#feet people (don't make this weird)

[emporium]

Crabs Everywhere Socks • $10.00

It’s my pledge that is 2023 we are going to have crabs everywhere. On your devices, on your feet, they’ll be a crab for anything and everybody.

75% Cotton, 21% Nylon, 4% Lycra

Crew Length

Fits Most Feet

Men’s Shoe Size 7 – 12

Women’s Shoe Size 6 – 11

[leidensygdom]

Artfight mods consider my profile picture to be the height of body horror :/ (has 7 eyes. apparently 6 is the maximum of eyes they allow. let's not talk about how the random character function is almost unusable because you will land into extreme untagged fetish characters every other roll, but hey, priorities)

[shoechoe]

i could say a lot about anasui as a character but from a solely design standpoint... you guys. he is literally just diavolo but worse

[naughtynoodle056]

manifesting even more kind generous and horny feeders cross my path. I will be treated like a princess by current feeders and future feeders I’m manifesting it and it will happen

[wild-at-mind]

Any time a bird is in captivity of any kind without fail there’s someone who shows up and goes ‘:( so sad, it should be FREE!’ Which, I’m very aware of the problems with cagebirds, but someone does this every time including when the bird in question is very clearly a genetic freak of some sort. For example, a rescue aviary near me used to have a lovely fantail dove, who according to volunteers was extremely friendly and loved cuddles and sitting on people’s heads. She’s passed away now, sadly, but on the aviary facebook there’s an old video of her and someone has put one of those comments along the lines of she should be in the wild. But she was so visibly a product of human selective breeding it was unreal. She had a huge, bulgy chest and her neck was bent so far back that the resting position of her head was on her back. If her eyes weren’t on the sides of her head she wouldn’t have been able to see over her own chest. Not all fantail doves look like this, but this one was so extreme looking that they had a little sign on the aviary reassuring people she was alright. I just wondered where exactly this commenter imagined she would belong if all the birds in the aviary were released into the wild and somehow back into their ideal habitats. There’s nowhere in the world outside of in the care of humans where a bird looking like that would be remotely ok.

[riverofrainbows]

If someone asks me to move seats based on "we want to sit together and we see that you are alone" that is a declaration of war. Bitch who do you think you are? I am having flashbacks to my whole school life, you are getting absolutely nowhere. I will not move a single inch, and i do not give a fuck if you passive-aggressively stare at me the whole journey or start crying because you can't get your will and i am being so mean to you, it's a simple favour why can't people be nice in public. Could have thought first before you declared my decisions and wants less worthy because I don't have a gaggle of friends with me.

[writterings]

gravity falls is so funny through robbie's pov

>be me, 15 year old emo in a bumfucknowhere town

>lives in a funeral home. my parents embalm bodies twenty feet and an entire wall away from where we cook dinner

>have a friend i want to be my girlfriend

>she starts hanging out with her boss' (???) twin niece and nephew outside of work hours even though they're like in elementary school

>friend becomes your girlfriend

>weird shit happens around these twins. conscience store ghosts, a weirdly pixelated adult man beating you up, your dirt bike gets stolen, your girlfriend's boss and his nephew make your gf break up with you???

>gets memories erased at some point

>suddenly in love with only other female friend, like instantly in love and it's like this came out of nowhere but she's so perfect and you loooooove her it's so great don't question why there's a part of you that doesn't remember ever actually falling in love with her. also those fucking twins had something to do with this again.

>apocalypse happens

>mfw im apparently part of a secret key of people that can save the world by holding hands but it gets fucked up last minute by your ex's boss fighting with his twin over grammar (did he always have a twin?? why are there so many twins??)

>the ritual you were a part of failed. you were supposed to be a special person and part of saving the world but nope. that failed.

>get turned into a statue

>apocalypse ends and you have no clue how or why

>things like immediately go back to normal

>still with girl you don't remember falling in love with

>the twins just fucking. leave the town. and now there's two of your ex girlfriend's bosses around. no one ever explains how or why any of this has happened. you still live in a funeral home.

[whatyousae]

lover boys who are down bad for you, worshipping the ground you walk on like you are some goddess. if someone asks how did they pull you they wouldn't know what to say.

"i don't even know man.."

he patiently waits for you to finish trying on all the dresses that caught your attention in the mall. carrying your bags hell he even knows how to wear your purse without making it look weird on him.

switches shoes with you when your feet starts to hurt from all that walking, offering to carry you on his back. when you get home you always give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you gift.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

you often ask him that question, he says he likes watching you do your things. he does, but that's not the real reason. he loves the way your eyelashes look when they are curled, the way you pout your lips when you think so hard about something, how your eyebrows are furrowed when you get upset at something.

he buys you small things or expensive things because he thought you would like it. huh? so what if it's nearly the rent of your apartment? as long as his girlfriend likes it he has no regrets.

he flexes you when he notices people are googling at you, showing them that no one can have his pretty girl. only he can.

he just loves his pretty girlfriend so much and he is not afraid to show it

kimetsu no yaiba: RENGOKU, tanjiro, zenitsu, giyuu, GENYA, gyomei

jujutsu kaisen: YUUJI, choso, gojo, geto, NANAMI, YUUTA, inumaki

bluelock: ISAGI, bachira, kunigami, REO, karasu, KAISER

bungo stray dogs: dazai, SIGMA, tachihara, chuuya, FUKUZAWA

hunter x hunter: kurapika, LEORIO, phinks, wing

2024 @whatyousae — do not copy, translate, or post in any platform.

[tojigasm]

I've Got a Thing About You, Baby

Warnings: kissing, pet names, Logan shotguns the reader, cigars, smoking, fluff, domestic logan

It's late one night in the summer that it happens; when the air's still warm under the moonlight and the crickets hum against the breeze.

You've been watching him for the past hour or so. The trickling of smoke dancing into strange shapes and pretty lines through the screen door of the mansion, leading out to the back porch.

It's far past your bedtime, and the rest of the students and professors have long since retired to their own bedrooms.

Except for you, that is. A part of you too exhausted to actually sleep and the other too anxious to.

If you listen closely, you're able to hear the bird fountain from the garden.

You can hear the rocking chair sway back and forth against the chipped wood of the porch.

A weird feeling passes over you. It feels like the heat of the sun on a spring day, and it settles into your stomach warmly.

That feeling reminds you of home often.

You can't tell if Logan knows you're awake – scribbling away at your notes for the day and sipping Coca-Cola from the bottle through a straw. If he does, he doesn't make it known.

It's only when you make your way towards the back door, bare feet padding against the cool wood floors that you know he knows.

You wait by the door for a moment, gripping the neck of your Coca-Cola bottle as you watch him take a drag of his cigar.

You've always thought he was beautiful. The dark tufts of his hair and hazel eyes, paired with the brute strength he bears, was Renaissance-like.

You briefly wonder if he'd been alive that long.

"Y'gonna come out here or just keep staring at me like a freak?" Logan's voice breaks you from your spell and has you pushing past the screen door instantly.

You sit down in the rocking chair across from him, pulling both of your knees to your chest and your Coca-Cola to your side.

Your eyes follow him as he takes another drag of the cigar, thick brows relaxed as he exhales a pillow of white smoke and sinks into the chair.

"Why aren't you in bed?" You ask, thumbing the ends of your pajama bottoms

Logan snorts at the parroted sterness in your voice. You had to've picked that up from Jean, he thinks to himself.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He hums with a slight shake of his head, tapping his fingers holding the cigar against the armrest of the chair.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Hm," He picks at the fabric of his jeans momentarily, "is that why you were hiding behind the screen door thinkin' I couldn't see you?"

"I wasn't hiding!" You nearly jump from your seat, almost cringing at the hightened squeal of your voice.

"Right." He smirks from behind the cigar, voice laced with sarcasm as he takes another drag.

You watch him for a moment. Your skin warm from the summer air, a shiver runs up your spine.

There's something oddly paternal in his demeanor; legs spread as he rocks himself back and forth in the chair, flicking his lighter shut and throwing it back into his jean pocket.

Logan looks up momentarily, meeting your gaze through his brows, and just as quickly as he's turned away to blow smoke out into the hot air.

"Never smoked before." You comment, crossing your arms over the fronts of your legs.

Logan hums, "Good. Bad habit."

"Can I try some?"

Logan hesitates. Eyes meeting yours sternly.

"Aren't you a bit young to be trying to get people to pass off drugs to you?" You can hear the smirk in his voice before it's visible on his features.

You roll your eyes and place your Coca-Cola bottle onto the floor beside you.

"Never been one to try and get people to start bad habits." Logan adds, picking at his nail absentmindedly. "Seems to happen around me anyways."

You don't say anything to that. The pads of your fingers still folding and twisting the fabric of your pajamas.

An owl hoots from somewhere across the garden, and the crickets sing in the breeze again.

Logan turns his head towards you and folds his free hand behind his head, taking another drag of the cigar before turning it towards you.

You feel stuck. Suddenly, very aware of where you are and who you're with and the uncomfortably humbling fact that you have no idea how to actually smoke.

You hadn't realized you'd only been staring at his hand until Logan's voice peeks through your mental fog.

"C'mere, baby."

There's something domestically paternal in the deep of his tone that nearly makes your knees buckle as you shyly make your way over to him.

He makes room for you in his lap, guiding you to sit on one of his thighs.

"Y'never smoked before?" He reaffirms, resting a large hand over both of your thighs.

You shake your head.

The sound of his lighter makes you turn before Logan pulls you back towards him, lighting the end of the cigar again.

"I'll hold it fr'you. Just take a deep exhale like you're breathin', easy peasy."

You nod, watching the tobacco simmer at the end of the cigar, illuminating Logan's hand in an orangish red hue.

There's a moment of quiet where you're lost in thought, memorizing the preparedness of it. You turn towards Logan at the silence to see him watching you already, a thick brow arched.

"You gettin' shy on me?"

Immediately, you fluster at that, shaking your head with a "uh, uh." Before leaning down to wrap your lips around the end of the cigar.

Logan meets your eyes with a warm smile, "uh uh," He chides, voice pitched in mimic.

You giggle lightly before inhaling from the cigar.

It's warm against the back of your throat; a burning stroke that has you pulling away, coughing instantly. Your mouth feels dry and cotton-like as drool fills your mouth in an attempt to relax the forgein feeling.

"Woah," Logan chuckles loosely at you, stroking his hand up and down your back. "Y'okay?"

You give a weak thumbs up, smiling wobbly before bursting into a fit of coughs again.

Logan reaches for your coca-cola bottle mid giggle, bringing the straw up to your lips.

"Here, drink this. Yeah, there y'go."

The drink cools your throat, soothing the dry attack on your lungs as you gasp for clean breaths of air again.

Logan keeps his hand on your back, letting you relax into it.

"Y'okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I didn't realize that it'd be that aggressive." Your voice still scratchy.

"I probably should've told you not to take such a deep breath," He strokes his hand over the curve of your jaw. "Sorry 'bout that, kid."

You wave him off, "it's okay."

Logan takes a drag of the cigar, thumbing it between his forefinger and middle.

"That is a bit strong, huh."

You nod.

"Here, I might have a better way to do it."

You watch as he tilts his head upwards, holding the cigar to his plush lips as he takes another inhale.

The glow of the auburn porch light creates a halo around his hair tufts and makes an outline of his sharp nose.

He blows smoke through his nose, hardly acknowledging it.

You're entranced with how easy he makes it seem, as though he's been throwing back cigars for the majority of his existence, and for all you know, he has.

Your betwitchment must be obvious on your face by the way Logan peers down slyly at you midst another drag.

He motions for you to come closer to him, curving his hand to hold your jaw steady.

Parting his lips some, a small whisp of smoke trails from his mouth as he softly says, "Open."

You can smell the burning tobacco, and it settles a warmth into you.

You part your lips, jolting slightly in his hold as he exhales the cloud of smoke into your mouth with a cocky smile.

The smoke is much easier to take this way – already diluted by whatever super regenerative powers he holds.

Logan brings you closer to meet you in a kiss, dragging his tongue over your lips and past your teeth to stroke the insides of your cheeks.

You're completely at his mercy, shivering and whimpering in his hand.

The plush of his lips has you grabbing at his forearm and gasping against him. You can feel him smile into the kiss with a hum.

He pulls off of you with a 'pop' before relasing his hand from your jaw with a smile.

"That better?"

You reduced to just stare at him.

"Maybe I need it one more time." You say under your breath, and you're almost afraid he doesn't catch it.

"Yeah? One more?" He asks, moving to hold your chin again.

"Mhm," you nod.

[dcxdpdabbles]

For Danny, gravity is a suggestion, but when he's human he prefers to feel ground under his feet while he's thinking. This leads to him often not realising he's started walking on the wall or ceiling when he's lost in thought or otherwise distracted.

Tim's definitely normal human friend Danny, pacing on the ceiling during his third visit at Wayne manor: [ranting about something, probably defending his love of weird flavour combo milkshakes]

The Batfam, silently debating how they're gonna break it to Danny that he's a meta: ........

Tim's eyes follow Danny as he starts pacing around the table, his homework abandoned on the table. His voice is becoming sharper, and his words are strung together more as he continues. He noticed that he became less aware of his surroundings when his friend started going on his rants.

Watching Danny's body language become slightly less human was fascinating. It started with his eyes—if Danny felt angry, they would glow green. Tim always knew when to cut back on his teasing whenever he saw the flash of green, no matter how brief the green was.

When Danny rants about something that upsets or makes him sad, his voice gains a particular echo. It is almost as if he is slowly walking into a cave.

There were times when Danny got excited or happy; his hair would start to puff up slightly. This reminded Tim of when he would rub a balloon on his hair to study the positive and negative charges.

Danny's hair didn't flout straight up, but it was electric enough to be noticeable if you paid enough attention.

It was as if his emotions affected his physical form like a mood ring. Tim could always tell what Danny felt by watching for the little effects.

All these little things were easy to hide. Most people noticed less than Tim did, but there was one little quirk Danny did that was rather hard to miss.

"What if we talked about the effect of well-lit street lights on crime rates?" Danny asked, striding up to a wall and casually pacing on it. He continued to think out loud, with his eyes closed, as he made loops on the ceiling. Tim needed to pay more attention to the subject of their presentation, but he was somewhat distracted by how Danny's hair and shirt defied gravity.

They stayed perfectly in place as if his friend were still on the ground and not upside down. Tim wondered if his powers were less flying and more gravity-shifting.

It would also explain his lower degree of super strength if he could manipulate gravity. (Tim didn't care what Danny claimed in gym class. No regular human could lift two punching bags like nothing, especially for something as casual as cleaning up)

Or maybe he was able to move in a fifth direction. From his perspective, while Tim was stuck in 3D, Danny could move in the fourth and walk on the ground. It would explain why he didn't notice he had stepped on the walls or ceiling. To Danny, he never left the floor.

"No, that wouldn't work," Danny mutters, making loops around the chandelier. "What if we...but then that would mean...."

Tim couldn't make out most of his words, but that was fine. Danny also tended to mutter under his breath when he was deep in thought.

He cranks his neck back, eyes tracing the way Danny seemed to strut around as if he was out for a walk on a nice sunny day in the park. Carefully, making sure Danny was too distracted by his thoughts, Tim aimed his camera phone at him.

He takes a few photos and then opens the family group chat.

Tim: I need advice on gently telling a friend something that may change our friendship. I've tried to say it to him before but he doesn't seem to get it.

Jason: buy him some flowers and write him a poem. He'll love it.

Steph: That's terrible advice, Jay. No one does that anymore

Jason: No one has class anymore, you mean. Besides, boys deserve to be romanced, too.

Dick: Just tell him how you feel, Tim! Be direct and make sure you use the words "I like you romanticly." Sometimes people don't understand you're asking them out.

Damian: Do not bother me with your failed courtships.

Duke: Maybe don't go as far as Jay said, but Dick's right. You have to say, "Go on a date with me" or something.

Steph: Try the bend and snap! It's Elle Woods-approved!

Tim: No, that's not what this is about. I need help telling Danny he might be a metahuman with Superman-level Power.

There is a long pause before his phone vibrates again.

Damian: I beg your finest pardon?

Bruce is typing.....

Tim: He's friendly! He just has yet to notice that what he does isn't regular.

Jason: Wait, isn't Danny that kid we saw you at the ice ring with? The one that snuck up on Cass by accident?

Tim: Yes

Multiple people are typing.....

Tim briefly glances up to see what Danny is up to, and he is surprised that Frost has started developing in his footsteps. That's certainly new. He attached the photos to the chat, sending them off as Danny slowly floated back down.

He watches as his friend flips horizontally in mid-air so that he's standing upright when he lands. His hair is starting to puff up again, so he is not surprised when Danny's eyes snap open with a gleeful glint in them.

"I figured it out, Tim!"

"That's great," Tim tells him with a smile as Danny eagerly returns to his seat. He is babbling about the solution to their government class and how he knows he can get their proposed bill passed with the correct narrative.

Tim watches frost develop around his pencil and chair. Fascinating. Does that mean excitement? He almost forgets about the family group chat while attempting to figure out what emotion Danny is experiencing to connect to frost that he missed a few messages.

Bruce: Tim, where are you?

Bruce: he made Cass jump because she didn't hear or see him coming. That's worrisome.

Bruce: He could be dangerous

Bruce: Where are you

Bruce: Tim, answer me

Bruce: Timothy Jackson Drake, answer the phone right now

Dick: Oooooohhhh middle name

Damian: They are in the left-wing dining room, Father. I already have a visual on them.

Damian sent a photo of two teenage boys sitting at a table, bending over to look at a book together. Papers and pencils are scattered around the stranger while Tim's trusted laptop is in front of his part.

Bruce: Good. Keep them in sight at all times and report any suspicious behavior.

Damian: Naturally.

Steph: No DNA test is needed

Duke: Literally.

Cass: I am confused. I thought we all knew Tim's boyfriend was not human?

Jason: We did not, in fact, know that Cass.

Cass: It is obvious by the way he moves that Danny is not a meta-human. He is close to one, but he moves like a different being. He reminds me of Captain Marvel.

Multiple people are typing......

[suiana]

(yandere! saw x gn! reader) (i actually haven't watched saw so idk how the game works 🤓☝️)

"and for your final challenge... you have to kiss me, now."

"aw hell nah, can you just kill me instead?"

"w-what?! no absolutely not!"

you watch as the male visibly twitches, freaking out on the spot as he faces the camera. he was literally panicking, gripping his microhone as you watch a bead of sweat drop down his forehead.

"no! it's either you kiss me, or you die! don't you understand?! you have to kiss me! it's like, the only option!"

"nah, i ain't kissing your clown looking ass. just kill me already dawg."

you remain calm, eyebrows raised as you tap your feet against the ground impatiently. there was no way in hell you were going to makeout with this man thing. he looked like a murder clown from 1900s with his black and white makeup and suit!

and even thoigh you thought you were freaky, there was no way you were going to kiss that doll turned man. nuh uh. that is downright insane, even if he does look hot. i mean, this guy killed people! led them to death games that none of them eould survive to begin with!

why?

cause he liked you, duh. the game was rigged apparently. you found that out from him when he sneaked around and tried holding a conversation with you. it was mostly just him talking though. flushed cheeks and stuttering and all. it would've been cute if he weren't a murderous doll.

"so? are you gonna kill me now? I'm actually not gonna kiss you."

"no! ugh! you're so stubborn! just kiss me already damn!"

he groans into the microphone, glaring at you down the cameras before he disappears momentarily, holding a big red button with the words 'do not push' underneath.

"if you don't kiss me now, i will press this button."

"what does it do?"

"make you do things. silly things. with me, of course."

you stare at him, silence filling the room. what the hell? you couldn't even get a chance to respond before he presses it and out came a chair which you were forced to sit down on.

"what the- a chair? you're gonna give me head?"

you stare up at the screen, only to realise that the oddly attractive doll-human had disappeared. damn it. so he really was going to get all up and physical with you huh?

you watch as he pops up from behind, a grin on his lips before he kneels down by your feet, face against your lap. he looked... weirdly calm and at peace for a doll that just led someone to their death a few hours ago. but you suppose it's because he's not human. well, fully at least.

"oh, so head it is-"

"no not head! what the heck?!"

the doll screeches, hands digging into the legs of the chair. he whines, throwing a small tantrum before his rosy cheeks get even rosier (if that was possible? and his eyes grow all wide. you raise an eyebrow at his silence, frowning slightly before yelping as he suddenly starts begging.

"ahem! do you want to be my lover? uh uh who said that?! okay okay, do you want to be my big sweaty alpha lover? WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?!"

what the hell?!

"uh..."

"i meant- do you want to be my sigma lover who will peg me- WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?!"

"please just kill me."

yeah, now death is sounding like the much better option than being the lover of this weird doll. hey! maybe smashing your head against the chair would work!

[evilvillain123456789]

you are not a cannibal. you make centaurworld animatics set to lemon demon songs. you watched hannibal during the tender childhood age of 17 and it made you annoying. if you were actually aroused by cannibalism you wouldnt be blogging about it like you do. you wouldnt be saying the things you do. why don't you learn some german and hit up the forums? right, you can't, because the authorities hate us. but not you. where were you? reading fanfiction? beat off in front of me right now. prove yourself. cannibalism is in vogue cause of you freaky deaky "ex catholic" types but i know your ass was mormon or protestant or shit like that & your childhood church was an ugly grey room. i know your ass never got to taste the wine cause you went to liberal church that takes a stance against underage drinking. & your jewish mutuals told you that you were being weird about angels so you started being weird about the eucharist. well i'm here to put a stop to it. lets be real here. you kill someone, or stumble across a body, your ass is not taking a bite. you lack the strength to remove a limb. i bet you wont even stick your dick in. you freeze up. because nobody on this website really gets a boner from the thought of eating a dead body. and if they do they are running a blog that posts pictures of dead mangled real life bodies in stages of decay. Or they know damn well to keep quiet. Theyre not on tumblr beside you. Theyre far away from people like you. and even if they didnt run a gore blog, i'm sure they know better than to bare their true feelings. because they know prosecution. nobody on tumblr for normal people like these things. & he/they who says so in the replies, or reblogs, or tags from which below, is lying. straight up. its just an aesthetic. you say its a fetish but its an aesthetic. you are fucking lying. you are just annoying. go post about stinky feet and getting boypreggers and leave the real shit alone cause once you get out of your cute little circle of tumblr kinnies and come into contact with a guy who actually gets a big big sloppy boner from the thought of writhing in filth inside and out, you are going to call Whang.

[incorrectbatfam]

The batkids (and their partners/crushes/friends) with pride month hcs?

Tim: Lady. Gentleman. Bart. You are about to meet my boyfriend. Now remember, he doesn't know I'm Robin, so you need to act like human people. Can you do that?

Kon, Cassie, and Bart: Yes sir!

Bernard, entering: Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm so glad we're going to Pride together.

Cassie: *lasso immediately falls out of her bag*

Kon: *lasers the ground at Bernard's feet*

Bart: Hi, I'm Impulse.

Tim: *facepalm*

Bart: What? We didn't give away YOUR identity.

———————

Steph, running a food truck: Pride snacks! Get your Pride snacks hot 'n ready! Get two-for-one on the bi-rria tacos!

Margie: I bet you don't have anything for straight pride. You know, the rest of us normal people.

Steph: Yo Cass, one cishet sizzler!

Cass: *throws coffee in Margie's face*

Steph: That'll be $19.99.

Steph: *turns the screen around for tips*

———————

Selina: *wears a shirt saying Free Mom Hugs*

Bruce: *wears a shirt saying Inclusive Dad Jokes*

Alfred: *wears a shirt saying Weird Grandpa Stories*

Kate: *wears a shirt saying I'm Just Gonna Tell You To Dump Them*

———————

Harper: Since this is your first Pride, we're gonna show you the ropes.

Duke: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Harper: Over there we have the Batgirls food truck. Over there is Cullen's evil mafia boyfriend selling Uno cards. And over there is the Justice League in Justice League themed drag.

Cullen: And over there is the porta potty.

Duke: Only one?

Cullen: We ran over budget. But it's gender-neutral.

———————

Renee: Kate's busy telling people to dump their partners. Mind if I hang out here?

Harley: Not a problem! Want a bi-rria taco?

Renee: Nah, but I'll take the les-beans if you don't want them.

Ivy: We were just about to start a game of Gay Uno.

Renee: Gay Uno?

Harley: It's like regular Uno except when you put down a +4 you have to kiss.

Renee: Deal me in.

———————

Jason: You take the Main Street entrance. I'll cover Atlantic up to Washington. Rendezvous here in an hour.

Roy: And then we make out?

Jason, sighing: Sure.

Roy: Sloppy style?

Jason: This is a PG-13 post, Roy.

———————

Dick: Of course I make people question their sexuality with a face like this.

Wally: Sure, your face...

Wally: *glances down*

Donna: You guys are exhausting. I'm joining Roy on patrol.

———————

Barbara: Welcome to the annual conference of Sapphics Who Used To Date Dick Grayson. Helena, what's the first item on our agenda?

Helena: Discussing forming a polycule over dinner.

Bette: I already made a reservation.

Kory: I call braiding everyone's hair.

———————

Luke: Thanks for giving me a hand with the fireworks.

Carrie: Of course. By the way, I have something to tell you. You're the first person I've told.

Luke: I accept you.

Carrie: Thanks, but I was actually gonna say that I scratched your car in the parking lot.

Luke: WHAT?!

Carrie: Also I go by she/they.

———————

Lois: How on Earth did you burn your cape at a Pride festival?

Jon: Well...

[earlier]

Damian and Jon: *watching the fireworks*

Damian: I like that flower one.

Jon: *shoots into the sky to grab it*

Damian: *facepalm*

Tim, sitting nearby: You and me both.

[ur-fav-is-banned]

official merch tags lmao 3/11/2023

good luck to that tag I refuse to click on it

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Common Dinosaur Mistakes

you know the "bunny hands" pose everyone does to indicate t. rex? with the hands folded down, palms facing the chest? yeah. almost no dinosaurs could do that. it would break their wrists. only one unique group evolved to do that, which doesn't include any of the Jurassic Park dinosaurs. the term for this is "pronation" and actually the vast majority of land vertebrates can't do it. mammals can. mammals are weird.

not a single dinosaur has claws on their fourth or fifth fingers. not a single one. not even if they're quadrupedal.

most dinosaurs have very stiff tails and can't wiggle them around like a lizard tail. the tails were stiff for balance.

the "tongue flick" thing that lizards do is a lizard thing. dinosaurs wouldn't have done that. they don't do that today (birds, birds don't do that)

"nonavian" dinosaurs with feathered wings had them like birds. they covered the hands. and attached to the hands. stop giving Velociraptor hands. it had wings. and very big ones, too, based on Zhenyuanlong.

dinosaurs with scales don't have lizard scales. lizard scales are a derived trait found only in lizards. they had scutes similar to those of living birds, but much smaller compared to body size, and often in crazy shapes and patterns. dinosaur scales are super weird tbh

sauropods don't have elephant feet. they handled the problem of size in a much weirder way: instead of spreading out the weight, they turned their feet into columns. like pillars. some of the biggest species didn't have any fingers, their front limbs just. end. for maximum column support.

dinosaurs were chonky. you could not see the bones like a silhouette under the skin. some might have been skinnier and some of the features of the bones would be somewhat like with skinny bird legs, but most of the time? no. so stop making the holes in their skulls visible on the outside like damn. jurassic park/world is the biggest offender for this one.

the whole unique feature of dinosaurs is having their legs DIRECTLY under their bodies. they do not sprawl. I can't believe I have to say that, but I do.

hadrosaur (duck-billed dinosaur) front feet were hooves. like, seriously, hooves. not little flippers. not three fingered hands. hooves.

I reserve the right to add more to this post as I think of things.

other people can too, but just research before you do.