#felassan romance when?

[whereismywarden]

god, i love this man 😂

[babe-a-yaga]

Template by @dalishious

[baphometsss]

The Inquisitor's need to hear from Rook about how Solas helped them rescue the Dalish Clan is really interesting if they're Dalish, and especially so if you play as romanced Lavellan.

By his own admission in Trespasser, Solas didn't see anyone around him as true people in the beginning of DAI. In fact, he kills Felassan for refusing to help him any longer and suggesting that the modern elves deserved a chance.

It's why the Inquisitor needs to hear it from Rook, that he actually did save their lives. 'He's always thinking about where it ends.' He wants to be remembered as more than what the Dalish currently remember him as. He wants his sacrifices to mean something to the modern elves, for them to recognise the evils of the Evanuris and see that they are not worth worshipping. It stung him badly to see that his legacy was just as the great adversary, because it suggests that the elves who remained after the fall of Elvhenan did not think much of him, even after all he did for them. That one codex from the Vir Dirthara in Trespasser shows that people knew what Fen'harel did and it was viewed almost like an act of terrorism.

The fact that the Inquisitor goes on to call out Solas's prideful nature reflects that. He can't bear to be seen as truly evil because then he's as bad as his enemies, then all he did was for nothing.

He calls the Dalish 'our people' to an elven Rook, and I don't think he's lying, there. He didn't really have any reason to save the Dalish Clan. He could've let them die. He even describes saving them as a privilege, almost like he's atoning for what he did to the elves by protecting their children. Of course, he knows a lot more people will die when the veil comes down, and it doesn't make it any easier , as he says in Trespasser.

It's interesting for the Inquisitor to bring this up though, because it shows that they've been wondering if their time together in the Inquisition had any effect on him at all, if their pursuit of him over the years has changed him in any way. They're looking for tangible signs that he doubts himself, and that he actually wants his mind to be changed.

A romanced Lavellan will say that he forbade them from following him because he didn't want them to see what he would become, but that they don't believe this is the true reason. They know him better than anyone, they got closer to the real him than most. They know he doesn't really want to do it. They know he can't accept the notion that all the terrible things he's done have been for nothing. They know he's acting from a place of grief and trauma. Saving the Dalish Clan was just the proof they had been looking for.

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

I've been thinking a lot today about how easily people condemn Solas for making the choices he did or for so regularly refusing the help and love his friends or a romanced Lavellan extended to him and how that's a very easy thing to do from behind a screen in a fictional game where you are able to (with very few exceptions) curate a world in which your allies are loyal and your decisions will go the way you'd like them to.

And yeah, it's a game and that's kind of the point, but if I were to look at it a little more deeply (and who am I kidding, I got back on this website exclusively to process the aftermath of Veilguard) I'd say that there's so much to be found in wondering if the protagonists in any of the other games would have fared better in similar conditions.

Apparently I can't stop making long posts, so buckle in.

What would Morrigan have become in a world where the Warden never stumbled upon her cottage with Flemeth, if she never got the chance to see more of the world and decide what she wanted out of it? With just her mother (who, coincidentally in this Solas-y discussion is also kind of Mythal) and no support, who is to say what she would have unleashed upon the Korcari Wilds one day when the confines of her cage became too much?

What about Leliana? She, too, suffered at the hands of a very controlling abuser who tried to convince her that one lifestyle was all that her future held. What do we think she would have become if not for a chance meeting in Lothering with someone who could help her face down the woman that molded her?

Fenris, a character MANY people are just fine with was incredibly ready to kill a mage on sight if need be, no questions asked. Where do we think his story goes if he doesn't have someone in his corner early on enough in the game? If he doesn't get caught by Danarius, he's almost certainly going to end up on a murder spree, and he doesn't even have Justice whispering in his head to do it.

Cullen. Just all of him. It's an absolute miracle he hasn't snapped by the time you encounter him in Inquistion, and even then you get the benefit of intervening at a critical point in his story several times over.

Almost every other character could face this analysis and I think we'd reach a result that suggests perhaps the only thing keeping them lovable is your playable character's investment in their well-being.

Enter Solas. We don't meet him when he's twenty to thirty something and on the precipice of falling down a dark path. He's been there for literal millennia already, and with the exception of one close friend he's been alone. And not even Felassan is enough because of the years Mythal had prior to that friendship to make Solas exactly who she needed him to be.

I've had shit friends before that aren't just good at isolating people, they're naturals. I barely made it through high school with my mental health in place (in fact, looking back, it almost certainly wasn't). When you think you've got a true friend and they need something of you, it's so easy to blindly follow them because you think your love is enough to mark someone's soul as trustworthy. Solas doesn't learn that lesson until it's too late, and even when he does he can't turn back: the spirit that was once Wisdom has been exposed to several of the worst ancient elves to ever exist and now he has to stand his ground rather than let it all fall, because that is what Pride would dictate. Admitting that the person you gave your love and labor and time to is a monster is hard. And he was alone.

Give me Morrigan after centuries with her mother. Show me Leliana after the years have become a blur and the only voice whispering in her ear is Marjolaine's. Show me the innocent mages that don't make it through if all Fenris has for years and years and years are the scars Danaris left him and the means to make more. Show me Cullen if he stays in a chain of command under a Knight Commander who knows exactly what he fears and holds it over his head for so long he forgets what it was like to be an excited kid begging the templars for training because he just wants to keep people safe.

We get companions in these games who are broken by the time they're twenty. Solas has spent thousands of years in servitude to a cause of a woman he believed to be his only friend. He doesn't know who he is without her influence, anymore, only exists physically in the first place because she asked it of him and then asked again and again and again. He doesn't have a witty band of merry fools to pull him out of that cycle. He has Felassan, but he has him during war after war after war in the hopes of freeing others from the very situation that torments him.

Trauma from war affects everyone touched by it, nevermind the fact that Solas is actively responsible for saving the lives of thousands and feels each life like a weight around his neck because maybe he can save them like he cannot save himself. We should always be worried about the people trying to do the most good. Who is looking out for them? Why are they so determined to help others? Could it be that it's something they wish others had done for them?

Solas certainly feels comradery with Felassan from working together to free slaves from the very people he helped put in power because Mythal told him it would be okay only to leave him with the pieces, but even the Solas that Felassan knows has been turned into an attack dog shying away from the touch of the very person it desires to be near above all others by the time their relationship forms.

The fact that Solas is able to try and show the Inquisitor who he is at all is a miracle as far as I'm concerned, a sign of a peaceful spirit of Wisdom who loves knowledge for the sake of it finally sensing that there might be a chance to embrace its nature again.

Yeah, if you give him what he has come to expect from people with power, if you let near-absolute power over the masses corrupt you, he's going to bristle and try to shut your inquisitor down.

But if you show him even the smallest bit of kindness? If you treat him like the starving wolf he talks about and feed him instead of fighting him? God, it shatters his entire existence.

It's called a cycle of abuse for a reason. Finding friendship, finding the love of your long-ass life can be the first step in realizing there's better out there. But the time it takes to learn that? When you're too weary to even reach out for help in the first place and afraid of every kind word or gesture because you've never known such tenderness (on a platonic OR romantic level, both matter so so much) before?

Part of the compelling tragedy of Solas is that it's almost Orpheus-like how he knows what he has been made into and still cannot stop himself from yearning for more, from turning around to see if just this once something has changed. You can't convince me that he hasn't spent years hoping that someone will hear the legend of the Dread Wolf and see it for what it is, a leash the Evanuris created for Mythal's whipping boy to ensure that even if he ever escapes them, the people he fought to save will hate him. And I cannot blame him for the shock and terror that consumes him when he realizes someone finally has.

You give me any of dragon age companions after the amount of time Solas spent under Mythal's thumb without your character's intervention and you tell me how that looks.

You tell me if they're able to change at the first sign of something that feels too good to be true.

And then, I want you to tell me they're any less worthy of trying to save, especially when you know how good their best can be.

Solas might be hard for some fans to love, but it's only because he serves as the perfect representation of the beast we are all capable of becoming when the love that sustains us, assuming we receive any at all, is laced with poison.

The journey out of that place, out of a literal prison of regret, is brutal, and I'm thrilled that even with the many things about Veilguard I'm still struggling with, we have the chance to let Solas try again with the help of those who love him not because he never fell down, but because they believe in the beauty of a future where he gets back up again.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

this is not a fully formed thought yet im still working this out. but after reading other people's impressions and seeing some complaints about Solas' characterization in this game i do disagree, but i see where people are coming from in a way

when you (or a character) have a Spiraling Breakdown of personality and belief and everything else. theres 2 kinds of ways it goes: spiraling OUT vs spiraling IN. Outward spirals happen when you start acting out of character/unlike yourself, because who you are (or used to be) failed. Inward spirals happen when instead you buckle down and commit to the one way though you can see, even if it keeps failing you, because maybe this time if you do it harder or better or more it will finally work.

in Inquisition we see Solas spiraling out. His world is shattered, everything's different, it's all his fault. And in response he desperately looks in every direction he can and grabs at anything he sees as being an option to set things right--using Corypheus, using the Inquisition, using whatever it will take. He loses his sense of self and who he is, he pretends to be someone else and falls into that character more than he expects because everything has gone so wrong he's trying to mentally distance himself from it. pretend it never happened, pretend he can turn back time, that this world isn't real. He mirrors your Inquisitor's treatment of him because the core of his own personality is so tangled he can't find his true self until the game ends, and we see him again in Trespasser.

in Veilguard we see him do the opposite. It might look like he's calm and focused but he's still spiraling, it's just inward this time. He has picked one core facet of himself and is becoming solely that aspect more and more and more. he's abandoning the parts of himself that he thinks don't serve this one goal he has fixated on, because this time he's not pretending he can turn back time--he knows that undoing it is not just erasing a new timeline it's altering the course of the current one. he can't look away from it but he also can't risk stopping. we see him as Fen'harel the war general who will do anything it takes no matter the consequence or personal cost, he lies and he tricks, and he leans into tricking you because that's his only out now. He can't stop and explain and make you see because he gave up the part of himself that can listen to alternatives. He's not calm and resolved, he's panicking--we see him make promises he can't keep like killing the Archdemon, so he's not just lying to us but himself. He kills Varric just like he killed Felassan just like he killed Mythal.

And that's also why it takes so much to snap him out of it. You can't appeal to the other parts of Solas--his love, his friendliness, his more lighthearted joking side. You can only beg your case to General Fen'harel, which is why you need the only one left who was also there to witness that part of him, Mythal. He cannot move forward or allow the other parts of himself, like the part of him that loves the Inquisitor if you romanced him, to surface until the spiral is shattered.

[kcwriter-blog]

More thoughts on Solavellan

I started replying to a post about the psychological aspect of Solavellan because it was interesting, well thought out and I thought good points were made but it got very long, and I had new thoughts. I wanted to put them down. This is not a criticism of that post in any way, it’s good and I urge people to read it. I just see things differently.

The big problem I have with most takes on Solavellan is how they take agency away from Lavellan whenever Solas is mentioned. We have a woman who grew to be one of the most powerful leaders in Thedas but when we talk about her and her feelings, she suddenly becomes this naive child desperately in love with the man who broke her heart. I just don’t see it. I don’t see a relationship – no matter how intense – of a few months, defining her going forward. So, let’s look at it.

Solas and Lavellan do love each other deeply. We don’t hear Lavellan say I love you until the breakup scene and she never calls him vehnan until Trespasser. Obviously, that is, as with most things in the romance, because it was a rushed, late add to the game. But it is interesting.

People get on Solas’ case for not defining the relationship, but I would argue she isn’t in a hurry to define it either. Which is smart. They haven’t been together long and one, the other, or both of them could die.

It’s possible that Crestwood is the first chance they have had to talk about it. I’ve never liked the first dialogue option because Lavellan seems genuinely surprised that up until now, she doesn’t know what to call Solas. Which is silly. They have been exclusive for a few months now. They are in love. She’s been calling him something and my guess is it is vhenan (her heart, home). And Solas fully intends to have that discussion. He just gets cold feet because what he has to tell her isn’t something she is going to believe.

Moving on. The valleslin scene has had a lot posted about it and I don’t want to get into it. I think what’s important is not whether it is removed or not but the idea that Solas alone destroys her faith by telling her the truth. Did he hammer the final nail in the coffin of her faith? Yes, but a smart Lavellan has to be questioning everything already. Why? Because she met Mythal.

Even before she meets the head of her pantheon, she has been to the Temple of Mythal and learned a lot that differs from her people’s mythology. She learns that Mythal was murdered, not locked away. She learns that the Dread Wolf had no part in that murder. She sees a depiction of the Dread Wolf in an antechamber of the temple in a guard dog position which is weird. If she drank from the Well, she has a lot of ancient elven voices in her head telling her stuff. If she didn’t, she would have Morrigan telling her the same stuff.

She meets ancient elves. And those elves don’t see her or the Dalish as their own. Just as a reminder, Solas isn’t the only ancient elf to have feelings about the Dalish. Abelas is very pointed about saying Lavellan isn’t one of his people. Felassan makes fun of the Dalish. Mythal says “the People bend the knee to easily” in DA2. Heck, Felassan thinks more of the city elves than he does of the Dalish. Solas eventually comes around. It’s a grudging respect but he does allow that they have some good qualities.

Lavellan meets Mythal and Mythal isn’t exactly a nice person. She has chosen to possess the body of a human, not an elf. She never helps the elves. So, you have an elven goddess in diminished form running around helping human heroes but doing nothing for the people that pray to her. That must rock her world and her faith.

Her faith is already on the ledge by Crestwood. Solas possibly pushes it over. And he never would have told her if he hadn’t messed up and changed his mind about the other thing. It’s all impulsive. He isn’t thinking straight, just covering his ass and it hurts her. However, I think he still intended to carry on the relationship without telling her the truth. During the kiss, he finally realizes that if he loves her so much he almost told her everything, then not telling her is morally wrong and he comes up with a reason to end it.

After the breakup, Lavellan is hurt. It always hurts when someone breaks up with you. What hurts the most is knowing he still loves her. What also hurts is he won’t give her a reason. I don’t think she is questioning everything he told her at this point. He’s just the cold-hearted son of a bitch who broke her heart.

Most of us have been there. We’ve got breakup playlists, alcohol and friends to help get us through it. I usually imagine my Lavellan grabbing Bull, Dorian and Cole to help her take out her anger on a poor unsuspecting dragon. I also put off triggering the Wicked Grace game until after the breakup.

That doesn’t mean she isn’t angry or crying on Josephine’s shoulder. Of course she is, but she isn’t questioning her life choices. She could tell Solas to get lost, but she keeps him around. She is even kind to him when the Orb is discovered broken.

And everyone is kind of busy planning to find and finish Corypheus off once and for all. I see her putting a pin in it. Once they win, she will confront him and demand answers.

She doesn’t get the chance because he leaves without saying goodbye. That has to hurt. I don’t see her in a place where she could never trust anyone ever again. It’s more likely, she throws daggers at a drawing of him out in the practice yard. Even if she still loves him, she is an adult not a maiden in distress. As much as she loves Solas, her entire world does not revolve around him.

Solas made his choice. She may be concerned about him - especially after Cole’s cryptic message - but I don’t see her searching frantically for him. He knows where she is and can send her a message if he needs her.  

And she is busy. She must help clean up the mess Cory made. She has rifts to close. She has dignitaries to meet. She has paperwork. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for pining.

There is an idea that Lavellan is alone because all of her inner circle except her advisors go off and do their own thing. Except that isn’t true. They write letters – which you can find exploring the Winter Palace – in those letters some of them mention having visited or that they will visit. Lavellan is also capable of making new friends. She is not static.

Solas leaving her may still hurt. She may have (and probably did) tried to move on but so far no one matched him for any number of reasons. She is only alone in the sense that any leader is alone. What she probably misses the most about Solas is that he always treated her like a person, not an icon.

Then we get to Trespasser. If you have found all the clues for the secret dialogue option, she has figured out Solas is the Dread Wolf long before she confronts him. She has seen the murals, learned his story. She knows the Dalish got it wrong. She knows from experience that the Dalish get a lot wrong. And he’s Solas. She might not know him as well as she thought but she saw beneath his mask a little. She isn’t going to be afraid of this figure out of Dalish legend. Mostly she is going to be pissed because he didn’t tell her the truth, because he didn’t trust her.

As far as the arm thing goes. Weekes and Epler have said, he did not amputate her arm. Solas drew out the magic that was killing her. The arm disintegrated. It was already doing so by the time she meets Solas. If he hadn’t drawn out the magic, she would have disintegrated just like Solas’ friend Wisdom. I think arguments that she would have trouble trusting anyone based on this are a non-starter

Once all that is over, will Lavellan have a hard time trusting anyone? She will have a hard time trusting Solas. Who wouldn’t? Will it color her perception of anyone she might want to be romantically involved with? For a few years maybe but what are the chances she will fall in love with another god?

Trust isn’t just about people you’ve been romantically linked with. She still trusts her inner circle. They help her. A bad experience with one person, no matter how much she may love him, isn’t going to make her stop trusting people entirely.

Now apart from Solavellan, I’m pretty sure Lavellan is messed up psychologically. You can’t go through what she did and not be a little messed up. But it is that experience that may make her empathize with Solas and understand why he left her.

She knows what it is like to be a leader. Not in the sense of leading her clan but in the sense that her decisions have huge consequences. She knows how a leader’s decisions are always second guessed - like they are at the Exalted Council if you chose to exile the Wardens. She knows what it is like to have to step up and be the one to save the world. She knows that sometimes there are no good choices, and you do the best you can. She knows it messes you up and you can lose your way. Solas has lost his.

Is it ten times harder to empathize when you loved that person, and they destroyed your trust? Yes. Solas will have to win her trust back. She will view anything he says or does with suspicion, as anyone would. However, Solas rarely outright lies. She knows this. She will be asking a lot more questions and be paying more attention. She also knows that he didn’t lie about loving her.

Okay, but he is still planning to tear down the Veil so he must not love her very much. Her love moved the needle. He went from believing nothing was real to thinking everyone is real. Is it so hard to imagine that Lavellan thinks he can be reasoned with? I doubt she thinks her love alone will change him. That doesn’t mean she won’t want to try. That doesn’t mean she will want him back when it’s all over. It also doesn’t mean she is a quivering mess obsessing over their relationship.

Solavellan can be whatever you want it to be, based on your own experiences. For some it's an angsty story with a Lavellan pining for him. For others, she gets over it fast with Cullen's help. For me, she is a strong, proud woman who is able to use her own experiences to empathize with Solas and want to save him from himself. She may still love him, but that love has been tempered by her experiences with him. They will need to have a long talk if they ever meet up again.

[galpalaven]

Felassan - Inquisition Companion + Romance Option

I blacked out after work and wrote this in a daze. Enjoy?

Felassan presents himself as a Dalish dreamer mage and friend of Solas, joining up with Solas from the very beginning after the Conclave. 

He is romanceable by any gender or race, unlike Solas who is still race-locked (but bisexual — because the main gripe between the two is the topic of modern elves and anyone else being “real”). I think it would be interesting to also have specific dialogue if you try to romance both at once — Felassan would urge Lavellan to be careful with Solas either way, though it turns more clearly yearning and sad if the player has also triggered the beginnings of his romance.

Since Felassan’s addition to the group would be an extra mage, I think to balance all that out Cullen should be able to be taken at least on some outings, and we could have an extra rogue as well (Harding would fit here, I think).

more under the cut

Personality

As a friend of Solas and his direct counter, it’s immediately noticeable that Felassan is much more friendly and playful. Notably, he enjoys chatting up a Dalish inquisitor about being Dalish, and answers questions companions have about the elves with far more enthusiasm than Solas. If the two are in the party together, he will actively tell people not to listen to Solas and poke fun at him for being rude. 

He gets along well with all of the other companions. Some who get along less well with Solas will comment on how they don’t know how he’s still friends with him when they are not in the party together. He gets along especially well with Sera, showing interest in her upbringing without making her feel condescended to the way Solas does. He particularly enjoys hearing about the Red Jennies and her efforts at helping to even the playing field for the underprivileged.

He gets along with Vivienne as well — I think it would be interesting for Vivienne to be vaguely familiar with him after he had been friends with Briala. I think it’s not a terrible idea for him to have still been involved there, too, as it could come in handy during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts.

Story Influence

The main differences with Felassan’s presence would likely come into play mostly with things to do with the elves.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts

Felassan is one of the most useful companions in this quest. Knowing Briala personally makes it easier for the Inquisitor to convince Briala to either:

Get back together with Celene

Become the puppet behind Gaspard

Felassan knows his way partially around the palace and is able to direct the party slightly when looking for things needed to advance the quest. He is also friends with some of the servants, allowing them access to some of the servants’ tunnels in a pinch.

He makes cheeky, sarcastic comments about the nobility when asked. He’s better at not speaking about his past, so he doesn’t get shifty during the quest like Solas does. He’s happy to dance with the Inquisitor, enjoying the scandal it will cause, with maybe a special line with a Dalish Inquisitor. Rather than single them out and make them “special” compared to other Inquisitors, it’s mostly just on principle of relating to them as another elf, similar to dialogue that can be triggered with Bull about being Qunari (or Tal-Vashoth, in that case).

What Pride Had Wrought

Welcome Felassan as the 3rd option for the Well of Sorrows!

This is where he becomes a real player on the table. He will argue with Morrigan about the Dalish, correcting her outright in places. They never gave the Dalish Inquisitor a real chance to argue with her about things, or explain things themselves, so he has snarky commentary either correcting her or being surprised when she gets things somewhat right. There are also scenes where he will take up the explanation entirely.

Felassan being present also will give the player the correct answer to the rituals. He knows them, explains offhandedly that he’s been here before as an excuse, and makes it far easier for the player to ally with the Sentinels rather than fight them.

By the time they reach the Well, things are tense. 

Solas still fights with Morrigan and the Inquisitor both. If the Inquisitor brought him and Felassan both, he will immediately reject the idea when Felassan offers himself as an option. 

Romanced!Felassan wants to do this for you — he knows what will happen, he knows the weight of this decision, and he doesn’t want this for you. He will elaborate if asked that drinking from this well will bind you, not only to the memories within, but the will of Mythal. The Inquisitor can, at this point, shrug this off if they don’t believe in Mythal or that she is still alive to control them. If the Inquisitor still chooses to drink themself, he accepts this, but tells them that he will help them with any… side effects, should they arise.

Unromanced + High Approval!Felassan will say something similar — you are his friend and he wishes to keep you safe. He will elaborate similarly if asked with high approval.

Low Approval!Felassan offers himself as a Dalish authority, perhaps derisively suggesting that he is older and wiser than a Dalish inquisitor, and that this is his responsibility, not theirs.

Either way, Solas is NOT happy, but will ultimately accept the final decision.

Trespasser

We come upon the eve of the Betrayal of Felassan.

At low approval, Felassan will have left some time in between the end of the main story and Trespasser, seeking to follow in Solas’s footsteps and find him. Despite not having high approval, Felassan is still fundamentally opposed to Solas’s decision, and will be trying to track him down alone to stop him — something Solas has been running to avoid at every turn. He does not want to see Felassan — he does not want to kill his best friend.

High approval and/or romanced Felassan is present and there to help the whole way through. 

Romanced Felassan particularly will have a scene where he will quietly pull his love aside and ask if they trust him. If they say yes (or “You’re scaring me.”), he will tell them that this will sound crazy, but ask them to listen until the end before saying anything else. He will explain the story of the Dread Wolf as he knows it — the rebellion, the Evanuris, the vallaslin, all of it — and then, at the end, explain that he knows this because he lived it. He tells the story of the slow arrow and the Dread Wolf (a Dalish inquisitor can recognize it midway and will interrupt with surprise) and explains that he was there. That he has known Solas for thousands of years, that he has walked this land for thousands of years.

He will also explain that he knows what Solas wants and that he must stop him — that they must stop him. Solas wants to fix what he thinks he broke, but the people alive today do not deserve the fate he would have of them.

And Felassan is willing to do whatever it takes to stop him.

High approval Felassan will explain in much less detail via commentary while discovering the murals in the Crossroads, leading up to eventually finding Solas.

Once Solas has been found, Felassan runs ahead of the group, disregarding calls for him to stop. The Inquisitor is left one man down as they chase after him until, finally, they reach the place where Solas waits — and they find Felassan in Solas’s arms, a knife through his ribs.

Felassan will be stabbed by Solas regardless of Felassan’s approval with the Inquisitor. However, depending on choices made during either Solas or Felassans personal quests, and maybe Solas’s level of approval with the Inquisitor, Felassan can die.

The Inquisitor who loves him or is his friend will rush forward as Solas stumbles back, catching Felassan and holding their hand over the wound, careful not to move the dagger. Between the blood and the Inquisitor’s mark consuming their other arm, they are a sad sight.

Solas apologizes, but states that it was necessary. He would only get in the way. The questioning continues as normal here, up to Solas taking the Anchor.

Romance

I’m not entirely sure how this would go yet. I think he’s playful and flirtatious if the Inquisitor starts it. He will throw out Dalish phrases sometimes “for privacy,” with a Dalish inquisitor, which comes with a very obvious, if not always visible, wink. 

His quests do focus around his identity as an elf, and around preserving elven history, whether the Inquisitor is Dalish or not. While this kind of happens with Solas, a lot of his dialogue is about how wrong the Dalish are — Felassan provides a different, more loving perspective on the modern elves compared to the ancients.

I think a love triangle route between him and Solas would be SO juicy. He wants his friend to be happy, but he knows that Solas does not believe that the elves are full people, and is concerned for the Inquisitor because of this. I think even if the Inquisitor locks in Solas, if the flirts were triggered with Felassan, you CAN actually come back to his romance after Solas dumps you (which, especially if they let him remove the tattoos, can hurt both you and him). I think it unlocking a special scene where he says that yes, he knew what they were and yes, he chose to keep his because he wanted them, would be sweet (and relatable if you chose to kEEP the vallaslin).

Overall, I think his romance would be sweet and fun. A direct counter to Solas and Sera, two elves who hate other elves. Felassan is proud of being an elf, he is proud of the resiliency of both the Dalish and city elves. He’s interested in every part of the world, including the dwarves, Qunari, and humans.

It's been a very long time since I played DAI so please forgive any inconsistencies. I just needed to write something down after work lol. tagging people who showed interest earlier! @lammstrellicon @swoleas @isayashai @witchofthewakingsea @ash-soka

[felassan]

What if

In Warden Mahariel worldstates, Davrin has a comment about it?

When we go to Weisshaupt, there are some references to the Hero of Ferelden and their fate? Maybe some codex entries (Weisshaupt has a library), a statue dedicated to them like the griffin one we find in Redcliffe in DA:I, something like that?

When looking around The Lighthouse, there are paintings and notes written by Solas about the Inquisitor, friendly or romanced?

There is some kind of reference to Felassan, the friend that he killed, in The Lighthouse?

[stormsbourne]

common complaints about veilguard: the counterpoint post

Spoilers under the cut lol

1) "why isn't the betrayal of felassan a mural?" the reason that the betrayal of felassan isn't a mural is that solas' regret about it is so potent that the evanuris manipulate it into a guardian to try and sabotage the crossroads. it is not that he doesn't regret it, it's that he regrets it enough that the regret is easily manipulable. the game tells you this about the guardians. "betrayal of felassan" isn't just a fun name for a revenant, it is the emotions and turmoil that revenant was made from. THE GAME TELLS YOU THIS

2) "why doesn't lucanis say he's a/demisexual, saying it online is a dumbledore moment" because it's not super relevant to his arc or romance and it's possible he doesn't know the words the same way that taash had to be told what being nb was. also it's insane to compare harry fucking potter to a game full of pansexual companions, one of whom is trans and has an arc based around their identity. it is not comparable lol.

3) "solas said in inquisition that he doesn't think blood magic is all that bad, this is a retcon" no, he's lying to rook because he is doing a blood magic on them as they speak. again the game establishes this. turns out you can't always take people at their word, especially if they are a god of lies and treachery. sometimes characters will lie to you!

4) "lucanis should be able to come to trust rook again even if you sacrifice treviso" he DOES trust rook but he's just not able to be romanced! those aren't the same thing! it's not even really about rook, it's that his arc as a character is changed if you sacrifice treviso (ie instead of coming to coexist with spite he decides that he's going to separate them and grant spite their own separate existence) so his dynamic with rook just cannot be the same. sorry you can't romance him, he'll be there in a future play. also I thought we liked consequences isn't that why we're all so mad about the three decisions only from inquisition stuff

5) "but that means lucanis is black and white not complex like the writers keep saying" I don't think you know what complexity means in terms of character writing. being able to come to trust and forgive someone for a decision that impacted you and your people, but still not being able to cross the line into dating them is a pretty complex set of emotions. people are complicated and messy and lucanis is too. sorry

6) "but you can still romance neve if you sacrifice minrathous" yeah, neve is complicated in a different way from lucanis. they're different people with different priorities and different reactions to trauma. this isn't bad writing, it is in fact, good writing to have characters respond realistically and have complexes they can or cannot move past instead of having a random approval tipping point that makes them ok or not ok with something

7) "solas is TOO morally gray, bioware just wants you to hate him" yeah I'm sure that's why there is a redeem option (overwhelmingly chosen by players) where you make him see the error of his ways and he willingly surrenders his plans after being told that he can let go of his guilt for his mistakes. sorry john epler thinks solas is a complicated person but that's what's most interesting about him. when the castling shit happens I started hollering because it's the best thing solas has ever done onscreen, it's so delightful. also, lol, the elven god of lies and treachery lied to and betrayed you? you don't fucking say

8) "why'd they have to kill varric" varric dying, as many people have pointed out, is the actual catalyst that releases the gods and traps solas by basically doing to him the same thing he later does to rook. The implication is that he immediately regrets it and this regret jams him into the fade prison in the place of elgar'nan and ghilan'nain. the game does not directly tell you this but it is implied. as for why they made that story decision, I can't tell you, but it definitely wasn't made just to piss people off

9) "weird that you can't tell taash that they can be both qunari and rivaini." I agree! next

10) "taash's nb stuff is so cringey and 101" yeah well it's not being written for tumblr folks who have all had a gender journey and read queer theory, it's being written for people who don't know shit and may never have even heard of being nonbinary. sometimes there's an audience besides you and things are written to help them understand the basics of the basics

11) "why do they kill davrin/harding" you are fighting gods and things are dire. if they hadn't killed one of them then we'd be getting complaints about how easily rook and co manage to handle things. Hell dude we're still getting those complaints right fucking now

12) "I can't believe they destroyed all of southern thedas just to burn bridges from the previous games" it is intended to be a world changing conflict because these are literal gods who are empowered by the blight. also it's not like it's a smoking crater. you don't know that they killed all your faves and in fact that is a slightly unhinged assumption to make. I get it, you're dissatisfied with the game, but you're reading in more malice than is intended

13) "why isn't rook in the book club/cooking rotation/lucanis and davrin monster conversations/whatever" so that you have room to decide if your rook would be there or not. this is an invitation to decide what kind of person your rook is, not a refusal to put them in the group

14) "why does everyone call rook that instead of their surname" logistics, same as any other dragon age game

15) "why is rook making the decisions for these characters, they're grown adults" do you think adults never seek advice or input from their friends. the point of the character decisions is that they're hard and the companions don't know what way is "right," and for that matter you're not deciding what's right, either, you're giving them advice and input that they take seriously as either your friend or your teammate.

16) "I reject this thing about canon and have decided on my own" that's fine, my rook doesn't have the "canon" mercar backstory because I just chose not to incorporate it with my view of that character. nobody is stopping you, especially not the people at bioware

[simpforsolas]

I know we’ve all thought about Solas/Felassan and wrestled with the reality that Solas killed his one and only friend, who’d been with him for thousands for years. For me, personally, it always felt… odd. There are reasons in game, ofc, but Solas is sentimental, and he doesn’t like killing when unnecessary. If I’m being honest, it always felt slightly out of character. I couldn’t imagine Solas killing a befriended or romanced inquisitor like this, and he knew Felassan much longer than them. Even when Varric goes to confront him in DATV, someone he has a much weaker bond with, Solas doesn’t try to kill him immediately, but instead talks with him.

Anyway. All this to say that I have two explanations for this plot point. One is a meta explanation, the other is in game.

Meta explanation is this was written when the writers knew Fen’Harel, but didn’t fully understand the character of Solas yet.

In-game explanation is that Solas and Felassan made an agreement before any of this happened that if one of them started to falter, the other would have to put them down, because their goal was absolute and nothing could risk it—not even their bond.

The material can be interpreted with this explanation. At the beginning of the novel, Felassan is 100% on Team Dread Wolf. I could absolutely see him promising Solas that he would never falter, and if he did, Solas needed to promise to kill him because they couldn’t risk people seeing Fen’Harel’s top agent turn against him. When Felassan goes to the fade to face Solas in the Masked Empire, he knows he’s going to die. There is no question about it. So either he knows the person he’s working for is so cruel and convinced of his path that he won’t let him live, even after thousands of years together (which makes me wonder why Felassan would be loyal to him), or he knows that he made an agreement with Solas and he’s going to face the agreed-upon consequences of said agreement.

Solas kills Felassan before he can get a word out, and maybe that’s because Solas knew he had to kill him immediately, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do it. And if he didn’t kill him, he a) wouldn’t be fulfilling his own promises and b) his other followers would see that they could defy the Dread Wolf without consequences.

“His friend had to die because he thought they were people. The Slow Arrow breaks in the sad wolf’s jaws.”

[crimsonphantasmagoria]

I've been scouring my brain for weeks now, trying to come to a reconciliation between the Solas we get through Inquisition into Trespasser, and the Solas we see in Veilguard, and I think I've finally come to an answer which satisfies me, though YMMV of course. It all has to do with selfishness.

What put me onto this is the way he talks about the romance path. "It was selfish of me" he says, almost angrily. Selfishness is a thing he can't stand in others, and certainly can't stand in himself.

Solas has had his opinions and wants dismissed in the name of selflessness again and again. Most importantly, this has been done by the person he Respects the most, Mythal (this is true whatever you believe the nature of their relationship was).

The first thing, which led to everything else, is that she persuaded him to take a body for a selfless cause: protecting the People from those like Elgar’nan. Then, she had him craft the Lyrium Dagger, against his wishes, because it was necessary to end the war. And then she betrays him. He was brought into this world against his will to prevent Elgar’nan and the like basically from doing exactly this, and she's going along with it? He doesn't want to go against her, but he has to, for the good of the People.

Once the rebellion starts, Solas is required to act against his personal wishes again: he has to uphold the mantle of the Dread Wolf. We see this in Felassan's letter to him.

The next time we see Solas and Mythal together is when he warns her about the Evanuris using the Blight, and more or less asks her to run away to the Fade with him. And she refuses. We can debate her motives all we want, but I think it's safe to say that running away to the Fade with her was what he wanted. His selfish wish. And she rejects it, and goes to confront the Evanuris alone, and dies. His grief reframes this as her dying because he was selfish. And in his grief, he chooses to seal away the Blight and the Evanuris. Now, this wasn't a bad thing to do, but he is pretty explicit in Trespasser that he did it directly in response to them killing Mythal. A selfish act. And it goes catastrophically wrong.

He comes to years later, and the world is horrifying. Elven mortality, corrupting spirits, magic suppressed, all because of his mistake. His selfishness has hurt the People he has a duty to, given to him by the person he respected the most. He immediately sets about fixing the mistake. After all, he's more or less the only one who can. He kills Felassan, when he betrays the cause. He doesn't want to, but since when has he wanted any of this? When was the last time something he wanted mattered? Fixing what he's done to the world matters more.

But then he gets outwitted by Corypheus, and the Veil is coming down in the worst way possible, causing untold harm on both sides. And he can't fix this problem. The only person who can is the one with the Anchor, the future Inquisitor. So he sets himself to helping them do so, because it's the best he can do to fix his new mistake. And in doing so, he sees the best parts of the new world. He meets people he genuinely likes and admires, potentially even loves. He realises that these people are complete as they are, 'real'. It goes faster with a high approval or romance Inquisitor, but even with low approval, he eventually gets to the same place. He wants to help them. He wants to stay with them. He wants his time with them to have mattered.

But that would be selfish. Since when have his wants mattered?

He leaves them. He doesn't want to, but he has to. He kills Flemythal, because he needs her power if he's going to do this, even though he doesn't want to. He weeps. Gets back up and continues on. Since when has what he wanted mattered?

Trespasser happens, and he tells the Inquisitor almost everything, because they deserve to know, but also...he doesn't want to do this. This is the beginning of his subtle attempts to help them stop him. He can't admit it. He can't admit that he needs help, that he wants to stop, but he can subtly, almost unconsciously guide them.

This culminates in him leaving the eluvian path open for Varric and co to follow him to the unguarded, unwarded ritual site. Unfortunately, Varric tries to reason with him. But he cannot be reasoned with by Varric. Nor by the Inquisitor, nor anyone else in modern Thedas. That's what he wants, you see? He wants to stop, so he can't. That would be selfish. I do think that, maybe, if Harding had taken the shot, he might have allowed it. Taken it as a fair defeat. But she doesn't, so we'll never know.

So he ends up in the regret prison, otherwise known as literal Hell for Solas, and tricks Rook into helping release him. He's more or less the only one with power sufficient to take on Elgar’nan. You know, the guy he came here, unwillingly, to oppose in the first place? So he goes and helps the Shadow Dragons in Minrathous, but it isn't enough. Fortunately, Rook escapes, and they defeat Elgar’nan together. Unfortunately, he has now run out of excuses to not do the thing he doesn't want to do, and the Veil is coming down anyway, so.

But then Rook offers another choice. Bind yourself to the Veil and save us. He does seriously consider it for a second, because it's what he wants to do, and Rook isn't a person he cares about personally. He might respect them, but he doesn't really like or care about them, like he does Varric or the Inquisitor. Weirdly, this might make it a more effective plea, taken from this perspective. Ultimately, though, the Unselfish thing is clearly to fix his mistake, fix the world, so he goes to do that.

Then here comes the Inquisitor. He can't stop for them either, but he feels like he owes them an explanation still. He failed Mythal, and she died. He was selfish, and she died. This will all have been for nothing if he acts selfishly now.

Now Morrigan arrives. Whose fault is that? She channels fragment Mythal. I like to think this part is these two fragments of Mythal reuniting for a few moments. And Mythal says, in effect, "if i had let you stay where you wanted, if I'd listened to what you wanted, then maybe none of this would have happened. You aren't the only one at fault here. Be free from your duty to the People, and choose your own path from now on."

The Inquisitor reinforces this, and it takes him about two seconds of collecting his thoughts to choose, because frankly it's what he's wanted to do the whole time. And then he chooses to return to the Fade, and to seek atonement for his part in creating the Blight. Probably also something he wanted, but felt like he couldn't persue because he wanted it. But now he finally can, because his wants have been acknowledged by that person he respected the most as valid. So off he goes.

This might actually make the romance with Lavellan even more powerful because it means he wanted her badly enough that he almost chose her anyway, even despite his prior conditioning. Sadly, he eventually realised that the relationship was fucked if he couldn't stop his plans and couldn't tell her who he was because he couldn't stop his plans, so he ended it, for her sake, another selfless act, to try and make it easier for her to hate him. And if she doesn't, and asks to come with him in Trespasser, he refuses, for selfishly stated reasons, because he wants this one thing to remain pure and uncorrupted. But in the end, he won't refuse her again because he's finally allowed to want again, and what he wants most of all has always been her.

Idk, I've just been struggling to make Solas’s motivation change between games make sense to me, and this is what worked. Nobody else has to think this. Totally just my personal speculation.

[explodingchantry]

when anders tells Hawke One Lie to Literally Protect Them against repercussions of what he does, and then kills like 13 people all actively partaking in a genocide (which is what he was protecting Hawke against the repercussions of by lying), via blowing up a building that ONLY had these people in because he targeted it specifically at night when there would be no service, and when he literally offers to die for the lives that he took, and shows remorse even though he is literally trying to (and succeeding, btw) save defenseless mages about to get butchered. then hes a monster and a murderer and irredeemable and "lost to his rage" right. but when solas uses spirits as cannon fodder and literally turns titans tranquil for his own gain and literally creates the actual fucking blight and then when he comes back a thousand years later and regards every living being, but especially elves, with disdain, refuses to help them, murders his most loyal friend and ally for thinking modern elves should be treated as people, when he lies to and manipulates literally everyone he comes in contact with, when he decides to tear down the veil KNOWING it will kill an inconceivable amount of people, when he decides to ally with one of the magister sidereals to do so and causes the catastrophe that was the breach, when he manipulates the main character of a game via blood magic to puppet a dead friend for his own gain, when he literally uses everyone that ever comes in contact with him whether its felassan or mythal or the inquisitor or varric or rook . then hes "sensitive" and "will cry over killing a flower". then he's "complex, flawed, but with good intentions". and he gets to be the face of the franchise.

but anders is a twisted monster who ruined kirkwall and the southern mages and is to blame for all the ills that have befallen the mages/chantry since da2 and even a hawke who romances him will never say anything actually kind or positive or even just sympathetic about him, and varric will only ever trash talk him. then anders is just as bad as his abusers and oppressors. then he deserves to literally never be mentioned in a good light ever again.

okay

Reading comprehension test:

is OP saying you are not allowed to like Solas?

is OP attacking solas likers and solasmancers?

is OP saying that you cannot make a complex character/villain?

is OP saying anders is perfect and has absolutely no flaw whatsoever?

should OP be shot for expressing his frustration about the writing bias in dragon age?

[telewarp]

the thing about Solas Dragon Age is that he is an unreliable narrator. he lies. it is literally his thing, he points it out again and again, and real ass people STILL fall for his lies and propaganda again and again, even though he is literally A Well Known Liar

solas in inquisition does not view modern elves as "people". he doesn't view any modern day race as "people", this is something you can learn from cole, who has a unique insight into his head. solas pulls away from a romanced lavellan in inquisition specifically because SHE IS STARTING TO MAKE HIM VIEW MODERN DAY PEOPLE AS ACTUAL PEOPLE and he doesn't want that, because if he views them as people, he won't be able to pull down the veil. his "i had plans to minimize casualties" is a stretch of the truth at best and an outright lie at worst in veilguard. you are given no reason to believe him and every reason to understand that he is likely lying, again, as he always has, in order to justify his actions. he murdered the two people closest to him because they made him waver, wanted him to see there is beauty worgh protecting in this age, too, and i think lavellan is DAMN lucky he didn't get a chance to do anything worse than take her hand.

solas. is. a liar. he is a spirit twisted from his purpose, wisdom become pride, but his actions are his and his alone. he lies to felassan, he lies to the inquisitor, he lies to varric, he lies to rook. you HAVE to take everything he says with a grain of salt. mythal was the person he loved most and had the most history with and he still betrayed her, and locked up what remained of her within the fade. he is unreliable and twists his words to suit his purpose.

when he says he wants to save the elves, to return them to their former glory, he is likely not talking about modern day elves. he doesn't view them as "his people". not anymore. they're broken and need to be fixed. solas is a liar. he knows exactly who he is trying to save, and it is not anyone who exists within this modern world.

[baphometsss]

the 'memories of a duet' codex is so interesting and not just because you can read it in so many ways. given that mythal is on the codex card i think you can safely assume it's about her, but it reveals so much about their relationship if you pay attention. this is a memory of solas learning a song/composing it for her, to remind her of who they are (were) when everything sang the same (in the fade, when they were spirits). she's doing her own thing at court but he does it all just to get a single happy glance from her, to see her remember the familiarity that is so integral to solas's understanding of who he is. 'seeing wholly, being wholly seen'. remember that spirits reflect: solas reflected mythal's benevolence, and mythal reflected his wisdom. they need to reflect to maintain their sense of who they are: it is not just about his love for mythal, but his way of retaining his sense of who he is, by prolonging the memory of that reflection even as she grew away from him.

the 'away from mindless worship and well-meant misunderstanding' is really fucking interesting too. it's a memory of a moment where mythal could forget her role of the charismatic all-mother, who was loved and adored by her children, and where solas could ignore the no doubt frequent insinuations from others that his devotion was romantic. it was a way for them to connect in a way where they could just be true to who they were and how they felt about each other: like branches of the same tree, like family. of course, this was before he rebelled, before mythal betrayed him by joining the evanuris--although how long before is questionable since they're only sharing glances at this point. it's kind of sad, too; it reads like he's already having to do so much to get barely anything in return from this person who is meant to be his family.

it also puts a lot of things into perspective about solas's feelings on the modern elves in dai. that feeling of kinship, the twinning he felt with mythal and felassan and no doubt other elvhen and spirits, is so precious to him. he doesn't want to share it with anyone in this terrible, broken world he created, as if to share it with them would somehow taint it. it's only by the end of dai and into datv that he sees he was wrong, that the elves may have forgotten their history, but they are of the same family: different branches on the same tree.

when he says to a romanced lavellan, you are unique, i have never found a spirit such as yours, you have a rare and marvellous spirit, etc. he's also saying that he hasn't felt this sense of kinship for a long time, that he didn't expect to bond with someone from this broken world in the way he did. it's a different bond to the one he had with mythal, too, because he says he never thought he would find someone who would draw his attention from the fade and by extension, his longing to be a spirit once again--something he constantly tried to get mythal to agree with him on and failed. with lavellan, for the first time, he actually wants someone in this overwhelmingly physical and romantic way--something spirits don't feel, apparently. cole doesn't get with maryden unless you make him more human, and he also says he doesn't feel any attraction as a spirit. solas is actually glad to be a person and not just a spirit, because it means he's actually able to experience romantic love and desire for the very first time (as the romance description in datv heavily suggests). what's more, despite his misgivings, he likes it.

as others have pointed out, lavellan's speech in datv is in hallelujah cadence like the dialogue with the other elvhen. the duet is being sung once again--in a different context, but no less meaningful. there's a song by bjork called stonemilker, where she sings: 'a juxtaposition in fate/find our mutual coordinates'. it really reminds me of this; the need emotional synchronicity, of being completely on someone's wavelength, understood totally, seeing wholly and being wholly seen.

[roguelioness]

idk the more i think about mythal the more i feel like. she was a convenient scapegoat.

not to dismiss the very real harm she did to solas by pulling him from the fade into a physical form. but. like solas her decisions were made from a place of desperation? and if the theme of veilguard is regret, mythal found hers through the centuries the shard of her lived in her various hosts. morrigan says the mythal in flemeth was tempered by years of living amidst the common folk (or something like that, I can't remember the exact lines). so she's had time to see the consequences of her deeds and regret them, and has been trying to atone by helping as best as she can through the ages.

but then there's suddenly a second shard that was mythal at her height as a ruler? and she has to be the one to release solas? when solas himself showed little remorse for killing flemeth, dismissing it as "that was not mythal, that was a fraction of the whole" - why does this shard suddenly have the power to be taken seriously by him when flemeth was not?

i always thought of mythal as similar to solas - trying to do the right thing, but her actions had unintended consequences. i believe, at the heart of it, she wanted to protect. if she really was as remorselessly imperious as that shard was, wouldn't she have prevented felassan - who wore her vallaslin - from aiding solas when he was actively rebelling against her? inquisition mentions her rallying the others to stop falon'din, mentions her fighting with a blighted andruil, mentions her mediating potentially devastating arguments between the others and getting them to calm. she had good intentions, like solas, but unlike him she didn't see the danger and thought she had it managed - and she paid the price for it.

solas being unable to face his regrets until being freed by mythal does him and injustice imo. for someone who believes so firmly in free will and the freedom of choice, to have his own will be insufficient to face his mistakes is... like, yes, he is called pride for good reason, but i wish the inquisitor (friend or romanced!) was the one to guide him to the realization that only he could set himself free

(not going to mention the whole thing about Morrigan accepting the shard after spending her entire life trying to flee her mother's intentions i hate that thx)

give me a regretful, benevolent mythal who mourns with solas. give me two platonic soulmates grieving the consequences of their actions and vowing to do better. give me ancient, immortal beings hunched over with guilt, their hands in their modern, mortal descendants who offer them strength and hope.

idk... the whole "shard from the dagger" mythal feels too much like a deux ex machina, designed to bypass the cutscenes and dialogue it would take for solas to come to a realization himself 🤷🏽

[dross-the-fish]

Do u think Solas would have killed Lavellan if it has been her instead of Varric?

to be honest I think he would have killed her if she had earnestly tried to stop him. It doesn't even mean he didn't have feelings for her but looking at his track record caring about people has not been a deterrent before so there's no reason it would have been at the time. Not for a person he's only known for a year and hasn't spoken a word to for almost a decade. Varric was his friend, Felassan was his friend, who knows how many friends he has buried because his mission comes first. That is something that has been consistent with his character, that he will put the mission above his own wants or interests. To a point this is because the game requires certain plot points to be met and the story would be over if he could be swayed before the final battle. That's partly why I don't like the idea of romanced Lavellan or the high approval Inquisitor being framed as somehow "exceptional." Because for 1000s of years no one else was.

Stripped to the barest components (time-frame, interactions, levels of emotional intimacy shared between both parties) there is nothing about the relationship between Solas and the Inquisitor that justifies viewing it that way. It would be a blip even in a regular human life time. I cannot think of any reason to justify why Solas would have spared someone he claimed to love but still held at arms length for a year when one of his closest friends of 1000 years wasn't worth sparing. And if he would spare a romanced inquisitor that doesn't make him look better. It doesn't redeem him. It just says he values his romantic relationships, no matter how brief and uneven they were, over everything else. It would make him a hypocrite and cheapen the one thing that works about his character. his commitment to putting aside his own feelings for "what must be done". I think the dissonance for me comes down to the framing vs the actual logistics and that's been my whole beef with Solas as a character where what I'm told doesn't match what I'm shown. There are people that will argue that Solavellan is a deep romance and it's well written but I've always felt like compared to the other romances it was a bit of an after thought and a very shallow experience that relies heavily on the player to create headcanons to sustain it. It's also one that requires you to create a character that is ultimately ok with never being trusted or treated as an equal and to some degree being willing to forgive being used. Let's not forget in the inquisitor's romance Solas has all the cards. He's the very reason everything in the game is happening and intentionally or not he is responsible for the current state of the world.

He watches the inquisitor shoulder the burden of cleaning up his mess and restoring order to the world but he never gives them more than breadcrumbs or nudges in the right direction. I think what i find the most repulsive is that he would have watched the inquisitor die unknowingly as a direct consequence of his actions while carrying on a romance with them. Case in point, in Trespasser when the mark IS killing the inquisitor it's still ultimately on them to do the leg work to track him down and find him. He's not going to come to them and he only even waits for them to catch up because he needs the anchor. He would not have been by their side or offered them any kind of comfort or protection had something killed them before they could reach him. The inquisitor could also have died at any point from the blight Solas caused in that 10 year span he was gone because they have been on the front lines the whole time. The inquisitor's survival has NEVER been his priority unless there was something he needed from them. He has always viewed them as expendable. He had already committed to thinking of them as a cherished regret. Which is why I fully believe he would have killed the inquisitor if it had been them instead of Varric, even if it was a romanced Lavellan.