#feels diff coming from a female director...

[metabolizemotions]

It was such a wonderful surprise that Marina was actually the focus of the cliffhanger of the penultimate episode of the entire series. They have been one of the main and most important emotional cores of the show. It was so bittersweet & disheartening to finally have that for a w|w we've fought for, for so long, only for it to be taken away far too soon.

…the world… is on fire… we can be together while the world is burning…

… the world is changing right now as we’re standing here, the world is changing and it’s beautiful… now what I know is that I want to be in this beautiful mess of a changing world with you… I loved the 360 tracking shot of the proposal scene. It was a grand, dramatic effect, like their world was spinning out of control.

On a bigger scale, the 709 ending sequence was the ultimate climax of the arc of their relationship - a revolving juxtaposition of their biggest dream & deepest fear realizing at the same time. With Helm, a younger queer woman who looked up to Marina, yet again witnessing another of their important milestones, with Carina. While Maya was with Andy, her best and oldest friend & teammate. They've walked in and out of so many fires - literal or otherwise - together. They just talked about how far they've come and where they were heading next.

I love how the writing, directing and editing of this episode worked together to create something larger than the sum of its parts. Like 704, but bigger. Both episodes had great visual storytelling too. Even before the climatic scene, the arc shots around & the blocking of Maya or Carina spoke volumes.

They were either thinking of or looking for each other. Their expressions and tones conveyed the fears & hopes not entirely revealed by their words. The foreshadowing.

The love scene also centered them - their desires and pleasure. I could also see this scene doubling as a trigger shot scene.... where Carina helps Maya with the shot, kisses it all better then takes it further... Carina is an expert on orgasm for pain relief after all 😏

[mikeshanlon]

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

[logicalstansadvice]

For the past year I have dreams about Sebastian having a younger brother, who resembles him physically, but only remotely, like the jaw and mouth slightly and that is it. And the dreams are weird as fuck. Most have to do with his brother trying to take over the world as sort of an evil emperor and me being involved in his plans, sometimes willingly, sometimes forced. They are super weird and I felt the need to share here since I recently got tumblr and found this blog and you all seem to be nice and talk about various subjects.

What do you think the dreams mean? And why aren't they stopping I wonder? I have them about twice a week for almost a year now.

In my dreams his brother doesn't even look like Seb, so I don't understand why I made this persona up in my subconscious. He's like taller than him and diff body construction, has brown eyes and brown curly hair. I'm not even attracted to him. And I just know he is Seb's brother every time. So why would my subconscious make up this non existent brother of his, if he doesn't actually look like the person I desire - Seb? And Seb never appeared in any of these dreams. So that is why it is so strange to me. Plus, I don't think he even has a brother, I never saw him post anything about siblings. What do you guys think?

From our resident astrologer & dream interpreter, HiDrama:

Anon - What’s wrong with brown eyes and curly hair, yo? *Bats Falselashes* Not sure you're being serious or not. But I’ll play - and TRY to be brief as I can 😂

Significant things:

Emperor = Male Energy, teacher/ruler/family member

YOUNGER brother = Male energy again. Not a sister or parent etc. And Younger, Seb would be the guide/wiser person

Mouth/Jaw area= Communication

Persona= Various masks we wear

(sidenote: Male and female symbolism is not a judgement on sexual orientation or preferred gender roles.)

FIRST: Ask yourself how you feel about the people/elements in the dream? How do you feel about Seb, brothers, Emperors, the Setting, etc. and be honest with yourself.

Like the Ole Boy in the Emperor’s New Clothes story - Emperors get their way and no one opposes them. No one dared to say he was actually naked because he had the power: If this was a one-time dream I would say: Maybe there is something about Seb you dislike/side-eying him about? And you have not resolved that with what you do find attractive about him? That he’s wearing a persona: not showing his real self?

Mouth/Jaw would symbolize it may have to do with his communication: Something you wish he had not said OR Something you wish he would say. Or you question his communication skills (interview/social media, etc.) overall. Maybe you consider it childish? There’s this little brother tyrant you are dealing with and he’s not helping! Seb come get’cha lil bro, bruh!

But this is a reoccurring dream: Something ongoing or unresolved. 2x a week for almost a year??!! Your Sub-C is persistently DMing you and you ghosting ‘em. Deal with it and they may stop. They need closure.

2: My personal fav Dream analyzing method: See your dreams as a Movie. A movie you (you & your sub-c) created. Realize you are the writer, director, producer, star, etc. You are a triple-threat, going for Oscar gold.

The Sub-C collects things as you go through your days and files things away (think of that “What’s my Name”/Fancy Restaurant episode from Spongebob!!). Things you are not aware of, or haven’t examined. All is filed away and make-up your nighttime Screenplay.

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️: Do you know a taskmaster person in your life? Someone selfish or unforgiving? Are you not feeling fully in control of the situation? One where you’re not even getting the benefits out of it? Do you need more empathy and grace?

Seb not appearing is very interesting. There’s a poor simile in his place getting on your last nerve. Seb in Real Life is attractive to you, giving you happy feelings. He is a relief from the normal boring/stressful day to day stuff. Him not appearing is like a lack of relief from the unwelcome situation. You may have to face whatever it is. Allegedly. Hope this helps (and not in the passive aggressive business-email language folks use at work!!)

[your-dietician]

Is Germany nailing diverse and inclusive entertainment? | Film | DW

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/entertainment/is-germany-nailing-diverse-and-inclusive-entertainment-film-dw/

Is Germany nailing diverse and inclusive entertainment? | Film | DW

“Why kiss a frog when you could kiss a princess,” goes the tagline for “Princess Charming,” the self-proclaimed first lesbian reality dating show in the world that is being aired on the German streaming platform TVNOW. Modeled after The Bachelor, the show has several lesbian women vying for the affections of one woman. And for gay men, there’s the show Take Me Out: Boys, Boys, Boys to the same effect.

And then we also have the Heidi Klum-produced-and-hosted show Germany’s Next Topmodel 2021, which features trans model Alex Mariah Peter as its latest winner and Druck, a YouTube series on teenagers in Berlin that aims to represent different ethnic groups in the German capital. It would appear that German TV reflects the kind of pluralism that the country is known for around the world.

Even in the less agile world of cinema, there’s been a steady trend toward greater representation: In recent years, films like Türkisch für Anfänger (2012) — which was spun off from a TV series — and Fack ju Göhte (2013) have also tried to reflect Germany’s changing social structures. But is all this enough?

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

The winner: Alex

Alex Mariah Peter from Cologne became the first transgender person in the history of the show to win the competition. “Being different is much more normal than we admit to ourselves,” said the 23-year-old, who barely broached the subject of inclusion throughout the season. Speaking about future plans following the victory, the winner said, “First of all, I’m going to get a schnitzel to eat.”

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

A gender-sensitive avatar

“Inclusion” is now a global catchphrase, and the show also brought it into focus by adding a ‘*’ to its logo — a symbol for diffuse gender roles. Women who were previously marginalized or left out because they were different could now present themselves on GNTM. Refugees, curvy women and transgenders — all got a chance under the spotlight.

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Curvy is beautiful

Ukrainian-born Dascha has been living in Germany since she was five and says she was bullied for most of her life. That’s why she didn’t just want to win but also make an important statement: “I want to be an ideal and support people who are bullied.” The confident 21-year-old weighs 85 kilos (187 pounds).

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Living the dream

In 2015, Soulin and her family fled Syria and arrived in Germany via Turkey. The 20-year-old was all teary-eyed while modeling for a jeans brand: “I am the girl who could not achieve her dreams. Now I’m here and living my dream.” Soulin is now a model and made it to third place on GNTM.

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Small is beautiful

At 1.68 meters (5 ft. 6.1 inches), Romina is hardly someone you would call “short,” but aspirants for GNTM need to be at least 1.76 meters tall. Romina had a very natural look for the show but earlier, she copied stars like Kylie Jenner and even got botox injected into her lips. Now she wants to support young girls who blindly follow social media trends.

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Beauty beyond skin color

Sara Nuru’s parents immigrated from Ethiopia, and she says she was the first Black baby to be born at a hospital in the town of Erding in Bavaria. She was also the first Black model to win GNTM in 2009. Nuru has gone places since then and is now involved with developmental projects in her parents’ home country.

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Heidi Klum’s ‘circus for models?’

“Germany’s Next Top Model – by Heidi Klum” has been on air since 2006 with the supermodel as its host. For decades, its catwalks only displayed mostly white, slim and tall women with long legs. Transgenders, small-sized women or those with curves had no chance of walking on the ramp.

Transgender person wins ‘Germany’s Next Topmodel’

Physical beauty is skin-deep

Heidi Klum and GNTM boast loyal fans among many Germans, especially young girls, who idolize the show and its models. But critics say that teenage girls often copy anorexic models on GNTM, which sends out the message that beauty is more important than education. This year as well, feminists protested the sexualization of female bodies on the show.

Author: Suzanne Cords

German popular culture seems to be getting more inclusive, at least when it comes to acknowledging the presence and existence of LGBTQ individuals and of people from different ethnic backgrounds. But until now, television and entertainment in general have primarily stuck to stereotypes when portraying such minorities.

And there has been little public discussion on the various dimensions pertaining to diversity that issues like inclusion in society and — by consequence — the representation of minorities in television and entertainment generally should entail.

Too Turkish to be German?

“You can see that homosexuals, transsexuals and others are indeed represented in German television. Germany is much more liberal than other countries,” says actor Dean Baykan, who was born in Germany to Turkish parents. Compared to Germany, other European countries like Hungary, for example, have been very strict in their punitive attitude towards homosexuality, with a recently tabled law there practically outlawing the public representation of lifestyles that don’t fall in line with so-called traditional family values.

“But while Germany is open in some ways, in other ways it’s actually more conservative,” Baykan continues. “For example, foreigners or those with a foreign background are not taken seriously in feature films or in serious acting projects.”

Actor Dean Baykan has missed out on many ‘meaty’ roles

Baykan himself explains how he once almost scored a major role in a popular crime series on a German TV channel — but only almost. “I made it to the final round,” he said, adding that he feels that his Turkish background may have been the reason for producers deciding against him — despite the fact that he has a western first name. Whether his ethnic background was a dealbreaker or not may never be known, but actors like Baykan feel that they are not being considered for certain roles not because of an apparent lack of  talent but rather because casting directors prefer when they are reduced to representing stereotypes.

‘Drug dealers, criminals and weaklings’

Filmmaker Deiu Hao Do agrees with that sort of assessment. The son of Chinese minority immigrants from Vietnam is part of the project Vielfalt im Film (diversity in film), and represents the Berlin Asian Film Network (BAFNET).

“You have Black people selling drugs, Muslims being cast as criminals, Asian women playing weak characters … But there is much more complexity to these ethnic groups, and these also need to be represented,” he told DW.

In a recent survey conducted by Vielfalt im Film, 5,500 participants said they found that such clichés were being perpetuated by the industry. Nearly 88% said that Arabs were usually represented in stereotypical ways on German television. The number was nearly 83% for Muslims in general, nearly 75% for Asians and 56% for Jews, as anti-Semitism is on the rise across many parts of Europe once more.

Born this way

German-Nigerian actor Sheri Hagen

Furthermore, 13% said they had faced bias because of their body shape and weight, while 10% of the participants said they had experienced discrimination because of their sexual identity. The study also mentioned homosexual participants saying that they had tried to hide their sexual orientation in order to improve their chances of finding work or obtaining a certain role in a film or show.

Earlier this year, 185 actors in Germany publicly announced in a newspaper article that they identified as “different” and that it was time for them to publicly acknowledge that they were gay, bisexual, lesbian, queer, non-binary and transsexual. They all demanded more visibility and representation in the German entertainment industry, having been pushed into hiding, ignoring or glossing over their identities.

Indeed, broadcasters themselves have been rather reluctant about addressing their actors’ sexual identities directly, even reflecting a sense of denial in some instances. German actress Ulrike Folkerts, for example, is a lesbian in real life but plays a heterosexual police officer in the crime series Tatort.

In a recent interview with the Süddeutsche Zeitung, she said that she had only recently been asked by the producers of the show — i.e. the regional public broadcaster SWR — to finally reveal her sexual orientation publicly. She refused, saying it was too late to do so.

185 actors revealed their sexual identites in the Süddeutsche Zeitung

Diversity = complexity?

Actor Sheri Hagen says that the concept of diversity is not just limited to having LGBTQ stars and the token person with a non-German background being featured in a show. The Lagos-born actor moved to Germany in the early 1990s. She identifies as being a German with Nigerian roots.

Hagen has acted in films like the Oscar-winning Das Leben der Anderen or the previously mentioned television crime series Tatort, and often speaks about the importance of greater inclusion in the German entertainment industry.

“Diversity for me is not just about skin color or gender, which is what the dominant thinking in the German film industry, is” she says, adding that diversity also “includes disabilities, sexual identity, weight-based discrimination, east-west discrimination — especially here in Germany — class-based differences, ethnic differences, cultural differences, skin color and more.”

Filmmaker Deiu Hao Do agrees that in this context, it is important to understand how these various dimensions of diversity and the related aspects of potential discrimination interact with each other. Fighting this sort of exclusion is central to promoting the cause of diversity, he stressed.

Deiu Hao Do: campaigning for inclusion

A sore lack of perspective

Streaming platforms have created alternative ways for filmmakers from around the world to showcase their work and reach new audiences. And while content from some parts of the world has certainly capitalized on this potential, these new opportunities haven’t translated into creating a greater amount of diverse streaming content coming from Germany.

Hagen says that Germany can learn a lot from best practices of inclusion currently employed  in the British film industry, where shows like Bridgerton and a recent limited series on the life of Anne Boleyn, second wife of King Henry VIII, have used colorblind casting as a means to promote diversity even in period dramas.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Tsitsi Dangarembga

Dangarembga is not only a filmmaker but also successfully writes novels and screenplays, including for the film 1993 “Neria” that went on to become the most-watched film in Zimbabwe. In 2020, Dangarembga was arrested in Harare at a protest against government corruption and still faces trial a year later.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Wanuri Kahiu

Born in Nairobi in 1980, the director had a global cinema success with her 2018 film “Rafiki.” The first Kenyan film shown at the Cannes Film Festival, it portrays a love affair between two young Kenyan women and was banned in her home country. Kahui is now off to Hollywood, where she will direct “The Thing about Jellyfish,” based on the acclaimed novel by Ali Benjamin.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Kemi Adetiba

The Nigerian filmmaker, who also makes television series and music videos, is a big name in Nollywood — which is what people call Nigerian cinema, the second most productive in the world after Indian film. Commercially, Adetiba’s feature films are hugely successful. She is producing her next film, a sequel to her blockbuster “King of Boys,” exclusively for Netflix.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Kunle Afolayan

The Nigerian director is one of the most important representatives of the new Nigerian cinema (“New Nollywood”), which is characterized by narrative complexity, a new aesthetic — and a much bigger budget. Afolayan’s thriller “The Figurine — Araromire” (2009), one of Nigeria’s most commercially successful films, is considered to have launched the movement.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Abderrahmane Sissako

Sissako’s films deal with topics including globalization, terrorism and exile. Born in Mauritania and raised in Mali, the film director and producer is considered one of the best-known filmmakers from sub-Saharan Africa. His 2014 film “Timbuktu” was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars and won several prizes at France’s Cesar Awards as well as at the Cannes Film Festival.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Philippe Lacote

The film director from the Ivory Coast most recently premiered “La Nuit des Roies” (2020) at the Venice International Film Festival. The film, reminiscent of the stories from the “One Thousand and One Nights” Arabian folk takes, tells the story of convicted criminal named Zama who becomes a convincing storyteller in order to survive at La Maca prison in the Ivory Coast capital, Abidjan.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Macherie Ekwa Bahango

Promising new talent: The 27-year-old director from the Democratic Republic of Congo saw her film “Maki’La” debut at the 2018 Berlin Film Festival. The young self-taught director spent three years working on her first feature film, which is the story of a group of street children in Kinshasa. The film won top prize at the Ecrans Noirs African film festival in Cameroon.

Contemporary African filmmakers: Names to remember

Moussa Toure

Moussa Toure is a Senegalese film director, producer and screenwriter and has long been a major figure in African cinema. His feature films and documentaries are often political. Toure describes his 2012 film “La Pirogue,” which tells the story of refugees’ journey by boat from Africa to Europe, as a “slap in the face of the Senegalese government.”

Author: Maria John Sánchez

Sheri Hagen says that diversity is indeed not about the token actor of color in a television series but rather about a more holistic approach. The recently aired German TV-series Breaking Even, which stars Ugandan-German actor Lorna Ishema in the main role, is a case-in-point for her. Hagen says that diversity is also about who’s writing the story, how these stories are communicated and who executes these ideas on camera.

As of today, she adds, the boards of most German media broadcasters are still “male and white” — and her assessment is, de facto, not wrong. Dieu Hao Do agrees that in order “to acknowledge the multiple perspectives in storytelling,” the German television and film industry needs more diversity, “and this is something we don’t have at the moment.”

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[dinoalexander]

The Semi-Quotable 2017, Part 3

... again, Thank you Tumblr... very nearly almost done.

——

"So, using the Monty Hall theorem in current event terms, behind 1 door is Kendrick Lamar, and behind the other 2 doors is Lamar Odom." -Gordon

"I hate to say I told you so, but I don't really." -Amanda

“PLATE TACO!” -Festivus party

"A favor owed is better than money in the bank." -Steve

“STRIKING A NOSE.” -Actual Wheel guess

"A Hemi is not a license to drive like you don't have any sense!" -C

“You’re going to lift this with good form because I don’t want you sitting there with a sore back while you’re face-fucking a pumpkin pie on Thursday.” -... somebody at Shannon’s gym

“I can’t spell today...” -C

“T-O-D-A-Y.” -C’s boss

“It flows like diarrhea.” -Jordan

"No picture, no puss." -drunk Asian gambler

"I traveled 3000 miles to yell numbers at strangers." -TPIR shirt

“What state’s nickname is the Badger State?” -Michael

“My nether regions.” -Christina

“... Between waxings.” -Q

“Personally...I’m a smizer. It lets my soul express it’s happiness without all that pesky wrinkling.” -Jen

“I don’t mean duck! I NEVER MEAN DUCK!” -Q

"Sorry we couldn't get Brad Rutter." -Sara

"An-taaaaaawn Jamison!" -Michelle

“Parents who have massages have children who have massages.” -Q

"GODDAMNIT, PAUL!" -C. It should be noted that no one named Paul was in the vicinity

"I feel like I'm on cocaine, I have so many ideas right now." -Amanda

“Susie, you're going to pay for my hip replacement if you knock me over again!!” -Jules (Dana’s daughter)

“You need to settle down and put your clothes back on.” -Q

“I’ve heard THAT one before.” -Jordan

“Love my beautiful comical sweet babies!!!” -... some girl

“That's my new go-to insult, ya jacknog.” -Tony

“HQ app needs to monitor their fiber intake for a while, because their shit's not together this week.” -Adam

“Pumpkin pie is mah BITCH!” -Laura

"Don't overthink it. It's trivia, not your oral defense." -Michael

“Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.” -Q

"It's like getting C. Diff of the mouth!" -Christina

"Gracefully disconnected." -Cat

“I had fun once. It was awful.” -Grumpy Carter (Molly’s son in a Grumpy Cat mask)

“If you don’t have PMT, you don’t have anything.” -I meant to say “PMA”

"Because this is what you do when you're 37. Dress up like Barbarella and Storm Troopers... and act like idiots on stage covered in glitter." -Shannon

"Molly, ok this is where I bow out of this thread. We all know how flexible you are. Duh." -Jenni Leigh

"Oh fuck me in the ass with a sandpaper lube." -Q

Gordon: "One, two, three..."

C/Joe/Jason: "SORRY, GORDON!"

"That came from the colon." -Steven

"PBS, 1994! I used to watch that all the time; I'm STILL looking for that bitch!" -Tiffany Haddish. The question: "Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?"

“🎶 Spinarak, Spinarak, does whatever a Spinarak does... 🎶” -C & Jordan

"What's the ICD-10 code for demon possession?" -Q

“While working in TV news I was told by management I was a fat loser who should just be grateful anybody put me on camera. I once had to do an extra long traffic and weather break because the female anchor was boning the news director in the building’s gym (they were both married to other people). When all but two traffic cameras went out and I had to use them a lot in a six-hour show, I got screamed at for not using different cameras and when I pointed out there WERE no other cameras, I was screamed at again that they didn’t want to hear any excuses. I’m not saying any of this to justify shitty behavior, I’m saying TV news is a flaming hellhole of a business and most of the people in it are rotten assholes who wouldn’t be welcome in an opium den.” -Drew Harmon

"I beat Gordon, I get his property, and I claim prima nocta on his wife." -C

James: "I'm not that type of guy."

Cindy: "LIES!"

"I need something that will keep me awake and alert and fresh like a daisy. And unlike you, David Muir's come-hither stare isn't going to do it for me!" -C

"... oh shit, is it 6:30?" -Q

"Welcome to the Gordon Pepper Experience." -Gordon

“Maybe your apple crisp is trying to tell you something.” -Angela

“I don’t pay it to tell me anything! It knew what this was.” -C

"Asking me to create the state of the art Jquery menu widget for version 3.2.1 when you have version 1.10 is the equivalent of you telling me to create a program to help steer the best lawn mower of the world capable of shearing acres of land a day and you giving me a goat." -Gordon

“Sarcasm drips from your tongue like drool from a baby’s mouth.” -Ellen

“The sea is emotion incarnate. It loves, hates, and weeps. It defies all attempts to capture it with words and rejects all shackles. No matter what you say about it, there is always that which you can't.” -Christina

"Hey Colorado Board Shorts! Can you please close your legs? We can all see your Denver Nuggets." -C

"Trump's so classy, even his showers are golden." -Jessica

“UNC is going down quicker than Blair St. Clair on a Breathalizer.” -G

"(Jon Snow) is the heir to the Iron Throne... AND THEY'RE BACK TO FUCKING." -C, on "The Dragon and the Wolf"

"Where are the TRASH people?" -Mike

"Karnowski! HE FAT!" -C, on Gonzaga's big man

"Kill it. Kill it dead." -Jordan

"I'm confused. Facebook is stupid." -Cindy

"My opinion, and you can quotewall me on this, is the following: Everyone should be treated equal, which means that the minority should never be empowered to think they are above the majority. Equal? Yes. But not greater than." -G

"How I know I'm getting old: my Facebook wall has, over time, turned from petty angry status updates to woke angry status updates, and babies." -Mama Shrub

"You didn't see the movie. You don't get to make the joke." -me, on "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"

"I try to remember things could be worse. I could have been born a Siamese twin about to go on a date with my gay brother....while sharing only one butt." -Leslie

"Imagine Quisla's mind is like a presidential strip club. The sign outside says "43 beautiful men and one ugly one."" -C

“... Still waiting for that cosmo.... Jordan.” -Q

"Asking Trump to denounce white supremacists is like asking a rose bush to denounce Miracle Grow." -Clint

"Sometimes the one way to respect the power of fire is to get burned." -C

"That's so deep Adele is rolling in it." - Jordan

"The only thing I've accomplished today is using my boobs to make a waterfall in the shower." -Leslie

“Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. It gets everywhere and you can’t get rid of it.” -Q

"We don't ask about the boxers." -C

"SPF 100... for Pasty White Ninja." -Jason

"Aren't you tired of all these bad hair days?" -Cat

"Lady, I haven't had a bad hair day since 1993!" -C

"What the rass happen ta Tiger? 'im all gon' in an' rass up, look like some criminal!" -Q

"Trump is a traitor, Bannon wants to launch the Crusades, Conway is slowly evolving into her final witch form, Spicer is about two days away from spontaneously reenacting the head-explosion scene in SCANNERS, Miller is the psychic projection of every asshole you hated in high school, and Pence calls his wife "Mother" *jazz fingers* The Aristocrats." -Jennifer

"Will whoever left their tequila shot with a lime wedge on our table please come by and retrieve their lime wedge and their shot glass?" -C

"¡Mierdoso!" -Q & Lenora

"That tastes like Tussin." -Tohry

"I'LL BE GOD DAMNED. THERE IS AN ICD-10 CODE FOR DEMON POSSESSION!" -C

"You talk about taking your pants off, and then I have to Skype you." -Jason before WLTI

"You're gonna end up touching someone inappropriately." -Q

TO BE CONCLUDED... eventually.

[classyharmonypainter-blog]

2011 Death Examination And Robert Wagner, Christopher Walken Response

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