#feel like going to a mental hospital is the only option at this point

[epaily]

im tired

im just so unbelievably

unbearably

tired

[irisbaggins]

Because I'm procrastinating on writing about the history of RPGs, I'm going to actually do a little analysis on that "accidental mind control" scene. Specifically, I want to look at it critically as a text and not as a bit. Why? Well, because I can, but also because it's a really interesting moment that somehow actually fits wonderfully into the narrative.

When it comes to who got mind controlled by Sam, it was just Evan and Jammer that got hit with it, whereas K managed to dodge it fully. And here's why that's so interesting to me, narratively; K is the only one of the three hit by the spell who has refused to let go of their burden. Whilst K has had it pointed out to them that they cannot do everything by themselves, they have still refused so see that possibility. They still end up taking things on by themselves, which has only been further proven by their experience in the hospital. Yes, it was fun for them to live in a fantasy for a moment, but isn't it very interesting that K chose to be a doctor and to specialise in the field they had earlier horrifically failed? Yes, it was partially a gag by Erika, but goddamn does it not fit K's character. In a world where K can be a saviour, a healer, a fixer, they decided to be specialised in a field in which their previous mistake had cost them their friend's life. Erika is excellent when it comes to subtle character traits and flaws peeking through, and this "gag" is proof of that; K feels an incredible amount of guilt, but they try to handwave it off when it's brought into the light - "Just messing around in a hot tub!" - because they cannot process their failure. Because if they failed, then what is their point? If they cannot help people, then what are they even doing?

A thing that will never leave my thoughts when it comes to K, is how we were first introduced to them; with Erika describing K as being "chronically online", fighting with people on social media and engaging in social justice. And I have no idea about you all, but I remember being very much the same as a teenager. Of thinking that every problem in the world was mine to shoulder, and thus piling on issues that were never mine to hold. I see the same happening with K, but K hasn't let that mentality go. They have only gotten worse. They have an Atlas Complex: they take the whole world on their shoulders, convinced that they alone can save it. They cannot let go of that desire to help, that desire to fix, that need for control. They were always like this, since the moment we first saw them; they just channelled that into the rest of the Misfits during the events of the first season.

But in this season? They've been alone for a while, with only Teddy for company and as a voice of reason. K has spiralled into thinking only they can save magic, and it's causing fractures that we - the audience - are only just starting to see the consequences of. Their attempt of healing Evan - which I discussed here - was a natural progression of their guilt at what happened to Magic and the Magic World, as well as their guilt for Evan and themself splitting up where the former clearly got into a lot of trouble without them. K falling into the fantasy of the hospital was them, for a moment, experiencing success, instead of the ever-present guilt that is their current adventure. K could exist within that world, not because they let up on their need for control, but because they embraced the need for control in a world that was familiar and predictable.

Which then leads into Sam's incredible feat of magic, and K's ability to sidestep being controlled. Whilst yes, it was the roll of the dice that decided their fate, I also think any other option would have maybe been less impactful: both Evan and Jammer have begun to realise they can depend on others and let go of their need to control everything, but K hasn't yet. K has begun to admit that it is a problem, but has yet to admit that it is something they must change. That they should not be carrying this burden for themselves. They started to open up to Jammer, but they still have not talked about Itsy and what their work truly entailed. They're still hiding some parts of themself, not allowing others to help with their problems. They don't know how to let others in - at least, not anymore - and so they end up refusing to let up control. They cannot give themselves in to Sam's spell, because they have to solve everything on their own. They're slowly opening up to letting others help, though; Sam was not only able to get K out of the hospital, but K also included Sam in their plan to find the source of the amplification magic. They're just not completely ready to surrender fully to letting others help. Not yet.

But hopefully, soon.

Anyway. This episode was so fun, and I loved the look into everybody's character as they were faced with the challenges of The Trope Hospital. I can't help but want to dig my teeth into what all of these islands brings out of the characters, and how the narrative unfolds. I could go on and on about Aabria's worldbuilding, and about the cast and how they play their characters. Just. Ugh. Misfits is so good, y'all.

[doberbutts]

weird question, but is there a reason why humans with rabies don't become as mindlessly aggressive as animals with rabies? like, how come people with rabies aren't running around biting everyone?

If I'd hazard a guess, it probably cooks us before we progress that far. Additionally, it also likely has something to do with natural instinct- humans with rabies while they are still able to talk report feeling intense fear and pain while experiencing hallucinations.

Most humans actively don't want to hurt other people- I have a schizophrenic aunt and even in her worst delusions and hallucinations where she may be screaming threats, she's never actually followed through on any of them because she genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone when she's capable of processing situations logically. Similarly, I have a friend-of-a-friend who is also severely mentally ill, and the only times he's ever hurt someone are when he gets grabbed while he's hallucinating that someone is trying to hurt him. Those he's lashed out at in this state get shoved or kicked or punched before he continues to try to get away from them (they also forgive him immediately because they are his caretakers and understand his mental state very well).

When we started using tools as a species, we also stopped reaching for "biting you" as a defensive response unless there is truly no other choice. Even in the grips of intense fear and panic and pain and delusion and hallucination and paranoia, humans are more likely to choose literally any other option than teeth unless that's their last line of defense. We probably did bite each other back when we were no different than our great ape cousins.

More or less, I'm not entirely convinced that rabies sends signals for "bite" specifically, and is more sending signals for "attack", and humans don't really reach for "bite" when attacking as a general rule unlike other animals. Humans who are restrained in their hospital beds are significantly more likely to bite their caregivers- shoving, kicking, and punching are out of the question when you're tied down. That is true regardless of if they have rabies or not.

Additionally, the virus seems to only progress so far before it stagnates at a specific stage in certain animals. Bats are significantly more likely to have "dumb rabies" than "furious rabies". This could be due to a number of things ranging from "dumb rabies makes them incapable of flight and fucks up their sonar [true!] and so they starve to death before symptoms can progress past that [theory!] since they have fast metabolisms and missing even a single night's meal is devastating to their health [true!]" to "bats show some resistance to rabies as a whole [true!] and thus it may take much longer for symptoms to progress in the usual manner and so the bat generally dies before it can go any further [theory!]" Bats CAN progress to the furious stage, but we don't tend to see it as often.

There has never been a recorded instance of rabies passing from human to human so my money's on a combo of the two theories. It's very possible that Grug The Caveman got rabies from the wolves he was trying to tame and then wiped out his entire society by zombie-biting the fuck out of everyone who tried to help him. But we weren't writing things down at that point, so we have no way of knowing.

Rabies' first documentation is 4000 years ago- but it's very possible it existed before that, since the writing just states that the owner of a rabid dog needs to take provisions against it biting anyone, meaning we knew by then what rabies was and that the bite was dangerous. It's very possible this disease has followed us around since before humans harnessed fire and invented the wheel. That's a decent amount of un-accounted-for time for humans to have hulked out and started zombie-biting.

We have so many folkstory monsters in nearly every culture on the planet that boil down to "had contact with an animal that was acting strangly, turned me into a savage monster that tries to kill everything I see less than a month later, btw my monster disease is super contagious and I spread it by biting the fuck out of you" that predate any modern science knowledge of how the virus works, which makes me think that it probably did happen back in the caveman days and it's ancestrial memory that has us clinging to these concepts to this day.

[wovenstarlight]

and another rant i have built up over jinjae is their everything around food. the first instance i can remember is the courtesy chocolates SHJ brings HYJ after the Babar dungeon, when he's in the hospital (chapters 80/81), which he says is for HYJ due to the stress he must be feeling over HYH. and then immediately kills any goodwill in the very next sentence by going Wowww you're so useful and i'd love to acquire you etc etc. HYJ's not even the one who accepts them from SHJ, that's BYR, and later HYJ says he only eats them because he has nothing better to do (no other option than SHJ, huh...) and even then the Dokkaebi ends up eating half the box. gift that's barely accepted.

the next instance i can think of is post-human trafficking auction in chapter 127 where SHJ makes him eggs, but. well. literally as he's cooking they have this exchange:

(this got so fucking long i had to put it under a cut. takes your hand come with me on this journey)

[SHJ] “I’d like for you to stay unharmed until I grow bored. Mentally, I mean.” [HYJ] “And my body doesn’t matter?” [SHJ] “If your bulk decreases, you’ll be easier to carry around.”

so "i'm making food for you" but also "i don't care if your health deteriorates and/or you lose weight, as long as you're useful". an interesting combination of messages to send, given that HYJ's also struggling in this scene to figure out what SHJ wants from him, what with seemingly looking out for him and his loved ones by lending Sillekia to BYR for fighting HYH, but also still continuing with this "my item" shit and only looking at him for his usefulness. but this instance IS notable in that it's the first time SHJ cooks for HYJ. a slight turning point in their relationship...?

it does seem so cuz after that... HYJ becoming sick of orange- and apple-flavored mana potions because he chugs them so often, and SHJ responding to this in chapter 185 (birthday arc, before HYJ admitted he stole his memories) by acquiring swiss chocolate-flavored mana potions for him. already he's started with the little treats.

and then. sorry i'm feeling the 216 feelings. 1 minute. Okay normal. and then. yes once again it's chapter 216, when SHJ first starts making readably genuine attempts at kindness towards HYJ, starting the entire interaction by making him a drink that "looked like it was just juice, but it was actually sweet. Tasty." normal behavior from SHJ to rent out the entire rooftop pool and bar to show off his bartending skills to HYJ btw.

then the VR dungeon arc, where SHJ can't see HYJ until he installs the first disc, but the moment he does he starts being absolutely unbearable, the relevant part being when HYJ's reached Achates and is stressed out over HYH's treatment to the point of losing his appetite, at which point SHJ sends him the "Must Eat Well" quest to coax him into eating, rewarding him with chocolate-flavored mana potions, which HYJ himself admits remind him of SHJ:

‘But why are they chocolate-flavored?’ It made me think of that person. It had tasted good.

we're told in chapter 249 that SHJ needs to expend tremendous effort to give HYJ quest rewards and that whatever he gives usually gets cut down (he's talking about point conversions there but i suspect it applies to other rewards as well). so to specifically seek out two potions, especially ones he knows HYJ will prefer more than the common fruit-flavored ones... [puts on my large jinjae-shaped sunglasses like that shit they sell for new years]

and ok i jumped ahead to 249 for the rewards thing but come back to 245 with me and look at that series of cooking quests SHJ sent HYJ to guide him through cooking dinner for himself and HYH. copying over my discord messages from when this chapter dropped for this part of the analysis:

ALSO SPEAKING OF SHJ that chain of quests at the end. he is driving me crazy but yes the cooking quests. like. okay. I mentioned before [...] that I considered this a jinjae scene chapter because. the layers of it all right. he sees hyj wants to cook for his brother but can't decide what to make/how to make it cuz the decision paralysis is hitting after the longass day he's had. so he goes ahead and picks a meal and gives him step by step instructions. overly specific so hyj doesn't hit some dumb roadblock like "idk where the spatula is" and lose it for real. it took multiple quests to give the instructions it might've been easier to give him a prepared meal from whatever store he's picking these rewards from but he spent that time anyway because I'm pretty sure going through the process soothed hyj. normality after the Everything of it all. and then at the end of it because he Knows hyj is prone to not eating when he gets stressed he baits him into eating with rewards. like. Bro. Bro like. OUGH. he cares. he cares.... AND ALSO THAT LAST FUCKING QUEST "made with a spoonful of your partner's love" IS NOT SOMETHING THE SYSTEM WOULD SAY SHJ I KNOW YOURE LEANING INTO "OH NO THE SYSTEMS ALTERING MY MESSAGES DW" AND LETTING YOUR FEELINGS SHOW. YOUR PAPER THIN MASK overemotional over cooking. god. god and even after the cooking thing knowing that hyj would freak upon waking up and not seeing hyh and so keeping an eye on hyh and sending him a quest to tell him where he is.... like fuck dude. FUCK!

ok that's enough of that excerpt this is starting to derail from food analysis. wait hold on actually 249's point about the cost of sending quests and rewards makes the cooking quest series even more impactful because how much did SHJ spend to go to that level of detail and care for HYJ!!!

anyway back to food analysis. 256 where HYJ dies to the inscription process and SHJ purposely serves him bitter tea and sweet cookies to point out that he shouldn't take rewards that come at great costs. SHJ you really love communicating things to people through food, huh? but the fact that the second he's understood SHJ takes away the bitter tea and replaces it with something less bitter and more savory. the fact that when the scout finds him, the last thing SHJ does, even after draping his coat over HYJ to protect him from the shards of falling sky, is refill his teacup. the fact that HYJ drinks it and thinks about how it's warm.

GOD!!! do you see my vision. do you see. SHJ and HYJ and cooking and eating as an act of caring. an act of love.

[ginnysgraffiti]

blood, violence, cannibalism, stalking.

&. LEE x yn.

"LEE, WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, pissed off as blood dripped from his mouth and his hand shook from anger on the steering wheel.

"I KNOW, BUT I WAS HUNGRY! NO ONE WILL NOTICE, WHY ARE YOU WORRYING SO MUCH ALL OF A SUDDEN?!"

"HE HAD A FAMILY! HIS HOUSE IS OVER THERE, HIS FAMILY WILL SEE THE CAR SOON!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU I CLEANED IT!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT-"

you couldn't stand him anymore.

you weren't an eater but his needs and urges were now everyday things for you, and you were sick of fearing that you'd end up behind bars every single time.

lee's bloody hand was still maneuvering the steering wheel when you opened the door and jumped out. you were in the middle of the countryside, but the streetlights still allowed you a view.

"hey- what are you-" he complained.

"leave, go away and leave me here, i'm tired of you!"

lee's eyes pierced your skin like cold needles, and for a moment you thought he was going to jump on you or run you over.

finally he left you there, and you heard the engine go wild as he drove away in the stolen pickup.

now there was only you and nature, if things were bad you would have asked for a ride to your house.

you walked under the dim light and the buzz of the street lamps, there were two or three houses lit up even though it was late in the evening. you didn't bother knocking, you wanted to stretch your legs for a bit.

you could still smell the acrid smell of lee's vehicle in your nostrils when you noticed that a still figure had been contemplating you for quite some time while your mind was elsewhere.

you approached carefully, but you stopped when you noticed some wrinkles illuminated by the street lamp.

you got a little closer, albeit at a safe distance, and recognized the strange man who had been chasing you around supermarkets or inhabited neighborhoods for weeks.

it was creepy, really, but you didn't tell lee.

you didn't want him to worry about something so small.

but maybe, just maybe, it was better if you did.

now you were the one staring at him, and you stared at his strange gray braid falling over his shoulders and his strange scout or fisherman uniform.

"long time no see, mademoiselle."

a smile moved his wrinkles, and you held back a retch.

"who are you...? why have you been following me?"

"haha, you're smart. it's that old sully just wanted to make friends. he feels so alone..."

why does he talk about himself as another person?

that guy needed to be taken to the mental hospital.

"i can give you a lift, you know. i saw that you and your lovebird argued, what a shame..."

"how long have you been stalking me?"

"no, don't treat old sully badly. i'm just protecting you, that's all."

now there were two options: run away...or run away.

you took a step back and felt the gravel slide against your sole, the old man raised a thick eyebrow and in an instant he was on you.

the view was foggy and the world spun around you like a top when your feet left the ground. the next moment he slammed the back of your head against the wall and the dull thud echoed in your head.

he had already restrained your wrists, and if you kicked or screamed it would be worse. he took his time to smell and imprint your scent into his nostrils, you closed your eyes until it hurt.

you understood.

you could already feel his sharp canines imprinting on the cool flesh of your neck and it made you sweat terribly.

a strong smell of mold and musk trapped you whole.

you tightened your fingers around the fabric of his uniform until you could see your hands shaking, but suddenly his teeth moved away and fell with him.

"DIE, BASTARD!!!"

lee was behind him with an iron pipe, the old man was reduced to a puddle of blood in front of your feet. you avoided touching it as if it was lava.

your boyfriend was still as dirty as before, shirtless and looking like a butcher, but now he was scratching his head with a strong itch and you held back a laugh.

"am i too late? did he hurt you?"

his eyes traveled over you frantically, as if to see if you were still in one piece.

"don't worry...i'm o-"

"i'm so fucking sorry about our argument...i should have listened and been more careful, sorry, i-..." his voice caught in his throat.

"shhh...i'm glad you're here."

your lips rested on his, you could feel the blood from his previous hunt running down your throat with a strong iron taste.

he didn't notice and pushed you against the wall, seeking your lips as his lifeline.

his fingers were quickly stroking your hair, now your shoulders and following your hips.

"i love you, i love you, i love you..."

the words slipped out of his mouth like his most precious mantra. you were so glad he had saved you...

luckily, his cannibal sixth sense never failed.

[creepy-friday]

Ok ok

Hear me out

👀

Imagine if the Proxies were in any type of relationship with Y/N, and Y/N isn't a proxy or maid or anything.

And Y/N got pregnant 💀

Brownie points if the baby is a girl-.

Notes: the reader is in an established relationship with them,and kept the pregnancy a secret until the only option was for the baby to be born

Warnings: pregnancy mentions,yandere tendencies in Brian's part,mental illness in Toby's and misogyny in Tim's

Special thanks to @spookyravioli for the inspiration♡

"Oh.Oh." Toby's first reaction is shock and slowly the feeling of dread would start to overcome him

He never imagined himself as a lover,let alone the tought of becoming a parent.Toughts of his own father started to beat him up,and insecurity spread trough him like a disease

He needs A LOT of reassurance in order for him to not break down.During the pregnancy he would be very supportive partner and would try to keep you as happy as possible

He bought a shit ton of books,from parenthood guide books to kids ones that he would often read to calm down

When the daughter was born,multiple thoughts entered his brain."I'm a father now." sounds both bittersweet and scary to him

This was the time when he started to take medicine for his outbursts,not only for him,but for both yourself and the baby's sake

As much as he wanted to not traumatize his daughter,he couldn't help but make her be constantly on edge

She wasn't afraid of him,but rather wary,slowly understanding that her father wasn't always in the right place

Despite his early efforts,I can see as the daughter grows up she would start to resent him from all the things that he hides away from her to the way he seems off putting

Because Toby's workplace is a demanding one,I can see him completely giving up on meds and having angry withdrawals because of it

That's why it will be up to the daughter to either sugarcoat the way her father is or to step up and overgrow him

Surprisingly,Masky's first tought isn't to go buy milk.Instead,he takes his time to reason with you and to list all the complication the baby will come with

He tries to be a good lover to you,he really doesn't want the of risk losing you because of his shitty moods,that's why he genuinely tries to not stress you out during the pregnancy

Tim will take care of anything you need,even if he would mutter something under his breath,all he does is for you.In his mind,if he loses you he will lose himself as well,that's why he's so eager to please you

After getting into a verbal fight with half of the hospital personnel,he almost lost his mind when he heard that he was having a daughter

He grew up distant for a while,and was passive aggressive while taking care of the baby,as if her whole existence's worth is based off her gender

After he became warmer to you he became colder to the daughter as time flew by and she grew older

"It's because you're a girl" ; "This isn't a girl's job" ; "Are you really going to wear that?Unfit for a girl"

I can see the daughter growing up to break down her father's stereotypes,but at the same time battling with his inner demons

She might have addiction problems and become obsessive over subjects she can have control over

If the mother doesn't do anything about it,I can see the daughter having a history with battling the same type of mental illness her father had

Brian knew all along about your pregnancy,and secretly enjoyed the tought of something or someone to keep both of you forever together

After all,the baby is the living proof of your love,that's what he believes

He made sure you're kept safe and get the best health care from other women doctors/nurses,he doesn't trust male personnel

Brian was an implicated parent,altough he heavily wanted as little communication as possible from you and the outside world

From the time the daughter became a toddler,he started to grow those sick ideas into her little head about how ugly society is

As time flew by,he already convinced her that all men are beasts,and that the only safe resort she has are her parents

He not only made both yourself and your daughter paranoid,but made sure that the others would avoid interacting with both of you by saying things like "oh,my wife became mentally ill because of pregnancy complications..please do not stress her out"

If the daughter grows suspicious about her father's occupation,she would keep it a secret from her panicked mother and would try to figure it out herself,all while trying not to give Brian any clue about it

Brian genuinely thinks he made a safe space for his family,and without the reader's reasoning I can see both the reader and her daughter having a limited life inside the cabin and the forest

[foxglovepng]

Hello, first time requesting anything and I hope I do this right. I like what you've posted previously and I hope you enjoy this request idea.

I saw screenshots of a post recently about a TWST x Tinkerbell/Pirate Fairy event where shenanigans happens and everyone's UM's are switch around.

But what if Yuu got someone else's UM? Would they go power mad? OB by accident because they couldn't control the amount of magic? Just chill until the fairies corrected the switch? How would the owner of the UM deal with Yuu handling their power feel? And how would they feel about being magicless for the time being?

Suggested students are Grim, Azul, Jamil, Vil and Deuce, or anyone else you would prefer, all of them are fun options.

Hope you are doing well 💜

Characters: Idia, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Deuce, Jade, Malleus.

CW: Swearing, Probably an OOC Vil, Azul has a mental breakdown, Idia freaks out. SPOILERS FOR BOOK 6 (Idia), SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 (Malleus), Probably OOC most characters tbh.

A/N: I heavily loved this movie as a child and I still love it and watch it on occasion. I know this movie so well I can predict the dialogue :sob: I switched out Grim for Idia because I believe there is a mention that Grim had a curse in Book 6 (correct me if I am wrong) But it was while Idia was discussing some possible theories about the Overblots. Because I loved this movie so much and I am watching it as a I write I will be yapping...a lot. Like just yap yap yap yap and I will be making more parts to this because I have a lot of Ideas. I also added Malleus because he is the only one in Diasmonia with a confirmed/offical UM.

I will also be calling you the Fairy 🧚anon <3

Feel free to let me know which fairy(ies) are your favorite. I love Vidia and Fawn.

W/C: Didn't check Fox yaps a lot (2.540k, 7 pages)

NOT PROOFREAD

For context there will be a Mage like Zarina who was obviously an outcast and who was very innovative and wanted to discover new things (Such as the Fairy Dust) The way I imagine it the mage probably wanted to do things that were considered "Illegal" for Mage magic the NRC students ran into this person and they used their UM to switch the powers of students.

(Character's relationships can be read as platonic or romantic)

Deuce (Bet the Limit)

He is not worried. Although he'd be more concerned about Yuu accidentally using it mid class and hurting someone. His UM is mainly dependent on others attacks so I don't think there would be an issue about hurting someone deeply to the point of hospitalization.

He is worried about the fact he can't use magic anymore. He used his flaunt his magic a lot in middle school now he's not no power (Karma really came back for him didn't it)

If Yuu casually happens to get his ability to summon cauldrons it would be hilarious if Yuu dropped a cauldron "Accidentally" On Ace or Crowley's head. He'd feel bad, but It'd be funny.

(Insert video of Ace getting bashed in the head with a Cauldron but it's bad apple.)

He'd eventually adapt to losing his magic, but he does want to try and get it fixed.

He will help Yuu as much as he can with controlling his magic. If they have any questions he will gladly answer them and help to the best of his ability.

Yuu is least likely to go power mad due to Deuce's UM being low on the list for Powers that will make Yuu go bat-shit insane and commit world domination. (Yes I have an actual list)

When Yuu Overblots

He would probably cry like genuinely.

Yuu has gone through enough in TWST and when they finally snap he would be extremely worried for Yuu because he is scared they will get hurt badly/hurt others badly.

Deuce's UM is actually scary so when it comes to overblotting Yuu could hurt A LOT of people.

Riddle's UM won't be able to help and Yuu could just basically absorb every attack that hits them.

Yuu could probably kill someone with his power and that is a really scary though to think about.

(Deuce can too since it is quite his power)

On a skill level there is a possibility Yuu could lose control of the magic, on a power level they could injure a lot of people. Either way Yuu and other people will be getting hurt.

If they somehow stop Yuu's overblot GET THEM THERAPY INSTANTLY make Leona or someone else rich pay for it.

Deuce would look like a sad puppy because he just witnessed his friend he deeply cares about just snap. Probably wouldn't leave Yuu's side while they recover.

He probably feels the most guilty as he couldn't do anything and wished he could have helped more.

Peep Grim crying about his henchman.

If Yuu DOES kill someone um mage jail? or how would that work since they aren't from TWST would they like be in custody in their own world???? because quite literally they have no information on Yuu to send them to Mage Jail.

I'm done yapping moving on

Azul (It's a Deal)

Instant panic attack instantly.

Considering his backstory and why he is becoming a Mage he would definitely freak out over not having his powers. Bro needs his octopot.

When he learns it was Yuu who got his powers he would feel a bit more relieved

"Yuu can I have my powers back? just make a deal with me."

"HOW TF DO I DO THAT????"

Jade and Floyd are laughing their asses off when he tries to teach you how magic works. They are not going to do anything to help AT ALL.

Azul does NOT feel happy about being powerless at ALL. He has a business to keep running and Yuu is struggling.

I can imagine Yuu accidentally making a contract and stealing someone else's power and then having to keep THAT ONE under control.

Overall I feel like Azul makes top 5 of "Yuu will have a panic attack from being unable to control this power"

Azul would probably adjust to the change but he would not be happy with it at all.

There is a possibility Yuu could go power mad, but Azul is based on capitalism Yuu is not. They would probably only go power mad as a way for threatening/bargaining to go home.

When Yuu Overblots

Pray Yuu has the power under control

Azul's Overblot 2.0 except no tentacles

Azul tries to help the best he can and then gets blasted with magic right in the face. (L bozo)

When Yuu just snaps Azul wishes he could of down more, but he realizes he only was helping Yuu for himself. Not for them. They had to deal a lot and he probably was the one that broke the camels back for them to overblot.

On a skill level and Power level it would probably be the same as Azul's however Yuu has less control over the power.

Yuu is getting back for when he overblotted. /hj

When Yuu unoverblots Azul gives them an apology and also starts the process for them to see a therapist. Probably get's an earful from Deuce and Ace about pushing Yuu over the edge.

Jade (Shock The Heart)

Is not worried.

He doesn't need magic to intimidate people although he needs magic to obtain information.

"Oya? it appears the prefect has my power."

You know how Azul and Deuce would help? He wouldn't

When it comes to Jade's power it can easily be exploited to gain all kinds of information from someone and in the wrong hand's world domination can be caused.

Yuu gets help anyway from Tweedle Dee and Dum over at Heartslabyul.

Yuu would accidentally use Jade's power on people and would probably gain information they wouldn't want to know and probably has gotten traumatized.

Begs Jade to take his power back and he just giggles at Yuu. He is fine with not using Magic, but it is funny to see Yuu attempt to use his magic.

He's enjoying you struggle. However if it gets to a certain point he may help keyword may.

When Yuu overblots

No one is worried lmao.

I mean overblotting is bad, but Jade's power is like so??? normal?? that an overblot would be dangerous, but his conditions are it can only be used once so if Yuu acivates it they probably wouldn't be able to use it again.

hopefully..

If not they are royally fucked tbh.

Jade can't do anything at all and probably will get grilled later for not helping Yuu.

When they unoverblot Yuu Jade is the first one to get them to the infirmary carrying them bridal style (slay king) and making sure they recieve proper treatment. Also apologises for not helping them learn as he was worried they would go power mad.

Jamil (Snake Whisperer)

He is flipping out.

Number 1. Yuu just got this power and barely can control it IMAGINE WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

(Manipulate Crowley into sending them home)

Number 2. Jamil needs his magic and as Kalims retainer he needs it more than Yuu :sob:

Jamil is already stressed out with wrangling Kalim 24/7 now he has this on his hands. Bro just might overblot from stress.

Either way he helps Yuu with gaining control because Yuu almost made Ace choke on his food from accidentally using the UM. And almost made Jack run into a tree (It was funny actually)

We all know how Jamil's overblot turned out someone call up the Octotrio to deal with this again.

There is a possibility Yuu could go power mad. However Yuu is a sweetheart (possibly) and wouldn't control their friends.. right?

Jamil physically can't adjust to being magicless and tries to literally hunt the person down but fails miserably.

When Yuu overblots

I dare Yuu to throw everyone who's fighting so Jamil can get yeeted too (I'd be funny I swear)

Jamil overblot 2.0 except Yuu loses control and accidentally brainwashes everyone. whoops

Jamil got his Karma from brainwashing the whole dorm

Wait if he can brainwash the whole dorm could he brainwash all of NRC? 😨

When Yuu snaps Yuu is coming for everyone INCLUDING CROWLEY his ass is not getting saved.

I pray for everyone who is fighting Yuu. Compared to Deuce's though I'd rather get brainwashed tbh.

If Yuu somehow manages to get pulled out Kalim is making sure everyone who was affected is okay and Jamil is rushing Yuu to the infirmary. When Yuu snaps it would be dreadful tbh and I don't think people would make it out of this OB with Yuu unless they physically got hurt to the point of unconsciousness, or Malleus was like "No don't overblot you're too sexy aha".

Jamil also apologizes for not being able to do enough and makes sure Yuu sees a therapist.

Snake whisperer overblot Yuu and Bet the Limit overblot Yuu are genuinely scary and I'm terrified.

Vil (Fairest One of All)

Instant panic

Vil's UM is so powerful that when a curse is placed with conditions it cannot be lifted even with Vil's interference unless the conditions are met.

Imagine Yuu with that power. Crowley suddenly has a way for Yuu to get home.

Vil would be more concerned with his potato having a power they CANNOT control. Yuu will be accidentally placing curses on people.

Ace would suddenly get paralyzed from the neck down and Yuu didn't know how they did it.

Yuu accidentally paralyzing people is crazy.

Vil helps Yuu try to gain control of the power but has a really hard time.

This is another one where if Yuu were to overblot it would be because they accidentally use the UM too much and are stressed because of it.

Vil doesn't mind being magicless however do NOT let his father figure that out he might force Vil out of NRC into modeling.

When Yuu overblots

Uncontrolled curse magic with a stressed-out overblotting Yuu. Yeah this is up there with Bet the limit and Snake Whisperer.

Someone is probably dying.

Vil almost killed Neige for gods sake imagine what YUU COULD DO.

Vil tried to curse Yuu mid overblot but forgot he couldn't use magic.

Vil is actively sending Rook after the mage who switched powers. Vil wants his potato back.

If Yuu manages to snap out of an OB Vil is also the one making sure Yuu gets treatment. He will also pay for their therapy and treatments.

When Vil gets his hand on the mage she will not be existing anymore /hj

!!!SPOILERS FOR IDIA AND MALLEUS BELOW SPOILERS I REPEAT SPOILERS I SAID SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!

You have been warned

Idia (Game, Set, Match)

Every time I say Yuu is terrifying with a certain OB It gets worse. (I should make a list tbh)

Idia is freaking the hell out. Probably has a panic attack but we aren't there yet.

Idia's UM literally control the gates to the underworld and basically keeps the blot monsters in and if Yuu accidentally opens that.

I pray for everyone's safety.

Idia has probably headed a warning about this and is actively hunting down the mage. Ortho is helping too.

This is one of those where I say Yuu should not have it because with one wrong move and hundreds if not thousands of people could get hurt.

Idia is panicking Yuu is panicking Ortho is trying to calm them down.

Yuu most likely overblots because Idia is freaking them out, and they don't want to open the gates to hell.

I wonder if one of his parents could also open and close the gate with their magic that will literally help.

When Yuu overblots

Run everyone the gates of hell opened again.

If I had a nickel for every time someone overblotted and opened the gates of hell I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot of nickels, but it is weird that it happened twice.

Idia is making sure the literal gates of hell did NOT open, and surely enough they did.

Crowley is probably getting sued

In Theory the battle could be easy however when it comes to the UM someone tell Yuu to close the gates.

Blot monster domination 2.0

Ortho manages to hunt the mage down, but only until after the overblot is over and the gates have opened.

Idia completely forgot about Yuu's condition so when they switched powers he was more focused on closing the gate. He got grilled for that by Ace and Deuce who carried Yuu to the nurses.

I feel like this one is scary but more in the sense that Yuu has the power to the hell world.

Malleus (Fae of Maleficence)

Do I even need to say how bad this would be?

I know damn well most of Diasmonia is tweaking that Waka Sama just lost his power.

When Malleus learns it's Yuu he's more worried about them being stressed out over this and tries to help them the best way he could and even gets Lilia in on it.

Malleus is one of the top 5 mages in the world Yuu is probably one panic attack away from overblotting and putting everyone's ass to sleep.

Malleus is also concerned about the possibility of an overblot so he is definitely trying to keep them from overblotting. Whatever his child of man needs he will snap his fingers and it's done.

Yuu wants a massage? Malleus will arrange that. Yuu needs food he will buy Yuu some. Yuu wants ice cream? He wants some too. Yuu wants a fucking break? He will threaten Crowley for one.

He understands the power that was given to Yuu is a lot handle and will accommodate his Child of man (They are getting married after this)

He is also sending Silver and Sebek after the mage and the mage may or may not be existing after he finds her.

When Yuu overblots

As of 2/26/24 not all of Diasmonia has been updated/finished so I have no information as to how it will end/ how his overblot will go. But let's just imagine it.

Malleus fell into a dream world where he got to be happy with his Child of Man. He is King, he has children, and he's with his Child of Man happily. :SOBBING:

When he get pulled out from the dream he's like why :( probably all pouty since it was a good dream. And then remembers Yuu overblotted and is like no my child of man.

He is the first one to instantly get Yuu help bro can't teleport, but he can run and if he can still turn into a dragon he can fly.

He apologizes to Yuu even though he did all he could he still feel like he could have done more. He gets Yuu all of the treatments they need instantly and when the mage switches back their powers she is deader than his Mom.

[ginnyluvstimmy]

sixth sense (lee x f.reader)

( where you and lee have an argument )

"LEE, WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS!" You yelled at the top of your lungs, pissed off as blood dripped from his mouth and his hand shook from anger on the steering wheel.

"I KNOW, BUT I WAS HUNGRY! NO ONE WILL NOTICE, WHY ARE YOU WORRYING SO MUCH ALL OF A SUDDEN?!"

"HE HAD A FAMILY! HIS HOUSE IS OVER THERE, HIS FAMILY WILL SEE THE CAR SOON!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU I CLEANED IT!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT-"

You couldn't stand him anymore.

You weren't an eater but his needs and urges were now everyday things for you, and you were sick of fearing that you'd end up behind bars every single time.

Lee's bloody hand was still maneuvering the steering wheel when you opened the door and jumped out. You were in the middle of the countryside, but the streetlights still allowed you a view.

"Hey- What are you-" He complained.

"Leave, go away and leave me here, I'm tired of you!"

Lee's eyes pierced your skin like cold needles, and for a moment you thought he was going to jump on you or run you over.

Finally he left you there, and you heard the engine go wild as he drove away in the stolen pickup.

Now there was only you and nature, if things were bad you would have asked for a ride to your house.

You walked under the dim light and the buzz of the street lamps, there were two or three houses lit up even though it was late in the evening. You didn't bother knocking, you wanted to stretch your legs for a bit.

You could still smell the acrid smell of Lee's vehicle in your nostrils when you noticed that a still figure had been contemplating you for quite some time while your mind was elsewhere.

You approached carefully, but you stopped when you noticed some wrinkles illuminated by the street lamp.

You got a little closer, albeit at a safe distance, and recognized the strange man who had been chasing you around supermarkets or inhabited neighborhoods for weeks.

It was creepy, really, but you didn't tell Lee.

You didn't want him to worry about something so small.

But maybe, just maybe, it was better if you did.

Now you were the one staring at him, and you stared at his strange gray braid falling over his shoulders and his strange scout or fisherman uniform.

"Long time no see, mademoiselle"

A smile moved his wrinkles, and you held back a retch.

"Who are you...? Why have you been following me?"

"Haha, you're smart. It's, old Sully just wanted to make friends. He feels so alone..."

Why does he talk about himself as another person?

That guy needed to be taken to the mental hospital.

"I can give you a lift, you know. I saw that you and your lovebird argued, what a shame..."

"How long have you been stalking me?"

"No, don't treat old Sully badly. I'm just protecting you, that's all."

Now there were two options: run away...or run away.

You took a step back and felt the gravel slide against your sole, the old man raised a thick eyebrow and in an instant he was on you.

The view was foggy and the world spun around you like a top when your feet left the ground. The next moment he slammed the back of your head against the wall and the dull thud echoed in your head.

He had already restrained your wrists, and if you kicked or screamed it would be worse. He took his time to smell and imprint your scent into his nostrils, you closed your eyes until it hurt.

You understood.

You could already feel his sharp canines imprinting on the cool flesh of your neck and it made you sweat terribly.

You tightened your fingers around the fabric of his uniform until you could see your hands shaking, but suddenly his teeth moved away and fell with him.

"DIE, BASTARD!!!"

Lee was behind him with an iron pipe, the old man was reduced to a puddle of blood in front of your feet. You avoided touching it as if it was lava.

Your boyfriend was still as dirty as before, shirtless and looking like a butcher, but now he was scratching his head with a strong itch and you held back a laugh.

"Am I too late? Did he hurt you?"

His eyes traveled over you frantically, as if to see if you were still in one piece.

"Don't worry...I'm o-"

"I'm so fucking sorry about our argument...I should have listened and been more careful, sorry, I-..." His voice caught in his throat.

"Shhh...I'm glad you're here"

Your lips rested on his, you could feel the blood from his previous hunt running down your throat with a strong iron taste.

He didn't notice and pushed you against the wall, seeking your lips as his lifeline.

His fingers were quickly stroking your hair, now your shoulders and following your hips.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

The words slipped out of his mouth like his most precious mantra.

Luckily his cannibal sixth sense never failed.

[fyrewalks]

a (hopefully) comprehensive look at bob and jewishness:

bob grew up in a reform jewish household. between his dad not being jewish and all the upheaval they faced being a military family, bob knows he didn't have the most traditional upbringing. still, both parents made judaism a priority so he doesn't really feel like he missed out on much.

at this point in bob's life, he tends to prioritize cultural/personal celebrations and reflections of his faith. he still goes to shabbat services often, but at the same time, is fine with missing out on synagogue.

a good estimate is that bob goes two to three times a month when he's stateside. generally, he prefers early saturday morning services because he likes friday night being for friends, family, and food. he also tends to skip shabbat service if he's gone earlier in the week for a holiday.

also, sometimes he'll make the joke that shabbat is a time for 'mental rest' and that he's completely justified in playing video games/goofing off. otherwise, he doesn't follow shabbat restrictions.

whenever he moves, he finds local kosher supermarkets, delis, cafes etc first. bob, at his core, is a foodie.

(regardless of if i have him based at top gun or lemoore, he meets megan miller during one of his supermarket hunts. megan is a local navy housewife and invites him to attend shabbat with her family; they become decently close friends and bob occasionally babysits for them. fc: jenny slate)

bob follows 'lazy kosher' meaning he mostly follows the rules in terms of what meats/proteins to eat. he does make exceptions for shrimp and the dairy rule, nor does he keep separate items in his kitchen. most of what he buys has a kosher symbol on it and whenever he's unsure at a restaurant, he just sticks to veggie options.

bob has a floral mezuzah that was gifted to him by his sister, gracie, when he started flight school.

bob doesn't fast on the anniversary of his sister's, stevie's, death. he finds it too hard. he does light a candle for her, though, and donates to the children's hospital she was treated at every year.

the only shiva bob has done was for stevie. he absolutely hated it, but that is mostly due to him being an angry ten year old struggling in the wake of such a devastating loss. bob hasn't visited stevie's grave in a while, but he has been collecting rocks for it.

while it's a bit 'untraditional', bob has a bumble bee tattoo with stevie's name above his left elbow. he won't admit that he was drunk when he got and is generally conflicted on if he'd get another tattoo. he knows that if he did, he'd get one in hebrew.

bob loved learning hebrew and can/does still speak it. he understands yiddish well, but can't carry out full conversations. he uses yiddish the way most people do, saying something looks schmutz or calling a little kid bubbeleh etc.

bob minored in jewish studies in college. it was a way to keep up with hebrew, keep him busy after he stopped drinking, and helped him reconnect with his faith.

bob didn't attend synagogue or go to hillel while his drinking was at it's worst the first two years or so of college. this was less a rejection of his faith and more him knowing, on some level, that if he'd gone to temple, that his drinking and the fight with his parents that precipitated it, would've been acknowledged and he wasn't ready to confront either. getting back into regular temple attendance and involved with hillel after he made the decision to stop drinking is one of the biggest things that helped him keep sober. (he does now drink wine with shabbat and other dinners, but never in social settings like a bar or big group parties.)

unsurprisingly, for bob's mitzvah project, her organized a few bake sales and donated the profits to a local food bank. (if you can't tell, food is a really big thing for him.)

bob donates to charities for most holidays, regardless of if he's celebrating it himself or attending synagogue. he has a handful of foodbanks and family services nonprofits that he cycles through. the idea of charity and giving back is something his mom really pushed as he grew up, especially after they benefited from help in the wake of his mom's depression following stevie's death, and bob's grateful for it now because tikkun olam is a big guiding force for him. this is also why if he runs marathons, he'll do it for a charity. (he will admit he probably doesn't physically volunteer enough outside the occasional foodbank during thanksgiving and purim)

rosh hashana - sometimes he'll attend service, but he always does a nice dinner for it when stateside. he likes experimenting with different apple and honey themed desserts.

yom kippur - bob absolutely prioritizes going to temple for this holiday. he'll go both on yom kippur eve (for kol nidre) and during the day. generally, he will not fast if it falls during the week. instead, he'll give up coffee and keep his food light/bland. this year since it fell on fri/sat, he did fast. he'll either attend a big break the fast get together with friends/family, or go out somewhere nice, regardless of he's fasted or not. he also lights a candle for stevie during this time too.

sukkot - it might be the festival of booths, but he is not making a sukkah himself. his mom never did, so it's not something he grew up helping with. he may go to one at temple or family/friends, and generally just celebrates the first day.

simchat torah - honestly, bob tends to be holiday'd out at this point. he generally skips out now as an adult, but his mom did place some importance on this celebration when he and the girls were younger since reading the torah is a accomplishment no matter how often you've gone through it.

hanukkah - bob goes to synagogue at least once but often more if he's visiting his family. (his mom is the treasure for her synagogue's board, so bob's accepted that he goes with her as often as she does whenever he's visiting florida, regardless of holiday.) his parents focused on giving out small, meaningful/useful gifts and experiences (think tickets to the zoo etc) and that's something bob carries on himself. this is one of his favorite holidays to cook for.

(since bob's dad isn't jewish, he did grow up celebrating christmas and easter. bob definitely has a preference for hanukkah, but he does associate christmas with more fun, frivolous and unnecessary gifts. his parents also only decorated for both at the same time if they overlapped, otherwise there were often times when they only had a tree up for like a week.)

tu bishvat - again, this is a holiday that bob doesn't do much for now as an adult. his family has planted trees for stevie in the past, though. if he does anything for it now, it's likely just to make bread or almond cake for friends/family or any bake sales.

purim - like passover, this is a a holiday that bob is certain to go to temple for. it's also a favorite of his! (tho sometimes he's indecisive and says it's tied with hanukkah.) he loves that it's fun and joyous, and it was likely one of the first things that got him laughing after stevie passed in february. he loves making gift baskets of food and goes all out (fancy jams, candied nuts, etc). please don't make him dress in costume, though, he has no interest in that part. he will also volunteer at a food drive/backe sale during this time too.

passover - bob only does seder for the first night, but will sometimes go to a community seder later on. he also really enjoys cooking for this, but isn't as creative since he mostly just sticks to family recipes - he does now add an orange to his plate. growing up his mom would put chocolate on their matzo, and it's something he still craves outside of passover. he's hit or miss on the no leavened/fermented bread thing outside of a seder meal. also, the maggid/four questions used to make him so nervous as a kid.

shavuot - bob doesn't do much beyond buying or sending fresh flowers to his mom.

[starsomens]

IMAGINE IMAGINE

a home birth with Noah 🥹like instead of doing the hospital you both agree that doing it at home would be better, more peaceful and just overall a better birth experience for you.

Noah like we’ve said is super observant and knows that the hospital isn’t the best when it comes to listen to how women want to give birth aside from in their backs (this isn’t prove by facts I’m sure many hospitals do listen to women just go with it)

And yes I am convinced Noah researched different methods and positions for birth and what would make it safer and easier for you. And what’s more safe than at home with him? He will invest into EVERYTHING. A pool, the best most experienced doula/mid wife, supplies, an extra bed in case

EVERYTHING

I feel like he’s also the type to be the first to spot things before you. Like when you have a contraction and think “oh it’s just a cramp, or they’re just stretching”

“Yea the cramp, lasted about 3 minutes. You’re in labor mama” and he’d come and pet your belly like a dad does to the dog

Ans he was right🧍🏽‍♀️ you’re in early labor. He’s got the doula on hold and let her know you started early but still too early for her to come. I think he’s the type to document it because it’s such an intimate experience. Not graphically but like candid shots definitely

At first you were both joking about it and watching your stomach stretch and timing it and going “that was different that time” they were too bad at the start. But after a couple of hours he noticed it was starting to get to the part no one rlly liked. The one where pain was too much to ignore, when you had to really focus on it cuz it was intense. The part where he had to be your rock and hold you and support you.

Between contractions he tried to get you to sleep to have some kind of rest even though you weren’t really getting any.

So now it’s his role to step up and be your support physically, emotionally and mentally. He knows birth can take a toll on women in more ways then one and who was he not to support and be there for you???

On top of that no medication, you both went into this knowing you wouldn't have the option for epidural.

“Squeeze my hand baby you got this”

“Where do you need me?”

“You want me to just hold you?”

“Breathe in…and out baby. Good just like that”

“You’re almost dome princess. Almost there”

You both agreed on a water delivery so he had gotten you the best most expensive pool possible. By the time the doula got there you had been in active labor for about 4’hours now. She did be usual check up for heart rate and dilation, you were only at 3 cm at that moment do you had some ways to go.

He’d would walk around the house with you, hand your hands while you used the yoga ball or tried to distract you with some singing, which at one point worked very well. After some strong waves he’d wipe you tears away and give you some water

“I know princess, but you did so good. So strong” he knew his words could have only so much effect on the situation but he was doing everything he was able to do for you. He helps get you in the pool and used a small towel to wash warm water down your back.

“We’re super close babe…what do you think it’s gonna be?” You wanted the sex to be a surprise and you were back and forth with old wives tales

“Mm, I’m still thinking it’s a boy” you said letting your head rest on the edge of the inflatable pool

“Really a Boy? I thought you would have wanted another copy of yourself” he smiles

“A copy of you would be so cute though” you try and smile

“But a copy of you would be perfect. Either way, I’m just so happy they’re finally coming”

Then it’s time for the hardest part 🙃

"Ready baby...push..you got it 1..2..3..4.."

"That was a good push baby, good job"

"I gotchu, I'm right here baby. Good, good..you're doing so good"

Doesn't care about the screaming and if anything he encourages you to while you push. Is very surprised and kinds scared at the grip you had on his hand, but that was the least of his worries.

Entire labor took about 8 hours and ended by the night with about 5 pushes and now you had a beautiful baby boy. lots of crying, Noah cant stop kissing and thanking you. He's just watching you be a mom and he can't look away and he can't wipe the smile off his face.

"He's so perfect princess, he's got your nose"

While he was being weighed and measured Noah helped you get out of the tub and into the shower. He helped get you cleaned up and dressed. After your son was cleaned and swaddled he was brought to you both for some skin to skin and feeding.

It was so intimate, you weren't rushed and didn't have doctors interrupting every hour or so

"You did so good princess...he's perfect "

"Well you were here too, and you did great supporting me. Thank you" you look up at him

"I am at your beck and call, but really you did all the hard work. I'm so proud of you"

[twirlybumblevee]

Pointers on how to respond to a victim trusting you with their story

After everything that's happened over the past week, I figured I'd offer something constructive and share some of the things I learned while I prepared for and then volunteered as a first responder / consultant for victims of all kind (not just sexual) for a few years. Just in case someone else here might ever be in that sort of situation, since it can be quite overwhelming.

While I do believe that what I'm writing down is quite helpful (at least from my own experience), this isn't the "full whole truth" that applies on every single situation, because - and that's sort of also my first point:

Every situation is different. No two stories are exactly the same, so never try and apply one case to another. Everyone deserves to be heard for themselves.

If anyone comes to you with their story (and I'm not exculding non-sexual violence or other traumatic events here), see it as a huge sign of trust. In the overwhelming amount of cases, to speak up about something traumatic that has happened to someone is incredibly hard and difficult, and if they open up to you, try and treat it and them with care and consideration. (It can get very overwhelming depending on the story, so remember to take care of yourself too.)

Your job is to offer understanding, empathy, and a safe space for the other person to talk about whatever they're ready to talk about, in their own words. Remember: It's not about you, it's about them. That means no pushing for details out of curiosity, no leading questions (an example for this would be "how did you feel?" instead of "did you feel scared/disgusted/uncomfortable/etc?"), and no telling them what they should do.

The thing you can do is to offer (because if they came to you, chances are they might be looking for help - or only an open ear). Depending on the situation (and also country, let's be real), that can mean a whole lot of things, small and big. Offer to be there to listen if they need it. Offer to take them to the hospital. Offer them distractions. Offer them sympathy and understanding. Even resources, if you're in place to offer them, for example a place to stay for the night. Offer them your help in finding professional help (because remember: you are not a professional. You can and should never replace the work of a legal consultant, therapist, doctor or the like.)

Again remember: Take care of your own mental health. You can only help so far. And if you (and them) turn anywhere, your first stop should always be a professional - not the internet.

In an ideal case, you will be able to get outside help. It might take a long time, for many of the reasons mentioned above, and more. Being ready to talk to you doesn't mean they're ready to talk to a therapist, or go to the police, or any of the sort, even in apparently very clear cut cases. Even if something happened years ago though, it can be worth getting active. It's definitely NEVER too late to get psychological help.

Some countries have initiatives that offer financial compensation to victims (because it is your government's duty to protect you from harm, and if they couldn't do that, they will at least compensate you - that's the idea). That can mean a number of things like paying for (mental and physical) therapy, operations, special aids for your home, and so on. People might not want to take advantage of these, because it can be a draining and mentally taxing process to apply for them. (Because of course, as the real world works, there will be a lot of questions about the hows and whys and whats.) It is good to know that these options might exist though. (This particular bit is heavily drawing reference from Germany, where I know for a fact that this government initiative exists. Pretty much any country has initiatives that offer professional help in all kinds of ways, especially for female victims.)

This is what I can think of right now. If I think of more, I might add on to this, but it's long enough as it is. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I hope this is a little helpful to at least some people here. :)

-- Vee

[thisisthinprivilege]

ANONYMOUS PLEASE <3 I’m at my wit’s end with my mother. I wanted to complain about her fatphobia, and I also wanted to you thank you for how reading here has helped me and my sisters. 

I’m a small fat in my 40s. I’ve been a bigger fat, and I’ve also been very, very skinny. I developed anorexia at about age 6 due to the usual issues one develops that from and was thinner than thin until I finally started to actually recover. I got very fat very quickly on the drugs I was put on, then dropped down in size to small fat once I stabilized and didn’t need them. No idea what my “comfortable” or “natural” size would have been without so much damage, but I’m going to guess “about this”, since it’s what I am when I’m neither restricting to the point of heart damage, nor on drugs that also made me sick in many other ways. For me, a comfortable size is the size I have when I’m not actively altering it in ways that hurt me, so I’m not going to question it.

My next younger sister, however, is a bigger fat, and pretty much always has been. In her 30s, she’s fat in a way that does restrict her clothing options and employment (she once told me that an interviewer had given her “feedback” on a job interview, and it was that she looked “sloppy”. She was wearing perfectly nice, clean, pressed, professional clothes- and expensive clothes of course, as that’s the rule for bigger clothes as we know. She was just fat in them.) Being “healthy” doesn’t really matter to this - and indeed if it did I wouldn’t have half of this rant - but she is. Fit and strong, great at physical things like endurance sports in a way I never have been. She is also perhaps the most self-aware and level-headed person I have ever met about stuff like this. When what people say bothers her, she will discuss her feelings and not try to hide them or their impact, but she will also deconstruct, and conclude that what the person has said is stupid. So it’s like she neither tries to pretend she’s immune to harm, nor allows others to be right in hurting her. 

And she eats exactly what she wants, and since we’re both autistic this also includes pickiness on sensory stuff - she doesn’t eat what she doesn’t want to, and does eat what she does. She was a great person to be around during my recovery, even though I never even mentioned to her at the time that I was in it (I didn’t tell anyone in my family about it until years later,) just because she made food such a non-issue. 

And our mother will not shut up about her size. Our mother is also fat, we’re a fat family, but my mother decided years ago that I am the one to make my sister “address her weight.” I literally left the country to get away from my family (not related to this specifically) and she STILL emails me about it. I don’t respond to those emails. I DO have lovely chats with my beloved sister on Skype though. 

I have tried all your scripts with my mom before - the team here have SO many great scripts that have worked wonderfully for me in other situations, like work or friend groups. I have told my mother I don’t agree, many times backed up with sources (sources thanks to you!) I have told her I’m not interested in the conversation and have hung up or walked away when she has persisted. I’ve called her out when she tries it on in public on multiple occasions. She will not stop. She is convinced that my extremely wonderful, fit and thriving, very happy sister is at death’s door. She’s also convinced that I, a person who has been repeatedly hospitalized for ED and the mental complications that caused it (which she now knows all about, and in fact did visit me in hospital the last time I was in, which was only a few years ago by the way) am the person to talk to her about it and make her see the error of her ways. My sister and I talk quite openly about this, and we’re both agreed our mother is full of shit and we’ll both be ignoring this. We both have also decided to persist in having a relationship with her, though with BIG boundaries around it. (Trust me, this fat bullshit is the thin edge of the wedge with her, and we’re both VERY exacting about when we will talk to her and what about. But we also both love our mother, and she’s the only parent we have.) The thing I’m most struggling with I think is that as I said, our mother is also fat. I actually feel some real sympathy here as I’m aware she’s clearly projecting her own issues on both of her daughters, but god is it mean. She couldn’t see how sick I was when I was skinny, even though I was very literally beginning to die (in fact, all she had to say to me was to mention my weight when I got fat) and she can’t see how happy my sister is in her life, because she’s fat so can’t possibly be happy, and she’s still, now, as perhaps some last gasp of control, attempting to make us fight each other over it. 

It hasn’t worked, thankfully, and it never will.

My mom has many other issues, I’m sure, but my god, it is sometimes quite astounding to look at what hell fatphobia hath wrought on my mom’s psyche and ideas of being a parent. I’m grateful my sister(s) and I instead read blogs like this so we’ll hopefully pass a lot less of this on. So I guess this rant is half a complaint and half a thanks. It’s been really helpful to be able to come here and read, for both of us (and our younger sisters as well, who we are steadily converting), to remind ourselves that mom’s wrong. My sister is fat and an exceptional person. I’m fat now too, and the world didn’t end (and in fact actually got a lot better.) Our mom is just plain fucking wrong.    Anyway, thank you. I know you’re not planning to be as active with new posts lately, but please know that you’ve been wonderful this whole time, and keeping your archives up is of immense help to at least this one group of sisters. It's been awesome to relay one of the younger ones to an older post from time to time (actually quite a few times!) Note: I wanted to tag ED as I do mention it but I don't see it in the list of tags under submission. I tagged "trigger warning", "Weightloss", and "food" to hopefully cover it. 

Apologies for the first post of this.

[msperfectsheep-posts]

Ask Meme

I was tagged by @rosencrantzsguildenstern for this ask meme, so why not!

Do you make your bed?

Uhhhh well. Sort of. I definitely make it any time I expect I'm going to have company, but on a weekday when I'm the only one in my dorm room? Nah. I didn't make it when I had a roommate either unless I thought she was going to have company (but she never warned me in advance for that so LMAO)

What's your favorite number?

I'm a lucky 7 kind of gal, but I also really jive with 36 and 81. My factors of 9 <3 <3 <3 If I have to pick one, it's always going to be 7 though

What is your job?

Right now, I work for the US Department of Agriculture! I've worked some other random jobs though, such as a waitress at a high-end retirement home and an assistant at a local hospital

If you could go back to school, would you?

Yes. Absolutely. I would reduce how many classes I take (because haha I am at 22 credit hours right now :')) but I love learning! I don't love all the pomp and circumstance of academia, but I've considered becoming a teacher several times as a career option and I actually have taught in a professional setting before. School's a love of mine that even all the stresses I've put myself through hasn't fully been killed

Can you parallel park?

Yep! My city almost never requires it because it's a newer one and street parking is only really used in our tiny downtown or in neighborhoods, but I can do it!

A job you had that would surprise people?

Uhhhh I think my current job is that, LOL! But even then, once I explain the details of my job, people seem to think it fits me pretty well :)

Do you think aliens are real?

I think that somewhere in space, there's something that could be considered life, but we can't agree if viruses are living, so I doubt that whatever could be "life" in another part of space would fit our current definitions! Evolution is already fucked enough as is, so accidentally going down any path that resembles what happened on Earth feels pretty unlikely to me

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes! I practiced with my grandpa's old car, though I also stalled a few times LOL so I'm not GOOD, but I can do it! With more practice I think I would be fine

What's your guilty pleasure?

I'm not really sure? I'm not really guilty about any of my pleasures because they're all pretty vanilla? In my household it's definitely mayo though. No one in my household likes mayo and I usually have to deal with Bullying of the highest degree if I want to use it when I'm eating with my sister and parents

Tattoos?

Nope! And I don't want to get them either. I have an irrational thing of permanently adding things to my body to the point where I had a surgery to remove a part of my flesh instead of having a tiny metal rod inserted in me. Tattoos are filed under the same "body modification" ick mentally

Favorite Color?

A soft lilac! I also really like the darker, desaturated greens, but purple is my eternal love

Favorite type of music?

Things that lean more into the rock side of things! I like harsher sounds, faster tempos, that sort of thing, but also my music taste is literally all over the place. It really really REALLY is a case-by-case basis but if I had to say anything, most Paramore songs are ones I love

Do you like puzzles?

It depends on the puzzle! I like logic and math puzzles, and mysteries are fun as well, but a jigsaw is something I'll only really do if I'm with friends or exceedingly bored

Any phobias?

Well, there's that body modification one I mentioned earlier! I also have an irrational fear of beetles and an even more irrational fear of specifically dropping a kitchen knife into my foot! Yowch!

Favorite childhood sport?

I didn't really play sports as a kid, but if I had to pick one, probably swimming? My current favorite sport is definitely dancing, though (folk and ballroom!)

Do you talk to yourself?

Yep! I use both the singular and plural first person pronouns "I" and "We" when I talk to myself. Generally, I use "I" when I'm more passively thinking, and "We" when I'm being metacognizant.

What movie(s) do you adore?

Back to the Future (1985) by Robert Zemekis my BELOVED!!!! I cannot recommend it enough, and I made a quote from it my senior quote in high school. I also really love The Sixth Sense (1999) and Tangled (2010)

Coffee or tea?

Tea, as I have yet to ever drink coffee! But when I drink my tea, I like it unsweetened and iced

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

First thing I remember was, ironically, a teacher! Some things don't change <3

I'm gonna tag @riinsanity @0mega-x @koi0boi @always-a-joyful-note and @yukimomodivorce but anyone can join in!

[charred-angel-ribs]

I'm nearing the end of my third (3rd) full watch through of Hannibal, and I love the show so dearly. I love going on about the writing and symbolism and the acting and every little bit that makes it so good as a show.

But I feel like it's only fair to talk about the flaws as well, so, I gotta say it: I don't like Molly's character.

I think she could have been a good character, but for some reason she just doesn't feel well written. Her character feels very shallow (not like a shallow personality, but shallow as in not developed). Like a filler character for the sake of pushing a narrative, rather than an actual person involved in the story.

We don't really get to know much about Molly, but from what we do see of her, she comes across as an NPC almost. As if she's saying what she does just for the sake of it.

She gets Will to go back to working with Jack, which implies she either is completely unaware of how bad things were and what happened, or that she knows but doesn't care/understand properly. Now, either of these are viable options for a character, but the way it's done just seems to lack any sort of reasoning or feeling.

When she talks about it, both with Jack and Will, her dialogue feels like it's written just for the sake of pushing a narrative. It doesn't feel like there's any sort of drive or emotion behind what she's saying. She objects a little with "You're gonna take him either way" to Jack, but the way it's done just sounds like she's saying it for the sake of "Oh but I didn't want him to, I tried to convince Jack otherwise".

It doesn't feel reasonable for her character. From what we see, Molly and Will seem to have a healthy relationship, and they do seem to actually care about eachother (though even that isn't written very well), so it doesn't make sense that she wouldn't care - in fact, I would argue she would care a lot. But she doesn't seem to?

Not just with Will going back, but about the consequences too. After Molly and Walter's incident with Dolarhyde, it shows Molly in a hospital bed talking to Will. She barely seems phased by it. The most emotion we see her express over the matter is "My son almost died. I almost died." said very calmly, then proceeded by a sigh and "Man, I got mad there for a second."

Like, I'm sorry? What do you mean "I got mad there a second"? She should be way more shaken up by that. Like she just said, she and her son not only almost died, but were almost killed. By the guy Will's after, because the man who manipulated him for so long decided to sick him on Will's family as a way of further manipulating him now that he's back.

Yes, she does call Hannibal out with "I knew it was him," but that's it. She deserves to get angry, she should get angry. Or scared, or annoyed, or upset, something. The fact that she's so calm about it all makes it feel very superficial, like they just had her there to push things along and that's it.

And alongside Molly's character's poor writing, Will's line of "I'm just about tired of you crazy sons of bitches." feels wildly out of character, not only for Will but for the whole show. Will is not, at any point in the show (to my memory and knowledge), known to make any sort of ableist remarks or use any sort of ableist language - in fact, I don't think anyone does. The closest it gets is when Chilton uses outdated terms to refer to Gideon (if I remember correctly).

The whole show is very respectful (in my opinion) of neurodivergent and mentally ill people, especially considering it's a large part of its horror aspect. I view Hannibal as proof that you can have media whose horror aspect is neurodivergence/mentall illness, without it being ableist. In fact, at the beginning of the show, we see Will talking to Jack about how he doesn't like that Jack made a museum about serial killers and named it the "Evil Minds Museum". A lot of mental illnesses are villainised and considered "evil", and Will was outwardly objecting to that.

So for Will to just walk into Hannibal's room and say that feels like a curveball and a half. It doesn't feel natural. Will has never been known to say things like that, and whenever he and Hannibal communicate, it's never that aggressively blunt; there's always some layer of poeticism and subtext to carry the words forward. But even so, Will doesn't really talk like that with anybody??

I don't know, maybe I'm just missing something, or misinterpreting something. This is just how it came across for me. I'd love to hear someone else's thoughts on this. /lh /gen

[thewindowsystem]

Woooooo psychiatry hot take time!!!

I'm just gonna say it, I'm pro (educated) self diagnosis atleast to a degree, although my reasons don't apply to all places in the world so keep that in mind.

I come from a country with a massive issue with a lack of medical professionals ESPECIALLY in my city, it's not uncommon to find hospitals that are dangerously understaffed, the only hospital in my city of almost one million people has one emergency unit with typically only around 9 people and the wait times for urgent care on the LEAST busy days are 9-10 hours if you're lucky. And for any kind of medical problem physical or mental even if you have money for something like specialised care you will still most likely have to go a two day drive just to find someone who isn't fully booked. People are dying because of this crisis even those on disability insurance and nothing is really being done about it.

I was born sick and have been going through this medical system my entire life, and another issue I have noticed due to that is incredibly wide spread because in my country especially, doctors are basically being taught they shouldn't believe afab people who are looking for help. It is to a point where 1 third of the afab people who have managed to finally get a booking in with a doctor, some travelling for litteral days just for some kind of help have been dismissed or straight up turned away due to sexism. The likely hood of being turned away increases significantly if you are POC.

People often forget that diagnosis isn't an end goal, it's not just a label for the sake of a label, it's a tool. A tool to help you navigate and approach recovery. And yes the ideal situation is to have a good doctor who can help you navigate that process but unfortunately that's not the case for all of us. Through educated self diagnosis (often through years of constant study) as a afab POC I managed to accurately and safely self medicate for pretty much all of my current diagnosed conditions on average 5 years before I managed to get a doctor to even CONSIDER checking. (The only acception to this is ADHD because I was like 7 when I got that diagnosis)

I'm sick of seeing people getting lectured for trying to help their selves in the time being because currently medical care isn't available to them. I hate the idea that you shouldn't even try digging into your mental health problems or even recognise they exist until you get the magical approval of a medical professional because speaking from experience those ideas HELD ME BACK in my recovery because I thought that researching my issues automatically made me a faker and when I did finally get a psychologist and they asked if I already had an idea of what the issue was I refused to give them any of my own extensive work I had done myself that could have sped up my diagnostic process tenfold. Even though the effects of self medicating have been incredibly beneficial to my recovery previously

Obviously you need to approach it safely and carefully, you definitely shouldn't try and speak for or over people who are clinically diagnosed etc but I feel like the idea that self diagnosis is inherently harmful 100% of the time is flawed and although yes you will undeniably get things wrong while trying to self medicate so do the actual medical professionals themselves! It's apart of the process and I do recognise how beneficial having a professional to help you is (and if you have the option to do that you definitely should) but I feel like it's rather damaging to brush off those who don't have access too those recourses and simply insist they just deal with it.

Honestly self diagnosis and self medicating saved my life by not only giving me something to hold on and work on while waiting to get medical care but it is the entire reason why I am clinically diagnosed today

Obviously this isn't a data filled analysis on the effects of self diagnosis this is just my opinion mainly rooted from my own life experience so don't take it as some factual information piece please. I might make a continuation to this if anyone has any questions about my thoughts on the topic.

[lakesbian]

Train Guys in Worm: Presuming all the train passengers Could Trigger, and presuming that their crossroads moment either IS or is CLOSE TO their Trigger, what powers do you think they'd get?

oh damn i guess there is train/worm crossover! win for me (guy who was obsessed w/ train right before i got Into into worm).

obligatory disclaimer: these are all just what i think are The Coolest Options, not firmly set in one universe or the other. just roll with any discrepancies/take them as they are. this is gonna be long, and i'm not in the mood to concept-edit for internal logic.

[cracks knuckles]

tulip: too much of a support system, not at enough of a low, can't trigger

lake: escaped case 53. brute 5, thinker 3 - made entirely of an unknown highly-reflective metal. exceedingly high breaking and melting points. weighs approx. 1,000 pounds. is only about as strong as an athletic 13yo girl, but, like...if that athletic 13yo girl couldn't feel pain or physical exertion and was also capable of throwing 1,000 lbs of body weight around. running on "has enough adrenaline to lift a car off a trapped family member" physical capability 24/7. doesn't need to eat, drink, or breathe. - unconscious minor precog presenting itself as particularly strong mental impulses towards decisionmaking which minimizes the chances of harm coming to her. this functions largely as a defensive combat thinking ability--if she could climb up that nearby pipe to dodge containment foam and then land an elbow slam from it, she's gonna get the idea to do it. very good at "coincidentally" stumble-dodging a power she's never seen in use before by an inch. this adds a solid point or two to her brute rating because of how effectively it enables her to throw her weight around and avoid attacks. she occasionally gets impulses towards what the next steps she could take in a plan to avoid large-scale/impending danger are, but there's not necessarily a guarantee the entire plan will work out--it's just a nudge onto the right path. (think the many times she dodges a sander by an inch in canon + her getting the idea to go to the engine despite having no idea what she'll do when she gets there.)

my sweet sweet SWEET darling boy whom i love jesse: pressures his little brother into doing Something dangerous his shithead friends think will be funny. it goes bad, and nate is sent to the hospital with some serious injuries. panicked, guilty, and terrified that he still doesn't feel prepared to drop the masks he puts up, jesse runs away from home. he runs into his shithead friends, makes a poor attempt to stand up to them & tell them off, and that goes bad as well. when they turn on him, it quickly becomes both devastatingly mentally and physically dangerous. the worst part is that, in the moment, he doesn't wish that he had been better at standing up to them. instead, he wishes that he had just been better at pleasing them, better at finding a way to keep everyone happy with him. trigger.

master, threat rating pending. anyone jesse perceives as needing to like him--whether because they're a physical threat, or simply a threat to his deep insecurities--will begin perceiving him as a friend, with the nature of this perceived friendship adjusting to be indiscernible from how it would appear if it had arisen naturally. this is an ironic reflection of what caused him to trigger in the first place: everyone likes him, but no one likes him for him.

the power is uncontrollable and always on. he is not aware of how it functions, and currently retains his typical desperate people-pleasing behavior.

alan dracula: the PRT thought that the weird deer was jesse's master minion. as it turns out, it's not. in fact, nobody has any fucking idea what it is. there are some theories that it's a really fucked up case 53, but...as anyone in-the-know knows, cauldron has no idea what the fuck that thing is, either. in fact, all signs point to it genuinely being a minutely-smarter-than-average regular deer, but with superpowers. the PRT has given it another name, but jesse and lake loudly insist that his name is alan dracula. alan dracula cares about 1. grass and 2. jesse and lake, in that order. jesse and lake do not at any point explain when or how they met alan dracula. attempts to probe into His Deal are met with a very condescending explanation that he's a deer, and also their friend. this is not because he's using any sort of memory or behavior altering power on them--he's just a deer, he has no reason to do all that.

changer 12 (trump 12, blaster 12, stranger 12, brute 12, mover 12). alan dracula could kill an endbringer. alan dracula isn't going to kill an endbringer, because there's no grass involved. alan dracula only ever releases a fraction of his power, and for this, we should all be grateful.

(i maintain that there's literally no possible way to good-faith translate alan dracula into worm without going this route. if you wormify train characters and you don't make alan dracula a weird fucking deer, you're doing it wrong. alan dracula could beat the shit out of contessa, i don't give a fuck. he's alan dracula.)

grace: her life was going great, right up until she met hazel and started changing. reconsidering things. it hurt when tuba died. she feels like she's desperately spinning plates, trying not to drop any, trying to keep simon happy and hazel safe. it starts taking more lies, more manipulation, just to keep the most basic social interaction going smoothly. she almost thinks she has it, thinks she can make room in her life for hazel without having to give up the apex. but then, without really thinking, she lashes out at hazel to keep simon happy. she didn't realize how horrible it would be until the words had already left her mouth. and then, in the midst of her confusion with herself, hazel leaves. she couldn't live up to any of the roles she was playing. she was trying so hard to be what simon expected, but now she's realizing she can't live up to it--and she doesn't want to live up to it. she dropped all the plates, and there's nothing left for her in the shards. she's watching hazel leave, sobbing, feeling simon stare at the back of her head with raw hatred. trigger.

changer 5 (stranger 3, master 6). ability to alternate between a silver, highly translucent form w/ a face akin to a tragedy mask and a metallic, solidified golden form w/ a face akin to a comedy mask. - in the silver form, people are simply inclined to find her boring, and this is aided by the fact that she's made near entirely see-through. people looking at her feel like they've been watching paint dry for the last hour. trying to remember her long enough to communicate her location feels similarly uninteresting. this feeling of boredom is also mentally parsed as a completely normal reaction, making it difficult to rationally recognize it as a sign to call her out--people experiencing it have a tendency to simply start paying attention to something else, instead. - in the gold form, she's unreasonably interesting. praise from her feels superhumanly good. it's like you're a little kid and she's your favorite person in the whole world, your biggest idol, compelling you to do just a little favor for a pat on the head. she's gorgeous and sweet and you want to do whatever she asks of you. (this is the weakest one, imo, probably because i just made it up on the spot. i Don't Love It and would appreciate alternate suggestions from anyone else familiar w/ her character. it might count as breaker states instead, but i don't think so? who gives a shit. anyway yeah if anyone has an idea for how best to get smth out of the identity struggles + unwanted attention from simon + isolation/betrayal while stirring a bit of cult leader swag into it Let Me Know. my idea does nooot ironically tragically reinforce her issues enough!)

simon: grace was everything he had. they were a team. they were grace and simon. for ten years, it was them versus the train. and then she starts acting weird. normally, they communicate in effortless, unspoken code--but now she's sending off smoke signals he doesn't know how to read. she keeps telling him to hold off on killing the gorilla null for no good reason, and sometimes he swears it feels like she and the new kid are a team versus him. he watches her memory tape to get to the bottom of it, and--yes. she's been lying to him. throwing away everything they built for a null. trigger.

master 6. has the ability to generate a single, extremely strong, and extremely agile brute minion. it looks like an abstracted ballerina with locs and a golden mask. it is, transparently, a replacement for grace. a regracement, if you will. this is the grace in his head, the grace he's placed on a pedestal, the real grace that would scoff at the void that fell from that pedestal when she lied to him. it doesn't speak, because he never really cared to listen. the important part is that, unlike grace, it can never think to leave him.

ryan & min-gi: not sure! i know they'd both realistically trigger separately, but i do like the idea of a cluster trigger for them. they're assigned soulmates at train via the same numbers, i wanna see them assigned kiss cluster dynamic at worm. my main barrier here is that i'm struggling to think of a compelling cluster trigger event + fun music-themed powers. (are two person clusters even a thing? i have not read ward nor will i read ward.) suggestions welcomed.

amelia: amelia is a very smart, talented engineer. she has been since she was a little girl. and she's still spent her entire life getting fucked over by misogyny. her parents and her teachers trying to coerce her into doing things little girls should be doing, her college professors favoring their male students over her, the men in her workplace feeling threatened by her and discriminating in response. the only thing she has going for her is alrick, her fiance. he's impressed by her, treats her as an equal, he sees her in a way no one else does. he stands up for her. he was awed by her work as a child, stood with her in college, works at the same place as her and does his best to make it better for her. she loves him more than anyone. and then he gets into an awful accident and languishes for days in the hospital. she feels like her heart and head are going to explode, watching him lie there. she needs his support. but he dies anyway, and she realizes she doesn't know how to live without her person. she's about ready to go jump off the roof of their old college, and then--trigger.

tinker 10. amelia can build pockets in reality, and she can build entire worlds-in-miniature in those pockets. every pocket world has an entrance to the outside in the form of a red door w/ a golden handle, indestructible and immovable. she can build denizens for those worlds, and those denizens can reproduce. the only guiding rules for her worlds are: - although they're based on elements from reality, they're easier to build the more divorced from reality are, and significantly more difficult to build the more realistic they are. - attempts to intentionally design a car--particularly a realistic one--vs letting her instincts take the lead inevitably result in elements from her unconscious leaking into it. turtles are particularly common, and it bothers her that she can't figure out what object from her subconscious is causing it. - she cannot build people. the more humanoid a denizen appears, the more difficult it is to make.

despite the above, she has furiously dedicated herself to attempting to rebuild a better version of her old life, alrick included. she's stolen a wealth of tinkertech in the hopes that something will help her overcome her limitations. her violent methods of doing so, and her refusal to stop making self-replicating denizens, quickly landed her a kill order. she doesn't care. she has everything to gain and nothing to lose.

the last anyone heard of her, she'd sealed herself in a pocket world and locked the door behind her. all attempts to open the door from the outside have proved fruitless. it remains under perpetual watch. no one wants to find out what she's been making in there, or what she plans to do if, or when, she emerges.

cape name suggestions also welcome for all of these. will be real i am not very good at coming up w/ cape names. compelled by "Your New Best Friend" for jesse--i love clunky, long-ass cape names--and something w/ 'killed god and took his place' connotations for amelia. just straight up "deicide"? who knows.