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silkbab3y · 8 months ago

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I haven't said anything about this until now because I respected Sai's wishes to let them deal with the matter first before getting the ok to voice my thoughts and opinions. I almost decided not to because this whole situation has left me extremely overstimulated, overly stressed, and honestly-- disappointed. But nonetheless, here I go.

I would've written this in tags but I'm a yapper and have too much shit to get off my chest. Going to Winndy in regards to that warning about overshadowing other members wasn't in any way to discourage her from sharing her creations-- Winndy has a wonderful mind and the most brilliant ideas for characters and stories, and that is something I will always admire about Winndy.

That shows in the countless of talks we would have about our ocs together late at night, the art and the writings I would make for Winndy-- and I know that was the same for some of the other people directly involved with this.

The issue was never about Winndy sharing their creation, it was never about their autism-- and quite frankly, I feel a bit disrespected that that had become such a huge excuse and play, even if that wasn't the intention. I, myself, am neurodivergent-- almost my whole family have been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, or haven't been diagnosed but show many traits of neurodivergency. The issue? Was how this whole thing was handled.

I do feel guilty for approaching Winndy when they were having a stressful time, I can admit that it slipped my mind. I had caught covid and ended up being bedridden for a few days-- I could barely move, eating was a chore, and all I could really do was sleep-- and just hope I'd recover quickly (unfortunately my ass ended up out of commission from school for 2 weeks). Even when I knew my own condition, I choose to be the one who dmd Winndy because I knew some of the mods were either uncomfortable due to prior confrontations with Winndy or were new to the staff. And I had gone to them, not just as a mod but as a close friend as we've known each other 2 years prior of me joining the yan vn community.

When I had apologized and offered the space Winndy had asked for, they proceeded to lash out at me. I understand that they were frustrated, and she had every right to feel frustrated-- but instead of actually taking that space before coming back to talk about it, they proceeded to dm other members of the server AND Sai about it.

I wasn't expecting Winndy to accept my apology or suddenly feel better when I had done so, and when Winndy had reminded me of their stress and grief, I sincerely felt sorry-- because I knew that was shitty of me, hence why I apologized and backed away. But I also wasn't expecting Winndy to go off and paint us all as horrible people, going to others' dms and saying the most ominous things-- then leaving a vaguely negative departing message in the server and now making this thing a whole public fiasco.

I can admit my mistakes, I can stop and realize "hey, what I did wasn't the best action to take"-- and I can improve from that. That's just what it is being an adult, being human-- I can accept the fact I did something wrong, and do better.

So it's crazy to me seeing this talk of 'communication is key', 'we should handle this like adults'-- but... you were not giving the same energy back? You had all the opportunity to talk to me ever since that dm, but instead-- chose to go to Sai about it, chose to talk shit about us to the point someone (or people! can't tell cause they were anonymous) had sent us disrespect in your name (whether it was what you intended or not, I honestly do not care at this point).

You can be upset that other members in the server outside of the staff team didn't bring it up to you beforehand-- but YOU even admitted you understood why they would've not wanted to. Last year when this happened, you were a MOD-- and even then this year, you were still Sai's and most of our staffs' closest friends, mine included. Whether you realize it or not, you had more privileges and security just by being our closest friend-- which shouldn't have been fair when we've let this issue drag on for almost a YEAR.

And even then-- even with those anonymous reports out of the picture, when Puppy and I had confronted you directly to your face about starting to feel overshadowed ourselves, you proceeded to lash out at us. I know last year was a mess, tension was high and there was just so much stress going on with trying to fix up the server-- but when you were faced with a concern regarding YOU, you ran away from modship, and even this year-- you ran away from the server instead of actually trying to communicate, to acknowledge that you did something that had caused multiple people to feel unwelcomed, as you feel now.

And what disappoints me the most? How easily you were able to end our friendships, how easy it was for you to burn bridges because you couldn't accept the fact that you had made mistakes repeatedly and couldn't own up to them.

I genuinely don't care if this in anyway blackens my reputation or makes people see me in a bad light, but I won't stand for it when you try and tarnish my friends', who were also YOUR friends, whether it was your intentions or not.

It's hypocritical, it's immature, and it's just is so confusing, how you could easily just act as if we were no longer friends then, and that I was just some stranger to you doing you wrong.

I've cried too much about this shit, I've experienced so much stress over something that yeah, should've been handled like adults. But as they say 'it takes two'.

I will no longer concern myself with this, my main priority is surrounding myself with a wonderful community and ensuring that I keep it a safe space. My love for the server and the people within it will always persist and I will continue to cherish every moment with each individual.

I'm sorry things ended up this way, Winndy. I wish you the best.

I did not wish to make this, I do not wish to bring bad light to others, so I am doing everything I can in this statement to keep it as vague as possible to grant others the same privacy I should have. But because my privacy was not respected I have no choice but to come forward with this.

If you know what I am talking about, then this is my side of things. If you don't know what I am talking about, then please move on.

(Also to note, I realize what day I am posting this on. This is absolutely NOT a joke.)

To preface this. My dad died suddenly Feb 26th. I cannot begin to detail what it feels like to lose him, after I've lost many others, to try and handle my emotions and grief while also handling the logistics of his belongings and estate, all this while having to write this on top of it. If I come across as intense, this is why.

I was in a discord server when it first opened. I dedicated a lot of time, energy, art and passion to it. I was even a mod at one point but stepped down due to my own reasons.

While there, we had an anonymous survey posted to gather information from the community about the server, what we could do to improve, what was liked and so on. Instead, some used it as a means to anonymously complain about members. I was a target of these complaints.

A quick note. This server was made within a community that has suffered MANY hardships due to anons. Keep this in mind.

One of the rules is that if you have a personal grievance with another member, to try to resolve it through DMs before coming to a mod or to even send in a ticket.

I must be clear; I was NEVER DMed by anyone how I made them uncomfortable. Not once. Nor were these complaints directly messaged to the mods. This was all through the survey (I will touch up more on this later).

I and other staff/mods that used to be on the team suggested we remove the anonymity. It's too risky for it to be abused, because as noted earlier, this community has suffered a lot through abuse from anons. This suggestion was ignored.

Now, I suppose I should say what the complaints were about. I was told I made others uncomfortable due to, and I am paraphrasing here; "talking over others, redirecting conversations back to myself and my ocs, and making too many jokes and insults about characters."

I will also say. I am autistic. What was mentioned are signs of someone with autism. My dad was autistic. I do not bring this up to deflect or excuse anything, merely to give further context.

I want to explain a bit of my process when I interact with others, in this case especially pertaining to an online space.

When I am talking with someone, anyone, I try to be as inclusive and welcoming as I can be. Saying hello, how they’re doing, that sort of thing. But a conversation is a two way street. If I don’t get a reply or any sort of means to keep the conversation going, I move on. That’s just… how talking goes. I can get very passionate in talking to folks, especially friends and things in line with my interests. It’s hard for me to notice if folks are uncomfortable in person, online it is impossible to tell. I need people to tell me directly if I am doing something uncomfortable and what it is, and if I can fix it.

My process for ocs is this: I see someone talking about their oc, they say something that reminds me of one of mine, then I share my oc. This is not to direct the conversation to me, but to share in it, it is in conjunction. I want to learn more of yours and I do that best by sharing mine. I cannot know if this isn't what you want if I am not told. And I wasn't.

I like to make jokes about characters, analyze them, critique them. I try to do this in a way that makes it clear this isn't an insult to those who like the character(s). But again, I need to be told directly by someone if I need to stop or tone it down. I would only be told sparingly by folks, and when I would, of course I'd stop, do my best to tone it down. But again, I was rarely told directly by people.

What is being described as my crimes are simply the experience of being autistic.

I cannot control it. I cannot stop it. I try to be as inclusive, warm and welcoming to all I come across. You do not HAVE to like me. But if you don't, just ignore me. You HAVE to learn to ignore people who you just… don't like. You have to learn to ignore pet peeves or to reasonably talk to the person. That's life.

So, when I received the above message, I was furious. I was at my dad’s apartment, cleaning out his stuff, and dealing with some harrowing emotions when I got this. I responded that getting this was extremely poor timing and yes, I was angry. But the one who sent this KNEW my dad died. They had seen me post about it, they acknowledged it, and still decided to message me. Who wouldn’t be angry?

Because of what I had been messaged, and the timing, I had decided to go to the owner of the server. I did not feel like it was appropriate for a mod, any mod, to message me about something that is a personal issue that folks should have messaged me themselves (and again, it is listed in the rules that things SHOULD be talked out privately between members before a mod gets involved), in a time that has been hell on earth for me.

I explained to the server owner what all happened with my feelings on the matter. I said that regardless, I would leave the server, because this was something that no one, absolutely no one, should experience. I requested for anything I contributed to the server to be removed, for I no longer felt comfortable for folks to use my art who could be the very same ones pettily using an anonymous survey to speak ill of me. So I sent my message, waited, and got a response.

I do not have anything against the server owner, but there are a few things that I must address with their response as well, because some are factually incorrect. There is full admittance to the complaints received through the anonymous survey, most recently at that. This goes counter to the rules stated that members should resolve private disputes amongst themselves first. (Again please note the screenshots of the rules.)

While perhaps not all of the mods knew of my dad’s passing, but enough DID that they should have known better. I posted briefly in the server in a slow thread so it could be better seen by people, including the mods. I had posted on tumblr as well. But the claim is no one saw it.

Again. This is just not true. Look to the above screenshots.

I do not have a screenshot of when I had sent the message initially in the server of my dad’s passing (I apologize for this), but the point being is that people knew. Another member messaged me in DMs to give their condolences. While I am and have been open about his passing, I also tried my best to not talk too much about it in the server as to bring down the mood, and I sought out the server and talked there as a source of comfort. Saying this was not clear to anyone, is false.

Now, I am sorry that I made people uncomfortable, it was never my intention to, and I will take fault in that. That isn’t what I mean to address in all this. The issue is; if people were uncomfortable, they needed to follow the rules and come to me DIRECTLY stating such, NOT give these complaints through an anonymous survey. And that I should NOT have been told during such an awful period. How can I take this at face value when I am not offered the same?

I wish to point out as well, why I kept bringing up the anonymous survey, and to bring back a note I made earlier.

There is a great deal of falsehood in using an anonymous survey to gather information, when this community has experienced a lot of hardship from anons. I have seen many people torn down and even chased out of this community and others because of people hiding behind anon. Creators, fans, and yes members, mods and even the server owner have all been victim to negativity from anons.

Now, I also must bring attention to this.

This is a screenshot I was sent of another mod posting, after I left. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. This is why I feel the need to make this statement. Giving details like this is completely unnecessary, and with this said after I left is unacceptable.

I am sorry to be redundant, but I truly am sorry if I ever did make people uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to make friends and share in the joy in creating art and characters with others. To share space in a community with something I truly found enjoyable. It’s why I’d get enthusiastic whenever OC’s were brought up and I’d share mine. I also wanted to share joy in the topic of the server, and yes some of that for me IS making jokes about characters or even giving critique.

I am not saying any of this to bad mouth or slander anyone. I say all of this to express my side of things. Someone who is grieving the loss of their dad, and so many others who came before him that are making me remember now because of his passing.

#may delete later idk!

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twjournals · 4 years ago

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So Wrong It's Right

Sequel: What's Wrong is Right

Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, DUB-CON, manipulation, age gap, drinking

PLEASE READ MY WARNING BEFORE CONTINUING. I am not responsible for your media consumption. Any and all negativity will be blocked.

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You're an old troubled friend of May's. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you're knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.

Your life was far from where you thought you would be. It was sad to say, but you were anything but a role model. Yet May still tolerated you, regardless of Peter. Maybe she used you as an example to show Peter what not to be or maybe she was just too good of a friend to leave you on your own. To say the least, your life was a mess but you could not be more grateful to have a friend like May.

"Peter, go get me a wet rag, please," May spoke quietly. Peter left your side once he helped May get you over to the couch. You were beyond the limits that someone should be drunk.

You were in a fit of hiccups, giggling to yourself as May bent down to take off your heels. You had far too many drinks, that much was clear.

"Maaay, you.." you hiccupped, "are suuuch a good.." you hiccupped again, "friend."

May shook her head with a sigh, taking in the drunken sight of you. She was not sure how you managed to let yourself get this far gone, but every time you would drink, this is how you ended up. Either you had zero limits or you loved to push the limits you did have.

"Pet-" May started to call over her shoulder, but Peter was already hurrying in the room with his hands full.

"I'm here, Aunt May." Peter reminded and she watched as Peter sat the trash can nearby the couch. He then placed the bottle of water on the table with some medicine for the headache he knew would come with your awake in the morning. He kneeled down beside you on the couch, pressing the rag to your forehead.

May only smiled to herself as she pulled the blanket from its spot on the back of the couch and pulled it over your figure. She didn't say anymore. Peter had seen his Aunt May take care of you many nights when you were so shit-faced it was a wonder you could still see faces.

Your head was propped up against a pillow on the couch as Peter wiped your forehead with the cool rag. Your skin was burning up. Peter could not help but wonder how you let yourself get like this. You were quite a few years younger than May, but it amazed him how different the two of you were to be the best of friends.

You were fast asleep in no time, making Peter smile as his eyes gazed over your face. He had always thought you were so beautiful. Too precious to be taken advantage of by the guys you went after. He witnessed many nights when you had told Aunt May about a new guy you had hooked up with. Everyone knew it was nothing more than a one-night stand, but Peter could not help but hate any guys that touched you only for only their benefit.

It was not until you had eventually settled down with a guy you had met from one of your nightstands that you finally stopped ending up on May's couch. You had moved on with your life, still keeping in contact with May every now and then. You were happy. Not just the sex but he was truly seemed like a guy you could see yourself spending forever with.

You had stopped drinking. You had stopped going out to parties. After the first year, you had moved into the city and got an apartment together. Another year later, you guys were engaged and everything seemed to fall into place. After 3 years, the wedding was right around the corner.

Your world moved at a quicker pace now considering all the things you needed to get done before the wedding. In between work and house chores, you were planning for your big day.

As time went by, you were so wrapped up in your own little world you did not notice the slow-burning flame in your partner slowly being put out. While your plans had been coming together, your relationship was falling apart. You had for the most part ignored all the signs and assumed he was having a bad day. It amazed you how many he was having. When you would try to talk to him, it seemed useless since you could never get him to talk about it. In reality, it all brewed into something bigger. It all hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had been working later hours than usual for extra money. It wasn't cheap, but you had told yourself it was okay to want the things you wanted. After all, this was going to be your first and hopefully wedding. You wanted everything to be perfect. You even tried to get opinions from your fiance to include his vision of it, but he insisted you were better at this sort of thing. You couldn't argue with that.

You wrapped up your work at the office fairly early so you decided to call it a night and surprise your fiance. You felt like everything was on track. One night worry-free was much needed. You had earned it.

You pushed open the front door to your apartment before walking through the living room into the kitchen. You sit your keys on the counter, placing your bag on the stool by the counter. You peered around the apartment for a moment. All the lights were off and it was quiet. Had he already gone to bed? You checked the time.

7:13pm

You were surprised you did not hear his game or at least him yelling at it. You started down the hallway to the bedroom you shared, staring at the closed door. Why was it closed when it was just him? You shook the thought a little too soon. Maybe if you had just thought a little longer, you would have prepared yourself for what was on the other side.

You pushed the door open just a little to see inside when you heard a faint moan from the other side. Your heart stopped. You stood in shock taking in the sight of the man you were in love with hovered over another girl in your bed under your covers. Your face was hot in embarrassment, anger. You were feeling so many things right now you could not think straight. You were hurt.

"Are you serious??" You blurted out, causing them both to jump to try and cover themselves.

"You're sick, Chris." She shoved his chest, pushing him off of her as she quickly got out of the bed. "He told me you guys were no longer together."

She scowled as she hurried to gather her clothes off the floor and pulling them on. If it were even possible, your eyes could have burned holes through the girl. You were in disbelief. Your jaw would have already been on the floor if it wasn't connected to your face.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled, embarrassed as she hurried past you out of your apartment.

You were left to deal with Chris. You starred at him with tears kissing your eyes.

"I-"

You took a deep breath, shaking your head. "Don't."

"I can explain." He started to get out of the bed to dress.

"There's nothing to explain, Chris." You stared at him, trying to restrain yourself from coming across the room and punching him in the face for acting like an explanation could even justify his actions.

"She meant nothing to me." He started to walk over to you.

“You told her we weren’t together. How is that nothing?”

“It felt like we weren’t. You were so busy.” He tried to touch your arm but you shoved his hand away.

"Don't you dare think about touching me when you were just touching another woman." You looked at him with dark eyes, struggling to fight back the cry. He wasn't worth your tears. "I want you to get out."

"Get out?! Where am I gonna go?"

"I don't know." You shrugged your shoulders. "Maybe you could have thought that through."

He frowned, running his fingers through his hair frustrated. "It doesn't have to be like this. Can't we just talk this out?"

"No!" You shouted at him, making his eyes grow wide. You could tell he wasn't telling this as seriously as you. "I don't want to look at you right now." You turn to leave the room, but he grabs your arms to turn you to face him.

"Please. Look, I can- I can stay on the couch tonight. I'll give you your space and when you're ready we can talk about it. I was wrong for that. I fucked up and I'm sorry." You yanked yourself from his hold.

"You can give me space by leaving. Pack yourself a bag and go."

"I love you, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you."

You shook your head as your eyes wandered over the bed to where they once were before meeting his eyes. "You mean you never meant to get caught."

He sighed before hanging his head in defeat and walking by you to gather up some of his things. You didn't move from your spot. Only stared at the mess of a bed. The place you made love to him while he made love to another. You listened to the front door close behind him on his way out before you finally covered your face, letting the tears fall.

For days, weeks, all you could seem to do was feel sorry for yourself. You couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. No matter how many calls you received, you let them ring through to voicemail. Everything you had felt for him was in ruins. You changed for him. You let yourself grow for him and even that wasn't enough. After all the time you spent picking up after him, cooking, cleaning, planning, staying loyal for crying out loud. You didn't know what else he could of you.

You had called off the wedding in the time you stayed closed up in your apartment. Even took some time off of work to handle it all. You took that time to gather every piece of him scattered around the apartment and packed it up. You wanted to end this as painless as possible aside from the pain you were already feeling. You had thrown away the sheets and replaced them, even get a new comforter and it still didn't feel the same anymore to lay in your bed. You stared at your phone beside you as it lit up for what felt like the hundredth time. You finally sighed, lifting the phone. You knew without even looking at the name it was from him.

You canceled the wedding? It doesn't have to be like this. I still love you, Y/n. You were so busy with work and all the planning. You abandon me. Whenever I wanted your attention, you were always too tired to pay any attention to me.

It's like the girl I fell in love with was gone. Some time ago, you couldn’t keep your hands off of me now it’s like I have to beg you to touch me.

You're being selfish.

You can't be THAT mad, Y/n. I’m a man. I have needs. You were busy and she was willing to help. We can fix this. Don’t give up 3 years. Don’t give up on me.

There were loads more, but you could not care to bother reading the rest. You tossed your phone back down on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face. You didn't owe him anything, not even a response. The girl he was talking about was not gone. She was only on hold to plan a wedding by herself and it was more stressful than he knew. You wanted to forget everything that had happened. You wanted to forget you wasted 3 years of your life planning on growing old with this man.

You weren't sure how you had got this far and with that being said, May wasn't either. You had talked May into joining you to a night out at a club. She needed a night to herself and you needed a break from everything. Along with that, if you had stayed inside that house a moment longer, you might have gone insane.

"You're going to be hammered if you keep on like that." May reminded with a laugh, both of you clinging onto the bar and each other for the extra support. You thanked the bartender as he pushed your last round of shot glasses in front of the two of you.

You smiled, passing a glass to May before keeping one for yourself.

"We can only hope." You winked at the bartender who only chuckled before clinking your shot glass with hers and downing your shot.

Your throat was already numb from all the alcohol you had already numbed it with. May wasn't far behind you. You took your final shot, grinning and pulling May along with you to the dancefloor to get lost in the sea of people. You threw your arms around May's, moving your hips as you both danced to the music.

This was the therapy you needed. Sometimes you had longed for nights like this. You had freedom. You had no worries, aside from worrying who you might wake up beside. But you had fallen in love and even though you had grown up, you had not nearly grown out of this lifestyle. It was all too familiar.

"Hey! I'm going to the bathroom! I'll be back!" May moved closer to you, raising her voice to be heard over the loud music. You nodded, watching her pushing her way through the crowd of people to get to the ladies' bathroom before easing yourself back into your dancing.

You swayed, grinding your hips with the rest of the crowd. You weren't the slightest bit bothered to be dancing by yourself. You used to lose yourself on the dancefloor for hours days after days years ago.

"I've missed this." You heard a familiar voice speak from behind you, startling you when their hands landed on your hips with your sway. They pulled you back against them, catching you off guard. "I've missed you." He mumbled in your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You peaked over your shoulder to make sure your mind was not playing tricks on you. It wasn't. You prayed it was an old one-night stand, but of course, it was the one person you were trying to get away from.

"It doesn't work like that, Chris." You dropped your hands down to his on your hips, trying to push them off your hips but they only hold you tighter. "Get- get off of me." You gritted through your teeth as your eyes glared at him. "Get off!" You raised your voice.

"Now, now, let's not cause a scene. You've had quite a bit to drink haven't you?" He wrapped your arms around your figure, making your blood run cold as his body pressed to yours.

"That's none of your business."

"I'm your fiance. You are my business."

"Ex." You corrected him. His nose flared slightly.

"You really want to go there? You're nothing without me. You're shit-faced in the middle of the club and you can't even accept my help?" He growled and you pushed on his arms.

"I don't need your help."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you need." He spat.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted your argument. "I think I've got it from here." You looked up to put a face to the voice, your eyes widening slightly.

"And you are?" Chris didn't budge while staring down Peter as if challenging him.

Peter was reaching his hand out for yours. "Her boyfriend." You stared up at Peter in shock at how much he had changed over the years and he smiled reassuringly.

Chris stiffed slightly and you could feel his eyes burning a hole into you. "Is that true?"

You didn't take your eyes off of Peter, taking a hold of his hand and letting him pull you out of Chris's arms. "Yes." Your voice was hushed.

Chris scowled. "Wow. I wish you luck there, man. She's a real catch." He laughed, making you look down. You couldn't believe he was really trying to ruin your night when he had already ruined everything else.

Peter only snaked his arm around your waist, letting his hand settle on your hip while his eyes never left Chris's. "She certainly is." He agreed. He gave your body a warm squeeze, grabbing you closer into his embrace. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

With that, he guided you through the crowd off of the dance floor.

"You okay?" He finally broke the silence once he got you back to the bar, sitting you down on one of the stools.

You nodded, letting your eyes wander up to him as he motioned the bartender over. "I'm just curious as to why you're here right now. Aren't you supposed to be in college?"

He smiled as he pulled out his wallet to pay your tab and you grabbed his hand, shaking your head. "No, no. I can pay for my own."

"What if I insist?"

"You don't have to, honestly. I have money."

You started to reach into your purse for some cash but Peter covered your hand, giving you another reassuring smile.

"You'll have plenty of other times to pay. I'll get it this time." He reminded you and you sighed in defeat, giving him a playful scowl. He only grinned, proceeding to pull some cash from his wallet to give to the bartender.

"You didn't answer my question." You continued as he turned back to you.

"I'm still college. I just sometimes stay with Aunt May on the weekends."

"And you just so happened to be here?"

Peter chuckled, pointing in May's direction as she stumbled over her feet returning back to the two of us. "Aunt May called."

You raised your eyebrow, looking over at May as she stood beside you now. "You called Peter?"

"Someone has to get you back home." She reminded you and you hit her arm slightly, tilting your head.

"May, I could have got a taxi or an uber. You didn't have to call him for me." You scowled at her and she shook her head in a tsking manner.

"No, no, no. I called Peter so I can rest assured you got home safely and not by some random stranger."

You rolled your eyes slightly and Peter butted in with an awkward chuckle. "I really don't mind. I don't consider this anything out of the way. I'd rather it be me than some stranger or someone." He noticed him giving the floor a swift scan around the three of you.

"Fine." You pouted your bottom lip slightly before rising from your seat at the bar. "You guys make me feel irresponsible or something." You grabbed a hold of May's arm and pulling her with you to the exit of the club while Peter followed behind the two of you.

"Are you coming?" You muttered over to May and she shook her head.

"Happy is here." Just as the words left her mouth when you started out the door, you spotted Happy parked in front of the building to pick up May. "Peter isn't too bad of a driver." You stopped in front of Happy's car.

"Oh goody, rest secured." You muttered and she laughed. Your arms looped around May's neck, hugging her tight. "I'm so glad to have you back. Message me when you get home." You told her and Happy a quick goodnight before letting her go.

Peter led you over to his car, unlocking the car and opening the passenger side for you. You settled comfortably in the front seat, leaning your head back against the headrest. You didn't like how it felt as if you couldn't take care of yourself, but you were in no position to complain when Peter Parker had yet again saved the day.

Peter glanced over at you in the passenger seat from time to time as he drove the distance to your apartment. He tried to keep the glances quick to keep you from noticing. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. It had been years since he had actually seen you, but you seemed like the Y/n he still remembered. Not that it was anything bad. He adored you then, and now a bit more.

He had always had the hots for you for as long as you remembered. Of course, you never minded when you ended up staying with him and Aunt May. You were always kind to Peter and he did his best to nurse you back to health to take on the hangover that awaited you the next morning.

He had never forgotten what you said to him one day while you were sick from the night before. You had been clinging onto the toilet and he had taken the opportunity to hold your hair back out of your face to keep from getting anything in it.

You sighed as he rubbed your back in soothing circles. You leaned against the toilet miserably. That was the day you learned to stay away from tequila.

"I hope I meet a guy at least half as amazing as you someday, Peter."

No doubt did the compliment find its way to his cheeks. He blushed a deep shade of red. He tried to restrain himself from making a big deal but it was a big deal to him. Though he knew he didn't stand a chance right now with his age, it meant if he had been of age, he had a chance. He thought about it even when you had stopped coming around so much. He knew this was all a coping method for you. You were hurting then and he could tell by the way you seemed toward the guy back there that there was more to that counter.

He noticed your shiver as you stared out the window. You mentally cursed yourself for wearing something this revealing. You rubbed your arms to try to warm yourself a little. Peter reached behind him in the back seat to retrieve a hoodie of his he always forgot in the car and handing it to you.

"Here." He offered before fumbling with the heat in the car. He smiled at your quiet thank you, putting your arms in the hoodie and pulling it close for warmth with putting it all the way on. He tried to control the big grin threatening to break across his face.

"I'm sorry you had to keep seeing me like this." You looked over at Peter as he kept his eyes on the road. He didn't realize how thankful you were for him in times like this. It was embarrassing how many times this had happened but you were still thankful Peter didn't think any less of you.

"You really don’t have to apologize.” He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the road.

“I really do though. I feel like you’ve taken care of me enough. I’m grown, you know? It should be the other way around.” You giggled and Peter glanced over at you.

“I’m 21.” He reminded you.

“And I’m pushing 30.”

“You’re 28. You’re still young.” He chuckled.

“Almost 29!” You huffed as he pulled into the parking lot to your apartment. “My point is- you know what my point is.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at your frustration. Your age didn’t matter to him. He could always settle for his MJ, his best friend, but seeing you tonight relit the flame to his crush for you. There was just something about you.

He parked the car in the parking lot, walking around to your side to open the door for you. You slid your arms out of his hoodie and leaving it in the seat as he helped you out of the car. You could feel the shots hitting you all at once when you stood. You stumbled out in your heels, grabbing onto Peter’s arms for support.

“Easy now.” He held onto your waist as he guided you to your apartment, asking for your keys. He took your keys when you dug them out of your pocket, letting you in your apartment.

You couldn’t help but notice all the little things he did for you. You kicked off your heels at the door, stumbling over your own two feet again as you wandered down the hallway to your bedroom. You could hear Peter in the kitchen getting you a bottle of water from the fridge along with some medicine from the medicine cabinet.

You sat on the bed when you hear his footsteps coming down the hallway toward the bedroom. You looked up at him, pouting your bottom lip out slightly when you saw him with a bottle of water and medicine for the headache to come.

He set them down on your nightstand, noticing your pout. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Peter, you’re seriously too good to me.” You sighed.

“How’s that?” He looked down at you as he towered over you.

You motioned over to the stuff he had placed on your nightstand and frowning. “All of this. You- you really didn’t have to do this for me.”

“You’re right I don’t. But I want to. I would want it done for me if I were ever in your shoes.”

You laughed slightly at the thought of Peter drunk and you smiled to yourself. “I would definitely be there anytime you needed me.”

You thought back to all the time you had ever been drunk, remembering all the time you woke up to water and medicine from him. Only from him. Even a trash can in case you were to ever get sick, but you never got that with Chris. You always took care of him, but no one ever took care of you. You shook your head with a frown. You had tried so hard to hold it together, but it felt like you were slowly falling apart. He wasn't worth your tears, yet he was always the cause of them.

He kneeled down in front of you, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Talk to me. Everything okay?”

You couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “Why am I never enough?”

His eyes widened at your words. “You are more than enough and anyone who doesn’t see that, who doesn’t appreciate you and the things you do for them doesn’t deserve you.” He corrected you, his thumb stroked over your jaw as he held your face to keep your attention.

You didn't know what to say. All you could do was stare. Your eyes scanned over his face before stopping at his lips. Don't. Don't you do it. You mentally told yourself. You couldn't control the effect the alcohol had on your mind and your actions. You tried to fight back the urge but the alcohol only pushed down the buriers you had built.

Your lips smashed against his firmly, catching him by surprise. He was frozen about your lips for a first, in shock, this was actually happening but he surely gave in the kiss. Your hands grabbed at the back of his neck and pulling him onto the bed with you without breaking the hungry desperate kiss. His body hovered over yours as your fingers curled against his shirt, gripping on it. You knew it was wrong. It was so wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

Your smaller hands slid underneath his shirt, brushing your hands over his defined abs. He was sculpted by a God. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't find it in him to stop. He didn't want to miss his chance to prove himself to you. He wanted to take care of you.

Your lips parted for air even though you left like you could hardly catch your breath when his lips started to kiss down your neck. Your hands tugged on his shirt until you started to pull it up and over your head.

His hands pushed your tight dress up the curves of your body, tossing it beside the bed once he peeled it from your body. Your lips still tingled from the loss of his and you whined quietly, your hand grasped the curls at the nape of his neck to bring his lips back to yours.

He kissed your lips passionately and letting your lips mold together. He could taste the alcohol on your tongue but it didn't bother him any. He had dreamed of this moment since he was a teen. Your fingers worked desperately to undo his jeans, feeling his bulge already through his pants before your hands pushed his pants off of his hips along with your boxers.

You were so desperate. You couldn't stop the whine that escaped against his lips. "Peter, please..." His cock twitched at the sound of his name falling from your lips.

He dragged your panties down your legs swiftly, placing himself back between them when he spread them open again. He peppered light kisses to your lips as he dragged the tip of precum-coated tip through your folds, not wasting any time to give you what you wanted.

You cried out as you clung to Peter's bareback, feeling his cock stretching you in all the ways you craved. You moaned out, letting him swallow them in a kiss as his hips rolled into yours again and again. He sighed in pleasure against your lips as your walls invited him in. You were even better than he could have imagined.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening. His lips covered your body in his kisses, admiring every part of your body as it sang for him. This was nothing like what you used to. He pressed small kisses against your bottom lip, nibbling on it as your core ached with a building climax. Your legs wrapped around his hips, causing you to gasp at the deeper strokes.

Your head fell back against the pillows, a loud moan drawing from your parted lips. Your fingers held onto Peter's hair as he hit that spot over and over, making your eyes roll slightly. You needed so badly for him to stop, but you couldn't bring the words to the surface.

"Oh my god..." Your core tightened with every deep thrust. His cock touched parts of you no guy had ever. You had never felt a climax so fast or so strong. "Please don't stop..." You couldn't fight the words from coming out. Your grip tightened on his dark hair, feeling yourself falling apart with an orgasm with every thrust.

"You're so pretty when you cum." He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He was not far behind you by the way your walls sucked him in, milking him for all he was worth.

"Do it again. I want to make you cum again." He groaned against your chest as his tongue dragged over your hardened nipple, flicking his tongue against it teasingly before letting out a groan against your warm skin. He didn't want it to stop. He didn't want it to end. "You feel so good, Y/n..."

His hand reached between the two of you, rolling his fingers over your clit in circles. You gripped onto his wrist at the overpowering feeling. You were soaked to the core. This man made you crumble.

"I-I'm gonna cum.." His voice cracked slightly as your walls clenched around him tight In your second orgasm, pushing him over the edge into his first. His cum filled you full, marking you as he pressed delicate kisses across your neck while praising you in the process. "So beautiful, so perfect."

Your eyes were heavy with exhaustion, smiling to yourself when Peter laid down on the bed behind you. He wrapped an arm around your body, pulling you back against his chest.

It only took a matter of seconds for sleep to claim you as Peter pulled a blanket over the both of you tiredly. It was only a matter of time before the morning came to rain on your parade. Bringing along the guilt and regret that followed.

#dark!peter parker #dark!peter x reader #dark!marvel #tom holland fan fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker #dub con #peter parker one shot #dark!tom holland

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doubledgesword-2 · 4 years ago

Note

Hello lovely! How pe you’re having a nice weekend!💕

I saw that your requests are open and I was wondering if I could request a head cannon or Drabble of adult trip with a blind darling??

Hope you have a nice day!💕✨

Aww yeeesh! I did have a lovely day and a nice weekend, thank you so much! Here's your nice cup of Rose tea hon, enjoy it!

WARNING TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF AND A LIL BIT OF OOC! ENJOY!

Chrollo

Whether you were born like this or you had an accident that took your sight, it doesn't matter; Chrollo would do everything for you.

And when I say everything, I mean every little thing, from guiding you around the room to bathing you or showering with you to help.

"Chrollo, I can do it; you don't have to worry" you chuckle nervously as his hand gently scrub your arm; you feel his fingers gently rub the soap on your shoulder, and you're hoping he can't see you blush.

"Hush, dear, and let me love you" he kisses your shoulder, and you shudder at the feeling of his warm lips against your skin.

When you casually ask how the clouds look like or what color is the ocean, or what color are the trees this time of the year, his eyes tear up a bit. He looks at you with a drunk love look and a warm smile.

You're so perfect for him, because him being a romantic, this is the perfect time to be poetic.

He will find an object that's very soft and very fluffy in texture; his hand will take yours and slowly drag it through the material so you can feel every single fiber of it.

"That's how clouds are like, love. This time of year, the trees are red, and that's like cinnamon, and the ocean is blue, and aqua and those are like salty blueberries."

"Ewww!" You laughed, and he chuckled, still holding your hand in his. This moment was a real treasure for him.

"May I see how You look like?" He immediately tears up. This boi is low key the most sentimental in situations like these ones. He can't help but be overwhelmed. Sure he's a thief, but he's a humble one, albeit unfair on occasions but never with you.

Chrollo takes your hands and places them on his cheek. Your fingers feel so soft on his skin, almost like you're afraid to damage him. They glide over his nose, feeling how it arches, over his eyebrows and his eyelids.

Then they pass over the cross on his forehead into his hair, caressing it until your arms are looped around his neck and you hug him close, your ear on his chest listening to his racing heartbeat.

"You have a strong heart" You can't see how his cheeks are tinted pink or how his breathing has picked up because, dammit, you're amazing at getting these kinds of reactions out of him.

He will read to you, even though you have learned Braille. He wants you to be drunk on his voice and the passionate way he makes the story's impressions.

No one, and I mean no one, is allowed to begin a demeaning sentence towards you or some comment about your blindness that makes you uncomfortable. He will shut them up with one look and the flare of his aura.

When you guys go out, he insists on guiding you even though sometimes you have held him back before a car could run him over because he was too focused on taking care of you. He didn't see the vehicle coming. Ironic.

"That was a close one, don't you think?" He kissed the crown of your head, holding you close as the two of you kept walking to your destination. "Now, do you believe I can take care of myself?"

"We'll see," he chuckles.

Illumi

Your encounter with Illumi is always a tale to tell.

You see, you were at a coffee shop, drinking your favorite drink and eating a nice treat/pastry when he passed you by dropping one of his pins in the process. He had been so tired and beat that he didn't even notice. First one right there.

"Excuse me, sir," You bend over and felt for the big round top of the pin until your fingers grasped it and held it tight, minding the other pointy side. "You dropped this" Illumi doesn't say anything in acknowledgment. He simply extends his hand to you.

But you are not giving him the pin, and this annoys him so much. Then his eyes look up to yours. They are blueish but glazed over and almost white. You're blind. Illumi reaches for your hand, startling you for a quick second, but he picks the pin and lets go.

"Is this seat taken?" He asks suddenly, and you smile towards his voice.

"Go right ahead."

That day Illumi was so intrigued by you that he couldn't help but stalk you a bit, you know, for research purposes in case he ever finds an opponent like you.

But it turns into so much more.

He meets you every day he can, no matter where he goes with you. He makes no effort to help you, though, and don't expect him to do so. He appreciates you too much, and in his mind, you're like a wild cardinal, and if he were to help you, it's like putting you in a cage. Once he lets you free again, you won't know how to survive on your own.

He wants you free. He loves you free.

But that doesn't mean he won't be there for you or step in when circumstances are far too grave for you to handle.

"Llumi, how does the sky look today?"

"Gray. It's going to rain" his response makes you chuckle; you have never seen gray, but his honesty makes you smile. You outgrew your frustrations about this situation a long time ago.

"Can we stay to feel the rain? I want to smell the petrichor once it's over" Illumi looks at you with the same expression he gives everyone. He knows you might catch a cold standing in the rain; he doesn't understand why all you said would be relevant. But then he reminds himself, he has taken for granted all of these things because he can see them.

"Only a couple of minutes once its starts. If it gets bad, we'll go inside. You can smell the petrichor afterward" he holds your hand, and you two sit there on the park bench.

Illumi doesn't get cuddly or lovey-dovey with you. Still, he will allow himself moments where he can't help but admire you and be grateful for having you in his life. He will never say that. Ever. But he'll think it.

One time he entered your apartment and found you sitting on the rug in the living room, reading Braile.

"Illumi is so nice to hear you today. How was your day?" He's always impressed by your ability to sense him. When he asked once how you could recognize him if he was so quiet, you said you could feel his presence in the room since it was calming to you even when he tried to conceal himself. This melted his heart.

"What are you reading" He came to sit on the sofa, his legs brushing your arms like a loving gesture. Your hand grabbed his leg, squeezing him in recognition, and then went back to the book.

"Would you like me to read it to you?"

"Yes," It was a lovely evening that day.

Just like Chrollo, he's very protective of you since his line work makes him kind of famous, some people are bound to have seen you and try to get to you to get to him, and this is where Illumi draws the line.

Rest assured, no one will touch a single hair on your head if he has his way. The beginning of his bloodlust alone is enough to make everyone panic and turn away.

"Illumi, hon is alright, I'm here, I'm right here. Look at me" you would open the curtain of his luscious hair to hold his face and make him look at you. "I'm fine, see?"

"They are not worth it," he says after holding you close to him. He'll kill them later.

Hisoka

This little shit will always be a little shit, in this case, a loving and understanding one, but still, the point remains.

You bumped into him on the streets, and the minute it happened, it annoyed him so much. He was in the process of turning and giving you your dues when he noticed you had actually stopped and been grabbing his wrist.

"I apologize, I'm so sorry" you're not looking at him, and that annoys him even further.

That's until he notices your vacant look and your body language. You may not be looking at him, but your whole body is poised to listen. Listen to him.

"Are you blind?" He blurts out but not really; his smirk says it was intentional.

"All my life, sir," you chuckle, letting his wrist go and leaning a bit on your white cane.

This makes him giggle, and he invites you for a coffee if you're available.

The rest after that marks your relationship.

Hisoka behaves like a child whenever he's around you. He hides his presence to try and scare you, but you can always sense him. You can even imagine him pouting as you find him and poke him with your cane.

"Not fair, little fruit."

"You smell like bubble gum, hon," you chuckle, bringing him down to kiss his cheek.

He holds you close and loves when you let yourself go and depend on him a little.

Lke him cooking for you, doing some chores around the house (He doesn't have to, and you tell him that, but he just says you'll have to reward him later), and the two of you baking together—with him covering you in flour as much as he can without you noticing.

"Soka, I know my cheeks and forehead are white; you are a terrible boyfriend, love."

"Mmmmm, so mean, (Y/N)-chan" He kissed you as he puts more flour on your nose.

Hisoka knows he has to leave for extended periods since he can't stay put in one place plus his job. But will always call you and answer your phone calls no matter if he's fighting with someone at the moment.

"My precious darling, I *grunts* I'm in the middle of breaking someone's arm at the moment *huffs* can I call you later, love?" You cringe at the sound of the bone-breaking over the phone but chuckle slightly at his antics.

"Yes, you can, Be safe" oh, oh, oh he loves your concern for him. It just makes him moan obscenely in the middle of the fight, making his opponent disgruntled and allowing him to finish them off.

"On second thought, dear, we can talk right now. I'm currently free."

He will bring you stuff from his travels and jobs, all with different textures and pleasant smells so you can experience them.

Now this, this is the moment of truth. While you're distracted touching everything he brought, he takes away his texture surprise. Suddenly he lifts your hand to touch his hair, then his face and arms.

"How does this one feels, mmm?" He hides the fact that he's nervous by being playful, but you can feel him being stiff.

"It feels soft," then your fingers gingerly brush a big scar over his chest "it feels like no matter what, I love you. Like you can trust me with each one of these"

He won't admit it, but it's nice that you can't tease him for his blushing cheeks and aghast expression. But he chuckles to alleviate the lump in his throat as he takes your hands in his and pulls you in for a hug.

When the two of you go out, he's always holding your hand, or you're holding his arm. He has convinced you to not use your white cane while walking with him. He'll be your eyes.

The moment someone bumps into you…

"Hey, watch where you're going, woman!"

"Oh, so, so sorry, sir," you apologize, and Hisoka is smiling at the man.

"Yeah, you better be"

"Little fruit, do you want to know how fluttering butterflies feel?" As he says so, your face is tickled by a lot of fluttering little wings, and the experience mutes the man's screaming as he Hisoka gently drags you away.

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anonquack · 4 years ago

Text

| History |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 5047

Warnings: None! Just some curse words.

Summary: Breakups hurt. Confrontations hurt. Separation hurts. But when it feels like all is ending, you and Alex always find a way to make things work. [Angst -> Fluff]

After a loud plop of a box against the floor, you brought your hand up to wipe away the sweat that was now resting on your forehead. Yuck.

In an effort to avoid letting your thoughts take over and throw you into a spiral of regret and sadness, you had been cleaning and reorganizing your room. You took this moment to look around, eyes scouting every inch of the room in search for something you could've possibly missed.

The room looked almost spotless at this point. The box you had just plopped down onto the floor contained a lot of the stuff you planned on throwing away. Everything else had been dusted, thoroughly cleaned and placed back where it belonged. Looking at your organized, comfy, bed made you realize just how tired you felt at this very moment.

But there was no time to rest. Rest meant time to think about what had happened. Time to think about what had been lost.

You let out a small sigh as you walked over to the untouched part of your room; the closet. This part didn't necessarily have to be organized, since no one would come into the room and specifically open up the closet. But at this very moment, your brain was telling you to clean EVERYTHING in this room.

As soon as you opened the door to the closet, your eyes landed on an item you did not want to see right now. As your eyes continued to roam across all the clothes on the hangers, it started to dawn on you that this might've been a bad idea. Maybe cleaning closets really wasn't necessary.

There were multiple of Alex's hoodies on the hangers, all looking as comfy and cozy as ever, but at this moment they didn't bring that comfort and happiness they usually would. Rather, they brought back all those painful thoughts you'd been trying to avoid.

You gently bit at your lip, slightly frustrated since you'd been 'doing well', cleaning and trying your hardest not to let your thoughts roam.

Your stubbornness to not rest and keep cleaning had been your own demise.

You weren't really sure what to do. Part of you wanted to take one of the hoodies off its hanger, put it on, and crawl into bed. The rational part of you knew you should probably return these to him. You had no business having these in your room anymore.

That thought alone made your stomach twist and turn. It really was over. These past few days had felt like an absolute nightmare, but at the end of the day it was reality. You and Alex had actually broken up. It was all history now.

You reached into the closet, grabbing all the hoodies and placing them onto the chair near your bed. They were a problem for another time. The closet was going to be your distraction for now. You'd avoid facing reality for just a little longer as you organized the shirts and sweaters in your closet.

—

It sucked. Not having anything to do, having nothing to serve as a distraction from the fact that Alex would no longer be a part of your life. You were now sitting on your bed, playing with the strings on the hoodie, remembering how these looked on him.

They fit him so well, some fit loosely against his figure, others fit just right, showing off his toned figure. You vividly remembered how the material of the hoodie had felt whenever he wrapped his arms around you, whenever you would hug him and just snuggle your face close to him, looking for a source of heat.

The memories of how you acquired these hoodies also came flooding back. Some had been him noticing it was cold out and you lacking common sense to bring a sweater to keep yourself warm. Him pulling off the hoodie and handing it to you, the way his cheeks turned red as you thanked him, his eyes narrowing and telling you it wasn't that big of a deal.

Other times you'd directly ask to borrow his hoodie. One that smelled like him just in case he couldn't visit or hang out in the near future and you were in dying need of his affection.

You wondered whether these hoodies might still smell like him. As weird as it might've looked, you were now on your bed, bringing the hoodies up to your face and holding it close, snuggling your ex's damn hoodie to see if it still smelled like him. It was so fucking stupid. It was over.

You set the hoodie down as you felt your eyes water. Not because of sadness, but irritation towards yourself. You'd already spent days crying your eyes out over the breakup, and yet here you were again. There had been progress made already, and now it felt like you were back in square one just because of some fucking hoodies. Cloth.

You gently pinched the bridge of your nose as you took a moment to recollect your thoughts. You'd return the hoodies, and be done with him once and for all.

Picking up your phone and pressing onto his contact, your message history flashed onto the screen. Old messages were spilling all over, making a mess of you all over again. Not what you wanted at all. You'd wanted to delete his contact number and erase the messages, but hadn't been able to bring yourself to do it.

And now, once again, you were dealing with the consequences of being unable to let go. You tried to ignore the old conversations that were on display, instead pulling up the keyboard and typing up a civil message to send.

y/n found some of your hoodies at my place. mind if i give them back?

You felt an uncomfortable feeling settle in your stomach as you waited for the message to deliver, waited for any sign that he might've read it. Waited to see if he would even answer. Maybe he didn't want them back. Maybe part of you hoped you'd at least get to keep something of his, something that made your relationship with him feel real. Made it feel like it indeed happened and wasn't just a part of your imagination. Part of you didn't want it to officially come to an end.

Giving away the last thing of his you had meant officially putting an end to this. Whatever the fuck you had with him. You hadn't even noticed you were biting at your nails until the loud ding brought you back into present time.

alex sounds good. where would you want to meet?

It was starting to feel real. The split was at hand's length away. Meeting him to hand the hoodies over solidified the end.

y/n maybe the library? its near both of our dorms.

alex alright. see you in 20?

y/n yea.

Such simple discourse was already eating at you. This wasn't him. But that was to be expected. You weren't his anymore and he wasn't yours. Nothing would ever be how it was.

Even with that realization, you still looked at yourself in the mirror, checking to see if there was any signs that you'd been crying, or just you looking like shit overall. A few glances and strokes to the hair and you were ready to go, the small stack of hoodies resting on your arm as you walked out of your dorm room. To officially end things.

—

As you walked towards the library, you noticed it was rather quiet. Nobody was out and about at this time, it was peaceful. It gave you a moment to really reflect on all that had taken place. What had lead to you being here, on your way to officially cut all ties with Alex.

It had been a misunderstanding, really. Something that was going to happen eventually. Being college students with different majors and goals was challenging enough. But balancing the giant workloads and quality time with your partner had proven to be difficult for him, and perhaps even you too. There was effort being made in the beginning, but recently it had just not been the same. Perhaps things change, feelings change, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt.

After a few confrontations and harsh arguments, he had stated that he didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that attention was required of him this often. He admitted it felt like a chore recently, having all his school work and also having you to deal with, especially when you got confrontational.

It had been heartbreaking hearing him say that you were the reason for his recent headaches and that he no longer was enjoying the aspect of a relationship. He wanted space, he wanted to have a moment where he could do absolutely nothing. Not have to worry about another individual's feelings. It was valid, and you had agreed that it would be best if you two just broke up. Clearly if you two weren't going to be happy, it was better to just end it.

You really couldn't blame or hate him. He was studying law, and you could only imagine how stressful and difficult it must be. And to have to worry about a relationship on top of that must've been hellish.

You couldn't shake off the memories though, all the great parts of your relationship. You struggled too. You had homework too, but he was the highlight of your college experience.

Even if you were drowning in homework, you knew you could waltz into Alex's dorm and just cuddle with him for a bit. You knew he would walk into your room any second of the day just to declare you two were going to take a break from studying to go eat at this place he'd found near the university. He was the light that shined brightly and took you out of the holes you dug yourself into when you worked too hard and barely had time to take care of yourself.

You thought you had the same effects on him, but instead you were draining him of energy. The hangouts and time spent wasn't a nice break for him, it was a chore. It was something he felt obligated to do.

You shook the thoughts away as you noticed the library getting closer and closer. Once you got there, you walked in and headed to where you knew he might be waiting, or where he'd know to go if you were the first to arrive.

Fortunately for you, he still wasn't here, so you simply took a seat and looked around the library. You could feel the guilt settling in your stomach. Perhaps this felt like a chore as well, having to come all the way out here to meet with you, just to get some hoodies you could've dropped off at his dorm. 0 interaction needed.

The small bell rang, notifying everyone inside that the front door had been opened. This was it. He was here. You held your breath as you waited to see Alex, if it even was him who had just gotten here.

Surely, it was. He was wearing these black sweatpants, a white baggy shirt, and his beanie that neatly tucked away the strands of hair that would usually hide his facial features. He looked good, to say the least.

You watched as his eyes scanned the room, looking for you. Once his eyes finally met yours, you felt your breath hitch in anticipation as his brown eyes finally met yours for the first time in about a week or two. It was so nice seeing him again, it felt right, but this was most likely your last time meeting with him.

You watched as he walked over to you, a small, polite smile on your lips as he came closer and closer. Once he was finally standing in front of you, a small, "Hi-" slipped out, which you instantly regretted. It sounded so pathetic.

"Hi." He replied calmly as he took the seat across from where you had been sitting.

He actually sat down. This meant he was planning on sticking around for a bit, right? If he wanted to leave right away, he would've stood, extended his hand out to show that he wanted you to hand him the hoodies. But here he was now, sitting in the chair across from you.

Usually when you two came to the library, he was seated beside you, arm wrapped around your waist as you two scanned a textbook of a shared electives class or both did your own studying. It was always so peaceful and actually allowed you to focus on what you were studying. His presence was so good for you, but it was recently made clear the feeling wasn't mutual.

Right.

You cleared your throat, not ready to hand over the hoodies just yet. "How have you been..?" You asked, trying to maintain a calm tone.

It might've been stupid to try and make conversation with him, but you were hanging on by a thread. You'd risk it, push your luck until the thread snapped and disintegrated in your own hands.

"I've been.. alright. You?" He hesitated to answer, and was currently avoiding eye contact, staring down at the table and then your hands that were placed on top of the hoodie stack.

"I've been okay. Big change to get used to." You admitted, a small chuckle escaping your lips. It was not a laughing matter at all, but you couldn't help it, especially since you were feeling rather nervous.

"It is a big change." He admitted as well, finally looking up to meet your gaze. The eye contact broke your heart. Usually looking into his brown eyes would heal any and every scar that may appear on your heart, patch up anything that may be breaking, but now it was these brown eyes that were killing you and breaking you apart.

It was now your turn to look away, settling your gaze on the strings of the hoodie, hands playing with them absent-mindedly.

The soft fabric against your finger tips reminded you why you were here in the first place, making you finally look up at him again. You were surprised to see that his gaze was already on you. Although your eyes widened slightly, you quickly brought them back to normal and cleared your throat, pushing the hoodies forward and towards him.

"Found these in my closet and figured you might want them back. They've been washed." You clarified towards the end as you watched him take hold of them.

And that's when it was official. They were now under his possession again, not yours. The hoodies were no longer yours, he was not yours. You could feel the lump forming in your throat at the thought, and figured it wasn't a good idea to be at this library for even a second longer.

You watched as he looked down at the hoodie stack that he was now holding. It seemed like there was something he wanted to say, yet was clearly holding back. It was a horrible sight to see. You knew you'd be thinking about this gaze, the words his eyes screamed, the words he failed to verbally say now. It would eat at you during late nights in the near future.

—

Now that the hoodies were in his hands, he realized just how real the breakup was. He hadn't been doing too well himself, beating himself up for reacting that way, for lashing out on you that way. For saying things he hadn't meant, and had only said because he was stressed out and in serious need of space. That was all it was.

And now here he was, sat in front of his ex, receiving the hoodies he had gladly gave them. He remembered when he handed each of these, what the occasion was and how cute you'd looked once you'd put it on. The pride that had filled his chest at the sight of you in his hoodie. How lovesick he'd felt whenever you came to his dorm with his hoodie on, when you wore it out in public and let everyone know that you were indeed taken. By Alex himself.

And now here he was. You couldn't even look at him for a few seconds without having to tear your eyes away. He wondered if you had cried just as much as he had, if you had blamed yourself or called yourself clingy, annoying, the worst of the worst because of the horrible things he had said to you. All things which he greatly regrets now.

When he had walked into the library, he'd spotted you almost instantly, sat at the table where you two would usually study, looking as cozy as ever. If he hadn't fucked up so badly, he would've walked over, wrapped his arms around you and left the softest kiss on your lips, maybe one on your jaw as well as he mumbled "hi baby," against your skin. The laugh that might've escaped your lips at his words and actions, the fact that he can't experience that anymore because he fucked up. It was killing him.

He knew that any second now, you'd stand up and walk out of his life permanently, and there'd be nothing for him to do about it. He'd already caused enough damage with the bullshit he had spewed just a week ago. He couldn't ask anything of you. Not a second chance, not a moment of your time so he could explain that he didn't want to lose you. That he had just been stressed and taken it out on you, tried to blame it all on one person rather than just taking a step back and thinking things through. Admit that he had fucked up. It would be extremely selfish of him to fuck up in the way that he did and then ask for you to forgive him. He just couldn't do it.

He wondered if you could tell how awful he'd been doing. Was it obvious that he hadn't slept? Too busy replaying the scene where he had broken your heart over and over again as he lay in bed, avoiding any and all responsibilities. When you'd reached out to him, he had been laying in bed, quickly getting out and trying to look as composed and not like he'd been feeling like absolute shit this whole past week.

But now he was sitting across from you and the hoodies were in his hands. The exchange had been successful and there was now no business for you to be here. Any second now, you'd stand up and leave him here. For real this time. He wouldn't get to see the way you smiled with your eyes, wouldn't be able to hear nor cause your wonderful laugh. Wouldn't be able to hold you close whenever he pleased, wouldn't be able to kiss you as many times as he wanted. Wouldn't be able to whisper secrets to you as you two lay in bed at 3 in the morning.

No. He had lost those privileges a week ago, as soon as those horrible words left his mouth.

The sound of you clearing your throat brought him back to his senses, along with the sound of the chair scraping against the floor. He quickly looked up, catching the words that were slipping past your lips.

"Well, now that you have your hoodies, I should probably head back to my dorm now." You said softly, an awkward smile on your lips. It was clear you weren't necessarily sure how to say goodbye. He wasn't either.

His thoughts were racing at a million miles per hour in his poor brain, your moves were almost in slow motion in front of him as he panicked and tried to figure out what to do for you to stay.

No matter how many times he had lied to himself and told himself that he would be fine with you finally walking out of his life, it was exactly that. A lie. He wasn't ready. He wouldn't ever be ready to lose such a wonderful person that had walked in and changed his life for the better. Not at least without explaining himself. Asking for a second chance, as selfish as that might've been.

As he stood to his feet, the loud scraping of the chair against the floor caught everyone around you two off guard, especially you as you almost bumped into his chest as he suddenly blocked the path with his body.

"Y/N." He said, almost breathless. Your eyes were wide in confusion at the new barricade that stood between you and the door.

"I-I'm sorry." He finally said. Even if it was just two words, he already felt much better. He wanted you to know, to know that he was indeed sorry for ever saying such horrible things to you.

The shock in your face was evident, your mouth opening and closing slightly, truly at a loss for words. He took this as a sign to continue.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you that day. They really weren't true. I was just– so stressed and I needed to take that out on someone. And you questioning me and asking why I'd grown distant just pushed me over the edge and I snapped at you. But I didn't mean a single word I said. I love you so much, Y/N. I couldn't fucking live with myself this past week, it's been eating me alive, the fact that I said those horrible things to you. You that could never do harm, you that has helped me so much throughout the years I've known you, whether it be as a friend or as my lover." He paused, it was so clear he was suffering from a severe case of word vomit, and people were staring now.

Your eyes had softened slightly as you listened to his word vomit, but you were cautious, it was evident to him. Your stance said it all. You looked around for a bit before letting out a small sigh.

"Not here, Alex. This is a library. Why don't we go talk somewhere else?" You offered softly, gaze way softer now, almost as if you were being cautious of the state he was currently in, scared he'd fall apart any second now. He silently nodded, leading the way out of the library with you quietly following behind him.

—

Your heart was beating rapidly against your ribcage, unable to truly process what the hell had just happened. Was that real? Did it really happen? Or was this a cruel joke, and soon you'd wake up on your bed, clutching one of his hoodies tightly to your chest.

You were walking behind him as he lead the way out of the library. You replayed the words in your head, unable to grasp that he had actually apologized.

You had gotten up to leave, saying your final goodbyes to him, and that was what lead him to crack. He had stood up quickly to block your path, and had began to spill his apologies, explaining how he's been a mess and feels horrible about the things he had said. He hadn't meant it. You weren't a bother. The relationship wasn't a chore. He perhaps still wanted you.

You had mixed feelings about all of this, especially considering the pain he'd put you through this entire week. But you also were obviously not ready to throw away a relationship that had lasted this long, and that had been going so well up until last week, when he presumably accidentally took it all out on you.

You were brought back to reality as he stopped walking and turned to look at you. He had lead you two to a coffee shop, one that you two frequently visited. Not for the coffee, but for the pastries and other drinks they sold, all quite delicious and a perfect breakfast for when you both were running late.

You looked at him as he opened the door for you to walk in. As you walked in, you were immediately hit with the smell of the freshly baked pastries. He then asked if you could sit while he ordered.

It didn't take long before he was back, with the usual orders you both got from here. It was touching, and probably an effort from him to patch things up. You thanked him for the drink and delicious smelling pastry before taking a small sip, awkwardly seated as you waited for him to speak again, attempt to explain himself further.

When he realized you were just waiting on him now, he cleared his throat. "Y/N, I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't make a scene or anything at the library. It was just, kind of a desperate last minute attempt to fix things between us."

Us. Us. It left a savory taste on your tongue. It felt right. Yes, Alex, us. You and I. That's how it's supposed to be.

You shook your head, "Nono. It's not that. It just- caught me off guard obviously, and well, I didn't want you to get in trouble for speaking a bit loudly, at the library."

He smiled, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the slight teasing tone at the end of your sentence. God, you had missed his laugh so much over the past week. It always managed to cheer you up no matter how bad things were.

"So uh, I'm sorry once again, Y/N. I know what I did was shitty, I've been beating myself up for it this entire past week. And even if you don't accept this apology and you want nothing to do with me after this, I just need you to know that I could never ever mean the things I said. You mean so much to me, and I just- I fucked up big time. You're not a chore at all. In fact, you make my life better, but it just took me so long to realize just how much you've positively changed my life. I'm so sorry for being distant. It's school, I promise. It's not because I don't love you anymore or anything. It's impossible for me to not love you, I hope you know that–" He paused to take a moment to breathe. He had just dumped all of this information onto them again. But he was just so scared that you'd up and leave any second now. He had to let it all out before it even came down to that.

"It- it was a bit of an overload, regarding information." You said once you realized he was waiting for a response. "It might take me a while to think about this. I mean, what you said really hurt me, Alex." You confessed, watching as his expression saddened, it was obvious he regret it. Everything he had said. "Don't get me wrong, I still love you, so so so much. Words cannot explain." You said, hand shyly reaching out to grab his. He responded almost instantly, fingers interlacing with your own. His hands were warm, against your own. You'd missed his warmth so much, and finally having it, even if just for a few seconds was sending you over the moon.

His grip on your hand was tight, but not tight where it hurt. It was tight, as if he was trying to prove to himself that you were real, that you were really insinuating that you'd give him a second chance. And honestly? Of course you would. This man meant the absolute world to you. And you understood where he was coming from, why he'd done what he did. It didn't take away the fact that it hurt, but you understood him, and would forgive him, eventually.

"I love you too." He said softly, gaze meeting yours as he smiled softly. "Take as much time as you need. I really am sorry, I'll never stop being sorry for the horrible shit I said. But no matter the outcome, I'll accept it."

His words meant the world to you. Even if you knew you'd accept his apology soon, it still meant so much that he just wanted you to know he meant what he was saying, even if you decided to leave forever.

"Thank you, Alex." You said with a small smile, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to tell yourself as well that this was real. You felt him squeeze your hand back gently as well, and smiled slightly bigger at the memory that he did this whenever he wanted to reassure you about something. You really did love this man.

The day had started off with attempts to forget the very man you were currently holding hands with, attempting to get rid of every trace he had in your life in attempts to heal, attempts to move on. But he had stopped it all. He had apologized, admitted to the horrible week he's had, admitted to his faults, and was willing to accept if you no longer wanted him in your life.

But how could you ever wish that in regards to Alex? The one that brought sunshine into your life, the one that made everything better just by being himself.

Things were going to get better from here on out. Alex apologizing and stopping either of you from leaving each other's lives was a clear sign of that. From now on, you wouldn't allow such atrocities to take place either. You two would work on this.

As you stared at Alex who sat across from you, you couldn't help but smile at the possibility of having him back. Having everything go back to normal. It was clear he was thinking the same, as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at you so brightly, almost bright enough to leave you sunburnt. Alex was sticking around, and so were you.

Maybe you wouldn't have to give the hoodies back after all.

#alex quackity #quackity #quackity x you #quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #gender neutral reader #quackity brainrot #quackity scenario #help pls #streamer #quackity headcannons #quackity imagines #breakup #but fluffy

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tamagochiie · 4 years ago

Note

Hi!! Could I request a hc for my man Levi Ackerman where he has been crushing on the reader for a while now but thinks he doesn’t really have a chance because she’s just so beautiful, kind and a little on the younger side. And he doesn’t really think that someone like her could ever be interested in someone like him. Then those toughts only get bigger as he sees how much time she spends with Jean or Eren or someone. And then some sort of drama is happening which eventually leads to this dramatic confession from both Levi and the reader. Hope that’s not too long? Have a great day!

First of all, I am SO sorry this request took so long to reply to. I was in a really bad headspace when I first got this, and I couldn’t write it properly at the time. But here I am now! Also, I got waaaay too into this, so I apologize that it’s a little long...

Move My Mountain ; Levi Ackerman

Levi Ackerman is nothing short of confidence and pride; insecurity scurries back into the shadows at the sight of him.

But you are sunshine and hope—all the good things in life wrapped in a lilting laugh, tucked in the corners of your lips when you smile, and the twinkling in your eyes;

Just the sight of you makes his title as “Humanity’s Strongest” fray at the edges and wither away, and it irritates him to no end.

Of all the ugly his eyes have seen and horror his ears have heard, its you that has him weak in the knees, you are a sharp contrast to the stoic man.

You’re young, youthful, and promising—all the things Levi is not.

Levi is many things, but worthy to feel the warmth you radiate as you walk into any room, a room that he might find himself lingering around in, is not one of them.

Levi may be sharp, attentive, and quick on his feet (quite literally). But it takes him an embarrassingly substantial amount of time to realize his feelings for you—that no, he does not hate you, but rather he finds himself completely smitten over you.

He realizes he always has been since the first time he saw you as a cadet. You weren’t entirely talented, and your skills were questionably underdeveloped, but you had heart and you were just as determined and fiery as your counterparts.

Levi looks forward to seeing you persevere during trainings; but he likes it better whenever you waltz into his office and assist him in paperwork he can clearly take care of on his own.

And you find yourself feeling comfortable around the Captain, entertaining him through small talk or sharing a few fun facts with him that always leave him dumbfounded.

Not that he’ll show it.

He’s quite kind to you, and though you found it off-putting at first, you had eventually grown comfortable to it. You even found yourself growing selfish, wanting more and more after each visit.

However, unbeknownst to everyone save for Erwin and Hange, Levi Ackerman is petty as he is incredibly violent.

There’s a twinge of jealousy in his chest and a twitch in his eye whenever he sees Jean joined to you by the hip. He’s aware of the history you two share, being childhood friends and choosing to join the Survey Corp together after the attack on Wall Rose.

But it doesn’t stop jealous seeping out of Levi like a waterfall.

He hates it when he catches Jean ghosting around you, dipping down to you a little too close for comfort whenever he talks to you, so Levi’s patience snaps like a twig and he crinkles his nose in disgust, steam rising from him when he watches Jean throwing his arm over your shoulders, pulling you close to his chest while you laugh at his jokes.

A line has been crossed.

Unfortunately for Jean, though his actions meant no harm, he’s drowned in piles and piles of work within the following week. Levi has him carrying extra weight, makes him run more laps to his knees shake, and riddles him with questionable work from dusk til dawn.

And just when things die down and the tide of Levi’s jealousy pulls back, it’ll come rushing back in when he catches Jean do another thing like leaning his head on your shoulder after a day’s worth of training. And it begins to bother you, picking at your skin until you can longer keep quiet and watch your friends suffer.

You’re in the middle of handing Jean your bottle of water (because Sasha chugged all of his in one breath) when Levi cuts in. Maybe it’s the heat of the sun that casts over the training ground, or maybe its the fact that once again, Levi’s jealous has once again gotten the best of him and he’s playing it off as frustration for the whole squad.

Whatever it is, there’s steam rising off as he glares at you and Jean.

Levi clears his throat, arms folded across his chest as he taps his foot, “If you have time to drinking other people’s water, Kristien,” Jean chokes on his water when he realizes Levi’s presence, quickly saluting him, “then you’ve got time to do laundry.”

Jean’s eyes widen, jaw slacking. “B-But I already did that yesterday, S-Sir.” You watch as Levi pulls his brows down, narrowing his gaze intensely as he strides up to Jean. He shifts uncomfortable under Levi’s inspecting eyes and clears his throat to try and gain some composure.

“That’s the great thing about laundry,” Levi grits, “it always piles up, so why don’t you hurry the fuck up and fuck off.”

However, Levi’s plan to wedge you to apart because you offer yourself to help.

You may be bubbly and full of life, and some may mistake your soft nature as someone naive and gullible, but you read the room easier than anyone. For the first time, Levi finds himself silenced; throat dried as if sawdust had been shoved into his throat, and he watches you saluting to him before excusing yourself along with Jean.

Unluckily for you, you become the target of his boiling rage. He’s ticking like a clock, the countdown to another outburst lingering in the air. It’s your turn to be buried in the extra weight of chores and responsibilities, doing more laps and push ups than you can manage. But you never complain, not even once.

Not until Levi strips you and Jean from the opportunity to go out on an expedition and traded off for laundry.

“I’ve had it!” You boom as you uncharacteristically lose composure, shoving the basket of dirty laundry to the side and causing Jean and Armin to flinch. “I’m gonna do laundry—laundry instead of joining the expedition? You’re kidding!”

Levi had overworked you painfully til your knees shook and your head felt dizzy, and at some point you wondered if was still training you or if it had any ulterior motive.

“I’m only the barer of the news!” Armin defends, visibly shrinking as you slowly grow unhinged.

“Then I’ll talk to him!” Jean steps in front of you, looking at you warningly as his chest heaves. “Jean, go away.”

“No,” He’s firm, headset in stopping you. “Make no mistake, the man is short, but he’s scary as hell. You saw him when he beat the shit outta Eren.”

“I can take a punch,” You state dryly, “now move.”

You place your arm on Jean’s shoulder, gripping it tightly before swiftly shoving him to the side, causing him to skid on the floor.

Determination drips from every step you take out the room and down the corridor. Your eyes directed towards one door and one door only. You wind past other captains and cadets, not bothering to even take a glance at them as you finally close in on Levi’s office.

You storm in, not even thinking to knock. You’re met with wide eyes and looks of disbelief from Erwin, Hange, and Levi; they were in the middle of a meeting when you barged in. Erwin’s jaw slacks, his brows pull down as he looks at you quizzically, “Cadet—What are you—”

“You.” You seethes, breathing heavily as you glare at Levi. “Why am I assigned to do laundry instead of joining the expedition?”

Hange and Erwin turn back to Levi with an alarmed expression painted on their face, as if they were only hearing this for the first time. “Surely, that’s not true,” Erwin chuckles lightly as he grips his hands on the armrest of the chair, shifting uncomfortably underneath the thick tension between you and Levi, “Levi, is this true?”

“It might be.” He answers dryly, a bored expression in his dark eyes as he glares back at you, “But I’m sorry, am I supposed to be answering to you? Who the fuck do you think you are interrupting a meeting?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Your new found confidence not only shocks them, but most importantly you.

You always kept yourself in your place, never needing to be reminded who you are and what you’re meant to do, always biting your tongue and cheek when you’re angry. You never caused any trouble, but always slyly getting your friends out of it.

That is, until now.

“Excuse me?” Levi looks at you in bewilderment.

“What the fuck does doing laundry have anything to do with saving humanity?” You repeated, balling your fists till your knuckles color white. “I’m one of the best and you know it, yet I’m wasting my time cleaning Reiner’s DIRTY UNDERWEAR EVERY DAY.”

“Bold of you to assume you’re one of the best.” Levi is cold as the first winter of the year, looking completely unfazed by flow of your emotions. But you are, indeed, one of the best, nearly surpassing Mikasa.

Not that he’d ever admit to it.

“Why am I staying behind?” You press, raising your voice as you take a few steps closer to the desk.

Unfortunately, Hange and Erwin stay in the crossfire of your argument. They’re unsure when to take the beat to get up and leave.

They worry they missed that opportunity a while ago.

“It’s dangerous and you’re not ready,” Levi clips.

“I’m ready and you’re just taking your anger out on me!” You counter, “You don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been taking your anger out on Jean and now on me?”

“You made us work to the bone, but we persevered. We pulled through. So, if I can handle Reiner’s sweaty laundry, then I can handle saving humanity. Grow a pair and let me back in on the expedition.”

“No.” Levi is stern, the grip in his pen is tight and his knees locked in as his ability to stabilize his emotions withers.

“Why not?” You groan, throwing your head back. “Because it’s dangerous.” He states matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“WHY DO YOU CARE IF ITS SO DANGEROUS?” You’re yelling, breaths labored and chest constricting as your frustration grows. You’re completely unhinged and with little to no care in the world how you look like to everyone in the room. Levi bangs his fists against the surface of his desk, swiftly standing from his chair. Erwin and Hange flinch at his sudden aggression, exchanging looks of surprise.

“BECAUSE IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU, I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT I WOUDL DO.”

Silence falls on the room and after a moment, everyone stands on their toes as they reflect the confession that slips Levi’s lips just moments ago.

You, Hange, and Erwin look at Levi wish a slack jaw and a puzzled expression.

“I don’t—“ You swallow thickly and take a deep breath, “I don’t understand what you mean… Why would you—”

“Hange,” Erwin calls out to his friend softly as he clasps his hands together, “I think this is the part where we leave.”

Hange pouts her lip begrudgingly, “But—“

“Now.” Against her will and her wishes for juicy gossip, Hange mirrors Erwin’s actions as he rises from the chair and a hunched position and swiftly scurries out the room.

You and Levi stand in a thick blanket of silence. Levi is a man of many words, though most are painted in aggressive and backs up his violent tendencies, so he admits his worries about someone and that someone being you, it means everything.

It comes as a shock—a shock that feels electric and runs down your spine, you feel like you’ll lose your breath. “Why…why would you care?” You come down from your anger and the thumping of your heart calms down. “I don’t—I really don’t understand….”

Levi licks his lips as he loosens his grip; for the first time you can see him clearly without having to second guess it. He shudders a breath as takes a step back from his desk, the chair scrapping against the floor as he abandons the paperwork and slowly yet surely walks to you.

You grow tense and the budding anticipation in your stomach spreads through your body and up your throat. It’s only until Levi is a few steps away that you finally tear your eyes from him, dancing around the room desperately looking anywhere but him.

Levi halts his movement, only within an arm’s reach away from you. “I’m not good with words,” He admits in a mutter, more to himself than to you, “but I—I would like to be honest because you make me want to be honest.”

Levi’s gaze wavers along with the rest of him; his arms fall limp , his hands clammy as he twiddles his fingers to ease the fear hammering in his chest. “I have…” Levi speaks softly, a sharp contrast to how he usually his. His voice comes out dry and gravelly as if he had just woken up.

“I can easily read others as if I was looking at the back of my hand, and I know when people feel things…But it took me forever to understand what I felt for you and when I finally caught up with it, I didn’t—I don’t know.”

Hesitantly, as if you were scared to see something contradicting his words, you meet his eyes and you gasp. He’s looking right at you, eyes full of certainty yet wavering in his doubt that he’ll ever get a chance with you.

“What do you mean?” Your words come out so quiet, Levi almost misses it. “What don’t you understand?”

“Out of all the things I’ve seen and heard, and all the blood my hands have been stained in, you move me.”

He steps a little closer and you find yourself holding your breath, “You move me.”

You don’t know what to say. You scan through your memories, all the ones that you had with him and try to remember what you felt. And maybe you did feel something for him, something more than just cadet and captain, but you never let yourself think too far from it.

You were scared to let yourself fall, but for some odd reason, Humanity’s Strongest was letting him fall on his knees for you.

You can’t help but smile and your eyes glistening as you take the final step to close the proximity between the two of you. “

If you’re saying what I think you’re saying then,” You sigh as you close your eyes, your breath fanning against Levi’s cheeks, “don’t be shy to move a little more and show me what you mean.”

Levi’s takes a moment, studying the look in your eyes as he calculates his movements. He feels excited, but fear pulls the rug beneath his feet and all of a sudden he finds himself more scared of you than any mission he’s even been in.

You hold his face in your hands, smiling at him. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now.”

And just like that, your words egg him on and have him pushing all his doubt behind him.

Levi’s lips are soft against yours, the kiss is gentle yet eager to go deeper. He’s reluctant to cage you in his arms, but when he feels you smile against his lips and how your arms wind around his neck, he realizes he’s eases in.

Levi Ackerman has seen all the uglies in the word, and had his heartbroken one too many times to count, but you are the only one that moves him.

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nafeary · 4 years ago

Text

Napoleon, Theo, Dazai, and Jean reacting to College Student!MC Stressed by Deadlines

Requested by @hqissodelicate:

hey toni boo, sara/delicateikemenmemes here ❤ i've been Going Through It with school 😔 so i was thinking of how my boos napoleon, theo, dazai & jean would react to MC who's a (stressed, exhausted) student who got yeeted to the mansion in the midst of a bunch of deadlines? thank you boo & i hope you're drinking your water 💙😤

✧✎ A/N: I’m sorry it took me this long to finish... but this was super fun to write and it helped me get back into writing after such a long break due to school bs. I’m not too satisfied with Dazai’a and the haphazard scenario/headcanons mush, but I still quite like this I think. Thank you for the request dear! Take care and drink water, everyone!

Warnings: Stress and mild mentions of anxiety, and like one mention of sexual intercourse

Napoleon Bonaparte

“You’re just a chore, after all.”

You whirled around. “Don’t act like your job is going to be that hard,” you could only scoff in annoyance, “I’m going to be inside my room all day, anyway.”

At first, Napoleon was slightly confused by your statement. Wouldn’t you want to explore this new world at all? But according to code, he’d just smirk and go (sleep) do smth

And true to your statement, you did stay inside your room for the most part

It’s not like your quadrillion essays would write themselves

It’s not like your college would just excuse your tardiness

It’s not like—

“Nunuche, you sure you don’t need a break from... whatever you’re doing?”

Napoleon was quite suddenly standing besides you, trying to read the mess that you’ve created.

“And who gave you permission to enter?”

“Me, obviously. I did have the impression that you were in danger, judging from the amount of curses I perceived.”

You could have died from embarrassment. Of course he had to hear your yells of frustration, stemming from the fact that your laptop was out of order, that you had no idea how to use ink properly, and—

“Have you realised that you regularly zone out?”

“I suppose? But if you wouldn’t mind, I really need to finish...” you trailed off, gesturing to the papers in front of you.

However, at his inquisitive gaze, you decided to explain that these were essays that could very well decide how you’d pass university, and, upon further inquiry, elaborated how a modern student’s life looked like

He never interrupted you unnecessarily, only to ask questions when a concept was too modern for him to comprehend

Your cursed assignments certainly made your life in the past harder to enjoy, but it also brought you and the emperor closer than ever

Unable to access the internet—or visit the college library—you had no proper sources for you references (considering that Comte’s library had no modern content, naturally)

You also didn’t want to bother Sebastian, especially since him and Comte had shown so much understanding for your peril that they practically forbid you from helping him out around the mansion

Their reasoning didn’t make you feel less bad though

Hence, you only had one option left that could complete your last essay

Which oh-so conveniently encompasses the Napoleonic Wars, something you truly did not want to burden him with

“Napoleon? Remember those essays that I have to finish for my university courses?”

“Of course.”

You were twiddling your thumbs, contemplating whether your grades are worth revisiting unpleasant memories, aka the taboo of the mansion

Abruptly, he grabbed your cheeks with just enough force to turn you away from looking at your feet, but not enough to inflict pain. “If there is anything I can help you with, I’d never shy away from it.”

Begrudgingly, you inquired him about his reign with as little focus on the gruesome details as possible your professor be damned

And holy shit, he’s amazing at writing? And Not just cringey love letters? Panty Sniffer Napoleon brrrrr

As you grew closer, he’s spoil you with vitamin-rich snacks (going as far as asking Arthur and Sebastian for medical advice)

He enjoys carving cute shapes out of fruits and eggs because he knows that their and his adorable presence will prompt the perfect amount of distraction to allow a small moment of rest

Says that it’s his duty as your guard and boyfriend to take care of your overworking habits

Expect frequent complaints from your beau, ranging from “how could they assign so many essays? Aren’t students just humans, too?” to “‘Reasons Why Edison Is Better Than Newton’? Do they even know what they’re talking about? Tch!”

Theodorus Van Gogh

You gleefully indulged in his charades for the first few days. They were a welcome distraction from your college work, after all

But the procrastination was accompanied by guilt, your anxiety building up every second you spent helping Sebastian with the chores, and gallivanting around town with Theo

A week passed before your sense of responsibility finally kicked in. So when Sebas came to wake you up just as the sun peaked past the horizon, you were already scribbling away on some sheets you’d found in your drawers

“Ah, good morning, Sebastian-san.”

“Good morning... what are you writing, if I may ask?”

“Just some essays for my college courses...” you said, glancing dejectedly at your notes.

Now that you didn’t have access to the internet, and your laptop’s battery was all used up, it made your work all the more tedious, but you had to set your teeth and do this.

“Give me 10 minutes, and I’ll join you in the kitchen.”

He had wanted to argue, but you didn’t let him. And when he saw you leaving the house with Theo later in the afternoon, he could only shake his head.

You felt like you owed the art dealer, especially since you blurted out his secret the literal next moment, so you committed to helping him while also keeping up with your work

Although, him calling you dog wasn’t nice either—even though, according to Sebas’ explanation, Hondje wasn’t exactly the equivalent to mutt

That cycle continued for days. Helping out around the mansion, getting pulled around by Theo, and writing your essays deep into the night

Not to mention all the worries that pressured your shoulders further and further into the ground

You were missing so many group project deadlines, disappointing people that relied on you... it was safe to say that sleep did not come easy, if barely

Just before you arrived at your room after a late night art exhibit did your body decide to fail you, tripping over nothing multiple times.

It prompted Theo to call you out before you could even think of rushing past the door, steadying you with a hand more gentle than you had ever experienced it to be.

“Sebas informed me that you’ve been working yourself to death.”

You silently cursed the butler. “I haven’t—“

“Give me your laptop.”

Perplexion ran across your mien, wondering how he could possibly have remembered such a modern detail from your countless rambles. “It’s batt— it doesn’t work right now, so it’s not like it would stop me from working.”

Arguing with the devil was a mistake.

He snaked his arms around you, holding the door handle in place with one hand while the other still kept you upright. “I don’t care whether you work or not, I’m not your mother. And regardless of its abilities, hand it over, knabbletje.”

What other choice did you have but to comply?

He ordered—yes, ordered—you to go to bed right that instant

If you hesistanly ask him to do the same (we all know what a hard worker he is), he’ll just press a guileless kiss to your forehand, telling you not to worry about him

The next morning, you were already worrying for your baby’s safety within the sadist’s hands when the devil invited himself into your room

“Ever heard of knocking?”

“Morning to you, too, Hondje.” He sent you an overly handsome smirk, handing you the laptop tucked underneath his arms. “You won’t be able to use that spider web Sebas told me about, but writing should work.”

You stared at Theo in disbelief, all the while internally laughing at him misinterpreting the World Wide Web. Deciding to trust in him, you clicked the power button. And sure enough, it sprang to life. “What... how in the world did you...”

Leo overheard you and Sebas talking about solar energy sometime… hush, just run with it

He fell into the seat next to you, propping his chin upon his fist. “I didn’t do anything. Just asked Sebas whether there was a way for you to use this. Leonardo took notice and tinkered around with it. Don’t ask—ah!”

You threw your arms around his shoulders, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. “Thank you for taking care of me, Theo.”

Would you have lifted your face, then you’d have caught a glimpse of the vermillion shading his cheeks. “I didn’t do it to help you. I simply can’t risk having you become a liability at work. That’s all.”

Anyway, tsundere tendencies aside, you know what another big factor of dating Theo is?

King if you’re not allergic, understandably, if so, he’ll change his clothes before even thinking of visiting you

On days that you decide to be especially stubborn, he pulls you outside, all the whilst whistling for the jolly golden retriever

And as soon as he comes running, your mind goes brrrrr cute dog

Although, he’ll try his best not to distract you from work. He knows from personal experience that it’s a much bigger annoyance than help

Thus, he’ll certainly use his connections and amiable rip Shakes relationships with the residents to help you out with the research process

Also, with his superior memory, he knows what generally makes you happy and relaxed, so he’ll be his usual observant self to decipher just what would help you perfectly relax/finish your work

Hardworking boi, please love him

Dazai Osamu

Dazai is the type of person that doesn’t mind upsetting people and risking someone’s disdain if it supports that person in the long run

And he’s able to read people like books, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he knows you’re overwhelmed before you even realize it

You’ve been going to sleep too late and waking up too early? He’ll gently force you (if you’re 100% against it, he won’t do it ofc) to sleep beside him, making sure that you won’t rise with the sun for once

You’ve been exposing your wrist to heavy sprain? He’ll teach you some handy-dandy 5 Min Crafts techniques that are guaranteed to send your hands on a vacation

You've been suffering from writer’s block? Time to go on a lovely stroll through nature with your boo

Your shoulders and neck are hurting beyond sanity? He swears by hot springs, so the thermae is his go-to for when you need to relive some muscle kinks

He never fails to procure the perfect amount of bubbles and temperature. And depending on how comfortable you are with it, he’ll offer to wash your hair.

And since dude got Disney princess hands, you most probably fall asleep, but our man is there to hold you above the water

His bare thighs are an added bonus, sending your mind into spirals faaaar away from college work

After you’re done bathing, he’ll ask you whether you’d like him to braid your hair (if it’s long enough), and his Disney princess hands will not disappoint

In the beginning, it was incredibly vexing to have a security cam in the form of a handsome man always on the qui vive

But at some point, you started embracing Dazai’s overwhelmingly passive—you knew exactly what he was doing whenever he’d do something random—protectiveness

Especially since it didn’t only help you complete your work; on the contrary, you were always excited to spend time with the Japanese writer

But that didn’t curb your confusion at the whole debacle. Why was he this focused on your well-being?

So, you decided to confront him

“Dazai?” Once again, you were relaxing in his arms, his fingers threading through your hair lulling you into a dreamlike state.

He ticked his head to the side, pulling your entwined hands closer towards his heart. The sun streamed into the run at just the right angle, yet the golden light was not as bright as his vivid citrine orbs.

You sighed, unable to look at his stupid handsome face for too long. ”Why is it that you insist on taking care of me?”

“Someone has to, Toshiko-san.”

You’d have blurted out your feelings if it wasn’t for the sudden embrace you found yourself in. As guileless as it appeared, you knew he was trying to stop you from acting on your thoughts.

Deciding that you didn’t want to pressure him further (after all, you knew that he had a hellish first life), you accepted the unclarity of his feelings—even though his actions spoke loud enough for you to understand.

It was that day that you decided to repay him for all he’s done for you

And you wouldn’t let him yeet himself through a window in an attempt to evade the love sent his way this time

Even if it took decades, you wanted him to feel just as safe and loved as you did in his company

You were glad to have such a caring man by your side who helps you with managing you self care

You could only hope that he’d allow himself to be treated the same way

Please just take our love, boo. We love you

Jean d’Arc

Well fuck, how could he possibly help someone who’s stressed when he himself is a 24/7 McDonalds that only sells Chicken McStress?

Anywho, I feel like he’d be the complete opposite of Dazai when confronted with a stressed MC

He’d care just as much, of course, but he thinks that it would be better to give her space, since he himself understands the desire for solitude well

So yeah, I can see him not going out of his way to check up on you if you weren’t super duper close friends/lovers IF it wasn’t for his friend Napoleon

After all, it was him who gave your boyfriend a lil talk, convincing him that, perhaps even if someone needs space, they probably still need someone to look after them

Living with Jean is basically Ted Talks everyday

Anyway, he embarked on his journey to hopefully help you and and to relieve some stress that was wearing you down (according to the statement of several residents)

And, finding himself halting abruptly, our pessimistic little bean realised that he’s got zero idea what did help you attain bliss

So he opted for the next best option—things he knew that made his friends relax

Plan A

Hearing a few oddly reluctant raps on your door, you went to open it. As soon as you did, the beautiful man who’d captured your heart entered your vision, your eyes finding his amethyst ones immediately.

You two stayed like that for a moments, only breaking eye contact when he sighed and simultaneously thrusted a mug into your hand, already in the process striding back to his own room.

“Uhm… Jean? I’m a bit busy right now, but would you like to come in?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you find it inappropriate for a man to enter your room, mademoiselle?”

“Jean,” you giggled at his archaic mindset, gently rubbing your thumb between his brows to even out the crease. “We’ve had sex before, you know. Of course you ca—“

Wrong thing to say. He stormed past you, vermillion cheeks practically leaving a trail.

Chuckling to yourself, you turned to the mug’s contents. “Hm? Hot chocolate?”

Plan B:

“If this doesn’t harbor your discomfort…” Your boyfriend reluctantly stood in your room’s corner, standing straighter than a rod.

Frankly, your essays have kept you entirely too busy, and you longed for the warmth of the French man’s feather-like embrace.

“On the contrary, I enjoy your presence.” And you went right back to scribbling away.

Jean frowned. “Haven’t you been writing stories since this morning?”

“They’re not stories… and, yeah? I believe so.”

Stepping towards your seated form, he extended his hand; you grabbed it without thinking twice. “Is everything alrig—whoa!”

With the ease of a seasoned soldier, he picked you up before haphazardly tugging you into bed with bewilderment maring your features. “You should sleep.”

“—what?”

He stared at you blankly, as if expecting you to fall into the land of dreams right that instant.

“Did something prompt,” you slipped your arms out from underneath the duvets, gesturing wildly, “this?”

It was hard to be upset with Jean, his clueless but genuine persona the reason why you fell for him, yet you couldn’t disguise the irritation coursing through your veins—you had work to return to, after all.

“I think you need to rest, mademoiselle.”

Your blinking made him avert his eyes, explaining quietly, “I am uncertain what supports your release of tension, so I thought that perhaps sleeping could help since it certainly does show affect with Napoleon.”

“Ah, and you made me hot chocolate since that’s what calms Mozart.”

After internally simping for his soft and wholesome dumbass energy, you pulled him to bed beside you, claiming that it would help you relax (but only after telling him that it was okay for him to ask for your preferences)

And falling asleep to the heartbeat underneath his broad chest is definitely a 5-star-resort vacation

He’d eventually ask his relationship advisor Napoleon whether it is okay to have you help them out with his reading/writing lessons (you

You, alongside Napoleon, steadily agreed, despite knowing that it was a ploy to keep you away from overworking

Please also love this boy, thanks

Tag List of the most wonderful sweethearts (just message me if you’d like to be added <3): @juminly @kisara-16 @sweetlittlemouse @thesirenwashere @nad-zeta @delicateikemenmemes

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woozisnoots · 4 years ago

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Hello alex! Maybe I'm to early for having a emergency request but I haven't really going anywhere outside my house beside buy groceries and I haven't socialize properly in months (maybe there is a bunch of people can relate). It's stressing and make me mentally exhausted for months 😭😭😭 can I request something like joshua fluff or wonwoo fluff that can comfort us? And I get it if you can't do it since I think I'm to early for asking. Anyway hope you have a nice day ❣️

no ofc it’s not too early! pls, i want to do this for you guys 🥺💓 these are meant to be small so i ended up doing both. i hope you enjoy and if you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox and dms are always open!

𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧!

° pairing: joshua x reader, wonwoo x reader ° genre: fluff! ° word count: 1214 ° warnings: none! ° tagging: @jaeyoonurl bc she has a thing for j*shua hong

masterlist!

— joshua

in the scenario that you and joshua are living together in a small apartment complex, he does the slightest bit to annoy you whether it be intentional or not

like he’ll either make you stay in bed with him longer than usual so you’d be late to a zoom class / meeting

or he’d purposefully flick you behind the ear while you’re cooking which causes you to accidentally pour more than just a pinch of salt on your eggs

since josh owns that little projector that has slides of all the different constellations, he would turn it on right before you guys go to sleep as you lay next to each other on the bed and just stare at the stars from your ceiling

he loves making jewelry to pass the time while you guys watch netflix together. and wants nothing more than receiving an accessory that you made yourself

“joshua hong, please!” you fling your arms up to reach for the object now in joshua’s hands, much to your avail. “it’s literally so ugly. i beg you, please don’t wear it!” the little jump you add doing nothing but exhaust your energy.

you knew it was bad idea, you should have trusted your gut the minute joshua left to get the groceries. forty-five minutes was just not enough time for you to possibly make a small thank you gift for you boyfriend. a token to say, ‘this is what three years has gotten us.’

“but you gave it to me!” joshua refutes back. you let your guard down, breathing rapidly in order to catch your breath from the unnecessary movement of having to keep up with him. he, on the other hand, took this as an opportunity to run, sprint away from your wrath and make a clean line for the bathroom before shutting the door to securely lock it in place.

joshua hears your wallowed out screams coming from the other side and softly chuckles under his breath, wondering when you’ll ever get used to his childish antics at times. he safely unravels his hands to reveal the tiny object. and he can’t help but smile wide, ear to ear, and think, ‘so that’s why i felt something pointy.’

you’ve given up at this point. by now, he’s probably already seen your gift and for all you know, everything is doomed. your hand laid flat on top of the door, deciding whether to shrivel in front of him now or wait until he confronts you first. yet, he’s able to make that decision for you as he abruptly opens the door causing you to fall forward straight into his arms.

“why, hello gorgeous,” you watch from underneath him, the corner of his lip rising up to form a cheeky smirk. you squint your eyes menacing at the thought that he could possibly be wearing the horrid gift you made. tilting your head to the side, you open one eye to catch a glimpse of green hanging from joshua’s left ear. he turns his head just slighty so you could get a better look. “you’ve really out done yourself, if i had anything to say about it. though i have to say, i didn’t think you’d go for the cute food aesthetic. i thought you hated avocados.”

blood immediately rushes towards your cheeks and hide your face from joshua’s vision but he was too quick. using his brute strength, he pulls your weight so you’re standing in front of the mirror, back facing him. your mind spirals as you feel joshua tuck strands of your hair behind your ear. “awe lookie, i knew you’d be wearing the other one,” he says before deliverying a small peck to your cheek, leaving you a scrambled mess. “what a perfect anniversary gift.”

— wonwoo

spending time with wonwoo during quarantine would be rather quiet and simple, but that doesn’t mean your time spent together is boring

having little to nothing to do all day makes you realize how much renovations you guys can do around your home

your morning conversations over breakfast would be about different home décor that you found on amazon and you would end up having such a fun time talking about it because you guys turn them into little debates over if the items are actually necessary

that being said, wonwoo would be so willing to buy anything that would fill your guys’ boredom. and yes, that would include getting two separate desks, possibly four computer screens, two headsets, two light up keyboards for the heck of it, and of course: two very comfortable gamer chairs

no, he would not let you win at any games for freebies — you gotta earn that shit

out of all the days of the week, nothing was ever reserved for sundays. truly, every day was a free day — lounging around, doing chores, testing new cooking hacks to see if they actually worked. but sundays especially were just extra... boring. the very end of the week with absurd nothing to do. which has led you to spend this sunday morning in front of your dual computer screens with your boyfriend joining you on the other side of the desk.

“damn it!” you exclaim, lightly slamming the keys on your keyboard due to this endless frustration boiling inside of you since you’ve started playing. “how do i keep losing... it’s club penguin for fucks sake!”

your hands collect your face with pure dread and exhaustion, wondering how your supreme logic failed you during card jitsu. you hear a hearty chuckle coming from wonwoo sitting across from you. “the cards are just in my favor, sweetheart.” he eyes you as he takes the warm cup of coffee to his lips to take a sip. “how about, best two out of three to see who has to make breakfast?” the huskiness of his voice growing deeper with each word, leaving you in trace for just a moment.

you ponder at the bet, looking back between the screen showcasing your pink penguin and your beautiful barefaced boyfriend, ultimately coming to a decision. “what about. i watch you wipe out your penguin foes for the next few rounds and then we can make breakfast together,” you suggest instead, your mind thinking far beyond your apparently lousy deck of cards.

“fine by me,” wonwoo shrugged, adjusting himself comfortably to his seat. you silently admire him from where you are, noticing how notably meticulous he was being when he’s focused. wonwoo’s eyes captures yours but gives you a puzzled look. “are you not gonna come over here?” he quietly asks.

the simple question makes your head drop, feeling embarrassed as you try hard not to show him how flustered he made you. regardless, your legs move without you having to think it over. and instead of sitting on the small space that he left for you on his chair, you move his arm aside to face him before straddling your legs and sitting on his lap.

wonwoo, completely unfazed, takes his free arm not holding his mouse and tugs you in closer to his chest so you can lay your head on his shoulder. for the remainder of your morning, your eyes slowly start to droop to the sound of penguin screams and victory.

#caratwritersclub #seventeen fluff #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo fluff #joshua hong #joshua fluff #seventeen scenario #seventeen #wonwoo scenario #joshua scenario #wonwoo x reader #joshua x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #😚.anon #💓.asks

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oigimi · 4 years ago

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. on my own: act 2 .

. arthur x mc . 1.7k words. first person, angst, slightly nsfw, minors dni .

. if you have not read the first part, please go ahead and do so! i was very proud of it and it will provide you with the full context of this fic! .

The day after my long walk was ordinary to say the least. I completed chores and conversed with the residents as I normally do, but something changed within me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Arthur anymore. I knew if I did, my heart would shatter little by little. Now that I knew I was in love with the man, I had to avoid him at all costs. I couldn’t afford to love him even more, and everything he did made my heart flutter. Steering clear of him was the best route to take.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone, though. Word spreads way too quickly in the mansion, so even if I told Sebastian, Arthur would know within a half hour anyway. The only thing worse than confronting Arthur right now was confronting him when he knew how I felt. There had to be an excuse as to why I couldn’t clean Arthur’s room, but I just wasn’t smart enough to come up with one. Sebastian made me go up and clean it anyway.

I peered my head into the room and sighed a breath of relief when I saw he wasn’t there. This had to be quick. Just get in, dust the furniture, change the bedsheets, and move on. I could do this. So I got to work, ignoring the pain in my chest that just wouldn’t go away when I noticed the pile of presents on his coffee table. God, how many women were receiving gifts from him? And how many was he getting in return? It was unfair. I knew how much he spent on the random women he spent the night with. He was buying diamonds and dresses and designer shoes for these girls, and I couldn’t imagine the favor was being returned. It just hurt, knowing the love of my life was being taken advantage of like this. Sure, he was a prissy fancy rich boy, but that wasn’t what mattered. It was the thought that counts, that’s what I was always taught. Surely it hurt knowing that you were pouring your time and money into so many people and not getting a single thing back.

Unfortunately for me, I’d spent too much time in my own head yet again, fantasizing about all the time I’d spend trying to return the favor to him. My own jealousy was my downfall, because as I turned around to leave his room, I came face to face with him in the doorway. “A-ah. Sorry, I was just finishing up.”

“I want to talk with you,” Arthur murmured, stepping forward. I looked down at the floor, gripping my supplies tighter.

“Sorry, I have work I need to finish up.”

“Surely you have a bit of time.” He closed the door behind him, moving a little closer to me. “There’s something I need to discuss with you.”

“Okay.” Arthur moved and sat on his loveseat, patting the spot next to him, shooting me an expectant glance. “Ah…” I set my things down and joined him, sitting as far away from him on the seat as possible. “So what do you need to talk about?”

He reached out and stroked my jawline, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. “Why have you been avoiding me?” he murmured, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “I always look forward to hearing your voice first thing in the morning. Your smile and enthusiasm is what helps me start my day… Where did it go this morning? And, more importantly, where did you go last night?”

I froze. He knew. Oh god, he knew I left in the middle of the night. Did he know why I left? And… How did he know? I didn’t think I was that loud, but I suppose I was wrong.

“I didn’t go anywhere important. It’s none of your business anyway,” I replied, playing with my hands. “And… how did you know?”

“A little lamb let us know. Poor little Lotte was crying for you all night.” Damn that lamb. I knew she was trouble. Arthur leaned in a little closer and looked deeper into my eyes, his thumb caresses slowing down a little bit. “But the most burning question: Why was a beautiful little bird like you crying in the middle of the night on her own?”

Ah, apparently I wasn’t good at hiding my little night trip at all. Was I just a sloppy escapee, or was Arthur just so much more keen than I even imagined? He’d caught me out of the house. He’d caught my distress. Arthur had caught everything I was doing except the reason why. What could I even do? My face was on fire by now and the space between us was closing. My wall was crumbling, and I needed an escape. ‘Answer, answer now!’ my mind was screaming, feeling the tension thicken every second I remained silent. “You wouldn’t understand,” I eventually spat, looking back down.

Shit, now I was tearing up.

“Wouldn’t I?” Arthur murmured. He had my face in both of his hands by now, and slowly pushed me down on the couch. “Does it have anything to do with me? Answer me honestly. I know you well enough to know if you’re lying.”

That was true. He did know me well. Only a few weeks into my stay at the mansion, and Arthur knew my tells. It was annoying. It was frustrating. It wasn’t fair. Before I knew it, I was sniffling and still averting Arthur’s gaze. There was no hiding it anymore. He knew. I knew. He knew I knew he knew. I couldn’t help my feelings anymore, and I nodded.

He nodded, rubbing his nose against mine. My heart was beating so hard that I was hyper aware of the pumping in my chest. There was nothing left to do except tell the truth. What was I to do? Arthur frowned and closed his eyes. “Tell me why. You’re a gorgeous girl, and there’s nothing that pains me more than making a woman cry. Especially not you. I want to right my wrongs.”

“I’m sorry Arthur, but there’s no way you can fix this,” I whispered, choking on my own sobs. “I couldn’t ask you to.”

“Ask me. How can I mend your heart again?” His lips came dangerously close to mine, and pressed against my neck. I let out a small moan, I couldn’t help it. My neck tickled so much that it sent a jolt down my body, through my heart and heating up the places I wanted him to touch so badly. He nibbled on my neck some more, and rubbed my sides. Arthur knew I was putty in his hands. He knew how to play me right, and eventually found the sweet spot near my jawline. His tongue grazed it, and his fangs gently poked me there.

In a hushed, cracking voice, I moaned, “Love me. Make me yours and be mine. Don’t go to the pub and take other girls. Be mine, please… If you want to mend my heart, give me yours. I can’t be on my own anymore!”

He pulled his head away from my neck, and sat upright in the seat. “You want me to be yours?” he murmured, cocking his head slightly to the right. He moved his thumbs to wipe my tears away, which were pouring in larger quantities than ever. “My gorgeous, sweet little bird. You’re the sweetest little thing I’ve ever met in my life. Your kindness is unmatched, and no one can make my heart beat like you can. You truly are the perfect woman, sweetheart. You’re wonderful, and I’ve wanted that kindness to myself since you came to the mansion.”

“You… Did?” I whispered, my gaze unwavering from his deep, sapphire eyes. “You want me all to yourself?” His smile made me laugh, and I sat up with him, hugging his neck. “Dummy… You’ve had me. You’ve had me all this time.”

Arthur chuckled and pulled me into his lap, moving his hands down my body. “Well isn’t that nice to hear. But back to the pressing matter. I need to mend your heart again. I’m not satisfied with claiming you as my own.”

“Kiss me then.” I rubbed Arthur’s back, breathing more heavily. “I want you to kiss me, just like I’ve been dreaming of for weeks.”

“Oh, so you’ve had fantasies? How coincidental. I have too. Although, I can’t say they were as innocent as kisses.”

“Then go further than kisses. Act your fantasies out. Whatever you have in mind, I surely do too.”

“Watch your words, dove. You know just how naughty I can be,” he purred, kissing and suckling on my ear. The sound drove me crazy, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Then be naughty! Kiss me, rub me, touch me! Please, Arthur! I can’t hold out any longer!”

The writer looked down at me, the smirk on his face growing wider than ever. “Well. Your wish is my command, my one and only bird.”

We laid in his loveseat for hours, kissing and touching each other, expressing just how badly we needed each other’s love. And truthfully, I don’t think my heart would have been able to handle it if we waited a second longer. No longer was I on my own, yearning for a man I was convinced I could never have. Here he was, claiming me and accepting my declaration of love. When we eventually fell asleep, I admired his sleeping face. He was beautiful. And his arms were just as wonderful of a place to be as I’d hoped.

Thank God for Arthur. Thank God for his love. And thank God for taking away the pain that stung my heart for weeks. I could go to sleep happy now, not a tear in my eyes.

“Goodnight. I love you,” I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Arthur’s cheek before joining him in a long, peaceful slumber.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur x reader #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp scenarios #minors dni #ikevamp arthur x mc #ikevamp arthur

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brittledame · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Warnings: Explicit, A/B/O-verse, Knotting, Creampie, Biting, Marking, Scenting, Blow jobs, locker room sex

Word Count: 7k

Summary: Semi's temper got the best of him during practice when Shirabu almost accidentally serves a ball straight into their manager. Both you and the team are worried about the older setter, but don't know what's going on with him. Unknowingly, you stumble upon Semi after his shower whilst doing chores in the empty change rooms. Semi shows you exactly what has been driving him crazy the past week. Unknowingly, you stumble upon Semi after his shower whilst doing chores in the empty change rooms. Semi shows you exactly what has been driving him crazy the past week.

Series: Part 1 of 2 (Part 2 here)

Now, you were not known for being over-dramatic, nor were you known for over exaggerating things. So, when you say aloud, “Semi has been very moody lately…” The team were beyond the point of pulling hair out in pure frustration over said male.

Safe to say, Eita is known to be a little hot headed, but when it came to anything involving Shirabu, he seemed to devolve into the human equivalent of a hair-pin trigger. Prior to whatever had triggered Eita’s down-right nasty attitude, any off-hand comments from the younger setter would at most elicit a scowl and a quick-fire jab in return.

Now though? You watched in abject horror as the situation unraveled faster than a poorly tied rope. Just as the coach had stepped out to get more paperwork for you to look over and discuss the advancements the boys have made over the past week, a ball ricocheted over in your direction, close enough for you to feel a breeze caress your cheeks.

“What in the ever-loving fuck Shirabu? I know that you have more control over your piss-poor serves than that!” Semi seethed as he marched over towards the partially stunned brunette.

Shirabu’s usually placid façade quickly evaporated into thin air as the distance between them rapidly shortened, instead it was replaced with a scowl that even had Goshiki widen his eyes and beat a hasty retreat.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Shirabu sarcastically replies, “I’ve just been a little distracted that someone has been riding my ass for the past week, so I’m sorry that I’m not performing at my best.”

Before Semi could place his hands on the shorter male, Reon and Tendou intercepted him. The latter male chucked a gangly arm across the seething setter’s shoulders, much to Semi’s evident annoyance. Reon placed a calming hand on Shirabu’s shoulder and you were relieved to see the second year’s shoulders relax slightly at the comforting touch.

“Now, now! I hardly think throwing hands with a second year is going to help whatever is going with you Eita,” Tendou wagged his finger in the air as he continued chiding Semi. “You’ll scare off poor ol’ Manager-chan if you keep up your snarling.”

You tensed up at the mention of your role. You hadn’t moved a muscle since the ball came flying your way, which honestly is a normal hazard of being manager to a power-house team. If you couldn’t handle a misfired ball here-and-there then how could you honestly function working with the rambunctious volleyball team?

You slide your eyes over to Semi, only to find he was already staring at you with dark eyes. A spark shoots down your spine, making your fingertips tingle at the sensation. You quickly break eye contact and look over to the left where Shirabu was standing quietly sulking.

“It’s fine Shirabu, it didn’t hit me, and besides,” you grin at him, “even if it did hit me, it would never trump that one time Ushijima spiked one straight into my face.”

Chuckles broke out across the group of boys, thankfully shattering the tense atmosphere. Forever missing the point, Ushijima bows and gives another apology to you while you wave him off and laugh at his serious expression. Meanwhile, Tendou steered Semi off to the side, well away from the boys now playfully teasing the ever stoic Wakatoshi.

“Honestly though dude, you’ve been stinking up the place lately. Are you really alright? And don’t brush me off again.” Tendou’s light tone turned serious, revealing to Semi just how badly his badly managed temper has effected those around him. “Is this an alpha issue or…?”

Semi rubbed at his eyes and sighed heavily .

“I’m-I’m dealing with it. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bit aggressive lately,” he said tiredly. Maybe his rut was coming a week sooner than he had anticipated, he’s never felt so on edge, especially when you were in the vicinity.

A sharp whistle cut through the air, causing a few of the younger years to wince, with the third years sighed at the loss of their short break. Practice goes back into full swing, the scene quickly forgotten as Washijou barks out commands and demands laps as retribution when they fail to satisfy him. You yourself couldn’t ruminate any longer on Semi’s apparent bad temper lately as you rush to fill in the sheets Washijou handed you and keep up with the team’s moves.

All too soon, practice was called to an end. A few whoops from the more energetic boys sounded at the whistle, but it seemed like most of the boys were exhausted from this particular practice session. The heavy mix of sweat and pheromones was enough to make you wrinkle your nose. Even after all these years you’d think that you would get used to the smell of a couple dozen alphas and betas and the occasional omega stinking up the enclosed area.

As per usual, all the members gathered around the coaches and waited for the hazing critiques coach Washijou was sure to dish out. It seemed that poor Goshiki suffered the brunt of the harsh comments, looking for all the world like he was trying not to cry. Reon and Yamagata moved closer to the first year and gave a few encouraging pats on the back, once Washijou had moved onto his next victim. Shirabu shook his head at the scene. Guiltily, you kind of understood the sentiment.

One had to be able weather all sorts of scathing critiques and comments to last long on this team. There’s a reason most omega’s don’t stay long on the team, most pushed to tears and dropping off the team before they could make a whole term. You were the longest standing omega team member and that was purely driven by spite to prove to Washijou that you weren’t a “waste of space” as he once so kindly called you.

Sliding your eyes over to Semi, you were shocked to find the dark-tipped ash blonde male already staring at you with burning eyes. Locking eyes for all of a second, he quickly looked down at the floor, tightly clutching at his towel. He was still wiping the sweat off of his brow, chest heaving as he tries to draw cool air into his tired lungs. Trying to be subtle, you scent the air, trying to locate Semi’s unique musk under the many layers of scents in the gym, but like always you couldn’t push past the reek of teenager’s sweat.

After the short intermission, he really threw himself into his serves and sets. The force he hit every ball caused a knot of something to settle in your abdomen. You couldn’t help but wonder what it’d feel like if he’d used that same force on your –

“ – and that’s all for today. I expect you all to improve on those points within the next week or you will be riding pine for however long I desire. Understand?” You gulped as you were ripped out of your dirty thoughts for a guy that wouldn’t even give you a second glance.

A resounding “Yes!” signaled the end of another day’s worth of work. Everyone started filing off towards the showers, hoping to get one of the few stalls that had decent water pressure. Thankfully, hot water was a non-issue with the mountain-load of funding appointed to the high-ranking team, otherwise it’d be a blood bath.

Steeling your nerves, you sought Semi out. You spot him standing near the entrance of the hallway leading to the locker rooms, talking animatedly to a smiling Reon. You really didn’t want to interrupt the conversation between the two alphas but you needed to talk to Semi about his attitude problem. Anymore days like today and you’re not sure if Washijou will hesitate to chuck Semi to the curb, irregardless of the power the setter brought to the court.

Thankfully you didn’t have to awkwardly catch Semi’s attention. You caught Reon’s eye and gave him an awkward wave, he nodded at you and said his goodbye to the bewildered setter. You always did love Reon’s fatherly nature, you’d have to treat him to his favourite meal of mackerel cooked in miso as a thank you sometime soon.

Semi froze when he met your eyes and you tried to not show any hesitance as you addressed him.

“Hey, I just wanted to ask about what’s up with you lately. I know it’s not exactly easy to talk about that kind of stuff to the team but…” Semi watches as you nervously tug at a piece of your hair. “You can talk to me if you want, I’d be more than happy to at least listen to anything that’s been on your mind lately.”

Semi bit his lip, eyes cast off to the side in (what you hope is) contemplation. His eyebrows furrow as you notice him scent the air, obviously displeased with what he smells, as his entire face tightens.

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer though.” He says in clipped tones, turning away from you.

Panicking, you grab his wrist to stop him. This turned out to be the worst possible choice, as Semi’s entire body freezes. You hold your breath, not wanting to fuck up this situation more so than you already have. A short eternity passes before he brusquely shakes off your loosened grip and stalks off towards the lockers, not breathing another word to you.

Hurt, you twist your hands together. Wow, you managed to piss off one of the hottest guys in your year in less than a minute, that has to be new record. Shit, maybe he was disgusted that an unmated omega near her heat touched him? No, that wasn’t likely. Semi wasn’t one of those uptight pretentious alphas that dominated Shiratorizawa's halls, in fact he was quite sociable and friendly when he was off the court.

On the court he had a one-track mind and an itch to show the team that just because he was benched doesn’t mean he had nothing to bring to the table. It was something you greatly admired about the male, asides from his jaw-dropping physique that you had the pleasure of viewing a handful of times during the hottest days in the summer.

Still spiraling into your self-made pit of despair, you listlessly set off to complete the rest of the chores assigned to you before it got too late. You usually were the last to leave for the night, so you had the keys for lock up jingling noisily in your pocket as you drop off your annotated charts and completed stats to coach Washijou’s office. On the way back, you drop by the laundry room and sort out some of the player bibs and towels needing to be washed from the ones needing to be folded up for use the next day.

Usually you can find some enjoyment in these menial tasks, as it allows you to ruminate in your thoughts or hum a new song that’s stuck in your head, but today you finish your chores in silence. You fail to not over-analyse Semi’s new apparent distaste for your presence this past week. He was usually more than amicable towards you, popping up to offer a helping hand at random times, and offering to help carry some heavy course material when he spots you struggling in the hallways.

Sighing, you set down the last folded towel on top of the pile needing to be delivered to the locker room. You have no idea what’s gotten into him recently, but it has nothing to do with anything alpha-related, as you’ve spent many times together in the days leading up to his rut and he’s never been this adverse to your touch before.

Physically shaking the thought from your head, you straighten yourself up and check the time. Great, it was late enough that none of the boys should still be in the locker room, so you could deliver the pile of towels, go back to your dorm and sulk for the rest of the night.

The hallways were empty and silent now that the boys were more than likely filed up for dinner. Cautious, you give a precautionary knock just in case someone was loitering around instead of rushing out like the others. At the lack of response, you swing open the door and begin to place the towels around the room and sort the dirty laundry into the right washing bins.

Lost in the monotony of your everyday motions, you missed the padding footfalls leaving the showers. Eita stood there in shock when he saw your figure bent over the washing bins, left to the lockers. He cursed his luck (his misfortune, he corrects) of having the one person in the school that Eita couldn't bare to lose control around alone with him. Already he could feel his tenuous grasp on his self-restraint slipping as he observes your clueless form sort out laundry.

Sniffing at the air, Eita could scent nothing but you in the air now that there was no one else around and he could feel his dick twitch at the thought. For fuck’s sake he already went above and beyond to avoid you today and the team after that disastrous practice. He even stayed behind to rub a quick one out in the empty showers, thinking about your soft skin against his.

As Eita stood behind you, lost in his turbulent thoughts, you stand up and turn around, meeting the half-naked setter's eyes. He looks just as shocked as you, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted, failing to say anything.

You can’t help your eyes as they take in his almost nude form, feeling almost envious at the white fluffy towel hiding his modesty from your view. Water droplets fall from his partially dried, tousled hair onto his pectorals and trace translucent trails down his tight abdomen and disappearing into the towel. Your mouth dries at the sight Semi makes before you, a casual sort of attractiveness that models strive to perfect.

Amused, Eita watches you rake your eyes over his form. He’s humble enough to know he looks pretty damn good for an eighteen year old, but he still preens under your appreciative look. Licking your lips unconsciously, you once again meet his eyes, fire clashing with fire.

'Oh god, keep it in your pants!' You admonished yourself. 'The poor guy is just trying to get dressed and here you are eye fucking him, for shame!'

Blushing heavily, you turn your gaze downwards. Eita gnaws at the inside of his cheeks at the sight of your embarrassed form. If this goes down the same track Eita’s illicit thoughts had journeyed down not that long ago, Eita is going to make an embarrassment of himself.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Eita mumbles a rough “fuck it” as he marches towards your prone form. Refusing to look up at him, you petulantly turn your head away from him. Semi huffs at the act and instead draws your head up with a crooked finger under your chin. You forgot how to breathe for a moment as you met his heated gaze. God, that look alone was enough to make you shiver and feel slick start gathering in your panties.

Eita chuckled at the wide-eyed expression on your face. “Don’t look so surprised. You’re the one person who could make me lose my mind like this, and you’re all alone with me at the worst possible moment.”

It’s at that moment that you’re hit with a wall of pure alpha scent, unsullied by any of the other’s pheromones or sweat. The smell of coconut body wash mixed with his natural musk, along with sharp undertones of bergamot, overwhelmed your senses. You whimpered at connotation of such a scent, Semi was interested in you – very interested.

‘Maybe he’s close to a rut, that’s why he’s acting like this. Of course he’d be like this around an unmated omega.’ The thought was sobering and practically kills your mood.

Drawing away from the stunning male, you shake your head. “No, you’re close to a rut, that's why you're acting like this. You just want an omega to warm your bed. Any omega will do.”

You had too much self-respect to waste any time or emotion trying to play into your number one fantasy of Semi actually reciprocating your feelings and wanting to fuck you, only to find out he was just looking to get his dick wet for the night.

“That’s not true and you know it,” Semi spits out between clenched teeth, drawing you back into him. “I’ve wanted to be with you romantically since first year. You’d have to have been blind to miss it.”

Offended, you rear up and scowl at him. “I’m not getting into bed with you because your horny mouth spits out some flattery. I know for a fact you don’t see me in that way, the past few days is proof of that!”

“Have you listened to a single word I’ve said? I've been dealing with so much sexual frustration lately because all I can think about is all the different positions I could fuck you in and mark up that soft skin of yours.” A flush of heat rolls through your body at his words.

“Lately, I’ve felt so out of control around you. I really don’t want to fuck up and lose our friendship.” He finishes, whispering the words into your hair.

Okay, so Semi has also been struggling with the same feelings you’ve been fighting back with a stick since first year, that's relieving. It’s sweet that Semi regarded your friendship so highly that he wouldn’t risk a potential mishap like this to fuck it up. The thought warms you in a way different to before.

“We’re such idiots,” you huff, burying your face into his chest. “I’ve liked you for awhile now as well. I just thought you'd always regard me in a platonic way. Kind of funny now that I think about it.” You slowly inhale, drawing in his soothing scent, as Semi wrapped his arms around you.

“Satori once commented that if there was anymore sexual tension between us, he expected us to spontaneously start fucking on the floor like animals.” Semi chuckled, tightening his grip minutely.

You hum thoughtfully. “Nah, I always imagined our first time either in one of our dorms or against the lockers.”

Looking up, you had the pleasure of watching a delicious-looking blush coat Semi’s cheeks at your teasing tone. Bring his hand up, he cups your cheeks and swipes his thumb gently under your eye, while the other draws circles over your hip. You tip your head back and relish in the feeling of his soft touches.

“Oh, really now?” He lowly teased back. “Why don’t we try it then?”

Semi releases your cheek, winds his arms around your waist and picks you up, walking you towards the very same lockers that had a starring role in your midnight fantasies. You have no idea who initiated the kiss, but your lips collided together just before your back was pressed against the cold metal.

You didn’t feel fireworks going off in the background, nor little birds start singing at your first kiss, but good god, did he make you feel light as a feather and make your heart all fluttery. Without thinking, you hook your legs around his torso and wind your fingers through his still-damp hair.

His lips were surprisingly soft and so very plush, you could easily get addicted to kissing Semi. You waited until the last possible second before you drew back for breath, panting against his lips for a moment, before diving right back in.

Out of nowhere, Semi roughly nips at your bottom lip and you gasp in response. He doesn't hesitate as he slides his tongue between the seam of your pink lips and entangle your tongues together. Moaning, you draw your trimmed nails down his naked back, blindly taking in each ridge and ripple of muscle of his toned physique. Semi's body trembles at the sensation.

This time Semi was the one to pull back with a gasp, burying his head in the crook of your neck, panting heavily.

“Do that again and I’ll really lose it.” His growl shot straight down to your core. You decide to tempt fate and really push Semi’s buttons, excited to see how far he’ll take it. You grind down onto his growing erection, while simultaneously raking your nails down his back hard enough to leave pink trails of irritated skin.

Semi almost immediately bucked up into up and moaned aloud. That moan alone was enough for slick to start pouring out of you, not to mention the dark look the alpha gives you.

“I warned you.” He says lowly, tone heavy with a dark promise.

Without letting you catch your breath, he dives back down to your mouth, kissing and nipping you with fervour that left you dizzy. Without thinking, you grind onto him, your core clenching on nothing as it grinds against Semi’s rigid length.

You couldn’t wait to see Semi’s cock, you had your guesses on what it might look like, maybe it was average size with above average girth, or maybe it was a little on the longer side, enough so that it could reach depths unexplored by your wondering fingers.

Well you always were the one to take advantage of any situation you were placed in and this one was no different to any other. Disconnecting your lips, a thin string of saliva connects the two of you snaps as you draw away and unhook your legs from around his back. Gliding out of his grasp, you slide your back down the lockers.

“Whoa, what are you doi-?” Grabbing his hips, you swing him so that his back was flat against the lockers and swiftly removed the infernal piece of fabric. The sight before you was drool-worthy, a cause to rub your thighs together to try and relieve the itch to just grab his dick and just cram it up inside of you – prep be damned. Instead, you just gawk at his dick, watching it twitch up against his stomach as Semi gives you a curious look.

It was of average thickness, but the length? That was well above average. The sight of a throbbing vein on along the right side of his cock caught your attention and god would that feel absolutely heavenly inside of you. If you were on the fence before, you now decided not to leave this room until you get the dicking down you deserve from putting up with his hormonal bullshit for the past week.

Licking your lips, you make eye contact with Semi as you grasp his dick and place the tip at the seam of your mouth. You absolutely adore the passionate heat in his gaze, giving him a slight smirk as you deliver a few small kitten licks to his tip.

“Stop playing around, gorgeous. I know exactly how skilled that tongue is.” Shivering at the demand, you close your eyes as you slowly make your way down his shaft. While you don’t regret showing the boys your odd talent of tying cherry stems with just your tongue, it seems to have come back to bite you in ass.

Unsurprisingly, you’re not able to fit the entirety of his cock in your mouth before you draw back for a moment before starting a faster pace. It only took a few tries before you could fit his entire length in your mouth, moaning when you feel it hit your oesophagus. You were eternally grateful for your lack of gag reflex, you would hate to ruin this life changing moment by chucking up on the poor guy.

Remembering the vein, you seek it out with your tongue and rub against it, appreciating the fact that you could literally feel how fast Semi’s heart was beating.

Groaning, he threaded a calloused hand through your loose locks and gave an occasional tug whenever you did something exceptional. You increase the sucking pressure and encouraged Semi to thrust up into you mouth by pressing his hips towards you. Receiving the message loud and clear, Semi set up his own fast pace, rolling his hips back and forth, almost overwhelming you.

Wanting to get back some control, you gently scrape your teeth down his shaft as he pulls out. Semi’s body immediately started trembling as he groaned aloud. Pulling at your hair, he tries to suppress the orgasm building quickly up in his abdomen. He would rather die than have a premature orgasm, he’s waited so long to have you like this, and he’ll be damned if your sinfully skilled tongue pushes him of the edge a lot sooner than he’d like.

Pulling your mouth off his slick dick by your hair, you whine at the loss, while he pants slightly. “I am not cumming in that pretty mouth of yours before I get to fuck you properly.”

Not even a moment later, Semi had you by the waist and splayed out on the – thankfully – cushioned bench. He stands there for a moment, committing to memory the sight of your pink cheeks, spit-slick chin and heaving chest.

“It’s not really fair that I’m naked and here you are all modest.” Bending over you, Semi tugs at your shirt. “Be a good girl and take this off for me?”

Your mind filled with static at his words, a wave of heat burning through you at the nickname the alpha gave you. Without thinking, you quickly strip out of your managerial clothes, not even trying to be sexy as you rush to slip off the maroon polo shirt and black shorts. Once you reach your undergarments, you pause, looking up at the alpha.

‘Thank god I wore a matching set today.’ You belatedly think. A quick glance at your plain black cotton bra and panties, with a tasteful amount of lace covering the fabric and peeking over the side. You judge it adequate enough for tonight. Not that you left your room this morning thinking anyone was going to see them, but still grateful for the choice, nonetheless.

He grins at the slight sign of submission, his inner alpha pleased at the silent question. Semi’s eyes swept over your nearly bare form, teeth buried in his lip as he takes in smooth skin that seems to go on endlessly, eyes pausing over the strips of black fabric covering your modesty.

Sitting on the bench, he gestured you over to him, watching intensely as you move towards him and throw a leg over his lap to straddle his thick thighs. He runs his fingertips from your throat, through the valley of your breasts, and stopped them just at the edge of your panties, fiddling with the lace there.

“Do you have anything on tomorrow?” He asks mildly, catching you off guard. You gave him a confused look and shake your head. Tomorrow was Saturday, the one day that was safe from coach Washijou’s back-breaking fitness regime, and no one had anything school-related to do tomorrow either.

Pleased Semi ducks down and hums in your ear. “Then I don’t suppose you’d mind if I mark you up a bit, right?” You felt your breath rush out of your lungs, failing to return.

“Go ahead.” You said breathlessly. You could feel the alpha chuckle from where he was pressed up against you.

“Good.”

You grasp at his biceps as he starts to suck a mark just under your ear, pausing to inspect it before giving a pleased hum and moving to suck another one along the column of your unblemished neck. He pays special attention to the major scent gland based just a few centimetres down from your ear. Sharp canines scrape across the sensitive skin and the feeling leaves your knees weak and slick start accumulating in your panties.

He buries his nose in the spot, taking in the rich scent of dark cherries and sugared plums. Single-minded, he noses the delicate area until it was swollen and imbued with his own scent. A rumble tears through his chest at the pleasing smell of your intermingled scents, part of him being simultaneously calmed yet exhilarated.

“Fuck you smell so damn good.” He breaths. You groan as he continues to brush up against the sensitive skin.

At your noise, he leaves the abused gland, clearly feeling accomplished. Semi thought if any more blood rushed down to his erection he’d pass out, but the sight of the marks he made littering your neck, looking like a beautiful abstract painting of purple lilacs, he could feel his blood begin to boil.

Making his way southwards, Semi continues to leave physical reminders of his love in ardent lavender and rose-pink marks. Slowly, he tilts you back until your back once again meets the cold bench, causing you to shiver. It definitely wasn’t from the scandalous sight of Semi situated between your legs; lips tantalizingly close – but not close enough – to your clothed core. No sir.

An immoral part of you wants to watch as Semi, hopefully, goes down on you, so you prop yourself up on your elbows. On a second thought, you also remove your bra, thankfully getting it off without any major mishaps, flinging it off to the side. Looking down at him, you wriggle your eyebrows out him.

“Like what you see?”

“Yeah, more than you could ever know.” He grins up at you, a devious glint in his eye. “So let me show you how much I appreciate you.”

Obviously fed up with waiting around, Eita goes straight for gold. His thick tongue licks a hot stripe over your clothed core, tasting the slick-soaked material. You gasp, grabbing for his head, threading your fingers through his soft ash-coloured hair. After a few long strokes, he eventually bores of that and hooks his thumbs into the elastic band of your panties and slowly drags them down your legs.

You wordlessly keen as Semi’s hands come back and dig into the fleshy part of your thighs, separating them to bare your naked core to him. Breath hastening as he views your glistening hole, you feel some slick trickle out at thought of what was about to go down – quite literally.

His eyes flash up towards yours as he slowly descends upon you, not breaking eye contact as you finally feel his tongue against your bare folds.

Back arched, you clutch his hair harder as you tilt your hips to match his movements, encouraging his tongue to reach deeper. Unlike you, he doesn’t hesitate to jump straight in, tongue breaching your hole with such ease, you’d think he’s done it a hundred times.

Wet, sloppy sounds fill the air as he starts to vehemently eat you out, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you feel the warm muscle dip in and out, and best of all, curl inside of you.

Eita savours the flavour of your arousal, a greedy part of him wanting more and more until he’s had his fill of you. With the faces you’re making, he knew that day would never come around, he’s already addicted to the feeling and taste of you.

Hands tightening their grip on fleshy part of your thighs, keeping your thighs apart to prevent them from crushing Semi’s head, you knew there's going be bruises there tomorrow. He chuckles when you moan at one particular tongue flick. The vibrations of him causes another moan to rip through you.

Long, calloused fingers soon join the fray, Semi apparently tiring of using just his tongue. Although you’re pretty sure his tongue alone would bring you to orgasm, but oh well, he can save that move for a rainy day.

Semi was a very skilled setter and musician, long and pretty fingers pair with amazing hand-eye coordination help with that, but this? His fingers felt phenomenal as callouses created the perfect amount of friction rubbing against your walls.

It wasn’t long between the synchronous actions between his skilled fingers and tongue that you felt your orgasm building up, hot and tingling. The thumb rubbing at your clitoris left you seeing literal stars, as you fail to keep your breathing under control.

Eita noted your arching back and trembling thighs and concluded that your orgasm was close. He paused his actions for a short second as he weighed his options. He could either continue and let you orgasm then fuck your brains out, or he could stop and watch you orgasm for the first time when he’s buried in you.

He resumed his movements for all of a second before your sharp shout of his name tore him from his thoughts. It seems that you spared him from making that hard decision, he mused.

To you, the orgasm seemingly came out of nowhere. It crested and washed throughout your entire body, filling it with an electrical zapping sensation, leaving your ears ringing. Mind filled with static, you could vaguely feel your body slip back onto the bench as your arms gave out on you.

Eita watched with glee as you came on his tongue and fingers, covering them with your juices. He removed his tongue and thickly swallowed at the sight of you splayed out in front of him with a blissed-out expression on your flushed face. It was so dirty, but so fucking hot. Eita knew the sight before him will help him through many a lonely night when he makes good use of his right hand.

When you come back to your senses, you have the pleasure of seeing Semi’s slick-slick face. He must not have been bothered enough to clean it off. Arms flexing, he props himself onto his elbows, lips only a breath away from yours.

Mouths meeting, you taste each other’s essence on your tongues. You never thought the taste of yourself on his tongue would be so hot, but you’re glad to be proven wrong in such a manner.

Legs parted around his body, Semi’s hand grabs your right leg and wraps it around his hips, not breaking the kiss. Tongues clashing, you grind up into him, relishing the feeling of his stiff dick pressing hard against where you wanted him the most.

Just half an hour ago you were stressing about Semi despising you and now here you were, spreading your legs like a seasoned whore for said male.

Smirking, his hips pin yours to the bench, his hard dick resting teasingly between your slick folds. Breaking the kiss, he smirks down at you, eyes filled with the promise of wrecking you. You could feel hot anticipation lick down your spine and coil tightly in your abdomen despite cumming only moments ago.

“Are you sure about this? I’m scared that once I start I won’t be able to stop myself.” He admits.

Reaching up, you brush the hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ear.

“I’ve been thinking about this moment for the past two years, I don’t think I could wait another second.”

You tense slightly as you feel his tip nudge at your entrance, forcibly trying to relax your muscles before he entered, otherwise the experience wouldn’t be enjoyable if you were too tight to enter.

Your teeth dig into your cheek as he slowly, but surely, enters you. Semi has to pause half-way through to gather his wits, with clenched teeth he reigns in his thoughts of just thrusting all the way home and ripping everything from you, tooth and nail.

A short eternity later, he’s finally seated fully inside of you. Testing yourself, you flutter your walls around the foreign body and feel warmth bubble up in your chest at the way Semi groans deeply in your ear.

“You feel so fucking good, you know that?” He slowly rolls his hips up into you, hoping you’ll give him the go ahead. Moaning at the sensation of his throbbing member buried deep inside of you, you quickly get used the feeling and start unthinkingly grinding up into him, giving him the nonverbal signal to start.

It’s only then that Eita starts fucking you exactly how you always imagined he’d take a lover, with ardent intensity and a single-minded determination to get you off before he finishes. The thought of what sweet expression you’ll have when you take his knot comes unbidden, making his dick twitch inside of you.

He hastens his pace, mouth latching on to the side of you neck once again, biting hard enough to make you gasp and tighten around him, setting him off and causing him bite down even harder. You could’ve sworn he drew blood, but honestly didn’t have the higher brain function to worry much about how you would go about trying to hide his marks for the next two weeks.

Digging your nails into Semi’s shoulder, you throw your head back in ecstasy as he miraculously hits your G-spot three times in a row. Toes-curling, you felt your orgasm swelling up within you, molten and mind-frazzling.

“Don’t – fuck – Don’t stop. Right there!” You gasp into the cool night air, hoping that his dick will go back to abusing the bundle of nerves.

Like a piston, he rapidly thrust his hips back and forth, watching as his dick gets swallowed up by your greedy wet hole. Slick pours out of you and drips onto his dick, smearing onto his sharp hip bones and the backs of your thighs every time he slams up into you.

“You feel so good, I want to stay buried in you forever. You’d let me do that, wouldn’t you baby?” He pants into the crook of your neck, hot breath washing over sensitive skin.

Groaning at the words, you clench around his length, nails digging into his shoulders as his pace starts to speed up again.

“You’d be so good for me; I mean look at you now. You look so pretty taking my cock like this, and your not even in a heat.”

You swear you could feel your soul ascend to the next dimension as he blows your mind – and back – out with his heaven-sent dick. Pulling him down you repay him in kind by biting and sucking a few marks of your own into his neck, the purples and pinks looking so pretty on his sun-tanned skin.

“I haven’t even started my rut yet, but you’re here you are about to get my knot. Look at what you’ve done to me, baby girl.” He groans, swapping out hard and fast thrust for long and deep ones.

Sure enough, you could feel the base of his dick swell with a pre-rut knot. Well damn. While it wasn’t unusual for that to happen out of a rut, it was uncommon enough for it to swell as large when not in a rut, so you grind even harder on him, hoping for it to catch.

Semi reaches down, blindly searching for your clit and rubbing it fervently once he located it, causing you to tighten considerably around him. Eita hisses at the vice-like grip you have on him, speeding up the short strokes of his thumb, hoping to push you over the edge before his already roiling orgasm crashes down on him.

His rutting hips don’t falter when the hot ball of liquid arousal exploded inside you. Another orgasm rushed through you, this time stealing your breath and causing you to see stars behind your eyelids, with your extremities going numb from the overwhelming sensation.

You come with his name on your lips, your walls constricting around his dick, slick gushing out around his dick, causing his hips to stutter as he hurriedly thrust back up into you with enough force for his knot to finally catch on your hole, swelling to lock the two of you together.

Eita comes with a feral shout, arms locking as he unloads inside of you, the residual fluttering of your walls from your orgasm milking his knot for all it had. He groaned at his prolonged orgasm, having never ejaculated for so long, he slumps his tired body over your prone body, nose buried in your soft hair.

Coming down from your high, you start blinking the dark spots out of your vision. The heavy weight of Semi resting on your chest becoming more apparent, as does the knot still inside of you, weakly pulsing out some more cum.

You shiver at the feeling of being so full. Fuck, you really could get used to this, knot pushed deep inside you, Semi snuggled up into you, skin flushed from exertion and painted in perspiration.

Waiting for the knot to go down, you brush a hand through his hair, while Semi draws spirals onto your bare shoulder.

“You’re so lucky I’m on the pill or we would have a huge issue on our hands.” You tug at his hair, admonishing him for his reckless actions. You had a plan after high school and it certainly didn’t involve a baby. While Semi has swept in and ruined most of those plans in one fell swoop, you refuse to let him saddle the both of you with that extra responsibility.

He props himself up and gives you the cutest little pout you’ve ever seen, looking very out of place on the usually severe-looking face.

“I knew you were on the pill. You were complaining the other month that it was making you gain weight ‘like super crazy easy’ if I remember right.” He teases, poking at your puffed-out cheeks.

“Well it’s fucking true! Why don’t you try taking some hormone drugs and see what it does to your metabolism.” You huff, ignoring his chuckling at your petulant tone. “Besides, that doesn’t really excuse the fact that we did it raw straight off the bat.”

Eita purses his lips. “True. I’m sorry, I could’ve taken the extra second to get a condom out of my bag.”

You pause, taking in his words. “It’s fine, that’s kinda on both of us. Also, why the hell are you carrying a condom around in your bag like it’s a pack of tissues?” He laughs at you, not even bothering to answer the question, much to your dismay.

The scent of a sated alpha flooded the room, pleasing a deep and primal part of you, leading you to give a pleased hum, changing the subject.

“Oh god, it stinks in here. We’re gonna have to open the windows to let some of it out.” You groan, throwing an arm across your eyes. The last thing you wanted to think about after coming twice in less than an hour was cleaning up the evidence of your tryst, so that the team didn’t find out.

Eita’s deep laughter fills the room, chasing away any insecurities you had about any regrets he may have had about tonight. Smiling, you wrap your arms around his snatched waist and lean up to scent him, rubbing your nose back and forth until your scent had taken root.

Satisfied, you leant back and admired your handy work. His scent gland was swollen and tinged pink, and most importantly, he smelt of you.

Eita’s eyes glint with humour as he closely regards your happy, sated expression.

“Probably not the right time to say this, but I really do love you, you know?” You could feel your heart flip within your chest, squeezing painfully at his soft, smitten tone.

“You’re right, probably not the best time to say it for the first time with your cum inside me, but I love you too, you idiot.” Blushing, Semi looks down at the mess between where your bodies met. Judging his knot was finished, he carefully pulled out. You shiver at the sensation of his cum slowly drizzling out of you, feeling weirdly empty now that he’s not inside you.

Getting up, he rushes over to the pile of clean towels you brought in, came back and started gently cleaning the both of you up.

After trading a couple dozen stolen kisses between cleaning up the bodily fluids off of the bench and yourselves, laughing at Semi’s comment of never being able to look at that bench ever again without getting a boner. You have never so light and elated in your life.

Notes: I was originally planning on Semi dragging reader to his room and having his wicked wicked way with her for the whole weekend, to ride out his rut but then I thought that you can never go wrong with good ol' locker room sex. Critiques, comments and notes are always appreciated!!

#haikyuu!!#semi x reader #semi x you #shiratorizawa #reader insert #semi eita x reader #haikyuu reader insert #a/b/o au #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! fic #haikyu!! x reader #semi eita

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docholligay · 4 years ago

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State of the Baby Union

It’s been nearly two months since I had Jewlet, and there’s a number of things that I’ve observed, learned, or otherwise experienced since then. This exists, so I can share them with you: Is this going to be useful to anyone? What will this look like? I have no idea.

The good:

It’s remarkable how much of a help Jill is, and how much she’s stepped up to the plate in all this. It’s particularly striking to me when I’m on mom’s groups or talking to other women who are married to men, and realize the MAJORITY VAST VAST MAJORITY of men don’t take on hardly anything for the baby. They don’t get up at night with the baby, they don’t take on extra chores around the house, they believe it’s their god-given right to come home and have ‘leisure time” some of them even get JEALOUS of the attention the baby is getting. My wife works overnights. Every night she has off? What is technically her weekend? She gets up with the baby instead of me. Her ‘weekend’? Is my Monday and Tuesday. She takes the baby all day so I can work (Except today when she is volunteering at the zoo, doing a checkup on the wolverines) anyway I’m very lucky to have her, and I love watching her with the baby, she’s a wonderful mother. She’s so loving and sweet. Jill has always been far more maternal than I am, which is not to say I’m a bad mother, but simply that the sweet soft mommy thing is definitely her ahaha. I love her now more than I did before, even, and I know having a first child strains a lot of marriages but it’s made ours even stronger.

Special shoutout to Teddy Nick, also, who has taken such an active role in Jewlet’s life. I expected help from her! This in itself was not a shock. But I have been so surprised by how much she has been willing and able to do, extra, stupid things that I don’t even need but are very well liked, such as sitting with Jewlet at night sometimes so I can take a bath. That kind of extra shit! I am spoiled immensely. She’s got Jewlet in the wrap right now for the simple reason that it’s easier for her to type with it on than it is for me (I am smol, and my setup doesn’t support a large amount of space between me and the desk). I never expected her to do THIS much, and I’m very very lucky.

Jewlet is becoming a real person! She smiles at me, and laughs, and stretches so cute in the morning and it’s starting to feel more like interacting with someone rather than being acted upon. It’s made such a difference in my mood, just because she can realistically interact with me in a way she couldn’t before. Her little happy baby noises are so cute, and I can see her turning into Midge the person. It’s delightful every day to get to see how she’s coming along, the person she’s going to be and it’s exciting too! There’s so many things I want to show her and share with her, and as much as I love her now, every day lets me know we’re closer and closer to when I can show her and teach her things.

JEWLET SLEEPS SO MUCH BETTER AT NIGHT THAN WE HAVE ANY RIGHT TO EXPECT. She can be a real pill during the day sometimes and that’s frustrating when I’m trying to get things done but she refuses to be put down, but at night? She’ll routinely, not every single night, but OFTEN, sleep from 9-3, which means I have my half hour to read at night and then also actually get some goddamn sleep. It’s miraculous.

The bad:

Holy shit is it difficult to get anything done. I started writing this post at 9:30 am, it’s now 12:30. I have cried so often over the raw frustration of trying to manage having an infant and pumping and doing my job and I am more stressed out than I have ever been in my life over the sheer volume of shit I CAN’T get done right now. I’m so used to being together and having my life in order and having time for things. It’s STARTING to get better, as we work out a routine, Jewlet gets SLIGHTLY more likely to let me put her down for five minutes, and Jetty and I start alternating our schedules so there’s always one of us to watch Jewlet. But it’s hard, it’s so hard. (On that note, if I owe you something, we’ll pick it up in the next few months, as things get worked out. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE)

I don’t have time for things! I miss doing my little craft projects and art stuff, I want to start running and working out, and only recently have managed to carve time out to read. It’s really wearing, and I see how women can fall into making their baby their whole personality, because what else can you do? It’s so hard to keep any of the things you loved going, and I have a ton of help compared to other people. It feels so dehumanizing sometimes.

Sometimes I just cried in the last six weeks because I couldn’t get her to stop crying, or I missed being able to simply clean the house, or I felt unappreciated for what I CAN do, or my feelings got hurt badly. Sometimes I feel everyone is better at juggling all this than I am, at being a mother and working and keeping a home.

The ugly:

I had a REAL HARD post labor situation, and it took weeks to resolve at all. I still have some symptoms and difficulties and pain, and it’s annoying and it make things even harder for me emotionally, because I not only have the reality of struggling with my new time based reality, but also my physical reality, which I am utterly unwilling to accept as a long term thing and am going to keep working against. I desperately want the athletic, conditioned body I had back, which could do so much for so long with such balance and flexibility (and also fit all my motherfucking clothes).

I think that’s generally the hardest part, is finding MYSELF in my new reality. I sound ungrateful, and I don’t mean to, but I think more than anyone in the family, I’ve had to drop a lot of balls lately, and it’s hard! I can’t wait till I’m back up to making all my cards, and writing, and cooking elaborate things, and all of those things that make me ME. I miss myself, in some ways, as dumb as that sounds.

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sapphirestarxx · 4 years ago

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Testing the Waters

Find it on AO3!

This is a birthday fic for the wonderful @neutronstarchild!! The Inuyasha fandom is so lucky to have someone like her. She’s a joy to talk to, so supportive, and full of incredible ideas!! She requested MirSan from me and I did my best to deliver. Thanks to @fawn-eyed-girl for being awesome and beta reading for me!

SUMMARY: Miroku likes Sango. Sango is unconvinced. Sometimes it takes a wardrobe malfunction at a waterpark to bring two people together.

Pairings: MirSan, minor InuKag

***

The day had started with so much potential, but Sango was now less than optimistic.

She sighed, putting her purse and clothes away into a locker in the women’s changing room. They had just arrived at the waterpark about ten minutes ago, but she already wanted to leave. She straightened the strings on her bikini, regretting wearing something so revealing. Although, she acknowledged, it was modest compared to some of the things the other girls around her were wearing. Maybe if she wasn’t so self-conscious about some of her more...generous attributes, she wouldn’t care as much.

And maybe if a certain someone wasn’t there too.

Pink triangular cups covered her breasts in a halter style, coming to tie around her neck and back. Rather than a traditional bikini cut for the bottoms, the ones she wore resembled boy shorts, something she was much more comfortable in. She knew her bottom half was a bit on the heftier side and she liked the extra coverage it provided.

“You ready yet, Kagome?” she called, trying to keep the annoyance from her tone.

“Just a second!” Kagome called back.

Kagome had invited her to go swimming but neglected to mention that Kagome’s boyfriend, and more importantly, his best friend, would be joining them. She had nothing against Inuyasha, but Miroku was a different story.

When Kagome had started dating Inuyasha several months ago, it wasn’t long until she had started trying to make half of their hangouts a group event, mostly in an effort to get Sango to know her boyfriend better. Sango also suspected she was trying to play matchmaker. Because the flipside was that Inuyasha often brought his own friend Miroku with him, supposedly to allow the flirt to get to know Kagome better too, since things were getting so serious between them.

However, Miroku had been more interested in familiarizing himself with Sango.

Because he was a flirt, constantly finding new and inventive ways to ask her out. He’d at least had the courtesy to wait until their third meeting before attempting to make a move. And maybe if Sango had thought he was serious about her she’d have considered giving him a chance-- although she was reluctant to admit it, she couldn’t deny her own attraction to him. But she was convinced he was just flirting with her for kicks. His charm had been a little too calculated, a little too insincere, for her to truly believe it.

Even if part of her wanted to.

“Why the frown?” Kagome asked cheerfully, coming up beside Sango to loop their arms together. She led them out into the sunshine where the men were waiting. Sango followed unenthusiastically.

“You know why,” Sango replied, refusing to be swayed by her best friend’s bright smile.

“Oh, come on, don’t be mad at me.”

“You never mentioned the guys were going to be coming, too.”

“Why is that a problem?” Kagome asked innocently.

Sango wasn't fooled. “He’s not serious about it and I don’t want to spend the whole day fending off his one-liners, Kagome.”

“Miroku hasn’t even flirted with you that much recently.”

“It’s still enough to be annoying.”

It was true, Miroku had eased up on the flirting, although it hadn't completely stopped. His words used to have a practiced smoothness that made her roll her eyes, but now she was starting to see a more genuine side to him. A side that actually made her like him, despite her best efforts not to. It almost made her question if she had been wrong about him, but she never allowed herself to pursue that train of thought. She was just his favorite game to play and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of winning. Victory would taste sweet to him, but feel far too hollow to her when he inevitably grew bored of his prize.

Sango valued herself more than that.

No matter how she actually felt about him. Which was, perhaps, the real reason she disliked being around him so much. Sooner or later she would slip and he would know.

Kagome shook her head, seeming to read Sango’s mind with her next words. “Miroku likes you. And I mean likes you. Inuyasha says he’s never seen him this into someone before, you know. I wish you wouldn’t be so stubborn, because I’m pretty sure you like him too.”

“Then maybe he should try something new,” Sango retorted.

“He could go about it in a better way,” Kagome agreed with a slight wince.

Sango didn't reply as they walked through the crowd of people and approached the two men who had already claimed a set of reclining chairs. Instead, she gently extricated herself from Kagome's grasp and double-checked the high ponytail she'd pulled her long, dark brown hair into, making sure it was secure. As Inuyasha and Miroku turned their eyes upon them, Sango shifted the towel in her arms in an effort to hide as much of herself from view as possible.

As if that could save her modesty.

Inuyasha’s golden eyes turned heated at the sight of Kagome in her own jade green bikini, complete with ruffled bottoms. Kagome smiled sweetly in return, the black waves of her hair fluttering gently in a warm breeze. All around them came the sound of conversation, water splashing, and loud calls of excitement, but for those two it was like the rest of the world had fallen away.

Sango felt a slight twinge of jealousy, envious of what they had found in each other.

"Sorry to make you wait!" Kagome chirped brightly, and Inuyasha's default surly expression transformed into a loving smile.

"Keh. Took ya long enough," he grumbled, but the affection in his voice was unmistakable.

While both guys were dressed in swim trunks and cut an attractive figure, Sango couldn’t seem to keep her gaze from wandering to Miroku. Her heart started to beat faster as her eyes took him in, feeling a tightening in her stomach. It was impossible not to note, or appreciate, how defined and toned every muscle on his lean body was. Swallowing, she managed to drag her eyes back to his face, the amusement in his indigo eyes making her blush and scowl.

"Sango, my dear. Like what you see?" He teased.

"Not particularly," she lied.

His answering grin was all the proof she needed to know that he saw right through her. It was frustrating.

Giving Sango a playful nudge with her elbow, Kagome set her poolside bag down and dug through it for a moment, unearthing a bottle of sunscreen. She handed it to Inuyasha and turned her back to him, gathering her hair around a fist and lifting it up.

“Do my back, please,” she requested.

“Yeah, yeah. Shit, this reeks of coconut.” Inuyasha scrunched up his nose, taking the bottle from her without further complaint and setting to work. Despite his gruffness, he clearly didn’t consider his task a chore, if the softness in his eyes or gentle way he kneaded the sunscreen into Kagome’s back was anything to go by.

“It smells amazing,” Kagome insisted.

“You smell better,” Inuyasha said.

Sango looked away from them, taking the opportunity to set her own stuff down, all the while refusing to meet Miroku’s eyes. She was nervous to see the way he would undoubtedly drink her in with his gaze, and could already feel his eyes on her back. It made her feel self-conscious, but in a strangely gratifying way. Her suspicions were confirmed when she turned back around, but she still wasn’t quite prepared for the appreciative way his eyes traveled up her body, or his slightly open-mouthed stare.

"Wow," he said.

"Stop staring at me like that," she snapped, feeling herself flush as butterflies stirred to life in her belly at the look in his eyes. She liked it a little too much, and that wasn’t good at all. It made her feel off balance and out of sorts, something that was dangerous around a guy like him, mostly because it might push her into giving in.

"It's only fair, isn't it? After all, you checked me out. Double standards," Miroku pointed out with an easy smile.

"I did not!"

"It's okay, I don't mind if you objectify me," he winked. "In fact, I insist upon it."

"Oh, shut up." A stunning comeback.

“No need to be shy about it,” Miroku laughed. “Want me to apply some sunscreen to your back too? It would be a shame to let that lovely body of yours burn.”

“Not necessary,” Sango said quickly. “I already put some on.”

“She’s lying,” Kagome told him. “Please put some on her, Miroku.”

“Kagome!” Sango yelped. That traitor. She had planned to have Kagome do it, but clearly her friend had other ideas. Like using this as an opportunity to push her and Miroku together. She knew Kagome meant well, but that didn’t ease the sting of annoyance.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, choosing not to comment. He knew his girlfriend was up to something, but as long as it didn’t directly affect him then he was keeping his nose out of it. Plus, she had probably already informed him of her little scheme and bribed him to go along with it.

“It’s just sunscreen, Sango. Don’t be so stubborn.” Kagome let her hair fall back down as Inuyasha finished and handed the sunscreen off to Miroku. She gave Sango a bright smile. “Inuyasha and I are going to go get some drinks. We’ll be right back.”

“Wait, but--” Sango cut off with a sigh as they walked off, leaving her alone with Miroku. She glanced over at him and he raised the sunscreen bottle with a smile, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“What will it be? Come on, I’m not so bad,” he coaxed.

“Fine. But watch where you put your hands,” she conceded, shooting him a warning glare before turning her back to him.

��I’ll behave myself,” he assured her, grinning.

Sango was acutely aware of his presence as he came to stand behind her. She reached back to drape her ponytail over her shoulder to keep it out of the way. The pop of the sunscreen bottle opening almost made her jump and she tensed in anticipation. Despite her protests, she wanted his hands on her more than she was willing to admit.

Then his hands were on her and she exhaled in a rush, releasing the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. As his fingers pressed into her shoulders she couldn’t suppress a shiver.

“Sorry, I know it’s cold,” he apologized, misinterpreting the reason for her very physical reaction to him.

“It’s okay,” she managed, her voice coming out a little breathless.

He hummed in acknowledgement, gradually working his way from her shoulders to the middle of her back. He took his time, palms slowly smoothing over her and rubbing the sunscreen into her skin with firm strokes. Her heart skipped a beat when his fingers gently slipped themselves under the strings of her bikini so as not to miss a spot. It sparked a warm glow that settled in her chest, creating a pleasant tingle everywhere his hands passed over. Between the heat of the sun and the heat growing inside of her, a sense of languor washed through her and she couldn’t help but relax against him. It just felt so...nice.

“I like that color on you,” Miroku said conversationally.

“I...what?” Sango blinked.

“Your swimsuit,” he clarified, sounding amused at his obvious effect on her. “It suits you. It’s strong but feminine. Like you.”

The compliment warmed her and she wanted to believe that he meant it. It sounded like he did. His voice was low and close to her ear, almost intimate. She swallowed. Words. She needed to say words. But the way his hands felt on her skin was distracting and made thinking difficult, which was probably why the next thing out of her mouth wasn't a cutting reply.

“Thank you...I think.”

“You think?”

“I…” Sango trailed off as his hands moved to her sides and caressed their way down to her waist, his fingers rubbing circles and making her feel things she wasn’t supposed to feel for him. He continued kneading the lotion into her, his palms coming to rest at the small of her back and dangerously close to her ass. She held her breath, her veins thick with the pleasure spreading through her. Her heart pounded and she closed her eyes, leaning back against him.

Then snapped them open when she realized what she was doing. Oh God.

She jumped away and her cheeks flamed crimson.

Miroku looked surprised for a moment then smirked, letting out a chuckle. She cursed herself-- she couldn’t have been more obvious. It was getting harder to hide what he did to her and for a moment she considered being honest. But no matter what Kagome said, there was no guarantee that Miroku’s feelings for her were genuine, and she wasn’t ready to take that chance just yet.

“That’s good enough,” she said, looking away from his knowing gaze.

“Hmm. You’re already looking a little red,” he observed teasingly.

“I’m just hot. You’re imagining it,” she mumbled.

“I couldn’t agree more-- you absolutely are hot. I would even go so far as to say stunning. And I can assure you, I am not imagining that.”

His words broke the spell his touch had invoked and she rolled her eyes.

“Save the smooth words for someone who cares.”

“So you think I’m smooth.” He was as undeterred as ever.

“That’s not what I meant!”

Miroku just grinned, then held out the bottle of sunscreen to her. “Care to return the favor?”

Sango sighed, pursing her lips. “Turn around.”

It was going to be a long day.

****

An hour or so later, Sango was actually enjoying herself (for the most part). Inuyasha and Kagome had returned shortly after, bottles of water in hand, along with a giant cup of banana split Dippin Dots and four spoons. After that, they headed into the water, Kagome voting to hit up the lazy river first. Miroku had looked at Sango with a secret little smile the whole time and Sango had done her best to ignore it and everything it meant. Which was why she had claimed the spot by Kagome’s side in an effort to avoid him as much as possible, something that only made the looks he aimed her way even worse.

He could get under her skin like no one else.

Inuyasha had scoffed that the lazy river was boring, but Sango was pretty sure that was just because he was stuck with Miroku. Kagome had archly replied that he and Miroku could find something else to do in the meantime if he disliked it so much, but “the girls” were going to get some sun and relax.

Now, she and Kagome were in line to go down the biggest waterslide the waterpark had to offer. Kagome was bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement and Sango smiled, shifting the giant two-person raft in her arms as they waited their turn. Inuyasha and Miroku had already gone down a few people ahead of them and were waiting for them at the bottom.

“Something happened with Miroku, didn’t it.” Kagome didn’t even make it a question.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sango knew what was coming and decided to play dumb.

“I saw the way you were blushing earlier when Inuyasha and I came back from leaving you two alone. And the way he was looking at you.”

“Nothing happened. He just put sunscreen on my back and I put some on his.”

“Mhmm,” Kagome said, unconvinced. “If you say so.

“Why are you so bent on pushing us together?”

Kagome sighed and looked into Sango’s eyes, her expression earnest. “Because, Sango, I know you like him. You may think you’re good at hiding it, but I can tell you have some feelings for him, and he likes you too. And when two people like each other, it’s incredibly dumb for them to not just be together when there’s no good reason they shouldn’t.

“Also, I’ve seen the way you look at me and Inuyasha when you think I’m not paying attention, the wistful expression you get on your face. And I want you to be happy too, and be able to share that kind of happiness with someone else.”

Sango bit her lip, moved by Kagome’s honesty but also a little frustrated. “What’s the point, Kagome? I’m just a challenge to Miroku. You’re right; I like him. A lot. Which is why I get so annoyed with him, since I’m mostly just annoyed at myself for being so into him. Because I’m smart enough to know how it will end.”

“You don’t know it will,” Kagome shot back.

“You don’t know it won’t.”

“Why are you so convinced he doesn’t mean it? I mean I can kind of understand thinking that in the beginning, but now?”

“I don’t know,” Sango said honestly. Her reasons had always seemed so valid to her, but now she was wondering if it was just an excuse. Or maybe the heat of the sun was just getting to her. Still… “Maybe you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Kagome beamed.

Sango didn’t reply because they were up next. The sound of rushing water from the slide permeated the air and would have drowned out any words she had to say anyways. She tuned out the practiced spiel of instructions the person manning the waterslide was rattling off as she set their float down and Kagome situated herself in the back with Sango taking the front.

“Okay ladies. Have fun!” The person finished, then gave them a push and they were off.

Kagome let out a shriek of excitement and Sango grinned in spite of herself as the raft was carried away by the currents of water, propelling them down the slide at high velocity. The raft swayed, riding up onto the sides of the waterslide at each fast turn, making Sango feel exhilarated. Kagome grabbed onto her from behind, giggling as they rushed towards the bottom.

“This is so fun!!” She cheered.

Sango agreed, letting out a whoop as the end approached.

Then they were crashing back into the pool with so much force Sango found herself submerged for a moment. When she broke the surface of the water, it took a second for her to regain her bearings. Once her senses returned, she heard Kagome’s excited chatter to Inuyasha over to the side, where they all stood in the pool, out of the way of people still coming down the slide. She waded towards them, a sudden gust of wind raising goosebumps on her wet skin. Kagome turned her way, a radiant smile on her face, before her expression became frozen. Miroku was also staring at her, looking dumbfounded, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

That was when Sango realized her bikini top had gone missing.

"Oh shit," Inuyasha said, turning red and looking away.

Sango let out an embarrassed yelp, her arms coming up in an effort to cover herself as she lowered herself back into the water. Oh God, oh God, oh God. A flush heated her cheeks, making them burn so hot it almost felt like her face was on fire. Maybe if she was lucky she would spontaneously combust and be spared from the rest of this nightmare. And that’s what it was, because this was not happening. She stared fixedly downwards, as if her feet were the most fascinating thing in the world.

She heard voices around her, some of them male, and her self-consciousness intensified.

“Dude, did you see that?”

“Damn look at that girl over there.”

“Holy shit!”

Sango tried to tune them out, almost paralyzed in her mortification. And then Miroku was there in front of her, pulling her up and against him. She was so surprised she didn’t have it in her to resist as he crushed her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, shielding her from the eyes of all the onlookers.

“Oh my God,” she whispered against his neck. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to cover it.

“It’s alright, I won’t let anyone else see,” he murmured.

An obstinate part of her wanted to pull away because of the intimacy of it all. She was half naked and pressed up against his naked chest, and his arms felt entirely too good around her. But that was silly, especially when he clearly had good intentions. And to be honest, she hadn’t expected such a move from him, which was probably a bit unfair of her. Then again, maybe she had been unfair in a lot of things she’d thought about him. She breathed deep, attempting to calm her racing heart, and found reassurance in his presence.

The nervousness she felt now was for an entirely different reason.

“Let’s just go over here where there are less people,” Miroku suggested, his voice sounding a bit strained. Sango wondered at that, but then Kagome was beside them.

“Oh my God. Sango, hey. I’m gonna look for your top, and Inuyasha is gonna try and keep people away until I find it,” her best friend informed her, sounding concerned.

Sango nodded against Miroku’s chest, refusing to look up and see the reactions of everyone around them. Despite her reluctance, she couldn’t help but be curious as to what expression Miroku was wearing now. Or if it matched the way his voice had sounded. She rested her forehead on his shoulder, reminded again of how tall he was, and how warm his skin felt against hers. Everything she tried so hard to not notice about him was suddenly impossible to ignore.

“Sounds good,” she managed.

Miroku drifted to the side, entering a deeper part of the pool that gave them more privacy, and Sango allowed herself to be led along. Their toes still touched the bottom, but the water now came up to her shoulders, which somehow made her feel more secure. She vaguely heard Inuyasha snarling at some people to stay away, and that would have made her smile if she wasn’t still so on edge over feeling her naked chest rubbing against Miroku’s and oh God she was never going to get past that detail.

When Miroku stopped she finally chanced a glance, peering up at him through her eyelashes. She tried to be as discreet as possible, not daring to separate herself from him too much lest she expose herself to him again-- one time was too many, thank you very much. Although he likely knew exactly what she was doing, he was polite enough to pretend not to notice. And if his arms tightened around her and slid down her back just a little more, then...that was fine, too.

It was hard to tell, but his face looked like it might be a bit flushed, and she wondered if it was really possible that she had such an effect on him. And that if the things he said to her, however ridiculous at times, were words he actually meant . It made something inside of her soften, even as another part of her twisted in anxiety. Her feelings were all in knots where he was concerned and she didn't like it.

"I bet you're enjoying this."

The words came out with more bite than Sango had intended, making her cringe. He was being nice, protective even, and she was being abrasive. Ugh, what was wrong with her? She heard him sigh, felt it in the way his chest expanded and contracted against her body.

"When you came out of the water, dripping and looking like some beautiful siren from the sea coming to lure me to my death...well, I'd have gone willingly and died a happy man," he confessed. "I'm sorry you're in such an embarrassing situation, but I'm not sorry to be the one who gets to help you. In fact, I find myself very grateful."

"Oh," she said. Then, before she could stop herself, “So you definitely saw, then.”

Not that there had been any doubt.

Miroku chuckled and she could hear the timbre of it wash over her, feel the vibrations of it in his chest, making her own tingle appreciatively. It made her breathing hitch for a moment before she sternly told herself to get it together. But it was hard, with all his skin pressed up against hers, and all her pent up feelings for him slipping past the barriers she had carefully erected.

“Oh, I definitely did. And you, my dear, are glorious,” Miroku said unapologetically.

Sango wanted to be offended, but somehow all she could feel was... flattered at his honesty, despite the painful awkwardness of it all. Then one of his hands was reaching up to gently pull the elastic from her ponytail, letting her hair hang free down her back. His fingers worked themselves into the wet mass of her hair, stroking through the tangles and making her shiver at how good it felt.

“Wh-what are you doing?” she sputtered, tensing because she wasn’t prepared for the things it was doing to her.

“Relax. With your hair down it won’t be as obvious to anyone looking that you’ve lost your top,” he replied, sounding amused.

“That...actually makes sense,” she admitted, grateful for his smart thinking.

His hand continued to brush through her hair and she felt hot in a way that had nothing to do with the sun beating down on them. Despite everything, she found herself actually relaxing against him, lulled into a sense of calm by his touch. She closed her eyes for a moment, drinking it in. Slowly, she released her grip on herself and let her arms come around him instead, feeling the muscles of his back under her fingertips. The motion made her inadvertently rub herself against him and he let out a choked groan.

“S-Sango?”

She didn’t reply, the words she wanted to say catching in her throat, so she laid her head against his chest, leaning into him. It allowed her to hear the rhythm of his heart, and how fast it was beating. It was so uncharacteristic of how she usually thought of him-- cool, calm, collected. That he was capable of being flustered too, somehow it thrilled her and made her own heart start to pound. She began to shift in his embrace when suddenly his arms around her tightened, keeping her in place.

“Sango...please stop moving,” Miroku said, his voice sounding strangled.

She froze, confused by his request, her mind still in a haze. “Are you really going to complain about me hugging you?”

He took a shuddering breath. “It’s not that. I’m thrilled but... another part of me is thrilled, too.”

Oh. Oh.

“M-Miroku!”

She flushed at the implication, her nipples tightening at the thought of... that. A wave of embarrassment crashed into her, and with it came the urge to move and squirm. She resisted the impulse, knowing it would undoubtedly only make things worse. Where the hell is Kagome? she thought a little wildly. Because as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t fault Miroku for the very physical way he was reacting to her; he was only human and their position was rather...compromising.

“I’d have to be a saint to remain unaffected by all of this.” Miroku’s voice was husky, his desire for her unmistakable.

She was suddenly acutely aware of the hardness of his erection pressing into her and heat shot through her, lighting every nerve ending on fire with want. Oh no. Oh no. She should say something, anything, because oh God this was too much. “I--I’m sorry, it’s just--”

As if waiting for such a moment, a wave flowed through the water and pushed into her, causing her to sway into him. And into the evidence of how much he wanted her. She couldn’t stop herself from shifting in his arms this time, biting her lip against a gasp as the motion rubbed their skin together and her nipples tingled appreciatively. An answering ache, soft as a whisper, pulsed at her core.

This was bad.

Miroku groaned, one of his hands dipping below the water to land on her thigh, squeezing. Before Sango could voice any outrage over the uninvited touch, he used his grip to gently push her away, attempting to reestablish some distance between them. Allowing herself to be nudged back the slightest bit, she peeked up at him. His face was composed but there was a slight flush over his cheekbones and a firm set to his mouth, his eyes looking straight ahead rather than down at her.

He was trying so hard to be respectful.

And that made her like him so much more. Want him so much more.

“Fuck,” he breathed, closing his eyes in an obvious effort to get himself back under control. “Seeing you basically naked, feeling your chest against mine, it isn’t exactly something I can ignore, you know. Especially when I’m so crazy about you.”

“I know. And thank you,” she said softly. “For...I don’t know. Swooping in to save me. Being surprisingly considerate. Being you. ”

He let out a laugh. “That’s surprising, since you act like you don’t like me very much.”

And that was true. In an effort to keep herself from getting caught up in something that had the potential to hurt her, she’d just pushed him away when all she really wanted was to pull him close. No matter how annoying he could be at times. The words that didn’t want to come earlier were now spilling past her lips before she could think about it.

“That’s not true. That’s not true at all. In fact, it’s the opposite. At first, I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I--”

Kagome chose that moment to reappear.

“Finally!! Took me forever cuz some kid found it and decided it was his new favorite toy, then I had to go find his mother and...” Kagome paused, as if sensing she had stumbled upon a private moment. “I’m interrupting something, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Miroku replied without hesitation, making Sango shoot him a glare he couldn’t see. “But,” he went on in a pleasant voice, “it’s fine. We can continue this conversation afterwards. Right, Sango?”

“R-right,” she agreed. She turned her head, looking away from Miroku’s chest to meet Kagome’s very knowing stare. Kagome was grinning, her cinnamon eyes sparkling in delight. That wasn't surprising; this was exactly what she’d wanted. Sango sighed and held out a hand for her top. “Thank you, Kagome.”

“Of course. I’m just gonna go wait over there with Inuyasha.” Kagome gave her a wink, handing the article of clothing off before swimming away.

Then they were alone again. Sango swallowed, her nervousness returning.

“Go ahead and put it back on,” Miroku said with a slight smile. “Don’t worry, as much as I'd love to look I’ll keep my eyes closed until you tell me to open them again.”

“You better,” Sango mumbled back with a scowl. “I mean it.”

He sighed, as if he was misunderstood. Sango didn't buy it for an instant.

She pulled away, taking a moment to make sure his eyes were indeed closed. True to his word, they remained firmly shut, and the corners of his mouth curved into a smirk, as if he knew she was double checking. Giving a slight huff of annoyance, she moved quickly, looping her bikini top over her head until the back tie was snug around her middle. Although she trusted him to keep his word, her eyes kept flitting back to his face as she fitted the cups securely over her breasts. The tie around her neck had come undone and she struggled for a moment with all her hair in the way.

When she was all done she glanced back at him again, unable to keep a wry smile from her face at his good behavior. Gliding through the water, she stopped in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders. His smile widened but he still didn’t open his eyes, waiting for her permission. That didn’t stop his arms from wrapping back around her or one of his hands from resting low on her back, his thumb drawing a line along the hem of her swimsuit bottoms.

As her eyes traced the lines of his face they inevitably landed on the curve of his lips. Her heart started to pound as her stomach filled with butterflies. This was crazy. But somehow, it felt right.

And she felt ready to take a chance on him.

Sango leaned in and kissed him.

Miroku inhaled sharply, his hands tightening their hold on her as he kissed her back. It was soft and gentle, and his lips were supple and warm beneath hers. Warmth bloomed inside her at the taste of him, making her feel like she was floating. His mouth moved against hers slowly, taking his time, demanding nothing but leaving her with a promise for more. It was perfect.

When she pulled back a blush colored her cheeks as she braced herself for the words she was about to say. Somehow this was easier with his eyes closed.

“I do like you, Miroku. You annoy me, you’re ridiculous and a little perverted, a shameless flirt. But...you also make me smile and you’re sweet and charming and supportive and...I like you. I like you so much it’s irritating. And not as a friend, but as...something more.”

Miroku's smile grew with each word she spoke until he was grinning widely. “Can I open my eyes now?”

“Um, yes. It’s okay now.”

“Good,” he said, opening his eyes, “because I want to look at you when I say this.”

Miroku’s indigo eyes gleamed at her in a way that made her heart skip a beat. Sango licked her lips, nervous and excited.

“Say what?”

“That I adore you, Sango. You constantly keep me on my toes and keep me in check. You’re strong. Independent. Beautiful beyond comparison.” His hand came up to cup her cheek as he spoke, the touch grounding her as her feelings for him threatened to carry her away.

“You really mean that,” she said, feeling his sincerity. There was something about the honesty of his words that made her appreciate his confession so much more than any of his previous, more practiced attempts. It might not have been as smooth but it was more heartfelt.

“I really do,” he confirmed, a tender note in his voice.

“Ask me again,” she said suddenly.

He blinked, his confusion apparent. “Ask you what?”

“The question you always ask me. Ask me again.”

Understanding dawned and he laughed. “Will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” she smiled, her body humming with happiness. “I’d love to.”

****

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#Inuyasha fanfiction #Inuyasha fanfic #MirSan fanfic #MirSan #Miroku x Sango #Testing the Waters #Kagome loves to play matchmaker #Miroku wants Sango #Sango is annoyed but secretly wants him too

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blissfulsun · 4 years ago

Text

Another angsty fic per some of ur lovely requests🥺❣️✨

Out of Love // Jeff Wittek

You watch him closely from behind the cameras, heart rattling in your rib cage.

It’s the only time he appears as something other than indifferent, glimpses of a smile that brightens the room, real laughter which travels.

Your own smile falling into a slight frown as the thoughts spin into overdrive.

Things were different between you somehow, Jeff’s behaviour cold and every attempt at reconnection ignored as days went on.

He got bored with you, you aren’t what he wants, your mind bounces around in this negative spiral, cut off by one of the crew members wrapping up the particular episode.

The two of you don’t exchange a word, not while you help clean up & take some things back upstairs or when everyone else leaves, the silence stretching on.

‘I’m going to shower’ his words are mumbled, sight set on the stairs.

‘You are avoiding me’ your tone is soft, it’s hard to tell which one of you is more shocked by your words.

Jeff turns around and you wonder which will it be tonight? Denial or honesty? both prospects clouding your vision with tears you blink away.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about y/n...’ he’s careful as if calming down a wild animal.

Y/n, a name which your boyfriend rarely used in the past, terms of endearment leaving his mouth so often you'd sometimes forget what it sounds like as it rolls off his tongue. The half assed reply met with a scoff.

‘It wasn’t a question Jeff...’ He finally faces you properly, stepping off the first stair and closer in the room.

There’s a vivid contrast between Jeff’s mask of indifference and the anger & confusion clouding your own pretty features.

For a second, he almost breaks at the storm of emotion passing through your eye.

It feels like a lifetime has passed, staring at each other as if that might solve everything, give the answers you seek but he’s unwilling to offer up.

The relationship a failed compromise of too much taking and not enough sacrifice.

There’s so much you want to ask but your mind can’t fathom how his brown eyes reflect such an unfamiliar look, he feels like a stranger.

You swallow, feet moving to pace around the expanse of the living room all the while Jeff sits down on the couch.

‘When was the last time you kissed me? you finally look at him again.

Jeff frowns, brows furrowed as he ponders the question. It couldn’t be later than this morning, right? His mind draws a blank.

‘Alright I’ll rephrase, when did you stop kissing me? When did we start feeling more like a chore that’s too fucking time consuming than spending time with the person you’re meant to love?’ he’s shocked at the outburst, eyes tracing the tears that begin to fall down your face.

This is meant to be that eye opening moment, an epiphany of the chance to make things right.

He knows, sees it in the way your lips tremble and hands shake in fists.

‘What do you want from me? I’m sorry we’re not still in the honeymoon phase where I pretend that half the things you do don’t drive me fucking insane y/n.’ is what leaves his mouth instead of an apology.

You swallow and nod, the words hurt him to say but not as much as they’re painful to hear.

Don’t expect shit and you won’t be disappointed, the reminder stings while you’re the only to climb the stairs this time.

Jeff groans behind you, feet scrambling to follow in your path.

‘What are you doing? Y/n?!’ there’s no answer as you speed up, skipping every second step to get to the bedroom faster.

Once inside you search frantically through your shared wardrobe, hands grabbing the first bag you find.

Jeff stands watching this in the doorway, previous frustration replaced with confusion and underlying fear as you begin to systematically pack away clothes in the medium sized luggage.

‘What are you doing? Where..where are you going?’ he finally asks. There’s no answer as you make your way to the bathroom next.

‘Stop. Please don’t shut me out. Yell at me, scream, baby anything...’ Jeff begs.

Your own shoulders shake with tremors as you try and find your hairbrush in the mess on the counter.

Fingers grasp at your waist and interrupt the search, body met with Jeff’s larger frame turning you around and pulling you into a forced embrace.

‘Baby...I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I - I shouldn’t have said any of that earlier, I know I’ve been a dick lately’ he stops his hopeless rambling when your smaller hands push at his chest to pull away from the suffocating grasp.

‘Jeff I- I’m not leaving’ he’s confused, fingers still grasping at your clothes as you look up and sigh.

‘I just...I was going to stay at Corinna’s for a couple of days while we figure our shit out’ he’s shaking his head in protest, bodies colliding again when he pulls you back into his solid frame.

‘I don’t want that, I don’t want that’ your boyfriend protests, words whispered like a mantra into your hairline.

‘What do you want?’ you reply, question stuttered as a new wave of tears starts. Jeff pulls away only far enough to cradle your wet cheeks in one of his palms.

‘I want you, I want this, us...’ the assurance softens your pained expression for the first time tonight.

‘I just...thought it would be easier y’know, living together..’ you nod.

‘But I should have talked to you about it instead of acting like a dick’ Jeff continues.

You don’t protest, still focused on calming your breath and the erratic beat of your heart.

‘I’ll make it up to you baby I promise, I love you’ he concedes. It’s not enough to settle the aching in your rib cage but it’s a start, a reminder of what you two have, of what you have built up and nurtured for the longest time.

Jeff pulls you back to the bedroom, feet kicking the half packed bag out of sight and into the corner as he climbs into bed and pulls you onto of him.

You softly whisper promises of a better tomorrow to each other, smiles brighter and laughter real as it slowly turns to moans and grunts when Jeff pulls you closer under him.

#thank u for reading🥺💖#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek blurb #jeff wittek fanfiction

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tonystarkstan · 5 years ago

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Peter doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at the wall. Distantly, he wonders what he must look like, knees curled into his chest and arms wrapped tightly around them in a hug, as if it’s any kind of replacement for someone else’s arms.

(It’s not.)

Things have been hectic lately. May has been forced into working longer hours at the hospital, so Peter’s staying at the cabin with Tony for two weeks. But not two days later, Morgan came down with the flu, which means they’ve spent most of their days trying to both comfort and entertain a sick child.

Despite how much he loves being with Tony and Morgan, Peter hates being away from May for too long, the previous years’ war leaving its scar on him in the form of PTSD and gut-wrenching anxiety that he’s going to turn around, and everyone he loves will be gone.

He vaguely remembers taking out his phone to text his group chat with MJ and Ned, but then they’d snapped him a picture of them laughing and baking cookies in Ned’s kitchen, and loneliness crawled through the spaces between his ribs and curled up in his lungs, and he closed the chat before he could press send.

Part of him knows that his loneliness is his fault. It’s self-imposed. But, he argues to himself, it’s for a good reason. May is under too much stress, and she doesn’t need to worry about how he’s doing when she already spends all day taking care of other people. God knows she needs time to breathe and take care of herself.

And he certainly doesn’t want to ruin Ned and MJ’s good time with his somber mood, so texting them is out of the question, he’s decided. Besides, MJ’s been dealing with enough shit from her parents recently that she deserves time to just let loose with her friend and have fun.

And Tony. Tony’s always there for Peter. He’s the one who helped Peter back to his feet, both on the battle field after Thanos and the one inside his head that followed it all. Morgan’s the one who needs Tony now.

The truth rises in his throat, blocky and bitter: people like him are exhausting. Draining and tiring. And eventually, it gets old. It gets boring. He’s used up all his Bad Brain cards and no one wants to deal with them anymore. No one should have to.

(But God, he’d like a hug. He would really, really like a hug and for someone to tell him that everything is going to be okay.)

He feels so heavy. He can’t imagine how heavy he must feel to everyone else.

So he curls up on his bed and stares at walls and gives himself hugs, because just because he’s stuck with himself, it doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.

Peter is so frozen, so paralyzed by the loneliness crawling up his spine that he doesn’t even hear his bedroom door open.

“Kid?” Tony whispers, and Peter squints at the light from the hallway that spills into his room. “Were you sleeping with your eyes open? Because Rhodey had a roommate in college who sometimes did that, and it was creepy as all hell.”

Peter just blinks at him, trying to pull himself up and out of the dark cave of thoughts he’d let flood his mind. He sees Tony frown and quietly close the door behind him before crossing the room and sitting on the edge of Peter’s bed.

“Peter. You good?” he asks seriously, and Peter takes a moment to remind himself that he’s an exhausting person and Tony is already exhausted before he answers.

“Yeah, I - I just can’t sleep,” Peter tells him, giving a half-truth. Tony hums, squinting through the darkness to study him for a moment.

“You know, I’ve really appreciated all your help with Morgan for the last week and half,” Tony says. “I’m not sure I’ve thanked you yet.”

“You don’t need to,” Peter protests immediately, and Tony smiles softly.

“Hush. You keep her entertained better than I can most of the time. It’s made her lot less miserable and therefore me a lot less miserable, especially with Pepper stuck in the city.”

Peter just nods. “Glad I could help then.”

For a moment, neither of them say anything. Peter thinks that maybe he’s about to leave, but then Tony says, “Alright, kid, spill. You haven’t been yourself these past few days. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Peter tries not to let surprise show on his face, but Tony reads it anyway and huffs.

“Oh, come on, give me a little more credit, bud.”

The teen offers him a small, sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

“Ah ha!” Tony says triumphantly, before quickly sobering. “So there is something wrong.”

Peter sighs, unfolding his legs and rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling and avoid Tony’s gaze.

“I just don’t feel good,” he says in a small voice, wincing at how childish it sounds spilling from his lips. Immediately, Tony shifts, sitting with his back against the headboard and Peter’s head resting next to him, hand soothingly stroking through his curls in a show of comfort.

“Can you elaborate?” Tony prompts gently, and Peter swallows thickly around the guilt stuck in his throat.

Why can’t I just be fucking okay? Why is it so fucking hard? The thoughts cause frustrated tears to spring to Peter’s eyes, and he clenches his fists into the sheets, angry at himself.

Alarmed, Tony quickly says, “Hey, hey. Pete, it’s okay. Just breathe for me. You’re okay.”

Peter blinks rapidly, willing the tears away, but they don’t go. And loneliness and sadness and every other disgusting thing sloshing through his veins and creeping in his bones rushes to his throat and tears through his teeth before he can stops it.

“I’m tired,” he bursts out, voice cracking on the word. “I’m fucking tired of feeling like this and I’m tired of being heavy and I’m tired of making other people carry it, and I’m so fucking tired of needing people to help make me better. I just want to wake up and say, ‘Alright, I’m better,’ and for that to be that. I’m tired of stressing everyone out, I’m tired of being this... this parasitic thing -”

He cuts himself off, jaw snapping shut as he realizes how much he just revealed. He turns away from Tony. Ironic, he thinks to himself. I’m rambling about how much I don’t want to worry him, and I’m only serving to worry him further. Nice one, Peter.

“Peter,” Tony breathes out, sad and horrified. “Kid, no.”

Peter feels a hand gently reach and out and turn him, and he reluctantly follows, still not looking his mentor in the eye.

“Look at me,” Tony says gently albeit firmly, and he waits patiently as Peter looks up at him. “Peter, did you notice that every time you referred to your mental illness, you were referring to how it affected other people? Not how it affected you.”

Peter pauses for a moment, not sure exactly where Tony is going with this.

“Kid, no one wants you to be better for the sake of us. We want to see you happy for your sake. And we know it’s a process. Hell, it took decades for me to get healthy, and I still find myself needing to go to Rhodey sometimes,” Tony admits. “And that’s okay. No is tired of you or whatever lies your Sick Brain’s trying to tell you. We worry about you because we love you. It’s not a chore.”

And oh.

“I... I just want to be better,” Peter says quietly, and Tony makes a noise of understanding.

“And I get that. God, I get that. But you can’t put pressure on yourself for it. You can’t give it a timeline. And you certainly can’t close yourself off to all the people who want to help you,” Tony tells him, nudging him affectionately, and nods, fidgeting with the sheets.

“I didn’t want to take your attention away from Morgan. And Ned and MJ were having fun and I couldn’t ruin that, and MJ’s already going through such a hard time anyway, and May -”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you there, kid,” Tony cuts in. “Here’s the thing: there is always time for the people we love. And, yeah, maybe it’s varies depending on the situation, but Morgan being sick does not mean I don’t have time to help my other sick kid. I know that’s how May feels about you and her job, too. And if your friends love you, then they’d much rather know you’re hurting and be there for you rather than suffer alone while they have fun.”

Peter sits on that a moment, letting the new information grow inside his chest. He’s not sure he entirely believes it, but he sure loves the thought of it. The thought that maybe there’s room for him, and that he doesn’t have to feel guilty for it.

Tony watches Peter’s face as the thoughts take root and makes a pleased face when he sees that the kid’s actually considering his words. He knows this is probably years of self-doubt and insecurity built up, all coming to a peak at the frustration of not recovering fast enough and the loneliness that comes with it, but it’s a start.

“C’mere,” Tony says, gently tugging Peter to him. “You need a hug.”

Peter feels tears welling up in his eyes again, but this time it’s more from relief as he shuffled into Tony’s side, leaning into his touch. Tony squeezes him tightly, and Peter smiles.

It’s much better than his own arms.

(It’s easy to think we’re alone. To think that we have to be. But we are not. And we don’t. Community is the most powerful weapon we have against the dark.)

#i had a very hard night #its almost 5am and i just #im very upset #but oh well #i know u all im quarantine might be feeling some similar things #let this be a reminder that ur not as alone as u feel #very sleepy #avengers #marvel #tony stark #mcu #peter parker #iron dad #spider son #my writing #hope writes

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