group of people for *any* reason *ever* is because that becomes a very dangerous tool for the actual oppressors who cannot let us form unified communities against them. The more we know about each other, the more we care about each other, the more we see each other as humans -- the more the oppressors struggle to keep us fighting amongst ourselves and not fighting them. This was one of the major motivators behind the assassination of Fred Hampton, who did incredible work in bringing gay liberation and civil rights groups together, and made each of those movements stronger for it. One reason the internet is such an effective tool for radicalization is that it already has a layer of dehumanization built in, in that it's easy to forget you're speaking to another real human, especially when emotions are running high. So it is critical that we are vigilant about our own ability to dehumanize people (especially on the internet), our personal biases that can provide targets for that dehumanizing, and then work against those tendencies even when they only manifest in small ways (for example, as a joke).

This is not a pissing contest to me. I'm not concerned with being The Most Oppressed Ever, and I am not interested in diluting or misrepresenting the pain and systemic issues of any other group of people. I want everyone to have their say, to speak for themselves and to be believed that they are experts about their own experiences & lives. If anything, I believe in radical inclusion, and only draw the line at bad faith, hateful rhetoric meant to further the exclusion and abuse of other people. And even then, I think people who are hateful and hurting and trying to blame it on other people still need a place to talk through those emotions -- just, in a different, more targeted & personalized conversation. The broader social justice movement is not the appropriate place to publicly work through hate & anger & bigotry on a personal level.

All in all, we are ALL part of this system whether you like it or not. Everyone who exists is impacted in one way or another by the systems we have in place. And if we want to be serious about working against abusive systems, we need to start by listening and speaking in good faith, and by rejecting abusive patterns within our communities.

[tofumarinado]

"feeling unsafe at night is something no man could ever understand"

black men beg to differ

brown men beg to differ

aapi men beg to differ

autistic men beg to differ

gay men beg to differ

trans men beg to differ

[heterorealism]

[shonayee]

Men masturbate to shit that would be considered an actual fucking crime in literally any other context outside of porn and then act like that has no influence whatsoever on how they view and interact with women.

[everythingmcu]

“THANK YOU RYAN REYNOLDS” WE ALL SHOUT IN UNISON

[genderqueerdykes]

i just remembered that back in elementary and high school, i was friends with a lot of guys and most of them were boy scouts. we were such a tight knit group that it sucked that i was getting left out of things that they wanted me to be a part of. these were all cishet identifying boys at the time, and because i was expressing that i wished i could be in scouts with them, they actually went to their scout leader on my behalf to ask if i could be let in even though i was a "girl". they didn't see me as any different than them. they didn't understand why i couldn't be a part of it.

if you ask me, that's all the proof anyone needs that transphobia & misogyny are learned, not innate. these boys were not old enough to have it drilled into their head at "girls" can't do things that boys "can". they were too young to understand that a "girl" wanting to be masc and seen as a boy could ever be a "bad thing". they saw me as one of the boys. it was never questioned. i actually visited all of these friends after i transitioned and started T and none of them had issues.

they always saw me as one of the boys, to the point of fighting on my behalf to try to get me accepted into their boyscout troop. transphobia, misogyny, and all of these other forms of hatred are learned. not innate. don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking that boys and men are inherently hateful. they're not

[von2dutch]

[phantomrose96]

The realest part of the Barbie Movie was when Barbie was like "okay but what if this hurts his feelings? what if this makes him sad? :(" after Ken stole her house, stole her car, and stole her agency, because as a woman you still have to second guess everything you do on the assessment of whether it might hurt a man's feelings.

And then that apprehension was proven right one million times over by the entire Conservative Internet Manosphere pissing and shitting and screaming themselves hoarse over Barbie daring to hurt a man's feelings.

[radykalny-feminizm]

I love to see the general public finally waking tf up

Guess what group has been talking about all these things for years and was demonized, shamed and threatend for it 🤔

[babydefendorsweets]

FOR YOUR PEGGING SESSION

DM MISTRESS ON ZANGI

1046744825

Telegram; @Anastasiaprettygooddess

[hamoodmood]

[aalexan]

seeing women come out as nonbinary and then start just dressing a certain way. and I just want to tell them that you can not shave and have short hair and not wear makeup and wear androgynous clothes and still be a woman. and the fact that people are trying to sell you the idea that you can’t look that way and still be a woman is misogynistic

[heterorealism]

Truck comes first and if there is any money left over the kids may eat. - Modern Consumer Patriarchy

[limerence-leftovers]

I know two men who are currently single. One is 26, and the other is 38.

I’ve spoken with both of them at length about what they want in a woman, seeing as they’re cishet and white.

They both immediately went for physical attributes. Thin, but needs to have a nice butt. Boobs can’t be too big. One likes short hair, the other likes long hair. They also went into facial features for some reason. That was the part that made me really uncomfortable as I hadn’t expected either of them to have been that focused on appearances.

Aesthetics came next. Both want ‘alt goth / witchy’ women. It should be worth noting both of these men said their potential partner can’t wear too much makeup.

Lastly came personality and interests. They both said this is the most important thing to them, but they also ‘have to be pretty’. Oh, and they need to listen.

I have some single ladies I’ve also spoken with.

It’s the opposite. They rarely care about looks. It’s about chemistry, emotional connection, feeling safe, and sharing common goals / ideals.

While I know it’s not ‘all men’ it sure as fuck is a lot of you. Also both of these men think they’re part of the ‘good cishet white liberal men’ who voted for Kamala, despite one of them not voting at all.

He’s the 38 year old. To make things worse, he’s trying to date a 24 year old. 🤷‍♀️ His criteria for a potential partner was also under the age of 30 because it means less baggage and they’re still ‘fun to be around’.

You don’t want to know what he doesn’t bring to the table. Either of them, rather. 😅

We do have a male loneliness epidemic, but it’s not women’s fault. We don’t owe you anything. We’re not vending machines you put tokens into and get sex out of. Male culture made by men and perpetuated by men has made men this way. And it’s your job as men to fix it, not point the finger at us and say it’s our fault for not wanting to be with you. Some of us like myself want to actually HELP you, but you guys rarely want to listen. You instead want to complain to us about our gender and how unfair we’re being by not giving you a chance.

We don’t owe you anything.

On January 20th, 2025 and forward, they’re going to try to take our rights. They may succeed.

Men have to take from us because they’ve gaslit themselves into seeing us as the enemy, despite having driven us away by their own actions centered around self interest.

“It’s not all men. But it sure is a lot of you.”

[deathtokillian]

“Your body MY choice”

My knife YOUR life

[genderqueerdykes]

trans men and transmascs do not deserve to be misgendered for any reason. don't let people do that you to. it's still transphobia no matter how much someone hates men. stop thinking about filming catty tiktoks and instagram reels and writing rude, exclusionist and violent text posts about how it's okay to misgender trans men to farm likes, engagement and comments on social media.

don't care if this rhetoric is popular right now. that doesn't make it right.