#feels kind of wrong to mark my art tag here lol

[justagalwhowrites]

i hope you don’t beat yourself up too much abt the joel spoiler thing. TLOU2 came out almost 5 years ago, and it’s not ur fault people read stuff about video game characters with no expectations of spoilers

Hi Bestie!

You are very sweet to say this! I will kind of lay out why this has been bothering me so much though I totally get what you're saying. (No spoilers really below the cut, it doesn't expressly say what the spoiler is, I just have a chronic and incurable case of cannotshutthefuckupitis so it's long!)

I really do try to tag things properly and put appropriate warnings on stuff. I've definitely gotten it wrong and I try to go through and correct things as soon as someone flags it for me (and if you see something you think I've mistagged or missed a warning on, DM me or comment or send me an ask, I'll fix it!) As someone living with PTSD and cPTSD, I'm SUPER familiar with triggers and just how much being triggered can hurt when you're not ready for it, so I try to do it right.

Usually when I fuck it up (or just include something that people want to skip and it's tagged so they skip it) it messes things up for someone for a chapter but they can move past it. This is something that should have been a full fic warning. People started reading this literally six months ago and had to stop because I didn't warn them properly. I feel really terrible for putting people in a position of not getting a resolution in a story they've invested hours in reading or spoiling something they were looking forward to (or just fully spoiling it because they read it, didn't know it was a spoiler until I SAID it was a spoiler and now they know which also sucks!) I really do just try to share stories I care about and give people other ways to engage with these characters beyond what the original media offers. I try to do it in a way that's positive and fulfilling and kind and I feel like I really missed the mark on that here.

There's been a lot I've gotten wrong as I've been writing fic (I know I used language that coded my characters as lighter skinned when writing Lavender and Beskar Doll in particular, for example, I've missed tags, I've had warnings that weren't what they should have been, etc.) but this one, I think, has the furthest reaching impact because it's such a long fic (we were more than 200k words into that sucker when the spoiler came up!) so it feels like I wasted a lot of people's time and damaged their experience with the original medium.

I will also say, I've never played the games 🫣 I'm very VERY bad at video games. There are some I have fun playing, anyway. but I always play on the very easiest setting and usually only for like 2 hours at a time or so. I was just so captivated by the series that I watched play throughs of both games and all the cut scenes and read a bunch of the production stuff and looked at concept art and things like that because I wanted to know EVERYTHING. I think that pushed me into a side of the fandom that heavily embraces the game as well as the show and I just didn't realize that wasn't the whole fandom.

So... yeah! There's that lol Probably more than you were really looking for but that's the context. I should also probably just STFU about this now lol I've fixed it as best as I can and the damage is done, there's really no good reason for me to keep mentioning it to y'all!

Though, Bestie, I really and truly do appreciate your kindness and support! Thank you for being here ❤️

Love you!

[gothprentiss]

albums of the year! shoutout to @explosionshark for the tag-- i was scheming one of these anyway and now i have LICENSE

some notes: i don't follow new releases very closely, so there's a pretty neat split of new this year / new to me / new friendship with old albums here. this isn't untrue to my music taste but this was very much a like, 'i have one or two core artists and then am just kind of dicking around with some new stuff otherwise'-style year. these are all in abc order. there are some notes where i feel like i must say something. that being said:

new this year:

ashenspire - hostile architecture (sometimes songs feel like they were just made for my tastes. béton brut is one of those) blackbraid - blackbraid i blood incantation - timewave zero conception - state of deception

is this album "good", you might ask? to which i reply: how dare you address me. it is the music event of my entire lifetime. ROY KHAN'S BACK BABEY!

the damned - night of a thousand vampires (give me a live album and i go ape. simple easy elegant.) darkthrone - astral fortress (i feel like i should be embarrassed by this one. but darkthrone just tickles me.) epica - the alchemy project

another "don't ask me if it's good, ask me if it makes my grinchy little heart grow three sizes" album. it marks a blessed and glorious era, imo, of epica both having a clearly defined sense of their sound (which they lacked in the 10s, as far as i'm concerned) such that they feel like they can 'alchemize' it, and epica actually experimenting with what they can wrap their sound around. if their next studio album sucks you can find me wailing in the nearest earthen cave

lexie liu - the happy star nas - king's disease iii pusha t - it's almost dry ripped to shreds - 劇變 / jubian (the reverberating OUGH! in violent compulsion for conquest is always in my head) sudan archives - natural brown prom queen undeath - it's time ... to rise from the grave vein.fm - this world is going to ruin you wormrot - hiss

honorable mention of 2022 goes to M.I.A. MATA. i know she's in perpetual trouble for bad politics. i know my deep love for /\/\/\Y/\ (2010) is unpopular. despite everything i still think she rules and puts together some of the coolest noises around.

new TO ME this year:

armani caesar - the liz (2019)

clipping. - visions of bodies being burned (2020) coil - unreleased themes for hellraiser (1987) (incredible writing music) epica - omega alive (2021)

i've got a lot to say about epica for this list but it's because i'd tuned out for... a DECADE? and saw a new live epica album and was like yeah, sure, let's give that a try. and now i'm a diehard tryhard epica stan again. life's good! the thing about this album is that it's, like, not a normal live album-- recorded during covid, they clearly had the latitude to spread it out into a couple of sessions, ensuring relaxed vocal performances (not that simone simons has ever been bad live. don't even think that.), really energized instrumentals, and also some absolutely bonkers mixing. i think this is really like, epica's sound perfectly balanced.

leonard cohen - thanks for the dance (2019) sarpanitum - blessed be my brothers (2015) snowsedim/雪沉 - lead to evening death (2018)

actually the wrong album cover here lol, the website just didn't have the right one. the album cover here is anthology of ebony (2017) which i don't like. anyway this works for me in the same way symphonic metal does: you get two ostensibly contrasting styles of instrumentation and performance which sound bonkers and exquisite together. traditional chinese instruments sound fucking amazing-- ethereally brutal-- with more traditional metal stylings when they get the balance right.

tribulation - the children of the night (2015) (probably i like down below (2018) more, but you can't beat this album art) veil of secrets - dead poetry (2020)

VIBEKE STENE'S BACK BABEY! I FOUND OUT I'D MISSED THIS ALBUM BY TWO YEARS IN THE LAUNDROMAT!

watain - casus luciferi (2003)

new APPRECIATION this year (these all get explanations):

kamelot - poetry for the poisoned & live from wacken (2011)

this is to some extent a lie, because this is one of my all-time fave symphonic metal albums, my favorite kamelot album, AND a reissue with a live album. so it's never been underrated or forgotten for me, or anything like that. but recall that this is the the year i found out roy khan was back!!!!!!! it's been 11 years!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is also the year i bit the bullet and actually looked up reviews for this album, which i hadn't done before because i'd assumed they were negative (the karma / epica / black halo run is often lauded as this perfect kamelot era). and they were pretty good! anyway this album rules. if you ever hear anyone hyping up the karma thru black halo era as kamelot’s best just know they're a coward who hates sexy vampire music and visions of the end and such like.

kate bush - aerial (2005)

i've always felt more at home with late 70s/early 80s kate bush; 50 words for snow, aerial-- even the sensual world and the red shoes-- don't get as much play for me. taking some time to appreciate aerial (see above: slower, calmer, more meditative music isn't really my vibe) was really worthwhile. beautiful storytelling, dreamy and honeyed music.

lacuna coil - comalies (2002)

they did a 20th anniversary remake album which was kind of cool but drove me back to the original, which was my middle school bus music. my middle school bus music ruled.

nick cave and the bad seeds - no more shall we part (2001)

honestly a super underrated bad seeds album for me until this year. it probably is down there with push the sky away (2013) as my least favorite part of their discography (which, to be fair. is still music i wuv). but still! i got REALLY into the lyricism on the album (hallelujah and darker with the day are transcendent), and got obsessed with the building intensity on the sorrowful wife. it's transcendent and cathartic. i think the way the instrumentals get pared back to let the lyricism shine is often a bit... like... you can do better, you know. in fact, their last two albums have been standout examples of not sacrificing a cohesive and compelling album sound to push the lyrics forward. but even so, definitely a familiar friend this year.

siouxsie & the banshees - peepshow (1988)

like poetry for the poisoned, this was NOT an underrated album for me. it's my favorite siouxsie album. that is a high ass bar! BUT! i got nice new headphones this year and switched to apple music for lossless and the instrumentals on this album are how i test all new headphones. and then once i'd tested them, i just... hung around some more. honestly if you're looking for a baller music experience, go listen to scarecrow in the dark, loud as hell. with, you know, good headphones. it feels like you're tiny and being jangled around the ribcage of a dancing animatronic skeleton in a funny little hat. it's a great fucking album. i think i go nuts for it like once a year. whatever.

[hornytransgay]

introduction & info

hey! you can call me d (haha) or disaster, whatever you'd like. this is a side account for me to be shamlessly horny.

i follow & like from de******d***e <3

needless to say this is an 18+ blog and minors should not interact, ageless/under 18 will be blocked :3

DNI: minors (obvs), zoos, pedos, any kind of bigot etc. all the obvious stuff. im into puppyplay & werewolves but if u offer 2 send me pics of real dog cock u will get an immediate block!!!!! (if ur asking why i have 2 say this,,, yes it happened)

info: 18yrs, 5'6"-5'7", chubby/fat, trans man, he/him, 8 months on t, pre-op, t4t, currently ID as a gay man (anyone is welcome to look but i prefer DMs/asks from other mlm/nblm transmascs <3)

mutuals feel free to DM/flirt/sext/ask for pics :3

if you wanna see my pics that tumblr won't like, check out my reddit or twitter! if u want to see my nsft art check out my ao3 or insta! if u want to support me and see vids check out my fansly! DM for my discord if u wanna trade vids or get to know eachother better <3

more info abt me & this blog:

i'm a verse switch!

likes! -

lingerie (wearing/partner wearing)

degredation (specifically slut shaming, prefer recieving)

praise (giving/recieving)

bondage & shibari (rigger/bunny)

biting/marking/possesiveness (giving/recieving)

exhibitionism (feel free to ask for pics! and please tell me if my blog made you horny/wet/hard or if you got off to my pics!)

puppyplay (owner)

monsterfucking (i esp. love werewolves and minotaurs >.<)

free use (being used)

somno (being used while asleep)

^light/soft CNC

overstimulation

intox (in theory, i haven't had a chance to actually get intoxicated yet. but if you're high/drunk and horny you should totally tell me about it :3)

hard nos (there isn't anything wrong with these kinks!! just not for me <3) -

pregnancy/breeding

detrans/misgendering

watersports

scat

gore

ageplay

fauxcest

hard CNC/rapeplay

feeding/weightgain/etc

anal (for now)

preffered terms for genetalia:

tdick, tcock, cock, dick, cunt, pussy, boycunt, boypussy <3

tags: #disaskter for asks, #horny text for horny/kinky text posts, #soft text for non-kinky text posts about cuddling and whatnot, #my pics for photos & videos of me

if you're just here to get off (which is epic, i love people getting off to me), you may want to block #vent, i recently went through a break-up so i'm utilizing it a lot lol

anons: 🐻, 🪦

feel free to slut shame me in asks or DMs! tell me what you'd like to do to me, or have me do to you <3

[zer0zaneathenamain]

Did I ever share this edit I did with paint to make it so you can edit Rhys’ hologram to be anything? 

I think I made the minion one and the dickbutt and veigar were by my dear friends <3 

[shinesurge]

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly! 

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck! 

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

[thefigureinthecorner]

finished my bryant siblings playlist cover!! (reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tag the first time around)

playlist notes under the cut

okay so first off: 5 out of 11 songs on this playlist are by radical face because i have no shame and also it’s not my fault ben cooper is incredibly good at Sad Family Songs

always gold- radical face: hi this song kills me, that is all. choosing specific lyrics is difficult and i highly recommend looking up the full lyrics, but this bit specifically makes me think abt the bryant parents and them rejecting mark for being atypical--

We were opposites at birth I was steady as a hammer No one worried 'cause they knew just where I'd be And they said you were the crooked kind That you would never have no worth But you were always gold to me

hey brother- avicii: just like. they v much have an “i would p much die for you” type of sibling bond, and this song reminds me a lot of how joan spent literal years trying to find mark and get him back; “Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you/There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do”

sisters- radical face: again, bryant parents being assholes, esp the whole thing about how joan is implied to have practically raised mark because their parents were fairly absent-- also the line “never knew what it meant to be whole and free” broke me lol

I tied your shoes while you sat and watched the rain Hands folded across your lap, and a dull look of peace across your face Mom down the hall, Bible pressed to her chest She swore the Devil hides in everything, and her room was the only safe haven left She watched us grow through window panes

vienna- the fray: the fact that joan expected everything to go right back to old times, while mark has five years of trauma piled onto him now and he’s not the same person he was before, nor will he ever be; the repetition of “There's really no way to reach me/’Cause I'm already gone”

everything costs- radical face: i think this playlist is just me getting mad at the bryant parents a whole bunch honestly,,,, anyway just

I heard you say that you'd lost, you'd lost, you'd lost your way But I don't think you had much to lose, that house was never built for you And I ain't gonna hang my head for them, for them And I ain't gonna let them paint the truth with sin And I ain't gonna tell you it's okay but at the end of the day You were just something they'd blame

dead wrong- the fray:

If only I knew what I know I'd make it a point to say so To everyone that got me here And everyone that made it Clear I was dead wrong all along You said it for my sake That I would not lose my way When I was astray

the moon is down- radical face: EPISODE 56. that is all.

You were never at rest You were always somewhere-bound But as for me, I'm the simple kind I'll live and die in this town And I know my home ain't big enough That it would only keep you down And I'd hate to see you caged So all that I ask Is you come say hi when you're around It ain't much But it's good enough for me

i miss those days- bleachers: this is more of a mark song but it definitely is like. mark in relationship to joan; looking around and seeing just how much everything’s changed in the last 5 years, and how much joan has changed in the last five years

And everyone is changing And the storefront's rearranging I picked up a quarter and I just saw my face But it's all coming back now Like the feeling isn't over Hey, I know I was lost but I miss those days

homesick- radical face: similar to the above-- the two of them have changed a lot in the past five years.

But even though I am lost all the time I've got hooks in my sides that you left there But you're not the same, you died along the way Now we're ghosts and we're praying for winter

everything stays- olivia olsen: i’ve made art with this song in the past!! it’s like. even though the two of them have changed a lot over time, there are still some similarities, which i think joan latches on to in her quest for things to be “just like old times;” the huggermugger stuff, the hot chocolate, the sing-along protocol, all that stuff that’s very much theirs that hasn’t really gone away but obviously it’s changed

like, huggermugger reminds mark of their parents; mark wants to make the hot chocolate on his own because he isn’t a little kid anymore and doesn’t want joan to treat him like he is; the musical nights aren’t just theirs anymore because sam (and occasionally the rest of the atypical gang) is around and so they’re sharing those moments with more people now

i’m also thinking abt the notebook here-- in joan’s notes about the notebook she mentioned a lot of the pages had been lost to general wear and tear and so in a more literal meaning, the “when you finally find it, you’ll see how it’s faded” bit. the notebook still exists, but it’s not the same as it was; there’s something missing from it.

which, yknow, is kind of just a metaphor for joan and mark in general, now that i think about it.

i have a lot of feelings about this song.

next to me- sleeping at last: thinking abt the notebook again here

Oh, our futures were written with crayons in coloring books It was misspelled and outside the lines and we loved how it looked Like the crooked hem of your favorite childhood dress And the holes in my jeans from years of carelessness I know since we've grown, we ache for those memories Honestly, nothing's even compared to you next to me, next to me

[mypersonmyg]

Reader keeping secrets from ________ Reader leading a double life a an underground artist and ________ has no idea but is a fan? Sorry that’s all I can come up with on short notice lol Hope you have fun writing whatever you work on! 😀

Pairing: Taehyung x tagger!reader

WC: 1.7k

Genre: artist au

Rating: pg

Warnings: None. 

A/N: I may do a part 2 if you want. Idk, I’m just tired.

“Did you see?” You glance up  from your laptop as Taehyung walks through the front door, eyes glued to his phone. When you don’t respond he looks up expectantly and you shrug your shoulders with a tilt of the head. “Purple Panda tagged last night and it’s all over my feed.”

“Oh, cool.” You glance back down at your laptop, never interested in having lengthy conversations with your boyfriend about his favorite local artist and their hidden identity. “I’m kinda feeling pizza tonight, are you in?”

“Did you hear what I said?” He takes a seat on the arm of the couch and presses a kiss against the crown of your head. You hum continuing to type against your keyboard without pretense.

“Yeah, artist, tag, social feed. I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with this person,” You lower your screen and angle yourself toward him. “Sure they’re amazing at what they do, but what they do is also pretty illegal.”

Taehyung pulls his lip into a contemplative pout, his hands coming to massage your shoulders, the feeling relieving the tension that had taken over your muscles. The two of you sit in comfortable silence, the sound of Yeontan’s feet patter occasionally across the floor. 

“Why don’t you like them?” You’re caught off guard by the sudden question, never having said anything about your personal feelings. 

“What do you mean? I never said that.”

“True, but you’re always telling me that I shouldn’t invest so much time in this and you can’t help but to constantly point out the lack of legality in their work.” You huff, pushing yourself from the confines of the couch cushions and onto your feet. Taehyung is hot on your trail as you head to the kitchen, grabbing your keys from the counter.

“I don’t hate them, I just don’t think you should invest so much time in trying to discover a person who doesn’t want to be discovered. They have a pseudonym for a reason and that reason is not for you to try to expose their true identity.” It had become a sort of hobby for Taehyung to try and crack the code of Purple Panda. He enjoyed their art so much that he figured finding them would be next best to actually creating the pieces himself. 

He followed every lead that filled his social feeds and he even roped Namjoon and Jimin into the whole ordeal. You on the other hand were content with knowing nothing of this person aside from what they paint on buildings. You’ve tried and failed to get Taehyung to let go of this idea that he could find the elusive artist, but he just poked fun at you for being jealous or asked questions like this one.

“I’m going to go and grab us some pizza, why don’t you watch a movie or something, hmm?” You pat Taehyung’s arm and peck his cheek, your purse being thrown over one shoulder. 

“Yeah, sure.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets and watches you walk out of the house, the door clicking shut behind you. He walks to the front, pacing back and forth near the window to allow himself to watch you pull out of the drive. When he’s sure that you won’t be pulling back in he makes a beeline to the hall closet, Yeontan hot on his trail. “I think I know why she hates Purple Panda so much, Tannie.”

The dog yaps, jumping around Taehyung as he bends to the ground pulling at a box that’s stuffed deep in the junk filled closet. Yeontan nips at his pant legs, like he’s trying to stop Taehyung from completing his task, but Taehyung simply scoops the dog up and cuddles him to his chest. He manages to wrestle the box out with his one free hand and he places Yeontan back into the hall where the dog trots away indignantly.

Taehyung had grown increasingly suspicious of your behavior in the past few weeks and had taken to keeping a close eye on you. His first avenue was to assume the worst, the odd hours in which you’d claim to have errands or plans with friends not making the choice difficult. It was Namjoon’s comforting voice of reason that had talked him down from that ledge and since then he’s been grasping at anything to connect your behavior. 

The latest in his growing suspicions is the way in which you disregard his excitement for his most recent favorite artist. Purple Panda is a tagger, an expert in Taehyung’s opinion, and has been running throughout the city making their mark for the better part of a year now. The first time he’d come to you with full cheeks and his phone resting in his palm you’d been just as excited as him. The new artist becoming a popular topic of discussion between the two of you. 

That had all changed after the first month, when Taehyung had decided that he wanted to meet this infamous tagger no matter what it took. It was a usual night, the two of you cuddled up in bed when he’d shared his plans with you. The way you had stiffened beneath him should’ve been his first clue that something was wrong, but he’d thought nothing of it, the chill that often filled the room a logical enough explanation. 

Now, he had taken notice of your hasty subject changes and how you avoided fully answering any questions he had pertaining to the Purple Panda. In fact, it seemed that the more he dug in the more annoyed you got with him. You weren’t snapping, but there was definitely a slight edge to your voice when you would issue him a response. 

Taehyung had again expressed his beliefs with Namjoon who told him that the best way to find out the truth would be for him to confront you directly. That was when Jimin had opted to butt into the conversation and tell Taehyung that was the worst idea.

“She’s not just gonna come and tell you flat out. You have to be smarter than her, do a little sleuthing and wait until you have proof.” This idea sounded much more appealing to Taehyung, perhaps because it allowed him to put his detective skills to the test though he would never admit the underlying excitement. So he’d taken to paying extra close attention to you when you left and when you came home. The way you reacted to different questions and conversations.

When he’d spoken to you today he noted a twitch in your nose, a tell-tale sign that you were keeping something from him. Over the past weeks he had picked up on your routine. You would come into the house and sometimes immediately open the closet door before coming to greet him and oftentimes open it again before you left. One of these times he stepped into the closet and looked for any sign that you’d disrupted one of the multitudes of storage boxes piled into the tiny space.

He’d spotted a box slightly protruding from the back and pulled it out immediately to find that there was nothing inside save for an old dirty rag. He figured that whatever you were taking whenever you left the house must be kept in that box. If he was as good a detective as he liked to believe he guessed that the box would be filled with spray paint. He intended to sneak out of bed tonight to see if his assumptions were true, but your sudden decision to leave the house gave him a window of opportunity. So here he sits, the box before him, filled with what he hopes is the answer to his mystery. The box is much heavier than the first time he’d come across it which he found a good sign.

“Here goes,” He says to no one in particular, his hand coming to lift the cardboard flap that hid the contents from view. His eyes had involuntarily, his nerves getting the best of him. If what he finds isn’t what he’s expecting he isn’t sure what it could be or how he’ll react.

He takes a deep breath and peers into the box. 

“Gotcha,” He smiles from ear to ear, half used spray paint cans stuffed into a worn duffle greeting him. He lifts one of the cans, a purple one adorning the name of your chosen pseudonym and he smiles at his excellent deductive reasoning. 

When the shock and triumph wears off  he begins to wonder why you would hide something from him. But more importantly how you got into tagging in the first place. You’d told him plenty of times that there were many dangers that came from this form of expression and he can’t imagine a reason why you would put yourself in danger of getting caught. 

He slumps against the wall, tossing a can back and forth between his hands while he thinks. His head snaps toward the front door when he hears you struggling on the other side, the ruffling of your purse and the mumbled obscenities almost bringing a smile to his face. He glances between the door and the paint, contemplating his next move.

Confront or let it go?

He wants nothing more than to confront you, make you tell him why you’d kept it a secret from him, but he’s also certain that there had to be a logical reason and he doesn’t want to pressure you. Just as you’re sliding your key into the door he makes the decision to stuff the paint back into the box and the box back into the closet. 

“Hey, the line was so short today. Lucky us!” You hold the pizza you’d purchased out and he takes the box with a smile. “What have you been up to?”

“Nothing, just trying to find out more about Purple Panda.” He watches you visibly flinch, covering it with a smile as you lead him to the kitchen. “I was kind of thinking you’re right though.”

“Yeah? About what?” 

“If they want to be discovered then they’ll do it in their own time.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” You send him a smile and slide the pizza onto the table. Taehyung slides into his chair and grabs your hand placing a gentle kiss against your knuckles. 

“And I will wait forever if that’s what it takes.”

[hollyand-writes]

5 Questions (fic meme)

I was tagged all the way back in December 2019 by the lovely @kagetsukai – thanks so much! ❤️  Sorry that it’s taken me, um, 7 months to get around to doing this! I think at the time I was feeling a bit too low about my writing (and, frankly, fandom) back then to be able to answer any writing memes, but I’m back on my bullshit now so LET’S DO THIS! 💪🏾 

I tag whoever wants to do this! 😃 

Let’s talk about “A Chance Engagement”, my Regency AU Carver/Merrill multi-chaptered longfic! 

1) What was the idea that started the story?

Two things: The first thing was this post that made me wonder what Carver would look like marching around in tight Regency breeches, and that got me thinking of all kinds of scenarios where he’d be marching around in them (also please have my bad Photoshop art. Thanks @fragilespark for enabling me, haha!).

The second thing was that not long after, @lucyrne was one of the randomly-selected prizewinners for the @carvermerrill blog giveaway when it reached 250 followers (random fun fact: it now has 366 followers; not bad for a rare-pairing!) and she gave me the following prompt: 

...I think what I'd really love is a prompt that involves them dressing up for some reason. Like going to a ball and actually getting to enjoy it instead of thwarting assassinations or fighting dragons ... 

After I asked her if a Regency AU would be OK with her, she replied: 

I was thinking something canonverse, but if an AU inspired you go for it. 

And, um, three years later, here we are. (I’m so sorry your blog giveaway prize has taken this long, Lucyrne!) 

2) Did you make an outline? Did you stick to it?

Kind of? I mean, I’m following the plot of Pride & Prejudice (the novel version, and maybe sort of the 1995 BBC adaptation) for the most part, especially with the main pairing (Carver/Merrill) and one of the other side-pairings (the Wickham/Lydia equivalent), but there is another subplot going on with F!Hawke/Isabela (i.e. Marian Hawke) and their secret romance which is very loosely based on their Dragon Age 2 romance arc, although it won’t exactly follow that arc. 

I tend to make a very loose and subject-to-change outline for my longfic after pantsing a few paragraphs/pages to get some thoughts down and some scenes out of my head, but then I start to string things together by coming up with some sort of plot to include the scenes in, and that’s what I’ve done here. I’ve got a list of bullet points of plot points I need to cover overall, and then I drill down deeper into each chapter and what they will cover every batch of several chapters. I haven’t always stuck to those more detailed chapter-by-chapter outlines, but I have stuck to the overall plot outline. 

3) What’s the favourite part of your story?

A certain rejected proposal that happened in Chapter 41. I was laughing about that for at least a year before I was finally able to release the chapter – it was so hard sitting on that plot twist for so long!

4) Who is your favourite character and why?

Probably the Arishok. His sole purpose in the fic is to just turn up and ruin everything, LOL. I’ve also really enjoyed writing the De Launcets, as well – writing the bitchy sisters Babette and Fifi and their brother Emile with his shit chat-up lines has been great, they’re just my favourite disaster family and writing their meanness has been fun. 

5) Did anything happen that surprised you as you were writing? 

I was actually surprised that the de Launcet sisters ended up having as big a role as they did, and that there was so little of Emile. I was also surprised at just how long it would take me to get from one plot point to another, that getting from plot point A to plot point B in my rough outline would take several chapters and a bunch of exposition and worldbuilding in order to build and complete the path there. 

I am also surprised that I’m still going. I thought this would be done in like 15 chapters and 20,000 words?!? AHAHAHAHAHA I WAS SO WRONG but I’m also surprised that I’ve got a fic past the 60,000-word mark and that I haven’t flagged and that I’m still interested in writing and finishing it, even if I am slow! 

The other reason I’m surprised I’m still going is actually because trying to write in a Regency style of English is really, really, really hard for me, and I don’t always enjoy doing it, even though (paradoxically) I really enjoy writing this fic???? despite my feelings about the style I write it in??? I can’t really explain it. It kind of feels like I was meant to write this fic, somehow, and I think so far it’s the most “me” out of all multi-chaptered fics I’ve publicly released to AO3. 

The BIGGEST surprise I got, however, was that this longfic would be as loved as it was/is, and that I’d have so many lovely, awesome, wonderful people reaching out to tell me how much they love my fic and look forward to each update ❤️  Back when I started, I only had like 3 readers, and out of those, only Lucyrne was a regular commenter of mine – I remembered being disappointed at first, but then I thought “eh, this is the story I want to write, and I love diving into this world and this AU so I’m going to finish it even if Lucyrne ends up being my only reader”. So I stopped worrying about my lack of audience and just... carried on writing it, just for the sheer fun of writing it. 

I was genuinely not prepared at all for so many readers to discover my longfic somewhere around Chapters 9 to 15, and to come along for the ride with me. But I appreciate it and love you all. Thank you all so, so much. 😘❤️

[naysaltysalmon]

Shoutout to @tiburme for tagging me~!

Rules: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people.

Oh, massive spoilers below btw.

1. Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter: My favorite shounen protagonist by far. At first you think he’s your typical happy-go-lucky bouncy boye :D who definitely doesn’t have abandonment issues or self-destructive tendencies that literally actually almost kill him later on, and then, uwu... The amount of complexity that Gon has as a protagonist who hardly ever has stand-alone development is nothing short of astounding. How during the Chimera Ant Art his characterization totally dips off to the side to become an unknowable entity even to the audience, while still retaining amazing character development regardless -- not to mention how brilliantly daring his decision to threaten Komugi is that nearly every other author with such a happy-go-lucky protagonist would shy away from in cowardice -- is absolutely surreal to me. The more I think and write about Gon, the more I fall in love with him. If I ever meet his father, and by that I mean his real father, the creator, Togashi, I have nothing else to say but,,, well done, sir.

2. Tanjirou Kamado from Demon Slayer: I’m really hoping the Demon Slayer movie comes out soon because I absolutely love this boy and how charming he is. Unlike most protagonists, not just of shounen anime but of seemingly macho story lines that involve power-ups and training in general, Tanjirou never lets go of his kind heart. (Welp, except maybe in some cases when he’s facing the Upper Moons later on -- I haven’t caught up yet -- but WE’RE GONNA IGNORE THAT for now.) From the beginning, Tanjirou’s kindness isn’t an obstacle holding back his power, though other characters pose it that way, but rather he cultivates his empathy to grant peace to the demons he faces. He smiles in the face of anyone who treats him poorly because of his cluelessness, and that’s just so heartwarming to see, and dare I say subversive to the hardened, calculating, and cocky male protagonists we so often get. Good job, Gotouge.

3. Joseph Joestar from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Giorno Giovanna was a close second, but I gotta go with Joseph. He’s the one who made me fall in love with the series, and with the later parts too. Unlike Jonathan Joestar, who was chivalrous and manly, Joseph was a riot: colorful, arrogant, funny, but also extremely clever. I absolutely loved his, “Next you’ll say...!” because at first I expected it to just be him being an overconfident asshole and eventually he’d be proven wrong at the ~Dai Pinchi Moment~ (please excuse my weeb speech, I legit didn’t know what else to call it), but then he hit the mark every time and eventually I was just waiting for when he’d pull that out and it was so hype. Also I surely can’t forget his transformation as an old dude in Part 3 -- him screaming “OOHHHH MY GAAAWDDDA!” and “HOLY SHIIIT!” murdered me every time. And of course, last but not least, the raw fucking emotion when Caeser died -- the dude actually gave a shit and wasn’t made entirely of wit and absurdity, but heart too. Joseph set the tone for what JJBA was as a whole for me (fuck off with that “but Part 3/Part 4 is the best Part” bullshit, Part 2 will always be top tier for me because of Joseph Joestar’s brilliant, bright, and beautiful absurdity -- but Part 5 was really good too). Araki really is a genius.

4. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: My love for this series is a bit older than the series I’ve already mentioned, and TLoZ: TP was actually probably the first time I got seriously obsessed with a fandom. I love all the Links in their own ways, but Twilight Princess really drove home the “lone wolf chosen by the gods, fighting against the world” narrative for me. It made me feel important and strong at a time when no one cared about me. Seeing Link struggle silently through his quest with villagers who meant well but did nothing for him, and Midna who started out as a reluctant acquaintance and eventually became so much more, meant so much to me at the time I played the game. I will always love Twilight Princess the most because of what it did for me at one of the darkest times in my life, and because I felt completely and utterly immersed in every part of the story and gameplay through Link’s character, who was, and in many ways, still is, so relatable to me: Silent courage really is what I use to get through every day.

5. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood): For once I’m not naming the protagonist of a series! Lissen, I still smile whenever I see the slightest reference to Edward Elric, but now he’s more of my childhood love. He’s just a part of my personality already? LOL. Anyway, FMA(B) has so many good characters that choosing just one doesn’t feel right (I mean, same with HxH tho). I say Greedling because that encompasses both Ling and Greed though, two of my favorite characters from the series! Ling’s apparent childishness in constantly running away from fights, making other people pay for his food, and failing to grasp the seriousness of the situation (until Lan Fan’s arm gets cut off lol oops) is so adorable and entertaining. He’s the best kind of idiot asshole, and I especially love how he teases Ed. After him and Greed fuse, Ling’s stout heart becomes even more apparent, as he constantly eggs Greed on to remember his past life, his friends, and become someone outside of Father/the Dwarf in the Flask. Conversely, Greed’s nonchalance and (of course) avarice are nothing short of entertaining and heartbreaking. Greed’s realization at the end, when he finally admitted to himself that what he wanted all along were “friends like these,” completely crushed me the first few times I watched FMAB. And when he’s screaming in the tunnels under Central after having killed Bido, remembering his friends, and he doesn’t understand why, and later attacks Wrath/King Bradley... that shit was so entertaining and cathartic to watch. None of his development feels like forced redemption, nor like it was too little development, since it mostly happens in the background and away from the “validating eyes” of the protagonists other than Ling. And at the end, when Ling and Greed work together to take down Bradley and all the soldiers invading Central HQ... it’s so beautiful. Many have said this before but I’ll say it again: Hiromu Arakawa wrote the perfect series.

6. Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler: Another protagonist! And another older obsession of mine. Ciel remains in my mind to this day mainly for his heartlessness in relation to his age, and the fluidity with which Toboso tells his story. Normally when authors write younger characters into their serious stories, they make “child adults” of sorts, but Ciel feels totally realistic to the extent that he is both childish and adult to me. Obviously, Ciel is responsible and (normally) level-headed due to being the head of the Phantomhive household, but also from trauma. Yet, his cruelty at times is what sticks in my mind the most: You really feel that he’s someone who feels he’s been abandoned by the entire world, given his experiences, and that makes him disregard or use others sometimes in order to reach his own ends. Normally, authors would be too cowardly to let their protagonists, let alone child protagonists, go to such lengths to avenge their family, or carry out their duty as the dog of the military (looking at you, Arakawa -- she’s still a goddess tho). But Ciel is unforgiving. He lies to Snake and tells him his troupe is still alive. He murders the entire troupe because he’s triggered -- a childish decision, but driven with adult-like power due to trauma. It’s devastatingly riveting, and I cannot forget his unrelenting, contained rage to this day.

7. Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This one may come as a shock to most of you, because I hardly ever post Star Wars let alone Ahsoka content on here -- but it’s true. Other than the blatant, half-assedly inserted heteroromantic partner they gave Ahsoka in, like, idk season 3??, Ahsoka is a fucking goddess. From her origin as a wee baby in the earlier seasons who didn’t really know what she was doing and was a bit of a cocky brat, to how she matures and becomes wise, resourceful, and fierce in the later seasons, I just love Ahsoka’s design and character to this day. The episodes that stick in my mind aside from the obvious are when she’s possessed by the Dark Side of the Force on that Force balance planet and her arrogance becomes so exaggerated that she threatens and attacks Anakin, her teacher. It was so fucking cathartic. Normally female characters, let alone young protagonist female characters, are never allowed to show the ugly sides of themselves in fiction, since women are always portrayed as perfect beautiful majestic angels or some bullshit like that. (Or they’re cocky/sexy/slutty villain women. ‘Kay then.) Seeing Ahsoka devolve into her basal desires and come out of it like hardly anything happened and she’s still a perfectly valid character was so amazing to see on a meta level; it wasn’t about her learning a lesson or anything, it was a thing that happened like any other character and then they moved the fuck on. I also distinctly remember the episode where she was trapped on that island/planet and she had to take out the aliens that were after her all by herself. That was so fucking empowering to watch and god fucking dammit I need to rewatch this series now. And of course, let us not forget the fact that the entire time, we were all expecting Ahsoka to just be another domino in Anakin’s downfall -- and she was, but not through the refrigerator -- but through walking away from it all. That was so powerful and moving -- and heartbreaking. By the end of TCW, her character carried weight and agency in the narrative, and god, I only wish whoever wrote her could write more female characters in the future.

8. Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Maybe another surprise, but I think she deserves this spot. Tigress is a female character who starts out as kind of an antagonist, given how she outright tells Po to leave the kung fu temple within the first day of him arriving. She’s even jealous of the fact that he’s chosen as the Dragon Warrior rather than her -- but that’s due to the backwash of years of trying to live up to the memory of Tai Lung in order to please Shifu (which means “master” in Chinese but ok I’ll shut up now), her master and mentor over the years. She never says this out loud in the movie, which is what makes her character more believable. Others even joke about how stoic she is (and not in bad taste). Her character development is definitely present for those who are looking -- but I put her on this list because I’m so happy the movie doesn’t make it some huge dramatic emotional thing, because so often in media women are depicted as being overly-emotional and here Tigress is just a hurt child trying to make her mentor happy. But, she gets over it, her and Po become allies, even friends to each other -- she and Po talk like equals in the second and third movies, and she even tells him to back out of the fight with Lord Shen and he listens (I mean he doesn’t stay put but he doesn’t undermine her opinion either lol, like most jokesy protagonists of Western media would -- looking at you, Marvel). I like Tigress because she’s an antagonist without being a bitch, she’s powerful without being overpowered, and she’s not sexualized despite being a well-trained, at times jealous, and even emotionally awkward kung fu master. And I almost forgot to mention the best part: There is never an indication of romance between her and Po, or any other character, for that matter. She’s perfectly capable, complex, and lovely on her own terms. And that’s that on THAT.

9. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit: I wanted to include at least one character protagonist from a live-action movie/book, lol. I feel like Bilbo’s pretty self-explanatory. He doesn’t wanna go on an adventure because he likes his doilies and warm sheets, but then Gandalf seduces him with the call to the outside world and possible death (LOL), and he fucking goes for it, grumbling the entire time. Isn’t that what any of us would do if given such a proposition? I like to think so. Bilbo obviously has his own gradual, evil transformation with the One Ring, becomes murderous and uses it to disappear, and grows a strong bromance with the King Under the Mountain (which happens in both the movie and the book), but I think what I like about him is that he really feels... down-to-earth? Like even though the adventure changes him, it never feels like he’s been stretched in a way that makes his core character traits of grumbling and bluntness disappear. He gets better at the whole adventuring thing, for sure, but he remains Bilbo, at least, to me, throughout the journey. It was heartwrenching watching him try to save Thorin in The Battle of Five Armies, honestly, but Bilbo’s the kind of character that I feel like has his own story and mythology aside from The Hobbit, and maybe that’s just the result of J.R.R. Tolkien writing the lore for every aspect of his universe, but My Point Still Stands. He feels like his own man apart from the series he’s in, yet he’s still so much fun in his series.

10. Barley Lightfoot from Onward: And last, this one is because I saw Onward yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the characterization in it -- and anyone who thinks differently can kiss my *ss. :) I was not expecting the movie to take the twist of fleshing out the “annoying” (more like adorable) overconfident nerdy big brother. Normally those characters are swiped to the side because God Forbid The Comic Relief Have Any Sadness In Them. I was expecting the movie to focus on Ian’s journey to meet his fatha and that the movie would pull something stupid at the end like “oh actually there’s another phoenix gem underneath the school” or “actually since only his legs appeared then you still have 24 hours with him” or some shit like that, but I guess this isn’t an anime so those absurdist explanations wouldn’t hold water anyway. But still, for a kid’s movie, I was NOT expecting this movie to go so hard with the characterization. For once, the main character doesn’t get what he wants at the end, and instead realizes it’s his big brother, Barley, who’s been looking out for him his entire life. Meeting his dad would betray that reality. What happens instead is that the lovable big brother never actually said goodbye to their dad before he died, because when their dad got sick, said brother ran away from the hospital room in fear of all the life-sustaining equipment. (Is this some meta thing about Chris Pratt and Guardians of the Galaxy? Off topic and call me stupid, but I didn’t realize Chris Pratt plays him until I saw everyone freaking out about it afterward on Tumblr laksjdflak.) So instead, the lovable big brother talks to the dad at the end, and unconfident younger brother grows confidence and thanks big bro for being with him his entire life. It was so touching, dude. I cry. But the moment that sticks in my mind the most was when Ian was crossing the invisible bridge... Ian needed to have confidence in himself to be able to cross over a chasm in their path, and Barley knew that if Ian didn’t believe in himself, he would fall and die. They tie a rope around Ian for good measure, and Barley encourages him the entire way, but halfway over, the rope comes loose and slips off. Barley sees this and starts panicking, but of course continues to encourage Ian so that Ian will get to the other side. What got to me wasn’t the fact that he faked it for Ian, but that there are actual tears running down his face as he’s encouraging Ian to get to the other side, because he knows otherwise Ian wouldn’t have the confidence and would fall to his death. Like dude, that raw, complex emotion in a kid’s movie?! DUDE?! I was fucking surprised. The clear anxiety and grief in Barley’s face as Ian’s totally clueless and even dancing around in the air was just too much, omfg. Of course, then it’s played off for laughs, but... I guess that makes sense for the annoying overconfident nerdy big bro character. :’)

Okay these are way longer than I anticipated and I’m sorry, but also I’m really not. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on my favs!

Seems I don’t talk to that many people on here anymore: @stupidbluejay @mirycactusito @chronicstarlight

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[avenger-hawk]

i just read one of your asks about your future fics. have you considered writing about sasukes interactions with karin?? not sasukarin (but sasukarin is still a good ship!!) but i really like your karin meta and would love to see her in your fics, even if she isnt part of a ship!!

wow Anon I just realized in the last nice ask I received about my writing I forgot to mention a suisasu oneshot I started writing as a drabble here…I haven’t thought about writing something centered on Sasuke and Karin, usually I wrote about Team Taka as a team, as in my Team Taka headcanons here, here and in bits of In Power (ff.net/ ao3) and What He Wanted (ff.net/ ao3).

I know what you mean when you love a character like Karin and you want to see her more, even in a not shippy context. And I totally agree that SasuKarin really IS a good ship, the only worthy Sasuke ship with a girl, tbh. (I think Sasuino would be ok too but I’m not interested in it all all as I find it boring, and I prefer Saiino anyway).

(needless to say: SS shippers, don’t read, this is not for you. And since it’s properly tagged as anti, don’t bitch)

It’s only a matter of personal taste, I’m usually more interested in rarer pairings, and because when I think of Team Taka ships I’m more intrigued by suisasu and juusasu that in my opinion have room for both ‘healthy’ dynamics and darker ones. But if I weren’t so slow and full of future writing projects as you read, I’d totally like to write them. In fact, I’m gonna leave some random headcanons here cause I’m sorry I’m not able to write all the things I have in mind and you guys mention, AND because I’m so late replying to this ask that I feel guilty xD

My favourite things to read and write isn’t romance but dark stuff and hurt/comfort, so I would love some hurt/comfort between them, and there is a lot of possibility for this, just thinking about canon. I actually see SK hurt/comfort as canon behind the screen so you may have an idea already, both for shippy and non-shippy stuff.

For example, there’s nothing about Sasuke’s years at Otogakure but we know he was always with Orochimaru, not only training or taking poisons/drugs to get stronger, but also visiting other hideouts and assisting to his horrible experiments as well as seeing/meeting Suigetsu and Karin, mostly, as she was not a prisoner but a subordinate, kinda like Kabuto. She saw more about Sasuke than the others in Team Taka, and this may mean a lot of things. For example like in this fanart, inspired by that Karin-centric filler episode (I think 331) where she witnesses Orochimaru taking Sasuke in a dark room which seems quite creepy and may be interpreted as…eh, you get it. And there’s also Kabuto telling her that Sasuke sought Orochimaru, that he came her by his own choice…that, in this dark context, that he is ok with things being done to him (it’s the price for power). 

So it’s interesting to imagine Karin being more and more intrigued by this person, who saved her in the past, when they were genin, and who now came to her creepy leader that she knows very well, and ‘lets’ him do all sorts of things to him. Some random headcanons coming, more or less connected

-(tw: pain) Otogakure: she’s doing some work and she overhears someone moaning in pain, and she sees Sasuke shirtless, strapped to a table/bed and kind of squirming, as he’s been injected poison for his training and he’s clearly suffering.

(She takes his hand and tries to comfort him. She thinks he was in too much pain to remember but some time later he tells her ‘thank you. For being beside me that day’)

-(tw: r*pe) Orochimaru leaves the creepy room and tells her to heal Sasuke. When she enters she sees him battered bruised and bloodied everywhere, looking in pain and lost, defeated, and it’s easy to understand what happened, and that it’s neither a first nor a last time, but when he sees her he puts up a tough face, cause he doesn’t know her and he doesn’t know if he can trust her as maybe she’s like Kabuto. He can’t imagine that she (like in my Team Taka headcanons part 2) was r*ped too by Orochimaru, that most of his ‘most interesting subjects’ have been at least once. He’s the most special which means Oro always comes to him ‘to toughen him up’ and ‘train’ him or ‘just’ to be repayed for making him stronger, and he’s constantly manipulated by him (that he’s not as strong as Itachi, that he needs him to be stronger and defeat his brother, and so on) and she knows this. She, too, is wary of him cause he might be so manipulated that he supports him and if she says something wrong he might tell Oro who might punish her and she is ok with him now, he leaves her be without molesting her, so she wants to keep the peace. So she’s discreet and heals him, not in the impersonal way Kabuto does though. Sasuke appreciates silently.

-(tw: random violence and blood) Inspired by this amazing fanart by @lisimba-art. Sasuke is trained to use his curse mark, but it’s hard to completely control his powers in that form, with those weird wings and everything. So it’s exhausting for his body but also for his mind, he can’t even think straight at some point, and he can’t control his emotions either, even though he tries hard cause he can’t be weak. Orochimaru makes him fight against other ‘test subjects’ with the curse mark or with other powers he developed on them, and Sasuke kills them…he hates killing, as there is only one person he wants to kill. He feels his body move and he can’t avoid it, he feels his nails slashing another human and can’t avoid it, it’s horrible, it’s like being trapped in a nightmare. 

Karin stumbles on the fighting ground and sees him. They know each other by then, she is worried about him, many in Oto bet on how long he will last, if he will last, when Orochimaru will ‘devour’ him, if the curse mark will ‘devour’ him first. When she sees him Orochimaru, who was observing him with Kabuto, left already. Sasuke is standing alone, a few corpses around him. She approaches him, talking slowly and calmly, to check his wounds. Nothing too serious, the most worrying thing is his mental/emotional state, cause he looks around without actually seeing things, he seems lost, troubled. 

It takes a few minutes for him to see the one who’s speaking to him, and when he does he’s not in his usual state anyway, Karin can tell not just from his chakra but from his body language. He’s standing so, so close to her, his shoulders are hunched and his eyes are empty, or somewhere else still. Or maybe they want to be somewhere else, she can’t tell. She should feel the heat radiating from his toned body -she dreamt of a moment like this- but the tanned version of what is normally pale is so cold..maybe he got so close because she’s warm instead.   

“Sasuke…bite me, you’ll get some chakra back and you won’t feel cold anymore,“ she tells him, but he just hovers over her, silent as a hawk watching its prey, but unlike it, just staring at her. 

“I killed all of them” Sasuke’s voice is low and raspy, but he’s back, she’s glad but also sad because he’s clearly upset by what happened and she knows why. Everyone does. 

- (tw: mentions of blood/violence/r*pe) This works both for Otogakure and for Hebi/Taka travelling. Night time, Karin hears some low pained sounds and she realizes it’s Sasuke having a nightmare, about either the above mentioned moment where he was forced to kill random people, or about some abuse Orochimaru inflicted on him, either directly or through someone else like Kabuto. He suddenly wakes up and realizes Karin was there. She tries comforting him by saying that she knows what he felt back then cause she was done similar things, and also Suigetsu and Kabuto and others, even though she doesn’t minimize his experience (as Oro’s favourite he took more than others of whom he soon got tired). It’s a hurt/comfort moment where they share intimate traumatic experiences and bond.

Bonus dark points if the experience Sasuke had a nightmare of, involved the aforementioned indirect abuse inflicted by Orochimaru but indirectly, through his current comrades Suigetsu and Juugo, ofc hypnotized/drugged/in some trance. Karin connects with the way he sometimes looks at them when he’s more tired and vulnerable, almost imperceptibly but she can see chakra shifts. They talk, he doesn’t say anything but the things he said in his sleep were obvious so she tries to make him admit and he does, as he’s honest. He doesn’t blame them, he knows they were under Orochimaru’s power just like he was during his curse mark mode when he wasn’t able to control it.

He thinks that Suigetsu and Juugo don’t even remember that experience but they do, exactly like he does with his killing random people in curse mode form. 

More bonus dark points if Karin assisted to the traumatic thing cause she was Oro’s assistant too, sort of.

Related to my Akatsuki AU that is mostly in my mind for now (how unexpected lol) and it’s Itachi/Sasuke centric but there’s also a lot of Sasuke interactions (like, with Deidara a lot, I just like the idea) and lots of Team Taka that exists in this context first as Orochimaru’s subordinates along with Kabuto, then as Sasuke’s comrades, cause while Itachi is a full fledged Akatsuki, like Orochimaru (he never left Akatsuki in my AU), Sasuke is not, and like Orochimaru has subordinates affiliates to the Akatsuki, Itachi has Sasuke. Unlike Akatsuki wearing cloaks with red clouds, Akatsuki ‘lesser’ members wear black cloaks like Sasuke and Team Taka wore in canon. They are given missions too, they’re younger and less experienced that the others and their interactions and dynamics are similar to canon ones.

Uh Anon why did you make me think of more interesting scenarios tho, I had too many already lol

[izzy-b-hands]

20-30!

Thank you so much for asking!!!!

20. Favorite character to write?

Already answered, but I don’t mind re-answering cuz I thought maybe I’d narrow my three way tie, but alas, no lol. Still a tie between Ahkmenrah, Snafu, and Skwisgaar.

21. Least favorite character to write? 

Ooh-tbh, Larry from NATM just because I feel like I always make him an asshole? Like, I haven’t published all my fic ideas for NATM because I keep making him really mean? And in some it works but in others I’m like ‘jesus chill Lee he’s just a Dude trying his best’ but also at the same time I feel the way Stiller played him and his character arc means he’s got some major ego to him as the films go on? Idk that isn’t a hot take or anything just me being frustrated with Ben Stiller lol

22. Favorite story you’ve ever written? 

Hard choice, because I love all my kids, but I cried after writing this one lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

It hit some personal stuff for me, so to be able to have it work organically in a fic so I could also like, mini therapy session myself? Cool af. Also, ppl seemed to like this a lot too, and while that validation isn’t the only reason I write, it’s always cool when my writing makes ppl happy. 

23. Least favorite story you’ve ever written? 

I don’t really have a least favorite, but I do have some I’m more frustrated with, due to how long they took me to write, etc. Currently? The answer to this is my Mark the Date series because A. it is taking me a day and an age to finish it and B. I feel like it kinda flopped, so it’s hard to pull up any energy to finish it, but like...I may as well now lol. I’ll get it done eventually.

24. Favorite scene you’ve written? 

Oh god tbh I have too many I love just cuz like

I can go back to how I felt writing them and yeah

But as of most recent fics, I really this bit: 

-Snafu patted the blanket near his head, and waited for Eugene to put out his pipe and lay back beside him before snuggling close to him. “You could be right. Could be God. Could just be love.” “How’s that?” “I think love has its own way. Even before you meet someone, even before you know you’re fallin’ for ‘em. Love’s just…out there, like the air or somethin’. Finds you when the time is right, and finds who you click with. You gotta do the rest, the stayin’ in love part, but that bringing together, that first spark…that’s love just existing, and doin’ what it needs to so the world keeps spinnin’, so people make it through tough shit,” Snafu replied. “I like that,” Eugene said. “Think love did a good job with us. Makin’ sure we found each other.” Snafu pressed a kiss softly to the corner of Eugene’s mouth. “Sure did. Wouldn’t ever want to be with anyone else. I don’t even know what that looks like, and I don’t want to.” “Same here,” Eugene’s mouth was warm as he kissed him back. “Here’s to love for making sure you found me.” -

from this fic: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186926226531/absolution-is-the-taste-of-your-lips

Because I’m sappy af more than I let on, and also this was a chance to like, write out my own feelings via Snafu. And that was a pretty cool and fulfilling thing for me, ya know? 

25. Favorite line you’ve ever written? 

oh god this is another hard one to narrow down but

I always come back to this line and go ‘oh shit did I really write that. Nah, someone better than me at this had to have. They briefly possessed me or something”:  

-Music and talking and shouting and footsteps collide kaleidoscopic in his ears, but none bearing the one sound that he’d run to if he heard it.-

from this fic, mentioned twice now in this post lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

I really love alliteration, and for me this line just sums up how it feels to walk thru a city when you aren’t just wandering really, but are looking or waiting for someone, and have that awful yet sometimes good feeling of expecting to hear or see them but it feels like you’re waiting or searching forever and in the meantime the city just lives on around you, a stopped platelet stuck in a vein full of vitality. Like, idk if it hit any of my readers that way, but that’s what I was trying to get across lol, so the line always hits me hard in a good way when I scroll thru my writing tag and see it. 

26. Story you’re most proud of? 

Gosh

I gotta choose just one kid for this aldsfkja I’m bad at choosing I love my gaggle of ragtag goofballs. I have an original piece I’d choose for this, but I’ve never posted it on here, so I’m gonna choose out of my fanfic on here instead.

One I am really proud of is this one: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

and I know it’s the third time it’s been part of an answer on here but

I really love this one idk. Thinking back to how I felt while writing it, how it all flowed in a certain way. The whole experience was just something else, and I’m proud of this one in a certain way I find myself, funnily enough, unable to describe. 

27. Best review you ever got? 

Okay this sounds cheesy but like

I really do love and appreciate every review or review-like thing I’ve ever gotten so I can’t choose just one for this

Like, y’all gotta understand, I’ve deleted some of it and erased traces of it from my blog, but I’ve written for years on here, I have some stuff on my ao3, and for the longest time I got nothing back, or very nearly nothing. Maybe a few likes, but no comments and not much else. I always just rolled with it and assumed I just wasn’t writing anything good enough to inspire reviews. Idk if that’s true or not, but in any case it means I cherish every comment, like, reblog, and anything review-like in nature because I’m so grateful to have it now, and I know it could well be pure luck that I stumbled up on a really supportive bunch of fandoms with great readers. 

In other words, thank y’all for every kind word and like and reblog and also I may be an immortal feeding off of validation of my art, but we’ll see on that last bit, because I haven’t tested it. 

28. Worst review you ever got?

One from middle school. I’d just finished my very first novel, gave it to a friend to read, and he said it ‘smacked of being too fanciful and childish, something only kids and women would read’ (it was a YA fantasy novel so I mean... what exactly he expected, idk cuz he knew what it was before I gave it to him, like it’s supposed to have those elements as a lot of these sorts of novels/stories do, and that isn’t a bad thing about them at all, so like...what his damage was idek.)

Also this is the same dude who texts me randomly and is really weird abt his friendship with me and happens to be an English teacher now (RIP to his students.) 

Anyway, after he said that I tossed a review right back, because well, middle school and also I was very upset with him because I’d not asked for anything other than a general ‘if you picked this up randomly and started it, would it suck you in enough to keep reading or would you put it down’ like that was literally all I needed him to answer for me. So I told him his latest novel (his second at that point) was essentially just him masturbating to his own opinions (because he’s an arguer, who loves to tell ppl they’re always wrong, and that’s by his own admission) for one hundred pages, and not in a way that anyone else would care to read. He was pissed, but so was I. We didn’t talk for a good week, and we had almost all our classes together lol. 

Like, getting nothing back in review sucks too, but this one has stuck with me forever. Best part? I mentioned it to him a few years back, and he only vaguely remembered it, and followed it with “but I’ve said a lot of rough stuff about your work. I mean, it deserved it at the time, but you might be good at this someday!” 

I didn’t smack him, but I really, really wanted to. 

29. Favorite story/poem of another author

This doesn’t specify on Tumblr or not, so I’ve got two: one from outside tumblr, and one from on here.

A. When I have Fears That I May Cease to Be by John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be   Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,Before high-pilèd books, in charactery,   Hold like rich garners the full ripened grain;When I behold, upon the night’s starred face,   Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,And think that I may never live to trace   Their shadows with the magic hand of chance;And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,   That I shall never look upon thee more,Never have relish in the faery power   Of unreflecting love—then on the shoreOf the wide world I stand alone, and thinkTill love and fame to nothingness do sink.

B. Again, this Tumblr one could be a huge ass list because y’all on here are amazing, but one I’ve been rereading over and over again recently is @xmxisxforxmaybe ‘s Remnants series, which can be found here: https://xmxisxforxmaybe.tumblr.com/post/186702235396/remnants-complete-work

Like, Ahk as a character is captured so well, and I love the way the plot twines and also when the smut comes up? Very good A+ smut, something I value pretty highly on and off Tumblr because man, sometimes smut is just work to write, so I appreciate it when it’s really good. All around, this series has captured my heart and I legit have a link to it saved on multiple devices so if I need something to read, I can just pull it up right away. 

30. Hardest part of writing? 

Self-doubt. It’s the biggest hurdle for any artist, regardless of the art in question I think, but with writing it seems to double down a lot. Like, you have to really get out of your own head, even as you spend all your time there with your writing ideas. Shit gets weird and twisted, man. 

For the longest time, I really let self-doubt defeat me too, and I regret the time I lost to that. I still get hit with it randomly, cause I don’t think it every really goes away for any writer, not even the big names like Stephen King or Neil Gaiman (who I’m half tempted to @ on here purely because I wanna know his feelings on this stuff because I respect and admire him as an artist and his thoughts very much, but also he’s a very busy man so I’m not gonna bug him by doing that lol.) 

All there is to do is to work with it, push past it, and most importantly keep writing. I have days where that feels like the hardest thing, but each day I manage to get past it and get the words down? I let myself feel proud of that, and mark it as an achievement in my Big Book of Stuff I’ve Done in This Life. 

[summertime-children]

WIP Challenge

Tagged by @kikithedeceiver​ (thanks~)

Tagging: @starspatter​, @cookiehoodie​ and Meli if she ever sees this bc I want a snippet of all her unwritten knkd fics (?) (and if any writer out there needs a nudge to share their WIPs, feel tagged!)

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’ll do what what Kiki did and post titles of my WIPs with comments and short fragments of them? I’ll share here only my kagepro WIPs (so basically kidokano/Kano ones lol). A little warning before we start: it’s going to be very long lol bc I can’t finish fics to save a live and I have... lots of ideas, plus I never get to talk about them >.> Also they’re going to be getting gradually worse bc I’ll go from newest to ancient-est. (Full disclosure tho, those aren’t raw quotes from my WIPs bc some had so visible grammar errors, I just had to fix them + I always put notes in my works, like every second word lol) Here we go.

Listen

Comment: This is the freshiest one, I was writing bits of it merely the day before, and because of that I still naively believe I will finish and post it soon, so I won’t say anything more about it.

”I want you to understand. You… need to know there’s so much to love about you!”

“Haha like what?” he laughed with bitter sounding laugh, something that must had slipped as it was followed by a face she had occasion to see only a few times- a face of regret. Regret of choosing wrong words, wrong mask to put on or forgetting to put her at all.

Different ways to say it

Comment: Just a short fluff where Kano’s snarky bottomness is showing lol

“You should’ve asked ‘Can you kiss me?’ instead.”

Kano is dumbfounded for a few seconds before he snorts.

“Right.” he begins with a playful grin “Let me fix that. Can you, Kido Tsubomi, the fierce leader of Mekakushi Dan, my girlfriend, my sun, my stars, the love of my life, the love of my thousands other lives, do me an absolute honor and light up my da-“

He didn’t even manage to finish before he felt the pair of soft lips landed on his, catching his words.

New chapter

Comment: Won’t say much about it because it’s supposed to be a gift for certain someone~ But here’s a little sneak peek 👀

That was weird. They never really talked about having any pets. They talked about having kids (as much as stating that they want to make a family together during several separate occasions counts), but the topic of having pets was never brought up and in a timespan of living together and even moreso of living alone together, they already had plenty of opportunities to get one. And yet Kano always knew that when Kido pictured their future family together there was also present a small ball of fur waving its tail and he could see it in her eyes at that moment more visibly than ever.

GrimReaper!Kido x Vampire!Kano

Comment: I was very disappointed with the knkd fanwork of that one Halloween art, so I decided to write something that would satisfy me (with no success so far rip).

The black figure that merged with the ubiquitous dark hanged up the big scythe they were holding on the wall, among the collection of similar but different in sizes scythes, proceeded to take off their shoes (but then put them quickly back on, changing their mind as soon as their feet met with the concrete) and pulled off the black hood of their cloak to reveal the long green hair, something that finally stood out in the darkness, before walking deeper into the room.

I can’t wait to fall in love with you

Comment: Inspired by well, that one sentence that is in the title and lowkey (?) by Meli’s lovely fic~ It’s the kind of fic that I myself call “(not) soulmates au”. It revolves around the idea that after so many timelines of falling in love with each other, they’re just bound to fall in love again... Even when they don’t remember their past lives...

“Oh man, I can’t wait to fall in love with you.” Kido turned her gaze towards the blond lying next to her on the couch. Her widened from being taken aback by his statement eyes met his golden, cat-like ones, tinted with the strange warm spark that she could feel she had yearn for a very long time. It lasted only a second though because soon her brows furrowed and her gaze dropped from those well-too-familiar (given the circumstances) eyes to her hands.

Two cats

Comment: Set in the sort of the au where they never died? On one winter day Kano takes stray cat to his house to take care of. It’s solely Kano fic btw.

Forgetting for a moment about his own advice (why he should had kept repeating it in his head) he looked over his shoulder to see if his stalker was still there and in that moment their gazes lock. “Crap.” He couldn’t help but think ‘curiosity killed the cat’ as a pair of similar eyes to his stared back at him.

hbd kido

Comment: Product of my procrastination. (As you may tell, I have a problem with it). One year I was slightly~ more productive and was kinda disappointed that I didn’t manage to write Christmas fic. So then I thought that I could save some time and write this fic where Kido has joint Birthday-NewYear party with Christmas decorations still lying around (including mistletoe *cough cough*) just in time for KidoKano Day killing not two, but even four birds with one stone. It’s sort of high school au btw.

“Hi.” The boy tried again. His face was embellished with wide grin and slightly flashed cheeks and in his hand she noticed a can of beer. Oh no.

“Hi, Kano.” She said with disinclination. It wasn’t like she didn’t like the guy. Even more, in the normal situation, like average day in the school, she would find a conversation with him a nice or refreshing thing. He was one of a few people that actually knew about her existence and despite her previous prejudice he turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Christmas Event

Comment: I’m not sure what Christmas event that was for lol.

For Kano it was this time of a year when his Mother would stay home the whole day instead of going to work and she would be more kind to him. Though he wouldn’t call it exactly this way (it’s not like he felt she wasn’t kind to him normally after all), but she was definitely more forgiving.

Affectionate meme Requests

Comment: Requested for the writing meme in the year 2016. Keeps it as a reminder of how big loser I am (?) (just what this post manages to do so far lol) The prompt was “love bite” >.>

From her spot she couldn’t see him quite clear, due to the still turned off lights, so it was only up to her imagination to decide whether he recollected his mask or not. Maybe it was the second after all, because excluding two golden eyes that shone at her there were two bright spots that stood out in the dark, both marked on his skin.

M!KidoKano

Comment: It was supposed to be male!Kido x Kano fic and yeah... I’m emberassed about it tbh. Like, by the fact I wanted to write it itself. Idk now I find it rather weird to genderbend only one person from the pairing, especially in the fic and for that reason I won’t share fragment from it. Sadly it’s one of my better written pieces lol and going back to it I see I made male!Kido no differnt from the regular Kido... which makes it a good genderbend I guess, but also completely unnecessary.

Angsty Kano fic

Comment: I have no idea lol There’s almost nothing written there.

Even Greater Fear

Comment: Despite what title may suggest it’s more fluffy than angsty. KanoKido family fluff where Kano gets anxious about how happy he is now and that he might someday lose it too. Featuring my knkd fankids, Naoki and Reika.   

“Mom, dad is sad!” announced Reika with reproach. This she wasn’t expecting.

“What?” Tsubomi asked out of surprise and was followed by a low groan coming from behind the couch that could belong only to her beloved husband.  

“No, I’m not.”  She watched how the expressions of her children slowly changed from the ones of concern to the ones of disappointment and disgust.

“And he’s denying it.”

Inverted

Comment: Silly engagement scenario. If I ever finish that, it'll be my comedic genius’ peak I swear (?)  

He was clearly getting more nervous, the longer the searching wasn’t bringing any results. He let go of Kido’s hand and got his another one to help him search for whatever was supposed to be in that pocket. However, after a while his movements completely stopped and with some kind of dread in the eyes he whispered under his breath, “It’s gone.”

Time

Comment: Angsty setomary fic I wanted to write for SetoMary Spring (anyone remember that?) 

When she moved out to her new family the first thing she noticed was that time has significantly slowed down. Oddly, somehow it did accelerate at the same time. It was hard to explain and she herself couldn’t understand the feeling nor did she give it much consideration, but for the first period of living in that new world, new pace of that very activity- living- has struck her.

One in a million

Comment: An actual soulmates au (with the variation of the red thread concept). It’s way too ambitious for me lol (starting with the fact that it’s supposed to be multi-chapter story). I won’t share a fragment of it bc not much’s written and bc tbh there would be spoilers, in case I ever do post it. I could write about the concept in a seperate post though because I did a lot of world-building for it. (A lot for me, ok?)

Clear and present

Comment: Ghost AU. Baby Kano hides one time in the abandoned, partly burned mantion and that’s where he meets the ghost of (scary) green-haired teenage girl he befriends. Somehow got inspired by that anthology comic? Also I would listen to this song while attempting to write it lol. Not much was written though.

What I didn’t

Comment: This one’s rare. My only attempt at writing harutaka fanfic. (Funnily enough last safe was on kidokano day?... many years ago.)  In the manga Takane was pretty excited to give Haruka a present for his birthday, but he had an attack and was hospitalized so she didn’t and it wasn’t said (?) if she ever gave it to him later. So my idea for this fic was that she didn’t and how she was now trying to give it to him after three years. Took huge inspiration from this song: {x}

She didn’t have to wait long until there were heard slow, but at the same time hurried footsteps behind the door and soon it was followed by the sound of doors being unlocked. The doors before her opened revealing the light-brown-haired boy wearing excited smile and slightly oversized green sweater with embroidered reindeer. And one of these was just the warmest thing in this cold winter world.

Sneeze like a kitten

Comment: Inspired by one line from Gravity Falls lol It was just another thing I wanted to add to list of similarities between Kano and cats and I’m sure it would bring Kido joy too ;3 But as much as I still find this idea cute it is so awkwardly written lol. I kinda appreciate that it’s from Rin’s POV and that I tried using kinda fancier English for that reason (as fancy as I knew back then lol), but I guess first person fics will always sound weird. It’s set in a different route I guess where they sort of met before the orphanage.

Soon I noticed all her glances seemed to be directed at small boy with blond hair sitting alone on the bench, a little away from the playground. At first I was fairly surprised, not understanding why this particular boy had become her spot of interest, but giving more attentive look at the boy made me instantly realize reasons of her intent glances.

Connection

Comment: I have almost nothing written there and I barely remember it, but from what I can see it must be my original idea for the “formal event” prompt from the very first kanokido week. I... think it was sort of an au where they never died and they met at some sort of fancy party held by Kido’s parents where Kano was a waiter.

Oof that’s all (I mean all from the folder on my pc, but I won’t be getting into that). For a fair portion of it, I gotta objectively say there’s absolutely zero chance of me ever finishing them, but then (aside from the freshest ones that I still have on my mind) revisiting all those WIPs made me really want to revive some of them owo (some I would have to completely re-write tho OTL)

[starchild--27]

85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake .  This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening  

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone 

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much 

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends 

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do. 

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long 

36. do you have a crush on someone -  if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.     

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD     

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.  

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus -  no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

[ofcloudsandstars]

✧ *.🐇Ostara Solitary Rituals🐇*✧

As fresh green sprouts spring from the earth and crocuses bloom, the Vernal Equinox is arriving! Melodic sounds of birds whistle in the air, buns emerge from their burrows, the earth is awake and life resumes again! It's time to celebrate the start of a new cycle and sow seeds of personal growth for the cycle to come! The symbolism of the beginning and child is strong with this sabbat for it's also the start of the Zodiac season where Aries the Ram charges into the new season ready to begin again!

A lot of us witches practice alone and have our own solitary rituals for each sabbat that we observe (or the ones we’ve created just for ourselves that we observe alone!) Like any solitary eclectic witch I do things my own different way but some of these things might line up with others practices. I do refer to some of the equinoxes/solstices/crossquarters by their celtic sabbat names but I celebrate them in a secular animist way and treat the wheel of the year I celebrate as more of an agrarian cycle and celebrating nature. I use sabbat names as a point of reference and also people that do celebrate these witches sabbats more traditionally might find value in my personal practice!  Here is my personal correspondences post and my personal Ostara tag!

 When I am alone and casting spells a lot of it is visualization/intent so my solitary rituals are more like activities I like to do then specifically casting a spell. If I am doing a spell with an activity based on it a lot would be listening to music to get in the mood and focusing on a candle while visualizing for a period of time! Eves are also important to my celebration as I like to stay up until midnight and cast a spell then!

Spring Equinox’s Eve

Monday, March 19th 2018

Rain Cleansing Rain water is a common magic ingredient in some witches spell and especially with the passing Pisces season and winter’s end bringing a lot of rain, often this time of year there is no shortage of rain water. Use some collected rain water in a spray bottle and spray the air and yourself visualizing the spring rains washing away what's left of winter. Open your window to let in fresh spring air and use the rainwater spray to energetically cleanse the space inside. Optional but you can add drops of eucalyptus fragrance or lily of the valley in it. (I prefer to have it plain since rain smells plain).

Spring Cleaning Clear the last of what you don’t want in your space. Dump old things you’ve been holding on to but don’t necessarily need. Refresh your home. Light incense like rain, green tea or sweet grass as you clean.

Eggshells Save eggshells and clean them out. Make a quiche for Ostara and save all the eggshells as much as possible. Try to make a small hole on one side (preferably the narrow side) to extract the yolk and clean the eggs to keep them handy. With cleaned eggshells you can:

Make eggshell candles You can assign each candle an aspect you’d want to grow or something positive you’d like to manifest by ‘hatching’ into your life such as: prosperity, new friends or new connections. Examples: 1 , 2

Make seed starters By sprouting some seeds in the eggshells you can cultivate herbs/plants you’d like to have for the year. Herbs for the kitchen are probably the easiest and once the plant exceeds the space of the shell, it can use the nutrients of the shell as food. It’s a personal tradition of mine where I enjoy repotting plants or planting things in general for Beltane so by Beltane the sprout would have grown large enough to be planted in it’s own pot or into the ground! Here’s a link on how to make seed eggshell starters.  

Spring themed snacks Enjoy some snacks while doing crafts such as pepita seeds, candy eggs, jelly beans, wasabi or snap peas, edamame, sour cream and onion chips and rice krispy treats or rice krispy bird nests if you want to be very festive lol.  

Decorate Cleanse and redecorate your altar and space with moss art, (they sell fake moss mats too at craft stores which make pretty centerpieces), egg candles, pussywillow, bulbs, crocus and sprouts. Use images of the march hare to invite energy of vitality, motivation and drive to inspire you to reach your goals for the upcoming cycle!

Egg Tree Create an ostara tree by getting a vase and collecting any branches you find on the ground. Thank the trees for their offerings. Decorate eggs with symbols or whatever has meaning to you and what you’d like to attract to your life and tie them to the branches. Here is a DIY.

Midnight:

Ostara is the ideal time to focus on what you’d like to grow in your life. Focus on what you’d like to nurture for the cycle to come. Prioritize things that will help you reach your goals. 

Hatching and Manifesting You can write spells on your saved eggshells symbolizing things you'd want to grow and plant seeds in them. A lot of green witches do magic by tending to sprouts and plants as a link to their manifesting spell to help bring it to life! If planting seeds is not an option then make an eggshell candle and light it while visualizing your intent.

Seeking a new direction Ostara is about life beginning again. If you feel like you need a fresh start, use a tarot deck and shuffle it a few times concentration on a new path. Once you are satisfied, look through it for the fool card. On the card next to it should be the direction you should go towards. If the fool is reversed and looking at the card behind it then it might symbolize you are on the wrong path and focused perhaps on something in your past. The one next to it (technically the one that comes after it in the deck) should be the direction you should focus on. 

Birds of a feather! Spring is definitely a time for finding your match whether it be new friends, new connections, new network or a new lover! People are more out and about. An animal that marks spring time to me and also socializing are spring birds especially like the robin or bluebirds. Use feathers in your spells to attract your kind or your mate. (March hare symbolism works too with attraction spells but in my opinion it’s way more sexual than it is about socializing or romance/friendship). Some ideas could be making a charm with a feather to keep on your person that you’ll use when you go out to meet people. The ideas for attraction glamours and spells are endless so I won’t ramble on here lol. 

 Ostara Day

March 20th 2018

Wear bright greens!! (it's funny cause it also kind of coincides with the green theme of march cause of st patricks day but I don't really celebrate st patrick yet I wear bright greens for spring equinox to symbolize plants sprouting and reviving!) If green isn't your thing wear pastels! A lot of my witchy friends and I LOVE the color Robin Egg Blue for Ostara so that soft blue is my second go to!

Food ‘Growth’ Spell You can prepare a ‘Dragon’s Egg’ bless it with the intent that you’d want it to give you power of determination, courage and drive for the season to come and eat it (like consuming it’s power). I like to make these eggs by hardboiling a regular egg, preparing a sandwich bag of food coloring of your choice (reddish gold is great), add some chili powder and peppers and put the egg in (still with it’s hardshell on) and crush it up while it’s in there. Let the egg soak in the coloring and spices and once you peel it it’ll look like this. If you don’t eat eggs, a great alternative are lima beans. They are big green seeds! I also like to use pepita seeds in a food spell to manifest self growth. You can take a seed and put intention into it then swallow it after.

Green Tea Such as the way pumpkin is the season-long flavor of autumn for me the seasonal flavor is green tea. I think it’s the combination of the color, it’s herbal earthy freshness and it’s ability to wake you up and energize you. Especially if you are on the go today and don’t have time for anything enjoy a matcha latte or a green tea. Savor it’s earthy flavor and feel it making you more awake and alert for the new season!  

Whistle to bring in good energy I find the sounds of light flutes and whistling to be the preferred music and or instrument of Ostara. To me it symbolizes the return of the birds and the lightness of spring and also the soft breeziness of the season (also in Wiccanism it's ruled by Air which is interesting). If you are familiar with intoning you can try to cleanse your space with a light and powerful whistle.   

Ostara Music I have a few music links on my digital grimoire for each sabbat and some playlists. Flutes is the primary instrument I associate with this sabbat. I like to pick one of the flute sound tracks and open one of the white noise sound tracks and let them play together.

I made a coherent music post here with instructions on how I listen to the music. (I like to layer sounds ontop of each other- usually a natural white noise soundtrack- in this case singing birds for Spring, and then play instrumental music over it).

Connecting with your inner child Ostara is a playful holiday that also honors children. Be extra kind to children close to you today and also get in touch with your own inner child. Make art to welcome spring like watercolor outside or use crayons and don't judge whatever you create. Or treat yourself with things your childself loves such as candy, cookies, blowing bubbles, swinging on swings, jumping on a trampoline. If it's raining or too cold to be outside make a magical pillow fort to do magic in. Make a cream soda float, watch ghibli films. Do shadow work to connect with your inner child. Focus on this next cycle to come by satisfying your inner child's dreams.

Be Outdoors If the day is nice take yourself out for a bike ride or a picnic! Go on an ostara scavenger hunt for magical items for your craft such as a stone you might find and like that you could paint or a four leaf clover, a fresh bird’s feather or a blossom. Remember to ask the plants permission before you take and to leave offerings for gratitude. Seeds edible to animals or local wildflower seeds would be the nicest! 

Spring Showers Usually spring equinox has been gorgeous for the past few years but if the day is rainy collect the first spring's showers! It has it’s own magical significance! Spring Showers brings growth for spring blossoms and plants and it is very reviving. If it happens to snow, spring's first snow/frost is magical too but for curses.

Flower Channeling It’s been way too cold for a while to be outside but if it’s nice take yourself to a park or your back yard, find a patch of crocuses or snowdrops and spend a moment to be barefoot on the earth. Feel their gentle energy pushing through the earth to start with fresh optimism. Find that energy within yourself to begin this new cycle.

Rain Channeling If the weather is too unfavorable to do that then find a space in your home by a window and take a moment to channel the energy of Spring’s Shower to your body. You can either put your back against the window if possible or even open the window and let your palms out upright to capture the rain. (Bonus if you want to be that dramatic witch bitch and stand under the rain to really let it cleanse you but I don’t want to give advice that might get people sick if they aren’t careful lol.)

 Evening

Feast!! I love making food for Ostara! I always go for spring produce like onions, chives, spinach, butter lettuce, asparagus, carrots, parsnips, peas, sugar snap peas, sprouts and turnips. If I’m making food for myself I go for a nice quiche with a butter lettuce salad and simple dijon vinaigrette. Some dishes I love making are like the cucumber dill yogurt salad, split pea soup, chicken with spring onions and pastel colored deviled eggs. Even if you don’t feel motivated to make anything too complicated for yourself you can make something easily spring themed like ostara ramen lol. [Get a ramen packet and boil and egg in another pot. Top your finished ramen with chopped chives and sesame seeds and a boiled egg. Bam. (Bonus if its green tea ramen noodles).] For desserts I love things that are matcha, praline, pistachio or almond based. I love floral nutty flavors for spring. Getting a simple carrot cake to enjoy should be easy or you could enjoy a simple custard! Years ago I made an Ostara fantasy feast you can check out if you’d like some ideas!

Leave offerings for the Spirits of Spring! 

Spring Birds are also always wonderful to work with and fun to leave offerings of food like seeds for! They will help you with socializing and making connections!

It’s always lucky to befriend some stirring plants and leave them something as well. Especially if you whisper to them your secret wishes they’ll try to help them grow! 

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife.  Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes:  GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?