#feel free to share your thoughts!! i'm coming at this from the perspective of someone playing laura in a local production

[animalceramics]

In my new Holy Trinity fic, I'm revisiting my HC of young Daniel being bad at sex.

I'll share a relevant excerpt below and then a bit of meta fic analysis, for anyone who may be interested.

Minor spoilers for chapter 2 of Daniel's Minion below.

It’s a shock to tune into Daniel's mind and find him nowhere near orgasm. In fact, he’s barely feeling it at all. Sure, he’s brimming with sensory input, but it’s got the tactile nuance of white noise. It’s a cacophony of motion, noise and adrenaline, but with none of those tight little hooks of pleasure that pull you along and have you chasing, moving this way and that, a slave to the body’s overwhelming instinct to seek pleasure and release.

Instead, what’s happening in his body feels like an endurance exercise of relentless exertion, like jogging on the treadmill, limbs on automatic pilot.. but instead of being similarly disassociated from his thoughts, the boy's internal dialogue is incessant; is this what he wanted? Is it good? Am I being too loud? He likes it loud, right? Does he? He must do. What else does he want? Does it look good? Is this how he does it for him? Should I slow down? No. Keep going. Will he want it like before? Should I do that instead? What does that look mean? Why is he looking at me like that? What did I do wrong? Fuck. What -’

---

I imagine that 70's Daniel has a very performative element to the way he, well, performs - in bed. Starting with his encounters at Mary's, he's playing a part (for them? for himself?). His sexual activities there are not authentically focused on his own pleasure or even an authentic expression of what he really desired.

Even with Armand, I think in the early days, Daniel was perhaps made to feel like something to be observed and studied, played with and analysed, rather than someone who could enjoy things for his own sake, in a mutually beneficial way. The power dynamic is always weighted so heavily against him. And that has connotations here.

I think in some ways it's easier for a Daniel in his twenties, who doesn't know himself so well yet, and is drawn to the stronger characters and desires of others, to give them this performance - of what they want - rather than ask himself that same question.

To find that out, I think you have to feel free from judgement, able to lose that self-conscious internal voice or eye from the ceiling that is viewing how you look or talk or move etc. from your partner's perspective.

You also have to feel supported and treated with respect, as an equal, like your partner genuinely cares about your needs as much as their own. He wouldn't get that from casual hook-ups and Armand at this time would fail at these points too.

I also write young Daniel as not great at speaking up or out for himself sexually, which might seem OOC, he's the most outspoken yapper ever, right? But the thing is, when it comes to this, I don't think he necessarily knows how to ask for specifics, or something like a break or to even say not tonight or whatever. He has the threat from Armand, I'll stay interested in you as long as you stay interesting. There's a pressure to fuck yes, but also to 'perform'. Armand de director likes a show.

I also get the impression Daniel's self-esteem was pretty low at this time. Does he even value or care about himself enough to feel he deserves this? Would he be able to handle it if it was actually given?

Another reason he doesn't get to work on his sexual communication with Armand is that, with the mind gift, he kind of doesn't need to. A point I have oldvampDaniel make to him in this fic is - there is more to sex and your sexuality than Armand, or there needs to be. You need to be safe. You need to advocate for yourself, with him yes, but most certainly with others. Daniel's dick could/has/will lead him into some potentially dangerous situations.

In the previous installment of this series (Betamax) I described a couple of Daniel & Armand's vintage sex tapes. Aside from the fun of writing the unhinged smut of it all, it was also me presenting very literally this concept of young Daniel as Armand's to direct and control sexually. He's instructing him, directing him and recording him in a couple of very contrived scenarios where Daniel has very limited control. (Specifically, Daniel being tied up and used by a dominatrix and Armand, and then being recorded and 'forced' to masturbate on camera for Armand with orgasm denial etc).

Because this series gives me the interesting opportunity to write Daniel & Armand sex in both the past and present, I can compare and contrast, and explore this more. When I show Daniel & Armand in the present day, BDSM and power play is 100% their thing, but now it's different. It switches and the switching is often the best bit, part of the play and the fun and the joy.

I love the characterisation of vampDaniel where he is now, as an older man, as a vampire - confident and powerful, he knows himself now and he's owning and having fun with all that entails, including the way he fucks!

All of that was a very long way of me saying, this current fic is a fun way for me to literally put young Daniel and old Daniel together and force them to talk about (and fuck about) all this mess. Plus, the whole concept of making literal the - getting to know yourself and explore your own sexuality thing - hard to resist.

Young Daniel: Bad at sex?

I’m writing a new fic, set in the San Francisco stalking/obsession phase of Daniel/Armand’s relationship. In the latest chapter Daniel picks up a girl from a bar. The comments on the chapter really made me laugh. Specifically:

I’ve actually given an inappropriately large amount of thought on why I portrayed him as bad at sex here (and of course it’s something that will change/develop through the story via his interactions with Armand).

So here is my own HC on why Young Daniel is a bit shit in bed..

I was inspired by how he conducts himself in the interview with Louis in the show. Like he won't shut up, he's talking over him, he's only really focused on his own interpretation of the story, not listening to what Louis is actually saying or appreciating his feelings. I applied all that to his bedroom moves.

Also young Daniel is extremely attractive and charismatic, so I don't think he has to work that hard for it or put in so much effort if he is not inclined to do so. Here he is not inclined. He’s very distracted and he’s using this girl as a way to not think about his stalking situation.

I also wanted to draw some parallels between what Armand is doing or will do to Daniel and things Daniel himself does to others. Specifically that he is also very curious about people in (maybe) a sort of detached way and can use that insight to manipulate others to get what he wants. I think part of why A/D work so well is that they are very similar, sometimes in quite dark ways.

Because this story is very strictly from Daniel’s POV, I’m not able to show Armand’s internal thought process or motivations. So I'll share a bit of it here instead; There is the ‘must find out why this boy is fascinating’ thing from the episode, BUT I think he’s using that more as an excuse or distraction. Distracting from the shit-show with Louis, the things thrown at him in that argument, the fact Louis chose death over him (his words) etc.

Stalking and obsessing about Daniel gives him that distraction, just as in this fic, Daniel uses the girl from the bar. It gives them both a sense of control and power, something they’ve both just taken a hit on.

My additional HC for young Daniel regarding who he is sexually, is that he doesn’t really know himself that way yet (not many of us do at that age I suppose). He’s happier being led by others or adapting to their wishes (he was ready to jump in that coffin!) and he’s needy for approval, so that’s an easy way to feel ‘successful’ at sex i.e. by giving the other person what you think they want. This is obviously not helped by the way he uses/sees sex as transactional at Mary’s. My whole thinking is that Daniel actually doesn’t really know what HE wants yet. That applies doubly to sex with men because he is perhaps not being honest about his motivations for that.

I’m going to expand and develop all these ideas over the course of the story, as Armand directly challenges him on a lot of it. But of course he doesn’t do it in a nice romantic safe or sane way, because that’s not who they are to each other here, it’s in more of the psychosexual torture way. It’s the early devil’s minion brand and I subscribe happily to it.

Anyway if you want to enjoy Daniel being bad at hetero sex it’s in chapter 3..

[wolverinedoctorwho]

been thinking about what The Glass Menagerie would be like if it was set in 2023.

Laura's life would probably be the most dramatically improved. She could deal with her social anxiety by just. Making friends online. She could have a discord boyfriend. She could find a job or get a degree online. She would have a tumblr blog called "blueroses" with the title "My Glass Menagerie" that was just pictures of her glass figures and occasionally an audio post with a song from one of her dad's records (or cassettes, or CDs, or whatever).

Amanda...honestly there's like a 50/50 chance she wound wind up in a pyramid scheme, considering the whole "selling magazine subscriptions" thing. But I feel like she'd still worry about her kids finding their place in the world. She'd worry about Laura not spending enough time outside, maybe she'd have some reservations about finding Laura a husband IRL. Maybe she'd get onto Tom for being on that damn phone so much.

For Tom, in this au i'm imagining him still working his minimum-wage job, but rather than writing poems on shoeboxes he's got a blog or something to post them on. Maybe even a niche following. Honestly not much of his life would change, because the whole "working a dead-end job, living with my family, desperate to go out on my own" thing is uh. Pretty timeless. Even when he leaves at the end (we're assuming the events of the play still happen as they originally did, even if the circumstances are different) it's not quite as sad, because Amanda and Laura have a better chance at supporting themselves than women would have back then.

Jim's a weird one because I feel like his life would also stay the same, except since we're setting this in 2023 he DEFINITELY has a self-help/positivity/motivational instagram. Wannabe influencer vibes. Despite the fact that he is working at the same place Tom is, but higher up the chain (like a manager or something). Dude totally has a podcast.

Nothing needs to change with Mr. Wingfield. People still work for telephone companies and run out on their families.

The fact that social media would exist in this AU does allow for some interesting commentary. Maybe Tom has a twitter where he posts his poems? Maybe Laura got cyberbullied in high school? How would the added visibility and connection to the world affect the Wingfields, whose suffering is largely due to how isolated they are in the original play? How would the lessened limitations on women in the workplace today compared to the 20s-30s affect the plot?

(Projecting my own interests here but I also think she would relate to Bocchi the Rock. Puking on the floor on your first day of typing class 🤝 performing your first concert in a cardboard box and regularly climbing into trash cans.)

[may-stuff]

a friend in need. - fc43

summary: you've been best friends for almost your entire lives. who is he to deny you some help when you need it the most?

warnings: afab!reader, masturbation, oral sex (m), dirty talking, unprotected sex, creampie || typos and grammatical mistakes because english is not my first language and I'm a little stupid. also, this isn't great in any way so please don't be mean, thank u.

word count: 6.6k approx.

a/n: please please please, if you read this and you like it at least a little bit, please interact with it. If I don't get notifications I die 🥀

In the loneliness of your bedroom, you can't help but let your mind wander. Surrounded by shadows that seem to whisper his name in your ears, you get engulfed in the reminisce of him and almost every moment you've shared together. 

Behind your closed eyes you can see his beautiful face, his hair that smells so good, his hands and those long fingers that have touched you in a friendly way countless times before but tonight, tonight you remember those interactions from another perspective, in a new light. 

Not everything is about his physique, though. The brightness of his smile that could light up an entire room, his laugh and the sound of his voice- everything about him is perfect, even the imperfections. You also think of his moody, short answers in the morning when he's still sleepy; you think of his frown and the look in his eyes when he's angry for something or at someone, and even that seems like undeniable proof of a kind of beauty you've never seen before in anyone else. 

Your feelings for him, you realise now, go beyond everything; but tonight, in the quiet of your own room and with the knowledge that you'll never be more than his dear, best friend, you decide that setting your imagination free won't hurt anybody. He doesn't have to know, you don't even have to say his name out loud. 

Only in your mind. His name echoes in every part of your conscience as you imagine. You imagine him in situations that you're sure you'll never see him in. You imagine him kissing you, both softly and then roughly, as if he were trying to consume all of you. Your mind shows him on top of you, his clothes gone, his lips on your skin and your name coming out of them in a plea. 

The visions in your head are so clear that soon your own hands are exploring your body. First, they travel up and down all through your abdomen, making you feel goosebumps at the thought of how good this would feel if it only were his hands on your skin. When you reach your breasts and cup them in your hands under your shirt, you can't help but to moan softly, even more when your fingers pinch your nipples that, in result, become impossibly hard in a matter of seconds. With the image of his beautiful lips wrapping around your hardened peaks, painting them with his own saliva, you feel that familiar pressure in your lower abdomen. That sensation that comes with the arousal that becomes physical and pools in the deepest parts of you, coating your underwear more and more with each second that passes and he's still in your mind, touching you, making you feel better than any man has ever done before. 

In the complexity of the mind, a deep feeling of guilt presses onto your chest. You know this is wrong, you know this isn't what you should do when you think of your dearest friend, but you can't help it. You can't avoid the feelings and the images in your mind. It's like a film that won't stop playing over and over; it's a bunch of images of him on top of you, inside of you, whispering the filthiest things right in your ear. It's him telling you how divine you feel around him, how much he loves being buried deep inside of you. It's his voice moaning and grunting, face hidden in the curve between your neck and your shoulder. 

It's your hands caressing his back and your nails digging into his flesh every time he moves inside you, the lewd sounds of his cock sliding into your hungry pussy filling the room and, in response, making you more needy. 

In the real world, your left hand has already reached your underwear. Your fingers come in contact with the wet spot right above your slit and you moan softly to the knowledge that you've become this wet only because he is in your mind. And as the guilt hits you once again, trying to drift your mind away from the pleasure that the thought of him gives you, you decide to go against it. 

He will never know about this. 

That thought is decisive. Your shirt and underwear are gone in a matter of seconds, and when you feel the soft air coming in from the window and touching your skin, you shiver. You wish he would be here, his natural warmth engulfing your body and soul, making the sadness and loneliness go away. But you're alone in your empty house- and even if he were here, he wouldn't be where you want him to be. 

With the crude reality put in the back of your mind, your fingers finally travel down to where you need attention the most. Feeling your own dampness, you let out a deep sigh. No one has ever made you this wet, not even yourself. All of this is thanks to him, because of him. The fire in your veins, the need to feel pleasure, the need to cum, all of this intensity is due to him and his face engraved in your mind. 

That's why you can hear his voice so clearly in your head the moment one of your fingers finds its way inside of you. The familiar intrusion feels good but it's obviously not enough, so it isn't surprising that a second finger adds to the first in a matter of seconds and this time you feel fuller. You feel fuller and needier, because now you're realising that nothing will be actually enough, because what you need isn't a matter of size, it isn't a matter of how and how much; it's about him. It's all about him. 

About his face and his hands and his voice. About your own fingers trying to find the right pace as you can almost feel his lips on your skin. It's about you and the need to say his name even though you know that you shouldn't, because if you do, it'll become real. The shameful thought that you want your best friend in ways that you shouldn't, will become true if you say his name out loud. 

But you can't help it. Your fingers inside of you feel good enough to make you whimper and mutter words that don't make sense. They're enough to fuel the images in your mind and you can't take it anymore. So, against your will, his name leaves your lips and you feel some sort of relief with it, because now your needs have claimed his name as their own. Your lust has a name now, and you can't stop saying it. 

“Franco.” 

It comes out in a soft plea at first, loud enough so only you can hear it. But it doesn't take much time or effort for you to continue further, saying it louder and louder each time your fingers enter your cunt again. Soon the room is filled with your pleas and cries that almost sound like you're in pain, because in a way you are, but his name falling from your lips over and over are enough to cover them up. Or at least that's what you think. 

You would have heard the front door opening and closing if you were paying more attention to your surroundings. You would have heard the voice calling your name once, twice a second later and then the steps getting closer to your room. You would have had time to cover yourself and come up with an excuse if you weren't so lost in your own mind and body. That's why the only thing that brings you back to the present, to reality, is the light that bathes your face when your bedroom's door opens. 

Everything happens so fast that you're sure you won't be able to recall this memory in the near future. Or maybe you will, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life. 

Once your eyes get used to the light that has suddenly corrupted the darkness in your room, your heart starts beating fast with horror. 

He's standing there, at your door, and the expression on his face is quite difficult to decipher. At his complete mercy, you're fully naked, laying on your bed with your legs wide open and your hands on your cunt; one of them with fingers buried deep inside you while the other is resting a little bit higher, just above your clit. Your chest is rising up and down with the heavy breathing that the pure terror and shame have triggered. Eyes wide open, mouth agape, you're frozen in the spot, unable to say a word, unable to act. 

The tension in the room is cut when he says your name, and maybe you're imagining things, but his voice sounds strangled.

Then, after some seconds, he mutters it again, your name. This time you're sure he's shocked with the scene in front of him but not entirely disgusted. 

The fear and guilt that had taken over you vanish almost completely when you see the expression on his face. Your eyes have adapted to the shining light coming into the dark room, so now you can see him more clearly, and the strange glint in his eyes is enough to make you think that maybe, just maybe, something good can come out of this situation.

Franco's eyes are wide open for a few shocking seconds. Then, when his brain processes the image before him, they start roaming your body. Bright green eyes observe your chest, bare tits and hardened nipples that seem to get even harder under his gaze. The valley between your breasts is covered in sweat and, in a strange way, that makes them look even more appealing. Your stomach, then, is a zone that perhaps you feel a little concerned to show too much but his expression doesn't change at any stop his eyes make on your body. He admires every part with the same intensity, with the same look of bewilderment in that gorgeous face.

He lets out a soft, almost imperceptible groan when his eyes reach your lower stomach and your legs, long and thick. His mouth agape when, in a sudden movement full of boldness, you open them a little wider and let him see more. He's standing to your right, so he can't see all of you properly, but he can see enough and, by the expression on his face, he's loving every second.

The absence of a negative reaction on his part emboldens you to act. Your hands, as if they were separated entities from the rest of your body, resume the earlier activities. Two of your fingers find your clit at the same time your left hand grabs one of your breasts. A sigh leaves your lips at the sudden contact and the fact that Franco is watching your every move makes a wave of pleasure hit you hard. You're aware that you're starting to put on a pornographic show for your best friend and, honestly, you're enjoying it maybe too much.

This is the first time you've seen him so focused on something. All those times he told you he struggled with his own attention span, you should've known that being naked in front of him, touching yourself for him, would be all he'd need to keep quiet and focused. That's why you chuckle when your eyes find him again and you see that his gaze is still fixed in your body.

The sound, a mix of a giggle and a moan, make him look at your face.

"Franco." You moan his name for the hundredth time this evening and rejoice when you actually see him shiver at the sound of your voice. "Please, please help me." You whimper, your own fingers pumping in and out of you faster each time. Harder. "I need you."

He closes his eyes for a few seconds and you know that he's fighting against something, against the fact that, if he gives in, everything will change. You will be friends no longer, because friends don't do this, friends don't want each other in such a way. But you do, and both of you know it. You both also know that, if you act on your shared desire, then when the moment is over you'll probably be in a limbo, trying to figure out what comes next.

But Franco actually doesn't care about the after, he almost never thinks too much before he acts. He lives the moment. You know that and your knowledge gets reinforced when he opens his eyes again and walks towards you, closing the door behind him. In response your heart flutters with excitement. 

Your fingers leave you and go up to rest on your lower stomach when he reaches your side. He's standing at your right, and this time you realize that he's looking at you in the face, looking for your gaze. When your eyes finally meet again, you can read a question that is answered with a nod of your head. 

You want this. You want this so bad. 

Franco's left hand caresses your hair first. His long fingers intertwine in your locks and for a moment you close your eyes to enjoy the innocent touch that, in a different situation, would get you to sleep. But the grip becomes a bit firmer and now he's tugging on it so your head can move to the side again, that way you can meet his eyes. As his hand leaves your head and travels to your soft cheek and then your lips, you don't stop looking at each other. 

A gasp leaves your throat when his thumb sits on your lower lip, and then he puts it inside your mouth, gently enough to give you time so you can reject him if you want. But you don't, you would never.

Soft lips wrap around his finger. Franco's reaction to the feeling of your tongue against the pad of his thumb in an almost imperceptible moan. The sound is low, coming out from the centre of his chest through gritted teeth, and it is the first time in the night that you feel some sort of pride fluttering inside you. The simple fact that he's reacting like this to the first physical contact with you is enough to make you act even bolder than before, and you keep sucking on his finger while looking him in the eyes. 

Franco smiles almost tenderly before the tone of his voice becomes twisted. 

“Who would've thought…” he mutters, still looking at you. “That you were such a desperate slut, huh?”

The sound you make in response to his words is almost inhuman. You're desperate and he can hear it in the tone of your moans, that are still muffled by his finger inside your mouth. 

“All these years…” he continues, voice feeling like velvet on your heated skin. “You were always such a good girl. Always the one to behave properly, wise beyond her years, or at least that's what all of them said, your family and mine… What would they think of you, (y/n)?” Franco asks, the mocking tone coming back. You squirm on the bed as you take his finger deeper and hollow your cheeks, imagining his cock in its place. 

“What would they think of you, (y/n)?” He presses on. This time, you look up at him. “If I told them about this. How I found you naked on your bed, fingers deep inside your soaked cunt while moaning my name like the fucking little whore you are. What would your family say? And mine? Should I let them know how much of a slut you're?”

You almost cry when he takes his finger off your mouth. 

“Answer me.” He commands. “Should I let everyone know?”

“If it pleases you.” You answer, voice sounding a little hoarse because of the previous activity in your throat. 

He smiles. 

“Is that what you want? To please me?”

You nod, fully conscious that you're making yourself look desperate- and actually you are. His mere presence, the sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne and the fact that he apparently wants you as much as you want him is enough for you. You're more than ready for him, for all of him, and Franco knows it. 

He knows it because it's written in you. All over the expression on your face and the way you open your legs for him when his right hand travels all the way down to your knee, and stays there, not moving back but neither further, torturing you silently. 

“Please.” You whisper. “Fran, I need you.”

It's funny, though. You're the one who's ready to please but you also are the one who begs. You've been actually begging him to touch you since the moment you saw him standing at the threshold.

Franco wishes you could read his mind and know that he's waited for this moment for a long time. He's wanted you since the moment you met, all those years ago. First, it was an innocent crush, that was all a child could offer, of course. But since you both grew into yourselves and he started to discover the world and other people- Franco had been with enough people to know that none of them could compare to you, even if he hadn't laid a hand on you yet. Something about you, about your aura, about the strong pull he felt towards you every single time you were in the same room, would assure him that nothing, no one, could compare to you. 

And now you're here, right in front of him, begging. The sound of your voice is almost haunting, like you're in deep pain. He could ask himself over and over again if this is the right thing to do, but in all honesty, he doesn't care about that. He only cares about you and the painful desire you make him feel even when he hasn't touched you properly yet. 

Besides, if you really need him as you say,  if you're in pain as you sound, who is he to deny you his help? Isn't he, after all, your best friend?

That thought is all he needs to vanish his worries to the darkest pit of his mind. 

“Are you really sure about this?” His voice cuts the silence once again. The eager nod coming from you makes him smile. “I need words, love.”

“Yes.” You answer almost too fast. “Please, Fran. Please. I can't wait anymore.”

He curses under his breath because he honestly can't believe it. He's amazed by your eagerness and so fucking turned on that he feels like he's going to cum right here and now. 

So, to avoid that, Franco doesn't waste any more time. Before you can blink twice, he's undoing his trousers and underwear, pulling them down as his hard cock springs out. You moan at the sight of it. Long and thick enough to make your mouth literally water, standing proud and impossibly hard against his shirt, almost staining the fabric with the precum that pools at the angry red tip. It's beautiful, just like the rest of him, and your cunt hurts with the anticipation of feeling it in you. 

After taking his shirt off, Franco's right hand travels down to his dick, grabbing it with a firm grip before pumping it a few times, smearing his own juices all over his length, which makes it look even more appetizing. 

You wait in your place on the bed, observing the small show of him touching himself for a few seconds until his right knee sinks on the mattress, right beside your shoulder. Then, his left hand goes to your hair, under your head, lifting it and adjusting it in the right way so the head of his dick is now right on your lips. He traces them with it, as if he were painting them. 

“So fucking perfect.” He whispers. In response, you let your tongue lick around the head of his dick, coaxing a deep moan out of him. The first contact with his skin is delicious but now you want more, so much more. And apparently he feels the same. 

“I'm gonna put it in your mouth. Is that okay, baby?” He asks. You make a sound that it's a mix between a whine and a moan as you nod for the hundredth time in the night. “Gonna suck my cock until I cum down your throat?” You almost jolt in excitement at that. “Yeah? You want my cum?”

Your answer sounds against the skin of his dick, which you keep licking. “Yes. Yes, please.”

That is the last thing you say for a few minutes, right before he presses the tip against your lips again and this time you open your mouth wide enough to take him in. The way Franco moans at the feeling of your warm, wet mouth is pornographic and you thank the Gods for that, the fact that he's always so vocal about everything and this situation is not an exception. Actually, his moans are all the fuel you need to keep going. The taste of him too. Everything about him makes you take him deeper inside your mouth every time he pulls almost all the way back, fucking your face faster and harder as the minutes pass by. 

The grip on your hair becomes tighter as the sounds of your throat being fucked fill the room. You gag only two times, when he pushes all the way in and holds his dick in the deepest part of your throat he can reach, your nose pressed against him and saliva falling down your chin and neck. Every time he pulls out, you take a second or two to gather your breath but soon enough he's at it again, and you receive him without any complaint, relaxing your throat all you can as he keeps filling it over and over again. 

The intensity and pleasure of it all becomes almost unbearable and soon you're pressing your thighs together, trying to ease the almost literal pain you feel. Franco sees it, attentive to your body even though a great part of his mind is clouded with the sweet abandon of pleasure. So, for a few seconds, he eases the grip on your hair so you can start doing most of the work now, because his right hand travels from your knee to your inner thigh, and it isn't long until you can feel his fingers in your cunt. 

Both of you moan at the feeling. You, because the pressure of his fingers on your slit ease the pain you've been feeling; him, because you're so fucking wet that, when he starts massaging your clit, your juices are so abundant that the movements he makes leave a loud, squelching sound behind them.

“You're soaked.” He moans, still inside your mouth and touching you at the same time. “Is this because of me, love?” 

The answer is obvious to both of you, but you answer anyway, “Yes.” You say, a hoarse voice can barely be heard above the sounds of your cunt. “Yes, it's because of you. Always.” 

Franco smiles, “Do you always touch yourself while thinking of me?” You nod and this time he laughs. It doesn't make you feel bad because it isn't a mocking laugh, it's like he can't believe it. “Same. You have no idea how many times I've made a mess while thinking of you.” 

As his velvety voice keeps sounding in your ears, he keeps massaging your clit, faster as the seconds go by. 

“I've imagined you in every position.” He mutters. “I've made myself cum so many times, thinking of your sweet mouth and cunt wrapped around me, milking me as many times as we wish.” 

He's realized from the first moment that dirty talking is one of your weaknesses, and lucky you, he loves saying naughty things, so he keeps doing it as he massages your clit and smiles triumphant when your legs start trembling and you look at him with an expression on your face that he will never forget. Glassy eyes look up at him as your teeth sinks into your lower lip; your orgasm is close and everything about you says so. 

When you try to close your eyes, his hand immediately slows the pace on your clit. You frown. 

“What-?”

“You keep looking at me.” He commands. You want to yell at him, but his movements become fast again and the sweet pressure on your lower belly comes back. “You look me in the eyes as you cum or I won't do this again, you understand?” You nod. “Words, (y/n).”

“I- fuck, I understand!” You moan as his fingers keep working you on at an impossible pace. 

Not many seconds pass by until the first orgasm hits you hard. Your eyes are still on his; your entire body trembling as the most lewd sounds leave your throat. The simple act of having an orgasm while looking at those beautiful green eyes is enough to bring tears to yours. The pleasure is too overwhelming. 

When the best seconds of your life so far end, your body relaxes and Franco pulls both his hands away from you, letting you rest on the bed. The fingers that worked your clit are now in his own mouth as he sucks them clean. The sight makes you moan. 

“Delicious.” He says, coaxing a giggle out of you. “What?”

“You're crazy. And so fucking hot.”

Franco smiles and shrugs. 

“You know me.”

“Not like this, no.”

“Oh, this? This is nothing, love.”

You frown, “You gave me the best orgasm of my life by simply touching my clit and you call it nothing? It never felt like that before.” 

“I mean, it's not my fault that your previous lovers were fucking idiots.”

You smile.

“And you're what, some sort of sex God?”

“That I am.” 

A genuine laugh escapes your lips. You laugh at his smug words and at the entire situation. Everything is so- surreal, in a way. It's almost comical. But the sound dies in your throat when you realize the way he's looking at you. He's not mad or annoyed, he just looks like he's discovered something new in you, but if he did he doesn't say it out loud. 

Soon, when you've recovered from your orgasm, you realize that Franco's still standing by your side and his dick is still impossibly hard. You remember his previous words, about sucking him off until he's cumming down your throat, and you feel the fire inside you light up once again. Your right hand wraps around his dick without a warning and he hisses, but he doesn't pull you away, instead enjoying your ministrations. 

“Not right now.” He says after a minute or two, as if he's reading your mind. You're sure, though, that he's actually reading the expression on your face as you jerk him off. It's clear that you want him to cum. “Not like this, I won't last long.”

You stop. Then, looking into his eyes, you open your legs for him once again. 

“Come here, then.”

He doesn't need to be told twice. In an instant, he's standing at your feet; both hands reach behind your knees and they pull you towards him. 

In a silent agreement, both of you take your time to look at each other. He's lucky enough to have you like this- completely bare before him, body glistening with sweat due to the previous activities, pretty face with an expression of utter pleasure as you anticipate what's coming, unconsciously opening your legs further, letting him fully see you. You're out of this world, so beautiful that it almost hurts. And he isn't so far behind- you also think he's the most handsome man you've ever seen, with those eyes scanning every piece of you, his curls sticking to his forehead and, oh, such a pretty face. His body is something else too- the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen, the shape of his arms, his hands. You take his hands in yours for a moment, squeezing them, praying this isn't the last time you feel them on you. 

You're both so mesmerized with each other that your bodies seem to move with their own consciousness, and that's why you share a loud moan when he enters you for the first time. 

It feels like nothing you've experienced before. You can't decide what is it that makes him so different from other people you've been with, but surely, there's something that makes Franco feel like heaven. He stays still for a few, long seconds because he's just realized that he penetrated you without warning and in a single movement, and even though it's obvious that you're ready enough to receive him, he doesn't want to hurt you. 

What he doesn't realise is that you're in pain once again because you need him to move and put an end to this feeling, this primitive need to have him just fucking you hard and deep. And that's what you finally ask from him, without shame, without guilt. 

“Please.” You beg once again. “Move. Please, move. I need to feel you.” 

You're sure you're about to cry but the tears get stuck in your eyes when Franco complies and starts moving his hips. It's slow at first, like he's testing the waters, but when the only thing you do is moan softly and writhe under him, crying for more, his hands leave yours and travel to your hips. Once he's sure his grip on your flesh is firm enough, he accelerates the pace, and starts pumping into you with a force that has you almost screaming. 

Soon you start moving your own hips, meeting him halfway and making the experience a thousand times better, if that's even possible. The feeling of his dick inside you, so fucking deep, is more than anything you've ever felt in your life. 

The room is filled with the sound of your skin against his, and the musky smell of sex intoxicates your senses. You've dreamed about this moment for so long that it feels surreal- his hands on your hips, his cock deep inside you and his eyes roaming the entirety of your body, all of it feels so out of this world and you love every second. You love it so much that you feel drunk with pleasure and something else that you can name yet. 

Franco grins at the sight of your eyes, glassy with tears that you're soon to shed. A deep feeling of pride fills his chest. 

“Look at you.” He taunts, never stopping his movements. “You were made for this, weren't you? You were made for my cock, for me.” 

You nod and moan, unable to form a full sentence as his pace becomes impossibly fast and hard- it's almost too much and the thought of asking him to slow down crosses your mind for a split second, until his hands travel up from their place on your hips to your breasts, and your brain almost shuts down. 

“Gonna enjoy these later, I promise.” He chuckles as his long fingers start kneading the flesh of your tits. When he pinches your nipples, the moan that leaves your throat is almost too much, but you don't care. It feels too good to hold back. 

You relish on the feeling of his fingers on your hard nipples until his right hand stops its ministrations to start roaming the skin of your left side, your waist, all the way back down to your hip and then- then you feel his fingers on your clit again, massaging it with expertise. You can't help but throw your head back as a deep moan leaves your throat. 

“Fuck, yes.” You moan, almost hysterical. “So good, so good- oh my-” 

Franco chuckles again and then says, in a mocking tone, “You're so dirty, (y/n). You really-” his words are suddenly interrupted by a strangled groan as you tighten your walls around him. Your warmth hugging his dick in a way that has him literally losing his balance and almost falling on top of you, and he would've crushed you if his arms weren't strong enough to keep him hovering over you.

His face contorted in an expression full of sheer pleasure, he looks so good with his eyes closed and mouth agape, desperately trying to hold the moans in. 

You're the one who chuckles this time. 

“Too good, huh?” You tease him, your cunt tightening around him once again. He groans and hides his face in the crook of your neck. “Can't take it, baby? Too much for you?”

Franco moans again and then you hear him whisper.

“I'm gonna make you- you will pay for this.”

You giggle softly. 

“I think I'd like that.”

All resolve leaves him when you make your magic again. The feeling of your cunt hugging his dick so tightly is enough to make him lose his mind and almost all control. His movements become messier as they get faster, you feel him twitch inside you once, then twice. You hum at the feeling, caressing his back and nape, then intertwining your fingers with his messy, wet locks. 

“I'm close.” He moans, the sound muffled by your skin. 

“I know, baby. Come on, cum for me."

“You first.”

For a moment you think your words are enough, but apparently they aren't. In a second, Franco seems to take back control of the situation when he suddenly breaks away from your arms, kneeling in front of you just like before- his hard, throbbing dick still deep inside of you. You're about to ask him what's going on but then his long fingers are on your clit again, and you answer by throwing your head back in a loud moan. 

Franco keeps working on the most sensitive part of your body as he starts moving again, in and out, at a torturous pace that has you writhing on the bed. Your eyes fill with tears again and he smiles. 

“Cum for me, love.” He encourages through gritted teeth. You know he's holding his own orgasm back by fucking you slowly, and his will certainly impresses you. “Please, do it. Cum all around my cock.”

How would you deny him? When he looks so good fucking you, working on your clit like this isn't the first time. How would you deny him anything when this is all you've ever wanted?

So you let yourself go. Your second orgasm hits you harder than the previous one, sweet cunt gushing all around him, soaking him and the sheets below you. Your moans are almost pornographic and you feel him twitch inside you at the sound of them. 

In the electric explosion that takes over your entire body and mind, you feel him crawling back on top of you, like he was just minutes ago. His face hiding in your left shoulder again as his hips keep fucking into you aggressively, making your climax last longer than expected. 

“Look at me.” You moan in his ear and your body trembles with the sound of a deep groan coming as a response. After a few seconds of you repeating those words, he lifts his head to look at you, forehead pressed against yours. “Cum inside of me and don't stop looking at me as you do it.” 

He chews on his lower lip. 

“I-inside?” You nod as much as you can. “Fuck, (y/n).”

“Please, I need it.” You moan against his mouth, your eyes on his. “I need your cum.” 

That last sentence is accompanied by his name and the way you moan it's all it takes for him to finally let go. The sounds Franco makes when he's cumming deep inside of you are never going to leave your memory, and you wish, right here, now, that you have the opportunity to hear them again many times from tonight. The sight of him is beautiful too- brows furrowed, eyes desperately trying to stay open and that pretty mouth shaped in an O form. His cheeks are red and glistening with the sweat that's covering him, as well as the tip of his nose.

As he empties inside of you, you keep caressing his back, leaving goosebumps behind your touch. His skin shivers with the feeling, still making little sounds that will haunt you forever. 

He pumps into you two or three times more, still filling you with his release, that soon you start feeling overflowing your cunt, falling down your ass and on the sheets. You wonder if he always cums this hard, and the idea that he might not, that you're the only one that makes him feel like this, it's exciting. 

After some long seconds he stops moving his hips but is still buried deep inside of you. His face goes back to the crook of your neck for the second time and you smile as you feel his hot breath on your skin and then a kiss, then his teeth grazing the spot and sinking into it. 

“That's gonna leave a mark.” You moan. 

“Good.”

You stay like that for minutes that feel like hours, in each other's arms, your skin sticking to his due to the sweat that you both share but you couldn't care less. It feels too good, everything about it feels too good and none of you make an attempt to break away from the other. 

Franco knows, as well as you do, that this has been an event that will change everything forever. Some part of you is afraid of what comes next- a hundred questions flood your brain but the main one is the one that haunts you the most. Was this a one night stand? 

You're about to gather the courage to ask him when he lifts his head to look at you, forehead against yours again. You look him in the eyes and, for a moment, you think that the green in his gaze gives you the answer you so desperately need. But in case you needed confirmation, he decides to speak it out loud. 

“I wanna do it again.” He simply states, and you feel your chest full with happiness. “Like, forever. I really mean it.”

You giggle in response and you feel the tears that you've been holding back slowly falling down your cheeks. Franco kisses them away as soon as he notices them. 

“You liked it that much?” You ask as he keeps kissing your face. He stops for a moment to answer, his lips moving against your jaw. 

“Yeah. But I like you, all of you.” He says. “And I want you so much it hurts.”

“I want you, too.”

He smiles shortly before capturing your lips with his, and you realise that this is the first time you've ever kissed. People are supposed to kiss before having wild sex, but who cares?

All you care about is Franco and his pretty lips on yours, moving with such confidence and expertise that leave you breathless. You can feel everything in that kiss, it feels like he's trying to say all those things that he thinks it's too soon to say yet, but you answer him with the same intensity, making him tremble in your arms. 

His kiss says that he loves you too much to let you go, and you tell him that you feel the same.

a/n2: hope you liked it! pls let me know what you think ♥

[mshalfemptygirl]

Cupid (S.R)

Plot: Our favorite Doutor confess feels to his best friend also co-worker, Y/N.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUFem!Reader

Contents: Really quicky mention to drinks, cases, makeout but fluffy for sure.

A/N: hello readers, I disappeared for a year because of work and college and a serious health problem but I'm better than ever and coming back to writing has brought me back to life. I hope you like her because she's cute, a couple from a romance movie basically, so like and share if you like it.

"Alright, Spence. What are your thoughts on the woman over there in the dark green dress? She looks elegant, charming, and quite attractive. She might even share an interest in the books you enjoy, don’t you think? What’s your take?" I gestured toward the woman who had just taken a seat at the bar, alone. I was on a mission to play matchmaker for Spencer. Although he hadn’t asked for my help, I thought it would be useful to offer a female perspective. Spencer’s inherent shyness meant he needed substantial guidance in social situations, especially when it came to women.

The ambiance was pleasant. We were seated at a table near the main entrance. Given that it was Thursday, the bar was relatively quiet, but it was the only day we both had free to unwind after a grueling series of cases in New York. Honestly, I’m not sure what’s been happening this past month, but I’ve reviewed so much material that when I close my eyes, I still see the words on the pages. And Spence? The poor guy has never analyzed so many maps in his life. I thought this break was well-deserved, and he certainly deserved a chance to spend time with someone special. Well, both of us could use a moment with someone, but I’m on a cupid’s mission and need to stay focused—no distractions, no more than three drinks.

"She’s attractive, but I’m not fond of blondes, and she seems a bit too tall for my taste. I don’t think it would work out," he replied. I frowned and looked at him with disbelief. This was the fifth woman he had dismissed that evening, and his options were rapidly dwindling. I downed my beer in one gulp and stared him down, hoping to make him realize it was now or never. "Spence, you don’t need to be so selective. I understand it’s challenging for you, but you’re only looking for someone to kiss. I’d love to kiss that girl! She’s stunning. Just approach her, buy her a drink, and then kiss her. Go on, now," I urged impatiently. He needed to make the first move.

"I understand, Y/N. She’s attractive, but I don’t want to kiss her, that’s all," he said, turning back to the bar and taking a sip of his whiskey. I knew him well enough to sense he was hiding something. This was a significant step for him, and despite our discussions about taking a break, he seemed reluctant to pursue it. Ugh, he could be so stubborn.

"I know there’s more to it, love. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Am I being too pushy, is that it? I’m sorry if I’m a bad cupid. I’ll stop. Look, I’m waving the white flag—peace," I said, grabbing a napkin and waving it theatrically. I flashed a grin, and he chuckled. It was always like this: he was the serious one, and I was the humorous one. He loved books, and I adored movies. He was the little angel, and I was the little devil. "Very amusing, but I swear, I have nothing to hide from you," he assured me.

"Spencer..." I gave him my best puppy-dog eyes. He looked uncomfortable, but he started to speak anyway, with a hint of resignation in his voice. "Well, there’s this girl I’ve developed feelings for... she’s incredibly nice and fun. When she talks to me, I can’t think of anything else. I’m not sure how to articulate my feelings, but I don’t want to kiss anyone else. She’s everything to me now." I was overjoyed and exhilarated. I’d never seen Spence so in love before, and now he had someone special in his life. Of course, I felt a twinge of jealousy, but I was also genuinely happy for him. This was a delightful surprise.

"Spencer Walter Reid!! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?! Did you—" I exclaimed, relieved that the bar was mostly empty. His face flushed red as he tried to cover my mouth with his hand. "Y/N, please don’t shout!!! I didn’t know sooner, I didn’t realize it until now..." he explained. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my excitement. "Alright... you need to go talk to her right now and give her a proper kiss! I’ll handle things here. Just go for it!"

He looked at me wide-eyed, his hands on my shoulders. "You really think so? Are you sure?" I snorted. "Absolutely, go now." And that’s when he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as if steeling himself for what he was about to do. His fingers gently gripped the back of my neck, his touch both tender and urgent. He leaned in, and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my skin before our lips finally met. I was stunned, my body tensed, and my eyes remained open for a moment, but his lips were so soft that I quickly surrendered to the kiss. Our lips moved together in sync, and I felt a profound connection. He wasn’t as shy as I’d thought—he had a way with words and was incredibly sweet. I couldn’t explain it, but he was perfect. Suddenly, I found myself bewitched by the very arrow of Cupid I had sent forth.

As we broke away from the kiss, I gazed at him, utterly bewildered, my heart racing with every beat. "Spence, what was that? You just..." I asked, my voice trembling with genuine confusion. He looked at me with an expression that blended sincerity and vulnerability before responding in a tone that was soft yet deeply meaningful: "Well, the truth is, the woman I’ve been admiring all along is you. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock, but you asked me to act, so I did."

I was momentarily stunned, a whirlwind of emotions overtaking me. How could I have been so blind not to notice this sooner? I opened my mouth for the first time in minutes to speak my heart. "Spence, there's no need to apologize. I'm just... surprised! That was really something," I said, still trying to wrap my head around the moment. I paused, letting it all sink in. "So, does this count as our first date, or would you rather have a more traditional one?" I asked with an amused tone, trying to ease the tension that had built between us, feeling a bit uncertain about what came next.

"Oh, I definitely want another date. How about I take you out for dinner, and you wear that dark blue dress you had on at Rossi’s? I love the way it looks on you," he said, his words making a warm sensation spread through me. "You’re so sweet, Spence. I hadn’t really noticed it before. If I’d known you kissed like that..." I replied with a laugh, hugging him tightly. "And you can bet I’ll wear the dress if it makes you happy." With a gentle caress on my face, I brushed his bangs off his forehead, feeling a bit strange about kissing one of my best friends, but I was glad he had the courage to confess something so significant.

I looked at his face again and could see him a bit embarrassed by the events of the night that had unfolded in a public place. It wasn’t something he had planned, and he likes to plan things. "Y/N, may I kiss you a little longer?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for permission. Instead of answering, I pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss, savoring the moment.

Talk to me

Spencer Reid Masterlist

A/N: let me know if you want me to tag you

[russellsppttemplates]

My person (Charles Leclerc)

Your brother's best friend is sure you were made for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. Most times I read a brother's best friend trope, it's usually the reader going after the boy, so I felt like doing things a little bit different (also, my brain got a bit jumbled because I was wondering about the perspective, and in the end I went with reader being Joris' twin). Also, I always feel a little bit of impostor's syndrome whenever I post these tropes for which I've read many great pieces about it, and I never know if my ones are good enough to be posted but we're going with it

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Most people thought having a twin brother was bitter sweet because while you had to share everything since the womb, you had a brother so there came a time where you wanted to have different toys, different rooms and different styles.

Different friends, however, was never a question. Even with different interests, you and Joris often came as a duo, so both of your friend groups were pretty close.

"We're going to Charles' apartment to watch the football game, are you joining us?", Joris asked, throwing himself on your sofa and partially occupying your personal space, "Marta is going to be over and I think she's taking Chiara with her, too".

You don't remember a time where Charles wasn't in your life. Your brother knew him since they were in kindergarten and so there wasn't a memory where he wasn't involved. Which brought you to the last time you were with him, just a week before.

Charles spent the afternoon with Joris at your brother's apartment, wanting to relax and game for the rest of the day.

"It's Y/N", Charles said as he gave Joris his ringing phone, your caller ID prompting him to pick the calk up right away, "can you come and get me, please?", he heard you faintly as Joris got up straight away, listening to whatever you were telling as he put on his trainers and jacket.

"Y/N needs me to pick her up from the café - turns out her date thought she wouldn't mind going home on her own", Joris rolled his eyes, "it will be quick, you're good on your own here?", he checked with Charles, "sure", the driver assured, unpausing the game and carrying on.

Another date and another disappointment for you, Charles thought. While you weren't as close as his brother was to him, he still knew about your life as much as your other friends, and lately you had been looking for someone, your person, you claimed. Luck had yet to join your search as every date you went on seemed to go between bad and awful.

If he had the courage to come clean about his feelings, maybe things would be different. For a while, yes, you were Joris' twin sister and that was it. You were a cool girl and he didn't mind spending time with you or having your hang out with their group, but things changed when you went to university.

Maybe it was your glow up, although you never needed one to catch his eye in the first place, but year after year, you grew to exude confidence, your natural beauty enhanced as you turned into a charming, caring and kind young woman.

Since he didn't want to ruin the bond you had, he watched it all happen from the sidelines. How happy you sounded whenever you had a date later in the week, whenever a cute guy came up to you in the club and how you squealed "I think this one might be the one!" as you excused yourself and declined dinner invitations from the group for a date.

He heard the door open and then close, footsteps approaching the living room as he paused the game just in time for you to sit on the sofa, "what's up, Leclerc?", you nudged his shoulder.

"I'm good, how are you?", he quesioned, "I guess that one isn't the love of your life either?", he semi joked.

"He was certifiable, at the very least", you began as the boys chuckled, "Hey! I'm qualified to make such appreciation! He kept talking about himself and he was borderline sexist, but then he said I would be fine going home on my own? I don't know, it was a mess and I can't believe I even experienced that - I'm going to pretend it was a fever dream", you shrugged your shoulders, "I was expecting to spend the afternoon with him - thank Goodness I didn't, - and the construction work at my place is still going so I don't have anywhere to go, I'm sorry if I'm crashing your afternoon", you gulped.

"It's fine, it's nice having company other than us two playing and screaming at eachother", Charles smiled as Joris shrugged his shoulders, "you're already staying her until the building work is done", you brother offered.

"I wasn't asking you, silly; you're my twin, dealing with me it's something that comes with the job", you winked.

When it came to dinner time, the three of you decided to have take out, your brother calling the restaurant and scheduling a time for him to pick it up, "I'm going to shower", you said as you got up from the sofa, heading to the guest room you were staying in.

By the time you got out, your heard Joris shout that he was leaving while you put on some comfy clothes for the evening in. When you went to the balcony so your towels could air dry for a bit, you sat in the padded chair, looking out to the sunset.

He would come, you thought. It wasn't particularly a manifestation or a "throw it at the universe" kind of thing, but rather something to reassure yourself. You were worthy of the standards you set for yourself and there was someone out there for you, and he would come.

"Hey", Charles stepped into the balcony, coming to sit in the chair next to yours, "a cent for your thoughts?", he smiled softly, the warm yellow and orange light hitting his eyes in a glowy hue.

"Do you believe that the right person for you is out there?", you shot softly.

"I know she is", Charles gulped, "Oh, confident!", you giggled softly, "but it's nice, better than being sulky like me".

"I'm not sure how much better it is. I know she is out there, but it's a little more complicated than just going up to her and tell her that", he played with hia thumbs.

"So you're chickening out?", you quirked your eyebrow, partly teasing him but genuinely curious about it. You didn't have enough fingers to count how many girls tried to approach you and befriend you with the only goal of getting into a friendship circle that would lead them to Charles, and he could probably chat up anyone he wanted, so it was hard for you to understand how he didn't have the love of his life with him yet.

"It's not chickening out if you think it might cause some issues with your friends, I think. I'm being prudent, that's all", Charles tried, wanting to take the opportunity to try and see where you stood. Girls were usually sharper than guys, so you said many times, maybe you'd take the hint.

"If I knew who the love of my life was, I would go to him and never look back. I know it sounds silly, but I wouldn't want to be away from him a second longer, it would be quite shitty if he was in a relationship", you mused, "but if we were really meant to be together - if it was a both ways kind of thing - he would know it, right? Goodness, sound a bit like a romantic sop, don't I?", you chuckled, "but I would fight for him, for us".

Charles felt inspired before he felt a little angry. Here you here saying you would fight until you found your person when he was right there. If it really worked as a both ways thing, you'd have to know and feel the person you kept looking for was him. He broke into a full belly laugh as he stated at you. No make-up, hair sitting in its natural wave and comfy clothes, you never looked so beautiful to him.

"Would you let me fight for us, too?", he mused quietly but loud enough for you to hear, "would you want me to do that?".

Giggling at him, you could only shake your head at his words, "I know this sound silly - Joris teases me enough about it enough", you groaned as your hands covered your face.

"I'm not joking or teasing", Charles clarified, turning to face you on the chair, "All I want is for you to look at me the way you look at them", Charles stated, "whenever you talk about your dates before you go on them, you're so hopeful that that guy will be the one, you look forward to it like it will be that time, and you never looked at me that way when I constantly make efforts to hung the stars and the moon for you and stand there hoping they get to you".

His confession took you off guard. Charles just admitted he liked you, in a way with words that was more elaborate than what any of your dates had ever told you combined.

"I thought you were being nice?! Was this some sort of plan?!", you quesioned immediately. He had been around you your whole life, you surely would've noticed it, wouldn't you?

Charles chuckled in a way you found a smidge belittling, "it wasn't a plan! Y/N, I have not been planning this or doing some strategy, it just happened out of nowhere!", Charles bit back, "like you said, the person for me is out there and she's you!".

The noise from the door pulled both of you out your discussion, your brother's singalong voice announcing he was back with the food.

Dusting your sweatpants, you stepped back inside the living room, shaking off the jitters you had as your brother scrunched up his face, "is everything okay?", he asked.

"Of course, I'm just hungry and you drove like a grandpa here", you bickered back as Charles joined you at the table, "I'll get the cutlery and plates from the kitchen", you mumbled.

The dinner was eaten quietly on your side, Charles and Joris making most of the conversation as you exchanged a few looks with the Formula One driver, your twin brother seemingly obvious as he carried on as usual, "I'm going to bed", you said after helping tidy, "are you sure? We were going to watch something on TV?", Joris asked you.

"I'm getting a headache, so I'll pass, good night boys", you gave them tight lipped smile.

In the bedroom, you changed into your pyjamas and finished your night-time routine and got under the sheets, Charles' words replaying as you looked at the ceiling.

"Y/N? Are you joining us or not? Do you have any plans?", Joris insisted, "you've been weird lately", he pointed out.

"I'll join you, yes, just need to get my hoodie and then I'll be good to go", you scrambled out as your heart beat faster inside your chest.

Joris offered to drive to Charles' apartment, getting there when Riccardo, Marta and little Chiara were alresdy inside with Charles.

"The rest of the group couldn't come, so it's just us", Riccardo said as he noticed your expression, "what a shame, more food for us!", you smirked, sitting next to Marta and playing with the little girl on her lap, "hello, my love, hello!", you cooed in the voice you only had for babies, "look at you so grown up! You get more beautiful everytime I see you", you smiled, tickling her chin softly as she giggled loudly.

"Who did the roast potatoes last time we got together?", Joris stepped back into the living room, "I did", you stated as you grabbed one of the toys on the coffee table, ready to sit down on the floor so you and Chiara could play together.

"Don't sit down!", your brother yelled, "sorry, but you can't sit down - Charles needs help with the potatoes and he doesn't know the recipe like you do", he reasoned as you got up, trying not to show how much you didn't want to be in the same room alone with Charles. Watching football while having dinner with your group of friends was one thing, spending one on one time with Charles after what he said to you the last time was another.

"Hey", you said as you stepped into the kitchen, "Joris said you needed help, what can I do?".

Charles smiled a little, maybe at the irony of your quesion, "I don't know what seasonings to use in these", he said as he showed you the vegetable with the ones he already cut up.

"Okay, do you keep the spices in the same place?", you asked as he nodded, encouraging you to use his kitchen like it was your own.

Opening the cabinets and grabbing what you needed, you started mixing the ingredients and cutting up the ones you needed to, "can you get me the olive oil, please? I can't reach it", you asked and Charles complied, "thank you".

"Is this how this is going to be? Interacting like we haven't known eachother since we were little and like I haven't poured my heart out to you?", Charles said, arms crossed as he rested against the kitchen counter.

"I wasn't counting on you saying all of that, I was so caught off guard that I haven't been able to think about anything else in my off time!", you offered, setting the knife down on the chopping board.

"It's not like people have speeches ready and give of warnings when they're about to confess their feelings for someone... I myself wasn't expecting to do it until the words came out of my mouth", Charles gestured as if he was vomiting, "what do you expect it to be like anyway? People have to warn you they have feelings for you and ask if you want to hear it?! Is that what you want?".

"I want to feel loved, appreciated and valued. I want to be with someone that reminds me that I'm beautiful, that I'm smart and I'm wonderful. I want to share my life with someone who has no trouble with me wanting to have both career goals and family goals, I want someone who supports me as much as a support him, who is willing to do silly things because I enjoy them and who loves me for me, flaws and all", you let out in one go, "That's what I want".

Charles eyebrows climbed on his forehead, "Are you insinuating I can't give you that? Is that why we haven't spoken since that evening at Joris' place?".

"I'm saying you're my brother's best friend, and no matter how much I think you can do it - because you make me feel like that just from being my friend, imagine if we were dating -, I don't want to risk whatever we have, all of us", you gestured to the living room where the rest of the group was.

"Y/N", Charles pleaded, "you don't think I've thought about that? I didn't do it on a whim like you think I did, I've been sitting on this for quite a while, actually", he clarified, "I will respect whatever you decide, okay? But can't just sit and pretend that you don't want this thing between you and me as much as I do, because we could be so good-", he was interrupted as Marta crossed the corner and stepped inside the kitchen, "Charles, can I heat Chiara's soup on the microwave?", she asked with the small tupperware on her hands.

"Sure, here", he guided her as you resumed to seasoning the potatoes, putting them on the tray and then in the oven, "the game is about to start, hurry up!", Joris yelled.

"I'll just wash this, and that too", you took the tupperware's lid as well as the utensils you needed for the dressing.

"I need to cool it down a little, maybe in a bigger bowl", Marta said as Charles helped in getting the bowl from the cupboard as you set the utensils aside to dry, "Merci, Charles, off we go then", she said as she waited for you both to leave and go to the living room so she could follow you.

"Come here, sweet cheeks", you clapped at Chiara, taking her away from your brother's arms and putting her in the highchair so she could eat comfortably, "auntie Y/N is going to give you your delicious soup, yummy yummy", you smiled.

Charles couldn't help but take in the sight, how you made Chiara feel like she was the only person in the world as you smiled and spoke to her, finding a million and one ways to get her to eat the soup in the bowl.

The food was ready by the half-time break, so you all helped with bringing the food to the table, eating it as the team you were supporting ended up winning the game.

"She's knocked out", you pointed out to Riccardo, Chiara asleep in the little makeshift cot you made on the sofa with some pillows and blankets to make sure she was warm and secure.

"We can clean up, you guys go home and take this little princess to sleep in her own bed", Charles smiled, stroking the little girl's cheek softly as he watched her peaceful expression.

"You don't mind?", Marta wondered as the three of you nodded, helping the parents gather their daughter's belongings so they could leave, hoping she wouldn't wake up and make it harder for her to fall back asleep.

"Sweet dreams, petite fleur", you cooed as Marta cuddled Chiara into her chest, squeezing her small hand softly before they walked out of the door.

"These need to go on the dishwasher", you sorted through the plates and checked if they were safe to go on the machine as your brother help you.

"We should probably get going", Joris said, not wanting to overstay your welcome, "do you need anything else, Charles? Otherwise, me and Y/N will leave you to it", he said.

"Actually, me and Charles need to talk, if that's okay", you looked at the driver, catching him by surprise before he nodded in agreement.

Joris didn't dwell too much on it like you thought he would, "so you need me to come and pick you up or...?", he trailed before Charles saved you, "don't worry, I've got her", he stated.

When Charles accompanied your twin brother to the door, he was blunt and honest, "She's my sister, but there could be worse guys than you", Joris offered as Charles narrowed his eyes, "Oh, please, do you think I'm that blind? I've seen the way you look at her and how you always go above and beyond for her - she's just being too stubborn about it to see it, too. Still, if you ever break her heart or cause her any tears of sadness and anger, you're going to wish I didn't know so much about you", he threatened, although it didn't go as planned as they both laughed, "I trust you, there wasn't anyone I would trust like this", he sighed, "you're just lucky you have brothers, otherwise I might've taken revenge on you", he nudged his shoulder.

"I bet Lorenzo would enjoy a cuddle every now and again if you'd like", Charles giggled before he showed his seriousness again, "I just want this to work out between us, I think she's my person, you know?", he mused, realising how cliché and whipped he sounded, "I'll take care of her, you don't need to worry", he assured.

Charles closed the door and walked back to the living room where you sat down on the sofa, legs covered with one of the blankets, "I- thank you for staying back", he smiled, pointing with his eyes to the spot next to you silently asking if he could sit.

You opened the blanket so he could sit next to you and you could both keep warm, "I want to apoligise for not saying anything the last time we spoke, and for how I've handled this", you began, "I'm sorry, Charles", you said earnestly.

"Apology accepted", he nodded, "and did you just stay here to apoligise?", he quesioned.

"I- I thought we could have a date, sort of anyway", you mumbled, "and I could also tell you how I feel about you since it seems I owe you that with what you've told me", you looked into his eyes, "it wasn't that you were ever off bounds or anything like that, I never cared for those supposed rules, but it never occurred to me", you blurted and Charles quirked a brow, "shoot, that's not what I meant, ugh", you grunted as he soothingly rubbed your thigh, "what I meant is I always thought you'd never look at me that way - I'm Joris' twin - so I just took all of the affection I had for you and put it in a friendship feelings and all of the things you did for me, I thought you were just being nice because you're a nice guy", you clarified.

"Does this mean you're letting me treat you like you deserve? Because I plan on making sure you feel and know you're wonderful every single day", he smiled charmingly, confident words contrasting with his shy attempt of lacing your fingers together on his lap.

"How can you be so sure we are eachother's person?", you couldn't help but mumble, even if the butterflies in your stomach were dancing like they hadn't been in a long time, "I just know, and I'll help you see it, too", he smiled, kissing your knuckles before he pulled you to his chest, finding something to watch on the TV.

You both watched reruns of one of your favourite shows, pointing out little details you loved and talking about any topic that came to mind, and once Charles' body warmth and his touches along your arm caught up to your system and lulled you to sleep, your head finding it's spot on his chest as he smiled down at you, your beauty never ceasing to amaze him as he noticed every mole, freckle and scar on your face from up close.

Even if he didn't want to move, and that it wouldn't be the first time he slept on his sofa, he reasoned that he should at least offer you his bed. Softly stroking your cheek, he coaxed you to wake up, "I'm sorry for waking you up, but we can't sleep here", he whispered, kissing the side of your head, "you can sleep in my bed, I'll take the sofa", he offered as you stretched a little bit, removing yourself from his chest.

"If you promise you won't do any funny business, we can sleep in the same bed", you yawned.

"Of course I won't, Y/N! I would never do anything you didn't want to, I-", Charles panicked, not wanting you to think he was trying to take advantage of you.

"I'm only kidding, I know you won't", you assured, arms pulling him to stand up with you as you walked to the bedroom after turning everything off, "I trust you, Charles, completely", you smiled.

To him, it meant the world.

You felt his heart race when your hand landed on his chest, "I need a t-shirt, though, this is not comfy to sleep in", you reasoned as he looked for one on his drawers, "here, you can get ready here while I get ready in the bathroom", he smiled, kissing the top of your head before he stepped inside the ensuite.

After you swapped so you could brush your teeth, you were both undoing the bed, pulling the sheets back over you and having eachother.

"I really want to kiss you right now, but I don't want to cross any boundaries", Charles admitted as your heart raced in your chest, "I'd really like that, you can kiss me if you want", you consented.

Charles leaned to rub your nose in his before kissing your lips softly, allowing you both to revel in the feelings that had been put in labelled boxes at the back of your minds.

Parting your lips to breathe, you cupped Charles' cheek, your palm tickling from his facial hair as your thumb rubbed his skin, "I think you might be right", you mumbled, licking your lips, "about what?", he mused, "about the fact that you'll help me see it too", you smiled.

The next morning, you woke up with Charles looking at you, "Good morning, Y/N", he greeted, "See? I didn't pull any funny business", he wiggled his brows chuckling.

This was a sight you could get used to.

"Good morning", you smiled, "did you sleep well?", you wondered, pulling closer to him now that you were awake.

"I did, did you?", he asked and you nodded, cuddling closer to him and basking in the feeling of just being there.

"We are going to take this as slow as you want", Charles whispered against your forehead, leaving little kisses and pecks on your skin, "but I want you to know I'm all in".

"I'm all in, too", you whispered, "I can't promise you it will be a straight line - or that I won't spiral out every now and again because hey, it's me -, but I feel really good about this, you make me feel really good", you blushed as you kissed between his eyebrows, "having said this, not all of us have the day to do some training and sim racing, and I'm one of them. I have to go home to change and then head to the clinic", you pouted slightly.

"How about I make us some breakfast first, then I'll drop you off?", he suggested, stealing a peck from your lips, "hmm, sounds good", you hummed.

.

"Were you expecting us to be surprised?", Marta said as she and her family arrived in Charles' yacht, the three of them seeing you and Charles kissing at the table.

Throwing your head back in laughter as Charles walked up to help them inside, you shielded your eyes from the sun with your hand, "at least pretend you are", you joked.

"Oh my Goodness, I never thought you two would become a thing? Does this mean we can finally stop hearing your disgraced love life stories and Charles' complaints about who you went on a date with?", Riccardo belted out, catching the attention from a couple on the yacht next to the one you were sitting on.

"To be fair, that's how I noticed it", Marta began, "Charles didn't complain anymore about how he was alone and that the universe wasn't working on his favour", she smirked, greeting you two.

"We have been keeping it down low just to see how things would go", you blushed at getting caught and steering the conversation elsewhere once Chiara babbled at you, "Oh, baby girl, hello!", you cooed, pulling her into your arms.

"Soon enough you can get one of those, I bet your kid would be very very cute", Riccardo nudged Charles' shoulder, loving that the group now could have a few teasing moments and themes at your expense, all in good fun.

"What a warm welcome!", you heard your brother yell, a fake angry and ironic tone noticeable in his voice, "First, no one is here to greet me with a glass of something to drink or even a helping hand to step in", Joris clarified, "then I'm presented with a conversation about my sister's and my best friends sex life, which I don't want to know about by the way!!", he said as he came up to you, kissing the side of your head, "I'm happy she's happy, and that you're all happy together, but no talking about that, please!".

[natsgrave]

WHISPERS OF HEARTACHE | angstober

╰┈➤ synopsis: one day whether you are, 14, 28, or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. however, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find is they are not always with whom we spend our lives.

╰┈➤ welcome and short message: main m.list hello, my sweet gravels! i am thrilled to welcome you to "whispers of heartache," a collection of angst-filled one shots centered around the compelling characters of natasha romanoff / scarlett johansson, wanda maximoff / elizabeth olsen, and a female reader. this book is a labor of love, crafted from my deep admiration for these characters and my passion for storytelling. in this book, you will find a series of emotionally charged stories that delve into the complexities of love, loss, and heartache. each one shot will be written in the third person point of view, offering a broad perspective on the intense and often tumultuous emotions experienced by the characters. i must share that english is not my first language. therefore, you may encounter some grammatical errors or awkward phrasing throughout the stories. i appreciate your understanding and patience as i strive to improve my writing skills. my goal is to convey the depth of emotions and the intricate dynamics between the characters, even if my language skills are still a work in progress. angst has a unique power to connect with readers on a deep, emotional level. it explores the raw, often painful aspects of human relationships and personal struggles. through these stories, i hope to capture the essence of what it means to love and to lose, to fight and to surrender. each tale is crafted to evoke empathy and reflection, inviting you to experience the characters' journeys as if they were your own. your reblogs and feedback is incredibly valuable to me. as i embark on this storytelling journey, i welcome your thoughts, suggestions, and constructive criticism. please feel free to leave comments and reviews. your input will not only help me grow as a writer but also ensure that the stories resonate with you, the readers. thank you for joining me in this exploration of the whispers of heartache. i hope that these one shots will touch your heart and leave a lasting impression. happy reading! warm regards, G.J ps: i will be adding the first few angst that i already wrote in this masterlist even though it's technically not part of this masterlist. but, it's angst, so...

╰┈➤ tolerate it

while you were out building other worlds, where was i? you assume i'm fine, but what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins? ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x gf!reader

╰┈➤ new year's day

i want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day. please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere. ── .✦ pairing: sister's bsf!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ midnight rain

she was sunshine, i was midnight rain. she wanted a bride, i was making my own name, chasing that fame. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ you're losing me

how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? do i throw out everything we built or keep it? and you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ in the next lifetime

but in those photos, i saw us instead and, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other in another life. you still would've turned my head even if we'd met. you're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be timeless. ── .✦ pairing: general's son!steve x general's daughter!reader, maid!natasha x general's daughter!reader, scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the manuscript

the only thing that's left is the manuscript. one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. now and then i reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the smallest woman who ever lived

and i don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x ex hydra!reader

╰┈➤ favorite crime

i hope i was your favorite crime, 'cause baby, you were mine. ── .✦ pairing: bsf!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ mean it

on your lips just leave it, if you don't mean it. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x gf!reader

╰┈➤ love me nicely

i know you love me, but could you love me nicely? ── .✦ pairing: toxic!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ if the world was ending

i know, you know, we know, you weren't down for forever and it's fine. i know, you know, we know, we weren't meant for each other and it's fine. but if the world was ending you'd come over, right? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ soulmate

what a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away. taking down the pictures and the plans we made. big mistake, you broke the sweetest promise that you never should have made. ── .✦ pairing: fiance!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ greatest what if

someday when you leave me, i bet these memories follow you around. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ heart

i knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed. should've known i'd be the first to leave think about the place where you first met me. ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x crush!reader

╰┈➤ too late

words— how little they mean when you're a little too late. ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!steve, husband!bucky x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i miss you

now, i fear i have fallen from grace and i feel like my castle's crumbling down. ── .✦ pairing: actress!scarlett x actress!reader

╰┈➤ wedding

sometimes giving up is the strong thing, sometimes to run is the brave thing, sometimes walking out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing. the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul, you know when it's time to go. ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x event planner!reader

╰┈➤ last memory

if i didn't know better, i'd think you were talking to me now. if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around. what died didn't stay dead, you're alive, so alive, in my head. ── .✦ pairing: agent!elizabeth x agent!reader

╰┈➤ thank you

why'd you have to lead me on? why'd you have to twist the knife? walk away and leave me bleedin'. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ we both had our chance

i persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i hate you

remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it's time now gotta let go. but moving on from her is impossible, when i still see it all in my head, in burning red. ── .✦ pairing: shitty!scarlett x annoying!reader

╰┈➤ on bended knee

can we go back to the days our love was strong? can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong? can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they use to be? oh god give me a reason, i'm down on bended knee. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x actress!reader

╰┈➤ the cut that always bleeds

oh, i could be anything you need, as long as you don't leave. the cut that always bleeds. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett x gf!reader

╰┈➤ backburner

i'll always be in your corner, 'cause i don't feel alive 'til i'm burnin' on your backburner. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x agent!reader

╰┈➤ the great war

we can plant a memory garden, say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair. there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ enough for you

and maybe i'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before but god, you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more. 'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you and all i ever wanted was to be enough for you. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x insecure!reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ to be written:

╰┈➤ 1 step forward, 3 steps back

do you love me, want me, hate me? boy, i don't understand. no, i don't understand.

╰┈➤ better woman

i know the bravest thing i ever did was run.

╰┈➤ strange

isn't it strange how people can change. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?

╰┈➤ lose you to love me

we'd always go into it blindly, i needed to lose you to find me. this dancing was killing me softly, i needed to hate you to love me.

╰┈➤ almost is never enough

almost is never enough, so close to being in love. if i would have known that you wanted me, the way i wanted you then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.

╰┈➤ wish you were sober

kiss me in the seat of your rover, real sweet, but i wish you were sober.

╰┈➤ same ground

because i have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine, the more it clears, the more i have to let you go.

╰┈➤ the way i loved you

but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it's 2 a.m. and i'm cursing your name. so in love that you act insane and that's the way i loved you.

╰┈➤ champagne problems

your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my champagne problems.

╰┈➤ last kiss

you told me you loved me, so why did you go away?

╰┈➤ maroon

the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was. the mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, the lips i used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon.

╰┈➤ loml

you said i'm the love of your life about a million times.

╰┈➤ consequences

loving you was sunshine, safe and sound, a steady place to let down my defenses but loving you had consequences.

╰┈➤ casual

i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose.

╰┈➤ illicit affairs

they show their truth one single time but they lie, and they lie, and they lie a million little times.

╰┈➤ forever and always

oh back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything? back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 3

Identifying Limiting Beliefs

Hey Goddesses! Today we're going to talk about something that might be holding you back without you even realizing it, those sneaky limiting beliefs that like to camp out in our minds. You know, those little voices that whisper "you're not good enough" or "you'll never be able to do that"? Yeah, those ones. I've been there too, and I want to share some things I've learned along the way.

First off, what exactly are limiting beliefs? Think of them as those stubborn thoughts that pop up whenever you're about to try something new or chase after a dream. They're like those well-meaning but overly cautious friends who always tell you to "be realistic", except they live in your head rent-free.

Think of your mind like a garden. Some thoughts are like flowers that help you grow, but limiting beliefs? They're like weeds that can take over if we let them. Today, we're going to do some gentle but necessary weeding.

The Beliefs Audit

Grab your journal or open your Notes app (seriously, do it right now, I'll wait!). Let's start with a simple but powerful exercise. Complete these sentences honestly:

"I can't achieve my dreams because..."

"I'm not good at..."

"I'll never be able to..."

"People like me don't..."

"I'm too ___ to..."

Notice any patterns? These are your limiting beliefs showing themselves. And hey, recognizing them is already a huge step forward!

Where Do These Come From? Take a moment to think about when you first started believing these things. Maybe it was:

Something someone said to you long ago

A past experience that left a mark

Messages you absorbed from family or society

Past failures that you're still carrying

Understanding the source helps us see these beliefs for what they are: stories we've been telling ourselves, not unchangeable facts.

The Belief Breaker Challenge

Here's a powerful truth: just because you've thought something for a long time doesn't make it true. Let's try something: Pick one of your limiting beliefs and ask yourself:

Is this absolutely, 100% true?

What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?

Would I say this to my best friend?

How might my life be different if I didn't believe this?

The Belief Makeover

Once you've spotted these limiting beliefs, it's time to give them a makeover. For every limiting belief you've identified, write down an alternative perspective. For example: Instead of "I'm too old to start something new" Try "My experience gives me unique advantages in learning new things"

Take each limiting belief you wrote down earlier and write its opposite. Feel resistance? That's normal! We're challenging thoughts that might have been with you for years.

Here's your action plan for today:

Choose ONE limiting belief to work on first (don't overwhelm yourself!)

Write it down

Write your new, empowering belief

Each morning this week, read your new belief out loud

Keep a small note in your phone of evidence that supports your new belief

Take one tiny action that proves it wrong, for example, maybe you've always believed you're "not creative", try doodling for five minutes today

The Permission Slip

Here's something fun: Write yourself a permission slip. Seriously! "I, [your name], give myself permission to believe that I am capable of [whatever you're working toward]." It might feel silly, but sometimes we just need to give ourselves explicit permission to believe in our potential.

Remember, gorgeous, your limiting beliefs are not facts. They're not your destiny. They're just thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. It takes time and practice, but every time you challenge a limiting belief, you create space for something better to grow.

You might be surprised at how many doors start opening once you begin questioning these old beliefs. And hey, if you're reading this and thinking "This won't work for me", congratulations! You've just caught your first limiting belief in action!

What limiting belief are you ready to let go of? Drop a comment below, sometimes just naming it publicly takes away some of its power. And, you might find others are working on the same things.

See you tomorrow for Day 4 of our journey to become our best selves before 2025!

♡ ☆:.｡ Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[crow-raven-crow]

Listen we need more 👏older👏 virgin 👏larissa

Obviously it needs to be sub!Larissa 😆

Larissa and the reader have been together a long time but haven't slept together, leading to Larissa admitting she's inexperienced, super fluffy cute smut about reader showing Larissa all there is and Larissa having the best night of her life and feeling super loved 🫠

I love love love your writing and thought you'd make a perfect story ❤️

𝐒𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 ��𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 - [𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝟏𝟖+]

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

Larissa Weems x f!reader words: ~4.2k 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: fluff, nsfw, sub!Larissa, dom!Reader, virgin Larissa, oral sex, fingering, strap-on, praise kink, biting, marking, scratching, begging

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see above

masterlist

AO3 link in title

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

a/n: I COMPLETELY AGREE. I AGREE SO HARD sub!Larissa is so fucking cute to me for some reason and I'm glad I got a req to do it ehheheh. I like writing both, but it should be fun to finally be able to do the other perspective.

Thank you for trusting me with writing this! and for complimenting my writing <33 it means the world. i hope you enjoy, anon !

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You laid on the couch in your private quarters, the flames roaring as the overcast sky settled itself for the weekend, the small pattering of the rain landing on the window was tuned out as you held a book in your hands and welcomed a familiar weight on your chest - your lover, Larissa Weems.

Retiring to your quarters for the day was something that had become a routine for the two of you after months of dating - it had become a shared sanctuary for the both of you, especially Larissa as it let her be completely away from her work at the end of the day, all her worries fading away whenever she stepped through the doorway.

She was mindlessly twirling a lock of your hair between her fingers, taking in your scent with each breath as her cheek rested against your chest, watching her favorite show as you enjoyed each others company. Your free hand was tracing along her back, providing her comfort and making her subconsciously aware that you weren't leaving her side.

In the months that you had been dating, you had let Larissa set the pace of where this wanted to go. Being a professor and a principal at the same school definately had its ups and downs, but you made it work, regardless. Communication was the biggest thing in your relationship, making sure that any miscommunications or misunderstandings were made clear in a gentle tone, not wanting to upset the other and both knowing better than working on negative emotions.

You always tried to give her all the love that she deserved, all the love that she, sadly, never got from others. It pained you to think about the things that the precious woman right under your touch had been through, the days of heartbreak, the nights being unable to sleep, the countless amount of restless hours she had gone through without someone by her side to make her feel safe.

You vowed, since the moment you met her, you would always make her feel safe and comfortable in your company.

A large sigh had come from the peaceful beauty, breaking you from your focus on the book as a commercial played on the screen. Her hand had moved from your hair to trail under your shirt, tracing her fingertips along your stomach, her eyes looking down at your smooth skin.

You took a moment to look at her form. She wore an oversized sweater you owned, saying something along the lines of how your clothes were more comfortable, but you knew how much she loved to wear your things, so you let her. Her legs were bent with your own as a blanket covered the both of you slightly. She seemed so comfortable and so at ease, it melted your heart.

You put a bookmark along your pages and set the book gently on the side table behind you. You moved your hands to rub Larissa's shoulders, getting rid of any tension she still held there before kissing the top of her head and moving to gently pull all the pins from her hair. You set them all on top of your book and massaged her scalp, eliciting a rumbling hum from your lover.

"You know I'm the luckiest woman in the world, right?" You said softly, not wanting to break her gaze from her favorite show. However, she shuffled to look up at you, her chin resting on your chest, with a dreamy look in her eyes. A curious smile rose to her lips as she chuckled.

"And what makes you say that, my love?" You heart rate rose as a blush flooded your cheeks, you were sure she could feel it pounding in your chest underneath her touch from her actions. The sight in front of you was one you wanted to commit to memory. The way the flames casted an orange glow on her features and how her hair was sprawled out beneath her, long enough to fall down her sides and over the expanse of her back - it was as though there was a goddess living among you, especially with the spark in her eyes.

"Because…" You started to sit up a bit, moving to the side to flip her underneath you, your hands landing at her sides to hold you above her after guiding hers to rest at your shoulders. "I just so happen to be the lover of the smartest, most patient, elegant, regal, alluring- gods, I could go on.. The point is that I'm so lucky to have you.."

In between each compliment, you kissed a different part of her face, ending with a soft kiss on her lips as you finished your small ramble. When you broke away, she had the biggest smile on her face, meeting her eyes and casting a deep blush along her features. Your words had hit her heart, engulfing it in a warm hold.

"I love you.." There was nothing but sincerity behind her words, her thumb stroking along your cheek softly as she said as much. You kissed the pad of her finger before leaning down again.

"And I love you, sweet girl.." Your lips captured hers in a passionate kiss, coursing electricity through the both of you as your tongue swiped along her bottom lip. She smiled as she denied your access, a tease she loved to do from time to time, but you knew her weak spots.

You drew your hands under her sweater, your cold palms meeting the warm skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake as she shivered. You scratched down her sides, pulling a moan from the woman underneath you and creating an opportunity to explore her wet cavern.

You took your time exploring her mouth, your tongues moving in tandem before you pulled away, biting her bottom lip gently. You both paused for a moment, taking in each others forms and soaking in just how much you loved each other. Just as you were about to bring your lips back to hers, she spoke.

"Darling.." Her tone was soft and just above a whisper as she spoke. A worried expression filled your features as you thought of what she could be dwelling on so intensely.

"Is something wrong, love?" You asked, concern lacing your tone as you began to sit up only to be pulled back down by strong arms. The action made you laugh, a smile replacing your concerned notes as you looked back down at the sapphire goddess.

"Nothing's wrong.. I just- I wanted to.." It seemed like she couldn't bring herself to say whatever was on her mind, breaking eye contact with you to flutter her eyes all around the room - it only made you more curious as your smile grew at her actions. You grabbed her chin softly, moving it so her gaze was locked back onto yours, before speaking.

"What is it you want, sweet one? I can only help so much if I don't know the details, hmm?" Your tone was caring and curious, a blush filled her features at the forced eye contact, exposing just how much it flustered her.

"I.. Could we try- Can we-" A defeated and near frustrated sigh left her lips as she shut her eyes. She took in a breath in attempt to ground herself, before facing you again. "I want to sleep with you, y/n.."

You laughed at that. You had never seen her so flustered and so all over the place, it was something you would cherish as she felt safe enough to even bring the topic up. You always wondered when you would get to this point, not dwelling on if it would take months or years, you just wanted her to feel solid enough in her desires and wants before you dove in that direction.

You moved to sit up, successfully this time, as you pulled her up with you. You flashed a reassuring smile back at her as you rubbed her arms, tracing your hands up to cup her face. "You want to have sex with me?"

The question that left your lips only seemed to make her fluster more, the blush darkening as a quiet response was thrown your way.

"Yes.." She was adorable. You couldn't get over the bashful version of the woman before you, it was a sight you haven't seen often, so you tried to remember every feature and every emotion that crossed her before it faded away.

You moved your hands down to hers, holding them in a gentle grip. "This is something you want?" There was a glimmer of insecurity in your tone, there for mere seconds, before it disappeared. You were answered with a nod, something that caused you to throw a knowing look her.

"I need words, my love.." Your tone was soft, visibly settling her nerves as her shoulders relaxed and she let out a sigh. She looked deep into your eyes before speaking, only being met back with love and safety.

"Yes, I want this.. I really want this with you.. I've, however.. ..I-I've never done this before.." The admission shocked you, something she saw turn into confusion. You didn't understand how someone like her, someone so beautiful, so graceful, so intelligent, didn't have paramores or anyone before you that had good intentions other than this.

"And that's perfectly fine, Larissa.." Your reaction surprised her, as though she was waiting from the worst from you. It saddened you at the possibility of her being met with anything but understanding, knowing that she was probably picking at her own mind and every insecurity she had before becoming confident enough in the bond you both shared before bringing it up.

"We won't do anything you don't want or don't like, okay? If you end up not liking something or want me to stop then I want you to tell me. I want you to feel exactly how much I love you, and I plan on translating as much into every action I give you.."

A big sigh escaped her as she completely relaxed, her shoulders dropping and her jaw unclenching as she squeezed your hands softly, a small smile making itself known at her lips. "I'll tell you.."

"Good. Now, come here.." You stood up and guided her to the bed you shared in a gentle hold, the cool air of the room causing goosebumps to rise along both of your arms as the blanket no longer covered your bodies, but you ignored it as care ran through your veins and excitement ran through hers.

You guided her onto your lap, something you both loved, before pulling her arms to completely rest at your shoulders, pulling her near flush against you as you held her waist securely. You searched her eyes for any uncertainty only to find none, her eyes looking down at your lips just moments after. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and it felt as though your breathing had stopped at the small action alone.

You brought a hand behind her neck and pulled her in gently, crashing your lips into hers. You could tell with how her lips moved along with yours that she had wanted this for quite some time, meeting you with desperation and a moan as you took the opportunity to bring your tongue to hers.

Your hands moved along her smooth skin agonizingly slow for the blonde, exploring every dip and giving her thighs a firm squeeze before beginning to move them up her shirt, higher higher higher until you completely took the garment off of her.

You couldn't take your eyes off her as you took in her form, your eyes raking over the complete expanse of her exposed skin that was finally making itself known to you. Your hands moved up her body and traced along the underside of her bra with your thumbs, your eyes fluttering shut with desire at the small whimper that left her lips.

Your eyes met hers, she had her bottom lip between her teeth as her chest heaved slightly, a blush apparent on her cheeks matched with pupils blown with her desire for you. You took a moment to reach down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it off you completely in one swift movement so she wouldn't feel any insecurity at being the only one showing more skin.

You brought a hand to her neck, your fingers guiding themselves up under her chin and pulling her face closer only to move it, missing her lips, to speak softly in her ear. "Is this still okay, my love?"

Your hot breath ghosted over her neck, a shiver running a course down her spine as her eyes fluttered shut for a quick moment. You felt her nod slightly, causing you to move back and raise your eyebrow, your fingertips moving to hold her chin ever so slightly. The action made her swallow hard, her breath hitching as you made her look at you again.

"Y-Yes, sorry.." A small smirk lifted your lips, shooting her a proud look at her quick memory. You leaned in quickly, stopping just in front of her lips to watch her lean in, only for you to move back as she chased you. She noticed this, and her eyes fluttered back open, being met with your lips just a hair away from hers.

"Good girl.." You said before slamming your lips into hers, swallowing the whimper she had let out at the praise. She kissed you back with a newfound ferocity, her hands quickly traveling over your shoulders and torso. She had quickened up everything about her actions and you held in a chuckle after you had noticed that. You pulled away slightly, causing her actions to stop as she looked back at you.

"Slow down, Larissa.. I'm not going anywhere.." Your words seemed to heavily settle her, and you couldn't help but notice that. You shifted, moving her to rest against the pillowy mattress as her white locks of hair sprawled out and curled along the thick blankets and pillows of your bed. You gave her the softest of kisses while doing so, putting more reassurance in your words. "Let me love you.."

You had whispered those words against her lips, and you heard her suck in a breath. You moved your lips in a trail down her jawline, moving down her neck and meeting her pulse point. You bit down on the skin softly before smoothing your tongue over the area and sucking.

The sensation that rippled through her sent a heat to her core, her hand tangling itself in your hair as she moved her head to the side to give you more access. You left a few more marks of different sizes before pulling away slightly and looking at your work, a slightly sinister smile gracing your features, knowing it would take her a little bit to cover them up.

Your lips traveled down and trailed kisses along her chest, smoothing out your tongue and biting the exposed parts of her breasts. A moan left her as you moved your hands under her bra and smoothed your thumbs against her nipples, her nails digging into your shoulder slightly. "Y/n.. please.."

Oh..

That was something you never heard before..

But you'd be lying if you said you didn't want, didn't need to hear her beautiful moans escape her throat, your name fall from her lips over and over again..

One of your hands snaked around her torso, unclasping her bra from around her and pulling it down her shoulders and arms. You threw it to the side and were met with a mouthwatering sight beneath you, and you couldn't help but moan as you worried your bottom lip. Her features were flushed and we pupils were as dilated as they could be, her chest rose and fell quickly with her breaths and her hands rested on either side of her head.

This was definately something you could quickly find addicting..

"I want you, y/n.."

That sentence alone was enough to break any of your remaining resolve, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss before trailing down her body again. You left dark marks all along her chest before rolling your tongue over her right bud, capturing it with your lips shortly after as your hand toyed with the other.

A broken moan left her lips as her back arched a bit, pushing more of herself to you. You moved to the other bud, needing to give it the same amount of attention, as you pulled delicious moans from the goddess beneath you.

You trailed your lips down the rest of her body, getting rid of every article of clothing that still stood in your way as you kissed and bit down her thighs, getting rid of the rest of your own quickly after. You loved how much she was squirming under your touch, every trace, every pinch, every squeeze making her increasingly needier.

You looked over her completely, your breath lost in your chest as you took in how absolutely drenched she had become.

"You are every dream come true.. My needy girl," You traced two fingers through her slit, her hips bucking at the contact and a near pornographic moan leaving her lips as you circled her clit before pulling your hand away completely.

"So wet for me already.." You brought the hand up to your lips while you spoke, taking them in your mouth when you finished. You groaned at the taste of her and decided that you needed more. "Absolutely delicious.."

You kissed back down her other leg, the smell of her arousal increasing as you continued to tease her. You hooked your arms around her thighs, keeping her squirming down a bit, before kissing along her slit.

"Please, please, y/n I-" She was cut off by an unadulterated moan rushing out of her, the feeling of your tongue licking through her folds giving her the pleasure she had been craving. You dipped your tongue as far into her entrance as you could, taking as much of her juices as you could, moaning again at the taste of her.

The vibrations had sent a wave of pleasure through her, her core growing increasingly sensitive as her breaths got quicker and her moans became unfiltered. You brought your tongue up to circle her clit, sucking on the sensitive bud right after. One of her hands tangled itself into your hair, pulling you closer to where she needed you, while the other fisted the sheets beneath her, her back arching at the intense waves of pleasure you were giving her.

"More, I- F-Fuck! Please-" You brought a finger to her entrance, easily pushing into her soaked cunt. After giving her time to adjust, you added another, feeling her thighs squirm on either side of your head and threatening to close around it as she clenched around your fingers, pulling a moan from you. "You're doing so good for me.."

You started moving them at a nice speed as her hips bucked for more friction. The moans you were pulling from her were sinful, and lustful pride filled your chest knowing you were able to have her come undone so deliciously.

You increased your ministrations, curling your fingers in such a way that had her seeing stars as her moans got louder. You could tell she was close as her grip increased and her core tightened. You curled your fingers and sucked on her sensitive bud at the same time, pulling a loud cry from the woman before she shuddered beneath you, her juices flowing out and you took everything she gave you as you helped her ride out her high.

You kissed back up her body, your hands smoothing over her skin as you moved. She pulled you by your shoulders and crashed her lips against you, swiping her tongue along your bottom lip. She moaned at the taste of herself on your lips and against your tongue.

You broke away after a moment, taking in her flushed form, seeing lust still swirling in her eyes. She'd be the death of you as she'd already become an addiction you wouldn't dare get rid of.

"Do you think you could do one more for me, darling?" You whispered against her lips, and she pulled you closer to her. She licked her lips softly as she stared at yours with half lidded eyes.

"Yes, please.. I want more.. I wanna cum for you again, please.." The desperation and want in her tone had made your eyes flutter shut as your eyes rolled back. You were sure her pleas alone would be able to get you off, but you didn't want to be finished with her just yet.

You took a box from your bedside table and opened it, revealing a strap on that would make you feel everything as well, and it was something she seemed to notice as her eyes widened, only to fill with need. It was something that you had saved for this moment, and your mouth watered at the idea of slipping into her.

"You are so easily addicting.." You said after you finished putting it on. She bit her bottom lip and you couldn't help but stare. You really couldn't understand how someone could be this beautiful, but a smile rose to your lips as you took in just how much of a mess you'd made her so far.

"It's going to sting a bit, love.. When you're ready, tell me when to move, hmm?"

After receiving a needy 'yes' from her lips, you ran it along her slit, before slowly pushing into her. Your body shuddered, and a low moan left your chest at the feeling of filling her up. Her nails dug into your back and shoulders at the stretch, whines being pulled from the woman before she took you completely. She gave you the sign to move, and you started off at a slow pace, helping her get used to it.

Moans and whimpers started to leave her lips again as her head fell back in pleasure. You left kisses along her skin as you moved, your own moans ghosting along its canvas. "So good for me, Rissa.. You're taking me so well, my good girl.."

Her moans left her at every thrust, her walls fluttering around the strap, nearly making you topple over in the pleasure you got from not only being inside her and feeling it but also the sight of her beneath you as her rushed, needy pleas flowed out of her lips.

"Please, please, y/n- oh! F-Fuck, I-I'm close, please! Fuc-Fuck!" Her moans grew higher in pitch as your thrusts quickened, her nails digging into your skin as you were sure there would be marks left there for a while, not that you were complaining. You felt your own high starting to build, her walls fluttering around you, making the chase for it absolutely divine.

"Cum for me, Riss.." With your voice raspy and low, it was as though your voice alone was what was able to send her over the edge, her back arching and her eyes squeezing shut as you followed right behind her, each others names leaving your lips as you both came.

With heavy breaths, you helped her ride out her high before pulling out of her slowly, still causing a whimper to leave her throat at the empty feeling. You took the strap off and threw it to the side to be an issue for later, before taking a rag out of the same drawer it came form to clean up your love as she laid back in her blissed-out state.

You moved to lay beside her, pulling a blanket over the two of you before capturing her in your arms. She dove into your embrace, your warmth and safety something she sought out as she came back to reality. You pressed kisses along her hairline as you traced your fingertips along her back. "You did so well for me, so so good for me, Larissa.. How are you feeling, my love?"

She pressed a kiss against your neck before moving her head to face you. She smiled as she met your gaze, seeing nothing but love in your eyes. You cupped her cheek, softly moving your thumb against it before planting a kiss to her forehead. "That was amazing.."

You couldn't help but laugh as the words left her. You took her in after all that just happened between you two, and it was crazy how you thought you still fell for her more than you already had.

The rain raced down the glass of your windows as it kept falling from the clouds above, but the fire that was once dancing along the logs of the fireplace was a dormant ember, casting red etches along the wood it sat on. You relaxed into each others embrace, settling there for the rest of the night as exhaustion held you both in its increasing grip, the comfort and safety you had for each other making it an easy choice as you fell asleep under the thick covers together, knowing you wouldn't be leaving each others side.

~~

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𝐚/𝐧: THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE HELLO??

We can tell by the word count but HOOLLLLLYYY This is where I want to be when it comes to writing stuff like this. It was so fulfilling seeing not only the word count but also the amount of detail I was able to put into it this time.

Anon, thank you SO much for the ask. I don't think we have a lot of sub!Larissa out there, so being someone to add to the fuel is fun even if I get both sides of writing for her.

I have some other asks but since the weekend is right here that means series time !! if all goes well, the next chapter will be out by the end of the weekend hehehhe. I'm excited for it lol

if you want to be added to my taglist for all my works you can DM me or comment on the post. Look at this post to see if you might have issues being tagged

I hope I wrote this to justice, anon ;)

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧

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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

@eveymay @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @finnja555 @barbarasstar @s-c-rambledegggs @vendocrap8008 @gwendolinechristieiscute @lilfartbox1

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[domwitch]

I was just thinking about how... weirdly comforting cnc can be?

I have a lot of hangups and insecurities when it comes to sex and sexual desire. Actually, in general, I have a hard time asking people for things that I want 😭 So the idea that I could love and trust someone enough to let them *force* me is so freeing, actually. It's okay that I'm nervous, she's going to take me anyway. It doesn't matter if I'm scared, or even if I protest. My body is getting used, and that's just how it's going to be. And the thing is that I'll *like* it. It's going to feel so good, she just had to make it so I didn't have a choice. Having my choice taken away is not only hot for kinky reasons, it's an excuse for me to relax and just let myself enjoy being fucked.

And on the flip side (because despite my trepidation, I do feel that I'm a switch), it would be so freeing and validating to have someone trust me enough to basically tell me "do whatever you want, it's ok. It's even ok if you hurt me a little. I'll still love you. I'll still want you. Let out all the gross and selfish desires you've been holding back. I want to enjoy that side of you."

Idk if this is a thing all guys experience, or if it's more specific to my upbringing, but it's always been so frustrating to me that, in regards to romance and sex, I've always been taught that I have to be polite and gentle and perfect, but I also have to take charge. I have to be the man. But not too much.

Idk, I know it's not for everyone, but I'd love to find someone who I can just indulge with. And we can both agree that we want each other, and there are no limits or niceties except the ones we establish together.

That's what cnc is to me. The beauty of trust and lust, without any shame, whether you're using or being used. And afterwards, we can check in with each other, and reassure each other that we're ok. That nothing was ruined. That's what I want with someone I can truly give myself over to.

(Sorry this got long winded 😭 Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head and I want to share them. Hope you have a lovely new year 🤍)

Wow, your take on cnc is really romantic! It's nice to hear from the other side why cnc is a turn on. I can def relate to the part where cnc is like letting loose all of your "ugly" desires, it really is liberating and wonderful to have someone who trusts you so completely that they let you do that to them. Personally I find cnc hot because I get to be a horrible person without consequences and that makes me feel powerful, but your perspective is so much more sensitive and romantic which I admire.

[frownyalfred]

Hello! A random and specific question has occurred to me, and I think you might have some thoughts, if you're ok with answering!

So, most of the time Judaism is passed down matrilineally. I know there are some exceptions, and some groups that believe Judaism can be passed down through either parent, but generally it's just through the mother. This is how dc accidentally made Bruce Jewish.

However, is it the birthing parent who makes a child Jewish? Or is it strictly the mother, regardless of if she gives birth to the child or not?

I know that sounds like I'm asking about trans Jewish people, but I'm actually curious how this would play out in a world where mpreg is normalized, like in an abo alternate universe. For instance, if Bruce is Jewish and gets pregnant as an omega, would his kids also be Jewish? I did look up perspectives on trans Jewish people having kids, and unsurprisingly views are divided but it seemed like people mostly consider the birthing parent being important, i.e. a trans Jewish man would have Jewish children regardless of the other parent. What are your thoughts on this, if you're open to sharing?

(This ask got longer than I meant, sorry I wrote you a whole essay lol. Also I really hope this doesn't come across as rude, and I sincerely apologize if it does. Tone is difficult on the internet!)

Oh, that's a very very interesting question. Another one I'd like to ask my rabbi if I ever work up the nerve.

I'm no scholar, so if someone else wants to correct me on this one, feel free. But here's my best guess:

The gist of matrilineal descent is that it emerged from a time when the only way you could guarantee that a child was Jewish was to witness the birth from a Jewish mother. Rape, missing fathers, etc all made it a grey area, and back then, it was the only way to be "sure" that a child was halachically Jewish.

The interesting thing is, this was a change from patrilineal descent, but people still argue about when that change happened. Depending on the denomination, matrilineal descent is very very important beyond just determining Judaism, or it's a vestigial practice that has stuck around because it's, well, tradition.

Now, origin and existence are two different things. While it might have emerged for certain reasons, modern standards have obviously changed. We can do DNA tests and other rituals. But a lot of major denominations will turn away patrilineal Jews or hold those with Jewish DNA at arm's length until their Jewishness has been determined. That's only changed recently, and even then very slowly.

So, now that that's out of the way -- how does this relate to omegaverse? I suppose carriers in a/b/o universes would be considered de facto mothers, because they give birth. From my (limited) understanding, the core of most strict matrilineal arguments are 1) we've always done it this way post reception of the Torah 2) it was the only way to ensure someone was Jewish and 3) there are inherent attributes to mothers/the feminine that Rabbis argue are metaphysical and important to consider.

But it depends on how you write omegas. Are they defined by their ability to birth? Are they dual sex or single sex? Do they have the ability to sire offspring in addition to carrying them? Do they serve a "motherly" role in addition to giving birth? All things to consider.

Me personally, I'm a big proponent of accepting all Jews as they are, as long as they're not proselytizing or cosplaying as Jewish from another religion. It's a closed practice but we're also dwindling in number, so turning away people because their father was Jewish and not their mother is bizarre to me. Especially if they were raised in the religion -- at that point it's a technicality, but many rabbis will still make you go through a conversion which is wild to me.

I would throw out there, for the sake of omegaverse -- if the carrier is Jewish, generally, in most cases, the pups are Jewish. That makes sense to me.

[what-even-is-thiss]

could you share your thoughts on Christianity and the lgbt community? Not in a like "'oh yeah well how are you this and that if you're REALLY Christian"' kind of way, I'm asking from the perspective of someone who's been struggling with their spirituality because I don't know how I can believe and god and also be gay. Feel free not to answer this though, you shouldn't have to explain yourself to random people every time you mention your religion

There’s not a lot of mentions of what we would consider to be homosexuality in the Bible. Paul mentions it most explicitly but there’s some important things to remember about Paul. First, he’s just some guy. He did important work spreading the religion but that doesn’t mean that he’s right about everything. Second, his only exposure to homosexuality likely came from the Roman elite. And the way they did it usually involved raping slave boys and hiring young prostitutes. They didn’t usually have same sex relations in the way we think of them now. Men didn’t generally have romantic relationships with each other into adulthood and a full adult citizen being passive during sex was considered to be scandalous. Any actual romantic relationships between adults of the same sex were likely kept secret or at least weren’t talked about loudly. So Paul is living in this environment. And people aren’t completely separate from the environments they live in.

For the most part stuff in the Bible that’s translated as condemning homosexuality is referring to certain cultural practices common in the Mediterranean at the time that we also wouldn’t like today. Such as pederasty, also known as a romanticized form of pedophilia that even people at the time in cultures that practiced it heavily criticized. Consenting adults often did have romantic or sexual relations together but they weren’t commonly open about it.

Overall, the Bible just doesn’t have much to say about liking someone of the same gender if you look at instances outside of things alluding to some of the worse stuff the Greeks and Romans did. So if the Bible doesn’t say much about it, that leaves it up to us to logically deduce our personal feelings about it.

Okay. So what are the two main commandments Jesus gives us? Love your neighbor as yourself, and love god with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Basically: love God, love others, love yourself. These are said to be the rules that all other commandments stem from and supersede all other commandments in terms of importance.

So. Does being queer stop you from loving God? Loving others? Loving yourself?

Science is real. It helps us learn more and more about the universe God created all the time and science has proven time and time again that being queer isn’t a choice and that people are happier when they live more authentically.

God made you the way you are. You cannot control whether you’re queer or not. So it’s not a mistake in you that can be “fixed”. If humans were made in the image of God, you too are an image of God. So some tiny part of God, however small, looks like you. All of you. Including the queer parts.

So then. Are you loving God? Including the parts of God that are like you? Are you loving your fellow humans? Including your fellow lgbt humans? Are you doing your best to love yourself? Every part of yourself?

I don’t take the Bible fully literally. You can’t. It contradicts itself constantly. But even if you did, the world it was written for and the society that made the oral traditions it was based on no longer exist. At least not in the exact same way they once did. What the Bible does have in it is stories that can give us examples and have informed the formation of our culture as Christians. Christianity has changed a lot over the last 2,000 years. Many forms of it have come and gone. Ultimately it’s up to us as modern Christians what kind of world we want to be apart of and contribute to and what culture we want to make among ourselves. I can’t pretend to know the true nature of God but I do know that God inspires me to reduce suffering and speak up for injustice where I can.

Ultimately your interpretation is up to you. But I personally don’t see needless self flagellation over something you can’t control as an act of justice or love. Just a form of self torture that’s ultimately not adding much to the world. Adding some of your own happiness to the world in my opinion isn’t a problem.

If you want to know how being queer has affected my faith, I’ve never doubted for a second that being lgbt+ is fine. To be honest I’ve been more afraid of secular society not accepting me than God. God and I have wrestled before, but almost never over that. I am how I am and if God didn’t want me to be this way he probably wouldn’t have flipped the gay switch in my brain.

[jennycouldyoucomebackhome]

Hello and welcome to my essay on why Bulletproof Heart is the most transgender MCR song

First of all, my credentials: -I am trans -I have a Danger Days special interest and this album consumes many of my waking thoughts. (i mean, bulletproof heart url, lmao) -I am obsessed with queer interpretations of songs, especially when I can relate them to my personal experiences

Second of all, a short disclaimer that a lot of this is going to be how I personally interpret the lyrics. If you interpret them differently, I think that's great, and at no point am I claiming to have the sole true interpretation. I'm just having fun.

Next of all, the actual song. Bulletproof Heart on a surface level, is about running away from a suffocating town with someone you trust, and it's about hope and resilience in the face of adversity (and running away from the cops). Just starting with this surface level, you can already start to see why this song could resonate from a trans perspective, but I'm gonna dig further into it.

Gravity don't mean too much to me / I'm who I've got to be. The literal opening to the song and I've already got things to say about it. "I'm who I've got to be" stands out to me. It's not a matter of running away due to wanting to become someone new. It's about running away to start new as the person that you actually are. The line about gravity feels fairly self explanatory. Nothing can hold you down or stop you from running towards this goal, even the laws of physics.

Run away like it was yesterday / And we could run away / If we could run away, run away from here The desire to get out- the desire to run away to somewhere new where nobody knows who you used to be. That's something that resonates with a lot of trans people, myself very much included. The thought of running away to a place where nobody knows your deadname or what you used to look like, or potentially even that you're trans in the first place is something that sounds really appealing, especially to trans kids stuck in an unsupportive place.

I've got a bulletproof heart/You've got a hollow point smile./ Me and your runaway scars got a photograph dream on the getaway mile. I know that in my experience, it was really hard to get close to people as a young, mostly closeted trans person. It's easy to have a lot of walls up when you're afraid of being hurt or ostracized or seen differently than the other people around you. However, sometimes you meet people that break through your walls. They share your dreams of getting out. They've been hurt too, and they get you on a level most people don't.

Let's blow a hole in this town! / And do our talking with the laser beam. / Gunning out of this place in a bullet's embrace / Then we'll do it again. No more putting up with passive-aggressive comments to keep the peace. No more constantly explaining yourself to people who don't actually care. Just you, someone you care for, and the open road in front of you, off to wherever you're starting over. It feels good. It feels freeing. You'd do it a million times over.

(Okay now for the part I've been waiting for. I'm talking about both prechoruses at the same time)

How can they say / "Jenny could you come back home?" / 'Cause everybody knows you don't / Ever wanna come back.

The papers say / "Johnny won't you come back home?" / 'Cause everybody knows you don't / Wanna give yourself up.

Yes. I know this can be read as two separate people, Jenny and Johnny, being told they should come back "home," but they don't want to turn back to a place where they couldn't be themselves You can't "come back" without "[giving] yourself up". However, have you considered that they pack a massive transgender punch if you think about them as one person?

Jenny only having her name used when people are trying to get her to stay- get her back before she's "too far gone," but once they realize they aren't getting her back, the mask slips and the true colors of the people "back home" show themselves once she's already gone and they can't keep her there anymore.

Johnny running away and not even having his name acknowledged as he disappears forever. It's only used in the papers as a last ditch attempt to get him back. It won't work though. It's too late, and he won't turn back. He won't give himself up.

I'm shooting out of this room. / Because I sure don't like the company. / So stop your preaching right there / 'Cause I really don't care / And I'll do it again.

This goes back to the idea of "you don't have to put up with people being stupid and bigoted just so you can keep the peace." If it's not bringing you joy, get out. Tell them to shut up because you're not interested in their justifications for hatred.

Hold your heart into this darkness. / Will it ever be the light to shine you out? / Or fail and leave you stranded. / I ain't gonna be the one left standing. / You ain't gonna be the one left standing. / We ain't gonna be the ones left standing. Showing yourself to the world proudly, walking with certainty towards the unknown. Maybe you're left lost or blinded, but maybe you light the way forward for yourself and others. Even if you aren't the last one standing, you did something and it mattered, no matter how many or how few people it mattered to. Even if nobody knew, it still mattered.

In summary, this could be read as a generally queer song, but to me personally, it resonates more with my trans experiences than anything else. It's a lovely song about being yourself, defying societal expectations, and running away from places that make you feel suffocated in your own skin. And I think that's pretty transgender, and also pretty cool.

[mx-piggy]

okay so i'm in the process of writing a blog post for my site about the casting of John Lithgow in the Harry Potter TV series and the apathy that people show towards trans people by continuing to engage with Harry Potter.

i started writing a tangent about the Marauders fandom that turned into 1k words because i had a lot of thoughts about it and i think it's an interesting topic to think and write about beyond the question of the morality around still engaging with Harry Potter. i've scrapped that section because it barely fit with the rest of the post. but i'm thinking of adapting it into a piece about transmasculinity and fandom. it'll look at how transmascs interact with fandoms like the Marauders fandom and South Park, where most of the main characters are boys/young men, and there's some kind of controversy around these fandoms with regards to transphobia, particularly transmisogyny (i.e. JKR's transmisogyny and South Park's transmisogyny when it came to Mr/s Garrison and the whole trans women in sports episode). (note: that's not to label Marauders fans or South Park fans as transmisogynists or bigots). if you know of any male-centric fandoms that have a notable transmasc following, i'd love to hear your perspective on that, too.

the thing is, i don't know if i'm pulling these observations out of my ass. so, i need some input from Marauders fans mainly, but also South Park fans. i say that because i'm kind of a South Park fan and i have more experience with the South Park fandom.

so, basically, i've written some assumptions and questions, with the intention of people within the fandoms responding to them.

(click the read more for further information)

full disclosure, i fully respect everyone's right to engage with whatever they want, but i'm someone who's very much in the 'read another book' camp when it comes to Harry Potter. i wish people would just let it die so that JKR's relevancy takes a hit. i think that when it comes to the Marauder's fandom it's more complex, given how fan-driven it is. on the South Park end of this, i've said i'm a fan of South Park, but, yeah, i'm a Leftist so obviously i think it sucks that young people have watched it and picked up bigotry from it, and i think that some of its takes have sucked. so, i get why people disavow South Park in the same way that i disavow Harry Potter, and maybe you could call me a hypocrite for liking South Park and feeling animosity towards a lot of Harry Potter fans.

rest assured that this isn't an attack on either fandom, or an attempt to start discourse, or hostile in its intentions. i find this topic interesting, and i'm looking into it in good faith and out of genuine curiosity, as someone who is trans and has a fascination with fandom. the purpose of this post is to get some insight so that i can write an informed essay-type-thing that aims to look at this with nuance.

so, if you'd like to help me with this by sharing your perspective, please respond in some way. if you're comfortable doing so feel free to reply to this post via comments, a reblog etc.. if not, feel free to send me a message, or send me an ask (i won't post it unless you give me explicit permission).

if you'd prefer to email me your response/thoughts (i.e. if you have a lot to say), contact me via mxpiggywordpress@gmail.com. but, i fully get that you'd prefer to not email a stranger on the internet. if you're a minor reading this, do whatever you're most comfortable with. i'd feel weird as an adult telling kids to email me or privately communicate with me; i'd advise sending me an ask, rather than messaging me privately or commenting publicly, because i know that this might attract some assholes and i'm worried enough about opening myself up to people being hostile to me, and i don't want to involve queer minors in that. maybe i'm just being over-anxious because fandoms like these intimidate me. but i digress.

if you do email me or message me, let me know if i have your permission to ask follow-up questions related to this topic, because further insight would be greatly appreciated if i forgot to include something in this post.

basically, however you feel comfortable sending in your response, do that. anything will be greatly appreciated. again, if you message me anything privately, i won't share your response without explicit permission, or i'll reference it vaguely within the piece. i won't be directly referencing people within my essay, if one can call it that, only using these responses to inform my writing and perspective. most importantly, there's no pressure to respond to every question, or at all.

if you feel i am wrong in any of my assumptions, don't be shy to correct me or challenge me (just please be nice about it). a lot of this is from a Tumblr user perspective, so let me know if you have any insight regarding other platforms, like TikTok.

for Marauders fans, my assumptions and questions are as follows (note: if i haven't been clear enough on anything, feel free to ask me what the hell i'm on about because that's fair enough):

a lot of the Marauders fandom- on Tumblr at least- is made up primarily of young, white, AFAB queer people, including trans boys/men, nonbinary people and queer girls/women.

the common interpretation for most of the characters in the fandom involves them being queer, a character of colour, plus size etc. (feel free to give examples of popular interpretations of characters).

most of the focus in the Marauders fandom is put on the male/non-female characters and their relationships (platonic or romantic) with one another. female characters and pairings are often overlooked compared to their male counterparts. (note: i'm aware that this statement could fit most fandoms)

(if you're a transmasc or AFAB nonbinary Marauders fan) you project that aspect of your identity onto the characters in some way, particularly the male characters. maybe you headcanon one or more of the characters as trans, nonbinary or gnc in a way that aligns with your own identity.

(if you're a transmasc or AFAB nonbinary Marauders fan) part of what draws you to the Marauders fandom and its characters is that they're a group of boys/young men/men. they allow you to explore masculinity and engage with a boyhood/manhood/masculine experience in a way that maybe you have missed out on and/or long for IRL. maybe you're closeted, so these characters allow you to fantasise about being a teenage boy, so there's a comfort that comes from that, especially in a world of magic. so, in essence, these characters give you an opportunity to indulge in gender things you might not be able to do or have missed out on IRL.

you completely disavow JKR and her transphobia, and you consider yourself an unabashed trans ally, or you're trans yourself. you are able to engage with the Marauders fandom because you are able to separate her from it.

you feel fully comfortable engaging with the Marauders fandom. that's because it's more detached from JKR than Harry Potter canon and the Golden Trio side of the fandom (if that's what we're still calling it; it's been a hot minute since i was into Harry Potter).

how do you engage with the Marauders fandom, consumer-wise? do you read fanfiction? do you look at fanart? do you read analysis of the characters? do you watch TikToks? do you create your own fan content?

how did you come to grow attached to the characters from the Marauders era? was it through canon Harry Potter material (books, movies) or through fan content?

do you focus solely on the Marauders era of Harry Potter? or, do you still engage with the wider Harry Potter fandom? if so, how (i.e. do you read/write fanfic, make/look at fanart, read/write analysis, read/watch the books/movies)? how, if at all, do you still engage with the Harry Potter source material (i.e. do you actively read/reread the books, watch/rewatch the movies etc.)? do you keep this engagement private, or do you post about it online in any way? do you still monetarily support the Harry Potter franchise in any way?

(if you are trans or nonbinary) do you feel any discomfort towards cis Harry Potter or Marauders fans compared to trans/nonbinary fans? do you feel that some cis fans- who aren't straight-up transphobes- tend to prioritise their enjoyment of Harry Potter over supporting trans people? do you feel that cis fans in the Harry Potter fandom ignore JKR's transphobia in any way, and how does this compare to the Marauders fandom as you've experienced it?

do you feel uncomfortable with people engaging with the wider Harry Potter franchise? what are your personal limits/boundaries, if any, with how people interact with the Harry Potter franchise beyond the Marauders fandom (e.g. do you only have a problem with people who buy officially licensed Harry Potter merch, do you have a problem with anyone who publicly talks about/promotes Harry Potter)?

(if you are trans or nonbinary) what is your relationship with JKR and her transphobia, and how does that affect how you engage with Harry Potter (its source material and the fandom itself) and the Marauders fandom? have you been able to separate JKR from Harry Potter?

how did you get into the Marauders fandom? what do you like about it? do you have any problems with it? how do you contribute to the fandom, if at all (fanart, fanfic, analysis etc.)?

is there anything else you feel i should know before i start working on my essay-thing? or, is there any perspective that you'd like to share that my questions/assumptions haven't given you the opportunity to express?

for South Park fans, here are my assumptions and questions:

most of South Park's Tumblr fandom is made up of young, white, AFAB trans people or queer cis girls.

(for transmasc/AFAB nonbinary fans) part of the appeal of South Park is that it focuses on boys. you more than likely missed out on boyhood/getting to grow up as a boy, so these characters allow you to explore boyhood.

how did you get into South Park? what do you like about it, and what are your problems with the show itself and the fandom?

what other tv shows do you watch?

are you aware of why people (typically progressives) dislike South Park? do you consider yourself progressive?

what are your thoughts/feelings about Matt Stone and Trey Parker? how does that affect your relationship with the show?

(if you are trans/nonbinary) what are your thoughts/feelings on South Park's transmisogyny? how does it affect your relationship with the show, if at all?

what are your thoughts/feelings on South Park's bigotry and/or offensive humour? how does it affect your relationship with the show, if at all?

do you engage with South Park by watching the show and/or through fan content (i.e. fanfiction, fanart etc.)? which do you prefer/engage with more?

do you feel like the South Park fandom ignores the show's problematic elements? if yes, what are your thoughts on that?

is there anything else you feel i should know before i start working on my essay-thing? or, is there any perspective that you'd like to share that my questions/assumptions haven't given you the opportunity to express?

[vilevenom]

I'm still plugging away at the long!fic I've been working on for two damn weeks now, but I decided to take a little break to write something short for a character pairing/dynamic I haven't seen much of.

Also, a little bit of practice for dialogue heavy fics.

Good Luck Babe

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (no specific media)

Pairing: Gen, Shadow & Amy Rose, (unrequited) Amy/Sonic, (unrequited) Sonic/Shadow

Summary: Sonic likes to be as free as the wind. As such, it's quite difficult to catch his eye.

Amy notices Shadow staring and decides to have a little heart to heart with him

"Oh. I know that look."

Shadow startled, not having expected Amy, of all people, to suddenly appear at his side. Team Dark had run into Team Sonic on their way to a mission, which just so happened to coincide with an Eggman attack that Sonic and his friends were battling. The overall fight hadn't lasted terribly long, but it had still been a hard won battle, given how many Heavies were mixed in with the standard badnik fair. Thus, Sonic and his little band of followers were celebrating and chatting it up with Rouge and Omega, while Shadow watched from the sidelines, mildly irritated by the delay in their own mission for GUN.

"What look?"

Amy chuckled at Shadow, clasping her hands behind her back as she rocked on her heels. She turned slightly to watch Sonic as he laughed with Tails over a joke that neither Knuckles or Omega got while Rouge simply rolled her eyes at them. "The look of someone in love."

Shadow scoffed, his posture stiffening as his shoulders lifted defensively. "What are you babbling about, Rose?"

She shot him a look, a sad little smile on her face. "Oh, please," she sighed, letting her hands drop to her sides, "You've been staring at Sonic since the fight ended. Maybe since before that."

"That's because he's being a distraction and keeping my team from their objective," Shadow protested, folding his arms over his chest.

"Mhmmm. Then why don't you just go tell Omega and Rouge to wrap it up so you can go on your way?"

"I-" Shadow began, floundering slightly for an excuse. He could feel his cheeks heating up the longer his brain churned trying to come up with an answer, while Amy simply watched him with a knowing smirk on her face.

"That's what I thought," she finally said, letting Shadow off the hook, turning to look back to their friends. "It's okay, you know," she added after a beat, lacing her fingers together in front of her, "That you love him."

"I never admitted to that!" the hybrid snapped, ears pinning back as his increased volume drew the attention of Rouge. He waved her off quickly, turning to Amy with a scowl. "What are you getting at, Rose?"

Amy quickly lifted her hands in a placating gesture, waving Shadow off as his quills visibly bristled. "Just that, y'know, I'm not upset that you love him, too. He makes it really easy. I've been noticing, lately, a lot of people sort of falling in love with him. Not properly, not really, since it's more like hero worship? But, since I came to terms with the fact that he'll never love me back, it's been hard not to notice it in other people."

Forcing his quills to soften, Shadow let out a huff of air, flicking his gaze briefly to their friends to ensure they were still engaged in conversation, before turning back to Amy. "And, pray tell, what type of love do you think I have for him? I'm curious as to your perspective."

"Proper love," the pink hedgehog supplied with a little shrug, "The kind that starts as a tiny spark and grows through shared experience, victory and trauma. The kind that solidifies when you see the worst of someone, and still know you'd stay by their side as long as they'll have you. The kind that truly blossoms when that person shows you sides of themselves that almost no one else gets to see, in private little moments. The same kind of love that I have for him."

"You…how can you possibly know that?" The hybrid was flabbergasted by Amy's observation, not having realized that he was quite so obvious with his affection for the blue blur. He knew he had a tendency to stare, but surely his emotions weren't that easy to read?

"Like I said, it's the same way that I feel," she sighed, picking idly at one of her gloves, "So I find it pretty easy to spot in others. But, don't worry. I don't think any one else has picked up on it."

"That's reassuring," Shadow muttered, absently running his fingers through his quills to straighten them out. With anyone else he would begin threatening them with death, should they ever spill his secrets, but for some reason he'd always been a bit of a soft touch for Amy. Instead, he simply cleared his throat, hoping the flush in his cheeks wasn't noticible through his fur. "What about him? Does he…have feelings for anyone?" he asked tentatively, voice quiet and low.

"Oh, I wish," Amy chuckled, though it was sad, a wistful expression overtaking her face as she stared off past their friends, "I've been following Sonic for as long as he's let me, and loved him nearly as long. For a long time I thought simple persistence was the key, then I tried heroics to try and impress him. Gifts, food, compliments…Nothing catches his interest. He's rescued some of the prettiest Mobians on the planet from certain doom, many of whom have practically thrown themselves at his feet, and absolutely no one and nothing has kept his interest for longer than a fleeting moment. I'm surprised I haven't seen a spark of interest in you, if I'm being honest."

"Me?"

"Yeah," Amy hummed, nodding slightly, "You're the first person to keep up with him. When everything I tried failed, and I saw how you two ran side by side, I thought maybe that was it. Maybe he needed someone who could go toe to toe with him and keep up. Challenge him in a way no one else ever really has. Not without being a threat-"

"I'm a threat!"

"You know what I mean," Amy snorted, shooting Shadow a glare, the hybrid immediately deflating, "But even you, with your strength, speed, flashy quills and pretty eyes weren't enough to keep him looking your way for more than a few seconds."

"Are you telling me to give up?" Shadow asked, narrowing his eyes slightly, suspicion plain on his face.

"If you're asking if I'm telling you to back off or keep your distance or something, I already told you that it was fine," Amy said, rolling her eyes, "I know nothing I say or do will make him love me. I've come to terms with that. At this point, I'm just happy if he's happy, honestly. And, hey, who knows? Maybe you'll do something spectacular that I could never manage and make him see you."

"Knowing Sonic's short attention span, that seems like a tall order."

"Doesn't it?" Amy laughed, her momentary dour demeanor shifting back to her usual chipper attitude. "Stranger things have happened!"

"Hmph. Indeed they have," Shadow snorted, offering Amy one of his rare smiles.

"But, you know," she added quietly, taking a step forward and turning so her back was to their friends, "if he never does…if the call of freedom keeps him running with the wind forever…I'll be there. We can watch a bad romcom while eating ice cream and complain about how dumb he is. Yeah?"

Shadow blinked in mild surprise at the offer, before letting out a low chuckle and nodding slightly. "I think that sounds quite agreeable."

"Is that a laugh from Shadow, I hear?" Sonic's voice shattered Amy and Shadow's moment of camaraderie, the hero zipping up next to them with his trademark grin on his face to be met with a scoff from Shadow and a light giggle from Amy. "Hark! A miracle doth occur," Sonic called, slinging an arm around Shadow's shoulders, earning a grunt of displeasure from the hybrid as he was hauled into Sonic's side.

Shadow cast a brief glance to Amy, who simply gave him a reassuring little smile and a thumbs up. Perhaps having her to commiserate with over the blue buffoon would be nice.

[fairuzfan]

It's the zionist concern anon again. I will say for now that with what you said about prioritizing Palestinians I do agree. The people going through a genocide are a bigger priority than people who are not going through a genocide. I just fear that due to the fact I am neither Palestinian or Jewish that I may end up embracing stances that I do not actually understand and that innocent people may suffer because of it. I do not want to be irresponsible. I am also someone who lives in a country built on stolen land, so that does to some sort of extent influence my feelings on Isreal as I imagine many people in Isreal share my thoughts on the fact we have lived our entire lives on stolen land. As I said before, I also do not know any Palestinians personally so I find it hard to know who I can ask about the history, Hamas, technical details of politics, etc without risking being taught the wrong things. On a much more selfish note, I also struggle with debilitating mental health issues that make it very difficult to navigate moral issues especially if the moral issues do not impact me on a personal level. So if I am being honest, my questions are not entirely selfless as I have very self-centered fears on if I am actually a horrible person. I thank you again for being so understanding, but I figure the right thing to do here is admit I am likely not as pure intentioned in my questions as I should be when a large factor to why I worked up the courage to ask is in hope I am worrying too much about my quality of moral character from a selfish perspective. Again, I thank you for being so understanding and willing to answer these asks instead of just brushing me off as a horrible zionist.

I don't think you're a horrible person at all I just think everyone has underlying zionist biases because it's a product of the society we live in.

And I do understand where you're coming from, honestly. Something that always helps me is remembering something that my parents taught me as a kid: always stand on the side of the oppressed. Now as I grew up I realized you have to define what oppression means and I think exploring that will also help you get a better understanding of how to combat other forms of racism/antisemitism/transphobia/etc.

If you do want to learn about hamas tho, I would suggest taking a look at Tareq Baconi, he has a lot of writings about the history of Hamas and he's Palestinian. There are also Palestinian podcasts and social media accounts. I understand that not knowing a palestinian personally to help you guide yourself through these things is daunting, but there are plenty of resources to help! It's why I'm here on this blog honestly, I don't mind you reaching out to me for questions or anything.

A good principle to remind ourselves with is "how can I ensure that justice can be had?" And to find the answer to that you need to look into multiple types of antizionist thought. Some blogs I like to check out for a diverse antizionist opinion are @el-shab-hussein and @bringmemyrocks as a couple of examples. Plus I'd look to Black American thinkers on antiracism (like Angela Davis and James Baldwin and Kwame Ture) because they do a good job of showing you how to examine your internal biases which we are all subject to.

I don't think this selfish to want to be a good person. I have the same worries. I actually do get worried that sometimes I'm *actually* a bad person secretly without me realizing and I reach out to friends and family to talk it out. Something that helps me through this is realizing that you have to forgive yourself for previous beliefs you've had and promise yourself to do better because at the end of the day youre human and you make mistakes.

But really my biggest advice is to read and listen to a variety of schools of thought and if you can, interact with local communities dedicated to antiracism. Even if theyre digital communities! That will help a lot with identifying any problem points.

Again, feel free to reach out with any questions. I don't think you're a zionist at all! Please don't worry and thanks for reaching out :)

[mr-nauseam]

love your takes BUTTT it's literally canon Sejanus doesn't listen to Coriolanus? the whole plot of Part III hinges on the fact that Sejanus is doing things behind Coriolanus's back (which drives Coriolanus insane). He tries to reason with Sejanus multiple times and Sejanus never listens until Coriolanus uses the brothers card. I get where you're coming from but Sejanus not bending to Coriolanus's will is pretty much a thing(TM)

Thank you! I’m really glad you like my takes! And I appreciate the chance to discuss this topic. That Sejanus agrees with everything Coriolanus said or that he bent to Snow’s will was not the message I intended to transmit at all. So I'm gonna try to explain my thoughts here in a clear way but of course it is important to remember this is my perspective, you are free to agree or disagree with it, but here is exactly where I come from. 

My posture is that Sejanus is not a character that directly confronts or openly questions Coriolanus for his ideas, nor does he try to defend his own beliefs against him. Something that at least to me does not imply that Sejanus bends to his will nor that he listens to him (although Sejanus does listen to Coriolanus advice on many occasions. I will elaborate on this point later because it is a matter with a lot of nuance) and the central point it does not mean that in any way Sejanus shares Coriolanus's worldview or agrees with his perspective. 

The first point to explain here is how much awareness Sejanus had about Coriolanus's horrible ideas, and the truth is that I think we have a lot in the text to say that while Sejanus is not aware of Coriolanus's personal hatred he have for his family, Sejanus is aware to some extent that Coriolanus, like most of his classmates, has prejudiced and negative ideas about the districts and their people. The Capitol is not a kind place to the districts in any respect, while we are offered a wide range of feelings about the districts and the games within the mentors, it would not be risky to say a large and overwhelming majority hold a dehumanizing and extremely negative view to a lesser or greater extent over district people. Despite many of the mentors showing a disagreement with the games, saying they find no purpose in them, this opinion does not equate for example to believing that the districts are full of people who are just like them and deserve equal rights and equal opportunities. 

Think of how one argument used to explain why no one wants to watch the games is because they are about children that no one cares to see die (Arachne and Livia), and while we are offered other opposing views that seem to resonate more with a positive idea about the districts and the value of their people (Clemensia and Lysistrata) these views are coexisting peacefully with these extreme ideas. The games in the Capitol are treated as an issue where everyone can have their own opinion and every opinion is valid, that is the reason why some opposing views by others born in the Capitol don't cause as much of a stir as the extremist views of punishment and hatred neither do.  The games do not provoke an important difference of opinion among the mentors, the games do not cause division and I highlight others Capitol born because Sejanus is treated very differently and judged under another parameter by his Capitol classmates and teachers for having been born in the district. His opinions cause conflict for who he is and that’s why he is violently reprimanded. 

Related to this, is relevant notice that Coriolanus Snow in contrast with his peers, was raised under extreme and hateful ideas against the districts. He has internalized much of this prejudice and bigotry in a way that his ideas could be radical for others. We see consistently in his thoughts, and in some of the opinions he expresses openly that the hate Snow feels is something else even in comparison to his classmates but not for someone like Volumnia Gaul which is a bad sign. 

Yet for Coriolanus to say out loud terrible and dehumanizing ideas against the districts would not cause any conflict in the Capitol, especially with his other classmates. He lives in a place where it is socially acceptable to treat the districts as enemies deserving of the worst offenses. This translates to the fact that while, when he talks with Sejanus, he is aware that he must hide the contempt he feels for Sejanus and his family, it does not necessarily imply that Coriolanus is so conscious of his need to hide from Sejanus certain negative opinions about the districts (actually this something he learn during the book he must do), or sometimes he will say insensitive comments that from his perspective are not bad or inappropriate to say, because again, the environment in which he exists does not punish or condemn believing the worst about the districts and expressing it. This gonna provoke that throughout the book, Coriolanus will say from time to time awful things about the districts and Sejanus will be there to hear these comments and he will not say anything about it, or do it in a very passive way, without try to engaged in an argument or a direct confrontation with Coriolanus for had these opinions. While he actually does this to other people and their negative ideas regarding the districts. (1. “What is it?” he asked. “Aren’t you happy? District Two, the boy, that’s the pick of the litter.” “You forget. I’m part of that litter,” said Sejanus hoarsely.) This is one of those cruel and totally insensitive comments that Coriolanus will make without the awareness that what he has said is wrong. The worst? Is not a bad faith comment, it was genuine, Coriolanus himself is envious that Sejanus has such a strong tribute, a possible winner in his eyes. However Sejanus who is aware of the horrors of the games and what Coriolanus has said, barely tries to correct him. (“You forget. I’m part of that litter,”) With this Sejanus makes clear to Coriolanus that’s not the kind of thing he should say to someone like him, that is district because Sejanus is part of the affected group, is part of the children suffering, which is a correction yes, but only related to himself that not go beyond. He’s not trying to correct Coriolanus for saying he should be happy and all the line of thoughts that do not see district lifes as important that provoke this comment in the first place. The matter stops there for him and then Sejanus complains about his father. And the thing is, this is not the only time a similar situation will take place. Later when Coriolanus helps Sejanus with the sandwiches, he insists on how Marcus will be the winner, he emphasizes his strength, ergo to him, Marcus is someone capable of killing other children without any problem, someone who would do it without hesitation, he says it as a compliment but it is a prejudiced idea over a district boy who only happen to be tall, is an insensitive commentary, and I think Sejanus is quite aware of this. 

I mean he shows already a good awareness of why the tributes didn't trust him or accept his food, I don't think this is any different but Sejanus once again doesn't discuss this language, these ideas that clearly Coriolanus is expressing, even though he did with a little girl: (2. “It says, ‘Please don’t feed the animals.’” “They’re not animals, though,” said Sejanus. “They’re kids, like you and me.”) I will go deeper in the conclusion about Sejanus's context and the hostility he faces, as this influences his behavior and his relationship with Coriolanus; however for now we will continue on the topic of proof why in the text I do not see that Sejanus try to argue with Snow or make him change his opinion most of the time. 

Another important clarification that I want to make before continuing is that many times Sejanus will say his opinions and feelings openly to Coriolanus which involve Sejanus expressing aloud his despise, sadness, anger, over the Hunger Games and the conduct of the Capitol, and I believe that these talks are different once again from Sejanus trying to correct actively the bigoted opinions of Coriolanus.

Coriolanus is Sejanus's friend from his perspective. It makes sense that Sejanus would express his discomfort to Coriolanus, and sometimes this discomfort, this worldwide he has and communicates can prompt a change of opinion in Coriolanus. In fact the talk with the little girl I mention earlier, would echo later in Coriolanus as he himself thinks that Sejanus was right the more he interacts with Lucy Gray the more human she becomes in his eyes, but this is a change of opinion that Sejanus was not intentionally seeking to provoke in his friend when he told him of his concerns and fears, he was simply venting with Coriolanus, in who he trusts. (Besides it's important to note that the idiot Coriolanus ended up dismissing this idea like many others that Sejanus communicated to him and actively decided not to change his mind even if he now has a better understanding of the situation thanks to hearing Sejanus point of view.)

Another scenario that is repeated throughout the book that I mentioned earlier and we will now take a closer look at is the silence of Sejanus in the face of certain opinions and actions of Coriolanus that once again clearly prove that he does not value the lives of people in the districts. (3. “Did you mean it for real? You think we should have betting on who wins?” “Not really,” Coriolanus said, then cocked his head. “On the other hand, if it’s a success, then absolutely, Clemmie. I want to go down in history as the one who brought gambling to the Games!”) I have said many times that I do not consider the movie in anything I analyze or make posts about, but for this occasion I will bring it up to mark a contrast: The gambling issue in the movie is a serious proposal made by Coriolanus to Gaul, not a joke, and Sejanus clearly seems disgruntled at his words, because he himself a minute ago was saying why the games are abominable, why they should stop to be made and Coriolanus his friend of all the people, say that? 

Sejanus confronts Coriolanus directly for his comments and for the action of stealing food from the cafeteria considering his words in the next scene. This does not happen in the book. While Coriolanus in the text expresses this as a silly comment, only a joke, it is still a joke of bad taste, that makes very clear he has a mind in which the lives of the tributes are trivial enough to do these jokes, his youth contribute to why he thought was a good idea say this aloud. And is Clemensia the one who actually questions Coriolanus for this comment, for what he implied not Sejanus. 

At no point later in the story will Sejanus bring up this issue to discuss it with Coriolanus, not even when this proposal becomes a reality, and one that happened thanks to the direct participation of his friend. Even if it is obvious that Gaul was pushing the grambling matter to happen, the truth is that Coriolanus never tried to refuse to write the proposal, to be part of that idea, he showed no resistance nor even in private.

You as a reader know his motives to no protest, Sejanus does not, although he may suspect why, since he has a clear understanding of how power dynamics work within the Capitol and the personality and beliefs of Snow, still is important to point out that no conversation occurs where he ask for an explanation of why Coriolanus talked why he not look bothered to help it happen. There is silence. We can say it clearly now. Sejanus is a character who disagrees with Coriolanus, and has let him know this on many occasions, however, in general he does not question Coriolanus, he does not confront him about his ideas and actions. This is not to say that Sejanus approves Coriolanus or agrees with him, nor that he never protests, in fact it must be said that Sejanus does try to change Coriolanus’s mind, this happens in D12, but the results are quite depressing and disappointing. 

Which brings me to my next point, and that is that here I disagree with the idea that Sejanus does not listen to Coriolanus. For he does, many times actually and it is part of the conflict they both enter into once they are in District 12, but the fact Sejanus chose to listen in the past to his friend, does not mean he’s bent over his will. This has its nuances and I will explain it below: 4. ( “I can’t, all right? It’s part of who I am. And you’re the one who said I could help the people in the districts if I agreed to leave the arena.” “I believe I said you could fight for the tributes, meaning you might be able to procure more humane conditions for them,” Coriolanus corrected him.)

Sejanus here admits that he listened to Coriolanus's advice but Sejanus is his own person, with his own beliefs and understanding of right and wrong. That is why he considers that listening to Billy Taupe's request (and later getting involved in the plan) is the right thing to do, while Coriolanus does not believe that’s the case. 

He does not agree. He recommends Sejanus to forget about it, something we know Sejanus does not do, he decides this time not to listen to this advice that his friend gives him. And this action is the one that unsettles Coriolanus, because in the past Sejanus had listened to him. The incident in the arena is the most prominent example, but the point is that Sejanus had previously considered it appropriate to listen to Coriolanus, that now he decides he will not listen to Snow, is what causes the tension between the two. 

Especially is what makes Coriolanus feel so threatened, because from his perspective Sejanus has proven this time that he will not bend to his will as he did before and that scares him. This makes Sejanus a danger from his eyes. No that Sejanus bending to his will is a thing that actually happened before. Like I said, Sejanus listening to Coriolanus is not the same as Sejanus bending to his will. The person who thinks that’s the same is Coriolanus, is his worldview of the actions of Sejanus (who from his perspective owes him obedience), not what is happening. Coriolanus believes that Sejanus not listening to him, is disobedience, it is a betrayal, because he considers he has the right to control Sejanus in some way, when it is not the case, he is only his friend, and the people you are friends with have freedom, but the background in which Coriolanus was raised, has made him have this belief without any basis in reality. 

(I mention his background because this is not an expectative Coriolanus Snow will have about his Capitol friends, he only expects this type of blind loyalty and obedience from Lucy Gray and Sejanus, who are from the districts).

Sejanus does not owe Coriolanus any obedience. He’s not “out of control” nor being “irrational” by choosing not to follow his advice this time. And we are getting closer to the end, let's talk about why the confrontations that Sejanus tries ends up being a failure. 5. ( “What sort of strategy was that?” “A desperate one. But look around!” Sejanus grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. “How long can you expect them to go on like this?” [...] “They lost the war. A war they started. They took that risk. This is the price they pay.” Sejanus looked about, as if unsure which direction to go, and then slumped down on a broken wall along the road. [...] “You’re right, Coriolanus. I’ve been stupid. Again. I’ll be more careful in the future. Whatever that holds.”) Coriolanus and Sejanus relationship blossoms in D12, they have a better understanding and get along well, but in D12 it is also where Coriolanus most shows his true colors to Sejanus. If some of his earlier comments discreetly revealed that he holds prejudices against the districts, discretion is no longer an issue, and Coriolanus is quite outspoken now about what he believes about the people of the districts, what he thinks they deserve, similar to the way now Sejanus, free of the isolation and discrimination he faces in Capitol, is more firm regarding his own beliefs. They are in opposite positions, and I believe that at this point Sejanus can neither deny nor run away from a horrible truth: Coriolanus deep down does not believe that the people of the district are human. He has told Sejanus without hesitation that he believes that the people of the district, people like Sejanus, deserve to be punished. They deserve to be abused and live in misery for provoking the war. And I think we can agree that Sejanus has implied several times that he does not believe the district rebellion was unjustified. He constantly reproaches how the Capitol did not correct the mistakes that led to such a circumstance in the first place. 

Now imagine what it was like trying to reconcile that his only friend believes that people like Sejanus have to suffer. It is no surprise that Sejanus decides from this moment on to hide the truth from Coriolanus, he decides to avoid further conflicts and fights with his only friend in the world. In this scene Sejanus agrees with Coriolanus. 

Not that he really does because we know he insists on helping Billy Taupe, Spruce and Lil, but he has decided that he will deal with this conflict of interest by giving Coriolanus the reason, in front of him. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised, Sejanus never had the courage to try to make Coriolanus change his mind, he now tried but failed, Coriolanus wouldn’t listen so Sejanus didn’t try to insist. He's resignate. And how not to be? This is not the first time this has happened:

6. (“Stop being so self-indulgent, in other words,” said Sejanus. “Well, so dramatic anyway. That’s how you ended up in the arena, remember?” asked Coriolanus. Sejanus reacted as if Coriolanus had slapped him. After a moment, though, he nodded in recognition. “That’s how I almost got us both killed. You’re right, Coryo. Thanks. I’m going to think over what you said.”) Let's do the summary. Sejanus does not share Coriolanus's ideas, he does not agree with them, sometimes he lets him know this but he does not insist on the subject. Other times he ignores what Coriolanus has said even if they are ideas that clearly make him feel uncomfortable or with which he disagrees deeply. Sejanus in D12 cannot deny that Coriolanus will probably never understand him nor agree that the districts need to be freed from the Capitol's control yet Sejanus appreciates Coriolanus, he considers him his friend and that's why he decides to lie, to hide things from him. 

Sejanus prefers to maintain his friendship with Coriolanus rather than defend his actions and beliefs. Hence why I think it is noteworthy to point out that Sejanus only tells Coriolanus what he has been doing, once Coriolanus manipulates his trust. 

By appealing to the sense of family, of being “brothers,” Coriolanus knows the message he is conveying, family will always love you no matter what you do, family will always be with you even if they don't always agree with you. It is a bond that does not seem as fragile as a friendship that depends in large part on Sejanus accommodating Coriolanus’s demands.

Sejanus speaks easily once it is clear that yes Coriolanus won't change his prejudices, but at least won't hate Sejanus. The lie is that Coriolanus promises he will respect Sejanus’s opinion and offer him help if he needs it because they are almost like brothers. (Which as we know is not what happens, in the end Coriolanus prefers to let the trouble of a Sejanus that does not obey him anymore be in the hands of someone he considers more capable: Gaul, provoking the death of Sejanus.)

I'm sure I sound like a stuck record but after a lot of text, here come the conclusions. 

So from my perspective Sejanus Plinth is a character that most of the time does not tend to directly confront or question Coriolanus Snow and the rather questionable opinions he expresses from time to time in the book. This is not to say that Sejanus has never tried to do so or not shown that he disagrees with these ideas, but Coriolanus Snow and Sejanus Plinth in the entire TBOSAS book never have a debate about their perspectives on the world, their values and the hunger games. 

I already said that Sejanus venting his feelings, his disagreement with the games is not the same as a debate, it is him just venting to his friend, and the super vague answers Coriolanus usually gives him, while in his head he is judging Sejanus and elaborating on why he disagrees with each of his opinions, I think reinforces  this point of mine. Along with the fact Lucy Gray, is for example someone who actually does question Coriolanus and his worldview, they DO have debates and confrontations about their values, the role of the Capitol and its relationship to the districts and human nature. 

Surely this already seems like I'm slandering Sejanus but it is not the case nor the intention. I LOVE HIM AND I FEEL HE IS SUCH A COMPLICATED CHARACTER that now I am going to do what Sejanus almost never does when he is in front of Coriolanus: defend himself. Because a vital aspect of this situation is to understand the hostile and violent environment in which Sejanus Plinth has grown up as a district person in the Capitol. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that Sejanus is a painfully POC coded character, a racialized character who is perceived as an outsider within a homogeneous society that exploits and has a superiority-prejudiced view of the districts. Some people might say that those aspects are up for debate (I don't think that's the case) but look at one detail that is canonically textual is that Sejanus is ethnically different from all of his peers in the Capitol. 

The discrimination and intimidation that Sejanus suffers in the Capitol has everything to do with who he is, with his ethnic identity that is different from that of the people who live in the Capitol, specifically different from his classmates, who after living a war against the ethnic group to which Sejanus Plinth belongs, feel more resentment, hatred, contempt than ever. 

It makes all the sense in the world that Sejanus avoided confrontation, or questioning his only friend, due to the circumstances he lived through. There is a certain naturalization ergo inevitably someone ends up getting used to hearing the dehumanizing ideas that Coriolanus expresses, when all the people around you for more than a decade, repeat them to your face. That Coriolanus makes the effort not to call Sejanus a savage to his face is something that Sejanus would certainly appreciate a lot, even if Coriolanus keeps talking about the tributes as if they were animals and doing other “minor” questionable actions or comments. Coriolanus seems to care about Sejanus, they usually get along more or less well, so I ask again. Why would it be worthwhile to enter into conflict with Coriolanus? When the chances of friendship are almost nil to Sejanus. Besides, another factor that could contribute is that Sejanus back in the Capitol is in a fragile position, his family has money but he doesn't have the status or social power, if he gets into too much trouble or questioning he could not only alienate Coriolanus, but he could get his family fucked (nor a coincidence why in D12 he try to speak about these matters with Coriolanus, and later why he choses keep Coriolanus a part from his rebels activities, is  a big risk). Sejanus is already corrected in a more aggressive way than the rest of his peers, imagine if he goes further. Well we don't need to imagine it is what happens during the 10th games, and we saw how it went wrong.

While I believe that Coriolanus's lies, and that they have been studying together for over a decade would inevitably give away in one way or another that Coriolanus does not see the people of the district as human beings who deserve the same rights, we must also give credit, as fair, he tries to make a conscious effort to keep hidden his feelings of contempt and resentment towards Sejanus and his family, in other words Coriolanus from an external point of view again seems not so bad in comparison to other classmates who bully Sejanus directly to his face. 

And if there is one reason Lucy Gray was able to fearlessly question Coriolanus, it is because she has something that Sejanus does not, it is not talent, it is a support system. She has covey, and Sejanus has a dysfunctional family.

He hates his father, Strabo makes him miserable, and they just argue all the time and although Sejanus has his beloved Ma, you have to question how effective support she could be, when 8 year old Sejanus had to be the one to comfort her, and the arena incident, did not prove that Ma has the necessary skills to handle such a stressful situation (which makes sense, because the Plinth’s life is MISERABLE and HORRIBLE), so Sejanus is on his own. 

Absolutely alone, and only Coriolanus, with his very obvious flaws, is the only person Sejanus can trust. To say goodbye I want mark this: 7. (“Always an honor to be of service.” “That’s a fine polish job,” Coriolanus replied. Sejanus tensed at the implication that he was, what, a suck-up? A lackey? Coriolanus let it build a moment before he diffused it. )

I think Coriolanus has complicated feelings for Sejanus, he doesn't hate him completely, he cares in a weird, twisted way about him, but Coriolanus grew up hearing all his life that people like Sejanus were not human, they could not to be trusted, they were savages, that he should hate them, because the rebels from the districts caused the death of his parents. No matter how much he acts like a decent person, those kind of beliefs seep into his actions, the first encounter of snowjanus, has always lived in my head, because maybe we could discuss if Coriolanus's intention is properly conveyed but here, in their first meeting, he tried to intimidate Sejanus. 

In a discreet way, not so crude or direct, but he wanted to intimidate him, to annoy him, and then he tried to relax the situation, to make it look like that was never his intention. It's a passive aggressive gesture, and considering Sejanus's life in the Capitol, a place where they hate, despise, and see less people like him (from the districts). This is what Sejanus believes he must endure to have a friend. To what he must not argue, nor protest, if he wants companionship. And that is so sad. 

Ps. It was not his responsibility to comfort or try to make Coriolanus change his mind too. Trying to confront Coriolanus's ideas was useless in many aspects. It was always at risk to end BAD for Sejanus to do it and a mutual of mine do the addition that the no confrotation can come from believe Coriolanus never being on disagree with Sejanus openly until later in the story, make Sejanus thinks Coriolanus have very similar beliefs which is not the case!!! This was very fun and I really nice relaxing thing to do on my day off, thanks!!!