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luvsavos · 1 year ago

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Hey, it’s the Aiden anon again! I’m sorry bro, but I don’t have Discord, but I’m STILL SUPER interested on your thoughts on Aiden. PLEASE I’m begging you Mr. Martin, I need a MASSIVE text post from you about him. And honestly it’s for my friend too. Aiden is her babygirl. She has been in love/loved him since 4U and we both are always so excited to see him.

oh hello again!! it's no worries that you don't have discord, i definitely do Not at ALL mind going on a ramble about my boy, though i absolutely apologize in advance for the length of this post LMAO

for the most part until after the events of iceborne, my interpretation of him is fairly close to canon, though there is Some differences or original things here and there so disclaimer in advance since i'm maintagging this for canon divergence, this is my own little au that i am completely normal and not at all insane about; all of the stuff post-fatalis is based on rps with a friend so there's a Lot

if you/whoever's reading this just want my general Thoughts on aiden as a character and not my whole batshit insane au lore stuff, that'll be at the bottom of the post! (sorry)

when he was a kid, he was pretty carefree as you'd expect, he loved to help out around the village when he wasn't off playing with the other kids or his little sister (i don't think we ever got anything about his bio family in canon so this was entirely just me making things up LMAO). when the elder dragon activity caused the monster stampede that destroyed his village when he was only 7, he tried desperately to save people (specifically his sister) but, of course, failed, and i BELIEVE i'd headcanoned that he watched At Least One of his family members actively get gored/trampled by some monsters?

obviously the entire experience left him with a fear of monsterkind, and even into adulthood it still weighs heavily on him and likely occasionally causes nightmares and the likes. running blindly from the stampede with absolutely no sense of direction nor semblance of anything to help him survive in the wilderness, it's a miracle that he came across timben when he did, and naturally the people there took him in. though still weighed down by his trauma, aiden did his best to be as helpful around the village as possible, and he quickly became popular among the villagers for his willingness and readiness to help out wherever he could, and for his cheerful, outgoing personality. eventually, he decided he was tired of being frightened of monsters, so he took to studying them and making puns of their names as a way to cope and make himself less afraid of them. all this is pretty much just canon so far, from the legends of the guild movie (save for the parts about his old village, other than the stampede thing; i think that's the only real details we get about his home village?)

and then, of course, when he was fifteen (this isn't his canon age, i don't entirely know how old he's supposed to be in lotg? i THINK 17-18 but cmon he gives me the vibes of Unmedicated Adhd Teenager. fun fact julius is only 4 years older than aiden so that makes him 19 in this so that doesn't make a ton of sense but its fine i can ignore that, bro's already stressed himself to the point of white hair LMAO i think i'd make him a bit older than that though, maybe in his mid-late twenties?) came the elder crossing, and with it came julius, to warn timben of an oncoming lunastra that was headed in their direction. honestly idk why i'm recapping this canon stuff but listen i love talking about aiden okay ahdnsbfjgn

since the villagers refused to budge, aiden accompanied julius to go see the elder dragon for himself so that he can tell the villagers so they'll evacuate, and of course imprinted onto julius like an orphaned (ha bad joke) duckling along the way

don't need to recap all of lotg since it all plays out the same way; he admired everyone that helped try to fight off the lunastra, but he particularly looked up to mae like an older sister (this would later lead him to naming a kinsect paisley in honour of her's), and he still in present-day keeps her journal. the entire experience was... rough on him. he didn't feel any sense of victory, just a sort of hollowness and guilt---he blamed himself for mae and ravi's deaths, considering it was his impulsive suggestion to fight the lunastra rather than run that got them killed. it also left him with a permanent terror of lunastra specifically (this will come into relevance somewhat a bit later), and it solidified his resolve to become a proper hunter, so that he could learn how to properly fight monsters and protect people like he wanted to, and ensure nothing like that would happen again.

now here's where we start to get a Liddol Bit of canon divergence; anyone who's talked to me about my au knows that i REALLY like the idea of the guild being not as clean and morally sound as they like to seem---i really like exploring the concept of corruption within it, and the shady practices they keep under wraps. after all, power tends to breed corruption, and even if it's run by wyverians and Is primarily dedicated to genuinely trying to preserve the balance, the guild IS an incredibly powerful and influential organization (if not the single most powerful/influential one in the mh universe), and that's likely going to inevitably attract people who don't exactly have the best intentions in mind.

so! the guild. guild knights. we know that the knights are sent out to deal with poachers and the likes via apprehending them and/or killing them. that already means that, more than likely, our sweet boy aiden has human blood on his hands. so why not delve into that? aiden tended to prefer to stick to just helping protect and maintain the safety of places rather than do the whole Killing People thing, as i don't doubt that the concept of taking another human/wyverian/etc life upsets him. HOWEVER. early on into his days as a knight, he was sent out with a group of unfamiliar knights to deal with a velocidrome that was "causing problems" in a small village. the problems? it had been injured, and an old woman that lived some distance away from the village had taken it back to her house and nursed it back to health, and it chose to simply Stay, and that made the villagers uneasy. honestly, it wasn't really causing any genuine issues---it was just existing and choosing to stay with the person that had saved its life. the orders were clear cut: deal with "the problem" by any means necessary. aiden was gentler than the others (who were far more shady and... much less well-intentioned than him), but the woman was resolute in that she wouldn't let them kill the drome. so, as a "rite of passage," so to speak, the other guild knights forced aiden to kill not only the velocidrome, but the old woman as well. Guild Trauma, Babey!

the experience left a lasting mark on him, and he never told julius or the other ace hunters what exactly happened, but they could all tell that Something had based on how quiet and somber he was for several days after the incident. that was the first human life he took, and while he's undoubtedly had to kill poachers and other people who genuinely Were in the wrong, knowing that he has innocent blood on his hands has remained with him even long after he left the guild to join with the research commission. i'm nice to my faves i swear (<- lying)

so! fast forward to the commission, since there's not much else of importance for his guild days (yet, once i play 4u/gu this might change). this is where things really start to get divergent as they involve my ocs so buckle up lads we're going on An Adventure™️

like i said, really things are Mostly the same until post-iceborne; rather than a proper hunter, my player character oc is a "rider" that was raised by an anjanath so rather than kill all the monsters (though he doesn't have much issue with doing so) in the story some were simply communicated with and/or relocated if necessary, ie the agitated pukei, vaal hazak ("without a vaal hazak the entire rotten vale ecosystem would collapse!" [kills vaal hazak anyways] thank you monster hunter very cool!)

aiden takes a liking to the field team leader (achilles, as my friend i rp with named him<3) and they grow closer throughout base world, enough so that aiden ends up his second-in-command in seliana (this appears to be canon? idk he can be seen giving out more direct orders during the defense of seliana quest while ftl gives out generalized ones and theyre Always Seen Together except for in One (1) cutscene, post-velkhana death (i'm normal about them i promise) and theyre both at the council table right next to each other.....), things are Nice, everything's Great

and then Fatalis Happens. canonly, as i recall, aiden Nearly Died because of fatalis. like. lea/serious handler talks about how if he'd died she doesn't know how she would've kept going, aiden talks about how thinking about julius and ftl gave him the strength and willpower to keep fighting (totally normal bro things to say just guys being dudes am i right) and Not Die, it's a whole Thing. so my interpretation of aiden has a TON of absolutely AWFUL burn scars across the right side of his body from that. they're obviously nowhere near as bad as they COULD be, since i'm assuming he had some fire res on his build (that feels weird to say when not talking about gameplay), but they're still Bad because. well. fatalis LMAO

fast forward an indeterminate amount of time (i don't think my friend and i ever decided on how far after fatalis our stuff is💀) and everything's Great. here's where the balls to the wall canon divergence starts btw! shang, my "rider" oc, has helped people learn that some monsters can be reasoned with, and the monsters he's befriended are allowed about the base and the reach as they please (even if some AHEM VUGEL (my bastard of an ebony odogaron) COUGH are an absolute hindrance on purpose). aiden and ftl have gotten together by this point. shang's taken in a lot of orphaned monsters, one of which is a little lunastra that he's named chang'e, that seems to sense aiden's unease and tries to capitalize on it, but shang (halfheartedly) tries to hold the young elder dragon back from doing so.

one particularly notable monster around base is a gold-crown sized namielle, "nami," who's pretty much adopted shang. she's warm, motherly, and after the initial unease of having An Entire Elder Dragon around wore off she quickly became a familiar and welcomed face. another is the mountain god, shara ishvalda themself, having chosen to try to aid the commission as a way to "apologize" for the damage and chaos their presence in the everstream caused. nami's presence attracts a tall, foreboding man, with white hair and a beard, scars across his face, a permanent resting glare, and piercing golden eyes---he speaks very little, and when he does it's in a low mutter, and he seems to be observing the people of seliana. his presence is dread-inducing and sparks much unease, but nami is ecstatic to see him, stating he is an old friend who she hasn't seen in ages. for some time, things continue normally---until an argument between shara and nami breaks out, and the imposing stranger reveals his true nature as a dire miralis-sized white fatalis; the destroyer moon, alaakiilah, he who wiped out the ancients in a single night, in order to get the pair to cease their bickering.

aiden ends up being absolutely fascinated by al---sure, he's scared shitless of fatalis, but all the same... a fatalis, there, IN seliana, the fatalis of legend, and he's... not attacking them. granted, it's because he knows nami is fond of the mortals there, and he begrudgingly promised her that he wouldn't do anything to them, but still. the moon god is begrudgingly tolerant of aiden, and eventually achilles as well, as the pair typically don't stray far from one another (unless they Do, but that's not relevant right now), and eventually, through sheer persistence in his fascination, aiden (and achilles) are allowed the one single highest honour one can have: the permission to touch alaakiilah's beard. much as he might disdain to admit it, al ends up being genuinely, albeit begrudgingly, fond of aiden, and aiden's all but dadopted him (he's collecting white haired father figures, isn't he?). this comes into more relevance later.

after some time, al comes across an abandoned fatalis egg (i have my own whole Thing on fatalis eggs and reproduction in general but that's its own post LOL), which he brought back to the supply cache (after achilles offered to let him nest there with the egg) to incubate, and after a day, it hatches, into a tiny, defenseless, harmless baby female fatalis, which namielle names yunhind---that translating to "new hope," in honour of how no fatalis in recorded history has ever been raised in proximity to mortals before, and the destroyer moon's decision to trust in the commission to not fuck things up. the little one immediately takes a liking to aiden, and though he's more than a little nervous at first at the prospect of babysitting the destroyer of humanity's adopted child, he quickly becomes more confident in it as she grows and he becomes more attached to her---it makes him think back to his younger sister, and his inability to protect her, and he's determined to make sure absolutely nothing happens to yunhind.

there's a whole Thing that happens with the guild, having learned of the abundance of monsters around seliana, threatening achilles to try and pressure him into killing and/or relocating them all to "protect the people," then taking matters into their own hands when he refuses---this entire debacle (affectionately dubbed The Guild Arc, Part One) leaves aiden shaken up as it confirms a lot of his fears and doubts that have been building under the surface for years on end now.

fatalis mature quickly, even when naturally hatched, and within a few months, yunhind is a fully grown and wholly unique fatalis, dubbed an "ashen fatalis" due to adapting to her surroundings and taking on the properties of ice element as well as fire (they're interchangeable, though her ability to use both at once is somewhat limited), and the unique ability to transfer energy to heal others, and her scales being an ashy grey colour. she spends most of her time in her human form, and she views aiden like an older brother. things settle back down around base, and everything is okay again.

until it's not, of course<3

achilles goes missing, which stresses aiden out, naturally--and then vodrem happens, because nothing good lasts forever. well, vodrem happens Again, but i hadn't started rping aiden by the first time, so uhhh. idk he was on a vacation in the old world i guess?? that was an entire Year before the second Vodrem Event

now, dear reader, you're probably wondering, "martin who the fuck is vodrem", which is a VERY good question! vodrem is my nonfandom/multiverse god of chaos oc, who's part of his own little original oc bubble, though they're all based on monhun monsters; vodrem in particular is based on nergigante and morodumunto, though he usually takes the form of a not-quite-right nergigante

he makes a habit of consuming entire universes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and psychologically tormenting people just for the hell of its. he's power hungry, immensely dangerous, and cunning.

in his wake, he leaves "instabilities"; where the very fabric of reality itself gets fucked up, and these can have a variety of effects on anything that enter the area, but the most common has been people getting turned into monsters. the five were INCREDIBLY meticulous about mending any left behind after the first vodrem event, and they made absolutely certain to mend them all.

but a new one appeared. one which aiden wandered into---the change wasn't instantaneous, it started with just feeling sick and feverish, with heat specifically concentrated in his chest, to the point that it would get unbearable and he'd have to lay in the snow just for some relief, and finding his temper to be increasingly short and explosive. then came the headaches and soreness of the throat, and tiny black scales forming across his skin. then the desire to find some small space outdoors, perhaps a cave or the likes, though he ended up seeking comfort (ironically) in the destroyer moon's presence. i'm sure you can see where this is going, yes?

of all the monsters in the world, it had to be a fatalis. because of course it would be. as you'd expect, this caused him an IMMENSE amount of distress on top of the distress he already had from achilles' absence. for some time, there were no other signs of vodrem, and yunhind and al (mostly yunhind) helped aiden learn How To Fatalis.

and then all hell broke lose, as it does with vodrem. he claimed to have killed achilles, and though aiden had been trying his absolute damndest to suppress the fatalis rage and instincts, he let them overtake him---he went after vodrem, intending to unleash an ocean of flame upon him... didn't SUCCEED, all he got was speared through the lung and his back torn into by vodrem, the wounds afflicted with what was dubbed as "tarblight"; a corrosive, highly painful substance that vodrem secrets that seems to only be able to be cured by vodrem himself or his much more well-intentioned brother, vodinok. for the rest of the fight, aiden was simply unconscious, so he doesn't have much relevance for the rest of it. as i recall, one of the five managed to transform him back into a human, and vodinok cured the tarblight while yunhind healed his wounds.

unfortunately for my poor darling aiden, the form of the fatalis is not one so easily controlled, and so despite the five's best efforts, that part of him never really left---strong negative emotions still cause spontaneous transformations, and he's typically very skittish and nervous in this form because of how hard it is to suppress the fatalis instincts. the transformations take a LOT of energy out of him too, and while he CAN force a transformation back, that takes even more energy, so he's usually just kinda Stuck like that for a few days, which he usually spends hunkered in the supply cache, because for as good as he's gotten at maintaining his usual demeanor, the innate rage and violent instincts are always just a breath away from the surface, bubbling and boiling, like a pot of water just seconds away from boiling over. Not at All a fun experience for him!

after this the Guild Arc Part 2 happens, with aiden traveling to the old world with al to retrieve achilles from the corrupt and shady part of the guild who'd come to seliana in the first place; that's a whole Thing in of itself as well, and aiden ends up having to take a few more lives, though the guilt and emotions of, well. Everything, really, don't set in until after its all said and done, considering this entire thing takes place only maybe a few days after the vodrem event, if i recall correctly, so aiden's still more than a little out of it, and the dissonance of everything that happened there only made him even More out of it.

aaaaand i Think that's It? i don't believe i've had him be involved in any major plot stuff since then (aside from the temporary vampire event that was for halloween), so he's finally gotten to have the break that he oh so DESPERATELY needs and deserves... for now! i would like to involve him with more things again in the future (i never did get to write out a storyline where he briefly looses himself to the fatalis instincts---even just using the elemental abilities tend to have that effect on him, so using too MUCH would be Bad---and has to be brought back down from them...), so who knows! maybe he'll end up Going Through It a little bit more, as a Treat<3 the amount of suffering i put my faves through is proportional to how much i like them☺

now then! for my thoughts on aiden as a character; i love him. he's a sweet, caring and well-intentioned person, and i see a lot of myself in him (namely with the Incredibly Obvious adhd). it makes me happy to see a character like him (again, adhd) not treated like the butt of a joke, and instead be shown to actually be incredibly competent and important to the commission. i really hope we see him again in another game in the future, even if it's just as a cameo (he and the field team leader WERE planning to take that vacation to the old world so aiden could introduce ftl to julius........) and nothing else. of all the wonderful characters mh has to offer, i think aiden is by far my favourite i am so incredibly normal about him (this is by far the longest ramble post i have ever made LMAO) and he is just. absolutely Wonderful. my darling beloved my son my everything etc etc. i hope that if he does come back in a future game, if he's Not Just a cameo, we get to do another hunt properly with him; fatalis was obviously the testing grounds for the npc followers in sunbreak, so i'd love to get to do a proper hunt with him now that that's A Thing, if they choose to keep it going forward (and i don't see why they wouldn't, given the positive reception it got). i think that the duality of him being so bubbly, positive and outgoing even despite everything he's been through is interesting, and i find the concept of exploring that trauma to be fascinating because, let's be real, poor guy has definitely been through some shit. NORMALLY if my faves don't have a backstory i come up with one for them but i didn't even Have To give him a traumatic backstory capcom did that for me LMFAO

anyways. thank u for the ask nonnie i am SO incredibly sorry for the length of this post the tism took the wheel, i know i went on a few tangents that weren't that related but ahdkdhfjd i just have A Lot of lore for my au and aiden's been involved in a fair bit of it

#mar.txt #answered #aiden anon #<- you get a tag now<3 #monster hunter #excitable a-lister #monster hunter aiden #aiden monster hunter #ace cadet #not mentioned in this: he's basically the core of what i like to call the Black Dragon Found Family #he attracts fatalis 'like revoltures to a corpse' as ive had him describe it at one point #al，yunhind，my miralis，the crimson fatalis al raised that's just ??? Somewhere in the inactive lava caverns beneath the reach，#my friend's disufiroa.... aiden doesn't like people joking about him being Technically An Elder Dragon Now because he doesn't want to be #associated with being a fatalis since. well. Yknow. but I Mean..... getting technical....................#if theres any spelling mistakes and/or typos in this pls don't perceive them im not going back and checking everything for them LMAO #i tried my best to not typo all over the place and fix them when i made them #like with the last one if you or anyone else wants to dm me here on tumblr to talk about anything in this post feel free!!#(just uh i'd prefer nobody maul me for the canon divergence pls ahaha)#long post #very long post

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writetheidea · 8 days ago

Text

Too Much to Be Enough - part 2

Hi, I wrote the second part of this fanfiction while juggling my thesis, so I apologize if there are any mistakes. Please feel free to point them out in my DMs or asks—I'd really appreciate it. I couldn't bring myself to just write pure fluff without adding a bit of angst. As I mentioned in the story, rebuilding trust isn't a straightforward process. I hope you enjoy it!

Part 1

Pairing: Franco Colapinto x female character

Plot: after deeply hurting his girlfriend, Franco learns how hard it is to rebuild their relationship, learning that trust, once broken, is a delicate and painstaking process to restore.

Tag: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff.

Word count: 3178

Disclaimers: english is not my first language - I feel like you could tell from my writing style - so I apologize if some of the sentences structures are off, or if I use outdated or inappropriate-for-the-context words, I used a synonym dictionary to try and stop myself from repeating the same words, I still did do that though.

Franco had always been a man of control. On the racetrack, precision wasn’t just a skill; it was survival. Every turn, every decision, required complete mastery over chaos. Off the track, he wasn’t much different, carrying that same calculated demeanor into his personal life. The way he managed his career, his relationships, even the smallest aspects of his daily routine, all reflected his need to remain unshakable. Control was his armor, his identity. But this—watching the woman he loved drift further away because of his carelessness—was a storm he couldn’t navigate.

He had made a mistake. A single moment of thoughtlessness, a few careless words, the laughter that followed, had been enough to tear open the foundation of trust they had spent years building. The memory replayed endlessly in his mind, gnawing at him like a relentless tide. He could see it all too clearly: the way her face fell, how her voice quivered when she confronted him. She hadn’t screamed or shouted; she hadn’t even cried at first. She had just gone quiet, her silence heavier than any words could have been. It spoke of wounds too deep for words, a disappointment that no apology could touch.

At first, he had thought the tension might dissipate after a day or two. He had underestimated the depth of the wound he had inflicted. What followed was a purgatory of silence. She didn’t leave outright, but her presence was a ghost of what it had been. She avoided his touch, his gaze, even his attempts at conversation. The vibrant, warm woman he loved so fiercely had become a shadow, navigating their shared spaces like a stranger. Franco’s every attempt to bridge the gap between them fell flat—flowers went untouched, her favorite pastries remained uneaten, and the small notes he left for her disappeared without acknowledgment. It was as though she was erasing him piece by piece, and he could do nothing to stop it.

The silence was unbearable. He missed her laughter, the way she would light up when she spoke about her favorite books or dreams for the future. He missed the way she would reach for him instinctively, as though he was her safe harbor. Now, he felt like a trespasser in his own life, each moment with her a painful reminder of what he had broken.

On the third night after the fight, Franco found himself sitting on their couch, his hands clasped tightly together. The room felt impossibly large, every corner of it carrying memories of better times. He could picture her curled up on the other side of the couch, her laughter filling the space as she recounted some silly anecdote or read him a passage from one of her favorite books. Now, the silence was deafening. He had spent hours going over what he might say to her, how he might begin to repair what he had broken, but words failed him.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Please,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “I can’t stand this. Tell me what to do—tell me how to make this right.”

She didn’t even look at him, her gaze fixed somewhere distant. “What’s the point?” she said quietly. “You’ve already shown me what you think of me. You agreed with them, Franco. You laughed at me like I was a joke.”

Her voice broke on the last word, and Franco felt the full weight of her hurt settle over him. “That’s not true,” he said desperately. “I wasn’t thinking—”

“No,” she interrupted, finally turning to face him, her eyes flashing with rare anger. “You weren’t thinking. But that doesn’t change what you said. Or what you did.” Her voice cracked, and for the first time, Franco could see just how deeply he had hurt her. “Do you even understand how small that made me feel? Like I was some kind of joke? Like I’ll never be enough for you?”

She paused, her face now showing the pain she had been harboring beneath the surface “What else do you want me to say, Franco? That I’m hurt? That I feel like I’ll never be enough for you now? You already know that”

Her words cut deeper than any insult, the quiet resignation in her voice tearing him apart. “You are enough,” he said fervently, reaching for her hand. “You’ve always been enough. I was stupid, careless—I didn’t mean what I said.”

“But you did,” she replied, pulling her hand away. “Maybe you didn’t mean for me to hear it, but you meant it. And I can’t unhear it, Franco. I can’t forget the way you agreed with them, the way you laughed about me like I was some… inconvenience.”

Her voice broke on the last word, and Franco felt his chest tighten, guilt clawing at him like a relentless tide. “I love you,” he said desperately. “I love everything about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t lose you.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his face as if trying to find some trace of the man she had once trusted so completely. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt like this,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “And right now, being with you… it hurts.”

His throat tightened as he searched for words, but there was nothing he could say that would undo the damage. “You are everything to me,” he said finally, his voice raw. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it if I have to.”

-----

But words weren’t enough, and he knew it. That night, she moved to the guest room, leaving their bed and a gaping void in his heart. He lay awake for hours, staring at the ceiling and replaying every moment he had failed her, every time he had taken her love for granted. He thought of her kindness, her patience, the way she had always believed in him, even when he doubted himself. And now, when she needed him most, he had failed to be the man she deserved.

The next morning, he woke to find her gone. A note on the counter said she was staying with a friend for a few days. He stared at the words until they blurred, his chest aching with the realization that she needed space from him—that being near him caused her pain. He couldn’t blame her for that, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.

He threw himself into trying to make amends, even if she wasn’t there to see it. He cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, cooked her favorite meals, and set the table with candles and fresh flowers every day, hoping it might offer a small measure of comfort when she returned. The evening when she finally walked through the door, she paused, her eyes scanning the room before landing on him.

“What’s all this?” she asked, her voice wary.

“I thought we could have dinner together,” he said, his voice hesitant. “I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I thought… I just wanted to do something for you.”

She hesitated for a moment before sitting down at the table. They ate in near silence, the tension between them almost unbearable. He tried to ask about her day, her friend, anything to fill the void, but her answers were curt, her gaze fixed on her plate. By the time they finished, Franco felt more defeated than ever.

As she stood to leave, he reached for her hand, his grip gentle but firm. “Please. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said. “Just tell me how to make this better.”

She looked down at him, her eyes filled with exhaustion. “I don’t know if you can,” she said softly. “But if you want to try, then stop looking for shortcuts. This isn’t about flowers or dinners. It’s about showing me that I matter to you—not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard. It’s about showing me—every day—that you love me for who I am, not despite it.”

-----

From that moment on, Franco dedicated himself to proving his love, not through grand gestures but in the quiet, unremarkable moments of daily life. He began paying attention to the things she cared about—remembering the books she mentioned wanting to read, making sure her favorite tea was always stocked in the pantry, and taking over chores she usually handled so she wouldn’t have to. He didn’t push her to talk or try to force her forgiveness; instead, he gave her the space she needed, even when it hurt to keep his distance.

The process was slow and often discouraging. There were days when she barely acknowledged his efforts, her walls still firmly in place. But there were also small victories—like the time she laughed, a soft, unguarded sound that felt like sunlight breaking through the clouds. Or the day she found a note he had left in her book that simply said, “I see you. And I love you.” She didn’t say anything about it, but later that evening, she made them tea and sat beside him on the couch, the silence between them no longer quite so heavy.

-----

Franco thought he was making progress. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to let him in again. The walls she’d built around herself were still there, but they had started to crack. She smiled a little more often, lingered at the dinner table to talk about her day, and once, when they were watching an old movie on the couch, she leaned into him without pulling away. Each small step felt monumental, and Franco held onto the hope that one day, she might fully trust him again.

But trust, he learned, was fragile.

It happened at a party—a glamorous event hosted by one of Franco’s sponsors. He had been reluctant to go, worried about the strain it might put on their delicate truce, but she had insisted. “You shouldn’t have to give up your life because of me,” she said. He had taken her words as a sign that things were improving between them, a sign that she was ready to be part of his world again.

The evening started well enough. She looked stunning in a sleek, dark dress, her hair framing her face. Franco couldn’t take his eyes off her, and for a moment, he felt like the luckiest man in the room. They mingled with the crowd, exchanging polite pleasantries with sponsors and fellow racers. She held her own beautifully, her sharp wit and quiet confidence earning smiles and laughter from everyone she spoke to.

Then came the moment that undid everything.

Franco had stepped away to get them drinks, and when he returned, he overheard a group of men making crude jokes about her. The words were vile—reducing her to nothing more than a pretty accessory, a trophy to be paraded around. Franco’s blood boiled, but instead of stepping in to defend her, he froze. He laughed awkwardly, muttered something dismissive, and walked away.

What he didn’t realize was that she had overheard, her expression a mask of disbelief and hurt as she stood just out of view.

Later that night, as they drove home, the tension in the car was suffocating. She stared out the window, silent, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Franco tried to fill the void with small talk, but each word felt hollow.

Finally, she turned to him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, though he already knew.

“I heard them, Franco. I heard what they said about me. And I heard you laugh. Again.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “It wasn’t like that,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean what? To defend me? To show them that I’m more than the joke they made me out to be?” Her voice cracked, and she turned away, shaking her head. “I thought you were different. I thought you respected me.”

“I do respect you,” he said, his voice rising. “I didn’t know what to say—I panicked.”

“Panicked?” she repeated, her voice dripping with disbelief. “I was standing there, Franco. Listening to them degrade me, waiting for you to have my back. And you panicked?”

The argument spilled into their apartment, growing louder and more painful with each passing moment. By the time it was over, she was packing a bag, tears streaming down her face as she threw clothes into a suitcase.

“Please don’t do this,” Franco said, his voice raw. “Don’t leave. We can fix this.”

She stopped, her hands trembling as she gripped the edge of the suitcase. “You don’t get it, do you?” she said, her voice shaking. “This isn’t just about tonight. It’s about every time you’ve made me feel small, every time you’ve chosen your pride or your reputation over me. I can’t do this anymore.”

And with that, she was gone.

-----

The months that followed were the darkest of Franco’s life. She didn’t answer his calls or texts, and when he went to her friend’s house to see her, he was turned away at the door. For the first time, he had to confront the possibility that he might have lost her for good.

Franco threw himself into therapy, desperate to understand why he kept sabotaging the one thing that mattered most to him. His sessions were grueling, forcing him to confront parts of himself he had long ignored—the insecurities he buried beneath his arrogance, the fear of vulnerability that drove him to push people away.

He also began writing her letters, pouring his heart onto the page in a way he had never been able to do in person. He didn’t know if she would ever read them, but it was the only way he could process his feelings.

Months passed. Slowly, Franco began to change—not for her, but for himself. He realized that he couldn’t ask her to come back if he wasn’t willing to become the man she deserved.

Then, one day, he received an unexpected text.

“Meet me at the park tomorrow at 2.”

His heart leapt, but he forced himself to temper his expectations. When he arrived, she was sitting on a bench, her posture stiff, her expression guarded.

“I got your letters,” she said, her voice quiet.

“And?” he asked, his heart pounding.

“They were… honest,” she admitted. “But honesty doesn’t erase what happened.”

“I know,” he said. “I don’t expect you to forgive me—not yet, maybe not ever. But I want you to know that I’m trying. I’m working on myself, and not just because I want you back. I need to be better, for me. For whoever I become, with or without you.”

She studied him for a long moment, her eyes searching his face. “I don’t know if I can trust you again,” she said finally. “But I’m willing to try. Slowly. On my terms.”

“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he said, his voice steady. “I’m not going anywhere.”

-----

True to her word, she made Franco work for her trust. There were no shortcuts, no grand declarations that could fix what was broken. If he wanted to be in her life again, he had to earn his place every single day.

Their relationship became a fragile thread, held together by small, cautious interactions. They started meeting once a week for coffee, their conversations polite but distant. She kept him at arm’s length, her walls firmly in place. Franco didn’t push; he simply showed up, week after week, ready to prove himself.

One day, as they walked through the park after coffee, she turned to him abruptly. “Why didn’t you stand up for me?” she asked, her voice trembling.

The question caught him off guard, but he didn’t shy away from it. “Because I was afraid,” he admitted. “Afraid of looking weak, afraid of being judged. But mostly… afraid that if I stood up for you and got it wrong, you’d see me as a failure.”

Her eyes softened, but her expression remained guarded. “And now?”

“Now I realize that failing you is worse than failing in front of anyone else,” he said. “If I ever get the chance again, I promise you, I won’t let you down.”

She nodded slowly, her gaze distant. “We’ll see.”

The weeks turned into months, and their connection began to deepen again. She started sharing more of herself, though cautiously, and Franco matched her vulnerability with his own. He told her about the therapy sessions, about the childhood insecurities that had shaped his need for control and approval. It was a side of him she had never seen before, and while it didn’t erase the past, it gave her hope that he was truly changing.

-----

It wasn’t a single moment that brought them back together, but a series of small ones—acts of kindness, vulnerability, and unwavering support. Franco became a man she could rely on, not just in words but in actions. He stood up for her, prioritized her needs, and made her feel seen and valued in every aspect of their lives.

There were moments when he doubted himself, wondering if he was fighting a losing battle. And there were nights when he lay awake, haunted by the memory of her tears, the sound of her voice breaking as she told him how much he had hurt her. Through it all, he held onto the hope that one day, she would see how much he loved her—that she would believe it, not because he said it, but because he showed it in every action, every choice he made.

One rainy afternoon, he decided to try something different. He pulled out a cookbook she had always loved but rarely used and flipped to a page with a recipe for her favorite cake. He was hopeless in the kitchen, but he wanted to try—to show her that he was willing to make an effort, no matter how small. When she came home and found him fumbling with ingredients, the sight stopped her in her tracks.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice tinged with incredulity.

“Trying to make your cake,” he said, holding up a whisk like it was a weapon. “It’s probably going to be terrible, but I thought—”

She interrupted him with a soft laugh. “You’re going to burn the kitchen down.”

“Maybe,” he said, grinning sheepishly. “But I figured it was worth the risk.”

She stepped toward him, closing the distance that had felt insurmountable for so long. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, but her tone was warm, her eyes soft as she reached for the whisk. “Let me help you.”

As they cooked together, bumping elbows and laughing at his mistakes, Franco felt something shift. It wasn’t complete trust—not yet—but it was a beginning. And as he watched her smile, he realized that this was what love was: not grand gestures or perfect moments, but showing up, every day, and choosing each other even when it was hard.

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rootedinrevisions · 2 months ago

Text

Kinktober 2024: Day 9

SUMMARY: Jake Seresin has been trying to take you home from The Hard Deck for a while. However, there's always been something holding you back. A secret that you can't stand the thought of revealing to him. But when he finally gets you to tell him your secret, his reaction is anything but what you expect. And he lets down the "Hangman" persona you've come to know and you see the softer side of Jake.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't know why but I just feel like Jake would be super soft and sweet with you if it was your first time. Sure he's experienced, but he's going to make sure that it's all about you and making you feel good.

PROMPT: "Do you want to take it off or should I do it for you?"

KINK: First Time

WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT. (Simple P in V.)

WORD COUNT: 6.6k

TAG LIST: TAG LIST: @omgbrianabomgbrianab I @shanimallina87 I @fanficmom94 I @smoothdogsgirl I @djs8891 I @saucy-sassy-sparkly I @alipap3 I @dudinhastuff I @lunatygerqueen I @hookslove1592 I @glenpowellluver I @missmarveledsblog

If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! (I currently have one for Glen Powell & His Characters, One for Bradley/Rooster now, and then a third for WWE/Wrestling. I also can create one for Bucky & other MCU characters if there's interest for more of those characters!)

The Hard Deck was quieter than usual, the lively chatter and music of the jukebox fading as the night went on. Most of the regulars had already left as it was ten minutes to closing time. Penny had just waved her goodbyes, her voice playful as she teased Jake, telling him not to give you any trouble. You smiled at her back as she disappeared out the door, then went back to cleaning up behind the bar.

Jake leaned against it, watching you with that familiar, teasing glint in his green eyes. You were used to the way his gaze followed you, but tonight it felt heavier somehow—more focused. Maybe because there weren’t any distractions or anyone else vying for his attention now that closing time was here.

"You never stop, do you?" His voice was low, amused, cutting through the quiet.

You rolled your eyes, wiping down the bar one last time, trying to ignore the way Jake’s eyes followed you. You looked up from wiping down the counter.

"Someone's gotta clean up after you guys," you shot back with a smirk.

Jake chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, but you know I don’t think that’s the only reason you stay late."

You felt the familiar warmth bloom in your chest, the kind that always came when he said things like that. His charm was effortless, but you’d spent months brushing it off. Well, most of the time. Lately, you weren’t so good at it. Because despite the cocky persona, you were starting to see something more beneath it—something softer, more genuine. And that scared you.

Because even though you liked him—maybe more than you cared to admit—there was one thing you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to tell him.

You shot him a look, half playful, half warning, as you tossed the towel onto the counter. "I mean this is my job and I have to stay until closing no matter what. But…humor moe. What’s that supposed to mean?"

He leaned forward on his elbows, his grin widening. "Just that we both know you don’t mind me hanging around."

Your heart fluttered despite yourself, but you forced a smirk. "You always got a line ready, huh?"

"I don’t need lines with you, sweetheart. I think you know that."

You let out a breath and shook your head, feeling your heart race. "You should get going, Seresin. Penny might’ve been joking, but I’m not in the mood to deal with you tonight."

Jake smirked, but there was a gentleness in his gaze. "Or you could stop pushing me away, darlin'. It's been months, and I think we both know this little game of yours is starting to wear thin." His words were soft, but there was no mistaking the desire behind them.

Before you could respond, Jake walked around the bar. You felt your pulse quicken as he crossed the threshold, coming into your space—so close you could feel the heat radiating off him. He didn’t touch you right away, just stood there, eyes tracing your face as if memorizing every detail.

"Jake," you breathed, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out softer than you intended.

He was standing so close now that you had to tilt your head back slightly to look up at him. His eyes, those piercing green eyes, locked onto yours, and you felt the tension building, thickening the air between you.

He leaned down, his face inches from yours. "Tell me to stop, and I will," he murmured, his voice soft but laced with desire.

You swallowed, heart racing, but you didn’t move away. Instead, you let the moment hang there, the pull between you undeniable. He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering against your skin. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you sucked in a breath, torn between wanting to push him away and pull him closer.

"I should—" you started, but the words faltered as he stepped closer, his body now inches from yours.

"You should what?" Jake whispered, his breath warm against your skin as he leaned in, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. "Keep pushing me away? Or finally let me in?"

His hand slid down to your waist, his thumb grazing the bare skin where your shirt had ridden up slightly. It was such a small touch, but it sent heat flooding through you. You had been playing this game with him for months—keeping him at arm’s length, pretending his advances didn’t affect you. But here, now, in this quiet moment with the bar empty and the lights low, you could feel your resolve slipping.

Jake tilted your chin up, forcing you to look into his eyes. "Stop pretending you don’t feel this too."

And before you could second-guess yourself, before you could find another excuse to push him away, you surged forward, closing the distance between you. Your lips met his in a heated, desperate kiss, months of tension spilling over all at once.

Jake wasted no time, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you flush against him. His lips were warm, demanding, and you matched his intensity, your hands tangling in his hair as you pressed closer, wanting more, needing more. It was as if all the weeks of flirting and teasing had built up to this moment, and now that the dam had broken, neither of you could hold back.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, Jake rested his forehead against yours, his voice rough. "Let me take you home tonight."

Your heart was racing as Jake’s words hung between you. Let me take you home tonight. His voice was thick with desire, and his forehead was still resting against yours, his breath warm on your skin.

But as the reality of what he was asking set in, a rush of nerves flooded through you. You pulled back slightly, creating space between your bodies. Jake immediately noticed the shift, his brows knitting together in confusion as you stepped away.

“Why do you keep pulling away from me?” he asked softly, his voice a mix of frustration and concern.

His hand remained on your waist, though gentler now, as if he was afraid you’d slip away entirely.

You shook your head, trying to steady your breathing, but the words were stuck in your throat.

He waited, watching you carefully, his expression softening as he searched your face for an answer.

“I don’t… I don’t do that,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jake frowned, clearly misunderstanding. “What, a one-night stand?” His lips quirked into a small, almost disbelieving smile. “Darlin’, I’ve been chasing you for months. This isn’t just some one-time thing.”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten. He wasn’t playing around, and you knew it. But that wasn’t what this was about. You looked away, biting your lip as you tried to find the courage to say what had been weighing on you all this time.

He tilted your chin up gently, forcing your eyes to meet his. “Talk to me,” he urged, his voice low but patient. “What’s going on?”

You swallowed hard, the vulnerability of the moment making you feel exposed in a way you hadn’t expected. The tension between you had always been playful, teasing, but this… this was different. This was real. And the fear of disappointing him was almost overwhelming.

“Jake…” You hesitated, the words thick on your tongue. “I’ve never been with anyone. In that way.”

The weight of your confession hung in the air, and for a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, afraid of how he might react. But when you finally dared to glance up, you saw something unexpected in his eyes.

There was no judgment. No disappointment. Just understanding.

His grip on your waist tightened slightly, grounding you as he took a step closer. “You mean you’re—?”

“A virgin,” you finished for him, your voice barely a whisper.

Jake exhaled softly, his expression unreadable for a moment as he processed what you’d said. Then, to your surprise, he let out a small, almost incredulous laugh—though it wasn’t mocking. It was more like he couldn’t believe the situation. “You thought that’d make me walk away?”

“I just thought…” You trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. The truth was, you didn’t know what you had expected. Maybe that he’d see you as some kind of challenge, or that he’d decide it wasn’t worth it. “You’re… you. And I know you’ve been with… other people.”

Jake’s smile softened as he shook his head, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Yeah, I’ve been with other people. But none of them were you.”

His words made your heart skip a beat, and before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender, reassuring kiss. “You think I’ve been showing up at this bar every night just for fun? I’m not here for a fling. I’m here because I want you.”

You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you. It was so easy to get caught up in your own insecurities, to assume that someone like Jake wouldn’t want you once he knew the truth. But he was still here, still holding you close, as if none of that mattered.

“I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for,” Jake said softly, his hand sliding down to lace his fingers with yours. “But if you’ll let me… I’ll talk you through it. We’ll take it slow.”

The sincerity in his voice made your heart ache, and for the first time that night, the nervousness you’d been feeling started to ease. Jake wasn’t rushing you, wasn’t pressuring you. He was offering you a choice.

You looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “You’d do that?”

Jake’s smile widened, his green eyes softening. “Darlin’, I’d do anything for you.”

As you and Jake finished closing up the bar, the familiar clinking of glasses and the faint scent of spilled beer lingered in the air. You wiped down the last countertop while Jake stacked chairs, a comfortable silence enveloping the space. But the excitement and nerves bubbling inside you felt electric.

Once the last light was turned off and the door was locked, you stepped out into the cool night air, glancing over at Jake. He stood beside you, his hands shoved in his pockets, his casual demeanor making him seem effortlessly charming.

You turned to him, your stomach fluttering with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. “So… what happens now?” You felt a bit awkward asking, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself.

Jake’s smile was warm and genuine, lighting up his green eyes. “Well, we could go to my place or yours. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

His suggestion sent another thrill of excitement through you. “I think I’d feel better at your place,” you admitted, recalling the warmth and safety of the last time you were there. “My roommate is home.”

Jake nodded, a knowing look on his face. “That’s cool. I actually got a ride here, so if you don’t mind driving…?”

“Not at all,” you replied, leading the way to your car, your heart racing with the prospect of what the night might hold.

Once inside, you fished your phone out of your bag and shot a quick text to your roommate, letting her know you wouldn’t be home tonight. Just as you hit send, her response buzzed through, and you groaned at the barrage of messages that followed.

Your car’s Bluetooth connected automatically, and suddenly, your roommate’s messages began to read out loud in the car.

“‘Where are you? Who are you with? Are you with the sexy blond pilot from Texas you’ve been talking about?’”

“Are you serious?” you muttered under your breath.

You rolled your eyes, your face flushing with embarrassment as Jake chuckled beside you. “So, am I the sexy blond pilot from Texas you’ve been talking about? Or is there someone else I should know about?”

“Yes, you are,” you admitted, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. You couldn’t tell if you were flustered or exhilarated, the thrill of the moment mingling with your nervousness.

Jake grinned, a teasing glint in his eye. “I like that title. It has a nice ring to it.”

As you pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, you couldn’t help but glance at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He was relaxed, leaning back against the seat, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Don’t worry. I promise not to embarrass you too much in front of your roommate when I meet her.”

You glance over for a second. The “when I meet her” is not being lost on you. He was so confident that this was something more than it seemed like it was. That there would be more times he went home with you. That there would be a point where you introduce him to your friends.

“It’s kind of cute how you get all flustered.”

“Cute?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, though it was a little breathy. “Is that really the word you want to use right now?”

Jake shrugged, his smirk only growing wider. “What can I say? I’m a fan of cute.”

As you drove through the dimly lit streets, the tension in the car shifted to a more comfortable vibe. You found yourself stealing glances at him, his profile silhouetted against the glow of the dashboard lights, and every now and then, your eyes would meet.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his gaze steady on you, the question sincere.

“Just… this feels surreal,” you admitted, biting your lip. “I didn’t think I’d ever actually go home with someone, especially not someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” he echoed, pretending to be hurt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, charming, flirtatious, with a history of one-night stands,” you teased, though your heart raced as you said it.

“I’m more than just my reputation, you know.” Jake let out a chuckle, leaning closer as he turned his body toward you. “I promise I won’t be that guy tonight.”

You appreciated his earnestness, and it eased some of your nerves. “What guy are you going to be then?”

“The guy who’s crazy about you,” he said softly, the sincerity of his words hitting you like a warm wave.

You glanced away, your heart pounding, the weight of his confession sinking in. The rest of the drive passed in a comfortable silence, the city lights flashing by as you felt the promise of something more lingering in the air. The only time either of you spoke was when Jake would give you directions on where to turn to get to his off-base apartment.

As you approached his apartment complex, you parked the car and turned off the engine, the moment hanging between you. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for whatever came next.

Jake reached over and gently squeezed your hand, his touch sending warmth through you. “You okay?”

You nodded, meeting his gaze, the tension palpable. “Yeah. I think I am.”

“Good,” he said, his voice low and inviting. “Let’s take it slow, alright?”

As you stepped into Jake's apartment, the familiar warmth and coziness wrapped around you like a hug. The low light from a few strategically placed lamps bathed the space in a golden glow, and the faint scent of cologne lingered in the air. It felt inviting, and for a moment, the nervous energy that had been building since you left The Hard Deck began to dissipate.

Jake closed the door behind you and gestured toward the couch. “Make yourself at home. Want something to drink?”

You glanced around, taking in the soft, comfortable furnishings and the scattered remnants of his life—a few books on the coffee table, a framed picture of him and his fellow pilots, and a small plant in the corner that added a splash of green. “Sure, um… what do you have?” you asked, a hint of nervousness creeping back into your voice.

“Beer, water, or I think I might have some whiskey,” he replied, flashing a playful smile. “I could also make us some fancy cocktails if you’re feeling adventurous.”

You chuckled softly. “I’ll stick with beer for now. I think my nerves could use something familiar.”

“Good choice,” he said, moving toward the small kitchen area, and you followed, taking a seat on the couch. The soft cushions cradled you, a welcome comfort. As he grabbed two cold beers from the fridge, you noticed the way his muscles flexed, the effortless grace with which he moved.

He returned, handing you a bottle and plopping down beside you. “So, what do you want to watch?” He reached for the remote, casually leaning back against the couch, his proximity both comforting and electrifying.

You took a sip of your beer, grateful for the momentary distraction. “I’m not picky. What do you usually watch?”

He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m a sucker for anything with explosions, but I guess I could put on something less intense for you.”

“Maybe something funny?” you suggested, smiling. “I could use a good laugh right now.”

“Alright, let’s see what we can find,” he replied, scrolling through the options before settling on a comedy special. The familiar sound of laughter filled the room, and as you settled back, you felt the tension begin to ease away.

As the comedy special played on, you found yourself laughing at the jokes, the atmosphere gradually shifting from tense to relaxed. You both exchanged playful banter, the conversation flowing easily between you as you started to feel more at ease.

Jake made a few jokes that had you in stitches, and it felt refreshing to be with someone who made you laugh so easily. The sound of his laughter was infectious, and soon you were both caught up in a lighthearted exchange.

At one point, he leaned closer, his body angled toward yours, and you caught the warmth of his gaze. “You know, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few months,” he said, his voice softening, sincerity spilling over the humor. “You’re not like other girls I’ve met.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, genuinely curious.

He hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words. “You’re real. You don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I like that.”

A small blush crept across your cheeks at his compliment. “Thanks, I guess,” you replied, feeling the warmth of his gaze on you.

The air between you crackled with an undeniable tension, a magnetic pull that drew you closer to Jake. He maintained a patient silence, his eyes searching yours as if waiting for a cue. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within you.

After a moment, you gathered your courage, leaning in just slightly, your breath hitching as you closed the distance. Jake's gaze softened, his lips parting slightly in anticipation.

When your lips finally met, it felt electric. The kiss was gentle at first, a tentative exploration, but as you melted against him, the softness deepened into something more passionate. Jake’s hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as he responded to your kiss with a fervor that sent shivers down your spine.

You lost yourself in the warmth of his embrace, the world outside fading into oblivion. The kiss was everything you had imagined—sweet, thrilling, and filled with an unspoken promise.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, you found Jake watching you with a mix of admiration and desire in his eyes.

“Wow,” he murmured, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “I didn’t think you could get any cuter.”

You couldn’t help but blush at his compliment, but the warmth of his body against yours was urging you to take things further. “Maybe we should… do something else,” you suggested your voice barely above a whisper.

Jake’s smile widened, and without hesitation, he stood, offering you his hand. “Come on,” he said, leading you toward his bedroom.

The moment you stepped inside, you felt a rush of anticipation. The room was dimly lit, with a warm glow emanating from a bedside lamp. It felt safe and intimate, the perfect setting for what was about to unfold.

Jake turned to you, his expression serious yet inviting. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice low and gentle, as if he were afraid to push you too far too fast.

You nodded, feeling more confident now that you were here with him. “I am,” you replied, your heart racing with excitement. “I want to be with you.”

He closed the space between you, cupping your face in his hands. “Then let’s take it slow, okay?”

You smiled at him, grateful for his understanding. He leaned in, capturing your lips again in a heated kiss. His hands roamed your back, sending sparks of electricity through your skin, as you melted into him. You could feel the intensity of his desire mirrored in your own, and it filled you with a sense of exhilaration.

With a gentle nudge, Jake led you to the bed, sitting you down as he knelt in front of you. He took a moment to look up at you, his green eyes filled with warmth and something deeper—something that made your heart race.

“Are you really okay with this?” he asked again, his voice a soothing balm to your nerves.

You reached for him, brushing your fingers against his cheek. “I am,” you assured him, your heart swelling with affection. “Just… be gentle with me.”

“Always,” he promised, leaning in to kiss you softly, a world of emotion wrapped up in that one gesture.

As the kiss deepened, you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours, and the weight of your nervousness slowly began to lift. Jake’s hands moved to your waist, guiding you as he joined you on the bed, settling beside you with a tenderness that made your heart swell.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against your lips, his breath warm and inviting.

A wave of heat washed over you at his words. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied shyly, the chemistry between you undeniable.

As the kiss deepened, a surge of confidence coursed through you. With a newfound boldness, your hands slid down Jake's chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it fueled your desire. As you pushed his shirt up, Jake paused, letting you take the lead for just a moment longer.

With a playful smile, he pulled away just enough to shed the shirt completely, revealing his toned torso. Your breath hitched at the sight, and his green eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and admiration.

His hands moved to your shirt next, fingers gently grazing your skin as he looked into your eyes, searching for your consent. “Do you want to take it off, or should I do it for you?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.

You felt a flutter of excitement in your stomach, a thrill at being so vulnerable yet completely safe with him. “You can do it,” you replied, your voice steady despite the rapid beating of your heart.

With a smile that sent warmth pooling in your chest, Jake carefully lifted your shirt, baring your skin inch by inch. His touch was gentle, and you reveled in the sensation of being exposed to him. Once your shirt was off, he leaned down, kissing a trail down your neck, shoulders, and collarbones, sending shivers through you.

The warmth of his breath against your skin sent waves of anticipation through you. With a deep breath, you caught him off guard by whispering, “I want more.”

Without missing a beat, Jake’s lips found yours again, igniting a fire that burned brighter than before. His hands moved with purpose, exploring your body as he trailed kisses down your chest, pausing to pay attention to every sensitive spot. The way he worshipped your skin made you feel cherished and desired all at once.

With each kiss, your confidence grew, and the nervousness that once lingered began to fade into exhilaration. You melted into him, losing yourself in the sensation of his warmth against you.

Jake’s kisses ignited every nerve ending in your body, and you responded instinctively, arching into him as he continued his exploration. His hands moved expertly, caressing your skin and pulling you closer, as if trying to fuse your bodies into one.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured against your collarbone, and the way he looked at you, with such intensity and reverence, made you feel like the only person in the world.

Feeling emboldened, you reached out, your fingers grazing his jawline before tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as you captured his lips once more. The kiss was fervent, passionate, and filled with the promise of everything that was yet to come.

With a playful glint in his eye, Jake pulled back just slightly, his breath hot against your lips. “Just so you know,” he said, a teasing smirk on his face, “this is definitely not a one-time thing.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling lighter, more alive than ever. “I’m glad,” you replied, your heart swelling with anticipation for what the night had in store.

As the kiss deepened, you felt the heat between you both intensifying. Jake's hands moved with a mix of urgency and tenderness as he helped you slide out of the rest of your clothes. Each piece of fabric that fell away felt like a barrier dissolving, but as you lay fully exposed before him, a wave of shyness washed over you. The vulnerability was overwhelming, and your heart raced with a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

Jake noticed the change in your demeanor, the way your confidence seemed to flicker just for a moment. With a gentle smile, he leaned over to grab a blanket from the edge of the bed, pulling it up over both of you, as if to cocoon you in warmth and comfort.

“Hey,” he said softly, his eyes filled with reassurance, “you’re stunning. Just take a deep breath.”

You glanced at him, his presence grounding you even as you felt a blush creep up your cheeks. His gaze was warm, filled with a mix of desire and admiration, and it helped ease some of your nerves. But there was still the matter of the not-so-fun conversation to be had.

“Okay, we should talk about… you know,” Jake said, his voice a little more serious as he leaned back slightly, creating a little space. “Protection.”

You nodded, feeling your heart race in a different way now. “I’m on the pill,” you admitted, trying to keep your voice steady. “But I’d prefer it if you wore a condom too.”

Jake’s expression shifted to one of understanding. “Absolutely,” he said, a hint of relief in his tone. “Better safe than sorry.” He leaned over to his nightstand, opening the drawer and retrieving a condom.

You watched as he slid it on with practiced ease, the action both intimate and reassuring. It reminded you that despite the heat of the moment, he was still focused on your comfort and safety.

Once he was ready, he turned back to you, the blanket still wrapped around your bodies. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and sincere.

You nodded, feeling a little more at ease, the warmth of the blanket and his presence enveloping you. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just… a little nervous.”

He smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s completely normal. We can take this as slow as you need.”

With that, the nervous tension began to ebb away, replaced by the gentle caress of anticipation. Jake shifted closer, his body warm against yours beneath the blanket. You could feel his heart beating in rhythm with yours, a comforting reminder that you weren’t alone in this.

“Just tell me what you want, and I’ll follow your lead,” he murmured, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for any signs of hesitation.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded again, feeling the warmth of his gaze on you. “I want you,” you whispered, your voice steady now.

A grin broke out on Jake’s face, his eyes sparkling with delight. “Then let’s make this a night to remember,” he replied, his tone a mix of excitement and reverence.

With that, he closed the space between you, capturing your lips in another kiss, this one slow and deliberate. The world outside faded away, and in that moment, it was just you and Jake, ready to explore the depth of your connection together.

As Jake positioned himself at your entrance, a rush of anticipation coursed through you. He paused, looking deeply into your eyes, searching for any signs of uncertainty. With a gentle nod from you, he began to slide himself inside you, inch by inch.

The initial sensation was unfamiliar, but it wasn’t painful; instead, it felt like a warm, fulfilling stretch, unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Your breath hitched as he moved slowly, allowing you to adjust to this new intimacy. Jake’s lips found your neck, planting soft kisses along your collarbone, whispering sweet nothings that made your heart race even faster.

“Just breathe, okay? I’ve got you,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and filled with awe.

You nodded, feeling his warmth envelop you, both physically and emotionally. With each gentle thrust, he slid deeper, filling you completely. The rhythm he established was deliberate, slow, and tender, letting you savor every sensation.

“Tell me how it feels,” he whispered, pulling back just enough to lock eyes with you, his green gaze intense and sincere.

“It feels… good,” you breathed out, the words escaping before you could second-guess yourself.

A smile spread across his face, his confidence mingling with genuine affection. “That’s all I want. Just want to make you feel good. You just tell me if you want me to go faster or if you want me to slow down.”

You shook your head, feeling more confident with every soft thrust. “No, just… keep going.”

Encouraged by your words, Jake adjusted his position slightly, finding a deeper angle. The pleasure built steadily, warmth pooling in your core as he moved. Each gentle thrust sent waves of sensation coursing through you, the connection between your bodies deepening with every moment.

He continued to whisper to you, his voice a mix of reassurance and desire. “You’re doing amazing. Just like that. You’re perfect.”

Jake’s kisses traveled back to your lips, capturing your mouth again in a heated kiss that ignited the spark between you even further. He pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your waist, as if he wanted to envelop you completely.

You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer as you felt yourself responding to his rhythm, instinctively moving with him. The sensation of his skin against yours ignited every nerve ending, making you gasp softly between kisses.

“You’re incredible,” Jake murmured, his voice husky and filled with admiration.

His words sent a thrill down your spine. You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the sensations he was creating, the warmth radiating from where you were joined. You focused on your breathing, allowing each inhale and exhale to synchronize with his movements, feeling the heat pooling in your core grow more intense.

“Jake,” you whispered, the name barely escaping your lips. You felt more vulnerable than ever, yet there was a thrill in that vulnerability, a trust in the way he held you, as if he were cherishing you.

With a gentle movement, he shifted his angle, and suddenly a wave of pleasure surged through you, almost overwhelming in its intensity. You gasped, feeling the unfamiliar sensation build higher and higher within you.

“Did you like that?” he teased, his breath warm against your neck. He began to pick up his pace, the urgency in his movements matching the rising tide of pleasure.

You could only nod, too lost in the moment to find the words.

“Good,” he breathed, his lips trailing down to your collarbone. “I want you to feel everything, to let it all in.”

As he continued to move inside you, you felt a sense of liberation wash over you. Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you pulled him closer, silently urging him to keep going.

“You can let go, baby. Just enjoy it,” he encouraged his voice a steady anchor amidst the rising waves of pleasure.

And let go you did. You surrendered to the sensations, allowing each thrust to send you higher and higher, the world outside becoming a blur as you focused solely on the feeling of him inside you, filling you, moving with you.

Your breaths came in shorter gasps, and you felt an unfamiliar tightening deep within you, the unmistakable sign of your impending climax.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the pleasure, but Jake seemed to sense your body’s reactions.

“Don’t hold back,” he whispered, his eyes searching yours for permission. “I want to see you let go.”

With a final, desperate thrust, that wave crashed over you, enveloping you in ecstasy. You cried out his name, the sound echoing in the dimly lit room as the world exploded in colors behind your closed eyelids.

Jake followed you, his movements becoming more erratic as he found his release, his body tensing above you, his eyes locked onto yours. In that shared moment of bliss, everything fell away—the doubts, the worries, and the fears—all that existed was the two of you, intertwined in a dance of passion and vulnerability.

As you both rode the waves of pleasure down, Jake collapsed beside you, pulling you close, his heart racing in time with yours. You nestled into him, feeling the warmth radiating from his body.

“Wow,” he finally breathed, his voice still thick with disbelief. “That was… incredible.”

You chuckled softly, still catching your breath. “Yeah, it was.”

Jake stroked your hair gently, his fingers weaving through the strands. “You okay?” he asked, his voice suddenly serious.

You nodded, looking up to meet his gaze. “Yeah, I am. More than okay, actually.”

A smile spread across his face, a mixture of relief and delight. “Good. Because that was just the beginning.”

After disposing of the condom, Jake crawled back into bed, the sheets cool against his skin. He noticed you instinctively covering yourself with the blanket, a hint of shyness creeping in after the intense connection you had just shared.

With a soft chuckle, he quickly rummaged through his dresser, retrieving a clean T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

“Hey,” he called out gently, “you might want to get comfy.” He tossed the clothes toward you, a playful grin on his face.

You caught the shirt and pants, a smile tugging at your lips as you slipped into the bathroom. After changing, you took a moment to compose yourself. The lingering sensations from earlier sent butterflies swirling in your stomach, and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves. You glanced at your reflection, a mix of exhilaration and disbelief washing over you.

When you finally stepped out, you found Jake lying in bed, now wearing a pair of sweatpants and leaning back against the headboard, his phone in hand.

His eyes lit up the moment he saw you. “There you are,” he said, grinning. “Looking good.”

You felt the warmth spread across your cheeks at his compliment. “Thanks,” you replied, your voice soft as you moved to the edge of the bed, feeling the softness of the sheets beneath your fingers.

There was a confidence radiating off him like a warm glow. “How are you feeling?” he asked genuine concern in his gaze.

“Still processing, I think,” you admitted, shifting slightly as you sat on the edge of the bed, the blanket pooling around your legs. “But… I’m really happy.”

He smiled at that, his expression softening. “Good. You should be. That was amazing.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to break free. “It was,” you agreed, glancing down at your hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but…”

“But?” he prompted, leaning forward slightly, his curiosity piqued.

“But it was better than I ever imagined,” you finished, feeling a rush of honesty.

Jake’s smile widened, and he scooted closer to you, his knee brushing against yours. “I’m glad to hear that. You deserve to feel that way, you know?” He paused, his voice turning serious. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

You nodded, feeling a wave of warmth spread through you at his words. “I know. I trust you,” you said softly, searching his gaze for any sign of doubt. But all you found was sincerity.

“Good,” he replied, his tone lightening again. “So, what do you want to do now? We could order food, watch something ridiculous on TV, or just talk. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the options. “Food sounds good,” you said, feeling your stomach rumble in agreement.

“Alright,” he said, leaning back against the headboard with a playful smirk. “I’ll let you pick. Just know, if you choose pineapple on pizza, I might have to reevaluate our relationship.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “No pineapple, I promise.”

“Whew,” he said dramatically, placing a hand over his heart as if he had been spared from a terrible fate. “That’s a relief.”

As you reached for your phone to look up menus, you felt the tension from earlier dissolve into the comfortable atmosphere around you. You couldn’t shake the feeling of warmth and safety that wrapped around you like a cozy blanket.

You exchanged jokes and light-hearted banter, the air filled with laughter. It felt easy, the way it always had, but now there was an added layer of intimacy that made your heart race every time his hand brushed against yours.

“Alright, I think I found a place,” you said, finally breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you. “How about tacos? They have really good ones.”

Jake nodded, looking pleased. “Tacos it is. But you have to promise me we’ll get dessert afterward.”

“Deal,” you agreed, your stomach fluttering again, both from the food and the closeness of him beside you.

After placing the order, you settled back into the bed, leaning against Jake as he grabbed the remote. With a few clicks, the TV flickered to life, a mindless comedy playing in the background as you both relaxed.

Every so often, he would glance at you, a soft smile on his face as he made jokes about the show. You could feel the chemistry between you, the tension of the night slowly morphing into something warm and comforting, as if you were both basking in the aftermath of what had just unfolded.

#Top Gun Hangman #Top Gun Hangman Fanfiction #Top Gun Hangman Fanfic #Jake Seresin #Jake Seresin Fanfiction #Jake Seresin Fanfic #Jake Hangman Seresin #Jake Seresin x reader #Hangman x reader #Jake Seresin Smut #Hangman Jake Seresin Smut

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gottagobuycheese · 9 months ago

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HEY! YOU!

You've probably heard by now, but from March 4th to 10th 2024, Help Gaza Children will be sending all their donations to families in northern Gaza, where food prices have skyrocketed even more than in the south. Their goal is $25K by the end of the week; at the time of writing this post, it's about halfway a quarter way there! (OG post about it) [EDIT: my mistake, I misinterpreted the numbers in the original post; evidently I cannot do arithmetic anymore]

This is their notion site, which has their donation link as well as additional info, their FAQ, important updates, and proof of purchases from donations they’ve gotten in the past. You can also donate directly to their paypal here.

As such, I'll be open for sketch commissions up from now (March 7th, 2024 ~02:20 PST) through March 10th in exchange for proof of donation to Help Gaza Children!

BASIC OVERVIEW:

Tier 1 - Basic head/bust sketch for $1-5 USD, +50% for basic color. Up to 3 characters.

Tier 2 - Basic screencap resketch for $5-15 USD, +50% for basic color.

Tier 3 - Posed sketch for $15-25 USD, 1-2 characters ONLY.

Tier 4 - Colored clean sketch: $25+ USD, 1-2 characters ONLY.

RULES:

Please provide a visual reference or detailed description of the character(s) you want drawn (and depending on the tier, a screencap or pose/expression you want to go with it)

DO'S: OCs, humans and human-like creatures, other creatures that don't have a lot of mechanical or anatomical detail (as in, I can TRY to do mecha stuff, but I think you and I will both be better of if I don't lol; can ask for further details)

DON'T'S: any NSFW stuff, real people currently alive (as in, historical figures in the setting of historical fiction may be okay, but other things may not be; can ask for further details)

If you've made your donation in a currency that is not USD, I'll give you something of equivalent value according to the tier based on whatever the conversion is at the time that I look it up. If one or both of our economies crashes spectacularly in between the time you send it and the time I look it up, I'm very sorry in advance

DISCLAIMER 1: I reserve the right to decline a commission for any reason; however, if this ends up being the case, I may reach out to you to see if we can come up with a middle ground that suits us both.

DISCLAIMER 2: I don't anticipate being able to do a lot of these, as I've got a full-time job that's in the ballpark ~80+ hours a week with really weird hours. That being said, depending on how far this goes, turnaround time will probably be ~2-3 months, give or take...something. I'll update you monthly until it's done.

FOR PERSONAL, NON-COMMERCIAL USE ONLY!

If you're interested in nabbing a sketch from me in exchange for your donation, email a screenshot (devoid of any personal info please) of your donation receipt and details of your sketch request (e.g. reference, tier, etc.) to [email protected]. For your donation to count for a sketch, it must be made after I wrote this post! (March 7, 2024 ~02:20 A.M. PST)

If you are NOT interested in nabbing a sketch from me, feel free to donate anyway!!

(And if you've got any questions about anything feel free to email, DM, or send an ask!)

#palestine #gaza #helpgazachildren #orv #undertale #commissions #donations #if this inspires even one extra person to donate that wouldn't otherwise have known about it I'll consider that a win #anyways I don't really expect this to go very far outside my circle if at all #so I'd appreciate some help in spreading the word #especially about the main fundraiser #these drawings are really secondary to the whole thing #but if you want to donate AND help a sad partially-art-blocked artist get unblocked! here is your opportunity!#if this goes somewhere I might do it again with other links #otherwise I'll just keep donating privately

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shixcherie · 1 month ago

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Who’s Gonna Tell Her ? | Kim Hongjoong ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆Day 24 : Virginity loss

↬ [ Synopsis ] : After a grand festival, a blissful night of Phoenix Kingdom’s rice wine, and sweet encounters with Prince Hongjoong, will you, the Dragon Princess, be able to resist him or will you surrender completely as he takes your innocence? Is this the end, or are wedding bells about to ring?

☆Word Count : 5.07k ☆Genre : Smut, Angst, a long plot, Historical Au. ☆Pairing : Prince! Hongjoong x Princess! F.Reader

☆☆☆WARNINGS : mdni!, Pure smut(18+), with some plot, Historical setting, pretty descriptive settings, virginity loss, neck kisses and bites, nipple play, fingering (fem recieving), unprotected sex (be responsible honey), both Hongjoong and y/n's kingdoms are close friends, mentions of alcohol, fluff at the end, romance.

NOTE : Day 24 is here for you as well. I am grinding hard to catch up because I was busy with exams so now I am working hard to finish this kinktober on time.

This story began when I was watching The Apothecary Diaries, so the setting is inspired by the show. A royal backdrop is new territory for me, so please forgive any mistakes as I try to immerse you in the Phoenix Kingdom and its grandeur.

Also, I’m officially declaring Ryujin as my best friend 😁🥺—she’ll be making an appearance as Y/N's bestie in every fic (fight me if you disagree)!

And one more note: I’m writing a virginity loss kink for the first time, so I aimed to portray it respectfully for both characters. Any rookie mistakes, feel free to enlighten me in DMs or comments!

"Y/n, who are you most excited to meet at this banquet ?" your twin brother Felix nudged as your carriage neared the Phoenix Kingdom. Your Dragon Kingdom, one of the Phoenix Kingdom's oldest allies, had maintained close ties for years and was always invited to the extravagant event the Firebird Kingdom held each year.

The Rising Fire Festival was a grand celebration hosted annually by Phoenix Emperor Seonghwa to commemorate a successful year. He invited friends and close acquaintances, including your brother, Emperor Bangchan.

“I’m excited to meet everyone, Felix. Why are you asking that specifically, though ?” You narrowed your eyes at your twin playfully. “I’m excited to see Prince Wooyoung and my best friend Princess Ryujin from the Tiger Kingdom, and also Princess Yeji from the Crane Kingdom as well. So, there are a lot of friends I’m looking forward to meeting.”

“What about Prince Hongjoong ? Aren’t you excited to see him ?” Felix teased, knowing about your tiny crush on the Phoenix prince.

“Oh, yeah! He’s going to be there as well, right… I’m looking forward to seeing him, too. It’s been a while.” you replied, trying to stay composed and not fall for Felix’s teasing, though your face betrayed you as a red blush crept up your cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah, sure… who are you kidding ?” Felix continued to tease. “Just don’t jump into his arms when you see him.”

As the redness on your cheeks intensified, you shot back, “Shut up, Felix. I hope Princess Lia ignores you the whole evening. That’ll be enough to punish you for teasing me.” you teased, reminding him of his fiancée, whom he was set to marry in a few months. Felix pouted at you.

You wished for the ride to end soon, eager to escape your irritating twin, while Hongjoong’s face crossed your mind, bringing a smile to your lips. You really couldn’t wait to see him.

The alliance between the Dragons and Phoenixes spanned decades, beginning when your father and Seonghwa’s father were close friends, sharing resources and enjoying hunts together. Seonghwa and Bangchan had continued the friendship, maintaining a close political bond and sharing resources.

The carriage finally came to a halt, pulling you from your thoughts as you looked out the small window and took in the grandeur of the Phoenix Kingdom. A footman helped you and Felix out of the carriage, and as your eyes sparkled at the breathtaking scene before you, you saw Felix mirroring your expression.

The “Rising Fire” festival of the Phoenix Kingdom glowed with splendor unlike any other. The palace grounds had been transformed, each corner adorned with golden lanterns and flowers in fiery hues, symbolizing the warmth and power of the Phoenix King, Emperor Seonghwa. This grand event gathered royals from allied kingdoms, each arriving to pay their respects and express gratitude to the ruler of the Phoenix Kingdom.

As you and your brothers entered the vast palace courtyard, you couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty surrounding you. Your elder brother, Emperor Bangchan, walked proudly in the center, his dignified presence impossible to ignore, while your twin brother Felix, on his other side, wore a sweet grin, his eyes darting around to take in the sights while also looking for his fiancée, Princess Lia. The royal guards, dressed in red and gold armor emblazoned with phoenixes, bowed deeply as your party approached, adding to the already festive atmosphere.

Inside, the grand banquet hall was bustling with nobles and royals, all dressed in their finest attire. Towering red pillars carved with phoenix motifs seemed to dance in the flickering candlelight, while golden banners embroidered with images of mythical creatures soaring through flames served as tributes to Seonghwa and the powerful lineage he represented.

Emperor Seonghwa shone like a true Phoenix in his richly embroidered attire, his captivating smile greeting everyone with warmth. You and your brothers went ahead to greet him, though your gaze drifted toward his younger brother, Prince Hongjoong, who was nearby, keeping a group of princesses entertained.

A tiny spark of jealousy glinted in your eyes as Felix noticed and snickered, drawing your attention back to what Seonghwa and your brother were discussing.

Hongjoong, dressed in deep red robes embroidered with gold and black phoenixes, was the picture of royal elegance. His eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint as he greeted each guest, an ease only years of practice could give. Girls whispered and giggled like admirers as he passed, casting flirtatious glances his way. While respected for his loyalty to the Phoenix Kingdom, Hongjoong had a reputation for enjoying the luxuries of royal life, including the attention of many his admirers.

When his gaze finally met yours, he politely excused himself and made his way toward you. Seeing him approach, you quickly excused yourself, grabbing Felix to head toward the food area where your other friends were. You needed Ryujin to hype you up before facing Hongjoong.

“Y/n! Over here!” Your best friend, Princess Ryujin, called from the drinks section. You spotted Wooyoung next to her, deep in conversation with Yeji and Lia, while stuffing his face with food. Typical Prince Woo. Felix’s eyes lit up as he spotted Lia in her beautiful attire, and with that, he left your side to greet her.

“Ryujin!” You hugged her, whispering, “Save me, please. Hongjoong is coming this way.” Ryujin chuckled at your cry for help but nodded, as you smoothed your dress, greeting Wooyoung and Yeji while anticipating Hongjoong’s arrival.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him greet your brother before heading toward your group, his strides confident and relaxed, a smile growing on his face as he approached. Greeting each of your friends, he finally turned to you. You exchanged a nervous look with Ryujin, who responded with a cheerful grin.

Hongjoong’s gaze lingered on you with a hint of something more than polite curiosity, his eyes sweeping over you appreciatively. "The Dragon Empire's beauty is not just in its landscapes, it seems. You look beautiful, Princess Y/n." he said with a smirk, letting his gaze drop to admire your attire. Your gown was a deep, shimmering emerald with golden accents featured intricate dragon embroidery symbolic of your empire, with scales that seemed to shine in the candlelight. "You wear your heritage with elegance, Princess. It suits you perfectly."

“Thank you, Prince Hongjoong,” you replied politely, bowing slightly to the young prince.

“I hope our celebration has been as enchanting as you expected, Princess,” he continued, his tone dropping slightly, just enough for you to notice. “The Phoenix Kingdom holds this celebration every year to remind us all of our alliances and shared prosperity.”

You met his eyes, feeling a thrilling spark. "It certainly lives up to its reputation," you replied, smiling. “The Phoenix Kingdom is beautiful, and the hospitality here is… unforgettable.”

“Then I am glad,” Hongjoong replied, his smile deepening. “Perhaps I can make it even more memorable for you, if you’ll allow me.”

Felix chuckled softly beside you, exchanging a knowing glance with Ryujin and the others.

“Perhaps our Dragon Princess would enjoy a dance. I heard you’re a great dancer, Prince Hongjoong,” Ryujin teased, her eyes flicking between you and Hongjoong as everyone awaited his response.

As musicians began to play an elegant melody, Hongjoong offered a cheerful, pearly smile and extended his hand. “Whatever the princess wishes, the princess shall have,” he said warmly. “Would you join me for a dance, Princess ?”

Accepting gracefully, you took his hand and stepped onto the dance floor, while your friends stepped back, leaving you and Hongjoong to the moment. The night air was thick with the scent of sandalwood incense and plum wine, the celebratory atmosphere almost intoxicating as you immeresed yourself in the beautiful moment.

Your heart skipped a beat as your bodies moved to the soft melody, your hand resting in his soft yet firm grasp. All eyes turned to watch as the two of you glided together. It felt as though every step brought you closer, both in movement and spirit.

The celebration continued around you, filled with laughter and joy, yet in that moment, it felt as if you and Hongjoong were the only two in the room. The flickering lanterns cast golden shadows across his face, highlighting his dark eyes and the slight smile playing on his lips.

Leaning in close, he murmured, “You may find that there’s much more to the Phoenix Kingdom than what meets the eye, Princess. It’s changed quite a bit since you and your friends last visited.”

You glanced up, warmth spreading within you. “I look forward to discovering everything it has to offer, Prince Hongjoong.”

“Perhaps we could all enjoy some quiet time in the gardens once the party ends. We could reminisce over a few drinks like old times. Do you remember when we used to play together in the gardens as kids ?”

“I do,” you replied, holding his gaze as a beautiful smile crossed your lips. “And I’d love a chance to wind down after all this excitement.”

As the night deepened, the celebrations spilled over into the cherry blossom gardens, where you, Felix, Hongjoong, Wooyoung, Ryujin, Lia, and Yeji found a cozy spot beneath the canopy of plum trees. The soft glow of the nearby lanterns cast a warm light over your small group as laughter and clinking cups filled the cool night air.

Hongjoong had brought out several bottles of the Phoenix Kingdom’s finest rice wine, smooth and sweet, and as each of you raised your cups in endless toasts to family, friendship, and adventures, the hours began to blur while the night enveloped you and your friends.

Felix was in rare form, laughing heartily as he exchanged stories with Wooyoung, who matched him drink for drink. Ryujin, Lia, and Yeji joined in on the fun, each sharing mischievous grins and occasionally teasing you, which made you all laugh even harder.

The conversation flowed easily, and so did the wine, the scent of which mingled with the night air. Inhibitions slipped away as the night wore on, and with Hongjoong’s shoulder brushing against yours every now and then, butterflies rumbled in your stomach too hard to ignore.

You lost track of how many times Prince Wooyoung and Felix refilled your cup. The night turned into a beautiful blend of laughter and music. It all felt like a dream with Hongjoong beside you, his hand resting on yours, fingers grazing over your knuckles. It sent a thrill through you, though you were too lightheaded to think clearly under the influence of the wine.

Everything started spinning around, and you wanted to lay down, so you attempted to stand up in order to leave for your room.

“Y/n, sis, sit down. You will fall.” Felix tried to stop you, dragging you by your hand to make you sit.

“I want to lay down, Lix.” you said, using the nickname you only employed when you were too tipsy. “I want to go to my chambers.” You started to leave when Hongjoong stood up as well, smoothing his outfit.

“Don’t worry, Prince Felix. I will show her to her chambers safely. I am feeling sober.” he assured your twin before taking your hand with one while his other hand held your waist.

When you finally stumbled back to your room, memories of the night floated through your mind in fragments, but one memory felt clear, too vivid to ignore. In it, Hongjoong was close, his touch warm and possessive, as if he were holding onto something that already belonged to him. The memory left you feeling breathless, heat still lingering as you drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning, you awoke disoriented and drained, your head throbbing with ache, all thanks to the uncountable glasses of wine you had drunk. Something felt different, but you couldn’t put your finger on exactly what had happened. You rubbed your temples, trying to piece together the foggy memories of last night but miserably failed to do so.

As you slowly gathered yourself, a memory emerged in your mind with faint clarity. A dream that suddenly made you feel hot all over.

The dream of Hongjoong. A dream of his touch, his hot breath against your skin, the feeling of surrendering to him entirely. It had felt so real, the sensation still lingering as if it were more than just a dirty play of your imagination. Something felt lost, but you couldn’t figure out what while it ached all over your body.

But surely, it was just a dream... a wet dream at that… right… wasn’t it?

Pushing the thoughts away, you took a long bath and dressed up to join everyone for breakfast in the garden. Everyone else acted normally, and as you joined Felix and Bangchan at the table, you noticed how your brothers and the others exchanged careful glances. They wore pleasant smiles, but you could sense something unspoken between them, a cautiousness in their words around you.

Ryujin, usually one to joke with you about anything, seemed unusually silent and almost… reserved. It felt as if there was a secret flying around in the air, one that you weren’t aware of yet. Though you brushed it off as a drunk night of chaos, an unsettling feeling settled in your stomach.

Three more days passed, and the Phoenix Kingdom’s celebration continued in a grand crescendo, yet you couldn’t shake the sensation. Every day confirmed your doubt that everyone around you was hiding something.

You noticed the subtle glances Hongjoong gave you whenever you crossed paths, they were soft, with something deeper behind them...almost an apology. But he never approached you after that night, as if someone had put up a restraining order against him talking to you. He would excuse himself whenever you were in the vicinity, not sitting next to you while eating. His behavior had taken a 180, and all of this was hurting you while suspicion clouded your mind.

The others’ reactions only confirmed your suspicion that something had happened. Felix and Bangchan were more protective than usual, their attempts at behaving normally now filled with discomfort, as if they, too, were concealing a secret. The words they exchanged about you whenever someone talked about your marriage were extra cautious, stacking up with compliments and creating white lies about your skills and personality. Why were they doing this? You had no idea. But it did feel uncomfortable seeing your brothers act this way.

On the fifth evening of your visit, you wandered through the palace gardens, seeking some quiet alone time among the cherry blooms as you enjoyed the sunset, basking in its warm rays. The gardens had become your place of calm as your discomfort only grew from the unusual behavior of your friends and brothers. You let your mind drift over memories of that night.

And then, like a tidal wave crashing into you, the memories hit, sharp and extremely clear. Flashes of sensation returned: the warmth of Hongjoong’s hands against your skin, the intensity in his eyes, the feeling of giving yourself to him. Everything rushed back, overwhelming you with clarity.

It hadn’t been just a dream. You remembered now, each detail too vivid to deny as the truth sank in. That night, you had surrendered to him entirely, your virginity lost not in some wet and dirty dream but to the man who had held your hand as he returned you safely to your chambers, the man you had feelings for, which you had covered up as a simple crush in front of your brother Felix. You had lost your virginity to the man of your dreams.

~ the wild night ~

You stumbled, your balance wavering as you tried to navigate the dimly lit corridor. Hongjoong, partly sober himself, held you steady, guiding you to your chambers with a firm grip on your arm and waist. You felt a rush of warmth spread through you at his touch as you made your way back to your room, the air thick with the unspoken tension of the evening’s dance, light yet open moments, and his playful touches that almost pushed you to do something impulsive.

As you reached your chambers, a sudden surge of boldness overcame you. Without thinking, you pulled Hongjoong into a deep kiss. His surprise quickly turned into reciprocation, and before you knew it, he was pushing you gently back into the room, the door clicking shut behind you.

The moment the door clicked into place, an electric tension filled the air with unspoken desires. His eyes darkened, filled with a mix of surprise and hunger, as he pressed you against the cool wood. You could feel his warmth radiating against your body, every inch of you igniting under his touch.

As the kiss deepened, his hands tangled in your hair, holding you captive while his other hand slipped around your waist, pulling you closer. The world outside faded away, and all that remained was the taste of him—sweet, intoxicating, and utterly addictive. Your heart racing in sync with the wild pulse of the moment as each kiss ignited a fire within you, urging you to explore and surrender to the heat building between you.

He broke the kiss, breathless, and looked at you with a smirk. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for this ?” he murmured softly, brushing his lips along your jaw.

A smile tugged at your lips as you replied softly, “Maybe not as long as I have.”

His breath came in ragged gasps, and you could sense the same desire mirrored in his gaze and in his fiery urgency to have you right then and there.

The world outside faded away as the room began to fill with your soft moans as his lips traveled from yours to the soft skin of your neck. Each kiss sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that demanded more. The heat of the moment enveloped you both, and in a frenzy, you began to undress, fingers fumbling as clothes fell to the floor.

His hands moved hungrily over your body, exploring every curve as he peeled away the layers of your body. A low growl escaped his throat when he caught sight of your bare skin, his eyes darkening with desire. You felt bold, a rush of confidence coursing through you as you returned his passion with equal fire.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice rough with admiration.

You felt a flush creep up your cheeks, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze. “You make me feel that way.”

With a tender yet urgent motion, Hongjoong lifted you effortlessly, carrying you to the bed. He set you down gently, but the intensity of his gaze held a promise of something much more. As he worshipped your body with his lips kissing a path down your chest, igniting a fire with each kiss. When he reached your nipples, his mouth took your soft breast, swirling and teasing, drawing soft moans from your lips. You could feel the heat radiating between you, his eyes dark with desire, mirroring the need that made your core ache while dripping and begging to be attended.

“You taste as good as you look,” he murmured against your skin, his eyes lifting to meet yours, sparking with heat.

Your breath caught as you replied, “Then don’t stop.”

Every flick of his tongue sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, and you gasped, arching your back instinctively, wanting more. Hongjoong’s hands explored your sides, fingers tracing the delicate curve of your waist as he savored every inch of you. The air was thick with tension, your breaths mingling as he reveled in the power he held over you, and you could see the raw hunger in his eyes. Each suck on your sensitive buds made you ache for him, a desperate need building down south.

When his mouth found its way lower to your dripping core, the sensations became even more overwhelming. His fingers slipped between your thighs, teasing and prepping your core as his tongue danced expertly between your folds. Each flick and swirl sent electric jolts of pleasure coursing through your body,pushing you closer to the edge with every sensual lick.

He pulled back just for a moment, smirking up at you. “You’re perfect, you know that?” he whispered, his words fueling the fire within you.

Flushed and breathless, you looked down at him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Then don’t stop now.”

As he devoured you, his fingers plunged into your ass igniting a new wave of ecstasy. The combination of his warm mouth and skilled fingers moving intensely inside your asshole brought you closer to the brink, each thrust and swirl sending you spiraling into blissful oblivion. You whimpered beneath him, gasping for breath as waves of pleasure crashed over you, nobody had ever made you feel like this. Nothing ever had felt this good. The bliss that Hongjoong brought to you made you wonder in you are willing to loose your virginity to him.

The world around you began to blur, and all that existed was the electric connection between you and Hongjoong. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, he pulled back, his eyes dark with desire.

“I want you,” he murmured, his voice deep and gravelly as you nodded at him giving your approval. With that, he positioned himself at your entrance, his gaze locking onto yours. You felt a rush of vulnerability as he entered you, the realization hitting him that you were still a virgin. But the way you whimpered beneath him, your hands pulling him closer by the neck deeper into you, ignited a primal urge within him.

His signature smile remained as his eyes held yours, and you gripped his shoulders as his tip pushed through your walls, stretching you exquisitely as he finally bottomed out. He paused, letting you adjust to his length. You gasped, nodding for him to continue, and the way you begged beneath him, urging him to go deeper, drove him wild.

With your permission, Hongjoong began to move, each thrust slow but steady, reaching deep, hitting that perfect spot.. Your vision fogged up as stars shined while your body was consumed with pleasure as he drove into you, his pace intensifying, while his lips found yours again. With every thrust, he pushed you closer to the edge, and you could feel the climax building, waiting to erupt like a angry volcano.

“You’re incredible,” he whispered against your lips, his gaze filled with awe.

Hongjoong’s pace quickened, his thrusts growing deeper, each one hitting that just spot inside you.His lips pressed against yours, swallowing your gasps as the pressure built up fast, and each movement pushed you until you couldn’t hold back anymore. It was a blend of sweet agony and euphoric pleasure as he pounded into you with intense hunger and lust. You felt yourself losing your virginity to him, each thrust erasing any remnants of your innocence.

Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into him as the building tension finally snapped, as you melted around him, your body coming undone as waves of pleaure washed over you. You came hard around his cock , pleasure consuming you completely as you clenched around him, your body trembling in his arms. Hongjoong’s name slipped from your lips, mingling with the breathless moans he drew out of you, his hips never faltering as he rode you through the high.

The night became a blur of pleasure, each moment more intoxicating than the last. You were lost in a sea of sensation, your moans mingling with his deep groans as you surrendered completely to the wild passion of the night.

~ ~

You stumbled, catching yourself on a stone bench as the truth sank in. A mix of embarrassment, confusion, and something deeper washed over you. Now everything finally made sense—why everyone was behaving so cautiously around you. From your brothers to your best friend Ryujin, everyone.

Do they all know? Does Hongjoong remember the night? If so, why is he suddenly avoiding you? Do your brothers know? Is Emperor Seonghwa aware of it as well?

To be honest, you didn’t regret losing your virginity to Hongjoong, especially since you had dreamed of marrying him in the future. Given your kingdom’s close alliances, that possibility felt within reach. However, you couldn't shake the worry about what was running through Hongjoong’s mind.

“Y/N! Why are you here all alone?” Ryujin’s voice pulled you back to reality.

“Ryujin, I’ve done something terrible, something a princess should never indulge in,” you confessed, your heart racing. “I lost my virginity to Prince Hongjoong.”

“I know,” she replied softly, a hint of understanding in her eyes. “We all know, Y/N. The maid found you both in your chamber… naked.” Her hand gently caressed your back, offering comfort.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me? And why is Hongjoong avoiding me now? Does he regret that night?” You felt the weight of your confusion pressing down on you.

“We wanted to give you time to process everything. Emperor Seonghwa instructed Hongjoong to keep his distance until you remembered the night, so he wouldn’t risk hurting you. Plus, he wanted to protect the decade-long friendship with your brother,” she explained.

Suddenly, everything began to click into place.

With that information, you dashed through the corridors, your heart racing as you made your way to Felix's room. Throwing open the door, you found Emperor Seonghwa, Bangchan, Felix, your mom, and dad all deep in discussion. The atmosphere shifted as they turned to you, surprise washing over their faces.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Felix asked, concern knitting his brows together as he stood up to reach you.

You hesitated, the weight of your revelation heavy on your chest. “I, um… I need to tell you something important,” you stammered, your voice shaking. “I… I might have… lost my virginity to Prince Hongjoong.”

A profound silence enveloped the room, your confession hanging in the air. To your astonishment, they exchanged knowing glances before Seonghwa spoke.

“We already knew,” Seonghwa said gently, a hint of warmth in his eyes. “And we support you both. My brother wants to marry you, Princess Y/N.”

“What?” you gasped, your heart racing. “But… why? Is it out of pity? I don’t want him to feel obligated.”

Bangchan stepped forward, his expression earnest. “It’s not pity, Y/N. He genuinely cares for you. We all believe he’s serious about his feelings.”

Your mother chimed in, her voice soft yet reassuring. “This isn’t just a whim for him. Hongjoong sees a future with you, and he’s willing to stand by you through everything.”

“But what if it’s just because of the situation? I don’t want to be a burden.” you replied, uncertainty swirling inside.

“Y/N,” Felix said, his voice steady, “Hongjoong is a man of honor. He wouldn’t propose if he didn’t truly love you. Trust in that.”

“I second that, Princess. I wouldn’t have entertained this matter if my brother hadn’t specifically requested it. He does see a future with you as part of it, and we would love the Dragon Princess to become a part of the Phoenix family.” Seonghwa assured you with a warm smile.

You looked around the room, seeing the sincerity in their faces. The weight of your fears began to lift, replaced by a flicker of hope. “So...you all approve?”

“Absolutely,” your dad said with a nod. “We want you to be happy, and if Hongjoong makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”

Bangchan stepped forward, his expression serious. “Y/n, you need to meet him. He’s waiting for you in the cherry blossom garden. He has something important to say.”

You hesitated not fully sure if this was out of pity or he genuinely felt something for you.

After a moment of contemplation, you nodded and rushed outside. The cherry blossoms danced in the gentle breeze, their petals swirling around you as you approached the standing figure. Hongjoong stood under the trees, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and determination.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice soft yet steady. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Prince Hongjoong, before you say anything.If you want to marry me out of pity to save me from embarrassment, then I don’t want it!” You spoke with sureity, you loved him, but didn’t want to burden him with your responsibility.

“I would never Princess. You are not a burden to me. Infact, the exact opposite. You are a responsibility I’d happily bear. For the rest of my life." his hand carassed your hair, hoping to provide some assurance. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, unfolding it delicately. “I wrote something for you.”

With a deep breath, he recited the haiku he has written for you :

Under starlit skies,

My soul finds its home in you,

Unending, pure, true.

You felt warmth spread through your chest as his words wrapped around you, erasing the doubts clouding your mind. His gaze locked onto yours, the sincerity in his eyes unmistakable.

He stepped closer, taking your hands gently. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, his voice steady and gaze intense. “I would never propose out of pity. You’ve captivated me in a way no one else ever has. What we shared was real, and I want to honor that. I see a life with you and its not out of duty, but because I truly love you. So, will you marry me?”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as his confession touched the depths of your heart. The fear of embarrassment faded, replaced by the overwhelming realization of his love for you.

“Yes,” you whispered, heart swelling with love. “I accept your marriage proposal, Hongjoong.”

A radiant smile spread across his face as he pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you while cherry blossoms swirled around, creating a perfect backdrop for your future.

In that moment, beneath the blooming cherry blossoms, your destinies intertwined, sealing your love with a promise of forever.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

Disclaimer : This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

Tag List : @star-my | @pixie0627 | @astuteataraxy

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starfall-isle · 4 months ago

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Hello! My commissions are open again, slots are currently available indefinitely until I’m in a more stable financial situation or in need of a buffer!

Full info-

+ $10 USD Per additional character. Backgrounds are an extra $30.

-Comics are possible but very dependent on detail and length, please message me with details if you’re interested in an estimate!

-Please contact me through DMs or email [email protected] (if you have any questions about terms or pricing feel free to message!)

-Payment through PayPal.

-I’ll update with progress and ask for payment after I’ve gotten the go ahead on a concept sketch. I’m happy to make any changes or alterations as needed but unless I’ve made a mistake it might not be possible to make large changes on a piece that’s almost finished.

-Refunds can be given per request, but once again please be mindful towards how far along the artwork is. I will offer a full refund if I’m unable to complete a commission for any reason.

-Turnaround time can vary from a few weeks to around 1-2 months at the most, I will always try to have a piece finished as quickly as possible.

Terms-

-Do not resell or use my artwork for NFTS and AI training. Anything else you’d like to do with the finished work is alright, such as reposting, coloring (if applicable.) making physical copies (creating prints/charms/etc) through manufacturing companies is fine as long as it’s for personal use.

I will draw- Fanart, Original characters, Pairings (including OCxCanon and self shipping.) Anthros, Robots/Mechs, (dependent on detail.) Blood/gore, depictions of drug use, and Suggestive art.

No- Do not commission nsfw work from me if you’re under 18. I am not willing to draw suggestive artwork for children’s media. No proship & ships with non consenting IRL people (creators/professionals/etc.) Asking for anything promoting bigotry will get you blocked. If I don’t want to draw something for a piece media I’ll just let you know

#It’s nothing urgent but I’m now permanently unable to work a job and I apologize for relying on commissions right now #My bank account was shut down this earlier year for unexpected overdraft fees and we haven’t had a lot of groceries #So just I want to get myself on my feet again!#scopophobia #Commissions #Described

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lisutarid-a · 1 year ago

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K - DOG AND CAT - TRANSLATION

CHAPTER 3 Seeing a demon

Raws: kdogandcat

TUMBLR VERSION

#k project #k dog and cat #yatogami kuroh #neko #munakata reisi #fushimi saruhiko #zenjo goki #my translation #i found out that the manga hasn't been completely translated and felt the urge to remedy the injustice #since there are no raws for chapters 4&5 i'll translate them from scanlations from my native language so there might be minor deviations #im quite bad at sfx so pls correct me if you find anything weird #feel free to dm me if there are any mistakes ^^

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daretoassume · 5 months ago

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guide on how to actually love yourself

self-love is not all about self-care where you put your weekly masks on with your matcha drink. sure, taking care of yourself physically is included, but self-love is something from within. have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes? have you forgiven others for their mistakes? are you compassionate and kind to yourself, or do you curse at yourself when you do something wrong?

the thing about neglecting yourself is you will most likely prefer to seek other people's validation, attention, and love, consciously or unconsciously. you will find yourself "lonely" because you do not enjoy your own company. you will find yourself hungry 'in the wilderness' as you constantly seek something 'out there' when you have everything you need within you.

this "sp" of yours is not going to change your life

how many times can you look at yourself in the mirror and say 'i love you?' how do you feel about it? do you feel resistant because inside it just does not feel real? sure, you are manifesting your sp but have you already done your introspective/inner work before you manifest that love from other people? don’t you feel powerless/helpless when you 'successfully' manifested your sp only to find that you just lost your sense of self?

before you manifest any type of relationship, you must remember that the most important relationship is the relationship you have with yourself. how could you ever prioritize being in a relationship when you just neglected the most important thing? it is like sending a message to yourself that "everything around me is important except me."

i know some people just manifest their "sp" just because. they do not even care about the qualities; they will just "fix him" or "invent him." they are focused on that specific person, not the actual qualities that are right for them.

if you want a kind, respectful, ambitious, caring, sweet, romantic, helpful, generous, attractive kind of person, are you willing to work on those qualities first yourself before manifesting?

because if you have those qualities yourself then it would be so effortless for you to attract that kind of person to you. you are in the same vibration; you would meet people of the same vibration as you because you attract what you are.

how to actually love yourself

these are just some (personal) ways, to focus on but all of these helped me over the years of working towards myself. feel free to ask/dm me about it if you need help or if there are things you might want to add.

𓍯 shadow work

this is the most important thing to do when you are beginning to work on yourself. you have to feel, see, and examine everything that made you who you are today. all the pain, sorrow, guilt, shame, and resentment, you have to write all those down.

as far as i remember, every time i do shadow work, something incredible happens right after because i know to myself i have broken down a certain block that keeps me stagnant because of those weights that have been holding me down for years since i was a child.

and i say this not because you can experience the things happening right after the shadow work, i say this because in order to truly love yourself, you have to accept every shadow you have had.

𓍯 forgive everyone who did you wrong

and i mean everybody, since you were a baby. love yourself enough to make peace. you might not forgive them for them, but for yourself. this also should be included in your shadow work. if you have to put names one by one of everybody who did you wrong and why it made you feel that way, then do so (just do not send them).

𓍯 change your old beliefs that don't serve you at all

those negative beliefs are not yours to begin with, even if they are directed to you. do not steal those beliefs from others; let them be theirs. but accept that you have them. only then can you let them all go. identify those beliefs that are not serving you, let them go, then create new beliefs that will serve you better.

𓍯 take care of yourself physically

whether that be working out, eating healthy, or taking your vitamins, have a good sleeping schedule. you should always, always, always have time to take care of yourself. you literally live in your body until the end of time. choose to take care of it; be responsible for your own body.

𓍯 you are what you eat

and i am not just talking about what you eat, but also the content on social media, movies, songs, lyrics, and negative beliefs from other people that you are ingesting. if you have been consuming those negative things for years, what did it do to you? does listening to depressing songs make you feel good? it feels at home? why? because you are familiar with it already for years. the bad feels so good, it feels like home to you.

you wake up and immediately doomscroll, and see nothing but what? negative beliefs and opinions of other people?

why do you hate yourself?

unless of course you curated your feed into more positive/helpful content.

𓍯 clean your room

yes, that saying "your room is a reflection of your mind" is real. speaking from my own experience.

𓍯 self-reflect

how many times do you actually reflect on how you act towards others, yourself, and your ambitions in life? reflect on why you do what you do. reflect on the origin of your beliefs and if they are nonsensical, let them go. self-reflection keeps you grounded and gives you self-awareness, hence, you take more right actions in your daily life.

𓍯 have some self-respect and know your worth

you are not here to accept the disrespect of others and just think that you deserve it or continue to have connections with them. you should be on the pedestal, not him, not her, not that object, but you. do not accept something below your expectations. and do not even get to the point that you are about to lose your self-respect; flee that situation as soon as possible and never look back.

you are not here to plead, to apologize, or to wait for somebody who does not think about you at all.

how can you be okay with people disrespecting you and not you disrespecting yourself?

you have no idea how much power you have. think highly of yourself. nobody is going to do this for you. and even if they know your worth and you don't, you will just keep thinking lowly of yourself, speaking badly of yourself because you think you do not deserve to be worthy.

how can you be okay with that?

𓍯 follow your highest excitement

no matter how other people think how silly it is (physical reality is just a messenger of who you are),

if you know inside that you are meant for it, if you know that it is your highest excitement, do it and just continue to go for it, every day. and i am not suggesting playing video games all day and forget about your health and your loved ones. choose to do what you are passionate about. what are the things that you see yourself doing in a few years?

𓍯 educate yourself

read books, learn a hobby, learn something you are passionate about, learn how to socialize professionally. we all have these different kinds of sources that we can easily access. the thing is some people would rather spend their time on nonsensical things and doomscroll until they feel bad and sorry for themselves. be hungry for knowledge.

"do you know that most people that i meet spend their lives looking for occasions to be offended? they actually are out there hoping that they can find some reason to be offended, and there's no shortage of reasons, they're out there everywhere." ♰ dr. wayne dyer

𓍯 be disciplined

every single day, you have to make a choice to change for yourself, in a way that you prefer, of course.

it is easy to be successful these days, you just have to be willing to make a commitment. we can take all this knowledge, but the only way to have results is to take action and be disciplined to do them.

do you love yourself enough to change?

do you love yourself enough to make a difference in your reality? sure, there are beliefs that have been programmed into you since you were a baby, but it is always your responsibility to heal and change those beliefs. most likely, those people you surrounded yourself with since you were a baby did not know anything about loving themselves.

how can they teach something they do not know at all?

but we can never blame them or point fingers and say, 'you did this to me.' no. because we are all just victims of victims, until you decide to make a change for yourself.

"remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. try approving of yourself and see what happens." ♰ you can heal your life, louise hay

it is always your choice, it is your life anyway.

i always say that it is easier to match the vibration of what you want (or manifest, whatever you call it) if you love yourself and have a strong self-concept.

because first of all, you have your attention and energy all to yourself, thus, you attract all the things you want in the vibration you are in. second, you would not even think of your desires, you just know (inside) that you have them, and it is only a matter of time for the 3d to catch up.

in this way, there is no resistance at all.

how i worked on myself

speaking from the experience i have through the years, these are everything (that i remember) i did that worked on loving myself. it is not linear like healing, especially from the first few years of working on myself, but i can say this year it is easier to navigate. i still continue to educate myself, but i wanted to share my knowledge from the self-help and loa books i read and also lectures, seminars, and audiobooks i listened to. it gets easier over time, and i see life in a better and beautiful way.

i did it, what makes you different? all you have to do is make a choice for yourself.

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guiltyasdave · 5 months ago

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say you'll remember me

chapter 5 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: The aftermath. (Because I am dramatic)

word count: 1.9k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, somewhat unhealthy relationship dynamics, daddy issues (reader’s dad sucks big time), able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, slut shaming, pure angst I'M SORRY

a/n: co-written with my angel @joelscurls, i love you <3

i'm sorry that this took so long and also about the... contents of this. it's the last official chapter, but there will be an epilogue. if this is stressing you out and you'd feel more comfortable knowing if there will be a happy ending, please feel free to shoot me a dm <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for updates and find jess’ masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

“Where’s my what?”

David steps through the open bedroom door, pulling a washed out t-shirt over his head, tousling his hair even further than it was before. He’s not wearing pants, only the briefs that he so eagerly got out of less than an hour ago. He freezes at the scene in front of him.

You’re painfully aware of your own appearance, painfully aware of how obvious it is what you’re doing here. There’s zero chance of talking your way out of this one.

Your father is still standing in the doorway, jaw clenched impossibly tight, his gaze flickering between the two of you. You steal a glance at David, finding his eyes already on you. Regret is swimming in them, threatening to drown you both, and you know that he’s come to the same conclusion. You’re done for.

“What the fuck is this?”

It’s clipped, the quiet and cold tone that you’ve had a lifetime to get used to, but it’s tinged in anger, with an intensity that you’ve never heard before. The step you take back comes instinctively, following the desperate urge to get closer to the man behind you, the man who makes you feel safe, even now. A scowl forms on your father’s face as he clocks the movement.

“Jim–” David tries, arm halfway raised like he’s reaching out. To you or to your father, you’re not sure.

“I was in the area, thought I’d drop by, even though you weren’t answering your phone.” His chuckle is devoid of humor, his eyes flashing darkly. “Guess you were busy.”

“Dad, please…” You’re not sure what you even want to ask for. For him to hear you out, to understand?

He shakes his head, looking you up and down, disdain written clear over his face.

“Put some clothes on, Jesus Christ. I’m taking you home.”

You look at David again, desperate for just a hint of comfort, no matter how small. The promise that, somehow, everything will be fine. He gives you a curt nod towards the bedroom, no discernible emotion in his expression.

You’re uncomfortably aware of the expanse of your bare legs under his shirt as you walk back into the room, the place that has become your sanctuary over the past weeks.

“Jim, listen,” you hear David’s voice through the open door. “We just– we were talking if maybe I could get her an internship at the DIA, and it– it just happened. It was a one time thing, I swear. And a mistake. I–I’m so sorry.”

Lies. They seem to fall from his lips so easily, like a story that he had prepared for a long time. Maybe he did.

“I really don’t give a shit, Dave.”

You hear David sigh, can see his accompanying expression in your mind. The pursed lips, the firm jaw.

“I guess that’s fair.”

You don’t want to leave, don’t want the tense car ride, don’t want to be alone in your room and replay this over and over. You’re already circling through scenarios how this could have gone differently.

Why did you have to go open the door? Why didn’t you let David get it? Why did none of you notice his phone ringing? Why hadn’t you been more careful?

When you re-emerge from the room, neither of them has moved. Your father’s expression is unreadable, a stoic kind of coldness that doesn’t betray any feelings he might have.

You can’t help looking at David’s face when you pass him, searching for comfort, reassurance, anything. Some sign that he didn’t mean it when he said you and him had been a mistake. But he’s staring at the floor, his face like a mask.

You bite your lip, avoiding your father’s gaze when you step past him and down the stairwell. He’s gonna have more to say about this, you know it.

He’s fulfilling your expectation after a few minutes of silence, the tension in the car so thick that it feels like you’re getting crushed by the sheer weight of it.

“Always taking the easy route, aren’t you?! Rather just spread your legs than to put in some actual work, fucking hell…”

Your lips fall open at his words, a disbelieving huff escaping you.

“Dad, that’s not–”

“That’s exactly what it is,” he cuts you off, his grip tight on the steering wheel, venom spitting from his mouth. “I didn’t think I raised you to be a whore.”

You snap your mouth shut, staring straight ahead, tears brimming in your eyes. It had never even crossed your mind, the thought that you’d get anything like a job out of your… situation with David. It was never your motivation. You just– wanted him. Wanted him to like you.

It hurts, hurts more than you want to admit to yourself, to have your own father jump to that conclusion so quickly. To know that he has no issues seeing you like that, thinking of you like that.

“You embarrassed me,” he continues, even angrier than before. “Throwing yourself at the first man you see.”

Heat is rising in your cheeks. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood.

“I’m sorry.” It’s a whispered sound, shame ringing with the words. You don’t want to apologize, but it comes like an instinct, the only acceptable option that you have.

“You’re gonna stay home for the next two weeks, until your break is over. You’re gonna study and maybe, if you show me that it’s not a complete waste of money, I’ll keep paying for that goddamn school.”

Your head whips around to stare at his stony profile beside you. He’s grounding you?!

“Dad, I’m not a child!”

He shrugs, pulling up to the house.

“Well, since you’re acting as irresponsible as a child, I’m gonna treat you like one.”

He doesn’t stop you when you throw open the car door, fumbling with the house keys before you get the door open and stomp up to your room. Angry tears are blurring your vision, blood pounding loudly in your ears.

You’re not thinking straight, thumbs flying over your phone screen, a message about how this doesn’t mean anything, how you’ll figure this out, how much you still want him, flowing from your fingertips. David doesn’t respond.

You cry yourself to sleep that night, tossing and turning in your sheets, your dreams full of vague shapes and scenarios, replaying the day’s events over and over.

Your father checks on you the next morning, pointedly asking about your plans for the day, seemingly content with your mumbled, spiritless responses about revising coursework and working on applications for an internship.

“You can do better than the DIA, you realize that, right? Hardly any money to make there.”

You nod silently, forcing down the ragefit about how you don’t give a shit about the DIA, or about any job for that matter, that it never fucking was about that.

You’ve never had a particularly strong intention to actually follow your father’s orders and not leave the house, but it’s out of the window when your phone finally vibrates with a message from David, asking if it’s possible for you to meet him.

You’re out the door in a heartbeat, paying no mind to the security cameras recording you, to the consequences of this. It’s like you’re on autopilot, the stress of the past 24 hours erasing all rational thoughts from your mind.

David meets you at the door, a sight so painfully familiar and yet entirely new, because of the look on his face. Devoid of emotion, a mask of the man that you know, but not this version of him. He pulls you into an embrace, one that you desperately want to melt into, but his arms are stiff around you, coldness seeping into your bones despite the warmth of his body. You suppress a shiver when he doesn’t even lead you further into the apartment. You’re standing in the hallway, the short distance between you suddenly unbridgeable. From the corner of your eye, you notice his bedroom door. Firmly closed, once more.

“Sweetheart–” he begins, rubbing his neck with one hand. A nervous gesture, so vastly different from the self-assured, always in control David that you’re so intimately familiar with.

The rational part of you knows what this means, can almost predict the words that he’s gonna say next. It gives you a strange sense of déjà vu, reminds you of another time when you were in this apartment, so sure that he didn’t want you, that he was going to end this thing with you.

You were mistaken back then. You know that you’re not mistaken now, because the David in front of you is nothing like the one from back then. It’s glaringly obvious, the difference between them, the cold determination that you see in his eyes only right now.

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you? F–for real this time?”

Your voice barely wavers, your eyes don’t stray from his face. It’s like you’re walking through a dream, through a living nightmare, eerily aware of what’s gonna happen next but with no way to do anything about it.

Hurt flashes in his eyes, gritting his teeth, swallowing down a lump in his throat. He only manages a silent nod.

You feel your face crumbling, hot tears finally springing to your eyes. Your throat grows tight.

“Please… please don’t. Please.” You have to beg, have to at least try.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs, running a hand over his face. “I never should have– it was a mistake. You know that, right?”

You shake your head, eyes wide and silently pleading with him, unable to form words. He sighs, pain clear on his features as he cups your cheek.

“Baby, I– I wish things were different, but– you’re so young. You’ve still got your whole life– you don’t need me. I never should have allowed this. I’m sorry that I did.”

You choke out his name, the one that, unbeknownst to you, no one else uses. That he’ll never let anyone else use again.

“But I want you,” you whisper, stepping closer, pressing your face into the familiar crook of his neck, breathing in the comfort that the scent of him brings. He chuckles weakly, a humorless sound, gently moving out of your embrace, his large hands finding your shoulders instead, prompting you to look at him.

“You shouldn’t. I’m not– I’m not worth it. I won’t let you fuck up your life over this.”

Acceptance and denial are battling in your heart, the knowledge that you kind of always had but buried away deep down finally resurfacing. He isn’t yours to lose and he never was.

“I’ll miss you,” you whisper, tears silently streaming down your face. You need to ask, need to know if this ever meant as much to him as it did to you. “Will you miss me at all?” Will you even remember me?

His lips tilt up in a sad smile, and you could swear that his eyes are glassy as he gently presses his mouth against your forehead one last time.

“Always, sweetheart.”

.........................................please remember that i love you

#pedro pascal #dave york #dave york fanfiction #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x female reader #dave york x f!reader #pedrostories #janas fics #fic: wildest dreams

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