#feel free to send things as I do the memes I got from the last ones ilu all }--

[sonchiildren]

I finally have artwork for everyone's profiles TTwTT

[sweetlummie]

Incoming Call…

Tysm to my sweetest heart @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog for making this AMAZING mood board!

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Joel Miller x fem!plus size!reader

A/n: I’m back! I took a break from writing to focus on college classes. Just taking one last class before I get my associates! Big s/o to @romanarose for proofreading! Any dialogue in italics are text messages! This fic was made with game!joel and show!joel in mind! As always feel free to leave constructive criticism. Likes, comments, and reposts are appreciated 🫶🫶🫶💗

Warnings: cyber stalking, age gap (reader is in college), virgin!reader, if anything else pls lmk!

W/c: 1.3k+

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Joel Miller. A rugged older man. He was so pretty in your eyes but the age difference between you both shattered any illusion you could have with him. So you admired from afar, bashfully smiling at him when he looked your way. You were neighbors so you saw each other quite a bit. He always was sure to greet you every time you were outside when he was. When you’d leave for classes, when you’d come back, when you’d go off to work, and when you’d go out with your friends. Joel always made sure to be around just to see your pretty face. Joel liked you, a lot. He wasn’t tech savvy but he knew his way around some social media platforms so he was able to find your Instagram quite easily and stalk you on there. He used your pictures as fap material.

“Oh sweet girl... such pretty eyes an’ lips...” he’d groan as he’d pump his throbbing, thick cock while looking at your most recent Instagram post. This was an everyday thing, looking at your profile and jerking off. He couldn’t even catch a glimpse of you in person without feeling his cock harden in his pants, unbeknownst to you.

One day you’re out in your front yard, watching your father work on your car. He saw you from the window and immediately went out, using the excuse to get his mail even though he had already gotten it earlier. He overheard your conversation with your father. Your dad would often talk sports to you, and even though you have no clue what he’s talking about you still liked to listen. You were a sweet girl like that. Joel cuts in and adds to the conversation. You try not to say much because you’re sure your high pitched voice would give away your nerves, but you couldn’t help it- he made you so nervous. Joel on the other hand took in your body. He eyed you up and down, from your breasts to your soft, fat stomach, and all the way down to your juicy thighs. His cock was already throbbing. He needed you.

The conversation between Joel and your father shifted into something you were into. Wrestling. You got excited and joined in the conversation. Joel, of course, after his stalking, knew you loved wrestling so he made sure to look into the topic, just for you. Eventually your father dropped the conversation but you still kept talking with Joel, your eyes sparkling as you spoke with such passion about the sport. Joel enjoyed this, he loved your eyes. He can’t help but think how cute you’d look with your lips around his cock, looking up at him with those same sparkly eyes.

After a bit, you both decided that the Texas sun was getting too much so you said your goodbyes to head inside. You paused for a moment, it couldn’t hurt to give Joel your Instagram. After all, he likes wrestling and you post a lot of wrestling videos on your story and you get a lot of memes too you’re sure he’d enjoy! So you look over at him before he goes inside. “Hey Joel?” You called out. He glanced over at you. “Yeah sweetheart?” He replied as he turned, walking back toward the fence. “Do you have Instagram?” You asked as you stepped forward. “Sure do, what for, sweet thing?” These nicknames were gonna be the end of you.. “I just wanted it so I can send you wrestling videos…” you say bashfully, he nods and you pull out your phone. He gives you his username and you follow him. You then said your farewells and went inside. 

You looked at his profile, he didn’t have any posts and on his bio it just had his age and “Texas” on it. You laughed to yourself, he was such an old man. You add him to your close friends. You wanna show yourself off to him. You posted selfies a lot, sometimes even showing your cleavage. You wanted to test the waters so you post a provocative picture of yourself on your close friends. Now you wait. See if he’ll take the bait.

Joel views your page again and sees extra posts and stories that he hasn’t had access to before. He looks at your story and sees the picture of you showing off your tits, he groans and pulls out his cock. He decides to risk it. He replies to the story. “You’re such a naughty thing sweetheart.” He sends. You receive the message, making you shoot up from your bed. Your face was hot and you can feel yourself getting wet.

“Guess I am, does that make you uncomfortable Mr. Miller?” You send back. 

When Joel gets the message he’s choking his cock with his big hand, moaning your name. “Not at all princess.. wish I could see more though..” it’s very risky but fuck it, he’s all in. 

When you receive the message you’ve already pulled off your pj shorts and panties, teasing your fat pussy, imagining Joel’s big hands on you instead. You moan and send him a voice memo, “maybe you can Joel… video chat is always an option..” you say in a sultry voice as the squelching of your wet pussy can be heard in the message as well. 

Joel almost passed out with how needy you sounded, he could’ve came right then and there. He hits the video chat icon and rings you up. You reply and are met with Joel, lazily stroking his big cock. You gasp, you’ve never seen one that big or thick before. 

He grins, “hey pretty girl.. touchin’ your sweet lil’ pussy thinkin’ of me?” He teases making you whimper, you nod and pan the camera down to show your wet pussy. He groans and speeds his hand up. “Touch yourself baby, make yourself cum on those pretty lil’ fingers.” You obey and rub your clit faster, moaning softly. “Good girl..” he praised. “Now insert a finger, I bet ya lil’ pussy feels empty, hm baby?” He commanded.

You shake your head. “Hurts when I try to put a finger in...” you tell him shyly. He pauses… no way you were a virgin. 

“Fuck baby... don’ say that... gonna make me shoot my load and I wanna enjoy this..” he pants.

“Sorry...” you apologize, feeling stupid. Of course he wouldn’t like that.. you were sure he wanted a woman with more experience… you stopped masturbating and pulled your hand away in embarrassment. 

“No no baby, keep goin’.. don’ apologize.. thas jus fine… jus means I’m gonna be the one to deflower ya ..” He’s quick to reassure you, so you perk up right, your pussy gushing again. 

“Yes sir...” you say, feeling better about your lack of experience and excited for Joel to be your first. “Now keep touchin, your pussy… an’ show me those pretty lil’ tits baby..” he orders. You smile and pull your tank top down, showing him your breasts. You touch yourself again, listening to him moan and the lewd sounds his cock was making and seeing how big he is and how beautiful he looks when he’s about to cum, pushes you over the edge. You press your thighs together trapping your hand as you moan out his name. He comes shortly after you, his cum shooting out and landing on his soft tummy. 

“Fuck baby doll… that was so good… how ‘bout we meet later and I can finally see that beautiful body of yours in action hm?” He proposes as he languidly strokes his now softening cock. 

“M’kay.. I’d like that..'' You smile at him as you bring the camera up to show him your sweet face and tits. 

“Good girl.. see ya then.” With that the call ends.. you’re over the moon right now, you can’t believe what just happened. Finally you had the man you’ve been craving.

* ・‥…━━━━━━━ *˖◛⁺♡ ━━━━━━━…‥・

[deesseshesca]

PAC What lesson is this situationship trying to slide into my DMs? (18+)

You are stuck giving all that you got ...

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PILE 1 

Y’all are POC. 

You use your love to destroy. Stop talking with me by using bad poetry. Enough is enough. Y’all should stick to math. Not everyone that loves Lana Del Rey is meant to be a big writer. Some are meant to be engineer and is ok pile 1. Your guys are gashlighter, manipulators, whore but never broke. Y’all will use love to eat something. I feel like y’all just get in a relationship to get free food. I just got a vision of somebody in their pj in their bed choosing from their roaster who is going to have the pleasure to pay for their food. Some of y’all are staying with your cheater of a partner because they always offer amazing gifts when they feel guilty. Designer bad, baecation and concert ticket. Y’all may be in a relationship and you still fucking on your boy bff. I just heard y’all say ‘’ You always need to keep an eater close (wink)’’. You felt so safe to share that with me … Anyways Pile 1 … stop being a red flag. (Hum .. hum before y’all retirer can u show me how ? (my spirit guys looking at me) What ? You would do it 2 for a check …) 

2. You need to stop being dumb. Y’all need to be more careful. You're out there with a restaurant name in your contact, you don’t delete text and nudes. When your partner finds out you stay defensive when you are caught on 4k. I just got a vision of your sex tape and we can see you clearly, giggle and  shit. Not y’all in your Kim K era. Babe you're not Future and a tower moment is coming your way. Yes. you will pay for all the heartbreak you did. So enjoy because what’s about to hit is inevitable. C’mon you did not think this playing around is going to last forever. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

Text

The person you are currently messing with, they love to keep up with you. They love to text you throughout the day the most basic things. They love to send you memes, tiktoks, reels. Y’all may even still be doing Streaks. They love taking pictures of you without you knowing it. They love your face when you are focused on a task or doing your homework. They love sending you money. Unlike Pile 2, your person loves when you are asking them instead of them giving it to you. Is like they love to feel and hear in some shape way or form that they are needed in your life. Almost like they are in competition with other suitors and they think that they are winning. 

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PILE 2

I’m getting a very sinister vibe from y’all. Y’all are maybe worshipers of Lucifer or be very deep into the goth culture. Y’all may be self-harming or you are going through extreme depression . Y’all may have lost someone extremely close to you. 

This is a DUAL POV. Your partner came in  fucking strong and did not want to let me go. But I don’t ever feel like they are going to be reading this, that’s why for their POV, I still use ‘’ They’’. 

Feminine Energy. 

You need to learn to accept the love you give out. You have a heart full of love and you are not scared to pour it into other people's cups but when it comes to you, you are nowhere to be found. You keep everyone at arm length while genuinely being there for them. You will always be an open ear for them. You don’t mind tagging along to a very scary appointment if he needs it.  You don’t mind staying awake on the phone because they have night terrors. You don’t even mind giving your all in the bedroom. You always make sure they are pleased. You always make sure they know they are loved and their voice matters. They especially love when  you give them head. Your mouth feels amazing. They think you are gorgeous when you are going down on them. Your hair in a ponytail so they can truly enjoy the beauty of your face (Ok.. Pile 2 … Face cards never decline !). They love to see your eyes full of lust while your mouth is sweet like honey. I’m hearing:’’ Ok now I am going to suck. Baby you tell me if you need me to stop.’’ After you are done give them a handjob. In my vision they are still fully clothed (even have their coat on (Damm y’all not even going to take off the coat… Not y’all fucking in winter attire)). But when is their turn, no show. I’m hearing : ‘’ My turn now’’. You are still in your panties and a big t-shirt. ‘’ Nah … I’m ok…’’ you put yourself under the cover. That makes them feel like a piece of shit. I feel like y’all be doing that because you don’t think you have a pretty pussy. But babe… is more than sex. You refuse to admit that you care. You tell them the only reason you cuddle is because you are cold. You tell them the only reason you go on a drive at night is because you hate driving but love music. The only reason you help them study is to make sure you understand the subject enough. You give love while making sure he knows that it is not that deep. That kind of hurt. 

Stop making your partner feel useless. The person that you are dealing with doesn't feel needed in your life. You treat them like you can’t depend on them. Some of you even walk 45 minutes from your house to school (even in high heels from home to work) because your car broke down. Instead of calling them to pick you, they find out when you got there. It really wasn’t your intention to make them frustrated or scared for you. Some of you ignore them when life goes hard. When depression  hits a tap a bit too much and you are in bed incapable of communicating with the outside world. They would love you to at least text I am ok but can’t talk right now. Make them feel like shit that you don't think they are worth enough to open up. When you need help you don’t ask for them. When you want space you disappear. 

3. They hate the way you don’t defend yourself. It might be specific to people with abusive families. If your parents are physically abusive, I’m seeing : Both of y’all cuddle in his bedroom (he may have red cover) and he asks why you are shivering but you brush it off with ‘’ Oh, I’m cold’’. But really the contact of your clothes with the wounds hurt. They cuddle you but you don’t relax, actually you get stiffer. You try to not make them look under your shirt but they saw it all. I’m hearing y’all tell me; ‘’ It happened one time !’’. They are answering; ‘’ One to many fucking time.’’. You are not lying it was a one time type of shit but still it was fucking mess up. The one with the abusive verbal parents, I got a vision of them going through your phone. At first they thought it was a boy blowing up your phone (y’all have another name for your mom in your phone) but actually it was your mom telling the worst kind of shit. I hope you slowly, I should have never kept you, you are nothing but a useless slut. Then you walk in and you brush it off. ‘’ Until I found out it was because of some fucking dishes.’’ (Well thank you for the input, maybe soon to be bf). Anyways no matter the scenario, they fucking hate the fact that u refuse to anything because you know it will only get worse. They are in your life to show you that babe … this is the worst. You are trying to save yourself from the worst while living in it. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Treats 

They love doing stuff for you. Especially with their hands. Some of you have verbally abusive and alcoholic mothers. One day she went in your room and mess it the fuck up. And your men re-purchase a vanity and build it for you. It was a mini (huge) surprise for you. They may have also helped you set up your bed frame. They also like to bake for you. They love to go pick up your Starbucks orders and bring it to your school (some of y’all may go to cosmetology school). They hate when you use your money and you hate using their money. They are so petty, they just say ‘’ Well your money is for everything your mom broke … my money is for you’’. Not them shutting you up on Tumblr, Sir…They love treating you like princess. The reason … is your smile. When you smile it is like a whole sun is on their phone (they may have your face as their lock screen),in their bedroom, in the car. LOOOOL ! You are like the sun in the teletubbies. 

Masculine energy. 

Not them asking for a whole reading for themself. Sir… please go book on Ko-fi. Out here making me work extra on an empty stomach (smh). 

They are going through a hard phase in their depression. 

They can’t imagine a future with you. HA ! Don’t be scared. I just saw someone holding their heart… Lol. ‘’ Well you could have worded it differently …’’ Sir, this is my blog … CAN A GIRL CLICKBAIT IN FUCKING PEACE ? Girl, come get your man, he is getting on my nerves. You can let go of your tits. What actually is happening is they don’t think they are going to make it past a certain age. Stop holding your tit … (I’m just clickbaiting rn … sometimes I enjoy being dramatic … what ? I am a writer after all). People around them  always seem to die at a specific age because of their mental health, substance abuse or misery. But there’s age in their family in which most don’t pass and in the state they are in … they don’t think they are going to be different. Maybe their bff ended their life and they think they are next. That destiny only enjoys torturing them. They see you old and gray with your teletubbies smile running around in your backyard (hum… weird…) but it is like from the bottom of their soul they think they will be there. 

They don’t know their light. You came into their life to show them that there’s more good in them than they think. Maybe they are from a family where there’s more people in jail than free. Or more people die more because of addiction than old age. So all their life nobody gives a damn about them. Why would they care for the mess up kid in the fucked up family ? Is like they are multiple generations of fucked up. You showed them their light. The fact that they always answer your call no matter the time, they also serve you, they also go to work for you. All those actions prove their love but also their commitment at being better than the rest. They know how to budget, keep a job, take care of their health, etc. They just need the right motivation. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Trauma bonding

First they love you. Second, their intentions are pure. It is just that my question can give a bit of a clickbait vibe, y’all know that I live for the drama (rarely … I just hate basic questions …). You are their safe place. They love having sex with. They love seeing in red lingerie.  They love the push up bra, the extremely thin pantie, the stocking, the way you did your hair and makeup just to end up being a sucking them the fuck up. They also love when you are drooling with spit from how big they are. They love touching you. They love cuddling you. I don’t feel like y’all make love. Y’all are way more rough in between the sheets. They love aftercare. They love taking care of you. They love taking a towel and cleaning you up or running a bath for the both of y’all. They love taking a shower with you (it may be mandatory activity everytime y’all sleepover to their house). They love cuddling you. They just love you ! They hate any kind of space between y’all. You are the only person to whom they open up too. They love the fact that you never rush them. They love the fact that you try to give them tips to cope in a better way. They love the fact that you believe they can be a better man. 

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PILE 3

You guys are the children of divorce parents. They always took care of you. You always had the newest clothes and shoes. You always had the newest technology gadgets. They put you in private school and you had a luxurious car as a gift. Yet, you grew up watching your dad being abusive very severely to your mom physically. You swore you were going to be different … but  here we are….  I don’t think y’all are physically violent to anyone but your anger is something. Is not like is coming out of no where but the stuff y’all do when you are loosing it is fucking questionable. If it was not for your beauty and money … y’all would be in JAIL ! 

Y’all need to learn to what the fuck a patnership is. You don’t like when people tell you what to do. Well sometimes it is needed. Also I am getting that a person just stating their opinion can piss you off. But ruffling feathers is part of  a relationship. Is also the fault of your partner because how is he/she going to get mad at you because you attract attention. Like you are a pretty boy/girl so for sure you are going to attract isn’t how they got you. Getting mad at you because you are wearing a short skirt like they were not in the same instagram profile liking that very same picture of you in it. You can’t get mad at baddie consequences when you bag one. On the other hand the way you show that anger ain’t it. The screaming, the destroying or even the blocking his/her phone number no, no , no. Y’all need to create a safe place to communicate and allow opinions that hurt you. Because in a safe place every emotion is valuable even if it is not factual. Is for both of y’all to find a way to explain yourself with love and care. 

2. With kind intention ONLY…Y’all need therapy because that’s the reason you can’t keep nobody close. Is not just that person is a friend, coworker, or even family member. I know you want someone to see past all that anger because you are so much more than that. You are brilliant, you are pretty, you are elegant, you speak multiple languages, you are multi-talented, you are excellent at study, you have great life hygiene, you are kind and extremely giving but girl… that monster inside of you needs to be tame. There’s only so much that a rage room can do. I know it is not your fault … your parents made you that way. With the constant screaming, beating, and even choking. It’s so fuck up to be responsable for a healing from trauma we never ask for. But not doing it is going to cost you all the love you are meant to receive. 

3. Stop suppressing your emotions. This situationship makes you realize how bad your emotional state actually is. Because being in a relationship with someone put you in a situation where all your triggers are in the open. You can’t run away, you can’t act like nothing is going on, you can’t play it cool. Because everything is too much, you feel too much so act impulsively. From the exterior, you have that facade of the perfect child. That front is a huge source of stress. You wish it to be true but you know damn well that you are far from it. You are always one trigger away from breaking your protection. That’ s a fucking source of stress on it’s on. Admit that you are angry and mad. Being always happy is killing you slowly. Y’all make me think of the red hair in Desperate Housewive. 

4. Gradual numbness. Since reacting doesn't work for you. When you are mad all the people in your life tend to forget all the good you did to them and all the good living within you. You are slowly running in a hole of feeling nothing. Going from feeling too much to feeling nada. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding? 

Text

They love texting you. Honestly I feel y’all recently broke up but even if it has been a while they still love you so much. They are rooting for you. They also love the fact that the only communication between y’all 2 is texting. They can’t handle all you are but that does not mean they don’t love all of you 2. They love staying on the phone talking about everything. They love how educated you are on many subjects. They love your voice. Damm do they love your voice. Y’all have a pretty voice. They would never admit it but they love your voice even when  you are yelling at them. They love your moan and they still masturbate to your voice audio. Y’all may still practice phone sex because they can’t have enough of you. You are genuinely the most perfect human they've ever seen. Rightfully so, y’all have a very proportionate body, beautiful brown eyes and full tits. They have flashbacks of touching you not in a sexual way but they miss having their hand on you. You have one of the softest skin. 

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[meazalykov]

wrong number

bayern munich frauen x reader

1/6, 2/6, 3/6, 4/6, 5/6, 6/6

summary: fate brought them to you

you've been in munich for two weeks now, and life has been surprisingly calm. 

after the chaos of packing, traveling, and settling into your new apartment, you've finally found a routine. the apartment is cozy, mid century themed and tucked away in a quiet nice bavarian neighborhood with everything you need nearby. 

maple, your tabby cat, has settled in just as well as you, spending most of her days lounging in the patches of sunlight that filter through your windows. sometimes she lays on your balcony when it is warm outside.

remote work has kept you busy, but it’s not the same as the constant stream of activities back home. you've spent most of your free time exploring the neighborhood, finding comfort in the little things—like the coffee shop at the corner of your street. 

the barista already knows your order: iced mocha coffee with strawberry cold foam to have with a plain bagel with butter. it’s become a morning ritual, something you look forward to each day.

despite the quiet life you're living, you’re still in touch with the girls from the group chat. they’ve kept you in the loop, sending memes, talking about football, and, most importantly, making you feel like you’ve got friends here in munich. 

you’ve especially bonded with sydney, who’s given you tons of recommendations on places to eat and visit. you haven’t met any of them in person yet, though. 

the thought of it makes you a little nervous. would they be as friendly in real life as they are in the chat? would they recognize you?

this morning is no different from any other. you wake up, stretch, and check your phone. a few messages have already popped up in the group chat.

georgia: guten morgen guys! practice soon ugh, i’m so tired from the sprints last night. i need caffeine

sydney: always need caffeine. 

sydney: hey y/n 

you: hi good morning! 

sydney: try the new place i told you about yet, y/n?

you: not yet! i was planning to check it out this weekend.

tuva: y/n, if you don’t check it out soon, we’re gonna have to drag you there!! 

you laugh to yourself as you get out of bed. maple stirs from her spot on the windowsill, stretching her little legs before hopping down to rub against your leg. 

"hey, maple," you say softly, giving her a gentle scratch behind the ears before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

within thirty minutes, you're dressed and heading out the door, your mind already on that iced mocha. the walk to the coffee shop is short, and you smile at the familiar sight of the cozy little café as you approach. 

it’s not too crowded this morning, just a few people scattered around with their laptops and books at the wooden glossed tables.

you step up to the counter, already knowing your order by heart. as you wait for the barista to finish up with a few other customers, the bell above the door rings, signaling someone’s entrance. 

you glance over out of habit, not thinking much of it—until you see a familiar face.

georgia stanway. from the group chat.

you freeze for a second, your brain trying to catch up with what you’re seeing. she’s dressed casually, a grey hoodie pulled over her head with matching joggers, but there’s no mistaking her. 

she’s one of the girls from the bayern munich chat, and she’s just walked into your coffee shop. you’re not sure what to do—does she even care enough to want to talk to you in person? you’ve never spoken to any of them face-to-face, aside from a few private messages with sydney about food spots.

you’re still debating what to do when georgia looks up and catches your eye.

for a moment, you're sure she doesn’t recognize you, but then her face breaks into a smile.

"y/n?" she asks, her voice tinged with surprise.

you nod, unable to stop the grin that spreads across your face. 

"yeah, hey!"

before you know it, georgia’s quickly walking over to you, pulling you into a quick hug. 

"oh my days, i didn’t think i’d run into you here!" she laughs, stepping back. 

"i’ve been waiting to meet you. what are you doing at this café?"

you chuckle nervously, still a little stunned. 

"i live just down the street. this is my usual spot."

georgia’s eyes widen. 

"no way! i live right down the street too. this is my favorite café."

"seriously?" you laugh. 

"i’ve been coming here almost every day since i moved."

"well, i guess we’re neighbors now," georgia says, still grinning. 

"small world, huh?"

you nod, feeling the nervousness melt away. georgia’s warmth and friendliness are exactly how she was in the group chat, and you’re already starting to feel comfortable.

"what are you getting?" georgia asks, stepping up to the counter with you.

"an iced mocha and a plain bagel with butter," you reply.

georgia raises her eyebrows, impressed. 

"fancy. i’m just going for a regular iced coffee today. practice from last night has drained me."

the two of you place your orders and find a table near the window, settling in for what turns into an easy conversation. 

you talk about the neighborhood, about your favorite spots so far, and about how surreal it is to finally meet each other in person.

"i can’t believe we live so close," georgia says at one point, shaking her head. 

"i knew you were in munich, but i didn’t think we’d run into each other like this. we were all planning to invite you to the games in order to get the chance to see you!"

"oh my– and me neither," you admit, smiling as you sip your iced mocha. 

"but this is nice. makes the city feel a little less big, you know?"

georgia nods, her eyes sparkling with excitement. 

"so, what have you been up to? besides chilling at this café."

you shrug. 

"mostly work. i’ve been working remotely, so i spend a lot of time here or at home with maple."

"maple?"

"my cat," you explain with a laugh. 

"she’s a tabby. super lazy."

"cute. i’m more of a dog person, but cats are cool!" georgia says, leaning back in her chair. 

"speaking of lazy, i have to head to practice soon, but we need to hang out again sometime. we all think it’s nice having a non-football friend."

you smile at that. 

"yeah, i’d like that."

before you leave, georgia pulls out her phone. 

"we need to send a pic to the group chat. everyone’s gonna freak out that we met in person!"

you laugh as she leans in for a quick selfie. 

"okay, ready?" she says, holding the phone up. you smile, and she snaps the photo. within seconds, it’s posted in the group chat.

georgia: *one photo attachment*

georgia: look who i ran into!!

the chat blows up immediately.

sydney: NO WAY.

klara: LUCKY???!!!!!

tuva: i’m dying omg 

lena: jealous af rn 

sarah: this is too cute. i can’t 

you laugh as the messages roll in, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. you hadn’t expected to feel this connected to them, but here you are, genuinely happy that you’ve met georgia.

"i knew they’d freak out," georgia says with a grin, pocketing her phone. 

"anyway, i gotta head to practice, but let’s hang out soon, yeah?"

"for sure," you reply, standing up as well. 

"i’m heading to the gym anyway."

"perfect timing," georgia says, pulling you into another quick hug. 

"see you later, neighbor."

"see you," you say, waving as she heads out the door.

as you walk back home, you feel a strange sense of contentment. you hadn’t expected to make friends so quickly in munich, but here you are, part of a group of girls who seem genuinely happy to have you around—even if the way you met was unconventional.

later that afternoon, after you’ve finished your workout and settled back in at home, you check your phone again. more messages have piled up in the group chat, and you scroll through them with a smile.

tuva: y/n, you should come to our game this weekend. we’re playing frankfurt at home

sydney: YES. you have to come. it’s gonna be epic.

lea: you don’t really have a choice y/n 

you blink, surprised by the invitation. you hadn’t even thought about going to one of their games, but now that they’re asking, you find yourself grinning.

you: lea i’d love to anyways! count me in.

the excitement in the chat is immediate.

kathi: yessss! it’s gonna be so fun.

sydney: we’ll hook you up with tickets and the seating stuff. don’t worry about a thing!

lena: you can sit with kathi and i! we can’t play because of our acl injuries

y/n: ouu

y/n: ouu to the seating, not you and kathi being injured

klara: don’t lie y/n

   kathi: ?? 

   lena: ????? 

klara: i’m kidding!

y/n: LMAO

ana g: see you soon y/n!

the day of the bayern munich vs. frankfurt game arrive a few days later. you’re feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. this is your first time attending a professional football match, and it’s not just any match—it’s your new friends’ match. 

these girls, whom you’ve gotten to know through a mistaken group chat, are now part of your life, and you’re here to support them. its out-of-body to you.

you stand outside the stadium, ticket on your phone, which sydney had sent to you earlier in the week. as you walk in, you can’t help but take in the electric atmosphere. fans are streaming in from every direction, wearing red and white scarves, chanting and singing in excitement. 

the energy is contagious.

after buying a pretty bayern-themed scarf from the merch stand, you wrap it around your neck for good measure. it feels like the perfect way to show support for your new friends, even though you’ve only known them for about a month. 

they’ve been so welcoming, and you can’t help but feel grateful for how things have turned out.

you glance at your phone, double-checking the seating section sydney had mentioned in her text. the ticket leads you to the family and friends section, which surprises you. 

you didn’t expect to be sitting somewhere so special for the team. then again, you didn’t expect to be here at all a month ago.

when you reach your row, you notice that the seats directly beside you are still empty, but that’s okay. you sit down, adjusting your scarf and the brown bomber jacket you’d chosen for the game. the late evening breeze is cool, but the jacket keeps you warm as you watch the girls warm up on the pitch below.

as you look out at the field, you spot all of the familiar faces from the group chat—they’re already practicing. you can’t help but smile, knowing you’ve gotten to know these players beyond just their professional personas. 

the same moment– you see two figures walking together along the bottom of the family and friends section, heading in your direction: 

lena and kathi.

you try not to stare, pretending you’re just casually looking around as they get closer to the section where you're seated. 

it’s impossible not to notice when they head directly toward you. your heart skips a beat, unsure of what to expect.

"y/n!!!?" kathi grins, stopping beside you. 

"hii its nice to finally meet you!"

"oh, hey!!!" you stand up, a bit flustered but smiling. 

"it’s so good to finally meet you guys in person."

kathi pulls you into a hug, and lena smiles as she steps closer, giving you a quick hug as well. 

"we were wondering when we’d run into you," lena says, her voice warm and teasing.

"same here," you laugh nervously. 

"i wasn’t sure i’d see any of you outside the chat."

"well, now you’re stuck with us," kathi jokes, sitting down on your left, while lena settles in on your right. 

"this seat taken?"

"nope, all yours," you reply, staying cool despite the fact that you’re suddenly sitting between two bayern stars. 

"so, you come here often?" lena asks, nudging you lightly as she adjusts her scarf.

you grin. 

"this is my first time at a soc- sorry, football match, actually."

kathi raises an eyebrow. 

"wait, you’ve never been to a football game?"

"not really," you admit, feeling a little sheepish. 

"i know how the game works, but i’ve just never watched it. i played basketball growing up in the states."

"basketball? that’s cool," kathi says, her eyes lighting up with interest. 

"i could never get the hang of basketball. too many rules."

"too many rules?" lena laughs, shaking her head. 

"you’re a footballer, and you think basketball has too many rules?"

"okay, fair," kathi grins, giving lena a playful nudge from around your shoulder.  

"but come on, football’s just easier to follow."

"yeah, yeah, whatever," lena says with a grin. 

then, turning back to you, she asks, "so. .y/n tell me– do you have any other friends in munich? or maybe… a boyfriend?"

you laugh, not expecting the question. 

"oh, no. definitely no boyfriend."

lena raises an eyebrow, intrigued. 

"really?"

"yeah," you nod, still smiling. 

"i don’t swing that way."

kathi lets out a quiet snicker, and lena shoots her a quick look—one of interest. 

kathi just rolls her eyes playfully, clearly aware that lena is trying to flirt. 

you, of course, are oblivious and continue chatting as if nothing is unusual.

"good to know," lena says, her tone lighter, almost teasing.

before the conversation can continue, kathi jumps in, steering it away from lena’s not-so-subtle flirting. 

"so, any hobbies? other than being in random group chats with footballers?"

"actually, yeah," you say, smiling at the memory of your last project. "i do ceramics."

"no way," kathi says, clearly impressed. 

"that’s awesome. i’ve always wanted to try something like that."

"you should! there’s a ceramics studio in downtown munich. i’m going to a class next week if you guys want to come with me on wednesday."

"i’m in," kathi says instantly, grinning.

"i’d love to, but i’ve got a thing with adidas that day," lena says, frowning slightly. 

"but next time for sure."

"no worries," you say, understanding. 

"it sounds like you guys are always busy with something."

"pretty much," kathi sighs, leaning back in her seat. 

"but hey, at least we get days like today to relax."

you glance over at lena and kathi, both of them sitting out of this gme due to their ACL injuries. 

"how are you guys doing with the injuries, by the way?"

"we’re getting there," kathi says with a small smile. 

"it sucks, but we’re doing okay."

"yeah," lena adds. 

"it’s tough watching from the sidelines, but we’re handling it."

just then, a loud cheer erupts from the crowd as the game kicks off. you turn your attention to the field, watching as bayern and frankfurt begin to battle it out.

about thirty minutes into the game, georgia breaks through frankfurt’s defense and scores a stunning goal. the crowd screams, and you, kathi, and lena all clap enthusiastically.

"that’s our girl," kathi grins, clapping as she watches georgia celebrate with her teammates.

you lean over slightly, grinning as you point towards georgia. 

"so how does someone kick a ball that far? seriously, that was impressive."

lena smirks and leans in a little closer to you, her eyes playful. 

"how do you shoot a three-pointer?"

you laugh. 

"practice, lots of practice. you’ve just got to get the right angle, arm strength, and—"

"so basically, the same thing as kicking a ball from outside the penalty box?" lena teases.

"i guess you could say that," you reply with a grin, enjoying the playful banter.

the three of you settle into the game, chatting in between plays and cheering for bayern.  

as you talk, you can’t help but notice people around you taking pictures. kathi and lena are well-known, and while you’re not used to the attention, it’s clear that people are curious about who you are. 

who’s the girl sitting with two injured bayern players? whispers and glances are cast in your direction from photographers and fans, but you try not to pay it any mind.

by halftime, the score is still 1-0 in favor of bayern, and lena and kathi stand up to stretch. 

"we’re going to the lounge," kathi says, glancing down at you. 

"you coming?"

you hesitate, unsure if you’re even allowed. 

"i thought that was just for family and players?"

lena laughs. "you’re on the list. we put you down as one of our guests. you’re our friend."

"seriously?" you feel a smile spread across your face, touched by the gesture. 

"that’s amazing. i had no idea."

"come on, let’s go," kathi says, waving you along. 

"you’ve got to see it."

you follow them to the lounge, which is a lot fancier than you expected. plush couches, tables lined with snacks, and a relaxed atmosphere for family and friends of the team to hang out during halftime. 

"you know– it’s so nice to have a friend who’s not a footballer," lena speaks. 

"i’m glad you guys like my presence," you admit, still in awe of how quickly everything’s changed since that random group chat.

“oh, i definitely do.” lena smirks. 

kathi roles her eyes at lena while smiling. 

"it feels like you’re one of us now." kathi says, nudging you. 

after the break, the three of you head back out to your seats just in time to see bayern score another goal. this time, it’s klara who fires a screamer from way outside the penalty box, sending the ball soaring into the back of the net. the crowd erupts, and you clap along with lena and kathi.

lena glances over at you with a playful smile. 

"i’ve got to say, y/n," she starts, her voice light but with that familiar teasing edge, 

"you’re really pulling off that look. the brown bomber jacket, the bavarian scarf—you're fitting in with the bayern fans already."

you laugh, tugging at the scarf and feeling a little flustered by the compliment. 

"oh, thanks. i wasn’t sure if i could pull off the whole ‘bayern fan’ look, but here we are."

"oh, you’re pulling it off," lena says, her eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than you expect. there’s something in her tone—something that makes your heart skip a beat—but you shrug it off, thinking she’s just being friendly.

kathi, sitting on your other side, shoots lena a knowing look. 

"careful, lena. you’re laying it on pretty thick," she says, grinning as she leans forward to catch your eye. 

"she’s just messing with you, y/n."

you chuckle, completely oblivious to the flirtatious undercurrent. 

"well, it’s working. i feel like a proper football fan now."

"you look like one too," lena adds, her smile widening as she casually adjusts the scarf around your neck. her fingers brush lightly against your skin, and for a brief second, there’s a flicker of something more in the way she’s looking at you. 

again, you chalk it up to her just being playful. after all, you’ve only known these girls for a month—there’s no way lena’s flirting, right?

"okay, okay," you laugh, trying to shake off the slight awkwardness you feel. 

"i get it, i look the part. but you two are the real stars here."

"oh please," kathi says, rolling her eyes. 

"we’re benched, remember? lena and i are just here for moral support. you’re the real star for coming to your first game and surviving sitting with us."

you smile, feeling comfortable with them even though you’re completely out of your element. 

"honestly, i’ve had so much fun already. i didn’t realize how intense football could be."

"you haven’t seen anything yet," lena says, nudging your arm. 

"this is just a regular league game. wait until you see the champions league.” 

"yeah, lena’s right. the energy in those games is something else," kathi adds, leaning back in her seat and stretching.

you nod, already imagining the bigger games. "i can’t wait to see more."

"and now that you’re here in munich," lena says, leaning a little closer, 

"we’ll have to make sure you come to more games. maybe we’ll even get you onto the pitch someday."

"me? on the pitch? you guys would concede twenty goals before the second half." you laugh, shaking your head. 

"i’m just here to watch. you guys are the pros."

"oh, i don’t know," lena says, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

 

"you’ve got the look down, you’ve got the enthusiasm. all you need now is a little practice."

"practice?" you raise an eyebrow, amused. 

"i don’t think i’d last five minutes on the field."

kathi grins, leaning in from the other side. 

"i think you’d surprise yourself. plus, you play basketball, right? you’ve got the coordination."

"it’s not the same thing," you say, laughing. 

"i’ve never even kicked a ball before."

"we’ll fix that," lena says confidently, her hand brushing against your arm again. 

"next time we’re at the training grounds after our injury rehab, you should come. we’ll show you how it’s done."

kathi watches the exchange, clearly picking up on lena’s flirty tone, but you remain completely oblivious. 

you just smile, nodding along as if they’re simply making friendly suggestions.

"yeah, i’m sure i’ll be a natural," you joke, but lena’s gaze lingers on you for a beat longer, and kathi gives her a subtle nudge.

by the time the final whistle blows after the game, bayern has secured a solid 3-0 victory, and the atmosphere in the stadium is electric. you clap and cheer along with the rest of the fans, feeling proud of your friends on the field.

"let’s go down and meet everyone," lena says, standing up and stretching.

"wait, meet everyone?" you ask, your eyes wide.

"yeah, come on," kathi says, grinning as she grabs your hand and pulls you toward the field. 

"we’re taking you down to meet the whole team."

you can hardly believe this is happening. as the three of you make your way onto the pitch, your heart races. you’ve seen these girls on instagram or in the group chat, but now you’re about to meet them in person.

as soon as they spot you, georgia, sydney, tuva, and the rest of the team come running over, laughing and cheering.

“y/n!!” sam kerr squeals as she jogs over.

"it’s the wrong number girl!" tuva jokes, pulling you into a hug. 

"i was starting to think you were a figment of my imagination." the norwegian continued. 

“no no, i am real!” you laugh as she patted your shoulder. 

"y/n!!!!" 

you look over to see sydney sprinting to you from the benches.

she nearly tackles you as her strong body pushes yours into a hug. shes happy just as you were. you’ve talked to her more individually than the rest of the girls throughout the month, so you are most familar with syd. 

sydney pulls back from the hug but keeps her hands on your shoulders. 

"finally! it’s so good to meet you in person."

you smile, feeling the warmth of her welcome. 

"yeah, it feels surreal, honestly."

"how’s munich treating you so far?" she asks, genuinely interested, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"it’s been great," you reply, nodding. 

"i’m still getting used to everything, but it’s such a beautiful city like you’ve said. i’ve just been trying new places, you know?"

"that’s awesome," sydney says, giving you an approving nod. 

"i’m glad you’re settling in. you’re gonna love it here once you get into the groove. georgia mentioned you live near her?"

"yeah, just a few streets down, actually."

"perfect!" sydney says, her smile widening. 

"do you have a ride home? i can give you a ride home if you want. i’m heading that way anyway."

you blink, surprised by the offer, but then you nod, grateful. 

"i was just going to take the bus home but that’d be great syd, thank you so much."

"no problem," she says, waving off your thanks. 

"plus, tomorrow, you should join us for lunch. by us i mean me and sam. we are going to get pizza if you’re interested!?” 

"that’s awesome, i’d love to" you say, clapping her hands together once as sydney pulls you in for a last hug– just happy to see you after speaking for a full month. 

you laugh, feeling a sense of ease settle in. sydney’s kindness wasn’t surprising since she has always been kind and humorous in her messages. 

a hand touches your shoulders and you see lena’s bestfriend– lea. the woman’s blonde hair and blue eyes complimented each other and you couldn’t help but smile.

"lea!!!" you laugh, hugging her.

"it’s so good to meet you," lea says, smiling warmly against your shoulder. 

"its nice seeing you in person rather than in pictures on my phone." lea continued. 

you blush, overwhelmed by how kind they all are. it feels like you’ve known these girls for years, not just weeks. 

as the hugs and introductions continue, you can’t help but feel like you’ve found your friends here in munich.

pernille and magda walk over, and you freeze slightly. of course you’ve talked to them in the groupchat but you’ve recently discovered that they’re one of the most iconic couples in women’s football. 

"so, you’re the famous y/n," pernille says with a grin, her arm coming to wrap around your shoulders. 

"uh, yeah, i guess that’s me," you say, feeling your cheeks heat up.

"you’re adorable," magda says, giving you a once-over before flashing you a smile.

"thanks," you mumble, feeling your face grow even hotter. these girls are all so effortlessly cool, and you’re still trying to wrap your head around the fact that they’ve accepted you into their world.

after chatting with the team for a while, discussing the game and making jokes, you realize just how lucky you are to have stumbled into this friendship. 

sure, it started with a wrong number, but now, standing on the pitch surrounded by these incredible women, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

as the night winds down, sydney meets you after changing and showering in the locker rooms. she grins as the both of you walk to her car, georgia already waiting. 

sydney agreed to take the both of you home. since you and georgia are neighbors and sydney lives a couple of minutes away.

"so, what do you think y/n? are you a football fan now?"

"definitely," you laugh, glancing around at the team. "i can’t believe you guys play that amazing sport."

“It's exhausting sometimes though.” georgia says from the passenger seat as you settle in the middle seat in sydney’s car. 

“i feel you. i mean i’m not a professional footballer, but i did play basketball for many years.” you say. 

“that's not shocking, you look athletic.” sydney says as georgia nods her head.

“thank you! i can’t believe the one and only sydney lohmann is complimenting me.” you joke and georgia laughs. 

"believe it," sydney says, reaching over her drivers seat to pat your left knee. 

"we’re not letting you go anytime soon."

part three here

[gojo-mochi]

Softy I see you’re doing requests and I thought about it long and hard but the only thing I can think of would be sending Sabo a spicy text at a meeting >.> idk if you can do anything with that but the gloved man came to my mind

<33333

OMG I imagine it's a Meeting with Dragon too, a serious meeting at least. That requires all of his attention and focus…You can read this as a modern AU or in canon where they have cell(snail)phone that can text and send pictures etc

TW: Slight Voyuerism, Sexting

Usually at these sorts of meetings, no one is supposed to be on their phones, but Sabo tends to get bored when the older people go on long tangents during their spiel. So during the slow times of meetings, Sabo would secretly go on his phone under the desk. 

Pretending to keep all eyes on the speaker while actually just scrolling through Twitter or messaging you about how boring this meeting is. Dragon is the only one who notices when Sabo isn’t paying attention, but he doesn’t mind it since Sabo can pull his own weight when push comes to shove. 

You and Sabo were texting back and forth for a bit about mundane things when an idea popped into your head. You were getting bored waiting for him to come back home, so you decided to be a little cheeky today and send him a little bit of motivation~

You had to prepare your treat, so you left Sabo on hold for a bit, which he did not like. Sending you sad pictures of cats, increasing in volume with every minute you were gone. The latest sent picture is somehow sadder than the last cat. 

You come back to your phone notification going off, rolling your eyes at his antics. You text him to calm down and that you needed to go do something, while Sabo retorts back with that nothing is more important than alleviating his boredom. Then he quickly adds that unless you got hurt, someone broke in, or the house is on fire, then please feel free to ignore me until you are safe and healthy again. 

You smile at his message, sending him a quick “<3” and then posing on the bed to take a selfie. It took a couple of tries, but you finally got the right angle, lighting, and pose all in one. You quickly sent it over to Sabo before he sent another barrage of sad cat memes. 

Sabo, at the time of receiving that picture, had been called on by one of the other members at the meeting. They sought his opinion on the topics they had just discussed. Luckily for him, Sabo was good at lying and manipulating; he just sprouted out some fancy nonsense with enough charm, and mostly everyone would believe him. 

The other members all nod their heads and murmur agreements before moving on to the next topic. Sabo sighs under his breath and checks his phone, noticing that you sent a picture. Curiosity gets the better of him, and he opens it up without a second thought. Finding you posed on the bed, sitting on your knees with your legs spread, wearing only his dress shirt. Which was opened, revealing everything underneath in a tasteful manner, of course, a tease if you will. 

You were giving the camera a bashful look, making straight eye contact with the lens, so it would look like you were looking directly at Sabo when he opened up the picture. All your hard work paid off handsomely, as Sabo immediately felt his pants tighten. He curls his fist in as he breathes in heavily, trying not to show on his face that he has a hard on right now. 

Dragon silently quirks an eyebrow his way, but Sabo ignores him as he sees another text coming from you.  

“Miss you so much… could you please send me something back too, love?” 

The message was followed by a sad cat meme, almost causing Sabo to laugh out loud, but he quickly caught himself. Should he send something back? He can’t ask to excuse himself to go to the bathroom since this is somewhat of an appointment meeting. 

His heart started to pound a bit faster as an idea popped into his head: he could just take the pictures right now, under the desk, where no one would be the wiser.

So he does just that, slowly straightening out his back and flexing his fingers as he tries to focus on whoever is speaking. Sabo begins to slowly undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants, suppressing a groan as he shimmers down his pants to expose more of his boxer. He could feel the wet spot forming on his tip as he pulled down his boxer just slightly to expose some curly blonde pubes. 

He takes a few photos as best he can, just giving you a little tease of what's to come. He sends them over, and soon after, you reply with another set of your own photos. A shot of your chest, a shot of your dripping cunt, and one last shot of you playing with yourself. 

Sabo bit his lips hard upon seeing them, deciding to go even further as excitement and arousal started to heat up inside of him. He slips his gloved hands under his boxers and fully pulls out his throbbing cock. The cold office air hits his leaking tip, instantly causing Sabo to shiver. 

A member notices this and asks Sabo if he is alright. Sabo replies back smoothly. 

“Ah, don’t worry, it's just colder here than I expected.” He smiles at everyone and adjusts his coat. The members resume their chatter. 

Sabo softly sighs to himself and avoids looking at Dragon for the rest of the meeting. Still, he was determined to get one last set of pictures to you, if it was the last thing he did. He lets a few more minutes pass before going right back to his cock once more, wrapping his glove around his length. His hands were too shaky to get a stable photo, so instead he decided to take a video instead. 

The video starts off staring at the floor, slowly panning up Sabo’s leg until he finds the right angle to perfectly capture the full view of his cock. His other hand still on it, pristine leather now covered in precum, as he rubs his thumb on his tip. The precum almost seems to make the leather glove shine in the video, as he uses it as a makeshift lube. 

Stroking up and down on his length, his hands were trembling more and more with each stroke. Causing the video to shake heavily as he almost reached his climax, stopping himself by squeezing his shaft almost painfully tight so he doesn’t paint the underside of this table white. He cuts off the video there and sends it off, quietly shimmering his pants back up and zipping it close, not bothering to redo his belt though. 

The meeting ends soon after, and Sabo stays behind to wait until everyone else leaves first before he gets up. Dragon is the last one to get up before Sabo, as he gives Sabo a heavy look and shakes his head, murmuring to himself about how the youths of today are getting crazier with each generation. 

Sabo ignores all that, hurrying home to you, as he needs help cleaning off his gloves after today. And he knows what your tongue can do to help with that.

[seuonji]

彡 miss miss miss you!

notes ๑ what they do when they miss you. (long distance! they’re on tour.)

genre ๑ fluff

warnings ๑ use of pet names otherwise, non.

word count ๑ 1k

from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3

what’s to miss when he’s calling you all the time? like if he’s not on stage or practicing or with the members, he’s probably on the phone with you!

seungcheol…ring

“ynnie,” he whispered.

“hiding out in a random room again i see?” he’d been going to any enclosed space he can do that the members wouldn’t see or hear him calling you.

“just wanted to talk to you! besides i told the members to take five.”

“yeah but i’m pretty sure you told the members to take five like what, five minutes ago?”

“why’re you being like that? should i end the call?” he pouted.

“tell me what you’ve been up to honey,” you laughed and sighed.

calling you is more of a way of recharging than a slacking off type of situation.

—

joshua…ring ring

“shua?” you called out confused.

“ynn!” he yawns.

it was nighttime but he had to hear your voice.

“what’s up?”

“tell me about your day love.”

he’d eventually fall asleep and he’d apologise about it the next morning but frankly you find it cute.

—

soonyoung, seokmin…ring ring ring

“ynnn.”

“this is the third time you’ve called me today.”

“i missed you!”

“is that so!”

would turn into a long conversation filled with the smallest details of things you did between the time you stopped calling him and now. it’s like filling in a new diary.

+

he sends you things throughout the day everytime he misses you. especially between breaks he’d send you a post or a picture which was like a way of notifying you he’s free so you two could have a conversation.

jeonghan, jun loves sending you pictures of his sceneries along with a caption of what was happening in the photo. in a way he makes you feel like he’s with him. later on when you’re with him and he talks about it, it doesn’t feel too foreign or you won’t get confused.

jun would also send you the most out of context photos like one time he sent you a picture of him picking his nose. it was very insightful at the very least.

—

minghao, vernon sends you posts from his feed. it’s usually posts that reminds you of him. cause range from an art piece from a museum to a picture of a crocodile, no in between.

—

seungkwan often send sends you memes— he actually did the “updating you everything every second” thing for. awhile but eventually got fed up with it and he just tells you all about it when he gets back home.

you both facetime alot and people can tell when you’re calling each other cause it’s so much banter.

+

he misses you every second but he’s really not the type to just spontaneously call you. he usually leaves calling you for the end of the day so in the meantime, he usually scrolls through your social media’s for awhile. but eventually, he sends a text when he realised he seriously misses conversing with you. he wonders what took so long for him to initiate a conversation.

mingyu only held back so long cause you teased him for being clingy like a dog. turns out it was try cause he kept thinking about booking a plane ticket but that would definitely have heads turning.

jihoon, you didn’t even know that man uses social media like that man uses instagram as a catalogue?? nut he likes to see if you’re free or what you’re up to through social media. when you seem free, he’s finally send a text.

calls with jihoon last super long, as long as there’s a topic you can go on for hours but the calls are especially long due to you two falling asleep amidst the call.

+

if he misses you, all the more he avoids texting or calling cause he doesn’t want the feeling to fester. when he feels, he feels hard. he doesn’t do well with distance

wonwoo found it weird. he always liked being by himself but since he met you, he always wants to be around you and that became him norm. but when tour came around, he thought it would be normal, he’s been through tours multiple times but he could feel something was missing as he was sleeping in a king sized bed alone.

he realised it wasn’t a good feeling so he tried to avoid texting you too much cause that would only add on to the fact he misses you.

but it all falters when you called him one night. and that moment felt like bliss. the heavy feelings he had over you disappeared and he got used to the distance. anyways, it was only temporary.

—

chan wasn’t clingy per se but he was used to having you around. he so when tour came around and he felt desolate with the fact you weren’t in his vicinity, he tried to push those feelings away.

he tries to distanced himself in an attempt to get yiud to not being there. he honestly disliked the dependence he had on you.

but it didn’t matter anymore after you called him. he missed your voice, your laugh. he wasn’t embarrassed to admit he misses you, it was just unfortunate he had to wait to see you.

[ur-older-brother]

On Self Harm And How To Deal With It.

Tw: SH (obviously).

If this triggers you then please don't read on. Protect your peace my guy.

I am aware that this is a very touchy subject but due to many asks I've received from my siblings in the last month I feel that it is time to address it.

For those of you that don't me, my name is Zachariah/Wren (don't know how the second name came about but I'm good with it) and I've been self harming since I was 12. My reason to do so (like most other self harmers) was to cope with emotions. Unfortunately it spiraled into a sort of addiction as I got older.

Before I go further I want to state that I am neither pro nor anti self harm. Self harm to is like drinking, smoking, drinking energy drinks, etc. It is bad for the body but I am a firm believer in "Your body, your choice". So I will never encourage it but it would be hypocritical of me to say it's bad. Of course I hope people who self harm find better ways to cope with stress (as I do for alcoholics) but I'm not going to chastise them for it.

For those who wish to quit:

I've had a few asks about this one.

Self harm is a very touchy subject and triggers many people in recovery. As someone who has recovered from previous addictions I applaud anyone who is for doing so. I know it is hard and I truly hope you find your peace.

Somethings that I/others have done that has helped:

● Snap a rubber band on your wrist when the urge arises.

● Identify the emotion behind wanting to and then write about it.

● Go for a walk somewhere FAR from what you would use.

● Pet your dog/cat/lizard and rant to them about what you're feeling.

● Scroll through memes.

● Watch a YouTube video. (My personal choice)

● (Sent in by an anon): something that's helped me is those muscle relaxer creams like bengay or icy hot that have a warning sensation. it's obviously not the same sensation as self harm but it is a sensation and sometimes that helps ride out the urge.

I wish you all the best in your recovery.

If you have any other things you personally do feel free to send them to me and I'll add them to the list.

Now, for those who aren't planning on recovery:

I get a lot of asks on how to clean or hide cuts.

I'm going to talk about cleaning and care.

● If you plan on doing it PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure the object is CLEAN. You DO NOT want an infection. Some are very deadly and many are extremely uncomfortable.

● So you did it. Now what? Now you clean up with some petrolium or whatever you have that cleans wounds. Then, place a bandaid or bandage on but give it room to breathe.

● If you worry about going to deep, then apply pressure to it with a towel. If it is still bleeding steadily after time is up then you do need to get help. I've ignored it before and it didn't end well for me.

● After you're done, do some self care, like reading or watching a silly video.

Some people are okay not hiding scars and some want to. If it's summer time then I suggest getting some good concealer (that's personally what I do).

I have also recieved asks like "i-i cut myself...." or "what would you do if I, yk, cut myself?"

Don't send me asks like this. I will not respond to them and delete them.

I hope this helps and I sincerely hope you find peace.

Older brother, out!

[cosmicallybound]

f u c k. hey darlings, i'm back. a lot has happened. i will post all of this under a read more bc there's some sad talk, and i don't want someone coming across it randomly if they're not in the headspace for it.

i apologize for not being active last week. i thought i would have the time/energy to write while visiting friends/family, but uh... i did not. i am glad that i took the time to go north, as my grandmother passed on... i think wednesday. it's crazy because i looked at pictures from before && after she got sick, && the transformation is staggering. it has been a crazy week, and i'm just... tired. of work, of only having the energy to sit at my desk && game bc my brain doesn't want to work. but, i will be returning north for her ceremony next friday and will take the whole week to mourn/get ready for the spring semester that starts on the 21st... what a great time to be alive. i gently smooch all of you on the forehead.

although i can't write tonight, i do want to interact. so, for those of you that have made it this far, feel free to give this post a like && i will go through your meme tag && send some things in.

[mimez-meme]

Todoroki headcanons❄️🔥

For one Halloween he dressed up as kettle, for another he dressed up as his dad but he regretted doing his dad because he got told ‘wow you look exactly like your dad!” Even tho he knew he was wearing a costume, it still hurt.

has asthma and he gets hyperthermia from his quirk 😼

Since i believe it’s canon that he’s fluent in English SOMETIMES he gets a free period when it comes to English, he mostly just chills outside. but his English grammar isn’t good and he can’t read or write in English so he does go to learn that (he can read some things)

Half blind in the eye were he’s got the scar

Use to wear eye contacts, mostly just on his blue eye because he doesn’t want to look like his dad whatsoever but now he doesn’t

His pain tolerance is quite good due to the training he went through when younger and the overall pain he’s been through his life. He’s described to ‘feel no pain’

Whenever he goes to an arcade now he always tries to win something for Fuyumi, it’s his way of saying thank you. And he’s surprisingly good at claw machines.

He defo laughs/lets out a little chuckle at Facebook mom jokes like “exercise I thought you said extra fries” or just dumb ass memes. Sometimes he sends them to natsuo and Fuyumi, if it’s a meme about hating your dad he’ll send it to endeavour.

Speaks his mind. Says everything out loud without meaning to. If you stink, he will say, if you did something wrong, he will say. (Unless it’s a secret idk) ect ect

Linked to last headcanon if you tell todoroki a secret, izuku and bakugo WILL know.

Once attempted to paint his dorm room but failed miserably, he was painted, not the walls.

Writes down everything on notes app, he even writes down convos sometimes.

Owns dumbass slippers, they look weird and don’t even fit him.

He hates sharing his food. He only offers to share when someone is upset because he doesn’t know how to comfort but if they actually take the food he will be more upset then the person (but not show it) also hates when people chew loud. It annoys the actual shit out of him, once froze a guy because of it.

When he learnt about Mario and Mario games he said “me and peach are alike. Always trapped, and forced to stay with someone you don’t like.” Or something like that idk. Or when he watched frozen for the first time and related to Elsa. Hates zoos for the same reason. he says/thinks the animals are like him. Trapped in a place we’re they can’t get out, forced to eat certain things or the same thing everyday. Trained to do things.. ect. He wants to set free to all the animals.

Always seeks approval from someone before he does something and that’s mostly on trauma.

When it’s summer he sweats easily and ALOT even if he uses his ice side to cool him down. when it’s winter he gets cold easily but he can warm up.

When he got a phone it become a.. kind of escape for him. He can’t use it very well, but he uses it to distract himself from the world when needed.

Has one plushie from childhood. He hates it but loves it. He keeps it hidden in his dorm, and hugs it at night sometimes.. likes to think it’s his mother or something.😗 it was the only gift rei got him but it was after she burnt him so it was a way of saying sorry.. todoroki didn’t really like that

He does not know what love feels like. He didn’t even know he could have platonic love before having friends. He doesn’t know what romantic love feels like so he will never know when he’s inlove with someone but he’s kinda glad it’s that way because he doesn’t necessarily want to be in a romantic relationship because he doesn’t want to be like his father. He finds love confusing.

Because he didn’t use his left side (fire side) for ages due to not wanting to use his ‘fathers’ quirk. Once he started using it again, he got burns and he wasn’t the Absolute best at controlling it. But because he did go through alot of training as a kid he did know what he was doing, just forgot how to apply some of it (if that makes sense.)

Linked to last headcanon. Since he lost some control over it, he was scared on what his father would think if he saw that so he began to overtraining himself again. He wants to not care what his father thinks, he wants to just not care in general. But he can’t help this fear that’s inside him. Izuku noticed this and began to help him and he talked to him.

Only likes cold drinks.

Not use to physical praise, or just praise in general. When present mic patted his head for the first time for doing well in a test he was confused and didn’t get why he was hitting his head but he also kinda liked it, so whenever he does something right in English class or does well he expects a hadpat from present mic or even asks for one. Same thing happened with aizawa but with a hand on shoulder or something like that.

Autistic but isn’t diagnosed yet. But aizawa and present mic has tried to talk to endeavour about it.

Thinks bakugo is his best friend for no reason. Calls him ‘bestie’ and ‘best friend’

Trauma dumps randomly, he doesn’t really mean to but he does. He does it in a funny way tho. For example he was at midoriya’s and inko was making them tea or something and todoroki said to izuku. “Don’t worry izuku. I’ll be here if your mum tries to burn you. Wouldn’t want you to experience that.”

Never celebrated any holidays until he came to UA he was so confused when everyone started celebrating random days, but he started liking them.

Doesn’t understand emojis. If you sent a “😭” to show that you are laughing or something he would be like “why are you crying?”

Use to walk people’s dogs for money and use to send that money to Fuyumi/his siblings

Has sensory issues, hates tight clothing, stuff around his neck (he doesn’t mind necklaces) ect

He doesn’t take fantastic care of his hair but it’s always majestic looking, whenever someone asks what he uses he just says “water.” (He doesn’t just use water but yk)

Views iida as a brother. Sometimes his brain makes him out to be natsuo, sometimes Touya.

Always goes shopping with the girls.. but he just carries their stuff.

He has an animal that reminds me of each of his friends. He sometimes call them by that animal. For example izuku is bunny, bakugo is Chihuahua, momo is horse ect ect. When he calls his friends by the animal it comes off as rude since he can be like ‘horse come here!” Referring to momo😭 but he’s told all his friends so they know. He doesn’t do it that often tho.

Acesexaul and aromantic, unsure if gay or not.

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

——————————————————————————

more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[azulera]

Rashy noticing that's something has been wrong with you for the last few weeks and you just won't tell him and he's stressing trying to figure it out

azulera

Don’t Leave Me Alone

Pairing: Marcus Rashford x Black Reader

Words: 3.5k

Notes: ngl recent events have made me not even want to post but i already had this done and as i said, i do value that ppl like my writing enough to send requests. so here is this! hope u like it anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They'd picked the summer time to move in, late May to be exact, and Marcus was sure it was the smartest decision he’d ever been a part of. The prem season was ended, Y/N was out for the semester, they both had at least five weeks free to travel and relax, and there’d be no cold for the mover’s fingers to go blue in. The transporting itself had gone smoothly, each of her things finding its place in the huge expanse of his house, and the past month and a half of eating, sleeping and waking next to each other had been as nearest to perfect as Marcus thought life might get. So he couldn’t explain what, in the last seven days, could have possibly gone wrong.

“Is everythin alright, love?” He asked over the dinner table, which was sanded wood and brought over from Y/N’s apartment, much smaller than the one he’d used before.

She looked up from her plate and blinked. “Do you mean about dinner? I think I finally got the potatoes right this time, yeah.”

“No, not the food.” The side of his mouth lifted. “You’ve just seemed a bit down, this week, I don’t know. Just wanted to ask, see if there was anythin buggin you?”

“Oh,” She passed a hand over her hair. “Just tired, I guess. It was a rough semester.”

“Yeah, it was – you smashed it, though. But,” He paused until she looked at him, and was immediately taken by her brown eyes, which, unreadable as they were, he’d always found incredibly beautiful. “If anything’s wrong, you can tell me. I’d want to help.”

“Mhm.” She replied, and flitted her eyes away, pushing up from the table. “Let’s clean up?”

He nodded, though he wasn’t convinced, and stood up to take their few dishes to the kitchen. They rinsed and loaded in a silence not as comfortable as it ought to have been, and soon finished, Y/N pausing in front of the rumbling machine. From behind, Marcus pulled her into an embrace, fitting his hands around her waist and mumbling into her neck.

“Wanna come cuddle wi’me for a bit? We can watch the next Narcos.”

He felt her take a deep breath, and then lightly pat the hand that held her.

“I’ve got a little headache, actually. Think m’gonna lay down for the night.”

Marcus frowned. “You want me to watch the next episode? Without you?”

“Yeah, go ahead – I’ll get caught up when you’re on your trip next week. I’d just really like to lay down.”

Fatigue colored her voice, and Marcus felt a little more sure that she really was just under the weather, and not anything worse.

“D’you want me to bring you tea? Water? Medicine?”

She shook her head “no”, and turned around, another sigh hitting the fabric of his t-shirt.

“S’alright, then. Hope you get feeling better, babe.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then two to the dark spirals of her hair. “I’ll be up in a bit. I love you.”

A near silent “thank you” left her lips, and she squeezed his hand once. And then Marcus was left in the kitchen alone.

~~

After a mild pre-season session the next day, Marcus skipped showering to go straight to his car. When he’d seen her that morning, Y/N had still seemed poorly – she hadn’t left bed for tea and breakfast with him, and no silly texts or memes had come into his phone, the way they usually did during his long hours of training. Leaving now, he'd felt a strange, strong urge to get to her, like the sooner he did, the sooner things would go back to normal.

When he keyed into the house, however, her usual lounging spot – in the center of the living room sectional – was empty. As were the kitchen, bedroom, gym and laundry room that he walked to after. He found her instead on the back patio, cuddled into herself on the sunbed, with her curls spread wild and loose about her shoulders. A book was opened up and settled on her knees, and a pile of crumpled tissues sat just to her right.

“Hey, was lookin for you.”

The jitters that assailed him finally began to slow as he approached her, but didn’t fade completely.

“What’s all these for? You wasn’t crying, were you?”

“No, no, not really. It’s just this book. It’s pretty sad.” She tried to laugh at herself, but the sound came out wet and dull. “Or maybe I’m just dramatic.”

A range of emotions swept over him as he considered her pink, puffy eyes, the way she still wouldn’t hold his gaze for too long. His anxiety flared again, but he continued on with the plan he’d devised in the car, hopeful that it might still work.

“Well, I’m just about to run a bath, didn’t have time to shower after training. It could cheer you up, maybe. Did you wanna join me?”

It’s something special they do, just for them, a quiet and closeness involved that Marcus enjoyed far more than he’d ever said aloud. He hoped it would be enough to break through the wall he felt sprouting between them.

“But you’re all sweaty.” She said flatly.

He sucked his teeth, and sat alongside her on the thin mattress.

“That never stopped you before? When we were squeezed up in the one at your flat.”

“Right.” Her face fell, suddenly, as if she’d remembered something unpleasant. “But I’ve already showered, actually, a bit ago. Went out for a run.”

“That never stopped you before, either” Marcus wanted to say but didn’t, and focused instead on fixing his face to not reveal his disappointment.

“Okay.” He stalled a moment, weighing his next move. “Babe, are you sure everything is okay with you? M’a bit worried–”

“It’s fine, Marcus. It’s going to be fine, just …” She closed her eyes, and they glistened when they opened, focused seriously on his own. “I’m fine. Just stop pushing it, please.”

She gathered her book and trash and walked back into the house, which hurt him, but her last sentences hurt worse. If he wasn't meant to push, then what could he do? Sitting back and watching her pull further and further away from him was tortuous and seemed the opposite of what a good partner should do. Still, he nodded, even though she had already gone, and let his head fall into his hands.

A few hours later, in the bath, the jacuzzi jets going but alone, nothing was as it should have been. Already he missed the slide of her wet skin against his, how the brown of it went faintly pink the hotter she ran the water, which was scalding enough by Marcus’ standards. Now it felt lukewarm at best, the bubbles even less fluorescent, less bubbly than usual, without her there to scoop handfuls of them to paste on his face and chest, making herself giggle and cleaning their bodies in the process. He missed that, too, he realized, her body – it’s softness and strength, and how easily it yielded and came alive under his hands, but more concerning was her mind, which was somewhere outside its optimal state, and seemingly getting worse by the day.

He leaned his head back against the tub’s edge and sighed. It was a soft sound, quickly lost among the hum of the jets and the noise of his muscles singing and thanking him, but then he heard something else. Crying. Quiet, choked-off sobs from the other side of the en suite door, that he knew Y/N was trying to hide, but didn’t know why. The sound alone carved a hole deeper in his chest.

Before he realized it, he’d risen from the bath, shampoo still in his hair, and pushed open the door to their bedroom.

Squinting through the dark, Marcus could tell she was in the bed, asleep, or at least pretending to be. He debated whether or not to wake her – his every instinct begged him to, but the noise of tears had stopped, and he’d been specifically, harshly instructed not to “push”.

He waited several moments anyway, eyeing her sleeping form, burning up inside, but when she didn’t budge, he stepped back into the bathroom, mindful of the growing puddle he’d created on the carpet.

Under the shower head, he rinsed his hair and dried off, putting on his lotion and moisturizer in record time, all the while his mind racing, trying to settle the unease twisting up his chest and throat. When he got to the bedroom, he set his alarm and settled in under the covers behind her, as close as he dared.

Though her breaths came and went evenly, something in him, maybe something of his own creation, told him she was awake, that she could hear him. He felt free to unburden himself, and say what he wanted her to know.

“M’here for you, Y/N.” He used one arm to hold her against his chest, and the other to fix her hair scarf where it had ridden up in the back. “Hope you know that. Whatever it is, we can … fix it, talk about it, at least, together. Love you ... don’t wanna lose you.”

He knew the words were true, and could feel their sincerity aching somewhere deep in his bones. But he feared he was running out of ways to make sure Y/N believed it, too.

~~

By the following day, Marcus decided “not pushing” was no longer a viable option. Y/N was gone from bed even before him, and he turned to his night-table to find a message saying she’d gone out for an early run again and to get coffee. It wasn’t a strange occurrence on its own, but the way the last few days had gone, weeks really, this latest change to their patterns was enough to set him on a nervous edge. All through the day, his head was gone, drifting and distracted while training, and his thoughts sprinting to the worst - Y/N wanted to move out, she wanted to break up with him – in any moment he had idle.

But when his third check-in text sent from the rain-wet bed of the physio suite went unanswered, as did the two facetime call requests, it became slightly harder for him to breathe. The PT scrunched his face, but Marcus didn’t explain, wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak if he tried, and he’d been forced through two rounds of deep breathing before he’d let him off the table.

As soon as the gaffer released them, Marcus raced home through the rain that had begun to pour, calling one more time to no avail, but trying to stay rational. He imagined her sat in her spot on the big sofa in the sitting room when he arrived, apologetic and with some perfectly logical story of what had kept her from her phone all day, and what had depressed her mood the past few weeks.

He opened the front door, however, to silence, and her car keys still gone. His stomach dropped, and an icy, despairing prickle crawled over his skin. Was he overreacting? Or should he have pushed more?

Somehow he knew the rest of the house and even the back porch would be empty, just as silent, and found himself climbing the stairs anyway. His legs stopped by the room he used as his office, and he threw himself into the desk chair. He felt more calm, serious in there, for some reason, and composed himself enough to check her location, which was inconclusive, and click her contact another time. It went to voicemail once again, and he cursed, pulling at his hair.

After one heavy, frantic beat, he picked up the phone again to dial the only other number that would be useful at a time like this. The call picked up on the second ring.

“Mum?”

~~

Marcus’ car had been in the driveway when you pulled up, but when you stepped into his house – your house, now – there wasn’t any trace of him. Late afternoon training usually left him in the kitchen or theater room, scarfing down whatever meals his nutritionist prepared before conking out in his-your bed for a few hours until dinner.

You checked your phone, which had been dead up until the last five minutes when you’d connected it to the car charger, and realized it was closer to dinner time than you’d thought.

Dropping off your raincoat and bag, you went in search of him. The blaring missed calls and texts deserved a response, as hard as it would be to face him in person. You didn’t want him to worry any more than he already did, even though you felt there was little, if anything, he could do.

“Marcus?” You called up the stairs, but there was only your footsteps, the patter of rain, in answer.

You began climbing anyway, sure the sounds of the house would lead you to him, and eventually heard his voice, muffled through the closed door of his office. You stopped, and leaned against the wall to listen.

“She won’t talk to me, mum, she won’t, I’ve tried everythin. She’s not physically hurt, no, but something is wrong. I know that much. It’s like she don’t even want to be around me.”

There was a pause, and an ache began in your chest. The distress in your partner’s voice was palpable.

“But I’ve gave her space. And I’ve even asked her up front what’s wrong, and still nothin. I'm leavin for my trip in a few days, and I won’t be able to fix anythin from there. Reckon she might even be gone by then.”

Each second you listened, you fell further and further into the mire of guilt, and it seemed impossible to get out. Some external force, whose name or origin you didn’t know, forced your hand onto the knob and pushed into the room.

You met his eyes, cautious, but found nothing but relief, unshed tears in them.

“Y/N. Baby.” His voice cracked around the words, and he flew to your side of the room, crushing you to his body, burying his face in your damp hair.

“Are you hurt? Are you okay? Where were you?”

You tried, but couldn't speak around the lump in your throat. All you wanted was for him to hold you again, and to apologize for everything.

“Y/N. You’ve gotta talk to me, please. M’goin mad here, I’ve been goin mad–”

“I’m okay, Marcus. I’m not hurt.” You squeezed at his hands, trying to loosen their tight grip around your back and also trying to ground him. “Went for my run and coffee like I said, and then around to visit my mates at my old flat. My phone died, and I didn’t realize. I should’ve known you would worry.”

He looked back at you with wide eyes still, nodding slow like it was taking serious effort to comprehend the words leaving your mouth.

“I’m okay, baby. I promise.”

When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly, but much quieter, and none of the terror gone from it.

“Y/N, look, know you asked me not to push, but I can't just do nothin while–”

“Wait, Marcus – can we sit and do this? Please. And you’ve gotta get out of this jacket, babe, it’s soaked. You’ll catch a cold.”

The familiar sound of your fussing seemed to center him further, and he slid the jacket off, settling stiffly on the futon along the opposite wall. His legs were spread wide, and he raised his hands to his knees, fingers digging into them.

Hesitantly, you followed, standing between his legs, watching his eyes, which you’d missed, and his lips, which you’d possibly missed even more. You paused before lowering yourself onto his knee.

“Is this okay?”

“‘Course” He breathed out, pulling you the rest of the way down and rubbing his hands gently up and down your back. It was the first moment you’d felt at ease in the last two weeks, and you took the time to just hug him, wiping at a drop of water puddled along his hairline. Gradually, everything that had been pent-up seemed much easier to face.

“I’ve been real distant the past weeks, haven’t I.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s cause I’ve been confused.”

“Confused about what?”

The intensity of his eyes suddenly became too much, and you pressed your cheek against his shoulder. You made sure your voice still reached him clear.

“Confused about my feelings. About us, about us living together.”

His stomach had gone cold with dread again, but you took the silence as a license to continue. You knew he would stop you if and when he’d heard enough.

“It’s been great, it really has, Marcus. You’re my favorite person to be around – you know that.” His insides smiled at the mention, since the past week had convinced him of the opposite. Still, his expression remained the same.

“And you seemed so happy, having me here. But sometimes, lately, it got — I don’t know, overwhelming? Like, I had my friends in my last flat with me, and it feels like I spend so much time here alone. When you’re here, I don’t feel like that, but that don't feel fair to you either.”

He bit his lip. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, it’s confusing, but it’s like, I’m used to my roommates, us all together, a lot of noise – even when you’re alone you’re not really alone. So whenever you get here, I want to recreate that, spend every second with you, if I can. Didn’t want you to think I was clinging, though? ‘Cause I know how that feels, too.” You paused to take a breath, and Marcus rubbed your back, silent encouragement to continue.

“Thought you should be able to come home and spend your time on your own, too, if that’s what you wanted. So I was moping, but trying to give you that, for a while. Thought that if I could give you some space until your trip next week, I’d be okay. I could use that week to get myself together, stop being ungrateful. ‘Cause I am so lucky, aren’t I? To be able to live with this person I love so much. But I guess I only made it worse.”

“So it’s findin a balance, then, that was hard. Findin ... where you and I, personal time ends, and where “us” time begins.” Marcus summarized.

There was an unspoken “Why didn’t you just say so?” at the back of his statement that your partner was too kind and too patient to say. But you deserved it, so you said it yourself.

“Exactly. But I should have told you that it was eating me up. Not tried to isolate myself, or shut you out. And I’m sorry, about that. ”

Marcus let the apology ring out, and laced the fingers of one of your hands together, a quiet absolution. You felt lighter, now, after having spoken your piece, but knew that didn’t mean the conservation was over.

“Don’t think I need to say I forgive you, because,” He leaned his chin into his palm thoughtfully, before looking up at you. “Because I really get it, you know. I do. I understand that you need your own space, to feel like your own person still. And also that I’m gone, and it’s just you here, a lot, which is new for you. I get that it’s overwhelming, that findin the balance bit. But– I’ve never done this, moved in with someone before, either, have I? It’s excitin, but it’s a lot of other emotions, too. You can’t assume how m’feeling, or how I want to spend my time, just like I can’t read your mind about what's got you upset, innit?”

He paused.

“And it’s like, we’ve gotta figure it out together, don’t we?”

You nodded.

“So when -if, you’re feelin like that again, you’ll tell me? Even if you think it’ll hurt my feelings, or whatever. And if you need to go spend extra time with your mates to feel alright, we’ll sort it. And I’ll do the same. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

"You promise?"

You promised, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and chin against his head. With the most difficult part of the conversation over, your senses opened up enough beyond Marcus to notice that the sound of rain outside had ceased. The wet, grassy smell of his training kit finally entered your nose, and your good humor began to stretch its legs.

“So I don’t need to go pack my things?” You mumbled into his shoulder.

“No.” Marcus snorted. “Not unless you changed your mind the last 15 seconds.”

“Nah, I reckon I’ll stay. I'd miss the jacuzzi tub too much.” You sighed. “Saying no to that bath with you was the hardest thing I ever done.”

Marcus chuckled, enough air in his chest to do so now, and kissed you lightly on the lips.

“Fancy one now?” He repeated, and your “please” was fast and enthusiastic. He scooped you in his arms, and you held tight to him, murmuring quiet “I love you”s and knowing as you walked through the house –your house– that you were exactly where you were meant to be.

[monstersinthecosmos]

but now the cosmos crawls with monsters

KACY. 30s. She/They.

This blog contains adult content, please do not follow if you are a minor.

hi friends! I'm Kacy, I write fanfiction! I like ducks and heavy metal! I mostly use this space to talk about The Vampire Chronicles, but I also like Sheith, and horror films, and kink theory! I am an asexual porn writer and I'm obsessed with Marius!

LINKS

AO3 - I am monstersinthecosmos on AO3, I write porn about VC, Sheith, and sometimes YOI!

Bsky - kacycarr on bsky - you will find mostly Sheithing here!

Ko-Fi - feel free to buy me a coffee if you like my fics! I have some fics available for purchase in digital download and paperback! I will also invite you to check out projects I created & co-mod called @vamptember (vampire prompts during the month of September!) and @priapus-at-the-gate (the VC Kink Meme!) VC STUFF!

I mostly use this space to talk about VC since the fandom is either dead or toxic as fuck on other platforms. I've been into VC since like THE YEAR 2000 LOL. I had fics that got taken down in the FFnet purge! Ancient! Marius is my favorite character and I'm more partial to Marius subplots/timelines. I'm also really into the Devil's Minion and Trinity Gate! I'm super into whatever the fuck was going on with Marius & Daniel! I could talk about Armand all fucking day! Pandora is my hero! Please expect posts about these things! I didn't love the AMC adaptation so I don't talk about it very often, because I try to focus on stuff I enjoy. ♡ TAGS

#stuff i wrote - IT'S FOR STUFF I WROTE. contains fics and discussion of fics. if they're very short they might only be on Tumblr and not on AO3.

#deep ass thoughts about vampires - my meta tag, sorry I came up with the name while I was stoned back in 2016 and I'm too lazy to change it :)

#trauma hole theory - if you want even DEEPER ass thoughts about vampires, this is where I park thoughts related to "do vampires have neuroplasticity?" and "would therapy even work on them?" #asexual vc - I don't really shut the fuck up about vampires being asexual so if you wanna hear about it CLICK HERE

#simple italian perv - MISC SMUTTY THOUGHTS to keep the rent low lol if you're new here I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me

#the skateboard of shakespeare - I visited Tulane last year and documented a ton of info from the Anne Rice collection! I use this tag when I share! #vampire chronicles- for book stuff!

#vampire pajama party on amc - this is my tag for the AMC show; I'm not a big fan of it so please feel free to mute if you don't want to see salt posts. (I have a second, even saltier tag called #the rolin jonestown massacre if you want to mute that one as well!)

#devils minion girlies - STILL WORKING HARD TO POPULATE THIS TAG but if you like thinking about Armand & Daniel as lesbians please see this tag. #unethical marius - I've been really obsessed lately with thinking about an AU where Marius is an unethical therapist LOLLL please feel free to peruse or mute as needed. #vampire music - I have like a ND relationship to music and I love sharing it even if no one else cares and taste is subjective but if you ever want vampirey music recs they will be here :D #fandom lolitics - I try not to share too much discourse & drama but it's here if you want to mute it! #vcficfriday - when I have time & remember to I like to share fics I've read on Fridays!!!! Please feel free to use this tag in your own blog as well, to build up fic writers!

I THINK THAT COVERS IT, FELLAS, please be kind to each other and don't be shy to send me asks if you have any questions!

[andthisisdia]

🫧Hi🫧

Name: call me Dia💎

Age: I was born in 2002 and I'm too lazy to update my age every year💅

Nationality: Italian (English is not my first language so I might make some grammatical errors)

🏳️‍🌈: I'm a bisexual and demisexual/demiromantic girl (I use she/her pronouns)

MBTI: ENTJ (Don't stereotype me. I'm just really into doing things right and I like to have a plan for everything. I always try to find a solution to people's problems)

Something about me: I'm autistic and borderline 🪐 and I'm very extroverted, I like to socialize and meet new people. So if we have any interests in common, feel free to write to me🌌 (Read the continuation to find out more about me and what I post, it's important. Thank you)

(I made this edit using picsart stickers that represent my interests and something about me)

🎮Favorite video games:

•League of Legends (I play on the European server)

•Wildrift

•Valorant (I don't play it that much because I'm not very good)

•Overwatch

•Team Fortress 2 (my hyper fixation, I need to talk to other tf2 fans. I'm going crazy, I don't know who to talk to about it, I'm afraid of appearing boring to my friends who aren't fans😭😭😭)

•Life is strange (this game made me realize I'm not straight)

•Detroit Become Human

•Danganronpa (I discovered this thanks to tik tok during the pandemic. It was very trendy at the time)

•The last of us

•The Sims 3/4 (I never had the chance to play the previous ones)

🍿My favorite TV series are:

•Shameless

•Love, Death & Robots

•Bojack Horseman

•Arcane

•She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

•Ever After High

🎼Singers I like:

•Madison Beer

•Mitski

•Ariana Grande

•Ashnikko

•Kali Uchis

•Girl in Red

•Marina and the diamonds

•KDA ("Akali that girl, 'kali go grr 'Kali don't stop, 'kali don't skrt 'Kali got a job, 'kali go to work 뜨거워 언제나 don't get burnt" 🗣🗣🗣)

•Gorillaz

•Queen

•Molchat Doma

•Arctic Monkeys

•Mother Mother

•Jack Stauber

•Cavetown

•TV girl

•Bo Burnham

I actually listen to a lot of artists but I don't remember them all c:

🫧Things I like:

•Lost media

•Liminal space

•Dreamcore

•Nostalgiacore

•History of cinema (especially animated films)

•Psychology (and all other branches of this science. I also love anthropology and sociology)

•Travel and discover new places

•Everything that has to do with creativity (Drawing, writing stories and fanfiction, creating things like accessories for your clothes and such very cute things. I really admire people who can repaint dolls)

•Having fun (going out with my friends, watching films - if they're trashy films it's even better -, sending each other memes and tik tok videos and things like that)

🪷Hobby:

•Cosplay (Especially cosplaying my comfort characters)

•Drawing (I haven't drawn seriously since 2020. I'm waiting for inspiration)

•Collecting dolls (I love Monster High, Ever After High, Rainbow High and L.O.L O.M.G. I also collect Funko pops and figures from other brands. I also have many books and comics -which I have to finish reading because there are too many-)🧸

•Roleplay (Doing roleplay with me means that I have already organized the whole plot. But I also listen to the other person's ideas)

•Find out about the topics that interest me (Most of the time they have to do with culture. I'm a very curious person and I love to inform myself)

💿What I post on Tumblr:

•Things about my fandom

•Positivity (Especially mental health or pride posts about being a member of the LGBT community. Be yourself🌈Be unique)

•Aesthetics

•Vent

•My posts are tagged "Dia's post"

🦦Other random things:

•My favorite musicals are Heathers and Ride The Cyclone (the name of my blog is a mix between two of these songs)

•I'm terrible with numbers and sometimes I read the wrong words (I have a learning disability -be patient-)

•In my blog there are posts about Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss BUT IT'S NOT A SPECIAL INTEREST OF MINE. I recognize that they are two series with a lot of plot holes and nonsense. But it still reminds me of time spent with my friends. I actually like hearing people analyze and criticize it. I'm fond of the character of Vaggie and I like the ship between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb but as I wrote before: it's no longer a special interest of mine. I am neutral towards them

•I'm an atheist

•I am very interested in the meaning (and world) of dreams

‼️ Sometimes I also reposted something related to when I feel down. Unfortunately I have a lot of trauma but I'm trying to move forward and get better‼️

🔞I'm a girl from 2002 so I have young adult maturity‼️I want to talk to people my own age. You can follow me if you like my "aesthetic fandom stuff" but i would like to talk to people my age🔞

🧜‍♀️Comfort characters:

•Jinx (League of legends/Arcane. She is my main and for certain things I see myself in her)

•Seraphine (League of Legends. didn't like her at first but I love her gameplay. And I think she has the best skins -along with Jinx, of course-)

•Evelynn (League of Legends. She's a Goddess)

•Chloe Price (Life is strange. She made me understand that I like women too. I love this punk)

•Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls. She is one of the few ENTJs to be a positive character. I really like how her character has evolved)

•Reagan Ridley (Inside Job. We are very similar in certain things)

•Entrapta (She ra. I love this chaotic neutral autistic scientist princess. Again, I see myself in her)

•Kotori Minami (Love Live! When I was in middle school this was my favorite anime)

•Dia Kurosawa (Love Live! Sunshine. Love Live is an anime that accompanied me as I grew up. I'm very fond of it)

❕️I'm looking for young adult people like me (young adult means being over 18 and under 30). I have no problem with NSFW (I prefer artistic nudity) and I have no problem with swearing. I have a certain maturity so I want to interact with people like that.❕️

‼️ This is my safe space🗣 SO DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE: racist, homophobic, ableist, transphobic and against the LGBT community, do not interact if you are a pedophile and if you harm animals.Don't fetishize queer people. We are people, not nsfw categories. And don't romanticize the Mafia. Be kind and open-minded. Don't interact if you are against feminism (which I remind you, means gender equality), don't interact if you are people with ideas of hatred and discrimination. No ignorant people about mental health or what is happening in the world, because we are in 2024 and we need to have a minimum of culture. If you think abortion is murder, I would say you can also go elsewhere because I support women's rights and human rights in general. In general, don't interact if you are a person with bad ideas (that kind of bad ideas. Go away)‼️

🌟Talk to me if you are a normal person (and if you're nice and send funny memes. Or if you want to talk about some fandom in common or something. We can also play some video games together or talk about philosophical things like "what's the point of life?" or things like "do aliens exist?")🌟

[darkdemeter]

Dem Hi! I'm back with a bit of an unhinged ask here:

Im sure this doodle gives you an idea where this is going. I was just making myself some tea, and I was thinking about Lovers In Eden (i was going to listen to a song called Eastward of Eden by Amelia Day,hence the association). And Since I am a film student, a writer and i took script classes as my subject las trimester, i offer you this unhinged recap of my conspiracy theory. So LIE (Lover in Eden) introduces us to the idea that Strife killed Y/N after a bloodlust outburst,right? Well, at first i didnt think too much of it, but then the chapter ends with the four on earth, which felt a little disembodied from the prologue. Which brings me to the hipothesis which is: Strife's lover is on earth,reborn without their memories. My proof for this theory is this: 1) We know that in the darksiders universe there is such thing as a well of souls, we know they go through the kingdom of the dead to repent and then be reborn through the well. 2) you wouldntve put the line "Love slayer" if it wasnt relevant to the plot. (Writing often times includes phrasing things a certain way to hint at other things). 3) Why would you close the chapter where you did? What relevance does the fact that the four are now on earth have? Simple, Strife will find a reborn,survivor Y/N and will fall in love with them (and have a crisis once he realizes its a whole like soulmates finding eachother again situation) 4) and last (which came to me as i wrote this) if you were to center the story only on Strife and the reader without the reader being reborn, you wouldve just started it from the medieval age/wherever strife met the reader and not end with the four on earth. Of course dont gotta tell me if im right,dont want to spoil the whole fic anyways. But I felt the need to share this with you. (I genuienly felt like the pepe silvia meme). And yeah, one offshoot of all this is that maybe the reader isnt a reborn soulmate, and that the prologue could just set up this inherit guilt and fear towards love that Strife has. Until we get the next chapter, i lay in wait...scheming/lhj/hj Have a nice rest of your day and i hope you've enjoyed my unhinged ramble. -Jer. PD: i feel so silly for sending this whole thing but as a fellow writer i know theres nothing we love more than ppl theorizing about our stuff. So here you go. I hope it doest read as overbearing,i just genuienly love your stuff.

First off, I love your pepe doodle! It’s so perfect. In fact I find it so funny that I made this a little bit ago myself... (As much as I'd love to rant and such about my AUs' lore and headcanons, I made this for shits and gigs)

I absolutely adore hearing theories readers have about my fics. (Sorry this has taken FOR-EV-ER to respond to, I'm terrible with replying at times)

I also fucking LOVE that you're a film student, I think that makes this whole theory situation even better because I do tend to have a very movie-esque thought process when writing. (Blooper reel and BTS footage rent free in my head)

And I think I've got the mind stewing a bit with that recent post, Flowers From My Lover. Without hopefully giving away anything, you do have some valid and interesting points in your theories and has me going, "Oh Jer is good little detective." You get a cookie for your theory skills!

There are indeed certain key details and clues I put in on purpose and it's so interesting to see what readers pick up on. And yes, the well of souls is involved to some extent in this plotline, but not in the way you might think...

I also find your choice of the word "reborn" interesting. Very obviously and right out the gates, I will say that yes, reader is alive in this story. But it's the manner in which reader's alive and again, the reborn theory is interesting and again, possibly not in a way you're expecting. Though it seems rather simple, I will tease that there is... quite a bit more to it than what's at face value.

And I wanna tease this little clue too because it is one of my favourites: It's interesting how the fic's title has a double meaning in plain sight...

[hearteyespierce]

Doing some kiss meme prompts! Got a couple requests on discord but feel free to send more! Will work through them as I have time the next few days!

houlifield + a kiss while laughing for @almostpleasantrebel — I’ve never really written Margaret or Helen before so I hope I have done so to your standards, Moll!! 😘 thanks for the prompt!!

Margaret can’t remember the last time she had this much fun. Probably the last time she’d seen Helen when they graduated from nursing school, if she was being honest. But now — here — almost a decade later, and amidst all the army’s foul ups, they’d managed to do one good thing for Major Margaret Houlihan, and Helen had been dispatched to the 4077th without Margaret even knowing she’d come to Korea in the first place. It was a short term assignment, sure, but God, if it wasn’t the happiest Margaret had been since the night she first met that rat Donald.

Helen had started the night laughing across the table from her at the Officer’s Club, swapping stories and positively *howling* at Margaret’s stories of her time here at the 4077th. And now, here at Rosie’s, they’d gotten closer and closer. Margaret hadn’t realized the way they’d been slowly inching around the table between drinks and dances and stories, but all of a sudden, Helen was pressed up against her, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, as if their chairs had gravitated around the table of their own volition. She felt warm at every point of contact, even with their fatigues as a barrier, and when Helen threw her head back to laugh at her own joke, Margaret was suddenly aware of the fact that she hadn’t heard a single word Helen had said. She tried to laugh herself, play along, but she had been so busy watching the way Helen’s bright red lips, smudging and fading at the center where she sipped on her glass, formed the words themselves.

Margaret couldn’t help but wonder if she still wore the Max Factor Ruby Red that had been Helen’s favorite shade all through school ever since they’d shoplifted a tube from the drugstore to share when they were nineteen years old. When it ran out, they never bought two tubes, just kept one going to share. When they went their separate ways after graduation, Margaret had told her to keep it.

“You alright, Margaret?”

“What?” she asked, coming out of her daze to find Helen had stopped laughing, but was looking at her with concern tinged with mild amusement. “Oh! Yes, yes, I’m fine, Helen, just a little lightheaded, I suppose! Do you remember the last time we had some water instead of this awful stuff?” She laughed, holding up her glass of terrible whiskey and trying to wave off Helen’s concern. She delighted in the trill it brought out of her friend.

“Oh!” Helen shrieked with another peal of laughter. “Must have been before graduation day at least!”

There was a slight twinge of worry in Margaret’s chest at the joke, Helen had always… Well, she’d promised Margaret she’d learned her limits and the last thing Margaret wanted to do was ruin their first night together in years nagging Helen like a mother hen — or worse, one of their teachers from nursing school. She grabbed Helen’s hand and pulled her to her feet, never mind that the sudden movement had them both wobbling from the drink.

“Alright!” she crowed, trying to hold them both up despite her own incredibly precarious balance. “Alright, I think it’s time to go to bed! You can sleep in my tent tonight, we’ll find a bed assignment for you in the morning!”

She shot a glare to Captain Pierce calling out from behind her that he’d be happy to assign his own cot in the Swamp to Helen. She wouldn’t even dignify that with a response and she was sure to tell him so, much to the amusement of Pierce and the other doctors with him and, much more importantly to Margaret, to Helen herself.

They barely made it out the doors of the bar before they were stumbling and Margaret had to catch herself on the corrugated tin walls of Rosie’s bar. Helen tumbled after her and as they both knocked into the aluminum siding, more shrieks of laughter came out of each of them. Margaret didn’t know what was wrong with her. Why couldn’t she stop laughing?

Her head lolled to the side, taking in Helen’s rosy face, half in shadow and half illuminated by the dim, flickering sodium lights coming out the windows. What she could see clearly was bright red, with tears of mirth welling up in Helen’s eyes and she could only imagine she looked the same. For once, she was too happy to give a rats ass what impression her behavior might leave with the nurses under her command inside and as the two of them slid down to the ground in a heap, she marveled at the way Helen’s bright smiling face was getting closer and closer.

The next thing she knew, Helen was catching her giggles with her lips and Margaret melted into the contact. She tangled her fingers in Helen’s long brown hair, no care at all to the curls she could imagine her friend setting carefully in rollers the night before. She wanted to feel the roots between her fingertips, wanted to see how it looked mussed from her grip when they pulled apart. But not yet. Helen’s lips were tacky with the remnants of her lipstick — ruby Red Max Factor, just like she’d thought — Margaret would remember that taste on Helen’s lips anywhere, even a decade later.

[hel-phoenyx]

Domhildr belongs to @soupedepates, Oli to @thal-ent, Meili to @azeler and Kaizarz to @corneille-but-not-the-author, all mentioned

Finally.

A click of the finger and the thesis is sent to my supervisor. It's not over, far from it, I'll have so many things to do when it gets back from correction, but right now

I am free.

It's such a weird, yet soothing feeling. Having nothing to do. Nothing to rush for.

I restrain myself from opening it again and add other things to send to my supervisor. He won't be happy about that, and I will get one, or several, earfuls about my perfectionnism.

I have nothing to do. It's weird. I don't know what to do. What do people do when they're free ?

Calling their friends ?

Domhildr is probably with her new sweetheart.

If not, Oli is with her.

Meili has his own friends. And since that drunken night, it's weird between us.

And Kaizarz... He doesn't need to put me back up again.

So. I guess I'm alone. Alone and not knowing how to fill my days up.

I take my phone and start scrolling, mindlessly. Instagram is full of coupley memes. Great. Pinterest has nothing interesting. I can't find a dopamine music. No interesting fanfics on Ao3, the only one that updated while I was working are full of smut and I don't need to be aroused right now.

Maybe i'll just go to the club and find some company. Or swipe a little bit on Tinder. Or, no, maybe not Tinder. Last time I went on it I saw Domi's profile and I couldn't bring myself to swipe, would it be left or right.

Yeah, maybe that's a good idea.

Right at the moment I was about to get up and change, however, I hear a ding coming from my phone. WhatsApp notification.

I look at the screen, already knowing who it is. Only one person sends me WhatsApp messages, since she moved abroad and took a foreign phone number. It became so rare, yet, I could almost feel my heart beating faster.

Under the profile picture of a pretty white-haired woman lies a single message.

Hey Tyr ! I moved here from Denmark, for a while. I don't know how your thesis is going but maybe we could see each other ?

She's back. It's been so long since she moved back to the land of our ancestors, or so it seems. The scandinav diaspora is tight-knit in that city, too, yet sometimes people come and go in your life, back to the country that feels like home.

Brynja left right after I got hurt. The only conversations we had after that were through text. For years, we had that kind of on-and-off relationship where none of us knew what we were. and the messages got rarer, and rarer, with the thesis and her work.

I didn't expect her to come back like this.

Without thinking, my fingers run on the screen, typing words I don't even restrain.

Sure. Where do you want to meet up ?

I don't have to wait long.

How about your place ?

Fine by me. You can come in whenever you like, I'll forward you the adress.

I don't remember the last time I heard my heart beat that fast.

I don't wait for the answer. Hurriedly, I get up, tidy up everything I can, open the windows, change from my old fit from something a bit more adapted to seeing, well. An old situationship of sorts, I suppose. I don't have better words.

None of us know what we are.

Right on time I get dressed, I hear a knock. It's been only an hour, she didn't want to wait until dinner, I see. I can understand that.

I open the door, short-breathed and eyes wide. There she is, standing on the porch. In a very long fuschia dress shining under the porch lights, her hair, longer since the last time I saw her, tied up in a complex hairdo. Her cheeks are rosy, her smile, hesitant.

The silence is broken by her voice, still as I remember it.

"... Hey. Tyr."

I don't answer.

I simply pull her close.

I missed her so much.

It feels so different to have her in front of me.

Finally.

***

I don't know how we ended up here. We drank, we talked, we discusses the world. I ordered takeout so we didn't have to leave the house. and maybe I got out every nice bottle in my alcohol stash.

It may be why I'm laying on my bed, with her hands on me and mine gripping the sheets.

I didn't bother pulling out my prosthesis. I never do that. I guess I was too much in a hurry. I don't remember. My thoughts are too hazy.

She kisses me and sometimes other faces substitute to hers.

Her lips are on mine and I hear Domhildr's laugh in my mouth.

My hands brush her chest and it's Oli smiling under the touch.

My teeth close on her skin and I can taste burns on my tongue.

A finger traces the bumps of my spine and it's Kaizarz that is kissing every shiver.

Her sighs are still hers. Her eyes are still burning with her desire. This is she and I in that bed. I am not hazy to the point I forget I have my dearest in my arms.

I missed her. I want her. I l̸o̵v̵e̴ her.

Yet I crave more.

I crave so much more.