#feet people (don't make this weird)
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emporium · 2 years ago
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Crabs Everywhere Socks • $10.00
It’s my pledge that is 2023 we are going to have crabs everywhere. On your devices, on your feet, they’ll be a crab for anything and everybody.
75% Cotton, 21% Nylon, 4% Lycra
Crew Length
Fits Most Feet
Men’s Shoe Size 7 – 12
Women’s Shoe Size 6 – 11
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leidensygdom · 5 months ago
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Artfight mods consider my profile picture to be the height of body horror :/ (has 7 eyes. apparently 6 is the maximum of eyes they allow. let's not talk about how the random character function is almost unusable because you will land into extreme untagged fetish characters every other roll, but hey, priorities)
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shoechoe · 1 year ago
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i could say a lot about anasui as a character but from a solely design standpoint... you guys. he is literally just diavolo but worse
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naughtynoodle056 · 1 year ago
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manifesting even more kind generous and horny feeders cross my path. I will be treated like a princess by current feeders and future feeders I’m manifesting it and it will happen
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wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
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Any time a bird is in captivity of any kind without fail there’s someone who shows up and goes ‘:( so sad, it should be FREE!’ Which, I’m very aware of the problems with cagebirds, but someone does this every time including when the bird in question is very clearly a genetic freak of some sort. For example, a rescue aviary near me used to have a lovely fantail dove, who according to volunteers was extremely friendly and loved cuddles and sitting on people’s heads. She’s passed away now, sadly, but on the aviary facebook there’s an old video of her and someone has put one of those comments along the lines of she should be in the wild. But she was so visibly a product of human selective breeding it was unreal. She had a huge, bulgy chest and her neck was bent so far back that the resting position of her head was on her back. If her eyes weren’t on the sides of her head she wouldn’t have been able to see over her own chest. Not all fantail doves look like this, but this one was so extreme looking that they had a little sign on the aviary reassuring people she was alright. I just wondered where exactly this commenter imagined she would belong if all the birds in the aviary were released into the wild and somehow back into their ideal habitats. There’s nowhere in the world outside of in the care of humans where a bird looking like that would be remotely ok.
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writterings · 2 months ago
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gravity falls is so funny through robbie's pov
>be me, 15 year old emo in a bumfucknowhere town
>lives in a funeral home. my parents embalm bodies twenty feet and an entire wall away from where we cook dinner
>have a friend i want to be my girlfriend
>she starts hanging out with her boss' (???) twin niece and nephew outside of work hours even though they're like in elementary school
>friend becomes your girlfriend
>weird shit happens around these twins. conscience store ghosts, a weirdly pixelated adult man beating you up, your dirt bike gets stolen, your girlfriend's boss and his nephew make your gf break up with you???
>gets memories erased at some point
>suddenly in love with only other female friend, like instantly in love and it's like this came out of nowhere but she's so perfect and you loooooove her it's so great don't question why there's a part of you that doesn't remember ever actually falling in love with her. also those fucking twins had something to do with this again.
>apocalypse happens
>mfw im apparently part of a secret key of people that can save the world by holding hands but it gets fucked up last minute by your ex's boss fighting with his twin over grammar (did he always have a twin?? why are there so many twins??)
>the ritual you were a part of failed. you were supposed to be a special person and part of saving the world but nope. that failed.
>get turned into a statue
>apocalypse ends and you have no clue how or why
>things like immediately go back to normal
>still with girl you don't remember falling in love with
>the twins just fucking. leave the town. and now there's two of your ex girlfriend's bosses around. no one ever explains how or why any of this has happened. you still live in a funeral home.
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neverendingford · 1 month ago
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#tag talk#went running this morning for the first time in like.. a year I think. I'm so out of shape.#I used to be able to fly. I used to be able to fuckin glide on my feet#oh well. I'll get there again if I really want it. I just have to let myself move in that direction#I lost it in college when my social anxiety got so bad I couldn't just go outside and run except at one in the morning#and a few minor health things popped up that just made running that much more prohibitive.#like the fact that my ears would hurt and I would get headaches from the wind on my ears even in 90 F weather#and the general stress-related stomach issues that made running nausea-inducing#I also just want to get back into my ideal shape without cutting calories because I need all the calories I can get but#but when I'm inactive I do get more tummy than I would like#which makes me feel guilty because I know I shouldn't feel shame about the shape of my body and a little tummy is the least of my worries#but if I can motivate myself with the desire to make my body my own instead of shame for how it is.#that's no different than any other thing people do to change how their body looks and presents#it's just the shame that's bad. running towards good not running away from perceived bad. motivation versus demotivation#also exercising is a great way to get out my manic energy without fucking randos off grindr#but in general my ability to go outside and be seen by other people has gotten a lot better.#between accepting that I'm allowed to just ignore people and be weird. and also sort of gender transitioning. my anxiety is at all time lows#idk. my life is pretty manageable right now. I manage the periodic depression and ride out the mania#I have a few friends to talk to and someone to play aoe2 with so honestly I'm alright#plans for things next year that I'll see if they pull through.#all in all my life is something I don't hate anymore and that's pretty fuckin pogchamp
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caydentheys · 4 months ago
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I'm kissing @lovelyelbowleech, MuffinLance, WitchofEndor
inwardtransience and PseudoLeigha
we have to take immersive fantasy racist microaggressions out of writers' hands forever
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whatyousae · 3 months ago
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lover boys who are down bad for you, worshipping the ground you walk on like you are some goddess. if someone asks how did they pull you they wouldn't know what to say.
"i don't even know man.."
he patiently waits for you to finish trying on all the dresses that caught your attention in the mall. carrying your bags hell he even knows how to wear your purse without making it look weird on him.
switches shoes with you when your feet starts to hurt from all that walking, offering to carry you on his back. when you get home you always give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you gift.
"why are you looking at me like that?"
you often ask him that question, he says he likes watching you do your things. he does, but that's not the real reason. he loves the way your eyelashes look when they are curled, the way you pout your lips when you think so hard about something, how your eyebrows are furrowed when you get upset at something.
he buys you small things or expensive things because he thought you would like it. huh? so what if it's nearly the rent of your apartment? as long as his girlfriend likes it he has no regrets.
he flexes you when he notices people are googling at you, showing them that no one can have his pretty girl. only he can.
he just loves his pretty girlfriend so much and he is not afraid to show it
kimetsu no yaiba: RENGOKU, tanjiro, zenitsu, giyuu, GENYA, gyomei
jujutsu kaisen: YUUJI, choso, gojo, geto, NANAMI, YUUTA, inumaki
bluelock: ISAGI, bachira, kunigami, REO, karasu, KAISER
bungo stray dogs: dazai, SIGMA, tachihara, chuuya, FUKUZAWA
hunter x hunter: kurapika, LEORIO, phinks, wing
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2024 @whatyousae — do not copy, translate, or post in any platform.
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headspace-hotel · 6 days ago
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Okay but like whenever europe and USA are compared in terms of ruins and artifacts it makes me think "oh but what about Native American artifacts and ruins" and it reminded me of another post I meant to make ages ago but forgot
A while back I went thru the library looking at all the books I could find on the history of Kentucky.
My textbooks and most "reliable" sources when I was a kid said that Kentucky was never actually home to Native Americans, it was just a "hunting ground." This is total bullshit, the living Shawnee whose ancestors lived here know it was bullshit, but how did we get there
A lot of the more recent books I found (from like the 1990's) repeated the "it was only just hunting grounds" thing
But heres the weird thing
When you go back further
The narrative is completely different
so here's the first page of a book published 1872, it's "History of Lexington Kentucky: Its Early Annals and Recent Progress" by George W. Ranck
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Let the shock of this first paragraph settle in. Like, damn, this is a whole different picture being painted
now, this Rafinesque fellow he refers to, has been widely referred to as the originator of many claims about Kentucky, and an exaggerator and liar, outright dismissed and scorned by many historians.
Rafinesque is considered to be the source of many claims found in this chapter, and the pompous, flowery language used to state them makes them seem a bit unbelievable. But the claims themselves are not highly unrealistic. These are several of the claims found on pages 2-12 of the book
An artificially built stone well was found by settlers
Earliest settlers plowed up pottery fragments
Settlers dug into an old abandoned lead mine
"Stone sepulchers" were found containing human bones
A large earthen mound 6 feet high was found with pottery and burned wood
A stone mound was found containing human bones
An extensive cave used as a cemetery was found under Lexington, containing embalmed bodies
Flint arrowheads were found
Polished and worked fragments of iron ore were found
Sandstone and limestone tools perforated with holes were found
Rough ingots of copper were found
Stone walls were built defended by entrenchments
It is very important to note that this chapter is insistent that the inhabitants that built these ruins and left these artifacts were NOT Native Americans. Why? Because Native Americans didn't build stuff so advanced! Very circular reasoning.
It was a very common myth that there was some kind of "pre-native-american" race of people that existed in Kentucky. Sometimes this was a way of justifying colonization by saying that well, the Native Americans were just taking over land that wasn't theirs too, so it's okay for us to do it.
It seems to me that when it became clear that Native Americans were the first and only pre-European inhabitants, the stuff about an ancient city under Lexington and all that became dismissed as lies. But are they lies?
I tried to find out, and we know for certain that central Kentucky had many, many burial mounds (some of which I had seen the site of without knowing what I was seeing) and quite a few stone ruins. The builders of the stone ruins are referred to as the "Fort Ancient" people because the earliest settlers incorrectly assumed the stone structures they saw were forts for some defensive or military purpose.
The tools and artifacts being referenced are all known to exist, except I think there aren't any confirmed extant examples of pottery.
The most widely criticized claim in the chapter is the underground cave used as a tomb, but I don't see why—central Kentucky is a limestone karst region and EVERYWHERE has a cave under it. The embalming or mummifying of bodies could have been a flourish or rumor, but the essence of the claim is totally reasonable. Then again, it might not have been, since the area had access to sources of salt. The supposed "lead mine" probably wasn't that specifically, but it's known that Native Americans went inside, explored and used caves.
It was really interesting to me how so many later sources dismissed these claims despite most of them being plausible or just true, and how many of those sources repeated the idea of Native Americans using the land for hunting but not "inhabiting" it. It is two different ways of denying Native Americans were here.
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tojigasm · 3 months ago
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I've Got a Thing About You, Baby
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Warnings: kissing, pet names, Logan shotguns the reader, cigars, smoking, fluff, domestic logan
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It's late one night in the summer that it happens; when the air's still warm under the moonlight and the crickets hum against the breeze.
You've been watching him for the past hour or so. The trickling of smoke dancing into strange shapes and pretty lines through the screen door of the mansion, leading out to the back porch.
It's far past your bedtime, and the rest of the students and professors have long since retired to their own bedrooms.
Except for you, that is. A part of you too exhausted to actually sleep and the other too anxious to.
If you listen closely, you're able to hear the bird fountain from the garden.
You can hear the rocking chair sway back and forth against the chipped wood of the porch.
A weird feeling passes over you. It feels like the heat of the sun on a spring day, and it settles into your stomach warmly.
That feeling reminds you of home often.
You can't tell if Logan knows you're awake – scribbling away at your notes for the day and sipping Coca-Cola from the bottle through a straw. If he does, he doesn't make it known.
It's only when you make your way towards the back door, bare feet padding against the cool wood floors that you know he knows.
You wait by the door for a moment, gripping the neck of your Coca-Cola bottle as you watch him take a drag of his cigar.
You've always thought he was beautiful. The dark tufts of his hair and hazel eyes, paired with the brute strength he bears, was Renaissance-like.
You briefly wonder if he'd been alive that long.
"Y'gonna come out here or just keep staring at me like a freak?" Logan's voice breaks you from your spell and has you pushing past the screen door instantly.
You sit down in the rocking chair across from him, pulling both of your knees to your chest and your Coca-Cola to your side.
Your eyes follow him as he takes another drag of the cigar, thick brows relaxed as he exhales a pillow of white smoke and sinks into the chair.
"Why aren't you in bed?" You ask, thumbing the ends of your pajama bottoms
Logan snorts at the parroted sterness in your voice. You had to've picked that up from Jean, he thinks to himself.
"Why aren't you in bed?" He hums with a slight shake of his head, tapping his fingers holding the cigar against the armrest of the chair.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Hm," He picks at the fabric of his jeans momentarily, "is that why you were hiding behind the screen door thinkin' I couldn't see you?"
"I wasn't hiding!" You nearly jump from your seat, almost cringing at the hightened squeal of your voice.
"Right." He smirks from behind the cigar, voice laced with sarcasm as he takes another drag.
You watch him for a moment. Your skin warm from the summer air, a shiver runs up your spine.
There's something oddly paternal in his demeanor; legs spread as he rocks himself back and forth in the chair, flicking his lighter shut and throwing it back into his jean pocket.
Logan looks up momentarily, meeting your gaze through his brows, and just as quickly as he's turned away to blow smoke out into the hot air.
"Never smoked before." You comment, crossing your arms over the fronts of your legs.
Logan hums, "Good. Bad habit."
"Can I try some?"
Logan hesitates. Eyes meeting yours sternly.
"Aren't you a bit young to be trying to get people to pass off drugs to you?" You can hear the smirk in his voice before it's visible on his features.
You roll your eyes and place your Coca-Cola bottle onto the floor beside you.
"Never been one to try and get people to start bad habits." Logan adds, picking at his nail absentmindedly. "Seems to happen around me anyways."
You don't say anything to that. The pads of your fingers still folding and twisting the fabric of your pajamas.
An owl hoots from somewhere across the garden, and the crickets sing in the breeze again.
Logan turns his head towards you and folds his free hand behind his head, taking another drag of the cigar before turning it towards you.
You feel stuck. Suddenly, very aware of where you are and who you're with and the uncomfortably humbling fact that you have no idea how to actually smoke.
You hadn't realized you'd only been staring at his hand until Logan's voice peeks through your mental fog.
"C'mere, baby."
There's something domestically paternal in the deep of his tone that nearly makes your knees buckle as you shyly make your way over to him.
He makes room for you in his lap, guiding you to sit on one of his thighs.
"Y'never smoked before?" He reaffirms, resting a large hand over both of your thighs.
You shake your head.
The sound of his lighter makes you turn before Logan pulls you back towards him, lighting the end of the cigar again.
"I'll hold it fr'you. Just take a deep exhale like you're breathin', easy peasy."
You nod, watching the tobacco simmer at the end of the cigar, illuminating Logan's hand in an orangish red hue.
There's a moment of quiet where you're lost in thought, memorizing the preparedness of it. You turn towards Logan at the silence to see him watching you already, a thick brow arched.
"You gettin' shy on me?"
Immediately, you fluster at that, shaking your head with a "uh, uh." Before leaning down to wrap your lips around the end of the cigar.
Logan meets your eyes with a warm smile, "uh uh," He chides, voice pitched in mimic.
You giggle lightly before inhaling from the cigar.
It's warm against the back of your throat; a burning stroke that has you pulling away, coughing instantly. Your mouth feels dry and cotton-like as drool fills your mouth in an attempt to relax the forgein feeling.
"Woah," Logan chuckles loosely at you, stroking his hand up and down your back. "Y'okay?"
You give a weak thumbs up, smiling wobbly before bursting into a fit of coughs again.
Logan reaches for your coca-cola bottle mid giggle, bringing the straw up to your lips.
"Here, drink this. Yeah, there y'go."
The drink cools your throat, soothing the dry attack on your lungs as you gasp for clean breaths of air again.
Logan keeps his hand on your back, letting you relax into it.
"Y'okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I didn't realize that it'd be that aggressive." Your voice still scratchy.
"I probably should've told you not to take such a deep breath," He strokes his hand over the curve of your jaw. "Sorry 'bout that, kid."
You wave him off, "it's okay."
Logan takes a drag of the cigar, thumbing it between his forefinger and middle.
"That is a bit strong, huh."
You nod.
"Here, I might have a better way to do it."
You watch as he tilts his head upwards, holding the cigar to his plush lips as he takes another inhale.
The glow of the auburn porch light creates a halo around his hair tufts and makes an outline of his sharp nose.
He blows smoke through his nose, hardly acknowledging it.
You're entranced with how easy he makes it seem, as though he's been throwing back cigars for the majority of his existence, and for all you know, he has.
Your betwitchment must be obvious on your face by the way Logan peers down slyly at you midst another drag.
He motions for you to come closer to him, curving his hand to hold your jaw steady.
Parting his lips some, a small whisp of smoke trails from his mouth as he softly says, "Open."
You can smell the burning tobacco, and it settles a warmth into you.
You part your lips, jolting slightly in his hold as he exhales the cloud of smoke into your mouth with a cocky smile.
The smoke is much easier to take this way – already diluted by whatever super regenerative powers he holds.
Logan brings you closer to meet you in a kiss, dragging his tongue over your lips and past your teeth to stroke the insides of your cheeks.
You're completely at his mercy, shivering and whimpering in his hand.
The plush of his lips has you grabbing at his forearm and gasping against him. You can feel him smile into the kiss with a hum.
He pulls off of you with a 'pop' before relasing his hand from your jaw with a smile.
"That better?"
You reduced to just stare at him.
"Maybe I need it one more time." You say under your breath, and you're almost afraid he doesn't catch it.
"Yeah? One more?" He asks, moving to hold your chin again.
"Mhm," you nod.
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dcxdpdabbles · 6 months ago
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For Danny, gravity is a suggestion, but when he's human he prefers to feel ground under his feet while he's thinking. This leads to him often not realising he's started walking on the wall or ceiling when he's lost in thought or otherwise distracted.
Tim's definitely normal human friend Danny, pacing on the ceiling during his third visit at Wayne manor: [ranting about something, probably defending his love of weird flavour combo milkshakes]
The Batfam, silently debating how they're gonna break it to Danny that he's a meta: ........
Tim's eyes follow Danny as he starts pacing around the table, his homework abandoned on the table. His voice is becoming sharper, and his words are strung together more as he continues. He noticed that he became less aware of his surroundings when his friend started going on his rants.
Watching Danny's body language become slightly less human was fascinating. It started with his eyes—if Danny felt angry, they would glow green. Tim always knew when to cut back on his teasing whenever he saw the flash of green, no matter how brief the green was.
When Danny rants about something that upsets or makes him sad, his voice gains a particular echo. It is almost as if he is slowly walking into a cave.
There were times when Danny got excited or happy; his hair would start to puff up slightly. This reminded Tim of when he would rub a balloon on his hair to study the positive and negative charges.
Danny's hair didn't flout straight up, but it was electric enough to be noticeable if you paid enough attention.
It was as if his emotions affected his physical form like a mood ring. Tim could always tell what Danny felt by watching for the little effects.
All these little things were easy to hide. Most people noticed less than Tim did, but there was one little quirk Danny did that was rather hard to miss.
"What if we talked about the effect of well-lit street lights on crime rates?" Danny asked, striding up to a wall and casually pacing on it. He continued to think out loud, with his eyes closed, as he made loops on the ceiling. Tim needed to pay more attention to the subject of their presentation, but he was somewhat distracted by how Danny's hair and shirt defied gravity.
They stayed perfectly in place as if his friend were still on the ground and not upside down. Tim wondered if his powers were less flying and more gravity-shifting.
It would also explain his lower degree of super strength if he could manipulate gravity. (Tim didn't care what Danny claimed in gym class. No regular human could lift two punching bags like nothing, especially for something as casual as cleaning up)
Or maybe he was able to move in a fifth direction. From his perspective, while Tim was stuck in 3D, Danny could move in the fourth and walk on the ground. It would explain why he didn't notice he had stepped on the walls or ceiling. To Danny, he never left the floor.
"No, that wouldn't work," Danny mutters, making loops around the chandelier. "What if we...but then that would mean...."
Tim couldn't make out most of his words, but that was fine. Danny also tended to mutter under his breath when he was deep in thought.
He cranks his neck back, eyes tracing the way Danny seemed to strut around as if he was out for a walk on a nice sunny day in the park. Carefully, making sure Danny was too distracted by his thoughts, Tim aimed his camera phone at him.
He takes a few photos and then opens the family group chat.
Tim: I need advice on gently telling a friend something that may change our friendship. I've tried to say it to him before but he doesn't seem to get it.
Jason: buy him some flowers and write him a poem. He'll love it.
Steph: That's terrible advice, Jay. No one does that anymore
Jason: No one has class anymore, you mean. Besides, boys deserve to be romanced, too.
Dick: Just tell him how you feel, Tim! Be direct and make sure you use the words "I like you romanticly." Sometimes people don't understand you're asking them out.
Damian: Do not bother me with your failed courtships.
Duke: Maybe don't go as far as Jay said, but Dick's right. You have to say, "Go on a date with me" or something.
Steph: Try the bend and snap! It's Elle Woods-approved!
Tim: No, that's not what this is about. I need help telling Danny he might be a metahuman with Superman-level Power.
There is a long pause before his phone vibrates again.
Damian: I beg your finest pardon?
Bruce is typing.....
Tim: He's friendly! He just has yet to notice that what he does isn't regular.
Jason: Wait, isn't Danny that kid we saw you at the ice ring with? The one that snuck up on Cass by accident?
Tim: Yes
Multiple people are typing.....
Tim briefly glances up to see what Danny is up to, and he is surprised that Frost has started developing in his footsteps. That's certainly new. He attached the photos to the chat, sending them off as Danny slowly floated back down.
He watches as his friend flips horizontally in mid-air so that he's standing upright when he lands. His hair is starting to puff up again, so he is not surprised when Danny's eyes snap open with a gleeful glint in them.
"I figured it out, Tim!"
"That's great," Tim tells him with a smile as Danny eagerly returns to his seat. He is babbling about the solution to their government class and how he knows he can get their proposed bill passed with the correct narrative.
Tim watches frost develop around his pencil and chair. Fascinating. Does that mean excitement? He almost forgets about the family group chat while attempting to figure out what emotion Danny is experiencing to connect to frost that he missed a few messages.
Bruce: Tim, where are you?
Bruce: he made Cass jump because she didn't hear or see him coming. That's worrisome.
Bruce: He could be dangerous
Bruce: Where are you
Bruce: Tim, answer me
Bruce: Timothy Jackson Drake, answer the phone right now
Dick: Oooooohhhh middle name
Damian: They are in the left-wing dining room, Father. I already have a visual on them.
Damian sent a photo of two teenage boys sitting at a table, bending over to look at a book together. Papers and pencils are scattered around the stranger while Tim's trusted laptop is in front of his part.
Bruce: Good. Keep them in sight at all times and report any suspicious behavior.
Damian: Naturally.
Steph: No DNA test is needed
Duke: Literally.
Cass: I am confused. I thought we all knew Tim's boyfriend was not human?
Jason: We did not, in fact, know that Cass.
Cass: It is obvious by the way he moves that Danny is not a meta-human. He is close to one, but he moves like a different being. He reminds me of Captain Marvel.
Multiple people are typing......
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suiana · 4 months ago
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(yandere! saw x gn! reader) (i actually haven't watched saw so idk how the game works 🤓☝️)
"and for your final challenge... you have to kiss me, now."
"aw hell nah, can you just kill me instead?"
"w-what?! no absolutely not!"
you watch as the male visibly twitches, freaking out on the spot as he faces the camera. he was literally panicking, gripping his microhone as you watch a bead of sweat drop down his forehead.
"no! it's either you kiss me, or you die! don't you understand?! you have to kiss me! it's like, the only option!"
"nah, i ain't kissing your clown looking ass. just kill me already dawg."
you remain calm, eyebrows raised as you tap your feet against the ground impatiently. there was no way in hell you were going to makeout with this man thing. he looked like a murder clown from 1900s with his black and white makeup and suit!
and even thoigh you thought you were freaky, there was no way you were going to kiss that doll turned man. nuh uh. that is downright insane, even if he does look hot. i mean, this guy killed people! led them to death games that none of them eould survive to begin with!
why?
cause he liked you, duh. the game was rigged apparently. you found that out from him when he sneaked around and tried holding a conversation with you. it was mostly just him talking though. flushed cheeks and stuttering and all. it would've been cute if he weren't a murderous doll.
"so? are you gonna kill me now? I'm actually not gonna kiss you."
"no! ugh! you're so stubborn! just kiss me already damn!"
he groans into the microphone, glaring at you down the cameras before he disappears momentarily, holding a big red button with the words 'do not push' underneath.
"if you don't kiss me now, i will press this button."
"what does it do?"
"make you do things. silly things. with me, of course."
you stare at him, silence filling the room. what the hell? you couldn't even get a chance to respond before he presses it and out came a chair which you were forced to sit down on.
"what the- a chair? you're gonna give me head?"
you stare up at the screen, only to realise that the oddly attractive doll-human had disappeared. damn it. so he really was going to get all up and physical with you huh?
you watch as he pops up from behind, a grin on his lips before he kneels down by your feet, face against your lap. he looked... weirdly calm and at peace for a doll that just led someone to their death a few hours ago. but you suppose it's because he's not human. well, fully at least.
"oh, so head it is-"
"no not head! what the heck?!"
the doll screeches, hands digging into the legs of the chair. he whines, throwing a small tantrum before his rosy cheeks get even rosier (if that was possible? and his eyes grow all wide. you raise an eyebrow at his silence, frowning slightly before yelping as he suddenly starts begging.
"ahem! do you want to be my lover? uh uh who said that?! okay okay, do you want to be my big sweaty alpha lover? WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?!"
what the hell?!
"uh..."
"i meant- do you want to be my sigma lover who will peg me- WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?!"
"please just kill me."
yeah, now death is sounding like the much better option than being the lover of this weird doll. hey! maybe smashing your head against the chair would work!
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evilvillain123456789 · 2 years ago
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you are not a cannibal. you make centaurworld animatics set to lemon demon songs. you watched hannibal during the tender childhood age of 17 and it made you annoying. if you were actually aroused by cannibalism you wouldnt be blogging about it like you do. you wouldnt be saying the things you do. why don't you learn some german and hit up the forums? right, you can't, because the authorities hate us. but not you. where were you? reading fanfiction? beat off in front of me right now. prove yourself. cannibalism is in vogue cause of you freaky deaky "ex catholic" types but i know your ass was mormon or protestant or shit like that & your childhood church was an ugly grey room. i know your ass never got to taste the wine cause you went to liberal church that takes a stance against underage drinking. & your jewish mutuals told you that you were being weird about angels so you started being weird about the eucharist. well i'm here to put a stop to it. lets be real here. you kill someone, or stumble across a body, your ass is not taking a bite. you lack the strength to remove a limb. i bet you wont even stick your dick in. you freeze up. because nobody on this website really gets a boner from the thought of eating a dead body. and if they do they are running a blog that posts pictures of dead mangled real life bodies in stages of decay. Or they know damn well to keep quiet. Theyre not on tumblr beside you. Theyre far away from people like you. and even if they didnt run a gore blog, i'm sure they know better than to bare their true feelings. because they know prosecution. nobody on tumblr for normal people like these things. & he/they who says so in the replies, or reblogs, or tags from which below, is lying. straight up. its just an aesthetic. you say its a fetish but its an aesthetic. you are fucking lying. you are just annoying. go post about stinky feet and getting boypreggers and leave the real shit alone cause once you get out of your cute little circle of tumblr kinnies and come into contact with a guy who actually gets a big big sloppy boner from the thought of writhing in filth inside and out, you are going to call Whang.
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electrosuite · 10 days ago
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could you maybe do a fic where eddie is your dealer and you go to him and ask him to take your virginity and it turns out he's been fantasizing about fucking you since the day you met
warnings: swearing, drugs (marijuana), dirty talk, oral sex, descriptive sex
word count: 2.7k
masterlist
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You knocked against the door to Eddie's house, nervously sighing and crossing your arms. It took a moment, but the door opened to reveal a very sleepy looking Eddie.
You immediately felt guilty, relaxing your posture a bit.
"Shit, sorry. Did I wake you up?"
"It's fine. Everything okay? You pounded the shit out of the door."
You nodded. "I don't know. I just..." You were trying to think of a reasonable excuse for waking him up, but the best you could come up with was, "How much do you have?"
"Uhh..." He thought for a moment. "I'm down to my last ounce. I need to get more."
"Great. I'll take it."
"What, all of it?"
"Yeah." He looked at you like you were crazy. "What?"
"You never get more than an eighth."
"Well, I am today."
He was still a bit confused, but he moved out of the way and allowed you to step inside. You walked over to the couch and sat. He didn't take his eyes off of you until he got into his room, wondering what had you so upset.
When he brought his supply out, he laid it on the coffee table with enough rolling papers to make joints out of every last speck. This was what he always did for you. He rolled the joints before you even left because you struggled every time you tried.
The two of you were silent while he rolled the first one, then handed it to you. You pulled a lighter out of your pocket and lit it, that first inhale feeling better to your lungs than oxygen.
As he began rolling the second joint, he spoke up.
"So, what's up?"
"What do you mean?"
"You seem off. Is everything okay?"
You rubbed your eyes with your fingers, propping your elbow on your knee.
After a moment, you replied, "Do you think it's weird not to date in high school?"
He looked up at you. "Are you really asking me that question?"
"I mean do you think it's weird if a girl hasn't dated in high school?"
"Is there a difference?"
"You know there is. People treat it differently."
"Do you care what people think?"
"Of course I do. But that's not what this is about."
"Are you afraid you're weird for not dating?"
"I don't know. I mean, almost everyone I know is, and sometimes i just wonder if I'm... doing something wrong."
"What do you mean, 'doing something wrong'?"
"I don't know how to explain it. Like, if I'm doing something that makes me unattractive, or-"
"Trust me, you're not."
"You don't think so?"
"No," he chuckled. "Absolutely not."
You took note of his comments, noticing his reaction to you suggesting you're unattractive. You didn't say anything for a moment, just watched him roll joint after joint.
You stood up slowly and began pacing in the pathway between the couch and coffee table, shoving your hands in your pockets.
When he got to the last joint, you turned to him and sighed.
"Look, I didn't come here for weed," you blurted.
"What do you mean?"
"I came here..." You could feel your heart pounding. "I came here to ask if you'd be interested in... taking my virginity."
His hand movements froze, his eyebrows raised, and his eyes drifted up to look at you.
"What?"
"I've been thinking. A lot. I'm so close to graduating as a virgin, and I don't want that. I want to lose it before I graduate, and the person I'd want to do it with most is you. I trust you."
He laid the joint in his hands down and got to his feet, walking to the kitchen and washing his hands, taking his time. You followed him, continuing to ramble.
"You know, like I said, every one of my friends are in relationships, and I'm fine with not dating. But none of them are virgins, and I'm the only one." Eddie turned the water off and grabbed a rag to dry his hands. "I'm just worried that if I don't lose it now, then I won't lose it for a while. And I don't really want to be a virgin anymore."
He turned to you and grabbed your face, pulling you in and planting his lips against yours. It caught you off guard but you immediately kissed back.
It was a gentle yet assertive kiss, one with longing behind it. It felt so natural, like your lips were made for each other. You immediately gripped his sides and let out a soft whimper into his mouth.
His hands slid down the backs of your thighs and he picked you up, carrying you into his room and kicking the door closed behind him. He tenderly dropped you down sideways onto his bed, your head hanging off the edge a bit.
He kept kissing you, his hips between your thighs. He was much more dominant than you expected him to be, as if a switch flipped in his head the second he started thinking about sex.
You reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, looking down at his body. He was beautiful, and you pulled him back down to kiss you. But he broke it a moment later to undress you, leaving you in just your bra and underwear.
He stopped, looking down at your body with his mouth slightly agape.
"What?" you asked, beginning to get nervous from his reaction. "Is something wrong?"
"It's just... weird."
"What is?"
"You're my client. I'm your dealer. It's just not something I thought would happen."
"If you don't wanna do this-"
"Woah, I didn't say that." His hands began traveling up your thighs. "I've wanted to for... I don't even know how long." His fingers slipped under your panties, pulling them off of you slowly. "I've wanted you for so long." He watched your face as his digits found your clit. A small whine left your mouth as your eyebrows turned upwards, your head falling back off the mattress.
He didn't take his eyes off your face, and he felt his pants grow tighter. Watching you squirm under him, it was a dream come true.
He was going so, so slow, and all you wanted was for him to speed up. But he didn't, instead loving the idea of teasing you. Making you writhe under him, demanding more.
So he decided to remove his fingers and crawl off the bed, kneeling on the floor. He grabbed you by the thighs and pulled you close, your hips hanging off the mattress slightly.
And the feeling of his warm, wet tongue on your soaked pussy drove you insane. You moaned much louder than you meant to, but you couldn't help it. He apparently knew exactly what he was doing, because this felt magical.
You couldn't physically hold your hips still, so he pressed down firmly on your hips. And when you couldn't move, forced to stay still, it almost made it more pleasurable.
You didn't know what to do with your hands, so they latched onto his hair, pulling tightly. So tightly, in fact, that he groaned. And his voice against your body felt like vibrating. This made you gasp, immediately feeling your orgasm approaching.
"Fuck, Eddie."
He knew you were close just by the sounds you were making. They were needy, desperate. And it was all he could think about. He'd always wondered what you sounded like when you came. The sweet sounds that would fill the room. And the fact that your first orgasm from someone else would be with him... It was almost too much for him to handle.
He needed to make you cum - hard. He was determined to make it as mind-blowing as humanly possible, to wear you out just from his tongue.
So when your hips bucked uncontrollably and you fisted his hair even harder, he knew you were finally there. You couldn't hold in the scream, the original plan of trying to be quiet going out the window. And he kept it going, refusing to let up.
Normally when it was just you, you only came for a few seconds because it was all you could handle. But a few seconds was gone, and he could tell he succeeded in making this intense.
And when your orgasm began to end on its own, he finally slowed down, easing you out of it. But he still didn't completely stop. In fact, the sounds you made got him desperate to hear them again, deciding then and there that he could postpone his own pleasure for the sake of watching you squirm under his mouth again.
So when he picked back up on the speed, it didn't take long to get you there again, maybe twenty seconds.
And during all of that, he never closed his eyes or looked away from you, not even for a second. He needed to watch how good he made you feel, how good your first time was.
When you physically pushed him away, he realized that you'd had enough. And when you pulled him back up to you, he was like a puma pouncing on his prey. You reached under you and unhooked your bra, throwing it somewhere on the floor.
"God, you're even more beautiful than I imagined."
His lips latched onto your breasts, cupping them in his hands. You reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, causing him to sit up on his knees. He watched your hands undo his pants, taking the opportunity to get up and pull them all the way off.
As he stood there, fully nude, you bit your lip at the sight. He looked so good, and he was rock hard. He dug through his nightstand and pulled out a condom, tearing it open with his teeth and sliding it down his length.
You knew he was going to be a lot to take, but if he was as good at sex as he was at oral, you were in for a good time.
When he crawled back on top of you, his hips settled against yours and he kissed your neck. Your hands found themselves against his ribs, fingertips pressed into his skin.
After a moment, he looked at you, making eye contact.
"You're sure about this?" he whispered.
"Are you really asking me that now?"
"I need you to answer me."
You reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear with your right hand.
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life, Eddie." You spoke softly, seductively. You pulled his face down so you could whisper into his ear. "I want you to fuck me until I can't walk straight."
He took in a tiny gasp at this, dirty talk not something he expected from you. You'd always been, for lack of a better word, pretty innocent. But he'd been surprised before, finding the most innocent girls to be freaks in bed.
"For your first time?"
You just nodded. "For every time."
And with that, he was kissing you again. He reached down to line himself up to your entrance, slowly pushing into you. You whined into his mouth and he smiled, the sound like music to his ears.
Once he was fully nestled into you, he also let out a moan. He didn't move at first though, allowing you time to adjust.
"That okay?"
"Oh god, you feel so good, Eddie."
He let out a satisfied sigh. "Good. Tell me if you want to stop at any point, alright?"
"I won't want to."
"Hey, I mean it. If it gets too much, or you change your mind at any point, make me stop. Okay?"
You nodded, smiling at him. "You're so sweet."
He kissed you again, beginning to move his hips. He started with slow, gentle thrusts to let you get used to him. But eventually, he couldn't resist picking up the pace.
You did ask for it rough, after all.
So he gave you what you asked for. He attacked your neck and collarbones with kisses, leaving sloppy spit marks all over your skin. The two of you were moaning and groaning in sync, the bed squeaking almost as loud.
He couldn't keep his lips off of you, sucking your skin hard and kissing you so deeply that your teeth were touching a few times.
He was trying to stay quiet so he could listen to your moans, but he couldn't hold them back. You felt incredible, like a warm wet hug. Like your body was made for him and only him. He fit perfectly inside of you, be it a bit snug.
He fisted the sheets under him and at this point he was going much quicker than he thought he could, which was almost overwhelming for you.
But it was just right. It was perfect.
So you frowned a little bit when he pulled out of you.
"Roll on your stomach," he commanded. You did, and he pulled a pillow over for you to lay your head on. He bent your left leg and when he was back into position, he held it in place with his knee. Your other leg was straight under him, your foot hanging off the bed.
You felt his hands on your lower back, his palms right on top of the dimples above your ass cheeks. He slid back into you, and this position felt even better.
"That okay?" he asked.
"Uh-huh," was all you could get out, so he kept going. Him holding your body down and slamming into you was a sensation you'd never experienced, it was nearly impossible to explain. All you could do was grip the pillow under your head.
He leaned down and kissed between your shoulder blades, leaving prints of his lips with his saliva.
"Goddamn, you feel good," he grunted, his fingers digging into your skin. He couldn't take his eyes off your back, littered with freckles. Your hair cascaded over your skin and in your face, and he noticed how perfectly beautiful you looked right now. Face buried in his pillow, ass jiggling with every thrust.
Fuck, he might be in love.
But the cherry on top was when you moaned his name. Your voice, the tone, the neediness, the desperation. He knew he was going to bust at any second, which was a first for him. Normally he lasted a while, but something about you was different. Maybe it was just how long he'd fantasized about this, how he was far more attracted to you than any other girl he'd slept with, he wasn't sure.
But you did something nobody else could do, which was gotten him there in less than five minutes.
And he decided he wanted to look into your eyes when he came.
So he pulled out of you quickly and rolled you back over, your head still on the pillow. He immediately slammed back into you and held your face with one hand as he kissed you, his other hand next to your shoulder to keep himself up.
"Y/N," he breathed.
"Hm?"
"I've never been so close so quickly before. I'm gonna cum."
"Good."
The hand he used to hold you still moved down to finger you, and you gasped into the kiss. He looked at you when you threw your head back, moving his lips to your jaw and neck again but still looking at your face, wanting to hear you.
And, like something out of a movie, both of you went over the edge simultaneously. It was intense, cumming while being fucked. You'd never experienced this, and it felt like you were going to melt right into the bed.
He kept going for as long as he could, but eventually he had to stop. You laid there panting, his face against your chest and your hands on his sides.
"Holy fuck," you said after a moment. He chuckled, shaking you and the bed under him.
"Yeah. Holy fuck." You lifted his head and kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him close. "You okay?"
"I'm amazing."
"You really are."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Making my first time memorable."
"I should thank you, too."
"Me? Why?"
"I think that was the best sex I've ever had."
"No shit."
"Shit."
"Well, damn. You're welcome, then."
"You said something about... Every time earlier?"
"You're still inside of me and you're already thinking about doing it again?"
"What, you're not?"
You chuckled, noticing how hot and sweaty both of you were. It was kind of gross, but you didn't care in the moment.
And you knew he made your request come true. You were not going to be able to walk properly for a little while.
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incorrectbatfam · 5 months ago
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The batkids (and their partners/crushes/friends) with pride month hcs?
Tim: Lady. Gentleman. Bart. You are about to meet my boyfriend. Now remember, he doesn't know I'm Robin, so you need to act like human people. Can you do that?
Kon, Cassie, and Bart: Yes sir!
Bernard, entering: Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm so glad we're going to Pride together.
Cassie: *lasso immediately falls out of her bag*
Kon: *lasers the ground at Bernard's feet*
Bart: Hi, I'm Impulse.
Tim: *facepalm*
Bart: What? We didn't give away YOUR identity.
———————
Steph, running a food truck: Pride snacks! Get your Pride snacks hot 'n ready! Get two-for-one on the bi-rria tacos!
Margie: I bet you don't have anything for straight pride. You know, the rest of us normal people.
Steph: Yo Cass, one cishet sizzler!
Cass: *throws coffee in Margie's face*
Steph: That'll be $19.99.
Steph: *turns the screen around for tips*
———————
Selina: *wears a shirt saying Free Mom Hugs*
Bruce: *wears a shirt saying Inclusive Dad Jokes*
Alfred: *wears a shirt saying Weird Grandpa Stories*
Kate: *wears a shirt saying I'm Just Gonna Tell You To Dump Them*
———————
Harper: Since this is your first Pride, we're gonna show you the ropes.
Duke: Thanks, I appreciate it.
Harper: Over there we have the Batgirls food truck. Over there is Cullen's evil mafia boyfriend selling Uno cards. And over there is the Justice League in Justice League themed drag.
Cullen: And over there is the porta potty.
Duke: Only one?
Cullen: We ran over budget. But it's gender-neutral.
———————
Renee: Kate's busy telling people to dump their partners. Mind if I hang out here?
Harley: Not a problem! Want a bi-rria taco?
Renee: Nah, but I'll take the les-beans if you don't want them.
Ivy: We were just about to start a game of Gay Uno.
Renee: Gay Uno?
Harley: It's like regular Uno except when you put down a +4 you have to kiss.
Renee: Deal me in.
———————
Jason: You take the Main Street entrance. I'll cover Atlantic up to Washington. Rendezvous here in an hour.
Roy: And then we make out?
Jason, sighing: Sure.
Roy: Sloppy style?
Jason: This is a PG-13 post, Roy.
———————
Dick: Of course I make people question their sexuality with a face like this.
Wally: Sure, your face...
Wally: *glances down*
Donna: You guys are exhausting. I'm joining Roy on patrol.
———————
Barbara: Welcome to the annual conference of Sapphics Who Used To Date Dick Grayson. Helena, what's the first item on our agenda?
Helena: Discussing forming a polycule over dinner.
Bette: I already made a reservation.
Kory: I call braiding everyone's hair.
———————
Luke: Thanks for giving me a hand with the fireworks.
Carrie: Of course. By the way, I have something to tell you. You're the first person I've told.
Luke: I accept you.
Carrie: Thanks, but I was actually gonna say that I scratched your car in the parking lot.
Luke: WHAT?!
Carrie: Also I go by she/they.
———————
Lois: How on Earth did you burn your cape at a Pride festival?
Jon: Well...
[earlier]
Damian and Jon: *watching the fireworks*
Damian: I like that flower one.
Jon: *shoots into the sky to grab it*
Damian: *facepalm*
Tim, sitting nearby: You and me both.
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