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zevzevarainai · 4 years ago

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Hey! You ever end up doing essay on the kazumaji gifs? (I'm highly interested because it's always majima o' clock where I live)

it’s always majima o’clock here too; maybe we live in the same area... but lmao i didnt write the essay on my kazumaji gifs because i didnt think anyone would want to hear it so i meant it more as a per request kind of deal. and you’re requesting. I want you to know you did this to yourself, my friend

below the read more for everyone’s well being. welcome to my first official majima analysis essay

ok so in those tags i said something like majima is softest with kiryu because it is absolutely the truth (unless you count makoto, which i love them too, but majima has moved on or at least is making an effort to. and that was pre-tacky snake skin jacket and pre-mad dog persona.)

the prompt for the gifset was “maybe something about majima being stupid and unhinged but like, in a sweet way” and the whole point of this rambling is that kiryu is really the only one we see who causes the mad-dog persona to slip. kiryu says he can never get a read on majima but just because he is unpredictable doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand that he isn’t just batshit crazy. he trusts majima, and finds comfort in his lack of predictability, keeping kiryu’s life exciting and providing distraction from the insane amount of tragic shit that happens to kiryu. and majima has a similar experience of idolizing the yakuza lifestyle as teens/young adults only to have the yakuza drag them through hell. But this is supposed to be about Majima.

ANYWAY what GETS ME is again that mad-dog vibe slipping around kiryu. the only time we really only see it again is with Saejima when he comes back from jail. i’m gonna talk about that later too. LET’s GET TO THE GIFS i’m going in chronological order not the order i put them in

Ok so as an audience, we don’t really know what happened between Kiryu and Majima between Yakuza Zero and Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami. Yes, we get that tiny ending scene of Majima going KIRYU-CHAN for the first time and Kiryu smiling at him. But we are given nothing as to how they met or why Majima started calling him Kiryu-chan. It is left completely to the audience’s interpretation. Because then it goes straight to the first scene with Majima in Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami after Kiryu gets out of jail. It implies that they already knew each other, and arguably that they were somewhat close -- close enough for Majima to “miss him.” (What was majima doing for those 10 years, i don’t know, but he clearly wasn’t in a great place, missing both kiryu, makoto, and saejima, we ignore y5 lore in this household or make up shit to fill in the giant gaps) You could argue that Majima missing Kiryu is just Majima being “crazy haha woah” but his character is so much deeper than that, and it’s proven in this gif’s scene. Yes he is fighting Kiryu with all his men. But if you are reading this you understand that them fighting physically all the time is a secret love language. They never intend to severely hurt each other. Fighting is how they know that they have an equal, someone else who was modeled into a weapon because of the Tojo Clan.

And yes, “He belongs to me!” is an extremely gay thing to say. He doesn’t even need to say that, though. One of his men didn’t understand that he doesn’t actually want to hurt Kiryu. The guy picked up Majima’s knife and tried to actually hurt Kiryu. Majima willingly gets stabbed so Kiryu doesn’t get hurt. That’s a handful of gay subtext right there. Majima’s first scene in y1 is about how the world is a horrible, shitty place that will chew you up and spit you out if you care. Then he goes and gets stabbed. Self-sacrificially. He cares about Kiryu, even if it hurts.

This one isn’t as deep. It stems of the same concept of them fighting each other as equals. Majima explicitly says more than once that strength is the most admirable trait, Goromi says that it only matters that a man is strong. Kiryu is the only person who presents a challenge to him. He admires him.

(As a disclaimer, I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with Goromi. I’ve also seen a lot of non-binary, gender-fluid, etc. people project on Goromi and Majima, and I feel like that can only be a good thing. Obviously they deserve more and more quality representation. I think the people who dislike Goromi are valid as well, but for the sake of this argument we are going to see Goromi as the people who project on her do and I’m going to use she/her pronouns when talking about Goromi.)

Regardless on your stance on this whole little side quest, the player has the choice to go along with Goromi which creates actually a lot of subtle connecting between the two of them. Even in just talking to her, we see the mad-dog mask slip. She talks about how much she cared about the girls at Club Shine and wonders how they’re doing. Literally says “all part of my tragic-ass backstory.” And Kiryu sympathizes with it. Says he sees through the “i hated it” bullshit and sees Majima/Goromi’s true self, which is that the cabaret job was hard for Majima because he cared about the women and didn’t like using them as a source of income and knew it would be his fault if they got hurt.

Also, Goromi says that "When I’m with a guy, it’s all about if I’m having enough fun. That’s why he’s gotta be strong.” Sound like someone we know? Someone who we are talking about in the last gif with i-just-got-the-shit-beat-out-of-me-and-it-was-awesome bliss on his face?

Anyway, the scene in the gif is near the end of the session. Kiryu is talking about how he’s been in prison for 10 years, and Goromi says that now that he’s out he should try to relax and and a little fun. Arguably, “since you’re so lonely right now, I’m gonna give ya a hand!” is most of Majima’s role in YK1. Kiryu gets out of prison. Majima wants to fight him all the time and says it’s because he’s gone soft and needs to train. Majima Everywhere presents excitement in his life when everything else is hard and shitty and traumatizing. Yes, Majima kidnapped Haruka. But there isn’t a lot of info on that. Majima says he did it so they could fight but it very likely could have been an order from the Tojo Clan or even Nishiki. Until he develops a bond with Haruka, Majima is, in a way, all he has. Nishiki is mean now. Yumi is ???. Kazama is i don’t even remember but he certainly isn’t any emotional support. He’s lonely. Majima is the only person he has from before prison, and quite possibly the only person who understands what he is going through.

YK2, Kiryu has yeeted out of Majima’s life as Kiryu does, but he’s trying to protect haruka so I’ll let it slide. And what does Majima do now that Kiryu’s not there? Leaves the Tojo Clan. Yes it’s because he doesn’t like the 5th chairman’s style and to make up for Kawamura, but the point is he’s bored. The use of “MY Kiryu-chan” is obviously written there because “haha majima he’s crazyyy” but come on. Majima left the Tojo Clan after Kiryu stepped down as the 4th chairman. Because he was bored. Because he couldn’t trust his own men. The only person he considered an equal just wasn’t there anymore and he found it difficult to adjust. (That’s YEARNING, fellas)

So yes, HIS Kiryu-chan came home, but what is home in this context? It clearly isn’t the tojo clan, so I guess it could be Kamurocho in general. But if the clan doesn’t make it home, what does make it home? Perhaps a certain triangle shaped man??

Oh boy silly Majima wants to fight Kiryu again hahaha weeeeeeeee NO listen, LISTEN, he does want to fight kiryu again, because 1) the man has been bored for a year 2) FIGHTING IS THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE 3) Majima is once again surprising Kiryu in a world where nothing surprises him anymore, where kiryu expects people to be vile and only want him for gain. Every single goddamn game it’s “Kiryu plz save the Tojo Clan plz” and Kiryu NEVER gets anything in return unless you count, i don’t know, Daigo and Haruka’s safety? But Majima doesn’t give a shit about any of that. Majima is one of the only people who consistently does things for Kiryu (even if they’re presented in an abnormal way). Majima is really the only one who makes sacrifices for Kiryu. But this fight, it kicks off YK2 of “hey, i missed you but i won’t admit it because we’re manly yakuza, please let me try to make you smile.”

THE kazumaji scene. Going off of Majima being the only one to make sacrifices for Kiryu, here’s a perfect example. Majima first aids the Tojo Clan which he swore to leave literally only because Kiryu asked him to. Then, here, he get beaten within an inch of his life because he promised Kiryu he would protect Kamurocho from Ryuji. Majima does not give a shit about the Tojo Clan at this point. Yes, Majima LOVEEESSSS beating people up, but he’s fatally wounded. This is not a Majima who would die for the Tojo Clan. This is a Majima willing to die for Kiryu. After warning Kiryu about being to trusting, too.

And of course, we get the Majima collapsing on the pavement and Kiryu rushing in to CRADLE him in his arms like a damn fanfic. You’ve even got the “I did it for you” which everyone knows is basically an “I love you.” Look at Majima’s face in the gif. Bless the Kiwami 2 graphics, first of all. He’s looking at Kiryu like he wants him to be the last thing he sees, like he wants him to know that he’s going out for Kiryu, that despite the fact that he’s about to cough up blood he needs Kiryu to have the information he needs to save the clan and Kamurocho. He’s telling Kiryu all this with labored breath because he promised. Kiryu “One-Expression” Kazuma is viably worried as hell, the little nod in the gif kills me because Kiryu needs him to know he’s touched and he’s so grateful. The only reason Kiryu left him was because there was danger elsewhere and he trusts Kaoru enough to take care of him. (Side note: I love Kaoru Sayama, but I still feel like she’s good enough a character on her own and doesn’t need to be a romantic interest for Kiryu. Like it was like oh... she’s Girl so she needs to fall for the Big Strong Male Protag.... If Majima was a cis girl they would have made out in this game, maybe even y1.)

7) Speaking of sacrifices, Yakuza 3, the game where Majima literally joined the Tojo Clan again because Kiryu wanted him to protect Daigo. That’s a huge lifestyle change, Majima.

Yes, this scene is funny because Majima is riding in a Barbie-ass truck like a 15 year old driving on a learner’s permit in a downpour (yet proves he can drive stick seconds later) and thinks he hit Kiryu while he purposely hit everyone else. Look, Majima needs this ok y3 he looks like he’s been crying since kiryu left no one No One is going to hurt Kiryu now

That truck is likely stolen, he’s driving erratically as fast as he can because Kiryu is in danger, how did he even know that Kiryu was in danger is it like some kind of 6th sense... If you didn’t already know, I would take a bullet for Majima’s voice actor; his delivery of “Kiryu-chan! Where are you?!” could have just been like haha oops kiryu did i hit you ;3 but instead it’s this raw cry of genuine panic, like did his actions get kiryu hurt, Majima could not live with himself if he was the reason Kiryu got fatally hurt

8) Ok I’ve hinted at the fact that I have beef with the Hot Mess that is yakuza 5, wasn’t huge on Y4 and Y6 was fine but it was heavily based on the events of Y5. In my head I’ve got an entire fix-it fanfic in which Majima yeets out to Okinawa with Kiryu after Y3 I could write that upon request too ANYWAY here’s another sacrificial majima...

Despite not caring for Y5, THIS SCENE is RAW. Maybe he’s not super “unhinged” in this scene but it’s just so much. Majima, who Kiryu brokedown in his taxi bc he thought he got killed (because Kiryu made him stay in the tojo clan haha we’re out here crying), chooses Kiryu over Saejima. Saejima, Majima’s oath brother, Saejima. We love Saejima, Majima loves Saejima, but 25 years is a long ass time. Majima changed. Saejima changed. For awhile he had Makoto, but then Kiryu was all Majima had for a good chunk of Saejima’s time in prison. This is the man Majima got his eye stabbed out for defending. But the BaD GuYs that arent memorable enough for me to even look up the names of are like look, we want to watch the world burn because we are Bad Guys, so either you are going to fight your brother to the death or we are going to snipe Kiryu’s daughter in the fucking head. Obviously he doesn’t know that Baba is going to betray them, so he has to pick between Saejima and Haruka. He chooses to potentially kill Saejima for Kiryu’s happiness. I’m sure if things didn’t change, Majima would have held back and let Saejima kill him. Majima would rather die than see Kiryu in pain. Majima would rather kill Saejima/let Saejima kill him than let Haruka die. If that’s not a giant declaration of unconditional love and devotion, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Anyway, thanks so much for indulging me and listening to my yakuza opinions if you made it this far you the mvp :’’’’)

#i can't believe i sat down and wrote this monster #thank you so much for the ask #i love talking about majima and i have no one to discuss it with #distinguishedkingdomwolf #ask #kazumaji

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inazumafocus · 5 years ago

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What does your ship says about you

Here we are with some funny memes, everything is done to lightly make fun of the exaggerated version of the ships so no hate here. Hope this will steal a few laughs out of you~

Kdfd: you sniff the “enemies to friends to lovers” trope like its the best kind of heroine and now your life is a mess. Also since you like smth popular you are apparently stealing the spotlight to other people, but irony aside, you’re a very loud one about what you love.

Enkaze: you tell everyone you’re here for the fluff and cozy friends to lovers but you’re actually after the angst juice like a bee with pollen. Also you’re the mom friend of your group or any group for what matters.

Tatsumido: you’re out there doing God’s work and bringing life and prosperity to all. Keep at it good fella and don’t eat too much fruit flavoured ice cream while you try to distract yourself from your crippling anxiety.

Somefubu: let’s keep this short, you have the softest heart but you wanna fuck furries or dragons, 20pt to Slytherin if you wanna do both.

Gensaku: you are that one friend everybody likes but never gets invited to parties for some reason- there’s also an 8 out of 10 possibility you might grow into liking some shady kink in the nearest future (if you don’t already).

Tsunatachi: you are the actual sun and nobody deserves you but everybody needs you.

Goufubu: you took too literally the old saying “if he hits you he likes you” from when you were growing up, but you’re one of the softest bitch on the block, just wanting to hold hands and not understand what flirting means.

Someatsu: if you don’t know what a kismesis is your life is slighter less messy than I thought but you should go check that out. If you do know, I see you Homestuck sucker and you’re right.

Enki: “a sorcerer and a bard try to take on a quest on their own” this would be a good joke if it wasn’t for the small detail that you know the mess they’re about to make but simply decide to let that one slide, all because you’re an “opposite alignments are hot together” kind of person.

Kisaku: remember that one person you had a crush on in middle school? The one you admired and envied a bit bc of how good they were? Good, forget it and start a new life in another country, possibly alongside few therapy sessions about your inferiority complex-

Entatsu: I know you meant good when you kept tabs of all your crush’s social medias and when you printed twenty picture of them to make a big ass collage and put it on your wall in a heart shaped frame, but the police is here and they’re gonna have a word with you-

Suzunagu: you took the “opposite attract each other” a lil too literally and started shipping the human torch and that ice dude from the Incredibles together. It was probably one of your first ships in the fandom because you were a 14yo thirsty for some hate sex.

Haimizu: you are either desperate for someone to pamper and babysit you or you still need to get over your “I want an edgy emo boyfriend” phase. In both case you still cry over InaPen being dead.

Haiasu: there’s a serious Florence Nightingale Syndrome going on here, aka please stop falling in love with people you think need your help to get better but only end up consuming all your life force.

Nosanishi: your favourite love trope is a foot walking all over its own private and grateful doormat.

NosaHiura: you just love bishonen who looks good next to each other.

Nishimitsu: that one episode in which they imply Nishi had followed Mitsuru around got you going for good because you just love the cop/bad guy trope and wished for some steamy make out in a closet and for Nishi to feel guilty yet undeniably attracted to Mitsuru. Also you have a size difference kink.

Nishimizu: your imagination knows no bounds I am truly impressed of how far you’d go just to have a decent, soft ship. You’re also probably a Nishikage stan and there’s a 70% chance that you do NOT like Nosaka at all, or not with your Nishi at least.

Asuhika: I’m not entirely of whom but you want for one of them to save the other from whatever shit is happening because they’re both cute and filled with light so you just HAD to ship them together to keep yourself sane in this world made of mean people. You should probably toughen up a bit sweetheart tho-

Froymitsu: the day you’ll stop mourning will be the day Level5 will give back Mitsuru. You’re a brave soldier, marching on despite having to live in the past glories of what once was. You are a hero who only wanted for both Froy and Mitsuru to keep smiling.

Hiroatsu: you’re that one starving and alone dude crawling on the ground of the fandom, licking all the frames where your baby were together even if not interacting as if they were water in the desert. You live off headcanons and spend all your money in commission for your crack pair, desperately hoping for someone to like the hundred chapters fic you wrote about them.

Haihiro: two boys chilling on their beds opposite from each other cause they’re not gay is a classic that will never die and you know it and will exploit the Heaven and Hell out of it ;)

Enaki: in the end the boy gets ends up with the childhood friend and they live happily forever after sounds like a sweet ending but it only means you’re a Freud victim and want to marry your mom.

Ennatsu: your favourite female characters are ALWAYS the tsundere ones and you’re so sure you want a gf like that but truth is you’d die after 24h of living together.

Entachi: you’re a sucker for fluffy balls of light and you’re biggest kink is probably holding hands and kisses on the cheeks.

Tobitora: at this moment you’re probably having a stroke for me even saying the ship name since the content on them is slim to none and you’ve already lost all faith in humanity to even try and comprehend how wholesome your ship is.

Goutora: you just want to fuck Gouenji, we get it, he’s amazing and you love him so much you’re already on your knees please get up.

Norinae: admit it, you just missed Enkaze too much and/or have really good taste for stable, positive and healthy relationships.

AnnaOotani: probably the only pair in the whole Ares/Orion franchise with absolutely no flaws. You have good taste and just want to live a peaceful life. Respect.

Any other lesbian ship: you’re perfect, keep up the good work, lesbians ship are the only light in this cold, dark world we call home.

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bluelilylilyblue · 5 years ago

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Jules reads cdth chapters 1-10

here is my mostly unfiltered, bordering on the slightly incomprehensible, notes/thoughts/questions/theories from my read of the first 10 chapters of call down the hawk. putting everything below that cut just in case you haven’t filtered out spoilers or you’re on mobile. anyway here is the nonsense I was spewing into my phone notes last night...

Matthew walking the ley lines/towards Cabeswater?

“The Lynch boy?” “I want the key” Old associate of niall? cause of Declan talking over that stuff in trc

that valley where the Irish cottage is sounds like Cabeswater, like the way it seems to hum and feel alive - wonder how many places like it there are in the world and if we’ll see more

so a dreamer is basically the antichrist lol

I’m gonna assume this “zed” killing org is one of the things Declan was trying to protect Ronan from in trc - they were in Ireland and Niall was from Ireland right like I’m not making that up in my head like a crazy person grasping at straws? idk y’all I didn’t do a reread- ANYWAY connection?

Matthew not driving? me too bud!

Matthew not driving because he’s failed three times? welp he is a Lynch, this is deeply unsurprising to me like Ronan is his brother (creator? dreamer dad?)

fighting about how fast/slow your sibling drives is peak relatable thank you maggie I feel seen

nightwash - black ooze (sideline I can’t decide if this is metal as hell or just gross)...related to the demon who was killing cabeswater in trk?

Ronan’s creepy dream voice reminds me of Blue and the way she feels about the stars

sidenote: I miss Blue and Gansey like a lung and every mention of them equal parts hurts me and resurrects me (lol resurrect)

the lack of silence and magic in the world is killing Ronan? causing the nightwash? oof me too bud

the voice (Bryde) warning about the “zed” killing group

Bryde another dreamer? - like Kavinsky visiting? why is he talking to Ronan? how does he know about him?

hot art forger thief lady is my new wife

UNDERGROUND BLACK MARKET??

Ronan seeing Adam for the first time from far away and STILL being like H A N D S

Ronan praying to god for Adam has my gay former catholic ass shook..like the power that has the IMPLICATIONS

Adam having imposter syndrome is so incredibly in character but like...it hurts me

Ronan daydreaming about his and Adam’s reunion is peak hopeless romantic

do Adam’s friends suck? I can’t tell yet guess i’ll wait and see

sidenote: I feel like Adam’s friends suck because I was in a similar position to Adam in high school, I grew up in an extremely wealthy area but my family didn’t have a lot of money and everyone I went to school with, even my friends, were super shitty about that and poverty in general, so poverty jokes and having to hide parts of you to fit in fucking grinds my gears cause I heard that shit DAILY

Ronan is smart, he be SMORT

Adam lying for a fresh start hurts me MORE - but like I get it...and hate it

back to thinking he is unknowable I see

“he longed for him even while holding him” fellas is that gay?

god I fuckin hope it works

moderators being a government agency cause like of course it’s a secret government agency

visionaries...wtf they just like die??? wtf

“reality is a decision” that seems like a theme that’s gonna pop up a bunch - can Ronan control how his dream things appear in the world after he’s brought them back?

so the fairy market is where Niall would sell his dreams and Declan was selling Niall’s dreams right? gotta be. is he still? is the market connected to the key?

honestly what is Fletcher thinking walking into that disaster zone? that Adam and Ronan have a very active and kinky sex life? like what other explanation can you conjure

“She had a face that looked like it was smiling even if she wasn’t smiling.” literally why is that hot and why am I already in love with her

like fishnets??? ma’am please

okay so I love them BOTH?? twins?? with even more look a-likes?? color my scared and horny

so...we thinkin dreams/dreamers/none of the above

“The bright friendliness of her voice as she snapped a cell photos of his ID was one of the more threatening things he’d ever heard.” so Jordan and Ronan are gonna get along just fineeeeee

“You are made of dreams and this world is not for you.” literally stop. I will cry.

#call down the hawk #cdth #cdth spoilers #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #jordan hennessey #declan lynch #matthew lynch #jules reads cdth #half of this is nonsense #please enjoy me only having half a braincell #shut up jules

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letstalksymphogear · 6 years ago

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Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

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hallucinosims · 6 years ago

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Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm)

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.

#get to know me tag #hall posts #saviorhide #long posts

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queen-of-hearts92 · 6 years ago

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Revue Starlight 7: Living in the state of dreaming.

Her life is a play, is a play, is a play....

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

WELL. THAT ESCULATED QUICKLY.

The tipping point is here my dudes. And it’s fucking, amazing! Absolutely incredible! Blew me out of the water! The storyboarding is amazing, the fucking music the lighting like everything is so well done I can’t believe it! I’m telling you guys, masterpiece right here!

Theres a lot to talk about regarding this episode so be prepared for a very very long post.

If you haven’t seen Revue Starlight or episode 7, TURN BACK NOW. I’m spoiling everything and you REALLY don’t want to be spoiled for this!

If you haven’t seen this show yet, please PLEASE do so! Seriously, I can’t empathis enough! Don’t ignore this holy shit! Really! Seriously! I’m screaming this from the rooftops for a good reason, this is extremely good! It’s not yuri bait, it’s not an idol anime just, for the love of god don’t ignore this series! Don’t let this slide under the radar Western anime fandom! It deserves so much better than that!

Ok now that the PSA is done, here we go!

The title and caption of this post is from the song “The State of Dreaming” by Marina and the Diamonds. It’s, pretty fitting for here for sure.

>*Daft Punk voice* One more time!

*deep breath* Alright, here we go.

We open the episode in the past, this is mostly a flashback episode. It’s March 3rd, 2018, the Starlight play is being performed and we get to see more than we ever have of the play. Claire and Flora ascend up a fuck ton of stairs to get the star together, they have to pass through seven other goddesses as they climb upwards. The seven goddesses all seemed to have tried reaching the star itself in the past but failed, and they tell Claire and Flora why they failed and to not seek the star themselves. Nana’s character refers to it as a cycle of despair. Claire and Flora make it to the top and it goes how we know it does, Flora is zapped down and Claire ascends without her. As the play ends sand (or maybe it’s supposed to be stardust) rains down from the ceiling, the audience applauds as the girls take their bows. We focus on a very happy Nana who says its bright.

Wow it looks like she just put them in a...gilded cage. *Foreshadowing intensifies*

We now go to March 5th, 2018, the play’s run is over and the girls are having an after party. We get several shots of the Venus De Milo here and throughout the episode. Junna and Sanai (head play writer in case you don’t recall) walk in front of a Venus and a small scale version of the star tower and make a speech, congratulating everybody on the play’s success. The party continues with the girls talking, taking pictures, eating, etc. We go to Nana who has her phone camera in front of her eyes, she’s taking pictures of her own.

She first takes one of Junna telling her good work, Junna gets flustered and says that this play was only the first year and they gotta prepare for next year soon. Nana then walks to Karen and Mahiru and takes their picture, Nana tells Karen she did a good job and Karen says Nana was really good too. Nana asks if Mahiru was nervous, she says she wasn’t thanks to Karen. Nana walks to Maya and Claudine congratulating them on a good job, Maya thanks her and Claudine says she did NOT lose to Maya thank you very much. Maya is like “ok let’s face off again at the next audition”. Maya then looks directly at Nana and tells her essentially that she would like to face off against her too. Nana seems confused, but no matter. Nana goes to Futaba and Kaoruko next. Futaba is like idk how to play a goddess but it worked out somehow, Kaoruko starts to tease her when they both notice Nana. The two run up to her and Futaba gives her a hug, she thanks her for helping her out during this whole play. Kaoruko also thanks her for the same reason. Mahiru and a few rando girls also thank Nana for helping them during the play production.

Karen picks up a banana muffin and comes up with Nana’s legendary nickname while Nana, Kaoruko, and Futaba are doing a message train. Karen reasons that Nana is like a banana because she’s sweet and good for everyone. Junna, who had just joined the group to get food, is confused. But Mahiru thinks the nickname is cute, Kaoruko and Futaba like it too. Kaoruko says its because Nana is tall like a banana, Futaba says its because Nana smells nice. Wow Futaba. Nana laughs, she also likes the nickname. But her laughter soon goes into crying, much to the alarm of her friends. Futaba and Kaoruko ask her what's wrong and Nana smiles and says she’s crying because she’s happy. It turns out Nana’s crying caused literally everyone at the party to notice. Nana says she’s glad she came to the school and says she’ll never forget this play. Internally Nana says she found her forever friends and her destined stage. On this day, Nana was reborn as a Stage Girl. Then we get the opening.

Ah yes, the message train. A theater kid tradition!

We jump to spring break, March 26th, 2018. All the girls but Nana and Junna leave the dorms to go home for break. They say bye to Nana, who has her camera phone in front of her eyes again, and watches everyone leave. We get a few shots in the empty dorm with Nana in the same pose, she comments that it’s very quiet with everyone gone. Nana goes back to her room, Junna is reading. Upon seeing Nana holding up her camera she’s like you’re taking pictures in our room why?? Nana responds saying that she needs to take photos of all the important moments for the next school festival. Junna asks if Nana was fine not going home, Nana is surprised by this question. Junna says she isn’t going back home until she graduates (reminder note: Junna’s parents don’t approve of her being at this school) so if Nana was just staying to look after her she probs shouldn’t. Nana smiles and, after offering udon, says she’s here because she wants to be here. Junna smiles and says yes to the udon.

Fellas is it gay if you take multiple pictures of your room mate everyday?

Now it’s a new school term, they’re second years. It’s April 9th, 2018. Nana is recording Junna finishing tying her school bow on, she’s like hey Junna got a speech for the new year? Junna is like hold on I’m the class rep I gotta not do anything embarrassing! She puts on a new pair of glasses and Nana says they are the same glasses but look like new ones. Nana and Junna go to school into their new classroom, Nana goes to the front of the room to record everyone. The girls in the class wave to her, Nana shifts to the back of the classroom.

Then, Nana realizes something is off. Mysterious creepy music plays as we see our girls and the girls in the class, Nana is doing a headcount. As the number 99 zooms slowly towards the camera Nana says two of her classmates are missing. The music cuts out, Junna tells Nana that the two girls had dropped out of school. Later Nana and Junna are in the locker room, Junna is removing the dropped out girl’s name tags from the locker. She laments that it’s sad this is the first task she got as class rep, but it’s time to move forward. Nana pauses before simply saying, yeah.

It’s now May 16th, 2018, the (regular as far as we can tell) auditions for the play have started. Nana stands in the back of the practice room with the camera in front of her eyes, through the camera screen we see Claudine declaring she’ll have a perfect victory over Tendou Maya. A picture is taken, Karen pops in declaring she’ll be Flora. Another picture is taken, Mahiru pops in saying if Karen is Flora then she’ll be Claire. The next photo adds Junna, Kaoruko, and Futaba to the mix, Kaoruko is like I’ll be in the main cast this time bitch! We go back to Nana, Maya appears next to her. Maya asks if Nana had a moment to talk after class and Nana says sure, Junna notices this exchange.

Kuro is best wingman pass it on!

And now...Now is when things start taking a turn.

Maya and Nana walk outside, Nana reminisces about the starlight play as they walk. The girls pass by several buildings, some girls are there and Nana waves to them briefly. Nana wonders if they could make the exact same play as they did last time. The music changes, Maya says that even if they have the same components as the previous play it won’t be the same. While Maya is speaking we see several other girls around the area. She continues saying that the girls (the ones who dropped out) chose their own path, with their own hardships. That sometimes there are people who can’t make it even when they try their hardest, so they leave the stage. Maya says she will challenge Nana for the main character in the play this time around. Maya tells Nana that she’s very talented so she wonders why she doesn’t step it up more. And then, after we zoom in on an empty locker, the music suddenly drops out and ALL the girls we saw earlier snap their heads up and look in the direction of the screen.

After that haunting sequence, which legit startled the fuck outta me, we go to Futaba and Kaoruko standing between two vending machines. Kaoruko is taking her time deciding something and Futaba tells her to just pick already. We go back to Nana and Maya, Maya says to Nana that if she doesn’t try to give her all and refuses to change. She will never forgive her. Nana is shocked.

Later nightmare fuel aside, the framing of this shot is so good oh man!

It’s now the evening, the sky is purple. Nana sits on a bench looking through her photos from the after party. Junna, Karen, and Mahiru come on in, they look at the photos and reminisce about the party and the play. Nana says how much she loved doing the play and the three other girls also say they loved it too. Nana wonders again if they can put on the same play, she looks at her photos fondly. Karen then is like, well I hope I can be on the stage again. She says the stage is alive and always changing, therefore it can’t be the same play at all. Junna points out they also are missing classmates hence it really isn’t possible to make the same exact play. Karen stands up on a bench, ripping open a bag of dried banana chips, and is like we’ll make a WAYY better play this year! Junna is like, you dumbass don’t stand on the bench! Karen says this is her stage now and it’s fine since she took her shoes off. Junna is exasperated. Nana tunes out of the conversation, staring at the sky.

Now Nana is in the changing room at the dorms, she’s lying down staring up at the ceiling. She wonders if they’ll be successful in creating a better play. She thinks the play they did in the past was perfect as is. And then, her phone rings with a VERY familiar ringtone. Giraffe has texted Nana for the first time, Nana thinks the giraffe is cute.

We go to Nana on a stage, a very bright stage of yellow light. Behind her is a piece of the prop star tower hanging out. Giraffe is standing in front of the real one, he greets Nana with a good evening. Giraffe asks if it was too radiant, Nana doesn’t really give an answer instead she’s like giraffe?? As Giraffe explains what a revue is, we get shots of the underground stage. It’s in ruins, the chairs are messed up, there's rust on the machines, everything is cracked and ruined to hell and back, and the whole thing is partly flooded. Or really it’s sinking. We also get a shot of the props from audition duels we’ve seen already.

Nana is confused by what Giraffe means by radiance, he explains whoever shows the most radiance will get to be Top Star. After we hear a bizarre sound we get a shot of the tiara, Giraffe says that she will stand on in the Stage of Destiny if she gets Top Star and will radiant forever as an eternal star. Nana says she isn’t interested in that. Giraffe understands, so he offers her something else. What wish she did she have then? What kind of stage would she like to stand on? He says Nana has a radiant stage inside her, one so bright that she might not even be able to reach it. Nana asks if she could choose any stage she wanted, and Giraffe is like sure just join the auditions. Nana accepts joining them.

Hm, seems legit. Nothing bad will happen here.

It then cuts to, Nana winning against Maya. Nana stands in the light looking spacey and she speaks in a robotic dead sounding tone, Maya is shocked and said “so this is your true self?” she asks what made Nana change. Nana responds by asking if it’s too bright, because it’s too bright for her. As the curtain comes down, Maya asks why she’s doing this but all Nana says is she can’t reach it. Maya tries to ask what drove her to go to this extreme but she’s cut off by the curtain falling down on her. Nana claims position zero but, she doesn’t announce her name. Instead she says again she can’t reach it because it’s too bright. We see a shot of the rankings board, Nana is at the top at number one.

In the next scene Giraffe congratulates Nana on becoming Top Star. He asks if it’s too bright. Nana says yes. Giraffe asks what stage she desired, Nana says she wants to perform the Starlight play from the previous year again. Giraffe is like, alrighty then. The tiara drops at Nana’s feet on position zero, there are bright pink lights and a buzzing sound. The script with the frog on it we’ve seen Nana with before falls from the sky and we go to black.

Never underestimate the power of fruit.

The next thing Nana knows, she’s in class. The teacher announces that they will be doing the Starlight play for their three years, the class is excited. Futaba and Kaoruko don’t know what it is. Nana is like ??? what, she turns to Junna and is like hey wtf is going on. Junna is shocked and flustered at Nana using her first name, she calls Nana by her last name. Nana stares at her shocked. She realized what just happened.

She went back in time. It went from May 25th, 2018 to April 17th, 2017. We see the Starlight play being prepared and practice while Nana reveals something else. Nana going back to the past like this, isn’t a one time thing. No, it’s been done many times before by her. Nana….has trapped everyone in a time loop.

Holy shit.

Anyways, Nana has convinced herself that being in a time loop is a good thing. She has nothing to fear, no one has to grow up and feel the pain of being alive and growing. Nana says she’ll protect everyone, she’s doing this for everyone's sake. It’s fine. Nana smiles, whole holding the script close, in the bright yellow stage under the tower prop. There's a giant box with the number 99 painted on its side behind her. We learn that every loop she fights Maya, every loop she beats her. She makes the same wish. It all starts over again. But she still can’t reach the light, it’s still too bright.

And then, one day. Something different happens.

After winning again, Nana tells the Giraffe it’s still too bright. Giraffe (standing by a sudden random tree) says he has lost count in the number of times these loops have happened but he will grant her the same wish anyways. Nana asks him, why does he do this for her. Giraffe says when a Stage Girl becomes Top Star she releases a powerful radiance, a shining stage. He wants to see that, he wants to see shining stages. But, it seems like Giraffe has gotten bored of Nana’s same stage so. Something is gonna change it, or really someone. A knife is thrown down smack in the middle of position zero at Nana’s feet. It’s Hikari’s knife. Nana is shocked, she looks up and sees Hikari’s blue cape in the tree. Hikari herself stands under the tree, staring. The scene goes to black, Nana is back at the start of her loop wondering who the fuck that was.

COME TO THIS WEIRD STAGE TREE IN 5 MINUTES FOR AN ASSWHOOPIN.

Nana’s loop continues as normal, until. Until May 14th, 2018. Nana wakes up and knows something is off right away. We see the scene from episode 1 where Karen falls off her chair, Hikari is in the hallway with her suitcase. The teacher tells the class that they are getting a new transfer student, Nana is shocked.

Nana is like holy shit this is new. We then see a bunch of lines go by, they are time loops that have happened. When I slowed it down, I counted 60 lines total. So there have been 60 time loops, each one is a year and 5 months….Nana has been doing this for 60 years.

Jesus fucking christ Nana.

We then jump back to the present, the sun is going down while the girls walk home. Haunting music plays while Nana stares out a window at Hikari. She wonders how this change even happened at all, she wonders if doing the same play for 60 years really gets boring. Geez Nana, ya think?

However, Nana says her world will never change. She says Hikari’s name, and turns creepily to the camera staring directly at it. She’ll put that girl in her play. No matter what. The episode ends.

The ending theme has no vocals.

Nana...what have you done...

>We never saw it cominnnng!

-Holy mother of fucking god. I. This. Was incredible. My mind is still blown! What an excellent twist! I love this show so fucking much! I told y’all this was something special! I fucking told you! Episode 7 proved it! They could fuck it up at the end but my gut feeling is still good! Fucking anime of the year!

--Also there were AMAZING shots in this! So much good storyboarding holy shit!

-In my episode one and five write ups I took note of the dates but at the time I said they “probably aren’t relevant”. WELL GUESS WHAT PAST ME. THEY VERY MUCH ARE RELEVANT! I picked up that the show was showing us dates but not why. Gdi.

-With time nonsense happening, I made timelines (here and here) so we can keep track of what’s going on. Will update as needed and put in future write ups as needed.

-I wanna address something real quick, a lot of people are quick to make comparisons to Madoka Magica and Homura’s time travel powers. I can see why people make that comparison but the time travel here isn’t really the same at all. Homura can start the time travel whenever she likes, sure it’s limited to going to a certain day but if say she was three days into the timeline and Homura decides to go back again she can. Nana can’t do such a thing. If Nana was three days into hers and she wanted to go back she can’t, she has to become Top Star to go back in time at all. Higurashi is a closer comparison but even that isn’t too close to Nana’s time looping either, without spoiling anything in Higurashi the length of the time loops vary and aren’t the same. It can go for many years or not. Funny I think this kind of time travel in the show is closer to the movie Groundhog's Day but instead of just one day it goes for a year lol. Another comparison I’ve seen is Steins Gate but I’ve only seen one episode of that anime so I can’t comment too much on it.

Point being here is, not all time travel is the same and often isn’t compatible to each other. Nana’s time loops continuing lies solely on being Top Star, if she didn’t become Top Star no time loop will happen. It’s not superpowered base like Homura’s is nor is it like Higurashi’s which is….uh. Let’s say why the loops are happening are much more complicated than either of these shows. So, let’s stop saying Nana is pulling a Homura cause she isn’t (Homura also isn’t the first time traveler in fiction you guys, you can use other comparisons). Don’t mislead people into thinking it works like Madoka Magica’s ok? Ok.

-I feel silly now that I worked out the possible ranks in episode 5 cause as it turns out the ranking board is a lie and doesn’t matter as much as we thought it did! Maya isn’t really in first, she’s in second. Nana is first, Nana is the strongest of all of them. This means that poor Kuro is actually in third place, ouch. If she finds that out she’ll be very unhappy about that.

-Funny, I thought how this show was gonna go was Karen blasting through everyone and then they fight the evil tiara bullshit together but now that this time loop is involved, everything has fucking change. Everything! Nice!

-Interestingly, it appears there is no visual uniform difference between the years. As in first, second, and third years all have the exact same uniform. That’s not super common in high school anime I find, it’s nifty!

-There were some differences in the ending credits this time. In the past several episodes we’ve had a character sing the ending theme Fly Me to the Star. But not here, Nana doesn’t sing fly me to the stars. It’s only the instrumentals and Nana is with Giraffe instead of either by herself or with someone. Another difference was with Hikari’s hair clip, it’s usually a hand (probs Hikari’s) reaching down and touching it. But this episode, Nana is stepping on Hikari’s hair pin. I’m sure that implies nothing bad, oh wait yes it does. Hahaha she’s gonna fucking try and kill her isn’t she? Hikari is fucking screwed. ono

Another difference lies in the background, in the previous credits there’s always items that are related to whoever is singing the song slowly falling in the background. It always includes the Starlight play script but with Nana’s it’s JUST the Starlight play script and nothing else. Yikes. The last difference is at the very end, normally it has the girl(s) who sang the song standing in the spotlight. This time it’s just the frog Starlight script in the spotlight. Both of these things show how obsessed Nana is with this play, it’s consumed her entire life and her spotlight for that matter.

-After Nana wins the duels she doesn’t declare her name when claiming position zero. That’s very very odd considering everyone who’s declared position zero says their name right afterwards. Loss of identity maybe?

-At the end of the Starlight play it rained sand on the stage just like it rained water in episode two on kuromaya stage after they fight. Not sure what this means yet, instead it brings something else to mind.

-This series uses and brings up water a lot! There is several bodies of water on the campus, it’s raining after Karen’s duel with Maya and this reflection happens, it’s raining at the end of the kuromaya fight, the whole damn stage is surrounded by water, Hikari goes to aquariums in episode 4, swans are aquatic birds, we see the stage flooded in the past, and of course there is the goddess Aphrodite’s connection with water. She was born out of the ocean, you could even say she was reborn since she came from a nutsack (myths are fucking weird man). Water has a TON of symbolism behind it, it’s been used symbolically for centuries. It often symbolises birth or rebirth, cleansing yourself, purity, and there's a ton of mythos involving water and many religions practices that involve it. What’s not super known is that water as a symbol was used a lot in early sapphic literature, as were birds.

What this all means is hard to say but I think it does tie into the being reborn theme this show has. It’s a metaphorical rebirthing as we’ve seen it. Karen is reborn when she became a Stage Girl, Junna describes falling in love with theater as a child as being reborn, and Nana also refers to herself being reborn after the Starlight play after party. What being reborn really means in this show is being drastically changed by a life experience. I’m really excited to see this theme continued.

-The Venus de Milo statue makes a frequent appearance again (5 times!) and while I do think it still ties strongly to Maya there is something weird here, it seems like the statue is involved with the play somehow? It’s present at the after party, even being in front of the star tower so one would think it’s involved in the play somehow. But what? What does this statue have to do with this play? Is it cause Venus is also a star? Maybe? It’s hard to say.

-When Nana goes to the underground stage for the first time, it’s old and shitty. And flooded/sinking. Meaning this point is ground zero of when and where the duels started, it supports my idea of the stage being alive. I’ll elaborate on that point in speculation but I’ll say that the stage looking so fucked tells me it’s been a very long time since it’s been used.

--Also during these flashbacks, the Tokyo Tower isn’t in the underground stage at all. So, does this mean Hikari’s presences brought the tower there? It’s an important place for Hikari and Karen so that would make sense, the stage would have no reason to have it unless they are involved. But why? Since episode 8 looks like a focus episode on Hikari maybe we will have a better idea after that.

-Junna notices Nana and Maya talking in the practice room. I think that’s an important thing to note here cause I think Junna will be very important in getting Nana to stop the madness.

-Is the star in the tiara or the tower? Both? Or maybe the star just uses the tiara as a medium of sorts? This shit is mysterious man.

-The frog script Nana has, is it a soul gem/horcrux like thing? A timer? Can it affect reality? Looks pretty worn, I mean it has been through lots of loops. This script makes me go hmmm.

-I’m still shook by the fact Nana has kept all her friends in this gilded cage for 60 years! Nana what the fuck. Now you are probs wondering how anyone outside of the school would not notice that? I think, because Hikari and Karen went into the city, this time loop doesn’t just effect the campus it effects the city. Hell it might even effect more than the city. The whole country? The world? Like literally everywhere being time looped would match up to the lack of freaking out from outsiders. Like Nana, Nana the fuck did you do? Holy shit.

-Something I noticed right away, and got really excited, about is the fact Claire and Flora have to pass through seven gates/goddesses to get to the star. That’s just like Inanna’s myth! She had to pass through seven gates each with a gatekeeper to get into the underworld. Like holy shit that’s really cool that an Inanna has a reference again! Also the stairs were going up right? You could say, it’s a stairway to heaven? Eh? ;D

-The part when Maya and Nana are talking, we pass by all these girls. When it gets to the height of the conversation, suddenly the music stops and all the girls heads snap up and look the same direction. That scared the piss out of me! What the fuck was that?! I can’t figure it out? The best answer I got maybe is it’s something to do with the school or the stage and it didn’t like what Maya was saying? Maybe? Is this like the fighty Greek Chorus in the stage musical? Is that what happens when you get booted out from the auditions? Why did only Nana acknowledge the girls were there via waving? I?? I don’t know but that scene makes me very nervous.

--The part with Nana turning towards the camera at the end was creepy too. The shadows, the red, and the too fluid animation of her turning was all off putting but the real kicker I think is the fact she’s staring directly at the camera. Like is she talking to someone we can’t see or, is she addressing us the audience? Please no Monika I don’t wanna see anyone getting deleted.

-Right after the creepy scene with the girls all fucking pulling an Exorcist, we go to Futaba and Kaoruko talking about something seemingly unrelated. Cutting from something so intense to something so mundane seems like an odd choice right? I was stumped too at first but I figured it out! Futaba and Kaoruko are between two vending machines, one is red and one is blue. At this point in the story we’ve learned that Maya and Nana are foils to each other, I’ll elaborate on the ways they are foils later but the super short version is Maya and Nana have a conflicting way of how to see the future. Maya prefers going forward, not dwelling on the past, and so she sees the future as a good thing. Nana on the other hand is afraid of it and sees the future as something bad taking what she loves away from her. The vending machines represent that split.

When you have a scene set up to be a clear split like this then it usually indicates opposite paths or choices or in this case opposite viewpoints. Also red and blue are very often used to show opposites. This is a crossroads, do we hang on to the past or let the future come? Which direction, or vending machine, should we chose? Or will be chosen really, whoever won that first audition duel would decide what path to take. Unfortunately Nana won, and she chose the past. Now everyone is fucked.

As for why Futaba and Kaoruko were the ones in the center, it has to do with the yin and yang parallel around them we saw in episode six. While those two are in sync despite being different, Maya and Nana's views of the future cannot be in sync or coexist together. A conflict will always come. In the scene after Maya and Nana talk, the sky is purple. A combo of red and blue, or in this case a collide. This foreshadows the duel that takes place on May 25th, it’s a clashing of view points.

-It’s obvious by this point that Giraffe is not a benevolent figure, all his actions are for him and/or anyone he is working with so he can gather starlight and see shiny revues. He doesn't care about stopping Nana, he's just bored and wanted to see what would happen if everything was thrown off balance. Giraffe is the Kyubey of the situation here, the devil in dealing with the devil. All for starlight and seeing brighter revues. This isn't a revolution, it's an experiment. Seeing Giraffe as a benevolent figure is the mistake Nana made, so we the audience shouldn't trust him either. I never trusted this fucking giraffe in the first place so it doesn’t surprise me that he is pulling this shit. But, if he is a Kirin then why? What makes a Kirin turn bad like this? Hm.

-In the Starlight play gears pop up again! Mmm love the gear motif. Also wow this fucking stage is impressive, how much fucking money does this school have?! Lol.

-So the Top Star position grants wishes it seems like? Can you wish for anything or just things related to the theater? If it can cause time travel on a possible world wide scale, then what else can it fucking do? I don’t trust this Top Star wishing, nope.

-The way Giraffe was talking about starlight makes me think that yeah the system does indeed gather and/or feed off of starlight. So, is Giraffe the Starlight Gatherer? The stage itself? The mystery continues.

-During the flashback while the stage is in ruins, we see props backstage that are from previous revues. The stars from Hikari and Junna’s stage, the cat in a baseball outfit from Mahiru’s stage, a lantern from Futaba and Kaoruko’s stage, one of the glasses buildings from Junna’s stage, and Maya’s stairs and pillar and chandelier and big ass bird from her stage (geez Maya, hogging space much?). Claudine’s is there too but its not grouped with the others, it’s right over here! It’s likely not with the other ones cause IT’S A FUCKING HUGE BUILDING. Kuro goes big or goes home. But the odd thing is, the duels haven’t even started yet. So what are these doing here? Have they been, preprepared?

-So we’ve been told that if you get booted from the duels then you lose the most important thing to a Stage Girl, knowing what we know now I really wonder what the fuck that could possibly be? The other girls had to have lost in the other loops for Nana to keep winning Top Star and we don’t see what happens to them at all. Is it a thing? Is it the starlight draining theory I’ve talked about before? I don’t know like, man these loops made everything more complicated lol.

-In the credits, Nana leaning towards Hikari and she’s also right over position zero! Fuckin, that foreshadowing man! I love it!

>So, about Nana, Maya, and Hikari.

There’s so much to talk about regarding these three that they need their own section. They are very deeply involved with this time clusterfuck. And, wow who knew that Nana and Maya would end up as foils to each other? That’s fucking wild.

-Nana

Let’s start with the one who kicked all this shit off. Oh poor Nana, I really do feel for this girl. For starters I don’t think Nana is evil at all, no she’s just a scared lonely girl who’s been preyed upon by the stage. She’s made a huge mistake, making a Faustian deal with forces that she doesn’t understand, and everyone pays the price for it including her. Nana’s backstory must be really fucked up, I mean I don’t think it will go too fucked up but it will be sad as hell I bet. She probably didn’t have any friends before coming to the school and I’m betting she either has dead parents or stage parents.

If she has stage parents then they likely pushed her into being the most perfect Stage Girl, being controlling and overbearing as hell. And they treated her like crap the entire way. Maybe Nana didn’t want to come to this school at first but when she did, oh look she has freedom for the very first time in her life. Nana having these kind of parents would also parallel Maya’s who are famous stage actors, and the two of them reacted differently to the pressure placed on them during their lives. I’ll talk more about their similarities later.

So after Nana came to the school she made friends for the first time, what she did was considered good enough and she got praise and loved by others. Positive attention is something Nana likely never had before so she ended up associating love and happiness with that specific point in her life, and this caused her to grow very attached to that point in time. Nana being so love starved made her crave going back to that time, in her mind that’s the time where she’s loved and appreciated and she can’t even imagine that she can get love and appreciation outside of that specific chunk of time. Hence she clings to it hardcore, and becomes upset when being told she can’t ever go back to that time. So when offered a way to go back she jumped at the chance, not considering the consequences this will bring. After Nana said she didn’t want the power Top Star gives you, Giraffe changes his tactics and says she can choose any stage she wants. Any stage at all. And so, we ended up here.

I totally understand Nana is coming from, it’s hard to leave happy past experiences behind. To never have the same ones ever again. It’s hard to grow up and be thrown into a cold adult world. Life changing is hard, and when you grow up sad and miserable you want to cling to any happiness you can get. I very much understand why Nana keeps this time loop going. That being said however, what she’s done is a horrible thing to do to her friends and it is so incredibly selfish of her to keep it going like this.

Nana has rationalized her time looping as she’s doing it for everyone's sake, to spare them any future pain. But, just cause she thinks that doesn’t mean it’s true. Her friends never asked her to do this and I’m pretty positive they wouldn’t want to be stuck in this time loop, but Nana never asks them or considers that hey just cause you’re afraid of the future doesn’t mean you should take away other people’s choices and make the choices for them! Nana resetting any character development is also a very fucked thing to do, like for example if she did reset it like normal now that means that Mahiru never detached her self worth from Karen. Futaba and Kaoruko’s relationship issues never got resolved. Karen and Junna would never become friends. Any development Maya and Kuro would’ve gotten would be tossed out the window. Nana is taking all growth away from them every time she resets, just cause she doesn’t want anything to change.

It’s cruel, keeping them in this gilded cage and never letting anyone move forward with their life or get over their hang ups. I have a feeling the other girls are going to find out about this, the fallout will be bad. Very bad. However at this point Nana is pretty overpowered with starlight and 60 years of experience, she won’t be easy to beat. The starlight itself I think, while very useful, is a corruptive dangerous thing especially when someone is overloaded with it. Maybe it’s even addictive. Nana and Giraffe appear to both be obsessed with it and this overload of starlight is likely making Nana’s mental state even worse. This is gonna turn messy.

I think Nana can still be saved, redeemed even! I’m pretty positive Junna will be a huge factor in that. Nana obviously has a crush on her, just look at all the pictures she takes of Junna alone. We haven’t seen these two a ton together but enough to know they are close friends with each other. There will be more in future episodes I think, it’s gonna be wild. Help us Jun-Jun! Go go save Banana! We need ya!

Nana is someone who represents the past, she can’t let go and she can’t/doesn’t want to move forward. She’s dragged everyone else into this bullshit because she is so afraid of the future. The future is unknown and scary. The past is easy and comforting, as well as predictable. But it’s stifling, no one can grow and change. It’s a gilded cage, and Nana has trapped everyone including herself in it. She has to let go of the past and move forward understanding the future isn’t hopeless and that she can still get positive attention and love going forward.

-Maya

Oh Maya, oh dear. Amists all this time looping is Maya, it’s unknown if Maya has any memories of previous time loops but regardless if she does or doesn’t it’s fucked for her either way. If she does remember all the loops then she’s been failing to stop this and reliving the same block of time for 60 years, it’s amazing she hasn’t lost her mind! If she only remembers some loops or bits and parts then there's probably this endless feeling of dread and paranoia plus the fact she keeps failing over and over. If she doesn’t recall anything at all then she’s been doing the same fruitless quest for years without realizing that it’s all pointless. Another possible idea is her memory slowly returns during the year then she loses AGAIN and it fades away no matter what she does. Jesus christ how horrifying. 8(

Nana always fights Maya for the Top Star and Maya always loses, mostly cause the cards are stacked against her. Not only does Nana have all that starlight power but she's been fighting for 60 years and remembers doing it. So Maya can’t ever beat her, she’s extremely outmatched. I can only imagine how stressful that would be if she recalls anything, remembering endless failure to break her and her friends out of this hellscape. If Maya does indeed remember, then she is likely aiming for Top Star not to really use it for herself but to stop the madness. If she wins she can break everyone outta the loop, but she keeps losing over and over and she keeps tackling the problem alone. We gonna need everyones for this task Maya!

Maya is someone who always looks to the future, always restless and never fully satisfied where she is in life. As someone who also rarely feels fully satisfied, this feeling is both a blessing and a curse. It gives you a drive for sure but it’s also painful in that nothing you do will ever be good enough. I can tell ya for sure that this feeling 100% comes from having anxiety. Wooo. This kind of drive however, ended up keeping her from making any sort of deal with Giraffe. I think Maya and Nana were the first people contacted and offered the deal, show off starlight and get your stage with whatever you desire. The system aimed to take advantage of the most fucked up of the Stage Girls, but the thing is. Maya has nothing to really gain from a Top Star wish. Any stage the Top Star could grant would not be good enough for her to want to make that wish.

So Kuro was right in episode four, it’s VERY weird that Maya is in these auditions at all. She wouldn’t go back to the past like Nana has, not for any reason. Maya wants to move forward, and she wants everyone else to move forward too. That’s why she pulled Nana aside to talk to her, Maya feels Nana is wasting all her talent and potential. That bothers Maya, a lot. She’s probably even offended by it. Maya greatly respects things like passion, growth, and determination so Nana damping her own growth when she can do so much more just pisses her off and that’s why Maya is so worked up during their conversation. She talks to Nana, and is very blunt about her point, because she isn’t going to stand by and let someone so talented do that to themselves. Hence I think it’s possible Maya first entered the audition duels to stop Nana from doing something foolish. It’s also possible she did it to give others a challenge, someone to defeat, but that still begs the question of what the hell will she do if she gets Top Star? We don’t really have an answer right now cause we are still missing info about Maya, but it’s a question to keep in mind.

Maya’s monologue this episode is about the beauty of choice basically, people choosing a path and doing their damndest to follow it. And even if they can’t get to their original goal and drop away from it, that’s fine because it’s their choice and they are still moving forward with their life. I think Maya really respects people who choose to rise to a challenge and face it head on. That’s one of the reasons why she fell for and respects Claudine, she’s willinging to confront and challenge Maya who is believed to be untouchable and Maya loves that there’s someone who can not only match her like that but keeps pushing to be even better than she was before. She loves a woman who can kick her ass (or tries to). Anyways, Maya’s monologue ties in well with her character. Also the Venus De Milo statues are back again because Maya plays quite a big role in this episode and in general. She’s the one Nana has to beat every time after all.

Y’all might be wondering why I referred to Maya as one of the most fucked up out of the girls, well I did say she likely had a similar childhood to Nana’s so. I can tell you from experience that you don’t get someone like Maya out of a happy childhood. Maya’s parents are famous stage actors so from the moment she was born she had expectations placed on her. Lots of pressure to be as good as they are, a very stressful thing to put on a child. I talked about her possible past in episode five’s write up so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much here. Like Nana she probably didn’t grow up with many, if any, friends and always had the expectations from others hanging over her head all the time. I think it’s possible what made Maya and Nana’s paths split is because there was someone in Maya’s life that positively influenced her and Nana never got that. I dunno who in Maya’s life did that and it could’ve been an event in her life instead, either way this would be the moment she was “reborn” as a true Stage Girl. This is a guess from what I know about Maya and Nana but I think it’s possible.

What Maya and Nana strongly have in common is loneliness. Maya is used to living her life alone at the top, she believes this is the cost of being at the top and that’s that. She’ll accept it and move on, but people are social animals. We need interactions with someone or we go mad from the isolation, so really Maya hasn’t moved on from that. But since Maya always moves forward to the future, she probably hasn’t reflected on that aspect at all so she just tries to keep going. However ignoring your emotional hang ups doesn’t work forever, but Maya isn’t going to ask for any sort of help or talk to someone about it. Maya probably never learned how to do that. Nana doesn’t do it either, she probably doesn’t think it’s important enough to bother anyone by it. Both of these girls got a lot to sort out and the stage can be turned around and used to help instead of harm! That’s what I’m expecting anyways.

Another comparison is their roles they have for the stage and system itself. Maya is a symbol of what the system wants, she’s talented and full of radiance. And while this gives her power, she’s still only a symbol. She can easily be taken down by the system. Nana’s role is an enforcer, she’s the true guard dog of the system. She enforces the status quo and literally prevents change coming into the system. Nana has a ton of power hence she can take down Maya, but Nana is still just a cog in the machine. The system uses her, she isn’t very free from it either.

Maya represents the future, she’s always looking forward and always aiming for progress. But you can’t look away from any ghosts of the past forever. Looking at the past can be painful, while looking at the future is hopeful. It’s going to be hard to watch Maya having to confront herself so to speak but she needs to do that or the past will weight her down and prevent her from moving forward like she wants to.

Quick note: If Maya isn’t aware of the time loops and finds out about them, she’ll be beyond fucking pissed. Like jesus christ heaven help you if a livid Tendou Maya is coming for ya!

-Hikari

Well, Hikari is full of surprises isn’t she? There’s still a lot we don’t know about this girl, but we did learn something huge about her. Hikari being here changes everything, like she fucks the entire loop up! The auditions started two days earlier than they normally do for starters. Hikari being here caused Karen to join the duels which causes more chaos. And at this point, as you can see on the timeline I made, we’ve passed the normal reset date! No wonder Nana is like fuck fuck what the fuck is happening.

We still don’t know why Hikari came here in the first place but my best guess is she was either told or found out that Karen is in danger so she came to save her. It’s likely Giraffe is the one who let her know, he was getting bored after all. He likely chose Hikari because she’d have a motivation to come and stay, the motive would be of course Karen. There’s a theory that Hikari comes from a timeline where Karen died thanks to the auditions so she wished to go to one where she never joined the auditions, and that caused her to crossover and crash Nana’s time loop. Why Hikari is so desperate is because unless she wins Top Star, this is her only shot to save Karen. It’s a pretty plausible theory! Regardless of why, Hikari is here and she’s causing change.

Hikari is the present, she changes both the past by crashing the time loop and therefore changes the future. She’s very much the wild card around here, who knows what else she will change?

Now here we are with these three girls all involved in this time fuckery, Hikari and Maya already conflict with Nana due to her desire to keep everything the same. But what about Hikari and Maya? Would they get along at all? That I find to be quite a mystery. The most interaction we have had is Maya’s reaction to her in episode one, which is this and this if you don’t recall. Knowing what we know now I have a guess actually. It’s a bit out there but, it’s what I got for now. When Maya loses her duel with Nana the curtain falls on her right? We’ve seen at the end of two and six’s audition duels that the curtain doesn’t automatically teleport you outta there, so. Maya could still be behind that curtain, how long she’d be there I dunno but it’s very possible she’s still there just off stage. If that’s the case then Maya could have seen Hikari backstage, maybe even spoke with her. There's enough time for a brief meeting since Giraffe rambles about starlight for a bit before Hikari throws her knife.

So, maybe her expression from Hikari looking at her is surprised and confused because Maya recognizes her. But because of time travel shit, Maya doesn’t know how or why she recognizes her. I imagine that would be very confusing hence why she looks like she’s thinking deeply in the shower, wondering why she recognizes this girl she’s never met before. The comment about Hikari’s heart later I think is just Maya being Maya and answering Kuro wondering if Hikari was rival material. I don’t think she’d tell anyone that she recognizes this stranger for pretty much no reason at all, Maya probably doesn’t want to sound nuts. Like I said, I know this theory is out there but at this point who knows what could happen?

I’m eager to see how this plays out, Karen is actually a wild card too since she’s never joined the auditions until now. But unlike the other three, the lack of awareness of how fucked this situation is prevents her from being too involved at the moment. I hope everyone can make it out of this ok, they deserve happiness!

>Speculation! Here we go! Here we go again! Now here we go again!

-Hikari maybe has fought before has already had something taken from her, that’s why she hasn’t been super successful during her duels. I dunno, throwing it out there cause at this point I’m very ??? a lot about Hikari.

-I think the stage is alive. It’s an eldritch location kind of deal, hence it can bend reality within its domain and shoot Hikari outside in episode three. Giraffe is it’s avatar of sorts, a means of communication. It lives deep under the school, and it’s probably been there a long time. Sleeping or maybe waiting? I think the stage is activated by something, the something I’m thinking of is the Starlight play. It plays songs from the play and has the same exact grey tower with the star inside so it must be closely related to it. When the play is assigned to a class is the time where it awakens. Judging by the state of the stage when Nana first goes there, it’s been a very long time since a class got this play.

After it awakens, it decides on what girls will be chosen as Stage Girls. It chooses the girls with the most possible release of a lot of starlight, which it feeds off of, and then its studies the chosen girls. It can probably do shit like reading minds and such, hence it creates props for the stage girls. All ready to go. Then the time comes, the play is performed and in May the girls are summoned. And the revue commences! It feeds, it’s pleased. Guess we will find out what happens when it’s not please. O_o

-OK SO, there might be another goddess involved here. This one has less evidence so take it with a grain of salt. I’m thinking Hikari has a goddess association too, Ariadne. How I got to this is from reading about the circle of stars again. So Hikari’s hair decoration on her stage outfit is a circle of stars, Ariadne is strongly associated with these stars. The star crown either was put in the sky when she died or she wears it to make her immortal hence a goddess. Ariadne is known for leading Theseus out of the labyrinth/maze, in a way Hikari is doing something similar. Trying to lead Karen away from danger. Ariadne is the goddess of labyrinths, mazes, paths, fertility, snakes, and passion. Yup, another goddess associated with passion! Speaking of passion, there was an ancient cult that worshiped both Aphrodite and Ariadne, they had a sacred grove. Not a ton of info has been found about this cult but I do think it's interesting that we got the goddess Maya is associated with here. And if two major players have goddesses associated with them, then Nana must have one too.

Hers is harder to pin down right now, but underworld goddesses seem to suit her. Like Persephone, besides being an underworld goddess she is also the goddess of flowers, vegetation and springtime. She’s also associated with a fruit, the pomegranate. Another is Ereshkigal, queen of the underworld and sister to Inanna. She kept Inanna and her husband trapped in her realm until they were bailed out by Inanna’s sister in law. Now these connections are very loose and I might be reaching here so take both Hikari’s and Nana’s with a grain of salt. I’m gonna keep it in mind for the time being.

>Things I picked up on a series rewatch.

-Nana suddenly having an interest in Hikari in episode two became much creepier. Hikari glaring at her in the elevator also makes more sense. Nana cornering her to give her pudding was quite a power move lol. But I also think Nana was trying to befriend Hikari, remember Nana wants positive attention more than anything hence she tries the peaceful way first. I wonder if they talked to each other while dancing? I also still wonder if they dueled like I thought they did in my episode two write up.

-Several of Nana’s lines saying shit like “I’ve never done this before!” look so different now man.

-You can see Nana’s surprised reaction in episode one!

-Nana might be able to teleport? She pops up by Hikari twice so fast in episode two. I don’t know though??

-I get why Giraffe sat with Junna, Nana probably wants her crush to be as comfortable as she can be so she’s like “hey Giraffe pls sit with her”. Or that’s my guess anyways.

-Nana’s and Maya’s brief convo in episode three is quite different now. It can be taken two ways. If Maya doesn’t remember the loops then she’s probably happy Nana is finally doing something with her talent. If she does remember the loops at all she’s probably thinking “Oh this is new. Maybe she won’t pull that time travel shit this time.” *later* “I was wrong.”

-Her talking about the past Starlight play is so much more off putting now. Like dude, isn’t 60 FUCKING TIMES ENOUGH FOR YOU?! JESUS.

There’s a lot more than this most likely, but I forgot to write them down and I don’t have time to go through the episodes any more so this is what I got!

>THIS SHIT IS BANANAS, B-A-N-N-A-N-A-S!

Holy banana nuts, this show is soooo fucking good! Like holy shit it’s better than I even imagined! I’m very much looking forward to episode 8! I fucking, I’m so happy I chose to watch this series. This is fucking amazing holy shit! Spread this show like wildfire! Please! I’m ascending. Yes, oh my god! Bless! Bless this show! \^w^/

See you on the stage for episode 8!

#revue starlight #shoujo kageki revue starlight #moo watches revue starlight #I broke my record! this was 21 pages long woo!#and its 9671 words long!#yeeeehawwww #edit: fuck I meant 22. it's 22 pages long!

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written-in-sunshine · 6 years ago

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Think Before I Talk - Garth/Blaise Menelaus - SFWish

Title: Think Before I Talk Author: Donnie Setting: Centaur Plains Pairing: Garth/Blaise Menelaus Characters: Garth, Blaise Menelaus Genre: Romance/Humor Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Word Count: 1768 Type of Work: One-Shot, Summer Festival Piece Status: Complete Warnings: Alcohol Use, Gay, Slash, Yaoi, Pining, Pre-Slash, Fluff Summary: Blaise had to try, no matter how nervous he was. AN: Garth does not belong to me. He belongs to @nobis-deus-caritas-est/JD, my fiance. Blaise, and the writing, belongs to me, however. JD did the editing for this! I hope you guys enjoy! Think Before I Talk ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Never in his life had Blaise thought that the gentle tinkle of the shells wrapped in the wreath on his head would have been so calming. The little braid of kelp down the back, lined with the smaller ones, helped to play a pretty little melody that made his trek to the Centaur Plains that much more cathartic. It always felt good to slink on over, his tail propelling him forward with its smooth, fluid movements. Athena Lagoon wished it was as smooth as he thought he looked when he wound over the little landbridge between the two territories.

When he’d first started slithering over the invisible barrier away from the safe cover of the swamp and into the sudden, frighteningly open plains, it had felt secret. Wrong. He’d grown to his young adult life in the swamp with his mother, and when he’d finally felt safe enough leaving her alone, the first thing he’d done was run for the hills. Plains. Wide, open spaces were like some kind of quietly frowned upon, guilt ridden desire to him. Nobody would have believed him, nobody would have liked hearing about it, nobody would have let him leave again. At least, that had been what he’d thought. These ideations of being so naughty going to another place only intensified when he became entirely entranced by the Centaurs. Their movements were clunky and awkward in comparison to his own fluid ones, but they had a certain power to them, a commanding nature and a feeling of superiority. Their heads raised high, their muscles on full display, ripping beneath pelt and skin alike. He’d never been so surrounded by the noxious beauty of a different nature as long as he’d been alive. Sure, nagas had their own majesty, but this was something unprecedented. They weren’t filthy, or even all that bad. Awkward, maybe, but awe-inspiring. That same day, he’d seen him. It was impossible for him to describe the sight of the bulky creature as anything more than majestic. He pulled along a plough so large that it tilled several mounds of dirt at once. It easily covered the whole field in just a few passes, and the beautiful centaur did little more than break a sweat by the time it was done. Blaise never dared to speak to him for a multitude of reasons, but he did watch him often from afar. There was a large tree he would sometimes perch in on the edge of the farm his crush worked on, watching him work and thinking of dumb, sappy poetry. He’d never say it, never give them to him… But boy, the thought sure riled Blaise up until his scales quivered. Tonight, all of that was going to change. With the summer festival in full swing, and his post-nap bath interrupted by a mermaid intent on helping him with a wreath to impress his fella, well… He had little choice. Or, rather, he kept telling himself that. The more he believed he was stuck in a corner, trapped and forced to try, the better he would do at not turning tail and running. By the time he had wound his way to the beach where he hoped to see the object of his affection, his hands were slightly raw from constantly toying with the venus comb in his hand. It had been his favorite shell that Waverlie had found, and he couldn’t part with it, even for the centaur he so wanted to talk to. Surprisingly, there were other species present at the bonfire, not only the centaurs. He had been under the impression that, most likely, people would stick to their own territories. It soothed him to see other creatures, even if he appeared to be the only naga present. Perhaps that would be a good thing. Shyly slithering over to the fire, he began to coil in on himself, offering nervous smiles and careful, gentle hand movements. He’d asked someone to teach him sign language, once, and he had pursued it so endlessly that he had mastered it in under three months. Not as many people used it, but he was glad to see that there were a few others signing back to him. Sure, he wasn’t actually mute, but he didn’t really want to let all of these people hear him speak. Scanning over the crowd as a drink was passed into his hand, he eyed up the potential people to talk to while searching for that beautiful chestnut colored body. The cup to his lips, he sipped at it without care before sputtering and coughing at the burn of it all. Blinking in quick succession, he sat up a little more, tail tip tapping on the sand. What had he just put into his mouth? Someone was laughing, deep in their belly and genuine, and it drug another nervous smile from him that blossomed into something fantastic. If only he could find the man he was looking for. Maybe the liquid courage in his hand would help him with that, however. Careful to avoid getting any of it on his tongue, he knocked back another drink and felt the rush of heat, the sudden wave of dizziness over him, with a soft, kind heart. It felt good to lose himself for a few minutes in the feeling, the sway of the music that called him to dance. Snakes could so easily be charmed by the beat of a song, and he was no exception to the rule. Liquids poured from the hands of perfection could not have rivaled the fluid movements of his body as he wound and danced, getting increasingly creative as his alcohol intake increased. Soon, he was laughing and joking with others, revealing a voice less overpowered by his biggest embarrassment. That didn’t mean he didn’t still stutter, but he certainly didn’t feel so self conscious about it. Closing his eyes with his third cup in hand, he swayed backward, letting out a loud shriek as he slammed bodily into a thickly muscled creature behind him. Whipping around as quickly as he could, an apology died on his lips as he took in the sheer size of the centaur before him. Lips parted before he took another drink to shut himself up, Blaise couldn’t believe that he had literally run into the man he’d been attempting to be vigilant for all night. “Oh, uh… Sorry.” With what was definitely meant to be a placating smile, the centaur helped to tug the naga out of himself a little, as if standing him upright. “I didn’t see ya there. Are you alright?” “I--” Oh boy, he could feel it coming, now. “I think I-- Y-yeah, I’m… Hi.” He finally managed, enamoured and smiling in a love drunk kind of way. “I’m uh… I-- I’m…” You have a name, numbskull, use it! “I’m Bl-Blaise.” “It’s nice to meetcha, Blaise. Garth.” The centaur gestured vaguely to himself, before glancing off into the night sky. He didn’t do so well with people, but this guy seemed to be in a similar boat. “I… I finally know your name.” Sighing as his eyelashes fluttered over his cheekbones, he paused after just a second to sit up more and carefully untangle the wreath on his head from his hair. “I m-made this for you.” Every shell was placed in a certain position according to size, shape and color, wrapped in colorful leaves and dotted with wildflowers. The pièce de résistance was the kelp and shell tassel hanging off the back. He was especially proud of that. Garth’s shocked expression almost made Blaise’s smile falter, his eyebrows drawing in as if he were starting to feel uncomfortable. He shifted a little, fidgeting with his free hand before starting to pull the wreath back against his chest. “If you d-d-d-don’t-- D-don’t-- If you d-don’t want i-i-it, just-- Just say s-so.” He began, dropping lower into himself, towards the sand, before a strong hand shot out to grab his arm. “No, I-- It’s not that. I just… Didn’t expect it, that’s all. You’re the guy who comes around and suns himself on the rocks by the farm, right?” The tender smile on Garth’s face eased Blaise’s anxiety slightly, but his heart pounded like a thousand horses running a marathon. Not only was he going to (probably) accept the wreath, but he wanted to talk, too! Even after hearing what he sounded like! “Y-y-yeah, I… It’s warm and c-co-comfortable here. More sunlight, less shade.” Blaise tried, licking his lips and finding that a parched tongue did little for a mouth turned to a desert. Watching as Garth took the wreath like he was seeing it from the outside, he felt a swell of pride as the centaur placed it on his own head. Leaning down, Garth pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, before touching them together. “Do you want to go somewhere a little more private? We can just talk under the stars.” “That sounds… P-P-P-Per-- That so-sounds… That soun-sounds pe-perfect.” --- Garth smiled sweetly, offering his arm to the naga. Taking the other’s muscled bicep, Blaise swayed as he slithered alongside him. The moonlight lit up the beach beautifully, and the flickering light of the bonfire was left behind as they traveled to an edge mostly secluded from everyone else. “So…. I don’t have a wreath for you.” Garth began softly, licking his lips slowly as he glanced over, shy and guilty all at once. “I mean, I made one? But… I lost it on the way here.” “That’s o-okay. I… D-d-didn’t th-think I cou-cou-cou-- I didn’t th-think I could d-d-do it… T-talk to yo-you.” Blaise responded, “I-I’m glad I di-did, though. I wan-wanted to for-- For a long time.” The tender look on the centaur’s face set Blaise’s heart to pounding like a thousand hooves, and he blushed heavily, looking away. “I’m glad you did. You’re cute… And sweet. Maybe we can go for a walk sometime? Just… Talk. When you aren’t drunk, and when… We aren’t so close to everyone.” Too many people made Garth nervous, and, apparently, Blaise, too. “Y-yeah. I… I g-got nervous--” Blaise didn’t have a chance to finish his words before he felt lips on his forehead, and a calloused hand pressed into his cheek. “It’s okay. But tomorrow, I want to see you.” “I-- Yeah.” He nodded finally, smiling gently. “We can… C-can-- We c-can do th-that.” “Good.” That didn’t mean that he wouldn’t lay with the naga and keep an eye on him tonight. He did need to make sure he would be safe, after all. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

#Original Writing: Fauntaursia #Characters: Garth; Blaise Menelaus #Pairing: Garth/Blaise Menelaus #Rating: SFW

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shaddy-bee · 7 years ago

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I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful. Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it.

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

#god im #sorry #this is long #i hope its atleast somewhat enjoyable though yknow?#<3 #shaddy-online

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drippeddaily · 7 years ago

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Album of the Year #10: JAY Z - 4:44

Artist: JAY Z

Album: 4:44

Listen:

Apple Music

TIDAL

Background

Throughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.

Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.

Review

10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:

Kill Jay Z, they'll never love you

You'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay Z

Fuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brother

First thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.

A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):

O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okay

The first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.

Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Jay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.

“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:

I seen eyes wide as they're about to shoot

You can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your roots

On the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:

Y'all body language is all remedial

How could you see the difference between you and I?

The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.

“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!

Do I find it so hard

When I know in my heart

I'm letting you down every day

Letting you down every day

Why do I keep on running away?

No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:

Look, I apologize, often womanize

Took for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyes

After years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.

“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:

I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROC

And throughout the song he says:

Nobody wins when the family feuds

In this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:

Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfies

How is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?

Old n***** never accepted me

And

New n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos Equis

This attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.

For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:

Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOV

The aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.

The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:

Y'all got the same fuckin' flows

I don't know who is who

Jay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:

Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?

Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.

Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:

I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.

“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.

In order to see the reviews of the bonus tracks you must sign up with TIDAL

Just kidding! Who needs exclusivity?

“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.

Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.

MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.

And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.

Favorite Lyrics

I'm surprised you ain't auction off the casket

Caught In Their Eyes

Y'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your ear

There's a disconnect, we don't call that money over here

The Story of OJ

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Don't matter to me if it's a him or her

Smile

I seen the innocence leave your eyes

I still mourn this death and

I apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't present

Your body wouldn't accept it

4:44

Talking Points

Do you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?

Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?

Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?

Where does he go from here?

How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?

Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?

Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as much

And favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc

(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

Artist: JAY ZAlbum: 4:44Listen:Apple MusicTIDALBackgroundThroughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.Review10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:Kill Jay Z, they'll never love youYou'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay ZFuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brotherFirst thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okayThe first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveJay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:I seen eyes wide as they're about to shootYou can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your rootsOn the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:Y'all body language is all remedialHow could you see the difference between you and I?The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!Do I find it so hardWhen I know in my heartI'm letting you down every dayLetting you down every dayWhy do I keep on running away?No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:Look, I apologize, often womanizeTook for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyesAfter years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROCAnd throughout the song he says:Nobody wins when the family feudsIn this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfiesHow is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?Old n***** never accepted meAndNew n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos EquisThis attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOVThe aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:Y'all got the same fuckin' flowsI don't know who is whoJay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.In order to see the reviews of the bonus tracks you must sign up with TIDALJust kidding! Who needs exclusivity?“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.Favorite LyricsI'm surprised you ain't auction off the casketCaught In Their EyesY'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your earThere's a disconnect, we don't call that money over hereThe Story of OJMama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveDon't matter to me if it's a him or herSmileI seen the innocence leave your eyesI still mourn this death andI apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't presentYour body wouldn't accept it4:44Talking PointsDo you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?Where does he go from here?How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as muchAnd favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

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