#fein looks like he’s been hit by a car

[perkyperperk]

hello hbg/mcsr tumblr!

i humbly offer you these creatures……

[lnnlove]

somebody else | j.m.

summary: you and jj had only recently broken up after he wouldn’t commit to being in a real relationship with you. you’re at a party on a friday night at the boneyard when you notice him staring at you with the guy you’re moving on with. based on the lyrics to somebody else by the 1975.

pairing: jj maybank x female reader

word count: 3.3k

So I heard you found somebody else. And at first I thought it was a lie.

“Here you guys,” Kie says as she drops off some food at the table that JJ is sitting at with John B and Pope on the deck at The Wreck. It’s Friday afternoon, and they’re getting something to eat before they go set up for the party at the Boneyard.

She falls into the open chair in between John B and Pope, with her gaze falling on JJ as he starts eating. She doesn’t look away from him, but sits in silence with an all-knowing expression, waiting for him to realize that she’s looking at him. 

He finally looks up and realizes that she’s looking at him. He looks down at his shirt to see if maybe he dropped a piece of food, but sees nothing there. He wipes at his mouth seeing if there was something on his face. When he exhausts all of the usual reasons for her to be staring at him, he finally asks “What Kie?”

She exhales. “(Y/N) is here,” she says plainly, hoping not to come across to insensitive. She knows that he needed a warning before seeing you. 

“Okay... she has the right to go where ever she wants,” JJ tries to deflect, but he can’t suppress the sinking feeling that grows in his stomach. He tries to play it cool so that no one will notice. He hasn’t seen you since the fight that ended your relationship. He shakes the memories out of his head that try to creep their way in. 

“She’s with someone. They’re on a date,” Kie adds. She can’t make eye contact with him.

“What?” JJ spits out. He let go of trying to be cool. A memory of you crying in your car flashes in his brain and he feels a sudden pain like he’d just been punched in the stomach.

“That’s a lie,” he tries to laugh it off initially, thinking Kie must be joking. His fake smile fades when he sees that Kie is serious. “You’re kidding right? That can’t be true,” he says more serious as he shakes the feeling of guilt and regret back out of his mind.

John B and Pope have stopped eating now, looking around between JJ and each other, communicating with their eyes. They know that he’s not ready to see you, especially with somebody else.

“Why? You think she should still be hung up on you?” Kiara retorts. She is still a little mad at JJ for letting you go so easily. She loves you and wishes JJ wouldn’t be so stupid since all you wanted was to be able to call him your boyfriend publicly instead of messing around in private.

Yes! JJ thinks to himself. But he knows better than to say that out loud in front of Kie. How can she already be moving on when just a few weeks ago she was moaning his name in his ear and asking him if she could be his? 

“No, it’s just surprising because it feels soon,” JJ clears his throat and says quietly, almost under his breath, trying to brush it off like it’s not eating him up. 

It’s silent. No one knows what to say. Well, Kiara knows what she wants to say but she doesn’t want to kick JJ when he’s down. 

“You know what,” JJ breaks the silence. “I’ll see you guys at the Boneyard. I’m not hungry anymore.” And he leaves the table before any of his friends can interject. 

They notice that he walks the long way around the restaurant instead of going though it. 

I don't want your body. But I hate to think about you with somebody else.

JJ walks along the beach down to the boneyard in a mood that he can’t explain. He’s been wandering around for an hour since he left The Wreck, just lost in his thoughts about you. 

You don’t want her. JJ reminds himself every time he feels his thoughts slip to you. Yeah you made that very clear when you broke up with her. His deeper thoughts fire back and a flash of your face the night he told you he’d rather lose you than be only yours pops into his mind, making him stop in his tracks and sit down in the sand. He feels cold. 

JJ sits there for a long time, his mind going back and forth like crazy thinking about the night you last spoke. His mind doing mental backflips, trying to convince himself that he made the right decision and thinks to himself one last you don’t want her, not even just her body. 

But the thought of you with somebody else makes him feel an unexplainable sickness. He can’t stand to think about it any more. 

JJ instinctively reaches into his pocket and pulls out the bowl he packed for the party that night. He quickly lights it and after the first exhale immediately starts finding peace. He takes a few more hits and can finally pick himself up again, resting assured that he made the right decision in ending things with you. 

JJ gets up out of the sand and walks faster toward the party, eager to have some drinks with friends and distract his mind with something else.

I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone. And then leaving with somebody else.

“There you are,” Kie says to JJ as he approaches her, John B & Sarah, Pope, and some other friends sitting around a fire. JJ smiles and accepts the cup that his friend is handing to him. 

“Thanks,” JJ says and takes a seat in between John B and Kiara, catching up on the conversation that they’re having. He tries to join in, but everytime he opens his mouth, he changes his mind, so he sits quietly by the fire staring off into the distance and drinking his drink.

John B notices his oddly silent best friend and leans over to ask “You okay man? You’re really quiet.”

“Yeah, I’m fine just listening,” JJ responds without making eye contact. John B notices that he’s looking out at the party and knows JJ better than to pry any further.

Pope notices too, he sees JJ eyes moving rapidly among the crowd, scanning the faces and thinks he’s probably looking for someone to take home when he suddenly sees them stop and his expression harden, then soften, then harden again.

Pope follows JJ’s line of sight to a log around another fire. The glow of the flames illuminates your figure, lighting up your pretty face. Oh no Pope thinks to himself. He knows JJ enough to know that he’s not as okay as he wants the other Pogues to think, they’ve just been entertaining it so that he doesn’t push them away.

“Let him look,” Kie says quietly as she interrupts Pope’s train of thought. She hopes that him seeing this will make JJ realize what an idiot he was and maybe just maybe he’ll snap out of it.

You’re sitting next to somebody else on the log, trying to keep up with the conversation around you, but can’t seem to speak up in time to get a word in. The others are talking about things that you don’t care much about and you can’t seem to force yourself to fake it like you normally can. All you can manage to do is take out your phone and scroll through your feeds, thinking about times when you were happier, and pretend that you can’t feel JJ staring through you from where you noticed he was sitting.

You can’t even force a fake smile to fool him. She looks miserable, JJ thinks to himself while he stares at you across the beach.

I’m going over there, JJ thinks and just as he stands up, a girls he’s never seen before jumps in front of him and says “You want to get a drink?” JJ accepts and just like that, now he’s leaving with somebody else. Thank god she snapped me out of that. He thinks as he walks away with the touron who reminded him that he was right to end things.

No, I don't want your body. But I'm picturing your body with somebody else.

JJ leads the touron away from the party to a spot where he’s taken tons of other girls. He hasn’t even asked her name, but the dark side of his mind likes not knowing.

She hastily starts kissing him, JJ struggling to keep up with the sloppy kisses. JJ likes her eagerness and guides her down to lay on her back as he shifts himself to be over her. The movements spark a memory in JJ’s mind of the first time he can remember laying you down like this and how his heart was beating out of his chest that night. In his mind, he’s looking at you standing on the beach with your toes in the water motioning for him to come join you. 

No, I don’t want your body. JJ angrily thinks at the memory of you, wondering why he can’t get you out of his head, trying to refocus on the touron currently tugging at his shirt and pulling his head down hard to kiss her. This is the first girl he’s tried to be with since your fight. He’s trying to prove to himself that he was right, he wasn’t ready to give this up to be exclusive.

JJ is kissing her hard, trying to fein interest when in the back of his mind, he knows that he’s not interested. He’s on top of her now, with his blonde hair hanging down in her face for her to run her fingers through. When she does, he remembers how much he likes that feeling and has been craving it since the last time he had you.

(Y/N) used to do that, he thinks as she is scratching at his bare back. And now she’s doing that with somebody else. His thoughts backfires. He shakes it off.

Things progress rapidly and JJ thinks he’s ready. The touron reaches behind her neck and starts to untie her bikini top, but JJ can’t shake the thought of your body and how it fit perfectly in his strong arms. It’s the body he wants to see right now. And it’s the body that somebody else gets to touch and kiss and please, his mind won’t let up.

Before she can get the knot untied, JJ interrupts her and says with a sigh “I’m sorry, I can’t let you do that.” He can’t look her in the eye. He doesn’t want to take advantage of her like this when he’s picturing your body instead of hers.

“What? Is something wrong?” she asks. 

“Not with you. I just can’t give you what you want,” JJ responds and offers her a hand up as he stands up himself. 

Our love has gone cold. You're intertwining your soul with somebody else.

JJ walks back to the party alone, understanding now more than ever that he’s blown it with you. It’s over, he thinks. Our love has gone cold. 

He looks around desperately for you, all the places he can think you’d be at the party. You’re not on the log where you were when he walked away. You’re not dancing with your friends like you used to to impress him. You’re not sitting down by where the waves crash. You’re nowhere to be found. And neither is the guy you were with.

“They left,” Kiara approaches JJ, knowing exactly what he was wondering, and confirming JJ’s fear. She puts her hand on his shoulder and doesn’t say anything else, trying to comfort her friend because she knows he’s finally realized his mistake. 

I’m too late, JJ thinks to himself. But he realized his mistake too late. She’s intertwining her soul with somebody else. Because you wouldn’t give her that, his mind takes over now, a wave of sadness coming over him. 

JJ shakes the sadness off - avoiding it being his only defense mechanism when dealing with hard emotions. He can’t admit defeat. He takes a deep breath, puffs his chest, and nods his head. You can do this, he thinks. 

“Whatever,” he says bluntly, “I don’t want her anyway.” JJ walks off, keeping up his persona and leaving Kiara rolling her eyes and shaking her head behind him. She can’t believe he won’t let himself feel things.

I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone.

When JJ comes back to the party, his closest friends know what’s coming. They’ve seen this before. When he is hurt, he acts out trying to prove that he’s anything other than hurt. 

JJ fills his cup, downs it, fills it again, downs it, and fills it again. Drinking to forget it one of his favorite activities. He has to build up his wall against you and he’s got to do it fast. 

JJ is not sitting quietly on the log anymore. He’s shouting stories and shotgunning beers. He’s animated, making his friends laugh. He’s getting all of his energy out that’s been pent up all of this time. I’m fine, he thinks. See? I’m fine.

After two or three hours, he finally sits down in the sand away from the fire, just to catch his breath. He looks out on the ocean and to the moon, letting his eyes wander around the beach. His attention is pulled to a bright light down the beach, away from the party. At first he thought it was the reflection of the moon on the wet sand, but it was the light from a phone. 

JJ squints, trying to see who it was, but he immediately knew once the figure stood up. He could recognize your long legs and the way you walk from a mile away. 

He doesn’t know if it’s the sudden clarity he found about your relationship, or all of the alcohol he’s consumed, but he can see through your act. You’re lonely. 

JJ stands up and gravitates towards you. He can feel himself walking fast after you, as you walk further away from the party, looking at pictures of the two of you on your phone that you have to delete in order to move on. 

“(Y/N),” JJ calls out to you. You stop dead in your tracks, and drop your arm so that you’re no longer looking through your phone. You are scared to turn around and face him. 

I don't want your body, I don't want your body. I don't want your body, I don't want your body.

“(Y/N),” he repeats. His breathing is heavy, but not from running after you. You are still standing with your back to him, tears welling in your eyes at the sound of his voice. You can’t let him see you like this. 

“(Y/N) talk to me,” he demands. You swallow your tears and turn on your heels to face the boy that broke you just two weeks ago. 

The look on your face sends JJ spiraling. It’s the first time he’s seen you up close since your fight in the car. He feels an uncontrollable urge to take you in his strong arms but he knows he’s lost that privilege. There was a time when he would have done lots of bad things to anyone that hurt you like this, but what’s he supposed to do when he’s the one who did it?

“What?” you try to hiss out, but it comes out like a whisper. You can’t show how hurt you are so you try to mask it with anger. 

“I see you found somebody else,” JJ chokes out. He’s upset but he’s trying to act like he’s happy for you so that you can’t see. “That’s..... good.”

You ignore him. “I see you’re taking advantage of your freedom tonight,” you scoff back, hinting at him with the touron. 

It’s dead silent. Only the sound of the waves crashing on the beach offer any noise other than the heavy breathing and loud hearts beating between the two of you. 

“What am I supposed to do when I see you off with somebody else?” JJ growls in response. He’s angry now. 

“Oh so you can have your freedom to see other people but I can’t?” you scream back at him, using the reason he broke up with you like a dagger against him. You’re angry too. 

Before he can respond, you continue yelling “No JJ, please tell me why you’re allowed to break up with me because you’re not ready to give up random tourons to be only mine,” your words are sharp in his stomach, “but I have to sit around with a broken heart, not allowed to move on because I’m only yours.”

You stand there momentarily catching your breath. You haven’t torn your eyes away from JJ’s, staring daggers through them. “It must be because I’m not enough for you. Is that it?” You won’t let him get a word in because you’re scared of what he’ll say. 

You continue yelling, all the things you’ve thought for the last two weeks after JJ ending things that you didn’t get the chance to say to him then. 

It makes JJ’s head spin, realizing the pain he caused you and his doubts about his decision coupled with his cool exterior trying to show that he regrets nothing and that he was right to do it. He’s torn up. He turns away from you and brings his hands up to his ears to block out the fight.

I don’t want your body. I don’t want your body. is on repeat in his mind, trying to win over the side of his mind that wants to give in to you and admit that he made a huge mistake. 

“Really? Because you staring at me across the beach all night and following me out here and repeating that you don’t want me over and over again makes me think that you do!” You finally stop. 

JJ, instantly sober at the realization that he was saying that out loud, turns again to face you. You can see right through his act too. 

His face is flushed. He’s panting for air, and his heart is pounding. It’s like his voice is paralyzed, he can’t say anything. 

When he looks at you, you are soft again, finally quiet, and the tears that you have been choking back have spilled over, running the mascara on your eyes and catching the reflection of the moonlight as they streak down your cheeks. 

“And I still want you,” you break the silence with a whisper, your eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, bracing to be rejected again, ready to make that the last thing you ever say to him.

JJ barely heard it, but the small sound of those words coming out of your mouth finally convinced him that he made a mistake letting you go. 

He lunged forward, determined to close the space between you in this moment. In an instant, he is in front of you. You can feel his warm body and you’re looking up into your favorite eyes. It only lasts for a second before your face is in both of his hands and he is kissing you with such intensity that you have to hold on to him, to keep from falling down. You lock your arms around his neck and lace your fingers into his hair, making sure that he won’t pull away from you again. 

When he does, he can only pull away an inch or two with his forehead still pressed firmly into yours, just enough to get the words “and I only want you,” out. 

“I’m ready,” he says into your lips and you kiss him back with everything that you’ve been saving up during the days you were without him, thinking to yourself finally.

[captainhotch]

In Another Lifetime | Derek Morgan

Derek Morgan x Reader

Prompt: “You know, in another lifetime you and I would’ve made a hot ass couple” + “Ugh I hate talking to people about things— this is a nightmare.”

For once in your life the case that you and the team were working on was not nightmare fuel. Honestly, you shouldn’t have been working the case at all in your opinion— and if it wasn’t for the sheriff being an old friend of Rossi’s, you wouldn’t be.

It was a simple string of minor fires being set to old abandoned houses in a country town in South Carolina. The Sheriff was basically a cowboy, so how him and Rossi knew each other was beyond you. Nobody had gotten hurt, and being all of the buildings were uninhabitable there was no serious property damage.

Your theory was that some kid’s parents were going through a divorce and they wanted attention. Hotch has scolded you (with a humored smirk) and told you to take this case as seriously as you would any other. Of course thag wasn’t possible— not when the normal was literal murder, not some bored kid feining for attention.

You were all crowded into the board room of the small police station, officers peeking through the blinds when they thought nobody was looking. Pretty normal for small town officers who saw almost no action on the daily.

You were huddled into Derek’s side, arms crossed over your chest as you looked over the crime scene photos. The MO was clear and not one that screamed malice. Hell, you were pretty sure that the unsub would get off with no more then probabtion and a fine. They were honestly helping with demolition if anything.

Derek leaned over to look at one of the pictures, his hand resting on the small of your back for balance. “These are all exactly the same— no escalation, no harm, no real damage. It has to be an act of desperation, the unsub wants attention.”

“Nearly 80% of arsonists are males and 90% are white.” Spencer added, tapping his pencil against the wooden round table.

You could only roll yours eyes ar this point, all of the informatiom being thrown out was obvious. “A good majority of arsonists are white, angry middle class teenagers who are trying to let off some steam. I’d bet 100 bucks some kid is caught in the middle of an ugly divorce and is acting out.” You shrugged.

Derek bumped your shoulder with his—though the height difference meant that it was really his upper arm hitting your shoulder, though it had the same affect. “Sounds like you’ve got this whole thing figured out, mama.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “half the cops here have it figured it out.”

Hotch crossed his arms over his chest, looking at you with a raised brow. “Since you have everything figured out already, you can go with Morgan to interview parents of kids that fit your profile.” He responded his his usual monotonous voice.

JJ hid a grin behind her hand, knowing as well as the rest of you that the entire case was ridiculous (and most certainly did not need the entire team).

A few minutes later you were headed to the SVU with Derek, tablet with the files of the family in hand. There was 5 middle class white families with teenage sons going through divorce. A fact that made you snicker. If divorce made every angsty teen set things on fire, the United States would be in a hell storm.

You decided to work your way back to the station, driving to the house furthest away first. It was a small town, so of course it was a whopping 30 minutes away. What a journey.

You read the files out loud as Derek drove, your periodic comments resulting in a permanent smile on the man’s face. You exhaled loudly out of your nose after reading the last file, hitting your head against the rest aggressively.

“Maybe if I give myself a concussing I can go home.” You muttered, though the quiet in the car allowed him to hear it. “I hate talking to people about things!” You added, throwing your hands up in defeat, “This is a nightmare.”

“But you’re so good at it,” Derek laughed, looking over at you briefly.

You rolled your eyes, huffing, “Don’t try to sweet talk me. You’re a hit with divorced mom’s, you’re taking the lead on this one.”

“That wasn’t sweet talking,” he smirked, tapping your knee with the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel, “if I wanted to sweet talk you, I’d talk about how beautiful you are.”

You looked at him for a couple seconds before throwing your head back in laughter, blaming that for your pink-tinted cheeks. “Does that ever actually work for you?”

“I’m only worried about you, baby girl.”

“You know what?” You questioned rhetorically, turning to face the man, “I’ll give it to you. In another lifetime, you and I would’ve made a hot ass couple.”

“Another lifetime,” he scoffed, pulling to a stop in front of the first house, “I’m making plans for when we get back.”

You only rolled your eyes, unbuckling your seatbelt and gathering the tablet and your bag in your arms.

“I’m serious,” Derek huffed, running out of the car and over to your side so he could open the door for you, “It’s you and me, babygirl.”

[boss-stone]

BOSTON ‘BOSS’ STONE

[he/him, 23, Nov 3] Is that KJ APA?! No it’s just BOSTON STONE. From our interview we have heard that THE NEWLY OVERNIGHT PHENOMENON  is apparently a career who’s been living a lavish lifestyle in PHILLY with 500K followers! Now that they’ve signed a contact to pricelesshqs fans will be ecstatic to see them on screen. But rumor has it they are hard to deal with as they’re JEALOUS, NAIVE, LAZY. Fortunately for us we’ve heard they’re actually LOYAL CHARMING AND ADVENTUROUS.  Let’s see how they survive our show while they arrive in the luxurious life of pricelesshqs! 

AESTHETIC:

Recognizable Traits: Red Hair, Abs, Tatted, Tall, in shape, Workout Fein

Personality Traits: Musician, Pothead, does drugs, skates, lazy casual look when not in workout clothes, only dresses up for girls he’s into once comfortable. Really into girls, sex and sandwiches.

STATS

Name: Boston Stone

Nick Names: Boss, BS, Stoned

Age & Birthday – 22 years young, November 3rd, 1997

Siblings – 3 younger siblings on moms side, 3 on his dad’s. 1 step sister through his Mom - Mackenzie 

Parents – Marianne Waters, Married to now Mike. Father Jim Stone in a relationship with Gwen.

Birthplace – Philadelphia, PA

Current Residence – -

Occupation – Musician & Fitness Model

Sexual Orientation – Straight

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

Body type – Athletic

Height – 6′1

Hair color – Red

Eye color – Light Brown

Scars – Boston has one scar between his eyebrows from when he was a paper delivery boy & got hit by a car on his rollerblades

Piercings – none

Tattoos -  both shoulders, chest, arm tattoos, wrist tattoo and back tattoo - 7 in total

ABOUT

Boston Thomas Stone was named after where his parents conceived him. Gross, yes we all know and Boston hates it - hence the nickname Boss. He’s the boss of his own life and that’s how he wants to keep it.

Boss’ dad left him and his mom when he found another, younger woman to start over with. He was never fully in love with Boston’s mom but thought a child would save their marriage? He was in and out of their lives until he left for good, marrying someone younger and started a family.

He doesn’t know how or why his dad left, but thankfully it helped his mom find love eventually, but with an older, richer man. It is awkward as hell, but he’d rather be with his mom than with his bitch of a dad. Like, he abandoned them and Boss hates his guts for it. You will never get him to admit he has siblings from her new marriage.

When he was in high school, he was a mess. It was a hard ass time dealing with his anxiety, depression and abandonment/emotional issues all while being a teen, so he didn’t. He hasn’t dealt with it fully and really needs to. It wasn’t cool to cry as a guy or at least that’s how he felt. He went to therapy to make his mom happy, but did it mostly for the medications. That’s when his addiction issues begun

Boston was super into sports, always wanting to play football for the rest of his life and since he was so serious about it, he dedicated his entire high school career to making it into a D1 school. Once he finally picked a school, he started and thought he didn’t have to worry about academics. He never worried about them in high school, everything was just handed to him.

Once he was put on academic probation, his pride got the best of him and he dropped out. But he kept the money from the scholarship to fund the drugs and band he is in. Low Cut Dudes - LCD for short, is what the boys call themselves.

Girls are something that Boss has always used to take his mind off of things. From the time he was a freshman in high school, he lost his virginity and the thought that it was supposed to be something special. So now he just sleeps and flirts around because what is commitment? Everyone always leaves anyways.

Bro-friendships and close girls that are friends really mean the most to him, he doesn’t get close to many people out of his fear of letting people in. ‘Too good at good byes’ would lowkey be his theme song but he would cut you if you called him out on listening to Sam Smith.

Boss thinks eating is a personality trait, he loves to tease people, be flirty and be chill. He loves to watch funny videos, tweet, think he’s punny and like, make the sexual innuendos and the worst dad jokes but he’s super sweet under his tall walls but if you get to see that side of him, consider yourself important in his books.

Now Boston is newly rich, set up in NYC and ready to take on the world. This reality show is exactly what he needs right now to fix everything and get his music along with love life on track. Or at least he hopes?

FAMILY

Mom - Marianne married to Mike Dad - Jim married to Gwen

STEP SIBLINGS

Through Mike: 1 step-sister ( MACKENZIE MILLER )

[sweetpeachjones]

You Made Ur Bed 8

Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6 , 7

A/N: excuse the typos and grammer, and curse me out later for making you wait so long

After the ceremony at Davida House

OMG Sean, you should have been there.Y/N  was there being a total slut damn near sucking this nigga dick-

She stopped in her tracks when Sean jerked up wiping his nose. Davida looked behind him, and all she could see was a mirror with two white powder lines and a playing card.

"Sean, I KNOW you aren't doing what I think your doing, I thought you quit that." "I did but I just don't it recreational, plus I'm bored as fuck." "Well, how but getting a job." "You know how hard it is for a felon to get one, they see that on my app and its, don't call us we'll call you' type bullshit." "But bae you can keep you from trying I'm mean I got my ticket, she exclaimed rubbing her stomach, you need to get yours, I don't need some sorry nigga eating off my plate." "The fuck you say, I wasn't any sorry nigga when I had you in the diamonds n furs, dripping sauce. Nigga gon for some time and bitches want to get amnesia. "Yeah well times have changed, she said getting up taking off her jewelry, you need to get it together and clean that shit up now!"

Sean angrily cleaned the mess up and walked out of the room slamming the door hard.

One week after the pool incident at Eriks house

You sprained your ankle and fractured your elbow and a laceration above your right eye. You had a cast on your ankle and the sling on right arm and stitches for your cut. Against your wishes, Erik insisted you stay to get better and even took off to nurse you. He has been waiting on hand and foot and doing the sweet thing like washing n oiling your hair and make sure your cast was dry as he gave you luxurious bubble baths and even carried you to the bathroom. But you knew Erik this is his whole game to get you to stay.

You sat in the bedroom on the bed fluff high on pillows while Erik was in the other room. You needed something on the dresser but you didn't want to bother Erik, plus he was smothering so you were going to take advantage of his absence. As you reached, you fell out bed with a loud thud. You never felt so helpless and began to weep. Erik ran upstairs to see you on the floor as he picked you up you start to get angry.

"Get the fuck away from me," you sobbed as tried your best to hit him in the chest.

"Girl wtf is wrong you!" "YOU, YOU THE FUCKING CAUSE FOR THIS!", pointing to the cast and moving the sling. "This is your fault because of your fucked up ego." "Well, I did think you would jump." You looked at him, and before you blew a gasket, you calmed down, "You know what, you said coolly if I didn't make it it would have been a lot better than to married to you." Erik looked you in the eyes hoping to see the humor, but you were dead serious. "You don't mean that Y/N." "Oh yes I do, this marriage has gone to hell. I don't know why I stayed this long with your cheating ass and constant lying. You think Davida was the only one, I knew about the others, I know when you were out fucking them hoes ERIK!. I'd find hints: the perfume, lipstick, the missing earring in your car. I noticed the way you shower, or you were smelling like a different, soap I don't even buy. I just let you do your thing as long as they never had the guts to step out place I was cool, cause at the end of the day you are going to do what you want to do and you were home every night mainly. But you started to get reckless and shit with Davida, so I figured you weren't giving a fuck anymore. And had the bitch calling the house and your fucking student at that! The fuck was you thinking; you were about to risk it all for some broad? Really?!

Erik looks away, before answering.

"She reminded me of you before you lost the baby. She had that happiness, that joy, that light you once had. We clicked like me, and you used to."

You rolled your eyes at his last statement. He continued.

"After the incident, you became bitter and once you started drinking you was like a shell. Like I understand she went, and nothing will bring her back, but you got to move on. It was never my intentions to get her pregnant we stopped after a few times then she tells me. I love you more than anything; I'll do whatever I can to right my wrongs. But I will be a father to my child."

"You wanna right your wrongs, grant me a divorce. Well split everything down the middle and keep control of our organizations."

"You sure you want that"

"Yes I can't keep going on like this, I love you, but I can't be in a marriage with you."

Erik looked deep in thought. He sighed, "Okay if that's what you want. I won't hold you back."

Next day at Davida's House

"So how far are you now?" Erik asked. I'm 35 weeks so our Lil boy will be here soon," Davida answered excitedly.

"Cool well when you are going on your next appointment I'll be there. I'll be over later to help set the crib and baby stuff."

"I need you to set up something in my bedroom," Davida answered back seductively.

Erik catching the hint but didn't feed into it, "yeah like I said I'll be over to put the BABY stuff up."

"Mhmm, well see you soon boo." "Don't call me that," and he hung up quickly.

Davida just laughed as she put her phone in the car seat as she pulled up her driveway. She parked the car and remembered she had to set a date in the phone at the same time entering her front door. She didn't notice the five large men sitting on her furniture. She looked up from her phone and grabbed her chest as fear and shock took over her whole body.

"Who are you and why the fuck are you in my house?!"

"Be cool sweetheart," the smaller of the five spoke. He physically fit but wasn't as buff as the others." I'm Mike Love and we just looking for ya boy Sean that's all."

"I don't know a Sean." "See, I'm trying to be a gentleman here but you're lying is going to turn this into an UGLY situation, and you don't want that." Mike said coolly as he walked towards her stroking Davida's cheek. "Now I'll never hit a lady especially a pregnant one, but I can't say the same for my guys. They weren't born with sense." "I don't know where he is I swear, I go to school and work part-time," he goes where he wants to, tears streaming down her face. "Shhhh it's okay love I believe you. But you tell Sean to get at me asap; I'd hate to come back here again and next it is not going to be as pleasant."

Mike turned to his goons and told them to leave and just like that they were gone. Davida ran to lock the door behind them and sunk to the floor a blubbering mess.

Four weeks later at the lawyer's office.

Well, I have to say this was the smoothest divorce ever an easy way to make my paycheck." Erik lawyer comments as he finalized the paperwork.

Erik and Y/N sat across from each other. Neither of them looked up as it was too sad to look each other in the eyes. Erik was the most hurt, he felt betrayed, he felt like he was trying and Y/n was giving up months of progress screwed up by two days. He couldn't fathom life without y/n she had been with him since day one, she believed in his projects, his dreams and wished he could have given her whatever she wanted. So he cheated little fuck up compare to the husband his friends were. Even in the pants suit, she was wearing she looked like a goddess and all he wanted to do to take her away forget all this drama and start over.

Y/n could feel Erik staring. After all these years he could still make her blood rush just by one look. She always loved Erik deeply but how many times can he spit in her face. Plus being careless enough to get someone pregnant, the audacity of it.

She felt a nudge pulling her out of her deep thoughts.

"What's that." "I said do you, and Mr. Stevens agree to the terms of the divorce?" My lawyer repeated. "Oh yeah, I'm good are you?", Y/n said finally looking up at Erik. He nodded, and we both signed the papers.

"Well that's it you two are no longer hitched. Haha, I must say I've done sooner if only my wife wouldn't take everything. Women right." He playfully nudged Erik and Erik only stared at him.

The lawyers began to leave the room and Erik, and y/n lingered in the room.

Well this is it, Erik said

Y/n leaned against the table arms folded

"I guess so huh." "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a goodbye hug?" "No, it wouldn't."

Erik walked over in two strides stood in front of y/n and hugged her. He head protectively rested on top of hers as y/n slowly wrapped her arms around his chest. They stood like that for a minute until Erik kissed her forehead. Y/n leaned her head back some allowing Erik to kiss her nose; she leaned back until Erik pecked her lips. He pecked them again seeing as she didn't protest the first time. The third time he let his lips lingered as she kissed back. That's all he needed for confirmation. He gently grabbed her hair pulling her head back some allowing access to her neck. He kissed and sucked on her neck as if he was a vamp on his victim. They were too busy to hear the conversation of one the lawyers doubling back to find something. Once the door flew open, they immediately stop while Y/N's lawyer just stared as if they crazy, while Erik's lawyer smirk and closed the door.

Regaining common sense and more so embarrassed y/n pushed Erik back and fixed her shirt chastising herself while doing so. Erik just looked more frustrated as he fixed his coat. No words being said to each other as they head out of the office when they got to the elevators and stood on the opposite corners. Erik spoke first.

"Well, I hope we can friends after all this." "I don t know about that." "Aww come on y/n," he said walking towards her, "we have known each other for too long just to stop being each friend." "But u sneaky tho." Erik feined shock, "Me no," and he flashed those golden slugs and mischievous smile the y/n knew all too well. She laughed knowing this could be nice. "Yea whatever"

At Davida house two weeks back

Sean pulls in the driveway days after disappearing. Davida was waiting on him. Sean thought he could sneak through the patio. As soon he turned on the lights a glass cup was hurled at him, but he dodged it quickly.

"What the fuck." : What the fuck is right where have you been?!" Davida mocked furiously.

"I had some moves to do." "Liar u smell clean as fuck, so been u at somebody house, but I don't care who is Mike love and why the FUCK was he in MY house.

Sean's hearts stop. That's one name he did not want hear.

What did you say Nigga you heard me who is Mike Davida listens, Sean grabbed hold of her shoulders. I pissed off some significant and dangerous people, and for your safety and mine, I should not be here. Damn right u shouldn't, niggas come up in here seven deep, just what the fuck did you do? You remember Physco from our old neighborhood? You mean walk around with a machete in broad daylight Physco, him?! Yea well I had an opportunity to blame something on his baby brother in jail. I didnt know they were related, but word got around and by that time I was long gone.  

Feeling like an ass, Davida felt more sympathy for Sean. All this time she was hard, and he had a deathwish looming. She knew what he was up against and Physco was the type he wasn't gonna stop til there was blood.

Well, here I got some money n take my car. Take your car?! Yes, take it, ill tell Erik it was stolen n ill get another besides your safety is important to me. Ok but id have to go tonight. Tonight?! Yeah Davida sucked her teeth fine She went upstairs to her safe, put the code in pulled out 30,000 her women intuition was screaming "heffa are you crazy," but her heart wanted him to be safe. She wanted to travel with him, but the dangers that followed were enough to keep her back. She put the money in a crown royal bag along with the keys to her car and the passport and falsified documents that he asked him to do a while back when he was job hunting. She ran back down and gave it to Sean. He looked apologetically as he was taking away from a pregnant woman, sensing his hesitation she spoke. Please take it and when you get to a safe place ill come.

They embrace in what seems like the worlds longest kiss. Sean rushed out to the garage. Once he cranked the car and sped down the block, he never noticed the black Lambo following him. As the road twist and turned the car behind never missed a beat, and since they were the only two on the road, it was hard to lose them on a one-way street. Sean knew exactly who it was and turned off into the woods. Once he got deep enough, he turned the car off and lit a cigarette. Now or never he thought. As the Lambo neared the headlights nearly blinded him in the rearview mirror. He took his last drag as the passenger door to the Lambo opened up. Out stood Mike and Sean opened his door. The two men walked to each other and embraced in a lovers kiss! The tongue kiss was so explicit that the guard in the car started to get a little uncomfortable.

Omg bae I missed you, Mike said So have I, Sean replied So did u get the documents, Mike asked Of course, plus she gave me the car, you must scare the crap out of her. Well, I had to sell it. Breaking into her house, in that neighborhood, with five niggas was hard as hell. But worth it now that got my baby back. Let's go Paris awaits. Well what can we do car Either take it with us or better yet torch it, makes it more believable something happens to you. But she gave me this car Mike was getting slightly jealous, "And!?" Well I just don't want to torch it "Fuck that I'll take care of it," Mike walked towards the guard in his car mumbling, "Nigga act like he still loves the bitch or something!" "Hey!" motioning towards the guard. " I want to get rid of this car I don't care what you do I don't want to see it my sight again. SEAN!! let's go!"

The guard got out, and Mike and Sean got in the Lambo and drove off. The guard was left by himself in the car.

"Shit nigga crazy as hell baby mama bout to get a new whip!"

Present Day (After the Erik's and Y/N divorce agreement)

So your car was stolen?" Erik asked in disbelief as he works putting up the baby's crib and other items as Davida told her story sitting in a rocking chair. Erik made sure she didnt lift a finger, and she enjoyed every minute of it.

Yes, would you believe, right in my friend's neighborhood, I had to take an Uber home? I knew I should have stayed my ass home, told that girl to move out the projects.

Well, luckily you and the baby are safe. Ill hook you up I got a cousin who works for Honda.

Honda? The fuck! Do you want your baby mother and your heir riding around in some raggedy Honda? Because if I pulled child support, I can afford more.

It will be a current year! he pleaded. She stared at him motherfuckerly.

Alright, what you want? he asked

Momma wants a Benz!

Momma gonna have to clap them cheeks and suck a mean dick, and I mean to make that shit disappear for a Benz.

Aint like I done it before, Davida laughed, so how your wife anyway

Don't worry about her; he said what quick attitude.

Damn alright, I got to go to the bathroom, help me up these damn cramps killing me.

Cramps! What do you mean you in labor?

Not till the water breaks

As soon as she stood up she felt another cramp not so intense but bad enough to double over, Erik kept her steady.

I think we should go, do you have your things packed?

Yea in the downstairs closet in the foyer

Erik went to retrieve the bag as Davida wobbled to the restroom. She felt pressure and pushed thinking it was #2 when she got up she almost fainted at sight.

ERIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 21

Title & Song:  Stand By My Girl

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count: 2800+

Summary: Genevieve is a force to be reckoned with. An intelligent, independent and brutal businesswoman. She’s been intrigued by Alfie since she met him. But where will she draw the line between business and pleasure now that they are working so closely together? Alfie takes revenge into his own hands.

Warnings/Tags: Language. Fighting. Canon typical violence.

A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is Stand By My Girl by Dan Auerbach.

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes and comments feed this artist to write more!

My Masterlist. (Includes Parts 1-20)

He's standing in a side room of the bakery, bottom lip thrust under his mustache, staring at the door to the main warehouse. He's alone before everyone arrives. He's called you, his men have been instructed and now he waits in the quiet hum and ambient noise of the dusty sepia-toned room. He's focused, feet firmly planted, eyes half hidden under a heavy brow. His hand twitched around his pocket watch, anxious for the time to pass so his plans would be complete.

The brother of the smart-mouthed, recently tongueless Italian man you'd murdered at The Garrison had somehow found his way to him. He'd gone into the meeting with the expectation of it being some sort of con but it never came to pass. Therefore, he seized the opportunity to con them instead.

This man wanted you dead for family, the small group of men he ran with wanted you dead because they were paid to. He tells him he was behind the failed hit on you. Alfie nods slowly as the news hits his ears, the devilish smile that came across his face would've made a man with any intelligence flinch and run. But this one, blinded by his own stupidity and revenge wouldn't see Alfie coming until the bullet from the pistol in the drawer was already embedded into his skull. He accepts their proposal, spit in hand, calm distant eyes sending the men away without a suspicion in the world as to his deceit.

So he'd invited you to the warehouse for the evening, sighting he had something he couldn't bring home with him that he wanted to show you, he'd promised it would be a big surprise. He certainly was a man of his word. Even if he had twisted them to suit his needs in this instance. You believe him, and of course, you do. You trust him.

In following through with this plan, he felt a certain line crossed within himself. He was killing more Italians, that would miff Sabini, he was deceiving you by not telling you about the plan, but he needed you to not know so the men tailing you to the bakery would believe the sudden and swift arrest of you from your car was genuine. He had them do it in a location that would allow the men to not be able to reach the warehouse before Alfie would have all the other men killed before they arrived at the same fate. He has a duplicate car pull up slightly ahead of schedule and as the men on the roof steady to aim to take you out as you enter the bakery, Alfie has his men with their own guns in the shadows finish all but one for him.

So here he sits. In the muggy warehouse, staring at the metal double doors waiting, willing his needed outcome to come forth through that door. The man who hired him sits across from him in his office, he turns his face to the other side to the phone on his desk in anticipation, ringed fingers fidgeting in his beard, eyes alert and roaming. It rings, he excuses himself with a nod, putting his feet up on his desk, fingers on his free hand twisting the chain on his glasses as he nods and grunts into the receiver.

You're in custody. You're fine but you're furious. He can hear you screaming in the background, the muffled sounds of a door thudding rhythmically, he's sure your vicious little feet are beating against it in a rage only a scorned woman knows, your hands in cuffs, the pretty dress you'd worn all askew. He informs them in his few, shadow-like words to give you the letter he'd written and make you as comfortable as possible. He hangs up the phone with a nod, hand moving smoothly to his desk drawer as the man looks down the long corridor outside of his office.

Alfie turns to see what he'd needed to carry through on the action he'd just started. Olli comes in, bringing in rum that had been promised earlier with the group's arrival.

"That the call for the kill?" the man asks, looking out towards Ollie as he walks down the long corridor.

"Preemptively, yeah, mate." he responds with a series of nods, pulling the pistol from his drawer and shooting the man in the head, point blank before he even knew what had hit him.

"Well." he sniffs. "'At's 'at, innit it?" he says with a nod, thumbing his nose. "You know what to do wif 'im." he grumbles, pulling on his coat as Olli approaches.

"Where shall I send the barrels, sir?" he asks, taking the gun from his hands.

"I 'ont fuckin' care...Timbuktu?" he says with an annoyed shrug. Grabbing his cane and heading back home to wait for your release.

----------------------------------

As soon as you're out of the station doors you're reminded of how furious you are at his actions. You see Joseph holding the door open to your car as you stomp your way across the street. You stop before you bend to enter the car.

"Did you know about this plan of his, Joseph?" you ask harshly, shaking the previously balled and thrown piece of paper that holds Alfie's excuses, your body language reading hostile.

"No. Absolutely not Miss!" he shakes his head, his eyes wide and apologetic. You hadn't truly suspected him to be in on it, he'd just been available to take your anger out on. "Mr. Solomons sent me to get you as soon he returned back to your estate."

"Take me to the bastard, Joseph." you groan as you pull your dress angrily into the car with you. You sat and stewed in how mad you were the whole ride home. How could he not tell you about this plan that involved you? How could he embarrass you? To allow you to be arrested and treated in such a way? Had you let him forget who you were and what you could do? What sort of man kills to defend you, but won't impart the knowledge of the plans to do so to you?

He's sitting in a turned out chair to be facing you as you enter the dining room. He can tell by the quick trot of your feet that you've not taken to his plan well. He'd expected this and sucks his teeth, followed by a deep breath.  He'd hoped you'd understand his business strategy and take it in stride as part of being involved in business together. But apparently, you'd decided to take this particularly personally. He rises from his chair, head down and waiting for the abuse that was almost guaranteed to occur.

"Alfie!" he hears you screech before the maid even finishes her greeting to you. No Mr. Solomons used in reference to business...he knew you'd taken it all entirely personally.

"In 'ere." he shouts towards the doorway, facing your wrath head-on. He hadn't expected you to come in with this level of intensity after the long drive home but rage seemed like something you were never typically short on.

"Who the fuck do you think you are Alfie Solomons?!" you shout as you appear in full revved up form to be framed by the doorway. You looked a bit worse for wear than he anticipated, his nose flinched just slightly with the feeling of guilt.

"Well ya went and answered ya own question dinnt ya sweetie?" he says, shaking his head in obvious response. He can hear your huff of breath from your side of the room as your shoulders and hips moved in an almost sultry tandem as you stalked towards him, your hands in fists at your sides and slowly rising.

"I am so far past my limit for your smart fucking mouth right now Alfie I swear to God!" you say shoving him with both hands on his shoulders, he moves back slightly.

"Geneveive, calm down, I only did it for your own good now, you can surely see that, yeah?" his face more than annoyed at you laying your hands on him. You didn't care you wanted to tackle him against the wall and choke him with his own cane.

"I don't need you to fix my problems for me, Alfie! And to not TELL ME?" you shout in his face. Your shorter form rising on your tiptoes to press into his personal space, your shoulders squared, hands itching to grab hold of him and hurt him. "It was a consequence of MY OWN actions and you have NO right to interject like this!" you're shaking with anger, embarrassment, your pride was screaming for being assaulted in such a way. You feel like such a fool to have thought that he actually thought of you as an equal. You didn't need him to fit the role of protector for you because you didn't need or want it from him.  

He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off, your hand rising to point at his chest.

"You made me look like a fucking FOOL, Alfie! Leaving me in the dark like this?! I'm not some god damned damsel that needs to be fucking saved! Then I was fucking brutalized being put into that fucking police wagon?!" you screech, your body tensing so hard you jolt with the delivery of your words. He looks you over to see the bruises and scratches and tears in your dress to back up your statement, lump in his throat growing. "You don't try to pull the wool over my eyes when I'm the fuckin' WOLF Alfie! I am not some SHEEP to blinded from the harsh realities of our world!" you scream in anger, your face tensing as you do so, hands shaking.

"It weren't nothin' like that, Gen, yeah? They was gonna try to kill you, either way, weren't they? I see now I was wrong to think you'd see it rationally and not take it so personally." he pauses to roll his eyes and take an exasperated breath. Your eyes go even wider somehow, your nostrils flared, your teeth bared.

You can't help that your hand raises back to slap him across the face. The edges of your vision are glowing red as you look at him. That smug, wide-eyed feined innocence to guilt in his defense of himself. He catches your hand by the wrist and his bottom lip disappears under his mustache, sitting under his flared nostrils that exhaled angrily at you.

"Now don't go actin' like a child on top of this fit you're throwing now, eh?" he says, his head dipping down closer to yours to speak with a hiss of anger. You have the thought to hit him with your other hand and as the impulses from your brain shoot down to your fist he reaches out to grab it before it moves, he shakes his head and glares down at you as you struggle mildly in hopes he'd just let you go. You're relieved and annoyed that he's smart enough not to. "Ya gonna go actin' like a little girl everytime I gotta do business with ya and somethin' don't go your way?" he asks with words dripping of condescendence. You don't see any reason not to push back if he's going to continue his avalanche of disrespect.

You're so angry you just elect to make a noise of frustration and butt his forehead with yours, you knock his hat off with the force. "How dare you speak to me like that." your voice is low and heavy as your brow right now,  your face clearly reading hostile towards him.

"Or fuckin' what, Gen, yeah?" he asks, now more animated than he had been. He just uses his grip on your forearms to move your body and shove you away from him. "If ya go 'n hit me, yer only provin' me right, innit ya?" he asks, brushing his shirt off, leaning to reach for his hat that had hit the floor.

You don't think much in the next few seconds. Your muscle memory kicks in and you've tackled Alfie. Slamming against a side table that rested against the wall, knocking off candlesticks and vases of flowers before you take him down to the ground.

"Fuckin' hell, Genevieve!" he gruffs out as he moves to control your arms that are coming at him fast, your hands clawing at his throat to choke him. He uses his larger form to roll you over, pinning your legs down, you manage to get one arm free in the struggle, That one arm desperately grasping the ground above your head, it's met with the cold metal of a candlestick and you swing it at him like you're delivering a right hook and he moves off of you quickly, making the metal hit your tiled floor, cracking it. His eyes move to the chunk of misplaced floor your small but fierce frame has caused with the metal object. "Ya tryin' to fuckin' kill me?" he shouts, his eyes wide but a scoff still in his voice. You're already working on getting up as the object makes its impact, but he's already standing, knowing you aren't going to stop now unless he stopped you first. He knew of a knife you kept in a rather, intimate space on your body, and he knew he had to get it before you remembered you had it. This really wasn't how he'd wanted to get his hands on you.

"You don't deserve death you lying...patronizing...fucking... disappointment of a man!" you growl and pace your words with your movements, as you stand in a fighting stance. You lunge at him again, he spins and grabs you, holding your back against his chest and the constriction of your movements makes you shout and growl out in anger as he lifts your feet off the ground as you kick. "Get off me you fucking mongrel!" you shout and squirm. His forearm slips around your throat. You immediately kick the edge of the table, forcing his back with a hard thud into the wall behind him. Your hands hold a talon-like grip on his forearm, trying to force him away, causing your adrenaline to surge. Your hips are struggling against his, you feel one of his arms loosen and you aren't sure the cause of this for a moment until you feel his forearm grip even tighter around your neck. You squeak out as you feel his hand raising up your skirt. Your eyes are wide and you elect to use one of your hands, previously holding his arm back from restricting your air too much with, against his hand that was now grasping at your inner thighs. Your feet kick back and try to hit him but you're met with the stone of the wall behind him, you hit his legs and this proves to not be enough to deter him. You rasp out his name in hopes to appeal to his emotions, as your nails scratch up the back of his hand as it clumsily searches the apex of your thighs. If your face hadn't been red from the forearm against your throat it would have been now in a mix of intense vulnerability and another wave of rage. You gasp and realize what he's going after too late. His fingers tug the leather strap that sits high up your thigh and hip. You don't have time to dwell on the thought long of figuring out when he'd seen your thigh strap before. You feel the cold metal of his rings, the scratch of the sharp bits of the filigree surrounding the gemstones as his fingers slide in the crease of your squirming thighs, he tugs out the small switchblade-style knife.

You growl at him again, pushing one of your feet against his inner thigh, bringing your hips up enough to kick back and hit him in the general area of his balls. Which was good enough for you as he lets you go. He's doubled over, face just as red as yours, both gasping for breath. You grab his wrist and yank his hand that holds the knife away from him, taking it from him.

"You ever do business that involves me again without consulting me on it and I might just fucking kill you next time!" you shout, pointing at him with the knife still open. His screwed up expression looks to you as he reaches over to hold himself up on the edge of the table. He rests his weight on his elbows, watching you as the plethora of emotions you were feeling plays across your face.  You disappear in the direction of your wing, hiding your face before the tears that were in your eyes fell. He knows better than to chase you for any reason he may have, so he groans and shuffles his way back to his room.

Pt 22 You Should Be Glad You’ve Got A Man

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[faroutspaceman-blog]

My weekend so far. . 1/2 -1/4/19

My weekend starts off on Wednesday because quite frankly I can't remember what I did Monday or Tuesday. Those days are now non-existent. Forever lost in the trash bin of my deep ugly brain. Here I am laying on my bed, bored out of my fucking mind. I strum a lil guitar, sing a little, but put it back away because I realize I'm still as shit at guitar no less than I was 5 minutes before i picked it up. Now the only logical thing to do is sit and stare at my ceiling loudly moaning irritated grunts of boredom at my innocent ceiling. I get up and decide to make the most extravagant fucking sandwich. Well it was subpar, I usually put lettuce on it but we were out so I settled for a greenless burger. Whatever. I go to sit back on my bed and enjoy my sandwich, when I get a call. I fucking shoot up and tap that answer call like I just felt a rush of heroin in my blood. Thank the fucking lord. My brain almost had an aneurysm from how bored I was. My friend Vanessa and her Boyfriend (who happens to be my ex lover, love that..fuck) asks me if I wanna hang.

Me: "why yes I do want to chill, but if I'm still eating my sandwich by the time you pull up, your ass is waiting at the driveway."

Them: "we have Goldfish and Arnold Palmer's tea"

Me *while stuffing the whole sandwich in my mouth* : SAY NO MAS IM READY

I get on my new Blockbuster hoodie I bought the day before (yes from the world's only Blockbuster left in my Local Bend, Oregon.) And some jeans I found on the floor. I grabbed my keys and my bag and phone. Hiked up my driveway (which let me tell ya was a whole fucking mission in itself. ) Hall ass down my street I see Vanessa's car and they're driving like maniacs down my dirt road so I obviously take advantage of the situation and throw a peace sign into the air and lay in front of her car ready for my death. She stops and I hop in and am greeted with both my promised food items. I was very happy. We drive to a friend's house about a few miles from my house because we need to refill our pods with juice because ya know.. gotta get that nicotine rush. We had 8 full pods to last us the day. (They did not last for 3 people.)

After we fill our pods, we head down to Redmond, Oregon to the local 24 great Walmart to do what ever because we were bored, I decided to challenge my friends to a game of Hide n seek, and I was the only one who hid because they were being lame. I won it took them 40mins to find me. I was in the office supply Ile. After we went to Walmart, we went to Fred Meyers. stole their WiFi and lounged on their couches until it closed. Nothing special pretty boring.

Then Johnny, Vanessa's Boyfriend, gets the bright idea to swing by his house to see if his parents have packed up to leave to Idaho. If they are gone, Johnny plans to break into his own house ( I say break In because he just got kicked out.. again for refusing to be Mormon and for smoking and going against his parents) They are not gone yet so we decide to go to our chill spot which is way up on this hill where you can see all of Redmond. We talk, watch vines, etc.

Anyway I decide to go outside and look around, as I'm looking around Vanessa joins me. We are across from the car and we look around and I find this underwire leopard print bra a smashed TV and a lone boot. So I was already like "what the actual fuck happened here?"

I still forward towards the TV and there I see it, an empty grave, it looks fresh. I turn to Vanessa and she's already booked it back to the Car with me right behind her. We lock the doors and turn on Nextflix (we were watching Chappie).

Halfway through the movie, this man in a green Subaru pulls up next to our car. This is already fuckin weird because only few know about this road.he parks his car a lil ways from ours, cuts off his lights and just idles. At first were cautious but he just seemed to be doing the same we were, so our fear eventually subsided. We finished our movie, the car was still parked, and we pull out to check to see if Hunters parents had left. As we were pulling away we saw that the man had a blond haired woman in her car, but not to be rude she looked like a hooker. He was probably waiting for us to leave and we accidentally rang this man's bill up 200 an hour. Oops.

We checked Johnnys house. They're still there. Guess we're sleeping in the car tonight. We decide to try and find some food, we pull into Domino's and order a large pizza. As we're waiting for pizza, I joke able how I've cut my Cornea in the most retarted way to Vanessa's boyfriend. I move my hands to get the hair out of my face, and the string to my hoodie cuts my eye. At first I thought there was just something in my eye so I start rubbing it. It really fucking hurts. I close my eyes and black thinking it will go away but it never does. We drive back to the chill spot and on the way back, we see that green Subaru on the main Street leaving from our spot,but I saw no girl this time. Who knows we were gone a long fucking time. Must have dropped her off a few ways back. We get back in on the hill I manage my eye to keep the excess light out of it and my friends play Madea boo 2 on next. When the movie ends we decide to just go to sleep on the hill. I'm a little pissed at this point because I just wanted to chill and not murder my eyeball.

We put her back seat down and I'm on the far edge in the backseat wishing I never came because maybe if I stayed home this wouldn't of happened. Then there's a knock on the window. Not like an accidental hit it was clearly a knock. I dont say anything, it isn't acknowledged between any of us. I try and sleep and Johnny is freaking out

"dude are you fucking hearing this. It sounds like footsteps and dragging outside."

I don't hear shit so Ignore it. Then Vanessa starts hearing it. And I know she doesn't lie so I'm flipping my shit at this point. Vanessa jumps into front seat and She whips her car off the hill so fast we was cooking.

We end up driving back to Walmart to get me eyedrops in hope it'll make it better. As Vanessa is running in to get eyedrops, this girl stops us to ask if she can use her phone because her friends ditched her at Walmart ( what fuckin assholes. ) She waits away from our car for her friend, and she quickly comes back telling us that a man asked if she wanted a ride home and a smoke.we told her to wait with us because I was suspicious that it was the man in the green Subaru.

Vanessa's comes back with the eyedrops and we leave the parking lot without the girl. I strangely don't remember saying goodbye to her but we did apparently? We park in the neighborhood and get back into the backseat of the car. We play never have I ever until 4 am. We fall asleep and wake up at 6:30 am. I'm still asleep I. The back seat when I hear Johnny's happy that his parents are gone, he tries to look for ways back into his house but it's a no bueno. They drives to lowes while I pretend to be asleep on the backseat of the car. All I heard was lockpick and Saw and I already knew someshit was about to happen.

They park back at Johnny's house and I stay in the car. About 10 minute later Johnny comes back In the car and yells "we got it". Sweet so the lock picked worked? Nope they sawed a hole in the backdoor. He is for sure going back to jail after this. Vanessa guides me inside because I'm blind and can't see. We sit on the couch i call an eye doctor in bend and make an appointment for 4pm, for Johnny's uncle that happens to coincidentally be an eye doctor. He lives a block away from Johnny. Around 12 pm. We leave Johnny's house and go look for other things to do I. The area.

We pull into this Freshman's driveway,(Tom) and lets get this straight, Tom is fucking annoying and no one likes him because he is a fein for pods and nicotine, that and he thinks he's tough shit. Proud why he got excelled. We've had to help him with every fight he's been in. Trash.

We chill at his house for a while, and eventually his step mom walks in and kicks us out "get out of my house, I don't like kids having sex on my couch"

Honestly we just came over to steal his food. His step mom is such a joke. She has the biggest crush on our friend Jason. We could honestly break apart that whole marriage and cause such a scandle with that information. Anyway it's about 2pm now, my appointment is in two hours. We drive to the park and wait.

5 minutes later Tom skates to us on his long board, asks if he can hang and throws his board I the trunk.

Fuck. Just when I thought I was gonna get away from this kid. We drive by away from the park and go towards bend for my appointment. The whole car ride he blows his burnt vape in my fave and it smells like ass. I asked him to stop. He didn't. We stop at the grocery, I stay in the car, while Tom takes a smoke break out the car while Johnny and Vanessa shop. 3 minutes pass and he asks if I want a smoke.

"no that shits nasty"

"come-on. They don't even taste like stogies. They smell soo good*

He shoves the pack of cigs in my face and I was getting pissed. The only way to get rid of his prized cigs is to threaten his prized cigs.

"if you don't get that shit out of my face rn, I swear I'll rip them all up then spit on them"

"I'll beat ur ass if you do"

I just smirked at him as he took his cigs back and closed the door.

It's about 3:45 and we head to my appointment. Vanessa directs me to the office. And it's so bright in there, I instantly start crying which makes my eyes hurt even more. I honestly have never wanted to just instantly die in a moment than now. I just want to stop hurting. I'm finally able to open my eyes and the office by is actually very nice. I fill out the paperwork and the doctor sees me right away.

I try and play it smooth, talking about how broke I am, and how much I love Jonny so he'll give me a discount be because I don't have health Insurance.

Then he says "be in remember you, we played ping pong at Johnny's house during their Mormon party."

I had flashbacks to the Mormon party, and how we won the game, how I almost fucked Johnny in his car afterwards on the way back home. But it felt wrong because Vanessa was there. Then I remembered the hole in the back door.

"yeah that was really fun. I remember we won."

He didn't day anything he just put numbing drops In My eyes and this yellow dye. He looked at my eyes and said

"you have a 3 millimeter cut on your eye. You really did some damage"

"dammit"

He writes my prescription and im ngl I almost booked it out the door. But I waited instead. He me 120 for a 2 minute visit. Asshole. After I talked so nicely with him.

Me and Vanessa went back outside but the car was gone, so was Tom and Johnny.

We called them, they're a block or two away. We waited and waited, and entertained ourselves by kicking rocks to each other that made the best ear tingling noise you could imagine.

A couple minutes later the car pulled up and this girl other girl was in the car. Wtf man I just want to go home. As soon as we get into the car everyone is aguing about where we're going and Johnny wants to Trade My weed for pods.that he didn't even ask me if he could be trade. Which pissed me off A SHIT TON. johnny, Tom and this dumb dumb bitch kept arguing about pods and juuls. I realized how absolutely fucking retarted it is and how I never want to sound like that. I save all my shit to Johnny and just said " I quit" . We drove into Safeway gave them my perscription. Told us to come back in 20 minutes. Dropped dumb bitch off at her friends no house. Johnny traded my Weed for pods. And Tom proceeded to cuss out girl we traded with calling her names like fat ass, which I did not approve of. Tom commented on something and I swear I almost killed a kid in front of my friends. Tom was lucky that night. I would have strangled him if it wasn't for my eye.

We go back to Safeway and they try and charge me $47 for a $4 perscription. Fuck that. We transfer it to Walmart. We drive home, I'm the first to get dropped off. Thank fucking god.

My mom comes into my room, and hugs me and just listens to me sleepily jabber about anything.

Last time I'll ever sacrifice my subpar sandwich for goldfish and Arnold Palmer's.

Never again

[itsct]

Craving... you

The most intense craving she ever had was not a cherry pie or a piece of candy. It wasn't the smell of Del Taco fries that had her nostrils wide open ready to Inhale everything in front of her. It wasn't the aroma of fresh funnel cake leaving six flags or the feeling of skywalker laying her on her ass. Instead, it was the unshakeable need for the bad guy, the derogatory man, the one who knew she made him happy and deep down he wanted to give her more yet he refused to bend. The one who had the power to make her happy days better and to bring about the darkest clouds creating the heaviest storms you could imagine. She couldn't understand why her craving for him was so incredible, at least that was the lie she told herself. Why must indulging in the effects of his scent do so much to her? Maybe it was the way he looked when the sun hit him. So loving, so free, so unlike himself.  Perhaps it was his perfected habit of always wearing cologne, even to bed. As she lays next to him her nostrils are hit with the scent of sweet nectars and robust spices. Leaving her vulnerable when he would sleep anywhere besides next to her side.  She explored why her craving was so intense and she quickly discovered that he did this to her on purpose. He opened up to her on a different level than the other women had even had the chance to experience. Allowing the nights of dinners, bars, and his solo games of pool to take them deeper than the surface. The nights of dramatic arguments, leading to apologies, followed by moments of dancing in the clouds and splashing the television screen, candles everywhere, and all of a sudden they are in a cabin dancing in the snow.  Their imaginations always going, always wondering what if? Their thoughts opposite of one another, she wanting him so much that any piece of him could hold her fix and he fighting her so much that after two days of being away he can no longer check Instagram to see her smile. But why she was so addicted? Why him? No one ever knew. Her answer clear, logical, and true, he didn't hold back who he was. He was him. 100% authentic. Loving. Aggressive. Dogmatic. Unforgiving. Stubborn. Giver yet Never bending. Semi considerate but always Self-focused. Unsympathetic yet at the same time amazing. It was like watching a lion attack a gazelle, the gazelle enjoying the fields, prancing through the sun as the lion pounces on her. But the lion does not kill her. Instead, he swipes her with his powerful paw, in the perfect spot that allows her to survive yet always remember that he is the king. If she were, to be honest with herself, it's that exact balance of his reckless behavior and perfectly calculated actions that keep her yearning. Keep her throbbing. The undeniable magnetic energy between the two of them was something that she was unable to fight. She was filled with joy when he was around and when he wasn't she was feening for her fix. 90° in the air, Flowing with the wind as if she was a kite, in reality, she was enjoying the feeling of the sand between her toes right before the crash where the water meets the land. It's 2 am the waves are enormous, dusted with the froth of the salty ocean, and the glow of the moon dancing off of the water. The crash surprised her and drug her under, but she found her balance. The pull, the feel, the need to understand that he alone could be her source of energy, that he alone could motivate her, that he alone could stroke her brain and shift her perspective. The craving for him intensifying after every visit. She knew there were new levels to lust when she felt herself yearning for him in his presence, the feeling of wanting him intensifying, the need to have him around even though he was looking in her eyes. She knew then she wanted his heart, she could never fill her fix because he would never give her the hit she was looking for. Instead, leaving her in need of the only thing to curb her craving. He was smiling in this moment and she was unraveling he didn't know, she knew he didn't know because she had been unraveling since drink number two at BJs. Trying to keep her composure around such a saucy nigga. How sway? How ? How do you keep your cool around a man who never sweats, how do you allow yourself not to worry when he never worries? And in these questions, she discovered so much about her need for more. More knowledge, more fees, and more experiences. Her love for him overflowing like a fire hydrant hit by a car. Uncontrolled, unconfined, unpredictable, and a complete accident. She never knew she would fein for him in such ways. The feelings he forced upon her, the way he made her body feel, and the new levels in which he took her mind to were better than any indica she had ever indulged in , dankier than the loud scent spilling out of her bag, and smoother than the coco they had picked from the plants that morning.

Why ? Why is it so intense? More than any other craving she's ever experienced, every single time she yearns for him, she gives in. She has no control, but she loves it. She loves all of it. The highs the lows, the ins the outs, the smooth Ls and the quick Ws. Because when the opportunity arises and her craving is satisfied she feels as though she won the lottery. So many women had played their favorite numbers yet she knew the winning set. She experiences a high like nothing else and what gives her hope is knowing that she still hasn't even gotten everything she is craving. The craving.

[softeyzs]

Deadly Attraction!

Description: He was supposedly going to be gone for three weeks. Three weeks. Yet, that’s not the case. Johnny Seo. 21 years old; born February 9th, 1995. Blood type B, 183 cm tall. Lives in floor 3, apartment room C8. They had everything about the man whose apartment we’re using, yet apparently not the correct amount of time he would be gone.

Admin: Nan ♡ Chapter: (4)
Genre: Fluff, Suggested PG-13+? Action
——————————

I shifted in bed so the light wasn’t on my face. Turning around, I ran into a soft something, so I laid on it and started drifting back to sleep. Wait. No. This thing is breathing. Hell no. I sat up straight, looking to the side I was previously facing.

“What the hell, Johnny!”

“Mourning, Princess.” He smirked, lying his head onto his hand to sit up half way.

“No! What the actual fuck, dude. I thought I put your dumb ass on the couch!”

He pouted. “But it was cold and lonely! I didn’t want to sleep in a new place alone. Besides, I didn’t hear you complain until now.”

“I didn’t know you were here until now, you fuckin perv!”

He feined a hurt look. “What? I’m not a perv. I’m simply a loving person who loves to share that love.”

“Yeah, well your gonna share it to the couch tonight because I’m locking my bedroom door.” I replied, getting off the bed and stretching my arms.

I walked to the kitchen, looking over to the clock on the wall to check the time. “It’s 1pm?! Johnny, why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I yelled, frantically running my hands through my hair.

“You looked so cute and peaceful. I didn’t wanna wake you up.”

“What the hell…” I groaned in annoyance, “I seriously just waisted half the day in bed with an idiot.” I lightly hit my head onto the fridge door handles.

He chuckled at my response. “What are we having for lunch?” I stood there and pondered for a second. “You know what? I don’t feel like cooking. It’s Sunday for fucks sake. Let’s go out.”

He perked up with a small smirk on his face. “You mean like a date?”

“No! Just to go eat.”

“…so go out and eat on a date? Ok.”

“It’s not- ugh. Sure. Just know your going to training tomorrow so whatever.”

I sighed, trudging to my room defeated while Johnny looked satisfied and flopped onto the couch to wait. I opened the door to my room and shut it behind me, going to my dresser and pulling it open. I grabbed a random tshirt and jeans, getting my combat boots from the corner of the room and a hoodie hanging above the shoes.

Perfect. Before walking out, I grabbed my favourite brown hat and slipped it on. I walked into the living room, yelling at him to, ‘come on our I’m leaving your ass behind’.

He whistled when he walked iut the door. “Damn. Did you really dress up for me?” He smiled like a literal ray of sun. Too bad I don’t like the sun.

I scoffed. “Get your head outta your ass. Whenever I’m off from work I dress as comfortable as possible. There is no dressing up.”

“Whatever. All I know is I’m going on a date with a cute girl; wait till’ I tell my friends.” he laughed to himself.

“Wow. You have friends?” I laughed, getting the car out of park and pulling out of the garage.

“Haha. Very funny.” he faked a laugh and quickly changed it to a pout, turning to face the window.

I smiled to myself, driving on. Maybe this won’t be completely terrible.

—- I parked the car on the side of the road. “Where are we?” he asked, cocking his head slightly.

“I just like to park my car in a less crowded area. C'mon, the place is in the park over there.”

He looked confused but followed beside me anyways. After crossing the street, we walked through the entrance of the gate that read off the park’s name. As soon as we entered, he reached out for my hand.

“What are you doing?” I asked, but surprisngly didn’t pull away.

“I might get lost.”

“How are you gonna get lost? There’s literally only like 6 people here, dude.”

“…I get lost easy.” he replied, looking away slightly. Still holding my hand, he added in, “Besides, I don’t know where we’re going. You have to show me.”

I sighed, pulling him along the path until we reached the fountain. I smiled lightly. “I love this place.” I murmured under my breath.

“Is that a taco stand?” he laughed, following behind me. I greeted the man inside, giving my order. I looked back at Johnny, only to see him already staring at me.

“Are you gonna get something?”

“Oh! Uhh…yeah, yeah.” his eyes scanned the menu quickly, blurting out a random number. We stood to the side, letting another person order.

“So, how long have you known about this place?” he asked looking over at me, making small talk.

I sat and thought about it. “Hmm…I don’t know, honestly. It’s kinda always been here. My old friend and I used to go here..” I trailed off, becoming unfocused on things around me.

Johnny looked over my features, honestly concerned. Just before he could say anything, the food truck salesmen yelled out our order number.

“Order 7! Please come get your food!”

“Oh! That’s us.” I mumbled, walking over with him to go get it. I thanked the cook and opened the bag.

“Honestly, these are the greatest things ever.” I said, smiling slightly and holding one out for him. He took it skeptically, and we walked through the park, eating and talking.

Passing by a basketball court, we heard yelling. “Johnny! Hey man!” someone shouted. He turned to face the court and beamed that amazing smile torwards a man’s direction.

Honestly I never realized we were still holding hands. So when he ran to go see said screaming people, I was forcefully dragged along. He’s lucky my burrito didn’t drop; he would’ve been dead.

“Hey dude. What happened? I haven’t heard from you in like two days…” the man trailed off as he looked over at me standing behind Johnny.

“Who’s that?”

Johnny smiled. “This is Hannah. She’s my-”

“Partner.” I cut in. I nudged his ribs and gave him a look. Don’t tell him anything.

The man gave a teasing smile.

“Partners with what?”

Johnny laughed, so I answered for him.

“Shut the fuck up. I swear all of you are dicks.”

The guy laughed at my comment.

“My name’s Taeyong. I’m one of Johnny’s friends! Come on, the rest of the gang’s over on the court.” He smiled, waving us over to follow him.

I looked Johnny in the eyes and whined. “Do I really have to?”

Johnny grinned and gave a short 'yep!’ in response. He then drug me over to the court as much as I whined and protested.

“Guys! Meet Hannah!” Johnny yelled, grinning like an idiot and waving his free hand at a group of people.

Looking around at his group of friends, I kept a neutral face. At least, until my eyes landed on him. Shiiit. This might be a problem.

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: February 2020

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of February 2020 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

The issue with the Tory government being stuffed with morons and sociopaths is that it leads to solutions such as their new immigration policy which equates anyone earning less than £24k a year with being an “unskilled worker” so therefore not eligible for a visa...when in reality that is unreasonably raising the bar, which becomes immediately obvious when you realise that the majority of entry-level positions within the NHS are paid less than that per annum.  But fret not, they also have a solution in the sudden gap of 8m in the workforce, namely having the “economically inactive” fill the gap...even though that figure is primarily made up by the elderly, the terminally ill, and students who are currently working on that “low skilled” issue whose post-graduation salaries are estimated at around £18k a year 

Unelected bureaucrat/organ grinder Dominic Cummings had a genius idea for proven liar Boris Johnson’s first cabinet reshuffle: eliminate anyone who might possibly have any semblance of an idea of their own (plus Esther McVey) and install a bunch of unthinking drones into the cabinet who will all follow his specific instructions...which sounds a lot like communism, doesn’t it?

We should almost thank Andrew Sabitsky for proving exactly what Dominic Cummings’ directive of “misfits and weirdos” really meant, namely that what Cummings wanted was somebody whose track record includes saying that black people are intellectually and genetically inferior on multiple occasions, calling for forced contraception for the lower classes and attending eugenics conferences, and that’s somebody who fits the profile of being appointed special advisor to the Prime Minister

In the latest example of The Department of Work and Pensions appearing to exist for the sole purpose of committing an ideological genocide on the lower classes, it emerged that they had been destroying reports of former claimants who committed suicide after their benefits were stopped - and had been doing so since at least 2015

Has anyone noticed that proven liar Boris Johnson didn't show up in Yorkshire with a mop and bucket when it was flooded again?  Or did anyone notice that, when the official line was given that he didn't want to cause a media frenzy by showing up and instead wanted to put his feet up at a lakeside mansion to do...whatever it was that he was doing, it appears to have forgotten that he didn't mind showing up in flood-hit areas with the resulting media frenzy when there was an election campaign going on?

The estate of George Orwell will want a word with Lee Cain following his role in proven liar Boris Johnson’s “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” moment where he divided journalists into two groups before a Downing Street briefing, before telling journalists from one of the groups - who were from the Mirror, Independent, Huffington Post and PoliticsHome, that they should leave as they are not welcome

In the latest example of Question Time being an echo chamber for the far-right, they bussed in two-time National Front candidate Sherri Bothwell to sit front and centre of the audience and be the person to ask the first question of the show...if going off on a rant about how we should close our borders constitutes a “question” - although it does constitute a blatant violation of editorial guidelines

Smirking cretin Priti Patel demonstrated her statesmanlike credentials when facing a question about forced deportations in the House of Commons...by getting the hell out of the chamber before she could even hear the full question, presumably because staying in the chamber would potentially involve having to face scrutiny or criticism and that’s not how the Tories work

It’s no surprise that the FBPE mob responded to the first anniversary of the formation of The Independent Hashtag Group for Hashtag Change UK Hashtag Ltd by hand-wringing about how a potential force for good in British politics failed, because if they didn’t they might have to accept that their blindly believing in one “centrist” neoliberal careerist after another, from Chuka Umunna to Jo Swinson to Jess Phillips and numerous other examples aside, played a large part in why man of the people/proven liar Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is currently Prime Minister

Good to see the Chinese government coming up with the best possible solution to the Super Magic Chinese Megaflu of DEATH epidemic by...adding World War Z to the ever-growing list of books banned by the Chinese government.  I don’t know why, though, it's not like it says Xi Jinping looks like Winnie the Pooh or anything...

Of course the English media responded to the Irish election result, where the incumbent Fine Gael lost out to a combination of Sinn Fein gaining the most first-choice votes and Fianna Fail getting the most second choice votes by reporting why this was the case...oh who am I kidding, of course they bloody didn’t, they only looked at through the usual English-centric prism and assumed that Britait was the reason why Fine Gael lost out, completely ignoring there was a unique consensus between all three parties that Britait is A Bad Idea that has also led the bigheaded gobshites from across the water to treat the irish like some second-class citizens who should shut up and fall in line behind their imperialistic masters

Once again the point-missers of the internet seem to think that you can use suicide rates as the basis for a game of Top Trumps, as there was a depressingly vocal section who responded to Caroline Flack’s suicide by comparing the number of suicides related to Love Island to the number related to The Jeremy Kyle Show as if it’s a football match and Love Island is currently “winning” 3-2

It was a busy day for smirking cretin Priti Patel as she had to simultaneously deny *deep breath* that MI5 have been actively withholding sensitive information from her as they see her as a threat to national security (and have grounds to see her as one...), that she hasn’t been bullying Home Office staff since getting her feet under the desk, that she didn’t force anyone out of the Home Office because they wouldn’t blindly follow every insane directive she could think of and it’s just a coincidence that attempts were made to remove Sir Philip Rutnam from the department...at least until Rutnam called her a liar, that is

Self-appointed voice of all Jewish football fans David Baddiel was as predictable as he was vocal in his disgust at the Oxford English Dictionary changing the definition of the word “Yid” to include Tottenham fans, leading to him howling about how Spurs fans have no right to reclaim the word while pretending that he doesn’t know the reason why Spurs have reclaimed the word, namely their regularly being serenaded with chants about Auschwitz, gas chambers and the Holocaust by Chelsea fans since the 1970s due to the club’s Jewish identity.  Chelsea fans such as...David Baddiel

Littlest Englander contender Douglas Carswell gleefully took to Twitter on February 1st to say the UK hadn’t collapsed into a pit after leaving the EU...meaning that either he doesn't understand that the UK is still in the EU as part of a transition period, or he knows this but knows that his followers don’t know this so thinks doing a victory lap during the warm-ups is normal

You would think that The Jewish Chronicle admitting that they fabricated stories of Louise Ellman being an antisemite and having to pay her damages would have gained more traction, but by complete coincidence they were being drowned out by David Baddiel and Stephen Pollard coincidentally throwing out a lot of think pieces about how Tottenham fans are the Third Reich unlike those nice, reasonable Chelsea supporters... 

Of course Blizzard were going to have to issue a statement addressing the launch of Warcraft 3: Reforged going so well that the game has a record Metacritic user score of 0.5 at one point, but Blizzard being Blizzard the “apology” was more along the lines of saying they were sorry that fans didn’t get the game they wanted, in other words trying to transfer blame onto them that the game shown in the teasers bore no resemblance to those in the finished game while pretending that there hasn’t been a cascade of criticism about their new policy that says any user-created mods will become Blizzard’s own property, in other words admit fault...which they never will

The latest non-logic from the BBC states that, if a Tory MP refuses to appear on any of their programming, they will cancel the appearance of whichever Labour MP that was also booked, in other words responding to the Dominic Cummings issuing a media blackout by silencing the Opposition in his stead

What better advertisement for Australian policing than Mark Thompson taking a moment to forget that he was Detective Inspector for the murders of Hannah Baxter and her children when her estranged husband set their car on fire before killing himself and instead decided to suggest that maybe she nagged him too much and that’s what led to the tragedy

Becoming a homeopathic mentalist hasn't done Gwyneth Paltrow any favours, considering that the second that there was so much as a whiff of criticism about he waffling about coffee enemas solving all ills on her Netflix show she responded by howling about how valid criticism from qualified health professionals is “clickbait” and not, say, valid criticism from qualified health professionals

Nobody seemed to explain to Dele Alli that posting a video on social media cracking jokes about coronavirus isn't a good idea as people are going to see it, and more than anything else spend a good couple of days flooding Tottenham’s Twitter feed with “DID YOU KNOW DELE ALLI MADE A RACIST POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA???” more times than anyone is willing to count

What a great piece of advice Ninja gave to everyone, namely that if you lose in a video game the only sane and rational response is to get angry and, if you don’t, this makes you “weak”

So much for “Mad” Mike Hughes and his attempt to prove that the earth is flat by using a homemade steam-powered rocket, as instead he made a reasonably-sized crater in the San Bernardino desert which proved that the earth is pretty goddamn hard when you plow into it from several thousand feet in the air while going at an estimated 350mp

Good to see that Jess Phillips is handling her failure in the Labour leadership race well, with her mouthing off at an event commemorating female journalists by harrumphing that it’s a pity that Labour has never had a female leader...while both Rebecca Long-Bailey and Lisa Nandy remain in the leadership contest

And finally, a little more puffed up than usual, is Donald Trump and his sociopathic response to the Republicans allowing him to slither out from the sights of impeachment which was rewarded by him bringing down the axe on anyone who put the party (or, you know, country) ahead of him, which somehow looks less deranged than him mouthing off about Parasite winning Best Picture at the oscars because something something trade deal

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – International News From Around The World

Thursday 6th July 2017

Good Morning Gentle Reader….  Thick Heavy cloud hangs over our heads as the two intrepid adventures set forth to find new discovery’s in the land called Spain, … I was woken by the sound of heavy rain drops splattering on the sidewalk, it only lasted a moment or two but it was enough to change the smell in the air as the dry earth drank the nectar from the sky bringing life and vitality to the plants and the grass.. Our walk was short as impending rain darkened the night sky even more, the wind was increasing and the trees groaned, so being prudent, we turned, no stars, no moon, gibbous or otherwise, and returned to the comfort of the house and you Gentle Reader… no coffee this morning as I have a blood test at 8am…

NEWS YOU CAN GET YOUR TEETH INTO..PIZZERIA UNVEILS 'PIZZA-KINI,' A $10,000 BIKINI MADE FROM REAL PIZZA…. New Jersey-based pizza chain is celebrating the upcoming National Bikini Day by offering a $10,000 pizza bikini made from real pizza. Villa Italian Kitchen, a pizzeria chain founded in New York and based out of Morristown, N.J., announced customers willing to shell out $10,000 can get a custom-fitted "Pizza-Kini" for one day only July 5, National Bikini Day. The restaurant said it teamed with New York food stylist Jessie Bearden to craft a bikini from dough, which is braided at the top and waistband to keep it in place, as well as 100 percent whole milk mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce and pepperonis. "Each of Villa Italian Kitchen's Pizza-Kini's are fully customizable, from choice of toppings like pepperoni, sausage, peppers and onions and more, to its personalized fitting to the body type of each customer," the company said. Each one-use-only bikini costs $10,000. "The cost of the Pizza-Kini includes an initial consultation and measurement session, creation of the customized suit -- including topping preferences -- and final fitting. Those interested in placing an order for the most delicious swimwear on earth can do so by sending a direct message through Villa Italian Kitchen's Facebook page," Villa Italian Kitchen said. "We look forward to providing this unique style to the pizza and bikini loving public this summer -- we are confident it will be a hit," said Mimi Wunderlich, director of communications and digital marketing strategy for Villa Italian Kitchen.

STAYING WITH BIKINI’S… CZECH POWER PLANT APOLOGIZES FOR USING BIKINI PHOTOS TO CHOOSE INTERNS…. A nuclear power plant in the Czech Republic apologized for asking Facebook users to help choose interns from a pool of bikini-clad candidates. A since-deleted Facebook post by CEZ's Temelin station included photos of 10 recent high school graduates wearing bikinis and hard hats and asked visitors to the social media page to help choose "Miss Energy 2017," who would be awarded a two-week internship with the company. "We think photographs are very tasteful," CNN quoted the deleted post as saying. "The combination of beauty and the industrial environment gives an interesting result." The post resulted in a flood of criticism from Facebook users who decried the competition as sexist and unprofessional. The company apologized in a Facebook post two days later, saying all 10 women would be offered internships. "The purpose of the competition was to promote technical education," the post said. "But if the original vision raised doubts or concerns, we are very sorry."

NO BIKINI’S BUT NORTH DAKOTA LAWMAKERS: SUNDAYS ARE FOR WIVES TO SERVE HUSBANDS…. A pair of North Dakota lawmakers are under fire for defending the state's Blue Laws by arguing Sunday is for wives to serve their husbands, not go shopping. North Dakota's Blue Laws, which require some businesses to open late on Sundays and others, including car dealerships, to remain closed all day, were the subject of a debate on the floor of the state House of Representatives. Rep. Bernie Satrom, R-12th District, argued against changing the laws, saying Sundays are for "spending time with your wife, your husband. Making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed and then after that go take your kids for a walk." Rep. Vernon Laning, R-8th District, offered another reason to keep the Blue Laws on the books. "I don't know about you but my wife has no problem spending everything I earn in 6 and a half days. And I don't think it hurts at all to have a half day off," Laning said. The House voted against getting rid of the Blue Laws. Satrom and Laning have come under fire from the public for their sexist comments. "It's frustrating personally because when you know those are the people representing you and you don't feel like you're being represented and those kind of backwards ways of thinking are still present, it's really, it's upsetting," Fargo resident Sarah Cramer told Valley News Live. The North Dakota Woman's Network called the comments "regrettable humor" and suggested legislators should take policy-making for female constituents more seriously. Satrom did not respond to a call for comment, but Laning laughed and said he does not understand why anyone was offended by his statement, which he said was meant to be a joke. He suggested people offended by his words might be lacking a sense of humor.

IRISH LAWMAKER'S REMARKS INTERRUPTED BY HIS OWN MUSICAL CHRISTMAS TIE… An Irish lawmaker's attempt to address the legislature on a serious matter was interrupted by his own poorly-timed musical Christmas tie. Aengus O Snodaigh, a member of the Oireachtas -- Ireland's parliament -- with the Sinn Fein party, was addressing the body Thursday on the issue of workers being exposed to asbestos in the parliament building when his microphone began to pick up some electronically produced music. The source of the music, a rendition of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," soon became apparent -- O Snodaigh was wearing a musical Christmas tie that was somehow triggered at the inopportune moment. Jan O'Sullivan, a Labor party lawmaker, joked after the incident that O Snodaigh should "turn off those ties" because they "might interfere with Santa's flight path." … I think ties like that should only be warn at Christmas not in the middle of summer.

NORWEGIAN PRIME MINISTER CAUGHT PLAYING 'POKEMON GO' IN PARLIAMENT – AGAIN…. The prime minister of Norway was caught on camera playing Pokemon Go in parliament -- and the current speaker had previously been caught doing the same thing. Prime Minister Erna Solberg was captured by a photographer for newspaper Klassekampen playing the popular augmented reality game on her smartphone Tuesday during a debate in the country's parliament, known as the Storting. Solberg, leader of the Conservative Party, was seen playing during remarks from Liberal Party leader Trine Skei Grande. The prime minister told TV2 news she didn't think Grande would mind, seeing as how she was caught on video playing Pokemon Go during a parliamentary Storting committee hearing in August. "I think that Trine will like that I opened the game while she was at the pulpit," Solberg said. Grande confirmed as much with an aisle-crossing tweet in support of the prime minister's game-playing habits.

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, Thursday morning… …

Our Tulips today are Yellow Summer Tulips.....

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Thursday 6th July 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus