#feeling like everyone was above me and didnt matter how hard i tried it was just... avarege

[stoopid-and-naive]

finally finally seeing the results of my effort

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

hear me out on this one, i know he eats junkfood (so do orthorexics okay every 3d is diferent) anyway he never does it alone. he eats junkood only with other people, and he's always thinking he'll "make up for it" later. so yes he eats junkfood and yes he is orthorexic (felt like i had to defend my point there dsfsd)

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

[secretlilsis]

"Do you still remember when you were to weak to even get out of bed? When you kept telling everyone you are fine? When you put on this well-curated facade to appear alright, untouched, above whatever you experienced?" His voice echoed in her ears, yet felt far far far far away. "Who was there for you?" His voice sounded angry and demanding, entitled. Manipulative. Yet she didnt hate it. She didnt feel repulsed. She just felt.. like she knew him that way and that way only. She felt, that is the person she loved and chose, in any way. She could empathise with what he was going through for what it was worth, yet she had difficulty expressing it. Her hands were tied, so were her feet. Duct-tape. It wasnt uncomfortable. It didnt hurt. She wasnt lying on anything hard. She was not in an basement on some dirty matress. She was comfortable, surrounded by blankets, on a clean bed in a clean room. She didnt feel particulary defiant nor particulary obedient, and that was simply the fact of the matter. "Say it." He tried to demand. But she simply wouldnt budge. "Say it!!" He repeated, this time angrier, angry in a way she had seldom if ever seen him before. She tilted her head as if she was confused, then shrugged, which looked a little odd because of the way she was tied up. He got closer to her, bits of spit flying into her face as he looked at her with a truly mad expression and went "I will always be your big brother. Always." Then she woke up. In her own bed. No duct-tape around her ancles or wrists. No angry big brother. When her big brother actually got angry, he never really yelled, he just got cold and aloof in a way that terrified people far more - usually. She had seen it. She felt the wet patch between her legs. She knew there was some unexpressed truth to what she had dreamt, but she also knew it was a shameless dramatization of reality. Yet she was wet. Incredibly wet. Lustful. Ravenous. Hungry for her big brother, and she hoped he was hungry for her -and he was - always. So, so hungry for her.

She went over to his room, uninvited and woke him in the middle of his sleep by cuddling real close next to him - breathing him in. Feeling him close. She was already grinding against him when he truly came to his senses. "You need to tie me up next time we do it." Were her first words to him. He did not ask where that one came from. He simply nodded along in agreement, "If you say so." Before he could say another word she had slipped under the blanket and had started to eagerly suck his hard cock. She wanted to put him first this time, maybe she felt subconciously guilty even if in the dream he objectively had been the "bad guy". He noticed how much effort she put into sucking him off this time. How carefully she played with his cock. Twirling her tongue around the shaft, taking it in as deeply as she could without taking it to deep for comfort. Moving her head up and down as fast as she could. She could feel tension in her cheeks, but she ignored it. She wanted to do a good job. She wanted to make him happy. She needed to make him happy. He came so much quicker than she expected him to. "Big brother... I feel like I havent been doing enough for you.." She admitted right after, sounding like she felt like a lower level criminal about to get persecuted. He simply sighed "Im meant to give to you, not the other way around anyways. If im honest... im a little bit... uncomfortable with the idea of you trying to.. give back to me..?" She looked at him struck, like he had said something truly offensive. "Isnt this a little one-sided if youre always the one doing, working, protecting..?" "Isnt that the way it has always been? I feel comfortable when im in control... But yes, that blowjob was amazing, thank you." ".. Im not trying to take your sense of control from you.. Im just -" And before she could finish her sentence he had pinned her down underneath her, ever so gently, caressing her - kissing her forehead and pulling her into him tightly. "Youre doing enough for me as is." He insisted whilst she looked up to him helplessly. She struggled against his hands pinning her down and fussed about, he laughed a little bit, softly, but sincerely amused and did not budge. "Let me.. let me go! I need to.. I need to... Suck you off again... Jerk you off..!" She complained loudly. "Mhh... I dont feel like letting you go though, I like having you all to myself like this, with you having no way to escape me.." He started to kiss her neck all the way down to her collarbones, where he started to gently bite and nibble - careful not to leave hickeys or marks their parents couldve picked up on. She shivered at his touch, her body leaning into it, wanting it, expecting it.

"I.. I can be .. the one spoiling you once in a while.." She insisted, but now with a much shyer tone of voice, much more flustered - much more put in her place. Much more under his control. "Mhhm... Im starting to feel a little bit bad for making such a fuss around you wanting to do me a favour. Fine, ill bite. But this should be my job." He finally surrendered and let go of her wrists. She crawled on top of him as quickly as she could, and as quickly as he let her, sitting on top of him - "Ill.. Ill ride you... I think.. that would be something youd enjoy.. Im sure you want to be inside of me just about now.." He simply watched her, caressed her with his eyes. And then she took his cock inside her. Started to ride him, moving her hips - trying her best to satisfy him, "Is it good like this, big brother? Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?" "No, youre perfect." He said, repressing the urge to start thrusting into her by himself. She looked so pretty when she was helpless, yet full of desire for him. But he held still. Her hands now exploring his upper body, to his shoulders - kissing his neck herself now. She had rarely done this, but he decided that he liked it. He could feel her desire overflowing from it. How desperately she was thrusting her little hips trying to get him off, trying to do right by him. He had appreciate it atleast a little bit. And the view he was getting was phenomenal as well. "Say youre mine." He demanded. "I am yours.. Im so yours.. so... so.. so yours. More yours than ive ever been, and each day a little bit more. I love you so much big brother, I love you - I truly love you."

That pushed him over the edge and he came inside her, she was on the pill - but even then they only rarely went that far. But this time he was not in control, and as she felt him pulse and throb she did not get up and instead stayed put, taking his creampie inside her. "Fuck.. You cumming inside me feels so.. so .. soo good." She confessed, her voice twisted in pleasure. He sighed and pulled her into his embrace, his twitching cock still inside her, cumming. And even when he stopped cumming, they still rested like this, his hard cock inside her, her close to his heart. They just laid there like this for a while, silently.

[1tsjusty0u]

hehe...

revali, ezlo, canon botw link, siffrin, asriel and odile for blorbo bingo :]

INTERESTING SELECTION..!!

hes both a really funny character but also genuinely well written and the way the writers tried? to resolve his whole thing sucks to me honestly. its not/shouldnt be about having revali accept link as the hero/link needing to prove himself on some scale its about revali needing to prove himself to well, himself. + the layers of. whatever him and links dynamic is. the fandom just treats him either as a mean-spirited loser/someone unjustly needing link to prove himself/just mean in general, or just a plain loser which to be fair he Is a loser but he has Multitudes!!! i never see the more serious aspects of his character- his character is portrayed as serious Sometimes but its not in relation to himself if that makes sense? also with the loser depiction they make it like. a central character trait? i dont know how to describe it its like. they either make him dumber than he actually is for comedy or something? or it ties into the mean thing. also theres this

EZLO!!!! funny old man!!! i like the hat aspect and how he was originally a minish and accidentally helped? vaati. its just unfortunately i dont think about him much </3

haha. hahahHhaahshHEHYAHSDHSAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAGHA oguh ok im normal now 👍anyways. god ok so, i should explain that most of the above? applies Specifically to pre-calamity canon link. post-calamity does have Some brainrot but it has much less of a grip on me. also i actually know Why im brainrotted to him specifically however thats a secret for now! anyways its. specifically its the way he constantly masks/his dynamics with everyone else not really fitting in, how instead of taking the role he may or may not have been forced into with stride he actively struggles with it and the impact it has on how people view him and how he views himself. on this level i like to completely ignore certain aspects of canon + aoc because it feels like the writers genuinely try to make him the Perfect Awesome Hero + trying to make everything he does revolve around zelda instead of being. A Character. and on this level as well the fandom interpretations...,,,,,, so for pre cal they . not never its 90% of the time they dont get it right they genuinely make him the perfect awesome hero and actually lives to serve zelda/make him just. gross?? like deep voice oOoo suave perfect always sweeping the floor but still has those secret juicy problems its. sighs gang chat even cmon. ITS LIKE THE .

THIS ^ WHY DO THEY DO THIS. as for the 10% rest of interpretations its hard to describe as there isnt actually much of a common thread between them, in the end though it still isnt truly On Point. its possible im picky which yes i am but in the end it always feels like theres an aspect of the above image in his character in fanfics intentional or not, and they never seem to. critique it in a way? which completely fair you never have to center on something/mention it but its just. gestures wildly. sighs. as for post calamity i also dont like most of the interpretations but also its so much less worse. the only one that i think is Truly Honestly incorrect is link wanting/choosing to stay/follow zelda after freeing her, having it portrayed as he always didnt mind/even liked it. it just puts him into the same situation he was before/feels less like an actual genuine choice and more along the lines of it being chosen for him + once again revolving around zelda entirely rather than having his own thoughts and feelings no matter how 'wrong' or 'bad'.

OGUH ALRIGHT SO. ok so. for context; start again a prologue and in stars and time are two different games with two different siffrins per say- i think about them each differently (its like theyre aus of each other) and . theres a Reason for that, both meta(?)ly/personally and also. theres a reason in isat however thats the most major possible spoilers you can conceive of thats easily missable so. for the purposes of today, im guessing you mean isat siffrin!!! because there is a difference. ANYWAYS. this ones complicated for me personally because i genuinely Used to be brainrotted about them + i liked them a ton (personal reasons and also catharsis). once isat came out though, it . actually cured my brainrot </3 . theres new(ish) themes and character dynamics/thoughts and while i Can see the appeal for other people, for me personally i just have no attachment im so sorry.

ASRIEL!!!!!!!! THIS ONE IS ALSO COMPLICATED depending on if you think flowey and him are separate enough to be different characters. and. fun fact i genuinely like him a Lot More as flowey rather than "asriel" in a sense really just because of the true pacifist ending dialogue. he feels way too nice to me almost uwu in a way but also that isnt the entirety of his character gestures to the asriel boss fight and his dialogue as flowey. its. god ok its the way he was trying to hang on to anything he had left. asgore made him feel nothing toriel made him feel nothing (constantly watching her look for another human to take care of, another child to replace him until she finally forgets about him even though hes still there hes still here!! while toriel sees asriel and chara in every human that falls down and if they die shes failed asriel again,) papyrus mightve helped for a bit but like everyone else eventually apathy comes to settle in letting him feel nothing once again, alphys couldnt help him no one could help him hes seen these halls 100 times constantly daily and he wants to get out he cant be this anymore he wants to feel something!! anything!! he tried to die and he Did, deciding it wasnt worth it to live anymore, then discovering he could reset and load. he wanted what he had back, he wanted the ability to not be bored constantly to not know what comes next to feel something. chara is both the One Person who had yet to (unintentionally) "fail" flowey and the one person tied to his past who understands him. thats his sibling!!! toriel failed asgore failed the only person left is chara, and they cant fail. he remembers having so much fun with them!! he misses them because of the above and also because he has no one else. when he turns into asriel for lack of a better descriptor he's able to see things more clearly, recognizing that chara wasnt the bestest person ever and latching on to them as a solution was a choice made in anguish. in the genocide route he mentions that he had plans to do things on the surface with the souls but he says with chara around he wouldnt really mind/kind of drop his plans because chara is here!!! they can have fun again!!! theyre the only one who knows and understands what humans are truly like, what its like to be impaled by arrows (toriel caring for the next human child, forgetting about him) turning to dust and dying. they understand. they have to! also i should note i also love chara dearly and anyone who thinks theyre "evil" can die by my blade. anyways. hi . for the misinterpretations thing i think everyone mostly gets it right honestly i think people just tend to make him more "good" gestures to the uwu nice thing. OH and they also consider asriel to be the better flowey in a sense? like liking asriel for asriel but liking flowey for asriel rather than flowey. here just watch this for me ok. please i love you aromantism

LASTLY ODILE!!! i do like how shes the one to constantly sus out siffrin + having her own issues of family and belonging and having her own goal. + old lady win. that being said i also do not think about her a lot i am sorry. shes neat just not for me.

[dontpunchdogs]

thoughts for today ! under a read more bcos it got long. yelling into the void.

ive always been hard to deal with - too sensitive to sounds, lights, temperature, texture, easily hurt by words, easily overwhelmed by other people, easily feeling left out among friends, too annoying, too loud but too quiet, needing too much reassurance, needing to feel wanted, needing needing needing. ive known this a long time. ive heard it from my parents countless times, had friends say they only hung around me out of pity, had partners say i was the most supportive partner theyd ever had; yet i need too much, my feelings are too confusing or too hard to consider, "i knew youd be upset but i didnt want to tell you and make you more upset" again and again and again.

no matter how small i tried to be, how light of a burden i made myself, its really never enough. i dont get what i need, my patience is worn thinner and thinner, and "suddenly" i snap. "suddenly" i disappear. as though there werent signs. as though i hadnt been begging for someone to care. as though i havent put others feelings and comfort above my own for years, been intentional, been thoughtful, been honest (in fairness, honest about everything besides the extent to which id been hurt) and made it clear how i love and how i want my efforts to be reciprocated.

i'm tired of it. i always thought i shouldnt live if nobody cared about me enough to pick me first. thats all ive ever wanted, really. someone to walk in a room full of people they care for and choose me out of everyone. someone who id choose over anything, even my own comfort when reasonable, and to know they'd do the same. just one person, and then i can handle everyone else letting me down, just one person, please, just one, one person, please, for once, just once.

i always find myself so fucking disappointed. maybe my standards are too high - the fact no one can meet me there makes me sad, but the idea of lowering my standards made me sadder. i can take disappointment, a lot of it, and i don't expect perfection. sometimes you cant give even 50% of your energy. sometimes you need to pick someone else. sometimes you need to pick a friend over a partner, or yourself over anyone else. but i cant handle the degree to which people constantly ignore my needs, or disregard them to indulge their wants.

im trying to rewire my brain now! im going to live, whether someone picks me or not. im going to care for others as much as i can, as hard as i can, but im going to limit those who disturb my peace. im going to put myself first, often as i can, or at least as often as id put others. i know what i need, and id do it for someone else - why not do it for me? why continue trying for people who cant be assed? why continue trying when im just difficult and draining?

today i had an overstimulating day at work. i still went to the grocery store, as id planned, because i needed to. when i drove home, i felt like id have a meltdown. instead i made myself laugh by seeing just how many bags i could carry at once. something stupid and simple, but i felt like i was good company. i put everything away. i made my lunch for tomorrow. i tried a new tea that i picked out and actually finally found one i liked. i ran a hot bubble bath. i washed my hair, my back, my body as though i was someone i loved. and i felt loved.

it was really nice. im holding onto that joy.

ive realized just how much pain other people tend to put me through. why, then, should i hinge my right to my life on my relationship with others?

im going to live. fuck anything else. fuck everybody whos ever made me feel like a fucking burden. if its soooo hard dealing with me, imagine fucking being me. i deserve so much better.

[celestialjupe]

Girl blogging: 2/25/23 12:05

Literally processing so hard right now dbdbif. i just got out of a rather abusive relationship. I knew it was bad but it didnt hit me how extremely foul it was until i started making a list of everything that has happened. I've definitely been in the wrong too, and i regret the kind of person i became in that relationship. I don't regret it because i feel bad for him, i regret it because i know that's not who i am and i sacrificed a large portion of my sense of self because i didn't want to hurt him. That was so stupid, but honestly, no one is above being in a situation like that, especially when they're young and when it was their first relationship. so, im trying not to be too hard on myself about it, because being hard on myself drove me further into that relationship every single time.

The last year was different than the first three. He did a 180, he started treating me much better, but i couldn't erase the past and i couldn't let go of it and stay with him at the same time. I couldn't erase his actions and i couldn't erase mine either. Also, it's kind of fucked up because he could have been treating me well the whole time. But really, he never changed, he just got more strategic and better at disguising the behavior. I was still considering getting back together with him until two days ago. It's been two weeks since i broke up with him. That list really impacted me because to see how many terrible things he had done, how close together, and how careless he was..wow wakeup call. I don't feel bad anymore, if you have to hurt someone to get them to stop hurting you, so be it. Again, i was also wrong in the relationship, mainly in year three. We were like rabid dogs constantly barking at each other and flashing teeth. Looking back, i think i was valid to fight back, i think it makes sense that i opened up to the people around me. I just wish i would've listened then. I'm grateful for the two girls who sat with me and listened to me. Life is strange. but im happy that part of my life is finally over, and i can move on. I already feel better and look better and overall i am better. Things are clearer. I think i deserve that. I tried my hardest. Especially this last year, so many times i sat awake at night, promising myself I'd try harder to be happy, telling myself it was enough and i just didn't want to accept love. Now i know that we were never in love, and i wasn't wrong to be so confused and agitated.

I don't think there was ever a moment where he truly considered me, but i was selfish for not wanting to live my life like that. What surprised me the most was everyone who was happy to hear the news. I thought everyone loved him, i thought no matter what, they didn't know what was happening behind closed doors and he was charming, so of course they love him. Little did i know, everyone saw through the act. I only ever told two people about what was happening, and i didn't even tell them the full situation. No one else knew because it's honestly so embarrassing, and i wasn't ready to be better. even now im scared, im scared to delete him from my socials, im scared that he wont be able to leave it alone, im scared that he wont take no for an answer and ill have to pay for this. I can't let that fear control me. I have to be ready to face it all, and dive into the void even if im not certain of the outcome. So much time, opportunity, self-respect has passed me by and I've just let it. I can't do that anymore. I deserve to show up for myself, even when its hard. breakups are hard, especially when they're easy.

Through all that fear, there is a spark. There's a part of myself that i have ownership of again, a part of myself i haven't seen in so long. There's relief, there's love, there's a feeling of security. There's this newfound sense of certainty that i am here and I will never let this happen again. There's victory. I've overcome obstacles and I've walked through the darkest parts of myself to do that. I took a tour of the worst possible version of myself, i stayed in the dark for so long and I'm finally on the other side of it all. I am happy and proud to be me, feelings i never thought I'd have for myself again. I have forgiveness in my heart now, i have released so much, I'm not angry at anyone anymore. I feel like i can finally be myself and not compromise that.

so yeah, kind of slaying right now.. thank you for taking the time to read if you did. Don't make the same mistake i did, don't wait, leave leave leave LEAVE!! Be safe, stay hydrated, keep your belly full, and do what's best for you.

[tastyykpop]

jeno extra filthy degradation please 😭

ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ

Pairings: jeno x reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation, brat!reader, brat tamer!jeno, spanking, fingering, eating out, overstimulation

you were annoying

that was as simple as jeno could make it. he found you absolutely insufferable. and the countless of times you've opened your mouth to make a stupid comment was like nails on a chalkboard.

sure you were pretty and kind to others but not very much to him. you were rude, cocky, and persistent, it was your way of getting his attention. and to say it worked was an understatement, you were on jenos mind 24/7. no matter where, when, or who he was with, he could only think about you. of course, you were the same, but that's because you've had a crush on him since trainee days and almost everyone in SM knew.

jeno knew.

since you worked at SM as a stylist, it was easy to get closer to jeno and work your magic everyday. you were blatant with every touch, every shameless sentence that entailed more then it should, he couldn't quite ignore it either or tell you to shut up. seriously, it doesn't work.

you're a brat, he would say to himself, nothing more than a brat that doesn't know her place.

which in this case, he was correct.

but to him, your behavior was easy to change. he's noticed how you've drawn blanks when he interrogates you on your behavior, how you downplay your wrongs to see him try and hold back his longing to make you submit. it was a game to you clearly, but jeno wanted to beat it.

so how did you end up under jeno so soon in the practice room?

well, the group had been preparing for a dance practice video and you and a few other stylists were called in to help get them prepare for the camera. jeno was trying his best to stay low and out of your sight. it didn't work, but it was worth a shot.

"happy to see me?"

jenos eyes rolled, "I'd be happy if I saw death staring at me in the eyes." he began walking away until you grabbed his arm, making him put his hands over his face.

"dont be like that." you push his hands away now seeing jenos annoyed face. "be lucky you're not stuck with someone else. at least I make your life more interesting.

"interesting or frustrating? I think you've got your words mixed up."

you began applying a light foundation on jenos skin, taking in his angelic features before realizing what he said, "impactful I must say. I know you love me, jeno."

jeno makes a face in disgust pushing your hand away from his face, "youre not my type."

"I dont know. chenle told me otherwise...."

"youre a brat."

"and you're close-minded."

"close- you-"

"done. now go dance and make some fangirls or boys scream." you don't bother turning around as you walk towards the back of the dance practice out of the cameras view.

jeno, somewhat red in the face, stood in his starting position for the choreography, you couldnt help but stare at him in awe. hes gorgeous, you can't lie about that. and the way he moved once the music started playing made you feel different. maybe it was your crush on him, but you heated up very quickly while watching him. other staff members weren't paying as close attention on the boys as you were, only their phones caught their mind. you didn't mind, but damn did they not see how hot jeno was when dancing?

sweaty and out of breath, the boys took a break to get a drink of water.

"you did well- you all did actually." handing jeno a bottle of water, he stared between the thing in your hand and you before taking it and chugging the whole bottle. "but I think mark was the one who stood out to me the most."

"what?"

"mhm. mark was very fluid in his footsteps and his movements were clean and precise. a good dancer I must say."

there's something up. you were staring at him the whole time and he knew it, he danced harder just because you were watching. how could you have seen mark when all you did was stare at jeno?

"and hes cute too. surely he's got a bunch of girls and boys ready to throw themselves at him. I would too, he's absolutely perfect."

jeno balled his fist. what game are you trying to play? "you're testing me." he may not like you, or maybe he did, but something about you talking about someone else like that sparked jealousy in him.

"good. maybe you'll do something about it." you put a hand on his chest, jenos heart pounding fast as you came closer and whispered, "I bet you won't. all bark no bite. pathetic if you ask me."

"youre gonna regret your words if you keep speaking."

"oh really," you leaned back, his eyes pierced your curious ones with a sense of fury and annoyance, "and what are you gonna do? spank me?"

just like that jeno pulled you out of the room and into another practice room. he pulled a chair out from the corner and pulled you over his knee.

"jeno, I was just kid-"

he spanked you hard over and over and over again as you wailed and wrapped a tight hand around jenos ankle for support. each spank was painful and to the point unbearable, yet jeno didn't back down. not after he felt he could break you now.

each time his hand made contact with your ass, felt like he was letting loose all the pent up anger you caused him over the past months you've been working here. for him, it was hell. no matter what people would say to you about him did not dictate his feelings about you. right now, he hated you and needed to let that burning passion out by spanking you. jeno wanted you to feel the hell he endured when around you. sure enough, you were feeling it, crying and sobbing on his thigh like an idiot.

you didn't fight back even though you proposed that you hated it. your body seemed to like it more then you thought.

"youre a pest!" he landed another hard hit, "an annoying pest who needs to learn when to shut the fuck up. now apologize."

"no!" you winced at another hit, squirming- no more like trying to grind on his lap because of how painfully wet you've become in just minutes.

"apologize." he repeated.

"you're- you're an idiot if you think I'll give up!"

jeno stripped you of your pants and panties, "its cute listening to little sluts like you thinking they have power over someone much stronger then them. it must be tiring thinking youre charge." he taunted before spanking you again, this time the impact was far greater and almost caused you to scream before jeno clasped a hand over your mouth. with the same hand, he pushed you off his lap and on the floor, leaving your lower half bare for him to see.

you were a pretty sight, a mess to say the least, but jeno loved that. finally seeing you disheveled with tears leaking down your cheeks, he thought of you as his little crybaby. he tried his hardest not to take a picture.

"don't think I didnt notice how your wet cunt leaked all over my thigh" he began, "do you really get off to being put in your place, slut? is that why we're here right now?"

"d-dont be so full of y-yourself."

"oh? but your dripping all over the practice floor, how could i not." jenos lips were close to your heat, teasing you with his eyes and tongue as he glided it just above where you wanted him.

you had nothing to say, yet your eyes told him everything. told him just how you'd defy him any chance youd get only to make him more upset. it wouldn't be fun if your goal wasn't to piss him off.

jeno kept his tongue away from your most needed area, his lips kissing anything but your dripping heat as you bucked your hips into his face. jenos hands would push your hips down and back his face away frowning at your behavior and returning to what he was previously doing. you weren't done though, since he was holding your hips, you grabbed his hair and forced his head where you needed him. his tongue inside you was far from good, it was amazing. and though you realized jeno wasn't pushing your hand away, you pushed and pulled his hair as you kept his head in place so he couldn't stop.

the long strides and the smooth rhythm he had was enough to make you arch against the floor, gasping and calling out his name far to loudly for his liking. but with watchful eyes and a steady tongue, he shamelessly enjoyed it yet he had to be aware of the people in the building. one loud moan and someone would sure walk in to see what's up.

so jeno swatted your hand away from his head and lifted up with a frown. he liked the frightened look on your face as he leaned closer and closer, "if you're this much of a slut for people to hear us, we might as well have just stayed where everyone else was."

"thats hot." you stated blankly, jenos eyebrow raised before realizing how far gone you practically were, with how big and dilated your eyes are. "w-wait no! I'll stay quiet I promise."

"No you wont." jeno got up and grabbed your underwear that layed on the floor, then shoved it in your mouth allowing you to taste yourself. "stay quiet, fucktoy."

"fucktoy?- oh fuck!" you mumbled into your panties as his fingers protruded inside you. at least you were quieter this time.

"tell me when youre about to cum." he said just above a whisper as he watched you slip further and further into bliss. the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head with each skillful thrust from jenos fingers made his cock grow harder each second. you were so hot, so damn beautiful as you moaned into the panties like a little bitch. jeno loved it too much to say he hated you.

"feels good- f-feels so good, j-jeno." you said quietly into the panties. it was getting harder and harder for you to keep silent as he began rubbing your clit like a desperate man, hungry for your cum. but you did your best keeping low.

you grinded against on his hand, inching closer and closer to what you believed to be your orgasm. clentching tightly around jenos fingers you gasped and spat your panties out, "jeno! i-im gonna-

"cum, fucktoy." he insisted, never removing his fingers from your wet hole as a white substance spilled out. he kept going, in and out, in and out as you clamped a hand over your mouth. so much sensitivity and his fingers were still going.

"stop i-i can't take it!" you found his wrist and tightly held it as you attempted to pull him out.

"youre gonna take this like a good bitch until I want to stop." he said right as your second orgasm washed through you.

too much. you could barely think straight and even tried pulling your hips back but his fingers followed.

too sensitive. you could barely breathe because of the overwhelming sensitivity. yet in a twisted way, it felt good in a strange way. maybe it was the pain of cumming over and over or how jeno worked his fingers. either way, you could feel another one building up.

"please, please, please." you cried hoping for the end, but there was no way jeno was stopping.

"apologize and this will be your last one." He stuck his fingers deeper, if that were possible, and watched you squirm trying to find words to say, but all that came out was drool. "disgusting whore." you slapped him in the face for that.

"I-i am not sor-sorry!"

"im not playing these games anymore. say you're sorry."

jeno growled, deeper and deeper he went and faster and faster he goes before your third orgasm of the day came. your legs shook and your grip got tighter but still to no avail did he stop.

you were very persistent on making jeno angry before, but now you seemed to have started rethinking that apology. "im sorry."

"for?"

"for being rude to you!" you legs shook again and that feeling in your stomach was back, "i-im sorry jeno, but p-please I can't take it!"

he did it. he broke you. and with that he finally pulled his fingers away letting all your cum out.

you cried softly, still a shaking mess from the orgasms and jeno, well he didn't care all too much but he knew he probably shouldn't be too harsh with you about now. so he gently took you in his arms, sitting your bare bottom right on his lap as he rocked you slowly.

"im never leaving after this." you say slowly, "and I know you don't hate me either, I can feel your boner against my ass."

jeno pinches your arm and shushes you. god, you were a pest and maybe youre right. maybe he doesn't hate you like he proclaimed he did. maybe he did enjoy this session in the practice room, but he won't ever say it. not because he's afraid to admit it, but because he doesn't want you to rub it in his face.

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

20k tweets

ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

[batfamtv]

(girls like girls) like boys do, nothing new

can you do a jealous carol x reader ? like reader has had long time crush on carol and admits her feelings only to get turned down bc carol has internalized homophobia and doesn’t know how to react. carol gets jealous when reader is moving on with another mcu character of your choice.

carol danvers x reader

warnings: internalized homophobia, failed the reverse bechdel test (women only talk about one (1) woman, a gay), no gays fighting over Y/N

word count: 2565 for the gays; set in avengers: endgame; everyone lives au

read part 1 here

Now, after a couple of years, you got promoted

Working under Nick Fury and caring for the Flerken really got you qualified to work in the field

And you did, with the best of the best: Natasha, the Black Widow, and Clint, Hawkeye

You were there when Loki destroyed New York, when Ultron threatened to destroy the world

Over time, your powers manifested, they have been dormant for the longest time

Speaking of dormant, you hadnt heard from Carol since the night she left

You talked to Nick, asked him if she’s ever stopped by, but she hasnt

“She’s busy saving the world, Y/N” he’d tell you, but that didnt make you feel better

You felt so hurt, by her reaction, her rejection, but you began to look forward

But you think about her everyday, wondering what could have been

Carol had given Nick a pager, “for emergencies only”, she reminded him, but she also gave you one

Carol told you that it’s just to make sure Fury doesnt send out some false alarms, but who was she kidding? Maybe she did want you to hit her up

But after all those years, you hadn’t

She looks at her pager every single day, wondering if the world would miss her if she decides to come see you, to clear things out

And you have thought about ringing her up too, in times when the world is in trouble, and in times when the feeling you have on your chest is sharp that you couldnt breathe

In times when you miss her so much you cry uncontrollably, hand over your mouth to make sure no one hears

To make sure no one hears how much you miss the woman you love

You were with Nick and Maria when it happened

It was chaos in the city, and you, Nick and Maria got out of the car to investigate

The drivers seats of cars are empty, helicopters crashing into buildings

Almost reflexively, your hand flew to your pocket, where the pager lay there, almost waiting for you to press it

“Y/N?” Maria sounded distressed, and when you turned to her, her body was disintegrating, like sand blown away by the wind

Nick was distressed and eyed you, “You have to call her. Call control.”

You didn’t hesitate, pressing the button as you watched Nick do the same to his pager, watching your mentor and friend disappear right in front of your eyes

When your right hand started to disappear, you moved the pager to your left hand, tears threatening to spill

You were going to die, alone, unloved, and not having told Carol how much you miss her

Her name was the last thing on your lips before you disappeared

When carol came back to earth, she didnt know anyone

But everyone was grateful to her, for returning tony

The burning question in her head, the one thing she almost didn’t want to admit

Where is the woman she loves?

Back then, way back when carol was still a child, she was told that there were a lot of things she couldnt do

She couldn’t be strong, couldn’t play baseball--because she was a woman

She couldn’t join the air force, couldn’t be a pilot--because she was a woman

All of these things she couldn’t do, but there has always been one thing she was not allowed to do, not allowed to be

Because she was a woman, she is not allowed to like other women

Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could break the glass ceiling and become an air force captain, but there was one thing that she just was not allowed to do

And that was to acknowledge weird, different feelings for women

That has always been the case, it was drilled into her being, ever since she was a child

Girls can’t like other girls

And you confessing your feelings to her years ago forced her to acknowledge that her feelings for you were not at all platonic, that she didn’t stay with you for 3 days just because you were a good friend to her

Carol had to face the facts that being with you reminded her that she was human, and deep down, like the child that she was a long time ago, she had feelings that she didn’t believe were right

And she understood that her running away was not the right thing to have done, that she, who almost prided herself for being able to face her problems head on, was not ready to face this one problem that she had been forced to hide deep down, for years and years

Carol Danvers had always liked girls, and she liked you

Carrying that aircraft containing tony stark and nebula did not bother her one bit, what bothered her was that she was coming to earth after all these years

Somehow she believes that she is being forced to finally deal with abandoning you after all these years

But in spite of this, carol is feeling excited about this, because finally, after all these years...she had made peace with it

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

And all it took for her to realize that was the beeping of the pager

When everything had settled down, carol had been graciously offered a change of clothes by Pepper, who was hysterically thanking her for bringing tony back

The atmosphere was morbid, everyone in silent despair, and she was quietly begging for someone to fill up the spaces of what has happened on earth since she was last there

Finally, surrounded by a group of people calling themselves the “Avengers” (carol raised an eyebrow at this, asking if nick fury was the one who assembled the group, “Yeah, how’d you know?” Rhodes asked, and she shrugged and said “Lucky guess”), she was finally brought to speed

“It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to earth”

Holograms of people Carol believed were part of this team are projected around her

“We’re trying to take a census, and it looks like he did exactly what he said he was gonna do”

Nick Fury’s face appeared on the screen, much to Carol’s shock

Tears were brimming in her eyes, thinking about the distress call from Nick

Because if Nick sent the distress call and is now, as Natasha said, wiped out...does that mean…?

“Thanos wiped out...50% of all the living creatures”

Y/N’s face appeared in front of Carol not long after

With that, Carol exhaled as tears finally fell down her cheeks...she had her suspicions, but hoped--no, begged--for it to be false

Y/N was gone

And carol was too late

Tony stark had been upset...and collapsed, Carol, who was still in shock, was staring at the hologram of Y/N in front of her

“Carol, right?”

Carol turned, regarding Natasha with a nod

They hadn’t had the chance to properly introduce themselves, but Carol didn’t think there was any time

“Carol Danvers,” Steve added with a chuckle, “I think we all know you by name before we even met you”

“Fury really singing me praises, huh?” Carol was almost amused

Natasha smiled sadly, “Not Fury,” and she and Steve turned their heads toward the hologram of Y/N

“Whenever she had the chance, she would talk about “her”, Y/N’s greatest love,” Natasha whispered, remembering how she and Clint always pretended to be annoyed whenever Y/N would go on and on about this really powerful superhero who shined like the sun, and lit a flame in her heart

And as much as Carol wanted to bask in the appreciation, she felt nothing but shame, knowing she abandoned Y/N, and wasn’t able to save her

Glancing back at the hologram, she eyed her once more

Years had been good to Y/N, still beautiful as ever, leaving her breathless, but she wasn’t there anymore

And Carol knew what she had to do

If she couldn’t save Y/N, Carol could avenge her

Rhodes approached her, Natasha, and Steve, “He’s probably gonna be out for the rest of the day”, referring to tony

With a resolute look on her face, she said, “You guys take care of him, and I’ll bring him a Xorrian elixir when I come back”

Confused, Natasha, Steve and Rhodes glanced at each other before Steve asked, “Where are you going?”

“To kill Thanos,” Carol said matter-of-factly

Natasha could almost feel the anger Carol was radiating with, so she hurried to catch up to her, “You know, we usually work as a team here…”

When Natasha finally had the chance, she pulled carol over to the side to talk to her privately

“I know that you usually work on your own, that there are worlds out there who need you, but earth needs you too”

She was convincing Carol to stay, to try and create a better world for the people who survived, but it was getting quite hard for Carol to remain on earth

“I don’t…” Carol shook her head, “I don’t have much left on earth.”

“If you can’t stay, atleast come from time to time,” Natasha begged, “This was your home, wasn’t it? This was Y/N’s too.”

And Natasha was right, Carol thought, and in more ways than one, it was her home. But now it’s empty, and Carol is in mourning and she had never felt so alone

All those years, she thought she could live with what she did knowing that Y/N she was still on Earth, possibly with someone who is not ashamed of who she is, who is not ashamed to accept their own feelings

And Carol was okay with that thought, but now…

She couldn’t stand being on Earth knowing Y/N wasn’t there

It was like coming home to a cold and empty house

But she looked at Natasha, finally with the courage to ask her what she had been thinking all this time, “Were you and Y/N together?”

“No,” Natasha answered, almost teasingly

Carol felt relief, but above all, she felt obligated

To do right by Y/N

So she agreed to visit and report from time to time, “For Y/N. Because I need to do right by Y/N.”

When Carol returned to earth after 5 years, Thanos was there, and so was everybody who had disappeared 5 years ago

In spite of all the chaos, she couldn’t help the voice in her head, asking, “Is Y/N here? Is she safe?”

But you were nowhere to be found, and she had promised to scour the world for you later

Thanos was defeated, but it was in exchange for the lives of Tony and Natasha

With a heavy heart, everyone attended their funerals, all grieving the loss of two of their comrades, friends

At the funeral, Carol stood at the distance, watching behind everybody else

Behind her, Nick was there, and they exchanged solemn nods and opted to wait until the end of the funeral to reconnect

“You came,” was the first thing Fury said, after all those years that they haven’t seen each other

With a small chuckle, she nodded, “Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t come because you called.”

“I know,” Fury retorted, amused, “You came because she called, right?”

Carol’s mouth opened, lips about to ask a question she had been dying to ask ever since she came back, but no words came out

When everything was chaos and adrenaline and fighting, Carol was not scared

But now that the dust has settled, she was terrified...because now there was no more excuse to avoid what her heart has been begging her to do

Before she could push the question out of her mouth, Fury handed her a piece of paper. “She’s off-duty. Gave her a whole damn month to recuperate from being wiped off the face of the planet.”

And when Carol unfolded the piece of paper, it was just an address

Nodding gratefully to Fury, Carol turned to leave, about to face her biggest obstacle yet

From what she could tell, it was a safehouse

Apparently, Y/N was someone high up the organization that they had warranted her one

Just a little cottage out on the countryside, a palace she had always wanted

Carol laughed whenever she remember you saying, “Maybe one day I could afford a little house in the middle of Kansas, meet Clark Kent and Lois Lane...I don’t know”

And here you were, at a small little house in the countryside

Carol watched you, almost ashamed to just be staring at you while you make yourself some breakfast

As she approached the porch, she wondered how she could take on the mad titan Thanos, but is now shaking as she brought her knuckles to knock on your door, extremities suddenly feeling cold, and knees wobbling to support her weight

She could barely hear your footsteps because of the blood rushing to her head, to her face, heart beating wildly

And when you opened the door, she noted how your eyes widened the tiniest bit, mouth opened in surprise when you realized who was on the other side

“Hi, Y/N,” was the first thing she croaked out

“You…” you smiled at her, “you changed your hair”

With a laugh, she nodded, running a hand through her short hair, before she let her hand down

Slowly counting to three

And engulfed you in a hug

Absolutely-swept-you-off-your-feet hug, your feet leaving the ground as her arms wound tightly across your waist, almost crushing you

And when you heard her inhale into the nape of your neck, it was like a reflex that you threw your arms around her neck, squeezing her just as tight

And Carol wanted to apologize, and confess, and plead for you to give her another chance

She wanted to tell you that she’s sorry for leaving, i was so confused and i was scared to come back and have you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t forgive me for what i did, but i have made peace with who i am and know what i want and what i want is you and your happiness and you and you

And she may have tried to make a letter to help her organize her thoughts

You held her shoulders back, looking at her, really looking at her, after all these years, and you use your thumbs to wipe away the tears running down her face as she shyly laughed at you and held your hands to her cheeks and kept it there for a second, relishing in your heat because you were finally here, after all this time, after 5 long years you are alive

And she brought your hands down and cupped your face and leaned in

And touched her lips to yours, gently, lovingly, finally

You can taste the saltiness of her tears, but also her apologies, and love, and devotion and you kissed her back, smiling

And as you pulled away, you wiped her tears again, before holding her hands, guiding Carol inside, “Let’s eat breakfast.”

And Carol Danvers, for once, was selfish, and did not think of the world needing her help, because she knows that the world would be fine if Carol stayed home for a while

And home is wherever you are

a/n: thank you so much for your support! i rly hope you like this ;__;

[serowotonin]

falling ; bakugou k.

pairing ( bakugou katsuki x fem!reader ) wordcount ( 2.4k ) genre ( fluff & basically pining )

↷ a hc-styled narrative describing the four stages bakugou katsuki goes through as he finds himself falling for you . . .

STAGE I ( impression ) ;

the first time bakugou laid eyes on you was during the entrance exam at UA. 

back then, you were just another face in the crowd of faces he was going to have to beat to earn his spot in UA

the first time bakugou spoke to you wasn’t memorable to him either

like with everyone else, he was loud and rude and made it very clear he wasn’t interested in playing friends

after that you became a part of the class, just another extra, someone who’d just get in the way

that was all he thought you were… 

until you kicked todoroki’s ass one day during training

the teachers had paired everyone in the class and told you to practice your 1-on-1 combat skills using your quirk 

bakugou, who was paired with kirishima went first

you and todoroki were to be the last pair

despite a good effort put up by kirishima, bakugou still ended up winning that round

when it was finally yours and todoroki’s turn, bakugou paid extra attention

in his mind, he knew todoroki was powerful and someone to watch out for

but what happened was quite unexpected

you maneuvered easily through todoroki’s attacks with a combination of physical prowess and creative usage of your quirk

let’s just say his ice didn’t work on you and he was caught off guard, allowing you to snatch a win 

needless to say, most of your classmates were a bit surprised at first

bakugou included

they knew you were strong but they didn’t know you were that skilled

whatever the rest of the class thought didn’t matter to bakugou though

all he knew was that now he had to keep an eye on you

STAGE II ( perspective ) ;

after that event, bakugou did indeed keep his eye on you

it started off with him observing your moves whenever the class had to do any training exercises 

he saw you fight with todoroki a couple more times after that

those didn’t end in easy victory for you as it did before because todoroki was now more wary of you

however, the way you evaded and countered his attacks was something to be praised

in bakugou’s subconscious opinion at least

your moves were carefully thought out and bakugou could see that

he could see the effort and practice you had put into perfecting them

not only that, he could also see the natural talent that you had to be able to become this strong

and it wasn’t only your fighting capabilities

you were also smart

maybe he hadn’t noticed it before but he did now

you seemed to always know the answer when a teacher called on you and your grades were great

slowly, but surely, you gained respect in his eyes 

if he knew one thing about you, it was that you were maybe the tiniest bit better than the other extras 

for a while it stayed like this, him acknowledging you but never making it obvious and you just doing your thing

that was of course until one day in the morning before class started

mina, kirishima, and sero were talking about things as they usually were and somehow the conversation led to you

they were talking about how strong and smart you were and going on about stuff

bakugou must’ve turned his head in their direction or something but mina noticed him listening so asked him cheekily what he thought of you

“y/n? of course they’re strong. anyone could see that.”

he said that pretty loudly and didn’t seem to notice you walking into the classroom

and of course you heard

“did my ears deceive or did the bakugou katsuki just praise me?” you teased

he was pretty embarrassed, blushing and sweating a bit but trying to hide it

soon after though, class started and the ordeal was forgotten

but something about that interaction led to you and bakugou becoming closer

closer in that instead of passing the other off as another strong classmate as you usually would, you’d actually greet each other and talk 

you’d say hello to him in the mornings and goodbye after school and he’d just grunt or nod your way

but this was what it meant to be close to bakugou anyway

during the weeks that passed, bakugou found himself noticing you even more

before he only paid attention to your skills and thought about you as an enemy or rival of sorts

now it seems as if he’s just noticing the little things about you and your personality that make you who you were

he wasn’t doing it on purpose god forbid

no no it was just him being unknowingly observant

weeks turned into months and months turned into years

in a blink of an eye, you were all well in your second year

with everything that happened, you and bakugou became close

close enough for you to tease him at random times and close enough for him to ask you to fight him as training

by then it was safe to say bakugou knew you

he knew the little quirks you had 

he knew your different smiles, your different laughs

he knew your favorite foods and your not so favorite ones

he knew the many different little things that made you you

STAGE III ( contradiction ) ;

before the start of the third year, the class decided to have a little get-together party of sorts

to celebrate the start of their last year in high school and to catch up as everyone’s been busy with internships and whatnot

you spent the break away from tokyo so it’s been a while since you saw the rest of the class

naturally you were excited to be able to meet them all casually again before the intense studying and training that awaited you all 

bakugou, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited

frankly, he could do without seeing the class before school

but when he heard you were going to be there, he also agreed to go

so there you two were with the rest of the class at a cinema buying drinks and popcorn before your movie started

the neon lights and the prospect of popcorn lit up your face and bakugou couldn’t help but stare

there was just something, something he couldn’t quite figure out

it’s not that you were beautiful, it’s not that you looked cute in that outfit, it’s not that your smile was making his heart flutter

no it wasnt any of that true though they may be

you just.. you looked nice

thats why he was staring

yeah he hasn’t seen you in a while and you come back looking *nice* 

of course he would stare

anyone would

apparently you had noticed him staring though, so you sent a wink and a grin his way before turning back to the popcorn and drinks

in other words, you killed him

with ridiculously high levels of cute and nice

kirishima and sero were just watching the whole thing happen and hell was it obvious to them

their boi was falling hard

now they knew he’d never admit it and they knew you weren’t likely to do anything about his “crush” even if it was obvious to you too

so…

while bakugou was busy helping you carry your popcorn, they devised a rather devious plan

operation: jelly burst

objective? none other than to make explody boiy jealous

for what reason? no reason really it’s just fun to mess with him and this is probably the first time he’s had this big a crush

once everyone finished buying popcorn and was walking into the cinema, operation: jelly burst was put into action

“hey y/n ! come sit next to me” — sero

so you did, nothing strange bout that, sero was a good of yours anyway, nothing strange at all

bakugou moved to come sit next to you too but kiri hurried past him and sat down on your other side before he could

“oh hey bakubro didn’t see ya there sorry”

the seat kirishima stole was the last seat on the aisle

and bakugou was forced to go sit somewhere else

alone

poor guy</3

the seat he found was a few rows above yours though and all went according to the jelly burst plan

by the end of the movie, bakugou was in the foulest mood and no one, except for the 2 lads sitting on either side of y/n, knew why

operation: jelly burst didnt end there though

see they got him jelly but they haven’t gotten him to burst

the next week at school, kirishima and sero both acted really nice to you

it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but they did talk to you just a tad bit more than usual

either way bakugou noticed big time and he did not like it

he did not like it one bit

the jelly was there alright

it was just boiling to unprecedented levels

pretty soon, the boys dumped the idea of operation: jelly burst 

mainly cos it was taking too long 

but also because bakugou had become at least 10x more hostile

except to you of course

for some reason, a reason absolutely no one could figure out(sarcasm intended), he was just

quiet around you

didnt yell but didnt really talk to you either

whenever anyone else, kiri and sero especially, tried to talk to him though, he’d shout louder and be a lot ruder to them 

he’s just agitated

and he knew why he was that way

he’s just in denial about it

he’s also in denial about the reason why

why couldn’t he just accept his feelings and act on it already?

kirishima asked him that one day in the dorms

he saw bakugou staring very intensely straight at you without blinking for a full minute

“look man, don’t even try to tell me you don’t like y/n. it’s obvious and i’m not an idiot. you aren’t either.”

“i know shitty hair. it’s just… i’m me. and she’s y/n. nothing’s ever gonna happen.”

“you don’t know that”

“but i do. cmon, she’s just so fucking perfect even with all her flaws. and i’m just the loud guy with exploding hands and no emotions.”

kiri was surprised honestly

this wouldn’t be the first time bakugou was insecure around him but the way bakugou talked about you and how he implied he wasn’t worthy

damn that hit kirishima 

“bakubro, i’m gonna help you”

STAGE IV ( intimacy ) ;

ever since he told kirishima abt what’s been bothering him about you and ever since kirishima declared he’d help, bakugou became more…

quiet

he was still loud, but he just became a soft kind of loud now(?)

it was like he got calmer and he was assured that things would be okay

of course things were not okay

why? because ever since bakugou fully accepted his feelings for you, he doesnt know how to act around you

the other day you asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner cause you were cooking tonight

his answer:

“you”

“umm..”

“-you can make anything you want. i’ll eat whatever.”

that and a lot of other little awkward incidents started occurring

also maybe it was just the weather but he always seemed red whenever you saw him

it wasn’t the weather though

it was him being shy and nervous and flustered

which made bakusquad extremely weirded out cause seeing him like that is like seeing aizawa cheerfully smiling and wearing bright color clothes

it was weird af and was just not right

anyway, mina’s advice to him was to try to get closer to you

“but we’re already close”

“no i mean closer on a personal level. ask her how her day was or ask her random stuff about her likes and dislikes or her hobbies or literally anything”

“oh… ok then”

and so he tried that

he tried getting closer to you by greeting you every morning and sometimes asking you if you slept well

you found it odd

it certainly was odd, but you didn’t mind

if you ask him why he asks about your sleep he just goes red and says he needs to make sure his opponent for his afternoon sparring session is well-rested and healthy

speaking of the sparring sessions…

he asks you to spar more often than usual and actually makes small talk during your breaks

he was also a lot nicer to you, offering to help carry stuff for you and assisting you in the little things

like getting a mug from the kitchen’s high shelves or picking up the pencil you accidentally dropped

what he did worked though and within a few weeks, the two of you got a lot closer

the next step, as mina put it, was “making sure she knew you weren’t interested in her as a friend”

now that was hard for bakugou to do

“it’s not that hard. you could just tell her.”

bakugou: ..??

“basically confess”

bakugou: wha- *shortcircuits*

CONFESSING

he never thought about that

he actually has

he knew in his mind he’d have to do it eventually if he wanted to have you

but he didn’t think it would be *this soon*

“dont think that much and just tell her you like her”

“you’re making it sound easy”

“because it is!”

he groaned internally

he’s faced tons of villains and been in quite the number of fearful situations but the fear he felt now was completely different 

“look if you’re afraid of rejection just confess like this”

*sero clears throat*

“*y/n i like you and i would like to be something more than friends. i’m not going to pressure you into anything so if yoh don’t want to we can just pretend this never happened>:)”

“...”

bakugou ended up confessing the next day though

just not like that

it was a spur of a moment thing and he wasn’t really aware he said it until you responded

the two of you were sparring as usual and you had just gotten close enough to knock him down and pin him to the ground

in that moment you were just so beautiful and amazing and everything and he just couldn’t keep it in apparently 

“i like you”

“w-what?”

“what?”

“did you just say you liked me?”

“like not liked dumbass”

“:o present tense o:”

well long story short, you like him too and you tell him that and you two just sit there grinning like idiots 

from then on things didn’t change much

you and bakugou still talked, although maybe more than usual

and still sparred with each other, although maybe less seriously and more playfully

some were surprised when it became known you were together

some weren’t 

whatever other people thought though, they couldn’t deny one thing:

bakugou looked at you as if you were the world

STAGE ∞︎ ( fallen ) .

note ; i started writing this soo long ago but then abandoned it cuz thats just me:”] bUT i decided that since its his birthday i might as well finish it up and finally post it u.u,,, also TYSM @animebsposts for helping me with this ily and ur amazing<3

taglist ; ( send ask to be added ! ) @lilikags​

[fujopup]

AFAB!reader x sub Takemichi

(A/N: I havent written a ff in so long 😭)

CW: Femdom, edging, degradation, feminization.

You decided to bring your boyfriend Takemichi with you to the mall. You were some what nervous because this would be the first time takemichi goes to Victoria's Secret with you. Usually you would go with Hina or Mitsuya so they could help you find cute lingerie.

As takemichi was ranting about how annoying costumers can be at the dvd shop you spotted a familiar store just by the jewelry shop.

"Hey michi I need to stop by this store real quick, you can wait outside if you want to."

"Thats fine (y/n), I'll come inside with you incase you need something" he smiles and follows you inside. As soon as he stepped inside his face slowly became red, seeing all this lingerie in person was making him feel some type of way. He's seen it before in his porno mags but he'd never imagine actually being a store full of them!

As you guys walk around more you see a set of lingerie that peaks your intrest. It was this bra made out of ribbon and baby pink panties that came with a mesh mini skirt. Clutching your purse while thinking to yourself you let your mind wander for a bit. Thinking about how cute it would look on your precious Michi you picked up the set and grabbed Takemichis hand.

"Hey michi lets go to the dressing room okay?

He noded while you  dragged him throughout the store to the dressing rooms. "Hey (y/n) let me know when your done changing-" You yanked him into the dressing room. "Silly michi I want you in here with me for a reason~" you said playfully before placing your purse down on the bench.

"Wait hold on (y/n) I know we seen each other naked before but I really should be waiting for you outside the room..." He nervously let out. Looking at him you saw his eyes dart around the bleek white walls of the changing stall, trying desperately to not see your body. It was cute seeing him all flustered. You walked up to him and got close to his ear, your voice barely above a whisper croaked out

"Take your clothes off now."

As you whispered that into his ear you gently blew on it. You gave it a nibble before giggling slightly and sitting down on the bench. Takemichi then became a stuttering mess while unbuttoning his shirt.

"(y/n) were in public though..." he meekly said under his breath. You caught what he said though and decided to show him how to be a good boy for you.

"Michi baby I haven't done anything so why are you saying that like we were about to have sex huh?~" you grab his chin and lift it up so your directly staring in his eyes. "Instead of complaining why dont you be a good boy for me huh?♡" the tone of your voice was sweet but laced with annoyance.

You could feel his heart thumping like crazy, granted you never did something like this before with him so its a reasonable response. You grabbed the lingerie and put it in his hands.

"Put these on kay?♡"

The look on his face was priceless. You couldn't tell which expression came first. The look of confusion on his face or the look of disbelief. That didnt matter for long though as you saw his cheeks light up in embarrassment as he took in what you said. You felt your cheeks warm up at this and started to feel giddy.

As he put on the lingerie set you couldn't help but fawn over how smooth he was. Takemichi really didnt grow body hair like that so seeing his smooth body in all baby pink lingerie while looking so embarrassed was turning you on as the seconds passed.

"Goodboy michi! You put it on without any issue, you look so cute in this♡" you pet his head for a brief moment and step back. His cute pink nipple were perked up and his cock looked so pretty behind the satin panties.

"(yyy/nnn)!" He wined out as he rubbed his legs back and forth. "Aww is my baby feeling embarrassed? Thats so cute" you walked infront of him and stuck your hand out. You then started to flick and pinch on his nipples making him sharply inhale and shake his body. As you kept tugging and pulling on them takemichis grunts turned into soft moans.

As you get ready to let them go you feel something poke your leg. You looked down and saw his dick peeking out of the panties, his cre cum starring to leak out. "What happened to your embarrassment michi? Dont tell me your actually getting turned on by being in womens lingerie." You smirked at him as your index finger flicked his tip.

"M'not getting turned on by tHAT-" he cries out as you start to jerk him off. You start to crush his dick a little bit loving the sounds thats coming out of him. Everytime his moans were getting higher and higher you'd stop completely and watch him desperately hump the air.

His legs started to give out on him so you guided him to the chair and resumed the edging on his dick. This time though you noticed his eyes getting wet with tears as his choked sobs filled the air.

"oh (y/n) let m-me cum please! I'll be a good boy just let me cum." He cried out. You looked at him and smirked. You let out a small giggle and started to stroke his cock twice as fast. Smearing his pre cum around his tip you brought your mouth 2 inches away from the head and blew on it. This made him jerk his hips up so high and you heard this long mewl come from his lips.

"Michi baby I'll let you cum okay?~ I pinky promise♡" The brunette was so overstimulated he didnt catch how your tone changed while saying that. You kept pumping his dick, the pre cum making squelching noises as you went faster and faster.

"Fuck (y/n) im gonna cum m'really gonna cum!" As he was reaching his climax he felt all warmth from his dick go away in a instantly.

"Now now we cant have you cumming just yet ta-ke-mit-chy♡~" you sung out in a playful yet sinister voice. You got up and brushed your self off. The noise your michi made made you cream on the spot. His desperate whine made you want to laugh in his face and tease him forever and ever. He started crying as he desperately tried humping you leg.

You slapped his dick swiftly and stared at him. "Bad boy! Who gave you permission to hump me like a bitch in heat." You wrapped your hand around his neck and squeezed slightly. "The next time you do something without my permission I'll spank your ass so hard everyone outside the store will be able to hear you." You let him go and handed him his clothes.

"Lets go michi! I'll pay for the lingerie with my card." You grabbed your purse and helped takemichi dress himself. It was very awkward paying for the lingerie as everyone saw takemichi leaning on you for support due to his boner still being semi erect. As y'all made it back to the car you realized that he was still erect.

Part 1 end.

[bloodycassian]

Azriel x Reader - Trying. 

TW- DEPRESSION//sadness - Thank you anon for this request. I have struggled with Dysthymia for almost my whole life. It felt good to write this little piece of representation. 

Nothing but a ghost. Like the two wraiths that waited to serve you at your command. The wraiths that had nothing to do. Granted, they had tried pushing food on you, or books or paints or whatever other form of entertainment or sustenance but you ignored them. Knowing that if you had put up the fight to say anything you may lose your control completely and break down. You could let the time pass, numbly without a care. It was better than having to deal with the reality of not being alive at all.

  Rhysand had set you up in a beautiful room in the house of wind after the village attack. You could see the entire city below and the ocean beyond. It did nothing for you. If he was hoping for some kind of gratitude he didn't show it. He simply explained the house would provide if needed and that he would check in weekly. You were surprised he wasnt asking for more - that he wasnt going to try to get any information from you about Hybern's forces on the continent. After months of war you had become numb to the idea of peace. It never seemed like an option anymore. Perhaps the two generals he had brought with him to save your village had gotten all the information they needed.

  Weeks of sleeping later and you felt your eyes getting heavy again while looking out to the Sidra. The bright city below seemed buzzing with excitement about the upcoming summer solstice. You couldn't wait until you could go to bed. The tower of books on the table beside you casted a shadow over your feet, then your legs, up to your arms. Until finally, it was dark on the balcony, the stars above twinkling like the white caps on the ocean. Dread twisted in your gut, and you slowly got up, letting your body adjust to the change. Dark spots edged in around your vision.

  You could feel the chasm open inside you. The pit of loneliness - the empty void of demons waiting to take you as soon as you dropped your guard. The head rush from getting up made you want to vomit. The acid in your stomach churned, burning up to your throat. Fasting for so long would make Rhysand force your hand to eat, you knew. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try. You felt weighted, like there was a tired blanket over your being and you couldn't get it off no matter how hard you tried. The demons pulled at you.

The pain was good though, a solid reminder of why you would not eat. Why you could not eat. You did not deserve such a pleasure. You doubted you could stomach anything more than crackers anyway after weeks of fasting. Rhysand was not subtle with his advances of trying to get you to try food when he visited. The smell of some of the treats he brought made you gag at times. Your stomach howled at you now though.

  The knock on the door didnt surprise you. It was time for the high lord's weekly visit where you would tell him everything was fine and you didnt need anything. And he would try to get through your shields, and there would be a flash of disappointment on his face at the obsidian stone you would slam down on him. Then he would leave. And you could let the sting of that disappointment burn you alive until you were on the bed sobbing.

  "Enter, your highness." You smiled to yourself slightly, knowing the title would bother him. The voice that came once the door opened made you whip around. Not Rhys. "Actually..." The spymaster. The general that had guarded your village while the other barreled through the enemy lines. "Rhys was busy. He sent me instead." He stood in the doorway, tentatively.

  "Oh.." You felt your cheeks go red at the embarrassment of him seeing you like this. From the defender of your village to..what? A tired being that craved nothing more than to simply not exist anymore? "What is he doing?" You asked out of courtesy only. You were used to the high lord seeing your mess of a room, but Azriel was.. different for some reason. You walked over to the bed and kicked the sheets under the frame. Attempting to tidy up even slightly. The rest of the room was a mess of clothes and empty containers, drink cups. Nerves made your heart race.

"Nightmares?" He asked, stepping inside and closing the oak door behind him. He leaned on it, arms crossed over his chest. His simple tunic seemed to eat the light in the room, not reflecting a thing.

  Your face burned. You felt your eyes sting. Clearing your throat you nodded, folding your arms over your middle. Your ribs seemed to jut out more now that he was watching you. You watched him, as his shadows snaked around his shoulders and curled around his ear. They searched the room. You sighed, going to the closet beside him -ignoring the mirror mounted there- and pulling out a folding chair. You placed it next to your own, facing out to the starry sky. You sat in the familiar padded chair, leaning on the arm rest. The half cup of cold tea next to the book tower rattled slightly on its plate as he approached. A bubble of tranquil quiet seemed to encapsulate the area. A feeling you recognized as relief flowed through your bones. You felt the tension in your body fade slightly. You breathed a bit easier, like he was taking a weight off your chest.

He sat next to you for a long while before he spoke. "I used to hate night time." His voice was level. You tore your eyes away from the most interesting spot on the floor where you were thinking of nothing to look at him.

  He kept his eyes out to the balcony, a cool wind gusting through. His wings were folded in tight behind him, the shadows coiling over everything in the room. The trees below sighed at the caress of the breeze. The night seemed to finally speak as he spoke. He brought his hands together in front of him, rubbing over the scarred texture there. "I would hear absolutely everything in that basement. I could tell when night fell, even without windows. I could hear the beasts hunting outside, or my bastard father getting drunk and-" His hands clenched, and you thought you heard his teeth grind together. "He was a cruel male. To everyone, even my half brothers."

  A shudder rippled through you. You wondered what he had done to Azriel, if his father was cruel to his more beloved children. They had forced him into that basement, even when they knew first hand how Illyrians craved the sky. He knew of total darkness and silence - of pain that seemed to stretch on without end. He knew loneliness, he was locked up with it for the first part of his life. His shadows circled around your ankles like a cat, like they recognized you. Your voice was little more than a whisper as you spoke. "I dont even know whats wrong with me." You were relieved your tears didnt spill over. They pricked your eyes but you blinked them away.

He was quiet, taking in the information. "I didnt either until I found out what a shadow singer is." He paused, glancing at you as you tucked your legs up under yourself. "It dosent mean anything is wrong, it just means you need help sometimes. To figure out exactly what you need." He stood from the chair and flexed his wings, the shadows collecting around him like a puddle.

  He held a hand out to you, patient even while you considered. Getting out of the chair seemed like so much work with such a tired body. Tired soul, tired spirit. Anything beyond existence seemed like a complete burden. But his hand there, waiting, unwavering. Challenging. it made you sigh and finally, stiffly get out of the chair that housed you. The chair that had sucked you in, prisoned you for months.

His smile was stunning. His dark eyes seemed to light up. He led you on to the balcony and leaned over the railing. The pines far below rustled with the breeze. You swore you could hear the Sidra as well, bubbling with the current over the rocks. "How did you get out?" You asked, your eyes locking into his. He looked at you without sorrow, no fear or judgement lurked there. Just that half smile that had stayed since you stood from that chair.

"I was.. released by my father, but I still had to battle the darkness that I had learned. It wasn't until I met Rhysand and his mother that I began to... cope." He contemplated for a moment, his wings moving slightly with the wind that came through. "I'm familiar with what you're feeling. I ask that you try. I can come back again if you'd like." He left it as an open ended question, not as a demand or promise.

  "Just try? You're not gonna make a checklist for me?" You mocked, he just shook his head. "I think I would like that." You answered. At least he wouldnt pester you as much as the high lord did. At least he could bring this feeling of relief to your bones. He nodded, and the shadows seemed to spike, receding from the room and joining him, wrapping around his body and melding him with the night. "I'll be back tomorrow, then." He said simply, raising himself on to the balcony railing with ease.

  You nodded, wringing your hands with nerves as you watched him flare his wings, preparing to fly. "Dont let the bed eat you, Rhys wouldn't be happy if I had to break more of his furniture." He said over his shoulder with a wink. You felt a fleeting smile come to your lips as he jumped, wings catching him as he glided on the wind. You made a note to yourself to ask what other furniture he had ruined.

  He disappeared quickly, the shadows and the comfy bubble of silence gone. When you closed the door to the balcony and turned back to your chair, there was a plate of crackers and fruit waiting there. Your stomach rolled at the thought. Instead, you went to the closet, putting his chair away. You made a mental note to get a different seating option for him, to accommodate the wings. Knowing he was coming back, you saved yourself the future embarrassment and began picking up your clothes, putting them into the corner bin where they disappeared. You didnt pause long enough to check to see if the clothes were reappearing clean in the closet, you just kept cleaning. Trusting the house to understand you were in fact, trying. You dared not pause, knowing if you stopped there wouldn't be a beginning again.

  You went as far as requesting a mop and bucket from the Wraiths. They were wide eyes with shock at your room, at your abruptness. But they said nothing about it, just bringing you the items you requested and then some. Naula snuck in a plate of meat and cheese, leaving it next to the crackers on the end table now that there was more room with the book pile cleaned up.

  You requested the extra chair. They promised it would be in the room by morning. You made your bed, and once you were satisfied with the shining floors you stood back to admire your work. It looked like a different space, clutter gone and the books organized again. You had given the cups the Cerridwen before they left, thanking them both.

You went to your chair, hesitant to sit. The wear marks on the arm rests and the seat were apparent. Instead, picked up the plate of fruit and crackers and took it to the bench at the end of the bed, picking at the more neutral fruit as you went. A spark of something bloomed in your chest at the thought of Azriel coming back. Of what his reaction would be at the clean look of your room. You dared to hope that he would notice at all. Something told you though that he would consider this trying. He made it sound so easy.

  The bed welcomed you, clean sheets caressing your legs as you fell into the most peaceful sleep you had in a long while.

[ohheyitsokay]

🎉Congratulations lovely! 🎊

The tattooed phrase trope is absolute gold in soulmate AU fics.

Am also a sucker for rivals to lovers ^^

Maybe a fluffy little piece between Poe and the reader with the Reader's phrase being "Well show me what you've got then, flyboy?"

hellooo welcome to the chaos (since you're new here!)

I'll do my best, I hope you enjoy!

warnings: I think this is just fluff, with vague mentions canon typical drama

>>

soulmate requests / follower celebration

<<

There was something about those hanger hallways, something that made it feel like you had to walk fast.

Maybe it was the clean sharp lines, and the regular announcements, and the smooth lines of droids on their merry way.

Maybe it was the urgency of saving the universe from pompous 'rulers' who thought they had any idea what was best.

Or, maybe you just liked to move quickly.

It was in your blood - not because you were born into it, but because you had shed blood, with sweat and tears to get to where you were. And because the universe had half dictated it that way.

"I hardly think it matters. Not that I dont think good pilots help, but I dont save lives," you retorted to the rebel beside you, her steps in pace with yours. "Not like you."

"Become a medic then," Jane rolled her eyes. Your mouth opened, words still forming on your tongue, before your friend stopped dead, hands on her hips. The hallway was forked, little labels indicating youd half pulled her in the wrong direction.

"Hush," she said. "I dont care what excuse you have this time. We both know you don't have a option." Eyebrows raised, and you sighed, dodging another hurried rebel as they almost tripped on a little mouse droid.

On your arm for years now were the words So, you're a pilot?

Long nights you'd spent arguing about fate with your friends - you loved flying, you really did, but-

"It's such a glory job," you always protested.

"Main characters are pilots," she would reply, her sturdy shoulders shrugging. Her agreement didnt make you feel better. If you were lucky, someone else would add, "But you're not like that."

Because you weren't. You were just... you.

"I just want to help people." And no one would argue because that was true, too.

It hadnt come upon awhile, fate, and short lived careers, and how infuriating it was when people held nations lives in their hands because they loved the attention. You lived with it, and kept your mouth shut. because General Organa needed all the help she could get.

And you couldn't deny that you loved it, and it was easier to bear the stress of reality when you didnt think too hard. But -

"Why is this coming up again?" A rhetorical question, delivered with a smirk, and responded to with a childish face.

Jane was pulling you down the opposite hallway, towards the bay, and your stomach twisted, despite the friendly teasing. He was there, you'd told her before, so she knew the reason you'd been antsy, looking for something to blame.

Poe Dameron.

A hotshot pilot, maybe the best in the galaxy. An infuriatingly handsome, ridiculously charismatic, obnoxiously smart, stupidly kind rebel who had nearly blown up your favorite x-wing.

You couldnt decide if he deserved an award or a good solid slap to his cheek. The favored option switched each day, but nothing would come from either - you had never actually talked to him, always too afraid of... what youd be opening yourself up to.

Becaus even from far away you saw him, late at night repairing that dumb x-wing with his bubbly little bb unit, talking to the little thing like he really was sorry. Because you saw him hugging a new recruit, talking to them for what must have been hours after their first mission. Because his smile, the same one that had captured the hearts of almost everyone around, was full of thoughtfulness and earnestness and confidance.

And if you didnt tell yourself that he was selfish, flying for all the wrong reasons, and that you were going to show him? If you didnt protest that your attention was solely in seeking pilot humility?

Then, Maker help you, you were in love with him.

"Shut up," you said sternly, as your friend grinned, and the two of you approached the ship you'd spent all morning checking and rechecking. Her response blew away, drowned under the noise of chatter and intercom announcements and the chaos of the hanger.

A hard hug, a fistful of fabric, and shouts to stay safe, and both her and her teasing disappeared, and your turned the the hunk of metal above you.

"So, you're a pilot?" It was the words, but the voice that made you flinch. You'd heard him before, voice like dark caf in mornings, sweetened at the edges with golden honey.

No way he was talking to you.

"I mean, obviously you're a pilot." Why was he here? Wasn't his ship... oh. Next to yours.

"And a damn good one, I hear," he kept talking. Your words were sticking in your throat, alarm bells screaming to tell him off, to spit out your righteous lecture or tell him to mind his own business or something. You unintentionally ignored him, but he just... kept talking, content to let you work opposite of him.

"I... I've seen you around." For the first time, your gaze snapped into his, wondering at the nervousness of his tone. Regretting it instantly, you turned away. His eyes were like his voice, dark and warm and bad for you. Bad, bad, bad.

"You talk about how we do this for others."

Hand on the top rung of your ladder, you paused, this time looking at him deliberately. He really wanted to have this conversation? And... Maker it felt like you'd hit an asteroid. All those walls, sharp and sturdy like tempered metal, crumbling around you.

He shouldve looked smaller, hanging from his own ladder like he didn't have anywhere to be, but he didnt. Of course he didn't.

"I agree," he said, awkwardness replaced with a resolute phrase. Almost a promise.

And you grinned.

"Well," you held his gaze as he pulled himself up another rung, to be even with you. "Show me what you've got then, flyboy."

And he grinned back.

He disappeared from view for a moment as you pulled yourself into the cockpit, and your mind, which had gone blissfully silent, abruptly began to scream.

Something - something just happened - but it was time to go, and you had a mission, and the coms were switching on, and -

Looking over you saw him, his beautiful eyes as wide as yours felt.

And then you got the all-clear for take-off.

-

He had searched for you the moment you landed. You knew he did.

But you had landed a row away from where he did and hunkered down in the cockpit and tried to breathe and process the mission - a resounding success - and the terrifying thought that you had maybe just found your soulmate. And been one slightly-less-perfect maneuver away from losing him again.

He - he probably got swept away int he rush of celebrating crowds like he always did. Not that you noticed.

The phrase, on your arm, it was... it was common, right? Anyone could say it.

The whole mission you'd shoved it out of your mind, only focused on getting everyone out of there alive, and now that it was over...

You didnt know what to do. The hanger was quiet, void of cheering crowds and pilots alike, and you climbed out, hitting the ground with a thud.

Poe was waiting for you, looking almost shy as he buried his hands in his pockets. Sleeves rolled up, you saw words youd never noticed before... words you'd felt in your mouth mere hours ago.

"How'd I do?" He asked, his smile small, dark eyebrows bending in.

Like before, the chaos of your thoughts stilled, storm waves settling to a gentle tide. You walked towards him, wondering at the feeling.

"Not too bad," you said, trying your hand at a matching smile. It came easy, easier than you were prepared for.

"Yeah?" Was he always so tall?

"Didnt get anyone killed."

"Good point," his voice sounded rough, and... he was close.

"I think," Poe wet his lips, and you could almost feel it, he was so close. "I think my soulmate prefers it that way." He was right.

Hand on that broad chest, flight suit streaked with who knows what, you kissed him.

He kissed you.

Warm and sweet.

And slow.

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz @saradika @zinzinina

[laddieseddiemunster]

A poly lost boys x reader who gets bullied in school. But hear me out! So she gets bullied but one day they(the bullies) pour this sort of 'bleach' over her and it gets into her eyes and her hair color changed. And so she avoids the boys as much as possible so they show up to her house and see her how would they react and deal with the bullies?

Thank you for the request! Also the part where she gets bleach in her eyes I cut out because she would have permanent damage in her eyes if that were to happen. So only her hair gets bleached. I hope you don’t mind.

Another long fanfic :) hope you enjoy!

Bullied (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

warning(s): angst & violence

Being picked on every now and then is one thing, but being brutally bullied by the most popular girls in school is another. The worst part was, everyone seemed to love and worship them. You hated going to school. Everyone believed their nasty comments about you, and soon you didn’t have anyone on your side.

The boys were your only escape from it all. They treated you like a princess. You were gorgeous to them, and that’s all that really mattered. Their complements made you feel special and confident. As long as you were beautiful in their eyes, the nasty girls that were bullying you opinions didn’t phase you. Of course it still hurt, but you had the boys, and you loved them.

You got used to the bullying after a while. The boys were unaware of it because you didn’t know exactly how they’d react. They were a bit protective of you. Before you met the boys the bullying wasn’t as bad, but when you started dating them it got worse. Those horrible girls found out and started called you a whore and slut for dating four boys at once. They were jealous. You knew that, but the harsh name calling got to you sometimes. You never let them see you cry though. All they wanted was to get a reaction out of you, and you knew that.

This day didnt start off any different from the rest. You went to school, got some dirty looks from your schoolmates, and went to your classes. The only difference was, you hadn’t seen the mean girls who’d bully you. Perhaps today would be better than you’d thought.

Lunch came around and you were forced to eat some of the disgusting cafeteria food. The smell made you want to gag. As you were walking towards the lunch tables [insert bully girl name] called you over to her. You didn’t trust her one bit. She had been bullying you for a while, so why should you trust her?

“Come here! I just wanna talk to you,” she said waving you over to her. You rolled you eyes thinking that she was just going to pick on you. You decided to walk over anyway, but standing a couple feet away from her to keep your distance.

She looked over at you, giving you the up and down stare. “So, hows your day been?”

“Okay, I guess,” You said feeling very confused. There was no way this girl would want to start a friendship with you.

“Well, I called you over here because I wanted to ask you a few questions,” She said which made you feel a bit worried.

“What kind of questions?” You asked giving her a questioning look.

“Well i wanted to know if you were really dating those four guys?” She asked with a slight smirk on her face. “Or if it’s just a rumor.”

You rolled your eyes again thinking she was just going to call you a whore. “Yes I am.”

Instead of doing that, she sighed and looked to the ground. “You must be lucky.”

“Yeah umm, yeah I guess I am,” You said with a small smile creeping on your face as you thought of how lucky you were.

“Actually, umm,” she said with a pause. “I didn’t call you over here to ask you questions.”

You sighed. “Then why’d you call me over here?” You asked with slight attitude knowing that this girl was not trustworthy.

“I wanted to apologize,” she said fidgeting a bit.

“For what?” You said giving her a strange look. If she was going to give you an apology for all those years of bullying, then you wanted to hear her say it.

“I’m sorry for...” she paused again. Her eyes looked to the ground as she was speaking. Then all of a sudden her expression changed. Her apologetic frown changed into a slight smirk, but at the same time she was giving you a look of disgust in her eyes. “I’m sorry for your boyfriends, because they have to deal with an ugly slut like you!” She smiled as if she was proud of what she was saying. You sighed again while mentally cursing yourself for even believing that she’d give you an apology.

“Now!” She yelled but you could tell that she wasn’t talking to you. She backed away from you quickly as if she was running for something. Then all of a sudden you felt some drops of liquid start to fall on you. At first you thought it was rain, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. You weren’t too fazed by it until you recognized the smell. It was a strong smell that was hard to forget. Before you could try to run away, a whole waterfall of the substance was dumped on top of you. As if someone was standing above you with a bucket and on purposely dropped it all over you.

The smell was now stronger than ever. Your hair and clothes were now all wet, but not with water. You noticed your top had completely lost its color, and a nightmare you’d never thought would happen to you was happening. This was bleach. You were practically inhaling it, so you started to cough. A sound that happened to be louder than your coughing made you pause. Laughter. From the girls you hated the most. You looked above you and saw that a couple of them were standing on the building you were in front of, so you were right below them.

Reality sunk in quick. This was no nightmare. Your worst enemies had just poured bleach all over you. Your hands started to shake. Not out of pain, but out of fear and shock.

“Hey y/n!” One of the girls said while still laughing. “It’s not so bad. Maybe your boyfriends will like you now, since your hair is bleached.” She cackled.

Your heart sunk to your stomach. Bleach can ruin anyone’s hair, and it was all over you. The sound of those terrible girls laughing filled your ears as you ran to the nearest bathroom. You looked in the mirror and realized your hair was already loosing its natural color. You let out a loud gasp, but to you it sounded silent. You didn’t look like yourself.

Quickly, you turned the handle for the sink letting the water run on your now bleached hair. You tried desperately to remove the beach and get your original color back, but nothing worked. The roots of your hair were now all the same yellow/blonde color.

“Oh, don’t be upset!” Said one of the bully’s. “You don’t look like your ugly self anymore!”

“Go away!” You yelled at them with your bottom lip trembling as you were trying to hide the fact that you were on the brink of sobbing. “Leave me alone!”

“Aww, you gonna cry?” They taunted you. “The little baby’s gonna cry!” You pushed past them and ran out of the bathroom letting tears escape your eyes. You could still hear their laughter and insults from behind you, but you didn’t look back. You ran all the way home not caring that you still had a couple classes to take. Their bullying was never this bad. You were able to handle it for a while, but they crossed the line.

The reflection in your bedroom mirror wasn’t the person you recognized. You felt ugly. Your hair was now all bleached, and you didn’t have the money to go and get it done. All you could do was try to get used to it. Your confidence level was now at zero. You had grown to love your natural hair, and now it was gone. All because of those horrible jealous girls.

The thought of the boys seeing your new hair that you thought was hideous made you want to crawl up in a hole and never come out. You hated seeing the way you now looked, so how would the boys react? You cried yourself to sleep at the thought of them leaving you because of how ugly you now looked. You decided not to go to school for the next few days. Facing the girls wasn’t something you were ready for yet. You didn’t even want to see the boys. From fear of their reactions, you didn’t visit them or call them.

The boys were a little confused on the first night of not showing up on the boardwalk, but they decided not to worry too much about it. They just assumed that maybe you needed some space. After a week of you not speaking to them, the boys started to get worried. You would never just stop talking to them out of the blue. They were all confused, and even a little sad. David knew you well enough to know that you wouldn’t stop talking to them unless you were upset about something. The only problem was, he couldn’t understand what it was. None of them could. They assumed you were mad at them because you weren’t speaking to them, but they had no idea what they had done.

David got pretty impatient after the first week, and he let the boys know that they were going to go to your house if you weren’t going to speak with them. If you wanted to break up, they wanted a reason why.

You had been trying to get some sleep from the nights of crying, but you were taken off guard by hearing the sounds of motorcycles outside your house. You recognized that sound. It was a sound you knew only too well. The boys were here, and they were here for an explanation that you weren’t prepared to give.

Kicking your blankets out of the way as you got out of bed as quick as you could while looking for something that could possibly cover your hair. You found a hoodie and immediately put on. There was no point in trying to escape, you knew the boys would find you. Right as you were putting the hood over your head, you heard your window open.

“Baby?” You could tell by the tone of voice that it was Paul. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You didn’t dare face him. You could already tell that he had his usual pouting sad face on that was just too adorable to be mean to.

“Y/n,” Marko said. “Please, look at us.” His voice was slightly shaky, as if he was worried you wanted to end the relationship.

Your back was still towards them. You knew there was no way out of this, but that didn’t stop you from trying.

“Please go away,” you said feeling tears start to form in your eyes. Marko decided to not listen. He walked up to you and grabbed you lightly by the shoulders forcing you to turn to him. He had a confused yet soft expression on his face.

“What’s the matter?” He asked you while putting his hands on both sides of your face. That question just made you feel worse, and the tears that were threatening to fall were now falling. Marko’s expression was now turned to worry and sadness. He hated seeing you cry. He wiped your tears away with his thumbs before doing what you were trying to avoid. Marko grabbed the sides of the hoodie, and pulled it off of your head.

Your eyes started to tear up again waiting for him to tell you that you looked terrible. Instead, he reached over to touch your bleached hair, and the frown on his face turned into a smile. “Wow.” he said. “You look gorgeous.”

Then they all came up to do with a look of awe in their eyes. You were definitely taken aback by their reactions. You expected them to hate your new hair, but it was the exact opposite.

“Daaammnn sugar, look at you,” Paul said while brushing his fingers through your hair. You giggled at his choice of words.

“It doesn’t look bad?” You asked.

“Bad?!” Marko exclaimed. “Far from it!”

“You look beautiful,” Dwayne said with a smile on his face. “Just as beautiful as you were before.”

“Y/n,” David said catching your attention away from the other boys. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You cringed after hearing that question. You were able to avoid it the first time, but something tells you that you won’t be able to this time. “Did you stop talking to us because you dyed your hair?” David said with slight sarcasm, but also slight attitude.

“N-no. No, it wasn’t that,” you said looking away from the boys.

“Then what was it?” David asked. You could tell he wanted an answer right away, and there wasn’t much you could do.

You sighed. “I didn’t do this to my hair,” The boys looked at each other with a look of confusion on all their faces. “It was forced.”

“What do you mean?” David asked while stroking your face with his knuckles.

“These girls pulled a prank on me last week,” you said half lying. “They dumped bleach all over me, and it changed my hair.”

“A prank?!” Marko asked raising his voice. “That’s no damn prank!” You knew Marko got angry a lot quicker than the other boys did. This wasn’t something he was going to sweep under the rug, Marko was going to want revenge.

“Yeah!” Paul agreed. “Why would they do that to you?” He asked still touching your new hair.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess they just don’t like me.” You refused to tell them that the bullying was caused because the girls were jealous of you for dating them.

“Well who are these girls? I wanna give them a piece of my mind?!” Marko exclaimed.

“No!” You knew that the boys were vampires. You found out accidentally by walking into the cave when Marko was feeding. It didn’t go to well, but the boys managed to convince you that they would never hurt you. But, you already knew that Marko wanted to kill your bullies. “You’ll just make things worse!”

“They deserve this!” Paul said only making matters worse for you. “No one does this to our babe!”

You groaned knowing that the boys wouldn’t stop arguing until they found out who the girls were. You wanted the bullying to stop, but at the same time you didn’t want the girls to die.

David put his hand under your jawline making you into his eyes. “Y/n, tell us who the girls are.” You could tell by the way David was speaking that this wasn’t a request, this was a demand. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now. You walked to your bookshelf and grabbed a yearbook from the previous school year. Flipping through the pages, you found your grade category, and pointed out each of the girls to them.

“That’s them?” Dwayne asked sounding surprised.

“Yeah, you know them?” You asked him.

“Babe, those girls have been trying to get with us for ages. We always rejected them,” Paul said which made you smile.

“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go get those girls!” Marko said clearly ready for a killing spree.

“No! Please don’t kill them,” you said grabbing onto Marko’s jacket. “They’re jerks, but they don’t deserve to die.”

“I think they do,” David said smirking at the idea of slaughtering your bullies.

“How about this,” you paused grabbing all of their attention onto you. “You guys can scare them by showing your vampire faces, and they should stay away from me after that right? They’ll probably be too scared to get near me, and no one at school will believe them!”

“I like the killing idea better,” Marko said while pouting in a playful way.

“Please.” Now you were the one pouting.

The boys looked at each other. You knew that they would rather kill all the girls, so you got lucky when they agreed to your plan.

You knew that the mean girls would go to the bonfire late at night for party’s or just to hang out, so that made your plan a bit easier. The boys loved to scare people almost as much as they loved killing, so they were excited for it all to unravel. You rode on the back of David’s bike as he drove to the bonfire with the other boys riding behind him. He drove with a smirk on his face, which meant he was ready to scare the shit out of those girls. You’re his baby, and no one better hurt you.

Luckily, when you all got there, the girls were by themselves. You decided to stay with the bikes, so the girls wouldn’t see you. The thought of being around those girls made you feel uncomfortable. They were terrible people, and you weren’t ready to face them. The boys sure were though. They were ready to make them scream out of fear.

When the girls saw the boys walk towards them they immediately started to get flirty. “What are you guys doing here? Did you come to see us?” One of them said.

“Actually we did,” David said. “We heard what you did to y/n.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry, it was an accident. I swear! The bucket of bleach just happened to drop all over her.” She said sarcastically.

“That was a really bitchy thing to do.�� Marko said not buying any of her bullshit.

“Come on, you guys. She wasn’t pretty anyways! We did her a favor. I think you all deserve someone much prettier than her.” Another one of them said walking up to David.

The girls tried to touch David’s chest, but before she could he grabbed her by the wrist. “I think you all need a taste of your own medicine.” He said before completely transforming into his vampire face. The girl gasped and started to scream. David’s grip was too strong, so she couldn’t run away. Dwayne and Paul grabbed the two girls that tried to run away, and Marko grabbed the last girl and pushed her to the ground. He pinned her to the floor with his foot on her back, and he grabbed her by the hair so she’d face up. Marko called you over to him still holding the girl down. By this point all the boys were transformed, making all the girls whimper and cry.

Marko pulled the girls hair hard making her cry out of pain. “I want you to apologize to y/n, and don’t give some sorry ass apology.”

“I-I’m sorry!” She yelled with tears of fear and pain running down her face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry y/n!”

“You’re sorry for what?!” Marko said pulling her hair again.

“I’m sorry for dumping bleach on you y/n!” She whimpered. “I’m so sorry!”

You didn’t respond to her. You wanted to feel bad for her, but you couldn’t. Actually, you felt the exact opposite. You enjoyed seeing the tears run down her face. It reminded you of all the times she made you cry. In a way, it was satisfying. In a sick twisted way, it gave you pleasure. You wanted them to suffer more. They had been making you suffer for too long, and now it was time for it to end. They were messing with the wrong girl.

“Kill them.” You said out of nowhere. The boys all turned to you. They definitely didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth.

“What?” Paul asked a bit shocked.

“Kill them.” You repeated. That was enough clarification for the boys. They started to dig in. Biting and ripping through the girls skin making them scream and sob. Instead of turning away, you decided to watch. You watched as the boys tore off the girls limbs and fingers. You listened to their screams. It didn’t scare you like it would terrify a regular person. You watched as if you were watching a cartoon on tv. The screaming didnt stop. Their faces off terror didn’t go away. It all made you happy. Those girls were getting what they deserved. Their yelps and screams were like music to your ears. Their begging and pleading made you wanna laugh. They shoudve watched what they said about you, because it came back and bit them in the ass. Literally.

The screaming soon came to a stop, and all you could hear was the wind blowing. They were dead. Their blood was all over the floor and some on the boys. You watched as the boys threw the remains of the girls into the fire. You never thought you’d be watching your worst enemies get slaughtered in front of you, and it was worth the watch. They had it coming, and now they are gone. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t feel guilty at all. For the first time in years, you could go to school without worrying about these horrible girls picking on you. Now they were nothing. You were free from those girls. Their deaths brought a smile to your face. You never had to hear their nasty words again. Now, they’re just faces on missing posters.

[cowboisadness]

Found You {Arthur Morgan x F!reader}

Summery: She was there for Arthur through everything, being more than good friends but less than partners. They support eachother through the good and bad times, it’s not love tho, no, it’s not love at all.

Rating: M. Basically porn with plot. More plot than i planned i really got carried away with this. SMUT IS HERE! 18+ ONLY!!

—–

Chapter 4 - Together

The next few days were nothing short of torture. Arthur never spoke another word to me, huffing whenever I would say something to him or just walking away from me completely. Everyone else in camp soon noticed something serious had happened between us. Their comforting words and questions on what happened went unanswered and dismissed. I hoped time would help, that I would get a chance to explain myself and apologise for my foolishness and downright stupidity. But as the days passed, the frayed ends of the rope had no chance of being reconnected, no matter how hard I tried and how hard I cried. So I flung myself into as many jobs as I could get. As a distraction.

Robbing homesteads. Stagecoaches that turned into shootouts more often than not. Gambling with fellers that were too drunk to notice me stealing their wears from right under their noses and gone before they realised anything was amiss. Fighting in hidden alleyways with meagre men that thought they could take on a woman with nothing to lose. Just to feel something, another kind of pain that would lessen with time.

It wasn’t until I was sat at the edge of the camp, cleaning my revolver while looking out over the overlook, stars raining bright above. Bottle of whiskey by my side that Hosea came over and sat beside me. Silent at first. Taking in the view.

“You going to explain whats going on?”

“Nothings going on, Hosea.” I shrugged, running the oiled cloth over the same spot mindlessly. “Arthur won’t tell me. I though out of the two of you, you would.” he kept his eyes ahead, not bothering to look at me. I sighed, my shoulders dropping in defeat. I might as well tell him, not like he would be able to change my mind.

“I’m an idiot. I spoke to Mary. Told her to leave Arthur alone and to stop contacting him.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know anymore...Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“You love him.” I could see his grin out of the corner of my eye, albeit a sad on.

“Not you too, Hosea.”

“You two were very close. Closer than you think I realise. I’m not a dumb old man you know”

I didnt reply to that. No point to, my mind was made up now. Instead, I holstered my gun and stood, picking up the bottle as I did. Turning to Hosea to finally look at him.

“I’m leaving, Hosea. Only for a few weeks or a few months. I don’t know.”

“You really think leaving will help?” “Maybe. It might help him if I’m not here. I’ll send money and write to you and Dutch. I’ve already packed.” After a few more words and questions on my plans when I’m out there on my own, we hugged and I said my goodbyes to him, Dutch and a few others. Promising the girls I will see them again, even though I was doubtful. I willed no tears to spill when I gathered my things, leaving my tent bare and hollow. Mounting my horse I left camp without looking back, letting the wind guide me in whatever direction it wanted me to go.

---

Roughly 4 months had passed since leaving. Currently holed up in a now-abandoned cabin in the depths of Grizzlies East by O’Creagh’s run, hiding from the law after robbing the fence in Van Horne. Id wrote letters and sent money to nearby stations as promised. Keeping updated with the gangs coming and goings. The last time I heard from those who would write back, mainly Hosea and Mary-Beth, was when they were held up in a place called Shady Belle. I haven’t heard anything from them since. That was a month ago. I had thought of going there, finding them. But I couldn’t bare having to leave again after realising they had been getting on fine and had left me to my own devices. Coming to the conclusion that I was not returning and that I had abandoned them all. Which was far from the truth. I still cared, which I’m sure was evident from whatever leftover money I had been sending to them. Only, it wasn’t getting picked up from the stations anymore, along with my many letters. I was travelling back to the cabin after an evening hunting for supper and hopeful breakfast. The blanket of trees now behind me, opening up the wondrous starry night, pulling my jacket closed as the cold breeze this time of year began to sting any uncovered skin. I looked around before dismounting, taking my kill of two rabbits stowed on the side of my ever faithful horse and made my way inside. Looking around once more to make sure I hadn’t been followed. Just to be safe. As I began to skin and gut the meat, the warm glow from the lantern lighting my every movement in the otherwise dark cabin, I heard motion outside. Bears and wolves were not uncommon around these parts. I had to shoot my way out of a wolf pack not a week ago, coming away with nothing but a bruise on my hip from being bucked off the horse in her desperate attempt to flee. Nevertheless, I placed down the knife and picked up my rifle propped up against the door. Looking out the window to the right of the door. Seeing nothing and hearing nothing else. I went to the door, preparing my rifle then placing my ear to the door. It was silence for a few moments, then movement again, making its way up the steps. It didn’t sound like an animal. With a hand on the handle and rifle ready to be used, I swung the door open. The rifle now aimed at the unwelcomed guest.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust in the darkness, but it didnt take long to recognise who it was.

“Arthur?” It was barely a whisper. A question of disbelief. I blinked a few times, surely my eyes were playing tricks on me.

After a few breaths, he finally spoke “I’ve found you.” We just stood there, I released a breath I didnt even know I was holding. How did he find me? Why would he? Months of keeping myself away from people the best I could and staying hidden for long periods of time I was beginning to feel content with being a lone wolf. Not thinking that lone wolves are weakened beings after too long. Often driven out when deemed useless or a weakness to the pack, or leaving to find their own family. Not alone forever, wolves would struggle and go insane.

But he, of all people, found me. The only question now is why. And that was the only thing I could say as I lowered the gun.

“Why?”

He told me everything that happened. The downfall, the betrayal, the heartbreak. Those that we lost. Everyone gone in one way or another. Sean, Kieran, Lenny, Hosea, Molly, Miss Grimshaw. Dead. Saint Denis bank, Guarma, Micah working with the Pinkertons. In the end, Micah had turned Dutch against almost everyone, whispering little worms into his ear until they grew and grew to leave no room for anything else.

Dutch turning his back on Him and John. Leaving John to bleed out and leaving Arthur on that mountain. Where he thought would be his final resting place. But once the sun was up, high in the sky, he found the energy to live. To heal. To find me.

And that’s what he did the last few weeks until he heard whispers of someone fitting my description that caused a bit of hell in Van Horn. He knew he was close.

“But...why did you want to find me?” I asked. Both of us sat around the small table below the window, two empty whiskey glasses before us.

He took in a deep breath, his perfect blue eyes meeting my bloodshot and watery ones. “I wanted to the moment I was told you left,” He leaned over, taking my hands in his.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think these last few months. Especially in the last few weeks. What you did before you left, I understand now why.”

“But I hurt you.” letting a sob escape, my body starting to tremble and I’m sure he could feel it in my hands.

“It did hurt. But losing you hurt even more,” He said, nothing more than a whisper, his eyes never leaving mine and his hold on my hands not faltering as he continued. “I remember what you said to me that night years ago. ‘Bout not knowing how much I mean to you. Well - I - I do. Because I feel the same. Always have. it just took me a while to realise it I guess.”

I couldn’t stop the tears. The damn had busted open. Within seconds he was on me, his arms enveloping me, my hands coming to purchase on his shirt. Neither of us wanted to let go, out of fear the other would disappear into the air like dust in the morning rays. We held each other for what felt like an eternity, my tears slowing and the shaking subsiding. I lifted my head from where it was perched on his chest to look at him, our eyes locked once more. No words were spoken but I could see it in the depths of those pools, the forgiveness and longing. And I was sure my eyes mirrored the same. His hand came up to cradle my face and I instinctively leaned into him, my breathing hitching despite the calmness that washed over me. Then I looked into his eyes again, only to be met with a look I had not seen in many years. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could he surged forward, his lips on mine. It was delicate, more fragile than any other kiss we had shared. It wasn’t long until that fragility turned into desperation, my hands at the nape of his neck, his on my waist. My mind was running a million miles a minute, all thoughts of him and this moment. Feeling like we were young lovers again. His hands roamed my sides as I gripped his hair, keeping each other glued to one another. My body began to burn up, feelings I had repressed for months pushing their way to the surface, refusing to be drowned. We broke apart and he pulled me to stand, his lips now on my neck, trailing wet kisses from below my ear to the hollow of my neck, causing me to moan. He looked at me then, desperation and pleading etched upon his face before I kissed him again. Kissing the scar on his chin that was easily visible within the stubble, his jaw, down to his neck and then his chest. Pushing off his jacket and suspenders with it. My fingers returned to the front of his shirt, undoing the buttons slowly as he pushed me back into the direction of the bed. My legs soon coming into contact with the edge. His hands now making a start on my blouse, pulling it from the confines of my pants and lifting it over my head. My hands roaming his chest and snaking down to his abdomen, stroking the hair there, causing him to tense at my touch. He always was a fine man, built from hard work that I couldn't help but adore. His arms wrapping around to my back to undo the corsets lacing, completely surrounding me and all I could smell was him. Horse, rain, sweat and something that was just so undoubtedly him. Undoing his gun belt was muscle memory, hitting the floor with a thud, my corset following, now both bare from the waist up. We couldn’t wait any longer, our lips on each other once again as we worked on unbuttoning our pants. He leaned me down to lay on the bed, my legs hanging over the sides as he wasted no time to pull off the rest of my clothing. Laying there propped up on my elbows I watched as he raked his eyes over every curve, scar and freckle on my body. Kneeling between my legs he drew kisses from my knee up my thigh, getting oh so close to where I wanted him to be. He looked up at me once more, giving a shuddering breath before his mouth landed between my legs, soft but purposeful strokes easily pulling moans from me. He didn’t let up, devouring me like a man starved as he paid close attention to my little bundle of nerves. My body shaking again but for a whole different reason. It had been too long and I knew I wasn’t going to last if he kept going for a minute longer. My hands fisting the bedsheets I tried to speak but it was useless, squirming from the sensations. Lifting my legs to rest on his shoulders feeling him moan against me, the vibration causing bolts of electricity to fire through my whole body and land at my core. I could feel my orgasm rapidly approaching and my hand flew down to card through his hair, holding him there. My body convulsed as I tipped off the edge, my head rolling back as the blinding pleasure washed over me, moaning his name into the air. Arthur was above kissing me within seconds, tasting myself on his tongue and lips. Catching my breath he pushed me further up the bed until my head hit the plush pillows. Removing his pants and then situating himself between my legs. I could feel him pressed up against my thigh, hot and swollen and begging for attention. And oh how my body craved to give him what he needed. His eyes met mine, hooded and filled with lust. Silently asking for permission. I nodded, placing a kiss on his forehead and placing my hands on his shoulders. Electrifying jolts surged through my core as he strokes himself along my slit tenderly. His skin burning to my touch and looking downright drunk. Completely intoxicated. He sinks into me slowly. My body soon getting accustomed to the memory of him as he bottoms out, his hips meeting my thighs. My breath hitches as he bites back a moan. Both of us taking a moment just to bask in the feeling of one another like this again. It all felt the same but so different. He kissed the scar on my collar bone that he only got to see before when it was fresh. We had been through so much over the years we would need to learn about each other again. But one thing remained the same; my body yeard for him. He pulled out before setting a languid pace, lifting one of my legs to wrap around his waist, allowing him to go deeper, his pace quickening and lifting my hips to meet him, Chasing our pleasure. One hand in my hair, tangled up with my locks as his other hand firmly grasped my hip. The look on his face was evidence that he was holding back, needing to completely lose himself in me. And I felt the same. “Arthur...Please.” I purred, not needing to say anymore. His pace quickened with a grunt, one that was a borderline growl. My moans and the sounds of skin on skin filling the air and our ears as he kept hitting that sweet spot. My nails forming crescents on his shoulders. Pulling him down to crush my lips against his, our teeth clicking and tongues dancing together. Pulling back suddenly with swollen lips as the pressure began to build, my whole body trembling more and more as I got higher and higher. Moaning out his name as his rhythm began to falter. Nuzzling into my neck and mumbling ‘oh, fuck,’ in that gravelly but wanton voice. His hand on my hip made its way between my legs, rubbing in quick circles. I couldn’t hold back. That coil within me growing tighter and tighter before snapping. My back arching as the shockwaves rocked through me. Slowing his pace slightly to ride me through it before picking up his pace again, chasing his pleasure with a few more pumps of his hips and he stilled. His hand like a vice on my thigh as he spent himself inside me with a drawn-out moan. It took us a few moments to get our breath back. Pulling himself from me causing me to whimper from the empty feeling and sensitivity. He moved to lay beside me and pulled me to lay with my head on his shoulder. Neither of us willing to clean ourselves up just yet. My skin now acknowledging the cold air around us. The thin sheen of sweat cooling me. Nothing was said for a while as he held me close until he broke the silence to place a kiss to the top of my head then lifting my chin for my face to meet his. “I love you,” he said. My eyes getting blurry from the confession I never thought I would hear. But looking at him I knew it was true. His eyes shone with adoration. I smiled weakly before kissing him once. Looking back into his eyes and with no hesitation, I said out loud what id only heard myself mutter in my dreams. “I love you too."

[uglypastels]

Hii! I'm in love with your writing! I was hoping you could do one where reader is just naturally quiet but very observant and she avoids physsical contact because of her past and she notices things before anyone in the group like maybe she figured out Leo was a prince but didnt tell anyone because it's not her business to "out" him and Bea gets really mad at her and she gets in her personal space and Billy defends her because he's secretely in love with her and just angst and fluff??

I'll love you forever if you do this (its fine if you cant I'll still love you forever because i love your writing and I've never had the courage to write my own stuff so I admire you for that) ❤️✨

Oh my god anon, I love you!!! sorry, it took me a while to answer!! and seriously, writing has nothing to do with courage. I say, just go for it!! You clearly got the creativity to think of some great ideas!! (exhibit A right above my answer <3!!) even if you decide not to post it, I highly recommend that you write if you want to! Just go for it!! <3  also in this blurb, I'm putting Bea in a bit of a bad light and just want to say, that I love bea and this is not usually how i would like to portray her. i love our queen bea. but ya know, it’s an emotional time for, she’s going through a lot. again sorry. 

Spoilers for the Irregulars!!

____________________________

You jumped up from your bed when you saw the rest of the group barge through the door of the cellar. Their expressions were hard to read, but none of them looked happy. 

“Hey guys,” you said as you joined them on the main floor, “w-where’s Leo?” 

“He’s gone.” Bea snapped, clearly angry at something. “And he’s not coming back.” 

“What? What happened?” You looked around but didn’t get much of an answer from anyone’s faces. Spike and Jessie just shrugged while Billy barely even looked at anyone. The anger in him was evident. Something bad must have happened. 

“Is Leo okay?” You were starting to get worried. What if he had gotten hurt? 

“It doesn't matter, y/n!” Bea burst out, “Leo was a... a liar and betrayed all of us and now he left and I hope to god he never shows his face again or- or...”��

You were only getting more and more confused by the second. With a look, you made another attempt at getting a bit of a more clear answer. Finally, Spike spoke up. 

“He lied. He doesn't have an uncle at King’s Cross- he’s... rich. Like, royally rich.” 

“Oh,” maybe you should have sounded more surprised, but you weren’t. You had kind of come to that conclusion on your own quite early on. His clothes, the way he spoke, his curfew and the fact that he knew so much about everything... Not that you had ever told anyone, not even Leo. Whatever the reason, it was his own reason and his business why he was doing what he did. Not yours. So you let it be. If he wanted to tell, you were sure he would do it, and if not... well. 

“Oh,” you repeated yourself, not sure what else to say. Bea clearly understood. 

“Did- did you know?” She glared at you. It must have been the anger that she was already feeling toward the prince, but now that he was not with you anymore, she had to focus those emotions on something else. Find a new target... which was apparently you. 

“No, I didn’t. It was just a hunch, I suppose. I mean, I’m sure we were all thinking about it at one point. With the way he dressed and stuff-” 

“You knew! And you didn’t tell us?!” Bea stepped up front, and from the corner of your eye could see everyone getting a bit stiff in the back. Especially Billy-

“Bea-” he tried to calm her down, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. 

“You fucking knew! I can’t believe it.” 

“Bea, I swear, I didn’t- I just-” She was getting closer to you, and the more she did, you further back you tried to step, feeling that beating feeling in your throat. 

“Oh right,  you just thought. Well, you could have still told me what you thought, y/n! Instead of just sitting there in the corner like a freak!”  

“Bea, enough!” Billy shouted, only making you flinch more. Why did everyone always have to yell when they were mad? Why?  

“It wasn’t my business-” you whimpered out. You could tell that she was about to say something, pure fury filling her eyes, but before she could, Billy stepped in front of you. 

“Bea, for the love of god, let her fucking be. It’s not her fault.” Billy looked Bea in the eyes and for a long moment, no one said anything. Spike and Jessie were frozen, not sure what to do, and you understood that. If it were the other way around, you would have no idea how to respond. It was horrible. 

Then, slowly, Bea blinked and looked at you. The anger subsiding, but it was still there. She opened her mouth, it trembled just the slightest bit, before she said anything: “I have to go.” and she ran off outside, followed by her sister. 

“Are you okay?” Billy turned to you, looking worried. You nodded your head, then saw he was reaching out his hand and stepped aside. 

“Sorry, just your cheeks- may I?” hesitantly, you stepped forward and let him brush off the few rogue tears that had fallen down your cheeks. 

“Thanks,” you said, looking at the ground.

“Of course,” he smiled in his awkward nature, “and don’t mind Bea, she’s really upset- not that that really justifies it, but... ya know.” 

“Yeah, I do. I do. I’m just thinking, maybe I should have told you guys what I was thinking- but I couldn't have known for sure and I didn’t want to upset Leo and oh god,” you burst into tears and leapt into an embrace, almost making Billy fall back. After regaining his balance, he held you, tightly, and for the first time, you actually felt safe being so close to someone.