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yourkimjaejin · 11 months ago

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Getting All The Info

"So there's just one more thing you guys need to know about know that you're offically NCT members." Juno walks over to her bag and retrieves a book with a laminated cover. Tossing the book into Sion awaiting hands, Wish's leader turns it over to read the title.

"The NCT Codes??" Sion glances from the book to his fellow leader, confused but curious. His other members scoot closer, all of them closing in to get a good look at the book too.

"The NCT Codes. We didn't have a legit book up until a couple of months ago but the leaders and I figured it was better to give you guys a guide to how we operate." Juno took a seat in front of them and grabbed the book from Sion's hands.

"NCT is a group of 30 people with complex personalities. Sometimes its hard to share what's going on, you don't feel like talking and you want everyone to leave you alone for an hour or two. That's what the codes are for. It signals to every member what you want or need." Juno flipped to the the first page before handing the book back to the boys.

"You don't have to memorize all of them cause they're are alot. But the first three or four pages have the most relevant ones that you all should know." Instead of going back to practice, Juno took time to explain some of the codes the boys asked about

Code: Missing [inset item here]

"Between the thirty of us, there's a ton of places where items can get lost. This code just lets the members what to look out for. Make sure if you use it to send the code with a description or picture of the item."

Code: Eminem

"This is for anytime you wanna hang out with the members after a long day. This usually leads to a big movie night with a bunch of junk food so just be ready for that."

Code: Knights Of The Round Table

"A special code for the leaders and their second-in commands. This one if used frequently to go over scheduling so everyone knows where the others are. Sion-ah from now on, we'll both be attending these meetings together."

Code: Parental Supervision

"Whenever your doing something but you want one of the leaders there with you, use that code and whoever's free will show up. I want you all to remembers there's no shame in using this. A lot of us use Parental Supervision when we have to deal with managers or show runners we'd rather not be around alone.

Code: Sick Leave

"Self-explanatory but if any of you are sick, please tell us so we can help if we can.

Code: Alone Time

"Use this anytime you want a moment alone. There's also another code to use when your ready to be around people again."

Code: Wardrobe Malfunction

"If your unsure or uncomfortable in any wardrobe choices the stylists have made, Use this code. One of the leaders or a hyung will get everything sorted."

This kept going for a while, The boys asking about codes while Juno explained their uses. Some were funny, painting a portraits of the moments that lead to it creation. Others were more sobering. Those ones showed the new members what their older members had been through to get to the present.

"Ane, Did you write this last one." Sakuya flipped to the back of the book. The last six pages were blank except for some familiar handwriting . Sakuya could tell Juno's script anywhere. No matter what language she was writing in, it always looked pretty and polished. Ryo looked over his shoulder to see what was written.

"Code: Ane? What's this for?"

"Code: Ane is a NCT Wish only code. That's what the blank pages are for. Every group has their own book where they can write down codes specific to their sub-unit. These blank pages are for us and I figured as leader, I'd come up with the first one." Juno moved closer to the boys taking a seat between Ryo and Riku.

"Code: Ane is for any of you to use whenever you need me. You drop the code and I'm gonna come running as fast as I can." Even though they haven't been together long, Juno's top priority was reminding her boys they can trust her. That they could lean on her.

Trust was something Moxy fostered quickly with the members of AG. The tight knit relationship Moxy cultivated between the four women was why Juno looked up to her a leader. She wanted at create a space where the boys could rely on her but also joke and play around with her like little brothers do with their sisters.

And she planned on proving it every day.

"Alright, enough reading. Lets get back to practice." All the boys whined enjoying having a break but they still got back into their places. They had a debut to prepare for.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

MORE WISHxJuno CONTENT!!! I'm so excited for their debut. I'm considering getting the SMTown Tokyo beyond live so I can see their debut!!! We better get NASA as well.

Also, New Juno header!! I knew I had to redo it as soon as Wish was confirmed. I think I'm gonna keep the other one to use anytime I write about Juno with the Boss!Unit.

I decided to make the NCT Codes and official thing in this universe. At first it was something fun to throw in but now they feel more important to AG's universe. I'll probably weave in more codes as time goes on.

Anyways this has gotten long, I hope you have a great day and happy reading ~ Author Izzy

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

#NCT AG #NCT AG.Writing #NCT AG.Juno #nct female addition #nct female member #kpop addition #kpop!au #kpop!oc #kpop!addition #nct female oc #kpop female member

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ineffable-endearments · 8 months ago

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No Woman No Cry by Rita Marley with Hettie Jones

What could a memoir by Rita Marley, widow of Bob Marley, one of the most internationally renowned musicians of all time, possibly have to do with Good Omens? This is what I was wondering when I saw it on the "book club" list in Amazon's X-Ray feature, and what I was determined to find out by requesting it from the library.

[ID: A screen capture from Good Omens Season 2 Episode 2: several books on Aziraphale's bookshop shelf. From left to right, the legible titles are: I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith; No Woman, No Cry by Rita Marley; The Crow Road by Iain Banks; The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon; Catch-22 by Joseph Heller; Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez; Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell; The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler; The Bible; The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald; The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger; A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket; Herzog by Saul Bellow. There are a few other books, but their titles can't be seen in the screen capture. At the bottom of the frame are Gabriel's blurred fingers as he removes another book from the shelf. End ID]

Screen capture is from cap-that.com.

As a nonfiction narrative about real people, some of whom are still alive, No Woman No Cry is different from all the other books on the list. It's got intimate details about real people's lives and major historical events, and that is why I'm not going to make one-to-one comparisons to my favorite fictional story.

But I will write a summary and a reflection on it.

Warning for the summary and essay below about racism, colonialism, rape, and spousal abuse. Do feel free to chat or ask me about more specifics, if you're concerned about reading those subjects. Also, though it's a memoir rather than fiction, there are, of course, many spoilers.

So, first of all: I am in so very far over my head when it comes to discussing the deeper themes of this book. I grew up a middle-class white girl in Connecticut, USA in the 1990s and 2000s and experienced neither abuse nor fame in early adulthood; this memoir is written by a woman who grew up a dark-skinned black girl in deep poverty in Jamaica in the middle of the twentieth century, then experienced a dizzying combination of fame and abuse almost all at once. I can empathize with Rita's story as she tells it, but to analyze and extrapolate in any sort of insightful way? No, I don't think I can do that. No Woman No Cry deserves reflection, though. Please kindly bear with a little clumsiness.

I can see from online discussion that a lot of people come out of this book feeling shocked and dismayed to discover that Bob Marley did, indeed, abuse his wife, including an instance she described as "almost rape" when he simply would not accept a sexual rejection. After writing about all this and more, though, Rita Marley continues to miss, love, and admire Bob; per the online comments, many readers seem to have decided that she is misguided, afflicted, or outright delusional for feeling this way. Although I could not forgive Bob's abuses, I also cannot dismiss the positive meanings that Rita has taken from her time with Bob. It's her story, not mine, and she already has her own way of synthesizing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Summary

No Woman No Cry starts with Rita Marley recalling Bob Marley's death.

But then I started to cry and said, "Bob, please, don't leave me." And he looked up and said, "Leave you, go where? What are you crying for? Forget crying, Rita. Just keep singing. Sing! Sing!" So I kept singing, and then I realized, wow, that's exactly what the song was saying: "I will never leave you, wherever you are I will be..."

Rita Marley's full maiden name was Alfarita Constantia Anderson, but she went by Rita her whole life. Her parents separated, as was common, and she lived with her beloved Aunty Viola for much of her youth. Rita was bullied by her classmates for her dark skin; though most Jamaicans are people of color, eurocentric beauty standards brought in by colonialism still led to a strong bias toward lighter skin.

Rita met Bob Marley in Trench Town when they were both getting into music; Rita was in a group called The Soulettes, and Bob was in a group called The Wailers with his friends Peter and Bunny. They bonded over music. They also bonded over Bob's generosity with Aunty and taking care of Rita's child, as Rita was a single mother at the time and Bob was nurturing toward her baby daughter, Sharon. Interestingly, Rita stated she initially got involved in Bob's personal life because she felt she wanted to take care of him, as he didn't have anywhere comfortable to live.

Bob got Rita interested in Rastafari, which connected with her spiritually and helped her gain confidence in her beauty and worth as a black woman. Rita gives Bob a great deal of credit throughout the narrative for helping her discover herself.

Rita and Bob had very little income for the early part of their marriage. They had to stay in a single room at Aunty's house, and although they loved Aunty, it was just too crowded, especially since Aunty and Rita's brother did not approve of all of their decisions. They were judgmental of Rastafari, for example, which had no respect in Jamaica. (Although there is still bias against Rastafarians today, things are a bit better.)

Over the next several years, Rita and Bob moved a few times while continuing to work on Bob's music; they had homes in Nine Mile and then again in Kingston. Rita describes the two of them getting into "love fights" and then making up; they would fight "like children," as she put it, although she was left with physical injuries at times. Aunty warned Rita against staying with a spouse who would hit her. Rita, however, didn't want to leave, partly out of love and partly because she felt that maintaining the marriage was a duty. She also believed she and Bob would always actively choose to be friends, no matter what happened. Bob made up with both Rita and Aunty.

Rita considered different career paths, which included some music, but also the possibility of nursing. On the other hand, Bob devoted himself entirely to music, except for a short time working in the United States. Both Bob and Rita worked in the United States at different times. Neither of them liked it. During Rita's stay in the US, she hated being away from home and felt like she was growing apart from Bob. When Rita got back to Jamaica, she discovered that two other women were pregnant with Bob's children. Though she was angry, Rita decided that because of her spirituality and her continued love, she would remain married to Bob, but would focus on taking care of herself and the children. By now, the family had three children: Shannon (who Rita had before meeting Bob and who Bob formally adopted), Cedella, and David Nesta (better known as Ziggy).

This whole time, Bob had been working on music, with Rita helping when she wasn't away in the US. They had been establishing relationships with studios and selling records, and were seeing some success.

Bob and the Wailers' new producer gave them a house as a space to work and make music. That house was at 56 Hope Road in Kingston, and it's still a famous site today. By the time they got that house, Bob was entirely the one performing with the Wailers, while Rita was mostly taking care of the children. Because of the constant activity from strangers, business dealings, and womanizing that went on at Hope Road, Rita did not want to raise her children there, and she decided to get a government-sponsored house in Bull Bay, another city.

Bob ultimately bought the house in Bull Bay at Rita's request. Rita worked hard on developing her independence while she was raising the children there; she learned to drive and garden, and the garden yielded many fruits and vegetables. Aunty and other friends helped out, too.

Bob financially supported Rita and the children. He divided his time between the house in Bull Bay, the house at 56 Hope Road in Kingston, and tours. Rita and Bob's relationship seemed to be somewhat fluid here; on one hand, Rita describes herself as a "friend" or "sister," and she strongly contemplated divorce. But she also describes how she got a basement studio at the Bull Bay home, and how she and Bob would go down there to make out sometimes, or, more often, to make music. Sometimes, they'd even have little family "events" in that basement studio wherein the children, who were now a bit older and had strong interests in music themselves, could put on imaginary little shows for fun.

Although Bob constantly had girlfriends, he got inordinately jealous of Rita's friend and neighbor, Owen Stewart, known as Tacky. Tacky was not initially a romantic interest. However, Bob assumed he was. One night, Rita informed Bob that she didn't want to have sex anymore because of his constant philandering; she wanted to take a stand. But he was absolutely insistent, arguing that he should be able to have sex with her because she was his wife, until she finally went along with him. Rita comments, "I was almost raped that night."

It sounds like it was rape to me. And Rita got pregnant from it. She and Bob now had another son, Stephen.

Rita and Tacky had by then started having a sexual relationship, which Bob tried to confront Tacky about. One of Bob's girlfriends just happened to appear right while he was talking to Tacky, which was a massive embarrassment and which Tacky correctly used to point out Bob's hypocrisy. Bob stopped arguing, and Rita continued her relationship with Tacky. Rita also had a child with Tacky, a daughter named Stephanie, who Bob adopted.

Life, incredibly, moved on, and Rita suggested to Bob that she should start a juice bar with some of her produce at his Hope Road studio location. Bob agreed, and Rita started the stand that eventually became the Queen of Sheba restaurant. Everyone loved her organic food; Rita comments that Bob was her best customer and PR man.

While running the Queen of Sheba restaurant, Rita reconnected with some friends: Minnie, Judy, and Marcia. Minnie helped a great deal with the restaurant. Rita, Minnie, and Judy wanted to start a Rastafarian women's organization and school for Rastafarian children, while Rita, Judy, and Marcia agreed to sing together at a club. It was Rita's first public performance in a long time.

Right after this, The Wailers broke up. Specifically, Bob signed on again with the same record label and would still work with new singers as "Bob Marley and the Wailers," but the other Wailers, Peter and Bunny, left. They weren't happy with the way the label was headlining Bob. Bob felt deeply hurt by the group's dissolution, but he asked Rita, Marcia, and Judy to come sing backup with him in the studio and on tour.

Bob was paying Rita, as well as Marcia and Judy. But at the same time, Rita got to make music with Bob again, and she loved that. She was very happy to go on tour with him, partly out of a desire to spend time together again - through all the horrible things that had happened, they still loved each other and wanted to spend time together. Rita was also happy to be working on her own musical career. Rita, Marcia, and Judy had named their trio the I-Three, and this would be solid work for all of them.

Rita insisted on getting to be her own separate person on tour, a member of the I-Three instead of Mrs. Marley. She writes about wanting to continue looking after Bob on the road - ensuring his laundry was done and meals were eaten, for example. But otherwise, she stated, she was free to do whatever she wanted on the road in a way she couldn't be at home and wouldn't have been if she were expected to be acting as Mrs. Marley the whole entire time. She also, however, writes about missing her children and her home dearly.

Again, Bob and Rita's relationship continued to seem very fluid. Bob would get jealous if he thought other men were involved with Rita; there was even an incident when he came into her hotel room, started shouting when he saw a male friend in there, lifted Rita up off the bed, and dropped her back on the bed. But he also continued to have affairs and children with other women. Rita writes that she wasn't threatened by many of these women because there were so many of them and they didn't represent serious relationships. Rita also felt it was easier to just take Bob's children by other women into her home, and she often had friendships with their mothers. There were a few women who seemed serious enough for Rita to be hurt by their presence, but over and over again, she chose not to worry about it, because she viewed her role as more important.

Despite the difficulties of dealing with Bob's womanizing and being away from home, Rita chose to stay on tour for all those years because she was instrumental in holding together "such a good thing" - Bob's musical tours with the I-Three - and she sensed it was important to people all over the world. She also loved the sense of individual development she got from that time. Rita comments:

Take your troubles to the Lord and not to the people, I'd tell myself. So I did just that---I prayed. And I gave my part, I gave it honestly. I gave my part, from the heart, and I was paid for it. Paid every week, just like everybody else. So I could maintain myself, not just physically, but with a lot of spirit. And on good days, even though I wasn't altogether happy, I felt so independent, thinking, well, now I can do whatever I want, now I can buy clothes and shoes that I like, I can be---whew---just what I wanna be!

During the seven years they were touring (interspersed with time at home in Jamaica), Bob and Rita did have their arguments and fights, but they overall got along well and were still in love, so they solidified their relationship "as man and wife" again.

However, Rita still didn't feel individuated in the way she wanted to, so she signed with a record company named Hansa Music. Bob did not like this because he wanted to be the one to give Rita her big break; he wanted to keep the music in the family. He felt like white people (Hansa Music was a French company) were taking Rita away. But Rita and the record company were persistent, and he finally agreed to cooperate. Rita started working on her own individual music.

Bob had a political presence - people had come to think of him as "the voice of the people," and youth from the ghetto tended to look to him for help. People would come to Hope Road looking for favors and financial help, with which Bob was generous. But a lot of the people looking for help were mixed up with crime. He became anxious, even paranoid, as people sought help with matters that could endanger Bob and the family - people asking to stay at Hope Road to avoid gang violence, for example.

Eventually, the government asked Bob to do a peace concert called "Smile Jamaica" to encourage peace in the population before an election. Bob agreed, because he believed in peace.

Just after a rehearsal shortly before the concert, Bob and Rita were shot in an assassination attempt; Rita was shot in the head but the bullet didn't cause a fatal wound because of her thick dreadlocks, and Bob was grazed across the chest and shot in the elbow, where the bullet remained for the rest of his life.

Bob insisted on doing the concert anyway, with the bullet in his arm. Rita was up there with him, even though they hadn't been able to remove the bullet from her head yet, either.

After the assassination attempt, the shaken family spent some time in the Bahamas, in Nassau. Bob then went "into exile" in England, where he reconnected with one of his girlfriends. Rita and the children went back to Jamaica for school, but no longer felt safe in their Bull Bay home, so Bob bought a three-sister (three-family) house for them in Kingston. Rita and Bob continued to talk almost every day by telephone.

The political situation didn't lighten up - Bob's influence was being tracked in the United States, and this included intelligence agencies monitoring his mail - but he decided to return to Jamaica after about half a year because he missed his home. However, Bob returned to increased political activity, including more people asking for dangerous favors; again, gang members asked to stay in his home and wanted to act as his personal security.

Before what would be their last tour, Rita wanted to get a different house for the children. She and Bob disagreed on the house; Rita wanted a smaller but beautiful house on a hill overlooking Kingston, while Bob had plans to build a mansion he could settle into with all of his children and work on his music. Rita realized Bob was planning much more for himself and the children than for her, even though he also made a bunch of promises about being a better father, friend, and husband after this tour. He was planning to settle down. Rita told him that was nice, but still decided to put her advance from the tour toward the house on the hill.

During this next tour, Bob injured one of his big toes twice, first in 1975 - after which point it never fully healed because Bob would not give it a rest - and then again in 1977, after which the nail fell out and he developed malignant melanoma. He was advised to have the toe amputated. However, he refused, believing he couldn't perform without his big toe, that audiences wouldn't want to see that, and he was told the doctors were lying. He believed the doctors were lying.

They proceeded with the tour. Bob was extremely famous at this point, and Rita felt she was losing him; other people controlled all his time and influenced his every decision, and Bob felt obligated to keep up with all the demands, even at the expense of his own health. Eventually, Bob collapsed and was taken to the hospital, at which point he discovered his cancer had spread to his brain and he had only months to live. Because the diagnosis was terminal, Bob's managers were planning to keep him touring until he died, but Rita was outraged about this and called everyone she knew to insist on bringing the tour to a stop.

Bob did get cancer treatment, first in the US and then with a specialist in Germany. The German doctor, Dr. Josef Issels, managed to keep Bob alive six months longer than the other doctors believed was possible; however, he soon died very young, at the age of 36.

Rita was devastated. As they were both young, Bob's death was the first major loss Rita had experienced.

Moreover, Rita was immediately thrown into managing a ton of issues that had never been planned for. Rita was betrayed and taken advantage of by people who had been involved in managing Bob's finances, and she even ended up on trial because they accused her of misusing Bob's money after his death. However, everything Rita had used the estate's money for was legitimate. She acted according to the financial advice of his manager, and took care of the children, and paid for his funeral, and paid legal fees. Bob also simply was not as wealthy as people believed; his legacy has generated a lot of money over decades, indeed, but at the time of his death, he wasn't inordinately wealthy, or he wouldn't have felt so much pressure to do all that touring.

Summing up their relationship after Bob's death, Rita writes:

I thought Bob did the greatest thing by leading me to find myself. ... 'You are what you are, you are black and you are beautiful.' And I know there are many, many others who learned that same lesson from him.

Rita went on to carry Bob's legacy forward, keeping his music alive. In 2000, Time magazine awarded the "Song of the Century" title to Bob's song "One Love" and the "Album of the Century" title to Bob's album "Exodus." Bob's children now have musical careers, which Rita has nurtured.

Rita was able to set Aunty up, eventually, with everything she wanted, and Rita's father came home to spend time with his many grandchildren. Eventually they both passed away, and as keenly as she felt the losses, Rita was able to lean on her friends. Rita also had one more daughter named Serita with Tacky.

Over the past few decades, Rita has continued to pursue her dreams and live an incredibly active life. She has continued to promote Bob's music, but also moved to Ghana and started a nonprofit called The Rita Marley Foundation, caring for infants and the elderly. She has done a great deal of humanitarian work.

Worth noting that Rita structured this book so it ended with the same idea with which it started:

So I started to sing, as he told me to do, and just as he said it would be, everything was all right. Rastafari!

The Big Picture

The way I see it, a big part of No Woman No Cry is about identity and individual will. The concept of identity is in the ways we're defined by our connections, from intimate connections to large-scale social contexts, and in the ways we're defined by our own choices. It hit me with almost every chapter how strong Rita's individual will was while at the same time being interconnected and interdependent with so many other people in her life, and, of course, being shaped by her race and Jamaica's status as a colonized nation until 1962.

This book is also a study in the complexity of human connections - particularly, in how it is possible to meld hopes and dreams with another person's, and to unreservedly lean on other people, without losing one's sense of self. Rita and Bob chose to marry because they had mutual dreams; Rita chose to stay with Bob, though, because of the way she personally wanted to live. And she simultaneously pushed for her independence, which in the end was the thing that allowed her to do so much of her own humanitarian work and carry on Bob's legacy, too.

This pattern, wherein individual will and relationship connections mutually strengthened each other, carried out with all of Rita's close friends and loved ones. I'm thinking especially of Aunty - Rita and Aunty clashed a great deal in Rita's youth, and yet, each valued their family connection as much as their own individual will. They stuck together despite the friction; Aunty helped raise the children, and later, Rita was able to provide Aunty with a comfortable life. That in turn was possible only because of Rita's insistence on making her own choices while Aunty insisted on continuing to provide support.

Hand-in-hand with the concept of identity is memory. This is, after all, a memoir. Its very purpose is to solidify memories, to put them in the form of a book and to help other people understand Rita's life with Bob. When Rita explains her motivations in writing, she's giving her individual will, her choices, a material presence in the world. Although I don't believe Rita comments on this in the book, I'm imagining that the act of putting her memoir in writing helps solidify her power over the narrative of her life; by writing out our stories and the thoughts that inform them, we can illuminate the power our own choices have.

Another theme running strong throughout No Woman No Cry is faith. In high contrast to the themes of The Crow Road, Rita Marley's faith doesn't hold her back; it gives her strength and connects her to others. "Faith" for Rita means Rastafari. It helped her connect with her inherent worth as a black woman, and it helped her see her own success as part of a better world overall. Rita shores up her faith against the oppressive, authoritarian nature of colonialism. For Rita, faith isn't something that subdues her with dreams of another world; it's something that moves her to act in this one.

The book opens and closes with assurances that Rita should just keep moving forward (singing, in her case) and everything will be all right. That's also faith - the belief that she will succeed if she just presses forward, even if she's not sure how that can happen. Her spirituality allows her to tap into this, but it isn't specific to a particular belief system. It's just about being willing to believe, time and time again, that one foot in front of the other will ultimately lead somewhere good.

Altogether, I believe No Woman No Cry was on the Good Omens book club list because No Woman No Cry centers the depth of the human experience: the things that make us who we are, the ways we connect with other people, and how we can figure out where we belong.

#good omens book club #no woman no cry #rita marley

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hecatesbroom · 9 months ago

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Ooh, I was hoping you'd reblog the ask game!! I'd like to ask purple (I always enjoy your music recs!) and black! And also brown, if you'd like to share, for any fic you want!

Thank you so much!! Ask games always are a lot of fun, aren't they?

💜 Purple: Name one song you're listening to while writing your next/current fanfic. How or why does it help the writing process?

I haven't written to music in a while, actually! (At least, not for my current WIPs) but the title for one of them is based on Somethin' Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra. Come to think of it I should listen to it again, because the vibes are perfect for the fic it's related to.

I also have a huge (9 hour) playlist with some of my favourite classical music that I listen to if I want to set the mood for writing in general :)

Music helps me come up with ideas when I'm not writing (music is a great help in allowing me to focus on one thought for an extended amount of time, because usually I have to be actively engaging in a thought -- like writing it down -- to be able to focus on it). When I am writing, it helps set the mood! And occasionally helps keep the flow going.

🖤 Black: Do you think about your story when you're not physically writing it? Does it help with plotting scenes, character arcs, etc.?

Yup! Usually not for very long (I'm very easily distracted). When I do think of them for a longer amount of time, I'm usually in the shower, trying to sleep, or taking a walk. It helps a lot! I think I've come up with some of my best story ideas late at night especially.

🤎 Brown: How did you decide to write (or why are you writing) a certain fanfic? (Asker, feel free to choose a specific story you're curious about. You can also let the answerer choose the story.)

Oo okay, so generally speaking, a wip starts when a feeling and an image (or maybe a line) pop into my mind, and I rush to capture it in words. If the feeling persists, I keep writing the story -- because that means the inspiration keeps coming too!

So I guess the bottom line is: if I feel strongly enough about something, I'll write it! This can be inspired by an episode (my ficlets, for example) or a mutual's post, because you all have brilliant ideas!! (the Grease AU is a perfect example here, as we both know haha)

There's also the episode-inspired fics that are less of a direct exploration, but that did find its roots in an episode. Sleeping with a woman, for example, which I thought of after watching "Isn't it Romantic" but isn't a direct exploration of a canon scene.

Then there's also the "I can't believe no one wrote this yet" fics (my primary motivation for my Maude fic, it's still the same old story) and the ones inspired by real life! I have one of those in the works right now, but I won't tell what inspired it just yet, because that'd mean spoiling the whole premise ;)

Thank you so much!! <3 I had a great time answering these :)

#the 'based on real life' is a new thing for me kicked off by the golden girls!!#most of the fandoms i wrote for were pretty heavily sci-fi/fantasy #and those usually don't allow me to play around with too many real life-inspired ideas haha #anyway thank you again!! i always love talking about writing :)#ask #ask game #my writing #alys.txt

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mothhawk-san · 8 months ago

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Hi! I'm Mothhawk. Also called Soosh, Sooshki, Hokum-

I ramble about worldbuilding here, and may post characters and descriptions on occasion. If you're curious about anything, please feel free to drop me a message!

My worldbuilding project is titled, The Records of the Murin-Ryn.

The Murin-Ryn is the name of this world; In it's entirety. From the farthest star in the heavens, to the lowest, blackest depths of the deepest chasms in the Earth and under the Seas- All is the Murin-Ryn.

Enclosed in this project are records of the existence of this world of curious creatures and characters- And all the flora and fauna, and history and cultures of their many lands. I'm a bit of a writer, I'm a bit of an artist, and I'm a bit of a programmer, but I'm certainly not adept at any of them. Still, I hope you'll find some enjoyment from the things I make and share here.

Short FAQ: How old are you? Pronouns?

My age is in my blog description- And call me by whatever you like, I am who I am.

What's your pfp?

A creature of the Murin-Ryn; Amiculus! He's a little bird, and I love him dearly. He's very silly, and very much a creature.

I'd like to use your art. Can I?

I'd prefer if you did not- I am open to suggestions, and I often doodle for folks if they ask nicely. I don't consider my stuff good enough to take commissions off of, but I am more than happy to doodle an idea or a character if I like the idea, and have the time! (I am terrible with perspective and proportioning things correctly; This becomes evident when I draw from memory or start drawing human bodies). But to answer the question, my art I post here is specific to this project; You are more than free to reblog/share, but please do not repost any of it for anything, unless you get explicit permission from me. If you would like to "use" it for something, please let me know and ask!

AI art?

Absolutely not. Do not use my stuff in data models, training, or anything of the sort. I do not post AI art, and I certainly hope I do not reblog any AI art, either.

#worldbuilding #writing #intro post #Mothhawk squeaks #creature design

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angeltism · 1 year ago

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HEHEH IM HONORED TO HAVE BEEN GIVEN SUCH A TITLE... i honestly also wanna keep talking with you.. seeing you flustered makes me really happy im gonna be honest :3 its a talent of mine to be really smooth with words you see but only specifically for These situations HDJAHRJSJR if you wanna know more about me feel free to just. ask whatever questions you have! im a huge fan of answering questions honestly so GO!!! GO AND ASK EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING YOU WANT!!! you can also not worry about the whole me being kinda nervous of you knowing who i actually am thing because im 100% certain nothing i answer will give you many leads. sorry i like teasing with this kind of thing i have never had the opportunity of doing it HSHSJSHJW good its already 2 am there? FIRST LOVEY ANON FACT i live one whole hour behind you... you are a time traveler.. woah...

- 💌 anon

twirling my hair ehehe omg yay I definitely have like . . . many questions I'm curious 2 ask uu !!! they'll purrobably be under a read more at the end of this post so this doesn't become 2827472 lines long for my mewtuals n followers sake fufu,, and lol no worried abt the "teasing" bit , I get nawt wanting to tell me who uu are just yet , this can be kinda fun , being able to speak with me anonymously and for me to have the mystery of nawt knowing who I'm speaking to so I suppose I understand :3 also woahh . thatmeans uu stayed up until 1-2am at least last night tsk tsk (ignore that I stayed up until 2:51am uu need sleep my dear !!)

questions under the cut . . . again just for the sake of nawt having this be 1000ft long bc they'll be in a list ig

ok so feel free to answer any of these or ignore some or whatever if uu would like . . . no pressure to answer all of em ! ♡

Do you have any fandoms you're really into? Especially any in common with me, so purrhaps we could chat about em . . . ? fufufu idk also just in general to know what uu like :3

Pronouns? I'm assuming at least they/them is okie because that's what I've been using for uu so far and I imagine uu would have said somethin if nawt but if there's something uu prefer, even like, nounself or something, or want me to alternate I wanna know !!

Music taste? This is an opportunity for uu to tell me specific artists or songs if uu want . . . I'm soso curious :0

Favorite color? This is a little basic idk but I think it'd be nice to know :3

How long have uu . . . liked me . . . . gasp !! Also like Why I mean I suppose I am awesome and the 2nd greatest in the whole universe but nawt many really . have liked me in that way in a while I suppose ? Idk just curious if there's anything specific about me that uu especially like ehehe ~ ^_^

And finally . . . favorite foods ? Something savory and something sweet , if sweets are somethin uu like ! :D

#➳ the fool's mail box #➳ sender; 💌 anon

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snowblossomreads · 1 year ago

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OMG YES chinese hot pot!!😋🤤🤤🤤

now you got me curious what’s their go to stuff to put in or make for their hot pot…

for me mushrooms egg drop porridge with drizzle of sesame garlic oil & scallion on top is a must by the end of the meal!(from the reduced leftover broth full of flavor) EVERYONE HAVE TO TRY THIS

and one last question(s) about food ask for Aimee and Sinclair!

do they have any controversial food combination or food opinion? do they ever bicker about it or like found it endearing (or endearingly bicker for fun) …sinclair strike me as the type who dip oreos in orange juice 😂

also,

PEAR IS SUPERIOR THAN APPLE as a fruit just sayin’🤪 apple is supposed to be an ingredient instead of a fruit to eat it by itself and ppl are so wrong for hating on mint choco ice cream bc of the toothpaste taste…obv it’s mint flavored and perhaps they only got those poorly executed blue chocochip monstrosity instead of the real good thing. they have to try with the ones where they got the chocolate ice cream as the base with mint swirl/mint syrup, it’s supposed to be creamy chocolatey goodness with refreshing aftertaste from mint

your turn! lmao (no pressure tho)

Omg everyone listen to anon right now because they are right. If you're looking for something nice savory and warm this is it!! My stomach is like feed me rn 🤣🤣 !

I think the couples go two is very traditional (ur thin beef / pork, and maybe some seafood, chinese spinach, napa, rice noodles etc etc) like as long as it's food and it tastes good Sinclair will eat and enjoy it so he's like yeah put whatever down LOL. He does really like fish tofu he finds out later because he was like it doesn't taste like fish at all and flavor! Amiee's the same, though she likes to make sure there are a variety of mushrooms specifically ones like oyster mushrooms because she likes the texture of i when it's cooked well. (gosh i want hotpot rn stomach shhh please it's almost midnight)

Neither of them are very picky eaters (usually) so it works out lol.

SCREAMS OREO AND ORANGE JUICE. OMfg i had to google this and as i sit and ponder im like....now i want to try it bc what ?? i wonder if it tastes like orange chocolate... LOL i digress controversial food option HMM

🤣okay this one isn't a controversial food pairing or opinion but more of a funny thing then anything. And it's Sinclair is one of those people who probably has like one of those fancy celebration cakes on hand at his house icing and all. And he will eat at it and then buy another just because.

It throws Amiee completely off one day because she's like is it's someones birthday are we celebrating something????? And he's just like it's someone's bday every day and we should celebrate each day we are here while proceeding to cut himself a slice.

Amiee: 🤨🤷‍♀️😂

He offers her some of course and she'll sometimes have a small sliver while giving him most of the icing.

Also are we the same bc i love mint chocolate chip it's like top tier?? Mint chocolate is amazing and i will die on this hill. BUT i have actually had some that i was like yeah if someone ate it they would hate it LOL.

And while i like apples (get that red delicious out my face fuji and gala apples only) pears are just superior some how....how is that a thing what??

Anyways those are my thoughts and i'm happy to blab more about these two idiots so feel free to stop by dear anon!!! 😌❤ shall give you the title foodie anon (i hope that's okay)

#amiee x sinclair #(yeah i'm putting amiees name first)#she's my baby #sinclair doesn't mind either he puts her first to LOLOL #anon ask #come back any time anon!!!#foodie anon (tentatively)

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heyyyharry · 4 years ago

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Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

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firebuug · 2 years ago

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Hi!!! For my oc ask meme, may I offer you (apologies in advance for the many questions wahahaha):

3, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 20, 24 (obligatory), 25, 26 and 31 for... well, that's a lot of questions so ummmm shit go with whoever inspires you but I'll specifically ask for Julian, Eva, Skuggy and Buggy!! (and Farrow if you feel so inclined hehe) again, feel free to pick and choose who you answer each question with and also feel free to skip any bc this is a LOT!! i am sorry i am curious

hi. i am here to answer them All. you heard it. full oc bible right here right now. ill do it using whoever racks my brain for the question or all of them if i feel like it. i am sorry in advance for the length of this but it is very fun THANK YOU

3. Their playlist. Drop their playlist and include specific lyrics from each song you consider to be the most fitting.

i have playlists for almost every oc that i can vibe check in my brain. here. warning, they're all on spotify, sorry. julian, eva, skuggy, buggy, and farrow ! i'll share lyrics from one song that reminds me of them on there each!

jules: "Fate gave me a chance, now a couple chances, Hands always on the wheel, I thought I really had this This is a struggle, a struggle of survival Life is not a toy, and I should know this spiral Don't fall asleep I am not invincible Could've been worse, There could've been a death toll" - AMPM Truck by The Garden

eva: "Beat machines and impossibly fast vertical lyrics An expression with no physicality, whose heart is it going to capture? I ripped it off, that rhyme and flow, I didn't need it after all! All that was left was the empty voice I whittled down for your sake 'Embrace death!!!!!' Beat machines and impossibly fast vertical lyrics Music that doesn't create perfection, showing its existence through madness Feelings bubbling up with boiling point bugs, this tune feels like it's about to fall apart A song born just to play its rhythm" - MACHINEGUN POEM DOLL by cosMo@/BousouP

skuggy: "But you're a killer and I'm your best friend Think it's unfair, your situation You say I'm changing Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me, driving me insane" - Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms (i havent shifted into skuggy mode for so long i had to dig so deep for this shit)

buggy: i dont wanna do buggy's his playlist is old and redundant </3 but ummmmm jsut look at the title of this fire by franz ferdinand and guess hwat it's about. "oh how i burn for you" headass

farrow: "I didn't have a clue That I would lose! Oh I would lose, Between my left and right, I'd one day have to choose You're not like me, I'm not like you. I'm not who these things happen to And that's exactly what you say before it catches up to you Before you play with knives and find yourself in two" - BAD LUCK! by Jhariah

7. In your opinion, do you think if they were real you would be friends with them or not?

i would love to be friends with jules and skuggy. eva would be mean to me and farrow is absolutely abhorrent. if i met buggy irl i would not trust him im sorry .

8. ^ Relating to above question, do they consider themself easy to get along with, and is that actually true?

jules thinks he's pretty good at making friends, and he's good at going up to people and talking to them, but he tends to come off too strong and scare people off ksjdfs....being from the backstreets he is very eager to get one people's good side and establish YES IT IS ME I AM A COOL GUY YOU CAN TALK TO AND BE FRIENDS WITH, DO U WANNA BE FRIENDS?"

eva thinks he is a reasonable person and doesn't understand why people think he's scary but goes "whatever, if i scare them, that's their problem!" he is not very easy to get along with but once u tap into his shell he is....well...he's eva

skuggy does not want to be easy to get along with and will purposefully make you scared of him or tell you blatantly to go eat rocks. like eva you have to crack his shell and really prove yourself to be a reliable, chill person and he might show you his true face

buggy tends to be easy to get along with, he doesn't come off super strong like jules. he isn't purposefully rude and wants you to feel welcomed, but isn't immediately gonna be like HI WANNA BE FRIENDS he treats you like a stranger at first and THEN gets friendly if you seem cool

9. Have you ever tried to make them in a character creator? If so, share pictures (if you have them)!

YES recently ive been making a lot of juli and evas here

link to above (non-picrew, picture maker)

link (non picrew)

cropped weird bc they were on my ig story LOL but here source!! i LOVE these two in patricular they look SO dman cool and everything fit so well it wasnt even a lobcorp picrew

12. Would you consider them well-liked in universe, or are they more an… acquired taste .

jules is generally well liked, eva is a mixed bag because he tends to be pretty hard on people but has friends who love care him and ensure others that Thats How He Cares For People. i guess id say buggy is generally well liked, skuggy is either a hermit or a rude asshole to anyone u ask in town, farrow is so mixed because he has 20 fake personalities but most people who know him hate his ass or just think of him as the nice fellow from 7/11 with the thousand yard stare, weird bloodstain pooling at the neck of his hoodie and arms full of Sprite bottles

15. What would their theme song/leitmotif be titled? What would it sound like, if you have an idea?

oh this is super interesting. uhmm eva's would be a performance/musical reference like curtain call or final refrain or whatever. would 100% be orchestral or something with very distinct, complicated piano lol. jules... i have no idea. something time loop joke. maybe guitar? accordion??/ SAXOPHONE??? farrow's would 100% be some janky electric guitar with distortion and breakcore in there watever. last laugh

20. How easy is it to befriend them? How easy is it to make them hate you?

jules is easy to befriend he's already down to be friends. buggy is second in difficulty, he's wary but still willing to be friends. eva is next he is not fond of workplace relationships until he is. outside of work he doesn't want anything to do with anyone bc the city scares him. but if you prove yourself to be kind he will be kinder to u in return. skuggy wants you to leave him alone and if you try too hard to be his friend he'll think you're annoying. farrow is in a ??? category because honestly you can't tell if he's your friend, if he pities you, or if he's planning some scheme with u as the casualty

it is not easy to make jules or buggy hate you. if he already liked you buggy will withstand so much bullshit until you finally cross the line and he goes okay you're just a piece of shit now. jules can dislike people or avoid them, but hate is a very strong word and he will only hate u if you are so pesteringly negative or smug and annoying that it drains him to be around u. it is very easy to get eva and skuggy to hate you--skuggy already does, totally unironically, and eva will hate you the moment you go out of your way to try

24. Do they know what a sigma male is. Be honest .

LMFAO the only ones who know what a sigma male is, are probably skuggy, farrow and julian. eva vaguely only through his crackhead friends

25. How do they react to being loved and/or cared for? Similarly, how do they express their love for others?

AHH YES I LOVE THIS TYPE OF QUESTIONS... julian reacts by smothering with love in return. he expresses love very physically, whether it be platonic or romantic. he is SUPER physical w everyone even strangers i cant emphasize this more, he'll put his arm around stranger's shoulders, but he WILL stop the moment they express uncomfort. he just habitually does it. he will high five and hug and hold his homies's hands, he will kiss his homies goodnight, and it isn't even romantic or weird to him, it's just how he expresses friendship. naturally, when he's doing it romantically, he just smothers u

eva is mainly just very confused and almost guilty, but very appreciative of it deep down. like "what did i do to earn this?" and if he feels like he Did do something to earn it, he'll melt into it! otherwise? why. he acts annoyed when its his friends or tries to be humble about it, but when its with a lover he cannot help but wind up dazed and confused but very in love KKJHJkjhf. he was raised to believe he had to earn and work for Everything i guess. he expresses his love more through subtle actions than through words, like leaving a note in ur lunch, making the bed for u, fixing your tie, brushing hair out of ur face, etc etc. he is all about subtlety

buggy is a bit scared but will absorb every ounce of love given to him. if it is from someone he's been with for a while he will skip the soscared phase and go straight to absorbing like a sponge and reflecting it back at them. he is also very physical and wordy with his love. he will make you pet names and hold u thru the night.

skuggy is just like buggy and can be soscared and even a bit defensive or reflective of it. when he expresses love he doesnt like doing it in words but will lay on top of you or just hang aorund you or do little things to indicate trust like falling asleep around u. will give you lots of gifts and things that make him think of you, and just. talk to you openly. be weird around you

26. How do they react to being disliked? Similarly, how do they express their distaste for others?

being disliked is the least of julian's worries, he doesn't really care. he'll just go eh cant reel in every fish in the sea i guess. and just not be buddy buddy w them. he expresses distaste by just exchanging glances w friends and being openly awkward and dismissive but not outright mean around them, like (guy approaches and tries to make conversation) "oh haha, uh...cool! uh, my friends and i were about to go do something, but thats sick i guess?" and then gossip w his friends kjhhjds

eva is used to it and is outwardly like WHATEVER. doesnt faze me. LOTS of people dislike me because they dont VALUE the lessons i teach them. and then he goes home and goes why dont they like me. what am i doing wrong. obviously this is something wrong with them, and not me (daily affirmation voice). he is verbal when he doesnt like someone-- he'll be rude, order them around, tell them to go away and do work, or just straight up say hey man, can you just leave me alone? i don't like you or your face

skuggy is glad when people dont like him because it means he can bug the shit out of them or theyll leave him alone. he will straight up call you a cunt if he doesnt like you

31. What are some things you associate with them? Certain aesthetics, items, colors, feelings, tastes etc! Anything goes!

we're in the final stretch. idk why but i associate julian with octopi? and the color purple, hearts, infinity symbols and ouroboros (oh here comes buggy w the ouroboros again), cats, and very sweet things! "liminal spaces" and the feeling of being surrounded by people yet being so excruciatingly isolated from them and yourself. and rams i guess

eva is really so much classical music, electricity piano, blue, oceans, and sharks to me. sea life and fish in general. any song w piano in it i run to look up its lyrics to try and tie it to him. coldness, snow, paper and very isolated scholarly vibes i guess. the sound of a metronome or a clock ticking, something steady and repetitive. ouh and clocks. hes hokma's son /j

buggy with rlly bright colors, electricity and neon, fire and chill peppers, and sheep! i havent been in the salem brain for so long man i wish i had more. forests and little lit wood cabins. and violence .

skuggy is a lot of muted colors like blue, green, brown. weird and funny lookin bugs. POLYPHEMUS MOTHS and eyes eyes eyes. feeling of crushing anxiety that makes u start gnawing and drawing blood everywhere. laundry machines. and just general brainweirdness. all of my undescribed mental junk that i cant label under anxiety or depression that is just generally truck stop tiger brain. and knives of course

im tired now but i had fun. hope you enjoy my essay my bible my manuscript. if you made it this far i legitimately applaud you and owe you my life like the hell. thanks. ok bye

#ocs #long post #ask #THANKS #julian #eva #skuggy #buggy #farrow #rambles

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its-captain-sir · 4 years ago

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BATTALION BREAKDOWN

Alright y'all, here it is, my breakdown of what I think a GAR battalion SHOULD look like. Full disclaimer before we get into it: I tried to research this stuff on wookiepedia as best I could but 1. there wasn't a ton of information out there on some of the things I had questions about and 2. some of it just makes No Sense when you put it together, so a lot of these numbers were made up by me and what I thought made sense based on what we see in the show and just simple logic. Feel free to accept/ignore parts as you please! Also, I'm gonna try to explain the rationale behind certain things as I go along but if you have any questions about this, you can send an ask/reply/reblog this post with your question and I'll do my best to answer it :)

Now that all that's out of the way, here's all the actual info beneath the cut.

Basic Organization

Essentially, the GAR breaks down into four tiers at this level: battalions, companies, platoons, and squads.

Battalions are the largest groups with 576* members and are all numbered, such as the 501st, 212th, 104th, etc. The only exceptions to the numbering convention are the Rancor Battalion that guards Kamino and the Coruscant Guard. Personally I believe that both of these should be double, if not triple, the size of a regular battalion, which could potentially explain the difference in names. Battalions are led by a clone commander and Jedi general + a padawan commander if the Jedi has one. 4 companies make a battalion.

Companies consist of 144 members and are all named. Using the 501st for example, this would be Torrent, Tide, Wave, and Typhoon. Note: Torrent, Tide, and Wave are canon/widely accepted fanon, but Typhoon is something me and my friends came up with. You're welcome to use the name as the fourth 501st company in your wips if you want! The names don't have to be related, but my guess would be that they often are. Companies are led by a captain.** 4 platoons make a company.

Platoons consist of 36 members and are simply referred to as the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th platoon under their company. Platoons are led by a Lieutenant. 4 squads make a platoon.

Squads consist of 9 members and are named. I don't have names for any 501st squads unfortunately, which is why those spaces are left blank in the picture. As a content creator, you'd have a LOT of freedom when it comes to these because there's so many within a battalion and it seems like they can be named just about anything. Squads are led by a sergeant.

*Numbers for this and subsequent numbers in this section were taken directly from wookiepedia

**One problem people tend to have with this is that Rex is a captain, and yet he seems to be in command of all of the 501st. I think most people have figured this out already but the clone wars writers really just threw names around willy-nilly when it came to all the military stuff. Rex should by all intents and purposes be a commander, and my personal in-universe explanation for this is that while he was skilled enough to go through ARC/command track training, he wasn't originally meant to be a commander and his CT number is what barred him from the title initially. Keeli would be another example of this.

A few comparisons just to illustrate it a bit better:

1 battalion = 4 companies = 16 platoons = 64 squads = 576 members

1 company = 4 platoons = 16 squads = 144 members

1 platoon = 4 squads = 36 members

1 squad = 9 members

Please note that these numbers do not include the officers. There would be 64 sergeants, 16 lieutenants, 4 captains, and a commander added to this number to make a total of 661 clones in any given battalion.

Now I could have just stopped here but I have a tendency to want to get way too specific in my wips so I went a little further:

Internal Battalion Assignments

To make the numbers a bit easier, this just looks at what would be found in one company, you can do the extra math if you want to know the full battalion numbers.

I tried my best to remember what kind of specialized troops showed up in the show since wookiepedia wasn't much help, and I ended up breaking these assignments down into medics, heavy gunners, ARF and tank operators, scouts, tech specialists, and standard infantry.

Medics total 16* within a company, one for each squad. Within the medical corps, they're further broken down into junior medical officers (JMO), medical officers (MO), senior medical officers (SMO), and the chief medical officer of the battalion (CMO). Any internal promotions would probably come from the CMO, maybe a SMO on occasion. When pertaining to medical issues, they do often outrank any other officer, but in combat, JMOs and MOs only hold the rank of private (underneath sergeant) and SMOs and the CMO hold the rank of major (between sergeant and lieutenant).

Heavy gunners total 16 within a company, again one for each squad. These are the clones who have been trained to use the Z-6 rotary blaster, like Hardcase and Hevy.

ARFs and other tank operators total one platoons-worth spread throughout a company, or 36 members. ARF troopers are the ones who drive the AT-RTs (the really bouncy walkers you can see used on Ryloth and Umbara) and other tank operators encompass, well, the operators of all the other ground vehicles we see used. The ratio of each of these seems like it could be fluid based on the needs of the battalion and their mission, so I didn't go too much further into this.

Scouts total two squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 16 members. To me it makes sense that one of the lieutenants within their company would specifically deal with their recon reports, simply because it's more organized and practical.

Tech specialists total one squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 9 members. Honestly this is where I grouped anything else left over, like the bomb squad members we see in the blue shadow virus episode, any slicers, etc.

Standard infantry totals the remaining 49 members in a battalion. They're strictly the fighting force on the ground. This doesn't mean that they're the only ones who do the actual fighting, just that they aren't specifically trained for any other specialization.

*These numbers and the subsequent numbers in this section were not taken from any canon source. They were calculated simply by what I thought would make sense to have.

LAAT/is and Starfighters

Again, I tend to be way too specific in my wips so not only did I go through all of the ground fighting force, but I started figuring out the some of the space forces attached to a battalion as well. This doesn't go into a ton about the Republic Navy because frankly, as soon as I read "7400 crew members on a star destroyer" I exited out of that tab cause that's a little Too Much to try to figure out, but I will cover how I think the gunships and fighter squadrons should work.

LAAT/is (gunships) total 48 per battalion, or 12 per company. However, two per company are usually held in reserve to make sure there's always something available for easy transport to/from the ground. This brings down the number to 40 per battalion, or 10 per company. Gunships take two people to man, so the total number of those pilots for a battalion is 96, or 24 for a company. There's also room for two gunners, which would bring the battalion total to 192, but from what I remember in the show the side guns rarely have someone in them, so I don't think the full 96 LAAT/i gunner positions would be filled. I also think the LAAT/i gunners could be temporarily reassigned from the main star destroyer crew (because 7400 is a LOT, they can spare 96). Wookiepedia said that the gunships could hold 30 troops for transport, but that seems like it'd be really cramped quarters. My guess is that each one would hold somewhere between 14-17 comfortably depending on how many people need transport and how many gunships are in use, which is what I kept in mind to come up with the original number of 48 for a battalion.

The Starfighter Corps consist of 5 separate squadrons, the standard* being two squadrons of Y-wings, one squadron of V-19 Torrents, one squadron of Z-95 Headhunters, and one squadron of ARC-170s. There are 12 in a squadron, plus a squad leader and two usually in reserve, so that's 15 total ships in a squadron and 75 total ships overall. Y-wings require a pilot and a gunner, so the total number of members in a battalion's starfighter corps equals 105. However, I believe some battalions could have up to double** these numbers if they're frequently in space battles, like Anakin and the 501st, or if they have a name that suggests it, like the 327th Star Corps. Squadrons seem to often be named after colors, but that isn't always the case, ie. Shadow Squadron.

*This standard isn't canon, it's just what I believe makes sense based on the number of ships types available and how frequently they are seen used in the show. The Y-wing bombers seem to be used a bit more than the rest, which is why I think there would be two squadrons of them.

**While double the number of ships is certainly possible, I figure it's more common to have three more squadrons instead of the full five so there would be two squadrons of each type of ship.

~~~

That's all I got! Like I said earlier, use whatever you like, ignore the parts you don't, it doesn't really matter to me. This system is definitely what I'm going to follow in my wips if anyone is ever curious about what's going on with those.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone out there! And if you made it this far, thanks for reading! :)

#star wars refs #god this got so long HAJDHSKFHSKFHDK #I really hope all my math is right hsjskdhskfhslfj #i only caught one screw up while typing all this out so I'm pretty sure it's okay #but i apologize in advance if something isn't #ALSO sorry for the shaky lines in the visuals my hands started shaking really bad while making them hskdhskfhskfj #clones #oh look another clone wars post

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citylightsbooks · 4 years ago

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The Motor of the Essay: Rachel Kushner in Conversation

This is an excerpt of a free event we held in conjunction with Litquake for our virtual events series, City Lights LIVE. This event features Rachel Kushner in conversation with Dana Spiotta celebrating the launch of The Hard Crowd: Essays 2000-2020, published by Scribner. This event was originally broadcast live via Zoom and hosted by our events coordinator Peter Maravelis. You can listen to the entire event on our podcast. You can watch it in full as well on our Youtube channel.

*****

Dana Spiotta: I know that everyone's going to ask you these questions about writing fiction versus nonfiction. And I read somewhere that you said, with your novels, you begin with imagery more than an idea or a character. With the nonfiction, there is a range of pieces about writers and specific books to journalism--like the prison story and Palestine--and then there’s the ones that are personal essays, right, like the girl in a motorcycle. So I guess they might all have different origins. But where do you begin with that? And how is that different as a process from what you write in fiction?

Rachel Kushner: Yeah, so it is kind of a different process for me, although I sometimes feel guilty to try to make declarations about which is harder, or how one does one thing, because you know, for some people, the essay is what literature is.

For me, fiction is more difficult. And so in a certain way it's what I've signed on to do with my life, because the process can be so mysterious and fickle and unreliable. And I'm waiting to catch a wave, or get the drift and then try to figure out how to sustain it, and then how to change it in order to sustain it. Managing so many different things at once is a very curious hermeneutic, because you need to know where you're going.

But then you also need to let happenstance inform you. I think some of the ways that we are challenged, and how we learn in our lives and also as writers, are by having encounters that we did not anticipate or predict, and that happens in fiction. And then you're kind of in a "taking mode" and you know exactly what's for you and you go with it and you run.

Essays are a little different for me. I mean, obviously. Time is shorter. But usually the motor of the essay is a sprung sentence. I come up with one sentence that is doing something in the syntax and it's making something sort of declarative. And it's kind of a gambit. And it needs to be followed by another. And sometimes I'll have a whole paragraph like that. And those paragraphs will just be floating in the void of the potentiality of the essay that I haven't written yet. And I don't sweat, like, "How am I going to link this to that?" yet. Because I just know by instinct that they're both going in. And if I put them in the essay, then they are interrelated by virtue merely of their proximity to each other. Then I start to build links.

Some journalism is a very different process. Like you mentioned, for the piece that I wrote, originally for the New York Times Magazine, about prison abolition and the carceral geographer, Ruth Wilson Gilmore, they said it can be any length and made it long. So you know, it was like 20,000 words. And it was my version of that essay, and it probably was a pretty good essay. But I think the weakness in it was that I was not speaking to their audience. And they really--you have written for the New York Times Magazine--they want to be able to countenance everything you say, sentence by sentence. It's not like writing an op-ed, where you just say your thing and then people can fight it out in the comments. They want to be fully on board. And I wouldn't want to have to do that all the time.

It's extremely difficult, because you have to keep remembering how to bring in somebody who may have wildly different ideas about how society should be organized, and not seem polemical, not seem pushy. It's a kind of seduction I think that really benefits from collaboration with an editor. It's arduous, it takes time. That essay took two years to write, but because the subject matter was important to me, ultimately, I decided it was worth it.

Dana Spiotta: Yeah, it's such a great essay. And I learned so much from it.

Peter Maravelis: When you're writing about events and feelings from decades ago, how do you return to the experience? What takes you back?

Rachel Kushner: That's a really great question. So, you know, with some of these essays, like the first essay in the book called “Girl on a Motorcycle,” which is about the Cabo 1000--a no longer existent, illegal motorcycle road race where you span the Baja in the course of a day--was the first thing that I ever published and I wrote it 20 years ago. And after looking back over it, in order to put it in this book and to improve upon it, I opened it up; I wrote a new beginning and a new ending. There are so many details and scenes in that essay that I never, ever would have remembered had I not written them down when I was much closer to the meat of that experience.

But there are other essays like the title essay which I just wrote quite recently. I'd put the book together, and I knew it was going to be called “The Hard Crowd.” And then I just basically sat down and wrote this essay. And I think, you know, as maybe you're telling a story, or going through your life, sometimes things really do sort of trigger the release of a memory. And Proust has this conception of two different kinds of memory that he calls voluntary memory and involuntary memory. And voluntary memory is the kind of fixed story that you tell, you know, "Oh, he's telling that story again," meaning it's a kind of sclerotic, hardened account that, for Proust, doesn't really have any real artistic or intrinsic wealth to it. Whereas involuntary memory is maybe when you would smell a perfume that you haven't smelled in 30 years and it reminds you of this or that. And I think that writing itself can activate involuntary memory, because you start to see into spaces you haven't seen in a really long time.

Like when I was writing this essay, I somehow ended up talking about Terence McKenna, and remembered that I'd seen Terence McKenna give this lecture at the Palace of Fine Arts. And then I saw the Palace of Fine Arts and him on the stage and where I was sitting, and who was in the audience. And so then I mentioned in the essay that this noise musician who I don't know, but I knew who he was, was sitting right in front of me. And that was a funny thing because the New Yorker called him and asked, "Were you at a Terence McKenna lecture in 1991." “Yeah, I was.” I mean he probably thought like the FBI is after him or something. I can start to see things and details in pretty haunting detail, particularity once I'm starting to build the framework that will allow those kind of involuntary memories to come up to present themselves.

Peter Maravelis: Do you feel that maybe kids who grew up in a certain era share communal memories, like growing up in San Francisco in the 70s is full of shared moments and scenes?

Rachel Kushner: Yes, I do feel that, but I would maybe even particularize it to not just an era, but to kids who grew up in a certain world within San Francisco. And I'm going to just be blunt: it's the kids who went to public school in San Francisco in the 70s and 80s. We all traversed a world together, and the particularity of that world. I'm not saying that it's special or different. Everybody has a world that they traversed, and that stays inside of them as memory. And ours is ours. And those who experienced it do feel bonded, I think, for life, in a way. And it's something I've thought about a lot since that essay was published in the New Yorker because of the number of people who reached out to me and wanted to talk about their own memories of this same world that we shared.

Peter Maravelis: In the New York Times review, Dwight Garner mentioned the phrase: “At the party, she was kindness in the hard crowd," from the Cream song "White Room." Is that in fact where your title came from?

Rachel Kushner: It is. I mentioned that in the title essay, it all becomes clear, or at least somewhat clear where I heard that song, and why I made it the title of this book. It's a good line.

youtube

To see upcoming events at City Lights bookstore in San Francisco, check out our complete calendar.

#Rachel Kushner #Dana Spiotta #City Lights Books #City Lights Publishers #City Lights Podcast #LIVE! From City Lights #The Hard Crowd #Youtube

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tirednotflirting · 4 years ago

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when you're next to me and the music's loud

i joined the crew of people who wrote like, love letter fics to their city (though i will be back to do it again bc i’m a romantic about this place lol). so here is jalex in austin !

title and inspo from the ungodly number of times i listened to don’t come down by the maine. thank you to literally rian dawson on a podcast for getting me to sit down and finally listen to all of lovely little lonely lol

i don’t mention the name of specific places for the sake of allowing you to kinda picture whatever you want while reading this thing but if you’re curious, the boys are seeing a show at this restaurant/venue called stubb’s (the indoor part of the venue which i’m not sure if they ever actually played but they DID play the outdoor bit in like 2011 or something).

feel free to come chat w me about austin or the couple of other places i halfway mention if you wanna. i love my city w my whole little heart and miss dancing and singing at shows

here it is on ao3

Watching Alex watch a show is probably Jack’s favorite view in the world.

He’s traveled around the world more times than he can keep track of at this point. Watched the sunrise over a few different oceans and sunsets over crowds of thousands singing along to words Alex scratched out into journals over a decade earlier. He’s watched meteor showers and solar eclipses and yet none of them hold a candle to the smile he can see on Alex’s face as he looks back at him from the crowd in this tiny, packed room.

He just barely catches the wink Alex throws in his direction before the bartender is tapping his shoulder to hand him his card back. Jack thanks her and weaves his way back through the crowd to Alex’s side. A lemon-vodka-flavored kiss is placed against the corner of his lips in thanks as Alex starts singing along to the song he’s somehow already learned the words to despite having never heard of this band before they started playing an hour earlier.

Jack knows he should be watching the band up on stage thirty or so feet in front of him but his attention just keeps getting pulled back to the boy next to him. To the way the blue and pink lights shine against Alex and paint his hair a bright purple (he makes the mental note to mention to him later that he should consider it next time he decides to dye his hair). To the way Alex bounces on his toes in the same way he does when up on stage himself. It’s always been one of Jack’s favorite parts about going to shows with Alex, the fact that he watches shows in the same way he performs one. It’s further evidence of how in sync he always is with the people who come to see them play.

It had been Alex’s idea to find a show to go to on their off night in the city. The venue’s website had no notice that tonight’s show was sold out so after dinner they wandered down the street and bought tickets at the door. Jack bought the tickets and Alex bought their first round (This is like a rock and roll version of dinner and movie, right?).

He closes his eyes for a moment then and takes a breath before bringing his drink to his lips again. Jack has always loved coming to Austin. He’s spent his entire life in love with live music. He loves the volume that leaves his ears ringing and bright lights and screaming along with singers from crowds. It’s always been his favorite part of being in a band, that he gets to help create those moments. Sometimes he forgets what it’s like from this end though. And this city always feels like the best place to come to for a reminder. The city always feels like it’s singing, like there’s music coming from every corner. It’s a different feeling from LA or Nashville or any other big, bright city. It feels more pure and alive but in an unpolished kind of way. Austin is what live music is meant to feel like.

“What’s going on up there?” Jack hears as Alex’s lips brush against his ear while tapping a finger against his forehead. He opens his eyes to the bright lights and blinks a few times so he can focus on the room before turning to let his eyes lock with Alex’s. Jack watches the stage lights flash in the dark brown of his irises, another view he should be so familiar with by now but still knocks him out every time. His free hand drops to wrap around Alex’s waist to pull him into his side and his cheeks warm at the laugh he receives in response though the music is loud enough he can’t hear it.

“Just happy. To be here, to be with you,” Jack leans in to say so he can be heard above the music. He watches Alex close his eyes and smile in the flashes of colored light coming from the stage and Jack returns the grin when he feels Alex lean more into his side and drop his head against Jack’s shoulder. He reaches for Jack’s free hand with his own and presses his lips against the back of it and Jack figures it says more than what he would likely be able to hear over the crowd and the music.

Jack knows it’s a ridiculously cheesy thought but there really is something so intimate about standing in the middle of a crowd with the person you love. He can hear the music, see the lights and the colorful crowd around them, taste the tequila on his tongue but his head is full of nothing but a static of Alex Alex Alex. As he’s gotten older, Jack found he was proud of himself for his ability to be more present as he moved about life and the world around him. But every once in a while his heart clouds up what’s in front of his eyes and the weight of his smiling, singing boy against his chest is the only thing in the world. It’s a peaceful feeling. For as long as he can remember, even when they were rowdy, screaming kids, Jack’s brain has always automatically associated Alex with peace. It’s something he’s been thankful for, to grow up in this wild world they created for themselves while holding the eye of the hurricane against his chest.

Alex lifts his head from Jack’s shoulder then and returns to shouting and jumping along with the crowd. The song comes to a close soon after and Jack wraps an arm around Alex’s middle to sway them back and forth as they listen to the singer introduce what is to be the final song of the night. He thanks the crowd and tells them to come out back to say hello after they pack up. Jack smiles fondly as he remembers hearing similar words from another lead singer in the same room nearly a decade earlier. He hopes the boy standing at stage right all those years ago would be proud of where he’s at now, playing to bigger rooms further downtown and holding the boy he loves against his chest. (A younger Jack would probably be most surprised that he’s drinking tequila though, if he’s being honest.)

“Where are we headed after this? Zack and Rian are asking if they can join,” Alex says into Jack’s ear to bring him back out of his nostalgia.

Jack drops his head to rest on Alex’s shoulder, his arms wrapping further around his middle. “Girl at the bar was recommending this other bar basically across the street. Said they have a food truck too if the boys are wanting food. I’ll drop the location for it when we’re heading out.” “Always one step ahead, aren’t you?”

“Only when playing tourist,” Jack laughs before turning to press his lips to Alex’s hair. He stands up straight then as the song starts and this time he instinctively starts jumping with the rest of the crowd as he recognizes the tune coming from the stage. Alex joins him and then they’re both bouncing and dancing around in the middle of the packed room, loudly singing to a chorus they both only barely know.

Soon enough, their eyes are sparkling as they laugh and try to catch their breath, the room already clearing out as the crowd heads for the merch booth and the bathrooms. Jack shoots the name of the bar to the group message while Alex spins around in circles while tying his flannel around his waist, bopping his head along and singing to a song that’s no longer playing. “Come on,” Jack says while pocketing his phone and reaching for Alex’s hand. “The food truck has chili fries.”

“God, I love you,” Alex says dazedly as they reach the stairs to take them back to the street level.

Jack laughs. “Because I know where to get chili fries at nearly midnight in downtown Austin?”

“For so many reasons, my love, but at this moment, yes. Because of the chili fries.”

“Alright, silly boy. Love you, too.”

And then they’re back outside and somehow the magic of the crowd and the band and the lights hasn’t faded as they head for the crosswalk. Jack is used to leaving a show and stepping back into a reality that just doesn’t feel as special as the energy of a show. Maybe that’s the most special part about Austin, that the entire city carries that magic in the gentle breeze blowing under the hem of his t-shirt. He’s turning to Alex as they cross the street to describe the feeling to him and see if he even understands what he means, when the grip Alex has on Jack’s hand tightens momentarily.

“I can feel it, too.”

Jack can only laugh in response, because of course Alex gets it. He always gets it. Later when they’re dancing around their hotel room, Alex will compare the feeling to something having to do with the formation of galaxies and exploding supernovas. Jack will smile and agree with every comparison Alex makes but when asked for his own, Jack will remember the weight against his chest during the show and the reflection of the city in dark brown eyes and give an answer with a more simple, four letter name.

#jalex #jalex fic #i am so so in love with this place and live music and i miss it all SO DAMN MUCH #that bar they go to has these super fun house drinks too like one of them has watermelon and rose water and they are So Damn Fun #i went to a 90s country themed drag show once and it was one of my favorite nights in the city probably ever

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mankai-onlyfans · 5 years ago

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first brush with fame - (TsuzuKazu)

It only takes Kazunari a few seconds to figure out how to set up the livestream, but as he double checks the settings, his heart skips a beat. This is so exciting! His fellow company members get to do what they love in front of their fans, and they’ll even get paid for it.

Sitting in on this first session is Kazunari himself, and Tsuzuru.

The reason being is that when Kazu was getting ready, Tsuzuru was the only one nearby who wasn’t busy (and can also be easily persuaded.)

Now, what to call this very first livestream...?

In a flash of inspiration, Kazunari types up a title.

Mankai's First Time All Male Super Hot Sexy Livestream !! 😘🔥

“There we go!” Kazunari cheers and takes a seat, checking out the different features of the stream while Tsuzuru withers beside him.

“Why did you call it that?" He asks weakly, already having doubts about letting Kazunari be in charge of this project. "It doesn't sound very professional... don't we want people to take us seriously?"

"It's clickbait! Just put in a bunch of keywords that'll make people wanna watch. It works every time." Kazunari smirks, the picture of confidence. He feels completely in his element. "See? It's already working!"

Tsuzuru bolts upright in his chair. "W-wait, it's live right now?” He asks nervously, his voice distinctly higher than normal.

"Sure is," Kazu replied, waving to the camera. "Look, people are starting to join!"

Sure enough the viewer count steadily goes upward, first two, and then five, and now it's at twelve.

"Alright!" Kazunari claps his hands. "We should introduce ourselves. My name is Kazunari Miyoshi, find me on InstaBlam." He winks and makes double finger guns at the camera. "You might also know me from my roles in Mankai's Summer Troupe plays."

He beams, watching as a comment appears, full of hearts, and then another one. They're at twenty viewers now. He nudges Tsuzuru, encouraging him to speak.

"H-hello!" Tsuzuru bows his head, a blush starting to dust his cheeks at the idea of being under scrutiny. "My name is Tsuzuru Minagi. I'm a member of the Spring Troupe, and the Mankai Company's amateur playwright."

Kazunari slings an arm around his friend's shoulders, much to Tsuzuru's annoyance. "Amateur? Don't be modest. This guy's a pro." Kazunari tells the camera, poking Tsuzuru's cheek before being batted away.

Kazu laughs, checking the status of the stream before continuing.

they seem cute lol

do you think they're close

I bet blondie is the top

Huh? He shrugs off the last comment and puts on a smile. Gotta focus on being entertaining.

"Okay, so now that we've made ourselves known. The rest is up to you guys! What do you want to know about us? Do you have any requests?"

Tsuzuru gives a start at this. "You mean you don't have anything planned?" He hisses, his cheeks really starting to flame now.

"That's the whole point of a livestream!" He grins in reply. "Anything can happen."

Kazunari turns his attention to the comments as more of them begin to roll in. Fifty viewers now.

He skims the first few question, skipping over a couple that seem a little weird.

"Do we like each other? Yeah, of course we do!" He says proudly. "Tsuzuroon and I go way back."

Tsuzuru makes a noise of protest. "Just because we've known each other a long time, that doesn't necessarily mean-"

But Kazunari interrupts him, pointing at the screen. "Oh my god, 'take off your shirt'?" he laughs and wiggles his eyebrows directly at the camera, giving it his most heart-stopping smoulder. "Such naughty fans... but I assure you, you would not be disappointed."

Tsuzuru roughly pulls Kazu back down into his seat. "What are you doing?! That's definitely not professional!"

"Fanservice, Tsuzuroon~" Kazunari laughs under his breath, thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease their fans. "Remember, we're supposed to be taking requests."

"Yeah, but that's a little too far, don't you think?" Tsuzuru pinches the bridge of his nose, already developing a headache from Kazu's antics.

"Come on, it's just a little teasing. No harm in that." Kazunari pouts. He grabs Tsuzuru by the shoulders, trying to convince him. "Don't be such a stick in the mud, bro. You don't want to end up all old and grumpy like Frooch, do you?"

This does grab Tsuzuru's attention. He looks like he wants to refute the point, but decides not to argue. "... No." He says with a sigh of resignation.

"That's the spirit! You just gotta lighten up a little," Kazunari ruffles his friend's hair and is quickly swatted away. He returns his attention to the screen.

Holy- 300 viewers?!

"When did that happen?" He mutters to himself, skimming through more comments.

did you see the way he HELD him??? so tender... ♡

omfg i ship it already 😍

what's their couple name?? sksksksks

Oh. The gears in Kazu's mind start turning. The flurry of activity and new viewers was sparked by... him giving Tsuzuru a pep talk?

More specifically that he held Tsuzuru for a moment.

Now, Kazunari may be dumb, but he isn't stupid. Even though it wasn't like that between them... maybe they could give a little more of that type of fanservice.

After all, he and Tsuzuru are close. They've shared a room before. They've seen each other in their underwear at various times during their high school and college years.

It wouldn't be weird, right?

His eyes catch on a comment.

he looked so cute when you touched him kazunari... do it again pls? ♡♡♡

Touch him? Well, that's easy enough. They didn't say he had to touch somewhere too personal.

A smile grows on Kazunari's face and he gives Tsuzuru a sidelong glance. "Follow my lead, Tsuzuroon?"

Tsuzuru, who is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Kazunari might view him as a Sakyo-in-progress, brings himself out of his musings and finds these new words from Kazu to be just as confusing.

"What do you mean?"

"Fanservice," Kazunari replies, leaning closer to Tsuzuru.

Tsuzuru instinctively leans backward, gripping the arms of his chair. He doesn't trust the look in Kazu's eyes. "W-what do you mean?"

Kazunari makes a tutting noise. "They want to see how close we are, Tsuzuroon," he chuckles.

Before Tsuzuru can think, warm hands are cupping his face. He never thought of Kazunari as gentle, but that's exactly how the artist's fingers feel against his cheeks. Gentle, careful, practiced. As if Tsuzuru's face was just another of his painting projects, all fine brushstrokes and delicate linework.

Then the color must be in Tsuzuru himself, appearing on the canvas as Kazunari's thumbs brush against his cheekbones. Bursts of pink beneath his cheeks, racing red inside his chest, a curious purple filling the back of his mind, and many, many warm yellows, dancing through his body, reaching the tips of his fingers.

Kazunari's smile turns into a beaming one, and with a wink, he pulls away from Tsuzuru, severing the connection.

"See, that wasn't so bad," he whispers, then turns his attention back to the stream.

They gained another 500 viewers! And ten subscribers already? Wow...

While Kazunari is fixated on numbers, Tsuzuru is trying to remember every detail of what just happened, searing it into his memory in case it never happens again.

But why does he want to remember it that badly? Wasn't it embarrassing? Hundreds of people just saw Kazunari hold his face, and yet the shame he expects to feel just... isn't there.

It felt... nice. To be held. By him.

Tsuzuru brushes his cheek absentmindedly, watching while Kazunari entertains the viewers with one of his many overused anecdotes. His eyes light up as he describes the memory, and Tsuzuru feels a funny tug in his chest.

Maybe Azuma was onto something with this whole fanservice thing.

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