#kagsemergency

[saucysamu]

Hi, I guess this is an emergency request. It’s totally fine if you can’t do it, I know these things can be a bit dark. So I relapsed into self harm again. After quite a long time actually. And it’s just very demoralizing, knowing that I’m back at the start and that just makes it that much harder to stay clean. Because I feel like a failure. I had an ex that was a jerk about it, so that just terrifies me to open up about it. So I can get really defensive, but I try not to be. It’s just a difficult thing for me to process, and I try my best to be mentally healthy, but sometimes that’s not exactly possible. Right now I’m just kind of emotionally done. So I guess maybe how Suna, Kita, Atsumu and maybe Bokuto would react with that. Idk what’s the limit of characters. If there’s a limit, just take out characters. I know it’s possible for me to be happy, it’s just getting there lol. I love flowers and watching bumble bees buzzing around. Wasps can F off tho 💀. Just gotta find things like that you know. Anyways, I hope you are doing well! And remember to prioritize your mental health always 💖✨. It’s really kind what you’re doing, but make sure not to get overwhelmed!!

Suna and Kita reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh

Warning: s*lfharm

part 2: Bokuto and Atsumu reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh : coming soon

Suna

Ngl it took him off guard but at the same time it didn’t ?

you never told him out of embarrassment, fearing rejection if you did tell him

after dating for a while you were doing alright so you didn’t feel the need to tell him I mean, that was in the past…right?

don’t think he never noticed your scars, even if they faded in color, he isn’t dumb 

he never brought it up in a conversation though — for one because he didn’t know how,  and secondly he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you wanted to talk about it you just would have done so, at least he thinks that.

so when he discovers fresh scars he just freezes

he feels kinda nauseous not knowing what to do tbh

you’re his only breaking point - his sarcastic, cold demeanor only lasting until something happens to you. 

you can’t think of a single time you ever saw him so vulnerable - just like he never saw you like that

it was probably in a casual moment when he noticed - like you grabbing something from the top shelf and your sleeve rolling down

both of your hearts drop, making you put your sleeve into position again, avoiding his gaze. After it took him some seconds to find his composure again he slowly makes his way to you and gently grabs one side of your cheek to press the side of your face against his chest. He repeatedly kisses the top of your head gently while his beating heart eases the lump in your throat. With his other hand he reaches out for your fingers to intertwine them lazily, rubbing the palm with his thumb.

he keeps quiet, being scared of saying anything to upset you. He doesn’t need to though, you just feel that you’re safe with him.

you both are each others home, you know that and he knows too. No matter how stone cold he seems to others, you know he’s in fact the opposite

you sigh shakingly, muttering an apology since guilt overpowers you now

he clicks his tongue and shakes his head while pulling you closer 

  I’m sorry I didn’t notice.. I should have paid more attention.

Suna was never the type to understand why someone would hurt themselves. It didn’t solve the problem, it made him frown. He never left disgusting remarks though - he just didn’t get it, or he didn’t care enough. And no one around him has ever done that so why should he care? But people have their reasons right? Well if it wasn’t for you he still wouldn’t know what it meant to doubt yourself but having no strength to do anything about it. What it meant to never feel good enough. What it meant to lose desire and joy in everything. Thanks to you he developed some kind of empathy, flipping a switch in his mind. He’s become more patient and understanding, making you unable to comprehend how his piercing eyes can look so gentle when you meet his gaze. Before him, all you’ve known was people blaming you for how you felt — and how you coped. But he’s never blamed you once. And why would he? He’d gain nothing from making you feel worse, he’s aware of this much. He isn’t obvious about it, never even talked to his friends about it to protect you, but also to protect himself. He’d honestly rather avoid things that make him seem weak and vulnerable. Suna’s just not someone who likes to admit weakness. If the others knew how soft he could be for his significant other, they would never, and I mean NEVER, let him live down on that. Too bad you got him wrapped around your finger - in every way possible. Cause despite not knowing how to deal with..specific situations, he just pulls you into a hug. For as long as it needs to last, neither of you care how long you keep hugging in the middle of a room. Or a hallway. Or a mall. He couldn’t care less the only thing that matters is to make you feel loved, valid. That’s his way of being there for you. Cradling in his scent and warmth, with lidded eyes you feel at home.

Kita 

he knows about your past, like who are we kidding he knows everything lmao

of course he knows, he’d want to know every little thing about you only if you’re comfortable tho like he wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to

idk I just think his trust would crack if you lied to him or hid something from him.

He’d rather have you tell him you don’t want to talk about it than just blatantly lie to him

talking it out,, a lot of talking

but it’s okay because it never felt like Kita would judge you in any way

he’s so attentive when he listens to you, he never misses ANYTHING and also remembers the smallest details about you

you can be sure that he’s the best support system, he’s patient, gentle and just overall willing to help, giving alternatives etc.

so damn proud of you for fighting

it’s been a while since you’ve done anything to yourself so when you relapse you don’t know how to face him without feeling guilty,,

you don’t even need to say it out loud, your behavior gives away what’s happened 

he sighs and frowns apologetically, reaching out for your hands

his thumbs stroking softly over your fingers

“May I..?“ He glances to where you hurt yourself. Insecure about your prior action you bite the inside of your cheek. “It’s not that bad anyway..“ You try to talk your way out of it and notice the way his eyebrow twitches in displeasure at your choice of words. “Sorry..“ You say awkwardly as you give in to his touch. Kita brushes up the fabric covering your wounds to take a closer look. You watch his every move as he closes his eyes for a moment, sighing. “Come with me.“ he nods in the direction of your bathroom, making you sit down on the toilet as you get there. Never on earth would you have ever thought you’d witness someone taking care of you so deliberately. Why were you that scared again? You sigh out in relief, earning a confused look of your boyfriend. It wouldn’t stop him though, the only thing he’d do would probably be pulling a grimace whenever you inhaled sharply at the stinging disinfectant. He’s still kneeling in front of you, doesn’t even hesitate to look at you directly before he gets up to cup your face, placing a light kiss on your lips. Picking you up, he carries you to the living room, letting you down on the sofa. “Wait here“ - he left the room as soon as the words left his mouth, only for him to come back with some plushies, blankets and pillows. Bet you’re gonna spend the rest of the day on the sofa, not that you’d complain. However, you end up cuddled up with dozens of plushies around you, the side of your head resting on Kitas chest. You talk and you talk and you talk, until there’s nothing left to say. Don’t think he didn’t notice the way you’re dragging yourself down because of that. He furrows his brows and after some silence he lightly pushes your chin up to make you look at him. “You know I’m not mad at you right?“ You feel your eyes burn at the sincerity of his words. He breathes out a laugh and places kisses all over your face. “You know that relapsing is part of healing and improving right?“ He kisses you all over again. “And you know that healing isn’t a straight-lined process right?“ Man you can barely bite back your tears anymore. If some out stander would have watched the whole scene, they probably would have been shocked at the way Kita started chuckling wholeheartedly. He almost felt sorry - but he wasn’t laughing at you - he just couldn’t help it, you looked too adorable. ”You’ll be just fine, I know you will and I’ll be the one to watch you bloom.“

Hey anon!

I’m sorry it’s taking me way too long to respond but I’m grateful you’re understanding so thank you for your patience.🥺

Don’t be confused as to why I only wrote for Suna and Kita for now, I’ll plan on doing another part for Bokuto and Atsumu! I hope reading that lifted your mood and that you’re doing better now.🥺 take care and stay strong 💖