#feeling: ​emotionally pulverized

[exceptmyserotonin]

me when fall out boyyyyy 😭😭😭😭

[silverryuan]

Gun Park with Amane Ubuyashiki reader, ft. Daniel Park (Part 1)

There are two ways that Gun can meet you. Either as a Himorogi or an Ubuyashiki.

• If you are a Himorogi, then you are still a student of religious studies in Shintoism. Your grades are so high and perfect that you became the class president of the Religious Studies Department (founded by yours truly). You are also very intelligent that you can rival student prodigies in the Science and Mathematics Department.

• Your beauty is also an aspect of what you are known for in Jaewon High , the large amount of admirers that worship your graceful and elegant aura is astonishing to the point where students thought you should've been in the Beauty and Cosmetics Department. A lot of women are jealous of you because of the same reason and some even threatened you, but you remained calm and expressionless. That lifeless look in your eyes intimidated many people but also made them feel drawn to your mysterious personality.

• You befriended Daniel after hearing him from Kagaya's crow. It told news about it witnessing one of the Ubuyashiki rivals, Charles Choi's daughter and bodyguard stepping into the school grounds. You immediately got up from your library study and head straight to the school festival.

• You made sure to keep distance from the pretty woman and black-eyed man to spy on them. Not even one hour and Gun is already starting a fight... Well, it's actually not him that started the fight, it's that Daniel Park boy who insisted on talking to the girl but the bodyguard prevented him from doing so.

• Luckily, Vasco interrupted before Gun can pulverize Daniel some more. The fight was broken off by Crystal and the two outsiders left the campus. You stepped out of the shadows and joined the injured two, offering them first aid. Vasco insisted that he doesn't need your help but was influenced by your persistent demeanor and let you treat his nose. You politely bowed to introduce yourself to the boys and looked at Daniel for permission to treat his bruise. The flustered handsome man nodded his head in a yes gesture. After that encounter, the rest of you enjoyed the music festival.

• Time flies by and your relationship with your peers improved. You managed to befriend Zoe, Mira, Zack, Vasco, Jace, and even Jay. But at the same time, you were emotionally distant and interacted with everyone only at arm's length. Your quiet behavior and creepy eyes unnerved them a bit.

• Daniel is starting to question you why you became more involved in his life and you answered,

Amane! Reader: "I saw the way you fought that man... If Gun sees potential in you to be his successor, then we'll all be doomed."

Daniel: "...C-Come again...?"

• You explained to Daniel that if Gun were to recruit him, he will train Daniel the ways of a merciless and ruthless fighter and if he succeeds his training through further recruitment from the higher ups, he will be tasked by Charles Choi to destroy the Ubuyashiki family and the Himorogi family as well as the connections that are tied to the two clans.

• Your family may be representatives of several Shinto shrines but even they have some connections with the Ubuyashiki clan, who own a corporation of highly trained fighters targeting gangs and other illegal unions. The corporation is large enough to reach from Japan to South Korea and their most powerful fighters guard and control districts undercover. These top fighters are called Hashiras and each one of them have a reason for joining the corporation as well as a reason to fight. Their fighters are known for having constant conflict with an organization called The Twelve Kizuki.

• Unfortunately, Gun Park, one of the top fighters from one of the corporation's rivals, is eliminating the fighters one by one, causing a major problem for the corporation. You plan on recruiting Daniel and train him to defeat Gun, even telling Daniel that the corporation offers rewards and incentives if he joins you but it still his choice to make whether he wants to work with you or not.

• Weeks passed, due to the increasing homework and performance tasks dumped handed by the teachers, your friends are too worried about the deadline and forgot about that incident. You, on the other hand, counted each day after that. Who knows when Choi will strike?

• One day, you decided to ask Daniel for his final answer and walked home with him. However the moment is ruined when an expensive looking sports car suddenly parked in front of you. The driver of the car came out and look who it is... Gun Park himself.

• Daniel became alert but you remained calm. You can tell by Daniel's stance that he's ready to throw hands. Gun ignored the sudden defensiveness and then asked the boy if he's reconsidered his offer. Outwardly, you are unfazed by the interaction but internally, you are surprised at the hint that Daniel may or may not have told you about Gun's offer. Gun walked closer to you two and stared at Daniel for any indication of the boy changing his mind but you stepped in front of Daniel.

Amane! Reader: "Excuse me for interrupting, but we have somewhere urgent we need to go."

• He made eye contact with you and leaned closer, his height intimidated many but you stood your ground. An awkward silence fills the tense atmosphere as you and the tall man engage in a silent glaring contest. It felt like the abyss is glaring back at the void.

Gun: "Hey. Move."

Amane! Reader: "... I'm sorry but I won't."

• Well, this looks like it'll be difficult to shake him off. He's the first to cut the glaring when he turns his piercing gaze at Daniel. He walked past you and placed his hand on Daniel's shoulder, he brings his mouth close to his ear and whispered...

Gun: "Listen here... if you want to train your body to its fullest potential and master techniques to an extent, then accept my offer, yeah?"

Daniel: "........."

• Gun drew his hand back to his pocket and smirked. Daniel didn't respond and just looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

• Don't tell me... He's actually thinking of...?

• A blur flashed by your eyes as Gun almost kicked you in the side of your head but his leg stopped mid-air. The black-eyed man is actually impressed that you didn't flinch. Daniel was about to intervene your little confrontation but stopped after you held your hand up as if to signal a stop sign to him.

• You look at Gun, no fear evident in your eyes. It's almost as if you're mocking him...

Amane! Reader: "Is that all?"

Gun: "....Yes."

• The man didn't say anything further and went back to his car but not without reminding Daniel of the offer's deadline and then drove off.

• You and Daniel continued to walk home. He wanted to apologize but you gave him a final warning to never accept Gun's offer and left.

• You grew more worried about Daniel as he makes his way to one of the top fighters in school, making enemies left and right. But he also gained allies. Like you, for example, you keep reporting to Ubuyashiki as to protect Daniel from the eyes of other organizations. However, Gun was getting impatient.

• Gun was called in by Charles Choi for a new task. He gave him an assignment that requires him to bribe someone and if they decline, he must kill them. An typical assignment that bores him to the point where he thinks that Goo was more suited for the job. But all it took was one glance at your file and he became interested. Charles noted Gun's eyes filled with recognition upon scanning through your profile and assumed he was at least familiar with you.

• He kept the file and walked out of the office, he'll read more of it in his car. No wonder you're so protective of Daniel Park. You had an ulterior motive for keeping that guy away from him.

• The bell rings and you go outside of the entrance gate to wait for Daniel, in hopes of hearing his decision. Your wait was interrupted by car rolling its window down which revealed Gun Park as the driver. Your body froze. This is bad. Daniel hasn't exited his classroom. And you're certain that this man is MUCH more powerful than you in terms of strength.

• The man got out of his car and begin slowly approach you. Every painfully slow step he takes towards you feels like you're facing a demon... He stops and just stares at you. Despite the difference between your intimidation tactics, you're not backing down. Another glare-down with hidden conflict was engaged. Both of you neither talked, just glared. The only sound there is are the loudly chatting students exiting from the school's entrance.

• After a long while, Daniel still hasn't arrived, and the loudness of the students become muffled until they've gone their way home. The silence was no longer on your side anymore, it's making you uncomfortable enough to speak first...

Amane! Reader: "... Pardon me, may I ask for what motive do you have to come all the way here?"

Gun: "...I'm not gonna waste both of our time... I have a proposition for you."

Amane! Reader: "... A proposition?"

Gun: "Yeah... It's simple. If you leave Daniel Park, you live. If you won't, you die. Deal?"

Amane! Reader: "And what makes you think I'll accept this one-sided offer?"

Gun: "Does the name Charles Choi sound familiar?"

Amane! Reader: "..............."

Gun: "He wants you to work for him. For you to leave the Ubuyashiki corp. You get paid and other benefits."

Amane! Reader: "......How do you..."

Gun: "Read your profile. From the looks of it, you're more than just the Ubuyashiki head's right hand. You're also the head of the Himorogi family's Shinto shrines. I commend you... Not everyone is talented at hiding their identity for so long... Not even from that brat... So, what do you say?"

Amane! Reader: "I am not easily swayed by mere threats and bribes. If you don't have anything else to say, then have a good evening."

• You tried to walk away to get Daniel but a hand grabbed your shoulder and pinned you to the wall. The impact of your back to the cement was strong enough to put cracks on the wall. Gun's gripping hand digs into your skin, you're pretty sure that your bone cracked as well. It was so painful that you wanted to scream help but you know that he'll drag you and kill you. You have no choice but to endure the pain. Just for a bit.

• Gun's piercing jet black eyes glared down at you filled with bloodlust, urging you to give up and surrender. But you still didn't squirm, no trace of pain was evident on your face, not even a wince. You glared back at him...

Gun: "........This is your last warning....."

Amane! Reader: "..........I....Humbly...... Decline....."

• ... Until he let go. He draws his hand back as if he merely squashed a bug. There's hint of irritation on his face. He doesn't understand how a weakling with no fighter's will or experience in fighting stand their ground against him. But for some reason he felt... intimidated?

• For now, he'll let you go.

Amane! Reader: "....... Daniel is a good person..... He'll fight if he needs to..."

Gun: ".... We'll see about that."

"AMANE! READER!!"

• Ah, speaking of Daniel, here he comes now. He ran toward you and stood in front of you, shielding you away from Gun. Daniel held his arms up and shouted at Gun.

Daniel: "What do you want from them?! If you want to fight, then fight me! Don't involve them!"

Gun: "No, they are very much involved."

Amane! Reader: "Daniel, I'm fine. Please don't fight."

Daniel: "W-what? But he..."

Amane! Reader: "I'm sure Gun was just in the middle of leaving.

Gun: "......Yeah. I'm not in the mood right now... I'm leaving."

Daniel: "H-huh...?"

• Well that was unexpected... Usually Gun is constantly in fight mode. He's leaving without a fight from Daniel? The man practically can't survive a day without a fight. But today he withdraws. Daniel put his arms down and just looked dumbfounded. He has lots of questions for you.

• Gun opened the door to his car, he was about to climb in but he looked at you...

Gun: "Hey... Himorogi."

Amane! Reader: "...?"

Gun: "Whatever the hell's wrong with you, I like your boldness. That deal is offered once so expect to be hunted down."

Amane! Reader: "... I'm aware."

• With that, he drove off to report to Charles. He definitely knows that Goo will tease him about his withdrawal and "How the mighty Shiro Oni was scared off by a weakling." He'll have to punch his jaw harder later.

• ..........................

• He couldn't get his mind off of you... Those lifeless, void eyes of yours reminded him of his own, except that they have a somewhat tranquil yet secretive charm. How does the expression go? The eyes are the windows to the soul? Is that how they say it?

• Hmm... It looks like Daniel's answer is going to have to wait. He needs to know more about you...

• As he learned more about you, he realized that you were far more intelligent and mentally stronger than he thought. According to whatever information Kouji gathered, you faced off enemies of the Corp. without even lifting a finger.

• When facing an opponent, you would place hidden traps ahead of time before observing and memorizing the loopholes of the opponent's fighting style. And since you have an expressionless face and laser-focused eye contact, it makes harder for the opponent to predict your next move.

• Your physical strength is low but your mental and academical strength exceeded greatly to the point where you negotiated with leaders from gangs without much conflict. These information intrigued Gun to the point where he thought observing you himself in the shadows.

• He learned that your abilities earned you respect from both the school and the corp. Although some of the fighters there don't cooperate well with each other, you are patient and maintained a calm demeanor towards all of them, while their differing personalities unfazed you. You trained yourself with advanced leadership skills that are equivalent to the Master's in order to give proper commands.

• From all the Hashira fighters Gun has defeated, all of them remained loyal and never revealed who you or the Master are. Even if they won and returned to you with broken bones and regretted ever taking damage, you and the Master would forgive them for their mistakes, brush it off and call it progress.

• You managed to lead both the corp, your family's Shinto shrines, school assignments, and aiding your ill Master, all at the same time. Gun has never seen such loyalty before. To think all of this weight of responsibilities on your shoulders from a young age to 17. You are truly worthy of the Ubuyashiki head's right hand title.

• You really are interesting... Gun makes sure that when you two cross paths again, he'll fight you to see for himself.

[jasonshousewife]

Another anon mentioned loving that Jason cries and SAME.

He’s the Red Hood- he’s huge and intimidating and he pulverizes the bad guys™ and he cries when he’s afraid you’ll leave him, when you praise him or say something sweet, when you’re having sex and it feels too good, literally any occasion

Poor thing has been THROUGH it he deserves to be a wreck with weird emotional regulation and get taken care of

Maybe it’s weird but I looooove a guy that displays emotion in possibly unconventional ways <3

omg yes so true 😭😭😭 that man is emotionally wrecked and needs to be taken care of!!

like that giant 6'0" muscled man needs to come home to you and crumple into your arms craving for your presence for at least 10 minutes... I have a head canon he low key enjoys being the small spoon hehe that's baby boy right there

it's not like Jason cries all the time around you, he's usually the one to comfort you when you're crying over a movie, but also he cries at the most random times when he's with you.

he just loves the small things, random things about you and get emotional thinking about it lol

he wakes up from the nightmare of you leaving him, crying. but when you try to comfort him and hold him close, he cries harder. it's not just the fear. the fact that you'll stay with him even in his worst moments, the way you don't hesitate to pull him in a hug when he's a crying mess. fuck, he's never had anything like this before. he never wants to let you go. and he never wants you to let go of him.

he gets emotional while having sex, cause- just look at you. looking so damn pretty and feeling so fucking warm for him and only him. he'd take his time tasting you and making sure he pours his love all over your body, from your chin, your breasts, your clit and your legs down to your feet. He kisses every part of you until he can't hold himself back, and shove his cock inside your welcoming wet cunt. The warmth making him shiver and tear up again cause it's you and you're so warm and sweet. he wants this to never end and wants to stay inside you forever but at the same time wants to come right there with how tight you're squeezing him. he whimpers and starts to move agonizingly slow, trying his best to make it last longer.

[heavnlysaturn]

“this is me one day after finishing arcane”

I’m inconsolable. shattered. gutted. heartbroken. ruined. totally annihilated. completely and utterly destroyed. demolished. wrecked. crushed. pulverized. I feel like i’ve been dragged through the dirt and left for dead. torn apart. vaporized. emotionally disemboweled. spiritually bankrupt. ashes in the wind. emotionally roadkill. laid to rest

[molly-ghuleh]

hi!!! Can I get “i think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me” with Secondo please!!!! Thank you and love your work

Kiss Prompts: "I think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me."

Secondo x reader

Hihi thank you for the love!! And thank you for requesting Secondo my beloved <33 I got a little carried away with this one oooops

SFW! Contains: Angst, pining, implied smut but no explicit descriptions, manwhore Secondo trope, emotionally constipated Secondo, confessions, fluff and a happy ending, reader is gender neutral but there is one use of 'piccolina'

Kiss prompts

You have a... thing, with Secondo. This thing doesn't have a name, or a label, but it lives in his bed and in the heavy air inside his chamber as he makes you cry his name over and over. It's a thing that you know he shares with other Siblings of Sin, sometimes multiple at once. The thing is not special to him.

But it is to you.

It wasn't supposed to be special at first. It was just an arrangement that the two of you had (literally) stumbled into one evening after the dinner hour. Secondo had been furious at something Nihil had said and stormed out of the refectory, and you were the lucky Sibling who he practically ran over in his haste to distance himself from the old man. He had been angry and in need of a distraction, and the way his large hands grabbed your arms to keep you from falling had been enough for you to agree to join him in his bed that very night.

Apparently Secondo had enjoyed what relief you gave him, because he invited you to his bed again within a week of that incident. It became somewhat of a routine. He had been very clear from the start--it's just a form of stress relief. It's merely because your bodies reacted to another in a way that felt exquisite for you both. It is not an emotional affair in the slightest. Secondo is not an emotional man. So, you will take the little crumbs he offers you in the form of a repeated, open invitation.

But oh, how can you not fall in love with him when his aftercare is even better than the sex? He takes aftercare more seriously than he does its 'before' activity. Secondo does not allow you (or anyone) to stay the night after an evening of passion; but that doesn't mean you leave him feeling dejected or used. He is very, very careful to make sure you know he cares for you in at least some capacity. Whatever you need until you feel like you can stand on your own two feet again, he gives you. Massage? Bath or shower? Water and a snack? He does it before you can even ask. And then he'll walk you to the door, open it for you, and bid you a good night before promptly crushing your heart in his hands.

It's not just in his bedroom that you meet him. You occasionally run into him at the coffee pot in the Ministry kitchens. The first time, you'd offered to make him a cup. He told you how he takes his coffee, and you struck up a little conversation as you waited for it to brew. From there you always seemed to find a subject on which to approach him later--whether it's a sermon he plans to give, or a new type of tea you want to try, or a new tidbit of Ministry gossip (yes, he admits that he loves drama, but you are the only one who knows and he asked you to keep it that way). And at the end of each little interaction, he asks you to meet him that night, and you consider turning him down to protect your own feelings.

You come, though. Every time he invites you, you come back and you let him pulverize your heart into smaller and smaller pieces. It's your fault, really--you should've ended things with him as soon as you started to feel. Because as stellar as his aftercare is, all you can think about is having to fall asleep alone. Having to pretend you don't love him when you run into him during the day, masking your heartache with banter. How you'll never have his heart but you will always have the little smirks he gives you when you make him laugh.

The very man who holds your heart doesn't even know he's breaking it.

All of these thoughts, which you've started having every time you meet with him, swirl around your head as you come down from a rather long bout of sex with Secondo. He seems agitated tonight. He hadn't bothered with his usual bells and whistles, instead just choosing to take you in a more primal way. You've spent enough time with him (inside the bedroom and out) to know that there's something on his mind.

You decide to test your luck because your heart aches particularly hard for him this evening. "Papa," you say softly, "are you alright? You seem... distracted."

He doesn't turn his head to meet your gaze, instead choosing to close his eyes completely. The two of you lay on your backs beside one another and you desperately want to take his hand. "It is nothing, dolce."

Your heart clenches but you don't push the issue further. You take a few more breaths and steel yourself against the inevitable pain of having to leave him again. The blanket slides off your naked body as you sit up, searching for your discarded clothes on his floor. You don't have the strength to endure his tender aftercare tonight.

Secondo notices your poorly-concealed haste to dress and opens his eyes. "What do you need?" He asks too kindly.

"I... I need for you to let me go," you mutter, pulling on a sock. I need for you to let me leave tonight and I need for you not to ask me back.

"Dolce," Secondo calls after you when you stand to find your shoes. You can hear the slight confusion in his voice, still gravelly from how he growled in your ear minutes before. "Stop, and tell me what is wrong."

You turn your back to him. You can't look him in the eye when you break your own heart, because you will cry and that will be the last thing he sees of you. "I need to go."

You hear the rustling of blankets as Secondo stands. "No."

"No?" "No," he repeats. "You will stay and tell me why you are in such a hurry to leave."

You huff out a humorless laugh. "Isn't that what you want?" You snap. It comes out harsher than you'd meant--but perhaps this will be easier if he's angry at you. Easier for him, or for you?

"I want to make sure you are alright."

"I'm not," you say, your voice hitching. "I'm not, Secondo. So I need to go."

A broad hand comes to rest on your turned shoulder, and the warmth and weight of it comforts you despite your agony. "Are you hurt?" he speaks lowly. His voice is close to your ear. "Did I do something you did not like? Let me take care of you, dolce."

Secondo gently urges you to turn and face him, and you let him, but you don't meet his eyes. Instead you stare at your feet so he doesn't see the tears welling in your eyes from your shame. He's going to make you admit it.

His other hand gently curls under your chin and tilts your head up towards him. "Piccolina," he says when he sees how glassy your eyes are. The softness of his voice is like a salve on your feelings, even though you know this is just his aftercare.

"I can't do this, Papa," you say, the words tumbling from your mouth without your intent. "I need you to stop inviting me to your bed. Because I will come and it will only hurt more when you turn me away."

"Dolce--"

"I know," you cut him off, sounding more angry than you are. "I know it was supposed to be just a means to an end, but... it isn't for me. Not anymore."

You lift your chin away from his hand and turn to leave, but he catches you. He draws you into him, your back to his front and his large arms encircling you so you can't move. You release a pathetic little sob that sounds more like a whimper. "Please," you breathe.

He leans his head down so his cheek rests against your temple and his mouth is at your ear. "Stay," he whispers in the softest tone you've ever heard form him. "Stay the night."

You freeze. Did you hear that right...? "Wh-what?"

Secondo simply holds you for a moment. Silence echoes between you louder than your own rapid heartbeat in your ears. Hope blooms in your chest. It's warm and comfortable and it tugs at your soul. It tells you that all those crumbs he gave you fell from something bigger. Sweeter.

"Dolce... I have not taken another lover in months. not since you," he mutters in your ear. "You were never just a means to an end. I am sorry that it took me this long to... to accept that."

You turn in his grip, tilting your head up to look at his face. He's always been known to keep a healthy rotation of partners. You hadn't assumed that would change just because you came along, but he's telling you that it did. That with you, he feels like he doesn't need anyone else. The warm, simmering hope in your chest explodes when you meet his eyes.

The tips of his ears are red and it's the only indication that he's blushing under his smudged Papal paint. "I... do not make flowery speeches, piccolina. I cannot say I will do everything right. I may know how to seduce you but I..."

Oh, your poor, emotionally frustrated Papa. You can see the little crease between his brows deepen, and you know that he's kicking himself. "...I do not know how to do this."

You smile at him, trying to mask how badly you want to shout with elation. "I... I think this is the part where you kiss me," you whisper. "And then when you've kissed me to both our liking, you take me back to bed and hold me."

Secondo follows your rules. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you. It's a gesture free of lust or urgency, but you can also tell just how nervous he really is. You flatten your palms on his still-bare chest and his heart pounds against his ribcage. It's real, and it beats for you, just as yours beats for him.

He gently lifts you back into his bed and pulls your body against his. You settle into him, completely content, because you know you won't have to spend a night alone again.

[ruporas]

i've been wondering- what do you think of vash and ww's relationship to pain? do u have any thoughts on it??

cuz i was just thinking like. obviously they're both extremely resilient and don't care much if they get hurt in the process of achieving whatever, but like... as for the pain specifically, i have to wonder.

cuz i'm reading trimax for the first time and toward the end of the sand steamer mess kite basically asks if vash even feels pain. and i mean... he has to, since not that long ago he just hit the floor with a dramatic blood splatter lmao. but like.

is he just suppressing visible reactions? or does he just not feel pain unless it's above a certain level?

and i wanna know about ww too if you have thoughts, i just haven't gotten that far in trimax :')

forgive me if my wording is all over the place, i havent been very elegant in my words Lately, but i am always down to talk about specific shit involving vash and wolfwood,

if we're just talking physical pain, yeah, i think they feel pain normally!

For Vash, he is the master of repression throughout Trimax, so I think naturally, he keeps a strong face no matter the level of hurt, whether on the outside or inner. It's just in his nature to not allow others to worry about him by pulling through with a fake smile or in some cases, he feels like he deserves the pain inflicted on him so even if he's getting pulverized to shit or threatened against his life, he'd default to a silence as opposed to screaming in agony that might make people think he isn't feeling anything. It's probably also second nature for him to no longer yelp or cry at pain after the amount of years he's spent getting hurt, but i think this only applies if he isn't emotionally involved in a fight (which is rare, but it happens in ch. 38).

In terms of physical pain, he seems to feel it like how regular humans do. I've thrown together some examples where he goes owchie owchie owchie that aren't too spoilery:

The Emilio scene is kind of why I don't think he's just playing up the theatrics of feeling pain, though I do think he would on some occasion, especially since he roleplays with children all the time. Verbally saying "ow ow ow" could potentially be an instinctive reaction too or maybe a source of comfort. But yeah!! I think Vash has always been able to feel pain and it's not like being a plant has lessen his ability to do so. Any resilience built is tacked on due to him being alive for 100 years and being a guy with a clear painted bullseye on his entire figure that ends up getting him shot and scarred.

In the end, the pain that gets to Vash the most will always be on an emotional level rather than physical, but Vash is such a genuine person and so present when it comes to other people that even if it's a pain he can take, it'll still hurt him terribly in more ways than one.

For Wolfwood; I think in general, those under the Eye of Michael have a strong resilience to dealing with pain due to the regen potions and the amount of training forced on them. I don't think we ever get the full description of what exactly those in EoM endured throughout their younger years, but we saw WW get shot at an early age in chapter 12 and we can assume it happened more than once. Over and over again until he won't even flinch against it just like how killing without hesitation was attempted to be drilled into him. I don't really know how it works scientifically… but I fully believe that he's mostly numbed to the physical sensation of it and it's the psychological part that gets to him more. Wolfwood himself is a naturally skilled fighter too, not that that really has anything to do with his dealing with pain, but I think his focus and attention on a battle and his stubbornness to win kicks an adrenaline that allows him to ignore the pain.

Though, his body also gets sore and tired just like any regular human does and there's this instance where he goes owie too:

(While NOT as much as Tristamp WW does where he's cracking a cold one every goddamn minute, I do think Trimax WW has gotten used to taking regen pots and thus, can afford to be careless and not give a damn.)

So, physically, technically in canon, they don't really have anything that specially makes either of them unable to feel pain, but just as you said, they're incredibly resilient. And ultimately, the both of them are affected emotionally/psychologically that hurts them more than the physical aspect of it, considering how physical pain is almost a daily chore for them to deal with (Vash being hunted for sport for majority of his life + Wolfwood being involved in experiments/killings for majority of his life.)

I think Trigun in general, while showing physical pain being a strong factor of hurt for regular people like us constantly seeing civiilians get beat up or shot, it tends to boil down to the multiple varieties of pain when it comes to those who deal with physical pain often (Gung Hos, Vash, EoM members).

I didn't know where to put these comments but here are extra thoughts:

They're both evidently really good at hiding their pains or any mark of vulnerability. They both could have a hole in their chest and go days without anyone else noticing so long it isn't killing them.

They're both pretty reckless during battle, but I think for Vash, he already tries to avoid violence at all cost and thus, do in a roundabout way lessen his own chance of getting hit in hoping to not stir that violence against another. As a result, I think Wolfwood can be way more reckless and ends up getting hurt more unnecessarily as a result of it.

They both are capable of healing at quick rates so I'm sure that allows the pain to feel more temporary, less of a risk to sustain, and to further hone in not caring too much about getting shot. That only applies for themselves individually though because every time they see each other get hurt, they're always so so worried despite knowing the other will be fine.

i'm pretty sure i repeated myself like 800 times, but i hope this Answered the question SFGMSDKGSMDKH i also tried to be vague enough in my wordings and focus only on the beginning-ish of trimax so to not spoil! i hope u enjoy ur reading of it!!

[ittybittybumblebee]

vent, again. sorry. just look away

everywhere i turn in my life im encouraged to be myself and make my own descisions. also from the same people in my life who have said without knowing what i am is wrong and doesnt and shouldnt really exist :']

everywhere i go online i see people talking about how you will suffocate hiding yourself. and you need to find a space and a community. im isolated from community. i am codependant on whats keeping me suffocated. is there really no painless outcome for me to be happy someday. other people do it. they cut ties with the harmful things in their life. other people do it all the time, it is painful, but why cant i do it , im so scared . if i ever tried to do something i would ruin everything and i would be alone or forced to come crawling back and accept my lot and be a good child who doesnt oppose anythng ever again to avoid harrassment and emotionally damaging and stressful interactions on who i want to be . that would put me in the ground. i cant do it. i can never ever be brave, i have countless reasons i cant and every one of them feel like excuses. im being pulverized by myself, i hate me for it deeply . my home life is not bad i promise you they love me and dont understand outside their world views. it is just absolutly , ever unknowingly unintentionally suffocating.

[respectthepetty]

I am laughing so hard at the preview for MLC ep. 6; it looks like Heart and Li Ming will get to kiss before Gun and Tinn do in MSP lolololol (laughing where I can because I am wrung out like a dish towel, today's episode utterly pulverized my soul, petition to rename this show Emotionally Devastating Flashback Sequences, The Series)

I don't know if it will happen tomorrow for Li Ming and Heart (never trust the previews!), but in a show that has shown us how important a kiss is, I'm glad that Li Ming and Heart get to have one with the possibility of Jim witnessing it.

Jim hasn't kissed Wen. He won't let himself. We saw in the flashbacks how much care and love Jim had in the kisses he gave his ex. We saw in the flashbacks how much love and care Wen had in the kisses he gave Alan.

But they never had an audience. Jim was worried people would see, and Wen no longer wants people to see, but for Heart and Li Ming, two people who feel caged and isolated, a kiss between them with someone to witness their love...it could be life-changing, not just for them, but for the witness.

I hope if they kiss, and Jim sees it, he will see that love, he will see the possibility, and he will be reminded of what he has given up. Jim mentioned that love nearing 40 is much different than young love. He is wrong. It's not that the love is different; the heartache is. Jim doesn't want the heartache, so he doesn't accept the love. Jim might even be worried for Li Ming after seeing the (almost) kiss because he is always reminded of his heartache and wants to shield Li Ming from that pain.

But the kiss between Heart and Li Ming is needed for Jim to see that love is worth the heartache. So many people already love Jim; it's time he accepted some of it without the fear that it will destroy him.

[senpujin]

real name : setsuna  /  せつな .  single or taken : single abilities or powers : as a hanyo , setsuna has  more strength & speed than a regular human  ;  however  ,  most of her abilities lie in her naginata  ,  kanemitsu no tomoe , which is later known as yukari no tachikiri .  she can create a cyclone that pulverizes her enemies by twirling it in the air  ,  send venomous swallows & a fire vermillion bird towards her adversary(ies)  ,  put other people to sleep & cut threads of fate . eye colour : lavender . hair colour : dark brown . family members :  her mother  ,  sesshomaru  ( father )  ,  towa  ( twin sister )  ,  moroha  ( cousin )  ,  inuyasha  ( uncle )  ,  kagome  ( aunt ) ,  inu no taisho  ( grandfather )  ,  inukimi  ( grandmother ) .  pets : none . although she likes to borrow kirara from time to time .

something they don’t like : naiveté & evil demons . hobbies/activities : she plays the violin in her free time & has nothing else to do . ever hurt anyone before : yes , emotionally . she can’t help it .  setsuna is very blunt & straightforward .  &  no matter who is standing on the receiving end of her words  ,  she is not afraid to say things as they are  ,  even if it hurts the other’s feelings .   animal that represents them :  biologically , the most obvious answer would be the dog . but  other than that  ,  the swallow . worst habits : not asking for help .  given her line of work  ,  she can work in teams just fine .   but she tends to separate easily  &  take on an assignment by herself . bottling up  /  ignore her feelings .   her survival technique  ,  is to keep calm & a cool face in all circumstances .  to not show what you’re feeling & to not let emotions overtake you  /  get in the way when making a decision . role models : sango (  canon divergent & au .  )   as the only girl that is a demon slayer  ,  setsuna admires sango mostly for the same  ,  that she was the most valuable player in the group of demon slayers that were sent to exterminate the stronger yokai & since she was very young .  kohaku ( all verses ) .  not only is he the person that welcomed her to the taijiya village  ,  but also someone that she openly admires & respects  ,  & even sees as a father figure .  she is also aware the he  ,  along with his sister  ,  were the only survivors of the attack the village suffered years ago  & he was the one to rebuild it .  not to mention  ,  she sees in him the perfect balance she seeks to achieve one  day .  someone that made his way to the top with his own effort  &  is also able to show love to others . inuyasha ,  ( au verse  )  as a hanyo , her uncle played an important role during her childhood  ,  especially in feeling comfortable with her mixed blood .  when she was a child , & started to be aware of what it meant to be a hanyo in the world of humans & demons  ,  setsuna strived to be like him in not caring what other people say & think .

sexual orientation : undetermined . thoughts on marriage/kids :  setsuna views marriage as an union that only the lucky ones are able to do for love  &  the rest only do as a means to an end  since a human’s time in sengoku jidai are too short .  & kids  ,  she views them as the effect of that union . style preferences :  her favorite colors to wear are different shades of blue & purple .  in sengoku jidai  ,  she wears mostly her work gear with the mokomoko wrapped around her shoulder because of the circumstances of the era  &  having to stay alert to her surroundings .  when in reiwa jidai  ,  setsuna prefers to wear comfortable but classy clothes ,  even uses short heels  ;  reflecting that she doesn’t find the need to stay on guard all the time ( doesn’t see the need to fight ) & can relax .  approach to friendships :  she is never the one to approach .  on that field , she is more of the type to go with the flow .  if she finds someone trustworthy enough  ,  she will be open to approach & then let time decide . 

thoughts on pie : hasn’t tried pie before.   favourite drink : hot tea ( which mostly consists of plain hot water ) favourite place to spend time at :  the training grounds at the taijiya village  ;  &  during the night  ,  she likes to sit outside the limestone cave to take her night watch there  & play the violin  ,  since it is a location where she can work but also play the the instrument without the concern that she is going to wake up the others . swim in the lake or in the ocean : the lake . their type : she hasn’t given much thought about that .  she doesn’t think she has an specific type physically speaking  .  emotionally speaking  ,  someone that makes her feel  /  give her the security that it is safe & ok to feel & show emotions .  since she is someone that doesn’t like to show how she feels & thinks that showing them is a liability in sengoku jidai  ,  like letting your guard down ;  she admires  /  envies  when someone can manage to survive the era & is able to express emotions freely .  especially love . camping or indoors : no preference .  

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 : stole it from my :’D 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 : you see this & want to do it ? consider yourself tagged c: ♡ !

[intertexts]

now that my undersider feelings are out of the way a little bit. predictions wise I think we are leading up to a big confrontation against coil and I am VERY nervous about that. because no way in hell would he fight them himself . he's gonna send the travelers after them and i LIKE THE TRAVELERS. I desperately want 2 know more about the fucked up dynamics in that group. there's a fucking STORY there and I NEED to know the details so badly. anyway I don't want them to fight bc I like them a lot and i know if those two groups fight SOMEONE is not going to make it out alive. especially considering the fact that coil still has access to dinah AND his fucked up parallel reality power. like it's almost guaranteed he will win any sort of confrontation. or even if he loses he'll find some way to spin it in his favor. I don't LIKE him I don't TRUST him he's gonna do something fucked up!!!!!!

also irt the s9. i don't even KNOW what to think about them rn. it seems like we're in some sort of. rest period from them right now and I don't TRUST IT. i don't want to let my guard down in the slightest like i feel like they're gonna go fight coil and bonesaw is gonna be there with a fucked up flesh beast or something. they're definitely not gone forever I don't think. I'm just afraid of the possibility that they could show up AT ANY TIME AND *END THE WORLD.???* (<< which. btw. I don't know how I feel about the whole apocalypse thing yet. that feels like such an incomprehensible big problem that it doesn't even feel real. kinda thing where I'm like "oh ok whatever I'll deal with that when it gets here" so I'm not ???? SUPER afraid of that rn but I know i will be the closer it gets to happening. good lord. no idea HOW it's gonna happen either. maybe something with the endbringers idk << restringing abt the endbringers still bc we haven't heard abt them in a while and it's putting me on edge)

mac and cheese i am SO fucking excited to tell u u will get a whole travelers arc :]]]]] u will!!! learn about them!!!!!! (i don't think this counts as spoilers. its like saying u get a parian interlude eventually. u don't know when or where!) but i'm so fucking hyped for u to get to it.....

smiling placidly at ur thoughts on coil. my lips r fucking zipped!!!!! legally i cannot comment!!! "coil's gonna do something fucked up" fork found in kitchen!!!!!!! honestly i don't even hate coil in a fun mallard conway way i just want to like.... hold him by two fingers at arms length from me. but i also think he's pretty fucking cool. god. i like emotionally distant cold & calculating characters!! they make me go sickos yes ha ha yes!! he also just. i need to pulverize him with a flyswatter though. ugh. do you think taylor will succeed with dinah?

& yeah the s9 left town! ^_^ idr i didn't finish the end of that arc-- i thiiiink probably they mentioned the new member they went with? right? and also im giggling at this. oh you don't wanna let ur guard down? ur paranoid that the s9 are gonna appear out of nowhere? you're on edge about the endbringers? u feel like terrible stuff is gonna happen? immersive fiction experience. this is literally so earth betpilled of u. welcome to brockton bay!!!!!

[roobylavender]

what are your thoughts on the naruhina dynamic? I adore hinata, we don't often get characters like her

i LOOOOVE naruhina omfg they were my day ones when i first got into naruto.. i used to enjoy fluffier ships at the time so they perfectly fit my modus operandi lol. i think it's a shame how underwritten their relationship is in main canon (in the sense that they don't get as much page time) because the set up is so good and the few moments they do share with each other are incredibly potent. the pain arc was utterly life changing for me and while i loathe the way the anime generally tends to portray most of the female cast this was one occasion where its expansion on the manga was actually so well executed and remains seared in my mind to this day (please watch from 2:06 of this amv it makes me feel CRAZY). unfortunately the ball was totally dropped with neji's death and instead of adapting hinata's full THREE page monologue to naruto the anime reduced it down to one line that she's consistently been mocked for even though her intentions in the aftermath of that event were so sincere.. i'm always baffled by people's hatred of her because they seem to act like she's timid or quiet on purpose as if she wasn't abused by her father for half of her life. and then they act like she's stupid and can only think about her feelings for naruto at the expense of everything else. but if it was anyone out there on the battlefield watching someone they love get absolutely pulverized would they not do something about it too regardless of their own ability in comparison? i don't think that moment ever came down to logic and i don't think it even had to. comparatively when she made a remarkable display of composure and emotional strength in response to her cousin's death everyone laughed at her for subsequently accepting the smallest bit of comfort (and don't even get me started on how neji fans feel about her generally.. they direct more hatred to that poor girl than they do her father lmao it's insane). it's simply bizarre the expectations she's held to and the consistency with which she's underestimated because she's capable of a lot emotionally and the development is there! and a lot of people act like if naruto really loved her he would have reciprocated during the main narrative but i always argue it was unrealistic for any relationship between the teen characters to be actualized during the main narrative because they were literally at war.. i'm an avid hater of the last admittedly but that's because i think it squanders the potential the main narrative immediately set up with naruto and hinata theoretically bonding over their grief and desire to take action to ensure nothing like what they went through ever happened again. i've always dreamed of post-war naruto commencing his education in leadership and diplomacy under tsunade's tutelage and that occasionally entailing long days in the library reading over historical scrolls and the like that happen to sometimes be on the same shelf as a scroll on the history of cursed seals, which of course hinata begins to look into after the war because she wants this branch clan business over and done with for good and if there's a way to remove those seals forever she'll find it. the idea of the two of them on awkward library non-dates that eventually segue into something more and develop a rapport and friendship between them that can bloom into love is simply so special to me like urgh they make me Weepy. i truly love them so so much and most of my naruto fanfiction is actually about them lol i do think a lot of it is cringe and over the years i tried to rewrite some of it but if you're interested in reading all of it is here

[badoobers]

Jesus christ if you love fat guts so much why don't you just marry one?

(How's that for bullying?)

I’m trying ok 😭 but there’s no single gay bellies in my area 😭😭😭

(Very nice bullying, I feel very emotionally pulverized 😌)

[transcendentalmaggot]

My head is a mess, what else is there? I feel utterly trapped, trying to dig my way out of mile deep hole with my bare hands. The absolute worst and most dehumanizing aspect to being disabled for me is the lack of agency, of having to depend on others who resent me for what’s beyond my control. My brother assumes that if I weren’t disabled, our incredibly unhappy and unwell parents would have stayed together, not dedicated their time to destroying themselves, isolating themselves and refusing any and all help for what are obvious signs of mental illness.

If I weren’t sick, they would have had a college fund for him and they’d be sober and present and not emotionally volatile with an inability to cope with pain in a healing manner. I manage my health because both my parents have often proven to be detrimental to my care (threatening staff, engaging in behavior that could endanger patients and staff, unrealistic customer expectations and a complete unwillingness to do research beyond reading chain emails from organizations for my conditions that are basically advertisements.

I tried so hard for so long to get as far away from here as possible and I always end up stumbling backwards due to a medical crisis. I love my family but the weight of constantly being made to feel like the problem in action and words has chiseled a deep wound in my spirit. I resent my own existence and how I can never give as much as I take. Which brings the guilt and shame of needing assistance from people who have hurt me greatly though there has been an astonishing degree of progress in reducing harm and causing hurt. I feel as if I’ve been portioning out pounds of flesh to feed the voracious appetite of insatiable gluttony, to keep the peace, to listen without judgement even when the words pulverize me whole, just a shell of hollow ash from a long ago erupted volcano in the shape of a person who burned away.

I’m so distraught. I can’t remember feeling this awful in years.. I’m having a booster month with my Spravato treatment to see if it helps with my mental health symptoms but I am petrified of hope at this point.

All I have and all that I desire is the freedom to choose and remain as true to myself as possible. I am many things but I know who I am. I need to find the urge to keep surviving in a world that feels crushing… I’m not making sense. But I hope everyone is feeling better than me and that if you feel similarly things begin to ease and become brighter for you. I want to relief for us all.

[dozyote]

I'm actually doing better lately than my blog might make it seem. I was doing really great in november, and then december pulverized me emotionally for no reason. Finally after denying it for a long time, at the end of 2024 I eventually reckoned with the fact that despite not being depressed, I probably do have some kind of bipolar depressive disorder. I can at least consider myself lucky that more than anything it's an inconvenience. It would probably help if I didn't freak out every time I'm starting to feel the hypomania wear off and worry that I'm slipping back into the crisis mindset I had a couple years ago. I've learned a lot about my own mental health since then.

This year I'd like to try to roll with it. Allow myself to be vulnerable around myself. Treat myself kindly and accommodate my shortcomings when I'm not running at absolute maximum capacity. I also need to feel ok communicating that I require accommodation to people I care about. Maybe get medicated finally if I can get over my fear of doctors.

[lavieenprose]

Weeks ago, at the jazz club, I watched a woman across from me begin to cry. From something other than sadness, I think, though of course how could I know.

She looked transformed, in that moment, vivid and alive. It was the bare opposite of the kind of optically-concerned self-consciousness I mentioned seeing at another show in my last newsletter. I was watching her in the midst of feeling, and feeling something in my turn.

Feeling—feminized, belittled, compound, contradictory—is at the core of everything to me; it undergirds politics and possibility; it is what imbues what we recognize as voice, distinct and memorable, in literature and music; it constitutes the covalences of so many larger structures, from the narratives of nation-state to the way we imagine family and romance and belonging and atonement. Feeling. We want to give ourselves over to its pulverizing grandness and narcotic lulls; we want, even so, and simultaneously, to hold it at bay, to maintain ourselves outside of it, inviolate and pristine. When I look around on the subway platform to a sea of faces in phones this is what I see: a culture stupefied, hypnotized, split completely between desire to feel/desire to not feel.

I’ve had occasion to remember Rilke of late. One of the more prayerlike of his poems, Go to the limits of your longing. In the solitary interstices between work and not-work, when night-biking or weeding or chopping things, I’ve intoned, underbreath, Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. / Just keep going. No feeling is final.

“You seem very even-keeled, given everything,” a friend told me recently after we’d caught up. It’s all the Rilke, I considered joking.

In seriousness, in recent years, I’ve enjoyed the sense of having grown around my past griefs, of having become more emotionally capacious. More able to let happiness and presentness sit companionate with difficulty and loss. Of late, I have been trying to let feeling pass through me, like sound through water. To neither muffle it nor be deafened by it. If, as I’ve made a business of telling people, the future is unknowable, then that means there is an open, ever-mutable horizon for feeling as well. That’s been the battle line, drawn internally, anyway. No feeling as final. No feeling as larger than me.

I know many of you reading are not having the easiest time. I’m thinking of you with affection, and wishing you good things. If it helps: no feeling is final. If it helps: just keep going. If it helps: let everything happen to you, as it’s happened before.

[talkingfilmsnet]

Salaar: A Pulverizing Punch Through Action Cinema, But Does It Pack an Emotional Wallop?

Prepare for a sensory overload, cinephiles, because Prabhas is back and he's brought the big guns in Prashanth Neel's "Salaar." Does this high-octane action odyssey deliver on its explosive promise? Buckle up, because this review is about to take you on a wild ride of adrenaline, violence, and maybe a few lingering questions. In this blog post we will explore Salaar Review

A Story Dyed in Crimson and Vengeance:

Deva (Prabhas), a brooding man with eyes that hold a storm, carries the weight of a bloody past on his shoulders. He becomes entangled in a web of betrayal and vengeance, forced to navigate the treacherous underworld while protecting those he loves. Enter Aadhya (Shruti Haasan), a strong-willed woman with her own secrets, whose path intertwines with Deva's in a dance of danger and unlikely alliance.

Prabhas Reigns Supreme in the Action Arena:

Prabhas is in his element as Deva. He embodies the physicality and intensity of the role with effortless charisma, pulverizing enemies with balletic precision and stoic gravitas. His action sequences are a masterclass in choreography, leaving you breathless with their brutality and balletic grace. He's the linchpin of the film, carrying the narrative on his broad shoulders and delivering every punch (literal and metaphorical) with conviction.

Neel's Familiar Symphony, Played at Ear-Splitting Volume:

Director Prashanth Neel, who brought us the KGF phenomenon, returns with his signature blend of high-octane action and operatic storytelling. The camera lingers on gruesome violence, the soundtrack pulsates with heavy bass, and the narrative unfolds in a series of explosive confrontations. While fans of KGF will find familiar beats, Neel ups the ante in "Salaar," pushing the boundaries of action sequences and brutality. However, this relentless focus on action leaves little room for character development or emotional depth, leaving some viewers yearning for a softer touch.

Beyond the Bloodshed: Glimmers of Humanity:

While "Salaar" revels in its violent spectacle, it's not devoid of human touch. The relationship between Deva and Aadhya develops a subtle tenderness amidst the mayhem, offering a glimpse into the vulnerability beneath their hardened exteriors. However, these moments feel fleeting, swallowed by the relentless action sequences. The film hints at deeper themes of loyalty, revenge, and the burden of the past, but never fully explores them, leaving you wanting more than just adrenaline-fueled thrills.

A Visually Audacious Spectacle:

"Salaar" is a technical marvel. The cinematography is stunning, capturing the grit of the underworld and the grandeur of action sequences with equal skill. The visual effects are seamless, transforming ordinary landscapes into battlegrounds and creating gravity-defying stunts. The sound design is a sonic assault, immersing you in the heart-pounding rhythm of the fight scenes and amplifying the tension in every scene. This is a film that demands to be experienced on the big screen, a feast for the senses that will leave you exhilarated and slightly shellshocked.

Conclusion  of Salaar Movie Review

"Salaar" is a cinematic adrenaline rush, a non-stop rollercoaster of action sequences and brutal confrontations. Prabhas is in top form, delivering a physically imposing and emotionally nuanced performance. However, the film's relentless focus on spectacle comes at the expense of character development and emotional depth. While the visuals and action are undeniably impressive, they often overshadow the human story beneath the surface. "Salaar" is a must-watch for die-hard action fans and Prabhas devotees, but those seeking a more emotionally resonant experience may find themselves wanting more. It's a pulverizing punch through action cinema, but the emotional impact ultimately lingers like a fading bruise.