#feel like it would REALLY improve your mental health and overall demeanor

[shelfperson]

armand bbygirl you are so “when you were young” by the killers coded and it makes me sick.

[elizabethplaid]

Dr. Pierce’s Book of Fortune, 1937   --- Libra horoscope

@vintage-tech asked for my analysis of this Libra horoscope thing. My insights are based on opinion and balancing out what I’ve read from different quacks and my own experiences. Your mileage may vary, don’t void your bladder where prohibited, etc.

Lots of blather and a transcription of the images’ text at the end. Forgive me on the formatting, both in transcript and this whole mess of a post. I have too many thoughts and not enough organization

This sounds somewhat typical of different Libra interpretations I’ve seen.

“medium size, well-muscled, and graceful”

good health “but not very robust”

“kidney ailments”

(3/5) Medium height (not width), have been called graceful in the far-past. Partial credit there. Decent health, sure. Kidney ailments, yesssss. And that’s a thing I’ve heard before.

See, there’s an “alignment” of different body parts to different signs. “Sexual Astrology” by Joanna Martine Woolfolk (1979) notes these regions as erogenous zones. From what I’ve discussed with folks, the template fits. I’ve also seen it applied as “health troubles”, though I’m less certain about that correlation. (Don’t harp on me about a source on that image. I don’t have the patience to track it down right now, and it’d probably take foreeeever.)

In my experience, the kidney and/or bladder problems has been a thing. But I’ll also posit that I’ve had a lot of lower back muscle pain, as well, in the past.

“work carefully”, “conserve energy”

plan ahead

like to lead, and others will join

(3/5) Yes and no to all of that. Experience and mental health has shaken some habits and cemented others. I don’t make strict plans, but going without a plan is scary. Sometimes planning and such is a way to avoid a situation, too.

I don’t mind “leading” a small group of friends, but I know the perils of group projects. I might’ve been more inclined to these things when I was younger, before dealing with high school etc. It’s the “people pleaser” side of me, because I don’t want to be rejected.

logical mind

foresight, intuition

“persuasion, rather than by force”

“broad-minded and tolerant” in social situations

(4/5) Anxiety has ruined my logic, but I do go through many steps of (sometimes irrational) thought as I think my thunks. Foresight and intuition can also mean being observant and figuring out that step-A leads to step-B. That said, the few really strong gut feelings I’ve gotten haven’t been wrong. Especially when I’ve ignored them. *eye roll at self*

Definitely have been “broad-minded and tolerant”, even before being exposed to bullies. Still trying to do better, and I know I’ve improved over the years. Again, it can stem from wanting acceptance from others.

“good writer or speaker”

“warm-hearted and kind”

“sensitive to what others think of you”

“will make and keep many friends”

(3/4) All of these are very accurate, except for the keeping friends part. It could be my own mental health (eg social anxiety), moving around over the years, and/or realizing some people aren’t as appealing as they used to be - even if the relationship was good.

When I see the other person is no longer putting in the same amount of effort, I withdraw. But, in the past, I’ve put in more effort than I should have. So that was kinda doomed. Again, “people pleaser”.

“get on well in married life”

easily see multiple sides to a situation

“like and understand children”

(2/3) I’ve had a relatively easy time in relationships, but they’ve also been few and far between. Communication and understanding what I/we want have been my/our hurdles. There’s an autism-spectrum element that sometimes makes understanding other people tough, but I have been able to see different sides to things. The less a situation personally impacts me, the more sides I can see.

The children thing is less a nurturing side and more “these people are friendly”. Some of it’s autism-related, some is empathy regarding how helpless kids can feel/be. I never related well to my same-age peers, and adults loved my “old soul”. But I also know I would not feel comfortable having a young child rely on me.

“born diplomat”, ass-kissing while at least partly sincere

“fond of society”

“popular with the opposite sex”

“good wives and mothers”

bad at business

(4/6) I like to socialize, though it can be very draining, and shallow relationships are not fulfilling. Libras “are known to flirt” and be sensual or romantic, according to other sources. I think it’s a desire to feel wanted - especially as tied with the stereotype of libras liking “luxury” or “fine arts” etc. “I don’t need this person in my life to survive, but they are a delight to be around.” (Broken record: “people pleaser” again.) I do love to flirt, even pretend-flirting, where we both know nothing more will happen. It’s a safe-ish form of adrenaline rush.

The “good wives and mothers” thing feels double-edged. (This counts as 2 points.) Like, I can’t function as a wife or mother in ways that keep the day running, that keep life flowing. I have the emotional capacity, though. I’ve fondly imagined myself as being the “confidant aunt” to people, regardless of actual family connection. (I am not close to my nieces/nephews, but that’s not also a literal physical distance thing.)

Bad at business? I would cite that they mean the “more likely to buy impractical luxuries that spark joy, rather than buy a sturdy and practical necessity” stereotype. I’m bad at business for DIFFERENT reasons, sir.

-----------

Overall: 19/28 - Decent analysis, not as “accurate” as more recent publications. “First and last paragraphs” are only partial “bunk”.

I’ve got my own baggage that hinders this analysis. Can’t quite separate symptoms from traits, especially as my demeanor changes over the decades. Some of this also took “reading between the lines” to gather what they meant, to connect to stereotypes said in later analyses. 

This vintage libra analysis seems mostly like other examples I’ve read. The notes of being a good mother (not father?) feel out-of-place. Just that I haven’t seen them in other analyses. Plaid-dad is also a libra, and he has always been doting and supportive. He also gets along with kids so well, and I’ve observed that all my life.

One of my libra friends, Jodee, used to work with kids. She’s was like a big sis to me right from the start of our friendship, and she’s like that with her other friends. I’ve seen libras have big hearts, sometimes not knowing how to channel all the love they want to give to others. (Different forms of love, I mean, too.)

Logical and business-related notes are also unfamiliar. The stereotype is often that libra is more dreamy and romantic, at the expense of practicality and reality. “Champagne and caviar dreams”, as the saying goes. Indecisiveness is another big stereotype. Seeing the different sides and options can be a drawback.

The article is 80+ years old, so it makes sense that some of the stereotypes have changed. Perhaps later economic booms brought some of them to the front? Societal priorities also changed, along with expectations and roles that we might acknowledge, even if we don’t embrace them.

----------------

[Transcription start]

Libra - September 24 to October 23

The compensated sign of Libra, the Balance, controls your fate. If you are typical of the Libra people, you will be of medium size, well-muscled and graceful. Your health is good but not robust. You are likely to suffer from kidney ailments, if care is not exercised.

You work carefully, conserving your energy. You must plan each step before you take it. You like to lead in any enterprise, and can make others join you.

Your mind works logically and accurately. You have foresight and some intuition. You get what you want by persuasion, rather than by force. You are broad-minded and tolerant of social and religious matters.

You are a good writer or speaker. You are warm-hearted and kind. You are sensitive to what others think of you. You will make and keep many friends.

You will get on well in married life, because you can see the other side to every question. You like and understand children perhaps better than the people of any other sign.

The men of Libra are born diplomats. Many of them become statesmen, politicians, salesmen, and managers of big enterprises. The women are fond of society and usually popular with the opposite sex. They are good wives and mothers, but rarely succeed in the business world.

[Transcription end]

[saucysamu]

Hi, I guess this is an emergency request. It’s totally fine if you can’t do it, I know these things can be a bit dark. So I relapsed into self harm again. After quite a long time actually. And it’s just very demoralizing, knowing that I’m back at the start and that just makes it that much harder to stay clean. Because I feel like a failure. I had an ex that was a jerk about it, so that just terrifies me to open up about it. So I can get really defensive, but I try not to be. It’s just a difficult thing for me to process, and I try my best to be mentally healthy, but sometimes that’s not exactly possible. Right now I’m just kind of emotionally done. So I guess maybe how Suna, Kita, Atsumu and maybe Bokuto would react with that. Idk what’s the limit of characters. If there’s a limit, just take out characters. I know it’s possible for me to be happy, it’s just getting there lol. I love flowers and watching bumble bees buzzing around. Wasps can F off tho 💀. Just gotta find things like that you know. Anyways, I hope you are doing well! And remember to prioritize your mental health always 💖✨. It’s really kind what you’re doing, but make sure not to get overwhelmed!!

Suna and Kita reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh

Warning: s*lfharm

part 2: Bokuto and Atsumu reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh : coming soon

Suna

Ngl it took him off guard but at the same time it didn’t ?

you never told him out of embarrassment, fearing rejection if you did tell him

after dating for a while you were doing alright so you didn’t feel the need to tell him I mean, that was in the past…right?

don’t think he never noticed your scars, even if they faded in color, he isn’t dumb 

he never brought it up in a conversation though — for one because he didn’t know how,  and secondly he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you wanted to talk about it you just would have done so, at least he thinks that.

so when he discovers fresh scars he just freezes

he feels kinda nauseous not knowing what to do tbh

you’re his only breaking point - his sarcastic, cold demeanor only lasting until something happens to you. 

you can’t think of a single time you ever saw him so vulnerable - just like he never saw you like that

it was probably in a casual moment when he noticed - like you grabbing something from the top shelf and your sleeve rolling down

both of your hearts drop, making you put your sleeve into position again, avoiding his gaze. After it took him some seconds to find his composure again he slowly makes his way to you and gently grabs one side of your cheek to press the side of your face against his chest. He repeatedly kisses the top of your head gently while his beating heart eases the lump in your throat. With his other hand he reaches out for your fingers to intertwine them lazily, rubbing the palm with his thumb.

he keeps quiet, being scared of saying anything to upset you. He doesn’t need to though, you just feel that you’re safe with him.

you both are each others home, you know that and he knows too. No matter how stone cold he seems to others, you know he’s in fact the opposite

you sigh shakingly, muttering an apology since guilt overpowers you now

he clicks his tongue and shakes his head while pulling you closer 

  I’m sorry I didn’t notice.. I should have paid more attention.

Suna was never the type to understand why someone would hurt themselves. It didn’t solve the problem, it made him frown. He never left disgusting remarks though - he just didn’t get it, or he didn’t care enough. And no one around him has ever done that so why should he care? But people have their reasons right? Well if it wasn’t for you he still wouldn’t know what it meant to doubt yourself but having no strength to do anything about it. What it meant to never feel good enough. What it meant to lose desire and joy in everything. Thanks to you he developed some kind of empathy, flipping a switch in his mind. He’s become more patient and understanding, making you unable to comprehend how his piercing eyes can look so gentle when you meet his gaze. Before him, all you’ve known was people blaming you for how you felt — and how you coped. But he’s never blamed you once. And why would he? He’d gain nothing from making you feel worse, he’s aware of this much. He isn’t obvious about it, never even talked to his friends about it to protect you, but also to protect himself. He’d honestly rather avoid things that make him seem weak and vulnerable. Suna’s just not someone who likes to admit weakness. If the others knew how soft he could be for his significant other, they would never, and I mean NEVER, let him live down on that. Too bad you got him wrapped around your finger - in every way possible. Cause despite not knowing how to deal with..specific situations, he just pulls you into a hug. For as long as it needs to last, neither of you care how long you keep hugging in the middle of a room. Or a hallway. Or a mall. He couldn’t care less the only thing that matters is to make you feel loved, valid. That’s his way of being there for you. Cradling in his scent and warmth, with lidded eyes you feel at home.

Kita 

he knows about your past, like who are we kidding he knows everything lmao

of course he knows, he’d want to know every little thing about you only if you’re comfortable tho like he wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to

idk I just think his trust would crack if you lied to him or hid something from him.

He’d rather have you tell him you don’t want to talk about it than just blatantly lie to him

talking it out,, a lot of talking

but it’s okay because it never felt like Kita would judge you in any way

he’s so attentive when he listens to you, he never misses ANYTHING and also remembers the smallest details about you

you can be sure that he’s the best support system, he’s patient, gentle and just overall willing to help, giving alternatives etc.

so damn proud of you for fighting

it’s been a while since you’ve done anything to yourself so when you relapse you don’t know how to face him without feeling guilty,,

you don’t even need to say it out loud, your behavior gives away what’s happened 

he sighs and frowns apologetically, reaching out for your hands

his thumbs stroking softly over your fingers

“May I..?“ He glances to where you hurt yourself. Insecure about your prior action you bite the inside of your cheek. “It’s not that bad anyway..“ You try to talk your way out of it and notice the way his eyebrow twitches in displeasure at your choice of words. “Sorry..“ You say awkwardly as you give in to his touch. Kita brushes up the fabric covering your wounds to take a closer look. You watch his every move as he closes his eyes for a moment, sighing. “Come with me.“ he nods in the direction of your bathroom, making you sit down on the toilet as you get there. Never on earth would you have ever thought you’d witness someone taking care of you so deliberately. Why were you that scared again? You sigh out in relief, earning a confused look of your boyfriend. It wouldn’t stop him though, the only thing he’d do would probably be pulling a grimace whenever you inhaled sharply at the stinging disinfectant. He’s still kneeling in front of you, doesn’t even hesitate to look at you directly before he gets up to cup your face, placing a light kiss on your lips. Picking you up, he carries you to the living room, letting you down on the sofa. “Wait here“ - he left the room as soon as the words left his mouth, only for him to come back with some plushies, blankets and pillows. Bet you’re gonna spend the rest of the day on the sofa, not that you’d complain. However, you end up cuddled up with dozens of plushies around you, the side of your head resting on Kitas chest. You talk and you talk and you talk, until there’s nothing left to say. Don’t think he didn’t notice the way you’re dragging yourself down because of that. He furrows his brows and after some silence he lightly pushes your chin up to make you look at him. “You know I’m not mad at you right?“ You feel your eyes burn at the sincerity of his words. He breathes out a laugh and places kisses all over your face. “You know that relapsing is part of healing and improving right?“ He kisses you all over again. “And you know that healing isn’t a straight-lined process right?“ Man you can barely bite back your tears anymore. If some out stander would have watched the whole scene, they probably would have been shocked at the way Kita started chuckling wholeheartedly. He almost felt sorry - but he wasn’t laughing at you - he just couldn’t help it, you looked too adorable. ”You’ll be just fine, I know you will and I’ll be the one to watch you bloom.“

Hey anon!

I’m sorry it’s taking me way too long to respond but I’m grateful you’re understanding so thank you for your patience.🥺

Don’t be confused as to why I only wrote for Suna and Kita for now, I’ll plan on doing another part for Bokuto and Atsumu! I hope reading that lifted your mood and that you’re doing better now.🥺 take care and stay strong 💖

[recentanimenews]

Crunchyroll All-Stars: Larry Ogunjobi on Going to Conventions from Anime Expo to Japan

  Anime fans come from all walks of life and in all shapes and sizes. Some are students, some are scientists, some are doctors, some are artists, and some are even well-known athletes! Crunchyroll All-Stars is a series of interviews highlighting elite professionals who harbor a passion both for their art and for anime. 

  Today’s profile is on Larry Ogunjobi, a defensive tackle for the Cincinnati Bengals. Growing up during the Toonami era, Ogunjobi would go on to take his passion for anime all the way from Anime Expo in Los Angeles to even conventions in Japan. We spoke with Ogunjobi about how Naruto’s lessons have helped him his entire life, why so many athletes relate to anime characters, and more!

    When did you become an anime fan?  Was there a specific moment that affected you or changed the way you felt about something?

  It started when I was younger when I was in 5th grade or so in elementary school. I used to always play video games and the first game I ever got was Zelda. After gaming a little bit I’d go to school and talk about the games.  Then I remember on Cartoon Network there was Toonami at 9 pm, and then on Saturdays, you’d get all the good anime — Dragon Ball Z, Trigun, Wolf’s Rain, Case Closed, Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho — those were my introductions to anime. I always enjoyed it.


  Then came Naruto...I feel like I grew up with Naruto! Watching him as a kid and growing up to get married in the last episode of the last season of Shippuden.


  I also remember getting a Dragon Ball Z  video game for Playstation. I saved up to buy a PS2 and got really into that game.


  Anime always told a story. You got your main character and sometimes he’s maybe a knucklehead kid or has some problems. There’s always that origin story that grabs you and you figure out more of what the show’s going to be about. For me, it was always about the character development -- you have a character and things don’t go their way...do they quit or do they push through it? I always took those kinds of life lessons and nuggets that anime have in them, and my appreciation just grew and grew into a real love for anime. Now it’s just a part of what I do.


    Are there any ways you engage with your favorite anime series or characters aside from watching them?

  I ended up visiting Japan.  It was really cool going to see a convention out there. The excitement the people there had for anime was amazing. It was like their Super Bowl! 


  When I was young, people would knock anime sometimes so it was awesome to see people enjoying themselves, being happy, getting all dressed up. I remember seeing this reenactment of the Naruto fight with Pain.  These were just people walking by each other and they really did it!  It was just very cool to experience.


  Have you ever bonded with someone else over anime?

  One of my mentors in the NFL is Geno Atkins (Defensive Tackle on the Bengals), and I was with him in LA and there was an Anime Expo out there at that time. So I was talking to Geno about anime and he started rattling off a list and I could tell he was for real so I told him about the Anime Expo and we decided to head over to the convention.


  Overall, I’m slowly starting to see more people, more pro athletes show their fandom. We’re able to put ourselves in the same shoes as some of these characters. There have been times in a game where I have put myself in the mindset of a main character from one of my favorite anime. When you find someone who watches anime too, who does that same kind of thing, who’s balling, it creates that bond.


    What’s your favorite anime series of all time?

  Naruto.  I know it’s a mainstream anime and an introductory anime for a lot of people but I REALLY watched it, with subtitles, and I’d wait week after week to watch it. From elementary school into middle school and then going all the way through it to college till it finished. And I felt like “Damn, this is really over?...” I had really invested in it and it really followed the development of my life. I was an overweight kid (obese), a troubled kid. I really started football because my mom took away my Xbox, and then after that, I went through my first real season of football. I remember we had an awards banquet after that year, and when the award for most improved JV player came up, they called my name. I thought my best friend at the time was going to get it but I got it...and it really got me feeling like I earned it and my hard work paid off.


  I was biking and running at the YMCA every day and went from 350 lbs. To 247 lbs., bulked back up to 267 lbs., and ended up getting five scholarship offers. Ended up going to Charlotte for college.  Now I’m in college and with Naruto, the anime is going on throughout all of this for me (probably like the Pain arc or somewhere around that).  It felt like we were going through our trials and tribulations together; it was actually really cool.  Now I’m working hard, I’m grinding in college, and the only thing I could compare my process to was these storylines in anime — I knew I was special and that I was the main character of my story — and I ended up being the first player ever drafted to the NFL out of my college.


  Then as I'm finishing college, Naruto finished...it was just so cool and such a special experience.  I have a lot of favorites but that has to be #1.


  Who’s your favorite anime character of all time?

  Have to stick with Naruto for all the reasons mentioned above. He’s so relatable to me. He was different from everybody. I remember my grandpa telling me I was special and that I was different.  At the time, I was an obese kid...I didn’t know what he was talking about.  But I just knew that me being different and working hard would pay off.  God always finds a way to make things work out for you.  Are there going to be trials? Yes. Are there going to be tragedies? Yes. But the triumphs are going to outweigh everything.


    Who would you rank as the top anime hero ever?

  One of the best characters I’ve seen develop into a hero is Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul.  I’m big on mental health, and you see all the phases he went through. He has to deal with that headache of being on two different sides of the world. He was a human just a little while ago, and now he has to survive on eating flesh...it was a crazy segue.  Being a ghoul, soft-spoken...he really develops into this boss!


  There’s so many anime though: Naruto, Goku...his demeanor is fire.  He always wants to get better.  He’s very relatable. Whenever there’s a super-strong opponent, Goku’s always ready to try them out and give it a go. Even if the person he fights is stronger than him before the fight, Goku evolves during the fight to become better than his opponent. Facing and going through obstacles you become better on the other side. Like the Goku who fought Nappa and Raditz isn’t the same Goku who fought Jiren. He always elevated his game to meet who he was fighting.


  Who would you rank as the top anime villain ever?

  Dio from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.  MAN!..I’ve never seen a villain so dedicated to messing with a family! He REALLY had it out for the Joestars. It was a generational show: you had the first Joseph and Jotaro, and Dio still found a way to be that ultra villain who stays in the mix. There’s not a lot of villains who have been able to stay so relevant. Dio was kicking ass for a minute before he got beat up. I enjoyed him as a villain for sure.


    Have you ever taken any elements or learnings from anime and implemented them into your daily life?

  Yes, with Naruto his motto was never going back on his word and never giving up. In life, you’re always going to go through ups and downs but Naruto always found a way. He also had a great support system, which is really important. You need to have the right people around you. And with rivalries, I’d apply the ways Naruto and Sasuke or Goku and Vegeta approached rivalries. Having someone next to you that you look to as a brother, but who pushes you to new heights and great places.


  It feels like more and more athletes are showcasing their love for anime — what’s anime fandom like in NFL culture? And what do you think it is about anime that attracts athletes?

  Anime is definitely becoming more and more prevalent. A lot of guys will gravitate towards each other with gaming and things like Call of Duty and Fortnite. I’m a D-Lineman and I feel like there’s so many D-Linemen around the league who are fans of anime. You see anime characters go through intense training and we do everything we can to be great at what we do, to improve our technique, and it’s very relatable for guys.


  It also helps us decompress. We have a hard job. We’re in the offseason right now. You get up, you grind, and you work. Sometimes it's just fun to watch someone else's story.


  Like I said, I’ve always felt like I’m the main character of my story, and when you believe that you start to move in a different way and start to workout that way. The concept is so relatable to real life. And in general, guys just like it too.


  Social media has also made anime way more known. Before people didn’t talk about it much and now guys in the league are posting about it and you learn all these guys like it. Then you start talking about anime with them, now we’re sending each other anime to watch, like “Yo this one is about to come on, you got to check it out”. A whole bunch of guys on my team like it, and you start giving people anime to watch and they come back to you like, “This is fire!”


  Also, I’m big into anime but I didn’t realize how big anime was till I saw my baby sister and how into it she is. She draws the characters. Man, she’s caught up on One Piece!

    What would your message be to someone who recently discovered anime and was thinking about getting into it?

  My message would be to figure out what you personally like. Anime has a little of everything: sci-fi, action, sports anime.  Find one that’s similar to something you already enjoy watching and then go from there.


  If you’re new I’d also watch an anime that doesn’t have a whole bunch of episodes in each season so you can fully get into it, like a Mob Psycho 100 or Attack on Titan.


  I remember watching the first half of the first episode of Attack on Titan and I wasn’t feeling it right away, and I remember being in college and working out and visiting the Student Union and I remember falling asleep after working out, and right next to me was where people were hanging out and watching anime. Then I woke up to hearing people cheering. I had seen some of the first episode but they were watching the 2nd episode and Eren had just gotten eaten by the Titan, and I was talking junk like, “How can the main character get killed like that?!”...Then the next scene he turned into a Titan and I was like, “Oh man this is HARD!”


  You have to give each anime a chance.  Most anime develop really well throughout.  I remember with God of High School I started it and was like “ehh, it’s alright”, but I ended up watching the rest of the season and was like “Wow, this is really nicely done!”


  Also, be open to watching subbed and dubbed anime. Give yourself an opportunity to like it.

By: Guest Author

[tinkeringwithcannabis]

Tinkering with Cannabis: The First 90 Minutes Episode 63

Product: Jillybean Wax

THC:

Manufacturer:

Dispensary: Sira Naturals

Locations: Somerville, Ma

Cannabis Connoisseur: Kara

Website: www.siranaturals.org

 

Hello again to all my cannabis loving and canna-curious friends, and welcome back to another episode of The First 90 Minutes! Today we will be talking and toking about an awesome wax, which I picked up from Sira Naturals, Jillybean! Shout-out to my friend Kara over at Sira Naturals in Somerville, Ma! Now, this herbal, peppery, piney strain with terpene profiles rich in myrcene, caryophyllene, and pinene, has been said to help patients battling stress, depression, anxiety, pain, and fatigue. This is no surprise when taking into effect the calming and pain-relieving benefits provided by myrcene, the mood enhancing, anxiety-relieving, and anti-inflammatory benefits of caryophyllene and pinene. Pinene also is a bronchodilator, which allows your airways to open and your oxygen levels to increase, therefore increasing your energy and focus. These top three terpenes are highly responsible for the happy, uplifted, euphoric, energetic, and creative experience patients have reported when medicating with Jillybean. Last, as we prepare to kick off our testing segment, we must identify the potential negatives, which are dry mouth, dry eyes, dizziness, paranoia, and anxiety. Now that we have run through a bit about our product, let’s jump ahead and prepare to test our wax. So, without further ado, let’s light up, sit back, and relax as we talk and toke about the First 90 Minutes!

Today I will be using Jillybean to combat a very low and agitated mood, anxiety, stress, and fatigue. Starting this medication session off at 9:15 a.m. with two hits from my G3 Pen on medium heat. The flavor is peppery and piney with herbal tones, and the peppery scent is the primary scent I noticed, followed by a strong herbal aroma. By 9:18 a.m. I can feel a sense of relaxation beginning to calm my body a bit. The tension that was in my body has begun to ease slightly, and I am noticing this the most in my shoulders and neck. At 9:20 a.m., I am noticing that my level of agitation is starting to decrease, but the low mood has not changed yet. The fatigue is starting to fade, and I am finding that I am beginning to find myself feeling more awake and alert. I can feel a slight burst of energy beginning to run through my body, perking me up as I try to get my day started. My body continues to be relaxed and calm, and I am feeling the stress continue to melt away from my body as we speak. As far as focus is concerned, I do feel a little bit of a dreamy sensation running through my head, yet my focus is still really good.

At 9:50 a.m., I am finding that my energy and focus are on point right now. I do not feel like my mind is limited or slowed in any way, and my thought process seems a lot more organized. The anxiety has ceased, as has the agitation. The low mood has begun to increase, and although I am still feeling a little low, I have moved from low and unmotivated to slightly depressed, which is an improvement. This is also making it easier to get up and start working on the things that I need to get done today. My body does feel as though the tension has been released from it, however I am feeling more of a cerebral relaxation with a physical and mental energy boost. The tension in my shoulders and neck, where I carry my physical stress the most, seem to have been targeted. However, this is not to say that I do not feel some form of slight physical relaxation thus far throughout my body, it is just not as intense as other pain-relieving strains I have tried.

At 10:15 a.m., I am noticing that my mental state is continuing to remain very awake and focused, and there is a fueling of a creative mindset behind this boost, which is proving very effective in my artwork right now. My bodily relaxation has gone unchanged from the last check-in. Although I do feel relaxed to a point, and I do feel like I am a lot less stressed and anxious, I do feel as though the bodily effects are nowhere near as significant as the cerebral effects are. Mentally, despite still feeling a slight bit of mental stress, I would have to say that my anxiety and depression have completely subsided. Although I am not really reaching a euphoric state, I am finding that there is a significant shift in my overall demeanor compared to how I felt earlier. This is even more of a relief when the symptom improvements intensify without bringing on any negatives. Rounding the corner to our 90-minute mark at 10:45 a.m., the effects continue to run strong without any real changes from the previous check-in at this point. I am noticing that my mood has increased a little more in the last half hour, which is rare for me to see any increase in the effects this late in the game. My focus and energy levels are still running strong, and the creative boost is still very present. These benefits are really helping me to keep myself motivated, with attention hyper-focused on completing some of my art projects. Physically, the relaxation continues to primarily sit in my shoulders and neck, but the energy boost effects my body as well as my mind. There have been no negatives to report with this test.  

As we dive into our final thoughts, I want to start with the longevity of this strain. The effects finally wore off at ______ leaving me feeling ____. Personally, I loved the effects of Jillybean. The cerebral boost addressed my fatigue, stress, anxiety, agitation, and low mood, bringing them to a manageable point, if not stopping them all together. Physically, I loved the energy boost that was accompanied by the relaxation in all the tension areas of my body. I found that this really boosted my ability to get myself motivated and get working on the artistic projects that I had been trying to finish. I do think that this strain is great for those battling mental health issues and fatigue. Unfortunately, I do not know how effective this strain would be for pain, as I did not feel a strong bodily effect compared to many of the other strains that are utilized for pain management. Based on longevity, effects, and the lack of any negatives, I must give this strain 4.7 stars. Sira, this is another fantastic product for the books. Keep up the great work!

 

If you are a patient, or adult above the age of 21 in Massachusetts, check out the following link for where you can purchase this product:

https://www.siranaturals.org/where-to-buy-cannabis-massachusetts

Well my friends, we have reached the end of this review. Thank you for joining me and stay tuned for more product reviews!

Disclaimer:

*****Please remember, this blog is an account of my personal experience with this product. Not everyone has the same experience with every product and that is okay. I always recommend starting out with one or two hits to see if that is enough , and you can always increase your dose from there.*****

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My journey of self reflective analysis

Through the process of this production I have learned a lot about myself as a practitioner of musical theatre, my personal growth and my employability as a business.

In the initial stages of the production I struggled massively with understanding the weaknesses/areas that need improvement when given to me by my tutor and other staff members at LMA. My most challening ‘to improve on’ in my feedback was the need to develop my artistry and performance. Looking back, I believe I hit a wall and found myself unable to get around this because I found this feedback profoundly upsetting as someone who takes pride in their abilities. This feedback was extremely difficult to accept and because I couldn’t accept it, I couldn’t better myself on it. The concept of lagging behind in my artistry made me stiff and tense which also made it tough to enjoy what I was doing in the studio.

Whilst coasting through the early numbers in the show and during my training, I continued to hold on to being frustrated and upset, until I hit such a hard low that I forced myself to just let go of the angst that was causing me so much anxiety and turmoil. This was the best thing that I could of possibly done. Once I let go of the negativity that was hindering my self improvement, I started to really enjoy myself whilst performing. As I began to enjoy myself and indulge in my individual performance within the ensemble, I could feel myself giving so much more with my body and my face. This made it obvious to me how much more I could of been giving in my performances perviously, and what had previously felt like 100% was about 60%.

I felt like I burst open out of my shell as a performer and got hungry for more feedback and insight on how I was progressing rather than totally shutting down at the idea of it. From this point on I accepted and understood my feedback and made a goal within myself to make my artistry and performance my strength.

I really enjoyed the process of playing with my character and performance during ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Big fun’ especially. I was excited to throw myself around and go crazy with my gestures and facial expressions. I could feel what a huge corner I turned as previously moments of freestyle or times that called for strong facial expressions terrified me. It felt like such a huge moment of growth for me to find so much enjoyment and readiness for something that I for so long feared and hid from.

I gained a new sense of energy and began to get really competetive when small roles were being given out. Previously, I would of sat quietly whilst they were being handed out but I shot my hand up immediately every time and fought for every opportunity possible. This change in my energy and demeanor really paid off, as I finally became successful in an audition for a role (Ram’s mom). In my audition I portrayed a larger than life, bolshy character and I did so totally unapoligetically. 

My confidence began to really grow along the process of Heathers and this confidence allowed me to develop and harness my leadership skills. During external rehearsals with my peers, due to the fact that I am experienced in dance technique and rhythm, I would call out the counts in the choreography. I contributed to the production by taking a role of leadership in dance and helping the cast to execute difficult moments within the choreography rhythm, timing and technique wise, which overall helped to make moments in unison look clean as they were intended by the director. My peers recognised me as a leader in dance that they could come to and smooth out anything they struggled with in the choreography, I enjoyed having this higher sense of responsibility and it is a role that I would love to take on within a production in the industry.

The biggest lesson that I’ve learned throughout this process is that harbouring negative feelings and denying my weaknesses will only stop me from gaining success and reaching my full potential. A negative attitude will only ever provide me negative results.

I need to continue to work on keeping up the energy and new attitude I have adopted that has allowed me to thrive in my work and imrpove and not slip back into my old mindset that hindered me from meeting my potential as a musical theatre practitioner. Over the next 6 months I am going to continue to keep up my fitness levels by attending HIIT classes. I am also going to explore and develop new skills that will make me a more versatile performer to potential employers. One of these skills is Aerial silks, I believe that developing this skill will open up a door of opportunity for me as Aerial and other circus style skills are used in many events and venues around the world. I also want to attend more commercial classes as these classes often involve a lot of freestyle moments and this will force me to stay confident and continue to develop my artistry. Another way I will be working on and keeping up my self confidence is researching how I can better my mental health daily and also finding motivating articles online that help me to remember why self confidence is so important “When you’re confident you stop feeling self-conscious about your quirks.When you’re confident you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and stop second-guessing your decisions. When you’re confident you can face your big fears. Whether it’s something specific like becoming better at public speaking or simply going ALL IN and following your dreams.” (13 Tips for Being Confident, 2020) I believe by being vigilant in my self betterment and development as a performer I will be keeping up with professional standards.

The journey through Heathers has taken me from a dancer who:

- had a limited presence in the studio

- struggled to process critique in a positive way and improve

- Had a limited performance in the studio and on stage

- feared using theatrical facial expressions

- nerves were to great perform a song with ATS

- had a frustrated and exhausted persona

- had little drive 

To a Performer who:

- Enjoys and believes in their work and what they have to offer

- Has honed in on all 3 diciplines and created an employable skill set

- Has a fire in their belly to improve and gain feedback

- Is a leader

- Indulges in their performance and thrives in delivering ATS whilst singing

- Hungers for competition 

- Has confidence and will be able to hold their own in an audition setting

- Has become an employable buisness and is ready to fight and thrive in the industry

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Deservability

Author Louise Hay popularized the concept of “deservability,” describing it as the idea that if you believe at your innermost core you don’t deserve to have what you wish for, then you block it from manifesting. The flip side is that if you do believe at the deepest level that you deserve something, then you will do what it takes to make it happen, and it will manifest.

I’ve taken this concept and paired it with a quantifiable rating system to provide a quick and effective way for you to see the level of your deservability in any area of your life. Your “deserve level” is the conviction with which you say, “I deserve this!” in each of the 10 categories, which are intimately intertwined with your level of mental, physical, and nutritional health. Each plays a critical role in making the difference between a miserable or a magnificently balanced life. (I have a much more detailed version of this test in my book, Mind Your Body) Deeply believing that you deserve something is where true budge­proof motivation comes from. The aim of this Deserve Level Test is to shine light on areas where you excel, as well as on areas that need nurturing, attention, and development.

Rate your Deserve Level in each of the 10 categories using the following scale: 1 to 3: Extremely low deserve level 4 to 6: Low deserve level 7 to 8: moderate deserve level 9 to 10: High deserve level 1. Fitness. Having a strong deserve level in regard to fitness doesn’t necessarily mean that you always look forward to your workout. There may still be days when it’s hard to get started, but when you have a strong fitness deserve level, you deeply desire what exercise gives your body and brain. You move, and move often, because you clearly understand that exercising your body will ultimately make you feel better, mentally and physically. 2. Nutrition. Eating should promote health, but it should also be a pleasure as well as a mindful activity. Someone who scores a high deserve level for nutrition is sensitive to what hunger, satiety, and fullness feel like, and respects the body’s hunger signals. A high-deserve­level eater doesn’t let emotions dictate eating and, equally important, doesn’t let eating dictate their emotions. What you put into your body influences how you think and feel, and can certainly hamper or help your energy level and your desire to exercise. 3. Family and Friends. These are the people who offer you emotional support and comfort, warmth and nurturing, protection and security. Research shows that both family and friends can improve your health, reduce mood disorders such as depression and anxiety, and increase your life span. Supportive friends and families encourage your dreams, and you encourage theirs. Sometimes your family is incapable, and that is okay. You can find friends who become your family. 4. Nest. A high-deserve­level home feels like a sanctuary, a peaceful place you can retreat to, a relaxing environment in which to rejuvenate and recharge. Your bedroom should be restful, dark, and serene, a place where you can rest. A healthy neighborhood is one where you feel safe, where you’re comfortable taking strolls, where you know your neighbors at a friendly level. You’ll assess how refuge­like your habitat is, and you’ll become clear on whether you need to make improvements. 5. Spiritual Condition. The core of a high spiritual deserve level is the ability to believe in something larger than yourself—a higher power or higher perspective, a set of morals or beliefs that propels you toward being your best self. Some believe that their higher power is outside themselves, others feel it is inside, and still others believe it is both—there are no wrong answers here. Some people describe this as living on a higher path by honoring integrity, honesty, respect, love, tolerance, kindness, serenity, courage, and grace. For some, attending a spiritual group, church, or temple fits the bill, while others find spirituality by communing with nature or listening to music. 6. Work. How you spend your days, what your interactions with other people involve, and your level of stress and demands can all play a role in how you feel in your life. If you have a work deserve level of 10, then your place of business is a nurturing, invigorating, and inspiring environment where you look forward to spending your days, and you work with people you find enjoyable, stimulating, and helpful. If this isn’t the picture of your work life—if your work leaves you feeling exhausted, without enough time or energy left over to exercise or cook healthy meals, or if demands from an overbearing boss have you feeling stressed and defeated, then at some level you have accepted that this is all your work life has to offer. 7. Attitude. Your mindset is your mental perspective, the general flavor that makes up your viewpoint, but that still doesn’t encompass all that makes up your way of thinking. A high attitude deserve level is positive, proactive, and grateful. I’ve discovered a fantastic way to get a quick read on a person’s mental frequency: I ask, “What were the top five feelings you experienced most this past week?” I find this instantly produces an accurate picture of a person’s demeanor. 8. Finances. I would like to say that money is not important, but it does offer options. The more we have of it in this society, the more freedom we have to make choices. This can be a good or a bad thing. If you have an abundance of money that comes to you without a lot of stress or anxiety and meets your needs effectively, then you have a high deserve level in this area. This is a subjective measure. What matters here is having enough money for you. If you are constantly worried about paying your bills or accumulating debt, you may need to look closely at this deserve level. 9. Hobbies and Interests. When people spend time doing things that make them feel good, it activates areas of the brain that improve the way they feel about life in general and makes them feel happier. Having an enjoyable interest not related to work or responsibility enhances creativity, memory, and focus. Regularly making time for leisure activities can improve brain chemicals involved in memory, motivation, mood, and impulse control, such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. All this gives you more energy for exercise and eating right. Plus, a boost in serotonin has been shown to re-duce sugar or carb cravings. 10. Dreams. Having an abundance of hopes, goals, desires, and aspirations is a sign that you value yourself because it shows that you prioritize what you want for yourself. Having a bucket list of things you want to do before you leave this blue and green globe is a sign of great physical and mental health. I believe we are all unique, beautiful beings with a divine purpose. I find it troubling when I see talented people not nurturing or sharing their gifts with the world and those they love.

MAKING SENSE OF YOUR SCORE Now, before you go any further, I want you to knock down each deserve level rating by one point. Why would I be so cruel? I find that most people exaggerate scores. They tell me they drink tons of water, but when I examine them closely, I find they could actually drink a few more glasses. When they tell me they eat a healthy diet, they often leave out the Snickers bar they grabbed at the gas station on the way home. So, to get really real, subtract one point from each score. This is your true score for each category Your overall score: Take a look at your current overall adjusted deserve level scores. You want to have a 9 in each category, and ultimately a 10. If you are lower than that, and it’s rare that someone starts at the high end, it tells you that you have some work to do. I’m not trying to be a downer; raising awareness is the first step to successful change. Knowing is a good thing. Usually the pressures of life don’t allow time to step back and reflect. By looking at all these dimensions of your life at once, you can see if you are in balance or if some areas need more attention. Take a moment to reflect on how you feel about these scores and how you’d like them to change. Your bottom three scores: Do you see any extreme fluctuations in your scores? For example, if your work is a 9, but family and friends are a 2, it indicates that there is some balancing to be done. Write three simple actions you can do now, one for each category. These should be small actionable steps that you can take today to improve your numbers in these areas. You might say, “I will leave work at six p.m. today so I have time to exercise or spend time with the family.” When you choose to take control, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you see positive changes flow into your life. Your top three scores: Write three actions (one for each category) that you can take today to improve your numbers or attention in these areas. Your middle four scores: After you’ve reviewed your highest and lowest categories, you will be left with four categories. These are your middle scores. Write three actions (one for each category) that you can take today to improve your numbers or attention in these areas. FINAL STEP: POST YOUR INTENTIONS You now have 10 action steps for your 10 categories. Prioritize your actionable steps from easiest to hardest (this is subjective). Write a short version of these on a sticky note, and put them in a row on your desk. For example, if the first item in your list says, “Clean stacks of papers off my bedroom floor,” then your sticky note would say, “Clean stacks.” When you have all 10 sticky notes in a row on your desk, start doing your tasks. After you do the first one, throw away the sticky note, until all 10 notes are in the trash. Throwing away each note gives you a sense of accomplishment and helps you move forward feeling less weighed down, so by the time you have gotten to the hardest one, you have built up confidence and have a flow going. Don’t come back until all 10 are off your desk! And please comment below to let me know how what this exercise has done for you

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6 Hidden Benefits of Consulting in Retirement

Upon retiring, many people are often invited to continue working part time in a consulting role. Whether to accept is one of the biggest decisions they face in early retirement. While there are a couple of drawbacks to consider, there are also several upsides, some of which are not obvious, that might make this proposition worth considering.

SEE ALSO: How Do You Know When You’re Ready to Retire?

Let’s first point out the two main downsides:

1. Self-employment taxes

For some, the self-employment tax can come as a nasty surprise. As an employee, you pay a combined 7.65% Medicare and Social Security payroll tax on your first $127,200 of wages. When you are self-employed, however, you pay double that rate. In other words, you’ll pay 15.3% in payroll taxes, in addition to any applicable federal or state income taxes.

The one small silver lining is you can deduct half of your self-employment tax on your federal return. This appears as an above-the-line deduction, so it applies whether or not you itemize.

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2. Loss of freedom

The whole idea of retirement is to do what you want, when you want. Consulting ostensibly undermines this objective. People worry that it will impede their flexibility or travel plans, or even worse, that the very stress they’re trying to escape will only continue.

After considering the downsides of self-employment taxes and a loss of freedom, many people reflexively rule out any sort of continued employment whatsoever in retirement. Before you close that door, however, it must be emphasized that not all retirements are successful. Some people find their standard of living reduced, some never find the enjoyment they anticipated, and some are even forced back into the workforce.

Those who wish to minimize the likelihood of any of these outcomes would be wise to carefully consider all their options. There are several benefits to part-time work that might not only outweigh the downsides, but also significantly increase the odds of a successful and meaningful retirement:

1. Extra income

The single largest risk most retirees face is a market meltdown during the first few years of retirement, creating a hole from which they can’t recover. The income earned from consulting greatly reduces the stress on your portfolio by reducing your withdrawal rate during these critical years.

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2. Tax deductions

When you are self-employed, several everyday expenses become tax-deductible. For example, if you don’t have access to a group plan, your premiums for long-term care and health insurance (including all parts of Medicare) for you and your spouse become an above-the-line deduction.

In addition, several other necessities can become deductible, assuming they are bona fide business expenses. Examples include computers, phones, certain travel, etc. Even with the self-employment tax, many consultants find their tax situation to be improved in early retirement.

3. Social Security benefits

Continuing to work may increase your Social Security benefits, providing higher income for the rest of your life. Your benefits are based upon the average of your highest 35 years of inflation-adjusted earnings, so if you keep working, you could potentially replace some of your lower earlier years. In addition, the income from consulting makes it more palatable to defer Social Security benefits, which is a powerful way to reduce longevity risk. Keep in mind that this unique income source is guaranteed, has built-in tax advantages, and is adjusted annually for inflation. For someone born between 1943 – 1954, delaying the start of taking Social Security from age 62 to 70 increases the starting benefit by a whopping 76%.

See Also: Working Part-Time in Retirement Can Be Tricky

4. More interesting work

Many find the annoyances of work to be largely removed. Gone are the days of employee reviews, administrative work, mandatory HR trainings, etc. Most consultants also work primarily from home, eliminating the drain of commuting. With the nuisances stripped away, you’re left to focus on the most interesting part of the job itself.

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5. Benefits of work

Do you remember how, at one point, you couldn’t wait to be done being a student, only to find out after a couple years of working how good you really had it?

Work is no different. People generally don’t realize the immense benefits it provides until they’ve been out of the workforce for a couple years. For many professionals, their career is their primary source of purpose, community, personal growth, identity, etc. Retirement therefore creates a tremendous void that does not become apparent until the novelty of excess freedom wears off, particularly for those who do not proactively fill their days with equally stimulating alternatives.

6. Easier transition

Sometimes the transition into full retirement can be too abrupt. Many people discover that entire weeks or months with an empty calendar unfortunately tends to cause more problems than it solves. Downshifting instead to part-time work can provide just the right amount of relief for some, increasing their free time by an enjoyable and manageable amount.

Our experience

Although there are strong exceptions, in our practice we’ve observed a noticeable difference in the health and demeanor of those who work part-time in retirement versus those who don’t. Quite simply, those who do tend to be happier and healthier.

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Why is this? As one client put it, “Freedom is like chocolate cake. You love it, but too much can be bad for you.” In our surveys, those who earn income in some capacity report much higher rates of:

Feeling a sense of purpose

Mental acuity

Positive mental health

Energy levels

Volunteering or engaging in other interests

Overall good health

The trick, of course, is figuring out how to replace the benefits of work without re-inviting the stress. If you’re considering part-time work, establishing correct boundaries from Day One is critical. For example, you might limit yourself to a certain number of hours per week, a certain number of weeks per year, and delineate which tasks you’re unwilling to do. You might also consider taking extended time off before starting, giving you the opportunity to dive full-bore into your bucket list. Negotiating everything on your terms is easier said than done, but remember that it’s in everyone’s best interests for you to be satisfied with the new arrangement.

Conclusion

For both financial and non-financial reasons, continuing to work in early retirement can be very healthy. Consulting is one option, but not the only one. Starting your own business, earning a new degree, volunteering, etc. can all accomplish the same thing.

If you simply can’t imagine going back or are looking for additional opportunities outside your field, consider a resource like Encore.org, which has helped many of our clients find new purpose and meaning in their retirement.

See Also: Making $70,000 But Still ‘Poor’? You’re Not Alone

Yoder Wealth Management does not provide tax advice.

Michael Yoder, CFP®, CRPS® is Principal at Yoder Wealth Management, which provides holistic financial advice for retirees and those transitioning into retirement.

Securities and advisory services offered through Commonwealth Financial Network®, member www.finra.org / www.sipc.org, a Registered Investment Adviser. Yoder Wealth Management, 2033 N. Main St., Suite 1060, Walnut Creek, CA 94596. 925-691-5600. info@yoderwm.com.

Comments are suppressed in compliance with industry guidelines. Click here to learn more and read more articles from the author.

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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